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#it wasnt good for my mental health
thegeekyartist · 1 year
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Fuck I feel ill
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deoidesign · 28 days
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"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever
(I make a webcomic about them)
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vio-lenceee · 3 months
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welp. sad news: my computer died on me this weekend. as well as my AC
distracting myself with mr dekarios, whom i cannot meet, but can think of 24/7 and draw on paper
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liquidstar · 1 year
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but for real i love adventure time bc in the face of shitty family members that are also space war criminals, most kids show protags would be all "guys lets not fight... we're family! we can be friends! peace and love!" but finn is like "im going to personally rip off my dads arm because i hate him"
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destinysbounty · 5 months
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I know I have wayyy too many fan projects on my to-do list to warrant adding another one onto the pile (cough cough the 30-minute love triangle video essay), but for years now I've been wanting to do a rewrite/novelization of the Shadow of Ronin video game. Because like, the lore of this game has so many fucked up implications that never get acknowledged - but unlike with most fucked up Ninjago lore, the game is just obscure enough that not as many people are familiar with it enough to facilitate a broader discussion about this stuff. And dammit, I need at least one fic talking about how messed up SoR actually was and if I cannot find it I guess I'll just have to create it.
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flamboyant-king · 7 months
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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
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thedrotter · 3 months
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
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i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
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the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
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Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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is it really erotomania when i know deep down this Old Man and i are going to meet AND i know he would also be deeply attracted to me bc who wouldn’t but like whatever time will tell stranger things have happened in my life. also concurrently i think well then what. what will come out of that interaction. so why am i constantly ruminating on it. So annoying
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At the anger stage of realising I have childhood trauma
#for the longest time I didnt even register that what ive been through probably counts as trauma#especially because i was doing the comparison thing#like all my friends had fucking???? awful parents and I was here pimping mine out because they were supportive of my being queer#and they were supportive of a lot of things growing up#but also there was a lot of stuff that im now realising was Not okay#and that actually just because there were good things that doesnt negate the fucking emotional problems I had growing up#anyway im just angry that I now have to fix this shit if I wanna try and live a life#personal#raven rambles#like im sorry youre upset that i dont have a traditional job parents#and im sorry that I have struggled so much and that Ive been so listless about my life because of things I didnt understand#i understand them now and Guess What!!!! theyre most likely inherited FROM YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!#youre upset that im not the person I could have been WELL SO FUCKING AM I#AND NOW IM ANGRY THAT YOU COULD HAVE FUCKING DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT#when i was BEGGING YOU FOR FUCKING HELP AT 14#WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME!???#WHY DIDNT YOU FUCKING BELIEVE ME WHEN I TOLD YOU I WASNT OKAY!?????#All these psychs and gps telling me I have excellent insight into my own fucking mind and my own emotions is so validating#but also so fucking anger inducing#because for so long I was trained TO NOT FUCKING TRUST MYSELF#but actually i have very good fucking insight apparently#so I love you parents#but also fuck you#fuck you fuck you fuck you#I think ive pinpointed why I have been feeling like smashing plates a lot recently#anyway ya boy has a mental health plan booked huzzah!
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chaoticlivingperson · 1 month
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I hate how if you do art ppl will tell you to do something more valuable with your time. Dont get me wrong, they'll tell you your art looks so nice and stuff but then turn around right after like they didnt just say that and spout 'advice' at you. I hate how you have to prove the value in something to make it seem worthwhile. Like no Nisha, i dont do art because im good at it, i do it stay sane. I do it because it makes me happy. I do it because i stopped for a year and it was the most miserable year of my life. I dont care that it doesn't 'have value'. Shut up.
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bmpmp3 · 11 months
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literally such a tragedy what channel zero did to search and rescue woods youre telling me the author lost the publishing rights for THAT like im still so mad. we could have had a book. we could have had a book
#sorry i hate the third season of channel zero always have and im speaking my truth now HJKDLSJHFKD#okay like. channel zero in general. the first season is like#i wouldnt say its good. honestly it started okay and kinda intriguing#and then got kinda bad. and then at one point it flipped back around and became camp to me#so i kinda like the first season but through no credit of itself HJKHJKDS#and as an adaptation i thought it was like too confusing for people unfamiliar with the creepypasta but too uninterested in the details#of said creepypasta to appeal to fans of it. but it was a bit camp. a little bit#the second season was fine. it wasnt perfect but i thought it held up decently as a story and as an adaptation#i never got around to watching the fourth season. i hear it was fine#but that third season was WRETCHED i remember it being rated well as a story but it was so like. disrespectful as an adaptation#(also it was too focused on gore and blood for me at the time. like i dont mind gore but it felt so like. meaningless?)#(and i wasnt sure about its depiction of mental health at the time but maybe my opinion would change nowadays it has been a while)#like you got the rights to such a weird and surreal concept and ignored it entirely....what on earth#no baby crying loop in the middle of the wilderness alone....no stairs that cut off your arm cleaning in the woods...NOTHING#literally so tragic. @ nosleep authors and other online horror writers PLEASE watch out when giving out adaptation rights#if i remember correctly the poor search and rescue author got screwed over by syfy which is so sad 😔#also please publish some kind of paperback version of ur stories for lil ol me. pretty please#basic print on demand is fine id just love to have more creepypasta and nosleep stuff on my bookshelf LOL#also still sad theres no left right game book. blease it would be so good published BLEASE
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francy-sketches · 1 year
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i know she's not saying this bc she actually cares about what's best for him but she kinda went off so true queen. he is just a little guy he should not be in charge of a country
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bones-n-bookles · 11 months
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5.5 miles with Torch and Kit 💚🌕
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crowempress · 11 months
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Having gotten back into DMing more this year the amount of old DMs I had that would straight up guilt trip over canceling or cutting sessions short is INSANE. like I cannot imagine running a session when someone isn't feeling it like... DMing is only fun if I know my players are happy and having a good time wtf 😭 I cannot imagine someone being tapped out or upset at the table and still forcing them to continue?? Or making them feel bad for being busy??
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bunnihearted · 1 year
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🐇☁️🌷🐌
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fruifruit · 6 months
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someone fix me
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