#it’s my comfort space most evenings and i’ve been having so much fun writing this chapter

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

💌 hi everyone! i just wanted to apologise for the longer wait than usual for the next chapter of four walls. life’s thrown some pretty difficult stuff my way over the last few months, and i won’t pretend i haven’t been struggling. as always, writing has been a big solace for me, but it has been a bit of a slower process due to everything that’s been happening. that being said, chapter nine is very nearly ready now and i’m hoping to get it posted in a few days (it’s also somehow wound up being 15,000 words, so hopefully that’ll make up a little for the wait)! thank you so, so much to everyone who’s left comments/kudos/messages over the last couple of months, i truly can’t tell you how much it’s kept me going. i’m so excited to share the next chapter with you soon, things are about to get VERY interesting! 💌

[frvnkcastles]

Hiiii, can I request Imagine reader using herself as a human shield for frank when someone tries to take a cheap shot at him during a mission and after he makes sure there both out of harms way he flips out on her(Which he later regrets and apologizes for)

A HANDSHAKE WITH DEATH ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You save Frank from getting shot, and he isn’t happy.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, Frank is a little mean, feminine nicknames, a very very small reference to sex

Word count: 2k

Author’s note: This one was so much fun to write, I hope it’s to your liking!! Also, side note, thank you all so much for almost 800 followers <3 It makes me so happy that I’ve managed to create a safe space for so many of you! (Ps. that pic is one of my all-time favorite Frank shots, I can’t believe he looks so good covered in blood????)

Frank always protected you. He wouldn’t have hesitated to throw his own life on the line for your sake, and he had proven so countless times before — the man was already scarred, but in an attempt to keep you safe, he had endured endless pain and been on the receiving end of a knife or a gun more than you would have liked him to. But to him, it was non-negotiable, it was a given. He wasn’t willing to lose you or even see you get bruised, not on his watch, and it was something he didn’t make exceptions on.

To you, it felt like you owed him the same. He was always in dangerous situations, and more often than not, he was the target of the vicious people you faced, so you had an advantage in going unnoticed. You knew he really, really couldn’t handle another loss, but that didn’t mean you were any more open to the thought of losing him, either. So, if only you were able to do so, you were going to protect him, too.

It had taken some debating to get him to agree to let you help with his nightly activities, and you couldn’t blame him. You were willingly going to put yourself in harm’s way, but you felt like you could really contribute something valuable and help, with your knowledge of guns and your fair share of training in hand-to-hand combat. Still, even though you mentioned all this to him, he hadn’t been very open to the idea. It wasn’t until you insisted that you’d go with or without him that he cut his losses and agreed to take you as a teammate on missions.

And that was how you ended up in some shady warehouse that Frank had learned was going to be the grounds for trading illegal weapons.

You were crouched behind a shelf, trying to catch your breath and shake off the kick you had gotten on your ribs right before successfully hiding from the remaining goons. Frank had gunned down most of them, with you working as an effective distraction or temporarily incapacitating them with your fists. You were more than capable of using a gun, but you knew Frank liked to finish the job himself — even if he did secretly enjoy the sight of you taking charge a whole lot.

Another gunshot echoed through the building and you peeked around the corner, seeing Frank pressing his boot on the chest of his latest victim. The sight made you smile proudly, and when you deemed it safe to get up, you did exactly that and strode over to Frank who was breathing raggedly, blood staining his sharp features. He had never looked more handsome, and you couldn’t wait until you’d get home and unpack all the adrenaline together.

The one last armed man in the warehouse had a different plan for you. He came up from behind Frank, and you reacted quickly, jumping to shield him. ”Watch out!” you yelped, and Frank instantly turned to catch the man behind him, but not before the goon had already fired his gun. You managed to protect your boyfriend, the bullet scraping your arm and making you cry out, and as you bent over in pain, Frank shot the man right in the head. As he fell to his death, Frank grabbed you, holding you upright, eyes wide with concern.

”What were you thinking?” he fumed, frustration obvious in his voice. Before you could answer or he could reprimand you further, you heard sirens approaching the warehouse, so Frank put his anger on hold until you were both out of the cops’ sight.

He wrapped an arm around you and led you to his truck, clenching his jaw while you winced and whimpered. Blood was trickling down your arm and you felt a little nauseous — funnily enough, it was never any problem when Frank was covered in blood, but this was your first time getting shot and you didn’t know how to handle it.

From the looks of it, Frank didn’t know, either, constantly eyeing you but remaining completely silent as he started the car and drove you home. You felt the tension in the air, it was impossible not to, and you knew you were going to hear about the move you had pulled all night long. Still, you didn’t regret it in the slightest, painfully aware that the bullet could have hit Frank right in the chest if you hadn’t intervened.

When you arrived at home, Frank curtly gestured at the bathroom door. ”Gonna get you cleaned up”, he announced, short and to the point, and shrinking under his menacing frame, you trailed over to the bathroom and sat yourself on the toilet.

Frank dug out the first-aid kit while you struggled to get your shirt off, and once you were left in just your bra, his eyes didn’t even glance at your chest. His face was a blank slate, and it was making you so nervous.

Sighing, he examined the wound, licking his lips before pulling back. ”Gotta stitch you up. You’re lucky the bullet just grazed you”, he explained while taking out some thread and a needle, setting them aside so he could disinfect the wound first. When you hissed at the sting of the disinfectant, he just snorted.

”Earned it.”

With a loud scoff, you gave him a look. ”What did you expect me to do? I wasn’t gonna let you get shot. I’m not sorry about what I did. In fact, I’d do it again in a heartbeat”, you ranted, standing your ground defiantly. Maybe you were being a little stubborn about it, but to you, it had been a no-brainer. Just like he’d sacrifice himself for you, you’d do the same for him, any day of the week.

”It was stupid. I told you, I’m not messin’ around when it comes to your safety. You should never throw yourself in front of me like that. You better not pull shit like that again”, he gritted his teeth, avoiding your gaze as he started to stitch you up. The feeling of the needle piercing your skin got a weak sound from you, and you closed your eyes to avoid looking at Frank’s fingers expertly working the wound. Despite his frustration with you, he was being as gentle as he could, and it spoke in volumes about how he was really feeling — sure, on the outside, he seemed furious, but on the inside, he was just scared.

”So, I should have just let you die?” you retorted, and sucking in a sharp breath, Frank narrowed his eyes, a sign of concentration but annoyance, all the same.

”You dunno that I woulda died. Regardless, it ain’t somethin’ I want you to do for me. Rather me than you”, he insisted, and opening your eyes, you directed him the most disbelieving stare you could muster.

”You have to be joking. So, you refuse to watch me get hurt, but I have to tolerate you dying? That’s not fair”, you argued, trying to catch his gaze, but he wouldn’t meet you halfway. Instead, he was laser-focused on your shoulder, his thick fingers coated in blood as he did the stitches as thoroughly as he could.

You attempted to add something, but he didn’t let you. Instead, finished with the stitches, he tossed the bloody needle into the kit and stood up, huffing and puffing. ”You ain’t hearin’ me. I’m not debatin’ this. Either you promise to never do somethin’ like that again or I ain’t takin’ you with me next time”, he stated sharply, demanding and solemn as he finally looked at you. It was only for a fleeting moment, though, and he quickly turned on his heel and stomped out of the bathroom.

With your mouth hanging open, you listened to him storm out the front door and slam it shut behind him. The sound made you flinch, and with your lip wobbling, you looked down at your shoulder and shivered when your tears fell on the stained skin. Left alone, you cried quietly, your arm aching and your heart even more so.

It was getting late, and you didn’t think waiting up for Frank was a good idea. When you got in your bed, though, sleep refused to come. You couldn’t help but wonder where he was and when he’d come back, anxiety and regret brewing inside you — not regret for getting shot on his behalf, but regret for not hearing him out. You tossed and turned, restless and uneasy, and you knew it was a problem only he could solve.

The clock on your bedside table read 3:30 when the front door opened again, and you burrowed deeper into the mattress, the covers pulled all the way up to your ears. You were happy he was home, but it didn’t mean you were going to roll over and beg for forgiveness. Instead, you laid on your side, listening intently as he left his boots by the door, washed his hands in the bathroom and then came to the bedroom to undress.

You couldn’t deny the surge of love that kicked you in the chest when the bed dipped behind you and his scent infiltrated your senses. Carefully, he snuck an arm around your waist, and before you knew it, his lips were right by your ear and his hot breath lingering down your neck.

”Sweetheart…”, he started, sending a shiver down your spine. His voice was low, so low, and the impact it had on you was immediate. ”I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you. I talked to Curtis and… he made me realize I need to do some grovelin’ right now”, he went on, and even though you kept your back turned to him, you couldn’t help but break into a smile.

”I just wanted to protect you”, you whispered, and sighing, Frank dropped his forehead to your exposed back.

”I know, sweet girl. You did real good. Just scared the shit outta me, y’know?” he grumbled, the nervousness audible in his voice. Finally, you rolled onto your back, facing him in the darkness, the moon outside illuminating his face and the cuts he had received during the fight at the warehouse. With a tender touch, you reached for his cheek, caressing it and frowning as you processed his words.

”I didn’t mean to scare you. But you can’t expect me to stand aside while people hurt you”, you pointed out, and with a defeated look, he nodded.

”I dunno how to do this, sweetheart. I trust you, I do, but I—I’m so fuckin’ scared of losin’ you. It’d be the final nail in my coffin. I need you safe and it drives me crazy when you don’t feel the same way about yourself”, he elaborated, his eyebrows knitted together and gaze cast down as he shared. ”I know you’re just tryin’ to help, so I shoulda been nicer about it”, he admitted, earning a small smile from you.

”Yeah, you should have”, you agreed before pulling him down for a kiss, your lips locking together passionately, all the pent-up worry and fear channeled into it. He cared about you so deeply, and with that kiss, he tried to let you know, his large hand coming to your cheek to hold you close as he kissed the air out of your lungs.

”Just… promise me you’ll try to be more careful, yeah?” Frank pleaded after breaking the contact, and slowly, you nodded.

”I’ll try”, you gave in, and in an instant, Frank smiled — a sight you would have promised anything for. You knew he just wanted to keep you safe, that it was coming from a place of love, but you weren’t quite sure he knew just how much you loved him, in return.

”How’s your shoulder?” Frank asked then, settling down on the bed and propping himself up on his elbow to watch you closely.

You rolled onto your stomach and jutted your injured shoulder out toward him. ”I think you should kiss it better”, you theorized with a contemplative tone, and in response, Frank laughed out loud.

”You got it, baby.”

[purple-plum-petals]

⊱ You Can Do Better Than Me ⊰ || Boothill X Reader

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮        Character(s): Boothill (Honkai: Star Rail)        Reader Type: Human, Not the Trailblazer (Gender-Neutral Pronouns)        Warning(s): Break-up (Miscommunication/Assumptions… Not Permanent), Negative Body Image/Self-talk (Regarding Boothill), Use of Petnames (Boothill calls Reader “darlin’” and “sweets” and Reader calls Boothill “honey” and “love”), Slightly Suggestive Ending.        Genre: Drabble, Angst, Fluff (Hurt/Comfort), Pre-Established Romantic Relationship        Word Count: ~2500 words       Prompt: “What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?”        Author’s Note: Hello everyone, I come back to you briefly with a random Boothill drabble because this cowboy has been on my brain for the past three months and I needed to get something written for him ASAP. I actually got both him and his lightcone on release day, so I’m still hyped about that (didn’t even need to break my F2P status either hehehe 😎). I will get around to writing a multi-chapter fic for him as soon as my summer semester is over and all of the current requests in the ask box have been answered. I’ve been managing the workload relatively well so far, but it’s genuinely been so overwhelming in terms of content/information that my brain can barely form coherent sentences after class and work. 😭 Anyways, have some self-conscious Boothill and my beloved hurt/comfort. Maybe instead of saving the horse, we should save the cowboy. Also… let me know if anyone is interested in a part two, and I’ll be happy to write it. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)             Tag-List: @anonima-2 – I know you wanted me to tag you if I got around to writing a Boothill X Reader fic, so here it is! It may not be a multi-chapter one, but I hope you enjoy this little drabble.

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡ ╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You had known Boothill for quite some time now. You had crossed paths with the elusive Galaxy Ranger throughout the years, so many times that you eventually lost count. Three times was uncommon, five times was rare, but over twenty times? That was absolutely unheard of given the vast expanse of space. It got to the point where you both noticed how frequently you would meet, the two of you making jokes that the universe was pushing you together.

Boothill had thought for a while you were sent to capture and/or kill him by the IPC but, after a particularly intense “discussion” (where he proceeded to hold you at gunpoint, as he frequently did with most people), you were able to confirm that all of the times you two had met were indeed just an exceedingly rare coincidence. It was something you would occasionally bring up to tease him about nowadays, poking fun at the fact he had literally held his future partner at gunpoint. It was a memorable event to reminisce on when asked by others ‘how did you two meet?’.

Years had passed since that unforgettable interaction, and both you and Boothill were happy and content in your current relationship. All of that time together with him had given you insight into how the cowboy typically behaved. He could be brash and rush into trouble head-first, but he was also immensely intelligent and could think of a plan on the fly to get himself out of even the stickiest situations. He was the type of person who frequently spoke his mind, not allowing his tampered-with Synesthesia Beacon to completely censor what he wanted to say… which is why you were as worried as you were lately.

Your boyfriend hadn’t been as talkative as he usually was. He had returned from a three-month-long trek around the galaxy a few days ago, and he had been distant ever since he came back. His replies had been clipped, and he had a strange look in his eye whenever he glanced your way; he hadn’t even looked at you for more than a few seconds since his return.

Tentatively, you made your way over to where he was sitting by an open window in your home, the breeze gently blowing the strands of his black-and-white hair to and fro. You stepped closer to stand next to him as you asked, voice tender as you spoke, “Boothill, honey, what’s wrong? You’ve been more reserved than usual these past few days, and I just want to check to see if you’re ok–…”

Then, he spoke, his voice firm as he cut off the rest of what you were going to say, “…I wanna break up.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach at his words, and you felt your palms begin to clam up with sweat as you whispered, “W… What?” You swallowed harshly, stepping closer to him as you asked, double-checking to see if you had heard him correctly, “What did you just say?”

“I said I wanna break up.” He says once more, voice rough as he turns his head ever-so-slightly to watch you from his peripheral. It felt like the world had stopped moving when he confirmed what you had always hoped you would never have to hear, and you feel your eyes begin to water. He finally, after so many days, looks at you directly after what has felt like eons. Whatever expression was on your face caused him to flinch before he looked away once more, staring at his hat on the nearby table.

Boothill sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he continues to speak, his voice gentler than usual as he tells you, “I don’t think this,” He pauses, taking his hand and gesturing toward himself before finishing his thought, “…is good fer you.”

Your emotions were fluctuating so quickly that your mind didn’t know what to do with all of them. First, you were worried about your boyfriend, then you were heartbroken when he said he wanted you two to go your separate ways, and now? Now you were angry, a sudden burst of frustration filling your veins at his reasoning behind wanting to end your relationship. Your heart aches as you exclaim, trying not to pay attention to the wetness forming along your lashes, “Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?”

Boothill is back to refusing to look at you, so you try to move into his line of sight as you ask, your hands flailing about as you speak in a desperation-laced tone, “What, exactly, isn’t ‘good for me’ Boothill?”

He turns his head to look at you, standing up from where he had been sitting as he holds his hands out, trying to placate you as he says hastily, “Listen don’t – don’t get the wrong idea, alright?”

“How can I not get the wrong idea when you suddenly tell me you want to end our relationship!?” You yell back, feeling the tears begin to trickle down your cheeks. You were angry, sure, but the soul-crushing feeling of separating from the man you loved so deeply pierced your heart like a knife. Your frustration quickly began to be tainted with sorrow, your voice coming out softly as you ask him, your mind desperate for some kind of answer as you place a hand on your chest, “Did I… Did I do something for you to come to this decision?”

Panic floods his expression immediately as he reaches out, his hands resting on your shoulders as he leans down to look at your face. He quickly tells you, one of his hands coming up to gently cup your cheek as his thumb brushes away your tears, “No, no, no, no – you didn’t do anythin’, darlin’. You’ve been perfect in every way, I just…”

He pauses, gaze traveling to the ground as he thinks of what to say. His cold, metallic fingers against your skin are comforting to you in a way you couldn’t describe – comforting in a way no one else would be able to understand. Boothill’s eyes meet with yours once more as he continues speaking with a bittersweet smile, “You could do so much better than me, sweets. I don’t want to hold you back.”

The anger you had felt was suddenly back in full force as you asked him, brows furrowed as you questioned, “How?”

Your hands come up to hold onto his, the one that was still lovingly cupping your face as you ask, leaning forward toward him as you speak, “How could I do better than you? What are you holding me back from?”

Boothill shakes his head, saying with a frown, “There’s so many things I can’t give you… I can’t give ya a peaceful life, I can’t give ya a family…” His voice cracks slightly at the word, but he continues to speak as he begins to pull his hand away from your face, “You deserve someone who’s around more often – someone who can be there for ya whenever you need ‘em.”

Boothill chuckles bitterly, removing his hand from your grasp as walks over to grab his hat off of the nearby table, and you’ve never felt so cold and empty in your entire life. You watch helplessly as he places the hat on his head, staring as he begins to make his way toward the front door as he tells you, “You deserve someone who doesn’t cause you to jump every time their freezin’ cold hands touch ya – someone who can actually feel ya.”

You step toward him, reaching out to take his hand in yours and effectively stopping him in his tracks as you say firmly, “Boothill, shut the fuck up. Aren’t you going to at least ask me what I think about this?”

Boothill sighs, turning back around to look at you as he speaks. He doesn’t do anything to remove his hand from your grasp, instead gently squeezing it in a comforting manner as he tells you, “Listen, sweets, I just think it’s for the better that–…”

“No, it’s not.” You say, your voice strong despite the tears that had begun to flow down your face. You look up at him, bringing his hand to place on your chest as you tightly hold it over your heart, telling him firmly and genuinely despite the way your voice cracks, “I don’t care if you can’t give me those things. When did I even say that’s what I wanted in life?”

“Why wouldn’t you want that?” Boothill asks, looking down at you as if you had grown a second head, as if everything he said he couldn’t give you was something that everyone would want. He looks conflicted as he tells you, trying to take his hand back as he steps away from you and closer to the front door, “You deserve to be happy – you deserve to have someone who’s there for you.”

“What if all I want is you, huh?” You tell him, refusing to let go of his hand – refusing to let him leave your life in such a way. Your hold on Boothill’s hand was tight because you knew, deep down, if you let his hand slide out of yours, you’d never see him again. You look up at him as you speak, a spark of determination in your eyes which causes Boothill’s cheeks to flush a light shade of blue, “No one else can give me you. You’re the one that makes me happy – not some dream life, not some perfect family – just you.”

“You don’t want me, darlin’ – I promise, once I’m gone, you’ll move on an’ another lucky fella will have the honor of being able to love ya.” Boothill tells you with furrowed brows and a smile, his sharp teeth peeking out from behind his lips as he tries to convince you he’s not what you want. You could feel your eyebrow twitch in frustration at his words, your tears slowing down as you refute his claim.

“What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” You ask him, a tinge of hurt and frustration mixed in your voice as you reach out to firmly hold both of his hands in your own. Boothill allows you to do so with no fanfare, a conflicted expression on his face; his fingers twitch in your hold. He watches as you close your eyes and take a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before once again looking at him as you whisper, “Listen, if you want to leave, I’m not going to stop you or hold you back, but…” You pause, smiling warmly at him before continuing, “but I want you. I want to be with you, not this hypothetical ‘fella’ you’ve envisioned who would give me a perfect life.”

Before Boothill could open his mouth to try and argue again, you quickly add on as you bring one of his hands to your lips, pressing a light kiss to his digits as you tell him, “I don’t care that you’re cold to the touch – I don’t care that we won’t have a picture-perfect life together…” You feel the tears beginning to form on your lashes again as you run your thumbs along his knuckles, telling him sincerely, “I’ve never imagined a future without you in it, love.”

Boothill looks down at you, his expression a clash between his adoration for you and the heaviness of the situation. He shakes his head, bringing one of your hands to his lips as he presses a kiss to the back of it as he tells you, voice uncharacteristically quiet as he admits, “I… I don’t want to leave, sweets. I just…” He hesitates as he makes eye contact with you, raising a brow as he once again gestures to himself as he asks, “Are you sure this is what ya want?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life,” You tell him, letting go of his hands as you instead wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you as your bodies press against one another. His arms wrap around your waist on instinct, pulling you close to him as you press your foreheads together. You stare into his eyes and bring a hand to his cheek, placing your palm against his face as you run your thumb along the skin under his eye. He leans into your touch, turning his head to kiss your palm as you tell him with a smile, “Rain or shine, good or bad… I want to be beside you throughout it all.”

“Heh, well… I’m glad I get to be by yer side.” Boothill says, opening his eyes once more to look at you. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your temple as he whispers, almost as if he didn’t want the world to hear him – to keep this tender moment a secret between the two of you, “…Thank you for choosin’ me out of the rest of the blokes in the galaxy, darlin’. I’m a real lucky guy to have someone as wonderful as you.”

“I’d choose you in every universe, Boothill. That’s a promise.” You reply with a smile, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, almost as if you were teasing him.

He smirks at both your words and your actions, saying with a raised brow as he leans back, tilting his hat up with one finger as he speaks, “That’s quite a big promise there, darlin’. Sure you can keep it?”

“Oh, I’m sure.” You reply, matching his expression as you huff, “Don’t doubt me, cowboy.”

“I won’t, I won’t…” Boothill says with a chuckle. He pauses, his smile faltering slightly as he looks down at you. Your eyes were still slightly red, and the stains your tears had left on your cheeks were still present. He pulls you closer to him, nuzzling his face into your neck as he takes a deep breath in, muttering against your skin, “Aeons, I love ya… I love ya so fudgin’ much.”

“I love you, too, honey.” You reply softly, running your hand up and down his back when an idea pops into your mind. It was a mischievous one, and the mere thought of it causes a smirk to grow on your lips. You reach up and grab the hat from his head as you instead place it on yours, asking him flirtatiously, “Why don’t I show you just how much I love you?”

“Well… I certainly like the sound of that.” Boothill replies lowly, his eyes half-lidded as he gently caresses your face, smirking at his hat now resting atop your head. He leans down and kisses you, whispering against your lips in a sultry tone, “Plus, I’d like to apologize for makin’ you cry… Can I, darlin’?”

The tone of his voice was enough to make your heart start beating faster, and you could feel your cheeks begin to warm as you replied quickly with a simple, “Please do.”

[writingquestionsanswered]

Outlining has always been a major issue for me. I don't have any idea how to do it properly. It bores me and most of the time I quit halfway. I also don't find any of the outlining methods on the Internet enjoyable. Any tips?

Outlining Isn't Enjoyable

Here are a bunch of things to consider...

1 - "Outlining" Just Means "Planning" - I'm not sure what outlining methods you've seen on the internet, but the truth is, as far as writing goes, outlining really just means "planning." And if you want to plan your story in advance, you can do that via whatever means works for you. Beginning to end written summary, verbal summary in audio notes app, mind map, timeline, scene cards, scene list, chapter summaries, scene summaries, mood boards, academic outline, story structure map, method template, playlist... you could outline your story through interpretive dance if that's what works for you.

2 - Outlining Isn't a Requirement - Like pretty much anything related to process, outlining isn't a requirement. Outlines are mostly done by so-called "planners" who prefer to flesh things out before they start writing. Many writers consider themselves "pantsers" in that they like to "write by the seat of their pants" or "wing it." These writers like to let the story develop organically, as they write. They understand their first draft might be extra messy, but they know it can be cleaned up and refined in the second draft.

3 - Outlining Isn't Really Meant to be "Fun" - If you're a writer who needs to plan your story in advance, and so you need an outline of some sort before you start writing, please know that for the most part, the majority of us aren't always approaching the outlining process with glee in our hearts and ticker tape falling from the sky. I mean, outlining can be fun, but a lot of the time it's just work. It's just something that some of us have to do before we start writing, and it's not particularly grueling or mind numbing work, it's just not the most fun thing we could be doing in that moment.

4 - Is the Problem with Your Story? - If you're a writer who needs to outline your story, but you find yourself bored to ears when you outline--to the extent that you can't even finish your outline--it is worth taking a step back to consider whether the problem isn't with outlining but your story. No matter how excited you might be about elements of your story, if you're boring yourself to tears while planning it or writing it, that may be a sign that something's not working. In other words, if you're bored planning the story, there's a good chance the reader will be bored reading it.

5 - Is the Problem Something Else? - If you're a writer who needs to outline your story, and you're really excited about your story and feel that it all works very well, but you're still getting bored and frustrated with the outlining process, then something else is going on. Things to consider: are you well rested and feeling well when you sit down to outline? Are you nourished and hydrated? Do you feel like you're in a pretty good headspace? Are you in a reasonably comfortable space that's relatively free from distraction? Are there other things competing for your attention? (Social media, texts, friends hanging out in the other room, someplace else you'd rather be, something else you'd rather be doing?) Are there other important tasks you're putting off that need to be done? Is there anything about the story that is difficult for you emotionally right now? Sometimes it's just a matter of trouble-shooting what's going on in your life, your space, and your body/mind before you start working on your outline.

I hope something here clicks with you!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[greyyson-but-no]

lego flowers for you, dear

genre | pure fluff. cheesy, even.

warnings | kissing, uhhh. that's it. i think. fake arguing, i guess? like, half edited, no use of y/n, they/them as far as im concerned, lower case on purpose

pairing | tommyinnit x reader (you pov)

word count | about 1.3K

a/n | this had so many drafts, at one point they went to see hamilton but that's gonna be a different fic now otherwise it would be too long. i have a feeling this might not be very "tommy" cause i was struggling see him while writing but i did my best. have fun reading :)

you and tom had fallen asleep last night quite late, giggling and smiling together as usual, looking forward to the following day. your one year anniversary.

if you were being honest, you didn’t know how you had managed to keep a relationship for one year, especially with someone as hyper and chaotic as tommy. in the beginning of dating him, you had been hesitant since you hadn’ been able to handle relationships before, but also confused, because with tom, you didn’t get burnt out. you were okay with being affectionate and cheesy around him, which had never happened before. you had never felt more comfortable around anyone. which, you believe, was the reason you had managed to put up a year with him.

‘put up’ being used very loosely. you wanted nothing more than to spend all your time with him. in no way did you ‘put up’ with tommy.

when you woke up in the morning, you rolled over, wanting to cuddle with tom for a little before getting up, only to find empty space.

okay, that’s odd. tom was very much not a morning person, especially not on a day like today.

you slid out of bed, grabbing one of tom’s hoodies that was hung on the back of a chair, pulling it over you from the slight autumn chill, making your way into the kitchen, just to see if he was there. which he was. standing over the hob with two of the flat pans, pancake batter poured into them. he had the speaker on, playing his khai dreams playlist, and he moved around the kitchen while softly singing along.

“tom?”

“morning, lovely.” he spoke, your stomach curling at the sound of his morning voice, which had not yet worn off.

“tom, since when could you make pancakes?” you asked, spotting the small pile of them on a different plate placed on the island countertop. none of them were burnt. none of them had holes or were broken. they looked perfect.

tom smiled. “i’ve always been able to. mum taught me ages ago.”

you fell onto your hip, crossing your arms over your chest. “so why am i always the one that makes them?”

“so when i make them, it’s special.” he grins, leaning over and pressing a kiss on your cheek before running off to put the now cooked pancake on the plate along with the others.

you gasped, watching as he failed to hide the large smile on his face, eyes wide. “cheek!”

“most of them are done, you can help yourself.” he spoke, concentrating on the final one.

but you shook your head. “no it’s fine, i’ll wait for you.”

“what a sweetheart.” he joked, not having to even look up at you to see the smile curved into your lips. and after a second of comfortable silence, he stood up straight, coming over to you, pulling you in for a kiss filled to the brim, overflowing, even, with love. the pure adoration you had for each other. once the two of you pulled away, he smiled, resting his forehead against yours. “and happy anniversary, darling.”

“happy anniversary, pretty boy.”

the two of you ate breakfast together like usual, random conversations about random things, catching up on news and ending up with the tv playing quietly in the background. it was nice. it was quiet, which was rare with tom and his job. it was perfect, really.

after breakfast, you convinced tom to come back to bed for a few cuddles. just lengthening the quiet time you had before he took you out for whatever he was planning. for about half an hour or so, the two of you spent time together in bed, under the covers just tangled in each other, not necessarily needing to talk, just small murmurs to each other every now and again. it often took tom a while to calm down, unless he was burnt out, but that morning he managed it perfectly, being calm and relaxed around you, shutting down together while you recharged for the day ahead. tom said he apparently had a lot planned.

most of the day had been spent doing all your favourite things. you taught him more guitar, giggling as he struggled some of the harder chords now that he was getting to that point. you were in the middle of teaching him ‘charlie boy’ by the lumineers, which he was really eager to learn, since it was one of your favourite songs. overall, it was going pretty well, and it was still mostly enjoyable. the two of you had a good time, and tom really did love playing guitar, even if he sometimes struggles to keep up or have precision.

he, in turn, had taken you into the office and forced you to play some minecraft (forced being used very loosely. you actually loved playing it but shush). he had taken you onto the server and shown you around, cackling in proudness as you hit an mlg perfectly. it was only then when you revealed you played minecraft a ton as a kid, you just hid it from him. at first, he was jokingly annoyed, but quickly got over it when he realised he could now bring you into more videos, if you were comfortable with it, of course.

you had gone to one of the more expensive cafes in the centre of brighton, you getting slightly annoyed when he refused to let you pay, knowing he would do the same when he took you out for dinner tonight. but he promised he would let you pay for ice cream afterwards, and even if it wasn’t the same, you knew it would be the best deal you could get.

as well as that, you both accidently bumped into james and wilbur while walking around the park. you’d stuck around for a bit talking to them but then tom had dragged you away, ready to go back home. tom had said you didn’t have time to get into a deep conversation with wilbur and james, pulling you away as you promised to meet up with the two of them at a later date for coffee or something.

back home, tom made you go into the living room bringing out your gift a second later. you squinted at him as you opened it, mumbling under your breath, “we said we weren’t going to do gifts.”

“it’s only small.” he excused, laughing slightly under his breath as you rolled your eyes, unwrapping it.

it was a lego flower.

a lego rose, unassembled, which meant that he wanted to build it with you. a small smile curved into your lips as you looked up at him grinning. “how did you know?”

“know what?” he asked, eyeing you suspiciously.

without saying another word, you reached behind the sofa and pulled out your gift, chucking it at him. it rattled as he caught it, and he laughed, immediately knowing what it was. he ripped the wrapping paper apart and smiling at the lego yellow tulip that was sprawled across the front of the box.

he looked up at you, a loving look in those gorgeous blue eyes. “we said we weren’t doing presents.”

“shut up.” you shook your head, leaping across the small gap between you and tom, closing it as you pulled him into a hug with such vigour that it pushed the two of you onto the floor. “i love you.”

“love you too, lovely." he spoke, smiling. "cmon, lets build them." and you push yourself off of him, pulling him up with you, ending up just in front him as you passed him the yellow tulip box.

after a few minutes of silence, you got up and grabbed the speaker from upstairs, connecting it to your phone and putting on your shared playlist. it consisted of a lot, including lovejoy, mac miller, khai dreams and a few other of your favourite artists, like the lumineers and many others. it was the perfect playlist for this, just chilling together while building each others presents.

just under half an hour later, you hold the red flower out, examining it and smiling, seeing tom behind it, just finishing as well. you took his hand as you hand him your flower.

"give me one second, i've got the perfect thing to put this in."

and you squeezed his hand lightly behind standing up and leaving the room. you came back a few seconds later with a small pot that had been sitting on your desk without a use for the past few months. tom handed you both flowers as you put each one in. they sat perfectly in the small pot, and tom stood up as you made your way to the windowsill, sitting them on the rim along the bottom. they fit perfectly in the spot, along with the other small, real plants that were scattered along the windowsill.

tom came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and settling his chin on your shoulder. "perfect."

"i know!" you laughed, leaning your head back so you could look up at him, which didn't quite work out as he leaned to the right to leave a soft kiss against your cheek. you giggled slightly at his actions, relaxing further into him as you looked out the window together.

but suddenly he was gone, spinning you around and taking your hand in his. "now come on! dinner reservations are soon, and you've got to get ready! we need to be out of the house by half six."

"we going fancy or casual?" you asked, holding his hand tightly, smiling up at the man you loved so dearly.

he shrugged. "somewhere inbetween. honestly, it doesn't really matter, it's not a 'we'll throw you out if you're not dressed black tie' but it's not casual. find something that works for that."

"very helpful." you grinned, leaning up to kiss him softly, feeling his hands on your waist as they squeezed softly.

it wasn't over yet, but this was already the best day you'd ever had. you didn't think anything could ever stop you from loving that man, and you don't expect tom would ever do anything to even threaten that. you'd never felt so much love for one person, and you were sure that he felt the exact same way towards you. life couldn't have been better.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

2 🩷 11 🧡 15 💛 26 for any fic you want 🤎

I'm going to go with CYOA on this, just because it's the most recent thing I've updated, and therefore fresh in my mind.

How did you come up with the idea?

Thanks to you lot! I love choose your own adventure games and I really liked the idea of challenging myself to go into a story with absolutely nothing concrete planned and make it all up as I went along, as well as asking my readers to contribute fun details. So I posted a bunch of polls on Tumblr and it was my lovely followers who ultimately decided that Lily and James had never met in person and that Lily worked for James’s mother. I had no ending in mind at all, no idea that Lily was going to wind up living in James’s house, hadn’t dreamed up Skylar yet... and yet I think it truly is my favourite fic out of everything I’ve written now. Who knew that when I asked you guys to decide Remus’s job that it would wind up having such a huge impact on the overall story? Not me, and likely not you until just now.

What was the most challenging aspect of writing it?

Honestly, aside from one or two James chapters (oh, James, you little troublemaker you) that fought me a bit, there haven’t been any challenges? The whole process has been an out-and-out pleasure.

Talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those

Again, a lot of it just arose as the story went on. What I really love about this fic is that, because it takes place on a day-by-day basis, writing it feels very much like the progression of real life, and the sheer length of it has given me room to poke into details that I always knew about the characters but never had space or time to give words to. Like Lily, for example, always likes to be seen as unerringly infallible, but why is that? What made her that way? How does Petunia factor into that? Her parents? Her ex? Petunia was jealous of Lily in canon for being a witch so how do I translate that into a modern AU? What if I had the time and the space and the freedom to write Petunia as a person, rather than as (one of my favourite terms that I use a lot) a cartoon villain? Maybe Lily’s not always a great sister either? So everything has pretty much progressed in that way. Not just for Lily, but for James too. In his friend group he is the leader, but something I learned whilst writing this fic is that I make him pretty passive with other people, particularly his mother. So then I decided to explore that. I’m discovering things about them in real time, and that’s so fun. I know this is a romance fic, but for me it also feels like a story, on the most basic level, about being human.

Share your favorite detail

Gosh, there are a lot. Here’s one, though: I’m still really pleased with myself for coming up with Lily’s odd little kink for being scared by bad dreams or scary movies. I’ve no idea where it came from; it was really one of those moments where it felt like she had sprung into existence and demanded that I write it for her. It’s so weird, but somehow very her? I think it’s really cute that what it ultimately stems from is a desire for comfort at a moment when she’s feeling frightened or anxious but also logically knows that she’s not in any danger. So I find it pretty heart-warming. Even though it’s really bloody strange.

Fic Asks!

[thenightfolknetwork]

Shortly after my 7th untimely demise, I came into a bit of money, and decided to spend it on a small 19th-century estate. It’s a gorgeous house, complete with turrets and everything. The turrets were, ah, fully collapsed when I first arrived, and the rest of the house wasn’t in much better shape, but I knew it was a fixer-upper and was confident I could handle it. And I was right! There were certainly some surprises along the way, but a few months ago, I was finally able to start moving in.

As often happens with these sorts of properties, there were some pre-existing tenants that weren’t listed on the contract. My bedroom has an enchanted mirror permanently bound to the wall, the stables house twin 11-year-old ghosts, the kitchen has a automatically-refilling bowl of perpetually fresh apples, and the library fireplace foretells visions of doom—not to mention Stain, the black cat (…I’m pretty sure she’s just a regular cat, but she’s still very much a figure of the property).

It’s. So. Much fun. I was worried I’d get lonely! But now, I can get ready for the day while having a lovely chat with the mirror, snag an apple from the kitchen, go read a book in the library and tell the fireplace that they’re looking particularly unnerving this afternoon, and then chop vegetables for dinner while supervising the kids’ potion-making—I usually don’t care for children, but these two are delightfully precocious, and it’s been a while since I’ve had apprentices. And Stain—she’s wrapped around my shoulders while I write this—she looks like she got hit by a car! She’s adorable.

We all have our spats, but the estate is big enough for us to have our own spaces, and we’re all doing our best to ~communicate~, as you like to say. It’s going swimmingly. Except.

Like most old properties, the house has collected a fair amount of dust over time. In this case, though, all those dust bunnies turned… sentient. Overall, they’re perfectly pleasant to the rest of us, but like to be left to their own devices and aren’t keen on doing what others want. I certainly won’t be judging them for it.

However, while the estate was left to fall into disrepair, the rifts that developed were—are—oh, how do I say this. Well. I probably shouldn’t beat around the bush. I’m having, er, dust bunny gang wars? In my house? And I am fed up with it! The mirror needs cleaning twice a day, the apples have to be washed before eating, Stain’s getting frankly concerning hairballs, and the twins—! Actually, they seem to be rather well-adjusted. I think they may be betting on the fights with the fireplace.

Anyway. As for me, in most of the house, the turf allotments are pretty stable. Not so for the room directly under my bedroom. Practically every other day in there’s a dust bath, and I just can’t sleep with all of the snapping and coordinated dancing and bloodcurdling screams going on.

I’d like to be able to finish moving in to my home. I was even hoping to set up my spinning wheel in that room, but I can’t expose all of those loose fibers to the dust. I am very literally losing sleep over this. What should I do?

Oh, reader. What a frustrating situation! I would like to commend you for your commitment to sharing your home with its previous occupants, and in your success at building a home together you can all enjoy. At least, most of the time.

I understand that the dust bunny population prefer to keep to themselves and enjoy their own autonomy. And I think you're right to respect that preference, to a degree. But their behaviour is now infringing unacceptably on the peace and comfort of your home's other residence. Enough is enough.

Your first step it to try and open lines of communication between yourself and the bunnies. A simple communication ritual should suffice. Set yourself up with a talking board and few candles, and see if you can encourage the bunnies to speak to you directly.

If you're thinking this sounds rather similar to methods used to contact the more antisocial members of the spirit community, you'd be correct. You are trying to speak to sentient dust, and statistically speaking, household dust is largely composed of dead skin cells. A little light necromancy should see you well on your way to negotiating a lasting peace.

As with any peace negotiation, there will be compromises. Before you start this process, think carefully about what you are and aren't willing to give up – and what it is, precisely, you're asking for.

Are you trying to claim the spare room as your own territory, or declaring it a no man's land? Do you intend to act as an intermediary between dust bunny factions, mediating for a broader peace, or are you simply trying to put limits on how these factions behave in the shared spaces of your home?

With clarity of purpose and a commitment to communication and compromise, I think you'll be able to find your way to a solution that works for everyone. If no solution is forthcoming, you might consider a small show of force to encourage co-operation. A new vacuum cleaner, featured in a prominent position in the contested territory, for example.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 2- "You're in my head..."

The beginning two weeks on tour were spent in the city of London, which I easily grewattached to. For the first handful of days, I fell into a comfortable routine of simplicity- I’d wake with Sam, have breakfast in the hotel with the rest of the band (avoid Oliver); set my sights on a few attractions; spend time in Hyde Park, catching up on my reading list; then return to the hotel in the late afternoon for dinner with Sam and the band. Most often, Oliver wasn’t there for those evening meals, said to be off somewhere, writing music, or having a smoke (thank God). I didn’t see him much outside of those breakfasts considering I was always off doing something and he had rehearsals. And I honestly liked it that way.

During the first two weeks in London, I tried to be nice to Oliver. I’d greet him every day at breakfast with a kind smile, a gentle, “Good morning, Oliver.” And he’d just ignore me. None of the others really considered it, or else I think they’d have said something to him. It was subtle enough that I could only ruminate over it in silence.

But, boy, did I notice the shitty behavior he exhibited towards me, that when I’d laugh too loudly at Max’s jokes or start up a conversation- breathe, basically- Oliver’s shoulders would tense. He’d sigh, just soft enough that I could hear it across the table. And, he’d become distant from the group, eyes glazed over, silent. If someone- other than me- said something to him, he’d respond. But, God forbid he say anything on his own accord.

From what I gathered, he had gotten to know me and, I guess, he just didn’t like me. Why he had covered up the time we had spent together on the roof, I did not know. Why he felt the need to completely ignore me- I really just didn’t understand it. And I didn’t think I wanted to. I was having the time of my life, catching matinees on the West End, spending time in the Natural History Museum, riding the London Eye. I wasn’t going to play cat and mouse or sparring enemies during this time in my life.

Usually, at least, back home, I was always too nervous to go out by myself, afraid I’d see family friends or exes I was trying to avoid. Here, I didn’t have to worry about that. I was a whole new person- a whole new woman. I could go anywhere, do anything, be whoever I wanted. Sure, it was lonely sometimes, shopping or discovering new coffee shops all by myself. But, it was healing, too. I was learning to enjoy my own company.

At the beginning of the second week, however, I had run out of things to do. Due to my newfound luck, rehearsals had ended for the band Saturday, and they had the week off- save for Friday, when they’d perform, and the weekend, when we’d be heading up to Newcastle for the next show. But for now, Sam had an open schedule.

We toured the city together for a few days, spending more time together in those short hours than we had in nearly five years. We had a pretty close relationship, but due to our conflicting schedules and busy lives, it was rare that we found space to be with each other like this. It was cathartic- catching late lunches together, touring museums, art galleries, tourist attractions. Mom would’ve really loved to be there with us, in such a dream city, and I know we both held that thought close to our hearts for the entire week.

I didn’t attend their concert that weekend, involved with my own plans. I wanted to come see them perform at some point, but I almost wanted to spite Oliver by not going, too. It was, after all, his band, his music. So, instead, I planned on going to a local dive bar that was holding an open mic night. In such a vast, diverse city, I was sure to find fun there.

That morning, though, at breakfast, I almost changed my plans.

I sat down beside Sam, a plate of toast and eggs in my hands. Max looked up from his phone, where he had been texting someone, and grinned at me, “Morning, lovely. Sleep okay?’’

I nodded appreciatively, “I’ve gotten used to the time change already.”

“Just wait,” Sam stabbed at his stack of pancakes. “Italy is in a week. It’ll fuck you up again.”

“Oh, it’s worth it. I’ve gotten to do so much these past two weeks. It’s insane.”

Cy took a sip of his coffee before adding in, “Oh, to see London through the eyes of a tourist. I’m sure it’s nothing short of magical.”

“Gonna have a hard time leaving, that’s for sure,” I bit off a piece of toast as I replied.

Oliver and Adam joined us now, Adam rattling off some guitar notes to the singer. Their conversation was just background noise to ours, as Sam then spoke to me, brushing his hands free of crumbs from his toast, “Listen, I have your stage pass in my bag. You have to wear it to get into the venue or go backstage, okay? Don’t lose it. I won’t be able to check my phone much today, so I can’t help you out if you do.”

I looked up from my plate, a guilty frown settling into my face, “Oh. Um…I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m gonna go tonight.”

Everyone turned their attention to me fully, even Oliver, though he seemed to look past my head, avoiding my eyes. Their expressions weren’t necessarily confused, but wondorous, curiously surprised by my declaration.

“You’re not coming?” Max asked, his tone a bit hurt.

I shrugged slowly, “I’m so sorry. I had plans to go out. But, I can- I can always change them-?”

“No, don’t do that,” Cyrus waved me off, defending my choice, “you’re allowed to do your own thing. You’re not obligated to come see us.”

“I mean, I will…eventually. I just…there’s so much I wanna do, ya know?” I stuttered a bit, my face flushed from my guilt. I knew they weren’t mad, but I felt like I was letting them down.

Max pouted as he crossed his arms, “So, we’re just not as important, love? I see how it is. Here I thought we had something special.”

“I’m so sorry! I promise I’ll come to a show sometime. I’ll pencil it into my busy schedu-” I chuckled slightly through my words to make the point that I was being sarcastic. But, then, someone interrupted me.

Everyone glanced at Oliver as he stood, chair scraping against the ground. He was pulling a cigarette from an emptying pack, balancing it between his lips. Then, he walked, so quickly, yet so casually, away from our table, towards the exit.

“Even Ollie’s hurt,” Max pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

Funny thing is, I don’t think Max was too far off with his observation. Why else had Oliver stormed off like a child, leaving a full plate of food where he had been sitting?

-

Our first travel day was hectic. We had to wake up, bright and early Saturday morning, in order to board the tour buses waiting outside of the hotel. I was a little nervous to spend the next two days inside of the vehicle, eating, sleeping, and basically living within its confines.

But then it came easy. I slept in late, finding my bunk to be a lot more comfortable than it looked. Cy had joined our bus for that first morning, he and Sam working on some drum rhythm for a new song, or something of the sort. On our bus, too, was Ronnie, Sam’s close friend- he insisted- the band’s tour manager, whom I was growing to love.

She was all tattoos, colored hair, and bad-ass energy. She swore like a sailor, said whatever came to mind, and treated the boys like stupid little teenagers. I loved it. I found myself giggling at everything she said, especially when the boys would be too loud at a gas station, and she’d scold them. Whenever Oliver would grace us with his presence on these outings, he’d glare at my laughter, as per usual.

Anyways, I think I was a difficult pill for Ronnie to swallow at first, being so feminine in comparison to her more masculine demeanor. But, we began to really bond that first afternoon on the bus.

While Cy and Sam occupied the back room, drum pads rattling beneath their sticks, Ronnie and I took up the couches towards the front of the bus. I had just gone out for a cup of tea, hoping it would wake me up and encourage me to read or something. Instead, I ended up playing countless rounds of Mario Kart with Ronnie. I was never really into video games, but playing with her was so fun, and we just couldn’t stop. She teased me for being such an amateur, for choosing Princess Peach when she played as Bowser.

But, then we got to talking- about my favorite Taylor Swift songs, ex-boyfriends, childhood trauma. She was wise beyond her years and a comforting, womanly presence to have.

“Sam told me a little bit, but I never got the full picture. What are you going to school for?”

I glanced over at her, nearly crashing my kart because of the sharp corner I had to cut. “Oh, yeah, um…counseling. To get my LPC, so I can practice.”

“A woman in STEM,” she nodded slowly, a slight smile on her face. Her eyes were focused on the tv screen, but they held a glint of humor. “Hey, I respect it. That’s a difficult job. You like it so far?”

“I liked undergrad,” I shrugged. “I’m kind of scared about my master’s, though.”

She elbowed me softly, in an attempt to offer up some semblance of encouragement, “Don’t be. You’re not dumb. You’ll figure it out.” She was the type of person to not really compliment others, so it was sweet that she was trying for me, someone she barely even knew.

“Thank you,” I grinned over at her as our match ended.

She met my eye, fought back the wide smile itching at her face, and rolled her eyes, “Cmon, peaches. I wanna kick your ass on rainbow road.”

We continued on bantering, chatting about whatever came to mind. I knew then that she’d be a rock to turn to this summer, this suspicion exemplified by the fact that she even said she’d listen to one of the songs I mentioned, though she was a metal-lover, through and through. I was becoming like an exception to everyone, a bright, soft spot of sunshine in the black-clothed masses of this touring crew. It was heartwarming to be so beloved, even if no one would say those words directly (besides Max, of course).

So, what if Oliver didn’t like me? All of his fucking friends did.

-

So, things were coming up Daisy. I was making friends- most notably, Max, Cyrus, and Ronnie. Sam was right- Cy was incredibly smart. We spent a lot of time on the bus that weekend- and the next, when we traveled further up England- discussing school, psychological theories, cognitive studies. He knew a lot about a lot and it was stimulating to get to have such intelligent conversations.

Max was a handful, of course. Again, Sam being right- Max loved to flirt with me. I think it got on my brother’s nerves, but I found it to be a fun little game. At breakfast, back in London, he’d greet me every morning with a pleasant grin, a compliment on my hairstyle for the day or my lip stick color.

Of course, it would be followed by, “Would look better on me.” To which, I would laugh hysterically and Sam would try to fling eggs at his boss.

When this particular flirtation had been spent, I glanced around the group, giggling, when my eyes landed on Oliver. He was actually looking up, and at one point, he met my eyes. My bright grin did not falter, not until his lingering stare turned into a roll in his eyes. He looked back down at his phone and I decided then and there that I would not spend another minute ruminating on him and his negative energy.

Adam and I got along, but we weren’t super compatible, which I didn’t mind. Not everyone always matched with one another. We shared pleasant greetings and didn’t mind sitting next to each other at breakfast. He seemed to just keep to himself most of the time, anyways. Not that he didn’t spend time with the group. He just- was quiet, reserved.

We’d finished up the tour dates scheduled in England during those first three weeks. It had felt like a year long journey but, in reality, they’d only performed about six concerts in that time. We still had two and a half months to go. I was elated. Time on the bus was relaxing, passing by quicker than I thought it would. Though Cy’s bunk was on the other bus, he spent most of his time with us, with Sam. Max would even bus hop, opting for group movie nights with us or games of poker. We sometimes roped Adam into it, but Oliver never budged. His band mates would call him lame, tease him for being such a n introvert, but gave up once he’d roll his eyes at them.

I wondered how they put up with his shitty attitude all the time. It must be frustrating, this annoyance only made worse by the fact that he was so fucking talented. I refused to listen to their music anymore than what Sam had already shown because I just didn’t want to give Oliver the satisfaction, even if he wouldn’t know about it.

IdontcareIdontcareIdontcare. I had to remind myself that a lot.

The next two stops were in Italy, where we’d be for just a week and a half. The evening before we boarded the plane that would take us there, however, we all decided to get out for a big dinner. It was the first time I’d really be hanging with the entire group, outside of our bus and hotel breakfasts. I wanted to look good, knowing they were used to seeing me in sweats, hoodies, jeans, so I spent a bit of time getting myself ready.

Sam barely dressed up, opting for jeans and a nicer jumper, black Vans a staple to all his outfits. I picked out one of the nicer dresses I’d packed, blush pink, with a square neckline, sheer long sleeves, and a length that cut off above my mid-thigh. I wore my black platform boots, gold jewelry, and did my hair up in this silk bow I had purchased back in London. This was the first time on this trip that I felt really good about how I looked. Oliver’s burning hatred for me only made me more insecure than I already was. Not tonight.

Sam sat on the edge of his bed, awaiting me, scrolling through his phone. He looked up when I opened the bathroom door, my boots noisy on the carpeted floor. A sweet smile came across his face. He slid his phone into his pocket and stood to take me in. His head tilted to the side.

“What?” I rubbed my hands down the front of my dress, feeling overanalyzed by his gaze.

“I don’t tell you enough Daz, but you’re beautiful,” Sam nodded, just once. Usually, I’d make fun of him for being so cheesy, so affectionate. But, this summer was bonding us more.

Instead, I grinned at my brother, but still reached out to playfully punch his arm. “Thanks, Sam-Ham.”

“Hey, you’ve done pretty well at not using that so far. Think the guys forgot about that one time.” We headed for the door now, back on our bantering like usual.

I shrugged at his comment, countering with, “Maybe I should remind them of it, then.”

Sam held the door open for me, but, as I said those words, he tried to shove it close on my moving body. I yelped at the impact and then dug my heels into the carpet as I pushed back against his weight. He laughed, heartily, before giving up on shutting me in. Because I was pushing so hard, I toppled out into the hallway, breathless, nearly falling on my face. Sam caught my shoulders and pushed me back on my feet.

As I looked up, I saw Oliver, standing outside of his own room, a quiet smile on his face. He had been observing our antics, passively, with an amused glint in his eye. I grinned back at him, my stupid heart feeling hopeful for some semblance of a spark to catch between us. As if he realized it was my eyes he was looking into, he turned his head.

But, then, just as quickly as he peeled his gaze away, he put it back on me. On my boots, fiery brown eyes dragging themselves up my body. They lingered over the curve of my hips, the peaks of my breasts, my glossy lips and, then, my eyes. He seemed to smirk at me, flashed his eyes, then turned on his heel and headed for the elevator.

Sam hadn’t noticed the longing gaze Oliver burned into me because Ronnie was approaching us from down the hall. She didn’t really go to breakfast or dinner with us because she was always on the move. But, luckily, she was able to make it out tonight. And, whenever Ronnie was around, Sam was more than distracted.

I was too focused on Oliver, myself, staring at his retreating back with a slack jaw. Goosebumps littered the skin exposed on my chest, my legs, a chemical reaction eliciting itself from his burning eyes. What the fuck was that? I knew, deep in my soul, that I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was literally just a stupid man, and I was dressed in little to no clothing. As long as a vagina had legs, men would fuck the most insufferable of women. That was just it- right?

I didn’t have time to focus on my own racing thoughts, however, because Ronnie was talking to me now, teasing me about my dress, which I knew, for her, was just a hidden compliment.

“Jesus, it’s like Princess Peach in real life,” she chuckled, eyeing me up.

I turned to the two of them, licking my lips as if to snap myself out of my lucid trance. “Huh? Oh…uh- insert funny Princess Peach line,” I shook my hands around, forcing a smile upon my face, as I tried to banter back.

“Something like, ‘save me, Mario!”’ Sam mocked the character in a high-pitched voice.

This finally distracted my brain enough. Ronnie and I shared a humorously surprised expression, eyed Sam, before bursting out into laughter.

“That was fucking terrible!” Ronnie exclaimed, smacking Sam in the bicep. “I loved it.”

We made our way to the elevator, still teasing Sam for his terrible impression. He tried to save himself by acting like Mario, but that was just another train wreck, in and of itself.

“I’m-a sorry! Please-a forgive me-a!” He lifted his arms in a strange manner as he made another horrid impression. Ronnie held a finger up to her lips, “No, no. Shhhhhh…no, just…no.” I giggled into my hand.

We were supposed to meet the others down in the lobby, where we would take a pair of taxis down the street to some five-star restaurant the boys had recommended. I was lucky to have saved up so much at my job back home, to be able to do stuff like this all summer. I don’t think I’d ever been to such a fancy place before. I was more than excited.

When we stepped off the elevator, we spotted our group by the front doors. Max was in a sweater, jeans, hands stuffed in his pockets as he spoke to Adam, who was also dressed nicer than normal. He looked over the guitarist's shoulder as the elevator dinged and spotted me immediately. Max gawked at the sight. He interrupted his band mate’s conversation in order to whistle. I flushed red, eyes rolling, though I secretly appreciated all the attention I was garnering with this little outfit.

“Oh, my god,” Ronnie murmured to herself, pressing a hand to her forehead as though he was stressing her out. She and Sam moved off, out of the way, as Max approached.

He brushed past Adam, looking me up and down. He reached out for my hands, taking my fingers in his large hold. He lifted my arms up, as if to get a better examination of me. “Love, you look fucking gorgeous!”

I shook my head, grinning at the compliments, and it ruffled my hair over my shoulders. It drew Max’s attention to my intricate hairstyle. He moved his hand to touch my neck, softly, and turned my head to admire the hairstyle.

“Wow, love, just; wow!” Max appreciated me some more, settling a blush across my cheeks.

Then, he pulled me to stand beside him, looping my hand through his arm, laying it around his bicep. “Come on, love; you’re my date for this evening. Yeah?”

“Sure,” I patted his bicep. “Whatever you say.”

Max groaned, head tilted back, eyes shut. “Don’t say that! That’s dangerous-“

“Watch your fucking mouth!” Sam called from his spot beside Ronnie, a finger pointed warningly at Max. I hung my head, giggles falling from my mouth. Ronnie looked amused at the confrontation.

Max raised his own hand in defense, “Okay, okay. I’ll even admit that one was a little…out there.” Sam nodded firmly with a disapproving smile. Max tilted his head down towards me, his expression more polite now, words close to my ear. “Sorry, love.”

I leaned into his arm, winking slightly, “Don’t be. I liked it.”

“Oh! That’s my girl,” Max tapped my nose sweetly.

I was on top of the world. I looked good- even Oliver thought so- I felt good. I was in the most beautiful country, surrounded by people I was forming tightly-knit relationships with. Nothing could ruin my elated mood.

I didn’t even care that Ronnie, Sam, and Adam had piled into the one taxi, leaving Max, Oliver, Cy, and I to share the other. I didn’t care that I’d have to share such a small space with the most insufferable man in the world.

Cy chose to sit up front, cutting off Oliver, who had most definitely been headed in that direction. Cy didn’t notice, though. His action was sacrificial for everyone else, not intentionally manipulative towards his band mate. Oliver, however, seemed to take it to heart, frowning deeply at the rejection and fisting his hand into his hoodie pocket.

I watched all this occur as Max opened the door to the taxi, helping me inside the back seat. “You okay in the middle?” He asked, head dipped inside the vehicle.

I nodded, “No worries.” I only realized after I saw Oliver round the car that this meant I’d be sitting flush against him.

I didn’t care. Though my face flushed with anticipatory anxiety, I didn’t care. I didn’t care- was that his cologne in the air- nope. Don’t care.

Max piled in, softly shutting the door behind him, leg and shoulder pressed up against my own. I buckled myself in just as Oliver opened the door. I tried to offer a sweet smile, still choosing kindness over returning his awful behavior. He didn’t mirror any gesture in return. My smile faltered.

No. I wouldn’t let him ruin this for me. Tonight was going to be fun, whether he wanted it to be or not. If he chose to sulk in my presence, then that was his problem. I shook my shoulders about, basically shaking him off of me. Though, it would be my problem during the car ride. He slid into the seat next to me and I swear I could feel his negative energy fill up the car. Besides, he was tall, legs and arms long, shoulders wide. I know he was trying to shove himself up against the door, but he couldn’t just not touch me. His thigh was warm against mine, his shoulder tense. I leaned into Max to try to give him more space, but that was unfair to him.

The bassist shifted in return, looking down at me, apologetic for thinking he had taken up too much space, “Sorry, love.”

“S’okay,” I looked away from Oliver, focusing my attention on the road before us as the driver pulled out of the parking lot. I tried to sink into myself. But, I was still flush against either man.

I could smell Oliver’s cologne, too. It was sweet, musky. It overwhelmed my senses. Though I tried to process Max and Cy’s blossoming conversation, appeal myself to them and only them, all I could think about was Oliver. How he smelled. The curve of his thigh.

Oliver’s large hand on his knee, slender fingers curved over top of the limb. Oliver’s chest, in the corner of my eye, moving up and down slowly, in a controlled rhythm of breathing. Oliver’s scent, so strong to my senses, so…distracting. He smelled so damn good.

I shifted in my seat again. My thigh pressed up against his more. I squeezed my legs together to avoid his, but there wasn’t enough room. I glanced at him, an apologetic smile on my lips.

He looked down at me, lips pursed slightly. I held his eyes for a moment, trying to read his expression. Just as I went to turn my head away, his eyes dipped down, over the peaks of my breast again.

Okay, he was not helping the situation. The way he looked more over was just making him seem more attractive to my stupid brain.

I flushed, skin spotting with color from the red blush. I took a deep breath, chest rising and falling as I tried to control the heat in my body. I saw from the corner of my eye that Oliver was still staring at me. He shifted this time, tugging his hoodie down his belt. I furrowed my brows at the movement, flicking my eyes over his lap, where the hem of his jacket had now settled. Oliver coughed, large hand holding the edge of his hoodie down over where he had moved it to. I did a double-take, realizing after a moment what that meant.

He had a boner.

He had a boner because of me.

Oliver had a boner because of me.

Oh, God.

I couldn’t think straight. I clutched the edge of my dress, knuckles white from the pressure in them. My chest only fell faster, breathing short, goosebumps littering my flushed skin again. I could feel Oliver look over at me, over and over. He just couldn’t look away. He shifted countless more times, thigh pushing against mine. It sprouted a wildfire across my skin.

I didn’t want to play games, but he was making it impossible to be the neutral position in this narrative. One day, he hated me, rolling his eyes at my laughter. Then, the next, he’s checking me out, battling a boner in the seat beside me? So, maybe I should just choose a side. Maybe I should play back.

I spread my legs, only a centimeter due to the lack of space I had, pressing my thigh into his more. It was noticeable to him, and him only.

He felt the pressure, eyes dragging down my body to my leg. The hand he still had curved over his leg squeezed his knee cap, knuckles flushing white, like my own. I smirked to myself, though I knew he could see the expression on my face. He let out a breathless huff, as if he was struggling to get air into his lungs.

Eventually, we made it to the restaurant. I continued pushing my leg into his, though he slowly began to cower into the corner of the car, knee turning towards the door. I felt victorious, confident in the way I had made his body react.

Though my hands still shook from the heat of the moment. The game paused during dinner. Oliver went back to ignoring me, eyes trained on the menu or his lap. I knew it was partially because he didn’t want to have a boner in front of our friends. Though, he conversed a bit more tonight, to Ronnie about tour dates, to his band mates about the setlist, to Sam about some stupid bit they were all involved in. I knew it was just because of the camaraderie between everyone.

Everyone had a really good time, myself included, though I was sweating. We were all laughing, sharing stories over numerous glasses of wine. Of course, my hand was a little heavier than the other’s when I’d poured myself some of the maroon colored liquid. I needed to drink in order to get through this painful plane of existence. This was not how I thought the night would go, but there was no going back now. I needed to make him uncomfortable, needed him to see me. He couldn’t ignore me any longer. Not now, not when I knew that I had him in such a taunting way. When dessert was brought out- slices of chocolate cake- I stepped back into the game. I was a little more brave now, encouraged by the wine. I was tipsy, sure, but I also knew exactly what I was doing.

Oliver was seated right across from me, accidental on either of our ends. But, lucky, nonetheless. I pushed my feet out underneath the table, taking up more space than I needed to. Eventually, the toes of my boots hit the tips of his black converse.

He had been eating his cake, eyes trained on the white cloth of the table. But, when I knocked our shoes together, his eyes flinched up, towards me. His brows furrowed. He dipped his head down and lifted the cloth up slightly to look at our shoes under the table. Oliver met my eyes again. He rolled his eyes and went back to his cake. I smirked to myself. He thought I was just being stupid, stretching my legs out. No- I was a smart girl. I knew what I was doing. This was all intentional. I hated him, but he thought I was hot. So, I could finally get back at him for all of his shitty behavior. Could use my good looks to my advantage.

I put my boot atop one of his converse. His foot wriggled beneath mine, in an attempt to knock it off. But, I pressed down, keeping it there. Oliver looked back up, annoyance evident in his face.

I took the opportunity to have a bit of my cake, slipping the fork between my lips slowly, tongue flicking out to swipe the bottom of it seductively. Oliver’s eyes widened as I drug the utensil from my lips. I twisted it around in my mouth, cleaning off every inch, lips pursed. He sat up in his seat.

I had his full attention now.

I scooped more cake onto my fork, though I didn’t bite into it this time. Instead, I licked the fork, dragging it down my tongue. Oliver’s eyes watched my mouth, his own tongue flicking out over his lips.

I swallowed, noticeably so. He shifted in his seat, hands in his laps now. I set my fork down, leaned back in my seat, and crossed my arms. I let myself grin at him, having successfully made his dick hard again. He was a stupid, easy boy. It didn’t matter who I was- so long as I was wearing skimpy clothes and being sexy- he was weak. Sure, he probably still couldn’t stand me- but his dick was hard.

Oliver’s jaw clenched. He tilted his chin up towards me, as if to say, “Okay. I see how it is.”

I flicked my brows at him, reaching out for my wine glass, and maintaining eye contact as I took a long swig. “Should we go out for drinks?” Max asked from his end of the table.

I glanced down at him, my wine glass empty now. Sam wiped his mouth clean with a napkin, searching everyone’s expressions. “Could be fun,” I shrugged. “Yeah, I could go for some beer,” Adam shrugged from his seat.

Ronnie nodded, too, “Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

Cyrus raised a hand to motion to the waitress that we needed our checks. I reached around to the back of my chair as she approached, ready to grab my wallet. Though we had already laid out how the checks would be split, she never gave me mine.

I furrowed my brows as she passed over me, handing out bills to everyone else. But, then I saw Sam laying his card down on his bill and nodded to myself. When we left the restaurant, and began walking down the street to the closest bar, I caught up to him and Ronnie. I looped my arm through his, gaining his attention, “Thanks, Sam Ham.”

He looked confused by my gratitude, but didn’t have time to focus on that because he was too busy being offended by my choice of nickname. He moved to fuck with me, to tickle my waist or something, but I quickly ran from him. Max and Adam were walking a few feet ahead of us. Laughing loudly, I headed to them, running in front of Max. The wine I had drank was making me loud, silly. I appreciated the ability to relax, unwind. Be myself without any filters holding me back.

Max nearly tripped over me, but when he heard Sam calling out, trying to get to me, he quickly grabbed me by the waist. “Leave my girl alone, you monster!” Max shouted, tossing me over his shoulder and racing further down the street.

I clutched onto his arms, yelping at the hectic movement. We reached the bar before everyone else, Sam having given up on chasing us after he nearly tripped on the curb. I watched them all approach where we stood from over Max’s shoulder, breathless.

I patted his back and said, “Okay, thanks, but you can let me down now.”

“Mhm,” Max turned towards the group. “Appreciating the view, love.”

“Max,” Ronnie was even getting protective over me. She moved in front of us, an annoyed look on her face, “You’re disgusting.”

Max huffed, and replied, “Okay, okay, here,” before settling me back on my feet. He grinned down at me, booped my nose again before heading into the bar with Adam, Ronnie, and Sam.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Cy and Oliver, having been trailing behind our group. Cy smiled kindly, hands shoved in his jacket pockets. I noticed Oliver was looking up at the sky. I trailed my eyes down over his body, towards his crotch curiously. His black skinny jeans looked just a liiiiittle bit tight, again.

I smirked to myself. “Cmon, Cy,” I pushed Oliver gently out of the way in order to grab onto his friend’s arm. We walked into the bar, leaving Oliver in the dust. I made sure to swing my hips just so for his gaze, which I was positive was glued to my ass.

The game was back on. And he would lose.

-

Max handed me yet another drink, a sweet, drunken smile on his face. “Here you are, lovey.”

“Thank you, friend!” I wriggled around on the bar stool happily. I lazily wrapped my lips around the thin black straw in the glass I now held tightly in my hand. The bitter taste of alcohol, diluted by the cherry grenadine and orange slice clipped onto the rim of the glass, flooded my tongue. I shut my eyes as I enjoyed the taste, drunk enough that it didn’t actually matter how gross vodka was.

I set the glass back down upon the bar, then twisted my stool around to observe the small dance floor. It was some local dive bar we’d settled on, a place Max had been to loads of times before. It was getting crowded, especially as the night wound down. Every seat at the counter was full, the tables were occupied, and everyone on said dance floor was pushing up against each other. The couples dancing there were sights for sore eyes, all sloppy hips and wandering hands.

I moved my head side to side, with the rhythm of the song playing, lips pursed. I knew some of the words, mostly just the chorus, so I sang along when I could. I glanced over to the pool tables when I heard Sam and Ronnie cheer loudly. They were playing against Adam and Cy, who seemed to be losing quite badly. I giggled to myself as Sam chest-bumped with Ronnie.

Max, who had been talking to Oliver, who was sitting- sulking- beside us, turned his attention back to me. I was still his ‘date’ for the evening, so he had refused to let me buy my own drinks. This was incredibly dangerous. Not including the two glasses of wine I’d had back at the restaurant, I was already on my fourth drink. The liquor was making my stomach warm, my limbs loose. As for Oliver…I had been too busy enjoying myself in the bar to play with him. I was feeling like just giving up, satisfied with what I’d accomplished, growing bored of him as the alcohol filled up my attention. Besides, the man seemed uninterested in anything anymore.

“I still owe you a dance, don’t I, lovely?” Max’s voice was low in my ear, his cheek brushing against my hair.

I grinned up at him, “I think you owe me at least two.”

Max dipped his head back to swallow the rest of his drink before offering me his hand. As he did, Whitney Houston began playing. My mouth opened wide in excitement. I hopped off the bar and drugged him behind me, jumping to the rhythm with each step I took towards the floor. I sang to Max, holding onto his hand, pointing with every lyric, popping my hips. He swayed, but mostly let me have my moment. He pulled me every so often and my hair would whip past my shoulders.

“Spinning through the town- ah!” I squealed as Max spun me towards his chest. I clutched onto his shoulders as he dipped me, hands low on my back. As I hung there in the air, I burst out laughing, my head falling further backwards.

When I opened my eyes, I caught sight of Oliver, now turned in his stool to face the dance floor. He wasn’t smiling, no, he was basically incapable of doing so. But, there was a small curl in his lips, a glint in his dark eyes each time the flashing lights burned his pupils. Nevermind. I was back in. I was so back in the game that it was probably unhealthy, and I’d probably regret it. The song ended, and, to my luck, S&M by Rihanna began playing. I grinned at Max as my back straightened up, my chest pressed against his.

He tilted his head at me with a playful smile, “I have a feeling Sam won’t like this.”

I wrapped my arms around Max’s neck, pushing myself flush against him. I stood on my tiptoes, glossy lips barely ghosting his earlobe as I whispered, “I don’t care.”

As I pulled away, I watched Max throw his head back and roll his eyes. “You’re killing me, love!”

“Good!”

The chorus began thumping through the speakers. I pushed Max’s leg through my own, feeling his boney hips against mine. I rolled my waist to his, tossing my hair back, leaning into his hands. He pushed his touch lower, over the curve of my tailbone, dangerously close to my ass. We danced through the song, pushing into each other, hips rolling. As it reached the bridge, Max pushed me away, still holding my hand, encouraging me to dance on my own for a moment. I did, jumping around, screaming the lyrics, hair whipping over my face. Max then spun me back into his chest.

When I thumped against his body, I knew I was going to puke. Vile pushed up my throat and I slapped a hand over my mouth. I stumbled, ripping my hand from Max. He was speaking to me, asking if I was okay, or something of the sort, but I couldn’t hear him.

I needed to get away- get to the bathroom, get fresh air, something. I didn’t know where the ladies room was, so I b-lined for the front door, tripping through the crowd, until my fingers touched the push bar handle. My knees scraped against the pavement as I fell into the curb, retching the contents of the dinner I’d had into the bushes outside the bar. I tried to brush my hair from my face, but it was sticking to my face in bunches, sweat acting as a bondant.

Out of nowhere, I felt someone else’s warm hands on my neck, fingering my hair back into their fist, peeling strands from my cheeks and lips. I braced my hands against the dirt of the curb and some of it lodged up under my fingernails. My knees were burning, probably all cut up from my crash landing.

After a few minutes of relentless gagging, my stomach was finally empty. I pushed myself back onto my ass, tears dripping down my cheeks, black mascara smudging all the way down to my neck. My back pressed up against the stranger’s chest. I felt my shoulders shaking from the exertion my body had just gone through.

“It’s okay,” they were shushing me throughout it all, their voice now processing in my ears. They wrapped an arm around my waist, hugging me to their chest as they swayed us slightly. Their other hand continued brushing my hair from my face soothingly, coaxing me down from the high of the moment. “It’s okay, Daisy. You’ll be okay.”

“I wanna go home,” I sobbed slightly, words slobbered from my salivating lips.

“I know, I know, s’okay,” they continued soothing me. “Think you can stand?”

I glanced down, looking over the hand that was helping me. Silver rings adorned the person’s long, slender fingers, and their pale wrist led into an arm that disappeared under a black sweatshirt. As my brain processed their voice, their sweet smell of cologne that was encasing me, my eyes widened.

“Ol-” my voice cracked, “Oliver?”

He peered over my shoulder as I looked back at him, managing to meet his eyes. “Yeah? You okay? Think you can stand, darling?”

I wanted to be angry, to jump up and yell at him for being so fucking weird, for acting like my existence was a burden, but falling to his knees whenever I was in danger. But, I couldn’t right now. I just wanted to go home. Back to the hotel, curl up in bed.

“N-no,” I admitted guiltily, brows furrowed. “I…don’t feel good.”

“S’okay. Shhhh, it’s okay. Here,” Oliver braced my back with a hand as he stood, ensuring I wouldn’t fall over onto the sidewalk. When he settled onto his feet, he pulled his phone from his pocket, shot a quick text to someone. Then, he crouched down, scooped me up, easily, into his arms. I lazily wrapped my hands around his neck.

The crevice of his shoulder was warm, so I nuzzled my head there. I could hear his heartbeat, thumping rapidly through his hoodie. I focused on the sound as he began walking. My eyes, unwillingly, fluttered shut. I didn’t know where we were going or, honestly, what the fuck was happening. But, I couldn’t care. I just needed my world to stop spinning. Besides, being so close to him felt…good. I didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want it to be true. But, he was…he felt good.

Eventually, I guess, we made it back to the hotel. I came to from my sleepy trance when I heard the elevator ding. I took in a sharp gasp of breath, lifting my head from Oliver’s chest.

“Doing okay, Daisy?” He looked down at me. I felt us shift as the elevator lifted up on its track. I shook my head, only having enough energy to do so once, frowning deeply, “Not really.”

“S’okay, darling, we’re almost there,” Oliver assured me. My brows furrowed when I heard the pet name pass through his lips. “What?” I questioned. I suppose he’d used it a few times now, but this was the first I’d noticed it. It was…entrancing.

Oliver glanced back at me, having trained his eyes back on the doors before us, “Said we’ll be there soon, yeah?” “Darling,” I whispered, mostly to myself as I lay my head back into his neck.

I heard him chuckle softly, as though he heard my inquiring tone. The noise rattled against my cupped ear, deep, hollow in his chest. I liked the sound. I wanted to hear it more often. I cooed and felt Oliver’s chest constrict beneath my chin, as though he was taking a deep breath. We were moving again, down the hallway, towards mine and Sam’s room. Oliver stopped outside of it and shifted me in his arms. “Okay, darling, need your help here. I’ve got your purse. Could you get in it, get your key? Can you do that for me, beautiful?”

My mind was so rattled by his free use of the sweet names that I struggled to focus on the task at hand. Jaw slack, I stared up at him, hypnotized. He smiled down at me, still humored by my shock.

“Darling? Please? Your purse.”

‘‘Purse,” I nodded slowly. Then, somehow, I managed to reach for the pink strap slung over his shoulder. I fished my purse into my lap, dug around, trying to find my wallet. As I continued to search for it, I began to grow frustrated. I just wanted to close my eyes, go to sleep. “Can’t find it.” I began to cry again, sniffling lamely.

He soothed me with soft hushes, “S’okay. Darling, s’okay. You can just..” he huffed as he tried to come up with a solution. He peered down the hallway, towards his room. “You can just stay in my room. Don’t cry, Daisy. S…okay.”

He seemed to be trying to reassure himself more than me. He backtracked down the hallway, stopping before his door now. “Okay, just one more favor, darling. Can you do that for me? One more?”

“Yes,” I slurred.

Oliver tapped his fingers against the underside of my thigh. It released a net of butterflies in my stomach. “Can you reach into my back pocket, get my wallet? Yeah?”

I shifted in his arms, straining my arm over his shoulder as I reached for the wallet he spoke of. With a few soft groans from me, and the help of Oliver, who lifted me up further so I could reach, I retrieved it. I flipped it open, eyes immediately drawn to his driver’s license in the clear slot.

“You’re cute,” I muttered to myself, rubbing a finger across the picture. “December 22. Your birthday is seven months away.”

“Yes, it is, darling,” he chuckled down at me. “Now, listen-“

“My birthday is next month,” I tilted my head back, pointing my glazed smile up at him.

“Oh, yeah?” I watched as his grin grew upon meeting my eyes.

“The 12th,” I moved my hand from the wallet to his cheek, touching it softly. “You’re cute.”

His face grew hot beneath my touch. “So are you, darling. You wanna get to sleep, yeah?”

The words drew a yawn from my throat. I arched my back into his hold, nodding lazily.

“Would you take the hotel key out and press it against the handle, please? Daisy-“ he demanded my eye contact. I gave it to him, easily. I would do anything he asked, I knew at this moment.

“Yes.”

I unlocked the door, pushed it open for us. Oliver moved through the threshold, pressing a kiss to my temple shortly. When he spoke, his lips were so close to my ear that I felt his words in my legs. It vibrated through my veins, like the music at the bar had. He said, “Good girl.” I managed not to make a guttural noise.

Oliver carried me to his bed, gently laying my body down over the covers. I immediately curled up into myself, shivering at the cold in the air, eyes squeezed shut. I’d forgotten any conversation I’d started with him in the hallway. I was too focused on getting to sleep.

Oliver sat down beside me, laying a hand on my shoulder. He shook me, softly, “May I take off your shoes?”

I groaned in response, hoping it came out as a positive signal for him. He laughed again, before moving his touch down to my calves. He was so warm.

Oliver lifted my one leg, just slightly, unzipping each boot before sliding them down and off my feet. He leaned over the bet to set them on the floor.

When he straightened up, he leaned in to get a closer look at my knees. “Scraped yourself up pretty good.”

I hissed as his fingers dabbed at a cut. He apologized, softly, before adding, “Let me get a cloth, okay?” His hand was on my cheek now, thumb brushing away some of the mascara that was dried on my face.

I gave him a thumbs up, my hand hitting his shoulder. He took my fingers in his and lay it back against my chest. I held his hand there, snuggling my cheek to it. Oliver sighed at the action, but then took his hand back. I heard him get up. I heard the faucet run. Suddenly, he was back, pressing a warm, damp cloth to my face.

‘‘C’mere, darling,” he sat down again. Oliver’s fingers cradled my cheek as he lifted my head up and lay it in his lap. His fingers were rough from playing the guitar, but it was nice to feel them brush the hair away from my face. He was cleaning the makeup off my face now.

Meanwhile, I was far too drunk and tired to notice the way my body reacted to his touch. Butterflies ate away at my stomach, heat sprouted from every ghost of his fingers. Goosebumps covered every inch of my skin, eating away at me like acid.

He moved his focus down to my knees, using some alcohol pads to wipe off dried blood on my legs. He bandaged them with whatever he found in the bathroom.

“Would you like to change out of your dress?” Oliver then asked. He was still stroking my cheek now, but the cloth was abandoned. There was no makeup to take off. He was just…touching me, just for the sake of touching me.

“Please,” I peeked open my eyes. His face was so close to mine, it almost made me flinch. But, I was taken back more by the brightness of the lights glaring down on me.

When my squinting eyes met his gaze, he grinned, “Think you can sit up for me, darling?”

I nodded, a smile forced onto my face from his beautiful expression. Oliver braced my back again, large fingers splayed out over my waist, helping me to lean against the headboard. I wanted his hands all over me. I hoped I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t think I did, but who knew at this point.

“Would you like a hoodie? T-shirt? Pants?” He glanced around the room as he spoke, hoping to find something for me.

“Hoodie,” I murmured in response, staring at the blank, black screen of the tv.

Oliver went to stand, but I reached out, fingers grasping at the strings of his jacket. He settled back onto the bed, brows furrowed as he looked down at my touch. He pointed to his chest, “This hoodie?”

“Please,” I stared at the string as I played with it. Oliver chuckled, again, before tugging his arms from the sleeves, peeling the hoodie up and over his head. My eyes glued to his chest as his shirt rode up, revealing his toned stomach, the line that I knew led to his dick. His hair was all ruffled from the movement, too, only making him more attractive to me.

“Wanna keep staring at me or go to bed, darling?” Oliver touched his pointer finger to my slack jaw, drawing my eyes to his.

I met his dark stare, flushing red. I smiled, “Both.”

“One thing at a time. We have all summer,” he shook his head, the volume of his words lowering as he spoke, like it was a secret we were sharing with each other. What the fuck did that mean? That meant something. That meant…everything. What the fuck?

I managed to lean forward so Oliver could unzip my dress, though my mind was somewhere else. It was racing, especially as his fingers brushed down my spine. My back arched into his touch. Heat sprouted like a garden on my skin. I needed…

Oliver pulled his hoodie over my bare body. When my head popped through the opening, we shared a sweet grin. Oliver glanced up at my hair, then ran both his hands over the mess, patting it down. He cradled my head in his hands, his large, warm, hold simply gazing into my eyes.

The pace of my breathing sped up, heart thumping rapidly in my chest. I wanted to kiss him. I needed to kiss him. I didn’t care that he was confusing, that he was an asshole 99% of the time. I didn’t care that he probably tasted like cigarette smoke, that I’d puked thirty minutes ago, or that he was my brother’s boss.

I needed his lips on mine. He had been the center of my thoughts these past few weeks. And he was finally right there for the taking.

I pushed forward with so much effort that I tackled Oliver onto the bed. I grabbed the neck of his t-shirt, guiding his lips to mine. He made a noise as his back hit the bed, the air knocked out of him. I straddled his waist, somehow, sloppily kissing him.

For a moment, just a brief moment, Oliver touched my waist and kissed me back. Then, he braced his hands against my shoulders, leaned his head back far enough into the bed that he could get away.

“Daisy-“

“Oliver, please!” I tugged at his shirt, whining like a child who had their candy stolen.

Oliver laughed at my puckered lips, squeezed-shut eyes. He sat us up, me in his lap, his hands moving to my waist. The movement forced my eyes open, my lips coming to a frown on my face. I furrowed my brows, puppy-dog eyes staring up at him with a pleading in my pupils.

“Daisy, you’re drunk,” he touched my cheek, trying to ground my gaze to his, hoping the explanation would make sense to my drunken mind.

But, it didn’t, of course. Besides, this was rejection. Rejection from the guy who rolled his eyes everytime I spoke. Rejection from the guy who got hard because of my thigh pressing against his leg in the car. The confusion of the situation was overwhelming me.

And the only thing I could think to say was, “Why don’t you want me?”

Oliver’s gaze softened. He didn’t even have to think of his response. It came so naturally, “I do. I…I do want you.”

His voice was soft, a whisper passed between just our breaths. My grip on his shirt loosened as I relaxed in his lap. I was still frowning, though, still confused, “Then why…why are you so mean to me?”

“It’s complicated, darling,” he searched my face, worry in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I’m sorry. I just…let’s just get you to bed, okay? We can have this conversation when you’re sober. Can we do that, darling? Besides, we have a plane to catch in five hours.” I nodded, though it was slow, unsure. Oliver helped me under the covers, tucking them up to my chin sweetly. He brushed my hair back again, eyes lingering on my fluttering-shut eyes. I mumbled, barely coherent, slurred words, “Please lay with me.”

Oliver shook his head, “I can’t do that, darling.” “Why?” I pouted my lip.

And, though I forgot a lot of details about this night, his response was something I would never, ever let slip from my memory.

“If I lay down next to you, I don’t think I could keep my hands to myself.”

[turbulentscrawl]

Any headcanons for Embalmer and Andrew? 🥸

Oh yes! I am systematically working my way through most of the characters ehehe. I actually think I need to do some situational writing for Aesop as practice, he was a little harder for me to pin down than the other characters I've done so far.

As always, feel free to send me requests if you like my stuff <3 these are fun to do before work ;;

Identity(V) Headcanons: Aesop Carl

-With my current knowledge of the characters, I think Aesop is one of the more dangerous people in the actual horror-story telling behind IDV…. But I’ve been filling these under the game/stageplay setup where the manor is an unescapable, endless game and no one actually dies for realsies…so we’ll ignore his murderous training and tendencies for now.

-That said, he’s still going to be a very difficult guy to get along with. Aesop is confirmed as autistic, and most of his related struggles fall into social categories. He does not typically enjoy casual touch or conversations about anything other than his work. In fact, the longer the conversation is, the worse time he’s having. If there’s a lot of people around too?? He’s McStruggling.

-It takes him a very long time to become genuinely comfortable and friendly with someone, and only then does he start to explore them beyond his comfort zone. Luckily, since everyone is stuck in this would-be purgatory, you’ve got nothing but time!

-One-on-one time is best for Aesop, and while you’re first getting to know him it’s recommended you do not initiate this unless he’s in a public space. He’s mentally prepared to be approached at those times. If you try to barge in on his quiet time or safe spaces before he clears you to do so, it’s only going to hurt his opinion of you.

-He most definitely has long-stints of going nonverbal. At times, the amount of conversation expected of him is too much and he just shuts down completely. If he’s pressed too much during these times he may fall to tears or lashing out. He may, however, be willing to write out any answers that are very important or time-sensitive.

-The trustworthiness of the living and the dead are flip-flopped in Aesop’s mind. When someone is dead, they are a resting summation of all their deeds in life. He learns about who people were through the clues they leave behind: their health, their scars, their effects, the company they receive at their funerals. He considers these things to be more truthful than whatever the deceased would tell or show him about themselves. The living, meanwhile, are all actors, just proxies for what they want to be rather than what they actually are. This is a large reason why he feels closer to the dead than the living.

-Aesop’s favorite love languages are a little difficult to pin down, but I’m going to say Quality Time is his number one—especially when you’re good with parallel play and keep things quiet. This will foster feelings of safety and comfort in relation to your presence! He also likes Words of Affirmation, but mostly in the form of letters, as he’s a little biased for them from all the times he’s nosed through a patient’s effects. Even when he’s head-over-heels (or as close as he can be, since I honestly get AceAro vibes from him) he leans towards written communication but could learn to trust verbal praise in smaller doses.

-When he’s very close with someone, he can learn to enjoy a good hug now and then, or lend them his shoulder to lean on, but he always prefers to keep his arms uncaged so it’s easier to pull away. Unwelcome physical contact feels like bugs crawling under his skin. It’s obvious when he’s had far too much of it because that sensation leads to twitching and spasming, like he’s trying to shake it out.

-He likes to read! His favorites are mostly nonfiction. Biographies (not autobiographies) and other works of an educational nature are preferred, but he has been known to pick up some poetry every now and again. This is due in part to not having finished school and thirsting for all the knowledge he wasn’t allowed.

-He treats learning about his loved ones like reading these books; they are a list of facts and stories to be memorized. Small exceptions to any major preferences can be confusing for Aesop to keep track of, but in general he is very good at committing people’s likes, dislikes, and histories to memory.

-He doesn’t really care to celebrate his own birthday, but likes to help others celebrate theirs. The kitchen is far from his preferred workspace, but he’s actually a decent baker when the situation calls for it. The cake decoration….well, he’ll leave that to someone else. But the cake itself will taste good!

[sabo-has-my-heart]

hey I’m a new follower and I saw that you take emergency fic requests . I was wondering if you had time to write one for me. I’ve been feeling horrible lately because my dad and step mom have a horrible drinking addiction. Also my biological mom and step dad can’t do anything about it. I also feel really guilty even though I know I shouldn’t because, I’m scared of my dad and step mom. My biological parents refuse to have a normal conversation and always yell and my anxiety flares up when they fight. And like any other person in high school I’m getting made fun of because my body is changing so could you write a comfort fic about Muichiro??? (only if you have time ofc)

pronouns are (she/her)

could you pls write a comfort fic

thank u so much for reading this

(Only except if you have time pls)

My first Demon Slayer Fic!!! 😱. Okay, so! First of all, I would like to say I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It sounds very rough. Second, since you didn't state what kind of comfort fic, I used what you're going through (to the best of my ability). Third, if you don't like this, shoot me off a message, I'll try again. I'm still pretty new to Demon Slayer, so there's still a lot I'm figuring out (I can't find the manga online and buying it will be expensive.

Warnings: alcoholism (father), hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1340

     Sitting on the floor of the training room, you watched your beloved boyfriend train against some of the newer demon slayers. Well, perhaps watching wasn’t the best word. It was more like you were staring at him train while your mind wandered to other thoughts. You’d originally been waiting for him to end his training, the two of you planning on going on a ‘date’, but his training had taken longer than usual. You understood, of course, demons were getting stronger, upper moons had been taken down, training was necessary. Besides, your date could wait, it wasn’t time sensitive. Most of your dates consisted of a peaceful walk through a garden, watching koi fish swim in a cute pond, and eating onigiri as you watched the clouds float by. It wasn’t exciting or adventurous or particularly active, but you both enjoyed the peace, quiet, and tranquility of your dates.

     Felling a tap on your shoulder, you refocused on what was in front of you, your cute, slightly doe-eyed boyfriend kneeling in front of you, his head tilted adorably to the side.

     “Oh, hey. Are you done training?” you asked, smiling lightly at him.

     “Hm? Oh, yes. I’ve been done for a little while now…. You seemed deep in thought, so I didn’t want to bother you, but it’s been 20 minutes and you were still staring off into space.” Muichiro’s words, admittedly, startled you a little, staring at him in surprise as his head tilted to the other side. 

     “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so distracted. I just have a lot on my mind. Do you want to go?” you asked, trying to shake of your previous thoughts. While Muichiro looked forgetful, a little sedated, and perhaps a little air-headed, he was a hashira for a reason and was more perceptive than he let on. He’d seen you look sad, angry, upset, happy, thoughtful, worried, confused, but this wasn’t any of those. It was a look you tried to hide from others, one he knew well but hated.

     “You’re… not happy. You have that look on your face again. It’s your parents.” you sighed, your long haired boyfriend hitting the nail on the head as usual, “What are they doing this time?”

     “It’s…” you wanted to say it’s nothing, but you knew Muichiro would see right through it, he always did, “my dad had been… drinking a lot more lately. I… I just… I’m scared. I’m scared of him. How can I be scared of him? He’s my dad, I shouldn’t be afraid of him. I tried contacting my mom, but there’s not much she can do. She comes over to pick me up, but they just… they start yelling at each other!” you pulled your knees close as you buried your head in your knees, feeling the tears start to gather in your eyes. Muichiro’s eyes softened as he sat next to you, wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you closer.

     “I… I don’t know if it’s okay, but I’m here for you, alright? You don’t have to be afraid because I’ll always be here for you. Even if your parents fight, I’m sure they… Well, I’m sure your mom loves you. She always seems like she’s trying.” Muichiro stared up at the ceiling, contemplating his next words. In all honesty, he wasn’t even entirely sure what to say. What could he say? That everything would turn out well? That he knew for absolute certain that both your parents loved you with all their hearts? That nothing bad would ever happen? He couldn’t lie to you like that. At least, not that big or obvious of a lie. He wanted to; he wanted to tell you things that would make you feel better, but how could he? How could he say those things when they were so blatantly false? Taking a deep breath, he pulled you closer, holding you tighter as you wrapped your arms around him. 

     Despite how he acted sometimes, he was always warm, always comforting to you. He could be cold, blunt, apathetic, and uncaring towards others, but when it came to you, he was always warm, welcoming, and soothing. 

     “I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless and powerless and guilty. I can’t stand it.” Muichiro could only hum thoughtfully as he listened, stroking your hair as he comforted you.

     “You don’t need to feel guilty. Your father is always very drunk. It’s fine to be afraid of him. I think… it would be stranger if you weren’t afraid of him. Come on, let’s go to that one tree. I think it will help.” Muichiro gently pulled you up with him, making you smile. You knew the tree he was talking about and you were pretty sure he had a point. It was a large tree that received enough sun to warm you up on cold days, had enough shade to keep you from getting too hot, and surrounded by soft grass. Even the ground was nice, never too hard or too squishy. It was perfect for relaxing, napping, or watching clouds. Never particularly loud or chaotic.

     Sitting down next to Muichiro, a small, content smile spread across your lips, your head resting on his shoulder.

     “This is my favorite place to be. I always feel so happy here.” Muichiro said softly, gently petting your head.

     “It is nice. It’s peaceful and relaxing, the sound of the leaves swaying in the breeze is nice too.” you said softly, feeling yourself calm down.

     “I meant being with you. You’re… hmm… I guess you could say that you make me happy. I never feel angry or sad when I’m with you. I think… If I could wish for something, I would wish that I could always make you feel the same way when you’re with me.” Muichiro said just as softly, tilting his head over to rest it on top of yours.

     “That would be a waste of a wish, then. You already make me feel happy. Whenever I’m sad or upset, you make me feel better, you make me smile.” your smile widened slightly, taking another deep breath as you continued to take in the peaceful moment. “Muichiro, do you think one day everything will be okay? I’ll be old enough to move out, I won’t have to deal with my dad anymore, maybe get a job of my own.” you stared up at the clouds as you thought about what might happen in the future, about getting away from your father and living your own life.

     “I don’t know, but I hope it will. I’d really like it if you could be this happy all the time. We could just sit here and watch clouds without you being sad.” Muichiro paused for a moment, staring up at a particularly fluffy looking cloud, “it’s okay if you get sad sometimes, I’m happy to make you feel better, but I don’t like seeing you upset or sad or angry. I’d like it if you could be happy more often.” Muichiro said with a soft sigh, still staring up at the clouds. He really did hope everything would turn out alright; all he really wanted was your happiness. Closing his eyes, Muichiro smiled softly, his head still resting on your head, he always wanted moments like this to last forever. Moments where the two of you were all that mattered, where you were simply happy, nothing bad was happening. No demons, no drunk father, just the two of you resting in the peaceful shade of a tree on a nice day. He’d have to make sure that became, at least somewhat, of a reality for the two of you. He liked that thought.

     “It… it’ll all be okay. Everything will turn out okay.” he said softly and for once, he believed it. He wasn’t lying or saying something he didn’t know if it would happen. For once, he truly believed it would be okay. He’d make it okay, for you.

[betterbooktitles]

Guillermo del Toro owns a second home that only has his stuff in it. Though the 59-year-old filmmaker is married with children, he keeps an entire second house to himself and fills it with frightening sculptures, inspiring pieces of art, toys, books, and movies, all of it his own curation. There are no kid’s drawings on the fridge, no side tables picked out by his spouse. It’s his personal playroom. He does most of the upkeep himself after a housecleaner broke the finger off one of his statues. He refers to it as a “man cave” or the “Bleak House” and often spends time alone writing there. Del Toro claims his wife likes it and has always supported his childhood dream house. She also prefers that his horrifying decorations don’t impede the aesthetic taste of the home they share as a family.

Having an entire home as a creative man cave that I am entirely in charge of would sound perfect to me if it weren’t for the fact that owning one home has become a nightmare even the best horror director could not fully capture on film.

I know I am lucky. The stats on Millennials owning their own homes are (if you will) bleak. But whatever I thought was irritating me in the city wasn’t nearly as bad as the physical and mental work required to live in a house. It drains bank accounts and my will to do more than one thing per day. When I was young and lived in New York, I scheduled my days like a CEO or politician: meetings, lunches, podcasts, and stand-up shows all crammed together to the minute as if I could teleport between venues. Now, if Wednesday morning includes a Home Depot run and a painting project, realistically, I’m not doing anything after that until Saturday. The laundry list of what needs to be fixed or maintained in the house grows every day. In the winter, there are rooms I simply don’t use because of a draft I can’t fix. In the summers, the yard becomes something we have to actively fight against lest new trees and mushrooms and 6-foot tall weeds that resemble stalks of asparagus take over everything. The current issue is a dead tree blocking a path to the backyard because wisteria vines are pulling it to the ground. It’s the fastest I’ve ever seen a plant move outside of Evil Dead.

Though we struggle to keep up with our checklists, my wife and I have ambitions for the house outside of general maintenance. We’d like a bigger kitchen, a functional garden, and a fence that looks like a stiff breeze wouldn’t knock it over. The house is fine without these physical flourishes, but the fantasy is always there, nagging whispers in the brain of how nice it could be given unlimited time and resources. That nagging gets into my head about a whole house devoted to my creative dreams.

When I fantasize about what I’d like most if money and time were no object, I find myself thinking about a home theater. Unfortunately, money is an object, and the “fun budget” was consumed by the “necessities budget” a year ago. We already replaced the furnace and AC, dug up tiles in the den, painted nearly every room, replaced doors, one of which was rotting the wood at the edges because it hadn’t been replaced since 1986, the year I was born. Still, the list grows. A dedicated line to the kitchen needs to be added by an electrician so the fuse doesn’t blow whenever I use the toaster and the electric kettle at the same time. The fence and what it nominally protects behind the house needs to be reworked before bunnies consume everything that isn’t a weed. The ancient carpeting needs to be ripped up, bathrooms need to be redone by professionals so my body can actually fit comfortably inside one. Walls need to come down to make living spaces seem less like hallways, and the bay window on the second floor that appears to be melting toward the ground needs to be addressed by a professional architect before the wind rips it off the bedroom wall like a giant scab. After all of that is finished, I’d still need to move into a newer, much bigger house if I want to have a home theater. 

Where did the yearning for a private theater come from? Unlike Del Toro’s childhood fantasy of having a house all his own, my wish for this extravagance came much later. I was 30, and I remember exactly how the seed was planted: Zillow. I spent hours on the site, letting the mortgage/insurance calculator tell me what I could afford for the same amount I paid in rent in Brooklyn. On my phone’s screen, I saw a $400,000 mansion in my wife’s hometown outside of Pittsburgh that was the most beautiful house I’d ever seen. It had high wood ceilings and multiple fireplaces to make the whole giant house feel like a cabin. I had 8 bedrooms and a home theater. Imagine, I thought, how good a movie must be in a theater in your own home. Imagine the parties with friends. Imagine movie nights where you force your kids to watch Back to the Future for the first time in a close approximation to the space where you saw it. Playing an old cartoon and a few YouTube’d trailers from the 80s. A little popcorn machine in the corner. Speakers that are way too loud. The dream.

I’ve realized recently, however, how silly the longing for a home theater is for me specifically. I don’t like watching sports at home. I need the atmosphere of screaming people either in the arena itself or in a bar. I need the game to be live. I need to be out among strangers or friends. I feel the same way about movies. I need other people with me, laughing, crying, gasping, clapping. 

Read the rest here.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

A for Effort [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (Google) (Center (@hotch-girl) Right (@archaic-stranger)

Prompt: A meet-cute of how Aaron met the non-BAU reader at Penelope’s theater improv group show. And how Aaron accompanies the reader to host her Halloween extra-credit horror movie watch and discussion for her students. 

Pairing: Hotch x fem presenting reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns. 

Category: Angst/fluff/comfort 

Word Count: 8.2K 

Content Warnings: Canon typical violence (unsub drugs and beats teenagers, Hotch takes a beating, awkwardness, mention of being cheated on (reader’s boyfriend cheats on her with a best friend), mention of separation, light drinking, unwanted touch (a guy is handsy with the reader), vomit is mentioned (in the context of the film The Exorcist), religious themes, mention of intimacy (sexual touch over the clothes) If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: This one is just me having fun. I did give my students extra credit where we watched a horror movie and discussed the elements of the film. I couldn’t help but picture Aaron there with me, so I wrote this. I teach English but I’ve made this story that there could be a plethora of subjects. I really like the meet-cute element of this story. It was fun to write. If you like this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. Below I have included some cultural definitions for my international readers. If you’re from the States, especially the South and you know what dance halls and cotilion are, then feel free to skip this. I just want to make sure my readers feel included. Please know I am not good at line dancing or swing dancing - I do ballet to this is not my personal dance style. Lastly, before I sign off, you can vote for the next Aaron story you want from me at this post (linked). I hope you have a great night - Love Levi

Definitions

Dance Hall: An enclosed space with a dance floor, a stage for live music, and a bar (normally). The space is pretty age-inclusive and most music is country. Couples and singles come and often mix and match partners. Some people go to show off their skills here. The dances are normally line dances or swing dancing which relies a lot on improv. The lighting is normally dimmed, though not as much as at a nightclub. 

Cotillion: Essentially manners class. These can be after school or on the weekends. It’s associated with the debutant circle and court. 

List with all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_l/n_ = your last name

_y/l/g/s_ = your local grocery store 

_y/e/c_ = your eye color. 

_y/f/a(s)/s_ = your favorite art (or science) subject - aka English, film, art, psychology, etc. 

_y/u_ = your university 

_y/s’s/d’s/b_ = your subject’s department’s building 

Aaron sat down in the second to last folding chair with a very small grunt. The sound was so quiet that Spencer, who was on his right side, didn’t even notice that he had made it. The last case had seen Hotch tracking down a stalker who was preying on teenage girls, drugging and beating them severely before dumping their bodies on the steps of their parent's houses to be found the next morning. Aaron had experienced the strength of the forty-seven-year-old unsub as they had sprinted down an alleyway. The team had gotten to the fifth victim just in time. With Rossi, Spencer, and Emily taking care of the teen, Aaron and Morgan gave chase on foot. When both met a crossroads, each took a path. Aaron took the sidewalk to the left. Using all of his strength, Hotch had been able to catch up to the unsub. When they reached a dead end, the power balance changed. The unsub, Kevin Leery, realized his only means of escape was fighting his way out. The man quickly turned before Aaron, who was now pretty winded from all the running, could pull his sidearm. Hotch had been victorious, though, by the state of his aching body, he might not say so. Rossi had called the paramedics for him. The medics assured Rossi and the team, more than himself, that he would be fine in a few days. That there were no broken bones, just some bruised ribs, and a pretty battered left hand. Aaron’s attention shifted as there seemed to be movement behind the small curtain that was waiting to be raised. Hotch was glad for this distraction. He needed his mind on other things than his body. When Garcia had taken up improv as a hobby, the whole team was on board. Especially Morgan. Derek, at least twice a week would say, “Now Babygirl, when do we get to see a performance?” Penelope would blush and say, “When we’re ready. You can’t rush talent, and the whole troupe is still getting everyone else's vibe.” Aaron would give a small smile that he tried to hide when he overheard these conversations. Improv felt like the perfect art for his technical analyst. When the first performance was announced, Garcia printed fliers and invited the whole team to come and watch the show and then grab dinner afterward. Everyone had joyfully agreed. Aaron had marked the date on his personal calendar over a month out. He ensured that Jack could be at Hailey’s that day. The anticipation grew as the one-night performance loomed. Garcia had said a few things about breaking the fourth wall and audience participation. Hotch was sure that whoever was picked wouldn’t be him. Garcia knew him too well to let that happen. Part of him wanted whoever was making that choice pick to Derek. He thought it would be fun to see his friend on stage attempting to play an act. And Aaron knew that Morgan was easy-going enough to play along with whatever the group had him do. 

Aaron’s thoughts were pulled from the curtain and any movement that may or may not be going on behind it as someone tapped his shoulder and asked, “Sorry is this seat taken?” Hotch’s eyes snapped to the woman who was standing in the small aisle of the tiny theater the improv group had rented out for the evening. Aaron’s gaze looked into the inquisitive face of the stranger, and he said, “Yes, I mean no, No it’s not. Feel free to sit here. Sorry.” Hotch wasn’t sure why he was being stuttery all of a sudden. Most of it was probably because the woman who was now settling into the chair very close to his was incredibly beautiful. However, what Hotch told himself was that this mystery woman was holding flowers and he wasn’t. Hotch stopped himself from face-palming. He had forgotten to bring flowers for Penelope. He would profusely apologize after and then pay whatever amount he needed to get a florist to drop off an arraignment when he got back home. The woman next to him with some trepidation given his recent slip. She made one final shift, as she set her purse and the flowers on the ground in front of her and pulled out the program for the two-act play. While doing this, she inadvertently brushed her thigh up against his. Aaron felt a rush through his body at the contact. Very quietly the woman said, “Sorry.” Hotch looked over, and she was looking at him as if she was making sure he was alright for the unintended contact. Hotch gave a small nod and said, “Don’t worry about it.” After the contact, the person sitting next to him seemed to be the only thing he could focus on. She had pulled her legs and body tight into the chair, to not touch him again. The light scent of her perfume washed over him with her body heat. They were just an inch or two apart, and Hotch couldn’t help but observe her as she flipped through the program with an interest. To not seem weird or be caught staring, Aaron looked to his right at the team. If Spencer had noticed his odd behavior, the boy-wonder wasn’t letting on. But when Hotch’s eyes moved one chair over, Rossi looked at him with eyebrows raised. This time Aaron couldn't stifle the sigh that he let out at seeing Dave’s expression. His best friend on the team was always on to him about lighting up. About living a little. Aaron always rebuffed these comments. He thought he lived plenty -- and nearly died in the field more than that. All of these conversations, stated or unstated, had started a respectful time after Hailey had left him. Hotch was sure Rossi, and the whole team had seen that his marriage had been crumbling as much as he did. Maybe they saw it before he did. If they had, they didn’t say anything about it apart from Dave, and one very kind comment from Emily. Prentiss had asked him one day late in the office, “Are you alright, Aaron?” It was a hypothetical question, and he replied, “I think I am. Thank you for asking, Em.” They had left it at that. Aaron still thought about that comment sometimes. There was a small movement from the companion to his left like they had heard his sigh and stilled their movements because of it. Aaron willed himself to not look back at the woman. Thankfully the lights dimmed and the curtain raised. 

The play was about a man who worked at an office and was slowly losing his mind. The program said the idea was loosely based on the short story, “Bartleby the Scrivener” by Melville. Garcia played the perky secretary who was always badgering the lead about this private life. The play was funny. The dynamic between the actors was natural as they riffed off each other and the confines of the small narrative being built between them. As the first act ramped to conflict with the lead, a youthful-looking man with a mustache broke the fourth wall and said, “But Maddison," which was Penelope’s character’s name, "there’s something I haven’t told you. I have a fiance! And they’re in the room with us” The small crowd in the room all took an intake of breath at the revelation. Suddenly everyone in the small assembled crowd looked at each other. Penelope said, “Well get her up here this instant! I’ve got to meet her. She must be mental if she’s in love with you.” There was a second that with bated horror, that Aaron thought the lead was going to point at him. But the man’s pointer finger pointed at the woman sitting next to him. All eyes turned to her. Aaron could see her deflate a tiny bit. As the man on stage said, “Come up here, beloved. Come and meet the source of my madness.” The woman got up and as she moved toward the stage, he guessed that the protagonist hadn’t informed her beforehand that this would be happening. In the back of his mind, Aaron thought, “What a dick move.” The man helped the woman up onto the stage. She was wearing a skirt, and she was more careful that she didn’t flash anyone as she was hoisted up on the stage than the man helping her upward. At seeing this, something small in Aaron twitched up comfortably. When the woman was on stage, Penelope rushed forward and hugged the woman. Aaron could see that Pen had also seen what he had. Hotch could see in Garcia’s embrace both an act and a real gesture of comfort. Garcia pulled back and asked, “So, you’re cooped up with this old bat all hours of the day and night? How are you coping with that?” There was a tense silence while the audience waited for the woman to respond. The lead moved toward the woman, and his right hand found purchase on her lower back. The woman seemed to lean into the touch. Aaron immediately assumed that the two were a couple. It would make sense if the mustache man had picked her. The silence persisted. It lay heavy over the crowd. It became awkward as the woman looked at the man and the audience. Her eyes shone with anxiety. Finally, the man said, “Have nothing to say about me, darling?” At this, finally, the woman said, looking directly, intently at the man, “Oh sweetness, I could go on and on, and on about you. I just don’t think your friend would like what I have to say.” As soon as that line was uttered, the curtain fell, signaling the short intermission. 

The crowd cheered and applauded as the cast and the woman were veiled. Aaron could hear Emily and JJ, and Derek and Rossi’s conversations about the show so far. They sounded so happy. As Hotch offered a comment to Spencer about the intricacies of Melville’s writing and how it related to the performance, he couldn’t help but think how the woman, when giving her one line had been acting as well. But some small part of her tone had indicated that it wasn’t all an act. That fact gnawed at Aaron like a dog on a bone. The intermission was short, only about fifteen minutes long. As the minutes ticked by, Hotch waited for the woman to return to her seat. After what felt like an eternally long ten minutes, she reappeared and moved down the row to her seat. Hotch offered her a hand as she steeped with high heels around her purse, program, and flowers to take her seat. Aaron looked at her closely as she sat. It was clear to Aaron that she was less joyful than she had been before the show had started. The woman’s makeup was smudged a bit, and he wondered if she had been crying during the brief break. When she was seated, Hotch removed his hand and the woman, very quietly said, ‘Thank you.” Aaron nodded and replied, “Of course.” The man had mentioned engagement on stage, and he couldn’t help himself from looking for a ring on her left hand. He found none. His wedding ring sat heavy in a box on his bedside table, reminding him of his personal shortcomings. For one tiny moment, his heart ached for his woman. Whatever it was she was going through. Aaron rarely allowed himself to have these extraneous emotions, but in the here and now, he couldn’t seem to stop them. The repetition of the lights dimming and the curtain raising once more stopped any further thoughts on the matter. The second half of the play was as funny as the first as the lead slowly lost his sanity and refused to leave the office, even under the direct order of his boss. Subliminally, Aaron felt called out at that element of the storyline. When the play ended there was thunderous applause and a standing ovation was given to the cast. Everyone slowly filtered out of the room and Hotch noticed as the woman moved to the front of the stage and kissed the lead on the mouth, handing her flowers over to him. Aaron turned his head away at the moment of intimacy between the couple. Something about what had happened during the play didn’t sit right with him, but who was he to comment on relationships? 

At the dinner after the show, Pen was showered with the praise she deserved. When things had quieted down, Aaron had over-apologized about not bringing flowers, and Garcia had wholly forgiven him. He asked in a more subdued voice, “So the lead, Richard, he chose who in the audience got called up on stage?” Hotch tried to sound nonchalant but wasn’t sure if he was being convincing. Garcia didn’t seem to notice, and replied, “Yeah. He called his girlfriend, obviously. I’ve had a few conversations with _y/n_ before and after rehearsals. She’s really sweet, and too good for Rich if I’m being honest. I don’t think she appreciated being called out like that.” Aaron nodded as a few more pieces seemed to click into place in his mind. The night wound down, and Hotch managed to get some flowers to Penelope around midnight. It might have cost him $83.75, but it was worth it to get Pen’s text, with a picture attached of the bouquet thanking him profusely. Pen included every flower emoji available in the message. As Aaron got ready to sleep, his thoughts shifted to the woman. He thought back to Garcia’s comments and remembered her name: _y/n_. As he drifted into sleep, he hoped that she was alright. She was happy. 

Neither _y/n_or Aaron expected to see the other ever again. But they did a month later. Hotch was doing his weekly grocery shopping at _y/l/g/s_. The person in front of him in line for the check-out had a scant four items on the conveyor belt. The items were a bottle of wine, some strawberries, a bar of 75% dark chocolate, and a dozen pink roses. Hotch sighed softly and thought, ‘At least someone’s having a good time tonight.’ As the woman who looked oddly familiar to him got to the cashier, they rifled through her purse to find their credit card. She softly said, “Shit.” The cashier told her her total of $25.47. The woman said, “I’m sorry I forgot my wallet in my office. Please just put everything back. Sorry for the inconvenience.” At hearing the woman speak, Aaron recognized the voice of the woman who had sat next to him at Penelope’s performance. The woman seemed to be ready to leave, but Aaron stopped her and said, “I’ve got it.” The woman looked over at him and recognized him immediately. _y/n_, “Oh, No. You don’t have to do that.” Hotch gave her a reassuring smile and replied, “Really, it’s no problem.” He added, “You did very good while onstage by the way. You handled it with grace.” The woman flushed. She said a soft, “Thanks.” After a second, she extended her hand and said, “y/n_, _l/n_.” Aaron took her hand and replied, “Aaron, Hotchner.” _y/n_’s palm was warm in his hand. Lost in the moment, and the woman’s eyes. Hotch asked, “Date night?” At hearing this, _y/n_ seemed to cringe a little bit, and he wondered what he had said wrong. From the small assortment of things _y/n_ was attempting to buy, date night seemed to check out. Date night with Rich, as Pen had said last month. Hotch stopped from sighing at the idea. The woman replied a beat later, “It’s a pity party, actually.” Hearing this, Aaron’s eyes furrowed. _y/n_ quickly clarified, “Let me reframe that in a more positive light. I am taking myself on a date.” There was an awkward silence after that statement and a more awkward cough from the cashier. Aaron stepped up and pulled his card from his wallet in the back left pocket of his jeans. Once he had paid for _y/n_’s groceries, the cashier started scanning his items. The young employee had started to put his groceries in the same bag as _y/n_’s items. Aaron thought about saying something, but he stopped himself. The young man working the till seemed flustered, and he didn’t want to add to the man’s distress. It would be okay if he paid for both groceries and their groceries, and then he could separate _y/n_’s items from his own. _y/n_ stood nearby, tentatively. Once Aaron had paid for his things he grabbed another plastic bag. He shifted through his own items to find _y/n_’s. As he put the four products into the new bag, he had to ask, “‘Pity party?’” Hotch missed the large flush and look of shame on _y/n_’s face as she said candidly, “My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend.. Rich. He kinda cheated on me with my best friend. It’s a whole thing.” Hotch couldn’t help himself from cringing at her honesty. At how painful that must have been for _y/n_. All that Aaron’s brain could supply was a soft, “I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to pry into your personal life.” _y/n_ shrugged her shoulders and said, “I mean, all of my friends and colleagues know. I don’t know why it would be much worse with you in the loop too. Plus you bought me my stuff and I appreciate that.” Aaron flushed again saying, “It’s really nothing given the circumstances.” He held his tongue after that. He had already said too much. Hotch couldn’t figure out where his brain went when he was near _y/n_, but it wasn’t his normal calm and composed self, that’s for sure.

Aaron let _y/n_ go to her car to not hold her up from her ‘date night.’ The recesses of Hotch’s brain wished he could get in the car with _y/n_ and join her in whatever activities she had planned for herself that evening. Hotch reprimanded himself for the thought. _y/n_ had just experienced a real pain, a hurt to the soul, and here he was longing after her like a puppy looking for some attention. For a pat on the back. Using more effort than he wished he had to, Aaron let the moment, the feelings for _y/n_ go. He had to for his well-being. He was certain that it was just fate that he and _y/n_ had bumped into each other twice. As Aaron drove back to his place and unloaded his groceries into his fridge, he found the receipt from the store. The four items from _y/n_ stood out at the top of the waxy paper. Again, he let all of those emotions, which he refused to address, go. Aaron fiddled with the buttons on his shirt and then took off his pants, as he moved into his bedroom. He decided to take a shower to clear his thoughts. Maybe to get another kind of relief that he had been missing since Hailey’s departure. Under the cascade of warm water, Aaron let go with his body and, as he began to dry his form with a warm towel, he cleansed his mind of impure thoughts. He wanted to sleep with an empty mind. One that wouldn’t make him feel guilty. As he drifted off, Hotch hoped _y/n_ had also found some kind of release that night. 

Another month and a half passed before they had their third meeting. It had been the worst team bonding training of all time. The presenter had cheery slides and made high-school-level references to trust and honesty between team members and cohorts. JJ, Rossi, and Morgan had all looked at him with clear disbelief at what they were being subjected to in the hour-long training. When the presenter mentioned something about a trust fall, Aaron almost lost his cool. He could deal with many things, the long hours, the gore he saw weekly, the stress of leading the team, and his eyestrain, but he drew the line at being forced to endure this. He looked over his team with eyebrows drawn taught. When he looked at Garcia she was laughing unabashedly. The presenter was looking at Penelope unsure of himself. Aaron shot Garcia a look that said, “Please, stop now,” even though he wanted to join in on the hilarity of the situation. Once the team had been released from the presenter’s lecture, Hotch gathered the team and said, “Well I promise you all, that…” He gesticulated with his hands, demonstrating, that training, “will never happen again. If you want some real team bonding let's go to that dance hall Emily keeps trying to get us to go to tonight.” Hearing this Prentiss flushed, but she had been saying that it was a really good time and it was. Emily had had a few great evenings at the new dance hall. After a moment of silence, Rossi said, “Here, here. I for one need a stiff drink after whatever that was.” The whole team seemed to relax after this. At eight-thirty, the team arrived at the venue. The space was large and the lot was full for a Tuesday evening. Everyone had changed except Aaron, who had come straight from the office. He had ditched his jacket in the trunk of his car. His suggestion had been an attempt to take Rossi’s advice to lighten up. As soon as he entered the crowded space, he realized that he had miscalculated. Everyone on the floor, those seated at the benches and tables on the sidelines, and those getting drinks at the bar were dressed very casually. His slacks and loafers didn’t belong here. As a way to deflect from making him the odd man out, Aaron offered to get the first round of drinks. As he got the orders from the team, he moved to the bar, and some of the BAU members, Emily, JJ, and Morgan, found partners and moved to the wooden dance floor. With a slew of drinks in tow. Hotch moved back to his friends and colleagues. Rossi, Penelope, and Spencer took a few sips, as they watched the dancers move to the country music. Aaron knew that this was mostly a Southern culture thing, but he understood that dancing was a universal pleasure, even if he wasn’t particularly good at it. His mother had signed him up for cotillion classes in high school and he reluctantly went every week for a month. His mom had wanted him to grow up the perfect gentleman, and even though he maybe hadn’t picked up all the dance moves, he thought he succeeded pretty well at the rest of it. 

As the songs changed there seemed to be some excitement at the center of the floor. A couple was dancing with skill and the other dancers gave them room to improvise their steps and tricks. It was showing off for showing off’s sake. As Aaron looked over the pair on the floor he recognized the woman as _y/n_ from the play and the store. His eyes widened and Hotch looked at Penelope who was also watching _y/n_ with rapt wonder. Aaron turned his eyes back to the floor and the woman was pushed, pulled, dipped, and raised in a multitude of ways and speeds. As _y/n_ was raised in the air, supported by strong arms on her hips, a few cheers came from the crowd and fellow dancers. The woman even waved her hand in acknowledgment of the praise. Uplifted and in the spinning lights, she looked so happy, like she didn’t have a care in the world. Unlike her time on stage, she looked like she belonged up there, floating on air. Hotch felt himself flush all over and he looked away for a second. Rossi watched Aaron’s reaction with more than a little interest. After the song was over there was a small bit of applause at the skill put on display for the crowd. The talented man that had been dancing with _y/n_ kissed her on the cheek chastely. From what Aaron could see, the two were just friends or maybe dance partners, but not much more. Of course, he couldn’t hear what _y/n_ said to him, but as she turned toward Hotch’s group, there were no signs of arousal in her face or body, just unabated joy. Aaron hadn’t seen her this happy before, and he flushed again. Aaron internally told himself to ‘get a grip.' _y/n_ walked toward their table, not noticing them yet.

As she got closer Penelope called out for her saying, “Hey _y/n_, what a surprise to see you here!” The woman looked up and spotted Garcia and beamed. _y/n_ quickly moved over to the huddle of FBI agents and said, “Heya, Pen. What are you doing here?” _y/n_ looked over Rossi, Spencer, and then at Hotch. Her eyes grew a bit wider at seeing him and she said, “And you…” It took her a moment to remember Aaron’s name. When it came to her, she continued, “Aaron.” _y/n_ looked between Garcia and Hotch and asked, “Y’all know each other?” Penelope, ever the enthusiastic conversationalist said, “We all work together. This is my team.” Garica pointed to each of them saying their names. Spencer smiled at _y/n_ when his name was mentioned and Rossi shook her hand warmly. As Aaron’s name came up, _y/n_ gave a soft smile and she said, “It’s nice to see you again, Aaron.” He swallowed and said, “It’s nice to see you too.” And it was nice. To see her so radiant made him feel good. _y/n_, Garcia, and Rossi talked a bit about her dancing abilities and she seemed to shy away from her talent. Garcia couldn’t help herself and asked, “Did you ever take Richard here?” Hotch froze for a moment, unsure if Garcia was aware of the breakup. _y/n_’s soft snort made him feel better as she said, “Are you kidding me? He refused to come because I was better than him at dancing and other people wanted to interact with me. All four pairs of eyes were on her as _y/n_ shared some of her personal life with them. For a team of highly skilled profilers, having someone be so open was a bit strange. Penelope helped cut the feeling and said, “Of course he wouldn’t. The man really needs to get over his own ego. He complained about you and whined for a mouth at least during practice. He still talks about it. Honestly, he’s pathetic.” Garcia saying this had _y/n_ laughing and replied, “Tell me about it. I wished I’d seen it sooner, but c’est la vie I guess.” Penelope nodded along, and after a moment _y/n_ said, “Well I’m going to grab a drink at the bar, but I’ll swing by later if you’re still around. It was nice to see some of you again, and to meet you, Dr. Reid and Dave.” The team all said some form of “see you later,” as she moved away from them. As she passed Hotch, he gave her one of his rare smiles, or more like she had drawn the smile from him. Again Rossi noticed. 

Three songs later _y/n_ was back on the dance floor with a much less skilled dancer. The man had his hands all over _y/n_ after the first minute of music and _y/n_ was constantly moving his hands up, or stopping them from moving lower. She had said twice and to “cut it out” but the man was not listening to her. Hotch and Rossi watched as it happened. Both men felt uncomfortable with what was happening. After another minute, _y/n_ pulled back and away from the man, telling him off. Her face was set in a more sour look as she moved to the sidelines and away from her temporary partner. The man sought to follow her, but Hotch was out of his seat as he watched the situation unfold before him. Rossi breathed a sigh of relief as his friend did this because he was about to do the same and he felt that _y/n_ might be a bit more comfortable with Aaron than himself. Hotch cut the man off from moving any closer to _y/n_ and said with a clear, firm, and determined voice, “Out. Now.” The man didn’t argue and Aaron wasn’t sure if it was his fancy dress or the look on his face, but either way, the man left. Hotch followed him with a searing glare until he left the establishment. Once the guy was gone, he turned to _y/n_ she looked at him with half awe half admiration. He couldn’t pinpoint the second emotion, but it wasn’t negative and that’s what mattered to him. He took two steps closer, getting close to her. He leaned down a bit and asked, “_y/n_, are you alright?” When he looked at her this closely he could see a warmth in her _y/e/c_ eyes. She nodded and said, “I’ll be fine. Unfortunately, that kind of behavior can be par for the course here. Asking total strangers for a dance means not all of them are fantastic people.” Hotch nodded, saying, “Well it still doesn’t make it right.” _y/n_ felt her breath hitch a bit as he said this. He said it with sincerity like he really meant it. _y/n_ had seen plenty of guys try to defend her honor or other cliches like that just to go and disrespect her themselves. She didn’t sense that at all in the tall man standing in front of her. _y/n_ was also impressed with his commanding presence. It had only taken two words to make the man flee the scene. Two. Words. She wondered what else he could do with his voice alone. _y/n_ flushed and looked to the floor for a second. The fact didn’t pass Aaron by. After a second, _y/n_ looked up at him and said, “Can I pay you back for your help with a drink or a dance? I haven’t seen you out on the floor yet. I’d be happy to partner with you if you like?” Hotch shifted a little, suddenly a bit embarrassed. He didn’t feel like another drink. He normally stuck to one or two, and he’d already had a second beer. He wanted to dance with _y/n_ but his two left feet didn’t seem too convinced that he could cut it with someone as skilled as _y/n_. _y/n_ could see his hesitation and said, “I can lead if you like. We can do just real easy steps.” Aaron looked at her and saw that she wouldn’t be embarrassed with him. She genuinely wanted to be with him like that. Hotch flushed again, more lightly this time, and he said, “Alright, I’ll do my best to not trip over my own feet.” _y/n_ chuckled as they took his hand and led him to a quieter part of the floor. A bit away from the team, which Hotch was grateful for; though he was sure the team was probably watching him. He didn’t blame them, he’d watch too if he could. 

The dance went well. _y/n_ turned out to be a skilled instructor for him. He did try very hard to follow the steps and let _y/n_ improv off his lacking moves. At one point _y/n_ even let him do a little spin, which was very awkward given how much taller he was than her. He had to let go of her hand to make the 360-degree rotation. They had both laughed good-naturedly at how silly it was. When he was being treated like this, Aaron didn’t mind not having control. After another song, the music took a sudden change from country and swing to slow sensual music. _y/n_ let his hands go and took a step back. Aaron looked around, not sure why there had been such a dramatic change. People were slow dancing now and he looked to _y/n_ for clarity. _y/n_ gave him a gentle smile and said, “The last hour is always slow music so those who don’t like swing dancing or line dancing get a turn. I think it’s nice. Inclusive in a way. Aaron nodded and said, “Oh.” He stood still for a moment. He looked to the ground for an instant wondering how he was going to ask if she wanted to continue to dance. Because he did want to keep dancing with her. When he looked up, she was looking at him. _y/n_ was biting down lightly on the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t see that her pupils were blown wide with desire. Her fingers were tapping against her leg lightly. _y/n_ wanted Aaron’s hands back in hers. Or behind her back while her arms rested on his shoulders. She wanted to be inexplicably close to him at that moment. Hotch didn’t say anything, didn’t need to say anything as he bridged the gap between them. His hands found purchase on her hips and _y/n_’s hand moved up to his shoulders. His hands glided over his chest softly. Aaron closed his eyes, and they both moved on instinct. With what was comfortable for them. _y/n_ melted into his touch, and his large hands gently landed on her body. They were warm and held her firmly like he was afraid that she might slip away if he let go. _y/n_ would be happy to reassure him that she would likely follow him to the ends of the earth even though she had only met him three times before. Aaron’s cologne smelled of rye and spruce, but it wasn’t the overpowering stuff teens and insecure men used with a heavy hand. This was refined. Elevated. It took a lot of what she had in her to not rest her head on his chest and take a deep breath. After two more songs, Aaron looked down at her and she seemed so at peace with him holding her close. And for the first time in a very long time, he leaped before he looked, as he leaned down further. He was slow, giving _y/n_ time to stop him, but she didn’t. Instead, she tipped her head up to meet his lips. The kiss was soft, respectful of how new and potentially strange this was, but neither could deny that the feeling was blissful. Hotch didn’t even care that JJ, Garcia, and Emily all had their mouths open in pure shock at his actions. 

_y/n_ and Aaron’s relationship moved at a normal pace. As much as they had both been drawn to each other the night they had first kissed, both parties wanted to give the other space. To make sure things were comfortable and natural. _y/n_ wasn’t the type to commit to anything without fulling thinking and feeling it out. Aaron was the same for obvious reasons. But they had found a love and care between them, along with a passion that _y/n_ and Hotch had pretty much expected given the events the night at the dance hall. They both learned about each other, their jobs, and the intricacies of their lives. And after all that _y/n_ still wanted him, and Aaron was amazed at how nice it was to have someone steady to lean on. To care for while he wasn’t working. Someone had loved him back as intensely. As it turned out _y/n_ lectured _y/f/a(s)/s_ at _y/u_. And because of this, he was driving toward the university campus in _y/n_’s car with her in the passenger seat. They were chatting about his day in the office. Aaron was recounting some stories of Reid’s and _y/n_ listened with rapt attention. Hotch was being careful with his driving as it was near the college, which meant freshman with cars they hardly needed, and those partying a little too hard on Halloween night. They got onto campus proper and _y/n_ directed him to the parking lot. He had asked her if she wanted to take his car and she had reminded him that she had the faculty sticker on her windshield and he didn’t. She teased, “I don’t even think your FBI ID would persuade parking services. They are relentless in their mission.” Hotch had laughed at this and she warmed at hearing it. Aaron’s laugh sounded like a river running over smooth stones to her. It was gentle and mellow. Once they had parked, the pair moved to the _y/s’s/d’s/b_. The doors were still open given that some grad classes were still being held. 

Three weeks ago Aaron had asked her if she was doing anything on Halloween and if she wanted to spend the evening with him. As _y/n_ listened to his question, she sighed and said, “I’m holding an extra credit opportunity for my students. We’re watching The Exorcist and then discussing it, but being with you sounds so nice. You could sit with me while we watch it and then hang out at my place after? That is if you don’t have Jack of course. Let’s not terrorize him so early on.” Hotch let out a breathy laugh and said, “Jack’s going to be with Hailey at some school trunk or treat event and he’s staying at her place to sleep off the sugar high. You’d let me sit in with you? In front of your students?” _y/n_ let out a little breath. She hadn’t expected him to say yes. She replied quickly, happily, “Of course I would! I mean most of my students know I have a partner, they might as well see you. And you can tell off students trying to canoodle while Regan gets possessed as have my eyes tightly shut.” Hotch chuckled and said, “Well I’ll leave the disciplining up to you, but I’m happy to be moral support and to calm your fear.” So they made the plans now they were walking the mostly empty hallways and up to the third floor. _y/n_ beeped into the faculty work room to print out the sign-in sheet and a guide for the most scary parts of the film for those who were like her; a scardey cat. As she moved into the small space and logged in to the computer, Aaron leaned against the door frame, filling the space. As the copies printed, she looked up at him and said, “I wish you’d follow me around all the time when I work. You could be a ghost haunting me.” Aaron smiled and said, “If I followed you around you’d soon learn that I’d fail your class. And we can’t have that, now can we?” The copies finished and _y/n_ grabbed them saying, “I’ve seen your writing, Aaron you are more than competent.” Hotch moved out of the way and his hand found hers as they moved to the lecture hall. _y/n_ had reserved the space because she expected a good turnout, the screen was large, and the audio system was reliable. _y/n_ asked Hotch to prop open the door with a chair. While he did this, she moved to the technology at the front of the room to the left of the lectern. _y/n_ signed into her Amazon and pulled up the film, checking the audio levels and turning on the closed captions for those who might need them. Aaron moved to _y/n_ and offered to take her purse for her. She smiled and nodded and he moved to the back of the room. He sat down near the center of the row. He called out across the space, “This good?” _y/n_ nodded and said back in a clear voice that carried in the space, “Perfect sweetheart.” 

_y/n_ continued to stand at the front of the room and after another minute or so some students started to ramble in. _y/n_ instructed them to sign in on the sheet near the door. Many of the students had brought friends, roommates, boyfriends, or girlfriends along for moral support, or to laugh at the scary bits. _y/n_ had some casual conversations with some of the students and Aaron watched on with admiration. It was clear to him that _y/n_ had a connection with these young adults trying to figure life out for the first time. A few of the students noticed Aaron sitting at the back of the room, but none of them said anything to him or sat near him. It finally hit 7:30 p.m., and _y/n_ said, “Alright everyone, thanks for coming out. Let’s get going with the movie so you can all go out to the square or you’re older friends’s parties I’m not going to hear about on Thursday. Remember we’re paying attention so we can answer questions after.” Hearing this, the kids let out some laughs and chuckles. _y/n_ nearly forgot about the guides and said quickly, “Does anyone want a sheet with timestamps for the scares? Any other wimps out there like me?” There was silence and _y/n_ laughed at herself and said, “Alright guys, but don’t blame me when you have bad dreams tonight.” With that, _y/n_ started the film and moved to the door. She removed the chair and switched off the lights so the only light remaining was the two glowing exit signs on either side of the room. _y/n_ moved back to him and took a seat on his left side. It was dark and they were in the back, so she slipped her hand into his He gave it a gentle squeeze. True to her word, _y/n_ did close her eyes during some of the more difficult points of the movie. Now and then there would be some quiet chatter from the students. Some got up and opened the door to use the restroom. One student made it back to them to say they wanted to leave early to “go to their dorm.” _y/n_ smiled at the girl and said, “Okay, just make sure you’re signed in.” The teen nodded and said, “Thanks. See you Thursday.” At the end of the film, as Father Karras passes away, Hotch looks over _y/n_’s face. Her eyes were a bit misty. She had warned him that she got emotional at the end. She had looped him in because she didn’t want him to worry that she was so scared that she was crying, or crying for some other unknown reasons. As the credit started rolling, _y/n_ wiped her eyes and she moved to the front of the room.

She paused the movie and said, “Alright everyone, shield your eyes, the lights are coming back on.” Once the lights were on and everyone could see again, _y/n_ moved to the side of the lectern and leaned against it. She started by saying, “I’m going to make this quick because I’m sure there are places you want to be that aren’t here, and because I’m tired.” Hotch half knew that she wanted to be with him too, and it made him smile. _y/n_ asked, “So, what’s the tone of the film?” There was a brief silence, but then a young man said, “It’s camp.” That got a laugh from everyone and then opened the door for the class to bounce some ideas off each other. They spoke about theme and religion, and whether Regan or Chris acted as the final girl. They talked about Father Karra’s characterization and story arc. _y/n_ helped lead the conversation,  but let her students talk and express their views. She asked, “So we’ve read the novel and seen the film and talked about the religious symbolism and overtones. So tell me what in the film is transubstantiated?” At this, there was a lingering silence. One girl offered, “Regan’s vomit?” _y/n_ chuckled and said, “Close, anyone else?” Aaron couldn’t help himself, because he also wanted to know the answer, so he said, “Is it Regan herself?” His comment reverberated to the front and twenty-one pairs of eyes turned to him. Hotch felt called out, but _y/n_ pulled the the student’s attention back to her by saying, “Yes very good. Now I can’t claim anything about authorial intent, but in my opinion, Regan is transubstantiation a literal transformation of her body and blood.” 

_y/n_ quickly wrapped up the extra credit after that. A few minutes later Hotch and _y/n_ were back outside and headed to her car. They had stopped her her office for her to pick up a stack of papers that needed to be graded. Aaron smiled when he saw a picture of him and Jack pinned to the wall next to her degree. He leaned down and kissed her gently. As they pulled back, he said, “I love you, _y/n_.” _y/n_ hummed happily back at him. In the cold night, they moved across the campus grounds. It was dark and Aaron wrapped an arm around _y/n_’s waist, pulling her close to him. They passed by one of the emergency stations which looked to be broken. He looked down to _y/n_ and asked, “You keep a taser on you when you’re here at night, right?” _y/n_ looked up at him and said, “I carry pepper spray. I haven’t gotten a taser yet, but I will.” Hotch nodded as they walked into the parking garage. Aaron had done loads of research about the safety of the university once _y/n_ had told him where they worked. He had seen too many cases on college campuses to not be concerned for _y/n_’s safety. When they got back to the car, Aaron opened the door for _y/n_. She settled in and he moved to his seat. He turned on the heater and they cruised out onto the street. They talked a bit about the film, and Aaron asked why she cried at the end. What it meant to her. _y/n_ did her best to explain the real love and sacrifice Karras made to save Regan. How seeing Pazuzu restored his faith. _y/n_ made sure to clarify, “Even if a person doesn’t have faith, or that type of faith, I think pretty much anyone can see that he was finally at peace at the end.” Aaron nodded along, listening to her intently. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Hotch asked, “So, how did I do Prof? Was my answer to your question actually right?” _y/n_ chuckled and said “I think you were right. Regan’s transformation was literal and it was the answer I was hoping for.” She looked over Aaron, his face lit by the streetlamps and dashboard. He was so beautiful to her and she added, “I give you an A for effort.” Hotch smiled at her comments, saying, “I’m happy to help. And hey, an A. You’ll make a good student of me yet.” 

When they got to her place, they moved to the front door and _y/n_ pulled her keys from her purse and let them in. The bowl she had left out that had been filled with candy was now running low, and even though it was late, there weren’t going to be many more kids. _y/n_ moved to the counter and dumped more candy into the container. With that done, she locked the door behind her. Aaron and _y/n_ moved to her room and kicked off their shoes and socks. They changed into comfy clothes before crawling into bed. Three months into their relationship, they both kept a few pairs of clothes in the other’s space. In the bed, they were next to each other, the back of _y/n_’s head resting on his chest, her body positioned between his opened legs. Hotch’s hands moved over her chest and torso before moving lower slowly. He watched _y/n_ in the soft light of her lamps. Seeing her like this, seeing her care for her students, and for him made him nuzzle his face in her hair. It smelled of vanilla. As Aaron’s hand moved to a more intimate place, _y/n_’s intake of breath told him that she enjoyed what he was doing. She had told him many, many times that he was skilled in that area. The thought of her praise had him excited in his pants. Hotch asked in a low voice, full of desire, “Do you think I can get something more for my insightful comments than a hypothetic A?” _y/n_ squirmed a bit with pleasure before moving out between his legs. She moved to face him and kneeled in front of him. As her hand started moving over him and he let out a groan, she said, “For you Aaron, I’d do anything.”

______________________________________________________________

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[angelsmooches]

hiii ur works are so good omg i’m obsessed!! could i plz request barbatos fluff where he’s teaching mc how to bake bc there is absolutely not enough wholesome barb content out here lol—thank u!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

★﹐black cloud cakes ．﹑

synopsis: barbatos gives MC a crash course in baking.

wc: 2,391

genre: fluff

warnings: none!

a/n: I LITERALLY LOVE BARBATOS SO MUCH OH MY GODNUIBHYGVYFC THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING THIS o(≧▽≦)o i’m so happy that my first request is for one of my fav characters ugh barbatos doesn’t get enough love. PLUS i absolutely love baking so this was so much fun writing!!

     no matter how many times you visited it, the demon lord’s castle will always be an intimidatingly grandiose sight to see. with its countless towers, its towering walls, all shrouded in darkness, you couldn’t help the ominous feeling that spread through your veins.

that ominous feeling always dissipated as soon as you stepped inside. with how often you’ve been here, it began to feel almost like.. home. much like how the house of lamentation feels. you wandered about, passing the magnificent staircases and the shining pillars, walking down hallway after hallway until reaching the one room you were looking for in particular.

every single surface in the kitchen always shone with pride. strangely, the kitchen had become one of the rooms you were most comfortable in here at the castle. it carried many fond memories that you always smiled at the thought of. 

“good afternoon, barbatos!” the butler turned towards the sound of your voice, smiling in greeting.

“good afternoon, MC. i’m glad you could join me today. come, i’ve just finished laying out the ingredients we are to use.” barbatos gestured towards the numerous bags and containers in front of him, then pushed a recipe book towards your direction. “this is what we are to be making. please read over it.”

you skimmed over the page before looking back up at him dubiously. “we? as in you and me? i’m not so sure about that, barbs. i’ve never really baked before, i’ve only watched.”

“precisely, you’ve watched,” he said. “you’ve watched me countless of times baking assortments of desserts. surely you’ve retained some information, yes?”

he had a point. everything that was in the book were things that you already knew just from observing barbatos in his element.

“i mean, yeah, but... what if i burn down the castle?” 

barbatos chuckled at your pessimism. “i highly doubt that. have confidence in yourself, MC.” he entrusted the whisk he was currently holding over to you. “would you mix the chocolate and the butter together while i beat the egg whites? thank you.”

hesitantly, you took the whisk from barbatos’s gloved hand. he offered an encouraging smile before turning back towards the pile of goey clearness that you assumed were the egg whites. 

“may i ask why we’re making this dessert in particular?” you asked, the whisk gliding through the dark mixture. “if i remember correctly, these cakes are massive. why would you want to bake one if you didn’t really need to?”

“the young lord has invited quite a number of people over today, and he requested that i create something special for them,” barbatos replied.

you turned this information over in your mind, adding the cocoa powder into the mixture. “and another thing, why not ask luke to help you instead? even if luke refused, i’m pretty sure you could do this without anyone’s help.”

barbatos was quiet for a moment, his cheeks tinged a subtle shade of pink. “i desired your company. baking with you is always an enjoyable experience.”

“thanks, barbs,” a smile blossomed across your face. “i really enjoy baking with you, too.”

a comfortable silence overtook the room, the sounds of whisks scraping against bowls filling the empty space. your bowl had been thoroughly whisked within a couple of minutes. barbatos, on the other hand, was still occupied with getting the egg whites to form soft peaks. not wanting to break his concentration, you simply decided to examine your surroundings, your eyes naturally drifting towards the demon in front of you.

it was obvious that barbatos took his title as pastry chef very seriously. every single pastry that he baked was the result of meticulous work, and this pastry would be no different. he would carefully add a small amount of sugar, whisk the eggs, then add more. his brows were furrowed ever so slightly, as if he were counting every single grain of sugar that entered the bowl. you found it endearing.

“may i ask why you’re staring at me?” barbatos’s question popped your little bubble, grounding you back into reality. his cheeks were once again that warm shade of pink.

“ah, sorry,” you awkwardly looked away, the mental image of barbatos’s baking face making you inadvertently smile. “it’s just.. you put a lot of time and effort into everything you bake. i admire you for it.”

 the normally calm and composed butler seemed caught off-guard by your response. it’s true, he’s heard this from many other appreciators of his pastries, but hearing it come from you was entirely different. “you have no idea how happy that makes me. thank you, MC.” with one last test, barbatos lifted his bowl and brought it next to yours. “excellent job. i couldn’t have done it better myself. would you please whisk the egg yolks and the hell poison honey while i mix these two?”

you did as told, bringing over your bowl back over to barbatos, who took it with a ‘thank you’ and poured it into the main bowl. he methodically folded it over and over, taking great care not to move too fast.

“barbs? i have another question.” he hummed in response. “why don’t you just mixed the whole thing? it would be a lot faster.”

“are you getting bored of me already, MC?” he mused.

“n-no! it’s just—”

“i’m only teasing,” a playful smile overtook his features. “but to answer your question, i’m taking my time to prevent the mixture from deflating. it wouldn’t be a black cloud cake if it didn’t have a cloudy texture, now would it?” barbatos poured a little bit more of the egg whites into the main bowl, repeating the methodical folding process. you hoisted yourself onto the counter, idly kicking your legs.

“talk to me, barbs. it’s too quiet in here,” you complained, folding your knees into your chest. “c’mon, quiz me!”

“if you insist,” barbatos decided to give you an easy one. “what temperature should we preheat the oven for a black cloud cake?”

your mind blanked. “oh, crap... uh.. 350 degrees?”

“fahrenheit or celsius?” barbatos’s teasing smile showed itself again.

“fahrenheit.” you replied, biting back the urge to add an ‘obviously’ at the end of your sentence.

“excellent. if you wouldn’t mind, could you please preheat the oven now? i’m just about done with this bowl.” barbatos folded it a few more times as you turned the knob on the oven, making sure there were no unmixed pieces hiding in the abyss-like mixture. you lifted yourself back up onto the counter, the two of you waiting patiently for the little ding! that the oven would make. 

you hummed a tuneless song while barbatos folded the mixture a couple more times just to be safe, the ding! of the oven echoing through the shiny room. without hesitation, barbatos opened the oven door, slid the cake inside, and closed it back up again. the first time he had done this in front of you, your jaw dropped from the shock. barbatos rarely wore oven mitts, but then again, he didn’t really need them.

“is something the matter?” the butler always seemed to notice every little change in expression that gave away your thoughts.

“no, no, it’s nothing,” you shrugged off the unease. “could you just wear mitts every once in a while? i’m scared you’re gonna burn yourself one of these days.”

barbatos laughed at this, leaning against the oven. “it would take quite the oven to burn me.”

“what if i gave you oven mitts?” you suggested. “would you wear them?”

the hypothetical made barbatos strangely happy. “i would gladly wear anything you gift me.”

barbatos could certainly be a teasing nag at times, but he could be a sweetheart when he really wanted to be. though you haven’t put it together yet, barbatos only shared these moments with you. the more you two spent time together, the more barbatos found himself feeling more drawn towards you. he had no idea when or how a human became so important to him.

the sound of your sigh broke off barbatos’s thoughts. “what should we do with all of the excess ingredients? we still have a whole bunch of that liquid chocolate, we didn’t even use the flour, and there’s still some sugar and eggs. do you think we should bake something els— oh!” the feeling of something slimy slid down your hair and onto your back, causing a shiver to wrack through your body. 

“i have a vague idea of what i would like to do with the excess,” barbatos replied, smiling cheekily. a broken eggshell was in his hand.

“barbatos! what the hell was that for?” despite wanting to sound upset, you couldn’t hold back the bubbly laughter that came out with it. you quickly took another egg from its container, aiming for his head. the demon was far too fast for you, instantly catching your wrist before your egg could come into contact with him. “cheater.”

barbatos only gave you that same mischievous smile, his arm easily overpowering yours, using your own hand to crack the egg onto your head instead of his. you used your other hand to reach in back of you, grabbing a fistful of flour and ruffling it into his hair, barbatos releasing your wrist in surprise.

“ha! karma!” you grinned. barbatos’s smile only grew wider, adding a more sinister tone to it. aw, crap.. you had unintentionally started a food fight. barbatos would more than likely finish what you had begun.

 you squirmed past the butler, careful to maintain your distance as the two of you began throwing all sorts of things at each other. clumps of butter, streaks of melted chocolate, handfuls of sugar and flour, pretty much whatever you two could get your hands on. you ran all around the kitchen, using the island as a sort of barrier between you and barbatos, who looked nothing like he usually did. his neat hair was disheveled and white from the powder, his apron was stained with chocolate and butter, and he was absolutely enjoying himself. this was, by far, the most fun he’s ever had with baking, and to be sharing this experience with you only added to it.

in one swift motion, barbatos slid across the island and grabbed hold of your wrists in one hand, the other hand menacingly holding a handful of dripping chocolate.

“wait! wait!” you cried out. “truce! please! i give up!”

barbatos smiled triumphantly. “what was that? i’m not quite sure i heard you.” his hand drew closer and closer to your hair.

“truce! i give up!” you yelled, hanging your head in defeat. “i’m no match for you, barbs..”

barbatos withdrew his hand, although he did not let go of your wrists. his eyes scanned your face, your clothes, before glancing around the room. “oh, dear. it appears that we’ve made quite a mess,” he looked down at his own clothes, smiling almost chastisingly. “what am i going to do with you? it’s hard to be upset when you look so adorably funny.”

you two couldn’t help but erupt in a fit of giggles, barbatos’s hand traveling from your wrists to your shoulders. “look at you, you’ve even got chocolate in your hair.”

“and whose fault would that be?” you retorted, barbatos reaching up to gently pull at the strands of hair covered in chocolate, tucking the strands away neatly. 

“i’d have no idea whose fault that would be” he replied innocently, his fingers combing through your hair before settling on either side of your cheek. your giggling fell silent, the intensity of barbatos’s gaze sending a painless jolt through your body. barbatos couldn’t bring himself to look away from your face, drinking in every single feature. drips of egg yolk on your forehead, a smudge of chocolate on your cheek...

“you seem to be quite the messy eater, MC,” he teased, his thumb softly caressing your cheek. your eyes narrowed at that, earning another laugh from the demon. “you have a chocolate stain on your cheek. allow me to clean it for you. stay still, please.” you locked your joints into place, afraid that if you moved even a fraction of an inch you might scare away barbatos or something. slowly, carefully, barbatos leaned in, pressing his lips to the smeared chocolate. the feeling of his tongue gliding against your skin made you shudder.

he pulled back to look into your face, blinking once, twice, then smiling apologetically. “please pardon me. i don’t know what has gotten into me as of late. i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“no, no,” you replied hastily, your hand moving to lay atop his. “it’s fine... thank you.” another comfortable silence blanketed over the room, except this time, it felt more.. intense. as if the entire room was filled with electricity. your cheeks stung without pain where barbatos held them.

“i’m not the only one with stuff on their face,” you grinned, cupping barbatos’s cheek and turning his head slightly. “you have chocolate right... there.” your thumb brushed against the corner of his lips, the demon’s eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. “please, allow me to clean it for you.”

barbatos fully turned his face towards you, a tender smile curving his lips. his thumb brushed against your cheek once more as the two of you slowly began leaning into each other, the warmth of barbatos’s chest seeping into your own. 

gradually, barbatos’s face drew closer and closer to yours, your lips only centimeters apart.

his sweet breath fanned across your face..

ding!

the sound of the oven made you both jump, your cheeks becoming overwhelmingly warm underneath barbatos’s touch. barbatos didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“it appears that the cake is done baking,” he said simply.

“...yeah..” was all you could say. “you’d better.. go get it before it burns.”

“that would be the wise thing to do.” he still didn’t move an inch, his eyes piercing into yours.

barbatos's loving touch made your brain feel fuzzy. your grip on his sleeves grew tighter. “i’m sure diavolo’s guests wouldn’t mind a little crispiness to their cake, right?”

“i believe it is called black cloud cake for a reason.” he agreed

barbatos pressed his lips onto yours without a second's delay. he found that you tasted sweeter than any pastry he's ever created.

©2023 please do not repost, modify, or claim as your work.

[philaet0s]

WIP Wednesday

I need to free myself of the shackles of my Capri fic and write more Carry On stuff but I CAN'T. I'm reading Capri fics at the moment which makes it Worse. Oops.

Let's start with the Carry On-related stuff anyway

Natasha/Malcolm

Malcolm

“You seem very organised,” she comments. 

“Really? Would you repeat that on a call to my mother?”

She chuckles. “You’re cutting corners, Malcolm Grimm. It’s far too soon to introduce me to your parents.”

I freeze, the door to my wardrobe half-open. “That’s not what I… I only meant…”

“I know what you meant. You’re cute when you’re flustered. May I take a closer look at your books?”

“Hm… Yes, sure.”

She won’t see much. I’ve forced myself to keep most of my books at my parents’ place, so that I have little distraction in my room here. I work more efficiently that way. I hope it doesn’t make it seem like I don’t read. I believe that’s something Natasha would not see in a positive light.

I try to focus back on my task, but hearing her moving around in the small space of the bedroom makes it difficult. Did she feel that way too, when I was in hers?

Probably not. A bedroom is less intimate in dim lighting, when two bodies meet on a mattress. She’s seeing more of me here as she takes in my belongings than I saw of her when she was naked underneath me in her room.

(I do realise that those extracts I've been posting make it look like half of Malcolm's POVs are him reminiscing the fact that he and Natasha had sex. I promise it's not. Man's just being particularly horny in that moment of the story)

Post-canon Lamen

Jord loved his job. But he did not get paid enough for whatever this was. 

It was hours past the end of his workday. He should be in bed, resting. Instead, he was following the Prince of Vere, dressed up as a woman, into the streets of the unfamiliar city of Ios.

He did not even speak a word of Akielon! 

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. He knew a few words. Hello. Goodbye. Exalted. Kyros. Stop. Prince’s orders. And the strings of insults he had learnt from the Akielon guards, of course. Definitely not enough to feel comfortable out and about, alone with the most important man in Vere, at night. 

“Your Highness, I would really appreciate if you could tell me what is going on.”

The prince looked at him over his shoulder. Something mischievous and juvenile was glinting in his eyes. It made Jord want to sigh.

He often forgot his prince was merely a boy of twenty. 

“I want to have fun, Jord. Aren’t you sick of being stuck in that castle?”

“After the weeks we spent on campaign? In truth, my prince, I cherish the chance to be stuck in a castle. It makes my job much easier.”

Except when Laurent decides to go and have fun. 

“Jord, you disappoint me. I thought you liked a thrill. Isn’t that why you fucked Aimeric?”

(Jord does NOT get paid enough for this)

[velvetwastaken]

Afterdeath - A Ganqing Fanfic

Author’s Debrief

First off, I feel sooooo pretentious writing this, LOL. But I figure people who don’t care won’t read it, and if they do care, I can only hope they’ll find it mildly interesting.

And so, without further ado, let’s take a peak behind the curtain of this fic!

I first started writing this all the way back in May of 2022. And in the beginning it was very much a way for me to express my own feelings of grief. If Ganyu’s pain in the early chapters felt real, it’s because it is. It’s how I felt, how I sometimes still feel, and how I observed others around me feeling and behaving. The difference is that in Afterdeath, Ganyu gets to do what we in reality cannot. She got to right the wrong in a sense, she got to quench the burning feelings of injustice that so often come hand-in-hand with sudden and unexpected loss.

And that’s part of the beauty of fiction, isn’t it? Sometimes it allows for unreality to feel just a tiny bit real, if only for a while.

I’ve gathered that writing like this might be some kind of psychotherapy? Maybe that’s true. I wouldn’t say that writing this fic helped me overcome my grief. I don’t think grief works like that. It’s part of me now. It always will be. But I think it did help me compartmentalize it, to put it in a space and into words that I can more comfortably handle. So that’s something.

But whatever this fic started out as, it quickly grew to be more than that. And part of that is why I made the choice to post as Anon. I think most people know my writing because of Reversal. And Afterdeath is a whole other beast. Reversal is great, I love it to bits, but it got far more attention that I ever dreamed it would, and I ended up putting a lot of pressure on myself not to disappoint people. And if they were to open Afterdeath expecting more Reversal, they would be VERY disappointed, lol.

But I learned something during this whole writing and posting process: I do not care. Or rather, I am learning to not care. I will write the things I enjoy writing and the things I would want to read myself. Others can read it or not, and that’s okay. I am still happy to share my writing, even if I end up the only one entertained by it. It’ll still be enough.

This fic also has a lot of firsts for me. I have never written something this long. Or with this rating, LMAO! And, if I’m honest, as challenging as it was at times, it was fun to push myself and see what’s possible. I will not claim it’s prefect, or even anywhere close, but It has been something of a confidence booster. And as silly as it feels, I am prodigiously proud of myself for writing—and finishing—this fic. And yes, I fully intend to typeset and bind it for myself because I am that just self indulgent LOL!

I also want to thank everyone who followed along, reading and commenting as I worked on this over the last year. A few people guessed it was me posting very early on, and their support has been instrumental. So THANK YOU! I couldn’t have done it without you.

I am always happy to talk about my fics, or ganqing in general, so if anyone has questions or whatever about anything, my inbox is open.

But now, it’s time to work on some of my other WIPs! Wish me luck lol.

— Velvetwastaken

[jinxhallows]

I searched it but couldn't find anything about it, but why are you only including 5 member for kinktober?

ayee thanks for stopping by to ask! nobody has ever asked so I never explained 😂 so I got into writing in this fandom like about a year and a half ago and had no idea what I was doing and kinda just spat some shit out (that I now absolutely hate lmfao 100 follower special, anyone? That fluff was garbage IMO)

I don’t write Felix often/at all because I can’t quite understand his personality enough to feel I can articulate him authentically in writing yet. Also he’s kind of juvenile in a way that reminds me of a younger sibling, making it tough to slut him out. I’m always so impressed by smut Felix writers. They capture him well! I know something freaky is lying under that golden exterior. But I’m working on it! I write about him in my other two full length fics but unfortunately, I don’t think my portrayal of him is very accurate at all. But I keep going because well, it’s already started lol.

I don’t write Seungmin yet because I’m still learning about him and his likes/dislikes and mannerisms and personality. He’s the one I know the least about. All I know is that folx call him a puppy. I don’t think I’ve heard him speak as much as I have in the recent chuseok specials. I know he’s a little terror though, lol, unsure of the origins of it though.

I don’t write IN for the same reasons as above, but lately, he’s been portrayed in a way that’s making me consider roping him in the future into something fun. Someone who met him in person said he seemed the most masculine and adult out of all the members! Surprise surprise! The baby bread shit was off putting. I was like, I’m not slutting out someone with the nickname “baby bread”; but my mind is changing, and fast lol.

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Why do I write the fellas I write? Aka my “starting team”?

I’m most comfortable writing Chan, he’s closest to me in age and I watch him enough to know his mannerisms and personality. Down to little things like his obsession with space, the way he laughs through his teeth, and his lopsided smile when he’s being a dork. Chan doesn’t like coffee, so in one of my imagines, I made it a point to state the reader was making coffee for herself. If I read someone who has Chan drinking coffee I’d assume they either took creative liberty or have no idea that this man does not fuck with coffee lol. Fun fact: add “yeah?” To the end of a question/statement and it immediately rings Chan’s voice in your mind, doesn’t it? “Guess you’ve got a lot to think about then, yeah?” “How about we head on out to the bar, yeah?”Those details really can make/break someone’s immersion!

Next comes Hyunjin. Hyunjin was difficult for me to write at first, his personality is so multi faceted and not much like his stage persona at all, which is quite powerful! But the algorithm started forcing him onto me in candid situations and I began to understand his nuances too. I grasped an understanding of his micro expressions and mannerisms enough to feel confident writing him.

Third is Lino! I swore against writing Lino because he was such a mystery to me! I later found a video of him being weird and his quirky personality and deadpan affect when saying certain things. He reminds me of some of my closest friends. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t give Lino enough depth! I’m an experienced Scorpio wrangler, and I know he’s got some intense depths to that ocean that can be portrayed so much better. Working on it!

Fourth favorite is Jisung. I use Jisung for light hearted things and comic relief. I almost never write angst Jisung. I probably could, and probably will one day! But for now, I’ve only candidly seen him happy and funny, it’s sometimes hard to even write him in smut because I can’t see him taking much of anything seriously. I know he has bad anxiety and other various mental health concerns, so he’s not all rainbows and butterflies but he doesn’t seem to let folx in on that side of him often, if at all, so it’s difficult to imagine for me right now, so for him, I keep it light.

Fifth newest favorite is Changbin. Changbin is still a little confusing to me but I can at least pinpoint his manner of speech, he can be quite aggressive quite suddenly, in a playful manner. I’m still not too great on describing his mannerisms in literature, but I’ve grown comfortable enough to experiment with him for Kinktober.

-

So you see, my cool beautiful anon, it’s just a matter of time until I work my way down to the rest of the members :) at first, I swore I’d only write Chan, and then it exploded into five. I’m certain by next year’s kinktober, all eight members will be rightfully represented :)