#it looked like it would challenge me gimme a break

[lightyearssurrogatedaddy]

text me on discord my user's theyeast. please I want to send a cartain someone a threatening image of a gas pump

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Adult!Danny x Sleep-deprived!Constantine: We seem to have a misunderstanding.

Warlock was willing to admit that the Phantom’s company was mostly useful and not unpleasant. Because of the specifics of his work they had to meet quite often. It was nice to be at least a little sure that you wouldn’t get stabbed in the back. The new ghost king seemed to be amused by the World of the Living and that was quite useful. In addition, the Infinite Realms had a history of endless conflicts with Hell, so when demons was messing with him, Phantom was happy to put sticks in their wheels.

However, the current enemy of the League was another alien. Both John and Phantom happened to be nearby. But it seems ghost had no reason to help Hellblazer now, as this fight had nothing to do with his kingdom. Given that Batman had explicitly instructed John to stay on the battlefield, it seemed that if John Constantine wanted to count on a weekend, he would have to use his trump card now.

Constantine: In view of the urgency of the situation, I would like to make a proposal. Life offers many challenges. I know I can meet them if you're willing to face them with me. In the spirit of saving time..[holding up a ring] This is for you. You in?

Phantom: I..I don’t know, John. I mean i want to say yes but It’s all so sudden. Please gimme some time to think, okay? And let me help to deal with these invaders first and then we’ll talk about it.

John: ..Sure?

~~~~~

Tucker: Whoa crazy battle dude. John: Civilians are not allowed here. Danny: It's all right. We were going to meet at a cafe, but now, well, there is no cafe. I mean, he's with me and not so civilian, okay?Ehem..John, meet my best friend Tucker. Tucker, meet my..Em, this is John, and he's kinda my John. It's new for us.

Damn. He was in a hurry and offered more than he should have. It turns out the ghost had an interest in protecting the city. It is unlikely that he would allow the destruction of the place where one of his humans lives.

And worst of all, Phantom did not accept the ring (for which John had to hunt for several months) as payment. Constantine got it specially in case he needed a favor or a way to calm the anger of the spirit he was starting to get along with. Like, really, John spent a fair amount to own the artifact which would have neutralized the consequences of wearing a ring of rage. But Ghost didn’t want it? Why? And yet he helped. So John was in debt.

And how it's all at a bad time. The peace treaty and the treaty of cooperation between the States and the Infinite Realms was concluded only recently. Of course John didn't even have time to discuss the terms of their deal because the blushing ghost flew away to fight but to say that he won't pay for the service is like admitting that you want to start a new conflict. Constantine was starting to have a headache. He'll think about it when he gets at least a couple of hours of sleep. Whatever payment the ghost needs, it can wait a couple of hours.

~~~~~

But as it turned out, the ghost couldn’t make up his mind and decide what he wanted from him. He started showing up at John’s place and looking at him thoughtfully, also recently dragged him to pick out a suit. How he could be mistaken for a stylist John did not understand but preferred not to unnerve a potential ally.

Moreover, for some reason the chaotic creature decided that he had the right to condemn John for always forgetting to have dinner or take a bath. This scoundrel dared to lock him in a bathroom with strange scented candles and colored water. Whatever these bath bombs were, dumb spirit failed to poison him but now John smelled like peaches. Disgusting.

After breaking down the door he found the same mess with candles on the kitchen table. Phantom fought a fierce battle with the green goo in the pot that he brought to John's house, but eventually gave up and they ordered delivery. All in all, it was a pleasant evening. Of course John didn't admit it but for some reason Danny decided that he could make such a mess every Friday.

~~~~~

Danny: So..me and Morningstar are friends now. Do you mind? I know you don’t get along very well. John: Why should I care? Your friends are your business. Considering you’re crazy about the stars I’m surprised you’re not sleeping with their maker.

Danny: Hell no, Lightbringer is great. And I’m glad he’s sharing with me what I wouldn’t find in books but I would never cheat on my partner. John: Good to know. (Wow, who knew the Phantom has a lover.)

~~~~~

Morningstar: I have no idea what you see in this arrogant man, stardust.

Phantom: I don’t know. It’s interesting to be around him. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. And his determination and sarcastic nature are really charming.

Morningstar: Well, I’ll get rid of some of his contracts for your wedding but only because I like you and not because I’m willing to deal with this liar.

Phantom: Thanks, Luci,  you’re the best.

Morningstar:That’s true. But it's not free. I need you as a babysitter to keep Spawn busy while, well, Detective and I are busy.

Phantom: No problem :)

[kissitbttr]

I need more sweet moments with frat!miguel you owe us for hurting us with the argument one🔫

HSHDHDJDHDH I’M SORRYYYY MY LOVEEE PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEE

BUT OKAY!!

—

miguel rarely comes to your cheerleading practice. not because he doesn’t want to but simply because his training and yours are always on the same day,

he does get to see you from afar though, thank god both of your teams share the same field. only a few yards away.

every time he goes on a water break, he uses the advantage to keep an eye on you for any injuries that might happen.

though he would definitely admit that is not the only reason why. miguel always find himself huffing and puffing at the male coach who keeps grabbing you by the waist and stuff. his assistant is no better.

‘they’re my coaches, miggy! how am i supposed to understand what to do if he didn’t show me?! plus it’s not like they’re flirting with me. cheerleading includes body contact’

yeah okay, that makes sense or whatever. but he still doesn’t like it.

he loves watching you train though. the flexibility you have within your body makes him go crazy. he always tries his best to catch you doing splits, bridges, toe touches etc, anything that includes you showing it off,

especially in those tight shorts you’re wearing right now that accentuates the shape of your ass,

“o’hara! done ogling your girl?!”

he peers over his shoulder to see his coach expressing annoyance. arms crossed, brows dip into a frown. behind him, glen and two other guys are stifling their laughs,

but miguel doesn’t feel embarrassed of getting caught. instead, he smirks cockily and shrug. “can’t blame me for having a pretty girlfriend, coach”

“yeah yeah—get your head back in the game” coach instructs with stern voice. “or i’ll put you on the bench” he threatens,

miguel scoffs with a smirk still on his face. hands on hips while chewing his gum. “no you won’t” he challenges, earning himself a warning glare from the old man. “who’s gonna lead the team if it ain’t me?”

“you forgot the vice captain?” beck points at himself with a grin,

miguel just shrugs. “compared to me? we know the answer to that, kingsley. the team then erupts in strings of ‘ooh’

“oh cocky now huh?” beck throws him a ball expecting him to get hit, but miguel’s reflexes are always on point. catching it with one hand, so effortlessly

“what’s that about putting me on the bench, coach?” he teases with a laugh, watching him sigh in annoyance,

before he could muster a response, miguel’s ears perk up at the sound of his favorite voice. a bright smile breaks out as he turns around, seeing that it’s you.

“miggy!!”

the team groans when miguel abandons the ball and completely shift his attention on his girlfriend. running towards him in your team’s sports bra and bright pink nike pros,

miguel extends his arms open, without second thoughts you jump at his embrace with a giggle. his hands holding you tightly by the bare thighs. legs locking around his hips as both of your sweat clinging onto each other,

“this is a nice surprise, baby—but i smell really bad right now” he chuckles, though makes no effort in putting you down,

“i like you better dirty” you shrug, looking into his eyes making him groan,

“naughty girl” he pecks your lips. “you done with practice?”

“mhmm” you hum. “gimme a second okay?” you wave at the coach and team. “so i know you and your brothers are having the weekly party tonight, buuut—i have a proposition”

he cocks an eyebrow, “that doesn’t sound good”

you roll your eyes at his teasing manner. “how would you feel about—skinny dipping with me tonight?” a whisper comes past your lips, and you almost laugh at how fast his eyes suddenly brighten more,

“wait—for real?!”

with a nod, you continue. “the community pool that i’m working at will be closed early for today and guess who’s got the keys? me!” you cheer, “what do you say?”

“baby—do you really need to ask?!” miguel feels his pants growing tight at the thought of him and his girlfriend swimming naked later tonight. “fuck yes! i’ve been wanting to do that for a looong time”

“okay good! because i’ve been feeling rather bored with bikinis lately. i think its time for my boobies to be out in the open you know? free the nips”

“you’re killing me here, can’t say that shit now. still got an hour and half to go” he gestures towards the boys who are still playing ball, waiting for the team captain to join. “okay, no parties for me—just you and i tonight”

he puts you back down on your feet, grabbing your face and presses his lips against yours making both of you smile. “get outta here” he smacks your ass in a playful manner making you shoot him a warning glance, in which he only puts his hands up,

“see you back home, miggy!” you call out while running back to join the other girls

“fuck i love hearing that” he mutters, watching you run and let his eyes wander down to the shape of your ass. “and i love you” he points at the shorts you’re wearing,

beck could only shake his head at the sight of miguel still watching you go along with a few of other guys,

“can’t believe i’m saying this but—i prefer him not having a girl”

“nah man, you can’t say that” beck fist bumps a shoulder of another kid. “he’s happy. let him be”

“yeah and a pervert” carlos rolls his eyes, throwing a ball towards glen’s direction. “he gets pissy when i interrupt his game but won’t say shit when y/n is around”

“can’t blame him for simping. she’s hot” another guy jumps in, but only loud enough for miguel to not hear,

“ay coach!” carlos calls. “why were you just standing there and not pull him away or something, man?! you do that with the rest of us!”

“you kidding?! that girl’s scary when she’s pissed. better to let her do her thing and back off. now o’hara get your ass here and finish the scrimmage!”

[lloydssluts]

Lloyd Hansen Writing Challenge

Welcome to the Lloyd Hansen Writing Challenge, hosted by the Lloyd Hansen server.

About 2 years ago, we got our first taste of Lloyd Hansen through Netflix’s trailers. From then on, we were hooked. To celebrate this anniversary, we invite writers to join our challenge and create their own Lloyd Hansen fics!

This challenge is 18+ ONLY. Minors are not allowed to engage in any way, shape, or form. It is open to everyone—not just members of our server, although we encourage you to join us if you haven’t already.

All fics will be about Lloyd Hansen. We do not allow incest (stepcest is permitted), underage, or scat play. Fics should be reader inserts* and as inclusive as possible. Any genre (dark, smut, angst, fluff) is allowed. *For any other specifications or adjustments, reach out to one of the mods or send an ask. This is not a strict requirement.

There is no word count requirement. However, you must use a “read more” break, no matter the length. Use appropriate warnings.

The deadline for the challenge is July 22nd, 2024. This is not a strict deadline at all!

You will choose a dialogue that the character has said in the film and transform it from the original context. Certain prompts are open to changing as long as you note that somewhere. Once you’ve chosen a prompt and sent us an ask with it, it will be crossed off from the list. Prompts are on a first-come, first-serve basis! You can select up to 5 prompts.

Need feedback or advice? Feel free to message either one of the mods (@hansensgirl or @cuttlefjsh), or visit our server to discuss your fic with other members.

TAG YOUR FICS WITH THE TAG #Lloyd Hansen Server WC24

Happy writing!

Asterisks + ‘[…]’ indicates a prompt is open for change.

Should we try again?

Boring.

“Mostly, it’s loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” That’s Arthur Schopenhauer. He was a German philosopher, a pessimist. He saw the value in suffering.

Damn it. Phones on silent when I’m working, please.

Still just flirting. But… [...] getting there. *

Well, no one goes to Harvard to play football.

I like to be the exception. What’s up?

Gimme a name.

Could be fun.

Well, I’m gonna need a full green light on this one. Open checkbook.

I’d rather you punch me in the dick.

We’ll find somebody [...] loves and squeeze. *

Have I ever done you wrong, [...]? *

Professionally maybe. Lloyd Hansen, Hansen Government Services.

Aw, does it? Good.

You know my work. That’ll make this next part a lot easier.

You know what makes me sad, [...]? *

Five and a half.

Who likes cats?

Let’s talk about the mess your [...] made. *

Oh, [...] made a big one. And judging by your shallow breathing and puckered asshole*, I can only assume you know why I’m here.

But see, that’s the beauty of the private sector. I don’t care about reasons.

My guess is you’re helping [...] already. So this shouldn’t put too much of a dent in your day. *

But your file, well, that’s chock-full of nuggets, some of which might make you rethink your fussy attitude.

You gonna answer it?

Hey, sunshine. Lloyd Hansen here. I’m the one running this op.

The one where I get exactly what I want.

Okay, that’s fair. Well, why don’t you come on in, and we can chat? My assistant will get lunch. You like sushi?

Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Looks like you need a new phone.

Don’t say “preternatural” to me. It’s an asshole word.

And that, [...], is exactly what bad ethics and zero impulse control will get you. *

I can kill anybody.

Well, we’ll see.

We need to ground in *Vienna.

How do you feel about your license?

Who’s up for some *Tafelspitz?

Hey, sunshine.

What gave it away?

Ballsy.

Nice try, pumpkin.

What size shoe are you?

Can someone get me a Vicodin, please?

On the run, scared shit less.

You know all those rules you guys are always trying to work your way around? They don’t mean dick to me.

Shut up and go sit in the corner.

Oh. How about that?

Forget about the Vicodin.

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Goldilocks, would you be a lamb and excuse us?

Shhh. Please.

Now, whatever I just did to your *ears, it’s not even torture. I just made it up on the spot. Just came to me. And that’s how this is gonna go.

Should we try again?

Maybe we should get the *girl back in here.

Well, that was unexpected.

Make him dead.

My God, how hard is it to shoot somebody?

What I do can’t be taught.

You know what I love about you?

Yahtzee.

No, success qualifies as success.

You wanna make an omelette, you gotta *kill some people.

You know, in English, we call this a *happy ending. However, if you say one more word, you may not see it that way.

Lock everything down.

Get me eyes on the bridge.

You’re making me destroy a historic building here!

Wait! Please don’t shoot! Look what you did to my hand.

Give me that, you little shit.

Now you pick those feet up, or you’re gonna get dead real quick.

Now, listen. You shut up, and you don’t move.

Now, I’m gonna stop you right there, cupcake.

What do you say we wrap this up?

I mean, I’m having a blast, but it’s way past the kid’s bedtime, don’t you think?

You’re gonna throw me that gun, or the little one gets a new face. *

It’s really a shame this isn’t gonna work out between us.

Now normally, at this point in the night, I wouldn’t be sticking around.

With the house lights about to come on, I’d find a desperate, ugly chick to lick my wounds and split, but you have been a pebble in my shoe since the very beginning.

And now I just don’t think I can walk away.

Guess what I’m thinking right now.

I think I’m better than you.

Still getting used to it.

Let’s see if these moves fuck.

[theitgirlnetwork]

Better

Chapter 6: Exclusive...Friends

Note: Hello! Once again thanks for all of the amazing support and love! Writing this story is so fun because of you all! I love seeing everyone interact with it and leave me replies and messages. I am also so glad that you guys like Charlotte! I plan to have the next chapter out tomorrow. Hope you enjoy! <3 WARNING: A little explicit? Kinda. Not really. MDNI

The woman squints her eyes in confusion, looking between Lip and the phone. “I…what?” 

Lip scrubs a hand down his face, trying to calm the insecure thoughts already swirling around in his head. “Boyfriend at home?” His nerves only get worse when she doesn’t immediately respond, instead placing her phone down on his dresser tilting her head at him, offering him an innocent look. Face down. Karen used to do that shit. “Well?”

“Phillip, if I had a boyfriend I would tell you. I would’ve told you.” Charlotte says, hugging herself. Her rose petal lips pulled down into a frown, “Are you seriously mad that I answered my phone? You’re the one who told me to answer.”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ know I did-”

“Stop cursing at me.”

“I’m not cursing at you-”

“Okay, so what are you cursing at? Why are you acting like this, weren’t we having a good time?” Charlotte nods her head toward the door, gesturing for Lip to pull it shut. The blond curses one more time before tugging the door closed and moving to sit on his bed, breathing a little bit better when she sits next to him. “I don’t get what I did wrong.”

The guilt washes over Lip like a wave. He’s pissed at himself for not just listening to Ian and staying downstairs while she made her call. It’s none of his damn business who she’s on the phone with. Even if he feels like it is, it’s not Charlotte’s fault he has fucking issues. “Nothing, You didn't do anything, baby, my bad. Fuck, I need a smoke.” He climbs over the bed, pushing the window open and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to the girl absently, feeling her watching his every move carefully. “Want one?”

Charlotte’s frown goes even deeper. She shrugs spitefully, flipping her hair over shoulder. “Okay. Fine. Gimme one.” 

Lip looks over to her in shock, snapping out of his jealous, guilt filled haze and realizing she’d just accepted a cigarette from him. She’s staring back at him with a challenge on her face, white cigarette between her pink lips. He raises one eyebrow at her, accepting her challenge, pulling his lighter from his pocket.

The pair stare at each other for a moment, stuck in a limbo, each refusing to break. Silence is filling the room, the only sound is muffled music filtering in from downstairs and cars going by outside. Lip breaks the stalemate, unable to hold back his snicker at the fact that Charlotte is holding the wrong way. Her eyes drop to his hand, seeing how he’s holding his and she flips it, mumbling a ‘shut up’ placing it back in between her lips. 

His laughter stops immediately when she snatches the lighter from him, her manicured nails struggling to try to force the stick to light. “Fuck, Charlotte-” Lip’s snatches the cigarette from her lips, snapping it in half between his fingers and tossing it outside before shoving the pack into his drawer, never grabbing one for himself. Grabbing her chin with his thumb and pointer finger, he pulls her face closer, “You don’t use those, understand me?” 

“You don’t get mad at me out of nowhere, for no reason.” she pouts. “Understand me?” 

“Heard.”

“Good.” She chirps, moving away from the window and laying down on her back in his bed, brightness quickly returning to her brown eyes. “Me too. Heard.”

Lip laughs again, even more of the tension that had filled his body in the last few minutes dissipates as he slips down onto the bed too, laying next to her and staring up at the ceiling. “You wanna sound like me or somethin’ now?”

“What? Why would I wanna do that? You’re full of yourself, Phillip Gallagher.” she hums.

“Yeah?” he asks, as he turns lightly to send his fingers into her sides, tickling her briefly before tugging her on top of him to straddle his hips, his hands resting on hers. He feels the room fill with the sound of her laughter, forcing his own smile to form. As their chuckles settle and Charlotte stays on top of him, resting her weight Lip thinks about how good this moment is. Her hands falling softly into his curls, fingers running through his curls, she’s looking down at him with an expression he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. He wants more of it. He loves it.

It’s not even sexual, this moment, him rubbing his thumbs along her hips where her shirt had ridden up and her pants low…okay maybe it’s a little sexual. He’s still a man and this hot girl was sitting her ass on his dick, he’s not a saint. But it wasn’t about how badly he wants to fuck her. Even though he really…really does.

Lip is more focused on how she wasn’t punishing him. He’d been an ass, no matter how fast he snapped out of it. And she didn’t storm out. She didn’t start ignoring him. She was still here. They hadn’t even talked about it, but she wasn’t withholding affection, or trying to distract him with sex. She was giving him soft touches. Charlotte is soft. It makes Lip want to be. Caresses over his jaw, and hair, a patient look, waiting for him to explain what was bothering him. It felt safe to. 

“I uh…” he tries, bringing his own hand up to lightly push his knuckle into her dimple, letting out a breath when she leans into his touch. “I uh, don’t want you fuckin’ with anyone else, alright? I know we’re not really together or anything, and we’re doing your whole ‘friends’ thing but-”

“Okay.” Charlotte says softly. “I won’t. You won’t either, right?” 

Blue eyes stare up into brown and a beat passes. “I won’t.”

“Yay.” she hums quietly, a gentle smile is all he gets to see before she leans down on him completely, burrowing her face into his neck, her hair tickling his skin. 

Lip chuckles, turning his head and kissing her behind her ear and then again on the cheek before flipping them over so he’s on top of her, nudging her hands off of her face. “Yeah? You shy now?”

“Stop it.”

“C’mon, bunny, look at me.” he teases, leaning his forehead against hers. “‘M’sorry, I still gotta ask.”

Charlotte looks up at him, biting her bottom lip. “That was my best friend from home on the phone.”

“Yeah? She okay?”

She sweeps her thumb over his cheek. “Yeah,” she looks away. “He is.”

“Fuckin’ knew it.”

“And while I’m being honest, we used to date.” she blurts, squeezing her eyes shut.”

“Charlotte.” he all but growls, guiding her face to look back at his. “He know about me?”

“Of course, he does!”

“Yeah?” Lip asks. When the girl nods he takes another breath before nodding, wetting his lips. “Okay.”

“Glad that’s settled.” she smiles, pulling the blond down again so their lips can meet. A sweet exchange of kisses turns into a heated makeout as Lip feels along her body, fully settling down on top of her. He slowly drags her shirt up her sides as he starts kissing along her neck, the sound of her sighing in his ear.

Lip pushes their lips back together, groaning when she pushes her hips against his grabbing her thigh with the hand that isn’t gripping the fabric of her shirt, exposing her pink bra. The two of them continue to rock against each other as he goes back to her neck, sucking on the skin and dragging it between his teeth. 

The music from downstairs fully stops and suddenly the only noises in the room are the old bed creaking lightly under their movements, their heavy breathes, and Charlotte’s intermittent whimpers.

“Lottie!” V’s voice calls from downstairs. “Come on, we’re leaving!”

Charlotte drags Lip back to her lips, kissing him deeply one more time, giggling when he mumbles against her mouth, ‘no no no, stay.’

“My daughter’s got 15 seconds to be down here before I come up there and kick your ass Gallagher!” Kev slurs, his voice booming through the house.

“If he wakes Liam up I’ll fuckin’ kill him.” Lip jokes, climbing off of Charlotte and adjusting himself before helping her off the bed.

She pats his cheek and then holds out her hand, letting him intertwine their fingers. “He means well. Am I,” she smiles sheepishly, “gonna see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, ‘course you are.” He grins. 

“Twelve! Thirteen!”

“I’m coming!” she yells, smiling at Lip one last time before leaving the room. 

Lip closes the door again, wincing when he goes to sit, looking down at his pants. “Fuck.” he grunts, grabbing his stuff to shower, pausing at the door when he hear’s Kev yell, ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS ON YOUR FUCKING NECK?!’ and deciding to just deal with his situation behind the safe, locked door of his room.

Charlotte yawns as she struggles to force herself awake, scrunching her nose up as she feels something heavy and warm on her face. “Ugh, off, have to pee.” she whines, shoving Lip’s muscled arm off of her face. The man just grumbles behind her, kicking her in her butt as she stands, chuckling lowly as she squeaks before rolling over to face the other way. “Dick.”

She rifles through his drawer before finding a pair of pajama pants she’s comfortable with stealing, pulling them on and drawing the strings tight to her waist, his shirt already drooping off of her shoulder. The girl stumbles out of the room groggily, mumbling and whining to herself about being tired, going to the bathroom and then deciding to go downstairs and help get Fiona started.

This is how she spends most of her days off recently. Either waking up in the Gallagher house or waking up with a Gallagher in her bed. It has been about 3 weeks since she and Lip had decided to be exclusive…friends. They’ve been taking things both crazily fast, and horribly slow. They talk on and off all day, spending most mornings together, and almost every night. They visit each other at work, Lip stopping by the sport’s bar whenever he can, Charlotte going to either the construction site, or the Alibi with Lip. He absolutely refuses to take her back to the college campus with him, unless college campus with him because all the guys looking at her pissed him off and frankly he was terrified of an old professor coming over and telling him what a shithead he was before he got kicked out. 

But they were going slow. Maybe too slow for Charlotte, definitely too slow for Lip. Making out became more frequent for them. Her on his lap in Kev’s car, him on top of her in his bed, rolling their hips together on the couch. But Charlotte had drawn a line in the sand. Breaking away from his embrace and panting against his lips, “I only have sex when I’m in a relationship. M’sorry.”

Lip would argue that they are in one, but when he looks down into those earnest brown eyes, he can’t help but try to please her. Kissing her temple and telling her, ‘nothing to be sorry about’ as he tries to shift into a position where his dick isn’t pushing at her. 

Charlotte hops down the stairs with light footsteps, starting the coffee before bending over and pulling out a pan to start making french toast, eggs and bacon.

“Well, good morning.” a voice slurs behind her. 

Charlotte all but leaps out of her skin, screaming and whipping around, pushing herself against the counter. “Oh shit” she gasps, “Frank! When did you get back?”

“Stop yelling, and pour me some coffee, will you?” The man grumbles. “Who do you belong to again?”

“God.” she breathes, grabbing a mug. Quick footsteps come down the stairs, Mickey turning the corner and finding Charlotte in the kitchen with a dirty, disheveled Frank.

He scowls, deeply, standing between the two, “He fuckin’ with you, princess?” 

“No.” Charlotte sighs, passing Mickey and Frank both mugs. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Did I wake Ian too?”

“Now,” Frank begins, “I thought you belonged to the red one.”

The two continue to ignore the older man, Mickey slipping into a seat and Charlotte starting to fry the bacon. “Nah, Gallaghers can sleep through anything. Dead to the world ‘til they're ready to get up. Besides, I wore his ass out.”

“Ugh, Mickey!”

“What? Thought we were bondin’ or some shit. Lip’s sleepin’ pretty soundly up there.”

Charlotte giggles to herself, placing a finished piece of bacon on the plate, huffing when Frank snatches it before stumbling into the living room. 

Before long Fiona comes tiredly, staggering in. Pointing at Frank laid out on the floor irritably and choosing to ignore him, stepping over his body and going into the kitchen. “Mornin’, Mr.  and Mrs. Gallagher, your husbands still asleep?”

Mickey simply raises his middle finger to the girl, as Charlotte passes her the first plate. “You’re just grumpy because you’re tired. Eat. Sleep. I’ll help out until you get up.”

Fiona offers her a sleepy smile, taking a bite of french toast. “You’re my favorite. Tell V I was very mean to you and tried to stop you from shacking up with my brother every other night, will you.”

“I’ll even fake cry.”

“Too much, she’ll kick my ass.”

A couple more minutes and the rest of the Gallagher children begin to filter down at the smell of food, Liam on Debbie’s hip, Ian sleepily dropping into the seat next to Mickey, the latter not even flinching as his boyfriend’s head falls onto his shoulder roughly. 

Lip goes straight toward the kitchen, wrapping his arm around Charlotte’s waist and rubbing his face against her jaw before pulling her close, “Kiss me.” he rasps, his voice still filled with sleep. 

Charlotte ignores the smug smile on his face as she pushes up on her toes, pushing their lips together and obscuring them from his family’s view with her hand, slapping Lip’s chest with the other when he squeezes her ass. 

The younger Gallagher’s (and Fiona) boo at the sound of lips smacking and Charlotte quickly goes back to cooking as Lip flips them off, grabbing the coffee she’d made him. 

Everyone starts making their plates, shuffling in and out, crowding the kitchen. The space is small and the pan was already getting really hot, so it’s no wonder bacon grease pops. Lip’s eyes shoot open at the feminine yelp, Charlotte’s whimper as she clutches her hand causes him to rush back over, grabbing her wrist to inspect her hand. “Damn it, can you guys give her some damn space? Shit.”

“Phillip-” she whines, her bottom lip wobbling, “It hurts.” 

The blond man sighs, pulling her over to the sink, “I know, I know, stop whining, bunny.” He turns on the cold water and watches her hand closely, instructing Carl to get ointment from upstairs and Debbie to tell V and Kev breakfast was ready. “Gotta be more careful.” he winces as if it’s his own hand that had been burned.

“Is it gonna leave a mark?” she asks, eyeing the small burn. 

“Nah, it’ll be okay, see?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss next to the injury. 

Charlotte’s frown stays in place but she nods as Lip pushes his thumb into her cheek. She grumbles about helping Liam get changed and Fiona get to bed before taking two of his siblings upstairs. Lip watches her go up before taking a bite out of the bacon on his plate, going to cover hers so her food would stay hot when he feels an unwanted hand land on his shoulder.

“You’re spoiling her son.”

Knocking Frank’s hand off, Lip grabs his own plate and Charlotte’s moving to the table. “Shut the hell up, Frank.”

“You keep acting like that and she’ll think this thing is permanent. You don’t want that. Girls like that have expectations, son.”

“God, stop talking, Frank.” Ian groans, pushing away from the table, putting his and Mickey’s plates in the sink and gesturing for his boyfriend to follow him upstairs. “First shower.”

Frank’s gray brows furrow. “He used to be so sweet before he started up with that thug. Believe me son, girls like that require too much maintenance. Cut your losses.”

“Maybe I know how to treat my woman, Frank.” Lip replies smugly, finishing off his coffee. “And how to get her to stick around too.” 

Frank recoils at the implication. “My Monica is way more complex than your, Lottie-”

“Thank God.”

“And-! I know women like her, they wrestle you down into the prison that is monogamy, drain your money and demand all your time in exchange for some two and a half spoiled kids, mediocre meals, and a pretty face to look at during missionary sex-”

Lip is shooting out of his seat and punching Frank in the face before his father can see him coming. He watches in disgust as Frank slumps to the floor, shaking his hand out. He turns around to see V and Kev standing in the doorway, both of them shrugging and stepping over the elderly man.

“Debbie said breakfast is ready?”

“Are you done?” 

Lip looks down to the half-smoked cigarette in his hand and sighs, flicking it to the ground and stepping on it. “Yeah, baby.”

“Kay!” she chirps, turning the corner again and smiling up at Lip expectantly. 

Lip smirks down at her, seeing her breath in the cold air as she speaks and tugging her close, grabbing the ends of her open jacket and zipping it to her neck. “Tryin’ to fuckin’ kill yourself to look cute or somethin’”

“Alan wants us to leave our jackets open when we’re out front so customers can still see our uniforms.” 

Lip clenches his jaw as he reminds himself he promised not to do anything to jeopardize her job again, even though he thinks he should take a bat to Alan’s car windows. “Yeah fuck that, he’s not gonna be the reason you get sick.” Satisfied that he’s properly bundled her up he grabs her hand and starts walking, she only gets so long for her break. “So uh…what’s this Christmas surprise you were so excited to give me?”

Charlotte grins in excitement, clutching her purse tighter with her free hand and shaking her head, dark ponytail bouncing from side to side. “You have to wait until we get to the park, I wanna fully see your reaction.”

“The park, huh? So it’s not you naked with only a bow? Because I told you not to get me anything other than that.”

She rolls her eyes, nudging his shoulder. “You got me something. And won’t let me have it until Christmas day…”

“Yeah, well I’m supposed to.” He says, “Would you still want me if I didn’t get you a Christmas present?” he jokes.

Charlotte tucks her head down a little as they cross into the park. “Yes.” she says quietly.

Lip pauses, pulling her to a stop and looking at her. I know, he thinks, leaning in and biting her cheek lightly, rolling his eyes at her dramatic ‘ow’. “Stop being so fuckin’ cute then.” 

As they sit on the bench, Charlotte’s energy shifts, she faces him, looking nervous. “Okay, so there’s a good gift, and then news you might not love.” 

“Okay.” He says, sitting and waiting patiently.

Charlotte produces two white envelopes from her purse, one with a red bow on the top and the other plain, holding them both in front of Lip. “Present” she says, waving the one with the bow, “Neutral news.” she waves the other. “Pick which one you want first.”

“Are you red pill blue pilling my ass?” he chuckles.

“What? What the hell is that?”

“Nothing baby, lemme get the bad news first. Might as well get it over with-” He pauses when she snatches the plain envelope away.

“Sorry, I got nervous. Open the good one.” she hands him the envelope with the bow, her smile returning as she watches him rip it open and two slips of paper fall out. “Tada!”

Lip turns one of the pieces of paper over, reading it closely, his eyebrows shooting up. Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. His mouth opens and closes as he tries to find the words to express how he feels, failing miserably. 

The Chicago Museum of Science. 12 years ago, a teacher had summoned Monica and Frank to the school, begging them to stimulate his brain more. They’d told them that he was incredibly bright. Genius level under the right development. That maybe he’d be less destructed if he was challenged more intellectually. That the process starts in the home. His parent’s egos had been stroked and so they were pretty fuckin’ excited to announce in the bar they had him and Fiona sleeping in that night that their son was a, in Frank’s words, ‘goddamned genius who can think circles around you drunk peons and would use his big ass brain to think them out of the hood’. They saw an ad about the museum in a newspaper outside and declared they were going to take him. Lip had been excited to say the least. They got him up, got him ready and took him to the bus stop. Where they got high, got into a fight, walked off and forgot Lip for hours. He waited and waited and waited. Fiona eventually came and got him. She rubbed his head that night, telling him it was okay to cry, Daddy wasn’t home yet to see him. Except Lip didn’t feel like crying. He was angry, at fucking Frank. At Monica. At his fucking self for thinking he was going to that stupid fucking awesome museum. It’s not like they hadn’t spent the ticket money that teacher gave them because they’d believed in him so goddamned much on drugs anyway.

Now, 12 years later, Charlotte was rewriting memories for him without even knowing. 

“I know you’re probably way more advanced in all that science-y stuff than the exhibits here, but some of it looks interesting. And before you say anything it didn’t cost a lot and I already got Kev to agree to let us use his car but you have to drive because for some reason he doesn’t trust me to and I have to work a couple shifts at The Alibi for free but that’s okay-”

I love you.

Lip���s eyes widen in panic as that thought goes through his mind. He can’t…that’s not…he can’t think that. Not yet.

He immediately tries to distract himself, pulling Charlotte into a deep kiss that only makes the thought swirl in his mind on repeat. When he finally lets her catch her breath, he cups her cheeks again, looking at her intensely. “Thank you, bunny. I love…I love it.”

She smiles widely at him, her cheeks still mushed in his hands, “We’re going at the end of the week. It’s gonna be so fun, Phillip.”

“Yeah it fuckin’ is, shit, I gotta get another brochure so we can see the cool shit.”

“Aw, you’re such a planner.” she teases, squeaking when he pulls her legs over his lap and tugs her closer. 

“Okay, now gimme the other one.” he says, a small smile still on his face.

Charlotte bites her lip, clutching the other envelope. “It’s gonna kill the mood.”

“I thought you said it’s neutral news.”

“It’s good but bad, but not that bad. Hey-” Charlotte tries to snatch the envelope back as Lip snatches it, turning away and blocking her hands as she tries to grab it back. “Phillip-”

“Might as well get it over with.” he says, tearing at the paper, pulling out another folded piece of paper. “You better not have gotten me anything else.” Lip laughs, unfolding the paper and beginning to read. Charlotte shifts uncomfortably under the silence.

“Phillip?” she tries, leaning forward trying to catch his eyes, but they’re glued to the paper. “Phillip.”

“It’s uh,” he clears his throat, reading the paper again as if it was the most complex reading he’s ever done. “A plane ticket to Virginia.”

“Yeah, but see, it’s set after when we’ll go to the museum.”

“Yeah almost right fuckin’ after.” hurt fills his blue eyes as he shakes his head in disbelief.  Charlotte’s stomach clenches at the look on his face. 

“Kev and V helped me pay for the rest of it. I’m gonna get to see my parents.” she says in a small voice.

“Okay,” he says incredulously. “But why is it a fucking one-way?”

[slutforsilverfoxes]

Eight Seconds

[Not quite an author’s note, but more so a confession: I went line dancing the other night… I wish it went like this 😮‍💨 This do be self-indulgent PWP below the cut :) ]

__________

“I feel like an absolute schmuck. I look like an absolute schmuck. Cowboy hats aren’t meant to be worn this far west, it’s just not a good look,” Danny laments aloud, then catches his girlfriend’s eyes narrowed at his comment and quickly amends, “Except you, my dear, look absolutely adorable in yours.”

“That’s because you’ve got Jersey written all over your ugly mug,” his best friend ever so kindly informs him before taking a pull from his second beer of the night. “Gimme that.”

Steve takes the felt hat off of the blonde’s head and dons it himself instead, adjusting the brim low enough to hide the way his gaze is fixed on one young woman twirling around the dancefloor.

You throw your head back with a laugh as your current partner in the circle dance spins you to the next, and you take your new partner’s hand without missing a beat. Steve is absolutely mesmerized by the way you move so effortlessly, gliding between the complicated steps without a care in the world, your ponytail swinging in the same rhythm as your tempting hips.

“Hey,” Melissa yells to be heard over the pounding bass of the country song, nudging Steve hard enough to break him out of his trance. He turns to her and she lifts the brim of the hat before challenging, “Why don’t you get in there instead of ogling her all night, Commander?”

He’s grateful the flashing lights turn red at that moment to accompany the song change and graciously hide the heat creeping across his cheeks. “Am I being that obvious?”

“I’m surprised someone hasn’t put out a restraining order yet,” Danny’s quick to jibe. “Although I guess you’re meeting the requisite fifty feet.”

“You’re a riot,” the brunette grumbles under his breath before downing the rest of his beer. He twists around to place the empty bottle on the table, then turns back to find his view of the dancefloor blocked by a pair of jean shorts and a crop top sporting the skeletal head of a bull, if he’s not mistaken.

“Forgive me if I’m wrong,” your sweet voice settles over him like the Hawaii sunshine after a cool morning swim, “but y’all came out on a line dancing night and have yet to get to dancing.” A finger tips the brim of his hat even further up, and Steve comes face to face with the vision he’s been silently pining after all evening. He opens his mouth to answer, but finds himself speechless for quite possibly the first time in his adult life.

Thankfully, you fill the silence by chatting with Melissa, letting Steve bask in the touch of warm southern drawl woven around your words, and a different kind of heat floods his face this time thinking about what that sweet accent would sound like calling out his name tonight. He zones out while you prattle on, indulging in his decidedly not-safe-for-work fantasy and appreciating the way the cuff of your shorts sits snugly on your thick thighs just below the curve of your ass. Of all the things he’s been jealous of touching you tonight, denim takes the crown for being the most absurd.

“Commander Cupid,” Danny barks, roughly swatting at Steve’s shoulder to get his attention. “She’s talking to you, you putz.”

He clears his throat before turning his focus to you with an apologetic smile. “Got lost in my thoughts there,” he says by way of an explanation, and the twinkle of mirth in your eyes tells him you have a pretty good idea of just what those thoughts entailed.

“I asked if you wanted to come dance or just sit here watching me all night,” you repeat, one eyebrow cocked playfully.

“Oh, I, uh-” He knows he’s caught, and he lets out a soft laugh while shaking his head. “Totally busted, huh?”

“Tell you what,” you declare confidently, letting your hair fall loose from its elastic confine before palming the felt hat and settling it snugly on your head with a smirk. “I’ll make the decision for you.”

You start your journey back to the dance floor, clapping along to the kick drum announcing the beginning of that one Luke Bryan song that everybody always seems to know. You throw a wink over your shoulder and Steve stands to join you, pausing mid-step when Melissa hollers his name. He turns back to find an elated grin on her face, and she calls out, “Do you know the rule?”

Steve raises one eyebrow and shakes his head, curious.

“If you wear the hat…”

__________

“...you ride the cowboy,” you exclaim breathlessly in the back of Steve’s Silverado, your thighs burning from exertion. “Never heard that one before?”

“Nu uh,” the brunette answers rather unintelligently, the second syllable morphing into a groan when you roll your hips against his, somehow slotting his length even deeper in your heat. His hands find your love handles of their own volition, kneading the soft, warm skin there while you mouth hungrily at the sharp planes of his stubbled jaw.

He plants his feet on the floor of his truck before using his bruising grip as leverage to buck up into you, your hips kissing with every thrust as his lips find yours once more. You moan into his awaiting mouth, every coherent thought in your head disappearing, replaced by a mantra of your devilish lover’s name.

“That’s it, baby,” Steve rumbles out his praise. “Take everything I give you like a good girl.”

“Fuck yes,” you cry out, your head falling back and giving him the opportunity to run his nose down your exposed throat, a light scraping of teeth following in its wake. “Bite me,” you plead, and he’s quick to obey, sinking his teeth into the dip where your neck and shoulder meet.

Your walls tighten around his cock at the pleasurable tinge of pain, forcing Steve to let out an involuntary whimper against your skin. You pull back with a gasp, cupping his cheeks between your two smaller hands and feeling his face grow hot beneath your fingertips. “Oh my god,” you manage to get out between incessant pants every time your hips meet. “Do that again.”

“You like th-” The incredulous question dies on his lips, cut off by another soft whimper when you intentionally flex your muscles around him.

“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard come out of a man’s mouth,” you declare, excited by the new discovery. “Don’t you hold back on me now.”

He doesn’t.

Spurred on by your praise and just how fucking hot it is for someone else to order him around for once, Steve allows himself to be vocal, all manner of delicious sounds escaping his kiss-bitten lips while you ride him for everything he’s worth.

“That’s it, baby,” you echo his words from earlier with a positively dangerous grin. “Take everything I give you like a good boy.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out, his cock twitching in response to your overt display of dominance. This is new for him, too, and he decides at that moment that he’s going to have to explore this side of himself more often.

“What is it, Steve?” you ask, your taunt coated by your honey-sweetened accent. “You need to cum? Need to fill this little pussy up?” An unintelligible noise works its way up from low in his throat, and he stares up at you, dumbstruck. “Is that a ‘yes’?”

Steve nods desperately, not trusting his voice to form a response in a coherent manner.

“Oh, sweet boy,” you coo, carding your fingers through his hair, slowing down the torturous twisting of your hips, your other hand teasing your clit. He holds your thighs in a vice grip, his own quaking beneath your body in an attempt to stave off his impending orgasm. Then you tuck one finger under his chin and lift his gaze to yours, and the single syllable you utter shatters the last of his resolve. “Beg.”

Hot ropes of cum paint your walls as Steve lets out a debauched groan, his head falling back against the seat of the truck while you apply steady pressure to your clit, letting yourself crest over the edge moments after him.

You give Steve some time to recover, pressing gentle kisses to his sweaty skin and running your nails along his scalp until the heaving of his chest gives way to steadier breathing. “You okay, baby?”

“That-” He stops, shaking his head and opting to capture your lips in a tender kiss instead of voicing his feelings.

“I figured after the week you had, fighting with the FBI over jurisdiction on your case, you might like to give up control,” you offer by way of explanation, sinking further into his lap to rest your head in the crook of his neck.

���Yeah, you could say that,” your boyfriend laughs, in awe of your uncanny ability to read him so easily. His fingers trail up and down your spine and you settle into his warmth with a content sigh before cheekily adding, “Didn’t think you’d like it that much, though.”

A laugh rumbles out of him again and he admits, “I knew you were a switch, but I didn’t think I was, too.”

“Surprise,” you respond, and he feels your lips turn upward in a smile against his skin. “And here you and Danny were being resistant to line dancing. I told y’all it’s fun, didn’t I?”

He hums in agreement, then adds with a self-satisfied lilt to his voice, “Kind of you to save a horse tonight, sweetheart.”

You snort in response, clambering out of his lap to fix your clothes for the ride home. Finding the discarded cowboy hat in the truck’s passenger seat, you return it to its rightful spot on your boyfriend’s head. “I’ll turn you into a country boy, yet, Steve.”

__________

[A/N (for realsies): Don’t ask where this came from, tbh I blame WhimperTok for r u i n i n g me. And I just know this big, tough man is secretly a lil slut who wants to be Commander outside the bedroom but Commanded™️ in the bedroom, u feel me? I may have to explore this more 👀]

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️Reality TV’s Stupidest Alliance☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 2 “Logged & Loaded”

What am I predicting for eliminations?

Uh… how many people are here? 14?

So I’d say… 7 mergers?

Pre-Merge boots I’m guessing… I said Alec last post cause of Fiore. And I said Lilly cause she’s good at the game so they’d want to get rid of her. So… others…?

Will, Drew (forgot him in the last post), Dan, and Grett. I can see Grett being a Pre-Merge villain and getting booted right before the merge.

And… one more… I guess Miriam. Idk why, but if I had to choose out of the ones left.

I think the alliance of 4 is gonna lose half its members. I see Nick getting character development. I see Fiore being an antagonist. And Ashley… she’s nice. I just like her and hope she goes far. Jake & Tom have a thing going on that the opening spoiled so they’re both merging. Then Gabby is being set up for character development as well.

I forgot Ellie. I forgot she was on the purple team… she’s gonna be the teams swing vote, isn’t she? That sucks.

This is what the dynamic between her and Gabby are alluding to? They’re both on opposite teams but they both have major setbacks and disadvantages to their game. Gabby cause no one likes her and she’s allied with Grett, and Ellie cause she’s stuck in the middle of her team and will be screwed if she doesn’t play… less than pure, I guess. But they become besties and it trumps those issues.

That’s what I’m predicting anyway.

So… let’s start this episode.

I got the SAME AD AGAIN. WTF?!

"Is that recycled paper?"

How does he write that fast? That's impressive. Gimme that skill.

"I want to talk to her but she scares me a little."

What did she do to you?

"She reminds me a little of my grandmother. How she walks, how she talks... I miss her."

"She's been sick for months and she can't have visitors."

Oh my god...

Is that why he's competing? Medical bills to help her?

Well geez, keep that up and I might actually root for you to win.

"Yeah, she was often cranky, but she was the only one that really understood me."

You on the spectrum?

"Jake... I don't know what to say, but if you need to talk to someone, I'm always here."

D'aaaaawwww 💗

That face.

He was eyeing Tom all of last episode too and I just didn't bring it up.

YOU ARE NOT SUBTLE, SIR

So we have how many characters with motives and reasons to be here now? Fiore got dumped by her parents, Nick wants to prove himself, Jake wants to help his grandma.

I'm really liking that they're giving these characters REASONS to be on the show and why they want to win.

Cause in Total Drama we don't get a lot of their backgrounds outside of the game, and only a handful explained their motives for winning. I think of Gen 1 the only one that really had a motive aside from 'I want to be rich' is Alejandro.

I like what they're doing here.

"If our team fails, you'd be the one to blame."

Pretty sure that's not how that works.

Mostly it's a social challenge. If they think you're the one at fault for the loss, just say "Whoa whoa whoa! You don't want to vote me! You want to vote that guy!"

I obviously would suck at Survival.

So... actually I like Grett's game move here. Be on good terms with the leader, and... do what I said basically.

"WHOA WHOA GUYS! You don't want to vote Tom! Let's vote that glasses guy instead! That's a much better game move! TRUST ME."

Oh these two...

They're like "Oh shit. We're the outliers here, aren't we?"

"What makes you think you'll get far? Have you seen how fast the others are getting close to each other?"

"I've noticed. That's a problem."

Oh they're actually addressing it. Cool. They're not stupid.

"You're not going to walk thirty minutes over there."

"Sure I can. I love to walk."

She just like me fr

"That fat girl made you look stupid."

Huh?

...what???

"I love your coat my the way! I own a similar one!"

Do you have a split personality?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

She was talking to herself...

And it was such a massive fourth wall break that it gave me an ad on body spray. XD

"Today's reward will be a complete fishing kit. That will make it easier to find food."

I guess... but you can also make cages or nets to catch fish. I know that's something that's possible.

There's not any wildlife they're killing, is there?

"An immunity totem has been hidden somewhere in the forest."

OH. ALREADY?!?!

We got an idol in play!

I wish Total Drama used Immunity Idols more. It's such a cool game mechanic in Survivor. (At least, in the clips I've seen of people playing them)

Yeah I know the Reboot did in Season 2. We don't talk about that.

"That totem could save me from the unfavorable position I find myself in."

Yes. Yes it would.

Actually, no, let me predict for a sec. Either him or Ellie find that idol, and they save themselves with it, causing a member from the 4 alliance to get the boot. And that's how that alliance breaks.

I mean, you're not gonna get them any other way I feel.

Awwww, look at Ashley carrying the demon child. 💗

"I heard how Grett spoke to you. You shouldn't let her talk to you like that."

Boy, I agree with you and I get you're nice. Grett is in hearing range and WILL gun for you.

My case and my point. Grett gunned you.

Cause it looks to me like otherwise, you tripped on NOTHING.

"I'm really curious what you look like without it."

...

EXCUSE ME?!?! O_O

BOY. YOU JUST MET.

"I'm a little scared to have to slide down from up here."

Oh for the love of drama-

Pull a Leshawna. THROW HIM OFF.

"Ellie, Alec, you go on that one. Nick, Ashley, and I can take the next one."

*does the math*

Hey wait so you're gonna leave him with the child after he JUST confessed to being scared?!

Listen to your alliance teammates! You're in hearing range, right?!

Why can't Lilly go with Fiore? Wouldn't that make more sense cause she's the one cutting?

OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH.

Grett's gonna steal that from Gabby, isn't she?

But either way, Gabby's immune, LET'S GO!

"By the way, have you started streaming the episodes yet?"

YOU THINK YOU'RE SOOOOOOO SMUG, HUH?!?! I SEE YOU.

"Remember to cut any scenes I'm in."

*Stares intensely at him*

...okay.

"What if we fall?!"

That's kinda the point.

IT'S A HILL.

*chokes on breath*

YOU GO KID. BITCH SLAP HIM.

A six year old is bitch slapping a grown man, this is not a drill.

"What was that?"

I mean, let's be honest... she just said facts.

Yeah the slap was wrong, but it's not as bad as it could've been. She just told the truth.

"You're costing us this challenge and everyone will know it."

Yes but he has something you don't. NUMBERS.

Well your point just went down the drain, cause that's YOUR fault.

WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB TWO?!?!

The 'yay' card, aww that's so cute... 😄

"She does have a point, yeah? She's got the flags and Will's got no."

Okay, that's stupid.

1) You guys can SEE the top of the hill, right?! If you couldn't, that wasn't established.

2) You saw the position of the two on the log. Fiore was standing on top of him! OF COURSE HE COULDN'T GET A FLAG

3) Would you guys seriously DITCH your alliance?! It WILL cause you the entire long game and you know it! DON'T BLOW THAT

Oh and 4 as a bonus) You never even listened to your ally! You KNEW he was scared, and yet you left him with a KID

"Maybe this was all a misunderstanding."

Ashley. I get it's hard to not side with a child. Use your brain.

"I wish I could believe you, but I know a little girl would never do those things."

Oh my god, you've never seen a child for more than two seconds your entire life. Not every kid is a saint! Toddlers are bratty as shit! They do that to get it out of their system!

(From this point on, I will put a 'Keep Reading' mark on the Tribal Council segments so I don't spoil the eliminations for my followers)

Oh we actually SEE who votes who!

YES!! THANK YOU! I WANTED THIS!!!

This is like Survivor much more, cause they flip these cards over to share the names, and you can see what the numbers were.

I always imagine what the eliminations in Total Drama would look like if they did that as well.

Okay Lilly's being smart.

WAIT CAUSE ASHLEY THREW HER VOTE WILL'S GONNA LEAVE, OH GOD...

YOU DIDN'T TALK TO YOUR ALLIANCE ABOUT THIS?!?! YOU COULD'VE VOTED OUT ALEC TOGETHER, AND YOU'D BE FINE.

That's Ashley's vote

That's not Lilly's handwriting. Is that Will or Nick?

That's Lilly's.

Not Alec's writing... Fiore's?

Alec, Fiore... Ellie?

And that's it.

RIP

NICK IS THE TRAITOR. OMG

YOU ARE REALITY TV'S STUPIDIEST ALLIANCE

(Unless Will voted himself)

I mean I don't really care about his character, but that could've so easily been avoided.

Tom, what ninja stuff are you getting into??

If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.

[oswlld]

oswlld's monthly wrap up: may

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

--

Arsenic and Adobo, Mia P. Manansala [started 05/18, finished 06/03] I didn’t dip my toes into the light murder mystery genre until now and to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s working for me. But I have seen recommendations floating around this series with filipino characters and wanted to check it out. The main character, Lila, is eerily specific to my personal experiences and upbringing, but the writing feels severely lacking because I’m actively looking for more character development and depth. My best friend clarified that this genre doesn’t really flesh out the characters in the way I want it to. In the end, it just fell flat for me. I gave it 3.5⭐️ on storygraph (which might be generous) — Crying in H-Mart, Michelle Zauner [started 05/09, finished 06/09] Have you even got a book that you know that you’ll love, so you just end up avoiding it at all costs? This is a memoir that I needed to read this slowly because it just felt incredibly special. And so painful. If you’re a first gen aapi with a difficult relationship with your mother, this is going to be a LOT for you. Sobbing, snotty, the whole works. Take long breaks in between reads if you need it. I luckily saved the heaviest part of the book for when I was taking an impromptu trip to the lake, surrounded by so much sun, mist, and life. The world was comforting me and wiping away my tears. 5.0⭐️ on storygraph!!

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, dnf] I only had time to catch episode 9 in May. I thought I would be able to complete the series this month, but alas it might be a DNF. Please tell me that the adorable teachers got together! — Doctor Who, Disney+ [started: 05/10, in prog] It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that DW is on here. I am a DW blog first, multifandom blog second. I’m loving the spin RTD is taking with the show for this run, having the genre touch on the supernatural/mythical/fantasy. It still has the same DNA but it’s so fresh. I only caught the first two eps on premiere week and haven’t had the time to keep up with the show weekly, but I am catching up soon. — Murderville, Netflix [started 02/10, finished: 05/23] I forgot to include this in my february wrap up, but I watched eps 1-4 back then and finally got around to seeing the last two eps this month. This show is such a delight! I love the unique twist on the concept of procedural improv, where the guest star actually have to solve the case at the end of the ep. They’re not there to just play off the other actors, they invite themselves to interact with the plot without taking it too seriously. If this sounds right up your alley to turn your brain down to like… 25%, please check this out. — Attack on Titan [started: 05/26, in prog] I have quite a journey ahead of me, but I’m happy to report that I LOVED the first ep. What a strong start to my anime era! This is gonna be my summer obsession, I can just feel it. By the time this posts, I will have seen eps two and maybe three(??). Gimme them right now, in an IV please. — Devil’s Plan, Netflix [started: 04/23, ALMOST complete] Bestie and I are OBSESSED with this competition series and we just learned there will be a s2, YAYY! This isn’t a show where you can turn your brain off. Now that I think about it, I don’t think there’s been a challenge I fully understood until ep 10, but man is it fun watching the contestants figure it out. They’re all SO intelligent and SOOO charming. And the games are so creative and elevated, it makes the stakes so charged! We are a few min into ep 11, out of 12, and we are planning to finish it this week. I don’t want this show to endddd!

Whew! I thought I didn’t watch much this month, but I covered a lot of ground on the TV front huh.

Pedro, Netflix [watched on 05/05] First off, you’ll be delighted to know that the artist and subject matter of the film, Pedro Friedeberg, has two cats named Wikipedia and Netflix. What I find so refreshing about this documentary in particular is Pedro, the unwilling participant during the process. The filmmaker, Liora Spilk Bialostozky, takes great care in sharing her insecurities about it. Liora is not shy about her adoration for her favorite artist and Pedro is very firm with his boundaries when pressed about his personal life. It makes for a very delightful, yet tense friendship between the two. — Polite Society [watched on 05/31] This is still fresh in my mind but what a spectacular film! LOVE how it puts the sister bond in the forefront of this classic action film, as well as all the female friendships. It makes the tonal shift flow seamlessly because the heart of the film beats strong. The best scene was the KHAN vs KHAN fight sequence, Ria vs Lena. The bashing, the biting, and the blood! The choice to make the final blow be self-inflicted, especially when it targets my personal experience, really took this film to new heights. I want to just ‘This movie has EVERYTHING’ meme the hell out of this. It has weird girls, judgmental aunties, college dropouts who have an estranged relationship with making art, torture scenes through the use of leg waxing, reproductive autonomy, FEMALE RAGE! It deserves to be up there when people think of 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless.

GÉNESIS, Peso Pluma [first time listening] Before Coachella, I knew very little about Peso Pluma but his live performance really shot him to the top of my list of artists to catch up on. When I was little, my dad always had corrido playing in his car radio and to this day, he still occasionally plays it in the garage. What I really admire about GÉNESIS is the modern twists the artist takes in the production and writing, perfectly paying homage to the traditional without it sounding dated. I think it’s largely due to his vocals. He doesn’t shy away from perfecting at the cost of being authentic and it shines in songs such as Rubicon and 77. The latter half of the album really packs a punch, it’s so hard to pick a favorite. Everything from Lady Gaga to the end is just banger after banger after banger. Having this album play in my car… I really do take after my father. — LAS LETRAS YA NO IMPORTAN, Residente [first time listening] I first heard of Residente from the song Immigrants (We Get the Job Done) from the Hamilton Mixtape. Even then, I made a mental note to get back to him, but lost track of time until I started listening to Peso Pluma. This compilation consists of 23 songs and it’s such a sublime experience from beginning to end! It’s cinematic, it’s heavy, it’s a party, AND it’s skipless. He has a level of talent that has me raging!!! HE’S SO GOOOOOOD TF?!?!? The first time I heard 313, I wrote a note on my phone with “hhhhhhhh???!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how dare he” and I stand by that statement. It’s almost six minutes long and not one second was wasted. Where Peso Pluma brings the traditional corrido to the present, Residente brings rap/hip-hop into the future. Whenever I get a chance to jump back into the album in the car, the songs I tend to gravitate towards are Artificial Inteligente, Cerebro, Yo No Sé Pero Sé, Que Fluya, and Las Letras Ya No Importan. This guy doesn’t miss, I hate him (affectionate). — Everything I Know About Love, Laufey [first time listening] This album is magnificent, I am UNWELL. The way I feel about this album is the same way I felt about Five Seconds Flat last summer: a feeling so bone deep, my soul begs for release. Bewitched was such a strong outing for me, so hearing little echos of it in the album before made the listen experience all the more enchanting. I’m so in love with this album. I’m actually convinced that Above the Chinese Restaurant is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Ever. If I talk about this album more, it’s going to dig up so much of my deepest, darkest memories. I can’t… but also please talk to me about this album. — HIT ME HARD AND SOFT, Billie Eilish [first time listening] On gawd, what a stellar month for music, I can’t believe it! What a KNOCKOUT!! Billie and Finneas, I feel, have finally come home. They finally own their craft, refined it, and carved it into this marble masterpiece. Billie is more daring with her vocal range and exploring new avenues in her execution. The entirety of L’amour De Ma Vie was just me going “ARE YOU KIDDING ME????” 30 times over in the car. No but for real, is she joking? This is so ungodly, what am I supposed to do with myself?? HELP???? It’s a no-skip album, there is no top 5, no favorites list. It just is and it’s unbelievable that I can’t experience it for the first time all over again.

[sydneyofalltrades]

okay bc @toooliix can’t let me have peace, y’all get the complete comprehensive dream roles list

(yes this was an old draft FUCK OFF)

trust me this is very long so if you don’t wanna see it just skip it 😭

1. jane doe/penny lamb from ride the cyclone

reasons why i want to play this character:

she’s ghostly and silly and deep

her song is fucking AMAZING

i wanna be a scary baby girliepop doll head

could i play her?: i can sing tbojd effortlessly and i’m a pretty decent actor. i may be poc but what’s that to a doll’s head

what’s stopping me?: i’m a teenager with absolutely no community theater doing this show

2. ricky potts from ride the cyclone

reasons why i want to play this character:

HE IS LITERALLY GENDER?? LOOK AT HIM

singing space age bachelor man every night would definitely heal some gender dysphoria i have

he’s a scrunkly goober who wears a super sparkly costume

i am genuinely an irl ricky (without the disability)

could i play him?: i can sing space age bachelor man and i’m masculine enough?

what’s stopping me?: afab and not physically disabled (i’m neurodivergent but no physical disability and i would never want to mischaracterize him)

3. noel gruber from ride the cyclone:

reasons why i want to play this character:

he is. my favorite.

he and i are lost souls

gender?? like hello??

could i play him?: i can sing his song and act his part. but i have very little confidence in my gender fluidity

what’s stopping me?: lack of confidence. and also afab

4. veronica sawyer from heathers the musical:

reasons why i want to play this character:

my dream role since i first got into musicals

she makes me feel confident in my own horrible love life and bad decisions

she’s a badass. point blank

could i play her?: DEFINITELY! gimme a day to learn the script and two hours for choreo and i will be ronnie sawyer

what’s stopping me?: lack of practice, money, and genuine resources

5. jason dean from heathers the musical

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

reasons why i want to play this character:

gay gay homosexual gay

genderbent jd means toxic yuri which is always appreciated

a sapphic meant to be yours would genuinely break me so why not be the one to do it?

could i play him?: even with being genderbent, i think i could give it a shot! his insane spiral might be challenging to play out but i love challenges!

what’s stopping me?: afab, lack of genderblind productions, broke as a bitch

6. whizzer brown from falsettos (specifically the 2016 revival)

reasons why i want to play this character:

HIS CONFIDENCE?? makes me skyrocket honestly

andrew rannells. that’s it

honestly would be interested in taking a gender blind take on him

could i play him?: with a binder, proper choreo, and a decent haircut sure! i surprisingly fit in the range and he’s been a dream role forever! i would do the show in the original script because his story is best told the way he is

what’s stopping me?: afab. also not jewish and couldn’t think of mischaracterizing

7. super swing from six the musical

reasons why i want to play this character:

any role in six has been a dream since i was 13! so why not dream bigger and want to cover ALL SIX!

since every queen is so diverse, i wanna have the chance to express myself in them all because honestly that would be phenomenal

in case i must reassure you, i actually can sing. and six the musical is my favorite to sing on occasion so i’m prepared

could i play this role?: in a couple years with a little experience under my belt maybe! super swings are becoming less and less of a need in theater so i’m not sure but one can hope

what’s stopping me?: too young, no super swings in the US

8. christine canigula from be more chill

reasons why i want to play this character:

christine is just like me! a neurodivergent theater lover!

she’s a ball of energy and a ray of sunshine, who wouldn’t want to play her?

i actually see myself in christine, and she’s an independent and kind and funny character i’d like to reshape

could i play her?: um? YES! no script needed, i can just jump right into it without delay, it would be fun and i have her memorized to a t

what’s stopping me?: no experience or opportunities

9. the s.q.u.i.p. from be more chill

another hear me out, y’all

reasons why i want to play this character:

gender. that’s it. it’s so gender

the pitiful children has been my favorite song from bmc the moment i first listened to it, if i could perform it once, it would be a dream

i’m an oldest sibling, i can boss people around without remorse

could i play it?: ALSO YES? lemme learn the five sentences of japanese and i will jump right in without fail. i actually have several of my own thoughts about performing as the s.q.u.i.p.

what’s stopping me?: afab (it looks like keanu reeves and i.. don’t), no experience, probably would be too excited

10. eurydice from hadestown

reasons why i want to play this character:

she’s my comfort character and her songs are so solemn and beautiful

always a pleasure being a leading lady, and having a mainly poc take on a character is always amazing

eurydice is such a complex character and i’d love to portray that

could i play her?: i’m really confident in my abilities! i sang a cover of flowers you can check out here, and it’s always fun getting to sing her lines in my room.

what’s stopping me?: well. money. and lack of experience

and that’s pretty much all of them! so there you have it!

[kcscribbler]

🤡 for the fic asks?

Legit forgot I queued this ask game like a week ago, I am the clown right now. XD

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I had a lot of fun briefly yoinking Amok Time into the AOS in this story.

“But if you were compatible. You could…take care of this, on board? And he’d be fine?”

“There would still need to be a ceremony of sorts on New Vulcan, we couldn’t disrespect the Old Ways. But it wouldn’t be a challenge ceremony since he would already be bonded to another, and he wouldn’t be in immediate physical danger aboard ship.”

Jim taps a finger against his lips. "This…mental bond-thing, what is it, exactly? It doesn't like, make you able to eavesdrop on people's thoughts or something, does it?"

She rolls her eyes. "No, Captain, it has no specifically targeted mystical voodoo powers. It's more just a sense of awareness, a knowledge of the other person's moods, feelings. Sometimes it's been said those involved can feel the location of the other party or pick up on vague thoughts and emotions, but I doubt we'd ever have been able to get that far, with Spock's unknown physiology and abilities. But I probably would have been able to sense this was happening far before it got this bad, even helped him control things until we could get to New Vulcan at least."

"So…it's not specifically a marriage bond, just more a mental anchor, like you said? A sort of sixth sense, not necessarily a sexual or romantic thing?"

"Yes, Jim." She stares at him, eyebrows raised. "Does it matter?"

He glances at the door to Spock's cabin, and for the first time feels a ray of light break through the fog of despair that has clouded their every move for the last week. It makes him almost giddy with hope, because this?

This he can fix.

"Oh, it matters. Trust me, it matters." He vaguely hears her squawk of indignant confusion as he barges through the bathroom's sliding door and into the cabin beyond. "Yo, Spock! Sit your ass down and gimme your opinion on telepathic threesomes!"

"Oh my God, what is wrong with you." Uhura's half-whimpered laugh behind him tells him she hasn't quite grasped what he's proposing, and Spock's look of bewildered shock will keep him entertained for days.

Thanks so much for the ask! :)

[therealbrainlessshow]

What if There Was a Vaccine for Jerks

In an era of Sci-Fi movies peeking into the future, wouldn't it be off the charts incredible if medical science mixed up the perfect potion to tackle the world's most abundant problem? Jerks.

Imagine a world where dirtbag behavior, the endless parade of entitled individuals and Mr and Mrs Me-Gimme-Mine, plus their four kids, could be cured with a simple shot. 

The mere thought of a vaccine that could curb snarky comments, temper tantrums, and egotistical monologues might seem too good to be true. But hey, we've put a man on the moon, so why not cure jerkiness?

Since we’re going to shoot for the moon and turn this whole thing into a new streaming channel called Utopian Vision, let’s see who would be eligible for the ultimate personality makeover?

Would it be based on a jerkometer scale?

A special selection committee analyzing butthead behavior?

We could make it into a game show where contestants debate “Who's Jerk Enough” to warrant the vaccine.

Better yet, let's just play it safe and go with the obvious choices.

Politicians, influencers, the idiot writing this article, the designer of the 737 Max or just that one person who cuts in line at the coffee shop every morning.

Now remember like any Big Pharma commercial this magical brew will come with a laundry list of side effects. 

Contact your physician immediately if you experience more than four hours of any of the following.

Increased kindness, excessive niceness or an unexpected urge to hold doors open for everyone.

There's also the risk of extreme empathy causing people to actually listen to each other. The horror.

We should also consider the potential evolution of jerk behavior. Could this vaccine trigger a mutation in the jerk genome? Suddenly we have a new strain called dipstick varmint!

Could it be we have doomed us all and the jerks will inherit the earth?

Actually they wouldn't survive alone. They need someone to unleash the jerkiness onto.

Damn and I thought we were really on to something here!

I was almost looking forward to family get-togethers, running into that buffoon from accounting in the break room and only looking at one picture of other people's kids.

But the truth is, life would be boring without a few challenging characters to spice things up.

I could possibly go through withdrawal without having somebody singing along with the song on their headphones, wearing too much cologne, talking at the movies, not letting people off an elevator before they get on, or refusing to walk single file on a crowded sidewalk.

In the meantime, keep those fingers crossed. Who knows, maybe one day, a vaccine for difficult personalities will emerge from the misty depths of scientific discovery and make the world a much more harmonious place.

But until that day dawns, keep those witty comebacks and coping mechanisms at the ready, you're going to need them.

And of course, please remember to unleash civility responsibly.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐) || sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader

(𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐)

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || your newest client asks you to give him a real challenge, and you’re happy to oblige.  

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 6.3k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || smut but no actual sex (lots of handjob stuff though and some brief oral m receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, more cnc (because of the overstimulation), bondage, edging, impact play (riding crop), brief cock torture (she just hits him with the crop a couple times), implied “kink as trauma response” (this is gonna be a theme throughout the whole fic), forced to break a rule/doomed to fail/impossible challenge (idk how to warn for this but yeah), forced voyeurism?, thigh riding (reader rides bucky’s thigh), some degradation/dumbification, brief/implied dacryphilia, a bit of angst/feelings

new parts posted on thursdays!  join the taglist here

“Can’t,” he sighed, “can’t come again.”

He looked so painfully adorable when he begged like that, his brow glistening with sweat as he jerked under your touch.  “Aw, poor baby,” you pouted, twisting your hand when it stroked over the head of his cock, “yes you can.  I know you can.  Just gimme one more.”

“F-fuck,” he whimpered, “Mistress, please— just stop, please, I can’t… can’t take any more…”

“I know you can, sweetheart— I know you can be my good boy and keep coming for me.  Tell me your color.”

“Yellow,” he whispered.

“Think you’re almost done?” you pressed, smiling when he nodded breathlessly.  “Yeah, there’s my good boy— gonna come again for your Mistress?”

“Yes,” he breathed, baring his teeth as his hips bucked wildly to try to avoid further sensation, “y-yes, one more, just one more, I’m gonna— fuck, gonna come, just don’t stop… fuck, it hurts.”

“I know, but you’re being so good for me,” you purred.  “You like it when I milk your pretty cock, don’t you?  Even though it hurts?”

He winced but nodded.  “C-coming, Mistress, fuck, I’m coming…!”

Since it was his fifth of the evening, he could only give you one thick drop of come that gathered at his slit before running down over your hand which finally slowed to a stop.

You both sighed with relief as you pulled your hand away and leaned back, admiring how beautiful he looked as he caught his breath, covered in come and sweat.

"Good job," you praised with a chuckle, "I hope I didn't go too hard on you."

"N-no, that was… that was really good," he sighed, slumping back onto the bed.  "Can I use your shower before I go?"

"Yeah, totally," you nodded.

After a long pause, you gave him a confused look.  

"I thought you were gonna shower?" you reminded him.

"Oh… I guess I have to get up for that," he sighed, making you laugh.

"Rest a bit longer.  You've had a… challenging afternoon."

He nodded a little and you got up from the bed to go wash your hands and freshen up a little, smiling at your own appearance in the mirror— sometimes you forgot how you looked when you did this, but there was an undeniable aura of power around you… especially after a session like that.

This was only your third week with James, and already the dynamic felt so natural between you— and yet, so fresh compared to your other clients.  Normally it took longer for a newbie to get comfortable with you, yet most of them had had multiple doms before and here was James, totally inexperienced and taking it all like a champ.  There was an air of innocence about him, you figured, in contrast to this undeniable strength and intensity that you caught glimpses of from time to time.

Sometimes, it felt like he was chasing an innocence he lost a long time ago.  Whatever it was that drew him to this, you were happy to help him along the way.

It was probably a little dangerous to enjoy sessions with a client so much; even though you often pretended that everything was about your pleasure and not theirs, obviously since they were the paying customer it was the complete opposite in reality.  But there was an equity to the dynamic with you and Bucky, he served you with a real dedication rather than for his own gain.  And you, meanwhile, had rediscovered the fun in this career that had originally drawn you to it in the first place.  It was less like a science now, more like an art— you let yourself go with your instincts and do whatever felt right in the moment, and both of you benefitted for it.  

“Come on, get up and clean yourself off,” you encouraged— gently, of course— as you left the bathroom and returned to find James laying sprawled out on the bed.

“I know you said falling asleep here was a one-time courtesy,” he remembered with a smile, “but I could use it now a lot more than I needed it then.”

Honestly, you didn’t see him smile that often.  It was pleasant; you hoped to see it again.  He did get up, though, and take the washcloth you handed him to wipe off the come that had gotten all over him.  “What are you thinking for next week?” you asked as you leaned against the wall.  “Any special requests?”

“We can discuss all that over the phone,” he decided.  You still didn’t understand fully why he didn’t like to discuss future scenes in person; it was like he wanted the in-person interactions to be as ‘in character’ (if you will) as possible.

“Alright, just keep me updated,” you requested with a shrug.

You got changed while he took his shower, and when he emerged to the living room he seemed surprised to see you sitting on your own couch.  After a moment, you realized it was the fact that you were in normal clothes that threw him off.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in jeans before… or pants of any kind.”

You looked down at your outfit with a smile, glad it was at least still professional and not sweats and a t-shirt or something.  “Yeah, I guess you haven’t.  First time for everything, right?”

“Yeah, had a lot of first times with you,” he chuckled.  “Most significantly less mundane than this.”

A brief silence filled the room but it wasn’t exactly awkward, at least not for you.

“Well, I’ll see you next week,” he decided as he grabbed his jacket from your chair and slipped it on.  You’d been spending most of this session trying to forget how good he looked in the leather motorcycle cut, so that was out the window now as you tried to keep from visibly biting your lip while he walked towards the door.

Damn, he was fine.  But there were more pressing matters at hand.  Like preparing yourself and your apartment for your next appointment.  This guy wanted to get slapped around until he cried… shouldn't be too difficult, but your arms would probably be sore tomorrow.

Opposite of last week, I really want you to edge me tonight, as long as possible.

Don't go easy on me, make me hold it in.  I need a challenge this week.

-J

It was odd how emails from James made your week.

He seemed to prefer to communicate his desire with you this way; maybe it was easier for him, and you couldn’t really blame him for that.  The nice part was that you didn’t have to temper your reactions, if you had any, since you were always alone when you got his messages.  You might be old hat at it now, but you could remember a time that you had to hide a grimace when a client told you to your face what he wanted.  Not that you would shame them for it or anything (unless, you know, they paid you to), but you didn’t enjoy everything you did with these men.

Did you enjoy everything you did with James?  Yes, but you were pretending not to— for your own sake.

You dressed a bit differently for today’s session, more conservatively… not that it was especially conservative by any other person’s standards.  But it left your legs and chest covered, somewhat in the spirit of ‘mean corporate businesswoman’ aesthetically.  For some reason you felt like using a riding crop required wearing pants.

James certainly didn’t seem to mind, with the way he nervously cleared his throat after you opened the door.

“Good to see you again,” you greeted formally, “please, come in.”

He stepped past you, still looking at you and not at what was in front of him, meaning he ended up slamming himself gut-first into your kitchen island.

“Oh!  Are you alright?” you smiled when you noticed. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he nodded, rubbing his stomach for a second but recovering quickly.  “I told you I can take a lot of pain,” he joked.

“Well, we’re going to put that to the test today,” you promised cryptically.  “You must’ve seen the crop on the table.”

He nodded again.  “Yeah....”

“Are you looking forward to it?”

“Yes,” he answered, a bit too quickly.

“Then let’s get you tied up, James.”

Straddling his lap, you realized the rope was a bit too tight when you saw it digging into his skin; maybe he wouldn’t mind that, but you did, so you pushed the rope back through itself to loosen it slightly.

“How long did it take you to learn all these knots?” he asked casually, watching your fingers nimbly work the ropes around his wrists.

“Not too long,” you shrugged, “I’ve only been doing this a few years… but I knew them before that.”

“Boating school?  Boy Scouts?” he suggested jokingly.

“Just a hobby,” you decided, dodging the covert question about your past.  “Were you a Boy Scout?”

“Do I look like a Boy Scout?” he countered with a scoff.

“Not anymore,” you shrugged, “but I bet you did once.  You’re sorta innocent, you know.”

He swallowed dryly, and you raised an eyebrow as you glanced from the knot you were tightening to his face, which looked a bit flustered.  “R-really?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, leaning back on your heels to look at him straight-on.  “Are you surprised to hear that?”

He nodded quickly, and you laughed.

“Aw, you thought you were so kinky, huh?  So dirty,” you purred, running your hand up his leg until he tugged slightly on the newly-tied ropes— a subtle way to get him to test them for you.  “But you’re really not.  You’re just my sweet, innocent boy.”

He whined— really, properly whined— and you dug your nails into his skin until he hissed instead.

“I don’t think you believe me,” you noticed, leaning back to reach for the crop behind you.  “You think you’re so filthy and perverted, right?  Are you a pervert, James?”

“Yes,” he breathed, shivering as you let the crop slide gently over his skin— his abs, his hips, his legs which were already quivering so adorably.  “Yes, Mistress.”

“And how’s that?”

“I think about… getting hurt,” he admitted weakly, “when I touch myself.  And I touch myself all the fucking time.”

“Yeah?  How many times a day do you stroke that pretty cock, James?”

“Twice every morning,” he blurted out, “after that it depends.”

You didn’t let yourself show your surprise at that number.  “Depends on what?”

When he hesitated, you hit him sharply on the thigh and he winced.  “Depends on what I… what I end up thinking about.  Sometimes… sometimes something reminds me, and I have to get off.”

Something told you not to press on what it was that he needed to be reminded of, and why it made him want to jerk off so bad.  Something told you he wasn’t ready to tell that story yet.  “Did you touch yourself today already?” you asked instead.

“No, no ma’am,” he shook his head, voice wavering as you brushed the crop over his chest, “it’s… it’s different with you.”

“Yeah, I bet it is,” you smirked, hitting him on the stomach quickly.  “I bet you’re finally satisfied, right?  Nothing’s ever worked for you before.”

“Yes,” he moaned, crying out slightly when you hit him on the arm (flesh— you were too afraid what sound the metal one would make) much harder than before.  “The nights I see you, I… I can sleep.”

“You sleep better?”

“No, I just… sleep.”

You tried not to react to that, moving to a new question instead.  “Do you want me to hit you again?  Or do you want me to stroke your cock for you?”

An obvious choice to some, surely, but he seemed to really struggle with it.

“Which one do you think you deserve?” you asked instead.

“Hit me more,” he decided.

Instantly, you struck him once on the face and again on the shoulder, then moved down to his legs for three in a row in spite of the way his body jerked away instinctively.  

“Fuck,” he sobbed, “don’t stop— I need more…”

You focused on his legs, on the inside of his thigh where he seemed the most sensitive.  His twisted joy turned to true fear, though, when you brushed the end of the crop over his balls.  “Do you want me to hit you here?” you challenged.

“I… I don’t know,” he stammered.

“Let’s make a deal, James,” you offered, “wherever I hit you, I’m gonna kiss it to make it better.”

“Then hit me wherever you want,” he nodded, almost smiling at you.  He cried through his teeth when you whipped his shaft with the crop— not especially hard, in fact quite delicately, though the second was harder.  And the third, though not much more aggressive, was right on the sensitive tip; his eyes shot open and his hips jerked away.

“So good, such a good boy,” you whispered proudly, putting the crop aside to lean in and kiss his cheek where you’d hit him before, his shoulder, his arm.

You worked your way down carefully as he breathed heavily beneath you, whimpering slightly when you kissed his thighs and notably ignored his flexing, leaking cock.  “Please,” he whimpered.

“Shh, be patient,” you soothed, “be my good boy.”

“Your good boy,” he repeated, trying to restrain himself but already bucking up into the air again, “fuck, wanna be your good boy, Mistress.”

“Are you already close, pet, just from getting hurt?” you asked in a faux pout.  “You’re not gonna come if I give your pretty cock some kisses, right?”

“I— I won’t come,” he promised.  “Not until I get permission.”

“Baby, it’s gonna be a long fuckin’ time before you get permission,” you promised with a toothy grin.  “Look down at me, honey, I want you to see this.”

He hesitated for a second but obeyed, looking down at you with an expression that was full of awe as you gripped his cock and gave gentle, teasing kisses up his shaft.  It bobbed in your hands with each one, and he let out the most beautiful sigh when you kissed the tip carefully.

A wide lick made him jerk beneath you.  “F-Fuck,” he stammered.

“You said you wouldn’t come,” you reminded him.  “Can I keep going?  Are you gonna be a good boy?”

“Don’t stop, please,” he breathed, “I’ll be good.”

Taking the head between your lips, you suckled gently as he shivered and moaned.  You weren’t sure you’d ever been with anybody— on or off the clock— who was so sensitive.  And you loved it, honestly; who could resist those precious noises he made?

As much as part of you wanted to go nuts and really push him to the edge, you tried to be gentle and careful so as not to make it impossible for him to hold back.  But even then, when you gently grasped his balls in one of your hands and squeezed them, he apparently couldn’t take anymore.

"S-stop," he hissed, and you pulled back, sitting up.

"You were close?" you asked, and he nodded a little.  "Oh, what a good boy."

He whimpered briefly.  "Yes, your good boy, Mistress…"

Your fingers trailed delicately up the underside of his cock, making him shiver violently.  "I know you want to come, but you want to be good even more.  You're such a sweet little pet."

It seemed like the praises did more to keep him on the edge than the touches, so you kept both going; wrapping your fingers around the ridge of his head, you gave the most gentle and subtle strokes, and leaned in to whisper against his ear.

“Is this why you wanted me to edge you today, James?  So you could show me how good you can be?” 

“I-I don’t know,” he blurted out, rocking his hips as best he could while restrained, “I just wanted to… I just wanted you to make me wait.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that,” you laughed slightly, “I can make you wait all day.  Is that what you want?”

“No, that’s— not that long, I can’t wait that long,” he shuddered.

“Mm, that sounds like your problem, not mine,” you smirked.  “Not sure why I asked what you want, honestly… cause I don’t fucking care.”

His choked-out whine was too perfect to ignore.

“Oh, what a pathetic little moan that was, poor baby,” you cooed mockingly, “are you regretting it now?  You’re probably wondering what you got yourself into, ‘cause you’re worried Mistress is never gonna let you come.”

“No, I don’t regret it,” he denied weakly, “whatever you want— do whatever you want to me, just… give me what I deserve, please.”

You stopped touching him completely and he straight-up sobbed.  “You don’t deserve anything from me, James.  You don’t deserve me at all.”

He told you before that he liked when you rapidly cycled between soft and mean.  Kept him on his toes, apparently.  Honestly, you felt a little guilty talking to him that way sometimes, but his cock leaking enough pre-cum to soak the bedsheets beneath him was a sign you were doing something right.  “I know!” he cried.  “I know, fuck, I’m sorry, but I need you.  I fucking need you, Mistress, please— you know I’ll do anything.”

“I’m feeling generous today,” you shrugged, “so I won’t ask you for much.  Just beg me a little more.”

“Please, pleasepleaseplease,” he rushed, “touch me.  Anywhere, whatever you want, I just need to feel you.  I know I… fuck, I know I don’t deserve it, but let me try to— to earn it.  Please.”

You knew if he had it his way, he wouldn’t do much talking at all.  But you couldn’t just let him have it his way, now could you?  It was better to make him just the right amount of nervous, just the slightest hair uncomfortable, by making him talk to you.  And, of course, you liked the way his deep and rough voice got all whiny and needy like this.

One finger under his chin guided him to look up at you, those pretty blue eyes watery and sparkling and wide with misplaced innocence.

“Tell me who you belong to, James,” you instructed darkly.

“You, Mistress,” he whispered, “I’m yours, I— oh fuck…”

Unshockingly, he was reduced to only moans again when you started stroking his cock, the slick precum making every movement smoother.  “All mine, huh?  My little toy?” you confirmed, but he could only nod and swallow thickly.

You sped up quickly, getting faster and faster until you were really, properly jerking him off and he was biting hard on his lip.  Just when he seemed to really fall into it, get almost comfortable, you had to stop.

"Oh, fuck—" he gasped, bucking his hips up to try to chase your hand when you pulled away, but it was no use with him tied up.  You watched his cock bob in the air and smiled.

“Did you think it was going to be that easy?” you smirked.

Shaking his head, you tilted yours to look at him, reaching up to trace your fingers over his chest.  

“Don’t lie, baby, you thought I was gonna let you come, didn’t you?  You’re so sweet, James, and so, so stupid.”

He gasped, and for a second you thought you might’ve gone too far, but it shifted to a moan quickly and you realized he was having the time of his life.

“Just my dumb, brainless little toy,” you continued with a snarl, watching him tug at the ropes as his eyes fluttered shut.  “It’s okay, James, it’s okay… you don’t need to think, I don’t want your mind.  It’s useless.  I want this pretty cock, that’s all I want from you.”

“It’s all yours, Mistress,” he promised, cheeks burning bright red and eyes forced shut.  “All of it, I swear.”

“I know,” you cooed, holding his face gently to soothe him a bit.  But then your other hand wrapped around his cock and he was anything but soothed.  “Shh, shh, don’t make any sounds, you’re just a toy and toys need to stay quiet.”

You missed his noises, actually, but he looked so cute biting his lip and struggling to suppress them.  His cock was so swollen in your hand that you honestly wondered if it was somehow getting bigger.  Was that even possible?  Your mouth was watering regardless.

“I’m gonna give you a little break,” you promised gently, “but I’ll be honest, pretty boy… I don’t think you’re gonna like it one bit.”

The look he gave you beautifully balanced fear with anticipation, and you stopped stroking him to reach over towards the bedside drawer and pull out a vibrator.

“Your Mistress is feeling a little.... self-indulgent today,” you winked.  “And since I, unlike you, don’t need to hold myself back from coming, I think I might as well get myself off if I want to.”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed dryly, watching you closely as you stood up off the bed and started to carefully undress yourself.  It was a lot more fun to get naked when you were wearing something that didn’t actually show much skin— the button-up seemed to really get him going, his tongue mindlessly darting out to lick his lips as you opened one button at a time.

Once it was off your shoulders and on the floor, and he could see the almost-transparent bra you had on, you moved to opening your trousers as well.  Just to be mean, you faced the other way as you pushed them down over your ass; you heard his breath catch and you smirked to yourself, spinning to face him again in just the matching, dark red bra and panty set.

“What do you think, do you like this better than the black ones?” you asked coyly.

“I like you naked better than both,” he answered, and you grinned.

“I’m gonna let that backtalk slide just once because it’s not worth my time to go over there and slap you for it,” you decided.  “But don’t test me, James.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he answered dutifully, sounding a bit out of breath as he watched you climb back onto the bed, positioning yourself carefully.

You faced him straight-on and laid your legs over his, meaning your lace-covered pussy was in full view and only inches from his leaking cock— the damn thing looked sore by now, purple at the tip and just as desperate for attention as the rest of him.

When you pulled the fabric aside to show him your cunt, he hissed and looked away.

“Look at me, James, keep your eyes open,” you demanded, seeing how totally wrecked he looked when he turned his head back to you and stared down at your body with half-lidded eyes.  “Look at how fucking soaked my pussy is.  You remember how it feels to be inside it, don’t you?”

He swallowed, sighed, and finally (just barely) nodded.

“You remember how hot and wet and tight it is, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” he choked.

“Well, that memory’s all you’ve got to work with, sweet boy, because I don’t think I’m ever gonna let you fuck this pussy again.”

He really, properly sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks, and those arms flexed against the ropes defiantly.  “N-no, please—” 

“I’m gonna make myself come with this,” you promised, interrupting him as you grabbed the vibe, “and I want you to remember how it feels when I come around you, okay?  

Turning it on, you wasted no time pressing it to your clit, moving the end of the toy in slow circles and keeping a close eye on him as he watched you.  Your intention had always been to give him a show, but the embarrassing thing was how little of it was an act.  Ironically, even though you’d been edging him this whole time, having to touch him that way without any pleasure for yourself was almost as torturous.  You’d soaked through your panties by the time you had him tied up, to be totally honest.  So, giving into it and letting yourself feel good was a breeze.

“Think about when I was riding you, James,” you instructed, your own voice clearly affected by your pleasure now.  “Think about how good it would feel if I let you come inside me.”

“Oh, god,” he cried, leaning his head back.

“Think about my pussy milking every fucking drop of come out of you.  You know I wouldn’t let you stop until I was completely full of your come, I bet you’d like that.  I bet you’d like to eat your come out of me, you sick little pervert.”

“Fuck!” he yelped, tugging at the ropes harder now— for a second you thought he might really break them and jump you.  And for a second, you knew you’d let him.  It made your walls clench as you imagined facing the consequences of driving a man to the brink of insanity until he couldn’t help but fuck you like an animal.  It was a good thing he didn’t see you bite your lip as you imagined that.

“You know what I’m thinking about?” you taunted.  

“God, don’t tell me,” he sighed through his teeth, but obviously you ignored him.

“I’m thinking about what a good boy you are for me,” you cooed, your hips starting to rock up against where you held the end of the vibrator; you pressed it down harder onto your clit and moaned instantly.  “Yeah, I’m thinking about how pretty you look when you’re all desperate and needy and fucking pathetic—”

“Oh—” he choked.

“My dumb litlte whore, that’s all you are, James,” you groaned.  “I know you wish you could touch me, it’s all you can think about, right?  That pretty head of yours would be completely empty if it weren’t for thoughts of me and how badly you want me.  Right?”

“Yes,” he whispered huskily.

A shiver ran up your spine when the vibrator bumped into a more sensitive part of you, and you did it again and again until you thought you might lose it a bit faster than you meant to.  “This toy feels really good,” you informed him in a purr, gasping when you slipped the vibrating body of it into your pussy, “but it doesn’t feel as good inside me as you do.”

His eyes fell shut but he still winced a bit every time you made a sound; he couldn’t run from this, no matter how hard he tried.

“Oh James,” you moaned loudly, fucking yourself with the vibe for a moment before you pulled it back out to focus even harder on your clit, “I’m gonna come.  I’m so, so close… I can feel it getting stronger, I think I might make a mess on these sheets.  And the only way I’m ever gonna let you come is if you watch me do it.  So open your fucking eyes.”

He blinked quickly as he opened them, gaze scanning your whole body before settling on your cunt; you were sure he could see it pulsing as you got closer and closer, you knew he was imagining how it would feel.  You only spared a brief glimpse at his cock, bobbing between his legs, and wished you could just slip it in you now and come while it stretched you out. 

But that wasn’t what he was here for, sadly, and you were sure you were the only being truly denied of your desires, despite how it probably seemed from the outside.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, numbness starting to tingle in your legs as your orgasm built up quicker than even you expected.  “I’m coming— James, I’m coming, oh, fuck… right there— yes!”

A gush of heat warmed your cunt at the same time that shocks ran up your spine and down your limbs; you could feel your legs shaking, and you knew he could, too.  

It got so intense for a second that you had to pull the vibrator away, though you didn’t stop coming until a few moments later, eyes falling shut without you meaning for them to.

You actually laughed a bit, breathlessly, as you turned the vibe off and set it aside, although you weren’t sure exactly what was supposed to be funny about this per se.  When you opened your eyes, you saw James looking down and looking positively defeated.  But he looked tense, too, and you sat up on your wobbly legs to get closer to his face.  

“Relax, James,” you told him firmly as you examined him.

“I— I can’t,” he whispered. 

“Why not?”

“I’ll come.”

Nothing could fight your wide grin anymore, not when you heard that.  “Oh, baby… are you about to come without even being touched?  Is that how much you liked watching Mistress come?”

He nodded, ever so slightly, and you laughed.  Not quite a mocking laugh, moreso impressed.  Prideful, even.  You leaned in to give a wet kiss to his neck, licking over his pulse as he shivered violently.

“That’s my good boy,” you whispered against his skin.  He whined and you cooed soothingly right away, “oh I know, I know.  It’s so unfair, isn’t it?  Mistress gets to come and you don’t…”

“Please,” he stammered, “I’m so close, let me come, please.”

“But I don’t wanna see you come, baby— I wanna see you cry.”

You started to slide your hand down his chest and he jumped up to attention as he tried to squirm away.  “No, please, don’t— don’t touch my cock, not if I can’t come.”

“You can hold it in, can’t you?” you pouted.

“No, I can’t, I can’t,” he sobbed, watching fearfully as your hand moved down to his stomach and over his hips.  

“But I thought you were my good boy,” you frowned, suddenly wrapping your hand tight around his cock as he choked on a gasp.

“Mistress!” he sobbed.  “Please, don’t—  don’t move your hand, I’ll come.”

"Never fucking tell me what to do," you instructed firmly, just barely stroking as he cried weakly.  "I'm gonna touch you however I want and you're not gonna come because you're my good boy, right?"

"No, Mistress, I can't stop it, I'm gonna come— stop, please…"

"You'd better not fucking come," you hissed through your teeth, speeding up your movements and watching his eyes shoot wide open, "you'd better hold it in until I'm done with you."

"I'm trying— please slow down, can't take it—"

You shook your head, tutting disapprovingly.  "No, baby, I tell you what you can take."

"Oh— oh god, Mistress, please, please stop, please, I c-can't— fuck!"

You pulled your hand away the second his cock started to flex but it was too late: come was shooting from his swollen tip and painting his chest and stomach.  You didn't even wait until he was done to backhand him across the face.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled.  "I'm so sorry, I couldn't help it…"

You softened slightly when you heard his broken voice, saw the desperation and fear on his face— it was real, more real than the fake ‘no’s and the encouraging pleas for mercy.  "Baby, it's okay, you tried so hard," you soothed instantly.

Hope filled his eyes just as much as tears as he looked up at you.  "Am I still your good boy?"

"Always," you smiled, caressing his face where it was already turning red from your slap.  

You reached down and caressed his cock with the back of your fingers, watching it flex weakly.  

“Let’s get you cleaned up, alright?”

His lip twitched, almost like a wince.  “Do we… do we have to stop?”

You quickly glanced at the clock.  “Um, no,” you mumbled, “we still have time.  Just tell me what you want.”

“I wanna watch you come again…” he admitted softly.  “Is… is that okay?”

Although you weren’t sure what you’d been expecting, you were still surprised.  “Yeah, sure.”

“But… but closer this time,” he added, “not so far away.”

You were literally laying on top of him, how did that count as far away? 

“I wanna see your face,” he clarified.

“Okay,” you nodded, deciding to indulge him.  It was sort of like aftercare, except that this wasn’t exactly the ‘after’ part yet.

On your knees beside where he was leaning back against the headboard, you slipped your hand down into the lace panties again, finding your clit still swollen but not too sensitive.  A little gasp fell from your lips when you touched it, rubbing it carefully with two fingers while he looked up at your face.  

You felt slightly exposed when he watched you this close, and you didn’t know where to look to avoid direct eye contact.  Looking at his lips was just a little too tempting, so that wouldn’t work.

“My hands are a little tired,” you explained, “they might cramp up.  Maybe I could use your thigh…”

“O-okay,” he nodded, and you removed your fingers from your panties to sit down on the thick muscle of his leg.  You felt him tense up under you slightly, and you carefully began to rock your hips until your clit rubbed just right against the inside of your underwear.  Surely he could feel how wet you were— actually, you both could hear it, almost a wet clicking-like noise as the soaked lace slid against your skin.

The dynamic shifted slightly, not that you minded it, as he watched you ride him carefully.  Just as he couldn’t hide much from you when he was naked and tied up and baring his soul to you in the kinkiest way possible, you couldn’t hide your pleasure from him when he was looking at your face so up-close.  You let your hands carefully roam his body, narrowly avoiding the trails of cooling come he’d left on his stomach and chest, until you found his strong shoulders and held onto them for balance.

“Fuck,” you mumbled to yourself, biting your lip as your sore clit throbbed against his hard, muscular thigh.  

“Will you… could you kiss me?” he requested quietly, and your heart broke a little bit.  You shook your head, and he nodded in understanding.

“I’ll kiss you here,” you offered instead, whispering against his skin before you pressed your lips to his forehead, then his cheek, then his jaw.  “Is that better, James?”

“It helps,” he agreed in a sigh.  

“I’m close,” you warned quietly, pressing your cheek to his and weaving one hand into his hair.  “I’m gonna come again, on your thigh.”

“Let me touch you,” he begged, “just a little, please…”

You nodded, about to reach forward to untie one of his hands, but he snapped the ropes and you had totally forgotten he could do that.  He quickly ran his touch all over your body, calloused hands and bound wrists in stark contrast to your soft skin.  The metal one was a little cold but it didn’t bother you; the other was almost too hot, and it was like being warmed and cooled all at once.

He ran his fingers down your spine, he gripped one of your shoulders, he rubbed your legs: he did everything he must have been wishing he could do this whole time, even gasping as he ran one hand up your chest and over a cup of your bra.  Just as you sensed that he was about to ask if he could touch you there, you nodded and felt his metal hand tug down the red lace and grab your breast— thankfully not very hard, though he did give your nipple a quick pinch which made you gasp.

Burying his face in the crook of your neck, he finally settled his hands on holding your hips, just tight enough to slightly guide your movements as you rocked faster and more desperately.  “Please come,” he begged weakly, “Mistress, please… use me.”

It sort of hit you all at once then, like a punch to the gut.  Except, you know, a lot more fun than getting punched in the gut.

“James,” you gasped, legs quivering where they straddled his as a new patch of slick soaked the lace (and presumably his thigh as well).  He held you tight, kept you moving through it while your fingers tangled in his hair and your mouth fell slack for another, louder moan.

The way his lips moved over your skin, laving your collarbones and pulse point and the innermost corner of your jaw, was positively worshipful; reverent.  “Mistress,” he whispered, almost sounding like praise but tinted with awe.  Your movements slowed down to a stop and the two of you breathed a sigh together, unintentionally.  “Thank you,” he mumbled.

“What for?” you asked, blinking quickly and looking down at him, coming back to reality (though you weren’t quite sure where else it was that you had just been).

“I dunno, everything,” he decided.

“Don’t thank me,” you smiled.  “Keep paying me, though.”

He laughed a little, glancing away.  “Yeah, and I’ll pay you back for these ropes… sorry."

"No, hey, don't be sorry," you dismissed, getting up off of his leg and standing up to go grab a towel for him.  "I'm just sorry we still haven't found anything strong enough to hold you."

"It's fine, they're strong enough to make me stop myself when I want to do something I shouldn't, that's all that really matters."

You nodded to yourself as you dampened the towel and came back to wipe him off.

"I can do that for myself," he reminded you, sounding a bit embarrassed, but you thought it was sweet. 

“You just focus on getting those ropes off of yourself,” you decided with a little smile.

[nativestarwrites]

For the Drabble challenge:

12. “How long has it been since you ate something?”

If someone has asked it, let me know and I’ll give you another one.

Thanks for the prompt! Apparently, today I'm no longer capable of writing 100 words drabbles. This is a triple drabble, 300 words exactly. Lives are on the line, and Mac pushes himself too far in the labs to find a solution. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jack!” Mac called out as he sprang to his feet. “We’ve got to--” Mac paled, blinking heavily as he stumbled into the table, steadying himself on it with a flung out hand. “Oh… head rush…” he said in a voice far too quiet for Jack’s liking.

“Whoa, hey there.” Jack wrapped a hand around Mac’s arm and settled Mac back into his chair with a hand on the back of his neck guiding his head down between his knees. “Deep breaths, bud.”

“’m okay.” Mac muttered, but took a deep breath anyway, blowing it out slowly through his mouth.

“Sure you are,” Jack humoured him as he crouched down, keeping his hand on Mac’s neck, knowing the contact would both ground him and stop him from rising. He curled his fingers around Mac’s wrist, finding a rapid but reassuringly strong pulse.

Mac had promised him when he’d left to brief Matty that he was going to take a break, grab some food, but looking at the table crowded with electronics, tools and random junk there wasn’t a trace of evidence he’d done that.

“How long has it been since you ate something?”

Mac shrugged and gave a defeated sigh, as if frustrated by his body’s betrayal over requiring something as insignificant as food.

“That long, huh?” Jack replied, keeping his tone neutral. Getting frustrated wasn’t going to help. “Okay, gimme a sec, I think Jill has a secret stash somewhere.”

Mac groaned and Jack was willing to bet he’d reached the nausea stage of hunger but as he shifted to stand, long fingers latched tightly onto his sleeve.

“We don’t have time to--”

“We make time for this.” Jack said firmly, giving Mac’s neck a squeeze. “Let’s make sure you’re okay, then we go save the world. Together.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prompt post

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

Garrett Goyle x reader

Everyone has defining features about them, they way they walk, the way they talk, the way they hold themselves in public spaces. It the land of the savages, charm and wit are powerful tools to utilise, and you’re practically oozing it. When that fails your quick-draw and itchy trigger finger can pull you out of any mess.

And one fateful day, you find a curious looking envelope in your mail box, checkered blood red and aqua blue, the handwriting with your name and address is immaculately neat and cursive. You tear into the note and find a letter, the “Slaughter Time” logo plastered across the top. Goyle has seen you, and he wants you.

Garrett rubs his hands together as he reads your reply, oh you’re gonna rake in the views. A private helicopter picks you up, its all very showy, you’re briefed by a G03LM, teaching you of some of the backstage intricacies.

“You’ll take centre stage, Goyle will ask you a few titbits about yourself, something to get the audience hyped and rooting for you. You’ll then come back off stage, get kitted up with whatever weapons your heart desires, and have a body camera and microphone added. Standard stuff. And then it’s Slaughter Time, and should you survive, you’ll join the honorary ranks of your predecessors in the Hall of Fame, followed by an exit interview with Goyle.”

Butterflies tickle your innards as you step into the building, there’s already the roar of an expectant and rowdy crowd, begging for bloodshed, crying for carnage, screaming for suffering. You were hyped, walking out on the stage to cheers for your introduction.

“And here they come now, give it up for our next guest,” Garrett introduced you. “Some of you know of ‘em, the wicked wonder from the west, glorious grey gunslinger, monarch of misery. Now now, do tell me about yourself, my friend. What brings you here today, other than to meet yours truly.”

“Where to start? I’ve been a long time fan of the show, must’ve seen every episode thus far at least three times, and have desired to join the champions. It helps of course that I do get the chance to meet you, Garrett.” The G03LM laughed heartily.

“What do we think of them folks?” Erupting applause and cheers rang out. “Sounds like our next hall of fame contender, yes?”

“Oh I hope so,” You replied, leaning into the mic. “as much as I love our previous champions, I came here today to put 'em to shame. Gimme everything you’ve got Garrett, I’ll wipe the floor with them, and then some.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear, you’ve got the spirit for it, you can talk the talk, but talk’s cheap. Time to walk the walk, go on and get ready, becaaaaaauuse-”

“IT’S SLAUGHTER TIME!” The audience finished the catchphrase, and you skipped back off to your changing room. The attending staff waited for you to get ready, strapping you with a microphone and body camera. “Try not to get too much gore in them, it’s a pain to switch them out between waves. Good luck.”

The audience watches on awestruck as you mow down wave after wave, barely taking a second to breathe and recover. “Such inhuman speed, such gory grace, a murderous marvel,” Garrett narrates all the while. Oh yes, you’re as skilled as people said you were, and seeing it in action was astounding. You were cutting wave upon wave down without breaking a sweat, he was indeed impressed.

“C'mon Garrett, I said gimme everything. You’re holding back on me. Give me a real challenge.” The crowd yelled in support, you really knew how to get em fired up, feeding off each other’s energy, Goyle could see potential in you.

“Give 'em everything, now. I don’t think I’ve seen a crowd so wild, not since the very early days.” You valiantly took it all, slashing and shooting, never once faltering, never taking a hit. Every kill sent a cheer through the audience, especially when you began showing off, some would call it cocky, but your fans lapped it up.

“Now THIS is more like it.” And it was in that moment he knew, if you won-no-when you won, he couldn’t let you go. You matched him like no other, everyone was desperate to see your next move, hear your next quip, you were damn perfect for this show.

[Bonus]

Years had gone by, the world had gone to hell in a hand basket, but you were a survivor, through and through. Nothing on this barren earth could keep you down. “HEEEEY- YO-YOU.”

You could see a zed dressed as a clown come sprinting up to you, and you were prepared for a fight. “CLOWN KNOWS YOU. YOU DID SLAUGHTER TIME- YEAH! CLOWN LOVED YOU.” He stuffed his hand into his lab coat pocket and pulled out a notebook.

“CAN CLOWN GET AN AUTOGRAPH?”

[bookofmirth]

The people who say El/riel and Vas/sien are already in love... I don't get them.

Why would you want then to fall in love off page? Where's the part Lucien fell in love with Vassa? Where is the part Azriel fell in love with Elain? If they're already so in love or at least have such deep feelings for each other then how boring would their book be?! Just them f*cking, do some political stuff here and there, f*cking again til they finally confess? Uhh... a little boring, man.

I want to see Gwynriel having these meaningful and freshly conversation (nigthly) where they laugh, and heal together. I wanna see them slowly falling in love and Azriel to go like "Oh sh*t... what is this feeling??" when he sees Gwyn in a whole new light (after he fought most of his demons). I want them to be sooo competitive- I imagined them to share Azriel's chambers and most of the time they just argue about nerdy stuff like astronomy. I also imagined that one night when Gwyn challanges Azriel again, he brings her to Ramiel and thats where they privatly train every night. I want to laugh, cry, yell and die.

I want so see Elain being the biggest brat around Lucien and him the most sarcastic and annoying af fox around Elain. *Give me the Nick x Judy vibes!* I want to see the ANGST. I want Elain and Lucien to scream at each other- especially Elain. All their anger out. When it's all out, I hope it is the best feeling Elain ever had and then she just sits there silently next to Lucien in comfortable silence. I want Lucien to hold himself cause he still can't let go of Jesminda and feels so guilty (even though it breaks my heart), I want this slow- burn soooo bad. Then later on I wanna see them insult each other (but in a good way): imagine they go to a ball and Elain looks at Lucien, Lucien looks at Elain and they both think "god- she/he looks so beautiful tonight" but they say instead "You look ugly" "your breath stinks" as a lie. And they just insult and challange each other and *my god*.

Banter and angst for Gwynriel and Elucien, babe. Gimme the slow burns.

I would've been so mad if Gwynriel and Elucien fell in love off page like tf?!

The thing is, there are clear indications that Lucien is pining for Elain, and that Gwyn is interested in Az. We've been told these things in everything except for neon yellow signage. But we know that nothing is happening yet, because the whole point is that we get to see it happen on the page.

The whole point of romance, which is a huge part of this series, is to see that process in action. The entire point is to watch characters get over whatever hangups they have and grow closer, until they get that "oh shit" moment. The assumption that e*riel or vucien have had that off the page is??? It doesn't fit with how this series has been written, and if I shipped either of those ships then I would be mad! Because that's the whole point!!!!

I love the way you described both those ships' dynamics, and that's totally how I see them. Gwyn and Lucien are going to challenge their partners in such unexpected ways. Gwyn is irreverent and that's what Az needs. She's never looked at him like a big scary Illyrian, she doesn't take him too seriously. And she needs someone who will support her no matter what decisions she makes about her future.

Imagine when Lucien finally realizes that he can talk to Elain however he wants and he makes her laugh for the first time, or oh my god the first time he makes her smile? And they just exchange a look like "this is okay. This is better than okay."

[kikisfuneralservice]

SHINEE MEMBERS’ REACTION TO BEING IN A CLUB

hello hello!! this is my first official post that i hope reaches its target audience! all of what i plan to write will be ot5, AS WELL AS IT IS A WORK OF FICTION. like i said, this blog is ot5, so i will write for all five members!!

this is for shits and giggles only!!! just goofin’ around, so nothing serious! :)

enjoy and maybe leave a like if you did! :)

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND NONASSOCIATIVE TO ANYTHING SHINEE OR SM ENTERTAINMENT: THIS IS PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY**

ONEW (JINKI)

is not a party animal

actually just doesn’t go to parties at all

he just prefers staying inside with a nice book and a cat on his lap ok!!!!!!

is the friend who follows you around bc he doesn’t know where to go or put his hands so they swing awkwardly by his sides

“it’s so loud in here! how can you hear anything??”

it’s ok babe :(

is not really having fun until his Song comes on

like HIS Song

that song is gimme more

sry i headcanon jinki as a britney fan

absolutely in his own WORLD busting a fucking move without a care in the world

GONE after one shot

after this, he only trusted water

JONGHYUN

immediately heads to the bar

nothing wrong with that

mans just likes a good drink

he doesn’t pre game he just drinks steadily the whole time until he’s woozy and he’s suddenly dancing to the sound of drunk girls screaming

WILL NOT PARTY SOBER

a party is not a party unless at least everyone is slightly tipsy

requests old fall out boy songs bc why the fuck not

is disappointed when it doesn’t play and instead they play despacito

“look i don’t have a PROBLEM with it, but i just think we need a change of pace”

always has a pep in his step

so SO talkative

which actually makes you wonder if he was sober in the first place

suddenly he’s best friends with everyone

promises to every person he meets to hang out later

(he doesn’t; he forgets and wakes up with a hangover)

KEY (KIBUM)

most DEFINITELY pre games

he pre games for everything basically

life is a party, bitch.

“this is a 5 year old’s bday-“ who tf cares will there be beer?

is the one who sneaks in a flask bc shit is way too expensive in there

“WHY IS THE MUSIC TRASH IN HERE?”

has no filter once he’s drunk

well he’s already drunk before he comes in

will be dancing the whole time even when there’s no music playing

at this point his brain is made of static

the definition of i’m not as think as you drunk i am

a heavyweight but also a poor decision maker as well

living his best like tbh

go, kibum, go!!!!!

MINHO

does not care for clubs that much but will go when asked

“i’ll just be your eye candy”

ends up being the life of the party instead

things never really go as planned with him

is a master at beer pong when given the opportunity

also busts a fat move on the dance floor

will break it down to cardi b like his life depends on it

thinks he has megan thee stallion style knees but ends up twisting his ankle instead

will challenge you to see who can drink the most shots

(he wins)

(and he’ll remind you about it for the rest of the night)

(or week)

a bit of a lightweight but doesn’t act like it

TAEMIN

also a bit of a lightweight and it’s VERY obvious

a bit nervous at first

just the jitters that’s all

hand him a drink when he walks in and he’ll ease in more

once he eases up, he is active for the rest of the night

will dance to ANYTHING

the personal favorites are always shakira

i’m not gonna make the hips don’t lie joke but alas, it is implied

very impressionable

IS the mood maker he sets the tone of the room

is very friendly and open to meeting new people

LOVES to chat

talks extremely fast when drunk so no one can tell what the fuck he’s trying to say half the time, but it’s the enthusiasm that counts

—

thank you so so much for sticking around!!!!!! it means the world to me!

i feel very excited to get back into writing, so please suggest some content if you would like!