#it says this for multiple of my prescriptions too.

[angelnumber27]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDIMG ME

I’ve already been off of shit suffering for weeks and now this.. why do things always happen hahahah.

Like even if I could pay for it nope sorry were out 🤷🏻‍♀️ bitch this isn’t a condiment how are you just “out” 😭😭😭😫😫😫🫠🫠🫠

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it’s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[lowkeyrobin]

hello:))

been loving ur mcyt preferences, and was wondering if you would do one where reader has insomnia???

I take medication for it and i got took off it for a break UGHH. anyways luv ur writing and take ur time plz:))

ooooo okay!! ; and thank you thank you, I appreciate it 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; insomniac/night owl

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, sleep paralysis, jokes about OD'ing (melatonin)

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

genuinley feels so bad bc the second he closes his eyes, he's passed the hell out

he'll try and stay awake with you though and wait for the melatonin or just sleep in general to kick in

"if you're too tired to work, then don't. go back to sleep, don't worry about it"

compares you to tubbo 24/7

will bring you cherries and some milk because natural melatonin ❗️❗️

sometimes he'll try and stay awake with you and turn a movie on and he'll just pass out on your shoulder

you'll walk into his stream after sleeping until like 5 in the evening and quietly wave with a groggy look on your face

he laughs (in a very lighthearted way dw)

"y/nnnnn I know you're tired but we gotta go before we miss it"

"I'm coming, I'm coming"

you're basically just a night owl, like his personal guard dog lmao

he'll joke about it a bit too, how you're protecting him in the dark from the monsters 😭

RANBOO

he can and will stay up all night with you

mostly plays video games with you in hopes you'll get tired that way

which works a bit

does insane amounts of research, gets you eating all sorts of natural melatonin before bed and even gets you like children's melatonin gummies 💀💀

"do you have a sleep paralysis demon? are you just scared to sleep?"

"I just cannot sleep, I just toss and turn all night, I swear to god"

one of those people to do endless amounts of research to try and help

"do you wanna go to the doctor and get a prescription or something? maybe it'll help"

tweeting/posting about dumb shit you do at night

"y/n made a whole loaf of bread overnight someone send help"

"tell me why I woke up this morning to my partner staring into my soul holy shit"

FREDDIE BADLINU

also feels rlly bad that he can't help you

also brings you cherries, bananas and milk for natural melatonin in hopes it'll help a bit

will genuinley take you to a doctor to get you a prescription or something

also tweets about the shit you do while he's asleep overnight

"guys y/n picked up crocheting overnight wth"

"love when my partner wakes me up at 5am for breakfast because it was going cold 🥰 (they started cooking at 3:30am)

he can't stay up too late most days, he's a busy man

he feels so bad if you're sleeping through the whole day, he barely ever wakes you up bc he knows you're tired

"love, go back to sleep, you were up all night, I'll call you in sick, don't worry about it"

he strays away from od jokes when you're taking melatonin gummies/pills but sometimes he just has to say it

if you have a sleep paralysis demon as well, yk damn well he'll find his way into your dreams and beat the bitch up

if you can't sleep but he can, he'll just hold you and hope that you'll sleep soon

you'll usually sit there and play with his hair and admire him til you gotta get up and do something

NIKI NIHACHU

like ranboo, she puts in endless research of just trying to find things that might help you

she feels so bad

especially when you're sleeping all through the day and feel groggy as hell 24/7

if you have a paralysis demon she always reassures you that she'll beat it up for you next time it comes around

anything to make you smile bro

she's so sweet about it, if you're sleeping she makes sure to keep it quiet because this is one of the rare chances when you're sleeping

if you go multiple days without sleep and start tweaking out, she'll comfort you to sleep, doesn't matter how long it'll take

"It's okay, honey. it's okay, just focus on the rain sounds outside"

dedicated a whole kinda calm music playlist to help you sleep/relax yourself

finds it so funny when you do shit during the night to try and entertain yourself and it's the most random shit

like you'll go out and feed stray cats, accidently steal a shopping cart, fight the air and record it, etc

sleepy on stream hugs >>>

"well good morning, sunshine. its seven pm"

ALEX QUACKITY

"bro how do you not sleep"

if you got a sleep paralysis demon.... oh it's over for that mf

tweets about the dumb exhausted shit you do

"how do I turn y/n off at bedtime? I'm tired of waking up to see them staring into my soul"

"I love waking up to breakfast (I've been woken up at 4am for the past 2 weeks help me rn)"

thinks it's funny and sad at the same time when you start tweaking after not sleeping

"bro, go to sleep, cmon, it's okay, you're fine" as he's trying not to laugh at you

literally stuffs you with melatonin around 7:30 to see if it'll help LMAO

even talks on stream about how he's gonna fight the demons and pretends whoever he's fighting w is one LMAO

loves when you walk into stream all groggy and tired because he can finally spend a little time w you

[sweatermuppet]

What is it like being trans in New Hampshire? I'm trans in Maine and generally consider NH the black sheep of New England when it comes to queer politics. Some of my trans friends consider it a no-stop zone on our roadtrips.

uh it's pretty fine for me. i get kinda sad when people say NH isnt trans friendly (a sentiment ive seen a lot lately). i had an openly transitioning teacher in high school. i had many gay teachers in high school. i was one of the first kids to transition openly at my school & there were a lot of struggles but it was also 6+ years ago & mostly teachers were under-educated & didn't know how to protect me. i got in a fight & suspended over a kid who was transphobic toward me, but i was allowed to use the boy's bathroom & locker room & all of my core teachers were pretty good about using my name & pronouns

i have multiple trans friends, just locally, & know other trans people a little further out in NH from following them on IG. some pretty decent art scenes in various towns & those are LGBT-dense. one of my trans friends started estrogen yesterday (prescription thru informed consent). i will say in my experience, NH healthcare is lacking for transsexuals—it's been easier for me to go thru Massachusetts or NH planned parenthoods, but ive been able to receive treatment fairly easily (cost being one of the only major negative factors)

as for people, a lot of folks kind of don't care? there are of course republicans & conservatives & a disheartening amount of libertarians, but in my day to day, it's mostly "live free or die" & if you're not hurting anyone, it's not too big of a deal. some of the republicans in my life (like friends' dads) have the attitude of "well i don't get it" but they still call me silas & are generally alright with me, aren't hostile towards me

i see trans flags pretty often. i saw a bumper sticker last month that was the shape of NH completely colored in with the trans flag. there are a bunch of coffee shops & bookstores & artsy places nearby i can think of that employ trans people, house trans art, etc

recently, anti-trans & anti-LGBT bills have been introduced & passed in NH. two passed last month, which can be read about here. i saw some pretty disgusting sentiments shared about those bills on twitter when they were introduced. those make it harder to exist here, but it's not impossible & it does not immediately make all residents hostile toward transsexuals. i don't want people to abandon NH because they think it's too far gone or too hopeless. trans people will always exist in every state & every country & every corner, no matter how hostile those places become

people here love me, regardless of how political parties view me. people here fight for me. there are trans people & Black people & disabled people here who are more vulnerable than me who i want to stay & fight for & protect. if you'd like to learn more about diversity in NH & how to protect various human rights, here are some orgs i am familiar with:

NH PANTHERS (anti-racism advocacy & education)

Queer-Lective (art, education, & connection)

Black Lives Matter NH

GLSEN NH (LGBT resources & education for schools/teachers/students)

Reproductive Freedom Fund of NH (abortion fund, sex ed, LGBT advocacy)

603 Equality (LGBT advocacy & education)

Lovering Health Center (reproductive care, LGBT education, gender affirming care for NH, MA, & ME)

Black Heritage Trail of NH (Black history)

ACLUNH (civil liberties + human rights)

[nekrosdolly]

albert whiskers (fluff)

after umbrella disposes of him, albert finds himself in a shelter for abandoned hybrids. lucky for him, he's exactly what you're looking for + extra lil bit at the end!

a/n; another option on the 100 followers special poll- i just rlly wanted to write all of these i'm sorry guys... also i do not have energy to write sex now that i'm working more sorry!!! no sex in this one

tags; @whiskers-my-beloved

the fan whirs overhead, another noise that fades into the background with pathetic barks, meows, and clucking from the other hybrids in the shelter. being older, more people passed by his kennel in favor of other, younger hybrids. he's been here for at least a few years, and the pattern is always the same. new people flood in, walk right past him, and leave with a younger, sweeter hybrid that has more energy and can give them more love.

you're just looking for a pet. someone to love and adore, but not tire you out with endless wishes to play. you've always had older animals growing up, so why would a hybrid be any different?

walking through the path between multiple cages, many younger hybrids try to garner your attention, but none of them really piques your interest. as you reach the back end, you notice that there's not as many hybrids back here, and if there are, they're older and somewhat sad. you assume they've been here for a while, which rings true based on the acceptance dates on the information plagues hanging off their cage doors. most of them don't look at you, though the occasional one raises their head in curiosity and mild hope. it really just breaks your heart.

at the last cage, you stop to read the plaque as you've done with the other older hybrids in the more dim half of the room.

"albert whiskers..? how cute," you murmur, smiling softly. you peer inside the cage to find said albert whiskers and find him sitting in the corner of his cage. he looks up at you through (what you assume to be) prescription sunglasses, his tail flicking curiously. he's handsome, his platinum blonde ears twitching as he sniffs you out from afar. his tail matches his messily slickbacked hair, his pupils widening. he wasn't expecting to see someone both young ang cute in front of his cage, not since he was thrown here. of course, he doesn't get his hopes up quite yet, but his tail and ears betray him.

"well hello there," you say, placing a hand on the cage door, "i take it you're mr. whiskers?"

he stares at you for a few moments more, wondering whether or not he should engage you. it's your subtle head tilt at the end of your question that gets him to do it.

"…yes, that would be me." he says coolly, trying to appear a bit more cold. it doesn't work all that well, and you find his voice to be nice.

"you've been here quite a while, huh?" you sit down in front of his cage, placing your hands on your knees.

"i have," he resists the urge to scoot closer, "a few years."

oh, how your heart bleeds for him.

"well, can i take you home?"

"are you not looking for a more… youthful companion?" his ear twitches with interest.

you shake your head softly.

"no, i wouldn't be able to care for a younger hybrid. i work too much for that. i was hoping to find someone older."

he's silent as he figures out your true motives, if you're really trying to get his hopes up only to leave the moment he agrees.

"if it helps," you add, "i live alone. it's just me and myself, no other animals or people, i'm pretty quiet, i won't force you to cuddle, and i'm just tired of being alone in my home."

albert nods softly, rubbing his wrist as he considers what you've said. your words are tempting, and truthfully, it sounds as though you could provide him with what he needs- stability. not to mention how cute you are. your eyes are so sweet and part of him aches to just lie down in front of you and let you pet him all over.

"… alright. i suppose that will do just fine."

and like that, you take him home. he adjusts after a few weeks of overly cautious behavior. the two of you fall into a routine- you work while he busies himself doing menial tasks around the house, and when you come home, he's there to listen. he's replaced the role of a boyfriend for you, honestly.

so when you come home from work tired, and as usual, albert greets you at the door. he moves to hug you, but you brush him off.

"hi, alby." you mutter, walking right past him in favor of your bed. he follows you with hesitance.

"dear," he says, watching you crawl into bed without so much as changing out of your work clothes.

"hm?" you don't look up from the comfort of your sheets.

he walks over to the bed and climbs in bed beside you, his ears flat against his head.

"are you upset with me?" he asks quietly, unable to help the slight desperation in his voice. he'd been missing you all day and really, all he wanted was to cuddle with you even if he won't say it outright. instead, he reaches out and places a clawed hand on your shoulder, trying his hardest to avoid kneading you should you end up kicking him out.

"no, honey. i'm just tired, alright?" you say, gently brushing his hand away. clearly, something's wrong, but he doesn't press. he just lies beside you, his tail curled anxiously on the bed.

you can feel the anxiety he exudes rolling off of him in cold waves, and despite you being tired, you roll over to face him.

"just come here…" you sigh and push the sheets off of you, patting your chest. reluctant and still somewhat hurt by your initial dismissive rejection, he scoots close and presses his face into your chest. once your hand tangles in his hair, he's purring and nuzzling closer. the softness of his hair and the fur on his ears isn't lost on you. he's so happy to be with you after a full day of being alone. he's not used to such solitude without you around. even before, when he was working at umbrella, he wasn't alone.

though he feels silly about snuggling up to you like some needy pet, he can't help it. he's become somewhat dependent on you since his arrival, though he wouldn't admit that to anyone, not even you.

the calm silence is familiar and soothing, nothing but the sound of your breathing filling the air. his tail flicks happily, his ears perked up as well.

evenings like these weren't unusual. after a few moments more of lying in bed, you finally sit up and press a kiss to his forehead.

"i missed you, kitty. sorry for being mean." you mutter, stroking his hair still as you look into his hazel eyes. his heart flutters, slitted pupils turning round within seconds.

"it's alright, dear. i only missed you is all," he takes your hand and kisses the back of it, keeping his eyes locked on yours, "it's too quiet without you somedays."

the blush that dusts your cheeks is unmistakable. his free hand creeps up your arm to cup your head and pull you in for a soft kiss, one he'd been looking forward to all day. you reciprocate it with love, his gentleness only something you can coax out of him. his lips are soft and honey-sweet, his whiskers tickling your face. you pull away giggling at the feeling.

"let's get you out of those clothes, hm?" he mutters, rolling the both of you over so he's on top. you blush more and nod softly, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"it's time for me to take care of my owner. you've been so good to me." he starts kissing down your jaw, his whiskers brushing against your skin.

-

extra!

it's the weekend and you've been out for too long, something albert's grown suspicious of. you're never out this long without explanation or good reason. he waits on the couch, tail swishing with irritation. his ears twitch when he hears footsteps approach the front door, yours accompanied by a pair he's unfamiliar with.

you open the door soon enough and he doesn't bother to greet you, pissed off at you for taking so long. not to mention, that nasty smell you've brought in, it almost smells like-

"albert, i got you a friend! come here, honey!" you call, holding chris's leash loosely. you shut the door with your hip.

his ears perk up and he quickly gets out of his seat, turning around to see chris redfield standing by your side, glaring at him.

"chris!"

[buttfrovski]

Any PC Creek headcanons you have?

tweek doesn't drink coffee anymore.

they have a nice wine collection going.

they have a medicine cabinet that overflows with tweek's prescriptions and advil. craig's had like.. two prescriptions total and they were for a surgery he had on his shoulder like 10 years ago.

i haven't really decided on headcanons for jobs. whether they both have jobs or one stays at home.. idk. i like to think craig has a cool stem job like aerospace engineering and he's kinda a big shot.

however, tweek is the one that cooks. to this day it leaves a big mess every time, but at least the food turns out good. he bakes a lot too.

for his birthday- craig got tweek a nice grand piano to replace the keyboard he had before.

craig tried using that ONE hair dye for old guys to hide his grey hairs and tweek chewed him out for it cuz he likes the grey hairs.

they watch TV shows and movies all the time. almost every night. reality tv crap, some hoity toity critically acclaimed typa movie, a disney movie, popular shows, etc. they've seen it. however, they can't watch any of gordon ramsey's shows because he makes tweek nervous.

both of them are good with mechanics around the house and such... it's just that craig tries to get to it first b4 tweek notices cuz tweek has electrocuted himself multiple times before.

craig is rlly good at wordle, connections, crosswords, puzzles, all that stuff and tweek hates him for it. (but still asks for his help)

they didn't speak to eachother for three days after trying to put up an ikea set together.

i drew this one time- but craig puts the peanut butter on the highest cabinet all the way in the back so tweek can't reach it. tweek knows he does it and just hops up to grab it- but craig denies it.

they do still have guinea pigs. many. they always have at least one named stripe.

craig is the one who drives. that's all i gotta say.

craig's a chronic blanket stealer and snores. tweek murmurs in his sleep and has never woken up gracefully in his life.

i'm gonna stop myself here. i prolly have 100 more because domestic fluff is my specialty.

[scribblewrites]

Bakugou with a Chronically Ill Partner Headcanons

Katsuki Bakugou x Gn!reader

This is fully self indulgent, chronic illness/autoimmune diseases are kicking my ass 😔

I tried to keep it vague so multiple conditions can be applied, but I only have experience with my type of chronic illness. Pls lemme know if it can be improved to include more

hope y’all enjoy! ♥

— He goes with you to doctor’s appointments and lab testing. Especially if you struggle with a fear of doctors. He will make sure the doctors listen to you and don’t dismiss your symptoms.

— If you deal with appetite issues, nausea, etc., he keeps a list of bland safe foods. During flare ups he loves to cook for you and will make sure you don’t go to long between meals. Food is his love language and he will make sure you’re eating right.

— He bought you a heatable stuffed animal for your chronic pain. He will heat up your stuffed animal for you, though he will often use his quirk as a heating pad as well. 

— When you told him about your chronic illness/autoimmune disease he immediately went and researched it. Of course he’d never admit it but this man did his homework. He spent hours on medical websites, forums, and blogs finding the best ways to support you. 

— Back to the food thing, he keeps track of all of your trigger foods. Since finding out any of your allergies he likes to come up with new recipes around them. He sees it as a challenge if you say foods without your trigger taste gross.

— If your still struggling to get diagnosed and feel like maybe your just crazy me currently, he’s there constantly reassuring you. If any one makes you feel like you’re complaining too much or that your issues are all in your head he is on their ass. He does not put up with people making you feel like shit.

— He keeps track of your prescriptions and when you need refills. You forgot to pick up your medication and now you’re out? He already picked it up on his way home from patrol. He’s even got reminders set on his phone for when you need to take your meds. When they go off he’s by your side with water and food if they can’t be taken on an empty stomach. 

— If you take injections he will help administer it. He will calm you down and distract you if you’re afraid of needles, or administer it for you if you’re unable. 

Shout out to my other chronically ill babes! hope y'all enjoyed these silly hc’s

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA For Pushing My Boyfriend To Quit Smoking?

My (25F) boyfriend (23M) smokes and vapes tobacco/nicotine and weed everyday. He's tried to quit it all multiple times, both before and during our relationship, with no lasting success.

He knows just cutting himself off cold turkey would be a bad idea, so normally he tries to incrementally decrease the amounts he smokes/vapes in the hopes of eventually not doing it at all, but after a week or two he always goes back to the way he was before.

We talked about why he was having trouble with quitting, and he said that the withdrawals A) make him extremely irritable, and he knows that that makes him sorta unpleasant, and doesn't want other people to have to deal with his bad moods, B) worsen his IBS, which makes it nearly impossible for him to eat, and C) he liked to social aspect. Until recently, all of our friends, smoked almost, if not just as much as him (but now most of them have either cut back immensely, or quit all together). At every hang out they spent a lot of time smoking together (I've never particularly enjoyed it as much they did, but did join in occasionally), and it's still ine of the ways he makes new friends.

Despite all that, a few months ago he told me that he wanted to get really serious about it, so he went to the doctor and got some prescription patches.

He wore the patches for about 3 days (the prescription was for 15 days), said they weren't working, and gave up. Since then he started mentioning wanting to quit less and less, until now he doesn't talk about it at all.

On the one hand I'm a big believer in "adults should be allowed to do whatever as long as no one else gets hurt", and I don't want to come across as controlling. On the other, I'm extremely worried about him. He's coughing constantly, he can't seem to have fun doing anything unless he has nicotine or weed with him, he'll stop in the middle of whatever we're doing to rummage through his pockets or his bag to look for his vape or his pen or his cigarettes or weed or a cigar, etc. And when I say he'll stop in the middle of anything, I mean anything.

On top of all that, my dad had substance abuse issues in the past, and it was a major problem. He was a heavy smoker and a heavy drinker, and he almost died. So substance abuse and chemical dependency is a big deal to me. I have told my boyfriend about that, and he did make some changes for my sake (he used to be more of a drinker too, but has since successfully cut back on alcohol quite a bit), but I think maybe he doesn't realize just how big a deal it is to me.

I lie awake at night worried that he's gonna get lung cancer.

He said that he wants to quit, and I want to help, but I don't know how to do that without just nagging him about it, and I don't think he'd respond to that well.

WIBTA for getting more pushy and vocal about how much I want him to quit, or should I leave it and let him figure it out on his own?

What are these acronyms?

[aibidil]

we gotta stop telling moms* to learn to ask for and accept help

this is a pseudo-mental-health bullshit way of subtly individualizing a multilayered structural and societal (often classist) problem wherein people in general, parents especially, mothers specifically, and neurodivergent mothers to the extreme, are left to fend for ourselves in ways that are frankly unprecedented in the history of human beings

I'm sure there are people who struggle to ask for help. (I've never been one of them.) What I'm saying is, even if they could learn to, it wouldn't solve anything!

Let's look at the assumptions behind "you need to learn to ask for help!"

That there's someone to ask. Who tf are we meant to be asking? If you live in a culture where families have scattered, you might not have any family nearby. Maybe you're lucky enough to have a partner, but if so, I feel like we can already assume you're asking for help from them, and them from you. (If you're not, that's a whole separate issue.) But often the overwhelm isn't such that an equitable division of labor between two parents can solve the problem. I have one non-partner family member nearby whom I can ask for help, and that actually feels pretty lucky.

That people you ask will agree to help. I recently messaged the entire school community list begging someone to drive one of my kids home on Wednesdays, figuring that many people must be going in that direction anyway and surely someone would be willing to stop the car and let my kid out at the end of my street. When I didn't get any responses from the wider community, I sent a smaller plea to the parents in my kids' classes. Nothing! Nada!

That our problems are such that others can (easily) help. There's a tragic het script that's like "I don't bother to ask him for help because I end up doing more work to get him to help than it would've been to do myself" (and yes that's fucked), but that's not even what I'm pointing to here. There are so many ways that the structures of our society make it so that people can't get help from others. School pickup, for example: most schools have policies that only parent/guardians or someone given prior permission can pick up students. If a parent is unexpectedly in a jam, this makes finding help a lot trickier and probably involves calling the school and trying to grant last-minute permission. Helping a kid with homework, for example: No matter what I do, teachers email/call me. This means that if I assign this task to my partner or some other person, I have to constantly be an in-between who is like, the arbiter of information. Going to the pharmacy: once I went to the pharmacy to help a neighbor with a kid who had been vomiting for 12 hours straight, and it was so difficult. First I had to pick up their insurance card, write down the kid's name, dob, etc. I still didn't know half the answers to things they asked me as I painstakingly eventually managed to pick up this kid's prescription.

That you have money to pay for outsourcing. Often, when it comes down to it, the only way our society seamlessly allows for help is through monetizing the tasks. It's possible to hire housecleaners or a nanny, for example. You can pay for grocery delivery. But (even if you're totally fine with becoming an employer, which I've never been) is that financially within reach for most people? No!!!

That the tasks that are hardest for you are tasks that can be outsourced. With adhd, my biggest chore struggles are getting myself to water the plants and getting myself to fill the pill organizers. These are not the easiest chores to get help with! I mean, even laundry would be easier, as you could chuck it all into a giant bag and hand it over to a service to be washed. But plants? They're all over my house and on different watering schedules. The pill organizers? That's controlled substances (Adderall, baby) and it's confusing with multiple times of day, etc -- who is going to take that on? Even my partner is too worried to get it wrong.

That, even if you have money, the service you need exists. I really want help with food preparation, but I have MCAS and specific dietary needs. Also, I don't want help with dinners (my partner does that) so much as I want help with snacks/lunch. I know what I would make if I had the energy to. There are no services in my area that could help me. I guess I could hire a personal chef, but I can't even begin to afford that and even then, many wouldn't work bc they're not all willing to work with different dietary needs. I tried finding something I could order by mail, but there's nothing that's a great fit and it's all too expensive for me.

The problem is not that moms don't know how to ask for and accept help. Every time we say that, we reinforce the idea that the problem is an individual one, that the fault lies with moms. It's a structural one, and it doesn't. Many of us are well aware of how to ask for help. If we aren't asking, it's because we know it's futile.

*The choice to gender this as "moms" is a conscious one, even though it also applies to some men and nb people. In my view, it really is a gendered problem that overwhelmingly affects women who are mothers. Because of that, generalizing to "people" or "parents" seems to me like it would be watering down the problem, at best, or erasing the gendered component of the problem, at worst. We also shouldn't say "you need to learn to ask for help" to dads, nonbinary parents, and non-parents—but we generally don't say that to those groups anyway! The vast majority of the time, I see this being said specifically to mothers. Moreover, the response that dads get to asking for help is often different. A dad asking for help strikes people as going above and beyond and is therefore more likely to trigger people to actually help him. Think about dads whose wife goes out of town and all these people bring him casseroles. Our society is often really good at giving some help—but only in extreme cases (emergencies like acute sickness or hospital stays, grief, ….a dad alone with kids for some reason, etc), and moms asking for help with mundane things simply does not count as a justification for help in most people's minds.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Lisa Jarvis

We’re still asking people with COVID to jump through far too many hoops to get their hands on Pfizer Inc.’s Paxlovid.

I experienced the barriers first-hand this month after my mother texted to say that this summer’s COVID wave had finally caught up with her. My first thought was to make sure she quickly started taking the antiviral. You’d think she would be an ideal candidate, because she is in her 70s with an underlying health condition. But it took a daylong effort to get her the medicine, one that involved multiple emails, phone calls with three different doctor’s offices, a telehealth visit and a bit of pharmacy-hopping to find one that had the pills in stock.

“That’s not an uncommon story,” says Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. “There are a lot of misconceptions out there that have undermined the use [of antivirals] from the very beginning.”

The data bear this out. One small study published in early 2024 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 4 out of 5 high-risk patients were not offered an antiviral by their doctors. Worse, one large, community-based study found that Black and Latino patients were far less likely to receive the drug than White patients.

It shouldn’t be that way. And the delay matters: Pfizer’s antiviral only helps if taken within the first five days of symptoms. My mom, feverish and exhausted, told me that if I hadn’t stepped in as her advocate, she would have given up.

Doctors must do better, especially as we continue to live through a wave of infections.

Some health care providers may be worried about managing the interactions between Paxlovid and other medicines (my mom, for example, had to pause her Lipitor while on the antiviral). Others have been dissuaded by reports of rebound infections occurring in people who take Paxlovid — despite evidence that the drug’s benefits outweigh those risks in the most vulnerable patients. And some doctors might be operating under perverse incentives that make it more lucrative to have a sick patient make an appointment to confirm their infection instead of simply calling the prescription into a pharmacy after an at-home test.

There’s also lingering confusion about the right candidates for the drug. Paxlovid was authorized in 2021 based on compelling data showing it could keep high-risk unvaccinated people out of the hospital. Yet some doctors don’t seem aware that vaccinated patients can also benefit from it, particularly if they are higher risk. That’s everyone over age 65, or those who are immunocompromised, pregnant or with an underlying condition. Those groups still are at risk of hospitalization and even of dying, especially if their last exposure or booster is in the distant past.

And that’s a lot of people. Only 1 out of every 3 retirement-age adults got last year’s booster. “From my experience as well as others, pretty much everybody I’ve taken care of hasn’t received a vaccine in the last year or so, even though they might have had them originally,” says Peter Chin-Hong, an infectious disease specialist at the University of California, San Francisco. Since mid-August, COVID deaths in the U.S. have been hovering near 1,000 per week, according to CDC data. Shouldn’t we better deploy the tools that might prevent such losses?

Cost shouldn’t be a barrier. When antivirals transitioned to the commercial market last year, the U.S. government partnered with Pfizer to ensure people with public health insurance or without insurance could still get the drugs for free, and minimize the cost for people with private insurance. Yet infectious disease doctors tell me that months into the rollout, too few patients, prescribers and pharmacists seem aware of the program.

True, Paxlovid isn’t perfect. In people who aren’t high-risk, the data are mixed as to whether it helps much (though anecdotes abound for people who say they have felt better faster after taking it). And while there had been much hope that Paxlovid could prevent long COVID, so far the data supporting that hypothesis are inconclusive.

So there’s a clear need for better anti-COVID drugs. Even for young, healthy people who have been jabbed and infected multiple times, an infection can be extremely disruptive, sidelining us from work or school and ruining our best-laid plans. A drug more akin to Tamiflu — a very safe and tolerable treatment for the flu that allows people to bounce back faster, even if only by a day or two — would be a welcome invention.

Yet better antivirals have been slow to arrive. Pfizer is studying a treatment that works similarly to Paxlovid, but doesn’t interact with other medications. And hopes were dashed last spring when Shionogi’s Ensitrelvir, an antiviral approved in Japan, failed to prove it could alleviate symptoms faster than a placebo.

But even if a drug for the masses eventually made it to market, would it be used? When doctors can’t get it right for the most vulnerable, the prospects seem dim.

[zombieheroine]

Initial D character headcanons (1/?)

Screw canon, I'll add my own. Here are some headcanons I came up with, take it, leave it, add your own, whatever we keep drifting.

Fujiwara Takumi

Music of choice: Eurodance, to stay awake. Works better than any caffeinated drink ever could. In his glove compartment: Take-out fliers, loose coins to spend on vending machines. Parallel parking skill: Has never parallel parked, but would succeed on first try. Could drift into the spot but doesn't want to look like a show-off. Driving pet peeve: Slow drivers who don't give way. Ticket score: Zero. He doesn't want to find out what Bunta would say.

Itsuki Takeuchi

Music of choice: Whatever is on the radio In his glove compartment: His driving license and the manual of the car, list of his work shifts, a car magazine, a pair of fluffy dice he hasn't dared to hang yet. Parallel parking skill: He's super nervous and sweats it every time, but does okay, even though he needs multiple tries. Driving pet peeve: Tailgaters. Ticket score: Since the first accident, he's a very responsible driver and doesn't have any additional tickets, but the points on his license remain.

Iketani Koichiro

Music of choice: Classic Japanese rock/pop ballads for strong independent manly men who need no woman In his glove compartment: A water bottle, a spare bowtie for work, forgotten old tests from high school, personal hygiene kit with mouthwash and a disposable razor, but he's forgotten to buy shaving cream. Parallel parking skill: He's proficient, but if someone's watching he gets too self-concious to even try. Driving pet peeve: Ending up on the slow lane and watching cars pass him on his left. Ticket score: He caught a few speeding tickets in his first year with a license due to being over eager and careless in urban areas, but wisened up before maxing out the points.

Kenji

Dayjob: A baker, which leaves him with lots of free time to bother his friends at their work place. Music of choice: Rock'n'roll from all over the world, to both knead bread dough and drive fast to. He burns his own mix CDs. In his glove compartment: CDs, several tubes of prescription hand cream, manga magazines, marker pens, post-it-notes and old shopping lists, crumbled up receipts. Parallel parking skill: None. This man has so far never been forced to even try, and so he won't learn. There's always a free spot somewhere in a small town, especially very late and very early. He would never want to drive in a metropolitan area. Driving pet peeve: Drivers who rev their engines and screech their tires to show off. Ticket score: A few parking tickets because he tends to forget himself in chatting with friends.

Takahashi Keisuke:

Dayjob: This rich problem youth has not worked a day in his life. His parents may have given up on him, but his allowance was never wholly cut to keep him from getting into even more serious trouble. Music of choice: Synth pop, like all the cool scene kids in the 90s. In his glove compartment: Snack bar wrappers, a cell phone charger, cigaretters and several half empty lighters, emergency condoms and a totally unrelated tube of body lotion (water-based). Parallel parking skill: He could, but would never expose his precious car to the other parked cars and their drivers like that. If there's no spacious parking spot, he won't leave his car for anything or anyone. Driving pet peeve: Prone to road rage just in general. Ticket score: Zero, but the local police knows him by name.

Takahashi Ryosuke

Day job: Full-time med student, favorite child. Music of choice: Heavy metal, it's excellent stress relief In this glove compartment: Vehicle license, the manual of his car, a logbook, maps, first aid kit. Parallel parking skill: Perfect, what did you expect? Driving pet peeve: People who get road rage. Ticket score: Surprisingly high. He's been caught speeding multiple times when looking for his brother during his gang days, and caught the occasional parking ticket due to forgetfullness.

Nakamura Kenta

Dayjob: An employee at a 7/11 Music of choice: Same as Keisuke's In his glove compartment: Wrappers from various snacks, empty noodle cups and an uneven number of disposable chopsticks, crumbled up energy drink cans. Parallel parking skill: Could do it, as long as he concentrates instead of trying to act too cool Driving pet peeve: Drivers who hit puddles on purpose, either spraying the pedestrians or risking hydroplaning needlessly Ticket score: He's got his license suspended once for three months. Since joining the RedSuns he's cleaned up his act in general.

[agoddamnedrayofsunshine]

PSA

Hi there. You. Person who either suspects you have ADHD, or otherwise has a diagnosis but is struggling to find a provider.

DO NOT FUCKING TRUST THE COMPANY DONE FIRST.

Done First is a company that claims to help people with ADHD get help via Telehealth. I was even their patient for a short time, because doctors around me didn't want to diagnose me because I'm "too old" and I saw an ad and signed up out of desperation (don't do this, kids!)

I was able to get a diagnosis an a prescription, but it was nothing but trouble.

They fucked up my scheduled appointment time the first time, and tried to charge me a $100 rescheduling fee until I pitched a fit that I was ON TIME for what I was slated for

I got like 5 minutes with my provider when I was finally able to get a goddamned appointment and I didn't feel listened to one bit

Suddenly, out of the blue, my provider left the company, which left me unable to get my prescription refilled

They flat out never answered ANY of the many emails and messages I sent, despite giving a 24-72 hour turnaround time to get an answer.

They have no call-in number, so I was not able to actually get a hold of anyone that way

I attempted on multiple occasions to schedule a callback but they ghosted me every single time.

Based on reviews from other patients over the last few days, you can no longer even TRY to schedule a callback from them, or if you can it's over a week in the future.

I ended up doing a chargeback on my card because they never actually provided me care beyond basically leaving me to go through Adderall withdrawals because they can't be fucked to communicate.

But it gets worse.

SERIOUS legal charges have been filed against the founders of Done First.

TL;DR: Done First basically operated as a pill mill while not actually giving two shits about the patients under their care, exploiting patients and doctors alike.

As of today, their website is still up, and they will still GLADLY take your money for a subscription despite them seeming to have NO appointments available to talk to anyone on their "Care Team" (more like They-Don't-Care-Team, amiright guys?)

They have this message on their site as of right now, and claim they're still here to help but please, PLEASE trust me when I say they will not help you.

Done First will steal your money.

Done First will not help you.

Done First is a greedy, scummy scam of a company and they do not deserve your trust.

Don't be stupid like I was. I didn't do my due diligence because I was desperate for care, and I ignored a lot of red flags that in hindsight should've been too obvious.

based on other reviews on places like Reddit and Trust Pilot, they are also just no longer filling any prescriptions so thousands of users are left without vital medication and facing the prospect of being taken off vital meds cold-turkey.

I was fortunately able to get actual medical care that is able to get me the medication I need to live a better life, and an actual ADHD diagnosis that will, I hope, help me navigate life better.

My heart hurts so badly for all those left in the lurch because this company fucked up so badly. Whether it's people with ADHD who need care, or addicts who have suddenly lost a relatively safe avenue to get their drug of choice, NOBODY DESERVES TO GO THROUGH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING AND WITHDRAWALS THIS COMPANY IS CAUSING.

Anyway, I never usually ask this, but if you read this far please either reblog or share this post link with others. You and your loved ones deserve better than this scam.

[insipid-drivel]

This is a heads up for my disabled, ADHD, fat, and chronically ill followers that may have to deal with injuries and topical infections! This stuff is awesome for if you have to look after a wound that you can't easily reach or clean multiple times a day.

Gentian Violet is a non-prescription topical antibacterial liquid that contains a blue skin-dying agent. My wound care doctor is fat, and his patients are largely bed-bound, bariatric, or otherwise can't keep up with rigorous wound-cleaning and bandaging routines for stuff like injuries or flareups of cellulitis infections.

This stuff stings pretty bad at first when it's applied and stains your skin a really potent blue color. Once the Gentian dries and dyes your skin, it means that you have a painted-on antibiotic membrane over your wound that you don't have to bandage, and keeps its seal on your wound for TWO DAYS. That includes with regular showering/bathing.

If you have memory issues, this stuff is fantastic. Not only does it stay active and killing bacteria for 2 days, but the reason the stuff is dyed so potently is so you remember to reapply it when the dye fades. When the dye starts to show your regular skin through again? Time too reapply!

If you have motion, mobility, or fatigue problems, this stuff is fantastic. Especially if you're looking after a wound that's in a tricky place to keep clean all the time without having to fully shower, you can literally use cotton swabs (no double-dipping, please! It's not sanitary!!!) to paint the area, and don't have to concern yourself with it again for another couple of days, giving you extra time to rest and heal, and more time to avoid feeling overwhelmed and panicked because you're "not taking good enough care" of it.

If you're allergic to bandage adhesives or get contact dermatitis from wound dressings, this stuff is great. Sometimes an injury or wound needs dressing just for the sake of the healing process rather than avoiding infection, but for ones where that isn't a concern for you, Gentian is a really good alternative for if Stuff That Cuts Off Air To Your Skin gives you problems.

All in all? It stings like hell at first, but my actual doctor told me that he regularly treats patients with full-limb wounds, and they suffer no ill effects for having large portions of their bodies painted with it instead of bandages and gauze.

If it seems like it might be helpful for you, please do talk to your doctor about it. In my state, it's non-prescription and my doctor gave me my bottle for free. Just be careful with using new medical products, and always remember that it's okay to say, "I can't do that easily. I'm disabled. Can you please provide alternatives for me?" when it comes to medical staff pushing you into care regimens that are more destructive than healing for you.

[soup-of-the-daisies]

so here’s part 2 of my james potter hcs bc this shitbag lives in my head rent free :))

(part 1 for those interested)

his prescription isn’t really heavy and he can technically get around without his glasses, but he gets really bad headaches if he doesn’t wear them

tried muggle contacts for a bit but got an eye infection after a month, went back to glasses permanently

can get really, really mean in the blink of an eye if he sees or hears something he doesn’t appreciate—something as innocent as feeling jealous or something as bad as blatant bigotry, doesn’t really matter. fandom may say that he was sirius’ moral compass but ohhh boy

“imagine sirius black having to reel you in” - overheard in the hospital wing by a random hufflepuff after a group of wannabe death eaters got hexed so badly for terrorising some muggleborn students they had to stay there for two days

can argue himself out of any sticky situation by being passionate and arrogant (like only getting a month’s worth of detention for hexing said group of wannabe death eaters into a two-day stay at the hospital wing)

did not relentlessly pursue lily, actually. he didn’t ask her out until their fifth year and stopped entirely after the slur-incident

did form a relentless (at times one-sided) rivalry that often went way too far with severus snape though, i’ll give you that

he’s got hazel eyes with a bit of green thank you

his nose isn’t longer than harry’s (he’s got a ‘hidung pesek’, like my mum would say). his nosebridge can’t hold up european glasses and it’s a struggle

sirius looks physically like his father which means james does, shamefully, find orion black handsome in a purely aesthetic way. he’ll take this tidbit to the grave with him though as sirius would have an aneurysm if he found out that james thinks orion is a bit of a dilf

james has tackled peter multiple times. most notably, that one time it was over the last digestive in the biscuit tin that hope lupin sent remus

peter broke his nose and james cried because he felt so bad

he’s got a dab hand at healing spells and sirius is good at cleaning spells so it was fine in the end

also ugly crier james 2k23. that man can WEEP

gives the BEST hugs. you’ll feel so safe. he just presses your face against his chest and you’ve got to take it, because it’ll relax your entire body

“it’s like i’ve been reborn” - peter pettigrew after The James Hug following the orange marmalade incident of 1975

will never talk about the orange marmalade incident of 1975 because peter asked him nicely

great secret keeper!! should’ve been his own secret keeper, actually!!

big beatles fan and really cringy about it: he even considers getting a mop top for a bit.

thinks george harrison looks like sirius (but not as handsome) and therefore george is his favourite

same james

ALSO he would be so flattered that some parts of this fandom see him as ATJ’s john lennon i swear lmao

would kill for sirius and has considered killing for sirius on multiple occasions

harry’s ‘trouble usually finds me’ gene comes from him and he has been face to face with acromantulas on multiple occasions purely by accident

harry’s ‘there’s no need to call me sir, professor’ gene is a mix of lily’s sass and james’ smart-assery. part of the reason jily started dating is bc they could match each other’s quips so well

good at practical magic with several seemingly random interests in the theoretical background of certain types of magic. will go off on a tangent on the Braach’s Sixteen Laws of Weight when someone offhandedly mentions a featherlight charm

created the runic sequences of the Map that ground the spellwork woven into the object to ambient magic all by himself and was SO proud of himself that severus was valid in saying james strutted around like he owned the place

human embodiment of the following emoticon= >:3

[punsmaster69]

25/FEB/20XX

light shot into my sockets from the right side. a pillow had been removed from my enclosure. i squint through the light to see frisk.

raising an eyebrow, they gestured to the pile around me on the couch.

"(migraine.)"

they slowly point to the light switch.

"(nope.)"

i point to papyrus, who's focused on a puzzle that came with the newspaper.

"(staying on.)"

"(.....I'm sure he'll understand??)"

"(he would more than understand. he'd probably make a point of assuring i was comfortable.)"

"(..And that's supposed to be a bad thing?)"

"(he's having fun with what he's doing. don't want to suddenly switch him to worry mode.)"

"(I doubt-)"

"(besides. this works fine.)"

"(well, it did before you opened a window in it.)"

shoving my face into the cushion of the couch to continue blocking out the light, i felt the pillow replaced to where it was.

a weight settled on the other end of the couch, then against the pillow and blanket cocoon of mine.

"(So, he hasn't questioned why you're doing this at all?)"

"(told him i was cold.)"

"(It's.. not cold out today.)"

"(believed it anyway.)"

"(Isn't it the opposite under there?)"

"(yeah. kinda burning up, but it's a small price to pay for darkness.)"

"(Why aren't you in your room or something??)"

"(he'd definitely know something was up.)"

"(Dude...)"

"(he would know.)"

"(I don't doubt that, but the lengths you go to just to... NOT worry him.)"

"(i wouldn't say lengths.)"

"(Heights?)"

"(c'mon-)"

"(Widths?)"

"(this is nothin'.)"

"(Well it's not less than something.)"

"(eh.)"

"(what're you up to out there?)"

"(I'm not done talking about you.)"

"(.......k.)"

"(You take something already?)"

"(the less strong kind, but it doesn't interact with my prescription ones.)"

"(Right.)"

"(Just a normal migraine, you think?)"

"(it's kinda centralized around my right eye, which...)"

i was about to sigh, then realized that would probably grab papyrus' attention.

"(i don't love, but it feels mostly normal.)"

"(What's the meter say?)"

trying to not knock over my whole pile to check, i tap the screen to see a red light.

no idea how long it's been like that for.

"(...i'm good.)"

"(let me ask again what you're up to?)"

they were silent for a moment as if wondering something else, but answered anyway.

"(Got bored, and Flowey was being annoying. So I came here.)"

"(you were so nice to him at first.)"

"(I was worried he'd leave or go on a murderous rampage again or something.)"

"(or try and take everyone's souls?)"

"(....I don't think he'll do that one again.)"

"(me either, mostly.)"

"(I'd kick his petals in again for sure.)"

"(Emotionally.)"

"(....Though, I...)"

"(..Would probably have to use SAVEs again to do that.)"

"(listen, if that petalhead went and took everyone's souls?)"

"(i give you full permission to god-mode the timeline or whatever else you need to 'emotionally kick his petals in'.)"

"(I haven't... done that in a while, actually.)"

"(loading?)"

"(Obviously not.)"

"(That would be going back on our promise.)"

"(I meant SAVING.)"

"(...hm.)"

"(Should I?)"

"(In case one of us gets in some tragic accident.)"

"(your call, kiddo.)"

"(if you meet him, tell the next sans i said that.)"

"(Let's hope I don't have to.)"

"(can i ask what's made you so sure flowey won't leave anymore?)"

"(If he wanted to, he totally could have multiple times.)"

memory of an orange sky and empty field come to mind.

"(yeah. true.)"

"(He's stormed off a couple times, but he always returns.)"

"(kid's gotten attached to you.)"

"(Not just me.)"

"(definitely to my bro, too. and tori.)"

"(In a weird way, I think he likes you too.)"

"(tolerates me for paps' sake.)"

"(Definitely part of it, but I don't know. He doesn't utterly recoil whenever you're mentioned like he used to.)"

"(heheh. getting that kind of reaction just by entering the room was pretty funny.)"

"(I'm glad he's warmed up to everyone though.)"

"('cept undyne. he's got beef with her still.)"

"(The thing with Undyne is more like rivalry.)"

"(They have more fun going at each other's throats than they admit to.)"

"(you think it'd turn into all-out war if my bro wasn't the middleman?)"

"(Papyrus is like the glue between most of this friend group.)"

they must have said his name slightly too loud.

"HM?"

"Oh-"

"Just talking about Flowey's friendships."

"FLOWERY HAS BEEN GETTING ALONG WITH EVERYONE A LITTLE MORE AS OF LATE! I'M QUITE PROUD OF HIM."

"MY KINDNESS LESSONS TO HIM HAVE BEEN CONTRIBUTING, NO DOUBT."

"For sure!"

"(undyne and flowey stop fighting when papyrus enters the room, so he must be doing something right.)"

"WAIT, IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FLOWERY AND THE PAYOFF OF MY EXCELLENT KINDNESS TEACHINGS, THAT MEANS..."

"SANS IS ACTUALLY AWAKE UNDER THERE STILL??"

"He is indeed."

i shove my hand through some pillows in a thumbs-up, then quickly pull it back slightly to hide the monitor on my arm.

"HI SANS."

"STILL FREEZING?"

"yep."

"JEEZ."

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING SICK, ARE YOU?"

"nah. just a bit extra chilly."

"left my window open all night, woke up as an ice cube."

"THIS IS WHY I TELL YOU TO CLOSE IT BY AT TEN AT THE LATEST!!"

"YOU'LL DEFINITELY GET SICK IF YOU DON'T."

"not everything's gonna make me sick."

"THE POTENTIAL FOR IT TO IS THERE."

"𝘪𝘭𝘭 be alright. 'specially for one night."

"IS IT AT LEAST CLOSED NOW?"

"uhh..."

suddenly unable to remember whether it actually 𝘄����𝘀 closed.

"yyyeah..?"

"...THAT SOUNDS VERY NON-CONFIDENT."

"I'll check."

frisk's weight disappeared from the opposite end of the couch.

"I'LL ACCOMPANY YOU. WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO GET LOST IN THE PIGSTY THAT IS SANS' ROOM."

"it's not as bad as it was. promise."

his voice was more distant this time.

"RIGHT. AND THE CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR HERE AREN'T BAD AT ALL."

"it's basically clean."

"IT IS NOT."

"definitely is."

"SAY THAT AGAIN WHEN YOU CAN UN-PILLOW CASKET YOURSELF, ICE CUBE SKELETON."

taking the opportunity where neither of them were in sight, i removed the monitor and stuffed it in my pocket.

i opened a gap in the pillow enclosure to let some fresh air in.

the thud of my window shutting could be heard. footsteps stomp down the stairs.

"whoops."

"NEED I START CLOSING IT MANUALLY AT TEN ON MY OWN?"

"i'll remember eventually after freezing myself enough."

"...AS ALWAYS, THE GREAT PAPYRUS MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY..."

"Sans, you should set an alarm so that you actually remember."

"GOOD IDEA, FRISK!"

"SANS, GIVE ME YOUR PHONE. I'M SETTING AN ALARM FOR YOU."

"ok."

"can you also set a timer while you're at it?"

"WHAT FOR?"

"so i don't sleep the rest of the day."

"Guess it was only a matter of time before he took a nap there."

"can't resist the allure of a good nap buried in cushions."

can't overheat or suffer migraines or have to deal with magic issues if i'm asleep.

"HUMAN, DO YOU WANT TO COOK SOMETHING WITH ME?"

"Yeah!!"

"WE'LL WAKE SANS UP AFTERWARDS, THEN."

——

i was woken up to macaroni with what might be considered "definitely too much cheese" in it. not like i mind, though - and after my migraine cleared up, i was far too hungry to care.

p.s.

took care of the red monitor thing by taking shortcuts around town for a while after papyrus thought i went to bed.

is it the greatest solution?

no idea. too exhausted after that to worry about.

[spooksforsammy]

Despite my age I still need help with many tasks that my four year old niece can independently do.

I have low-medium support needs closer to the medium side, which is why just say medium support needs. I need help with some Badls and just about all Iadls

Here’s an idea on what it means for me to be medium support needs. This is a extremely simplified version of explanations

Badls:

Basic activities of daily life are

Eating (moving food to and from mouth) dressing, personal hygiene(washing, doing hair, shaving ect) , toilet, and transferring(moving from one place to another)

I need help with personal hygiene, toilet and occasional dressing

Personal hygiene: I need intensive prompting to shower, change clothes and need help with shaving. When it comes to showering, have be told multiple times, over and over and over and some days that’s not even enough. Something have to have someone turn on shower and get towel and clothes and tell me to get in.

During the school week I brush my teeth on a schedule, so come weekend and breaks have to reminded often do so. Middle school had be reminded brush teeth no matter day or week so is improvement and hopefully one day can remember do no matter schedule or day.

Washing hair is problem not only because hate water in hair and face but because how many steps are. I’m still deeply afraid to wash hair for multiple reasons and often convince sister do for me. Even times where managed do self, did wrong to point where Sister still have go in and rewash. Have thick hair so have scrub correctly and in the shower freeze up. Hard even open eyes.

Tolieting: when say need help don’t really mean emptying but getting there so can empty. Can’t tell when need use bathroom until really bad so every few hours am told go try. If not told use bathroom will hold until no option but use, so do pee self at times.

Dressing: this isn’t a huge problem of mines, but if not told change clothes will keep wearing same ones. This also because memory problems, so don’t remember if already worn or not. The only thing really allowed rewear is jackets because safe jackets always wear when out.

IADLS:

Instrumental Activities of Daily Living are

using the telephone, shopping, preparing meals, housekeeping, using transportation, taking medication(s), and managing finances. I need help with all these.

Using the telephone:I don’t need help using the telephone in sense of getting on and off phone or tablet, but when come to phone calls or staying safe (not giving out too much information that personal). My boyfriend has access to all my accounts and monitors them to make sure no one does anything weird or that can ruin my safety. My boyfriend and sister makes my phone calls, helps with emails (saying what type, what not do ect) and not able schedule things by self.

Shopping: im not allowed to leave the house by myself unless it’s to go to my boyfriend’s house or to the bus stop (both times it’s a route where either can be watched or someone family know and trust can keep eye on me. So even if along am being monitored). Im not allowed in stores alone as they are huge and i wonder. I also have low awareness and am not aware when danger is around or happening. Am allowed go shopping with others but that’s just walking around.

Transportation: this is also appart of low awareness. Can’t ride bus alone, can’t drive. Can’t even ride bike. Not fully aware world around so wouldn’t know where go. Also get overwhelmed on buses around many people and shutdown; shutdown ruin sense of awareness more.

Medication: is memory problem and can’t tell when need take. For example pain killers, can’t tell when bad enough to take or when in pain and need take. Haven’t been on prescription in years but was on, nana had bring pill to me take otherwise wouldn’t remember.

Finances: don’t know how manage money. Don’t know how much money apps work and can’t count. Couldn’t understand how much need spend how much have. When come cash, lose often because forget where place. Also struggle with saving up, so when someone in charge, can’t spend just because have. Sister and boyfriend in charge of managing for me but try help.

Meal prepping: I don’t fully understand how to meal prep and am not fully trusted around the stove, oven and knives. When using them, have to have supervision otherwise will cut or burn or otherwise hurt self. Don’t understand shouldn’t do certain things (example: made caramel, boyfriend was in kitchen watching make and was stirring wrong but didn’t know was doing wrong and burned hand and thigh). And certain things shouldn’t go certain places. Also can’t stay focused long enough do and stims and sensory issues get in way.

Housekeeping: can clean up space but once again have be told. And even if clean, one boyfriend help withe everything clean up and someone else (sister or oldest brother) have go back in and actually clean up. Am working on it but is sense of don’t understand what need be clean what okay and remembering where everything go so put in spot think belong. Prompting isn’t enough to clean up room though, to many steps involved and remember what belongs where is something struggle with deeply. Also includes sensory like having touch multiple things, sounds and smells. Stims also get in way to point where not able do.

And something didn’t include in alot of these (even if should have) is fact that sort of ‘freeze up’ when having do them. Like with bathing, get stuck like unable move when need shower. Even if want move can’t, and in some of these times can’t even move mouth or get brain think. Just stand there.

Taking baths would help but feel held down when taking them. When sit in water unable move, feel like sinking and being held down at same time. Start chocking and gasping for air like breathing not possible.

In other cases, body and mind feels like just… broke and not able do anything anymore. Will sit there unresponsive until body ready continue on with task or thought of task disappeared.

For alot of Iadls not able actually do self so someone else doing or going in and redoing for me. I’m working on some ( shopping, telephone) but even if able get down, someone else will always need be around help.