#it had to be on purpose them retconning her birthday

[unlocked-doors-verse]

Mystery Kids AU: New Changes

Ho boy, somehow I've fallen back into Coraline since the local movie theater decided to premier it again - hence why I decided to talk about my Mystery Kids AU and the updated lore changes because well, I want to be a menace today.

So, to recap from old posts - the chosen fandoms are Danny Phantom, Coraline, Paranorman, and Gravity Falls. All of these do take place post-canon, although Phantom Planet is retconned because- no. For the record, I don't necessarily hate it but it's not really important to my plot.

I'm going to break this down into different sections, so! Let's get started, shall we?

The plot begins with Dipper and Mabel returning to Gravity Falls, Oregon, for the summer and due to a camp program happening - well, it leads to the others becoming part of said camp, arriving to the sleepy town where shenanigans ensue. Dipper and Mabel are both nearly sixteen now, as of course - their birthday is near the end of summer break. Things start off as very typical to the weirdness that is Gravity Falls, and introducing the characters to one another. Though about halfway through, when the main storyline picks up, we're also given a glimpse of the main villains... who I unfortunately cannot mention right now because that would defeat the purpose.

I do intend for the series to be a lot darker than the original movies and/or tv shows because that does defeat the purpose, so this is your fair warning of what to expect for the Mystery Kids/Unlocked Doors verse. I am hoping to transform it into a proper series, exploring the Main Bad Guys across the four franchises but we'll see what happens with the first installation!

(Under-the-Cut Information)

Character Introductions

Dipper Pines: 15-16 years old. After the defeat of Bill Cipher, Dipper and his twin sister Mabel returned home to Piedmont, California. His intrigue and fascination with the weirdness and abnormal continued to get stronger - in light of what went down during the events of Weirdmaggedon, Dipper follows in Grunkle Ford's footsteps. He's fallen out of the preteen anxiety he had in his preteen years, even if it does little to help his own paranoia of the return of Bill Cipher. Dipper began keeping his own journals, adding onto them and hoping to one day become a paranormal researcher.

Mabel Pines: 15-16 years old. Mabel Pines is the twin sister to Dipper. Unlike her brother, Mabel is known for her artistic and creative side - she dreams of the day she can make it big as an artist, or even simply becoming a teacher. She's not picky to be honest! Mabel's hyperactive, cheerful personality continues to shine even now; though she still has dreams of what happened during Weirdmaggedon. Even then, she's just looking to have a great time in Gravity Falls, not having the slightest clue of what awaits her and her friends.

Norman Babcock: 14 years old. Norman is a bit younger than Dipper and Mabel, simply due to his birthdate, but even then - he's matured quite a bit since the events that went down in his hometown of Blithe Hollow, Massachusetts. Norman can still come off as a little awkward around new people, but he does have a good heart and does his best to help wherever he can. He has fully embraced his ability to see ghosts and helps them cross over.

Danny Phantom: 16 years old. Danny is the eldest out of the kids. Following the defeat of Pariah Dark and a few other select baddies, things slowly returned back to normal - Amity Park became a little more accepting and Danny's role as protector flared even more, but of course... there are still other threats brewing under the surface though I'm sure they won't be much of an issue for Phantom.

Coraline Jones: 15 years old. Coraline's life slowly settled after the incident and became closer with Wybie Lovat. She has hoped to forget about what happened, attempting to bury it down (and no one would blame her, it was quite the traumatizing experience-) but an unexpected summer camp program to Gravity Falls, Oregon is about to change everything in ways she didn't expect. She's got a spunk to her now - still just as sassy as she was in her younger years.

Wyborne "Wybie" Lovat: 15 years old. Wybie is Coraline's best friend now; the two became practically inseparable after what happened in the Pink Palace - though more specifically, the wall. He still doesn't know what to make of it, but he isn't nearly as spooked by all of it as Coraline. Wybie continues to be kooky and eccentric and might just be having a tiny puppy crush on Coraline, though he's never going to admit it. Who knows what might come of their summer camp in Gravity Falls?

Other characters will be in this, of course but they're not nearly as important as the ones I already listed - or who knows, maybe I have plans I can't share just yet ;))

Lore Infodumping

Ho boy, I can only share so much because weeelll - I will not be able to share spoilers, but here goes nothing.

Gravity Falls, Oregon, and other likeminded towns became natural hotspots for weirdness once the barrier was broken - of course, this is canon but people just sort of accepted this as part of the everyday normal. With cities like Amity Park however, and the fact Danny is in fact a superhero, this becomes a different can of worms. Much like one of my other projects, it isn't out of the ordinary for the hotspot towns and even 'hero cities' to keep to themselves though it remains unclear why.

Gravity Falls became a very popular tourist spot, eventually creating the summer camp program. Though no one talks about Weirdmaggedon, preferring to keep it that way in the hopes of warding off bad energy and superstitions associated with it. The Pines are still an oddity amongst the residents, but they came to be respected - especially now with how they managed to stop Bill Cipher. Ford continued recording information about his adventures in new journals, using it as a pastime now more than his job. Stan and him return home during the summers to spend time with their great niece and nephew.

I genuinely don't have much to say about the Pink Palace or Blithe Hollow since things just sort of went back to normal. As for Amity Park, it's a bit different as it became liminal and just has more ghost activity; like I mentioned earlier - Phantom Planet has yet to happen, or won't happen, I don't know which. It turned into a hotspot of its own and the citizens have been marked by ghostly activity (not that they have powers-). Anyway,

Earth as a whole has changed a lot and who knows what come next?

I'm going to be changing the blog url into unlocked-doors-verse since Secret Origins is now separate from this! You are more than welcome to send me asks and/or interact with the blog, and I will be providing headcanons and more information in a following post! Obviously I can't share many spoilers though there's going to be a lot more for this universe. As of right now, this is not a character blog - it's more for the AU itself, BUT you can ask me information about the characters and how everything works.

Until next time, my lovely readers!

[miilkyrolls]

a finch rambleshit of id2's finale

now that id2 is fully released for vip and is on its way to being wide released. i have some thoughts in the form of a tag "rambleshit" noun: a long winded, strings of thought, typically about a choices book made by finch

minor spoilers, BUT JUST IN CASE

okay let's get my final feelings about the book/ last couple of chapters out the way. i've needed these last few days for 2 reasons: one, the last chapter came out on my birthday and i was literally sitting in the parking lot waiting for my reservation while watching the Himeme playthrough , and two, i needed to digest just how much exposition lore was dropped in the last 2-3 chapters that to a point I felt overwhelmed ! Anyways, overall score 8.5/10. it was a good book story wise, however, it had SO MUCH RETCON and plot holes to a point that i felt like id2 could've been it's own standalone, set apart from id1 (kinda like untamable vs unbridled). there's a few i could explain away, for example, the concept that was the entire point of book one about how vampires get sick from even the tiniest bit of fellow vampire blood, but we have an entire ceremony of vampires doing the exact opposite? or the scene where cas bites mc's lip and licks the blood away. now, imo this could be explained as A) the vampires are just biting for the symbolic purpose of the ritual OR they're injecting venom without drinking mc's blood (which kinda makes less sense then the former but anyways) and B) Cas just doing shit for the sexy thrill or whatever which i can accept

what I CAN'T explain away is things like..mc having powers that everyone just..accepts(?!) with no issue but with cas it's seen as some type of anomaly..? claims "the leylines can grant special abilities" but why only cas and mc? why not the oh idk leaders of the covens? or the elders or even just pull a warrior cats "Power of Three" situation and give gabe, cas and mc powers that's because they have a special destiny or are reincarnations or something freaky deaky about them being polyam or being from different covens IDK SOMETHING! and before someone mentions it, i know cas is a more direct witch descendant then the other vamps, but considering we know nothing about her family, if we go with the assumption that cas is last preforming witch since great grandmama constance, that still wouldn't explain why her powers get awoken now? like please for the love of god correct me if i'm forgetting something but the only connection we have is

cas gets cut from the business card, lennox's face morphs (again, odd ability cause cas's powers seem to be exclusively nature related and premonition doesn't seem to match that, unless she has mc's type of premonition from the leylines but that wouldn't make sense either cause mc's manifests in out of body, future seeing, while cas's manifestation is more like actual intention sensing *cough, they should technically switch their ability names cough*, the cut never heals unless cas let's the power out/or is happy and gets worse when she's upset. so when you think of it, there's really nothing that directly correlates with the leylines that connects it. maybe it's because the leylines come from creators and witches are split descendants of vampires so whenever the ley lines are getting fucked with it affects witches too?? idk

a few more unaddressed issues are but not limited too: what beef cas and gabe have in the branding room (i'll get back to that one later), libby having partial memory, (same thing as above), if vampires can sleep, how in the first book G+C can hear us murmuring their names from miles away but we can't hear cas screaming in the woods, having vampire sight but can't straining to see that pile of bones in the dark in the back of the cave etc, WHY LEWYN IS STILL NEVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR KILLING HIS OWN COVEN MEMBERS??

that's my biggest issue with id2, there's so much guess-timating on w/ info and lore that would be fun to theorize or hc in a standalone but in an ongoing series it creates more headaches and others are plain plotholes. i think id would've been more consistent if they spent more time explaining the lore of WHY things are instead of WHAT things are, you know?

now lastly, here are my id3 theories/ hopes:

libby is a witch. that's the only explanation we have for why she acts so odd all book + why her memories are the most intact despite her not doing anything to awaken them like for mc's mom did

gas's beef with each other is explained. i saw someone hc that the reason gas hate each other beyond the typical Clement vs Venandi bs is because they're exes and while i would love the angst of exploring that + it would explain their sudden intrigue (if u choose the poly route end) to possibly get together + it would be so carnally delicious if we have some real slow burn enemies to frienemies to lovers out here but i doubt it. however their beef seems to stem from before mc came into the picture purely because of how gabe talks and treats cas in the first few chapters of book1 and from the branding room scene (my hc/ theory however: in the branding room premium scene, g+c talk briefly about a situation where gabe "was playing the hero", cas was "scaring humans" and as a result got punished likely by branding. my theory is that while as a human, gabe's grandmother was a fluked hunt by cas, with gabe protecting his nan, this sparks sarah to investigate into vampires more which leads to the covens trying to kill her. so gabe hates cas for nearly killing her and consequently getting him turned and cas hates gabe for ruining her hunt / giving her first brand)

gabe getting powers. we know gabe is kinda a literature nerd and can read specific vampire languages that seems like pretty rare ability for a newer turned vamp so maybe that could be his. idk it just feels odd that cas and mc have powers but gabe doesn't (even if reading super well is for NERDS 🙄/j maybe they can make it fun and unique to him)

witches are absolutely the villain of the next book, there's no doubt in my mind but since it seems like witches were playing both sides of the field of vamps v hunters, it's safe to assume we might befriend a teenage witch (possibly libby??) and we have to fight with against evil witches??? 🤷🏾‍♀️

more like point 4.2 but we could also possibly meet cas's family or even parents! while its safe to assume them being dead is what made cas an orphan, its pixelberry and there's a good chance they'd bring out that a random plot twist like with gabriel and lennox being cousins like that out of the blue andddd the heirloom book cas has from her parents looks suspiciously like the grimoire astoria has🤔

multi pov: if id3 is assumingely the last id book, and they're going to keep teasing gas, i would love see that all exclusively from their pov's (ik it's unlikely pb would suddenly change the format of a book at the supposedly end of the series but these books need a new element or it's going to feel like a repeat of the last 2 books)

gas. self explanatory. they need to kiss regardless of which route you choose. idk how or why or when but it needs to happen

these mofo's will graduate human high school. yeah that very forgotten aspect of immortal desires is that it's a TEEN supernatural, so we need to pop in some extra credits or something and graduate since they're all seniors/ "18" (in my hc cas is a super senior and is like 19 when she was turned but anyways)

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

ya kno ive been thinking abt elysium everlasting’s shift from depicting elysia as a “mysterious but mostly benevolent anomaly w unknowable motives,” to “she was the best of us, perfect in all the ways that matter,” and i realized; that is an awful lot like how people start talking abt someone at their funeral.

given that ee is a memorial built outta aponias memories of elysia (and supplemented by the sims memories i assume) in the wake of her death, i dont see it as much of a stretch for that being the reason for the shift in tone. now if that was the interpretation of the text intended by mhy, they should have been more clear on that (if i remember correctly, there were a few allusions to rose tinted lenses, but nothing to indicate that the reader was looking thru them); but as a fix-it headcanon, i think it works quite well.

so the er sims would be more true-to-life to the people they were, while ee is more abt the lasting impact elysia had on the rest of the flamechasers.

You see. I would love that. If they ACKNOWLEDGED IT.

So full agree with you really, it would patch a lot of the yikes and be angsty and I love the concept, but... they just. Didn't do that. They never acknowledge that the Elysia Mei brings back isn't the real one, and none of them admit grief might have warped their memory of Ely. Nothing. Even in the birthday event, they're just cheesy about her.

They also blatantly lie about her past actions (example: Elysia claiming she's only ever told one lie, when she lies multiple times through recollections....... girl) and they stop acknowledging how outrageous she can be. In ER, you have Elysia asking Raven to forgive her, and if you say no, she asks it again, but with both choices saying yes. She will not let you say no to her. Your free will is an illusion.

❤️❤️❤️❤️ You love Elysia forever.

That's creepy!! And it's great!! It's the game acknowledging her forcefulness!! Elysia in ER, at times, is the :) emoji. And that's something I love about her. "Mysterious but mostly benevolent anomaly with unknowable motives", indeed.

Meanwhile, in EE, they give a little nod to her stealing Mobius's badge, make a little joke about it, but if you haven't read the recollection you won't realize it because they do NADA to acknowledge it, explain why she did it etc. They just confirm that they didn't retcon that happening and Mobius is the butt of the joke, but Elysia smiles throught it, :D, wow!! Okay so what was the purpose of that?

Deafening silence. Will we ever know?? Is it a dropped plot thread about Elysia mind controlling everyone into knowing her like MEI's meeting seemed to imply???? Like, they even insist that she totally passed the test in a legit way, when it was implied before that she'd snuck in with that very same badge (to bypass background checks?).

What's the POINT of all that setup if the truth is that she's a perfect little angel who was so pure and could never do any wrong?

They didn't! Even! Let! Her! Cry!! COME ON!!!!

I'm not mad because I hate Elysium Everlasting— I had a lot of fun for most of it, actually. No, I'm mad because I love Elysia and I feel like they were cowards and tried to veer off her intended characterization at the last minute because they were scared of backlash.

This is me right now. EDIT: Also her theme is called Sweet Trap. Where is the deception!!!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TWISTED ANGSTY FOOD FOR ME

[hon1eblog]

Life in Plastic: Growing up as a Barbie Girl in the Real World

“There’s nothing stronger than the connection between a girl and the doll world she made up in her head.” - Me, 2023

         Barbies were a lonely girl’s favorite toy. I only played Barbies with one particular friend because we had a mutual understanding– she played with her dolls, I played with mine. It was all made up on the spot, but we had time to plan out bigger events and postpone things like weddings until the next time we saw each other. Neither of us would ever make each other do something out of character. It was like parallel play, but with a higher level of awareness. This is not to say if you didn’t do this you weren’t doing it right; there’s no right way to play. In fact, I’ve always thought I had done it wrong. I put too much time into my imagination, to the point where I’d obsessively think about my other worlds, taking me from the real one. If that sounds strange or scary to you, then this might not be the essay for you.

Barbies were my introduction to the conscious mind. It sounds dramatic, but I truly believe I became sentient when I was able to project my thoughts and feelings onto a piece of plastic and recognize that they were still mine. The dolls held my secrets to my universe, they spoke a language only I knew. The older I got, the more complex my playtime became and at some point I realized I wasn’t just playing, I was creating a storyline, a universe with laws and constraints[1]. My dolls had consistent characteristics; they evolved from husks into flesh cut from my own skin. Most were heavily inspired from movies and TV show characters, but soon took on a new shape. I had over fifty Barbies at one point and each had a name, a purpose, and a home in a giant plastic bucket. On very rare occasions were Barbies retconned, donated, or thrown out after being mauled to pieces by my dog. An arm or leg missing never bothered me much, as long as I could keep the story pushing. I was also only vaguely aware of what death and loss felt like; meaning, I didn't know how to play that out so it just never happened ‘on screen’. But I was so deeply attached that when it got taken away from me, I mourned the loss of the little girl in me. My childhood had been seized from me before I was ready to let go. Would I ever have been ready to let go? I played with them up until around 14, despite the subtle comments from my grandmother that I “needed friends my own age”. I had friends my own age, but they weren’t like me. They didn’t understand me, but Barbies could because they were me and I was them. I was always Barbie and Barbie was always me.

But this wasn’t just a long, on-going TV show I was producing in my head; it was a way for me to process things. I could act out scenes with dolls and not be misunderstood because I was in control of the narrative. I didn’t have to explain myself to my dolls; they knew what I meant the first time. And I knew who I was by looking at them— who they had become over the years. How their characters changed, how their hair length changed, how their clothing changed, how they were broken and put back together with tape. The stories got sadder, deeper, and harder to explain to even to my closest friend[2]They grew with me because they were an extension of me. I was always Barbie and Barbie was always me.

I was an existential kid. This is not meant to glorify it, I am simply stating what is true. I started dreading my birthday after I turned ten when I realized I would now always be in the double digits and probably wouldn’t reach the triple digits. I cried on my birthdays. I cried when I graduated elementary school. I cried when I graduated middle school. I cried when I graduated High school. I weeped when I graduated college. Growing older has always felt like a punishment. Each year had more growing pains than the last. Before I even knew women had an expiration date, I was terrified of running out of time.

I never felt like I was enough. I was never the best at anything. I was never known for anything. Maybe I was a product of my time, but with every passing year there was less of a chance of me becoming the “dancer/singer/archer/artist/respectable human that’s ONLY __ years old!” The older you get, the less impressive that statement becomes. I missed my window of opportunity to become a child prodigy. You don’t get on The Ellen Show by doing something that’s typical for your age. You don’t win America’s Got Talent by being ‘kind of okay’ at something. What value do I have if I’m just average? If I am just a background character in my own life, why should I celebrate my birthday? Why should I celebrate being a girl? Being a woman, of all things?

For a very long time I didn’t feel like I had a proper girlhood because I wasn’t into makeup, I wasn’t into boys, so I didn’t feel connected to my straight friends on the level they were (or at least pretended to be). I felt like I was doing something wrong or was missing something very obvious. Like everyone was a part of this secret club where they understood what being a girl meant. I only knew what being a girl meant in relation to what not being a girl meant— it meant being different from my brothers but not quite like my mom either. It meant being made from dust and ribs, being made to suffer for sins I had no part in committing. It meant accepting that as the truth and not complaining because that’s just how things are and I should be so lucky to even be allowed to bleed. Being a woman meant being in pain, being lonely, and not being able to talk about it. I want to talk about it.

But girls don’t want to talk about that at sleepovers. They want to talk about field hockey. They wanted to talk about boys that never even looked at me, never mind knew my name. They wanted to sing songs I didn’t know the words to by bands I didn’t know. They wanted to watch TV shows I wasn’t allowed to watch in my Catholic household. They talked about feelings that I couldn’t feel because I was made of plastic. But I could be anyone because I was no one, so I smiled and nodded along.

I knew at a very young age I was different, but not in the cool way that gets you famous. In the isolating way that makes you feel like none of your friends understand you. As a young kid I had lots of different friend groups because I could adapt and mold myself to blend in. I tried a lot of different hobbies; horseback riding, gymnastics, softball, band, drawing. I could be anyone I wanted because I was nobody. I remember sitting with my counselor when I was in middle school and telling her I didn’t know how to make friends because I didn’t know who I was. The most useless phrase in existence–“just be yourself!” isn’t helpful when you don’t know who you are or who you want to be. I’ve walked around my whole life feeling like a fraud, like a caricature of a real person, a star in The Truman Show. I wasn’t real, and none of my friends were. Everything they knew about me was lies I sold them. Every conversation was one I rehearsed in my head hours before. I was made of plastic, my body hollowed out to be filled with whatever I could find to fill the cavity. I was entirely inhuman, only an alien pretending to be one of them. I was lonely and homesick for a place that didn’t exist. I was always Barbie and Barbie was always me.

Throughout my life, I have made art pieces depicting myself as anything but human because that's how I felt.[3] In high school I saw myself as my mental illness, as the representation of everything I would never become. I was spiteful, disenchanted, and convinced that I was disgraced by those closest to me. I destroyed everything I touched— ripping it apart with my hands so I could feel it between my fingers, because I needed to hold it to know it was real and not just in my head. I called myself a monster, a sinner, a caged tiger that would kill if given the chance. I could be anyone because I was no one, so I destroyed myself from the inside.

I cried watching Barbie because I saw myself over and over again in the faces of the people around me. The faces of the women around me who saw themselves in Barbie. Are we all so lost in this world that we need to be told that it’s okay to not know who you are? How badly have we been broken that we can’t imagine a world where we don't have to worry about aging, running out of time, deciding our careers? Are we destined to always feel this lost and disconnected from each other? Have I gone through life believing everyone else knew who they were when really they were faking it just as much as I was? Have they always been Barbie, too?

I left that theater knowing my brother did not feel the way I did. I know a lot of people don’t feel the way I do, and I wish I could be like them. I can never justify my desire to return to the earth and become dust and bones again; maybe in my truest form I’ll finally understand what it’s like to be a woman. Maybe I’ll finally know what the world expects of me. Maybe I’ll speak their language and know what they’re feeling. I’ll know the songs they sing, and the games they play, and I’ll be able to celebrate being a woman, celebrate my birthday without my tears putting out the candles. Maybe I’ll become human— not a monster, a sinner, or a caged tiger.

[1] I’d joke about being the God of my dolls, but my mom would never approve of the blasphemy. I hope she reads this and doesn’t blame herself for not playing with me. I hope she reads this and finally understands why I cried so hard and for so long when she gave away all my Barbies that day I got too sick to help run the yard sale. I thought maybe it was her way of punishing me for saying I would never have a daughter to pass them down to. I forgive you, but I still needed to write this. I still need people to know I am human underneath it all.

[2] Everyone wants a doll that looks like them. Maybe that’s why I used red and pink markers to draw lines on my doll’s legs. I don’t know how to explain that to people without them becoming scared of me. I was only 13.

[3] I still feel this way sometimes, but I don’t hate myself for it anymore. I think I am misunderstood in the way that tall people were mistaken for giants in the Bible, or hallucinations were mistaken for visions from God.

[ifeveristoday]

TIL Buffy Summers and Dolly Parton have the same birthday.

[flowervolcano]

Moon Knight thoughts from a comic fan;

I get it, people hate us comic readers for nitpicking because MCU tends to alter too much, but you have to understand that we have been reading and loving these characters for decades so it’s a little upsetting to see the thing you love about a character be altered for the sake of the MCU (when a proper/accurate adaptation is possible, MCU opts not to do so) and I understand, the MCU is meant to be a “fresh take” bring something new, I haven’t really expected comic accuracy since 2016, but sometimes I want it when it doesn’t make much sense for the changes (I’ve mentioned this before on Taskmaster, I wouldn’t even care if Taskmaster was a woman as long as she had the same attitude as Tony did in the comics that would’ve been so funny to have a cocky woman thinking she could beat everyone with her cool abilities it would’ve been a cool approach but noooo) so before you decide “ugh this annoying comic stan is going to cry their eyes out because MCU isn’t my precious comic book!!! You are damn right, it’s not, and it doesn’t always need to be, there are some aspects in comics that NEED to be changed and adjusted, due to times changing and all of that, there are some pretty poorly aged moments in comics that need to be addressed and fixed and the MCU can help “fix/retcon” it. But please, it will always be valid to dislike something just because it’s not like the source material, we have been here before, we liked the said media for the purpose of what it originally was, changing it too much makes the characters unfamiliar to us, the things we were attached to are gone forever and we have to face that with MCU stans screaming at us to get over it, and it’s a very invalidating feeling. I hate being told that I’m stupid for not enjoying it because it’s not what I wanted, I am a fan, I’m a consumer, if I pay for a movie at the theater I am expecting to enjoy it, if I don’t it’s my business and I get to complain. I’m never going to get up in others posts/faces for people who love the MCU and tell them “you are so stupid this isn’t anything like the REAL MOON KNIGHT— you are so stupid for thinking this is cool when he isn’t even written properly like the comics” because I am not that kind of person its an opinion at best I want people to like it, I honestly wish I enjoyed it like everyone else. I mean for crying out loud I have wanted a Moon Knight series since I was 16 years old! (I’m now 22) I was so excited, and this series came out on my birthday (March 30th) so you can imagine the excitement I had, made me feel like the ultimate Moon Knight fan. And then the time came I turned it on, and it wasn’t what I was expecting, but I didn’t even know what I was expecting, so I was simply eager to see how it unfolds, this is the MCU’s take, their vision I wanna see what’s in store, but there were things that were already not sitting right with me and let me explain them really simply before this post gets too long, these were my biggest complains since the start of the series that never changed.

- Marc Spector is Jewish, I was worried from the start since Wanda Maximoff was white washed and had her religion erased that they wouldn’t write in his religion at all. I understand it’s the first episode so there’s plenty of time to dive into the series and get to know him and his religion in the future, so honestly I was giving them the benefit of doubt. But they didn’t pull through, I feel like they treated his religion too much of a cameo than they did for anything else. That has always been a very integral part of his character. So to ignore it for most of the series was weird for me, I couldn’t digest it. And then when they finally placed the smallest little nod to it, it felt almost damaging, they really did the bare minimum for him and his religion. And it didn’t work for me. I’m not Jewish, but I am religious and I would’ve hated to see my own religion that was important to a character and myself be treated the way I saw it displayed on the screen that day. My heart goes out to everyone who is Jewish and has to deal with the horrible comments I’ve seen across the internet these last few weeks, I will never unsee those things you all said and did to anyone who tried to speak out about the bad representation.

- Jake Lockley: I know there was many of you who don’t know him, who told us to shut up for him not appearing and worst off insulting his mustache. Like that’s a deal breaker for me. I need that mustache, some of you in this fanbase honestly scare me with how quickly you will fight anyone who actually likes the source material. If you can’t like Jake Lockley you need to leave. I won’t forgive how the MCU went about to portraying him, it was really stupid. No I do not believe he’s an evil alter because they don’t exist, and I’m hoping Marvel isn’t stupid enough to think they can pull that off and get away with it. They better not be. If we get to see Moon Knight again and they do that… I don’t know what I will do. It’s really damaging seeing everyone depict him as a violent, manipulative womanizer. If anyone who said this read a comic please tell me which one it was, if it was the Bemis one please DM your address; I will show you violence— there are so many of you who just want Jake to be evil or believe he’s violent and unlikeable, and someone said he needs to go to hell- never in my entire life as a Moon Knight fan would I have ever expected Jake Lockley to be hated more than the villains they faced. It’s downright insulting!

- Lack of supporting Moon Knight cast: no Gena, hardly any Crawley (it’s not the same without Jake and no one knows it) Marlene (Layla you are fine I get what’s happening but I still miss Marlene) Frenchie, where— where are they?! Why aren’t they here?? It felt so empty without my MK family. It was upsetting and I couldn’t stand the lack of the supporting cast. I mean not even a small nod to anyone there— didn’t feel like Moon Knight to me. There’s a chance to add them in later but idk just feels like a waste now.

- The handling of DID. Why did they never explicitly tell the audience and give them an understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder? Do you know how much that could’ve helped a lot of people who still think it’s a made up disorder or that Khonshu created them? It’s not- I have been arguing my case for weeks about Moon Knight and his disorder to… well it feels like a wall. The people I’ve had to say use terms “personalities” and “evil personalities” and overall some ableist nonsense I’ve endured these last few weeks. I’m always very mindful about terminology and how I discuss mental disorders. It’s a serious matter that shouldn’t be joked about. There are lots of memes and wow it’s a mess out here. But whatever, I find I’m complaining more about the fan base than the series. But in the end it’s the whole crew of Moon Knight who have caused this. Giving a very good explanation on what DID is and how it affects Marc could’ve been so good, would’ve been insightful for new viewers and those who are not familiar with the disorder, also I wanted to see it done similar to in the comics but they wanted to pull a whole “mystery” on us which I didn’t enjoy. I didn’t like how they chose to approach DID in the slightest. This also has a play in why I dislike Jake’s absence, they have always looked after each other and worked well together rarely did they fight over who got to front either. I don’t know I didn’t enjoy the constant battle between Marc/Steven as it felt really odd for me, I’m not the biggest expert on DID I know it can different between patient to patient but it just wasn’t something I felt was good representation, I didn’t like how they treated it like Steven wasn’t real in the end or that there was an accusation that the other was fake/a hassle to the other. From my interpretation alters are supports for the individual to help them in serious or mentally difficult situations that the main cannot handle, they are there to help with communication, trauma and support, I never understood it as then fighting like two siblings with a video game controller. But I do not know everything and would love to be educated on the matter and understand, so please tell me if you have DID/are a DID expert if this rep is good and I need to cool it. I didn’t like it but if it’s good rep I can’t argue, it’s not my place to say.

- I didn’t like Steven, yes it’s because he is nothing like his comic counter part and I absolutely do not need to explain myself further.

- Everything boils down to it’s not my Moon Knight. But I’m glad you all enjoyed it, I wish I did too. While it wasn’t awful that I wanted to gauge my eyeballs out, it wasn’t what I wanted and I do feel some self entitlement, actually more so now that it is over because I’m seeing millions of posts/tweets about how much everyone loved it and that’s fine, but it’s that select few who are purposefully trashing/harassing us comic fans and Jewish people online, that is what sparked this whole post. I couldn’t take another post without wanting to argue. Instead I wrote this, because I don’t wanna be that guy, the person who starts fights because I can’t just enjoy something and suddenly don’t want others to have fun. I wanna have fun too, but I wanna be heard and respected, that it’s okay to have disliked it, I’m not wrong just different. I wouldn’t have even broke down and wrote this if it wasn’t for the latter of this fanbase. I was simply going to remain silent on this whole series and stubbornly ignore it’s existence. But it won’t leave any time soon.

If you made it this far I wanna thank you for reading, and apologize if I said anything that just hurt you. I don’t wanna be a cruel individual, I simply wanted to state my feelings. Hope you all have a wonderful year and if you enjoyed Moon Knight (2022) cheers to you!!

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (April 11th-16th)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After the Truth episode occurs, Luka will either not appear nor be talked about(not even by Marinette, Juleka, Sass, or Anarka) at all, or, if he does appear, he'll avoid Marinette like the Black Plague. Guess who's fault it'll be(Kagami will still appear and be on good terms with Adrien, though, since anything that makes Marinette happy needs to be either ruined or gotten rid of, while anything that makes her miserable needs to stay around just to be rubbed into her face.).

I s2g if they have Adrien and Kagami patch things up immediately just to make Marinette feel awkward--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The idea that Nino's hat is a keepsake from his late brother comes up during an episode where it inevitably gets damaged and/or destroyed. Marinette is somehow responsible/blamed for this, and/or is forced to try and repair it regardless of feasibility, while being guilt-tripped/ridden every inch of the way. Bonus points for Adrien making some clueless comment about buying a replacement and STILL being treated as more empathetic to Nino's feelings even while ignoring them.

“Bonus” if everyone pressures her over the hat, which eventually leads to Marinette realizes that it can’t be fixed to be the exact same way, so she hides it and lies about it, leading to the episode blaming her for hiding things from her “totally understanding friends” (who are suddenly “totally understanding” and are only upset that she lied to them/”thought so lowly of them”) instead of her friends for making her feel like she had to be perfect.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: A Sleeping Beauty-inspired akuma will ensnare Ladybug, 'forcing' Chat Noir to kiss her awake. While Adrien/Chat naturally claims that he would 'never take advantage of his lady', he is openly gleeful at the prospect and taunts her afterwards, complete with a call back to Oblivio as he tells her to 'check the LadyBlog' to find out what happened. Her dismay over this is played entirely for laughs.

*flashbacks to the “jokes” in “Prime Queen”*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Just like in countless Salt Fics, Alya will get upset at Ladybug for claiming that it's 'too dangerous' for her to be Rena Rouge anymore after Miracle Queen. Regardless of what she does/how she lashes out, Marinette will be held 100% responsible for the fallout, with Su-Han criticizing her for selecting Alya/the others in the first place AND for 'allowing' their identities to be exposed.

That’s what you get for trusting people, Marinette (apparently).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will expose more Miraculous-related secrets on the LadyBlog, such as posting the identities of the heroes who were 'already outed' by Miracle Queen. Marinette will be blamed for this, with Su-Han reading her the riot act for every single choice she's made.

And also, Alya will get no flack for this because “she’s a journalist!! she’s just doing what she’s supposed to do!”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After spending most of the season taking the piss out of Marinette at every available opportunity, Su-Han will start warming up to her just in time to be taken out of the equation by something like Alya posting another 'big scoop' on her blog revealing his existence to the villains. Marinette will be left with even less support and all of the guilt, while Alya learns absolutely nothing from the experience because why would she?

Considering “Truth,” I just automatically presume that characters who support Marinette lovingly/unconditionally will either be abused or kicked to the curb.

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: "Queen Banana" will be like typical episode with Chloe akumatization. 90% Chloe drama and angst, 10% akumatized Chloe (and probably 0% sense)

Show, I’m begging you, just let this character’s focus die already. We are SO tired...

Anonymous said:

didnt need burrow: the show ends with hawkmoth (now shadowmoth i guess) being defeated, heavy implications that the LS will be canon, but no solid proof, any other plot holes disappear in the cheery end music and all fans are left annoyed at the open ending filled with plot holes (bonus: That Guy says smin like "you would know if you watched carefully" to anyone that asks wtf happened)

Fun for us love square salters at least so there’s that? :P

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Trixx wants to return to Alya despite the danger/her past exposure, and ignores Marinette's concerns, leaving/reuniting with Alya over her protests. This is either played as 'It's fine, and Marinette should have trusted Alya more' or 'It's not fine, and it's all Marinette's fault for trusting Alya in the first place and letting Trixx get so attached'. Or both.

Astruc would totally use the opportunity to brag about the whole, “She’s already taken!” line in “Truth” being foreshadowing.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Bunnix reveals that there is an alternate, 'better' future in which Lila never worked with Hawkmoth and became a heroine instead. The turning point was, naturally, that Ladybug never called her out for lying/stealing from Adrien. (Possibly because Adrien never snooped in the safe in this timeline, yet it's still depicted as Marinette's fault.) May couple with confirming she's the future Hawkmoth and that it's all Mari's fault the heroes are still fighting her years later.

Which means that Chat makes the “reversible” mistakes (i.e: Cataclysming Bunnyx’s miraculous) while Ladybug makes the “permanent” ones.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette/Ladybug will get accused of being a selfish glory hound who needs to learn how to share the credit and 'be a team player'... after Adrien/Chat slacks off during a fight and refuses to help. Bonus points if this is tied into the exposed heroes' predicament somehow, implying that the REAL reason she won't give them 'their' Miraculi back is that she's selfish/short-sighted/not good at working with others/insert other bullshit excuse here.

T_T

I’m so tired.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will do something unbelievably selfless and self-sacrificing, only to promptly be slammed by the narrative and treated as though her decision was incredibly selfish.

Honestly you could just ad lib that.

“Marinette will do [something positive], only to promptly be slammed by the narrative and treated as though her decision was [negative].”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will pressure, belittle and berate Marinette until she breaks and agrees to give up being Ladybug/the Guardian. This is naturally treated as the worst thing she could possibly do, with everyone (including Su-Han) ripping into her for it. There is no equivalent of Plagg's 'I've had many holders, but nobody can replace you, Adrien' shilling, beyond Marinette being informed that she MUST continue and deal with her many inadequacies by becoming BETTER. She has no choice.

“You’re the worst Ladybug!”

“Okay I’ll stop being Ladybug.”

“HOW DARE YOU”

“?!?!?!”

Anonymous said:

Don’t need Burrow to know that the writers will retcon Marinette allowing Adrien to BORROW her lucky charm so that Marinette actually GAVE it to him instead.

Bonus: of course, the birthday scarf issue/secret is never addressed. RIP in piece, Marinette gift number xxx0

Technically, this has already happened even back in “Befana,” so I don’t count it. Adrien has said that Marinette gave him that lucky charm forever.

Definitely adding that scarf one though.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get Love Square scenes (shipping fuel) in the next episode (even though Maribug and Adrichat just broke up with Luka and Kagami).

I mean, we got love square shipping fuel in the Adrimi and Lukanette episodes, so :|

I’ve just come to expect inappropriate timing at this point.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a future episode Chat Noir will be even worse than he was in Lies and still be portrayed sympathetically. I don't know how you can get that low, but I have faith that the writers will be able to pull it off and that's not a good thing

“I don't know how you can get that low“

they’ll find a way, I’m sure

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Kagami will become an antagonist/team up with Shadow Moth post-Adrimi breakup for the plot twist "the main villain has been in the show all along." ((This is based on the end card for Lies. I really hope they don't do this because Kagami is one of the only reasons I'm still watching the show.))

I’d only be here for that if her endgoal is getting Luka and Marinette as far away from the plot as possible.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We STILL don't know how the Peacock Miraculous got damaged and how Emilie Agreste fell sick. Bonus points, we find out in the season/series finale or on social media.

Double bonus if Astruc claims that the decision is good and they did it on purpose (probably to keep people talking).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe debuts as the new Bee holder on the same episode Chloé is akumatized.

I’m 100% expecting Chloe to be salty at all the adoration that Zoe gets.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: if Adrien is ever in the wrong about something, it will only be for about five minutes and it will ultimately be blamed on Marinette.

Marinette: *breathes*

writers: Yes! Something we can blame on her!

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: The relationship between the Couffaines and Jagged will not be explored. They might perform a song together and that's all, Luka forgives Jagged for abandoning him (his daddy issues just magically disappear so he doesn't bring it up anymore) while Juleka doesn't interact with Jagged at all

I’m torn between, “Luka will basically never appear again,” and, “Luka will suddenly appear much more often now that he’s no longer a ‘threat’ to the love square (Marinette didn’t break up with him because of Adrien but sure).”

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: "Gabriel Agreste" will be all about how he's not really evil just misunderstood. He had a lonely childhood or some garbage and we should feel totally sad for him you guys.

wow i hate it

[gunnerpalace]

hey there! so i used to be a huge fan of bleach, and loved ichiruki, and i was reminded of them today but i haven't been involved with the fandom since the series ended. however, i've heard of different variations of why the series ended/ships happened the way they did, and was wondering if you knew or could direct to me a post that explains that? i apologize if i'm bringing up bitter feelings, but i've always been curious if bleach's ending was a big FU from kubo or if he always intended rr/ih

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post that really goes over it structurally in that kind of way (from a shipping perspective). I’ll get back to what you actually asked me after some asides, because it’s not so simple to just analyze the ships in a vacuum.

I’ve had my own post about why the ending was a fuck you moment, thematically, because it failed to resolve any of the themes and momentum of the series in a way that would be appropriate (either internally or in the context of the supposed genre of shounen.)

I would also say that the ending was a fuck you moment in terms of lore, backstory, and mystery, because all of the historical and political dimensions (i.e., things involving the Soul King and Great Houses) were unceremoniously shuffled off to Can’t Fear Your Own World. Not that any of those things were ever brought up properly in the manga to begin with; the proper and natural time for that would’ve been at the conclusion of the Soul Society arc, when Ichigo and co. spent a week there, which we saw none of. So I would say that everything in CFYOW is basically retconned bullshit hung off prior convenient plot hooks, and that the same was true of TYBW and LSS/TLA/Xcution as well. There may have been some notes and forethought, but it’s about as “valid” as Kevin J. Anderson and Brian Herbert’s Dune works are compared to the original Frank Herbert ones; it’s second-hand, at best.

(This is setting aside that Bleach was clearly made up as it went along. For example: Noriaki literally admitted that he didn’t know who had killed Aizen in Soul Society until he realized that Aizen not being dead was the most shocking answer; the clear baiting and abandonment of Kisuke as the villain hinted at through various means such as his unclear and later retconned reasons for being exiled, and so on. Bleach was very much a J. J. Abrams-style mystery box work that was made as it went with, at best, rough notes, which is why its themes and focus change, for the worse. I also have a post about why it stopped being special, which is part of a running series I intend to write on how to rewrite it to fix and preserve that)

The best recent thing to compare it to is, really, HBO’s adaptation of Game of Thrones, wherein D. B. Weiss and David Benioff openly admitted to removing or deemphasizing story elements, and ignoring themes in adapting the work. The difference is that Bleach was not being adapted from anything; it degraded due to its own creator not understanding what he had created.

(To put it very simply, because this would be the point of Hyperchlorate Part II and would take a whole post to explain: the ending of the Soul Society arc did not properly establish and flesh out Soul Society as a place with a history, space, and purpose. Instead, the Arrancar and Hueco Mundo arcs decided to be a thematic inversion and deconstruction of the Karakura and Soul Society arcs. This again had an ending that did not establish or flesh anything out after Aizen’s defeat, with an even greater diffusion of focus onto ancillary characters. The Xcution arc tripled down on this by addressing something entirely new and retconned in, only to abandon it midway through in favor of going back to invoking Soul Society. And Thousand-Year Blood War took all of these problems to 11. tl;dr: Noriaki tried themes, people hated it, and so he just shoved in more and more dumb sword fights between people nobody cared about, half of whom hadn’t previously existed.)

So, let’s get back to your question. Let’s talk about ships. I’ve clicked a lot of keys and spilled a lot of ink on this subject over the years, but I no longer particularly feel like searching my own archives (really ought to go back through and organize them better) beyond this post and my own follow-up to it about the chronology of IR interactions, so I’m just going to repeat myself.

First, let’s say that Bleach was not ever a manga about ships.

I’m not disavowing that what Rukia and Ichigo had was special. That was called out multiple times through the focus of the art, the dialogue, and by the characters themselves. (Directly by, for example, Orihime’s outright statement to the effect in Soul Society, and her later jealousy regarding it. Indirectly by, say, Uryuu’s acknowledgement that him saving Rukia first would piss Ichigo off. In fact, the biggest indirect indicator doesn’t even involve Ichigo and Rukia; Shunsui asks Chad why he’s there and Chad says he wants to save Rukia, Shunsui calls bullshit that two months isn’t enough time to risk your life for that, and Chad agrees and says he’s there because Ichigo wants to do it. Shunsui moves on, but his argument is left hanging: why was two months enough for Ichigo? Because, as Orihime will later say out loud, Rukia is special.)

What I’m saying is that that was never the focus. It was explicitly constructed that way.

How do I know? The Grand Fisher fight. The Grand Fisher fight is emotionally charged, bringing up both Ichigo and Rukia’s greatest traumas, and is their one real moment of not understanding each other for a time. It was a triumphant moment that made them truly glad to know one another, and you can see it in their reactions afterward (Rukia thanking Ichigo for not dying, Ichigo asking Rukia if he can keep being a Shinigami). There was a lot to unpack there, and you can see it in the way they look at each other.

What happened immediately after the Grand Fisher fight? Noriaki skipped a whole month. We go from June 18th of 2001 to July 17th of 2001. He deliberately skipped all of the emotional impact of that event, and Rukia being around for Ichigo’s 16th birthday. Just never happened. We never hear about it. Wasn’t his focus as a writer.

Now, I’m convinced that was because he was scared of what he had on his hands. He wasn’t willing to commit to either a couple’s battle shoujo or a shounen with male and female seemingly-heterosexual co-equal deuteragonists who clearly had a strong emotional bond. More specifically, he wasn’t willing to make Rukia a centerpiece of the manga despite having designed her first, having made her the moral and philosophical core of his manga, and having based Ichigo entirely around completing and complementing her. But hey, that’s just my opinion, right? Except it kept happening.

From the Grand Fisher fight onward, the name of the game in the manga, structurally, became keeping Ichigo and Rukia apart.

The moment she was taken back to Soul Society, her prominence dropped. We got emotionally charged scenes of them regardless. Right at the conclusion, after yet another emotionally heavy set of Ichigo and Rukia interactions, we again skip almost a month, from the end of the first week in August of 2001 to September 1, 2001. (Due to some completely unnecessary timey-wimey bullshit with the Precipice World.)

In the Arrancar and Hueco Mundo arcs, they have roughly a day together over the course of three months. What happens after every meeting? They’re shuffled apart and split up, and we cut away. This time, for over a year!

Ichigo and Rukia again have a very emotionally charged meeting in the Xcution arc. And what happens at the end of that arc? We skip ahead another month to TYBW. (Xcution ended sometime in May of 2003, TYBW starts June 11, 2003.)

And in TYBW, Rukia and Ichigo barely meet up at all. Indeed, the focus is scarcely upon them.

In CFYOW, neither of them even appear, let alone have any relevance to the plot.

The implication, in my opinion, is pretty obvious: Noriaki was deathly afraid of dealing with the outcomes of their interactions, and that ultimately became him being deathly afraid of allowing them to interact at all to begin with. Why? Well, as I said in one of the last linked posts:

As an author, sometimes you will find your characters will do things you didn’t anticipate or plan for, and you’ve got two choices: you can go with the flow and do what’s natural and deal, or you can fight it and try and impose your vision anyway.

He refused to let his art take the direction it needed to go in.

Now, some people might say he got bored of them, or of having them together. I say that’s bullshit. And the reason I say is down to three things:

He didn’t ignore them, he did his best to keep them apart. I outlined this above.

He did not emphasize anything or anyone else instead. His focus was all over the place. While, admittedly, Ichigo’s prominence also declined, so did everyone else’s.

It would have served him well to focus on their interactions to expand his universe and explore its lore. The things that were detailed in the databooks and CFYOW could’ve been presented naturally and easily if they were together. But that came with a cost of shifting the focus. A cost he refused to pay.

Let’s talk more about (2) and (3) now.

Regarding (2), Chad and Orihime are inextricably linked in Bleach, because they essentially have the same relationship to Ichigo. “But Orihime loves Ichigo, and Chad is his no-homo bro!” someone proclaims. So what? They’re presented as equal and parallel at every step.

They both gain their powers at approximately the same time.

We are told they gained their powers due to the Hogyouku (in Rukia at the time) interpreting their wishes (and no one else’s, such as Tatsuki, Keigo, or Mizuiro), meaning they probably had the same strength of desire.

They both go to Soul Society “for Ichigo.”

They both utterly fail against Yammy and Ulquiorra.

They both spend most of the Hueco Mundo arc doing nothing.

They are both featured prominently in the Xcution arc, and both fail to see through Tsukishima’s powers despite their love for Ichigo. (Meanwhile, Byakuya coolly tries to murder someone who he thinks is his mentor, in Ichigo’s name.)

They both get sidelined in Hueco Mundo with Kisuke in TYBW, doing little to nothing.

They both are utterly ineffectual in the final fight in TYBW.

They are often portrayed together, they are often as effective as one another, and they are equally as developed in their relationship to Ichigo going forward, which is to say: not at all. The loss of focus on IR did not come with an attendant rise of focus on IH, any more than it did with the sudden rise of IchiChad. Nothing was built in IR’s place. There was no emotional or human content which filled its gap.

This is where the IH ending coming “out of nowhere” stems from: it indeed came out of nowhere, because Ichigo was never shown to have any interest in Orihime in all this time, nor an especially close relationship with her. He never hangs out with Chad or shows a bond with him either. He never hangs out with anyone, in fact. (Indeed, “friends” in Bleach do not do any of the things that friends actually do in real life. Nor do parents. You might say that interpersonal relationships and communication largely don’t exist in Bleach. But that’s its whole own topic.)

I would honestly say that more time and emphasis was given on Ichigo’s pseudo-surrogate mother relationship with Ikumi than was spent on him interacting with Orihime. (I would say Noriaki has serious hangups about relationships of any kind, be they romantic, familial, or friendly, and also has some severe hangups regarding mothers and fathers, but that is also its whole own topic.)

Regarding (3), Noriaki apparently wanted this big, Game of Thrones-style world with a long history and political machinations and so on. This is the whole point of TYBW and CFYOW. Trouble is, early Bleach was successful because of its small-scale intimacy. So how do you go from one to the other? You have to lay the foundations at every step. And Noriaki steadfastly refused to do so at every step. Having Ichigo and Rukia interact, and focusing on Rukia while Ichigo was sidelined without powers, would’ve permitted that organically. Indeed, if RR was the endgame, it would have given time to establish that, were it his desire. (Because Rukia never showed any interest in Renji, and frankly Renji always seemed way more preoccupied with Byakuya.) It didn’t serve his goals, but he did it anyway.

It’s much simpler to say he lost focus, and that he started to hate the manga as a whole. Why else would you have Mayuri fighting a giant hand when that achieved nothing, and Kenpachi fighting Thor when that achieved nothing? It became empty. Hollow, you might say.

But that takes us back to the question you posed: where did the ships come from? Nowhere. IH, RR, and fucking TatsuKeigo weren’t established anywhere. They just appeared. Why?

Well, why did every single character wind up doing the exact opposite of their intended and stated goals in the end?

Why did Soul Society revert to its previous attitude and rebuild the Sokyouku?

Why did nothing get resolved?

Why did nothing change?

Why was it all revealed to have been completely and utterly pointless?

In my view, it’s because that ending was a giant fuck you to the readership and Shueisha. There is no other way to interpret an author pulling a 180° and completely nullifying their characters’ arcs, and their work’s themes. Aizen’s little speech at the end is the cherry on top. I read it as Noriaki saying that he’s showing “courage” in telling us all to fuck off.

As to why? That’s an open question. His relationship with Shueisha was contentious, so maybe he was mad at them. (They gave him a deadline once he was dragging his feet, and reclassified Bleach as a joke manga.) His readership was on the decline after the Soul Society arc ended, so maybe he was mad at the audience. I don’t know. I also don’t really care. What I am convinced of is he decided to blow up his franchise and to not leave a single stone unturned when he did so.

That’s where that “ending” comes from, which is why despite it featuring IH and RR, both are thoroughly unsatisfying and without setup: it was the only way to piss absolutely everyone off, including people who wanted that outcome.

In a way, it was his greatest success since the early days of the manga.

Anyway, this was messy, but it’s not a simple topic to address. The tl;dr is that Bleach was a trainwreck from the very beginning that only succeeded on the merits of its characters, and that Noriaki deliberately avoided the promise it had to be something unique and grand. The ships are just a part of that, and cannot be understood in isolation from it.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 29: The Wrath of Khan

Today’s movie watching was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

My overall impression versus TMP is that this is clearly a smoother and more consistently entertaining film. It has a definite story with very little filler, good pacing, a lot of great little dialogue and character moments, and a strong conflict at its center.

But its sci fi bona fides are much weaker. Like by a lot.

Mom and I are talking a bit about Genesis and the more we talk, the weaker it appears to me. First, it’s not really as believable, imo, as a lot of Star Trek. Maybe it’s because it’s not alien based, but I just have a harder time suspending disbelief to think this is possible. Second, it’s not clear why anyone thought this was a good idea. I mean, as McCoy immediately pointed out, it just seems so CLEARLY dangerous: an object meant to foster creation that could so easily be the worst weapon the universe has ever known--nothing could go awry there! Third, the reason for creating such a device isn’t obvious at all. Carol mentions the “growing population” and “food scarcity” but nothing we’ve ever seen of the Federation implies they’re running out of space. Or, frankly (Tarsus IV aside), food. And fourth, there really isn’t any point to Genesis in all its particulars in this film. Like, obviously, its actual purpose is a plot device to resurrect Spock. Within just this film, it doesn’t do anything. Khan wants it, for some reason I’ve already forgotten even though I just saw the film, and he gets it, but I didn’t even notice that happening, because it was so unimportant. His REAL mission is his single minded revenge fantasy on Kirk. Genesis is just a McGuffin/space filler/plot device for the next film.

And honestly that’s not such a big deal, except that when you compare it to TMP, ,and its central idea of a human made probe that gained so much knowledge, doing what we taught it to do, that it became sentient and then started searching for the meaning of life, and how this relates to the search for meaning experienced by the main alien lead, and how his search, in that film and throughout the series, is a mirror for humans and OUR need for purpose... well it just seems really weak. “We made this really dangerous and unrealistic thing for no reason whoops!”

Mom is now criticizing Kirk for being too slow on the uptake when he first encounters the Reliant, which is fair. That’s pretty OOC of him. The idea that he’s too old for space is both one that I must personally disregard, and one that the film would have you discard, since we’ve already heard from TWO characters, the people who know him best, that his best destiny is as a starship captain, and command is his proper role. And that he might be a little rusty is also not a great explanation imo, because the rust was supposed to have come off in TMP. So, plot hole probably.

We were trying to do some math--TMP is at least 2 years post 5YM and TWOK is at least 10 years post TMP, so at least 8 years post TMP. I can understand more rust growing but like... he was already an Admiral in TMP and the idea that he was out of practice with actual command was a big part of his arc there. So it doesn’t seem warranted to do that again.

Also, the way he was commanding poorly in TMP was very IC: he was pushing too hard, trying too much, caring too much about the mission and not enough about...the laws of physics. That’s very Kirk. Being slow on the uptake, caught with his britches down--that’s not Kirk. Plus, with no one to call him out on it, like Decker did in TMP, his poor command doesn’t seem like a big character obstacle to overcome but just like...sloppiness all around.

I thought Khan was over all... just not that interesting. I guess I’m just not into the obsession/revenge plot. Also...idk man he didn’t seem that super to me. He outsmarted Kirk, like, once, and Kirk outsmarted him like 4 times. He tortured some people--but regular humans can do that. He used those sandworm thingies, which is also something humans could do. Overall, he didn’t seem to have any particularly special skills. The only time he really seemed like a worthy adversary for Kirk was when Kirk wasn’t really being IC himself.

I’m also not into the fridging of his wife. Think how much cooler it would have been if she’d still been alive! The only non-super human in the bunch and she’s still there! Ex-Starfleet and bitter!

The K/S in this film is very soothing. Imo they are clearly together here, and the whole film is better if you assume they’re boyfriends and everyone knows. That Vulcan convo that Spock and Saavik have? Waaaaay funnier if you think she’s talking about his boyfriend (”not what I expected....very human” “Well no one’s perfect”). Every time they call each other ‘friend’ like ““friend”“? All the Looks? The birthday gift?

Also the “I have been and always shall be your [friend]” scene is a wedding I will not be taking criticism on this opinion. Could it have been written more like a vow? I think not. It’s not quite This Simple Feeling but it’s the best this film has in that regard.

I liked Saavik and I do think she’s one of the better later-movie additions (though I only like her, as far as I can remember, when played by Kirstie Alley). She didn’t necessarily strike me as super alien, though, at least not at first... But I appreciated how persistent she was about the stupid test, and her regulation quoting. I enjoyed her. I also liked how she was obviously Spock’s protege, which makes her Kirk’s step-protege, and they had just a little bit of that awkward dynamic going on. (”Did you change your hair?”)

The Bones and Kirk relationship was great in this film. You can really feel their friendship and their history with each other. Bones knows him so well and can be honest with him, just when Kirk needs it most.

I also love how Kirk has the SAME conversation with both Bones and Spock (re: being a captain again) but with Spock it’s sooooo much flirtier. In case you weren’t sure what the difference in these two relationships is.

Bonus: this bit of dialogue: Spock: “Be careful, Jim.” / Bones: “WE will.” Lol Spock people who aren’t your boyfriend do exist.

Obviously, I cried during THAT scene. Honestly AOS should have taken note about how to do emotional scenes like that: they come after the main action is over and the villain is defeated. Then they hit at the right time and to the right degree. Kirk just slumping down after Spock dies....like he’s boneless...like he doesn’t know what to do... I CANNOT.

I feel so bad for him that I’ll even forgive him that awful eulogy. Spock died for Genesis? Uh, no, he died for the Enterprise, and for YOU. Spock is the “most human”? You shut your whoreson mouth

I remember hating both Carol and David but I actually hated them less this time, Carol especially. My mom is being really harsh about her, though, which makes me feel less confident in my assessment. I mean first off, she’s the inventor of Genesis, which is a pretty big strike against her. Second...pretty lame to keep Kirk from David. Although I did some vague math and Kirk would only have been about 21, still in the Academy, when David was born, so you can see how that would work out. Also, she distinctly says “Were we together?” which means they were not--this was a fuck buddy arrangement for sure. More complicated. But it still feels weird to retcon that, like, he’s known THIS WHOLE TIME that he’s a dad and we’re only learning about it now, as an audience.

Anyway I’m getting off track. Carol. What to make of her? Is she unstable? Is she still mad at Kirk? My mom points out that she just decided on her own that David would want to join Starfleet if he knew Kirk was his father--whereas what seems to have happened instead is he didn’t just become a civilian scientist like his mom but became her specific protege--working on a project where everyone was probably handpicked by her? I would assume? Also..he hates Starfleet. Not to put everything on the mom, but how did that happen?

Also...going down the rabbit hole of this and feeling awkward about it... but David KNEW Kirk. As “that guy you hung around with.” That means Kirk was in his life for quite a while, long enough for him to have memories, and long enough for those memories to still be with him even into his 20s. But he was never allowed to know who Kirk was. That means Carol’s rule must have been “You can see your son but you can’t tell him who you are” which in some way seems meaner to me than just “please don’t contact us again.” If he was already on his way into space, that could even make sense--”I know you’re not going to be able to be a family with us, so let’s not pretend, let’s make a clean break now.” But that wasn’t what happened!

Anyway whatever not to be HAICG!Kirk about this or anything lol

David is mostly annoying because he’s so anti-Kirk lol. I found him least annoying when he came around to Kirk at the end. Another big strike against him: he wore his sweater tied over his shoulders in such a Preppy manner. I honestly don’t see what about him is supposed to be reminiscent of Kirk.

David/Saavik was definitely happening lol. I wish I could have heard that conversation. It sounds like she told him a lot!!! Not sure why she attached herself to this particular annoying human so fast but I guess she did.

....I think that might be all. The uniforms and general styling were much better than TMP (though less funny/entertaining), and it was certainly an enjoyable overall yarn. A lot to pick apart and critique but in a fun way. Will probably watch The Search for Spock soon.

[littlesailorinthesun]

retcons, the timeline, and shining nikki

I recently received the Lore Files book, and though it’s in Chinese, a few friends of mine have helped me dig through it. If you aren’t aware, the book is a 2020 release: an official compendium of lore as well as an artbook. It’s only available in Chinese, but it is what it is; at least I don’t have to concern myself with bad translation this way. 

This post is less of an essay and more of a rant, for what it’s worth. But to those who like the story as much as I do, perhaps you’ll find it interesting as well. 

The lore book is... comprehensive.

It’s interesting what it decided to go into detail on, and what it decided not to. Many characters had about as much information as you could glean from their first story appearance and did not go into further detail, such as the Mayor and Starlet. Some were surprisingly more elaborate.

It answered some questions, though not as many as I would have wanted. As was implied before but never directly stated (my nemesis), Bobo is the descendant of the True King, aka the “Lightbringer” - an unofficial translation, but apparently pretty true to the literal meaning. What’s more, even more information was given about this mysterious figure, such as his real name, exactly when he lived and died, and a few more specifics about his life. 

However, it didn’t confirm many popular implied-but-never-directly-stated fan theories (a topic I hope to elaborate on later on this blog). It did give a couple of shreds of evidence that supported them. But I’m sort of a person that likes solid proof, if you understand what I mean? That’s why I take so much care to write when something is unconfirmed.

New information

Some more information it gave contradicted some older information. One of which I’m a little sensitive to is regarding Ace. She was previously listed as a Sagittarius on a Weibo post, and a little-known (I think?) fact is that this information was reflected in-game during the Brave New World event! In the pavilion screen, each character (Bobo, Lunar, Kimi, and Ace) had a constellation next to them that corresponded with their canonical zodiac, so there were multiple pieces of evidence indicating Ace’s zodiac. However, her new zodiac is Aries with a birthday of March 28. It also contradicted her height and made her seven (!!!) centimeters shorter than her previously-stated height (167cm -> 160cm). 

Other characters with new birthday information given were Xiao Zong, Nidhogg, and (I guess) Cesare. (We could have assumed Cesare’s birthday was the same as Chloris’ before, but it’s nice to have confirmation.) While the book gave us Nidhogg’s age (28), it did not directly state Xiao Zong’s in his profile. However, a glimpse into the timeline at the back of the book showed us Sayet’s year of birth, and Sayet is canonically older than Xiao Zong. The only thing is, Sayet would be ninety-seven were he still alive today. Xiao Zong being younger than 97 feels, frankly, absurd to me, considering this is a man who apparently lived so long he got bored with life. It’s also possible that he lied to Sayet about his age. But this is all we have to go on!

What about Shining Nikki?

At first glance, this book seems to be a shockingly unifying force that marries Love Nikki lore and Shining Nikki lore. Spoilers for the ending of Love Nikki, but we learn in the very first chapter of Shining Nikki that Nikki saw Lierlide, a god-like edgy handsome white-haired boye (let me thirst okay), destroy all of Miraland and that’s basically why she’s not in 680 anymore. 

Well, the book has several pages with pictures of Lierlide and the Ark, and even an explanation of what the Ark is. That’s pretty cool. 

But then you flip to the timeline at the end of the book, and you’re left scratching your head. 

Shining Nikki has a detailed account of the Apple independence war, set years before the main story, but the timeline writes that Apple gained independence in 147 New Era after an uprising against colonial rule - two very different dates given. 

It also writes that the Mercury Bank was established in 478 New Era, which is even more absurd. Even just a glimpse into SN lore will show you that Mercury is already a major financial presence. (You can even see one of their buildings in this recently-released PV!)

Finally, the last thing that was not in the lore book (from what I’ve seen), but was released at the same time as the book was released, is a post that claims, among other things, that the first computer in Miraland was created in year 556. Given that we see actual computers in Shining Nikki as well as a host of other technology, even social media, I don’t think these two facts are reconcilable.  

So are they trying to be compliant with Shining Nikki or???

Resolving the gaps

How does one resolve these inconsistencies in the timeline? It seems that they’re trying to do just that by claiming that, around the time of Shining Nikki, everyone entered an extended shared dream. This shared dream also included advanced technology and, to an extent, influenced the world afterwards. Information about the dream was written both in the post linked above as well as in the book. It feels like what they are trying to insinuate is that that shared dream is Shining Nikki.

However, this was never stated! The only things we know is that the dream and Shining Nikki were said to happen at the same year. The shared dream occurrence is meant to be an explanation for why they started their calendar over, NOT an explanation for Shining Nikki. As I understand it, they don’t actually have an explanation in Shining Nikki, and from what I’ve seen, only Nikki has called it “year 0″ there. I don’t know what calendar system they currently think they’re using. Please feel free to correct me if you know more, though.

Even this feels shaky, though, when you try to think about how long this dream would have lasted if every piece of information given in Shining Nikki that contradicts this timeline was included. Mercury (the man) is over a hundred years old, and he’s not the only ridiculously old person who has memories stretching back years. Would people have been born inside the dream, like the eighteen-year-old Haizhe who is strongly implied to be an ancestor of Kimi’s? 

It feels like they could have easily just not included these contradictory things in the timeline. It is not like the writers of this book didn’t know about Shining Nikki’s existence, as the entire book opens with it. So it seems likely that they are doing it on purpose to fuel the theory that Shining Nikki happened, but it happened in a dream-world, and the progress they made was lost when everyone woke up. If this is true, I’m guessing the meta-reason for doing this would be so that SN could do whatever it wanted with the plot and still have it be an enjoyable experience.

But remember, it's all just a theory, a game theory

I’d like to stress again that this is still only a theory and that not every piece of evidence holds up. However, it’s something I’ve been throwing around in my head, and receiving my copy of the book and going through it brought it back to the forefront of my mind.

It’s also pretty clear that considering the book retconned other previously-stated facts, perhaps this is just yet another mistake, and they aren’t that familiar with Shining Nikki after all beyond how LN is meant to end. Or perhaps they decided on purpose to only join the two stories with LN at the end and SN at the beginning, and beyond that each story was free to include its own lore without having to confirm each individual detail with the other, which sounds like it might make logistical sense. I don’t know the full story regarding who writes what, to be honest, so this is just me throwing things at the wall and hoping they stick. 

Finally, as pretty much all of this information I just wrote about was never officially translated to English, I’d like to thank the amazing translators of this fandom who have provided us with so much valuable information from both Love Nikki and Shining Nikki. Being able to read the text as translated by someone who understands the story is incredibly valuable. The things I wrote about are not based on Google Translate in case that is a concern. But I’m liable to mistakes like any other human, so let me know if I misspoke.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 102: Escape Route

So… I have a confession to make.  

I actually read this chapter weeks ago, when I had those few missed updates a while ago. And since reading it, I find myself for the first time ever since doing this rant series…lost for words.  

I know! 

And I don’t mean that to say this chapter is confusing, or aggravating, or too good to talk shit about, it’s just…empty. Which is weird, given that on paper there’s some juicy elements to talk about.  In fact, I was initially pretty excited to go into this chapter given that this is the chapter that gave us:

So how the hell can I say there’s nothing to talk about? Well, it’s all in the summary.  The chapter starts with the panel I presented in the beginning, where Lucy establishes that it’s Augustus’ birthday.  There’s a bit of back and forth which is cute, but it’s all just fluff to get us to…

A retcon of that one chapter where Lucy tried to ride the bus with Augustus!  Except instead of being kicked off the bus for bus hopping, she instead gets to stay.  Now that might seem like a semi-interesting concept, but it’s really not and it’s evident in the chapter.  It’s basically just this

Lucy sees the place that Augustus lives in, and what it’s like in the inner city, and a glimpse into his home life. She’s culture shocked, and ends up sleeping over, where she has

THE DREAM

but then we snap back to reality and nothing is really changed.  I’m glossing over a lot here, but the thing is, while reading this chapter I felt oddly underwhelmed.  It felt like I already knew everything that would happen in this chapter.  Which might be chalked up to me being spoiled about the Alejandro dream when this chapter initially came out, but then again I’m no stranger to spoilers.  And in fact, a lot of times spoilers lead to more interest from me, because I want to know how we got to those big moments, and a lot of times there’s things that were missed while everyone was focused on that big moment which is where a lot of my rants get their material from.  A good example of this, being the carnival.

I knew about this line and the implications when it came out, but it didn’t spoil it for me. There were plenty of surprises and criticisms to throw outside of this one boneheaded moment.  There was more than just this one scene to make me perk up and dive into, such as Lacey’s behavior following this confession.  But here?

Outside of the alleyway nightmare sequence, there’s nothing to dig into.  Which baffles me so much I’ve had to sit and stew on what the fuck to even talk about for weeks!  Because there SHOULD be something to talk about here, there’s a new event going on, a return to form of having an alternate take on a previous situation. You’d think, as someone who basically started their artistic comeback doing that exact same thing I’d have more to talk about here, but I’m kinda stumped.  What do I talk about?

Oh, we see that Augustus lives in poverty and has bad parents? Yeah, we already knew that!  

Well okay, we may have known that but maybe this is about showing that Lucy knows that now too, and it’s showing her come to this revelation! Which that might be true, except for the fact that

WE ALREADY KNOW LUCY KNOWS THIS SHIT, WHEN AUGUSTUS TOLD HER!

But what about Alejandro? Maybe this chapter is meant to be a refresher to the audience to remind us that Alejandro’s a threat, except that’s even weaker because his existence as a real threat, was already reestablished THE SAME CHAPTER LUCY CAME BACK IN!  

Any information to be gathered from this chapter is either surface level shit, or just stuff that every reader already knows about.  And what makes this even worse is the fact that THIS WAS A FUCKING REDRAW OF A BCI EXCLUSIVE COMIC!  

So anyone who actually read that, and paid money to see that exclusive storyline was rewarded by having to wait at least TEN FUCKING WEEKS to read the same fucking shit they read before! And yes, I am going to talk about the BCI exclusive, because it made me kind of excited to dive into this chapter knowing that I could double dip, by comparing the BCI exclusive version to the canon version.  And it would’ve been a moral dilemma for me to show you this, because I do respect Taeshi’s private art and not showing what she may not want to show.  And I would feel bad about showing something that people paid money to exclusively see… if it weren’t for the fact that IT IS A COMPLETE PANEL-BY-PANEL CARBON COPY OF THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE!  I COULD SHOW YOU THE ENTIRE FUCKING BCI COMIC, AND IT WOULDN’T MATTER AT ALL, BECAUSE IF YOU’VE READ THIS CHAPTER YOU’VE ALREADY READ THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE SO IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER!  

“But wait!” you might be saying, “That’s not entirely true.  Taeshi redrew the pages, and changed bits of the dialogue!”  And you know what?  You’re right!  She did, let’s talk about that shall we?

These are the only things she changed, just dialogue tweaks.  And you might be thinking, “Okay I see what you mean.  These are all just minor changes, that really don’t deviate in any substantial way to the chapter’s story.” Except… if you pair this with the other thing that wasn’t in the BCI exclusive, it’s quite clear what these little changes really insinuate, and what they mean.  Because, you know what wasn’t in the BCI exclusive?

This scene and yes the entire dream sequence, which I haven’t touched too much on wasn’t in the BCI exclusive.  It was created solely for the canon adaptation and if pair this with the minor dialogue changes I specifically brought up, you’ll see why they’re actually significant..  

First of all, I just need to point this out because I saw it, and now you can’t unsee it either.

Lucy’s going full owl head here.  These guys must be freaks to hit on someone doing the fucking exorcist full neck turn. But don’t let the owl head distract you, bear in mind that those five panels I showed from the BCI was the entire exchange and reaction between Lucy and these creeps.  However, in the canon…

It actually lingers on a bit more, we see the guys’ faces and them leering at Lucy, it has more implications outside of a simple cat-calling (no pun intended).  It’s more focus on Lucy trying to act tough and stifle her fears.  

But this change really shows what the changes are really trying to get at here.  The original line insinuates more than violence, but could mean death.  Whereas the change to “He’d be more than excited to know you came way out here.” Is pretty clear in its implication.  And this implication is indicative of what this chapter is really trying to establish. And the implication is…

THE R-WORD. And no, I don’t mean THAT R-Word you assholes; I mean the R-word that gets brought up whenever you talk about Augustus x Daisy, the R-Word that is tied to Alejandro, the R-Word that is brought up to excuse Lucy’s change in character, the R-Word I refrained from using in the carnival chapter because I don’t want to talk about that...  I’m talking about…

Rape. 

You wanna know what the whole purpose of this chapter is about?  If you break away all the needless information that we already know about Augustus, the only thing to take away from this chapter and its dream within a flashback…is that Lucy was almost raped… it has traumatized her, and she need serious help.   And after realizing that, and the fact that the entire trip is pointless in giving the reader anything new to chew on, I can’t even give a thought to the rest of that dream sequence, as it’s just that Lucy distrusts her friends and feels isolated.  Even if I talk about that, and what interesting things to gather from it there may be, I know it doesn’t matter because it’s a fucking DREAM WITHIN A FLASHBACK!  And if we look at this chapter and break it down to brass tacks, all this chapter tries to accomplish is trying to make us sympathize with Lucy by bringing up the absolute worst fucking thing imaginable.  And it just so happens that this is during after we’ve seen Lucy do some messed up shit to her former friends. Perhaps this chapter is meant to make us feel pity for Lucy, and let that pity excuse the bullshit she’s done.  But pulling out the rape card?  That’s fucking low.  This chapter aside from the rapey bits, is just numbing.  Like I said, everything that this scenario could’ve dived into or revealed were revealed and reinforced already.  And I remember when this chapter was coming out, even us shitposters and loving haters were fucking bored to tears, counting the fucking days for this chapter to end. But I know what some might say,

“You’re being unfair, Lt! Of course you know this stuff, you’re a fanatic!  This is a refresher for everyone, because they may not remember the stuff with Alejandro! They may not be so well versed, and you yourself even complained how there were minor things you forgot about in the canon that needed to be reminded to you!” and you know what?

Ya might be right there, pally.  You might be right, the dedicated fanbase probably could use a refresher on the threat of Alejandro, I mean who’s gonna remember that plot point from all the way back in Volume 1?  Except that like I stated in the beginning of this rant...

THE THREAT OF ALEJANDRO AND THE EFFECT HE HAS ON LUCY AND AUGUSTUS WAS ALREADY RE-ESTABLISHED SEVEN CHAPTERS AGO!  HIS INFLUENCE IS EVER PRESENT WITH AUGUSTUS!

“But that’s seven chapters ago! In real time, that was like a year difference.  You can’t just expect readers to remember that!” Well maybe you’re right, maybe you’re right.  But wait!

AREN’T YOU THE SAME PEOPLE WHO TELL ME AND MANY OTHER READERS THAT THIS COMIC IS MEANT TO BE READ IN BINGE FORM?!  WHERE IT’S CHAPTER BY CHAPTER!   BUT NOW YOU WANNA GIVE A BREAK TO THE ADDICTS WAITING WITH BAITED BREATH DAY ON END FOR AN UPDATE!?  WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?!  

 sigh...

In closing… This chapter above all else, and I’m surprised to say this…  Is utterly pointless.  It’s nothing but shock value, meant to reinforce the fucked up part of BCB and these characters.  It gives us nothing new, and it’s a chapter that I feel is just a waste of time.  We already knew the things it brings up, and what we didn’t know, we could easily infer.  Not to mention that its placement before December, muddles the motivation of Lucy’s suicide attempt if not exposes a missed opportunity because it would’ve been a lot more interesting and moving to have Lucy think about her friends outside of Mike before jumping, and we see there that she has that mistrust in them.  But nope, that’s not what we get and this chapter does absolutely nothing except tell the audience, “Hey!  Lucy was almost raped and it’s fucked up!  We didn’t take the time to explore this, and establish her feelings before (even in times after this flashback supposedly takes place) so we’re going to bring it up now!  And it’s a flashback so we can say it was there the entire time!  But in reality, we just didn’t want to dive into it back then, but we’re gonna bring it back in now!”  And hey, why not recycle an entire storyline that you did before and change next to nothing.  Because that’s super creative.  

I give this chapter a hollow 2/10 I’ll give it an extra point because the nightmare sequence was actually well done.  I liked Taeshi’s use of vertical paneling and experimenting with the webcomic style in that way, and it was done very effectively.  However, that doesn’t change that fact that it was nothing but shallow shock value in my eyes.

[charminglatina]

Like I said in my previous Anti-Bughead post, there are so many more reasons to absolutely despise this couple. I could write a novel on why Bughead is literally the worst ship on television but it would be way too time consuming. There’s so many reasons that Bughead is an inferior ship. Such examples of Bughead being mediocre and terrible include them being a highly overrated couple, being a very boring, dull couple that takes up too much screen time even though they are so boring, being a seriously underdeveloped relationship as a result of happening way too quickly into the show, and Jughead and Betty bringing out the absolute worst in each other when they are in each other’s presence. But there are numerous reasons why I hate them and why I will never ship them. But because there are so many reasons to dislike this couple, I have to try and condense my reasons for hating this couple and explain why Bughead is the weakest part of the show. Here are another 5+ reasons why I despise Bughead.

Bughead is EXTREMELY overrated: This ship is so fucking overrated and overhyped. It is one of the primary reasons why I hate Bughead. It doesn’t deserve the attention and popularity it receives. Bughead is just another boring, hetero White ship with no chemistry, no passion, no development, and is toxic as all hell. Why is this ship so well-liked and poplar by the fandom? I just don’t get it. They are fucking annoying and dull. They are, by far, the least exciting couple, canon and non-canon, in the entire show yet for some backward ass reason, the writers and RAS consistently force and shove this ship in our faces on a week-to-week basis. There are other interesting, exciting, and dynamic couples on this show that deserve more attention recognition and screen time than Bugcest does. Couples like Choni, Falice, Veggie, Barchie, Jeronica, the list goes on and on. Any other couple (canon and non-canon) deserves more attention than Bughead does. At this point, Bughead is probably the most overrated ship in television history. For such a ship that provides nothing to the show but fanservice and doesn’t bring anything exciting and nourishing to the series table, it’s so grandly overhyped. There are undoubtedly other couples in TV and film that deserve so much more attention, recognition, and kudos than Bughead. Why are they so overhyped and celebrated amongst the Riverdale fandom? Is it because Cole and Lili are a real life couple and are dating off screen? Is it because the Bughead fandom primarily consists of screaming teenaged girls who live through Betty and are living out their bad boy/good girl romance fantasies along with their Cole fantasies through Bughead? I don’t get the hype surrounding this mediocre couple. There are plenty of other couples in television and film that have or have had way more chemistry and proper development than Bughead. Another couple that I loathe is Delena from TVD, but even they had some spark, passion, and chemistry in the earlier seasons. At least they had some development and journey, despite how screwed up and toxic they were in season 4 onwards. At least the actors portraying the couple of Delena had some semblance of spark or romantic chemistry at the start. With Bughead, there is none of the above. No chemistry, no passion, no excitement, no development. Bughead is one of the worst written couples in recent years, but it gets so much attention from the fandom, the writers of Riverdale and the media. And I can’t seem to understand how such a mediocre couple with no chemistry, with bad writing, and a severe lack of development could garner so much attention and became the “face” of Riverdale. The only reason why Bughead is even that popular in the first place is because of Cole Sprouse. That’s the truth. And yet if the couple of Bughead has Cole Sprouse as half of the couple, it STILL doesn’t deserve the hype and attention that it receives.

Bughead is boring: I’ve said it many times before and I will continue to repeat it. Bughead is the most boring couple in existence. They are so dull that every single time they are on my TV screen every Wednesday, I want to either fall asleep or skip through their scenes. The lack of chemistry, passion, and excitement in their relationship is what makes them the most boring couple ever. Even when they do so-called exciting stuff together or when they have drama, it’s still dull. Their investigative quests, fights, interactions, romantic bullshit, and drama is boring. As if Bughead wasn’t boring enough as it is in the previous seasons, they are even more boring in season 3. Bughead is so dull that they have become a ghost couple and non-existent. Bughead has so obviously overstayed its welcome, and their relationship has ceased to matter anymore. They served their purpose, and there’s nothing else to do with them, and the writers know it. Otherwise, why would the writers choose to separate them so much or have them interact so much less this season in comparison to last season? Even when Bughead is acting all lovey-dovey and couple-like, it comes across as incredibly forced. I see two friends trying to force a romantic connection that has ceased to exist. It’s time for the writers to cut the cord on this couple. When a couple on a show becomes boring, dull and tasteless and an increasing number of viewers and fans alike mention this, then it’s time to put an end to a couple.

Bughead is underdeveloped: This couple can’t be understood as a romantic couple because they have a severe lack of development. And that is a result of the couple being seriously rushed as I mentioned in my previous post. Supposedly, Jughead and Betty have known each other since childhood, and they were friends since. But there are many plot holes and inconsistencies in their relationship. If Betty and Jughead had known each other since childhood, then how come Betty didn’t realize when Jughead’s birthday was? Why did Archie have to tell her that it was Jughead’s birthday? How come Betty had never met Jughead’s father before? It is what I don’t understand. I feel like the writers have tried to rewrite history and retcon Bughead’s relationship and because of that, it comes across as inconsistent with a lack of proper development. Another reason that Bughead lacks development is that the couple just happened way too fast into the series. Normally, a couple that happens in the very first few episodes of the series is considered to be a rushed couple. There is only one couple that can get away with arriving in the first couple of episodes, and that is Stelena from TVD. Stelena may have happened very fast and without tons of development in the beginning, but at least they had believable chemistry and were a love at first sight type of couple. Those kinds of pairings and couples are scarce on television, so I give Stelena and their relationship a pass. But Bughead is nowhere near Stelena’s level because they don’t have strong enough chemistry for me to believe that they all of a sudden like each other without actually seeing the development in their relationship. It's confirmed recently by a writer on Twitter that Jughead had liked Betty for a long time during their childhood. But didn’t make a move on her because Betty was in love with Archie and she was much closer to Archie that she was to him. Huh? That sounds so peculiar and doesn’t coincide with anything that happened in season 1. I feel like the writers are trying to retcon Bughead in many ways, starting with their childhood and their history. The lack of development in Bughead’s relationship is a huge reason why they don’t click as a couple. In most cases, people need to see the journey with a couple falling in love. We need to view it, not told how much two people love each other. I feel like Bughead is shallow in that sense; I and the audience are told that Bughead love each other, but it’s not shown. Bughead would have probably been better written if they didn’t happen so fast in season 1. If Bughead took time to develop into a relationship, like say developed throughout all of season 1 and earlier part of season 2, then I could at least understand their relationship a bit better. I still may not ship them, but I wouldn’t be complaining about the lack of development and plot holes and inconsistencies in their relationship. Another reason why Bughead comes across as underdeveloped to me is that I feel like the writers just threw Jughead and Betty together randomly without even thinking. It’s like they just tossed two random characters together and luckily, it managed to be reasonably well-received by the fandom (unsure if it’s necessarily well received by the general or casual audience, however), and now it’s sticking. Bughead is just really poorly written and not thought out very well. And now, because of the toxic, screaming loudmouth Bughead fans, the writers feel threatened if they ever think of breaking them up and exploring other relationships. The writers wrote themselves into a corner because of their shoddy and poor writing, and it’s destroying the show and the content of the show. Now, I’m not saying that any of the other couples are well developed either. Couples like Varchie didn’t have the best of development either, but at least I saw hints and glimpses throughout season 1 that Archie and Veronica had an attraction to each other. My biggest issue with Varchie isn’t necessarily the development, but the fact that it’s a shallow relationship and it’s toxic. Choni is also very rushed and underdeveloped as well but what saves them and makes them worthy of shipping is the chemistry between the two characters.  But this post isn’t to address my issues with Varchie and Choni. This post is to point out all the problems that I have with Bughead as a ship and a couple. And this is one of the reasons why I can’t ship this couple because of the severe lack of development and the inconsistencies in writing for them.

Bughead bring out the WORST in each other: A huge reason why I hate this couple is because of how they bring out the very worst in each other. Their characters become extremely annoying and unlikeable whenever they are together. They don’t have a good influence on each other, and they act very stupidly and impulsively where the other is concerned. Jughead seems to have a habit of bringing out Betty’s dark side and making her intolerable. One of the biggest reasons why Betty has become so unlikeable throughout the series is because of her relationship with Jughead. Before she got with Jughead, I liked Betty and found her tolerable. As soon as she jumped into a rebound relationship with Jughead, I slowly but surely went from liking her, to being annoyed by her, to disliking her to downright hating and loathing her as of now. Jughead has a habit of bringing out betty’s darkness. Not only does he bring out her darkness but he enables her darkness. He seems to think that it’s okay that she relishes in her dark side. He’s been the one to see her dark side aside from Veronica yet he has done nothing about it. When Betty was dressing up in BDSM clothing and misbehaving, Jughead chose to relish in it and enjoy it. The only time that Jughead semi did something about Betty acting an inappropriate way was in 2x08 when he broke up with her after Betty stripped in front of him and an entire bar of Serpents. Jughead being a part of Betty’s life isn’t good for her mental health and her emotional state. Jughead’s life is consistently stressful with constant unpredictability and ups and downs. Does a girl like Betty who struggles with mental illness and emotional troubles need to be with a guy that has such a hard life? The answer is no. Betty is troubled enough as it is. Betty is a dark person as it is. She doesn’t need more darkness and trouble added to her already troubled dysfunctional life. She needs someone that will bring her out of her troubles and her darkness, someone that will encourage her to do the right thing and bring her to the light (that person is Archie by the way). Jughead also does a lot of stupid things in the name of Betty. He was perfectly okay with covering up the dead body of a man that Fake Chic had killed in the Cooper house simply because Betty is his girlfriend. He was okay with taking part in covering up murder evidence so that Betty, Alice, and Chic wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences of their actions. Jughead gets involved in numerous morally ambiguous situations because of Betty. He is always getting his nose stuck into criminal activity because Jughead and Betty are just itching to be that investigative duo that solves all the crime and mystery in the town. Also, Jughead found out that Betty was faking pill prescriptions and lying about a therapist. She was abusing Adderall, and he did nothing about it. Instead, he enabled her addiction and didn’t get her the help that he needed. Instead of encouraging her to get help for her mental health issues, he simply told her that everything was going to be okay and then placed his dirty, stinky beanie on top of her head and kissed her on the chin? What the fuck? What boyfriend does that? What good boyfriend brushes aside his girlfriend's mental health problems and acts like it’s nothing important? It’s the same thing that happened in season 1. Betty told Jughead that she was scared of herself because she has bubbling darkness inside of her that she can’t seem to control. She shows him her palms and how she cuts them by digging her nails so hard into them that they scar and bleed whenever she lets her emotions get out of control or when she gets enraged. That is a very troubling confession that Betty made to Jughead, yet he just sat there and did nothing about it. Instead, he chose to take her palms and kiss them. Um, hello? Your girlfriend just confessed to you that she’s mentally unstable and you don’t do anything about it except kiss her palms? Nah son. That’s now how it goes. Jughead makes Betty so annoying and intolerable, and he is the reason why she has become my least favorite character on the show. Betty also does stupid things in the name of Jughead. She threatened Cheryl, a girl who has gone through numerous trouble and trauma, with the video of her father killing her beloved twin brother simply because she was blackmailing Cheryl to lie for Jughead’s father about covering up Jason’s dead body. Betty was perfectly fine with blackmailing a girl who just lost her brother and is dealing with PTSD and depression to the extent that she almost killed herself at Sweetwater River all because she wanted to save her boyfriend’s guilty father? I mean, seriously? That was just a straight up sinister and evil move on Betty’s part. Betty also wanted to join Jughead’s world of gangs, violence and criminal activity. She wanted to be a Serpent so that she could be with Jughead and “watch out for him.” So what did Betty do so that she could become a part of Jughead’s world? She got up on a stage in a bar full of mostly adult Serpents (who are mostly older men) and stripped in front of them without any sense of shame whatsoever. Not only did she strip in front of older men that she didn't know, but she stripped in front of her boyfriend and his father! It’s just weird! She is an underaged teenage girl for God’s sake! Do you see what I mean by Jughead influencing Betty to act terribly? It is what makes Bughead incredibly problematic and toxic. Because of their relationship, Jughead and Betty as characters have grown stagnant. They haven’t experienced and character development or growth that is positive. They are indeed changing, but they are changing for the worst, not the better. Jughead and Betty’s relationship has caused them to have serious character derailment and regression. Jughead has become an egotistical, dictatorial, tyrannical leader of a gang. He has become obsessed with power and has let it get to his head. He’s been playing the dangerous game of G&G and is letting it influence him toxically. And Betty hasn’t been able to snap him out of these terrible moments. Betty tries to convince Jughead to stop playing G&G, but he continues to be more intrigued with it and continues playing the game despite Betty’s warnings about how dangerous it is. Betty tells Jughead to ease up on his subordinates as Serpent King? But instead, he acts even more tyrannical and dictatorial and letting the power consume him and get to his head. Betty has failed on numerous occasions in getting through to Jughead. She doesn’t temper his darkness and brings out the good side of him. She doesn’t healthily challenge him. She enables him and his bad decisions and poor behavior. The relationship has just managed to destroy and damage these two characters that I’m uncertain if they can even be repaired. The same is said for Jughead enabling Betty’s bad behavior and poor attitude. The way I see it, the only way for Jughead and Betty to show any character growth is for them to break up and explore other relationships and become better, stronger people on their own. The toxicity of their relationship is killing Jughead and Betty as characters, and they need to break up to rebuild themselves. Because right now, Jughead and Betty are shells of their former selves.

Bughead are highly incompatible: They are much too different from each other to have a healthy romantic relationship. I’m all about opposites attract relationships as they can be, but Bughead is opposites attract relationship that is toxic and unhealthy. Sometimes being opposites can be a beneficial and good thing because it can teach you about different lifestyles, outlooks, points of view and perspectives. On the other hand, opposites attract couples that can cause tension, drama, pain and tons of unnecessary problems. Unfortunately, Bughead is the type of opposites attracts couple that is the latter. Betty is the epitome of a normal girl next door. She’s born into a regular everyday middle-class American family. She seemingly has everything going for her, but despite that, she does have personal troubles and family issues. Jughead, on the other hand, is from highly dysfunctional, broken and toxic family background and environment. He’s poor and doesn’t have much in the way of money and security. He has to resort to being a gang member to get by financially. The problem with Jughead and Betty is that they are too opposite. They come from vastly different worlds. Though Betty’s mother grew up on the Southside and was a Serpent back then, Alice outgrew her Serpent and Southside side back in high school. She is more of a Northsider than anything else and has been for a couple of decades. Alice doesn’t identify with the Southside anymore. So just because Alice was a Southsider doesn't make Betty a Southsider. Just because her mother was a Serpent doesn’t mean that Betty should be a Serpent. Betty just doesn’t fit into Jughead’s world at all. She is a Northsider through and through, and she always will be. I don’t care if Betty is currently a member of the Serpents or is their “Serpent Queen.” She is still from the Northside, and that’s never going to change. Do you ever wonder why the other Serpent members never pay attention to Betty or treat her as if she is the co-leader of their gang? Do you ever wonder why the other Serpents never turn to Betty for her opinion or input when they have Serpent meetings? It’s because they don’t respect her and they know that Betty doesn’t belong there or fit in their gang. She is not a part of their world because she grew up privileged and spoiled on the Northside. Betty tried to integrate herself into Jughead’s world throughout season 2, and it did nothing but cause trouble and tension in their relationship. Even though Betty became the Serpent Queen at the end of season 2, it still doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t belong there. If you look at the way Betty is when she is around the Serpents in season 3, she seems uncomfortable and entirely out of place. Betty looks like a fish out of the water. The only reason that Betty is even a part of the Serpents right now is that she is Jughead’s girlfriend and he is the Serpent King. It means that Betty is Serpent Queen by default and by pure nepotism through being the love interest of the Serpent King. Betty didn’t earn the title of Serpent Queen through accomplishments or what she has done for the Serpents. If anyone is qualified to be the true Serpent Queen, it’s Toni Topaz. She is a Serpent by blood and was raised as a Serpent. Not to mention that her paternal grandfather Thomas Topaz is the founder of the Southside Serpents. It’s clear, and it’s evident that Betty does not and will never belong in Jughead’s world. She is just an outsider in the Serpent world, and even Sweet Pea criticized Betty for having input regarding Serpent matters. Other than that, Jughead and Betty’s personalities are much too different, but they are also too alike in regards to being too troubled and having too many issues. Their relationship is toxic because of how troubled both of them are. They are too different and too alike at the same time, and there’s no healthy balance in their relationship. A healthy relationship is all about balance and Bughead doesn’t have that. There’s either too much or too little and not enough middle ground, and that is why they aren’t compatible. Jughead is very intense, moody, brooding and impulsive. Betty is more cheery, positive, light-hearted and upbeat. On the surface, that looks all good and appealing enough to ship, but if you get down to the nitty-gritty reality of it, it’s a recipe for significant clashes and differences. The reason why Bughead fights so much and have so many arguments is because of the differences in their viewpoints, outlooks, backgrounds, and personalities. They have vastly different temperaments that deem them strongly incompatible. Some people would argue that Bughead being the opposite is a good thing because they would balance each other out or complement each other. But in Bughead’s case, they don’t. Bughead doesn’t make for a harmonious romantic relationship. They would be far better and more compatible as a friendship than anything else.

Bughead has 0% passion: I know this appears to be a shallow reason to dislike Bughead but believe it or not, chemistry and passion are fundamental for me to like or support a fictional pairing. I don’t think that a couple should be all about passion, lust, and chemistry but I do believe that there should be some spark and heat in the relationship. And to be honest, Bughead doesn’t have any passion at all. Their relationship is devoid of any excitement, spark or passion. To be blunt, Bughead is just plain dull and boring. I’m not asking for Bughead to be filled with tons of passion or for their relationship to be merely defined by heat and passion. But those components are what makes a romance on television fun and exciting to watch. Without that heat, that chemistry, and that passion, romantic couples on television become a chore to watch. There’s nothing to pull the viewer in or make them interested enough to watch. As to why Bughead lack significant amounts of heat and passion? I have two reasons. 1.) They happened way too fast, and they were rushed. Because of how quickly they got together in the series, there was no build up to their relationship. Build up can equate to a couple having a certain degree of passion and excitement. When a couple is rushed and lacks development, the audience cannot see the passion and the spark and the chemistry unfold between the two. And that’s what happened to Bughead. The audience wasn’t able to see the buildup of chemistry and heat between Jughead and Betty. Because of how quick they arrived, they became stale quickly. In season 2, they were already dull and lacking chemistry and passion. Even when they became sexual with each other, it came off as forced and non-sexual. By the time Bughead has their first sex scene in 2x12, it wasn’t interesting or exciting. Their first time fell flat for me chemistry and passion-wise. 2.) The two actors lack chemistry in general. I know Cole and Lili are supposedly dating in real life, but for some strange reason, any supposed chemistry that they have isn’t translating on screen. One would expect a couple who are dating off screen to be able to play a romantic couple with ease while acting, but not the case with Bughead and Sprousehart. Like I said in my previous post, I made the argument that Bughead lacks on-screen chemistry because Sprousehart is a fake PR couple and they aren’t real. I made the comparison between them and Brangelina in Mr. & Mrs. Smith; how Brad and Angelina had so much on-screen chemistry that t was very apparent that the two were having a romantic and sexual affair off-screen and off-set. But Cole and Lili are the antheses of Brangelina when it comes to chemistry on screen. Though both couples were real life, Brangelina was able to convey and translate their off-screen romance and chemistry onscreen while they were playing a couple in their movie while Sprousehart consistently fails to carry any semblance of romantic and sexual chemistry on the screen when they are supposed to be a romantic couple as Bughead. Why is that? It leads one to question the nature of Sprousehart’s romance in the real world. Are they a real couple? Or are they a fake PR couple that is together for marketing purposes? Judging by the lack of chemistry and the forced nature of their on and off-screen relationship, I’m guessing it’s the latter. To sum it up, passion is essential in a romantic relationship especially one that’s fictional and being watched by viewers every week. It’s what keeps viewers intrigued with the romance, and unfortunately, Bughead doesn’t have an ounce of chemistry, spark or passion.

Bughead fans are terrible and annoying: One of the primary reasons why I hate Bughead is because of their fans. A lot of their fans are downright awful and terrible. They are indeed the worst fans within the entire Riverdale fandom. They make the Riverdale fandom experience for everyone else who doesn’t ship Bughead a complete and total nightmare. Bughead fans are so loud, annoying and extremist that they come across as petty and childish bullies. If someone says that they don’t like or ship Bughead (add Sprousehart to the mix), then they have no issue with attacking and insulting people and bullying them if they don’t share their opinion. Going by the way that many Bughead fans act and how badly they treat other people who have a differing opinion to theirs, it’s apparent that the majority of the Bughead fanbase is filled with a bunch of teenage girls who lack maturity and don’t understand the meaning of true love and romance. They will do anything and say anything to get their way even if it means bullying the writers, actors, RAS and other fans of the show. Bughead fans are very insulting and hurtful in their words. They are downright bullies IMO. When Vanessa Morgan was cast and was stated to have been a possible obstacle to Bughead, the Bughead fans went on the attack and sent her death threats on Twitter because she was going to pose a threat to their ship. When Ethel Muggs kissed Jughead in a recent season 3 episode, Bughead fans attacked the real-life actress who plays Ethel Shannon Purser. They fat-shamed her and bullied her on her social media, and it was so bad that Shannon had to call people out on it. Not to mention that Lili Reinhart had to come on social media and denounce the attacks made towards Vanessa and Shannon that Bughead fans were making. It was that bad that Lili had to try and stop it. Bughead fans also somewhat attacked Camila Mendes after her character Veronica had kissed Jughead in 2x14, although not as severely as they struck Vanessa and Shannon. Camila even admitted that she was so scared and intimidated to go on her Twitter and Instagram accounts after the episode 2x14 aired out of fear that she would be bullied, insulted and attacked for her fictional character kissing another fictional character. It's bullying, plain and simple. For some reason the Bughead fans don’t care about the fact that they are hurting people all because of a fictional mediocre couple. The primary reason why Bughead fans resort to bullying anyone who poses a threat to their ship is because of one thing: they are insecure. They know that their couple is on borrowed time and that it’s a complete bore compared to other couples and potential couples on this show. When they see a couple that has more chemistry and excitement than Bughead, the Bughead fans lash out in anger and take it out on the writers, the actors, RAS, and other fans. Bughead’s bullying of the actors and other fans of other couples is based on pure insecurity and pettiness. I don’t mean to exaggerate, but I will argue that the Bughead fandom is one of the worst fandoms I have ever seen in the history of my experience in all TV and film fandoms and that is saying a lot.

Barchie & Jeronica are superior to Bughead: I think that the pairings of Barchie and Jeronica have way more potential than Bughead (and Varchie). First, Barchie and Jeronica have tons more chemistry than Bughead and Varchie. I’ll be so honest as to claim that Barchie and Jeronica’s chemistry puts Bughead and Varchie’s chemistry to absolute shame which isn’t at all hard since both of those pairings don’t have an ounce of chemistry, to begin. Other than the chemistry factor, Barchie and Jeronica are vastly more interesting than Bughead. I think those two pairings will bring out the best in each other and they will positively challenge each other. Breaking up Bughead (and Varchie) will give the show a new and fresh direction instead of the same stale, stagnant path that it’s been on for three seasons now. Barchie is better than Bughead because not only is the chemistry so much better, but because they would be perfect for each other. Archie and Betty are so much more compatible than Jughead and Betty are. Archie and Betty come from similar words and backgrounds. They understand each other at a fundamentally more in-depth level. They have a bond and a connection that goes so deep, and that’s something that Bughead and Varchie can’t understand or comprehend. Archie and Betty’s relationship is more than just lust/sex (like Varchie) or escapism (like Bughead). It’s an emotional connection that is deep, eternal and transcendent. These two know each other better than anyone else does, and they understand each other better than anyone else. And that’s thanks to them knowing each for a long time since they were kids. Archie and Betty are soulmates IMO. They would bring out the best in each other. Archie and Betty would challenge each other for the positive, and they would keep each other’s dark sides under control. Archie would bring out the best in Betty. He would temper her darkness and bring her into the light. And Betty would stop Archie from making morally questionable decisions. She would pull him back when it’s needed. Let’s not forget that Barchie has been an iconic canon couple in the comics for almost 100 years. Nothing can compete with that, especially not a forced, rushed, fan serviced couple like Bughead, which doesn’t and never has existed in the comics in the first place. On the other hand, Jeronica would be way more exciting and dynamic to watch than Borehead. They have strong on-screen chemistry, and I could buy the two eventually becoming involved romantically because of said chemistry. I think that Jughead and Veronica are overall more compatible because they come from very similar backgrounds. Both of them come from families and environments of organized crime; Jughead comes from a gang family, and Veronica comes from a mob family. Jughead comes from a gang family; Veronica comes from a mob family. Both of them would be able to handle each other’s family backgrounds because both families are situated in organized crime. Jughead can stand up to and challenge someone like Hiram Lodge. And Veronica can handle the Serpent lifestyle because she understands where they are coming from. Other than the similarities in their backgrounds, they have a lot of personality traits in common. Both are intense, outspoken and passionate about things. Both of them are natural born leaders, come from dysfunctional families, have issues expressing vulnerability and their emotions, are afraid of commitment, have serious daddy and mommy issues, are intelligent and manipulative, and have a very nasty streak when angered or provoked. Both have a love and appreciation of literature, film and popular culture. In addition to the many things in common that they have, there’s also the fact that their journeys parallel in each other on the show. Jughead and Veronica are mirror images of each other. They have similar events that happen to both of them throughout the series. And finally, let’s not forget that great and robust chemistry that Jeronica has. It is some of the most robust on-screen chemistry on the show by far. Jeronica has more chemistry than Bughead and Varchie combined, and they hardly share scenes. I think that Jeronica has the potential to be something great if the writers choose to utilize their potential.

I might make a Part 3 Anti-Bughead post soon, but for now, these are another top 5 reasons why I hate Bughead and why I believe that this couple needs to crash and burn. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. ✌️

[sir-adamus]

RWBY timeline

The show doesn’t give us too much reference for how much time has passed in-show, but we do get some indications throughout the show so i’m gonna try and lay them out (and line up some things roughly that were happening around the same time). i’m gonna break things up into seasons as we’re never given specific dates and one of our key frames of reference is gonna be Ruby’s age, as she’s introduced to us in the Red trailer at age 15, and we now know through Chibi that her birthday is the 31st of October, and from there we can roughly map out when everything takes place

everything else under the cut because obviously this got looong

~80AGW

okay so we know the Vytal Festival is held once every two years and has done since the end of the Great War, with the year the series starts being one of those years, and we’re told it’s the 40th Festival since it’s inception, so lets call this year 80AGW (After the Great War)

Winter

so we’ll start at the start - the winter of this year

only a few things happen here, namely the Red trailer/its manga adaptation by Miwa and presumably Weiss’s training with Winter in the flashback segments of the Weiss Character Short (but it’s Atlas so it could be later). the White trailer/its manga adaptation by Miwa could also potentially happen here

Spring

quite a lot happens here - so its best to bullet point from here out

White trailer/Miwa manga chapters 3 & 4 - time of year unclear, may be set not long before the start of school year as the purpose of the fight is Jacques (or rather his secretary) ‘testing’ Weiss, intending that she lose so she’ll go to Atlas Academy where Jacques can still have control over her, instead of Beacon, where she wants to go

Black trailer/Miwa manga chapters 5 & 6 - set at the same time as the flashback in 3x07 and the flashback of Blake’s V5 Character Short (that it’s set in Forever Fall doesn’t help, though 3x07 helps suggests it’s not winter and could be early spring)

Yang V5 Character Short - Yang mentions she’ll be starting at Beacon 'soon’ but evidently the two are still under the impression that Ruby will be staying at Signal this year. seems to be set around spring time

Yellow trailer/Miwa manga chapters 7, 8 & 9 - not long prior to 1x01 (as we see Roman hiring Junior’s thugs)

1x01 - not long after Yellow trailer, implied to not be very long before beginning of the semester

the assumption that these all take place in Spring is based on that during the school year we see, several months do pass and it ends in Autumn/Fall (though still before the end of October, we’ll get to that), so Spring is what makes the most sense here. now we get into the Semesters - the first semester seems to span Spring-Summer given the very temperate weather we see in Vale during this time

- Semester 1 (spring - summer)

Volume 1 - starts not long after the main events of 1x01. takes place over most of the course of this semester (episodes 2-10 being the first three days, then skipping some time further). within this, the non-Red trailer parts of manga chapters 1/2 occur, happening sometime not long after 1x10, detailing an event of Jaune getting bullied by Cardin, and Ruby fighting in the training arena for the first time (there’s a slight retcon with Ruby only deciding to wear her hood over her uniform after this event)

Summer

this semester takes place over a few months - this is when the preparations for the Vytal festival begin, and exchange students begin arriving, Ruby comments that it’s been “a few months” since she ran into Torchwick in 1x15

this episode also gives us a sense that the semesters at the other academies must occur in parallel with each other, as Cinder makes her reappearance, along with Emerald and Mercury, at the end of volume 1. we learn in volume 5 that they used Lionheart to get entrance into the tournament, and as the Haven students would notice a team they’d never met before representing them, the implication is that the posing as students was happening at Haven itself before they arrived back in Vale - this also serves as an explanation for why Cinder wasn’t directly involved in volume 1 and an in-universe explanation for why Neo wasn’t around to help Roman out, because she was the fourth teammate (and being used as blackmail against Roman no doubt) - this will be important later

a short time after 1x16, we get the flashforward at the end of chapter 6 of the Miwa manga, with Blake waking up having dreamed the events of the Black trailer and Yang getting extreme cuteness proximity over Blake’s ears

at some point following this, chapters 10-15 of the Miwa manga occur, depicting a training mission set after 1x16 (evidenced by Penny’s appearance, mention of her having been 'influenced’ by something - implied to be Ruby - and Roman scouting out the tunnels he will eventually be moving his operation into under Cinder’s orders); RWBY and JNPR fight a Grimm that fuses together 4 King Taijitu into a hydra-esque monster; said Grimm was originally living in the tunnels leading to Mountain Glenn’s undercity, and was accidentally released by Roman

- Semester 2 (summer-autumn/fall)

when the show resumed in volume 2, we’re told there’s been a minimum of a two week break since the last semester ended (Ruby mentions that “the last two weeks have been great” but that might not necessarily have been their entire holiday, for all we know Ruby and Yang went home to visit their dad)

2x01 starts the day before semester 2 starts, Ruby mentions that the tournament marking the end of the Vytal festival is at “the end of the year” as preface for how “our second semester is going to be great!”. this establishes that volumes 2 and 3 occur within the same semester (and this is going to be important later), and while yeah, there’s a season change, we know from volume 1 that semesters span ‘months’ (which does make it seem like there’s a two long semester school year and then they have winter off)

Volume 2 has a much more contained timeframe compared to volume 1, taking place over the course of a couple of weeks and Vytal festivities beginning, starting with the dance prior to first year students beginning to take on real missions around the Kingdom - it’s unclear if classes are still in session after this point for First Years (as higher year groups like CFVY are already on missions before this point)

Grimm Eclipse takes place somewhere between volumes 2 and 3, and lasts a couple of days, detailing another mission team RWBY took on (JNPR are DLC for the game, so their presence isn’t canon) against the mutant Grimm created by Dr Merlot, who also had a big hand in the destruction of Mountain Glenn (i’m just adding flavour text at this point)

Autumn/’Fall’

volume 3 wastes no time in establishing that we’re now in the tail end of the year - the leaves have turned, they’re falling, we get mention that the weather has gotten colder right before Ruby establishes that it is fall at this point

we also know that it’s happening before the end of October, as Ciel gives Ruby’s age in her profile of her and mentions that she’s 15 (and Ruby doesn’t move to correct her on that)

the volume itself is very tightly contained, with most of it taking place over the course of about 5 days (i’m gonna be using episodes as reference points but there’s some overlap)

- Day 1, 3x01 - 3x03: RWBY vs ABRN, JNPR vs BRNZ and SSSN vs NDGO and Winter arriving and Qrow causing a ruckus all happening on the same day (this also establishes that Qrow’s been on mission since at least before the volume 1 finale, as we got his message about Salem having pawns way back in 1x16)

- Day 2, 3x04: Takes place the next day, depicting the first of the doubles rounds EM vs CY, Qrow’s talk with Yang and Ruby and Winter’s talk with Weiss, and ending as Winter leaves

- Day 3, 3x05: next day, PC vs CD, WY vs FN, Cinder finds out about Penny (it’s dark outside the window in this scene compared to the next scene which is still late afternoon)

- Day 4, 3x06 - 3x07: Pyrrha gets her entire reality shattered, Yang vs Mercury later in the evening and how that all ended up

- Day 5, 3x08 - 3x12 (pre-timeskip): literally everything else happens in the same day

Ruby wakes up from her silver-eyes induced coma, implied to be a few days later

Winter

there’s a time skip in 3x12 that jumps to wintertime, when Ruby leaves with JNR to go to Haven, following Qrow’s tipoff. this means that Ruby is 16 from this point on - and she visits Summer’s grave, creating a bookend with the Red trailer. it’s unclear when exactly she left, it could’ve been December, it could’ve been as late as February, we don’t know

~81AGW

Spring

Ruby’s volume 4 character short, which features a village on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Vale (confirmed by Kerry) being attacked by Grimm, Ruby notices and goes in to clear the place - this is the earliest confirmed point in the second year of the show (as the winter sections of the volume 3 finale could still be happening in the first year, we got no clarification) but probably not too long after the volume 3 finale (although long enough for the snow to have melted) given how RNJR are still in Vale at this point, they hadn’t even left the Kingdom let alone the continent

now before we get to Summer, i just wanna point out a few things about the synchronicity of the arcs for each character in volumes 4 and 5:

the events of volume 4  for each character are actually all pretty self-contained to a few weeks (because they don’t make sense if they spanned any longer), they’re just not in sync with each other (though Yang’s and Weiss’s are close), and all appear to end not long before each character’s start in volume 5

Blake starts volume 4 having only just recently gotten on to the ship to Menagerie - it seems to be spring/summer time, given that she’s already dressed for warmer weather (and this arc ends not long before the 'present’ sections of her character short and the beginning of her section in volume 5, which is two months before the start of the Fall Semester at Haven, which further suggests summer time) and her abilities have evidently taken a leap - it’s possible the reason it’s taken so long for her to leave the continent is she’d been traveling to the eastern side of the continent on foot and then got on a ship there, which’d explain the advancement in her abilities and the necessity for the new outfit. Blake’s arc is, however, a few weeks ahead of everyone elses, with things wrapping up in Menagerie two weeks before the events at Haven which the other protags were only a few days away from

Summer

Ruby and JNR’s story starts with 4x01, where they’re helping out another village (so likely summer time, as this arc ends with them getting a lift to Mistral and Qrow recovering, with volume 5 starting not long after that, and that’s a month before the beginning of the Fall Semester)

Yang’s arc also seems to be summer time, again over the space of a few weeks (weeks are noted to have passed), and ends with a skip to her arriving in Anima, which can’t be too long before her appearance in volume 5 (which is a few weeks after 5x01 for Ruby and JNR, as Oscar notes having had the cane for 'a few weeks’ before Yang and Weiss arrive) 

as mentioned Weiss’s arc was more or less parallel to Yang’s, seeming to take place over a few weeks and ending not long before where she was at the beginning of volume 5 (and she can’t have been with the bandits too long before Yang showed up - they were planning on ransoming her and she was planning on breaking out with her summon) 

In 5x01, Haven is noted to not be in session a month prior to the Fall semester starting. The commentary for this volume notes that they are between semesters at this point, not school-years, thus suggesting a month-long gap (at least) between semesters

While a month passes in Ruby’s timeline by the end of this volume, two days before the Fall semester, it still appears to be Summer time, as the leaves haven’t begun to turn (Mistral is in a similar east-west lateral line as Vale and a fairly temperate climate on a mountain, the effects of Autumn should have set in by this time) - this makes sense when you remember that the semesters of the Academy school years more or less line up with each other; so the Fall semester has to line up with Beacon’s second semester, which means the battle for Haven is taking place roughly a year after volume 2′s Best Day Ever

now we move on to our latest volume, volume 6

now despite the snowy setting, only two weeks have passed in-universe, as confirmed in 6x01. the reason for the sudden climate difference is that the heroes are going from the more temperate regions of Mistral to the colder, snowier parts of the continent in the north

this also places most of the events of the volume about a year after the dance arc - just for reference, we’re still a couple months out from Ruby’s 17th birthday at least (i know Lindsay’s said on two occasions that Ruby is now seventeen, but a couple of points against that; the timeline the show gives us doesn’t support it, it’s not direct word of god and both times Lindsay was answering a question quickly, which means it’s not great confirmation as it’s hard to answer accurately when you’re on a time limit or distracted and without reference materials to confirm it)

and it’s actually pretty easy to determine this, because here’s what Patch looked like in volume 3 Fall, prior to Ruby’s birthday

and here’s how Patch looks at the beginning of the Fall semester

these are very clearly not the same time of year

volume 6 itself has a case of the main plot taking place over about 4 days (day 1, everything from the Argus Limited to finding Brunswick farms, episodes 1-5. day 2, escaping Brunswick and arriving in Argus, episodes 6-7. day 3, trying to reason with Cordovin, JNR getting caught up with the plot and Oscar disappearing and getting a new outfit, episodes 8-10. day 4 - which could be a few days later, but not necessary - pretty much the rest of the volume and ending with arriving in Atlas that night) and then other plots going on at different times

- Adam’s slaughter of the remaining White Fang is some point in the two week time skip, as we see him with his new blindfold - it’s hard to see under the hood but you can see it - during the Argus Limited attack, presumably he just waited in Argus for Blake to show up again, as his appearance in 6x07 was a hallucination, as evidenced by his vol 1-3 outfit and mask

- Cinder arrives in Little Miss Malachite’s territory a month after the Battle of Haven, already a few weeks behind the team, and she’s attacked by and forms an alliance with Neo a week later. their progress involves trekking back to Haven and then stealing an airship, so it’s difficult to pinpoint where they are timelinewise right now

- everything with Salem and the other villains happens at some point in between these two events, as by process of elimination, Hazel was ‘the big guy’ asking after RWBY that Little Miss’s bodyguard mentioned having arrived a week prior - as this is pretty much the only way he’d know that Ozpin’s taking the lamp to Atlas

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p10 reaction

So, with little fanfare, we've passed the point in time that is the Masterpiece.

I wonder if John's next interaction with the outside world will be granting himself retcon powers, or whether from his perspective the next thing is being summoned by Vriska. That being said, I wonder how Vriska will react to seeing these people emerge from the house artefact, you'd think she'd be very surprised. Will John & co. have felt it to be hours from their perspective, being trapped? Or longer? Can't have been years, or their relative age difference wouldn't matter any more.

Also, is Davepetasprite^2 nearby for their confrontation with LE? If not, this definitely won't be the final showoff! But if she is, well... I wonder how things turn out, this almost can't already be it for Lord English. Then again, if the perspective now switches back to Earth C for a long time, by the time we switch back the plot could be culminating.

I also wonder if there will be any interaction with the people outside the Black Hole's event horizon (I know, contradiction in termini there). Like, post-retcon Aradia, who'd been watching the mayhem unfold.

---

"Jane Crocker sweeps into her office" Well then. That answers that. Mary Poppins-style entry for them, then? :P Courtyard Droll isn't around to be wielding an umbrella, fortunately.

I'm interested to get a good look into her mind, given all we've heard said about the state of Earth C, and Dave's mistrust in her. Also wondering how her relationship with her Dad has evolved over the years. Wouldn't at all be surprised if he was still leaving supportive notes as well as confectionary in her office.

Blaperile has a good point, Dirk might be coming around, being her campaign manager. Their relationship was always interesting, due to the similarities to as well as the differences with John & Dave's.

"The sun cuts through her venetian blinds, painting butter-yellow strips of light all the way from one end of her impeccably tailored office to the other." In other words, exactly the state in which a private investigator likes their office to brood. :P Stations may change but demeanors don't do as quickly.

"It’s a lovely day, like most days, so not terribly remarkable except for the horrid news that she has just received at her customary morning press conference." There's competition afoot and its name is Vantas.

"[Jane] brushes her hands over her hips to smooth the wrinkles out of her powder-blue pencil skirt. Then she hems, haws, puffs out her cheeks, and takes a very deep breath before snatching a pillow off the nearest couch so that she can scream into it." So majestic. And such a Jane thing to do, too (even though Rose started the whole screaming into pillows for Homestuck), remember the time she was being 'supportive' when Jake was contemplating Dirk's affections? Both times, really.

"There are, surely, a multitude of ways for a person to find out that an acquaintance is running against you in a presidential election. From a carapacian reporter, in front of twenty-six other members of the interspecies press, was not the method Jane would have personally chosen." Welp. Well, yeah, it stood to reason Dave wasn't going to say anything, given his misgivings about her. 27 reporters, huh. Kinda wondering about how representative they were to the entirety of the populace. All the bigwig stations must've been represented, of course, but then it would seem humanity has an overly large representation in those already.

"She cannot believe that Karkat would do this to her. This is no longer a political fiat (which the election would surely have been had she run uncontested by any other civilization-founding celebrities) but rather a battle between “friends.” What did Vantas think he was doing?" Well, uh, it seems that he's giving you fair competition where you seemed to be of the idea there wouldn't be any. That's not really a good starting point for a politician, Jane. Seems like her business-minded attitude is indeed influencing her campaign strategy.

"This could not have possibly been Karkat’s idea." Yeah, I'd thought she'd be on to it quickly.

"He is not cut out for politics, neither intellectually nor in the very important matter of social constitution. Certainly not when it comes to economic policy. In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun." I was going to say that's unfair of her, but then she's never known Karkat when he's aflame with purpose, only the Karkat that's been hurt too much and suffered too many losses to remain motivated. Also, of course she'd "think of the economy" first. :P That's hilarious given Dave's concerns.

"Wait. Jane lowers the pillow from her face and stares at her brass-and-glass art deco ceiling. Was that vampire thing xenophobic against Kanaya?" Well, at least we know that IF Jane's really xenophobic, as Dave fears, she's trying to become aware of when she is and doing something about it. Of course, trying and succeeding are two different things - just as Karkat.

As for it being hurtful, well... Good thing she never met Game Over Kanaya, she might have had some objections to death-by-light-from-above.

"Dave was certainly no Dirk Strider, no Rose Lalonde, no Roxy, but he had that same scheming gene, buried deep down beneath his transparent onion layers of posturing and, frankly, rather outdated humor. An instinct to plan." Well, I wouldn't have said as much - if it was genetically determined there's no reason Dave couldn't have just not inherited those genes. But then, I'm all here to see Dave's take on scheming, sure. He's had a great example in John planting ideas about apple juice in his head. The bar is already set.

"And despite being inarguably the dimmest of his family’s impressive ecto-biological stock...

Oh, dear. Stock. That’s likely a problematic word, isn’t it?" Yep, seems like Jane really is trying. Can't believe I'm saying this, but if Kankri were here, he might have some good advice for her. A lot of bad, too, but still.

"Despite being the least mentally gifted member of his family" Eesh, okay, but she's still got a lot of prejudices to work out.

"Dave has always had an awful lot of opinions on the economy. In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking." Well, I guess he's really, REALLY concerned. Can't blame the guy, though, but poor Jane, Rose knows what that's like, being on the other side of that trailing, lumbering monologuing. At least Rose's monologue's don't meander. :P

"carapacians were widely known to be swayed by underdog populism." That's because their civilisation was founded by WV, isn't it?

"And the consorts? Who had even given them the right to vote in the first place? In any other year..." Oh, so... Does that mean the consorts only got their right to vote so recently, after 5000 years. That's... Well, that might just be indicative that until recently, their political activism was nothing to write home about.

Jane starts to chew a pencil and it's just so FITTING for her, she's so fidgety, it's probably how Jade ended up being so giddy.

"In any other year, this wouldn’t be a problem. She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal." ... Eesh, so, yeah, that confirms that Karkat's godhood isn't expected to be eternal, unlike the humans. They could be wrong about it.

But what is so special about the current year, is the political situation on Earth C THAT volatile, or is Jane aware of things about to unfold on a cosmic scale - or even pan-cosmic, if she knows about the events back in canon with the Black Hole 'n all.

"But Earth C’s paper-thin idyllic history was very close to a boiling point—its very first boiling point, in fact, which will have everything to do with the problematic nature of troll reproduction." Ahhhh, right. So that's why she's aiming for the reigns. Didn't think her 'political takeover' had so moral reasons. ... Or, well, at least humanitarian.

"The first generation of natural-born trolls obviously cannot be entrusted to a troll." ...

Well that's just cruel. I know she'll have reasons given troll history on Alternia and B2 Earth alike, but it's their purpose as gods to change the world for the better, together.

Guess now we get to see the parts of her thinking that gave Dave reason to brand her a fascist, semi-serious or not.

"The citizens of Earth C were able to rest easy knowing that the government held careful rein over the... well, over matters of equity. No one could possibly trust something so important to a troll, knowing what everyone knew about their violent history." So it's the hemospectrum she fears would be reinstated. She's equating their biology with their ideology then, thinking natural-born trolls are fundamentally more oppressive as to those birthed through scientific means. Oooh boy. That's a whole steaming pot of problematic thinking.

"Jane presses her eyes shut and runs her fingers along the fine-grain patterns in her mahogany-paneled desk. She is about to think something that she has promised herself never to think again. In fact, she is about to say it—this horrible, ghoulish, girlish thought that used to rule her world and make her so terribly weak. The shameful thought is expressed out loud in the form of a defeated sigh." ... Is it... "I wish Dad was here?" Even if he's still alive, she might have tried to become her own woman, cutting more ties than is healthy.

"JANE: I need Jake." Pfffff, okay, yeah, that I understand. She needs his support to swing the voters. Guess Jane is also trying very hard to be "over him", just like Jake with Dirk. I can see how well that is going for her. Now I wonder how the Nannasprites are doing.

"She spins around and, still sitting on her desk, presses a familiar entry on her phone’s contact list." Either it's Jake and it's familiar to her because she still looks at it ten times every day, or Dirk's because they get along so well and are working together on her campaign.

"JAKE: Ahoy ahoy!" ... Yeah, this is going to be so cumbersome for Jane, I can just feel it, her old feelings now causing quite the opposite response towards everything that makes Jake who he is.

"the ol’ horse tranquilizer trick." Just... just how many times has Dirk pulled this on him already? And how many more times is Jake willing to go through with their show?

"JAKE: Which i suppose i should have seen coming, as dirk has ended all of our matches in this fashion for the past week." ... Jake. Jake, honey, you need a coach. A non-robotic one. Or settle for a non-shitty spirit guide. I know that narrows it down to basically zero, as far as sprites are concerned, but still.

"JANE: Oh dear. That sounds absolutely terrible, Jake. Is there anything I can do to help?" I wouldn't like it if Jane keeps pretending to care for Jake if there wasn't any truth left to the gesture.

"JAKE: Help? Gadzooks woman! I hardly think myself in need of help. JAKE: Its a jolly good adventure working with someone so predictably unpredictable as our good friend dirk!" Then again, it would be hard not to get exasperated by all of this... airheadedness, well meaning as it is.

"You would think that Jake enjoyed the sadomasochistic nature of his and Dirk’s personal and professional relationships. Judging from the last conversation about election strategy with Dirk, he seems to be perfectly aware of this feature of Jake’s personality. You can’t be too nice when courting his endorsement, Dirk would say. He doesn’t respond to nice." So Dirk is still being rather methodical in his interactions with Jake. :/ But I mean, Jake does respond better to challenges, at least initially. He appears not be scared off/by Dirk though, I wonder how he's worked through his feelings about their breakup?

"something big and hollow and metal connecting with Jake’s head. When Jake comes back to the phone, he’s yelling into it." Jake's life is just like a cartoon on even the best of days, isn't it?

"I appreciate very much that you have called me out of the blue to say such nice things to me with no ulterior motive!

From anyone else, this would have been a portentous statement. However, Jane knows that Jake English could not have possibly meant this with anything but the utmost sincerity." Well, I wouldn't mind it for Jake to have developed a level of self-awareness, but yeah... That's unlikely by now, isn't it?

"JAKE: Because i must note that although i try to stay sporting about what comes at me, i cant say that i am chuffed about how much of my correspondence lately has to do with the marketing of my image. JAKE: Its beginning to feel like all people want from me is to stick my derriere on a signpost for their own profit." ... Well, okay, he's become self-aware to the extent he realizes people idolize him and pine for his affections. But that's just because he was so very much affected by that during the session. It'll take a lot longer for him to pick up on more subtle and rarer things, though.

"It must be so difficult. For you more than the rest of us, due to your, let’s say... JANE: Natural gifts? JAKE: Huh?" Well, guess he doesn't realize his good looks yet, at least.

"JANE: But you know that I have always wanted what’s best for you, right? JANE: And I am ready to give that to you. JAKE: To give me what? JANE: The best, Jake. The very best." That could be very ominous, "what's best for you". But what would it be if it were sincere? A way to follow in his Grandma's footsteps, while ensuring he doesn't blunder and blow up anyting unintentionally?"

Jake is quiet a moment, and Jane can hear the rusty gears turning in his head." Insert "*thinking*" smiley here.

"JANE: You should stop by to see me this evening! JAKE: Do you mean my evening or yours? Were in different time zones right now and i dare say that the sun just went down here so if you wanted to have a soiree on my time youve missed your chance." It'd be a fair question, assuming Jane could've been in his neighbourhood. I'm sure their meetup won't go quite as nefarious as pretending they're dating to the press, right? ... Right, Jane?"

Jane feels her fake smile flexing so hard that it was beginning to hurt. Oh yes, she loved this man in basically every category that you could possibly love a person, but sometimes talking to him is like trying to build a house of cards while riding a mechanical bull." Ah, so they were facetiming? :P Note the past tense in 'loved'. :/ Well, old flames do still elicit feelings of friendship, a lot of times.

"JANE: Mine, of course! I’ll have the best year of your favorite crocodile-made scotch flown in from the Consort Kingdom and we’ll have a little catch-up.

Jake actually hates scotch, and only drinks it for appearance’s sake. But for this—for this unbelievably pivotal moment in the history of the planet that they created with their bare hands—Jane is willing to spend a few thousand boonbucks to watch her old friend pretend to sip at the same glass for a couple of hours while prattling on." So: A) Crocodiles might be living in Scotland, if the scotch authentic. Highlander Crocs in kilts and playing bagpipes. Glorious. B) Boonbucks are the currency running the economy, which explains how they can all be so rich. Of course, their influx of cash could've disrupted the economy, but if it had Dave's would've already complained about it. C) Guess there's never been something as disruptive to happen to Earth C as the Mother Grub, then. Not even natural disasters. D) Plan Fake Date is apparently, actually going to happen.

"Time to work your magic, Crocker." Magic being ruthless business-minded political scheming, I hope. Since she's serving Jake drinks he doesn't like, it'll all be for pretense, down to the drinks too. But I wouldn't like to be in Jake's shoes if she starts to fake-fancying him.

[meanderings0ul]

Philinda & Timelines

I wrote most of this in a more disorganized form a few months back, but now I’ve fleshed it out and done some more calculations. I hope it might be interesting to fans of these characters or useful for those who write fic for them. I personally like to have some dates and characterization timelines to look at when writing fics set in a “real world” type show, so I generally keep some notes for myself in word docs. Here I just kinda dove into it. 

I don’t go into plot timeline details here because I just don’t care. Marvel does an incredibly shit job of taking travel time and medical times into account. They can try and convince me something happened in two weeks, but I’m always going to ignore it. This uses info from the show itself and from an online date calculator. I am mostly not pulling from the various wikis. The wikis are great for trivia, but they are massively self-contradictory due to tie-in comics, stuff said in various interviews, etc. It’s Marvel. [Edited 03/20 to finally include workable theories for Captain Marvel]

*

Phil Coulson was born July 8, 1964. This makes his sun sign Cancer and his Chinese zodiac year the Dragon. He was an active and outgoing kid who wished he had a brother to play with. His dad died or was killed in 1973. Coulson was only 9 years old. They’d either finished restoring Lola together earlier that year or in 1972. It is implied in season 2 that he and his mother moved after the death, either to a different part of the town or somewhere else entirely as he did not attend the high school his father worked at. Coulson finished high school and went to college to study history, both because that was the subject his dad taught and because he was always a giant history nerd. He worked as a lifeguard as a teenager. We do not know anything about his mother’s work or their relationship when she was alive. A research project into the S.S.R. brought him to Shield’s attention. He was recruited from college by Nick Fury, an agent at the time.

Melinda May was born November 20, 1965 (a reference from the scanned back-page of a tie-in comic I cannot find again - Fury’s Secret Files from somewhere I think). Obviously, they’ve just used Ming’s birthday with a different year to parallel the actors. Her birth location is always listed as classified, so it’s possible her mother was involved with something for the CIA at the time. Her sun sign is Scorpio and her birth year in the Chinese zodiac is the snake. May always picked up new physical activities quickly according to her dad in S3. She started ice-skating at 7 and quickly began skating competitively. At 12 she switched from skating to martial arts. May has a trusting relationship with both her parents. We don’t know anything about when they seemingly separated, decided to live separately for Reasons, or got divorced. There is around a year unaccounted for between when she most likely graduated high school and when she likely joined Shield. She might have joined against her mother’s wishes. We know nothing of how she was recruited.

Star Wars Episode IV came out in May of 1977. Coulson was 12 and May was 10. This is totally relevant information.

These dates mean May is just shy of two years younger than Coulson. More precisely, Coulson is 17 months older.

We know they were at the Academy together (Comms and Ops shared some classes and electives) and graduated at the same time because of 2x4. Comms and Ops would have been in different facilities, though reasonably close together for logistics purposes. There would be a significant amount of overlap for field agent hopefulls. They probably wouldn’t have seen each other every day. They probably usually saw each other multiple times a week, depending on their classes.

They also shared classes with future Agent Blake and Agent Garrett. (It’s important to remember that Agents Hand, Hartley, Sitwell, and Hill are younger in the MCU and did not attend the Academy until the previous four Agents had already left.)

From common practices in American educational law, Coulson very likely started school (kindergarten) in the fall of 1969 (at 5). He would have graduated in 1982 and started college that fall. It is also possible he started school in 1970 (at 6) and graduated in 1983. May likely started school in 1971 at 5 and would have graduated in spring 1984 at 18 or she possibly started school at 1970 at 4 and graduated in 1983 at 17. (At the time, starting kindergarten at 4 years old was common if you would be turning 5 soon. Start ages were lower in the 70s.)

Here’s where a couple different things could have happened.

I’m going to move forward here with the (imo) more likely graduation ages for them both. These aren’t official. These events could have happened a year earlier or a year later, but anything more than that would be very unlikely.

It’s spring 1984. Coulson just finished his sophomore year of college and is about to turn 21. May just graduated high school at 18.

We know the Shield Academies at this point were legitimate in the eyes of the U.S. Government, though mostly under the radar. There was enough of a structured curriculum schedule in place we know they had a yearbook (as of season 5). Taking on recruits under 18 generally requires parental permission, as Shield is still paramilitary.

Option 1 - Coulson’s research has already drawn Shield’s attention and he is approached by Fury. Someone recruits May or she becomes aware of Shield some other way. They start at the Shield academies fall of 1984. They are 21 and 18 when they join.

Option 2 - Coulson continues through his junior year of college. His research into the S.S.R. draws Shield’s attention. Fury goes to recruit him. May spends a year doing any number of things. Her mother might want her to pursue the CIA. May picks Shield. They start at the Shield academies fall of 1985. They are 22 and 19 when they join.

Option 3 - Coulson is about to finish college when he draws the attention of Shield and is recruited by Fury. May is an unknown for two years. They start at the Shield academies fall of 1986. They are 23 and 20 when they join.

Star Trek IV (the whale movie) came out in November of 1986. Coulson was 23 and May was just 21. This is also totally relevant information.

Let’s say MCU Shield’s training program lasted 3-4 years. (Fitzsimmons strongly implied in season 1 Seeds that Scitech usually took about four years.)

The absolute earliest (3 years) May and Coulson (and Garrett) should have been in the field was 1987/1988/1989. Their most likely brand-new Level 1 Agent year was 1988/1989/1990.

Coulson and May were most likely Level 1 agents at 23 and 21/24 and 22/25 and 23.  

The Sausalito mission mentioned in episode 2x4 probably happened later in 1988/1989/1990.

John Garrett, who they were trained with, was injured in Sarajevo and became a Project Deathlok subject in 1990. He probably was only Level 2. He’d only been an agent 2-3 years maximum.

We knew from season 1 that Coulson’s mom Julie was long gone. The wiki puts her death as September 22, 1992, exactly 19 years after her husband’s death. Coulson was only 28.  

This is where I take issue with one of the semi-official dates. Big issue.

We got a flashback to a younger Agent Coulson and Agent May in season 4. May was a Level 3 specialist and Coulson was recently Level 4. We know they knew each other pretty well at that point, enjoyed each other’s company, and also frequently went weeks or months without seeing each other. They worked on missions separately and together and kept track of each other through company gossip. It’s at this point in their lives that a little, badly-kept-secret, mutual crush is going on that is ultimately not pursued for multiple reasons. They stay close friends and work partners for the next 10-15 ish years.

Parts of the wiki claims this flashback was to 2003. However, this is basically a retcon and in my oh so professional and classy-sounding opinion is just dumber than fuck. (Also, that date was never used in the episode.)

The absolute latest Coulson and May started as field agents was 1990. So *13 years* later they’re still Level 3? I don’t think so. Level 1 is your entry level. Anyone who is performing well is only going to stay there 1-3 years max. Level 2 is your no longer a noob level. If you’re doing great work let’s say people stay there 2-5 years. Agents would stay longer in Levels 3/4/5 than Levels 1 and 2.

Let’s be generous and give them 5 years at Levels 1 and 2. It could have easily been 4, maybe even 3 depending on how fast they got their groove after the whole “in the bay for five hours” thing. Coulson and May logically made it to Level 3 anywhere around 1993/1994/1995.

The Captain Marvel movie makes dubious use of existing aos canon, but if we use the perspective that Phil is a brand new Level 3 field agent instead of one fresh out of the Academy (which is completely incompatible with aos’s timeline) than we can say Phil and May were new level 3 agents sometime early in 1995. 

A sensible placement for the Russian 0-8-4 mission would be anywhere from late 1995-1997. With Phil having recently made Level 4 (strongly implied the the flashback), I would suggest 1996 or 1997 as the most likely placement. 

From the tie-in comics, MCU Agent Barton is recruited by Nick Fury around this same time, Agent Romanoff “recruited’ by him a few years later.

By 2003, both Coulson and May should have advanced a Level again and be taking on more complex missions. Strike Team Delta is part of Shield now. Fury is Director.

The Bahrain mission happened in 2008. Coulson was likely a Level 6 operative and May would be Level 5. Coulson took a lot of orders from a lot of people in episode 2x17. I highly doubt he was Level 7 at that point. The agent in charge of the operation, Agent Hart, was one of the ones Katya took over. Big Shield headquarters forbade Coulson from sending May into the building. He gave her the clear to go anyway and covered for her. May was 42. Coulson was 43 or 44.

May worked on administration for mostly Level 3s in the basement of the Triskelion for the next 4.5 years. This does not mean she became a lower ranking agent; you would likely want a higher-than-3 managing your level 3s.

Coulson is sent to make contact with Tony Stark later in 2008. At some point he advances to Level 7 then 8. Given Shield viewed the Bahrain rescue as a legendary success, not knowing how it unfolded, it is reasonable to think Coulson was promoted to 7 shortly afterwards. 

Coulson died on the Helicarrier on May 4th, 2012 during The Incident. He was 47. May was 46 when she found out he was dead.

When we met them in season 1, Coulson was recently 49 (technically…) and May was 47. May is a Level 7 agent and Coulson remains Level 8.

After season 5 they are on a beach in Tahiti. Coulson is 54 and May is 52. They’ve known each other 34/33/32 years.

*

Now, I’ve tried to structure this whole thing in a way that should you want to change their school-dates and use any of the three options you should be able to go through and add/subtract from the existing numbers pretty easily. So I hope that’s useful if you’ve been trying to math and write fic or if there’s just been general confusion.

I greatly prefer to write from the Option 2 set, with adjustments made for Captain Marvel. That just makes the most sense to me as far as events we know about from season one and the other life events for these characters. So if you’ve read any of my stuff, this is generally where I’m coming from.

I really hope this was useful and interesting. I spent far too much time on it.

[ardenttheories]

How do First Guardians even have their powers in the first place. It honestly feels like the term nigh-omnipotent is tossed around a lot in Homestuck, the First Guardians, Lord English, John after he gets his retconning abilities. Like how strong are they exactly?

First Guardians are a bit complex, because the two most prominent First Guardians - Doc Scratch and Bec - show different instances of First Guardian creation, action, and reasoning for action. 

A sequence of codes is required for something to become a First Guardian; for Doc Scratch, this is 8r8k H34DS (courtesy of Team Scourge), t1ck t0ck (courtesy of Team Charge), and honk HONK (courtesy of Gamzee), all from a doomed timeline wherein Gamzee went Sober prior to them actually completing the game/reaching the meteor. For Bec, this is the MEOW/GCAT code (courtesy of Rose)

This code then has to be combined with something else. The most obvious example of this is Bec; Diamonds Droog, as the Draconian Dignitary, attempts to appearify Halley prior to his death, creates a paradox, and instead paradoxifies him. He types in the MEOW/GCAT code, stolen from Rose’s journals, which then merges with the paradox slime, and creates an imperfect clone of Halley imbued with the energy contained within the MEOW/GCAT code; this is how Bec is created. 

The same thing happens with Doc Scratch, to a lesser extent. The Black Queen attempts to appearify an all-knowing cue ball and Lil Cal, creates a paradox, and paradoxifies them instead. She then merges the paradox slime with the code she found from the ~Ath book, Team Charge’s journals, and Team Scourge’s journals - the 8r8k H34DS t1ck t0ck honk HONK code - and from this combination comes Doc Scratch. 

Doc Scratch’s code is significantly more complex, requiring six distinct components to complete it, whereas Bec’s is a much more simple GCAT code (although it does contain all variants of GCAT with the letters in different orders). Bec is also created from the ghost slime imprint of a dog, whereas Doc Scratch is made specifically from an all-knowing cue ball and Lil Cal, both things which are completely inanimate. 

I’ve seen someone suggest that First Guardians must be made from things which are living, and that Doc Scratch works simply because the Lil Cal he’s made from contains the souls of Hal, Equius, half of Gamzee, and Caliborn, and that the reason he’s so much more prominent as a First Guardian is because he had humanoid souls to have as a basis of his foundation. 

This would imply that First Guardians who are made from the species of a planet which are capable of higher thinking are more powerful than those who are made from less intelligent beings. So a First Guardian based on a Human would be a more powerful guardian compared to one based on a squirrel - although, if we take GCAT as an example, the truth is more likely that First Guardians based on animals retain their animalistic traits and simply work their actual powers around them, whereas more humanoid Guardians act in a way we would see as more “active” and “efficient”. 

This, for instance, is the difference between Doc Scratch manipulating Vriska and Aradia through text to reach his end goal, and Bec sort of wandering off with Jade on his back when he knows a present from John will appear. They are still doing the same job, but I think the animal Guardians are a bit more to the point with it. 

When it comes to actual powers, it’s… complicated. 

To some degree, First Guardians will always know what is going to happen in relation to the game and what route needs to be taken in order for things to happen. Bec innately knowing that John’s present will appear on Jade’s birthday years in the past, thus being the reason why they are even friends in the first place, is an example of this; Jade and John need to be friends for the game to make sense, and so Bec creates an instance wherein Jade finds out about John’s existence through a stable time loop (John sends a present to Jade containing his chumhandle, ghostytrickster, some pumpkin seeds to help with her garden, and a shirt in her favourite colour, which is sent back in time; Bec takes a young Jade to find it, who then gains a passion for gardening and for the colour blue, things which she did not have prior to that present arriving; she then seeks out the chumhandle on the letter the presents came from, and meets John). 

That is really the main point of a First Guardian; ensuring the game is created, that the main players always exist, that they are created in the first place (something we see in more detail with Doc Scratch), and completing stable time loops to ensure that all of these things happen. 

For instance, yes, Bec prototyping himself was an incredibly bad idea, because that then created Bec Noir. However, this then meant that when Jade died, Bec Noir had confusing feelings over her death and immediately took her to her Quest Bed, thereby ensuring she reached godtier - something that may not have happened had Jack Noir not been prototyped with Bec. And as we know, Jade godtiering is vital to her and John being able to make it to the alpha session with Skaia and their planets, which ends up being their only way to actually beat the game. It was also the only way to ensure that Jack Noir had a way to cause enough damage to the beta session to require a Scratch, which then flung him into the trolls’ session, which then required the two sessions to work together to turn their doomed sessions into one viable session. 

One tiny action by Bec essentially completed every timeloop within Homestuck. That’s the power of a First Guardian. 

In a more literal sense, they also have the same sort of abilities a Space player has, though the most prominent seems to be the ability to teleport themselves and other things around them. However, Bec specifically seems to have a very powerful bark attack, maybe indicating that there is a more offensive way for First Guardians to attack. I’d say that’s not really their purpose, though; they’re orchestrators, not warriors.  

In the wider scheme of things, no other being is as powerful as a First Guardian, so long as the Green Sun exists. They are incredibly hard to kill due to their teleporting abilities - after all, you can’t kill what you can’t hit - as well as their importance to the timeline, and the sheer, raw power a First Guardian contains… well, you can see that in Bec Noir. He destroys an entire universe, and every instance of existence within that universe. That’s Lord English levels of destructive - which, ironically, Lord English likely derives some of his powers from Doc Scratch, whom he uses as a host for his birth. 

Their drawback on power, I think, is their inherent lack of initiative. They’re not made to go destroying everything, so they don’t. They just do what they’re meant to, ensuring everything within their instance of the universe runs smoothly. Once they reach a point of importance, that’s them done - for instance, Bec being prototyped was his instance of importance, because after that he is no longer Bec, and the creation of the Green Sun/his own death is the importance of Doc Scratch, because after that he births Lord English. They have no ambitions or ideals beyond what they are meant to do. 

So, logically, Lord English is significantly more powerful than Doc Scratch, but Lord English wouldn’t exist without Doc Scratch. Doc Scratch, should he have wanted to, could have completely set up a series of events in which Lord English was born with severe handicaps that would have made defeating him so incredibly easy it was laughable. He could have set up a timeline in which Lord English simply never existed to begin with - but this would have gone against the concept of Lord English having “always been here”, and thus wouldn’t have created a stable timeloop, so this possibility is simply nonexistent. 

I suppose for no bigger example of how powerful a First Guardian can be as they actually are, think of godtier Jade’s abilities (many of them enhanced by Bec’s own powers), or how Doc Scratch managed to systematically change an entire race’s culture and history to impose a strict governmental ideology on class divisions and militia brutality in order to change the trolls from being like the Beforans into the Alternians. 

A First Guardian will never be as powerful as Lord English in a physical sense, but they are powerful in the sense that Lord English isn’t able to create the timeloops in order to bring himself into creation; he needs Doc Scratch to do that for him. 

I hope that makes sense? It’s hard to really put into words the power of something that isn’t physically powerful, but instead powerful in the strings it pulls and the knowledge it has to pull those strings.