#it’s been about 3 years since my hair was fully it’s natural colour

[realismreading]

It’s been almost 2 months since I cut 4 inches of my hair off in my second year uni house’s living room mirror while my housemates watched Naked Attractions

My hair actually has grown a little and the debate now starts again. Do I let it grow out (something I’ve been considering for some time, as my hair hasn’t been long in about 2 years) or do I just … chop it even shorter?

[eloiseishere]

Memento Mori

Posted: August 29, 2022

Pairing: Stark!Siblings(reader, Tony), very brief Bucky Barnes x StarkSister!Reader [Theres no use of y/n just a female reader in mind]

Warning(s): I don't know if this would count as angst cuz grieving yerknow. But there's that cuz reader cries a bit in this one :)

Summary: She’s sitting on Tony Stark's grave, talking to the wind and reminiscing.

Note: This is supposed to be a monologue script, but I type really slow if I do it in that form, so it's in story form for now. It's a WIP, I just don't know what to add to it right now. Not proofread, or beta read. I might come back to it someday and repost a fully fleshed out one :3 K, Enjoy! :3

A woman stands tall by an apple tree, leaning on it, just staring at the tombstone on the floor, Beloved Son, Brother, Husband, Father. It was late summer, and colours were draining all around her, but the tree she leaned on didn't fail to continue fruitfully blooming.

She eventually ducks down, kneeling on the grass to reach toward the stone.

"Hey." She wipes the bottom of the tombstone, pulling a few weeds out of the way before completely settling down on the grass in front of the tombstone, "I'm sitting on your tiddies." She giggles, leaning forward with her legs crossed in front of her, starting to pull at the weeds that crowded the dirt by her legs, staring unblinking into the wind.

"I'm sorry that I'm only visiting you now." She tilts her head to graze her eyes over the worn-out stone, "It's just that..." She breathes, "I don't think I've grieved for you yet— like properly grieved, you know? Like the five stages of grief that people go on and on about all the time. The 'cliche bullshit thing' you hate so much." She looks up and around, squinting at the cloudy sunlight.

"I always thought that I wanted to properly grieve for you first, give myself some proper closure before I came to visit you." She nods, looking down, starting to aggressively pick at the weeds.

She notices what she was doing, stops and pats the bald spot in apology, "Sorry." She chokes up a laugh, "Didn't mean to pull at your hairs."

A moment of silence passes by, almost a moment of peace. The silence, the soft breeze, made her take a deep breath, taking in the air of long forgotten souls.

"It's been a year since you've passed, and I don't think I've gotten over how much you've," She swallowed, "How much you've affected my life." She starts tearing up, sucking in a deep breath to pull back the liquid from her eyes, "Fuck, it's so hard to admit that out loud— I would never hear the end of that from you." She sucks in another deep breath, releasing it with a choked-out chuckle.

"I do that like it's gonna do anything to stop me from crying." She huffs, looking down and letting a pair of tears fall to the grass, "You always made fun of me for doing that." She smiles at the memories of their bickering.

She reaches forward, running her hand through the engraving on the stone, "I wish I did so much more things with you." She imagines what could have been of their relationship if he had survived that day. A gust of wind blew to her face, "I hope that was you responding with a ditto cuz that's some weird timing for Mother Nature to breathe if not." She chuckles tearfully, trying to remember what she was attempting to tell the quiet air.

"I wish I hugged you more." She pulls her hand back, dusting her hand of the tiny stones that littered her palm, "I never realized how much I loved your hugs until I had to live without them— god your smell. You stank most times, but I kinda miss that." She jokes with the wind, gently wringing her wrist now.

She bites her lip to hold back a sob desperately trying to rip through her chest, fidgeting with her fingers as she concentrates on the words she wanted to say.

"I wish I had told you I loved you more." Her voice cracks then, "Sorry." She wiped at her cheeks, looking around to distract herself and sees a couple walk to a tombstone and sit in front of it.

"If you were here and we were at mum's grave, we'd make fun of every single couple that talked about, 'this is my ma, ma, meet my significant other that felt bad enough to come with me to see my dead ma'." She laughs with a sniffle, "God, were both such pessimistic people."

"I can't say that now though." She states as if guilt was surrounding her previous statement, "Cuz I found someone I want to show you." She looks to the side, as if avoiding eye contact with the stone in front of her, "You won't like him, I think... Because of history and all, but I hope you're at least happy that I'm happy." She nods, looking around, "And mum too, of course. She always deserves to know who we're dating." Her laugh somehow made her even sadder. It eventually dies down, and she is back to sulking, taking a blade of grass and ripping it into smaller pieces. She throws them to the side, grabbing her next blade to be a victim.

"I wish I got to hear your laugh more— I remember when we were younger, how mum made us make up because we fought over a big piece of cake... And for some reason, you laughed so hard that I started laughing with you... I suppose it was because of how ridiculous it was. The sheer size of the slice was about both of our tiny hands combined. Like, we probably would have gotten incredibly sick if we tried to eat everything by ourselves. We had half the brain to fight over it." She throws another set of torn blades to her side, "I just wish I had more time to have some kind of bond with you— like the one I had with you when we were younger... You got busy and I thought you didn't like me anymore." She rolls her eyes, "Turns out, you were just an asshole and 'didn't want to invade my space first'."

"Which by the way," She adds with a finger raised, "Isn't like you. Cuz I vividly remember how you always kicked my door down to get into my room just to ask what the day of the week it was."

She looks around again, leaning back and placing her palms behind her to support herself.

"I just hope you're happy, wherever you are." She smiles, "Keep mum happy while I'm not there, or I'll find a way to bring you back just to send you back." She sternly states to the stone.

"Everyone misses you here— your daughter misses you here." She says, "She's a smart nut, that one. She's your child, alright."

"She recited the whole one-to-twelve times table to me the other day without looking at the list." She states, "Girl is a genius. And I like that I see who you were in her all the time— stubborn, incredibly smart, and so, so, emotionally intelligent." She shakes her head, "That kid can read me and just immediately asks if I’m okay."

"She's taking your leave very well." She nods, "I love you 3000 is still a go— and she just seems to understand what's happening around her. Your wife is doing really good at raising her." She glared at the name on the stone, "Unlike you who just left all of us here cuz of a great sacrifice or whatever." She jests.

A tiny apple hits her head, landing in front of her. She held the top of her head, squinting at the fruit.

"See, that's just mean." She picks up the Apple, wiping it and tossing it between her hands, "I'm just saying that you could have at least left after Morgan's gotten to an age where she could actually remember you." She takes a bite out of it, turning the fruit in her hand, and scanning its amber colour.

"My therapist told me I should come here often." She nods, "Can you believe that? I go to therapy now— anyway... She said that I should come here more often even just to read a book in front of you, and you know what. After not visiting you for a year? I prolly should do it to make amends with you." She takes another bite, staring at the apple while chewing.

A hand snatches the apple, and she hears a bite of the fruit, "It's time to go." She hears the voice, looking up at her most recent accomplishment, love.

"Sit with me a moment, Buck." She states, scooting over to the side to give her boyfriend space.

"I don't think-"

"Sit." She firmly states. He wearily lowers himself, flopping onto the grass, "Now you're sitting on his tiddies too." She states, light laughter bubbling up from her throat.

Bucky rolls his eyes, "You're so weird-"

"Am I lying though?" She looks to her side and Bucky starts laughing with her.

[angstama]

god knows you tried | manjiro (mikey) sano

pairing: bonten!mikey x reader 

genre: angst

warnings: heartbreak, attempt suicide(?), original characters/manga plot (pls do not read if you haven’t read the manga D: ), mentions of religion, implied sex (no smut ok!)

summary: god knows you tried your best. if only mikey knew how hard you’re trying too then perhaps this love wouldn’t hurt as much as you thought. 

 words: 1823 words 

 a/n: i think this sucks but... i hope you enjoy it! <3

god knows you tried.

you watched the ex-toman boys eagerly catching up with takemichi quietly, hands resting against your chin as you took in the rare sight in front of you with a sad smile etched on your lips. this was the happy ending that mikey had sacrificed for everyone but himself. 

“a penny for your thoughts?” mitsuya asks, plopping down next you on to the stone steps. that’s right, it’s june 19th 2018, toman’s formation day anniversary and everyone had gathered around to re-open the time capsule from twelve years ago. “hm? nothing much. just missing a particular someone.” you hummed, dragging your fingers across the ground to draw a heart. mitsuya nods understandingly, knowing not to pry any deeper anymore and for that, you’re thankful. 

crouching down, you hesitantly picked up the the blue coloured envelope you left behind twelve years ago. unsure if you’d wanna read the contents of the letter your naive self written back then. with a deep breath, you slipped open the cover. revealing a photo of candid photo of you and mikey leaning on each other asleep with your mouths wide open taken by emma. 

dearest y/n, 

i wonder what you’re doing right now? 

are you perhaps finally studying in film? 

has that idiot manjiro finally proposed to you?

 or are you the one who proposed to him? 

“y/n, you’ll be with me for a long time right?” mikey asked, staring at the very sky that you both loved oh so very much with your hands intertwined. having grown up with each other since young had pretty much given you both the illusion that the two of you will always be a part of each other’s world. and you hoped with every inch of your heart that mikey wants it to be that way forever. “of course. you’re my heaven and home mikey. i wouldn’t go anywhere else without you by my side.” you squeezed his hand in assurance, knowing that at this very moment, mikey was at his most truthful and vulnerable self with you. 

whatever it is, i hope that you’re living the happy life with him that you’ve been dreaming of. 

signing off, 

toman’s honorary member, y/n l/n. 

everyone was silent. even hakkai who had been making fun of everyone’s letter kept quiet. the boys knew how much you loved and you still love mikey. each opting to give you the concerned and sympathetic look. you could feel you heart breaking even more for you knew you weren’t doing anything that you had hoped for back then. 

you felt mitsuya’s comforting hand softly grabbing onto yours. “well that’s depressing,” you chuckled softly, wanting to get rid of the awkward tension in the air as soon as possible. “let’s grab some ramen, i’m starving.” and with that, you let your feet drag you away from the heavy atmosphere with your head hung low. 

perhaps the hurt wouldn't be as painful if you weren’t the only one who knew what kind of path mikey had chosen to go down. you see, when mikey turned his back against all his closest friend, you had the privilege of staying as his only constant thanks to your stubborn nature but even with that, you weren’t enough to keep him away from his dark impulses. mikey chose the path to destruction and the only thing that you could do was watch from the sidelines and be there when he shows up at wee hours of the night to borrow your body. but you didn't mind. it was during these most intimate moments with mikey that you finally get to feel a piece of him again when he spews the words of “i love you” so effortlessly. 

god knows that you tried. 

“mikey those aren’t good for you.” you frowned, snatching the capsule away from his hand seconds before he could flush it down his system. “what the fuck y/n?” the angered male snaps. you felt yourself falling and back colliding against the hard ground. opening your eyes, you see mikey pining you down with nothing but void darkness in his eyes. “i’ll fucking kill you if you do it again.” mikey taunts, he was serious and you know it. 

“then kill me mikey.” the words slipped out of your tongue instantly. you were tired. tired of trying. you don't know what else can you possibly do to help mikey anymore. mikey says nothing but got off you. he dusted himself and without sparing you single glance, he showed you his back again, walking out of the door where sanzu was already holding open for him. “get her home.” you heard him say. 

it’s been a week since you guys opened the time capsule. nothing much had happened since then except you’ve been spending more time with hina considering how she’s often over to mitsuya’s studio for gown fitting. you admired and envy her love story with takemichi. but who were you to complain? you were lucky enough that mikey still wanted you around. so it shouldn’t hurt so much when you sae her adorning the beautiful wedding gown that mitsuya had spent months on tailoring. 

you let out a tired yawn, stretching your arms above your head as you finished touching up the last few bits of editing on your laptop. you looked over at the calendar on your table, a pink heart circled over today’s date and smiled. “mitsuya, i’m gonna knock off first okay?” you announced, tidying up your table and reaching out for the bag of the familiar favourite deserts of a certain male. 

mitsuya nods, “thank you for your hard work y/n”. he flashes you a smile, eye slowly trailing to the white plastic bag dangling from your side as you waved goodbye, back facing him and walking away. “you’re going to see him aren't you?” you stopped in your tracks. “i know he never left you. plus you got a bag filled with dorayakis and taiyakis. that’s pretty obvious.” mitsuya chuckles. you always knew mitsuya to be perceptive but it never once occured to you that your best friend who is also your boss would ever catch on to the secret you’ve been hiding for twelve years. 

“how did yo-” 

“be careful y/n.” mitsuya waves you off, going back to whatever he was doing. a fond smile creeps onto your lips as you watched mitsuya working hard. “thank you mitsuya. for everything. really,” you whispered, but loud enough for the dual dyed coloured hair boy to look up again when you walked away. 

you made your way towards the secluded vip section of the club through swarms of body swaying around you until you saw the familiar tall pink haired male standing outside the golden door. 

“hey sanzu,” you greeted, barely audible over the loud booming music. you were about to push the door open when sanzu towers over you immediately, denying you of your entrance. you looked at sanzu in confusion, “it’s me, y/n. i’m here to see mikey.” you said loudly, voice straining to over power the background noise. “ i know. but mikey will not be seeing anyone right now.” he retorts back. 

surely mikey knew that you were visiting tonight right? after all it’s your anniversary date. you tilted your head at sanzu. not fully understanding what he’s saying. to say that you’re feeling absolutely livid would be an understatement right now. you’re too tired, angry and broken hearted to process anything anymore so you exploded. you only wanted to see your boyfriend. was that a very difficult request? 

“sanzu,” you said lowly, eyes staring blankly into his and as if on cue, you brought your knees to his precious manhood before making another high kick at him, bringing him down. it was a technique that mikey had taught you when you were younger and attending martial arts lesson together with baji. god you missed baji so much. 

“y/n because you’re short, you can do this instead.” mikey suggested smugly, kneeing poor baji’s little friend before swinging his legs much more harder than he intended to at baji’s profile when he bent forward. the main point was to get your opponent to lean forward so that your legs could reach high enough to create an impact on their skull. you eyes lit up in excitement, “wow! that’s so cool! let me try it!” you jumped impatiently. turning towards mikey to execute the exact same move. “wait n-! AHH,” mikey’s eyes widened, and before he knew it, you had completely knocked him over. 

that day, as mikey and baji lied down with pain still intact barely moving an inch, shinchiro only gave you a thumbs up and praised you for taking down the invincible mikey. you were the only one who could do that. 

“sanzu, i’ll see my boyfriend as and when i’d like to.” you said curtly, eyeing sending daggers at him lying on the ground before stepping over him to swing the door open, revealing your petite self to the other bonten’s executives and hostess who were staring at you in surprise. 

you don’t see anyone else but your lover who’s currently sitting in the center with two pretty hostess sitting by his side. you don’t hesitate and begun walking  towards him. “get your hands off my man.” you said calmly. there was tension in the air and from the corner of your eyes, you could see the executives slowly getting up to leave as if on cue. 

“aren’t you as stubborn as always,” he raises a brow as you settled down next to him, pouring the bag of dessert on the glass table in front of you. you smile softly, grabbing a packet of taiyaki and handing it to him before grabbing one for yourself too. “happy 14th anniversary mikey.” you mumbled softly before grabbing a bite.  14 years, that was how long you two had been together for. “mhm. happy 14th anniversary y/n.” mikey hums, allowing you lean in close to him and resting your head on his chest. 

you take in the scent of mikey for you knew that this is going to be the last time you’re going to be able to hold mikey close to you. you didn't want this moment to end but you were too tired to continue on and see what's going to happen the next when you go back to just another normal day. you held tightly to the gun you hid in your bag, shutting your eyes tightly. 

“hey mikey,” you called out. you never thought you’d see it again but you saw a flash of endearment in his eyes when you called him. “i love you so much, promise you’ll take care of yourself alright?” you smiled warmly before pulling the gun out of your bag and putting it against your head. 

god knows you tried. 

god knows you did your best and now you’re going home. 

bang!

[bakubub]

Best friend rigs the Secret Santa for Bakugo and yourself to get one another...

A/N: Hullo everybody!! This is part 2 (find part one HERE) of this Pinterest Prompt and part 3 will (hopefully) be the final part. I honestly thought this would be a 800 word fic but now we're barreling towards almost 5k all together whoops lol-

Warnings: Just a few swears here and there, SFW, its literally all Bakusquad shenanigans.

Word count: abt 1.5k, ENJOY <3

"Soooooo~ Who d'ya get for the cringle?" Kaminari asks, leaning back on his chair dangerously to look back at me, sitting on the desk behind him. I raise my eyebrows, since I can't just raise the one, and flick my pen expertly in my hand.

"Mr. Aizawa," I answered seriously. "I'm thinking of getting him another sleeping bag. The musty yellow one isn't really his colour."

Looking genuinely confused, Kaminari looks around to see if anyone else overheard our conversation.

I laugh at him, and kick his chair forward, causing him to shriek as he sits squarely on his butt. I look down to see a folded note on my desk, opening to read it as Mr Aizawa tells us to settle down;

Lover boy was TOTALLY just greasing off Kaminari for making you laugh. I think someone's still jealous from the whole sleeping incident...

Catching Mina's eye, I give her an I don't think so look, which she promptly rolls her eyes at. Its been a whole weekend since the 'sleeping incident', where I had woken up with Kaminari's arms wrapped around my waist and his head nestled on my stomach. Accidentally of course. We, along with Bakugo and Kirishima, had fallen asleep on the couch in the common room, talking late last Friday night.

It really wasn't a big deal... Kaminari apologised several times. I got over it, he got over it, and I don't see why Bakugo, whom Mina just loves to call 'lover boy', would even care.

Plus, I have bigger problems. Like what to get said lover boy for the Christmas Cringle we were supposed to be exchanging this Saturday. He's literally impossible to buy for. Well, I could always just buy him a new pair of shorts or something, but since I've had a crush on him since literally the first day of school, it needs to be perfect.

So far I've thought of a cookbook, an apron, a scarf since he's always wearing the brown one, or maybe even a matching beanie; then again his hair has such personality I don't even know if he CAN put a beanie over those suspiciously natural spikes...

"Hellooooo, come on, Aizawa dismissed us," Mina says, nudging my shoulder.

I snap out of my daze and gather my things, following out of the nearly empty classroom.

"Decided on what to get monsieur Hothead yet?" I sigh, already having predicted this question.

"Nope," I say, popping the p as we walk to the dorm rooms. "I'm thinking of maybe getting-"

"Hey girls, wanna meet at the common room at 6 for a rematch of UNO?" Kaminari asks, coming up from behind us and slinging an arm over my and Mina's shoulders like he always does.

"Yeah sure, we're down." Mina answers, pinching him in the side so he lets us out of his grasp. We duck away, laughing and continuing our banter, before I catch Bakugo's gaze.

"You coming too, Bakugo?" I ask, walking up next to him, ignoring my heart trying to escape its cage.

"Coming where?" He grumbles, still looking disgruntled and angry.

"We're playing UNO around 6 today in the common room. Come on, it'll be fun," I say, trying to persuade him into coming, since he never usually participates.

"HELL NO! I don't have time to waste, especially with you extras," He yells at me. I huff, rolling my eyes and continuing to ignore the feeling of my heart beating in my eyeballs, as I grumble, "you never do," and walk back next to Mina, who was now somehow in a water fight with Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero.

Overall certain that I didn't let my nerves peek through while talking to him, I don't register what's happening as Sero grabs Oijiro's water bottle out of his bag, unscrews the lid, then promptly dumps it over my head.

With Mina, Kirishima, Kaminari and even Bakugo gasping in the background, I wiped the water off my face, before realising my mascara had probably smudged all over my cheeks and glared at Sero, who was slowly backing away.

I practically growl before chasing him, blindly grabbing my own water bottle out of my bag and drenching him, messing up his styled hair which has him shrieking "sorry, I'm so sorry!" and has me cackling in sweet, sweet revenge.

---

"PLUS FOUR?! AGAIN KIRISHIMA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Mina screeches as she pounds Kirishima's arm from next to him, who is laughing and judging from his reaction, barely feeling her punches. I know from experience, that Mina punches hard. He has to be really tough not to show an inkling of pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just really have to win this one!" He says, shooting a guilty smile Mina's way. Maybe he just doesn't feel pain in general...? I stare at him with suspicion as Mina huffs and she rolls her eyes at him, promptly dropping a four plus for the next person in our circle, who just happened to be me.

"Hey! Not cool, hypocrite." I mutter.

"I had to get my anger out somehow. I'm pretending you're Kirishima. Go on, pick up those cards, you slimy rat," Mina says smugly.

Giving her a confused look at her weird logic, I continued the game, Shoji and Hagakure also having joined in half way.

Just as I'm about to announce UNO, Bakugo stomps through the common room and sits right in between myself and Mina, crossing his legs on the floor and leaning back on his two hands.

"BAKUBRO! YOU CAME!" Kirishima yells excitedly, Kaminari and Sero also whooping and cheering.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. I finished my work and came to see what you idiots were doing." He says, voice gruff but not screaming for once.

I raise my brows at him, and he scowls and looks the other way, not being able to face me after he so rudely rejected my invitation a few hours ago.

"Oh please, you just couldn't handle the FOMO." I say teasingly, smirking at him without fully turning my face so the others can hear.

Sero stifles a laugh and Kaminari looks confused before the dots connect and he also has his hand clamped around his mouth.

"She has a green 7," is all he says, a sadistic look of satisfaction overtaking his features. It takes a moment for all of us to realise what he just said.

Mina cackles as she changes the colour to red, effectively stopping me from winning the game.

Shooting him a dirty look, I lean over to grab another card, simultaneously elbowing him hard in the shin, which he doesn't even react to.

What is it with these guys and their weirdly high pain tolerance?

Ignoring him now, we continue the game, Kirishima practically slamming his last card on top of the deck. "I WON, I WON, man that was so MANLY," He celebrates as I see Mina rolling her eyes and silently fuming. I begin to shuffle and hand out the cards deliberately skipping Bakugo, which doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Oi, where are my cards?" He asks, annoyance evident in his tone as Kirishima continues to gloat in the background about how manly his win was and Kaminari complaining about how he never "gets the good cards." When I don't respond, Bakugo steals my cards from in front of me, leaning forward to play with the others.

Snarling, I grab my cards out of his hand, causing him to snarl back, until we're fighting for the 7 cards.

"What are you guys doing, there's a whole ass deck here, you know," Sero says, eyebrows raised and nudging Kirishima.

"These. Ones. Are. MINE." I gasp out, my knee coming around to jab him in his side as his hand pushes me down from my sternum. Oxygen knocked out of my lungs, I gasped for air as I tried to hold the cards out of his reach, my hero training kicking in as I snake my other arm around the back of his neck to hold him in an upside down headlock. Trying to push his forehead onto the ground, I give the cards to Mina, who laughs and takes them, after taking a photo of us.

Having apparently heard the camera click, Bakugo (after struggling a great deal might I smugly add) gets out of my head lock and zones in on Mina. "Delete that photo, Racoon Eyes," He snarls.

"Not in a million years. Awww, look Bakugo are you blushing?" She says, pointing at her phone.

Eyes widening and red creeping up his neck, Bakugo snatches the phone out of her hand and deletes the photo, before getting up and leaving.

"C'mon Bakubro, she's just joking," Kirishima says, following him out.

"Yeah man, you didn't even play a game yet," Sero adds.

"I HAVE STUFF TO DO!" He screams, seemingly going back to his old self.

"Didn't you just say that you finished your homework?" Kaminari asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

"SHUT IT, CHARGEBOLT! I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU," he says a tad too harshly, turning slightly to glare at him with bulging eyeballs. Kaminari closes his mouth and shuffles his cards, trying not to set him off again.

"Bakugo-" I start, but when he doesn't turn, I find myself letting him leave.

Staring dejectedly at Mina, she gives me a giddy smile and grabs my phone, going onto her messages and smirking as she shows me the photo he just deleted.

"I sent it to you as soon as I took it. Thank me later," she says, winking, as she gets up to leave, dragging Sero and Kaminari with her.

I look down at the slightly blurry photo, seeing me handing Mina the UNO cards under Bakugo with a desperate expression. He has his hand pressed down on my sternum, straddling my waist and looking down at me, with an unmistakable smile gracing his features. Unless that's just a new way of scowling.

The phone dims and all of a sudden I'm confronted with my own expression on the darkened screen.

A lovesick fool.

That's all I can see.

A/N: Ngl pretty proud of that ending. JUst in case I'm not as slick as I think I am, she meant herself and Bakugo, hehe <3

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

Find part 3 HERE

[ressjeon]

ghost of you | jhs

pairing: jung hoseok x female reader

summary: he keeps begging you to go, but you insist on staying

genre: childhood best friend!au, angst, slow burn, drama, little bit of fluff

warnings: implied smut (brief affair), swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 12k (whoops more than planned)

a/n: so this is my very first full fic whew. there’s been last minute changes so I procrastinated but do listen to the song of the same title by 5 Seconds of Summer while reading this :)

and since this is VERY late from his birthday i just decided to submit it to @houseofddaeng​​’s Happy Hobiuary event this year and i chose a comeback look with my favourite hair colour on him, this was from the Euphoria MV ❤️

Clearing your throat, you got the attention of everyone at the table. Now all eyes on you, you feel your confidence starting to falter. Who fucking cares, this monthly dinner with Hoseok's family is the best time for this.

"Um..so me and Hobi were thinking.." you eyed Hoseok beside you to help you continue explaining what you both have been planning for weeks.

"Y/N and I are thinking of getting a house together" Hoseok smiled back at you and you flushed.

"You wanna live together! Omg my ship is sailing!" Hoseok's sister Jiwoo is squealing while poking your sides. You just glared at her, eyeing her to stop just in case Hoseok catches on.

"N-no, not like that, we'll share a house near our campus" you clarified but the knowing look from your Mom is making you nervous, she can always read you. "Yeah, cause the dorms in uni are separated but we don't want to live apart" Hoseok chimed in cheerfully, putting an arm around your shoulder.

"Well then, of course. Who are we to stop you both" Hoseok's Dad smiled at you both and you felt his Mom's teasing eyes when you nuzzled into Hoseok's side. Your parents have not said anything and you contemplated asking, now anxiously holding Hoseok's hand beside you. His parents looked at yours hopefully and then your Dad finally decided to face you both.

"You both are now adults so do whatever you want" a look of surprise etched up on your face and you resisted to smile broadly, maintaining your cool exterior when you're actually screaming inside of happiness.

You can't help but think that this could possibly help you develop your relationship with Hoseok on another level.

.

After settling down, things are going well with you and Hoseok welcoming freshman year of university together. You're just glad that he never changed despite him gaining more friends because of his bright personality.

Meanwhile, you're the opposite. Literally people avoid you when they see you or seem hesitant every time you make a conversation which is bs so you eventually give up on making new friends. Hoseok once told you that you have this “hostile” aura, though he tried to convince you to still try but you don’t care anymore. Him has always been enough.

Most people wonder how you and Hoseok are best friends because of how opposite the two of you are. There is one thing that you and Hoseok share a hobby though, dancing. Which is why after the house was purchased, you both decided to transform the basement into a mini dance studio, it’s literally just a room with full wall mirrors and of course, only his family supported the idea.

"We'll pay you back after we graduate, promise!" you giggled excitedly, both of your hands clasping together, thanking Hoseok’s parents for being supportive. Finally you can dance freely now that you are out of your parents' lair, they were never supportive of you venturing in the arts anyways.

Though you haven't actually delved into dancing fully, Hoseok knows how good you are since every time he sees you secretly practicing, he always gets mesmerized with your moves. You've never taken any dance lessons and yet you're already this good, a natural hence why Hoseok decided that he’s gonna help you in going back to it fully this time.

"Let's choreograph a dance together" Hoseok beamed at you while you both are eating breakfast one morning.

"Wait what? Why all of a sudden?" you pouted, looking at him in confusion. Though his idea is amazing, you're not sure if you're good enough compared to Hoseok. He's dancing skills are out of this world with years of professional experience and you're just, well, you who only dances for fun.

"Why not? Y/N you're naturally talented you know, I don't know why you can't see it" Hoseok smiled warmly at you and reached out to hold your hand across the countertop. You almost choked with your toast when you looked at his eyes so you covered it with a cough.

"Pshh fine, be patient with me okay? I'm not as good as you" you jokingly glared at him, snatching back your hand. You hope that the shade of the morning sunlight is covering your blush cause you definitely felt your cheeks heating up.

Yeah you have feelings for him. Yeah you love him, so what? It's not like you can stop yourself in developing them. You tried but with a guy like Hoseok, that's impossible. Though you've been planning to confess, you just don't have the perfect timing yet.

.

After a few weeks, you are planning to confess to Hoseok tonight so you texted him to meet at your favorite restaurant at 8pm. You said it's your treat so he promised to be there, I mean he never breaks his promises anyways.

You're feeling jumpy for the first time, well it's different since it's Hoseok. After years of keeping your feelings, you're finally ready to tell him. Funny how brave you are in everything else except for this one, you smiled to yourself. You were early at the restaurant and laughed at yourself. Okay maybe you're too excited on what's going to happen tonight. Minutes passed after 8 and he still hasn't come so you readied yourself while waiting for him.

He's late, I mean you shouldn't be panicking since it's only been a couple of minutes but you can't help getting worried so you texted him. You mentally giggled, adoring the cute nickname you have for him that you only change when you’re alone. You always set it back to “Hoseok” afterwards in case he calls you in public, especially at uni.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi are you almost here?]

You didn't wanna be too pushy. One text is enough and you took a deep breath while waiting for him. The waiter stopped by but you dismissed him saying that your companion will be here any minute now.

45 minutes have passed and he's still not here. You waited for more and it’s now 9:30 so you’re agitated now.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi? Are you still coming?]

When you didn't get a reply, you smiled bitterly and just asked the same waiter to take out the food you ordered. He looked at you sympathetically but good thing he didn't say anything.

Arriving at your shared home, you noticed that the lights were off. So he’s not even home, where tf could he possibly be at this hour. Just when you were about to call him, you received a text from Hoseok but a guy named Jimin is  telling you that Hoseok is with them and that he would be staying the night at the boys’ dormitory.

So not only he forgot the formal dinner you prepared but he stood you up,  basically ditching you to be with his new friends. He broke his promise..

You’re wondering if this is only the beginning of him breaking his promises to you.

A few months after that night, you notice that there’s something changing in Hoseok. You barely see him anymore since he spends a lot of time now with his other friends, but at least he still comes home at night and treats you the same. You’ve been waiting for a perfect time but you don’t want to delay your confession any longer so you decided to corner him one night after dinner. 

“Hoseok, can we talk?” you muttered and he eyed you curiously. 

“About what? And why are you fidgeting?” he coaxes you on, raising his eyebrows.

You straightened yourself and reached out to hold both of his hands, clutching them tightly.

Then staring into his eyes, you poured all your emotions on them as you declared what’s been deep down your heart for so many years.

“I like you, Hoseok” you smiled lovingly at him while his eyes widened in complete shock. His silence along with puzzled eyes looking back at you is making your heartbeat faster every second of him not doing anything.

“Y/N..” his voice came out unsure, I mean his face gave it all so now you’re very nervous.He probably thinks you’re just playing around and you’re getting restless.

“Hoseok, I’m serious okay?” you try to sound determined though your confidence is slowly dissipating. 

Back in silence, you can tell he’s been trying to be careful with his words, maybe to try not to hurt you. God if he rejects you-

“I don’t know what to say, uhm..thanks?” if this is in another situation you would’ve thought how adorable he is scratching the back of his head.

Hoseok doesn’t know how to respond to you. He knows you’re usually upfront in most things but he didn’t expect this from you. He’s literally clueless on what to say but you’re his best friend so he trusts you. 

What the hell got into you to think that a confession would be so simple. Well, you just decided to break the usual “I’ve been in love with my best friend for so long but I don’t want to ruin our friendship” thing. Not that there’s wrong with that, it’s very hard for some people to do so. So here you are, just finished confessing your feelings to your best friend and for the first time you’re nervous around him.

“Was I supposed to say ‘you’re welcome’?” you huffed, trying to act dismissive. “So what’s your answer? Again I told you I wasn’t joking, I like you Hoseok”. He gulped, you only use his real name when you’re very serious but he literally thought you were trying to prank him earlier or something. 

“Uhm, can you give me some time?” he looks at you with hopeful eyes. 

Fuck. You’re making him uncomfortable. Fuck.

“Shit, Hobi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” he cuts you off before you can even continue. 

“No, no, it’s not that.. It’s just-” he paused and breathed deeply, gathering his thoughts.

“I totally understand if-” you’re already panicking given that you're now speaking faster than usual.

“I’m not really sure how to be in a relationship, there.” He blurted, letting out a deep sigh that made you pause. You didn’t expect he would be just honest about the real reason at the moment so you smiled at him.

“It’s okay Hobi, we can take it slow and-” you’re already saying too much but who cares, it’s not like he rejected you so there must be something, right?

“Look, um I can’t give you a real answer yet but I trust you so I want us to give a chance ‘kay?” his tone shifting softly while shuffling your hair, walking away outside after. 

You pouted but nodded anyways. Hoseok’s glad that he got out of the conversation smoothly, at least now he’s relieved since you’re back to calling him “Hobi”.

Honestly, he’s happy knowing about your feelings for him. Smiling brightly at the night sky outside in the backyard of your shared home, thinking how he made his ever-confident best friend nervous just for a confession.

A ding from his phone pulled him out from his reverie, 

 [Unknown: We need to talk. Answer me or else she’ll know ;)]

Hoseok already knows who this is, given that he had blocked her numbers for a while now. He just didn’t expect that she’ll go this far, even going after you now. He just hopes this would be like the other warnings that he was able to handle.

[Unknown: image.]

[Unknown: Still not gonna answer me? You have a day <3]

He couldn't move from where he’s standing, staring at his phone in shock. This couldn't be happening, despite his confusion earlier you actually made his day better (as usual) but he doesn't know if he will be for yours after this anymore. Still staring at the text, Hoseok couldn’t think straight after what he just read. He’s hoping it’s not real, praying to all the gods out there that it's not what he thinks it is. 

[Him: Fine. Let’s meet at the nearest cafe, don’t you dare do something]

[Unknown: Yay! Can’t wait to see you, good night <3]

Retreating for the night he passed by your bedroom, only to see you asleep on your desks with some unfinished homework and he smiled, you’ve always looked beautiful even when you’re sleeping. He chuckled by himself at how adorable you are, with your habit of not locking your door when you're busy.

Waiting at the said cafe felt like eons for Hoseok. He's mostly nervous because of the texts, especially that image. Getting absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize the pair of arms that’s latching on his shoulders from behind and he jerked in surprise. 

"Hobi! Did you miss me?" a high-pitched voice startled him and looked up sideways to see a pretty girl with an innocent looking face, ironically."Don’t call me that" he released a defeated sigh, yanking his arms from her hold. 

Ahn Sohye, the girl who’s been going after him since the start of the school year that he has been desperately avoiding. Hoseok's bracing himself to whatever craziness she has in for him this time, doing his best to focus in order to get the clarification he’s been wanting.

“Awee why that face? And what? Cause Y/N’s the only one allowed to call you that?” Sohye scoffed, a tone of jealousy in her voice. Hoseok just frowned at her and was about to leave but her expression quickly changed, a sly smile towards him with warning eyes.

“Look!” her demeanour suddenly changed as she eagerly handed him a printed picture, and time stopped immediately.

An ultrasound picture.

No. 

no,no,no,no.

“What the fuck is this?” he hissed at her, incredulous eyes now mixed with anger.

“Our little one of course” she squealed excitedly, batting her lashes at him.

“Stop fucking around with me Sohye, this isn’t funny anymore” Hoseok’s usually calm but his patience have been tested for weeks already and it’s getting worse but this one is beyond anything the girl has done before. 

“Why are you so concerned anyways?” Hoseok gave her a look and she smiled mischievously. He went silent, eyes skeptical.

“Ah, her.” she quipped, a smile not faltering and that made Hoseok uneasy. 

He’s having a hard time adjusting to everything. Is he really going to be a dad? Not that he hates kids but why does it have to be now? After you confessed? Everything’s been going well for him, for you both.

“This is the last straw Sohye, don’t you dare” Hoseok grits his teeth. You can’t find out about this. You just can’t. The memory of your saddened expression because of his lack of response suddenly flashed through his eyes. He doesn't wanna let you down any more than you already are.

“Why not? Won’t she support you? You guys are best friends after all” she mused. Yes, both you and Hoseok have been since you were little, but something definitely shifted from the platonic feelings he had for you after that night. He still wants to wait it out to be sure, but it’s definitely more than how normal friends would feel and apparently you are already feeling it way longer than him and he didn’t even ask when so now he feels way worse than before.

“You don’t understand, we-” Hoseok paused. He doesn’t want her to know, though there’s no point since Sohye seems to be getting the message already. He just didn’t want to show any signs that will confirm her suspicions. 

“It’s not mine. No way in hell that’s mine” Hoseok’s rambling to himself in distress, he doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince other than himself.

“Of course it’s yours, that party remember? 2 months ago?” she cooed at him. His eyebrows are creasing together trying to rack his memory of what party Sohye is talking about. 

“I don’t think you would remember any of it, you were very drunk” she giggled and that caused Hoseok to pale. That one party was hosted by one of Taehyung’s friends where he got so drunk that he didn’t remember anything the next day.

“No, that’s impossible. Taehyung told me I didn’t do anything rash that night”. Hoseok’s fidgeting right now. He’s usually careful, but that night his tolerance seems to get the best of him. Then he started remembering bits of pieces back...

“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me to the bed you know” she smirked, winking at him.“Why the fuck would I want you in bed with me?” he noticed his voice getting louder, as he was looking around the cafe people are already giving weird looks at their table. 

“Here, watch” her smile, still annoyingly on like all of what she’s been planning this whole time has finally come to fruition. 

A video. A fucking video taken by Sohye herself, but camera was on Hoseok only for the entire time. Of him calling her your name. Of him babbling about what he feels when you’re around. Of him letting all his emotions out in the open. He thought she was you, he was only seeing you when he’s drunk.

He’s speechless. He can’t think of what to respond to that one now. Sure the pictures can easily be dismissed but this video, this damn video is making him more helpless than he’s ever been already.

“So you see Hoseok, you can’t run away from me now” still frozen in his place he didn’t even swat her hand that she put them on top of him.

.

Meanwhile, you were just outside the cafe witnessing all of these happening. It’s not like you followed him here, you just happened to pass by since you’re going for groceries which is on the next block. 

You know your best friend from the back of your hand. You can recognize him anywhere since you both have been inseparable ever since. So when you noticed his figure inside the cafe with someone, your heart clenched. 

“Is he on a date?” you murmured to yourself. Is he? But why? You just confessed last night didn’t you? Is that why he didn’t give you an answer? Cause he’s already seeing someone and just didn’t want to hurt you? You recoil at the thought of him subtly rejecting you.

Hoseok couldn’t help but look sideways through the glass wall beside him to calm down and noticed someone standing there, looking straight at him.

He instantly jerked when he recognized it’s you.

You. Standing there, facing him and Sohye but now hurriedly leaving. He yanked his hands from her hold and immediately busted out through the door, hoping to catch you.

You don’t know why you started walking faster the moment he looked back at you from inside the cafe. Why the fuck were you even so obvious? He must think you’ve been spying on him or something.

“Y/N!” his voice is so loud calling you, but agitated. Hoseok doesn’t know why he suddenly has an urge to explain to you. To explain that what you saw was nothing to worry about.

You were fiddling your phone, pretending to look for something online when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Composing yourself, you faced him with a “surprise” look.

“Hobi, hi! I was going to get some groceries, do you want something specific?” you’ve put up a great acting which made Hoseok wonder if he was only imagining what he saw earlier. 

“Uh, just buy my usual favorites hehe” his voice full of uncertainty. So he did really see you earlier lurking at him and his date. And Hoseok being Hoseok, didn’t confront you about it.

“Hobi! Wait for me” a woman’s voice suddenly interrupted you both and Hoseok paled as soon as he saw Sohye walking towards you both.

Please not now, please not yet-

“Oh you’re with someone” you’re trying to keep your voice neutral despite wanting to scream in frustration at the moment. You’re not gonna cry, you were never a crier anyways. No fucking way you’ll cry in front of Hoseok and his date. 

You feel betrayed, even if Hoseok doesn’t owe you anything. It’s not like he answered you, did he? So he can do anything he wants to do, go on dates even if you already told him how you feel.

“Y-Y/N, it’s-” before Hoseok could explain the girl already gave out her hand to shake yours.

“It’s Sohye, Hoseok’s girlfriend”. She smiled at you, a knowing one. You know her of course, she’s the majority of Hoseok’s daily complaints to you since the beginning of the semester last year so now you’re really wondering how they are together now. 

You stiffened. Your expression must be wavering since Hoseok tried to reach for you but she's already clinging into his arms to stop him. 

You can’t crumble like this, you already looked pathetic from confessing to someone who’s already taken. But then it’s not like you know right? Hoseok would’ve told you the moment you confessed but he didn’t so maybe they JUST got together earlier inside?

 “Uh Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N” you’re trying your best to show your most kindest smile even though they came out strained since you’re already dying inside.“Oh I know, Hobi told me a lot of things about you” she smiled at you, a feign one you see.

“Y/N-” you decided to cut him off, clearly you’ve interrupted something very important for them.

“I’m sorry I really have to go now, see you at home later Hoseok” you didn’t even look at his eyes and just turned away without letting him respond.

Hoseok’s distressed. He just hurt you again, and your expression earlier was even worse than the last time he saw you with it. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He’s a fucking coward and he knows it. He’s too nice to the point that his indecisiveness is causing the most important person of his life in pain.

“Why did you tell her that you’re my girlfriend when you’re clearly not? He barked but Sohye just laughed at him mockingly.

“Are you kidding me? You’re the father of my child so obviously you’re my boyfriend now” she retorted and Hoseok scoffed. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend and you better clarify it with Y/N”. He’s on edge right now, he knows what you’re feeling and he knows for sure that you’re mad at him.

“Anyways, I’ll update you later bye” and she kissed him on the cheek. 

The thing is, you saw everything though. After turning around when you’re supposed to be going to the convenience store, you hid at the corner of the street. To watch them, to torture yourself even more.And when you saw Sohye left a kiss on his cheek while he’s still lost in thought, you finally left. 

Arriving at the convenience store, you pulled your hoodie up trying to cover your face as much as you can. Don’t want any strangers looking at you weirdly while shopping with tears. After grabbing necessities, you proceeded to the meat section to get pork slices since Hoseok loves bulgogi. Your tears started to fall through after staring at the couple of sliced pork packs that reminded you of when you and him were having a picnic at the park.

You remember Hoseok doing the barbecues and you just stared at him the whole time, until this day you still wonder if he knew about you ogling him before. Staring at him while he’s cooking made you realize how in love you are with this boy. Not because of his handsome face but because of how he is naturally him. How his smile always brightens you up. How his sweet and caring nature made it really hard for you to quell what you feel for him anymore.

After Sohye left, Hoseok immediately went to the convenience store and saw you at the cash register, ready to pay. He cuts you off before you give out your card, “Here, I’ll pay” with a crooked heart shaped smile directly at you. Though you noticed the simmering guilt in his eyes.

“No Hobi, you paid last time so just let me” your voice came out colder than you intended it to be that made Hoseok more guilty.

The cashier was looking at you both and snickered “So who’s going to pay? I’m all for equality and shit but just decide. You young couples are always complicated” she groaned.

Both you and Hoseok are stunned with the lady’s insinuation, well obviously you can’t believe you were still blushing so you're thankful that your face is semi-covered.

“Uh-” you were about to explain that you’re not a couple but Hoseok cut you out of it. “Me, I’m paying” he smiled at her and she offered a satisfied shrug, murmuring something about how “gentleman” Hoseok is. Why didn’t he correct her? 

Hoseok offered to carry all the bags but you insisted. He must be really feeling pity for you right now. After leaving the convenience store, you both were quiet. Way different than before where you both usually banter and throw jokes at each other when walking to home.

This awkwardness needs to end.

“So, is that why you couldn’t answer me before?” you turned to him, trying to sound bold. You just want to know the truth, since he already lied to you.

“Uh no, actually-” cutting him off of his explanation you scoffed. Listen to his explanation Y/N just listen..

“You should’ve been honest with me you know, is it really hard for you?” your voice came out weaker. Since when did you both start keeping secrets to each other? Sure you do harmless small lies but not as big as this. 

“Yes, I was and Sohye isn’t my girlfriend” his voice rising with panic. Hoseok’s feeling it again, the need to clarify things to you. Maybe because he now knows what you feel? Or maybe because he just doesn't want to hurt you even more.

“You didn’t have to lie, I saw you both at the cafe clearly on a date” you stated coldly.

“That wasn’t it, you’re misinterpreting everything” his voice went quieter, now pleading.

“It’s alright Hoseok, can we drop the subject now” you glared at him and walked faster towards your shared home. 

Hoseok just sighed defeatedly, deciding to give you space since your mind is really closed for any explanation.

.

You wonder who’s going to “cook” since you can’t cook for shit but Hoseok’s pretty good though he’s very humble about it. Now that you both are in tension with each other, you were about to offer to buy take out when he beats you out of it again.

“I’ll cook, just let me Y/N” mimicking what you said earlier to him. Entering your bedroom, you gave out a big exhale to calm down and rationalize everything.

You’re being irrational and immature about the whole situation and it’s not fair for Hoseok. The smell of bulgogi made you come out of your room to the kitchen where he was preparing early dinner for you both.

A surprised gasp came out of your mouth the moment you saw how the dining table was arranged to like that of a formal date. With the fine plates and cutleries that you even forgot where you put, the mini candle light that you gifted him from last Christmas and the vase of daisies, your favourite.

“Hobi-” you started but he put his hands up to a stop.

“No, let me explain everything please” his usually warm and happy eyes look up at you sadly.

“Okay..”

“First of all, I’m sorry okay? I know you’re hurting already but please believe me when I tell you that me and Sohye are never together. She’s not my girlfriend and I didn’t lie in any means that night.” he’s fidgeting now because of nervousness.

“Hobi, I should be the one saying sorry to you for acting like that. You didn’t deserve it” you told him, voice lacing with emotion. You really grow weak when it comes to him.

Hoseok smiled with relief at you, you never show this emotional side to other people except him. He opened his arms wide and you didn’t hesitate to accept his embrace.

You stayed like that for a while, you being way calmer now because of his embrace and him running his hands through your hair while swaying you both slowly. As if doing this wouldn’t make you forgive him or something.

“Come, let’s eat. It's getting cold and oh, I cooked your favourite. I’m also making up for the dinner I missed last time” his usual sunny demeanour is back though an apologetic smile appeared on his heart-shaped lips.

“Thank you Hobi though this is too much for an apology, I can never hate you for so long” you chuckled, playfully hitting his arms.

After your make-up dinner, the atmosphere of your shared house went back to normal and you both decided to end the night with a movie.

Cuddling with him has always been your favorite. You just love skinship in general but you would never let anyone know that. You’re only like this to Hoseok anyways.

You both are debating again about the movie when you can feel the vibrations from his phone inside his pocket.

Hoseok grimaced the moment he looked at the name appearing on his phone. He looked at you but you didn’t seem to notice his reaction.

You did. Of course you did, it’s Sohye. His reaction gave it away but you pretended to be still immersed in the movie.

“Uh, I need to take this. Be right back hehe” he ruffled your hair with a strained smile and left to go outside. Props to him for being considerate, he’s trying to protect your already broken heart. 

“What” he barked on the phone as soon as he answered Sohye’s call. 

“Don’t snap at me Hoseok, did you tell her? She’s pretty down” she mused with fake sympathy on her voice.

“Is that really the only reason why you’re calling me?” Hoseok’s annoyed. This night was supposed to be a make-up night for you both and now she’s ruining it.

"No of course not, my parents want to meet you". Hoseok's blood ran cold. Sohye's parents..does this mean?

"Hey, are you even listening?!" Sohye screeched on the phone which made Hoseok put the phone away from his ears.

"Yeah I am, what the fuck do you mean meet your parents? No way" he responded with disbelief. He couldn't even wrap his head in the fact that he got someone pregnant accidentally when he was drunk and now he's already going to meet Sohye's parents?

"You will, I told them what happened and they want to meet the father of their soon to be grandchild. End of discussion" she stated coldly.

"Sohye-" before he can even try to plead to move things slow, the line went dead already.

An exhausted sigh came out of him with the new problem he's going to face from now on. Fuck.

Looking back at the house, he saw you at the doorway looking worriedly at him so he smiled to ease you.

Something's wrong. What's happening with him and Sohye? You didn't hear anything but you saw Hoseok's reaction to whoever he's calling.

You stopped him before he could continue.

"Is everything alright? you're trying to ease the obvious distress on his face but as usual he just shrugged. 

"Yeah, don't worry it wasn't Sohye" his response seems flat and he couldn't look at your eyes so you're already suspecting that he's lying. 

You pretended you didn't notice his lies and smiled back at him saying good night and retreats to your room.

.

You definitely noticed the changes in him after that night. He looks defeated and troubled every time you see him. Is this your fault? Did your confession cause all of this? But he would’ve told you differently, no?

It’s a miracle you’re catching him eating breakfast in the kitchen since had been avoiding you. “Hey Hobi you alright?” that seemed to shake him out of his thoughts. 

“Y/N, hey you scared me” he chuckled awkwardly. 

“Hobi what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right? I won’t judge”. He looks at you thoughtfully though you can't quite figure out what his eyes are telling you.

“I’m fine Y/N, just busy these days. You know how serious Yoongi is in this songwriting club that we just started” disappointment crossed your features at his dismissal of your concern. Maybe he just needs space, but it’s not like you’ve been clinging to him more than usual after your confession. Everything’s normal, even better, at least for you.

Hoseok flinched when he saw your disheartened face. He’s been trying to act like nothing’s going on even though he’s been frustrated on what to do next. He’s literally helpless. He needs to let this out to Namjoon since he knows he’s rational and would know what to do in any kind of situation.

“Oh okay, just tell me when you’re ready hmm?” you hoped that sounded less disappointed of him not opening to you. He didn’t even look at you when you hollered to say goodbye for class.

He couldn't look at you since he's afraid he'll slip up. He has to settle himself first before telling you. He wouldn't want to cause you any more pain so he needs to be prepared.

.

One morning, you woke up with the silent house. Maybe Hoseok went for an early jog so you helped yourself in the kitchen where you saw the breakfast that he already prepared.

“Had to leave early, here's your breakfast! :)”  - Hobi <3

Ugh, why are you still not used to him being sweet when he was always like this? Okay maybe things just magnified once you realized your feelings for him.

You wonder where he went though. Sohye? Nah, you don't think so.You both just went back to normal so you're not going to be the reason to put you both in that awkward situation again.

You dismissed your thoughts and decided to do full house cleaning since it's the weekend. And hey, you kinda miss cleaning so-

The doorbell rang and you dropped your cleaning supplies to check. That's strange, you didn't order anything so it must be Hoseok's.

He's nervous. Scratch that, he's fucking terrified of meeting Sohye's parents. Not only that, he lied to you again. This one just an addition to the rising amount of lies he now seems easily to do to his best friend.

"Just relax, they're gonna love you" Sohye's trying to calm him down by caressing his arms but he pulled away.

"Are you sure that's even mine? How do I fucking know for sure?" he hissed and Sohye whined.

"Would I fucking involve my parents if this isn't serious? You didn't know the shit I went through after they found out" her voice came out meekly which surprised him.

Hoseok paused. He's been too absorbed of what's happening to him to the point that he didn't even think of what Sohye is feeling for all of this.

Sure she annoyed the fuck outta him but if this baby she's carrying is actually his, then Sohye's going to be one of his responsibilities too.

"What? I- I thought they were supportive Sohye" his voice is calm compared to the usual harshness and this startled her.

"We're still in university, this pregnancy will delay my graduation so duh" she tried to be dismissive about it but Hoseok can see the subtle troubled look in her eyes.

When they reached the Ahn residence, Hoseok's heartbeat seemed to multiply even more. Sohye intertwined their hands and he didn't bother stopping her because he couldn't really think of anything right now.

Sohye’s parents welcomed them both and guided them to the living room where they’ll discuss the “future”. Hoseok couldn’t help but feel that he needs to make a good impression to Sohye’s parents otherwise.

“Hello, Mr and Mrs. Ahn I’m Jung Hoseok” Hoseok bowed and smiled though he still can’t meet their eyes with his own.

“Oh you’re so polite and warmingly charming” Mrs. Ahn mused with an endearing voice.

“So you are the one who knocked up my daughter” Mr. Ahn spat, eyes now glaring at Hoseok and he played with the scrutinizing eyes.

“Dad, can you please not scare him?” Sohye shrieked, shielding Hoseok from her father.

“She’s right sweetie, calm down hmm? Hoseok’s seem to be a good boy” Hoseok is kind of relieved that at least Mrs. Ahn is nicer to him than the latter.

“So when’s the wedding date?” 

Everyone went silent as soon as Mr. Ahn dropped the million dollar question.

Mrs. Ahn looked intently at the both of them while She's giving expectant looks to Hoseok who can’t seem to remove his gaze from the floor.

Finally after a long inhale of breath, Hoseok raised his eyes to face Mr. Ahn .

“With all due respect,”

“You ARE marrying my daughter am I correct?” Mr. Ahn cutting him off made him falter but he has to man up now. This isn’t something he can run away from anymore.

“Dad, me and Hobi still wanted to graduate,” Sohye stated. 

“But you both will have a child soon so it’s better to get married now before your graduation” Mrs. Ahn added, her demeanour now getting serious.

Hoseok’s panicking right now but he doesn’t care anymore if it looked obvious as he was trying to find alternative ways to escape this route, surely there has to be other than marriage. 

This will ruin everything that he's planned for himself and well, you. The thought of you made Hoseok winced.

You who he's already hurting

You who loves him for as long you could remember 

You who do not know about any of this

You who is-

"Hoseok!" hands tugging his arms made him come back to reality where Sohye's been trying to get his attention.

"Huh?"

"What's your answer going to be? Mr. Ahn and Hoseok gulped.

"I-um I'll marry her" his voice came out stable which surprised him. Is he really gonna be doing this? Get married? He's not even ready but how about Sohye? 

The thought of Sohye keeping their child from him if he ever refuses made him convinced himself that he's doing the right thing.

"Really? Omg that's great!" Sohye squealed along with her mother sharing the happiness with Hoseok's decision while Mr. Ahn was looking at Hoseok with knowing eyes.

"Come along" Sohye's father gestured him to their mansion's garden and now the nervousness is back on Hoseok's veins.

"Sir-"

"You don't love my daughter, I know.I can see it, I'm not blind kid"

Hoseok gasped lightly. Well he shouldn't be surprised since his expressions have always been obvious. Dammit why can't he be better in acting?

"I-yes you're right" he's been trying to calm down but he couldn't stop his legs from fidgeting.

"But you're marrying my daughter regardless" Mr. Ahn wondered.

"It's the right thing to do" he responded firmly which surprised the older man.

Silence ruled the both of them until Mrs. Ahn called in for lunch.

.

You opened your door to a mailman delivering what seems to be baby supplies. Huh?

"Uhm sorry, did you get the wrong address? the mailman stared back at you warily before showing you the receipt that displays Hoseok’s name.

“This is Mr. Jung Hoseok’s residence is it not?” you were caught off guard to the sassiness of the mailman so you grabbed the boxes he was holding.

“Yes, thank you” you offered an embarrassing smile.

“You’re welcome and congrats by the way” he replied while eyeing the boxes and immediately left.

You stood there for a while trying to process what the mailman just said. He thought you’re Hoseok’s wife or something? He thought you’re pregnant? Wait.

Baby supplies. Why would Hoseok need baby supplies?

And then it struck you, 

Sohye.

Your heart shattered with the revelation that you almost dropped the boxes. Why? Why would Hoseok lie to you again? You both just made up and now this?

He confuses tf out of you. He says he doesn’t wanna hurt you but here he is, hurting you even more each day.

Fuck, you feel pathetic. Bet your homegirls back in uni’s gonna laugh at how much you’ve become weak just because of a boy.

But he’s not just some boy, 

He’s your best friend,

And the love of your life

But lately with the lies and secrets, you’re not even sure if you know him anymore.

The lunch with the Ahn family consisted of talking about the wedding plans, all seems to be a blur to Hoseok as he just keeps nodding to whatever they say to him.

“Hobi, honey, when do you think is the perfect date?” Sohye grasps his arm which makes him turn to her and he’s trying not to barf with the endearment she just called him because her parents are around. 

“Uh-idk I have to talk to my folks first” he replied nervously which made both Sohye’s parents focus on him.

Fuck.

“Yeah he didn’t know about it so take it easy” Sohye whined at her parents.

“And besides, I’m not even sure if that baby is mine” he added. The sudden accusatory remark towards Sohye changed the atmosphere, cold all of the sudden and Hoseok immediately regretted the words that came out from him. 

Where in the fucking world did he even get the confidence to say out loud what’s been bugging him in this situation.

“What did you just say?” Mr. Ahn growled, actually now getting angry. Sohye went rigid beside Hoseok and speechless and Mrs. Ahn let out a surprised gasp.

Shit, it’s now or never.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t trust anything that comes from your daughter, seeing as how she’s been chasing and threatening me since the beginning of the school year” he stated, voice hard while glaring at Sohye knowingly.

“How dare you insult us in our own home?” Mrs. Ahn yelled at him. Hoseok’s confidence faltered, vanishing but he stood on his ground.

“I’m serious, I won’t marry her until I know for sure if it’s mine” Hoseok’s proud that his voice came out stable.

“Sohye, why don’t you guide Hoseok out” Mr.Ahn stated calmly which made Hoseok nervous again, the old man must have felt betrayed given how Hoseok suddenly changed his mind after their talk earlier.

The table was silent until Sohye stood up wordlessly and grabbed Hoseok towards the outside of their mansion.

Before they could even reach the gate, a sudden hand landed on Hoseok’s left cheek.

“Fuck you Hoseok” Sohye grits her teeth, eyes with fury while looking at him intently. 

No lie, that slap hurts but Hoseok didn’t even care because his eyes were on the gate.

On you.

And you’re in rage now that you witnessed what just happened and Hoseok knows how protective you are of him.

The lack of response caused Sohye followed his gaze, now on you and she laughs, hysterically.

You were already walking towards them with that furious expression, the one that actually scares Hoseok.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TO SLAP HIM YOU BITCH” you screamed with fury the moment you reach the both of them and was about to grab Sohye but Hoseok stopped you just in time. 

“Y/N stop!” Hoseok’s trying to stop your arms that are reaching Sohye who’s still laughing, clearly amused by your outburst. She wonders if you already know but judging by Hoseok’s anxious eyes looking back at her, she knew it was the latter.

Well, what a perfect time.

“Oh Y/N, what are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you” Sohye smiled at you mockingly, obviously trying to get into your skin and you’re falling for it.

“Cut the crap you bitch, how dare you-” you were about to attack again and actually almost succeeded because you actually caught her arm when-

“She’s pregnant Y/N stop!” Hoseok shouted which made you froze from flailing your arms around and you jerked in shock.

The devastated expression that emerged from your beautiful face made Hoseok’s heart lurched. He didn’t have the intention of telling you this way, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

“W-What?” your mind went blank. You came here expecting an explanation from Hoseok about the baby supplies package you received earlier. Why is he so goddamn good at hurting his best friend? No this is a joke, this has to be.

“Yes, Y/N I am pregnant and Hoseok’s the father” Sohye squealed, looking at you with those triumphant eyes with a slick smile. Wait, does she know of your feelings?

You averted your eyes to Hoseok now that the truth is out. You were hoping for a different reaction but the moment his eyes met yours, they’re full of shame. Fuck, it really hurts coming from him.

The realization finally crept into your mind with everything that's been happening to Hoseok ever since the night of your confession.

Sohye, avoiding you, going somewhere without telling you..it all makes sense now. But what's not making sense is how he kept lying to you all this time.

"Y-YN-" Hoseok is like a deer caught in headlights, guilty eyes that are now morphing into full of panic. He knows you, does he really though? He doesn't even know himself anymore.

You're usually composed, especially with other people around. You're that kind of person who remains calm even in rough commotions. But it's totally different when it involves the man you cherish and love..

And before you could reply, a middle aged couple emerged behind Hoseok who reminded you of Sohye and remembered that you're in their premises, the Ahn residence.

"What is going on here?" Mrs.Ahn eyed the three of you suspiciously, primarily staring at you. Ah, the stranger.

"Nothing Mom, this is Y/N, Hoseok's best friend" Sohye smiled sarcastically to you with those knowing eyes, challenging you to continue.

Embarrassment filled you once you came back to reality and snatched your arms from Hoseok's grasp. Breathing deeply, you tried to compose yourself before looking up at both of Sohye's parents.

"Really? I thought she IS his girlfriend given the fact that he had refused to marry you" Mr.Ahn stated coldly, still eyes on Y/N.

Hoseok turned around to face Sohye's parents, thinking of putting his arm around you but hesitated. 

He knows you're mad at him so he opted to move slowly in front of you, trying to protect you from the scrutinizing eyes of Sohye's parents. Noticing this you raised your chin and looked directly into Mr. Ahn's eyes.

"No, I'm not his girlfriend but he's one of the most important people in my life as I am to him so whatever situation you've put him through, I need to know" you seethed, eyes full of determination though the phrase "not his girlfriend" almost distracted you. 

You're surprised your voice came out confident despite the nervousness that might be etched now on your face.

"Well young lady, we were just talking with your friend about wedding preparations but seems like he's changing his mind" Mrs. Ahn glared at Hoseok.

"I already told you that I have to talk to my family first and figure out what really happened that night. I'll update you as soon as I can, I swear" he hurriedly explained, nervously looking back at you to gauge your reactions. 

"Alright then, we hope to hear from you soon". Mr. Ahn replied coldly, his eyes landing on Y/N and that made Hoseok uneasy.

Sohye's parents went back inside and you stepped back from behind Hoseok with a stoic expression, in no way you'll show Sohye how affected despite of your suspicion that she knows already.

"Brave of you to come here Y/N, but props you both are fun to watch" she chuckled and you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction so you fought yourself, bitch.

"I'm just fetching Hoseok and since I think everything's done here, we're leaving" you turned around, not waiting for any response from the both of them. You felt hurried steps behind you,trying to catch up but you didn't bother.

Inside the car, the silent tension that surrounds the both of you is deafening. Hoseok nibbled his lips anxiously, feeling your anger from the revelation earlier. It's his fault so he has to settle this down before arriving home.

"Y/N I'm sor–"

"You lied to me, again" you cut him off with a blank expression, tone contemptuous.

"I know but–"

"We promised each other after that night that there would be no lies anymore" you bristled.

"I didn't wanna hurt you more than I already am okay?!" he blurted out, eyes turning glassy. Hoseok's trying to take a deep breath to stop himself from tearing up. 

You sneered and didn't bother to respond,the nerve of him to be upset in this situation.

"I'll sleep at Namjoon's" he mumbled meekly and you quickly dropped him at his friend’s house.

“Good night Y/N” he inhaled sharply when you didn’t respond or even looked back at him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, exiting the car with a gloomy expression.

You waited on your seat for a while, trying to hold in every emotion that has been building until he was further away. Hands turning white as you grip the steering wheel, you took a deep breath and started bawling your eyes out in pain.

In excruciating pain. What’s going to happen between you and Hoseok now? All your hopes of a future together are now shattered. It was going so well, you confessed and he gave you a chance and now this. 

.

To Namjoon’s surprise, it was a miserable Hoseok who’s standing in front of his dorm room instead of the japchae delivery he’s been expecting. He didn’t ask for more and stepped aside to let his friend in.

“Alright man what happened?” Namjoon asked worriedly and Hoseok’s tears welled up in his before exhaling deeply.

“She knows Joon” Hoseok whispered, trying to stop his tears and Namjoon sat down on the couch urging his friend to continue.

“Everything happened so fast..Y/N was going after Sohye after she saw her slap me so I had to admit the truth right there” he felt his throat closing up when he recalled your crushed reaction earlier. How he wishes he could’ve told you in a different situation.

"She'll find out eventually though" another voice replied, and Hoseok turned his head back to see another person coming in the living room. Immediately recognizing Namjoon's roommate he walked up to him and hissed,

"You told me nothing happened that night!" he yelled and poor Taehyung grabbed Hoseok's arm that's on his collar in an attempt to calm him down.

Namjoon immediately stood up in panic and rushed towards both boys, struggling to get Hoseok off from Taehyung.

"Hobi, hey, calm down" Namjoon spoke calmly and Hoseok let go of Taehyung instantly.

"Hyung, I'm sorry I swear the only time I saw you was when we were drinking and the morning after. Jungkook told me you left with someone so I thought that was Y/N coming to pick you up" the younger man reasoned with fear, knowing how Hoseok gets when he's absolutely angry.

"Well it wasn't, it was Ahn Sohye and we slept together apparently" he answered slowly, more calmer now. What's the point of blaming other people when it already happened, it's going to change anything.

Only Namjoon knew at the beginning as soon as Hoseok heard the news and told him immediately, asking for help. Meanwhile the rest of his friend group didn't know about it until, well starting now.

"Stay for the night, you're always welcome here anyways" Namjoon patted Hoseok's shoulders softly and grabbed Taehyung to set up for dinner, which just arrived when they heard a knock from the door.

"Thanks Joon, and sorry for my outburst earlier Tae" he shuffled the younger's hair affectionately.

Hoseok wasn't there in the morning and a few mornings after that. You debated to ask his sister if she knew about this whole thing or what. She could've known and just didn't want to tell you to spare your feelings but you didn't care.

Calling Jiwoo 언니..

"Hello? Y/N?" she answered cautiously. Ah, always obvious just like her little brother. 

"So you knew" you muttered passively. How could she? You both are like sisters from different mothers.

"Don't be mad please, I just found out too!" voice laced with alarm.

When you didn't reply she then proceeded to explain to you that Hoseok did go to his family to tell them the entirety of the situation. Why didn't he text you to meet there? Despite what happened, you would've been by his side, supporting him because that's what best friends do.

But then you remember last night and suddenly your anger resurfaced and you ended the call immediately, getting ready to leave only to be greeted by Seokjin at the door.

"Good morning" he smiled at you, filled with compassion.

"They sent you didn't they?" you snarled, frowning at his handsome face as you stepped aside to let him in.

"Hoseok actually since you know, you can't cook. He just wants to make sure you get a proper breakfast" he mused, rummaging the kitchen for ingredients.

"How sweet of him" you replied sarcastically, taking a seat at the kitchen counter with both hands on your face to cover your expression from Jin.

"Hey give him a break, all this is not easy for him too" he stated solemnly, giving you a serious look, placing the waffles and omelet that he just cooked.

You glared at him and started eating silently. Seeing him sit in front of you, you know he's looking at you closely deciphering your current emotions.

"I'm fine" you stated as you looked up at him and though his eyes widened at your lack of sadness, his eyes are still skeptical.

"No, you're not. We heard what happened" he answered with caution. You almost faltered but you remained composed, acting dismissive as usual.

"I AM fine, drop it Seokjin" you jeered. Seokjin wanted a reaction from you so there you have it, only anger though. He texted the rest that you seem to be alright and that they'll meet with others soon.

"Hurry, we're going somewhere" he quickly cleaned up the table and gestured to you to follow him outside. You grumbled but agreed anyways.

"If you're bringing me to Hoseok don't bother" you glanced at him blankly before looking outside the car window, obviously you don't want to seek him out unless he needs something from you.

"No you'll help us prepare, the boys want your opinion" Jin explained calmly, still wary of your mood.

You didn't answer him and just scoffed so he took it as a yes. You don't want any confrontation from the rest of Hoseok's friends but you can't really escape them so might as well.

.

Tonight, you saw the lights are on as you're walking into the driveway. 

He's home, and you're nervous on how to approach him.

“I’ll be your maid of honour” you whispered. Hoseok looked up at you, eyes surprised at your sudden conviction.

“W-What? B-but Y/N..” he tried reaching on your arm but you stepped back and that made him pause. Hoseok should feel happy that you’re going to his wedding but he can’t help but feel wrong.

“My decision’s final, I don’t care but don’t try to stop me. I already confirmed with your sister” you stated coldly, still not looking into his eyes.

"I don't like hurting you, Y/N please. You don't have to attend the wedding, it's fine with me" his voice pleading, still trying to convince you despite your final decision earlier.

See? How can you not love him? Even in rough times like this, he is still considerate of your feelings.

You sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m your best friend and this is an important part of your life so I should be there” you stated, finally looking back into his eyes.

You're not gonna cry

You're not

You're getting tired of it..

Focusing on other thoughts to stop yourself from crying you didn't notice Hoseok approaching you slowly. When his hands cupped your face, it broke out your reverie.

"Y/N, I-"

You already have a feeling of what he's going to say the moment you met his eyes earlier, they've always been so expressive.

"Don't. Not now Hoseok, not anymore" you looked at his eyes that mirror with your sadness. He inhaled sharply, eyes changing with determination.

"No, Y/N" the way he says your name with a smile is making you nervous and before you could muster a response, a pair of soft lips touched yours and you immediately closed your eyes.

Is this finally happening? Hoseok kissing you? You only hoped about this before but you didn't think it's finally happening. He feels the same now right?

"Hoseok.." you croaked breathlessly after you released each other. He didn't release his hold on your face in which you're leaning, hoping that this is not only your imagination.

"Let me show you.. please.." his eyes begged. Not gonna lie, you've been waiting for this moment to happen but you both see it in a different way. 

Him, showing gratitude while you..

While you're taking advantage of him for your own selfish reasons.

Bringing your hands up on top of his face, you smiled back at him and nodded.

He’s giving you a chance, though this seems like charity even but you don’t care anymore.

So you did.

Hoseok woke up the next day feeling relieved but mostly happy to have finally shown you his feelings, though he’s not sure if you heard his declaration last night. Expecting your presence beside him he turned around and reached out, only to find an empty space.

Suddenly sitting up in dread, he looked around trying to find you. Getting up and hastily putting on his clothes, he went outside directly to the kitchen but you are nowhere to be found. His chest tightened at the thought of you leaving him after what happened last night.

Was he too forward? But you gladly accepted him. Was that an act? D-did you already fall out of love from him?

Before he could continue his thoughts, his phone dinged beside him at the counter. Though he’s expecting Sohye, the text surprisingly came from his sister.

[지우 Noona: Y/N’s and I are in the boutique right now, where are you?]

[Hobi: jwu why? am I needed somewhere?]

[지우 Noona: Go meet with the wedding planner with Sohye in an hour]

He was gonna ask about you but hesitated. Why didn't you text him or leave a note? You just acted like nothing happened and that made Hoseok concerned.

Damn. When you said you'll help with the wedding preparations, you didn't expect to be leading the way. Apparently, that's Hoseok's request according to the wedding planner. 

You've been giving your all into this, most likely because you want to distract yourself from what happened that night and what will happen in the wedding. You keep thinking of why Hoseok would want you when clearly, he doesn't feel anything for you.

Or does he? 

You weren't sure if you were just imagining him saying "I love Y/N" when his arms were holding you tight after your rendezvous the night before. It must be your subconscious trying to fulfill your innermost desire, for your best friend to love you back.

"Hey, Y/N you alright? You look a little worned out" Jiwoo looked at you worriedly, running her eyes around your face.

Yeah your brother drained tf out of me..

"WHAT?!!" you jerked with her shrieking and then you realized you said that thought out loud and your face flushed with shame.

Fuck.

"Uh-" now you can't look at her eyes, cheeks going red with what you just told her.

fuckfuckfuck

"Omgggg, now I get why" she happily mused that made you raise your eyebrows back at her.

"Wtf why?" you shifted uncomfortably, never before you've been this aloof to Hoseok's sister until now.

"I texted him earlier but he said he's still at home at this time which surprised me" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

"He's about to get married, you know" you smiled bitterly, gaze focusing on the white wedding dress on display. Would've been lovely if you're the one who's getting married to Hoseok.

"And? It's not like he and Sohye are in a relationship" she huffed. Jiwoo's right but somehow, that didn't change the already creeping guilt inside you.

"Whatever, that's never happening again" you scoffed but she looks at you suspiciously.

"I'm serious, I value marriage and it will be a form of cheating if that happens again after the ceremony so, no" you firmly stated, looking away. You've been planning to distance yourself after the wedding since that would be what's best for both you and Hoseok.

Jiwoo looked at you wistfully, with sympathetic eyes that you've been getting used to from the people around you the moment Hoseok and Sohye's wedding was announced.

 "Y/N, I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I know how much you love him" she replied softly, laced with emotion since you're like a little sister to her, after all she was hoping you'll end up with her little brother.

"It's okay, I'm used to it" you smiled curtly, your expression changing back to neutral like it has always been.

.

Since you've put all your time into the wedding preparations which clearly affected your academic performance, the preparations went smoothly as you planned.

Hoseok's been trying to corner you, but you're silently thankful for the people who keep distracting him because you're clearly not ready to talk to him.

Isn't that what you've always wanted? Now why are you running away? I mean you are going to eventually but you promised you'll be there for him. Fuck it, just a little bit more..

On the night before his wedding, you've stayed in your hotel room again like what you've been doing the entire time when you know Hoseok's around. You didn't even go to the bachelorette party you were clearly invited for and he's having a stag night too.

Around 3am you were awakened by loud knocks of your hotel door and for the sake of other guests on this floor, you dragged your feet and opened the door impulsively. 

Only to see a drunk Hoseok, groggily smiling at you.

"Why are you here? It's already early morning" you hissed and he just giggled in response.

"Wanna see you" he pouted and you gestured to him just in case he'll vomit which is about to happen as you see his face contorted.

"Fuck come here quick!" you're rubbing his back as he releases all remnants of his stomach into the toilet when he staggered.

"Y/N I'm sorry" his voice sounded so broken and you straightened yourself. He's not gonna remember anything in the morning anyways so what's the point.

You didn't answer him but you helped him clean up and before you can even talk to him, he's already knocked out on your bed. Should you call someone to get him? But everyone's asleep now, screw it.

You stayed beside Hoseok, staring at his sleeping face for the last time, the last time you'll be able to be this near to him since he'll be a married man tomorrow. You can't stop your tears as you run your hands through his face.

"I love you Hoseok, I love you so much that I am letting you go" you stopped yourself to cry louder in case it'll wake him up. You wrapped your arms around him, relishing a few hours of selfishness on your own end.

.

The morning comes and you're dreading to let go of Hoseok. He woke up with you already staring at him and you jerked. 

"Here are painkillers, drink that before you go" you handed them to him but he grabbed you wrist instead, silently pleading you to look at him.

"Y/N, let's run away" he croaked. Hoseok actually heard you the night before, heard you letting go of him and it crushed everything in him, hearing your voice so broken because of him and he wants to make you feel better even though you both know how late it is already.

"What? Are you crazy? You're getting married hours from now" you yelled at him. You've never lashed out on him like this but his plan is ridiculous. You're already guilty of sleeping with him and now he wanted to elope?

"I don't care, I just–" a knock from the door made him pause and your eyes widened. Fuck fuck fuck. You and Hoseok looked at each other's eyes full of panic now.

You walked towards the door and prepared yourself for any interrogation when you were met with sleepy eyes and a smirk.

"Wtf do you want Yoongi" you seethed, you haven’t slept properly since you tried to stay awake as much as possible.

After hearing that it's only his friend, Hoseok appeared behind you, with a relief expression.

"You two looked like shit, be thankful I volunteered to get him" he snickered and you glared at him.

"Nothing happened" you answered nonchalantly but Yoongi's teasing smirk is still on so you turned back to Hoseok but then you're suddenly enveloped with a firm hug, with Hoseok's face nuzzling your neck.

"Thank you" he hummed and released you. You can tell through his eyes that he wanted to stay longer and talk to you more but you shake your head.

"Alright man let's go, they've been looking everywhere for you" Yoongi grabbed Hoseok who's still reluctant to leave. 

"Go, Hoseok" you slightly push him towards Yoongi with a serious tone and just when they were about to leave, Jiwoo suddenly appeared in the corner.

“I knew it, I should’ve looked here first. Thank you Yoongi” the boy just nodded back at Jiwoo gave you the "i told you so" look, though not judgmental, you felt the need to clarify to prove your point the last time you talked.

.

Time of the wedding,

Time to let Hoseok go, permanently.

You are the maid of honour so you have no choice but to put on a happy face especially in front of Hoseok's parents who were constantly checking on you during preparations with apprehension.

After the bridesmaids and groomsmen have walked the aisle, it's finally your turn and it fucking sucks since you have to walk alone.

You took a deep breath before raising your chin up, and faced everyone as they looked at you walking up to the altar. However, your eyes are only on Hoseok as you imagine that it was you he's waiting for, not the actual bride behind you.

Hoseok is doing the same thing, ironically. He's imagining that it's you he is marrying, the person he truly loves but it's too late for that so he should just focus on Sohye.

He continued his daydreaming until Jungkook nudged him since the youngest best man is the closest to him than the other 6, breaking his thoughts and facing the reality that Sohye is the bride, not you.

When the officiant asked if there was someone who disagrees with the couple's union, your body wanted to stand up and tell everyone how you really feel. You felt Jiwoo's arms around your shoulders, hoping to provide the comfort that you needed but you shrugged her arms off.

You wouldn't mind usually but you're in her little brother's wedding and you've been refusing to meet Hoseok's eyes until the officiant proceeded with the next part of the ceremony. You can't look at him or else you'll crumble and there's no way you'll embarrass yourself in front of his family and yours.

Surprisingly, your parents came when you invited them. It would usually have to be Hoseok or any of his family members invite them to come though you already have a suspicion that it's not the only reason why.

“Do you Jung Hoseok, promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her and hold only unto her forever more?” this caused you to finally look back at Hoseok. He stayed silent for a few moments which made everyone chatter in whisper but as soon as his eyes found yours, he smiled, full of longing.

"I do"

You closed your eyes as tears fell from them, unable to hold his gaze anymore. It might be improper to look back on the best night of your life but you can’t help it, you just want to hear Hoseok say it again, over and over.

“I love you Y/N” 

Another morning of Hoseok waking up without you in his life. Tears ran down the sides of his face when he remembered, but this one is longer and the clearest of them all.

That dream's too vivid for him to handle. He smiled bitterly as he remembered all the memories, starting from the beginning up until the shift of your friendship that severed you both.

Chuckling pathetically at himself to even have the audacity to think of you when he's the very main reason you were gone. He just misses you so much. 

In your absence, he indulged himself into alcohol only because he remembers you nagging him to be mindful of his tolerance. He knows it's not good for him, but it's the only way to forget his pain of losing you.

It's not like he's being irresponsible to the point of getting piss drunk, he just drinks when he's alone because that's when the thought of you creeps back into his mind.

Getting up to face another day of wallowing, he decided to come down to the basement to do some cleaning. The mini studio, the only thing he has of you left. This is the reason why he didn't wanna sell the house in the first place.

He then went to a nearby speaker and set the song you both choreographed ages ago, another memory coming up, haunting him.

"Alright that's it, it's been a minute! Surely that's enough right?" you whined at Hoseok, heaving since you've been dancing for like hours now.

"It's less than a minute! Come on, we're just doing the extended chorus" he giggled and you rolled your eyes.

"But yeah, we don't have to do the whole song" his eyes trained on you and the folded Led Zeppelin shirt on the chair. You followed his gaze through and found him eyeing your precious shirt.

"I'm gonna wear it when we're filming this dance, it's from my grandma remember? And I'm gonna pair it with those red orange pants you gifted me on my birthday" you fondly explained to him. 

Hoseok never took you for being sentimental since you always act dismissive when you receive gifts from him.

The voice of Troye Sivan echoing throughout the room brought him back to the present reality. He still feels you around the house, especially here so he went in front of the mirror and readied himself.

He looked back at his reflection in the mirror, instantly seeing you beside him with an affectionate smile. He lets himself give in to his imaginations, just this time. Starting the moves smoothly, Hoseok will always remember this choreo out of all the ones he made because it's you.

Always have been you but he was a coward for not acting on his feelings earlier. The song ended and he fell into his knees, hitting the floor while another gut-wrenching sobs escaped his mouth.

You laid out your feelings for him but he doubted himself when he clearly feels the same so now here he is. 

Still in grief full of regrets..

Still wishing you'll come back to him..

Still clinging to the ghost of you..

taglist : @hobisnesseu @ggukkieland​ @sheprocrastinatesalot @hoebii @jeonsbun @iamscharene​

It's up to you where Y/N is or what happened to her :')

And yes the dance is by Hobi and Ryujin from Highlight Reel ♡

Thank you for reading! Feedback's greatly appreciated! 

©  ressjeon 2021. do not repost, modify, or translate.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

innocence - 28

PAIRING: bodyguard!bucky barnes x innocent actress!reader

WARNINGS: angst

A/N: its angst season again!!

NEXT CHAPTER

Bucky looked around like a crazed maniac, looking for anyone, just anyone who could be responsible for the letter he was holding in his hands. His blood seemed to freeze in his veins just like they used to when they held him hostage in the Russian base. Those words were tattooed in his retina, as it dawned on him he had once again to keep her safe. His ears started ringing like they always did when they used to trigger him, the ring itself replacing any other environment sound, becoming so loud it fully overcame over his senses, rendering him particularly useless. Not that he was of use lately.

     - Bucky? - Y/N’s sister, Claire, called out to him. Almost mechanically, he stuffed the letter in his back pocket. - Are you okay? You look a bit shocked. Any naughty Christmas post cards?

     - Just a bit ... cold.

     - Yeah, Y/N said you were not very comfortable with it. Sorry about that, I was just trying to keep you away from Aunt Petunia. She’s too much.

     - Thanks, Claire. Hm ... do you have any landline? I need to make a call to the US and my plan is running out. 

     - Yeah, no worries. There’s one in the hall by Y/N’s bedroom. - she gave him a warm smile which was reminiscent of Y/N yet did little to nothing to calm him down. He handed her the rest of the mail before climbing up the stairs to the same hall which had doors on each side. Yet, despite it looking like a maze all he cared about was that small telephone on the table. 

Her picked the phone, leaning it against his ear as the rolled the dial to Steve’s number, the letter firmly mashed in his fist as he wanted nothing more than to burn it in the big fire place but he couldn’t. All he could think of was whoever had broken into Y/N’s flat back had followed them to London and once again he had been incapable of protecting her. He had let whoever was sending her those nasty messages, get to her in one of her most safe places. The other line rang like the passage of long times, until he heard the voice which had become synonymous with freedom and America together.

    - Steve Rogers.

    - Steve, they did it it again. - he snapped before he could even tell who it was on the phone. Yet, if his oldest friend couldn’t figure out his voice after so many years then maybe he needed new friends.

    - Buck?

    - Someone left a letter on her mail box calling her a whore again. You and Natasha were on it trying to figure out who did it in New York. - he continued on like an out of control mess. 

    - Buck, calm down. Was the handwriting similar? Maybe it’s a prank.

    - There’s no handwriting just magazine cut outs and it’s not a prank. 

Y/N stepped out of the car, walking over to the luggage holder to help her father take the shopping bags out while her mother walked up to the door to unlock it before they could climb up the stairs. Her father opened the truck of the small red car which they had had since she was a baby. She still remembered her father picking her up from ballet practice, the red colour bright through the cloudy skies. It always felt so safe to enter through those doors, almost if there was no harm whenever she was inside the old metal vehicle. Things were so simple back then and evil was so hardly defined and bordered away from her. She had had a good childhood, good parents, good family so why was she so scared whenever she was in New York? Why was she so intrinsically insecure and meek?

   - So, beanie, you and James. Does he treat you well? - he asked as he handed her some bags and christmas boxes.

   - He’s just perfect, dad. 

   - Then what is it? 

   - What do you mean? - she looked over her shoulder.

   -  Well, you’re my daughter, you’ve been my daughter for over 5 years now and I like to think I know you better than you think. What’s wrong, Y/N?

   - I’m just homesick, dad. - she faked a smile, pushing her hat further down her head, trying to fiddle with something else. - New York is different from here and well, stardom is different from here. It has nothing to do with Bucky. 

   - He makes you happy?

   - He does. 

    - Then I’m happy for you, beanie. - her father kissed the top of her head, carrying half the shopping bags and gifts onto the home while Y/N stood back looking at the neighbourhood she’d grown up in. It wasn’t perfect, no place in the world is perfect but it had a much more emotional connection to her than her place in SoHo. Of course, maybe it was just her own rose coloured glasses of being away from such a structured, planned 3 year ahead career. 

She smiled softly at the houses in exposed brick shades and the coloured blue and red doors with big gold number. Rows and rows of houses which seemed never ending when she was younger yet now seemed so quickly fading from view. Nothing is everlasting and she remembered so well thinking everything was but maybe it was for the best. Good things end to give way to better ones and bad things end become they no longer suit you.

Y/N looked over her shoulder one last time before entering the house. She put the bags near the other ones neatly stacked by the staircase before pulling her coat and jacket off. The house was always filled with noise, it was never quiet. Always abundant with laughter or discussions about the silly topics. This time, they were discussing some weird plot on the television. However, Bucky was nowhere to be seen. 

   -  Did you not invite Bucky? - she crossed her arms, giving her siblings the dirtiest look she could muster. - Guys, I asked you to include him.

   -  We did but your boyfriend has been on an international call for the last hour. It’s gonna add up. - Colin retorted.

   - I’m gonna go check on him. - she reminded herself to tell Colin off for that backhanded comment but she was much more preoccupied with Bucky. Sure, he did enjoy his loneliness but Y/N didn’t want him to feel alienated. She did not want him to feel lonely or like a stranger in her home. Climbing up the stairwell, she noticed him at the end of the hall, old telephone she used to toy around with when she was a kid pretending to call her family yet, unlike her past childhood self, Bucky had the phone firmly pressed against his ears, lips tight, one hand holding himself against the table. 

She noticed his indisposition, his muscles so tight she wondered how come he hadn’t had a cramp and like any empath she approached him with her characteristic sunny attitude, wrapping her arms around his waist, putting herself on her tip toes to kiss him. Bucky, however, moved his head to the side, mumbling something over on the phone in Russian, switching languages as if he did not want her to hear his conversation. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, her overthinking nature picking at her brain as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Bucky turned around slightly to kiss her on top of her head like one does to a child or a friend. 

    - I’m on a call now, princess. - he held her arm up to wrap it from his waist.

    - Okay. I’ll just go ... go have a shower.

She delayed her exit, almost waiting for him to kiss her like he always did whenever she left. However, Bucky quickly returned to his call, in Russian, and she got the message loud and clear. She tried not to think much about it, after all Bucky was still related to the Avengers and despite being his girlfriend, she was not expect to be into that sort of information. She tried to convince herself of that fact as she stepped onto the cold porcelain of her shower floor. The water fell from her head onto her shoulder as she scrubbed the dirt off her body, constantly telling her inner anxiety, Bucky was merely busy. If she were busy she wouldn’t have liked her partner being clingy. He was busy. 

She turned off the shower, wrapping herself in the fluffy bathrobe she probably had had since she was 18, hair still damp as she slide her feet into fluffy slippers and walked into her bedroom. Bucky was sat in her bed, laptop on his lap as he typed the keyboard so harshly one would think he’d break the keys. She smiled to herself as she took the side near him, head laying on top his cozy black jumper, probably dampening the fabric but Bucky didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he didn’t even seen to mind her presence, merely ignoring it. She looked up at him, moving to kiss his jaw with an innocence type of request which was anything but innocent. 

  - Buck. - she said in a sing song type of voice, almost like a mermaid calling out for a sailor. - Why don’t we finish what we started in the airplane?

  - Not today, princess. - he kissed the top of her head once again. - I’m not in the mood for it.

  - Oh ... hum ... okay. - she almost retracted back into her shell at those words. Had she done something this morning? Something to upset him? Maybe he didn’t enjoy her leaving him alone with her family. - Do you wanna go out for dinner?

  - I don’t think it’s wise, princess. They might ... pap us or someth’ng. 

Did he not want to be papped with her? Maybe he was still upset over the pap photos she had willingly given away. She didn’t know and she didn’t want to know. Instead, she decided to turn around in the bed, still naked under her bathroom and stare at the wall until she felt sleep weigh on her eyelids. Bucky, on the other side, had his wild eyes glued to the screen, watching the security tape of her apartment over and over again. It had been cut, he knew it had from the time changing sharply, however, he couldn’t see anything which would be of any aid. All he knew was that not only had he failed his job as an Avenger, he failed his job as her bodyguard and failed to protect her like any boyfriend would do. Would it be in a club he could’ve just punched the daylights out of whoever dared to call her that but right now he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to make it stop. 

Bucky closed the laptop, putting it on the floor as he looked through his mind about who could want to hurt her, who cold do anything to want her to suffer. He could no figure it out and all he wanted was to figure it out. He leaned against the bars of her bedpost, looking over to his side to see her sleeping on her side, hand under her face and hair drying in front of his face. He carefully pushed the hair away from her face, tucking her into her large duvet before kissing her cheekbone. He couldn’t bring it upon himself to say anything, to tell her the letter came in. Bucky still remembered how she had reacted last time and he did not want it to happen again, he did not want her to feel unsafe in her own home. Instead, he let himself fast asleep next to her.

The morning woke Y/N up, the strange brightness of a sunny winter day hurting her eyes. She groaned, raising her torso from the bed, eyes blurry as she opened them. Rubbing the sleep off her eyes she extended her arm to notice Bucky’s spot was empty. She furrowed her brows, jumping off bed and walking outside and down the stairs onto the living room where most of her siblings and their partners were.

    - Wow, Y/N. Clothes under the bathrobe, much? - Eloise teased. 

    - Where’s Bucky? - she ignored her sister.

    - He went out. - Claire added, handing her a cup of tea. - Said he had to grab some stuff. 

    - Oh ... okay. He didn’t say anything.

    - He probably didn’t want to wake you up. - Claire patted her shoulder, kind smile on her lips. 

     - Or maybe he’s cheating on you. - Colin added, only to be slapped over the head by Eloise. - Hey, what was that for? I was joking.

     - He’s not cheating on you. - Claire reassured her. - Colin is just being an ass. 

     - What? I was joking!  

     - Not with Y/N, you idiot. - Eloise muttered under her breathe. - Maybe you should go put your clothes on, Y/N. Bucky is probably just Christmas gift shopping.

     - Or maybe he got lost? He is like 200 years old. Did you give him a pager? He might be lost in Piccadilly Circus or maybe he can’t get out the underground. 

     - Fuck off, Colin. - Y/N snapped at him before returning up to her bedroom.

He knew her brother was just trying to get under her skin. Bucky was not cheating on her, when did he even have time to find someone in London to cheat her with? Maybe he had some contacts in London from when he used to come to missions with the Avengers. Maybe he had someone in London for him. No. No, Bucky did not. Bucky wouldn’t cheat on her, Bucky liked her but he was acting out of style to him. She sat on her bed, hand in the middle of her legs as she tried to stop herself from overthinking things that were absolutely ridiculous. Since she was no good at doing such thing, she called the only person who normally could push her back to reality. 

    - Chuck? I have a problem. 

    - Jesus, Y/N. Have you forgotten time zones? - Chuck groaned on the other side of the line. - You better be dying.

    - Bucky is acting weird. 

    - Bucky always acts weird. What’s your point?

    - I don’t know, Chuck. It feels weird. I even tried ... initiating IT and he said no. Do you think he’s not attracted to me anymore? He didn’t even want to kiss me

    - Maybe he was not in the mood, Y/N. Also, why are you so freaked out about saying sex? Are you sexually repressed? Did you try to initiate some kinky sex with Bucky and maybe his old man penis wasn’t okay with it?

    - Can we not discuss my boyfriend’s penis, please?

    - What? He’s old, maybe it hasn’t been getting up. Did you ask him? Maybe he forgot to pack Viagra and he’s ashamed. 

    - Chuck. It is not that.

    - I don’t know, Y/N. Maybe spice it up. Dress up like Princess Leia in Empire Strikes Back. Every man is into it.

    - Bucky hasn’t seen Star Wars.

    - I don’t know what was sexually appealing in the 40s, Y/N. Don’t you have that lingerie set they made you wear for Rocky Horror? Use that. Maybe he really just wasn’t in the mood.

    - Okay ... yeah. Uhm, maybe it will work. 

    - Great. Now, I need to sleep because it is too late and there’s a girl in my bed and I don’t want her to think I have you on the side.

    - Oh, is she a nice girl?

    - Y/N ever since you lost your virginity you get very boring when you don’t get a dick appointment. Go on and do it with Bucky and we’ll talk later.

    - Okay, thank you.

    - Bye, bye. 

Y/N stared at herself in the mirror. She never really saw herself a sexual being or a sexual girl at all. After all, she was the one who got told by three guys at her university freshers party she had the sexual charisma of a toaster. Now the metaphor did not make any sense but all she knew was that it probably did not make any sense. It wasn’t that she wasn’t comfortable with her own sexuality, she just didn’t think about it outside of work. Maybe Bucky was used to girls who put a bit more effort and wasn’t very attracted to her very old bathrobe and her Marks and Spencers cotton underwear. She shrugged it off, opening her wardrobe to skim through some of the costumes she had worn until she found the white lacy set. It was better than her regular cotton underwear. She put her robe back on looking at herself in the mirror as she gave herself a pep talk. He’s not cheating on her. She knows he would never do that.

She sat down in her bed, going over some scripts sent over by the agency until midday when Bucky came into the bedroom, on the phone with someone else, still speaking Russian. She waited for him to finish his call before she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. 

    - Sorry for not telling you, Y/N. I had to make some calls with the team.

    - It’s okay. - she smiled at him. - I was just thinking maybe ... maybe we could have some us time. My parents went to do the groceries and my siblings won’t bother us, besides I have something I want to show you.

    - Sorry, not in the mood. I need to call Steve. - he took his jacket off, putting it on the edge of her bed. - It’s urgent, princess.

    - Oh, okay. 

    - Can I use the landline? Pretty sure I still haven’t figured out  how to make international calls. 

    - Yeah. - he kissed the top of her head once more. 

She sat on her bed defeated. Her mind going through everything she could’ve possibly done wrong the morning she left with her parents. Maybe he really wasn’t in the mood, however he did seem pretty eager that morning. She sighed. Damned Colin and his stupid backside comment. She sighed, rolling in her bed, the movement making his jacket fall to the ground. Great Y/N, now you’re wrinkling his clothes. She got up from her bed to grab the jacket for a letter to fall on the ground. She looked to the side, leaning down to pick the letter only to drop it once she saw the writing. You cannot hide, whore.  She grabbed it from the ground before storming out to the hall, pulling the cable out the wall, effectively stopping Bucky’s call.

   - When were you gonna tell me?

taglist: @disasterbii @lookiamtrying @buckysteveloki-me @americasass81 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @lostinthebeans @mariahthelioness29 @bbabysbaby @peaches-roses-sins @theadorasabditory @sipsteacasually @saiyanprincessswanie @booktease21 @noiralei @learisa @everythingisoverratedbutgreat @uglipotata72829 @naturalthrone22 @husherstan @mandiiblanche @vicmc624 @newyorkgoddess @itsallyscorner @chipilerendi @emzd34 @writerwrites @bluevxnus @that-girl-named-alex @captnrogers​ @nsfwsebbie​ @sarge-barnes-sir​

[bella-caecilia]

Could I possibly request #11 reliability?

Thank you for the prompt <3 I hope I included enough of the colour symbolism. Again, set somewhere in series 1. I hope you enjoy this Cobert fluff!

Brown – Reliability

She pulled his arm closer. Walking like this beside him was much warmer than walking alone or a few feet apart (something they had done very early on for a very short period, and Cora had hated it with all her guts) but it still wasn’t warm enough. It seemed rather impractical to only have the small area of their arms touch and spend each other warmth but this was the best they could do on a walk.

“I can’t believe Sybil will be presented at court next summer,” Cora voiced aloud what had been on her mind all day.

It was a day in October and after the sun had dried the leaves a little after yesterday’s constant drizzle Cora had waited eagerly in the doorway of the library for Robert to finish his correspondence and join her on their walk over the amber-coloured grounds. Robert was rather occupied today so that Cora had a lot of time on hand to ponder about the next season she was planning already. It was nice to have Robert now with her and to talk about what tormented her thoughts.

“But you have started the first preparations weeks ago,” Robert gave back. Their looks were directed at the path in front of them. Cora didn’t turn her head very often because, with the great proximity to her husband she had created, the expansive brim of her hat was precariously close to his neck. Their eyes took in the variety of brown and yellow nature that stretched along the horizon.

“I know,” she sighed. “But don’t you feel like she is still so young, our little girl? Presenting her at court means subsequently marrying her off to a gentleman, a Lord, faraway. This is all happening much too fast,” Cora whispered the last words into the wind, letting them being carried away. But Robert would get them nevertheless.

“Mary’s season was years ago and she still isn’t married. They will stay much longer with us than you think.” They passed by the place to usually take a short break on their walks. The bench under the large tree stayed empty today, though.

Yes, Mary wasn’t married, and Cora knew why it was so hard to find a match for her. They didn’t even speak of Edith. But Sybil, Sybil was a whole other deal.

“Don’t forget that it’s sweet Sybil we are talking about. She will charm every eligible gentleman because opposed to Mary, she is intrinsically kind and so very amiable. She is easy to love.”

“That’s because she is most like you.” Robert’s statement sounded like a corrupting compliment but his tone wasn’t any less serious than throughout their prior talk.

“Sybil has a much stronger will of her own and is much more innovative than me,” Cora commented matter-of-factly.

“Well, it’s not me either from whom she has her innovatively modern streak.” Robert stirred them down a path they didn’t take very often in the warmer months because it avoided all the flower gardens and beds. But that didn’t matter in October.

“Right, and her stubbornness is also nothing she inherited from you,” Cora gave back sarcastically. Robert didn’t respond to this but with a silent snort.

“But she is sweeter in her stubborn demeanour,” Cora added in a low tone. She watched him from the corner of her eye, gauging his reaction to her taunting comment.

“Hmm, yes, I love you too,” he grumbled in response. His elbow nudged her slightly in the side against her corseted ribs. She chuckled lightly and patted his upper arm placatingly.

They walked together silently for a while. Robert at her side like a windbreaker, not really bothered by her teasing, Cora fell back into pondering. Her throat slowly lost the memory of her chuckle as her darker thoughts about the next London season pushed to the forefront of her mind again.

“I don’t want to let her go, Robert,” she whispered.

Now it was Robert who pulled her hands closer to his arm. His bigger palms covered hers in the crook of his arm. “Sybil won’t go if it isn’t right. She always knew her way, and it will be the same now. And I also know you will support her in what is right for her,” he assured, and his voice became so velvety that Cora wanted to bury her face in the crook of his neck or against his chest. “And I will be there with you.”

“I know you will. And I will make her season the most beautiful for her.”

“Of course, you will.”

Robert’s choice of route for their walk guided them to the edge of the forest that bordered the grounds in the south. A row of nearly scarlet-coloured bushes greeted them from afar. The spectacle of autumnal colours was a real treat on their otherwise by harsh wind and cold temperatures marked walk. As they plodded down the gravely way, mostly parallel to the woods, one shade of brown was relieved by another one and yet another one. Cora tried to link her arm more tightly with Robert’s to fully enjoy the comforting palette of warm hues of the brown leaves in the radiance of his heating body. She didn’t know what comforted her more the warm brown vision in front of her or his body next to her.

“Can we make a short detour into the woods?” she asked after a moment.

“If you wish so. I don’t want to overexert you. The weather can change again in no time,” he gave back.

“It will only be a few steps inside,” Cora assured.

…

Inside the forest Robert let Cora choose the way. Outside he had guided them down the paths as he always did. They had their usual route that he variegated here and there slightly. But Cora seemed determined now to explore the grounds and so he let her take the lead. Robert couldn’t quite tell what criteria affected her choice of paths. But knowing his wife, he assumed she followed where nature looked most inviting. He tried to see the trees around with her eyes. But he mostly saw oaks, beeches, and pine trees. One or two times he had to help her across broken branches that lay on the paths. He assisted her in gathering her skirts since it proved a quite demanding task with one of her arms linked to his.

Cora halted at a minor crossroads. She stood right in a ray of the October sun and looked into the depth of the forest.

“It all looks nearly golden,” she said. With her right hand, she pointed somewhere into the trees. “Look how the bark absorbs the warm light. The sun makes the trees shine.”

“I see,” he said, still searching for the exact point she referred to. The gap in the trees, that let in the light to illuminate the tree bark and Cora, also allowed entrance to the wind. A gust came their way, and it wasn’t only dead leaves that swirled around Robert but also the scent of Cora’s hair and perfume. It was a rather nice experience he wouldn’t have expected out here in the woods.

“I want to feel the wind, Robert,” she said as she looked down the narrowing path into the woods. She had to hold onto her hat because gusts tried to grip and abstract it into the distance. Robert furrowed his brow.

“Don’t you feel it?” he asked a little confused. As she turned her face to him, he noticed her rosy cheeks and nose.

“That’s not exactly what I mean. I want to feel it for real,” Cora explained. Her gloved hands now began fiddling with her hat. Only when she pulled out a long hat pin, Robert realised her intention.

“Could please help me for a moment?” she asked.

“Uhm, sure.” Robert let her arm go to ease her task and waited for further instructions.

“If you would please assist me taking off the hat. We can try to keep my hair at least a little put together.” Robert took hold of the brim of her hat and tried his best at taking it off carefully. Cora in the meanwhile secured her coif with her fingers that pushed underneath the hat slightly and pressed the curls to her head. Robert lifted the grey accessory ever so slowly and handed it to her afterwards.

“I feel like I can breathe again,” Cora sighed relieved. Robert had to chuckle. He could never imagine the nonsensical ideas his dear wife came up with. She shook her head slightly in the wind and instantly a few strands of chocolate brown hair tumbled down. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to experience nature armoured against all its merits with these extensive attires,” she explained a little annoyed. For a brief moment, he could Cora as the young girl she once was before he got to know her, running around freely in the woods and on the beaches in the American home of her childhood. And then, after a few seconds, there was the calm and properly dressed Countess again.

“You would freeze without it,” Robert reminded her.

Cora turned around again, looking into the light forest with her hat clutched to her front. She didn’t respond to his last comment but breathed in the fresh wind. Robert came up behind her. Her curls played in the wind. Her coiffure fell apart more and more, and she looked more enticing with every second. The chocolate curls danced while she stood there unmoving. Only the rise and fall of her shoulders, padded in her thick coat, told of the deep breathes she took and of the deliberate movement of her chest.

Robert approached her until he was able to wrap his arms around her. Tentatively he first rested his palms on her shoulders but he didn’t want to oppress her interaction with the wind. His hands on her waist felt much better anyway. Her hair flew around his face and tickled his cheeks.

Cora took good care, he thought suddenly. Nothing that affected their family, their dear girls, escaped her notice. Nothing that had to be done slipped through her fingers. She secured Sybil the greatest coming out ball and the most enjoyable season, and she looked so closely that Sybil would do well when their daughter would leave their caring arms. Robert needn’t worry about any of the girls’ future. Cora was there and she took care where he could never reach. He just had to give her all the stability and comfort she needed, all the stability and comfort he could give. He pressed his cheek to the side of her head. Her hair was soft at his slightly stubbly cheek, and he probably destroyed her coif even more but the wind had already done its deed so he didn’t really give it much thought. Cora leaned back against his chest so that their breathing of the wind synchronised. She was like a hot water bottle in his arms as the wind blew around them. His back and arms began freezing but Cora was pressed to his front, and he could bury his nose in her brown tresses. Knowing she was there with him gave him all the comfort and warmth he needed right now.

[misstrashchan]

Top 3 RWBY ships & your favorite moments for each!!!

AH IT'S YOU!

And... Just three? Really? Uh, well, I guess I'll start with my first OTP I had watching the show when I was 13 that I still have a soft spot for...

1. Ladybug (Ruby/Blake)

Blame Madoka Magica, but I'm drawn to the dark haired, aloof and cool mysterious girl having a soft spot and looking out for the clumsy, optimistic and maybe a little naive girl trying to prove herself who happens to be the MC, and finding their own hope renewed in themself because of that relationship.

I mean there's just a lot of little moments when Blake is just so wholeheartedly the member who believes and trusts Ruby the most as a leader, like I know it's easy to overlook over the series but between "She's only two years younger, we're all just kids" in defence of Ruby when Weiss calls her just a kid, "She's our leader, she can take care of herself" in response to Yang worrying over Ruby, and "We'll follow your lead Ruby" to her before meeting Ironwood, and their initial meeting being Blake coming over and helping Ruby out when Weiss is giving her a hard time but then aprubtly leaving, it's just... I really love them, okay?

My favorite Ladybug moment is probably their talk in v8, because it's kind of a culmination of those little actions and words over the series that conveyed the nature of their relationship actually communicated, when Blake just lets Ruby know how much she looks up to and believes in her as a leader, and how greatful and moved you can see Ruby is to hear that when she's at a low point of doubting herself the most. (Even though that kind of faith is a double edged sword for her, but that's a Ruby meta analysis for another day)

And of course Ruby's soft chuckle and little "I could hear you" after getting up when Blake was pleading for Ruby to get up after getting knocked out, because they needed her, just melts my heart everytime I hear it.

2. Bumbleby (Yang/Blake)

I mean. It's Bumbleby! Ladybug may have been my first OTP but Bumbleby reigns supreme in my little heart since falling into it during v2 and fully committing to it after v3 and during v4. The slowburn, the pining, the angst, the comfort, the finding their way back to each other no matter how many times they seperate, the complimentary colour schemes, Beauty and the Beast, Ying and Yang, the way their narratives are intrinsically interwined with one another, THE SOFT FOREHEAD TOUCHES. God the list of reasons of Why Bumbleby is just neverending.

I mean, when I think good slowburn romance, I just immediately think Bumbleby.

Favourite moment? Geez. Idk. There's so many iconic bees moments it's hard to pick. Burning the Candle? I love it when you're feisty? Your bow goes great with your pajamas? Bees vs Adam? The Reunion? The Reunion 2.0 with forehead touches? (which are, in my humble opinion, far softer and more romantic than any kisses could be but that's just me)

But for all the angsty and dramatic moments, I really really like this series of small moments when Yang and Blake are getting ready to go dancing with FNKI in v7 the most. Yang trying to teach Blake how to dance and Weiss finding them to be an insufferable couple, Blake putting on mascara while Yang watches her lying on her bed with just the gayest little grin, Yang coming over and just so casually putting her hand on Blake's shoulders. It's just. It's my favorite just because of how casual it is. The two of them getting to relax and doing normal couple stuff. After everything these two have gone through they deserve that with each other, to enjoy those first highs of venturing into a romantic relationship. It's just the little moments, y'know?

3. Rosegarden (Ruby/Oscar)

So much about this ship just screams perfect slowburn material. How Ruby has consistently been the person who believes in Oscar as his own person, how Oscar is the first person we see get Ruby to open up to about her own fears,(and like, Ruby's really the only person Oscar has confided in like that over the series too) how throughout v7 Ruby worries over her decision to lie to Ironwood mainly because she knows it's something Oscar doesn't agree with and she doesn't want him to think less of her. The very circumstances that allowed them to meet; the war with Salem, Oscar merging with Oz, their shared burden that allows them to bond, is also exactly what would prevent them from ever having an actual relationship. It's just so... tragic when you really think about it and I LOVE that kind of shit.

RG to start with was more of an "enjoying how adorable Oscar's crush on Ruby was but believing it would ultimately be one sided" than actual "I Think This is Going to Be A Thing". And then the Dojo scene happened, which was this really revealing character moment for both of them in a way we hadn't seen either of them with anyone else, where they share their fears, and Oscar pushes Ruby to be more introspective and honest with her feelings at the start and at the end Ruby pushes Oscar to be braver and more confident in himself, which hits the core struggles of both their characters and I was like. Hm. Okay. Maybe there's more going on here. And the ship has kind of had my attention since then. (not my favorite RG moment though)

And then like, in v6 when Oscar gets his first huntsman outfit, and you can see that 1) His main colour is green, complimentary to Ruby's red, 2) His secondary colour is also Ruby's red 3) His accessories are the same as the ones Ruby has in her Mistral outfit, meaning he took direct inspiration from her and 4) As the cherry on top his whole outfit is a Very Obvious nod to him alluding to the Little Prince. And I was like Ah. This is A Thing Now. And then the series went on to have the subtle-as-a-brick-parallels with the Bees and visually pairing them with the Bees and I was like Ah. Yeah. We're definitely in it now.

Enough about that though. Favourite moment? Ruby handing Oscar back his cane. Not just the "You're your own person" Ruby says to reassure Oscar of his own individual identity, but what she does when she says it. Before that, when Oscar reaches to take the cane from Ruby who holds it out to him, he lingers there, asking "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?" And right then and there Ruby and Oscar would be holding onto one another, except the cane is in between their hands. It's what connects them, but it's also what separates them. Because the cane represents Oscar's connection to Oz and his merging with him. And it's only because of Oz that Oscar met Ruby at all. But then when Ruby tells Oscar he's his own person, she puts her other hand on top of his. Asserting her own, unique connection to him. That still gets me.

[lobakmerahs]

One: Painting and Its Secrets

Summary: This series is about Levi’s slow burn relationship with the reader who is not only a squad leader but a spy who works under Scouts Regiment.

Warning: mentions of death

A/n: I hope you, whoever you are that will read my series will enjoy it as much as I do when I wrote it. Thanks and have a pleasant reading! :)

~ 🎨

3 weeks before...

A blond platinum wig in a pixie cut, button down shirt in beige, a dark brown suspenders, a pair of pants in olive green with a jacket in the same colour. Last but not least a black fedora on top of the head. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, making sure that you looked completely different from the real you at the same time not wanting the disguise you were wearing would catch unnecessary attention. After you were fully satisfied with your look, you took your steps outside your little home.

It was supposedly your off day and you were strolling at the Stohess District and went to buy a newspaper before taking your seat at an empty bench while facing the river. After a few moments had passed, you glanced at your watch and stood up to head to your destination. 

Hans Art Gallery. You were on time when you stood in front of the art shop as the business was just begun and you were the first one to enter. 

“Good morning and welcome to Hans Art Gallery. Is there anything that I can help you, Mrs?,” the gentleman asked. 

“A bouquet of tulips for the man with the black shoes.” You answered to the gentleman who was not wearing a pair of black shoes but upon hearing your sentence and clearly understood your code, he went to the back of the gallery before returned to you and handed the canvas piece that was neatly wrapped with an oil paper. 

You calmly walked to your home and naturally looked around you to make sure no one was tailing before you entered your house and produced a soft click sound as you locked the wooden door behind you. You didn’t go straight to your room, instead you climbed to the attic and yet again locked the door. Slowly you unwrapped the frame and brought out your forceps as well as your scalpels, no need to ask how did you get those. The canvas held a drawing of an evening sky which was rich with every shades of orange colour capturing the beauty of the sunset, it seemed like it could bring calmness to whoever that laid their eyes on it, but what people didn’t know, didn’t have to know as well as didn’t have the right to know was what lied beneath the drawing. Yes, the drawing was undeniably beautiful, it was made by none other than one of your assets in the Wall Sina that disguised as an art dealer among the nobles. The said asset had planted a few layers of documents under his drawing which was the main reason you were about to form a surgery on the work of art. Meticulously, you ran your scalpel on the border of the drawing, next you brushed your thumb along the already cut borders to make the edges curled upwards then you used your forceps to peal the drawing away, revealing layers of papers which were believed to be the documents that were hidden beneath it. 

“Hmmh.. hmmm~ yare yare, found ya’.” You whispered to yourself and smiled in relief, taking out the pieces of papers and gave it a read. 

The documents contained the Military Police reports of Nicholas Lovof’s crimes that included bribery, kidnapping, murders and any other atrocities that were enough to put someone under justified punishments. Not only that, the documents also included a detailed descriptions as well as names of the people that were in charge to kill Erwin Smith, a good colleague of yours, thanks to Nicholos’s manipulations. The said people were; a young red-haired girl styled in pigtails, another young man with a light-brown hair and persumably the oldest one of the pack,a sharp dull blue eyes man with a black hair styled in an uppercut. 

Then, you made a copy of the documents and kept them in a scroll so you could send them to Erwin, where the original copy of them were properly sealed in an envelope for you to send them to none other than Dhalis Zachary.

~🎨

You took a deep breath, inhaling the morning’s crisp while staring at the blue sky. It was always your favorite thing to do, starring at the sky, focusing on the colours that it held. From the wide ranges of blues, to the variety tones of the white from the clouds and sometimes the contrast colours of orange or pink that appears during dusk or dawn. 

After you had enough of your morning pill from the sky, you stepped out of your chamber and was greeted by your best friend, Hange with a raised of both your eyebrows. Both of you did not need much words to greet each other most of the times. You were best friends since your Training Corps years. Morning wasn’t the time for you guys to start acting real with each other. So, both of you walked by each other to the mess hall to get your breakfast then attended the assembly Scout Regiment’s concourse. 

During the morning assembly, you lined up beside Erwin as you were also a Section Commander and had your comrades under your unit to stand in a line behind you. As you were standing, you could see there were 3 people standing beside Commander Keith Sadis, and were introduced to the whole Scout Regiment as the new Scouts. One of them was a girl with red-brown hair tied into two pigtails, named Isabel Magnolia, the other was a man with dark blond hair named Furlan Church and the last one named Levi, a shorter man with black hair styled in an uppercut. All three of them were assigned into Flagon's unit much to his dismay. You glanced at Erwin by your side and he gave you a knowing look. While others found those new Scouts’ names foreign, both of you were exceptional and for a good reason. 

They were surprisingly good during their training, for some people who never had a formal training using the ODM gear, they performed fantastically well but they still needed some polishing for their Titans killing skills, except for Levi. You were always up to offer help to them but they often misunderstood since you usually looked cold and always a bit brutal during your trainings which were a famous fact among the Scout Regiment. Farlan and Isabel often thought that you hated them since they received resentments from severel other Scout cadets and thinking that you were also in the same boat as the other Scouts. Levi was always with his bored expression, you could barely read his expressions let alone his thoughts, unlike the other two. There was a time where Isabel blurted about why you insisted to help training them when you seemed to dislike them.

“It doesn’t matter if I like you guys or not, people train to kill the Titans and to survive. You guys seemed to rush things and hiding something, as if you wanted you to get done with killing Titans then move on to do something else that isn’t Titans related and I’m here trying to help you not to get killed by Titans”, you answered. There was a short silence followed after your answer. You could tell their breaths hitched for a moment but you remained stolid nevertheless.

“Well, we have to move on to do something else as in to focus on the formation right?”, Furlan replied with a hint of nervous. 

“Yeah, let’s hope so.” You answered. 

~🎨

In life, there were a lot of moments where the air would be tense and the night before expedition was one of them. The night was calm and quiet but you couldn’t ignore the heavy feeling in your heart. Tonight was just another night inside the wall but to some in the Scout Regiment, it would be their last. Tomorrow’s expedition would surely cost some of your comrades’ lives and might even yours, for the sake of humanity. 

You took a deep breath. But it still didn’t help to calm your nerves. You had been pacing in your room since dinner. You couldn’t stay still, palms were sweaty and heart was beating unsually fast tonight. Something bad was going to happen tomorrow. You could feel it in your guts. You recognized these telltale because whenever you felt like this, you’ll end up receiving death news be it your favorite neighbour from your hometown, your beloved pets or even the Scouts that you had helped in training. Deciding that sitting in your room wouldn’t help lessen the nerves, you grabbed your pencils and sketch papers then headed outside to gaze at the starry night sky to do some sketches in hope of easing your mind. 

As you arrived at you usual spot at tower of the Scout Regiment barracks, you slumped down and took a glance at the sky. The moon hadn’t shown itself yet, and there were thick clouds hanging everywhere. Then, you stared at your paper and pencil. Blank. No idea. No inspiration. Stuck. You sighed, and continued to stare at the night sky hoping to relax your mind for awhile. Then, you heard the sound of clicking boots which meant that there were people not far from you. It was Furlan and Isabel whom just arrived, they walked to a figure that you assumed to be Levi. You remained quiet and peeped them from your location. You could heard Isabel and Furlan trying to convince Levi about them joining tomorrow’s expedition. As you were eavesdropping not that you planned to in the first place, suddenly your hand started to sketch the paper, starting with the clouds and adding the diamonds in the sky, slowly without you realizing it, you were sketching the trio starring at the starry night sky under the moonlight that shone magnificiently. 

When you were done with the sketching, you returned to your room as quietly as possible and continued to add colours to your drawing before you got sleepy and finally free from your anxious feeling earlier. Before you headed to your bed, you jotted down the date behind your work which now known as painting, no longer just a sketch.

_

During the expedition, you and your squad were put around the right flank of the long range formation. There were few Titans appeared throughout the journey, none that your squad could handle. You were beyond grateful that all of your squad were still well and alive at the moment. Then, you received a signal to tighten the formation since the sky started to show sign that it would rain soon and a heavy one at that. You commanded your squad to pull on the hood of their capes and stayed as close as possible with you and each other so that no one would go unnoticed and it would be easier to assist if anything happen.

Despite the heavy downpour, your squad kept moving forward and you efficiently assisted your squad in killing any Titan that came in the way, it was always your promise to make sure everyone under you would return to the wall safe and alive. Then, suddenly you heard a weird noise coming from in front of you, not the usual strange noise that a Titan would make.A load, short but multiple groan as if a Titan was in pain. So, you rushed to the direction of the sound assuming that there might a cadet or a squad that needed your assistance. 

You arrived at the same time as Erwin’s and some other squad leaders, surrounded by an Abnormal Titan’s and plenty of your other comrades’ corpses. Then, you noticed Levi standing next to the Titan’s dead body with blood all over him and Isabel’s head in front of him with half of Furlan’s body not far from him as well. Levi seemed to be the only one survived from his squad. His head hanging slightly low, with his hair covering his eyes but the tears streaming down his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by you. So, this explained the sweaty palm and racing heart you had another night- to see two cadets that you helped with training days ago, only now left with just just head and half of a body. You felt your shoulder fell and knees slightly shaking. You felt like your breath had been taken away.

As the rain started to stop slowly as the sunshine gently peeking from the clouds, you watched how Levi was about to kill Erwin which was stopped by Mike then Erwin explained about the Nicholos Lovof's situation causing Levi to stop his actions and stood silently, digesting the fact that he was caught up in Erwin’s plans. 

You did feel bad for Levi, Erwin wasn’t the only who knew about him and his friends’ true intention of joining the Scout Regiment. You knew about it too. It was your assignment to obtain the information about Nicholos Lofov’s crimes and sent it to Erwin as well as finding out the person who was assigned to supposedly kill Erwin. It was just a simple guess as to why those three didn’t refuse so much on joining he Scout Regiment when Erwin offered them to.

You were assigned with that task since you were not only a Section Commander but also a spy under the Scout Regiment as well as the cadets under your wings and some were also assets scattered across the town in disguise as an art dealer in Wall Sina, a commoner who opened a bakery shop or could be anyone in the town that simply invisible to the world but not to you. You needed to sniff around to obtain crucial informations that could contribute to the Scout Regiment strategies, formation and as well as humanity. 

~🎨

The barracks became quieter after the expedition ended which was normal due to the lost of lives. You were at your room that night, just checking your report before you could submit them to Erwin the next morning and decided to write some notes in your book. You opened your drawer and saw the painting that you made before the expedition took place. Levi, Isabel and Furlan staring at the sky. Two of the were smiling in admiration to the sky while Levi just being Levi, stoic as ever except his eyes where they were packed with ......hope. 

You suddenly felt drenched and decided to go for a glass of water at the kitchen before you headed to sleep. You inserted the sketching into your notebook and brought them with you to the kitchen, it just came across your mind to let Levi had it since you remembered how shattered he looked when he was kneeling in front of Isabel's head. The kitchen was empty when you arrived so you went to grab a cup and filled it with water.

As you took a sip of water from your glass, you saw Levi entering the same room as yours. Both of you were startled for a second yet no words left your mouths before he proceeded to make himself a tea and you with your drink. The room was filled with silence but not an uncomfortable one, at least for you. That was when it slipped your mind that you wanted to give the drawing to Levi. Only if he would accept your drawing. You thought he might wanted it since that drawing was an evidence of a sweet memory that his two friends left him during their short time in the Scout Regiment. Probably something for him to look at when he felt lonely. He was stirring his teaspoon with his back facing you when you called his name. Probably the first time having you calling his name. Probably the first time you would ever interact with him ever since he joined the regiment.

“.....um..Levi,” you called. That’s when your heart skipped a beat. And you felt a bit....just a bit nervous to see him reacting to you. Then, he turned around and faced you, intense dull blue eyes focusing on your eyes, expecting you to continue. You gulped. Man, was his gaze always this tense? You never noticed that before for sure.

“I was at the tower the night before the exhibition, with my sketching utensils because I needed to calm my nerves. Then suddenly you guys came and I made something. I didn’t plan doing it, I just went with the ideas flowing in my head,” you stopped and brought out your painting to his attention. He stayed focus listening to you and eyes never left your face before he took the drawing and examined it. You couldn’t say he was amused but his gaze did soften a little. 

“I’m sorry I draw the three of you without your permission.I know I should have asked your consent. And um, you could keep that...... If you want though,” you continued. You felt quite nervous not because you were scared of him, shy probably but not scared. You were nervous because one, you wished your drawing didn’t remind him of his late friends in a bad way and caused him more sadness, two, you didn’t want him to get mad at you for drawing him without his permission and three, um...what if your drawing looked like a toddler’s work? That would suck.

“It’s nice,” Levi finally spoke. His deep monotone voice comforted your ears. You breathed out a relief. 

“I want to keep it,” Levi said, hand still holding your drawing, eyes travelling back to yours with a softer gaze and as if asking for your permission. 

You nodded, “sure, make it yours, I do hope it’ll help you feel better, if that's even possible”, you replied with a soft chuckle as you slowly stood and got ready to head back to your room.

You saw Levi took a glance at the drawing then looked at you again before he replied you with, “thanks, I’ll treasure it.”

You flashed a small smile before yawning and took off to your room to get your sleep. Feeling light and at ease, knowing your drawing could help lift up someone’s mood.

Little did you know that, back in his chamber, Levi stared at your painting. He indulged himself into the painting that you made, every drop of colour as well as every line and traces left on the paper by you, realized how he missed watching his lost friends’ smiles and thanks to you, he could see his friends’ smiles once again eventhough it was just on a piece of a paper. Not to mention, he finally got to interact with you. You striked a mysterious aura when you first appeared before his eyes which intrigued him to get to know you, yet he never had a chance or a reason to talk to you but you were always there somewhere in the back of his mind. He was utterly grateful with the drawing you made, at least he could carve the smiles of his friends into his mind, their smiles might no longer exist in this world but it would always be in his heart and mind. 

                                              Next chapter

[emiewritesthings]

locked down with you (1)- jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: a series of scenarios between y/n and jay whilst they quarantine together

requested?: nope but requests are open :)

warnings: language but basically just fluff

a/n: still being in lockdown has made me think about what it would be like to be living with jay during these times. the following is just a strange combinations of scenarios i have thought about. not sure i how i feel about them :/

masterlist

day 1 of lockdown

“is that the last box?” jay called out as he reappeared from his room with a sweaty brow and a large smile on his face. he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to seeing your clothes hung up beside his own in his wardrobe, or your shows lined up beside his by the door. it was strange, but it felt... natural.

“i think so, wow is it sad that my whole life can be packed up into 5 boxes?” y/n asked, collapsing onto the sofa breathing out heavily. jay let out a small chuckle, before he joined her, melting into the cushions that supported their bodies. 

“well that’s not true, that was just your clothes, you still have an entire apartment of things waiting for you back home.” he corrected, with a smug smile pointed. the pad of it flicking her nose, making a childish giggle escape her parted lips. “but who knows by the end of this thing you might need to bring those over too.” jay hummed, leaning closer to her with lustful eyes. in a matter of seconds, his lips pressed lazy kisses against her neck, the sensation taking y/n’s body to a new level of euphoria

“just give it a week, halstead. you will be so sick of me you will have to kick me out.” she challenged, watching as he pulled his lips away from her skin for a moment. allowing their foreheads to rest against one another, eyes both equalling challenging the other to make the next mood. in a moment of weakness, it had been y/n to lean forward, igniting the warmth in their chest. 

“if anything, i don’t think i will be able to let you go.” his breaths were rugged, only parting to say the last few words before he reconnected their lips. his hands respectfully running over her body, admiring the way it curved and held its unique shape. 

he sure could get used to this.

--

day 3 of lockdown

“jay!” y/n whined impatiently as she threw her head back to demonstrate just how tired she was becoming. a strange ache running up her spine from the position she was currently sat in. her back arched as she rested against the arm of the sofa. her fingers pinching a pencil as she looked between her sketchpad and the angelic man sat a few centimetres away. “i thought i told you not to move.” 

jay’s eyes narrowed in confusion, as he looked up from the pile of paperwork he had to complete by the end of the day. seeing his girlfriend sat in a large hoodie that she had stolen from their wardrobe and a pair of shorts, a look of boredom and frustration etched on her features, he had to question what the hell was going on.

“what are you talking about?” jay asked, in all honesty, he had been so focused on his work that he had tuned the woman out. from the look of art supplies spread over the floor, he could only assume she was occupying her day off with fulfilling her craving to be artistic. 

“you know what, it doesn’t even matter anymore,” she sighed, closing up the book in her hands. “it was stupid anyway.” she muffled into the sleeve of her sweater, attempting to walk out of the living room towards the kitchen, a place she had labelled her ‘happy place’ from the moment she stepped into the apartment. slight guilt seeped into jay’s mind as he pushed himself away from the sofa cushions and wrapped her up in his bulky, warm arms.

“i’m sorry.” he apologised, arms trapping her in what only could be described as a bear hug. from her small frame, jay managed to rest his chin on the top of her head, until he brought his face down to kiss her cheek softly. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.” he repeated between each.

y/n felt her mood slightly, reminding herself of the effect the man had on her. she felt like mush in his hands that he was able to sculpt in whatever way he wanted and she had no objections. 

“now what do we have here?” he spoke more to himself as he took the sketchpad from her hands, his fingers playing with the edge of the pages until he stopped on a page with a rather large sketch. the pencil lines were faint, but it didn’t take jay a moment to recognise the large image illustrated on the page. “holy shit, y/n.”

feeling her cheeks heat up, she tried to hide her face with her sleeves. she didn’t like to share her work with anyone, with fear that she would be laughed out of the room. but listening to jay’s taken aback tone made the butterflies in her stomach jump without any consideration for y/n’s wellbeing.

“i know it’s not the best, but-.” she attempted to denounce her clear display of talent by breaking out the embrace, but jay only held onto her tighter. using what control he had to turn her around to face him. he had placed the sketch on the coffee table, so he could focus fully on the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

“it’s amazing,” jay assured, his gaze diving deep into the soul present behind the beautiful colours of y/n’s eyes. “you are amazing, i’m sorry i’m so busy.” y/n didn’t need an apology. she knew that jay’s job was much more demanding than her own. it just seemed being forced to do nothing didn’t feel as good as when she chose to do nothing before any of this quarantine business was mentioned. 

“do you want some help?” she offered, not wanting to intrude. her teeth brought in her bottom lip to bite in anticipation worried she had crossed the line. jay’s hand reached up to rest on the side of her face, his thumb resting on her chin as he brought it down to rescue her lip.

“you are the best, you know that?” 

“ugh, come on, romeo.” 

day 9 of lockdown

“okay-.” y/n began as she entered the bedroom, her body wrapped in a towel and her hair leaving water droplets behind her. it was sometime in the late afternoon and jay was laying on their bed. his attention had been caught by a book y/n had brought, but it had been stolen when she had entered the room.

“i don’t know what you’re about to say but i know it’s going to be a bad idea.” jay discouraged, he knew her. he knew her more than anyone else in this world. the way her voice had raised slightly at the end and she was currently avoiding eye contact with the detective, telling him that she was about to make to offer a foolish plan.

“no fair, you have to at least hear me out!” she whined like a child, searching around for her bras that were normally flung in different directions, thanks to a little too happy detective. jay watched her with a loving grin, she made him feel so alive. 

“okay, proceed.” he gestured as though he was king of the castle ordering his servants around. flicking her middle finger up at the man, disappearing into the bathroom once again, but her voice could still be made out.

“i want to dye my hair!” jay couldn’t see her face, but he could imagine the little hop she had done in excitement at telling him about her idea. “or maybe shave my head, you know, since lockdown could go on for the rest of the year, it’s not like anyone will see it.” 

letting out a deep chuckle, he waited until she reappeared to respond. her body, cladded in sweats (for once ones that belonged to her), collapsed down beside him. curling into the side of his body. she stared up at him dazedly, trying to read the thoughts behind his eyes.

“it’s your body, your choice,” he shrugged, his right hand coming to his side so he could grab ahold of her own. when interlocking their fingers, he made sure to run his thumb over her knuckles comforting. “i don’t care if you shaved off all your hair and your eyebrows whilst wearing a potato sack, you will always be beautiful to me.” 

“i love you.” she hummed, leaning up to kiss his lips.

“i love you too.” 

--

day 16 of lockdown

“y/n hurry up it’s on!” y/n heard as she grabbed a few beers from the fridge. as she reached the living room, she grinned at the sight of kevin, kim, adam, will, natalie on the computer screen. 

“hey guys!” she squealed, giving jay a beer before putting the rest on the coffee table that the computer currently rested on. 

“oh shit, now i owe kevin 10 bucks.” adam whined, his image slightly pixelated from his poor connection. frowning, y/n looked towards jay that was equally as confused. they then turned their gaze towards kevin, who wore a large smug smirk.

“ruzek here betted me 10 bucks that you two would have killed one another by day 14.” y/n let out a snort of laughter, throwing her head back in amusement. of course, kevin had bet in their corner, had it not been for him, jay and y/n wouldn’t have been together in the first place. 

“honestly i wouldn’t have blamed you, y/n,” will spoke up, “it takes a saint to deal with jay’s slobbiness. i think i have only ever seen jay clean his room twice, mom always took pity on him.” will chuckled, making jay cower in embarrassment. y/n had seen first-hand jay’s ability to create a mess in a matter of minutes. a stray sock here, an empty pizza box there. before she knew it, they were eligible for Hoarders USA. 

“shut up, will, are we starting this quiz or what?” jay changed the subject, trying to get over the embarrassment of being laughed at by their closest friends. in an attempt to cool him down, y/n hooked her pinky around his. offering him a soft smile when he looked up in her direction.

“hope you guys are ready to lose.” she teased, turning back to face the screen. jay watched the way she acted so freely, a kind smile never slipping from her face, her touch soothing his soul. at that moment he couldn’t help but think ‘this will be the woman i marry’

--

day 34 of lockdown

“-alright, alright i think he’s on his way. i’ll see you later.” y/n rushed out as she jumped off her position sat on the edge of the bed. her heartbeat was thumping against her chest as she shoved her phone back into her pocket, aware the sound of water had fallen silent. 

it was jay’s birthday and y/n had been planning it for the past two weeks. unfortunately, it was well known that y/n y/l/n was awful keeping secrets. it was as though when she knew something, good or bad, she felt an immense amount of pressure, which ended in her exploding and spilling all to the one person she normally wasn’t meant to. but she was determined that this would be like the other times. she had gone the extra mile in avoiding conversation with jay, knowing one slip and her whole plan was ruined. 

“hey, baby!” jay yelled, y/n’s body jumped in shock. his footsteps growing nearer until he appeared in front of him. his muscled torso on show as his bottom half was hidden away by a large grey towel. jay noticed y/n’s jumpy behaviour immediately, his eyes drawing nearer as he examined her face. “what’s wrong?”

“wrong? with me? pfft, nothing’s wrong with me. absolutely nothing. w-what’s wrong with you?” she rushed out, leaning her weight against the dressing table until her hand slipped and she quickly caught herself before hitting her head on the wood. jay shook his head in amusement, he had been worried for the past few days that he had upset the woman. she was unusually quiet, which normally indicated that something was wrong, considering she hated silence. 

“doesn’t matter.” 

seeing jay withdraw from her made her want to reach out, but her mind already ticked over to something else. running into the guest room, she reappeared with a shoe-like box. not knowing what to say, she shoved the box in his direction innocently. jay pecked her lips lightly, taking the box and taking a seat as he ripped the sparkly paper she had found in a random drawer.

removing the box lid, he peered into the box with curiosity. in a matter of seconds the teasing look fell from his face, replaced with a loss of words. in the box resided memories that up until that moment had been in the back of jay’s mind. letters that the pair had sent back and forth all those years ago when he had been enlisted in afghanistan. photos from jay’s police academy graduation, dates, christmases anything that held a sentimental feeling y/n wished to recreate. 

“y-you kept all this stuff?” he asked, his fingers grabbing a small blue teddy bear that’s fur was slightly matted from the dust that had tainted its texture and colour. the very bear y/n had brought jay the time he had broke his arm back when they were kids, she had forced her mother to buy the bear from the giftshop knowing that it would cheer the boy up. she was right, of course she was right.

“of course i did,” she whispered, resting her chin on his shoulder, watching him study each individual object. “throwing away any of this stuff made me feel like i was throwing a bit of us, you know?” y/n felt stupid, but only the slight blush on her cheeks gave it away to anyone that looked close enough.

“thank you, thank you for everything.” snaking his arms around her, he brought his chest close to his chest. sometimes he felt like they were still the kids that would climb through each other’s windows just so they could hold one another and remind the other they weren’t alone. “i love you so much, i’m so happy i have you in my life.” 

the tears brimming in y/n’s eyes were not missed by the detective, he didn’t miss anything she did. she was like art to him, something beautiful, at times a little misunderstood, but beautiful nevertheless. lifting his head to connect their lips, the two took their time, slowly allowing the lust to push its way through. before it could progress any further a loud blare made them jump apart.

“what the-.” jay began, watching as y/n pushed her way off the seat and running out the door. hesitantly he followed, leading his way out of the house until he found y/n grinning childishly. 

“happy birthday, man!” pulling his eyes away from his girl, he found the familiar cars driving slowly down the road. the lights on the large black cars blaring as kevin leaned out the front car, whilst adam and kim leaned out the second. with the confusion seeping into the feeling of surprise, he felt y/n leave his side before reappearing. this time, her arms held out a large cake that had clearly been homemade considering the way the lettering that spelt out ‘happy birthday, jay’ slowly got smaller towards the end.

“you did all this for me?” he asked astounded, despite y/n being the most affectionate and loving person he knew.

“of course i did,” she responded as if it was the most ridiculous questions she had ever heard. “i meant what i said jay, i love you. this is the least i could do considering all you do for me.” the heart to heart was rudely interrupted by the blaring of a car horn.

“you guys can do your thing later, just blow out the candles!” adam complained, earning a thwack over the arm by kim. “i mean, totally up to you, buddy. happy birthday!” 

jay chuckled, as he took in a deep breath and blew out the many candles that sprinkled over the sweet treat. before he ignored the cheers of his friends and kissed y/n passionately. 

“this might just be the best birthday ever.” he grinned. 

“happy birthday, baby.”

[isitgintimeyet]

Just A Friend

Previous

AO3

Another Sunday, another chapter. Hope it’s a good weekend for you all, despite these uncertain times. I always intended this story to be a bit of fluffy light relief from the real world. Thanks for all the support for it.

There will probably be another 3 chapters after this, depending on how the characters behave. I cant seem to make them do what I want sometimes!

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta

Chapter 11: From Marriage to Mackenzie

It’s 1pm and I’m in a hotel room, still in a bathrobe, sipping Buck’s Fizz whilst a hairdresser wrestles with my wayward curls, finally managing to corral them into some sort of recognisable hair style.

Geillis is sitting on the edge of the bed incongruously dressed in tiara and bathrobe, her hair arranged in an elaborate updo. I catch her eye through the dressing table mirror and smile before my vision is obscured by a miasma of hairspray.

A few final tweaks of my curls and it’s done. I am just amazed that my hair can be cajoled into such glossy, bouncy curls, held behind one ear by an ornately decorated comb. With suitable compliments and thanks, Geillis and I bid goodbye to the hairdresser.

The bride stands up and adjusts the belt of her robe. She seems the epitome of calm.

“Are you not nervous, Geillis? You’ll be walking down the aisle in about an hour’s time.”

“Weel, I am a wee bit worried about a couple of things,” she admits. “I dinna ken how ma cousin Janie will behave. She may try tae proposition every man under the age of seventy five. And as fer Dougal’s Uncle Eric—he has been known tae get steamin’ drunk and puke in the rose beds. But about the marrying? Nah, I dinna have any nerves about that. I want tae spend ma life wi’ Dougal and that’s what today is all about. I have nae worries about making that commitment. He’s the one fer me. When ye ken, ye ken. Trust me, Claire.”

The pocket of her bathrobe begins to buzz. She quickly pulls out her phone and reads the message.

“I’d best go. That was Mam, fretting about something or other. Are ye ok getting dressed on yer own?”

“I’ve managed for the past twenty nine years or so. I dare say I can manage another day.” I sigh theatrically.

“I ken. Ye can manage on yer own. Ye always do. But thanks fer being here with me today. It means a lot tae have the people who mean the most tae me around,” she leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “But remember what I said, Claire, when ye ken, ye ken. Dinna ignore it.”

Pausing at the interconnecting doorway, she does a quick body shimmy and grins. “Woo hoo! I’m getting married. Canna believe it’s here now,”

From the adjoining room, I can hear a shouted response. “Geillis Duncan, ye get here now. Yer mam reckons that makeup lassie has done her eyeliner wonky. It looks fine tae me. Can ye come and talk some sense in tae the daft cow?”

“Alright, Da, I’m coming.” Geillis yells back before leaving to deal with her parents.

I sit down and study my bridesmaid’s dress, now hanging on the wardrobe door. I’m getting excited about the day ahead. Probably not as much as Geillis, obviously, but a host of butterflies appears to have taken residence in the pit of my stomach.

I’m truly thrilled for Geillis to be marrying Dougal—they love each other so much. But, also, it’s scary to me. She is willing, eager even, to commit to one person, to base her future life, her future happiness on one man. If they should ever leave…well, I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with that. If you love too hard, you can hurt too much. Trust me on that, I know. People leave you. Don’t give your heart to anyone, keep it hidden away, protected…intact.

The ping from my phone diverts me from this somber train of thought.

I’m downstairs at the hotel. Can you come and say hello?

I quickly type:

Come up to the 2nd floor. I’ll meet you by the lift.

Making sure the keycard is in my pocket, I slip my feet into the hotel’s complimentary slippers and shuffle out to meet Jamie.

I’m already waiting as the lift door opens and he emerges. My first thought is oh wow, as is my second...and third. He has made an effort for this wedding, and it’s certainly paid off. Eschewing the more formal Prince Charlie style, he’s wearing a charcoal grey jacket and waistcoat, perfectly matching the grey in his kilt. A crisp white shirt and burgundy tie complement the secondary colours in the tartan. His sporran is black leather, heavily etched or embossed. I can’t quite make out the detail. Then I feel myself blush as I realise I have been clearly staring at his...er, lower body. I look up quickly.

Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to have noticed. He looks me up and down and smiles. “Nice outfit,” he comments drily. “Is the bride wearing white towelling too? What’s the theme? Salon chic?”And is that part of the design?” He points to an orange stain on the front of my robe. I pull a face and tie the belt tighter, trying to tuck the offending piece of material out of sight.

“Must have spilled a drop of my Buck’s Fizz.”

“Drinking already? Dinna be staggering down the aisle.”

He reaches out towards my hair and pauses for a second before making a random circular motion with his hand. “And this…I like yer hair. It’s verra…verra…” he searches for the word. “... asymmetric.”

“Thank you,” I hold the ‘skirt’ of my robe and bob a little curtsy. “That’s totally what we were going for—asymmetric.”

He laughs. “Nah, seriously. Yer hair and yer makeup look grand. I’m sure ye’ll look lovely in yer dress.”

I gesture to my room. “I’d best finish getting ready.”

“Aye, I’ll see ye downstairs.” He presses the button for the lift.

“By the way, you look grand too.” I try to say it in an understated way. It’s true, but I don’t want him to read anything into the statement.

The lift arrives and he steps inside. As the doors close, he fires a parting shot. “Especially the sporran, eh?”

*********

Now in my bridesmaid’s dress, I practice a couple of pirouettes in front of the mirror before hearing a quick knock on the door to the adjoining room.

“Ye ready, Claire? Mam’s jes’ gone down. Only us three left.”

I walk through to the other room to be met by a riot of open suitcases, bags and boxes. A variety of towels, dressing gowns and footwear seem to be carpeting the floor.

“‘S ok,” Geillis’ voice comes from behind me. “It’s no’ ma problem. I’m no’ sleeping here tonight. I’ll be in the bridal suite. This’ll be Mam and Dad’s room.”

I turn to see my best friend now fully dressed and ready. Her father is hovering next to her, clad in kilt and full formal regalia. I always knew she would win that battle.

As beautiful as she looks, the thing that really strikes me is the way her father is watching her, with such love and pride. She returns his gaze and brings her forehead to rest against his cheek.

I swallow hard, fighting the desire to shed a tear. It’s such a precious image, so intimate, but also, I realise that, since Lamb died, I have nobody, no father figure, to share something like this. I feel a momentary pang of, not jealousy, but a feeling of regret over an emotion that I will never get to experience.

And then, just like that, the moment passes.

It always does.

Geillis passes me a creamy white posy tied with a simple ribbon and gathers up her bouquet of peonies, roses and fragrant eucalyptus.

“OK,” she takes a deep breath and breaks into a huge grin. “I think I’m late enough tae get Dougal jes’ a wee bit nervous. Time tae roll.”

*******

The hotel’s orangery provides a perfect setting for the wedding ceremony. Softly diffused sunlight filters through the white muslin drapes at the large windows. A slight breeze wafts the fabric gently, giving tantalising glimpses of the formal gardens outside.

At the end of the room, Dougal and Angus stand beside a large arch of succulent green foliage, staring straight ahead as Geillis and her father begin the procession down the aisle with me following.

Even before he turns to look, I can spot Jamie — his auburn curls are head and shoulders above those around him. He stays still at first, but as we draw near he turns around and grins before doing his funny blink, screwing up his face and closing both eyes, which I have learnt, is Jamie’s attempt at a wink. I return his smile before focussing on the arch getting ever closer.

Dougal appears rooted to the spot, but Angus turns around and watches for a moment before giving me a perfectly executed wink. I smile politely even as I shudder inwardly. The sheer self confidence of that man is beyond belief. Then he disappears from my thoughts as Geillis reaches the arch and passes me her bouquet to hold. The joy on her and Dougal’s faces as they prepare to make their vows is wonderful and I’m so happy to be a part of it all.

***************

They say the sun shines on the righteous. Well, Geillis and Dougal must be exceptionally good, as it’s a perfect summer afternoon. It’s beautifully warm, but not too hot, as all the guests mingle in the gardens, admiring the beautiful surroundings whilst drinking chilled champagne.

The photographer has finished with the formal photographs, so I’m allowed to relax and enjoy a glass or two. I can still spot him wandering around, ready to take more natural, candid shots of the proceedings but nobody seems to mind.

I was initially worried about inviting Jamie to the wedding for a couple of reasons. The first was my friends. Of course, my friends are great, but Anna and Mary can sometimes have an issue with boundaries and I had visions of the ‘conversations’ they might try to have with Jamie — ‘nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition’ unless Anna and Mary are around.

The second reason was that Jamie would literally know only one person at this wedding —me. And that, when I was off doing official ‘wedding stuff’, he would be on his own, billy-no-mates. But, as I look around, I realise I had absolutely nothing to worry about on that score. He has the knack, it seems, to get on with everyone.

At the moment he’s talking to Geillis’s father, laughing and joking like they’re old friends. He notices me looking at him, lifts his empty glass up and points to me. I hold my glass up and nod. He excuses himself and strolls towards the bar.

There’s a slight touch on my elbow. “Hello, dear.”

I draw my attention to the old lady standing next to me—Geillis’ great aunt Frances. I’ve met her on a couple of occasions before and have always enjoyed her company. She’s a straight talker and makes no bones about it. “When ye get tae my age,” I remember her commenting to me “ye dinna have time tae beat about the bush, ye need tae say what ye think.” I like that in a person.

“Hello, how nice to see you.”

“Ye too,dear. I must say ye’re looking awfa bonnie in that dress. It’s a fine colour on ye.”

“Thank you. And you’re looking lovely yourself.”

Frances makes a self deprecating ‘hmph’ sound, dismissing my compliment with a wave of her hand. “Away wi’ ye. Ye do yer best wi’ what ye’ve still got. Which isna much in ma case.”

I shake my head. “Not at—“

But she decides to change the subject and moves on with her next question. “Is that yer young man over there?” She points at Jamie, heading towards us with two glasses of champagne. “He’s a handsome chap, is he no’? Mind ye, that’s no more than ye deserve. Sae, mebbe ye’ll be next?”

“No, we—“

I have no chance to say anything more, before Jamie is by my side and handing me one of the glasses. I take a sip as he notices that Frances has no drink and, without hesitation, he passes the second glass to her.

“Aren’t ye kind… er?” She accepts gratefully.

“Jamie.”

“Weel, Jamie, let me tell ye. It’s been a long while since a good looking young man has brought me a drink. I should make the most of it. Anyway, I was jes’ saying tae our Claire here, how bonnie she looks today. Does she no’?”

She fixes her gaze on Jamie, demanding an answer.

“Aye, she looks lovely.” His eyes meet mine for a second, before I look away and try to change the subject.

“Don’t you think Geillis looks beautiful, Frances?”

But, it seems that Frances has one line of conversation that she is keen to pursue. “Oh aye, she does. But, Jamie, I was jes’ saying tae Claire that mebbe she’ll be next. What d’ye think?”

Fortunately, I’m spared any response as a gong sounds and the maître d’ announces that dinner is served and that everyone should make their way inside to the dining room.

****************

Having narrowly avoided any embarrassment, I am somewhat apprehensive to see Frances at our table. Fortunately, Geillis’ cousin and baby are enough to divert her attention away from any matrimonial prospects that may or may not be on my horizon.

With Jamie sitting by my side, I catch him up on all the behind the scenes activity of my day and we fall into our pattern of easy conversation and gentle banter. From time to time, I can see Frances, opposite, watching us with a look of approval on her face, but she says nothing.

Once the speeches and toasts are over, there’s a palpable change in the guests. Jackets are draped over chair backs, sleeves rolled up and waistcoat buttons undone. I can spot more than one woman moving awkwardly in her chair, struggling to locate the shoes that were eased off out of sight under the table. Cheeks become flushed with an abundance of rich food and tongues become looser with a surfeit of fine wine.

I sip my whisky, savouring its peaty smokiness. Jamie is in a serious rugby related conversation with his neighbour. A rustle of fabric behind me announces the arrival of the bride, a look of frustration on her face.

She greets the table politely before whispering “Can I borrow ye, Claire?”

I make my excuses and follow her into a quieter room.

“What’s up, Geillis? Is everything alright?” I’m concerned that there’s something genuinely wrong.

“It’s his bloody family,” she hisses. “The Mackenzies, if ye give them an inch, they’ll take a fuckin’ mile.”

She takes a deep breath and continues. “Dougal invited his second cousin Gary and his wife tae our evening do. Jes’ the two of them mind. Sae they turn up an hour and a half early and try tae cadge dessert and brandies from the waiters.”

“Where are they now?”

“Och, they’re sitting outside wi’ a couple of spare bottles of wine.” She gestures angrily to the gardens visible through the window. “And they’ll be first in the queue fer the buffet this evening, nae doubt. And what's more, they took it upon themselves tae bring their three bairns too. Weel, I say bairns, but they’re all in their twenties so it’s no’ as if they dinna have a babysitter.”

She finally sits down and lets her shoulders relax.

I take her hand and try to look serious. If this is the worst thing that happens today, that’s not so bad. Although clearly, in Geillis’ eyes, this is a catastrophe. “It’s not going to spoil anything really is it? They didn’t gatecrash the meal or the speeches,” I speak in a soothing tone. “Are you ok now?”

She nods. “Happen ye’re right. I jes’ wanted tae get it off ma chest. And I kent what I was getting in tae wi’ his family. But tae drag Gregory, Alicia and Laoghaire uninvited wi’ them jes’ pisses me off.”

I stare at her. “Laoghaire? Laoghaire Mackenzie?”

“Aye, that’s right. Unusual name, is it no’? Ye dinna find many of them around—thank god.”

[aliwritesfic]

So since you did the cutest job with my mini golf ask…wondering what the TF boys would be like while tie dying with Frankie and his daughter?! I’m attempting to do that tomorrow with my son lol. Please and thank you if you’d like to explore the idea. 🥰😘

First of all, I am SO SORRY this took so long, I've been so busy with uni and forcing myself to actually do the work this semester (who would've thought I could actually apply myself) but I really enjoyed this, and it's actually made me want to go out and do some tie-dying of my own.

Anyways, here's Tie-Dye Tueaday

W/C: 1.6k

T-Minus 5 Hours Until Disaster

“Daddy?” a soft voice rose Frankie out of his fitful sleep. He distantly felt a tiny, warm hand rest on his cheek.

“Yes, cricket?” he mumbled voice heavy with sleep, struggling to open his heavy eyes. He had stayed up until the small hours of the morning frantically researching for the day, watching YouTube videos, making notes, doing whatever he could to prepare.

“Mommy’s going and said I should wake you up,” Everly pulled herself up onto the bed and sat down directly on Frankie’s bladder. He winced and pushed her off gently, wondering just how she always managed to find the worst spot to sit.

“Have you had breakfast?” Frankie asked, and Everly nodded. He said a silent thanks to his ever-amazing wife, who would be spending the day getting massages and facials and whatever else her heart desired before pushing out twins in less than two months’ time. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around that – there would be two more tiny humans in his life soon. The thought left him exhilarated and riddled with anxiety all at once.

Frankie carried Everly downstairs on his back, grabbing his cap from the dresser on his way. The boys would be here soon – they had agreed that tie dying alone with a hyper four year old was a terrible idea, so they were coming to dye something of their own and help Frankie keep a handle on things. Benny was especially excited to dye his shorts to wear to his next fight.

They were halfway through Coco, Everly’s favourite movie, when the front door opened and in came his three best friends, men he had no relation to but considered brothers. Everly went straight to Benny, who was undoubtedly her favourite of them. Frankie had his suspicion that is was because Benny loaded her up on sugar whenever he could. Sure enough, Frankie could see a packet of candy in the plastic bag Benny carried.

“You ready for this?” Will asked, placing a six pack in the fridge. Frankie sighed and nodded.

“Ready as I can be. It can’t go too badly, right?”

~

T-Minus 3 Hours Until Disaster

The sun was bright and hot on their backs as they set up. Everly sat in the shade of the oak tree, a cup of lemonade in one hand, and her favourite doll in the other. Frankie had forbidden her from coming out in the sun until the sunscreen was fully absorbed, which according to his watch wouldn’t be for another few minutes. It occurred to him that since becoming a father, his mind was filled with worries that he never even considered beforehand.

Frankie had brought dyes in every colour he could, several plastic tubs had been fished out of storage and so many ties that he was sure he would be finding them all around the yard for weeks to come.

“Whatta ya dying, Ev?” Santi called to Everly.

“Purple!” She responded, holding up a pristine white pair of cotton shorts and a shirt.

“Just purple?” Will asked.

“And pink and blue and green!” Everly jumped up, setting her cup down carefully and ran over. “I want it swirly. You should be rainbow wiggles.” She told her father seriously. Will grinned.

“She’s a natural born leader,” he said with more than a touch of pride.

“Just like her mother,” Frankie replied. He took the clothes that Everly held out and began to scrunch and fold them according to the instructions he had written down while watching YouTube last night. The whole thing seemed a lot easier when he was watching through a screen.

Everly chose her dyes as Frankie folded, occasionally handing a certain colour to one of the boys, telling them that they hadto use it. None of them wanted to defy the four year old, so each accepted his colours without protest. Benny seemed quite thrilled when he was given a colour labelled Hot Barbie Pink.

“So many guys will be so fuckin’ embarrassed to get their ass beat by a guy in pink shorts,” Benny grinned.

“Language, Ben!” Frankie darted a frantic look towards Everly, who stood with a cunning smile on her face. Frankie knew that she knew exactly what she wasn’t supposed to say.

“Fuck! Ass!” she declared. Will snorted and Santi had to turn away, face turning bright red from holding in laughter.

Frankie gaped, lost for words for a moment. “Everly, don’t ever say that, but especially the first one, and especially not in front of mommy, okay?”

“Why not?”

Frankie shot a look to Benny, who at least looked a tiny bit sorry. “They’re big people words. Each time you say one your . . . hair gets less curly.”

Everly, who loved her curly hair, looked stricken. Frankie felt bad about lying to his kid, but not as bad as he would’ve felt if his wife came home to a child cussing like she had just strolled out of the military.

The words seemed forgotten as the dye was applied. Everly was surprisingly artful in the way she applied the dye, carefully creating patterns that didn’t make much sense to Frankie but must have made sense to her.

T-Minus 30 Minutes Until Disaster

The group of them sat around the dining room table, beers for the boys and juice for Everly. Most of them had small flecks of multi-coloured dye on their hands, but Frankie was sure they would come off easity. Everly had scoffed down her lunch, and now sat staring outside, looking antsy.

“Go play if you want to,” Frankie said, “you don’t have to sit here.” Frankie was confident there wasn’t anything in the backyard that could pose a danger to her, and besides, he had a view of almost the whole yard from the table.

Everly tore off like a hurricane, juice forgotten as she ran outside, doll in hand.

“If the twins are anything like her . . .” Santi began, taking a sip of his drink. “Fish, you’re gonna have your hands full.”

“If they’re anything like Ev, they’ll be great kids,” Benny said. Will rose his beer bottle. ‘But yeah, you’re definitely gonna have your hands full.”

“Amen, I’ll drink to that,” he said. Frankie nodded and had a sip himself. They talked for a while about football, Benny’s next fight, Santi’s new flame.

Then a thought occurred to Frankie.

“Is it quiet out there?” he craned his neck to investigate the yard and saw . . . nothing. Frankie shot up from his seat, panic rising in his chest. “Everly?” He almost tripped over himself in his haste to get to the backyard. Every worst case scenario was forming in his head.

“Ev?” Benny was beside him in an instant.

“Daddy?” Everly wandered out from behind the tree, and Frankie took a deep breath, calming himself. She was unscathed . . . except for the dye that now stained her arms, legs, face, hair. She was grinning widely, and held up her doll, who was also covered in a rainbow of dye.

“Cricket, what did you do?” Frankie gaped, wondering just how she managed to get almost every inch of exposed skin in such a short amount of time.

“Miss Mildew wanted her hair to be pretty,” Everly explained.

“Your dolls name is Miss Mildew?” Santi asked, red in the face with held back laughter. Everly nodded proudly. She had heard the word on television one night and latched onto it.

“What do you think is worse,” Will murmured to Benny, “Ev swearing, or Ev covered in dye?”

“Swearing,” Benny said snickering, “you can wash out the dye, you can’t unlearn a word.”

“What word?” Everly asked. Ears of a hawk, Frankie thought.

“The word you’re not allowed to say,” Will said.

“And what word would that be?” A smooth voice behind them almost made Frankie jump out of his skin. His wife, beautiful and terrifying all at once, stood on the patio, one hand on her stomach, the other on her hip.

“Fuck!” Everly declared loudly and proudly.

“Teaching my child new words, I see, Benjamin.”

Benny to his credit, at least looked more apologetic than he did with Frankie.

Frankie’s wife waddled down into the yard and set her gaze on her husband. “That dye won’t make her sick will it?”

“No, no, not at all,” he said. He had specifically brought kid friendly, skin safe, non-toxic dye.

“Good. Then I’m gonna go lie down and try and forget my four-year-old just said the eff-word and is every colour under the sun.” His wife shook her head and rolled her eyes at Benny. Once she was inside, Frankie turned to Everly.

“C’mon, we gotta clean you up,” he reached to pick Everly up who shook her head.

“We gotta see what they look like first!” she said. Frankie considered her point and nodded.

“Alright, cricket,” he said. They unravelled the clothes to a chorus of oohs and aahs, Everly clapped her green hands together as her multi-coloured shorts and top were revealed.

Benny sheepishly wandered over to Frankie as he put everything in the washing machine. “Hey man, I really am sorry about that.”

Frankie shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Just buy the missus as much caffeine as she wants when she’s done breastfeeding and she’ll forget all about it.”

“I hope so. Her bad side is not a place I wanna be.”

Frankie laughed and scooped up Everly in his arms. Her curls were streaked with blue and her cheeks were magenta. “Trust me, she won’t stay mad for long. I don’t think she’s that mad to be honest.”

“You don’t?” Benny sounded unsure.

“Well she didn’t yell, and it looked like she was trying not to laugh. All things considered, I think today was a success story.”

Tagging @sharkbait77 because I think you’d enjoy this

[lunaticpuppetmaster]

  My contribute for Konoha Simps server collab! 

Trying to do both drabble and an art was a poor decidion as i am a lil bit late. 

Special Thanks to @pfreadsandwrites who beta-readed this drabble!

Title: Lost and Found.

Pairing: Kiba Inuzuka x OC (Tsubasa Yuki)

Summary: Everyone knows that everything you lose will end up in your soulmates possesions. Some people go crazy trying to find their destined one with practically no information. Tsubasa was never interested in finding hers and there is a chance she would never be able to.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, hurt/comfort

Word count: 6907

   When the first symptoms of the family curse appeared, Tsubasa already knew she was doomed. The sickness was rare and there wasn’t much information about it in the Yuki clan library even before the genocide, while after it…  well, no information survived. To be honest she did not have much hope at the beginning when her ice-natured chakra just only started to act like a parasite, eating her body and breaking thin bones.

But her sensei had. Mei had always been protective of her pupils, acting like a big sister even after the trio passed the chunin exam. So, when the worst happened, she used all her resources in order to save one of them. Unfortunately, even Kirigakure medics famous for their body knowledge were unsuccessful. The only hope was the best medic alive, Tsunade-hime herself.

Tsubasa did not know how she convinced Tsunade to help or what she promised to her (probably rare Kiri herbs), but the sannin agreed to work on her case. She didn’t promise a cure. To the girl’s pleasure, unlike her sensei, the 5th hokage was rational and she stated right from the start that the chances of recovery were very low and more likely she would just extend the Yuki girl’s agony. It was hurtful, but honest. Tsubasa always respected honesty… and her sensei. She had no other choice, but to promise Mei that she will fight till the end even though she did not want to.

“Maybe you will find your soulmate there,”- said Mei before her departure.

Mei was one of those people who always wanted to find their soulmate, however that was not the reason why she said it. She appreciated different manifestations of love: between friends, parental, sisterly and etc. She also knew that Tsubasa was a pessimist and even the love of people who were close to her was not enough to restore her will to live. At least if she were deeply in love with her soulmate, Mei hoped that Tsubasa could finally find the strength to fight.

Soulmates were always a bone of contention between different social groups: commoners, nobility and shinobi. Especially the last one. Missions and loyalty towards the village must be a number one priority for a ninja. But with soulmates everything became much harder.

Still even the biggest soulmate deniers tried their best to ‘lose things’. Even though little was known about soulmates nature, over the years people were able to learn a couple of useful things:

1 - Every item you lose will end up in your soulmate’s possessions.

2 - You cannot send a letter or any kind of writing this way.

3 - You cannot just throw away a random thing in the air or leave it intentionally on a park bench. So, you must really lose the thing to make it reach your soulmate.

The world was never peaceful. Neither for commoners nor shinobi, so desire to help for so called “true one” was understandable. People tried to tie various useful items with slim strings to their clothes like meds and water. When it came to shinobi they usually tied small scrolls to their bags or jackets hoping that during fights the thread would be cut or ripped and the item lost. Such scrolls were usually filled with food, kunais or ninja pills. Supplies that suddenly appeared managed to save some shinobi on the verge of death more than once. So even soulmate deniers had an opinion that it was practical to help the soulmate and very rude to ignore it. Help for help, life for life, nothing more. Tsubasa was one such person.

Of course, every skilled shinobi could tell from which village the lost item appeared.

Yuki’s soulmate for example was from Konoha. Her teammate Hiroto recognized a specific plant in a found ninja pill. So, she had some chances to run into him during her stay.

But Tsubasa did not want a soulmate. She did not need some stranger. She wanted to stay in Kiri and spend her last days with people she loved with all her heart and soul. Hadn’t she suffered enough? It didn’t look like it.

This was how she ended up in Konoha; or rather in a spare room of Yamanaka-hime’s house. Although Tsunade made efforts, in Yuki’s opinion, she clearly did not have an intention to heal her, but to collect information about how the disease proceeds under various factors, in order to save other unfortunate ones… Tsubasa could tell it from her students. Tsunade put her under the care of somewhat inexperienced newbies, ones who could crawl into her head and feel the patient’s condition themselves. Tsubasa did not blame her for that. She would be happy if her death could help someone. The girl rather felt sorry for distracting Ino from her more important patients. The hime herself was cheerful and sunny person, but in moments that required professionalism she could turn cold and focused with the flick of a finger. “She would be a perfect clan leader one day,” Tsubasa thought.

To be honest Yamanaka’s jutsu was useful for more than just therapy. When they first met, Yuki just simply let Ino read her mind and see her past. It was much faster and easier, plus all the secret information she knew as an ANBU was sealed. In order to get it, they would have had to use much stronger and more traumatic jutsu (and of course torture). Moreover, she was going to die soon, so did it really matter how many people knew her story?

Though when Tsubasa saw the girl’s blank face after reading her mind, she felt guilty. The blonde stayed silent for a few seconds before giving her a hug. She did not need words to say that she will do her best.

    Ino was easy to befriend. She also was good at distracting from negative thoughts. Between her regular Tsunade checkups and preparations for missions (It was important to monitor the development of the disease in the field, and all missions would be related to information gathering about the Yuki clan) they were chatting, watching movies and sometimes working in the flower shop. Thanks to Tsubasa’s honey-coloured hair most people mistook her as a distant relative of Yamanaka, so no one asked questions.

Once they ended up talking about soulmates. It started when Ino found some spilled ink on her carpet one day. Hime did not know much about her soulmate except he was really… an artistic type. Through the years she collected various brushes, pencils, erasers and doodles. Once she even found a whole sketchbook (unfortunately half torn)! But there was one thing that made her upset. He never “lost” anything to help her like the majority did.

“Maybe he is from a strict ninja family or a specific ANBU team”, she said with a sad smile.

If Ino’s soulmate was artistic, Tsubasa’s was… quite “special”. Because only a “special” person would end up losing a 6-kilo bag of dog food. Even now, after seven years Tsubasa sometimes wondered ‘how?’.. It was not a pen or a trinket which could be easily left on an academy desk, but a giant bag of dog food! No, he was a good soulmate who was “losing” supplies for her (that once saved her teammate’s life) unlike Ino’s, but still… Even when the blonde heard about it, she could not believe it and then started to laugh hysterically. After such silly small talks Tsubasa felt like she wasn’t fully alone in this foreign village. It almost felt like she had found a friend.

Unlike the other forced teammate.

Every village had a system of having at least 3 people in a team. Moreover, Tsubasa was suffering from her disease and Ino concentrated on helping her. They needed another member.

Tsubasa did not like him from the start. He was loud, narcissistic, clingy and insolent. The kunoichi was easily fed up with his behaviour. She spat out what exactly she thought of him to his face before going back to the Yamanaka estate. Only when she was alone in her room, she understood all her stupidity. She shouldn’t have acted so idiotic and lose her cool. It was essential for a ninja. She also understood why he was chosen among all of the shinobi. As a member of the Inuzuka clan he had a ninken who was already big enough to carry a man. It would be useful in case she became unconscious due to the illness. But she could not help it. A lot of bad things were going on in her life. She felt useless and helpless since she was banned from using her ice chakra. Mei also banned her from using anything that would hide her emotions. She thought that Tsubasa finally needed to learn how to speak and deal with new people. Babysitting was not helpful, so she wanted to try something more radical. Tsubasa understood, but understanding wasn’t enough to cope with the stress. Now she was sitting in the corner of her room shivering. Usually, she would take her father’s mask – the only thing left after his death- and put the cold material close to her forehead thinking what he would say or do. She couldn’t do it any longer. Some of her belongings and a mask were lost during a powerful chakra release at the beginning of the disease.

A few minutes passed before she started to feel better. A sudden knock on the door took her out of thoughts. Tsubasa went to open it thinking it would be Ino. Unfortunately, it was him. The cause for today’s bad mood and their third teammate – Kiba Inuzuka himself. She sighed and looked at him through the door, hiding most of her body behind it. The young man in front of her hesitated and looked a little bit strange or uncertain.

”Listen, I came here to apologise.“

Tsubasa raised her brow. Surely she should have been the one to apologise?. Plus, the boy looked like someone who would rather make a bunch of excuses and snap back than accept he was wrong.

“Well, I shouldn’t have invaded your personal space in the first place.” He scratched the back of his head and looked away. Judging by his behavior, the girl started to understand what actually made his behavior change.“And …uhm, Ino told me about your case so…”

“Showed you,” said Yuki her guess as a statement.

”She d-did not show me much!”

”That’s okay. I don’t mind and Ino knows that.”

“Anyway, I want to start on a clean slate. Here, take it. It’s a half mask and a bottle of blue paint so you can customize it with your clan symbol.”

”Actually…”

“I know that you are not allowed to use anything to hide your emotions, but it is a half mask and I made the holes for eyes bigger so your emotions will be perfectly visible. This is not technically breaking the rule and you will definitely feel better due to your um… well, habit. Just enjoy it, okay? I have to go now, bye!

“W-wait! I cannot…”

But the boy already left, forcing the girl to accept.

After that, though the relationship between the trio smoothed out, it was far from perfect. Tsubasa preferred to act more as a solo player despite her health condition, Kiba was still too loud and tried to act like the leader he never was and Ino … Ino tried not to go crazy in this whole mess called a team. However, overall, their missions were rather calm. Perhaps the three of them needed time to get used to each other before they could accept the others’ faults and learn to compromise. The tension completely disappeared at rest time, when tired teenagers passed time by talking to each other. Often they talked about soulmates. Someone was consulting with others about what would be more useful to seal in a tie-down scroll, the other one was looking through a travel bag for new supplies (or accidentally dropped useless things), another was thinking about loud who their soulmate might be. On one of such days, all of a sudden Tsubasa discovered earrings in a sealed scroll. They were simple and consisted of three deep blue feathers each. The girl looked at them in surprise, not knowing how to react. But, on the contrary, Ino reacted too happily.

“These are so cute! And they match your eye color! Quite a nice present for a soulmate that has never seen you.”

“This must have been a mistake.”

“It was in a scroll. How could this be a mistake? Looks like your soulmate really wishes to meet you and…”

“I don’t need a soulmate, Ino! Like, I don’t believe in perfect matches made by spiritual forces or some sort. I never wanted to have him in the first place! I have a dream to achieve, a family in Kiri. No way if I survive, I will leave it all behind because of some questionable romance! That’s ridiculous!”

Ino sighed and Kiba remained silent. The conversation came to an end. But not the attention from Tsubasa’s soulmate or their mission.

One of those days, when all sorts of cute things and sweets instead of standard ammunition began to show up in Tsubasa’s scrolls more and more, their group stumbled upon really strong opponents. The longer the battle continued the more obvious it became that they were not going to win. Unless Tsubasa broke the rule and used her clan’s abilities. Mei’s order, both as sensei and as Mizukage, always stood above many moral principles for Yuki, but now it was a completely different case. Neither Ino nor Kiba with the sweetest and bravest Akamaru should have been involved in this from the very beginning. They were not supposed to die or risk their lives because of some terminally ill girl from another village and a questionable contract between their Kages. They must live, survive and Tsubasa made up her mind. At first, she managed to eliminate a couple of ninjas and slightly injure the rest using the element of surprise. She was incredibly lucky, because the disoriented opponents were much easier to finish off for Kiba and Ino. Tsubasa by this moment had already lost her eyesight from the tension and saw the battlefield only as a set of white and light gray colors. She lost her breath and her strength to stand upright. But it was nothing compared to the pain that washed over her seconds later.

     The kunoichi screamed in pain as she felt blood filling her mouth and an ice crust covering her internal organs. She fell on the cold dusty ground, heart-rendering screams leaving her lips with the blood pulsing her temples, ice needles tearing the muscles of her arms and legs. It seemed like nothing existed except for the all-consuming pain. Through the wall of never-ending white noise, she heard the sounds of Ino’s commands and Akamaru’s frightened barking. This was the last thing she felt before passing out.

Tsubasa woke up with a heavy head and pain all over her body. She listened to her senses before opening her eyes… and it would have been better not to listen to them. Someone brazenly pressed her close to their body and sniffed into the ear. When she opened her eyes the girl immediately screamed. In general, it was a completely normal reaction when you find yourself half-dressed in the arms of an equally half-dressed man. Of course, given that she was half-asleep, her only response was a stream of unpleasant curses and swearing. At first Kiba, who was still sleepy, was happy that the girl woke up, but soon joined the exchange of curses until a joyful, but terribly tired Ino ran up to them, immediately trying to interrupt the catfight and change the topic. Kiba waved his hand resentfully and went off in an unknown direction. Ino stayed with Tsubasa alone.

“Sit down and drink this.”

“Okay, but can I ask you a question first? What the hell happened here?”

”Your disease went out of control. I could barely suppress it. This time it was… too strong. Not like before. When I was finally able to improve your condition, you were still unconscious, your temperature dropped to terribly low levels, and some ice crystals did not disappear. We didn’t risk taking you back to the village in such poor condition. At first, we tried to wrap you up warm, but that didn’t help. Your clothes were quickly soaked by the cold coming from you and it only aggravated your condition. Then we decided that we would warm you one by one with the heat of our bodies. Well, Akamaru too.

Tsubasa howled in embarrassment and Ino sighed.

“Don’t worry. I think Kiba understands what the situation looked like for you. Or he will understand. He is a hot-head, you know, and he needs some time to calm down. But he will.”

”Still, that doesn’t change the fact that I snapped at him twice for literally nothing, especially the last time when I should have said ‘thank you for trying to save my dumb ass’. I feel terrible.”

The blonde girl patted her dejected friend on the shoulder and then said, “ Drink the medicine or, I swear to God, you will regret that you woke up.

The group’s return journey took place in silence. Despite the fact that Tsubasa apologized to Kiba and he accepted the apology, the kunoichi was still tormented by her conscience. She needed to apologize to him properly. Stealing a glance at the still visible ice crystals on her hand, a thought flashed through her: “While I can still do it.”

Night is definitely a wonderful and mysterious time of the day. Too bad that not everyone can enjoy its beauty, but there are also some who would be glad to miss it. For example, some unfortunate souls from the Inuzuka clan. It just so happened that a heightened sense of smell was not the only animal trait some clan members shared. Heightened hearing, too. In battle it was somewhat useful while in everyday life - irritating. During the day, in a mixture of noises, it did not cause much discomfort, but at night, when all the sounds disappeared, a can kicked by a drunk felt like a hit in the head. It is not surprising that such “lucky” clan members often suffered from insomnia and generally lived in the rhythm of night owls, which was very difficult for the shinobi world, where everyone was entirely early birds.

So was Kiba. However, tonight it felt different. His day was active and the sounds on the street did not disturb him, still he could not sleep. It seemed that the whole atmosphere of the house became more and more oppressive with every second spent inside, and the inner desire to walk through the village at night became stronger with every minute. He just wanted to go outside and run. He did not know where, but somewhere, where it was important for him to be now. In the end, when he accepted the fact that he obviously would not sleep today, the young man called his faithful dog and quietly left the house. The night was calm and fresh from the recent rain. Perhaps even too much, but it did not bother Kiba. He gladly wandered through old village streets, breathing in deeply the cold night air until he found himself near the playground. Or better to say, found someone.

Tsubasa sat on the swing all hunched up, almost motionless like a statue, and although this time her face wasn’t hidden by a mask, but her honey hair, Kiba knew that the girl was clearly not radiating joy.

“May I sit?,” he asked. Tsubasa didn’t even flinch.

“Yes.”

Kiba looked at the girl. When they first met, she was strong, cold and impenetrable. A true warrior. But now things were different. As a shinobi, he was not afraid to die on the battlefield, surrounded by dead and, possibly, even rotting bodies. But seeing a person fade like this, when they were unable to do anything about their state, when they burned out like a candle, turning with every second into a pale copy of their former self is what really scared him. At first, he didn’t care much what would happen to Yuki, but now, when her life glimmered on a candle stub, saving her was important. Either she will survive, and he will get rid of animal all-consuming fear, or her pale face, disfigured by illness, in the tongues of the funeral flame will haunt him till the end of his days.

Akamaru rested his head on Tsubasa’s lap. Still lost in her heavy thoughts, Yuki let her hands go of the swing chain and started to mechanically stroke and scratch the ninken behind the ears.

”Hey Tsu, I know that you are that type of shinobi who tries to follow the code perfectly. But we are not made of steel. You are not made of steel. You are feeling bad and tired. It’s unlikely that I will hear something that Ino did not show me or did not hear from you. Sharing pain as a shinobi is hard, but it’s even harder to keep your cool when you are on the verge of being broken by your own emotions. Even though I talk too much, anything you tell me tonight will stay here, I promise. So, tell me what’s eating you.

”You’re right. I am tired. I am weak, although I’ve tried to prove myself otherwise for my whole goddamn life. Even when I felt bad and thought that everything was lost, I clung to a few good things that I had. What does not kill makes us stronger, and the world, even drowning in war and blood, is still too beautiful to give up, especially the little things that everyone forgets. That’s what my father taught me. My path has never been covered with rose petals. Well.., for most people, actually. Still, I didn’t stop fighting for the people I love. Only when the clan curse showed itself… I was really scared. I felt completely helpless. And after the recent events… Fuck all my experience, knowledge and even more ranks. I am useless. I… I must accept the truth. I will die soon Kiba and I do not want to die here.”

Her previously smooth and still voice started to crack. Her shoulders shivered slightly.

“You, Ino and your friends are wonderful people and in general I like Konoha, but it will never be my home, and you will never replace my family. I hate to break promises, but I really don’t want to keep the one I gave to sensei and friends. I just want to give up and go back to Kiri. I miss them so much and want to see them one last time. Besides there is also one thing that bothers me…”

Mei was not that wrong when she said that Tsubasa might fall in love in Konoha. She actually did, but not with the soulmate destined by the stars. She fell in love with an eccentric, slightly arrogant and silly boy who may have not really known her, but still tried to help. Simply because he did not lose faith in her or their team, because he acted friendly with her and could cheer her up even in her darkest moments. For the fact that he could knock on the window at one in the morning and invite her into the forest to look at the fireflies. Just like that. It wasn’t like love at first sight, or a long courtship. With each passing day her feelings grew stronger washing over her like waves. Unfortunately, there were few “BUTs” that Tsubasa could not ignore:

She was from another village and even though there were many bad things in the hidden Mist, she was not going to betray it or move anywhere. She promised herself to help Sensei make the village a better place, and she was not going to give up on her dream either. Kiba was also too loyal to his family and friends. He would never leave them for some Kirigakure girl.

Moreover, Tsubasa felt guilty about her soulmate. Yes, she never saw him, but that did not stop him from taking care of her and obviously dreaming about their meeting. It would be wrong just not to care about his feelings.

Most importantly, that applied to both Kiba and the unknown “true one” - she was dying. She was a weak sick girl who had a month left to live at best. Of course, she could confess her feelings to the boy next to her right now, feel loved and die with a drop of happiness… But was it fair for Kiba who would have to live with this burden until the end of his days? Definitely not. She couldn’t do that to him. That’s why she would rather stay silent, burn out from her feelings, because at least she would not let him suffer.

“I just don’t know what to do… I feel lost.”

She lifted her head, blue feathers of her earnings blowing in the wind. Her face was emotionless and her body calm, yet uncontrollable tears were streaming down her face.

The boy took her freezing hand and pulled her into a hug. Tsubasa bit her lip, burying her face in his shoulder and soaking his jacket with tears.

”You lost only because you gave up right away as soon as you found out about your diagnosis! Stop thinking about the fucking disease! Focus on something else! Not on the loved ones, since it causes you so much pain. Focus on your dreams! On your soulmate!”

“Why are you so obsessed with the idea of soulmates?”

“Why are you so disgusted with the idea itself?”

She let his hand go and exhaled. There was no trace of her emotional outburst except for her bloodshot eyes. Tsubasa grabbed the swing chains, thinking for a second.

“I do not believe in fairy tales about gods, who loved each other and were separated, that blessed all mortal couples with a secret connection, in revenge to the rest of the pantheon. Why did everyone suddenly start to think that it was a love connection? What if that bond means a strong friendship? And how can finding lost things help my soulmate find me or specifically, my body? The only variant I see is where you tattoo the coordinates on your hand and lose it in battle. An ‘excellent’ plan! Moreover, where are the guarantees that soulmate couples will be happy? Give me one example.”

”Ino’s parents are soulmates.”

Both of them suddenly turned silent.

”As far as I know, Mrs. Yamanaka did not even know our language when she arrived here. She was from another country, with completely different customs, still she risked going into the unknown. And I don’t know any stronger couple.”

“The way you talk about it… Your parents aren’t soulmates either, are they?”

He nodded.

”Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother. In fact, my father left when I was one year old, so she and my sister raised me. But… My mother is a very difficult person. As far as I can remember, it was always important for her to be the first and she never cared about the feelings of others. This is good for a warrior, but not for a family member. She could easily say things that will hurt you, including the ones she said on purpose, as a joke in order to please her ego. When you tried to talk to her about this and ask her to tone it down a little, she pretended to listen at first, but soon forgot about it. As for my father, he was not from our clan, not even from our village. He was a stranger and ended up being at the very bottom of the clan’s hierarchy. My sister said that he could stand a lot of things, but not the betrayal and disregard towards him from his once loved one. Of course, this was not the only reason he left. After that, looking at how Ino’s parents perfectly understand each other and always try to find a compromise, on how strong their union is… I want the same kind of family. Yes, I can act like my mother, be short tempered and impulsive. I think you noticed it when we first met. I admit I behaved horribly, but with people close to me, whom I don’t want to lose, I try to control myself and work on it.”

“That’s… amazing Kiba. And despite the fact that you mostly act like a jerk -” he snorted and a small smile formed on her lips- “I have to admit that after knowing you better, I have respect for you. You don’t try to please everyone. You give all of yourself and your warmth only to the ones that are close to you. Only to those who, in your opinion, deserve it, disregarding the rest. This is right. I share the same point of view. But since you really want to find your soulmate, have you ever thought that you might end up being the one to leave your home? Are you ready for such a sacrifice yourself?”

Kiba fell silent. At first it seemed that he was deep in thought, but in reality, everything was different. He was frightened and listened to the silence of the night trying to find out if someone was eavesdropping on them. For a moment, the girl even thought that he used ninjutsu to sniff out strangers and make sure that there were no one near them.

As white as a sheet, he took her hand and ‘wrote’ his answer on the inside of her palm with a finger:

“Yes”

She glanced at him. His actions spoke louder than words.

“Your father is dead, isn’t he?”

”Were you born in a clan or joined it later, you cannot leave it.”

”I understand. After all, in Kiri, a lot is happening inside our clans too.”

They both sat in uncomfortable silence.

“When you said that my parents are not soulmates, you also said “either”. So..?”

“You heard right. You know that before Terumi-sama, Kirigakure was overflowing with nepotism and bribery? Well, people were willing to do anything to move up the career ladder. My mother really wanted a higher position in ANBU, so she made my father fall in love with her and convinced him that she was his soulmate. As you understand, it was also important for my father to find ‘the true one’ but when he realized that he was fooled it was already too late. He comforted himself with the fact that he seemed to love my mother even without that spiritual bond, plus he loved me with all his heart and soul. But in fact, the love between my parents was one-sided… and because of the special treatment to the Yuki clan, my father was never at home. So… when you start looking for your destined one, please be careful, okay? I do not want the same fate for you or for anyone else.”

Okay, let’s change the topic” - he waved his hands in a playful defensive gesture “You mentioned that you have a dream. So, what kind of dream?”

“Well, you chose a bad one to distract me, because my dream is deeply connected with my family. You know about the genocide of the Yuki clan?”

“Mmm, sorry, to be honest, not really. Only that when the Uchiha clan was massacred, the elders whispered with each other that it could be the same case as it was with your clan, where it was the Kage’s order or some sort.”

“The Yuki clan was once considered to be one of the most powerful clans in the village of the Hidden Mist. And of course, quite dangerous, especially for the past Mizukage, or rather, for the one who controlled him. So, one night, the entire main branch was killed and the clan’s library burned down. The Yuki clan was officially made part of a lower caste. Some clan members managed to escape, while others were often sent on dangerous and suicidal missions. Now from the once large clan, only 30-40 people remain in Kiri, and most of them are elders and children. For comparison, grandfather Naoki had four children, the same age as my father, and only one daughter remained alive. As you know, my frightened and repressed clan avoided communicating with each other. In fact, in my childhood, it was as if the clan did not exist at all. Childhood in Kiri was not easy, but the other children at least had a clan, a large family that stood up for them. I wanted it too. I wanted to be a part of a clan and before my illness I dreamed of reviving the Yuki clan, regaining lost knowledge and finding all the relatives lost around the world, whom, as far as I heard, were not liked by both ninjas and civilians. But now after that illness… I must find every single Yuki alive to make sure that no one will be alone while fighting the family curse and that no one will go through the same pain as me, giving them a chance to be cured. And I will do it, no matter what… If I survive, of course…”

“It’s … A great dream to achieve-,” he scratched his head not knowing what to say- “And I am sure you will! Just don’t be so pessimistic! “

”I am realistic.”

“Pessimistic.”

“Realistic!”

“OK, OK!” he chuckled.“Looks like only realists like you, who talk about how bad and terrible everything will be, turn out to be chuunins.”

“What? Kiba, I don’t… urgh forget it! Arguing with you on any topic is simply useless when you are stubborn as a mule.”

“Said another mule!”

She laughed. Warmly and sincerely, for the first time this evening, and perhaps since they returned from that ill-fated mission.

”By the way, if your life in the hidden mist was so bad why do you hate the idea of moving to another place? Like here, to Konoha?”

“First of all, my life in Kiri is perfect now. Secondly, when people will learn that I am from the hidden mist they will hate me. The only thing that saves me now is that commoners think I am a distant relative of Ino.”

“Why do you think that?”

“You never heard why Kiri women are hated so much?”

“No.”

“Well let me tell you,” she grinned sinisterly. “One year, in our village, due to hunger, disease and war, there were practically no men left. Then the women decided to fill this gap by stealing men from other villages. But then they questioned themselves, how to transport healthy and adult shinobi without harming them? This is how the world-famous art of Kirigakure ANBU was born, thanks to which we can immobilize even the most powerful warrior,” she chuckled as a senbon she used in some missions appeared from nowhere, - “With the combination of many factors, but still. Well, those poor souls who ended up in Kiri … they essentially had no choice, but to marry ladies there if they wanted to live.”

“Are you joking?!”

“I’m not! In fact, my great-grandfather was kidnapped from the village hidden in the Stone. So, be careful Inuzuka Kiba! Who knows, maybe my illness is just a part of a secret mission and I’m actually here to pick up suitable candidates… And you might end up being one of them! You may turn out to be a good third husband for me, you know?”

He laughed.

“Oh really? Well, I would die to see how you would try to steal me with such an amazing guard as Akamaru!”

“Oh darling,” she grinned and hugged the huge white dog,” I would find a way to make that adorable boy my partner in crime! “

Akamaru happily barked in agreement and both teenagers burst into laughter, almost falling off the swing.

“By the way,” she said after a small pause, “I have to admit that fireflies are much more beautiful in Konoha. Thank you for letting me enjoy such beauty…”

He bit his lip and took her hand in his. The Ice crystals were still showing from her bandage returned them both to the dreadful reality.

“You will survive Tsu, I promise you, and you will see many more fireflies. Not only these.”

She looked at him with a faded, crooked smile. A smile that only gravely ill and very tired people have. Kiba returned her a look and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest, skipping a beat.

“Don’t make a promise that you can’t keep.”

”I’ll keep it! You will see. We are close to finding the ancient temple of the Yuki clan, and there definitely should be information on how to cure you. And after the next mission is completed, we will go to a grill bar! In the land of water there are only sea creatures and practically no normal beef. I cannot let you go back to Kiri without letting you know all the delights of good meat.”

She chuckled.

“If you say so.”

But there would be no grill bar or any next time. They found information about the temple location, but at the cost of everything else. The disease turned out to be unstoppable at this point. Luckily, they managed to reach it in time and save Tsubasa’s life.

Three months had passed since her miraculous recovery. Representatives of the Mist village appeared in Konoha the next day and took the girl with them, not allowing her even to say goodbye to her new friends. Still, their paths will cross in the future.

Upon returning to Kiri, Tsubasa began to communicate a lot with Ino through letters, which made the Mizukage almost ecstatic. She hoped that friendship with the clan princess would turn into a possible strong political tie in the future. One way or another, Mei was going to make her children, if not a future Mizukage, then those on whom the village could rely. Sometimes Mei was so happy about the benefits that Tsubasa had a feeling that her illness and departure to Konoha were part of Sensei’s plan to improve relationships with the village from the very beginning. However, she thought it was too weird and silly to be true.

She also sent letters to Kiba. Feelings for him that suddenly flared up in her heart were not planning to disappear, but she still had no intention of getting into his personal life. He wanted to find his soulmate, and she respected that wish. This was the least she could do for him. “Besides,” she thought while drinking peach tea in the evenings and remembering how he was trying to warm her drastically freezing body on their trip to the temple, “it is unlikely that we would have succeeded even if there would be no soulmate. We are too loyal and attached to our villages and clans. None of us would move to another village for the sake of other. Only a soulmate had such privilege.“

Therefore, she was happy to be his friend at least, send the boxes of tangerines and dried seafood snacks on special occasions, help with advice on everyday problems that all teenagers went through, regardless of which shinobi village they were born in, and just talk about all sorts of nonsense.

At six am, there was a loud knock on the door. Tsubasa was just getting ready for the training and she had no idea who would need to see her at such an early hour (her teammates were waiting for her at the training field, so it could not be them).

A familiar figure was standing outside of the door. Tired from the road, a little nervous, but smiling. Holding a medium-sized flat box under his arm.

“Kiba? What are you doing here, especially this early?!”

“There were reasons,” he said giving her a box, “may i come in?”

“Of course, you can, I’ll make you some tea and something to eat for you two.”

The girl moved away to the side, letting the boy and his dog into the apartment. Akamaru immediately stretched and laid himself on the carpet of the living room, while Kiba took a seat in the kitchen.

“So, what’s the reason you came here?”

“Open the box,” he said with a smile.

Tsubasa raised her eyebrows skeptically. She put the box on the table, thin fingers gripping the blue lid and pulling it up. Her father’s mask with its cold material was staring right into the girl from the inside. Frozen in complete shock, looking at the once-lost thing dear to her heart, she did not notice how Kiba approached her from behind.

“I just felt lost,” he said in a soft voice, while tucking a loose strand behind her ear. Their faces were only a few inches apart, “And desperately wanted to be found.”

[henryobsessed]

I Took You Home - The Morning After

Summary: Henry Wakes up in what he thinks is Lucy’s apartment

Word Count: 1633

Warning: Bare Chest, Fluff.

Previous Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Henry groaned his head was pounding, wondering how much he drank last night he gingerly opened his eyelids just a little. Dread hit his gut as he realised this was not his house or his bed. The duvet that was currently hugging his body was colourful and bright, definitely not his bed. Shifting a bit to look around the room he noticed his clothes hanging on the wardrobe door, whoever it was that had taken him home was at least kind enough to look after his clothes.

"Oww......." he groaned as the sun from a window caught his eyes, and he shut them tight against the brightness. Wondering where and with whom he was Henry tried to remember the night before. It had been a hard day. Nothing had gone right on the set of his latest project, and at the end of the day they had sent everyone home telling them to "Take a break over the weekend, and come back fresh for Monday" Frustrated and not wanting to spend the weekend alone again he had talked his friends into going out. But that was short-lived as they had ditched him, the vague memory of them all finding perspective girls to go home with and leaving his sorry ass to look after himself. That's why he had been so happy to see Lucy.

Eyes wide now he sat up remembering that Lucy had taken him home, but this was not her apartment, Had she moved?. Remembering somewhat now, he had not been sure how to get home, consuming more than he knew he should out of self-pity he had then seen Lucy. The rest of the night was blurring into a blackhole as the alcohol in his blood had concentrated. He heard the sounds of humming coming from the other room, this was going to be awkward he had not seen Lucy since they had broken up many months ago and he was sure she would not have been happy to see him in the state he was last night. So why had she taken him home? Shifting his legs out of the covers he felt, then saw the mess in his boxers. Still not sure what had happened and wondering if he had experienced a wet dream or if Lucy had given him a hand job decided he better clean up and have a shower before facing the music.

The hot water felt good as it cascaded over his sore head, the longer he stood there the more he started to feel human again. Stepping out of the shower he towel-dried his hair and then wrapped the grey fluffy towel that he had found hanging over the towel rack low around his hips. Grabbing up his boxers he walked to the door to the living room, looking at his boxers he asked, "Lucy, can I put these in the wash?" standing in the doorway separating the bedroom from the living room Henry looked up expecting an answer but was shocked into silence as a young woman stood staring at him, eyes wide a blush creeping up her face. Where was Lucy?

The woman seemed to shake out of her silence, placing a plate of Bacon, Eggs, and toast with Roasted tomato's on the counter her, a nervous voice broke the silence "I..I'll fix that for you, come, sit and have some breakfast. I hope you like black coffee cause I'm out of milk" She motioned for Henry to sit at the breakfast bar. Still not sure what was happening Henry followed his stomach. The food really did smell good and his stomach felt empty like he had not eaten in days. Sitting down the woman took his boxers from him and walked down the hall to a cupboard where it seemed she had a washer and dryer hidden away.

Henry started to eat not wanting to waste the hot food but with each mouthful he watched her. Her hair looked like Lucy's, but she was shorter and curvier. He watched as she finished setting the washing machine on and walked back down to the kitchen. Anxiety starting to sour his meal but deciding not to let it take control he chose to make the most of his awkward situation. Speaking between mouthfuls his deep voice rumbled " Mmmmm this is good, by the way, my names Henry, I'm sorry but I don't remember your name" He watched as her cheeks reddened but surprisingly she also looked like she was fighting back laughter. Tucking a strand of her reddish-brown hair behind her ear she said: "My names Reba" then turned around to pour the coffee into a mug. She looked so embarrassed at the moment that Henry felt sorry for her.

Wanting to rescue her, but still curious about what had happened, he smiled his best smile, the one that put his fans at ease when they were nervously taking photos with him. "Reba, that's an unusual name are your parents Reba McIntyre fans?" Reba turned back to him placing the hot coffee by his plate and smiled "Yes they were, Country music was played a lot in our house as I was growing up I would often walk out into the living room and find mum and dad dancing or rocking out to Reba" Chuckling at the picture she was painting he was thankful this question had seemed to relax her a bit, but now he needed to ask a more important question the one itching to be asked. "My heads a little unclear on what happened last night." Reba smiled a soft warm smile as if trying to ease his worries, the feeling startled him causing warmth to wrap around his middle.

He watched her take a deep breath and sitting down with her own breakfast she filled him in on the blanks. "I think you must have mistaken me for an ex-Girlfriend, you were really drunk but you have nothing to worry about you were still a gentleman, at least if I was your girlfriend. To a stranger, it was a little disconcerting. You are very strong and not easily dissuaded. Bob the bartender said you had been coming to the pub for a few years, and that you had always been good-natured even when drunk. So, I offered to drive you home seeing as your friends had nicked off on you. Once we got you in the car though it was obvious you couldn't tell me where to go so, I bought you here."

Everything Reba was saying held a sound of truth to Henry and he was embarrassed that he had imposed himself on this stranger. Rubbing his hand on the back of his neck he smiled a sheepish smile "I'm sorry to have imposed myself like that." she once again smiled that small smile at him again "It's ok, chalk it up to a new experience." He chuckled at her answer liking her light-hearted response.  Finishing his plate and wanting to not be an imposition he got up and bent down to put it into the dishwasher turning to ask another question he was interrupted "so Henry what do you do?"

Shocked and slightly offended that she didn't recognize him He crossed his arms across his bare chest and flexed his biceps a bit, noticing her blush he chuckled thinking this could be a very fun morning. Keeping his stance, he answered "I'm an Actor" not ready to give more info than that Henry smiled his famous smile thinking this could be fun hanging around someone who did know him.

Seeing that she was finished with her food Henry took her plate and placing it also in the dishwasher. Hoping his action of bending over would also make her blush he turned back around to catch it, only to be disappointed as she had moved to the couch looking the other way. She didn't look his way again but asked him whilst gazing out the window "So what kind of acting do you do?" Henry walked over to the couch sitting at the far end to Reba however the couch was so small that there was not much room between them. It was too small for his big frame and he had to arrange himself in a way that the towel would not open revealing all.  Stretching his arms along the back of the couch he looked at her to answer chuckling as he noticed the rosier hue still staining her cheeks. She seemed unable to look at him as he asked. "Have you heard of Man of Steel?" starting with his most famous film.

He watched as Reba scrunched up her nose in an adorable manner, then looked at him scrutinizing his face "I have heard of Man of steel but haven't had time to watch it yet any other films I might have seen?" Henry mentally noted her reactions as he spoke: "Mission Impossible – Fall out, Night Hunter, Justice League, Batman v Superman, The Man from Uncle, The cold light of day." Her face continued to look blank the blush almost completely gone replaced with her normal hue, slight frustration tickled his gut, as he thought, really? Maybe her job doesn't allow for much movie watching. "I've also done some Tv series – The Tudors and The Witcher" at the mention of this her face took on a shocked look. She seemed to be scrutinizing him even more, moving to put her legs under her she turned fully to face him. Her face then lit up and blushed with an all too familiar look he was used to seeing on his fans' faces. Her soft voice whispering in awe "You were Charles Brandon?"

Next Chapter 4

I have Tagged people who follow me and who I follow if you want to be removed or added please let me know :)

@keanureevesisbae @darkverrmin @viking-raider @littlefreya@madbaddic7ed @the-soot-sprite @thelastsock @lovetusilver20@crimsonrae @demivampirew @ladyreapermc@henrycavillobsessed @nitannichionne @runawayolives @heartfelt-pen @omgkatinka @star017 @llly113 @sad-ghost-of-garbage @ayamenimthiriel @starstruckkittyangel @lebguardians @summersong69 @notyouraveragemochii @imneonpanda @carriebee1 @ivyfatale @thereisa8ella @lucy930 @sarahmichelle5 @stuckupstucky @cleodoramer @kmuir1 @elliepower @xobriellaxo24 @xxxkatxo @supernovacocorocha @hennerslionhat @xo-mery-ox @waitedforlove743 @ladamari68 @coksy @wickedrum @harleyfranquinn @mysticalstrangerearthquake @justrae9903 @willkatfanfromasia @daddys-littlewhitegirl @cavilladdict @lebguardians @theblondetumbleweed @snowbellexx​ @radaofrivia @geralttheewitcher @acdd22 @thullyana​ @fanfictionaddiction99​ @beckythfc1882 @heyheyharry​ @sauve-et-libre @shy-violet-soul  @elliepower @msamericanrebel​ @minion-of-the-lord @xxxkatxo​ @oh-for-fic-sake​ @omgkatinka​ @pterodactylterrace​ @ruthoakenshield​ @inanna999​ @libbymouse​ @witcherfan​ @enchantedbyhiddles 

[twistedapple]

Happy Birthday - Bianca

[HI I HAD FORGOTTEN IT WAS ALSO BIANCA AND NEVE’S BDAY ON NOV. 1ST RKJEGBRKEJ So many things to do, so little time - anyway, interview under the cut! There’s a reference to the Halloween post tho so you may check that one first to fully be in the know.]

Part 1

Pomefiore Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

NRC School Newspaper - Feature Interview with the Birthday Student - Bianca

Yuu: Happy Birthday!

Bianca: Ah yes, it doesn’t really look like a birthday party though, does it? Since it happens at the same time as the Halloween festival... Yet it seems I’m not escaping the Birthday Outfit!

You don’t really seem disturbed by the general bustle, though.

Bianca: Well yes, it usually happens during Autumn celebrations at the Valley of Thorns, so I’m quite used to have my birthday in the background. Not that I really mind, I’ve already celebrated a lot of them compared to you humans.

Oh, the mysterious Valley of Thorns! What sort of Autumn celebrations do you follow?

Bianca: It may sounds weird because it’s usually a time associated with death, but among fairies - especially my kind, related to Nature - the first of November is perceived similarly to a New Year event, with the start of a new cycle of Death and Rebirth. It’s an important day in our calendar. 

Part 2

Pomefiore Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

How does it feel to live surrounded by humans and beastmen?

Bianca: Hm? Well not much different than usual, to be honest. My family works as diplomats and entrepreneurs, so aside from small differences that are harder to handle for us, it doesn’t feel different from when my sister and I would follow our mother to learn from her. 

Can you tell us more about these difficulties?

Bianca: Well... Perception of time, for a start. Because we have a much longer life span, adapting to a human perception of it isn’t exactly easy, we have to learn a new rhythm - and you lot live much faster than you think. Then there’s also hm... Less pleasant topics, such as certains tendencies of ours that can be quite troublesome - we tend to be more whimsical, for example... 

You also mentioned a sister... Despite being already familiar with the School Newspaper, as you often collaborate with us with your short stories, it’s the first time we get to hear about that in three years! 

Bianca: Ah yes, I’d rather give only what I deem necessary informations to people, don’t take it personally. I do have a twin sister, but she goes to RSA... Wait, let me find a recent picture on my phone... Here! 

Oh, that’s a chance you two have different hair styles and eye colours, because even the mole under your right eye is at the exact same place!

Bianca: Haha yes, but even our personalities are quite different so even if we looked alike, we’d still be dissimilar in essence. 

Part 3

Pomefiore Dorm - Birthday Party Venue

Speaking of hair... Well it may seem weird, but your hairstyle is fairly peculiar and distinctive... There’s been bets about the length among some students.

Bianca: ... Pardon? Why?

Well, you always have your hair in a fancy updo, but then during PE class you seem to have a rather long braid, so people are wondering about it...

Bianca: Ah well, let me show you then... 

Wah, almost at hip length! Caring for it must be quite the task! How do you manage to have it look so nice?

Bianca: It’s not that difficult, in fact. I am, however, very specific about the products and tools I use - gentle ones only, so a wooden comb with large teeth, a gentle bristle brush, and a shampoo/conditioner/mask set that’s water-based and plant-based to cleanse gently. I also use a custom blend of oils to protect the hair and give it some grip and weight so I can achieve my hairdos. I prefer protective hairstyles, which is why I use braids so often - they’re also really good to easily give a more elaborate impression. 

Oh, is that decorative comb new? The way the blue gems contrast with the gold is really nice!

Bianca: Ah yes, it’s a birthday present, in fact! I decided to put it to good use immediately, it matches with both my hair and my uniforms, and I like the vegetal patterns. 

A birthday present? Can you tell us from whom?

Bianca: Do I want to?

Aaah you got us there! Well, thank you for your time, we’ll let you deal with the on-going events for now! Again, happy birthday!

[lucas-koh]

Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC IV

As always please go and read parts 1-3 if you haven’t yet, the link is in my bio to the tumblr masterlist as well as Ao3.

Doesn’t exactly follow canon, but elements of canon. FWB.

Song: Late Night Feelings - Mark Ronson, Lykke Li

Rating: M; implied sex, swearing, sexual language

Word Count: 3457

Taglist: @lahellacute @lahamseiroshoe @anotherbeingsworld @fuseboxmusebox @choicesficwriterscreations @bubblelaureno @bratzlahela

Chapter Four: Late Night Feelings

Grappling with the doorknob, she realised that it wasn’t going to open. Suki cursed herself for having locked the door earlier. So much for trying to keep partygoers out of there. Reluctantly removing her lips from Bryce’s, she turned around so she could see the lock, even if it was spinning a little.

Bryce took this opportunity to pull her backside tight to his body, swiping hair from her neck so he could kiss down it. They were soft kisses but left tingles in each spot he sucked on, warm and gently bruising. At each spot Suki could still feel his lips there, even though he’d moved to another location on her neck. She wanted to reach a hand back to tangle through those sun-streaked, soft, strands of hair. To encourage him to keep going. But if she wanted this to continue she would have to get the door unlocked.

“Bryce…” she whispered a laugh, grappling her hand towards her back pocket, “my key’s in here.” She slid her hand between their bodies to slip out the key, grazing Bryce’s thigh on the way.

He let out a quiet moan of complaint, but kept slowly sucking at the underside of her jaw. His soft kisses and tight hold were leaving her absolutely breathless. After struggling with the lock for longer than either of them wanted to wait, and a few cuss words, Suki was able to push open the door to her bedroom. Almost as soon as the door creaked open Suki turned back around to lock her lips with his again, pushing her hands flat against his pecs. The door closed automatically behind them, causing a louder slam than expected and a little jump from the two interns. Nevertheless, they continued to kiss their way back towards the bed.

Suki broke apart just before they reached the mattress, slipping off her shoes ever so slowly. Bryce followed, but watched hungrily, desperate for contact once more.

She pushed him back on the bed with one hand, following to climb on top and straddle him. He instinctively brought his hands up to dig into the sides of her thighs. Far too many clothes right now.

“Nice,” he grinned.

“No more talking, Lahela,” she breathed. She placed a finger to rest it on his mouth in a ‘shushing’ motion, where he gave it a cheeky lick. She laughed at the action but didn’t move.

“Not a peep,” he winked, pulling her finger from his face and using his grip on her hand and thigh to flip her over so he was on top. Entwining their lips again, Bryce teased his fingers up the hem of her top, feeling the warm contractions of her stomach as they kissed. Suki’s hands lightly grazed Bryce’s neck, keeping him where she wanted him.

Suki spun them around again so she was once again straddling Bryce. His hands found their space on the outsides of her thighs once more. She pulled her top over her head, earning a low whistle and chuckle from him. Then she started to pull Bryce’s top over his head, each tug revealing a new ab muscle. Bryce moved his arms above him to let her undress him, all the while regarding her with the smuggest grin ever.

“I can see why that patient called you Ken Doll…” Suki breathed out as she traced her fingers over the contours of his chest. He really looked like he’d been taken straight out of a Calvin Klein advert.

“I thought we weren’t talking?”

“Shut up,” she laughed, forcing him to be quiet by attacking his lips with hers again. They scrambled around with their trousers as they kissed, clumsy and desperate.

Soon enough they were in their underwear and touching all over each other’s bodies. At feeling her lacy underwear, Bryce wondered if maybe she’d known something would happen. He pulled her off him momentarily.

“Hey, you okay with this?”

“Yeah. You?”

He grinned wolfishly like the fact she’d even asked was ridiculous. Then they rejoined and continued on into the night, mulling in their pleasures and ecstasies.

—-

The next morning Suki’s eyes creaked open with difficulty as though she was peeling back a sticky label. She’d slept through the night fully with no interruptions. There was a heavy weight over her waist, and something pressing into her back. Light breaths tickled and warmed her neck.

Ah. Suki remembered the nights events, and sure enough, as she looked down ever so slightly, she saw the large rough hand draped over her body was a deep honey-coloured, highlighted by the sunlight streaming through the gap in the curtains. She could see in her head the way it held her last night, gripping at her waist, digging into her thighs, and running itself through its owner’s soft gold-streaked hair. Nice. She echoed his own words from before.

Suki had done many one-night-stands before, so she wasn’t bothered with the fact they’d slept together. And after all, she had bagged the most attractive man she’d ever laid eyes on, and she hadn’t been drunk enough that she couldn’t remember everything they’d done in the dim witching hours. She could definitely recall the way he’d held her, his hot kisses, the stars he’d made her see. Only, he’d stayed the night. They worked together. They had weird history. What if he expected more? More than Suki could give him. She didn’t have time for feelings or dating, her job was her life now. She wasn’t even sure she was capable of feelings these days, it had been years since she’d been in a relationship.

But maybe she needn’t worry; Bryce was a perpetual flirt after all. In fact, of course she was being silly, of course he wouldn’t expect more. She’d known the guy, like, a month. Well, unless you counted their singular meeting at college. This was just what it said on the tin: a no-feelings, fucking amazing one-night-stand. She sighed in relief, slowly attempting to edge her body away from Bryce’s.

Suki felt Bryce stir behind her, grunting quietly. The bed creaked slightly as he moved. Her stomach contracted with nerves at the thought of him waking up. Okay, so they’d done some things last night – there was a LOT of looking and touching - but that didn’t stop the fact that Suki was cringing at the thought of Bryce seeing her naked that morning. That was just who she was. It didn’t matter that she saw other naked people at work all the time, but the fact that it was her own body in the sober light of day was different. Intimate. She cradled her comforter over her chest the best she could, trying to dispel the nerves from her head. It doesn’t matter. He saw it all last night, anyway. He more than saw it…

Another grunt from Bryce caused Suki to jump; she’d definitely woken him now. She tensed as though she could see his eyes blinking open behind her.

“Good morning,” Bryce said, his voice gruff and scratchy, his first words of the day settling on Suki’s ears. Well, unless they were working on technicalities, of course. She could practically see the smirk on his face, despite facing away from him.

Composing herself, Suki turned to lie on her back so that she could see his face, all the while clutching the sheets around her body. Bryce’s hand had remained loosely around her waist, but as she’d turned he’d brought it back into himself. There he drew shapes on the mattress, controlled yet elegant. Suki thought once again how Bryce would use that hand in surgery, steady and artful.

“Hi.”

The streak of light from the curtain was now drawing a line across Bryce’s right eye, down his straight nose, and over the undulations of his plump peach lips. His hair was scruffy, truly sex hair. The smirk which she was now convinced was a natural expression washed over his face, white teeth baring lightly at the movement. If there was ever a man fit to play an ancient God, it was Bryce Lahela. But, like, the rugged, bad boy God. And if Suki was honest with herself, he looked absolutely delectable, and she wanted to take another bite.

“Hi? Have I left you speechless?”

“No, Bryce. That’s how people greet each other.”

He snorted, but didn’t retaliate. They laid for a minute, Bryce drawing circles on the mattress in front of him and looking directly at Suki, and Suki staring at the ceiling above her, trying not to stare at sexy Hades.

“Well, it might be Sunday but I should still probably get up and ready in case I get a page,” he stretched, pulling his bicep upward with a hand on his head.

“Yeah, of course.”

There was a slightly awkward silence as Suki tried to not watch Bryce pull his black jeans over his gorgeous ass. As he was turned back she pulled on her underwear and a pyjama top which had been ejected from her bed the night before. Suki stepped closer to the door over her bedroom where Bryce was just finishing rolling up the sleeves of his Henley. The Henley she’d peeled off him ab by ab. She raked a hand through her hair, and cleared her throat.

“So, I have four roommates. You’ll have to be really quiet.”

He chuckled. “We weren’t very quiet last night.”

He’d done it again. Suki felt the familiar fire in her cheeks.

“Yes. Well.” She motioned to the door, unsure of what to say. Bryce simply laughed again and put a hand on the doorknob.

He looked back at her bemusedly for a pause before turning the knob and stepping out into the corridor.

Suki caught the door and shut it behind them quietly so as not to wake her roommates. The apartment was eerily quiet, but clean – it was undetectable that they’d had a party the night before. That was, aside from Bryce’s abandoned bin-bag by the sofa.

They got about halfway across the living room when they started to hear a key in the lock.

“Uh…” Suki froze. She couldn’t exactly run back to her bedroom, whoever it was would hear the two sets of footsteps anyway. Bryce shrugged nonchalantly - this didn’t put Suki’s nerves at ease in the slightest.

And then before she’d had time to make a decision, the door swung open. Aurora stood at the threshold, eyes flitting blankly between Suki and Bryce.

“I- uh- had to go and see my aunt at the hospital…help her with a case…” she trailed off, keys loose in her hand as she took in both of their messy hairs and the awkward gap between their bodies. Aurora also noted that Bryce was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing last night before she’d had to run off. She knew exactly what was going on here.

Suki’s eyes darted between Bryce and Aurora, wanting the ground to swallow her whole.

Bryce just watched Suki squirm with a shit-eating grin, arms crossed in a relaxed way across his broad chest.

It felt like the silence went on for hours.

“Shame you missed the party,” Bryce eventually broke the silence, winking at Aurora. She smiled sadly, and finally stepped into the apartment, leaving the door open for Bryce.

“Well, I’m glad you had fun.”

Bryce snorted, once again staring at Suki who was very pointedly avoiding his gaze. He walked over towards the door to begin to leave. He stopped for a minute, looking at the two girls again.

“Thanks for the sex,” he grinned with a wink, starting to saunter away from the doorway. “Let’s do it again sometime.”

Christ. That was the third time now she’d felt inconsolably embarrassed because of Bryce Lahela. Not counting the many small spells. The door banged shut and Suki wished it would shut out the awkward encounter, too.

Suki turned slowly to Aurora, whose face was even more shocked than it had been before. She gave an embarrassed little smile, and what was meant to be a nonchalant shoulder shrug. Instead she ended up looking like an un-oiled robot.

Would she ever catch a break? Her little moments of fun with Bryce all seemed to have ended in someone else walking in and embarrassing her. She wasn’t even sure what she could say to Aurora. She didn’t really want to talk about it, but she didn’t want Aurora telling the others either.

As if she was reading her mind, Aurora said: “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

Suki smiled gratefully at her friend, who looked tired from her night. So her worries now were not only on the accidental fact that she and Bryce were apparently not sly at all, but also at her friend for missing their awaited party and having to work all evening. And then coming home to find a semi-strange man in the apartment.

But even more so than her worries, Suki’s thoughts turned to Bryce’s departing words. Had he meant that? He wanted to do it again?

Yes. Yes he had.

—-

The next week Suki was caught first and foremost by Bryce after a night at Donohue’s. Their electricity whirred back up again like a generator coming to life as soon as they’d interacted again. And then they had a few drinks, inhibitions were lowered, and once again sexual desire took over. The roommates left early that night, but Suki and Bryce had stayed. They had stumbled into Bryce’s apartment attached and stayed that way for the rest of the night. Suki left before sunrise, she didn’t want to risk a repeat of their first time, her body couldn’t take getting so embarrassed again.

Over the next few weeks, Bryce and Suki thrice stole moments here and there, and as the moments grew more frequent, they became less careful. The thing was, that was the only time they’d see each-other. Small-talking in the halls or joining the other for lunch or coffee wasn’t something either of them were interested in.

“Just sex, right?” She’d asked him sheepishly as she pulled her scrub trousers back up the first time in the on-call room.

“Just sex. I’m sure neither of us have time to deal with any more than that. Just a reliable relaxation method.”

The third time, Bryce ambushed Suki in the corridor and pulled her into an empty room. It was getting frantic as the work and pressure piled up on them both, and they were hooking up at least once a week. Third work-hookup, third week. Bryce had started to kiss down her neck and tug at the hem of her trousers before she could wrap her head around it. She’d told herself she wouldn’t do this so quasi-publically again to avoid combusting if anyone found out; but he was there, and she wanted him more than anything. Jesus Suki, sort yourself out.

She had to admit to herself that this would be their fifth time, and thoughts about a one night stand were long dissipated.

Just as their makeout was getting heated and Suki’s hands were grabbing at the bottom of Bryce’s top for him to remove it, there was a knock at the door. A knock.

“Shit…” Suki mumbled, breaking away from Bryce. She pointed to the cupboard on the corner of the room, “get in.”

“In there??”

“Yes!” She whisper-shouted, shoving him towards the cupboard. He climbed in, eyeing her with disdain, and Suki smoothed herself down before going to answer the door.

“Oh!” He was surprised. It was the same nurse Suki recognised had been talking to Sienna at the housewarming party, holding a chart. He craned his neck around the room, seeing it was empty. “Oh, sorry. I thought my patient was in here. I must’ve read it wrong.”

“No problem,” Suki smiled, “I was just taking a breather.”

The nurse nodded kindly and left back out of the door.

Bryce burst out of the cupboard, looking a little put-out, but humour still painted over his face.

“Really?” He asked.

“Well, did you want another situation?”

He laughed and it echoed off the walls of the hospital room.

“I think I need to change my scrub top,” he smiled, lifting it up on one side where there was a large rip through it.

“How did that happen?”

“Coat hanger. Kind of backed into it.”

“Okay.” She said.

—-

Suki wasn’t sure why she was following Bryce to the changing rooms, but she was. He kept looking back, amused, as she moseyed behind him down the corridors.

When they finally reached the staff changing rooms, Suki looked round to check they were free, and began to speak behind him.

“Um… I think maybe we should work out some rules. Draw up a kind of list.”

“Seems a little much, don’t you think? For two people who just sleep together sometimes?”

“Nuh-uh, that’s three times now this has been a problem, that we’ve been caught in some kind of compromising position. We need to make rules so that we don’t break them. To keep this as straight and simple as it can be. If we’re going to do this, that is. You can back out any time.”

“You think I’m going to turn down free no-strings-attached sex with an incredibly attractive doctor? You’re insane,” he chuckled, “Okay, so I’m guessing number one is be a little more discriminating with our when’s and where’s?”

“Number one should be no work-place hook ups period.”

He blew air from his mouth like a fish. “Damn, Santa Fe. I suppose I’ll have to agree. We need to focus here, no distractions. I can’t be sneaking off with you if I want to stay the best surgeon at Edenbrook.”

Suki rolled her eyes playfully at his cockiness. Him agreeing to make this little arrangement official was a relief to Suki, though. Now she could concentrate on work and had an itch-scratcher on call. One who knew what he was doing.

“Okay. Number two – we don’t stay the night. It gets messy, I don’t need Aurora to catch you again.”

“There’s no one to catch you sneaking out at my place,” he grinned smugly.

“Bryce.”

“You’re right, it’s probably not a good idea.”

“Hold on,” Suki pulled her phone out of her locker, fiddling about on it for a moment. “I need this written down for posterity.”

He laughed at her thoroughness, but didn’t protest.

“We should have a signal, too. If we’re with other people or over text,” he suggested.

“That works. What sort of signal?”

“An ‘I want to have sex’ signal.”

“Yeah, I got that much. But what should it be?”

Bryce tapped his chin in thought. “What about touching your nose with your middle finger.”

“…what?”

“You know,” he demonstrated for her, “like that.”

She shook her head at him disdainfully, restraining herself from mimicking his actions.

“Fine, if that’s all you can think of. I suppose it’s both random and believable enough as a normal sort of movement. For texting we could use the nose emoji.”

Bryce threw his head back in a laugh. “Sexy.”

“Hey, it was your idea! Anyway, it kind of looks… phallic. In ways.”

Bryce pressed his hands together like he was praying and placed them on his mouth, thumbs supporting his chin, and shook his head slowly. He could not believe she’d just said that. After regaining composure, he added:

“Alright, how about: no drunk texting for a hook-up unless we know the other is also drunk, because it’s not gonna happen.”

“Of course, goes without saying.”

“Always gotta check.”

“No hickeys. No visible marking of any kind.”

Bryce chuckled under his breath as he remembered the opportunities he’d had to mark her, her neck muscles bobbing up and down.

“Agreed.”

“So this isn’t an exclusive thing, of course – you can sleep with whoever you want – but I’m going to need proof you’re clean if you have been going around,” she crossed her arms over her chest, all business.

“I’m a Doctor, what do you think of me?”

“Yeah, and all those douchebags at med school are probably doctors too, now.”

“Point taken. You can trust me, I’ll provide proof if necessary.”

“Likewise.” Suki knew she wouldn’t very likely be sleeping with anyone else, she wouldn’t actually have a chance to meet anyone really. But she didn’t want to rule out the possibility.

“Anything else?”

“Nothing I can think of, but we should be willing to add stuff on.”

He nodded. Suki tapped away at her phone for a few minutes, sorting out the list.

“I’m gonna need your number, scalpel boy.”

He winked exaggeratedly at this. “Oh?”

“To send you the list, obviously.”