#it’s easier to just write meth

[ao3screenshotss]

just heard someone outside sing “oh oh, i got methamphetamine”

[crimeronan]

one of my fave phenomenons that i see semi-frequently in people newly diagnosed with ADHD is worries about Faking It, which happens with basically every physical and mental disorder, except with ADHD i'll see people specifically be like. "i took my first dose of adderall eight hours ago and i didn't really feel anything and i didn't do much at all and i'm not sure it works, maybe i actually DON'T have ADHD or executive dysfunction and made it all up to excuse my laziness??"

and i'm like. babe. dude. my guy babygirl broski pal please . please listen to me. if you did take adderall while not having ADHD. You Would Know About It Very Very Very Quickly .

[chewing-drywall]

SKIWSGAAR HEADCANNONS

-secretly prefers they them pronouns, very occasionally she her but otherwise he's just disconnected from what even gender is outside of what he's being told he is (thinks *they* is cool in like a God way, it's sort of an ego thing)

-autistic, music and guitar being his special interest, I could go ON AND ON about this but I won't for this post

-at this point he just has as much sex as he does to keep up his image, he's pretty bored of it honestly, you do even the best things enough times and it becomes mundane

-nipple piercings, dry heaved and almost passed out from the pain cause his dumbass forgot to eat beforehand

-wants a dick piercing for the aesthetic but he pussys out every time there's an opportunity for him to get a piercing

-he canonically fucked 400 chicks in the course two weeks, that's about 28 people a DAY, give or take, and he said he wasn't even trying so god bless if he DID try

-more tattoos than canon

-mostly hairless, gets it lasered and NO chest hair, arm Nad leg hair super fine and pale

- so used to every person expecting the best experience of their life he actually isn't usually on the receiving end for stuff, it's pretty shitty honestly

-he honestly is so disconnected from actual, real intimacy that things like hugs and cuddling without sexual/flirting intent is foreign

-mommy kink, doesn't know WHAT it is but having some hot curvy women act all dominant makes him fold like paper

-sort of plays into his gilf thing, having some hot older women calling him sweetie while ordering him to do something gets him hot under the collar

-vaugly addicted to stimulants, he likes the productivity it brings but not the paranoia (not including the meth bender)

-has A LOT of stds, like he actually has a really restrictive medical schedule for everything he needs to take and what he has to do to keep everything in check. Who knew having casual sex with an incredible amount of strangers over the course of your life would cause this. Shocker.

-cannot parallel park. I mean he never drives himself anyways but still it's so embarrassing, 20 minutes in he's sweaty and flushed, people are side eyeing him and is STILL crooked holding up traffic

-he's like. Beautiful. Sort classically handsome but very pretty features thrown onto a more masculine frame, think grave yard angel

-as he ages he's noticing how his face is getting more gaunt and sunken in, not quite in a unsettling way yet but it really sharpens his features to an extreme extent

-it's because he's so fucking iron deficient his skin would be totally fine if he took a few supplements and STOPPED IT with the fear of sun, getting a little tan never hurt nobody dude GOD. Your not gonna get skin cancer from 20 minutes in the sun girly your so pale your REFLECTIVE

-related topic; at the beach he wears the HUGEST most RIDICULOUSLY large floppy sunhat, the borders of it goes past his shoulders and he always gets roasted for wears it by the band

-has the best skincare and haircare routine out of the band, used to get bullied for it by the guys but he usually just ruthlessly points out every dermal flaw he can find on them BOOM problem fixed

-INSANE calluses, he just doesn't have sensation in his fingertips anymore from the amount of blisters and split fingertips over the years, otherwise very soft hands

-perfect punctuation and spelling over text, no idea why in some fics his accent carrys over into his writing?? Types very deliberately to make sure what he's trying to communicate makes grammatical sense, actually prefers having emotional conversations over text because he can get what he's trying to say across easier sometimes

-doesn't actually let a lot of people touch his hair, and it's uncomfortable when people try and play with his hair without asking

-SKIWSGAAR IN THOSE 80s MOM HAIRCURLERS

[gingerylangylang1979]

Will Carmy become an addict?... Also, exactly what are his mental health (or other) issues?

This conversation is an offshoot of thoughts expressed here in conversation with @november-rising.

I'll start by saying I do not think Carmy is currently an addict or in recovery from an addiction. But, could Carmy become an addict like his dad (was he an addict or just a heavy abuser, we don't know) Mikey, and Donna? Maybe. Also, I hope nothing I write is offensive to anyone. If anyone thinks there is something I'm missing or misrepresenting please share and we can talk about it. I'm open to learning.

The statistic rates for people impacted by another person's addiction becoming an addict themselves is high. I myself had a drug addict mom and an alcoholic ex. I dabbled in drugs but never became an addict unless you count cigarettes and weed (no longer do either). How me and my brother didn't end up addicts despite our experimentation with hard substances is beyond me. All of the prerequisites were in place and I feel like we almost were tempting it like, come on, I know you want to take me, yet, neither of us ended up addicts.

Sometimes I felt it would make things easier. I think it was Lou Reed, maybe, who said something like addiction made life simple because then you only have one problem to deal with. I wish I only had one problem. I tried stuff as hard as coke, meth, and opium. I was a bartender and partied but never became an alcoholic. My brother went as far as trying heroin a few times. But neither of us became addicts. It's insane if you think about it.

Does that mean we didn't/do participate in fucked up self-destructive behavior? Hell no. Most of my life I have battled with trying to "be normal" all the while self sabotaging all along the way. But I never became an addict.

This is why it's so easy for me to see Carmy in all of his darkness and still see how he isn't necessarily someone doomed to become an addict. Nat didn't become one, me and my brother didn't become ones. I see a lot of us in Nat and Carmy. Carmy is way worse off than Nat, for sure. How, I dunno. And I would say I'm closer to Carmy in the melancholic creative way than my brother. So it's kind of a weird blessing that traumatized people who you would think would become addicts, don't, but it happens.

Could Carmy become one? I think if he continues to not address his issues with individual therapy, continues to blame himself, and just continues the same grind he wanted to escape, possibly. But I'm looking more to how Storer and Co. are telling the story as my signs more than Carmy's actual history. I guess I just don't see what the show would have to gain from Carmy becoming an addict. It would be a tragic ending. I'm not beyond them doing some tragic ending but I think it would just be kind of lame and what was the point if it ends with Carmy continuing the cycle and becoming an addict.

I see him and Nat as the second chance for the Berzattos. She is about to be a mom and hopefully will raise a child that doesn't have to witness any of the trauma she did. Carmy is trying to start over and I think as much as he is struggling now and it may get worse before better, I just see too many points of lightness for him to crawl towards/through. And I think this being so inspired by Storer's lived experience, I can't see him wanting it to end in doom and gloom. Chris and Coco are Carmy and Nat to me. They broke the curse. I think because of that he would want the show to reflect that.

Now, what the fuck is wrong with Carmy, in detail. I will start by saying we don't really know a diagnosis. I think common/possibly correct assumptions are a mix of anxiety, depression, and CPTSD. But I've also seen other ideas like maybe he is on the spectrum among other things. I'm not quick to say anything outside of the first three. He could be neurodivergent, but I guess what makes me not want to say that is because when people bring it up there is often this sentiment that it explains everything about him or that is takes precedent over his behavior being a reaction to his trauma. Two things can be true at the same time but I sometimes feel people apply neurodivergence in a way that dismisses how the average person would deal with a series of overlapping traumas.

The same way I see people assign Sydney as being neurodivergent and I'm like, or she could just be dealing with a lot of bullshit and trauma as a black woman? Because shit, I'm similar, does that mean I'm neurodivergent, too? Not to take away anyone who is neurodivergent and they relate to things they see in the characters. I'm just saying be careful to not dismiss common reactions to lived experience as such without more insight. Or sometimes people can be awkward or quirky without it being neurodivergence. Like sometimes it comes across as what we do know the characters have gone through isn't enough to justify what we see.

I will say I could see a case for Carmy having a learning disability. The evidence being his dislike for reading extensively and his very poor math skills. I think it was @eatandsleepwell who pointed out he only likes books with pictures. It's true. Most of his books are image heavy. And a lot of people are bad at math but he can't keep up with basic addition and subtraction (aka dyscalculia). But again, I think we are seeing evidence of this specific condition, not vague symptoms that could occur due to a number of things.

None of this is to say speculation or headcanons are not welcome. But to hard assign diagnosis is another thing.

[taralaurel]

🧡 Thank you for the tags @bonheur-cafe, @chaotictarlos, & @carlos-in-glasses 🧡

New York is currently suffering a serious opioid epidemic - when is it not - and sometimes it is easier for TK to count the shifts when his crew doesn't end up on a call for an overdose or some exploded meth lab. And those moments, those days, are more difficult. But he is still at work. He has a whole crew, and Captain, that would never let him slip. That would excuse him from a scene, or kick him from one, without question or judgment or hesitation. And even without them there, TK can separate himself. The addict from the firefighter. The person inside him that destroys, and the person inside him that helps, heals.

Here, on the streets that bare the shadows and scars of his all too recent past, there is no disconnect. No compartmentalizing.

Just him, and his demons, and enough extra cash in his pocket that he could buy back that trip to hell.

TK had gone down there gradually, so gradually that he hardly even noticed that it was happening.

What was that weird myth about frogs not being able to sense a slow change in the temperature of the water around them? How if you throw them into boiling water, they'll hop out right away. But if you put them in room temperature water and slowly heat it to boiling, the frog won't notice and just cook to death.

Yeah.

It was kind of like that.

[excerpt from future chapter of Lost (And Found)]

No pressure tags: @detective-giggles, @lightningboltreader, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @rmd-writes, @sanjuwrites, @noxsoulmate, @largepeachicedtea

[ottiliere]

by: lindsay dane davestriderdeathcult4568 and lucy ottiliere

prefacing this by stating the obvious but i know this guy. like this archetype of individual is just so absolutely a guy that exists in droves this guy crawls out of spawnpoints in dirty smokey rooms in literally probably the same apartment complex i live in i think its hilarious and basically am fully qualified to be writing about him. he hasnt known anything better than any of this, probably doesnt think it exists, and more than likely doesnt deserve to experience any of it.

like a solid 30% of this guys conversations with any underage person he's around in public are trying to get them to dip. everyone says he smokes and hey you know what they're probably right but he absolutely dips more than he smokes and he absolutely does classique peer pressure on high schoolers to take some if hes ever in a situation where one is stuck with him. as previously addressed he likes skoal. because the packaging looks like shit. if he does smoke he rolls his own.

terrible skin has not used sunscreen a day in his life spends a lot of time outside in the open sun and totally looks like it you know what this looks like if you know what this looks like. once he thought he had skin cancer and he cut it out himself. it was probably just a mole or something. part of the reason his hair is so stringy and thin is because he doesn't take care of himself, part is because his scalp has been sunburned to shit. the hat isn't an ego thing he isn't insecure about this he just likes it. important to note seriously this guy is basically psychologically incapable of being embarrassed self conscious or ashamed of anything.

absolutely does speed absolutely does speed i no longer have the image of the fucking milk gallon jug of whatever psycho shit that was being advertised at truckers but i think this guy puts it in his cereal for breakfast. does not sleep longer than 20 mins or so at a time, he gets true rem sleep once a week or something maybe. like the idea of having worked as a trucker in the past, that line of work would suit him.

ketamine………like sure coke absolutely coke, but ketamine…….could see it in him to do ketamine. more importantly meth. absolutely meth. maybe not super often when he's younger, but that's where he's headed. i imagine in his early 30'sish is when he gets really bad about this specifically. this is the time shit stops being fun for him fullstop and all of the shit hes been gnawing on psychologically speaking to keep himself from going apeshit gets boring. parallel to canon he was just not supposed to live this long. so he implodes. and does a lot of meth. becomes completely incapable of caring for himself and spirals. you've seen that.

thinks conspiracy theories are funny, so he pretends to believe them. when he's younger this is kind of interesting in a way, because it's easier to tell sometimes that it's a joke of a kind to him. as he gets older it's less easy to tell, and more concerning. i'm not talking about cute conspiracy theories btwlike im thinking like 4chan coffee enema jewish tummy worm removal shit like this guy is unwell.

probably indifferent to weed. its whatever. smokes absolute mid dogshit ass weed from a ass trashcan. says it has no effect on him. it mostly doesnt but thats probably because its dogshit weed.

have a very specific vision of his body type i think it was REREREDACTED who drew the like closest possible but still significantly less repulsive vision of him. he's not filled out buff he's stringy and kindof shredded which is entirely a different thing and altogether much more diseased looking. even resting you can see the outline of muscle under skin NOT because his muscles are oversized just because there's so little between it and the skin. his eyes are sunken in. i imagine that hes one of those dudes whos absolutely partially deaf but somehow hears fucking everything. average height.

[CSA cw] hasnt done anything ever at all for a bit. it's all 100% genuine. that said i feel like a lot of the sexual abuse he does is so outright and casual that it's almost comical like if your older brother gropes you walking down the hall what do you even do about that. it was only a second so OBVIOUSLY for the lulz right.

[CSA cw] this is also obviously a conditioning thing but first and foremost it is miserable. also important to note i dont think it is INTENTIONALLY a conditioning thing. i dont think he is a groomer in the manipulative or the "aware of what's going on" sense. i think the most manipulative things he would do would function similarly to all the little inside jokes of his existence; they're not manipulations, they're not jokes, they're pure expressions of himself. i think his self awareness is inverted; instead of covering him like a blanket, it acts as a foundation for a more direct understanding of self. and the foundation is cracked why did anyone stop saying biatch that shit is so funny sorry im listening to a song the way mac miller says biatch is so funny and awesome. bringing this back.

i don't think he talks really at all. i think he avoids talking at all hes really into pointing and grunting in various tones but hes the type who would feel it in his throat the day after if he held a proper conversation with someone. theres just a lot about social interaction he thinks he isnt a part of. it isnt that he doesnt observe it or isnt aware of it but similar to his counterpart he just cant bring himself to think of any "rules" as applying to him. on a level that is pure subconscious he cant fathom that he is a human at all, so any self interpretation or self expression of course will be influenced by this.

doesn't sit still ever, even when he does. twitchy fidgety and easy to frustrate. i envision him as being violently ocd basically, to an extent that makes him kind of cartoonish. like he doesn't have severe ocd so much as he exemplifies the effects of long term severe ocd when it's left untreated; he's like this with all the symptoms he manifests because when i write him and think about him im working mostly conceptually. hes a good representative character and i think hes at his best when this is the role hes filling.

like to think that his indifference and lack of connection to anything of any meaning in the world has been almost lifelong. the result of neglect and abuse itself, sure, but more importantly i think he is like this because he is drastically understimulated. there's nothing to do that interests him, no one worth talking to, nothing. not just a sadist but a compulsive one. i imagine that at some point he has seen someone OD. was not his fault but he was just not all that affected by it; thick skinned to the point that it's concerning. avoiding saying things like psychopath here because i feel like that doesn't quite suit what i'm getting at. he is, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, extremely unselfaware. so much of what he does is route action, muscle memory with no conscious process to it. even the performance of self awareness is nothing.

this is a big part of how i see him as a sexual predator specifically. it is just something he does compulsively, a repeated whim he follows. there's not a lot else to it. at least not in his mind

should go without saying but any "irony" playing he does is basically bullshit nothing to mess with people. like of course it is. there is virtually nothing genuine to be found 300% of his goals are to fuck with people; likes feeling smart and one upping others, likes feeling socially dominant, isn't smart or in possession of enough capital to ACTUALLY engender these feelings so he makes do with bad stupid elaborate jokes. its a craft

i kind of enjoy him as this backgroundless enigma i will be honest. like he turned out so revolting and who knows why. that's not my business. he functions better as a concept made manifest. it mirrors canon ofc but it also makes him horrifying by way of how can this happen. the same way people wonder about this shit in real life and it can simply never be answered no one will ever know.

although… the most important part of bros history to me is, specifically, the decline of his mental state due to cal. overarching view of his upbringing is that it would've been dismal and cal the telepathic puppet who spews garbage into his brain 24/7 does not a good man make. i base this off a very specific character study by the meat machine on ao3 that goes into this very concept. mind-blowing for both of us. the magic of cal on his brain… kind of can't resist thinking about it. like HOW did the decline happen. literally brain poison i imagine it functions similarly to how people fall into holes of like. suddenly doing a ton of hard shit and the next thing you hear theyre believing birds are spies and shit. schizophenic in nature. hes so misdiagnosable but the truth is there's just something wrong with him and there's nothing even to do about it. he's doomed to be this way forever. COSMIC ALIGNMENT. the burnout from this if he doesnt die super young would be insane like just horrifying absolutely miserable. thinking about the state hed be in at the point dave makes his very smart adult man exodus back home that he handles so well. like. nightmare.

[theharrowing]

would you rather do.. meth or math? debate.

ps: i cannot sleep so i'm sending you all the extra energy, patience and will to study. you goooot this! think of hot professor namjoon. ♡

LMAOOOOOOOOO.

i would absolutely rather do math, which..........is saying a lot. while i do dabble in some drugs, meth is one i am trying to steer clear of hehehehehe. what about you??? math or meth??? lolol.

THANK YOU FOR THE GOOD ENERGY AND PATIENCE. although i am just now seeing this, i was definitely imbibed with the power that you sent me, because i FINISHED IT YAAAYYYY!!! also my partner helped me on some things i was STRUGGLING to understand, and even taught me an easier way to solve the problem than the original way, which was cooooool because people are always like MaTh iS LiKe A gAmE and i always roll my eyes bc ugh, sounds like a terrible game. but sometimes -- SOMETIMES -- i figure a thing out and i'm like by golly, i think i get it. i think it is like a game.

now i just have to do political science. 🤪🤪🤪 i'm taking two generals that i must take, and two lit/writing classes for funsies.

I HOPE YOU ARE ABLE TO SLEEP!!!! 😍🥰🥰

OMG ALSO!!!! the answer to one of my problems was r over m and i wrote rm with a line under it, and nothing under the line. and then double checked my work and could not stop laughing. so the power of hot professor Namjoon was also definitely felt. and he distracted meeeee. 😩😩😩 if you squint you might be able to see the remnants of my underlined rm. 💀

i just love him okay lolololol.

[onecornerface]

why I compare illegal drugs to alcohol in particular

In my writing about drugs, I often compare currently-illegal drugs to currently-legal drugs, to argue that there ought to be more parity between the two-- e.g. parity regarding (1) the moral status of recreational use, and (2) the appropriate legal policies toward the use and sale of the drug. For these argument, I mainly focus on *alcohol*-- rather than other legal drugs, such as tobacco, coffee, or prescription drugs. I will try to explain why in this post. (By "illegal drugs" here, I'm mainly referring to "hard" illegal drugs, such as meth, heroin, and cocaine-- rather than "soft" illegal drugs, such as weed or psychedelics. I have arguments defending weed and psychedelics too. But a lot of people by now agree in defending weed and psychedelics, which is part of why I'm currently focusing on the more controversial case of "hard" drugs. Crucially for my post here, alcohol is a good analogy to "hard" drugs, and plausibly just *is* a "hard" drug. Of course, there's also dispute over whether the "hard vs. soft" distinction is legitimate. But *if* it's legitimate, then alcohol seems to fall squarely into the "hard" category.) Many people think it's morally permissible to use alcohol recreationally, and that the use and sale of alcohol should be legal (at least within regulated limits)-- but *also* think it's morally wrong to use illegal drugs, and that the use and sale of illegal drugs should remain illegal. Let's call this the Asymmetry view, which can be seen as (approximately) a defense of the status quo. (There are of course many variations of this view, some more plausible than others.) In response, I claim there is a burden of proof-- there is a need to provide an adequate rationale for Asymmetry between alcohol and illegal drugs, i.e. to justify the lack of moral and legal parity between alcohol and illegal drugs. Roughly, the defender of Asymmetry has two tasks: 1. Normative: Identify what relevant differences in features between alcohol and illegal drugs are necessary and/or sufficient to justify Asymmetry. 2. Empirical: Show that alcohol and illegal drugs are indeed different in regard to these features. (The relevant features could be intrinsic e.g. pharmacological. And/or they could be extrinsic, e.g. path-dependent cultural differences in how the drugs are treated already. Some features may be "mixed" or otherwise hard to classify, e.g. how alcohol is perhaps easier to home-brew, and thus harder to ban, in at least some environments or contexts. I'll leave this aside here.) In theory, I could discuss *any* legal drug for this argument. But, at least in our society, the argument works best in regard to alcohol. There are many ways to respond to my claim that the burden of proof is on Asymmetry defenders, including various meta-level responses and object-level responses. One meta-level option is to claim that the burden of proof is never on the status quo and/or popularly held views, but rather only on proposed changes and/or controversial views. Another meta-level option is to reject talk of "burden of proof" for some reason or another. More on the object level, one could argue that [A] alcohol should be condemned akin to illegal drugs (rejecting Asymmetry), or [B] illegal drugs should be accepted, perhaps cautiously, akin to alcohol (close to my view, also rejecting Asymmetry), or [C] embrace Asymmetry by explaining why alcohol should be treated differently than illegal drugs. (I'll here set aside further options, such as condemning alcohol while defending illegal drugs.) There are a variety of ways to defend Asymmetry, which I find unconvincing. That will be the topic of some post(s) in the future. But here I'll discuss why I design my Asymmetry discussion around alcohol in particular, rather than other legal drugs such as tobacco. First, cause of death. Tobacco may seem to be a good comparison, since it famously kills many thousands of people-- indeed more people than illegal drugs, by many metrics. However, compared to illegal drugs (again, the relevant subset of illegal "hard" drugs), tobacco kills people in a very different *way*, whereas alcohol kills many people in a *similar* way. (I'm mainly talking about regularly smoking tobacco here, not smokeless methods of using tobacco, and not nicotine in other forms.) Alcohol is similar to many illegal drugs in its broadly-defined manner of cause of death. That is, alcohol kills many people via fairly *sudden* and at least *random-ish* events: (1) overdose (too much of the drug, causing organ failure/etc.) and/or (2) hazardous drug-mixture (e.g. alcohol + opioids)-- much like many illegal drugs do. By contrast, nearly all tobacco deaths are the result of many years of chronic smoking and accumulating health risks, rather than sudden overdose or drug-mixture. So, in the cause of death, tobacco is very different from many illegal drugs. This makes a moral comparison between the two rather difficult. How do you compare sudden deaths to gradual deaths? It's been suggested that maybe we could compare QALYs lost or something. Or, if some or all forms of quality-adjustment are problematic (as some disability advocates argue), then maybe just compare life-years lost. But the *suddenness* of the death, or its partially *random* aspect, may also make a difference. My understanding is that, usually, people who’ve smoked heavily but then *quit* smoking after several years can undo most of the medical damage and mostly eliminate their risks, if they stay abstinent or sufficiently moderate for a long enough time from then onward. So this again seems to change the moral calculus in some ways, which do not have a clear parallel to the sudden deaths resulting from overdose and drug-mixture. (I don't know how to phrase all this in properly medical terms, but hopefully my informal description is adequate enough for now. If I were to make this argument in print, I'd consult medical sources to make it more rigorous.) In some ways, many illegal drug deaths are like a roll of the dice. This isn't totally random, since harm reduction methods can vastly reduce the risk of death (even for people who use "hard" drugs a lot). And getting (say) lung cancer from smoking also has an element of randomness. But still, broadly, there seems to be morally significant differences in the relationship between the drug use and the death, regarding tobacco vs. illegal "hard" drugs-- making direct comparisons difficult, at least for now. As far as I know, nobody has done an in-depth moral analysis of the similarities and differences between tobacco deaths vs. other drug deaths. This seems interesting and worth exploring further. But it means that, in arguing for or against Asymmetry in moral or legal policy between currently-legal drugs and currently-illegal drugs, alcohol is a better point of comparison. Of course, alcohol *also* kills many people via long accumulation of health risks, like tobacco does (and some illegal drugs). But the key point here is that alcohol kills many people via sudden overdose or drug-mixture-- much like many illegal drugs, and unlike tobacco. Second, there is intoxication and relation to (non-drug) crime. A major argument against using or legalizing "hard" drugs is that people get high on them, damaging their judgment and/or motivational dispositions-- and (most concerningly) sometimes making them more likely to commit various sorts of crimes against nonconsenting third parties, including intoxicated driving, and even violent crime. In this regard, alcohol is more similar to illegal drugs than tobacco is. (Some illegal drugs don't make people more likely to commit violence, and some might not hinder judgment, even when people get high on them. I'll leave those aside here and focus on whatever subset of illegal drugs is most relevant in its contribution to violent crime via intoxication. My impression is also that there is contention over whether we should say people get "high" on tobacco, but importantly here, it doesn't seem to induce a relevant type of intoxication that hinders judgment or contributes to violent crime.) (Notably, on most analyses, the large majority of drug-related violence is due to drug prohibition, e.g. gangs fighting each other over drug turf. This dwarfs the amount of *intoxication*-induced violence. I think this strengthens the case for legalization, but this is a complex and separate issue which is often treated too simplistically by both sides, so I'll set it aside.) Many people get very high on alcohol and sometimes commit violent crimes against nonconsenting third parties while high on alcohol—much like many illegal drugs—whereas this does not seem to be true of tobacco. So, *if* the intoxication and crime are a major point against currently-illegal drugs, then the Asymmetry defender needs to either concede that this also counts against alcohol, or else explain convincingly why alcohol is different. Third, there is the matter of public opinion that currently exists. This one isn't a similarity between alcohol and illegal drugs. Rather, it's a *difference* that is relevant to determining which drug to pick for an Asymmetry argument. Many people think alcohol use is permissible and should remain legal, whereas comparatively fewer people think that tobacco use is permissible and should remain legal. Some people would respond to the tobacco death numbers by saying this is why we should ban tobacco too, whereas fewer people would say this about alcohol. Or so it seems to me. I don't know the statistics on this, but I'm pretty sure there is a lot more public sympathy to criminalizing tobacco than to re-criminalizing alcohol. Moreover, I am sure that many people think it is always bad to smoke, whereas fewer people think it is always bad to drink. In other words, many people negatively evaluate tobacco somewhat similarly to how they negatively evaluate illegal "hard" drugs-- but fewer people negatively evaluate alcohol in this way. (Of course, *if* I were to make such a claim in print, I would fact-check this and get statistics and polls and suchlike, and possibly confer with some relevant social scientists. But, for purposes of this post, I'm reasonably sure something like this is true.) To motivate the discussion of Asymmetry, it makes most sense to focus on a drug that (1) people are already fairly accepting of, (2) despite its having hazardous features similar to, and at least as bad as, a relevant subset of currently-illegal drugs. Alcohol, not tobacco, best fits the bill. (This might not be true in some cultures --e.g. cultures where tobacco is less stigmatized or criminalized than alcohol is. But it is true enough in most of the Anglosphere in the contexts of people I'm likely to argue against in the foreseeable future. If I were arguing in a country where alcohol was condemned and tobacco was accepted, then maybe I'd structure the whole analysis differently, but it's moot here.) A brief note on caffeine. Some people also note that caffeine is a drug, and arguably addictive. I agree that caffeine is a drug, and it is addictive according to some plausible theories (although it might not be addictive on some more narrow theories). However, caffeine doesn’t kill more than a tiny number of people by either sudden overdose, nor drug-mixing, nor long accumulation of health risks (or at least not nearly as much)—unlike alcohol and many illegal drugs. Moreover, to my knowledge, people who get high on caffeine don't become more likely to commit crimes-- unlike people who get high on alcohol, and users of some illegal drugs. So, unlike alcohol, caffeine seems non-comparable to most illegal drugs in most of the interesting ways. It would not be hard to defend Asymmetry between caffeine and currently-illegal drugs, by saying that many illegal drugs kill people and cause non-drug crime, whereas caffeine doesn't. This claim is plausible enough, and plausibly relevant enough, that defending illegal drugs by analogy to caffeine may be very weak (at least for many argumentative purposes). What about prescription drugs? I think there are some viable ways to develop Asymmetry arguments in regard to prescription drugs vs. illegal drugs. However, this has a number of further complications. For example, many people claim that recreational drug use is wrong, whereas medical drug use is okay. On this assumption, it is perfectly coherent (at least, at first glance) to say "prescription drugs are okay and should stay legal, but currently-illegal drugs are bad should stay illegal." I think this notion is extremely flawed on many levels, but this is largely a whole other set of arguments, which merits a separate discussion. There are yet other complications, such as the fact that some people use prescription drugs recreationally, and some people use illegal drugs medically. Most "illegal" "hard" drugs (such as cocaine, meth, heroin, fentanyl, etc.) are at least sometimes prescribed for medical purposes. Also, there is contention over how to define "medical" and "recreational," and there is contention over whether these are even adequate categories or concepts in the first place. And there is contention over... well, you get the picture. Moreover, many people are skeptical or opposed to all or most prescription of psychoactive drugs. These people could consistently say "medical use of prescription drugs, and recreational use of currently-illegal drugs, are both bad" and thus need not defend Asymmetry between the two. I think such a view would be *doubly* wrong (wrong about both prescription drugs and recreational drugs), but it is consistent enough to avert the charge of double standards-- the charge that most clearly threatens Asymmetry between alcohol and many currently-illegal drugs. By contrast, most usage of alcohol is *recreational*, simplifying the analysis. Many people think recreational drug use is much more dubious than medical drug use. Regardless of whether this is true or not, many of these same people defend the moral and legal status of *recreational* alcohol use, which does not purport to be medical. So, if they defend Asymmetry, they need to explain why recreationally using alcohol is more defensible than recreationally using currently-illegal drugs. So, for some argumentative purposes, alcohol is a great analogy to currently-illegal "hard" drugs-- a better focus point for Asymmetry arguments than tobacco, coffee, or prescription drugs. Alcohol kills many people in both direct and indirect ways, and getting high on it sometimes contributes to crime against nonconsenting third parties. These are very bad features. Many people think currently-illegal "hard" drugs are wrong to use, and should stay illegal, on these same or similar grounds-- yet they think it's often okay to use alcohol, and that alcohol should stay legal. Moreover, the drug use we're talking about (in each case) is presumed mostly recreational, not medical. For these reasons, the challenge of justifying Asymmetry (between alcohol and illegal "hard" drugs) is interesting, creating a burden for anyone who wants to defend something akin to the status quo policies or moral judgments. For caffeine, Asymmetry is easy to defend outright, because caffeine causes so much less medical harm than many illegal drugs; thus, appeal to caffeine isn't helpful for most anti-prohibitionist argumentative purposes. For tobacco, Asymmetry appears hard to examine one way or the other, since tobacco causes mass death but in a manner that is relevantly quite different; and perhaps fewer people would defend Asymmetry for tobacco anyway (since many people are anti-smoking), so there is less of an audience for the anti-Asymmetry argument. For prescription drugs, Asymmetry is also a largely different line of inquiry, due to complexities raised by the "medical vs. recreational" distinctions and suchlike. So, in conclusion, this post is my attempted summary explanation of why I think alcohol is broadly the best point of comparison, at least in many contexts. In future posts, I plan to discuss more on various ways to critique or defend Asymmetry between alcohol and currently-illegal drugs. I want to discuss more on (1) what (intrinsic or extrinsic, or mixed) empirical features may be different between alcohol and illegal "hard" drugs, and (2) what kinds of differences in moral norms and/or laws may be justified, or fail to be justified, by appeal to such differences in these empirical features. I've said little so far in response to the position that rejects Asymmetry by *opposing* both alcohol and other drugs. For now, I'll just note that this is a rarely held position, but it is a position that averts the most obvious double standards, so it has more integrity than the beliefs of most people.

[thekimspoblog]

My WIPs (or at least the ones I can remember)

Portal:

"Opera Beneath Aperture": Where the Geekenders version is vaudeville, mine is more pop-opera in the style of "Phantom" or "Wicked". Basically just remixing the soundtrack and adding lyrics. There will be comedy, but at the end of the day, playing the melodrama of "Portal 2" straight is just easier. (Progress 30%)

"Rat Race": An homage to the US "The Office", but one by one the characters are axed off as Aperture becomes a more and more dystopian place to work. (Progress 10%)

"Portrait of a Lady: A Romanticized Horror": Prequel character-study on Caroline, obviously. She's preppy like Kim, but being born in the 1930's she's more sexually repressed, and therefore even more of a manic-pixie-nightmare-girl. She blacks out and murders her gynecologist for malpractice in Chapter 3; yeah it's that kind of a story. Also she's pretty racist? To the extent that any person from that era running a dystopian secessionist megacorporation would have to be. (Progress 50%)

Better Call Saul:

"Sheepdog": A traumatic event causes Kim to question the nature of her own reality. We the fans love Kim... but we do not respect her. (Progress 50%)

"Slippin Kimmy": This is my SERIOUS entry for what I think should happen next in the story. Basically a lot of white-hat Heisenberging around. She stops a shooting at a Planned Parenthood in episode 2; yeah it's that kind of a story. If that's what "WYCARO" ends up being, I'll be happy. If not? Hey it's free money, Vince. I'll just leave it on the table 'til you're done being done again. (Progress 5%)

"Last Clear Chance Doctrine": In 6x05 Jimmy calls Kim to say he's going to be late; Howard wants to fight him in the ring. Kim says she'll be right over. (Progress 0%)

"Just Take the Money": Parallel "Breaking Bad" timeline, where Walt accepts Eliot's hand-out. It'll make you wish he had stuck to cooking meth. I'm probably going to include a subplot where Saul bangs Skyler cus it makes me smile. (Progress 0%)

Crossovers/Other:

Steven Universe: "Warp Congestion": Steven figures out how to remove his gem and live as a normal human for extended periods of time. And if you think this sounds like a contrivance to write Rose Quartz back into the story... it is! Pearl was supposed to hold onto the gem for the day, but as the administrative headaches of helping to keep Little Homeworld organized pile up, Rainbow Quartz starts to revert back to v 1.0. (Progress 5%)

Steven Universe: "Roughhousing": You ever have those moments with your spouse, where one minute you're joking around and everything seems fine, and then one little comment gets taken wrong and suddenly everything gets a bit ugly? Even Ruby and Sapphire have those moments. And it made for one hell of a night at Beach City Underground Wrestling. (Progress 100%... but it's in the format of a Torts practice exam. Yes really)

Barry: "A Plan for Sally": My OC, Rita, has been going around to various netflix shows and selling life-insurance and family planning policies to the love-interest characters in crime dramas. Well, Rita will call them "insurance policies"; what they really are are Faustian bargains. If you thought the ending to "Barry" was weird, rushed, or maybe even a little saccharine, Rita is why. (Progress 0%)

Midnight Mass: "The Girl Who Ate the World": Erin Greene wakes up lying in the grass to find herself - not just alive - but sparkling in the sun like a million little diamonds. It's a miracle! Second only to the bad-miracle of news that the Angel survived and is transforming people in the Portland subway system as we speak. Rita is in this one too. (Progress 50%)

"Crack Fic: Torts and Torts": Kim Wexler, Dolores Abernathy, and Love Quinn attend a mobwives convention in Napoli. After a few drinks, Kim and Love get into a tense conversation about dead brothers, and more specifically when/how a spouse is at-fault for the death of a brother-in-law. Kim forgets the argument after she sobers up, but Dolores warns her to watch her back. Sure enough, Love attacks Kim with a katana and they must battle it out as frenemies. (Progress 2%)

"300 Million Cowboys": I re-write Better Call Saul as a pulpy beach-read about vampires. With enough changes to the plot that it can be legally sold on Kindle. Kim is now named Jean Troy. Jimmy is now named Sammy McCormick. Mike and Chuck have been merged into one character. Kevin and Howard have been merged into one character. (Progress 2%)

[nekropsii]

Sov characters you wouldn't mind being your roommate vs sov characters you could not be paid to share a room with

Oh, this is a fun question!! I’ll divide these up by their respective casts, just to make things a little easier, both for me, and you, the reader! I’ll even include reasons why!

Content Warning: Long.

(NOTE: I’m not going to include everyone, because there’s some people I’m a little on the fence about, or have more neutral opinions on.)

PLAYERS

WOULDN’T MIND BEING MY ROOMMATE:

CYNTIN: He would make me gayer somehow.

TEJURI: Though she’d probably be expensive as hell to live with due to her Voidrot, and the menagerie of ways in which it manifests, she’s genuinely peak Nerdy Southern Best Friend. I can’t help but think I’d get along just so well with her. She’s not even Friend-Shaped. She’s Best Friend-Shaped.

RETRIS: Despite his everything, he’s pretty chill! We’d probably get along! Also he makes, like, so much fucking money, so it’d definitely be a comfortable arrangement. He’s a very, very good friend, too, and very caring.

AJAX: Cool dude, seems genuinely fun to be around. Movie nights will be a blast. I will have to force him to pay for the holes he punches in the walls at random, though.

PLEOME: He can be a little overbearing, even if he means well, but is otherwise just some regular guy. I’d go positively bonkers watching him do tech restoration.

COULDN’T PAY ME TO SHARE A SPACE WITH THEM:

DYNAMA: I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry. I love them so much, but… They’d proselytize at me and I’d just start swinging. They mean well, but they’re severely Christian, and very much so grew up in a tiny town. I could be friends with them, but I could never commit to living with them.

PRESAE: She would call my oven a “weird mechanical kangaroo” and then disassemble it for parts.

EMERIC: She has turned the kitchen into a meth lab. I’m becoming asthmatic from the fumes just thinking about it.

ANNOMI: I would not be able to stand a single iota of his personality. I love writing him, I personally find him fascinating because of the fucked up focus on the psychological, but I would not be able to deal with him in a physical space OR online. If he got some kind of obsession with me, I’d just kill him or something. I don’t know, dude.

PATRONS:

WOULDN’T MIND BEING MY ROOMMATE:

DAMARA: Surprised at this entry? Perhaps you’re forgetting Damara is actually very nice! The only reason she’s as mean and disconcerting as she is is because during most of what we see of her in canon, she’s talking to the Alpha Trolls, of whom most of which she has a massive grudge against. I’d be functionally immune to her penchant for Psychological Warfare. Also, she’s cool, and I’m supporting her journey into therapy.

RUFIOH: He would watch TikToks out loud and maybe have a few annoying opinions but otherwise would be a pretty ok roommate. Hard to keep settled down though, which isn’t an issue for me. He would barely ever be home.

PORRIM: Genuinely a very accepting person, but knows when and how to put her foot down, and get shit in order. Very good person. She’s incredibly offline to the point where it’s both hilarious and soul-healing. Ultimate grass-toucher. We love her. She knows Queer History + Theory that you couldn’t even imagine. She’d teach me Knitting. But most importantly, she’d have a Driver’s License.

ARANEA: We would be so fucking annoying if we shared a living space. We’d just fuel each other’s Stage 4 Autism. The essays would be severe in length, niche as hell, and possibly unhinged. She’s very well read, too, and knows what she’s talking about, so I trust her thoughts and opinions on things. It’d be exactly what she needs, and exactly what I need.

MEENAH: She is such a recluse that I would probably barely notice her being there. Pays her rent by leaving an envelope on the counter with a wine glass on top so I can’t miss it. It’s got “RENT, BITCH.” written on it in cursive with a hot pink glitter gel pen. Sometimes she barges into my room and starts bitching loudly about some random bullshit I’ve never heard of. She is so fun and charismatic that I would not mind. And also I love being nosy and hearing drama so I’m entertained regardless. 10/10.

COULDN’T PAY ME TO SHARE A SPACE WITH THEM:

KANKRI: No. (I love him, and he’s a very complex person who I’d love to discuss religion with, but I can’t tolerate his level and flavor of being terminally online. I’ve encountered people like him before. It is… Not pleasant. Granted, you can work him out of his behaviors, but it takes a very specific kind of person to have the patience and tolerance to do so, and I’m not one of them.)

CRONUS: Fuck no. (I would become even more mentally ill. His toxic behaviors are very much so fueled by specific things that are somewhat understandable and interesting, but that doesn’t mean anyone is obligated to tolerate him. I’m even more susceptible to his specific methods of abuse just because of things like Paranoia and Memory Loss, I don’t need to deal with that.)

KURLOZ:

KURLOZ: Kurloz.

NPCS:

WOULDN’T MIND BEING MY ROOMMATE:

OCHOSI: Very much so a case of an Extrovert adopting an Introvert. He might take me zip-lining or something like that, which isn’t at all my taste, but it’s fun and healthy to fill your life with new experiences, even if they’re not totally your thing. It’s enrichment. Also, I am a weak man sometimes, and Ochosi is kind of attractive. Sorry.

ATRISA: She is an extrovert and knows where all the gay bars are and this would make me normal.

COULDN’T PAY ME TO SHARE A SPACE WITH THEM:

MESERI: I would die.

KHANDA: I would die and he would think it’s funny that I died.

ARSINE: I would die.

DULVYX: He would die.

[puddinpurinscorner]

SeriRei fic

I'm pumping out mp100 content like a meth head giving out candy. Bad analogy, sorry.

Anyways, day 4 of making Mob Psycho content to cope with the series ending. Today I challenged myself with writing. It's a SeriRei fic. I suppose this would be pt. 1 if I want to continue it.

I tried making it romantic but it low-key reads like a comedy .-.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reigen came home from another day at the office. Opening the door to his small apartment, he slipped his shoes off, removed his jacket, and loosened his tie. He let himself fall on his bed and sighed, letting the weight of the world sink in. He stared at the ceiling with empty eyes, unreflective of all the thoughts racing through his head. Instead, channeling the feeling of dread that had overcome him. Things really wouldn’t get easier from here on for him. Not that things had ever been easy for Arataka Reigen. 

… 

For weeks now he had been experiencing strange events he didn’t quite understand. Which is not common for one whose livelihood is based on the occult. For one, of course, he was a sweaty man, but he’d been sweating more than usual.

"Is it just me, or is the temperature rising?" he'd ask out loud as he took a handkerchief to his neck.

"Shishou, it's the middle of fall" Mob would respond, looking up from his manga.

Serizawa would let out one of his token nervous laughs and try to say something accommodating like, "the temperature did rise one degree from yesterday". Not particularly helpful, but all in good nature. Serizawa never did anything that wasn't in good nature.

And, although he prides himself in his silver tongue, he’d find it turning to lead at times. Though he attributed his mouth going dry to the weather.

He seemed to unconsciously bite his pen or fidget with his fingers. He brushed it off as a tic that helped him think.

Even so, these things were so unlike him. He came to think that the years of smoking finally came back to bite him in the ass. Perhaps his body was giving its last hurrah before going out. At least, that’s what he initially thought.

Reigen was a master at noticing patterns. It’s just another one of the strengths he would talk to Mob about. Academic skills, strong body odor, psychic powers, or a great ability at recognizing patterns. It’s a driving factor behind his charm and people skills. Although a blessing, also a curse; when he came to understand that behind all these strange behaviors there was one common factor.

Him. 

The former-terrorist, previous shut-in that he decided to take in on impulse. He had offered him a job once upon a time. Hell, the man had saved his life, and he thought it was the least he could do, or well, the only thing he had to offer. He didn’t actually believe he’d take him up on the offer. Imagine his surprise when he showed up one fateful day.

Another of Reigens 'special abilities' was his ability to lie. To others and himself. At first, the excuse was that he was subconsciously wary of the dude because he was an ex-terrorist. Though realistically, the man’s about as threatening as a shiba puppy. His second excuse was that he hadn’t consistently talked with another adult on the daily in years, so of course he’d act a little off, which was more believable, but not it. Then he went on to believe that the man’s psychic power was messing with his psyche, but years of being around one of the most powerful espers on earth couldn't even do that.

Finally, he concluded the most obvious answer. Of course, how couldn't he have realized it sooner: he was possessed!

He was satisfied and left it at that. That is, until he actually became possessed and Mob had to rip that sucker out of him. And, to his dismay, the symptoms continued. That incident left him with a lack of creativity and motivation and no other option than to face the truth.

He left the office that afternoon and was on his walk home. He usually left before the sun set, but he had been particularly immersed in his work today. Being cooped up in the office with no out-of-office clients, he hadn’t realized how cool and calm the night air was. The sun was setting at this point and he had a moment to admire the beautiful blending of pinks, yellows, and purples. He stopped to admire the two birds framed by this background.

He wasn’t sure if it was the intensity of the imagery before him that triggered it. Or if the sashimi in his lunch had gone bad, but a thought hit him all at once. He didn’t react. He simply let the realization hit him as he continued to gaze at the sky.

See, there wasn’t a particular moment where he fell in love. Rather, there was a moment where he finally realized he had fallen in love.

… 

Lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he had his second major realization of the day:

He was fucked.

[toxiclxki]

An asking game ahhhh ☺️😁

My love ♥️

1,6 and 9 pleaseeee ♥️

Hello babe!!!💕

1. What's the fic you're most proud of?

- this one's hard, because I can find so much wrong with everything I've written. I'd probably say either Flight or Empty Heart though, because I feel like I almost captured something there, or Those Days are Gone Forever because it made me nostalgic for a time I've never experienced.

6. What's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

- it varies! Sometimes it's getting started, sometimes it's wrapping up, ending it where I want to and not where I think I should.

9. What's your writing process like?

- Again, it varies! Sometimes I have to force myself to just start and usually it'll get easier. Most of the time though, I get an idea and I literally cannot stop thinking about it and I just dive in. Sometimes, I get stuck in researching (Does anyone wanna talk about meth? I'm currently researching METH) and it takes me days to really start writing, but once I do it's usually pretty smooth sailing. I'm horrible at going back and editing though, so most of the time I read as I write and then I post it 😅

[coldsandles]

Hello everyone!

This is my first time posting, so I decided to very briefly introduce myself and list what I may possible write for!

I go by ComedicSackOfEggs on the internet, and I’m 18 years old. I enjoy reading fics, doodling my favorite characters, and writing short stories mainly for myself.

My main interests currently are My Hero Academia, One Piece, and Dragon Ball (very generic I know), so these are probably what I’ll be writing for.

Requests are: Open ✅

What I will write:

-Oneshots/Headcannons

-Imagines

-Sfw/Nsfw works

-Fluffs

-Smut

-Crossovers

-Action

-Minor drug use (basically just weed since it's the only thing I can write with experience lol)

What I won’t write:

-Angst

-Incest

-Noncon

-Extreme fetishes

-Racism/homophobia/transphobia/any form of bigotry

-Beastiality

-Shoutacon

-Extreme death

-Stories that involve Depression, Eating Disorders, Cheating, etc

-Works that include real life people/celebrities

-Hard Substance Abuse (Coke, Meth, Fent, etc etc)

Some important rules to lay out for requests:

1) Be polite! When you’re requesting and you’re friendly off the bat, I’ll be more likely to be inspired and motivated to finish your request!

2) When requesting, please use my Asks. This allows me to keep things organized, and keep track of what I have and haven’t done.

3) I will close my requests once I’ve reached my Limit of 10, and won’t reopen until the previous 10 have been completed.

4) If a request either doesn’t follow the guidelines that I stated or makes me uncomfortable, there’s a good chance that I won’t accept it and will simply delete it. Please keep the rules in mind when requesting.

5) I will write both Smut and Fluff. Because of this, any fics requested that have underage characters that are the focus will be AGED UP, meaning that the minimum age will be 18. Keeping this in mind, please don’t request any characters that are outright children (let’s say 14 and under) and ask for me to age them up, I will deny the request if so.

6) Please be clear about your request! Giving me guidelines makes the writing process much easier and will help quicken my pace! Not only that, but it allows me to be as close to what you want as possible.

7) While it is my goal to get to all requests in a timely manner, I won’t be doing the requests in any specific order. Instead, I will be writing whatever idea catches my interest and inspires me from the most to the least.

8) If a request is too similar to something I’ve already written, I’ll go ahead and redirect you to the previously existing page so I don’t have to rewrite anything.

9) Due to me being a college student, I won’t have too much free time on my hands. Because of this, please try to be patient with me when requesting and waiting for a request. It may take me a while to post, and I will occasionally take breaks that are indefinite just to get my work completed.

10) Feel free to reblog my stuff, but please DO NOT repost my works! This means no re-uploading my stuff to other platforms. If you think you see any of my stuff on a different website, please let me know!

One thing to note is that since my page will contain NSFW Works, please don’t interact with any nsfw posts as a minor! I don’t want to have to block anyone over it, so please just abide by this rule meant to keep both parties safe.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Not to share my drug experiences on main but I don't think I'm ever gonna get over the sheer difference that stimulants have on people with ADHD vs the non ADHD population. I saw a (clearly neurotypical) tweet today about how 41 million people must be casually tweaking just all the time because that's how many adderall perscriptions there are and how it's just a meth rebrand and I almost laughed because for years and years I(adhd) was on a stimulant that had meth in the name (methylphenidate for you psychiatrists reading) and I never once did anything that could be described as tweaking. An almost sure fire way to tell if you have ADHD or not is to pop an addy (you're grown use discretion don't do something just because of a tumblr post or whatever). If you get high congratulations you don't have it. ADHD stimulant resistance is literally so powerful that when I did actual Methamphetamine I didn't feel it. It kept me awake for 24 hours and it gave me a tummy ache but during those 24 hours I was so deeply normal that I swore off stimulants in general because I looked at my coworker in the eyes and smiled at her, which is not a normal thing that I(autistic) do. I didn't tweek, I didn't twitch once, I didn't feel like god, I felt like I could clean my room and get over my writers block but when I looked back at my writing after it wore off it wasn't crazy or anything it was just what I would normally write. I know that sounds great, and it probably is, but you understand how it could be disappointing if you're doing it to get high. A lot of people with undiagnosed ADHD turn to and get addicted to street stimulants not because it gets them high but because it makes it easier to function and then they go overboard because, well, street drugs are hard to dose.

Like the idea that those 41m addy prescrips or whatever are creating tweakers and addicts is so fucking funny to me because of what I know ADHD 18 year olds do the second they get to collage. They forget to take that shit over and over and over again because it's boring and you're supposed to take it. And then the prescripts just pile up and eventually it's easier to just sell your most recent bottle to the frat so they can have some fun at their next party and you can have a few extra dollars with which to order pizza or buy videogames or whatever. If these were addicts they wouldn't have had to put up the "don't be a drug dealer" posters at the collage because they wouldn't have extra drugs to sell. They would be doing them not forgetting about them.

It's funny to me because I remember being 14 and arguing with my parents that I shouldn't have to take these fucking drugs on the weekends because I don't have to go to school and be normal. If I was addicted or it made me high I would never have argued. I would have popped it no problem. And this was back during the phase of my life where if someone had offered me Heroin I would have tried it because I wanted to seem cool and like I had no limits.

It's funny to me because I still got half a bottle of methylphenidate somewhere in my room that I never intend on taking, not because I'm anti drugs or because i'm recovered and I don't want to go back to a dark place, but because stimulants are boring and lame and I hate them. I'm only interested in drugs that make me weirder.

[buildoblivionthenwewilltalk]

Yo but like.....what did Reggie even *do* to Klaus? The mausoleum flashback wasn't the first time he died bc Reggie was waiting for ressurection. But Klaus didn't remember any of it till he saw it in the void. So he'd repressed all of that and God knows what else seeing as he was so happy to let Reggie train him and spend time with him this time? What was the training he did remember?? he remembers enough to know Reggie was an asshole and be happy he died in S1. And like 1 day of admittedly fucked up training and nu-reggie has managed to instill some level of control over his power in him, wtf was OG Reggie doing for years???? Or Did Reggie just crack his head open like an egg and Klaus just scramble the rest himself by apparently doing meth at 12 years old??......the man thought he was a rascally loony toon for chrissakes ;_;

you’re so right I’ve been thinking about it and like … okay so in fics usually it’s klaus making the ghosts real or he hits his head or his heart just gives out from exhaustion but I couldn’t interpret anything specific (I’ve only watched the scene once so far) but I’m assuming it’s something like Reggie left him in there for a long time and poor lil klaus couldn’t handle it? You’re right it’s a bit vague 😅😅

The way I’ve rationalised it is like maybe he noticed klaus flatline in the mausoleum before (it could be why he was so insistent in leaving him there so long - even if klaus couldn’t control the ghosts he could get some data on his immortality powers) - like I said it could be from cold, exhaustion or whatever, one day he comes in to find klaus stone cold, starts to write him off as one more failure before he bursts back to life, Reggie manages to keep a poker face and make a note to experiment more in future

So yeah, Reggie finds out and THIS is what clues him in to klaus having a lot of potential powers wise, but he decides to keep it in his back pocket as an avenue for later as Klaus doesn’t seem to remember anything happening - when klaus continues to be resistant to basic exposure therapy (yikes 😅) Reggie casts it aside and klaus carries on his merry way never knowing that his father was always testing him for this - once his addiction issues get under way maybe he finds it easier to brush off anything he sees on the other side as drug fuelled hallucinations and he thinks he’s the willee kayote or whatever 😂😅

Idk tho this is sleep deprived rambling on my end - this is the problem with characters backstories being revealed in dream sequences - especially ones for characters that already have kinda janky rules and attention towards their powers anyway 😂😂😂😂

As an aside tho I love that conversation they have about Reggie leaving klaus so untrained because he was a bit of an untapped mine that he wasn’t sure how to handle - maybe he felt that if such a powerful dude was so resistant maybe it was better to leave him be if he wasn’t gonna be useful - a regret sure but not a threat to Reggie and his plans

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY 172

AI was asked to make different substances into villains. I included the results at the end of this blog. They inspired me to write.

I used to be an addict. I got clean in August of 2008. Unfortunately, I didn't go about it the right way.

Many people (understandably) assume that addiction is the problem, but it's not. It's the result of a problem, which is why recovery is so important. You have to face and take on what brought you to addiction in the first place. I didn't do that. My recovery wouldn't come until much later on.

So at that point in time, I never recovered, I just got clean. It made the entire process much harder on me than it needed to be. I was fighting cravings while not fighting the cause of the cravings.

Coke was my drug of choice. It seemed to fit well with my lifestyle at the time. We were a bunch of club kids that just wanted to avoid food to fit in tiny dresses and have the energy to dance and party all night. We didn't wanna slow down like the pillheads but we didn't wanna lose our looks or sanity like the methheads so coke was it. I had no idea I was becoming addicted and I had no idea how bad it was getting.

And yet, I don't have any crazy stories for you. I wasn't robbing people, or whatever else some addicts get into. I just wanted to socialize and dance. That was my excuse, that was the reasoning that blinded me from reality and justified what I was doing (equally neglecting both my physical health and any sort of future I wanted to have).

Once I finally reached my limit and decided to sober up, that's precisely when all the shit that had been swept under the rug started to make its way out from underneath and I was in a whirlwind of emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical turmoil.

It was then time to deal with the C-PTSD, ADHD, and the mild form of OCD that I had no idea I had throughout my life. This, on top of fighting addiction. It was a lot to handle, especially without support.

I hardly smoked cannabis at the time but I remembered the times I did, I felt relaxed and somewhat sleepy. I thought maybe if I just got high through the whole thing, it would help with the withdrawals. And it did.

I got high and it helped me to calm down. It helped me eat, it helped me sleep, it soothed a lot of the emotional and physical symptoms, and actually got me back in touch with enjoying life without drugs. This made therapy that much easier. Wasn't just getting high and going to therapy though. lol Eating healthy and exercising feels amazing.

Some people see cannabis as a drug but it's not. It's an superb herb with effects that are healing to the mind, heart, body, and soul. Coke is a drug. Meth is a drug. Prescription pills are drugs. Mary Jane? Nah. She's a healer!!! Well, in the pics I included Mary is depicted as male so yeah. lol But I think you get my point.

That being said, there is only one villain in these two pictures. More thoughts later.