#it was pretty fun and a good starting point methinks

[clevereverest]

“Hindered” - Oneshot

Summary and tags below + Link

[ @newsiesficchallenges for the Sapphic Blues (Newsbians) Event Week! ]

[un-pearable]

MARIO GOOD

[kooberryfields4ever]

releasing a little earlier than anticipated cos it’s 4:30am and i can’t sleep cos i’m busy thinking abt jay ….. i was sooo excited to work on this one icl😭😭 jay nsfw alphabet will be a ride (literally) 🙏 jake up next and then enha hyung line is finished nd i’ll probs start teasing fics/drabbles …. & i’ll probs release ones for jk/soobieboobie too so if ur interested in them pls look out🥺

content warning : nsfw below the cut, dom/sub vibes, ddlg, breeding, spanking/bdsm (minor) etc etc

MDNI !

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jay is a very attentive and romantically in-tune guy !!! despite how rough he likes to be with ur body he’ll always make sure ur perfectly looked after when he’s done using u

and boy will he use u…… like aftercare is very much necessary….. more on that later :3

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

fingers………… guitarist…… need i elaborate???

and he’s so good with them too like to the point where some nights u beg him to just use his fingers to get u off

his favourite body part of urs is ur ass :3

just loves seeing how red it gets when he spanks u to tears

the way it jiggles after he slaps it n it just feels so good to play with it n grab it n spread it so he can get a perfect view of ur holes all creamy for him :((

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

very clean abt it, likes using condoms so he can throw away what’s necessary and there’s less to clean up

but on the off chance that he’s feeling particularly primal :))

expect to be fucked absolutely to the brim w his cum :))

like i’m talking no holding back full breeding kink jongseong mode, wants to see u full enough to carry a baby even tho ur on the pill nd the chances r so low <;/3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

has maybe thought abt babytrapping u once or twice😄😄 he can’t help it :(( the thought of u with a beautiful round belly and swollen tits makes his mouth water :(( just wants u bred so perfectly, wants to make u a mummy so bad…..

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think jay is one of those naturally gifted sex havers

like i don’t think he watches porn much and like everyone else i’ve spoken abt i think it’s too early into their career and they’re too busy to experience much in their own schedules

but he just gets it,,,,,, like he knows his own vibes and he knows what he’s into and he’s VERY in tune with his partners

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

reverse cowgirl :3

loves to see that fat ass bounce while he fucks u from below….

gives him a god opportunity to pull u back against his chest n wrap his fingers around ur throat too

drives him crazy seeing u get lightheaded while he pounds into ur pussy

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

defos a more serious lover but not in a sunghoon way, more intimidating….

i just see him getting rly turned on when u listen to his instructions and take what he says seriously outside of sex, so i feel like it would apply during as well

but not necessarily always serious

like there are days he feels less dom and just wants to fuck his girl nice and slow, feel u squeeze around him, that’s when he’ll be open to a few giggles and having fun

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

in between hoon and heeseung methinks

like not fully shaven but def trims shorter and more regularly than hee

feels more masculine with hair nd kind of likes when he sees ur nose buried in his bush when u give him head

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he’s very romantic <3

sex is passion and love and seduction and jay wants to make sure that even when he’s being rough and a little bit mean u know he loves u beyond what he could possibly articulate

so yeah expect candles and roses and slow sensual music while he drives himself deep into ur cunt

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

likes to have a wank every now and again, for his health x

not shy to call u up or text u (sext u) when he wants to get off and ur not around

just be prepared for videos of him jerking it from start to finish where all u can hear is the slickness of his cock in his hand and his quick breaths while he tells u how bad he misses that cunt of urs, wants to fuck his cute little girl so bad….

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

don’t shoot me

a little bit of ddlg

discovered it one night randomly when u guys were discussing ur future and having children and u referred to him as “a daddy” offhandedly

made his cock instantly hard, he just knew that second he had to fuck u and fill u with his cum and get u to call him daddy again the whole night like a good little girl

also think he’d be major into giving praise, not much of a degrader but if ur being a stubborn little girl don’t expect him to be nice about it….

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

bed.

yawnnnnn kooberry will u ever say anything different

no >:( enha hyung line to me (minus jake) want to share their intimacy with nothing but the bedroom !!!!!

like why fuck u anywhere but in his bed where he knows nobody else can see his little girl while he pounds into her tight pussy and works her clit until she’s cumming around his cock again and again :((

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when ur being rly attentive and good for him, like without realising

like if he tells u to get something from the fridge for him and u do it without question…..

takes all of his willpower to not stop cooking and bend u over the kitchen counter to stuff u full of his fingers nd praise u for being such a good girl for daddy :3

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

probably heavy degradation, calling u a slut, whore etc

i think the worst he’d say is “stop being such a fucking brat” nd that’s if ur testing his patience like pushing his buttons to no end (which he enjoys sometimes)

would also probably start fucking u harder and faster in apology while spanking ur ass beet red for being a brat

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

prefers giving. loves treating u good and making sure ur looked after before him

it’s not sex with jeongseong if u havent orgasmed at least once before he fucks u

maybe even twice

likes receiving too, loves when u relax ur throat around him and let him use his hands to guide u nd fuck ur throat a little

especially when u gag a little omfg. drives him crazy with need like …. ur letting him use ur mouth soooo well like a good girl

defos still more of a giver

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and VERY rough

like shoving ur face into the pillow to get u to shut the fuck up while he pounds into u kind of rough

can’t have anyone else hear how good his little girl takes his cock can he ???? then he’d rly have to punish u

flips u onto ur back so he can pin ur legs against the side of ur head and shove himself deeper and deeper while sucking on ur nipples and rubbing ur clit aggressively

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he would, by this point he’s an expert with ur pussy and knows he can make u cum easily if ur both needy but on a time crunch

like i can picture him shoving u into the supply cupboard at mubank before prerecording and pressing u against the wall…. has to apologise over and over again for the stretch cos he can’t open u up properly rn but it’s okay cos ur already so wet he can just slide right in anyway :(( and then his fingers are already at ur clit or tweaking ur nipples so u cum first <3 nd he can get u on ur knees and shove his length down ur throat until he finishes with no mess :3

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

sure, risk is a part of the fun ;)

would gladly take u in semi-public places like a fitting room or an unlocked dressing room bc it turns him on thinking about the ways he can get u to shut the fuck up

like how deep can he fuck u while ur mouth is gagged with ur panties ?? the answer is VERY

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

honestly takes him a long time to cum so i don’t necessarily see him wanting to go multiple rounds when ur always so spent after the first from how long he plays with u and fucks u

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

owns them for u and u only

stuff like a small paddle or different vibrator wands cos sometimes he wants to try something new and get u to cum harder, like a challenge to himself

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

teases when he feels like a) u need punishment, or b) he’s feeling like a bit of a dickhead

likes to thrust his raw dick up and down ur wet folds while he opens up the condom wrapper, just to hear u beg a little

but if u beg hard enough (and call him daddy) he’ll forget the condom all together and just slide into u raw nd give his little girl exactly what she needs :((

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

rly low grunts

i just don’t think he’s very vocal otherwise, maybe when he’s praising u or telling u how bratty ur being

but otherwise it’s just his deep sexy grunts

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

u nd him r cooking in the kitchen when his phone rings…. his hands r all messy so he asks u to go answer it and of course like the good girl u are, u obey immediately :3 nd u look so cute when u answer, covering the microphone to whisper “it’s jake” to him, that he can’t help but rinse off his fingers immediately and pin u to the wall……. n he’s being so dirty :(( and unfair :(((( and whispering shit in ur ear like “daddy’s good girl, answering the phone for me, ur not gonna let him hear u now tho are u??” while u try to hold back moans n he shoves his fingers past ur waistband :(((

and jake’s just as confused !!!!! “y/n??? u good??? where’s jay??” he questions while jay plays with ur pussy and kisses at ur neck, telling u to answer

he’s so mean :((( u just have to tell jake to call back later he’s too busy!!!!! hanging up and tossing the phone to the side so jay can finish u off ^_^

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

slightly above average length, not too girthy

made to shove himself deep and fill u up just enough to beg for more :3

circumcised !

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

pretty average, needs to fuck u at least once a week if he can

can do without for a while but just be careful when ur back around him bc there’ll be some subconscious pent up energy there….

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

i think he falls asleep quite easily after sex

likes to clean u up and give u a massage and some food n drink but as soon as he’s done all that and cuddled up next to u he’s out like a light

[aluria-sevhex]

so now i'm in Act 3 i guess

notes:

-methinks Siffrin is panicking

-plot twist: you can't escape the time loop until you deal with your... ???

-no you little bitch don't pretend everything's fine that's not good for your mental health

-YOU *KNEW* THIS WOULD HAPPEN??? FUCK YOU LOOP

-i'm not giving up you little shit

-ok Loop what IS your deal. you *asked* to be here???

-ok i need to help Mira with her mysterious papers

-:O A HINT AT ODILE'S FIELD OF STUDY

-the music is more unnerving than it was in Act 2. also it sounds glitchy now

-oh it's normal now. was i just suffering from an actual audio glitch and just. didn't question it? like "oh yeah ofc it's glitching things are fucked now"

-...that enemy didn't spawn down here in Act 2.

-eh ima get off for the night

-late in the evening on July 4th and i am back yippee this is probably a bad idea considering how long my play sessions get

-YEAH THE TITLE MUSIC MY BELOVED

-ok i can't help Bonnie on this loop- HOLD UP. DID SIF'S ART CHANGE IN THE MENUS? YEAH HE'S NOT SMUG ANYMORE ToT also i think their profile used to say "It's you!" with an exclamation point but now it says "It's you." with a period :(

-rip my darling blorbo Paper α V

-side note: idk if i've mentionwd this before but i like how the levels, stats, and skills all show the fact that you're near the end of the journey (ex. Odile having Rock, Paper, and Scissors III at the start)

-I FOUND THE BOOK BONNIE WAS LOOKING AT.

hmmm... death rituals...

-hehe i found the stostorage roomoom

-NONE OF THESE BARRELS WILL LEMME TAKE THE NUTS >:(

-another book in the headache-inducing language i can't read.

-weird shit going on: Siffrin, Loop, the King, the disappearing island, the headache-inducing shit

-hehehe yeah Isa i'm sure you'd *love* to pet your taciturn hopeful-future-partner

-it's not just the menu art i think Siffrin's battle art is also less happy. :(

-HOLD UP. also! Siffrin's profile used to call them the Traveler but now he's called the Wanderer. :(

-hehe. Sif hit the counter and said nya again. cat Sif

-this enemy ALSO did not spawn on this floor before. fucking giant hand thing

-ok thinking: can't help Isa until i've helped everybody else in one loop, can't help Bonnie on this loop and i need to prove i know them via their favorite foods, need to help Mira and Odile...

-thank you Loop for being available- OH I CAN BRING UP THE SADNESSES BEING DIFFERENT :O

-ok need to help Mira with the papers. some are in her dorm. Odile wants to read a familytale. i'll have to find one in the library or secret library. need to find out Bonnie's favorite foods by trying different ones. maybe i should loop forward a bunch to different areas, find out their favorite foods, and THEN do the big loop where i help everybody!

-i need to talk to the King eventually

-looping forward to Floor 1's end

-fun fact i'm keeping track of all my causes of death in another note. i'll share it when i finish the game

-man i also need to figure out how to help Mira's fan and remember where the last book issue is...

-the looping screen art is nice :]

-yeah yeah i need to beat this asshole to get to the snacks

-hold up. the coin fell on heads this time. strange...

-last time i picked plantain chips. this time i'm picking cookies. would probably be good to check what Bonnie eats each time

-ok they like rice. time to loop forward!

-while i'm on Floor 2 i might as well find a familytale for Odile...

-LOOP 24? THE MATH DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

-WAIT THE GAME ACKNOWLEDGES IT. HUH. YEAH I SHOULD BE ON 23. SIFFRIN IS SUS 𐐘

-fuck. i accidentally moved forwards when i meant to go to the library. it's fine i'l help her when i help everybody

-oh great i have to fight these assholes again.

-fuck. i think i fucked up and didn't make sure Mira had Pretty Moving Cure. i might get a game over.

-this is by far my dumbest death

-LOOP 27??? I WENT FROM 24-27

-gonna try to be less liberal with loop usage because the skipping is kinda scaring me

-aw... Siffrin's friends try not to touch him as they squeeze through that's nice... wait. he seems to not be remembering why. did he forget that they don't like being touched... maybe. maybe i should call Loop.

-well that was unhelpful

-time to adjust the memories i have equipped. welcome back my lovely scrimbly blorbos Lovely Moving Cure and Paper α V

-hm. ok so the boulanger in Dormont has a familytale...

-oh my god we're discussing colors. what happened to them.

-THEY STILL EXIST. BUT WE FORGOT HOW TO SEE THEM. ???

-*SIFFRIN*. HOW IS THIS FAMILIAR. JFC YOU ARE SUS

-plot twist! Siffrin is from our world and forgor that he got isekai'd! :P (i love making random bullshit predictions it's very entertaining)

-oh yeah so RE: Siffrin's altered art: Sif's time-frozen portrait used to look panicked but now it looks calm

-hehe openphrase123 worked

-love Sif's habit of picking up random shiny shit. magpie or crow behavior.

-oh? Siffrin didn't always hate croissants?

...bruh.

-also damn shout-out to Mira's crisis over not knowing some of the people

-the combination of Siffrin's silly attack names and serious battle portraits feels so *wrong*

-:o Sif learned a new skill

-ok i'm gonna log off for the night

hey if you wanna read all of my posts as i play through ISAT, they are all tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

bruh when i was making this post i accidentslly pasted the notes again there instead of pasting the tag name. that truly was. delightful. to go through and delete it all

also shout-out to those of you who i keep seeing popping up in my notifs liking these posts ;) and also anybody who takes the time to read all this stuff :D i know that *i* like seeing other people's reactions when they experience stuff i like for the first time so i'm very happy to provide that for others! also it's nice to see some of the responses ^-^ :D

[savventeen]

hmm savv what would u do with mutual pining and woozi? :3c

daisy,,, beloved,,,,,,,,,, how dare you make me think about mutual pining w/ woozi ( /hj ) (i am already pining for him and thinking abt MUTUAL pining is going to drive me actually insane methinks g o d sdkjflskjdf)

ok so. SO. after vibrating in my seat and fantasizing abt lying down in the middle of the floor for the rest of time as i think about this concept, i have come to the following conclusion: mixtapes. and i mean in the classic "hey i made you this mixtape" sense

reader and jihoon are both producers for the same label and don't really interact that much at first. in fact, they don't actually even meet for the first time until soonyoung invites them both to his birthday party and they start talking shop, bonding over teasing soonyoung, and then ending the night with a promise to grab lunch together sometime.

fast forward a couple of months and they are officially Friends. they've managed to start a tradition of getting lunch together once a week and bitching about various work bullshit, and they've also started to hang out together in group settings after realizing they have more mutual friends as well

reader is the first one to send jihoon a song. it's a few hours after their weekly vent session, jihoon having taken up most of the time complaining about shitty higher-ups giving ridiculous deadlines and stuck-up idol wannabes trying to tell him how to do his job without having a clue about what his job actually is, and he gets a message from reader that says "i feel like this fits ur current mood" with a link to a song. [cw the song linked has a somewhat startling gun sound] he clicks on the link, curious, and then bursts out laughing after a few confused moments of listening bc that was NOT what he was expecting, at all

and that's how it starts, really. a few days later, he sends reader a song with the caption "how much u wanna bet soonyoung would choreograph something to this just bc it has the word 'tiger' in the title" / "no bet he absolutely would" / "ur no fun :P" / "sorry can't hear you i'm sending it to soonyoung as we speak"

pretty soon they're sending songs back and forth almost daily "what are ur thoughts on this" / "?? i don't speak french" / "and?" / "...ok yeah this is p good" "is this kinda close to the vibe you're trying to get for that one group you're working with?" / "not quite. but that's ok bc IM Vibin with this one" "i need u to stop whatever ur doing and listen to this with the bassist bass you can get with w/ ur setup" / "ok??" ... "holy shit" / "RIGHT?"

fast forward another couple of months, and reader shows up to jihoon's studio with a can of coke zero and a flash drive. "what's this?" / "this, my dear woozi-ssi, is going to be the solution to our creative blocks" and then reader goes on to explain their idea: they both have tracks that they're stuck on (personal, professional, or otherwise), and so they're gonna 'sisterhood of the traveling pants this shit' ('i literally have no idea what you're talking about'). aka: reader put some files they're having trouble with on this flash drive, and jihoon's gonna add any notes/ideas he has and then give it back with some of his own trouble files on it. rinse and repeat

and not only does it work ("ohmygod i've been trying to figure out that bridge transition for DAYS THANK YOU") but it also becomes Their Thing. like, they're used to collaborating with other writers/producers/etc bc it comes with the job, but something about this silly little flash drive... feels Special. [*cough*it's because they're catching Feelings*cough*]

tHIS IS GETTING SO LONG FUCK OKAY other things i would include in this fic: - one noticing the other has been working on a lot more love songs lately (or maybe a lot more Sad (read: pining) love songs) - reader has a bad day at some point and they end up losing the flash drive and they have a breakdown over it (jihoon comforts them and also helps them find it we love emotional hurt/comfort in this household) - scenes where they're individually waxing poetic about the other to different friends and the friends are like "bro. ur in love with them" "uh, no? they just have a great work ethic and a great taste in music also their lyricism is just—" "you. are. in. love." "i admire them professionally!

AND THEN THE CONCLUSION!! one of them decides to bite the metaphorical bullet and confess their Feelings. this could be either of them, but i'm gonna go with jihoon bc i can. so of course he can't just say "hey i love you" like a normal person, he has to confess through music. so he goes out and buys a new flash drive (with a really cute cover bc he knows they'd like it) and puts two folders on there. the first folder is full of instrumental files and is titled "all the times i couldn't find the words". and the second folder is titled "and all the times i could" and it's all love songs he's written inspired by/for reader

he sneaks into their studio and leaves the flash drive on your desk while you're in a meeting, and then he Waits and waits and waits some more until it's time to go home and it's been total radio silence and his heart feels like it's been crushed. so he starts to head home in the rain (bc i am a cheesy bastard and love rainy confession scenes) but after a few minutes of walking he hears shouting behind him and he turns to see you sprinting at him while screaming his name and before he can get a word out you're clutching his shoulders, soaked to the bone and asking "do you mean it? the songs, did— do you really mean it?"

and all he can do is nod because his heart still hasn't quite found its way back to his chest yet, and then he can't nod anymore because you're kissing him. you're kissing him, and he drops the umbrella he was holding and you're both kissing in the rain bc you're both obnoxious helpless romantics and "y/n-ah, i mean it— i mean it. i love you"

"i love you too, you stupid romantic bastard oh my god"

"hey, you're the one who started kissing me in the rain"

and it ends like the cheesy romcom this turned into bc i couldn't help myself and i need to lie down in a puddle of feelings now k thx

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hey! I feel like Ive been at this for a goddamn eternity so in an attempt to speed things up I shall read 3 chapters today, how exciting. Im motivating myself by telling me that Im gonna get to watch the 2007 Takarazuka Snow Troupe Production of Elisabeth when Im done, specifically my favorite song because. okay so, when I talk about watching any Takarazuka production of Elisabeth what I actually mean is, I have pretty much all the proshots and a bunch of english subtitle files, but theres not a subtitle file for every existing proshot, so for example, theres a subtitle file for the 1996 Star Troupe Production but not the 1996 Snow Troupe Production which isnt a big deal since the diaogue and lyrics are all the same, but you cant just put the Star subtitle file over the Snow video because itll be completely out of sync, so what I do is, I put the Star subtitles into my subtitle editor with the Snow video and I manually re-sync every line to create Snow subtitles, and while I do that Im effectively just watching my favorite musical over and over again except very slowly. So yeah, in case you were wondering what your favorite acotar complainer does for fun, now you know

Anyway, enough of my life, now its time for my liveblog, last time Feyre and Rhysand got ambushed by some of Hyberns soldiers and Rhys got shot atleast 7 times and kidnapped and tortured, but Feyre was fine and she saved him and she pulled all the arrows out of him and now hes probably gonna be perfectly fine. I know this isnt gonna affect him in any meaningful way, like his wings are gonna bd fine and his back isnt gonna hurt, but I do hope that he atleast suffers for the duration of the 3 chapters im gonna read because otherwise whats the point

Chapter 50

Rhysands wounds are only healing very slowly and hes got a fever, we're off to a good start

idk why but I really hate Feyre kissing him on the forehead. the narrative has not earned such a tender gesture

THE SURIEL 🎉🎉

Oh, i hadnt noticed this before but I like the alliteration we get with the german translation of Feyre Cursebreaker, Feyre Fluchbrecher. 10/10 very fun to say

its been ONE year since Feyre first came to Prythian, Sarah im begging you, please stop pointing out the passage of time youre activel making it harder for me to get invested in this stupid romange

They translate 'Mate' as 'Seelengefährte' ['Soulmate'] and oh, you have no idea how happy I am about that, this and the fact that they dont say male and female but just man and woman/masculine and feminine makes this series about a million times better, once again, thank you Alexandra Ernst

I dont understand why Feyre being Rhysands mate is such a big deal anyway, she didnt grow up in this culture, and pretty much all she has at this point is Tamlin's vague explanation of it being a bond that goes beyond marriage and the fact that his and Rhysand's parents, both infamously horrible couples, were mates

'"He is the most powerful High Lord to have ever walked the earth. You are... new. You were created by all seven High Lords. Different than anything that existed before you. Does that not make you the same? Equal?"' ewww i hate that. If this is supposed to be romantic somehow why would you make it all about power, why wouldnt the Suriel say smth like "You both suffered in the same ways. He is the is the only one to ever truly understand you"

But also. Rhysand and Feyre are not even the same though ? Like yeah, Rhys is powerful, but wasnt Feyre special because shes capital-m Made, which he is not? If the logic behind mates is the two people being 'the same' in some way, then Feyre should really be Amren's mate methinks

Im not gonna lie, Feyre angrily forcing Rhys to drink her blood is pretty hot

'Deep down I hated myself for speaking to him like this.' No girl dont hate yourself, this is the first time in over 600 pages Ive found the feysand dynamic even remotely compelling

'I stared at him, this Illyrian half-blood whose soul was bound to mine.' what the hell? Top Ten Feyre Archeron Racist Moments

This mf really told his cousin and his weird freaky eldritch creatures whose apartment he pays for that he and Feyre are mates before he told Feyre

I just zoned out thinking about a version of Feysand where Feyre is basically constantly telling Rhys stuff like 'youre just a burden' or whatever she said during that one argument because shes starting to figure out his weak spots the more time she spends with him and she wants to like, break him emotionally as revenge for UTM and Rhysand doesnt do anything about it because he just represses all his emotions and he cant just stop spending time with her because theyre mates and he feels like he needs to be close to her all the time. Idk, abusive relationships have been my favorite angst fanfic premise lately

Its so wild how Feyre is super angry with Rhys for keeping the mating bond from her when literally everyone else already knew and not only is he gonna do the exact same thing with the baby in acosf, Feyre is just gonna be fine with it then even though its arguably much much worse

Chapter 51

Okay so I guess Cassian, Azriel and Mor have just been hanging out in Rhysand's warcamp house, do they not have anything better to do

god i wish being all pathetic laying in the dirt was Rhysand's default state instead of him always being the manliest man to ever man

Oh, so I guess Mor used to get locked up in this cabin in the middle of nowhere whenever she 'misbehaved'. you would think she'd have more sympathy for Nesta in acosf but from everything ive seen.....

this chapter was extremely short

I completely forgot that this book was split into parts, i guess its The House of Mist time now

Chapter 52

god the anachronistic clothing in this series is gonna be the death of me, why is feyre always wearing leggings and a cremecolored swester istg

Full offense, but if the mating bond is soooooo much stronger than marriage, Rhysand should not have been earnestly worried about Feylin getting married

This part where Feyre is relieved because it turned out that her relationship with Tamlin was always doomed to fail because she had a soulmate is pretty interesting, but it also feels like complete bullshit for reasons that Im struggling to articulate

I would just like to reiterate that I am so relieved that they just call it soulmates in the german version, I cannot imagine how insufferable this must be to read in english

Feyre started painting again hoorayyyyyyy. i feel like this wouldve been more impactful if she wasnt constantly thinking about wanting to paint whatever she sees, but hey

I actually think this part where Mor comes in and just goes around complimenting all the stuff Feyre painted everywhere is quite nice, I think i would enjoy it more if this whole story wasnt pissing me off rn

waiiiiiit ive never seen people talk about Mor's mother even though shes apparently alive and well, whats their relationship? Whats her role at the CoN if Mor is supposed to be the queen of the Hewn City??

Mor being like "Rhysand gave me his permission to kill my abusers but I dont do it even though I have pretty much no reason not to, but Cassian and Azriel really want to do it and would do it without hesitation so maybe I'll let them do it" is somehow a perfect summary of SJM's shallow wannabe feminism

Feyre still barely understands the relationships between individual members of the inner circle but sure, theyre the family she never had

[pagodazz]

Youd be willing? YAY!!!!

Could we have some more hcs about vinny and habit, then? :3

YESYESYES OF COURSE!!!!!!!!

I absolutely ADORE DOING THESE AND THOSE GUYS ARE MY HEART AND SOUL SO!!! get ready for some,,

also, I've decided to just. incorporate playlists of the characters I write for:

I personally think their dynamic is one of most misunderstood when it comes to the slenderverse. And I understand that's probably an unpopular opinion amongst many but, TO ME. PEOPLE GET THEM ALL WRONG.

HABIT and Vinnie have basically a very domestic life from what it seems. I mean, You can see that they can move around each other with ease and HABIT has no issue being affectionate with Vinnie, (Vinnie most likely would never initiate it, he knows better. even tho he's immortal and would heal, he's not looking to get gutted.)

You can see that vinnie has no issue talking back to HABIT and being a smart ass. He KNOWS HABIT needs him around, so he's gonna treat HABIT how he wants while he's yk,,, literally being held hostage.

NOW ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!! AND ONTO HCS!!

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I think that HABIT is actually a really good artist, I think he probably has a Chicken scratch art style which I find to be really nice.

I think Vinnie is also a pretty good artist, especially after he was left alone for awhile, he definitely picked up some extra talents. probably just a bunch of little things that he could find to entertain himself.

I think that HABIT is a hot chocolate drinker, Vinnie is a tea one. But they both like having coffee in the morning. HABIT likes his with more cream than coffee and Vinnie likes to have a nice Even amount.

I've seen that many people think HABIT makes Vinnie clean up the blood of the victims or the house and stuff and I really don't think he would force him at all, if Vinnie WAS cleaning, it'd be out of his own free will. But I honestly feel like HABITS got his powers. he can do that shit himself methinks.

-----------------

They're both absolutely insufferable, I know that for a fact. But they seem to actually connect on things, they have common interests and they both want to take down slenderman.

HABIT isn't out killing everyday I don't think, I mean for example, what if the weather is just fucking horrible out?? you think HABIT is gonna go out? NO WAY.

I think days, or nights like that, they'll turn on a movie, (most likely a slasher/horror/gore movie) or play a video game, or maybe they'll just go off and do their own things but, obviously in their personal places.

I think this obviously built up over time too, after years of HABIT being the only person Vinnie interacts with, I think it's bound to get a little friendly.

I think it started off with HABIT forcing Vinnie out of his room and making him sit in the living room and he just basically calls him a big sad loser and he needs to unwind because it's making HABIT feel like a big sad loser. (he's lying of course, but he really does want Vinnie to stop moping. it's annoying.)

over time they got comfortable enough to sit on the same couch together. and even more time for HABIT to be able to put his legs over vinnies as he points out the flaws of the kills In each movie.

Habit is ALWAYS talking during movies, and what's worse, so is Vinnie. THEY'D BE HORRIBLE TO WATCH MOVIES WITH. they'd be making fun of the characters and the plot, or they would be talking about what they would be doing instead. Probably ending in them making fun of each other for being so predictable. (they have no other friends. they basically function the same.)

Vinnie actually finds that listening to HABIT ramble can be calming sometimes, mainly because it's a good sign that HABIT is in a good mood and he doesn't need to be walking on eggshells.

--------------------

I think HABIT has taken the time to learn vinnies favorite meals, so on days Vinnie is "really good" (There was no need for the canon use of "im a good boy" and "you've been a bad little boy.") he'll make Vinnie his favorite thing.

Vinnie is always so suspicious of course, and that always makes HABIT happy, He's always glad to know that Vinnie doesn't trust him, atleast not completely. HABIT likes that. He's found someone who he can respect and someone who respects him.

Vinnie knows his place and that might just be one of HABITS favorite things about him.

-----------------------

I think that they actually like to watch each other work, even though they actively complain about it.

Yes this even goes for Vinnie filming HABIT torturing. He doesn't really enjoy the whole torture part, but he likes watching HABIT work, and it gives him content, wether he can even post it. Hes sick in the head guys, his curiosity will ALWAYS get the better of him.

Although I think Vinnie much prefers to watch HABIT clean and sharpen his weapons. HABIT'S weapons are his pride and joy, he loves them more than anything. ANYTHING. and Vinnie can see that when HABIT takes care of them, He admires it a little.

He think it's kind of beautiful, the way a entity so awful like that could find love for something even if it's in some sort of twisted version of it, it's still love right?

And I think HABIT really likes to watch Vinnie work on his computer, or well, he likes to BOTHER Vinnie while he works. I see him basically as a cat who is desperate for any kind of attention.

I could see him basically throwing himself at Vinnie and touching all over his face and hair and messing with his laptop and asking several questions that he definitely knows the answer to, he just wants to watch Vinnie's face as he gets annoyed. He finds it fun.

Vinnie can never EVER stay angry for some reason, maybe it's because sometimes for a split a second, HABIT looks like Evan.

---------------

HOPE THESE WERE ALRIGHT... I didn't want to write WAY too much.

[domain-of-sentience]

ch 37 ramblings

no post for 36 bc my thoughts can be summed up as "seele and susannah cute"

ok i'm pleasantly surprised by this chapter, i went in w/o any expectations other than "seele :)" and "i know hos is in this :)" but that's it. it's just really good and charming!!!

uhhh i'm crying because almost all of the screencaps i took were just hos being cute and/or sexy even though this chapter was like 80% seele.... i can't even start off this post with anything related to the main character lmao.....

but i mean look at her.....🥹

one of my favorite honkai stories was the fall guys event bc of how interpersonal it was and how there were even bits of character development... in MY honkai event?? i couldn't believe it... and that's what 37 reminded me of

like this had: a simple premise ✅ digestible writing ✅ personal stakes ✅ excellent pacing ✅ hos ✅ fun and immersive scenes ✅ incredible expressions and animations. don't even get me fucking started on this they were so charming ✅ hos ✅

and not once did i have to ask myself "what is the point of this story" because i was too focused on the seeles' separation anxiety and their inevitable reunion 🥹🥹

speaking of seele, her interactions with hos were funny. tbh i prefer dynamics with clashing personalities more but these two clashed anyway despite being extremely similar in many ways.... says a lot about them methinks

also i don't journey to the west but i'm pretty sure that's a journey to the west ref. i mean hos is practically a monkey king expy isn't she 🙊

THEY DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT BOOK OF FUXI.... also again with hos only worrying about her old timer 🙊🙊🤨🤨🤨

this... tidbit puzzled me. like if it's really from hos' pov then i'm pretty sure she told more than one white lie during that arc (more like 3259835), and she's good at it (in my (biased) opinion). dunno if this was just awkwardly written or if i'm misunderstanding something

hos cares about others in her unique way hehe.. what a wingman

on a side note hos' (CN) voice acting was exceptionally well-done here. bananamace i love you.... idk how it is in JP though.

ok this was post was mainly about hos and red seele but i really enjoyed most of it. it's just a good story with plenty of intrigue but i'm also hoping the next few chapters will hit me with a steel chair

all in all i give this chapter a rating of 9/10. point dinged for making me slow walk as chen for an entire minute

[blossomingtininess]

evidence gathered! now, friendos, allow me to introduce my semi-embarrassed writing of the following topic:

"rock paper scissors, to me somehow has very agere coded protagonists and i'm asking you to hear me out - coming from a person who's only ever seen one person in the main tag agere posting"

don't mind paper. he's a bit awkward about it

(mentioned episodes i got info from came from a google drive! i'm happy to dm the link for anyone interested, anxious abt posting it out in public very sorry)

anywho, let me begin

Getting basics out of the way:

- The show's about the aforementioned protagonists (Rock, Paper + Scissors) who're all roommates also i think they're in a poly relationship but that's another story

- They get up to whatever chaos they can, and things always seem to take a chaotic twist. Be that through overconfidence or insecurities

- All in all it's a fun time, even if some stuff could be seen as flaws to other people

now let's get into the fun stuff! why i think they're all small

EXHIBIT A: ROCK

- He actively calls himself whimsical ("I wanted a hot air balloon because I'm whimsical!" or smth close to that)

- Described often as "like a child" - friendly fellow, naive at times. They say that and I hear "regressor who's comfortable enough with his peers to regress openly"

- ⬆️ Related-ish, often seen going off on his own adventures and having his own form of fun (not that he isn't keen on his friends' view of fun)

- Described as a mediator who can understand who his roommates are deep down and explain why they're doing stuff that they do. very experienced in the smallness business

- All in all very small fellow! Wants to have fun and have his friends get along even if his emotions get a bit outta control sometimes

EXHIBIT B: PAPER

- BUDDY. HE'S SMALL.

- He really wants to be smart (since his family is apparently all high-achieving) but struggles with it. such stress calls for smallness methinks!

- He gets frustrated a lot, see the above point

- Does at least seemingly relax and have some form of downtime with his pals when he's not all stressed out

- absolutely a "small when stressed / tired" guy. trust me on this

- THIS WHOLE SCENE IN THE WEEKEND STORY (+ the buildup)

- I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S ➡️➡️➡️⬆️ A SMALL GUY i mean they both are but stilll

- I think he mentioned in some episode that he got bullied when he was younger?

- Overall Paper is a guy who's doing his best but it's hard and he just gets stressed out and angry and it boils over into smallness

EXHIBIT C: SCISSORS

- canonical dad issues and it makes sense he might want to have another chance of a childhood. poor lad

- always tries to be cool but is just pretty insecure deep down even when Rock + Paper have their own "things". like paper, such stress calls for smallness

- Seems like a little who's proud and chaotic at his core, but he shuts down quick if he thinks he's messed up even a bit. fortunately his roommates are far better father figures than what his likely was

- also probably the last to willingly admit his own smallness? I imagine Rock admitted it naturally which then prompted Paper to accidentally slip a few days afterwards (making him open up), and then Scissors finally decided to be open too when it clicked that his pals would get it

- I'm sorry i have less points for him

In conclusion! Small roommates. my god i feel so embarrassed writing this but i'm willing to let people hear me out on this if they wish

also if that one person i mentioned at the start sees this uh hello! you aren't alone friend

anyways have a good dayy

[77angelnumbers77]

you mentioned that erisol was a NOTP before writing ECIP, at what point would you say you went from disliking the pairing to actually shipping it? have you grown more fond of it as you continue writing ECIP?

Alright. Liz answer asks normally challenge, impossible. Clearly. Answer below the cut.

To be honest, the reason I disliked it initially is that it struck me as male VrisRezi without any of what made VrisRezi appeal to me -- their childhood friendship, the betrayal, etc . . . it was just Eridan fighting Sollux over a girl he thought felt like he owned.

On top of that, I didn't even like Eridan all that much until I listened to Ugly Story by PhemieC. It sort of humanized (trollized??) him for me. I reevaluated his motives and just his character in general -- if nothing else I can say that he's well written, even though he has so many faults.

I guess it's also not completely true that I didn't ship EriSol before ECIP, I just disliked it because EriSol shippers gave me a lot of shit about VrisRezi. So . . . when two guys have a toxic relationship it's cool and fun, but when two women have a toxic relationship it's suddenly intolerable? It strikes me as a reflection of fandom's opinions on female characters in general. I might be reading too much into it.

I did interact with EriSol content and I did read some amazing fics, but a lot of the time it wasn't quite portrayed in the way I thought it should be. My problem is I have very specific opinions on how certain characters and relationships should be portrayed, which makes it pretty difficult to find good fics in particular. I'm a huge canonverse diehard for most of my fandoms and pairings, for example.

All this to say, EriSol always struck me as interesting, but I have beef with some EriSol shippers. It's a natural part of being a long-term member of a fandom, methinks😭

As for ECIP? It's been a real journey for me. I started writing it during a time where I had been reading a lot of EriSol content. I was half asleep when the idea struck me and I wrote like I had been electrocuted, although I continued to be half asleep. When I woke up, I had a passingly good first chapter, and it just went from there. I told myself that I was going to wait until it was finished to publish, but I got excited at some point and just released it as it was. That's why some of the earlier chapters are so rough and short -- I was still getting a feel for longfics and, aside from grammar and spelling, it is largely unedited. ADDITIONALLY, I wrote it during a break between Homestuck re-reads, so that's why some of the details are weird. I know I'm doing a great job of selling my fic right now . . .

Thanks for asking!! I'm a pretty big fan of EriSol now, although VrisRezi is still my big ship. These two hold a special place in my heart. Above all, I want Sollux to be happy. I still don't like Eridan very much, but like a parasitic mold, he continues to grow on me. If Eridan makes Sollux happy, he can have a little seadweller. As a treat.

[yewphoric]

HI HELLO HEJ HEJ 1, 7, 11, 18, 26, and 35 . . . FOR JENAIS AND RAGNARRRRR

HI HI HI HEJ HALLO!!! >:3 THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME EEHEHEHHEHEH

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

HEHEHE. Ragnar is associated with orange to me, though he mostly wears blue in the form of his Stalhrim armor! He doesn't have that until he goes to Solstheim, but tbh I think I'm gonna have to mix in some blue to his previous armor designs, methinks hehe FOR JENAIS: Obviously he mostly wears black with red accents, because that's His Robe. Despite that, I associate him with green, and draw him with the color green a lot hehe. Orange is for warmth, fire, and all around like... idk. just Warm. And then the green for Jenais is definitely for envy, necromancy, and even a bit of Hermaeus Mora coding... >:3c

7. favorite animal? why?

Ragnar likes birds, mainly hawks! It really just finds them fascinating to watch, and feels that they guide it in the right direction... Hmmmm... :3c And Jenais likes elk! He's always admired their antlers and grace, even as a child.

11. what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

OH BOY HEHEHE... we'll start with Ragnar again here. Ragnar has inherited my struggles with knowing myself and identity, as well as unhealthy selflessness. I think we could get along but communication might be kinda hard skjflsdj AS FOR JENAIS... those that know me know that he's a massive projection of a lot of Problems I have/had, especially around the time I developed him, lmao. He's very much gifted kid syndrome/burnout, he's been used as a vessel for me to explore being arospec, and in general he's kinda like if I just flew off the handle, but worse. And no, we would not get along, at least not at first... but I'm not sure I have the patience of a saint that Ragnar has to actually deal with him for long enough for us to actually get along KSDJLKDF

18. their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

HAHA WELL... funny I'm answering this today, since Ragnar has taken the reigns and developed itself in a direction I didn't think it would be going. SO LIKE. It's outwardly against lying, but actually lies QUITE a bit. Mainly about itself, its thoughts and feelings and such, as much lying to itself as it is lying to others to keep its appearance up. As for stealing and killing, it will do it if it must, but prefers not to. It generally stays away from stealing, as it never finds a valid reason to steal-- where as killing has become an inevitability in many cases. As for Jenais, well, his answer should be obvious: neither of those things are wrong, and in fact, they're pretty damn fun! >:3

26. how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

OOH OK so Ragnar is very sure with his movements. He's very graceful, but his movements also hold weight. He's light on his feet but he's very muscular and has a good bit of body fat, so despite the grace it's easy to see that he could pack a hell of a punch if he needed to. He's quite sturdy too, and hardly ever loses balance. Jenais... I like to describe how he walks as almost like stalking, creeping, etc. He's fairly good at being sneaky, but even when not trying to hide, he moves with a strange sort of... I can only really describe it as a predatory gait, I guess?? Like he's ready for anything, always planning something. He's NOT sturdy at all though, and is easily knocked over. He used to be much more clumsy but has grown out of that for the most part. His posture isn't great, either, which adds a bit to his freaky, evil, creepy charm.

35. do they ever return home?

YOU WANTED TO HURT ME WITH THIS ONE. POINTS. I KNOW YOU DID /LH Short answer for both of them: No. Ragnar never had a home, how could it return? Jenais can't find home in the house he grew up in. Nothing is left but ghosts-- and the memories haunt him well enough as it is.

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami Anon x3 but so real………. Yeah idk how old he's meant to be but he very much gives me like 21-30 35 at oldest age range vibes. Which I think/agree is a factor in Why He Is Like That. I know its technically noncanon but i also think a lot about the implications of Minami once never drinking but then when he discovered fire breathing he started drinking 24/7 from this one scene w Majima in dead souls like hmmmmmmm….. wonder what’s going on there buddy…….. something you'd like to share with the class Minami about how you perceive yourself/any potential wants for attention. Anyways it’s okay if the you sound untranslatable I understand and also relate to that feeling of 24/7 thinking i come across as incomprehensible 💖 no pressure to do so but I would personally love to read that Saejima teacher ramble and how it affects Minami etc etc also

ohhh man it's canon. if we're taking rggo's scraps as having some relevancy then dead souls absolutely is canon. and more importantly, its canon TO ME (takes consecutive puffs of my copium inhaler)

yeah i had this at the ready. yeah. i tear my shirt open and it has "the line from dead souls where Majima outs Minami as a fucking square" tattooed across my chest. not the line itself but those exact words. i cannot describe how his charm shot thru the fucking roof to me when i heard he used to be completely straight edge!! what a fucking dork!! come here i'm giving you a wedgie boy

and then the ehhhh half-subjective half-objective tragedy of him succumbing to a vice to the point of functional alcoholism (or currently functional aud as some folks call it, which is unfortunate naming conventions for those who use australian currency) implying he's been a "pretty good drinker" for an extended amount of time. and the kicker is majima totally could not care less. there's no evidence to Him Specifically being the one who got Minami to drink but it's absolutely regular Family practice, if the boy wants to fit in with the Majimagumi he needs to top up!

hc shit-i-made-up territory but i LIKE to believe that Majima personally influenced him this way during whatever limited time they had in direct contact with each other (cause while you COULD have their dynamic between a twat who signed up + the twat who runs the business and nothing more its not as fun. a little too parasocial methinks) but this is 99% due to me finding a song that makes me imagine the perfect sequence for this (dont get me.started on Majimagumi songs. i like to delude myself into thinking i'll animate to one of them eventually). also considering the kind of man Majima was during Shimano-servant-era i feel like it wouldnt be too out of character. he's not a malicious person but by god he does stupid shit and hurts people so much in so many horrific ways he could not care less about putting some highschool level peer-pressure shit on the new recruit just because he's Bored. what's one more hurt person in the grand scheme of things.

Alllso... getting back on track..? WHY was Minami straight edge in the first place. it could be any reason under the sun but the way it's worded here really sounds like it took a lot of willpower to break his resolve to just have a sip, just tryyyyyyy it, yadda yadda. if Minami is as punk as i totally project unto him to be, then he'd be no stranger to lives lived in excess..... i could not tell you for certain that Straight-Edge was a Punk Thing in pre-2010 Japan whatsoever. an attitude, sure, but i'm talking music scene shit........ however, gigs involve lots of booze at the bare minimum regardless of country. 'tis just the way of life. and 'tis a plausible outlet for WHY he seemed to have such a strong unwillingness to drink....

you know, outside of other stuff like experiences with friends and family. those can work too. those are considerably more sad and personal... those can work alongside gig culture shit. i dont have anything explicitly outlined but its definitely something i'd like to write for him... make up a little backstory so i can maybe explore some themes that RGG wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, like addiction. it interests me a lot and getting it somewhat RIGHT interests me a lot. i know for sure RGG would fuck it up LMAO

[msdk-00]

Essays are the WORST…. I’m thankful I finished all my gen eds so no more writing for meeeeee— there is always tomorrow to start your essayyyy. Or you can jot major points on your phone so you got a rough idea of what to write about tomorrowwww I use to do that a lot for major essays so I didn’t feel bad about starting the actual essay.

Also YEAAAA I animate that’s pretty much all I do (now that I’m only taking courses for solely my major) animating is really fun but a pain in the ass and I need to lip sync so making sure the mouth movements are right…. Also pain in ass… plus timing….. pain

yes rn i'm struggling to even pick a topic for my essay! i have to choose something that i'll be able to pump out 2k words on so i'm trying to find something good. writing notes in phone is good idea i'll do that if i think of topic tonight

animating seems so hard i've wanted to try it but alas my drawing skills are still not good enough methinks. someday i absolutely want to try because it seems so cool and rewarding... good luck w what ur animation project! my major is english so the writing shall continue for me until the day i get to leave this wretched institution

[you-have-missed-messages]

ditching studying for this (will bite me in the ass later ((tomorrow)) i have SO much i need to do) because i have waited far too long and i need to unwind and fucking DIE a little bit (in a good way) methinks also i cant believe its already like the weekend pretty much?? the days r going by so fast already tis kinda scary guys not gonna lie cuz wtf man...... so after some carefully meticulous planning we went out last sunday and it was so so so fun and honestly i think everytime we go out i get years added to my lifespan!!!!!!! i love her!!!!!!!!!!!! also it continues to bewilder me that somehow i pulled thsi bitch but here we r so i am not gonna question it this is just how life workso ut sometime or something idk she is so wonderful and pretty and i am so massively gay because just like wow???????? WOW????????? i really want to compliment her more because she deserves it and because its true and also because i need to fuel her ego and self-confidence but i am so awfully shy sometimes that i cant spit the words out or do something i wanna do that it pisses me off when i think about it afterwards!!!!!!!!!! also idk why everytime we hang out we end up wrestling one way or another??????? it just kinda happens somehow and tbh im not complaining i like the physical contact and its funny so!!! shrug!!!!! oh yeah honourable mention to the "good girl" comment that basically felt like it shot a bullet thru my head when it registered??? idk how i did not die right there and then but i applaud myself for that cuz i wouldve outted myself so bad if i had reacted NOT so accordingly also also i keep thinking about how at some point my head was wedged like riht between her thighs.......???????? which like at the time I DIDNT PAYATTENTION TO BECAUSE MY END GOAL WAS UNDOING HER SHOELACES (THE WHOLE THING THAT STARTED THIS ORDEAL) BUT THENSHE LEFT RIGHT AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED EARLIER AND I WAS JUST LIKE "oh....OH..." because that DOES NOT JSUT HAPPEN????????????? ORI GUESS IT DOES BECAUSE IT DID THEN IDK IM GETTING BRAIN DAMAGE

[ram-de]

my usual tuesday kinda day

oh wow, look who's here. me again. venting, thinking i'm going to have some reflective introspection moment only to get back and let myself fall deeper into the hole i dig myself. exactly. i know what i'm doing. and i can't even blame my home or my family. because i'm given space and time and all the warm comfort i needed. it's all me. i could blame my habit or some kind of mental illness but i'm not diagnosed and at this point that's just me trying to pick at something to blame.

i wrote a lot about how i'm so flawed and complain about myself and my life a lot. but there's not enough guilt. maybe i felt guilty when i wrote it, but all of it gone when i slept. the morning always fresh, though a bit clueless with all the options of what kind of distraction i'm going to sink deep into.

i've tried books. i don't read books, but if it's a distraction, i can dedicate weeks switching books. i've tried manga. andi i liked mangas, all the tropes and all the pretty art of works that i mostly read pirated because... i'm not exactly working and i don't know if i could afford subscription prices. i should work and let myself face the reality of how hard it is to make money but here i am. talking big and doing nothing. what else have i tried. oh. i've tried games, too. rhythm games, genshin and later on honkai. they're fun and immersive. i've tried netflix, movies or shows in general. and since i'm a marathon kind of guy, what else is there to do than to binge watch most of the series i found interesting?

i've tried lots but not anything productively. well, i tried doing doodling and sketching random things as a hobby. couldn't commit. what else? huh... i don't remember most of it. look at that. i haven't tried much. i didn't do things to improve myself. and no matter how long of a paragraphs i could write about how i really wanted to improve. i don't know if myself would commit to it. that's how much i don't believe in what i could do. 'coz it's so easy for me to bail. to ditch. to leave. to run away. to postpone. to be still. stagnant.

i'm such a hypocrite. fuck myself, am i right. fuck it all. but i can't afford to fuck it all life like that. because... because i spent time pursuing academics... and... and... it's just... i should be more desperate to run past the finishing line. but instead it's more of a whatever-ish kind of vibes from myself. it's so. weird.

it's easy to imagine how liberating doing such an fuck it all moves in life. i can't do fuck it all for a final year project of college because else how can't i graduate?! i can't do fuck it all for post-graduation plans because how else can i get a job? i can't do fuck it all for even coming out and saying i'm gay because i don't have a job and also i don't want to like be apart of my family and be estranged for it. i can't do fuck it all for shaving my head because i'm too much of a coward to make it like a symbolic kind of acts to make a fresh things to start my life with, and for me to just think of it like leaving my burden away with the hair being shed and cut. i can't do fuck it all because maybe i don't want to fuck life itself. i have hopes. but fuck me for not holding onto that strong enough to push myself forward. to force me to walk and do stuff. fuck it all. i said. fuck it...

what even i'm saying. i had this outline in my head about how i want to start the post of vent. so basically. i watched two seasons of the white lotus and it's such a good show. tense. funny. s1 definitely funnier than s2. it's so unhinged it's good. and ahem theo james. yes. um. what? no. i mean, i love series with ensemble cast. and the way it all lead up into the chaos that is the finale? *chef kiss* methinks.

okay, what else. ok prelude done. uh... then i was going to link it with why i was watching the white lotus in the first place. yes, yes. i was thinking of a show that is similiar to nine perfect strangers. and this one shows up right there. better, tbh. so... yep. and why was i watching nine perfect strangers in the first place? well, i was looking for bobby cannavale's other works since i liked his character in the station agent, joe. i think. i wrote a post about it. thinking it's going to be my. like. last movie before i face the world and my problems that i hid under my bed. and look am i here! you know what, why was i watching that in the first place? well, because i was watching kembang api on netflix, and was downright UNDERWHELMED by it. like. really. zero chemistry whatsoever. I'M NOT HATING ON LOCAL MOVIES!! i was intrigued by this movie and the premise. time loop? yea i'm a time loop trope enthusiast. ensemble cast? (i mean it's like 4, but still they're strangers) ok yea i like that too. and yea whatever. why was i watching this movie in the first place? becasue i was tired reading books.

and why was i reading books in the first place. exactly. distraction. fuck me.

ugh. i could talk about it for hours!!!! i should talk about it, actually. but like. with real people. not a void. but i like the void too.

currently? i'm thinking of what kind of lines i'm going to write? am i leaning into the oh i'm so scared of myself and the future or, would it be more into the well i don't think i cared anymore or stuff like that. but then i ended up thinking about what am i going to write? how do i want to be perceived when someone reads this like duh this is a venting blog no one is supposed to read this.

whatever...

how can i practice self-compassion when i'm so ignorant to my own responsibility? when i basically ditched myself? when i... i let myself be in this kind of situation again and again. there's no solution to a problem that i am not willing to work to solve. am i not willing? i'd like to think i am but i don't know how. no, scratch that. i am too ignorant to be willing. i don't know anymore.

maybe it's my hungry stomach writing. whatever... ugh... i'm reminded on the monthly reflection thing and the monthly spotify playlist too. see how commited i am to it whole? ahh....

[elsecrytt]

Cat(3) Mini Manifesto

A collection of Cat(3) pairing moments (there IS some satan/solomon in this, though it could be read as platonic or romantic depending on your read of satan)

SPOILERS FOR: "Wishes" Memory UR devilgram (it's the one with Satan and Solomon on it, and a giant cat), Solomon's Bday event, the current anniversary event

Warnings: long post~

OKAY SO. starting from between Satan and Solomon during Sol's bday, there was the following exchange:

Pictured here: Satan, "not blushing":

when even luke can tell ur being tsundere,,, satan bby u could get tips from mammon at this point -

Near the beginning of this event, when you're setting up Sol's bday party with the brothers, Satan agrees to help right away.

He specifically says that Solomon is always doing things to help you guys out. It's pretty apparent that Satan has quite a lot of respect for the sorcerer, and even appreciation for his intellect.

Fun little HC: Satan knows that Solomon wants a pact with Lucifer, and likes the idea of getting Solomon to go after him, instead.

Note that in this event, Lucifer doesn't publicly give Solomon a card. When it's delivered later, the message is direct and impersonal >.> methinks Mammon wasn't the only one jealous -

The point being, Satan gets along quite well with Solomon, and even admires him to some degree, which Solomon quite appreciates (he expresses to you later just how thankful all these well-wishes make him feel, and Satan's message was probably the most personal).

Solomon also says "That does sound like something you would say, Satan" - implying he knows Satan pretty well... perhaps he's been paying more attention to him than he realizes >.>

ANYWAYS. To continue!

In the Devilgram for the "Wishes" card - I forget the exact name, but Satan and Solomon are on it, along with big cat.

Here's were some genuinely fun dynamics start to show up.

GOD I FUCKING LOVE IT WHEN. MC can act wacky like this. Satan's response is disappointing but Solomon doesn't miss a beat clarifying, and Satan gets right into it~

And then we get more of Solomon knowing Satan pretty well - after all, he DID name the group chat "Cat(3)"!

(It should be noted though, in season 1, and Satan's early devilgrams, his interest in cats is a surprise to MC - he seems to be more open about it, at least to his brothers, as seasons go on)

MC is allowed to totally empathize with Satan (it's cat(3) after all hehe) and Solomon is just hanging out there, empathizing with it.

If you pick the option to say you're not sure if you can do it, you get an encouraging remark from Solomon, ever the supporter~

And if you ask Satan for another wish, he says he's totally fine... and Solomon insists, a good sorcerer of the people does NOT let hopeful Satans go wanting!! (while snickering to himself lol)

THEY ARE!!! ADORABLE TRIO!!! AN ABSOLUTE TREAT!! And it's not over here.

When you give Satan his giant cat, he's positively delighted, and Solomon actually seems to find him quite charming.

Honestly he totally is. Satan fawning over adorable giant kitty,,, hnnnng,,, totally heart-melting tbh. And he wants you to join in, too!!

I love!!! Normally calm intellectuals fawning over the things they love and gushing about them to other people! IDEAL!!! RELATIONSHIP!

One person going giddy (or as close to "giddy" as Solomon's old man face can express) while the other two are just happy to be helping,,,,

And of course, later on, when you offer to re-cast the spell that made the cat giant, Solomon steps in with the Wisdom, gets you to temper yourself.

MC is often prone to overreaching, in various ways that can totally get them killed (even if you don't choose those options all of the time... SEE: Season 1 lol), and Satan and Solomon together - despite being a little bit wacky in their own ways - still try to hold you back.

And of course, Satan and MC combined can be an absolute MENACE, worthy of the Avatar of Wrath and his master

Solomon's expression when he asks you what you want with the stone is absolutely hilarious. He's very genuinely concerned XD

It's not surprising given his age, but Solomon's basically the Adult of the group, when you and Satan go feral/ultra mischievous. Tbh it's pretty great.

sDiavolo here promises not to tell Lucifer if he overhears what Satan wants to do, which was a touch I totally squeed at.

Lucifer!!! Just!! Likes to play!! With his son brother!! This is how Satan asks for attention interacts with him! Tsuntsun wrath demon is too proud to say "I love you dad" after all his teen angst so he throws curses at him!!! it's heartwarming!!!

Solomon: Are you... not going to protect your right hand man from his evil son Avatar of Wrath brother?

Diavolo: Solomon they're demons this is how they show affection :)

Solomon, who has a healthy respect for Satan's intelligence and ability to cause problems on purpose: Um,

MC: Count me in!!!

Satan: :D

Solomon: UM,

Pictured above: Solomon desperately calculating how to save Cat(3) from their own internal insanity.

It's an absolutely hilarious day when Solomon has to be the voice of reason in the group. With Satan being so normally rational, and his apprentice being normally reasonably nice, he's definitely in for the trip of a lifetime XD

They're just all!! Unique brands of feral/weird!! Satan, Solomon, and MC all bring so many fun attitudes and abilities to the table.

Plus the fact that Lucifer is a pretty important person to each of them, but in drastically different ways LMAOOO. Their motivations may diverge, but they're here for one another anyways - to enable, and sometimes, perhaps,,, to balance XD

MC is definitely a positive influence in Satan's life and as Solomon's apprentice I daresay you're a grounding figure in Solomon's life, or even the central focus of his thoughts a lot of the time.

You'd all work really well together, sometimes disastrously so!! But it'd be so neat to read about, and such a treat to be a part of~