#it’s a stabbing joke

[bluebluebluewoods]

My gracious companion

With your eyes of doe and thighs of stallion

By your hand is the only end I foresee

I have been dreaming, you’ve been dreaming about me

[drac0line1nn1t]

*Logan coming into the living room and stretching after waking up*

*Wade walking in groggily and staring at Logan*

Logan: My eyes are up here bub.

Wade: Yeah, but your tits are down here.

[itsmeimcathy]

March: *starts*

Tumblr:

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More random Nimona headcanons

Bal is one of those people who isn’t allergic to anything except one random medication that no one uses 

Ambrosius calls him a lucky bastard every time it’s brought up because he’s allergic to everything 

His allergy list is at least three pages long and he doesn’t remember a single thing on that list 

Whenever they go out to eat Bal has to remind him “No you can’t eat that it has olives” “Not that either love it’s got lemon” and so on 

Most of his allergic reactions are pretty tame so he’ll eat it anyway

And it gives Bal and Nimona so much fucking anxiety 

One time Bal walked in on Nimona chasing Ambrosius around the kitchen yelling “Spit out the carrots Nemesis you don’t even like them that much!!” 

Whenever he eats alone he refers to it as a game of Russian roulette 

Bal refers to it as the reason he has high blood pressure

Because Bal and Ambrosius grew up in the limelight (for very different reasons) there are a million pictures of them through the years 

And they use those videos to bully the hell out of each other 

Bal can quote the video from the beginning of the movie not because it was an important moment in his childhood 

But because Ambrosius will quote it at the most random times throughout the day

Bal will do something small like kill a bug or chase out an animal that Nimona brought in

And he’ll hear Ambrosius mumble “I’m here to slay monsters and protect our kingdom”

He was a little worried Nimona would react badly to this habit but he started joining in 

One time he killed a spider and Ambrosius asks “Are you slaying monsters moonbeam?” Nimona yells from the other room “I’m so proud of him he’s truly protecting our kingdom” 

There are a million photos of baby Ambrosius on the internet 

And Bal made a PowerPoint presentation ranking their cuteness factor out of 10 (100 was the lowest score he got and it was a picture of him with the ugliest bowl cut you’ve ever seen)

And made Ambrosius sit through it 

That was the most loved and mortified he had felt in a long time

Nimona uses low-quality pictures of them as reaction photos 

There have been times when Nimona asks “Can we eat out tonight” and Bal tells her no and she sends him this 

He’ll text back “Is that my fucking wanted poster?!” 

She asked Ambrosius if there was any ice cream left and he said no he expected her to call him and complain he didn’t expect this 

He calls her yelling “When the fuck did that happen?!” 

And she hangs up immediately to let Bal deal with it

[halorvic]

"Do not let anyone convince you that you need to get sick to be healthy."

[chappellrroan]

internet has really fried people's brain so much that they can't even normally dislike something. fucking hell how are you going to advocate for everyone's right to live when you want someone dead for listening to a different artist

[fourquartertoast]

Before Wolfstar Got Together

Peter: wait, so Sirius, what's your sexuality? Sirius: uhhh Sirius: one sec Sirius: *turns to Remus* what gender do you identify as? Remus: *chewing on chocolate* the boy one Sirius: okay thx Sirius: *turns back to Peter* Sirius: gay. Remus: *chokes on chocolate*

[valtsv]

one thing about me is that i'm almost comically susceptible to reverse psychology. "ohh i bet you won't do it" i would kill and eat you without even stopping to think about it if you told me you didn't believe i could.

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Once an Afton fucker always an Afton fucker

speedpaint

[stealthywing]

Twinning

[curapicas]

Touden siblings and in-laws candidates be like

Laios: would be happy to have Shuro as a brother-in-law, always treated Marcille nicely and in postcanon is best friends with her

Falin:

[levshany]

My b-day parties be like

[sophiefoster942]

#Let sophie Elizabeth Foster stab someone in book ten

[the-three-whumpeteers]

The whumper would abandon the whumpee for long periods of time, depriving them of any human interaction and barely giving them the bare necessities. The whumpee didn’t mind at first, but hated how they were quickly growing desperate for that interaction.

[beatcroc]

homest[ar/uck] posting. this was meant to be supplementary to the gerome comic as him 'explaining the joke' but i uhhhhhh forgot.

i'm not much for crossovers in the the traditional sense, but it IS one of my favorite character exploration exercises to just go like 'if x media existed in this universe, who would and would not be a fan of it?'. and these ones are pretty notorious and always very fun to mess with for that and so here we are

[separatedleoau]

The stab situation on this ask was not literal, it was more on the lines of Leo being badly wounded and them taking care of him against his will bc the boy refuses to sit down

but we can make it happen!

*adds "stab Leo" to my notes*