#it’s about this brand new girl who has all sort of opinions

[goldenpinof]

curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

[huntunderironskies]

What’s your opinion of Deviants: The Renegades?

It's an absolutely fantastic game overall, I think it perfects the biggest thing that Chronicles of Darkness games try to do: emulating a very specific genre of monster media. In this case, it's obviously the "vengeful escaped lab experiment" thing and it really does a lot with it. The modularity of it means that it's super easy to go from a super gritty street level game to a globetrotting game dealing with a massive Conspiracy across the world. It's a kind of variety that's doable in other games but doesn't necessarily have the same mechanical support that Deviant gives.

(One of my "maybe I'll do this when I'm not taking several writing-intensive courses" things is trying to cross-apply its organization rules to things like werewolf packs, because IMO they work really well and it'd be nice to have one unified "big organization" system across all the games.)

All that said...I have to disagree with the popular line that it's the best introduction to Chronicles of Darkness. I love it but there's so much front-loading to the mechanics that I think you need a specific type of new player, someone who is very into mechanics and has that sort of very technical mindset where you like tinkering with numbers. My general experience is that if there's a ton of crunch thrown at a player right away, especially if they're brand new to TTRPGs, it ends up being really confusing and just trying to make a character is a bit of an affair. It takes a lot of fussing to make a character myself despite having that sort of mindset, and even then there's some frustrating moments where I can't really pull off what I want to (biggest one I can think of: I have a character where a logical consequence of her Divergence would be that she develops a specific seizure disorder...which I can't really emulate with the existing Scar rules, and that feels like an odd oversight.) It might be because I really hate book-balancing, haha. I also don't think it's quite as good of a build-any-monster system as people say it is just because of how involved it is. I wouldn't use it to make any single-arc antagonist, to put it one way.

None of this is a knock against what the game actually does, I just think people tend to advertise it wrong. If you've been playing CofD for years you probably don't have as good of an idea as you might hope for what's actually accessible to a brand new player.

Complaints aside, I can't say how happy I am that there's finally a game that can convincingly emulate a Kamen Rider in Chronicles of Darkness without using the Horror rules. Trying to come up with rules for henshin heroes (please...don't talk to me about Princess, I don't think it really emulates the entire genre and henshin heroes aren't all magical girls, no offense to people who like it) was one of my off-again on-again projects for a few years and I never could come up with anything I was happy with. I can never complain about someone beating me to the punch and doing it better than I could, less work for me. :p

Oh, that and it sounds like we'll be getting rules appropriate for playing aliens! Aliens were another thing I always wanted to see in CofD because (outside of Mirrors) they'd never done a whole lot with scifi horror until very recently. You should've seen my reaction to the Mummies on Mars setting in MtC2e, and the Visitors on a similar note.

[thebroccolination]

Hey, just wanted to say that I'm really thankful to you for all the posts you've made about Krist so far

I didn't know him at all before BMF and only slowly "learned" about him through some people making snide comments about him before the show aired and people in the tags/comments then reiterating all the reasons why he's awful and should be cancelled with links to those standard "proof" compilation videos + posts and it's terrifyingly easy to get caught up in the hate spiral and the image it paints when that's all you hear about a person who at that point in time merely existed in the periphery of the fandoms you hung out in, especially if the people constantly spreading and reinforcing that image were people you used to really enjoy having on your dash. It made me apprehensive of the show before it even aired, which did both the show and Krist a terrible disservice

Your posts gave me a much more nuanced picture of him and the context within which the hatred got started and has kept persisting even now and it's really been a bit of an eye-opener regarding Fandom Discourse™️ and how it can influence your opinion of people you know nothing about even as you try to just mind your own business, possibly even thinking yourself somewhat immune to that sort of mindless cancel culture

I've made some adjustments to my dash and it has become a much kinder place for it now

I'm glad other people I follow also actively loved the show and posted about it and I'm glad you've been so vocal in talking about Krist as a person, it acted like an antidote to all of the vitriol that had one-sidedly poisoned my perception of him

Should it have been necessary? Probably not but that's not what this is about. Sometimes all it takes is one person speaking up and telling you to fact-check your blind bias and it really matters, especially when things have been taken out of context and twisted and amplified as much as was done with him. Thank you for unknowingly being that person for me, I truly appreciate it

Oh, Anon. :')

Thank you so much. I've teared up reading this, and it just makes me so happy to know I've done something small to change hearts.

When I became a fan in June of 2020, I barely knew him. I'd binge-watched SOTUS in May, and the hate went supernova shortly thereafter. I'd just been so moved by his empathetic portrayal of Arthit, I was skeptical that he could be this Deeply Homophobic Bigot that people were painting him as. And honestly, when I saw the IG story the first time, I just thought it had been a half-joking exaggeration to a question that annoyed him and it landed poorly. It wasn't enough to convince me of anything.

Fortunately, because I'd done a watch thread for SOTUS, I'd made a bunch of friends in the Peraya fandom, and a good number of them were queer like me. So I went to them and asked what they knew. They explained the whole thing: that it was from years before, that because KristSingto were the ones who started the "First Wave" they'd put up with a whole higher and wilder level of scrutiny and obsession and homophobia. They told me Krist had had a relationship with a girl at the time, that she and her family, his family, his friends, everyone close to him was being spied on or investigated by people who Needed to Know if Krist was secretly dating Singto. (Later, I found out about the whole KristGun thing, that their friendship had been tested by similar prying and accusations and homophobia and possessiveness by the more unhinged fans of the Real Branded Pairs.)

With that much background, and knowing Krist couldn't have been more than 19 or 20 at the time, I said, "Oh," and figured most people would have the same reaction when they looked into it.

But instead, it got worse.

It was surreal to experience as a new fan. Krist's Thai fans were exhausted by these interfans showing up and baying for his blood in languages they couldn't communicate in, and Krist's interfans were protective of him and impatient with the interfans on Twitter who'd just clap back with "LMAO NOT YOU DEFENDING A HOMOPHOBE?????" and racking up hundreds of likes and retweets for dunking on Krist fans. Any time Krist posted, they'd flood him with cruel replies and QRTs, and I have to reiterate that, like, to get that amount of hatred in foreign languages must have been such a horrible feeling. People demanded he apologize, but he already had. Multiple times. He'd just done it in Thai.

Worse than that, I've been told by an older Peraya that when the IG story was first posted, Thai fans knew he wasn't homophobic, so it didn't blow up with them. It was interfans even back then who misinterpreted him. He did apologize, though, and unfortunately, the fandom was small enough that the only person who translated it was neither fluent in English nor Thai. Apparently he said something like, "I was raised in the genre of Y series, and it's my home, and one I'm deeply proud of, so I'd never harbor any kind of bigotry like that," but the person's language ability limited what they were able to understand and translate, so they posted something like, "I'm a BL actor so of course I'm not homophobic," and of course interfans at the time only redoubled their attacks on him. "He thinks he can't be homophobic just because he was in BL!?" That kind of thing.

And when people have pushed back on the IG story, I've seen people just make bad faith interpretations of Krist's intentions in other scenarios. Like when he and Gawin were watching their sweet scenes in Be My Favorite, Krist hid behind Gawin's shoulder during their kiss scene, and there was a brief but enthusiastic wave of, "SEE HE CAN'T WATCH TWO MEN KISS." Even though…he was one of them?

The people who say, "He was jobless so he came back to BL," when he rarely has a day off, the people who say, "He was poor so he came back to BL," when BL doesn't pay well and Krist bought a house and supports his entire family off the money he makes doing other work. The music shows he co-hosts have higher ratings than literally any GMMTV BL series. They get something like 2.0 where the average GMMTV BL series gets 0.2.

I know it takes time and patience and resources to learn all of this, and I don't expect everyone to do the amount of research I have. I love him, so it's a pleasure and not a pain to spend time learning who Krist Perawat is. All I've ever wanted by talking about him and sharing more about him is to help lessen the hate he gets. He truly, truly doesn't deserve it, and he never has.

Like, Aof recently posted a GMMTV job listing to Facebook and one of the requirements was that you be a woman or LGBTQ+. I think the only way you'd remain employed in GMMTV with that level of community support if you were homophobic is if your family is well-connected or wealthy. Krist famously cleared his family's debt with the meteoric popularity of SOTUS, so he does not come from money, privilege, or connections. Arguably the one thing he had going for him when he was auditioning for SOTUS apart from his acting talent was his ability to Be Pale if he avoided the sun long enough. (Colorism, alive and thriving.)

So, so many of his friends are queer. His close friends. Not just random people he posts in his stories for clout or to Clear His Name or whatever. These are people who cuddle him and call him their son and speak of him with true knowledge of his faults and his virtues and love him deeply. People dismiss this as, "OH SO HE 'HAS QUEER FRIENDS' LOL OKAY SOUNDS LEGIT," but again, you have to look at the depth of these friendships. Oat has been with Krist since SOTUS. He "adopted" Gawin on the strength of how close Gawin got to Krist over the past year.

As far as I know, Krist has never made his sexuality public knowledge. What he has said (apart from the IG story, which, y'know, wasn't super nuanced) is that he doesn't care how people perceive his sexuality, and that if he ever dates someone of the same gender, he'll be open with the relationship because he wants his fans to know that side of his life and the person he loves—no matter their gender.

I see a lot of people saying, "Oh, he was homophobic, but he's better now," but from everything I've ever seen, I just don't believe it. At best, he was clumsy with how he expressed himself, which is understandable because he was nineteen or twenty and I'm sorry to be Like This but it is rare that you find an Overnight Famous Twenty-Year-Old Guy Without Media Training who's going to know how to communicate his feelings about being constantly harassed to the point where his girlfriend breaks up with him and he's bombarded with questions in multiple languages by fans around the world about his sex life with his senior and costar.

(I got to this point and was like, "I should add some photos so this isn't just a block of text.)

He's not homophobic, he never was. He's just a dude who loves his cats, is really good at acting and drumming and singing and causing chaos, is the beloved baby brother of PeBaCa, and wants more than anything to take care of his family.

Okay, I'm done.

Thank you again, Anon. The more I learn about him, the fonder I get of him, and it's harder and harder to stay quiet about how frustrating it is to see him get so much vitriol. I'm so happy you told me. Thank you, really. <3

……………

Okay.

I have to end this tangent on a positive note.

GMMTV, give me a KristGun series I'm so serious or I'll throw durians through every single one of your windows.

[unchataparis]

Danse du Diamant Masqué

Liladrien Week 2024 | Day Five: Incognito

Béyonce asked the most socially relevant question of their generation: what’s worse? Looking jealous or crazy?

Of course, Queen Bey doesn’t really have a leg to stand on taking Jay-Z back after making all that fuss about his cheating, it doesn’t really teach him a lesson, no? In Lila’s experience, people don’t learn unless they’re punished or suffers some kind of retribution for their crimes. Even the kindest, most well-intentioned people still fuck up when they’re not taught properly, and who can blame them? We’re social creatures, bred to survive in societies, and how can we learn if our society continues to accept us again and again no matter what we do?

Men have it so easy. They can do whatever they want, break however many hearts, dispose of however many girls, and their statuses as mummy and daddy’s shiny perfect example of human perfection will never fade. Men can do whatever they want to their wives as long as they keep earning money, and everything will be seen as A-OK.

Paris’ Diamonds’ Dance is the most inane gala of its sort that Lila has seen. She had attended such events back in Milan and especially in the US – oh, those Americans were crazy about ostentatious displays of wealth –  except they called those what they were, jamborees and debutante balls, instead of this masquerade bullshit.

The venue is nice, Lila has to admit, and so is the catering. The techno-bass music is pushing it, through. What happened to good, ol’ classic Mozart?

White, as far as Lila can see, glossy marble tiles and reflective mirror ceilings and glittering ivory tables. Teenagers ranging from age twelve to eighteen meanderingand mingling on the monotonous disco dance floor, dressed in an array of blank couture.

The rule is that they could not represent brands, they cannot wear any shade apart from white. This is a serious , very important social occasion, after all, and not an opportunity to push the latest collection of whatever luxury fashion house they’re the brand ambassadors of. But that doesn’t prevent the attendees from showing up in the most outlandish garbs while following attire rules.

A girl ahead of Lila is dressed like a petunia flower, great big sails of ivory, crimp-edged fabric jutting from her rear and hips. Her friend whom she is talking to has a train nearly two metres long, flowing down her back like a cotton waterfall, which she has gathered up and is carrying in her arms after too many people had trodded on it by accident. Lila suspects that the decision was inspired by economic means as well as trying to prevent the foot-shaped stains from showing. A boy, who has tried to ask Lila to dance until she picked up his intentions and repelled him through the disdainful force of her glare alone, dons a top hat and a tailcoat, and is practising his pick-up artistry on two new victims. The most well-dressed person on the floor, in Lila’s opinion, is the man currently sampling from the buffet table, whose wool suit and iridescent coat are so uncomplicated as to be ethereal. But even he couldn’t compare to the King of the ball.

Ah – Lila feels like such a poor Cinderella, with none of the influence and the riches of her peers. Her dress isn’t haute couture, just a slinky, littlecream number she picked up from Ferragamo hours before the event and she did her own make-up.

An entire army of stylists and designers probably sweated over Tsurugi Kagami, her preparation probably started a week ago, with facials and massages and manicures, until she resembles a perfect scarlet icicle.

She sits there at the top of the podium in the ballroom, the only colour represented , a drop of blood in a glass of milk. Swathed in a scarlet kimono, her hair is pinned back by chrysanthemum pins and her lips are such a juicy cherry red, Lila would kiss them herself if Adrien doesn’t .

Adrien, right beside her, in an immaculate, tailored suit and satin tie. He appears almost simple, but of course when you look like Adrien Agreste, nothing is ever simple on you. They’re effortless, celestial, phenomenal. With golden hair and blond lashes the length of Lila’s badly-paintedfingernails and glass skin, Adrien could be twiddling his thumbs there in a white T-shirt for all anyone cares and he’ll still outshine the entire floor. 

FYI, the man with the wool suit and the iridescent coat is the best dressed. Not the best looking.

Read the rest on Ao3 here.

[litgwritersroom]

One in a Million

S4 | Bruno/MC, Youcef/MC | 3800+ words | @tammyisobsessedwith

Best friends Bruno and Youcef meet up only to discover the girl's they're seeing have a lot of suspicious things in common...

Written for Suzi's bday 💕

The afternoon sun glinted off the door when Bruno walked into the pub, a nearly perceptible spring in his steps matching the wide smile on his face, both obvious signs to even the most casual of observers as to his general good mood ─ not that that would be an uncommon sight. After all, one would usually count on Bruno Kaminski to have a smile on his lips and a joke at the tip of his tongue.

The man sitting at one of the high tables in the back was more observant than most and he also had the added bonus of being one of Bruno’s best friends, so his eyes tracked his progress towards him with interest. While it was true that he could always expect the comedian to present to the world his rather goofy and sunny disposition on any given day, it seemed there was something else behind the energy surrounding him today.

“Youcef, my boy!” Bruno greeted him with a huge grin, clapping a hand warmly on his shoulder before taking the seat opposite him.

His friend merely raised an eyebrow back at him, a barely-there smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Boy? You do remember I’m two years older than you, yes?”

“Alright, my good sir. Excuse-moi, monsieur.” Bruno said gamely in an exaggerated French accent.

“Although many people would be hard pressed to know it, as I’m obviously far more mature.” Youcef rolled his eyes gently before bringing his glass of sparkling water up to his lips.

“Mate, don’t start on me with the whole grumpy Frenchman routine already,” Bruno said dismissively with a laugh even as he signalled a waitress over.

“Why not?” He challenged, his voice soft and a gleam visible in his dark eyes. “You’re obviously about to get into your bad comedian routine.”

“Oh-ho-ho, touché.” Bruno made a silly sort of half curtsy before he turned to the waitress who approached their table.

Youcef watched him indulgently with a small smile even as his friend joked easily with the waitress before placing his order. The pub was one of Bruno’s favourite dives, not really the sort of place that Youcef would frequent these days, but he always made an exception for him whenever their busy schedules would align and they had time to meet in person. He supposed that for someone watching them without any context they made an interesting duo, one so unlike the other ─ Youcef with his carefully bleached and coiffed hair and obviously expensive yet subdued clothes, Bruno with his colourful patterned shirt and blow-dried hair with the ridiculous (in Youcef’s opinion) frosted tips. 

And it was true that they might have never met if it wasn’t for the fact that they had the same agent, Valentina Castillo, who had introduced them during an event that her PR firm had organised a few years before. Despite having such different personalities and against all odds the two of them had become fast friends.

“So tell me, mon cher.” Youcef said once the waitress had left their table. “What has put you in such a good mood hmm?”

“Life is good, my friend!” Bruno said cheerfully. “I’m halfway through my tour and most dates are sold out. There’s a couple of interviews scheduled for next month and I’m also itching to try out some new material at the clubs when it all winds down.”

“I’m happy for you.” Youcef told him with a quiet and sincere smile. He knew how much Bruno had dedicated to his craft in the last few years and how he was sowing all the rewards of his hard work. “You deserve all the good things coming your way. Although it does make me fear for the state of Britain’s collective sense of humour.” He added the last jab with an obvious teasing smirk.

Bruno took no offence at the words and simply gave him a wide grin in return, as after many years he knew that Youcef’s teasing, dry humour was his own brand of love language. 

“Yeah, things seem to be going so well. Almost too well.” He said, his eyes darting away and a small sigh escaping.

“Oh?” Youcef merely intoned, raising an eyebrow at him before taking another sip from his glass.

Bruno’s light blue eyes darted back to him and he seemed to try to suppress the smile overcoming his lips before giving up on that losing battle. “Yeah. So I met a girl. And mate, I swear, I think I’m in love.”

The French man couldn’t help the small, low chuckle that escaped and the slight shake of his head at hearing those words. Bruno himself couldn’t stop his own laughter as he looked back at him. Right then the waitress breezed by and put a pint of beer before him and the two just enjoyed a moment as they silently clicked their glasses and sipped their drinks.

Youcef didn’t doubt what his friend said, although he would debate that between the two of them they had very different definitions of ‘falling in love’. For as long as he’d known him, he saw Bruno falling in love almost as easily as breathing. A cute girl at the crowd watching his set, a salesgirl at a store when they went shopping together, a new assistant in the PR team handling his affairs, a bartender at a club when they’d go out, one of Youcef’s model friends when he’d come out to watch one of his fashion shows. Bruno just wore his heart on his sleeve and the poor little thing would flutter in excitement, never worrying if his hopes and dreams were about to be smashed to pieces before anything had even really happened.

Which was the complete opposite of how Youcef would go about things. Ever since Camille, he’d hide behind his armour of smouldering good looks, high fashion clothes and lavish lifestyle, easily engaging others in physical intimacy while keeping his heart hidden behind locked doors and avoiding any type of real, heartfelt intimacy. Well, at least that was what he’d been doing in the last few years until…

Anyway, he shook his head to get out of his own thoughts and focus back on his friend. He could see Bruno was bursting to share the story with him and Youcef should have time to tell his own tale later. “Tell me all about it. Have you actually gone out with her yet?”

“Oh ha ha.” Bruno replied easily, a sardonic eyebrow raised, but his lips still sported a smile. “Yeah, I know you’re always making fun of me for my ‘love at first sight’ tendencies and how I say I’m in love with a different girl every week, but I’ll have you know I’ve actually been going out with her for two months now.”

“Really?” Youcef asked, watching him with interest, as it seemed like this time there was something substantial behind the words his friend would usually throw out rather carelessly.

“Yeah,” Bruno replied, his eyes and smile sparkling. “We both have busy schedules, so it gets tricky but we meet up every chance we get. When I’m on the road we just chat for hours on the phone after I’m done with my set and honestly… I’ve never felt like this before.” He said, a happy sigh escaping his lips, a serene, contented expression taking over his features.

“That sounds great.” Youcef gave him a small smile back. “How did you two meet?”

“She pulled me up for a chat after one of my sets at the stand up club.” Bruno explained. “At first I couldn’t believe she was really into me, she’s just so bloody gorgeous! And she’s smart, too. Way too smart for me. Went to Oxford and now works as a manager at a big pharma company.”

“Oh?” Youcef merely said, one eyebrow twitching up momentarily. Something stirred deep down in his stomach as he heard those words, but surely they wouldn’t mean anything? Lots of people went to Oxford and worked at pharma companies in the city.

“Yeah, I know, not the type of girl you’d think would be into me, right?” Bruno said easily with a smile. “But she’s genuinely one of the nicest girls I’ve ever met. We can chat about anything for hours. And she could give your model friends a run for their money, too! Picture this: light tanned skin, deep blue eyes that shine brightly like sapphires, golden hair as smooth as silk.” He said in an exaggerated tone, making wide hand gestures as his description veered into waxing poetic territory before continuing in a less joking tone.

“She even got a beauty spot near the corner of her eye that makes her look like those golden age movie stars. She’s about 5’7 with legs that go on for days and her hips…” He let out a breathy sort of chuckle as he shook his head a little. “I don’t wanna get crass, but man, her hips drive me crazy.”

“Sounds like a real bombshell.” Youcef commented softly, a barely visible frown forming a line between his eyebrows. The more he heard about this girl, the more he felt like an unpleasant feeling was spreading throughout his body, but he didn’t think his friend had noticed anything strange in his demeanour so far.

“Tell me about it!” Bruno said with another light laugh. “She’s always dressed to perfection when we go out, I can’t believe she’s willing to be seen in public with an idiot like me.” He chuckled in that self-deprecating manner that was a signature part of his humour. “But to be honest my favourite look is when she’s at home just lounging about, her hair up in a messy bun. I feel like no one else gets to see her just like that, you know? So relaxed as she just scrolls through her phone, biting on her lip and running a finger on the pendant with the letter S on the golden chain around her neck. I swear, she never takes it off, it’s almost like a part of her, like the tattoo she has on her ribs of the moon and stars that she got— "

“─after her name.” Youcef completed the thought before he could stop himself, the two of them speaking the words in unison.

“Yeah,” Bruno said, giving him a somewhat amused and confused frown. “How did you know? What, did you become a mind reader since we last saw each other?”

Youcef just stared back at his friend for a moment, unsure of what to do. “Merde,” he murmured softly under his breath before taking a sip as he avoided his eyes. As the glass hit the table with a dull thud, his fingers slipped into his pocket and he pulled out his phone. “I can’t believe this is happening, but…”

He could feel Bruno’s eyes watching him in confusion and Youcef swallowed with difficulty before turning his phone over and showing him something on the screen. He could see the moment realisation dawned on him, but a part of his friend was still confused as his mouth hung slightly open and he pointed a finger at him. “Hey, that’s my…” Bruno’s voice trailed off, his brow furrowing. “Youcef, why do you have a picture of my girlfriend on your phone?”

“I swear to you on my life, mon ami, I had no idea.” Youcef said, his voice coming out softly but his eyes were shining earnestly. “I met her a couple of months ago at an after-party for a fashion show and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bruno said, his voice deadpan and still considerably calm despite his words. “So my girl and my best friend…”

“She never said she was seeing anyone else.” Youcef was quick to say, rather defensively. “In fact, I remember her specifically saying she was single when she approached me, asking if she could buy me a drink.”

Bruno blinked dazedly at him for a moment. “That’s the same thing that happened to me.” He paused and saw his friend just nodding back at him. “She’s been playing us both.”

“It would appear it is so, yes.” Youcef said with a long sigh.

“Oh man…” Bruno whispered, leaning back on his chair and running his hands over his face. His fingers went into his hair and he avoided his friend’s eyes for a moment before asking. “Was it just like a casual sex thing or…?” He trailed off with a shrug, as he knew most of Youcef’s relationships tended to be like that.

“I…” Youcef said, his mouth hanging open for a moment as he debated on how to answer this, but he’d always been brutally honest to a fault and it wouldn’t do to lie now, even if a part of him wished it weren’t true, if only to protect his friend. But he also knew Bruno had a tendency to forgive too easily and he deserved to know the truth. “Honestly? No, not for me. And up until now I had thought not for her, either.”

“Shit.” He closed his eyes and hung his head for a moment. “I really thought she was the one, y’know? Well, what are the odds?” He said with a smile that somehow managed to be sardonic, rueful and heartbreaking at the same time.

“Most unlikely.” Youcef said quietly, his lips pressed on a thin line.

“I guess this is it, then.” Bruno let out a long-suffering sigh and shook his head. “I knew this was too good to be true. She was like one in a million.”

They remained in silence for a few moments, just sipping their drinks as the shock washed over them. “What are you going to do about it?” Youcef asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bruno shot him a look, the corner of his lips turning up in a rather humourless smirk now. “Well, seeing as the ground still hasn’t opened up to swallow me whole, I guess I’ll have to do all the legwork myself and just… disappear?” He finished with a shrug.

“What?” Youcef asked sharply, a frown marked between his eyebrows. “Why should you have to hide away?”

“Uh, to spare myself from the pain and utter humiliation?” The comedian raised an eyebrow at him as if that should’ve been obvious. “I mean, I know I joke a lot about this kind of stuff on stage, but even for me this is a bit too much.”

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not the one who did anything wrong.” Youcef insisted in a firm tone. “In fact, we should both confront her and say our piece.”

“Hard pass.” Bruno retorted promptly, his words coming out along a short bark of laughter. “Hi, have you met me? I’m the least confrontational person, ever.”

“And you know I don’t suffer fools gladly.” The French model insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I believe in honesty and openness, and what she did to the both of us is… detestable.” He said, a sneer forming on his lips. “She should at least hear that we figured her out and will no longer be pawns in her game.”

“Oh man.” Bruno whispered, looking up for a moment as if asking for strength from some deity above before running one hand over his face and looking back at his friend. “Yeah, I know, you’re right. Fuck. How do we do this?”

Youcef’s sneer morphed seamlessly into a smirk then. “When we made plans to meet today, you mentioned you were coming back into town earlier than planned. Does she know?”

Bruno shook his head. “No, I was gonna surprise her later.”

“Well, we can still do that.” His friend said, a gleam visible in his dark eyes. “I’ve been texting her and we had arranged for a dinner date tonight. How about you join us hmm?” He suggested with a raised eyebrow.

Slowly, a smirk also took form on Bruno’s lips and he nodded back.

They made the arrangements and parted ways to get ready for the night and to put their plan into action. Normally Youcef would make a point to pick her up if they were going out, but he made an excuse of a last minute meeting with his manager and said he’d meet her at the restaurant. She agreed to it quite easily, unsuspecting that anything was amiss.

That night, the two friends were sitting at the bar in the lounge area of one of Youcef’s favourite restaurants, watching the entrance avidly until they saw her walking in through the front door. Youcef could see the pang of pain cross on Bruno’s face as they just observed her for a moment. She did look quite exquisite, golden hair pinned up and a few loose strands elegantly framing her face, the golden chain with the delicate S pendant gleaming just above her modest cleavage, her hips swaying tantalisingly as her dress swished around her legs, the deep blue of its fabric no doubt highlighting her bright sapphire eyes.

She went straight to the maitre’d who had been instructed to lead her to a secluded table on the back near the window. Both men looked at each other and traded a nod before downing their drinks and Youcef pushed off against the bar, heading towards her first.

“Youcef, darling.” She said, a dazzling smile forming on her full lips as she saw him appear suddenly before her.

“Bonsoir, bébé.” He said smoothly, leaning in and kissing both her cheeks before taking a seat in front of her. “My apologies for meeting you straight here. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

“No, not at all. It was perfect timing, I just got here.” She said with an easy smile, reaching across the table to take his hand.

“Good.” He said, his smile sharp. “I hope you don’t mind, I ran into a friend at my meeting and invited him to join us.”

He looked up just as Bruno approached them, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trousers, looking like the very picture of casual coolness despite how nervous he had been earlier. She looked up as well, her eyes widening a little as he stood next to their table.

“Hello.” Bruno said with a smile, his voice somehow coming out way smoother than they’d expected.

“Oh.” She said a little breathlessly, blinking up at him for a moment. “This is your friend?” She glanced at Youcef before reaching her hand towards Bruno. “I think I know you. The comedian, Bruno Kaminski, right?”

Youcef let out a loud, humourless laugh then, drawing attention to himself. “Ah chérie. Are you seriously attempting to say you don’t know him?”

She looked back at him with a frown, withdrawing her hand as Bruno never reached for it. “Well, I know who he is, but I’d never met him before.”

“Really?” Bruno scoffed in disbelief. “You’re gonna keep denying it even now?”

“I swear, I don’t know what you’re─”

“Hey! There you are, you dropped your phone in the cab—"

The three of them looked up as another person approached their table, hand outstretched with a phone in her hand and suddenly they were all frozen in place. Bruno did a comical double take as the woman drawing closer to them was the exact spitting image of the one sitting down at the table, only this one had her blonde hair cascading in gentle waves down her shoulders and she was wearing a business casual black dress.

“Bruno?” She said, brow furrowing as she realised he was standing next to her. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” Bruno repeated in an utterly befuddled state. “I think I might be having a stroke, that’s what. Am I seeing double or, or — what in the world is going on?” He said, reaching for a chair and shakily sitting down.

“Wait, you thought—" The woman sitting at the chair said, interrupting herself as she pointed from Youcef to Bruno before both women looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Bruno, this is my sister, Selena.” The woman standing said, once their laughter had subsided, gesturing from the man still sitting in apoplectic shock towards the woman who was sitting down.

“And Youcef, this is my sister, Stella.” The one who had been introduced as Selena gestured from the French man towards the woman standing next to her.

“What?” Bruno said rather dumbly while Youcef could only raise both his eyebrows as he took them in. “I mean… What?”

“Twin sisters?” Youcef asked, his soft voice not quite masking the shock he was in.

“Yes.” The women said in unison, smiling and nodding at them.

“But your uni, your job, the necklace, the tattoo—" Bruno said, still spluttering in disbelief.

“Yes, we went to the same uni and work at the same pharma company now. I’m a product manager in the marketing department.” Selena said, still with a smile before gesturing with a hand at her sister. “Stella is a project manager in the clinical research department.”

“And we got matching necklaces for our 18th birthday, then we got the same tattoo on our ribs to represent our names.” Stella picked up on the explanation. “Moon and stars? Selena and Stella?”

“Mon Dieu,” Youcef whispered, still a little dazed but shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. “This is quite unbelievable.”

“No shit,” Bruno muttered under his breath. “I mean, what are the odds?” He said, before his eyes found Youcef’s and they both burst into laughter.

A little while later the four of them were sitting at the table, laughing together and having drinks after placing their dinner order.

“I remember you said your sister was your best friend,” Bruno commented, a smile etched on his lips and he shook his head a little as he held Stella’s hand over the table. “But you never said she was your identical twin sister.”

“I’m sorry,” Stella said, laughter in her voice as she squeezed his hand. “I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I really thought I had mentioned it.”

“Well, I’m really glad this whole thing turned out to be nothing but a huge misunderstanding.” Bruno said, his clear blue eyes sparkling as he looked back at his girlfriend.

“Despite the confusion, it’s actually great that we happen to be dating two guys that are already best friends.” Selena said with a smile, glancing from her sister to Youcef.

“It certainly leads to less chance of having awkward double dates or family functions.” Youcef said with a nod, bringing Selena’s hand up to press a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

“I wasn’t even thinking about all of that,” Bruno said, a huge grin on his face. “You two have just given me the best material of my life.”

They all laughed at his remark, raising their glasses to toast to the future set of jokes he’d get to tell on stage and thankful that in the end everything had worked out perfectly for all of them.

[piss-bong]

just curious why are you anti green brothers? i’ve only heard good things about them and i havent heard much of the other side of things, so i want to try and get the full picture before making any judgements

Short answer is they're capitalists.

Long answer is it's mainly because they're capitalists (seriously, get a load of this shit) who center a large part of their personal brand around a goal to enact positive change in the world while only loosely defining what that change is, and only enacting it by raising money for any of their million different nonprofits and making themselves richer in the process. They're bad for the same reasons Bill Gates is bad despite pledging to give away all his money or whatever. Nonprofits really aren't fucking great to begin with, and they have a lot of them.

There's also the assault allegations that happened on youtube in 2014 and their responses to said allegations, which weren't exactly great and kinda just completely shirked responsibility for their role in what took place. I know that they did take some measures to make vidcon and other irl events safer, but there's a reason vidcon isn't happening anymore.

Also, the way they tend to get really fuckin weird when responding to any sort of criticism.

Plus, John has just,, said and done some shitty things in the past, and most of this I'd be willing to let slide under "they were younger and I'm sure they've grown since then," but it's pretty obvious that his bad opinions definitely bleed into his writing, and it's kind of concerning when his target audience is teenage girls.

Not to mention, they position themselves as science educators when neither of them have degrees in science or education. I know they work with people who do, but sometimes their "educational content" is just fucking capitalist propaganda. (edit: turns out hank actually does have a STEM degree, but that doesn't change the fact that the "education" they're providing is just thinly-veiled propaganda)

Also not to be demeaning but,, it's obvious you're new here bc we have a long history of hating these guys. Here's a reddit post about the time we bullied john off the site.

If you wanna listen to a podcast, Big Soy Naturals has two episodes about them. I pulled some of these sources from there and they definitely cover the topic a lot more in-dept than I can in a tumblr post.

[longtimewish]

Ok I'm half wat through the Lockwood and co show and I have Opinions. I've read the first four books of the saga (gonna start the final one after I finish my current reading) and I loved them so I do have a bias against changes in the adaptation, I won't deny it. Still, I had hopes for the show since the books are very adaptation friendly. So here are my thoughts on the first four episodes. Spoilers ahead!

Episodes 1-3 aka The Screaming Staircase adaptation

- Ok the guy who plays Lockwood? Literally perfect casting. He's EXACTLY how I imagine him when I read the books: acting all charming and mature, always trying to be in control and yet you look at him and you can tell that he's just a teen boy. He completely nailed the character.

- First disappointment: how the ghosts look like. Stroud created a lore with dozens of different looking ghosts and they went with CGI transparent smokey shadows??? Personally I would've love if they used make up and practical effects for the ghost, with CGI only for the action parts.

- The first Big Adaptation Change: Lucy's backstory. I have encountered feelings with this one. I understand why they thought the changes were needed, but I feel that these changes also unavoidably change Lucy's entire characterization. She was mostly just distant towards her mother and sisters in the books, here she has a physically and emotionally abusive mother. She had a borderline irrational dislikeness towards girls in the books, here she has a female best friend. And here is the thing: I wasn't crazy about Lucy in the first book. I thought she was a good protagonist and I was rooting for her, but her Not Like The Other Girls moments were both annoying and frustrating. So as I said, I understand why they thought that it was better to change that aspect of Lucy's character, I didn't like it either. But this will also take away seeing Lucy grow up as a person and leave this mentality behind, which we obviously won't have in the show. I just have no idea what to think of Lucy here, because she feels like a brand new character.

- Speaking of Lucy's characterization, I'm not a fan either of her wearing make up and nice outfits. My girl is a mess who only sometimes brushes her hair and proudly dresses like a 2005 Disney sitcom star. Also the make up ages up Ruby Stokes and it becomes a bit hard to suspend my disbelief and buy that she's sixteen.

- Why did they cut out that Lockwood got ghost-touched in the first mission? I actually went back to read that part because I couldn't believe it didn't make it to the show. What better way to show us why ghosts are dangerous and how they can kill people than that?

-My feelings towards George are way less conflicted. I love that he's played by an actor of color (love the books but they def need a bit more of diversity), I love that he is very neurodivergent-coded, and I love that neither of this things make him drastically different to his book counterpart. He is still the sarcastic, intelectual boy that loves researching and experimenting (though we don't actually see any of his experiments on screen, sadly). But George is described as being fat more than once in the books. It's like producers think that there's some sort of limit to diversity, like yes you can have a poc George but he can't also be fat, that's just too much. Which I just find frustrating. Still I like the actor and I think he nailed the role too.

- I find it SO WEIRD that they curse here. On the one hand it took me by surprise because they never do so in the books, but on the other hand well given the life threatening situations they live daily why wouldn't they curse? Anyway let George say fuck.

- Same goes with the drinking why they have beers my kids only drink tea!!

- Speaking of kids, where are the night watch kids? Actually, where are the kids at all? I'm writing this four episodes into the show and no child has appeared, which is odd given that adults using and putting at risk the lives of literal children, many which are in need, is a huge theme in the story.

- Ok so here's the thing: at some point while I was reading the books I realized that I'm weirdly in love with Kipps, probably a combination of him being the only character of my age in the whole saga and his midlife crisis being kinda relatable. So all that is to say that I approve the casting choice and that I watch his scenes very respectfully.

- It annoys me that the characters are so open and argue all the time, specially Lucy and Lockwood. It feels ooc, they're too emotionally repressed for that in the books lol, they just bottled up their feeling and never talk about it until they're in literal danger of dying.

- I think that overall the first two episodes adapted the book pretty nicely in terms of pacing (even if I wasn't crazy about some choices) but they kinda dropped the ball hard on the third one. Like in the book the whole sequence of them in the house is quite creepy and you genuinely fear for their lives - even when you know that this is only the first installment and obviously nothing bad will happen to them. But I just wasn't feeling it in the show? Like there was no build up to the mystery! No emotion in the reveal! The conflict with DEPRAC was portrayed as being more threatening than Fairfax literally trying to kill them!! It all just happened super fast. My guess is that they just wanted to get done with the first book quickly so they could move on to the more character driven plot lines of the second book but honestly it was disappointing.

- I feel that someone on Netflix should go to jail for cutting out the scene at the end of The Screaming Staircase of Lucy hearing Lockwood's laugh from the kitchen and suddenly feeling sad because she wasn't in the room laughing with him.

Episode 4 aka first episode of The Whispering Skull adaptation

- So they're not doing the half-year time skip of the book. Good decision, it would be bothersome for the audience to suddenly have a huge batch of time off-screened not even half-way into the show.

- Seriously WHERE ARE THE KIDS??? I was looking forward the rude night watch boy and he was nowhere to be seen.

- You know I was conflicted about the changes so far but none of them made me actually mad. Untill the scene Lucy tells Lockwood and George that the Skull talked to her. That scene made me angry. Lockwood and George would NEVER treat Lucy as if she was insane. They would NEVER call her a liar. This is how Lockwood and George reacted: "Lockwood and George, when I told them about my encounter, had reacted at first with vast excitement. They raced to the basement, took out the jar and swung the lever; the face in the jar said nothing." They immediately believed her and trusted her. They all tried to make the Skull talk again right away. That whole argument was so out of character for everyone that I had to fight the urge to skip the scene altogether.

- But then they immediately give me Lockwood tenderly treating Lucy's wounds and I can't be mad any longer. Lowkey jealous of show only folks that get this kind of moment so early into the story, we book readers had to go through literal hundred of pages of the slowest of burns to get to the "we held hands longer than necessary and now we are embarrased and can't even look in the eye despite the fact that deep down we want to continue holding hands" awkward moment.

- Kipps having beef with literal teenagers is so funny like sir what are you doing you're in your twenties!! He's so pathetic I love him.

I know I focused too much on the negatives but so far I do not think this is a bad adaptation, in fact it's better than others that have come out recently (Netflix's The Empress gave me unreparable damage). I think the leads have great chemistry, I love how many scenes are straight out of the book, I love how well they captured the vibe of the world building. The team behind the show seems to have real respect for the source material, something that sadly is lacking in more popular adaptations. I'm being picky, I know it. If I had to boil down my criticism my main problem is that the adaptation seems to be lacking of the subtlety of the books. It really does annoy me that the character talk about their feelings all the time. We know what the characters are going through not because we can deduce it from their actions, but because they explicitly tells us what they feel. And they tell this to each other! Which changes a lot the early dynamic of the group, and the main conflict of Lockwood being a mystery because he doesn't want to open up about what he feels. I don't want Lockwood to say that he doesn't want to talk about his past because it's hard for him, I want Lockwood actively avoiding at all cost to talk about his past. I just don't like being explained everything word by word as if I wouldn't be able to understand what's going on with the characters otherwise.

My second problem would be Whatever Is Going On with Lucy's characterization, but I'm going to finish the show first before giving a final verdict on this.

All in all it was a solid 7/10 for me, I had fun watching it and I think there is potential for the show to be even better, even if some of the adaptation decisions were frustrating and made me want to shake one or two Netflix producers.

[mia-talks-toons]

(S1E3) The Owl House: How Companies Disrespect Animated Shows

A relatively new show to join the ranks of some of Disney’s BEST animated shows, The Owl House was created in 2020 by Dana Terrace, and is the last of the Disney Channel’s serialized cartoon shows (more on that later…). It follows the adventures of Luz Noceda, a regular teen girl, who was magically transported into another world, named the Boiling Isles, full of witches and (friendly) demons and all sorts of neat creatures. There, she trains with her mentor, Eda the Owl Lady (and a demon named King), on how to become a witch and use magic, even though she, as a human, has no natural magical powers of her own. The story is, in my opinion, extremely well done, and I fell in LOVE with every single character. The only issue is that it felt a liiiittle bit too short… And let me tell you why.

While the second season was airing, it was revealed that The Owl House would end prematurely, and the show’s third season, which was already planned out, would be shortened to three specials, instead of the usual 20ish 22-minute episodes a season would have. Many ideas had to be cut, and a lot of character development had to be shortened in the process. A lot of fans were sad, disappointed, and outright outraged, including me! Such an amazing show didn't deserve the short end of the stick. The question on most of the fandom’s mind was “Why?”, and Disney tried to answer.

Dana Terrace (The show’s creator) has gone on record saying that the show didn't fit the Disney "brand". She mentioned the fact that Disney TVA wanted to move away from serialized content, as it’s mostly older kids, teens, and adults who could keep up with those kinds of shows. The Disney Channel wanted to keep their target audience a tad younger, so that meant getting rid of shows with linear storylines and introducing more shows that you could jump into at any episode.

However, many fans have speculated that this was because the show contains a lot of queer themes and characters, and Disney has shown over and over again that even though they may seem progressive, they show many homophobic tendencies. Examples of this are removing gay scenes or characters from their movies when they’re released in homophobic countries, and boasting about their “first gay/lesbian/bi/trans character!!!” while only giving them a blink-and-you-miss-it moment that mentions their identity. Knowing this, it feels like Disney’s intentions were different than they lead us to believe.

No matter what the REAL reason was for the cancellation, I’m still extremely upset. If it’s for the anti-queer reason, it would hurt, as I grew up watching Disney movies and shows, and shortening a show because of characters who are LGBT, just like me, would frankly be offensive. But the other reason would hurt just as much. Animation is constantly referred to as a “children’s genre”, both by the general public and the film industry itself. Anyone older than mid-teens is often discouraged from watching animated shows and movies unless they’re specifically targeted at that demographic. Because of this, a lot of people are missing out on some really great stories and incredible visuals. My own mother made fun of me for preferring the animated Mulan movie to its abysmal 2020 live-action counterpart. I LOVE animation, and I feel like it’s constantly being mistreated by those who are meant to defend it. And that leads to beautiful pieces of art being, well, cancelled and shortened.

But hey, at least The Owl House got to properly end, right? Unlike some other shows…

[myersesque]

UM UM UM fav npmd song?

OH GOD HARDEST QUESTION YOU COULD'VE ASKED. i am notoriously indecisive and there is not a single skip in this whole tracklist BUT ALAS. I WILL TRY

ummm um um uh. i'm gonna have mercy on myself and make it a tie. i'm allowing myself a tie

nerdy prudes must die - i love a good villain song. the reveal of max's new costume/makeup (STUNNING btw, especially considering how stressful it must be do to makeup whilst a show is actively going on - doing a costume change between acts is nerve-wracking enough), will branner's endless charisma and stage presence (literally devastated he's new to starkid bc i need more of him NOW), and his and jon matteson's fucking gorgeous vocals... both the chorus and the "who will pray for me?" section are CONSTANTLY looping in my head. absolutely 500% deserving of title track status.

as cool as i think i am + reprise / if i loved you - i'm counting all 3 of these as one bc i honestly can't decide between them, and i love them all for the same reasons. acaitia is such a well-done establishing song for peter's worldview - both his perception of himself (and how that shifts and skews more positive as he psychs himself up) and his perception of steph (the "smarter than she thinks she is" line always gets me - he thinks so highly of her and is so respectful of her even this early on when they're still bickering, and it sets the foundations for how strong their relationship ends up becoming). it's also just really nice to have a nerd character as a protagonist who has some confidence and, whilst steph liking him certainly helps with that, his sense of self-worth isn't inherently tied to her, it's inherently tied to himself and how he lets himself exist (he's as cool as he thinks he is - if he allows himself to think he's cool, then he's cool - which also has an interesting sort of parallel to max's sue sylvester "you are what i say you are" philosophy). then of course the reprise is absolutely devastating (i have absolutely no shame in saying i was openly sobbing) and serves as such a good example of how things have changed throughout the story, especially in terms of his sense of identity and relationship with steph. then ofc if i loved you is just... SUCH a fun song about their dynamic, and how they both clearly adore each other but aren't willing to admit that until forced. "not saying what we mean, except we literally are, just backwards" is one of my fav kinds of song (also - it reminds me a bit of i could do without you from calamity jane, if that's anything).

the summoning - villain song, horrifically catchy, and the lords in black having their moment. the distorted background vocals, the childish way the lords present themselves contrasted with the heaviness of their song and the darkness of their lyrics ("stephanie has got a gun, tra-la-la-la, how fun!" - they're DELIGHTING in their suffering)... it's just really fuckin good. i also don't super mind the dialogue interrupting it since it's part of the pacing, and the lords breaking into song in the middle of a serious discussion feels very on brand for them

honourary mentions include literal monster (for similar reasons to as cool as i think i am, but for max's character instead - also, again, villain song) and hatchet town (i ADORE hatchetfield's ensemble-heavy songs, and i think this one sorta encapsulates the whole vibe of the series). i also have soft spots for dirty girl and go go nighthawks, but that's in more of a "this is REALLY fun" way than a "i have deep opinions abt these songs" way. obviously just for once is also devastating and a beautiful song that serves as a great demonstration of lauren lopez's skills but i'm trying not to say "every single song, actually"

...i realise i just listed 90% of the tracklist but i justified most of it??? so hopefully u at least got SOMETHING from this answer idk

[freddie-mercury-rising]

Day 23: Tenement Funster from Sheer Heart Attack

Rogah Taylah! 

Okay, I have to say, this could very well be in my top two of Roger Taylor songs. Well, we’ll see as we go along, but this one just is so freaking good. 

This is, in my opinion, but what do I know, very autobiographical of our lovely blond drummer. Who is he if not THE tenement funster. He was the little charming shithead of the neighborhood who could charm the pants off of people but also worry the balls off of them in the process. He was the doe-eyed, blond cherub who had a sharp mind and fiery wit. His poor mother! 

This song starts so freaking good, too, and it gives some sort of dark, or rebellious tone from the jump. Roger’s lyrics start, daring you to say anything about it. This is where the charming little ‘tenement funster’ is now an adolescent and he’s having lots of thoughts and challenging authority for the first time.

“My new purple shoes, been amazing the people next door. And my rock and roll 45s been enraging the folks on the lower floor.” 

This is youth in rebellion. This is ‘we are young, the world is ours, watch out.’

“I got a way with the girls on my block, try my best be a real individual.” 

He’s popular with the ladies, and it’s easy for him…but he’s craving more that his small town, or his small tenement, can offer. 

“Give me a good guitar. And you can say that my hair’s a disgrace. Oh, just find me an old car. I’ll make the speed of light out of this place.” 

This guy will take your bullshit, as long as you let him rock. He’ll take it only so long, though…until he’s able to get the fuck out. Then, you’ll never hear from him again.

“I like the good things in life. But most of the best things ain’t free.”

Hey, we can relate to dreaming of all the best things…but knowing that your current situation ain’t gonna provide you with those things…it’s a daunting feeling. 

“It’s the same situation, just cuts like a knife, when you’re young and you’re poor and you’re crazy…” (young and you’re crazzyyy)

Here’s that hopelessness of being an adolescent with hormones raging, your heart pounding, and your soul restless, living in a small town with no power, no currency (either monetarily or otherwise) and feeling like you’re the only one who has ever felt that way in the world. Ah, the glorious turmoil of youth. 

This is a brilliant song, and I think it shows just how much Roger is still getting used to the band and the sort of fame it can offer. They were still brand new rock babies at this point, just on the cusp of worldwide recognition, so he was probably still a little bit in his old headspace of being that smalltown boy. I think he carried a lot of that his whole life, tbh. 

ANYWAY, enough of my two cent interpretation of Roger’s lyrics that could be utterly and totally wrong. The song itself is really a jam, and it’s got lots of unique elements and rocking riffs. Roger’s raspy voice is perfect for rock and roll, and what I love about Queen is that we get to have three very unique voices for the songs. 

[musclesandhammering]

Hey, here's my take /as/ a queer man. anyone, gay, straight, etc...can dress how every they want and how ever they feel expresses themself. to me it's a non issue, even if like, you think someone is being disingenuous, I don't think it's an issue and i find it more harmful to me and people like me to have this debate in the zeitgeist to begin with. more straight girls have argued with me about why xyz behaviors is problematic and i find it exhausting. It is more destigmatizing to not put barriers around fashion in the first place & focus on uplifting queer gnc men than tearing other people down.

This is from a couple months ago but I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to answer it until now (sorry).

I appreciate you for responding with your perspective. Like I said, I’m not a queer man (I’m a queer woman), so I really don’t like speaking about the experiences of queer men as a generalisation.

And I agree with you actually! Men (cishet or lgbt) should 1000% be able to wear whatever they want with zero comment from anyone! And if we were debating whether or not Harry Styles dressing in a gnc way was problematic in general, then that would be a pointless conversation. But that’s not the the issue.

My argument was that- while he’s valid a million times over for however he wants to dress or act or whatever- the media and mainstream pop culture fans are wrong for elevating him into this unprecedented progressive icon of masculinity because of the way he dresses. And Harry (imo) is wrong for allowing it and playing into it.

Listen, if Vanity Fair or Vogue (or whatever magazines it was idk I don’t read them lol) regularly gave cover photos and full page profiles and stuff to other gnc people praising them as sort of new age icons for their gnc-ness (specifically gnc openly gay men, or gnc poc, or gnc people who are not stereotypically young and fit and traditionally attractive), then them also giving Harry that treatment would not be sus at all…… but we all know they don’t have a history of doing that. And we all know that when Billy Porter (an older black gnc gay man) or Sam Smith (a plus size gnc genderqueer person) etc live their truth and dress in gnc ways, they do not get as much adoration and adulation and worship and excessive praise by mainstream pop culture media as Harry (again, a young white skinny traditionally attractive most likely cishet- or at the very least not openly queer- man) and the reactions from the general public are always far more mixed. And that’s definitely sus.

It’s almost like the societal establishment realised that newer generations are accepting and celebrating gnc-ness, and knew that they had to pander to that, so they decided to elevate a gnc person….. but because the societal establishment will always edge as close to the conservative status quo as possible, they picked the blandest, whitest, most basic male model type (again- young and fit and noncontroversially hot), who is as close to cishet as they can get (because he refuses to categorise himself as queer, has not shown any evidence of being queer, and thus allows folks with complex homophobia to assume he’s not) while also still allowing them to get half a queer rep point (because, hey, he doesn’t categorise himself… so he might be queer, right?) without having to earn it at all.

And if Harry is just completely Head Empty I’m Just Vibin In My Flower Skirt oblivious to this whole issue, then that’s fine I guess lol- let him vibe! But considering how he’s made it part of his brand to be an lgbt ally and how his fans attack anyone who says anything about this problematic conundrum by screaming that Harry is extremely socially aware and has supported the queer community more than anybody, How Dare You Accuse Him Of Anything!!!- …..Like, it’s either one or the other bro.

If Harry really does know that much about the lgbt community (enough to insert his opinions on in-community issues such as how he thinks gay characters being portrayed as sexual beings is wrong), then he HAS to know that it’s problematic for him to be accepting all these fat ass magazine cover checks and skyrocketing his personal brand with glowing profiles and grasping at more fame and positive recognition for himself via fashion choices, and generally just basking in the praise he’s getting for being a bOuNdArY bReAkInG hErO,.. that other minority gnc people with much less privilege than him have been struggling to receive for decades and STILL struggle to receive.

It’s not like it’s a capital offence or anything. I’m not saying he’s a complete and total worthless piece of shit……. It’s just grating.

[krookidcookies]

On the Subject of Fashion.

When young girls imagine a weapon, they often think of the sleek shine of a sword or the glimmering sparkle of a perfectly polished hand gun. But let's be honest: nothing slices through the daily trouble of doubt and self-hatred quite like a brand new pair of Gucci Mules. Fashion, my dear reader, is not just a statement about showing one's inner feelings; it's a powerful, transformative force of nature, which can be welded with unparalleled finesse - I mean come on, all you have to do is ask the women of the Upper Paleolithic Period!.

“Does this Mammoth fur match my eyes?”

“Hmm, not sure? Maybe try the saber tooth tiger print instead?”

In a constantly rotating world that often reduces women to mere accessories, fashion is an escape route for girls all around the world and is an ultra chic way of flipping the script. “You think I'm nothing but an accessory? Well, suck my Jimmy Choo bangle you dirty bastard!” One should consider fashion a shield against the mundane routine of everyday life and a sword in the battle against blurring self-expression.

The right outfit doesn't just turn heads - it snaps necks, and commands respect wherever the wearer chooses. Think about it; there's something almost revolutionary and reminiscent of the renaissance that comes from wearing your favorite mini dress; the one that feels like it was made just for you and makes you feel like a million bucks. A tweed jacket is more than just a mere fashion accessory - it's a declaration of who you are, and even when you're too nervous to talk, the jacket does it for you…

“You can't compete, and it would be futile to even try!”

Whilst on the subject of fashion, I try to write to a mainly middle aged audience, but let's be honest, they aren't the ones in desperate need of a major movie makeover - think Fern to Vylette or Kady to plastic. As a man it can come across as anti-feminist of me to write about the way I believe women should present themselves, so my opinion stays humble. The runway can present a fabulous velocity of ideas for a young girl to choose from, but the runway isn't cheap, and even normal clothes are getting higher in price than Kate Moss in the early 90s - kate mess, more like fashion mess. It's either shitty t-shirts or fugly sandals for you Mary.

It wasn't too long ago that fashion was set to the most popular trends of the decade, the trends of this decade include: a slight combination of any decade, any era and any style, which can make it hard to identify where to shop for your certain style. The disco loving girls might choose Rabanne for their signature clothing store, the same way the scene-queens might choose Hot-Topic. Much to the chagrin of anyone with a sense of style, Sophie Ellis Bextor wasn't lying when she said it was Murder on the dancefloor - it's a tough game of cat and mouse when it comes to choosing the right outfit for a night out, especially if you're looking to trip the light fantastic! Herve Leger and Versace Jeans Couture present wonderful ensembles for a night out on the town, but they don't come cheap, ranging anywhere from $350 - $8600, so you ask, how can I find a solution to this infection of overpriced designer clothing? Two words my dear reader… Thrift Boutique! Now, a thrift boutique is NOT the same as a thrift store, in the thrift store you can spend hours sorting through people's clothes only to come out with a scratchy sweater - circa the first world war. But in a thrift boutique, someone has already gone through and organized the clothes by designer and size!, but it's also important to remember to not spend all of your time and money in the boutiques (even if it might be easier) ,because the salvation army isn't called the salvation army because they steal from the poor, and op shops/thrift stores are a great way of collecting fabulous clothes, while still doing something good and giving back to your local community.

[septembersghost]

I know you've become a celebrity news blog kind of against your will lol so you don't have to answer this, but I was thinking about the main pop girl stories this year & how it's escalated and it putting TS' situation into perspective helpfully. Because it's like: woman loses the man she thought she'd marry, acts petty, has a lil menty b, dates hideous rebound for four weeks, dips. MH's disgusting comments and behaviour aren't her fault, and they're fling is over now, she's distances herself. Her history of being a lovely human being is so long that a bad choice with a nasty man is forgivable. Then AG's affair. It's gross and distasteful, horrible for his wife and child, she and the sponge should be mocked until the end of time, but you mentioned how it's not that unusual. It's shitty but people do this, and Hollywood has a ton of these stories. It didn't ruin Angelina, and everyone involved in that was WAY more famous. Why is it our business who everybody's sleeping with if we're here for the art? Maybe it's because I don't care that much about AG, but she has the bad relationship track record that people think TS has. This isn't that off brand for her and doesn't really change my opinion. Wicked will be good or bad separate from them. But then there's Lizzo. Building a brand on acceptance and lifting ppl up only to be exposed as emotionally manipulative, abusive, literal sexual harassment (or is it assault?), mistreating people who work for you. That's low and despicable. That I can't forgive because that speaks to the heart of the art itself as hollow. All three of them earned their careers but I don't fuck w someone who shames and traumatises others. You know? Personal mistakes with fuckboys and causing harm to your workers are hugely different topics but sometimes online stans don't seem to get that.

Thanks for listening, I think you get alot of these messages because you don't answer them as only snarky gossip, so it's good to vent to someone who'll understand ❤

remember when my asks were mostly fictional character meta, but then i was unhappy with how the stories unfolded and for various reasons had to distance myself from the respective fandoms, and now we're here. 😳 i opened the door to discussion though, it's okay! if/when i'm not comfortable with something, i don't feel pressured about it anymore, i answer what i can.

so there's a lot to unpack here, and i'm not even sure where to begin with the layers of it, but want to preface this by saying anything i reply is not directed at *you*, but rather a general sort of observation.

these stories are all very different and require different responses, so it's a little tricky that they're being compared at all, even though i get it because they all involve very famous women in music. i think one of the first issues to reflect on here is, in fact, the way we approach and discuss things involving successful women and the almost ravenous hunger to take them down a peg the moment they show a flaw or make a bad choice. while i don't condone the things that man has said and done, it's curious to me how quickly it turned into a conversation of taylor being tainted by him forever, an odd melding of shaming and blaming that went beyond the careful concern regarding awareness and accountability. it was upsetting for many fans, myself included, but thankfully brief, and the intentional distancing made moving on the healthier choice. with ariana, infidelity is terrible and the story has several "juicy" angles that are easy to glom onto and laugh about, and the situation is ongoing, but ultimately is it our business? it's not a positive reflection on her character, but is it something that changes her overall abilities? obviously i am far more familiar with taylor's person and history than i am with ariana (or lizzo, but we'll get there), so i know how taylor is always reported to have treated people, to have shown her character, and her consistent graciousness has the most weight to me. i don't know exactly what ari's overall reputation is in that sense. but the concept of...forgivableness...regarding private mistakes or bad choices is difficult to parse. i've talked about the necessity for willingness to extend grace and allow for growth a lot, but of course everyone decides individually where/when/how they can offer that, especially to artists they admire but don't know. i feel like romantic missteps are less our purview than open bigotry or criminal actions, if that makes sense. one scandal doesn't equal another. do fans have the right to expect an apology? with ari, is that even fair to ask when the only person/people who really deserves that is his wife (and his child) and possibly her husband? where is that line between the personal and the public?

you mentioned angelina, and i've seen others bring up the debbie reynolds/eddie fisher/elizabeth taylor affair, but there are a lot of differences there considering in both of those cases, all the people involved were very famous. lilly is not a public figure, and ethan was not particularly known before this (even as a broadway fan, i'd somehow never heard of him). and yet, despite debbie being america's sweetheart, and elizabeth's reputation with lovers, neither of them were colored by that forever (though carrie worked it hilariously into her writing and show), debbie even forgave liz later in life and they made up, which was her choice. i never associate liz with her scandalous accounts because she was so much greater than that alone, but i've mentioned before that unfortunately i couldn't be a fan of anyone from old hollywood if messy romantic entanglements were deal breakers, so, again, that's in however one individually chooses to approach it.

then there's lizzo. i liked her, but only casually knew a little about her. the allegations are horrendous, and i'm not going to sugarcoat that, but at the same time, the idea of it being unforgivable and permanently destroying gives me pause only because of the tone of the conversation. granted, they've never done anything abusive like this, but taylor and ariana are both thin white women from privileged backgrounds (upper middle class and very upper class respectively). there's a little too much glee from some in canceling a plus size black woman who represented a lot of positivity for many in her audience, and for people who are underrepresented, in reveling in the fact that she's been "revealed" as nasty. the concept of what's "unforgivable" concerns me slightly. it's disappointing (and disturbing) behavior, no doubt. yet so many far worse people, especially men, have gotten total passes for heinous actions. it doesn't mean she should be given free reign to mistreat people with impunity, she absolutely should not. i fully support her dancers in speaking out, and anyone who's been mistreated working for her, it's awful, and they deserve better and were right to file the suit. i hope they get reparation and support through this. but do we destroy and write off lizzo forever, or do we hope there's some room for her to learn and change? when men guilty of criminal abuse are still thriving? is there a way for her to even make amends? what does it mean if there isn't? and i truly don't know the answers.

this is all rhetorical, but i do...stop and wonder if sometimes online commentary is fervent for comeuppance aimed at successful women, and even if the discussion is deserved and begins reasonably, it gets taken really far - it starts casting them as permanently stained, sinful [insert slur here], divas, armchair diagnosing them with personality disorders (i have seen malignant narcissism and BPD invoked way too often, and not only is that crossing a line, it also increases stigma against people really dealing with those diagnoses), shaming their bodies, their sexuality, their writing, their fundamental existences beyond what the core of the story is, and i feel like some caution is warranted in that regard.

all that said, i totally get where you're coming from on seeing the levels of seriousness here. and there are markedly disparate personalities, circumstances, behaviors, and reactions involved in each of these stories, and different levels of upset and emotion too. maybe amends can be made and maybe they can't, and sometimes we can healthily move on, and sometimes something is too serious and requires further consequence. harmful bigotry/isms and abuse deserve whatever vitriol they get, like criminal actions require adjudication, but do poor choices about bedfellows? we certainly can't solve any of it, our only power is in response, and the one thing i try my best to do is remember that we're talking about real human beings, and however that can be handled appropriately and within reason for each individual.

sorry this is so long and rambly, but i appreciate you all being willing to discuss with and trust me. <3

[your-dietician]

People Are Hating On The New "Adult Happy Meal" At McDonald's, And After Trying It, I Respectfully Concur

New Post has been published on https://medianwire.com/people-are-hating-on-the-new-adult-happy-meal-at-mcdonalds-and-after-trying-it-i-respectfully-concur/

People Are Hating On The New "Adult Happy Meal" At McDonald's, And After Trying It, I Respectfully Concur

McDonald’s recently launched their adult happy meal, and alllll I’ve been seeing on my timeline are a bunch of memes about it.

Twitter: @brixncontre

Despite what the memes imply, the fast food chain’s new menu item doesn’t offer any sort of contraband, but does include a choice between a Big Mac or 10-piece chicken McNuggets, an order of medium fries, and a drink.

Oh, and a toy, of course. McDonald’s teamed up with the brand Cactus Plant Flea Market and made a squad of four-eyed collectible items. The special box for the adult happy meal was designed by them too.

.@McDonalds & Cactus Plant Flea Market are collaborating for their adult happy meal which includes redesigned nostalgic toys from the food chain.

06:47 PM – 29 Sep 2022

Twitter: @popcrave

A lot of people online seemed to be really excited about the toys.

Gonna drive my stupid car down to stupid McDonald’s to get myself a stupid adult happy meal because I’m obsessed with collecting dumb little things that give me the tiniest amount of serotonin

12:24 PM – 03 Oct 2022

Twitter: @artetak

Some people even said they were on the hunt to collect all four. I guess they are pretty cute.

I got the adult happy meal!!! Got the one I least wanted tho ): but either way this boi is a lot bigger than I thought he’d be. I know they look silly but I legit want all the toys.

08:58 PM – 03 Oct 2022

Twitter: @befishprod

However, there was a distinct number of people who criticized the meal and called it “overrated.”

unpopular opinion: the adult happy meal is overrated and overpriced, like i’ll just stick with my usual order

03:47 AM – 06 Oct 2022

Twitter: @jonathoncraw_

Seeing all the mixed reviews, I knew I had to try it for myself to get down to the bottom of this.

Twitter: @mcdonalds

I walked over to my nearest McDonald’s and got my hands on one. Here’s how it all went:

Personally, I’ve always been a chicken McNuggets girl, so I went with those. I was already starting to feel like a kid again.

I paid for everything and the order was placed. I looked around and saw at least six other people in the restaurant with their respective AHMs.

Were they amazing? No. Were they terrible? Also no.

After trying this, I’ve started to see more and more people lamenting about it being sold out in their location, and honestly, to them I’d say you aren’t missing out on much.

In shambles bc I’ve been to multiple McDonalds and they were all sold out of the Adult Happy Meal 💔 @McDonalds pls stop putting ads for it all over my Twitter if they won’t be available 😭

12:25 AM – 09 Oct 2022

Twitter: @pocketfulofdana

For $13, it’s not worth it. I guess the only reason someone would want to get this would be to collect the toys, but other than that, I don’t really see the appeal for this. Do yourself a favor and order the regular McNuggets or Big Mac for half the price.

Have you tried the adult happy meal? Let me know what you thought of it in the comments.

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[cloudbatcave]

The vampire looked off into the distance, searching for something they seemed not to find, yet when they looked back it was not with dissatisfaction. Their face was thoughtful, the long pointed ears ever so slightly arched upward.

“It’s likely I can’t be good. But what is goodness? It’s less great deeds and more many little ones, I’ve found. I’ve watched empires rise and fall, and certainly, some single acts have incredible weight. Humans love that story; one hero saving the rest. It’s not a bad story to like, either. It’s relatable. Humans are individuals; they want to hear what individuals can do. They want comfort, and why not? They live in a terrifying world.”

Jessica shifted, her feline ears flattening a little as she bit her lip, wondering if she should protest at the obvious meaning of the last line. If she could protest.

“Well, what does that have to do with it?” She said instead, slightly snappish but more worried than anything. “You still haven’t said what you think.”

“Patience, I’m getting there.” They waved a finger at her, just as her sister said they’d always done when lecturing and she half wanted to laugh, half wanted to strangle them. How had Elly ever put up with so many tangents?

God, Elly had put up with so much.

She forced back the stupid tears that threatened to pour out of her again. She was so sick of crying.

“Jessica?”

They were looking at her, concern in their bright green eyes.

“Yeah. Go on. I’m fine.”

“You can always tell me to stop, you know.” They reminded her gently, slender fingers clasped together.

They clutch their hands when they’re trying not to fret - you wouldn’t think a vamp would be so anxious, Jessie, it’s the funniest thing.

“Don’t. Don’t stop right now.”

She needed noise. There was too much empty space. Background babble was better.

They looked mildly confused along with concerned, but nodded.

“It matters because I am not really an individual as humans understand it. I look like one, I can function like one, but I don’t have the morality of a single person. I have the morality - or perhaps the lack of morality - of a superorganism. Every semblance of manners and decency, I had to actively learn. I don’t have a human’s natural impulse to care for their kind, to slow down for others, to ask about their feelings.”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Everyone has to learn those, Tuuya. Babies aren’t born knowing them. So what if you’re a little...” she tilted her hand back and forth. “...you know. You do those things. That’s what matters. Plenty of humans - and other species - suck balls at them.”

“How very utilitarian of you.” They replied, teasing approval in their voice before they sobered. “But lacking a natural tendency for warmth and kindness would be seen by many as unsettling and make my actions appear fake or hollow. Not an invalid view.”

“Oh my god.” The young woman groaned, stretching her arms out and extending her claws. “How does your head not hurt thinking about this all the time. Do you argue with yourself when you don’t have a class to hold captive? Is that why you teach, to have an audience who needs you for a grade?”

“Blast, you’ve found me out.” They said mock-sorrowfully, ears drooping for effect. “I became a professor because no one would hold still long enough to talk to me otherwise. Damned annoying having to keep tying them down.”

Jessica laughed much louder than she meant to. It wasn’t even that funny, it was just...she’d had such a long day, and it was ending with some sort of worm swarm being the person she had to rely on right now. What the fuck was her life.

How was this real? She felt like any moment Elly was going to walk through the door, the body they’d found had been someone else, and -

No. She couldn’t let herself live in denial. Elly was fucking dead, and they were going to find her killer, and Jessica was going to beat the shit out of them, claws and teeth and all. Human respectability could kiss her ass.

She didn’t realize she was sitting down until what felt like a while later. Maybe it was, maybe it had only been a few minutes. Time was weird now.

There was a blanket around her, fitting for the autumn chill. The half-Sphinx pulled it closer, more out of habit than anything.

A meal sat on the table in front of her, and judging by the coolness of the plate and the low-burning candle nearby, it had been there a while.

There was a note too, written in green ink, the handwriting swoopy and old-fashioned.

Jessica,

There’s a room for you if you want it, second down the hall on the left. But if you’d rather go back to your apartment, I understand. Find me in my study if you do, I’m grading papers. If you don’t want the food, just put the plastic bag around it so it doesn’t attract ants.

She thought of the empty, dirty apartment, where she could walk in and smell her sister’s deodorant hanging over the place. Where she could eat the ramen leftovers they’d made together two days ago, adding pork belly and garlic and making fun of each other for bad breath. She could sleep on the worn couch, uncomfortable but in a way she’d gotten used to over the last six months.

So quiet.

She takes a few bites of food (she hardly even tastes it) but wraps up the rest. She should probably put it in the fridge but can’t seem to find the energy, so she wanders into the room the vampire has left for her.

It’s a lot more modern than she expected from something - someone so old. But then, the antique furniture Elly always liked was expensive, and professors aren’t paid big bucks. Some people like to imagine all vampires are rich, but she’s always figured that was bull because not all sphinxes like riddles. She’s never seen the appeal.

You’re half-Sphinx, honey, she can hear her father’s gentle voice saying. Things are different for you.

The old man will probably never realize he’s just as bigoted as the people he enjoys ranting about. He thinks he’s such a saint because he doesn’t scream hate. Because he didn’t turn her out on the streets.

Tuuya would rethink their idea of goodness pretty fucking quick if they met him, she thinks acidly. No pride solidarity urges or human empathy for him.

Except when it came to Elly. Elly, who wasn’t his bio daughter, who wasn’t even half a Sphinx, but who could do no fucking wrong, apparently.

Fuck, no, what’s the matter with me? She screamed at herself. Elly was dead, why was she feeling this way? Not that she’d felt great about resenting her when she was alive, either, but...

She dragged her hands down her face, claws sheathing and baring as she tried to reconcile her roiling emotions. Then all the energy went out of her again. What was the point?

The bed was surprisingly comfortable as she flopped in it. Didn’t vampires not need to sleep? What did Tuuya keep an extra room for anyway? Who would even visit the weird old bloodsucker willingly?

God, I’m such a bitch, she thought to herself, half-amused and half-ashamed at her thoughts. They’ve done nothing but help me.

Then again, even they said they probably weren’t really good. But did it matter? Jessica hadn’t met a long list of people she’d actually call ‘good’. Polite was the best you could hope for. Polite and not too damn nosy.

Long as they don’t chew on me in the night, I don’t care, she decided. As long as they help me find the shitstain who did this, and then...

She decided to go to bed instead of thinking about the nebulous and very, very empty space after ‘and then’.

[raifenlf]

Why Loki’s Sylvie Is A Mary Sue

So I am firmly in the camp that Sylvie on the Loki series was/is a Mary Sue.  The last episode made me feel better and like maybe the show was doing a thing where they were faking you out that she was a Mary Sue only to show she was actually sort of a bad guy and I liked that.  But all the recent interviews make me think the show wants to go back to her being a Mary Sue.

But I feel like when I call her out for being a Mary Sue people tell me what are you talking about, she’s not a Mary Sue, bad things happen to her, etc.  But that doesn’t actually make her not a Mary Sue.  

Also, before we start, I know some people find Mary Sue sexist.  But I personally use the term for guys and girls. I don’t use the term to belittle women.  I use the term to criticize a poorly written character.

And I know Mary Sue is often used to describe fanfic characters.  But to me, this series is kind of like a fanfic because the writers took a character who had been in canon MCU material for ten years and then created characters around that character.  So, I kind of review it like I would a fanfic.  It’s very different than if the writers had created a brand new show with all of their own new characters.

Anyway, if you are not totally familiar with the Mary Sue term, then check this out:

I know the term Mary Sue probably means different things to different people.  But I have always used these guidelines when I write my own fanfic to make sure my characters never come off as a Mary Sue.

This article really gives you a full scale of what a Mary Sue is.  If you start reading it, you’ll immediately see why Sylvie is.  But I’m going to take out the parts that most fit Sylvie just to highlight why I believe she is a Mary Sue.  I apologize for this being so long.

Mary Sue Character Traits

Personality

Erm... what personality? The typical Mary Sue doesn't have one per se, because she isn't meant to be a character; rather, she's an entity by which the author makes cool stuff happen.

I feel like that is Sylvie in a nutshell.  She doesn’t have a personality.  I feel like even though she ate screentime, I still don’t really know her at all.  The writers love to say she’s badass.  That’s not a personality.  

Sometimes when I am writing stories for fun and creating new characters, I like to take surveys as my fictional characters.  Like the kind of surveys you’d see in a magazine, like personality types, what’s your dating style, etc.  I figure if I don’t know what my character would do in any of those situations, then I need to keep working on my character.  And if I was trying to fill out a survey pretending I was Sylvie I would have no idea what to answer because she doesn’t have a personality.  She’s just “cool”.

What little personality a Mary Sue has isn't as important as how other characters react to it. No matter how shy or socially awkward Mary Sue is supposed to be, other characters will be inexplicably drawn to her

This is so Sylvie.  Loki falls in love with her...why, exactly?  He falls in love with her in the big Nexus event moment...why?  Because she had a tough childhood?  Mobius spends like two seconds with her in a car and goes from hating her to saying she’s his favorite Loki.  For. No. Particular. Reason.

She's extremely persuasive; everyone finds her opinions to be better than their own

She enchants Hunter B-15 and then immediately Hunter B-15 makes it her whole entire life mission to back Sylvie up.  

And occasionally she'll be a complete asshole...This can manifest itself in several ways...The author wants to write a badass but doesn't know how. This leads to a character who mistreats everyone around her and is never called out on her abrasive, casually abusive behavior.

Sylvie talked down to Loki and treated him like garbage for all of episode three, but it was never portrayed as a bad thing and we never got any impression Sylvie later felt bad for the way she treated Loki

The author doesn't know how to hold back the character, meaning that she will succeed at practically everything. This means that when she encounters rules or authority figures who would otherwise prevent her from doing what she wants to do, she rolls right through them (and they praise her for her "boldness" in defying regulations). If a bad guy is violent and aggressive, she can beat him by being more violent and aggressive (with all that entails). It's impossible for her to go overboard because she's protected by Protagonist-Centered Morality.

Sylvie is shown as a kid to immediately be able to grab a Tempad and run away.  And she can kick ass way better than Loki, for no known reason.  She is always able to fight back against the TVA when they attack her.  And she can kill lots of innocent TVA agents but it’s okay because TVA bad, Sylvie good.

Skills

She will always be superior to the canon characters, regardless of what canon has established they can do or whether it makes any sense.

Whose skill was needed to defeat Alioth?  Sylvie’s.  Of course.  Sylvie needed to teach Loki her skills in order for him to succeed (!).  And again, she is literally called the superior Loki.

Relatedly, there's no effort to her skills. She never actually trains or learns anything to become more powerful; she just wins the Super Power Lottery, or is a freakish natural learner, or is just Inexplicably Awesome

We’re told Sylvie literally taught herself magic.  She literally taught herself to enchant people.  That. Makes. No. Sense.  Like, I have so many questions.  Like, why would it even occur to her to teach herself that?  And how????????????  This is really lazy writing.

Canon Character Relationships

Mary Sue is often designed to hook up with another character, often as a form of Wish Fulfillment. This isn't that bad in and of itself (okay, it is kinda weird), but Mary Sue accomplishes this without any sense of realism. She just grabs her lover's attention straight away, and their relationship will never face any obstacles or tension; it's true love from the start and nothing else. The biggest giveaway is if the love interest is explicitly the author's favorite character, and she essentially "cures" him of all the angst that ails him (at the expense of his characterization).

Yeah, so...this one should be pretty obvious to anyone who watched the show.  Loki literally falls in love with Sylvie immediately, and then he suddenly turns from “villain” to “hero” just because of loving her.  And this was definitely at the expense of his characterization.  And Loki just knows he falls in love with her.  There’s not even any moments of hmm what do I feel for this person?  It’s just true love, immediately.

She will be related to a canon character in some way. This (marginally) helps explain such phenomena as her being a Copy Cat Sue and other characters accepting her so easily.

Sylvie is a Loki variant.  They use this to help explain why Loki is drawn to her and why their falling in love immediately “makes sense”.

Most characters give her more heed than they normally would. The good guys never stop praising her

Seriously, it was so over the top and OOC for Loki to gush over her.  He literally tells her she’s amazing.  They don’t even make it subtle.

Characters' previously established personalities change in reaction to her. Proud, arrogant gimps suddenly acknowledge her superiority in everything. Reckless youths will listen to all her advice. Responsible leaders will defer to her instead. Villains will obsess with her to the detriment of all else. Extremely competent characters will become stumbling buffoons who require her help to do anything. Sweet, mild-mannered characters whom the author doesn't like turn evil and insult her. They all become unnaturally focused on her in some way.

Again, Loki’s whole personality changed in reaction to her.  He became a buffoon who needed her help to enchant the Alioth because of course he couldn’t do anything without her!  Hunter B-15 goes from doing whatever the TVA said to fighting the TVA just because of Sylvie.

Story Elements

Mary Sue is without exception a single-person Spotlight-Stealing Squad. The entire story hinges on her existence; if you removed her, there would be no story. 

Sylvie undoubtedly drove the whole story this season.  It all became about HER meeting the TVA heads because of HER trauma.  Loki’s life was only saved at the beginning because the TVA was trying to capture HER.  And SHE was the one who started the whole multiverse (!).

Mary Sue is The Chosen One, even if the setting already has one. There are many ways she can accomplish this: she can be a Sailor Earth type who "shares" the position with the canon hero; she may be vaguely "destined to help the destined one fulfill their destiny" (i.e. do all the work except the final blow so that the prophecy is still technically correct); or the canon hero may be revealed to be a Fake Ultimate Hero all along. Being the Chosen One doesn't necessarily involve her being a God-Mode Sue, especially as authors become aware of the phenomenon and try to avoid it, but it does make her critically important to the world and allows her to continue stealing the spotlight without the "god mode" label.

HWR wanted Sylvie to come with Loki in the end, like she was chosen all along right alongside Loki.  Like one of the most important characters in the entire MCU is now this character who we only met a few episodes ago.

Most Sues have an unusually Dark and Troubled Past. It's often used to create a Sympathetic Sue, but any type of Sue can have one

They tell us, over and over, how hard Sylvie’s life was because she was kidnapped by the TVA in order to create sympathy for her.

She almost never does anything wrong. In the rare instance that she does, it's usually; (a) a way for the author to disclaim her being a Mary Sue by introducing a single imperfection (that has no bearing on anything anyway), and (b) designed to show her smarts by making her feel instant remorse, and she'll be Easily Forgiven anyway:

So this one hopefully will not come true, as a lot can change between now and when the show is taped. But if the show goes on the way the behind the scenes team is talking, Sylvie immediately felt remorse for betraying Loki, and Loki has already forgiven her and is desperately looking for her.  Ugh.

Alternatively, she is more than capable of doing something wrong, be it in general moral terms or something that goes against whatever code she abides by, and she maybe even frequently does so, but don't expect the other characters or the narrative to ever acknowledge or comment on it in any real capacity. If the other characters do call her out, expect them to be treated like they're the problem for daring to criticize her at all.

Mobius calls her out for killing people, but Sylvie immediately says he’s a bad person and then Mobius agrees, because, of course.

She will often suffer from Special Snowflake Syndrome; i.e., she has a trait or backstory that sets her apart from her group or race.

She is the only female Loki, thus making her the special one among all the Lokis in episode five.

Presentation

In visual media, the camera just can't stop staring at her.

The camera would follow her in fight scenes rather than Loki.

Mary Sue Tropes

Okay, so there are specific Mary Sue tropes that Sylvie is.  One of those is Copy Cat Sue, which I think was referenced before.

Copy Cat Sue

A lot of fanfic writers...start to write something because of their passion for this character, but they find something about the character that doesn't mesh well. Maybe they're the wrong gender or are otherwise not close enough to the author's expectations...In any case, rather than put them through the Possession Sue process, they just get a Clone-O-Matic™ and out pops a Copy Cat Sue...the character might be intended as a replacement for the canon character, but without whatever icky traits the author hates. They'll then rob the spotlight, prove the canon character to be unworthy of his/her position, and either relegate the character to obsolescence or, perhaps, even remove them entirely.

Sylvie is basically a clone of Loki, she is a variant.  But she absolutely robbed the spotlight of Loki’s, and they literally call her the superior Loki.  I mean, they are literally not even being subtle about this.  And there was a feeling by myself (and a lot of other viewers) that Sylvie might ultimately replace Loki in the MCU. 

Black Hole Sue

Much like a black hole, this is a Mary Sue who "sucks in" the plot and characters to her. Characters will behave outside their personalities, logic will be defied, and rules will be broken for her sake.

Sylvie really does suck up all the plot and Loki definitely behaves outside of his personality just to fit the Sylvie show.

Jerk Sue

A Mary Sue who is mean or maybe even cruel, but are still treated as an ideal person.

Once again, Sylvie is basically a jerk all of episode three, but you’ve got Loki falling over himself to call her amazing in just the next episode.

Relationship Sue

A Mary Sue who exists to be the perfect mate for a specific character...this character has everything in the plot conspiring to enforce this One True Pairing...in Fanfiction, they are the perfect beloved of a canon character.

They literally have Mobius speculate that Loki falling in love with Sylvie is so extraordinary that it causes an entire Nexus event, that’s how huge this One True Pairing is (!).  And Sylvie is the love interest of Loki, the only character who had been around before the beginning of the series

TLDR: Sylvie has all the tropes of a classic Mary Sue character.  So calling Sylvie a Mary Sue isn’t being sexist or just randomly hating on the character.  If you use common Mary Sue characteristics to examine the character, she just has too many of these characteristics to ignore.