#it was my second watch actually and ooof

[witchwhaat]

just saw eeaao in cinema

[pedroshotwifey]

So, yeah, ummm.. hello. I'm not sure how to explain what I'd like to request cause I'm a bit shy and whatever, but I kinda have this need... Bought a skirt the other week, retro, midi, lots of volume, high-waist, a dream! Got so many compliments and I was always a DUFF and I felt confident for like 3 seconds...And then I thought, imagine Javi seeing you in that skirt for the first time, like at a work party or whatever and fucks you while you're wearing that skirt while everyone else is in another room. Like, IMAGINE, how that skirt would bunch up around the waist, and ooof

Long request made short: Why yes, a shy, innocent person here who was never hit on by men that wants to have chair sex with Javi in some janitors closet or whatever.

Is this too much? Feel like it's too much but anyway...18 from prompt list 4.

Bye.

Hey, babe, so sorry this took a while! I actually started working on it a couple of months ago and just got stuck 😅 Anyways, I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted! (Our girl ended up getting fucked over Javi's desk, but hopefully the smut will make up for that oversight on my behalf. If not, I'll gladly write something else for you ♥)

Pairing: Javier Peña x coworker!fem!reader

Tags/warnings: smut, unprotected PIV sex, mentions of fingering, Javi's huge dick™, semi-public sex, anon's skirt™, self-deprecating thoughts, but javi fixes that right up, dirty talk, getting caught (kind of), pet names (baby, hermosa, etc.), stuff I'm probably forgetting

W/C: 2.7k

Summary: You start thinking down on yourself---luckily, Javi's there to lift you back up. Nothing some praise and a good fuck in his office can't fix.

Mini Skirt

You glance at the clock on the wall from where you’ve been perched on your desk, watching the office mingle. You’ve only been at this party for an hour and you’re already getting the urge to leave. You’d thought it was such a good idea at first, but now you just think you’re an idiot. It was all because of that damn skirt. You sigh and glance down at it. Yeah, that’s why. 

It’s fucking gorgeous, you’re not even going to lie. Retro, short as hell, high waisted, fluffed with luscious volume, and the perfect fit. You’d only worn it once before this, but that was before you’d moved and gotten a job with the Colombian DEA. It had given you a boost of confidence unlike any you’d had before, and had gotten you an absurd amount of compliments. Hell, you’d been confident coming in here with it on.

Now you’re thinking that may have had something to do with the fact that you’d known those people for much longer. Or maybe you’re completely delusional, and the skirt really just isn’t that cute. Not on you, at least. Not a single person has approached you yet. It’s a little humiliating if you’re being honest. You’d waved to Steve when you came in with the intention to talk—and probably ask about where you could find his gorgeous partner you’ve been harboring a crush on since you got here—but he pretty much blew you off. 

It had stung a little bit, but you’d shaken it off and kept going in hopes that someone else would pull you into their conversation. How wrong you were to think that. Everyone has ignored you so far. You’re not sure what you did wrong. Maybe people just don’t like you. That realization hurt like a bitch. You thought these people were your friends by the way they’ve acted toward you during weekdays

You only realize your eyes are tearing up when you look up at the clock again and find it blurry. That’s it. You’re out of here. You’ve learned your lesson. You hop off the desk and start making your way to the door, your face heating as self-deprecating thoughts race through your head a million miles a minute. You don’t look at Javi’s office as you pass it just in case he’s in there. Out of everyone here, you don’t want him to see you like this. You’re not dumb, you know the relationship the two of you have is bordering on flirtatious, but this is far too vulnerable of a state for you to be in to be around him right now. 

Yet you still stop when you hear his voice calling your name as you’re pushing the door open. It’s a bodily reaction for you to halt and start to turn. Of course he would spot you the one time you’re wishing he wouldn’t. You turn all the way, watching him as you try to hold your tears in. Hopefully you can play this off right and be on your way. 

“Yes?” you ask. You hear the waver in it, and you can tell Javi does too by the wince he tries to hide. 

“Where are you going?”

You’re almost taken aback. Why does he care? 

��Home,” you say, about to turn and reach for the door again.

“But you’ve only been here for a little while.” You watch as his eyes drop down your body, slowly taking you in. He licks his lips when they land on your skirt, and it makes you squirm.

“You look good,” he tells you, his gaze back on yours. His voice is raspier than it was a minute ago. It makes you weak in the knees, if you’re being honest. 

“Thank you.” It’s a quiet sound. Your cheeks feel hot. 

“Why are you leaving, carino? Is everything okay?” 

You have to focus hard on holding back tears, as well as embarrassment now. Do you really want to tell him what’s bothering you?

“Everybody’s been ignoring me since I got here,” you blurt before you can stop it. Javi takes a step forward, sympathy flashing in his warm brown eyes for a moment before giving you one more once-over. 

“In that outfit?” he asks. “On top of being the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of, that’s a damn shame.” 

You look down towards the floor, though a smile starts to tug at your lips. 

“Why don’t you come back in for a while.” His gaze darkens. “My office, maybe?”

Your mouth feels like cotton as you gravitate toward him. Your hand falls into his and you allow him to lead you back into his office as his mouth comes down by your ear. “What are you gonna do, Javi?” you ask, lust clear in your question. 

“Someone needs to ravish you in that fucking skirt before you leave,” he whispers, making you shiver. “And I know nobody else has the balls to bend you over their desk like I’m about to do.”

Your head snaps to look at his smirk. Your eyes are wide, your lips parted with both shock and desire. He chuckles slightly and glances around before stepping into the office with you at his side. You’re dreaming—you’ve got to be dreaming. But the way his hand slips around your waist feels too real.

“And after that, I’m gonna go out there and try to understand what the hell could have been blinding all those people to not want to talk to you.” 

You’re stunned, yet you keep your eyes on him as he shuts and locks the door behind him. Everything is happening so quickly, but you’d be damned if you tried to delay or stop it. 

You’re the one to meet his lips as soon as he turns your way, backing him towards the door as he hungrily reciprocates. His big hands travel down to your skirt, smoothing down the fabric to cradle the flesh of your ass. He’s dangerously close to the heat brewing between your thighs, to the wetness you know is beginning to seep through the seat of your panties. 

But all you can focus on is how intoxicating his tongue mingling with yours is, the plushness of his lips against yours. He tastes faintly like whiskey and cigarettes, just as you would have guessed, but somehow better. 

You moan against him as he squeezes your ass, bringing you flush to him so you can feel his erection against your abdomen. You groan against his lips upon feeling it, your mouth dropping open for a second in surprise. 

“Oh, god, Javi,” you moan. “Please, I need you,” you beg, one of your hands trailing down to gently brush over his covered cock. 

“Shit, baby, alright, I’ve got you.” He starts walking you back, keeping his lips on you until the backs of your thighs hit his desk. As soon as he feels the resistance, he pulls away just enough for you to start to protest, but you quickly stop when he grabs your hips and spins you around to face the desk. His open palm pushes firmly but gently on your back until your chest is flush to the top of it. 

Just the action in itself makes you moan, so when he flips your skirt up and pulls your panties down to your ankles within the next second, your skirt bunching around your hips, you nearly lose it. “I know, hermosa, I know.” His hand makes it way down to your cunt. 

You swear he growls as he strokes you gently, just barely teasing you. “Dios mío,” he mutters. “Fuckin’ soaked for me, gorgeous.” 

“Thought about this a lot,” you breathe. “Thought about your fingers, your cock.” 

Javi groans behind you. 

“Gonne be the fuckin’ death of me, sweet girl.”

“Please, Javi,” you beg again, not sure for what at this point. Something. Anything. 

This time, he puts more pressure on your folds, parting you and letting your wetness smear obscenely on his fingers. You moan as he starts to rub up and down again, teasing your clit with every stroke. 

“Yeah, you want to take my fat cock, hermosa?”

“Yes, Javi, please!” You sound borderline whiny as you push yourself back into him, trying to entice him into giving you a few fingers. 

“Okay, baby, come for me first. Need you ready.” 

You nod, and his fingers move to pay attention directly to your clit, starting to rub tight and fast circles. You can already feel the tension within you rising, getting you close to the edge faster than you previously thought was possible. So when he takes a step forward, pushing his clothed crotch into your ass, and his fingers get harder and faster against you, you fall apart. 

Heat races through you as you arch your back, moaning his name too loud, which prompts him to cover your mouth with his free palm. You settle against it, aftershocks making you shiver as he helps you through your orgasm. 

He removes his hands from you, and you barely have time to settle down before you hear the clinking of his belt being undone, and then the broad tip of his cock nestled at your entrance. 

“You ready, angel?” 

Out of breath, you frantically nod your head, your cheek pressed to the desk as you watch him. 

He chuckles lightly at your enthusiasm. “Words, sweetheart.” 

“Yes, Javi, please fuck me with your big cock,” you plead. 

You Think you hear him mutter something along the lines of “good girl”, as he pushes himself into you, your walls splitting around him. Your mouth drops open, your hands sliding across the desk as you try to grip on to something. Javi holds your hips firmly as he slowly feeds you every inch. 

“God dammit, baby, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Javi grits through his teeth. 

He waits until he’s fully seated, and then rubs a hand gently up and down your back, soothing you as you adjust to him. He’s so big—long and thick. You think you can feel him in your lungs. But you only wait a few moments before pushing back to him, his cock nudging your g-spot as you signal for him to move. 

Your toes curl when he pulls out the first time, leaving just the tip before smoothly sliding back in. There’s a lewd squelching sound when his pelvis meets your ass, and it only spurs you on. You clench around him, more turned on than you’ve ever been in your life. 

The friction as he builds up a steady pace is absolutely heavenly, his dick dragging deliciously against your soaked walls with each thrust. He’s stretching you out so nice, making room so he can fuck you good and fast. It’s by impulse that you reach one of your hands down between your legs, not to play with your clit, but you spread your fingers and feel the way he’s shoving himself in. 

The soft, wet skin of his cock skims the skin between your fingers, making both of you moan. 

“You like that, huh, honey? Like the way I stretch you out so good?” 

“Yes, Javi,” you keen. “S’ good.” At this point, you’re slurring your speech, growing delirious with every press of his tip to your cervix. It’s a gentle punch, giving you the perfect amount of stimulation to have your second orgasm building. It’s an overwhelmingly addictive feeling, the heat bubbling within you, the way your muscles tense up and make you shake. 

Your mind can only focus on the steady build up, the way his pace gets faster and more frantic with every second, the way his grip tightens on your hips and he lets little grunts slip from his lips. You almost wish you could be turned around so you could kiss him again, hungry and desperate to convey everything you’re feeling right now. 

But even if you did have that option, you probably wouldn’t be able to hold yourself up with the way he’s making your legs feel like jello—absolutely useless at this point. Your head is starting to get dizzy again. You swear you grow wetter as you get closer to coming. 

It happens so suddenly, the words don’t make it to your tongue before you’re gushing around Javi, a silent scream falling from you. It’s intense and long. You only realize your ears have been ringing once they stop and Javi’s praise hits them instead.

“Oh, fuck! Just like that, baby.” 

“Shit, I’m gonna come, where do you want me?” His words are as sloppy and rushed as his thrusts.

“In-Inside,” you blurt, using what little strength you have you reach the hand that had been on your cunt earlier to hold on to his hand still on your hip. 

“Oh fuck,” he grunts before thrusting a few more times and then stilling within you, burrying himself deep and holding you flush to him. He bends down over you, groaning into your ear as his cum paints your walls. 

When he’s finished, he slowly stands back up, pulling himself out of you. His seed drips out, falling down your thighs and pussy. You’re a bit jealous that Javi can see it and you can’t.  He stands there, just admiring for an extra second, before helping you up as well. You watch as he opens a drawer on his desk and pulls out a spare tie. He gives you no time to protest before he starts to wipe your spent cunt with it. 

You study him as he crouches down and cleans you the best he can, admiring his eyes, nose, lips, his sweaty brow and the way his soft curls cling to it. When he’s done, he stands back up, pulling your panties into place. He kisses you again, slower this time, savoring the moment.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. You both look at each other with panicked expressions, which only worsen as a set of keys begin to jingle as whoever it is unlocks the door. Javi barely has time to fix his pants and shove you half-way behind him before Steve’s stepping in like he owns the place. His eyes widen when he looks up, immediately clocking what just went down in here. 

“Shit, sorry, Javi, I thought you’d gone home—” 

His eyes catch on you, apparently just realizing who is in here with him. You swear he almost smiles as visible relief floods his features. 

“Fucking finally. You’ve been killing us.”

Speechless, you just gape at him. What is even going on right now? Javi says nothing either, probably more embarrassed than shocked, though, judging by the red hue crawling up his face when you take a glance at him. Apparently the two of you weren’t as discrete as you had thought.

“Whole office steered clear of the both of you in hopes this would happen and put us out of our misery tonight.”

Steve stays in the doorway, waiting for one of you to say something else. When you don’t, he raises his brows and retreats, calling out as he closes the door, “Also, I’m out twenty bucks now, so feel free to leave that on my desk at some point, Jav.” 

The door shuts and the two of you slowly turn to look at each other. “Did you know they would do that?” You immediately ask. 

Javi shrugs. “They’ve done it before, but I guess I didn’t think about it happening to us.”

“I thought people just didn’t like me, you asshole,” you throw out in a teasing tone. Javi raises his hands in defense. 

“Hey, carino, I didn’t tell anybody to ignore you. That was all them.” 

You shake your head. “Scared to get near me,” you mumble, chuckling slightly. “Bunch’a bullshit.” 

Though you have to admit, it does feel a lot better knowing that the entire office doesn’t hate you. Obviously it’s not their first time playing collective matchmaker. A little harsh, but clearly effective. 

Javi winks at you, as if reading your thoughts. “Alright, baby, let’s get you cleaned up and out in the office to mingle. I think you’re owed more than a few apologies by now.”

You snort and take a step back from him. “After what just happened,” you say, “I think I’m gonna call it even.”

**********

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[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[lightlycareless]

Could you please spare some child au or high school au hc? Please I’m so hungry 😔 /hj

Hello dear anon!!

Well, I've decided to write a lil thing for the child au :> It's the au that I have most neglected, mainly because I don't get any inspiration for it 😭 (idk, just... nothing comes to me, you know?)

BUT I did manage to get this, mainly from my experiences... or maybe that was just me. Either way, I remember taking pictures of just about anything and posting them to my myspace (OOOF) soooo........ enjoy :>

warnings: none, fluff. plus a little something I wanted to explore at the end.

Happy reading!

“—A camera!” Naoya grins as he proudly shows off his newest acquisition, a gift from one of his grandparents; the latest digital model found in the market!

And perhaps something the adults might’ve wanted to wait a bit longer before getting, or at least put up some resistance against Naoya’s never-ending fits when it comes to impressing you…

“What do you think? Nice, right?”

You stare at it for a few seconds, before giving him a big, bright grin and a nod.

“Yes!”

Naoya’s heart flutters—his purpose accomplished.

“I knew you’d be able to recognize excele—exclen—excellency!” he boasts, whether he knew the meaning of that word meant or not, is a mystery for both.

“What are you going to do with it?” you curiously ask. You’ve never had a camera, even though you’ve long expressed your interest for it, (your parents were a bit more… sensible when it came to spoiling you.) Nonetheless, what Naoya’s got was also yours, much to their chagrin.

“Take pictures, of course!”

“But of what?” you pout, frowning.

There’s actually so many things he wishes to do with his new camera, things that he’s partially done already, from taking pictures of the new figures he’s got from his favorite anime to the drawings he’s been slowly working on to impress you…

However, he had a reputation to maintain, and such, he gives you the response he thinks will make him look the coolest, straight from Naoaki’s —his oldest brother— book.

“I don’t know, just, whatever I guess.” He shrugs, copying every mannerism, down to the tone, to impress you.

But to you, he only appeared absent-minded, as if he was foolishly failing to realize the great opportunities having a camera presented!

And thankfully, you’d come to his aid. Unknowingly creating a win-win situation for the two.

“Oh, I know! We can take pictures of us doing cool poses!” you grin. “Like the ones in my brother’s posters!! Or that anime you were watching the other day!!”

“That girl group?” Naoya twists his lips, not very… fond of your idea at first, until the frown on your face rectifies his response. “I mean—If that’s what you want…”

Of course, what he said wasn’t what he felt, for the moment you grabbed his hand with your soft one, tightly holding onto him as you led him towards your room, he was nothing but willing to do what you desired.

He’d silently observe you take out a few of the magazines you managed to sneak out of your brother’s room (Ren’s very aware of it, he just lets you keep them, happy to share his enjoyment for the Spice Girls.) and get ideas of what poses to replicate—down to the smallest details.

Naoya’s commitment had some limits, though.

“I don’t know if I want to do that one…” Naoya murmurs, slightly embarrassed, fearing what he’ll look like before you if he accepts…

“Why not? I even got the clothes!” you encouraged. Kind of. They’re your best attempt at something like that. It’s the thought that counts, though.

But in the end, you let Naoya not take part in the activity, solely because he got an even better job to do—that is, being your own personal photographer.

A camera is something that you’ve always been allured to, especially the instant ones where you can get the picture immediately after, so to hear that your best friend is getting one, and that he’s more than happy to share this adventure with you, is like a dream come true!

So, the two begin to take all kinds of pictures, with just about any pose you could think of, and landscapes to choose from; getting more and more ideas the longer this photoshoot went on.

Eventually, Naoya would also feel comfortable enough to take pictures with you; although truth to be told, he was hoping to get one either way, realizing that by doing this… he’ll have a piece of you to take come.

The thought of keeping your adorableness through pictures is enough to fill his heart with this growing sentiment he has yet to discover as love—or perhaps completely understand, achieving so until much older…

When he isn’t fretting about your increasingly worrisome choices, that is.

“Take a picture when I’m jumping down the edge!!” you’d say. “I’m going to do this cool pose like in Naruto, so be ready!!”

“Y/N, wait!” He cries, camera unprepared, while fearing for your wellbeing. “What if you get hurt?!”

“I’m a ninja! I can’t get hurt!”

The number of scares you’d put him through that day are ones that he’ll never forget, the mere thought of them enough to send shivers through his spine…

But even then, he didn’t complain much. Because he was nothing but happy see you smile and laugh, proof that his decision was the right one, yet again, just to show how well he’s gone to know you—already planning what to get when you eventually grow tired of the camera…

If he doesn’t destroy it first when his brothers eventually discover his embarrassing photos.

“Naoya, come here please!” You’d call from another room, a request that was immediately granted just a few seconds after when he crosses through the doors.

“What is it, my love?” Naoya asks, throughout the years, his determination to please you has never dwindled.

“Look what I found!”

“Oh, its—”

The same camera he got all those years ago, the first one he’s got. A relic of his childhood, in other words.

“The camera, that one! Remember?” you say. Rummaging through the moving boxes has been quite nostalgic as of lately, but you never expected to see something so… ancient, no offense meant. “Wow, can’t believe it’s here…”

“Me neither…” Naoya says, somewhat… nervous.

“Think it still has pictures from back then?”

Naoya immediately turns red.

“No!” he shrieks, making you raise an eyebrow. Did you forget, perhaps? “I mean—It’s old, who knows if the battery or memory are any good.”

“Let’s find out then!” you grin, quickly standing up to look for a compatible charger.

Naoya tries to stop you, kind of; he doesn’t really put that much of a fight whenever he sees you this enthusiastic, although he wishes he could’ve for once, considering how anxious he felt for the impending moment the camera turned on and revealed all those embarrassing pictures he innocently took back then.

To when you giggle graces his ears, amused by his antics…

But when the camera beeps on, he’s received with… well, nothing. Just silence as you diligently flick through the photos, each one received by your intense gaze that makes him wonder if perhaps the camera didn’t work anymore…

Until noticing the fluster in your cheeks, then did Naoya dare to ask what’s wrong.

“Y/N, is… everything ok?”

“Naoya… did you really… keep all these pictures?” you ask, slowly turning around to see him, revealing your burning face.

“I… did.” He silently admits, unsure where this is going, but convinced it wasn’t good. “I… well, you liked them, so I thought I’d keep them, in case you wanted to see them again, of course. I didn’t know you wanted me to… delete them.”

It’s funny to see that even when married, Naoya is just as anxious when it comes to openly expressing his feelings—he’s gotten better at it, of course, the two were now living in the same house together, hoping for a baby…

But maybe it’s the inner child in him, the one that never got to express his feelings back then, didn’t know how. Even though he wanted so, so much.

Which is coincidentally, the same reason that made your breath hitch to your throat, heart skipping a beat when realizing that Naoya, all this time, has…

“—You’ve always cared for me, haven’t you?”

Naoya blinks, caught off guard by the direction this conversation was heading; but even then, he nods, admitting what you confessed.

You knew that already; you wouldn’t have married him if that wasn’t the case.

It’s just that… to be reminded that Naoya always had your wellbeing in mind, probably since the moment he met you… melted your heart.

Truly, you had found your soulmate.

“Enough to even… take these silly pictures of me!” You add, it’s your turn to be embarrassed by all the goofy pictures you made him take; you knew you were nothing but a child back then, actions like these more than expected, but now that you were an adult… you can’t help but wince, covering your cheeks with your hands as you continue to fret. “Oh my god, Naoya—how did you even put up with me back then??! Seriously, look at this one!! It’s all coming to me now—I think I got hurt, didn’t I? Or at least that’s how it felt…”

“I guess I just liked you too much.” He says, a smile on his face.

“I guess you did.” You giggle. “Guess you must’ve had it real bad if you were willing to make silly faces with me! Though you looked far cuter than me, but then again, you were always good-looking.”

“What are you on, love? I don’t think either of us looked good.” he snickers, leaning down and looking at the camera. “Definitely not you on that photo.”

“Hey!” you gasp. “No need to go that low!”

“Or what?” he smirks. “Gonna make me take more pictures of you?”

You gasp. “I’ll take this as blackmail, then!” and then, you stand up, sprinting past the door and away from him, hoping to get a copy of these pictures onto the computer and let your evil scheming commence.

“Huh?! No you’re not!” Naoya says, running right behind you, eventually catching up to you and taking the camera away from your hands.

But you meant no harm, of course, not when the presence of them filled the two with nostalgia, fondly looking back to the moment the two were nothing but kids, yet, unknowingly fated to be with one another.

It’s always meant to be that way; to be happy together, whether in the past, the present, or the future.

One the two have yet to create, now as a family.

Which neither could wait for it to happen.

Naoya and YN growing to be together is the ultimate endgame. I will not discuss otherwise :) also, Naoya might be holding onto those pictures in hopes of showing them off to their future daughter, just to get back at her (Naomi is not thrilled, at all. It's probably the first time she thinks of her parents as weird)

Oh, I hope you enjoyed this little thing 🥺❤️ thank you so much for sending in this ask, the child au is 😭 the fluff I need amongst these times of angst haha.

Anyways, I will try my best to write the Naoya b-day one shot :> In between requests and updates.... you know... eheh.

Thank you so much for your patience, take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️

[dawnanddorisqna]

Hey dawn or doris Have you heard of cool world?, or Ralph bakshi

Ooof

Okay...I've been asked about this movie before. A movie Doris said I wasn't allowed to watch. I thought WHY THE HELL NOT! I've seen the most brutal stuff in anime. What could be so bad that this was a no? All she told me was she's seen it once. She had known some toons that appear and felt like she had to, but thought it's best to just leave that in the past.

So obviously, I had to see this. (Don't watch it? How are you going to stop me? streaming exists!)

Late at night, I found it on PlutoTV. I could've watched it when she was out or just in my room, but after all the don't watch talk I wanted to see this in the living room and still treat this like a weird secret. close the blinds, you can't stop me! but no one must know!

At first, It looked like a completely different film from what I expected. Like post war stuff, soldier coming home. Then Brad Pitt's mom is thrown off a motorcycle and shit got....well it GOT!

First off, they call toons doodles. That's cute. I'm forever connected to this. Second, GOOD GOD THIS MOVIE IS HORNY! Like I've seen movies with sex in it. I watched Poor Things. It's whatever. But this! I was alone in the room and felt so uncomfortable! This thing just dry humps your eyes until the end. And Cool world is like going to the seediest alleys in South LA at 1 am, but on like AAAAAALLLLL the drugs.

I'd get into the story, but they were just making up this shit as it went on. "Don't you know that when a noid is kiled by a doodle in the real world they become a noid in cool world!?" What is that?!?! I guess fuck me for asking questions!

BUT! You want to know the weirdest part! Your girl was watching this movie. Your girl who loves horror, animated and live action. I got through this and for whatever reason...I felt scared of this film and disturbed. the whole thing made me feel so uneasy with the look of Cool World. Not the buildings with eyes and teeth, that was scary but like fun scary. I'm talking about when they had rooms with flat board standups, and toons and things floating around, vanishing for no reason. That look actually had me shrinking back into the couch. It was uncanny. Toon Uncanny!

And then the ink pen, the ending with thing flipping from human to toon, a whole wacky world ending thing. I was disturbed, almost sad. WHY WAS I SAD!!??!!? not for any character but like for existence I guess?

This movie was a weird watch and I don't think I can do it again. In the morning I couldn't even keep it a secret. I was still on the couch, looking confused. Doris found me sighed and said "You watched it."

I needed a day outside after that. I found out later that it was first meant to be a horror film. If what I watched wasn't a horror film, how disturbing was it originally going to be?

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

Hey Steph,

Ive been thinking about this and I need your opinion. (Reaaally enjoyed the liveblog btw <3) I was thinking what to tell Aziraphale at the end why he shouldn't go to heaven and basically: a) as the main Archangel, he'd totally put himself in harms way (they don't have a great track record of dealing with them...). If a second runaway is seen as an institutional failure, what would they do to avoid a third? Totally erase his existence out of the book of life if he effs up, right? To cover their tracks. And he's right there, surrounded by them. b) It's not like he has any real power. See Gabriel; the minute he vetoed deatroying earth, they wanted to demote him and erase his memory. Without hesitation. So he's just a puppet king, so to say. And c) I don't /trust/ Metatron. Are you really trying to tell me they just randomly decided they like Aziraphale? After the way they talked to him in s1? I don't think so. I think Metatron's just trying to split them up, because together they actually hqve a chance if stopping the 2nd coming. So now they're separated, there's an emotional wedge between them and Aziraphale is right under their thumb. In short, and I'm gonna quote what I said when I watched it, "Nooooo! Aziraphale, nononononono. nonono.... no.."

(Also I feel do bad for Crowley. It looks like he's gonna have to save him again and their relationship already seems kind of emotionally one-sided? Like, Crowley listens to him, supports his passions. But their both trash communicators, I guess. Even when they talk, they don't talk...)

Hey Nonny!!

AHHH I'm so happy you enjoyed my liveblogging!! I hope I wasn't TOO annoying, but I had no livestream to scream at about it so my blog it was, LOL.

OOOF okay I'm kind of still trying to process the end myself, and as someone who REALLY sees herself in Aziraphale, I can totally understand why he did what he did. I was going to expand upon it more in the "season meta" I'm currently writing, but answering this question will also cover a large section I'm writing about the ending, so I'll just answer your questions here and link back to this post, hahaha.

Let's touch upon each of your points, and then I'll give you my general all-around thoughts:

A. I was thinking what to tell Aziraphale at the end why he shouldn't go to heaven and basically: a) as the main Archangel, he'd totally put himself in harm's way (they don't have a great track record of dealing with them...). If a second runaway is seen as an institutional failure, what would they do to avoid a third? Totally erase his existence out of the book of life if he effs up, right? To cover their tracks. And he's right there, surrounded by them.

I had this thought too, Nonny, and that's why I think Azzie is being REALLY naïve in this scene, but ultimately... I think it's all about saving Crowley. I will go more into this in my meta, but the gist of my suspicions hangs on that I believe Aziraphale feels he's responsible for Crowley's Fall, and Aziraphale thinks that if HE'S the one in Gabriel's position, he has the power to do whatever's necessary to bring that joy back to Crowley's life.

We have to remember: Aziraphale DOESN'T KNOW what Crowley knows, but we as an audience do, and because we DO know, it's that choice that makes us scream at the TV in frustration because good-hearted Aziraphale, who wants only what is best for his crush best friend, DOESN'T KNOW that this system is why Gabriel got ousted. Azzie doesn't KNOW about Armageddon 2.0. WE know because Crowley knows, and Crowley never got the chance to tell him (and judging by the dialogue in S2, Azzie ALSO doesn't know about the cruelty that was displayed in their exterminations in S1E6). He doesn't KNOW that Heaven despises him as opposed to "puts up with him". Aziraphale IS a good person and he genuinely believes that him being in charge WILL change things. He doesn't know.

HE DOESN'T KNOW.

I REALLY have a sneaking suspicion that Crowley will actually be the bargaining chip for Heaven to persuade Aziraphale to go along with whatever they want, once Aziraphale realizes he has no power. He showed his hand to the Metatron and the other Angels when he perked up about Crowley coming with him. Crowley might be outwardly and publicly protective of Azzie, but Azzie is INWARDLY and privately protective of Crowley, and tends to try to fix a situation on his own which usually goes pear-shaped for him in the end. So, I don't think it will be Aziraphale removed from the Book of Life to get what they want... It will be the threat of Crowley being exterminated for good.

So yeah, we as an audience know that Aziraphale's walking right into a death slash no-win trap, and despite what happened in E6, I think in S3, we will see Crowley come to rescue him. Big Chekov's gun moment when Aziraphale said in this SAME episode "He does so love coming to rescue me". We're going to get rewarded for a lot of Chekov's guns that are in play this season, methinks.

b) It's not like he has any real power. See Gabriel; the minute he vetoed destroying earth, they wanted to demote him and erase his memory. Without hesitation. So he's just a puppet king, so to say.

Exactly, Nonny. As I mentioned, Aziraphale showed his hand to the Metatron. They WILL use Crowley as leverage, and I think Aziraphale will FINALLY see Heaven for what it truly is: just another side of the same coin that Hell is on. Aziraphale is NOT a stupid person, he just truly does see the good in people (Crowley himself said he's too pure-hearted) but unfortunately that good heart tends to get Azzie into heaps of trouble. Like I said above, Azzie doesn't KNOW what Heaven is capable of, truly, because he hasn't seen it. I think once he sees it, and has his whole view about it shattered, when he realizes that, actually, he CAN'T do whatever he wants to make things better, he will be swayed, finally, to go back to Crowley and tell Heaven to fuck off... and only then will he realize he can't leave because of the stranglehold and leverage Heaven will have on him. The other angels weren't candidates in Metatron's eyes because they can't be manipulated. Azzie CAN because he has something more valuable to him than himself: Crowley's wellbeing. And I think it's here where we will get our trope of Azzie thinking "well, I fucked it up with Us, he's not going to come and save me this time".

BUT HAHAHAH Nope, Crowley will hear about this and come in like the vengeful angel he is. Because let's be real, I think even though he's had his heart shattered, he will always go back to Aziraphale to save him; Aziraphale has pretty much become Crowley's life's purpose.

This, then, actually plays into my theory that Crowley IS a very powerful fallen Angel. Archangels actually rank pretty low on the hierarchy (they're actually BELOW Aziraphale's Principality status, so that's an interesting little detail to file away for later). Since this season was primarily from Azzie's POV, I think next season will be Crowley's, and we'll finally get the answer as to who he really is and why he Fell. Because of his former ranking, I think he will be the catalyst that gets Aziraphale OUT of the situation he's going to be in. I really REALLY am confident that the nuggets of clues they're putting into the show about Crowley's true self will pay off in a big way.

And c) I don't /trust/ Metatron. Are you really trying to tell me they just randomly decided they like Aziraphale? After the way they talked to him in s1? I don't think so. I think Metatron's just trying to split them up, because together they actually have a chance if stopping the 2nd coming. So now they're separated, there's an emotional wedge between them and Aziraphale is right under their thumb.

ABSOLUTELY I don't trust the Metatron either, and as I said above, he is manipulating Aziraphale. He knew 100% Crowley would not join Aziraphale in Heaven. He KNOWS that Aziraphale feels lost being "retired" from Heaven, feels like he's not able to do the Good that he wants to do. Metatron's using Aziraphale's desire to Do Good and Make Things Better for Everyone against him, and it's so deliciously cruel and I can't wait for the payoff.

AND. Okay, a VERY PROMINENT PLOT POINT in the season was just how powerful a TINY, SMALL miracle performed by them BOTH COMBINING THEIR POWER is. It SET OFF ALARMS IN HEAVEN, it was so powerful. Crowley unfortunately, in a "blink and you miss it" line, let it be known nonchalantly that they just were able to hide Gabriel so easily from everyone. Heaven now knows that the two of them together would thwart Armageddon 2.0 if they got involved (which they would to protect Humanity). Now, they know to split them up and puppet "the soft one", the one who they still have a grip on, and they have a better chance of initiating their plan with, as I said, the leverage they have against him.

Because imagine what Crowley and Aziraphale could do together if they let their FULL powers combine. Heaven suspects, and they can't let that happen. I think we will get a payoff to THAT Chekov's gun as well. Or, I hope so anyway. I feel it will be a climax plot point and will possibly also be used to shield themselves from Heaven and Hell for good.

(Also I feel do bad for Crowley. It looks like he's gonna have to save him again and their relationship already seems kind of emotionally one-sided? Like, Crowley listens to him, supports his passions. But their both trash communicators, I guess. Even when they talk, they don't talk...)

For SURE Nonny, and that's the point Nina and Maggie were trying to make to Crowley. They have been at a standstill since Armageddon in their relationship, and it's because both are terrible at ACTUAL COMMUNICATION with each other. We SEE how much they care about each other. The foundations are there. Both are in a sort of limbo because they really don't know "what's next". Remember: Crowley slept through about half of the 4 years (from the Lockdown minisode) so really they've not seen much of each other since Armageddon.

That said, I think their relationship only seems emotionally one-sided, because Crowley is REALLY BAD at hiding his REALLY BIG FEELINGS™ to the point that it's noticeable to LITERALLY everyone else EXCEPT the one person that matters. I think I saw a post describe it best: Aziraphale fell FIRST, but Crowley fell HARDER, which is so true. This doesn't mean that Aziraphale loves Crowley less, it's just that Aziraphale has a lot of trauma and hangups that he won't be able to get over until he's finally free of Heaven's claws; he needs to get over the hump that has him believing that he is undeserving of Crowley's affections because they are angel-and-demon. Crowley, on the other hand, has Big Feelings that evolved into endless surface-level pining.

Crowley's love language is acts of service, so it's WAY more prominent in the series and easier to spot. I think Aziraphale's love language is quality time, but in S2 we see it develop more into physical touch as well, which must be driving Crowley INSANE with lust for him. Seriously, on rewatch, I could NOT get over HOW MUCH Azzie actually touches or reaches for Crowley. Even during the Kiss, he can't help but rub his hands along Crowley's shoulders and back. Aziraphale, unfortunately, is one of those people (like me *cough*) that tend to realize Big Things™ Too Late™, and then think it's now Fucked Up Forever, so back into the bottle those Big Feelings™ go. I GENUINELY believe that Aziraphale didn't realize Crowley loved him until That Moment™, that everything Crowley did was because of a crush, not because they were best friends who would die for each other. Trust me, it's REALLY confusing for people like Aziraphale to process a mutual love, to the point that it's scary and better off bottled up for fear of losing that person.

The time wasn't right For Them at that moment. Not enough was said and both have been stuck in a limbo since Armageddon. Both have some character building to do. And when A Moment happens again (and I believe in my heart that it will), it WILL be the right time, because they've finally found each other and are both on the same page.

-----------

In conclusion, I feel S3 will be about Them Saving Each Other from Themselves. It will be about them finally talking TO each other. It will be about the big emotional payoff for all the angst we went through in Season 2. It will be big and emotional and I am ALL here for it.

Aziraphale and Crowley will get their happily ever after. But we HAD to have THIS angst and setback for it to work.

Thank you so much for this ask!! It's really helped me gather my thoughts about sections of S2 :) I have a LOT to say and this is just a small snippet of it! <3

[megamindsecretlair]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @nerdieforpedro 😚 for anyone who cares, here's a bit about me! 🥹

General rule: I may overshare in dms and authors notes sometimes but Im generally a private person 🤣 to the point Ive lost friends over it. ive been working with my coworkers for 3 years and they dont know shit about me 🤣 I juss really love yall and feel safe with yall so here we go!

1. Were you named after anyone?

No. My mom didnt want our names to announce who we were on applications so we all got regular smegular names. My name is of Irish origin so my yt folks customer service voice got ppl thinkin I have red hair. I mean....technically yes but its buried under my braids 🤣

2. When was the last time you cried?

At the end of The Marvels. The first end credit had me in real, actual tears. On a more serious note, I last cried before my grandma died. Yall, its fn hard being a caretaker. I was not built Ford Tuff.

3. Do you have kids?

*ahem* 🗣🗣 fuck no! 🤣🤣🤣 I dont even have nieces or nephews. Kids make me nervous and Im pretty sure they can smell the fear on me. 🤣

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

I played basketball and softball in HS. I love and miss softball all the time even though my big behind HATES running.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm is one of my love languages. I put that shit on everything 🤣 Physical Touch is my main one since we sharing.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Ooof, tough. Depends. Some quirk like glasses, lisp, moles. How they walk/talk, the way they laugh. I am a lurker by trade. Overly shy kid and writer by nature will do that to ya.

7. What is your eye color?

Dark brown. When that sun hits 🫠🫠🫦

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I am a HUGE scaredy cat. I dont do scary movies nothin! Happy endings over here! 🤸🏽‍♀️ I will enjoy a thriller but only behind my hands and mostly starring Matthew Lillard.

9. Any talents?

.....no? I have a bunch of useless knowledge or trivia that no one asked for but ya gonna get 🤣 . Juss realized writing is considered a talent 😭 so that too 🤣

10. Where were you born?

US, West Coast baybeee

11. What are your hobbies?

Obvs, writing. Reading, sewing, cons, tarot, tv, listening to music, video games (xbox, switch, PC girlie) , Marvel. Marvel is a hobby. I will talk your ear off. That is both a threat and a promise 😚

12. Do you have any pets?

I have two gorgeous Boston Terriers who run me into the ground every day. Idk why my mom thought two was okay 🫠🫠 my Black ass tide 🥲 👏🏽

13. How tall are you?

Fun sized 5'3 and a half 👏🏽👏🏽🤣 pear shaped. I got ass for days but in the itty bitty titty committee. 😭😭😭😭😭

14. Favorite subject in high school?

Definitely English. My English teacher was so fine 🥲🥲 thats not WHY it was my fave but can ya blame me 😩 I loved reading the books but I hated the themes they shoved down our throats. What if that wasnt MY interpretation of the book??? Hmmm? Some faves include: Their Eyes Were Watching God (Teacake 🥵🥵🥵), Brave New World, Bright Lights Big City (probably where my love of second person is from) , Bronx Masquerade, and The Outsiders. And FUCK the Great Gatsby. If I hear about that damn green light one 👏🏽 mo 👏🏽 fn 👏🏽 time 👏🏽😩😡 and FUCK Of Mice and Men, he aint have to do all that in the end. And DOUBLE FUCK I Know Why the Caged Bird sings. Turned my stomach when she described the SA. Lemme stop 🥴

15. Dream Job?

Writer. I will publish, I will be successful, and I will live the life I want. I claim it 😩 on my Octavia Butler, NK Jemisin, Danielle Allen shit 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Whew! That was fun 😭🤣

No pressure tags: @mybonafidefeelings @bratzmaraj @braverthanthenewworld @multiversefanfics @chaos-4baby @westside-rot @saturn-rings-writes @notapradagurl7 @wide-nose-and-wonderful @blowmymbackout @blackerthings @harmshake @targaryenvampireslayer and who wants to do one. I love learning bout my moots.

[jennomess]

oUuuuh another one!

Yesterday, my bf and I were eating dinner in a chicken restaurant(?) with our friend's quintet. I was really foccused in my food when i suddenly JUMP to the strong, sharp and cute t'SHHIU!! from my bf by my right, and, fuck.

I had the opportunity to look at him bc he turned a bit to his right and stayed in a post-sneeze position like 8- EIGHT SECONDS, there, still. But i couldn't find the strenght to act like a normal human being and look at him with a normal amount of surprise - bc yes, it was kinda loud- and bless him, instead, i just looked at him a microsecond through the corner of my eye and hardly kept cuting my fries and grill trying to keep my shit together and don't let them notice that i felt like a trembling chihuahua after a thunder, nervous eyes searching the soul in my fries, the table, my glass, my grill... Bc oooof that sounded so good...

And i don't even remember if i blessed him!! (A friend of mine says i didn't!!!) Now that i think about it i think i was like that like 3 or 5 minutes 💀 all jumpy when he reached my cheek with the back of his fingers or rested his hand in my shoulder...

And now that i think about it more... I didn't watch bc i was focused on my food but i don't remember perceiving that he covered his sneeze with the neck of his shirt like he usually does... The sneeze actually sounded with a sharp echo... DID HE CATCHED IT WITH HIS HAND!? Oooooh man no xv after that i didn't even noticed, i was trying so hard to calm down that i just went on with all his love gestures from there to our way to the bus...

(My friend told me that he sneezed into his jacket, ooof)

(And even doing so it sounded that loud, aahadgsgsgs)

And. No one asked but for the curious he sneezed in F#. Sharp

yes ha ha ha i was so willing to remember this that i got the note

Yes guys imma die my friend told me that i looked suspicious as if i heard a secret, and yes 2 or 3 months ago i told a friend that my bf fits my fetish omg, she's not a fan but i think she undertands people have fetishes so i asked her about this event bc, well, i felt struck by a thunder fuck

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Only Friends Ep. 9:

1. For this ep, I just want Sand to run as far away as possible from Ray (although based on previous ep's preview, I know that wouldn't happen) 😔

2. I don't know, it's too unrealistic for Top to change that fast. I do think that he is just not used to losing anything, which is why he is trying hard to win Mew back. As for Mew, I guess it is also the first time that he was wrong about someone (although, I pretty much doubt that) especially when he prides himself of "knowing how to accurately read" people (see episodes 1 and 2). I still see these two people trying to prove to themselves that their sense of self is not entirely wrong.

3. I'm beginning to think that Sand is either a hopeless romantic or an effing masochist. Wtf. He already knows Ray is toxic. He KNOWS RAY WILL CONTINUE TO HURT HIM (and himself). If he has any self-respect, he will walk away.

4. <on videoing Ray making out with Sand) There's the Top I know.

5. I still don't know Atom's angle in this scene. I mean from being in a cis relationship then jumping straight to gay s*x. With Boston, of all people. Why? I don't think he is fuelled with plain ole curiosity. He practically seduced Boston (although let's face it, it doesn't take much to get Boston h*rny)

6. I think I can recognise Pisaeng's (BMF) campervan lol. Hurray, for Team Second Option! Get an effing move on, gods dammit. Well, at least Sand is aware he is a masochist lol 😅

7. Yo and Mew. Really, don't start relationships that you actually don't want. The fvck. 😑

8. I love Khaotung, but Ray. Ray is trash. At this point, he is using his pain as excuse to be a manipulative, little sh*t to everyone. Also, I guess Mew's brain has been addled badly with drugs and alcohol to believe that Ray's "the word love makes most sense with you" is anything but a confession of Ray's toxic dependency on him.

9. Frankly, I don't think these kids should have romantic relationships. Especially Ray. Ray should just stop dragging everyone to his personal hell.

10. Atom is acting like a possessive bf. AFTER AN EXPERIMENTAL ONE-NIGHT STAND. I can't believe I am siding with Boston in this argument 😂😂😂😂 but fvck, here we are.

11. Maybe Sand and Nick could try it as a couple. I mean, they are both decent people. Maybe they can work it out. 😅 <after 5 seconds> ooof, Nick read my mind lol. Too bad, the kiss started nothing 😅😅😅😅

12. I just want the mums to smack some sense into Mew. Maybe, it would also get rid some of his self-righteousness and feelings of moral superiority 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

13. No, Nick. You left Sand to be fed to a smug, manipulative wolf.

14. Can I push Ray in to that lake? Right now, I have a strong urge to drown Ray and leave his dead body in that mountain top. I mean, Ray is making Top looked good IN MY EYES. Pretty sure the mums prefer Top at this point too. The fvck.

15. Is it just me, or Dan just feels creepy? This show is triggering all my paranoid senses lol 😅😅😅 Also, Nick is not known for his good judgement, he lets his hormones lead the way.

16. Oh, Nick. You poor, crazy sod. Why are you still following Boston??? Your need for closure is driving me nuts. 😑

17. Waiiit. Is Boston actually regretful? Really? Boston? Or is the sight of Nick smiling with somebody else triggering him too?

18. Is this a premonition? Will Ray die at the end of this series? 🤔🤔🤔 I mean, Ray is perpertually high, drunk, and destructive. Pretty sure he is heading to an early death at this rate.

19. Ah, Sand. You really should stop sticking your d*ck in crazy.

20. Ray, Mew looks okay even though you technically cheated on him. Should be your cue to understanding that only you thought you were boyfriends. Mew just needed a rebound.

21. Ngl, I was expecting Mixx in that elevator, not Mond! What is he doing here anyway? Is he another one of Top's exes???

We are almost at the finish line and I'm undecided who needs a sharp smack in the head the most lol. I guess, with Mew and Ray 'breaking up', there's a chance that Sand will not be a sad boy anymore. Although, I still have a strong urge to m*rder Ray after all was said and done.

I still don't know what Atom's deal is. It just seems so sudden that he is in "love" with Boston. Looks like Boston will do some self-reflection but why is Nick still there? I guess, the man just loves the hurt. Also, looks like Mond will play the ex, Boeing. I always thought it was gonna be Mixx.

Well, one thing's for sure — the show is about to get messier. I think Im'ma need to go to church now 😂😂😂😂

[purpledaisiesthings]

CAMERON VO AND SCOTT FORRESTER

Warning: I deeply apologize for all the bad quality GIFs you're about to see.

Ok, so I do understand Scott had a thing with Kellet (and they're probably gonna bring up that storyline again 😒), but tbh I'm not really a fan. I'm not big on off-screen romance development and theirs was developed off screen🤷🏾‍♀️ plus honestly I just like seeing Scott and Cam together on my screen Lol 😄 (they're hot 🤭). I'm always glued to the screen when they show up.

Also, Raines and Vo are cute but I'm also not a fan. Sorry 😬

Anyways, the moment these characters were introduced I saw something there. They had an immediate chemistry that set the tone of their future interactions. They butted heads in the beginning. Then he disregarded the advice of her previous FBI superior and kept Vo in the team. In that first episode, I already learned so much about Scott's character and his leadership of the team because of his interactions with Vo. And as the episodes came, we saw more of the depth of their scenes/interactions together and how much similar they actually are.

I definitely harbored (and still do harbor) a desire for them to get together romantically, but it was just me in my shipper heart having my usual shipping delusions. It wasn't until S01E16 that I feel like my shipping of them was validated. I don't care what anyone says, that was a Vo/Forrester ship episode Lol 😄

That episode was a Vo centered episode.

It was an episode where Vo was dragged into a case by an old friend Nick who she later found out to be involved in the very crime they were investigating.

Now, Vo was obviously questioned and had given all the info she could on this guy. But Scott still chose to ask again which ok, it makes sense as he is her boss.

But then he chooses to ask her again. This time, he asks directly if she had a romantic relationship with Nick. Again, I guess since he's her boss he would need every single info on their connection in order to determine if she's compromised. Right? I get it.

Side note: After asking her, he moves closer to her (2nd gif) and then that stare down he gave her (3rd gif)? ooof...that was hot sorry 🔥

Earlier in that episode he was telling Raines that he didn't have to trust Nick because he trusted Vo. But then what did he do again? He's talking to Nick this time and tries to get info on whether or not him and Vo had dated, even after Vo had told him nothing like that happened. Bare in mind that Vo already discussed Nick with him three times. THREE times.

Too much? Just to know if Vo was romantically involved with this dude? If he wanted to know if Vo was compromised with Nick, aren't there other reasons aside romance that she would be. Like maybe she's returning a favor. The funny thing is Vo had actually mentioned earlier that she owed him a favor because he's saved her a few times in the past. I mean, that would also be a good enough reason for Forrester to follow up on if he actually thought she was compromised. If she feels she owes him, she might also feel obligated to cover up for him, right?

I thought this was all so suspicious 🤔. That episode definitely solidified my shipping for them. Also, I'm sorry but the storyline for Vo and Forrester being together will be so much more interesting. I'm not even going to dive into that discussion and the different romantic tropes that could come from that lol.

Bonus GIF from the episode: their stares.

Look at the first GIF below, and just watch how Forrester watches her get up and follows her with his head as she walks out 😆. Then the second with them staring at eachother just oozing hotness 🔥😜

I must admit I haven't caught up to the latest episodes from season 2, but I do know there's a new character that has joined the team, Damien Powell. He happens to be an old friend of Scott's and also Vo's new love interest. I don't think Scott knows about them hooking up yet but I am very curious to see his reaction to this in season 3. Hoping I would get some sort of concern from his end. But at the very least, I should get a scene with just them two talking about it.

Can't change my mind, these two should be together.

Again, I am sorry for the bad GIF quality. I tried Lol.

[the-sweet-hibiscus]

2023 fic round up

borrowed this idea from several people but specifically @liminal-zone @softlighter @conundrumoftime & @thecoziestbean

Fanworks

posted

Baby, I'm Jealous (LOTR | Haladriel | step-cest | Rated E)

Eyes to Welcome You Home (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | Age-gap | Rated E)

It's a vicious cycle, baby (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | step-cest | Rated E)

Belonephobia (Marvel / Spiderman | Migwen | non-con/kidnapping | Rated E)

je te vuex (discontinued) (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | Best Friend's Brother | Rated E)

Mountain Glory (Call of Duty | Simon "Ghost" Riley/OFC | One Bed Trope | Rated E)

wips

• Lost In Translation (LOTR | Haladriel | the all too well AU)

• Take Me (In the Midnight Hour) (LOTR | Haladriel ) In an attempt to find herself, Galadriel ends up in the tangled web of lies orchestrated by the man she thought didn't exist.

• Lose Control (coming back to AO3 in 2024) (LOTR | Haladriel | Dystopian ABO) Galadriel starts to question the legitimacy of the City after witnessing the harsh treatments of Alphas that come to her door. With the mounting coldness and hostility coming from her family and her government, Galadriel must choose between acceptance or trusting Halbrand and the alphas in the Lower City.

• Untitled (Marvel / Spiderman | Migwen) Detectives Miguel O'Hara and Gwen Stacy must work together to solve a series of murders while denying their own pasts with each other.

• The Office (Marvel / Spiderman | Hobbie x Margo)

• Crimson Clover (LOTR | Haladriel)

Total number of completed works/fandoms written in: 6 Complete Works (5 technically), nearly 57K words combined; 3 Shadow & Bone, 1 Marvel / Spiderman, 1 LOTR, and 1 Call of Duty

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I'm slow but I still like (most of) what I published. Also clearly not built for non-explicit writing.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED: Eyes to Welcome You Home might be my favorite of the year. It was written during one of the worst trips of my life to bury my aunt, and I think that it helped at least keep me distracted enough from grief to help my family where needed. My favorite part was the hopeful ending.

MOST POPULAR: It's a vicious cycle, baby with 246 Kudos. This was part of the Darklina Spring Fling and probably the last time I was my most active in the darklina fandom. I was a silly goober for posting early and not understanding how to post to the collection. In my defense, I am just a baby.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT: OOOF this is hard. But! I have to give it to Mountain Glory, when OFC watches Gaz jerking Soap while Ghost fucks her? It's called team bonding.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE: Another win for Mountain Glory. Probably my least second (eighth) guessed story? And probably the quickest one, where the words came easily and I didn't spend two months debating if it made sense.

HARDEST: A tie between Eyes to Welcome You Home and Belonephobia because they both came during a heavy time in my life. Like many 2023 was filled with loss but for as hard as they were to write I'm glad I did.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: This is so hard! But I think the reception to Belonephobia! I was so critical of it, especially with using a beta reader for the first time in a long time so when people seemed to enjoy it I was floored.

DID YOU TAKE ANY RISKS IN WRITING THIS YEAR? I think branching further in to actually doing multi-chapters? I stuck to posting longer one shots but towards the end of the year I really started planning and writing my first long multi-chapter fics.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY: Lose Control (recently hidden, sorry) has a lot of direct correlation to how I feel about living in America this year. Take Me more closely resembles my relationship with alcohol so there's that lol.

FAVORITE LINES/SCENES: Ooo okay okay okay. I'm going to have to cheat and pull from Lose Control. It's the scene where Galadriel first sees Halbrand, and I just really like how it came out.

But the young collector looks up, for just a second. My heart beats loudly in my chest, filling my ears with the sound of rushing water as our gazes connect. It could not have lasted more than two seconds, but it felt like an eternity. There is something that comes, unbidden, from the recesses of my mind. Alpha.

The word pushes through as if breaking through a dense fog. I nearly scream, frightened by the uncontrolled thought that threatened to seep out of the confines of my mouth. The Zevalise should've prevented it. The Zevalise was supposed to be stronger than our urges. Stronger than the genome. The young collector's eyes bulged minutely – as if he could hear the dangerous thought take shape inside me. He turns abruptly, and his partner takes the case.

They leave, and my mother turns to fuss at me again. She's speaking again, but it doesn't register.

I am frozen. Deaf to the world as I tried to piece together what just happened. I tried, in vain, to understand the thudding in my chest, the rapid decentralization of all my senses from just the connected sight of an alpha. My mouth dries out, and I gaze blankly into my mother's eyes as she makes her final adjustment. I hope she doesn't see right through me.

I wish for no one to see me at all.

MY FAVE PART OF FANDOM IN 2023: Meeting some of my favorite people via the Haladriel & Darklina fandom! Some of the most accepting people I know and I love them dearly for being there during some of the craziest moments. A lot of times it felt like I was going insane with other people in the fandom spreading lies & contextless biases. But it was nice to have people who could objectively come together and acknowledge that "no, I see it to. You're not alone in this."

2024 WRITING AMBITIONS: I'm going to attempt to 1) Write every weekday and plot/edit on weekends, 2) post a completed multi-chapter (more than 5) work, and 3) write at least 100K this year. But most importantly, I would like to actually take more time in editing/writing, and just generally improving.

2024 FICS ON THE IMMEDIATE HORIZON: I don't plan to post in January, however, my next one-shot is likely the Brother's Best Friend Call of Duty AU with Ghost x OFC.

[nikatyler]

why is he standing there like that i love him

(x)

new armour for her wowie!! off to bed now no i don't know why i said wowie

(x)

Finally, we went to see Raphael! Myriam is sick of all these men who think they can tell her what to do (but also ooof. "turn on each other before this is done". Raphael that's not exactly my angst plan but it's dangerously close to my angst plan. what do you know devil)

emperor you will catch these hands i'm serious

I'm not crying you're crying

(x)

she says as she's literally standing in the trap

Anyway, hag fight went well this time!

bye bye Araj 👋

new moots look at Myri's collection of corpses. the nice ones she will bury and pay respects to. the bad ones she will use to grow mushrooms once this adventure is over 😌😌 spores druid things i guess

(x)

so which one of you is gonna step on me first please

(x)

Still stalling in act 3, yes, I don't wanna do the big quests and make big decisions, I'm gonna be honest with you 😌

Watch me kill every steel watcher with my bare hands first before completing even the simple side quests. I'm just gonna run around chaotically

(x)

Been a while since I took Shadowheart out, but I think I'm gonna do the house of grief part today!

That was brutal. A little barrelmancy, lots of aoe spells, Shart actually died like second round but we revived her, then Karlach died as well, all the creatures I summoned were mostly useless…but we we made it 🫡

(x)

WHY DO WE EVEN KEEP YOU AROUND YOU DUMB ELF (affectionate)

(x)

[go-to-two]

Will you be following any shows this season if your not following pd?

Ooof, I need to be 😂

I really did enjoy what Criminal Minds did with their first reboot season, and I still need to watch the second. One of my siblings has been hounding me about watching The Bear, so I need to finally do that. I'll probably catch up on White Lotus (I've seen some), but that's one I heard more in the background when my roommate watched and it sounded like 70% screaming. So we'll see. Other than that, I'll check out FBI International to see what Jesse's up to. I'm always kind of aware of Fire Country and The Rookie, so I might zone in and out of those. And I probably should watch Tracker. Idk, that's all I got. Lots of shows I should watch, but historically I'm not great at actually tuning in.

[the-cat-chat]

July 13, 2024

Gladiator (2000)

A former Roman General sets out to exact vengeance against the corrupt emperor who murdered his family and sent him into slavery.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: This movie should be renamed whiny-manchild-throws-a-tantrum-cause-he-doesn't-get-his-way. And man does Joaquin Phoenix play that role so well here. Cause, yeah, Russell Crowe does a great job as the tragic protagonist, but Joaquin Phoenix really stands out in this role.

He's so slimy and weird and creepy (hello incest much???) which is why it's so scary that he has so much power. He's just very childish and immature too. A very easy character to root against throughout. His downfall is so satisfying.

I have to admit, I have a soft spot for this movie. It's one of my dad's favorites (I'd say it's the #1 dad movie for dads everywhere), so I associate it with him more than anything. But that makes sense because it's a great movie. It's got emotional moments, a bit of romance, bonds of brotherhood, underdog-esque plot, betrayal, politics, some fight scenes.

It is long, but honestly, it's got good pacing and feels necessary for the ultimate, bittersweet ending to have the impact it deserves. I can't wait to see how the long-awaited sequel fares.

Rating: 8/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: So let’s start honestly. I never ever ever saw this movie or really thought to watch this movie. And I’m ashamed to say it’s bc I thought it was a “dude” movie maybe? Subconsciously? Even though I could quote it- had no idea about the plot. And I’m very happy to say I was entertained. 😈 …. Tooo I’ve only maybe seen 4 or 5 Russell Crowe movie, so let’s just call it and say I’m inept.

First can we start with baby Russell Crowe? Nough said. Second can we talk about baby Joaquin Phoenix? What a litttttle freeeeaaakkk. And I’m actually hurt by how young he is in this and someone pls get him some eye cream or iron supplements. But yeah I can’t believe how much he played the role of creep- like he was in it. 5 evil gold stars.

I will say it is verrrrry long and I guess you need it all?? Just bc you need the tragic plot of the first half and his super secret flying under the radar gladiator moment and then bammmm big reveal.

It was fun.

The ending is nuts and I am sooooo mad that little freak stabbed Maximus before the fight but it’s expected. Shoutout to how everyone flocks only to Maximus when he dies too. That’s cold.

I have to say I’m really stoked about the new sequel now even though it’s a different storyline from this one.

^ I do have to mention his family being killed was horrrrendous and the tiger and other gladiators- just ooof.

Rating: 7/10 Tigers 🐅

[lurkingteapot]

Only Friends เพื่อนต้องห้าม Ep 4

Nearly two weeks late and I'm finally, finally getting around to catching up with my favourite mess.

Live watch notes!

Oh wow, we're starting out right away on the heavy stuff, huh

oh god Khaotung's acting, He's so good.

there's that word again, "burden"

thank fuck Mew cottoned on to this being a goodbye

I somehow fully expected Ray to just drop the phone into the tub

he's sitting in the EMPTY tub??? was this just for mess prevention? oh Ray, oh baby.

No, love, no, your mum did not die because of you.

HELL YEAH CHEUAM'S A LESBIAN (sorry, I'm just so excited to hear a girl actually SAY it) (but also Ray being a hit with the wlw tracks)

ooh wait wait, these shirts-- is this the make-out night?

also Ray I get you probably don't mean it like that, but you're sorta … guilt-tripping Mew here.

love the way this kinda tells us audience members a) the backstory of Ray taking that call b) that Mew's rejected Ray before c) that Ray was so desperately seeking connection that he came off weirdly manipulative about it

GOD Khaotungggg

this is shot very prettily but also what the fuck, Boston, is EVERYTHING blackmail material to you

adfsadfa LOVE Mew calling Ray out on the shirt

sleepover!!

"not your type" huh. HUH.

Ray really is hung up on him, huh.

Proud of Mew for setting that boundary.

Sand is not buying it.

Oh Sand, oh Sand.

Ooop put your foot in it

Nick, what are you lying to Sand about that?

oof "he's not normal, his reputation is bad"

oh man the employees all wai'ing the boss's son … urgh god I hate rich people, sorry Top I'm sure you're not actually that bad but URGH (also yes I'm aware of the double standard I've got going here, the way just-as-rich-kid Ray is my little meow meow)

wait, is this the photo booth where Top and Boston made out?

is this just a common architecture feature in spensive hotels, or is this the same hotel they shot Chaan's apartment in LoA with?

ooooh that plane is Boston's, isn't it

Ray and Sand may be doomed by the narrative but I love every second I get out of them anyway.

I love Sand so muchhhh

First is really good at that searching eye contact thing

ถ้ามึงอยากเป็นเพื่อนกับกูอยู่นะ คิดถึงความรู้สึกกูบ้าง BOUNDARIES we love to see them

the way they put the asshole angle on Boston here, I love it

oooh you made Boston mad just now

hookups so you can sleep, hookups to let off steam

oh man, Nick, oh man, this is not okay behaviour and you KNOW it

"I can't" -> the way it's put in Thai is กูไม่สดวก which is basically 都合が悪い but feels like 困る. Gotta ask teacher about that one.

is this why physical pictures are all you deal with, or are you just … talking out your ass because you know Nick is dtf either way for a bit yet

Mark Pakin, the actor you are

this is not news but I'd like to reiterate that I love how we have Rich Boys and Poor Boys are a theme here

asdfadfasdf "stay away from Boston" Nick, Top's been TRYING

but oh man Top is an arrogant ass. like. scary slick.

Ohhhh wow Nick, wow, wow wow. at least you're self-aware? ish?

Oh fuck of course he ran over Sand

Go go go Sand

oooof there's history here, I see. I still think it's about someone Sand liked before.

I really hope Sand's bike is fine

Nickkkkk how about you don't lie to Sand? but urgh you're also getting him in trouble which. ooof I can see this making things really complicated for him and Ray going forward.

Sand is like "oh bruv NO"

CALLED IT

Mew is so unimpressed. I'm impressed with Ray for owning up to it though, and for apologising – it's so easy to fall into the "I'm an awful person and they'll hate me anyway" spiral.

okay so at least Sand and Ray can bond over hating Top

Mew, please get mad about Top being a controlling ass like that

You've got nothing to hide, right, Top? Right?

sooo was that Not Mew in the car with Ray, then? Photoshop?

oh we're going here, huh

oh wait, was that him again just now?

that's a really good line to draw, Mew, and also you've got an excellent point about addiction here

oh man oh man oh man I'm really liking Mew more and more this ep and Top is doing nothing to endear himself to me.

oh man, someone's gonna drink that water and it's going to be a Situation™

Top, you asshole, if you could not question every single one boundary Mew sets, that'd be ace

so the thing is. Top. Why would you think Mew would believe that? you talk big.

!! this is a song from the playlist!!

fuck, Sand is so gone on him alreadyyyy, I really thought he had more distance than that, but nope nope nope

I continue to be so impressed with this show. The preview is nerve wracking, but I'm going to be strong and only watch that when I've got another 5k or so of work words done. One more ep, and then I'll have a day to wade into the tag! EXCITED.

[artsimpourtzi]

I have a week off from work and decided to marathon lanthimos and watch his films for the first time, Im now a little depressed b/c of it. I was wrong in starting out with dogtooth I was hella confused at first but at the same time I rewatched it after poor things I actually liked dog tooth alot more after the second viewing.

I am surprised the favourite is seen as his best work by critics, while I enjoyed it and probs his most accessible It might be the one I liked the least. Sacred deer is probs my favourite I like the cynicism and the black comedy present in that film.

Sacred deer

Poor things

The lobster

Dogtooth

Alps

The favourite

Dogtooth and the lobster I could easly flip depending on my mood.

Ooof that sounds like an interesting week. I agree on the favourite, it’s a fun watch but to me is the least authentic to himself movie. No wonder it ended up his most accessible. And it gave us (and him) Emma Stone as his muse sooo can’t be mad.

I think my personal ranking is:

The lobster (my absolute favorite)

Poor things

Killing of a sacred deer

Kinds of kindness

The favourite

Dogtooth

Alps

I’m pretty firm on the top 3 the rest are most on vibes and on the fact that I watched dogtooth in high school with zero idea of what I was getting into and I will never forgive him for that… me and my friend felt we had to rewatch twilight right after just to empty our brains 💀