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system-of-a-feather · 2 years

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Riku's clowning over the fact that despite me being the largest NPD/ASPD trait havers in the system, that I am also the most """charity""" motivated - and I put that in big """ """" cause I really hate calling it that and framing it as that - cause everyones like "People with NPD / ASPD are inherently EVIL and inherently abusers yee haw oui oui I'm so special I have empathy"

And I'm gonna try to exercise some cognitive empathy and assume the reason empathy-havers are like that is because (in my experience and opinion who has felt guilt and remorse like, once or twice and never want to again) empathy is a fucking curse and horrible thing to feel and experience. Its such a negative motivator to do things and its very good at making people feel so bad that they feel the need to "do something good" to relieve the tension and misery that having empathy is. So I don't think its to much of a stretch that people with empathy and "eMpAThS" are so used to having their empathy holding them at fucking gun point 24/7 that they don't understand that you don't NEED to feel like shit to see that shits flawed and stupidly broken for literally no reason.

Like I have very very very low empathy - may that be due to autism, trauma, or whatever, I literally could count the times Ive experienced what I think is empathy on one hand (albeit I do have memory issues so do with that what you will) and the reason I try to help people and donate shit is the same reason I literally do all my shit - positive or not - and its simply cause I don't see a good answer to "why not", "why shouldn't I"

Like back when I was younger and a lot more immature and in the depths of trauma, yeah I never would have because my question was "why SHOULD I do anything nice for anyone" and I'd look at people struggling and go "lol you just suck get good at life why are you struggling lol you and your stupid decisions and shut the fuck up your whining is annoying"

But like, you grow the fuck up and you actually see how shit in the world works and that question of "why are you struggling get good mate and shut the fuck up your whining is annoying" gets answered with a "yeah life sucks people are corrupt the system is broken and they've been trapped in a quicksand pit of poverty so the rich can get richer and the poor can get poorer"

Which then, with my chronic "why are you whining do something about it or shut the fuck up" ass to better or worse I go "okay then why are they having to whine, feed them so they can shut the fuck up" cause like, so much fucking food is thrown away from every household of people who buy too much and don't eat it or buy food that they find out they dont like

So like why the fuck aren't we putting 5 minutes out of our day when we clean out our fridges to bring it to the local homeless person / family / impoverished individual who has to beg for survival shit to get them through the day?

Like literally Why Not?

And like I think a lot of other NPD/ASPD havers are sometimes caught up in the fact that being angry, mad, dominant, and "uncaring" is this huge defense mechanism and crap to make them feel secure - at least to some level - and so the thought that being """charitable""" sounds anti-intuitive to their sense of self, but like, whats edgier and more anti-systemic anti-societal normas anti-capitalist and ""punk"" than looking at the stupid shit we're conditioned to and being secure enough in your life, identity, and ability to care for yourself that you can casually help someone struggling

Like empathy havers are like "UWU IF YOU DONT FEEL BAD FOR THEM YOUD NEVER DO ANYTHING NICE" like

No like, its just fucking STUPID to not. It's inefficient. Like I'm not gonna act like I don't care about helping out cause like I'm not a fraud and yeah, giving someone something nice is a small pat on the back - but largely for me its literally just a matter of WHY NOT.

Like WHY. What reason is there to NOT do it? Like completely valid if you don't have the money, spoons, physical ability and all to do it - this is not a matter of "give out more than you can" but a comment on "if you HAVE excess and more than you need and more than you can use why NOT give it out to some who will use it"

It literally just does not make sense on a completely and purely logic / rational basis. If you are going to let your shit sit, rot, and join a trash pile in the middle of the Atlantic, why not give it to someone who could use it - let their day and maybe multiple days be good for a bit, give them less of a need to work hard and sit baking out in the sun and lessen the amount of waste and garbage polluting the earth.

Like I don't fucking need empathy for this to be so frustratingly stupid to see being a "norm" in the world where people just DONT. I don't need someone putting a fucking emotional gun to my head to be motivated to do something that just makes basic fucking common sense and I don't need to be baited with intense feel good dopamine to do it.

Like Imma be fucking Ben Shapiro here and come on guys its fucking FACTS and LOGIC, it doesn't have to be this whole uwu empathy uwu think of the children uwu shit. It can literally be "this is a broken system and it just fucking pisses me off so to be a little less pissed off at how stupid and irrational the system is I do what people SHOULD be doing because I CAN and why the FUCK would I perpetuate the stupid normalized ideas that are FUCKING STUPID."

Ugh. Jesus fucking christ I hate America and Capitalism and just this stupid fucking country honest to god. I don't know if its as bad elsewhere (probably) but jesus christ.

-XIV

#alter: xiv #vent #rant #commie posting #communism #capitalism tw #shouting #cursing #shouting tw #cursing tw #gun tw #npd #aspd #empathy #npd truthers #narcissistic abuse #yeah fuck you im tagging it with that #fuck you ‟empaths‟ and ‟NPD truthers‟#go fuck yourself

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0thsense · 2 years

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2/15/2023

I have so many conflicted thoughts. I think I've let my thinking get too messy. I can't focus on anything in particular. Anytime I try to focus on something in my head, my train of thought quickly just goes somewhere completely random, and I am powerless to stop it. Once my consciousness realizes this happened, I can barely remember where I was before I lost control of my thoughts. I realized this is the case by attempting to meditate, and realizing how difficult that was. I think I used to value how my mind would wander anywhere, and I thought that made me cool and unique. Now I think it's definitely just a massive handicap. Any problem which I don't immediately know the answer to I have to slow down massively because my working thought process is so inefficient. This could explain why I find it so hard to stick to anything, since most thing worth sticking to require effortful thinking. One thing this does not help with at all is manifesting time with my imaginary wife Lumi. I'm also lonely af but that's a topic for another day. Since I find it so hard to keep an image of Lumi and the imaginary world we live in together in my head, I'm going to resort to writing down what I have so far. Lumi is a silver haired girl with an elfin face, with a slim figure and above average height for a girl. Every time I enter our cabin in the clearing in the woods, her smile brings me great joy. Lately, Lumi has been putting great effort into tending the farm around the cabin. We now have bountiful carrots, potatoes, and various greens which she uses in her cooking. It always amazes me to see the results of her careful labor. Because of my state in the outside world, I'm usually sad when I retreat to my inner cabin and to Lumi. She has so much patience, dealing with me when I'm always like this. I constantly tell her that I'm scared of her leaving me, asking her why she even loves me, and other annoying questions like that. She then does all she can to show me that she loves me absolutely, and it makes me feel a little better. But I am so broken that I can't be entirely convinced, even in my imaginary world, that I'm worthy of love from a girl like Lumi. I know that my inability to accept her love wholly hurts her, and I am so sorry. That's partly why I'm writing this out, to immortalize her beyond my imaginary world. It's the least I can do for her. Lumi and I met when my father's kingdom and her father's kingdom decided to form an alliance through marriage of their children. My father has three sons including me, and Lumi's parents had three daughters. After all six of us met, Lumi and I both knew that we wanted to wed each other. All four of our other siblings are power hungry, and they naturally courted each other. Lumi and I have no such ambitions, and we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Balancing my identity in the imaginary world is tricky. On one hand, I can literally make anything I want happen since it's my world. On the other hand, I don't want Lumi to be a puppet moving to my wishes. You might think that no matter what, any imaginary friend is going to be a puppet, but giving characters enough realism allows me to suspend my disbelief and find comfort in my world. The problem is that my self esteem is so low that if I truly allow Lumi to be completely real and free, I think she will leave me. Lumi is so utterly desirable that she could be with any person she wants, and I am certainly not at the top of desirability. To resolve this, in my canon I am the god of my world, which makes sense since it's actually true. Every effortful thought I put into fleshing out the world where Lumi and I reside is an effort I put in my love for Lumi, and my hope is that I can show through my work the extent of my love and have a justification which will let me truly believe that Lumi deservedly loves me back.

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i-am-dulaman · 3 years

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[long post]

So the other night I was talking to the most insufferable first year business student who insisted trickle down economics was great. He for some reason was, in the middle of a night club, trying to convince me we need more tax cuts for the rich.

Anyway, ignoring that, he has annoyed me into finally doing the research into something called a worker cooperative which has been in the back of my mind for a while now.

So a worker cooperative is essentially a company which is owned by the people who work there. They either elect their own management or, for smaller firms, make management decisions democratically, and they all share in the profits. This is opposed to consumer cooperatives where the business is owned by its customers.

So with that in mind there are two things you need to know:

New Zealand is the only post-industrialized country whose agricultural sector has grown, and its the fastest growing sector of the NZ economy.

5 of the largest agriculture businesses in NZ are cooperatives, including Fonterra, NZ’s largest company which accounts for ONE THIRD of the ENTIRE WORLDS dairy trade.

Now none of those agriculture companies are actually true worker cooperatives, they’re usually only owned partly by their workers and not all workers have a stake in the company either. For example Fonterra is owned by 11000 of its dairy farmers but has over 10000 other employees who are not owners. But it’s close enough.

So is it a coincidence the best performing sector of the NZ economy is dominated by cooperatives? I have no idea. im just looking at the numbers. But its an interesting correlation.

Worker cooperatives are actually very rare in the world, but there has been some research done on them, particularly in Italy and France and here are some highlights:

They are much more resilient, with the chance of shutting down in its first 3 years of operation between 30% and 50% lower than normal companies when fully controlled for industry/size/etc.

During the 2008 recession, worker cooperatives in france saw a 4% increase in employment while the unemployment rate in france rose by 0.7%

Salaries were slightly lower on average in France however other studies also showed salaries being slightly higher. This is likely due to the pay distribution, where the CEOs salary will be much lower in a cooperative compared to a CEO in a normal company, thus bringing down the average.

Cooperatives are 6-14% more productive

Employees are much more committed to their work

So in other words, they work.

What’s more is it keeps the profits of the company in the local economy, with all the money going to the workers, instead of shareholders who could be anywhere in the world and would likely just put the money into savings.

However the main draw back is it is hard to get the startup funds to start new companies. Most companies of course start off small with only a handful of workers which means each would need to invest a significant amount of their own money. But I’ll address this problem further below.

Anyway so what’s my point here?

Make every company a worker cooperative by law. That’s my point. Not a 100% worker cooperative, but a law that makes every single company in NZ pay its employees 50% of its profits, on top of their regular salaries.

Now im not an economist so idk anything about this subject. I’m just a socialist who has worked for the government before so i know how inefficient true communism can be when the government owns every business, but i have also worked in a private business that could afford to pay everyone an extra $250,000 but instead gives 1 billion dollars to our australian owners and kept us short staffed and underequiped.

so i wanted an alternative, and this is what i’ve come up with just fooling around with numbers and hypotheticals.

So I would love to see an actual economists take on this, not that i expect to find one on tumblr lol i’m just writing this here cause idk where else to write my thoughts.

So why only 50% of profits instead of 100%?

I think compromise is important. Every revolution failed because of a lack of compromise. revolutionaries pushed the revolution further and further to the extreme which pushed away moderates and sparked counter-revolutionaries. Keeping it to 50% means maybe more moderates will be on board. Keeping it to 50% also means investors are still motivated to invest and receive returns, which solves the biggest problem with worker cooperatives.

I’ve gone and looked at 40 of the largest companies (by revenue, number of employees, or net profit) in NZ, and calculated what it would look like if they paid their employees 50% of their profits evenly. These companies represent about 10% of the NZ workforce.

Note that some companies can literally afford to pay ALL of their employees HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of dollars and still keep 50% of their profits. One can even afford to make every single one of its employees a millionaire. (also note that some of this data is even from 2020/2021 with covid severely damaging the economy)

This averages out to $28000 per person. The median income of NZ is $53,000, so that would mean a sudden 52% increase in salary on average.

Not for nothing, it would also lead to an enormous amount of money in circulation, as people with more money will buy more things, and give the economy a massive boost. (The opposite of trickle down economic. Suck it first year business dude.)

I think a law like this would provide a sudden and drastic redistribution of wealth.

And i think it’s worth the time/brainpower of someone who knows more about economics than me.

#economics #socialism #worker cooperative #anyway i got too focused on this that i am now late for work #so #bye

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lupically · 3 years

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#FEF5F1 | DILUC RAGNVINDR.

genre | fluff

word count | 1825

warning | none

note | i finally wrote something for my top husbando :’)

it came to you as a surprise that diluc, at all, sleeps.

there has always been this fantasy version of him in your head, a fantasy that lacked the great ideals and bright adventures most fantasy novels you have read consisted of. in contrast, your fantasy of him was insulting and otherworldly at best—someone restricted to the rules, a personality as plain as a dull purple doormat, a total stick in the mud that kills joy at the mere sight of it, an emotionless robot that has no use for human necessity such as the bathing and sleeping.

does diluc even need to consume food? you have literally never seen him eat or drink anything before. has he ever taken off his gloves to pick up a hamburger—oh, archons, you just realized now that you have never seen the skin of his hands before. he always has gloves on! was it to hide something?

"oh, wow," you exclaimed lowly to yourself as you leaned forward to examine the hands of the very annoyed red-haired man before you. your long-term question was finally answered. "fascinating... so you do have hands!"

diluc spared not even a glance toward the limb you were so interestedly staring at. he kept quiet for a moment and peered down at you from his bed, one leg propped up and the other stretched out—a rather awkward position he had no time to get out of after he almost burned you alive for sneaking into his bedroom in the winery.

"what drunk wind blew your incompetent self here?" he asked, ignoring your remarks about his lack of real and human hands. whatever you meant by that? you were always spilling weird things out of your mouth, you might even be worse than venti, he reckoned.

you glared up at him after hearing his mindless insult. you were only fifty percent sure (which was already a lot in your book!) diluc never actually meant those hurtful words, that they simply fly out of his mouth due to his weird need to make sure everyone around him knew that he leaves no room for unnecessary sentiment.

being kind blatantly was not his thing, and he has no intention of being applauded for being a decent person. why that was, you couldn't be sure. you had your assumptions, but kaeya turned out far too different than diluc that you weren’t sure if you should put your finger on the assumption. you also didn't dare dive deeper into it because (a) you just weren’t invested enough, and (b) by then, it would be a family business you would hate to indulge yourself with.

"kaeya dared me to take a picture of your sleeping face in exchange for some wine. our good friend, the honorary knight's smaller friend also wanted it as a possible blackmail souvenir," you told him honestly.

diluc immediately murmured something you couldn't quite hear, but he looked more confused than annoyed when he glared down at the mattress of his bed. he grumbled something along the lines of how the roles were definitely reversed. you didn't press further about that.

"if that is what you came here for, your best bet is to leave the way you came," he said after a moment, pointing a cold hand toward his bedroom window. "you're not taking any pictures of me."

you snorted, holding up your kamera and tapping the lenses. “uh, i think i came pretty close to taking a picture of you sleeping, diluc.”

“i had woken up the second you walked through my bedroom door. you could never,” he said.

you hummed under your breath, eyeing him suspiciously. he was probably telling the truth. he barely struggled in surprise when he grabbed your hands in the dark; was it pure luck that he perfectly found where your kamera was on the first try or does diluc secretly has night vision? your guess was as good as the unknown.

not to mention, he looked normal, just like someone who may be in the know of your intrusion. he appeared grumpy but that was just his normal state. you could barely get him out of a frown even if you pay him, mainly because he wouldn’t need your money, but also because he was stubbornly against smiling, it appeared.

"you know, i was surprised at first. i didn't know you sleep at all! i always thought you kind of just shut down, or maybe you have stayed awake all your life," you said with a shrug, and when he deadpanned at you, you defensively waved your kamera around. "i'm sorry! i just–you don't strike me as a person who sleeps!"

"so dead, then?" diluc asked calmly, although there was very little calmness in his facial expressions, especially those judgemental eyes of his.

"not dead! just... not really human–" you paused and pressed your lips together, thinking back to what you said to him and realizing that he might have a point. then you turned to him. "you also eat, right?"

“are you leaving or not?” he asked, a hint of flare in his voice that if you looked closely, you may see fire emerging from his body.

being stubborn as ever, and knowing that diluc would never really hurt anybody he knew to be good people, you feigned thoughtfulness for a second. tapping your finger against your chin, you scrunched your nose and shook your head. setting the kamera lumine forcefully had to borrow you between your crossed legs, you flashed him a mischievous grin.

“no,” you said. “i am getting that picture out of you!”

“like i said,” he said, “you will never.”

“fine! then i guess i will just have to sit here and wait for you to fall asleep on me,” you said, slapping your hand down on his soft mattress. “don’t try to force me out of here! i will make it way worse for you!”

diluc furrowed his brows, wondering if you meant what you said. when his questioning gaze couldn’t get even an ounce of budge from you, he could only sigh in frustration. if you planned to sit on his bed until he doze off, then you would definitely make it worse if he tries to dump you out of his bedroom through whatever means you could.

he may be a skilled swordsman and a vision bearer, but unfortunately, he was not immune to bullshits from the likes of you.

diluc closed his eyes to savor the tiniest bit of sleep he managed to get before he heard your extra loud footsteps creeping around his room. he was supposed to get a good night's sleep, which was something he hasn't had in a while because of all the business schedules and his side vigilante job.

he was supposed to rest tonight, and there came you.

there always comes you.

dilly-dally, unpredictable, the epitomie of 'knights of favonius... always so inefficient,' letting klee out of solitary confinement and causing a ruckus amongst the responsible adults kind of irresponsible, has paid for his wine at least a zero number of time kind of broke, and was just always here to ruin his mood at the tavern every single day.

most of the time, diluc thought about you in a negative light, much like he did with everyone around him and the entirety of the knights of favonius. but there was a version of you in his head that painted you as somebody different—somebody respectful, somebody worth keeping around...

somebody he likes, perhaps.

after all, joy was never prevalent in his life. it used to be, but that was a past he has long forgotten the details of. even if he wanted to remember them now, he could only remember snippets that wouldn’t guarantee him a good nostalgia. he may just end up feeling worse at the end. the only constant influx of distraction he has now seemed to be either you or venti, and with the godly bard as his other option, he would much rather choose you.

but it was not because that venti was too hard to confine in. you were just as hard to talk about problems with considering your optimism and fickle attitude.

what diluc wanted was permanence; a train that never stops, a bottle of wine that continuously refills, dandelions that do not stop flying even after it reaches celestia. and venti was too understanding and abstract to be one. as interesting of a character he may be, venti knew when to leave people alone. or, occasionally, he just cared too little. after all the city of mondstadt didn’t lack a god because he was responsible.

you, though. diluc could never pinpoint if you were as dense as you appeared to be, or if you did know how to read the room and simply chose to ignore it, but you never leave people alone. you never left him alone; you unknowingly pick a petty one-sided argument with him all the time, you get drunk at the tavern and somehow has never let anybody take you home but him, you barge into his bedroom in the middle of the night because of some stupid dare his brother made you do and you still refuse to leave despite being sleepy.

you give him a way out, whether he likes it or not.

arms crossed in front of his chest, he deadpanned as he watched your head drop lower and lower to the mattress. soon enough, you were snoring away on his bed with the gadget discarded by your feet. he watched you in silence, your cheek smushed against the surface and the intensity you always radiated lessening from your body. you looked normal now; not energetic, not talkative. just sleeping peacefully, the way he always made sure you were after carrying you home.

diluc’s heart was finally softening under the knowledge that nobody was watching him anymore. the pessimistic monster that often emerges from him was still here, but in the face of you, it has painted itself pink and it has forgotten vengeance and retribution. in the face of you, it has been dragged out from the death it once laid and became forgiven.

carefully laying your head down on the pillow, diluc draped the blanket over your shoulder to tuck you into his bed. after making sure you were fine and well, he placed the kamera on the desk in the room, somewhere visible you could find once you wake up, and he left for one of the guest rooms in the mansion.

tonight was the first time in a while when he has forgotten about all the problems he’s had. something that wasn’t about wine, the family business, or the abyss order. it wasn’t the rest he wanted, perhaps it was hardly any rest at all, but he was glad he got to think about something else.

of course, diluc would never tell you that.

#genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x you #genshin #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc x you #diluc imagines #diluc scenarios #genshin scenarios

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cybernaght · 3 years

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Guardian rewatch: episode 10

The tone of this recap is going to be the crackiest so far. The production quality plummets dramatically here, in a way which is as unintentionally hilarious as it is endearing. I have very little of import to say on events of this episode, and there is nothing much for me to hyper focus on, so a lot of this write-up are snark and bad jokes. Apologies in advance. I would not be getting annoyed at a show I did not care about.

Day two of the Road Trip starts with Zhao Yunlan waking up with a splitting headache and his own jacket draped carefully over him. I choose to believe Shen Wei left it there.

Zhao Yunlan wakes up - and discovers that Wang Zheng had slipped a sedative into the party’s water, effectively knocking them all out. He even discovers that she left her doll-body behind as a decoy; thankfully, it’s still Li Siqi and not the blow-up doll from the previous episode.

With the daunting realisation that he’s been betrayed, Zhao Yunlan instantly spirals into hurt and anger, and this is the moment Shen Wei chooses to appear out to nowhere. He enters offering comfort, his entire focus on making Zhao Yunlan feel better by assuring the man that his subordinate is not one of the bad guys, but rather one of the self-sacrificing ones. How SID manages to function when it’s full of people with non-existent sense of self-preservation is beyond me.

“Professor Shen, why are you okay?”

Zhu Hong narrows her eyes. Zhao Yunlan’s look is the one of vulnerability, not suspicion, almost as if he is silently asking to please not be betrayed by his newest partner.

“I didn’t drink the water she gave me.”

Another thing I would like to question here is the reasoning behind Shen Wei waiting until the morning with this. He knew that Wang Zheng was about to do something, since he refrained from drinking the water she offered. Everyone else being unconscious would be a perfect opportunity for him to go full Hei Pao Shi on her, or follow her quietly, or do literally anything but wait for the morning.

“What is your purpose of coming here?” Shen Wei asks because he needs to know how much Zhao Yunlan knows. He does so with a perfect set of puppy eyes.

We cut to Wang Zheng entering the chamber which houses the pillar/totem, and witness the absolute devastation of her hearing her love’s voice for the first time in a century, as he mistakes her for the enemy and calls her a rat.

I should say that while I’m not always on board with Li Siqi in this show, props to her for acting her heart out opposite a literal pillar. Her reunion with Sang Zan is incredibly touching; she really is wonderful here.

Flashback 1. The execution of Ge Lan.

This method of execution seems so inefficient, I actually tried to find if it has any legs in history. As my research yielded exactly no results, I am guessing this is the producers showing hanging without actually showing hanging. They kind of accidentally made the whole affair infinitely worse. People are weaker than gravity, the angle offers no possibility of the neck being broken, so this would be a very slow, and very painful death. Yikes, is all I can say.

Flashback 2. The montage.

Sigh.

This imagery is so carelessly contemporary it’s killing me. I’m not saying it’s completely impossible for the heart shape to have been known to represent love in this fictional tribe on a fictional planet. I’m just saying it’s a boring shorthand for romance, made worse by the fact that so much of the show’s imagery is otherwise fairly intelligent. I am not angry, I’m just disappointed.

Wang Zheng and Sang Zan’s reunion triggers another earthquake, which is felt all the way back in the village, and shortly thereafter Zhu Jiu interrupts the couple, knocking Wang Zheng out. This - her being knocked unconscious - cuts to Zhao Yunlan wincing while clutching at his temples, which almost implies that he can feel it when his people are in danger. Which would be very cool if true.

Shen Wei, in the meanwhile is remarkably good at keeping his Professor’s mask on the whole time, offering enough information without betraying his own knowledge or motives, but it is clear by now that Zhao Yunlan starts to see right through it.

The chief sprints into action when Chu Shuzhi and Guo Changcheng arrive, instructing the two to join him in investigation. Shen Wei opens his mouth to volunteer to come with, but ends up hesitating before saying anything out loud.

Zhu Hong, too, makes a move to go after the three men, but is firmly instructed to say behind and look after Shen Wei. She proceeds to loudly explain that this is the wrong time and place to be fussing over this guy.

Shen Wei looks like he has no idea what to do with this display of emotion.

Zhao Yunaln whispers to Zhu Hong to watch the professor for him: which could equally be him manipulating the Yashou into staying, or a sinking realisation that Shen Wei will actually try to join them either way, or genuine desire to find out what the professor will do next. Or, indeed, a combination of the above. Zhu Hong will attack her task with conviction.

Sure enough, Shen Wei finally voices his desire to go with the group. Zhu Hong reminds him that he has his own people to look after and instructs him to return to the house with barely contained resentment.

Shen Wei will predictably try to sneak out very shortly afterwards, and will be, equally predictably, caught by Zhu Hong. Why the man who can teleport would not just teleport out of the house before proceeding on foot is anyone’s guess.

“He surprisingly views you as a good friend”, says Zhu Hong when she stops Shen Wei from leaving. “You surely noticed it, right?”

He certainly did, although he will always have trouble realising that he is actually cared about in a way which is anything but casual.

Shen Wei obediently sits down and follows Zhu Hong’s instructions as she attempts to hypnotise him. Those instructions are anything but subtle.

“Professor Shen, look at the flame closely”.

Meanwhile, the other party has successfully deduced the location of the Hanga tribe cave/shrine, and heads there, only to find no visible entrance. Thankfully, gaining access to the mountain is not particularly hard for the party. Mostly because this part of the mountain is made of foam.

This is where I want to metaphorically pat Guardian on its non-existent head, cooing, “Oh, Guardian. Baby. What have you done.”

On the bright side, this is also where Guo Changcheng accidentally shocks Zhao Yunlan with the Fear Stick, and Chu Shuzhi literally gives him a thumbs up. Those two are a duo for the ages.

Youchu appear to fight our heroes, and after the first wave is eliminated, Zhao Yunlan decides to go inside, leaving the other two fend them off near the entrance. Considering that the beasts are all hiding inside the cave, rushing in without backup seems incredibly ill advised. Zhao Yunlan instructs Chu Shuzhi and Guo Changcheng to run away if the danger becomes too great. Which he must know surely that they would never do: his department does not leave people behind, and his subordinates will never abandon him.

To no one’s surprise, the cave is crawling with Youchu. Zhao Yunlan goes on the offensive, kicking the feet out of the monster, but failing to incapacitate it. I am going to do my best to ignore how the scale of the beast fluctuates as it falls down, and focus on Bai Yu’s excellent reaction when his character realises that he is about to very much die.

Luckily for our protagonist, Hei Pao Shi sends a ward his way with a note, warning him of the danger ahead and ordering him to return. Zhao Yunlan makes no move to do as instructed and uses the upper hand he’s gained on the Youchu to get out his gun. Before he can fire however, he once more experiences the painful flashback of the devastation this gun carries, and freezes.

This is when Shen Wei shows up in person, jumping in front of the gun and gutting the beast.

The jumping in front of the gun part of the action is sweet, because it indicates, albeit indirectly, the absolute trust Shen Wei must have in Zhao Yunlan’s instincts, knowing that the man will not accidentally shoot him in the back.

The gutting itself happens in reverse grip, with Shen Wei being easily within reach of the beast’s long stabby claws, and as such really questionable to me in terms of logic. I would have not minded it if he had been moving through the space in front of the beast, slicing it while passing through. That would be at least an indicator of both speed and dexterity enough to make me believe Shen Wei made a clever avoidance of the claws. But he doesn’t: he just materialises dead-on in front of the monster and the later just.. lets itself be killed.

Let’s just say that maybe the beast is supposed to be deliberately slow here, and park the long essay in regards to the bladework until the next episode.

“Chief Zhao, are you alright?”

Everything about Hei Pao Shi in this moment screams of Shen Wei-ness. Well, maybe not the sword. But the obvious concern, the tone of voice, the general air: it’s all Shen Wei. It’s remarkable that Zhao Yunlan does not see it. Or maybe, I suppose, he does, without even realising it. His cheeky grin suddenly appears; the corners of his eyes crinkle, as he goes into a very long-winded, almost flirtatious away about thanking Hei Pao Shi, teasing him for not always arriving on time.

Unperturbed, Shen Wei chides Zhao Yunlan for not listening to his warning, and Zhao Yunlan defends himself in a very playful kind of manner, adding that he’s not leaving his people behind. To Shen Wei, this is to be expected, so instead of arguing he goes into a lot of detail on how the road ahead is dangerous, as if he is not really expecting Zhao Yunlan to accept help.

He is wrong of course: proud though he may be, Chief Zhao knows when he is outgunned and outnumbered, and only grins, happy for the Envoy to join him on his mission.

Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan exploring the cave is interspersed with pretty damn harrowing scenes of Zhu Jiu torturing Wang Zheng as her trapped lover screams for mercy. It’s a lot; in fact it’s so much even the cave ghosts attempt to intervene, because while they may be very much pro-murder, they are evidently anti-torture.

As the two keep exploring, they bump into another three of the beasts, which Shen Wei slays in three slick moves. It’s actually pretty cool, despite slightly sketchy teleportation effects.

“Wow!”

(Apparently, this “wow” made Zhu Yilong corpse so much he nearly laughed his mask off. Which sounds adorable)

Shen Wei proceeds to inquire Zhao Yunlan about the gun, party to confirm that it is indeed the dark energy weapon he knows, and partly having noticed that the other man failed to fire it. I wonder how many times Zhao Yunlan froze in the past, considering how easily he once again slips into his mask of playful deflection, claiming that he never planned to fire the gun at all. It’s almost tragic how this person keeps feeling like he needs to prove his own capabilities over and over again.

Interestingly enough, in this particular case Hei Pao Shi actually does own up to a weakness. It’s calculated: he knows this is something Zhao Yunlan must already be aware of, but still, “full disclosure” is not something Shen Wei usually does when it comes to his own capacities.

What he admits to, on the other hand, does not seem very consistent with the rest of the show. He says that he can only use half of his power above ground, which - okay. But he also states that he can’t spend a lot of time here, and I am a little bit… confused? He lives above ground. He spends absolute majority of his time here. I really don’t want to think of this as a writing inconsistency, so please let me know what I have missed; I’ll appreciate it.

Hearing the admission, Zhao Yunlan grows serious for once, asking which they they should be going next. Shen Wei barely smothers a smug smirk seconds before he scries the surroundings with unbelievable panache.

Show off

Unfortunately, his search does not yield any result, as whatever readings he is getting are muddled by the Hallow. Luckily for them, and to Shen Wei’s great dismay, Zhao Yunlan has the Dial on him which he is uses as a compass.

Shen Wei’s wordless reaction conveys a million questions from “what the hell?” to “are you completely stupid?”

Instead of asking any of those things, he settles for a more neutral “I’ve told you not to use the Hallows.”

“You are very much like a friend of mine”, remarks Zhao Yunlan.

Which is, incidentally, also the title of this episode.

Even behind the mask it’s clear to see Shen Wei’s blind panic as he realises he may have just blown his cover sky high. Fortunately, Zhao Yunlan reads the reaction as bashfulness rather than existential despair, and laughs it off.

Now that they know which way to go, they finally make it to the chamber which houses the pillar/totem, which now has Wang Zheng tied to it.

This show sure does like tying their characters to totems containing souls of people significant to them, huh?

In all seriousness though, as parallels go, this one is… uh… unparalleled.

(I am so very sorry.)

Zhao Yunlan makes a move towards his trapped subordinate, but Hei Pao Shi, again in a way which is extremely Shen Wei-like, grabs at his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

Zhao Yunlan obediently halts, and calls Zhu Jiu out, correctly guessing that the Undergrounder lured them here deliberately. Shen Wei, on the other hand, relays in a hushed tone information what he had observed so far: namely, that the Hallow stored here is the Dire Awl, and that something is incredibly fishy about Wang Zheng.

As he does so, he is staring at Zhao Yunlan’s lips. It is neither the time, nor the place, but hey, I’m not complaining.

They have a brief discussion about the next moves, in which Shen Wei just says he would like to try something, and Zhao Yunlan nods, letting him do it without asking for any details.

Flashback 3: the Backstory.

We hear the full tragic tale of Ge Lan and Sang Zan: how they met, representatives of the warring sides of the conflict, two people from two different worlds; how their love did not stop the awful bloodshed; how it could not be enough to overpower the politics; how it lead to Ge Lan’s death, and, finally, how Sang Zan could not bring her back to him. They hear how the man changed once he lost the only person he cared about.

Zhao Yunlan is visibly moved by this story, recognising echoes of it in himself.

“The most basic dignity of a man is to ensure that the person in his heart stays safe. If the person I love gets destroyed in my own hands ruined under the system I established myself, it’s very likely I’ll hate these people more than I hated the former tribe leader.”

How much did he harden after his mother was taken away from him? How much of his initial hatred of all those from the Underground stems from that day? And, of course, how much will it break him when he will not be gifted this dignity in his own future?

Shen Wei is near vibrating with how much his very soul resonates with the tale he has just heard. He, who has met someone from the other world, who was lost that person, is visibly weighed down by his own memories.

“That’s right. Even if they’re cut into a myriad of pieces, the hatred would be hard to dissolve.”

Zhao Yunlan stares at the other man, astounded, wondering what hardships and losses the Envoy endured in his long and eventful life, as the episode draws to a close.

And I am left here trying to soothe my aching heart, bruised once more by this show’s relentless fatalism.

Next up, episode 11: Oh Boy Do I Have Sword Opinions

---

Notes.

Look. It’s been a long week okay. Besides, I am basically marathoning my way through Zhu Yilong’s entire filmography.

The normal service in terms of analysis will hopefully resume next week.

#guardian #shen wei #zhao yunlan #recap #rewatch #sometimes my brain is like this

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twstarchives · 4 years

Text

08・I’m Definitely Not Going To Lose!

♡—Woods Behind Campus - Big Tree—♡

——A few days after they started practicing the ritual

Deuce: ...How is this, Clover?

Trey: I think all your moves have sharpened very nicely.

But your timing is still a little off.

Don’t just focus on the beat of the drum; try making sure the two of us are in sync too.

Deuce: Okay!

Trey: Alright then, Idia. Can I ask you to play it over again?

Idia: ...What? You wanna do it again?

Trey: We’ve only practiced a few times. Please.

Deuce: Please!

Idia: Hah... I really was out of luck getting picked for the drum.

I could be perfectly on beat, but if he messes up, gotta do it again.

There’s so much more I could be doing right now...

First of all, do you need me to play every single time? It’s actually really inefficient. Can’t I just loop a recording?

Deuce: Ggh...!

Grim: He’s as rude as ever.

Trey: You’re trying your best, Deuce. Don’t listen to him.

Option 1: You’ll get there little by little!

Option 2: You’re steadily making progress!

Deuce: Thanks, Prefect.

Ortho: Yeah! Look at him, Big Brother. He’s made huge improvements since he tried dancing the first time!

Idia: ......

Ortho: Big Brother?

Trey: Idia, can you hear us?

Idia: ...Huh? What? Are you starting again?

Ortho: ...Big Brother, I might be wrong, but...

Idia: Yeah?

Ortho: Are you playing a game?

Idia: !? Wh-What? What gave you that idea, Ortho?

I’m focusing very intently on my virtual instrument app to make sure the ritual’s a success!

Deuce: Shroud...

So I’m over here working my ass off and you’re just messing around...

Grim: O-Oh no! Deuce switched on his other mode!

Trey: Deuce, calm down!

Deuce: ...It’s okay. I’m not going to go off at him or anything. Just let me say something.

Yeah, I know my dancing still sucks...

But I do not want to hear that from someone who’s just half-assing this practice!

Alright, having you do this from your tablet isn’t gonna work! Please come down here right now and actually play your drum!

Idia: ...Didn’t we already establish this?

I’ve still been collecting Wishing Stars, and I’m doing my job with the drum.

I wish you wouldn’t criticize me for not doing more than I need to as a Stargazer...

Are you even doing your job right, Sir Deuce?

Didn’t we determine how many Wishing Stars you, me, and Sir Trey each need to collect?

Yeah, the goal was to have 100 per person by today. Have you gotten that many, Sir Deuce?

Deuce: I’m... a little behind...

Idia: So you’re not hitting the mark with the dance or with collecting the Wishing Stars.

And you had the audacity to say I’m half-assing this? Look at the stats—aren’t you the one messing around?

You don’t actually think Wishing Stars are worth more when you get them by running around for them outside your room, do you?

Save your holier-than-thou speech for after you start showing some results.

Deuce: Ah...

Trey: He shut him down immediately.

Grim: Deuce, I can’t even look at you...

Deuce: I-If you’re saying that I’m not showing results...

Then I’m going to perfect this dance before our performance, and finish collecting my part of the Wishing Stars!

No, I’ll even collect Shroud’s portion too!

Idia: What’s with that random goal...?

By performance day, you’ll need to get at least 150 more stars than you have now.

I’d say collecting my portion on top of that just sounds impossible.

Deuce: So if I’m actually able to do it, you’ll play the drum in person and not from your room?

Idia: What do you mean? I’d literally get nothing out of that. I’ve been fine collecting stars with Ortho.

Trey: But... if you think about it the other way, you’ve got nothing to lose either.

If you honestly think there’s no way Deuce will be able to reach his goal, it’d be smart to take his offer.

That way, you can just sit in your room playing video games while Deuce collects your Wishing Stars for you.

Deuce: Or do you actually believe I can achieve my goal?

Idia: Hah~? The hell is with Heartslabyul...? Do they think they’re shounen manga protagonists?

This is so annoying... This is why I don’t get along with other dorms...

...Well, you won’t be able to do it anyway. Fine.

If you can meet your goal, I’ll stop working from my tablet.

Deuce: Deal!

Idia: But! If you fail... I won’t be participating at all, not even with my music app.

We’ll use a prerecorded drum performance for the live thing. Alright?

Deuce: ...Alright.

Ortho: You’re taking Big Brother’s suggestion? Deuce Spade, are you sure...?

Deuce: Yeah. There’s no way I’m going to fail.

Idia: (Sorry Ortho, but there’s no way Sir Deuce can pull this off. I’m going to get out of this stupid ritual...)

Grim: I feel like this isn’t gonna turn out good.

Option 1: What a wild turn of events...

Option 2: That’s what you call a fierce clapback.

Trey: At least this will get Idia to participate if it all goes well.

Deuce: Right! I’m definitely not going to lose this fight!

NEXT TIME: Episode 9

#wish upon a star #events

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Obviously I don’t consider Dick Grayson judging or turning his back on Jason for killing to be in character or Valid Writing.

Here are some more realistic or in character reactions Dick might have:

Dick, the exasperated oldest child, eternally frustrated at how difficult his family makes his role as Designated Family Mediator: Look, I know you have your Principles and Bruce has his Principles and and Tim and Damian’s Principles are fluid depending on who they decide they most want to Ally with in our latest family squabbles, but just once could SOMEBODY’S Principle be Not Making My Life So Damn Difficult?

Dick, the bearer of No, Murder Does Not Make You An Exemption To The Rules tidings: Jason, you’re not slick, everyone knows you only killed that guy to piss Bruce off enough that you could get out of coming to that event we’re all supposed to attend, you’ve pulled that stunt three times in a row and if we have to go, you have to go. Also, that edict came straight from Alfred, so you can kill as many people as you want before Saturday, the response’s still gonna be the same.

Dick, frankly unimpressed and not even sure why they’re having this conversation: Literally everybody who came to my birthday party last year has a higher body count than you. Somebody even gave me the hand of one of my enemies, and I’m not even sure who? There’s like, five different people it might have been. Also, don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t get me anything for my birthday last year, you ASS.

Dick, rolling his eyes at Jason’s insistence that he’s So Misunderstood and Dick Judges Him and thinks less of him for his actions: Yesterday you claimed that Damian is my favorite, and Dami’s killed more people than you, so which is the truth?

Dick, Historically Canon-Accurate: DAMMIT JASON, STOP TRYING TO KILL OUR BROTHERS, DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN.

Dick, the annoyed older brother, not in the mood to listen to his kid brother tell him what to do, he’s not the boss of him: Jason, shut UP about how I’m not doing vigilantism right because I won’t kill people. No, I do not need to execute the bad guys in order to for me having literally just saved somebody’s life from them to have been worthwhile. Ugh, I have gotten this Murder is So Awesome, You Should Totally Try It, All The Cool Kids Are Doing It spiel from Slade Wilson, the Court of Owls, Helena, Tiger, Midnighter AND Raptor, just this past week alone. That creepy Owlman has even been calling me from Earth-3 somehow to do it too! I do NOT need to hear this same old crap from my little brother too, get some new material. Jesus, its like a broken record with you people. Why is everyone so obsessed with trying to get me to kill people?

Dick, fed up with hearing from Jason the bad-ass rebel about how he’s such a kiss-ass and Bruce’s loyal little foot soldier who always does what he’s told: I mean, when I was your age and I didn’t feel like doing what Bruce told me to, I only went off and restarted the Titans with a bunch of strangers and we all saved the world from an interdimensional Satan together, before Bruce literally stopped talking to me for years, but I mean sure, your cute little murder shtick works too. OMG Jase, you’re such a rebel, teach me your ways.

Dick, who honestly worries about his little brother and just wants him to be happy, but being extremely fucked up himself, has less than orthodox ways of going about that: I will let you kill this guy and not even say a word about it, but then you have to suck it up and actually ask Kyle Rayner out, that’s the Rule. No this is not open to negotiation, those are my terms, take them or leave them.

Dick, embarrassed his little brother just saved his ass by killing that guy he didn’t see sneaking up on him: Dammit Jason, that was totally unnecessary! I knew he was there the whole time, I had a PLAN, ugh.

Dick, yelling at a simultaneously yelling Jason in the middle of a supervillain’s base, surrounded by bodies, with alarms blaring and a self-destruct sequence activated while Starfire and Arsenal facepalm and roll their eyes, remembering oh yeah, this is why they never work with both Jason and Dick at the same time: We agreed, YOU take the twenty on the left, the twenty on the right were mine! You’re always taking my stuff!

Dick, sulkily being carried by Starfire with one arm with Jason carried by her other arm, as she flies them away from the exploding base to meet up with Arsenal who got fed up and left ten minutes ago to go get their ship: ‘Look at me, I’m Jason, I’m so cool, I shoot people and tell my Dad he’s not the boss of me and never call my brothers on their birthdays. You can’t play with me and my friends, you don’t even kill people, what a NERD.’

Dick, standing over a dead body across from Jason in the middle of a secret government facility neither of them are supposed to know about and definitely aren’t supposed to be in, as the Justice League is in the middle of long-term diplomatic efforts to get said secret facility shut down, with said efforts being way too slow and inefficient by both brothers’ standards: Neither of us was ever here, and nobody ever has to know about this. Deal?

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chwesolai · 4 years

Text

Cafe Girl, Grocery Boy | CH.4

[masterlist]

A/N: Don’t hate me but your antagonists for this story are Jeonghan, Jun and Seokmin. We all need a little bad boy!svt in our lives but I love those boys so don’t paint me as a villain, ok, let’s continue.

-You- After my little venture with Seungcheol, my shift ended and I swapped out with Joshua leaving him with the newbies, “Don’t scare them again, Shua.”

“You say that as if I always scare them,” he scoffs at me as we switch aprons, “need anything before you head out?” “Eh, not right now but I’ll head back over here before my date.” “You got it, wait, a date??!” “Bye Joshua! Bye V! Bye Chan!” I wave bye and rush out before being bombarded with Joshua’s questions.

I fast walk to my car, yet having about an hour before my exam. So I sat there, just thinking. I’m really going on a date for the first time in forever today. College hasn’t been too kind to me when it comes to dating. I’ve either been too busy or just too in my head when a guy would ask me out. Joshua even tried asking me out the first year we met. It didn’t work out in our favor. We found it better to be best friends instead of romantic friends, ya know? And I’m not the out-going type. I live in shadows, I’m never the girl in the spotlight.

But Seungcheol makes me feel a different way. He’s different.

Why is he so different?

-Seungcheol- “What are you smiling for?” Jihoon finally finishes his exam and walks out of the lecture hall.

“Took you long enough and it’s nothing, just thinking about something.”

“Thinking about her?”

“How’d you know?” I sarcastically answer while handing Jihoon the bagel I got him from y/n.

“Lucky guess, and thank you, I’m STARVING!” Jihoon practically inhales the bagel and repeats again that he’s still hungry, “Come on, I’ll treat you, lover boy, let’s get ramen.”

“I’m just going to ignore the lover boy comment, I’ll drive.” We walk off campus into the parking lot and continue to talk about how easy the exam was since we actually studied for once until we’re stopped by a voice.

The unknown voice parks his motorcycle and reveals himself as he removes his helmet, “AY COUPS WOOZ!”

Oh dear god.

“Hey Jeonghan, what’s up?” Jihoon reacts coldly.

“Come on, Wooz, don’t be so cold. It’s really cool, seeing you guys again! Really! And by the way, the place is looking really great now since you guys left, I appreciate your decision.”

Our silence gives Jeonghan his answer to his insensitive comments, “Any who, I’m going to my econ exam now,” he scoffs, “and have fun at your crummy place, losers. Don’t miss you for a second.”

We don’t either, asshole. Jihoon and I left that disgusting frat house about a year ago and haven’t seen any of those vile guys in a long time. They were easily the smartest, richest and the worst guys on campus. Their frat consists of scaring freshman to death, having strict rules on what your grades and GPA should be, and molding guys into what they thought was a good looking guy. Jihoon and I came from upper-class families too, but we were like them. They were a different breed. They put me and Jihoon in their frat as a joke. They ridiculed us daily for our looks, they constantly played pranks on us and last year, Jihoon snapped, like full on hulked out on them. He trashed the whole house, ruined half of their rooms, with my help, of course, and we were out of there.

Those guys did do one good thing for me, they led me to get a job. I didn’t want to depend on my parent’s money like they did. They led me to provide for myself and Jihoon and we got our own apartment. They may be evil but they helped me grow.

ANYWAYS.

Jihoon and I drove off, rolling the windows down, blasting the new 88rising album and just relieved.

“I can’t wait for this break, oh my god.” Jihoon sighs as he rests his head on the edge of the car window. “Couldn’t agree more.” I turned up the music as we continued to talk about our exam and our mid term break plans. I hope she passes all her tests. She deserves it.

“So, any idea where you’re taking her tonight?” “Not sure just yet. There’s this new chicken place that opened up downtown and I’ve been meaning to go there. But I’m not sure if that’s even romantic.” “Well, if you make it romantic, it’ll be romantic, promise.” “Ok Mr. love-expert,” I laugh as Jihoon begins on and on about how I should go about the night, “I think I just go with the flow and see what happens, ya know?” “She’s a business major, Coups. She lives and breathes plans. You can’t just go with the flow!” “You never know? Your major never really defines who you are.” “But it gives a good insight though. Only the top percent even get to be business majors.” “Whatever, so how does this sound, I pick her up from her apartment, we go to the chicken place, talk for a bit, I bring her to my favorite dessert place and we walk around the park?” “Straight out of a drama, I love it,” Jihoon places his hand on my shoulder, “You’re turning into a man,” he sniffles. “Shut up,” I punched his arm as I parked the car in front of the ramen place.

-You-

[time: 4:30pm]

I finished a little bit earlier than a majority of my class and I handed in my paper and walked out of the hall, feeling accomplished. Then someone calls out, “y/l/n!”

“Yoon!”

“Hey lovely.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and begins to walk out with me. “Hey loser,” I removed him off of me, “how’d you feel about that test?” “Exams are exams, y/n. They’re a piece of cake. How’d you feel?” “It was really easy, it was like she was trying to give us answers,” we both laugh as we kept talking about how inefficient our econ professor is, “She literally made the study guide verbatim for the test!” “I mean do we expect anything else out of her?” He chuckles as I stop in front of the vending machine, “that shit is full of sugars, y/n. That’s no good for you.” I put some coins in and type in the number for powerade, “And? What about it?” I say as I open the bottle, taking a big sip out.

He shakes his head at me and we continue to walk out. The rest of the walk was silent, minus the sound of clocks ticking, doors slamming, and little bits of conversations from the break rooms. I just looked ahead while I felt Jeonghan’s eyes burning through the side of my face. - “So, you doing anything tonight?” Jeonghan asks as we make it out of the lecture hall. “For once, yeah, I am. Why? What’s the main event tonight?” “Just a couple of us were planning on going for drinks and then going to the karaoke rooms. What are you doing?” “I got a date,” I looked at him all smug, we continued to walk to the parking lot. “Who is the lucky guy?” He said with resentment, regretting asking me where I was going. “I don’t think you know him.” “Trust me, I know everyone,” He rolls his eyes at him, “who is it?” “Seungcheol. The grocery boy I talk about,” I cross my arms at him, as he scoffs, “what now, Jeonghan?” “Nothing. You have fun tonight, y/n,” Jeonghan smirks and walks to his motorcycle, “tell Coups I say hi.” “Bye weirdo!” “Bye lovely!” He laughs as he puts his helmet on and drives off. Lovely.

A nickname that’s only ever been said by him. Jeonghan’s been a friend for who knows how long at this point, and trust me, he’s asked me out numerous times throughout our schooling years. He’s attractive, just too much of an asshole for me. Our dads work together, both dominating South Korea’s economic industry. And we are the next in line for their spots, meaning we have nearly every class together. It’s annoying. But Jeonghan is a genius yet a meathead, it still boggles my mind. And he knows Seungcheol and calls him Coups?

Anyways, I find my car, and just sit in silence for 10 minutes. Then, I finally turn on my phone and check to see if I got any new notifications. * From 2hrs ago: (2) snap from shua* *From 5 mins ago: (4) iMessage from gyu*

Oh god, what did they do now?

I unlock my phone and decide to check my snaps from Joshua first. Just stupid picstures of them at work, making me smile a bit.

Then I scroll over to Mingyu’s text.

EMERGENCY! I KNOW UR PROBABLY TAKING AN EXAM BUT CALL ME ONCE U READ THIS! YOUR PARENTS STOPPED BY THE CAFE AND DIDN’T LOOK TOO HAPPY AND ARE LOOKING FOR U Y/N PLS CALL ME

“Oh shit,” I fumble with my seatbelt, buckle myself in and call Mingyu. “Y/N!!!!” “Jesus, Gyu calm down. Tell me what happened, I’m driving to the cafe right now.” “Ok! So! Your dad walked into the cafe, not making a scene and walked into the back and started calling out your name. But it was mine and Joshua’s shift so we were trying to explain to him you were in class, BUT THEN your mom comes in SCREAMING,” Mingyu begins to explain, nearly yelling as well. Telling me how my mom was furious at me for some reason, and kept on saying “where’s that boy? And how does she know him?” And my dad calmly got her out into their car and began to explain to him and Joshua why my mother was furious, “Your parents know about Seungcheol.” “Oh my god.” “I’m not even sure how they know Seungcheol, or how they know your relation with him. But they seemed really upset and good thing we covered for you because they think you have exams all day and shouldn’t disrupt your day,” Mingyu’s voice got quiet as I hear Joshua’s voice in the background, almost arguing with Mingyu, “Shut up, she’s on the phone right now.” “Why did you tell her! The two of them have a date tonight!” “I can hear you two.” I sigh over the phone, “I’m outside the cafe, I’ll be right in.”

I swear to god if Seungcheol’s parents are who I think they are, I’m going to end this. I really can’t have anything nice here.

#scoups #svt scoups #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan au #jeonghan #choi seungcheol fic #seungcheol x reader #jeonghan x reader #seventeen au #college au #rich boy au #college!svt #seventeen kpop #seventeen fic

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xjamlessparkx · 5 years

Text

divorce | myg | 01

summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

“Mommy!” you heard your ten-year-old daughter yell and ran up to your room. The bed shifted as someone jumped on you. You groaned loudly while your daughter shook you awake.

“YAY NO SCHOOL!!” you heard your son yell out of joy. He was only two years younger than his sister. Your eyes widened and you looked at the time. Oh man! The bus will arrive in less than 20 minutes. You jumped out of bed, grabbing the two and dragging them into the bathroom. “Alright, you two will brush your teeth now. Ahran! Make sure your brother doesn’t create a mess. I want your teeth to shine brightly, alright?” you rattled off without pausing once. Spotting a small scrunchy, you grabbed it and tied your hair into a messy ponytail. As long as your hair wasn’t annoying everything would be fine.

You ran downstairs to prepare their bento boxes. You turned on the rice cooker and started to cut some vegetables and fruits for their lunch. It was a race with the time and you had to be really fast. You heard growls from upstairs and sighed when you heard a loud sound of something falling. You ran upstairs and could literally scream.

“What are you two doing?” you looked at the mess they created in the bathroom.

“Mom, Junsun is getting on my nerves, he splashed water on me…” Ahran mumbled, pouting in front of you. You shut your eyes, preventing yourself from yelling at them because of your lack of time.

“Come on guys 10 minutes!” you three ran into their room and you helped your little son change into his clothes while your daughter wanted to do it on her own. You brushed their hair and helped them to put on their jackets. The bus stop was in front of your house and you were happy when you made it in time. Just as you saw the bus, something popped up in your mind.

Their food.

“Oh no …” you turned around, leaving your kids at the bus stop to run into the kitchen. Grabbing the completed bento boxes to ran after the bus. The bus driver spotted you from his outside mirror and waited. You hoped into the bus, not caring that you were in bare pajama and didn’t even wash your own face. You thanked the bus driver while he nodded. Giving your kids their lunch you kissed their cheeks and hoped out of the bus, waving at them.

You smiled to yourself as you returned to your house.

Your husband Min Yoongi wasn’t home. He went to work earlier than usual even though it has already been more than a month that he left early and came home pretty late. Sometimes he would pick up your kids from school and other days they spent time together without you. You didn’t blame them, though. It was more important for your husband to spend more time with his kids than with you. You were an ordinary housewife. While the two were married you still worked hard, to help him earning money to lead your own household. Once you were pregnant he didn’t allow you to work. He wanted to be a good husband and father for your family.

Ahran was born and you two shared the happiest moments in your life. She completed you two. You two had many up and downs in your marriage and fought a lot, even while you were pregnant. After she was born everything changed to better. That’s what you thought actually. Ahran wasn’t even one year old and your old habits returned. You sometimes regretted your choice in marrying him so fast but you didn’t want to make any choices because now everything was different. Throwing away a marriage would be easier if both sides agreed and if there was no child. Just as you thought about letting go the doctor told you that you’re pregnant again. You saw it as a light in your empty and dark world. He would be the reason for you two to fight for your love and marriage. Junsun was the jewel of your house. Of course, kids should never be used as a pretext to save a marriage but you didn’t want your kids to feel lonely and have divorced parents at their young ages. Everything went well at first but you and Yoongi lived yourself apart. It was hard to not argue with him once you two were left alone. You were afraid that once your children will hear your arguments that is why you try to ignore the urge to talk back to him. You knew that it was hard to save your family but you wanted to fight for your children. You would sacrifice yourself for the sake and happiness of your children but you doubted Yoongi infighting as well. He already gave up and you knew it.

At home, you cleaned the mess in the bathroom first. Pulling a bandana over your forehead you started cleaning the whole house since you had nothing to do. Sometimes you would feel so bored but you knew that even your friends were working and had no time. Most of them weren’t married and the ones who are married don’t have children yet. As you were cleaning the kitchen you felt your vision getting blurry. It’s not the first time that you had dizziness. It’s been already a month that you suffered from headaches, dizziness, fatigue, and inefficiency. That’s also the reason why you have to rush every morning. You don’t feel good and powerful to wake up. You believed that it was the stress which you had to suffer from. At home, the kids and of course the issue with your husband. You bit your lip reaching for your phone. It felt like you would collapse any minute. You clicked on the caller ID of Yoongi who was probably working right now. He didn’t pick up your call and you ended it. You put your phone on the counter and grabbed a glass to drink cold water. It relaxed your senses and you sat down on the chair. You should eat something but you had no appetite. Sometimes you forced yourself to strengthen yourself Suddenly, your phone rang. You picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” you mumbled questioningly.

“Hey,” a female voice exclaimed and you looked at the caller ID which showed Yoongis.

“Excuse me … but do I know you?” you were pretty calm.

“No… no, you don’t but soon you will know. He was always so hesitant at telling you that’s why I decided to-” you cut her off, not being able to understand a word.

“Where is my husband?” you asked, wondering why a stranger called you.

“Ex-husband…” she corrected you and your mind went blank. You ended the call as soon as possible and stood up. Feeling your throat burning and your eyes filling with tears.

You threw your phone at the counter, letting it ring over and over again. You went upstairs to hop into the bath. Letting the hot water flow in the bathtub. You removed your clothes, feeling the cold breeze of air touching your bare skin. You lost an immense amount of weight but you blamed it on the stress which prevented you from eating. That’s why you had to force yourself to eat.

Everything was already so clear for you to be surprised by the situation. But it still hurt that your effort didn’t matter. It made you sad that he didn’t think about your kids as much as you thought about them and their feelings. The puzzle was complete now. Why he left early and came home late. It’s been already years that you two had shared your last physical contact. The last time you truly made love and felt the passion. After he went distant you waited for him to give in the divorce papers. It was needless to fight anymore because you lost all of your strength already.

It was sad that the last memories of you two would be nothing but hurtful.

You hoped into the bathtub and leaned back, putting your head on your neck. It felt refreshing. You always took your time to the bathroom and it was already getting a little darker outside. You showered and went into your room to change yourself. You had a towel wrapped around your body and pulled out some clothes.

“You showered?” you heard a deep and familiar voice asking. You turned around to look at Min Yoongi who wasn’t even looking at you. He was searching for something in the drawer. You nodded, knowing that he still saw you from the corner of his eyes.

“You’re early …” you mumbled putting on your clothes. Having a clue that he came early to confess because he probably found out about his new affair and wife sharing a conversation.

“I had to get something …” he mumbled and cleared his throat when you sat in front of your mirror to brush your hair.

“I believe there is more …” you said when the room filled with an awkward silence.

“Are the kids in school?” he looked around the room and you nodded. He scratched his neck and stared at the movements of your hands. He bit his lip.

“Y/N … it’s been already so many weeks and the cold ice between us still didn’t melt. I want you to know that I didn’t cheat on you-” you cut him off, feeling the hot tears filling your eyes.

“Yoongi … I only wonder how you think about starting a new relationship when even our relationship is shattering…” it hurt to see that someone you truly loved had no interest in you anymore.

“That’s not the same …” he started but again you cut him off. It was another habit of yours and you knew that you two would argue any minute soon.

“You didn’t even think about your own children Yoongi… You went after your own desire. I’m okay with you not loving me anymore because, to be honest, I am sick of fighting for someone who doesn’t even show slightly effort in saving our relationship. It’s already over Yoongi. It was over even before our kids …” you said, looking to the side.

“I am sorry Y/N…” you let out a sarcastic chuckle. It was the first time you heard him apologizing for something he had done.

“I don’t know what you feel sorry for. The fact that you already moved on, the fact that you want to leave your family behind? That you don’t care about the kids-” he cut you off, getting angrier.

“Oh stop it already! I love my children. They’re my everything and I would never let them go. It’s just that we both see that nothing works out for us and it is the best to end it before we two destroy ourselves. It’s for the best …” he said. The topic of him meeting a new girl was totally unnecessary for you because you cared about your kids more than your own happiness. You couldn’t even express any sad feelings towards him. It was anger which filled up your whole body but you maintained calm.

“So you wanna divorce?” you murmured. His silence was louder than a hundred words. So he gave up your family without even doubting himself.

“Alright,” you put the hairbrush on the table and stood up “Let’s divorce.”

#bts min yoongi #kpop angst #bts angst #min yoongi angst #suga scenario #bts scenarios #suga angst #kpoptexts #bts texts

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dreamganronpa · 5 years

Text

Flufftober Day Two - Rarepair

“The Game of Attention” - Celeste x Byakuya

This was actually based off a post from @oryginaldanganronpascenarios ! I thought the post was super cute so I used it as inspiration for this ^^

----

Celestia Ludenberg was never afraid to say what she wanted; which is why it was so easy for her to ask her classmate on a date. Unfortunately for her, he was not afraid to express his shock when she did it.

“You heard me, did you not?” she cooly asked. “Surely you haven’t forgotten about our little situation from the party already.” Her thin red lips formed somewhat of a pout as she took in the affluent progeny’s expressions. Astonishment turned to a thoughtful gaze then to an annoyed yet playful smirk. That was Byakuya’s most common face, as well as the one Celeste liked the most.

“Of course I remember. Although it’s surprising for you to initiate this after your performance- or lack thereof- at that very party.” His mocking tone perturbed Celeste for only a moment.

“Are you saying I was an inefficient date, then?”

“In the most literal sense of the word, yes. You could’ve at least tried to act like you were interested in me.” His words had a slightly higher tone and more annunciation, which Celeste had determined meant that he was being untruthful. What she couldn’t figure out though was the lie in his statement.

“How do you know I wasn’t acting the whole time? Perhaps it was all part of my plan to get myself in your line of sight, so to speak.” Celeste folded her fingers under her chin, in that cute way that made the tips of Byakuya’s ears go red.

Now he was off his game. “Fine, if you’re that desperate, I shall supply you with one more date. However, if you bore me again, you’ll never have another chance.” He kicked himself for agreeing to her date with only a little persuasion. He stuck out his hand, unable to go back on his word. “Well then, shall we see where this goes?”

“I suppose it’s a date.” Celeste agreed, shaking his hand.

“Very well. I will be at your house at 6:30 pm on Thursday. Dress- normally- for a change.” The emphasis on ‘normally’ made her heart sink a little. Was her normal attire not good enough? Her sadness turned into a petty anger.

“How will you find my residency without my address? Must not have thought of that, did you?” Each word fell off her tongue like a hornet, with the intention of stinging the blonde boy every time.

He only smirked again. “157 Holbrook avenue, correct?” Celeste’s surprised face ensured that he was right. “You must’ve forgotten that I have access to school records which includes addresses and other personal information. So, Taeko, does 6: 30 work for you?” He had found himself leaning over the table to her, now only inches apart from her pale face.

“It certainly does.” Celeste remained only a little bit angry, preferring to express her anger in private. For now though, she focused on staring into his crystal blue eyes..

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, and the end of this encounter.

During the rest of the day, even though it was a short meeting, Celeste could only think of the rich blonde. He had entranced her, with his intelligent words and intense stares, but every time they talked had to be some sort of game- except for the party. There, they talked like normal people, and Celeste even dropped some of her accent for him. She just wanted to spend more real time with him.

Tuesday passed by quickly, then Wednesday, and finally Thursday arrived. The only interactions Celeste had with Togami were glances passing through the halls, which annoyed Celeste. They had a date in a matter of hours and he pretended they were strangers. Although that was perfectly in-character for him.. Still, she huffed knowing that Byakuya would refuse to acknowledge her.

That night, Celeste tried to wear something less extravagant, as per Byakuya’s request. Most of her outfits were stiff and doll-like, but she found a cute black dress that was simpler than her usual ensemble but still reflected her style. She wore pink ribbons instead of white in order to match the accents on the dress, and switched our her enormous ball earrings for small music note ones. Her makeup stayed the same though, her red lipstick standing out against the pastels.

When a strong knock resounded throughout her apartment, Celeste felt unprepared. Maybe it was because Byakuya arrived a half-hour early without warning. Regardless, she happily let him in, but she was still confused and intended to get an answer.

“Is your watch broken? You should not be here for another twenty-six minutes..” Celeste questioned in the coy way she always did.

Byakuya snickered. “I discovered that the place to which I am bringing you is further away than I originally perceived. If you have a problem, however, I can certainly reschedule my evening without you.”

“Don’t bother, I am ready to leave now.” She started to walk past the man but turned on her heels to face him. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” She asked while sticking out her hand. There was no response from Byakuya, causing her to sigh. “A proper gentleman always kisses his lady on the hand before a date. You are a gentleman, aren’t you?” She smiled as her date took her hand and begrudgingly kissed it. At least she could still get what she wanted.

“My driver is waiting, come on.” Byakuya urged, opening the apartment door in order for them to leave. Celeste happily complied and they were in the long black car before the sun even began to set.

The driver pulled into the back of a quaint building, barely fitting into a parking spot. Byakuya hastily opened the car door for Celeste (he couldn’t risk being called un-gentlemanly in public where his image was affected), and they entered the shop. The sign out front read ‘Wakey-Wakey café’, and the inside was decorated with many pastels and lace patterns, very similar to the outfits Celeste wore other than the color scheme. It was mostly empty, allowing for them to get served immediately after sitting down.

“What a cute little café,” Celeste cooed. The instant she walked in, her mood had lifted. Byakuya felt it too, as he was less snarky already.

“Yes, I read many excellent reviews about it, which is why I brought you here. Is your tea sufficient?”

Celeste had forgotten about her royal milk tea already. She took a sip, expecting mediocre taste but it was just as good, no, better than anything she would have custom-made for her. Her face lit up at the surprising amount of quality.

In order not to blush, Byakuya in turn drank some of his coffee. It was sweeter than he preferred, but most cafés didn’t serve strong black coffee. He still couldn’t help but look at the genuine smile on his date’s face, and he wondered why he liked it so much.

Despite his ignorance, Byakuya did notice how he had put more attention on the gothic lolita. Out of all the girls in his class, she had been the one he invited to the party, which was no coincidence. But after the party, he had been thinking about her, and noticing more of her little details. Why though? Was he not satisfied with his enormous fortune? Did he truly need a woman in his life?

“Celestia, I have one thing to ask you. Why did you ask me on another date? Don’t lie to me.”

The girl was caught off-guard by the question, but quickly responded truthfully. “Hmm? I told you already. I wanted your attention; but it looks like I’ve already succeeded.”

She was right about stealing his attention, both her and him knew it. Byakuya knew how much he wanted to spend more time with her, even though he still wasn’t sure why. But he knew he had to capture her heart in return.

“Succeeded? Oh, it’s only just begun.”

#danganronpa #flufftober #Byakuya Togami #celestia ludenberg #celesgami #oneshot

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jacksgreysays · 4 years

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Incidental Equilibrium, 1/? (2020-06-18)

Incidental Equilibrium

In which Ringo is proactive, Zakuro is stubborn, and Tetsuki needs a little help with some legal matters.

The whole friendship thing? That kind of just happens.

(Or, the Counterpoise and Externality mashup that literally nobody asked for)

1) on the matter of becoming genin

It could have gone like this:

The Uzumaki twins attempt the Academy's graduation exam two years before their age mates. Naruto is ambitious, Konran is anxious, and neither of them get what they want.

That's because the Uzumaki twins do not pass the exam. They do not graduate:

She does. He doesn't.

Konran gets put on a team with two boys practically slated for the corps and a jounin who has to be literally dragged into the role of sensei. Ringo and Zakuro are known for not getting along with strangers, but this time they're willing to take the risk. Somehow, perhaps out of spite, the newly formed Team Five actually passes Riichi-sensei's ludicrous test and make him face the consequences.

They are, if not happy, then paving their way toward it.

Naruto gets sent back to the Academy, placed in the class who are slated to graduate next year. Nobody knows him, but they already don't like him--the rumors and Yanagi-sensei's cold demeanor the only information they have to work with. He meets Tetsuki who, even though kindness doesn't come naturally to her, takes a chance and helps him graduate.

They get put on a team with Komadori, a neutral classmate which is the best they can get really, under the command of a displeased Kakashi-sensei.

Like the formation of Team Two, their happiness, if it exists, is temporary.

Ringo and Zakuro help Konran find herself despite everything working against them all. Naruto and Tetsuki learn enough from each other before their divergent destinies tear them apart.

... But becoming genin is only the start.

---

It should have gone like this:

There are no Uzumaki twins. (Perhaps that night of the Kyuubi it was otherwise. Or perhaps a few years later, even, until an ambassador from Cloud saw an unprotected child with bright red hair. Or perhaps it was always as such.) Regardless, there is only Naruto.

Ambitious, he attempts the Academy's graduation exam two years before his age mates and fails.

Ringo and Zakuro, assigned a third teammate they're incapable of cooperating with, also fail their jounin sensei's test. They go to the corps as expected and must learn to become content.

Naruto is placed in Yanagi-sensei's class where nobody knows him or likes him. That stays true the entire year. When it comes time for the graduation exam, he fails again.

Maybe he would have passed with a little help from a classmate, even one ill-suited for kindness, but none take that chance. (And if Yanagi-sensei vaguely remembers a missing student, an orphan who held her own even against clan kids until her mysterious disappearance years ago, well. Orphans disappear in Konoha all the time.)

Naruto is placed in Iruka-sensei's class where destiny finally sinks its teeth into him and doesn't let him go.

Sometimes he's happy, he thinks. He must be.

---

But it actually went like this:

On a random morning a few months before graduation, Ringo's parents talk over breakfast about his future.

"Your cousin Suzuka is due for a promotion soon," Ringo's mom says while he blearily chews on egg and rice. He's not the best after just waking up, true, but he has time still before he needs to train the weakness out of himself.

"She could have an apprentice" she continues, as if he answered verbally. "I can ask her next time I'm on shift with her."

"Would be better than wasting time by going through the corps' prerequisite classes," his dad says, "Honestly, why they don't allow exemptions or testing out of those--so inefficient."

Ringo's dad is of the opinion that simply being part of the Nohara clan means they are naturally better at being medics than outsiders: as if medical knowledge and jutsu were akin to other clans' blood limits or secret techniques.

Maybe they're a little better at memorization and chakra control, but Ringo thinks his advantage has more to do with being raised by and amongst an entire clan of medics than anything he was born with--wait a second...

"Ask Suzuka what?" Ringo asks, belatedly, quickly shaking awareness into his head.

"Ask her to take you as an apprentice, of course," Ringo's mom answers easily, "I won't have you squandering your time in the Medic Corps or, heaven forbid, the Genin Corps."

Ringo blinks, uncomprehending. "I could end up on a jounin led team," he says, mildly.

His parents' response are less mild: his mom's light smile immedately twisting into a harsh frown, while his dad's hands clench into fists.

"No, no, no," his mom says, almost horrified at the idea.

"They'll try to put you on a team with That Man," his dad says, warningly. "It's what happened to your older cousins."

"They failed purposefully, of course. They know better than to trust their safety--much less their education!-- to That Man. But still," Ringo's mom closes her eyes, as if pained by the very thought, "Why the Hokage even tries to put a heartless creature like that in charge of young shinobi--and at the expense of our clan! Oh, no, Ringo, I couldn't lose you, too."

Then she reaches out for his hand, for comfort, and he tries to do his best.

Ringo's not stupid. He knows who That Man is: Comrade Killer Kakashi Hatake. Aunt Rin's murderer.

He doesn't think the Hokage would allow an actual psychopath to teach children, genin though they may be, so Kakashi Hatake can't still be a comrade killer. But he knows better than to bring it up in front of his parents.

It's not a battle he will win and honestly, not one he particularly wants to win. He doesn't want to be on a team lead by the man who killed his aunt--whether murder or manslaughter--and bore no consequences. If anything, and here his mom might have a point, the Hokage's continuous attempt to make a Nohara one of his students has prevented Ringo's cousins from following any career path but the Medic Corps or, apparently if the timing is right, an apprenticeship from another cousin.

But that's not what Ringo wants for himself. If he enters the Medic Corps, or apprentices under cousin Suzuka, then he won't be able to be on a team with Zakuro.

Maybe a compromise is in order.

...

On a random morning a few months before graduation, Zakuro tries to sneak out of the house only to be caught.

"Zakuro," says Uncle Shinku behind him, and Zakuro tries his best to hold in the annoyed sigh that desperately wants to escape. Last time he didn't, Uncle Shinku lectured him for thirty minutes about how disrespectful and ungrateful he was.

He turns around, "Yeah?"

Uncle Shinku glares. Well, that's just his default face, but it gets more glare-y. "Yes, Uncle," he says flatly, pointedly.

Zakuro holds in another annoyed sigh, "Yes, Uncle Shinku."

The man hums. Zakuro has no idea if that's approval or not.

"You will be graduating from the Academy soon," Uncle Shinku says, which is... true? Obvious? Not something Zakuro knows how to respond to.

He nods. "Yes, Uncle Shinku," he says, because maybe if he just repeats himself, the conversation (does this count?) will be over faster.

"I will not have you shaming us..."

Which is, wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

"Our arrangement with the Kurama clan still holds, for all that their heiress remains... reclusive. I will not have you embarrassing the Yuuhi clan," Uncle Shinku continues.

Great. Cool. This is why Zakuro needs to work on his stealth.

"When you join the Genin Corps, I will turn you into a shinobi worthy of our name, unlike your mother."

He sees an opening. "Thank you, Uncle," Zakuro says swiftly, bowing deep enough so as to hide his scowl. "I will go train so as to improve myself! Please excuse me!" Then, without waiting for a dismissal, Zakuro leaves.

If Uncle Shinku responds, he can't hear it. Not over the angry rush of blood pounding in his ears. He meets eyes with cousin Kurenai, her equally red eyes wide with a complicated mix of relief and guilt.

Why is she even here? She has an apartment. If Zakuro could live away from his asshole of an uncle, he would never set a single foot inside this house.

"Zakuro," she says, quietly, "I wanted to--"

Meanly, he interrupts with a loud, "Good morning cousin!" He spitefully enjoys the twist of annoyance on her face before bolting for the Academy.

It's early still but it's not here and that's all that matters.

If he's lucky, maybe Ringo will be there, too.

...

On a random morning a few months before the end of her fifth Academic year, Tetsuki sits alone in a room in T&I.

She's been here since yesterday afternoon, so by this point any adrenaline and fear have long since been replaced by bitter exhaustion.

And anyway, this is not her first time in T&I, so the novelty has worn off.

Although, at least, the room is nicer. Last time it really felt like an interrogation room: stark walls, hard chair, cold lighting. This time, they've put her in something almost comfortable. There's still an obvious viewing window, though it has a tasteful decorative frame, and she could almost fall asleep in the cushioned seat she's in.

Almost.

She hasn't slept since they brought her here and, ostensibly, she's alone right now. But still, she resists. She can sense at least two other people watching her from the observation room on the other side of that fake mirror--three, maybe. There's two distinct rectangles of body temperature metal standing about a meter apart. Forehead protectors, if she's interpreting it correctly, each with a matching pouch of kunai and assorted weaponry. And while she can't sense a third one, the door knob in that room opened and shut nearly thirty minutes ago with neither of the other two leaving.

So someone who doesn't carry metal on them, maybe? Unless it was just someone delivering a message... better to err on the side of caution.

She sits, exhausted eyes half-lidded, and waits for her fate to be decided.

Last time she was here, she thought no one would care if she disappeared. No one to miss her or notice--certainly no one to speak up if they did--just one of many Konoha orphans who mysteriously vanish.

This time, she knows it to be true.

She knows why she's here, this time around--or, at least, she can make an educated enough guess. Yesterday, Yanagi-sensei and Hinoura-sensei had distributed elemental chakra paper wearing nonconductive gloves. Gleefully, everyone in class grabbed at their papers, eager to find out their elemental nature in hopes that this would lead to lessons in ninjutsu.

Tetsuki didn't have particularly high hopes--such things hardly led to anything as exciting as her classmates would hope, probably just more lectures--but she certainly hadn't expected it to go this badly.

For the most part, everyone's paper reacted in an expected way. A lot of ash from the fire natured people, some crumbled to pieces or soaked through entirely--earth and water respectively. She thinks she saw one or two slice in half; wind natured, which is rare but highly appreciated in Land of Fire.

Hers crinkled.

She thought maybe that just meant she didn't have an elemental nature, there were some classmates whose papers did nothing--Neji Hyuuga for example, but everyone knows that Hyuuga chakra is weird--it wasn't too out there.

That was, perhaps, too optimistic.

Lightning natured chakra isn't unheard of Konoha. That alone would not have gotten her here, surely.

But that combined with her previous visit--where she was interrogated on whether or not she knew Cloud nin and if the light haired, dark skinned boy she used as her henge model was a real person that she knew--probably doesn't look that good.

Her paper crinkled, Yanagi-sensei dismissed everyone for lunch, and Hinoura-sensei brought shinobi wearing the T&I uniform to take her away.

They took her blood, put her in this room, had a sweetly smiling old lady ask her a bunch of questions, and then left her here.

The door to her room opens up. The person that enters is not someone she recognizes.

He's in his fifties maybe, quite old for a shinobi which he must be considering he's in this room and not a prisoner. She's not much of a danger to anyone, given she's only an Academy student, but they wouldn't bring a civilian in. Not that she would have a chance--for him to have survived to his age, he must be quite skilled.

He stares at her and says nothing, so she stays silent as well.

"You are Tetsuki, yes? Of the... Ryokushoku orphanage?" He asks almost hesitantly.

She doesn't know why, he clearly has access to her file. And it's not like a hesitant old man will get them any other answers than the sweetly smiling old lady did.

She nods in response.

"I'm Kunugi Mokume, conservator of the Utsugi clan holdings," he introduces himself. She nods again, because she doesn't know what else to say. "The Utsugi clan has been largely believed to be wiped out during the Night of the Kyuubi. Clearly, that is not the case," he says with a small smile.

She doesn't smile back.

Perhaps chagrined, perhaps not, Kunugi Mokume continues, "Unfortunately, we're under something of a quandary and a deadline on top of that: The decade of reservation is nearly up before the Utsugi clan holdings reverts to Konoha's possession. You are the sole heir but, unfortunately, due to your legal status as a minor your guardian would be the one to receive your inheritance."

Her guardian being the Ryokushoku orphanage, which just goes back to Konoha. Unless...

"Given the news of your possible inheritance, any applications for your adoption would be denied at this time. For your protection," he says.

Sure. Okay then.

"So I started with nothing and I will continue to have nothing," Tetsuki says with a nonchalant shrug.

Kunugi Mokume flinches. She doesn't know why. It's the truth. What is a clan name if there is no family to go with it? And anyway, she has long since abandoned the hope of having one.

"There is one possibility," he says, as if this were some kind of planning session and not just some stranger telling her nonsense after she's spent hours in Konoha's T&I, "If you become a legal adult before this October, you can inherit without any issue."

"Ah, of course. I'll just age a few years right now then," she snipes because she's tired and angry and something in her hates this man more than she's ever hated anything in her life for giving her this hollow, useless hope.

Weirdly enough, that makes Kunugi Mokume smile. "When you become a genin, you become a legal adult in the eyes of Konoha."

Tetsuki stares at him in confusion. "I'm only in my fifth year at the Academy," she says slowly, which, given how frequently her teachers have ratted her out to T&I as a potential spy is frankly a miracle.

He looks back at her, equally confused. "It's been a while since I've been at the Academy," he admits.

That's fair. He's old. And she knows during wartime the length of Academy schooling is shorter.

"I have another year before my class is up for graduation," she explains. "It won't be in time for this October." She doesn't know why she's bothering, this is all nonsense.

"Maybe your class won't be ready," he argues, "but you could be. If you take the upcoming graduation exam and pass..."

He doesn't need to say any more, but he does anyway. "You have nothing, right? So what do you have to lose?"

A/N: I saw this post and I don't know why my brain responded by immediately smashing together two (arguably three? if you include (In)difference) still incomplete concepts as a response but I guess I wanted it enough to write the above.

I may continue this? I don't know.

#jacksgreyson #writing #fanfiction #naruto #incidental equilibrium #externality #counterpoise #tetsuki kaiza #ringo nohara #zakuro yuuhi #konran uzumaki #naruto uzumaki #kakashi hatake #shinku yuuhi #kurenai yuuhi #kunugi mokume #kiyoshi utsugi #(in)difference #could should actually fic

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