mightymeatysteroidpenis-blog

[likeumeanit9497]

the re-do | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: y/n participates in the triplets' "dirty q&a" video, where she accidentally infers that her experience losing her virginity to matt back in high school had been mediocre. instead of taking offence, matt makes it his mission to show her just how much he has improved since then.

warnings: SMUT; established friendship; m/f oral; unprotected p in v; dirty talk; 18+

notes: hi guys! this is my first ever one shot so pls be gentle with me (i'm genuinely so terrified to post this). it has absolutely NOT been proof read forgive me, but i hope you all enjoy <333

“Guys why am I actually nervous to film this?” Nick proclaimed from his place in the backseat of the car beside me. “No I am genuinely so scared right now.” Replied Chris from the seat in front of me as he began passing out our respective orders from McDonalds.

“We can’t act nervous or else the fans are gonna go even crazier than they already will.” Added Nick as Matt adjusted the camera on the dash. “You’re sure you’re gonna be able to handle the inevitable shit talking that’s gonna come from all this?” Matt asked as he turned to face me in the back. I took a deep breath but nodded. “The more they see me the more desensitized they’ll be. They’ll have to eventually get over it.”

As one of the triplet’s closest girl friends, I had been on the receiving end of a fair amount of hate from their fangirls on the internet. Because I had known them since elementary school, I had been a part of many of their earlier videos when their fans had still been pretty chill about our friendship. But over the past year, a new wave of younger fans had found the videos and had made it their life mission to publicly bash me any chance that they could. It became too much when, a few months ago, one of them decided to spread a rumour that Chris and I had slept together based on nothing other than strategically edited clips of us smiling at each other. It was then that the guys and I had made the decision to keep me as out of the public eye as possible.

However, the guys had sat me down last week to explain how fed up they were with how restricted they felt they had been in their content. They wanted to make an attempt at reclaiming a fandom built primarily of viewers closer to our age, and they thought that the best way to try that was to ignore the petty complaints and make content that they wanted to make. So, since I had been staying with them in Los Angeles for the month, I had agreed to not only be in one of their regular videos, but I had agreed to be in their ‘dirty q&a’ video. I couldn’t lie, I was a bit nervous, but mostly I was excited that my friends were finally confident enough to make videos with more extreme topics.

“Alright guys, ya’ll ready?” Chris asked, intaking a sharp breath while his hand hovered over the record button on the camera. We all responded with a falsely enthusiastic “ready!”, and the camera was turned on.

“Alright, first question,” Nick began after his long-winded introduction filled with disclaimers and explanations for their change in content. “How many people have you slept with?” Already with the first question, it was obvious that the guys were tentative about answering. “Bro I don’t know, next question.” Chris responded, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “What do you mean by ‘I don’t know’ Chris?” Asked Matt tauntingly. “I mean I haven’t fucking kept track of everyone I’ve slept with.” He responded bluntly, before realizing how bad that had sounded. We all, however, erupted into laughter immediately. “Okay okay it’s not that bad guys I swear, I just have a bad memory is all.” He attempted to remedy his previous answer, but all three of us continued to laugh.

“Matt, how about you?” Asked Nick, to which Matt simply held up five fingers to the camera. “Same with me.” Nick agreed before turning to me. “Y/n? Spill it.” I rolled my eyes before answering truthfully. “Seven.” I shrugged, and I caught Matt’s smiley eyes through the rear view mirror.

“Alright next question is…” Chris was scrolling through the responses to their Instagram threads. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Sixteen” We all responded in unison, and immediately buckled over in laughter. “Not all at once though ya’ll.” Nick explained through his laughter, while mine and Matt’s eyes flew open and Chris’ laugh turned into hysterics. “Well…” Chris began before he was cut short by the three of us telling him to shut up. “I’m definitely gonna have to cut that one out. Sorry you two fools, I kind of set him up there.” Nick rolled his eyes as he looked between Matt and I.

Ironically enough, the fans had been half right in their rumour about Chris and I sleeping together. I had slept with one of the triplets before, but it wasn’t Chris.

When we were sixteen, Matt and I had decided that we wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It had been a no-strings-attached decision, and our friendship thankfully never wavered after it was done. Both Nick and Chris had already lost theirs that same year, and we had both just kind of wanted to get it over with. Obviously, this piece of information was known only by Matt and I, and of course Chris and Nick since they had barged into the room while we were in bed together. Even though the vindictive side of me would love to have the fans know this piece of information and shatter their dreams, I knew that the fallout would be an absolute nightmare.

“Okay let’s see…” I had been handed Nick’s phone to choose a question to answer and was scrolling through my options. “Here’s a simple one. Favourite position? Mine’s speed bump for sure.” I placed the phone down, satisfied with my confident answer, only to be met with multiple pairs of confused eyes. “I beg your pardon? The fuck is speed bump?” Asked Nick as he took his phone back. “The one where you’re kinda just lying flat on your stomach with the guy behind you. Trust me it’s chef’s kiss.” I responded simply. Chris’ facial expression turned from confusion to one of understanding. “Ohhh yeah that’s a good one.” He replied as he dapped me up. “Great, gonna have to edit that out too unless you want the rumours to get really bad again.” Nick said as he rolled his eyes. “Shit, sorry Nick.” Chris said, giggling slightly.

“Let’s just move on.” Matt said as he began scrolling on his own phone. “Best and worst sexual experiences.” He read off of his screen. There was a moment of silence while we all thought of our answers. “I had a girl throw up on my dick once. The problem is I don’t know if that makes it the worst or the best though.” Said Chris, earning a loud groan from each of us. “You’re sick.” Replied Matt, giving his brother a disgusted look.

“I mean I guess the worst sex would probably be my first time right? Like that makes sense right?” Asked Nick in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Chris’ confession, to which I nodded in agreed response without thinking. I caught Matt’s eyes in the rearview mirror again, this time seeing them filled with a pleading expression. Realizing what I had done, I silently prayed to the universe that my action would go unnoticed by the others. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, my head nod didn’t make it past Chris, which was made incredibly clear when he mumbled to Nick behind his hand that was hiding his smiling mouth from the camera.

“Did you see that?” He asked, and Nick looked confused so he continued, “Y/n agreed with you about her first time.” He managed to get out before erupting into laughter at the expense of his brother. Matt threw his hands up in the air once Nick joined Chris in his giggling, and I winced from my place in the backseat; also mouthing an apology to Matt’s reflection in the mirror.

“Bro come on it was my first time! I guarantee you were trash your first time too.” Matt said in an attempt to repair his ego as he threw his empty cup at Chris. “Maybe so, but I don’t have the girl who I lost it to here in the car to confirm it.” Chris snarked back, playfully nudging Matt’s shoulder. “We all gotta start somewhere dude.” He added when Matt didn’t respond. As Nick continued choking on his own laughter, Matt crossed his arms and stared out the window, very clearly wishing he was anywhere but there in that moment.

“Okay okay,” Nick began catching his breath. “We need to cool it because 90% of that what we just filmed is completely unusable. Let’s please just try to make it through this video without exposing Matt and Y/n’s bumpy sexual history again.” He pleaded as he began scrolling through his phone to find new questions.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

“God, that was rough.” Said Chris as we all climbed out of the parked car. We had finally finished the video. It took us an hour to film, and would still be edited down to just twenty minutes of content where we weren’t exposing big secrets or directly fuelling past rumours.

“At least it’s done. It might be a while before I ever want to do that again.” Nick responded as he opened the garage door leading into their house. “Agreed.” Added Matt from behind me as we climbed the stairs to the main level. We all walked over to the fridge to grab drinks, as if the beverages would clean our dirty mouths.

“Alright,” Chris began after a hefty chug from his Pepsi, “I’m going to my room. Matt, Nick, get on Fortnite with me.” He began descending the stairs. “I’ll get on once I shower Chris. I have a desperate need to scrub this FILTH off of my body.” Replied Nick, and he began walking towards the stairs leading to his bedroom. “Y/n, come upstairs whenever you want to go to sleep and I’ll get off the game.” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared at the top of the stairs.

Matt and I were left alone in the kitchen, him sitting at the table and me sitting on top of the counter in between the stove and the fridge. Swinging my legs carelessly, I decided to break the silence first. “I’m really sorry about all of that in the car Matt. I didn’t mean it.” He looked up at me and chuckled. “Yes you did, and it’s not a big deal. I know I wasn’t great back then.” He responded before taking a drink from his can. I smiled softly at his response but decided to leave it be. There was no use in trying to deny it. The sex was just boring, short, and awkward; the way that most first times are. At least he didn’t take any offence to it.

“You know,” He began after a few moments of silence, his eyes shooting to mine as he stood up from his place at the kitchen table. “I’ve gotten much better.” A playful smirk travelled to his lips as he began walking towards my frozen figure on the counter. He stopped just a few short centimetres away from me, so close that I could reach out and touch any part of him that I wanted. I couldn’t tell if he was fucking with me, until I felt his early signs of arousal press lightly against my knee.

My throat was dry, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Even though Matt and I had slept together when we were younger, the dynamic was much different than now. The proposition came about awkwardly, and we were a fumbling mess with very little understanding of how it felt to be aroused. But in this moment, I was very very aroused just from this conversation.

In my silence, he placed a firm hand on my hip, rubbing his thumb across it gently. “I can do just about anything. Just let me know how you want it and I can give it to you.” My stomach did a somersault at his words, and I felt my panties dampen. He used his free hand to push my legs apart so that he could stand in between them, and my limp hands subconsciously moved up to grab onto his shoulders. At the first sign of my willingness, Matt quickly leaned forward and peppered soft, teasingly slow kisses along my neck. His lips travelled up to my ear, where he bit the lobe playfully before whispering, “Well, tell me. How do you want me Y/n?”

His words caused me to clench on nothing and I nearly moaned from the anticipation. With him still waiting on my response I whispered back, “You can do anything you want to me, Matty.”

Without missing a beat, he attacked my lips with his own and I melted from the immediate relief. I moved my hands from his shoulders up to the base of his head, and as his tongue danced along with mine I pulled gently at his messy hair; my own mouth filling with a moan falling from his lips. His right hand traveled up my grey hoodie to find that I had nothing on underneath, and he lightly brushed the bottom of my left tit with his thumb. Suddenly his hands moved from under my shirt and gripped my ass as he effortlessly lifted me off the counter and into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he stumbled towards his bedroom.

Once inside the undisturbed room, he placed me down on his desk, my ass hitting the mouse and causing the computer to turn on; casting a light on the otherwise dark room. He wasted no time in removing my hoodie, leaning me back slightly so he could easily twirl his tongue along each nipple. I hummed in pleasure from the warm, wet sensation of his mouth connecting to my skin, and brought my hand down in between our bodies to softly run my hand up and down his clothed hardness. After a few moments, he pushed my hand away and dropped to his knees in between my legs.

Pulling my grey sweats off my body and pushing my thong to the side in one quick motion, Matt took a moment to relish in my swollen, dripping hole. “I don’t remember you being this wet for me last time.” He smirked as he looked up at me with blown out pupils. “Let’s see if you taste the same.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head at his filthy words, and a moan slipped from between my lips as his mouth made sloppy contact with my sensitive bud. I subconsciously grabbed onto the back of his head, suffocating him with my heat as he continued to suck and kiss my clit. As his tongue worked on my nerves, he released a guttural moan that vibrated against my heat, causing my back to arch at the intense feeling.

When we had done this all of those years before, Matt’s movements were lacking in confidence. He had fumbled around my clit blindly, and had ate me out cautiously as if he was afraid of hurting me. Now, this Matt had clearly gained experience, as my stomach was already beginning to fill with the familiar pressure from the build up of an orgasm once I watched him find all of my most sensitive spots; his eyes blissfully closed.

Suddenly, he pulled his mouth away from my heat and I groaned at the loss of contact. He straightened his body back up to my level and brought his face so close to mine that our noses were touching. “Kiss me. I want you to know how good you taste.” He whispered through his glistening bright red lips. More on fire than I had ever been in my life, I immediately attached my open mouth to his, moaning at the distinct taste of my sweet arousal on his tongue. As we deepened the kiss, his fingers found my heat and he ran two of them up and down my folds to collect my wetness before slamming them into my cunt; finding my spongey g-spot on the first pump with his curled fingers.

My head rolled back, lost in the euphoric feeling of his fingers filling me up, and he watched my facial expressions intently as the wet sounds of my upcoming orgasm filled the space between us. “Holy fuck, Matt.” I slurred, my voice coming out choppy as his fingers continued to relentlessly pound into me; never losing contact with that one spot that drove me crazy. “I-I’m gonna-” I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the very beginning of my orgasm roll over my body.

Suddenly, all of his movements stopped and my eyes shot open out of frustration. In the time since my eyes had screwed shut, his own had darkened in arousal. My body trembled from the sudden halt in its pleasure, and he smirked at me. “You want to cum, sweetheart?” He asked, his kind words a harsh paradox to his sinister expression. Still, I nodded eagerly to which he pulled his fingers out of me completely before leaning up and placing his wet mouth right against my ear.

“You’re gonna fucking wait for me.”

I attempted to squeeze my legs together to take some pressure off of my throbbing, unsatisfied core as his vulgar words scrambled my brain, before he pulled me off the desk and pushed my head down so that I was now the one on my knees. Confused, I looked up to find him gazing down at me. He gestured towards his clothed member. “Go ahead.” I grinned slyly.

My turn.

I had made an attempt at giving him head the first time we had sex. Just like him, I had struggled with confidence due to the sole fact that I had no clue what I was doing. Since then, I had had plenty of practice, and I was excited to now be the one to show him my improvements.

I grabbed onto the waist band of his pyjama pants and pulled them down to his knees. With only his tight red boxer shorts covering it now, the outline of his thick cock and the small wet spot at its tip from his pre-cum made my mouth water. I brought my mouth up to the skin on his lower stomach, right above the Calvin Klein logo on his boxers, and began peppering excruciatingly slow kisses along the light sprinkling of hair there. I glanced up at him through my eyelashes to find him peering down at me with curious lust, his mouth open slightly and his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

After a short while, I grabbed his boxers and pulled them down to meet his pants at his knees. His hardened cock smacked his stomach on its release from the tight material, where it left a wet patch from his pre-cum. Grabbing it with my left hand, I collected a pool of saliva in my mouth and stared up at him as I let it all drip down his swollen member. After pumping my hand for a few strokes, I placed only the tip in my mouth as I watched his eyes dilate. I swirled my tongue teasingly along the swollen tip, tasting the the saltiness of his fluid. Eventually, I began pumping my hand up and down his shaft in rhythm with my head bobbing along the top half of his cock. He shifted on his feet at the new sensation and let his head fall back. I kept my pace agonizingly lazy, knowing that it would drive him crazy.

With my tongue, I licked a strip from the base of his ball sack, up his shaft, and to his tip, earning a hushed whimper from his lethargic mouth before he grabbed my hair and shifted his hips. Looking down at me and holding my head firmly in place, he began thrusting his hips as he kept me still. He started slow, but when he realized that I could take more his pace began to pick up and his cock began to hit deep in my throat. I looked up at him through my tear-filled eyes, and saliva began to drip down my chin. “Fuck you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” He grunted out through each thrust. I lifted my hand to cup his balls, giving them gentle squeezes that seemed to send him towards his climax.

As a moan fell from his lips, he pulled my head back so that his dripping cock sprung free before he got the chance to fill my mouth with his cum. He stood there for a moment with his eyes closed taking deep breaths as if he was fighting the urge to finish right then, before he opened his eyes and gazed down at me. “Get on the bed.”

I pulled myself up off the ground and, on shaky legs, walked over to his bed with him following close behind. Once I reached the edge of the bed he stopped me, turning me around to face him and pushing me down so I would sit. “Put your feet on the bed and pull your knees up to your chest.” He commanded, and I did as I was told, albeit I was a bit confused. “Good girl.” He praised me as he pulled me right up to the edge of the bed before pushing my legs further apart.

Placing one of his knees on the bed beside me, he lined his cock up with my entrance; rubbing it tantalizingly along my wetness. Placing one arm around my waist to brace my body, he slowly pushed his cock inside of me right there on the edge of the bed. His trusts were slow but harsh, and the position he had placed us in made it so that my cervix was barrelled into each time his hips met mine. He placed his sweat-coated forehead against my collar bone and released small breathless grunts with each deep thrust. “So fucking good Matt. Oh god.” I whined as his pace began to increase in speed. He planted his teeth into my shoulder as we fell back onto the bed; his body now completely on top of mine as he continued to drive into me.

He lifted his head and looked fixedly at my fucked out face, his eyes glossed over in erotic pleasure. With this visual, I was brought back to the first time we had fucked, in a position so similar to this one. His rhythm was slower and much more tentative, and we were both certainly much less pleasing to the other, but still I suddenly got hit with a wave of recognition in how much we had both grown since then.

I was pulled out of my trance by Matt’s commanding voice. “Move back real quick and get on your stomach.” I did as I was told, feeling the emptiness that came from his dick sliding out of my soaking wet pussy. Assuming he wanted me in doggy, I got on my knees and arched my back; my head and shoulders pressed firmly against the soft mattress. I felt the bed move as he climbed on all the way, and in a moment of animalistic desperation I pushed my needy cunt subconsciously back to meet heat of his cock.

“No.” He stated simply, his veiny hands massaging my ass. Confused, I looked over my shoulder as I waited for him to explain. He had an ominous smile as he moved his gaze from my fully exposed cunt to my face. “I wanna see if your favourite position is really worth the hype.” He used his hands on my ass to push it down flat to the bed before adjusting himself so that he could line up correctly. Still looking over my shoulder with glazed eyes, I watched his expression as his cock sunk into my core once again. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyelashes fluttered slightly from the new sensation that the position gave him as he bottomed out. “Oh fuck.” His eyes were fully shut now as he stayed still for a moment. Small beads of sweat traveled down his stomach as I took in the beauty of the man who was making me feel so so good.

Getting turned on even more just from Matt’s visual pleasure, my walls clenched subconsciously and I whined, “Please keep going Matty.” His eyes snapped open and landed on mine, before he leaned forward — one hand beside my head and the other planted firmly to the small of my back — and began pounding into me relentlessly.

The depth of this position allowed me to feel every inch of his cock, and it became impossible to keep the moans and strings of profanity from escaping my lips. This seemed to be the case for Matt too, as over the sounds of my own moans and the wet sounds of our bodies connecting, I could hear the gruff throaty moans of his own pleasure. “Fuck. You’re so fucking tight Y/n.” Even though I was aware that we were both making far too much noise that Chris and Nick would definitely hear, I couldn’t get myself to bring it to Matt’s attention, as the animalistic vocalization of his indulgence was bringing me closer and closer to my climax.

“I-I need to cum Matty.” I managed to vocalize as my nerves began to unravel. “Hold it. Want you to cum with me.” He responded, leaning even further forward so that his body was practically lying on top of mine. He took a free hand and wrapped it around my throat, lightly squeezing the sides as my pleasure became dangerously close to bubbling over.

“P-Please cum for me. I can’t hold it anymore.” I begged, digging my nails into his silk bedsheets and feeling my walls quiver each time he drove his cock into my cervix. His breathing became hitched in my ear and his movements became sloppier. Biting my ear, he asked, “Where do you want me to cum, Y/n?”

Without wasting time, I moaned my response. “Cum in me please. Want you to fill me with it.” At that, Matt slammed his twitching cock into me a few more times before finally telling me what I so desperately needed him to.

“Okay sweetheart. Go ahead and make a mess for me.” Even before his words fully left his dirty mouth, I gave into the overbearing pressure in my stomach and felt my intense orgasm over-take me. Practically screaming his name, my pussy convulsed uncontrollably. I felt the immediate relief and heard the gush as I squirted along his cock and down his legs. “Jesus.” He moaned out as his body suddenly stilled. As my legs shook, I could feel his cock twitching inside of me; painting my walls with his cum.

After we both came down from our highs, catching our breath and reconnecting with our minds, Matt slowly pulled his dick — freshly bathed in my own juices — out of my swollen core. With a satisfied sigh, he threw his body onto the bed beside mine. Both of us laid there for a moment, facing one another with glazed over expressions, before a shameless smile crept onto Matt’s face.

“Well you definitely didn’t squirt the last time we slept together.” He chuckled proudly, and I knew his ego had been inflated. I rolled my eyes. “Well, you didn’t whimper the last time we fucked either.” It was my turn to smile as he covered his face bashfully. We laid there in silence for a moment, both of us lethargic and fucked out.

“If that was anything like when ya’ll lost your virginities then I am extremely impressed.”

Matt and I both shot our heads up and looked around the room for the origin of that familiar voice. We were alone, but my eyes focused on the lit-up computer. On the screen, Matt’s Discord was open to the group with Nick and Chris. I turned to look at Matt, who had also clearly made the same discovery that I had, and whispered, “Did you for real leave the channel unmuted?” He tucked his lips together and shrugged apprehensively, before climbing off the bed and over to the computer.

“Chris, how much of that did you hear?” He asked into his headset. I heard a laugh through the mic. “Oh Matt, I heard it all. Good work. I’m a proud brother.” I covered my face in embarrassment as Matt rolled his eyes. “Fuck off. You’re a perv.” He mumbled to his brother, but I caught the small smile that tried to creep to his lips.

“I’m gonna need a fucking lobotomy to get over the trauma that I was just put through.” I heard Nick’s voice now through the mic and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Bro you could have just left the server, you act like I forced you to listen to the entire thing.” Matt argued with his older brother. “You think I stayed and listened to the ENTIRE thing? What are you crazy?” I was full out laughing now, despite the embarrassment. “I left as soon as I figured out what was happening, but I still heard waaaay too much.” Matt laughed now and muted his mic — perhaps a bit too late — then walked back to where I was on the bed, propped up on my forearms.

“Whoops.” He simply said as he pulled his boxers back up. I shook my head and smiled shyly. “We are literally never going to be able to live that down.” I replied as he draped his body along the bed beside me again. Rubbing his eyes awkwardly, he shrugged softly. “Well, at least they’re gonna have to stop teasing me about my skills.” I smacked his arm playfully and he responded by grabbing me swiftly and pulling me to his side.

“You were impressed, weren’t you?” He asked teasingly, as he held me close. I closed my eyes and sighed, “I was, Matt. Really, really, impressed.” He giggled into my neck at my truthful response and I swatted him once again.

“I’m glad we got our re-do. I’d been wanting that for a while.” He said after a moment. I looked at him with a smile and ruffled his hair. “Me too, honestly. I always knew you had some potential in you.” I teased.

“Well, if you don’t want to have to face Nick right now, you’re welcome to sleep in here tonight.” He offered and I sighed in relief. “That would be great, actually.” I said as I began to sit up. “Let’s get cleaned up first though.” He began as he got up and grabbed us both towels from his closet, “You’re not allowed to get under my sheets until you wash my children off your thighs.” My eyes shot open at his disgusting choice of words and I quickly covered myself with my towel. “Matthew Bernard you are sick!” I exclaimed as we both headed towards his bathroom. “Sure am. But so are you.”

He pulled me into a hug while we stood in the bathroom waiting for the shower to warm up. As he rubbed circles on my back with his hand, I sighed. “I think this is the secret to good friendship.” He chuckled before asking, “What is?” Playfully, I smacked his ass over his boxers. “Fucking the shit out of each other once in a while.” He laughed and pulled away from the hug before getting into the shower; leaving the glass door open so that I could follow him. “Shut your weird ass up and get in the shower with me, friend.”

[sexlapis]

[◉°] … TOJI FUSHIGURO READS THIRST TWEETS…6.4M views

actor!toji, crack, fluff, implied toji x gender neutral!reader, depraved tweets…

⤷ synopsis: our favourite actor, toji, discovers more of his fanbase’s depravity…

a/n: i’m sorry this took so long. actor!toji hasn’t been forgotten about okay! ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

masterlists

actor!toji masterlist

*

“hey everyone, i’m toji fushiguro and i-,” toji exhales deeply, like he’s disappointed, shaking his head and closing his eyes, “i’m gonna be reading your thirst tweets? thirst twee-is that what they’re called?

he looks dashing - his hair boyishly messy, donned in black shirt that is far too fitting, along with dark blue jeans which are far too tight around his lower body, more specifically his thighs. denim stretches around the thick muscle with each of his movements, rippling through the thick material.

those will probably be very distracting to viewers.

toji holds up a smartphone, pressing on its screen with his large index finger, “…how’s this thing work again?” faint laughter can be heard from behind the camera, “‘cos i don’t use phones like this. my phones usually have buttons and stuff…”

after five painful minutes of two crew members explaining how a smartphone operates (condensed into a ten second clip) toji he is good to go.

“ahhh, right, right, right. okay. thanks,” toji clears his throat, shifting in his chair a little, “because i really didn’t know…”

tweet 1

toji sighs and lets out a strained laugh. “look i appreciate the thought but that doesn’t even sound nice…in fact, this just sounds like a threat. is this a threat? it’s a threat to me. also you can’t spell.”

tweet 2

“why are they all so threatening? why do mean beaten up and bloody? why do they all want me in pain? what wrong with you people?!” toji exclaims, shaking his head and sighing, before pondering, “i do enjoying doing fight scenes though, so i’m not against this…”

tweet 3

toji makes a face and his mouth twitches. “huh?! what? what is this? what are they saying? is this what kids are saying these days? is this a compliment?” a crew from behind the camera explains that it is, indeed, a strong compliment. “oh, okay. what happened to ‘he looks so nice’ or ‘he’s so handsome’? they’re so damn strange.”

tweet 4

“just when i thought they were getting normal…all the way to my elbow?” he questions in disbelief. “ and my hands?” he holds up both of his hands, “is that what women like?”

there were many edits made with that clip.

tweet 5

“alright well this one is kinda nice for the most part. i’m gonna ignore the penis part. they’re not not wrong of course.” he states as a matter of fact. but then says, “…me and y/n are not together though…” laughs are heard from behind the camera, “what? we’re not together! if we were, i’d make sure everybody knew, trust me.”

tweet 6

toji clears his throat, breathing in deeply and shaking his head. “i think…i think that’s enough for today. or ever. there’s nothing more to say to this. thanks.”

*

a/n: actor toji is here guys he won’t be back for another 5 months 👍

tag list: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie | @ncentic | @rosesored | @imover-18 | @gintokhi | @suzuperstarr | @lostgxrlblog | @jallie10 | @nnsav | @bunnyx-sakura | @bubbabobabubbles | @ladytamayolover | @keiva1000 | @morgyyyyyyy | @studiecoherence | @earth2fae | ce-namonreads | @ib4ryuguji | @hisjaegerist | @basiloverthyme | @sweet-kiwi | @sayitowshi | @iovemytoru | @thecompletechaosmaster | @sugutoad | @inumakiiz | @uzxotic | @1meshugge1 | @kunikuzushisbeloved

[boxbug]

A Canary’s Final Flight

My piece for @trafficzine 4th edition! Get it for free here! 200 pages of excellent art and fics, incredible work from all participants and from the mods especially!! huge shoutout to the mods for real

Process notes under the cut! (I struggled a lot so it's a bit of a novel)

So the entire process was a Ride. I knew when I picked this prompt that I was going to have a hard time, because Jimmy’s final death had been illustrated a billion times over by extremely talented artists. But I had a Vision of the snapshot of the second before the impact, when everything is still but you know what’s about happen. It was very much inspired by the clip of Fog by Jabberwocky, bu the thing is, they have the advantage of all the build up of the fall, and that’s when the trouble started.

This was my first version, and obviously it wasn't working. And I was trying so hard, with so many iterations! Small wings, big wings, no wings, different poses, less backgrounds elements. I'd done compositions were everything seemed peaceful but something is Wrong, but it wasn't working this time.

So instead I focused on what rendering I'd like to do - I tried a painterly approach, for that visceral feeling, but it wasn't working either (but hey, I did keep the red sky, so, progress)

At this point I'd been doing back and forths for weeks and I was just as lost as at the start. Now that's my tip for people who make art of any kind, in situations like that, stop thinking about how you can make the best piece possible, and think about you can have fun with it (because when you aren't it's visible). And for that was, 1 - going back to using ink and pen nibs and doing way too detailed inking, and 2- looking at Dave McKean's covers for Sandman (which, funnily enough, was also a reference for my previous trafficzine piece)

And from there I was actually going somewhere! Between the jagged rocks, the red sky, and the increased verticality with the borders, I had hit the vibes I wanted.

I did some experimentation with the border, and even though I really liked the bad boys I drew they were taking too much away from the lonely desolation, so I actually used Red (Unecessary Redstone)'s idea of all of Jimmy's worldy's possessions scattered on the ground post impact, with the idea to make it looks like the central image is his grave being dug.

(and yes for a short amount of time the were supposed to be clock markings on the sun, but there was already enough going with the wings so I scrapped that) (also fun fact the reason why the wings aren't fully material but more ghostly is because my toddler cousin was watching me draw the very first draft and asked why he didn't just use his wings and i went :( so the wings are a metaphor now)

So from there I found a bunch of picture and took some myself, cut and assembled everything together, added shadows in all the appropriate places, and repainted some elements so that everything would look better intergrated (some of the wheats are basically 100% handpainted, the cardboard as well). This took a suprisingly long amount of time, but I was done!

Well I wasn't expecting to have that much to say, but I hope if you're still reading, it was at least interesting!

[got-ticket-to-ride]

John Lennon explaining who "(Just Like) Starting Over" is for

This interview took place only 12 hours before he lost his life. He was so looking forward to the 80s. I had this edit sitting in my folder for two months because it hurt listening to it. John had such a difficult childhood (losing his mother, his friend dying), his stardom weigh him down mentally, his marriage was a failure (and he couldn't really live in freedom with the person he truly loved due to societal norms). And then he gets robbed of his life in the most brutal way. How absolutely devastating...

In this clip, he clearly says the song is not for Yoko.

I was visualizing all the people of my age group from the 60s.... Having gone through everything together, I am singing to them. I'm really talking to the people that grew up with me and saying here I am now, how are you? How's your relationship going? Did you get through it all? Wasn't the 70s a drag? You know, here we are. Well, let's try and make the 80s good, you know, because it's still up to us to make what we can of it. It's not out of our control.

We have grown, we have grown Although our love is still special Let's take a chance and fly away Somewhere alone It's been too long since we took the time

But when I see you darling It's like we both are falling in love again It'll be just like starting over

Everyday we used to make it love Why can't we be making love nice and easy It's time to spread our wings and fly Don't let another day go by my love It'll be just like starting over

We'll be together all alone again Like we used to in the early days

These parts of the lyrics specifically can only pertain to one person he grew up with. George Harrison.

I'm kidding, Paul.

[tremendum]

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Me and the Devil; i

(not my gif) .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·: Paul Atreides x fem!reader prelude next

word count: 5.3k

summary:  Destruction: the only thing you and Feyd-Rautha may have ever had in common. Unfortunately, you endured. You learned how to live with the Harkonnens, to be one of them- and with a clip of fear, you worry you may never be able to unlearn. 

warnings: blood/violence, family deaath, v brief allusions to smut/dubcon, reader is traumatized. pls lmk if i missed anything. not edited.

notes: thanks for all the love so far!!! here's the first chapter of the story - if you want to stay updated, i post on AO3 first :) just a quick first chapter to lay the scene before we jump into the engaging parts of the story. feedback is very motivating and highly valued, thank u all <33

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Penitent Crimes of Retaliation

In accordance with the legal doctrine of the 'Reprisal Accord', as sanctioned by the High Court of the Landsraad, houses are granted the right to retaliate against proven offenses committed upon them. This action shall such be labelled as "Penitent Crimes of Retaliation". Under this mandate, should sufficient evidence be presented, the aggrieved house may initiate a retaliatory strike and engage in warfare against the offending party. While reparations for damages incurred during the conflict are mandated, perpetrators shall be exempt from criminal sentences, ensuring a balanced recourse within the framework of inter-house disputes."

- From the Reprisal Accord, Office of the Padishah Emperor. Imperium, 10041. 

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There was once a time when green was your favorite color. 

You'd enjoyed a childhood of it; Peridot, Jades, the velvet green of winter dresses, the tall, mighty green the sacred Pine. The woven banner of your house, waving in the snow-whipped wind; A snarling green wolf upon the grey armor your parents wore to train you. 

When the men of one other Houses Major arrived to retrieve your older sister, she'd been shroud in that very same pine-colored satin, an elegant dress, as she waved good-bye to you for the last time. When the ice would melt off the lower glaciers for those three months every year, the lakes would thaw to a deep emerald green, and your brother, sisters and you would play in it; servants and soldiers alike yelling and pulling you out, shivering to your bones. 

Even at your sister's funeral. The green of the casket, laid to rest in the ground of a foreign planet by a man who'd never truly loved her. The women of your House, wearing a veil of mourning in that sacred pine satin as you said good-bye to her. Killed by the birth of her first; a son. Your parents had been proud - You became the oldest of your siblings that day.

You can barely stand to look at green anymore. No, instead, you mostly see black.

Black, white, and red. 

They'd sent you away to make for your house a Fortune; a son, they'd wished, for your sake - and, by whispers of your Lady Mother, a daughter - but this place... it crawls with shadows and monsters and deadly smiles; most in the form of your betrothed.

Your na-Baron. 

If Feyd-Rautha ever had a semblance of hesitancy, it was when you first met four years ago. You were at the end of your seventeenth year; he, freshly eighteen. He had been as cordial as you'd ever seen him, escorting you with an arm held out, eyes malicious but mouth less than offensive. He'd even called you Lady Bourbon those first few months on Giedi Prime. And, in fact, you can consider yourself lucky; perhaps for your bloodline, or for you yourself, Feyd-Rautha took special care of you. Maybe he did care for you -in the ways that he could. 

After that, he taught you all you needed to know about the rest of the world. In these final days together, he has admitted furiously that he waited too long to claim you as his wife - four years was much too long for you to wait, even if your purity was claimed by him long before then. 

The accusations had come from his uncle, the Baron; House Bourbon was stealing their precious refinery codes, committing treason against the trading accords along their exportation route. Perhaps, he thought, you were the one to plot it against your beloved future family.

But Feyd-Rautha knew better - knew that you'd never dare betray him. He was the one to demand a public execution of your family - but also the one to redirect your sentencing to a mere prisoner. As if you weren't one already. 

Don't look away. See what we do to scum, my pet? 

After all the sparring, each time you drew that precious blood from him, and you still haven't been able to kill him. If you'd had a blade, you would have, right there in the stands. 

You were, in some ways, relieved when their bodies had hit the sand fast; You'd never seen your brother's skin so reflective as you did this morning. The black sun couldn't hide the blood that had seeped from him, nor from your mother's throat. You'd swallowed thickly, wishing you could look away, gasp - cry; but you had to hide your pain. Your na-Baron would've loved it too much.

Why don't you leave me with them, then? You'd hissed through your teeth.

Though he was wild and psychotic, growling with hunger at the bloodsport in front of him, he heard you for what you'd said. Feyd's fingers pulled your hair hard; forcing your chin to stare up at him. A sickly glint in the black sun, his teeth shone with hunger. 

You'd have me throw you to your Wolves, and lose my prize? He'd tutted, kissing your forehead with a sickening sweetness; enough so that the servants had turned away their spider-black gazes. They didn't care much for the acts of affection you'd occasionally show one another - in a world marred by ugliness, any glimpse of beauty becomes a hauntingly grotesque show of power.

He'd snarled, slapping your cheek hard enough for you to groan. His breath hit your face, you're mine to keep - there's plenty of life left for you to serve.  

He'd held your eyes open as they'd slit your father's throat; then both of your sisters, and your brother's. Your mother had fought as much as she could in her drugged state - the Harkonnens are rutheless, and Feyd-Rautha had sat calmly behind you, your head in his hands, caressing your shaking cheek - but the neckline of her gown was too high, and too thickly inlaid with encrusted heirlooms. 

Bless their voided souls.

The emeralds that tore from her gown as she'd spilled her blood to the sand sent a ripple of pain out of your throat. Feyd had buried his face in your neck, teeth sharp as he sucked a mark just behind your ear, watching as you clenched your palms so hard, your own ruby blood beaded out, blackened in the sun's light.

If anybody would have bothered to look before burning the bodies, you know they'd find all the family diamonds sewn into the fabric of their clothing - centuries of your House, melted away.

Feyd-Rautha had drank up your agony with his lips, smiling as his hand wrapped around your throat. 

Now, alone and away from the thick industrial air, your chambers are cold and suffocating.

There are screams coming from the hall - not the kind that you've grown to associate with your na-Baron testing his new blades, but the kind that comes with danger. With change. 

As it turns out, you are not Feyd-Rautha's to keep any longer.

A loud noise outside of your quarters jolts you from your bed, whispering to yourself. They're coming for you. Pulling the sheets closer to your body, your hand finds the blade gifted to you on your nameday three years ago by your husband-to-be, still tainted with the ghost of your own blood.

Your whispers reverberate in the empty room. "I must not fear. fear is the mind-killer. fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me."

Your voice shakes. Few things remain from your early days of training, before you were sent off to become a Harkonnen; This is one is a relic.

There is a loud noise just outside; blades. 

For a moment, you imagine there is a hand on your arm. It is strong, ghost-white, and possessive. His voice rumbles in your head. Don't look so sad, my pet. I will never let them keep what is mine. I will find you again. 

You almost wish he will. 

When you look down to the weight on your arm, you do not find the hand of your once-betrothed, but the remainder of his ownership, a handprint of a bruise that will not fade even as the soldiers in Atreides armor deliver you to the next planet.

You rise from your bed, preparing your sore body for a fight that will surely end before it even starts. You don't stop your old prayer, in fact, you hardly notice that you're saying it at all. Even as the doors give in. 

"-and when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing - only I will remain-" There are soldiers that burst through.

The way one of them fights strikes a faint memory from a lost childhood, and it fills you with rage. 

Why did you wait so long to rescue me?

You lunge, snarling like the wild beast you've become in your captivity. You will fight, because that is the only thing you know how to do. It is the only thing you have left. 

Your blade falls within minutes.

You're taken by the man from your past not a minute after. 

You're on a ship, watching the black Opiuchi B disappear, in an hour. 

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"My Lady."

You don't realize the worker addresses you until you snap out of it, flushing behind your veil as you step out of the aircraft.

The dress you wear, salvaged from your family's old castle, is dusty. 

It clings to your skin, drowns you, as the rain falls. A staff of House Atreides holds an umbrella above you, shielding your elaborate dress from the water as you walk up towards where the members of the House await you. You stare down at the dress - green velvet. A texture you have not felt in years; your skin looks different not wrapped completely in black.

Your eyes strain to take in the grand entrance to the castle from the hangar which Duncan Idaho had escorted you, ignoring him as he turns to glance back at you momentarily. You can't bear the look of unfamiliarity that flickers over him when he looks at you, now.  

He looks the same - maybe less tall, but that has more to do with it having been six years since you last saw the man. You, however, are not the same girl you were when he knew you on Sabberon. Fear, panic, and wrath rage within you while your gaze smolders daggers at the back of his head. 

He walks just slightly in front of you and despite yourself, you slide just a bit closer - the only semblance of comfort you can allow yourself to feel as you take in the largess of the castle. The air is thicker here than you've ever felt; salty, windy, like you can taste the sea in the rain... it clings to your skin, but it feels clean. You'd been changing into your robes when you entered atmo - you've heard many things about the ocean, about Caladan. 

Something within you yearns to witness it yourself. Subtly, you crane your neck outwards to catch a glimpse; nothing in the near distance but the walls of the castle and high cliffs. 

You nearly trip as Duncan Idaho stops just a few paces from where the members stand at attention to greet you and your retinue.

Duke Leto Atreides, regal and composed, stands at the center of the room, his presence commanding your attention. Beside him, a woman wearing a deep cerulean gown - Lady Jessica. Easily, from behind your own veil, her gaze penetrates you; A cool sensation down your spine as you seem to feel her words in the back of your head as she watches the Reverend Mother who'd travelled with you per High Court orders.

 Hello, sister.

You purse your lips, looking on - there, next to his mother; Standing tall with an aura of quiet intensity, his eyes on you, is Paul Atreides.

The son to whom you're now destined.

Even from your obstructed vision, you can see that he's handsome - lithe, hair curled and combed back to show his eyes. They are wide, penetrating like his mother's, but Maker, they are so green. 

There is no hunger in his eyes, nor hatred, nor anything but a mild curiosity; it strikes a chord of fear in your gut, wishing briefly to return to the na-Baron's sight. It was easy to go unseen with the Harkonnens; They always made their intentions clear, and the na-Baron never wanted many to see you besides himself. You always knew what he wanted, and you could give it to him enough to control him. 

But Paul. His stare betrays no emotion but duty. If not for the boyish pout of his pink lips and his freshly-shaven jaw, you could have mistaken him for his father. A Duke. 

Your name, boomed from the voice of Leto Atreides, pulls you back to the surface of Caladan. "Welcome." Duke Leto's voice resonates through the hall with authority as he addresses you, his tone measured yet warm. Your stomach twists and turns as the man nods courteously to you. Coaxing your body to move, you bow to him.

"We are honored by your presence." His voice is surprisingly humane, exceedingly polite towards you; someone who was just come from the protection (a laughable phrase) of their sworn enemy. 

Your throat tightens at this. There is no honor to your presence, not anymore. 

Though you feel the prickling behind your eyes, you force your head to tilt in acknowledgment, schooling your expression to respectful - perhaps they can't quite make out your face, but Lady Jessica watches closely. She sees.

You take a sharp breath, swallowing away the lump of emotion in your throat. 

"Thank you, Duke Leto, my lord." Your voice carries steel beneath its polite, quiet veneer, though you try to calm your heart. You turn to Lady Jessica to greet her.

"My Lady, it is a pleasure." You say, equally even. Lady Jessica offers a tight smile, something akin to understanding swimming among her irises. It's been quite some time since you were permitted to talk to a woman; Your servants on Giedi Prime were, of course, tongue-less, as na-Baron wished. "Thank you for welcoming me to your home." 

"We understand that these are trying times for you." She says softly, her words a gesture of solidarity as your legs stagger. You feel dizzy and tired, but you force yourself to nod, bowing again. Your chained headdress overlaying your veil chimes slightly with the movement, swaying with the rain.

For such an acclaimed House, you're surprised by the gentleness of their welcome. Perhaps, they'd thought that the groaning and echoing hallways of Giedi Prime might break you, that they'd be taking in some injured little dove, wings clipped by the ferocious boy who'd gifted her with a knife plunged between her ribs on her nameday. 

The scar that lies just below your breast on your right side serves not as a reminder, but as fuel. It did not quell your spark. It ignited it, with a bloodthirsty rage for revenge.

Months of being thrown into a pit under the glaring black sun; Not the arena that assassinated your family, no - this pit was smaller, with one large seat for the na-Baron himself, and drugged concubines and servants with blades to service his na-Baroness. A place to watch his pets play. 

Destruction: the only thing you and Feyd-Rautha may have ever had in common. 

Unfortunately, you endured. You learned how to live with the Harkonnens, to be one of them- and with a clip of fear, you worry you may never be able to unlearn. 

Lady Jessica is correct, these are trying times for you. You swallow as you straighten your back. Despite everything, there's a minor comfort in the Atreides' insistence of providing you with the necessities for you to perform your traditional customary mourning traditions. Your family may be gone, but you can still have this part of them; as a way of saying good-bye. It's what they would have wanted. 

You turn to the young man who stands next to Lady Jessica.

The Harkonnens had tried to show you the dangers of house Atreides; The poison of appearance, of trust. You are not foolish enough to have believed the Baron Vladimir and his webs of deception, but you are sharp enough to know that in times like these, nobody can be trusted. 

Your betrothed watches you, as if trying to see through your mourning veil. The green of his eyes sends a warmth through your stomach as you avert your eyes. "My Lord," you bow to him, your heart thumping in your chest, remembering how you might be rewarded for looking your formerly betrothed in the eyes during ceremony. Trying not to flinch, you wait to see what Paul's hands may do. But they do not strike you, nor grasp your jaw sharply. He barely moves. 

"My Lady." His voice is softer than you expected, and it strikes your heart with a cool unease. Distrust slithers around you like a daunting snake. He bows back to you. 

It's silent for a thick moment before Duncan Idaho - the man from a distant past - speaks from beside you. "We have much to discuss." 

Cutting to the chase, as always. Your eyes fall to the Duke, who nods. "Do you need to see treatment?" He asks the Swordsman, eyes assessing the soldier. 

Duncan laughs at this, gesturing to his arm, where beads of blood still slowly peeks through his the tunic he'd slipped on after changing out of his armor.

"Harkonnen blades are sharp. So are Lady Bourbon's nails."

The prickling of four pairs of eyes strike you as he continues, turning this time to address you full-on. "Your fighting is much different than I remember, Little Bourbon." 

What he doesn't say is clear to you: Much more savage than he remembers. Something between shame and pride licks at your cheeks and you avert your eyes; It had been a force of habit - rabid hounds don't tuck tail when cornered, do they?

You clench your hand, your nails digging into your palms; you learned early on that sharper claws could keep Feyd tame for longer. 

The force of Duncan's old nickname for you, when you'd been young - it nearly knocks the air out of your chest. It's been over half a decade since you'd seen the man; too much has happened since then. Nonetheless, you smile toothless behind the veil, trying not to think of the life you'd just left behind. Of what cold life lies ahead. 

When you respond, your voice is frigid. 

"Sometimes adaptation is survival, Duncan Idaho. Threats demand evolution." 

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The rain is gone by the next day.

In the morning room, forks scrape over blue-plated China. There must be a clock somewhere near, as the seconds pass in quiet, insistent ticks. A cleared throat, a swallow of water. 

Your eyes burn from exhaustion.

Your arrival last night held no such time for small talk - you were whisked away by the service staff to make sure your quarters were comfortable; Your old clothing and that of your sisters and mother - the few things the Atreides soldiers had salvaged from the ransacked Castle at Sabberon - had been washed thrice of rubble and smoke and were hanging, waiting for you, in the wardrobes. 

Barely awake, late in the evening, you'd attended a meeting in a small conference hall. There, sat across from Lord Paul, Masters of War and Swords and Strategy, a Mentat, and the Lady Jessica, the Duke had asked you questions, ensuring you were not harmed - more importantly, trying to ensure there was no malicious intent to your presence. Your eyes could not ignore the Lady Jessica, who stood behind the Duke, her fingers twitching to the others when you responded to a question asked of you. They had some kind of language, you'd realized, as they responded in their own subtle hand gestures. 

You'd only been there for ten minutes before you were escorted by a handmaid back to your chambers, where you sat without rest through the night. 

Truthfully, you're breaking fast with Lady Jessica and Lord Paul out of courtesy; You were up far before the sun had found the horizon this morning, staring emotionless at the ghost who stood in the corner of your new chambers.

You'd sat watching, cradling your chest with wide eyes, as the ghost slid onto his knees. How he'd crawled, smirking at the foot of your mattress, whispering to you with sharp teeth and beckoning fingers. The sweet promise in his eyes laid with blood and pain, coaxing you forward despite yourself - until something in the corner of your vision moved, and you'd screamed. 

That had woken one of the servants.

She came in with her head tilted down, holding a pitcher of water, and you'd asked her to stay.

Her name is Hestia; she must barely be twenty. You insisted on sharing a pot of tea with her, sitting in the silence but sipping shortly on your teacups. You didn't talk much, but instead breathed and felt the safety and of a woman's company, even if she is a few years younger than you. 

It wasn't until she'd brought you breakfast a few minutes later that you realized the staff must have been informed of your courting customs before your arrival - she said nothing as you ate silently, staring out towards the coast of rocky cliffs and rolling moors you could just barely make out from your chamber windows. 

And now you sit similarly - in the morning dining room, your hands perched in your lap, unsure what to do with yourself.

Your future husband, no older than yourself, sits across the table from you now, pushing his omelet around on his fork. The table shakes just slightly, jilting your glass full of water - he must have a restless knee. He chews at his lip, avoiding your stare, sharing slight conversation with his Lady mother. Her attempts to bring you into the conversation are met with polite answers and more silence, your voice shaky and cold. 

After a while, a woman enters, whispers something to the Lady at the end of the table. Nodding, Lady Jessica takes her leave with a pointed look at Paul, suggesting he might escort you around the castle to settle you in.

Though your stomach coils, you nod, "-if you have time, my Lord, I'd appreciate it."

His eyes find yours from behind the veil and you clear your throat. He's quiet but chivalrous; A nod, a glance sent back to his mother as she leaves. A short gust of air through the room and suddenly you can smell him. His hair, clean and glossy - healthy - glints as he faces a window, exposing the early morning sun to his bright eyes.

It's silent for a few moments as only the two of you remain; Your food untouched and his half-eaten. 

"Are you one of them?" 

Them?

You stare at him from behind the thin pine veil that covers you. It occurs to you that Paul may assume you are just as bald and sick as each Harkonnen; years of adapting, surviving off of instinct and placation, are over. With a jolt, you realize you are not a Harkonnen. And you will not be wed to one.

You shake your head, thankful for the lack of chains upon the crown of your head today, ignoring the melancholy feeling in your gut. 

"I have hair." You state simply, looking down at the skin of your arm; The skin that boasts arm hair, none of the sickly pale skin that knew of no clean air nor healthy sunlight - your skin, glowing with real melanin like the House of Bourbon.

You'd never spoken this freely on Giedi Prime besides in the sole company of Feyd-Rautha - stars, you'd never have spoken this freely at home on Sabberon, either - but there is no home anymore. And if you've learned one thing in your years since coming of age, its that the Great and Noble Houses of the Landsraad are crawling with perjurers, fabricators. 

Paul is likely the same. 

If the Atreides boy must be wed to you, you cannot help that, just as you couldn't help with Feyd-Rautha. They can dress you, insist in your traditional customs - but you will not go down easy. No matter how cold the home, you can be colder. You are more than the bones which hold you up; Meaner than the demons that kept you in their ghostly-grip for four years. 

His cheeks flush a peculiar pink, bottom lip captured between pearly teeth. "No," he starts again, eyes searching - trying to find you, beneath the layers of green that wrap around you. "Not Harkonnen-" he quiets after he says the name, as if worried to offend you. "I meant-" his eyes swim, "Bene Gesserit." 

Your stomach chills as you meet his eyes. 

After some hesitation, you shake your head. "No, my Lord."

When he blinks at your words, you feel compelled to continue. "I suppose I was..." you move your hand to pull on the sleeve of your robes.

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"or, I was supposed to be." your unemotional tone rings through the room. Paul doesn't say anything to that, biting back the suspicion that climbs up his throat.

He stands when you rise from your seat; Your mourning dress, unlike anything he'd ever seen before, flows like the leaves of a weeping willow as you push your chair in behind you. When he offers a stiff arm to escort you out of the room, you hesitate before looping yourself loosely to him. 

She is telling the truth. 

His mother had indicated, with flicks of her hand, during the meeting the evening before; you, sat before the Atreides' council, unaware that his mother was reading your honesty. 

But that could be a trick; you've admitted to being partially trained in the ways of the Bene Gesserit, perhaps you found a way to deceive his mother. As much as he trusts Duncan and his father, he can't shake the suspicion that you're a mere pawn in the Harkonnens' game.

But his father's words burn sharply into his mind. 

Duty often requires us to navigate paths we may not have chosen for ourselves, Paul. You may not always like her, but you will treat her with the respect and care befitting of a future spouse. Love may come in other ways - but you will marry her, and together you will sire an heir when the time comes.

By decree, it was ordered you be wed to Paul, but he can't find it within himself to lose the feeling of distrust. He has spent hours learning about the Harkonnens - how they think, their strategy; and yet, from Duncan's account, the Baron and his nephew just let you go. It makes no sense to him. 

"I was supposed to be a lot of things." 

Your voice is undeniably beautiful; strong, much more resolute than he'd expected. But you are extremely cold, and evidently unwilling. Polite, yes - it seems you've been trained just as he and every other young noble of the Great Houses have - but you are calculating, aggressive.

He saw the claw marks you'd left upon Duncan; a man you've known since you were a young girl.

You walk with your chest out, back straight like a soldier; your words are cordial yet laced with steel and indifference - it only serves to deepen his unease. He guides you through the castle, murmuring quietly as he shows you along, introducing you to various members of staff who stop and bow in recognition. 

You don't say much until he escorts you to a path that winds down out of your sights; Below the castle, between jagged rocks, Paul finds himself concerned to no longer be surrounded by castle walls. Beside him, you take a deep breath, your footsteps faltering as you slow to stare at moss that sprawls across the cobblestone. 

Curiously, Paul slows to a stop beside you.

For a moment, you stare down at the dirt and fallen tree limbs, the grassy fields and rocks. Soon, as though an invisible string pulls you upwards, you snap your head, voice sheepish behind your veil. "Apologies, my Lord." You start to turn away. "I've read of plants like this, but never seen them before in person." 

Paul is suddenly struck by the realization that you may not have seen much of any flora nor fauna on Caladan. He knows what Giedi Prime is like; and your homeworld, from what he'd read last night before bed, was mostly full of Glaciers, forests, and high altitudes. Perhaps you are interested in such things; the idea surprises him. 

So instead of moving along, he finds himself bending to pull off a bit of the moss from a fallen trunk. The earthy dirt spreads between his nimble fingers, the green bright against his skin. You watch him silently.

"It absorbs up to twenty times its dry weight in water." He says it quietly, repeating what he'd learned in an ecological lesson, pushing on the spongy material with his thumb. "Banks of it grow just around the brackish tidepools outside the castle." 

Your interest, piqued, causes your head to crane slightly from your short height - he can tell, even without seeing any part of your face, that you are fascinated. "Am I allowed to see?" You ask stiffly, your arms by your sides.

An initial wave of protectiveness over his home washes over him; remembering his father's words, he forces his shoulders to relax. He lets the moss fall back to the stump, brows furrowing. 

"You are to be Lady Atreides, one day." He tries to school his voice evenly, avoiding any hint of resistance to this fact. "You do not have to ask permission to see your own land." 

The wind from the sea whips around you; his stray curls fly in his vision. There are no words from you for several very long breaths, in which you clear your throat. 

"I do not feel well, my Lord." You say moments later, voice cordial but thick with the desire to be alone, "I believe I am sick from travel. Please, if you would excuse me." 

He is unsure if he had made you uncomfortable or if you are truly feeling sick; nonetheless, Paul escorts you to your chambers silently, calling one of the handmaids - Hestia, her name is - to check on you. He insists she bring you some bread and cheese, to draw you a bath if you please. 

His jaw clenches; he's to train with his mother soon, but he needs release. His muscles clench in repressed frustration and so Paul lets his feet carry him swiftly to the training quarters.

His fingers itch for a blade; his mind itches to forget about the last day, about the cold life that lies ahead of him. 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

follow @tremendumnotifs for updates.

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[thesirencove]

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ WILDFLOWER -- SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER

hi everyone !! this is a fic i posted on a previous blog , that i since removed from said blog as i decided to focus on another topic so i created this blog so that i can once again share my works :) i've since edited this fic as i wrote it little bit ago !! let me know your thoughts on this one and enjoy <3 my requests are open and let me know if anyone would like a part two to this !

oh and grab some tissues .

sam winchester x fem!reader (romantic) // dean winchester x fem!reader (platonic)

summary: when a hunt goes wrong...

warnings: blood and bleeding , death , descriptions of being unable to breathe , descriptions of feeling worthless , sad sam :( , lots of angst and overall sad .

word count: 1.8k

it wasn’t meant to happen this way.

y/n and sam were supposed to live a long, happy life together. they were meant to hunt for a little while longer and then retire and live their happy little ‘apple pie life’ as dean trademarked it. they’d already talked about having kids and a dog and building their dream house together. they were supposed to be together until they were old and took their last breaths together. 

simply, together.

but sometimes things don’t go according to plan. just like the moment they were in right now.

sam was kneeling on the floor, covered in blood. not his own. hers. it soaked through his shirt and stained his face.  

“y/n please stay with me,” sam pleaded, holding her limp body in his arms, her shallow breaths barely audible for him to feel any sense of comfort. he was pressing down on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. trying to stop her from dying. still, more of her blood poured out from god knows where. 

“i-’m sorr..y,” she croaked out. y/n could feel herself fading away. the oxygen wouldn’t fill her lungs properly and every one of her limbs were so, so tired. 

the hunt started out perfectly. y/n, sam, and dean were quick to figure out where the monster was and how to get rid of it. a nest of vampires, hiding in the woods, preying on the little town nearby. bodies had stacked up over the years, but it wasn’t until recently that it became suspicious. y/n happened to be the one to find the newspaper article. 

“guys! i found us a case!” she brought the newspaper clipping over to sam and dean so enthusiastically. she was so excited, so proud to have found a case on her own instead of relying on the winchester brothers to find one for them all. they saw the glint of her eyes and couldn’t say no. how could they, seeing how wide she was smiling?

so they went. they should have known it was too good to be true. the vampires were working with a pack of werewolves nearby. they were ambushed. sam and dean had been fighting off a pair of vampires when suddenly–

crack.

it hadn’t come from either of them. sam’s head whipped around to look at y/n, who was clutching her arm close to her chest as she continued fighting off the three monsters who’d grouped up on her. her lips were cut and he could see blood pouring out of a cut above her eye. the beginnings of a bruise stained her cheeks. sam’s vision went hazy, wanting to help her but being so afraid that he couldn’t move. it wasn’t the monsters that scared him. it was seeing y/n hurt. he was frozen in place.

it wasn’t even five seconds later when he saw the last standing werewolf swipe at y/n, eliciting a yelp from her. she swung her silver blade quickly after and the werewolf’s head rolled across the floor. his body dropped, thudding when it went down. 

she followed soon after. y/n dropped to her knees. sam finally snapped out of the trance he was stuck in, rushing to her side. the sound she made when her knees hit the floor rang in his ears as he caught her, pulling her into him. 

his hands were covered in blood as he held onto her. it wasn’t his blood. nor the werewolves. it was hers. her blood was pouring out, staining her shirt and his and both of their hands. it scared him. there was oh so much of it and sam was panicking. 

his y/n. his sunshine. his wildflower. 

she was bleeding out at an alarming rate and he couldn’t do anything. he felt useless, so utterly useless in this moment.

“hey, hey y/n. sweetheart stay with me. please stay with me,” sam practically begged her, as though it would make a difference for her current condition. his voice cracked as he yelled out for dean. for his big brother to do something to save her. his heart was cracking, if not already broken. the tears built and built, finally spilling over like an old dam that couldn’t contain the flood. 

y/n could barely keep her eyes open as she laid there, weakly grabbing onto sam’s arms. she looked down towards her wound. the deep, jagged lines from the werewolf’s claws painted her abdomen. she whimpered at the sight. it burned worse than anything she could have ever imagined but the scream she wanted to let out got stuck in her throat, only building on the agony she felt. 

and the blood. there was so much blood. 

too much of it.

dean rushed over to where sam was holding y/n in his arms, clutching her close to him, like a child who didn’t want to share his favorite plushie. he was holding her so firmly, scared that if he didn’t then she’d somehow disappear. that she’d die faster. he couldn’t lose her, what would he do with her gone? how could he continue to live? 

sam looked up at dean and they exchanged a look, prompting dean to run outside. y/n could faintly hear dean calling out for cas before the weak pounding of her blood became too loud. 

“sam,” y/n rasped, her voice weak. she couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down her cheek. sam didn’t say anything, barely acknowledged that she said his name, not wanting the reality to set in of the situation. not wanting to accept that y/n was dying. the love of his life was dying and he could do nothing about it. he felt so utterly useless, thinking about the countless lives he’d saved, and yet he couldn’t save his love. 

the wounds were too deep to patch up and the nearest hospital was 20 miles away.

“sam,” she repeated, more urgently this time, before subsiding into a minor coughing fit. the blood started coming out of her mouth as well at this point. 

 “shhh, don’t speak sweetheart. you’re going to be okay. it’ll be okay. dean’s going to get cas. he’s going to heal you. it’s going to be okay,” sam said frantically. he was assuring himself of this as much as he was y/n. but both of them knew that this was the end for her. if cas didn’t get here in time then she would be gone.

her breathing became shallow as the blood pooled in her lungs. she felt like she was drowning. falling deeper. and deeper. she felt herself panic and her heart trying to pump more blood, so she could breathe but it just couldn't.

“y/n please stay with me,” sam pleaded. 

“i-’m sorr..y,” she croaked out. 

“promise me, y/n. promise me you-you’ll hold on. promise me that you’ll recover and, and come back. that we’ll live a long and happy life together. the one that we-we..ve always dreamed o-f. with-with a little cottage in the woods. we’re going to have three kids. three of them and a dog,” he trailed off on that last word as he sobbed, stumbling over words as he couldn’t keep himself together. 

“i need you to promise me that.” he begged her once again.

“i promise. but only if you pro-mi..se me-” y/n trailed off, getting weaker with every word she said, “that you’ll move o-n. if-if i die, sam, i ne-ed you,” she gasped for air, “to move on.” sam shook his head, but y/n whispered a measly, ‘please.’ sam, looking into her glistening eyes, once so full of life and now fading from him, and nodded.

dean ran into the room, and sam whipped his head around towards him only to be met with a disappointing shake signaling that cas didn’t come. 

“h-hey dean,” y/n whispered, coughing yet again only for more blood to come out, spilled over her lips and staining them red.

“hey, crazy girl. you’re going to be okay. don’t go pulling a me on us here, alright? heaven and hell are too crowded for you to be joining them,” dean said, taking one of her hands in his and weakly smiling at her. she chuckled weakly, as much as she could, before looking at him again with sad eyes.

“tak-ke care of sa-am for me. and take ca..re of yourself for me, to..o.” dean nodded at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, one final goodbye for his closest friend and the girl he’d been so excited to see finally get married to sam.

that future was blurred now. no longer an option.

“i lo-ve you, sam” she croaked out one last time, giving him the best smile she could. she wanted him to remember her smile above anything.

“i love you too, wildflower,” sam sobbed, wiping a tear from her cheek and pressing one final kiss to her lips.

and so her heart slowed to a stop. her eyes became devoid of life. her body was fully limp. unmoving. unwavering. sam’s heart had stopped along with hers. 

a final tear made its way down her cheek, like the last fall of snow in winter. 

the flap of wings that they had all been praying to hear had finally come. but it was too late. too late to save her, too late to get married and have the kids they’d once dreamed about, too late to build a home together. too late. 

the sound that came next made dean wince. sams sobs had turned into such agony, such rage that he screamed out as he held the body of his now-dead lover. he screamed at cas, cursing at him, the outburst so unlike him that dean had to look away, squeezing his eyes shut. 

the screams turned to silent weeping as sam held y/n’s body closer to him than before, his flannel and shirt now soaked in her blood. her limp body shook in his arms as he cried. 

and cried. 

and cried.

until he couldn’t anymore. his cheeks and eyes were raw and red from crying. he felt so worthless in himself and in the fact that he couldn’t save her. that he couldn’t get her back. the chapter of their lives had closed, the next page blank. he kept looking into her eyes, so lifeless it terrified him. the girl who made everything she touched full of life was gone. 

he’d never be able to hold her again. never see her smile, or the light shine in her eyes. so many never’s and what if’s filled his brain over and over. every new thought that seeped into his mind was so loud. it was like the thoughts were never ending, until a final thought filled his head.

the sunshine was gone and his wildflower was dead and his heart was broken, and there was no way to fix any of it. but he’d find a way. somehow. no matter how long or what it took. he’d get her back.

[lady-ashfade]

A day of thanks.

Dark yandere house of the dragon x Fem!reader

Plot: It’s the day of thanks in kingslanding and your family has tried to make it a good one. Though everyone was always fighting for you attention they toned it down just for you or, did it behind your back. You shared your thanks with everyone close to you, but that only lead to blood being shed. 

Taglist: @dangerousbluebirdpoetry @second-try-stevie @prettyinblack231

This is a bit darker then what I normal wrote but it’s not the long so it’s fine.

Warnings: Dark yanderes tendencies, yandere tendencies, obsession, unhealthy relationships, blood, death. And being the center of a crazy family. Also editing this late so I don’t even know what words even are.

“You look beautiful my lady.” Your maiden, Nrya spoke to you as she finished up dressing you. You looked at yourself in the mirror and gazed at your body. A red and green dress that you had made just to represent both family colors, you had thousands of dresses from red and black to green but this one was different. Green dangling earrings and a red gem necklace.

Your maiden caught you playing with the rings on your finger, “Is it not to your liking?” She asked and you quickly reassured her otherwise. “No it’s not that. I look good, you did a good job. But my thoughts are taken over about what the day will hold. It’s the yearly feast to celebrate one other but my family doesn’t really care for it.” Rolling your eyes at the many fights you have witnessed over the years.

“I just wonder if today will be any different. I want one day were my family acts like well, family. It’s just sometimes they get so caught up over their own petty reasons and just- Forgive me, I should not put my problems onto you.” Waving your hand to apologize and take her hand into yours. You heard her say you didn’t need to be sorry but you cut her off.

“I got you a gift.” Her brows frowned and her head tilted in confusion. “Me? Your grace I can’t not except-” Gigging you pulled her to your deck and sighed for her to wait. She crosses her hands and watched as you opened the drawer and pulling out a tiny bow. “I think you’ll like it.” You pushed out the box and she took it from your hands.

Cautiously and slowly she opened it up, you could tell she was nervous and didn’t know what to do. But when her eyes met the necklace of a small dragon figure with a red gem in the middle her eyes went wide. It was just like the one you had, it was something to cherish for the rest of her days. “I- I can’t not expect this.” You pushed out your lip. “You can and you will, it’s a order of the princess.” She laughed not know what else to do.

“I think you deserve to be well rewarded for helping and dealing with me for years. A good friend you become.” Grabbing the necklace you went behind her and she brushed her hair out of the way. “I would do it free of charge.” The smile never leaving your face as you clipped the chain together.

“But you never have too.” Placing you head on her shoulders as she looked at herself in the mirror. It was the same way you did earlier but the roles reversed. “Today is the day of thanks. You are someone I am thankful for.” Her cheeks flushed and tears in her eyes began to swell up. Nrya never felt this appreciated or loved. You always were kind to her. But this was something she never expected.

“As I am of you.” 

The morning was quiet to say the least. You spent time with the younger children to brighten your day before the day furthers. You had a small book in your hand reading some stories the children didn’t seem to care for since they were focused on their toys. The doors opened and you saw Alicent walk through in a beautiful green dress, her eyes met yours and her happiness showed.

“My daughter.” She walked over to you and kissed you forhead, “The gods gave me you to be thankful.” You smiled at her. “The gods gave me you as a mother. I think I’m more thankful.” She took your face into her hands softly while her eyes scanned your face lovingly. “That’s not possible.” Her attention stayed on your for a moment before she let you go and walked over to Aegons and Helaenas children.

The other child in the nursery were rhaenryas and daemons children. “Is it almost time for the festivities to begin?” Placing the book down. She agreed and kissed her blood grandchildren goodbye before heading back over to you and taking you arm in hers. “I have made sure to make the servants make everything you like.” And with that you both walk out and to the gardens outside.

When you arrived you saw your family actually smiling and looking like they were having a decent time. Aemond and Aegon were over by the wine, jace and Luke were by the small food platers, Helaenas was sitting at the table next to Otto both of them not saying a word but looking relaxed. Rhaenrya and daemon also sitting at the table but talking to Viserys who was at the frontend of the table.

Alicents grip on your arm while Aegon was the first to notice you. “Dear sister.” He called out and everyone turned their eyes onto you. Everyone wanted to get to you first but Aemond and Aegon were first to make it. “You look beautiful as always.” Alicent let go of your arm but aemond was quick to take you into his. Rubbing his back, “Thank you.”

He pulled back and stepped to your side but his arm still placed on your waist, Aegon smirked at you. “Did dressing take you all morning sister? I thought you died in the bath.” He joked. “I was spending time with the children.” You answered and he just rolled his eyes in return. The three of your focus turned to see the other brothers rushing over to you. Aemond almost didn’t let you go but you got away from him before he could do anything.

“Luke, jace.” You pulled them into a tight hug while they wrapped their arms around you. “I am mostly great full of you.” Luke muttered into your left. “I think I have him bet on that one.” Jace said in your neck on the right. Laughing as you pulled them both back. “Don’t let your mother hear.” They shook their heads but your heart flutters as jace takes your hand in his and kissed the skin. “I’m sure we all agree that you’re what we are thankful for the most.” Your cheeks heated up at the kind action.

Aemond and Aegon watched with a tighten jaw’s in jealously watching the boys get all your attention. The way you smiled and as jace kissed your hand made aemond want to kill him, Aegon was just jealous you weren’t paying him any attention. When you walked away to go to the table the boys stared at each other. Jace and Luke smirked at them showing they were proud to steal you away even for a second. Aemond’s eye darkened but he remembered his promise- What everyone promised.

That they would be civil for you.

“Darling.” Rhaenryas cheerful voice called out to you as she kissed your cheek, daemon pulled you in for a side hug and a pat. Since they were close to Viserys his attention was solely on you as he smiled up at you. “My dear girl.” He took your hand in his and you leaned over to kiss his head. “How are you feeling today father?” He just nodded his head and continued to smile. “The gods bless me on today. I feel nothing but happiness.”

“That’s good to hear.” He let go off your hand and you made your way over to Helaena and Otto while they eagerly awaited you. “I hope you both are enjoying yourself.” Otto smiled and nodded while Helaena patted her seat and you sat down next to her while there was some time to spar. You engaged in conversation with both of them when your attention went back on Helaena when she stared right into your eyes.

“Blood spilled over a chain.” She scared you for a minute because she seemed fearful but turned her attention to the plate on the table. Before you could question her everyone was called to the table and you had to change chairs. You got up and moved only a few chairs down, you sat at the end with your father and your mother on the other side. You were sitting across from rhaenrya and daemon to which they were happy about even though they wanted you to be closer to them.

“As the years have passed I have been welcomed to new faces to be great full for, my children, my grandchildren. All of you. I thank the gods each second, I hope that we can all stay as a family for the rest of our days.” He spoke in a breathy manner and grabbed onto your hand as he spoke. You raised your cup and agreed and everyone followed then their plates become full and everyone started to eat- Not before Alicent said prayer and you could hear daemon huff about it.

You watched as everyone was talking and laughing…It felt like a true family dinner. You’ve spent years trying to get them all together and today it was finally coming true. “I’d like to make a toast.” Raising yourself with your cup in hand. “I would like to toast to my father and mother, they took me in when I was a babe and to them I’m grateful. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. I have a family now and you all are the most wonderful people I have to love. To my brothers, to my sisters, to my uncle and grandfather and to my nephews and nieces. You truly are my blessing from the gods.” 

Alicent grabbed ahold of your other hand and squeezed it while everyone cheered and took a sip of their drinks. You watch as they continue to stare at you for a moment but then turn back to something else. “That was very heartwarming dear.” You look down at your mother to see her soft but overpowering eyes. “I was just speaking the truth.” You backed away from her and excused yourself while they all watched you leave.

���Should we follow her?” Aegon suggested. “Ser cole will follow her.” Daemon and rhaenrya shared a glance at alicents words. But you were just using the bathroom.

You were gone quite some time. You made a stop back to your rooms to get a servant to bring the gifts. Oh how you loved giving gifts, what special way to show your appreciation then giving the people you loved gifts. You couldn’t wait to get back to the gardens, you even brought one with you as you watched back with Ser Cole.

“What’s in the box?” He kept eyeing the long box you carried in your arms, it even going above your head because of the way you held it. “Do you really wish to know?” Raised a brow at him in a teasing way. “If you’re willing to tell me.” You giggled and stopped him then handed the box to him.

“It’s for you anyway I was just waiting but it might be better to do it here alone so the others wouldn’t get jealous.” He froze in disbelief and took the box carefully, “You got me something?” He was asking as if you were joking with him.

“It’s my thank you for protecting my mother all theses years and being someone I look up to.” He had to push his emotions down fearing he would cry at knowing you found him so special, and then he would hug you and he isn’t sure he would even let go. He teared the paper covering the box and placed it on the bench, he slowly opens it and you watche his every move. 

It was a sword. And really, really nice sword and the carvings and the tales on the handle were beautiful. But he looked at the middle of the blade and his name ran across it. “Do you like it?” You questioned making sure you didn’t mess up his gift and get him something he wouldn’t like.

Cole turned around quickly and pulled you into his arms not caring if he wasn’t even going to let go. If he was going to die he would love to do so in your arms, “I love it my princess.” He was delighted and you hugged him back happily. You both stood in the hallway hugging until he let go and you didn’t want to be rude and pull away first.

You made it back to the gardens a while later and you skipped back into the area your family was in. “I’m sorry I took so long, I was getting the gifts to share with all-” mouth ran dry as the pressure in your chest pulled you down and you forgot how to breath.

Blood.

There was so much blood.

Your family looked at you but you payed no mind as you looked at what was in front of you. Scanning your eyes you see a lifeless body on the ground of a woman, her head being chopped off and you looked for it’s head. The only thing you could do is fall to the ground and scream at the sight of your dearest friends head laying on the ground.

Your Nrya.

Ears falling deaf as you lost all feelings but panic and grief. You balled you eyes out, screaming for it not to be real while holding onto the ground for support. You felt your body being pulled into a warm embrace but you just continued to cry and only then did you hear the words you were always so blind to see.

“She was just a maid, you’re ours always my dear. You need no one else. You’re only going to be thankful for us.” The voice of rhaenrya whisper in your ear.

You looked over at her body and saw the necklace you got her laying on the ground covered in blood. You soon were told that’s why they killed her because they knew you were close to her. And they’d be damn to let another person be close to you because you’re only supposed to need them. You’ll come to learn in time…

No one else loves you the way they do.

[love-byers]

these 5 clips play back to back in the season 3 finale.

1. el seemingly comforting mike by touching their foreheads, caressing his face and hair. as this plays, hop says in his voiceover "For the first time...in a long time...."

2. jonathan comforting nancy by touching their foreheads, caressing her face and hair. as this plays, hop continues, "I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy."

3. mike walking away from el, who puts her hands on her hips, looks down, and stifles a sob. hop says nothing here.

4. the byers leaving their driveway for the last time. "But lately...I guess I've been feeling...distant from you."

5. mike watching them leave. "Like you're...you're pulling away from me or something."

this is not a coincidence. and before some of you start, with the "the goodbye scenes were all improv!!"

yes, i believe that the kids were given loose instructions and improved the hugs and such. what i don't believe is that the editors for this hit show with a huge budget just threw the footage together with no thought or intention. they went through the footage and took the clips they wanted and edited it together to tell the story they were trying to convey.

visual story telling.

they show a romantic couple sharing intimacy, cut to another romantic couple sharing intimacy, cut back to the first couple where one of them is walking away from their partner.

whats extra weird about that is that mike is the one walking away from el when el is the one moving across the country. wouldve made more sense to have el walking away from mike. but no.

and they don't show jonathan walking away from nancy.

the last time we see jonathan and nancy together they are tearfully saying goodbye, jonathan comforting nancy and caressing her face.

the last time we see mike and el together, mike walking away from el. leaving her while she's crying.

and the thing that reinforces this the most is the clip that plays right after: the cars and trailer pulling out of the driveway. that implies that that m11 scene is it. thats it. they show no more hugging, no more crying, no comforting, just mike walking away from el.

you really truly think that means nothing???

now lets pick up right after the last gif i showed. i really want you to remember these are happening one after the other. im not leaving anything out.

3 shots of hopper's empty cabin as he talks about fun things he did with el in the letter.

shot of el and joyce in the uhaul. when it cuts to el, hop says "I know you're getting older..." when it cuts to joyce, he says "...growing..."

mike looking back at wills house one last time and biking away. and when it cuts to him, hop says "...changing. And I guess...if I'm being really honest...that's what scares me. I don't want things to change."

will in jonathan's car, crying. jonathan glances at him. and looks back to the road. hop says nothing.

mike hugging his mom, not blinking once. as this plays, hop says "So I think maybe that's why I came in here. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were."

OKAY. clearly el isn't associated with mike here. she is associated with hopper. and perhaps that is what she's thinking about; their cabin and all the fun they used to have.

mike is associated with will.

mike looking at will's house -> will crying -> mike hugging his mom (when the last time we saw him hug his mom like that it was when he thought will was dead)

they are thinking about each other.

and i refuse to believe what hop says when mike is on screen means nothing. mike spent the whole season trying to change. pushing will away and trying to grow up, encouraging him to do the same. and at the last minute, as will is leaving to move across the country, he realizes he doesn't want things to change. he wants things to go back to how they were. and it scares him.

and the next time we see mike, he's in a dnd club. he's not acting like it's too childish. because he never truly felt that way. he was just trying to grow up.

this is some of the biggest byler evidence to me. its absolutely insane.

[hayleythesugarbowl]

can you do a one shot for courtney where the reader sees an edit of shane and courtney on her phone, and gets jealous/insecure but doesn't say anything. And courtney being able to see that there's something bothering r, but decides to wait till she comes to them. She doesn't, but Court mentions something about like a live with Shane and R makes a snarky comment and then it all just clicks and Courtney is quick to tell reader there's nothing she should be jealous of and they only love her.

Only You || Courtney Miller x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: when you begin to get jealous of courtney and shayne’s relationship, courtney assures you that you’re the one they love

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none

a/n: hope you enjoy this love!! i actually love this idea sm and it works perfectly for a short little fic <3💋🎀

edit: well this didn’t age well 🤭🩰 congratulations to shayne + courtney on their marriage!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Try Not To Laugh is starting in 30 minutes,” you heard one of the directors call. You were done with your makeup a little early, but that was ok. It would give you a second to relax before the shoot started. 

     You looked at all of your coworkers around you passing the time and you did the same thing, sitting down to wait and pulling out your phone to begin to endlessly scroll while you waited. That was as good a way to pass the time as any, right? 

     You were barely focusing on what you were seeing. Book recommendations, the newest makeup hack, out of context clips from some reality show.

     You sat up straight. The video currently on your screen caught your attention. It was a fan made edit of Shayne, one of your coworkers, and Courtney, another one of your coworkers who also happened to be your partner of nearly a month. 

     You watched in the video as a bunch of shots of Shayne and Courtney hugging and glancing at each other—and even one of them kissing—were put together while the words to a Taylor Swift song ran across the screen. 

     You gripped your phone tighter. You couldn’t look away.

     “Oh, I’ve seen that video,” you turned around to find Amanda watching over your shoulder. “Isn’t it amazing? Some of these fans are crazy talented. I almost believe they’re dating.”

     “Almost,” you managed through closed teeth. You knew Amanda didn’t know that you and Courtney were dating. How could she know when you’d been sure to keep it private? You hadn’t told any of your coworkers yet. But the comment still stung. 

     You shut off your phone and took a deep breath. The worst part was, this wasn’t the first one of these you’d seen. Sure, the most convincing maybe. But you had seen a number of edits centering around their relationship. Add that to the constant slew of comments shipping them, the infamous fanfiction you’d heard about, and everyone at Smosh’s comments about Shayne and Courtney being ‘work spouses’ and you could almost believe they were together too. 

     When you’d first joined Smosh (and started dating Courtney not long after) you’d recognized how close them and Shayne  seemed. You’d been ready to dismiss it as merely a friendship but lately you weren’t so sure. Did you have something to be worried about?

     “Hey guys, what’s up?” Courtney walked over to where you and Amanda were sitting. They smiled at you and you managed a weak smile back.

     “We were just—” Amanda started, but you interrupted her.

     “Nothing,” you told them. You did not want to have this conversation now. Because then you’d have to tell Courtney the truth and you definitely didn’t want to do that. How would they react if they realized you were that jealous and insecure?

     Courtney furrowed their brow, “Oh ok. I was just going to ask if (Y/n) wanted to run to get coffee with me before we start shooting.”

     You knew what they meant. Whenever you could, you and Courtney tried to sneak away to have a little alone time without everyone’s eyes on you. They now smiled at you expectantly but you honestly didn’t have it in you to pretend like everything was fine and that you weren’t questioning your relationship. 

     “I just had some coffee, actually,” you said smiling, “You go ahead.”

     Courtney looked at you like you’d slapped them in the face and you felt bad, you really did. “Oh ok, I’ll ask Shayne or someone if they want to come with.”

     As they started to walk away you suddenly didn’t feel bad anymore. You were sure they’d rather go with Shayne anyway. You were just helping them by getting out of the way, you thought bitterly.

     By the end of the week—a week filled with watching Shayne and Courtney talking and laughing and how had you never noticed this before?—you were ready to go home for the weekend. 

     You were headed out the door when you heard, “You ready to go?”

     You turned around to find Courtney standing there with their keys in their hand. You had forgotten that Courtney was your ride that day.

     You nodded and waited until they caught up to you before falling into step beside them.

     “It feels like this week went faster than usual,” they said, “Doesn’t it?”

     You nodded, thinking that actually it drug on and on and you couldn’t wait to be away from work, but you didn’t say anything of the sort and you saw Courtney turn to look at you while you kept your eyes firmly on the ground.

     “(Y/n), are you ok?” They asked you.

     “Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked back, attempting a smile. 

     You assumed they had probably noticed you acting differently that week even though you had done your best to act normal. But it was hard when you had to pretend everything was normal and fine when it wasn’t. 

      You kept walking. Courtney chattered on about their day and your coworkers throughout the whole long walk to their car. 

     “So, are you here on Monday?” They asked you.

     “I am,” you answered, “But only for a couple of hours. I have a few things to do and then I’ll be out. You?”

     “Same, but I have to be here early. I have a live with Shayne that I’m doing in the morning.”

     You kept walking but you clenched your fist tight. Of course. 

     “Oh?” Was all you could manage. 

     “We’re giving dating advice and stuff like that. Should be fun!” 

     “Yeah, well I’m sure you and Shayne would just love talking about dating together,” you bit out. You couldn’t help it. You didn’t mean to say anything to Courtney. To let them know what you were feeling. But it just came out. You couldn’t take it anymore.

      Courtney looked at you for a moment before realization dawned on their face. 

     “Is that why you’ve been acting strange lately? Because of Shayne and me?” Courtney asked. 

     “It just seems like you two are a lot more than friends,” you mumbled, embarrassed. 

     Courtney closed the distance between you and pulled you into an embrace. 

     “(Y/n), you don’t have to worry about that. Ever,” they said leaning back a little to look at you. “Shayne and I are good friends, but that’s it. I promise. Ok?”

     You nodded, “I know and I’m sorry, I was being stupid. It’s just—I don’t want to lose you.”

     Courtney rubbed your back. “You never have to worry about that. I love you. It’s you, (Y/n). It’s only you. I’m yours forever.”

     Tears spring to your eyes as you realized how foolish you’d been and how lucky you were to have Courtney. You loved them and they loved you. 

     You hugged them tighter as you said, “I love you, Court.”

     “I just wish you’d come to me,” Courtney said, “If you’ve been feeling this way for a while.”

     “I just didn’t want you to think I was a pathetic and jealous girlfriend all the time,” you said quietly.

     “Well, you have no reason to be jealous and you could never be pathetic,” they said, “and you can always talk to me. About anything.”

     “And I will,” you said, “from now on.”

     You both stood there in the silence for a moment before you they it.

     “So what do you say we get some coffee now?” They asked you. “Not with Shayne. Just me and you.”

     “I would love that,” you said, taking their hand, “I would love that a lot.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ I hope you enjoyed this, I adore writing for courtney!! have a lovely week <3

[randomfoggytiger]

Collector's Edition: Cars and Conversations (Part II)

Here we go again!

Loose chronological order below~

@o6666666’s (Ao3)

2 6 17 msr

In the rearview mirror she saw a forehead meant for a bullet. There was a full moon.

“Hi,” Scully whispered, like Melissa could hear her. “I’m so sorry.”

Post Paper Clip Scully drives to Mulder's apartment, unable to bear the loss of her sister alone.

like imagine scully pulling up in that fat car...

like imagine scully pulling up in that fat car they were driving, tires kicking dust everywhere, she thinks this is the address, this is where the intel said to go, this must be it but suddenly she’s nervous, she hasn’t seen mulder in so long, he must Know but what can she say to him....

AU-- S9 Scully drives out to New Mexico where she reunites with Mulder... and Will.

@sarie-fairy/Sarie_Fairy's

Since

“How ya doin’?” he coaxed, gently.

“I just, I’m having trouble believing that she’s truly gone.” She focused beyond the window and took a steadying breath. “That I won’t get to feel how Missy loves me. Not ever again. How she sees me...."

Post Paper Clip Scully and Mulder have a sister and father dead.

Eos

He got a speeding ticket on the I-95 getting to her; couldn’t wait around in an airport. Crazed, his neurons firing too slow for the terror in his heart compelling him forward, to catch up. Several near misses on his journey, though he somehow made it to the hospital before she was out of surgery—beating her mother, who flew. 

AU-- Tithonus Mulder drives the entire way, walks in, and drops the love bomb.

COLLECTION - One Shots - Chapter 10

She had been there less than two minutes and the passenger door opened. Time slowed down as a dark clothed figure began to lower down into the seat beside her. It only occurred to her then, with William slumbering in the back, that it could be a trap. She couldn’t see his face. She put her hand to the glove box, ready to reach for her gun, and then … a familiar voice.

“Hi, Scully.” 

AU-- "Dearest Dana" was a code for Scully and William to hit the road.

@silhouetteofacedar/SilhouetteOfACedar's

When We Drive, Ch. 2: Early Flights, Used Tissues, and a Swan (Ao3)

Mulder pauses with his key in the ignition. “If - when- this happens again,” he stammers, “You… you don’t have to hide it from me. I hope you know that.”

Pre-DPO Scully cries after hearing Melissa's favorite song.

@p34chi's 22 and 27 together from the prompt list perhaps 👀

“Hey, Scully,” Mulder said, turning the radio down. “You ever play an instrument?”

Scully’s head lulled against the headrest of the passenger seat as she turned her attention to her partner. She was quietly humming along to the radio before he cut her performance short, and had been gazing out upon the forest beside them, marvelling at the stillness of the trees and admiring the occasional wildlife that would step out into their moonlit spotlight.

Mulder and Scully share childhood memories, puns, and a blanket.

@mappingthexfiles/Apostrophic's The Patron Saint of Doomed Stakeouts

Mulder was twanging the tab on his empty soda, the can propped on his knees. He shifted uncomfortably.

“You can’t pee in that thing,” Scully said, knowing where this was headed.

“Define can’t,” Mulder said.

“Not in this car, you can’t.”

Mulder and Scully spend Valentine's Day on a beautifully snarky stakeout.

@amazalina's msr headcanons : Scully and long car rides

He’s always the one who drives, and she’d like to be better at pretending she doesn’t like it. It feels too safe for her not to. It’s not that he drives any better than she does. It just feels good to be driven across the country through strange places, to dangerous situations, by the one person she trusts the most. Tucked in the passenger seat, she’s completely safe to watch him as he looks straight ahead. She observes him, notices his thoughts go through his mind.

@nowwhateinstein's (Ao3) The Absence of Light

Scully awoke to a hand on her shoulder and Mulder’s voice speaking softly into her ear. “Hey, Scully, wake up.”

She sat up. “Mulder, where are we?”

“Just outside Harrisonburg, off of I-81. A slight detour.”

Mulder stops their car so he and Scully can watch the early-evening fireflies.

@skylandmountain1013/SkylandMountain1013's

42 msr, go!/Prompt- I swear it was an accident

“Mulder..”

“I swear it was an accident,” he offers. 

“An accident?” She rubs her temples to keep her voice from getting too shrill- the shrill he sometimes makes fun of when they’re arguing reincarnation, flesh eating parasites, or when he insists on ordering 2 desserts off the Chinese Star take out menu.

Mulder and Scully weather the heat after their car breaks down.

@syntax6’s (Gossamer, FFN, Omni)

20 Chapter 3: Three

They have a combined forty-three years of schooling between them, but there is little they can do in the face of a smoking black engine. Scully is half tempted to pull out her gun and shoot it, just for the satisfaction.

After the rental breaks down, Scully insists she and Mulder walk around until they find a signal.

20 Chapter 6: Six

He does not slow down. Neither does he answer her for a long moment. "Patrick Crump," he says finally, and she waits for him to continue. He maneuvers neatly around a slower car in front of them. "I can't shake that feeling. I feel that same desperation, Scully; I understand his intense need to keep moving in the face of inevitable doom."

She frowns and reaches for his head. "You have pressure in your ears?"

He ducks her touch. "Not there," he says. "Here." He touches his chest, and then looks quickly at her to see her reaction.

Post Drive Scully helps Mulder to realign his thinking.

@gaycrouton/OnlyTheInevitable's In the Dark of the Night

They walked as fast as they could towards the car, and, upon reaching it, she dug into his pockets until she found the keys. She unlocked it as quickly as she could before easing Mulder into the passenger seat. With the overhead yellow glow of the car lights, she could assess just how bad the damage was. His entire torso was stained crimson and his pale skin was covered in a sheen of sweat.

S3 Scully drives like mad to get her heroic but injured partner help.

@lotsoforangesoutside/@lotzzoforangezoutside‘s (Ao3)

A Waste of a Nose

Staring at him, she finds that Mulder no longer look as confident as he did earlier.

“I… so I called Hertz.” He begins, “it’s called Blackberry Clove. It’s the air freshener they used. I… I got a kick out of it. My favorite perfume is an air freshener. I just… wanna to share that.”

Post Syzygy Scully wonders what her father would have thought of Mulder.

Impromptu

“Hey Scully,” he says from the passenger seat, with the back of his head resting on the headrest and chair reclined.

That’s his sixth hey Scully since they’ve left Tallahassee. Mulder has refused the EMT’s advice to visit the Tallahassee Memorial Hospital, claiming that he’s got his personal doctor traveling with him. 

Post Detour Mulder wants to see America from the backseat with Scully.

Fireworks

“No talking later, Mulder.”

Out of the blue, she announces.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to be shouting back and forth. My throat’s been…hurting a little since this morning.” She rubs her eyes with one hand, looking like a child getting out of bed, “I might be coming down with somethin’.”

He bites his tongue so he won’t say, how come you didn’t say anything to me?

AU-- Post FTF Mulder drives Scully to see fireworks.

The Straightest Road in Texas

There is so, so much more to life, he now knows. And it’s right next to him, riding in this car, laughing at his memories. Well, laughing with him at his memories.

They have taken a lot of casualties last summer, but like the hero in the movies, he walks away with the girl.

Dating-- Mulder and Scully bond over a car guessing game.

ㄌ

He continues to drive, it’s so hot today that the asphalt could melt. There’s nearly no pedestrians around, and the sun is blaring so brightly that looking at it makes him dizzy.

Dating-- Mulder distracts Scully from fuming over the heat.

Barnes Corners

“Does a sailor’s daughter want to live at the same place as the fisherman’s daughter?” He keeps asking.

“That depends on which daughter you ask.” Scully admits that she has been thinking about Missy tonight as well. Both Pendrell and Max remind her of Charlie, who she hasn’t seen for a while....

“I’m asking the one that’s sitting in the car with me.” Mulder simply replies. “Would you like to live close to the water?”

Post Max Mulder fishes for future plans from Scully.

A Mother’s Choice

Scully did not put her baby down for the next five day. She felt like even William thought he had enough cuddling, as he began to look at her with slight concern, something so identical to his daddy when he worried.

“How ‘bout a trip, buddy?” She said to her baby, wondering how much an eleven-month-old could understand, and how crazy it was to travel with a baby, one who still needed his bottle at night, goes through diapers like they were bathroom tissues, and wouldn’t sleep unless she sang him a lullaby.

AU-- S9 Scully regrets the adoption; and TLG help her put her life back together.

The Old Man’s Choice

He went with the raspy-voice old man without telling anyone. He was a smart boy and knew he wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers, let alone getting into a car with him, but something told him that this old man, grandpa or not, really knew his birth parents.

AU-- S9 CSM takes William from his adopted family and hands him over to Mulder.

vanessadingle's Like A Switch Has Been Flicked Somewhere - Chapter 1

“Scully I always give you a ride, my cars right here see? A taxi will take a while to come, I can’t leave you standing here by yourself it’s getting late”

“I can look after myself Mulder, I’m a grown woman”

“And that’s why as a gentleman I have to offer you a ride. Get in, don’t be difficult, lemme make it up to you”

He was overly polite and it bothered her, but she could see he was remorseful even if he didn’t fully understand why he’d irritated her and she couldn’t turn him down no matter how hard she tried.

Post Syzygy Scully fumes to the airport, on the plane, and while Mulder drives her home.

Amy Schatz’s Syzygy, Once Removed...

"What's wrong, Scully?"

She didn't answer for a few seconds, as she slowed the car down even more. "I don't know. I'm shaking all over."

AU-- Syzygy Scully and Mulder's feud ends with their fear over her health and past abduction.

@atths–twice​/ATTHS_TWICE’s (Alt. Ao3, FFN) 

A Quiet Love - Chapter 11

They drove home in silence, though he could hear the questions she was not asking. Not having the right words, he stayed silent, his fingers gripping the steering wheel. 

Dropping her off, he only nodded when she said goodbye.

Post Pusher Mulder drops Scully home, breaks down in his car, and drives back.

Without an Umbrella

“Scully, we are on a highway where a car has not driven past us for at least 15 minutes. Neither of our cell phones are working, it’s pouring rain outside, and we are at least a mile away from the motel. Please tell me how lightening the mood would make any of this any better?” 

She stared at him, her eyes now as angry as his appeared. 

Mulder stews over Kersh's case until Scully gets out, stands in the rain, and definitively changes his mood.

Shared Treasures

“I’m gonna need an explanation,” she said and he nodded.

“So the doll wasn’t the only thing I found.”

“Obviously,” she laughed as he looked at the car in his hand.

Post Empedocles Scully teases Mulder with the pizza man while he vroom-vrooms a little car over their soon-to-be baby.

A Patchwork Heart

He filled the silence in the car, chatting about everything. It was very different from any other man she had traveled with in the past. Jack usually had a topic planned ahead of time, thus the car ride was spent wisely, as he used to say. Ethan liked listening to classical music and for the short time they were together, she heard more Bach and Beethoven than she ever wanted to hear again. 

But Mulder, though not her boyfriend, thus not an entirely accurate comparison, loved to discuss anything and everything.

Post Revival Scully ruminates over past driving excursions.

30xf's Wetwired

Once Dana is in the passenger seat, Mrs. Scully grasps my forearm and assures me, "I'll call you when we know something." It was only a momentary touch, but it somehow makes me feel completely at ease. All at once I understand without a doubt where Scully gets all her strength from.

Wetwired Mulder reassures Scully.

Macspooky's

Home from the Hospital

She smiled when she saw him. It lit her tired looking face.

"I'm free. Let's go." Dana picked up her small bag and they headed for his car. The ride to her home was silent. When they pulled up in front of her building, she turned to look at him.

"Would you come in for a little while, Mulder? I'll make you some of my gourmet coffee, and I know my mother left one of her chocolate cakes."

Post Wetwired Scully wants Mulder to drive her home.

The Reprimand

Dana felt herself being moved or thought she did. Her face was no longer pressed against glass but rather against a familiar and comforting warmth. She felt something brush the top of her head, gentle lips. The words "I'm sorry," were whispered quietly. She was somewhere half between being awake and asleep in a twighlight world of incredibly pleasant dreams. It didn't feel like a dream though. The words were so distinct and the touch so real.

Post Paper Hearts Scully gets flak from all sides after Mulder's foolhardy decision.

A Long Drive Home from Rhode Island

She might know he needed sleep, but she would never convince Fox Mulder.

"Not a word, Mulder," she warned. "I'm tired, but you are exhausted. I'm driving."

Talitha Cumi Scully drives Mulder while Tena is being transferred.

Breaking the News

As much as he didn't like the idea of the older woman driving alone to Pennsylvania, he could see by the set of her mouth that she was determined. He had learned about that expression from her daughter. Unlike his mother, Maggie Scully was capable and sensible. And, though he hated to admit it, Margaret was right.

Memento Mori Mulder tells Maggie in person.

Anonymous's (mulderscreek, annex-files) Lament

He held his throbbing ankle off the ground. All that driving hadn't been good for it. Scully would kill him if he couldn't walk tomorrow. He closed the car door and limped rather slowly towards the house. He looked at it with trepidation but the house failed to loom menacingly. It was as pleasant as could be, not the malicious building it should have been.

Post Herrenvolk Mulder and his mother surprise each other at the summer house, then spend the rest of his birthday bonding.

@scullydubois/scully_dubois's

Bridge - Chapter 1

…As their rental car rumbles along toward the airport, Mulder keeps himself awake at the wheel by trying to read his partner’s mind. Stubborn skeptic that she is, he figures he’d need cold hard proof to convince her. And what better way to harmlessly yet accurately read someone’s mind than with a game of I Spy?

AU-- Post Unruhe Mulder admits he heard Scully's German and pleas, somehow, in his mind.

story_monger's Searching Souls - Chapter 1

Scully takes a deep inhale. “You know you shouldn’t have said that Cancer Man was the Gestapo officer,” she says.

Mulder shifts; she can feel him looking at her. He probably has that slightly resigned, slightly defiant expression that always rings with a touch of kicked puppy. Scully hates that expression; it makes her feel like the bad guy.

Post TFWID Mulder convinces Scully to believe his theory, even if only for one night.

EPurSeMouve's Joining You

Reach him, make contact, get him back...

"Mulder, Samantha *is* the X-Files. Nothing else matters, right?" She hated saying it, hated the rainy-night memory that flashed through her mind, full of innocence and closeness.

He took his eyes off the road for a few dangerous seconds, met hers. "Not anymore," was his oh-so-quiet reply.

S4 Mulder tries to run off on a possible suicide quest-- Scully, however, won't let him go alone.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[storiesforallfandoms]

showing pedro pascal fan edits ~ h.c

warnings: the tiktok edit (y’all know the one)

it started as a harmless q&a you were doing on twitter

through the sea of questions you were receiving about your upcoming work and your recently announced relationship, you were linked a video with the question: “have you or pedro seen this yet?”

when you clicked on the video, pedro’s familiar face popped up on your screen with his normal voice being replaced by his southern accent

“i’ve got a six pack of cold ones on ice and my roomies out all night, so you can scream my name as loud as you need to sugar”

“hey sexy lady, i like your flow”

you giggled to yourself as you let the video repeat a couple of times

well, now that you knew this existed, and apparently it was such a big thing in pedro’s fandom, you knew you had to tease them a little bit

you answered the fan’s question: “can confidently say this is the first time i’m seeing this video, but it certainly will not be the last time”

and of course, the internet went wild over your answer

that one fan edit was all it took for you to download tiktok, and it did not take long for your page to be completely full of pedro fan edits

you were keeping this to yourself at first

you weren’t sure what pedro’s reaction would be, not only to the videos, but also to the fact that you watched them so religiously

but one day, he entered the room while you were deep into your fan edit viewing time, and you weren’t quick enough to turn it off before he heard his own voice

“what are you watching?”

he was quite amused

knowing you were caught, you decided to show him

he didn’t seem to understand at first

“what is this?”

“it’s a fan edit”

“what’s a fan edit?”

“it’s when fans put together some of their favorite clips of the person they like with music playing in the background in a stylistic way”

you offered to show him more since his curiosity had now peaked

of course, you had to show him the one that started it all off

his face blushed so hard when he watched it

“people make these for me?”

“people make a lot of these for you, honey. i’ve been watching a lot of them for, like, a week now”

you showed him a couple more

with each video, he just becomes more flustered, but also more flattered

“they love you, baby! you’re the internet’s favorite person”

“i don’t think i’d go that far”

“i would”

he wasn’t too interested in seeking out these edits on his own, but he definitely shows interest when he catches you watching them

“what are they making about me today?”

and when he is chosen to host snl, of course he has to make a joke about it

“they’re gonna lose their minds when they see this sketch”

you may have some apologizing to do to the internet for what you have done

but at the same time, you loved to see how happy and flustered pedro got whenever you showed him a new fan edit

[rainbowsky]

Hi RBS,

Hope you are doind good !

I saw a lot of discussion on the bird app about the editor on the boat being a creep with WYB.

He looked really comfortable and happy to me. I have not seen him smile so much at an event in recent times…

So, wanted to know if I am reading the situation wrong ..

Hi Choko! I'm doing well, thanks - hope you are too! 💛.

Rocco Liu was not weird in any way with DD. They have known each other for years, and seem to have a normal relationship. DD does not look even remotely ill at ease, so if people think that he was being a creeper, then it only follows that DD was okay with it. Is that what people are trying to put out into the world? 🤔

One thing that I find frustrating about the fandom is that there seem to be quite a few people who try to look for something negative or melodramatic in everything that happens.

This is especially true when it comes to DD. People are constantly trying to make it out like he's crying or sad or unhappy or angry or even hostile or 'rude'. It seems like some people do not know how to read his demeanor at all.

There was a hot search on Weibo during that boat ride, something like "GQ awkward boat ride" or something along those lines. I think it's understandable that people found the boat ride a little bit awkward. I think the whole boat concept in general was awkward, not just with DD but all of the stars. But at least all of the other stars only took a minute or two to get across the water. They seemed to intentionally drag the final boat ride out and it ended up two or three times as long as the rest of them.

EDIT: If you're wondering why there was some tension at times, here's what their view was from the boat:

Awkwardness is one thing. I think anyone with a million spotlights on them taking a weird boat ride that was two or three times longer than necessary could be forgiven for appearing to look forward to the thing being over. 😅😅😅 But to start trying to create all these other kinds of melodramas around it... it doesn't serve any useful purpose besides pointless negative gossip.

During the boat ride both of them looked like I think you or I would have looked; at moments relaxed and laughing, and at moments feeling a little bit 'deer in the headlights'. But toward each other they seemed overall pretty at ease.

In fact DD looked more relaxed than he would have with a lot of other people. He didn't behave in a formal way at all, and I think we all know how formal he can be with people he's uncomfortable with.

Rocco is rumored to be gay, which makes sense because he reads to me as a very queer guy. He reminds me so much of certain kinds of queer guys I've been close with. Sort of a Nie Huiasang meets Jesse Tyler Ferguson, if I can put it that way. 😅

Gay or not, he seems like the kind of guy I think DD would be comfortable around at times, and other times vaguely annoyed by, just given Rocco's social exuberance and how different it is from DD's quiet, calm personality. But every time I've seen him and DD together they've looked mostly relaxed - even in the clips where people are claiming DD looks uncomfortable - and Rocco has behaved respectfully and professionally toward him.

And I have to say it because it really stands out in this situation: I hope to hell this 'creeper' take isn't motivated by homophobia. There are a lot of people who assume the worst of any overtly queer person, or assume that all homosexuals are always on the prowl.

It's one thing to read a relative stranger weirdly, though, it's another thing entirely to read DD in negative ways.

This type of thing is really nothing new. Every time DD appears in public my inbox fills with claims DD looked sad, or lonely, or upset, or uncomfortable, or even angry or rude. This is one of the hazards of being a pretty calm guy like DD is.

I know this all too well as an autistic person who doesn't have a lot the kinds of facial expressions I'm apparently expected to have. My face is almost always pretty neutral.

Throughout my life I've had to deal with people thinking I'm mad at them, upset, unhappy, sad, and on and on and on. I've had people come to me with entire stories in their head about what I'm thinking and feeling, and why - stories they've cooked up around their own insecurities and expectations, which are totally inaccurate.

And it's always struck me as odd that people would think such things. I don't hide my feelings. I'm pretty direct and forthright, and I don't deal in hints or subtext or try to lead people down a psychological path or play mind games. I don't have any time or patience for that kind of thing - not from either side of the situation.

DD is the same way. He doesn't mess around or perform social behavior the way he's expected to. He doesn't make himself out to be fakely exuberant or cheerful, nor does he hold back his honest feelings when something bothers him. He doesn't conform to expectations or put on a show for people. He's just himself.

Most of his fans have come to understand this about him and have grown to love his honest, authentic, straighforward personality and accept that with DD, 'what you see is what you get'. But there are some people who still seem to read things negatively and expect him to be someone he isn't.

That's my take on it, anyway. Everyone will have to make up their own minds about how to interpret things.

Edit: If you are wondering whether DD is comfortable with Rocco, you might want to take a look at this clip.

For those who missed the event posts:

My GQ MOTY posts

Boat ride

Brick red carpet

[stupendousfoxthing]

To your last anon, I always thought that hybe would have loved to monetize on tk's huge clout together if that didn't posit a risk( they are a corporation it's all about clout and money) i know people think differently as in them being shown together wouldn't have been risky but if they were the official company ship the ppl who like them as a couple would have been the triple than they are now, that means more people paying attention to them in that context, more ppl who wants to find something more, just like jikookers do, the difference? Jikookers won't find anything ever bc there's nothing to find, they are friends and bandmates, so them being the official company ship is as safe as it can be, tk's case is not the same.

Now it's funny bc the moment the tae//nnie bs started I told my friend that we probably could except a bit more of tk content coming from the company and I wasn't disappointed lmao, this is my view: thanks to that rouse Tae is seen by the world as a straight man who was/is (many locals dont even know about the break up news)in a relationship with a female idol and that also takes off legitimacy from the ppl who noticed stuff about him and his bandmate, it's just shippers delusions, even many ppl who suspected tk left the wagon after that.

So yeah I think hybe can afford to slightly show them more and monetize (and that also includes aiming to not lose much of the many different demographics that "consume" the BTS members during their absence and shippers are part of the this) that compared to before and still in a very controlled way, there is a bit of a risk mitigation with this companies' pushed rumor which is of course still not enough and hence the still controlled bc the risk is still present and as you said we have to take into account tk themselves, their priority is protecting what's important to them too, if you see the most content from the company we have seen of them together lately is just them being close (which they always were);and supporting each other, nothing super big or elaborated, not them putting on a show or being put on a show or anything, the only reason is noteworthy and has jikookers crying is bc years ago even that was something that wasn't shown (eg burn the stage etc).

I have a lot more opinions on the company's way of moving but I'm keeping it short 🫶

There are so many interesting layers to the way the company deals with Taekook, and to how the fandom perceives and feels about them. Where a lot of Taekookers think they've been too extreme in underselling or undermining their bond in official content, I don't think it's been quite as bad as most do. They still get featured quite a bit, I mean BV and In the Soop have shown us some classic Taekook moments. And they did start out capitalizing on that, the Bon Voyage cuddle was teased in promo images and then eventually included in bonus content. That moment making it into official content still blows my mind. I think it's a pretty intimate moment, I've gone over the clip so many times and believe there are kisses exchanged. It's wild. But 2016 is where the most noticeable shift happened. At the same time, I have also felt they do a little too much at times with the editing and it results in some weirdness, and that because heteronormativity covers for _a lot_ they could probably get away with showing more. That bias is so strong and engrained in everyone. But you make a great point about there being an added inherent risk for something that would need to be hidden, even if it's something most people would brush off. Like I've said before, I'm not a fan of the company for many reasons but if what they're doing is what they actually think is the best way of protecting them it's easily understandable. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, sorry it took so long for me to get to answering this.

[luvtonys]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞/𝐒𝗼𝐟𝐭! 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐇𝗼𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐆𝐍! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝗼𝗺𝐬

*𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑*

Warnings: Yandere behavior, mentions of murder (not detailed but enough to get the picture) and guilt tripping, anger, outrage, and angry outburst

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ༄シ

A/N: I won’t really talk about stranger things itself in this it’s more focused on Jane and the reader something went wrong when making the soft headcanons it wouldn’t let me so am gonna have to edit it later

—————

𝑌𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒! 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ༄シ

You most likely met if you found her when she escaped or she met you in school. Either way she is sticking to you like glue and is very clingy. She always gets scared that you’ll leave her when she sees you hanging out or talking to someone else especially Angela. She has a lot of pent up trauma so except her to go to you crying her eyes out and blabbing out about how she’s scared Angela will steal you away from her or how you won’t have any time with her because if you friends. Like I mentioned shes clingy so she’s happy and recommends that you take her with you and your friends so she can make sure their not putting negative things about her in your head saving you from her.

Jane is definitely one of the sweeter Yanderes even though she always wants to spend time with you it’s always really heartfelt and sweet. Like going roller skating while holding hands or even eating waffles together and watching sunsets in the park. The only downside is she tends to get angry and want to leave when other girls/guys eye you down seductively or just too long for her comfort. But other than that she’s really thoughtful and loves to exchange gifts or just celebrate on you guys’s anniversary.

Her love language is physical touch and spending time together. She loves to go places with you no matter where it is even if it’s the store she’ll still cherish as a loving memory. Or even cuddling or laying in your lap or on your shoulder. She’s also the type to find you cute when your sleeping. Loves to do your hair and put accessories and clips in it and loves when you do her hair and whenever you do she’ll take pics and hang them up in her room or try to keep them in for however long she can and will even ask you to do her hair more often.

If Angela ever bullies you or hits and touch’s on you not only will she hit her in the nose with her skate but will bash her head in with said skate. Let’s just say it took time for Jim to get used to you but given how Jane acts when she can’t be around you is scary so he’s a little bit scared for you she almost destroyed the house. She loves when you tell her about things you love and your interest and will look into them wether it’s a genre of music, an artist, movies or tv shows she’ll listen/watch them so she can discuss them with you and it could be you guys’s little thing together. 9/10 she’s very loving and sweet but her Yandere behavior is very scary especially given with her powers.

—————

𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡! 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ༄シ

Soft! Jane is really just Jane normally she’s always soft and adoring at everything about you. She’s the type to like certain habits and little things that you do so she’s always notices the small things. Like your smile, your eyes, your hair.etc. Hopper will still be checking in on you guys and on your heels about anything intimacy he things you guys may do. But eventually he will calm down and get more used to you. I feel like Jane would be one of those people who like doing cute little thing with you like watching a movie and most likely sharing popcorn.

She also loves to take walks on the beach with your hands intervened together. Or even just cuddling while watching tv. You’ll have to explain a lot of relationship things to her and how they work. She’s new to it so the butterflies in her stomach when she sees you does kinda scare her. Being the clingy social butterfly she is now she’ll always be walking up to you and starting small conversations with you, wether it be the things she enjoys or something you

-have an interest in that she just happened to hear about. She’s always happy when you guys are partnered up to work on school work together. And loves the thought of being in your room and tells you how beautiful it is and how much she loves it she quickly learns your favorite color and more thing about you because of your room and will even start up conversations with your during the project. And even complements your hand-writing.

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts day 76

From this prompt list. If you’ve read this far, I’m not sure you need any explanation, but the short version is I hadn’t written any fiction since 2019, I set a goal to write at least 150 words/day in 2024, and this list was my way to restart. Also I abruptly decided on day 2 I would write an entire Tim/Damian story connecting all the prompts, because I am Good at Judging My Limits. /sarcasm Anyway, I finished the rough draft a while ago and am now unlocking the old entries as I edit.

Read from the beginning here, or on ao3 here.

Days 71-75 here

***

147. "Fuck, you have such a tight hold on me, you don't even know."

***

Tim pulled out every shred of his acting training and then some to get through the next hour. Damian woke up again after a 20-minute nap, made a face over having to put on the same clothes he'd worn the night before, and then kissed Tim goodbye before leaving.

On the cheek.

He didn't seem to notice anything wrong, for which Tim was grateful. Because he knew he didn't have the right to feel literally anything about Damian having slept with Jon. (There was no other real possibility for a partner, of course.) He especially didn't have the right to be outraged that Damian had allowed Jon to fuck him while saying he didn't want Tim to do the same. It wasn't as if he belonged to Tim. It wasn't as if they'd had a conversation about exclusivity. It wasn't as if Tim had even known he wanted Damian to choose only him, before he'd seen those bruises and instantly realized what had happened.

It wasn't as if Damian getting fucked by Jon took something away from Tim.

But goddamn, it felt like a violation.

Fortunately, he had work of the overt and covert varieties to keep him occupied. Everyone at the office had stopped giving him concerned looks, which was good—at least he wasn't completely losing his shit—and he was able to focus on his previously neglected projects. It was amazing what not experiencing constant emotional pain could do for a person's motivation, even with the throbbing in his ankle to replace it.

Unfortunately, he also remembered his previously developed (and since neglected) facial recognition program algorithm and couldn't stop himself from calling up the results of weeks of searching for Damian's face during the time period Tim had been avoiding him.

Damian was good. Very good. In the same time span most people would have been captured hundreds if not thousands of times by cameras. Tim found only a couple dozen matches for Damian, and two of those were false positives. That wasn't surprising, although Tim found himself smiling with involuntary pride when he reviewed the statistics.

On the other hand, it became immediately apparent that, far from spending his time rotating between several different partners, Damian had mainly focused on one. Oh, sure, there had been a few weeks when he and Nika had appeared to be spending a significant amount of time together, but they had come to an abrupt end with no further contact. But Jon was the real problem.

Tim watched, then rewatched the video feeds. Scraps of time, each of them, mere seconds in Damian's life before he got them to a more secure location, but Jon had never seen much point in subtlety when it came to Damian. In those few clips there was way more open attachment between them than Tim would've ever wanted to see.

So stop looking, dumbass, he told himself.

Instead, he played them again. Damian's eyes were so soft when he looked at Jon. He was far too wary with Tim to be the same when they were together.

Because Tim had trained him to be.

Tim swallowed against the complicated mass of hurt, fury, self-recrimination, and longing tying his throat into a knot. This was why it was stupid to want things. It was too distracting. And what if in the end you didn't get them? Stupid.

He needed to quit looking.

He pushed play again.

***

Tim was grounded from patrol because of his ankle, so he spent the nighttime hours reviewing the information Jason had added to their shared folders and listening in to the comms with a desultory ear. Weirdly, it looked like the organized crime connections Jason had uncovered revealed two similar but separate operations that converged into a single point in the Metropolis-Gotham arenas. Tim frowned, clicking through the transcripts of various interviews and interrogations Jason had conducted. It was unusual for two different organizations to cooperate at one particular juncture of operations like that. That would indicate something or someone bigger than both pulling their strings together.

Every once in a while he would have to talk himself out of clicking back to the open tab of video surveillance footage of Damian and Jon. Sometimes he even succeeded.

A tapping on the nearest window pulled him away from the computer screen while he was watching it again and cursing himself for idiocy at the same time. Damian, as Shrike, hung upside down on the other side of the pane. Tim hurriedly closed the video and hobbled to the window.

"In costume? Not very subtle," he said, shoving it open. He couldn't keep his smile completely dampened, though.

Damian slipped in, feet first, with an unnecessary but very pretty full rotation on the grappling line. "Everyone knows Batman is underwritten by WE; if someone sees, this will simply be interpreted as a consultation between mutual interests." He tapped his domino to clear the lenses. "Which it is. What are you working on?"

"The human trafficking case, actually." Tim closed the window and limped back to the computer. "Jason's uncovered some weirdness with the flow of commerce, so to speak. Check out the video for this interrogation."

He called up the footage from Jason's mask. A redheaded man with shoulders like a bulldog's and a pugnacious glare to match on his bearded face sat zip-tied to a chair in what looked like a warehouse filled with shipping containers.

Jason's voice, distorted by his mask, asked, "And where do the Russian connections start moving the women and kids?"

"What fuckin' Russians, you freak?" the man spat out, Southwest twang clear in his voice. "Fuck them, they got nothing to do with us."

Tim paused the video. "That's pretty much the response from both sides until he got to the Eastern seaboard. After that, they start spilling a little more, but I'm guessing the reaction is genuine from most of the people further west. Which makes me think there's someone running the show from our part of the country, with enough power to make Russians and Irish Mob play nice."

"Which is quite a bit of power." Damian rubbed his chin. "Maybe actual villain levels of power."

Tim smiled. Although the entire family were skilled investigators, few of them were able to draw conclusions as quickly and accurately as Bruce and himself. It was always nice to work with a brain that moved in the same direction as rapidly as his own. "Right. So now we're left asking who that is. This time."

"I can ask Jon to keep an ear out on his side," Damian said.

And just like that, any pleasure in their interaction fled, banished by mingled rage and hurt. Tim busied himself clicking randomly on various open tabs to hide his face. "Oh. Are you going to go visit him again?"

Whatever his voice did caught Damian's attention. Tim could see his head cock in inquiry in the reflection on the screen. "I hadn't planned on it, but he can be here in less than a second regardless."

"Yeah, I bet he comes fast," Tim muttered, smashing a click on the trackpad with unnecessary viciousness.

Quick as a thought, Damian reached past him and flipped the laptop shut. "Why are you angry?"

"I'm not." Tim flipped the screen back open again.

It slammed shut almost before he could yank his fingers out of the way, then was gone, tossed onto a nearby sofa cushion by Damian. "Let me revise the question. Why are you angry, and why are you lying about it?"

Tim gripped the edge of the table, hard enough for the wood to make his palms sting. One deep breath. Another. Don't lose your shit for no reason. The problem was, there was a reason. It was just a bad one.

Damian circled around and leaned on the table beside his hand, one careless hip on the surface. "You changed when I mentioned Jon. Do you not want him involved with the case? He doesn't have time to work with us anyway. He would just be listening for a name and reporting it to us if he heard it."

Tim's jaw clenched around the words but couldn't quite corral them. "I bet he'd make time for you."

"Wait." Damian reached for his chin. Tim jerked it away, knowing it was petty but unable to stop himself. Damian ignored that and grasped it between his thumb and forefinger too quickly for Tim to repeat the action. He examined Tim's face, eyes narrow. "Are you seriously angry about my having spent time with Jon? He's one of my oldest friends. One of the few who exist, as a matter of fact."

"It's not you 'spending time' that pisses me off, Damian." Tim rose to go get some water and maybe cool down in the process, but Damian blocked his path.

"Then what is it? Don't run. Your avoidance of direct conflict is downright pathological sometimes."

Tim clenched his fists at his side. He wanted to deny the accusation, but it was too justified. "Okay, one, I can't run anywhere right now, and two, I don't have any right to be angry and I know that, so just let it go."

Damian reared his head back, shock making his mouth drop open the slightest bit. Tim didn't have time to enjoy the unusual effect he was having because Damian's lips immediately curled into a sneer of disbelief. "Are you angry because I slept with him? After your enthusiastic endorsement of me fucking my way through the younger superhero set? Your hypocrisy knows no bounds."

Tim shoved past him. "It's not that."

Again, Damian refused to give him space, stalking ahead of him to stand in front of the fridge, arms crossed and brow stormy. "You're going to give me a straight answer."

"Fine!" Tim threw his hands in the air. "I fucking hate that you let him fuck you! You told me before I left that you didn't like that, but clearly you found out you did like it as long as it was with him, and it's killing me inside to know you trusted him with something you weren’t willing to do with me!"

Damian, for once, seemed completely nonplussed. He stood there, unmoving and unreacting except the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and said nothing.

Tim dropped his arms again, breath labored with fury and humiliation. "Are you happy now? I know I'm being irrational and a hypocrite and I hate that too. But I don't wanna share. Fuck, you have such a tight hold on me, you don't even know."

Damian opened his mouth and closed it a few times, wordless, in the following silence. Finally, he managed to say, "I cannot know what you do not tell me."

Tim hugged his own torso, miserable with having exposed himself. "Well. Now I've told you. So you can go laugh at how pathetic I am with Jon or whatever."

"That is unfair."

They stood, frozen, for a few more moments. Damian broke first and stepped forward, his arms reaching as if to embrace Tim before he yanked them back. Tim struggled with himself, sick of his own weakness, but then he couldn't keep up the pretense of a desire for freedom any longer. He moved to lean his forehead against the armor protecting Damian's heart and said, low-voiced, "I'm sorry. I know it's ridiculous of me."

Damian stripped his gauntlet off with his teeth and fit one big hand around the back of Tim's head. "Don't apologize. It's flattering." He caressed Tim's hair, settling him. "Does this mean you wish us to stop seeing other people?"

Nice of him to assume they would both need to stop. Tim nodded into his chest, still feeling too foolish for words to come easily.

Damian's smile curved against the top of his head. "Very well. I'll explain more when I come see you again later, but I'm amenable to that as well." He drew back and kissed Tim's forehead. "Put some ice on that ankle and elevate it. I'll return after patrol."

He left before Tim could do more than blink in surprise.

"Okay, then, guess I should have meltdowns more often," he said to the empty room.

days 77-83 here

[gardengobbo]

April 30th 2024

Not much of a garden update here, but I assure you there has actually been some progress. So here's a photo of one of my dove frens I took one the 28th.

Keep readin' if you wanna hear me blab on about the video posts and ADHD. You've been warned, it's long 😂

So I've been enjoying doing the video-style posts instead of typing 90 paragraphs of nonsense, but I don't want to keep recording with my phone since the videos take up a bunch of space. (As well as me having to take off my dirt-coated gardening gloves every time I want to record.) I could just delete the clips after editing into one video, or just all of them after uploading, but I prefer having things backed up instead of just uploaded online.

I know I could back them up to my computer too, but part of the reason I enjoy the quick clips of nonsense slapped together with minimal editing is because it's simple and I can do it all on my phone. Either plugging it into my computer or even uploading them to Google Drive on my phone then downloading them onto the computer adds extra steps.

Extra steps that seem inconsequential, but something I know about myself is I'm very all or nothing. It's very hard for me to only do half of a thing. In this example that'd be editing the videos together and then hitting the block that I've finished that part and uploaded, but now I need to plug in my phone to the computer to transfer the video files. Or if I back them up to drive, it only has so much space before it yells at me to upgrade lol

Drive seems like the most logical option though as it would give me the freedom to at least have more time before I have to download the backups, however I know for a fact that when that point comes I won't record any more videos even if I want to because I need the space to back them up, but I dont want to sit down on the computer to download the Drive backups because I'm doing other things and will get distracted if I do.

This is a struggle for me in a lot of aspects, can't do Z because I need to do X but I can't do X until I do Y, and I need to finish ABC before I can do Y, but all I really want to finish is Z. And worse is that most times to do Z, there isn't any need for the other stuff. It's just me wanting Z done in a certain way that to do it that certain way, it requires all those other steps. This happens in the garden a lot too, so this rant is kinda still relevant 😅

Thankfully all of that hasn't caused an issue with me just not doing garden things because I want to record it, because trust me when I say that's happened a lot in the past too. (That being me wanting to make a little video of something but not being able to figure out how I want to set up the cameras so I don't do the craft or whatever because I want to record it so it just never happens but sticks in my brain as the thing I want to do but can't till I figure the recording process out.) Depression is the reason why I haven't been gardening 🤣

All this to say I have like, 2 days worth of clips I want to edit into a post to show the progress so far. One day is clips on my phone, the other I recorded with a little action camera and I'm not sure how that's turned out yet since that requires me to upload to the computer to see better. (See computer related snag above as to why thats not done!) Today I might go even further and just bring out my small digital camera I got years ago to do vlogs with, that I never vlogged with.

Which leads me to my last point, and Ima make a poll for thoughts on the idea after this post cause I know this is a lot to read and most folks won't care, and that's fine! I think maybe I will use that camera for vlogging finally. I'd have to learn how to use an actual video editing software, and it'd have to be lightweight cause my once-top-of-the-line-parts-now-10-years-outofdate computer struggles hard to play Helldivers 2 right now, I can't imagine trying to run something like Premier Pro. But to be honest all I want to do is add auto-captions like Ive already done previously so I'm sure I can fine some free or cheap program to do so. I'm just not sure if like, amateur gardening vlog style videos where I mutter to myself as I pour dirt is really a genre of content lmfao. And if it is, it's probs better off on here or tiktok but I'm going insane trying to not film landscape everytime I go to record something.

So like, I dunno, I guess youtube? I can probs figure out how to sorta make it acceptable for portrait orientation viewing after the fact? I have no idea but if there's a gap in video updates for today, that's why 🤣

Alright that's all for now. I gotta get up, get sunscreen'd, and get out there! As long as it's not raining still... it was last night 😅