#it looked much nicer when j typed it out

[aures-fantasy-nook]

HP characters when their s/o's tired

DISCLAIMER: I do not support JK Rowling :)

also! accepting requests so please send them. drabble or headcanon requests prefered but if something perks my interest you might get more lmao- anyways this took so long, lmk if you want any other characters you want for this

Lightning Era:

Harry

honestly clueless

kid wasn't socialized at a young age

basically you either have to be asleep or tell him

lets say you fall asleep on him

freezes

harry.exe has stopped working

honestly tho he's probably vaguely confused

like he was just having a conversation with you

and now you're asleep??

heh??

next thing running through his mind is how cute you are

i mean he mainly sees you during like class and stuff

rarely does he see you as relaxed as you are asleep

he's kinda in love or something idk

looks to Hermione for help

she doesn't help him at all

eventually shakes you awake

makes you go to bed earlier than him tho

makes sure you get there safely

honestly thinks about the situation for the next week

at some point tells you that you can sleep on him whenever

#--#

Ron

another clueless boy

honestly no ones fault except for his

he’s just Ronald what else can I say

anyways

someone probably points it out that you're asleep

that someone is probably Hermione

kid doesn't even know what to do

like stares and kind of zones out

will wake you up

probably kind of makes fun of you

I mean kid comes from a big household of course he does

jokes about how late you stay up like he doesn't also stay up late

if you get pouty he'll melt and like escort you back to his dorm

i guess you're both skipping class

#--#

Hermione

the best one here

knows all of the signs of you getting tired

immediately suggests you go take a nap if possible

if you randomly get tired like midday?

she's checking in on you in between classes

will share notes with you if you're too tired to take them

only if she knows you got a good nights sleep the night before

or were up like her studying or working on essays

work is always an excuse for tiredness

will give you power snacks

if you're a coffee drinker-

will let you drink coffee later than usual only to stay awake

she usually cuts you off at lunch :(

overall she's supportive and here to help

unless you stayed up doing something dumb, you're on your own then :))

#--#

Draco

notices and literally does nothing /j

for real though he won't like make a big deal out of it or anything

if you guys are in class he'll notice but not

makes sure to make an extra copy of notes for you though

if its just like at the dining hall or like in the common room tho

he's nicer when you guys are more secluded

will like push your head on his shoulder or like tell you to sleep on him

might lightly scold you

but overall very sweet about everything

if its late he'll straight up just take you to his dorm to go to bed

like he changes and has some of your pj's in his room

pretty much cuddle town

he might read to you and play with your hair if he's not super tired

that's the real treat tbh

#--#

Fred

this mf

honestly mean about it

will 100% make fun of you

you cannot tell me that this boy wouldn't

he might be cute but he's an asshole

especially during classes

he will throw paper balls at you if he notices you dozing off

will not help you with academics at all

if you miss it you miss it ig

if you guys are in the common room he's nicer

will sneak you coffee out of the kitchens

doesn't really like to cuddle during the day

yk he has too many pranks to pull and plan

but he will let you like cuddle him while he plans with George

I feel like if its late though he'll not hesitate to sleep

like I feel like once he gets tired he's gone

so if your both tired be happy cause you're getting your way :)

#--#

George

he's nicer than his brother but not that nice

will still mock you but if he sees you getting tiredly upset??

its over- he's done teasing and he's hugging you

will be the type to drop everything and nap with you

if you're tired during classes?

he's carrying your books

making sure you're staying awake

at least enough to be able to do the homework later

he's honestly really sweet about stuff

will let you skip dinner to nap and then bring you food later

or maybe even sneak you into the kitchen later

also if you're a coffee addict

like myself

best boyfriend ever

will give you coffee and makes it perfectly every time

doesn't have the heart to cut you off at anytime

honestly though I love him a lot :)

#--#

Oliver

this little shit

omg

he really needs to not

he's one of those people who like never sleeps but is never tired

just because he's so busy

like mans is a good student

he's also committed his life to quidditch so

he doesn't get much sleep

will often make you stay up with him

and then gets confused as to why you're tired

literally does not have a single clue

he will get you coffee if you want it

he likes to do things for you so he babys you when you're tired

another one that carries your stuff for you

wont let you slack off though

you're doing all of your own work

but of course he'll help you, he just might give you shit for it

overall sweet but clueless

[whitevelvet-ly]

polaroid pictures

PAIRINGS: aether x reader, kaeya x reader, venti x reader, scaramouche x reader

HEADS UP: gn!reader, romantic, slight crack, probably a modern au unless you imagine the pictures were taken from kameras instead, headcanons

A/N: I'm running out of ideas HAHAHAHA

SUMMARY: the types of pictures he takes of you.

AETHER

⇒ this man takes the most breathtaking, jaw-dropping, gorgeous, awe-inspiring, eye-widening, and spectacular pictures of you. ever.

⇒ every photographer on teyvat be jealous rn /j

⇒ aether thinks you're very beautiful, and his photos reflect that perfectly

⇒ he'll often take pictures of you even when you notice

⇒ if you tease him about it he'll start becoming shy but smile and still do it

⇒ even though you notice sometimes, he prefers it if the photo is natural

⇒ his photographs usually consist of you walking around, staring off into the distance, or smiling and laughing

⇒ will he show them to you? yes; if you ask

⇒ so yes, basically he's your paparazzi

KAEYA ALBERICH

⇒ kaeya doesn't take as much pictures as aether does.

⇒ he still has pics of you though

⇒ you know what his gallery shows? ugly candid photos of you

⇒ but he listens to your begging and doesn't show anyone HAHA

⇒ don't worry though, he doesn't just have those photos

⇒ almost a third of his gallery are those kinds of photos, but he also has nicer photos of you in the rest

⇒ mostly consists of you talking to someone, reading books at a library, bird-watching, and all the little things

⇒ he uses those pictures to show you off hehe

⇒ will he show them to you? yes, but the goofy photos only 🤭 but if you mention the other photos he'll show them to you

VENTI

⇒ I think you already know what venti's pictures of you look like

⇒ gallery is full of zoomed in pics of you

⇒ menace

⇒ takes a photo of you even when you lunge at him 😁

⇒ if you have a resting b face, he will zoom into your face and take a picture 24/7

⇒ he will take every chance to take goofy pics of you

⇒ has a bunch to show you

⇒ as compensation he also takes pics of himself and shows them to you

⇒ does bird eye views on top of his forehead and below his chin

him:

⇒ will he show the pics he took of you? definitely, even out of nowhere

⇒ anyway, so my point is: a goofy man takes goofy photos

SCARAMOUCHE / WANDERER

⇒ no.

⇒ scaramouche will never take photos of you

⇒ that's what he says

⇒ his gallery is actually sprinkled with lots of pretty pictures of you here and there

⇒ it's like a hobby for him to take photos of you without you looking

⇒ but if find you out that he does have photographs of you he has stupid pics just in case

⇒ will he show you the pics? no. absolutely not. shan't.

⇒ when you try to get a glimpse of his gallery he will punch you so don't even try /j

[ashes-writing]

outer banks ● one girl two guys pt. 4 ● j. maybank + t. thornton

warnings

angst / hurt comfort / fluff. Complicated relationships, reader/you does not get along with Kiara Carrera at all, mentions of reader/you having a not so great home life, 🍃 and alcohol + confrontations, partying and potential violence between characters, eventual filth.

<- reader is female. vague descriptors including hair/clothes/body parts and personality traits, possibly a nickname or petname.

word count

4008 exactly. Welcome to part 4, babes. pt 3 is ( here ) for missing context.

y'all are gonna be so tiredt of this i s2g, but i'm having a blast. i've never played around with this type of scenario before.

summary

( continued from here, a few days later )

Two guys, one girl. There's no way this is gonna go painlessly, right? Who will you wind up with by the end of it all, Kook or Pogue? How much will you lose along the way?

taglist

-- if you'd like to be added to it, my taglist for all things OBX is (here). LMK or add yourself by clicking.

@tbmunson you knew you were getting tagged in this bestie. we love these two idiots, I had to do it.

@valentineshiftz

@writingreadinglurkingandsmirking

other links

masterlist ● jjs masterlist ● topper's masterlist ● about + rules

JJ spots you sitting in the sand,your knees drawn up and the wind blowing your hair. He pauses and takes a  deep breath. Does a quick look around as jealousy floods him at the thought he’s having about the way Topper Thornton is always lingering close by to you lately. A fat raindrop makes contact with his skin as he wanders over and flops down, sitting beside you wordlessly.

“Hey.” 

You jump a little because you were lost in your own mind and you didn’t hear or see JJ when he wandered up and sat down. You take a sip of the Dr. Pepper sitting next to you and shift your gaze from the choppy water over to JJ.

“Hey.” you finally respond.

JJ takes another deep breath. “I know you’re mad..” he starts. Goes quiet. Takes off his baseball cap and drags a hand through platinum colored hair. He glances over at you and then continues, “I know, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t say something. I was just kind of worried about you.”

You look up, raising the Dr.Pepper bottle to your lips. JJ shifts around the way he’s sitting as blue eyes catch on the way your mouth looks wrapped around the opening in the bottle. He coughs abruptly. You still haven’t said anything to him beyond the quiet Hey a few seconds ago. And his stomach is churning, it’s doing lazy flips inside him.

“See, here’s the thing.” you place the bottle back down in the sand next to you. “You really weren’t. I think you spent the whole time we talked prodding me about Topper and asking me to be nicer to Kie.. Or am I remembering wrong?”

“I asked how your mom was! You’re the one who told me everything was fine. I’m not a mind reader, ___.” he fumes, words dying away on his lips as soon as he looks at you and it sinks in just how much you're hurting lately. And he's angry with himself because it's mostly his fault.

“And you weren’t a jerk either. You’re changing, okay? It hurts.” you interrupt before you can stop yourself. 

“I’m not though.” JJ insists. "I've just been busy. There's been a lot going on, damn it."

Yeah, you think, a lot of stuff that you're shutting me out of when you normally wouldn't. 

Instead of saying it out loud, you shove the thought down. Go quiet for seconds that feel like hours to him as he's sitting there, taking a deep breath. Staring out at the water and trying like hell to keep from letting himself look like a bitch and start crying.

“You haven’t asked if I wanted to hang a single time since..” you raise a hand, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “I wish I’d never gotten high with you guys that night and acted like that. You’ve been distant and cold since. I was stupid.”

“No..” JJ protests, going quiet. Because you’re not wrong, it was awkward. It was awkward in the sense that he hadn't known what to do or how to respond when it happened. This didn’t mean he didn’t want you being affectionate towards him or that he didn’t like it or anything like that, it just felt.. Wrong at the time. And just having that thought feels so bad, it’s so hard for him to have. He doesn’t want it, it feels intrusive.

But then he thinks about watching the sun set with Kie the night before when you bailed on him at the last second. Fair enough, he’s aware that he bailed on you most of the summer. And he hasn’t been telling you anything that’s gone on, you freaked out when he went missing, only to have him return and not offer any sort of explanation.

He knows he’s one thousand percent in the wrong.

He knows he’s been a shitty best friend. He knows he’s pushing you further and further away but he doesn’t know how to stop it from happening.

“It’s not that, okay?” he’s looking at you, you’re looking at choppy water. You shrug. “It’s really not a big deal. If you’re out here to ask if I’m okay with you and Kie, I don’t care. It’s  your life, JJ.”

The whole time you’re saying it, you can feel your stomach churn. You can feel the bitterness in your mouth because you don’t mean a single word of what you’re saying to him. You want to be angry, you want to scream, to make a scene, to finally be brave enough to tell him what you’ve already tried and failed at showing him.

Most of all, you want this nagging feeling in your gut that you’re losing him to leave entirely. You want your sunshine boy back. The one who wants to be around. The one who doesn’t keep secrets or leave you out of things just because they might be a little ‘too dangerous’.

“You don’t..” JJ trails off. Tenses up slightly. “You don’t mean that. Just do it already. Get pissed. Do something, ___ because this isn’t like you, cupcake.”

“Maybe I’m tired, JJ. You can only fight the current so long before you drown. Maybe I’m just ready to drown.”

“That’s fucking morbid.” JJ mumbles. And he glances over at you, concern in baby blue eyes. Your ocean eyed boy and your heart is breaking when the thought comes because you knowit’s happening. You’re losing him. One day, maybe not long from now with the way things are going to hell in a hurry, you’ll see him in the street and you won’t even acknowledge. 

His next question makes you laugh to yourself quietly and turn to look at him with a brow raised when he asks, “You don’t.. Like you don’t wanna die or somethin..”

“What the hell? No. No, JJ, I don’t want to die. I’ve got too much spite in me for that?” you laugh softly. “It was a metaphor. Just a metaphor.” and you go quiet again. Digging your toes into cool, damp sand.

“If she really makes you happy, go for it.”

“I think she might.” JJ answers quietly. “Can’t you give her a chance? You guys used to be best friends.”

“Nope. That ship sailed. It sailed when her mom had to go butting in. She’s the reason I nearly had to go live with the old man over in Figure 8.. Or did you forget? And Kiara’s the one who put her up to calling in the first place.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I have a feeling.”

JJ grumbles quietly. In a sour mood now, he asks with a scowl, “Where’s your appendage today, huh? Over on Figure 8? Golfing? Whatever the fuck it is they do?”

You roll your eyes and shrug. “Topper comes and goes when he wants. It’s not like I’m his girl or something. He doesn’t own me and I don’t own him.”

JJ looks at you. “Are you trying to say something?”

“Nope.” but he knows damn well you are. He knows that sometimes he was possessive. A little bit too overprotective when it came to you. Because it caused clashes so many times over the course of your friendship.

It never bothered you before though. You told him once that you liked it. Then after certain things went down and he tried acting like everything was normal and it felt too weird to do.. He just kind of stopped.

He’s wondering if it bothers you.

“I’m sorry. I mean it. I’ll be around more, alright? You’re not going to lose me, ___. You’re stuck with me.” he chuckles as he looks at his hand. “Blood pact.”

You manage a weak laugh and you shrug. “Things have to change sometimes, JJ. It’s okay. I’m okay. You’re with Kiara now, you should enjoy that. Enjoy her.” but what you aren’t saying is that you won’t be around to bear witness because you refuse to subject yourself to it.. Or to her. Because you can’t stand her and you’re not going to pretend otherwise. It’s bad enough that you do it for the sake of a job that puts food on the table and occasionally, pays whatever bill your mom magically forgets.

“But you’re my best friend. And I care about you too.”

“I know, JJ. I know you do.”

“I haven’t acted like it lately.” JJ admits, dropping his shoulders slightly. You lean back, propping elbows in the sand. “It kind of goes two ways though, doesn’t it? I could’ve reached out sooner, I know where you live, it’s just..” you go quiet and shake your head. “Nothing. It’s dumb and I’m not gonna be like her.”

“What? Tell me, ___.”

“You’ve been busy a lot lately. With John B and Pope. And I didn’t want to bother you with the stupid bullshit that’s been going on? Because it’s not different  than it was or anything, so there wasn’t any need to bother you. I just.. You could’ve asked me to help too.”

“It was too  dangerous and you know it.”

“I’m not a child, JJ.” you rub the bridge of  your nose and laugh a little. “It kind of feels like you just wanted to leave me out. Because things got weird.”

JJ mulls it over. “Whatever you think.”

“I’m not wrong. Look,we’ve both been shit at the best friend thing lately. Not just you.”

“I could’ve come by.”

“You could’ve let me know you were alive when you took off and went missing too. I was worried sick. Then you come back and it’s like.. Nothing. Not a word.”

JJ stretches and leans back with you. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” you mumble, falling silent again.

“You’re not seriously into Topper…” he asks, going quiet. Staring at you expectantly. Waiting on an answer.

You shrug. “I don’t know, okay? He’s nice.”

JJ scoffs at this. “He’s an asshole. He jumped Pope.”

“I know. Why the hell do you think I’m not all over him? Because I’m not lying when I tell you that physically, the attraction is there. But then I think of all the shitty things they’ve done to us in the name of some stupid ages old feud.. And I dunno, okay?”

“So you’d fuck him?”

“You don’t want an answer to that, JJ.” “Actually, I do.”

You take a deep breath. “Probably. Doubt that’s what he wants though. Can we talk about anything else? I’m not asking you if you want to fuck Kie, am I?”

“Nope. But this is different. He’s one of them, cupcake. Kie isn’t.”

“But here’s the thing, JJ.. Technically, she’s as much one of them as Topper.”

“She’s not.”

“Whatever, JJ. I’m not fighting with you. If you want to fight, go find somebody else, okay? I’m tired.”

And there’s something about the way you say it that has him moving to sit closer. Slipping an arm around you and pulling you against him til you can smell the faint sweat and saltwater in his skin and hair. You know you need to pull away but you can’t because it hits you how bottled up you’ve kept everything and JJ’s just letting you rant and rave, an arm around you as he listens.

For a minute, it feels like nothing’s changed.

This all changes when Kie clears her throat. She gives you a slight glare as you pull away from JJ and wipe at your eyes while standing. “I’m going to go now, JJ. See you around.”

As soon as your gone, Kiara folds her arms and pouts up at JJ. “What the hell was that about? Did she say anything about why she’s so angry at me lately?”

“Not a word, babe.” JJ watches you walk away and Kiara notices. Sighing to herself. Upset because she’s starting to realize that sooner or later, she’ll either lose JJ to you or JJ won’t have his best friend anymore because you’ll move on. Distance  yourself from him. From all of them, probably.

And it really bothers her because she never meant to cause any of this. All she wanted to do was be with JJ.

“This isn’t your fault, Kie. She’s been like this all summer, okay?” JJ mutters, managing a smile, slipping an arm around her. “C’mon. Let’s go surf or something.”

But he catches sight of you as you disappear into the dive you like to play pool and darts in and he's wondering if any of what's happening is right. Is he making a big mistake? 

—

"Damn, girl."

You roll your eyes and just as the asshole reaches for a handful of your ass, a throat clears from behind you. 

"Hey, didn't anybody tell you to keep your hands to yourself?" Topper’s looking at the older man in disdain, arms folded over his chest.

"Top.." you start, but you're too tired to insist that this is strictly a you problem, after all you're the one who turned in forged papers to get a job working the bar in the first place. And something tells you if you were to point that out, he'd still do it.

And maybe deep down, you like it. It feels nice to let someone else handle something instead of doing what you normally do and just handle it yourself.

"This your man?"

"Well-" you start to say he's not but he speaks up in a hurry. "As far as you're concerned, yeah.. yeah I am."

The man scowls about Topper’s answer and Topper smirks, giving you an amused shrug as he walks away, disappearing into the crowd in the back.

You put it down to another chance encounter and you assume he's long gone but as you make your way through a crowd so thick you almost can't breathe, hands grab you by the hips and you're standing out in the alley behind the bar before you can even process. 

"Hey. Easy. It's just me." Topper could see you about to react like you would if a stranger grabbed you and he wants to calm you down. You let your head roll back and lean against the wall as you catch your breath.

 "It's a madhouse in there, huh? How are you even working here?" Topper asks, stepping up into you. He shields the flame to your lighter as you light your cigarette. You shrug. "I know people, lets leave it at that.. It's this or live without electricity for a while." you laugh quietly, "but I'm fucking exhausted."

You step away from him a little so the smoke doesn't smother him. 

"I figured you left." you speak up after a long pause. Topper watches as you thump your cigarette towards a puddle nearby and then he looks up, locks eyes with you. 

"I was going to. Then I remembered how many times a week Peterkin gets called down here. I didn't wanna leave you alone in this crap."

You exhale and it's shaky. Squeeze your eyes shut as you lean against the wall to rest a little. Your ass is numb from the amount of times some overgrown frat boy masquerading as a man has grabbed it tonight.

You hate this job already but you hate the prospect of asking anybody for anything even more, especially if that somebody happens to be the rich asshole who fathered -and totally fucked up at raising- your mom. 

"Are you okay,___?"

"I'll live." you let Topper pull you off the gravel where you'd sank down to sit on the ground. When he pulls you up it puts you pressed up against him and you melt into him even more. You're exhausted, you're dead on your feet and there's a whole hour left in your shift to go yet.

Topper tries to stop himself but he can't. An arm wraps around you. You don't even try to get distance between you. "You smell so good." it slips out before you can stop it and you want a hole to open up and suck you down. You don't dare look up at him, you can't. 

He chuckles. "Thanks." but what he manages to stop himself from saying back is that he's breathing in the sweet berry scent of your drugstore shampoo and it's soothing, it's the sweetest scent he's ever smelled and it's you. 

Someone hisses your name and you pout at the idea of pulling away and going back into the madhouse.

"I'll hang around.. take you home."

"Top.." you start to protest but you're too tired. And you know it'll be late when your serving shift ends and you'll be twice as dead on your feet than you are now by then. "Don't get in trouble because of me, please?"

Topper chuckles quietly. "I won’t. It's not a big deal."

"Okay. Alright. But if you wanna leave before then, it's okay." you insist. You don't want to make him think he's obligated and you definitely don't want to get too used to him.

You don't want to get too used to him because it'll only hurt in the long run. It always hurts. The thought has you flinching and he notices, studying you intently. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Totally." you make yourself smile at him and just hope that he believes it.

"You're sure?" he's stepped into you. When the guy who works the kitchen clears his throat Topper gives him a calm glare. "She'll be inside in a minute, man. Give her a fucking minute."

You raise up a little, a fist caught in the front of his designer polo. "I better get in there. Listen, if you wanna leave, it's okay, I get it."

As you disappear into the building, he leans against the brick wall and takes several ragged breaths, an attempt to pull himself together.

"Well..if the goal was to stop myself from getting too into her, that's gonna backfire." he muses to himself as he walks over to the door of the crowded bar and steps inside. Finds himself an empty booth in the back and then he waits.

As the end of your shift approaches, you find yourself stopping. Glancing around the bar. When you see no sign of Topper Thornton sitting at any of the tables in your station, you sigh and laugh at yourself, shaking your head.

By the time you’ve clocked out and you’re saying a quick goodbye and thanking the owner for letting you pick up a busy shift for tips, you’re pretty sure Topper’s been gone for a while. But the second you step out of the bar and pause beneath a streetlamp to light up a cigarette, you catch sight of him, leaned against the driver side of his Jeep.

Topper catches sight of you and starts to make his way over, coming to a stop in front of you. “Hey.”

“Hey.” you’re laughing quietly. “You didn’t have to stick around and wait.”

“I told you I was going to.”

You shrug. You almost argue that what he’s doing, consistently promising things and actually holding true, it’s not something you’re that accustomed to. But you don’t. Instead, you smile and nod. “I’m glad this is a one night a week gig. If I did this every night, I’d probably die.”

“Tired, huh?”

“Exhausted, man.” you answer, exhaling deep. “You’re sure you won’t be in deep shit for waiting? I.. I don’t want to be any trouble or anything, okay?”

“For the last time, ___. I told you I was going to. It’s not any trouble, alright?” Topper insists, studying you for a few seconds. He steps up into you and a hand lingers at your hip. Your breath hangs in your throat and you try to remind yourself that if anything, this is a summer fling at best. That he’s a Kook and you’re just a girl from the wrong side of the island. That he’s probably bored, he’s probably just looking for something to salvage what’s left of his summer.

Or maybe the girls over in Figure 8 really are all that boring, stupid and toxic. All you really have to judge by are Kiara and Sarah Cameron, who you barely know and are intent on keeping it that way. So, maybe they’re all just snakes.

“What’s that look for, ___?” Topper asks as the two of you make your way back across a gravel parking lot to where he’s parked his idling Jeep. He opens the door for you on the passenger side and you climb in. He leans in across you, pulling the seatbelt over you and fastening it. And as he straightens, there’s this second or two where you’re nose to nose and you’re lost in the multi-hued depths of his eyes with the scent of whatever designer cologne he wears that smells yummy enough to eat. He bites his lip and you try to  swallow down a lump in your throat. You remind yourself again that he’s a Kook and you’re not.. And if he’s anything like your Pogue friends, that loyalty is stronger than anything else.

The overhead light bathes your face in a dim glow and Topper’s staring. Hard. He’s leaning in before he can stop himself and as soon as he realizes what he was just about to do, he raises a hand and smoothes some hair out of your face to tuck behind your ear gently instead. “What’s on your mind?” he questions, because you’ve yet to answer his question. “Something was funny, you looked like you wanted to laugh.”

You swallow hard again and shrug. “Nothing. Maybe I’m just surprised you were actually still hanging around.”

When you say it, he chuckles quietly. And on the inside, he feels just a little angered and annoyed by everybody who has ever told you one thing and done the opposite. But it’s something he identifies a little too heavy with himself, especially Sarah, he thinks to himself, I would’ve done anything for her, she couldn’t love me and I doubt she even tried. 

“I told you I would. I meant it.”  Topper answers quietly and you nod. Raising a hand to fluff the front of his hair. “Yeah. You did.” you answer, going quiet. He closes your door and makes his way around to the driver side of the Jeep, getting in. And the drive back to your house is quiet. The silence is a little heavy, you notice but you keep the observation to yourself. 

As you pull to a stop in front of your mother’s house, you take a deep breath. “This is me, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for the um.. The lift.” you smile as you say it, lingering in the passenger door of his Jeep after you open it. “Be careful going home, yeah?”

He chuckles. “Yeah.”

You’re starting to walk towards your house when he calls your name. You turn around, a hand caught in your hair. Waiting.

“So I’m surfing tomorrow. If you want to come with me..”

“The boneyard?” you ask. Topper nods. “Yeah. That’s where Kelce and I usually go.”

You think it over. Glancing at the darkened windows in JJ’s house across the street. Remembering the conversation that you had with JJ earlier.

Knowing damn well that despite his promise, he’s going to spend the rest of the summer wrapped up in treasure hunts and his pretty new girlfriend. And maybe you find yourself wondering what the harm might be..

After all, it’s not like anything will happen between you and Topper, right? Because you have this iron clad vision in your mind of the exact type of girl Topper Thornton typically dates  and probably sleeps with.

And you frown as you remind yourself that you’re not that girl. At all.

You laugh softly. “Yeah! I’ll be there. I mean, I can’t surf or anything, but I’ll watch.”

Topper grins. “See you tomorrow then.”

You give him a thumbs up and he waits until you’ve disappeared into your house before he drives away.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I keep seeing “small but fiesty” “big but kind” NO. GIVE ME BIG AND MEAN‼️‼️‼️/j anyways could you do TADC x a reader who’s much larger then everyone else and pretty mean with it? Like Jax mean but just a squeeze nicer cuz they’re not a TOTAL jerk

TADC cast x big and mean reader!!! (not platonic nor romantic youre just mean!!!!!!!!!)

RAAAAAAAAAAH i meant to get to requests earlier buuuuuut i fell asleep and i needed to go make lunch for myself hisshiss (not complaining though, i made onion rings !! yipee!) probably gonna answer this an one or two more requests, though; admins been struck with some art motivation spoiler uhuh i made the reader MEAN, like sure jax is mean but hes like prankster-mean, reader is just mean

CAINE:

he probably tries to get you to chill out and include you in IHA so you know. dont become under stimulated and slowly lose your mind. because that would be bad. honestly i think it would take a lot for caine to be pushed away; he has a high tolerance for tomfoolery and nonsense i think, and as the ringmaster he feels a responsibility to keep everyone happy. and yes that includes you. honestly not really phased by your insults and such in fact i think he might be oblivious... or maybe he just ignores them and moves on. youre gonna have to do something REAL bad to get on caines bad side, i think

POMNI:

doesnt like to be around you, and likely avoids you when she can. i mean can you blame her? youre kind of a dickweed, and that can be unpleasant to be around. like with jax at least theres some humor with it so theres some kind of exchange. but youre just. kind of a mean person. plus youre big, and thats really intimidating when its paired with your personality. add in that shes already working through enough with being new to the circus as well as trying to find an exit... shes just got a lot on her mind and she needs to preserve herself, you know?

RAGATHA:

tries her best to be nice and polite with you, and honestly you can probably see her try to force herself to remain civil and kind. like if you look at her face or listen closely to her voice you can tell that you likely make her just a smidgen uncomfortable. she wont be rude to you, nor will she exclude you.... but i do think that at some point shes going to snap and lose her patience with you.... huh... an angry ragatha losing her cool... odd thought but like everyone else, this lady would also have her limits. does try to apologize afterwards, but is firm that you need to try to clean your act

JAX:

i think he would either target you because he finds it funny when you get all riled up and he gets a thrill from it; or he might try to pair up with you.... obviously, you mention in your ask that the reader is a smidge kinder than jax, but i think the real difference is the types of mean they are. call it a failed friendship or a rivalry, jax doesnt really vibe with you regardless... at least thats my personal take. though i do think he wouldnt try to pick many fights with you depending on how large you are in comparison to him; i mean jax strikes me at the type to bolt the second theres an implication of a fight coming, at least fights that include him

KINGER:

do not the old man :( will actually get sad, but i do think like ragatha he will still try to be kind and polite to you. might even try to find out what your problem is, and try to help you through it. maybe its the dad energy thats making me think like that but. you know? that said, when you so much as furrow your brow you can guarantee that kinger is going to slink away out of sight since he doesnt want to get caught up in whatever is about to happen, correctly assuming someone had made you upset. either that, or i can see your words going right over his head and not phasing him because hes too ooooooo to really try to connect any meaning and correlation.. both work, i think. really it depends on how hes doing on a given day, i think

ZOOBLE:

sometimes you guys shit talk some of the other circus member if they were being particularly annoying that day but thats kind of it. like zooble can be a bit mean but they arent... harsh without any real prompting. whereas, for the sake of filling space and introducing new ideas, you do. i dont think zooble would really vibe well with that... whats this? zooble calling out someone for being an asshole? not as unlikely as youd think, actually.. do i think they would try to stop you? i mean theyd probably tell you to knock it off, but outside of that they would just disconnect themselves from the conversation and walk off. on good days you guys can be somewhat friendly to one another, but on others zooble just cant be bothered with your bullshit. i mean they barely seem to tolerate jax, so i think this was able to be foreseen...

GANGLE:

oh you could be having a good day and say something slightly less mean than usual and you would still make gangle feel bad. you dont even have to try, gangle is just really sensitive. actually, tying this back to ragatha i think if she were to snap it would be on someones behalf... someone like, gangle perhaps? brain stew is brewing, admin is now hcing that ragatha and gangle have a sibling like bond

anyways moving on, i think she would try to avoid you when she can just because youre so... not nice, and even when youre being neutral you can be a little much; you know? factoring in the fact youre a giant compared to her frail body... not that she thinks you would strike her, no im not at all comfy writing physical stuff in my writing, but its like a voice in the back of her head; you know? you dont even have to be violent, just verbally aggressive, you know? though, considering jax seems to push her often (as seen in the pilot and her intro short) i think thats something in the back of her mind when interacting with a lot of people

sits

yk?

[andymakesgames]

Balatro-Inspired Spinning Card Tweetcart Breakdown

I recently made a tweetcart of a spinning playing card inspired by finally playing Balatro, the poker roguelike everybody is talking about.

If you don't know what a tweetcart is, it's a type of size-coding where people write programs for the Pico-8 fantasy console where the source code is 280 characters of less, the length of a tweet.

I'm actually not on twitter any more, but I still like 280 characters as a limitation. I posted it on my mastodon and my tumblr.

Here's the tweetcart I'm writing about today:

And here is the full 279 byte source code for this animation:

a=abs::_::cls()e=t()for r=0,46do for p=0,1,.025do j=sin(e)*20k=cos(e)*5f=1-p h=a(17-p*34)v=a(23-r)c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6u=(r-1)/80z=a(p-.2)if(e%1<.5)c=a(r-5)<5and z<u+.03and(r==5or z>u)and 8or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 g=r+39pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)end end flip()goto _

This post is available with much nicer formatting on the EMMA blog. You can read it here.

You can copy/paste that code into a blank Pico-8 file to try it yourself. I wrote it on Pico-8 version 0.2.6b.

I'm very pleased with this cart! From a strictly technical perspective I think it's my favorite that I've ever made. There is quite a bit going on to make the fake 3D as well as the design on the front and back of the card. In this post I'll be making the source code more readable as well as explaining some tools that are useful if you are making your own tweetcarts or just want some tricks for game dev and algorithmic art.

Expanding the Code

Tweetcarts tend to look completely impenetrable, but they are often less complex than they seem. The first thing to do when breaking down a tweetcart (which I highly recommend doing!) is to just add carriage returns after each command.

Removing these line breaks is a classic tweetcart method to save characters. Lua, the language used in Pico-8, often does not need a new line if a command does not end in a letter, so we can just remove them. Great for saving space, bad for readability. Here's that same code with some line breaks, spaces and indentation added:

a=abs ::_:: cls() e=t() for r=0,46 do for p=0,1,.025 do j=sin(e)*20 k=cos(e)*5 f=1-p h=a(17-p*34) v=a(23-r) c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6 u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if(e%1<.5) c= a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) and 8 or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 g=r+39 pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c) end end flip()goto _

Note: the card is 40 pixels wide and 46 pixels tall. Those number will come up a lot. As will 20 (half of 40) and 23 (half of 46).

Full Code with Variables and Comments

Finally, before I get into what each section is doing, here is an annotated version of the same code. In this code, variables have real names and I added comments:

[editor's note. this one came out terribly on tumblr. Please read the post on my other blog to see it]

This may be all you need to get a sense of how I made this animation, but the rest of this post will be looking at how each section of the code contributes to the final effect. Part of why I wanted to write this post is because I was happy with how many different tools I managed to use in such a small space.

flip() goto_

This pattern shows up in nearly every tweetcart:

::_:: MOST OF THE CODE flip()goto _

This has been written about in Pixienop's Tweetcart Basics which I highly recommend for anybody curious about the medium! The quick version is that using goto is shorter than declaring the full draw function that Pico-8 carts usually use.

Two Spinning Points

The card is drawn in rows starting from the top and going to the bottom. Each of these lines is defined by two points that move around a center point in an elliptical orbit.

The center of the top of the card is x=64 (dead center) and y=39 (a sort of arbitrary number that looked nice).

Then I get the distance away from that center that my two points will be using trigonometry.

x_dist = sin(time)*20 y_dist = cos(time)*5

Here are those points:

P1 adds x_dist and y_dist to the center point and P2 subtracts those same values.

Those are just the points for the very top row. The outer for loop is the vertical rows. The center x position will be the same each time, but the y position increases with each row like this: y_pos = row+39

Here's how it looks when I draw every 3rd row going down:

It is worth noting that Pico-8 handles sin() and cos() differently than most languages. Usually the input values for these functions are in radians (0 to two pi), but in Pico-8 it goes from 0 to 1. More info on that here. It takes a little getting used to but it is actually very handy. More info in a minute on why I like values between 0 and 1.

Time

In the shorter code, e is my time variable. I tend to use e for this. In my mind it stands for "elapsed time". In Pico-8 time() returns the current elapsed time in seconds. However, there is a shorter version, t(), which obviously is better for tweetcarts. But because I use the time value a lot, even the 3 characters for t() is often too much, so I store it in the single-letter variable e.

Because it is being used in sine and cosine for this tweetcart, every time e reaches 1, we've reached the end of a cycle. I would have liked to use t()/2 to slow this cart down to be a 2 second animation, but after a lot of fiddling I wound up being one character short. So it goes.

e is used in several places in the code, both to control the angle of the points and to determine which side of the card is facing the camera.

Here you can see how the sine value of e controls the rotation and how we go from showing the front of the card to showing the back when e%1 crosses the threshold of 0.5.

Drawing and Distorting the Lines

Near the top and bottom of the loop we'll find the code that determines the shape of the card and draws the horizontal lines that make up the card. Here is the loop for drawing a single individual line using the code with expanded variable names:

for prc = 0,1,.025 do x_dist = sin(time)*20 y_dist = cos(time)*5 ... y_pos = row+39 pset( (64+x_dist)*prc + (64-x_dist)*(1-prc), (y_pos+y_dist)*prc + (y_pos-y_dist)*(1-prc), color) end

You might notice that I don't use Pico-8's line function! That's because each line is drawn pixel by pixel.

This tweetcart simulates a 3D object by treating each vertical row of the card as a line of pixels. I generate the points on either side of the card(p1 and p2 in this gif), and then interpolate between those two points. That's why the inner for loop creates a percentage from 0 to 1 instead of pixel positions. The entire card is drawn as individual pixels. I draw them in a line, but the color may change with each one, so they each get their own pset() call.

Here's a gif where I slow down this process to give you a peek at how these lines are being drawn every frame. For each row, I draw many pixels moving across the card between the two endpoints in the row.

Here's the loop condition again: for prc = 0,1,.025 do

A step of 0.025 means there are 40 steps (0.025 * 40 = 1.0). That's the exact width of the card! When the card is completely facing the camera head-on, I will need 40 steps to make it across without leaving a gap in the pixels. When the card is skinnier, I'm still drawing all 40 pixels, but many of them will be in the same place. That's fine. The most recently drawn one will take priority.

Getting the actual X and Y position

I said that the position of each pixel is interpolated between the two points, but this line of code may be confusing:

y_pos = row+39 pset( (64+x_dist)*prc + (64-x_dist)*(1-prc), (y_pos+y_dist)*prc + (y_pos-y_dist)*(1-prc), color)

So let's unpack it a little bit. If you've ever used a Lerp() function in something like Unity you've used this sort of math. The idea is that we get two values (P1 and P2 in the above example), and we move between them such that a value of 0.0 gives us P1 and 1.0 gives us P2.

Here's a full cart that breaks down exactly what this math is doing:

::_:: cls() time = t()/8 for row = 0,46 do for prc = 0,1,.025 do x_dist = sin(time)*20 y_dist = cos(time)*5 color = 9 + row % 3 p1x = 64 + x_dist p1y = row+39 + y_dist p2x = 64 - x_dist p2y = row+39 - y_dist x = p2x*prc + p1x*(1-prc) y = p2y*prc + p1y*(1-prc) pset( x, y, color) end end flip()goto _

I'm defining P1 and P2 very explicitly (getting an x and y for both), then I get the actual x and y position that I use by multiplying P2 by prc and P1 by (1-prc) and adding the results together.

This is easiest to understand when prc is 0.5, because then we're just taking an average. In school we learn that to average a set of numbers you add them up and then divide by how many you had. We can think of that as (p1+p2) / 2. This is the same as saying p1*0.5 + p2*0.5.

But the second way of writing it lets us take a weighted average if we want. We could say p1*0.75 + p2*0.25. Now the resulting value will be 75% of p1 and 25% of p2. If you laid the two values out on a number line, the result would be just 25% of the way to p2. As long as the two values being multiplied add up to exactly 1.0 you will get a weighted average between P1 and P2.

I can count on prc being a value between 0 and 1, so the inverse is 1.0 - prc. If prc is 0.8 then 1.0-prc is 0.2. Together they add up to 1!

I use this math everywhere in my work. It's a really easy way to move smoothly between values that might otherwise be tricky to work with.

Compressing

I'm using a little over 400 characters in the above example. But in the real cart, the relevant code inside the loops is this:

j=sin(e)*20 k=cos(e)*5 g=r+39 pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)

which can be further condensed by removing the line breaks:

j=sin(e)*20k=cos(e)*5g=r+39pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)

Because P1, P2 and the resulting interpolated positions x and y are never used again, there is no reason to waste chars by storing them in variables. So all of the interpolation is done in the call to pset().

There are a few parts of the calculation that are used more than once and are four characters or more. Those are stored as variables (j, k & g in this code). These variables tend to have the least helpful names because I usually do them right at the end to save a few chars so they wind up with whatever letters I have not used elsewhere.

Spinning & Drawing

Here's that same example, but with a checker pattern and the card spinning. (Keep in mind, in the real tweetcart the card is fully draw every frame and would not spin mid-draw)

This technique allows me to distort the lines because I can specify two points and draw my lines between them. Great for fake 3D! Kind of annoying for actually drawing shapes, because now instead of using the normal Pico-8 drawing tools, I have to calculate the color I want based on the row (a whole number between0 and 46) and the x-prc (a float between 0 and 1).

Drawing the Back

Here's the code that handles drawing the back of the card:

h=a(17-p*34) v=a(23-r) c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6

This is inside the nested for loops, so r is the row and p is a percentage of the way across the horizontal line.

c is the color that we will eventually draw in pset().

h and v are the approximate distance from the center of the card. a was previously assigned as a shorthand for abs() so you can think of those lines like this:

h=abs(17-p*34) v=abs(23-r)

v is the vertical distance. The card is 46 pixels tall so taking the absolute value of 23-r will give us the distance from the vertical center of the card. (ex: if r is 25, abs(23-r) = 2. and if r is 21, abs(23-r) still equals 2 )

As you can probably guess, h is the horizontal distance from the center. The card is 40 pixels wide, but I opted to shrink it a bit by multiplying p by 34 and subtracting that from half of 34 (17). The cardback just looks better with these lower values, and the diamond looks fine.

The next line, where I define c, is where things get confusing. It's a long line doing some clunky math. The critical thing is that when this line is done, I need c to equal 1 (dark blue) or 7 (white) on the Pico-8 color pallette.

Here's the whole thing: c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6

Here is that line broken down into much more discrete steps.

c = 1 --start with a color of 1 low_dist = min(23-v,17-h) --get the lower inverted distance from center val = low_dist % 5 --mod 5 to bring it to a repeating range of 0 to 5 val = val / 3 --divide by 3. value is now 0 to 1.66 val = flr(val) --round it down. value is now 0 or 1 val = val * 6 --multiply by 6. value is now 0 or 6 c += val --add value to c, making it 1 or 7

The first thing I do is c=1. That means the entire rest of the line will either add 0 or 6 (bumping the value up to 7). No other outcome is acceptable. min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6 will always evaluate to 0 or 6.

I only want the lower value of h and v. This is what will give it the nice box shape. If you color the points inside a rectangle so that ones that are closer to the center on their X are one color and ones that are closer to the center on their Y are a different color you'll get a pattern with clean diagonal lines running from the center towards the corners like this:

You might think I would just use min(v,h) instead of the longer min(23-v,17-h) in the actual code. I would love to do that, but it results in a pattern that is cool, but doesn't really look like a card back.

I take the inverted value. Instead of having a v that runs from 0 to 23, I flip it so it runs from 23 to 0. I do the same for h. I take the lower of those two values using min().

Then I use modulo (%) to bring the value to a repeating range of 0 to 5. Then I divide that result by 3 so it is 0 to ~1.66. The exact value doens't matter too much because I am going round it down anyway. What is critical is that it will become 0 or 1 after rounding because then I can multiply it by a specific number without getting any values in between.

Wait? If I'm rounding down, where is flr() in this line: c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6?

It's not there! That's because there is a sneaky tool in Pico-8. You can use \1 to do the same thing as flr(). This is integer division and it generally saves a 3 characters.

Finally, I multiply the result by 6. If it is 0, we get 0. If it is 1 we get 6. Add it to 1 and we get the color we want!

Here's how it looks with each step in that process turned on or off:

A Note About Parentheses

When I write tweetcarts I would typically start by writing this type of line like this: c=1+ (((min(23-v,17-h)%5)/3) \1) *6

This way I can figure out if my math makes sense by using parentheses to ensure that my order of operations works. But then I just start deleting them willy nilly to see what I can get away with. Sometimes I'm surprised and I'm able to shave off 2 characters by removing a set of parentheses.

The Face Side

The face side with the diamond and the "A" is a little more complex, but basically works the same way as the back. Each pixel needs to either be white (7) or red (8). When the card is on this side, I'll be overwriting the c value that got defined earlier.

Here's the code that does it (with added white space). This uses the h and v values defined earlier as well as the r and p values from the nested loops.

u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if(e%1<.5) c= a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) and 8 or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2

Before we piece out what this is doing, we need to talk about the structure for conditional logic in tweetcarts.

The Problem with If Statements

The lone line with the if statement is doing a lot of conditional logic in a very cumbersome way designed to avoid writing out a full if statement.

One of the tricky things with Pico-8 tweetcarts is that the loop and conditional logic of Lua is very character intensive. While most programming language might write an if statement like this:

if (SOMETHING){ CODE }

Lua does it like this:

if SOMETHING then CODE end

Using "then" and "end" instead of brackets means we often want to bend over backwards to avoid them when we're trying to save characters.

Luckily, Lua lets you drop "then" and "end" if there is a single command being executed inside the if.

This means we can write

if(e%1 < 0.5) c=5

instead of

if e%1 < 0.5 then c=5 end

This is a huge savings! To take advantage of this, it is often worth doing something in a slightly (or massively) convoluted way if it means we can reduce it to a single line inside the if. This brings us to:

Lua's Weird Ternary Operator

In most programming language there is an inline syntax to return one of two values based on a conditional. It's called the Ternary Operator and in most languages I use it looks like this:

myVar = a>b ? 5 : 10

The value of myVar will be 5 if a is greater than b. Otherwise is will be 10.

Lua has a ternary operator... sort of. You can read more about it here but it looks something like this:

myVar = a>b and 5 or 10

Frankly, I don't understand why this works, but I can confirm that it does.

In this specific instance, I am essentially using it to put another conditional inside my if statement, but by doing it as a single line ternary operation, I'm keeping the whole thing to a single line and saving precious chars.

The Face Broken Out

The conditional for the diamond and the A is a mess to look at. The weird syntax for the ternary operator doesn't help. Neither does the fact that I took out any parentheses that could make sense of it.

Here is the same code rewritten with a cleaner logic flow.

--check time to see if we're on the front half if e%1 < .5 then --this if checks if we're in the A u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) then c = 8 --if we're not in the A, set c based on if we're in the diamond else c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 end end

The first thing being checked is the time. As I explained further up, because the input value for sin() in Pico-8 goes from 0 to 1, the midpoint is 0.5. We only draw the front of the card if e%1 is less than 0.5.

After that, we check if this pixel is inside the A on the corner of the card or the diamond. Either way, our color value c gets set to either 7 (white) or 8 (red).

Let's start with diamond because it is easier.

The Diamond

This uses the same h and v values from the back of the card. The reason I chose diamonds for my suit is that they are very easy to calculate if you know the vertical and horizontal distance from a point! In fact, I sometimes use this diamond shape instead of proper circular hit detection in size-coded games.

Let's look at the line: c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2

This starts with 8, the red color. Since the only other acceptable color is 7 (white), tha means that sgn(h+v-9)/2 has to evaluate to either 1 or 0.

sgn() returns the sign of a number, meaning -1 if the number is negative or 1 if the number is positive. This is often a convenient way to cut large values down to easy-to-work-with values based on a threshold. That's exactly what I'm doing here!

h+v-9 takes the height from the center plus the horizontal distance from the center and checks if the sum is greater than 9. If it is, sgn(h+v-9) will return 1, otherwise -1. In this formula, 9 is the size of the diamond. A smaller number would result in a smaller diamond since that's the threshold for the distance being used. (note: h+v is NOT the actual distance. It's an approximation that happens to make a nice diamond shape.)

OK, but adding -1 or 1 to 8 gives us 7 or 9 and I need 7 or 8.

That's where /2 comes in. Pico-8 defaults to floating point math, so dividing by 2 will turn my -1 or 1 into -0.5 or 0.5. So this line c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 actually sets c to 7.5 or 8.5. Pico-8 always rounds down when setting colors so a value of 7.5 becomes 7 and 8.5 becomes 8. And now we have white for most of the card, and red in the space inside the diamond!

The A

The A on the top corner of the card was the last thing I added. I finished the spinning card with the card back and the diamond and realized that when I condensed the whole thing, I actually had about 50 characters to spare. Putting a letter on the ace seemed like an obvious choice. I struggled for an evening trying to make it happen before deciding that I just couldn't do it. The next day I took another crack at it and managed to get it in, although a lot of it is pretty ugly! Luckily, in the final version the card is spinning pretty fast and it is harder to notice how lopsided it is.

I mentioned earlier that my method of placing pixels in a line between points is great for deforming planes, but makes a lot of drawing harder. Here's a great example. Instead of just being able to call print("a") or even using 3 calls to line() I had to make a convoluted conditional to check if each pixel is "inside" the A and set it to red if it is.

I'll do my best to explain this code, but it was hammered together with a lot of trial and error. I kept messing with it until I found an acceptable balance between how it looked and how many character it ate up.

Here are the relevant bits again:

u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) then c = 8

The two variables above the if are just values that get used multiple times. Let's give them slightly better names. While I'm making edits, I'll expand a too since that was just a replacement for abs().

slope = (r-1)/80 dist_from_center = abs(p-.2) if abs(r-5) < 5 and dist_from_center < slope+.03 and (r==5 or dist_from_center>slope) then c = 8

Remember that r is the current row and p is the percentage of the way between the two sides where this pixel falls.

u/slope here is basically how far from the center line of the A the legs are at this row. As r increases, so does slope (but at a much smaller rate). The top of the A is very close to the center, the bottom is further out. I'm subtracting 1 so that when r is 0, slope is negative and will not be drawn. Without this, the A starts on the very topmost line of the card and looks bad.

z/dist_from_center is how far this particular p value is from the center of the A (not the center of the card), measured in percentage (not pixels). The center of the A is 20% of the way across the card. This side of the card starts on the right (0% is all the way right, 100% is all the way left), which is why you see the A 20% away from the right side of the card.

These values are important because the two legs of the A are basically tiny distance checks where the slope for a given r is compared against the dist_from_center. There are 3 checks used to determine if the pixel is part of the A.

if a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) then

The first is abs(r-5) < 5. This checks if r is between 1 and 9, the height of my A.

The second is dist_from_center < slope+.03. This is checking if this pixel's x distance from the center of the A is no more than .03 bigger than the current slope value. This is the maximum distance that will be considered "inside" the A. All of this is a percentage, so the center of the A is 0.20 and the slope value will be larger the further down the A we get.

Because I am checking the distance from the center point (the grey line in the image above), this works on either leg of the A. On either side, the pixel can be less than slope+.03 away.

Finally, it checks (r==5 or dist_from_center>slope). If the row is exactly 5, that is the crossbar across the A and should be red. Otherwise, the distance value must be greater than slope (this is the minimum value it can have to be "inside" the A). This also works on both sides thanks to using distance.

Although I am trying to capture 1-pixel-wide lines to draw the shape of the A, I could not think of a cleaner way than doing this bounding check. Ignoring the crossbar on row 5, you can think about the 2nd and 3rd parts of the if statement essentially making sure that dist_from_center fits between slope and a number slightly larger than slope. Something like this:

slope < dist_from_center < slope+0.03

Putting it Together

All of this logic needed to be on a single line to get away with using the short form of the if statement so it got slammed into a single ternary operator. Then I tried removing parentheses one at a time to see what was structurally significant. I wish I could say I was more thoughtful than that but I wasn't. The end result is this beefy line of code:

if(e%1<.5)c=a(r-5)<5and z<u+.03and(r==5or z>u)and 8or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2

Once we've checked that e (our time value) is in the phase where we show the face, the ternary operator checks if the pixel is inside the A. If it is, c is set to 8 (red). If it isn't, then we set c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2, which is the diamond shape described above.

That's It!

Once we've set c the tweetcart uses pset to draw the pixel as described in the section on drawing the lines.

Here's the full code and what it looks like when it runs again. Hopefully now you can pick out more of what's going on!

a=abs::_::cls()e=t()for r=0,46do for p=0,1,.025do j=sin(e)*20k=cos(e)*5f=1-p h=a(17-p*34)v=a(23-r)c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6u=(r-1)/80z=a(p-.2)if(e%1<.5)c=a(r-5)<5and z<u+.03and(r==5or z>u)and 8or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 g=r+39pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)end end flip()goto _

I hope this was helpful! I had a lot of fun writing this cart and it was fun to break it down. Maybe you can shave off the one additional character needed to slow it down by using e=t()/2 a bit. If you do, please drop me a line on my mastodon or tumblr!

And if you want to try your hand at something like this, consider submitting something to TweetTweetJam which just started! You'll get a luxurious 500 characters to work with!

Links and Resources

There are some very useful posts of tools and tricks for getting into tweetcarts. I'm sure I'm missing many but here are a few that I refer to regularly.

Pixienop's tweetcart basics and tweetcart studies are probably the single best thing to read if you want to learn more.

Trasevol_Dog's Doodle Insights are fascinating, and some of them demonstrate very cool tweetcart techniques.

Optimizing Character Count for Tweetcarts by Eli Piilonen / @2DArray

Guide for Making Tweetcarts by PrincessChooChoo

The official documentation for the hidden P8SCII Control Codes is worth a read. It will let you do wild things like play sound using the print() command.

I have released several size-coded Pico-8 games that have links to heavily annotated code:

Pico-Mace

Cold Sun Surf

1k Jump

Hand Cram

And if you want to read more Pico-8 weirdness from me, I wrote a whole post on creating a networked Pico-8 tribute to Frog Chorus.

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 24 Thoughts

Chapter 24 for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

Ah, the beginning of the Arc the movie Monkey King Reborn is based on! It will be very delightful to spot the similarities for myself!

But first we have to finish the previous trial. I really don’t like how the emphasise is kind of put on women as being tempters. Especially when the exemplary lady is explicitly stated to be sixteen, that is a child!

Still not a fan how they put so much ridicule on Zhu Bajie as well when they equally pressured him into the whole situation.

Hm Sun Wukong schooling his Shifu. We love the communal grandpa dispersing his knowledge.

And here are the two sillies! I’ll take it in immortal years they’re closer to being old tweens or young teens. That’s the feeling I get from them at least.

Ah, teaching the kids that uhm, actually just make friends with people if they’re nice, religion should not be of any importance there. There are some really good lessons to be taken away from this novel.

One could say they are… Home Alone.

I wonder if the sight of the Daoist Abbey makes Sun Wukong melancholic with thoughts of his first Shifu.

Clear Breeze, I most certainly prefer the J. F. Jenner and movie’s translation and technically also the German translation of Pure Wind, and Bright Moon are notably nicer in the novel than the adaptation. They only get rude when they actually have been wronged. Just looking at their movie counterparts, these aren’t the same kids.

Plants you say? Now don’t mind if I look them up! Spoilers this turned out a bit of a difficult ordeal so take all of this with a grain of salt.

For accuracy, spinach yes and celery yes.

Mare’s tail… maybe? My search came up with Beta vulgaris aka Chard/Swiss Chard instead, though both plants fall under the term vulgaris in their scientific name and are plausible options as they are both native to Western Asia. Since it is a vegetable garden for people however I might be inclined to personally go with Chard, in part also because I have eaten that vegetable before and it is not only quite tasty but also nutritional.

Funfact in German Chard is called Mangold, definitely sounds like a plant an immortal would eat. But again that’s just personal bias, in reality it could still be either.

Back to the list, I have no clue where beet comes from in this line, but ginger yes.

Seaweed no. It seems to actually be moss of some kind and I looked up as to possibly why it’s in this garden. Indeed certain types of moss are used for medicinal or culinary purposes in some cultures. But don’t go out and just eat moss you find in your garden! A lot of mosses are toxic and no good for eating, so be careful!

Bamboo shoot yes and melon yes. Squash, more like gourd, but technically yes. Watercress no, my research came up with wild rice instead, but watercress is still native to Asia as well.

Now for this next line I would like to remark that there is some potential difference in the Chinese Original. Chive technically yes the Google Translate said just onion though, garlic yes, coriander yes, leek and scallion technically yes though if the characters for those two are put together the translator says they translate to chives instead.

The second paragraph I will not touch as that one is more complex.

The local Tudi really tends to be the living loremaster, in a way that makes a lot of sense in world too, something I can always appreciate.

Heh, Sun Wukong doing a little trickshot with the mallet. Not that it worked, but he tried.

Sha Wujing being the good little brother getting roped into shenanigans by his older brothers. The feeling of found family is strong with this one.

At the end I would like to shill the movie a bit as I really like that one and it does make for quite a good companion piece for this Arc. It also has one of the best Sha Wujing designs in my opinion.

[into-crazy]

juicy

Ledger!Joker x Reader drabble

Summary: The elotero comes around and you share a mango with J.

Warnings- The reader speaks Spanish, J being his usual self, pretty much fluff, ages 18+

Alright, so this is a very self indulgent piece that came into my head while I was eating a mango🥭 Now the reader doesn't necessarily have to be of Latino/Hispanic or any other ethnicities which speak Spanish to be able to read or connect with this. Since I know a lot of people who aren't but can speak little to pretty good Spanish. I also added the English translations to make it easier. I wrote this for funsies!

It's a warm, early evening in the city of Gotham and you are spending it at home. Joker has been here with you the entire day, and the only thing you've both done was relax. J came to terms with the fact that he needed a break too every now and then. A brief moment to rest up and refresh before he can go back out and resume terrorizing the city. Or having fun with his BFF- also known as- The Batman.

J was in a good mood today. He’d taken a shower this morning. Ate a proper breakfast which was prepared ever so lovingly by you. And he even watched a couple of movies with you on your couch without grumbling about being bored to death.

Now, he's sitting quietly next to you while you paint your toenails. His feet are propped up on the coffee table, arm extending along the top of the couch with his face pointed towards the ceiling. His eyes are closed and his breathing is steady, but he's not asleep. He's just relishing in this peaceful atmosphere with you. Well, that and he really likes the strong scent of the nail polish for some strange reason. So he'll take any chance he can get to be by you when you bring out the polishes.

You finish with the nails on one foot and move on to the next. Dipping the brush in the bottle to collect more paint as you shift your legs around. A song by one of your favorite artists is playing on low volume on the television. You softly hum along to the tune of the music. Once you finish, you prop both your feet up right next to J's so that the polish can properly dry. You bring your attention towards J and you simply stare at him.

His hair is sprawled onto the cushion behind him. His face is completely bare, clear of the thick layers greasepaint he usually wears. So you can see every inch of his real face. He looks a lot different without the makeup on. Sure the areas around his eyes might be slightly stained due to the overuse of the black greasepaint. Though you can still see all of his handsome features. The tissue of his scars are a lot more visible, and you can't help but want to love on them each time you glance at them. But you know J wouldn't really appreciate the excessive affection towards them. He has to be in a very specific type of mood to allow you to give lots of love and attention to his scars.

Getting the familiar sense that you were looking at him, J opens his eyes. He turns his head slightly to find you doing just that. Gazing at him adoringly with a half smile.

"What?" He grumbles.

"Nothing." You hum, still looking at him with your sparkling gaze. "I just wanted to look at you. Is that a crime?"

J chuckles, "it's not. But I can show ya a real crime if you're interested."

You shake your head as you return the laugh. "No thanks, I'll pass."

"Can't say I don't try," he replies before glancing down at your feet. "Let me see."

You point your toes up and wiggle them so he can see the color you chose. "I like it. Just a little something to make my toes look a little nicer."

J hums, but he doesn't say anything else. He doesn't care what your toes look like. He'll just acknowledge the things that make you happy, even if they're insignificant to him.

The song that's playing on the TV is coming to an end as it fades out. As it does, you hear something outside. It sounds like a horn going off repeatedly. You know that sound. It's the familiar honking sound of a bicycle horn. Growing up, you'd hear that same sound almost every day in the neighborhood.

"The elotero!" You gasp excitedly as you jump off of the couch, practically running to the window so you can look outside. Your hasty actions catch J by surprise and he sits up fully.

"The what?"

"It's the corn man." You translate, peeking through the blinds to try and spot said man. After scanning the entire area, sure enough, you see him slowing coming down your street. Pushing his cart full of goodies straight your way. You press your finger rather aggressively against the glass to point him out. "There he is- right there!"

J is still confused as to what you are saying as he walks over to you. He peeks through to see what you're trying to show him. However, you move away from the window when he looks through. He spots him instantly. This man seems to be just a regular street vendor. So he tries to figure what the big deal is about. He then looks at you for an explanation as to why you've just lost your mind.

But there is no time to stop and explain, you might miss the guy if you do that. So you move and talk at the same time, slipping on your shoes and grabbing some cash out of your wallet. "He sells street food. They're called corn guys because they're mostly known for selling ears of corn on sticks. But they sell other stuff too, like shaved ice, candy, potato chips, chicharrones, and my favorite- mangos."

"Chi cha- who now? You must be making your own words up." J squints at one of the words you said.

You giggle heartily at his attempt. At least he tried. "Chicharrones," you repeat, "they're Mexican wheel chips. But hey, I will be right back. I'm going to go get a mango."

The door shuts and locks quickly behind you.

You feel a wave of nostalgia wash over you as you walk up towards the cart. Memories from your past replay in your mind. You remember the warm summer evenings when you would be chilling at home. Hearing the same horn coming from outside. It was always that same horn too. It could be a different man, a different day. But they all had the same horn, with the same distinct toot. Some just sounding more worn than others.

There was a small line of people, and you were the last one. So you waited there patiently. Wondering if J was peering down at you through the window. Upon glancing up, you find out that indeed he was. The blinds don't bend around like that by themselves. You laugh to yourself at the thought.

Finally, the person before you leaves and it is now your turn.

Walking up, you smile at the elotero as he greets you warmly.

"Hola buenas noches." // "Hello good evening."

"Buenas noches." You reply, "¿Puedo comprar un mango con chamoy y Tajín?" // "Good evening." ~ "Can I buy a mango with chamoy and Tajín?"

The man nods, and gets right to work on putting it together. He does it effortlessly, you can tell he's been doing this for years. It takes him no more than four minutes to cut up the fruit into slices and add them into a large container along with all the other ingredients and toppings. Once he's finished, he places a fork in there and wraps two napkins around it then hands the cup to you.

You take it graciously, "Gracias. ¿Cuánto es?" // "Thank you. How much is it?"

"Cuatro cincuenta." // "Four fifty."

He stands there while you open up your wallet to take out the cash. You hand him a five dollar bill, and he gives you two quarters back. "Muchas gracias." // "Thanks a lot."

The elotero gives a final nod, then carries on with his cart. Honking the horn as he continues down the street.

Making your way back to your apartment, you couldn't help but stare at the cup the entire way. Stumbling over a step on the stairs and almost dropping it by not paying attention.

Once you're inside, you head into the kitchen where J is. Standing there, waiting for you. You place the cup on top of the counter and excitedly remove one of the mango slices. There was no time to waste as you've waiting too long already. Your mouth waters just before you bring it to your mouth and bite into it. Savoring the sweet and sour taste of the piece.

"Mm," you sigh happily. Your taste buds are finally satisfied.

You look over at J while continuing with the fruit. He examines the contents of the container, trying to figure out what's all in there. You're wondering what he's thinking, since the look on his face is blank.

"Well that uh, looks like a lot going on. What is that dark stuff and those red flakes?" He asks pointing at it.

"That is chamoy, which is basically a saucy condiment." You point out, licking said sauce from your fingertips. "And that's Tajín. It's like a salty, spicy seasoning."

J gets a closer look. "That doesn't sound like something ya put on fruit."

You hum, "it's good, try it." Grabbing a slice, you hold it out to him. He looks at you, a skeptical look on his face while he determines whether to take it or not. You grow impatient, and further insist. "What? Are you allergic to mangos or something?"

"No." He draws out.

"So try it then. You seem interested. Otherwise you wouldn't be standing here pondering over them like that."

J looks down at the fruit then plucks it out of your hand. He looks it over for a brief second and takes a huge bite out of it. His face switches from unamused to that of intrigue with every chew. He quickly downs the rest and goes in for another. "Alright, these are not bad at all."

His response makes you grin, content with his admitted approval. "I know, they're so good. So sweet and juicy."

"Yeah they are." He hums, lewdly slurping on one of the mango slices. "They remind me of you." He licks his lips and you gasp.

"Joker!" You exclaim. Even though you've known J for quite some time now, you will never deny the fact that he still(and probably always will) have the power to make you blush profusely with his suggestive ways.

You both spend the next five minutes laughing with one another while finishing up the rest of the mango slices together.

[cptnjeanlucpicard]

Another message from Command. It's from the ever so polite Admiral, the one that had once suggested for Picard to 'be nicer' to Q.

'Dear Captain Picard,

Captain Oswald Ottering has made during one of his missions on Ferenginar a rather interesting discovery. There have been discussions on wether anyone should tell you about them or not but I am of the opinion that hearing it from us is better than eventually finding out on your own. Mostly because I fear that you might think ill of us and feel slightly betrayed if you were to find out that 'Command' and other Captains knew about this but no one ever told you about it.

Attached to this message are a few pictures of some merchandise and even an advertisement that had been temporarily conviscated.

*Picture Number one shows a mug with Picards on it with him, surprisingly, genuinly smiling and a 'Make it so' beneath the photo' Picture Number Two is a surprisingly detailed doll of him; Picture Three is a recording of 'Captain Picards greatest speeches and rants' with a bonus of 'Captain Picards most awkward moments' gifted to a Ferengi named Gant by an 'anonymous source' and Picture Four was.. the advertisement*

It could only be conviscated for a short amount of time as the Ferengi who sold all of this and other things insisted that he had costumers in 'high places' who would not be pleased with his shop being closed.

And I am well aware of how much this all disturbs you, Captain, and believe me when I say that you have all of our sympathy but as you know even we Admirals are often tied to the wills of influential Federation members and we got told that there was more than one 'angry phone call' as we humans still like to call it and even a personal meeting and now it has become illegal to intervene with the Business relationships of the Ferengi Gant.

I hope that you are aware, that we tried to talk the Ferengi into turning his business in other directions but not even, well some might call it 'bribing' but such things are of course unheard of in Starfleet, could alter Gants mind. He showed us some of the things his costumers pay with. And a few of the payments very clearly did not have their origin anywhere in the Alpha Quadrant.

In the hopes that the knowledge of your apparent popularity brings you some comfort.

Respectfully

Admiral J

*Captain Picard stares at the screen in almost disbelief for a few minutes. He really doesn't know how to respond to any of this. He puts his head in his hands, sighs, and then looks up and types out an answer.*

Admiral J,

It's good to hear from you again. To be frank, this brings me very little comfort. I have never been one who enjoys having his face plastered on mugs and toys. I can only hope that Gant is acquiring his wares through legal means. I find the recordings of me in particular to be disturbing--these are speeches that were mainly stored in Starfleet databases. I would recommend looking into how he got those.

Captain Picard

*Good enough. Picard doesn't have the energy to consider what this might mean any further. He sends the message to J and leans back in his chair, rubbing his eyes annoyedly.*

[dinoalexander]

YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN: THE WORLD FAMOUS SEMI-QUOTABLE 2022 QUOTEDOWN QUOTETACULAR

Ladies and gentlemen and multiforms across seven star systems. It is an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure to inform you that READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.

With that said, the World-Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2022 Quotedown Quotetacular is live in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… BEGUN!

—

“I’m not people, I’m your brother!” -C

“Now that Jeff Bezos owns Whole Foods, it’s more like two cans.” -Klauss

“F 2021 in its poop chute.” -Carl

“Kim, if I ever go into that drawer, always assume it’s for a fork.” -C, on a coworker’s junk drawer with plastic cutlery and… feminine hygiene products on full display.

“The 2020s need to go into time out and think about what they did.” -Q

“Chose the right week to choose my wife over trivia.” -Dave

“A bemusing coincidence that we lose Howard Hesseman on the same day the football team from Cincinnati does their best impression of a flock of turkeys being dropped from a helicopter...” -Justin

“… come on, girl. You saw ‘Set It Off’.” -C

“The groundhog saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks until the Times puts Wordle behind a paywall.” -Justin

“It Was a Thing a YouTube Dipshit Did With Too Much Money.” -Klauss

“I’M A BAAAAAAAAD MAAAAAAAAN!” -C on a Big Brain 12K

He's a D*ck - Gordon

You know I don't use that language - Bonnie

P*nis? - Gordon

No - Bonnie

Flapping piece of soft cartilage? - Gordon

.....- Bonnie

"Hey, didn't you used to be Antonio Brown?" -Justin

“Remember if you’re not having fun while you’re cooking, you’re just making food.” -Alvin Zhou

“The more I thought about swinging by Food Lion, grabbing a steak and a pack of risotto, the more I thought… I don’t want to cook, and even if I did, the kitchen is in no condition to be trifled with.” -C

“It’s not fitting in the hole” -Ken

“That’s what she said.” -Dan

“The group had a six-titty tour.” -Jonathan Oakes

“I’m stuck between namaste and kiss my ass.” -Craig Shoemaker

“The word of the day...is Thwomphammer.” -G

“They are trying to get Alabama in SO BAD. if Alabama gets in it's megacans.fuckyou.wav.” -J

“Y’all re-awoke a fire in me that will only make me stronger and I’m beyond excited to unleash that demon again to exponential levels on any OPP that lines up across from me next season.” -Eli Apple

“Hold on. Gordon’s plant is being naughty again.” -C

“Typed a 2,000 word reply to an email. Edited it down to 1,000 words. Edited it down to 500 words. Edited it down to 12 words. Hit send. Felt really good to type the 2,000 words, though.” -Kevin

“I’ve lost my appetite… and perhaps my will to live.” -C, on Q’s textcapades

“If it’s Beverly Crusher, we’re in trouble. If it’s Wesley Crusher, we may be okay.” -Benny

“When I am rich… you’re getting therapy, you’re getting therapy, you’re getting DOUBLE therapy. EVERYBODY’S HEALING.” -Deborah’s reel

“Man this is a Howie Mandel-hosted show on Netflix!” -Jay

“Before you guys put me in a chat, can you solve this problem by looking at policy?” -C

“Today I learned Måneskin isn’t the porn version of the 1980s classic Mannequin.” -Klauss

“Walk into the club like whaddup I got a oh god oh no wrong building I’m so sorry continue with your funeral god bless.” -TJ’s shirt

“I’ll try being nicer when you try being smarter.” -Tara

“Ta-DOW! … did that word just come out of my mouth?” -C

“We’re not going to beat Abraham Lincoln’s poop today.” -Megan

“I’m the blue one.” -Benny

“You don’ look like David Yost to me!” -C

“I’m gonna feed you. I don’t know you but I’m gonna feed you.” -?.. somebody

“Interesting fact: The world population will pass 8 billion sometime in the next few hours.” -Bruce

“Nick Cannon at it again?” -Jenny M

“Not gonna make it this year because I haven’t said anything particularly funny. My writers are on strike for better living conditions and improved food in the commissary. I told them they’d still have to share a room and they were gonna eat whatever their mother cooked.” -Daniel

“Uber driver:”I was a contestant on The Price is Right four years ago!”

Me: “Yeah? How’d you do?”

(Surprisingly long, uncomfortable silence)

Uber driver: “Bitch bid a dollar more.”” -Adam

“Irish nachos… 0/10. Would not recommend. I don’t think the cheese was even cheese. Might’ve been something from Flippy’s Gas ‘N Gulp.” -C

“And last night he was all “no I haven’t decided yet.” Even Brett Favre was like “this goddamned prick.”” -Greg, on Tom Brady’s retirement.

(Phlebotomist brings in labs when it’s time for us to go)

“… WHAT, YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?!” -C

“Yay Albania!” -Tommy

“Use the toilet now or forever hold your pee.” -Frontier stewardess

“NERD SHIT!” -C & Phillip

“Tom Brady is the human version of Herpes.” -Blaze

“Oh CURSE WORD!” -C

“We have standards.” -Ken

“Finally!” -Benny

“I'm going to fail 30 times. It sounds like my dating life." -Klauss

“Rename the Washington Football Team the Gotham Rogues, because our stadium looks like Bane just left.” -Mark Ellis

“Give a man glitter, he glitters for a lifetime. Teach a man to glitter, he ALSO glitters for a lifetime. That's just how glitter works.” -Heather

“Shut the fuck up, Fay Vincent.” -Greg

“My computer locked up in computer jail. Come save a biiiiiiitch!” -Gena

“The big 69 ROFLMAO - Gordon Pepper Commissioner. Every game is nice.” -J

“Normal Québécois is dirty French. BOOK SAY SO.” -C

“You know what, sure the Vols lost this week...but you know who I feel bad for? America's fairweather college football fans...every one of them has had the staggering realization that, sadly, they are going to have to start rooting for Georgia...again.” -Brian

13: “Time loop.”

Yaz: “Time loop.”

Dan: “Groundhog Day.”

-from “Eve of the Daleks”

Paul Heyman: “Ladies and Gentlemen… my name is Paul Heyman, and I am the #Advocate for the…”

VRM: “QUARTERBACK FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS…”

Paul Heyman: “… BRRRROCK…”

VRM: “PURDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Carmelo Anthony… going from missing the lay-in to missing the play-in.” -Shaq

“You’re in their DMs. We’re in them. We are not the same.” -Tampax

“You’ve been hanging out with us too much.” -C

“Or not enough!” -Brian

“My next door neighbor told me her dogs Zeus and Xena had an “accidental breeding” and Xena is going to have puppies at the end of April. I’m thinking, you can’t name a dog Zeus and NOT expect him to impregnate all the bitches!” -Megan

“In case you're wondering if the automatic closed captioning on YouTube is good enough, please remember that it once thought I said, "I'm going to Popeyes while I pick up some great sex on the internet."

Obviously that's ridiculous. It was Raising Cane's.” -Wingo

“Charlie Cox plays Daredevil, you idiot!” -C to Jay as James May

“I laughed. LORD, HOW I LAUGHED.” -Liz

“First progress report (too tired to do anything last night) One hour in and three cars prime gives me a nice $120 profit. Now to run to the boys room and figure out what my next move is.” -C

“Royal flush.” -Carl

“Do you care to udder that again?” -Austin Rogers #callback

“I don’t drink Pumpkin Spice Latte before October 1. I don’t do my holiday shopping before Thanksgiving. I’m an American, dammit!” -Jay

“Autocorrect can be a real piece of shut.” -Doug

“Carl has the football.” -C

“Let us know when Carl has the sporting goods store.” -Jay

“Quisla what’s wrong? Do you have hemorrhoids? Do I have to pray for your ass?” -Adam

“Isn’t That Girl Lay Lay just That’s So Raven with artificial intelligence instead of magic psychic powers?” -C

“We are stumbling through this class like a flock of angry, feral geese, and that's ok!”

-TJ, describing how we're going to think about queer theory and that it's tough and scary and uncomfortable.

““Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'” “Is it common?”“Well, It's Not Unusual.”” -Brian

“Q: What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? A: 671 Hallmark movies.” -Lollie

“I’m firing up my 43-inch…. TV.” -Jay, on 4/20

“Southwest is the worst of the American air carriers, except for all of the others.” -Scott

“So @Chico I have beef with Duke now.” -Kim

“‘On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level?’ MOTHERFUCKING 15!” -Q

“Ummmm the United States also has a big glass pyramid... with a Bass Pro Shops in it.” -Danielle

“I don’t want to feel like king shit while washing my undies.” -C, pondering the cost of a new washer/dryer

“What the colonized Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon did I just watch?!” -Kim

“The league controls the narrative. NFL Network (Will Forte) is the cuck in the buttfucking between Roger Goodell (Laurence Fishburne) and Tom Brady (Kristin Wiig).” -Klauss

“TOILET OF HOLDING!” -Chico

“I remember this thing being a thing.” -Austin Rogers

TIM: "Well, the big sports news today is that Russell Wilson has been traded."

ME: "Is he the guy that they named the footballs after?"

TIM: "....No."

ME: "Then he must not have been that good."

And that's today in "Talking with Adam about Sports."

“First pregnancy: I’ve never felt more beautiful, thinking about the little miracle growing inside of me. It’s such a blessing! Second pregnancy: … never doing this again.” -Manuela Arbeláez

“My in-house normal is borderline illegal.” -C

“Lionel Goldbart and Barbara Lowe in one room. No wonder nobody had a tape of it, everyone’s TV exploded.” -Ben

“Scott Hanson is definitely the Ryan Seacrest to Andrew Siciliano’s Brian Dunkleman.” -Awful Announcing comment

“I expected to be disappointed. I was indeed disappointed.” -D

“This came up today. Sympathy is personally having experienced similar sucktitude such that you can have an emotional memory when someone else's circumstances suck. Empathy is recognizing that some else is going through something sucky. Compassion is one of the above PLUS feeling a desire to solve the suck for that other person. I have heard a few people say they have lost their empathy. I guarantee you haven't. You have just stopped trying to solve other people's lives; that is a growth step not a failure.” -Jenni

“My deep and abiding knowledge of pantyhose comes in handy again.” -Jay

“I’m not a fan of this lineup. It’s not great. Not great at all.” -C

“NOT GREAT, BOB!” -Benny

“Congratulations to Jimmy Garoppolo on replacing Dr Fauci as Aaron Rodgers’ least favorite Italian” - Richard Staff

Dave Pasch: "Is he aware that you played for the Boston Celtics?"

Bill Walton: "I have no idea. Did I?"

Pasch: "You did win Sixth Man of the Year."

Walton: "Which means I was Larry Bird's valet. Which means my job was to tell Larry what time the game started."

“I worked with Howard Hesseman a bit in the early 70s. I’m paraphrasing: “I bought a set of leather luggage today. It looks new now, but 25 years from now I’ll have a set of groovy luggage.” - Steve Martin

“Odell Beckham now has as many Super Bowl touchdowns as respected former NFL tight end Aaron Hernandez.

A great honor.” - Barry McCockiner

“Hey Shohei Ohtani is doing these amazing things.....and the Angels are losing again" - Gary Cohen

“Late night television is still selling nonstick cookware as if it’s 1975 and this is somehow a new invention.” - Tom Nichols

“Every G-D website I go to I click “Accept Cookies”-- and how many cookies have I actually received? Zero. Zero cookies.” - Rainn Wilson

"Tom Stone who looks an awful lot like Mike Scott of the Houston Astros. Maybe if he was scuffing the ring, he would have a better chance in some of these matches." - Peter Winston

“Recently heard a newscaster say, “Today is National Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Which is, of course, a made-up holiday.” And I thought, “Aren’t all holidays made-up?” - Gerard Mulligan

“My arts & entertainment Spidey-sense is going mad! But I swear I thought it was Phantom.” -Q

“Yeah I’m that bitch that cut you off. Fuck you and your mama.” -Mary on her personalized license plate

“I believe it was Gonzaga who said… “(makes gagging, gasping, and choking noises)”” -C

“That would be my fat ass.” -… somebody on TikTok

“If I haven't made the wall yet, I'm not going too, so I'm going to just spew unintelligible gibberish for the remainder of the day. This is no different than my regular programming.” -Erskine

"He should be Admiral Crunch by now. He's been delivering deliciousness for quite some time and surely is due for a promotion." -Howard

“Tent poles, everywhere. Tent poles.” -Shannon

“Turducken for everyone!” -Carl

“You’re too concentrated on listicle! Just answer the question!” -C

“It's more difficult to give away a couch than I remember!” -J. Keith

“Congratulations to Dusty Baker. His team can kiss my Halo fan rectum.” -JVG

“Challenging me for money in bowling is a good way for me to have all my food and gas paid for for my trip to Virginia.” -Gordon

“Behold, our all-purpose emergency preparedness medical contingency chest. Or as I like to call it… The doomsday box.” -C

“Or as I like to call it… The Oh-Shit Kit.” -Q

“Briar patch, me, some assembly required.” -David

“Why does every NFT look like a Digimon villain?” -Trevor Williams

“So when is the series finale of Twitter?” -BFG

“If people ask me why there was a strike that led to no postseason in 1994, I simply answer that with the same answer I have to “How did the Twins and Braves make the World Series in 1991?” “How and why did the Marlins beat the Indians in the 1997 World Series?” “How and why did Florida and Arizona get baseball teams while Washington didn’t?” and other logic-defying baseball questions from that decade, and that answer is simply… “Because it was the ’90s.”” -Ian

“The best worst team name of the night… “The Odds of Chico Showing Up for Trivia Again Are 3720 to 1”.” -Richard

“(running into the pub) Never tell me the odds!” -Chico

(Someone has a problem with Mayim Bialik referring to the Jeopardy! Round as “Single Jeopardy!”)

“As a great American would ask, “Why the BLEEP is this news?”” -Doug

“"We Paid A Freelancer To Say A Thing You Like ls Bad Because The Google/Facebook Duopoly Ate The Whole Digital Ad Market And Now Harvesting Hate Clicks Is The Only Viable Business Model For Online Media" That’s why.” -C

“"It's good it's good it's good that was good I just wanna do it one more time..." -The Andrew Garfield story, I love him so much

The milkshake take was our last of the day, btw, costume and hair depts were ready :)” -LMM

“Rorrie Travis. Beast Morphers Red Ranger. It’s funny you said you got replaced… by Barack Obama… because, uh… you kinda were.” -Russell Curry, Dino Fury Red and Obama lookalike.

“It’s so cold outside, people are going to Five Below just to warm up a bit.” -Matty

“Drinking a pink drink with sugar on the rim. I don’t know if you notice this but… I’m a girl.” -Q

“I know I am not supposed to attribute to malice what can easily be explained by stupidity. But that woman strikes me as the kind of person who is both malicious and stupid!“ -C

“Every time I watch the Winter Olympics, I just think how life used to be so miserable and boring in these cold countries that they invented a bunch of sports that were like "how can we find ways to DIE".” -Lynn

“Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.” -Ken

“I have half a mind to start casually referring to the first round as Single Jeopardy! Just to trigger a bitch.” -C

“Hard drinks with people who want to get drunk!” -Megan quoting “Its a Wonderful Life”

“I’m gonna have to start drinking at 11.” -Jamie C. - talking about WrestleMania Day 1

“Somewhere Brett Favre is watching Aaron Rodgers and saying “This jackass…”” -C

“I've said it before and I'll say it again: DHL could fuck up the delivery of a shit from an asshole to the toilet bowl...” -Justin

“BE BETTER NOT BITTER YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.” -Sheiky

“Give me five. I have to pee.” -G

“To the white cat who decided to tear ass down the cross street leading to my home as my bumper moved menacingly close: 1) This is not "The Cube." Dwyane Wade is not going to give you nine lives to fritter away. Clearly a human is concerned about you. 2) Go home. You were lucky.” -Evil Travis

“I’ve done everything I could possibly do. WAIT! (Does some extra stuff) There. NOW I’ve done everything I could possibly do.” -C

“Rebuke them in the name of Black Jesus.” -Tricia, re: her travel tech agency

“If you still simp for that manchild (ed: you know the one. -C) please feel free to find some 4 letter words and go do them to yourself.” -Chelsea

“Whoa! Where in the world did that come from, Carmen Sandiego?” -C

“‘Netflix making a sequel to A Christmas Prince saved 2018.’ … well, someone had to.” -Rose McIver

"Those look like uteruses. In fact, that looks like what my uterus does to me every month." -Trina, on Activision Boxing

“Don’t do ho shit during the summer.” -C

“We can afford shit now we adults!” -Melissa

“Hmmm… Hot Pot Spot. Dibs on that for a pop-up restaurant name.” -C

“I was talking to the golf coach. He said they were going to Hawaii, but they couldn’t practice because of all the snow. I told them… ‘Gotta get up to par!’” -Sarah

“INSP goes full cowboy. Here’s the thing that gets me tho… “The textured hat represents salt-of-the-earth people with heart and soul, who have put in a hard day’s work.” You, marketing EVP Hayes Tauber, are full of shit.” -C

“Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this Son of York...and now a brief word from Imperial margarine.” -Brian

Sonic Whammy: I have a question on the Covid tests...does it hurt?

Gordon: Well, sometimes, it's a light swab, and sometimes they jam it up your nose and take out a piece of your brain. In either case, for you it will feel exactly the same and you won't feel anything.

Chappy: “Little short until pay day.”

C: “I too am a little short until payday. Once payday hits I’ll still be short, but at least I can foot bills.”

“I learned that with game shows that if you want to get involved, you have to ask.” -TV’s Ryan Vickers

“The Jets will forever be the team that made Antonio Brown quit football.” -@TheJetPress

“It’s either streak or stink.” -C

“Remember, it's, "Goddamnit, JB."” -Ethan

“Remember, if you’re not having fun while playing trivia, you’re just answering questions.” -C, with apologies to Alvin Zhou

“I guess I wasn’t funny this year.” -Ken

—-

Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again… your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant.

Here’s to 2023. And as always, come together, just think of tomorrow.

[shizuyotoshisuta333]

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Night Shift Mayhem (Fem! Night guard Reader x Daycare Attendants)

ShizuyoToshisuta333

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You meet Moon, he doesn't seem pleased.

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This is a reader-insert type story, so I will write the reader-insert parts like so:

(y/n):your name (l/n):last name (e/c):eye color (h/c):hair color (h/l):hair length (b/s):bust size(chest size) (c/s):clothes size (n/l):nail length (n/c):nail color (l/c):lip color (b/t):blood type (f/s):favorite smell (f/t):favorite taste(sweet/salty/sour/etc.) (f/c):favorite color (s/f/c):second favorite color, (s/c):skin color(f/j):favorite jewel (f/a):favorite animal (f/f):favorite flower (f/w):favorite weather (f/o):favorite ornaments/accessories (it can be more than one.) (o/p):ornament place(hair/ankle/neck/etc.)(If you have multiple, just imagine where they all are.) (c/l):clothing length (c/c):clothing colors(f/d)favorite drink (f/a/d): favorite alcoholic drink

Yes, I know it's a long list. But, I wanted to give as much freedom to the reader as possible.

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Chapter 2: Crescent

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"I need to go wash my hands, they feel disgusting because I shook his hand earlier." I state as I turn away from the door and look at Sun, "If you feel like you need to then the bathroom is right outside the main doors, follow me!" He responds as he quickly snaps out of his daze, his sunrays start to wiggle a bit as he leads me, "Thanks, Sun." I say before I follow him.

*Attention Fazbear Friends! The time is now 11:30 PM, please proceed to the nearest exit so as to not be locked in after night procedures are in place! Thank you for visiting Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizza Plex™!*

"Well first shift here officially starts in 15 minutes, I should probably get ready to clock in." I say after our game of hide and seek, "Do we have to stop playing?" He whines as we head to the desk, "Don't you clock in on your Fazwatch?" He asks with a confused expression, "Vince said so. But I tried to check in when I was hiding, but an error came up saying that my watch won't be fully activated until next week. So I have to clock in at the computers instead." I tell him as I make my way to the other side of the desk. Sun leans on the edge of the desk and just looks at me while I sign in, "Sunny would ya stop, I can feel you staring at me." I say while not looking away from the screen, "What?" He asks loudly and I look up at him, "I said, I can feel you staring." I  respond and go back to typing, "No, not that. I mean what did you call me?" He asks while bouncing on his heels, "Sunny?" I question and his sun rays start clicking as they spin around his head, I giggle because of his sun rays and he blushes then his rays spin faster, my hair starts flowing in the wind he's creating, "Sunny, you gotta slow your rays down or you're gonna start flying!" I say with a smile, "I can fly without the wire?!" He shouts with a gasp. "Probably not, I said that as a joke." I giggle, "Aw, anything is easier than that wire." He says as he visibly deflates. 

･:*₊‧°~[🔆°･:*•.｡Pov Change｡.•*:･°🔆]~°‧₊*:･

"I need to go wash my hands, they feel disgusting because I shook his hand earlier." Y/n states as she turns to look at me, "If you feel like you need to then the bathroom is right outside the main doors, follow me!" I answer and quickly snap out of my daze, "Thanks, Sun." She says before she enters, I wait by the door till she comes out."Were you waiting for me?" She asks as she exits the bathroom, "Um yes, I do it because the kids. My programming kicked in cuz normally the kids are the only ones nice to me, well, nicer than adults." I lie in a flustered state. 

"Oh that makes sense, wait why do you specify nicer?" She asks."Because they're the nicest towards me, adults think I'm too hyperactive and the animatronics only interact with me during parties in the daycare, or when adults pay more money for one of them to be there. But just because they're the nicest doesn't mean they're all nice, 90% of the kids I watch with do bad things like trying to pull my rays out of my head one by one like what I've heard people do to a flower, they make a game out of trying to jump the highest with paint on their hands to mark where they touch and some jump just high enough to pull the cords out of my head, which is the whole goal of the game. They also used to play the same game but the goal was the ring on my back, when Fazbear Entertainment™ made our ring retractable their goal switched to the cords." I say while shivering."What. The. Fuck." She says with a blank expression, "Language!" I reprimand, "English." She states, Moon snickers in our head, "There's no cursing in the daycare!" I yell at both of them, "First of all, it's after hours and there's no kids." She says with her hands on her hips, 'She got you there.' Moon says with a chuckle, "Second all of the kids you babysit sound like little shits. You said 90% of them are bad. That means 1 out of 10 children are good, you have 37 children that you watch so that means in between 2 and 5 kids are good." She states with her arms crossed, "Third of all…" She starts and notices that I'm not looking at her, because I'm sitting, she can reach my face.

She grabs both sides of my face to turn it towards her, "No one deserves to be treated like that." She finishes with a serious expression, I blush at the closeness of our faces, and my rays spin because of her words, "B-but I'm not human, I'm a robot." I sigh after pulling my head from her grasp and looking away from her, my expression saddens, "You're not a robot." She states as she gently grabs my chin and turns my head to face her once more. "Robots are machines that are built to do what they're told without a second thought, you are an AI. You are capable of learning and making decisions, but you're not just a normal AI. I've only known you for a few minutes. But I can tell you have an AI that is so advanced that you are more human than a lot of the humans I know." She says that she looks directly into my eyes.

Steam puffs out of my joints at her praise, I start to panic and I stand up causing her to fall on her butt, "Oof!" She says but I don't even realize I caused her to fall because of my embarrassment and I quickly run back into the daycare and hide in one of the play structures.I hear her calling for me but I don’t move even a millimeter from my spot, she comes into my view as I’m looking through the bars on the top of the play structure, which is to the structure to the closest to the rainbow slide, I watch as she gets a smile on her face, ‘Look at her smile, it shines brighter than a supernova!’ I exclaim to Moon in the headspace, ‘I guess it’s fine, it looks like she’s up to something though.’ He responds.

“Ready or not, here I come!” Y/N shouts right before she dashes into the farthest structure from me, she haphazardly takes off her (f/c) heel boots and throws them toward the shoe cubbyhole, they land right in front of the tall, empty shelf made of squares as she drops to her hands and knees to crawl into the bottom of her chosen structure.She moves through the structure more quietly than we thought she would, we can’t even hear her breathing, she scampers through the different levels without making a sound, our only indicator of what structure she's in is when she scurries across the bridge connecting two out of the three colorful structures. She makes it to the otherside of the bridge and enters the middle structure, even with her in the neighboring structure we can't seem to pinpoint her besides the occasional glimpse of gold from the security badge clipped on her chest pocket. After a few moments we don't even see glimpses of her, it's like she completely disappeared from the Daycare. We scan the structure frantically looking for any signs of her, a grip on my ankle causes me to freeze and slowly turn my head to look behind me, I see Y/n looking up at me with a smirk.

I caught you~" She says in a teasing tone, my processors finally catch up to the situation and I squeak in surprise as I rotate my foot in their grip and I fall back onto my butt.A melodious giggle comes from the perpetrator of the scare, she releases my ankle and sits next to me. My shock subsides as she sits next to me but not too close, I think nothing of it as her giggles calm. 

“Sorry for just running off like that, I’m not used to people being nice and got overwhelmed.” I say not making eye contact, we sit in silence for a moment. I take a look at her and her eyes have darkened like she’s in a different world as she stares forward, I start to think I may have done something wrong until she breaks the silence, “I know what you mean.”The brief confession catches me off guard, ‘What does she mean, how can someone not be nice to her?’ I ask Moon, ‘I’m not sure either, tho, something seems wrong.’I turn back to her to ask if she’s okay but she’s already a few feet away, her (s/f/c) skirt is just long enough that her panties don’t show as she crawls in front of me. ‘I thought you made it against the rules, to think dirty things like that while someone is here, mister follows all the rules.’ Moon says as I stop in my tracks, ‘I-I’m not thinking anything of the sort!’ I shout in the headspace as I blush. ‘But seriously Sun, them of all people. You know better than that, why would she ever want an animatronic? I’m sure there’s a reason that she’s nice to us, perhaps Fazbear offered her more money if she lasted longer than the other daycare workers. Maybe she said that because she's feeling guilty.’ He scoffs in a flat tone. Moon’s words sink into my head and she goes down a slide as I snap back to reality and struggle to catch up with her. I fumble my way down the blue slide nearest to the door and follow her to the front of the desk.

She turns and looks at me like our conversation never happened, "Alright, my turn to hide." She states and before I can say anything she stalks out of sight, 'That just helps my point, she seems to be avoiding you.' Moon states with a smirk, "N-No she just wants to continue the game." I state defiantly then start counting to thirty.I hit thirty and turn towards the play structures and choose to look in the one I was hiding in last round, I come up empty after scaling through all three sections of the tunnels, "Maybe she's in the ball pit?" I question as I make it to the edge of the colorful sea of balls.

'She could've left by scaling the rainbow slide, she probably decided that the money wasn't worth it.' Moon rasps in the headspace, 'Everyone leaves us eventually, so don't get attached, all humans are the same.' Moon grumbles before slinking further into the headspace.His consciousness fades as he retreats to the one place I can't access in our head, his sanctuary, that's what he calls it. I continue looking for Y/n throughout the Daycare for almost an hour, I can't find her anywhere, I mentally knock on Moon's sanctuary door.  He comes out with a sigh, irritation in his code until he sees that I'm rocking back and forth in a corner of the play structures.''I think she did leave. Why won't anyone stay, what do I do wrong every time? I'm nice to everyone and make sure that I don't overwhelm them, I try so hard…" I say with a shaky voice, I start crying as I sit.‘The cameras in the lobby don’t show her leaving, and the ones outside the doors don’t have her on them except when she first got here and when you showed her to the bathroom. I also checked the cameras in the theater, no sign of her, the last thing any of the cameras catch is her going beneath the balls in the pit.’ Moon says, trying to calm me down. 

“I’ve checked the ball pit multiple times tho, and you know how thorough I am when I check in there.” I mumble to Moon through the tears. ‘Well then try going out there and saying that you give up.’ Moon slates calmly, I sniffle as I comprehend what he said.‘WAIT SUN THE-’ Moon shouts as I snap out of my sadness and go to jump to my feet, I hit my head on the metal above me, ‘Bars…’ Moon finishes as I hold my top rays.“Ow ow ow, I forgot I was in the play structure.” I mutter as I carefully make my way out, 'Clearly.' Moon sasses. 

I stand after I leave the structure I was in and shout, “I give up, you win!”, I hear a giggle and my rays start to spin, ‘She never left Moon, can you believe it!’ I celebrate in the headspace. I look where the giggle came from and my rays stop spinning, ‘How did she get up there?!’ I panic in the headspace, I see Y/n sit up from behind three clouds that are settled right under our stage. I grab my rays at the thought of her falling from there, ‘Sun, Y/n’s starting to get down, you wanted to see how she got up there right? Well now's your chance.’ Moon states. I snap out of my bad thought and watch as she walks to the smallest cloud in the attached trio, she jumps from it to the inner ring to get to the large cloud on the left of it. My eyes widen as she continues her venture, sliding between the two giant rings and making it from the large cloud down to the small cloud next to the fake sun in the wall. From there she grabs the outer ring and uses it to climb down to the mini play structures behind the ball pit, she jumps from the metal bar into the balls causing me to panic and run over to the edge of the pit. I stare at the unmoving colors hoping she’s okay, balls go flying as she pops out right in front of me. She giggles at my shock and gets out of the pit, she brushes off her skirt while being careful not to accidentally yank her black zirconium chain that drapes off her hip to the right and has gold suns, silver moons, and copper stars of all sizes attached along it. She looks up at me before the 11:30 pm announcement plays from the speakers, "Well first shift here officially starts in 15 minutes, I should probably get ready to clock in." She says as she starts to walk to the desk. 

･:*₊‧°~[⭐°･:*•.｡Pov Change｡.•*:･°⭐]~°‧₊*:･

After convincing Sun to not try and fly away with his rays we settle down and do crafts for a while and the lockdown alert has already come and gone, I stand up to stretch and check the time on my Fazwatch. “Oh, it’s almost 1:00 am.” I comment out loud to myself, "OH MY GLITTER GLUE! It's 12:53, you have to hide, and quickly before the recharge cycle!" Sun panics and starts to run away.I run after him and grab his wrist right as the lights shut off, I'm blind in the darkness as I feel his arm turn cold and he rips it from my hand."Hello?" I called into the darkness of the play room, "Sun, where did you go? Are you scared of the dark?" I shout into the pitch black.

I hear a raspy laugh as a response to my question, it sounded like it was coming from all directions as I slowly look up. There are stars lit up around the ceiling and the upper parts of the walls, the glowing sun that was once under the balcony is now a moon and some of the clouds have stars on them. It looks so pretty that I forget about the laugh, I lay down on my back and look up at the ceiling in awe. As I stare at the ceiling the temperature around me starts to drop, and I start to wonder.'The walls remind me of the night, but they look like the day when the lights are on, and the sun under the balcony is now a moon.' I lightly hit my fist to my hand as the information clicks into place.I quickly sit up and laugh, "Man that took me a bit to figure out, no wonder Sunny was flipping." I state out loud.

I stand up and start looking around, "Moon?" I yell, I hear the slight mechanical whir of his fans in the quiet room."Hello?" I called into the darkness of the room, then I'm reminded how stupid that was as I hear a creepy laugh. It sounds like it was coming from all directions as I slowly look up, I see him crouched in an inhuman manner on the top of a play structure. His eyes are a bright red that reflects off his pale face and sharp smile making it look like he wants to eat me, 'Maybe I want him to eat me~' My inner voice says in a flirty tone, my ears redden a bit at the thought.I clear my throat to push the thought away and prevent my voice from cracking, "So… Are you gonna stay up there?" I ask him as he stares at me.

He tilts his head to the right then bends his knees a little and launches himself into the air out of sight, he moves through the dark and I hear a low thump come from behind me. I go to turn but feel some pressure on my shoulder so I stop, I feel his presence loom over me as he leans next to my ear."You think you're clever, don't you? Trying to play nice with Sun, just like so many others." He rasps in it with irritation in his voice, "What?" I respond flatly and turn my head to look at him.His face is centimeters away from mine when we make eye contact, the blush on my ears return."Holy shit, you're really close." I say as he glares at me, "Why are you here? Was it a dare or did Fazbear offer you a bonus?" He questions me with hate in his eyes.

"Well I didn't get dared, I don't have any friends I still talk with from high school. The amount I'm getting paid for this job is complete bullshit, if I was being bribed I wouldn't settle for 14 dollars an hour, more like 37 just to fuck with them cheap ass people." I respond with confidence, a deep growl escapes him as he glares at me and rips his hand from my shoulder.He jumps back into the air and disappears within the dark, 'Well, Moon sure is… Something.' I think then turn to walk to the desk.

･:*₊‧°~[🌙°･:*•.｡Pov Change｡.•*:･°🌙]~°‧₊*:･

The lights finally turn off and I'm allowed to roam around the darkness of the Daycare, I yank my arm to release the night guard's hold on my wrist."Hello?" Her voice echoed throughout the darkness of the play room, "Sun, where did you go? Are you scared of the dark?" She says in a concerned voice.I laugh at the fact that she can still pretend in a situation like this, it seems to have surprised her as she starts to look up to find the source of the noise. She freezes in place as she sees the ceiling, she starts to lower herself to the floor without looking away from the artificial stars, I watch in confusion and interest as she does so. I slowly make my way closer to her as she stares in awe for a moment, right as I get a meter away from her and she puts her fist on her hand then jolts into an upright seat. I duck into the play structure so I'm not seen, she rises to her feet and surveys the room. 

"Moon?" She asks the dark, I remain silent as I sneak onto the top of the structure I was hiding behind. "Hello?" She tries to address me once more, I laugh at her pathetic attempts to get my attention. Her eyes widen a bit as she starts to look up at me, she stares at me for a second before my sensors pick up on her abnormal heart rate.'See, she's just as scared as everyone else when she looks at me.' I say to Sun in the headspace, 'Well maybe if you didn't contort your body every time you meet someone people wouldn't be as scared.' He responds in a mumble. She clears her throat and I draw my attention back to her as she stands there awkwardly, she looks like she wants to say something but takes a few more moments before speaking."So… Are you gonna stay up there?" She asks with only a small wave in her voice, 'She doesn't seem to be that scared, maybe you should try to be nice?' Sun says.'Nope! She's probably got motives, I wonder what she's hiding.' I respond and tilt my head then launch myself into the air, the wire hooks onto my back as I fly over her.I detach myself from the hooks and land right behind her, she flinches and starts to turn around but I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her. She stills and I bring my face next to her face, "You think you're clever, don't you? Trying to play nice with Sun, just like so many others." I say with malice."What?" I hear her ask in a deadpan then cranks her neck back, she seems shocked when our eyes meet then I detect another abnormality in her pulse."Holy shit, you're really close." She says and I analyze her expression looking for any signs of deception, "Why are you here? Was it a dare or did Fazbear offer you a bonus?" I say while staring into her soul."Well I didn't get dared, I don't have any friends I still talk with from high school. The amount I'm getting paid for this job is complete bullshit, if I was being bribed I wouldn't settle for 14 dollars an hour, more like 37 just to fuck with them cheap ass people." She snaps with confidence, a deep growl pushes it's way out my mouth while I glare at her then I yank my hand from her shoulder.I remove myself before I do anything rash, 'See, what did I tell ya!' Sun says, annoying me further as I slink behind the red curtains that lead to our room. I watch from the crack as she settles into the desk's uncomfortable looking office chair, I huff and close the curtains roughly then creep further into the room.

[maestro-of-clockwork]

[Oh this is gonna be one long ride, then-/j Im gonna try doing a more fast list about the Ocs here and how i imagine they would interact with Antonio, And maybe in the future im gonna do a more detailed version in rp or ooc (Tw of manipulation mention and also longass text)

Also all of these versions are like "Au" almost because their og version is your normal DHMIS goofy ahh bois Laurence - I've already showed a bit how much of an asshole he is and how he would interact with Tony in rp but oH GOD THERES SO MUCH MORE ABOUT HIM- If Lesley is the equal of a "God" to the puppet world, Then Laurence is the equal of literal Lucifer to them- Cunning, Puts himself high asf in a pedestal because he KNOWS he has much, much more power than anyone else, Wants to see everyone bow to him and Will play with your sanity like how a cat plays with a toy. But even thought he acts more "Nicer" normally, He is a lot more cruel and direct to the point when acting more agressive (aka he would totally place his feet on someone's head and squish it out of spite) OH AND I DIDNT EVEN TOUCH ON THE PART ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LINNA- THAT'S A WHOLE PIECE BY ITSELF- But explaining quickly how it is; It's him dangling a little light of hope that the loop will stop some hour or another if she listens to him, Making her basically his servent while she doenst notice he is the cause of her entire suffering- Theo - Already mentioned in RP, But he is like- The equal of Colin ig because he is a computer too- but he is so much, much more fucking bitchy and horrible that makes Colin look like a angel beside him. Manipulative, Sadistic to the point of being the word "Schadenfreude" itself, And even if he doenst show it, He could hurt people out of pure spite or boredom all because he can- I can imagine him and Antonio probably talking about the people they manipulated for own benefit or about their enemies, But just if Antonio is able to handle someone with non-stop ADHD behaviour and loud asf robotic voice (also that loves angering people with anything because, again, he can) Marie - Oh hey, That one who gave Linna trauma about medical stuff! Anyways; Your standart mentally insane nurse/doctor type- Always having a extended creepy smile, Having a questionable interest about dissections and vivisections, Acting SICKY, DERANGEDLY sweet and cute in the WORST times possible, And also doenst help that she has hands like the other mother from coraline true form- So maybe her and Antonio would go along really well? Who knows Lucy & Lisa - One is the embodiment of the universe and the other is fucking dea- i mean a spirit/j Ok but- Maybe those two would not really be the type to talk to Antonio, Maybe Lucy would try because he already talked with Laurence and all, And both are togheter so manipulative bitch going to see manipulative hubby's frienb :> Overall, Lucy is the more colder, Snarky type around others, But also would do a amazing "Rapunzel's mother" type if she had the chance. (*cough* linna *cough*) She can really put on a nice talk for hours and hours, And with that, Can get people on her cosmic web pretty well until some day she'll feel like crushing someone's hope- Lisa in the other hand is just- Too quiet and nice i think; They just want to chill around blooming flowers before winter comes and they needs to go help Coffin with all the dying people in the cold, So pretty indiferent about life and death. Rosé & Sabrina - Not really having much about these two interacting with Antonio tbh- Rosé is a literal cult leader like shrignold but instead about love its about the fame world and stuff and Sabrina is snarky and acts more like a popular teenager girl who loves picking on people even thought she is already pretty much an really old adult- And Rosé is the type of old gossipy man who wants to see his enemies fall without having to move a finger- Im gonna end here for now because i have more of them to talk about but it's already so long mjnhbgabhsnjd SORRY FOR LONG TEXT I JUST LIKE U AND THIS BLOG VERY MUCH-]

[[ first off, sorry for not responding rp-wise for so long, sometimes longer writing takes more outta me BUT i have the writing power(tm) now!

& from the sound of it, i think he'd generally get along with all of them! but also want to see what makes them tick, but that's just an antonio thing ]]

[ggstargetedlife]

New day, same bullshit, as usual 😏🙄

I told J, we need to stop entertaining the nightly back and forth with the V2K harassers. They use just about any and every heated response as ammunition to try and wreak havoc on us the next day. Besides that, it's much too time consuming when I'm trying to get to sleep.

This morning was the usual Sickening/Poisoning played out tactic through their technology. They're all still desperate to make me look a type of way to my folks, another one of their great deceptions 🙄 All to look and feel better about their own shitty lack of lives. I'm starting to give a damn less each day. J's knocked me into bad ass invincible mode; they're feeding right into our plan his plan so it's all good. The more they try to get rid of him, the more they're gonna be stuck with him in ways they would've never imagined.

The B.Y. neighbors are still talking their shit through V2K, even as I type this. Theirs is a never ending loop of failure and misery. Boring stupid shit that isn't getting them anywhere. They literally spend all day everyday in their house or backyard blasting me out, reading my thoughts through the RNM and and talking shit over any and everything that originates from my mind or mouth 🙄 I feel bad for them. They honestly don't see how loserish their efforts are making them. They do absolutely nothing worthwhile with their lives, but can't tell fools nothin,' they swear out their shit is so "cool" and "hot" like, "Oh my GAWD, we're soooo awesome because we've devoted every moment of our lives to trying to utterly wreck some fat, black chic's life!" Lol fr, that's how pathetic they come off. They're the kind of people I have every right to judge, because they've got every opportunity to do something meaningful with their lives, enjoying the time God has given them while genuinely making a positive difference in someone else's life if they so chose. They don't. They waste what they have, every bit of it, all to be cruel, cold and abusive to someone who's never done anything to them to deserve their blind hatred and jealousy. I'll always look down on people like that; they're trash, and if I was God, I would've killed them off a long time ago. People who get off on hurting and damaging others deserve death, plain and simple.

Anyhow, after laughing uproariously over their failed tactics last night, J and I figure they are now even more like dogs in heat, desperate to prove a point, "re-establish" their perceived power over us 🙄 From our ends, it's going to be another day of ignoring and Grey-Rocking them out as best we can as we continue pressing forward. If they want to be losers for the rest of their lives, that's on them. I've got goals to accomplish while they do all that.

As people typically do, when the day comes I rise and shine even more in ways they never imagined, they too will regret the way they've treated me. They're gonna wish they'd been nicer and respectful to "that Genesis girl." Even better, they're gonna realize they were wrong about me the entire time, as I've been saying since day one.

[prongsandhisfoot]

tbh as someone who actively ships wolfstarbucks and passively ships prongsfoot, i feel like people should be cautious when tagging their their ot3 ship fics with any of the pairings that “fit” into the ot3, if that makes sense? it is technically accurate and i understand why ppl do it, if you had asked me a month or two ago i would have been like, yah that’s always appropriate, but after entering a new fandom where the most popular ot3 sometimes gets cross tagged with the more popular main pairing and i kept having to see the ot3 when i didn’t want to i was like…okay that’s enough lol. it’s not that big of an issue yk like i said it is technically accurate but i made the decision awhile ago even before i had this realization that if i ever wrote wolfstarbucks and put it on ao3 i would not tag it with prongsfoot just because…well i’m not oblivious remus is not the most popular character with a good amount of prongsfoot shippers lol and i don’t think ppl should have to have unpleasant browsing experiences on ao3 if it can be helped by way of tagging properly. but even observations of individual shipping culture aside now i think i wouldn’t tag it with wolfstar or moonchaser either tbh like the ot3 tag is really just all encompassing and the rare pair tags get sooo bogged up. i don’t really seek out prongsfoot but the last time i checked out the tag on ao3 it was even more fucked than the moonchaser tag and as someone who hangs out in the r/s/j and r/j tags both seeing all the repeats is like…why lol.

honestly i’m not really sure where i stand here? the first thing i typed was all “eh nothing wrong with tagging for the pairings that fit” (i may not like wolfstarbucks but that’s my personal preference and it’s easy to exclude it!) but then i tried to recall the times i’ve read ot3 pairings and all the fics i liked only had the single x/y/z pairing.

tag cluttering in general is a turn off when i’m searching for fics (off topic but i wish there was a sort:otp that applied only to the relationship section so fics with minor x or past x wouldn’t get sorted out) and tagging the pairings of an ot3 is pointless for getting readers past that since people searching through just that tag would likely sort out the ot3 if they don’t want it...then again, if someone is open to it, it could attract readers 🤷

so i want to say just go out and do what you want, but realistically, i’d recommend just tagging x/y/x and not the ships within. it’s cleaner, it’s nicer, it’s safer. but nothing wrong with tagging the pairings either--some relationship dynamics are very much individually important pairings of two that end up fitting into a larger relationship, and in that case, it could be important for you to tag the separate pairings!

on the case of mistagging, the only thing i legitimately care about is when people just don’t tag the ot3 at all. if all they tag is the relationships within it. that’s genuine mistagging and also just dumb for them too

with that is a bit more preference-y but still--tag the ot3 / main pairing first please! it makes it a lot easier to skip past fics you don’t want to read and is also a lot better for readership since people looking for the ot3 will probably skip over fics they don’t want to read! lol. (this is an in general not to you anon i have no clue who you are and your tagging system seems perfect <3) if i’m looking for an ot3 and the first thing isn’t the ot3, chances are, i’m going to skip it. this applies to everything really

as for the unpleasant browsing experiences, i’d like to quickly add that though i may complain about non-prongsfoot fics on the prongsfoot tag i don’t actually mind them in a they-shouldn’t-be-here way if they’re properly tagged. if it’s platonic, then no, that’s not properly tagged. if it’s wolfstarbucks, it’s properly tagged (since it’s a personal preference thing i definitely don’t think it should be a mistag occurrence) and it’s my fault for not excluding if i get annoyed at it. just like i get annoyed if i see...dramione, or something, not because it shouldn’t exist but because my personal preference is that every single fic on ao3 has only the ships i like and none of the ones i don’t. but i understand that, unfortunately, cannot happen 💔 the day all 9 mil fics on ao3 are 100k+ prongsfoot fics is the day the world improves

finally, the remus thing! that’s kinda funny and you’re not entirely wrong but ngl most of the prongsfoot fics i see are heavily remus positive so while that may not be the case on here i think it’s hard to find any part of the hp fandom that actively dislikes remus! i personally just think he’s...overblown. not the right word but i’m shit at describing it. happens in a lot of prongsfoot fics too though

[meowitsmerida97]

Omegaverse Head Canons

Alphas:

On the top of the societal food chain. If they are male.

Strong, fast, with enhanced senses, and the classic knot

Numbers skew towards female alphas

While female alphas held some more power historically ie: medieval times a female alpha could rule a country and own property. They are generally just seen as bitches.

Male alphas that are the typical in charge personality type with the Hollywood Body are considered the 'Ideal Alpha'.

They have rut cycles, sometimes sinking up with sexual or romantic partner, usually twice or three times a year but it's not always about sex

They usually miss work, not because they are completely incapable of controlling themselves but because they are not taught how. There is a growing movement for teaching alpha females that they are normal and teaching all alphas how to control themselves while in rut.

Although some alphas actually can't control themselves no matter how much they try. They are called FERAL and are considered to be more like the original alphas that roamed during the prehistoric era.

Some extreme FERAL cases are on suppressants but they are, if correctly prescribed, only for use in the extreme cases and other therapies are recommended first which wasn't always the case.

There are also cases of alphas, generally single parents, nesting which is creating a den type space to protect themselves and their pups.

Alpha males when distressed and/or alone with a child are more likely to nest, and several families have funny little anecdotes about dads being left while the mom left on a business trip and found their husband/ partner nesting

Generally alphas, no matter the gender, are more likely to gain muscle and be more of a muscle bound body type.

But this isn't the rule and there are small alphas which are generally a very controlled and dangerous subset of the alpha population because they find ways to make up for their small size and limited muscle.

Fem α x Fem Ω cannot produce any other children than female

Fem α do NOT posses a Y chromosome

Follow the Punnett Square of Logic people

Fem α have a hard time conceiving a child and giving birth naturally and some Fem α don't even have functioning wombs

Was thought that alphas being born from betas were the strongest alphas. Actually for the purest alpha genes you need to be born from two omegas as the omegan genes cancel each other out and only leave alpha

Almost everyone has the potential to become an alpha or omega during puberty and even later in life following a tragedy.

Betas:

Don't actually have an active Secondary Gender Factor

About 40% of the population fall into the Alpha/Omega category, the rest are betas and/or children who are not yet presented

Kind of act like a stabilizing and logical spot in packs

Often seen as thirds, and the calm parent that pups go to

They are often taught, especially girls, that outbursts aren't acceptable, especially after failing to present early as a beta or alpha

Often are considered great strategists due to their lack of rut and heat clouding judgement

However they are not genetically predisposed to intelligence. They can be as dumb as anyone else.

They often fill the nerdy friend roles in TV Shows or are seen as sidekicks.

Also are often 'forgiven' [read: condescended too] about not picking up on scents and certain nonverbal cues that alphas and omegas use that the beta really… doesn't

Generally don't create children with Alpha or Omegan genes, but that's not always the case.

Beta females face the same issues surrounding gender and expectation as normal women do

So do guys because they do face issues ladies.

Pretty much are just like normal people idk

Omegas:

‘Ideal' omegas are seen as nice and submissive and good homemakers

However science would say that the closest to a true prehistoric omega are FERAL omegas

Like Alpha FERALs omegas are put on suppressants in extreme cases

There are also terrifying anecdotes of soliders 'going omega' which means experiences their first heat on the battlefield which are called 'Battlefield Omegas'

Battlefield omegas were more typical when younger people, mid teens, were set off to war see Wars of the 1600's through WW2

There have also been cases of people trying to force a heat in soldiers during dangerous situations due to the sheer viciousness and violence they can let out

Omegas are treated worse than female betas, as they were legally property for much longer historically and had practically no rights until the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's.

Women's Rights and Omega's Rights are kind of different things even if male omegas are like women, but there were several issues just as there are today between the two groups.

They have the classic enhanced senses and seem to process information faster.

They are often brushed off as weak and tiny but if they were to get into shape many omegas would find themselves nearly as muscle bound and fight ready as alphas

Omegas had to both keep up the Alphas and protect the young. You probably don't give one part of the population huge muscle upgrades that sounds stupid.

Alphas might hunt but omegas protect the homestead and they do so viciously and with absolutely no mercy.

Generally omegas are coddled and the whole Princess thing has produced some truly terrible omega stars.

They have heats which is just a time when they might be a little more hot and bothered and fertile than normal. Generally omegas are taught control is paramount when it comes to heat.

They will also sync up with their alphas, but an omega will go through a psuedo heat during pregnancy and the first few months of their pups life to keep hormones in check but will actually nest instead.

Female omegas are ideal and that leaves many males omegas, especially the less androgynous and more obviously male omegas, feeling like they are ugly and/or unlovable

Alpha/Alpha pairings result in the most purely omega children although many of these parents are surprised when their child isn't an alpha

Generally because a pure omega isn't a nice, submissive creature and are instead hearty and dangerous in a fight with a demanding personality

Omegas are more likely to be men because why would you make someone extra fertile (Can you even measure that? Maybe less likely to have multiple births? Idk) rather than increase your pool of potential mothers

The more dangerous your home country is the more likely you're going to be born or awaken as an omega/alpha rather than a beta

[ff-imagines]

uhm this is embarrassing thing to request but,,,,,,, how bout u know,,,,,, nsfw alphabet/scenario/hcs with blobster. 👁️👄👁️. I'm sorry.

Boston lobster: nsfw alphabet

Minors dni xoxo

A - aftercare

Admittedly kinda sloppy, it doesn’t occur to him that he should probably check up on you till he’s like “oh shit humans need water” and he suddenly shoots up to grab some and come back to you lmao

If you explicitly ask you get no back talk from him, he just carries you where you need to be and makes sure you’re feeling alright.

Will be endlessly prideful if u say you can’t walk, express your soreness at your sanities risk bc he’ll bring it up for ages

B- body parts

Oh he’s got no shame to tell you he loves your ass and thighs. The type to walk by you and give you a tap on the ass while smirking to himself. Doesn't matter how much or how little you've got he’ll still ask at least once if he can fuck your thighs lmao

Does his height count? He loves how he towers over most humans and food souls alike, chances are he’s probably taller than you, and he really likes that. Sulks a bit if you’re actually taller than him lmao.

They aren’t his favourite part of him but I gotta talk about the antennae. They’re weirdly sensitive, pulling him makes him squeak, which ends with him chasing you or with him chasing you, take your pick. When he catches you he makes it his goal to find a weirdly sensitive part of your body and to tease that spot endlessly. Tickle fight ensues but it’s more like you’re suffering while he’s maniacally laughing above you.

C - cum

It’s thick as fuck and very salty, rip lmao

He likes to cum inside or on your thighs, look they’re very squishy and nice ok he can’t help it </3

He’s also obsessed with not only making you cum, but just… your cum. Amab or afab readers, he will delight in making you watch him swallow. Would also bring his hand up to make you taste yourself, grinning the whole damn way.

D - dirty secret

He’s really affected by scents. If you have a signature perfume or cologne you wear all the time it can make him unbearably horny, since the smell lingers on his sheets and on his clothes long after you’re gone.

E - experience

A fair amount, out of curiosity. Not too many times as he’s spent a lot of years in total isolation. His curiosity is a more recent development, he finds he likes the feeling but something is just missing from his hookups. Then he meets you and is like “ohhhh a relationship is what it was, damn.” Once he realizes that, and even a little bit before when he first starts noticing his internal unease, the hookups stop so he can figure out how to swallow his pride and try and ask a human out lmao

F - favorite position

He loves doggy style because it’s just so so easy to control you that way. He loves to pull you back by your arms, spearing inside you at a punishing pace.

He also would love if you were flexible enough to push into a mating press, getting right next to your ear, whispering about how close he is.

G - goofy

Surprisingly, yea! He’s actually pretty good at making fun of himself, he just doesn’t do it often and doesn’t like it when someone he’s not close to does it. He gives little teases here and there, it eases tension quite a lot.

H- hair

He doesn’t shave for shit lmao. Intense happy trail, intense amount of body hair over all, he actually prefers it that way.

He keeps the same energy with your body hair and will come out and tell you he kinda likes it if you don’t shave. Ultimately he doesn’t think on it too hard, it doesn’t bother him in the end, whatever you want, he wants too!

I- intimacy

He’s not so good at being truly intimate, it’s just not something he’s used to being. If you ever, by some miracle, convince him to let you top him, he’s actually a lot softer and it’s easier to let his feelings speak for him. He also discovers he likes getting dommed a lot but he won’t tell you that lmao

J- jerk off

Not too often, he’s either super busy or he could just find you and solve the problem in an even more satisfying way.

If he ever can’t, expect him to grab one of your shirts to press to his nose as he fists his cock, the feeling of being surrounded by you is enough to help him finish when he desperately needs it.

K- Kinks

Well, the scent thing ofc.

He’s really into risky sex, a true exhibitionist. He’s hot, you’re hot, who wouldn’t want to see you both put on a show? If it gets it into their heads that no matter how bad they want you, you belong to him, your place is right here, getting split apart on his cock, he’ll make sure the message gets across.

Huge breeding kink. Hates the idea of kids but really likes the idea of claiming your insides. He’d love to push you into the mattress and release as deep as he can go.

He’s into humiliation as well, let him tease you while calling you his sweet little whore, he'll make it worth your while.

He’d love if you let him tie you up, he’d probably get into doing fancy designs that accentuates your body in the best way. A pretty rope to tie up and dick down a pretty s/o.

Also I can’t look at his skin where he’s got that suit on and not know he’s got a daddy kink, I just can’t. He doesn’t care for anything other than the title, it’s more about power than anything else. Call him daddy in public and watch how fast you get taken to a more private area. Or, maybe a less than private area, if you’d let him.

He’s got a thing for size difference as well, he loves to loom over you, even if he isn’t actually bigger than you.

L- location

Anywhere, anytime. He’s a prideful bastard, he’ll show off his ability to get you drunk off his cock any way he can. Not only isn’t there a spot in your house he hasn’t fucked you on, there probably isn’t a place on your street either.

M- motivation

What really gets him going is seeing you when you're at your most confident. If you come to him beaming about winning an award, wearing an outfit you feel great in, even if you just say something cocky, it just makes him so proud and eager to share that confidence with you. He doesn’t want to break you down, he wants to prop you up! Tell him about how good you feel, he’ll make you feel even better <3

N- no

As much as he likes to show you off, he doesn’t actually like the thought of a third party joining in. He might be swayed if it’s someone he really trusts. He also doesn't like receiving humiliation, he’s much too prideful lmao

O- oral

Please suck him off, he’ll be kinda rough with you but he’ll be nicer if you ask. He prefers to be mean though lmao. He likes ordering you around on what to do when you’ve got his dick in your mouth, his words get more incoherent the closer he is, though.

He’s just as eager to give you head too, he treats you like a whole 7 course meal. He loves biting around your thighs before ever touching where you're desperate for him to.

P- pace

Oh he’s punishingly hard. Loves to have a fast steady pace then stop as deep as he can and roll his hips a bit to make sure you feel just how deep his dick is inside you.

There are rare days when he’s feeling soft, those days he’s slow and methodical, gripping into your hips to make sure you can’t wiggle to increase your own pleasure, he wants you to savour the high he gives you.

Q- quickies

Well, why not! So what if you’re in an alleyway near a busy street, and anyone can walk by and see you getting pounded? You’re feeling heated aren’t you? Don't kid yourself, just turn around and let him take care of you.

R- risk

He lives for it. If you’d let him he’d bounce you on his cock in a plainly public place, like a subway car.

It’s a big fantasy of his for someone who absolutely pines for you to flirt just a little too hard, you coming to him and letting him fuck your right in front of them. It fuels his pride beyond belief to show you off.

S- stamina

His refractory time is fairly low. Even if he...can? doesn't really mean he wants to. He prefers either one drawn out, long round where you’ve both been edged to the point of desperation, or a few quick rounds throughout the day.

T- toys

At first they kinda hurt his pride but then he’s like “wait I can strap them on a vibrator and just sit back and watch” and then he’s totally on board lmao.

Forcing you to sit on a chair with a vibrator he had the remote to, keeping you on the edge and smirking while you beg and snivel, having no actual plans to give into your pleading.

U- unfair

Oh fuck yea, strap in babes.

He loves loves to edge the fuck out of you, he’d drag it out for hours if you’d let him. Even better if he can tie you down so you can’t squirm away from what he’s giving you.

Overstimulation is just as exciting to him, but he actually loves it more on himself. Sometimes he’ll overstimulate himself on purpose by still continuing to buck into you even after he’s already cum, determined to chase a second high no matter how painful it feels.

V- volume

Loud groans, and he won’t stop talking. Loves to ask you questions when you’re clearly way too blissed out to answer in any sort of coherent way.

He gets a lot louder near his release, he loves to bite into your shoulder to try and muffle himself. If he decides to be bold and let you hear him, he grabs your jaw and brings his face right next to your ear. What a show off.

W- wild card

He kidnaps small items that remind him of you, not just things that smell like you. That one earring you always wear, a glove, a necklace, picks flowers that remind him of you for whatever reason, he might even go out of his way to buy things that remind him of you, keep them to himself for a while, then give it to you when he’s sure it smells enough like him. He gives your stuff back… eventually.

X- X Ray

Oh please… he spits, sweats, and bleeds big dick energy. I refuse to believe his dick isn’t big enough to make you nervous. Would have you sit on his lap and track a finger up your stomach to measure how deep his cock can go.

Y- yearning

He’s pretty likely to mold to your sexual drive. However often you need him, he’s at your beck and call. He likes to keep it closer to 2-3 times a week if he can.

Z- zzz

He doesn’t sleep all that easily at all, but it gets a little easier when he’s got you in his arms. Prefers to be big spoon, and as much as he hates getting overheated, he just can’t will himself to let go of you. It’s ironically one of the most peaceful sleeps he’s ever had.

[mrsmctominay]

sanch fluff alphabet pls xxxx

Fluff Alphabet- Jadon Sancho

A- Activities He loves being in the kitchen with you. He will always be looking for new recipes for dinner or baked goods that you can cook together, or if you're already cooking something he will find a way to help.

B- Beauty Your determination in life is so attractive to him. The way that you won't give up until somethings done or you will always go back to fix it if it's not done correctly. You will never leave something half done or half asses. It gets done right or not at all.

C- Comfort Jadon isn't AMAZING with feelings, but he sure tries his best. He thinks that he doesn't do a good job but there has never been a time that you've been left upset when he's around. He will pull you into his chest and stroke your hair until you've calmed down before talking to you to try and figure the situation out.

D- Dreams He doesn't talk to you much about the future, but he definitely think's about it when he is alone. He constantly imagines having a little him or you running around and what you would be like as a mum.

E- Equal Jadon is the type of guy that wants the media to think he's the dominant one, but deep down he is a big softie. He prefers when you take the lead when it comes to decision making and how to solve problems.

F- Fight He hates to admit when he's wrong, so he always expects you to apologise first. Sometimes you wait it out and won't talk to him for hours and usually he will apologise because he doesn't like not talking to you and he gets annoyed when you tease him for owning up.

G- Gratitude He is very good at acknowledging that you make him a better person and that you lit up his life from the moment you met. He tells you everyday how amazing you are and that he loves you.

H- Honesty He tells you everything and if he doesn't, its' because he forgot. He loves to gossip but he doesn't even realise he's doing it most of the time, it's just normal conversation for the two of you at this point.

I- Inspiration You inspired him to become a nicer and more open. Before, Jadon was quite cold and reserved. He didn't really speak about anything to anyone but now he's a lot better. The only thing he wants to work on is talking about and understanding feelings.

J- Jealous

Jadon has full trust in you so he knows that you're just fucking with him when you talk to guys in the club. He always dart's a dirty look towards anyone that looks at you with googly eyes.

K- Kiss

He was already practically an expert when the two of you had your first kiss, you however were not. He took it slow with you and told you exactly what to do and if you were doing a good job or not. It wasn't awkward at all because he made you feel so comfortable before and during the kiss.

L- Love

Jadon confesses his love through money. He would buy you anything you want in a heartbeat. You don't ask for much which annoys him, so usually he just buys whatever he thinks would look good on you or what he thinks you will like.

M- Marriage

He does want to marry you, but you've never really spoke about it. He wants to propose at some kind of party, be it your birthday or a christmas party. He wants to do it with all of your friends and family around.

N- Nickname 'My princess', 'My baby', 'little one' (these are the ones from dating would include). These are the ones he uses on the daily, he changes between them depending on what you're talking about but you always know what to expect.

O- On Cloud Nine He always brags about you to his teammates, like they can't get him to shut up about you. If he hears someone talk about something you like or if they do something that you do, he jumps right at them and lets them know. It's very clear that he is in love.

P- PDA He likes to show others that you're his and only his. He will wrap his arm around your shoulder/waist or hold your hand and if you've been out at night he will carry either you or your shoes.

Q- Quirk He's good at sensing when you're upset or uncomfortable in a public setting. He will either whisper reassuring things into your ear or give you a text to let you know that it's okay and that he is there.

R- Romance He's romantic in a funny way. He will buy rose petals just to spell out dirty things on the bed, or he will send you links to cheesy love songs when he's away. He never fails to put cute captions on posts/instagram stories of the two of you though.

S- Support He is 100% your biggest fan. He is always there to cheer you on. He supports you during your highs and lows and never fails to make you believe in yourself.

T- Thrill He will try something new but only if you want to. If it doesn't appeal to his s/o then it doesn't appeal to Jadon. So he definitely doesn't mind routine but he likes change every now and then also.

U- Understanding Jadon knows you well, like, way too well. He pays attention to you so well that its imprinted into his brain what you need at what time. It makes you feel comforted that he pays attention to you as much as he does.

V- Value Your relationship is one of the most important things in Jadon's life. He cannot imagine his life without you as you play such a huge part in it. You and his footballing career are level with each other in terms of most important, but as soon as he gets to where he wants to be, you will be no1.

W- Wild Card He always falls asleep on you. Whenever he gets home from training or a match he comes right over to you and falls asleep. It's hard to get him to move but as long as he's happy then...

X- XOXO Of course! I mean, this is Jadon were on about. He's just a big baby who would rather lay on you until your whole body is numb than anything else.

Y- Yearning He gets super grouchy when you're apart. He finds himself snapping at his teammates every so often or will be walking about with a sour face all day.

Z- Zebra He's not big on wanting a pet right now. Of course, in the future he wants something, maybe a cat.