#it is actually sad that obi wan is so busy defending anakin

[comebackali]

The council, pointing at Anakin’s obvious anger issues and deeply problematic relationship with Palpatine: This doesn’t seem right to me.

Obi wan: How dare you?? You have the nerve, the AUDACITY…

[ithebookhoarder]

Reunited (Obi-wan Kenobi x Ex-Jedi Reader)

Summary: What if, like Ahsoka, you were forced to leave the Jedi Order? And Obi-wan comes to find you again after Order 66?

A/N: Thanks to the anon who requested this as I was already working on something similar given the pain the new Kenobi series has caused me. I actually cannot with life, right now. So I apologise in advance for the possible avalanche of Kenobi content coming y’alls way. I am still working on all the other requests I have though! I promise ❤️😅

Masterlist:

----

I feel he’d have been conflicted about whether or not to leave with you, after you chose to make your own way in the world without the order. After all, we know how much he cared for Satine, and he didn’t leave the order for her (even if he said he would have, had she asked) but you couldn’t ask him. 

You can’t blame him for choosing to stay, given how much the Jedi order means to him and the promises he made to Qui-Gon, regarding Anakin who is like a brother and son to him. 

He couldn’t abandon him or his duty to defend people with the republic - it’s who he is, and he wouldn’t be the man you’d fallen in love with if he did. 

That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt though, that you wouldn’t have felt pain and rejection to leave, knowing he won’t come with you. 

But you learn to make peace with it. 

You’d start your life over and for a while, no matter where you end up, you’d find a new way of existing without the Jedi order and without Obi-wan

However, no matter where you ended up, there would be no way you didn’t hear what had happened to the Jedi following Order 66. News like that spreads fast, even to the very edges of the outer rim. 

You’d also feel it, the great unbalance in the force - the pain and suffering being inflicted as they are all but erased. 

As soon as you hear the news, you’d have been distraught. You wonder what has happened to your friends, your family… after all, you knew connections and attachments were forbidden but it had been impossible not to form them with the group of people you spent every waking minute beside. It doesn’t make any sense and you feel anger and guilt at not being there to help them or protect them.

You also struggle to understand what had happened and how no one had seen it coming. It would leave you questioning everything you knew or remembered about your time there as you try to make it make sense. 

However, it is only when Obi-wan one days appears on your doorstep that you are able to understand what truly happened. 

You want so badly to be angry at him, to scream and shout and throw things, but the broken man that stands before you wouldn’t be able to handle that. 

There are tears swimming in his eyes that he won’t let fall because he knows once he lets them he won’t be able to stop the flow.

You’re standing there and he’s wanted nothing more than this moment but he can’t move. He’s afraid that if he tries to reach out to you, to touch you, you’ll disappear like everyone else in his life.

“Obi…”

He lifts his head, a sad ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “Hello, Y/N.”

You can’t help it. Both of you would break down in each other’s arms, utterly consumed by too many emotions to even try and begin to process them. 

Eventually, you’d compose yourselves long enough to invite him into your home. 

Busying yourself with making tea and tidying up the place you’ve made your own is a good distraction as you try to fully comprehend the fact that the man you thought you’d never see again is sitting across the room from you. In a way, it feels like old times, even down to the fact you have his favourite blend of tea (a fact he doesn’t mention aloud, but you see his eyes brighten in recognition of the smell as he takes his first sip)

It also makes it easier for him to begin trying to tell you the tale of everything that had happened since you’d left the Order; the words flow easier without your eyes on him, even if you are still giving him your undivided attention, listening closely as you continue stirring your tea over and over and over.

As the story nears its tragic conclusion, you can no longer stand there. You find yourself drawing closer until you are sat beside him, hands holding his as the tears pour from his eyes. 

“I… I killed him… I left him there, writhing in agony… and it was all my fault.”

“No. No, Obi. It wasn’t.”

“I should have seen it coming.” 

“How could you? Not even Master Yoda himself could have foreseen it. Chancellor Palpatine… he tricked us all, and he manipulated Anakin - turned him against us.”

“But by using doubts I did nothing to prevent. Nothing to soothe! That was my job - that was the promise I made and I failed.” 

The tea is soon forgotten, replaced by whatever supply of alcohol you have stashed away (yet another sign of how much the world has turned upside down. After all, Obi never liked to drink if he could help it, and even then it was normally as part of a mission or social event that he’d agree to partake… to see him consuming the bottle in his hand like it was water is a peculiar sight) However, given what he has seen and endured, it isn’t hard to understand. 

“So, Luke is on Tatooine?”

Obi nodded slowly. “Yes… with his uncle, where he’ll hopefully be safe and far away from those who wish him harm, or to use him for their own purposes. Leia is with Bail on Alderaan.”

You agree then and there to help watch over the boy. It is the least you can do for him, and his parents… both of whom you’d loved beyond comprehension. The mere thought of Padmé’s pain and grief is enough to finally tip you over the edge and into another bottle of drink. 

Together you’d grieve… for your friends, for Anakin, and for the time you’ve lost… You simply let it all out, emptying yourselves as you fall apart into a thousand pieces. That way, when you wake the next morning, you can both begin the task of putting yourselves back together again… to construct a new world, a new reality for you both - together. At last.  

It would take some time and adjustments, to learn to live with one another but you’d eventually get there. 

You adapt to the fact that you two can now be together, without the need to hide your relationship. 

You start to remember what it is to laugh at things, to feel joy and not feel guilty for it. 

You also begin to find your own identities, your own purposes, without the Order or the Jedi. 

[nevertheless-moving]

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27 Part Two - Suicidal Misunderstanding AU

Continuation of this 

By the time the hovercar finally pulled into the temple, Obi-Wan’s tremors had mostly quieted. Cody awkwardly manhandled him out the vehicle door. Obi-Wan didn’t resist; he mostly seemed to be dealing with the overwhelming situation by refusing to open his eyes. 

“Master?” Cody absently noticed that Anakin’s robe was tied modestly, with no other layers peaking out underneath; wherever he was before Cody called, he had left half-dressed and in a hurry.

Obi-Wan started shaking again, burying his face into Cody’s pauldron.

“Yeesh- you’re really a wreck,” Anakin observed bluntly but not without sympathy. “Honestly, you’re taking all the fun out of the situation. What’s the point of getting drunk if you act so pathetic that your smug padawan can’t even mock you afterwards?” Anakin hesitantly laid a hand on his master’s shoulder.

It was uncertain whether it was the words or the touch that succeeding in garnering a positive response, but finally Kenobi seemed to pull himself together. With a deep breath, the high general straightened up, opening his eyes to look Skywalker square in the face. He continued to hold eye-contact, expression gradually shifting from steely resolve to open faced delight.

“ANAKIN!” Obi-Wan flung himself at his former padawan with obvious joy. “OH ANAKIN! IT’S YOU! IT’S REALLY YOU!” They staggered with the force of Obi-Wan’s enthusiastic bear hug.

“Were you expecting someone else?” Anakin managed to get out, shocked by his Master’s uncharacteristically loud and emotional greeting, as well as slightly breathless from the intense grip. Obi-Wan didn’t answer; he just held Anakin tighter. 

“Man, what did you drink?” he tried to ask instead, deciding to return the hug fully and deal with any later consequences later.

Obi-Wan shifted back enough to make eye-contact again. His brow furrowed in thought. “Just some Jawa beer to wash down the spice doses.”

“SPICE DOSES?!?” Cody and Anakin both shouted in alarm. Anakin grabbed at Obi-Wan’s face, examining the man’s pupils before pulling back his lip to look at his gums. “You don’t look like you’re dosed up. And the only thing you smell like is middling quality alcohol.” he concluded doubtfully. “Are you sure that’s what you took?”

Obi-Wan stopped to think again “The Jawas that sold it seemed pretty confident. I would be more likely to entertain the possibility that I was ripped off were you not standing here with me.”

“I- Wwhere- When would you have even bought spice from Jawas?” Anakin asked, exchanging bewildered looks with Commander Cody. 

“They seem to like stopping by my hut, even when I don’t have anything to steal or buy. I suppose there’s not many opportunities for sentient contact out on in the wastes,” He mused.

Anakin only looked more confused, reasonably confident that he would have known if Obi-Wan owed a home on Tatooine. 

“Heart rate was slightly elevated to normal on the ride over, sir.” Cody added dutifully. “Well within average human normal, and not consistent with spice use or alcohol poisoning.”

“His presence in the force is... strange,” Anakin said while patting Obi-Wan soothingly on the back. “I’d have to take him to the healers to confirm, but my best guess is he's having a bad reaction to something he drank. There are certain alcohols that can cause side-effects and unexpected reactions in force-sensitives. Though I can’t believe that after all the lectures he’s given me, he would be stupid enough to drink one.”

“He...did have an unknown mixed drink a bartender gave him on the house,” Cody said with a sinking sense of failure. “Could this have been a targeted attack?”

Skywalker clearly looked pissed at the idea “If it was, then that bartender committed an act of treason.” Only the fact that he was still supporting Ob-Wan’s weight (in what was rapidly approaching the second-longest hug they had ever shared) kept him from taking command of the troopers to interrogate a bartender. 

“Sir, do you want me to accompany you to medical and make a report?” Cody asked.

Anakin hesitated, thinking while Obi-Wan rested his chin on his former padawan’s shoulder. As amusing as the idea was in theory, he didn’t really want to humiliate a vulnerable, emotional Obi-Wan by dragging him through the heart of the temple to be gawked at and judged.

“No.” He finally decided, “Even if he somehow managed to miss the fact that he was being poisoned in a civilian bar, he’s more than capable of processing toxins on his own, and I’m more than capable of monitoring him overnight. We’ve got a full field med-kit in our quarters- I can take a blood sample tonight, and ask him what he wants to do with it once he sobers up in the morning.”

Obi-Wan readjusted slightly as Anakin shrugged, “It’s also possible that he just, you know, overdid it drinking, which isn’t anyone’s business but his own. I mean, he hasn’t exactly had the opportunity to cut loose when he’s a High General all the time; his tolerance might not have been where he was expecting.”

Cody saluted in acknowledgement of the command decision. He ruthlessly quashed any doubts, reminding himself that General Kenobi had, in fact, asked for General Skywalker by name, and Skywalker was likely to better informed on Jedi responses to alcohol. 

“Master, let’s get you to our quarters so you can sleep this off,” Anakin reluctantly pulled back from was now officially the longest hug Obi-Wan had ever given him. “Can you walk by yourself, or do you want me to help?”

The unusually peaceful smile Obi-Wan was wearing started to slide away. “Our quarters? Our quarters were destroyed. There’s nothing to find there now but ash,” he stated, as if gently reminding Anakin of a known tragedy.

Cody, still standing by, sucked in a breath.

“Besides,” he continued mater of factly, “You were barely ever in them at this point anyway. Even for a dream, it would be a lot more realistic for me to go to my quarters and sit in the dark trying to memorize casualty lists, while you’re out somewhere unknown, carousing with Padme presumably.”

“Carousing with Padme?! I - why would you- Master!” Anakin fumbled out, addressing the last point first before processing the rest.

“And is that seriously what you do when you have time off? Just sit and memorize the names of everyone who died during the war? That’s - that’s seriously sad Obi-Wan, we are talking about that when you sober up.” Not giving Obi-Wan the chance to defend his extremely sad hobby, Anakin plowed on. 

“And our quarters are fine, I know that- uh- I know I haven’t been around a lot, but I was just in there earlier today, they look practically the same as they did when I was a padawan. Whatever you saw, here and now - I promise you - here and now the temple is fine. We’ll talk about your vision or your hallucination once you sober up, I promise.” Anakin ended emphatically, gripping Obi-Wans shoulders and staring directly into his eyes.

The miniature rant seemed to work. 

“That sounds nice,” Obi-Wan said smiling, “I would love to see our old rooms- I know it didn’t really matter either way to you, but I always took comfort in the fact that you never bothered with requesting a new room after you were knighted. I know, I know that between how rarely we were temple based and Padme, it probably just didn’t cross your mind, but it was nice to have some tangible reminder of our connection, even as the war and the growing darkness stole everything else.”

Anakin truly didn’t know how to respond, the raw emotional honesty somehow even more painful than the crushing hug. Obi-Wan reached up to smooth back his hair like he was still a child. He then walked a few steps to face the extremely out-of-depth Commander Cody.

Not hesitating, Obi-Wan pulled Cody into a tender hug which he couldn’t help but lean into. The commander brought his arms up and around but hesitated to actually make contact, instead ghosting his hands along the general’s back.

“I always wanted to do that,” Obi-Wan whispers into Cody’s ear. “I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done; I never would have gotten through the war without you. I wish...I wish I could tell you that I consider you one of the best of men, and one of the best of friends. But... I can’t. Even if I abandoned my last mission to search you out, even if I succeeded in finding you, you would never allow me close enough to do this.”

Cody’s heart is racing, trying to decode the General’s words over the ringing white noise in his ears. He stops breathing entirely as Obi-Wan shifts to press their foreheads together, allowing him to focus entirely on the feel of the general’s breath, the sight of tears trickling again from red-rimmed eyes. “Goodbye, Cody.” he finally exhales.

And with that he turned and walked away, not looking back.

Next (Part Three)

[crispyjenkins]

A third part to the JangObi locked in a cell/ weapons courting if there isn’t one yet. Jango or Boba calling Obi Mandokar. At least I think that’s the word. A Mando’s wet dream basically.

(this one entirely got away from me and i didn't get to Boba actually using the word Mandokar, but both Obi-Wan and Satine know what he's getting at (ノ*゜▽゜*)

again, i do not hate Satine, but I also do not particularly like her! she's clearly got some stuff to work through here >.>

Thank you as always, Roxy!)

  When Jango had told Boba that he'd finally get to see the inside of the Senate Rotunda (legally, this time), Boba hadn't been particularly thrilled. Why should he care about the politics of a Republic neither he nor his buir are a part of?

  Well, Obi-Wan is a part of it, but he also clearly doesn't want to be.

  To put it shortly, Boba hadn't had high expectations for his afternoon, especially since it was preceded by Obi-Wan taking him to Dex's and letting Kote teach him how to use two vibroblades at once. Why couldn't they have just waited by the Slave I for Jango to finish his politicking? 

  He supposes Obi-Wan makes it bearable, taking him on a tour and telling him facts about the building itself, as well as stories from the Sacking of Coruscant, but Boba's good will ends rather abruptly when they run into Kryze and Padmé in one of the main corridors.

  Tense pleasantries are quickly exchanged, and Boba realises they haven't seen Kryze since Jango had helped Obi-Wan save her from Darth Maul; Boba still isn't sure of the details of what happened after, but his buir had been furious. 

  When it takes all of two minutes for Kryze to mockingly call Obi-Wan General Kenobi, Boba shares the kriffing sentiment. 

  Obi-Wan heaves a sigh, and Padmé looks wildly uncomfortable. "My lady, I do not know what you hope to achieve by reiterating your position on the Order’s involvement in the War; I am but one Jedi."

  "A Jedi on the High Council. You are just as implicit in its continuation as the rest," Kryze retorts, and Boba may be thirteen and a little out of his depth with the Politician Speak, but he knows this isn't about the Jedi, or the War. "Do not think you can absolve yourself from fault."

  Boba looks up at Obi-Wan, eager for his witty retort, but he just looks tired, and Boba has to remind himself that Obi-Wan had loved her, once. 

  Padmé smiles apologetically, trying to pull Kryze's focus. "The decisions of the High Council are not made by Obi-Wan alone," she says, even though they all know that isn't really the issue. 

  "You’re right," Kryze agrees, not sounding like she agrees at all, "individual Jedi have absolutely no control over their political participation in needless violence." Boba grinds his teeth as she gives up trying to hide her scowl.

  And Obi-Wan just stands there and takes it, like Boba hasn't seen him talk entire armies out of battle, or fight off both Savage and Maul at once. He hasn't seen Obi-Wan like this since Waxer's death on Cato Neimoidia.

  Obi-Wan sighs again, trying to offer Boba a little smile. "Individuals always have a choice," he says, more to Boba than Kryze. "But preventing the death of millions outweighs our personal beliefs, don't you think?"

  Boba nods firmly as Padmé shifts on her feet, but doesn't disagree; she's certainly seen more battle in this war than Kryze. 

  Kryze who scoffs to hide what must be genuine hurt. Anger is rarely about the thing you're angry with, Boba remembers Lama Su trying to teach him, and he reminds himself that Kryze had loved Obi-Wan once, too. That was the real problem, wasn't it?

  "Back then, you avoided conflict whenever you could," she says, flat and a little sad, "you would always rather go around than force your way through. It saddens me, Obi-Wan, to see what's left of your honor."

  "At least Obi-Wan hasn't murdered an entire half of his people!" Boba snarls, deciding he's quite done listening to this nonsense. 

  "Boba, it's alright," Obi-Wan says softly, but he's also keeping his left arm behind his back, keeping Jango's vambrace out of sight, and Boba is livid.

  "'Gar taldin ni jaonyc,'" he says, because he knows the "Duchess" still understands Mando'a, even if she pretends she doesn't.  Bloodline means nothing. "I don't care who your clan was, or what title you claim to have: until you are ready to die for your people, they are not yours."

  Kryze stares down at him, and Boba can feel Obi-Wan prodding at his mind in question, in an attempt to calm, but Boba shoves him back out. 

  "It's easy to call Obi-Wan a murderer when you're hiding in your glass palace, when you wouldn't know the first thing about defending it. Do not speak of honor until you even know what that is."

  There is a tense beat of silence before Kryze rounds a glare on Obi-Wan. "I would hope you could speak for yourself, if the Senate trusts a third of the Galactic Army in your hands."

  "Satine," Padmé murmurs, glancing at the passing senators who aren't even trying to hide their stares. 

  Obi-Wan’s eyes are colder than Boba has ever seen them, the hand behind him clenched into a fist, and Kryze had known him very well at one point, Boba knows she can read between the lines of Obi-Wan’s blank expression.

  "And I had hoped we had reached an understanding that there was nothing else for us to discuss, my lady. There are only so many times we can beat a dead bantha."

  Kryze sniffs. "You need not show me so much disdain, Obi-Wan: we are not sixteen and foolish anymore." Padmé tries to cut in, but Kryze waves for her silence. "But I agree, I do not think any new peace can be reached here, and you should be getting the child back to his progenitor, no?"

  "Jealous hag," Boba chirps, rocking on the balls of his feet and wondering if she had had dreams of having kids with Obi-Wan. "You didn't deserve Obi-Wan back then, and you certainly don't deserve him now. At the very least, he can separate his feelings from his politics."

  "Boba, please," Obi-Wan sighs, setting a gentle hand on the back of his neck, and Boba gets to watch with a vicious glee the exact moment Kryze sees Jango's vambrace, the only piece of armor Obi-Wan wears, and realises he is far past fraternising with her enemy.

  Padmé puts a hand on Kryze’s arm and gently starts to lead her away. "We should return to the committee, Duchess. And I'm sure Master Kenobi has his own business to attend to."

  "Of course," Kryze agrees icily, and actually returns Obi-Wan’s nod of farewell; she barely spares Boba a glance, though he smiles innocently up at her and mutters,

  "Demagulka," just loud enough for her to hear.

  Obi-Wan casts him a stern look, but luckily doesn't get the chance to scold him further, when Padmé quickly returns without Kryze and looks harried enough for all three of them. 

  "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," she says, hushed in the still rather busy hall, "You did not deserve that."

  "That's quite alright, my dear," Obi-Wan is quick to say, and smiles at his friend. "I'm afraid I'm quite used to such treatment, though perhaps not so... publicly."

  "I don't know if I've ever seen you in the Rotunda without the council, and I highly doubt you came all this way just to butt heads with the Duchess. What are you doing here?"

  "Ah, that would be this one's fault," he says, Boba yelping as Obi-Wan sticks his hand into his curls and tousles them roughly. He only smiles down at him when Boba growls and grabs onto his arm, and though he knows Obi-Wan could easily lift him like this, the Jedi would never do so here.

  "It was Boba, yes?" Padmé asks kindly, folding her hands in front of her. "What brings you to the Rotunda?'

  "Buir said he was meeting someone," he scrunches up his face. "But we're leaving right after so Obi-Wan was watching me and brought me over to meet him."

  Padmé’s smile only slips a little, looking back to Obi-Wan. "Fett's meeting someone?" she asks, even quieter, "Here?"

  "It is perhaps not my place to speak of it, we are still in the very early stages," he says mysteriously, tugging Boba around to lean against his front, arms draped over Boba's shoulders as if trying to make up for Jango’s resistance to public displays of affection. Grumbling, Boba still lets himself be held there, and meets every stare from passing politicians with a glare. "When we get a little further along, I would very much like to speak with the Delegation of 2,000."

  Bemused but not particularly surprised, Padmé shakes her head. "Of course, Obi-Wan. Are we to see you on Coruscant more often, then?"

  Obi-Wan winces and holds Boba a little closer. "The 212th is coming off leave at the end of the tenday, I'm afraid. And of course Jango and Boba will be returning to Mandalorian space."

  Padmé looks over Obi-Wan’s shoulder, smile becoming strained but not quite unfriendly. "Speak the name of the Dianoga," she sighs.

  Boba wriggles to look behind them and immediately perks up. "Buir!"

  Jango pauses on his path for the elevators, turning instead towards Boba's voice; the lines of his face soften at the sight of them, joining them after an encouraging finger-flick from Obi-Wan. 

  "Senator Amidala," he greets with a nod, and Boba thinks his buir actually likes Padmé, but won't admit it because Obi-Wan would never let him hear the end of it.

  "Mr. Fett," she returns, shaking his hand firmly like any good Mando. "Although, if my suspicions about your presence here are correct, I will be adjusting my term of address in the near future?"

  Letting Boba latch onto his side like a Corellian limpet, Jango raises a brow at Obi-Wan. "Haat'ade do not change their clan names at marriage," he says, Boba rolling his eyes at his buir's failed attempt at humor, and Obi-Wan rubs his eyes with one hand. 

  "Jango," he sighs, Padmé looking like Lifeday came early. 

  "Obi-Wan, you hadn't told me the Council had approved your request," she plays along, "When can I expect an invitation?"

  "After I'm done with him, never."

  "Now, cyar’ika," Jango chides, "it's best not to publicly threaten your–" 

  "Finish that sentence, and I'll have Anakin steal the Slave I," Obi-Wan says it into his hand, but Boba can see the edges of a smile. "Padmé, please don't encourage him, he'll be insufferable after this."

  Padmé casts a quick wink down to Boba. "You best tell Anakin next, if he's the last to know, he'll be whining for weeks."

  Jango brushes his fingers over Obi-Wan’s back like a sap, and his smile is even worse. Maker, Boba loves the both of them, but no one should look as smitten as his buir does any time Obi-Wan threatens him. "I don't know how we're going to fit your entire family on Concord Dawn, or all the kids." 

  "You mean the vode? Buir, I think Obi has more people on the Negotiator than have ever even lived on Concord Dawn."

  "Why in Corellian Hells would I agree to have it on Concord Dawn?" Obi-Wan wants to know. "Maker, but this entire conversation is ridiculous."

  Padmé tilts her head with a small hum, expression entirely too innocent. "Didn't you agree to marry Anakin on Tatooine for the one mission with the three-lekku Twi'lek and their five footed goa–"

  "Yes, THANK YOU, my dear, that's quite enough of that."

  Jango looks put-out, just short of an actual pout, and Boba wriggles against him in embarrassment. "You didn't tell me about that mission," Jango says, feigning hurt.

  Obi-Wan side-eyes him, and only gets a smile for his trouble. "You know," Obi-Wan starts casually, but with a mischievous twinkle in his eye that has only ever meant great deals of fun for Boba, "by Stewjoni rites, we're already married."

 Jango chokes on nothing, and Boba wonders if he'd even known where Obi-Wan was from. He should probably tell his buir he's already met Obi-Wan's grandparents.

Mando’a: buir — “parent”, gender neutral Demagulka — (from mandoa.org) “someone who commits atrocties, a real-life monster, a war criminal - from the notorious Mandalorian scientist of the Old Republic, Demagol, known for his experiments on children, and a figure of hate and dread in the Mando psyche” Haat’ade — slang for Haat Mando’ade, lit. “true children of Mandalore”, True Mandalorians cyar’ika — “darling”, “sweetheart”

*“Gar taldin ni jaonyc” from the full phrase “Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la,” lit. “Bloodline is not important, but you as a [parent] [is] the most valuable thing”,  used in the context of not judging someone by their lineage (blood or not) but by their own actions as a parent. I’ve used it here as Boba both calling Satine “dar’manda” and calling out her hypocrisy in criticising Obi-Wan/the Jedi from her ivory tower when she is a Kalevalen imperialist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[joracalltrise]

“The Mandalorian” and “The Phantom Menace” - I’ve just noticed how many beautiful simillarities and differences they have.

1) Truly magical night. A powerful Jedi is checking a powerful child’s potential. A concerned parent is watching from afar. 

Same here, with Ahsoka and Grogu. In both cases we have this misterious mood, as if even nature is telling us: this child is important, this child can grow up to become someone special.

2) The Jedi and the parent discussing the child’s past and potential. In this scene Anakin’s darkness is not yet known, so the scenery is very bright. Anakin himself is not present in the conversation, he’s busy doing something else. Shmi and Qui-Gon stand together, which makes it obvious, they want the same thing for Anakin, they are contemplating, what they can do to make his life better (and, probably already thinking about the possibility of him being a Jedi).

Mando and Ahsoka also discuss Grogu, but it’s a bit different. The scenery is very dark (except the tiny light in the middle) and the conversation is also circling around dark subjects. Grogu sitting between the Jedi and teh Mandalorian kind of symbolizes two options for him, two different roads he can take - because, in comparison to Anakin’s case, it is not so obvious, that he SHOULD take the Jedi path, that everybody around him believes it is the best path it can be. Also, from this scene (and some signals before), we have learned that Grogu is not as “pure” as Anakin was at the beginning - he already has BIG darkness looming above him. 

3) Saing goodbye scene.

Now, we are going according to “the Phantom Menace” timeline, but we know, that in “the Mandalorian” the scene number 4 will go first. 

Anakin’s goodbye with his mother is both happy and sad, beautiful and a bit depressing. The bond between the parent and the child is very clear - neither of them want to part. However, Shmi (as every good parent) loves her son selflessly and altough she is sad, she is ready to let go of him, for his sake. 

Anakin, on the other hand, is completely NOT ready to let go, to say goodbye and to choose between his mum and the Jedi. When I look at this scene after so many years, I realize, he SHOULD have had more time, none of this should be rushed. 

But we know Qui-Gon and his group are in hurry. There is no time neither for Qui-Gon nor Anakin to think things through.

And so, Anakin leaves with the Jedi, leaves his mother with the relief, that her baby’s future is secured (or so she thinks). 

If you look very closely at Mando in episode 5, you realize he is acting PRECISELY like Shmi. He is such a good parent here. It’s obvious he loves Grogu and doesn’t want to part with him, but he knows the best option for Grogu is to become someone like Ahsoka - someone who can defend himself from the Empire-like villains, using cool lightsabers. 

It’s Grogu who is so NOT ready to part with Mando. Not the other way round.

(Remember, I’m talking about readyness to let go, not WANTING to let go - there is a difference!)

But this time, the outcome is different. 

In this case, scenery is a bit darker in comparison to Anakin’s goodbye scene. And the Jedi does NOT take the child. However, it’s important to note, she doesn’t completely rejects the idea of him being a Jedi, like she does in the scene number 4 (but we’ll get to that in a moment).   

4) Finally, the rejection scene!

Let’s start with Anakin. 

First, we have a (VERY) succesfull Force test, then The Fear Talk, Yoda’s sad realisation and The Discussion. 

And it’s all happening while THE SUN SETS (when they reach the decision, it’s already dark!). Remember, when I told you about the previous scenes? How almost all of them, in Anakin’s case, were happening in the light and nobody were talking about the danger of training him, nothing about the darkness looming deep from within him? Well, it certainly changes NOW.

As you can see, there are already quite a lot of similarities with Grogu’s case.

Again, we have (not so smooth, but) succesfull Force Test, another Fear Talk (although not so direct, and a bit more gentle) and the Discussion. 

So, what are the differences?

First of all, the talk is very private, and the kid (Grogu) is probably not fully aware of what the adults are talking about right now. It’s not the intimidating Jedi Council meeting, where the kid is present and fully understanding the fact, that they are talking about HIM, and for some reason he’s not GOOD. 

Another interesting difference is that we have the Civillian (well, the Mandalorian actually, but you know, what I mean) talking with The Jedi, instead of the Jedi Master discussing importantn thing with other Jedi Masters. Which should look very different, but in fact... doesn’t ;)

Both Mando and Qui-Gon based their arguments on emotions, and on knowing their kids better than anyone (it’s kind of cute) and being confident in their kids abilities. 

“Whaat?! Hey, but look, what he can do!” - this kind of stuff. 

From the other hand, both Jedi Council and Ahsoka (another funny thing about this situation, considering Ahsoka’s whole past with the Jedi Council, that she now thinks similarily to them) - they talk from the experience. They are being reasonable. Well, in Ahsoka’s case it’s a bit more personal with her whole experience with Anakin, but we must admit, that her arguments are not stupid or out of blue. 

And the outcome of both meetings is actually... similar (again). 

The Council and Ahsoka are giving a “no”, but it’s not a definitive “NO”. There is still a small hint of “hm... maybe... maybe yes”.

Conclusions?

Well, we know, what the conclusion was, at least for Anakin. But, what about Grogu?

And this is precisely the reason, why I’m talking about all of this in the first place. 

I believe that Grogu’s story in Mandalorian is finally going to give us the confirmation of something I’ve been waiting to see in Star Wars franchise for AGES. 

The paralell of Anakin’s story, but ending DIFFERENTLY! 

Also, the study of attachment and the explanation of HOW can a Jedi DEAL with it and come out victorious. 

We KNOW, from the canon, that it is possible for a Jedi to have predispositions towards the dark side (Luke), adapt the dark side into their combat style (Windu) or even leave the Order (Ahsoka) and still stay in the light. 

But none of this Jedi had soooo maaanyyy similarities with Anakin, not even Luke (well, ok, Luke had many simillarities with his dad, but they were different similarities than Grogu).

To be honest, I’ve always wondered, how Anakin’s story would end, if the prequel trilogy was completed BEFORE the original trilogy. It may sound a bit odd, but I don’t really believe, that the Jedi Order treated Anakin wrongly. Well, they’ve made mistakes, of course, and it was difficult for them to approach him, since he was so very, very different than other Padawans. Obi-Wan, Padme and the rest of the Jedi Family sincerely loved Anakin and they did they best to make him a good man - they have just lost to Palpatine’s clever calculations.

But with Grogu it doesn’t have to be this way. 

And I’m eager to see, how Grogu grows up to become a powerful, good, but extraordinary Jedi. And, how Mando ends up as someone much more than a simple bounty hunter ;)  

The only question is - will they do it together? Because, well... episode number 6 from the second season gave me the vibe, that the FINAL GOODBYE between the two is waiting for us somewhere in the future. It will happen - it HAS to happen in order to prove that Grogu (unlike Anakin) is capable of letting go, of accepting the loss of the loved one. 

Sorry about the possible mistakes. Unfrotunately, I don’t have an English beta. 

[tanyawritesstories]

Favorite Spot | Commander Cody x Reader

Some Cody fluff for everybody because this man needs a rest and deserves love.

Warnings: fluff, a pinch of sad, Cody gets flustered easily

•••

The amount of stress piled on top of him right now added so much weight that if he fell into the Kaminoan waters he was sure he’d sink to the bottom. Commander Cody rested his head on his hands for the tenth time that hour. His eyes were getting sore from looking at damage reports and death counts. The surprise attack on Kamino had taken a toll on all his brothers as well as himself. Though there were many losses, some good things had surfaced in the aftermath. Fives and Echo of the 501st had proven themselves once again and he was happy to promote them both to the rank of ARC trooper. That was one good thing, the other was that he got to see you.

Cody looked up from his datapad to see you still outside helping with repairs. He couldn’t help the smile that came to his face as he watched you through the window. Standing out in the pouring rain, soaked to the skin, and laughing with another clone as you worked to bring a power terminal back up. Maker, he loved your smile. It was as if the heavens themselves opened when you smiled. So radiant and bright, that was you entirely. 

As a newly appointed Jedi Knight, former padawan to Obi-Wan Kenobi, your first mission was to defend Kamino. Pushing back the separatists had been slightly more difficult than you had thought. Though it made sense considering they brought both Grievous and Ventress. Luckily, both Obi-Wan and Anakin were there too. When the battle had finally ended, the enemy had been defeated and the home of the Republic's prized soldiers was finally safe. The council had allowed you to stay and help with the rebuild of the clone homeworld, something you were grateful for. It meant getting to stay and see your favorite clones everyday, especially that of a certain Commander.

You stuck your tongue into your cheek as you concentrated, a detail Cody didn’t fail to notice. He chuckled as you finally got the wiring back together and the terminal hummed back to life, raising your hands into the air in triumph. His staring was interrupted by the sound of his door sliding open. He turned around in his chair to see General Kenobi standing just outside.

“Sorry to interrupt your work, Commander. I need to speak to you in the control room, it seems there is yet another issue,” Obi-Wan said. “Of course, General,” Cody responded. He grabbed his helmet and tucked it under his arm before following the General to the control room.

Cody and Obi-Wan were joined by General Shaak Ti as they communicated with the other cities on Kamino. So far the damage was minimal but it was still something they had to look into. “Well, it seems like we took the full force of the attack,” Obi-Wan said to no one in particular. “Yes,” Shaak Ti agreed, “It will take time to get everything back to full efficiency.”

The doors to the control room opened and you walked in. Still soaking wet, (H/c) hair sticking to your face and neck, Jedi robes dripping water onto the floor. You looked a mess, but a beautiful one, Cody thought. You looked around the room and noticed everyone staring. “Oh, wrong door,” you said. “Exactly which door were you looking for?” Obi-Wan asked with a smirk. You looked at the floor in embarrassment, “My room. I was hoping to get out of these soaked robes as soon as possible, except I seem to have taken a wrong turn.”

“No worries, (Y/n),” Shaak Ti assured. She turned to Cody, “Commander, do you mind escorting (Y/n) to her room, please.”

“No problem, sir,” Cody nodded. He motioned to the door, “After you, Commander.”

“Thank you, Cody,” you smiled. You exited the control room with Cody walking beside you. The doors shut behind you and Obi-Wan turned to the other Jedi General.

“That was a bad idea,” he said.

“They’ll thank me later,” Shaak Ti replied with a smile.

“So how goes damage report, Commander?” You asked. “Things are moving steadily,” Cody replied. “I hope my repairs are holding,” you said, “I’m not much of a mechanic, aside from welding things shut with my lightsaber.” Cody was barely able to hide his smile. “Congratulations, I heard this was your first mission as a Jedi knight.” You smiled up at him, “Thank you, where did you hear that?” The question caught Cody off guard and his confident military facade fell slightly. “Uhh..”

You took a second to observe the shock and adorable blush that came over the Commander before saving him from his own embarrassment. “Doesn’t matter, what I heard was that you were quite the hero in the barracks.” You turned and walked backwards in front of Cody so you could see his reaction to your words. The look of shock flashed over his features again, he opened his mouth to talk but you already knew what he was going to ask. “The cadets talk a lot,” You said. “I wasn’t alone,” Cody defended, “I had some help.”

“I know, but you still did a good job.” Cody wasn’t sure if it was your general presence or your compliments that were making him feel flustered. 

The pair rounded a few more corners before Cody motioned to a specific door on the left. “This one’s yours.” “Thank you kindly, Cody.” You punched in your code and the door opened. Before you entered you turned to face Cody, “Would you like to join me in the mess once I change, I could meet you down there.” Cody hesitated for a moment, still trying to process what you had asked him. “Unless you are busy,” you added, a hint of sadness in her voice. Cody heard the sadness come through in her words and immediately hated hearing it. “No, no, I’m not busy at all,” he said a little too quickly. “I’d enjoy it very much actually.” She blushed and looked to the side. Cody moved so she was once again looking at him, “I’ll meet you there then?”

“Yes, I’ll be over there soon,” you assured. Cody decided that he adored the way your cheeks flushed pink. The reaction fuelled his confidence and he conjured it up. "I'll see you then," Cody winked at you before turning and walking away. He turned to look at you, seeing your cheeks flash pink again. He was sure he'd never get tired of it.

~~~~

Now in clean and dry robes, you entered the mess hall. Instantly spotting your beloved Commander sitting at a table by himself. You grabbed some food and sat across from him. You struck up a conversation and as the two of you talked Cody reflected on how he'd come to love you. 

The first time he met you was when you were a Padawan. Obi-Wan had decided you were old and strong enough to help lead in battle. Cody had been apprehensive at first but once the fighting began you easily proved yourself as a soldier. It was during this same battle when Cody was stunned by a nearby explosion. The force of the explosion nearly knocked him out, he had barely been able to register that a large building was starting to fall towards him. Cody thought he was a dead man, until he was being pulled away by the Force. The falling structure missed him by a few meters and he was safely pulled into your arms. You saved his life and in doing so, stole his heart.

It was a slightly different story for you. You had heard Obi-Wan talk proudly about his Commander multiple times. He sounded like a stunning and accomplished war hero, a man you couldn’t wait to meet. When you did first meet Cody he was exactly how you pictured him. A tall and proud warrior who gathered the attention of all he commanded. Though Obi-Wan had neglected to describe how handsome he was. With his dark hair, tan colored skin, and soft brown eyes. The epitome of a knight in shining armor, and that was before you got to know him.

You observed Cody as he picked at the last few bites of his food. Something was off about him, he was very stressed. That was understandable. At his high rank so much responsibility fell onto his shoulders. You had been trying to ease his stress in any way you could: taking on more handiwork, doing some of his reports for him, anything you could do to lighten his work load. 

“You look tired,” you commented. “I stayed up late last night filing damage reports,” he informed. You sighed, “I could do the reports for you tonight if you wish.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Cody, you need to rest,” You reached across the table and put a hand on his. “Sleep deprivation will not help you nor is it good for you.” Cody looked up at you before looking down at your hands. You realized what you had done and pulled your hand away. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Cody reached out and caught your hand in his, “It’s alright, (Y/n).” He held your hand gently in his, rubbing his thumb over the back. “I’m just worried,” He heard you mumble. The thought that you cared so much to be worried about whether he was getting enough sleep made Cody smile, but he didn’t want you to be worried.

“Come with me,” He said. You looked confused, “What?” Cody stood up, his hand still holding yours. “Come with me, I want to show you something.” You got up and followed Cody through the bleak hallways and into a lift. He hadn't let go of your hand and you weren't about to let him. The lift finally reached its destination and Cody gently tugged you with him.

"Where are we headed?" You asked, curiosity woven into your words.

"You'll see," Cody replied.

You could sense his excitement. Wherever he was taking you, he couldn't wait for you to see it. You put your other hand on his bicep and rested your head on his shoulder. Cody's heart, and face, flushed. Uncertain if he should reciprocate the action, he merely patted the hand that was laying on his upper arm. He stopped at a door on the right and looked around to make sure no one else was in the corridor. “In here,” he whispered. Cody pressed the large button on the small panel next to the door, making a whirring noise as it opened.

The inside of the room was dark, save for the dim light coming through a large floor to ceiling window at the back of the room. From what you could make out as Cody led you inside, it looked like a storage room. The door slid closed behind you and your eyes were forced to adjust to the low lighting. Now being able to make out the shapes of tables and shelves, most of them covered in discarded or damaged equipment.

Cody confidently led you through the maze of oddly placed furniture, his boots occasionally kicking away a broken piece of armor or a failed electronic. You followed him as best as you could, his hand never leaving yours, making sure not to touch anything. The entire room looked one touch away from everything falling to the floor. You both finally made it to the back of the room so you were standing in front of the window, which was much larger when only inches away.

The view from the window was a beautiful sight. The two of you were on one of the highest levels of the building. From the window one could see for miles. Several other cities were dotted throughout the massive expanse of water. Their sleek exteriors standing steadfast in the raging torrent and downpour that the planet so generously provided. Though not much to see other than metal and water, the sight was mesmerizing, calming almost.

“My favorite spot,” Cody uttered. You looked up at him, the low light coming through the window shone on his face. You observed him as he looked out the window, he almost looked upset. You could see the depth of emotion in his eyes, his lips forming a straight line on his face, the light creating little shadows that danced across his face. You looked back to the window, “It’s beautiful.” Cody moved to sit in front of the window and you joined him.  “I’d come up here as often as I could while I was a cadet,” he reminisced, “It’s peaceful up here, stark contrast to all the chaos of training.” You watched his face as he spoke, there it was again. That look of sadness and feeling of tension and strong emotions. He glanced at you before continuing to stare out the window.

“Cody, what’s wrong?” He looked at the floor. “Cody please tell me, you know you can talk to me,” You pleaded. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s recent developments,” he stammered. It was your turn to look at the floor. “I’m sorry, I know you’ve lost a lot of brothers these past few days and-” “It’s not that,” he interrupted, “It’s something else, foreign to me.” For the first time since the mess hall, Cody let go of your hand and buried his face in his own two hands. “I’m so confused,” he whimpered.

You could hear the weakness in his voice, it broke your heart. The man that you admired, loved, and looked up to was crumbling right in front of you. His usual hardened military facade falling, revealing how vulnerable he was. You scooted closer to him not wanting him to think he was alone. You put your hand on his back trying to comfort him, unsure of what to say.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t know.”

Conflict, there was so much conflict in him you could sense it. But what was he conflicted over?

Cody didn’t want to look at you, he couldn’t. He was afraid he’d see you with a judging look in your eyes, afraid you’d call him a coward for breaking down like he was. It was so hard living like this, torn between wanting to be with you and his duty to the Republic. He hated it, he hated that he had to choose, he didn’t want to choose. He wanted to tell you how he felt but he was scared. He loved you, everything about you, at least that’s what he thought he was feeling. Love. It was a foreign emotion to him, something he never felt unless he was with you.

“Cody, please tell me what’s wrong, I hate seeing you like this.” You sounded close to tears, your voice cracking as you spoke. Cody chanced a look at you. Your beautiful (e/c) eyes that were normally so happy were brimmed with tears dangerously close to spilling over. He took your hand again, “I’m so sorry, (y/n) please don’t cry.” “Then tell me what’s wrong.” He glanced out the window trying to think of what to say then looked back at you.

“I-I think I’m in love with you.” 

He watched as your mouth opened slightly in shock, the look on your face clearly showing that you were still processing what he said. He started to regret telling you how he felt until a bright smile appeared on your face.

“That’s it?” You breathed. Cody stared nervously at you. “That’s what you are so upset about? Were you afraid I wouldn’t feel the same?” “Do you?” Cody questioned hesitantly. “Cody I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you,” you confirmed. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. “But you’re a Jedi, isn’t love forbidden?” You took one of his hands in both of yours, “technically yes, but I think if love is strong it can’t be wrong.” He smiled at your words, “What are we going to do about it?” 

You thought for a minute. “We could keep it a secret, hide it as best we can and then, when the war ends, find a way to be together forever if that’s what you want?” Cody took your hands and kissed the back of both of them. “I’d want nothing more.” 

He smiled at you and you smiled back. You threw your arms around him and pressed your lips tightly to his. Cody didn’t know how to react and it took him a few seconds until he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you back to the best of his ability. Your lips fit perfectly with his, your soft skin against his rough and scarred skin. It felt like paradise, and if this is what paradise felt like then Cody wanted it for the rest of his life.

[pandora15]

Could I have some angst headcanons for the newest season of TCW?

Here’s a list!  Enjoy the angst, friends!

Echo doesn’t ever find out what happened to Fives.  He asks after he’s rescued, of course, and Rex gives a vague answer that implies that Fives died.  However, it doesn’t tell Echo the circumstances leading up to Fives’ death.

Obi-Wan basically admitting that he knows about Anakin and Padmé’s relationship gives a lot away about how much his relationship with Anakin has suffered.  Let’s break this down for a second:

In my eyes, Obi-Wan knew from the beginning that they were romantically involved, not necessarily that they were married (and I don’t think he ever finds that out btw)

Anakin gets a hint that Obi-Wan knows from the Rush Clovis arc in Season 6, but this here is actual verbal confirmation

Anakin doesn’t respond, however, because he doesn’t want to talk about it with Obi-Wan.  He assumes that talking about it means that he’ll hear Obi-Wan tell him to let go of his attachment to Padmé, and he doesn’t want to hear that, no matter what.

So of course, Obi-Wan just feels sad that Anakin doesn’t seem to trust him, even when he’s literally saying that he knows.

And that drives them further apart.

Also: we have no idea if the Bad Batch (including Echo) are going to participate in Order 66.  I really doubt we’ll see them in one of the last two episodes, but also, you never know???

Throughout Ahsoka’s walkabout arc, she began to realize how the general public saw the Jedi.  That was the main point of this arc.

The fact of the matter is this: Public opinion of the Jedi has decreased as the war progressed, and the Jedi aren’t really aware of it because they’re so busy with the war that they can’t even connect with the general population of the planet they live on.  This isn’t entirely the Jedi Order’s fault, of course, but it definitely hurts to see that.

Ahsoka jumps to defend the Jedi at first, out of habit more than anything, but then she Remembers that she’s not a Jedi anymore

And in that moment, she doesn’t really know who she is or where she belongs

That thought makes her feel more alone

We’re not even done with the Siege of Mandalore, but hooo boy is there a lot of angst

The Siege of Mandalore seems to be full of could-have-beens: like if Anakin and Obi-Wan somehow ended up going to Mandalore with Ahsoka, maybe things would have ended differently.  If Anakin or Obi-Wan went with Ahsoka to Mandalore, things would have definitely ended differently (but I kinda feel like it would be worse).

In hindsight, Ahsoka probably felt that if she had acted differently, said something that could have put more stability in Anakin’s mind, maybe he would have been alright.

The fact that in today’s episode, Obi-Wan literally asks Ahsoka to talk to Anakin says a lot.  He’s trying, but he knows that Ahsoka and Anakin have an important connection, and he’s hoping that she can help him in the ways that he can’t.  Too bad that doesn’t work out.

There’s the fact that Obi-Wan goes through all of ROTS knowing that Ahsoka is on Mandalore, facing Maul.  The events of ROTS is stressful by itself, especially since it seems like the Council is Very Aware of Darth Sidious, but...Mandalore on top of that? Obi-Wan needs a nap.

There’s definitely more that I’ve forgotten (like Obi-Wan definitely thinking about Qui-Gon’s death, Satine’s death, Adi Gallia’s death, since Maul is...around, but....yeah.  That’s A Lot).

[padfootagain]

Stranded (III)

Part 3 : Dreams And Realities

You have asked for a part three… you have been heard. Here's part three, my lovelies! And as it's May the fourth today, I had to post something SW related to celebrate. May the Force be with you all.

I'm taking liberties concerning canon architectures but… I don't care at all.

I hope you all like it :)

Fluffy fluff and angsty angst haaaaa!! Did I make myself cry with this? YEP!

Gif not mine

Word Count : 4778

You were there again. In his dream. You, your eyes shining in the dim light, the clouds left by your breath drawing surreal patterns in the cold air, the way you looked at him… Tears in your eyes and yet he could read in this gaze the truth in the words you had just spoken. He could see you meant it. You did love him…

It was just the same moment playing over again and again. You were there, before him, in that cave. Just a few seconds later, and you would be kissing his lips and…

He washed the thought away with clear, cold water, before looking back at his reflection in the mirror.

He heaved a sigh, leaning against the sink in his personal room. He hadn't put on a shirt yet, instead, he was trying to shake the dreams off his eyes. For now, it wasn't much of a success.

His room was like any other Jedi room. A few personal belongings, a simple mattress, a desk and chair, a little more room to meditate, and a window that for him faced plain East. And as dawn burnt through the sky of Coruscant, the sun shed its first rays right into his chamber. At this hour, the light fell on a part of his bed. He could have asked for curtains to avoid being bothered by the sun every morning, but he actually enjoyed being woken up with the nearest star. It was a warm way to emerge from the dark slumber of dreams.

He looked down at the bandage that still encircled his abdomen, the light of the morning giving it a golden shade. He passed his palm against the sensitive wound, and felt a little sting cross his body. For some reason, he almost wanted to press his hand harder against the cut, he didn't know why. But he didn't. Instead, he let his hand fall in the water gathered in the sink while his eyes travelled to the waking planet before him. Some light remained alit in the highest towers, he could see them glimmer a little more than the rest of the orange sky. Speeders, Jedi shuttlebuses and other civilian transportations were already flying through the sleeping city. Others seemed to be early birds like Obi-Wan, after all.

But of all this beautiful scenery he had made a habit of admiring in the morning, he now couldn't see a single thing. Even the sky that was so particularly colourful that morning, Obi-Wan could barely notice any of its beauty. His mind was too unsettled.

What was he supposed to do?

You and he had come back from Hoth a few days before. He had spent a couple of days in bed, recovering from his wound, and had been allowed to walk around the temple on his own again only the day before. You had been more than busy with your duties as a Senator for your homeworld. But now that he was able to move around again, was he supposed to go and see you? Or should he give you time and space?

You had not talked again of that kiss… and the couple more that had followed. You were both too exhausted during the trip back to Coruscant to do anything but hold hand and sleep. And then, once you had landed, you were both taken into two different medical centres: you were taken to the Republic centre, and he was taken directly to the Jedi temple. And you had been apart ever since.

He heaved a tired sigh, and put more cold water on his face, washing away exhaustion and worry. Or at least… trying to do so.

The Jedi code was clear. The Jedi Order was his life. How could he even think about doing this? How could he even see you that way?

And yet he did. It wasn't the first time his feelings made him doubt himself and his place in the Order, but this time, it was different. He was not as young as he was the last time such doubts had shaken his reality. And yet, there he was…

He pushed the thought away. He had to face one problem at a time.

First, he needed to decide if he would go and see you. He reckoned that it was what he ought to do. The matter had to be discussed. It required a conversation and more importantly, a decision on what to do next. He couldn't simply act like nothing had happened. The two of you had basically confessed your true feelings for each other. He couldn't just run away from this.

For once though, he wished he could have simply run away. It would have been much simpler, to act like nothing had happened. If he took the decision by himself to stop it all, to forget about the whole ordeal, perhaps it could be enough. Oh, how less painful it would be…

But he wasn't that man. He couldn't abandon you. He loved you too much for that.

If indeed, you and he decided to stop seeing each other, if you both decided that it was better to act like nothing had happened, then it had to be a decision taken by both of you.

What other end was there to consider, besides bidding you farewell? He didn't even know.

He felt guilty for his next thought, but he couldn't help but wish… for another way to exist.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

 Obi-Wan had not left the Temple yet. He almost went in the upper levels of the Temple to find some tranquillity and meditate, but he didn’t. Instead, he took a walk through the gardens.

It was a peaceful place, but it was also much more buzzing with life than the meditation rooms. The sun was warm on his face, sun drops caught on the hair of his beard. Some younglings and padawan were training or chatting in different corners of the area covered with grass. Several knights seemed lost in a passionate debate on one of the benches. But all in all, there wasn’t so many people around at that time in the morning. After all, dawn was barely gone.

Obi-Wan walked through the dusty paths leading him towards the large fountain in the centre of the large gardens. Sun mingling with the droplets falling from the fountain drew tiny reflects full of colours, much like little rainbows.

Around the path, he passed before the green grass and the blooming bushes. Strange-looking flowers drenched in colours exploded in their blossom, and under any other circumstances, he would have enjoyed the sight before him. But his mind was too much troubled for that.

He walked for a moment in circles around the garden, but soon felt a tension through his wound, so he went to sit on the edge of the fountain instead. The water made the air a little cooler in that area, and he welcomed the breeze with a soothing sigh.

He had to go and see you, but how could he? It could be the end of it all, and actually, it ought to be. He would have enjoyed lingering for a little longer in a dream though.

He didn't hear his former Padawan approaching behind him. He didn't sense his presence either. It wasn't in his habit to be so distracted, and before he could even see his face clearly and the worries that made him frown, Anakin knew something was bothering his master. And he was far from stupid enough to be unaware of the cause for his friend's worry.

He sat by Obi-Wan's side on the edge of the fountain. The Jedi Master faked to not be surprised, but he wasn't very good at hiding his reaction.

"How are you feeling?" Anakin asked his friend, nodding towards his torso.

"Much better. Thank you. Still sore, but I'll soon be able to fight again."

"It's good to hear."

"Well, I don't really have a choice. Who else could keep you from getting killed or destroying the Temple?"

They exchanged an amused laugh, but Anakin here again was not fooled. He knew Obi-Wan better than he knew himself. There was something off in his laughter, something forced.

"Senator Y/L/N is safely at the Senate delivering her speech," Anakin spoke in a casual tone.

"She is right where she belongs."

Anakin studied his friend's behaviour for a moment. Obi-Wan was trying to remain stern and cold, but his former Padawan had learned to see through the knight's mask a long time ago.

"I wonder though… what happened in that cave exactly?"

"I already told you and the whole council what happened," Obi-Wan faked ignorance.

"Well… the official version, yes. What about the whole truth?"

"I didn't lie to you nor to the council, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied with a proud glint in his eyes, his stature taller all of a sudden.

"That's not what I meant," Anakin soothed his mind. "But you and the Senator were quite… close when Snips and I found you."

"It was unbelievably cold, in case you didn't notice," Obi-Wan defended himself, but the tip of his ears turned crimson.

"So… you were merely applying the basics of survival…"

"Indeed."

"And I guess this was also why you and the Senator were holding hands in the ship when we left."

Obi-Wan's cheekbones turned the same shade as his ears.

"We had both been through a very difficult time, Anakin. I was merely helping her to… feel safe."

"I see…"

But Anakin soon let out a chuckle.

"Well, you're lucky I'm not Master Yoda. In the future, you should learn to better work on your alibies."

"Anakin!"

But humour left his young friend's tone as he spoke once more, resting a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"I am not judging you, Obi-Wan. She is one of a kind."

"This kind of feelings are forbidden in the Order."

"I never truly understood that rule."

"A Jedi must love all, not only one. It's the feeling of possession, the feeling of dependence that are to avoid. Your mind must be settled on all people, not only focused upon one being."

"But you said it yourself once, that these feelings are only natural."

"But the final decision must be the right one."

"So… you're going to remain sad and alone all your life, and condemn her to the same fate, just because you refuse to bend a rule?"

"I am not sad and alone. Neither is she. And the decision is not only mine to take, although I am certain that she sees things this way as well."

He was trying to defend himself, but in his heart, he lacked conviction as he spoke. The words came out but there wasn't emotion in them at all.

"If you do love her, then what difference does it make?" Anakin argued. "You speak about not focusing upon only one person… but if the situation was to present itself, and you had to choose between saving Senator Y/L/N and anyone else, wouldn't you make the choice to save her anyway? The fact that you may be with her or not… would it change anything? Wouldn't you do anything to save her anyway?"

Obi-Wan tried to find arguments to fire back, but he failed. He hated to admit it, but Anakin was right. He heaved a sigh.

"You are supposed to be the reckless one here, not the wise one," he merely replied with faked annoyance.

"What can I do? My Master taught me well."

"Too well, clearly."

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"How could I have done so? I was trapped in here. Remember the wound?"

"But now you can walk just fine."

"I was about to go see her before you arrived and kept me here, actually."

"Were you?"

"I was."

"You still didn't tell me what happened in that cave though."

The two men chuckled.

"Another time perhaps," Obi-Wan laughed as he stood, and he had a tender glance for Anakin, before turning on his heels and leaving the garden.

Anakin was right. Obi-Wan hated to admit it, but Anakin was right.

He hated it when Anakin was right like that…

 -------------------------------------------------

 You were back in your personal chambers, alone. Finally. The session of the morning had been a tensed one. Padmé had brought a lot of attention to herself in her plea to help neutral systems that suffered from Separatists embargo. You agreed with her, of course, but her direct phrasing had forced you to defend her often.

It was only the middle of the day, but you were already exhausted.

You couldn't solely blame your friend's reckless words though. Obi-Wan didn't seem willing to leave your thoughts…

You couldn't stop thinking about him. About what had happened in that cave. About the way he held you close, how his fingers felt around yours and… that kiss…

If you closed your eyes you could almost feel his lips on yours all over again.

You lifted up your eyelids again, blinded by the warm sun shining through the large window of your apartment.

Perhaps it was the feeling of his lips that lingered upon yours, or perhaps it was just the sun…

You should have gone to see him already, but you didn't dare. You were so deeply worried about him, you tried to find any piece of information about his health that you could. If news were reassuring, you still would have enjoyed to see it all by yourself. But you didn't dare.

You didn't want to compromise his status in the Order. And you didn't want to have this talk with him, the one that would have to take place whenever you would see each other face to face again. The one that would most certainly break your heart.

You already knew how he would go. He would be gentle and sad and he would mean every word of it.

He would explain how he meant it all that day, in that crevasse. How he did have feelings for you. But also that he was a Jedi, that he had responsibilities, duties, and that such feelings were forbidden. And he would always choose the Jedi Order over you, he had to. You knew it. The Order was his life, his family… it was him on so many levels. And you could never let him sacrifice such an important part of himself for you. You loved him too much for that.

You already knew perfectly how it would all go, so why suffer even more by hearing it for real? What was the point in that?

You walked onto your balcony, the sun even warmer outside. You watched the flying transports moving through the city, the sunlight glistening on the tall buildings, the lazy cumuli peacefully floating high in the sky…

And you closed your eyes just to feel him holding you again…

"Senator Y/L/N, there is a visitor to see you."

You didn't move a muscle, you didn't open your eyes, you didn't stop the memory from washing over you. Instead, you merely asked your protocol droid a very simple question.

"Who?"

But his answer had your eyes open wide.

"Master Kenobi is at the door. He asks to see you."

Your heart was suddenly pounding. Your palms were wet. Your throat tightened. You lost your gaze on the traffic again, but couldn't see anything but the blinding sun…

There was no way out though… it had to be done.

"Make him come in please, and then, leave us alone. And make sure we are not interrupted, please."

"Of course, Senator."

You heard the droid walking away. You heard the door closing. You guessed the quiet steps of the Jedi Knight too. But all the while, you kept your eyes on the city laying at your feet.

You were waiting for Obi-Wan to reach you, but it took longer than you had expected.

The reason was simple: the Jedi was standing before the glass door leading to the balcony that you had left open in your wake, and he was staring at you. His heart wore such a crazy pace, he was short of breath all of a sudden…

You were so beautiful like this, bathed in sunshine.

He took several seconds standing there, motionless, merely taking you in. Eventually, he did move onto the balcony and stood a couple of steps behind you in a respectful, chaste demeanour.

"How is your wound?" you asked in a voice you tried to prevent from shaking.

"Much better. Still a little sore, but… nothing that time and rest will not mend," he answered in a soft voice, but a blank tone.

"I'm glad to hear it. I was worried about you… I thought my favourite bodyguard had been broken."

"It takes more than a shaky landing and a snowstorm to get rid of me."

"I can see that."

You fell silent, and for a moment, Obi-Wan didn't really know what to say. He found himself uncomfortably at a loss for words all of a sudden. Unusual fact for him, he always was so prompt for sassy remarks as well as soothing wise words. But not this time. This time his mind was working as fast as it could but remained blank all the same.

But he didn't have to speak, you broke the heavy silence first.

"I know what you're going to say. I know it all already. But before you say it all, can you do one last thing for me?"

Your voice was calm. Soft. Soothing even. There was such a grace in your tone, something almost royal in the sternness that your voice wore.

"Of course," he merely answered. "Anything."

Finally, you turned to him.

He was lost in your eyes in a second. An instant was enough for you to capture his soul and heart all over again…

It was painful, the way he loved you. It was a weight on his heart that didn't seem to slow its crazy pace. It was a punch in the stomach that left him breathless. It was a fire coursing through his veins and leaving him endlessly burning and yet he had never felt more alive. It was this piercing truth shattering his heart and yet, he knew that no matter how this conversation would end, he would never regret loving you. Even if it meant losing a part of himself with leaving you, even if it meant breaking his heart, even if it meant dying a little… loving you was the best thing that had happened to him, and no matter how badly he would be hurt in the end, he would never regret this moment with you in this cave. And he would never stop loving you. Even if he could only love you from afar, his feelings would not falter.

He realized as you spoke again that barely a second had passed since your stare had caught his.

"Can you hold me? For just a moment?"

You sounded so fragile now. Your voice was shaking, a little more high-pitched than usual. He didn't say a word, and merely nodded and opened his arms for you.

You slipped in his embrace like you had been made to rest there. It felt so natural, so right… how could this be a bad thing, if it felt so right?

You wrapped your arms around him, losing one of your hands in his short hair and burying your face in his shoulder. He was holding you tightly again him, the same way he had on Hoth: a strange balance between a delicate embrace as if he was afraid to hurt you, and a tight hold that revealed how much he wanted you there, in his arms.

Your eyes just like his were closed. You breathed deeply his soft scent of candles and sun, memorizing everything all over again, just like you had in the cave. And he did the same.

For how long did the two of you remained like this, standing motionless in the sun? You had no idea. And he didn't know either. None of you could feel time flying by, this embrace was all that remained in the whole galaxy.

Eventually, you tightened your hold on him, lifting your chin just enough to bring your lips closer to his ear.

"Alright. Go ahead. Say it. Say it all…"

He cleared his throat before being able to speak again.

"How can you know what I want to say?" he asked back.

"Because I know you."

How could he argue with that statement?

"Y/N… I…"

It was his turn to tighten his hold on you and bury his face in the crook of your neck. But he did speak anyway.

"Y/N… what happened in that cave… I meant it. I really did mean it. All of it. I…"

He almost said the words, but couldn't.

"I do feel this way," he chose to speak instead.

Slowly, you nodded.

"I know, Obi."

He heaved a sigh, and detached his face from your neck, looking at you again. He raised his hand to cup your cheek, and you leaned into his touch.

It was exactly how you knew it would happen. First, he told you he meant it all. Then…

"I'm a Jedi, and you're… you're a Senator… We… we are not supposed to fall in love and be together. These things don't happen to people like us. We are supposed to live a lonely life while being surrounded with people."

… then he told you he was a Jedi and he couldn't be with you. And finally…

…finally he broke your heart.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts though. To gather the right words in his mind before speaking them. He needed to say it all the right way.

"I'm not allowed to love but I…"

He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes leaving yours to rest on your lips and jaw instead, and he seemed to change his mind. A small smile appeared on his features.

"Anakin told me something very wise earlier this morning. And I hate to admit it, but his logic was quite convincing."

He looked up at your eyes again, and this time, his stare didn't falter.

"I'm a Jedi and my duty lies in Peace. In protecting those who can't protect themselves. In the defence of the Republic and what it represents. It has been so all my life. But I can't do only that anymore. Not since I met you. No matter if we are together or not, my heart will always be beating for you, and I will always do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And by doing so… I'm already breaking my vow, in a way."

He took a sharp intake or breath, before speaking again.

"I am not the only one who has to take a decision, of course. And if you don't want me to stay, then I won't. If you don't want me to stay, I'll…"

You could see tears shining in his eyes as his voice broke. There was something desperate in his gaze, something passionate and yet calm. As if by taking a decision, he had found peace, but the confession stirred something inside him that he had never dared to act on until now. But there was so much truth in his eyes, and his hold on your cheek was such a tender caress and… you could barely breathe at all…

"If you don't want me to stay," he went on with a voice a little lower and deeper than usual, "I'll leave. I'll walk back to the Temple and leave you alone. And I won't try to see you again unless our duties call for our paths to cross once more. I'll go back to my room and in a few weeks, I'll leave for another world to fight while you are busy in the Senate. And our lives will go on unchanged and I will act as if nothing happened in that cave. Or…"

He paused for a second, moving his fingertips to rest in your hair, his thumb brushing across your cheekbone, making your heart pounding even more. You watched as he moved his head ever so slightly to the side, the sun caught in his hair and beard in a slightly different way through this angle, and you noticed every reflect of it. You were suspended to his words in such a way that you couldn’t move or speak or even think.

Because for now, all these words he had spoken, you were expecting them. But there was this 'or' that you had not foreseen, and all your crazy hopes relied on this single word. His voice a was little more fragile as he went on, a little more uncertain and yet you could see hope glimmer with the tears in his eyes now.

"Or you can ask me to stay and… I could stay for lunch. We could have a walk this afternoon and talk about your homeworld, and how Anakin drives me crazy, and the war, and peace. And when twilight arrives, we could have dinner together, and we could part for the evening with a little more than a 'good night'. And I could come back tomorrow and we could do that all over again. And on and on until I'm sent to the front again. And for a while we'll be apart, and I'll fight as a Jedi while you fight as a Senator, different battles but for the same goal. And once this war is over, and I am not as needed as I am now as a Jedi, and your duty as a Senator is over as well, perhaps we could… leave Coruscant for a while. Or forever."

You felt the tear run down your cheek but you were too shocked to react to it and brush it away. You tried to make sense of his words, but you weren't sure of their meaning yet. You had heard them, but could you believe them?

"You… Obi… You would leave the Order…?"

"When the war is over and the danger is passed and…"

But he interrupted himself, and merely nodded instead, running his finger through your hair.

"If you ask me to stay, I will."

"But it's your life! The Order is your life, you can't abandon it all! I can't let you throw it all away!"

"But you are my heart. I can't abandon it so easily either, can I? Unless… unless you don't want me to stay. And then I'll leave. I've made my choice by giving you this offer. But you have to choose as well. And whatever your choice might be, I will respect it."

You kept on staring at each other, but no words would pass your lips. Your fingers had gone numb with all the shock, resting on his shoulders but unable to hold on the fabric of his shirt anymore.

And you remained silent. For endless seconds, that turned into minutes, you were speechless and he was going mad…

He held you against him more tightly again, moving his lips towards your ear…

He wanted to ask you to tell him to stay. Just a few words that he wanted to ask so badly. He wanted you to choose him. He shouldn't, and guilt was a feeling he knew he would have to struggle with, but he loved you too much to act any differently. He just wanted to ask you to do one thing, one simple thing, just to stay…

Tell me to stay…

How he wanted to speak the words on the tip of his tongue. But he didn't.

Instead, he gave you a few more seconds, but you didn't make a sound. So, he closed his eyes as his heart shattered. Despite the pain, he didn't regret anything. It was worth all the pain.

He moved to drop a chaste peck on your temple, taking your silence for an answer, and he slowly released his hold on you.

"Farewell then, my love."

He took a step towards the door and away from you, turning around in a slow movement. But you didn't let him take another step. You took his hand in yours before he could move away again, and he turned to you once more.

"What about Koyo Melons for lunch then?"

You exchanged a bright grin.

And the next second, you were back in his arms and when you closed your eyes again, his lips weren't on yours in a dream, but in reality.

*********************

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[fialleril]

It was my birthday yesterday, and I was wondering if you would be willing to part with a snippet from early in Anabasis? No pressure at all if not. (Thank you either way)

Hey anon, sorry for the delay in replying. And happy belated birthday!

Early Anabasis, huh. Okay. I can definitely do that, though I warn you: this story is so long and I’ve been writing it over such a period of time that I already know I’m going to probably end up making a lot of changes (and possibly significant changes) to the early chapters especially. But what I’m posting here hasn’t seen those edits yet. So, some Early Installment Weirdness is probably to be expected.

Then again, diving back into the early chapters reminded me just how much fun philosophical debates between Obi-Wan and Padmé are to write. Obviously I need to revisit this more in later chapters.

This snippet is from very early on in the story (the earliest bit I’ve ever posted, actually), well before Anakin’s deposition or even the discovery of what his detonator actually was. At this point, even Padméknows very little about him.

Immediately before this, Padméand Sabépaid a visit to Anakin’s cell, along with most of the Jedi Council.

“Senator, I think you do very unwisely in this,” Obi-Wansaid, his voice pitched low to avoid the ears of civilian construction workersand the few Jedi who passed them in the Temple halls. Sabé followed behindthem, a silent shadow. “A Sith Lord is hardly trustworthy, and this one is hismaster’s apprentice.”

“Maybe,” said Padmé. “And I certainly don’t trust him ineverything. But you weren’t there, Obi-Wan.” She stopped walking, halting justbefore the door that opened onto Speeder Bay 6, and turned to face him. “Youweren’t there, but you know what that explosion did to him. There was a bomb inside of him, and it was the Emperorwho detonated it. I can’t forget that.” Her eyes slipped closed momentarily andshe shuddered. “I can’t ever forget that. And neither will he, of that I’mcertain.”

“Padmé,” Obi-Wan said, and she was surprised to hear thefrustration in his voice. At another time she might almost have laughed; ittook quite a bit to shake Obi-Wan Kenobi’s calm. But now was not the time.

“I don’t want to argue about this, Obi-Wan,” she saidfirmly. “I’m not a Jedi, and I don’t fully understand the Jedi concept of theworld, but I do understand grief. And I’m not advocating for amnesty for him,you know that. I only – ”

“But you might,” said Obi-Wan, and there was no disguisingthe emotion in his voice now. “The Council knows the line of investigationyou’ve been pursuing, but I’m afraid you’re only deceiving yourself, Senator. DarthVader may be young, but he’s far from innocent, and a Sith regardless of hisage. Indeed, the Sith Master now, as well you know.”

Padmé drew herself up sharply and leveled a glare at himthat had caused many an opponent to quail, on the Senate floor and in battle.“I don’t need a lecture from you, Jedi Kenobi,” she snapped. “My investigationis conducted at the behest of the Senate. While the Jedi Order is a respectedand valued institution of this Republic, the Jedi Council cannot expect the Senate or all members of the Republic to abide byits codes and precepts. This is a Senate matter and I will thank you not toinvolve yourself unasked!”

Naked surprise shone in Obi-Wan’s eyes, and his face wastroubled now as he stepped away from her. “Forgive me, Senator,” he said. “Itwas not my intent to impose anything on the Senate. I only meant to offeradvice to a friend.”

At this Padmé softened, her glare fading to a sad ghost of asmile. “I know, Obi-Wan,” she sighed. “I know. And I do appreciate your concern.But in this I really think you’re wrong, and I wish that you would respect myneed to understand.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “I don’t understand, that’s true,” he said.“The Sith have fooled the Senate and the Jedi alike once before, and the lossto the galaxy was incalculable. I don’t understand why you would wish to openyourself to that same deception.” Padmé looked ready to protest again, andObi-Wan quickly held up a hand to stall her. “But I do respect you, Padmé. Ihope you know that.”

“Yes,” she admitted. “I do. But how can you not be curious?How can you not want to know? There are no records in Imperial files, no birthcertificate, no medical history, not even record of a speeder sale or a credithistory. Darth Vader is a ghost, and as far as any record is concerned, AnakinSkywalker never existed at all. How can that not raise questions for the Jedi?”

Obi-Wan gave a twist of his shoulders and walked past her,into the speeder bay. Padmé followed, rather annoyed still, and Sabé trailedher, alert and silent, but smirking in a way that did nothing for Padmé’s mood.

“Because he’s a Sith,” Obi-Wan said, slipping into the backseat of the Naboo senatorial speeder with Padmé as Sabé took the controls andbegan to maneuver them out of the bay. “Of course there are no records. TheSith were secret for over a thousand years. If there ever were records, Vadermost likely destroyed them himself, and that ought to tell you a great dealabout him.”

“It doesn’t!” snapped Padmé. “It doesn’t at all. I watchedhim explode from the inside out, Obi-Wan, and all because he refused to killme. Is that something that fits your perfect picture of a Sith Lord?”

Obi-Wan glanced away, but Padmé gave him enough credit toknow he wasn’t really avoiding her. His eyes flicked with minute focus overeach passing speeder and to the windows of each towering skyscraper, ever alertfor danger or anything out of place. Her Jedi protector. She felt a suddenflash of guilt for her temper. He’d seen most of his order and his whole way oflife destroyed, largely at the hands of the man she was so desperate tounderstand. It was a sobering thought, and it cooled her anger. But it didn’tchange her mind.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am. I appreciate all you’redoing for the Republic, and for me. But Anakin isn’t a Jedi, and the Republichas no laws concerning Sith Lords. Therefore he must be regarded as any othercitizen of the Republic under the law, and we need to know as much about hiscase as possible.”

Obi-Wan frowned, but all he said was, “Just be careful,Padmé. He’s dangerous still.”

At that Sabé laughed, twisting to look over her shoulder atthem even as she piloted the speeder to a landing on the roof of 500 Republica.“Of course he’s dangerous, Kenobi. But for once he may not be a danger to you.”

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes at her, though whether in responseto her comment or to her piloting methods, Padmé wasn’t certain. But they’dlanded safely enough, and she had work to do.

Before her handmaiden could provoke the Jedi further, Padméstepped out of the speeder and turned to Obi-Wan. “I’m grateful as always foryour assistance, Jedi Kenobi,” she said formally. “But now I’m afraid I mustattend to other business.” She smiled. “I’ll see you again soon, for the nextvisit.”

“Until then,” said Obi-Wan, still casting a suspiciousglance at Sabé, then with a bow he turned and hurried away, toward the nearesttaxi terminal.

“Well, that’s that,” said Sabé, ushering Padmé into theelevator that would take them down the seven levels to her senatorialapartments. Her tone was casual, but her stance was ever alert, and thetelltale bulge of a blaster showed at her hip.

Padmé caught her eye and motioned vaguely around the squareof the elevator. Sabé’s gaze flicked rapidly over every surface, and thenagain, more slowly this time, and then her stance relaxed just slightly.

“Clean,” she said.

“Good,” said Padmé, rounding on her handmaiden. “Then youcan tell me what it was that you left for him in the fountain.”

Sabé blinked at her. For a long moment she said nothing, andPadmé had to fight the urge to laugh. For all her cunning, Sabé forgotsometimes that Padmé was no stranger to espionage herself.

“How did you know?” the handmaiden said at last.

“I’m glad you’re not denying it,” Padmé said, giving in tothe urge to laugh, just a little. “But you forget I spent six years as a Rebelspy in the Imperial Senate. I like to think I know a thing or two aboutstealth.”

“Do you think the Jedi noticed?” Sabé asked. Padmé couldn’trecall the last time she’d heard her friend sound genuinely nervous aboutsomething; her faint laughter died away.

“No,” she said slowly. “I don’t think they did. I can’timagine they would have let it go, if they had noticed. But mostly, I thinktheir suspicions of him kept them from paying much attention to either of us.We weren’t the danger in that room, for them.”

Sabé snorted indelicately. “Oh weren’t we? Sometimes, Iwonder if the Boss isn’t right about Jedi.”

“Sabé!” Padmé exclaimed in horror, but Sabé only waved heroff.

“No, no, I don’t mean like that,” she said. “Of course notthat. But they are a bit full of themselves, aren’t they?”

“I really don’t think they are,” Padmé said coldly, and asthe lift came to a stop, she strode rapidly through the doors and into herapartment, not once looking back at her handmaiden. “They’re survivors of agenocide, and I really don’t think making a mockery of that is – ”

“But you want to defend the man who enabled that genocide,”Sabé hissed, her voice so suddenly vicious that Padmé spun back to look at herin shock. “You want to understand. And if you really do, maybe you ought tostart by taking his views seriously.”

For a moment Padmé was still, caught suddenly by herhandmaiden’s words. It was not something she’d really considered before, andthere might be something to Sabé’s anger. But Sabé was in some ways likeAnakin, or more likely she’d learned the trick from him, and Padmé knew him toowell now to fall for his tricks from someone else.

“And perhaps you ought to answer my question,” she said,smiling at the faint surprise in Sabé’s eyes. “Your advice is noted, but so isyour avoidance. What did you leave in the fountain?”

The sudden venom melted from Sabé’s face, replaced by aferal grin. “All right, you caught me,” she said, though she hardly soundedconcerned. “It was a com. One-way, untraceable, encoded, easily destroyed.”

“And who does it contact?”

Sabé eyed her for a moment, the struggle more obvious on herface than she probably would have liked. At last she let out a long breath andsaid, “Another of his agents.”

Padmé blinked. “There were more of you? But I thought – he’sonly ever talked about you.”

“The Boss is good at keeping secrets,” Sabé laughed. “Youought to know that. And of course there were more of us. I’m good you know,Padmé, but I can’t be everywhere.”

But Padmé was hardly listening. She was thinking back overtheir visit, over the half-joking exchange between Anakin and Sabé and the waythey’d behaved more like old friends sharing an in-joke than like a Sith Lordand his agent. And she wanted to laugh at herself, because of course that was the joke.

“Two,” she said. “You said, ‘Two,’ and that’s the contact.”

Sabé raised an eyebrow at her, but her mouth was alreadytwisting in a grudging smile. “Very perceptive,” she said. Her eyes traced overPadmé’s face, searching. At last she said, “Are you going to tell anyone?”

Padmé was silent. She should, of course. She knew nothingabout any of Vader’s other agents, not even how many of them there might be,and she knew far less about Sabé than she wanted to admit to herself. It shouldprobably worry her, that her handmaiden seemed to owe greater loyalty to animprisoned Sith Lord than to her, that she could not be entirely certain of Sabé’smotivations – that even now, she knew Sabé had certainly not told hereverything, and would not.

But she’d known all of this when she hired the other woman.And she knew why it worried her less than it really should have. The detonatorwas still in her pocket, and Padmé thought that she and Sabé were really not sodifferent, after all.

She let out a long breath of air and turned back to Sabé,her shoulders dropping with her sigh. “No,” she said wearily. “I’m not going totell.”

[rptv-starwars]

Huge Ass-mitage (Hugh Armitage), the second Doofus Shill extraordinaire this week.

The person pictured above (referred to as Huge Ass-mitage going forward) wrote a cringe article about Star Wars plot holes (most having to do with the original trilogy and prequels).  It’s a pathetically transparent attempt at defending the Abrams/Johnson sequel trilogy (otherwise why bring this up now?).

I’m not arguing whether the sequels were bad or good (there are some things I like about them, and some things I don’t); that’s irrelevant. What is nauseating and loathsome is how this writer and others like him try to hide their true agenda (like the one I posted about 4 days ago).

“Use the convoluted explantions, luke”? That tagline is #SAD. This millennial sounds like an untalented baby boomer.

Link to the original article on the Digital Spy website is shown below, followed by his 9 plotholes and his explanation for each (and my rebuttal):

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/star-wars-biggest-plot-holes-060700779.html

1:  Huge Ass-mitage writes that “Obi-Wan's decision to give Luke his father's surname and hide him on Anakin Skywalker's home planet Tatooine (in his stepbrother's care, no less) was a really dumb idea.”

I partly agree with this one, except for two things:

a) It only became a plothole when the sequels came out (it was not a major issue with the original trilogy), and

b) The writer assumes Tatooine was on Vader's radar. I think Vader had more important things to worry about (like terrorizing the galaxy); he wouldn’t be keeping track of everyone on some distant planet. In addition, since this writer decided to bring in the prequels for his argument, he should also know that Tatooine is controlled by the Hutts and so Vader and the Empire would not have any business poking around in that part of the galaxy for 18 years.

Sloppy (on the part of the prequels) for sure , but I would not call it a MAJOR plot hole. #FAIL.

2. "Vader forgot C-3PO”. He claims this is a major plot hole (it's a minor one) but then proceeds to explain why it isn't (stating that Vader and C3PO don't really interact in the original trilogy, which I agree with). Second, it only became a plot hole with the prequels (that is not the fault of the original trilogy).  #FAIL.

3. “Obi-Wan didn't recognise the droids either” I partly agree with him on this one, but again, it wasn’t a problem with the original trilogy (it only became a problem when the prequels came out), and second, Obi Wan was not one to become attached to droids the way Luke was, and with all the droids Obi-Wan came in contact with, how would he remember an astromech and protocol droid from decades ago? #FAIL.

4. “Rey can speak droid and Wookiee” This is more of a failure of character development than a plothole, but Huge Ass-mitage tries to explain this away by citing some external reference material that most people have never heard of let alone read, called "Rey's survival guide", which was probably written specifically to fill in gaping plot holes. This reference says that Rey taught herself wookie and droid language in her spare time to be able to speak with wookie traders that pass through town (even though you never see them on Jakku. LOL).

And why wookie? Why not Bocce? or Walrus man language? Or whatever that giant praying mantis speaks? It’s just a little too convenient that it was Wookie.

Additionally, the writer’s argument still doesn't explain why nobody else in the star wars universe bothers to learn droid language (despite interacting with them every day) and just rely on readouts and protocol droids. But Rey decides to learn droid (and as far as we know she’s the only one). #FAIL

5. Rey can fly the Millennium Falcon?

The writer cites the same external reference nobody has read (”Rey's Survival Guide”) to explain that Rey owns an old Y-wing computer display that allows her to "run flight sims".

The problem with this argument is that this is never shown or alluded to in TFA.  When Finn asks her how she flew so well, her response wasn’t “I take flight simulation lessons on my computer”, but rather, “I don’t know!”  Lastly, simulation and real flying are different; ask any pilot.

Huge Ass-mitage also writes the following: “she [Rey] had a speeder, which is apparently all Luke Skywalker needed to help him become a crack pilot. Well, that and the Force.”

WRONG: A speeder is like a car, not an aircraft.  That Luke is a pilot is alluded to at least twice: once by Obi-Wan, and a second time when Luke says he use to shoot womp rats in his T-16, which we can safely assume is a spaceship (not a landspeeder). #FAIL

6. Luke's Jedi training with Yoda lasts about a day

Not really. The sense one gets from watching ESB is that Luke’s training lasts over a number of days (possibly more; we don’t know for sure how much time passes; Han Solo has been on the run from Jabba The Hutt for months or years apparently, so why not Han and Leia from the Empire?).

Contrast this with TFA, where Rey meets Han, he takes her to the cantina, she gets kidnapped by Kylo, then she escapes - it is clear this happens over no more than 1 or 2 days (it actually looks like it happened over a number of hours), and NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER is ever shown in that time span.

Regardless, I do agree with the writer that Luke’s training was too short a time when compared to the training jedis received in the Prequels. However that would make The Prequels more accurate than the original trilogy, which would then make the sequels a complete joke. #FAIL

7. Galen Erso (the Death Star engineer)

The writer says that this character sent a message to the rebels about the weakness of the death star, but did not send the plans as well (thereby forcing the Rebels to go on a huge quest which leaves most of them (including his daughter) dead? He also claims that the death star was “designed badly” because of this weakness and is therefore a plot hole as well.

My response is this: Nobody (except for one or two people I know of) ever considered the Death Star a plot hole. We just assumed like all villains or obstacles (Achilles’ heel, the wall in LOTR Two Towers, etc) sometimes there is a weakness you can exploit.  I mean, the Hindenburg was a feat of engineering that had a major flaw (which ended tragically). #FAIL.

8. R2-D2 wakes up just in time... for no reason

The writer of this article claims that BB8 having the other part of the map “causes R2-D2 to boot up”. But how would BB8 know to trigger R2-D2?  And why bother not being booted up already? It’s not like R2-D2 has to stay turned off (he can be recharged).

The writer then tries to explain how R2-D2 having the map is a plot hole (which it isn't).  The plot hole is not how R2-D2 has the map, but why he has it in the first place, if Luke didn't want to be found. #FAIL

9. Leia couldn't have remembered her mother

This one I actually agree with the writer (Huge Ass-mitage / Hugh Armitage). Unfortunately he tries to explain it away (again) with external sources (the star wars comics, which were only written to fill in the plot holes, so that doesn't count).

In summation, this hack “writer” from DIGITAL SPY is either a shill for Disney Lucasfilm or has absolutely no idea what the hell he’s talking about (maybe both).  I have no idea how people like him get jobs.

[crispyjenkins]

I dare you to write an Ani5 fix-it fic. I will not be taking criticism and will die on the hill that this is the most powerful ship and could’ve saved the entire clone wars. Bonus points if it features the ship Mace Windu/headaches (bc anakin is a walking mess of shatterpoints and lives to annoy Mace). Codywan to help knock some sense into anakin would also be top tier. I LOVE YOU ZEPH’BUIR

(of course i can’t do a whole fix-it in a quick prompt answer, but i think i’ve set it up for a far happier ending than in canon! support communication and education in relationships (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) and also adhd clones.

fives might be the most i’ve ever struggled with a character (‘cept maybe ahsoka....) so it took a little while to figure out how to write this scene in a way i liked. also, had to go and watch fives clips to try and get my autism brain working, and BOY HOWDY do i actually hate dbb’s take on the clones, especially the accent but everything else too. their character designs make me want to cry. so i’m begging, for me, to imagine this fives like this especially because then we get Tol Anakin and a Smol Clone BF and i think that is a seriously underutilised dynamic.

thank you for the prompt, ad, and for cursing me with this ship in the first place. someday i’ll get around to actually writing them as the battle husbands they are 🧡)

Alt+R to quick reblog on desktop, Hold the reblog symbol to quick reblog on mobile

  Echo's always been good with programming, but Fives is better with the actual building. He's not any good with inventing, maybe, but putting things together? Opening them up and knowing immediately what's wrong? Fives would even say he enjoys it — and being able to talk shop with Skywalker like they're nobody mechanics from the Outer Rim instead of General and Soldier makes the long hyperjumps between missions actually bearable. 

  How that led to him sitting in a rarely used hallway on the Resolute with Skywalker ("Anakin," he keeps insisting with a smile), both leant over a mouse droid in pieces on a drop cloth, Fives isn't really sure. It probably had something to do with Skywalker's excited bounce when he'd come to ask if Fives wanted to help him, the sparkle in his eye reminding Fives just how young the both of them are. How, technically, he's older than Anakin.

  Because, yeah, he is Anakin, not Skywalker, when they're like this. With his growing knight cut a curly untamed cloud around his ears, grease smeared on the underside of his jaw, with Fives stripped down to his blacks from the waist up, with even his blasters set on the floor next to them. 

  With it quickly becoming clear that Anakin doesn't actually need help to rewire the mouse droid, but had asked for Fives to join him anyways.

  They've been at it for a few hours now, their jokes winding down to companionable quiet as they both work on separate parts of the droid. It honestly might have been easier to start from a scrap droid than try to rewire this one correctly, but it's easy work Fives could do blindfolded, and sharing the mutually-focused silence is actually quite nice.

  Anakin is elbow-deep in the outer casing when he finally asks, "Do the clones feel love?"

  And Fives almost gets up and walks away. He knows not every battalion ended up with a good Jedi, that the 212th and the 501st had been so kriffing lucky to end up with "The Team", but sometimes he forgets. Maybe that's the worst part of it: slow, personal moments like this, Fives forgets he's not natborn and bearer of a face shared with millions. Being around his general makes him forget, and maybe he had taken that for granted until now.

  Or maybe it's for that reason that he hesitates from storming off, because Anakin had been the one to name Alpha, to insist on giving them proper leave, to defend them from anyone who talks down at them even if they're a planetary leader. And Rex had said something, once, about Anakin’s brain working in either/ors, being hardwired in some way to only see in black and white and believing that if you're one thing, you can't be another. That what Anakin says isn't always what he means.

  So instead, he asks, "What kind of love are we talkin'?"

  Anakin refuses to raise his head, and Fives can almost see him stressing about how to phrase this.  "Y'know, grand romance and stuff. One-and-onlys and holodrama romcom propaganda and imagining growing old together."

  "'Not quite sure what you're asking, sir." He takes a deep breath. "The short answer is yes, we can and do feel that, but the long answer is I can't speak for every brother, and I would not want to. Some of us don't feel that." Shrugging, he passes Anakin a socket wrench before he can ask for it. "But it's not because we can't, not because of the longnecks. We're bred to be obedient, sir, not emotionless."

  Quiet settles over them again while Anakin processes this, his mouth twisted rather horribly. Fives starts to think he would do a whole awful lot to turn that frown back into a haughty smile. 

  "What do you really want to ask, General?"

  "I'm married to Senator Amidala."

  Now, everyone with eyes knows that. Maybe Torrent knows even better, when they've been covering for their general for over a year now, and clearly the Jedi just aren't doing anything about it — but Fives also knows Anakin has never actually told anyone about this, not even General Kenobi. Rex says Anakin still thinks they've been discreet.

  "If I may be blunt, sir, this is not news."

  And Anakin actually laughs at that, shaking his head as he tosses down his tools to stare at the opposite wall instead. Fives watches his gaze go distant, somewhere far away from the Resolute lost in the middle of space. “I’ve loved her since I was nine years old, Fives. I loved her through not seeing her for a decade, through her assassination attempts and the First Battle of Geonosis and becoming a knight, and I...”

  Fives sighs once. “No one said you had to stay in love, sir.”

  “But that’s just it,” he groans. “I’ve never known how to do anything else, how to be anything else. I don’t... know who I am without it.”

  He has to look away from Anakin, then, because he’s seen brothers go stupid for people they meet on campaigns, or for their Jedi, and Fives isn’t nearly as young as some of the shinies out there, but he knows what it looks like, when they leap in without thinking. He lets out a long, slow breath, his eyes falling on the ‘saber at Anakin’s hip. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

  Anakin blinks at him, and nods.

  “That’s too young to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life.” Fives raises a brow at his general’s startled expression, which is maybe more amusing (endearing) than it has any business being. “General, you’re barely an adult, just the same as the vode. If my mental timeline is right, you weren’t even twenty standard when you married Amidala, which, frankly, was reckless and unfair on her part.”

  “Padmé would never–”

  “I don’t mean intentionally, sir. The fact of the matter is, no wonder you don’t know who you are without her, because you’ve always had her.” That decade of no contact notwithstanding, considering Anakin didn’t not have her, either. “Senator Amidala knew who and what she was before you, and she’ll know who and what she is without you.”

  “That’s not quite fair,” Anakin grumbles, but his throat is flushed in what Fives hopes is entirely appropriate guilt, or at the very least embarrassment. “It was my idea to get married after Geonosis.”

  Fives snorts. “The idea of a child thrown into war, afraid to lose anything.”

  “You’re being uncharacteristically candid, Fives.”

  “Respectfully, sir, the last thing you need is to be coddled.” His general laughs again, this time good and bright in a way he hasn’t heard before; and then Fives can’t help what he admits next. “We weren’t allowed toys, or anything.”

  Laughter cutting off abruptly, Anakin’s eyes grow haunted instead. There might not be anyone else in the galaxy with quite the same experience as the clones, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t those that understand.

  “Hevy made me and Echo– Well, he said they were mythosaurs like Kal taught us about, but they looked more like sad loth cats. He cut up his own bedsheet to make ‘em, and couldn’t tell the longnecks what he’d done with it, so he just slept on the bare mattress.”

  “Fives...”

  But it’s clear Anakin doesn’t actually know what to say, so Fives pushes on. “Some of Fett’s instructors tried to teach us Mando’a, you know? I think Spar is the only brother that ever got fluent, the rest of us have been making up words and combining them with Basic and Kaminoan and whatever else the Cuy’val Dar spoke that sometimes we don’t even remember what language they are anymore.”

  “I didn’t learn Basic until I was five.” Anakin thunks his head onto the wall behind him with a sigh, the mouse droid forgotten at his feet. “Other padawans always told me I was lucky Master Obi-Wan knew Huttese.” Ahh, kark, his general had been a Hutt salve; at least the spice runners made sure their slaves could communicate with their customers. “I couldn’t read a word of Aurebesh when I first came to the Temple, though to be fair, I couldn’t read anything else, either.”

  “You grow up around other kids?”

  “Yeah, my mom and I lived in the biggest slave slum on Tatooine.”

  Fives doesn’t need to tell him how lucky he was just to have had their own quarters. “I think, sir, that the vode know better than you think, what it’s like always standing on the edge of losing everything.”

  Squeezing his eyes closed, Anakin inhales sharply and clenches his fists over his knees. “What happened? To your mythosaur toys?”

  “One of the longnecks found them while we were in training, ‘threw them out before we got back. I think Hevy was even more upset than we were.”

  The leather glove over his prosthesis creaks as he tightens his grip on his own palms. “Was it easy? To just... forget about them?”

  “Of course not,” Fives snorts and crosses his arms, “we were the equivalent of eight standard at the time, but we honestly didn’t have a choice. As we got a little older, we stopped trying to put meaning in things, because we weren’t allowed things. Our names are our only real possession, even our armor can be taken from us, but we will not, cannot, let anyone take our names.”

  Groaning, Anakin scrubs his hands over his face before pushing himself up to finally look at Fives properly. He still doesn’t speak for a moment, just watching him, then teases flatly, “You’ve been spending too much time with Cody and Obi-Wan, you’re starting to speak in riddles.”

  “They are riddles only to you, sir.” He offers a small smile, and is only slightly disappointed when Anakin doesn’t return it.

  Instead, he lets out a winded breath. “So. You’re saying that it’s not easy to let go of even small things, but we must. And then there are things that we shouldn’t let go of?”

  “Some things aren’t ours to keep.”

  Anakin swallows. “Like Padmé,”

  “Like any person, no matter what sort of love we have for them.”

  Groaning, Anakin pulls his knees back up close and drops his face into his arms. “But I still love her.”

  Knowing that this is not a new problem, that General Kenobi has been trying to teach his general this for as long as they’ve known each other, Fives takes a moment to consider. “You don’t really have to stop loving her.”

  “But you said–”

  “You think I stop loving my brothers when they die?”

  Whether or not it’s healthy to hold onto affections for someone after a romantic relationship is a conversation for another time, Fives decides, and leans over to pick up where Anakin had left off with the droid.

  “General, it sounds to me like you already know all this,” he says, twisting a wire into the grip of his glove to yank it from the motor. “And  that you’re digging your feet in — which is the crux of the problem, isn’t it?”

  “You sound like Obi-Wan,” he groans, but doesn’t deny it.

  “Hmm, well, at least we’re still just kids.”

  Anakin very slowly looks up from his arms, just enough for Fives to see his wide eyes. “What do you...?”

  “Well, we’ve still got time to learn, don’t we?” Fives raises his eyebrow as he fits the new wire into the motor and starts to close all the panels back up. “I still think about Hevy and Droidbait and Cutup, and honestly, I still think about Echo’s and my mythosaurs. That’s not a bad thing, I don’t think, not even the Jedi would think that’s bad. I’m still angry when my vode don’t get funerals and I honestly hold that against the Chancellor and the Jedi both. But I don’t get to go back to Kamino and take my anger out on the longneck that took our toys, and I’m... working on it, not being so angry with the generals. I’m still angry. But I know the Jedi have about as much say in all of this as we do, and I know burying my brothers won’t bring them back. So I’m working on it.”

  “I... don’t have to be good at it all at once.”

  “Great Maker, General, just because you’re the Chosen One doesn’t mean you have to actually be good at absolutely everything from the start. You just have to try, and you still have time to.”

  He looks up and finds Anakin already smiling back. “Fives, I could kiss you.”

  “Considering it sounds like Senator Amidala just divorced you, I think that’s a very bad idea, sir.”

  “Bah, you’re no fun.”

  Fives feigns offense, “This mouse droid we’ve rigged to follow Captain Rex around and scream says differently.”

-

  The night the 501st returns to the Resolute after finally (kriffing finally) leaving Umbara, Fives finds a hand-sewn stuffed mythosaur on his bunk, with a string collar and a dogtag etched with CT-782.

-

Mando’a: Cuy’val Dar — “Those who no longer exist”, group of 75 Mando’ade and 25 others put together by Jango to train the clones vod/e —  “brother/s, comrade/s, sibling/s”, technically gender neutral but used most often in fandom as “brother/s” (*in this context, fives is using brothers as gender neutral as well, because you won’t take trans and nb clones even from my cold dead hands*)