#it makes me so mad that i just wanted to stay a little bit overtime to catch up on a few things and she wouldn't let me

[fazcinatingblog]

Imagine if out of all the mistakes I've made, the things Sophia thinks I'm doing wrong, the one thing that gets me fired is that I don't agree to the boss smoking in the office.

[miguelhugger2099]

Omg first off LOVE!!! your wiring literally *chef’s kiss* imagine Miguel x reader suggestive smut where they’ve been both super busy and haven’t had time for each other and tension has been building up to this point.

Worth the Wait

nonie im gonna sob. not only was i so excited to see you be my first ask, this is also my first ever written smut!! aaaa im so nervous so please have mercy !! i jumped on my laptop as soon as i saw this and its so late right now haha im a little tired but i didnt want you to wait at all !! im not sure if i wrote too much or too little lol regardless i really hope you enjoy and if not i'm more than happy to make something else and thank you sososo much for the compliment <3333 the ask wasnt specified if it was fem!reader or not so i made it gn!reader just in case <3 Miguel x GN!Reader, Smut, too embarrassed to proofread it, Word Count: 3,681

“Hey, Miguel, do you think you could stay late tonight? Boss wants you in the lab for testing.” A short woman popped her head in his room, her hair neatly tucked in a high bun. Miguel stopped his pacing in his office, his glasses lifted on his head using it as a headband to pull back his fringe. He placed the beakers in his hands down and took off his gloves while ruby eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. He was supposed to leave in a couple minutes.

Miguel’s eyebrows scrunched up, tsking under his breath and turning to look at the woman. “Can’t someone else be there? Peter can oversee it instead.” He pleaded, exasperated. She gave him a sympathetic look and sighed.

“Sorry, Miguel. He specifically asked for you.” Not wanting to be the bearer of bad news anymore, she slipped out the door and shut it behind her, leaving Miguel to groan and slump his shoulders. He stared up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, breathing in and out to calm his anger. It seemed like these days all he ever did was overtime at work. He fiddled with the golden band around his left ring finger, his other hand twirling it mindlessly for some comfort and also a silent apology to you.

His heart ached as he made his way to his desk, picking up his phone and dialing your number. He licked his lips while he brought the phone up to his ear. Miguel wasn’t prepared to hear your voice, happy and hopeful and only be met with disappointment.

“Miggy?” You answer happily. A small smile forms on Miguel’s face.

“H-hey, baby. You doing alright?” He asked, taking a seat on his swivel chair and leaning back to stare at the photo of you two on his desktop.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m finishing up dinner. Are you on your way home?”

Miguel’s smile dropped a bit, realizing once more why he had called in the first place. “Um, about that, mi corazón. I have to–”

“You have to stay the night, don’t you?” You cut him off, disappointment evident in your voice. Miguel’s heart clenched at the sound.

“I…I do. Believe me, I don’t have a choice or I’d be there in a heartbeat.”

“It’s okay, really. I’m not mad or anything. This month has been hectic for both of us. I just… I just miss you is all.” You speak softly over the phone. He missed you more. He wanted to be there.

“Lo siento, bebé. You know how much I hate being away from you.” He apologized. “How about tomorrow, huh? I have off. We can go out and get a drink. Or maybe stay home? I know how much you love my cooking.” He offered, his heart beating faster at the thought of spending time with you again. That feeling sank when he heard you let out a quick puff of air in annoyance.

“I can’t. I’m working this weekend. Six days in a row,” You rolled your eyes just thinking about it. Your job always had a way of pushing your buttons. Miguel’s jaw clenched as he heard you. Miguel never really liked this recent event of work taking up his time from seeing you. He hated it even more when your job took you away from him. “God, I really thought we’d have tonight together at least.”

Miguel was quick to reassure you. “Hey, hey. Listen. We’ll have a day together. Eventually there’ll be a day for just us–all about us, I promise.”

When Miguel had arrived home, it could barely be even classified as night time with the way the sun had been peeking through the horizon. He dragged his body through the door, a cold home awaiting him. After kicking off his shoes, he dumped his coat and bag on the floor and made his way to the kitchen, eating the leftovers of the dinner you two were supposed to eat together before trudging back to bed. He saw you lying there on your side and he felt exhaustion drag him down.

Miguel slipped in under the covers beside you after striping himself of his clothes, leaving him in his underwear and slipped his arm around you. He pressed your body flushed against his, Miguel’s larger body enveloping yours protectively. His nose buried itself in your neck, his lips grazing your shoulder. His hand rubbed your stomach and then slid up to rub up and down your waist. Sneakily, he ran his hand under your shirt while his lips left small kisses on your neck and shoulder. You stirred awake as you felt the sudden touch of someone else.

Miguel felt you move so he pulled you tighter to him, keeping you caged in that position. “Mig…?” You called out sleepily. You felt something poke you from behind and groaned. Miguel continued to kiss your neck, his teeth coming out to gently nip at the skin making you shiver. He simply hummed his response.

“‘M home.” He murmured. He slowly turned you on your back, towering over you slightly with your leg between his. Miguel’s arm rested by your head while his attacks became more intimate. You leaned your head back, allowing him more access and his other hand on your hip squeezed you in appreciation. You bent your leg up on the bed slightly, your knee caressing his growing bulge in his boxers. Miguel let out a low groan, his hips grinding on you for some friction.

Your hands finally reached up to his hair, curling your fingers around his soft wavy brown locks. Miguel took this as an opportunity to capture your lips with his, muting the soft moans you were letting out. His own knee spread your legs apart, rubbing in between them to add to your pleasure. You felt a jolt of pleasure run down your spine, bucking your hips up instinctively. Miguel sighed against you, his hand on that had been gripping your hip, moved down to the hem of your pajama pants. He teasingly pulled it down, letting it snap back to your body and making you whine. You felt him grin through your kiss. Cheeky bastard.

Before he could ease his hand down your pants, your alarm had blared through the room, shocking the both of you and separating yourselves off each other. Miguel scowled while you clambered up to grab your phone. “The hell was that?” He grunted, displeased with being interrupted. You fumbled with turning it off, placing a hand on your chest to calm your fast beating heart.

“My alarm. I have a morning shift.” You moaned, tossing your phone back on the counter and standing up from the bed. Miguel blinked twice before getting up with you. He reached out his hand to grab yours in an attempt to stop you.

“Woah, woah, hey–what’s the rush?” He asked, turning you around and cupping your cheek. “We can at least have these couple minutes, can’t we?” His voice dropped an octave, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek. Miguel tried to kiss downwards but you stopped him, albeit unwillingly.

“Amor, you know damn well how Nueva York’s traffic is in the morning. I’m not gonna be late and get my ass in trouble ‘cause you can’t keep it in your pants.” You slipped from his arms with a playful roll of your eyes and walked to the kitchen. Miguel scoffed, slightly offended, his eyes watching you walk away and looking down at your ass.

“Don’t act like you weren’t enjoying it.” He grumbled, looking down at the tent in his boxers wondering what to do with it now.

For the next week, it had been nothing but just pure torture. With the month making you and Miguel work away from each other, this week was stretching that limit. When Miguel worked in the morning, you’d work at night and vice versa. Each time without fail, you managed to slip in a few teasing touches. Waking up Miguel by sitting on his lap and peppering kisses on his cheeks with his hands grinding your hips down on his hardening cock. Miguel cupping your ass and giving it a squeeze when you came home from work while he was on his way out. Both of you were on the brink of breaking by this point. These small acts were supposed to tame the fire within you, not burn it brighter.

Eventually, it was finally your day off after a long weekend. A break from customer service and passing out as soon as you got home. Miguel had work today but he texted earlier that he’d get off on the hour he was supposed to this time around. You felt bad. He’d been working so hard and today had been no different. He took a shift earlier than usual so he could come home earlier without anyone being there to suddenly ask for him to stay. Lord knows he’s pushing those forty hours into overtime.

From the bedroom, you heard the door open, keys jingling as it was turned to unlock it. You got up from the bed and peered out the door, seeing Miguel kicking off his shoes and coat while tossing his bag carelessly on the living room chair. “Welcome home.” You greeted him. He dragged his feet closer to you with his head down, the top buttons on his white button up were popped open, exposing a glimpse of his collarbone. Miguel immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you in for a comforting hug. You followed suit, hugging him back since you sensed he probably had a rough day. He hummed in response, settling for resting his chin on your head. You stayed like that for a while just holding one another until you felt his hand run under your shirt to feel your soft skin against his calloused hands. They continued up and up your spine until your shirt was lifting up with him. “Miguel.”

“What?” He grumbled. One hand slid down under your pants, getting a quick feel of your ass and pulling your pelvis to him. You gasped and tightened your hold around him, feeling the warmth of arousal ignite in your stomach. “I need to have you. I can’t wait any longer.” His soft touching became more possessive, roughly grabbing your ass and tugging on your shirt and pants.

“Miguel.” You repeated his name, this time in a whimper. Your own hands slipped down his collared shirt and lightly scratched your nails on his large back which made him shiver. He pulled back and you saw his eyes hazed with desire, pupils blown wide.

“Please…” He whispered, his lips brushing up against yours. Your hands fell to his buttoned shirt as you looked up at him. Your heart raced in your chest–the sheer want of having you all to himself finally after weeks was too good to pass up. You nodded and the pleading look on Miguel’s face dropped as he immediately bent down to kiss you. You let out a squeak of surprise between his lips right before giving into his needs and kissing him back.

He tugged your pants down to your ankles before lifting you out of the puddle of clothes and bringing you to the bed. Once you were laid on top, you watched Miguel fumble with his belt. His large hands quickly unhooked the metal making it chime and the soft zipping sound of the leather sliding out his belt loops. He practically ripped himself free from his clothes, not even unbuttoning his shirt and just lifted it up and off his torso. You saw his girthy length, standing tall and proud with a slight red color tinged at his tip while the rest of him was a slighter darker color than his skin. His tip was already oozing with precum. A sight you had always welcomed. It became clear to you that Miguel had been thinking about this for a while–maybe all day. Miguel crawled on top of you, helping you out of your shirt and underwear and kissing you again while his hands roamed your body.

“I’ve waited so long. Did you miss me like how I missed you, cariño?” He sighed between your lips. Your hands clutched his shoulders, one leg hooking around his waist.

“Always.” You whimpered back.

“On your knees. Now.” He growled. You felt your heart skip a beat, another heartbeat going straight to your core. Stumbling, you got off your back and got on your hands and knees like Miguel wanted. This position has always made you flustered. It was both embarrassing and exhilarating not seeing what Miguel could do to you, or even get to put your hands on him–solely relying on feeling.

Perfect timing, his hands met your ass, grabbing them and massaging them. “So perfect,” He murmured. His finger grazed your aching hole where you were the most sensitive, purposefully teasing the nerves on your body. He took pleasure in the way you writhed beneath him, succumbing to his hand. His thick cock rubbed up against you, smearing his leaking fluid on you for even better access. Then ever so slowly, gliding in his fat weeping tip inside and penetrating your walls.

You both moaned in unison. The feeling of being stuffed was like finally feeling that last puzzle piece snap in place. “Uff, fuck–I’ve missed you,” He groaned, his breath shaking as he leaned over your body. His one hand held the headboard in front of him while his other hand held the plushness of your hip tightly. Miguel’s body was shaking as he entered you slowly, stretching you out after a long time of not seeing each other like this. You whimpered, falling from your hands onto your elbows as you shook with him. “Ease up, cariño, así es.” He praised, leaning back to watch his cock disappear inside you. His pride swelled at how easily he seemed to slide in you even after so long, his mouth curling into a sly smirk.

“Mi–guel…” You choked out a moan. You whined and gripped the pillow underneath your head tightly in your fists. You had forgotten just how huge Miguel was, his covered bulge was nothing compared to the real thing. Panting, you heard your heartbeat in your ears, turning your head to rest your cheek on the pillow.

Miguel’s hand left the headboard by this point, choosing instead to rest on your back, running down the curve of your spine to press your head down. You whimpered and clenched around him which made him let out a string of curses under his breath. You felt him push himself to the hilt, his balls gently smacking against the curve of your ass. He groaned, his hand on your head gripped your hair to still himself from pounding you immediately. The two of you stood there, breathing heavily while you felt each other. You could feel him throbbing inside you, twitching ever so softly. Miguel bit his lip to hinder himself from cumming on the spot with your walls convulsing around him, weakly attempting to suck him in deeper.

You wiggled your hips, bucking them back against Miguel with a pathetic whine. “M-move…plea–” You got cut off when Miguel slipped out of you, and then he slammed back inside making you scream and shake. He then began a steady pace, enough for movement but not as quick as you wanted. Still, you mewled and clutched at the sheets while his cock was ravaging your guts. The hand on your hip wrapped around your lower stomach, his bicep flexing as he held your weight up to fuck your from behind.

“Too long. It’s been too fucking long since I’ve fucked this needy hole properly.” Miguel sighed, huffing with each thrust of his hips. Your eyes rolled back and your jaw slacked open. Skin slapping echoed in the room along with the wet smack of sweat between your bodies. It was a symphony of lust and desire. An aching instinct to be reunited like this. You pleaded for more–a little quicker, a little harder– and Miguel who loved you so much didn’t want to deny either of you this ecstasy. He then used both hands to grab onto your hips and started to drag your body back and forth on his dick, drilling himself in you like a toy. Miguel used up all his frustrations of not being able to see you all this time, his eyes drinking in your writhing form while he bucked into you abandonly.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck–Miguel…!” You squealed, involuntarily squeezing him which made me grunt and buck his hips faster. You babbled nonsense while your core bubbled up the feeling of an orgasm. You screwed your eyes shut as you allowed Miguel to hump against you. He leaned over you again, pressing kisses on your back, murmuring things you could barely hear over the sound of your own moans.

Suddenly, Miguel had pulled out again leaving you feeling empty and light headed while the feeling of an impending orgasm disappeared. He let go of you, your hips bouncing on the bed without the support of his strength holding you up. You opened up your eyes, glazed with pleasure and shakily tried to look behind you. Before you could, Miguel took your body and flipped you on your back. It all happened quickly before you could even register what was happening. He took your legs and tugged your body closer to him like a ragdoll. He spread them wide then pressed them up against your chest. You lolled your head up and you saw his fringe had fallen to his forehead, sticking to it with his sweat. His chest was heaving up and down, the glow of the moonlight highlighting the carvings of his muscles perfectly–it made your breath hitch.

Miguel then loomed over you, nuzzling his head into your neck again. You leaned your head to the side making him gain more access to you. His teeth bit your soft flesh, his lips suckling your skin to leave tiny bruises along the side. “Ah–” You squirmed and gasped when you felt Miguel slide back into you again. You quickly wrapped your arms around him, your hand running through his already messy hair. You pressed his head closer, your eyes opening up hazily to stare at the ceiling while Miguel starts his pace again.

“So tight, just f’me, hm? You have no idea how much–” He moaned in between speaking, the lust clouding his mind. “H-how much I needed you. I should’ve just brought you to work, bend you over my desk and fuck you however long I want,” He shuddered at the thought, his hips stuttering while you whimpered and arched your back off the bed. “Oh, you like that?” He grinned, his voice oozing with arrogance. You nodded, your eyes shutting closed again and desperately lifting your hips to match his thrusting.

“Next time, bebé, next time. I promise. You’re doing so, so, good. You feel so good.” He slurred softly, his hips snapped harder, his cock twitching and swelling inside you.

“Mig–Mig–I can’t,” You moaned, your screams getting louder the harder Miguel went. “Oh, god, Miguel!” Miguel kissed you, swallowing all your moans while he slipped his tongue in your mouth. Your eyes rolled back and your legs wrapped around his waist the moment he let go of your thighs. His hands traveled around your body, feeling the shape of your silhouette back into his memory. He grabbed at anything he could hold onto before curling around your ass for a small squeeze.

He pulled away from the kiss, breaths mingling for a moment until Miguel rested his forehead on your shoulder. Your hands raked down his back and you dug your nails into his giant back, leaving streaks of red in their wake from scratching him. He moaned from it–the pain only adding to his pleasure-fueled mind. Miguel peppered kisses on your shoulder, making his way down to your chest.

“Miguel, I’m so close–so, so close…” You whimpered.

“I know, ángel, me… me too. Solo enfocate en mí, hm? Just let me have you.” He pleaded, his rough moans turning into whimpering as he neared his end. You responded with a weak ‘uh-huh’ then clinging onto Miguel for support.

He murmured in a jumble of Spanish and English, his breath hot on your neck while you screamed and pleaded for more, how good it felt, anything to get both of you going. Miguel lifted your lower half up, relentlessly pounding into you while he cursed lowly, burying his head in your shoulder again. You felt the bubble in your abdomen about to snap.

“Miguel, I–!” You tried warning him but instead the waves of your orgasm flooded your body, cumming on Miguel and making a mess between your legs. You twitched around him, milking his cock for all it’s worth. Your legs shook until you went limp, fucked out of your mind. Miguel whined, speeding up to catch his own release.

“Fuck–!” He moaned, feeling his cock pump out his creamy fat load inside you, painting your walls white. Miguel’s entire body tensed up, stilling up against you while he slowly came down from the high. His strokes gradually slowed down, pumping the final ropes of cum, while he softened inside you, huffing and puffing with you. He shakily but carefully pulled out of you after a few moments. You whimpered when he completely left you with a soft wet shlick.

Miguel fell beside you, exhausted and spent. Still, he reached for you, bringing your shivering body in his arms. You curled yourself in his chest weakly, feeling his hand play with your hair. He kissed your forehead, basking in each other's afterglow. He brought the covers up over you two for some extra warmth.

“I’ll…get us cleaned up in the morning…” He huffed with a tired smile. You grunted in response, too numb to speak but satisfied nonetheless.

can you tell this is my first smut? hahaaaa dontanswerthatillcry

[jayke0]

Do You Feel... Weird?

Pairing: Marc Spector x fem reader

Summary: kinktober day 4, Sex Pollen 

Rating: 18+

Warnings/content: sex pollen, chubby reader, yearning finally comes to fruition, friends to lovers, grinding, lots of swearing, protected sex (the pill), p in v, creampie, multiple orgasms, fucking everywhere, lmk if there's anything else i should add :).

Word count: 1,532 (yes they're getting longer)

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.

…………………………………………….......................

"What the fuck was that?" You ask, choking on the fine dust that'd just been blasted in your face.

Marc looks at you with concern and shakes his head. "Shit, I don't know, just stay there ok? Sit down." You feel his large hands push you down till you're sat on the cold stone and you roll your eyes; what's the point of him asking if he's just going to do it anyway?

You shouldn't be mad at him actually, you love how concerned he gets for you when you're on a mission together.

You watch him slink off, which is shortly followed by grunting and crashing and a whole lot of yelling, most of which is Marc's, but eventually he comes back, seemingly choking on the same stuff you'd been at the mercy of.

"Got you too huh?" You chuckle a little, since he always has a bit of a god complex about being able to fight anything and anyone.

"Yeah—" he rubs his throat with a wheeze, "c'mon, lets get the fuck outta here."

The drive home is quiet, but you keep glancing over at the man; is he getting hotter by the second? The way his curls are still sticking to his forehead is something you'd usually fix for him by pushing them out of his face, but right now it's just making you bite your lip. You notice how the veins and muscles in his arms are more prominent.. are they always like that? It's as if his blood is coursing through his body faster and harder than usual. His T-shirt is sticking to his body, exposing his toned chest and arms—

Good God, you wanna fuck him.

You're too busy eyeing him to notice the way that he's glancing at you himself, his eyes quickly switching between the road and your thighs, the way they're squished against the car seat makes his cock twitch in his jeans, and he has to rest his hand on his crotch just to hide his growing bulge.

"Marc, do you feel any... different?" You ask tentatively as you approach your front door. Usually this is when you'd say bye to him, but you just wanna drag him inside and make him fuck you over and over till you can't walk anymore, it's…

"Weird, yeah." He answers, and it's only when your eyes curiously drop to his crotch that you notice he must be feeling the same as you. "Oh, thank fuck." You chuckle; certainly the first time you've been relieved by an unwarranted boner.

"Sorry, I dunno what's wrong with me. Imma go home now, lets just pretend this never happened." He waves his hands wildly, which gives you the opportunity to grab his wrists.

"Please don't go... I—I want you." You mumble to him before slamming your lips into his.

Marc lets out a reassured sigh against your lips as he kisses you back with the same furiosity, his hands cupping your face to keep you there so he can lick into your mouth and taste you better.

Somehow, you make it all the way to your couch without tripping backwards, though maybe Marc's strong grip is enough to keep you from falling, instead pulling you towards himself as he scrambles to sit down and have you on his lap. You pull from his lips just to latch on to his neck and graze your teeth across his tanned skin. "What... was that stuff?" You ask as you lick at the salty skin.

"Dunno... some kinda aphrodisiac I guess." He responds while helping you pull your jacket off and rolling his hips against yours, which in turn makes his cock grind perfectly against your clit even through both of your jeans.

"Fucking hell, Marc," is all you can reply, your nerves feeling like they're on overtime as his tip butts that bundle of nerves. Honestly, you could just grind on him till you cum, but the isatiable feeling to have him inside you seems to be growing stronger by the fucking second.

"Shit, you're fucking hot like this, grinding against my cock, does it make you feel good?" You nod and Marc's hands roam underneath your shirt before pulling it off, exposing your chest spilling out of your bra due to not having readjusted it since the mission. "Oh fuck, your tits are just—" he doesn't get to finish his sentence before he's burying his face between them, biting and sucking whatever flesh he can get his mouth on while his other hand his occupied with groping your hips and tummy.

You groan softly and tug at his shirt to finally take it off as well and reveal his toned body. "Hooooly shit, Marc," you chuckle a little. "God damn, you're beautiful..." Your fingers run up and down his chest before your hands come to rest on his shoulders.

"Fuck me Marc, I need you inside me, like right fucking now."

Marc doesn't waste another second before he's tossing you back on the couch and practically ripping his jeans off. You can see how his cock is throbbing in his boxers and leaving a wet patch of precum, the sight makes your mouth water; if you didn't need him inside you so bad you'd offer to suck him dry instead… maybe later.

He's seemingly resorted to making animalistic grunts and growls as he hungrily scans your body and pulls your jeans down, just with a little more care than he did with his own, but your underwear doesn't get the same treatment. He literally tears them from your body which makes you gasp in surprise, and then whimper, fuck he's so hot like this. 

Somehow, he also manages to wiggle his boxers off during that, exposing his length to you, and fuck is he big. Usually you'd find a man with that size intimidating, but Marc has never looked more attractive to you, and the way his tip weeps for you only makes you squirm more and pull him down into a heated kiss.

"Wait wait..." he pants against the heat of your mouth, "are you on anything?"

You groan, but you know that future you will appreciate the fact he asked. "Yes, so just put it in already." You tug his hips and his cock notches against your clit, making you jolt and whimper and resulting in a moan from the man.

'Finally, fucking finally', you think to yourself as his fat cock slides inside you, stretching you out to the point it makes you tense up.

"I know, I know, just relax. I know it's a stretch... but fuck you're squeezing me so good." Marc moans, sliding deeper inside you until he eventually bottoms out.

You already feel fucked out just from the size of him, but as he draws his hips back and the blunt tip drags along your g-spot, you grip his shoulders to ask him for more; and he obliges.

Marc's pace is relentless, his hips working to fuck you open and practically impale you, and you love every second of it, your cunt twitching and throbbing around him. Your throat feels like it's throbbing as well, what with how loud you're moaning, each time his hips collide with yours it sends sparks through your entire body and yanks a strangled noise out of you.

It's barely been a couple of minutes before you're cumming hard on his cock, clenching around him and causing him to come undone too, filling you with more cum than you've ever felt spill from a guy. You don't feel him go soft though, instead it feels like he gets impossibly harder, and he gives you pleading eyes.

"Please baby, fuck it feels so good, lemme fill you up again." He says breathlessly.

"Ok, give it to me Marc, over and over." You reply, and he draws another orgasm out of you in just a matter of minutes.

You continue like that for the rest of the evening, you're bodies slapping together and filling your apartment with filthy noises while you use almost every surface available to you.

You fuck over the arm of the couch, Marc groping and marking the flesh on your ass and thighs as he ruins you from behind and makes you grip the couch pillows so hard it could tear the material. Even the floor isn't safe; you'd migrated to it after your legs gave out and couldn't hold you up any longer, so he simply laid you down with your ass in his lap and fucked you like that.

After hours, the effects finally start to wear off and you both end up collapsing on the couch again, this time to sleep. When you wake up you're greeted with a now fully dressed Marc cleaning you up gently. 

"Don't move, don't want you straining yourself, just stay there, ok?" He pats your thigh and helps you pull a new shirt on "I'll look after you, it's the least I can do."

'Maybe I should go on more missions with him', you think to yourself as you close your eyes again, a big smile spreading across your face.

…………………………………………….......................

Prompts by: @/flightlessangelwings

Tagging people: @cowboymarcs @sad1st1c-wh0re @poopoobuttsy @boredzillenial @mllover260 @simpforbritgents @saevenswelt @partssoldseparately @keira-kaz2y5 @theincredibleinkspitter @l-lune @red-hydra @queerponcho

[maladaptivedaydreamers]

Pent Up Marriage (Arranged Marriage! Ayato x Reader)

Synopsis: You desperately want to make this marriage work, and after he cheated on you multiple times, you made the numbing decision on how to save it. It works! However, you’re now like a puppet to your husband, growing numb and emotionless. Ayato, on the other hand, seems to enjoy it.

Direct Quote: “Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye. He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."

TW: Non-con, Dub-con, Harsh s3x, Abus3, Groping, Somno, Forceful, Manipulation, Cheating

After another stressful day at work, you come home feeling stressed and tired. Your husband, Ayato, seems to be having another “overtime” at his office. You clean up, tidy up the house, do the laundry, cook dinner. Eventually, Ayato comes home, disheveled and upset, as usual.

“Hey.” He uttered, removing his shoes as he entered the apartment.

“You’re home.” You said, walking up to him and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Part of the routine. As you did so, you see a small red mark on his collar, lip stick. “Take your shirt off.” You simply say, unbuttoning his shirt.

Ayato looked confused and irritated as he looked down at you. “What?”

“I said, take your shirt off. You don’t want it to stain, do you? Red pigment is hard to wash off if it dries.” You say, blankly. You’ve gotten used to his cheating ways, and all you wanted to do was adapt to it.

Ayato rolled his eyes before harshly unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it to you. “There, whatever.” He uttered before heading to the bathroom to shower.

As you tossed the shirt in the washing machine, you were thinking of a way to stop him from his affairs. After all, if his and your family were to find out that he was looking for another person to fulfill his desires, you’d be in big trouble.

Whatever, you still had some work to do anyway, you should just think about it another time. Focus on your laptop and let your husband do…whatever, I guess?

Soon, it was deep into the night and you decide to head into your shared room. Or you would consider to be just Ayato’s room.

Ayato's room was neat and tidy, with only a few books scattered on the floor with the covers facing up. His bed was made with sharp creases and the sheets were tucked firmly around a big pillow. Atop his desk was a large PC setup, the lights softly illuminated the room, and in the far corner, a door leads to another room in the house, the bathroom.

Ayato was already under the covers, his arms folded underneath his head and his eyes closed tight. He didn't turn to look at you and stayed silent, pretending to be asleep.

You were still restless, as you let out a yawn as you get into your side of the bed, sitting up and leaning against the headrest. You spend a few minutes looking over and reviewing some files. Ayato pretended to stay asleep, but one of his eyes peaked open as if curious about what you were doing. The faint glow of your phone screen caught his attention as he moved his head slowly, peeking just a little bit more. Why would you still be awake?

Soon, you fell asleep. You shouldn’t have forced yourself to stay up so late. That’s what Ayato thought, that you were always killing yourself by working too hard for a job that you cared too much about. Ayato sighed, getting out of bed. He walked over to you, picking up the documents before covering you with a blanket and laying them down on the small table next to your bed.

He leaned down to your ear and whispered, "Good night."

He turned off the lights, then headed back to his room to do the same. The two of you slept soundly at opposite ends of the house, not bothering each other for the rest of the night.

Not for long though…

Suddenly, your phone rang, your stupid boss again. It was 5am! Why would he be-

“Hello?” You answered, why did you answer? Your eyes were squinting from being suddenly woken up, “Sir, I got the files back earlier, I’ll deliver it when I get to work later. …No, I can’t deliver them now, I just got back home…Thank you, goodnight.” You sighed, knowing it will be another heavy day.

Ayato woke up with a start, but kept quiet, listening to your end of the phone call. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you were up. He remained silent for a moment, but eventually spoke up.

"Bad news, huh? Can't sleep?" he asked, looking towards you in the dim light of the room.

You were startled, and also a little guilty. “Shit, did I wake you up?”

"Yes, but don't worry about it." Ayato sat up and put his feet down on the floor. As the two of you sat on opposite sides of the bed, he spoke again.

"Does your boss never let you rest? Or maybe you're just bad at your job." He chuckled slightly, and you noticed a slight annoyance in his tone.

You hum a simple, “Mhmm.” as you rest your head onto your pillow.

"You were out all night and now your boss wants you to go to work? Is this the life of my wife? To be some company's dog you can just go around and do your boss's dirty work?" Ayato smirked and leaned back on his elbows, amused by his own sarcastic comment.

You didn’t know what to say, frankly, your mouth just spoke whatever your mind processed first. “…Oh..have I been neglecting you?”

Ayato let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, seeming a little irritated by your comment.

"We're in this marriage just because our parents wanted us to. We're not in love," he said, speaking bluntly.

"So it really doesn't matter if we neglect each other or not. Besides, this is a loveless marriage, and neither of us loves the other. That means we have no obligations to each other."

You nod. “…Do you feel neglected? Which…makes you cheat?”

He seemed to be annoyed, which caused him to ramble on and on. "Do I feel neglected? Pssh!" He paused for a moment before continuing. "You know what? Not really. I don't rely on you to fulfill my needs."

"And you're right, I have been seeing other people, but don't mistake them for being my lovers!”

You sighed, seeing he wasn’t answering the question. “So…are you? No judgement, really. It’s okay to admit that you’re…you know…needy.”

Ayato's eyes widened for a moment before he stared at you in shock.

"Needy? What are you getting at?" he asked, trying to hide his annoyance. "I guess so.... Yeah, I am. What now?"

“It’s just an observation, you know. You’ve been kissing me on the cheek, waiting for me to get home. It’s unusual for you to do that….” You say.

"Don't get the wrong idea," he scoffed, his voice becoming louder as he raised an eyebrow. "Just because it's an unusual night, does not mean I care for you." He hissed the words with such intensity. "It's just that...I felt like it, that's all. Get that into your head." He sighed again. His annoyance was starting to fade into a sadness, but his attitude remained rough and cold.

“…Thank you for telling me.” You sighed.

You thought for a minute…

He was needy… So he had affairs… Ah…now you know what to do.

“Hey…Ayato.” You sat up, meeting him eye to eye.

Ayato turned to look at you, his eyes still filled with annoyance and disappointment. "What do you want now? What else is there to talk about?”

You thought for a moment before saying, “You can always let your frustration out on me, you know?”

Ayato's face tightened. He looked as if he wanted to strangle you in a moment of rage. "You want me to let my frustration out on you? Just because we're in a loveless marriage, which makes you think that I get the right to abuse you?"

“Eh?” You look at him. “You don’t have to abuse me, you can just…release pent-up frustration.”

Ayato paused for a moment and lowered his voice, staring at you with slight confusion.

"You want me to hit you, or something?" Ayato scoffed, amused yet slightly confused at your suggestion.

“No..something like this.” You muttered before leaning in…

…and kissing him.

Ayato looked surprised as your lips touched his. For a second, he was caught off guard, but his lips soon parted, and he kissed you back passionately.

The taste of you was familiar, as one hand reached down as he kissed you, caressing your cheek, brushing your hair behind your ear; his other hand placed gently against your shoulder. He broke the kiss and sighed softly, looking down at you, his cheeks flushed.

“See? …Just like that.” You said, staring up at him blankly.

Ayato chuckled softly. "You really had me going for a second." He smirked and looked at you, shaking his head.

"Thanks." Ayato seemed to have calmed down, but he still looked tense and stiff, as he sighed again. "You were right. I may hate it, but I am needy. And you're the only person I can go to for it."

“Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye.

He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."

The next day, you get home from another hard day of work, working a little later than usual. You opened the door to your house and sighed. It seems that the day was longer than you thought. As you locked the door behind you, you realized that it had become much darker outside. A cold breeze came through your open jacket, and your arms quickly began to get goosebumps.

You quickly turn around. Ayato was standing there, right in behind you, with a deadpan expression on his face. His arms remained crossed the whole time, and you noticed a slight anger in his eyes.

He cleared his throat and stared at you directly, his tone still dry and annoyed. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"You're late." he said bluntly. "I've waited for you for hours, and yet you're...late. Did I give you permission to get home late?

You sighed, “Sorry, they made me do overtime.”

Ayato continued to look at you with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "I hope they gave you some decent compensation for making you work late."

He paused, "You'd better make up for that by coming right here and serving me the second you get home, you hear me?"

He raised his voice as he stepped closer to you.

"Do you understand, dear?" he muttered in a dry tone before looking away.

“Oh, I see what’s happening here.” you muttered before you leaned in and kissed him, placing your hand at the back of his neck.

He soon returned it. He placed a hand on the back of your neck as well, pulling you closer to him and gently guiding your body to the wall as you kissed. After a moment, he pulled back and looked at you, and you noticed his voice was softer than before.

"Good girl."

“You seemed to be frustrated… Bad day at work?” you said, looking up at him.

"You could say that..." The corners of his mouth turned up slightly into a dark smirk.

"So, why don't you go make me feel a little better?" This time, the sinister look was back on his face, and a twinkle of anger and resentment shone in his eyes. "I'm sure you can make up for being late and leaving me all by myself, can't you?"

You knew what you had to do, you leaned in to kiss him again, and he let you. Ayato soon grabbed you by the waist and led you to their bedroom, locking the door after he pushed you into it. Ayato smiled as his lips parted to break the kiss.

"You're good at making a man happy, you know? Keep up the good work." He chuckled darkly, as his gaze lingered on you for a moment.

“I promised you, didn’t I? You can take out your frustrations out on me.” You panted, out of breath from the kiss.

He smirked and nodded. He looked at you in a way that conveyed his expectations. As he stared at you, you could feel his impatience, and his desire for control. "You know what to do after that." Ayato watched you as you took off your blouse. He soon reached out and started caressing your chest, his fingers running across your skin as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

His tone and expression were still serious and cold, but you noticed the slight signs of pleasure written on his face.

"More...I still don't feel satisfied."

You unzipped your bottoms as he continued to watch you. As your skirt fell to the floor, Ayato's eyes widened slightly and he smiled.

"Good girl." All of the anger was gone from his tone and voice, and you could hear a twinkle of desire in his voice. "That's a good girl."

You slowly sat down on the bed, and Ayato took a moment to look you up and down. His voice was now a little softer, and he smiled at you. His eyes were glued to your underwear and black tights, and you could already feel his desire growing. He soon stood up, and looked directly at you. He slowly pulled off his suit jacket, his eyes still focused on you all the while. "Now, then...why don't you get comfortable for me?"

He could only smile as you layed down on the bed. He slowly started walking towards you, taking off his belt and tossing it to the side. His dark gray dress pants were soon following it, as a mischievous look crossed his face. He climbed on top of you, his body covering yours, as you felt him place his hands on your waist. He sighed and slowly got comfortable, leaning down towards you. You could feel him start pulling off your tights, and his eyes became fixed on your skin. Ayato sighed, and a smile crossed his lips as he reached out and placed a soft kiss on your inner thigh. His hand slid back and forth across your skin, and you could feel his breath coming in slow, shallow breaths. He chuckled darkly as he looked up at you, and spoke in a low, dark voice.

“Such…a good girl…”

He began to kiss you again, as he trailed from your lips, to your neck, to your breasts. “Last time we did this…I don’t even remember.” He chuckled, pushing his band underneath you to get to your back. And in one swift motion, unclasped your bra. He tossed it somewhere in the room before continuing to kiss your chest, massaging the other with his hand.

“A-Ah..” You let out from the sudden feeling.

His hands trailed down to the waistband of your panties before pulling them down. “Spread them for me, hm?” He grinned as you did as you were told. “Good girl…good wife.” He said before slowly pressing a finger onto your hole causing you to whimper a little. This only made him chuckle as he pushed a finger in, slowly pumping it. “That’s it.” He said, kissing you to muffle your voice.

One finger became two…then became three as your whimpers turned into moans. “Shhh, calm down, hun.” he laughed. “That should stretch you out enough. Feel good?” He looked down at you, but you were unable to answer, still panting.

“Well, I’ll assume, okay? Now..make me feel good.” He asked, leaning back to show you his bulge. His cheeks were red as he still had that grin on his face. You nodded as you unzipped his pants, causing his dick to spring up. “Miss this?” Ayato chuckled, tapping his dick on your lips. “Go on then.”

You opened your mouth, slowly taking him in your mouth. God, you forgot how big he was. It has been a while, for sure. You take him in slowly, finally taking him in fully.

“Yes~ So…good. This is nice.” he said, letting out a sigh. You slowly bopped your head back and forth as he let out a few satisfied moans. As you kept going, you suddenly felt his hands push your head deeper.

“Mmhph?!” You gagged, but it was no use as he continued to thrust into your mouth.

He moaned happily, “Ah, shit~ That’s right~ I forgot how good your fucking throat is.” he moaned.

You felt him coming close as you felt him twitch inside your mouth. He pulled out, panting. “That’s…that’s a good girl.” He said, slapping you on the cheek softly as you coughed and breathed for air. He pushed you onto the bed, pulling you into another aggressive kiss and he trailed his hands on your hips. Ayato pushed himself in the middle of your legs and without hesitation, starting aligning his dick to your hole.

“Ah, shit!” he hissed as he had troubles pushing his tip inside you. He let out a few cursed laughs before saying, “You know, I really thought you were cheating on me too, just to get back at me. Ah!~ But…you’re so tight…fuck! It’s…a shame you’re not using this.” he mocked you, as he pushed in deeper.

“A-Ah! W-Wait!” You said, gripping his shoulders as he pushed deeper in you, your back arched as a few more inches entered you.

He bottoms out on you as he let out a moan. “Ah!~” he grinned in satisfaction, his dick resting inside your tight pussy. “Shit, you’re good.” he uttered as he started thrusting in and out of you, not giving you time to adjust.

“Fuck, you’re good, such a good wife.” He moaned, spreading your legs apart even further. He continued pounding into you, your whimpers turning into teary moans as he kept going. “Tsk, tsk. Don’t cry now. If it makes you feel better…you feel better than those bitches I cheat on you with. Hm? Feel better?” He sounded like he was mocking you, insulting you or something. But either way, you continued to moan as your legs went limp. He placed one of your legs on his shoulder, thrusting in deeper into your tight cunt.

Your body felt hot as you trembled underneath him. You were wondering whether or not this was the right decision or not. A mixture of pleasure and pain ran across your body, but soon, a knot was filling your stomach. God, it’s been ages since you last felt something like this. Moan after moan after moan, you couldn’t stop as your hands gripped the sheets. You couldn’t even make out words when the knot in your stomach unwinded, releasing an orgasm which made you arch your back and cried out.

“Oooh~ Shit, was that an orgasm? You’re so…weak..! It’s been what? 5 minutes? Feels so good, huh? Wanna tell your husband how good he is? Hm?” He laughed as he continued to pound into you.

He watched your breasts bounce as he pushed his cock in and out of you like an animal in heat, he wasn’t stopping. “Damnit.” He uttered out as the grip on your leg and waist tightened, he was getting close too. …And so were you.

“Fuck, fuck.” He uttered, his fingers digging into your skin. He leaned down as he sucked on your neck, leaving a few marks. His lips trailed back onto yours as your tongues danced.

You let out a cry of pleasure as another coil unraveled inside you. And this… this pushed him to the edge as he thrusted one final and harsh thrust, painting your insides white. “Ah, fuck!” He growled, spasming a few thrusts to ensure he’s in you.

You pant, seeing your surroundings close in on you as you feel exhausted. Your limbs go limp and your chest rise and fall.

Ayato looks down at you blankly…staring at you as you’re covered in sweat. Your legs drop and fall flat. But after a few seconds, he puts them back on his shoulder. “No, no, no… we’re not done. No.” He shakes his head. He no longer had a grin on his face.

It was just filled with cold-hearted desire.

And after 4 rounds, he pulled out of you, his cum bursting out as soon as he did, dribbling on the sheets.

Ayato was breathing heavily, his heavy breaths coming and going in fast, shallow breaths. He took a moment to catch his breath, smiling as he looked down at you.

You were laid down on his bed, tired and exhausted from what had just happened, and you noticed Ayato's eyes staring down at you in satisfaction.

"You...didn't disappoint," He smirked.

"I hope you'll be more ready next time." He paused for a moment as he rolled his shoulders. "Now, why don't you get some sleep?"

You mumbled a small “Okay…” as your eyes were already shutting.

Ayato's eyes lingered on you for a moment, before he got up and went into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came out, cleaned and dressed up. He slowly walked closer to you, and sat on the side of the bed.

He stared at you for a moment, and smiled softly.

"You're really are tired. You were a good girl tonight, you know." He sighed as he leaned over you, and kissed your forehead. "Try to get some rest, alright?"

This continued on and on and on and on, no matter if it was on your way to work or when you’ve just come back. It was like routine already. If you noticed Ayato was cranky, you’d be making out in no less than a few seconds.

One day, Ayato returned at 10pm, looking tired as he dropped his briefcase on the floor. He was still dressed in his work clothes, and the look of disdain on his face had grown even stronger.

He was exhausted and tired, and the light in his eyes was almost gone. He sighed quietly as he walked to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets for a drink. He looked over at you, and his lip curled up in contempt.

"What do you want? I'm not in the mood to talk." His tone was cold and dismissive.

“You okay?” you ask from the living room.

Ayato turned around and stared at you, his gaze still filled with disdain.

"I'm fine. I just had a fantastic day at work." He took out a bottle of vodka and opened it, pouring himself a cup. He sighed as he poured himself a glass, and then drank the entire glass in one go.

"Why do you care, anyway?" He turned around and leaned against the counter, his tone growing even more cold. "Do you really care about how I feel?"

You pause, thinking of the right thing to say. “…Depends if you want me to care.”

"I'm your husband."

His tone was stern and slightly aggressive, and he soon set his empty glass aside.

"You should always care about how I feel. After all, you're my wife." He sighed, and a hint of anger could be sensed in his voice. "If you're not going to care, then maybe you should just leave."

“…You okay? Seriously, you can tell me.” You look over at him, lightly concerned.

"I'm fine..." A sigh of disappointment escaped his lips as he reached out for the bottle of vodka and refilled the cup.

"Just let me drink in peace. I don't want to talk about it." His tone was still stern and serious, as it had been in the morning. He had just had an awful day, and he wanted to spend the rest of the day drinking to make himself feel better. He was just hoping that you wouldn't keep pestering him as he continued drinking his vodka in silence.

You let out a sigh before walking up to him, taking the cup away. “That’s enough.”

"Hey! Give it back to me." You could see the light of anger in his eyes as he looked down at you, his lip curling up in a snarl as he glared at you. "I said, give it back to me." He glared down at you, as he reached a hand out and started trying to grab the cup from you.

You sigh as he leans in to take the cup back, so you lean in close…kissing him.

When you leaned in to kiss him, the light of anger in his eyes changed to a light of passion.

He couldn't help but let out a moan as his lips met yours, and he pressed himself against you. He pulled his hand back from trying to grab the drink.

"Good girl."

He pulled away from the kiss and smiled softly, as he brushed a strand of your hair aside.

Ayato smirked at you, as you could see the light of amusement in his eyes once more.

"Good girl. This is what I've been waiting for all day," he chuckled.

As he spoke, he went in for another kiss, much deeper than the first one and with far more passion.

Do you see what I mean? This was everyday with him. And it was…all your fault. You suggested this, and he just took the chance. It didn’t matter where either. The kitchen, the couch, the bathroom, the car. You would always comply. Even if you said…

“Ayato, not today…”

“Ayato, I’m tired…can we not do it today?”

“Ayato…please don’t?”

It would always end in you and him fucking ‘til his heart’s content.

But you were successful though, in making him NOT cheat. He always came home early, looking for you instead of some other girl. That’s a good thing…right?

But don’t worry! He would reward you. Every time you two are done, he would lay beside you, propping himself using his elbow and whisper…

“What would you like for your reward? Anything in the world…”

“You want a diamond necklace?”

“Does my good girl want a new car? New shoes?”

“I’ll get you whatever you want.”

That’s a good thing, right? He’s…being nice? He’s spoiling you, like a husband would.

But deep down, you were getting tired. Not of him, but of…this. Not mentally, but physically. Because soon…

…You can’t sleep.

Why can’t you sleep? You close your eyes and see nothing, you can’t feel anything. You wanna sleep. But you can’t. Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep?

One day, you come home from work, exhausted and a little emotional, cause your boss is a bitch. Ayato was on the sofa in the living room, reading another newspaper. He looked up as you came through the door.

"Are you home early today, my love?" He smiled, still showing no true warmth or affection in his tone. “Is something the matter? You seem quite tired..."

He chuckled, before speaking again. "Ah, who am I kidding? You always seem tired...You just can't get enough sleep, can you?"

You stay silent for a moment before walking up to him…

And hugging him?

"Huh?" He was shocked by the sudden hug. "Is something the matter? Why did you hug me so suddenly?" His voice was calm, but there was still an air of resentment and malice. He was clearly not in the mood to care about you. He sighed, but continued to show an indifferent or annoyed look.

"I mean, it's a good surprise I guess, but it's not normal for you to show affection, so I'm a little surprised..."

“Please…be quiet. I just…need someone right now.” You uttered, as you stared into the floor.

"Hmph..Fine..." His voice was quiet, but it still carried a dark undertone to it that made it obvious he wasn't happy.

He sighed, before looking down at you and speaking once more. "Just so you know, it's not like I'm enjoying this. I'm just doing it because you've had a rough day, that's all. Do not get this mistaken for affection, Y/N."

He looked at you, his expression remaining cold and indifferent. "Is that clear?" In which you simply replied with a nod.

"Well, at least you understand..." He put his arms around you, and rested his head on yours. Despite the tone of his voice and the expressions he made, you could tell he was trying his best to be comforting...although he didn't seem to have much experience with this.

After a stressful day, a few tears dripped off your eyes as you rested against him. He noticed you crying, and sighed.

"Hm...are you okay?" His voice didn't sound like it normally did, but instead of being cold or sarcastic, it was a bit warmer than usual. "You seem a bit upset..."

He paused, before speaking again as he pulled your chin up a little. "My goodness, you look so miserable...You've really had a bad day, haven't you?"

You straightened yourself up, brushing off the tears before standing up. “I’ll head to bed now…goodnight.”

“Hey- Wha-“ He looked confused as he watched you walk to your shared room.

"Alright, then..." His voice was a lot softer than it normally was, and he gave you a small smile. "Goodnight, my love." He looked down a little, and you could see a hint of affection and kindness in his eyes now, but just for a moment.

Then it was gone, and he was once again a cold, reserved man, as he always had been.

So…what were you doing in your room? Why were you feeling so…weird? Like some sort of embarrassment and guilt?

…Is it because you bought those sleeping pills? The one you knew would slowly turn you into a drug-filled monster? Is it the way you’re popping 3 pills all at once? …Is that it? The pills kicked in fairly quickly, and you slowly started to fall asleep. It wasn't long before you became unconscious, feeling the effects of the sleeping pills. If you kept taking them at the same rate, you would soon be addicted to the pills, and it wouldn't be long before you couldn't sleep without them...

Soon, Ayato went inside the room, also wanting to sleep. He sees you on the bed, it was a little weird to see you sleeping so early since for the past few weeks, you’d struggle to fall asleep.

He shrugged, and sat down on his side of the bed. Looking over at you, he noticed that you was sleeping very deeply - more deeply than normal, and it wasn't hard to tell why.

He rolled over, got comfy, and lied down. He closed his eyes, and soon enough, he also fell into a deep sleep.

The same routine of fucking and swallowing sleeping pills made you different. Too different. You turned emotionless and cold. You were…not Y/N anymore.

One day, after another stuffy fucking, you both were laying in bed. Ayato sighed. "Well, it's been a long day, hasn't it? I need sleep. I don't suppose we should stay up too long tonight." His voice sounded a bit softer than before.

"Goodnight...my dear wife..." He put one of his arms around you, and hugged you tightly.

"I may not show it much, but I do care about you. You know that, don't you?" He paused, waiting for a response.

You stared into the ceiling, exhausted but restless. “…Sure.”

"Sure" He scoffed, clearly not buying it at all. His voice was colder than ever, and it was hard to recognize this as the same person who had just comforted you. "Sure."

He hugged you tightly, and lay his head down on the pillow. He took the blanket, and covered up both of you, before going to sleep once more. You could feel that he had grown colder and more distant than ever before - like he hadn't wanted you near him at all. He had grown colder and more aloof than ever before.

Ayato was sleeping deeply right beside you. He seemed to be peaceful, but despite what he said earlier, it was hard to tell whether he truly cared about you. He laid there next to you, breathing quietly, completely asleep.

Was he telling the truth, or was he lying?

Did he care about you, or did he hate having you near him?

You couldn't tell anymore at this point. And you didn’t care. You needed something else.

Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills.

Shit, you needed those pills.

You harshly stood up from the bed, not caring if you woke him up or not. You walk to the bedside table, where you took out the bottle of sleeping pills.

"What are you doing?"

Ayato seemed to notice you standing up, and he sat up in the bed. With a groan, he looked up at the clock, before looking back at you.

"Is something the matter, wife?"

He still wasn't showing any signs of affection, but his voice was a little softer now, and his attitude was a little less antagonistic.

“Nothing.” you said, holding the bottle behind you.

"Nothing?" Ayato frowned, and sat up in the bed fully. He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow. He was still wondering what you were doing, looking at you with a slight hint of suspicion.

"Sure," he said with a cold voice, and you could see a smirk on his face now. "You're lying about something. Tell me what the deal is." His tone became cold once more, and you could see that he was beginning to get annoyed.

“Show me the bottle.”

You froze. “What bottle?”

"What bottle?" He narrowed his eyes again, glaring at you. You could feel his anger and irritation building up. He had always been calm and cold, but this was the first time you had seen him genuinely angry. Even before, when he yelled at you, he still sounded calm and unemotional.

"Are you lying to me now? That bottle that you're clearly trying to hide behind your back...show it to me.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You shook your head.

"It isn't a big deal?" He frowned, and sounded a little pissed off.

"Well then, there isn't any reason not to show me, is there? He narrowed his eyes again.

"Show. Me. The. Bottle."

You realized that he wasn't really kidding anymore. If you still didn't show him, he might get even more pissed off. He had always been cold and unemotional, but now, you could really sense his anger.

"Are you seriously not going to show me?"

He stood up, and walked toward you as he reached out, and yanked the bottle from your hands.

"Was that so hard?

He looked at the bottle, and then gave you another angry look.

"I thought it wasn't a big deal? Since when have you been taking sleeping pills, Y/N?!”

“…3 months.”

He scoffed, angry and in disbelief. “How many? How many fucking pills do you take a day?”

You look up at him, before you roll your eyes. “3 before but now I take double.”

"You've been taking double the amount of pills lately?! Why are you doubling the amount?” He gripped the bottle angrily.

Why was he so upset anyway?

"Let me guess… 3pills wasn't enough, eh? And did you ever think that taking that many pills might not be beneficial in the long term?" He raised an eyebrow, and he was still watching you intently.

"I thought there wasn't any need for such drastic measures... But then again, you always enjoyed being dramatic when it came to things like these…”

“Stop it, it’s not like I’ll be addicted to them.” You say, scratching your head in irritation. “I can’t sleep, I need them.”

"Is that really the only reason why?" He sighed loudly, and then smiled darkly.

"You already know what I suspect. The real reason is because you enjoy that little feeling of high that those pills give you, isn't it? You love that little rush of euphoria.”

You laughed, having had enough of his bullshit. “I wish I could get high off of them. I wish I could feel a little bit happier taking them. But noooooo! I just fucking need them so I can have some shut eye before getting back to work!” You had snapped, just wanting to take the pills.

You snatch back the bottle, much to the dismay of Ayato. "Give. The bottle. Back." He said, reaching his hand out.

You really should have known better. You felt a harsh smack to your face. Your hand grasped your now red cheek. “What the hell, Ayato?!” You yelled.

"You deserved that. Don't think you could get away with harming yourself, while also refusing to let me help.”

His hands were shaking with rage. "Give me the pills."

Instead, you ripped the bottle open, popping a few pills in your mouth. You didn’t care anymore… You wanted sleep.

“Y/N! What the fuck!” He yelled, taking the bottle from you and throwing it on the floor. But it was too late, the pills were so strong that you were already seeing the world as a blur.

"You really don't care, do you? About yourself and your well being?" He sighed, and then gave up talking to you. He looked at you with the same angry and frustrated look, before he looked you up and down. "And of course you'd already be starting to feel the effects of that many pills so quickly."

Now, he was just talking to the oblivion. You plopped yourself in bed as you stared at the ceiling. "You really don't care, do you?"

He stared at you in annoyance. "If you died right now, then I doubt you'd even be sad...” He stopped, before standing next to you and looking at you with a more angry expression.

"Why do you just give up on yourself like that...just...why?"

“Because …I’m stupid…and pathetic.” You muttered, laying down on the bed as your eyesight turned foggy.

"No you're not. And I hate it when you say that about yourself." He was still looking at you as he sat down beside you.

"You know what it's called when you keep self-destructive thoughts like that? Self loathing, I do believe...and it's sad to see that you've come to this point. To think that you've given up like this..."

He was getting sick of saying the same things, anyways.

"You're hopeless...that's why I hate this side of you. And it's why I'm so mad at you all the time. I'm tired of your self-destructive behavior, and I'm also tired of this endless cycle that we're in. But I don't want to give up on you because I love you dearly... But I don’t wanna love a bitch who doesn’t even love herself.”

He sighed. "That's what makes this so hard..."

“Heh, maybe I am getting a high from those pills. I can hear you say bullshit.” you uttered, wondering if you were hearing things right.

"Ha...ha...you're not funny.”

He sounded annoyed. He really wanted you to take this more seriously. He didn't know what to do with you anymore...

That was when Ayato suddenly remembered something. Something that he could potentially use to convince you to lay off the sleeping pills.

"Or...there's another solution that we could use, if you really think that you need those sleeping pills to survive the night..."

You looked over at him for a moment…oh wait…oooohhh that’s what he meant. “Oh god, not this again, are you pent up or something?” You groaned.

When he heard that, he didn't know whether to feel amused or annoyed.

"You really think that I'm that desperate..."

He sighed, and sighed again. "I'm trying to help you here, Y/N.”

He looked at you, seemingly amused now - but he wasn't going to give up that easily.

"I guess you want to make this hard, don't you? ...and I thought you're the obedient wife who always follows her husband's orders..."

“I’m about to fall asleep so…if you wanna do *it* with your *sleeping* wife, then be my guest.” You scoffed.

Your eyes fluttered, and then they closed. You were completely unconscious now. Ayato watched you for a moment, and he seemed happy.

His lips curved up into a smile, and he gave you a sly wink.

"I'll make sure to enjoy this." He grinned…

He loomed over your sleeping body as his thoughts began to run wild. His fingers were fidgeting as he reached for the hem of your shirt. He didn’t hesitate but pull off of you.

The sight of you so vulnerable really turned him on. He leaned down, kissing and marking your neck with dark hickeys as he grinded his already hardening bulge on you. Why was he liking this? Doesn’t matter, he was too deep into it already.

He continued to grind into you, he didn’t need to pin you down but he still did, pushing your hands into the bed.

His desires soon took over him, ripping up your panties to expose your cunt. He was hungry, more than ever. He knew there was no way he you were going to wake up anyway, he could do anything.

As he continued kissing down your neck to your chest, suckling on one of your breasts, his hand were now wandering. His cock ached in against the fabric of his pants as he stroked his finger in your folds. Oh…? Y/N…you’re wet. This seemed to entice him, as he kissed lower and lower, until he reached…ah, there.

He licked his lips as his breath approached your pussy, he licked a stripe before coming down. Kissing, sucking, licking in between your folds. He was getting greedy and hungry for you. He pulled you by the legs as he continued to eat you out, resting your thighs on his shoulder. Once he was satisfied, he pulled away from you, a thread of saliva still connecting you before he licked his lips, dropping your legs back onto the bed.

Fuck, why was this turning him on so bad?

He was adoring the sight of you, running his hands all over your body. He pulled down his sweats as his cock sprung out, already leaking with precum. He used his knees to spread your legs open, excited and full of desire. Ayato continued to stare at your face as he spread your legs open with his knees, stroking his cock as he did so. He positioned himself perfectly before burying himself completely inside of you, letting out a moan at how tight you were. He stayed motionless first, giving you a few slaps on the face to make sure you were still asleep.

His pace started off slow, trying to indulge in the power he was feeling. But it was soon replaced by desire as he quickened his pace, the sheets rustling and the bed creaking.

“Ah, fuck, so good. Such a fucking bitch.” He moaned out, pushing your legs to your chest.

“Shit, shit, ah!~ Yes!~” His eyes rolling back in pleasure as he took advantage of your sleeping body. He should be guilty…but he wasn’t. He felt a knot forming on his abdomen as he continued to plow into you.

“Y/N..Oh, fuck, Y/N!~” He moaned out as he came undone inside of you, his hips jerking back and forth.

He took a few breaths, trying to breath in some air, but he soon flipped you over, slapping your ass even though he knew, he wasn’t gonna get a reaction from you.

He pushed your head onto the pillow as he helped prop you on your knees, positioning himself again to push into you.

“Agh…!~ Fuck!” He groaned in pleasure as he pushed his entire cock into you again. He begins to speed up, not wasting anytime as he pounded into you, holding you by your hips. “Mhmm, so good. You wanted this…you wanted this…”

He bucks his hips into you as he cums once again, his essence spilling out of you as a white ring forms around the base of his cock.

As he pulls out, your cunt dribbles out his seed, which entices him even more.

He feels himself getting hard again as he gets ready for another round.

Wow…Ayato..

You’re a fucking monster…

A few rounds later, the day was already coming closer to dawn, and he seemed completely exhausted. He was still lying on top of you, and he seemed to be completely exhausted after what he had done with you.

He gave you a sad smile, before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. It was a kiss that lasted for a long time...

...He really was a monster.

He picked up the bottle of sleeping pills from the floor and placed them on your bedside table, but then he leaned down again. He kissed you again, and then he whispered into your ears...

"Take better care of yourself, okay Y/N? He smiled, before resting his head against your chest and giving your neck a kiss.

"I'd hate to see you feeling so poorly." He closed his eyes, and he began to fall asleep...

When your alarm rang, you woke up to discover yourself fully naked. “…He really fucking did it.” you laughed.

"You really are a heavy sleeper..." Ayato yawned as he sat up. "Did you enjoy it?"

“Did you?” you ask, looking over at him, still surprised he actually did such a thing.

"Of course I enjoyed it, Y/N." He was grinning sadistically now.

"And if it gets you to stop taking those pills, then I'll do what I have to."

You were in disbelief, unsure on what to say. “So every time I take sleeping pills, you’ll just…do it?”

"Mhm. Every. Single. Time.” He was actually happy with that.

"Because I'm not letting you hurt yourself like this. You want to be like an addict? Then I'm just going to force you to be happy - even if it means going to those lengths myself."

You let out a few laughs, “…Did you like taking me while I was asleep?”

"Of course I did," He gave you a sly, almost creepy smile. "Did you like what I did to you?" His voice was definitely dripping with sarcasm, and he seemed rather amused by your question. He didn't even bother hiding that.

“I consented to it…but I didn’t expect you to do it, actually.”

"...Consent, huh?" That was really the only thing that Ayato cared about here. He needed to know that you were okay with it - otherwise, he couldn't enjoy it nearly as much. But it was enough for him...

"If I'm being honest?" He laughed at his own statement. "I'm having fun with this, to be honest. I'd do this again and again."

You couldn't help but be a little creeped out with what he was saying.

"And again..."

"...and again..."

Your hands trembled a little, but it soon calmed as you realized…what’s the point?

"Why? What makes it so enjoyable..?” You asked. Ayato paused for a moment, and he leaned closer to you.

"Because I can do what I want with you, when I want to, however I want to. And…”

“…God, it just fucking turns me on, Y/N.”

"I love it." He was speaking honestly. He was smiling darkly and he had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He was enjoying himself. “It's like you're a piece of property, and I can do whatever I want with it."

“Ayato…do you love me?”

What? Y/N, don’t ask that! What the hell are you doing?

His face turned cold and cruel in an instant.

"Love...you? Don't be ridiculous. What do you even know about love?” Suddenly, all of his friendliness disappeared. That same dark look was in his eyes, and he looked dangerous for a moment.

"You're not capable of loving anyone. All you can do is be selfish."

His words hit you all at once, and it hurt. Why did you have to ask that?

“So I’m…incapable of loving…is that it?” You stammered, looking up at him.

“Hm…yeah.” He let that set in for a moment, before he smiled.

"That's because you're too selfish to care for anyone…”

"Love means that you care for other people. Well, how can you do that when you hate yourself? You can’t even look at yourself without wanting to kill whatever you see in the mirror."

“So tell me, Y/N…”

"...why would I ever love you?"

His stare was dark, and you got the implication now - you weren't worthy of being loved by him. He said the words in a cold tone, and it felt like his eyes were full of evil as he stared at you.

"What have you ever done that's worthy of someone loving you?"

The words cut whatever was left of your fragile, unfeeling heart. “You’re not answering my question…”

He stared at you for a moment then. "...Why do you think you're entitled to an answer?"

He couldn't believe it. Did you just ask him if he loves you?! As if he'd ever love someone like you? As if he was obligated to answer such a question? You were so selfish and delusional. No wonder you were getting the treatment that you were.

You laughed, almost going crazy. Was it the pills? Yeah…yeah, it was the pills.

“No, you need to answer… I want to know. Because…I want to know whether or not it’s worth it to let you take advantage of me. To keep being your pleasure doll.” You stared up at him, almost desperate.

"…Of course I don't love you, dear wife." His voice sounded full of hatred as he said that. But, then again, it did sound like he almost enjoyed speaking those words.

"There. You've got your answer."

You’re stupid, Y/N. You could’ve just continued acting clueless. You shouldn’t have sought for an answer. Now you’re hurt. And it was all your fault…

“…Was it good? Did you feel such good pleasure?” You asked, talking about him taking you while you were asleep.

"Yes. It was fucking great." It was obvious that he was trying to taunt you.

"Did you enjoy it too?"

He wanted to hear you say the words.

"Be honest, dear wife. Tell me, now."

A scoff left your lips as you reached for the bottle, taking a few pills in your mouth. “Doesn’t matter.” you chuckled.

Ayato froze…Y/N, what are you doing? Ayato didn’t know what do you but pull on your shoulder. “What the..fuck? What do you think you’re doing?” He stammers, gripping your shoulder.

But he was only met with a kiss as your body was starting to feel the effects of the 6 pills you decided to take. There was no response initially, as he was left frozen at your behavior. He did not expect this kind of response at all. He had no idea what to do to make you stop.

That had caught him completely off guard, to be honest.

His eyes widened, as he realized what the pills had done to you.

"Oh...no..."

You only smiled. “I’ll…keep doing this…if you like it…”

Why is your smile so genuine? What are you doing?

"No...don't...you...dare... You, you're ...making me like it...” He whispered to himself, looking down at you. You were starting to wobble from drowsiness as he took you in his arms.

"Y/N, you're dangerous. I don’t think you know just how dangerous you are..."

There was a sudden sharpness in his voice. He was angry now, wasn't he?

"Please..." He was begging you, for a moment. "...stop taking those pills..."

You reach out to caress his cheek. “…You enjoy it..don’t you? …I want to make you happy…”

There was no denying it - he did enjoy it. He didn’t want to ever admit that to you anymore. "I-I did enjoy it...but..." He trailed off "But I don't know if it's good for you..."

"I...I should stop you..."

It was obvious he was reluctant to do so.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel… Just..do whatever. If all you want is my body…then…so be it…” You said, your eyes fighting off the sleep.

Ayato's cold eyes opened in shock, hearing what you said to him.

"Do whatever...if all I want is your body?"

He looked confused for a moment. Was that how you viewed him? As someone who only viewed you as a mere pleasure tool? There was so much more to you than that...to him...to everyone.

Ayato was upset to hear that come out of your mouth.

You laughed softly. “I love you, Ayato… and if I have to do this for you to stay…I will…” You sighed, slowly drifting to sleep.

"...don't do this for me." Ayato was shocked. Did you mean what you said? Those words hurt him greatly more than anything else she had said.

"You don't need to do anything to please me, you…bitch.” He tried putting on a brave and confident front, as he spoke in his usual calm and confident voice. "You're worth so much more than that." He was trying to reassure you, but there was a small break in his voice when he said those words. “What..the fuck, Y/N?”

Your body lays limply on his arms as you sleep, there was nothing he could do anymore.

"Oh, fuck..." Ayato's face was full of worry and sadness, as he watched you lying there. It was obvious that your words hurt him greatly, and he couldn't help but shake a little. Could he really let you do something like that to yourself? But his heart broke, as his fears about you becoming a mere tool were coming true.

Would he ever be able to get over this?

He didn't know what to do...

The next day, you woke up like nothing happened. You rushed to the door, putting on your shoes for work. Ayato was left stunned, as he watched you leave. You seemed to be just going about your day, as if nothing had happened. You didn't say anything about the conversation yesterday...you didn't say anything about taking the pills either.

It was as if you didn't remember anything that had happened.

"This is a side of you that I haven't seen before..."

"You really are dangerous...what am I going to do about this...?"

You get home at around 2am. It was a long day at work, and you had come home pretty late. Ayato was in the living room, sitting on the couch and reading a book.

He looked up when you came home, and his eyebrows rose into surprise.

"You're pretty late tonight."

He watched you put your coat and other belongings away, before he looked back down at his book and continued reading.

“Yeah, we had a bit of a celebration after the presentation.” You say. “I’m just gonna fix up the laundry then go to bed.” Your words were blank and plain as you walk to the laundry room.

"Ah." He nodded a little bit, seemingly a little disappointed.

He was hoping that you'd be more forthcoming, so he could talk to you about all of this... You were really frustrating him...and you weren't making it easy to figure out. At all. Suddenly, as if his frustrations reached their final point, Ayato snapped.

"Fine. That's okay. Just do your laundry, Y/N.” He had a mocking smile on his face as he said that. Geez, what’s up with him?

You look out from the laundry room and give him a look. “You okay?”

"Perfectly fine." He had a sinister expression on his face, as he was clearly lying to you. It was obvious that he wasn't fine. His voice was dripping with malice. "I'm not fine. Not at all. And you know why." His tone was dark. He sounded as if he was on the verge of exploding as his eyes glowed in rage.

“…Okay then. Should’ve just said so.” You uttered, walking up to him before pressing your lips on his.

Like usual. Like routine. Like always.

His eyes widened in shock, as if you were crazy. He had no words, as he was completely stunned by this. He didn't move a muscle afterwards, as he just stared at you. He couldn't believe you just did that, as if you still cared about him.

The fact that he didn't immediately kiss you back should tell you, though, how he felt at the moment. He was…confused.

You pull away, noticing how absent he was. “What? Am I doing something wrong? Is this not relieving your stress anymore? Should I take it up a notch?” You were genuinely confused, why was he acting like this?

He had no words, as he was simply trying to wrap his head around what you were saying. "Take it up a notch? How much more do you want than kissing...than..."

He trailed off and didn't continue the sentence. He looked shocked, clearly not expecting the direction of the conversation to take a turn like this.

“Are you not used to it by now? Whenever you’re feeling frustrated, you’d always want this.”

"Used to it? I...you..." He was at a complete loss for words this time. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "You just...just don't care at all, do you?" He chuckled, before stopping again and looking at you seriously.

“Huh? We made an agreement? That you’d release your pent-up frustration on me?” You were lost at this point, wondering if he had bumped his head or something.

He paused for a moment, as he recalled the agreement that he had made with you. You're right...you're right...he had agreed to it...

"I...still...it feels wrong..." He trailed off again, as he wasn't really sure how to react to what you were saying.

You laughed a little, “You’re saying that now? After you and I have been doing it for months now?”

He was silent for a moment, as if he didn't want to admit it.

He was a little ashamed, in fact. He seemed embarrassed that what you had said was true. Eventually, he spoke again.

"...I guess you're right. We've been doing it for months already. I guess it's a little too late to back out of it now."

He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking.

"...Well...in that case..."

He reached out towards you, before he softly kissed you, which you accepted.

He kept kissing you, before slowly pulling away.

His voice was softer now. There...I, uh, guess I released my frustration out...heh..." He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten the mood. But he didn't want any more, it just felt…weird.

You felt…weird too. Were you doing something wrong? Did he not like you anymore? “What’s wrong? Am I doing something wrong? You’re not usually this…hesitant.”

"No. You're not doing anything wrong."

He paused again, as he didn't want to say it.

He took a moment to think of how he would say this next. Then, he continued speaking.

"I'm just...I just feel like I'm taking advantage of you, in a way." He sighed. "It's not normal, at all. No one would allow themselves to be treated like this in a marriage. But...you still love me...despite all that..."

“…who cares? I allowed you to, anyway.” You say.

"And you would let me...let me do that to you every time I'm feeling frustrated? I...but..."

"Why would you let me do that to you Ayato was actually a little shocked that this wasn't bothering you, since it was obviously a concern for him. "What do you get out of it?"

You didn’t hesitate, you knew your answer. “I get to spend time with you.”

Hearing you say that, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He was taking advantage of you, after all, and yet...you would still care for him... He stared at you, as his feelings were mixed.

"I...so you don't care that you're being used like this...? That you're treated like..." He trailed off again, as he remembered the agreement.

"…a tool?"

You only nodded as you let out a blank but genuine “Sure.”

Ayato was in disbelief. He couldn't understand why you would allow him to treat you like this, or why it didn't bother you. "What is going on in your head?" He couldn't understand it at all. “...why don't you care that you're being used like this?" He spoke in a quiet voice, as he looked at you with a look of confusion and worry on his face.

You smile as you say, “…Because I love you.“

He paused for a moment, as he thought about it, before he finally responded, with a soft nod. "Right. You're right..." He sighed, seeming a little worried.

"I'll keep doing this, then. I'll keep taking advantage of you without any regrets...because...you seem to be okay with it..." He says, hesitantly.

“You okay?” Your head tilts in confusion.

"I'm fine. I'm just...still a little in disbelief about this." He looked at you with some concern as he lets out a chuckle. “H-How do you not find this weird...or wrong...or off-putting?"

He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking. "I...I can't understand why you're okay with this. It's as if you're a masochist...and no one's supposed to be that much of a masochist..."

You shrug, answering honestly. It was about time he found out anyway.

“I used to find it weird…had a few regrets. But..I just didn’t want you to go back to your affairs…if this is what will make you stay…then so be it. I don’t care how rough you get, I don’t care how much you hate me. I just want you to stay. Even if this was just an arranged marriage. “

His heart broke at hearing those words, as he finally understood where you were coming from.

"What the fuck, Y/N..." Tears formed in his eyes, as his voice let out a shaky chuckle.

"I'm so sorry..." He didn't bother hiding his emotions anymore, as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“Wah! Why’re you crying?! Are you okay?” You were surprised, you hold him by the shoulder as you look up at him, trying to meet his gaze.

“You’re the one who should be crying!” He shouted. "You're the one who's been mistreated this whole time...and I don't see any tears coming from you..."

He sighed, trying to dry his tears away.

"Why are you okay with this..." He spoke in a soft voice, as he looked at you with a look of concern. He still felt guilty, of course.

You rubbed his back, still confused about what was happening. “Because I love you, why should I cry?”

He was stunned. He was confused at your words. You...you didn't mind being used and mistreated by him...

"Why...? You deserve better than that. Than me..." He trailed off, as he looked down, not wanting to meet your eye.

“…I don’t deserve better.” You utter.

“You do!” Ayato yelled. “I’m a fucking asshole! I took advantage of you! I did shitty things! And here you are, clinging to me, when you deserve so much better!”

“Then be better, Ayato!” You yelled back.

He looked at you in surprise, before he let out a nervous chuckle.

"Be better? How do you think I should do that?"

He shook his head.

"I don't think I could ever be better...not after all the terrible things I've done to you..." Tears were starting to fall from his eyes again.

"...I don't deserve you..."

You shook him by the shoulders, “Then do better to deserve me! I want no one else but you!”

He freezes as he looked into your eyes, shocked. There was only complete silence, before he softly kisses you.

You didn’t know how to feel at that point, but you could sense that…he was genuine for once.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes still streaming with tears as he looked at you. “I... I'll try my best to be a better man...for your sake..." He was crying, as he wiped his eyes clean. He couldn't believe what was going on.

"I'll try my best to become deserving of you...and your love..."

You sighed, hugging him, your my head on his chest. “Don’t cry.”

He sniffed, before wiping his tears once more. He tried to calm himself down, before finally hugging you back.

"I'm so sorry..." He said, as he nuzzled his head into you. "I'm so sorry that you still love me...after all of that..."

“Shhh, it’s okay..it’s okay…” you utter, rubbing his back.

He sniffled, as he nuzzled your head even further. He tried to calm himself down, so he didn't cry anymore.

"Just know... that I will protect you…”

"…I will protect you with my life."

As he spoke, he hugged you tighter.

“…I’ll deserve you one day…so please wait for me…”

A few years had passed, you and Ayato are still married. Well…now happily married. You had finally managed to come to an understanding, as he treated you with love.

He still made use of you when he was feeling frustrated, as you had agreed to it long ago. But now you understood each other. You understood exactly what each other wanted, and you wanted to be there for each other.

Even your children were happy, as you gave them so much love and affection.

Children? Oh yes…your nights of fucking paid off with 3 beautiful children.

You were a great family.

One night, as were putting your children to bed, you were carrying your youngest baby in your arms, cradling and rocking her to sleep. Ayato was tucking your two other children in bed. He watched as you rocked your baby to sleep.

Your baby looked so happy now. You also seemed to be having fun.

He smiled at seeing the scene, as he thought to himself.

"This is what happiness looks like...my family is happy..." He was glad to see that your family was all happy together. It made him realize just how lucky he was.

“Stop staring, Ayato.” You called out, feeling his gaze. “You getting emotional, hun?” you teased as you laid your infant down on their crib.

He raised an eyebrow, still smirking.

"Emotional?” He chuckled. "Am I?" He chuckled again, as he reached out, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

"You're one to talk." He said, as he kissed you passionately, before finally breaking apart after a couple of seconds.

"I love you." He said with a smile, as he looked into your eyes, his own full of love and affection.

You smiled, “I love you, too.”

"Even though I've been using you all this time...you still love me? He looked deep into your eyes. He was so happy to hear that you loved him back. In fact, he thought maybe now was the right time... He leaned in for another kiss, as he spoke in a quiet voice. "Would you say...you'd do anything for me?”

You laughed “Yes, I would. Don’t tell me…you’re still thinking about our past, are you?”

He laughed to himself. How had you have known? "Well, I suppose I am, although I'm also thinking about our future..." He was silent, as he thought.

"You...you really would do anything for me? Just as you did back then...you're still willing to do that for me even now..." He paused for a moment, as he thought about what he would ask of you.

"You... you would marry me again... if I asked you to?"

You froze, looking up at him. “…What was that?”

"Did I stutter?"

He smirked.

"I'm...serious here..." He paused for a second.

"Would you...marry me again? Again, he paused for a moment. "After everything I've put you through..everything, and you'd still do it again..." He closed his eyes for a second, as he spoke softly. He couldn't imagine anything better than what he was about to ask for.

“I want to make this official. I don’t want to be married to you because our families want us to….”

“…This time, I want to marry you because I love you.”

"…So...will you...will you marry me?"

Well, Y/N? …Will you?

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Just a random collection of thoughts. all of these are Pre-Nibelhiem. Yandereish? Was hoping maybe writing some of it down would help curb the Sephiroth obsession, don’t think I can reverse 20+ years of obsession though. And Genesis is a little menace, especially to Sephiroth this is facts. I guess slight nsfw? I dunno how to tag these things. Never thought I’d post anything.

*************************************************

“Oh you love me, I know you do y/n.”

Glancing at the clock on your stove then back to the drunk silver hair man at your kitchen table, you realize you’re in for a very long night.

———————————————————————

Today’s lecture entails your lack of responsibility, fantastic right? It’s been an hour and you’ve already accepted defeat and agreed to the fact that you were wrong for not answering the phone. However, he’s still complaining. It’s sweet sure, sometimes a bit much. You just can’t stay that mad when he’s worried about you. However it’s almost a bit weird, it’s like he’s tracking your every move.

“I didn’t know you had so much time for me, just imagined you’d be busier than this.” You say trying to contain your smile. “We both have the same, well similar, job. So you know overtime is mandatory.”

“Your schedule said-“ he started but you interrupted.

“My schedule said what? You know my schedule? I’m a Turk not a SOLDIER, how would you know?” Firing questions at him, you look genuinely confused. You know Tseng wouldn’t disclose such information, surely Rufus wouldn’t even entertain the thought.

“I keep track of what’s mine.”

———————————————————————

The arguing has been going on since they arrived. Well one couldn’t call it arguing really, Sephiroth was whining. Closing Loveless and setting it on the counter he’s sitting on, Genesis starts to speak, “He’s embarrassing himself in there, I think y/n loves it.”

A notion that Angeal has agreed with numerous times. Sephiroth isn’t going to beg for your forgiveness and affections publicly, but these two feel like they’ve just about seen it all. It’s not that you get a slight kick out of being a little mean to him, he’s just been so damn bad all week. Someone has to hold Sephiroth accountable and he hates that you’re more than willing to do that.

—————————————————————

Kicking his feet up on your coffee table, Genesis rests his arms along the back of the couch. Conveniently one of those arms ended up behind you. Is this necessarily a problem? Maybe not. But why the fuck does he act like he owns the place?

Staring at his boots on your table you huff, “Someone’s a bit comfortable huh?”

Sephiroth, who immediately perked up when Genesis’ arm went behind you, couldn’t have been faster to agree. “A little too comfortable in my girlfriend’s home if you ask me.”

Oh. There was that tone of voice again, it’s time to make your escape. Excusing yourself to help Angeal in the kitchen you faintly hear Genesis reply to Sephiroth and you know it was nothing to calm him down.

Leaning against the counter you give a light chuckle. “Should be safer in here with you right? Do you think he’ll ever get over-“ you pause trying to find the proper wording “-that?” There are no proper words, the two of you know what you’re asking.

“We can only hope.” Angeal sighs as Genesis’ laughter rings out.

———————————————————————

He fucked up, he knows he fucked up. He also knows you can’t stay mad at him, not that he’ll let you. This is how you ended up in bed with him, getting fucked for hours. He really just wants to make it up to you. He doesn’t mean to upset you he just doesn’t know how to act because you drive him crazy.

Between the sessions of Sephiroth’s balls slapping against your ass and his cum dripping out of you, he pulls you against him. Hands still roaming all over you as he tells you how much he loves you and that he just can’t let you go.

You’re still not sure how he even got in your apartment, he was already there when you got home. Gifts in hand, apology played out in his mind over and over again to make sure it comes out just right, puppy eyes prepared to make you give into his begging. What he didn’t expect was for you to not forgive him, at first at least.

“No…no no no. You can’t do that y/n please.” Shaking his head he stares at you with a mix of confusion and hurt. Don’t make that baby cry, if you keep denying him he just might. But now you see that if he starts crying, he gets violent. You better tell him that everything is okay soon ‘cause fuck you’re not getting that security deposit back. Eventually you calm Sephiroth down, holding his head against your chest, playing with his hair and whispering sweet nothings to him.

He’s going to clean up the mess he’s created, but before that he has to fuck you to sleep right? You’ll talk to him in the morning about seeking help, maybe you’ll do the same.

[bibiwrld]

Coworker Stephen Glass!— “𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚” pt.1

Pairing: Stephen Glass! x Black Fem Oc!

Content warning: Stephen Glass isn’t a manipulative liar in this, jealousy, fluff, OC is a bit of a bitch. (It’s kinda short, but I finally decided I wanted to make multiple parts for this)

Summary: A young journalist working at New Republic, wants the attention of journalist, Stephen Glass, only on her.

Mary-Anne’s POV

I watched maliciously from the blinds of my office, as Francesca got up for the 5th time to use the bathroom.

My grin got wider.

Maybe if she stopped eating my lunch from the office fridge, she wouldn’t have vomiting and diarrhea.

My officer door suddenly opened. “Mary-Anne.” His sweet voice pulled out of my conniving trance.

I remember when he first said my name.

“Mary-Anne…that’s a very beautiful name. You don’t hear names like that anymore. It really suits you.”

The first compliment he ever gave me and it’s been stuck with me ever since I started working at New Republic 2 weeks ago.

He thought it was cute that I was named after my great grandmother, and I thought it was cute how he adjusted his round glasses and ran his fingers through his dark curls as he read my notes for an article I’m planning to publish , but I couldn’t say that— he’s basically my boss.

Out of everyone in the office, Steph is the only one I could call my friend. We weren’t extremely close, but close enough to have a relationship outside of the office.

“I’ve read your work, and it’s just..amazing. A freelance journalist with your talent coming to work for New Republic, is a dream come true.”

He stroked my ego that day two weeks ago. I was a smiling and giggling mess. How could one man be so funny, charming and beautiful all at the same?

But then there was his over friendliness that I hated, he treated everyone in the office the same. Giving out compliments to all the women in the office like god damn candy.

“Did you do something with your hair? It looks gorgeous.”

“I think your necklace compliments your eyes.”

I internally rolled my eyes in disgust at my thoughts and looked at the angel before me.

Stephen Glass. Even his name was perfect.

“Something wrong, Steph?” I batted my lashes and slightly pouted my lips.

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice matched the look on his beautiful face. He closed the door behind him, taking quick strides to my desk.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” I tilted my head to the side, fiddling with my pencil.

“Francesca seems very ill and I hope it’s not something going around, everyone in the office could get sick.”

He was such a caring guy, busy wondering if everyone was okay and comfortable. I hate him. I hate him for how kind he is, but how could I stay mad at him? That perfect face, sweet voice and charming personality, I could never do that to him.

“I’m sure she’s fine and it’s probably nothing airborne. Stop worrying yourself, Steph.” I sighed, leaning back in my seat.

His body seemed to relax at my words. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

I studied his face well, he looked like he wasn’t getting any sort of sleep. His glasses weren’t hiding anything.

“When was the last time you’ve had a good 8 hours?” I leaned forward. “You look exhausted Steph, you have eyebags.”

He sighed deeply, looking away. “I’ve b-been working overtime.”

“You’re not a machine, you need sleep.” I tried hiding my anger. He was always there for everyone, but who was there for him? Not one of them, just me, and I’m fine with that.

He was mine after all.

“You’re on break, right?” I glanced at the watch on my wrist.

“Y-yeah.” He stuttered, looking back at me.

“You can take naps in here on your breaks if you want.” Maybe that was too much, but who am I to hide my attraction for him?

“Mar—”

“It can be our little secret, plus, you can’t be fired for sleeping on your break.” I slightly shrugged my shoulders. “Just a little recharge in the middle of the day and your office doesn’t have a couch, so just use mine.”

He hung his head in defeat then looked back up with a smirk. “You’re very persuasive Mary-Anne.”

It took everything in me not to bite down on my bottom lip at his words. “ I know.”

[colourstreakgryffin]

Yandere! Romantic! KNY Shinazugawa Sanemi Headcanons

(My apologises that the pic is bad. I had to cut out the background since spoilers and would prefer to be careful)

(Sixth posstttt, let’s go! Three more to go! This one’s scarier at least to me than Shinobu! Welcome the great lord of the winds, he’ll take your breath away!)

Sanemi as a romantic Yandere has the Yandere traits of; Delusional, Loving/Clingy, Murderous, Possessive, Overprotective, Scary, Devoted and Twisted

- A new Hashira you say? Well, that doesn’t really bother Sanemi at all. In-fact, he is secretly grateful that the Corps is getting more reliable firepower for this ongoing war. You’re strong, he likes you as a fellow but he’s not really a chatter. It’s you who has to start conversations

- Sanemi is actually one of the hardest Hashira or perhaps, the hardest to evolve into a Yandere for his love interest(beats Gyomei and Shinobu by a long shot). He is very closed-off and keeps his interactions with people, other than pleasantries with his fellow Hashira, to a minimum. Though, he is emotionally weak to a kind, gentle and warm-hearted person like you.

- You ripped his heart out and sent it away on powerful gushes of wind. Sanemi is originally conflicted about his growing feelings for you. Not because he hates you, but because getting too close to people always makes them disappear. He has, like Giyuu, dealt with a lot of loss in his life and would prefer to stay out of your life

- Though, he is losing his composure around you. He can’t stay his usual intimidating, unbothered self when you’re in the picture. His rapidly beating heart and screaming head is telling him to talk to you. And after quite a few months, he decides to try stir up a friendship

- A bare friendship is not what he wants though. You’re available and so is Sanemi. It’s so perfect that it seems to be fate. He already has the right method to swoop in and take your heart like you took his

- Sanemi, honestly, does take the longest to befriend and connect with but takes a bit less time to become a full-fledged Yandere, though, he is a very scary Yandere. Like Shinobu, Sanemi will have rising jealous anger over other people taking away your time

- That single mix of anger and jealousy forms his Yandere traits overtime with the more he sees you and those horrible thoughts attack his senses until they override his entire perception. His goal, no longer, is protecting humankind from demons, his goal now is to win your heart and make you his wife. And he will never have a issue with what he has to do to get it

- Sanemi has about NO limits, as mentioned in the Obanai post. He’ll do literally anything and everything he possibly can to make you love him back. He’ll hunt down his fellow Hashira, he’ll hunt down the Upper Moons, he’ll slit his own wrists. He takes the phrase “anything for you” to a extremely extreme

- Sanemi is delusional as f**k, and that delusion has gifted him a bit— just a LITTLE bit— of entitlement over you. He furiously demands that you stay at his Estate and blocks your every escape attempt until you’re forced to follow the Hashira’s request. His delusion makes him believe you have to leave for a important reason, not because you don’t wanna see him anymore. Though, he doesn’t accept that

- Sanemi will kill love rivals and he kills with literal pleasure. He is definitely more murderous than Shinobu, though, he sees a reason to hide it. Like Giyuu, he doesn’t want you to view him as a monster because he took a life or two or… maybe five. So, he keeps his murderous thoughts about the people he flirt with you a secret well until either he or you is away on Hashira duty to take care of the little issue

- Like about 90% of the Hashira, the all-so-feared Wind Hashira won’t lay his hands on you in the slightest, no matter how mad at you or mad in general he gets. He may verbally abuse you every once and a while but that’s mainly out of frustration. You’re not understanding his point of view, and you rejecting his statements without hearing any of them out is eating away at his patience

- Sanemi’s a ticking time bomb that will explode into one gigantic explosion once he’s pushed past his own limits but he’ll grow back as a calm, timid little fuse. He is a lot sweeter than he is horrible in all honesty, his temper tantrums are rare but they’re deadly

- Sanemi is quite possessive over you, rather this be before or after he has forced you into dating him. Stop smiling at that creep! Your super cool, strong, loving boyfriend is right here! Nobody else is like him, he is a Hashira and a powerful one too. There is no competition, those people don’t have anything on Sanemi but his confidence there doesn’t stop him from getting furious over people simply complimenting your appearance and makes him chase them away

- The only person Sanemi is soft and vulnerable with is you. He willingly shows his secret gentleness whilst he is clinging onto you and spitting out random compliments. You make him unbelievably happy and for that feat, he will treat you with the highest love and care possible. He apologises for his outbursts and makes it his mission to win back your smile

- “I’m sorry, okay… I just… I need you to listen to me more. I’m only trying to protect you, you know that I love you, right? Well, do I. I love you more than life, and your happiness is mine, your safety is mine. See? I don’t wanna hurt you and I’m sorry for snapping…”

- Sanemi, as mentioned before, has lost a lot throughout his entire life and that trauma caused him to cling onto you desperately. Just stay with him, don’t go outside or go over the rainbow bridge. Stay at the Wind Estate, it’s safe and it’s comfortable. Sanemi is attached to you to a extreme-extreme and will drown you in his overwhelming love

- Gifts, hugs, kisses, attention, fun events. All of these are fruitful attempts to keep you happy and also expressions of his love for you. You deserve the world in Sanemi’s mind and he’ll move the heavens and earth to give you what you deserve

- Shinazugawa— more like Overprotectzugawa as he will never let you go out alone without him and his trusty katana. No matter how peaceful the road may seem, anything could happen and his anxiety is also very extreme so he’ll force himself into whatever you wanted to do to ensure no demon dares to lay a hand on you. Your safety (with happiness) is his top priority and if being overprotective keeps that, he’ll do it

- His devotion to you is endless. He doesn’t even look at other girls anymore, why would he enjoy the sight of any of those disgusting sl*ts when the most beautiful angel ever is by his side. However, his devotion is almost psychotically intense as he obsesses over being able to bask in your looks, he has a entire notebook full of drawings of you and has even carved your full name into the pec over his heart

- Sanemi is the type of Yandere to have a powerful trait of twisted. He is the embodiment of a real threat in his Yandere mindset. He is very mentally unsound and it makes him a danger to everybody around you, and I mean EVERYBODY as not even the Hashira nor the Master have defence against Yandere Sanemi. He is extremely erratic, he raises his katana to attack in a split second, he has intense mood swings that go from calm to murder and worse, his obsession with you gets bigger till he starts stealing and/or going through your belongings to please himself

- Do you think about a married life and/or having children? Sanemi does. He wonders why he thinks about it so much, alongside you. Is it because he wants to make himself a new family? It must be. He won’t do anything right now, this world needs to recover from the Demon disaster but once the Demon King falls, Sanemi will work and work to create the best future for you

- Sanemi is, once again, conflicted. Should he kidnap you? It would solve all of the issues but it would further ruin your relationship with him! He doesn’t really know what to do but he does hate each time you finally leave his Estate. At the moment, Sanemi won’t take away your freedom but always be prepared, he’ll make up his mind any day now

- Sanemi is scary in the sense of his unhealthy obsession over you. He values learning about you, watching you sleep at night and getting to look after you very much and he proudly rants on every little detail about you he has till the point your horrified by how deranged he’s become. He is also scary in his anger towards others, he unleashes dangerous threats after death threats and the argument he started gets so bad that you’ll have to knock him out to prevent a murder escalation

- You’re his, his love now and beyond this life. Nobody else should be able to breathe the same air as you and you just having friends disgusts Sanemi. All you will ever need is with him! Those limbless pathetic pieces of s**t called people don’t know you and will devote their life to you in the same way Sanemi does!

- “Can’t you just stay here for more than a few hours? Like, what’s the problem? My Estate is just like yours. Am… am I scaring you or something? Me, scary? It’s because I like fighting demons, huh? Well. Stop being ridiculous and get rid of that thought, I love you and I want you to stay because I love you, isn’t that clear?”

[imjustamime]

SmokeyDonuts Oneshot :)

Relationship: John/Jack, John & Jack

Characters: John, Jack, Patty (mentioned)

Tags: Fluff, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort

Maybe Jack should’ve listened when John told him to go home, but no, he just had to insist on staying. He didn’t know why, because they never even interacted during the overtime besides from the ‘can you pass me that?’ or ‘How mad do you think Mayor Evermore will be?’ Maybe he just felt concern for John and didn’t want to leave him alone, especially with the new stuff about the cult.

And now they were sitting in Jack’s car, stuck in traffic at night, in an awkward and very tense silence. Jack had tried to distract himself by switching between tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and messing with his sleeve. It was a normal thing he did when he was worried and anxious, and he was scared that he had made John mad or pushed him away because of the joke- probably shouldn’t call it a joke, it wasn’t funny and just made Patty and John both pissed. That was something he questioned a lot, why did he have to be like this? Before his thoughts could spiral, a sound of rustling and a familiar clink of metal brought Jack back into reality. He furrowed his brows and glanced at John, who was now smoking another cigarette. “John.. I said you aren’t allowed to smoke in the car.” Jack spoke up, his tone filled with slight annoyance and concern, a frown was shown on his face, “It’s not good for you, and you know how I feel about the smoke..”

John rolled his eyes and went to open the car window a little so that the smoke didn’t linger in the car, “Jack, after the day we had, I really need this.” He replied in his usual gruff voice, which Jack huffed at and went back to staring at the car in front of them. It had gone back to a silence after that for a few moments. “Jack, you’re doing that thing with your hand again.” John pointed out, gesturing with his cigarette to Jack’s hand, which was fiddling with his other hand. Jack almost immediately stopped, before sighing.

“I’m sorry.”

John was taken aback by the taller man’s sudden apology. “For what?” He asked.

“For the joke-... the thing I did.. earlier.” Jack added. “I-I thought it would’ve been funny, and I just wanted to cheer you up, because you seem a little.. off.. After what happened. But it was just a stupid thing for me to do, and I’m sorry.”

John sighed and looked away for a moment, hesitating and thinking about how to respond. Yes, he was annoyed earlier because of it, since he had to do extra paperwork and the fact that it was sort of disrespectful, even if the Bob guy was a prick. “Yeah, it was stupid.” John replied, inhaling and exhaling some smoke, then it clicked. “Jack, you thought it was gonna cheer me up. I guess I can’t be too annoyed at that.. But, just don't do that type of thing again, you almost gave me a heart attack.” John gave a small smile, attempting to add some humour, hoping it would help Jack stop worrying.

“I’m not mad at you, Jack.” John said, knowing that Jack needed to hear that. Jack’s head turned to him, “Annoyed? Yes, A bit. But I’m not mad, and I don’t hate you.”

Jack gave a faint smile and chuckled whilst nodding. “How about I..” Jack thought slightly before saying the first thing that came to mind, “..Cook something for you, as a way to say sorry?”

“Jack, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to, sheriff.” He grinned and leaned over to give a quick peck on John's cheek, making the other blush slightly and turn away to hide it.

“Fine, but don’t burn the house down.”

“I’ll do my best.”

[quitealotofsodapop]

[Now I'm imagining a Judge Judy or Maury-esque trial over the custody/parentage of Sun Luzhen and the other SWKs vs their universes' respective Nuwa, Houtu and Fuxi.]

Goodness, that guy has to earn a LOT of overtime to deal with SWKs and the fams nonsense. Hope they invite him to family events too X)

[Reborn SWK/Smokey is the most furious since he has a whole complex over not having parents.]

I wanna write something funny, but all I can make up is the image of Reborn Nuwa shoving as much money and stuff as possible as Hush Money so that their connection stays a secret. I feel like that would make Smokey super-duper mad.

[Plum, realising that he probably shouldn't have said that: "The... the supreme goddess of the moon?" (o_o;) Other LEMs: "THE WHO?!?"]

Plum, poking head into the room with the SWKs: Sorry about that, but I think I broke your partners.

Damn, so Mac's also royalty! Although, how well known was that if he worked as PIFs attendant in the Celestial Realm?

...now I am curious how Babs and Gibs came to be...what's their lineage? And do they know of it?

[Different SWKs reactions ahoy!]

Hmm...how do the LEM's (and rest of the Pilgrims if they are around) feel about Luzhen? He has to quite literally rock their world with the revelations.

[He's used to sudden children by now.]

Peach, hearing Dasheng's footsteps in the house: Hey, bud, what's ahhh... *Sees that Dasheng has 10 kids, all hanging from his limbs...* Umm...

Dasheng: I walked by an orphanage...

Peach: Wow, your dad vibes are over 9000, huh?

Dasheng: What does that even mean?!

[heck yeah, I'm dad, not our neglectful creators.]

I am picturing Dasheng looking at either of the gods in question and going, "Oh look at that, the deadbeats are here. Have you brought the child support or do I have to boot you off my mountain again?"

[it's not his fault another him got made! And whats more he's furious at their creators for "allowing" another Stone Monkey to be born to face the same crisis/trials he did.]

You know, I once read that we grow up to be the person our younger selves would have felt the safest with. Paraphrased a bit, but the idea is there. They are two different people, but, maybe he can help heal his inner child in this way.

[His cub now, their creators can screw off!]

I have this image: One of the parents in question coming in hot to claim parental rights or something, only for Cherry, handling his Luzhen off to somebody to keep safe, to launch an attack so brutal and bloody Buddha took one look at the carnage and noped out of there, going like "Not even I am willing to fuck with that. Nope."

[They do have a little brain itch of what this could mean for them tho.]

Not the brain itch you or Shihou were having, but mine is itching with the question of...how would SWK and/or LEM handle a child with cognitive disabilities - like serious ones at that?

[Meanwhile Mac is just like; "He's a toddler. They all want to fight heaven."]

Well, he's not wrong. I am told as a small child I advocated for burning the government whenever the adults complained about something relating to politics. I was quite the anarchist.

[albeit one thats technically his uncle(?) he's not gonna worry about that part.]

I did one read a book where the middle-school-aged-MC had a two-year-old Baby Aunt. I also thought it was odd - but also one hell of a way to find out your parents/grandparents are still getting it on.

Gonna have to be my replies under Read more soon cus gotdang you really give me a lot to talk about! /positive :D

[Goodness, that guy has to earn a LOT of overtime to deal with SWKs and the fams nonsense. Hope they invite him to family events too X)]

SWK's lawyer def gets a yearly holiday card, and invites to family events. He's practically family after the first couple of scandals.

[I wanna write something funny, but all I can make up is the image of Reborn Nuwa shoving as much money and stuff as possible as Hush Money so that their connection stays a secret. I feel like that would make Smokey super-duper mad.]

F in chat to poor Smokey; who wanted a meaningful relationship/an apology from his creators and now only has worthless hush money, and a small son/brother(?) to take care of.

[Damn, so Mac's also royalty! Although, how well known was that if he worked as PIFs attendant in the Celestial Realm?]

The Celestial Realm recognised LMK!Mac as *belonging* to the supreme Mood Deity, but were unsure exactly how. He's a monkey after all, and Taiying is human (they think). Maybe he's her pet? Alchemy experiment gone wrong? Either way, he was a calming influence on the young and frustrated Princess Tieshan, so he was at least treated with the same respect as a lady-in-waiting - although not as much as humanoid celestial would be.

If the Celestial Realm knew the Six Eared Macaque was the child of the Supreme Moon Deity, then he might have had some weight to throw around the court - if Lady Taiying recognised him as such. Otherwise its another aspect they would have mocked him for - whats more to them than another illegitimate noble?

Also; Plum accidentally breaking all the other LEMs cus he didn't realise that they didn't know about their origins. XD

[…now I am curious how Babs and Gibs came to be…what's their lineage? And do they know of it?]

Odds are those two were created by separate star entities long before the modern earth even existed. Earth is were they spent their teenage/college years essentially before they retired to space. If they know of their origins, they don't care much.

Rest of replies under Read More!

[Hmm…how do the LEM's (and rest of the Pilgrims if they are around) feel about Luzhen?]

Most of the LEMs are shocked silent for the most part.

Plum/LMK!Mac: in particular a little annoyed but adoring that a tiny copy of Wukong has been dropped onto his lap. But hey, free baby is free baby. Will kill anything that dares to inflict any of SWK's trauma onto Luzhen.

Zhanshi/HiB!LEM: immediately goes full mom-mode on the infant monkey. Little guy needs a stable home after all! Hunting down his primordial in-laws for answers can wait... for now.

Liang/Reborn!LEM: is a little faster to accept Luzhen as their responsibility than Smokey, and helps to be the "softer" parent of the two. They def agree that the gods can screw off tho.

Olive/Netflix!LEM: is initially so freaked out that they don't want anything to do with Luzhen. But the moment the little guy reaches out for a hug... who is Olive to deny him? A bit colder, but is warming up fast. Is the one who holds Luzhen while Cherry fights the gods - like the infamous "Get his ass baby, I got your flower" except flower is baby.

Joker/NewGods!LEM: is already bouncing the kid on his knee. Its a shock but hey, its like how they got their MK. Little guy is stinking adorable too. Is also very mad at the gods for being so irresponsible. Probably gets really defensive when people ask if him and Ace are Luzhen's grandparents tho.

Spice/2000s!LEM: is scared. So very scared. Mostly out of worry. He's just coming to terms with his own creation/identity, and now there's a bonus Wukong?! What if the gods take Luzhen away!? He needs to sit down a bit. Takes him a while to see Luzhen as more than a extension of SWK, afterwards its more mentor and tudi vibes.

Meihouwang Mihou: is... still in shock. He reacted badly enough to Shihou's arrival, and now an entire infant version of Shihou needs food and parents to take care of him. Its overwhelming. And then Shihou approaches him for advice? On how to raise Luzhen? Oh gosh, maybe this was a sign from the gods. His ears are flooded with the sounds of wedding bells and laughing infants. This oz his and Shihou's baby now. Still asks the Elder monkeys for help tho, since he barely knows what to do more than Shihou does.

Lilac/Smash!LEM: is hesistant to get close. They feel that they can't just drop everything to raise a whole kid, not with their career quicky on the rise. Their Wukong is such a good caretaker tho, and Lilac feels a little guilty when they can't join in on family time. Def dedicates a song about "little falling stars" to Luzhen, and has frequent video calls when he's away. Vows to spoil the kid anytime they're together to make up for any time lost.

The other pilgrims are having bluescreen errors every time they try thinking about the ramifictions of multiple earth/creation gods pulling up to drop lore like that.

The Tripitakas are torn between "Oh its a blessing!" and "Oh sweet Buddha, theres two of them now." HiB!Liuer has already claimed his Luzhen as his little brother/fellow tudi.

You know the Zhu Bajie's are laughing their butts off once the shock wears off. Lots of child support jokes. Declares themselves the different Luzhens' uncles.

Sha Wujing is a little more... unsettled. Why did a bunch of gods just show up- oh sweet buddha they're Older Brother Sun's creators?! And theres' a little Sun now!? Reborn!SWJ def has a small breathing-into-a-paper-bag anixety attack. Afterwards though they feel a greater kinship, with their Luzhens and SWKs. After all, they feel "discarded" by the gods also.

[I am picturing Dasheng looking at either of the gods in question and going, "Oh look at that, the deadbeats are here. Have you brought the child support or do I have to boot you off my mountain again?"]

The idea of Dasheng looking the earth gods in the eye and calling them "deadbeats" is the most perfectly in-character thing for him ever. I love it.

[You know, I once read that we grow up to be the person our younger selves would have felt the safest with. Paraphrased a bit, but the idea is there. They are two different people, but, maybe he can help heal his inner child in this way.]

That is literally the most sweetest and heartbreaking thing. Smokey considers himself "broken", but Luzhen as "still good enough" to help. By being a good protector and influence, he secretly hopes to heal the scared child he once was. :']

Meanwhile, Netflix!SWK/Cherry is fighting any gods that dare threaten to take his mini-me away.

[how would SWK and/or LEM handle a child with cognitive disabilities - like serious ones at that?]

Honestly? Pretty ok. They know that people can be born "different" and have different hurdles to overcome. In the wild, macaques are known to pay extra attention to troop members with disabilities, and treat them kindly.

I hc MK as having adhd, which really affects his attention and short term memory, so Shadowpeach have been working with that for a long time. Wukong and Macaque themselves are very autistic-coded (which makes my autistic butt very happy), and would have a lot of insight to how the kid might be feeling.

If one of their kids has another serious cognitive impairment, like being non-verbal, they'll find a way to adapt to it. SWK 100% has learned both forms of CSL over the years, and does a refresher in prep for MK's arrival. Helps a lot when the more monkey-ish side of the kids means that they don't verbalize for a long time compared to human kids.

[one hell of a way to find out your parents/grandparents are still getting it on.]

MK had that crisis at age 19 when the Lunar Nodelets were on the way. Like when he found out it was at a high-stress moment so he barely had time ot process it; "We had just saved the world from the Lady Bone Demon and you two were...?! Ugh! I need to wash my brain out."

Nezha had a more firey reaction when he learned of the Eclipse Twins years prior. He didn't even know the monkeys did that stuff. He was uber-grossed out in an almost cooties sort of way, but also in a "please for the love of buddha, don't fill the celestial realm with your spawn"-kind of way.

Tysm for sending so many cool questions in! You really rock my create brain <3

[rancidpancakebatter]

hey, i hope you're doing amazing! i was wondering if you could write a tasm!peter fic based on the song 'honest' by the neighbourhood? it can be reaaally angst, i promise i won't complain, not even a little bit! thankk you soo muuch in advance, i love your writing! ♡

You want angst? I'll give you angst

Honest by The Neighborhood [P.P.] | The Playlist

Pairing: TASM!Peter Parker x Reader

Word count: 4.6K

Summary: Peter is lying. Peter has been lying. And now you have to find out why.

Content: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption (legal age), Mentions of blood (Spider-Man injuries but nothing too graphic), break up,

( Paylist | Masterlist | Fic Break down: 1|2])

A/N: I'm making my way through my asks and It's been great. Thank you for all that submit things to my ask box, I love seeing it :))

You pace your room, a vexing mix of emotions swirling in your gut. You had to talk to him. You couldn’t keep doing this. You were confused. You were angry. You were hurt. But really you were scared. You were scared for Peter. You couldn’t understand it. You couldn’t understand him.

You were supposed to have a date last night. You had been looking forward to it all week. Your boss had been up your ass lately, demanding you reformat your analytics debrief six different times. There was family drama your mother was constantly updating you on and asking for guidance in a situation you were too exhausted to deal with. And you hadn’t had a chance to go grocery shopping (due to the overtime you had to put in), so your cabinets were bare and your fridge bereft.

All-in-all, not a good time. Peter had promised that he would see you. That you would be together. But instead, you waited in your fancy dress and painful shoes for four hours, drowning your sorrows in wine and staring at your unanswered texts. Waiting, always waiting.

Peter had always been a bit flakey. He would often ask to reschedule or push back plans, garnering some excuse as to why he couldn’t make it on time. It was a bit annoying, but not the end of the world. Peter liked to take things slow, and you respected that.

You went on seven dates before he kissed you. You'd been dating for six months before he said I love you, and you didn’t sleep together until a month later. You figured Peter just had a fear of intimacy, but he seemed to be trying, and you didn’t want to pressure him. But he has pushed you too far. Your patience is gone. 

The wine was almost empty; you had ditched your glass a while ago. There was no point in keeping up with social etiquettes when it was just you. It’s not like you were going to share it with anyone. Not anymore, at least.

You heard a knock on your door and made no attempt to answer it. You were playing music, but it wasn’t loud enough to warrant a visit from any neighbours. You didn’t feel up to a social call, so you continued to wallow. 

“(Y/n)? (Y/n), honey, it’s me. Can you open the door please?”

For a moment, you thought it was a hallucination. Your drunken mind stringing you along, taunting you with the one thing you wanted. 

He knocked again, “(Y/n), I know you’re in there. Just open the door.”

You scoffed and took another sip, “Look, your mad; I get it. I understand, and you have every right to be. I’m so, so sorry. Please, I- I want to apologise.”

You felt your body temperature rise and anger slowly build in your veins as it pushed out the self-pity you had once been filled with. You took unsteady steps towards the door, the cold tile against your bare feet making you shiver.

You undid the deadbolt but kept the chain in place, opening the door and peeking your face through the gap. You just looked at each other for a moment, a silent stare down. Your gaze held a certain animosity, while his was filled with relief, though it grew confused when the door stayed in its partially opened state. 

“Can I come in?” You say nothing as you continue to stare him down.

“Please, I know you’re mad-” If he says that again you just might scream. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. 

“You don’t know anything, Peter.” Your words slur together, and the t’s don’t come out just right, but you’re sure he understands precisely how angry you are with the venom you spit out alongside his name. 

His brows furrow as he looks over your face. “Are you- are you drunk?”

You keep your glare intact as you think over your answer. You could lie, but you didn’t need a mirror to tell you that your cheeks were adorned by a familiar warmth, and your lips were surely tinted with an obvious magenta stain.

“Yes, but that’s none of your business. Good night.” You move to close the door, but Peter’s hand stops you. 

“Uhng- Wait. Ow, shit- just wait a second, please.” You slowly open the door again, not for his pleas but for his expressions of pain. 

This time you look at him, really look at him. You can see a bit of blood on his lip, a bruise on his cheek, and his hand holding his side. You feel a chill run down your spine. 

“Back up.” He takes a step back, taking his weight off the door while you undo the chain lock and usher him inside. 

You set him on the couch and winced along with him. You rushed to your bathroom and prepared a warm washcloth and some band-aids you found under the sink. Maybe you should invest in a first-aid kit. You had never needed one before.

You returned to Peter’s side and raised your hand to his face. It wasn’t really necessary, his eyes have been locked on you since entering. But you lifted his chin anyway, a silent promise to hold him close.

You wiped gingerly at his lip, wiping away any dried blood and grime. It was obvious that he had wiped at it a few times. 

“I’m so sorry. Really I-” You lightly pinched his chin. 

“Hush. I don’t need an apology. I- I just…Peter, are you okay?” You could feel your eyes watering, tears swimming forth and resting on the verge.

In his eyes, you could see the once-sweet cacao of his irises tainted by fear and distress. It pained you to see it, so you stopped looking. You grabbed his hands instead, gingerly wiping down each finger, tracing the tendons and fate lines. 

“I’ll be okay.” His hand was still holding his side, and you moved it, slowly lifting his shirt to look underneath. 

The wound stretched from his lat to his hip, twisting toward his stomach. It looked like a giant rug burn. No, more like a scrape you would get on your knee after tripping on the sidewalk. Only deeper. You could still see bits of gravel lodged between the flesh, and you grimaced at the thought. That had to be so very painful.

You wished you had rubbing alcohol so you could clean it. A wound of that size, that exposed, was sure to get infected. You used the rag as gently as possible and mumbled a sorry every time he hissed. You didn’t make much progress before he grabbed your hand, calling your name sweetly. 

“Hey, hey. Just leave it be. Really, it’s fine.” He tries to comfort you with a smile, but it’s tired at the edges, his drooping eyes not matching the expression.

You can feel yourself choking up but try to swallow it down because Peter needs you right now. He shouldn’t have to be the strong one.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, “Wh-what happened, Pete? Who did this to you?”

He swallows before he answers.

“I…got mugged.” You tense for a second.

“You got mugged?” If Peter noticed how your concern drifts, he made no comment on the matter.

“…Yes.” You drop his hands, let go of him.

You turned your body away as you stared at the wall. Your tears were dangerously close to falling. This is when your patience broke. This exact moment. It snapped, stretched too thin and tested too often.

It shattered along with your heart, shards scattered across the uneven floors of your apartment. The wine in your system did nothing to dull the pain of heartbreak. You felt every crack and splinter as it slowly broke apart, then burst all at once.

“Are you sure?” Your voice is cold, your capability for sympathy floating away in waves. 

You saw him tilt his head in confusion from your peripheral. Any other time you would have thought it was adorable- compared him to a Yorkie or a Spaniel- but his act of innocence only made you angrier now.  

“Yeah…why?” 

You remained silent as you got up from your seat, walking around the back of the couch to the side he was sitting on. You grabbed his backpack, tucked into the side as if he had hidden it, and dropped it on the coffee table. Peter’s eyes widened at the site. 

“So you got mugged…and your backpack is still in perfect order?”

The canvas was unstained, the zippers undamaged. The bag was in its normal state of distress. You watched as his face began to flush, and his mouth opened and closed uselessly.

You waited for a response, but when he refused to give one- you pushed forward. You unzipped its pockets and pulled out the valuables that were all unharmed and very obtainable to anyone who wanted to take them by force. 

“You got mugged, and they let you keep your camera, your laptop, the Beats I got you for Chanukah, and your wallet with… ” You dramatically counted the cash in front of him, “forty-two dollars in it?” 

“It- he…uh… ” You tapped your foot as your arms rested firmly in a crossed position. 

“It wasn’t a successful mugging,” He finally settled on. 

“What happened? Exactly.” Peter squirmed on the couch a bit as if running from your anger. 

“He, uh, stopped me. And then he took out a… knife. And then he told me to give him all my stuff, and when I started to run, he knocked me down. We fought for a bit, and then I got away.” Peter looked you in the eyes while he uttered, which only infuriated you more.

“When did this happen? Where? What did he look like?”

You continued to grill him as he fumbled through each answer he gave you. Your anger climbed with every word he said. He might have been able to convince May, but you knew his tells. 

Usually, he would ramble, giving entirely too much context to a situation, caught up wholly in the story. But when he lied, he said as little as possible. Peter fidgeted a lot. If he was sitting, you could bet one, if not both, of his feet, were bouncing. But now he sat before you almost perfectly still. Shifting his body around slowly, his discomfort evident.

“Peter, how the fuck do you get yanked across the concrete hard enough to get an injury like that? Did you get assaulted by Mike Tyson? It looks like you were hitched to a truck and dragged.” You ask, angrily pointing at where his hand continues to rest on his side.

“You’ve told me this story three times now, and not once did you mention that. I’m not buying it; just tell me what happened.” You watch as Pete shifts again, propping his elbows on his knees as he brings his head into his palms.

He sits there for a moment before he ruffles his hair and sits back up. “Okay, you got me. I-I fell on my skateboard. I was just embarrassed about it.”

“You missed our date…because you were skateboarding.” It wasn’t a question because that wasn’t the truth either. "You're telling me that you hurt yourself this severely, and disappeared for however many hours because you randomly decided to ride your skateboard for the first time in almost a year, and you were embarrassed."

Peter broke out into another story, but you blocked it out. You weren’t a particularly violent person, but Peter was pushing you to that level.

You clenched your fist as you fought the urge to grab everything within reach and chuck it at his incredibly thick head, maybe knocking some sense into him. You felt like you were losing your mind. You were seconds from snapping, and you weren’t sure what that would look like.

Your head was pounding, and your buzz was long gone. You weighed your options for a minute before releasing a terse sigh, cutting off his newly woven tall tale.

“Are you gonna bleed out and die tonight?” You still couldn’t look at him; you focused instead on memorising the phosphenes dancing behind your eyelids.

“No, I’ll be okay, I promise.”

You almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his statement. Here you were, arguing over his blatant dishonesty, and he thinks you’ll accept his promise? You felt sore from the way your muscles had been tensing.

“Then get out.” You didn’t need to look at him to know how pitiful he must look. 

“What?” He sounded so small, and you felt bad for a moment, but only a moment. 

“I said, get out, Peter. If you can’t be honest with me, then…just leave.” You finally open your eyes, utterly defeated.

He stood, taking a step toward you but stopping when you backed away. “(Y/n/n), I’m telling you the truth-”

“No! You’re not! And I don’t want to hear another word. Not tonight.” You held your head in your hands, blinking back tears. 

He froze, staring at you incredulously. He looked completely distraught, and while you wanted to feel bad, all you could think was maybe now he understood how you felt. Just how terrible this exchange made you feel.

You didn’t really want to kick him out; you wanted him to hold you close and tell you everything was okay. You wanted him to change into his sweats and scold you for stealing his sleep shirt, forcing him to remain shirtless. You wanted him to complain about you keeping him up by staring at him while he tried to sleep. You wanted him to retaliate by rolling over on top of you, peppering you kisses and pretending to fall asleep like that.

You wanted to go back, return to normalcy. But the damage was done, and no patchwork could turn this around. 

You pushed his backpack toward him, across the table, and that seemed to break him from his trance. He slowly threw it over his shoulder, giving you a tearful glance before he walked to the door. You followed him to the threshold, and he only took one step into the hallway before whipping around to face you. 

“Not tonight…but when?”

You hastily swiped a tear that had fallen from your eye, “I need space. I need to calm down and think before we discuss this anymore.”

Peter's jaw quivered slightly before he forced the muscles to tighten. He turned, and his heavy steps echoed in the hall. You close the door behind him and finally let the tears fall. Your body racked with sobs as you sunk to the floor, the exhaustion catching up to you. You felt utterly deflated, devastated by Peter’s inability to just talk to you, to be honest. You ended up falling asleep there. 

Three days had passed. Peter had texted you thrice. That night he told he was sorry and he hoped you were okay. You didn’t respond.

Obviously, you weren’t okay, but you didn’t know how to communicate that without blaming him and inevitably starting another fight. He texted you again halfway through the next day to ask how yours was. You had spent it fighting the urge to go to Aunt May to cry to her instead of your playlist of heartwrenching songs.

You knew she would give you comfort and support, knowing exactly how it feels to be lied to by Peter, but you also didn’t want to put her in that situation. You didn’t tell him this; you didn’t say anything. The last message Peter sent you just read: “let me know when you’re ready to talk. I’ll be here.”

As you paced around your bedroom, you think you’ve finally reached a mindset that was level-headed-adjacent. You had calmed down significantly.

You didn’t like feeling angry. But for you to get as upset as you did, was borderline unacceptable. You had to acknowledge that Peter’s lies had been gnawing at you for a while so you could begin to heal. And now, as the sun sits high in the sky, you bask in its beams. You sit on your bed and hug a pillow to your chest; your phone weighs heavy in your hands as your thumbs hover over your keypad. 

You had come to the conclusion that you were both at fault. Peter had lied. He had lied often. He had scared you. He kept you in the dark, but you made it your home. You never called him out for it. You never communicated your fear or concern, or why you felt you needed him to tell you the truth. But you also realised that being open and honest, that communication, came with trust.

If Peter wasn’t coming to you, it was because he didn’t trust you, and you had to open your mind to the possibility that that could be your fault. You decided that needed to be the basis of your conversation. And you were finally ready to do it. You were determined to save this relationship.

You texted Peter that you were ready to talk, and for once, he responded immediately. You felt a little bad that he hadn’t heard from you yet, but you didn’t want to lash out; you were looking for a resolution. You asked to meet at his place, “I’m home all day.”

You go over everything you want to say as you walk down the street. It was a forty-five-minute walk between you and Peter’s place. You could take the bus, but you wanted the walk. You wanted the fresh air and constant motion. You were nervous, but if you were walking, you didn’t have to focus on it. 

When the door opens, Peter’s eyes light up. As if looking at you brightens his mood alone. He wore a timid smile, and his shoulders were tense, but his eyes twinkled in the hallway fluorescents just because they fell on you.

He invited you in and sat down on the couch. He attempted to make small talk, and you tried your best to answer without saying anything that may garner guilt. 

“I’m sorry,” Peter suddenly blurted out. 

You opened your mouth to respond, but he continued, “I missed our date, and I didn’t text you. I am so, so sorry. That wasn’t okay, and I promise to do better.”

You took his hand, and he seemed to relax a bit. “Peter that- yeah, that sucked. But that’s not what I’m upset about.”

You could almost feel Peter’s nerves, like his anxiety was shooting out of the pads of his fingers and into you. “I am worried about you. You are often…harmed in some way or late, and you can never tell me why. And I just- I’m-”

Maybe it was your nerves you were feeling. “I’m worried you don’t trust me. I wanted to know if there was something I could do to remedy that.”

Peter grips your hand a little tighter, “I trust you. Of course, I trust you.”

His words soak into your skin, and you feel anger bubbling within you. But it’s not just rage; it’s exhaustion. You’ve done this song and dance, and the tune no longer excites you. You know now that there’s no way to avoid it. If he claims it’s not you then you have to confront him. But you didn’t really want to. You knew the question but feared the answer. The words lodged in your throat, and it felt harder to breathe. 

Say it, You thought. You should say it.

“So, then, why do you lie?”

He pulled back from you slowly enough that you could feel him slipping away. 

“I don’t.”

Another lie. 

The anger grew as it bubbled in your gut; it was close to a rolling boil. The steam is building, creating pressure. 

“Cut the shit, Parker. I know you weren’t mugged, and I know you weren’t on your damn skateboard. Why won’t you tell me what happened? Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are! Just tell me!”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

He looked at you like it pained him to say it. As if in some way, he knew how this hurts you, and it hurt him too. But he couldn’t know. He couldn’t understand. 

“Peter, I’m kinda losing my mind here. I mean, you are always late or busy, but it’s never with your job. I’ve caught you several times using May as an excuse, not realising that I was with her. And if you do show up, you’re covered in bruises. You have scars that you can’t explain. And anytime I ask about any of it I get vague, nonsensical answers. Why? Why can’t you tell me what’s going on? I wish you could be honest with me.”

His face falls. You see the guilt flash across his face for the briefest of moments, but then it’s gone, replaced by an expression of faux ire as he stands from the couch. He stands up straighter, his shoulders squared and fists balled at his sides. It was a defensive stance, and he fell into it so naturally, you wondered how often he did.

“Tell me this: Why’d you stick around; why’d you stay with me? If you know I’m lying, why?”

If you didn’t know him, you would have been hurt by his tone, filled with disdain and contempt. But you knew Peter Parker. He was trying to push you away again.

He would go through these cycles where he would shower you in adoration, tell you that you were perfect and amazing, and how he was so lucky to have you. But then he would freak out. He would ghost you and act distant. When you could finally pin him down, he would confess that he felt he didn’t deserve you or the love you poured out for him.

The fact that he was doing it now frustrated you to no end. You could feel your hair greying.

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! Jesus, Peter, I love you. And I knew you had some issues, but no one is perfect. And I’m not asking you to be. I’m just asking for you to be truthful with me. And if you can’t do that, I’m asking for an explanation. What am I doing wrong? How do I fix this, Peter? Please, give me something, anything!”

You were pulling at your hair, on the verge of tears. Your breathing erratic. You felt like you were going to explode; your atoms were seconds from throwing off electrons left and right until they all decayed and left you in a pile of mush.

“What- You’re not doing anything wrong, okay? You’re great, amazing even. It’s not you.”

Peter placed his hands on yours, pulling them away from your head and placing them over his heart. You steady your breaths in time with his.

“Then why? Why do you lie to me, Peter?”

“It’s to keep you safe.”

“Safe from what? What are you running from?”

“Look, I can’t. I can’t tell you, alright? I can’t put you in danger like that.”

It was Peter’s turn to tense and your turn to soothe.

“Hey, we’re in this together. We’re supposed to grow and learn and chase our dreams together.” You intertwined your fingers and bring them to your lips. “ Peter, if you're in danger I want to know. Let me help you, please.”

Something in Peter snaps. His eyes are now cold as he pushes your hands away, taking a step back. If he had walls up before, you were now looking at a fortress. Fort Knox. Castle Rock. 

“You. Can’t. Help. Me.” He spoke the words with finality. “Do you hear me? I don’t want your help.”

You felt his words rip and tear through you, taking part of you with them. A deep cut by a serrated blade. You did your best to apply pressure to the wound, to keep going- to make him see. 

“But that’s what you do. When you love someone, you help them. You do it all the time, whether it’s carrying my groceries up the stairs when the elevator’s down. Or when you run me a bath after a stressful day-”

“That’s different, (Y/n).” You shake your head furiously.

“No. No, it’s not. You help me because you love me. Let me do the same.” You’re pleading with him at this point; your dignity lone gone. 

Peter looks to the ground and says nothing. You feel your heart sink; he says nothing. “Peter?”

Still nothing. “Peter?”

You feel like you might vomit. “Do you…Do you love me?”

Your ears are ringing in the silence. He finally lifts his head, and his eyes are rimmed with tears, but still, he says nothing. 

His hesitation kills you. This is it. This is your end. Peter Parker doesn’t love you. The last bit of hope in you fades, and you feel hollow. His love had died, and so have you. The revelation is almost enough to bring you to your knees. 

“I couldn’t save it,” You whisper so faintly one might mistake it for a draft from a leaky window. “I couldn’t save it.”

You cry. Hadn’t really done that in front of Peter before. You’ve teared up sure, maybe had one or two slip, but this was something else. This was a steady stream down both cheeks. This was raspy gasps from your chest. This was ugly. 

And Peter just stood there. 

You collapsed onto the couch as you started to shake. You felt like everything was falling apart. If you thought your heart had been suffering before, you were wrong. It had now been obliterated.

There were no shards or mess, only a plume of smoke and a singed cavity where the muscle once was. It burned and burned, eating itself alive until there was nothing left.

You wondered if this is what stars felt- this fear, this betrayal- before they succumb to their own crushing gravity, exploding with a grand flourish…and then nothing. 

You wiped your face. He had lied to you for the last time. You held no sympathy for him. You found it hard to believe that he didn’t love you, but if you were right, what does that say about Peter? He was deeply hurt. You saw glimpses of it when Peter would lose you in the store, when he would wake you up with a night terror, when he lied. You loved him, for better or for worse, you did. But you couldn’t do this; you deserved better. 

You stand and grab your bag, throwing it over your shoulder. You make it across the floor and to the front door before Peter says anything.

“Wait, where are you going?”

You bite your tongue, holding back as many scathing comments as you can. Most of them call him out for pushing you away and being upset when it works. But instead, you settle on something else, something you think is a little nicer. 

“I hope you find a way to be yourself someday.”

When you look back at him, he looks like he’s seconds from shattering. But maybe once he falls apart, he can build himself back up. You hope he does. 

“I pray for the best for you, Peter.” And that was true. Even as you shut the door behind you, even as you silenced his notifications on your phone, even when your friends shit on him- trying to make you feel better. You hoped that he would get the best life had to offer. You hoped it would be a little kinder to him.

Taglist: @andrews-lovr, @barbecuetiddy, @cherriescherriesred25, @djdre92, @heejinw0rld, @ilovemoonknight, @negasonic-teenage-asshole, @preciousbabypeter, @princesskittycatofmeowland, @purple-amaranthe, @raajali3, @rudy-the-winged-wolf, @scorpiolystoned, @wannapizzamymindposts, @whoreforklitz

[lyon-amore]

With you until the end of the world Chapter 4

Chapter 3

*Angel POV*

I've become Jake's connection to the outside. It doesn't bother me since that way I can find out if there is news that my parents might be looking for me. It's been a month and there's still no one talking about a girl who ran off with a mystery guy. I walk the streets to go to the studio. From time to time I stop by so they can see that I use it, I stay for a few minutes and I leave. I haven't told Jake that I sent a letter to my parents, saying that I'm fine. Of course, I don’t put the address where we stayed. I have thought that every end of the month I will write to them and put different addresses. I don't want them to worry about me and look for me. I also don't go into details about who I'm with. Maybe the only one who knows is my mother? She always knew what was wrong with me and I told her but I didn't say many things. I didn't want to talk about Jake, just say that there was a boy I liked.

Okay, this might be the second thing I've kept from Jake. I also enter my mail, but disconnected. I have read the messages that my friends have sent me, wondering why I don’t answer my phone. Because I haven't told them anything. Lian asked me the day I left why I hadn't gone to work, later she found out from my parents that I had left, she wrote to me asking why I didn't tell her anything, since she was my best friend. The more I go up, the more messages I see that from when they found out. Most of the messages are from Jessy, Dan and Lilly. Jessy who has been writing more as if she were telling me how her day to day is going and that in the end she has decided to move, she’s looking for a apartment in Colville. It seems that texting me serves as therapy for her. Lilly texts me disappointed that I didn't tell her I was running away with Jake. Rather, she's mad at both of us for not telling her what we were planning to do. Dan writes to me worried that something might happen to me as I run away, if I might get in trouble with the law for being with Jake or if they might want to kill me because of him. I'd love to write back and tell them I'm fine, but they've already risked too much because of us. I decide to archive the emails so I can read them later.

I stand looking at the televisions in a store. They still talk about what happened in Duskwood and how the FBI showed up looking for a criminal. I see that they also name me quickly and I cover myself better. I want them to forget about this topic once and for all.    "Isn't Hannah Donfort the sister of that girl who made that video accusing two people of kidnapping her?" I hear a girl ask another.    "Yeah, what happened to her?" the other asks.     I walk away from there, continuing my way to the study. There are still “I am Jake” graffiti on some streets or some Nymos eyes. Where I lived, they gave my father and the other policemen headaches. Teenagers were the ones who painted the most. Then, after my article, it got a little worse. More overtime for my father.

I enter the building and go up to the studio, inserting the key to gain access. I lower my hood as I look inside. It's sparsely furnished and the blinds are down, it's only lit by the light from the computer. I check that everything is working fine and take out my phone to text Jake. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel

The computer is in perfect condition

Function correctly, as always

-----Jake has connected-----

Jake

Perfect.

Any problem upon arrival?

Angel

All good

No one following me, sir!

Jake

Do not call me sir.

I feel older.

Angel

Well, you're older than me 😝

Jake

Fine.

Well, being older than I am, you know that you must obey me, right?

Maybe tonight I can find a place for you to obey.

Angel 😳

Jake ;)

Be careful when you come back.

Make sure no one follows you.

Angel

OK

Something special to eat?

Jake

Hmm… Choose you today.

Angel

Well…

You? 😏

Jake

Ha ha.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I will be with the computer for a bit.

Angel

I know

I fancy something Italian

How about?

Jake

Of course:)

Angel

So, see you 😊

Jake

I will be waiting, angel.

-----Jake has disconnected----- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I put my phone away and pull up my hood. I'm not disappointed not to have intimate moments with Jake, honestly. Maybe at first we were a little…needy of each other, but now we just joke about these things on the phone. Also, it's not just about us having sex, for me, the fact that he caresses my hair when he is working on the computer or that we talk about the things we like being in the same room, without interruptions, is what I like the most. When I go to sleep, he stays next to me with his laptop, stroking my cheek gently, whispering how much he loves me as I drift off to sleep. I feel so complete with him.

I want that the day he is free; I can present him to my parents, that they see that he is someone special to me. Maybe at first my father wouldn't like it, but when he saw that they have the same taste in movies or a strong sense of justice, perhaps he likes him better, or also, the one who sees that he respects his daughter like no one has ever done before. I want that future for both of us.

Even though Jake hasn't told me anything about his past yet, it's like he's still afraid to tell me anything about his life for fear someone might take it from me by force. I hope that some day he will tell me something about his life, some detail. No one would ever get information out of Jake from me. I choose death rather than betray him.

*Jake POV*

I keep an eye on the data from the rental agency to know when people will come to look at the apartment. We have been here for a month with no problems and that relieves me, but I am sure we will have to leave eventually. You can never stay in one place for too long, so I have made a plan in case we have to leave.

I avoid thinking that I use her to monitor the computer. I think I like it better think that I do not keep her in here bored while I work on the computer. And according to her, she wants to know if there is talk of her disappearance, if her parents have caused a scandal to look for her. I do not know whether to care about jer words, I do not want to look like a kidnapper again. She told me not to worry about it, that she had made it very clear in writing that it was her decision.

While I am creating another surveillance program to detect any suspicious activity around me, I receive a notification that I have been named in his social network, again, posting a picture of me. I hacked his account to delete the post. I know he is been looking for me for a long time, but he does not know that he could risk being hunted down.    “Sorry buddy, but I can not let you put yourself in danger.” I mutter, heading back to the computer.     I make a small noise, complaining. I get a message. It is assumed that he would not have to send me one again if it was not that I did it. And I was not thinking about doing it again either, he already risked enough when I asked him to put the Nymos sticker on. But there have been so many messages that I have had enough. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comet

Hey

Uh…

I know that I have sent you many messages

That I risk getting in touch with you again, but…

I don't know anything about you Jake 😔 and that worries me ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just hope he is talking meanwhile diverting his IP to another. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nymos

Comet, do not text me again.

Comet

Jake!

Do you know how many messages I have sent you?!

When I found out that the FBI was in Duskwood, I was worried!

Nymos

You risk writing to me.

Stop doing it or we will both be in trouble.

Comet I don’t care

Nymos

You can get your father in trouble.

Comet

He don't know nothing, he's busy keeping tabs on the people you messed with 😑

And enough of both of you treating me like a child when I'm an adult!

Just tell me if you're in trouble and I'll deflect any signals

Nymos I already have it under control. Do not worry.

And I do not treat you like a child, I just do not want to get my little brother in trouble. :)

Comet

Always with that habit of not worrying others when we already are 😠

And what about her? Don't worry about how I am for you?

Nymos

Angel is fine, do not worry about her.

Comet

Angel?

Who is Angel?

Wait… 😱 OH!

YOU ARE

SHE

WHAT?!

SHE RUN AWAY WITH YOU?!

Nymos

It was her decision.

Comet

I see that friends don’t enter the sack of the privileged 😒

Nymos

I could not make her see reason.

But I take good care of her.

I will not let anything bad happen to her.

Comet

Hmm…

If you trust her…

Nymos

I trust her.

Comet

Alright, alright

Just be careful…

Nymos

Henry, she is trustworthy.

Comet

But do you know that her father is a cop?

I wouldn’t trust her 😐

Nymos

She has always shown me that I can trust her.

She would have given me away long ago.

Comet

But this time you’re with her, it’s different 😰

Don’t let it give you away

-----Comet has disconnected----- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I sigh. I have known Henry since he was a child, I myself helped him find a home and a father, we taught him everything we knew about security and hacking. He admired me and continues to admire me, to the point that when I contacted him again for help, he would not stop talking and asking me where I had been. Very persistent, if I dare say. I told him about her and he was even glad that I cared for someone as much as I ever had before. Now his attitude towards her has changed, as if she is dangerous. I have to assume it was the FBI news that made him change his mind. It is not yet known who warned them.

But I know my angel was not.

I hear the door and let out a small laugh. She still has trouble using the lock picks. I get up from the ground and go to open the door, then lean against the frame with a smile. She looks at me with a frown, picks in hand.    "I almost had it." she replies, putting them in his pants pocket.    “You have to avoid leaving marks on the lock” I lean forward, approaching her face “, if you see that you cannot, leave it.”    “ 'If you see that you can't, leave it' “ she imitates me entering the house.     I stop her by placing a hand on her waist, turning her around. I place my hand on her chin and approach her lips.    "Are not you forgetting something?" I ask, whispering.     I go to kiss her and she places a bag in front of me.    "The food." She replies with a mischievous smile.     I roll my eyes and pick up the bag. It is she who kisses me, to later let out a laugh.    "I told you, I was hungry for you." She chuckles, wrapping her arms around my neck.    "You are going to drive me crazy, angel." I caress her lips, seeing a shy smile.    Her cheeks turn red and I feel her skin warm. I kiss her forehead and hear her sigh. She hugs me resting her head on my body.    “I'm home.” she says, and I hear happiness in her voice.    "Yes, you are." I reply, kissing her head.

   We sit on the ground. I take care of the program and she eats, watching what I do.    "Here." She tells me, approaching the pasta. I open my mouth and let him feed me. If it weren't for her, I would forget the most important needs in a human being.     She then gets upset that she does not deserve to be called an angel.    "Any news of your escape?" I ask after finishing swallowing the food.   “No, it seems that my parents have understood the letter I left them correctly” she answers after she has finished swallowing “, besides, I told them that it wouldn't be forever.”     I nod understanding her words. She can come back without problems whenever she wants, I do not keep her by my side.    “What are you doing now?” she asks, dragging herself over to me, setting the food container aside.    "I am trying to create a better surveillance program around us" I answer without taking my eyes off the screen “, I want to collect the information of the people around us and know if any of them could be an undercover agent if I look at their messages.”    "Won't it be dangerous?" She does not sound worried, more curious.     I look at her raising an eyebrow.    "Do not you know who you are talking to?"     She looks me up and down, cocking her head. She raises her hand to her face and dabs with her finger.    “Well, no, I don't know” I take her by the wrist and attract her to me, beginning to tickle her “No! Stop!” She exclaimed between laughs.    “I am going to make you remember who you are talking to, angel.” I tell her, laying her down.    "Wasn't it that you had to work?" She smiled as she caressed my face.    "I can take a break."     She bites her lip and pulls her to me. Before I can kiss her, I hear the notification that he is put up another post again. I quickly part ways, deleting all information and photo from that post. Just about, if I am a second later… I raise my hands to my head, taking a deep breath. When will he give up?    "What's wrong, Jake?" She asks me worried.    "It is nothing" I reply, taking her hand and kissing it “. Do not worry, why do not you listen to some music while I work?”     I move a little and let her settle in with me. I start stroking her hair slowly, trying to make her forget what happened. But she did not make it.    “Are you sure you're okay?”     I lower my head to look at her and smile.    “Yes angel, I'm fine.” I kiss her forehead and she nods.     The less information she know about my past, the better. It would be risking too much.

Chapter 5 

[hanlixmin]

Him or Me?

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Angst?

Summary: Are you choosing him or him?

Your ex was a menace.

Ever since you became a really famous kpop idol, he’s always been on your case. He was jealous.

Working for JYP, and being signed, wasn’t always easy. The rules for the idols, was that their was to be no relationships. So, of course, you had to break it off with him. He wasn’t exactly happy and over time he started to become overly possessive of you.

Overtime, you’ve been spending a lot more time with Han Jisung. He was one of your very first friends when you got signed at JYP. The two of you have so much in common. Of course, you both have feelings for each other but neither of you wanted to take the steps to make it anything official due to the contract rules at JYP. Neither one of you wanted to put your groups at risk. You both stayed very close though, it was like you two were already a thing with no label.

Han was always very supportive of you and your group, as you were with his. You both went to each other’s dance practices, studio sessions, performances, concerts. Everything. Everybody around you two could see how great you are together.

On a free day, you and Han decided to go out to get some ice cream and take a walk around to take a break. It was peaceful. There wasn’t much people out.

As you’re walking to the ice cream shop, you both talked about any and everything.

“Hey, Han?” You asked, as he finished the statement he just said. “Yeah?” He asked, interested in what you were about to ask or say. “Would you still like me if I was a roach?” The question took him completely by surprise. He chuckled and looked at you as you were laughing hysterically. “Y/N..” He says, as he sighs and also bursts out laughing. “What?” You said, in between laughs. “Would you?” You asked, calming down. He chuckled and thought about it. “You see, I don’t like bugs but I guess if it was you? Still probably not. A roach? Come on now, Y/N.” You laughed a little bit, then poured. Which made Han laugh even more. “You wouldn’t like me anymore because I’d be a roach?” You asked, jokingly shocked. “Wow, Han. I thought you liked me.” You playfully rolled your eyes and started walking ahead of him. “Wait! I do! I do like you!” He said, running after you. “Just in human form. Not in roach form.” He added on, causing you to laugh. The rest of your walk consisted of you asking each other silly questions and laughing.

When you guys finally reached the ice cream shop, you walked in and examined all the flavors. When you walked up to the counter, you heard a familiar voice behind it giving you the chills. It was your ex. Han knew about him and knew how possessive he was, so when Han noticed you tense up, he wrapped his arm around you.

“Y/N?” Your ex asked from behind the counter. You just stood there pretending not to hear him as you waited for a different worker to come up. “You’re on a date?” He asked, clearly annoyed that you were ignoring him. You squeezed Hans hand. Han whispers to you to bring you comfort. “Let’s just order and we can go back to the company, okay? It won’t last long.” His voice was soft and gentle. You nodded. A girl walked up to you and finally took your order. As you waited, your ex was still trying to get your attention. “So, you can date him but you dumped me?” He said, walking up to the both of you. You tried looking past him, but he stood right in front of you. “She doesn’t want to speak to you, clearly. So could you please just leave her alone. You’re making her uncomfortable.” Han spoke, his voice was low and he was very mad. The whole mood of our day had been completely flipped and ruined.

Han was visibly pissed. With this whole situation going on, you didn’t even realize that you were standing there admiring Han. “Hello? Earth to Y/N?” Your overly annoying ex interrupted your thoughts. “Is it going to be him or me?” He asked, shouting for no apparent reason. The girl who once helped us, brought our ice cream. Han grabbed both but you could tell he was waiting for an answer as well. Han gave you a look that basically said you didn’t need to answer. You knew you’d be breaking JYP rules, but you didn’t care.

With no hesitation, you say your ice cream back onto the counter for a slight moment. The courage came to you full force as you looked at Han and smiled. You looked at your ex who was still looking into your soul. In that second, you kissed Han on his cheek. “It’s him. It’s always going to be him.” Han blushed and smiled as he placed his arm around you. He returned the kiss to your cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her.” Han said, with a smirk. With that, you guys left the ice cream shop.

Later on that night, you both talked about the events that had occurred. Neither one of you regretted the decision. You both were equally happy to know you guys had each other.

Do you have a request you want me to write? Message me and I’ll have it up when I can<3 All requests are welcome!

[ackermansimper]

Heyy I'm a huge simp simp for Kenny, can you do an mp officer being completely devoted to Kenny? Kinda like you did with Levi?

Sure! And sorry for being inactive for a few days. I was outta town and couldn't connect 😭

Kenny with someone completely devoted to him

You and Kenny met when he first joined the military. He made his little speech about not giving a damn and soon you were sold on his idea

You soon was able to catch him alone and tell him your devotion and loyalty towards him

"Sir!" you saluted. "I admire your prospects and perspective about.. all this. I wanna give you my loyalty and devotion. I'll stick around for whatever!"

Kenny wouldn't think much of it at first since he'd assume your just all talk. In fact he didn't feel obligated to care and would just leave you with your own feelings as he'd see it

He'd be intrigued once he saw you actually act on your so called 'devotion' towards him though.

You'd begin sticking by his side more often and dealing with anyone bothering you and the squad. You'd be there to deal with any back talk, you'd raise a sword for anyone threatening Kenny or coming too close, and you'd make sure everyone else stayed in line.

You were useful on his team to say the least and everyone knew it. You did end up becoming friends with the girl he made his second in command though. Traute Caven

Together you'd legit be unstoppable. You two would probably do most of the fighting while Kenny would begin threatening and holding knives up to people's necks

It worked for everyone on the squad and Kenny saw it fit so he never minded it

He'd definitely try joking with you a bit or teasing your intense loyalty towards him. He'd just get bored randomly and since you're always by his side, he'd start teasing the hell outta you

He'd find just about any reaction you gave funny. You could get mad or be awkward and he'd find it hilarious because of you usually resorting to violence yet you just stayed still

Kenny would feel a bit cocky having you on his team. He'd redeem you as one of his most worthy squad members and would be pretty vocal about it

Would definitely start insulting anyone you were beating down. Like he'd just be on the side insulting them while cheering you on in a way

If you ever were given the chance to protect Kenny and took it, he wouldn't admit you doing it. He'd probably come up with some lame excuse that he had it and didn't need you to swoop in so dramatically to save him

If he was able to save you though, he'd be hella arrogant about it. Even if you had the situation under control, he'd see himself as the hero in it

"Oi this time I saved your ass. You better be working overtime, weren't you supposed to be the one protecting me?"

It'd all be a very obvious joke but he'd never let you live it down

If you two were to ever actually end up getting together, he wouldn't have a doubt in his mind that you could handle yourself. He'd still look out for you despite this but wouldn't be obvious about it

He wouldn't go anymore softer on you though. Especially with other people around. He might be a bit more open to if you're alone but the most he'll ever do is thank you in a sorta awkward way for your loyalty

He isn't really emotional and crap so he wouldn't want you to ever get emotional. If you were to though, I think the thing holding him back from leaving is that you're valuable to his squad and he's in a relationship with you. That's the only reasons he has though

He usually isn't one for clingy people but since he first saw it as your loyalty which he needed, he would have gotten used to it from you already. He just would be less open to sappy clinginess. He prefers the clinginess where you kill people for him instead

Kenny isn't good with commitment so he'd respect you for yours. He'd definitely somewhat try though. More of a 'you scratch my back, I scratch yours' typa way though. It's the only excuse he'd have for doing it other than caring about you which he'd cringe too much to admit

Overall, Kenny would appreciate your efforts although he'd rarely say it. He'd have respect for you and a slight admiration which he usually doesn't just give out to anyone

♥ Thank you for reading ♥

Hope you enjoy, requests are opened! And I'm getting to the requests already in my inbox <33

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

Once upon a Midnight Dreary Chapter 4

I'm actually at chapter 7 "Enlocked", but CH5 will be posted next week, so I can have an established posting schedule.

I'll eventually update CH4 to AO3

This takes place around the 1800s, so be aware that some of the reactions are implied to be typical of the period. This does NOT reflect my perspective on mental health.

Previous Chapter

Next chapter

Library

Chapter 4: Acquaintances 

As far as you can tell, I am clearly not mad. You would even tell me that I was quite sane, and you would be right. Perhaps, too descriptive towards my feelings. Perhaps too biased, and a bit…well…hostile with my narration. I wouldn’t say that you are wrong, nor right about your perspective. I was, and still are in a very dark place in my mind, deep dark, and keeping myself organize makes things easier to remember. 

To be honest, I am not very organized with my feelings. It is easier for me to concentrate into one of the things that I am feeling. It does make it easier for me to tell the tale of what happen, but it partially leaves it monotonous in some aspects. I was feeling a range of different emotions.  

Yes…I was grieving for the death of my father, but I was also furious at the world and the God he believed, that took them away. 

It was a small anger though, a tiny little atom of a complex mixture. A compound, perhaps. It does become hard to tell overtime. 

I don’t often like to let myself divulge into my different thoughts and feelings as I mention the importance of the order, but this particular type of the story makes me divulge into my mind as it did take me a while to open up myself, and I had a lot of conflicted feelings regarding the two people I mentioned previously.

Not romantic feelings. I am not a person who felt any particular attraction at all. I believe I just worked strangely differently when it came towards attraction.

Anyways, this part of the tale started exactly when Dr. Gubberson decided it was time for me to try to socialize more. I admit that I was not particularly thrilled. I was not a person of interacting, but it was necessary to my adaptability upon my stay at the institution. I knew that I had to behave as they expected to me to survive, but I was not comfortable about socializing with those who needed more help than I did.

As much as my father’s murder and my mother’s passing destroyed me. I was a sane woman stuck in a world of those who had it worse than me. I couldn’t bear to feel guilty about being alright to compare to them. It was an injustice I wasn’t thrilled to live with. 

That was the best way I could describe my first day at the recreation center. I was avoidant of any possible eye contact, and I became unease at the groans, and screams of patients being handled by the doctors.  I remember I was feeling I was being watched, and I was actually being watched. Besides by the doctors and guards, making sure I wouldn’t try to escape, but I was being observed by a particular blond woman. A mother, to be precise, that would eventually reach out to me in my second day. 

She was Mrs. Daisy Charlene Danger, age 47. 

Mrs. Danger or Daisy, as she was preferred to be call, took a particular interest on me during my first day.  I am not exactly precise into why I immediately caught her attention, as when I asked Daisy, her response was quite vague. My best guess it was that it was a mother instic she had. Perhaps she was just like my late mother, she was good at ready body language. Perhaps she saw something on my posture or the way my body moved. My mother used could easily tell whenever I was unwell, perhaps it was something she learn from her years as a nurse, or perhaps it was a maternal kick mothers had (as for Daisy was a housewife.)

Either way, I managed to caught her attention for the rest of that first day. She did not approach right then. According to Daisy, she wanted to make a first impression. An early first impression.

“Well hello deary!” That was the first thing I heard when I step into the recreation room. I saw a round woman, certainly older. She had blond hair, and a blue eye. Her left eye was covered in what it looked to be a black rose. A very well painted black rose painted over the eye patch. Her cheeks were rosy, but were covered in dark trips almost as she cried over painted eyes or something. 

I admittedly was startled by her. 

“Mrs. Danger, please, back off.” One of the doctors hissed. Mrs. Danger, or well Daisy, backed up 3 steps. Her eye was sparkling with interest and she was fidgeting with her fingers, which were covered in slightly bloody bandages. 

“Is this a good distance, Dr. Martin?” Her voice was sweet. It was soft and energetic. It was soothing, and quite motherly. 

“There is no way of getting you to step out, is there?” I remember Dr. Martin muttering. It was the first time I saw one of the doctors acting nicely. 

I would come to learn later, that they found it easier to comply with most of the interactions Daisy herself had with the other inmates or doctors. It made her temper calm, and she was pleasant enough for them. I honestly like her both ways…

“Anyways. She’s all yours, Mrs. Danger.” Dr. Martin muttered before releasing me from his grip without a care. I forced himself not to give him a spiteful look there. “Just do be careful, the damozel had a history of aggression or something like that.”

Obviously, you could tell that was a lie…

“Probably some fool getting the black cat wet!” Daisy chuckled at Dr. Martin. He simply rolled his eyes and proceeded to leave the room. Daisy momentary frowned. “Well, that was not nice, was it?”

“It’s what expected in this place…” I found myself muttering. Daisy turned to me with a wide smile while she shook her head. 

“Negativity won’t get you anywhere, dear!” Daisy chuckled. She stared at me momentarily. Her grin never faded. “Yeah, negatively won’t do you good, sweet pea; especially considering you’re just a tiny rosebud.”

I made no comment at this.

“Now, I am well aware the doctors aren’t nice per se, but in just a manner of time you will be calling this place your temporal home.” She beamed. I couldn’t help but sneer. Her positivism sicken me during that time. That was something I would start to regret later in time as I got to know poor Daisy much better. 

Daisy did notice my sneer, but she was rather concerned than bothered by it as she said. “I know it’s hard to adjust to newcomers as yourself, little darling, but I’ll be happy to help you feel more comfortable around this place.”

I became tensed for a moment. I am still surprised that she could tell to this day I was a new to the place when we first met.

“How-” I tried to ask, but Daisy already figure it out what I was trying to say and beat me to the answer.

“It is just easy to tell, dear.” She chuckled. I did not figure out who was new ad who was old. 

She held my hand without a warning. I fought the urge to retrieve it as this was the only decency I received during my stayed. Daisy gently leaded me around. She started to mumble all sort of stuff, that I now regret to fully paying attention. Thankfully, I do recall some important mentions like:

“Don’t worry about hurting my hands. I sometimes get clumsy sewing. Ya know, it took a while for Dr. Gubberson to let me have my sewing kit back!”

And

“I used to own a cat. He was a lovely thing, he’s name was Pluto. He was a young sweet thing, he loved to climb up my husband’s bust of Athena and watch him work. He had a good cat life”

Or

“Oh, I have a daughter, you know? She’s just 10 years. You remind me of her darling.”

I was 26 years of age if you were curious. I did look older due to the circumstances I had to deal with. 

“Oh!” Daisy seemingly stopped in the middle of her mumbling.  I stared at her. Not sure what was going on in her head, but apparently she was trying to remember something. “I need to introduce you to my good friend Nicholas! He was interned here just a year ago, I am sure you would love him!”

And that was how I was introduced to Nicholas Nathaniel Nack, age 24. 

Daisy dragged me across the recreation room. She was moving rather quickly due to her excitement. I was not particularly eager to start off immediately my interaction with my inmates this fast. I was planning into observe and find the best way to interact, but I am thankful that Daisy helped me foil my plans as you would eventually see later in this tragic tale. 

“Nicholas! Nicholas!” Daisy called. A young man with a messy, dirty brown hair turned around. His face was covered with band-aids. He, however, looked rather tired and annoyed at Daisy. 

“Daisy, when would you stop mothering every young person you see?” Nicholas huffed before returning to his plate. I noticed he was painting with his food. It was a portrait of some red mysterious looking man and a clock behind him.

“Don’t be jealous, Nick!” Daisy chuckled. I simply stared, trying to figure out of the situation. Nick simply narrowed his eyes at her. “I just found a new face around here. She appears to be in the need of some good company.”

“So, Dr. Gubberson also decided to sent her to the recreation room…” Nick Nack remarked 

“Nicholas!” Daisy frowned 

“It’s the true, isn’t it?” He asked giving me a glance. His eyes quickly shifted away when we his purplish blue yes met mine. I simply nodded.

“Well, I’ll take this as an opportunity to built upon friendships.” Daisy declared. She gestured one of the seats as she said. “Do take a seat, my dear.”

“Thank you…” I muttered as I took a seat. Daisy sat next to me. I could feel the atmosphere becoming heavier at that moment. 

“Isn’t she a darling?” Daisy chuckled as she accommodate in her seat. Nick imitated himself to just stare.  I lowered my head, wishing the visit was over. Daisy, however, decided to make the most out of what remaining time we have. “Oh, I was too excited to remember to introduce myself.”

“When are you not?” Nick sneered. Daisy ignored his comment.

“Let’s make it interesting. Let’s say our name what was our occupation before we got interned.” Daisy beamed. “I’ll start! My name is Daisy Charlene Danger. I was a wife before being interned into the psychiatric institution two years ago.” She stared at Nick. 

Sighing, Nick introduced himself. “Nicholas Nathaniel Nack. I was a painter before being interned here.”

All eyes were shifted upon me. I had to choose but to introduce myself. “I am Riley Anne Ruckus. I….I was going to become a Nurse.”

There was a brief silence. Nick looked startled while Daisy simply smiled. They recognized my last name…

“Ruckus? Like the doctor that was murdered a few months ago?” Nick asked. I lowered my head. Tears were threatened to leave my eyes.

My dear poor father…who could have done this to you?

“Nicholas!” Daisy scolded the young man.

“Sorry, it was just familiar…” Nick apologized with a sneer. Daisy turned towards me. It was the first time I ever saw her sad. 

“Was he…related to you somehow?” Daisy asked. I nodded.

“Yes…He was my father…” I muttered. My lips trembling as I was holding back the urge of crying. I could see them lifeless corpse once again in front of me…that fateful night…

“Ermm…Sorry…I didn’t mean to refresh your memory.” Nick apologized softly. He was blushing with embarrassment 

“It doesn’t matter anymore…”I said, whipping off the tears that left my eyes. Daisy pursed her lips while Nick looked away embarrassed and ashamed. 

“it Is alright if you wish to cry, my dear.” Daisy said as she patted my shoulder. Her right eye was glimmering. It looked almost if she wanted to cry as well. “No need to push our emotions. If you need an embrace or some sort I am available, or we could-”

“I…I think I need some time alone.” I excused my self as I rose from my sit, bowing my head to hide the growing tears running from my face. Then I walked off without even saying goodbye. 

I cried the rest of the day in my room, muttering my father's name.

[epicspheal]

@a-tale-of-legends post about loss of champion titles is making me reflect a bit on cactusverse and my champion OCs. At some point, all of them will no longer be reigning champions. In general most champions in cactusverse rarely last more than 5 years as champion, with leagues such as Galar, Unova and the Indigo league exhibiting the highest turnover by means of defeat or abdication. But starting from the first person to lose their title Jack. Of course he loses his title to a young Leon and then he goes to jail since he attempted murder a number of times. To be honest he wasn’t as mad about losing the title despite the rather obvious rage he flew into after the loss. See for Jack, the champion title was more of a means to an end to his true goal which was to become king of Galar. He was using the title of champion to gain support for not only a return to the absolute monarchy but for him to become king. So the loss of the title meant his potential claim to the throne was over. Hence why he was so upset and lashed out hard which of course didn’t help. He was already wanted on suspected attempted murder and threat charges and then he proceeded to attack Leon directly. Next up is Cami. So far she’s the only one to just retire but considering she had gotten her butt dragged the first time she did the Unovan gym challenge as a kid (and then got dragged by Blue on a monthly basis when she was his gym trainer until she defeated him) she’s well aware of the pain of defeat. Much like Jack being a champion wasn’t her ultimate goal but having the title certainly helped her out. Being a doctor was her true goal, and being a champion gave her the ability to practice medicine in Victory Road and highly dangerous areas (what are post game areas for us as players) without needing an escort. So honestly while she was sad to leave she wasn’t that sad. That and considering she becomes champion right after Red, Blue and Leaf get dragged to Hisui and then caring for them when they came back with no memories...she was under considerable amounts of stress. So in some ways giving up her title was a blessing as it was in many ways a reminder of a terrible time in her life (I haven’t talked about champion theme music for the cactusverse OCs but let’s just say she has one of the most haunting melodies for hers to show she was kind of losing it during that time). Then there’s Jabari. Jabari is actually one of the champions who lasts over a decade. Which checks out because of my champion OCs he’s the only one that hadn’t found his purpose yet until he went on his journey. Everyone else had strong passions outside of training and he had gone on his journey as a blank slate. So between that and wanting to be guiding light for Kalos after the Team Flare events he really put in a lot of work into being a trainer and he really fought hard to maintain his title. Which worked in his favor which allowed him to stay champion for so long. Eventually though he loses to [redacted] and it’s quite a shock for him. It had been so long since Jabari had lost a match that he had forgotten what the sting of defeat even feels like. But he handles it graciously. Overtime after losing he begins to realize he had begun to put a lot of stake in being the “Hero of Kalos” and that he had needed to step back. The threat of Team Flare had long passed and Kalos had been safe for awhile. Considering Marsha was the first ever champion of Alola, one may assume she’d have a long reign but she doesn’t. Only 3 years but that’s more than okay for her. Honestly, Marsha was more interested in doing the island challenge as a means of reconnecting with her culture since she spent so long in Kanto than becoming champion in the first place (hence why she refused to go on a journey while living in Kanto). She loses to Hau and while she’s a little sad about losing, she couldn’t be happier to have lost to her bestie. Especially knowing how much he had to overcome being in the shadow of Hala and being afraid of going all out in the fear of turning into Hala. She knew he would make a great champion. Plus with the Alola league being new she had been helping Kukui refine the rules for the league. During that she found a passion for directing things and eventually becomes the first chairwoman of the Alolan League Next is Valen who much like Jabari also has a rather long tenure as champion. He’s unique in that he technically went undefeated as a champion while in cactusverse. Considering he is an ultra space explorer he travels to many of the various worlds and his defeat actually happens off-world in an alternate universe by Selene (in a world where none of the cactusverse OCs exist). He’s shocked at first because as an extremely capable battle AI he’s not used to losing. But at the same time he was relieved to know that his programming wasn’t invincible and that there was still more that he could learn as a trainer. Then we have Calla, the little chemist prodigy who managed to beat the Unbeatable Leon. Her reign lasts for five years before being dethroned by Kabu who was the only gym leader who she lost to during her gym challenge. It actually happened at a perfect time for her. Calla had been itching to go back to school to get her PhD in Toxicology but she was torn about stretching herself thin being both champion and a graduate student. After all she did truly enjoy being champion, putting on a show for the audience with her gymnastics, and being able to give more positive reputation to poison types (after admittedly a rough start with getting the public to trust Eternatus). But also as someone whose first passion was science she had been missing the time she used to spend in the lab. And as she went to visit Sonia and Hop she had begun to get a bit envious of them and all of their research. So when she lost to Kabu for the second time, yeah she was upset but also it provided closure in a sense. Much like Jabari did in Kalos, she kind of gotten lost in her identity in being one of the heroes of Galar that came along with the title of champion. But also that she could move and pursue being a professor which she actually enjoys even more than being a champion.

[the25thviolence]

Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Sadly this is not about the title exactly.  But how my love and hatred passed back and forth during a very sad year.  I think I feel comfortable enough to write about this now.  If not, well I have time off from work for the holidays to cry about it later.  

I should probably write this properly in order so its more readable. 

But fuck that noise. 

When you lose people.  In ways that aren’t final.  That aren’t cut and dry.  This sense of knowing life could be different creates this little ball of longing deep inside your chest.  And each passing day it grows slightly larger.  Till you feel like your chest is going to explode.  It hurts and hurts and hurts till you can’t take it anymore but for some reason it continues to hurt.  

I was told to wait.  That things would change.  And we could return to the past and be happy again.  

I waited. 

I painfully waited. 

I felt like a dog a family didn’t want anymore because it kept ripping up the furniture so they took it out to a field somewhere and told it that they’ll be right back.  

This metaphorical family drove off and never came back.  

I guess from a different perspective.

I was taken to a farm to play and be happy with other dogs that act up.  A friend farm for friends you can’t handle anymore.  

It hurt to think that after all that I still missed these people.  It made me mad at myself that I still had these soft tender feelings for people who abandoned me. 

I would miss them. 

Than in a fit of rage hate them. 

Back and forth.

Jekyll and Hyde. 

Two phrases have and will always stick with me.

One is. 

“Don’t talk to my friends anymore.”

and the other is.

“I’ll fix this and we can be friends again like we used to be.” (slight adlib sorry)

Why even pretend.  

Why even lie about it.  

In all this tangled up bit of emotions I still cared, and loved, and missed them.  These people causing all this pain inside my chest. 

How do you hate people that you loved so dearly? 

Well you go back and forth between the emotions trying to cope with the situation. 

And when you tip over the deep end of love. 

You fall against the rocks of realization.  

Overtime you start to catch yourself before you walk off the cliff deep in thought.  

I still think this was for the better.  But I only think that because I loved you.  

Even though I deleted all my social media accounts, renamed my online self, and made new accounts.  You still followed me.  

One in hope.

One in fear. 

The fear won out here.  

I had to break the future where this turns out differently.  I had to cut myself away from the theory of you.  

Abruptly.

And with a knife. 

Its saddens me still how you watched from afar trying to catch signs of me being ok.  Being alive.  Being happy.  Maybe convinced you were hoping my life got better.  But you were also watching to make sure my life didn’t come back towards yours.  

So I wrote a note.  And I stuck it to the account you stalked down.  Yes, you stalked it down.  When you tell someone to stay away from you and your friends and not speak to either of you anymore.  Its not checking up on an old friend.  Its quite literally stalking. 

I wrote a note. 

I filled it with all the words I knew would make you angry. 

Both of you. 

And in that fiery bit of anger that future that shouldn’t be would finally be cut away from all of us.  

And finally happiness would begin to grow.  

Happiness for you cannot grow with me in it. It just can’t.  

I guess this is how I conquered my Jekyll and my Hyde.   I pushed all my hatred back at you because I loved and cared about you.  I stabbed at myself and bled away in a fit of happiness.  

I carry this little weight in my soul now.  Like a cool rock I keep in my pocket that I rub from time to time for good luck.  

Wrong or right.  I believe I did all I could in the failure of it all.  

I somehow escaped with just enough of myself to stay alive. 

And if you can’t grow into a 100ft tall monster of love and happiness.  

Well, fuck.  Not my problem.  

Bonus Rant:

I tried to like this deep dark blue color with specks of gray and silver.  But honestly, I think teal is my favorite color still.  The Gospel According To Larry is no longer my favorite book and I’m never reading it again for the rest of my life.  I’ve read so many books this last year and I’m not really sure which one is my favorite.  I really did get the Violence tattoo on my wrist, I don’t regret it at all.  People ask me why in shock because I don’t seem like that kind of person (lol).   I tell them its a long story.  They prod.  I tell them its about friends I lost, they didn’t die, its just an awkward story to explain.  I’ve forcefully changed my music taste quite a bit.  I find it kind of funny that its become a little similar to his.  The music I could share now.  

I wake up every day wanting to die.  My greatest fantasy is still moving away from everyone I know and being by myself.  But I no longer think about any of you.  Though I occasionally play with a knife in my hand.  If the swamp monster wants to come out and play one day, I shall happily teach it the perils of man.  

I won’t forget you guys (Wishful/Threat).