#it was HARD finding a 'z' that fit the aesthetic i needed so

[asarahworld-writes]

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S missing scenes

The Pink Suit

Zed looked at the charity bin.  It was a long shot that anybody had actually made a donation, let alone something that he could reasonably wear on a date.  If it came down to it, he could bleach and dye something to acceptable Seabrook colours.  But maybe he wouldn’t have to.

Mind made up, he plunged his hand into the bin and pulled out a bag of garbage.  Okay.  He discarded it and reached in again.  This time, he’d grabbed a pink infant’s onesie.  Actual clothing.  Another onesie, two more, and a tiny pair of sneakers.  Why would an infant require shoes?  At times, it still amazed Zed that humans could spend so much time creating things that would be outgrown before they could even be worn.  He added the baby shoes to the reject pile and pulled the next item from the bin.  A suit jacket.  It unfolded as he pulled it out and he sighed, reaching into the bin to catch whatever had fallen out, pumping his fist as he pulled out dress shoes and matching dress pants.  Of course, there was still a chance (the odds were definitely not in his favour) that nothing would fit his lanky frame.  He slipped his arms into the jacket, his jaw dropping in awe as the sleeves fell over his Z-band and past his wrists.  Not only was it not too small, it was a perfect fit.

He could hear his friends’ thoughts about the suit.  It’s too pink, Eliza would say, scrunching her nose in disapproval.  Besides, this plan is insane, Zed.  It’s not worth the risk, especially for Cheery von Cheerstick.  He rolled his eyes at the imaginary Eliza.  “Her name is Addison,” he said out loud.  “And this is going to be the perfect date.”  Beside her, Bonzo laughed.  What are the odds that you manage to find a human suit in decent condition that actually fits you better than your regular clothes?    “Because today is about taking a risk to get something that I actually want.”

To Zed, the suit looked just right.  A beautiful light linen, soft pink that would blend into the Seabrook humans’ ideal aesthetic.  Never mind that the suit was dusty and wrinkled, with an odd dark stain on the left leg.  It would come out.  Probably.  He looked from the suit to the donation bin.  Technically, he fell into the category of people eligible to be helped by the charity organization.  Technically, if one removed his zombie-ism from the equation.  The son of a hard-working single father, a sophomore taking a rounded curriculum of courses at school, whose family made do so well that he could almost pretend things weren’t as bad as they were.  From a human perspective, of course.  His family was quite well-off, for a zombie family.  His dad had never let them go without; if nothing else, there was always an extra tin of brains around and a space at the table for a friend or two.

Zed continued to rationalize.  Honestly, he needed the suit.  He’d told Addison he would pick her up.  The experiment with his Z-Band meant nothing if he was still dressed the part of a zombie.  He needed to look the part.  He was done with the hard part – swiping left.  He looked at the suit again, feeling another surge of adrenaline.  Decision made, suit in hand, he ducked into the alley to change.

[deyadee]

Aesthetic

I’ve always had this fascination with wanting to find my own aesthetic. I’ve adored goth fashion but I can never get into it because I picture myself in the accessories and want to puke. I’d look so fucking ugly and those tights would accentuate every inch of my fat. So much of aesthetic feels like it’s reserved for people that are attractive. Sorry honey, you’re too fat, go back to blending into the background and praying people don’t sneer when they look at you.

I actually bought some black tights to wear and after forever of getting them on I just glanced at the mirror and saw a fucking moron standing in front of me. My legs are short as hell compared to my torso so I look like a fucking fool. Just another reminder of why I shouldn’t ever fucking try.

Anyway, I’ve always wanted to find an aesthetic for myself. Goth just looks so beautiful and I’m captivated by anyone wearing it that I can’t help but stare. Those all-pastel-pink moodboards are so enchanting that I could sucked into a vortex of just admiring them all day. Watching complications of nostalgic 2000s things or liminal spaces just transports me to somewhere where I can just indulge in the memories and in the visuals.

So I decided to go through the A-Z aesthetic list on the aesthetic fandom wiki. I got about to F before giving up. I found one that kind of suits me, but even then not really. Each one I read through, each image, each description just showed me that I don’t fit in with anyone. Not in the cliché “cute girl-next-door YA protag that doesn’t fit in but is the chosen one and actually really cool” kind of way. Like I’m just fucking boring. No personality. Which is true. That’s something your mom will never tell you, because it’s easy to go your entire life knowing someone and it’s easy for you to spend your life never realizing you’ve got fucking nothing going on because no one truly fucking pays attention to your personality as long as it’s not completely shitty.

All of the aesthetics I felt kind of fit me or that I liked didn’t truly fit me. Being goth isn’t about being depressed and liking the color black or an all Halloween-esque ideal, being goth is about rebellion. It’s about fighting against “the man.” Patriarchy, society, upper-class, whatever the fuck you wanna say it is. What am I rebelling against? Nothing. I’m a fucking spineless loser whose had her entire life handed to her by her parents who actually worked hard to give her a life they didn’t have- only for her to stab them in the back and be a useless fucking waste of space. I profit from everything goth rebels against. So therefore, I’m a Mall-Goth. Only liking the outer appearance of things and not knowing the true depth.

I thought maybe something relating to Japanese or anime aesthetics might work, but again- I’m just a fucking weeaboo. I don’t know shit about the culture, I just mock it by being fat and ugly and using it as an escape from real life.

Nostalgia-related perhaps? Nope. Based mostly on regressing to escape from trauma or coping with the present. What the fuck do I need to goddamn cope with? I don’t have trauma. I wasn’t abused. I had shit friends and made shit decisions. A normal fucking childhood.

So what was the aesthetic that I found somewhat captured me?

Femcel Weeaboo, and Mall-Goths. So I guess I lied. But originally I only really looked into Femcel. Which hit the nail on the head, but the mood felt wrong. As bitchy and sad as I am on this blog, I’d say it’s only the most negative aspects and moments of me. The majority of my life I’m a bot on autopilot. Not happy, not sad. Existing. Not thinking about the consequences of my actions or trying to improve myself, or even being proud of myself. Just fucking there. So that’s where the Mall-Goths come in. Where I don’t give enough of a shit about anything to pick a side and just end up being a fucking poser.

I’m too much of a normie to fit into these groups I’ve always aspired to be in and modeled my entire view of fashion and beauty after, but I’m too fucking weird and niche (and fat/ugly) to be accepted by normies. Too fucking self-aware to be something, but too oblivious to not be.

Aesthetic is just fucking concepts to shove beauty into certain boxes while still shoving out anyone they don’t agree with or looks how they want.

[matchdinghy36]

How To Authenticate A Christian Dior Bag?

In 1994, this iconic bag didn’t have an official name when it was launched, but was nicknamed Chouchou, which is the French Word for Favorite. Joël Andrianomearisoa, photographed with considered one of his two all-black purse designs. Judy Chicago, pictured with the middle of her three luggage. Many of its greatest wearers are millennial women and Generation Z young adults. However, out of all the strains, patterns, and styles of the model, there's also a listing of the most iconic Dior purses. French luxury model Dior has been producing ladylike ready-to-wear and equipment since 1946. In 1947 the home first showcased the Lady Dior bag, exuding Parisian class it's now considered a style classic. Come September 1995 when a black ChouChou was gifted to Princess Diana of Wales, everything changed. The princess ordered one in each shade and by 1996, the bag was formally renamed as Lady Dior. This elegant Dior purse has actually stood the test of time, since its conception in 1994 when it was first named ChouChou, that means ‘favorite’ in French. Each season, Dior comes out with new embroidery designs for the bag. If you want a bag that you could wear every single day, the Dior Book Tote is hard to beat. On a closer inspection of the bag, you’ll see that it represents every little thing Dior stands for. The Micro Dior Saddle bag is so cute, but it is extremely tiny and cannot fit so much inside. It is essential to note that the Saddle size is the usual and most common dimension. That, stated, many of the elements lined in this information apply to other Christian Dior bags too. You can use it as a carry-on while traveling or a piece bag to carry your laptop computer and other necessities. The Book Tote is out there in a mini, small, and standard size. A newer addition to the Dior catalog is the Book Tote, a big rectangular top-handle bag. https://phoenet.tw/dior-replica.html Maria Grazia Chiuri created the fashion, and it is in all places that you just look on social media. The new collection features the fashion house’s iconic styles — the Lady Dior, Saddle, Caro, and Dior 30 Montaigne — shrunk to about five inches. One of the primary celebs to get their arms on the tiny kinds was Blackpink’s Jisoo, who posed with a Micro Lady Dior Bag in an Instagram photo. Who introduced Paris back to the highest of the fashion scene after WW2? Known for his extravagant and chic designs, the Christina Dior handbag collection is dramatic while remaining timeless. Crafted with leather, you will find this Dior Diorissimo bag a super companion for all of your needs. It contains a flap pocket on the again and front, DIOR charms, and silver-tone hard... The Lady Dior tote is a Dior creation that has gained recognition worldwide and is at present a coveted bag that every fashionista craves to own. CHRISTIAN DIOR Monsieur "Boston" bag is available in a navy & beige monogram with a leather trim featuring high handles, inside pocket, and zipper closure. But——- I would agree with different posters that I HATED Dior’s advertising of the saddle bag and 30 Montaigne. This half mooned formed and high quality leather crossbody is everything I love in a crossbody and more! The cause for the excessive price tag is as a end result of reality each piece is hand assembled piece by piece with solely the very best high quality leather-based used for the bottom of the bag. Often there is a false impression that Dior purses are solely handcrafted in Paris, the place headquarters are located, properly this isn’t the case with the Bobby Bag. The Dior Bobby bag is actually crafted in Florence, Italy. wikipedia handbags One of the most iconic designer bag manufacturers is Dior. While lambskin is a delicate material, the bag usually retains its shape over time and the occasional scuff mark is simple to buff out. Surprisingly, the hodgepodge of aesthetics maintained Dior’s female spirit superbly, churning out sought-after designs that by no means waver from the unique imaginative and prescient. Since the swish of the New Look skirt was heard around the globe in 1947, the Dior maison has given us plenty to speak about.

[lundgreenmccann85]

How To Authenticate A Christian Dior Bag?

In 1994, this iconic bag didn’t have an official name when it was launched, but was nicknamed Chouchou, which is the French Word for Favorite. Joël Andrianomearisoa, photographed with considered one of his two all-black purse designs. Judy Chicago, pictured with the middle of her three baggage. Many of its biggest wearers are millennial women and Generation Z young adults. However, out of all the traces, patterns, and types of the brand, there is additionally a list of probably the most iconic Dior purses. French luxurious model Dior has been producing ladylike ready-to-wear and equipment since 1946. In 1947 the house first showcased the Lady Dior bag, exuding Parisian class it is now thought to be a trend basic. Come September 1995 when a black ChouChou was gifted to Princess Diana of Wales, every little thing modified. The princess ordered one in each color and by 1996, the bag was officially renamed as Lady Dior. This elegant Dior handbag has really stood the check of time, since its conception in 1994 when it was first named ChouChou, meaning ‘favorite’ in French. Each season, Dior comes out with new embroidery designs for the bag. If you want a bag you could wear every single day, the Dior Book Tote is hard to beat. On a better inspection of the bag, you’ll see that it represents everything Dior stands for. cals media The Micro Dior Saddle bag is so cute, however it is extremely tiny and cannot fit lots inside. It is necessary to notice that the Saddle dimension is the usual and commonest dimension. That, said, many of the parts lined on this information apply to other Christian Dior luggage too. You can use it as a carry-on while touring or a piece bag to carry your laptop computer and different necessities. The Book Tote is on the market in a mini, small, and commonplace size. A newer addition to the Dior catalog is the Book Tote, a big rectangular top-handle bag. Maria Grazia Chiuri created the fashion, and it is in all places that you simply look on social media. The new assortment features the fashion house’s iconic kinds — the Lady Dior, Saddle, Caro, and Dior 30 Montaigne — shrunk to about five inches. One of the first celebs to get their hands on the tiny types was Blackpink’s Jisoo, who posed with a Micro Lady Dior Bag in an Instagram photo. Who introduced Paris again to the highest of the style scene after WW2? Known for his extravagant and stylish designs, the Christina Dior handbag assortment is dramatic whereas remaining timeless. Crafted with leather, you will find this Dior Diorissimo bag a super companion for all of your needs. It features a flap pocket on the front and back, DIOR charms, and silver-tone hard... wikipedia handbags The Lady Dior tote is a Dior creation that has gained recognition worldwide and is right now a coveted bag that each fashionista craves to own. CHRISTIAN DIOR Monsieur "Boston" bag comes in a navy & beige monogram with a leather-based trim featuring high handles, inside pocket, and zipper closure. But——- I would agree with different posters that I HATED Dior’s marketing of the saddle bag and 30 Montaigne. This half mooned shaped and high quality leather-based crossbody is everything I love in a crossbody and more! The cause for the high price ticket is because of the reality every bit is hand assembled piece by piece with solely the very best quality leather used for the bottom of the bag. Often there is a misconception that Dior handbags are only handcrafted in Paris, the place headquarters are situated, nicely this isn’t the case with the Bobby Bag. The Dior Bobby bag is definitely crafted in Florence, Italy. One of essentially the most iconic designer bag brands is Dior. While lambskin is a fragile materials, the bag generally retains its form over the years and the occasional scuff mark is straightforward to buff out. Surprisingly, the hodgepodge of aesthetics maintained Dior’s female spirit superbly, churning out sought-after designs that never waver from the unique imaginative and prescient. Since the swish of the New Look skirt was heard all over the world in 1947, the Dior maison has given us plenty to speak about.

[bebemoon]

Z E N I B A S acrostic paper dolls, @zenibas .

Z ambelli, alberto rtw autumn 2o19

E enk rtw spring 2o22

N oir kei ninomiya rtw spring 2o2o

I ssey miyake rtw spring 2o2o

B an xiaoxue shanghai spring 2o2o

A cne studios rtw spring 2o2o

S portmax rtw autumn 2o21

[that-astrology-ho]

Nitpicking at Astrology with a Virgo #1

*✧ Pisces don’t like to take other people’s advice mainly because they’re stuck in their delulu Neptunian land. So naturally, they’ll only listen to your advice/wisdom/opinion only if it’s feeding into their nonlogical mindset.

*✧ Even though Virgo’s and Gemini’s are squared, they get along super well since they both rule over mercury. They’re very much the iconic duo when it comes to thinking and communicating.

*✧ All of GenZ has a Sagittarius Pluto. So anyone born from November 10, 1995- January 25, 2008, and June 14, 2008-November 26, 2008 is astrologically Gen-Z.

*✧ Speaking of Pluto, our greatest generational planet, the new dawning of the age of Aquarius is March 23, 2023. Mark it down.

*✧ Earth Mercury natives (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) have the most beautiful voices. Capricorn’s have a more breathy tone, Taurus is more raspy, and Virgo is just grounding.

*✧ Speaking of voices, famous singers often have Mercury conjunct a personal planet which makes their voices stand out. I’ve realized it’s more amplified when it’s in Earth signs as well. For example: Amy Winehouse, V and Jungkook from BTS, Elvis Presley, Freddie Mercury, Joan Jett, Lizzo, etc.

*✧ Cancer’s sometimes have a darker aesthetic/aura than Scorpio. Unless it’s paired with libra or Taurus, they can have a darker aesthetic, but more pleasing and approachable than Scorpio.

*✧ Scorpio’s very rarely lay their cards down before anybody else does, so if they open up about something before you do, you mean a lot to them. Also they aren’t their necessarily the ones to want to know everything about you right off the bat. They want to have a balanced kind of friendship/relationship with the person they’re with, so if they feel they aren’t getting as much from you as they gave to you, THEN they will try to get to know everything about you just so they have dirt on you when shit goes down.

*✧ Pisces and Libra tend to look at the best in people. So when someone’s getting a bad rep or being misunderstood, they’ll be the most loyal and most likely the first to stand up for you.

*✧ Aries are actually a lot more quiet and standoffish in person. It’s when you become apart of their life that they become a complete freak show.

*✧ Same with Gemini. They’re very loud and funny and the best to hang out with, but at first they’re really quiet and polite and reserved, which really is not the case once you get to know them

*✧ Sagittarius in personal planets (especially moon and mars) really suck at closure. Like they’re deadass the ones to ghost you after you start to expect the bare minimum to them💀💀

*✧ The house that your Saturn lies in can help show how karma takes a hold on people that betrayed you in some way.

*✧ Having Jupiter in your tenth can show a lot of wealth or financial gain throughout your life. Depending on what sign your house is in, that can show where your money would come from (ex. Leo in tenth natives can be great entertainers and can work in the film industry)

*✧ Having a personal planet in retrograde isn’t bad. It helps emphasize that you need to relearn how to operate under that planet. For example, if you have your moon in retrograde, you tend to look back on your emotions/emotional periods in your life before you grow as an individual. Having a planet in retrograde can also make you great at helping other people process their emotions/thoughts/karma whatever.

*✧ scorpio in the 12th can be a haunting placement to have. These individuals worst fear is their own subconscious and thoughts. They may be prone to have a fear of mirrors/past lives/and the idea of doppelgängers. People with this placement have a tendency to either keep everything bottled up or overly express themselves in hopes that people will accept them, when honestly either outcome leads to people perceiving them as sketchy and secretive.

*✧ Leo and Aquarius are opposite signs that I find most intriguing. Aquarius finds it annoying when people follow/copy them or the status quo, while Leo admires having multiple followers and even attempts to gain more recognition and appreciation. They’re both the most showy, outstanding, and individualized signs, but they both have a problem when it comes to fame and recognition. With Aquarius they struggle with the social environment and Leo struggles with their personal environment.

*✧Venus signs get the rep that you’re going to marry/date the sign your venus is in, when in actuality you’ll be better off with someone that fits your Mars sign. Your Mars deals with your sexuality, energy, and self expression, so whatever you put out in the world you get back.

*✧ I’ve also noticed that people with their venus/Mars conjunct usually have the most idealistic relationships because their way of expressing their love and themselves fits well with their partner. People with venus/Mars opposition can have a harder time deciphering what they envision their partner to be and who their part we really is. It’s hard for them to pick apart if they really like their partner for who they are or the idea of what they could be/expect them to be.

*✧ Cancer Mars/Venus natives are one of the kinkiest placements to have in astrology when it comes to sex lmao

*✧ Having venus/libra in your 11th house can make you have trouble understanding romantic feelings/gestures with platonic feelings/gestures. These people could strive for a relationship that relies on being close friends, or even have a friends-lovers situation. *This could be heightened with Aries venus in 11th house ruled by libra

*✧ Capricorn moon natives are some of the most ethereal and caregiving people. Capricorn is associated with the father, rules, orders, finances, and work. When someone’s moon is in Capricorn it can show someone who’s both very protective of their feelings, but even more protective of their loved one’s. I’ve noticed they feel so deeply when they witness someone they love having a hard time (especially with emotional/mental battles) because it’s not something they can easily fix or advise on. Capricorn moons feel the urge to protect and secure everyone they love to a greater extent than cap suns and risings all because they emotionally feel like that’s what they’re called to do. I love you Cap moons🤍🤍

*✧ Speaking of protecting, the difference between scorpio and Taurus is Taurus is more so possessive of everyone and everything in their life while scorpio is more protecting. Taurus loves to spoil themselves and others and tend to become possessive because of all the time, energy, and money they devote to close ones. Scorpio on the other hand value closeness on a spiritual level and need constant reassurance that they’re understood when it comes to their feelings and thoughts. Because of that worry and fear they become protective of the few people that are able to understand them the way they do.

*✧ I believe scorpio has a thing where they know how much they hurt and feel that if someone can empathize with them, it’s both reassuring and distressing. They like it because they’re able to feel like they belong, but they also hate it because they never want anyone to hurt the same way they do. This can apply more for Scorpio moon natives or moon in the 8th house.

*✧ Having capricorn in Neptune gets a rep of being boring and too narrow visioned. This is true but it also shows a generation of people who know what they’re capable of achieving without focusing too much on what COULD be. It can have be more “boring” if someone had Saturn in the 12th house that was ruled by another earth sign, but this mainly just shows a generation of people that are capable of getting stuff done that needs to get done and being influencers for the next generation to look up to.

[sscoutregimentss]

could you please do L, U, V, Y and Z for Armin Arlert Please Queen, i just passed by and i already love ur your account💕💕

i teared up a bit at how nice this ask is (´•ω•̥`) i wrote this in modern au again oopsy daisy

edit: added a read more bc this post is kinda long

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Armin is not terrible with kids, but no where near great. Growing up with no parents and having his grandfather die at such a young age led him to grow up fast, so he can't really relate to kids and what they... do.

Like he will see a baby and just talk normally to it. After doing some reading on why baby talk is important, he makes an effort to babble more to them but he really struggles. Or when he's with Gabi and Falco he asks them about quantum physics and Gabi is just like "uhhh I like fortnite."

He really tries. And it's not like he dislikes being around them, he just struggles, and kids don't really like him much either.

Also he cannot stand IPad kids. He blames it more on the parents then on the kids, because they're just kids, but one of his biggest peeves is crying, whiny children with snot on their bright blue silicone cases, eyes glued to a screen instead of dealing with the world. Since he is Armin, he's still polite and gentle with them, but the minute you're out of earshot he's complaining about it for a good 30 minutes.

In terms of his own children, he's actually a really good parent. He did a lot of research on how to raise kids well and he does his best to make sure his kids get what he couldn't in terms of upbringing. He's some what distant? Like his kids aren't ranting and raving about their new crush to their dad, but there's a really good bond between them and they go to him whenever he needs anything.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Armin is prone to telling a little white lie to get what he wants.

In general, he's subtly manipulative. Not in like an abusive or generally scummy way, but in a... human way. We all use manipulation to get what we want, in the end. Like puppy dog eyes or pouting.

He's always transparent about what he's doing, and it's not like he's causing any harm to you. In fact, most of the time its for your own good. Like if you're feeling a bit self conscious, he'll pretend not to notice until you manage to work up the nerve to think better of yourself, stuff like that. Or if something is bothering you, he'll figure out a way for you to bring it up instead of him so you get better at communication. He'll come clean after his little rouses work, but sometimes you wish he'd just tell you what he was doing as he was doing it.

He also takes a while to even consider you a priority. Even though his whole thing is taking your relationship slowly, you're quick to find out that he may call you his partner, but you're under school work, work, family and friends in the "Armin's Important Stuff" scale. He's not an easy shell to crack, so it's kind of expected, but unless you confront him, he will not even realize that he's doing wrong.

Chronic nail biter. Even when he's not nervous.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

On a scale of "beauty guru" to "horrendously stinky" he's a "I care for aesthetics."

He's got a very distinct dark/light academia (depends on his mood) aesthetic that he must keep up. His clothes are always ironed, never tattered, and though most of it is second hand he looks very put together and sometimes even expensive.

But in terms of beauty, it's not his priority at all. He likes the way he dresses because it makes him feel like he's ready to take on the day, and he showers everyday for obvious reasons, but he doesn't wear makeup, and his skincare routine is just washing his face and sunscreen.

Speaking of skincare, he has effortlessly flawless skin and hair. So smooth, so silky, and he barely puts in effort other than the basics. You're convinced it's because he's blessed by the gods, but he says its because he gets enough sleep every night.

His hair grows back super fast, so he has Mikasa cut it since he can't afford to go to the hair dresser so often. He liked the long hair as a kid, but now he finds it annoying, so he keeps it neatly cropped. She's a good hairstylist.

He's also... surprisingly ripped. He looks super skinny but he's got abs for days. Unlike most of his friends, only works out for mental clarity, and not muscles or gaining strength, so he's not like huge and bulky but he's pretty fit.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like overly judgmental people. It's only natural for people to assume things, but people who dedicate their free time to just assuming things about people annoys him to no end. Like people who assume the worst out of him because he hangs out with Eren, or people who think that he's some single virgin loser because he gets good grades.

Also, playing into Armin our semi-pretentious angel trope, he prefers a well read partner. Someone who he can make references too or will take his recommendations of classic literature, or maybe even watch ocean documentaries with him. They don't have to like every last thing he likes, and if they just haven't been exposed to things he won't mind at all, they just have to be open minded and not write off things he enjoys as "nerdy shit."

Piggy backing off that, he wants someone who somewhat cares about their academics. They don't have to be the next Einstein, or a straight A wonderchild like him, but rich brats who's parents are paying for their schooling just for them to party annoys him. It's not fair that he has to work so hard to keep his scholarships and other students are working hard to pay their tuition just for people to come because their Mommy and Daddy said so.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Armin falls asleep at 11 pm and wakes up at 7 am, without fail. It's amazing. You question if he's even a college student.

He uses an old fashioned alarm clock that's at the opposite side of his bed, but sometimes he wakes up on his own and forgets to turn it off, making him run out of the shower to stop the ringing before his roommates wake up.

Before you two started dating, he just slept on his side. But once you two got close, he can't sleep without hugging something if you're not spending the night.

When you do spend the night, he likes being little spoon, or facing you and having you nuzzled in his chest (or vice versa, he's not picky).

He's quite a neat cuddler. No limbs haphazardly thrown over you or anything. His legs are very gently intertwined with yours, he has his arms in a very specific spot to make sure you're comfortable, and he doesn't snore or anything.

Sometimes he sleep talks. Very rarely, though, but when you catch it, it is the funniest thing ever. He has really wild dreams for such a down-to-earth person— you caught him babbling about turning into a 150 meter skinless giant once. Weird.

[archipithecus]

alternate english orthographies and the post-alveolar problem

like many conlangers i've spent a lot of time fiddling around with alternate orthographies for english, not as a serious "this will be adopted" way, but as a fun puzzle to see if i can fit the latin alphabet to english's phonology. anyways, this post is gonna be a long ramble about silly new ways to write english, so here's a readmore

most of the consonants in english be written pretty unambiguously, intuitively, and aesthetically with the latin alphabet, but i have a problem with the way most people write the post-alveolars (ʃ, ʒ, tʃ, dʒ). in their own alternate english orthographies, David J. Peterson and jan Misali (and certainly others) use the most common system <sh, zh, ch, j>. this is intuitive and unambiguous, but i really dislike the affricates on an aesthetic level. i don't like how they're unrelated to each other or their matching fricatives. in search of a solution to this silly problem, i've come up with a series of silly solutions.

1) Logical Trigraphs

/ʃ, ʒ, tʃ, dʒ/ → <sh, zh, tsh, dzh>

this solution is perfectly symmetrical and balanced, but introduces some clunky trigraphs that aren't really necessary. i do like how it would fit in a romanization of a language that also had alveolar affricates.

2) J-Trigger

/ʃ, ʒ, tʃ, dʒ/ → <sj, zj, tj, dj>

this system might be my favorite. it's balanced and sticks to digraphs and has a consistent pattern with the alveolars! it's also 75% unintuitive to an english speaker looking at it for the first time. in this system, <j> essentially acts as a trigger to turn an alveolar into a post-alveolar. also this is a fun way to represent yod-coalescence, especially if you're also using <j> for /j/.

3) Faux-Italian 1.0

/k/ → <c> before non-front vowels, <ch> before front vowels /tʃ/ → <c> before front vowels, <ci> before non-front vowels /ʃ/ → <sc> before front vowels, <sci> before non-front vowels /g/ → <g> before non-front vowels, <gh> before front vowels /dʒ/ → <g> before front vowels, <gi> before non-front vowels /ʒ/ → <sg> before front vowels, <sgi> before non-front vowels or <zg> before front vowels, <zgi> before non-front vowels

this is definitely the silliest system so far, and would be easier to explain if tumblr had tables. it requires extra rules for the velar stops, uses <ch, gh> in very non-english ways, and has ambiguities about where an <i> after <c, g> is syllabic or not that would just need to be memorized. i also haven't fully decided if /ʒ/ should use <s> or <z>. what looks sillier, writing <genre> as <sgiaanra> or <zgiaanra>? (yes, i also have my own system for spelling vowels (as they appear in my form of general american) that i might explain later)

4) Faux-Italian 2.0: now with J's

/k/ → <c> /tʃ/ → <cj> /ʃ/ → <scj> /g/ → <g> /dʒ/ → <gj> /ʒ/ → <zgj> or <sgj>

here <c, g> are always "hard" by default, but become "soft" when followed by <j>, which solves the syllabic issue from Faux-Italian 1.0. i think this one is pretty fun on an aesthetic level (i especially like <scj>), but even though it's less complicated than Faux-Italian 1.0 it's not very useful. plus, i still haven't decided on how to write /ʒ/.

you could also have a mid-way point between this one and FI1.0 by having the velars be default soft before front vowels and hard before non-front vowels, then using <-h> to force hardness and <-j> to force softness.

5) Hačeks Galor

/ʃ, ʒ, tʃ, dʒ/ → <š, ž, č, ǧ> this is the only system on this list to use diacritics, mainly because i find it more fun to work within the limitations of 26 letters of the ISO basic Latin alphabet. i do like typing diacritics, however, so it gets a spot on this list.

6) Hačeks Semi-Galor

/ʃ, ʒ, tʃ, dʒ/ → <š, ž, tš, dž>

okay, i lied about the last one being the only system without diacritics. this is basically a one-to-one translation of the IPA system, nothing crazy going on here.

Examples

this is also using the rest of my alternate english orthography, which i may explain later if i feel like it.

Current English: Ship, join the genre choosing! IPA: /ʃɪp, dʒoɪ̯n ðə ʒɑnɹə tʃuziŋ/ Sensible System: Ship, join dha zhaanra chuuzing! Logical Trigraphs: Ship, dzhoin dha zhaanra tshuuzing! J-Trigger: Sjip, djoin dha zjaanra tjuuzing! Faux-Italian 1.0: Scip, gioin dha zgiaanra ciuuzing! Faux-Italian 1.5: Scip, gjoin dha zgjaanra cjuuzing! Faux-Italian 2.0: Scjip, gjoin dha zgjaanra cjuuzing! Hačeks Galor: Šip, ǧoin dha žaanra čuuzing! Hačeks Semi-Galor: Šip, džoin dha žaanra tšuuzing!

anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk where i ramble about my personal aesthetic tastes for alternate english orthographies

[choicemillionaire]

Curiosity tag !! <3

I was tagged by @bowieisworried. Apologies that it’s taken me so long to finish this.

which artists make you instantly smile when you hear their laughs?

Probably Seokjin. His laugh is just so good. Never fails to make me smile.

what’s a song you’d like to recommend to the person who tagged you?

That’s difficult considering you know a good few of my faves xD. These are probably not your thing but I think Red Moon by Kim Wooseok, My Youth by Jinyoung or Abyss by Jin might be some you haven’t heard. Red Moon might be your thing though.

which artist/s have your favourite voices?

This is a hard one but I think Taka - ONE OK ROCK, Ken from VIXX, Yonghoon from ONEWE, Hui from Pentagon and more recently Eunkwang from BTOB. I know the first one isn’t kpop but his vocals are by far my favourite of all so I had to include him.

what are some sets from the wonderful ccs here that you find yourself thinking about often?

I don’t really have any to be honest. Don’t get me wrong there’s some stunning sets out there and loads that I love and the cc’s are very talented but none really pop into my mind right now. Apologies.

if you could steal (affectionately akcnjd) an idol’s pet, who’s would it be and why?

He sadly doesn’t have them anymore but Jin’s sugar gliders. They were so adorable. I loved them. But also Yugyeom’s dog Dalkyum is so cute too.

which artists that share your star sign do you like?

My Sagittarian biases: Seokjin - BTS, Kanghyun - ONEWE, Minhyuk - BTOB, Eunkwang - BTOB, Young K - Day6, Soobin - TXT, Kang Daniel, Chan - VICTON to name a few

do you have any favourite photoshoots that your ults have done?

Hakyeon’s The Big Issue Photoshoot I just love it so much.

The entirety of A.C.E’s Siren Dawn concept photoshoot. Specifically the water/underwater ones. Absolutely stunning.

For ATEEZ this DAZED Photoshoot for sure was just stunning

what songs do you always get stuck in your head?

At the moment AuRoRa - ONEWE and 0X1=LOVESONG - TXT but there’s been many

who are your favourite dancers in kpop right now?

Cha Hakyeon for sure. He’s mesmerising. Fate will always own my heart. And Passionate Tango is *chefs kiss*

Rocky. He just needs so much more recognition. He’s truly incredible. I mean look at him

This Juyeon lives in my head rent free. I’ll never be over it and through RTK and Kingdom he’s shown over and over again how good he is.

are there any photos of your ults that you find yourself thinking about a lot?

These Leo photos are just very aesthetically pleasing. But I honestly have a thousand Leo photos I adore.

Del Mundo Seonghwa was just something else and Into The A to Z Seonghwa was fabulous.

The pure gorgeous aesthetics of Donghun. Like damn that man is stunning.

The man that currently owns my heart and soul. He’s just 10/10. Also get well soon Minhyuk 💕.

And lastly I’ll throw in my very first ult bias because even though I’ve moved on from ulting BTS, Jin will always hold a very special place in my heart.

which artist/s do you feel you can see yourself in?

I genuinely don’t know. They’re all so different. I don’t really fit with any of them to me. They’re usually all so…well… good, brave, talented, determined, warm, funny, extroverted, supportive and I’m just me xD

who’s rapping do you always find yourself vibing with?

Jisung. Honestly pick any Stray Kids song and I can guarantee he sounds amazing in it.

Changbin same as Jisung. He really hit me with his flow in Hellevator all those years ago and I’ve never looked back.

Rocky. He just has such a good tone. I love it. His rap in ONE was my favourite part of the whole thing.

are there any artist/s who’s talking voice you could listen to forever?

Taka. Again not kpop but honestly at this point I don’t want to live without his voice in my life

Ken. By far Ken is my favourite kpop vocalist and he really does deserve more attention for his vocals. I mean even though he made this for a laugh those vocals are no joke. And let us not forget his Rolling In The Deep cover. Honestly I could go on forever about his voice. From all his duet song festival performances to his solo album and covers to his career in vixx.

Yonghoon just has one of those voices that I adore. Whenever I listen to him everything feels like it’ll be okay again. It’s not the first time I’ve listened to this whole 30 min vid and it won’t be the last.

is there anyone who always manages to give you gender envy?

So many. So so many of them because they’re all stunning and it’s not fair.

and finally, what idol do you think the person who tagged you is most like?

Leo probably. For all the reasons you listed in your own version of this xD

[topconfessions]

"Also I feel personally she will transition if she ever gets that hit and she’ll start being sexy or showing more then eventually have that mainstream peak where she becomes like a different person for a whilem" this make me tough about Billie Eillish "new phase"

Yeah Billie sold out and allowed her company as well as the elites to rebrand her as a typical sex pot now. She looked beyond her years, aged and the entire "sexy" photo shoot I've seen tons of people say does fit her and she looks uncomfortable like she doesn't truly want to do it. It's a trash mess and I honestly always knew this would happen but I began to let go a bit...thinking Billie would prove us wrong and hang in there with this niche aesthetic. She caved and allowed herself to be pushed in while delivering this forced rebranding and marketing as liberation nearly every girl / womans says these days. I don't think she should have delivered this new look in such a way. She can suddenly "be whoever hell she wants to be" but we are grown adults and the ones who are not Gen Z / Gen X and are old enough to remember when listening to new songs on the radio was hot will see right through her and know this isn't who she was dying to be. But if she is adamant about it, she could and should have presented this in a more authentic unique way.

I don't get why Billie couldn't stay the way she was but just evolve more and switch the hair color going for a softer yet more quirky regular attire. It's not hard at all. Could have given us some alternative indie version of 2000s no doubt Gwen Stefani.

I can't take none of these artists seriously during their first 3 years of stardom anymore. Lizzo will probably lose a ton of weight eventually by 2022-2023 like Rebel Wilson and Adel. I'm calling it now. She's gonna become a skinny girl or do a Jennifer Hudson and the representative body positive plus size star is going to be an empty spot.

Celebrity is not what it used to be now. The smoke and mirrors are gone. We can see through them and we can tell they are struggling to adapt to their own images.

Vogue had Billie looking like a 43 year old scarlet Johansson wanna be look alike with a dead pan expression. But anyways, I'm sure everyone knows by now you need to go blonde or some form of blonde shade in your hair in hollywood once you make it. Its like an unspoken passage thing.

As long as Billie music doesn't get worse or take a crazy turn I guess this image turn is just what we have to accept and embrace. I personally deem her a sellout and while she is allowed to try new looks to find herself since its just a hair color, she knows it's more symbolic for her. She's very young and this is the 2020s so I can't expect her to be mature cause she isn't. Isn't she the under the age of 21? Isn't she like 18-19? Cause if so this makes everything worse.

I just don't like that Vogue allowed this to be pushed like this. They are losing so much prestige in the past 13 years it's crazy. Now I know they just want clicks and views with Billie cover. I would respect Billie fresh new look if she either didn't do that cover and treated this change like its just a normal new style or if she maturely stepped up and owned it saying it with her chest (that is now the focus which is sad) that is going this way with her apperance and career cause of xyz. I'm tired of teenagers and fake woke adult celebs who want to sound like teenagers shield and veil everything under positivity PSA rah rah speech. Not everything has to be a dramatic "fuck the system be yourself" emo rebellion.

Then again she is young. She is not mature in the matters and ways she should be so this ain't surprising. P.S to any eyelash fans - calling someone immature or not mature yet is not an insult nor dig at their character as a person. Lacking maturity means what it is defined as and Billie fits it to a T. When she gets to my age at 27 she MAY look back and wonder what she was thinking going through such a phase like that when she wasnt comfortable to begin with.

What Billie says today will not be the same as what she says at 21 or 26. Let's see where this new sexy image takes her....

[shiredded]

A white animation student’s take on Soul and POC cartoons

This got long but there’s lots of pretty pictures to go with it.

Hi, I’m Shire and I’m as white as a ripped-off Pegasus prancing on a stolen van. Feel free to add to my post, especially if you are poc. The next generation of animators needs your voice now more than ever.

My opinion doesn’t matter as much here because I’m not part of the people being represented. 

But I am part of the people to whom this film is marketed, and as the market, I think I should be Very Aware of what media does to me. 

And as the future of animation, I need to do something with what I know.

I am very white. I have blue eyes and long blond hair. I’ve seen countless protagonists, love interests, moms, and daughters that look like me. If I saw an animated character that looks like me turn into a creature for the majority of a movie, I would cheer. Bring it on! I have plenty of other representation that tells me I’m great just the way I am, and I don’t need to change to be likable. 

The moment Soul’s premise was released, many people of color expressed mistrust and disappointment on social media. Let me catch you up on the plot according to the new (march 2020) trailer. (It’s one of those dumb modern trailers that tells you the entire plot of the movie including the climax; so I recommend only watching half of it)

Our protagonist, Joe Gardner, has a rich (not in the monetary sense) and beautiful life. He has dreams! He wants to join a jazz band! So far his life looks, to me, comforting, amazing, heartfelt, and real. I’m excited to learn about his family and his music. 

Some Whoknowswhat happens, and he enters a dimension where everyone, himself included, is represented by glowing, blue, vaguely humanoid creatures. They’re adorable! But they sure as heck aren’t brown. The most common response seems to be dread at the idea of the brown human protagonist spending the majority of his screen time as a not-brown, not-human creature. 

The latest trailer definitely makes that look pretty darn true. He does spend most of the narrative - chronologically - as a blob. 

but

That isn’t the same as his screen time. 

From the look of the trailer, Joe and his not-yet-born-but-already-tired-of-life soul companion tour Joe’s story in all of its brown-skinned, human-shaped, life-loving glory. The movie is about life, not about magic beans that sing and dance about burping (though I won’t be surprised if that happens too.)

Basically! My conclusion is “it’s not as bad as it looked at first, and it looks like a wonderful story.”

but

That doesn’t mean it’s ok. 

Yes, Soul is probably going to be a really important and heartfelt story about life, the goods, the bads, the dreams, and the bonds. That story uses a fun medium to view that life; using bright, candy-bowl colors and a made-up world to draw kids in with their parents trailing behind. 

It’s a great story and there’s no reason to not create a black man for the lead role. There’s no reason not to give this story to people of color. It’s not a white story. This is great!

Except...

we’ve kind of

done this

a lot

The Book of Life and Coco also trade in their brown-skinned cast for a no-skinned cast, but I don’t know enough about Mexican culture to say those are bad and I haven't picked up on much pushback to those. There’s more nuance there, I think. 

I cut the above pics together to show how the entire ensemble changes along with the protagonist. We can lose entire casts of poc. Emperor's New Groove keeps its cast as mostly human so at least we have Pacha

And while the animals they interact with might be poc-coded, there’s nothing very special or affirming about “animals of color.” 

So, Soul.

Are we looking at the same thing here?

It’s no secret by now that this is an emerging pattern in animation. But not all poc-starring animated films have this same problem. We have Moana! With deuteragonists (basically co-protagonists) of color, heck yeah.

 Aladdin... Pocahontas... The respect those films have for their depicted culture is... an essay for another time. Mulan fits here too. the titular characters’ costars are either white, or blue, and/or straight up animals. But hey, they don’t turn into animals, and neither do the supporting cast/love interests.

Dreamworks’ Home (2015) is also worth mentioning as a poc-led film where the  deuteragonist is kind of a purple blob. But the thing I like a lot about Home is that it’s A Nice Story, where there’s no reason for the protagonist to not be poc, so she is poc. Spiderverse has a black lead with a white (or masked, or animal) supporting cast. But, spiderverse also has Miles’ dad, mom, uncle, and Penny Parker.

I’d like to see more of that.

And less of this

if you’re still having trouble seeing why this is a big deal, let’s try a little what-if scenario. 

This goes out to my fellow white girls (including LGBTA white girls, we are not immune to propaganda racism)

imagine for a second you live in a world where animation is dominated to the point of almost total saturation by protagonist after protagonist who are boys/men. You do get the occasional woman-led film, but maybe pretend that 30 to 40 percent of those films are like

(We’re pretending for a second that Queen Eleanor was the protagonist, because I couldn’t think of any animated movies where the white lady protagonist turns into and stays an animal for the majority of the film)

Or, white boys and men, how would you feel if your most popular and marketable representation was this?

Speaking of gender representation, binary trans and especially nonbinary trans people are hard pressed to find representation of who they are without the added twist of Lizard tails or horns and the hand-waving explanation of “this species doesn’t do gender” But again, that’s a different essay.

Let’s look at what we do have. In reality, we (white people) have so much representation that having a fun twist where we spend most of the movie seeing that person in glimpses between colorful, glittering felt characters that reflect our inner selves is ok. 

Wait, that aesthetic sounds kind of familiar...

But I digress. Inside Out was a successful and honestly helpful and important movie.  I have no doubt in my mind that Soul will meet and surpass it in quality and and in message. 

There is nothing wrong with turning your protagonist of color into an animal or blob for most of their own movie. 

But it’s part of a larger pattern, and that pattern tells people of color that their skin would be more fun if it was blue, or hairy, or slimy, or something. It’s fine to have films like that because heck yeah it would be fun to be a llama. But it’s also fun to not be a llama. It’s fun to be a human. It’s fun to be yourself. I don’t think children of color are told that enough. 

At least, not by mainstream studios. (The Breadwinner, produced by Cartoon Saloon)

It’s not like all these mainstream poc movies are the result of racist white producers who want us to equate people of color with animals. In fact, most of those movies these days have people of color very high up, as directors, writers, or at the very least, a pool of consultants of color.

These movies aren’t evil. They aren’t even that intrinsically racist (Pocahontas can go take a hike and rethink its life, but we knew that.) It’s that we need more than just the shape-shifting narratives of our non-white protagonists. 

It’s not like there isn’t an enormous pool of ideas, talent, visions and scripts already written and waiting to be produced. There is.

But they somehow don’t make it past the head executives, way above any creative team, who make the decisions, aiming not for top-of-the-line stories, but for the Bottom line of sales.

When Disney acquired Pixar, their main takeover was in the merchandising department. The main target for their merchandise are, honestly, white children.

So is it much of a surprise

that they are more often greenlighting things palatable for as many “discerning” mothers as possible?

I saw just as many Tiana dolls as frog toys on the front page of google, so don’t worry too much about The Princess And The Frog. Kids love her. But I didn’t find any human figures of Kenai from Brother Bear, except for dolls wearing a bear suit. 

So. What do I think of Soul? 

I think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be a great movie.

But I also think people of color deserve more. 

Let’s take one more look at the top people who went into making this movie.

Of the six people listed here, five are white. Kemp Powers, one of the screenplay writers, is black. 

It’s cool to see women reaching power within the animation industry, but this post isn’t about us.

We need to replace the top execs and get more projects greenlit that send the message that african, asian, latinix, middle eastern, and every other non-white ethnicity is perfect and relatable as the humans they were meant to be. 

Disney is big enough that they can - and therefore should - take risks and produce movies that aren’t as “marketable” simply because art needs to be made. People need to be loved.

Come on, millennials and Gen Z. We can do better.

We Will do better.

TLDR: A lot of mainstream animation turns its protagonists of color into animals or other creatures. I (white) don’t think that’s a bad thing, except for the fact that we don’t get enough poc movies that AREN’T weird. Support Soul; it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It’s probably gonna be really good. Let’s make more good movies about people of color that stay PEOPLE of color.

[snail-care]

Snail 101: How to set up a snail enclosure

So, you're considering getting a pet snail? Great! Before you acquire your snail, you should prepare a home. Here are the basics:

TANK:

Reptile tanks are ideal for snails, they allow plenty of air in, while many are designed to hold humidity that reptiles need. These can be on the pricier side, but luckily snails don't really need huge amounts of space. The linked calculator below shows how much room you'll need for a certain amount of snails, as well as how many snails you can fit happily into a tank you may already have.

Fish tanks are also super great for snails. Betta fish starter kits, while awful for actual Betta fish are perfect for a few snails to live in quite happily. Goldfish starter tanks and such are perfect too. Make sure it has a secure lid!!! Snails can lift several times their own weight so a clip on lid or a heavy one is best. You may want to DIY a lid with mosquito mesh to let air in if the lid that came with the tank is solid glass.

Critter keepers are also good for snails, just don't get the teeny ones. Snails can move surprisingly long distances in just a day, and need room to wander and explore. Again, make sure the lid is very secure.

Please don't:

Use cardboard boxes. They don't hold humidity, they get soggy and snails can eat right through them and even get impacted (blocked digestive tracts) Wood is not great for the same reason.

Use tanks that are super tall. Snails are pretty good at holding on while climbing, but they do sometimes fall off. More on this in a bit though.

Use tanks that are too tiny. You will just have sad snails.

~~~~

So, you have your tank. What next?

To start, you'll want to get a suitable substrate. There are plenty of good options, as well as several you should avoid. Substrate is super important as it provides a place for snails to burrow, lay eggs, and a lot of snails also eat their substrate, likely to help them digest. Substrate also provides a soft place to land if they fall off of something.

Coco peat/coir. My absolute favourite snail substrate! Coir is made of the husks of coconuts, but is a lovely soft texture. It holds water really well, which is good for humidity, without getting bogged and swampy. Snails will happily crawl over, dig in and eat coir. It's eco friendly, takes a very long time to break down, can be reused and it's also really cheap. You can get coir in pretty much any nursery or hardware store, and it comes in these sweet dehydrated and compressed blocks so it's pretty much guaranteed to not come with any pests. The only bad thing I can think of is that once it's rehydrated and set up, pests quite like to live in it.

Peat. I'm not a fan of using peat in anything, not just snail terrariums. My main reason is that peat is taken from peat bogs, and is not renewable. The peat bogs are running out :( The good things about peat are that it holds moisture well, and is also easily reused. It tends to come dry in bags, so it's unlikely to have pests already there. Like coir, it can also harbour pests once it's set up. If you want to use peat, I'd recommend researching the company to see where they harvest it, as there are some peat farms out there that don't take from habitats. It can be a little expensive.

Loam. I've never used loam, so I can't attest to it, but from what I've read it seems good! It's often used for acid hating plants, as it has high ph which is good for snails (acidic substrate can damage their shells) Make sure if you use loam it has low sand content, as sand is b a d. I can't find the pricing of loam, but it's good points are that it drains well, but holds moisture, so it won't get swampy.

Potting soil. This can be a hard one, but if done right can be good. if you use potting soil, please please make sure it's organic, with no added fertilizers, and a high ph. As soil often comes moist, it will likely need to be baked to sterilize and kill any pests in it. It can also be pretty dirty to work with compared to other options.

Sphagnum moss. Sphagnum moss is rad, some people use it as a full substrate in its own, but I'd just add a layer on top of others. Holds moisture and is great for humidity, but isn't great for snails to burrow in. can be kind of pricey.

Substrates to avoid

Sand. Grains of sand can get stuck in snail's shells and really irritate them

Normal potting soil. Potting soil often comes with fertilizers and pesticides already in it, which is bad times.

Random dirt from outside. Dirt outside usually will have pesticides, chemicals from pollution, just all kinds of weird shit you don't want your snails on.

Make sure the substrate is damp before adding snails!

Decorations and Enrichment

Snails love exploring their home!! Decorations provide things to climb on, hiding spots and just visual aesthetics. In my tank, I have a flowerpot, a stick to climb on, plenty of leaf litter and a little ladybug ornament from the dollar store! This does not have to be expensive whatsoever! you can literally just get things from outside, but if you do, make sure you bake 'em in the oven for a bit to kill germs and pests. You can even put little plants in there if you want, just make sure they're not toxic and have no pesticides. Some ideas are fake plants, a plastic flowerpot, a kids plastic cup, various little ornaments from dollar stores, sticks and leaves, etc. Try to avoid large, pointy and hard objects like sharp rocks and such, to avoid shell damage.

Food and Water Bowls

I definitely recommend using bowls or plates for food. Food placed directly on the substrate will spoil and go mouldy quicker because of the moisture. The bowl I use is made for reptiles, and is designed to look like a natural rock but it's made from resin, which is a great material because it's very unlikely to damage their shells, but very strong and easy to clean. You can use the same bowls for water, I use the lid of a jar lol.

This seems complex, but I promise it's honestly the most complex part of keeping snails and it's a lot easier than you think. I hope it was helpful! I'm going to make another post on bioactive vivariums too!

[writingonesdreams]

How did you choose the name of your characters?

Do they seem unusual to you, nonny? XD

I'm really passionate about names. I have lists of them, I love reading the most popular year lists for countries, for specific letters, short, long, noble, old, modern, new, different variations and spelling, meaning and word names.

When I have a character I immediately get a feel for what kind of letter they name should begin with. I knew Acacia needed to be something on an A, that Kyler could be a C or K, that Wes could be a C, W, L or Z. Mira had to be something on M. Jayden was a name I wanted to use for a long time and it fit immediatly. I'm not sure how these letter feels work😂but sometimes I see a name, one in hundreds on a list and it just screams, THIS ONE, THIS ONE. It's like it immediately fits the character image, personality, everything.

I look up the meaning and backround sure, but I like to go with feels and aesthetics and justify the meaning later.

I had so much work with all the main names.😂 Like sidecharacters are easier, I can take a name from my personal list of favorites and one will fit. But for main ones I need to go through tons of lists with the image and intent for that specific character in mind to find the one that will "scream" right.

I was thinking of Anne or Allison or Anice for Acacia, but then I saw this name and I was like, wow. How it looks on the page, it's beautiful, symmetrical, the storng cs and the beginning A...bold name for a bold unique character. In a way it helped me shape her into her current state.

Kyler was so so hard. Cole, Kyle, Kole, Kayle? It all sounded kinda cliche, but I wanted a K or C, but less mainstream. But with the nickname Kye. I love nicknames, they are great for showing dynamics and interactions, so I always weight each name for their nickname and if it fits.

Gotta say that English pronunciation doesn't come naturally to me😂 especially with names and letter combinations I never heard spoken. So I decide more on how the name looks on paper and how I would naturally spell it - which leads me then to surprises, when my English speaking or native friends describe me how they really sound or I hear them in a movie later...It's sometimes a shock 😂 Like I though Acacia was more like Alice but with A and 2x cs not something like "Akajsha" as the Google translator says it😂but well the name is hers and I just gotta deal that how I image the names in my head may sound different to the world.

Yeah, a rather feel-driven process, honestly.😂

[hamsterhusbandry]

[i am uk based so will be talking about uk products]

a cage or enclosure for your hamster is by far the most important choice you’re going to make for your new pet and also the place where a large amount of people go very wrong!

| S I Z E |

the bigger the better! if you have the space and money, please go for the largest size cage you can for your hamster.

the absolute minimum cage size i would recommend for all hamster species is 650 square inches, but please aim for bigger!

my syrian lives in a detolf, coming in at approximately 950 square inches, and having kept a syrian in that size cage, could not imagine keeping one anywhere smaller. and so around 1000 square inches is definitely my personal minimum.

| I M P O R T A N T  F E A T U R E S |

as big a floorspace as possible. height, levels and external tubes are NOT a replacement for continuous floorspace.

hamsters are not climbing animals and excessive height and levels are actually dangerous. when adding platforms to a cage you should always ensure the height is not excessive and there are other items to reduce the height of the drop.

cages with tubes are useless at best and dangerous at worst. the tubes are too small for syrians and bend at extreme angles causing damage to hamsters’ spines. the ventilation is also very poor in them and hamsters often choose to nest in them meaning food, pee and breathing hamster all stuck in a very small plastic non-breathable tube.

a cage should always provide a big enough base or enough height to add an appropriate amount of bedding aka at least 15cm. a barred cage with too shallow a tray or a tank style cage without enough height for 15cm of bedding plus a 30cm wheel (for example) are not suitable.

safe and well ventilated. bars should be narrowly spaced, lids and openings should be secure, there should be enough ventilation in tank style or diy cages

| B A R R E D  C A G E S |

a limited number of appropriately sized barred cages do exist to buy in the uk, with a few even available in chain pet shops e.g. the savic plaza hamster and rat cage (not suitable for rats though), available at pets at home (50cm x 100cm x 50cm). there are also quite a few available to order online on zooplus. 

positives

good access to your hamster, with large front opening doors particularly useful

easy to attach and use hanging toys

well ventilated

negatives

limits on bedding depth (the cages i recommend still allow for approx 16/17cm)

from what i read, it seems appropriate sized barred cages are a rarity in the usa, especially without modification, so this is definitely european focused and most the decent sized barred cages i see are available on zooplus. 

| T A N K  S T Y L E  C A G E S |

fish tanks are a straightforward option but can be very expensive in the uk when bought new in an appropriate size. they can be found much cheaper secondhand on sites like preloved and ebay, especially if they have a problem holding water which wouldn’t be a problem for us. 

companies such as junglepets do sell tanks specially designed for small animals, they also provide a customisation service and will make tanks to your own preferred dimensions

some tank style cages are also sold as hamster cages by pet suppliers such as zooplus

the ikea detolf is also a popular tank style option and the cage i myself currently use so i am happy to answer any questions about using it. it does require some diy to make it useable for hamsters and it has some limitations but is the cheapest way of getting such a large cage.

positives

allow you to provide very deep bedding providing enough room for even syrians to burrow

more aesthetically pleasing and give a great view of your hamster, especially burrowing. buried tunnels and chambers can also be fun to experiment with. 

very easy to change layout and an infinite amount of options on how to use the space

glass is more escape proof if you have a houdini especially a hamster who chews plastic trays of barred cages

negatives

more difficult to attach water bottles/platforms/hanging toys

only have access to your hamster from above which can make taming more difficult so i recommend the hamster is moved to a more accessible area for taming

less well ventilated than a barred cage, ideally the lid should be almost entirely mesh to allow maximum ventilation 

can be heavy and difficult to move

| D I Y  C A G E S |

bin cages made from modified storage boxes are the most commonly found diy cage and have become a popular option for people trying to cheaply upgrade an inappropriate cage. a bin of a good size and depth, especially for a syrian, is very hard to find in the uk and the ones that are are much more expensive than you would think. while they still can be a good option, especially in countries with limited options, i personally think there are better and easier options in the uk

there is obviously an infinite amount of possibilities for diy cages! if you are very handy or have a handy friend or relative who would like to help you, a made from scratch diy cage could be the best possible option! it can be made as big as you like and have all the features you want! be sure to check what materials (e.g. wood or glue) is safe for use with hamsters

| C A G E  C H E C K L I S T |

✔ meets minimum size requirements (using internal measurements) ✔  if barred, bar spacing of < 1 cm for syrians ranging to < 8mm for robos ✔  has enough depth to add a suitable amount of substrate (15cm) ✔  has enough height for a suitable wheel ✔  allows sufficient ventilation ✔ if not provided with the cage, a lid that prevents escape

| U N S U I T A B L E   C A G E S |

| S U I T A B L E   O P T I O N S |

(i have tried to provide internal dimensions where possible)

detolf (roughly 950 sq inches / 6080 sq cms) ⇨ what i currently use so will answer any questions i can! :) ⇨ a really good size, especially for dwarves! ⇨ relatively inexpensive option (currently £60) ⇨ have to make a lid ⇨ limited height (about 35cms), only just fits a 30cm wheel with no substrate underneath so you have to plan the space carefully ⇨ available from ikea

living world eco habitat ⇨ available in medium (890 sq inches / 5760 sq cms) and large (1440 sq inches / 9300 sq cms) ⇨ quite expensive (£140-£200) ⇨ great sizes, especially the large. the large is the only cage ive seen that i would personally consider upgrading to. ⇨ ready prepared cage thats quick and easy to assemble but some modifications might be needed such as meshing the ventilation holes in the lid ⇨ easy to transport with wheels on the base ⇨ mainly made of wood including the base, may be a problem with chewers or with liquid reaching the base. they sell liners especially designed for use with the cage but other options could be used. with enough bedding and toys syrians will likely be able to reach the lid and could chew that also. airholes in the sides of the cage may also be a problem with chewers. ⇨ available from zooplus (uk)

barney (779 sq inches / 5050 sq cms) ⇨ not too expensive (£60-£70) ⇨ narrow 7mm bar spacing, good for dwarves ⇨ 16cm tray ⇨ some decent wooden accessories included ⇨ available from zooplus (uk)

alexander (820 sq inches / 5250 sq cms) ⇨ similar to barney but bit more expensive (around £80) ⇨ 17cm tray ⇨ a lot of wooden accessories and platforms included, including three houses of suitable sizes for a syrian ⇨ available from zooplus (uk)

savic plaza (780 sq inches / 5000 sq cm) ⇨ the only good option ive found available from a large chain pet shop in the uk ⇨ medium price range (£75) ⇨ comes with accessories but unfortunately most are unsuitable (the wheel and house are both too small, the platform and ramp are both not of great quality and would be best replaced) ⇨ 16cm tall base so allows an okay depth of bedding if completely filled ⇨ large front opening door so great access to your hamster ⇨ available from pets at home (uk)

plus large fishtanks and diy cages!

(this post obviously doesnt cover all suitable cages i just covered a selection of a few im most familiar with! and of course always do your own research from various sources (e.g. forums, youtube, tumblr) and gather opinions before reaching a decision for yourself!)

[mirsfa]

dangerously (iii)

Genre: Uhm. Kinda everything, from angst through fluff to smut Word count: 12k Pairing: Prince!Jaehyun x Mafia!Reader Warning: Cursing, underage smoking, drinking, use of drugs, even more cursing, smut in upcoming chapters. There’s a lot and I might have left some out oops. Summary: You were polar opposites. He was royalty, you were a criminal. You hated him, he hated you. This mission was the last thing any of you wanted, but you had to make it work. But could you?

Trigger warning: violence, blood

All nine of you were gathered in Taeil’s room, the distraught disbelief remaining on your features as your minds recalled and repeated all the things that you have seen, all the conversations and encounters you had while in the Throne Room.  

“Kun, let me see the contract again.” Taeyong murmured with a hazy voice, sprawled across a rose gold coloured sofa. Honestly, it was laughable the way you looked in the soft aesthetics and sophisticated area and surroundings of the castle, with your dark clothing drawing a strong contrast against the clear and innocent atmosphere of the building.

“Tae, no matter how many times you’re gonna look at that damned paper, the amount is going to be the same.” Ten’s voice came from somewhere behind the enormous king-sized bed placed by the wall in the middle of the room.

You ignored them, staring through the terrace door, its crystal-clear windows providing a beautiful scenery towards the gardens, and the thick, bush, fence-maze in it. You weren’t exactly sure how to feel; not only about the promising contract that the King had succeeded to make with you after a long speech and piercing gazes from the nine princes, but about the life you were going to be a part of for a year, like that piece of paper said.

You have never been the type of person to particularly care what people thought of you.

However, that attitude seemed way too wronged now. You didn’t seem to be able to erase the looks you have received from the people living and employed by the castle. The judgemental, and fearful gazes lasted for only a mere second before the owners averted their eyes, finding the smallest details on the wall and their shoes fascinating. On top of that, you didn’t seem to forget the way the King squinted his eyes when they fell upon your frame.

It bothered you to no end and you had to concentrate so hard - and had to put in so much effort to ignore them - but since you were staring outside with a mind that kept on repeating those glances, you failed. Terribly, for that.

“I really wasn’t expecting this,” Jeno said, his awestruck voice drawing a soft echo in the enormous suit. “They must need a lot of help if they were willing to offer this much.”

He let pitch black strands of hair fall in front of his eyes, which were in search of the contract paper Taeyong was holding. The paper was crusty and seemed incredibly valuable - you would get a lot of money, just for that piece of paper if you were to sell it on the black-market. But that wasn’t important right now.

Standing up from the window, you stretched your hands up and smiled, like nothing in the world was wrong.

“We need to get down to do some stuff, guys. They said we have two days to get our thoughts together,” you said but the smile you had quickly turned into a grimace.

Deep down you were hoping you would get more time to explore the castle itself; both Winwin and you voiced your concerns back in the Throne Room about it. Only, Winwin’s main cause of worry was the time it might take to ship all his tech stuff here, the castle. Both of you were immediately shushed and told that you will get more time to explore and become familiar with the whereabouts of all the doors, exits, secret passages; and the King reassured Winwin that he will make sure that every single piece of his “things” will be transferred to the castle just in time.

“Two days from now the five youngest will be attending a dinner in honour of a newly built school. I need you to make sure they get there and back safely, without a single scratch.” The Queen said, and you remembered as her dark eyes connected with yours for a single second – a second enough to make you understand her worries and the reckless trust she put into you, a bunch of strangers and criminals, just to protect her youngest sons.

You weren’t sure why; still, back in Taeil’s room you couldn’t figure out that why one look into your eyes from the Queen lit something like a flame of devotion in you towards the youngests of the princes. They were children, all younger than you. It was your duty, not only as an employee, but as a woman with a family of her own, to make sure they were alive and protected.

Pinching the bridge of your nose you stopped your racing thoughts about gender roles.

“We need to work out our formations as bodyguards,” you said and Taeyong nodded as he propped himself up on his elbow, flaming crimson hair falling into his eyes.

“I agree. I have paper and pen,” Taeil stood up from an armchair and pulled a notebook out.

“To be honest, I checked up on different possible formations for bodyguards,” he continued, “and thankfully I found plenty.”

Everyone gathered around the notebook in front of Taeil, their focus shifting from the promising contract signed an hour ago onto the formation plans.

“It will be relatively easy if we are escorting the oldest and the youngest ones separately. Let’s take the four oldest one as an example,” he drew four circles in a spade formation; North, South, West and East, with the initials of the four oldest princes’ names then continued, “We are ten people but, in this case, we will only need eight. See, we can also form a spade around them, with additional four in-between the main cardinals.”

All of you nodded, not taking your eyes off his hand as he drew eight additional squares around the circles.

“Taeyong, you will be North, obviously. You can watch out for potential danger from the front; Yukhei you will be South, you will be watching our backs. Doyoung, you will be East and Z, you will be West.”

You and Doyoung nodded, but your eyes widened suddenly.

“But hey, why am I the one next to the asshole, Yuta?” your whiny tone left Taeil unfazed, but you swore you could hear Doyoung letting a small snicker out.  

“First of all, the tension between you and Prince Jaehyun could have been cut with a goddamned knife, and I don’t want anyone murmured. Second of all, Doyoung and Yuta aren’t a pretty pair either.” Taeil deadpanned and gave the raven-haired hitman a pointed look.

Both of you rolled your eyes but continued to pay attention anyways as Taeil kept on explaining.

“Z and Doyoung, you will have the relatively hardest job, for you will need to protect from the sides which isn’t the easiest as we all know. Make sure to look out, but don’t make it obvious. We need to be alert, but we are bodyguards for royalty. Lowkey, guys. We need to be as lowkey as we can manage,” He took a breath and wrote your initials into the squares.

“The additional four are also important and we will need to look out as much as the ones in the spade formation. Kun, you will be between Taeyong and Z. I will be between Taeyong and Doyoung, Jeno, you will be South-East.” He looked at the second youngest, whose inky locks fell into his forehead in his deep concentration to memorize the formation. “And Jisung, you will also need to participate. You will be South-West, between Z and Yukhei.”

Jisung just groaned and rolled his eyes. You all knew he hated being out in the spotlight, preferring the cool safety of the shadows.

“So, I guess I will be behind screens.” Winwin asked, his voice soft yet incredibly bored. Taeil nodded, chewing on his lips.

“That’s what I was hoping for. Just like usual, you will be watching the cameras, you will have the map of the building beforehand, all that shit. Good?”

“Very good.”

“And Ten, you will be watching them from a distance. Be sure that no one will see you, only us.”

Ten just nodded and his lips turned into a thin line. It was nothing different from any of the missions you have done together, with him hiding in shadows and taking a note of everything, only jumping in in case something went wrong.

Taeil took a small piece of tape out and stuck it up on the wall after ripping it out.

“This formation will be the same when we go with the young princes. There will be five of them, but it won’t make any difference. In case only the King and the Queen need to attend, there will be going only four of us with them, in the same spade formation. It’s gonna be relatively the same. Taeyong is North, Z is West, Doyoung is East but Jeno will be South. You guys are our best fighters, so I think it’s fitting enough.”

Again, he stuck the note on the wall, next to the previous one.

“Is that all?” asked Taeyong.

“No,” Taeil shook and scratched his head, “We are not enough people in case the whole family goes out, even if we include Winwin.”

Taeyong sighed, irritation evident on his features as he quickly rubbed his face.

“Should I call more people?”

“Like who? We can’t really trust anyone else than us, we aren’t even sure it’s the Black Spade who has been doing the attacks.” Yukhei asked, his eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“I think we should give it a try, now, as we are,” you piped in, “just see if we need anything else. Let’s not run ahead our heads.”

The others murmured in agreement.

“Is everything settled now? Winwin you’re getting your equipment soon, right? Yukhei what about your lab stuff?” Taeyong asked, quickly brushing a crimson lock out of his eyes.

Yukhei grimaced and shook his head.

“I don’t know about them, I’m gonna need to ask someone, but our collection of weapons still hasn’t arrived yet and to be very honest, I’m not very keen on using the ones the castle is going to provide us.”

Doyoung nodded heavily and you couldn’t help but agree.

“It’s fine it’s fine,” Taeyong repeated, but it did sound like he was doing it for the safety of his own sanity. “I need to smoke, Jesus.”

You looked around and your gaze fell on an ashtray lying next to the small coffee table. You reached for it and when you felt its weight your eyes widened.

“What the fuck, is this diamond?”

The others’ eyebrows flew high up as they stared fondly at the object in your hand.

“I think we should write down on a piece of paper what we need and then talk about it with the King. See if he can provide all that shit.” Taeyong said as he pinched his nose-bridge.

“Can we include the diamond ashtrays?”

“We can include the diamond ashtrays.”

And so, you got to work again. 

“Let’s go over it again,” Johnny said, as he sat together with Jaehyun and all of the younger princes, Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, Jaemin and Chenle on a group of comfortable cushions.

“Come on, you need to stop worrying about us. It’s gonna be fine, now that we have new bodyguards – “Mark started, but Johnny interrupted him yet again, for the fifth time in the previous ten minutes.

“No, Mark, that’s exactly my point. We have new bodyguards; therefore, we have different responsibilities then before.” Even though this was not the first time Johnny explained it to his brothers, his voice was as calm and patient as ever, going over everything again and again.

“In case we are in an attack, what do you do? Renjun?”

The mentioned boy groaned and rolled his eyes but answered none the less.

“We stick to the closest Diamond Snake and do whatever we are instructed to do. We don’t panic, because that’s trouble, we throw away our pride because our safety is the most important thing. We don’t make inappropriate or sexist jokes – wait but doesn’t this rule apply only to Yuta?!”

“Yes, but remember it, just in case.” Johnny waved his hands quickly, as if to whoosh the problem away. “But yes, perfect. Next, Jaemin. What do we do when there is no Diamond Snake around us?”

Jaemin’s eyes unfocused for a second, recalling all the rules and tactics Johnny and Jaehyun taught them an hour ago.

“We look for someone we know, a brother, and sticking together we watch out and look for one. If we still don’t find any, we go to the nearest place that is completely secure, and don’t move, and call for help.”

“How do you call for help?” Jaehyun asked.

“By pressing the button that’s going to be wired behind our ears.”

“And then?”

“They are going to answer us, ask for where we are, and then come when we specify our location.”

“What do you do while you’re waiting?”

“Don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t make a sound.”

Johnny exhaled and nodded. It was dark outside, and the gathering grey clouds of a coming storm blocked out the whole sky, making all the light disappear momentarily. Occasionally, the ground underneath them rumbled from the thunders, but it hadn’t rained – not yet.

Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile at the quick thought, at how similar the weather seemed to be to their very own situation. They knew something was coming but didn’t quite know what and when and how bad will the impact be. It has been almost two days since the agreement was made and within these two days he hadn’t seen not one Diamond Snake member. And it made him extremely uneasy.

He couldn’t get them out of his head, he couldn’t get the lingering potential danger out of his head and he felt like the biggest idiot ever. Everyone had seemed to have come to peace with the fact that the people who were gonna protect them for a year, were just as dangerous at from whom they were going to give protection from.

Everyone, except him.

When he ate, he couldn’t help but wonder if any of the gang members had found a kitchen and put something in the ingredients, every time he walked through an empty corridor he couldn’t help but think if someone was going to jump out from behind one of the ridiculously expensive statues and aim a gun right at his forehead.

And lastly, he despised how every time he heard the clicking of high heels on the polished floors of the castle, his first thought was a young woman with fire and ice in her eyes, and a face he seemed to see everywhere.

“Jaehyun?”

His head snapped back from the window. Johnny and his younger brothers were all staring at him. He gulped.

“Yes?”

“You blanked out. We talked through everything, I think the boys are ready for tomorrow.” Johnny said, hiding a smile behind his voice. Jaehyun just nodded and smiled apologetically.

“Then boys, I think you could call it a day.” He said, and all five of them sailed out of the sitting room.

“You seem off, Jae.” Johnny said then, his voice smooth and careful.

“No, it’s just…I can’t get them out of my head. I haven’t heard of them since we’ve done the deal two days ago and it’s just – “

“Unnerving?”

Jaehyun nodded and raked his fingers through his honey locks. Johnny reached out and patted his back.

“I was going to pay them a visit, about tomorrow. Wanna tag along?”

 The castle corridors at this hour were empty, with no one rushing around except for the mice who wondered into the building from the neighbouring woods. Jaehyun’s and Johnny’s steps echoed throughout the hall that lead to the West Wing. The hall wasn’t entirely a usual one, it was more like a bridge that connected the main building to the West Wing, positioned more than a hundred meters above the ground, its walls made of nothing, but bulletproof and crystal-clear glass. Jaehyun got goosebumps every single time he had to go through; ever since he was born.

Maybe that was why he had his chambers in the East Wing, farthest away from the West.

“Did you know they cleared out the whole of the West Wing because of the Snakes?” Johnny asked suddenly and Jaehyun slightly jumped from the strong echo of his brother’s voice.

“No, I didn’t. How come?” he asked, looking out into the stormy night through the glass. Johnny chuckled and looked at him incredulously.  

“How come? First of all, it’s not like anyone would want to live with their lives at stake because of a mafia gang casually living around. Right?”

Jaehyun shrugged and turned left, heading for the crimson haired leader’s room. He totally didn’t memorise the rooms each member got.

“And second of all?” he asked, but Johnny uncomfortably stifled a laugh.

“I don’t know, there’s no second of all.”

Jaehyun chuckled, the low grumble making a soft, almost inaudible echo.

Their attires were surprising casual, if it wasn’t for their well-known looks, no one would’ve guessed they were royals. Johnny wore a simple pair of jeans and hoodie combo, Jaehyun didn’t even bother to put on jeans, he was in plain black sweatpants and a white shirt, his hair unmade and tousled from the continuous raking of his fingers. Their sneakers didn’t make much noise.

“Taeil’s room must be this one,” Johnny said as he stopped in front of the first door at the corner.

“Were we not going to go to Taeyong? The leader?”

“Oh yeah, I wanted to say Taeyong. What did I say?”

“Taeil.”

“They sound similar.”

Jaehyun didn’t have time before he answered, for Johnny knocked on the dark, carved, wooden door twice in front of them.

For a second no one answered, there was complete silence. Then the sounds of murmuring and shuffling reached their ears, along with a loud crash and unearthly cursing. The door was then ripped open by a young man, with a height matching Johnny’s and a grin spread wide across his face.

“Well hello there, Your Graces, how may I be at your service on this wonderful evening?” he chirped, his voice disturbingly cheerful and loud. Jaehyun squinted his eyes as he looked at the tall boy, his face not the slightest familiar. The only people who came to sign the contract were the leader, the man responsible for the paperworks – Taeil, if he remembered right, and the young lady.

Your face popped in front of his eyes again and he almost ripped his hair out in frustration.

“May we come in? We want a word with your leader.” Johnny asked, with a hint of a smile. The tall boy looked back quickly, holding his pointy finger up.

“One second Y’Majesty, I gotta check if everyone is presentable.”

Johnny glanced at Jaehyun quickly, but smiled nonetheless.

“Go ahead.”

“Yo losers!” his voice boomed through the corridor and Jaehyun jumped slightly, his heart rate increasing yet again. “Y’all have clothes on?!”

Jaehyun heard a distant approving shout and before he realized, he was already in the leader’s suit. The word ‘mess’ would be an understatement in this case; looking around the huge chamber, he realized the word ‘chaos’ would probably be better fitting. Clothes were lying on every single surface, along with thousands of pieces of papers. The pleasing, soft aesthetics of the room disappeared completely. On the king-sized bed, there were two people hunched over a MacBook, a sea of cables and post-its spread around them. Jaehyun squinted his eyes again, as he realized he hadn’t seen those two before either and then it hit him; he was just about to see the actual inner circle of the Diamond Snake. He took another glance at the tall figures on the bed. One of them was young – way too young, maybe younger than Chenle. His blond locks were hanging deep into his eyes as his gaze remained on the computer screen, with a mouth slightly agape. The other boy, typing furiously and way too fast for Jaehyun’s liking, seemed much older, with a similar, darker shade of dirty blond hair in a half-up-half-down style.

They didn’t even lift their gazes as the princes passed them, and Jaehyun wasn’t entire sure how to feel about that.

Passing by the bed they turned right, into the living room of the suit, with large, soft, cream coloured sofas, coffee tables and television. The room wasn’t as chaotic as the one before, however Jaehyun did catch pieces of clothes and other…weird stuff on the floor. Like a whole set of high quality machine guns and other, half-wrapped weaponry. It seemed like they received their own weaponries.

As they stepped in, a quick glance around the room was enough for him to see that there were only three people sprawled on different sofas - one of them being the young woman. His eyes locked on her face for a second more than he wanted to do so; but thank to all gods she didn’t seem to notice, for she was completely engrossed in filing her blood coloured nails.

“Boss, they came here to see you.” Said the tall one as he threw himself down onto the sofa on which the crimson haired leader was sitting.

“Oh?” Taeyong’s slit eyebrow lifted elegantly as he looked over the princes and stood up, his hand outstretched. Jaehyun stiffened but Johnny grabbed the hand and shook it briefly.

“What do I owe this pleasure?”

“We wanted to clarify some things real quick, about tomorrow.” Johnny said as he sat down on the armrest of the nearest sofa, but Jaehyun remained standing, next to him, and glanced around the room, his eyes finding her frame again.

The woman looked up from her nails, her expression gloriously bored, head placed in her palm as she observed him and Johnny. She wore a simple oversized t-shirt, and Jaehyun blushed for a second when he didn’t see anything underneath the long shirt. Her bare legs swayed over the plush arm of the soft gold sofa, almost as if she was trying to earn a reaction from the princes.

They locked eyes for a bare second, but it was more than enough for Jaehyun to realize, from the slight squint of her eyes, that she was indeed, waiting for an outrage of reaction.

Jaehyun averted his gaze and kept his composure.

“I was wondering,” Johnny started, “if you had any other things planned out except for the things you have sent us – about what to do in case of an attack.”

Taeyong nodded as he lowered himself back.

“Yes, your Majesties. We have everything planned out.”

A beat of silence.

“Would you maybe…share it? With us?” Johnny asked, his tone confused. Taeyong smiled bitterly as he glanced at the woman and Doyoung, who was sitting on the sofa next to him.

“It seems like you are having a hard time trusting us, princes.”

Even then, clothed in the simplest clothes, Johnny and Jaehyun could not deny the tinge of royal air around themselves, especially at times when they did not get what they came for. Johnny’s eyes gleamed with a hint of ice and steel, something only few experiences. He was just about to open his mouth in a retort when Taeyong waved his hand, as if to shush him. Shush him.

“We will of course, share everything with Your Highnesses. Tomorrow, we will tell every member of the Royal Family how we planned things out.”

“Why not now?”

The leader smiled again.

“I don’t like repeating myself.”

And so that night, for the first time, the princes did not get exactly what they came for, and Jaehyun had a brush of a feeling that it was not going to be the last time.

The sun hadn’t fully risen yet when all of them, The Royal Family and the Diamond Snake mafia gang, gathered in the enormous Throne Room. If anyone looked carefully at each person’s face, they would have seen the unmistakeable signs of exhaustion, the dark circles and the puffy eyes were hard to miss.

You felt the coffee doing an amazing job within your system to keep you from giving in to your heavy eyelids. It’s aroma lingered in your breath – something much like reassurance. A sourly taste made its way down your throat when you remembered how long you stayed awake with Taeyong last night, planning and talking and planning. And then again, the unexpected arrival of the princes did really throw all of you off-guard, making you realize their expectations were much higher than you had expected.

Clicking your heels softly to the polished, marble floor of the Throne Room, you listened to Taeyong and the royals speak.

“This is the first public outing of the princes since the latest attack, right?” the leader asked, his crimson, smoothed back hair carefully styled on his head, only a single, untamed lock hanging into his forehead.

“Yes, it is,” the King answered, looking over at one of the youngest princes, huddled together and murmuring. For a second you stared at them – their closeness and hands over each other in protective manners reminded you of nothing but you and your family, the Snakes, when you were younger. Biting down on your bottom lip, your gaze wandered over to the Queen.

Her aging face was solemn and calm – tired, if you looked closely enough, and for a spare second, sympathy washed over you.

But you shook the feeling off as you glanced away, keeping your eyes on the marble floor.

“We have made a plan, Your Majesties, and we would take you through it, if we may.” Taeil spoke up, his voice full of authority. After everyone had gathered around, he pulled the piece of paper out, on which the sketch of the formation was visible.

“All bodyguards need a formation at all times for every celebrity and royalty, however formations are not required for the protected half in most cases. In this one, however, we will need one.” He started as he looked at the younger princes to his right; who shifted themselves into much more respectful positions.

“Your Majesties, you will need to follow our, and only our commands from now on. Understood?”

The princes nodded carefully. You tightened your grip around the black bandana in your pocket as Taeil quickly waved you over.

“Z, show them.”

Carefully walking over to their sides, you couldn’t help but feel the burning gazes of the others on your back. Even though your attire was suitable for the job – black pants with black shirts and leather jacket, you looked no different than the other Snakes. Still, the weight of the stares still made you feel naked, uncomfortable with a tingly breeze.

You pushed that feeling down; pushed all your insecurities down into your toes, lifting a shadow mask of arrogance to your features and movements instead.

During the two days that were given to your team, you memorized the faces of the princes, along with their names and background, so it didn’t require much effort for you to lead each of the younger ones into the formation sketched on the piece of paper in Taeil’s hand.

“Prince Mark, you will be in the front,” you said as you tried to soften your voice as much as possible, leading the prince away from everyone, placing him a few steps away from the small crowd, facing towards the two enormous thrones at the end of the room.

“Princes Jaemin and Donghyuck,” turning around, you waved them over to you. As they approached you scanned them over and clicked your tongue approvingly. Seemingly, all of them were in extremely good shape, their maturing bodies lean and tall – all taller than you if it wasn’t for your high heeled boots. “You will be next to each other behind Prince Mark, and make sure to remember that Prince Jaemin is on the left, while you, my dear prince,” you huffed while switching their positions with your arms, “are to the left.”

Turning around you waved the remaining two youngsters, Chenle and Renjun, over.

Renjun was slightly skinnier and shorter compared to the others, but you noticed the silent, thrumming power his body moved with. Laying each your hands on their shoulders, you moved them to their right positions.

“Prince Chenle, you will be behind Prince Jaemin and Prince Renjun…you’re over here.”

Turning around, you nodded at Taeil who was waiting for you to finish.

“Your Highnesses, this will be the formation you will need to remain in every single time we go somewhere, understood?”

The princes nodded once, their attentions tight on the short man.

“We will be by your sides at all times, and it is extremely important for you princes, that you locate and remember the Diamond Snake member closest to you. Here,” he waved at the others and all of the Snakes quickly made their ways over to you and the boys.

You all stood at your assigned place, according to Taeil’s plans. The princes looked around, remembering your faces and positions and you caught as Chenle and Renjun looked back, Yukhei’s form towering over their bodies.

“Hello Y’Highnesses!” he boomed, and a small laugh escaped your lips as the two princes jumped slightly upon hearing the volume of his voice. “My name is Yukhei and I will protect you!”

Whipping your head back to the front you made eye contact with Doyoung on the other side of Jaemin and Donghyuck. He cringed, and so did you.

You glanced back at the King who was observing your formation with something like a satisfied glint in his eyes.

“Yes. Yes. I like it, very much. Seems like it is well-secured and safe.” He said, his voice letting out a friendly grumble. Taeil fought with a proud smile, and you grinned at him. No wonder he was the brain and planner of the group.

“There is one more thing, and we are good to go. Our tech expert, as you know, Winwin is in the basement with the team you have provided him with. At this very moment they are locating all the surveillance cameras around the school and its area, so in case anything happens, not only us but them as well will be helping us out with clear ways.”

The King nodded yet again.

“Here,” Kun spoke up then, from in front of you. He held five little wired straps earpieces in his palms. “Put them in your right ears, like this,” he turned around and showed it. “Make sure it doesn’t block your actual hearing but you’re still able to communicate with people who have the same piece.”

Taking one out of his hands you quickly placed it in yours, then glanced at Jaemin, who was looking at the small black thing with a hesitant expression.

“Here, let me help you,” you reached out and took it out of his hand. You ignored his little jump when your skins made contact. Smoothing his light hair out of the way you carefully stuck it behind his ear.

When you retreated to your place two steps away from him, you allowed yourself a glance back –you shouldn’t have.

Your eyes met with Prince Jaehyun’s, his stormy ones glaring relentlessly into yours. You didn’t look away, no, but you felt your insides churn, heat rising into your cheeks. Your heartbeat seemed to have beat louder than before - hopefully Jaemin didn’t hear it. Squinting his eyes, he didn’t break the eye-contact either, only after a couple of seconds, when his gaze wondered down to your hip.  

Reaching down, your fingers brushed over the cool metal of a gun on your belt.

Stiffening lightly, he looked away, leaning towards Yuta who seemed to murmur something into his ears.

Taeil’s voice lowered into blurry, vague murmurs in your brain as you stared outside, through the huge windows of the Throne Room. You could see many things – the enormous fountain in front of the double-winged, ridiculously huge entrance, the circular driveway and the more than a mile-long road, leading the way straight to the palace.

Cars and motorcycles were already lined up, the additional but completely unnecessary bodyguards waiting next to them.

You tried to hide your smile when you thought of the logic – more like the lack of it – behind why celebrities and royalties chose to hire the bulkier protectors. Yes, they have muscles and yes, they might be incredibly strong, but are they quick to react? Are they tactical, are they ready to do anything if something goes wrong? Do they even think two seconds ahead?

Taeil stopped speaking and you looked up – your eyes meeting with Taeyong’s. His deep red locks cast shadows over his eyes, but you saw their glint as he nodded at you. He was ready. The others were ready. Letting something like a shadow of a smile out, you nodded back; you were just as ready as them.

Adjusting your ear-piece, you turned it on, and after a tiny static sound you heard Winwin’s voice.

“Alright Your Royal Highnesses and sons of bitches, this is your captain, Winwin speaking,” you snickered and so did Yukhei from somewhere behind you. From the corner of your eyes, you saw Jaemin’s eyes widen and to your biggest surprise, his eyes crinkled up in amusement.

Seems like not all princes had a stick stuck up in their asses - your mind unconsciously drifted to Jaehyun’s angelic features.

“Winwin,” You heard Taeyong’s low warning murmur through your earpiece, even though he was only a couple of feet away from you. Prince Mark, who was in the front turned back, with eyes bulging out of his skull, and looked at Donghyuck.

“Holy shit, so everyone who’s wearing an ear-piece can hear us talking?!”

Kun chuckled in front of you and nodded.

“Not exactly. Your Majesties’ earpieces only function when there is something wrong. We won’t hear you, but you will hear us if we turn that part of ours on. Our earpieces work multiple ways, but we can talk about that later.” His tone was kind, and for a second your heart fluttered.

“Alright, Taeil, I see your daddy coming out,” muttered Doyoung and you almost choked on air.

Taeyong turned around again and gave a pointed look at Doyoung. The young princes stared at each other in disbelief.

“Anyways, we will depart soon from the palace,” Winwin continued, “and I just wanted to wish you good luck. As I know, the school visit will take three hours. During then, two Snakes will be outside the classroom, the rest is around the building. Ten, you get there before us. Clear?”

“Clear.” You said instinctively, in unison with the other Snakes.

“Highnesses, clear?” Winwin asked again, with more force in his voice.

“Yes, clear.” They repeated hesitantly.

Winwin just hummed, silence following. You heard Yukhei cracking his neck and knuckles, Jisung and Doyoung doing the same.

Taeyong then turned to the King and Queen, and with a respectful nod he said, “we will protect your sons.”

Outside, on the perfect circular driveway the heavyset guards and drivers got into the cars, and you grinned, lazily stretching your body, your arms reaching high above your head. Even though the tucked in black shirt protected your skin from flashing – even though you wouldn’t have mind one bit – the stretching and tight material showed off your curves just right. You ignored the burning glares you got from behind your back, and exchanged a glance with Doyoung, whose fingers danced over all the weapons hidden beneath his clothing.

Him and you were the ones with the most weapons on you, the variety of knives and guns ranging way too long, from size until capacity.

“Masks up, Snakes,” Winwin’s voice instructed and you reached down into your pocket and grabbing the black bandana, placed it in front of your face; the dark material covering your face from under your eyes until your chin. The rest of the Diamond Snake members wore the same thing, your faces unrecognizable, but vision crystal clear.

“Go.”

Upon hearing Winwin’s words through the earpiece, Taeyong started moving immediately, leading the way back towards the double-winged door of the castle, right outside the Throne Room. Mark, who was right behind him followed, his steps unsure just like the rest of the young princes’. Yours, and the Snakes’ however, were in complete unison, striding towards the door, but your bodies not leaving your spots next to the royals.

It was scary, really. The way your frames moved like one, with straight backs and vivid eyes, it was the first time you put your professional masks on in front of the royal family, and the way the King and Queen and the oldest princes’ eyes followed your every movements with something like a dumbfounded recognition in their gazes; you realized it was worth it.

It was worth to accept their offer, it was worth it, just to see the looks in their eyes when they realized who you are – and what you are capable of. That you are more than illegal deals and midnight sniffs of drugs; more than thick bags of money exchanged in dark alleyways. More than thick mists of marijuana and polished stripper poles.

You are fighters; shadows and mists of each other. You are the purr of a predator, a wildcat, just before they struck; the swiftness of the hunt, and the precision of the endgame.

So, you held your head up, didn’t quieten the sounds of your heels as you strode past the princes, who stood aside to give your more space. You let your eyes meet with Jaehyun’s and while holding it you saw the icy rage within them – but you did not miss they way the side of his lips curved up, up into a dangerously sharp smirk.

You broke the eye contact, seemingly unfazed, but you were the only one who knew you had the exact same, bitterly edged smile on your lips.

You left the giant room with the vivid memory of his eyes in your brain.

Servant opened all the doors in front of you, the flow of your movements unbreakable.

The cars and bikes awaited you, and Taeyong was quick to instruct everyone.

“Majesties, you’re divided between the two cars. Prince Mark and Prince Renjun, you are in the first one, the rest of you my princes are in the second,” the young royalties were quick to react and got into the cars which were opened by the drivers, the only ones remaining outside. Two bikes next to each other were in the very front of the mass of the vehicles, bodyguards sitting already on them, their faces hidden by helmets.

“Taeil, you’re gonna sit in the first guard car, behind me. I’ll be on the motorcycle behind the first two bodyguards. The princes are in the two following cars behind Taeil, and Kun,” he turned to the consultant with a swift turn, “you will be in the last car. Yukhei, you’re on the bike behind Kun’s car. There will be two additional guards behind you, just so you know.”

Yukhei nodded and did a thumbs up, and you guessed he grinned behind his bandana, because of the crinkles around his eyes.

“Z, and Jeno,” Taeyong turned to the remaining Snakes, the others took off to take their places, “you will be on the left side of the princes’ cars, a bodyguard will be between you guys and one behind you Jeno,” he looked deeply into your eyes, his slit eyebrow hanging low, “don’t trust anyone but yourselves and each other, got it?” you nodded and hurried towards the motorbike.

The vehicle was luxury itself, and you hated to admit it, but your jaw dropped when you saw it in the real. The black metal shone brightly in the early sunlight, reflecting just enough light to make it look perfect. You almost teared up.

Swinging your legs over it, you placed the helmet from the seat on your head and strapped it. You didn’t see on the other side of the dark cars, but you guessed that Doyoung and Jisung had the same positions as you. Comfortably stretching yourself, you leaned over to grab the steering, and unlocking it, you turned the engine on.

“Everyone set?” asked Winwin.

“Z, ready,” you murmured, and the others followed you, their names and status.

“Then, here we go. I will be with you through the whole thing. Majesties, if you see or hear or even feel the slightest like something is off, do not hesitate to check in. Listen to you instincts.”

You heard the royals murmur in agreement.

“Tae, Ten has already left, he will let you know what’s going on. Get it, Snakes. Go.”

Whirring the motor, you put your legs up on the rest and followed the mass of the vehicles.

The bike under you whirred up as you got out of the calm area of the castle, and onto the motorway.

You couldn’t help but let a wide grin out as you felt and heard the wind zipping past you, your body, and for a single second you gave into the intoxicating idea and feeling of freedom. For a second you weren’t Z, one of the most wanted assassins in the kingdom. For a second you weren’t a hired bodyguard for the Royal Family. For a second you weren’t heading towards a new school opening, and there wasn’t a certain dark caramel eyed prince in your mind. For a second you were Y/N, racing on the highways on a luxury black bike into the heart of the capital, not caring about a single thing about the world.

You shook yourself back to present and kept on zipping past cars that had given you way on the already busy motorway. The mass of vehicles, sirens and the little flags on the front of the cars. You caught children stuck to the windows of the backseat, their eyes following the princes’ cars. You caught curious glances from both the driver’s and the passenger seat. Children, teenager, middle-aged or elder – no matter what, smiles seemed to be spread wide on their faces when they saw the small flags, when they realized who just passed by. It amazed you to no end and you weren’t exactly sure why.

 It looked heart-warmingly sweet, the way the children stood outside the brand-new school building, made of yellow bricks with vibrant green grass surrounding it. You didn’t look carefully but you assumed the children’s age ranged from five to maybe fourteen – fifteen.

As soon as you turned off the low humming of your motor, you unclicked your helmet as fast as you could and placing it on the handles, you let your hair fall back into its natural form. You felt the burning gazes on your back, again, but you ignored them as you gracefully lifted your legs over the seat and waited for the princes to get out of the car. Standing close to them, you ran your eyes over the building and its area.

A tiny forest spread a few hundred meters away from the building, with a huge playground and football pitch in front of it. The parking lot was at the front, which was now filled with the mass of cars and bikes you arrived with.

Cheers, so loud you felt the urge to clamp your hands over your ears, erupted when the young princes stepped out. Mark and Renjun were in the front, and they waited with Taeyong for the whole group to get into the formation. Renjun’s waves were extremely graceful, you learned, his slender hands outstretched towards the cheering students. Mark was a tad more awkward; his waving a bit unsure and shy but joyful – and yes, it was adoration glinting in his eyes when he looked at his people.

As soon as Jaemin got out and fixed his suit you stuck to his side, and Doyoung did just the same with Donghyuck, whose top two buttons were undone under the long, open jacket. You got into the formation and made your way over to the cheering and clapping students and teachers, all eyes missing the dark figure appearing for a second of a heartbeat.

 The opening ceremony wasn’t exciting, really, there was no action whatsoever other than standing in the slight breeze and blinding sunlight. It was at the beginning of the third speech of the day when your widened eyes found Jeno’s, whose exasperated features mirrored yours. He hated staying still just like you, and you knew he regretted the contact as much as you did then. The fact that your clothes were dark as death didn’t help the slow burning of the midday sun. You wished for nothing else than to toss the leather jacket as far away from you as possible and take an ice-cold shower. Jeno seemed to be in the exact same state, blowing strands of pitch black hair out of his eyes with nothing but pure irritation.

“Education is a gift for everyone who wishes to live with it; knowledge is power, and speaking in the name of the Royal Family, I am more than glad to be able to raise an institute for the future astronauts, teachers, writers, the future dreamers of our kingdom,” Renjun spoke softly but confidently into the microphone on the small podium behind the building.

You sighed and forced the bitter smile creeping upon your lips down, even though no one would’ve known about it from the mask, except for you.

Education is a gift – if you have a chance.

Thoughts of you and others huddling together in the freezing cold in a narrow alleyway, a torn cup laying at your feet, with two blunt coins in it flashed in your mind; followed by a familiar sour taste in your mouth. If you could, you would’ve burned a hole right into the grass beside the podium. God, you hoped karma will get Taeyong somehow for making this dumb decision.

After the speeches, everyone moved into the building – divided by classes, each class with a prince; to spend time with them. The whole thing was a blur, now that you look back. Your senses almost collapsed, your eyes moving around rapidly, hand absentmindedly hanging by your hidden gun – no one knew what could’ve happened. Of course, you were in Jaemin’s class, rooting in the corner there was nothing you wished more than to disappear. You felt eyes on you, yes, but they weren’t burning holes into your skin – more like a tingling, light feeling. You caught the eyes of a little girl; she couldn’t have been more than five years old. Her hair was light, put into two tiny ponytails on the sides of her head.

The doll which she held tightly in her hands hung almost lifelessly beside her body as her eyes stuck to you – you swore you could see stars, galaxies in them. Her face was tilted, mouth slightly agape. It was only one step she took towards you – one step was enough for you to stiffen, your back pressing more into the wall behind you. There was no potential danger in the situation though, not for you. Never for you.

She took one more step towards you, her mouth curving into a something like a goofy, dimpled smile – but then she was grabbed from your sight.

The nanny, caretaker, whatever was that cranky bitch’s name, lifted her up, her eyes glaring into your direction – they were ice cold, merciless and somewhat the weight in them sucked the breath out of you. You watched as she carried the little girl away from your direction, and your chest seemed to feel heavier and lighter at the same time. You exhaled a long sigh you didn’t know you had been holding.  

The Snakes have rules – and one of them is not to get attached to anyone; sexual partner, long-lost-but-suddenly-found family member, anyone else outside the gang. You never seemed to have trouble obeying that rule, you didn’t know – didn’t want to know anyone else outside the gang, your only family were the Snakes and you left your – nightly adventures’ beds before the sun’s rays could even hit a corner of the rooms.

When a voice sounded from your earpiece, you jumped more than you wanted to.

“It’s Ten. Something’s going on.”

Your senses perked up, straightening up your eyes moved around the classroom rapidly.

“Where?” you asked, your voice restrained so no one in the small classroom would hear it.

“The woods,” Ten murmured, “there are a lot of movements behind the trees.”

You moved to the window, swerving between children, too occupied with their toys and games. The window gave you a direct view at the small forest and squinting your eyes you searched for the smallest stirs. You felt a couple of curious glances in your way – honestly, you weren’t surprised one bit; the midnight, practical clothes on you drew a bitter contrast against the childish atmosphere of the playroom.

You jumped slightly when you felt a hand tap your shoulder lightly.

“Is everything all right?” Jaemin asked, voice soft as a night breeze.

Chewing on your bottom lips you slightly inclined your head to the side.

“I don’t know,” you murmured back, “Ten just checked in. He saw movements behind the trees.”

Jaemin exhaled and let a forced smile out when he saw people kept glancing your way.

“What should I do if something happens?”

“Haven’t we sent you the rules?” you barked back, and you heard him suck in a breath behind you.

“Your Majesty,” you added.

“Yeah but – I don’t know I just had to ask.”

His voice was still soft, and for a spare second you regretted your harsh reaction.

“You stick with me, and I will try to get you out – “

“What about the kids?” he interrupted.

“The targets aren’t the students,” you exhaled, trying to keep your calm, your eyes moving continuously.

And then you saw it.

It was just a flash – a flash of a metal. Gun.

“I see them,” you whispered, and you could practically hear Ten rolling his eyes.

“I told you there was something.”

“I just saw it too,” you heard Jisung’s voice, along with the low chirps of the class.

“We need to get out of here. Now.” Taeyong quipped in.

You grabbed Jaemin’s arm, his expensive woollen coat crinkling in your fist, and turned to the nearest caretaker.

Your voice was muffled from the bandana in front of it, but you didn’t bother to remove it.

“You need to listen to me carefully,” you said, grabbing her attention. Her eyes grew larger as you stared into them, your steely gaze holding hers captive. “Make sure that in the next hour, the kids are locked in this classroom, after we leave. Be as quiet as possible, but do not panic under any circumstances. If necessary, block the doors with tables. Do not let anyone in. Understand?”  

Her face remained bewildered but nodded, slowly, uncertainly.

“I need your words, miss.” Your voice was harsher than intended, but you didn’t care. You had to, needed to keep the children safe.

“Yes. Yes, I understand,” she said, her voice trembling. You were sure she knew what was going on.

Nodding, you didn’t let go of Jaemin’s coat as you basically dragged him out of the classroom.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking around frantically.

“Keep close to the wall,” was your only answer, your hand reaching for one of the guns in your belt. Your senses were now as sharpened as they could be, the smallest of the movements or sounds catching your attention.

Your gut twisted for a second when you saw the neighbouring classroom’s door getting slammed open by Taeyong, who had a steel grip on Mark’s arm; similar to yours and Jaemin’s. Your eyes met for a brief second and he grabbed his gun too, hanging it next to his body.

The wall opposite to the classrooms was made of glass – giving you a clear sight out at the parking lot. One by one, each classroom opened, only to be shut close right after, just two people stepping out and sticking to the wall. The corridor was empty, not even a single soul outside, only the Snakes and the princes – and the echoes you made.

“Ten? What’s going on out there? Is it clear?” Taeyong asked, his voice strained. There was a moment of silence on the line, you could only hear the breathing through the line.

Then, Ten whispered, “it is way too quiet.”

Taeyong and you exchanged a look.

“Maybe we should start moving outside, slowly.” Kun said from the front, from beside the very first classroom on the long hallway.

“Guys wait,” Ten’s voice rang through your ear from the earpiece, “can you see the additional bodyguards?!”

Shit.

There was no one around the cars, waiting for you, or behind the wheels of the cars.

“Fuck, there is no one,” said Yukhei, and his grip on Chenle’s arm tightened. Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked carefully around.

“Winwin you didn’t see anything?” you asked, and for a spare second, there was only silence.  

“Yeah wait,” the Chinese tech expert said then, “I’m looking back on the security cameras. Until then, stay invisible. Duck, if possible.”

At once, all of you switched sides, crouching under the windows; the sounds of your heartbeats were getting stronger by each passing minute. Your guts twisted – just like every time before you got into a fight but you embraced the feeling with your whole heart. Your breath trembled and so did your fingers, but this was what made you feel alive, what made you feel like you were worth something. It meant you were going to prove something – and this time, not for anyone but the princes.

“I see them,” Winwin said then, interrupting your thoughts, and you stiffened. “They are behind the building and behind that small building by the parking lot.”

“We are surrounded, and the additional bodyguards are down. I can see their bodies from here. Not pretty.” Ten added.

“Tell the princes to turn their earpieces on,” Winwin quipped, and you obliged along with the others, reaching behind the young princes’ ears.

“This is not going to end well,” Taeil murmured then, and your lips pressed into a thin line. Well, if he was going into it with that kind of mindset, it wasn’t going to help. At all.

You breathed deeply and thoroughly, calming your senses, clearing your mind. Your priority wasn’t yourself now – it was Jaemin. You looked back, behind your back where he was cradled into a small ball – fear. Fear shone in his eyes as he looked back up at you. It – moved you, you felt something gripping, clawing at your throat.

“Hey,” you whispered to him, “It’s gonna be like a tag game, okay?”

He listened, inclined his head slightly.  

“We are surrounded but – I’m gonna keep you safe, okay? I need you to trust me.”

“You’re a criminal,” he gulped, “I was warned not to trust you too much – “

“Would you rather trust a criminal who is set out to kill you, or would you trust one who is payed to keep you safe? Both are criminals, Your Highness.”

He shut his mouth, pressed it into a tight line. You weren’t sure what to do, what else to say, but nonetheless you gripped his hand and pressed your thumb into his palm.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you murmured, to him, or to yourself – it didn’t matter.

“I have them located,” said Winwin then, his voice making you jump.

“It’s hard to keep track of them, they keep moving,” Ten choked, his voice unsure, for all his attention was on the happenings around the new school building.

“Can you identify them?” Taeyong asked, peeking out the window, fidgeting with his gun. You glanced outside too – but saw nothing.

“No,” Ten whispered, and for a second there was a static sound on the line, “They are in full black, like us. No sign of which gang.”

“Can they see you?” asked Jeno, crouching with Renjun under two windows left. Ten’s murmured “of course not” was as silent as the slice of a knife.

“I called the King’s Department. A bunch of special agents, support and shit. They should be on their ways now,” said Winwin, and you saw Taeyong rolling his eyes.

“That’s not gonna help jackshit if we are not in contact with them. They would be good for distraction.”

You turned to Jaemin and grabbed a knife from your boot.

“Here,” you said and slipped it into his hand, “keep it, if anything happens to me and you need to protect yourself.”

The chirping of the kids from back behind the classrooms reached your ears in waves of grumbles, as if you were underwater. You were surrounded, yes. But every single group had a weakness, no matter how secure they were in terms of skills and weapons and men.

Your gaze locked with Doyoung’s from in front of you. He knew that too, and his eyes narrowed into slits as he realized it – you needed to outsmart them.

“I have an idea,” you said then.

All attention was on you then, and complete silence took over the Snakes, the princes, and the occasionally static-interrupted line too. They were listening, and so you talked.

 Thirty-four minutes later the air was still as death, the wind carried no sound as you lay flat on your stomach by the corner window of the building, inside. Your palms turned clammy from the way you had your hand locked around the grip of the gun. You had no reason to worry – there was two other guns hidden under your clothes, along with three knives and five shuriken.

No, the reason why your heart was beating faster was because the princes were heading out towards the exit of the school – fully conscious of the hidden, crouching figures hidden in the woods, behind the building.

You exhaled and adjusted the earpiece.

“Anything?” you asked, your eyes moving around continuously.

“Z, stop worrying. If they were gonna kill them, they would’ve been dead already,” Yukhei murmured then added with a snicker, “girl you need to get laid, there is too much tension in you.”

“Shut it, Yukhei,” you seethed, and you heard the low snicker on the line.

“I mean, he ain’t wrong,” Doyoung added and you exhaled slowly. Count to ten, count to ten, count to ten.

The princes walked slowly towards the cars – acting as if they haven’t noticed the missing chauffeurs. Just how you told them to do so. They were good, really, their calm remained, there was no panic visible on their angelic features. Maybe, only if you glanced in their eyes for a longer time would you able to see the tint of fear and uncertainty.

Soon, they walked out of the protection of the walls, their steps echoing on the concrete of the parking lot.

“Get ready, guys,” said Winwin then, his voice choked from the intense attention he was paying to the security cameras placed around the building. You watched from behind your cover, and wiped your hands in the dark, smooth material of your jeans. The bandana seemed like a bad idea now, and you tried to keep your breathing calm and slow instead of quick and panicked.

Doyoung and Ten were up on the roof -   it was a long and difficult process really, getting him up through the emergency ceiling exit of the school; based on how much he kept on whining you were sure the young princes had lost all respects they had in him before that.

You kept fidgeting as you stared at their retreating backs. Get in the cars, get in the cars, get in the cars.

“Anything?” Taeyong whispered from somewhere on the second floor.

“Nothing,” Doyoung answered and you sighed. Too calm, this was too calm. You kept your eyes on the tiny glint of metal between the trees – your eyes did not waver.

The princes were by the car when you first saw the movement – but wasn’t from the trees, no.

From behind your back.

You caught the person’s hand right before he could strike down a knife and blocking the way of his arm with your own, you used his impetus to yank him down on the ground.

“THEY’RE HERE!” you screamed and elbowed the dark clothed man on his temple as hard as you could.

Then you ran.

Outside, out of the building, your heart beating fast, your mind revolving around one thing – the safety of the royals. The other group – the one from the woods - was already outside, a wave of obsidian surrounding, blocking the princes’ ways, along with Kun and Taeil. On your way out, you saw Yukhei running in parallel with you, from the opposite direction. His long legs helped him much more than your heels did for you, but it was fine – you were trained like him. Jeno joined you on your other side and the three of you sprinted – the wind zipped past your ears.

“Tae! Get their other side!” you panted. You didn’t hear his reply, if he had any, all your senses were focused on the surrounded princes.

The other group was almost like yours – almost. They were covered in black as well, their jackets, their pants, their boots. Everything, except for the mask.

Their mask was blood red.

Your rapid pants heated your bandana up, you were almost suffocating, but you didn’t care. You held your gun in your hand, so tight almost like your life was depending on it – though it kind of was. Taeyong’s crimson hair emerged from the opposite side of the circle created a few steps away from the car. You should have been faster, should have –

“Who are you?!”

The yell echoed in the empty lot, and you looked at the man, supposedly the one who demanded. You stopped, along with Yukhei and Jeno next to you; the boys distanced away from you, from each other in opposite directions. Jisung stalked closer, his light bangs almost reaching the edge of his bandana as he stared the strangers down from below his eyelashes.

Then it hit you; the strangers were not the slightest aware of who you were. You exchanged a quick glance with Yukhei, whose brows furrowed for a single second. Jeno brushed his dark locks away from his eyes as he tightened his grip on his own gun, lowered down, pointing to the ground by his legs.

Your eyes met with Jaemin’s then, who caught your sight after he turned around completely. His eyes were slightly bigger, shining with concern; but not panic. You kept his gaze and shook your head slightly.

Don’t move.

He gulped, visibly, and turned back. You could only hope he understood.

“There is no one else, no one is covering their asses, boy, they must be beginners,” Ten whispered, his voice soft in the echoes of your earpiece.

You stood a couple of feet away, along with the others, Yukhei, Jeno, Jisung and Taeyong.

Fuck. Five against ten does not come with advantages in combat, even if you were covered by the two best sharpshooters.

They were all men, you noticed then, built heavily and bulkily. Unlike you, they stood with their legs closer, rooted to the concrete like trees.

“They must be beginners. They don’t even know who we are,” you murmured, then fixed your gaze on the man who spoke up again.

“I asked you a question, thugs! Who are you?” his voice was loud and strong, and his eyes kept jumping from your frame to the others’.

Your gazes met with Taeyong’s and he lifted his slit eyebrow at you. A challenge.

You smirked and readjusted your grip on your gun. The cool metal smoothed your roaring blood, calmed your senses.

“We are the night, stranger,” you spoke up, making sure your voice was no more than a lover’s whisper, no more than the slice of a knife through skin. “We are your fear, your nightmare, your destiny.”

“Z, your dramatic speeches start to creep me out – “you heard Ten mutter but Doyoung shushed him. You didn’t pay attention to them, your focus was on the man now, who found your frame, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“A woman?! Is this a joke?” his voice wavered slightly as a chuckle erupted from between his lips.

Your eyebrows lifted gracefully, and you stared back.

“Oh shit, he’s dead,” Doyoung muttered.

Yes, there were things that pissed you off to no end; when your makeup got ruined by one of the boys, when you found out that one of your best dresses were ripped, or when someone sabotaged your missions.

But there was nothing that pissed you off more than this.

Someone underestimating you because of your gender. You know, however, that there was no point in getting yourself worked up over it; it wasn’t you who ended up with a twisted neck or a hole in their foreheads at the end of the day.

It did, however, boil your blood and reddened your vision.

“He’s mine,” you snarled, and you could hear Taeyong letting out a low sigh from the other end of the circle.

The men with red bandanas squirmed as they weren’t exactly sure what to do. Such amateurs, you thought, leaving no one behind to guard their backs.

“Don’t make a bloodbath, guys,” Winwin spoke then, his voice gloriously bored, “There are kids not far from you. It takes ages to get the blood out of concrete.”

“I’m gonna ask one more time, who the fuck are you?” the man shouted again, and you were sure you heard a tinge of panic coating his voice.

“We should be asking the same thing,” Taeyong spoke up then, his voice softer than the silk sheets back in the palace, and you let out a small smile upon hearing it; the only times he used this voice when he was about to let his rage out – so similar to yours; and that was the best thing anyone could witness.

“Who is your Entruster?” Taeyong asked again and the man chuckled, his voice hoarse and raspy; it sent shivers down your spine.  

“None of your business, thug,” he said that word as if it was supposed to be provoke you.

Jeno tilted his head, thin strands of his raven hair falling back into his eyes.

“You keep saying that word; thug. Is that what you are?” his words and the meaning behind them was crystal clear, even though they were muffled by the bandana in front of his lips. Almost all of them stiffened and you saw their leader’s eyes go red with rage.

There we go.

You stayed motionless, unfazed as he grabbed a prince closest to him, Mark.

The prince’s eyes went wide as the stranger pressed a knife to his throat, tight enough to graze his fair skin. Jaemin whipped around again to look at you, but you didn’t move, keeping your eyes on Mark and his captive.

“Leave,” the man hissed from behind his bandana, “and the little prince won’t have a scratch on him.”

“Boy he really does know nothing, who the hell are they?” Ten murmured again, his voice muffled in your earpiece.

But you didn’t listen to the Masterspy, for the whole of your attention was on the men with blood coloured bandanas; you felt the mists of anger slowly taking over your senses. It usually crept its way in your throat with burning laziness; covering your senses with this calm bubbling but it was different then.

The man’s grip on the knife tightened, and so you pushed down that creeping anger inside you and shifted your weight softly.

“What do we do?” you exhaled and Ten clicked his tongue.

“On three, Jeno, you get the bastard off Prince Mark, and stall him, but don’t kill him yet. We need to get out information,” Jeno gave a light incline of his head. “The rest of you, take two other per person. We will shoot as many as we can from up here. Don’t kill, guys. Only injure. Go for legs and arms, okay?”

You didn’t move, waiting for the countdown. And when he last syllables fell off Ten’s lips, that’s when you attacked.

Your instincts kicked in, drove and moved you, and you went with the flow of it. You hurled yourself onto the man in front of you, and when you steadied yourself on his back, that’s when your right leg kicked out, aiming at the person next to you.

The strike made him dizzy and he stumbled forward, not even comprehending what was going on. But then you were already moving, slinging over the man’s shoulder; you let that unconscious, hidden part of your mind lead you – hit after hit, elbow into ribcage, fist up into the chin. He groaned, gripping at his face, but you didn’t stop until he was down.

From your peripheral vision you saw Jeno spinning and throwing punches as if he was something unrestrained – the worst nightmare that had became flesh and bones in front of everyone’s eyes.

A shot went off, and the man holding onto Mark stumbled on the ground, wailing painfully and gripping at his…ass.

It was Doyoung who murmured in a soft, distant voice, “Fuck, only millimetres away from the hole.”

But you couldn’t get their leader – not yet. You glared in the direction of the frozen princes, staring at the unfolding, violent scene in front of them.

You screamed “to the car!” at them before turning back to your previous occupations – your bulky opponents.

Both of them had gained their consciousness back and were now glaring at you with nothing but cloudy fury in their eyes. They didn’t see the vicious grin on your mouth before you hurled towards them again.

You were like Jeno – a whirlwind of everything deadly; misty shadows, unclear but sharp movements.

You were faster, more dexterous than the two meat-mountains standing as if they were a part of the ground underneath them. Whipping two knives out you stalked towards them; one graceful step after another. They pulled out knives too – not as pretty and sharp as yours but it could’ve worked. If they used it against someone who was not you.

Then you pounced; movements rhythmic as a panther’s, calculative like a snake’s. That’s what you were, right? Snake.

You striked to the left first; a slice deep enough to draw blood but light enough not to cut muscle. The other hurled himself at your frame, his slow, heavy movements in perfect contrast against your own. You blocked his attempted stab at your abdomen with you lower arm, twisting his hand until his eyes shut tight in pain. Then you let go and used his momentary slowness to hit his groin with you knee – he howled, gripping at the pained area.

You exhaled, and that was when the punch came, straight into the back of your right ribcage.

You groaned and whirled back around in an attempt to protect yourself, but you were late. The man gripped you by your hips and slammed you back into the ground with a painful thud. The air kicked itself out of your body and you wheezed softly.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

You heard a faint yell of Yukhei’s, he screamed your name but you ignored it and rolled away from the forceful stab that was coming in your direction.

They were slow – but they were ruthless. Your vision became blurry and the dull pain throbbed through your body, but you pushed yourself back up – just in time to block another attack.

He flung his right arm – the one with the knife again, but you ducked and grabbed that arm, using his own force to pull him down.

Falling onto the ground he huffed again and jumped back up but a kick into his side slumped him back. You kicked his side repeatedly, his groin, anything your leg reached but he didn’t give up trying to get back up on his feet again.

So, you hurled at him, again, onto the ground, gripping at your knife as if it was a lifeline.

There was now pure adrenalin and rage working in you, your vision was blurred with the continuous movements – you followed your senses, instincts. You kicked and clawed and bit anywhere you reached. The knife fell out of your hand when he blocked one of your attacks with his own – the clear, clinking noise on the concrete rang in your ears.

You couldn’t ask Doyoung or Ten to shoot him, no. You and the man were struggling – rolling on the ground with neither of you giving up. His stony relentlessness made your own fire up, and you kept on clawing at his face, and his body – any surface that was not covered with thick black clothing.

And then he was gone.

By gone, you meant literally gone. Your vision was clear enough to see him jumping off you in hurry, and running, sprinting in the direction of the woods.

What the fuck.

The breath that escaped your mouth was ragged, your chest was heaving rapidly, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to get up and run after the escaped, running group.

“What’s going on?” you could only hear Taeyong’s voice faintly, the low drums of your heartbeat closed off every other noise.

You were still hazy, your vision still blurry as you stared up at the clear sky.

You sensed Yukhei kneeling next to you and asking how you were feeling while laying a hand on your abdomen – you weren’t sure if it really did happen, though. You weren’t sure what was imagination and what was reality; slowly but steadily you felt yourself getting lighter.

There were colours, though – a lot of them. Even with your blurred vision, the azure blue of the sky and the dirty blond of Yukhei’s hair was blindingly clear. His eyes. His doe eyes were widened as he was studying your face, was it really worry etched onto his angelic features? Angelic, yes, he really was angelic unless he was doing some kind of experimentation - either in the lab with his chemicals or with the fragile heartstrings of innocent women.

You softly chuckled to yourself when you remembered the incident three years ago.

His voice was laced with concern, or was it laughter? You weren’t sure, but you remembered him repeating your name. It did bring you back from your memories, and then you saw colours again. Woven together, dancing in front of your eyes – they were all soft, peaceful shades.

The last one of them you saw was the crimson red, dripping off Yukhei’s hand as he lifted his hand from your stomach – and the soft, clear shade of his brown eyes before everything lost colour, and black took over your vision.

part i  part ii

[personagf-moved]

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs: 

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love 

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 

h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 

u // underwear colour: she be black 

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

 What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!