#it still is wammy house killing him

[qeyond]

I heard you say that You'd lost, you'd lost You'd lost your way But I don't think you had much to lose That house was never built for you And I ain't gonna hang my head for them For them And I ain't gonna let them Paint the truth with sin And I ain't gonna tell you it's okay But at the end of the day You were just something they'd blame

B always knew A's days were numbered, and while the Eyes were never kind enough to whisper secrets locked behind tear choked throats, he always knew. He always knew.

[grimalkinmessor]

Not to keep harping on it but Death Note has plenty of fridge horror to go along with the unintentional humor and romance.

Like,,,the ENTIRETY of Wammy's House is such a fucked up concept. An orphanage where they crank out genius kids into the world by...what? What are they doing with those kids? What do you mean one of them died in there? Wait—and the second one is a serial killer? And one joined the mafia? What—WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THOSE KIDS—

Not to mention the intricacies of L and Watari's relationship. He's seen as a butler/father figure until you find out that he's an inventor/war vet who took in an orphan with the express purpose of making him useful. No wonder Wammy's runs the way it does when the og, the man it is named after sees children as tools and means to an end. And, given that L has already made them so much money playing stocks that it doesn't even matter anymore (Mr. Builds A Skyscraper To House Five People), why is Quillish still with him? To keep an eye on him? To make sure L doesn't forget where he came from? Out of some sort of guilt for never teaching him how to take care of himself because those weren't the skills that Quillish thought it important to cultivate? Or maybe even to keep him dependent on Quillish to keep functioning properly.

And then there's the horror of L himself. Not even the implications of him, but the proof of who he is and what he can do. The thought of a man with so much money and power and influence that if he wanted to make you disappear, if he wanted to torture you or hold your loved ones hostage or kill you and everyone that's ever shaken your hand he could and no one would fucking bat an eye—that's fucking terrifying. (Where the fuck is Beyond—) And, not only does he have the power to do all that; no one would question it because he's part of Law™. His every action can be excused as being part of the Greater Good, despite the fact that L himself has admitted that everything he does is for his own benefit and/or entertainment.

Light, of course, is an obvious horror—but one of the most horrific things about him is glossed over. I'm not someone who personally believes in the Death Note's corruptive powers or aura or whatever, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that, once you give up the Death Note, your memories of it are erased. All the people you've killed, all the things that you've seen, you've still seen and done all those things, you just don't remember it. There's a hole in your mind, and all that prickly, thorny mess that grew in you when you were a killer is still there, choking you—you just don't know why. Why are you so unfazed by death? Why don't you cry when your mother dies? Why are you so afraid of being something that looks like you? Will you ever be certain of anything again? Will you ever, truly, know yourself when you can't remember all the atrocities you've committed? Can you ever change and grow again if your roots are gone? Or are you stuck in stasis forever now, your mind stalling in one place in order to keep you from remembering the people you've killed?

[beyondthebackup]

On Curiosity, Killing & Cats

[illustration: @nnenteyn-new // telegram // bootsy]

Rating: E | Words: 4,502 | Pairing: BxL

@dnkinktober Prompt: Humiliation/Degradation (Day 7)

Summary:

A is dead, and Roger insists that allowing B to succeed as L is dangerous. The first generation of Wammy’s project is at an impasse and L is - was - curious.

Read on AO3 or under the cut. I hope you enjoy!

Author's Note:

This is technically my first attempt at fanfiction not written specifically for this rp blog. It's also my first time writing L and sharing any smut I've written publicly although I'll be honest, this ended up more plot-heavy than I anticipated and it's relatively tame compared to my private stuff.

All that said I want to thank @ourflagmeansdeathnote @dykelawlight @lightyaoigami @neallo and @brothercrush for being fantastic writers/artists themselves and inspiring me to put myself out there! (And all the other great creators in the dn fandom, I will look desperate and uncool if I tag all of you)

This is an uncomfortably long stretch of silence, even for L.

He observes Backup through the cracks of his sugar-dusted fingers as he busies himself with an assortment of pastries on a serving cart, inspecting and then devouring each with the practiced efficiency of an assembly line.

Honestly, L expected him to say something first.

Backup's file describes him as 'extroverted, energetic and talkative', but he hasn't spoken. He is maintaining eye contact. A little too well, actually. Paired with that flat expression, it's all a bit disconcerting...though L is not entirely unaware that others might think similarly of him.

L gulps down a mouthful of frosting and pushes the cart toward B, who is seated on the other side of Roger’s desk.

"Would you like some?" he asks, mid-chew.

Backup does not break eye contact, but he does finally speak.

"Why are you here?"

His tone is light and mildly curious, as if L were an acquaintance he bumped into at the grocery store.

L could ask himself that very same question. He did not have to be here, he did not particularly want to be here, yet he had indeed chosen to be here.

"These are extenuating circumstances."

B tilts his head. "You mean now that A's dead?"

Straight to the point.

Still, Backup’s flippant attitude does little to remedy the atmosphere.

A, the first child taken into Wammy’s House, has committed suicide at the tender age of 18.

L is not much older than them, and yet…

"Now that you are next in line to take over as L in the event of my death," he clarified.

"There is some debate about whether or not that should remain the case."

Backup is quick to open his mouth, although he doesn't seem all that surprised - before he can start, L lifts a manila folder pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

"I read your file."

B averts his eyes with a pout. "Oh, that…"

"…Well, it makes sense you'd want a well-behaved successor. The whole point of being a detective is to lock up people that break the rules, after all."

L shifts in his seat and wedges his thumb into the corner of his mouth.

It's a ridiculous oversimplification - Backup can't be serious, so is he…mocking him?

"…Is that the point?"

"I dunno, I'm not a detective. You tell me. Is it acceptable for L to break the rules?"

Yes, B is definitely mocking him…but with enough subtext to pique L's interest.

"That depends. Wammy's House is Watari's project, not mine. Breaking the rules here does not necessarily mean anything to me."

"What?" Backup scoffs, more animated all of a sudden. "Shouldn't you take being L a little more seriously? Isn't it your choice who succeeds you in the end?"

"Watari has requested that I make the final decision, yes."

B's eyes narrow.

"No one here can beat me. They would've done it by now."

"That does appear to be the case."

"Then what? Aren't you going to tell me that I can't be L if I don't behave?"

So he was expecting this.

The truth is, L still isn't sure why he's here. He hasn't made a decision, and interacting with B so far has only left him all the more unsure.

What is he going to tell Backup?

Pondering this, L reaches for a small dish of ice cream. He is deep enough in thought that he doesn't notice B finally breaking eye contact to follow the movement of his hands.

He does not notice B's patience fraying, the thinness of his veneer as he watches him nurse the cold off his teaspoon.

"…Do you still expect me to prove myself to you?" he asks quietly.

Now, there is no mistaking it. Resentment hangs from every word.

"Do you want me to grovel?"

L pulls the spoon from his mouth and meets Backup's eyes again, brow furrowed and stern.

"No. This isn't about me."

That's when L sees B smile for the very time.

If you could call it that - his upper lip twitching suddenly with disbelief, parting to reveal the beginning of something toothy and joyless.

"Bullshit,"

"A's dead because of you, you know."

A is dead because of you.

L swatted away that very same thought the day he got the news. He dismissed it because he knew it was illogical, and here Backup is actually saying it to his face. It's absurd, and L allows that to show on his face.

B is undeterred, however. He drags his chair closer to Roger's desk, plants his elbows on the surface and leans in close, eyes widening to take in the moment with full clarity.

"You don't believe me? Do you think people kill themselves for no reason? He's dead because he wasted his entire life trying to become you and failed. Do you think it's fun here, L? Is it even fun being you?"

L likes to think he is not so easily provoked, but if this is Backup's goal, he has succeeded. L did not come here to evaluate the efficacy or ethics of Watari's program, especially not at the behest of someone who is so obviously trying to get a rise out of him.

"What is it that you want from me, Backup?"

"What do I want?"

"You aren't trying to convince me that you should be my successor. If that isn't what you want, should we end the conversation?"

L is curt, but resists the temptation to be overly passive-aggressive. He understands the power dynamic - there is no need to stoop to Backup's level here. This is enough.

Dishes clatter, pastries hit the floor and in seconds Backup has vaulted over the desk and is upon him, seizing his throat with both hands.

Perhaps even more startling than the abruptness of B's attack is its sheer ferocity. L's gasp is cut off as B presses both thumbs into his neck, just above the windpipe. His grip tightens steadily and L feels a rush of genuine fear.

This is not a mere moment of blind rage because a moment has passed, and the look on B’s face is in fact indiscernible to L. Those dark eyes fixate on his and betray nothing but resolve.

He is in danger.

L grabs at his forearms, clawing into them to little effect. He cannot speak, and even if he could-

He asked Roger not to interfere with their meeting.

L is here out of curiosity.

Curiosity and perhaps, deep down, a small (and obviously misguided) sense of responsibility for this place and the orphans raised in it.

Honestly, he prefers not to think about it much.

But A is dead, and Roger insists that allowing B to succeed as L is dangerous.

The first generation of Wammy’s project is at an impasse and L is - was - curious.

It's not that he never considered the possibility of an outburst. That would be understandable, warranted even. L asked Roger not to interfere with this meeting because if B had something to say to him, he wanted to hear it.

But this is different.

L struggles and B draws closer, forcing him to shrink back, sink deeper into Roger's leather armchair. It wounds his ego to be caught so off guard, but L can't even remember the last time he was touched by someone other than Watari.

He spends much of his time isolated from others, and even when he isn't, no one would dare violate his personal space like this.

It isn't just the violence that is alien, the danger, but his touch, and L finds himself paralyzed by it all. Frozen by the fact that B is smiling again, and this time, he seems genuinely happy.

"This is what I want, L," Backup sighs. "That look on your face."

Dread settles into the pit in L's chest and he steels himself to kick at B as hard as he can. It takes more than a few attempts to knock him off balance, but he manages, and with some distance between them, L scrambles out of the armchair.

B is fast, L is flexible, B is strong, L is stubborn.

As B grabs L by the hem of his shirt, L turns to take another swing at him, and in the fray the two of them are sent tumbling to the ground.

So begins the undignified floor wrestling match between two young geniuses.

...Unfortunately, it appears B is the better of the two at wrestling.

L manages to knock the breath out of B more than once, but it makes little difference. He finds himself pinned underneath Backup's oppressive weight while he snickers like a child at play.

"Shhh...relax. Relax! Just stay there! Stay there. I realized something important. I won't hurt you. Calm down. Listen."

"What, Backup?" L snaps as he drops his hands, exasperated.

B grins impishly at him.

"You're a disappointment!"

L stares at Backup in utter disbelief.

"Me?"

"Now that I've met you, I know my entire life has been a waste of time!"

L's stomach drops as he assures himself these are only provocations. Why else would Backup be so gratingly cheerful about it?

"I wasted it trying to become you. A died trying to become you.

But you're just a loser! Another worthless human being! You're weak, you're pathetic, and worst of all, you're boring!

World's Greatest Detective. You!? Are you serious!? Look at you!!"

L stiffens and braces himself to shove B off. He doesn't need to listen to this, Backup is obviously the kind of person that takes pleasure in spite, this is fun for him, this is a waste of time-

"A was better than you, you know," he goes on, voice dripping with contempt. "I actually respected him. I bet everyone was hoping you would die so he could replace you. Too bad."

Backup lowers himself down onto his elbows and cups his hands around L’s face, relishing in it when he feels him flinch.

How many people have seen L like this?

His sneer has vanished. L does not move - he is fighting panic, fighting his racing heart and the goosebumps dotting his skin, he is fighting the confusion that follows the intimacy of skin-on-skin poisoned by the malice on B's tongue.

B's heartbeat is equally frantic, but it doesn't show on his face. L is not nearly as skilled as B in this regard and finds himself all too conscious of his own labored breathing.

"You were my entire life," he says. “I spent all this time waiting for you, thinking of you...only for you to be like this. A died because he wasn't good enough. And now you're here to tell me I’m not good enough."

"No."

"Do you think your life is worth more than all of our lives combined?"

"I never said that."

"You said this isn't about you, but that's not true, is it?

My life has always been about you. A's, too. You're the reason why this place exists. Why I exist.

I exist because you're not good enough, either.

No matter how many cases you solve, you're no different from me. You're a tool. An object. You exist to be used.

That's why you're what...20? And Watari already has an entire orphanage of kids ready to take your place when you die! He doesn't believe in you either."

"That's enough," L cannot take it anymore, he cannot listen to another second of this, he cannot spend another moment on this floor pinned under him, being touched by him, his skin is crawling and he cannot breathe and the air is hot and his stomach is tight and he feels his heartbeat in all the wrong places.

L wills himself to snap out of it, he needs to get B off of him before-

Abruptly, B sits up and directly on top of

"-!? Do you have an erection!?"

B exclaims as if he doesn't know the meaning of the word and all the color drains from L's face.

Do not dignify that with a response. It is involuntary and nothing to be ashamed of.

"Is this turning you on?"

"No."

B bursts into a fit of cruel laughter and L only tenses underneath him, awash with humiliation. L does not often care what others think of him, but he has never felt like this before, so utterly degraded by someone who should respect him, and he's laughing at him, at his- why does he have an erection?

"No?" B echoes. "What's this?" Sliding easily down his thighs, L jerks back from his hand when he feels it rest on the crotch of his jeans.

"I knew it! You're a pervert!"

"And what does that make you, exactly?" L hits back.

"This isn't about me," B draws out L's own line. "Why are you so easy, anyway...? Oh! I get it - I bet no one's ever touched you, besides that disgusting old man. Why would they?"

It's amazing how that talkativeness of his rears its ugly head in a situation like this.

"You're a virgin, aren't you? You're probably touch starved...even though you're older than me and rich and everything. Aww, it must be so lonely being L!"

“Get off of me," L hisses.

"You sure that's what you want?"

With a sharp exhale through his nose, L squeezes his eyes shut for a moment...for just a single moment of peace. He needs to think, he needs to move, and he needs to never admit that B is right and he isn't sure if that's what he wants, because he is excited by this.

He doesn't have the time to intellectualize it. He can break his rule and call for Roger. He can shove B off of him. He can stop this, he could've avoided this entirely had he smothered that curiosity, taken the file at its word and never met one of his so-called successors.

L can feel B's gaze burning through him, but at least he's not talking in that perpetually amused voice and at least he can't see that sadistic excuse for a smile. There is something wrong with B and there is something wrong with him for feeling like this is the first time in a long time someone has managed to surprise or challenge him.

He doesn't have the time to intellectualize it and therefore doesn't have time to convince himself that this is wrong.

It is wrong that he feels relief when B does not wait for him to answer and dips his slender fingers past the waistband of his jeans. Again, he only rests his hand against L's growing arousal. He does not provide any friction, does not move.

It takes all of L's willpower to fight an upward twitch of his hips, the weight and warmth of Backup's touch promising pleasure and yet refusing to follow through.

"Oh, L..." B hums. "You are just a man, after all."

The World's Greatest detective pinned underneath him, shirt inched up past his navel in the fray, so clearly out of his depth. And it was easy. So fucking easy.

"Is this the one thing Watari won't do for you?"

B delights in watching the pink flush crawl up the back of L's neck to his cheekbones, that jaw set so tight he just knows he is gritting his teeth. He can't even look at him, turning his head to the side as if B would ever let him off that easy.

"Look at me," B says sweetly.

L does not.

"I said, look at me," B grabs L by the chin and forces him face forward. He suddenly takes L's clothed erection into a light grip, wringing a quiet gasp out of him. The detective's eyes snap open to glare at Backup with equal parts resentment and desperation, filling B with a deep and twisted satisfaction. He knows that look all too well.

"Do you hate me, L?" he asks, eyes softening with something resembling infatuation. It makes L all the more confused and uncomfortable and frustrated that B will not just get this over with.

Over the course of this conversation, L has learned at least one thing about Backup. Responding in the affirmative is likely what he wants.

This whole thing must have been to get a rise out of him, and L is playing right into his hands.

Because he's...enjoying it.

"I have no reason to hate you, Backup. I have no reason to feel any particular way about you at all,"

His assumption is proved correct when B immediately digs his nails into L's jaw.

"Your dick disagrees."

"It's involuntary."

B's grip on L's erection slacks again. "You don't want me to touch you?"

L's glare darkens.

"Say it."

L curls his toes, wondering if it would be enough to clamp his thighs around B's hand or if his aim all this time really was for L to discard his dignity. Resisting B is an uncomfortable, laborious, painful experience...but would sacrificing his dignity, his better judgement for a single moment of carnal satisfaction be worse?

I want you to touch me.

L tries the sentence out in his mind and it makes him wince. He's imagining B's grin splitting wide again, that sharp laugh, and the way his cock will throb when the humiliation sinks in. He imagines Backup following through, apparently capable of giving him the release that he has never been interested in seeking out until now.

This has awakened something in him. The wrongness of it all is what makes L want it, and he isn't sure if anything will ever feel quite this wrong again.

What's that saying? Curiosity killed the cat?

L will never see this cat again. Not ever.

Does it really matter if he makes a mistake now?

L sucks in air through his teeth and finally, recklessly relents.

"I want you to touch me," he mumbles with just enough conviction as to not feel entirely pathetic, to allow himself some illusion that he is in fact in control.

"...You fucking pervert," B giggles. "I didn't actually think you'd say it. You're shameless, that's so gross..."

Even so, it seems to do the trick. B massages him slowly through his underwear, free hand finally releasing his jaw to take a fistful of L's hair and yank his head back.

"I'm barely 18, what is wrong with you?"

"That's not-!"

"Shut up," B palms him with more intention. He can feel L twitching around his fingers as he pulls the fabric around his length, pleasures him with the barrier that exists between him and what he actually wants.

"Hhn-" With all pretext shattered, L slowly lets go. This friction is not nearly enough or he wouldn't be squirming like this, chewing down on his tongue wishing Backup would just get on with it already.

"Aren't there cameras in here? What will the old man think of you?"

"Just get on with it..." L sighs with marked frustration.

"I was trying to give you plausible deniability by only going this far. You'll have to say please if you want me to actually touch the hard-on you got from being degraded by me."

"You are ridiculous," L seethes.

Plausible deniability. Right.

"I assure you I'm quite serious. Having your successor get you off is going to be your fault."

"My fault? I'm not the one who started this."

"You're going to blame me? Even when our power dynamic is like this? You're not a good person at all, L. You can't take responsibility for anything."

Another ragged sigh interrupts L's retort as B gropes his cock, offering him delicious pressure and friction but refusing to give up on the tease...until he feels a wet spot growing, at least.

B wets his lip with his tongue. "I don't think I even have to go any farther. Treating you like the garbage you are and just a little bit of attention is all it takes."

"Please," L forces out.

"Please what?"

"More. Please just...touch me more."

"It's not enough?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll do what you say. I'm obsessed with you after all."

True to his word, Backup releases L and pulls his jeans and underwear down past his hips, exposing L's straining, leaking cock for the both of them to see.

"You just said that I was worthless."

"You are. I hate you more than anything, and nothing would make me happier than watching you suffer. That's the kind of person that's going to get you off for the first time, L. And I'm doing it not because I want you back, but because I know you'll never forget it..."

B finally wraps his hand around L's erection and of course he is lying about not wanting it, he wants this desperately, he is coming undone inside in ways that L could never imagine, because he does not know him.

He has nothing to do with him.

Hatred, lust and love are not all that different after all.

L tries to quiet his mind, to avoid internalizing anything B is saying. For whatever reason being spoken to like this and treated like this is the most arousing thing L has ever personally experienced, and he should treat this as something being done in service of him.

That's what it really is. It has to be.

At the end of the day, no matter what B said, he would still be B and L would still be L.

B leans in close, still stroking L all too slowly, too lightly, and yet it is enough to force unsightly little mewls from L's lips. He shudders when he feels Backup's lips pressed against the shell of his ear.

"I want you to remember this feeling, L," he whispers.

L swallows hard and bucks up to meet B's movements.

"I want you to remember how desperate and helpless and low you feel right now, and I want you to remember it was me that made you feel this way."

The friction is maddening. So simple and yet so intense. L feels his inner voice quieting, fading, he feels dangerously human, dangerously like simple flesh, like B said, just a man...not the world's greatest anything.

"No one is ever going to care about you as much as I do. I thought of you constantly for ten years. Yet now that I know you...I despise you."

L is panting as B fists his cock, speaking with such vitriol as to be certain L could not fool himself into thinking it was an act.

"I despise you so much. You make me sick. And you're getting off on that? Off on my misery..."

"N-no-"

"You are. I know because I got off on A's misery, and I'm getting off on yours, too. I know exactly the kind of person you are.

Depraved. Disgusting. Fucked in the head. You hide behind your title and the law so no one ever finds out you're just a pathetic fucking cock-sucking degenerate that would be better off dead!"

L groans deeply and hates himself for it. He doesn't understand himself, he doesn't understand this, why every word is pulsing through L's hips like lightning, why it feels so good to be reduced to this when most of his life, his efforts only earned him universal praise.

"What would Watari think if he saw you right now, L? He'd be so disappointed in you. Why would you do something like this? It's inappropriate, it's dangerous, you were warned, right? Don't you know better?"

"Stop...stop saying his name..."

"Don't you know better, L? Say it."

"I-I know better..."

"So why are you doing this?"

"I...don't know-!" L cries out in frustration, moans rolling out of him in choked out intervals. The pleasure is piercing him, becoming unbearable, mutating into something frightening, something about to burst.

"Tell me why!" B demands, releasing L altogether. At this stage, he can't bear it, and the levy breaks.

"Because I'm a pervert! I'm disgusting and I'm pathetic and I want you to touch me, you're right about me, B! You're right..." L whines. "Please don't stop, I can't take it anymore..."

This wipes the smile off B's face which makes it all the more painful...he is staring at L incredulously and for the first time L becomes aware that B is also panting, his skin is just as hot.

He presses his forehead against L's and stares at him in silence for a few beats. It drives a vicious chill up his spine and he knows, deep deep down,

even if he never saw B again,

he's made a terrible mistake.

"I'll never let you forget about me, L."

And so he reaches back between L's thighs for the final time with no intention of holding back.

L jerks under him, thighs trembling as B swirls his thumb over his sensitive head.

"Keep your eyes open, slut."

Even as his mouth hangs open, moaning freely to keep B from becoming restless enough to return to his teasing, it's not enough.

Backup is so focused on him, so unwilling to look away that L is forced to endure the intimacy of sustained eye contact while he is this vulnerable. He feels stripped bare, like Backup is staring right through him.

No one should see him so unguarded, especially never someone like him, yet he obeys, he obeys and lets B see everything, his drawn-out groans as his orgasm creeps up on him, the drool beading at the corner of his mouth, the hopeless lust in his tired eyes.

He feels humiliated. Degraded. Disgusting. But most of all, he feels alive.

All thoughts cease as L arches his back and white hot satisfaction washes over his entire body. He reaches for B's forearms, gripping onto him as he cums hard all over his hand, an undignified mess left behind on the both of them, proof that it happened.

Undeniable.

B lets out a shaky breath and watches L sink into the floor with wide eyes. The memory and the image burning into his psyche where it would never leave him. Where it strengthened his result to become a murderer

and destroy L.

L would never forget this feeling, but neither would B.

With A dead, his new purpose in life is clear.

He will be the one to make L grovel.

B is still lost in thought when L reluctantly opens his eyes to face the aftermath. Luckily for him, B is not looking back at him but at his own hand.

L is confused until Backup sticks his cum-covered fingers into his mouth and begins to suck them clean-

No. L has to get out of here right now before this gets any worse.

Fine, Backup. You win.

I'll break my rule.

"Roger!!!" L shouts at the top of his lungs.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

RANDOM DEATH NOTE HEADCANONS I WANT TO SHARE THANKS TO ME WANTING TO EXSPAND MY AU:

LIGHT:

Has survivor syndrome. What's that? Survivor syndrome, also known as survivor's guilt, is the response of a person when they believe they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not, often feeling self-guilt. This can be from being Kira or set before Kira, like an incident from his youth that he forever lingers with. This mixed with his "where's the justice" mind set only adds fuel to the fire of the war in his mind

Favorite food isn't apples as many would assume/joke about

The poor boy didn't really think of his sexual orientation until collage, didn't have the means or needs to and it wasn't only until he dated Misa and began to hang out with L he started to think on it more

In my AU Ryuk and Rem didn't give Light and Misa the Death Notes again and L, Light, Misa, etc didn't die, so this technically takes place the amnesia arc which I argue is a favorite okay?! Still doesn't mean Light gets dreams of him as Kira and isn't aware he was.

MISA:

Got really into the Gothic look after her parents' death where someone was a jerk and said a "joke" when she was still wearing black while she was still grieving

Didn't really fall in love with L right away (obviously) but she did care for him in a way that showed she cared

Loves bubble baths

Like Light she still has dreams of Rem and often find herself crying over the waking of her dreams as if someone killed her loved one in front of her

And like Light she knows after Rem confronted her she was the second Kira and feels terrible about it

Has a beautiful singing voice

After a lot her and Kiyomi kind of became friends, she honestly feels as if Kiyomi reminds her of someone she knew before (ie rem)

L:

Dude, this man was aware he liked both for a loooooonnng ass time, since Wammy actually

He knows Light and Misa were Kira, I mean he subspecies it since day one but to actually be right honestly hurt him.. He didn't want to be right in this case. So, he swore not to say a word since they're no longer Kira and 2nd Kira

Loves baths more than Misa

His family died in an domestic abuse murder suicide and he wandered out the house alone in which an officer found him and discovered his family's death, since then he's been emotionally isolated

Is autistic just doesn't get meds

Has lots of stim toys and objects he uses a lot when he thinks hard or under/overstimulated

Loves hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream

Watari was basically his father after the many years they've known each other, doing the most of a father like role than others, helping the boy when needed, etc. And while L doesn't show emotions he generally is greatful and sees Watari as his father figure, even having him his best man and father-of-the-groom for his wedding

MISALIGHTL:

As mentioned with L when I said "wedding", the three didn't really want a huge public wedding since that would exposed L's identity and it would be a headache to deal with so they had a secret small ceremony with friends and some family with Watari being L's father-of-the-groom, Sayu as Light's Best Lady, and Kiyomi was Misa's maid of Honor. They each wore a mix of white and black with some red elements thrown in there for many reasons but mostly cause L said they looked good so yeah

Their wedding cake was similar to these two:

They all live in an apartment together, similar as to the building they were all stuck in, and have their own rooms/studies for work while Misa keeps working as a model and actress and both L and Light kept working as detectives until Light decided to leave being a detective after so many nightmares of cases and being Kira and decided to be a true crime/mystery novel writer

One day while they were chilling, pre-marriage them btw, L decided he's going to visit Wammy to get any plans of who his next "L" would be if he died and they came along with him. There they were able to meet Near, Mello, and Matt. The three kids hung out with them during their stay back in Japan to see who is perfect for the next role. Weeks pass and all three are doing really well and it didn't really sink in until later that L is actually doing this to see if he wants kids. Well, Misa and Light like the idea and they ended up adopting Mello as their son in which he admittedly cried

They go on date nights three times a week, one for each pair with their trio dates mostly being at home

After a few years of marriage they had two kids of their own in which Mello likes the role of older brother

NEAR:

Like L, Near is autistic (I believe that's canon and people hate it??)

Is nonbinary. I'm sorry I honestly can't see this baby as cis at all!

Owns lots of pants, shirts, skirts, dresses, tights, boots, heels, flat shoes, socks that'll work with him with any gender dysphoria and day

Primally goes by Near since that sounded right

Suffer from night terrors which is how his spark of studying happened cause that distracted them

Demi-Sexual bean!

Got adopted by Kiyomi and gets spoiled rotten

MELLO:

Choco-holic what else is new

Suffered an eating disorder which was quickly helped fixed with Matt and his new family

Mentioned above with L, Light, and Misa adopting him, he adores his family gratefully and it's not just cause L chose him out of everyone

Him and Near still have a rather strong rivalry but it's healthy now and also more so childish thanks to their adopted families

Likes his Uncle Matsuda a lot (Matsuda ends up marrying Sayu in this)

Is kind of that kid in school who knows shit and will market the crap out of soda and candies to the kids who have money and parents who won't allow sugar in his household

Often gets caught sneaking out to see Matt and sometimes (a lot) Near by his parents

Is Pan and always knew it

MATT:

Got adopted by Stephen and Teru in this AU

Still is obsessed with video games and eats candy cigarettes until he's legal to smoke if he wants to

Is straight besties with Mello and Near

Has so much gaming stuff it's unreal

Loves the rain

MATT X MELLO X NEAR:

Got together sometime after Near was adopted with Matt and Mello being a thing first and Near joined after

They're both protective of Near

And then Near would shock everyone with a thrown of a textbook to the face if someone says something bad about either of them

Misa is overly supportive of this relationship, Kiyomi loves to tease Near often, and the many times Teru and Stephen would interrupt calls with them to tease is too much

[mailjeevasfan]

Heya how's your day? I would like to make a request, I was thinking of either domestic or angst headcanons with Mello, whatever ur in the mood to write. Preferably with an s/o that is in the mafia with him (usually when I imagine these scenarios I picture that they already knew each other since wammy but that's optional) take your time and thx :)

hey i’m good thank you sm for ur request! this was super fun to write i tried to do a bit of everything

(when i think of hcs for matt and mello i always imagine the reader growing up with them at wammy’s house too so i’m fully with you on that)

-mello x gn! reader

༺♰༻

general/domestic hcs for mello x reader ❦

-the hottest and most badass mafia couple ever. like a super powerful duo

-he’d always make a conscious effort to make sure you were as safe as possible even though you insist you can manage things yourself (which you can, but you can’t deny that you like his protectiveness)

-however he’s mello so he would make sure to keep it subtle if he really had to take action to ensure your safety. he wouldn’t want his true feelings to get out despite his trust in you

-after he ran away from wammy’s house, you were probably very depressed for a while. even though it took a long time for mello to warm up to you as kids, you’d become so close and living without him was horrible. he was your best friend for a long time, and helped you through things as wammy’s house was probably not the best place to be at times

-i feel like you’d probably also end up running away at some point before you were allowed to leave because you were so worried about his safety. despite you being fully aware that he was a tough guy, he was still very young and you wanted to help him in any way you could.

-after you found him (most likely with a little help from matt) he was already with the mafia, and it scared you. you weren’t used to such a lifestyle, and you worried for your safety at times, until you realised the power he had over the other members.

-he would of been very hesitant to allow you to join them, understanding how dangerous it was but you told him that you wanted to help him no matter what.

-if any of the other members mistreated you or even looked at you the wrong way, you already know mello would be killing that mf LMAO

-after enough time you’d be used to how things work and after you guys established your relationship, you were both officially untouchable. as previously stated, THE most badass mafia couple ever

-whenever either of you felt the pressure or stress of the work you were doing, you’d be there for each other. it helped that you were usually worrying about the same things because you’d understand each other completely.

-when you got home after a particularly tough day there’d be plenty of cuddles and kisses (and probably a lot of chocolate, for mello at the very least)

༺♰༻

[coockie8]

give me more wammys kids headcanons!!!!!

Hmm let's see here. Tryna remember a headcanon for each of them lol

Well L was definitely abused as a child before Watari. There's just certain aspects to his personality that give off the most unfortunate vibes.

Matt's a stoner. Like a major, grade A stoner. Mello still doesn't know how Matt managed to convince Roger that the smell in his room was just incense.

Near has crippling Lupus and struggles to get around by himself which is why we see him actually on his feet all of maybe twice in the entire series.

A killing herself was the major contributing factor to why B went off the rails and became a serial killer; he blamed L and Wammy's House for her death and wanted to prove that the institution created monsters.

Mello almost killed Near at least twice when they were kids and only didn't because Matt made him stop. Matt is the only person who can actually get Mello to chill, not even Roger can get him to back off when he's really pissed. But Matt's his little puppy and he loves him and will do anything for him lol

[truly-hopeless]

Hi! That's impressive list! Can I pick two? I couldn't decide only on one, lol. So... Love Notes and vampire!L the undying detective? ^^

Sure thing; you are the first person to send me a real ask (all other times it was a bot advertising an adult website) so I'm happy.

Love Notes is an AU where, instead of a Death Note, Light gets a notebook that allows him to make two (or more) people feel infatuation towards each other. And because Light is Light, who is a perfectionist and a closet hopeless romantic in this universe, he's not content to just put random people together for one date, uses the Love Note to send detailed instructions to one or more of the lovebirds in order to make sure the relationship lasts. This earns him the nickname Eros (after the Greek god of love) and there's a mix of people who are either happy he's around and hoping that he can help them in their love life or pissed that he's meddling instead of letting relationships succeed or fail on their own merits (with a few people just being bitter that Eros isn't helping them find a partner even though Light knows they're trash). And things only get more complicated when L announces that he plans to capture Eros and that he knows he's in Japan and Light notices that there is a marking on his wrist that Ryuk (who is an actual love god in this universe instead of a death god) tells him it is a soulmate marking that appears on human Love Note users and their intendeds when they "meet." I'm still in the prologue/first chapter (haven't updated this in a while since it's one of the ones in the Dropbox folder and I feel I can't be bothered to fully retrieve it), but I see parts of the plot playing out like the Eros/Psyche myth, specifically a falling out that happens between Light and L (after they've become close) when L finds proof Light is Eros while he's asleep, while not being a one-to-one retelling (there is no abduction/marriage plot from Light [keeping a partner in a lavish palace and visiting them at night with the lights out is more something L would be more likely to do than Light, let's be honest], there is no Aphrodite equivalent, and I don't see any of the Wammy House students [except maybe Beyond] trying to ruin L's chances at love like Psyche's sisters did to her).

The Undying Detective is a bit more complicated. I started it a little before the other Vampire!L AU because I knew that I wanted to write a fic where L was a vampire, but was still trying to figure out the how and the why and I ended up leaving it after sometime (haven't deleted it because there's always a chance I'll pick it up again, but I haven't added to it or changed it in about two years). I will share what I wrote and then also share what I wanted to happen but could not find the words to convey it:

"Please Ryuzaki," Light begged. "If you're right and the thirteen day rule is false, then Kira likely meant for you to figure it out to have you killed the moment you challenge it."

"How would Kira kill me, Light-kun? Kira does not have my name. Misa Amane has not been allowed back into headquarters since she left and the only ones allowed in here are members of the Task Force and you. Unless there's something you would like to tell me."

Light's heart broke. This again? After all this time? "The Shinigami Rem seems very protective of Misa and she has her own Death Note. The only reason I'm no longer handcuffed to you and Misa was allowed to leave was because that rule 'proved' our innocence. With Kira being active again and no other suspects, suspicion would fall back on us if the rule is proven false and you would likely execute us. Rem might kill you to try to prevent you from killing Misa. But of course," Light let out a bitter laugh, "you don't care about that as long you're able to 'prove' I'm Kira once and for all. Why do I even--?"

He suddenly slipped on a wet spot and fell to the concrete, his arm scraping painfully against the railing.

"You're bleeding."

"Oh, really? Thank you for pointing it out to me, I never would have known." Light hissed in pain as he touched his injury. There was a lot more blood than he was expecting and it almost made him sick.

"Sarcasm does not suit you." L held out his hand to Light and helped him up. "Come on, we've been out here long enough."

He helped Light dry off and he started treating the scraped area. His bony hands were surprisingly gentle as he disinfected the cut and wrapped a bandage around it.

"I just want to know the truth, Light." Light took note of the dropped honorific. "I no longer believe you're Kira, but I believe that you have been keeping secrets."

"Like what?"

"Such as how you know my real name."

Oh no. "What are you talking about? I don't--"

"Please don't lie to me. You said my name in your sleep the night before Higuchi was caught. You did not say 'L' or 'Ryuzaki.' You said 'Lawliet,' my last name. The only living people who know that name are me and Watari. How do you know it?"

Light sighed. He'd been dreading this moment, knowing that by telling L this he risked either getting committed or earning the detective's scorn and he didn't know which was worse. But if telling him the truth would prevent L from killing himself, it would be worth it.

After checking to make sure Rem was no where in earshot, he confessed, "For as long as I can remember, possibly the day I was born, I've been able to see a name and a number over people's heads. The names are the true names and the numbers are when they are going to die. I cannot see when I will die, but I can see when my family and friends will die and knowing that has made me feel so alone. I was unable to tell anyone about it because I knew I wouldn't be believed. The loneliness grew when Kira started killing, with people suddenly dying before their time and me becoming your prime suspect. There was a brief time where I thought that I found someone who understood what I was going through--"

"Misa Amane."

"Yes. She was like me, she could see the names and numbers as well and also lacked her own number. She approached me and told me she loved me and I believed her. But I soon learned that she loved Kira more and that she had only approached me in the first place because she thought I was him. And then you locked both of us up because you believed we were the first and second Kira and when I next saw her she was no longer like me and couldn't even remember why she started dating me, leaving me feeling alone once again.

"I at first resented you for this, for taking away my freedom and somehow making Misa and I no longer have anything in common, and the sixty days of solitary confinement and having my father pretend he was going to kill me certainly didn't help endear you to me. But the more time I spent with you as we looked Kira and the more I learned about you as you started to opening up to me, I became comfortable around you and I... I fell in love with you, L. But I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth before now because I was afraid. Afraid that it would serve as a confession to you that I was Kira and afraid that you would hate me for being so unnatural. But none of that matters now. You can arrest me and execute me if that will satisfy you. Just please do not throw your life away."

L was silent for a long moment after he tied off the bandage. He just stared at Light with those large dark eyes.

Finally, he said, "I appreciate your honesty and concern, Light. But I still need to test the rule. It's the only way the Task Force will understand and the only way to get closer to catching Kira. If you're not Kira and Amane-san has become Kira again, then she has to know by now who the original Kira is. We can try to make a deal with the Shinigami in order to learn his identity, but I doubt she will trust me. Promise me that you will make sure the rule is tested when I die."

"Don't talk like that! Like it's already too late!"

"It is. We will be parting ways very soon, I can feel it. But you have nothing to fear. I know that you can finish this case in my absence and if the Task Force refuses to cooperate, you'll have help from some friends of mine, friends that Kira does not know about. Will you promise to catch Kira when I'm gone?"

"I will."

L smiled. Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Light's. After a moment of hesitation, Light returned the kiss, his fingers tangling in the detective's hair as tears fell down his face.

---------

"Everyone, the Shinigami--!" L then clutched his chest as if in pain, the spoon he was using to stir his tea slipping from his other hand as he started falling.

Light ran forward and caught L and looked down at him.

No, please no! Not like this!

L squeezed Light's hand, a sad smile on his face as he saw the younger man's tears.

"Sorry...it had to...end...like this." It seemed to hurt for him to speak. His eyes began to close. "You're...not Kira. I wish I..."

His heart stopped beating and Light saw the name "L Lawliet" disappear along with the remaining years he should have lived.

From here, I had in mind that the other Task Force members start dropping dead too until only Light is left. Misa enters, as does Kira (Teru Mikami, because he's my usual go-to for an alternate Kira), and they give Light a choice: join them or die. Light is horrified, but is also pissed off and heartbroken that he lost his father, several of his friends, and the love of his life, and calls both of them out, daring them to kill him. One of them strikes him, causing Light to stumble and hit his head hard enough to draw blood. Several of the drops land on L and, without anyone noticing, seeps into his skin.

The last thing Light sees before he passes out, believing that he will die, is L standing up and preventing Mikami from writing his name down by breaking his wrist. When he wakes up again, L tells him that the Kiras are in custody and awaiting trial. While Light is glad that L is back, he's still grieving the deaths of the other Task Force members and is concerned that he can no longer see L's name at all and that neither of them know why that is, or why L is hungry/thirsty all the time no matter how much he eats.

The rest of the story would be them figuring out that L is a vampire and trying to navigate everything from there. I might come back to this someday, but I have too much going on at this time.

[thedetectivesystem]

Return to The Dark

M/M

Beyond Birthday/Near | Nate River Implied Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River

Summary: "L is a cut above the masses." Beyond finds himself entranced in a young boy who resembles all that he's ever mourned and needed.

Notes: Trans male Near !! and he’s in a dress. link to the fic on the ao3 platform is on the bottom please support us on there as well and leave a kudos ! ♡

"L is a cut above the masses."

Beyond ran his fingers up Nate's thighs, which had delicate, pale skin. The older man had given the boy a straightforward white knee-length dress for his birthday, which he wore tonight. Although Nate was perplexed by the unusual man's gesture, he appreciated it anyway. Nate knew so little about the man before him that Beyond made certain that Nate only understood that he had once been one of L's successors.

"You still don’t believe me, do you?" Beyond inquired in a low whisper.

"Such a thing could never exist," Nate said softly, his voice breathless and clearly aroused.

They were both lying on Nate's mentor's bed, and the smells of tea, coffee, and sugar enveloped the space. An unpleasant medley of smells, according to Beyond. The man had been monitoring the orphanage with microphone bugs and had learned about Nate's arrival in the area. Until he learned about the chat between Roger, Nate, Mihael, and L, there wasn't much to do for news on L. After Nate, Mihael would assist L on a case to showcase his abilities. However, he was far more interested in the number one successor.

"Then explain how I know your name," Beyond teased.

The simple answer would be his legal documents, but given Nate's gender identity, this would not be the case. Beyond noticed that his legal name did not match his genuine name, and he had been in contact with the boy without raising suspicion for some time. He crept into his room and watched him sleep, or they would converse if he was awake. Nate had a lot of questions, many of which Beyond only gave vague answers to. He couldn't help but perceive the younger one as a lost love. He was so much like him, so much like A.

"It’s not like I asked, Angel." Beyond’s hand paused at the waistband of Nate’s panties. "What logical solution is there, Nate?"

Nate looked up at the man who was hovering over him. His heart rate increased, and his body tightened with each touch since he was not used to this type of contact. When Beyond's fingertips slipped an inch beneath the waistband of his panties, his virgin body reacted instinctively, opening his legs subconsciously and gently. The boy's face flushed with embarrassment at the actions of his body. Beyond chuckled and leaned in closer, anticipating the response. Nate could feel the older man smell his neck and then nip it impatiently, prompting him to make a sound that sounded like a gasp and a whine together.

"You must’ve heard it when I told Roger," Nate answered.

"And how long ago was that, hm?"

Nate nibbled on the inside of his cheek. He'd told Roger his name and identity not long after he'd arrived at Wammy's house, continuously telling the man that he was a boy and that the name he was stating wasn't the one he was saying. He was much younger back then, and he wondered if Beyond would spend so long listening for an unattainable goal. Beyond's relationship with him felt much more entrenched in the type of trauma that L had caused. A trauma bond would not be the correct word to describe how he and Beyond came together; however, it is unusual for a 28-year-old guy to project his grief onto a newly 18-year-old boy with whom he was waiting to have sex.

"L is an illusion," Beyond started. "It's all an illusion; your life is dependent on him, on a man you've always despised but have accepted." His fingers slipped from Nate's panties, and his large hands hoisted Nate up before his fingers yanked on the dress's zipper. "If it all became too much for you, you could have died, and who knows who would have killed in your name after that?" Beyond mused. "Arms up, little one."

Nate reluctantly raised his arms. As he listened to and replayed Beyond's words in his brain, his mind flashed to an image of a memory of Mello. He was aware that his bond with Mello was much deeper than two rivals battling for L's spot; he never felt competitive, only lost in all of the loose threads of his connections with the people he cared about.

Beyond's voice interrupted Nate's thoughts, "Will you take me?" He breathed, "Out into the light?" He dropped Nate's dress on the floor, exposing the boy's body, although his most intimate part was still covered by his white panties.

Beyond's words made Nate raise his head slightly, but he didn't have much time to think about them as the man pushed him back down on his back against the bed. When he understood how susceptible he was to Beyond, heat surged to his cheeks, and his arms crossed against his chest as he felt flustered. This vulnerability was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Beyond hunched over and grabbed Nate's wrists, exposing his chest, before pinning them against the pillows. His face was inches from Nate's, and their bodies were pressing together.

"May I ask you a question this time?" Nate queried.

"Ask away, Angel."

"How did you get in here?"

"Explaining my ways may be for another time, darling." His broad hands released their hold on Nate's wrists, gliding down his thin arms before they traveled to his small breasts. Nate gasped at the sensations as Beyond softly grasped his left breast and gave him a firm neck kiss.

“Now.” Beyond reached down to touch Nate's panties waistband while looking the younger boy in the eyes, their foreheads pressed together.

"What are you waiting for?"

[pokefighter]

Thoughts and headcanons

I was lazy to type these at first despite it being in the back of my mind for months, but it’s nice to have a place to organize dumb thoughts. As I’m catching up on other anime like Yugioh, it’s kind of sad that Death Note in comparison doesn’t have much content in terms of world building, merchandise, or even showing what a character’s life is like outside of doing their job. In fact, some of their existence are treated solely as a plot device instead of a fleshed out compelling person. I know it’s mainly because DN’s writing is more story-driven than on characters, but it leaves me wanting to know more about them. 

Besides being highly fond of a few characters, admiring the animation’s cinematic visuals and how the style is a time capsule of early 2000 anime (muted color palette, gothic aesthetic, white gradient lighting) I’m not that invested with DN as a whole, the Yotsuba arc being the weakest with forgettable side villains (seriously, how often do you hear anyone mention the Yostuba members besides occasionally Higuchi?) and a section that dragged on longer than it should have. Rem being the one to kill L also ruined the point of this whole battle of wits DN was building up if Light can simply make a fucking shinigami do the work. It’s fine though, L’s passing means BEST BOY NEAR has now entered the picture.

Only Near can have soulless eyes and still be cutest thing alive. He actually fits well with the gothic visual design of DN in subtle ways- It’s those black eyes that stare right into your soul, his ghostly appearance, playing with creepy toys/finger puppets/L’s mask, and smiling like a psychopath out of nowhere in some scenes, hilariously contrasting his usual stoic demeanor. 

Onto headcanons:

Near

can be more sensitive than he lets on, he’s just good at hiding it. 

avoids eye contact unless it’s with someone he trusts.

enjoys visual stimulation such as the flickering of holiday lights, rain drops on a window, colorful contraptions performing in a loop or predictable pattern like a toy train driving in circles or a spinning windmill (I sketched something for this).

round pudgy Near >>>> generic skinny anime girl Near. I get why some imagine him skinny since he barely....moves. but a lil bit of chub fits his character design better. Plus there’s already plenty of skinny bitches in DN so it’s more fun to see some variety (long-haired Near is an exception bc he lost all his baby fat by then).

has a rather big capacity to hate or look down on someone, shown by his opinions on Kira, the president, Takada, etc. It’s visually amplified in the anime where he constantly looks like an angry kitten. 

smug brat

the giant common room at Wammy’s House is also Near’s playroom and there are days when everyone needs to clear out so he can play amongst 1000000000000000+ legos. 

his reaction came off as cold during the announcement of L’s death, but I imagine he didn’t exactly know how to express his grief at the moment. You even see a nonverbal display of his upset in canon when he spills his puzzle pieces on the floor. The first emotion he felt was anger towards L. The hero he respected was supposed to be unbeatable. L promised he’d win. It’s not until Near’s alone in his room that he breaks down. 

this one’s not a headcanon, but I love the fact that he's literally the only main character who survived. And on top of that, a breaker of the white-haired-anime-character-dies trope. What a king. Big win for autism. 

has extremely low pain tolerance. One little splinter to the finger and he’s done. 

Creepy nightmare fuel L is best L. 

L

can play the piano and sometimes does it during his Wammy House visits. 

has 0 interest in romantic relations. He doesn’t even express interest in making friends. He’s shown only ever focused on crime solving and is content with it. Other than that, I can only see him as a top. He’s prideful, hates losing any ounce of control, and isn’t the type to let his guard down.

L understands Near best. Everything about them looks like they’d be on the same wavelength. They can communicate and tell what the other’s thinking with a glance. No words needed.

so dependent on sweets that he can’t function without it, almost like an addict. If he doesn’t get his daily sugar, he becomes distressed and easily irritated.

Speaking of addiction, I doubt he’s the type to use drugs (though he certainly would have easy access), but maybe he’d save it for rare occasions when he needs to truly wind down and turn off his mind especially after an exhausting case.

is impatient and less cooperative when working with others as opposed to Near. (canon actually, just an observation.) 

like Near, L is also sensitive to noise and dislikes being around loud people/environments, but he’ll tolerate it if it’s necessary.

unlike Near, L has a much higher pain tolerance. He took a punch to the face several times and didn’t even flinch. If something did hurt, he’d under react simply saying: “ow.” with the same stoic face. 

Yeah I know that’s Misa’s eye but there’s no official anime screencap for B so fuck it that’s him with mascara. 

Beyond Birthday

if Another Note ever got an anime adaption, Akira Ishida would be the  ideal voice for B. Just listen to these clips. I can’t find anyone else more perfect for the role. A soft yet menacing tone, constantly scheming.

I know there’s BxL fanfics out there, but it’s hard to see B ever wanting him. If anything, I’m more convinced that B loathes L, what he represents, and how he’s idolized by the kids at Wammy’s House, you know, an institution that grooms orphans to become L’s successor.

B is also often depicted as a top but we all know he’s true bottom because what edgy tryhard says out loud: “I’m a top, an aggressive top (guys i swear i’m a top look at me lick this knife i’m so evil)” -B 

he’s a few years younger than L. 

was close friends with A. A’s death was the final straw that pushed B to leave Wammy’s House.

B is Californian, more specifically from L.A. What better location to scheme complex murders than in a place you’re well familiar with?  

he had eyebrows, but shaved them off for his L disguise. 

[litterateur97]

sorry to drop in your inbox like this lol, but considering that Coil's appearance is unknown, wouldn't it be hard for Kira to kill him? I think people would believe that the only person that could know it is L, since they go to him to try to get information about him (as if they have a close relation somehow). So, if Coil gets killed, it means that something also happened to L. Not necessarily that he died, but that maybe L decided to ally himself with Kira (to get rid of competition?), which would understandably ruin L's reputation. But this is just from outsiders' point of view, because Light and the task force know that L was them two, and if they want to perfectly hide that he died, they need to keep working as them to not raise any eyebrows. Coil and Deneuve were also as safety measures for L, to not get his identity revealed, and it's not like people stopped trying to get to L after he died and Light took his place.

This ask is a mess, but I would love to hear more from you - like, how would that work, if they just dropped them?

Hello, thank you for the ask!

That's all a really good point, I could see them needing to continue the facade to at least make sure no one was trying to uncover L's identity by hiring the two, but it also depends on how active L was as Coil and Deneuve.

We don't really know how often L accepted cases as them, so for them to disappear for long periods of time might be considered normal. We know the last time Coil was "active" was when Aiber was playing as him during the Yotsuba arc.

However, the task force would probably have needed to take on other cases to continue the facade of Coil and Deneuve. All we know by the start of the second arc is that Kira's word is almost law and the task force has gotten nowhere without L. It could be that they were continuing cases on the side, but I doubt it. Light has so much control over them by that point, I feel like all they did was work on the Kira case running around in circles.

So with that in mind, and with how much people had accepted Kira by then, people might think Coil and Deneuve had been murdered by Kira and just accepted it. They might not have even really questioned how it happened, just assuming Kira was all powerful. They were also only the second and third greatest detectives and by this point L, the greatest of them all, was even seen as incompetent. People might have just assumed they retired if it was seen as impossible to kill them. In fact, with what you said I actually think people probably did just assume they retired instead of died.

Another thing to consider is that Coil and Deneuve were real people before L took their codes, what were they doing during this time? Were they even still alive? Did they also get some kind of message from L telling them he died and take back their detective codes and do minor investigative work during the second arc?

Or, with Wammy's House being the only known place to receive the message that L was dead, did the Wammy kids take over the detective codes? I think in the one shot it was mentioned that Near still uses those codes, but I can't remember.

Sorry, I don't think I really answered anything and instead raised more questions lol!

[emojellyace08]

I just realized something about L's character and it may have changed my perspective on him

(DEATH NOTE SPOILERS) TW: slight mentions of death/self harm

Admit it or not, most of us got hooked to Death Note because of L's goofiness. And some of us hated Light because of his god complex. But none of us realized that L maybe just the same as Light.

Let me explain.

We all know that L's mostly emotionless all the time. Yes, there are times that he would show or at least try to act like a decent human being like calling Light as his "first friend" and pretending that he's one of Misa's fans when he first met her just to steal her phone for evidences about the Kira case.

And if you don't know. There's a canon (oneshot?/novel I don't really remember) about his successors. A, who ended his own life because of peer pressure and BB who became a serial killer to try to beat L and make his crimes "one of the most impossible cases to solve". But as we know BB failed at this and got caught at the end.

But I thought, why did BB did all of this? Well I think it's because of his abusive childhood at Wammy's House. We all know that intelligent children were taken care under Watari's roof for their potential to be L's successor. However, I just realized that children were forced to compete one another for success (that's why Mello has always hated Near). And even after A and BB's death none of this methods were changed for a safer and healthier environment for the children. Yes, no matter how smart they are they're still little kids who has very fragile minds that can be easily manipulated. Did L showed remorse for this? Did he asked Watari to change the rules inside Wammy's House? No.

And I feel like he just really doesn't care about using people as pawns just to finish the case. It's shown that when Light "thinks that he's Kira" he's not buying it. L was also willing to lock up Soichiro with his consent (Light's dad). And he locked up Misa Amane with a tray of chemicals, threatening her if she didn't speak up. He did all of this just for the case to be solved.

And I think that the whole "first friend" was just a lie (it's canon don't argue). L used this method to get a reaction out of Light and fall his guard off and maybe try to feel a little sympathy out of him. And the rain scene was also a trap (even though L knows that he's going to die anyways). He asked Light if he ever lied (not exact quote but you get my point) which Light answered in half-honesty like a psychopath which L expected since Light also wants to be thought and viewed as innocent.

Don't get me wrong, I love L. But we tend to forget that he's not a goofy and cute cinnamon roll that is often shown in the anime. He's still a genius who's willing to take risk and use anybody just to solve the last piece of the puzzle. Did L thought that what he's doing is somewhat wrong? Possibly. Yet he still chose to risk everything even his life to solve crimes. Versus Light. Even as a narcissistic, psychopathic teenager who has the Death Note thinking he's morally right and killed all criminals and somehow made crime rates go lower.

It changed my perspective of L as a character. It kind of turned me off to be honest (as a L simp), but it made me appreciate L's intelligence more and he's not just that cute character that we seem to love. For me he and Light were no different from one another. They're willing to use others to get important information in their cat and mouse game in their battle of wits and pride.

Yeah that's my little rant. What did you thought about L? Did this post changed your perspective on the greatest detective in the world?

[beyondthebackup]

Protégé

Disappointment.

Umbral knows what's waiting for him as he approaches the older boy strewn like a ragdoll across the wrought-iron bench.

Backup tutors Umbral a couple of times a week, testing him on various subjects and accounting for the gaps in his knowledge - a borderline unfair advantage for anyone serious about the succession. After all, B is the best.

Well, almost; he's the best to Umbral, anyway!

As a mentor, Backup is demanding in his standards, exacting in his methods, and unforgiving of mistakes. Umbral knows weaker sorts couldn't handle it, but B told him that he is special, and if he's willing to do whatever it takes to win he can be the best, too.

B realizes Wammy's House is producing 'Backups' in perpetuity, that this batch of younger children will eventually become the replacements that he and A are for L. He can't leave them to their own devices. If he doesn't seize control of his future successor, they will become cancerous, growing and plotting in the dark halls of this place, waiting for their chance to kill him.

Backup is grooming Umbral to become that future successor.

Umbral trusts B like a big brother, and looks up to him like an idol. So when he tells him to meet him at the crack of dawn and run laps around the orphanage until his lungs explode, he does.

Backup always says that A's weak constitution will eventually fail him, and to avoid that same fate, Umbral must push past every limit and never rest.

Every part of him is burning, each time his feet hit the ground his muscles protest in screeching agony and his legs threaten to become liquid and dissolve. Umbral doesn't have any idea how he completes the lap, but that's when his body finally gives out underneath him and he collapses into a mouthful of grass and dirt.

Umbral gasps for air like a goldfish plucked out of its bowl and loses that same air in a coughing fit seconds later; his eyelashes bat away sweat and tears to focus on the sight of Backup glancing away from the stopwatch nestled between the open pages of a book to regard him with disgust.

"What are you doing? Get up. You have another lap left."

It takes a few more moments of panting before Umbral can wail out a response.

"I...I can't...!"

"You can't?" B stands and saunters over to his underclassman's hunched form. Umbral finds it difficult sometimes to tell whether B is surprised or angry. Before things get worse, they sound about the same. "Or you won't...?"

"Can't!!"

"Oh, well... if you can't, then that's even worse," B grins emptily. "That means this is the best you can do, and this is pathetic!"

B kicks Umbral directly in the stomach, and stands back to watch as he cries out and writhes in pain.

"Do you think it's enough to do well on exams? If you're weak in any area the other kids will eat you alive. All of them are just waiting for you to fuck up so they can stab you in the back. You have to be able to go farther and work harder and suffer more than all of them so that they can't defeat you. Do you understand what I'm telling you? This is nothing!"

Umbral would respond if he could, but he can do nothing but cry and try his hardest not to vomit.

B watches him, unmoving. A statue of apathy and disdain.

"I think I was wrong about you. You're a waste of my time. As if I don't have better things to do than watch you fail."

After a few more moments of basking remorselessly in Umbral's punishment, B lets out a bored sigh, retrieves Childhood Trauma & Conditioning from the bench and decides to return to his room.

Umbral sees Backup walk away, and overcome with panic, shouts after him.

"I'll do better!"

B doesn't look back.

---

Umbral ends his run doubled over, hands on his knees and wheezing for breath. Everything still hurts but he's standing, the world is spinning but he won't fall. He trained for weeks. He's faster and he's stronger than he used to be. He made sure of it.

Through his blond curtain he sees B's shadow come over him like a dark cloud, but Umbral doesn't look away. This time, there's a bright smile on Backup's face, warm as a summer afternoon. Relief and elation wash over him and it gives him the strength to stand up straight.

"You beat your record. Well done, Umbral. I knew you could do it,"

B reaches out and rests his hand on Umbral's head, raking through his hair with a few affectionate strokes.

With red face and faraway eyes, Umbral cannot and does not hide how good it feels to finally be rewarded.

"Thank you."

[rnisa]

Beyond Birthday Headcanons

Hi all, just some little Headcanons. Some are general HCs, other are x reader. As much as I love DN, there are too many empty gaps that just weren't filled, leaving so many questions unanswered. These are personal headcanons, you don't have to like them or agree with any - it's purely for my own enjoyment. NOTHING here is factual.

★BB left Wammy's when he was roughly 18. Up until then, he acted as a big brother figure for most of the children. Many looked at him as such, but he was quickly forgotten any time L was brought into the picture.

★ An obvious one, but A's sui'cide hurt him deeply. I don't think BB ever really liked being at Wammy's in the first place. He stayed as long as he did because it provided him certain comforts such as shelter and access to information, food, etc. Basically, it was just easier, and he stayed until he aged out of it. But he never liked the concept of being raised to succeed L. He hated what it did to A. However, he figured as long as he's there, he mind as well make the most of it - explaining the "taking L to the extreme" thing.

★ To add to the above, A's death was the final tipping point, what made him snap. He saw Wammy's as a sick institution rather than a goal.

★At a young age as a kid, he made comments, alluding to him having the Shinigami eyes. Of course he didn't have a name for what he was experiencing, but he asked about, "those numbers floating over your head". I think many adults passed it off as his imagination, but many of the other children found him creepy. Eventually, he stopped bringing it up once he caught on that it wasn't normal. Pretty sure he figured out what his eyes did when he lost both of his parents. He swore he would never love anyone as much as he loved them.

★ I do believe that BB was wrongfully medicated at some points in his life (given medication for things he didn't have, etc.) not out of malice intentionally, just...wrong diagnosis and negligence.

★ I think BB could have been saved. I am deliberately going against the canon here but, I honestly disagree with the ending that, "he was arrested and got killed by Kira in prison". Maybe it's wishful thinking but I could see L taking pity on him, and at least getting him help, hope for reforming him. Perhaps just as he's making significant process, he gets shanked by Kira, but still...I don't think L would have simply thrown his ass in jail and be done with it. Personally, I think L does feel sorrow over A's sui'cide, and is horrified at what BB became. L blames himself in a way. L wanted to save him.

★ ..Then again B could have just gone, "fuck your help I'd rather be in prison and rot," ...

★ After Wammy's house, we know he ends up in America somehow, and L was searching for him. He can't have been much younger than L. I refuse to believe they never...met? I think they did meet at a certain point, perhaps when they were very very small. B's imitation is based on what he thinks L would have grown as into adulthood - to the extreme, of course.

★ I don't think he was ever the type to harm other or animals as a child, but I do think he had a knack for starting fires and causing general mischief. It was always well thought-out, carefully planned mischief, that was the main cause for worry. He loved watching gruesome slasher and horror films way too young and was very desensitized very early on.

★ Didn't have a really healthy upbringing. I feel that he was close with one of his parents and they did their best but had a multitude of issues and were ultimately unequipped to raise a child. Love isn't enough when you're raising a whole person.

★ I think he could fall in love easily, but he himself thinks he is incapable of loving. He cannot imagine anyone possibly loving him, I think. At least romantically. He has his situation and his grand plan thought out too well and meticulously to really consider it, but I think he would love to flirt (poorly) and toy with people teasingly because he's turned on when people find him disgusting, or off-putting. I think someone reciprocating his advances would throw him off in a really funny way, but he's great at improv so he'll manage. Just a lot of tension building up until something happens.

★ This might sound weird but I can see him (coincidentally and unwillingly) falling for someone who was destined to die shortly after his sui'cide attempt. Oh god that's even worse imagine his heartbreak when he survives/is caught by Naomi and then his S/O dies not too long after. Oof.

★ His love is a bit obsessive but I can't see him...hurting someone he truly loves. Physically.

Feel free to ask for more...but this is long enough? If you agree or disagree with anything feel free to add on!

[xrphansrevival]

Obelus does not live at Wammy's House, but a flat nearby, expense covered by Wammy's. As a professor and an alumni, he needs to stay close. He suspects that Wammy's keeps a special eye on him, in the even that Backup might return one day. Who other than his best friend would keep him in hiding? When there's a knock on his door, he assumes it's a delivery or something of that nature.

It's Quix. One of his students.

The situation is a little absurd, but it's also very unnerving. Obelus had pulled Quix aside to scold him for acting out during class. Before Quix left the room, he straightened Obelus' collar, scolding him for being an unkempt professor. That's the only time he had the chance to plant the tracker.

Obelus pulls it from his collar, immediately catching on to what happened. It's simple. Quix had to stay in range. The first of a few they teach in that one espionage class. B was quick to make these, too, but liked his own creations better.

Quix holds out his hand expectantly. They both know Quix will simply build another if Obelus breaks it. Obe forks it over, leering down at him.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Well, are you going to give me the tour or what?"

Obelus glances around. "Fine."

Quix takes a quick look at the messy area and decides to keep his shoes on. Obelus rolls his eyes.

"Do they pay for this? Or do you make enough money as a professor?"

Obe doesn't answer. Wammy's indeed pays for his flat, but there's no need for some nosy brat to get any information from him. Giving Quix anything will just make him more annoying.

"You really must be an alcoholic-"

"What do you want, Quix?"

Quix stops. He spies the picture of Obe and the boy who could only be B, based on drawings Meden has made.

"You don't like it here. Why stay?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go."

"There's a whole world out there."

Obelus crosses his arms. Quix plops down on the surprisingly comfy couch. He kicks an empty bottle away.

"I still have business here."

"You waiting on B?"

"…What?"

"Are you waiting on B? To come back?"

"He's probably…" Obelus doesn't want to think about B being dead. "…never coming back. Why would he? And why would he ever want to come back to me? I was the third place loser following him around."

Quix laughs. "I'd go back to Wight. If I can't trust my best friend, what's the point?"

"You're not here for me."

"Yeah," Quix props his feet up on the little table. "Tell me about B."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You're asking for trouble."

"Oh, boo. Don't be like Yoriko. I'm a big boy now."

Obelus shakes his head. "Why do you want to know?"

"It's history. He's one of my predecessors… I'd also like to know more about A. Did he really kill himself?"

[Obelus has a brief flashback to After slitting open his arm in the middle of class. After did it of his own volition, Obelus and B could only watch in shock and horror.]

Obelus takes a second to snap back to reality. The blood is not on him today. It hasn't been for years.

"Get out. Go home."

"You're no fun today." Quix huffs, pushing up from the couch. "I'll be back. Next time, relax! Why not have another drink, loser?"

"I said get out!"

Quix scrams, snickering to himself. Obelus slams the door behind him. He's going to give Quix extra homework for a while.

[cherrygirl-28]

do you have headcanons for the other Wammy boys? You made one about L so... Just wondering

Hello, Anon. Yes I have some general headcanons for our boys. Well… Kind of. 😆

Headcanons for L can be found: Here

Mello

• As a child he had gone through intense adolescence with him often having rebellious phases. Proof that he left the orphanage at 15.

• He swears a lot. Even if he isn't angry the offence comes out spontaneously.

• He's half English and German. His father was English and his mother was German. Just like L, he doesn't really remember them, neither knows if they're alive or dead.

• His parents were killed in a car accident when he was just 13 months old.

• He had met L during their stay at Wammy's house since they were 10 years apart. His first memories with L began when he was 4 to 5 years old when he would see him working on his computer. He wanted to approach him, as everyone said he's the most genius kid, but he was kind of shy. He finally approached him one day when he was taking a break, and since Mello was a little kid back then asked him: "Hello. Wanna be friends?" L certainly didn't know how to respond to an infant, so he just said: "sure".

• At first he liked Near. (When Near was a baby Mello was like 2 years old.) They played together with some toy cars Mello had brought him, and despite the animosity between them later, Near still likes the car toys he had brought him.

• They've been friends with Matt for a long time. Mello met him in second grade when Matt was in first.

• He prefers dark chocolate rather than milk, as he doesn't like much sweet tastes.

• He used to play basketball when he was in middle school.

-------

Near

• He's the only child in the group who's purely English. Both of his parents were English. Speaking of which, neither of them wanted to make a family, as he's a result of rape. His mother struggled a lot during pregnancy, and she seriously considered abortion, but finally due to social pressure, decided to give birth to him.

• Unlike L, Near likes vegetables and rarely eats anything sweet or something not so healthy. He mainly prefers broccoli and potato salad.

• At school, math and physics were his favourite subjects. He can easily solve math problems unless it's not geometry.

• He's a fudanshi* (for some reason I can see him be one XD)

*Fudanshi is a Japanese slang word. There's no corresponding English translation, but it describes a man who becomes sexually aroused when he sees two lesbians hugging. The equivalent for women is fujoshi.

• Sometimes he would secretly write various stories about each girl in the orphanage, being in a relationship with each other. Sort of… Fanfiction.🤣

• He was teased by some kids at school, although it wasn't precisely bullying. The toughest bullying he got was from Mello when their rivalry began.

• Just like L, he isn't really sociable. In fact, he's shy.

• He didn't really like sports. The only sport he was involved in at school was karate as he was interested in Japanese culture.

------

Matt

• I don't really have anything to say about Matt, other than the fact he may be addicted to video games. He may not even leave his room for three days.

• He's the only boy in the group who doesn't have direct memories with L. He just knows his existence.

• He often climbed with Mello on the trees to throw the bird's nest.

• He has a lot in common with his best friend, except that Mello doesn't really like playing video games, and Matt prefers football.

------

B

• Although unusual for gods, B is kind of a demigod. His mother is a human and his father a shinigami, who despite the rule of shinigami not falling in love with humans, he did. Although their love was forbidden mostly to the gods, they had a child in secret. The shinigami turned into dust after breaking the rule, and the woman fearing people's comments, left the child in a basket outside the orphanage.

• He hung out with A a lot until at some point he started having a crush on her. Although it's not mentioned in the manga or book, we don't know if A is actually a boy or a girl.

• His birthday is on April 4th 1985.

• His real name is Basil Jackson.

• He had tried to approach L and hang out with him, but even though L didn't really want to have friends, B kept being friendly and talking to him at school.

• His hair used to be the same colour, but in a long length. He often braided it so he wouldn't be mixed up with L. After he caused the murders in the Los Angeles case, he cut it on his own. After all, it was beneficial to him.

-----

I know, I don't have any special ideas but I tried my best to capture them in English since it's not my first language.

[fairweather-fangs]

19, 24

(=ooc, obviously=)

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

F tends not to get med often, so usually if he's upset it's over something big. F doesn't like to blow up and yell and make a scene, no, he's sneaky. If someone pisses him off they need be prepared for all their suffering to be done in private. His typical revenge scemes usually involve poisoning seeing as he has alot of those at his disposal and a poisoning can be passed off in a number of people. If someone make him really mad he'll probably wait until he's on a mission with them... in which case... they better hope all he dose is hit them with whatever weapon he's carrying because at least they'll be at his mercy, otherwise they should pray that whatever dangers one could expect to see on a mission don't claim them with their partner actively working against him.

It's risky but he gets away with it. The staff rarely suspect him of foul play ang god knows what he'd do to someone who snitches on him.

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Before F was in Wammys, he was in Foster care. He had alot of different families so there was alot of times things could have gone differently. For the most part, I think if his life went smoothly and he didn't loose a good portion of his foster parents to assorted incidents, then he probably woukd have attended school normally and probably gone into meteorology, seeing as he had a passion for the weather and climate. But that’s boring so we'll talk about things could have gone really bad (as opposed to his current life which is regular bad.)

One of F's last foster homes was a drug cartel using the foster system to get kids in order to make them run drugs for them. Aside from the drug trafficking, the kids were very well taken care of and given food, their own rooms, toys and advanced home schooling (of course, all of this was to ensure the sytem let them keep all the kids and allowed them to adopt more if they needed) F considered it to be one of his best foster home experiences and quite frankly wishes he could go back.

As a very intelligent child he quickly caught on to the inner workings of the drug trade and ahen he was sent to Wammys, he used his knowledge of drug trafficking to befriend a few okder kids who were the current Wammys House drug dealers. Years later of desperation for extra money, friends and a way to numb his own pain, F is the premier drug dealer of Wammys House.

Now, his days working for drug dealers was cut short as a child after the people runnibg the operation were killed by a rival gang and F was taken back into foster care. The difference here comes with the death of his drug dealing foster parents. Had they not died, it's safe to say F would have wanted to stay with them and eventually become a much more important gang leader. Judging by how a lofe of crime pays off for everyone in the Death Note world by late 2003, I imagine this route involves F having some heart complications later in life (That’s death by notebook if you couldn't tell)

Now had his drug family still died and he choose to retreat into the underworld to continue running drugs, things would definitely be darker. I can't say what exactly would hapoen to him, maybe he'd have to make it on his own, maybe he'd get picked up along they way by someone kind enough to take care of him, maybe whoever finds him wouldn't be so kind. Either way, he still has drug dealing in his future. One the timeline where he has to make it on his own though, I don't see him retaining his mellow, more kind personality and being much more aggressive and cruel. Similar to himself now but only under certain circumstances. Either way, unless he masterminds himself into never beung caught, I still see him being killed by Kira at some point in the future.