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vixstarria · 8 months

Text

Seeing stars

Welp, I wrote more porn.

Astarion x F!Tav/F!Reader

18+, smut, porn with plot, porn with feelings, jealous Astarion, soft dom Astarion, dirty talk, fingering, PIV, elf ears and more! Humour, banter and fluff mixed in per usual. Tav failing several insight checks in the process.

I also poke fun at the in-game romance mechanics, and Wyll's Act 2 scene in particular.

This is the last time they have sex before the "I want us to be something real" conversation.

Approx. 2,900 words

AO3

“You won’t believe the ludicrous encounter I just had with Wyll.”

You burst into Astarion’s tent. Well, it was ‘Astarion’s’ tent only notionally at this point. Yours still stood, but it now served solely as storage space for your assorted junk. You had effectively moved in with Astarion, having first coerced him into replacing the wooden plank and bloodstained rags he slept on with some sensible rugs and blankets.

Astarion lounged half-naked on one of the bedrolls, reading something by candlelight.

“Oh?” he looked up at you. “Do tell.”

“First the massage you promised earlier,” you said sinking down onto the floor of the tent and stripping off most of your clothes. “My back is killing me after carrying everyone all day.”

“Oh please...” he rolled his eyes. “I recall you nearly walked into your own cloud of daggers, again, and would have if I hadn’t pulled you away in time. And then you blasted Lae’zel off a cliff. It’s a wonder we haven’t kicked you out yet.” He shook his head. “And if you’re carrying anyone, I’m the one carrying you.”

Still, he sat up as you laid down on your stomach.

“Who do you think you’re fooling with this modesty, darling?” he murmured, noticing that you’d kept your underwear on. “Just lose it now,” he added, as he slid it off, leaving you completely naked, before he settled over you, his fingers commencing work on your shoulders. “So what happened with Wyll?”

“I was making my way back here, and found him... performing some kind of jig by the campfire, pretending like he didn’t know I was there.”

“The ‘Blade of Frontiers’, dancing alone in the middle of camp?” Astarion snickered. “Did you mock him? Please tell me you mocked him.”

“Well... I was going to, but then he asked me to dance with him, very earnestly.”

“That scoundrel...” he mused. “And let me guess - you agreed, didn’t you?”

“Oh trust me, at that point it would have been more awkward not to dance with him, I had to play along.”

Astarion scoffed, with a chuckle.

“Do you always go along with whatever people want from you just because it would be too awkward to say no?”

"I try not to – last time I did, I ended up with a vampire who won’t stop sucking me dry,” you deflected. “I figured there was no harm in indulging him. Besides, I don’t see you dancing with me. It was kind of nice,” you teased.

“I hate dancing,” he said.

“Right,” you said. “I’m sure you hate dancing just as much as you hate poetry, flowers, art, cats... What else?”

“Children,” he answered. “I also can’t stand children.”

“No, that one I could see being true,” you grinned.

“So anyway, you two dolts pranced around the fire to the sound of crickets, then what?”

“And then he tried to kiss me,” you admitted, with a sigh.

Astarion’s hands paused for a moment before resuming their work, slightly harder than before.

“Well look at you, receiving the Duke Ravengard’s heir’s attention. Moving up in the world, hmm?”

“I didn’t let him.”

He laughed.

“Is there even a single person left in camp that hasn’t tried to get into your pants, darling?”

You had to think for a moment.

“Are we counting Volo?”

“Sure.”

“Then just Karlach and Withers.”

“Gods, I fucking love Karlach,” he murmured. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Why? Getting jealous all of a sudden?”

Astarion was silent for a few moments.

“I just don’t understand it,” he said. “You’re with me every night. I’m at your side every day. They see us. They hear us. Still, they don’t take me – or you and me – seriously. Tell me, is there something about me that screams: ‘Please, go ahead and take my lover for yourself. Come on in and snatch her right out from under me, I don’t mind’?”

Perhaps you’d made a bad judgment call when you thought Astarion would find the absurdity of the situation humorous rather than offensive. Still, you had to bite your cheek to keep from laughing at the dramatics he added to the delivery of the last few lines that left his mouth.

“Stop laughing,” he said.

“I’m not laughing,” you laughed.

“I can feel your back muscles twitching in your efforts.”

“Well, they’re aware this all started as a joke. Perhaps they never realised that it’s long stopped being one?” you offered.

Astarion’s hands had been moving lower and lower along your back. They had now reached your ass and continued to rub, stroke and squeeze, as you let out a soft groan.

“That’s not my back, Astarion.”

One of his hands kept squeezing an ass cheek, while the other dipped to stroke you between your legs. He gave a satisfied hum when two of his fingers entered you effortlessly.

“Maybe if they could see how wet I can make you just by rubbing your back they’d reconsider how much of a joke this is,” he said, his voice low. He continued to pump his fingers in and out – you were almost embarrassed by the loud squelching sounds that came out of you. You moaned and tried to lift your hips higher, but your legs were encased between his thighs, pinned down on the bedroll. “Do you think you’d be reacting this way to young Ravengard, darling?”

“Stop it,” you hissed. “You know I don’t want anyone but you.”

“Stop?” he pulled his fingers out, to your dissatisfied whine. You looked back to see him studying your slick on his fingers. “I should go smear this on his face right now... The audacity to try to get his hands on what is not his.” He licked his fingers clean instead. He turned his attention back to you.

“Maybe if you were more vocal about your devotion to me the others wouldn’t make these mistakes.”

His hand returned between your legs, spreading your wetness and slipping lower to tease your clit.

“I could be... encouraged... to be more vocal about it,” you breathed, trying to grind against his hand.

“Yes... I should make you scream my name, so they all know who you belong to.”

His fingers returned inside you, teasing you with shallow strokes.

“You can try,” you taunted him.

Astarion let out an indignant huff and shifted to spread your legs open with his knees, simultaneously placing a hand on your back to firmly hold you down. You expect to feel his cock enter you, but he continued to stroke you with his fingers, turning his hand to curl them downwards.

“Is that a challenge, darling?” he asked, his voice dangerously low. “You should know better by now than to bet against me,” he said, continuing to flex his fingers inside you.

It started off pleasant enough, but rapidly grew into... more. And more. You weren’t sure what he was doing but whatever it was, it was just about making you see stars.

You sputtered as the new sensation started to take hold of your whole being.

“Ast… what..”

You couldn't manage anything coherent, as his fingers continued to dig into you, gradually picking up speed and pressure. You started to squirm to try to get away despite yourself, but he simply put more weight against the hand on your back, securely pinning you to the bedroll.

“Always getting yourself into situations you're not prepared for…" he murmured. "You're not talking your way out of this one.”

His fingers were relentless. You were worried you really would scream and wake everyone in camp. All you could do was bite down on the pillow, hoping that it would muffle your drawn-out moans.

“Let go, darling... I know you want to.”

It's not so much that you let go – rather, all your decorum was ripped from you, as your muscles convulsed, the orgasm rolling through your entire body. You panted and shuddered, trying to keep quiet, your hands clutching desperately at the covers beneath you, trying to hold on to anything like your life depended on it.

Once the feeling subsided, you came back to your senses to find Astarion hovering over you, kissing the back of your neck and shoulders, grazing them with his fangs, almost but not quite hard enough to draw blood. You felt his erection rubbing against your hip.

“Has anyone fucked you like this before?” he whispered hoarsely into your ear, his breath ragged from his own arousal. “Tell me.”

“No,” you gasped, trying to catch your own breath.

“I thought so,” he whispered with a smile, kissing your neck before he sat back up.

You turned back to look at him over your shoulder. He watched you with a self-satisfied grin, his fingers returning to stroke you lightly between your legs once more.

“Do you want me to do it again?” he purred.

A part of you wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face after what he just put you through. Another, much larger part, wanted nothing more than to submit yourself to whatever he would do to you.

“Yes,” you admitted sheepishly.

“Turn around...” he narrowed his eyes mischievously. “I want to see your face this time.”

You flipped around onto your back, under his watchful gaze. His eyes never left yours as he stroked your slit, teasing your engorged clit with his thumb, before his fingers slipped back inside you.

You found yourself mewling in anticipation before he really even started doing anything.

“So eager,” he smirked. “So wanton...”

He curled his fingers again, moving his whole hand to mercilessly claw into a sweet spot you didn’t even know existed inside you.

You tried to relax into and accept this sensation, now that you were familiar with it. A growing pressure kept building at the bottom of your stomach. It was too much. It was entirely too much. You couldn’t take more of it. You couldn’t-

“Let go, I’ve got you...” His whisper sounded so tender in sharp contrast to the depraved way he was handling your body.

You sobbed as what you hoped was cum gushed out of you, your legs quivering.

“Good girl”, Astarion laughed with glee, bending down to place a kiss on your lips, continuing to stroke you lightly, “Your body reacts so perfectly to me... Do you want more?”

“You... I want you...” you groaned, biting his lip.

“If that’s what my good girl wants,” he purred, discarding what was left of his clothes.

You groaned as his cock entered you, rocking your hips against his, trying to find that feeling again.

“So wet and needy for me...” he goaded you. “I’ve completely ruined you for anyone else, haven’t I?”

He held absolutely nothing back as he fucked you, lewd insistent sounds of skin slapping on skin combined with your shared grunts and moans disturbing what was likely otherwise a silent night.

“Anyone awake knows exactly what I’m doing to you right now,” he rasped, voice thick.

Your walls clenched at the thought, making him shudder and sigh as well.

“You like that thought, don’t you..? I know you do,” he continued. “So shameless...”

Despite yourself, you whimpered, clenching again as another orgasm started threatening to overtake you.

“That’s it... Come for me again,” he groaned. “Come for me, my love.”

‘My love’..? Just a figure of speech, you thought. You’d thrown that phrase around, jokingly, but it’s never sounded so... raw. You wanted to hear it again. You wanted to keep hearing it.

“Your what?” you gasped.

He didn’t answer. Instead he caught your lips in a deep, devouring kiss, pinning your arms over your head.

Your body gave in and you trembled under him, caught up in waves of pleasure again.

He released your arms and eased his movements once you rode out your high, but kept kissing you, hungrily, unwilling to release your lips from his.

Clearly, no further words of love would follow, you thought to yourself with a tinge of both relief and disappointment, deciding to let it go.

“You’re so good to me,” you managed, breaking your lips from his.

“Aren’t I just?” he groaned, speeding up again to chase his own release.

You kissed your way up his jaw to his ear, pausing to nibble on his earlobe.

You couldn’t see it, but a ditsy, open-mouthed smile started to play on his face.

Astarion gasped with a sharp intake of breath as you continued further, running your tongue over the inside of the shell of his ear.

“Oh sweet hells,” he sighed with pleasure, immediately grinding into your harder.

You smiled as he tilted his head, just about pressing his ear against your lips.

“Do you like that?” you whispered in his ear, running your tongue over it again, lifting your hands to run your fingers through his hair. You knew he did. You just wanted to hear him say it.

“Yes... Don’t stop...” His words sounded like a desperate plea.

You continued to gently nibble on the edge of his ear, soft moans escaping you from his movements.

“That’s it, take what’s yours” you groaned, as his hips crashed into yours harder.

His breathing and movements were becoming more and more frantic.

“Astarion...” you whispered, grazing the shell of his ear with your lips.

He let out an uncharacteristic whimper, all his usual composure slipping from him, as he bucked his hips, fucking you with quick, shallow thrusts.

“My sweet...” you breathed against his ear.

He came completely undone, spilling into you with forceful, jagged thrusts, before finally stilling. His whole body seemed to melt into yours as he stayed on top of you, trying to regain his breath.

You wrapped your legs around his hips, not wanting to let go of him yet, but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to lift himself from you either. Instead he trailed light, tender kisses from your neck up to your lips.

You delicately traced the contours of Astarion’s face with your fingertips, running them from his cheekbone down to his jaw, as he leaned into your caress, gazing into your eyes.

Astarion parted his lips slightly, as though to say something, only to seal them again. He tilted his head to kiss your knuckles as your fingers gradually made their way back up, to run through his hair. Eventually he spoke.

“You would really choose me over the more... blatantly obvious options you have at your disposal here?” he asked quietly.

“Haven’t I made that abundantly clear already..?”

“Well of course you have – no one else is this good,” he said with a tired smirk.

“I’m not talking about the...” you blinked. “You know I’m not with you just for the sex, right..?” you frowned, looking into his eyes.

He looked away, slipping out of you and moving to lie down next to you.

“Is that so?” he said softly.

You found yourself suddenly feeling rattled. Was he simply fishing for compliments again, or had you been utterly oblivious to just how deep his insecurities ran this whole time..?

“You have a wealth of other qualities that I... enjoy and appreciate,” you said, somewhat lamely.

Astarion propped his head up on his hand and raised an eyebrow at you quizzically. There was a hint of vulnerability in his eyes despite his outward nonchalance.

Oh for fuck’s sake, you thought. I’m not ready for any serious conversations now, especially not with cum running down my thighs.

You turned away to grab something to wipe yourself down with.

“A gentleman would clean up his own mess, by the way. Not one of your strong points. But you do have some virtues that make up for it. For instance... I can leave cheese unattended around you, knowing you won’t eat it.”

Astarion went to pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing.

“You’re a treasure trove of useless information,” you continued. “But unlike some of our companions you usually keep it to yourself.” A hint of a smile played on his lips at that.

“Your hand feels nice and cold on my forehead when I have a headache.” You laid back down next to him, mirroring the way he was lying.

“You always smell nice, especially for a dead guy. You never hog the mirror.”

“What about my hair, won’t you mention that?” he smiled.

“No, fuck your hair, it makes mine look awful in comparison.”

He chuckled at that.

“I do rather adore the garnet puppy eyes though,” you murmured. “What else... You make me laugh, and, more importantly, I make you laugh – which is great for my ego,” you continued.

“As long as you understand that I’m usually laughing at you,” he countered.

“Prick... Then there’s the fact you’ve saved my life four times.”

“Seven,” he said quietly, looking into your eyes.

“Five.”

“It’s seven, dear, I counted.”

“Whatever. When it comes to battle, you’re silent but deadly,” you said. “Like a-”

Astarion’s hand covered your mouth.

“Do not finish that thought, darling.”

You grinned from behind his palm.

“I think we can be done with this conversation,” he said.

“Wait, wait, one more...” you laughed. “You’re eccentric, unpredictable, often irrational. I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”

You smiled as Astarion groaned dramatically, covering his face with one hand.

“Knowing I’ll get to spend another day in your mad company gives me a reason to get up in the morning,” you added, softly.

“Come here, you sweet fool,” he whispered, drawing you against him.

You hugged him tightly. It took so long for him to start initiating these embraces that wouldn’t lead to sex... You relished each one.

Tomorrow, Astarion thought to himself, unbeknown to you. I have to tell her tomorrow.

~~~~~

Follow up bonus scene

This work is part of a series - here is the master list

Next in series - Confession

AO3

Tags: @littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny @spunky-89

@spacebarbarianweird @kittenintheden - hey, I heard you like elf ears

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 smut #astarion smut #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #astarion romance #bg3 fanfiction #astarion fanfiction

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l3viat8an · 6 months

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Rooo *hands u a mic 🎤* what do the demon brothers camera rolls look like???

okay this was fun XD

Silly / sweet (mostly silly) hcs!!

Lucifer ↓

So many photos of Cerberus, everything from really good photos where Cerberus is behaving to blurry pics because he won’t sit still.

A few photos of his paperwork (he keeps them like backups)

Candid photos of you-

A few photos of the two of you out together, think like sweet / date night pics <3

Photos of flowers or just random things that remind him of you. Sometimes he’ll even send them to you, just to let you know he’s thinking about you even while you’re apart.

Photos and videos of his brothers, a few candids, a few blurry messes and a few more of his brothers and you together at dinner. (From Luci’s pov it’s perfect- everybody he loves enjoying a meal together.)

Mammon ↓

Pictures of you- you studying, hanging out with him, sleeping, shopping- Mammon has pictures of you doing basically everything.

Pics of himself ofc, tons of selfies too!!

Assorted memes.

Pics of stuff he’s trying to sell online.

Screenshots of price comparison for stuff he wants to buy online.

screen shots / pics of stuff he wants to buy for you!!

Random photos of his brothers; stuff like Belphie sleeping on the couch, Asmo in the middle of doing his makeup, etc- typical older sibling, slightly embarrassing photos lolol

Levi ↓

Anime memes!

Pictures of Henry 2.0 !!!

Pics of his gaming setup so he can brag about it online.

Screenshots of every time you texted him ‘I love you’ or something sweet.

Random game screen shots.

Pics of himself in cosplay!!!-

Tons of photos of him at cons! (with and without you)

Satan ↓

High quality cat photos.

More cat photos, but it’s feral / street cats running away from him so they’re super blurry.

Cat videos.

Cat memes.

Photos of books he wants to buy.

Screenshots / photos of random book quotes or spells he wants to remember.

A few candid photos of you ofc!

a photo of Lucifer asleep at his desk, and that one time Lucifer spilled coffee down his shirt- Satan always says he’s saving them for blackmail but for some reason never uses them.

Asmo ↓

Photos of himself- soooo many selfies and every-single-one of them is hot.

His nudes + your nudes

Selfies of you and him!!!

Pics of random things, flowers, drinks, anything he thinks is pretty / cute and he can get a good pic of!!

Horrible pics / blurry videos of his brothers doing stupid shit. He uses them as blackmail :)

Beel ↓

Gym pics gym pic gym pics!!!-

But really he has some pics of himself in the gym and some videos so he can check his form.

Lots of food pics-

Screenshots of various menu's.

Videos of Belphie sleep talking.

Pics of you two out together, walking around town trying street food!

Belphie ↓

Pics of Beel working out pt.2 it’s supposed to be pics of Beel and Belphie working out- but Belphie always gives up after 1 rep.

Pics of You, Beel and Belphie cuddling in the attic!

Selfies that he usually sends to you to show off his horrible bed head-

Some blurry pics of the stars / the moon.

Pics / videos of you and him cuddling!!

Screenshots of pillows that he wants to buy-

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kdinjenzen · 1 year

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(minor totk spoilers ahead)

So my favorite thing to see if folks who never played a Zelda game before Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom really focusing on THESE outfits:

I mean, for a million reasons, yeah I love these outfits.

But because of BotW and TotK being a lot of folks (much like OoT was) first Zelda game, people have a weird sense of "this is the first time they did anything like this" OR that "All Links Are Like This".

Neither of which is true.

The most important thing to take away from any Zelda game (and the franchise as a whole) is that every single Link is SO different than any other Link.

Which is why, personally, I think that anyone who says "Link is so gender" is beyond accurate because each Link is very gender in VERY different ways.

Case in point, Twilight Princess Link:

This Link is also very GENDER, but it's so opposite of the "Very Gender!!" that BotW/TotK Link has.

AND THEN... to go completely in the "using Link as a dress up doll for the first time" aspect... they made a WHOLE GAME where the point was "grind in dungeons and get outfits" ... it was called Tri-Force Heroes and the stars are THESE LITTLE BELOVED GENDER GREMLINS:

And like... the outfits here are... WILD:

ZELDA'S DRESS, A CAT SUIT WITH A DEEP V CUT, SEVERAL MAGICAL DRESSES, A CHEER LEADER OUTFIT, A SUIT MADE OF A CACTUS, A SUIT MADE OF BOMBS, ETC ETC ETC. So yeah like... each Link is very different on the gender scale in a lot of ways and it's fun to see how wildly different but still very GENDER they all are.

#totk #loz totk #botw #loz #legend of zelda #triforce heroes

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forsworned · 2 months

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JINX! YOU OWE ME A SODA! ft. KYLE 'GAZ' GARRICK

Author's note: Because Kyle does not get enough love and I really wanted to write for him and the little interactions between the 141 :)

Tags: Sexual Content, Masturbation, AFAB!Reader, Brainrot convos amongst 141 men, Team Building and Banter w/141

It's breakfast time in the mess hall and Kyle is navigating to the usual spot that the 141 hangs out in. Clandestine, blue rusty bench right against the large panel windows, with a clear view of the crisp evergreens and wildflowers stretching out in the horizon. A peaceful outlook for a proper meal and some banter.

"Brekkie for a champ." Johnny winks up at him, noshing on his breakfast burrito.

Kyle chuckles as he takes his assigned-unassigned seat next to the friendly Scotsman and they start chatting about last night's fútbol game. It is followed by Simon sliding his tray, seating himself opposite Johnny with a quiet clatter as he attempts to slip his large body onto the bench. And then it's Price coming from behind him, jostling the skull-masked behemoth to scare him, but it's lost on Simon because he's just giving him an uninterested stare that causes the table to shake with laughter.

And you? You're sitting there from the outside, munching on your home fries with a pang of envy at their camaraderie. Never really having a taste of it as you sit alone most days unless you're on the go, rushing to a mission and you're sharing a ration bar with whatever squad they stick you in. But let's face it, no one really wants to be around you.

Jinx.

That was your nickname. Luckless, star-crossed with death, always skulking closely in your shadow.

Your reputation presided over you. Seven squads KIA, and you were the only one to survive them every single time.

So, it's no wonder you're a lone wolf in a mess hall full of lively, rowdy soldiers.

"Why don't we sit here?" A new recruit inquires to their Sergeant.

Their superior takes one glance at you before giving you a tight-lipped smile, "Actually, I just remembered Corporal Dunn (s/o to my mans) needs us back in his office, so let's just have lunch there, yeah?"

The rookie's wide, naive eyes peer over at you and they wordlessly nod at their CO and you don't even bother to see if they've glanced over their shoulders, whispering to one another about you.

"...seven...?!"

"Keep your voice down, soldier..."

"...sorry."

But somebody seems to have their sights set on you and your sharp, feline-like eyes are on the Sergeant tables away, tucked away into a corner and he can't help but jump a little as he's downing his morning brew.

And suddenly he's snorting it up and his teammates are throwing jests his way.

"Keep y'er coffee in y'er mouth, dammit!" Johnny bellows as he erupts into laughter, patting his back.

And there's something inaudible said by Kyle and you're studying the way his pretty, plump lips move.

"'s that Sergeant over there."

And suddenly four Brits are shamelessly turning your way and you're not tearing your gaze away from them as you're scoffing down your scrambled eggs.

"Heard she's lost seven squads, only one to make it out alive." Simon speaks in a nonchalant tone, popping a piece of celery into his mouth before his face contorts into something that resembles disgust.

A "Bloody hell, that's disgusting." is drowned out by the continued conversation between the three of them about your unfortunate rep.

"'s not the lass's fault." Price adds, leaning back a little to crack his spine. "Oh, yeah, tha's the stuff." A satisfied groan leaves his lips as he rests his elbows on the table, listening in on the little shred of gossip.

This time, it's between Johnny and Simon as Kyle zones them out and his honey eyes are training back on you. A frisson runs up his spinal column when he realizes your gaze never strayed. Like a cat, you're fixating on him, wagging your tail, not yet ready to strike just simply observing with a piquing interest.

And then the subject changes when Simon decides to make a jab at how Johnny's overgrown mohawk resembles a porcupine and he's chuckling to himself as the Scot gets riled up. Kyle thinks that one last glance won't hurt, but you're gone. Not even a trace of maybe some crumbs left from your English muffin. He's intrigued to say the least.

Kyle is spending his days in search of you. You're like an apparition that only gets spotted on odd days of the week at unsuspecting time frames, nestled snugly into unfrequented areas on base. He's trying hard to remember the way your hair looks, your lips, the curve of your nose but all that's burned into his memory is your pointed gaze burring holes into his vision.

He stays up late when he catches a glimpse of you in the armory as he's passing by it, in deep conversation with his Captain about how Koala bears do indeed have chlamydia. And he's backstepping to gaze through the window, but you're gone and he's starting to think that maybe you are a ghost.

How stealthy and lithe your body must have to be under that black, compression tee and those tight, tight tactical pants...

And he's fisting away at his dick, half frustrated and half aroused by the allure of your mystique. Little black cat, thumping her tail against the concrete with enigmatic, hypnotizing eyes that entrance him.

"Fuck!" And he's spilling all over his sheets, taut, heaving abdomen, and humiliatingly enough, right on his chin. He dabs at the cum that's dripping on his face and then gazes over the opulent arousal, before throwing his head back and groaning.

Why was you being such a quandary turning him into a fucking pillock?

"...Kyle...Kyle!" Price's hasty voice rips into his stupor, slinging him back into reality.

"Goddammit, Kyle, ya missed th' shot..." Price clicks his tongue, shaking his head under his gilly suit as he makes up for his mistake. "Are ya soft in’t head or summat?"

"No, sir." Kyle mumbles, embarrassed at the fact that his Captain is cleaning up after him.

"He's gey glaikit" Johnny pokes over the comms.

"English, MacTavish." Simon presses the Scotsman.

"He's fuckin' dazed." Johnny quips. "Fuckin' cunt."

And then there's a collective laughter amongst the four soldiers and Kyle can breathe again, the memory of you tossed into the backlogs of his mind as he's back in the fray.

But then it's 2am on the base, and he can't sleep so he's in the kitchen trying to whip up some Pinterest drink,

"Angel's milk?" He scrunches his brows at his phone screen as it casts a blue shadow over his flummoxed features.

He shrugs his shoulders as he squeezes the bottle of honey into the bottom of his mug, followed by a generous amount of milk, and then he pops it into the microwave for a minute and a half. He leans against the kitchen island and lets out a sharp exhale.

"You were supposed to add vanilla."

He practically feels his skeleton jump out of his skin at the voice, but he can't lie about the fact that he was more than elated to see who was standing beside him.

Hell's fuckin' bells, as Johnny would say.

She was standing beside him, arms crossed, hair in a cutesy haphazard manner, dark circles carved under your eyes, dressed in a little pink striped VS lounge set. And fuck, you smell so good. Like warm vanilla, candied almonds, and maybe coffee? It is difficult to say because he is too flustered by your abrupt appearance.

Your presence and how striking you were up close as you were far away, breathing, existing right next to him.

"Bloody hell, you scared the shite outta me." He swallows thickly, and for the first time, he sees the corners of your lips gracefully turning up into a smile. And oh man, it's making his dick twitch pretty violently in his blue-white tartan pajama bottoms.

"Did I?" Not bothering to hide the satisfaction in your voice nor your expression.

"Ya did, indeed."

And the tension is so palpable. His eyes are skimming over the exposed skin of your thighs, from the fresh baby pink manicure on your nails to your shiny, lacquered lips. You were a sight for sore eyes.

Thump, thump, thump.

He can practically hear your metaphorical tail thudding against the kitchen tiles right now.

The beeping of the microwave rips through the suspense and he pushes himself off the counter to retrieve his heated mug. Opening the utensil drawer to pull out a spoon to stir the little concoction, but his brows are raising when you reach over to squeeze two drops of vanilla extract into his drink.

"Tryna poison me, are ya?" He teases, peering over at you. You have a mischievous glint in your eye as you put the cap back on and carefully tuck it away into the cabinet for later use.

"Don't need to."

"Why's that?"

But you've already turned away, walking back to wherever you came from, hips swaying in your satin pajama shorts that outline every curve of your sweet body.

"Because you'd already be dead by now if it were up to me." You state over your shoulder and then you disappear into the abysmal hallway.

And then he's back in his room again, tightly coiling his hand around his slippery cock that's soaking with his own saliva and maybe a little bit of lube. Same shit, different night, though, this time he was blessed with an addition to his hyperactive imagination.

This time he's thinking about how you would look bouncing on his cock, smiling down at him with your hands around his neck. Pretty, shimmering lips parting as those sharp eyes drift to the back of your head and--

"Shiiiiiiiit."

He's shamelessly cumming all over the hardwood floor of his room, milking out his semen as it comes out in steady ropes and he is heaving. He feels how his cock is convulsing in his hand and he lets out a winded breath before tossing himself against his mattress with heavy eyelids. He goes to bed wondering how worn out he'd be if he ever got his hands on you.

"Oi, Johnny, how many bloody times d'ya need me to tell ya? Pick up y'r fuckin boxers after ya've had y'r shower, ya daft twat!" Simon's roaring echoed through the hallways of the base, shaking up the new recruits but just another day to passing soldiers who had been there for longer.

Price and Kyle merely observe the pair from the sofa in their living room as Johnny's form peeks out to an irate Simon who is standing in the doorway to the shared washroom. Johnny is nonchalantly drying off his mohawk that's now touching the nape of his neck as he peers at the rubber ducky boxers pinched between Simon's fingers.

"Why, ye get frightened over a pair o' kecks?" Johnny is totally poking the bear that is Simon 'Ghost' Riley, and Kyle and Price have to stifle their laughter. But truly this was better than reality TV, so they let it go on.

Simon merely blinks down at the impish grin on Johnny's face.

"You fuckin'..." Simon begins to say.

"No, you are fucking YOU ARE FUCKING!" Johnny boasts out and there is a twinkle in his eye and the two are at it.

"Fuck YOU BLOODY BASTARD BITCH!" Simon plays along as he starts shouting back at Johnny and that just riles him up like the giddy puppy he is, continuing the brainrotting bit. Add that to the laundry list of things that's already on the post-mission 141 routine.

And then there's a rapping at the door that cuts off the laughter and the ridiculous comedy skit that Johnny and Simon are playing out.

"I'll get it." Kyle volunteers getting up from the couch to peer through the peephole, but he feels a lump in his throat at the sight.

"What is it, Kyle?" Price asks in a hushed tone. He must've seen the way the Sergeant visibly stiffened.

"It's her." Kyle emphasizes in a way that lets on a little more than he's willing to admit.

"The lassie from the other day?" Johnny pipes up, suddenly very intrigued.

There's a chorused 'Shh!' at Johnny, who's baby blue eyes widen a bit as a small smile appears on his face.

"A'right, sheesh."

The room is quiet for a brief moment before Kyle just decides to bite the bullet and jingle the door open. And there you are, dressed monochrome as hell, like a second skin in your normal attire. Long-sleeve, slate-grey henley fitting snugly around your upper extremities while the black cargos are hugging tightly around your thighs, but is falling baggy below the knee.

He shifts his weight against the doorframe, supping up your every feature, pretending like he isn't falling apart on the inside at your mere presence.

"Can we help you?" He asks, coolly.

Smooth, Kyle. Smooth.

You narrow your eyes at him. "Actually, yes." You mimic the way he folds his arms across his chest before you take a deep breath.

"Laswell sent me over."

Price enters your line of sight, pressing his palm at the base of the casing, and peers down at you with a cocked brow.

"Laswell, you say?"

You shamelessly size up the Captain, not caring how your eyes are lingering a little longer than they should on him and his Sergeant. The pair cock an amused brow at your behavior before you shift on your other foot.

"Yeah, she said you could use my expertise, I suppose." You shrugged indifferently. Whether they choose to bring you on board wasn't really a huge concern of yours. By now, you were sure that they knew of your reputation, so if they took a chance on you right now, you'd be more than elated to join their elite task force even for just one mission. A huge part of you was itching to get back in the field, and honestly, you had a feeling that these men were a lot more resilient and capable of handling themselves enough to not get killed in the line of duty.

Price turns around to Johnny and Simon who approach from behind and they all share a look before peering down at you

"Let's get to work then, yeah?"

It is laborious work withholding himself from not jumping over the table and biting the flirty Scotsman's head off when he sees the way he was making you giggle. Using his boyish charm to woo you as he puts his arm around the back of the sofa to show you just how easy it is to hack into Russian portal sites to access any organized terrorist emails, threads, or private chats on any relevant intel they could muster up.

Making dirty hacker jokes like, "Ye got an access point fer me?"

To which Price shoots Johnny a knowing 'down boy' look and, of course, he just gives him a coy smile in response. It's infuriating.

So instead of simmering like a twat, he gets up to make himself a cup of coffee. And if it weren't for the smell of candied almonds and vanilla drowning into his senses, he would've never felt your presence standing beside him.

"Ya followin' me or are ya actually after a brew?" His eyes fall on you as he moves to lean against the counter and sip at his coffee.

"Make me one?" You ask with a reticent smile.

He swears he can feel the lump in his throat expanding as his pretty honey eyes flicker to you. He licks his dry lips before casting you a half grin and sets aside his mug. Kyle is a gentleman. He would never deny a lady's request. If the lady wants a coffee, then she will get a coffee.

He wordlessly prepares the machine once again, popping in the K-cup, letting it run until the mug is full and offers it to her. She sweetly thanks him and even her voice is enough to get a little rise out of him, but not long enough before he watches her hand the fucking brew to Johnny. Fingers tighten around the handle of the ceramic, but before it can crack a gloved skeleton hand reaches over his own and puts it down for him.

"Don' let tha' twat get to you." Simon's gruff voice cuts into the Sergeant's head. "He's jus' takin' a piss on ya."

They both glance over at the two who are back to being friendly, kicking their feet up before returning to their respective roles. But Johnny flickers his gaze to the hard stare he's feeling on him and gives them a cheeky wink and grin, toasting his mug to him before sipping at it. Kyle scowls at him.

"A Twat, he is."

The day of the mission is like any other day, but your scent is literally driving him into a maniacal state as he's adjusting the laces on his leather boots. This time it's reminiscent of musky prickly pears, and figs that are infused with your natural scent, and it's making him break a sweat.

But he snaps himself back into his domain. He spurns any invitation from you to sidetrack him when he's prepping. Humiliating himself in front of his Captain the last go around certainly exceeds the threshold of mortification he could handle. Add you into the mix and it's a recipe for disaster.

It was a simple enough objective. They were conducting a training exercise. A sweep and search to detect and disarm IEDs that were at a high risk to civilians inhabiting the south side of London without alarming the public. You were specifically instructed to wear concealed weapons, plain clothes, and a cigarette or two to blend in, but damn. Your ass looks so good in those low-rise jeans and the henley that's unbuttoned a little too far down...

Focus, Kyle.

"Mission like this is elementary for someone like you, innit?" Price breaks the silence, as he adjusts the gun in his holster. His brows raise at you as he chews on some cinnamon gum.

You playfully scoff, "Didn't make it this far to die on a simple sweep and search."

"Awe, don't look too doonfaced that ye haven't been sent on a real mission yet." Johnny ribs winking at you.

That earns a little chuckle from the gentlemen around you except for Simon. He's gazing out the window in a far-flung daze, and you bump your knee into him. His dark eyes flicker to you and he bumps your knee back in acknowledgement. Just black cat things.

Surprisingly that doesn't wrack Kyle's nerves. Instead, it just brings a smile to his face. Being aware of your status within the base made the small interactions you shared with them all the more charming. The skittish black cat in you began to emerge from the alleyway, hesitant to be petted but still willing to brush her tail against their calves.

Cute.

"Mate, if you take any longer, 'm gonna blow myself up for fun."

"Oh, feck off."

Playful banter is exchanged between Simon and Johnny, as they work in pairs to disarm the 'bombs' scattered throughout the city while remaining undercover. Thankfully, the five of you were out of earshot from any residents because you'd all have a field day with that one and something tells you that Price doesn't exactly have the patience for that kind of thing.

"Suprised you're not complaining." Kyle speaks up as he surveys you to cut the last wire to neutralize the threat. The grass is dewy, and there's a hum of cars passing on the slick streets as civilians shuffle past, huddled in coats.

"Nice work, [name]." Price praises, seeing that you completed your task. You cast a smile his way.

"Thanks, Cap."

And he's moving back to Johnny and Simon who are too preoccupied with one another to see that their Captain is a bit disgruntled with their lack of urgency.

"They're such knuckleheads." You chuckle to yourself.

Kyle glances over at the three who are now bickering over something that was now completely unrelated to the task. His smile grows.

"That they are."

"So, do I pass or what?" You stood up straight, glancing over at your Captain. He gives you a good-natured grin.

"Don't get too cocky now. It's still an op, y' know?"

You nod your head. He was right about that. It still was an active operation that could flip at any moment. Intrusive thoughts flood your mind and you feel frozen.

"Hey," You feel a grounding hand on your shoulder. You glance up to see Kyle warmly smiling down at you. "You'll be alright. We'll be alright."

Price feels pride wash over him as he looks at his Sergeant and then back at you as he folds his arms over his chest. "This isn't like any team you've ever been on before."

"I've heard the stories." You mimic your Captain's gesture. "barely hangin' off a heli and still managing to rush the enemy? Impressive."

"Upside down at that." Price claps Kyle's shoulder, causing him to become bashful at his Captain's words.

Your Captain averts his gaze to Johnny and Simon, who are on their last disarming. "Are you lot finished, yet?"

He goes on to berate the two who were taking a wee bit too long for his liking, leaving the both of you alone. Kyle awkwardly shifts his weight as he hovers his hand over his gun.

Your gaze is intense on him, not even bothering to pick up any conversation. He can practically see your tail twirling, feeling at ease with his presence while he feels himself gnawing away at his insides to say anything.

He takes a breath. "You're a lot calmer than I thought."

You shrug. "Well, when you've outlasted seven crews, what's eight?"

"Yeah, about that," You both pause for a moment, observing as a throng of pedestrians treks on the sidewalk just a few yards away, but they disappear behind the buildings unaware of your militant presence. "you wanna tell me why you're the only one who's made it out?"

You narrow your eyes at him. He is right to be suspicious, but you didn't feel like being scrutinized for the nth time. You were proven innocent in every situation, but something lingers in the back of your mind that makes you feel guilty every time. The memories of your missions have gone south, the sharp sting of adrenaline coursing through your veins as you dodge ricocheting bullets. But you shake the thoughts away. "Another time, maybe. Don't wanna jinx it, do we now?"

Kyle grins at that. His honey eyes fixate on you, searching your expression for anything that will give way to what you're really thinking.

Before either of you can say more, Price's voice cuts through the air. "Enough chit-chat. We've got one more to disarm and I want it done before anyone catches wind of what we're up to."

The tension between you dissolves as a new one accumulates in your shoulders as you refocus on the task and approach the final IED. You begin to feel the reality of the situation hit you when you realize everything could go insanely wrong. The public may be unaware, but the consequences of failure are all too real. Your consequences, your failure.

Price gestures for you to take the lead on this one, after all, you're the one he's really examining. You don't realize it, but he has full belief in your abilities. He's read your file and he knows damn well what you're capable of. You're under the scrutiny of your teammates, but one shoulder squeeze from your Cap gives you the morale boost to drop to one knee and begin your work.

Upon investigating the device, you realize it's like the other devices and you feel yourself relax a little. Kyle is at your side, and trepidation seeps into your fingers as they cruise over the wires.

"Blue or red?" he asks.

You don't even skip a beat. "Blue." you reply, trusting your instincts. "On my count."

Kyle readies himself with his wire cutters. "One. Two. Three."

You both carefully snip the wires, and for a moment it feels like the world stops. Your eyes watch as the device powers down, neutralizing the threat.

"That's it." you breathe out, feeling relief wash over you as allow your shoulders to relax.

Price steps forward, and claps you both on the back. "Good work, Wisp, both of you. Civvies are starting to get curious around here."

Wisp?

"Yeah, Wisp! Tha's a good one, Cap!" Johnny cheers, holding out his hands to give you a double high five. You giggle at the unexpected enthusiasm, but you high-five him back and intertwined your fingers together and he does a mini jig.

"Did a fine job." Simon politely nods, respecting your space, unlike his idiotic, cutesy counterpart.

Kyle clicks his tongue but is grinning otherwise at your success. The Scotsman can flirt all day with you, but he knows there is some brimming between you two. It was simply a game of cat and mouse at this point.

Wisp.

As you gather your gear, a lingering sense of impending doom still skulks in the back of your mind. You feel an itch under the skin where your past scars have healed over, but it's duller than usual. Pushing it to the back of your mind, you fall into step with Kyle feeling as though something has shifted in your dynamic with everyone.

In that crucial moment, Kyle trusted you. They all trusted you. It lingers in your mind, a question left unasked.

Kyle nudges, catching your gaze. His smile stretches beautifully across his face. "Guess we make a good team don't we, Wisp?"

Wisp.

You can't help but return the smile, feeling the butterflies settle in your stomach. You feel reborn. "Guess we do."

As you walk away from the site, blending back into the hustle and bustle of the city, you can't help but wonder what your next mission will bring. Whether the tension that is rising between Kyle and you will go unspoken. For now, you'll allow yourself to savor your victory. You've come out of it unscathed. They came out of it unscathed. As awful as it was, that's more than what you could ever say about your last teammates.

And as the rain falls softly around you, you feel like the hell you've endured is somehow worth it.

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hazelsmirrorball · 11 months

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BOTTOMS THE PODCAST | Hazel Callahan

Rockstar! Hazel Callahan x Host! Reader Summary: Hazel Callahan is a special guest on The Bottoms podcast after Y/n said in a lie detector machine that she was her crush. Warnings: Not proof read. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my main language. a/n: Wrote this in my costume design class, something happy after that angsty Rockstar girlfriend chapter. I've been binge watching frenemies so that's how I got this idea. Hope you guys like it! I really love reading ur comments, they really make my day <3

Y/n always had a lot of things to say. All her life people would make fun of her because she never knew when to shut up. Maybe it was the fact that she knew a lot about several things or the fact that she just enjoyed talking shit. But the girl could talk hours on end about things not knowing when to stop. Thankfully, Y/n had friends that liked to talk as much shit as her. Josie, PJ and Y/n could drag people like they were drinking water. So when they were offered to do a podcast the three of the girls agreed without hesitation. Getting paid to talk shit on the internet for an hour? That was an amazing deal.

And by the looks of it, everyone around them agreed that talking shit was good since they were having a godly amount of streams daily. The girls had decided to name the podcast “Bottoms” and it took place in a small studio in downtown. The girls wanted the studio to look as cozy as possible. So instead of a serious looking podcast they decided to decorate the room with vibrant colors and random knick knacks, the three girls had a say in how the studio looked so at the end of customizing it they had an unintentional division of their areas. Different colors and decorations that made their area theirs but the only thing the girls had agreed on was having bean bags as chairs, that was the best part.

Their podcast “Bottoms” was popping off, so the girls had come up with several ideas to not make the podcast repetitive or boring. Costumes, themes, breakdowns and most importantly, special guests. Due to the fact that people actually like them, there were a lot of celebrities that surprisingly wanted to be on the show. So in the last episode when Y/n was attached to a lie detector machine and was asked if famous rock star, Hazel Callahan, was attractive. She had rambled about her crush not thinking that Hazel was going to hear the podcast let alone be the next guest on it.

There she was, academy award winning rockstar, Hazel Callahan, sitting across from her. Her hair was messily styled as she threw her head back laughing at something PJ had said, her pearly whites showing through. She slammed her ring covered hands as she attempted to stop her laughing fit. For the first time in Y/n’s life she was speechless. Hazel was beautiful, Y/n knew that. But having her so close by made Y/n malfunction with her beauty. Hazel was sculpted by god and being near her made Y/n feel things she couldn’t say on air. Y/n wasn’t going to survive an hour of talking, she glanced at the timer that was behind the cameras noticing the 00:10 on the screen. Ten minutes and she hadn’t said a single word. Ten minutes of her staring at Hazel while she talked about the tour and her life. The only thing viewers could possibly see was her staring lovingly at Hazel and if she had to see a compilation on youtube of her staring at Hazel she was going to lose it.

“Damn, Y/n. Cat got your tongue? See people…Y/n likes talking shit about how much game she has. But as of right now she barely said hello to Hazel. May I remind you guys that in the last episode she said that Hazel was her dream girl and that she could take h…” PJ started pulling the microphone towards her as everyone focused her eyes on Y/n, including those damn blue eyes. Y/n could feel her body tense up but she quickly analyzed where PJ was going, so she slammed her hands on the table interrupting, PJ.

“Miss Callahan, Do you have a girlfriend? The people want to know” Y/n managed to get out. But after hearing herself in her headphones say those words she felt herself cringe instantly regretting asking that. Miss Callahan? Who the hell did she think she was speaking to? Y/n moved on her bean bag chair noticing how it sucked her up. Y/n closed her eyes not wanting to face even more embarrassment while she heard Josie and PJ attempting to hold in their laughs.

“I’m single, actually. So I hope that’s good for the people.” Hazel said, pulling her mic towards her with her ring covered hand. Hazel quickly shifted on the bean bag crossing her leg on top of the other one resting her hands.

“Oh, but there’s a rumor that rock stars get puss. You don’t have groupies all over you after shows. I’ve heard your name countless times, supposedly you're a pussy pleaser in the community. Opinions on that.” PJ added trying to stir up the pot for the episode. Y/n stared at PJ agape not believing the words that were slipping out of her mouth. Hazel let out a loud laugh, surprising the three of them.

“The question was if I was single, not how much I got laid. But I’m glad you’ve done your research. Not a lot of people mention my supposed pussy pleaser ways in interviews, which makes this one intriguing. So thank you for putting that out there” Hazel said sarcastically while attempting to hold in her laugh.

“Supposedly?” Y/n let out looking at Hazel slightly. She quickly gripped on her head regretting letting that slip noticing the cocky look on Y/n’s face.

“Well, I can’t confirm the rumors myself but if you want, we can test that theory.” Hazel replied, sending a wink towards Y/n direction. PJ gasped loudly hitting the table once again.

“You're good. Like a god, never have I seen Y/n this quiet. What is going on?” PJ said in between laughs while looking all around the set.

“I don’t want to be cocky but if we get past this pod, I’ll promise you she’ll be really vocal and loud. But that’s not important right now…How about you? Are you single Miss L/n? I want to know” Y/n looked up, her face completely flushed as Hazel grinned towards knowing the effect her words had on Y/n.

“What are you supposed to be?” Y/n said quickly trying to change the subject off her once again. Hazel looks down at her outfit trying to hide her smile while Josie instantly notices her discomfort so she takes the lead clearing her throat.

“What Y/n is trying to ask is, what is your costume? For all of you guys that don’t know we are in halloween. We have been doing different themes for each episode to dress up and all that. By the looks of it you’ve always dressed up. But if you do not dress up then I like your new style. It makes your eyes pop” So why don’t we go around the room and say what we are dressed up as. The theme this week is crush. It can be a fictional crush, celebrity crush, real crush, whatever crush you want. So I decided on dressing up as my lovely girlfriend, Isabel. My biggest crush in the whole world. Shout out to you, babe. She did my makeup and styled me this morning. Who’s next? ” Josie said as she pulled her flower dress down as PJ applauded obnoxiously loud making Y/n cringe one again. Hazel reached towards the water in front of her arms slowly grazing Y/n’s leg making her tense up once again.

“Y/n, why don’t you go? Who are you supposed to be, Anakin Skywalker?” PJ asked in a joking tone while turning towards her.

“First off all, Fuck you. Second of all I was told that our costume was going to be fictional characters not crushes.” Y/n started while fixing her robes. Josie chuckled, pulling out her phone to check the email while Pj shook her head.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. For you it’s the same person that’s why we didn’t tell you anything. We didn’t want you to be a more blushing mess than you already are. So don’t be such a puss and tell the camera who are you dressed up as” PJ continued pointing at the camera while Y/n rolled her eyes.

“I’m dressed up as Kit Tanthalos from Disney’s Willow” She muttered into the mic while glaring at PJ ignoring Hazel’s eyes.

“Wait isn’t that, Hazel's character in that show she’s in,” Josie started making Y/n groan throwing her head back clearly embarrassed.

“You know what I want to know, what the hell is PJ dressed up as. Who’s your crush” Y/n said quickly, making PJ look down at her shirt.

“I’m dressed as a Milf, obviously. I know Hazel being here has taken your common sense but we need you to be attentive. Now, Hazel. Who’s your celebrity crush?” PJ asked, turning to Hazel. Hazel smiled widely, turning to Y/n, not unlocking their eyes.

“Well, I decided to dress up as my favorite podcaster. I thought my outfit was pretty obvious.” Hazel said standing up, giving an awkward turn. Y/n could feel her face turn completely red noticing that her outfit mimicked one that was recently posted on her instagram story.

“You see guys, this is how we make love in this podcast. In the next episode we will probably talk about all the puss Y/n got.” PJ almost screamed into the mic.

...

Thank You Guys For Reading!

#hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan imagine #hazel x reader #hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #ruby cruz x reader #ruby cruz #kit tanthalos x reader #kit tanthalos #save willow #willow #bottoms movie #pj bottoms #josie bottoms

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radioisntdead · 3 months

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Happy Father's Day folks! I bring you Alastor, Vox and Husk dad headcanons because the original fic I was writing wouldn't be done in time so that'll be posted eventually.

Alastor

Well it looks like someone got picked up off the streets! You!

I love the accidentally became a dad trope for Alastor, he just causally stumbled upon you and then couldn't get rid of you.

Occasionally tries to get you to sign your soul to him especially if you have potential to become someone great and powerful.

Fails to optain your soul EVERY SINGLE TIME, L, sucks for him.

The only screentime you get is when the hotel has movie nights or whenever anyone that's not Alastor is babysitting you lets you watch cartoons.

Teaches you how to cook Louisianan dishes, like how his mother taught him.

I imagine he reads you the original version of the grimm brother fairy tales.

You get him this shirt and he wears it as a pajama or whenever Lucifers near by.

He doesn't seem like the type to drive but if he does he plays jazz and talks about it like how dad's talking about rock or whatever they listen to.

Dad jokes, dad jokes galore.

Vox

Firstly I am so sorry that you're an iPad kid!

Does NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE with Valentino,

Depending if you're biological child from his time alive or not you might actually have a screen head.

iPad kid, iPad Dad.

Valentino is smart enough to know that he's not to mess with you but it's Valentino.

Velvette is either your aunt, older sister figure or cousin figure.

Definitely gives you all the latest electronics.

I'm pretty sure you're a nepotism baby here so you wanna star in a movie? A regular NON- Valentino film? You're the main character! You wanna start a singing career? Hatsune Miku who?

You probably have your own show on his TV programs.

Someone upsets you? You're whipping out your phone and calling Daddy.

Like my other Dad vox headcanons, You just chill out in his office at times, or chill out in the back while he's hosting a meeting popping in with your two cents every once in awhile.

In the totally unlikely event that he gets taken out during extermination, you get Voxtech.

Husker

If you're underage he's not giving you drinks, doesn't matter that you're both in hell, you're not drinking underage!

He's definitely the type of dad to let you take a sip from his beer during like new years or something though but like not a whole bottle.

I personally headcanon that he's been divorced like twice and has at least two kids so who knows you might have a sibling running around somewhere!

I imagine you're also a cat, meow.

He's actually a decent dad, definitely supports you in whatever you wanna do although grumpily.

Has a picture of you as a baby in his wallet, or hat.

You mention you like that specific brand of chips? He's getting you some every time he goes to the store.

Your favorite soda is A PAIN TO FIND? and it's only at specific stores? He gets you a couple of them whenever he sees them.

Teaches you magic tricks and also how to gamble,

He taught you everything he knows.

Happy Father's Day folks! I hope you have a wonderful day and spend time with your fathers/father figures or if you don't have one of those that you have a good day regardless,

Despite the oddly common assumption, I do infact have a Dad, so I will be hanging out with my dad until he has to leave because he's going to a game, as always thank you for tuning in!

Psst! You should totally join our discord server!

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #husk x reader #husker x reader #vox x reader

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obsessivevoidkitten · 2 years

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A Canine and His Cat

Yandere Male Dog Hybrid x Feminized Male Cat Hybrid Reader (CW: Noncon, male reader, feminization, rimjob, scent kink, non-human genitals, stalking, kidnapping, pissmarking (the reader is not scent marked just a building), bullying, general yandere behavior, heat cycles but not a/b/o and no mpreg) Word Count: 3.1k (I wrote this between the hours of 11pm and 7am, not beta read, I proofread this to the best of my ability but I am sleepy and dizzy, please excuse any errors, I hope you guys enjoy this and I am sorry for two dog men in a row, but I had the idea of a dog man bully and a cat man victim and had to write it up immediately. Also I purposefully left the yandere’s description vague because I want readers to imagine him however they want, and I thought if he ever gets fanart it would be fun to see what subspecies of dog hybrid readers see him as.)

You did not know why Shale insisted on being so mean to you, he had targeted you from the moment you had first met in college, he was a junior at the time and you had been a sophomore but you still shared a few classes. And he made those classes miserable. At first you just assumed it was because he was a dog hybrid and you were a cat hybrid, and sometimes there was an instinctual animosity between certain hybrids, but that theory was quickly discredited when you noticed that he was nothing but civil with all the other members of your subspecies. Whatever the reason for his personal vendetta against you it would not be a problem for too much longer, the end of the year was now approaching and he was now a senior. Which meant you would only have to keep your head down and avoid the brute for a little longer before he graduated and you would never have to see him or deal with any of his bullshit ever again. It was a happy thought. You had thought your years in university would have been relatively fun, meeting people with new interests, getting to know other students in your field, and taking part in new clubs and hobbies. But for over a year now it seemed that all of your friendships had simply fallen off and faded away, all your applications into clubs were denied, and no one wanted to be associated with you. The conclusion you came to was that no one wanted to be associated with someone who had drawn the ire of the star basketball player. And while that was part of it the reality was even worse, Shale was using his connections and influence to make sure no club would accept you and he subtly threatened anyone who even seemed like they were starting a friendship with you. It was not just that people wanted to avoid someone being bullied by him, it was that he was actively ruining your social life. Shale didn’t know why, at first, but he really needed you to be completely disconnected from everyone and everything. After months of tormenting you he realized that wasn’t strictly true, he just needed you completely disconnected from everyone and everything that wasn’t him. He was going to break you down until you were a lonely little mess that needed him to come in and clean you up. Over the course of your sophomore and junior years he just could not help himself, and he had no desire to either. Shale never missed a chance to make fun of you in class, and sometimes he made you do his homework. But the most infuriating thing he did was sometimes leave one of his jerseys or jocks in your locker, typically when they were ripe with sweat after he won a big game. How did he even get them in!? You could tell by scent that it was him, but even if you couldn’t he would always remark to you that you shouldn’t throw away his “gift” because once he went pro it would be the most valuable thing you ever owned. Ugh, the arrogance, it made your fur bristle. And since you lived alone in an extra small apartment reserved for hybrid students that had to deal with heats, as even male cat hybrids did, singling you out outside of classes was all too easy for your tormentor. The infuriating dog man left mocking notes on your door, sometimes he waited in front of your place just to make fun of you directly, and he even fucking piss marked around the entire outside of the building as if it was his property! You could tell immediately who it was by the acrid stench in your sensitive nose. Of course you filed complaint after complaint, but the college did absolutely nothing, even implying that you were making it up for attention. Of course they did, what did you expect, he was a star athlete that brought them a ton of profit and prestige. Why would they take any action to ruin that just to make one little cat hybrid safe? At any rate your plan to avoid him and keep to yourself was at least partially working, it helped that you only had one class with him this term, but you interacting with him less made him decide that he needed to escalate things. During your next lab assignment he made SURE that you would have to be partnered with him. Your class was dismissed and told to find someone to work on an anatomy project with. You had to pick a subject to study, go into great detail about a specific part of its anatomy and physiology, and explain how and why it had evolved that way. You looked desperately around the large room for any other free classmate, a lifeboat in the rising tide of dread, but everyone else was already partnered up. All you found was Shale looking at you with his trademark smirk. “Hey, bet you love this chance to hang out with me, don’t you loser?” The way he looked at you with those red eyes of his made you want to scratch up his face. “Yeah, it’s my life’s dream to be subjected to more of your bullshit,” you quipped dryly. “I just want to get this over with, when do you want to work on it?” “Yeah, whatever, I can come by in a couple hours after practice.” He gathered his materials and went on his way. You knew this would be hell for you. But you had no idea how bad things were about to get for you. Shale had executed his plan well, he could smell you just starting to enter your heat cycle and he knew you would be slightly more vulnerable during this time period. You were not worried about working on the project tonight though because it was only just starting to happen and you would not have to even miss any classes except for a couple days when it was most intense. You tidied up your tiny apartment and waited for Blockhead to show up, when he did you opened the door and greeted him with all of the enthusiasm of a kid going to the dentist, and let him in. You could immediately tell by his smell that he had not showered after his practice. “Jeez, why so cold, girly?” He smirked and looked at you with those red eyes of his, happy knowing he got the reaction he wanted as your ears moved back and you shot him a glare. That was one of your biggest pet peeves and Shale had sniffed it out like the dog he was, despite very clearly being male he always called you a girl. Sure, you were not really strong or masculine, but you definitely did not appear to be a female either. “I swear to god! Can we please just do this assignment!? Five seconds here and I am already sick of you.” You growled a bit to emphasize you were not happy. “Damn, fine, you’re really feisty today princess’” You grumbled under your breath as you both took a seat at the table sitting beside one another and got out your laptops to type and research on. “What do you want to do our assignment on?” You asked, not looking up from your laptop. “Well, I wanna do our assignment on a cute kitty girl’s heat and see if a dog man can make it progress faster!” He looked at you suggestively. “Wh-what!? Uh… how would we even do that? I don’t think I want to do a project on th-” He interrupted your sputtering reply by rubbing his strong hand up your thigh, your face turned beet red and it took you a moment to come to your senses and swat his hand away. “I know it takes three days for your cycle to start fully, I can always smell it on you even before it really begins, come on kitten, let’s see if we can jump start it~” He reached for you but you pulled away and got out of your chair. “I-i’m not a cat girl! I am a man, I cannot even have kids! Uh, so we can’t do that project! St-stay away from me!” You backed up until you were up against the wall and you tossed a small vase with a plant in his direction. He caught it and put it down and chuckled as he stepped forward, “Hey, don’t put yourself down, have you ever tried making babies? We can try real hard right now if you want to~ Even if you can’t there are plenty of women who can’t get knocked up!” “Uh, I have a dick! I really don’t think trying to get knocked up will help…” You ran and dove past him and made it to the door but he caught you by the legs and carried you to your bed as you kicked and screamed. “Come on, there's no harm in just trying~ And that’s kinda transphobic baby girl, plenty of girls have dicks. I bet yours is reeeeeally cute~” In Shale’s mind you had to be a girl, because he was so attracted to everything about you from your feisty attitude, to your cute cat ears and tail, even your lovely smell, and he was not attracted to men. So that must mean you were a girl. You swiped at him with your claws extended, but he easily dodged the swipes then caught your wrists and held them over your head with one hand. The other hand stroked your face tenderly before softly touching your furry ears. “So soft~ I always knew they would be!” His tail wagged happily as you wiggled and writhed beneath him. “You really need to calm down kitten, because I really want an A+ on this assignment, let’s see if we can get your heat started and whether or not we can grow some pups in that tummy.” You began screaming and shrieking as loudly as you could before Shale took a shirt that had been lying on your bed and used it to gag you completely. Then he took his pants off and used them to tie your arms up behind your head after he removed your shirt. Now you could only kick, but after he pulled off your pants and underwear he used more clothing to tie your legs to the bed posts. “I was right! Your little cock is fucking adorable~” He leaned down and kissed the tip before climbing on top of you and sniffing you thoroughly. His eager nose probed from your underarms to your neck. “Fuck, you smell so good, you have no idea how long I wanted to enjoy your scent up close.” You tried growling and wiggling in response but he just chuckled, “Haha, are you that needy to have my cock in you? Be patient, I'll get to it!” You just struggled harder in response, you did not want his dick in you! Shale got between your legs and stroked your cock a couple times while licking your nuts before putting your entire dick in his mouth and sucking it like it was the most delicious thing in the world. He went back and forth a while between sucking your cock and licking and kissing your balls. You could not help but to instinctively thrust your hips towards his warm mouth, though you still did not want this by any means. Though Shale definitely took it as a sign that you were starting to become more willing. Shale decided that before he tried his best to fill you up full of babies he needed to prep you. So he stayed between your legs and started lapping his eager tongue all over your hole. You squirmed in a mix of defiance and pleasure as his talented tongue lapped deeply at your inner walls. He finished by kissing your hole before spitting on it to make sure it was extra wet and ready for his cock. The horny dog hybrid removed his underwear and you saw his cock bounce free, it was big, red, slimy, and completely unsheathed. He placed the tapered tip at your hole and slowly slid himself inside you, instantly rubbing your prostate and making you jerk and moan in pleasure through the gag. Shale wanted to hear your moans for himself and he was sure he had jump-started your heat, judging from how warm your insides had gotten and how you had started twitching with pleasure and letting out muffled moans and gasps. Even if he did not have any of those cues to go off of he could certainly smell that your cycle had rapidly reached a crescendo under his ministrations. He was correct in his prediction that you would not try to scream anymore, it felt so nice to have a cock in you during your heat. It was by far the most amazing thing you had ever experienced and it was just too easy to succumb to the pleasure Shale was causing you. As he continued to lose himself in the sensation of your hot insides his knot swole up and tied the two of you together, you were stretched well enough to accommodate it without any pain, but when it rubbed against that special sensitive spot inside of you you saw stars and came all over your belly with a loud moan. He could feel your entire body shudder around his cock as he kept plowing deeply into your tight ass. You looked up at him with a pouting expression. “Please let my hands go!” You seemed like you were about to cry and he trusted at this point that you wouldn’t try anything so he untied your arms and you immediately threw your arms around him and clung tightly to him. Shale managed to then free your legs too and you automatically wrapped your legs around him, your whole body clinging to his as he picked you up and kept breeding you. You were already hard again as Shale battered your prostate. You were drooling and whining in his arms, desperate for another release, as he bit your neck possessively and left his mark there. You could feel his cock quiver as it started shooting thick cum and filled up your insides.

"Fuck babe, your pussy is amazing, you really thought you weren't a girl when you have a cunt like this?" Shale sat down with you on the bed, he knew his kitten needed to cum again so he gently rocked his knot back and forth with slow deliberate thrusts inside you while massaging your balls until you hit your second climax. You were suddenly so tired, it was as if the energy expended during your previous struggles, your rapid progression through your heat cycle, being fucked into oblivion, and cumming so hard was all hitting you at once. Your lover could see how tired his girl was so he held the back of your head and nestled it into his strong chest until you fell asleep while he waited for his knot to deflate. His heart melted as you began purring while snuggling up to him and he knew that what he was about to do was the right thing. When you woke up the first thing you noticed was that you were burning up and aroused, right in the middle of your heat. The second thing you noticed was that you were no longer in your apartment, you were on a strange bed in a strange room. Shale must have cleaned you up because there was no trace left on your body of what had happened before you went to sleep. You noticed that you had been dressed in a short skirt and thigh high stockings and there was a collar on your neck with a little bell on it. It felt like it was made of leather but it was something much more durable and you had no hope of removing it. When you got out of the bed to look around at your strange surroundings you noticed it was tied to a long cord, it was long enough to let you move about the room, and get to the adjoining room which appeared to be a bathroom, but you could not get near the door. In the corner of the room you noticed something unsettling, it looked like someone had made a shrine to you, it was covered in really odd photos you had certainly not taken yourself and laid out in front of the photos were some of your personal things. A brush that had gone missing from your apartment, a pair of underwear, some pages from assignments Shale had made you do for him, and a poem you had written that should have been in one of your journals that you liked to write in. The implication of what someone had to do to get all those things made you uneasy. You jumped back in fright as you heard someone unlatch the door. Shale walked in with a great big grin on his face. “Sorry I was late, baby girl, but I had a morning class today!” He came over to you acting as if absolutely nothing was out of place. Like he had not just kidnapped you after fucking you silly. “What the fuck!? You can’t just keep me here!” You hissed and swiped at him again. “Awe, calm down kitten, no need to get all angry. It’s just that I am graduating soon and I could not have my girlfriend leaving me so I bought this house with my signing bonus! You can stay here while I finish up classes and after that I will only be gone to do practices and games.” He pulled you close and kissed your forehead. “If you behave you can even come with me to those too and we never have to be apart. But this cord is staying on until I am sure you will be good to make sure you don’t try to run off.” His tail started wagging at the thought of always having you there with him, his own personal cheerleader spurring him on during every game and practice. “What about my classes!?” You looked at him with dismay, he was serious, he was really going to keep you here. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, you don’t need to work, you’ll be my housewife! Now let’s get you to the bed, I can smell that you’re still in heat and I want to make sure your urges are all taken care of.” With a defeated sigh you let him take you by the hand and lead you to the bed, there was no way you could escape him, so you might as well make the most of it.

#Yandere teratophilia #yandere terato #male yandere x male reader #male yandere #male reader #cat boy reader #dog boy yandere #yandere dog man #My OCs #My OC Shale

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suedoodle · 1 year

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Your Mario and Luigi art is amazing!! Your style for them is so perfect and unique 🥺

I'm actually curious of if you have any specific inspirations for the way you draw them? Generally I see a big mix of M&L series art but was wondering if there were other inspirations too?

Tons. Tons of Inspiration. Most of them come from the games but others actually are from promotional art, Japanese ads, or I just made it the heck up.

Here's a list of all the places I've pulled form in previous drawings:

Mario & Luigi series (Where I pull the most from, it's the most obvious) Superstar Saga, Partners in Time, Bowser's Inside Story, and Dream Team.

Super Mario 64 DS (Unagi eel encounter and playing 'Picture Poker' mini game with Luigi)

New Super Mario Bros. series (Getting stuck in the bubble and propeller power up flying)

Mario Galaxy 1+2 (Boo Mario and Luigi are very cute. Luigi especially because not only is he more oval shaped compared to his round brother; but he constantly has a worried look from being a ghost)

Super Mario Sunshine

Luigi's Mansion series (The duck floaty is from LM3)

Mario Marker (They're wearing their MM construction outfits but they're eating sandwiches on top of a I-beam like at the end of LM3)

Mario Paint (Mario wears his normal cap sideways with his painter outfit in that game while in Odyssey it's a beret)

Mario Tennis Aces

Mario Kart: Double Dash

Super Mario Odyssey (Many cute outfits from this game, I used 4)

Super Mario 3D World

Mario Kart Tours (Luigi gets 2 outfits from here- 'Painter' and 'Vacation')

Dr. Mario World (Baby Mario gets his doctor costume from here)

Now drawings of the Baby Bros are a special case. Out of the original 18 doodles, 5 of them come from 'Partners in Time' because that's where they're the most prominent as playable characters. But a grand majority of them I just made up, but not without a lot of thought! For example, the doodle of the babies in pajamas makes reference to their animal power ups. Baby M has a racoon plushy and Baby L has a fox plushy; a nod to Tanooki Mario and Kitsune Luigi. But Baby L also has spotted pajamas connecting more to his spotted cat form.

As for commercials, two poses come specifically from a single Japanese only ad where Mario rescues Luigi from Bowser (High-five + Hug Jump). And the white suit movie premiere outfits drawing I did actually comes from a Japan-only Super Mario All-Stars commercial.

So yeah, probably a long-winded answer just to say that all the drawings at the very least have roots somewhere.

#SueDoodle #mario #luigi #baby mario #baby luigi #super mario bros #smb

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bitterchocoo · 9 months

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hi can i request wxs with a reader who bakes a lot, and often surprises them with fresh pastries? if you dont wanna write all of them just rui or emu is fine! 😊

It Only Takes a Taste

Wonderland X Showtime | M. Reader

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"You remind me of a girl I once knew.."

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Tsukasa Tenma

Will praise your baking skills like there's no tomorrow.

You once make star-shaped sugar cookies for him and he cherishes that thing like it's a real star.

100% brags about having someone who has amazing baking skils

If he sees you baking in the kitchen, he'll help you and you don't have the right to say no. I mean just look at him! Don't you see how he shines brighter than the freaking sun at the thought of baking with you?

The face he makes every time he takes the first bite is always priceless. His eyes practically sparkle.

Also suggested that you should open a bakery, claiming that, "with your skills you'll definitely become a famous baker in no time!"

Rui Kamishiro

Will tease you for giving him a surprise pastry.

Definitely eats them as a snack as he builds his inventions and draws his blueprints.

Either that or midnight snack. Let's be honest, he probably only gets 3 hours of sleep at best with how many inventions he makes. Not to mention those ideas of his.

If he ever catches you baking, it can and will turn into a flour fight. Honestly it'll probably be a war that ends with the kitchen being all messy.

Jokingly say "My compliments to the baker." although he truly meant it.

Nene Kusanagi

Will act all shy because she never has anyone give her anything and a surprise at that?

Definitely eats them as a snack while she plays her video games.

If she sees you baking in the kitchen, she'll try her best to help you. Cooking Mama style. Do the Mama accent and you either get a laugh or a jab in the gut.

She either groans or giggles as you make a Minecraft reference while making a cake/cookies.

She probably suggested you make foods from different games/shows. For example, cookie cat from Steven Universe, butterscotch cinnamon pie from Undertale, the cake from Portal, etc etc.

One day you surprised her by making bacon pancakes from Adventure Time for breakfast and her face lit up.

Emu Otori

Congratulations, you've officially become her favorite person.

Will ask you directly if you have any pastries with you. Who can blame her? It's delicious! And if she could she'll eat it all day everyday!

If she sees you baking in the kitchen, she'll be super excited at the thought of helping you. Imagine a child who wanted to help their parents cook/bake with stars in their eyes, yeah, that's her.

Will also suggest you to open a bakery.

Gives you a small kiosk in Phoenix Wonderfully because she thinks that everyone should try your pastries and it would definitely, absolutely, 100%, guarantee, make everyone smile with just a single bite with how delicious it is.

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Another day, another show, another successful day for the troupe.

"You guys did wonderful today, a total of 246 tickets were sold." [Name] stated, looking through the clipboard in his hand.

He's been friends with Tsukasa since childhood who have found joy in the world of theater although not being talented in either singing or dancing, [Name] has become their manager. He's quite grateful for such an opportunity. After all, what's a troupe without a manager?

His carrying nature made him the perfect manager for the troupe and they can't ask for a better manager.

"246 tickets!? That's a lot!" Emu cheered, it's only been a few months since they all started their path towards their dreams and to think they've already made such a progress. "Of course! It's only expected that people wanted to see our show! To see a star!" Tsukasa claims as he smiles proudly at their achievement.

Nene merely smiles as she watches the group being happy at their rising to stardom. "So manager, what's on our schedule for today?" Rui asked curiously.

"Why don't we have a break? It's been a long day."

As the group have a small break, [Name] left to grab something before long he returns with....

"Cookies! You're the best [Name]!" Emu cheered, her eyes sparkles the moment her eyes locked on the small container in their manger's hands. "When did you have the time to do this?" Nene asked.

[Name] puts the container on the table, smiling softly as he watch the group enjoy the cookies he made. He had always enjoy baking and surprising them with fresh pastries had easily became a hobby of his. "I managed." He replied, taking a seat next to Nene.

"Hmm~ You should open a bakery! These are delicious!" Tsukasa compliments as he took another bite of the cookie. "Fufu~ as expected of our manager~" Rui chuckles, eating the pastry with a cheshire grin.

"Honestly, you don't have to.." Nene says, nibbling on the cookie. "But I wanted to~ plus seeing your guys faces every time I gave pastries are always a joy to see~"

Their manager's baking skills had never failed to surprise them. They look absolutely adorable and they're really delicious! The first time he does this, they thought it would just be a one time thing but as time passes. [Name] continues to give them copious amounts of pastries.

They're forever grateful for their manager, not only for the pastries, but for his whole support.

It won't be long until their little theater troupe would make it big and they have their manager to thank them. Who knows? Maybe [Name] might actually start a bakery with Wonderland X Showtime promoting it? Killing two birds with one stone, no?

#project sekai #project sekai x reader #project sekai x male reader #pjsk #pjsk x reader #pjsk x male reader #wonderland x showtime #wxs #wxs tsukasa #wxs rui #wxs emu #wxs nene #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #rui kamishiro #nene kusanagi #x reader #x male reader

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theninth09 · 1 month

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What kind of video games I think Thiam likes, a headcanon list

Theo's Favorites

theo loves souls games and hes incredibly good at them. his favorite used to be bloodborne until elden ring came out. he spent days holed up in his apartment playing it until liam dragged him outside for fresh air. liam played elden ring as well, but theo basically carried him the entire time and solo'd malenia for him

liam suggested that theo should play hollow knight and theo was skeptical at first because of the art style, but ended up really liking it

liam knows about theo having been a star wars nerd as a kid, so his first ever gift to him is jedi: fallen order. theo loves it and buys jedi: survivor (the sequel) as soon as it comes out

theo really likes final fantasy and his favorite is ffvii. liam has never played the games, but he thinks that cloud is really hot (iykyk)

Liam's Favorites

liam has always liked the god of war series, because of the references to greek mythology and the playstyle. gow: ragnarök made him extremely emotional and it immediately became his favorite from the entire series

he likes fighting style games, like mortal kombat and super smash bros. he doesnt mention this often, especially not around new people, because hes afraid that people will comment on his choice of game in relation to his IED. he just genuinely likes to play them, it has nothing to do with his disorder. the first time theo plays against him, theo is so normal about it and doesnt make a single mean comment. it helps liam to immediately relax and just have fun without worrying

funnily enough, liam also likes stealth games. especially assassin's creed (he likes the historical aspects of it) and hitman. theo finds this absolutely hilarious as liam kinda sucks at being stealthy in real life and teases him that he finds theo attractive because theo is so good at being stealthy

Games They Both Like

they tried playing outlast together but had to stop pretty quickly because it was too triggering for both of them (theo got triggered worse, but liam wasnt comfortable either)

they like playing two-player games together (eg: bokura, it takes two, unravel two) and while they argue and bicker the entire time, they're also extremely efficient and get through everything quite fast bc they make such a good team

they both like resident evil and compare the monsters in the games to real monsters they've fought before. liams favorite is re3 and his favorite character is jill, while theos favorite is re4 and his favorite character is ada

both like the legend of zelda. liams favorite is twilight princess (he likes that you can pick up the cats & dogs in it, he finds link, zelda & midna hot and you can turn into a wolf in it) while theos favorite is ocarina of time (liam thinks hes basic for that)

since they both like the spider-man movies and comics, they both also enjoy the games

DnD isnt something either of them is usually interested in, but liam buys baldur's gate three because he got curious. liam romances shadowheart on his first playthrough and theo gets interested after liam finishes it. theo ends up romancing wyll and liam teases him the entire time since theo has to play without picking the evil choices because of that

Games They Play with the Puppy Pack

Mario Kart (they all get extremely competitive)

Phasmophobia (liam and alec scream a lot)

Among Us (the entire puppy pack warns alec that this is not a good idea, but alec persists until theo indulges him. as predicted, theo is way too good at being sneaky & lying and gets banned for life from playing)

Games Alec forces Theo to Play

PlateUp! (alec regrets this almost immediately bc theo gets weirdly intense about it and orders him around)

Minecraft (alec just wants to show off all his buildings and the animals he tamed, but theo ends up helping him actually finish the game)

Dress To Impress (theo "secret fashion icon" raeken always gets first place and it really pisses alec off)

Doki Doki Literature Club! (alec has no idea what its actually about and theo is very unimpressed when they start playing it. alec is extremely shocked and has these teary puppy dog eyes upon the twist and theo laughs at him)

part 2 here

#is this too niche #idk #im right #im sorry but im right #theo raeken #liam dunbar #thiam #thiam headcanons #teen wolf #my ramblings

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cookii-moon · 6 months

Text

Introducing… the Perfectly Neurotypical Ninja!!!

(I had an idea and thought it’d be funny)

our first incredibly neurotypical ninja is…

✨ JAY! ✨

Has zero volume control whatsoever

He can NOT be quiet for the life of him

There is no way he doesn’t have some form of anxiety disorder

Like his entire panic and fear definitely seem like anxiety to me

Has a plushie he still sleeps with for comfort and is emotionally attached to (which is super real of him honestly)

Panic attacks

He DEFINITELY has hyperfixations

Have you just seen him in general

That one short where he just starts running around on the roof

Also that one time he and Kai were supposed to train and got distracted by competition (Actually this could probably apply to all the ninja because they do this type of thing all the time)

Got so hyperfixated on dancing games that he learnt how to dance

I don’t think he can sit still it just doesn’t seem possible to me

(I’m not a Jay fan so I can’t point to much else off the top of my head but we’re all in agreement there’s no way he’s neurotypical right?)

Okay never mind, our FIRSt neurotypical ninja is…

✨ COLE! ✨

Talks to himself. A lot.

No seriously he talks to himself so much

Professional school dropout

Gets along great with animals and people who don’t fit in

Probably has owned a pet. Or five. (Probably a cat or a reptile) (he came around to them eventually and now he loves them) (dogs are too energetic and loud)

Most likely has depression

Definitely has sensory issues there’s no way he doesn’t

That one time he nearly had a breakdown from being overwhelmed. (Points to core shorts)

Dislikes metaphors (canon)

Wears the exact same hoodie without fail in every single episode where he has to wear civilian clothing (I think it’s a comfort thing at this point)

Probably taught himself several different ninja things he had no need to learn (why can he fight with a sword and nunchucks when he never uses either of them outside of a single special) (this also applies to shields and staffs and throwing stars but those are at least practical)

He says it’s to prepare but really he did it for fun

Has somehow not discovered his ninja special interest yet

(he physically can’t do anything else it’s too boring) (even when he’s not ninjaing he needs to practice once a day minimum or else he explodes)

Dances when happy/excited (definitely not a stim)

Immediately starts telling Jay about dancing when he enters the contest in a very excited manner (definitely not infodumping)

Has caused several misunderstandings due to bad social skills (he can NOT read the room for the life of him)

His best friend is Jay.

(even if he’s not autistic there’s no way this guy is neurotypical.)

(these are not the actions of a neurotypical person we’re all in agreement of that right)

Whoops… uh…never mind…our FIRST!!!! Neurotypical ninja…

✨ NYA! ✨

Terrified of failure

Like it haunts her she does NOT want to fail she has an entire arc devoted to it

Has a hard time letting go of things (she holds grudges A LOT)

This also includes things of sentimental value like Samurai X

Change is difficult for her just in general

SUPER stubborn

Definitely has a schedule that she envisions in her head but forgets to tell everyone else

(that short where she planned to spend time with Jay but he was going to the arcade)

Short temper especially on bad days

The more I write this the more I realize how little characterization she actually gets for most of the series

Justice for Nya honestly

(I’m assigning her neurodivergence I don’t care how short this is)

(I think autistic. But spicy.)

(probably also anxiety or OCD)

(do you see the vision)

….Okay so maybe not that one either- Uh… our FIRST!!! Neurotypical !!! Ninja!!!

✨ KAI! ✨

Has anger issues. Probably.

Super impulsive

No like incredibly impulsive. Ultra impulsive.

Craves attention but has really bad self worth issues

Hinges his worth on his powers (not healthy)

Wanted to be useful so badly that he convinced himself he’d get powers if he drop kicked Garmadon (it did not work)

Did I mention anger issues

Wants to be useful so he can protect!!!

That one time he and Jay were supposed to be training and-

Has zero patience

(I don’t know what flavor of neurodivergent he is but he’s neurodivergent somehow)

(once again I don’t pay attention to Kai there’s definitely more)

…Okay so this time for sure. Introducing FOR SURE our FIRST neurotypical ninja….

✨ ZANE! ✨

Do I even need to say anything

The entire episode “Home”

Social skills

Taking things literal

That one canon (?) book where he apparently has flashbacks to the ice emperor (im calling OCD or PTSD on that one Zane)

Also that one time he locked away bad memories in decoded (decoded is canon to me and the reason for that is mainly because it actually references ghost Cole (iirc) which is a miracle)

Yeah I think he has PTSD

that one time he hyperfixated on and roleplayed as a detective and then a pirate

probably more. Maybe.

That one’s a robot he’s disqualified. The FIRST, FOR SURE, NO MISTAKES, neurotypical ninja is…

✨ LLOYD! ✨

The fact he apparently has so much of starfarer memorized that he can nearly win a quiz contest thingy and the only thing that stopped him from doing that was that he hadn’t read a brand new limited edition issue

starfarer in general he is not normal about starfarer

Way too trusting for his own good

I would be more surprised if he didn’t have some sort of disorder considering everything he’s gone through

hes got to have at least something related to his trauma right

(This one is way shorter because. Again. Not a Lloyd fan. but. I think the starfarer thing is enough to push him into probably not neurotypical territory.)

(most kids do not know the entire plot and all the fun facts to a long running comic book series by heart)

Are you kidding me none of them are neurotypical?

Okay ne- what do you mean the last one

there’s those ones over there!!!! *points to Arin, Sora and wyldfyre*

Oh wait they’re also neurodivergent?

…..uuuuugh shows canceled then…. Sigh… Guess I’ll start up the Incredibly Neurodivergent Ninja show instead.

(disclaimer this is a joke)

(but they are all neurodivergent that part isn’t)

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