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afreakingdork · 1 month

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You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 8

RotTMNT x Reader

What's with that call, Ump!? Leo's a bit of a pitch point in this week's chapter art by funneylizzie

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis: You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

You were dying.

Not in a medical sense though if you were to be strapped into some type of machine, you imagined your charts would be something worthy of a medical journal. Your heart was pounding out of your chest, you felt lightheaded, your ears were ringing, your skin felt aflame, sweat dotted the back of your neck against the hairs that stood up there, and somehow amongst all that, you found time to do the wave with the rest of the crowd.

Returning to your seat, though your panic attack refused to join in, you shrank as much as you could. It meant squishing against an unrelenting mix of wood or plastic or whatever the bright bench was made of. The hat on your head did little as an additional layer of protection especially when Leo shot up from the row in front of you.

“ARE YOU EVEN WATCHING UMP!? DO US ALL A FAVOR AND SIGN UP FOR LASIK, YOU BLIND BAT!!!”

A baseball game.

Why had you ever agreed to come to a baseball game?

Because you said yes.

Because you were supposed to say yes.

Because that was the whole supposed point to bettering yourself.

You had to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Mikey was supposed to help you.

You should have known hitching your wagon to some great joy would come with karma.

This was your pittance for your strange friendship agreement.

Said man would also be your greatest ruin.

As if on cue and despite yourself, you looked over at said man. Dressed up in way more merch than everyone else, he was his usual beaming ball of incandescent gas. He swam in so much memorabilia that it was hard to believe he could see the field and yet when Leo collapsed back into the seat in front of him, Mikey leaned forward to poignantly discuss whatever contested call you had missed.

Of your current lineup, Raph, Mikey and you had seats in one row while April, Leo, and Donnie had the next. The jockeying for position had been a violent one and you’d opted out of the drawn straws. It seemed poignant that you would accept whatever was left as that was how you acquired your ticket. The only reason you were even here was because Splinter had thrown out his back again and some as of yet unseen man named Draxum refused to accommodate what he apparently called silly human rituals.

Of which had you seated at an example of America’s greatest pastime and another family outing. New York, in her efforts to better embrace mutant kind, had offered up both discounted and specialty seating for mutants in a show of solidarity. At first and predictably, said tickets were highly scrutinized by the Hamato. They had bad blood with baseball stadiums and as such weren’t sure if the entire thing was a trap. In the end, being able to openly attend a game had won out. Thankfully, this didn’t seem like a ruse and so far it was what you assumed should occur during a baseball game.

Not that you had ever been.

Sporting events were meant to be seen through screens.

Yet you wanted more.

You had to be selfish.

You had to rise above your station.

Look where greed got you.

You were having a panic attack and about to ruin everyone’s day. The Hamato finally had a chance to go out and be a part of life as they always deserved. Something you casually threw away on a daily basis. The insult to injury was not lost on you as you spiraled uselessly, but it was the drain you were rounding that threatened to swallow you up. The stakes only made the fall that much steeper. It was your body's fault.

Not something built for bus rides or capitalistic toils, your faulty neurons sent out the wrong chemicals at even worse times. Your adrenaline was confused. It wasn’t in its usual containment unit which you liked to imagine was a rickety old box from some old horror movie. The beast had, of course, escaped and went on a rampage that wasn’t its fault. It wasn’t meant to be there at all. It was meant to be stowed away somewhere safe. It wasn’t meant to be among screaming fans and thus it left your body in ruins with what you could only label as your worst case scenario.

You would soon pass out.

It’d be a thing because it always was. Doctors would understand and throw benzos at you, but for the layman, passing out was something dying people did.

Good thing it felt exactly like that.

No, fear was the mind killer.

It was the little death.

You’d expire here in the stands and they’d do little more than memorialize you on a bench.

No, you were avoiding that kind of talk.

Focus.

What was the rest of the quote?

It was somewhere in your brain.

You could walk back from the ledge.

You had managed before with only minor catastrophizing.

In fact, you’d only actually passed out from panic attacks a handful of times in your life.

A doctor had once told you something.

What’s the worst that could happen?

So you passed out.

So what?

You would wake up and be fine.

You would be okay.

The stupid idiot probably hadn’t had a panic attack in his whole life.

No, that was mean.

You had wherewithal which was a good sign. Since panic attacks came from the brain, working through them always seemed like a war against one’s self. You had to be smarter, more clever, and flexible as the same trick to stop them never seemed to work twice. There were some consistencies; it was never good to focus on symptoms because that would mean you were ultimately prone. Given a momentary distraction and since mantras weren’t currently working, you thought maybe you could save yourself with memories. Just as the recollection of your doctor has inspired ire instead of further illness, you moved to comb through what had occurred most recently. Since the ballgame itself had caused your current state, you inched backwards to what had occurred just before it.

It wasn’t the best choice, but Raph had been memorable if nothing else.

As soon as you had entered the park, the oldest brother had diverted your course with his giant form. You tried to glance at the others only to find them wishing various forms of good luck as they got to go to your seats. It had taken you an alarming amount of time to remember Donnie’s warnings. You imagined that was the moon’s way to warn without pretense. It was how night was foreboding and it didn’t immediately illuminate how the ground could shake. It was Raph’s way as the solid earth to find a suitable area behind a beam for his discussion. It was just open enough that others would pass, but the privacy afforded said those walking by would do just that. As others went to get food, hit the restrooms, or find their seats, you were stuck as Raph gave you his shovel talk.

It was highs and lows as his hero side was at obvious odds with the supposed necessity to strike fear into you. For each time he tried to warn you about hurting Mikey, he’d also backtrack by quickly adding that there would be no actual injuries at your expense. It made for an odd display that reminded you very much of their ninpo demonstration. They were heroes with the power’s of gods and yet they were also wisecracks and had insecurities the same as any other. They were both regular people and far beyond mere mortals.

By the end, the content hadn’t necessarily struck fear into your heart, but the way Raph’s finger had pointed accusatorily into your chest spoke to more. You were treading dangerous waters and Raph had been the first to actually confirm it. You had long worried about that exact fact yourself, but you had only gotten Donnie and Mikey’s takes so far. Both were painfully bias and, though it was obvious Raph was as well, he had a different edge. For him, he’d been fussing over his super powered siblings his whole life and knew the faults better than anyone.

He was a good big brother, you thought as he dotted off the conversation by putting his giant paw on your head. He rubbed affection there and airily said he had faith that you probably wouldn’t come to any bad end. It was there again, that odd assurance the Hamato all had in themselves, and you stewed on it as Raph led you to your seats. It was there that you had entered the killing floor where the first anxieties cropped up as the group was agitated because they’d missed the opening pitch due to Leo’s refusal to be the portal bus.

From there you’d stumbled step by step into a panic attack as the sour mood was compounded by the growing noise. It was as if being trapped in a room filling with water as the terrible cacophony drowned you. It spoke of the amount of people in the stands which was daunting enough. This was a special day; mutants and humans colored your stands as a means to represent the lovely tapestry of the city. A commingling of all types, this was the lifeblood and solidarity that American life touted but never achieved. You should have felt a sense of pride at having been a part of it.

All you felt was dismay that you were about to ruin it.

Each step was a threat of falling. Both metaphorically and physically, you imagined yourself tripping down the stairs. You would bust your head open and the leaking blood would light some planted naysayer. They would use you as their excuse that mutant’s were a threat to humanity.

That might be a little too dramatic.

It was far more likely that you’d knock over someone’s drink. It would then tumble in a chain reaction that would somehow cause a foam finger to fly out onto the field. There it would hit the bat boy who would strike the mascot who would then roll out onto the field and interrupt a great run.

Mutant’s Ruin Big Leagues!

The headline would run for years.

You would be little more than a footnote.

You were the stepping stone for hatred.

You’d pave the way no matter what.

You were spiraling.

Going through your memories had led you back to misery.

The claws of anxiety were dug into your back and the symptoms were playing out yet again. Any movement at all was akin to a scalping. A player hit a ball for a crack that deafened your swimming ears before the contradictory roar of the crowd fried what was left of your nerves. Left battered and to drain in your seat, the other’s rallied and you were left burning under an exaggerated heat lamp.

Your pocketful-of-sunshine partner had done very little. Mikey had not registered any of your distress though you couldn’t blame him. There were no obvious outward signs of anxiety until it was too late. From the outside you’d simply appear to faint. Only those studying you would notice how tight your jaw was or how your pupil shook. With Mikey’s helmet, flags, and sticks, there was no way he could see anything so small even if he were to check in.

He couldn’t know that trying to verbalize in this state made it worse. The labor of speech was yet another stressor. If this attack’s onset hadn’t been an immediate one, you might have been able to warn someone. Instead it had been a flash in the pain occurrence which meant you were using every ounce of your sanity to not succumb.

You could stave this off.

You had before.

Raph whooped loud to announce his return from the concession stand.

The others readied themselves.

This day wasn’t for you.

This was for them.

You weren’t going to ruin it.

You were still conscious.

You were still here.

“Finally!” Leo’s mouth slacked around his annoyance. “Dog me, bro!” He held up a hand as if to catch it.

Raph only stared where his arms were totally full. “No.”

“Not even!” April’s head popped out from behind Raph’s form. “C’mon and help pass everything out if you’re so eager.”

“Fine!!” Leo whined long and loud as he got up.

Food and drinks were distributed and you butted your arm against Mikey’s cup. Ice cold condensation one of the best mediators, you let it chill your arm as Raph’s load lightened. Feeling a little more present, you watched as Donnie received a wrapped sandwich which signaled the last of the snapper’s load.

“Where’s my hot dog?”

“Uh…” Raph strung out the sound looking to April who shrugged her shoulders, hands empty.

“My chili cheese dog!?” Leo spoke a little louder.

“It’s, uh… we totally ordered it, didn’t we, April!?”

“S-sure… did…” Her eyes darted away. “I coulda swore…”

“One request! No drink! No nothing! I ask for a hot dog, all beef, the classic, covered in musty chili from a burned pot and cheese so plastic it’s going to be killing a fish in the ocean long after I’m dead and gone!!!”

“Leo, it’s just a-” Mikey started up, chips falling from his square nacho container.

“Don’t!” Leo flew over his seat to slam a finger into Mikey’s lips. “Don’t you dare, of all people, besmirch the name of America’s single greatest ballpark food by saying ‘it’s just a hot dog.’”

“Could be boiled peanuts.” Donnie remarked casually, obviously relishing a chance to fuel the fire.

“Nuts?! Where?!” Raph ducked and knocked over his drink.

“None I’d let near you, Red King.” Donnie crooned.

The cup hit the ground and dripped down toward Leo.

Leo screamed at the trickle which silenced several rows and sent your blood pressure through the roof.

No amount of cold cola was going to save you now.

Coming off his screech, Leo slammed a foot off onto the steps and made it clear he was going to storm off. “If you’re going to do something! You have to do it yourself, apparently!!”

Muttering a string of curses over how his family couldn’t do a single thing right, Leo led bowlegged fury up the stairs.

“Well, he’s been a peach tonight!” Raph turned, not looking the least bit guilty. “Damage control?”

“I’ll make it worse.” Donnie spoke, breezy.

April snatched his sandwich away.

Donnie glowered at her before spinning to Mikey. “Rock, paper, scissors, again.”

Mikey shook his head. “I actually got this one, I think. I know one of the chef’s and I think I can get Leo into a box. That’ll fix his mood right up.”

“That’s teamwork!” April cheered, throwing a hand out which Mikey high fived.

“Take this and cheer in my stead!” Mikey spun away from the maneuver and poured an avalanche of goods onto your form. Fumbling all of it and the food then placed on top, he was halfway up the stairs before he called back. “Mine is yours! Have fun!”

Dismay.

You looked over your shoulder with tears in your eyes.

The sweep returning to the field was an abysmal one.

Another scream tore through the crowd.

Raph nearly matched April’s volume.

Loud.

Everything was too loud.

The ringing wouldn’t stop.

Food, colors, it swirled all too much in your lap.

It then drained.

Away, away.

You mechanically dumped what you could into Mikey’s empty seat and watched your hands shake violently as you retreated.

You squeezed them to your chest.

It was too much.

Electric discharge went through your brain without proper release.

The cage wasn’t cracked, it was busted.

Without repair.

In a blink, you saw the vignette.

That was the final symptom.

You were about to pass out.

Body screaming amongst everything else, you swirled with the dizziness as fainting came on.

Silence encircled you.

You blinked slowly into something purple.

You could still see.

That didn’t make sense.

Your hearing always went after your vision.

It always occurred the same way.

There was a moment of dark, after your vision was cut, that preceded the memory loss of unconsciousness.

It shouldn’t be quiet yet.

Something squeezed your cheeks.

You gasped a breath.

One that sucked greedily on wakefulness.

It was so blessedly quiet.

Your hands moved to your ears on instinct.

You felt warmth under your fingertips, but not on your head.

Either you did or didn’t have your sense of touch; the lopsided nature didn’t make sense.

A small stroke of your pads said you were touching skin.

There shouldn’t be anyone else’s on your head and confusion carried you to a sort of clarity.

Another squeeze.

It was a reminder to breathe.

You were supposed to breathe.

You sucked a quaky one and caught hold of a wrist.

It was so close to your face that it didn’t make sense.

Then you saw eyes.

Or rather, you finally comprehended there was a pair close to yours.

Concern painted in dark depths, it took several blinks for you to register its owner.

Donnie had his hands around your head.

‘What are you doing?’ It felt like you mouthed the words because you couldn’t hear them.

You couldn’t hear anything.

‘Panic attack.’ Donnie enunciated slowly so you could catch the familiar mouth movements even though no sound reached you.

You nodded and squeezed your eyes shut to find tears dotting them.

When was the last time you blinked?

The burn said too long and you hunched forward.

Donnie came with you and prevented you from hitting the back of his seat.

Held steady, you felt weepy little whines in your throat and felt all the more pathetic.

You were having a panic attack.

Were.

You hadn’t passed out.

Blinking with recognition, exhaustion hit you.

Having run the equivalent of five marathons all while seated, you brought your gaze back up to him.

He waited there without judgment.

He held you, a steady current.

You caught his arms and squeezed.

He’d caught you at the precipice and you hadn’t gone over.

You gripped him in desperation as he felt like your only lifeline.

Twice now.

Though the other was his own making, twice Donnie had held you together.

How did he feel being your handler?

How must he feel dealing with you?

You wondered how much guilt played a factor.

You’d owe him at this rate.

No matter what part he’d played then, he was your savior now and holding onto him felt like the only way for you to stay safe.

He was the only thing keeping you tethered to his plane.

Probably scratching at him with how pathetic you were, you felt him pull.

His raft keeping you afloat, you buoyed a little shake before you felt the warmth of his forehead hit yours.

A single contact point sent waves of heat throughout your body and with it a flood of a new kind of chemical.

One you didn’t currently have a name for, it was the coziness of being by a fire and warming of a bone deep chill.

You went a calculated slack against him and butted into his head to get a little more of those good feelings.

He allowed it and you settled into a soothing current.

His arms soon shifted, settling against the back of the seat separating the two of you and you wedged yourself between them as a ballast. Comfortable to a point minus the fact you very much wanted to sleep, you didn’t mourn much when he pulled his head away. Keeping his hands steady around you, you gave him a dopey expression for the solace he’d given you and he shook his head with a tiny smile in return.

He squeezed the sides of your head again and at first you thought it was admonishment, but you quickly felt there was something else there. His hands slid a little lower and you released your lock on him to explore what it was. Unable to move much further above his fingers, you brushed to find a band of metal. It revealed little and a twist within his palm found a circle encasing your ear. Whatever it was almost felt like headphones and with that thought you realized it was the goggles he always wore.

You sent all your surprise toward him.

You had no evidence of it, but the fact that you’d never seen him without them seemed to mean they were important.

Except, for whatever reason, he’d placed them on your head.

‘I’m sorry-!’

He pinched your cheek.

‘Ow!’

You earned another pinch.

Thinking maybe he didn’t want you to talk, you slicked your expression into a wounded one.

That got a bit of a smile and you decided he was a sadist as he tapped your left ear cover.

There was no sound and instead a vibration against your head.

Unsure of what he wanted, you turned that direction and he curled his large hand around your ear before barely lifting the headset. Sound ate up the new real estate, but he quickly tucked his head beside yours to force it out. “Status?”

“Better?” You sounded raspy and you jolted a little now that you could hear yourself.

“Noise canceling.” He explained, his voice steady amongst the leaking sounds of a baseball game.

“Don’t… you need these?”

“Someone else needed them more.”

“How’d you know?” You rested your cheek against his.

He stiffened a little against you, but you weren’t sure if it was from the contact or the question.

Why was it so easy to be familiar with him?

You should be terrified of him.

You should hate him.

He seemingly appeared only during your worst moments.

You were wrung out.

You would stop interacting with him like this another time.

Now he was your life preserver.

“I saw you. I noted the symptoms.” He hesitated once before adding, “I… know the feeling all too well…”

It was the content then.

You might not know the finer details, but from what the Hamato had saved the world from, you imagined the aftermath they dealt with was equally large.

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled back.

“If that’s for taking these then you know the repercussions.” The hand that was still cupping your face turned with fingers ready to snag your cheek.

“No! The other thing! Def the other thing!”

“I never said.” You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his eyes narrow with suspicion. “Pity?”

“Understanding.” You rubbed your cheek against his to enforce your apology so he’d hopefully accept. “I’m sorry you know what this feels like.”

“I suppose I could say the same.” He ended his statement with a thoughtful hum.

“Thank you. You… you really saved me.”

“Statically speaking and based on your health records, a panic attack would not be lethal for you.”

“We really need to establish boundaries.” Your voice flattened out.

“I gathered that information before.” He had a bit of a complaint to him. “As in when I was still evaluating your morality.”

“Doesn’t make it okay. What if I got your doctor notes just because I thought you were a bad guy?”

“I’d applaud you for breaking into my system and try to fold you into my evil army.”

You pulled away to view him.

He shrugged nonchalantly, but it only further contested the great care he exhibited in making sure his hand still blocked out excessive noise.

“How’d you notice? No one else did. Weren’t you watching the game?”

“I was until Leo threw his little temper tantrum.”

Donnie had watched Leo leave like everyone else.

He was in front of you.

He would have had to turn around.

You would have been in his periphery.

You could only think of how very much that suited the moon.

Where the sun blasted its way through its stage, the moon was reflected light. It needed a source; it needed a certain level of attention. It also revealed. Where the sun poured out lumens indiscriminately, the moon carved out the dark. Seeking to reveal that which was hidden, it acted as an uncaring guiding light. A savior to many, its fickle nature turned the rest away.

You moved your hands over his and squeezed. “Thank you.”

“You’ve said that already.” He didn’t seem to care, exactly as you thought.

“Don’t like repetition?”

“I don’t like wasted time” He scoffed.

You jarred and his hands tightened like a wrench.

“Which this is not, to be clear! Do you understand?”

“No…?”

“I don’t need your thanks.” His brows came down, serious. “That’s superfluous. This.” He pressed your cheeks. “This I would do as long as necessary without a thought of complaint. There’s a difference. I’m saying it’s obvious.”

Your lids lowered.

You guessed it was.

“You missed the game…”

“Ah, yes. Missing how every few minutes the golden retriever mutant a few seats down will block my view and throw slobber around? Miss how Leo elbows me every time there’s a run? Miss the repulsive stickiness that seems to cling to this entire stadium and how no amount of hosing down will make me feel as though I’ve washed it off? Sure, I missed so much.”

You stared at him.

“That was sarcasm.” He felt the need to clarify.

You laughed.

The sound came with a joyous feeling in your chest that you usually didn’t feel until after you’d slept off the effects of your panic attack.

Riding the high, your vision uncrinkled and you clipped the stunned expression on Donnie’s face.

Your lips dropping with a question, you might have teased him about it had something else broke through the barrier of Donnie’s hand.

“Y/N!” Mikey yelled.

You were released and the headphones dropped into place with Donnie only giving one quick squeeze to the left side.

The softshell returned to the game as if he’d never touched you.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Mikey kicked the junk in his seat out of the way to reach you.

You could hear him.

Glancing once at Donnie, you could also tell the rest of the stadium sounds were far quieter.

There must have been a setting he’d activated in that last touch.

Something that blocked out background noise.

“Y/N!!!” Mikey caught one of your hands where it was still hung in the air from the person you were once holding.

“I… I had a panic attack.” You explained in a voice that was probably too soft, but you weren’t sure how to modulate your volume with the headset dulling it yet.

Mikey’s crestfallen expression was quickly buoyed as he caught a glimpse of Donnie’s goggles. “So that’s what Donnie was doing! These help him a ton! Don!!” Mikey turned his joy on his brother.

Donnie might have stayed stubbornly away if Leo, who had also returned and was not sporting a mouth full of chili dog, hadn’t shoved an elbow into him. “Look at Dontron, over here! Being the hero all on his own!”

“Help was asked and I simply responded to an inquiry!” Donnie growled, clearly flicking his gaze to you in his periphery before it flew back to Leo.

You smiled.

“Are you alright now?” Mikey fussed, looking you over.

“Tired.” You admitted.

“We gotta put something on that glaring chrome dome!” Leo took off his hat and plopped it on Donnie’s head.

“Leo!” Donnie shrieked. “This has chili on it!!”

“A bonus!” Leo winked.

“Bonus this!” Donnie raised his fist, but Raph had the reach to catch it.

The older brother then quickly extracted the hat and smushed it and Leo back down into his respective seat. “How about we give Donnie a prize? I’m feeling kinda bad that Raph didn’t notice neither.”

“T-that’s okay…” Your hands came up.

“Downplay your reactions.” Donnie sneered at everyone but you. “You don’t feed panic attacks; you ignore them.”

“Then let’s enjoy the game!” April cheered and yanked Leo who splattered himself with more chili in the process.

“I suppose I wouldn’t say no to kettle corn however...” Donnie mumbled as he faced the field while craning a head to his arm for a lackluster display.

No one else reacted and you returned to find Mikey patiently smiling at you.

Had he not heard?

He was just as close.

You had a feeling it had something to do with the goggles.

“Can… can we get… kettle corn?” You asked Mikey.

“Of course! Maybe some water too? You haven’t had anything…”

“Yeah… sure…”

“Let’s go! Don’t worry if your legs are weak, I can lift four whole Raphs!”

“The projections don’t weigh as much as the original!” Raph chirped to annoy him.

Mikey pointedly ignored that and offered you his hand.

You took it.

It had a certain warmth.

You would try harder to tell Mikey next time.

You couldn’t keep relying on Donnie to save the day.

The purple brother invaded your thoughts and you tugged, ready to remove the goggles.

Donnie’s voice wafted into your ears. “Keep them.”

“But…” You stared at the back of his unmoving form

“Take care of them and return in one piece.”

You nodded.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?” You spoke absently.

“Who are you talking to?” Mikey leaned into your vision.

You gave one final glance at Donnie before staring right into bright orange. “No one, let’s go.”

💛 NEXT 💛

Whoop thank you to my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

#sunshinemoonshinefic #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #donatello hamato #donnie x reader #rise donnie #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt Donnie #me #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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lineffability · 11 months

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on crowley's loneliness

there's sth that has been sitting with me vis a vis Crowley, loneliness, and what the fandom, largely, has made of it... and it is the notion, simply put, that Crowley is - well - lonely.

but of course he is, you might say, I've even got textual evidence for it! and you might quote Good Omens Season 2 Episode A Companion to Owls directed by Douglas MacKinnon and written by John Finnemore, and you might point to the final conversation of the Job Minisode, when they agree that being a demon/angel who goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can is...lonely!

and, yes, that's right and true.

and yet. still. I want to argue against Crowley being lonely. at least to some extent. I'm not saying crowley isn't lonely, it's more about how that loneliness is sometimes portrayed/interpreted/understood?

I think we need to look at Crowley's loneliness on different levels: his loneliness vis a vis humanity and his loneliness vis a vis the occult/his job/his place in the ineffable scheme of things

because it's right there in the quote, isn't it? it's lonely to be a demon who doesn't feel part of hell. it's not about being lonely on earth with the humans.

when it comes to humanity and friendships to humans, regardless how close or not they may be, Crowley is not lonely! he forms attachments, he meets and knows tons of people, he schemes, he has fun (Jane Austen anyone???? I mean it's actual canon) and yes of course they all die - of course Crowley's human friendships, just like Aziraphale's, are always slightly detached because , well y'know, they will outlive every single human they will ever meet, and that will influence your attachment style. they don't even really meet humans as equals, arguably, but they both have been shown to continuously engage in friendships, whether those are superficial acquaintances (like neighbor Maggie to Aziraphale) or genuine connections (like Leonardo Da Vinci or Jesus, both canonically really close relationships of Crowley's!!) but it's not even the fact that human friendships are fleeting that makes him lonely in the end - it doesn't cheapen the experience. he's used to people coming and going. it's the way things are.

where the loneliness hits, and yes it hits hard, is on the supernatural level. hated by heaven and hell etc etc. before he became closer with Aziraphale (so roughly around Job) he was truly a solo agent, all alone against the not-world, and this experience of defying both hell and his arguable purpose as a demon made him lonely where it mattered most. but Aziraphale has since been with him, they are the same, they are a group of the two of them and they are only lonely together, which is a different kind of loneliness. it holds defiance and partnership - us against the world.

he still struggles with purpose, both his own and that of the universe, he struggles with his own love for humans and God's seeming indifference to them, and there's loneliness in that too, or at least pain, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have any friends??

ah I think this is the bit that gets me! that people think he doesn't have any friends! or that he doesn't have a life outside of Aziraphale! there we are, I have arrived at the core of my problem apparently. (idk if I'm making any sense with this incoherent rambling, I'm making it up as I go)

but basically I just have been irked by seeing this idea a few to many times that's basically: 'aziraphale is a happy little socialite who draws friends to him like moths to an angelic flame while crowley needily and sadly and longingly waits by himself for the angel to grace him with his company' (this is slightly exaggerated maybe but you get my drift, and I'm sure you've seen takes like that) (I love pining Crowley as much as anyone believe me, and oh boy does he do pine - but you know what I mean right??) (I just love this stupid optimistic and loving demon too much)

#good omens #ineffable husbands #my omens #i might even venture to say that Aziraphale is the more reclusive one #but thats another post maybe

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cloudyskye9000 · 4 months

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'JEALOUS'

Who would suspect that that soft-shelled turtle could be jealous? Why do I say that? Well...

As was customary, every week they had to go out to explore outside the base, to make sure that the Krang were not enslaving more humans, Yokais or other resistance who were looking for help.

The main volunteer was always Clarity, despite being in charge of training the younger recruits, she was the one who always kept the hope that there would be survivors. Normally, she always went with April and Cassandra, along with other recruits, but this time she would not count on them.

Once she gave notice to Leonardo that she was going out, Raphael also proposed to accompany her, he did not want her to go out alone.

But, none of them realized that they were heard by a certain turtle; Donatello.

For some strange reason, Donnie felt a strange sensation, he didn't know why, but he didn't like it at all.

Unexpectedly, he rises from his seat and raising his voice slightly: 'I'm coming with you too!'

That came as a surprise to Raph, Leo, Mikey and Clarity. They all knew that Donatello didn't like to go out, much less leave his lab and take care of the entire security system, but apparently today would be the exception.

While Raph and Clarity waited for Donnie to be equipped. He couldn't stop feeling that uncomfortable and annoying sensation, he didn't take his eyes off both of them. Obviously, Leo and Mikey would not let that moment slip away to bother him, since they sensed what was happening (he would not let that moment slip away to do something to that pair either). Donatello could see how his brother and that girl were teasing or smiling at each other: why is she smiling at Raph like that? Is there something going on between them? Donnie questioned that at every moment during the whole patrol.

Unfortunately, they were unsuccessful in finding anyone. However, that day on patrol brought something home to Donnie, something that would change him from now on...

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #rise donnie #rise raph #rise clarity #rise leo #rise michelangelo #rottmntfuture #rottmnt future leo #rottmnt future donnie #rottmnt future mikey #rottmnt future raph #rottmntfutureclarity #digital art

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spoopyblues214 · 11 months

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IKEA

A ficlet about a dream I had where I went to ikea with the disaster twins. Second person, you decide if it's platonic or romantic I don't know lmao

Also to the ask I got, requests are open! Yours will be next and to anyone else who's interested just send an ask

Word count: 610

°•.•°

You walked through the entrance with the two turtles, only for Leo to take your hand and pull you along. Apparently, you hadn't been walking fast enough for the slider. In turn you grabbed onto Donnie's arm, making him fumble his phone before holding it with just his free hand and giving you the other one to hold. When Leo slowed, he swung your hands back and forth, which you gladly attributed to. Donnie rubbed circles and lines onto the back of your hand as the two of you walked, but he didn't look up from his phone.

Every now and then Leo would break away and come back to show a silly trinket or make a pun on the swedish name for an item, which had you smiling and rolling your eyes. Donnie didn't gain any interest until the displays turned into example rooms, which is where he began to split off and mumble to himself about the decor. You'd follow, stand next to him and rock on your heels unless you felt like picking up a smaller thing to inspect in the fake bedrooms. Once you got to the display kitchens, Donnie got this strange look in his eye, and you couldn't decipher it until he spoke.

"Shelldon's been struggling processing things lately, though I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that."

I had to try very hard to keep from smiling, before replying, "I'm not the one keeping him from recharging his energy at night, working on hundreds of unfinished projects."

He failed at hiding his smirk about the fact that you were in on the joke, but still continued, "oh, I'M the one keeping him from recharging? Maybe if you didn't get him sucked in to all those video games-"

"You're upset with me for rewarding good behavior? Don, when I'm not around he's miserable," the argument had been started, and the fake anger providing entertainment from passersby was rewarding.

It was especially fun for the two of you to walk the tightrope that the little drone could be an actual kid. Leonardo had come by with wooden birds on metal wire legs only to almost drop them at the shouting match the two of you had gotten into. Though, after his jaw un-dropped, he was losing his shit, trying not to laugh and fighting an uphill battle whenever someone passed by and made faces at the two of you arguing. He made damn sure to take pictures to laugh at later. The two of you came to the conclusion that Donnie would stop keeping Shelldon operating even if he was still working on something after twelve am. You would have to stop pampering him for every little thing, even if you were the only one who did so for the little drone.

You took both your turtles hands and led them to the cafeteria, where Donnie had just the meatballs, you had yours with gravy, and Leo had his with the lingonberry sauce. When Leo was done he kept stealing your mashed potatoes, so Donnie gave you his after you ran out. After lunch you all made for the exit, Leo still appearing with random items that caught his interest, though he stopped with the puns. You were easily distracted as Donnie went and paid for something.

Once out the door, the slider teleported all of you back to the layer, where you were scooped up by Raph for a movie night. Later that night you found a stuffed turtle on you bed that looked a little derpy, the tag labeled "BLÅVINGAD." How the twins had managed to sneak it past you was a mystery.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt x reader #tmnt #donnie x reader #leo x reader #tmnt x reader #spoopywriting

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ramzawrites · 2 years

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Christmas Kiss - Donatello x Reader

FEM

Pairings: Donatello x Reader

Characters included: Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, April, Shelldon

Warnings: n/a

Series: A request!

Summary: Y/N is helping Donnie with the lights for christmas since the family was so nice to invite them over for the holidays. Unbenkownst to the two the rest of the family is using this to finally set the two up via mistletoe.

Request: Hello Ram! 💕

Can I request a long Christmas fluff oneshot with prompts: “Look up, there’s mistletoe!” from Mikey, “Um, D-donnie? You k-know what that means, r-right?” and [An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.] about Rottmnt Donnie getting caught under the mistletoe with shy!fem!human!reader together at his home? Hint#1: This mistletoe idea was Mikey, Leo, Raph, Splinter, April and Shelldon's matchmaking plan! 😂 Hint#2: Shelldon who holds a mistletoe because he is so very mischievous matchmaker robot, haha. 😂 I live for flustered Rottmnt Donnie! 💘 Please??

~🍓 (she)

Word count: 2780

Authors Note: I'm sorry this is so late but I've been busier than I thought I would be around this time but I still wanted to finish this request and post it. I know it's like a full month after the holiday season but I hope you will still enjoy this.

Y/N did not have anything planned for this holiday season and she was loving it. Her parents were living a few states over and decided to finally travel around for the holiday season since for their last wedding anniversary the family got together to gift them a vacation. The rest of the family was either too far away or decided to do their own thing as well and seeing how all her roommates were off to visit their own families for their respective holidays, Y/N had the small apartment for herself.

She didn’t need to decorate, she didn’t need to plan out a dinner with her family. No, she was just planning on sitting in her room with some microwavable food and watching one of her favorite shows on her laptop. The most stressful part would just be the phone calls on Christmas day but those would go over fast.

Now when her friends, aka the four turtle mutants and April, heard about this they were absolutely aghast. Some more than others. Apparently, they couldn’t allow Y/N being alone on Christmas Eve and promptly invited her over for the day. They even roped her into coming over every now and again to help with decorating, baking cookies and the like.

And while Y/N tended to get stressed out when it comes to social interaction, she actually enjoyed the time with them.

Everyone seemed to have their own job. Mikey took care of the food for the holidays, Raph and April were the ones looking for a Christmas tree, Splinter went into the Hidden City to deal with any kind of shopping, Leo took care of most of the decoration while Donnie helped him when it came to the lights and even the music. Though the others kept looking over his music choices just to be sure.

Since out of all the people Y/N got along with Donnie the best, he immediately assigned her to lights duty alongside him. He also might have used this as an excuse to start teaching Y/N about simple electronics and the like. Y/N once said that she would love to be able to actually talk with him about his inventions but just didn’t have the knowledge. Now he sometimes took the chance to begin teaching her things.

And Y/N has really been trying her best to follow along which Donnie noticed and appreciated hence why she was allowed to go into his lab with his permission when he wasn’t in the lair. Usually this would only happen when the group needed some technical back up during missions.

This usually ended up with Y/N hurriedly working on Donnie’s computer while Donnie’s AI Shelldon told her what to do. This was also the reason why Y/N and Shelldon were pretty much besties at this point. So much so that Shelldon would sometimes ignore Donnie’s orders to do some fun things with Y/N when she was around. During his rebellious phase he even snuck over to Y/N’s apartment to complain to her about Donnie.

The phrase “Y/N would let me do this.” Was sometimes heard thrown through Donnie’s lab ever since then.

This coupled with the simple fact that the shy Y/N but was the most comfortable with Donnie and since he himself acted more like a father towards Shelldon, the others would joke that the two were divorced and Shelldon was their child. The bot loves playing into it so much so that he was moaning about not having two Christmases when the others invited Y/N over for the holidays.

Y/N laughed as she wrapped the last bit of the lights around the tree that Raph brought in together with April, Shelldon hovered around her head, obscuring her vision “Shell, please, I can’t see where I’m putting the lights down like that. Besides if you get so close some of the pine leaves or the cable might get tangled up in your rotor blades.”

He did indeed fly to the side but not before bumping his little head against Y/N’s cheek “Don’t worry, dude. I, like, totally know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, that is straight up a lie, Shelldon.” Donnie hissed. He was sitting on a beanbag and was currently hastily repairing a cable with electrical tape that Shelldon accidentally ripped by tangling it up in his blades.

“That is in the past, bruh. I know better now.” The bot only replied as he slowly flew over to Y/N’s now free arms. She immediately caught him knowing this behavior of him pretty well by now. Frankly he loved being a bit more rebellious when Y/N was around and hanging around her since he knew that Donnie wouldn’t be outright mad at her.

And Y/N very much knew she was being used as a human shield but didn’t mind it too much. She loved the little guy after all. She might be shy and isn’t one to immediately shoot back a sarcastic comment, but she is content with teasing Donnie a bit by helping Shelldon.

Donnie just sighed “You are lucky that you only destroyed the outer layer and not actually the wire inside and be glad that your rotor blades didn’t get destroyed as well, then again, I would have been more disappointed in myself if a simple flimsy cable would destroy them.”

While Donnie spoke Shelldon leaned more against Y/N, she wasn’t sure if he just did it for show or if he actually enjoyed the contact. She knew he is a sentient AI but how far all of this went she had no idea.

When the robot didn’t respond Donnie turned around to see him snuggled up in Y/N arms. She would have expected a snarky comment from him but instead he looked almost amused. Maybe the holiday season was getting even to very matter-of-factly mutant.

Y/N couldn’t help but blush as he just kept staring at her and Shelldon with a raised drawn-on eyebrow and a soft smile.

He seemed to catch on himself that he was staring, he cleared his throat and walked towards the nearest wall to hang the recently repaired cable with the lights up.

“Okay, lazy bones, these are the last of the lights.”

Y/N might be shy, but she was at this point good friends with Donnie which meant she couldn’t let the insult stand like this “Lazy bones? Shell and I put on all the lights on the tree. We were the ones working while you were sitting comfortably on the beanbag.”

He let out an annoyed, yet clearly sarcastic, huff “Scoff! Backtalk from you? Shelldon is a bad influence on you, Y/N.”

Of course, Shelldon had to immediately roll his eyes “Sure. Anyway, if all the lights are up, do you want me to get the others to take a look?”

Donnie nodded as he took another look at the cables, checking if everything was connected correctly “Yes, that would be very much appreciated. I’m sure they want to see how this all turned on as well.”

Y/N let go of the little drone so he could fly off and call the others to the living room where the three have been working. It didn’t take long for the rest of the family to come sauntering into the room and take a look around to see the, turned off, lights all around them.

Mikey was carrying a plate with some decorated cookies, he walked around and happily pressed one into everyone’s hands. Y/N had to giggle when she saw that the cookie that she was holding was decorated with her own face. The cookie had blushing cheeks to properly show off how she tended to be around everyone. Looking over at Donnie’s cookie she could see his had pulled down thick eyebrows while still sporting a big smile. It made him look like some kind of evil scientist and honestly that tracked.

“May someone turn off the lights!” Donnie pointed into the air theatrically before biting into his cookie. Y/N just shily begun nibbling on her cookie. It was a good cookie! It was! She just felt a bit on edge seeing how everyone filed in to see what Donnie, Shelldon and, of course, she herself worked on.

Speaking of Shelldon, he was nowhere to be seen. Weird, Y/N was sure he would have loved to see the lights. Then again he has been up for a while maybe he took the time since the job was done to recharge?

“Turning the lights off!” Raphael exclaimed happily and did just that. Y/N instinctively stepped a bit closer to Donnie even though she knew there would be light in a few seconds anyway.

There was a soft click as suddenly the room was bathed in a soft festive light. Multicolored lights shone bright and illuminated the room. There were a few oohs and aahs as the family spun around to take a look how all the lights wrapped around the room and filled the room with its lights.

The tree, albeit without any decoration besides the lights yet, looked especially nice. It was then that Y/N realized that she was beginning to get into the whole festive mood as well. Her eyes wide open as she took everything in. She was excited. Excited to hang out with her second family.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about! Good job you guys!” April complimented their work.

Mikey was practically bouncing “Oh! I’m so excited! This looks already great if we add more decoration this will look fantastic!”

“And I already have plenty of ideas!” Leo added proudly.

“Yeah, you three did an awesome job.” Raph smiled as he took another moment to stare at the tree he worked so hard with April to bring into the sewers.

Donnie softly laid his hand on Y/N’s shoulder, which spooked her for a second, and addressed his family “Of course we did! After all Y/N and I here have fantastic eyes for aesthetics!”

Leo couldn’t help himself as he let out a snort “Y/N, maybe. You? Eh.”

This earned him a hard stare from Donnie and surprisingly Leo backed down, maybe he felt more charitable due to the season “Alright, alright. You do know what you are doing… sometimes. Good job, Don. You too, Y/N, of course.”

Y/N could only nod to that, happy that the family didn’t hate the work she put into all of this. Almost if Donnie could read her mind or sense her worries he squeezed her shoulder once more before letting go. Almost as if to say “See? All good.” But maybe she was reading too much into this simple interaction.

Suddenly Mikey began to giggle for no apparent reason but when Leo, Raph and April also sported mischievous grins suddenly Y/N thought that she must be missing something vital. Or they were laughing because of her, for some reason. Did she have something on her face?

Donnie turned around but saw nothing, looking confused at his family “Okay, why are you all looking like that?”

Mikey pointed up towards the ceiling “Someone already started with the decorations. Look, a mistletoe.”

Both Donnie and Y/N followed Mikey’s finger and looked up. What they saw was Shelldon who had a mistletoe strapped to his body.

Donnie let out a surprised squawk and jumped to the left, pulling Y/N along but Shelldon just followed along.

It was quiet but Y/N could hear how Leo sputtered out a silent “Wow, rude.” Towards his twin’s action.

No one dared to say anything. Y/N just kept staring at her hands as she kneaded them nervously. Her face felt like it was on fire, and she did not want to look at Donnie. Or rather she wished Donnie wouldn’t see her while her face was probably a good few shade darker.

A mistletoe. A tradition she hadn’t even thought about. Was this planned? Surely someone must have put it on Shelldon to begin with but why would anyone do that? Oh god they were all just looking at them. Can she run away? It’s not like the thought of kissing Donnie is gross or anything, in fact maybe her mind had wandered to this here and there, but this was a lot right now.

Did they somehow find out she had a crush on the purple genius? Was she too obvious? Hey wouldn’t it be funny if right now Hypnoptamus decided to pull something stupid and activate the brothers villain alarm thing? Honestly, if that would happen right now Y/N would personally thank him.

Finally, Y/N dared to look towards her best friend. He stood stock still. His eyes also downcast towards his hands. He was blushing? Y/N could tell he tried his best to scowl but hanging around him for so long she could tell it was more to save his bad boy persona than anything.

The way he mirrored the pose Y/N was just in she had to think that he must be going through something similar in his mind, like she just had. But that would mean that he might actually-

He suddenly turned to look at her. The way he looked so unsure. So self-conscious. It didn’t fit him.

It’s rare she saw him like this. Usually only when the two hung out late into the night and the two began talking about their personal issues.

“So, uh, a mistle-mistletoe. It’s a, uh, you kn-know what th-that means?” In that moment Y/N could have kicked herself. Of course, he would know! She wanted to lighten up the mood but then said this for some reason. Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

When Donnie didn’t react. Not even a flinch, a bat of his eyes, Y/N wanted to apologize. Maybe just give his cheek a peck and the family would have to be satisfied with this. The peck alone would be agonizing for Y/N but if it would mean the two could get out of this awkward standstill, she was ready to sacrifice herself like that. Donnie really looked like he was about to pass out.

Just as she made her mind up to do just that, to apologize Donnie finally moved. In a blink of an eye, he surged forward and pressed his lips against hers.

It felt like Y/N’s heart exploded in her chest. Donnie held onto Y/N’s arms tentatively more to probably ground himself rather than to hold her in place. She was sure that if she wanted, she could get out of his hold easily. But she didn’t.

The kiss probably only lasted a few seconds but it felt ten times more than that. She could feel the tremble in Donnie’s hands on her arms, his eyes pressed close and eyebrows pulled together while Y/N couldn’t help but stare.

When he let go and moved a step back, he turned to his dumbstruck family, apparently they didn’t think this would happen even if they might have set this up, and in a very shaky voice he turned to Shelldon “I will have a word with you later, mister.”

Y/N couldn’t help but move her fingers up to ghost over her own lips where Donnie just was moments before. Did that just happen? This wasn’t some weird dream, right? It happened all so fast.

Donnie returned his attention to his family “Happy now? Shoo you all. You have things to do, no?”

Thank Mikey for having the emotional intelligence of the family, he was the one who indeed shooed everyone away even while April and Leo had their mouths wide open and tried to fight against him. Raph simply picked the two up though and they left the room. Shelldon left as well, probably thought that if he stayed Donnie would start reprimanding him then and there.

Donnie turned to Y/N who was still standing around as if she was in a daze “Are you- Um, I just, my brothers were and uh, I just wanted them to- I’m sorry.”

But Y/N shook her head “It’s…” she tried to look for a more eloquent word that might calm him down but couldn’t land on anything better besides “fine.”

Donnie looked incredulously at her “It… is?” He was still blushing and in that moment the word cute popped inside Y/N’s head.

She nodded “I’m happy.” She said while letting out a deep breath of air. As if trying to release any tension she had in her body. She couldn’t help to chuckle out of pure euphoria, her crush just kissed her “I’m happy.” She exclaimed more confidently.

Donnie was just as nervous, but the tension seemed to slowly leave his body as well and he released a hearty chuckle “I am too.”

#rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #reader insert #donatello x reader #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello x reader #tmnt #tmnt reader insert #ramza writes #b1u3butt3rf1yanim3cart00ngirl22 #🍓-anon #🍓anon

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ninjaneonleon · 7 months

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The Side bar

Bringing Raph down to the Speakeasy had been the right call. Between the work of Leo, Cheech and Leonardo, Raph was back on his feet and talking in no time.

“And what have we learned?” Leo asked, making sure Raph’s pupil response was back to normal. It was, thankfully, and Leo was hopeful for his recovery.

“To not just eat everything offered to me without checking first,” Raph replied sulkily. Leo knew he had been excited for the cookies and he was upset that it had made him drop.

“Exactly.” Leo nodded and looked up at Cheech. “Can you keep an eye on him for a bit? Plenty of fluids, preferably tea, and make sure he stays here for at least ten minutes.”

“Sure thing, Leon. Worst comes to worst, I’ll make Leonardo sit on him.”

“Hey! I’m not that big!”

“Sure you are, Dove, but I love that about you.”

“Thanks guys.” Leo gave a cheery salute and wandered backwards. “The Caseys have gone to look for Mona, I think she was still with that adorable little turtle with the flowers and strawberries? Anyway, don’t let him leave until Mona comes to get him.”

‘Raph is more than capable of–”

“Sure thing, Leon. See you in a bit.” Cheech grinned and looked down at Raph. “You can stay here and enjoy some tea. I wanna hear all about your lovely girlfriend from you instead of him.” He nodded towards Leo. That was the right move because Raph lit up and started chattering away. Leo knew he left his big brother in good hands.

Leo turned and decided to go find Yuichi. Last he saw him, he had been chasing Donnie who had gotten hold of some Uranium. Leo knew that even with Juan present to keep them somewhat grounded, Leo would need to keep an eye on his two favourite dumbasses. Donnie and Yuichi were a surprisingly chaotic duo.

He was so lost in thought that he almost ran into someone.

“Hey, watch where you’re– oh, it’s you.” Leo looked up and saw Cleo, the grumpy, drunk Leo that Yuichi had managed to befriend earlier..

“Hey Cleo. How are you doing?” He looked less drunk now, but much grumpier. Maybe his Leo was causing him problems, apparently they didn’t get along.

“Worse. My Leo is trying to get himself adopted by another counterpart,” Cleo griped. “I swear, he’s so irritating.”

“Hey, cut him some slack, dude, he’s probably just still trying to process everything,” Leo said with what he hoped was a reassuring grin. “Just give him some space, maybe try for a smile, it’ll work wonders.” He clapped Cleo on his shoulder and stiffened the moment he made contact. What the–

Cleo recoiled, his eyes going wide and wait, did they just flash purple? “You’re–”

“It’s under control,” Leo cut him off sharply. “Yes, I am aware of the parasite sharing my body, no I am not concerned because he can’t take control from me.” He knew that somehow Cleo had sensed Prime, who was watching with wide eyed awe at the proceedings. “I’m not a threat to anyone here. Don’t mistake me for one.”

Cleo stared at Leo for a moment, his eyes searching Leo’s face with a mixture of revulsion, anger and self loathing. Then he turned with a huff. “Whatever. I need a drink.” He stalked off without another word.

Weird. Leo did not like that interaction and he was glad it was over. Now, he just had to figure out where his twin and boyfriend were…

Something drew Leo’s attention. He wasn’t sure what, but it reminded him somehow of the imprint. It was something soul deep, something instinctual. What was…?

There was a door to the side. Everyone seemed to be walking right past it, as if they didn’t see the swirls of mystic energy pouring off of it. What was it about that door that drew Leo’s attention so strongly? Why was he so compelled to enter it?

Slowly, he walked over to the door, weaving though the crowd as he followed this gut feeling and entered the room.

The room was dark, much darker and moodier than the cheerful, welcoming lighting of the Speakeasy outside. Scattered around were a number of tables, each housing a different person who Leo recognised. There were Draxums, some with minions and some without, Bishops, both male and female but all wearing the distinctive EPF logos, and even some Big Mamas. There was even a table full of villains that Leo knew well, like Meatsweats, Repo and Hypno (Who wasn’t really a villain anymore but he was previously).

“Welcome to the side bar,” There was a man behind a counter. Well, it was sort of shaped like a man, except it seemed to be made entirely of black goop. There was a square of whiteness around it, containing it to the bar area, but Leo got bad feelings from it. He didn’t want to be anywhere near that goop man. “If you’re here, you’ve probably been labelled as a villain in your universe, so make yourself at home. Just watch out for the Bishops, they’re not against grabbing newbies. And if you want to know anything, just ask. I can tell you anything you want, for a price.” Leo shuddered. He would not be asking anything.

Instead, he looked around in shock. The Villains bar? Why was he here?

Wait, he knew why he was here. He was part Kraang and even before that, he had been Blue Oni. He had attacked his brothers, almost killed his dads. Yeah, he was entitled to be here, and that was without Prime’s help.

“It seems to take in former villains too,” Prime pointed out helpfully as Leo spotted a Draxu, who looked to be in his lunch lady uniform. Okay then, that was something to celebrate then. He didn’t need to be actively evil to spot this place.

Before he could explore further, a dark shape suddenly loomed behind him. A wicked red glow lit up the world around him and for a split second, Leo froze. He knew that presence, he knew that glow.

Subprime was here.

Then Leo took a breath and he turned.

“Well if it isn’t the wad of chewing gum I just hate to see.” He drawled. “How have you been, buddy? Prison dimension treating you well?” Leo knew he was playing with fire here. All the others in the bar had frozen, staring at him in shock. Clearly no one had been brave enough to confront this Kraang up until now. Leo, however, was unfazed. He had confronted this monster more times than he could count in his dreamscape. He wasn’t scared anymore.

“I wasn’t aware they let… pests into this place,” The Kraang growled. “Still, you’ll be entertaining to play–”

Leo cut him off simply by waving his hand. “Before you finish that thought, I have a question for you.” The Kraang spluttered in annoyance. “Are you your universe’s Kraang Prime?”

“Yes.” The weaker Kraang Prime said slowly, as if contemplating Leo’s audacity and how best to destroy him.

“Oh, that’s good then.” Leo allowed his mycelia out from his shell, letting them wrap along his arms, legs and carapace. He instinctively knew that his brown eye had turned pink. When he next spoke, his voice echoed with power. “So am I. And guess what, buddy? I outrank you.” With a wave of his hand, Leo grabbed the Kraang matter in this pathetic version of Prime’s body and sent him flying into an unoccupied booth. Heh. That was way more satisfying in real life.

“Don’t get carried away, Leo,” Prime reminded him. “Remember that you brothers have organised it so you don’t indulge in that side of your mindset.”

Right. The shared dreamscapes that his brothers had set up. Leo hadn’t visited the prison dimension in months because of that. He needed to control himself better.

“Y’know, that was pretty impressive.” The voice behind Leo made him jump. That sounded like– “We’ve all had to hide in the corner because he wouldn’t stop looming. Thanks for dealing with him.” There was another Leo, slightly older than him and dressed in a very stylish coat. Woah, he was cool. There were a few other Leos there, as well as a few other turtles too. Huh. Maybe it wasn’t so weird for some of their counterparts to be ‘evil’ after all.

“No problem. He’s just a big bully. You kick his ass, he knows when to stay down.” Leo said with a shrug, allowing his mycelia to retract. “Uh, for reference, I am still Leo. Don’t be calling me Prime or anything, he’s just a ride along who’s powers I can borrow.”

“Good to know. Or else I’d have to kill you.” The fashionable Leo said with a grin. Leo had a feeling that he was being serious but he couldn’t be sure. He was hard to read. “Did you wanna come sit with us?”

“Nah, I’m good, but thanks for the invite. I’m just looking around before I head back out.” Leo didn’t really want to linger here. It was doing things to his head if he thought any of this was okay.

He glanced around again as the turtles left and headed to an empty booth. Well, all but one.

“You’ve met my brother.” The Donatello was familiar somehow but Leo couldn’t place why. Then he realised.

“You’re Cleo’s Donnie.” There was something about this Donnie that just reminded him of Cleo. The thing that threw Leo off, though, was the fact that this Donnie was so much older than Cleo. He was clearly in his thirties, maybe older, but Cleo was mid twenties. “Why are you here?”

“I wish I could tell you, kid. I just know that I can see this place and the others can’t.” Leo was gonna call this Donnie ‘Tello’ for now. Just so he didn’t get confused. “Also, watch your back. Those two drinking wine have their eye on you.” Leo looked over and saw two Bishops both sipping wine. They looked away when Leo met their gaze with a threatening look of his own.

“Thanks for the heads up.” He paused before glancing back up at Tello. “Uh, you might want to check on Cleo, by the way. He caught a sense of Prime and, uh, it freaked him out?” Hopefully Tello would be able to help.

“He doesn’t want to see me.” Was the only answer Leo got. Well there went that idea.

“Oh-kay then. Well, I need to get going. It was nice meeting you.” Leo didn’t like the vibes Tello was giving off. There was something broken and unhinged about this version of Donnie, more so than any of the other Donnies Leo had met. He could understand why Cleo was so grumpy if his Tello was like that.

Leo turned and started walking away, only to run straight into a solid chest. He looked up and flinched back when he saw a Draxum in his full armour from back when he was a bad guy, not the Rara that Leo knew and loved now. The helmet alone was enough to make Leo uncomfortable.

“Turtle,” the Draxum greeted with a nod. “That was an impressive display. I don’t know if you’d be willing to help train my current project?” He tugged on a chain and Leo saw a small form stumble forwards. They seemed to have their wrists chained together. His eyes widened when he realised that it was a mutated, turtle version of April.

It took everything Leo had to not draw his swords right then and cut this Draxum down, regardless of his own Rara. “I suggest you get out of my sight before I slice off the hand that is holding her hostage,” he growled. “I will only give you this warning once because part of the rules of being here means that we’re not allowed to cause grievous bodily harm. If you do not leave now, I will be violating that rule. Are we clear?”

To his credit, the Draxum looked disturbed. He ran off with the mutant turtle April following after him. Leo caught the thankful, apologetic look she shot him as she went. At least she still had her fighting spirit, from what Leo could tell. She’d escape soon enough, even if Leo wanted to help her out now. Unfortunately, that was against the rules.

He took a breath.

What was Leo doing again?

Was he… going to get a drink? With the other villains. Yeah, that seemed right.

“Uh, Cos?” Wait, that was Donnie’s voice in his head. The imprint! “We have a problem. I need you asap!”

Like a rubber band that was finally released, Leo felt his mind snap back into place. He wasn’t a villain, he was a hero like his brothers. He was a good guy who just happened to do some bad stuff unwillingly.

“Where are you and what do you need?” Leo asked, turning and marching out of the side bar.

“The uranium may or may not be affecting the plants I’ve got. I need to get it out of here and my portals aren’t strong enough to get out of the arena. Yuichi tried zapping it all away with his katana but it just made the plants start sending out sparks!” Eugh boy, this wasn’t going to be good. Leo needed to track them down and clean up Donnie’s mess, as usual. Not that he was complaining, he’d take this over having no twin any day. But why did his twin and his boyfriend have to be such a chaotic duo? Why couldn’t they just have one safe experiment where Leo didn’t need to save their butts?

“How does that even work? Never mind. I’ll be right over.”

He decided to keep the existence of the side bar to himself for now. It would only upset his brothers, and he’d do anything to keep them happy.

Mentions!

Leo and all the others he’a with belong to me and @geniusbuilttm

Cheech and Leonardo belong to @kinky-asexual

The adorable turtle with flowers and strawberries is @littlemissartemisia

Cleo and Tello belong to @reagi-df

The goop man belongs to @intotheelliwoods

The Kraang is just the regular kraang, you can decide where he’s from

The fashionable Leo belongs to @starrcrossrose

The two Bishops belong to @devotedtosadpoetry

The Draxum with the mutated April belongs to @riseleon

The villains need a place to hang away from all those heroes, right?

This is propaganda @tmntaucompetition

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #surp-rise!au #if I missed you and I referenced your au #dm me and I’ll add you!#propaganda

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ilovebeingaturtle · 1 year

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I'd love to know what you think the birth order is of the 87 turtles

Oh man I think my age order headcanons change for them by the minute AHA, I love all interpretations! The popular idea of quadruplets that change the order/take turns on it whenever they feel like it is so fun. I think in regards for canon? My stance is the turtles both don’t know and never even thought to know. We barely get them to acknowledge they’re siblings, let along establish an age hierarchy. I don’t think the topic has ever come up AHA that feels the most in character

But like-delving into fanon?

The back of their toys lists Leonardo as 16, Michelangelo as 15 1/2 and Donatello and Raphael as 15, so that’s a fun order if you want to go off established info! Even if the info from the toys can be taken with a grain of salt. Similarly, you could also go via height order? Raphael and Leonardo are 5’1, Michelangelo is 5’0 and Donatello is 4’10 (again according to the toys and Cowabunga Collection this time)

Oh also! I read once that apparently one of the books lists Leonardo and Donatello as 16 and the other two as 15, but I was never able to find a source on it plus that’s just even more of a reach in general. Leonardo and Donatello you can definitely read as the oldest two, however Donatello does give me like. Third oldest middle child energy a lot, he can a brat /pos plus chill second oldest Michelangelo is just something I’m biased to, in the least he’s not the youngest in my mind.

In fact I’ll always be a strong advocate for Raphael being the youngest, he’s just got such “baby of the family” energy AHA so I do love assigning him that at any opportunity

OH ALSO! If we go by the air dates of their birthday episodes, Michelangelo’s birthday is November 6 and Raphael’s is December 19. For whatever reason the turtle wiki lists Donatello’s birthday as November 8? Still can’t find out why, but that’s another semi canon order too! I haven’t found a date for Leonardo yet

I think my personal favourite interpretation for their ages though?

It’s gotta be Michelangelo as the oldest, Donatello as the second oldest, Raphael as the second youngest and Leonardo as the youngest. Something about it is just so amusing to me and secretly youngest Leonardo is adorable, so it’s probably the order I’m most fond of!

O also I said this on here one time? Which I also definitely still enjoy as an interpretation AHA

Oh, and! Last year I made this comic WIP about their ages, I never finished it and I was still new to the fandom but honestly I don’t think I’d change too much if I remade it today, so have it too!

So the uh. TLDR my answer on their age order is Yeeeees…..?

#classic Max overthink #depending on what I’m creating I’ll likely be using a completely different age headcanon for them AHA #I just go with what works in the moment #like if I’m leaning more canon based i try to dodge mention of age order completely #but if I’m just getting silly with it I’m open to a variety of orders AHA again it’s just what feels right for what context

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talonabraxas · 8 months

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The Yogic Yang Spiral Meditation

The aim of the yang spiral meditation is to bring into awareness of the participants the presence of Cosmic Consciousness and to be part of the worldwide efforts of raising the consciousness of the planet and of entering into a superior stage of evolution of humankind.

The Yin-Yang Concept

Everything that exists in the Universe is polarized, i.e., formed of yang-solar (+) and yin-lunar (-).

The presence of these complementarily opposed counterparts creates a tension. From this tension, Life is born. For maintaining the tension (therefore, life), one of the poles must predominate. This predominance leads to movement, change, transformation.

The two poles of the manifestation are contained in a tremendously big circle that keeps them together (in the above drawing, the exterior circle should be extremely big, but considerations of space makes this unpractical in this material). This symbolizes the existence of a Transcendental Principle that controls and dominates from a higher level. Only in this way Creation is possible. If the Transcendent Principle wouldn’t compel the two poles to stay together, they would return into Unity, Invisibility, Non-manifestation.

Each polarity contains, in seed, its opposite, which means that everything is relative. Everything, in some deep, mysterious way, is his opposite. Every moment of life includes, somehow, qualities diametrically opposed to those apparently implied. It is well known the truth of the original androgyny (having male and female characteristics in one) of the human being. By virtue of this, the balance between male (+) and female (-) hormones, condition sine-qua-non of life, is possible in all humans irrespective of sex.

Man is predominantly Solar; his seed (the semen) is Lunar (-). Woman is predominantly Lunar (-); her seed (the ova) is Solar (+). Thus, tai-ki is a perfect symbolic synthesis of Universe and Man, defining in a masterly manner the essence of Yoga Science. The representation of the two poles, the Solar (+) and the Lunar (-), as being equal is an idealistic point of view. A perfect balance leads to absence of tension, hence non-manifestation. In the manifested worlds, there always is and must be a predominant pole. The state of power appears when the two poles are very close to a perfect balance. A strong lack of balance between them results in weakness, suffering, illness, lack of self-control and lack of power.

Another important aspect is that yang is centripetal (it proceeds toward a center or axis) and moves in energy vortexes that turn counterclockwise, while yin is centrifugal (it proceeds away from a center or axis) and moves in energy vortexes that turn clockwise. Yang is the principle of order, structure, decrease of entropy. Yin is the principle of chaos, lack of structure, increase of entropy.

The spiral is charged with multiple symbolic meanings. Many of these meanings include the dynamic interaction between yin and yang.

The yang-spiral expresses the luminous, solar, dynamic and optimistic energy. When moving along the arm of this spiral in a counterclockwise sense, it is just natural to reach the center, which represents the Source of Creation from which everything that exists started and to which it will return.

The yang-spiral thus represents the circular centripetal movement of returning to the Center. The yang-spiral is related to the movement of spiritual evolution leading to liberation from the cycle of reincarnations, while the yin-spiral is related to the movement of involution and chaining to the reincarnation wheel, since it gets further away from the Center.

The spiral is often seen in nature: the snail shell is a well known example. The symbolism of the spiral is scientifically funded by the mathematical theory of the logarithmic spiral and of the Golden Number, or Fibonacci series. This Golden Number was discovered by the Italian mathematician Leonardo Fibonacci (c. 1170 – c. 1240), also called Leonardo of Pisa.

Fibonacci numbers have many interesting properties and are widely used in mathematics. Natural patterns, such as the spiral growth of leaves on some trees, often exhibit the Fibonacci series. A corollary of this is the well-known fractal structures and the discovery of fractal geometry. --Gregorian Bivolaru

'Celestial Lovers' Tao Teh King Talon Abraxas

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justicekitten · 2 months

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I had this really strange dream with Batman. Or where I was Batman/Bruce (?).

As per usual, people were trying to kill him. But in this universe, people found out Batman was Bruce Wayne, and all bets were off to get him done dead, ans many people tried to do it. Civilians, crime lords, even vigilants.

And among the vigilants were... Robins. A few of them.

On the beginning, it was Dick/Nightwing who saved Bruce from having his ass killed, as the news of who he was just got out, and he was getting out of Wayne Enterprises when some criminals started chasing them. I think Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles helped them escape. Idk why he was there but...

Going forth with the story.

Maybe Red Hood goons were chasing them as well, but I got the impression that either Jason was dead here, or he wasn't wanting to kill Bruce For Some Reason.

Bruce (me) and Dick make it to Oracle's stronghold. Bruce had a moment of tearful thankfulness, love and regret (for putting Dick into this life) that Dick was happy to be by his side as the world tried to off Bruce Wayne. He was even somehow having fun.

Anyway, me as Bruce decided to get there because Barbara was by our side, and we knew most enemies were not stupid enough to mess with her, and other robins liked her enough to not want to kill her even if she was harboring Bruce.

She welcomed us warmly.

One person did enter her fortress, though, and she only had time to put on her cowl when Cassie came in. She was pissed. I have no idea what Bruce did but whatever it was, I think Cassy was within her rights. She said something along the lines, "you know what to do to apologize, father" in a very Batman voice, and I'm not sure it didn't involve killing Bruce.

(She looked like she wanted to but ultimately wouldn't. Probably.)

She left after dropping something. Maybe something that would help Bruce, actually. I'm not sure where she stood on the matters of wanting to kill Bruce, but apparently a good part of her didn't want to. She was in good terms with Barbara though.

She left.

After that, there was a warning that Damian was trying to break into the defenses of Oracle's stronghold, and on this dream I knew he had not been in contact with Bruce yet, just that his mother had sent him to try and kill him. Bruce seemed happy though (or I felt that he/I was) as maybe there was a chance of meeting his son and becoming friendly.

No idea where Tim was. I am under the impression he was not a Robin yet. Maybe he was just stalking?

(Steph and Duke were also missing. Maybe they were also not Robins yet. Or they were trying to kill Bruce too. Lol)

As for who revealed Batman's identity, I think it was the Joker.

I woke up not long after Oracle said something about Superman. He was on his way, I think, and surprise! Not to kill Bruce. Something something Clark was in love with Bruce, but Bruce didn't know. Superbat Robin Apocalypse fic. The end.

#batman #batman fic #apocalypse scenario #superbat #nightwing #dick and babs were the real MVPs here #it was revealed to me in a dream #dream fic

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skylarmoon71 · 3 months

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Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Superman Crossover) - Chapter 2

Everyday that he looked at you with that vulnerability and he couldn’t help but feel the weight of it. The faster the days went by the harder it was becoming to justify his actions. It was starting to affect his work.

“LEO LOOK OUT!!”

He didn’t have a chance to respond to the call, the bullet pierced his shoulder and he just barely had a chance to jump out of the way when he saw the busted pipe above his head. The metal bar dropped from the ceiling and he saw dread fill the eyes of his brothers as the concrete seemed to collapse right before him.

“LEO!!”

He couldn’t get to them, couldn’t even get to his feet. In his mind he could only think that this was justice, karma.

He deserved it.

The frantic words caught your attention.

It wasn’t unusual for Leo or his brothers to come to check in on you. This time however they were all here. They were in the living room, divided by the door but you could still hear parts of the conversation. They were being too loud not too.

“They took him, we need to do something!”

It was Raph, he sounded panicked, scared even.

“We can’t just storm in there without a plan. Leo would agree with me. We need a solid plan of action or we’ll lose more than just your brother. The FBI has made some leeway, we have a potential lead but I need to wait for-”

“We can’t wait!! They could be killing him right now!”

“Calm down Raph.” Donnie reasoned.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!!”

You couldn’t make out all of the conversation, but from the little that you did, something had happened to Leo.

“He got what he deserved.”

That’s what you try to convince yourself of. But the thought of him hurt, it scares you. You should hate him after what he did to you, but you can fully understand why he did it. Why he must have thought it was the only way to ensure you didn’t exact your revenge.

“Call your boss.”

The guard next to the cell looked over at you.

“Call her now.”

His jaw was clenched, but he obeyed, moving to the door. He knocked and it opened.

Words were exchanged. You could practically hear the hesitance, but finally she stepped in along with all three brothers and two other faces that you didn’t fully recognize.

“What do you want?”

“You have some nerve sounding irritated when you have me caged.”

“You’re dangerous.” Vincent defended.

“And they aren’t?”

You gestured to the boys and you saw the way they shifted.

“I’m not going to pretend that what I did was right, I knew what I was doing and I don’t regret it. You can hide behind your shield with your whole self righteous act, but if those men did to you what they did to me, you would have hunted every last one down and killed them.”

“Did you call me here for a lecture?”

She was impatient.

“I can help you. The fact that Leo isn’t here must mean that they have him. They’ve probably already turned him into a pair of boots.”

Raph eyes filled with rage as he stepped forward.

“SHUT UP!!”

He punched the bar and Vincent panicked.

“Wait Raph don’t-”

He gave it another harsh blow and the lights above your head shorted, when you looked down, the cuffs on your wrists blinked, the gems apparently powering down. They opened almost instantly and you saw the fear in Vincent’s eyes as the thin pieces of metal dropped at your feet.

“GET BACK EVERYONE!!” She ordered.

They did indeed back up as you grabbed the bars and pulled them apart. You weren’t going to make the same mistake. The second you were free all the men with those altered dart guns were knocked off their feet. Vincent glared when you now stood in front of her holding the gun she had probably planned to subdue you with. Raph, Donnie and Mikey moved in front of Vincent and the other two protectively as you dropped the now broken weapon. It took them a moment to realize that you were holding a sheet of paper. Vincent recognized the police stamp.

“I’m going to find Drew and finish what I started.”

You dropped the paper and they flinched at the whiplash of wind that hit their face.

You were gone.

“It’s waking up!”

Leo’s eyes fought to adjust to the light that's shining in the room. His body ached, no doubt from all the rubble that had fallen on him, and the bullet wound.

“I can’t believe we caught this thing.”

The man standing in front of Leo poked his body with a stick. He didn’t react, not at first. When his eyes finally adjusted, he glared at the face of the man they had been tracking for months. The one you wanted dead.

“Drew.”

The male’s eyes widened.

“Shit, it can talk too and it knows my name.”

For a moment he seemed surprised, then he just grinned.

“When Shredder talked about this I thought the guy was crazy, but I guess that green crap really was special. It’s a shame he got busted, we could use some of that right about now.” Drew dropped the stick, the room filled with men around him.

“You little menaces have been messing up my business. Someone burned down one of my main branches. I lost a lot of products.” Drew took a seat on his chair, waving around his gun.

“The only reason you’re still breathing is because I could probably get a good price for you. Help me restock, you got it.”

Leo said nothing more. He hoped that by some miracle Vincent had managed to find the location. Even if they didn’t make it in time to save him, just the idea of putting this man behind bars was enough for him.

“So tell me, who else knows because I’m sure you’re not working alone. If you tell me I might take it easy, make your torture a little less painful.”

Leo was quiet, and Drew just smiled, right before he fired a shot. It struck him right in the leg and he grunted at the pain that surged through. With clenched teeth he refused to let out a sound. Give him satisfaction.

“Tough guy huh, I’ll give you one more chance. Who else knows?”

“I do.”

Drew jumped out of his seat at the voice. When he saw the masked figure he started firing aggressively. So did every other person in the room. None of the bullets landed, and he stared in horror as one by one his men seemed to get thrown across the room. Each body tumbled to the ground. With trembling hands he took many steps back when the bullets had run out.

His entire crew was on the ground, and he could do nothing but stare, because all he made out was the eyes of his assailant.

He dropped the empty gun.

“Alright, just tell me what you want? M-Money! Guns, drungs, anything you want just name it and it’s yours.”

“Can you bring back Jonathan and Martha Kent.”

The names elected a new fear in his eyes. You knew he recognized them.

“That’s right, I tracked you all the way from Kansas. You were trying to buy that farm, but Jonathan refused.”

Drew fell onto the ground pleading.

“Y-You have to believe me, I didn’t plan to kill them. I just wanted to scare them into leaving then that idiot tried to be a hero. T-They saw my face, I had too.”

“THAT’S YOUR DEFENSE!!”

He screamed when the beams shot from your eyes, scorching the area right at his feet. Jumping upright he tried to make a run for it, but you blocked his way, grabbing him by the throat. When his feet left the ground, you saw the fear in his eyes. He was fighting for a breath, feet dangling in the air as you held him there.

It would have been so easy to just crush him, break his windpipe. Watch life just slowly leave his body, the same way your parents had probably suffered.

You should have done it. You could have, but when your eyes lifted, all you could see was Leo. You could see the sympathy as well as understanding. There was no judgment in his eyes and it shook you. He should have been scared, maybe even disappointed but he looked like he had accepted it. That no matter what he would say at that moment, you were going to kill Drew.

With a shallow breath, you dropped him. He fell to the ground coughing aggressively.

“Thank you..t-thank you, tha-”

You kicked him in the jaw and he rolled over, unconscious. Just because you couldn’t kill him it didn’t mean you couldn't get even. Without a second thought you moved to Leo’s side, ripping the restraints right out of the wall. His body dropped the second he was free and you caught him, supporting his weight easily. You started walking, headed for the entrance so you could get him back to his brothers.

His family.

Leo wasn’t sure what he could say. He was weak both physically and mentally. Everyday watching you in that prison, it felt like his punishment for deceiving you. Despite that, you were now rescuing him. Not only that but you’d left Drew. His entire plan to subdue you was based on the idea that you would kill the man responsible for causing you pain, but you hadn’t done it. You hadn’t taken your revenge.

In a way, he felt worse.

He had been wrong about everything.

“I’m sorry Leo.”

Leo couldn’t believe it.

An apology.

You were apologizing to him.

At that moment, all he could do was cry. He lowered his head and you stopped, staring at the tears that rushed down his cheeks. He’d betrayed you for nothing, put you through hell for nothing. Caused you more pain for nothing.

All he could do was pray that by some miracle, someday you would be able to forgive him.

#tmnt leonardo #trust #care #teenage mutant ninja turtles #betrayal #leoxreader #kryptonian #powers #past #hurt #forgiveness #understanding

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