#it is going to be a bitch and a half to make sure it formats properly on AO3

[chiyana]

hey, so uhhhh

For those of you reading First Kontact, I don't know when exactly this chapter is going to be, but I've been working on a chapter that's gonna give a big chunk of backstory/world-building to the over-arching plot I dumped entirely too much into this sci-fi horror/meet-cute romcom thing

and due to the way I've chosen to write it, everything is conveyed through dialogue and direct thoughts, and the two point of view characters are differentiated by bold vs. italics and all caps vs. all lowercase (and also how they talk but the formatting makes it more visually striking/crunchier)

which has been very cool and fun to experiment with but I am. for sure fucking up my eyesight with having like, a good solid half a page of just the word "WARM" blazed across my screen.

anyway you've got that to look forward to, good luck! (I'm so sorry.)

[followingthebutterflies7]

Caught in 4K

Spencer Agnew x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.4K

Summary: Your secret crush on Spencer Agnew gets exposed during a Smosh video when your TikTok likes, aka a shrine of thirst edits, are broadcast to the whole cast.

Warnings: Mild language, secondhand embarrassment, mutual pining

Disclaimer: This fic was inspired by a concept originally posted by @franklyspencer and brought to them by @illpunchyouintheface . Huge thanks to both of them for the brilliant idea!

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The Smosh studios always had a pulse to it. Somewhere between organized chaos, infectious laughter, and sibling-like rivalries, it was alive. And you loved it. Further inside the set was buzzing as everyone prepared for a brand new shoot. Camera lights were warming up, someone was yelling for cast members to get in their chairs, and laughter echoed in from the breakroom.

You adjusted your mic pack, settling onto your chair in between Angela and Arasha. You were filming a brand new video that had been Courtney’s idea, “We Go Through Each Other’s TikToks.” The set up was similar to Beopardy, Shanye would be hosting but instead of presenting questions from a whiteboard, he would be presenting your TikTok accounts by screensharing them on a TV for everyone to see.

Despite the new format, you weren’t that nervous. You knew how to get through a video like this. Start with some banter, then light roasting, allow for some embarrassing moments, and overreact for a thumbnail, but today you had one very specific reason to be nervous.

Spencer Agnew.

He wasn’t filming this one, but you’d seen him walking around the office earlier, half-laughing at something Damien had said, his hoodie pushed up to his elbows and his hair doing that fluffy thing. Your stomach had done a very unnecessary little flip. You’d had a crush on him since practically your first week at Smosh years ago. Spencer was funny, charming in that awkward, goofy way, and he was effortlessly cool when he wasn’t trying to be. It was criminal how hot he was to you, really.

You liked Spencer so much. Stupidly, painfully liked him.

And you’d been sure you were hiding it well—until you remembered your TikTok likes. The ones filled with Spencer edits. Each and every single edit you had sent to Courtney. You hadn’t thought about it before agreeing to this video. Rookie mistake.

“All good to roll?” Courtney called from behind the camera. They were directing today, headset slightly askew and clipboard in hand. A smirk slowly crept onto their face.

“Yep!” Shayne said, as he started collecting Angela’s and Arasha’s phones. “Let’s ruin each other’s lives.”

Angela laughed. “Again.”

You forced a smile, tugging your phone out of your back pocket and placing it into Shayne’s open hand. This was fine. It would probably be fine.

---

Twenty minutes in, and it was going... actually pretty great.

Arasha’s liked videos were full of hilarious POV videos and cool aesthetics. Angela had a suspicious number of raccoon videos. You had dodged a bullet by making sure the list of who you followed was clean, but did get made fun of for following a couple slime making accounts. You had thought you were in the clear.

Then Shayne raised an eyebrow. “Okay, now for the real dirt! Let’s look through your liked videos.”

You stiffened. “Wait, mine?”

Arasha grinned. “You’ve been suspiciously calm. Time to investigate.”

“No no no, wait, maybe we skip me-” You laughed, a little too loud, a little too fake.

Too late.

With your phone screen being shared to the TV, Shanye clicked onto your profile and then to your liked videos, which you had on private for a reason.

The first video was a Spencer edit. It was loud and fast, with flashing lights and Limp Bizkit music blaring as clips of Spencer Agnew flew across the screen. The caption mirrored the music lyrics as it read: “bitches love me.”

The room erupted.

Shayne wheezed and doubled over in shocked laughter. “NO WAY.”

Angela screamed, her mouth dropping. “You’re KIDDING.”

Arasha completely froze, unsure of what she was actually seeing. “That’s Spencer! Right?”

You placed your face in your hands, desperately trying to hide the blush that was furiously creeping across your face.

“Can we just go to the next one, please?” You begged. A mistake.

The second video showed clips of Spencer in his college short films. Slower clips of him in a button down shirt, walking down the street, or having blood dripping down his face scrolled across the TV with an Ariana Grande song playing.

More screaming from the room. Shayne scrolled again.

The third video confirmed what everyone had been thinking. It had clips of Spencer doing various activities, but cut in a way that made them suggestive. He was leaning, pushing up his sleeves, running his fingers through his hair, and making out with a mannequin. And the song choice, it spoke for itself.

You so crazy, I think I wanna have your baby

What a man, what a man, what a man

What a mighty good man, yes he is

Your soul left your body. You couldn’t look anymore. “I forgot those were in there! I was just mindlessly scrolling!” You desperately tried to save yourself.

“You have like ten of them in a row!” Shayne barked, scrolling further and further down. “There’s one where he’s just dressed up as John D. Bad, The Chosen, Gentleman Spencer, and Fred Darts as a thirst trap!”

“Oh no,” you whined. “Can we cut all this, please?” You turned to look directly into the cameras to plead. You knew it was no use. This was perfect content.

Courtney peeked around the camera, eyes sparkling. “So… when’s the wedding?” You just stared at them in disbelief, then, all the puzzle pieces fit into place.

“Stop! No!” You looked around for something to throw at them, but came up short. “You did this!” Courtney just giggled.

“I sent those to you in confidence, Court! Judas!” You hissed at them and everyone just laughed harder. “They’re just cool edits!”

Angela leaned toward you, absolutely beaming. “You have a crush on Spencer.”

“I do not—!”

“You do!” Arasha piped up. “And we’ve all known for ages”

Your jaw dropped. “What?!”

Courtney nodded, deadpan. “We have bets on it.”

“You have BETS?!”

Cue more laughter. Shayne was wheezing, Angela had tears in her eyes, Arasha was doubled over, Courtney just grinned evilly. You sunk down into your chair, wishing you could evaporate.

What you didn’t see among the chaos was Spencer. He was standing off-camera, holding his water bottle full of Kickstart and frozen in place like someone had hit pause on his whole body. He’d wandered in halfway through the shoot, sick of working at his desk and in need of a break, and stayed when he heard your voice. Then the edits appeared. His edits. On your account.

And the way you panicked. How red your cheeks went. How your voice cracked when you tried to deny it. He couldn’t believe it.

You liked him?

You liked him.

It was like a light switched on in his head. The lingering eye contact, the way you always laughed a little too hard at his dumbest jokes, how you knew his drink order. This whole time, it wasn’t just him pining.

You were pining too.

---

Later, once the shoot wrapped, you lingered behind while the others filtered out. Courtney was still teasing you under their breath and apologizing for the set up at the same time. Angela gave you the most dramatic wink of your life. You were still sitting in your chair and just staring at your phone, contemplating deleting your entire TikTok history, when someone cleared their throat.

“Hey.”

You looked up and there he was.

Spencer. Hoodie sleeves still pushed up, hair still a little messy, and now an unreadable look in his eyes.

“Oh no,” you said, half-laughing. “You saw all that, didn’t you?”

“I… yeah,” he said sheepishly. “I wasn’t trying to, I just walked in.”

You buried your face in your hands. “I’m so embarrassed. Spencer, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said quickly. “I think it was… actually really sweet.”

You peeked through your fingers. “Seriously?”

He scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah... And… I know something that might make you feel better.”

You tilted your head.

“I’ve been liking your edits too.” Spencer confessed, fidgeting a bit as he spoke. “I mean, like fan edits of you. There are a few. Some are really good, actually. But I like them too, if you know what I mean.”

You stared. “Wait, you like me?”

He smiled, almost shy. “Kind of a lot.”

You blinked. “We’re idiots.”

“The dumbest,” he agreed.

There was a long pause. Comfortable, now. His eyes searched yours, soft and curious.

“So,” he said, “now that we’ve both been caught in 4K…”

You grinned. “Wanna get dinner sometime?”

He nodded. “I thought you’d never ask.”

[mikeypubes]

Hi, I really love your ‘character as your boyfriend’ that you do.

I would really like to see Levi or Tsukasa next in your usual format.

thanks in advance and have fun !

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱ levi ackerman relationship headcanons ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

[ Note: I did indeed have fun 🥀 thank you for your support 🥹 ]

⍣ ೋ

SFW

I think you’d have to be a balance between mature and silly to be in a relationship with levi

He’d get along better with someone who isn’t as serious as he is, like think of Petra’s dynamic with levi. I think his ideal type is someone similar to Petra.

Getting into a relationship with this man is HARD.

He’s the kind of guy who would humble you with a cold rejection if you ever asked for his number so don't have any hopes 👍

Anyway, say y’all had a relationship during the og universe, you’d have to accept that he’s a soldier who could die at literally any moment.

So he expects that you wouldn’t fuss over him “getting himself in danger” because that’s his literal job.

He likes it when you tend to any wounds he has, though it doesn’t happen often because bffr who has the power to injure THE levi??

I don’t think he’s all that into physical affection, like his love language would be quality time, to be honest. 

I feel like it could also be words of affirmation, except his “affirmations” aren’t… what they usually would be.

His affirmations would often be blunt and vague, like "you're not completely useless" or "it’s quieter when you’re not around." 

You’re not really getting much more than that so learn how to enjoy these moments

You guys definitely sip tea together quietly or you could yap his ears off while he rests his chin on his palm and listens to you. 

He might caress your cheek or chin every once in a while.

Kisses are rare, but hugs are RARER bitch you ain’t never getting a hug from him, it’s all on you.

He tolerates SOME hugs, like maybe he was in danger and you’re glad he’s fine, or if you reallyyyy need some sort of comfort or affection so you throw yourself on him, he’ll frown and act as if he doesn’t like it. 

He’ll still rest his palm on the top of your head and his gaze might soften a little.

He shows his love by scolding you and by cleaning your room. Prove me wrong.

If you try flustering him, you’re gonna be met with a straight ass deadpan, but when he turns around, you can see how reddened his ears are.

I don’t think he gets jealous a lot, just protective. 

Regardless, I can see him feeling a TAD 🤏 bit insecure. 

He probably thinks from time to time that being around him is boring and routine, and seeing you laugh and have fun with other people can sometimes spike that feeling up.

The two of you read together in calm silence. Your head rests against his chest while one of his hands gently cradles it, the other holding his book steady.

You two have this deadpan humor where no one knows if you're serious or joking half the time.

he'll fix your scarf if it's crooked, he’ll quietly push your hair behind your ear, or casually press his fingers against your lower back when guiding you through crowds.

NSFW

Oh boy.

I don’t think he has experience, tbh. He knows what to do, but he’s gonna be awkward and a bit hesitant. 

He’s also gonna be SUPER clean, like he’s going to wipe everything off and make sure nothing gets gross at any point. 

He’s gonna make you shower before y’all get down and dirty 😜

He’s terrible with words. He’s not gonna praise you, not gonna degrade you, just the occasional “Is this fine?” or “Tell me if it hurts.” with a serious face.

He’s surprisingly gentle. You’d think that the strongest soldier would have a rough touch to him, but no, he’s totally soft and slow. 

He’s definitely the dominant one, but he might let you on top if he’s feeling particularly lazy.

He’s so precise. Midway through the freaky (😋), he might pause to fix a pillow that’s crooked or straighten the sheets because “This is distracting.”

If something interrupts the mood LOLOL like someone shouting outside or walking in on you two, Levi will immediately go deadpan. “We’re done here.” He is NOT backing off. 

His filter disappears sometimes in the worst ways. While he’s balls deep inside, you’ll randomly hear “Your hair’s in my mouth.”

He’s gonna get SO annoyed at how loud the bed creaks. “Tch. Piece of junk.” 

He’s tried to tighten the screws three separate times but it only gets louder each time. 

He has zero stamina in bed and his libido isn’t that high. Whenever you guys have sex, it’s probably because you’re the one who wanted it. 

So yeah one round is your maximum.

Nice aftercare, though. He’ll make you a hot cup of tea and wipe you down thoroughly after the vigorous fucking 🤺

hope you enjoyed <33

⍣ ೋ

[traegorn]

So when I do finish this book I am writing (speaking it into existence bc adhd is a BITCH) Like what's your experience with publishing? How much does it usually cost? What kinda income does one get? I don't really care about making money but it would be super neat to make something since I cannot work. How do taxes work on that also? Google is confusing me

So far i have an idea and half a first chapter with thrilling notes such as " add a cat" and "insert spell here"

So I self publish, so that's the world I know. If you want to find a traditional publisher, you'll need to query agents and do a bunch of other stuff. My only advice for traditional publishing is that when going that route, money should always flow towards the author. If they're asking you to pay for something, they aren't a traditional publisher and there's a good chance it's a grift.

So let's talk about what I do know.

(And this turned out to be long as hell, so I'm putting in a "keep reading")

When you self publish, you are effectively acting as the publisher. If you want someone to do edits? You'll have to hire an editor. If you want someone to do the book layouts? You'll have to hire someone to do it if you can't do it yourself. You need a cover? You get the idea.

Now I don't pay an editor, so I can't really give you a price range on how much they cost off the top of my head. I do know they can get expensive though.

I also do all my own interiors, but I have a graphic design background and have been doing print layouts for decades. If you want to hire someone to do the interiors, that can run you $100-500, so I recommend just... learning to do it yourself.

Frankly, it's not terribly hard. I do mine in Apple Pages on my Mac for my paperbacks and Amazon has a free program for formatting eBooks (which you can export both as the Kindle format OR the more universal ePub format). With your print version, you just want to make sure you get your margins right, along with using a standard font like Times New Roman.

Like, literally just pick up a book and study the layout. Look at the front matter (copyright page, title page, etc) of a handful of books and mimic what you find there. I don't know why so many self published authors get that bit wrong. It's a book. Format it like a book.

Now the cover... this is where you'll probably end up spending something. I do my own covers for my comics, but hire out for my novels because I can't do the kind of covers expected of my genre. And you do want to match your genre, because you want a potential reader to know what they're getting into. I've seen so many self published books with terrible covers and it drives me nuts.

Cover design can run you anywhere from $35-$400 depending on who you choose to contract, and this is where I recommend you spend your money. On the cheap end you have companies like GetCovers. Now they primarily do covers made from edited stock photos, and I've honestly been pretty satisfied with their work... but you have to hold their hand and be very clear with what you want.

GetCovers is a part of Mibl Group, and it's pretty much all of their most inexperienced employees. The whole point of it is to get them the experience to work on bigger projects down the road. They have cheaper packages, but for their best work you'll probably only spend like $35-$45. If you're working in a genre that mainly uses stock images, that's who you want.

I often end up retouching the covers they do though, because I'm impatient. Like there are edits to The Witch and the Rose and Shadowcasting I made after they handed me the completed files. You're going to have to be very specific with what you want. The first version of the Bloody Damn Rite cover they did... was awful. But they did the revisions I asked for, and the version they delivered in the end was great.

Now if you want, like, original art or just more complicated, custom stuff? You're looking at at least $250 on the cheap end, but sometimes you end up in the ballpark of $700-$1000. Like on their regular site (just to use the same company as GetCovers for comparison), the Mibl group charges like $300 for a more complicated stock photo based cover (that requires more complicated edits) and at least $700 for covers that require digital painting, 3d modeling, etc.

There are a wide range of prices depending on what you're asking for. But, y'know, you're paying that once for a commercial piece of graphic design.

I'm cheap and can do some of the work myself, so I go for the $35 cover. I also figure out what fonts they used for the covers, so I can go buy my own commercial license for them and replicate a similar logo on my title page. You don't need to do that bit, I'm just finicky.

Actually publishing the book is easy. You'll want to use a self publishing platform like Kindle Direct Publishing or IngramSpark (or, if you're like me, both). I sell KDP books on Amazon, but all other distribution is through IngramSpark. You make more money on Amazon by using KDP, but even though they offer distribution, no book store will ever order through them. So I turn that option off, and then I take the same book and I make it available through IngramSpark.

On amazon I make a little more than $2 on a $3 ebook, and about $4.00 on a $12.99 paperback. When a bookstore buys an IngramSpark version, I make about $2.50 on a $14.99 book (if you wondered by my books cost more when not buying it through Amazon... that's why). Now if you buy yourself author copies, they cost way less -- in the end I think I can get them for like $5 a book? So when I sell them in person, my margins are much higher.

But, y'know, you have to actually sell them.

Because that's the hard part. When self publishing, you only have you to market it. I don't know how many books I'd be selling if I didn't have a pre-existing audience -- and even then it's not a huge amount. I've sold about 200 books this year? Which isn't nothing, and I appreciate every single person who's purchased one of my titles, but it's obviously not enough to quit my day job for, y'know?

That said, I've known people who do sell enough to make a steady living. So it's possible for sure.

But it's not going to happen overnight, and it won't be easy.

As for taxes, you'll need a 1099 and do stuff with the Schedule C. I always forget exactly what until I'm actually doing them, but it's not super hard, just annoying.

[lunarriviera]

the huo daofu round-up post i have been threatening for a really long time now

Thinking about this man, I was just admitting to chat "honestly cannot believe how much life energy i have invested in such a minor character" but the truth of the matter is, I was mildly obsessed with Huo Daofu from Reboot alone; his odd unresolved backstory in Sha Hai just cemented my mental formation. Because let's be real, in a world of overly earnest tomb raiders, this man is a goddamn catty delight. The dainty bitterness! The barely concealed eye-rolling! So many impeccable That Bitch vibes. And his unimpressed snark is honestly such a refreshing antidote to Wu Xie's whole everyone-loves-him Marty Sue thing that even when you discover Huo Daofu secretly ALSO loves him, you don't mind, because by that point Dr. Youtiao is a savage queen who can do no wrong.

And He Longlong clearly made this guy up. In the novels he's just sort of a vaguely beardy guy who drives a truck, that's literally all I remember him ever doing. But someone cast this man, and they gave him some rubber bands and pizza coupons and chewed gum of a script to work with, and he promptly decided: I will make him extremely gay. And staggeringly bitchy. AND IT WORKS. He devours every frame he's in, he steals every scene. It's a performance worthy of Alan Rickman and yes I will die upon this hill.

We all know the bitchy-ex-boyfriend scenes in Reboot—"oh my god I literally can't wait for you to perish from lungs" and then Huo Daofu spends like every moment trying to keep Wu Xie alive, sheltering him uselessly from the rain with his hand, rubbing his back when he coughs, looking (when no one's watching but the camera) like he's maybe going to stop breathing himself, when Wu Xie does.

Apparently Huo Daofu's name sounds very silly in Chinese which I think is appropriate for someone who apparently (?) grew up in Germany (?) and went to the University of Heidelberg (?) (honestly don't waste time trying to figure out DMBJ canon, NPSS has thoughtfully ensured that will only be exhausting and futile). Spurious medical qualifications aside, he's super handy in fanfic, too, when you need a sketchy doctor, as all tomb-raiding mob families invariably do.

[someone once pointed out to me that this combination of degree topics basically translates into "how to dispose of bodies"]

I could also hold forth on him and Yang Hao—like, Su Wan alone makes it REAL clear that Huo Daofu's interest in the kid isn't just avuncular or entrepreneurial:

"Are you working for him, or are you working for him?" And Su Wan should be protective, because Yang Hao is honestly kind of an idiot, and probably doesn't realize he's being assiduously groomed not just as a mob boss but as a potential boy toy. (NB by the way that there are 44 fics in the Huo Daofu/Yang Hao tag, and disappointingly, not a single one of them is in English. Western fandom needs Jesus.)

But the thing is, Huo Daofu SAVES his ass in Gutongjing. Everyone forgets that. There's easily half a dozen times where he grabs Yang Hao's shoulder and hauls him back from danger. And Huo Daofu is the one Jiumen member smart enough to get out ahead of disaster, and to take Yang Hao with him. Here he is looking fabulous in a completely unnecessary but dramatic scarf.

And, at the end, he lets Yang Hao go. Because he's secretly decent.

Sure, he has some vaguely sketchy take-over-the-Huos plans, plans that clearly go awry at some point no matter how dramatically and villainously he makes tea. Sure, he exudes a scurrilous sort of evil. But he's COMPELLING and that's all I care about. Look at his pretty little face here, sourly plotting things, in a windowpane-checked suit which should be ridiculous but just winds up looking snazzy as fuck compared to the rest of the Jiumen. This is a man who understands the value of a pocket square. Thank you so much, He Longlong, we didn't deserve you putting your entire snatch into this very minor performance but some of us are extremely grateful.

So here are seven ficrecs, with a podfic and a meta from AO3. Please let me know if I should add anything (Tumblr meta?)—this post WILL be updated, because I have too much time on my hands and care unreasonably about the mean-spirited little bastard.

‡

Remember how this used to be (3569 words) by achray Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Wu Xie (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Angst, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Background Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie being a gremlin, Canon-typical references to illness Summary:

“That wasn’t a no,” Wu Xie said, his smile widening. “I thought you still wanted me.”

Notes: How is this both hot and sad? I don't know, that's the magic of fanfiction. This was the first Wu Xie/Huo Daofu fic I ever read and frankly the genre needs more entries, but this is a good one.

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the rime dictionary of Wu Xie (7433 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wang Pangzi/Ye Piaopiao, Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling, Ye Piaopiao, Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Xiao Mei, Wu Erbai, Li Jiale (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Piaopiao lives, Post-Canon, Canon Flashbacks, canonical illness, fun with the common cold, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Handwaved SI Recovery, Canon-typical Ershu Infodump, Quasi-History-Compliant, Yuletide Treat Summary:

This is why (even now) Wu Xie shouldn’t be let out alone—one trip out to the provinces, and he comes home with a bad cold and an unsolved mystery.

Notes: this is one of my very favorite Huo Daofu writers and here's why—read this little excerpt. The angst. The PAIN. Wu Xie absolutely broke this man's heart at some point and honestly Huo Daofu is really only himself if he's suffering, love that for him:

“Easy,” he said, when Wu Xie couldn’t seem to stop coughing. “Here—” and reached for the rest of the tea, except that it wasn’t on the table any longer.

Zhang Qiling was holding the mug; he had somehow gone around to the other side of the bed, moving in that flowing now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t way that never seemed quite human, to sit down cross-legged on the bed by Wu Xie so that their shoulders touched. Huo Daofu snatched his hand away from Wu Xie’s back as if an electrical current might flow through the double contact.

“Wu Xie,” Zhang Qiling said, and then something else so quiet it was inaudible, holding the tea so Wu Xie could drink.

Looking at the open tenderness on that remote, beautiful face, utterly focused on Wu Xie, made Huo Daofu feel as if his flesh was trying to part ways with his bones. It was a pain his medical texts didn’t have a word for, deeper and more primitive than jealousy or resentment.

Wu Xie, getting his breath back, looked sideways at him with one of those sudden grins. “Sorry, Xiao Huo. You’re still out of luck when it comes to watching me die. Maybe next time.”

Huo Daofu’s voice would not quite leave his throat. Instead, Xiao Mei said crossly “Tianzhen-shu, that’s dumb.” Most of her attention was still on her phone screen. “Why would Dr. Huo want to watch you die.”

Wu Xie looked at him, still smiling.

“It’s a long story,” said Huo Daofu, “and it doesn’t matter now.”

‡

even through hesitation (10407 words) by naiwong_bao Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Huo Xiuxiu, Hei Xia Zi/Huo Xiuxiu/Xie Yuchen Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Huo Xiuxiu, Yang Hao (DMBJ Series), Hei Xia Zi (DMBJ Series), Xie Yuchen, Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Character Study, Alternate Universe - Fantasy Series: Part 3 of this is where we live Summary:

He’s a boy so Huo Daofu knows from the beginning that there are no expectations for him, he can do as he likes. So he plays, he cries, he does what children do.

Then his parents die.

No one wants him, no one has time for him, so his family sends him to Germany for school. It’ll be a good opportunity, his family says. He can do whatever he wants, be free of the family business, they’ll take care of him over there. He doesn’t want to go, he doesn't know who they are, but he doesn’t get a say.

So he goes to Germany where the language is strange, the food is strange, the people are strange, and he wants to go home so badly that his teeth ache.

Huo Daofu builds a life for himself, but at the first sign of trouble, years and years and years later, he rents out his apartment to an acquaintance, and flies home.

But.

The language is strange, he doesn’t know the slang, the food is strange, the people are strange.

His family is cold and he still doesn’t get a say. --- Huo Daofu between the end of Tomb of the Sea and when he reappears in Reboot. AKA Huo Daofu learns to care a little.

‡

The Mark of a Man (2279 words) by JhanaMay Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Yang Hao (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Yang Hao (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Loneliness, Found Family even when it makes you want to scream, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Huo Daofu is a mediocre role model Series: Part 8 of The Art of Conversation, Part 7 of The Art of Conversation Side Stories Summary:

When Huo Daofu inducted Yang Hao into the Huo family business, he wasn't expecting to become the boy's de facto babysitter.

Notes: a poignant little vignette in which Huo Daofu has a heart.

‡

[META] Huo Daofu's Youtiao Stand (739 words) by Thimblerig Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei, 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Huo Xiuxiu, Huo Daofu & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Meta, Worldbuilding, Huo Daofu's Delicious Fried Snacks Series: Part 2 of DMBJ Meta Summary:

Huo Daofu is a supporting character in Sand Sea. Ambitious, wily, hungry, he’s far from one of the main villains of the story but he’s not nice, either. By the end of Sand Sea Huo Daofu has exploited the chaos caused by the ill-founded expedition to Gutongjing to take over various of the Huo Family operations.

When he appears in Reboot: Sound of Providence, he is a purveyor of delicious fried bread snacks. He’s clearly not hurting for money, so why…?

Notes: this is one of my favorite little HDF explorations, theorizing that Huo Xiuxiu busted him down a rank, and I think that's beautiful.

‡

starting in darkness, like a pure line of light (10167 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Bai Haotian, Bai Haotian & Wu Xie, Liu Sang & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian & Liu Sang Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling Additional Tags: background pingxie, background Iron Triangle, past Wu Xie/Huo Daofu, Post-Canon, hurt/sarcasm, Fade to Black, Dialogue Heavy, meta-adjacent, Self-Indulgent Use of Chinese, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary:

Some emotional loose ends are never going to be tied up, but at least they can be recognized and shared. Or, a selection of the worst best only ways to comfort one another in the aftermath.

Notes: absolutely nothing makes me, a Huo Daofu stan, happier than scherzanda's fics featuring him. You would think this is an odd pairing, but it's really not—the two people who love Wu Xie most and are left behind by him? They have so much in common. Also, this fic has a podfic!

[PODFIC] starting in darkness, like a pure line of light, by scherzanda (701 words) by Thimblerig Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Bai Haotian, Bai Haotian & Wu Xie, Liu Sang & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian & Liu Sang Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Huò Dàofū, Bai Haotian, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling Additional Tags: background pingxie, background Iron Triangle, past Wu Xie/Huo Daofu, Post-Canon, hurt/sarcasm, Fade to Black, Dialogue Heavy, Meta Adjacent, Self-Indulgent Use of Chinese, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Podfic, podficcer not a native chinese-speaker but is doing her best, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours

‡

do the work, love the work (1616 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian, Wu Erbai Additional Tags: Mid-Canon, Missing Scene, Character Study, Post-Canon, Yuletide Treat Summary:

It doesn't always look that way, but Huo Daofu is doing his best.

Notes: once again I just have to excerpt, so you'll GET IT:

The train had nearly reached Hangzhou by the time Wu Xie spoke to him beyond the commonplace. He was still sitting in the corridor, staring dreamily at the growing suburbs, while Zhang Qiling gave Wang Pangzi a hand in the cabin. He looked up as Huo Daofu came back from the hot water dispenser. “Xiao Huo, xinkule. Sorry you never got that chance to watch me die, eh?”

Huo Daofu closed his eyes and looked away from Wu Xie’s smile, unshadowed now with death, brilliant and painful. “I’m sorry too,” he said, eyes still closed, and did not say any of the things he was sorry for.

‡

not only the sugar, but the days (3000 words) by A Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bai Haotian/Huo Daofu Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian Additional Tags: Mentions of Death, Healing, Getting Together, Youtiao as a Metaphor, Also Actual Youtiao Summary:

His gaze meets Bai Haotian's, who's trying so hard to keep it together, and he knows that Wu Xie will break her heart when he dies, and it won't even be his fault. He never fucking means to.

Notes: another recent entry in the HDF/Bai Haotian post-canon and I love it unreasonably. They both love Wu Xie SO MUCH and it's just taking them OUT. Their subsequent connection is natural and it's funny as hell, the author loves them both and it shows:

"Are you really sure?" Bai Haotian says softly, and Huo Daofu looks up.

"What?"

"About the week."

"At best," he says, then winces. Fuck it. "It'll be three days," he says, loud enough to carry through the bedroom door, "if he keeps pulling these stunts!" There's a muffled noise and some very clear profanity from Pangzi, which Huo Daofu ignores. "See if I care!" he adds, but it's just not the same without Wu Xie there to grin at him, unrepentant.

He can feel Bai Haotian's hand covering his own, just loosely, where it's half curled into a fist against his thigh. He turns his head. The look she gives him is so full of unquestioning kindness, of understanding, he almost has to close his eyes against it.

"I'm sure," he says quietly, not really looking at her. "But he's proven me wrong before."

He can see her nod as she takes that in, and then they just sit there in silence, her hand over his, not moving.

‡

In conclusion, just because I can, from some of my favorite posts:

[ohyka]

[jeong-guwon]

[januaryisnotanartist]

Please also do not fail to check out the magnificent Dr Mal Practice post, as well as "it's not his fucking birthday" and "I'll fucking do it but christ alive." These users truly understand the essence of Huo Daofu.

PS also don't sleep on Huo Daofu and Liu Sang having a fabulous bitch-off in Hua Mei, a Sha Hai side story ft. haunted Wushanju. Another side story, Ran Gu, also has a swooning Kan Jian. Quality entertainment!

[jasper-book-stash]

April 2025 Reading Wrap-Up

Tried something new this time, I made this post early in April and updated it with the books I read as I finished them so I still had my thoughts fresh in my mind. I think I like this approach, I'll be continuing it until I forget.

I read a total of fifteen books this month. I was in a big "study Shintoism" mood because I'm doing a lot of writing for my blorbos over on @azzie-beastbinder, but overall a lot of the books I read were in the nonfiction or occult part of my shelf. I really need to get back to reading all of this fiction I have on my bookshelf, I'm running out of TBR room.

Anyway, the moral of this month is "it's bad enough if your book is boring, it's a bigger sin if your editing is shit".

1/10 - Why Did They Publish This?

None applicable.

2/10 - Trash

None applicable.

3/10 - Meh

Elemental Spirits: Building A Magical Practice In An Animistic World | Jaq D Hawkins

I wanted to like this book, I really did. It was so promising. But the problems just kept stacking up over and over. Between the unsafe offering recommendations (putting HUMAN FOOD like CAKES into WATERWAYS), jacking off about Stonehenge, using faeries and spirits interchangeably which just got weird after a while... And the worst sin of all was that it got repetitive. There were things that made me think in this book, but I eventually tapped out because I just couldn't take it anymore.

Easy Reading Series: The Yengishiki Or Shinto Rituals | unknown author

So, this is basically a paper version of a free PDF I could have gotten. The formatting sucks actual ass, there are nearly no paragraph breaks (which is worth its own bitch in and of itself), and the translation is janky as hell. There aren't even 25 pages of information in here, most of it is just...bad. Not worth the money.

Scorpion Chronicles: A Comprehensive Exploration Of Arachnid Predators And The Realm Of Stingers. | M.sc. Ava Arachno

So this is one of those poorly-formatted books that feels like a bunch of blog posts were made into a book. Despite having around 190 pages, there is very little information in here that just gets repeated over and over in large font. It's like if a children's encyclopedia didn't have any pictures. And that's to say nothing of the shitty editing work.

4 to 6/10 - Mid-Tier

Shinto: The Way Of The Gods: Introduction To The Traditional Religion Of Japan | Vincent Miller

First and foremost, I cannot stress enough that they needed a proper fucking editor. Half of my time going through this book was spent fixing editing issues or making notes about where paragraph breaks should have been. The information isn't horrible, it just had quite a bit of weird phrasing and helped define a lot of stuff, it's just...looking at the writing and the editing, I cannot, in good faith, give it anything higher than a 5 out of 10. (Also, the publisher seems to pump out a lot of dieting books that they advertised in the back...not great.)

The Municipalists | Seth Fried

This was not a bad book. It just was not interesting to me. There's a lot of worldbuilding in here, which is great for something sci-fi, but it often cut down on the characters actually having a conversation; they would just summarize the conversations about half of the time, even with the ones that are, you know, crucial for character development and interaction. It also took me 70 pages to finally get into it, only to tap out at page 106 and just read the last two chapters. I'm sure it's plenty interesting, but it wasn't that interesting to me. Also a 5 out of 10.

Pegasus 1977 | National Poetry Press

This is one of those "I picked up some random poetry books from a secondhand store" type of books. For the most part, the poems were...passable? Not bad considering the year...I think? I can't actually find information on this book online anywhere. Also the mythological pegasus never gets mentioned even once. If anyone knows what the fuck is up with this, uh, let me know. Giving it a 4 out of 10 because it dragged on so long.

7 to 8/10 - Good With Caveats

Mimusubi Essays On Shinto 5: Shinto Practice For Non-Japanese | David Chart

So this is actually a published duo of Patreon essays, but none of the other duos of essays have paper versions that I could get easily. There's a lot of good info in here that built on what I got from Vincent Miller's book. The font is so fucking small though, which I imagine is how the author got all that detail into so few pages (the book is marked as having 49 pages on my spreadsheet). 7 out of 10, hard for me to read but I liked what I got out of it.

DISCLAIMER! One of the shrines referenced in this booklet as an American shrine is apparently bad enough that it has an entire blog dedicated to exposing information about it. That can be found here: Exposing Tsubaki Grand Shrine of America.

Amaterasu: Return Of The Sun: A Japanese Myth | Paul D Storrie, Ron Randall [Juvenile]

This is an incredibly short and simple graphic novel/comic book retelling a version of the Amaterasu myth, with enough given context of previous myths to figure out what's important here. Very generic looking artwork, but lovely character designs. The author and artist chose a version of the myth appropriate to its target age demographic. This is an 8 out of 10.

The Gay Agenda: A Modern Queer History & Handbook | Ashley Molesso, Chess Needham

This is overall a fine enough book that I enjoyed and learned from, but there are some problems I had with it.

While there's a strong aesthetic present thanks to the artwork of Ash + Chess (I actually have a tarot deck by them and didn't realize this was by the same people until I recognized the art style because I just…don't read the author names of books at first), it also has the problem of being really hard to read thanks to small font and background and font colors that don't work together well on several pages. It's very United States-centric, which I did not realize going in. Some of the terminology used in here feels like they're trying too hard to be "hip" and there are a few places where things that were objectively bad were referred to as "really lame". Finally, I found the last chunk (the "handbook" section meant to include guides and information) to be…far less useful than a dedicated book to queer identities, and it suddenly has a section pointedly addressing non-queer people even though the assumption across the rest of the text is that the person reading this book is already queer. There's also some parts back in the handbook section that treat asexual and aromantic as the exact same thing, and a focus on drag queens exclusively in the parts about drag throughout the book.

Despite these problems, this is still a pretty good book for a look at queer history in the United States, though I haven't dug into their sources myself just yet. I'd give it an 8 out of 10. I'm glad this book exists, I just think it could have been better if they had another pair of eyes on it.

9/10 - Very Very Good

Starter Villain | John Scalzi

It's so fucking stupid, I love it. You are sitting down across the bar from this guy while he fixes you a drink and tells you about the weirdest shit ever in his life. The dolphins get unionized. The protagonist blows up a satellite with a laser funded by the US Department of Agriculture. The cats type on keyboards. The events of this book are only going on in the course of about a week. Please read this book.

The Book Of Japanese Folklore: An Encyclopedia Of The Spirits, Monsters, And Yokai Of Japanese Myth: The Stories Of The Mischievous Kappa, Trickster Kitsune, Horrendous Oni, And More | Thersa Matsuura, Michelle Wang

This is a book I picked up on a whim from a "local" (read: 1 hour away) bookstore because I've been doing research to better write my blorbos. For the most part, I enjoyed this book, though I do have some mild complaints that not every entry has artwork (particularly those entries that could use the help of a few pages to get them on par with other entries). Other than that, I quite enjoyed it and got through it in the span of two days, which is pretty quick for a nonfiction read for me. It also introduced me to the bean man, which I cherish greatly.

A Popular Dictionary Of Shinto | Brian Bocking

Less of a book that one reads cover-to-cover and more of, well, a dictionary, it is nonetheless quite thorough and useful. I will be picking up my own copy, and I'm thankful that my library system had it so I could check it out before buying it.

10/10 - Unironically Recommend To Everyone

The Serviceberry: Abundance And Reciprocity In The Natural World | Robin Wall Kimmerer

So, if you know anything about me, it's that I loved Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It was one of my favorite books of 2023 and the Young Adult adaptation was one of my favorite books of 2024. So when I saw this in the little bookstore an hour away from my rural home (I shit you not, that's the most local bookstore I have), I scooped it up to give it a read too. And honestly? It was really fucking good. It's given me plenty to think about. If you're at all interested in Indigenous science, gift economies, or getting a new perspective, I recommend picking it up.

Ada Lace, Take Me To Your Leader | Emily Calandrelli, Tamson Weston, Renee Kurilla [Juvenile]

This is actually part of a slightly longer series of kid's books, but my family's had it for a little while (...but had never read it) because we're amateur radio ("ham radio") operators, just like Ada Lace in-story and Emily Calandrelli out-of-story. This is a delightful little book if you or someone else has never heard of ham radio before, or if you know a kid a young age bracket with a love for science. It doesn't get bogged down in the scientific details but it also doesn't hesitate to pause and explain things in-story.

A Quick & Easy Guide To Queer & Trans Identities | Mady G, Jules Zuckerberg [Young Adult]

This is basically a nonfiction graphic novel, and it is incredibly approachable and easy to read, even if the font is a little small. It's an easy introduction to the concept of queerness. I would definitely recommend it as a book to pick up if you're questioning or you know someone who's questioning. It's marked as being YA on Amazon but I could easily see this added to the Juvenile section of a library without issue.

[qvrcll]

half of my heart (nsfw headcanons)

summary: a collection of ellie and her motivations.

warnings: extreme nsfw, slight degradation mentioned, female reader

a/n: hi hi hi :))))))))))) i desperately need this woman, it’s no longer a joke. genuinely was chewing on cardboard when thinking about her today and then i realised i had to get this out in word format. and it ended up with this mess LOL enjoy :-)

⇀ ellie who’s the type to eat it like she means it. who licks against you like how she fights. no second guesses or hesitation, no timid look around’s to check for any stable contexture. she’s nosediving into your soaked cunt, point blank, nodding against the sensitive pearl as her tongue works you open like a clam. she grabs your hips with a heave and a moan, curls an arm around the flesh of your thigh and stretches them to the point of unsightly access to your cunt. even if you’re resisting, embarrassed to be twisted open like this, she’s not taking a pit stop. often times, she’ll get breathless just slathering your cunt in streaks of slaver, the lubricant being a definite must (given the fact it only amps up her speed, her pushes and her eagerness). she’ll even get excited to the point of thrusting in her fingers in the mix, guiding hasty, spoilt touches to your overly sensitive clit in an effort to spill you over the edge, (sometimes, her fingers alternate between glossing your sex and literally being prest into your soppy hole, already leaking prior to her tongue foraging you with no defeat) cramming every nerve with a fistful of sensory overload, enjoying the way you hitch and whine and slobber in her hold — “wanted me to take care of you, no? then stop crying and take it, baby.”

⇀ ellie who finds overstimulating you part of various of her hobbies. it’s a game to her; sick and so deliciously repetitive. it’ll start on a vague note — maybe she’ll finger you to the point of an impending orgasm. or maybe she’ll lick open your folds after a tough day. and then the mood slicks, brightens (on her end), as she doesn’t relent on her ministrations. keeps going, pushes past your plush walls, that cry with a sticky clench. she will plunge her fingers cyclically into your hot, wet sex, loving the overflow of juices that gather in her partly extended palm, but your noises provoke her, test her, tempt her. you’re groaning, gasping, curling against the sheets in an attempt to bar her hand from scratching that spongy spot again. but the way she sees it, it’s lighter fuel. purely crafted motivation. she’ll continue even when your flesh squeezes away from her touch. she’ll lick at you like a bitch in heat even after you’re closing your thighs around her head, wailing at her to stop because you’re so sensitive and you can’t take it anymore. count your words, maybe keep your tone under check, because it only worsens your plea.

⇀ ellie who loves to taunt you with toys. even after you’ve reassured her that she’s the only one to ever make you experience an all time high, pure delirium upon the sheets, she has own way around these toys. maybe she’ll clamp a vibrator against you, opt for the highest setting on that little thing. she’ll sit back, watching as you (bound, unfortunately) struggle helplessly, periodically twitching from the mechanical whirr against your cunt. maybe she’ll do it to a point of exhaustion, alternate between speeds to have you guessing if she’ll grant you an orgasm or not. she’ll experiment further with clamps, plugs and what not, coursing with a slight sense of sadism upon seeing you wracked with sobs and heavy exhalations as you’re denied a properly fleshed out orgasm for the umpteenth time. but she’ll play the nice guy way too late, throwing the vibrator to the furthest corner of the room and kissing away your tears, sure to give you what you want with her fingers — “see? told you they wouldn’t do it like i do, bun.”

⇀ ellie who loves thigh riding. it gets her all hot and messy, envisioning you writhing against her thigh to chase a high. ofttimes, she’ll even rub herself to the idea, prisoner to the thought of such desperation. she’ll have you needy against her, stripped to a t and straddling her hips. she’ll laugh when you lightly grab her collar, imploring for any form of release. her mouth, her fingers, anything — “use me, then.” she’ll flex her thigh, clothed in her regular fit of jeans, enjoying your desperate drift and twitch against the solid muscle, moving back and forth to gain friction from it. she’ll sigh, nipping at your neck and grabbing you in assorted places, whispering how you’re “so, so desperate right now, dirtying my jeans like this.” there will be a wet patch forming on her thighs, and she’ll pretend to be disappointed. but she secretly loves it, loves the way your cunt clenches just a little bit quicker against her thigh when she goads you, knowing that however many times she pricks at you, you’d never really cease using her like this.

⇀ ellie who makes love to you like it’s the last time. despite her eagerness, there will be times where she wants to savour the taste, the feel of you, more than anything. she’ll kiss every stitch of skin till it’s buzzing with warmth, splay her hand against your chest to memorise the feel of it. as she’s slowly, meticulously pumping her fingers in and out of you like she’s known this forever, she’ll nip at your neck, fondle your chest, work your clit in soft, manifold circles, giggling when you whine a little too loud or moan against her skin to try to muffle it (and fail miserably). she’ll work you open, from the inside out, her fingers pruning from your slick-spat heat till dawn, her mouth doused with your juices against the corners of her mouth. she’ll feel you like it’s the last time, press against you like it’s a goodbye, pump out everything out of you like she’ll never witness this again. and it comes like a relief to her when you stare at her, giddy and soft eyed, when you roll on your back after a long night, fingers already finding hers before she could even think of it, holding her like she was made of glass.

© 2023 qvrcll ! do not repost any of my works on any platform.

[sunthyme]

Okay y'all made the mistake of encouraging me so here's my headcanons and some ocs for Heartslabyul!

Sorry for how small it is but format-wise, I'll discuss the dorm leader, then canon characters in descending year order, then ocs in descending year order.

Also, decided to make the school co-ed because 🌸 girls pretty 🌸! And safer for Yuu. Additionally, as a general rule of thumb, if a character is the same gender as the og reference, I tend to make them transgender in some way.

Anyways!

♥️Riddle Rosehearts♥️

(she/her) Transfem - Panromantic and Demisexual

- Firstly, transfem Riddle has my heart so there's that.

- I made her mixed, probably British and Chinese, though I'm open to suggestions cause these are pretty much first drafts.

- From the get-go I wanted her to have hella freckles, idk they're cute.

- Also toned down her og hair, too many damn gingers in this house lol. Gave her grey streaks from her stressful ass childhood.

Next up,

♣️Trey Clover♣️

(he/him) - Bisexual

- I made him black. No particular reason other than his og skin was waaay to pale in contrast to his hair, in my opinion.

- The reason he and Riddle seem so close is 'cause he and Che'nya were the first to know Riddle was trans and he does his best to cover for her.

- Autistic, dental hygiene is a strange special interest but whatever floats his boat.

- Also, he still wears glasses, I was just lazy lol.

Onto

♦️Cater Diamond♦️

(he/they) Transmasc - Pansexual and Demiromantic

- Stayed more or less the same. Gave some lighter blonde streaks for 🌟flavour🌟. You can decide whether those freckles are real or not.

- The first of the Depression Club(tm) characters because I love Cater angst. Wait til you find out my kin list omg.

- If we're talking my college AU, he'd be a cosmology or cosmetology major, whichever the makeup one is idk. He was taught by an older sister (who works at a tattoo shop/piercing parlour) how to do piercings and is the primary piercer on campus. He did Trey's probably Riddles, Adeuce's lip piercings and more characters that'll show up later.

- The one natural ginger left in Heartslabyul (I hunted them to near extinction lmao). Also, transmasc. I think his mom really wanted all girls and was not thrilled about him being trans. Anyways!~

Ah, now for

♥️Ace Trappola♥️

(he/him) - Bisexual

- Made him half Hispanic, half Asian. No particular specifics (again, open to suggestions pls I love hearing others' headcanons). Also got some freckles, I fucking love birthmarks lmao.

- As mentioned, I'm on a crusade against the gingers /jk but I did give him dyed hair. He and Deuce dye their hair together, idk cute date idea tbh.

- Adeuce also got lip piercings together, even though Deuce tried to warn Ace that lip piercing aren't the best first ones, Ace insisted. Cue Deuce having to help take care of Ace's piercing cause he's a dumbass. Can you tell I love them? And their one collective braincell.

- Crippling ADHD, this bitch cannot sit still to focus on anything.

Speaking of Deuce,

♠️Deuce Spade♠️

(he/him) Transmasc - Gay

- He's half-Filipino, half Vietnamese(? Not quite sure yet) and I gave him dyed hair too, obvi.

- Gave him his momma's blonde streaks and some scars from his delinquent day, plus some piercings.

- Couple moles for funsies, and made his eyes brown.

- He is soooo AuDHD, people can fight me on that. On god, he's my son. Also transmasc, his mom is an amazing ally (she's probably bi herself nvm).

Onto my ocs!

🔮Oki Chiang🔮

Third Year - (she/her) - Asexual Aromantic

- So this is my girlie twisted from the Blue Caterpillar. She's not a smoker or anything but I think she's be a total incense and perfume and whatnot girl.

- Spiritualistic and whenever you walk into her room, it smells amazing. If you want a tarot reading, she's your girl.

- Oki's very reserved and tends to keep to herself, often reading or quietly sipping some tea with Riddle as they work.

- She's Taiwanese and also autistic. Her whole wardrobe is blue, so are most of her things and she love nice smells.

Next up is

🎀Luna Madden🎀

Second Year - (she/they/it/whatever, she doesn't care too much) - Bisexual Aromantic

- You'll never guess who she's based on /j. My Mad Hatter character! I didn't have a particular ethnicity in mind for her but she takes heavy inspiration from Harujuku fashion.

- She and Cater have to work together to dye her hair every time it needs touch ups. It's a huge pain in the ass but she likes how it looks and Cater is fine helping.

- Has acne and uses those cute lil star and heart cut-out patches to cover it.

- She LOVES bright colours and has way too much fun prepping for the tea parties. Owns a ton of weird and neat lil earrings that she likes to mix and match.

- Also has ADHD. I feel like that's obvious lol.

Now for

⏳Bunnie Chrona⏳

First Year - (she/her) - Asexual Lesbian

- Twisted from the White Rabbit, and a super creative name I know... I don't have a ton of explanation here other than I thought it would look neat.

- I was super close to giving her all white hair but I didn't want another character with dark skin and light hair (which will be relevant in later designs too) so I gave her a gradient. All natural, by the way.

- She's autistic too and gets extremely anxious whenever she's late or someone else is late (Adeuce constantly give her heart attacks because of this).

- She's also a part of the track and field club!

Last, but certainly not least

💥Ness Benoit💥

First Year - (she/they) Transfem - Bicurious?

- Last girl and she's based on Lock from The Nightmare Before Christmas movie. Spoiler, she is one of three triples, I assigned them to different houses, and they have an older sister based on the Boogeyman.

- I thought it'd be cute to give her little devil horns as a hairstyle and I made her makeup the same as the og characters'.

- It's been a hot second since I've seen this movie so I can't remember much about the kiddos' characterisations but my dad said Lock was the brains of the of operation so she gets book smarts.

- Also, her name is a silly little joke on 'loch-ness' because I was too lazy to try and find something else.

Thank you so much if you read until the end, this was a massive post to make. I'll make my Savanaclaw one tomorrow, hopefully. If I remember lol.

Love you! 🩷🩷🩷

[cooking-pol-martin]

Mythbusting Pol Martin

When you have little kids, you have a delicate balance to walk with media. While I'm not terribly censorious -- I don't think any given kid is going to be traumatized by hearing the f-bomb, plus largely it was me dropping them -- but there's plenty of media that can be upsetting with no cusses at all. I don't think the kids ever saw the sketch on Robot Chicken called "Tooth & Consequences", but I do remember vividly thinking, whelp, make extra sure they never watch THAT shit. While I think The Family Guy sucks, it was more that the one kid would repeat the most annoying punchlines for days that got that show banned from the house.

But then the grownups in the house also had to contend with children's media, which runs the gamut from awesome to the fuck outta here. I loved Yo Gabba Gabba!; tolerated Dora the Explorer; and absolutely banned both Calliou and Barney. All this is winding up to say there were two shows (for lack of a better word) that everyone in the family could absolutely agree on: Homestar Runner and Mythbusters. If you've never watched Mythbusters, the format is thus: they find a myth and then try to recreate the conditions. If they can't -- if it's busted -- then they try to make the myth happen by any means necessary.

Which brings me, inevitably, to Pol Martin.

I made two Pol Martin recipes this week: "Braised Rib-Eye Steaks" and "Pepper Rice." (They were for different meals, because I've learned my lesson about ruining dinner.) When I started the Pol Martin project lo, these many months ago, I declared I was going to follow the recipe as closely as I was able. This resulted in me doing things like boiling leeks for half a godamn fiscal hour which I will never do again, thank you very much. I was in my recreating conditions phase, to put it in terms of Mythbusters. This resulted in a lot of busting.

Since then, I've decided to cut myself some slack sometimes. (Not always, because I followed the ridic instructions for "Fish & Vegetable Salad" to the letter, to Wet Ass Pol results.) But for the two recipes that are the subject of this essay, I decided to hew to the ingredients list and proportions as closely as I could -- with some minor deviations -- but I more or less chucked his cooking instructions. I'm a better than decent cook with decades of experience in the kitchen, and I'm just going to say it: sometimes his recipes are wrong. So I'm just trying to make them work, like the Mythbusters do once the myth gets busted.

The first recipe I tried was "Braised Rib-Eye Steaks." I'm of the opinion that it's difficult to fuck up a good cut of meat. To be fair, I've seen Pol give it the college try, like when, in one of the digitized video tapes, he goes to the market for a salmon steak and then microwaves that bitch to death. I suppose the amendment to my declaration being: it's difficult to fuck up a good cut of meat, except if there's a microwave involved. Like I've never made scallops because I'm terrified of screwing up something that's roughly $30 a pound. But I got some nice rib-eyes from Costco, and was ready to get to it.

The major change to this recipe was that I made it in the Instapot. Braising requires time, time which I didn't have. The Instapot, with its pressure cook setting, can cut two hours of braising down to 20 minutes. (My mom, who was a working single mother, used a pressure cooker all the time to get dinner on the table, so this feels really regular to me.) I also rearranged the order the ingredients went into the cooker. Pol almost always puts the spices in too early, which makes the volatile aromatics in, say, garlic cook off. I also cut the ... everything smaller than Pol directs. One thing that drives me crazy in his videos is how enormous his dice is. No.

[image description: a photo from one of Pol's cookbooks. Very wet looking sliced beef with vegetables that are diced too big on a pink and green plate. The caption reads "Braised Rib-Eye Steaks (serves 4).]

"Braised Rib-Eye Steaks" turned out good, not amazing, but good. Per usual, the recipe was way too wet. He had me pour a cup of clamato juice and two cups of beef stock over two pounds of meat, which is a ridiculous amount of liquid. But Wet Ass Pol's gonna wet. I was intrigued by the inclusion of clamato juice -- and even added some anchovy paste to punch up the umami -- but honestly I don't know that it added much more than vibes. I liked the turnips which soaked up all the flavor of the broth but still had a little crunch. Usually I think turnips are boring. I had the whole thing over mashed potatoes, which was the right call.

Honestly, my biggest criticism is that braising a rib-eye is kind of a waste of a rib-eye. Like it'll be good, but braising is usually reserved for tougher, more fibrous cuts of meat. Braising is when you sear something to get a nice crust, and then basically poach it in some kind of liquid -- broth is common, but you can do use anything from wine to coconut milk, or a combo -- in an enclosed dish. The low and slow cooking breaks that structure down and makes the meat tender, but the meat isn't submerged so it doesn't go to mush. The rib-eye basically tasted like stew meat, which is obviously delicious, but stew meat is also like half the price of a rib-eye. I liked this enough to do again, but I'd chill on the braising liquid and use a shittier cut of meat.

Oh also? I added a bunch of flour as thickener trying to get the braising liquid to approach something like gravy-like consistency, but there's no overcoming this amount of wetness.

[image description: sliced beef and diced turnips & tomatoes served over mashed potatoes in a dark blue bowl. There's an awful lot of liquid.]

The next recipe I tried was "Pepper Rice." You might think pepper refers to black pepper, but he means bell peppers, just to get that out of the way. I needed a side for this chicken shish kabob recipe I've been wanting to try since my newest collection of sick fucking antique skewers showed up. (Pol has a lot of kebab recipes, and his skewers are all immaculate. The fact that I can't find the sword-shaped ones that aren't a grillion dollars still makes me mad.) I'd run across the "Pepper Rice" recipe and filed it away for a rainy day: it's simple, has normal ingredients, and cooks fast.

[image description: grilled chicken on sick fucking antique skewers with birds and stuff for handles sits on a silver tray.]

I'm going to admit that like the braised rib-eyes, I utterly disregarded his instructions. I've run into this with Pol's recipes before -- notably the "Fish & Vegetable Salad" -- but he often pre-cooks ingredients. I simply don't get this. "Pepper Rice" isn't so different from my go-to Spanish rice recipe, which involves softening the vegetables and then pouring in both the dry rice and chicken broth so that everything cooks together. Instead, Pol wants us to fry up the veggies and then mix in already cooked rice? Why? This is a terrible idea.

[image description: pepper rice and grilled chicken in a dark blue bowl on a bright red tablecloth.]

Hilariously, I didn't get the ratio between the rice and cooking liquid quite right, so I kind of ended up with a Wet Ass Pol situation inadvertently. I just boiled it off. I though the pepper rice was kinda bland, but then my husband waxed all philosophical about letting the subtlety of the pepper's mild sweetness become the focus, without distracting with stronger flavors. Maybe he was humoring me slash Pol, but it's also an interesting way to start thinking about the meta-philosophy of preparing food.

I'm a Midwesterner, so I'm not ever going to go too crazy with spices, but I almost automatically double the garlic in any recipe, add fish sauce, anchovy paste, or capers at every opportunity, and otherwise garnish with soy sauce, sriracha, or whatever condiment seems appropriate, and some that don't. On some basic level, I must value a certain kind of complexity of flavor ... or that's not the right way to put it. Fresh ingredients cooked right without much seasoning can be complex, but they're subtle. It's more like I want the flavors to be more forward.

The best articulation of this is in the cookbook Salt Fat Acid Heat which, like it says in the title, argues that the best dishes balance those four attributes, but then also really digs into the various ingredients that contribute to that balance. The recipes in that book aren't amazing, ironically, but articulating a philosophy of cooking and writing a decent recipe are two different skill sets. I think the author is onto something there, at least in the ways flavors interact. Pol's recipe has all the attributes in pretty decent balance: salt from the broth, fat from the oil, acid from the tomatoes, and heat in the browning. But I want something that explores other registers: sweet, hot, green, bright, any of a dozen flavors I can't describe but nonetheless enjoy. I want those four attributes to be a base I can build on.

So. I've made a couple dozen Pol Martin recipes so far. There have been high highs and low lows, and everything in between. I've followed recipes exactly and not so much. I've attempted everything from appetizers to main dishes to desserts. I've used a microwave. But I feel like this is the first time I've really understood that he and I have sometimes fundamental differences in what we value in cooking. So if I take an ingredient list from Pol, which is balanced in one way, and cook it the way most makes sense to me, which is balanced in another, I can really get the most out of his recipes. I think I've really begun to vibe on our differences, Pol and me.

Woof, did that gummy kick in or what? Yeah.

[axyo]

(Idk which blog you prefer for asks hehe)

GIMME HEADCANONS tell us about how Shizuo dyes his hair, or Izaya's morning routine is, *cough* trans Izaya hcs? 👀

ok i took forever to answer this because i wasn't sure how i wanted to format my thoughts on this in a way that doesn't feel repetitive (to me, personally) but HERE GOES

Since this will be long I'm gonna pop it all under a cut,

so TLDR; Shizuo takes really good care of his hair; Izaya's morning routine is overly complicated or there is None At All; Izaya is an Any Pronouns type Bitch

I see a lot of people claim Shizuo's hair would be incredibly damaged or dry from his bleaching, but I argue that someone who has been bleaching their hair for over a decade and includes THEIR FUCKING EYEBROWS is not doing this in a half-ass way.

Also, we see Kasuka gift Shizuo the bartender uniforms, therefore I think it's safe to assume that even if the first couple of bleachings were damaging that Kasuka went ahead and helped Shizuo find a gentler bleach, as well as specific hair care products that are meant to mitigate the regular damage bleach can cause.

Source: i've been bleaching my hair for over a DECADE and i've only fried my hair TWICE both of which had nothing to do with the level of chemical and moreso that i fell asleep with the bleach in my hair.

Source: I have multiple friends of asian descent with different hair types who also have been very diligent about not frying their hair.

Source: We never see Shizuo's roots therefore we know he's keeping up with the ROOTS which thus causes less damage over all. Less Chemical means Less Damage which means He keeps UP with it to make it less of a hassle.

---

Izaya's morning routine heavily depends on whether or not he's going out that day, meeting with clients or staying inside.

If he's going to be interacting with anyone face to face then his routine is to wake up, start the coffee and immediately roll into his 11-step skincare routine. He PAUSES this for a face mask and goes to make his coffee while running a bath. Then its a nice hour ish of relaxing in the bath, sipping coffee and scrolling through forums.

THEN when that's finished he finishes up his skin care, gets dressed and gets into his day.

If he's NOT meeting anyone then he just runs himself a bath and reads while having some tea.

---

Those who know me know I'm always writing or drawing FtM Izaya, and I stand by that. But he's also an any pronouns type bitch.

I don't really see him having any surgeries, like he COULD easily but he gives the vibe that he doesn't really trust doctors, except Shinra, but he also doesn't trust Shinra to give him top surgery in a sense. It's a bit complicated. But mainly he doesn't worry about any of that. It's irrelevant to him, specifically.

Also, that being said, I like to imagine part of his obsession with pissing off Shizuo is also sort of gender euphoric in a way.

It's fun to not be treated delicately! And so openly and forward too!!!

By extension, I think Shinra is also FtM and Shizuo is NB but has a full time job so he can't worry about that rn (full time job is trying to kill Izaya)

[as-i-watch]

Episode 5 veredict:

5/5 Straw Hats 👒👒👒👒👒

Nothing is 100% perfect, but using decimals is for cowards bitches

The good:

Baratie is the best set so far hands down

God i love Taz's Sanji. He had three lines of dialogue but his was the first straw hat that inmediately felt like the charecter

Also Zeff, i have nothing negative to say, perfect Zeff, perfect with Sanji. Perfect duo.

Garp. I fucking love this Garp so much. Him and Luffy just screaming at eachother and throwing canon balls at eachother from their ships was so funny. I want to see where they go with it but introducing Garp this early was a really big move for the LA and i think so far it payed off.

MIHAWK. Not even necessary to point out how perfect the costume is but Steven Ward got the tone of the charecter perfectly fucking right!!

Sure they deleted Don Krieg but i actually didnt mind it in the end? There was no actual 'bad guy' but i liked it. I thought all episodes now would follow the syrup village format of stablishing the villain in the first ep, ending with a cliffhanger and the next ep had the full third act kinda battle. But the plot needed to slow down, they needed to give more time for the crew to bond and Baratie first half is the perfect moment to do that, and also an opportunity for the rest of the crew to get to know eachother without Luffy as a conduit (he was busy being a busboy). So yeah, i dont mind they didnt even introduced Krieg this ep as the villain of the arc, bc we got Zoro and Nami playing drinking games, Luffy and Sanji talking about dreams in a quiet moment at the kitched, and drunk Usopp busting some moves.

Oh god Mihawk's and Zoro's fight. It was almost exactly like in the anime, and i usualy hate frame by frame replications in adaptations of this kind, but that fight was iconic and perfect, they knew they didnt have to mess with that. But not only that, it was perfectly executed. It managed to capture the same emotion as the anime (something that other key moments so far fail to get it right spcially in backstories and flashbacks)

Again, kudos to Mackenyu for all the sword fight, holy shit they are becoming my fav things in the show

Ehh could'e been better:

There were only two moments in this ep that made me go :/

Luffy's argument to get Zeff to accept the IOU. Luffy never cared about status and what being King of the Pirates would mean, he dont care about having hand or the benefits the title would bring him. Pulling that card felt very strange, the most natural thing for Luffy was to just stare at Zeff dead in the eye and just say he's broke af

Nami not leaving. Stealing the ship and leaving them at Baratie was huge deal and what prompted they way into Arlong Park. But more of a plot point it was huge for Nami's charecter, bc she was still trying to convice herself that she hadnt become friends with those idiots, bc she still hated all pirates, bc she still tried to present a cold 'i dont need no one' kinda facade. But LA Nami had already admited not only that she was friends with the boys but also that she was part of the crew. Thats ok but now the issue is that her stealing Merry makes little sense, and even leaving at all makes little sense. Dont get me wrong, i love this Nami and i like the direction they gave the charecter, but i think maybe they neglected a bit her own personal growth and inner conficts, which is what sets te base for everything that happens to her at Arlong Park later on

[callsign-sucker]

What are your thoughts on the Tortuga?

//Sucker\\

The Tortuga is, again, like most IPS-N mechs, simple and to the point.

And that point is filling the volume of space you are occupying with Grapeshot while making sure you can't avoid facing it.

The hyperdense armor makes killing it a bitch and a half, and the DSAS earned that nickname.

The damn thing comes with a SEIGE RAM! And the cat-hammer!

[IPS-NhandshakeFlashbacks.mp3]

And I have seen a daisy cutter go off, and yikes.

Thankfully for my stomach there wasn't any infantry in that formation.

And if they turn on hyper-reflex mode?

It's nuts.

Oh, and unlike most IPS-N mechs, IT CAN HACK YOU!

My recommendation? Don't fuck with IPS-N.

//For Cogito Ergo Sum\\

[lacefuneral]

hi!!! i love for custom blog theme,, do you have a link to the code or creator 0:?

ya!

so my theme is actually a heavily modified version of redux edit #1 by lopezhummel (current url: holyaura). i always remind users that most tumblr themes are old and that you'll need to replace all instances of "http://" in the code with "https://" so tumblr will save the theme. i had to do it with this one

these are the modifications i made to the theme. i edited this theme over the course of at least a year or so and don't quite recall how i did all of these things. but to the best of my ability:

i moved the "left side img" to the right side of the screen. i also made this element "responsive" so the image will never get cropped when you resize your screen. this was a bitch and a half to figure out and i truthfully do not remember how i did it

i deleted the text in the drop-down navigation so it appears as a little line that is otherwise not noticeable. this type of theme, the "redux edit," used to be very popular because having a drop-down menu let you cram a bunch of links that lead to sub-pages on your blog. i've done away with my sub-pages, but i still like the format of the "redux style" tumblr theme, for its minimal UI and for its customization options.

i separated my mobile description from my web description for formatting reasons. basically, most elements in tumblr themes are connected to specific text fields and toggles. i simply went to the section that was connected to my blog description and deleted it. the web description has to be manually typed inside of the CSS/HTML editor when i want to change it. whereas my mobile description is whatever i type in the "description" box of the normal tumblr theme editors.

i added code someone else made ("NoPo" by drannex42 on GitHub) which allows you to hide posts with certain tags on them. i did this to hide my pinned post, as it looks bad on desktop.

i replaced the tiny pagination arrows at the bottom with images that literally say "next" and "back" because the arrows were far too small/illegible. i know they aren't centered in the container i'm not sure how to fix that lol

i added a cursor

i installed a working music box ("music player #3" by glenthemes), and then added music by uploading MP3 files to discord and then using the links of those files as the audio sources. iirc i also had to make this element responsive and i aligned it so it would sit on the left side of my screen. i made the "album art" for each one the same strawberry pixel art

the moth is just a PNG i added and then moved around so it was behind my sidebar using the options that came pre-packaged with the theme

if you want something like the strawberry shortcake decoration at the top (called "banner" in the theme) your best bet is to google "pixel divider"

theme didn't support favicon so i added that in so i could have a little heart

ALSO:

this theme is. really weird about backgrounds. any background that i have ever set for it, i've had to do weird shit in photoshop. like making the background HUGE, mirroring it, etc. - because it would crop the image weird, or there would be a gap where there was no image. idk man, it's haunted. i'm sure there's a way to fix this but i am NOT tech savvy enough. anyway, patterns are probably your best friend. and if you DO want something that isn't a pattern, it's going to take a lot of trial and error. but i love this theme so i deal with it 😭

the sidebar image and the floating image do not scale. if your image is 1000 pixels, it will display at 1000 pixels. you'll either have to edit the code so that the theme scales the image for you, or resize any images before you add them

my white whale of theme editing (aside from the Weird Background thing) is that i cannot get infinite scrolling to work. i have tried every code out there. all of them break my theme. it makes me sad because like. i have music there for a reason. the idea is that people would listen to it while they scroll. unfortunately, the way it's set up now, the music will stop every time someone clicks "next" or "back" 💀

anyway sorry for rambling but i hope you enjoy the the theme and customizing it in the way that you want to!

[electronickingdomfox]

"The Klingon Gambit" review

Novel from 1981, by Robert E. Vardeman. I don't have much to say about this one, neither praise nor a rant. Perhaps there's no worse fate than indifference? This novel is a return to the more episodic format of the old Bantam novels. Basically a rehash of "The Naked Time", with a bit of "This Side of Paradise" (as far as Spock is concerned), and Klingons in the middle. I don't think the plot has enough substance for a novel-length story, so a lot of times I had the impression of reading the same thing over and over, as if the author had to fill pages but didn't really have anything new to say.

Anyway, the writing's fine, and lets Kirk shine as a clever diplomat, always with an ace up his sleeve to avoid a confrontation. While the rest of the crew is infected by some virus of silly, Kirk seems to be the only one that keeps his cool (some scientist should study this man one day; he seems to be immune and special in every single way...). It's hard to judge the rest of the characters, since they're purposefully acting weird through most of the novel. Spock swinging between totally emotional and totally Vulcan was well-done, without being over the top. Though McCoy seems to me a bit too disrespectful and insulting (and I'm not entirely sure this is due to the strange influence affecting the ship). I'm also not sure about his reluctance to save an injured Klingon's life, on the basis of him being the enemy. The way I see it, McCoy is first a doctor, then a Starfleet officer. There's also a return of that weird idea from earlier novels, that Vulcans are completely unable to feel any love or sexual urge outside pon farr. I don't know why this notion was so widespread, when a full Vulcan like Sarek was seen in the series having a loving relationship with his human wife, while Stonn and T'Pring had an affair outside marriage.

As for the plot, it's very simple, so I'm just going to gloss over it without spoilers. The Enterprise finds a Vulcan science ship adrift, and everyone's dead aboard, without any discernible reason. The ship was part of an archaeological expedition on the nearby planet of Alnath II, led by a famous Andorian scientist. As there's also a Klingon ship orbiting the planet, the Klingon become the main suspects for the Vulcans' deaths. However, the lead scientist insists that the Klingons have only been a nuisance, as far as their activities disrupt his investigations of the ruins. Kirk doesn't have any proof that the Klingons are guilty (and they also have some rights over this planet in particular, since it doesn't belong to the Federation). So he enters into a tense situation with the Klingon captain, where none dare to attack the other, and break the Organian peace treaty. Things get worse when the crew of the Enterprise start acting irresponsibly, and almost mutinous. Everyone seems to just do whatever they want, disregarding their duties. Scotty becomes obsessed with improving the engines, and starts dismantling half the ship for spare parts. Chekov becomes too trigger-happy and anxious for battle. Uhura daydreams about M'Benga. Spock swings between his human and Vulcan sides, and is at times overrun by feelings of love for his female assistant. McCoy becomes paranoid about machines and technology, so he switches to primitive medical treatments... You get the idea. The answers, of course, lay in the planet below and its mysterious pyramid. Kirk has a showdown with the Klingons as well. The resolution is nothing special really, though there's a little surprise about the origin of the alien, deserted city.

Spirk Meter: 2/10*. Kirk seems more aware about Spock's mood swings than anyone else. And he's a bit distressed about Spock possibly reciprocating his assistant's feelings. There's also a scene where Spock loses his shit on the bridge and starts crying, so Kirk bitch-slaps him, to make him come to his senses, even at the risk of suffering the Vulcan's violence himself. And Spock catches his wrist and all that (it's very similar to the scene in "This Side of Paradise").

For his part, McCoy wants to go live in a farm with Jim. And he's awfully interested in Spock staying more human, and you know, loving and horny all the time. As you will, Doctor...

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[vodika-vibes]

Oooooooooh Delta Squad & their Jedi General (wife) being sent to investigate Mustafar (of course the Jedi send their competent Jedi to do this)

Their most competent Jedi and the most Competent Squad (who would go anyway because they go where their jedi goes) but this way the council can pretend that they did it intentionally.

"I think I'm melting," Rynn says, half a minute after she steps off the ship onto the landing platform. "This is why armor is important General," Fixer says, "I feel perfectly comfortable." Rynn shoots him a look, "Yes, well. They don't make armor in my size, Fixer. So now you have to deal with me bitching over the fact that I'm not lava proof." "We can bitch together, General." Scorch says loyally, "Because this planet also smells really bad." "Thank you Scorch." "Can we focus, please." Boss orders, shooting the General a quelling look. "What information are we looking for?" "Honestly, we're looking for anything that we can find." Rynn replies, "Anything and everything. This is essentially a fishing trip." She admits with a shrug. "Sounds like fun." Sev drawls, "Formation?" "General, you're in the middle. Do you sense anything immediately dangerous?" Boss asks. "The planet is shrouded in the darkside." Rynn replies with a tilt of her head, "I'm not sure how much use I'm going to be here, honestly." "That's alright. We'll just keep our eyes open." Boss says easily.

[tweakazoid]

i was doing my final project while watching tvd in the background for hours with no issue and my mother walks in blabbering about do I know what happens when I don't pass a class and when ppl don't pass their classes mind you im THREE FUCKING SLIDES from being done with my final presentation and im putting effort into this shit, making sure everythings pretty and readable and the formatting is right, i even have an irl checklist of what I need to put on it and then she just assumes that because I have the TV going that im incapable into putting effort and passing my class and I got upset and was hitting myself and smacked the Chromebook a little and now half the screens black and im sobbing why can't this bitch just leave me alone