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#it super fucked her up mentally
ow1et · 6 months
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literally if owlet is being a pest all you have to do is throw her in the closest body of water and she'll sink like a rock.
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hoshizoralone · 3 months
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reflection
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Rem Saverem was a real one. Imagine being like between 28 and 30 and witnessing your crewmates torture a little girl to death, unable to stop them or rescue her. She’s not human but she looks and acts like a suffering child. She dies, horrifically and incompletely (frozen, status: alive). Your crewmates aren’t done with her even when she’s in pieces, and they put her in a jar to save for later. You keep her resting place clean and leave her flowers, knowing she never once got to see the miraculous geo-dome where you grow those flowers. Her siblings(?) or aunts(?) or mothers(?) support that geo-dome, each in a jar of their own, a torture and exploitation even slower than hers. You’re giving her little bits of them, but there’s nothing on the ship that isn’t created or maintained by slavery. There is no viable alternative you can come up with that doesn’t involve an overhaul of everything currently keeping humanity alive in suspended animation without waking up everyone and having a UN-floor-style shitshow of a discussion. You’re not an ethicist or a politician or even a community leader or systems engineer. You’re a navigator with a good head on your shoulders and an unequivocal stance on torturing children: it’s the worst kind of wrong. You don’t really know enough about Plants to understand what the alternatives to their exploitation are, if there are any. You just know it’s wrong, and the complicity eats at your bones and at your sanity via your conscience. How did you ever think that this expedition was the best use of your blank ticket? What would Alex say? (He would hold you and remind you that you are one human woman, and that you protested as much as you could, made your moral stand as best you could, and pushing harder might have resulted in your enforced return to cryo-sleep until the ships reached their destination, and then who would leave the poor child flowers? Who would think of her kindly? Who would be awake instead of you now, continuing to ruin her even after death?)
Then, the universe coughs up two more Independent Plants, and you know exactly why you’re on this expedition and how to make the best possible use of your blank ticket. Never again. You name the children, you treat them like people, you love them - and you’re barely 30 and traumatized as hell and you know you’re fucking things up, but there’s no one else and you cannot allow there to be anyone else, or everything goes back to square one and the twins go to the dissection table. You hide them in plain sight. They love you. You’re happier for their company, less lonely, and you never expected to have children. (You were planning, with Alex. If those plans had worked out, you would not be here to do your flawed best for these twins.) They are so smart, and you cannot bring yourself to tell them anything about the girl who came before them. You can barely put that experience into words for yourself, much less communicate the scope of it to two children. (They are so smart, growing inhumanly fast, and they are still less than a year old. You really should have fucking tried anyway.)
They discover their sister. They’re about one year old, and they fall away from you and from each other and from hope. One-year-olds shouldn’t be actively suicidal. You feel just like you did when you dragged yourself back to your room after screaming at your crewmates decades ago. You still think it was pure cowardice that you volunteered to go back into cryo-sleep so you could wake up years later and avoid spending time with mutilators and murderers. If you checked out, chose to sleep, volunteered for a solo navigation shift, how could you blame Knives for pushing everything down and ignoring it? After your own sick depression, feeling so powerless, how could you blame Vash for wanting to be done with everything?
But they’re barely over a year old. All you really know is that dead people don’t get to make decisions for themselves, death is the end of change for a person. (Alex will always be 27, love you more than anything, and will never meet the children who have become your family.) Things don’t get better for dead people. You want so, so much for things to get better for the twins.
One of them kills you, driving everything into the ground, humanity and Plants alike, because living means change means uncertainty means fear, and he is so afraid and humanity taught him his life was cheap, so why should he value theirs? The other plays the letter but not the spirit of your hopes; he lives for other people and never for himself, internalizes your insistence on the value of life and pays flesh by the pound to preserve it. He won’t follow you into death because your purchased his life (and so many other lives) with yours (he won’t squander that), but in a way he will never forgive you for choosing to die for others, and he’ll take that anger out on himself. You save lives and you doom Plants and you doom humanity trying to save humanity and Plants from their doom. Everyone’s on a rock again, back to where it all started on an inhospitable world, just a new one. But you kept things from ending. It all could have ended.
And you were like 30 and clinging to an imperfect but determined philosophy that kept you from flinging yourself into the grave after Alex, and you weren’t a mother or an educator or a spiritual guide or even particularly suited to raise children, and you fucked these kids up irreparably, but you were all they had and you were better than anyone who would have made them into tissue samples. You tried so hard, and both twins will carry you like a millstone and like a talisman for the rest of their very, very long lives.
And you named one of them Knives. What the fuck, Rem. Knives??
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anxiously-sidequesting · 10 months
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This blog is my house so I can say basically whatever I want but I know I have some esteemed guests and friends who come over a lot and some lurkers who peer into the windows so all my wildest ass wizard shit stays in the locked basement where it belongs because it's common courtesy 💖
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azurescaled · 5 months
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Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been here, but when I say that the last while has been rough? It's been fuckin' ROUGH.
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twinstxrs · 9 months
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i don’t NEED art of gorgug’s bio parents however i do desperately want evidence to back up my claim that gorgug’s bio mom is hot
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eonars · 4 months
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um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing
#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school.#what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this#when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it#tbf like all that other shit up there aside#this did actually come at the perfect time#i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person#i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was#in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while#kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before#and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters#even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity#and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell#so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone#and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore#im the most ready ive ever been#2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit!#im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement#entirely on my own#like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog#i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then#im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now#anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself#but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years#became a stable genius as it were#whos a lot more clearly defined and present#but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid
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babisawyer · 5 months
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I got home yesterday and cut most of my hair off within like ten minutes of being home.
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nerosdayinanime · 1 year
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Nezuko centric au where Tanjiro's killed during the Mugen Train mission- Giyuu becomes her caretaker and trains her Inosuke & Zenitsu instead of letting them fumble along
#this is one of my older aus but i never did anything w it lmao#enmu wasnt killed as early as he was so when akaza showed up he didnt have enough time to kill kyojuro#tanjiro probably dies trying to kill enmu. nezuko focuses on him and didnt pay attention to the upper moon showing up. just#reliving the moment she lost almost everything- now its really all gone. nothing left but shut off memories of the good and the tainted#memories of the *worst*#giyus fucked up losing yet another person he cares about and finally stops being passive-#it hurts all the same. so why not go in head first?#he trains nezuko how to use breath of water (that she adapts with her demon blood art & afterlife tanjiro/tanjuro/yoriichi guide her)#he also trains zenitsu & inosuke since they wont leave her or tanjiro's memory behind#canon events slow down at this point because kagaya's on guard about tanjiro's loss and they arent down a pillar#kyojuro also vouches for nezuko bc he saw her first hand defending people before she got... sidetracked...#maybe something about losing tanjiro finally makes the cage around her mind snap to reality and she regains her senses a bit faster#i imagine she'd have moments where she sleeps for long periods of time & sometimes is super spacy and unaware/childlike#she doesnt go on normal slayer missions all the time like she did with tanjiro though#so she has a lot more time to physically & mentally fortify#im roping genya into this somehow hes babey and im NOT leaving him out.#inosuke drags him kicking and screaming because hes also got demon-like abilities and thats good to know about right??#giyuu keeps him because 1 more the merrier 2 he can hone his demonic abilities safely w nezkuo 3 it pisses sanemi off#genyas still mostly with gyomei because hes got the physical strength and alternate weapon style which is always good but giyuu actually#keeps in touch about genya- well. tries to as much as he can with kanzaburo mixing up his letters.#maybe matsuemon takes over as nezuko's crow instead & kinda steps in for stuff relating to nezuko- ie news abt demon boy#loserboy giyuu posting#kamado nezuko#kny au#nezukos revenge au#i mention it now bc i wanna draw the little scene i have of her and giyuu chilling in their grief
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moongothic · 9 months
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Hey anon, I'm so sorry but your ask is obscenely long so I'm cutting it down to bare essentials
Most of the Original Ask was just a copypaste of this forum post, quickly highlighting this comment too
LOOK WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT MORIA, YO! "Defeated by Gellard and returns in the Final Scenario with an even more grotesque appearance than when you first met him."
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But yes, I am aware, I have read that exact same thread before (when I first learned about the Romancing SaGa inspo on r/OnePiece and wanted to learn more), and I did briefly discuss the Seven Heroes when speculating about Cross Guild and wherever the fuck that plotline is going
And I'm now going to add onto that original post, because boy howdy do I have some additional thoughts to get out of my brain
Okay so yes, Doflamingo would be the OG Iteration of Bokuohn, the puppeteer who manipulates people. But in the context of Cross Guild... That's Buggy. "Bokuohn is in control of the majority of the Seven Heroes' forces. Situated in the Steppes region, he owns a large landship, complete with an innumerable amount of slaves." That's literally just Buggy. Like he's not a master of psychological manipulation nor can he forcefully manipulate anybody like literal puppets either (the way Mingo could), but. Like scratch out he RoSa2 terms, replace them with the relevant OP terms and it's a perfect description of Buggy.
Bringing that up because I'm still interested in Cross Guild becoming Shichibukai 2.0 But Without The Government This Time, but if we wanted to have exactly seven former Shichibukai to make up Cross Guild and make sure we had like ones who could actually fill out the roles of the Seven Heroes from RoSa2... Yeah there's going to have to be some replacements Not just because otherwise Doflamingo would need to be broken out of Impel Down somehow (which I doubt will happen, also I don't think Crocodile would want him working for him anyways), but also. Jinbei's with the Strawhats. And I don't think he's ditching Luffy any time soon for Crocodile of all people, not when he finally fucking joined the Strawhats for realsies.
So Doflamingo could be replaced with Buggy, cool, sure. What about Jinbei then? Who will take up the role of RoSa2's Subier?
So a while back I wrote this speculation post about if the Burn Scar Man (who has the final Road Poneglyph) could be a Fishman.(PERHAPS specifically Davy Jones?) Bringing that up because during Kuma's flashback we did learn that Kuma got the Shichibukai Slot after Ace defeated one of the seven at the time. And we specifically got to see Ace talk to Jinbei about it, Ace being surprised Jinbei of all people was glad the Shichibukai slot was being filled again. Now obviously, our Firefist Ace defeating a Shichibukai makes for one great candidate on who the Burn Scar Man could be, as Ace could very easily leave someone with some severe burn scars. This is platantly obvious lmao. But it's the conversation with Jinbei that actually interests me, because like. Sure, Jinbei being a fellow Shichibukai, it might be odd for Ace to hear Jinbei be glad that one of his fellow Warlords is being replaced. But that comment could make twice as much sense if that Warlord had ALSO been a fellow Fishman and/or a Merman (and perhaps someone Jinbei might've known better?). Now indeed. We are going to meet the Burn Scar Man eventually, 100%, it's mandatory for the plot to move forwards. Which means we're going to find out who that guy is, and if the Road Poneglyph gets stolen from him, he might have to find something else to do with his life since there won't be any point in guarding it anymore. And hey. If Mr Burns does turn out to be a fellow former Shichibukai who also happens to be a Fishman/Merman and a master of Fishman Karate... Oh hey, what's this? "Subier - A half octopus merman who controls the flow of the ocean to use as a weapon." Like. IDK I think we could have another Cross Guild member on our hands here.
(Honestly, currently the only problem we have is Dantarg, whose role currently being held by Kuma. Like the only other known Shichibukai we have who could be "available" is Law but he hasn't really done any "bodymods to become stronger" and thus doesn't fit the description. Hell, that description fits Kid more than anything but he was never a Shichibukai either. Guess we gotta keep on hoping Kuma somehow survives and just doesn't return to the Revolutionary Army for some reason)
Hilariously the most interesting thing you pointed out was that comment in the forum thread about Moria, 'cause I hadn't even realized this before but
So we know Blackbeard had captured Moria and held him hostage for... weeks, months? Until he was freed by Coby as per Perona's plea during the raid on Fullalead. Interestingly though, although theoretically we know Moria and Perona should have escaped the island by now, we have not seen either, now have we? Which is kind of suspicious now that I think about it. Because like. It'd make perfect sense if Blackbeard and co had been torturing Moria during his time in captivity, right. Have they been feeding my beloved goth onion well? Realistically, probably not?
Like. Thinking about it. We know Moria got chumby after the trauma of losing his crew and all, so what are the odds he might have lost that weight now during his captivity??? What if he looks more like his younger self again, the one see clash with Kaidou??? Or, the more horrifying option. I mean zombies aren't like an inherent part of Moria's DF abilities, just the Shadow Manipulation. But for all we know Moria could have lost a limb or two, and depending on where the fuck Hogback is (dude is supposed to be a competent doctor, he should be able to stitch Moria back up)... I mean theoretically the next time we see Moria he could look like one of his zombies. Or worse.
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peachlit · 27 days
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can’t wait for the day i can get away from my parents
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rosicheeks · 2 months
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I think I was in love with you.
lol no you weren’t
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fingertipsmp3 · 5 months
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Should I end my tolerance break tonight or should I continue and see how long this can go on for
#full disclosure it’s only been two days#i’ll be honest kitten; daddy might have a fucking problem#look it’s not even… weed is not addictive. obviously#BUT i am not in the greatest mental state right now. i am not exactly a shining example of perfect mental health#i’m a 28 year old loser who peaked in undergrad and is a self employed freelancer BUT is too lazy to make decent money freelancing#i really need a manager breathing down my neck to get me to do the bare minimum or more consistently#i’m also super not doing well regarding 1) my dad’s deathiversary 2) my ongoing grief over mabel (yes she was a dog but if you say she was#‘just a dog’ i will come to your house and throw up in your walls DON’T DO IT. DON’T TRY IT. I LOVED HER)#and also just. the crushing weight of it all.#if i have edibles i don’t have to think about the fact i thought i’d either be dead or successful by now and instead i’m alive and mediocre#am i really supposed to freeball THIS reality. THIS ONE???#but then it’s like it creates a vicious cycle because is the weed making me unproductive or do i want the weed BECAUSE i’m unproductive#and it helps me forget that i’m a complete and utter loser. 🧐#listen i’ve gotten less done during this tolerance break than i did last week when i pretty much had a weed gummy every night#i’m not saying there’s a correlation but what i AM saying is it’s suspicious#i could continue the break until the weekend. that seems like the best plan#personal
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A couple months ago I had this situationship with a guy and he told me he was just so angry all the time for no real reason and back then I couldn’t understand why but I get it now
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Them: Zuko was abused, but Azula was Ozai's favorite.
Me:
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queerstudiesnatural · 2 years
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still upset by my therapist strongly implying that autism's biggest telltale is lack of empathy/understanding of others. not only is that factually untrue, but my problem is literally the opposite. i have too much empathy, i notice too much, i feel too much. no i don't have a problem "reading between the lines" or "inferring people's intentions" i never stop reading between the lines and inferring people's intentions. think will graham but without the murders.
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