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leviskokoro · 4 years

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summary｜The espionage group consisting of Mari, Grimm, Ruggie, Leona, Kalim, and Jamil are in need of assistance in order to pull off the plan to take back the magic stone stolen from them by fairies. Fortunately, help has arrived in the form of a worldwide supermodel.

word count｜3385

credit goes to @wakaoujisenhime for giving me the idea to write this!

“Are you saying these guys will be performing during the fashion show? Perhaps you mistook it for a vegetable competition.”

“Puppies, it’s time for training!”

“You guys are…!”

And with those words, Mari knew they were in for a ride. Then again, she did expect this to happen as soon as the Headmaster had explained the situation to her. It seemed like it’d be fun, like an espionage mission for the spy movies she used to watch in her world. How exciting!

“Vil! And Sir Crewel!” Kalim exclaimed with a grin.

“With our support, you guys will definitely become the stars of the fashion show,” Vil spoke as he gazed at the group with a judgemental glint in his lilac eyes. He glanced at the teacher beside him, smirking. “Right, Sir Crewel?”

“Of course, Schoenheit.”

The both of them chuckled.

“The two most troublesome people are here,” Ruggie said, ears folded and eyebrows furrowed.

“Jamil, you asshole. Do you know what you’ve done?” Leona growled, glaring daggers at him.

“I also thought this was a tough decision.” Said boy wore his usual level-headed expression. “Top model Vil and fashionista Sir Crewel. If those two coached us, we could beat this challenge. But in order to make this show a success as amateurs, I could only seek help from them.”

“There’s no one better suited for the job than them,” Mari spoke up, shrugging. It was true. Vil was the one that had always been seen working relentlessly to maintain his beauty and Sir Crewel was known for his talent when it came to fashion. It was impossible to think of anyone else that would rival them in their fields in NRC.

“As expected of Scarabia’s dorm head, he’d do literally anything to achieve his goal. How amazing…” The hyena muttered under his breath.

“Distract the queen-- No, distract the entire audience then snatch the crown away in the meantime. “The title of this operation will be “Monopolize both the crown and their attention”! I will make this a success!” Vil exclaimed, a smirk of pure confidence on his handsome face. The girl often wished she had just an ounce of his self-confidence. Maybe then life would be easier for her.

“Ugh, what a pain…” Leona grumbled.

“Alright. First of all, you guys should have matching costumes,” Crewel told them.

“Would that include us? Ruggie, Grimm, and I won’t really be participating in the fashion show,” Mari asked, raising her hand as if she’s in class.

“Of course! You may not be part of it, but you still need proper clothes in order to sneak in,” he answered. “Entering a formal venue with dirty fur is unacceptable for my puppies.”

Right. Good point.

“Be grateful. I’ll make the most exotic and most exquisite costumes of all time.” Their teacher smirked. “I’ll be the one to make you guys stand out the most!”

And so it had begun. The group had been subjected to wearing countless fabrics to find the perfect one to use. Crewel got to work designing their costumes.

Bursts of sparkles enveloped them, then dissipated to reveal them in the costumes their teacher had designed for them. Everyone was dressed in pristine white clothes with floral patterns and flowers in their hair.

“How’s that? You could clearly see a bunch of puppies with gorgeous fur.” Crewel was satisfied with his own work, smiling at them.

“As expected of our teacher,” Vil commented, also smiling in appreciation of the craftsmanship. “The color is not too outstanding in order to draw out their own beauty, very stoic and kinda mysterious. The endless longing for the unknown, that is the true meaning of exotic.”

“Hmm. It’s easier to get along with someone who understands fashion like you,” the teacher said, glancing at him.

It’s nice that they were enjoying themselves, at least. Mari giggled lightly as she twirled in her dress. The light fabric was easy to move in and felt comfortable. If they ever needed to run, it wouldn’t hold her back at all. Their teacher probably considered this. She looked at the mirror to see how she looked and it’s fair to say that his work was amazing. It made her feel… otherworldly. She already was from another world but to look the part was a different matter.

“We’ve tried on different clothes again and again…” Jamil crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. His lips pulled downwards.

“I’m already tired and training hasn’t even started yet,” Ruggie sighed, closing his eyes. His ears were folded.

“Is that right? Designing costumes is always like this. Right, Leona?” Kalim spoke up, turning to the beastman prince.

“Kind of…” Leona crossed his arms as well, seeming disinterested in the situation.

“I think the trouble was worth it. Sir Crewel certainly did a fantastic job,” Mari commented as she stared at the floral lacing that ran across her waistline, fingers delicately tracing over it. A small smile graced her lips.

“It’s too early to be relieved,” Vil told her. “If the people wearing these clothes don’t act in a proper manner, the silk shirts they’re wearing might as well just be sack rags.”

“To become the center of attention on the fashion show, we must have some sort of performance.” He smiled. “A gorgeous walk with a gorgeous performance. Both of these are necessary.”

“First, I’ll have you guys show me your style of walking.”

Leona smirked. “All we have to do is walk? It’s so easy that I could do it in my sleep.”

Jamil rubbed his chin, a thoughtful look on his features. “If we’re too self-conscious, we might wander off at some point.”

Kalim gave a light laugh. It was as if he was the sun, radiating warmth. “No need to be nervous. Just relax and do it.”

Soon enough, the three were put to the test and let the model judge their skill.

“Very unexpected. I never thought that you could walk elegantly,” Vil said. “Impressive, Jamil.”

Said boy smirked. “It’s my honor to receive such praise from you, Vil.”

He turned to Scarabia’s dorm leader with a smile. “Kalim had a very noble posture. The education from your hometown has been beneficial for you.”

Kalim chuckled. “Is that so? Hehehe, I’m kinda embarrassed. Though, I only have great posture thanks to my love of dancing and not from the education I learned.”

“It’s true. Kalim had been learning traditional dances ever since he was a kid, while I took an interest in street dancing,” Jamil said, his lips pulled upwards. Nostalgia glinted in his eyes.

“I see. So that’s why you guys have such trained bodies.” Vil was clearly pleased with the two. Then, he frowned and turned to Leona, deciding to finally address the elephant in the room. Er, lion in the room. “Compared to that… Leona, what’s with your lame walking?” He glared at him.

“Ah? It’s the same as those Scarabia guys.” He closed his eyes, crossing his arms.

“It’s not the same at all. Jamil’s light step, Kalim’s nobility. You have neither of those,” he berated him, giving him an icy glare. “Your feet are dragging along the floor and you have atrocious posture. Your head was swaying as you were walking. It feels like your shoulders are cutting through the wind. It’s very boorish!”

“The title of prince sounds incredulous to me.”

“How ironic that the feline can’t catwalk…” Mari mumbled.

“He literally just criticized Leona.” Ruggie’s eyes widened in shock.

“Schoenheit,” Crewel spoke up, “For a useless dog like him, shouldn’t we train him to walk on two legs first? If we let him be, it’d be like letting a newborn kitten walk on the runway.”

“Indeed,” the model agreed with him, a troubled expression on his flawless features. “Having Leona perform when he doesn’t even have the basis of walking is kinda hard. If we can’t handle both at the same time, then we should focus on walking.”

He sighed. “I hate to admit it, but he has a commanding aura that could make him the main model. It’d be a waste if we don’t utilize that.”

“Scarabia got 100 points for walking. So now, try challenging the dancing part.” Vil gave his underclassmen a pleasant smile. “You guys will have the role of making the festival livelier. Your performance could also make the shitty main model stand out more.”

“Ah, we must follow Schoenheit’s plan to fill the hole that Kingscholar built,” Crewel said.

“Leona is so hopeless. I wonder if the both of us can cover him well.” Jamil rubbed his chin in thought.

“Let’s do our best! I already promised Leona that I’m going to take care of him.” Kalim, the little cinnamon roll, had a look of determination on his face.

“As a student from Savanaclaw, I feel so ashamed. I’m so sorry that he’s such a troublesome leader.” Ruggie sighed.

Man, they were all roasting him so much. Mari bit her lip, trying not to laugh at the situation as she didn't wanna be mean to him.

“I could also be your coach on teaching you how to walk on two feet,” Grimm told him, smirking.

“You guys…” Leona growled, glaring at them. “The moment I stay quiet, you all really couldn’t shut your mouths.”

Then, Crewel hit him with his whip. “Stop barking!”

She flinched at the noise. Oof, that’s gotta hurt.

The teacher smiled and placed a hand on his hip. “Listen up, puppies. Take in Schoenheit’s lesson and finish up the most perfect show ever!” He ordered them.

“Come on. Immediately start the lesson for the Fairy Gala!” Vil smirked.

And with that, he started coaching the three performers. In the meantime, Mari and Ruggie decided to practice their part. She sat down on a chair, wearing a plastic crown that she pinned to her hair. It took them a few attempts to get it right.

“Wow, their performance is exquisite! I can’t help but keep my eyes on these mysterious fairies!” Mari exclaimed, doing her best to act her part as the fairy queen. It was difficult to keep herself from laughing.

“Got it!” Ruggie grinned, holding up her plastic crown that he swapped out. “Did you notice it?”

She shook her head. “That was perfect! I didn’t feel a thing. How long did it take?”

“Shishishi,” he did his signature laugh, “Only 6 seconds to take out the pins. Leona really thought that I’d need 10 seconds.”

“Great! Now all we need is for those three to get their act straight,” Grimm cheered and they decided to check on their progress, making their way to Pomefiore’s ballroom.

“It hurts,” Kalim groaned. “Sorry for bumping into you again.”

“Kalim, just now you were supposed to step forward. Timing is key,” Jamil told him in a calm manner.

“You have beautiful posture but you make too many mistakes when you swing your body that way,” Vil spoke up.

“When I get too excited, it’s hard to control my arms.” The white-haired dorm leader rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish expression on his face.

“And Jamil, you make no mistakes with your dance but it’s too perfect to the point that it lacks the atmosphere that would make the festival livelier.”

“Vil, thank you for your hard work. We came to see how practice is going,” Ruggie said, walking into the room with his hands resting behind his head. “Is our leader doing well?” He snickered, turning to Leona. They were greeted with a chaotic sight. Leona was balancing a couple of vases on his head and shoulders. Sounds of water sloshing around coming from inside the vases.

His eyes widened in shock. “What’s happened?!”

“Vil! Get these off of me!” Leona barked at the model.

“It’s a method for correcting your posture. You must walk around the room without pouring any water from the vase,” he responded.

“You bastard…!” Leona growled, before he got splashed with water. His clothes became soaked.

“Restart.” Vil remained calm, crossing his arms. “Don’t worry. We have plenty of water to refill.”

“AH I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! I QUIT!” The soaked beastman cried out. “I don’t care if it going to keep snowing, I can’t keep doing these stupid things.”

Ruggie sighed, his ears folded. He shrugged. “Leona is hopeless. Kalim and Jamil keep messing up when dancing. Can we really keep up when the day of the Fairy Gala arrives?” He wondered.

“If they fail to capture the audience’s attention, we’ll be the ones in danger when we need to swap out the crown.” Grimm wore a fearful expression, holding onto Mari for comfort.

Mari caressed her partner’s fur, contemplating what’s to come. “Maybe we should try a different plan…” She mumbled. But then again, it’s likely too late for that.

“No problem,” Vil reassured them, still oddly calm as ever. “I’ll bet with my model spirit that I'll make the “Monopolize both the crown and their attention” plan successful.”

“But how are you going to do it?” Ruggie asked.

A smile formed on his handsome features.

“There’s only one way to make this work.”

Then his face broke out into a harsh glare, piercing the souls of anyone who dared look directly into his eyes. “By being stricter! If I need to force your own body to memorize the correct posture, then I will beat them into you so that you can never forget!”

SMACK!

The three men screamed in pain and shock. Everyone’s eyes were wide open, including the stealth group.

“He’s using magic to slap their butts!” Ruggie exclaimed.

Vil crossed his arms, continuing to direct his merciless glare at them. If looks could kill, they’d be sent straight to the Underworld. “Three of you, stand up. From now on, if you sit down without my permission, I’ll have you squat 500 times.”

“Leona, place the vase on your head and redo it. If you pour it, squat for an hour.”

His expression turned into one of exasperation. “We can’t keep doing this if you don’t train your body.”

He turned to the two Scarabia students. “Kalim and Jamil, three-legged run around the school if either one of you makes a mistake. It’s a joint responsibility.”

“No way…!”

Leona glared back. “Acting all bossy… Just who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“Worldwide supermodel, Vil Schoenheit!” he shouted and used his magic to spank their butts once more. The force was so strong that it caused tears to come out of Kalim’s eyes.

“What a demon coach…” Grimm muttered under his breath and hid behind his supervisor.

Grueling training has begun for the three poor unfortunate souls.

Today was the day of the Fairy Gala. The group had been preparing, making sure that everything was perfect. Vil was applying makeup on them, his expertise in cosmetics was truly something awe-inspiring. He made sure to accentuate their best features and give them makeup looks to die for.

“It’s your turn,” he turned to the prefect, who sat on a chair in front of him. His fingers hooked from under her chin and tilted her head up to get a better look at what he’s gotta work with. She gazed back at him with curiosity sparkling in her eyes. He hummed for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Your inner beauty revolves around your motherly heart. So, I’d like to give you a more innocent and demure, yet mature look.”

The model got to applying the makeup. She followed whatever instructions he gave her while he did so. It was quite a pleasant experience getting her makeup done by him. As he worked, the rest of the group fixed their costumes.

“Where do I wrap this cloth?” She could hear Kalim ask from behind Vil.

“Give it to me. Just put it on your shoulder… Okay, done.” Jamil helped him out.

“Wearing these expensive clothes really got me feeling nervous… And itchy,” Ruggie mumbled.

“Just act natural and the fairies will think you’re one of them. Don’t be nervous,” Leona spoke up.

Vil stepped back to survey his work, seeing whether he was satisfied with it or not. He leaned in and added a few more finishing touches and a small smile pulled at his lips. He took a small hand mirror and showed it to her.

Her eyes widened in shock. She looked… ethereal. The overall style was more natural compared to the others as he didn’t want it to clash with the overall aesthetic of her costume. She had dusty rose pink strawberry-scented lip gloss that shimmered in the light and highlights only served to make her seem angelic. A delicate beauty that seemed out of this world. The true meaning of exotic.

He took everything into account and made a masterpiece. And it was enough for Mari to see herself as gorgeous, which she believed to be an impossible feat until now.

“I take it that you’re speechless at my skill.” Vil’s voice reached her ears. All she could do was nod in silence, mouth agape. He chuckled. “You’ve graduated from potato to beautiful fairy. At least, for today. If you worked harder, you could maintain your beauty.”

She looked up at him with a shining grin and sparkling eyes. “Thanks, Vil!”

After sprinkling fairy powder on her, he stepped back and allowed the rest of the group to see her. But if one were to look closer, they might’ve noticed the red dusting his ears.

“Everyone is so sparkly...” Grimm smiled.

“That is thanks to the needlework, but the effect mostly comes from the fairy powder,” Jamil explained.

“It looks really good on you guys,” Mari complimented them, chuckling.

“That’s my line,” Leona said, then turned to her. He eyed her up and down before he smirked. “Not bad for a herbivore, I guess.”

“Yeah, you look exactly like a fairy.” Jamil smiled, crossing his arms.

She couldn’t help but blush at the compliments, “Thank you…”

“Are you guys ready?” Vil asked. He gave them a firm glare. “If you lose focus now, our strict lessons will be for nothing. Look at the mirror, check your makeup.”

They all checked their appearances one last time to make sure everything was perfect.

“We started from an unsightly situation so I wasn’t sure if this was going to work.” He sighed, before a smile creeped up on his lips. “But I guess it’s not that bad after seeing the finished look.”

“Vil…” Kalim sniffed, before he wrapped his arms around the tall blond and embraced him. “VIL! Thanks to you, I can dance on the runway. I’ll do my best!”

“Don’t forget about the original goal,” he reminded him. His features softened up, a gentle smile on his face. It was rare to see him like this. “The mission is to get back the stone that the fairies stole from us.”

Aw, they looked so cute like that. After that little exchange, Scarabia’s dorm leader let go of him.

Vil closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “If we lose the magic stone, the usual school life will never come back again.”

He gave them a harsh glare. “Listen up, okay? It’s war on the runway.”

Then, he smirked. “Grab the crown and their attention with the greatest performance of all time!” His words were encouraging, filling the girl with a sense of determination. The fire in her soul burned brightly, undying.

“Alright!”

Vil looked out the window with an unreadable expression. He was confident in his ability to coach, so he shouldn’t have to worry about them messing up. At least, that’s what he told himself. However, something else was on his mind. It irked him to think that a magicless potato of a freshman would have such an effect on him. But he remembered the way she gazed at him with such genuine admiration. Her smile seemed to shine brighter than any star.

He was no idiot, and he was certainly not the type to deny his feelings. He knew exactly what he was feeling. Rook had always blabbered to him nonstop about this sort of subject. Not only that, but he was aware that he wasn’t the only one. Other men had been vying for her attention for far longer than he has been.

But no matter. He just had to show her why he’s the best option.

#vil schoenheit #twst vil #twst vil schoenheit #twst #twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit x mc #vil x mc #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #kalim al asim #jamil viper #twst grimm

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adamgeorgiou · 3 years

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Arthur, My Cousin and Me

I don’t know how to detangle Arthur from myself enough to write dispassionately or accurately. Instead, what follows is something like half him, half me. It’s more journal entry than elegy. To a general audience, that might make this less interesting than it otherwise could be, but it’s what I’ve got. Remember this if and when you get to the end.

Anyway…

I feel like I knew Arthur. Then I heard what others had to say and saw what others had to feel. Following his death, I still feel like I know him. In certain ways better than most or all. But there’s a part of me that’s often strained to believe that I was in more of his inner circle than I actually was, and his death exposed the truth of my position.

It’s a practical observation, not a dramatic one. I’m not saying he had a dominating and hidden alter ego or that he pitied me. It’s simpler: his death revealed my confidence in our bond as an illusion innocuously leftover from being kids together, from back when we actually spent serious time together. I want him back now like I’ve continuously wanted back what we lost long ago, but now it’s double-permanent and legible. Before it was remediable and blissfully hidden — embarrassing in hindsight, like most nostalgia.

But he also had that same nostalgia and held onto it, too, which makes me feel better. That mutual thread to our shared past was strong for both of us. It gave us a lot to lean on, but we leaned on it a little too heavily. Without that crutch, our adult lives were mostly opaque to one another, but also we were getting close again, involving each other again. Building anew. The left hook following the right. It’s a shame we weren’t closer than we were, when he died. It’s a shame our getting closer was cut short.

I guess it makes sense, generally: as adults, we’re all doing niche things, and niches are small and excluding, so everything else trends towards becomes small talk. (And that’s fine and right, because focus is necessary for growth. Just try and stay loyal, which Arthur did and my cousins do.)

Maybe it wasn’t so much that I was uniquely outside of Arthur’s confidence, but more that we had both (or all) grown a bit into our own isolation. In any case, I mourn the loss and its new finality.

So that’s him and I as adults, apart. Who was he, though? What can I tell you?

Well, I’ll briefly start with me, for context. Who I am is still him, the result of his influence, for sure. Of growing with, then adjacent to him, then apart, then converging again (more on the converging, later). If you distilled me down and got rid of all the litter and trivia, the rare and potent stuff remaining would be similar to what I knew of Arthur. We had the same essence, as I saw it. So I can show you that reflection, and you can tell me if it’s accurate (See: first paragraph’s disclaimer). (Also, note my calling out our similarity is carefully placed right before I go on to flatter him best I can — tactics, baby — but don’t read my ego into this. What follows is all my cousin.)

Arthur and confidence. Old saying: the pro fails more often than the amateur tries.

The subtleties of his personality were sophisticated and complicated. He could spar at an exceptional level from an early age. But he started out lazy and overthrowing a lot of his punches, gassing out quickly.

As a kid, he was autistically independent, preoccupied and hyper focused, but without any of the social hangups. He could talk to anyone and impressed everyone. He was adored, and rightfully so, but he also marched to the beat of his own nunchucks, exclusively. You couldn’t bullshit him, and you couldn’t placate him unless he was genuinely fascinated with what you offered. This is how kids should be, insatiably curious and wild. It was my favorite era of his, and where we spent the most time together. I was such an asshole to him, and he still always hung out with me. And we followed each other into a lot of similar interests.

Then he got his first hit of testosterone, and followed a phase where he literally held a fist up in every photo taken of him. Ha. Puberty’s a bitch. That didn’t last long. Reality checked and he stabilized. The important thing is that he knew he wasn’t going to watch, he was going to play. I loved him here, jealously and from a further distance. I couldn’t hang.

Then maturity: The firm handshake, the direct eye contact, the bright teeth, the smiling cheeks. Approachable, but not daffy. If anything his charisma was a prank and shrewd tactic; a car salesman during the first act, a playful subversion before the intellect and wit made their debut; or, worse for you, they didn’t. You’d start talking to Arthur and think you were walking in on a frat-boy breakfast table, then he’d go on to tell you why your problem was really because of what Robert Moses did back in ‘56, or he’d ask if you thought the The States were in a similar stage of decadence as Rome before its fall.

To him, your reason was more important than your choice, which is an axiom of all good conversation, one that most people are afraid to admit because doing so requires the ability to tread water. It’s easier to talk about the weather or watch sports. But Arthur wasn’t afraid of going deeper, and he had the tact to know when it was the right thing to do.

He was a man of appetite. A true traveling gourmand. He could scoff at you from within a seersucker, but he never compared oysters. If a menu offered Seattle’s or Rhode Island’s, he’d reply, “keep ‘em coming” and demand littlenecks or (and) crawfish to follow. He was less interested in varieties of wine, more in varieties of tomato and whether you had a good coarse salt.

He was spoiled rotten — as we all were, and mostly by the same sources — but he lacked pretension, except for that deliberately wielded for ironic effect. Underneath all his developed and developing taste was a lot of comical stoicism — laughing at gross injustice and absurdity, but also doing something about it, literally. His principles were conjured up from experience with the trappings of pleasure, with readings of history, with a variety of surprisingly worldly stories. I always wondered where and how he got it all. The guy had seen things, but not that many things. How was he always so versed? I don’t know, but if you’ve ever watched him eat a box of clementines straight up, wide-eyed in a wrinkled rugby shirt, then you would also know he was more pensive than pleasure seeking.

Entertainment was a defense, one he was growing out of as he realized it interfered with his goals and their requirements. A defense against what? I don’t know for sure, but I suspect the typical. On one hand, a lack of patience and a petulant refusal to be bored. On the other, the existential and solipsistic. A defense against the subconscious shame and pain of cynicism. Was love real? Was wealth worth anything? Was the world bogus? Was anyone authentic? Ethical? Himself? Others?

Look, I’m not saying he was overwhelmed with this gooey crap. He was a thinker, not a navel gazer. I don’t know if he even said any of this stuff out loud, but anyone with a brain is going to ask some questions about the life they’re living and the society they’re in, and most of us don’t like the first obvious answers we come up with. Then we do something about not liking those answers. We put fingers in our ears some of the time, we do what’s easy some of the time, and we do what’s difficult some of the time. And also, anyone with any talent is going to find themselves bored among the average, and falling short of their own standards. These were Arthur’s struggles, I think. At least, they’re kind of my struggles, and Arthur seemed to harmonize with me when we’d commiserate. Or maybe we were both pompous assholes, wannabe aristocrats from the suburbs. Or maybe that was just me. Ha.

To some, it might seem appropriate to haunt him here in this postscript, as if to justify his death as the terminal approach of a depression into cessation. Let me be clear: this was totally not the case, from my vantage. Instead, the above attitudes are more like the required cost-of-entry to a great show. If the unexamined life isn’t worth living, it does not mean the examined one is easy to live. The alternative is Judge Judy and a monogrammed armchair. Not for Arthur. Caulfield eventually quits his bitching, but he has to eat a lot of shit first. Siddhartha finally leaves the brothel, but he had to walk in that door in order to walk out of it later. Hard times are the prerequisite to epiphany. Painful and confusing; but hopeful, not despairing.

And you could tell Arthur was among this company because the personas he employed became increasingly sophisticated, useful, attractive, and comfortable. From the brawling, pack-leading, indulgent, jokester/show-off into the relaxed, independent, luxurious, conversationalist who wasn’t as afraid to let his guard down, who was increasingly responsible. He was cultivated. He had a tamed self-consciousness (as we all aspire). It was impressive to watch him pull his own strings, to compare that with your own attempts and be humbled.

And thus, as I see it, the irony, hard to swallow, is that Arthur was finding answers to life’s hard questions in fistfuls. Love was possible. Work was worth it. Viktor Frankl was right. And he was learning patience and conviction, already better at their practice than most (e.g. me). As Dan put it, he was just taking off. He jumped and then a hand reached up from the almost escaped gravity and cut him by the heel.

A complete, but simple tragedy.

Complete, because the good guy lost.

Simple, because Arthur’s life was not some melodramatic airport novel. His death was a lightning strike, a deus ex machina in reverse. A two sentence accident, not an assassination. Not much more to be read from it. Mortality is hard, right? (See: Genesis).

And for all my elaboration, I don’t even think Arthur was all that noxiously introspective or exceptionally self destructive either. The guy knew how to love and be loved. How to let his hair down, appropriately. How to shift gears and drive forward. How to resist temptation. How to find and be good company. How to stare at a fish tank. How to sit and read. How to eat fruit in the sun. He was typically bright, with a lot of flair and personality. I know he was grateful.

Or I’m wrong. Maybe I’m inventing a story to make sense of something more concealed or of pure chaos. I don’t know. I don’t think so.

In any case, it’s a tragedy. And regardless of what is true, I’m still glad I got to hear his story and be part of some of it. He was and remains a good influence to me, a fellow bright eyed boy attempting to sustain himself in the body of a straight-backed man. He’ll live on for a long, long time. And I keep talking to him.

That’s some of what I knew of him. And given this is my catharsis, forgive me further, but more about me:

Sadness, gratitude, and disappointment.

I’m sad. Still? Yes. Always? Probably not. The inevitability of death hits a certain emotional bedrock after enough love is lost. I’m probably not there yet, still more distance to fall, but things are tapering off, in the aggregate. Maybe I’m just cold.

Sadness is the least interesting. I am separated from someone I love, and that sucks. We all have people we’ve loved, and we are all damned to lose them. But yes, I get those black bile clutches to the chest as I’m reminded that Arthur (et al.) is gone. And I wanna hold your hand, if you’re feeling it too.

It’s a curse that requires gratitude. Time keeps on slipping, and the portion of time that one spends with good people is shorter still. I’m thankful for Arthur’s good company. From childhood to peerdom. This is what I’ll try and focus on. It’s the mantra I’ll repeat. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Then there’s the sulking disappointment. My head slowly shaking, my eyes unfocused contemplating the loss of the unpredictable conversations, the refreshingly interesting trivia, the uniqueness, the independence, the honed never impersonated taste, the great breadth of knowledge, the artful ball busting, the avoidance of cliches, the shared recommendations, the belly laughs. Obnoxious mutual indulgence — food and talk — during Thanksgiving at Stacy’s table, the shared past at Everit Ave, the just started planning. The feeling of a just missed answer to the question of how to get it back, continuously nagging.

More on that: I’m dealing with a huge mess of unanswerable questions and impotence. There’s so much broken by his leaving, least of all in me, and I can’t fix any of it. No way to organize it. I can’t even help others fix it. Acknowledging the impossibility of the situation seems better than ignoring it, so I will (…acknowledge that death breaks the world and makes inconsistent a lot taken as granted). Arthur’s death is an oily surreal void in the middle of the road. A portal to nowhere. And sure, life will go on. We will preserve. Time heals all wounds. That’s all true. But any schmuck can offer a platitude. I want to be responsible for what he’s left behind, in precise detail. I want to pick up the slack, fill in the blank. But what was his remains his, locked up behind whatever door his soul is now shut. It’s maddening.

I went so far as to tell Olivia that I was her brother, too, and that I would be there for her. Idiot. I love her, she knows I love her, I know she loves me. Yada, yada. I need no pity for my vomiting on the rug. My point is: I can’t be Arthur. I can’t even be close to Arthur. Adam — while still pretty good — isn’t a substitute for Arthur. I apologized for being so naive and sloppy, but the moment taught me what I was trying to say above: that I am ignorant of so much of Arthur’s life, and in ways that can’t be remedied by interviewing his friends or reading his book or wearing his shoes, sort of speak. A lot of it isn’t just unknown, it’s unknowable.

This requires more thought. Surely something can be done. Entropy can’t be rewound, but duct tape can keep a plane in the air. So here’s something I’m going to try: I’m going to be more vulnerable. I’m going to expose myself the way a brother or a son might, and see what happens. It won’t transform me into a replacement, and I’ll probably make a clown of myself. But it’s worth a shot. To build different connections, instead of replicas. I can already see that the cousins have been hammered stronger by this. Now it’s time to be deliberate, and keep that train going, if possible. And yea, I’ll do the practical stuff. You can’t call Barb, enough. And I’ll call Liv, too, but with finesse, without overdoing it. And the rest of our family, as well, because we all lost something. For some a spleen; for others, more vital organs.

Moving on.

It’s further maddening to have Arthur’s death aligned and intertwined with so much of my pleasure. I’m a week into marriage. I’m ecstatic and overwhelmed by the potential of my future. I’m also newly terrified of losing a child not yet even conceived. That’s a fun one. Probably a lot more neurosis to come. But, yea… it’s a violent set of waves to endure and ride. It’s exhilarating and crushing, and guiltily I’ll admit, more of the former. I’m pronoid.

The guilt compounds as I realize that I’m only comparing the conflict between my pleasure and pain, when the actual accounting includes my pleasure, my pain, and all the pain of all the others he left behind, those we both loved. What about Alexandra? Barb? Liv? Dan? A dominating, trailing factor; ego-hidden and selfishly deprioritized. What would Jesus do? Not have a wedding during shiva, although I appreciate all the encouragement and insistence from the also mourning invitees.

Back to Arthur and I having grown apart and then, more recently, back together:

There exists a line separating most relationships. On one side of the line you have people who have a reasonably complete model of you in their head. (See: Theory of Mind.) On the other side of the line are people who have a functional model; they know what they need to know to get the job done, but they don’t know, perhaps have never seen, the whole thing. For ex., a spouse vs a colleague (most of the time).

The line is called intimacy, and relationships on both sides of the line can be valuable, but the intimate ones have more potential in both directions, fat tails; the intimate ones can yield fortunes and bankruptcies. Acquaintances are tepid.

I described it above, how Arthur’s and my relationship moved from the intimate to the distant. I’ll skip further detailing that transition, and just get to the thing that hurts now: we were getting markedly closer, again. I could see the trajectory of our friendship and would bet on our returning to intimacy and confidence.

If the isolation of vocation and growth drives most bourgeois adults apart and into impersonal silos, then eventual mastery and plateau allows room for a focus on humanity, again. And humanity is universal and objective. People can stand on it, together, and get to know each other (again). That’s where I felt Arthur and I were.

I felt like Arthur and I had taken two separate tracks at a fork 15 years ago, and just recently those two roads started to merge back into the same path. We had stories to tell each other, of our time in the wild. It was the basis for a new bond, perhaps stronger than the old one.

Unsolicited phone calls. Talks of marriage, health, wealth. Suggestions of books and podcasts that were actually followed through with, instead of disappearing into the void like most cocktail party prescriptions. We’d follow back. Not rushing each other past awkward silence. Being patiently invested in one another. Showing up. Talking about vulnerable topics, like fears and aspirations for careers, and relationships, and family. And then, right during the peak of this rekindling, this jubilee, he died. And I doubt that I was the only one whose newfound growth and compatibility were cut short. You’re not alone.

So I hurt for the spent love, yes, like that of most grief. But I hurt more for the lost potential. I had so many fresh dreams that included him. It’s disappointing and sad.

To be clear, I’m disappointed in what’s lost, not disappointment in him. I blame him for nothing, even if maybe I should or others do. But any of his mistakes could have easily been mine, and so I sympathize. I’m not angry. Ambition implies risk. Vice is vice is inevitable. Growth means growth from something. Different contexts, need not apply.

Anyway, what else? The thing I linger on now is a weird faith. I have little faith or rather I have difficulty finding faith. I scrutinize faith until it’s demoralized. And yet, the discontinuity introduced by Arthur’s absence gives me faith, illogically but compellingly. I don’t strive for it, it’s simply there, point blank. I can’t explain it, but I can describe it.

Arthur is gone forever, and Arthur is part of my future. Both irrevocably true, yet incompatible. What to do about it? Apparently, not much. My mind absolutely and happily refuses to budge. The feeling that Arthur is part of my future supersedes the knowledge that he’s not. Knowing he’s gone does nothing to my belief that my future includes him. So it continues to. Sue me, I can’t help it.

See you in the funnies, Arthur. (More trivia: I never called him Artie or Art or Archo. He was always Arthur to me.)

Lastly, some good, more recent memories (skipping some that have already been shared):

The last thing I spoke to Arthur about was extensive advice, over the phone, on how to structure a prenup. “Don’t put anything about kids in there, because the courts won’t accept that you understood what you were agreeing to, prior to actually having the kids.” Smart. “Everyone should get one! The courts encourage it! Helps ungunk the works.” Ha. Kelly and I never got a prenup, but the candid advice on such a touchy subject makes me laugh.

Eating a whole pig at a communal table, biergarten style, at Saxon and Parole, in New York. Arthur talking the whole table’s ear off about everything, and then after discussing eating brains, we asked the chef to bring the pig’s over, and he did. Afterwards, walking to our trains, jolly, drunk.

Visiting Arthur in Scotland. Going out to some Uni warehouse party, and me getting lost with some bird. I didn’t have a working European phone, and so when I got home at dawn, seeing him and his big bravado looking like a worried mother goose made me laugh and proud, like a big brother again. Him cooking the two of us mussels and linguine with three whole heads of garlic. Delicious. Steak in Edinburgh, and him showing me the castles like he was himself a duke, personal friends of Hume and Smith.

I wished we went on more walks together.

Us planning on going to Joe Beef, in Montreal, with Alexandra and Kelly.

Him calling me to tell me Anthony Bourdain had died, and subsequently talking about it. “If he can’t make it, who can?” There’s that cynicism again. But it was a candid moment. And we ended that talk, more or less, believing we could make it, even if Bourdain couldn’t.

Discussing whether we were fated to end up like our parents.

Him shooting the .38 up in Gilboa.

Legos, spanky, ice box bedroom, V8-turbo toilet, the pool, the trampoline, the screen porch and its green furniture, endless chicken rolls followed by cold pizza, karate in the basement (no shoes on the mats), rolling on the carpet (i.e. roll mosh), forts, the Barbie game on the gateway computer in Izzy’s room, Snood, army men in the mud ripping up sod by the square foot unit, jealousy listening to Timberlake camp stories, the suburban with 100 blankets in the third row and Don McLean on the radio, toxic farts, the Pokemon store, the Pokemon cards I’d steal from him after going to the Pokemon store, a million cups of Lipton at Barb’s table, Rage Against the Machine in Dan’s car, lanyards, fishing in the Hewlett Bay, Harry Potter, him never sleeping over my house and getting rides home at 2am after attempting to (me pissed), hiding in that lone pine tree in the front yard, making window art out glitter glue, salamanders, watching him attempt to ride a bike in the driveway.

A menial history, but ours. Anyway…

Arthur, you were great. It’s not for me to say that you’re now resting in peace, because I think you were pretty zen while you were alive, in your own pastel-colored kimono kind of way. So instead, I hope you’re as satisfied there as you were interested here. I’ll see you soon, and until then, I’ll try and hold the line for you. Love ya’.

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letterboxd · 4 years

Photo

Lockdown Lens.

The filmmakers behind found-footage hits Searching and Host share their best tips for making movies in quarantine. Hint: you’ll need to tape your camera to your laptop, move away from the wall, and plump up the post-production budget.

“There is a really opportunistic moment here that you can take advantage of, if you come up with the right thing.” —Aneesh Chaganty, director of Searching

“You should never wait for the ideal circumstance because it doesn’t exist. Look at what you’ve got right now and use that.” —Rob Savage, director of Host

A low-budget thriller starring John Cho as a desperate dad, Aneesh Chaganty’s 2018 debut feature Searching, co-written with Sev Ohanian, shook up the found-footage genre with its seamless blend of content from chat rooms, social platforms, security-camera footage and news coverage. Chaganty and Ohanian’s next film, Run, which also takes place mostly inside one house, will debut on Hulu later this year after its theatrical release was quashed by Covid-19.

Meanwhile, a 56-minute séance horror that appears to take place entirely on a Zoom call became the most popular film on Letterboxd within a week of landing on Shudder in July (our popularity score is based on the amount of activity across our platform for each film, regardless of rating). Host—conceived and completed within just twelve weeks—was written by Gemma Hurley, Rob Savage and Jed Shepherd, and directed by Savage.

Our editor-in-chief Gemma Gracewood asked Chaganty, Hurley, Savage and Shepherd to draw on their expertise in making browser horrors and other limited-setting stories, to inspire other aspiring filmmakers sheltering in place.

Listen to the full interviews on the Lockdown Filmmaking episode of The Letterboxd Show.

Joseph Lee and John Cho in TV news footage from ‘Searching’.

Keep the parameters tight.

“Making a story in a limited setting is a very smart thing to do for an aspiring screenwriter—first and foremost because it’s produceable,” Aneesh Chaganty advises. ”If you’re an unknown entity in the film world, the cheaper your product takes to make is probably a better bet for you to be taking as opposed to writing a kajillion-dollar project. The first project that I wrote was a $90-million movie that Sev and I wrote. ‘Why did we do this?!’”

Chaganty also stresses the need to ensure your project wants to be a limited-setting story. “A lot of times I’ll read a found-footage script and it will often feel like all it wants to be is a not a found-footage script. There’s a lot of times where it feels like the writers don’t want it to be that.”

Explore the whole box.

Chaganty encourages aspiring writers to imagine your limited environment as a box. “You’re writing within this box, all the characters are in this box, I think the best way to examine it is not to ever try leaving the box, but make sure you explore it every which way. The box upside down, the box right side up, the box left, the box right…

“This is an objective that should apply to all films, but it’s easier to objectively analyze whether you’re doing it in a limited setting. With a film like Searching, we have to make sure that every possible iteration of how a narrative can take place on a computer screen is done. Looking at a movie like Buried, they’re doing every possible iteration of how that story can be told underground, in a coffin, before [the location] starts to change.”

(Good news for fans of Searching: with new tech platforms appearing all the time, it turns out there are more parts of the box to explore. A sequel is in the works, but Chaganty won’t be in the director’s chair.)

Give yourselves a deadline.

With no end to the pandemic in sight, it’s easy for one day to melt into the next. Keep your team motivated with a deadline. “I gave us two weeks,” says Rob Savage, Host’s director, who co-wrote the film with Jed Shepherd and Gemma Hurley, after his Twitter prank went viral.

“So we had two weeks, all three of us, to come together,” adds Hurley. “Let’s figure out a structure, let’s figure out these character dynamics, figure out a way to build tension around this idea of a séance and hang a story and a journey for the characters, for where we want the séance to end up. We had a Google doc where we were editing it together. I’d go away and do my pass, Rob would go away and do his pass, and Jed would. And that was it. It was really just like, run and gun, go go go.”

“If things had gone to plan we would have had this out in two months; in the end it took three,” Savage continues. ”It took twelve weeks from when I first called Jed up and said ‘let’s make a feature’, to delivering the movie—roughly breaks up as two weeks of writing, we shot for three weeks, and then a lot of editing and VFX time.”

Know your story inside-out, but don’t labor the script.

“We’ve got some hearts to break, here,” warns Hurley. “There was no official script in the standard way because there just wasn’t time. The whole point was capturing a zeitgeist moment… If we went away and wrote a feature-film script, well, ‘we’ll see you after the pandemic’s over, guys!’. You’d miss that moment. That was the joy of it. You didn’t have time to labor over every syllable.”

Some of Host’s key moments were scripted, Hurley reassures. “We had lines we wanted them to suggest, but more than giving them dialog it was about giving them prompts for every scene.”

Savage adds: “The thing that we did really well, at the end of the two weeks of writing, is every single scene, me, Jed and Gemma, you could quiz us all in separate interrogation rooms, we’d be able to tell you the purpose of every scene and what we wanted to get out of them. We had the movie so clearly in our heads in terms of how we wanted it to feel.”

An advantage of having a treatment rather than a completed script? “A sense of discovery every day,” says Savage. “The actors just brought that amazing spontaneity to it and these incredible performances, because we knew the parameters.”

Aneesh Chaganty and John Cho on the set of ‘Searching’, with a GoPro behind the laptop capturing the webcam view. / Photo by Elizabeth Kitchens

Choosing your camera (spoiler: it’s not your laptop’s).

“John is acting against a black screen,” Chaganty reveals. “There’s nothing on his computer, he’s literally looking at nothing.” To ensure complete control over their footage while preserving authentic eyelines, both sets of filmmakers taped additional cameras to the laptops of their key talent. In Host, each of the Zoom participants had iPhones recording at their highest resolution “so we knew we were getting a clean 1080p,” says Savage. In Searching’s case, it was a GoPro taped to the rear of the various computers used by John Cho.

“Before we started shooting the film,” Chaganty explains, “we had to make [an animatic] version using Adobe Premiere, because much of John’s performance is knowing his eyeline. He needs to know exactly where the iMessages open up—in order for us to know that we almost have to know those decisions already.” Chaganty and his team developed a 100-minute animatic cut, with Chaganty playing every role; “understanding where every window is, where every cursor is, so that by the time we get to set, what I’m doing is showing John ‘okay, this is where that message pops up, and while you’re talking to Deborah, you’re going to look over there, go down there, open Chrome, type in…’ So everything is very specific eyelines. Sometimes my notes after a take would just be ‘John that was great, just move the cursor a little further to the left this time’.”

Haley Bishop as séance host Haley in ‘Host’.

Develop your characters and the genre will take care of itself.

Chaganty and the Host team have the same advice for how to ratchet up the tension in a limited-setting film: it’s all about character. “If you’re going to end up putting these characters through tough times and potentially kill them,” says Shepherd, “develop them as real characters, so that we care about them.”

Although Host’s script was, in fact, only a seventeen-page beat-sheet, the most important part of its structure was the long stretch up front where the characters are dialling into the call and catching up—what Shepherd calls the “getting to know you bit”. “That first part is really important because if it wasn’t for that, the third act wouldn’t work at all. The best thing to do is make your characters real, authentic, believable. Everything else takes care of itself.”

Chaganty agrees: “When you are writing something that is genre, your other decisions don’t have to be genre, and in fact it might elevate it more when you don’t do that, because everything else is already doing that, you know?”

In particular, he advises, trust your talent to lean into their characters, rather than into the genre. “This was my challenge at least, as a totally amateur director: sometimes what I was looking for was the most obvious take as opposed to the most subtle take. “When we left the shoot I was thinking it was take six, or the one where it was most obvious [John] was angry or he was sad or something—and what we ended up using was the most subtle takes. That subtlety, that underneath layer, so much of that was him. He’s so good. He’s so good. I hate to say it, but I didn’t realize how good he was until we edited it together.”

Spend time getting the interface right.

“There’s not a frame of Zoom footage in the actual movie.”—Rob Savage

Found-footage films and browser horrors rely on the believability of the content. Searching and Host work because the footage feels real, even though the reality is there are multiple takes and a lot of post-production. Just as Searching was built around a detailed animatic, Host is, in fact, not a recorded Zoom call, but a result of three weeks of filming every actor in multiple takes, with stunt set-ups, followed by the addition of VFX and Zoom interface details.

“Originally the plan was just to screen-record a Zoom call, but then we realized that we were pumping so much money into doing these crazy stunts and effects that we could blow half the budget in 30 seconds,” says Savage. “You’re basically making five movies. We have to make sure the performances are all tight in every single screen. Radina might be amazing in take one and Jemma might nail it in take three and we have to cut them all together so they work seamlessly.”

Savage praises Host editor Brenna Rangott for pulling it all together, underscoring the importance of post-production in your budget and schedule. “Honestly, what Brenna did with all this footage? It’s her movie as much as it’s anyone else’s movie. She absolutely smashed it.”

The Host crew also relied on fellow filmmaker and designer Dan Hawkins to build the almost 4,000 individual assets in the film, and producer Douglas Cox, who went through the whole movie to type out every single name, label and other Zoom interface detail. “4,000 times he had to do that, and that’s what you see to make it play seamlessly.” (And, yes, they had Zoom’s permission.)

Jed Shepherd, Rob Savage and Gemma Hurley during a Zoom séance for Slashfilm with Chris Evangelista.

Trust your gut.

The Host team were pursued for a feature-length version of Savage’s Twitter prank by a “mind-blowing” number of studios—“it was a really competitive situation,” says Savage—but they went with Shudder for one reason: instinct.

“It was the height of the lockdown and a lot of production companies just started ringing and saying ‘Is there a longer version of this? Because it’s the only thing we can shoot right now’. So we pitched to a bunch of places, and the pitch was basically ‘a Zoom séance, we don’t know if it’s going to be any good, we’re going to use our mates, are you in or not?’ and Shudder [was] like ‘of course we are’.”

It wasn’t about the money. Some companies offered more generous budgets, but wanted to release six to eight months after filming. “We were like, ‘no, this needs to be out this week’.”

Move away from the wall.

Since so much of the movie business—all those endless meetings—has pivoted to video-calls, we asked the filmmakers for specific advice on how to present yourself online, in pitch meetings, table reads and the like.

The very minimum, they all agree, is to have good lighting. “It’s crazy what a difference a desk lamp can make to your environment,” says Chaganty. And move away from the wall. “Rule number one any director of photography will ever say, is don’t shoot at a wall,” he adds. “The further that you can place yourself from that wall, it’s just going to look better.” (It also gives you more protection from any demons that may burst from cupboards during your Zoom, Host’s filmmakers advise.)

Chaganty reveals that the pandemic has actually helped his pitching abilities in video meetings with executives. Chaganty and Ohanian are currently developing a heist movie, while simultaneously pitching a television show. “Right now pitches are all digital. Traditionally when you pitch something, it’s a lot of material and you just memorize it. But now, you can have your script with you—but you can’t make it seem like you’re reading off a screen.” The trick, he says, is to re-size the window of the person you’re pitching to, and re-size the script to the same dimensions, then place them directly over each other.

“So you’re reading and your eyeline is exactly where they are, and then you switch over, and they’ll never know and you’ve just pulled it off perfectly because you’re still looking at the exact same spot. It just kind of feels like an incredible performance where you’ve pulled these great words out of your mind and your heart, without anyone knowing.”

On the other hand, don’t put too much effort into details that nobody will notice. “We were doing a table read for a film,” says Host’s Shepherd, “and I thought it would be fun to change the background to correspond with what scene were were reading. I thought it was really clever but nobody noticed except me.”

Producer Natalie Qasabian, writer-producer Sev Ohanian and writer-director Aneesh Chaganty on the set of their forthcoming feature, ‘Run’.

There’s no time like the present.

“When digital cameras came out, everyone started saying ‘this is a great thing for filmmakers because it really democratizes filmmaking’,” says Chaganty. “We are in a very small bubble where it’s even more democratized than it was before—that’s because everybody has the same resources that we do right now.

“It feels like John Oliver and Hasan Minhaj and Trevor Noah are all making stuff with the same quality that you can make, that I can make, just in our own houses right now. The longer this pandemic goes on, and the longer that it feels that Hollywood can’t make traditional stuff the way it used to, the more likely it is that the demand for content is going to rise.

“If you can make something good in this time, I think you’re in a really good spot as far as getting eyeballs on it. And eyeballs essentially are the things that can propel a career to the next stage.”

Plus, there are mental health benefits to making movies together, at a time when we are all being urged to stay socially connected while physically distant. “What’s been really nice about the whole thing is it just made it so clear how collaborative a process filmmaking is,” says Savage. “Normally people kind of forget about that and you have ‘a film by’, but here you had to put so much trust in everyone. It was just a really fun way of working. I recommend it to everyone.”

‘Host’ is available now on Shudder. ‘Searching’ is available via VOD platforms. ‘Run’ is coming soon to Hulu in the US and will be released theatrically in international markets. (Aneesh Chaganty has been diligently updating his Letterboxd diary, which includes one of our favorite recent reviews of Steve Soderbergh’s ‘Contagion’.)

#filmmaking #filmmaking tips #filmmaking process #horror #thriller #aneesh chaganty #host #shudder #hulu #searching #run #sarah paulson #rob savage #jed shepherd #gemma hurley #browser horror #found footage #found footage film #letterboxd

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silvernightwalker · 5 years

Text

'There's more than one way for saying I love you'

Warnings: panic attacks, angst. Happy ending and some kissing.

Pair: Logince

Plot: Roman gets into panic mode when he loses Logan at a convention. Somehow they end up kissing and confessing to one another.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

Saying that Roman was panicking was an understatement. His breathing was fast and uneven, his eyes wide from all the things he saw around him and his hands were shaking. And worst of all, he had lost the person who he needed the most right now. Logan.

Roman had convinced his friend to come with him to a convention, secretly making it a date without letting him know. Logan wasn't exactly a person who was comfortable with having feelings and dating someone. He never had a relationship before and Roman never would've thought he'd fall for the nerd. After all, Logan wasn't his type. And Roman wasn't his. Still, here he was, crushing on his close friend who trusted him. The one he was missing right now.

Roman looked around, his sight a bit blurry. Many people looked at him, some of them asking if he was alright, but he didn't answer. "Logan", he gasped, burying his hands in his hair. He didn't know how he lost him and if he would ever find him back and that idea made him sick in his stomach. "Logan", he cried out and curled up against the wall in the middle of the crowd.

Meanwhile Logan was very confused as he had lost Roman in the huge hall full of people. He turned and turned, trying to find the flamboyant man with his royal outfit. He was specifically dressed as a prince, but Logan now realized how he didn't stand out at all between all the cosplayer. He bit his lip. "Roman!! Roman, where are you?!", he yelled, trying to listen for any reaction. It had no use since there was too much noise.

He had almost disagreed to come with Roman, but the dramatic guy had begged him on his knees, using all kind of arguments and a lot of pleases. An image Logan would never ever forget. He sighed. He felt bad for not paying attention. Normally he was always in control of everything, but since he knew Roman it slowly slipped out of his hands.

Their friendship had started with rivalry and heated discussions at the place they both worked. Roman was a voice actor for cartoons, movies, series and even anime while Logan was a coach for many things related to it. Breathing techniques, physical health and singing. He was known for giving good sessions and his deep voice that made every nerve disappear when people couldn't record because of anxiety. Roman had always been confident in his work, not stopping until he was satisfied with the results. So was Logan. The first time they met it wasn't exactly friends at first sight.

Roman had arrogantly waved him away, saying he didn't need a coach since he was a natural. Logan had only scoffed and looked at him, unimpressed. "Everybody makes mistakes or ends up with a performance they can't handle. Your arrogance blocks the vision of that reality and I'm warning you...don't let it take you down". After those words he had left the small recording studio to wait behind the glass, observing him while the recording started.

It took longer than he expected, Roman's attitude only getting worse since he got praised by everybody. Their battle of best voice actor and employee only became more fanatic and mean, insults coming from Roman and sneers directed back to him from Logan. They couldn't stand each other.

It was a hot summer afternoon and Logan was getting ready to leave when it happened. He grabbed his bag and opened the door to find Roman sitting against the wall, heavily breathing and sweat all over his body. Logan frowned. It looked like he had worked out, but based on his position he had been there for a while.

"Roman? Can I help you?", he asked calm and slow, reaching out for him. He put his bag on the ground and leaned on one knee. Roman looked a bit dazed, but when he made eye contact with Logan it was clear to him. He had a breakdown. A massive one.

He stood up and immediately went back into his office, getting a wet towel. He slowly approached him and said softly: "Roman? It's me, Logan. I'm going to touch you on your forehead. Can you blink if you understand what I'm saying?". Roman swallowed and blinked slowly. Logan gently wiped some sweat away, cooling the hot skin. Roman whimpered softly when he felt the coolness and Logan whispered soft, encouraging words. They sat there in silence for a while when Roman suddenly linked their pinkies. The touch was hesitant, almost as if he was afraid and Logan understood how hard it was on him. His pride was nowhere, destroyed by something and Logan had warned him.

"Let's get you inside, Roman. It's more comfortable and only then I can assist you". Roman nodded and stood up, wobbling a bit and reaching for the wall to hold himself up. Logan immediately wrapped an arm around him, steadying his body and helping him inside. His office was more like a small living room. There was a comfortable couch, a small table with some cups and a box with biscuits, a few lounge chairs, a small fridge with water and juices and of course a coffee machine.

He guided him towards the couch, laying him down and pressing the cold cloth in his neck to cool him down. "I'll get you some water", he said and almost immediately got back. He grabbed a glass and let Roman drink it, the water spilling a bit on his shirt.

"Shhh, easy there. Don't rush. We have all the time", Logan said calm and softly. Roman let out a few whimpers before tears started rolling down his cheeks. Logan had already grabbed a box with tissues, having enough experience with these kind of situations and handed him one.

Roman cried and cried, louder and louder until he was almost curled up against Logan. The coach didn't really know how to react since none of his 'clients' had ever done this before. Nobody wanted a hug from him or touch him. They wanted his advise and support. That's what he could do. He awkwardly stroked Roman's damp hair, waiting until he calmed down.

"Explain to me, Roman. What has occurred that it made you this upset?". Roman took a shaky breath. "I messed up. I-I thought I could...could do it...he ruined me. Ended my career before I even had the chance to prove myself".

Logan was quiet for a moment, processing the words. "Who is this person you're talking about?", he asked gently and Roman shivered. "Gryth. Tharon Gryth". Suddenly it all dawned on him. Tharon Gryth was an amazing actor, singer and dancer who wasn't afraid to break anybody if he didn't like them. Knowing him and Roman, it probably wasn't a nice conversation they had.

"He made me look like an absolute fool. An amateur that doesn't know the tricks of voice acting. My voice...is nothing compared to his", he whispered, his breathing getting faster again.

Logan quickly reacted, grabbing his chin and making eye contact.

"Roman, I need you to listen to me. Tharon is a lot older than you are and has much more experience with all this. He's also not afraid to step up and show people his powers. You might feel like a nobody next to him since he uses his fame, but you are still young and extremely talented. I even think you're a real rival to him, compared to the others. Don't let it get to your head. Like I told you when we first met: everybody makes mistakes or ends up with a performance they can't handle. This was your moment, Roman. It's up to you if you let him take you down or continue with your head held high. I have my hopes on you".

Roman was looking at him in awe, not exactly knowing what to feel and say. He actually thought he was just as good as Tharon? Logan was very confused by the whole staring and not saying anything moment they were having. Was he going into another panic attack?

Then Roman nodded. "Y-you're right. He has done this, but I still control the outcome on the situation...". Logan smiled. "Exactly. So, what is your plan?". Roman smirked. "Beating his ass".

"Roman, beating people up is illegal. It will end your career in less than a second and you will end up in jail in the worst case", Logan said deadpanned.

Roman snorted. "Not literally, nerd. Of course I won't use violence. I will use my voice...".

And using his voice was what eventually got the two stubborn men together as friends. It took a long time before they really trusted each other, but Roman often found him in Logan's office. Sometimes to get help when he had worries and doubts about a project, sometimes to simply talk and listen to the other man. Slowly they opened up and Logan found himself enjoying their time together. Which is why he ended up on a convention. Lost like a puppy.

Suddenly Logan caught some words from a couple walking past him.

"Poor guy...such a panic attack". Logan didn't hesitate and almost choked them by grabbing the back of their shirts. "Where is he?!".

Roman was losing it. More people were crowded around him, asking if he was alright and where his friends were, but he pushed them away, trying to get some air. He almost got to his feet to run and never look back when he heard Logan's voice through the crowd.

"Roman?! Roman!". Not a second later, two blue, familiar eyes appeared in his vision and he gasped when he smelled Logan's calming scent.

"L-Logan", he whispered and scrambled up to fly into his chest. Logan got almost knocked off his feet by the force of Roman's embrace, but quickly steadied them. "Sshh, it's alright. Deep breaths, focus on my heartbeat. Can you do that?", he asked in his usual calm and soft way. He looked up, seeing all the people watching and barked: "please walk away and give him some space!".

Soon they were able to find a more quiet place to focus and Logan gently took Roman's hand, putting it over his heart. "Breath in...and breath out. Very good. Again. Breath in...and breath out. Through your nose, Ro", Logan instructed him, making sure he had eye contact. Roman had once told him that he needed that to be grounded again and Logan gladly did so.

"You w-were gone so suddenly...I didn't know where y-you went...I-I don't...I can't lose you", he stuttered, burying his head in Logan's neck. The coach frowned, not used to Roman being so affectionate and desperate with him. "Roman...I'm not going anywhere. I do not wish to be parted like this again from you and I believe the best option for now is to bring you home", he answered calmly, but Roman shook his head.

"I-I mean in general. I....need you. I...I love you so much...you've become my rock and the most important person in my life", Roman whispered, afraid for Logan's reaction. While he was going through all the possibilities of rejection and heartbreak, Logan was having some huge error noises and completely shut down. The words of Roman raced through his head and he couldn't make them stop. He loved him?? Why? How? He couldn't. He wasn't supposed to be loved. It wouldn't give Roman any satisfaction since he was an awkward nerd.

"Can we...please go?", Roman asked, taking Logan's silence as a rejection. He had let go of the man, creating space between them and slowly Logan could think again. He nodded, not able to speak yet and grabbed his hand, leading him through the crowd outside towards the car.

The ride back was filled with a heavy silence, both men lost in thoughts. Logan bit his lip, trying to come up with anything to say, but he was lost. This was definitely not his area. Meanwhile Roman was trying not to cry. He felt embarrassed and angry at himself for putting Logan in such a hard position. He knew how he felt and what feelings did with him. He was supposed to take it slow and give him space. Instead he ruined it all by opening his mouth and speaking up.

It was late when they arrived in front of Roman's house and Logan desperately tried to keep him in the car, not willing to let him go yet. They needed to talk, but Roman had already endured so much. He didn't want to cause another panic attack.

"Thanks for the ride back. I'll...see you around I guess", Roman whispered and grabbed the handle to open the door. Logan didn't let him go and grabbed his neck before he pressed his lips on Roman's.

The voice actor immediately melted against him, not able to resist those soft and plump lips. Logan never meant to go further than simple lip touching, but then Roman sort of slipped his tongue inside and Logan made sounds he didn't knew he could make. And Roman thought it was beautiful. His fingers tangled in his dark, thick hair and Logan whimpered, trying to get Roman closer.

It was the car horn that Roman accidentally hit when he tried to straddle Logan that both made them freeze. They were breathing fast, their lips swollen and red from all the kissing.

"Seems like I'll be around you for a while", Logan said breathless and looked at Roman while holding his waist.

Roman chuckled. "Is that your way of saying I love you?". Logan swallowed and gave him a small smile, taking a chance into the deep.

"Maybe it is".

@fandermom thanks for the inspiration ;) Love you!

#sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #fanfic #logince #romance

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niall-official · 6 years

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Hiii! I’ve never done a fic rec before but I read a ton so I figured why not! Please don’t forget to give kudos and comment on fics you enjoy! Also, I reblog a lot more fics on my fic blog @verylarryfics so please check it out!

📚 All I Do Is Want You by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 (Harry/Louis, 31k) “Lou, if he knew how you felt, he might change how he feels?”

“And that’s the last thing I want!” Louis threw up his hands as he spoke, exasperated as he always was when it came to this particular topic of conversation. “I don’t want him to feel like he owes me something, or that he has to reciprocate my feelings, Zayn. He doesn’t feel that way towards me and I’ve come to terms with that, okay? You need to as well.”

“I would if you actually meant it,” Zayn mumbled in reply, barely ducking in time as Louis lobbed a cushion at him. “You know this isn’t healthy, right? That you can’t just keep fucking him because you’re scared you’re gonna lose him?”

Harry loves his best mate Louis. He especially loves the casual sex they indulge in. Trouble is, Louis’ in love with Harry. Surely it’s destined to end in heartbreak…

📚 Charisma by lululawrence / @lululawrence (Harry/Louis, 5k) Harry was smiling, and maybe blushing a little as well, as he accepted the phone back. “Thank you,” he glanced down at his phone and then said, “Louis.”

Smiling happily at the way Harry had said his name, Louis watched him leave the room. The further away he got, the more confused Louis was. Yes, Harry was gorgeous, but how the hell had he forgotten that Harry was also the man who had caused him to almost have a major accident earlier because of his haphazard driving? How had he allowed Harry to distract him with his charm to the extent that instead of giving the man a lecture, Louis accepted the offer of a date?

Well. Whatever the reason was, Louis wouldn’t forget when Harry called. Louis would give him a piece of his mind then and see if Harry still wanted to go out with him at that point. Because yeah, Louis was not mad enough about his overreaction to Harry, both on the road and at the event tonight, to turn that opportunity for a date down. He wasn’t stupid.

Or the one where Harry feeds on awesomeness (possibly literally). Louis is awesome and also angry. They’re probably going to fall in love

📚 Come to My Window by gettingaphdinlarry / @gettingaphdinmomo (Zayn/Liam, 4k) It had become their joke, ever since Zayn had come out. One of them would do something stupid—burp or trip or slosh their pint of beer—and the other would say, “You could’ve texted me” or “that wasn’t worth texting me?”

When Zayn got a full scholarship to college, he sent Liam a message. Need to talk to you. Call me. When Liam said to text it, Zayn said no.

That’s how it was, and they both knew it. You can text me was for easy things, nothing serious. If it was serious, it got a phone call.

But an hour ago, Liam had texted back.

-Zayn and Liam were best friends for years — and then things changed.

📚 don’t care if you’re too loud by disgruntledkittenface / @disgruntledkittenface (Liam/Nick, 2k) @grimmers did you take inspiration from @liampayne? Is that his workout secret?

📚 Enjoy The Ride by 2tiedships2 / @2tiedships2 (Harry/Louis, 11k) Or the one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

📚 (even when I messed it up) There You Are by rosegoldhl / @rosegoldhlfics (Zayn/Liam, 9k) “It’s so cold,” came a deep voice from his right.

Zayn snapped his head towards the source of the melodic sound, his heart wildly rabbiting in his chest. Liam Payne, firefighter.That’s all he knew about the boy with the kind brown eyes and pretty lips, who had moved to the apartment next to Zayn’s a few months back. He had dug that info from the mailbox downstairs– it was a low moment, he could admit that, but he didn’t do anything illegal, just slightly creepy.

“Maybe you ought to wear something then,” Zayn remarked, nodding towards Liam’s bare chest as he let out the smoke he had inhaled.

📚 going live by jaerie / @jaerie (Harry/Louis, 15k) Harry has only done this cam thing a handful of times when another camboy pops in to view his stream and unintentionally stirs things up a bit.

Or Louis and Harry are both camboys for some extra cash and meet each other in an unconventional way

📚 I don’t want a taste (I want it all) by thedaggerrose / @thedaggerrose (Harry/Louis, 3k) What Louis really needed was a fat fucking nap.

What Louis got instead was some hipster-looking wannabe arguing with him over the validity of avocado toast.

Or the AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

📚 it started with you and started with me by thearcherballet (Zayn/Liam, 11k) It starts like this: you love a boy more than you love your own music, until he becomes the song your heart sings.

Solo artist Zayn Malik is recording his third album when he finds himself working with a new music producer, the amateur talent Liam Payne. Liam is saddled with the task to prove that Zayn can be the greatest musician of the 21st century.

Zayn’s musical barriers start melting away as things get heated up in the recording studio.

📚 Life Saver by objectlesson / @horsegirlharry (Harry/Louis, 30k) Nerd Boy’s giant, dorky, adorable hand shoots into the air. Louis notices he has chipped red polish on a few of his nails and some tattered friendship-looking bracelets, like the sort you make in camp, and he might hear the distant chime of wedding bells. He thought he didn’t even believe in marriage because it’s, like, oppressive and heteronormative or whatever, but that was before Styles, Harry (Harry Styles!!! What an absurd, wonderful name! What a perfect thing to scrawl in the margins of all his notebooks surrounded in hearts!) appeared in the bio lab at his new school and ruined all his principles forever.

or Louis is a sweetheart punk with a theater background and a heart of gold, Harry is an inexperienced nerd who plays by the rules. Classmates, lab partners, and eventually friends, what happens when Louis knows he’s in love, but doesn’t know how tell Harry?

📚 my favourite colour is you by velvetnoodle / @velvetnoodle (Harry/Louis, 2k) Harry and Louis have been best friends for decades, and practically attached at the hip the entire time. Harry would scoff whenever the people closest to them would question their lack of an actual relationship, because the idea of the two of them being anything more than friends is the most preposterous thing he can think of.

Until, one day, it isn’t.

📚 Of the Earth by angelichl / @angelichl (Harry/Louis, 24k) Harry embarks on a backpacking trip in West Virginia to figure his life out after breaking up with his boyfriend. He meets Louis along the way.

📚 Superhuman Tonight by anonymous for @popularryculture fic fest (Harry/Louis, 23k) A group of young offenders doing community service get struck by lightning during a storm, and begin to develop superpowers.

📚 the little things i’d do to lose you again by larrymaybe22 / @larrymaybe22 (Harry/Louis, 11k) Louis wishes he could erase the look of defeat and regret painted over Harry’s face from his memory.

“I think maybe we just found each other at the wrong time.”

“No,” Louis shakes his head, “There’s never been anything wrong about us. You can’t just call the last two and half years wrong.”

Or, the one where being in love isn’t always enough the first time around.

📚 There’s Nothing I Can Do (I Only Wanna Be With You) by chaoticallyyours / @hazzaskilt (Harry/Louis, 6k) Roommates Harry and Louis both consider themselves matchmakers. Louis’ latest crusade is finding the perfect match for Harry, despite the admittedly disastrous results. With just a little bit of help from their friends and a lot of whining, Louis realizes that the best match for Harry might just be the person already sharing his flat.

OR: Louis is a dumb gay who doesn’t realize he’s in love with his best friend. Until he does.

📚 to the brim with fright by hereforlou / @hereforlou (Harry/Louis, 14k) The only reason he’s here is because it’s tradition. And also, Harry said it’d be fun to make Liam wet himself in fear and Louis agreed. It’ll be hilarious. He’s not an insecure new transfer anymore, thank you very much. It took him no more than a week to insert himself into a group, to get invited to his first party, and to start crushing on someone—he’s not what anyone would call socially impaired. He doesn’t need validation.

(Or, the one where Louis’ high and scared and Harry’s…also high and scared.)

📚 two loves have i by wreckingtomlinson / @humhalleloujah (Harry/Louis, 2k) “So, hang on a minute.” Niall puts the pen down. “You’re really trying to tell me that you think two people who look alike moving into the same building around the same time makes more sense than Louis cutting his hair and changing his clothes in the four days since you last saw him?”

~or, Harry is convinced the new guy who’s just moved into his apartment complex is not only hot, but has an equally hot doppelgänger.

📚 What I’ve Been Waiting For by styleandsin / @styleandsin (Harry/Louis, 14k) “Have you checked your twitter mentions lately?” Liam asks, almost hesitantly.

“‘Course not, I’ve been busy relaxing.” Louis gives Liam a smile, “Besides, isn’t that your job?”

“Well, I mean… Kind of, but you should check them.”

Louis sighs, “Fine.”

He picks his phone up from the table and takes a scroll through twitter, finding that apparently the book he was carrying on the way out of the airport was visible enough to see in the pap shots, and now his fans are excited. From about three minutes of scrolling and reading tweets he gathers the following: he and Harry share an overlap in fans, a lot of people are thankful for the book recommendation, some people say they ship him and Harry, whatever that means, oh and Harry Styles has seen the photos.

Or, Louis is famous for his singing. Harry is semi-famous for his writing. They’re both fans of each other.

📚 Whirlwind by sweetums / @darlou (Harry/Louis, 5k) “Noisy boys over at that table there, yes, you two, would you like to share something with us?”

“I was just saying that you’re probably the only person who’s ever literally taken my breath away”

AU inspired by Phoebe and David from Friends.

📚 (you and me are) the difference between real love and the love on TV by hipsterchrist (Niall/Shawn, 20k) Some pap photos spread like wildfire across the internet, published frantically on braindead celebrity gossip sites with headlines like “SHAWN MENDES AND NIALL HORAN: MORE THAN FRIENDS?” and poorly written articles full of puns on their song titles. His Twitter mentions are flooded with fans, both excited and distraught, and he clicks away from the trending topics tab as soon as he sees that he and Shawn have their own Twitter Moment. It’s all been thoroughly planned and carefully orchestrated - they all knew this is exactly what would happen - and it’s still fucking disarming as hell.

Or: a coming out story, a fake relationship, a realization of what everybody already knew.

📚 you’re the song stuck in my head (every song that i’ve ever loved) by hipsterchrist (Niall/Shawn, 13k) the thing is: niall is sure of shawn.

#posting this for #28th appreciation #fic rec #!!!!!!!!!

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anoutrageousamountofwriting · 5 years

Text

A Slip of the Tongue

((A half-formed idea that my partner and I brainstormed a while ago. We intended to make it more of a series, but we petered out. We might pick it up later, but I figured rather than let this languish on my Google Drive, I’d post it here - I don’t want to post it on AO3 unless I actually intend to continue it.))

Summary: Some people tie cherry stems into knots with their tongues. Shinsou Hitoshi ties nooses

Rating: Mature (Violent Themes, Character Death, Graphic Violence)

When you live with a Quirk like Brainwashing, you learn to watch your tongue. You choose your words carefully, you measure every syllable. You weigh the tone, the context, your expressions. You wonder whether it’s better to stay silent - and often, you err on the side of caution. On the side of safety. You learn to nod instead of saying ‘Yes’, or ‘Hello’. You say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ with your eyes but not your voice. You do it all because more than the others - more than the fire breathers or the shapeshifters - you are the one with the nightmare in your throat. And if you’re not careful, it’s all too easy to give voice to the nightmares. It’s all too easy to make them real.

A slip of the tongue is all it took, and the nightmare lurking in Shinsou Hitoshi’s throat crawled out to change everything forever.

He’s heard the stories about the League of Villains. Everyone in U.A has. It’s hard not to hear them, really, when they spread like wildfire across the campus. It’s funny, in a terrible sort of way. He’s heard the stories, and he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to actually face the League - what would he do? How would it go? He didn’t think much of it. It was a passing fancy in his early days in the General Education class and by the time he’s on the path to Heroism, the thoughts have long since faded into distant memories.

Then those memories come roaring back as Punch Drunk is killed right before his wide eyes. The Pro Hero is still looking at him as he disappears, his cheeky cocksure grin the promise of some kind of quip or joke that never comes as slender, spidery fingers glide through his face as though he were nothing more than a handful of dust. And in moments, that’s all there is. The only thing that remains of the Intoxicating Hero blows away with the wind and then there is nothing at all but memories.

It happened in an instant. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die, but they’re wrong (or at least, it’s wrong for him) because it’s fast. It’s horribly, horribly fast, like a rollercoaster without any brakes or warning and just as Punch Drunk is disappearing, Shinsou’s body seizes up and all he can see are the fingers. The long, brittle, murderous fingers. Reaching out for him.

Something hard collides with him, driving the air from his lungs and when his mind finally jolts itself into thinking again, he realises ‘something hard’ is a bloody, injured Midoriya Izuku. “Shinsou-kun!” He shouts, worried green eyes and a freckled, blood splattered face dominating his vision. He keeps talking (shouting, really), but the words are just so much noise in his ears.

There’s so much blood. Some part of his mind recalls a distant school lesson - adult humans have six liters of blood but six liters is just a number and there’s just so much of it. Knives jut out of Izuku’s flesh like quills, and the broken shaft of a needle glitters dangerously from his shoulder. A stretch of his stomach is still smoking with the sickening smell of burnt flesh. An awfully smooth oval of his neck is glistening wetly with blood, and as Izuku swallows he realises to his growing horror (his horror keeps growing and growing and there’s no end, not yet, not ever) he realises he’s seeing Izuku’s bare muscle.

Izuku has always been his image of Heroism since the Sports Festival, but it was one thing to see him in the controlled, safer environment of the Festival and another entirely to truly bear witness to the extent of what it means to be a true Hero. To bear witness to Izuku, broken and bloody, one arm hanging limply at his side and the other gripping his coat tightly in his blood-slick fist. To bear witness to the determination that is still burning in his eyes, and to realise deep down in his soul that there is nothing that could ever stop him but death itself.

Is it enough, he wonders quietly, in the recesses of his soul? Will it ever be enough? What will be left of Izuku, if it ever ends?

(Will he be so much dust in the wind as well?)

“-get help!” His mind jolts itself back into reality once again, the lull of the rollercoaster dispelled as it plunges down again. Izuku gives him a desperate, pleading look, blood dripping down his forehead and threatening to blind an eye. “Go!” He shouts, and then he’s gone, and Shinsou is free to take in the horror all over again.

Even on the brink of ruin, Izuku is nothing less than graceful. His footwork is almost delicate and dainty, pirouettes and pivots to build speed and momentum to be delivered in punishing blows. He dances out of the way of a gout of terrible blue fire but no amount of grace can save him from everything and the blonde girl (Toja? Toga?) slashes him along the back of a leg with a knife.

He should run. That’s what he should be doing, it’s what Izuku told him to do and Izuku is… Izuku is the reason he’s still alive. He should run and get help, call for the cavalry. Summon the Heroes. But he doesn’t. The reason he’s here, the reason he came here, the reason Punch Drunk is gone with the wind is because he answered the call. Izuku sent a text message to everyone, nothing but a street name, and he came to see what was happening.

A Nightmare was what was happening, but no matter how much Shinsou pinches himself, he’s not waking up.

If Shinsou runs, if he calls for help - if he leaves Izuku now… is there going to be anything left of him? If not dust, then what? The thought of Izuku, mangled and murdered strikes him by surprise and it’s enough to make the decision for him.

His fingers dance along the Artificial Vocal Chords, dials twisted and adjusted. He’s practiced with them until his voice was raw and raspy, until his fingers began to bleed. He can change from baritone to soprano in only a handful of seconds but in this horrible, disastrous moment, it feels far, far too slow. Every second is a second Izuku can’t afford, but he can only do his best. He can only do his best, but his best is barely anything compared to the furiously burning candle of Midoriya Izuku.

“TWICE!”

A dozen masked faces snap in his direction, a chorus of answering cries ranging from “YEAH, BOSS?” to “CAN IT WAIT?!”

Brainwashing snaps into place in his mind. It feels like a puzzle piece clicking in his mind, some primal part of him satisfied at last. It feels right in all the wrong ways, but he takes the thread he’s been given and he pulls. “TAKE DABI DOWN!”

“Eh?” Dabi blinks in what might be mild surprise, but his voice is too deadpan to really tell. “Seriously, Bubaigawara? If you get burned it’s your own fucking fault.” More than a few clones disappear in a torrent of blue flame but it doesn’t stop the rest from obeying the command. There’s a dozen or so Twice clones (and very likely at least the real Twice) and he doesn’t have to defeat him (or Twice, for that matter). He just needs to buy time. He can’t have been the only person to receive Izuku’s alert - and he can’t have been the only person to decide to come.

It’s a small, brief victory and the rush of it gets to Shinsou’s head. An amateur mistake, but this isn’t a fight where one can afford amateur mistakes. It’s a fight where one can’t even afford minor misfortune. He doesn’t even feel it, doesn’t even see it until it’s too late.

Shigaraki’s fingertips scratch the surface of his Artificial Vocal Chords and if it wasn’t for the timely intervention of Izuku, pushing him away with his one good hand, Shinsou would’ve joined the chords. It’s the second time Izuku has saved him even though Shinsou is the one who came to save him. This time though, Izuku doesn’t get away unscathed for his efforts.

Those same fingers find their way around Izuku’s neck. But there’s no Decay, even as those gnarled branch-like fingers dig into the exposed, glistening flesh of Izuku’s neck like roots. What is there instead is almost worse, as even behind that terrible hand he wears as a mask, Shinsou knows Shigaraki is gloating. When the villain opens his mouth, it only serves to remove all doubt.

“Game Over,” He drawls, cracked lips pulled back into a monster’s impression of a grin. “You lose,” He flicks his eyes over from Izuku to Shinsou, and it’s hard to tell from behind the hand but he knows the grin is growing just an inch wider, “Hero.”

Shinsou feels his heart catch in his throat because Izuku isn’t even paying the slightest bit of attention to Shigaraki (not even with the threat of disintegration so close), no - he’s looking straight at him.

He should’ve ran, he realises. He should’ve just ran. He’s not cut out to be a Hero. He’s not - he can’t. He can’t. Izuku is so bright and wonderful and incredible and Shinsou is so… not. HIs only talent, his only weapon is gone. Everything he’s done has only brought misfortune. He dragged Punch Drunk into this, and now he’s dead. He tried to help Izuku, and now he’s in the grip of death.

“This was,” Shigaraki continues, bitten down nails pushing just that little bit deeper into Izuku’s open wound and squeezing just a touch more drops of blood. Almost like squeezing an orange. “Inevitable.”

Shinsou can’t tear his eyes away but even if he could, he wouldn’t. He can’t hear Shigaraki anymore. Everything is being slowly but surely drowned out by the sight of his middle finger as it hovers above the center of the wound, curling back and forth almost teasingly as Shigaraki gloats.

Izuku’s eyes don’t leave Shinsou’s. Still pleading. Still begging. Run, his eyes say. But Shinsou’s legs have turned to stone, and he’s petrified where he stands. He can’t run. He can’t stay. He can’t do anything. He can’t do anything but fuck up.

“-should thank you, Shinsou-kun.” His name snaps Shinsou back into focus. “It’s only thanks to your,” Shigaraki lets a cruel smirk reach his eyes, the dry skin crinkling like cellophane, “assistance that this could happen.” That awful grin only gets wider. “With this,” Shigaraki inhaled deeply, “All Might’s legacy is finally eradicated.” He pauses for a moment, finger tantalisingly raised, like an executioner’s blade ready to fall. “Any last words for the Age of Heroes? Shinsou-kun, Izuku-kun?”

That’s right, Shinsou thinks. This is his fault. Twice, he’s tried to help and twice he’s only made things worse. But as he stares into Shigaraki’s cold, dead eyes, as he gazes into Izuku’s bright, desperately pleading ones, he commits himself completely to this mistake. After all, don’t they say third time’s a charm? He flicks his eyes from Izuku to Shigaraki and back to Izuku. Punch Drunk’s words flit into his mind.

‘A Hero’s Job is to control the situation. Villains will try to disrupt it - to instigate chaos. You have to keep things stable. You reassure everyone else, and you throw the Villains off their game. If you can do both with one move… all the better.’

So, that’s what Shinsou does. He tries to reassure Izuku, and throw Shigaraki off. He tries to control the situation. It’s perhaps impressive, or noteworthy, that Shinsou is able to seize on the scattered bits of information he has to craft this response.

“It’s going to be alright… because I’m here.”

His words are imbued with every scrap of determination and resolve Shinsou can muster in his soul. They are chosen and selected and weighed and measured all for the sake of just maybe, if only just a little, if only just for a moment, letting him be the Hero he’s always dreamed of being.

If only they had the desired effect.

He doesn’t see how Izuku reacts. He doesn’t get time. The moment the words leave his tongue, Shigaraki throws his head back… and laughs. It’s not even the cruel, mocking laugh Shinsou half-expects him to have. It’s genuine laughter from the depths of his soul, and that makes it all the worse. This isn’t a calculated attempt to hurt him, a cruel trick to twist the knife, this is genuine. This is real.

Shinsou’s determination, his Heroic Resolve, his attempt to shine as bright as Izuku... is nothing more than a joke to Shigaraki.

“That’s it?” Shigaraki howls, almost wheezing with his own twisted mirth, “That’s the dialogue you pick? I’m about to kill your friend and the best plan you could come up with was to misquote All Might?”

“No,” Shinsou says, and the steel in his voice has turned to ice, “You’re not going to kill my friend.” He feels the connection, the string that’s snapped into place in his mind, and he pulls without a second thought. A lifetime of careful words, of tailored and doctored speech, of considered tone and implications, none of it matters in this single, awful moment.

“You’re going to kill your friends.”

One slip of the tongue. That was all it took.

#penkind writes #boku no hero academia fanfic #bnha fanfic #snippet #dark #oh so dark #we planned for it to get even Worse

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he's just full on sat next to her for food or whatever after also sitting next to her on the coach/minibus etc] Jimmy: let's not stop meeting like this Janis: Hope you don't think this harrassment is going to fly Janis: not a Catholic school Jimmy: You'd have to speak up, reckon that's about as likely as Jesus weighing in on the issue Jimmy: but alright I owe you a vape pen, glue stick or whatever else the paddy youth classes as a fun time Janis: Wouldn't wanna inflate your ego more than everyone else has Janis: or talk to you, obvs Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: congrats on your immunity Jimmy: 🏅🏆 Janis: To what? Janis: the clap or your lack of charm Jimmy: both Jimmy: you're a real winner, girl Janis: aw thanks Janis: if you want tossing off under the table though, you've got plenty other options Jimmy: a real heart breaker, you Jimmy: gives me a better idea Jimmy: tah Janis: that's me Janis: brains and beauty Janis: ? Jimmy: don't forget modesty and humility Jimmy: use your 💔 talents to publicly me and I can spend the rest of this trip in exile Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: i'd rather, tah Janis: you want that rep? Janis: guess a pussy is pretty undesirable Jimmy: more than the one they're trying to give me, yeah Jimmy: not the only 🧠 on board Janis: no jerking off, remember Janis: fine Janis: leave your vape pen at home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't touch me Jimmy: or my nonexistent vape pen Janis: not planning on it Janis: school trips are ample molestation time all 'round but me and Mr Lucas got other 🎯 Jimmy: what is the plan then? Jimmy: be 💔 to cockblock you and him and that's your thing more than mine Janis: you've come to me with no plan? Janis: 'course Janis: right, who's in your room? Jimmy: if you can't do it you ain't the girl for me Jimmy: and if you are, I ain't gonna tell you how to work Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: probably does vape Janis: yeah, dead considerate, I buy it Janis: not bad description though, if you're a police informant, you're giving the game away Janis: later, message me when he's got his mates in your room, yeah Janis: step 1 Jimmy: 👌 💰 Jimmy: I'm 45 and faking being a real boy, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when you 😏 irl] Janis: explains the whole look, really Jimmy: [likewise cos she's funny too] Jimmy: save it for the break up, sweetheart Janis: rest assured, just 'cos you're new doesn't mean I've not got enough insults for you to spare Jimmy: that'll be why I asked you Jimmy: all in for that 👅 baby, sharper the better Janis: obviously Janis: not like I'm the only bitch who wouldn't take this as a 💍 Jimmy: 🤞 Mr Lucas has picked one out for you Jimmy: 👰🎊💕 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: don't get my hopes up Jimmy: my bad, mate Jimmy: You want me to give him a nudge? Only take the one screenshot, I'm sure Janis: idk if he swings both ways Janis: or that a 🍆📸 is gonna help my case Janis: but cheers, mate Jimmy: give him a bit to get to know me Jimmy: and appreciate my many talents Jimmy: be alright Janis: defs what they had in mind for the group bonding sesh Jimmy: bit rude to skip it then, like Janis: who are you to deny the world of your 'talents' Janis: I feel a migraine coming on though Jimmy: with a head that big it's gonna be a killer Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll need all afternoon Jimmy: 🙏🏻 for you, my dear Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [a dramatic 😑 deadpan] Jimmy: [he's just like 😏 of course] Jimmy: the dickheads are about Janis: alright Janis: get ready to answer the door Janis: [idea is she shows up so whoever the f was in her room at the time knows she's gone somewhere (and they nosy af so they'll be ON IT) and then these lads will see them go off together and thus the rumour-mill can do it's thing without them having to do more than go and hide and smoke somewhere for a hot sec] Jimmy: if you're gonna be naked give me a heads up to be 😍 not 😑 Jimmy: whatever the rumour mill reckons I weren't on that teen soap Janis: alright, hollyoaks Janis: the accent and the IQ, not any of the emotional range Janis: subtly is your friend even if I ain't, nothing makes them lose their shit more Jimmy: maybe you do have something going on behind them 👀 Janis: save the 'compliments' for when you 'reckon they're just out of earshot, boy Jimmy: save the bossiness for when Mr Lucas wifes you Janis: you're the one that said you weren't gonna tell me how to work Janis: so fuck up if you want my face to be anything but not at your door Jimmy: you're working them not me Jimmy: so crack on Janis: pick up a hoodie or a jacket yeah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: what's your colour? Janis: right, so you aren't a total amateur Janis: ⬛️ works 😎 boy Jimmy: It's how we woo girls in the freezing cold north Janis: try not to freeze yourself 'cos naturally you can't have it back 'til this shitshow is over Jimmy: are you dyslexic? I just said 💪 Janis: believe that when I see it Janis: [shows up] Jimmy: [off you go 'sneakily' haha] Janis: [she's 100% in a shortie PJs moment for the added scandal of it all 'cos unlike the rest she hasn't bought all the LEWKS to this trip honey, hence the need for the hoodie] Jimmy: [don't check her out too much boy cos we know that's actually a look and you wanna] Janis: [avoid the teachers on the way out but get caught on the way in, 'cos no one ever gets in proper trouble on school trips 'cos they cba but again, gets people shooketh] Jimmy: [such a mood, unrelated but I once mooned on a school trip] Janis: [just walking in casual silence right now] Jimmy: [literally not gonna say a word this whole time lbr] Janis: [suits both of you, just be somewhere they can't be peeping] Jimmy: [you know he's 🚬 because always, casually retrieved from behind his ear because #mood] Janis: [just stealing it 'cos what else are you gonna do frankly] Jimmy: [giving her a look like oi and stealing it back cos likewise] Janis: [when you're just snatching lmao, 'YOU owe ME, dickhead, so consider your debt repaid' 😏] Jimmy: [lights a new one for her and gives her it like aim higher because shady bitch and also that's a habit from day 1] Janis: [raises it like cheers] Jimmy: [tips a hat he doesn't have on] Janis: [the 🙄 but we know you sneaky amused] Jimmy: [gotta give them back because its what they always do] Janis: [gestures like gimme your phone] Jimmy: [does without a second thought which makes me die] Janis: [lucky she's not being a dick with it, takes a cute/vaguely sexy pic in his hoodie and saves her number handing it back with a shrug like now you can brag as much as you do or don't wanna 'cos how boys do] Jimmy: [sends her a text which is literally just '😍' so she has his] Janis: [sends back a '🖕'] Jimmy: [sends back '💔'] Janis: ['😂'] Jimmy: [when you gesture at her to come here so you can take a pic together because she needs something in her phone too in case of nosy bitches] Janis: [does, obvs, start as you mean to go on lads] Jimmy: [casual photo session] Janis: [you know grace is blowing her phone up like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE rn] Jimmy: [the truest thing, hold on honey, they're busy] Jimmy: [he'd give her a bemused look cos miss popular is not the mood he expected but like also he knows the plan is working so can't complain] Janis: [the face you'd make 'cos it looks like you're just bffs with her and not related like omg no] Jimmy: [it'd make him lol he wouldn't be able to help it] Janis: [just scowling in that last pic] Jimmy: [casually his fave out of all the pics] Janis: [the temptation to send one to her just to shut her up but that'd be too easy so you gotta make her work for it lol] Jimmy: [you'll have so much time to shut everyone up, hang in there kids] Janis: [for now enjoy the literal irl silence] Jimmy: [it would be so nice cos his roommate would be as annoying and loud] Janis: [I legit thought you were describing Ollie so #real when your fam is just too much] Jimmy: [#confirmed and whatever girlfriend he has currently should be on the trip too so it's even more annoying to share] Janis: [fun and games, defs kicking grace out so you can 'get it on' 'cos she'll be fuming, everyone coupled] Jimmy: [we simply must] Jimmy: [she'd have to throw herself at some random trip lad so as not to be entirely left out which is not a mood] Janis: [can only imagine the quality gurl no] Jimmy: [honestly, don't even bother but we know she will] Janis: [god bless, also you can probably start heading back lads] Jimmy: [take a second to imagine the kiss when he walks her back, like enjoy everyone but also you two shamelessly] Janis: could've warned me, prick Jimmy: so you're the amateur then? Jimmy: could've warned me of that Janis: fuck off Janis: was following the 'don't touch me' rule Jimmy: you never said I couldn't touch you Janis: 'cos it's a given Janis: whatever Janis: it worked Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you don't think? Jimmy: you that confident? Janis: i get it, lads ain't AS hysterical as girls are Janis: usually Janis: these headphones aren't as noise-canceling as they promised Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not for you, but as far as the plan Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: not for long Jimmy: exile, remember Janis: ain't got a spare room I can magic out my arse for you Jimmy: I get it, we ain't back at your mansion now Jimmy: it's alright, rich girl, no hard feelings Janis: 😢 some more, pussyole Janis: you wanna swap beds? Jimmy: you want that rep this soon? Jimmy: I've had a few less than 🥇 nights with northern lasses but nowt worth crying about Janis: you can spare me the details if you want an invite Janis: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: hope you don't think i'm doing this work for free Janis: they reckon we're having such a scintillating conversation rn, again, welcome Jimmy: what you don't love an emoji standoff? Janis: 😍 Janis: of course Jimmy: if you need me to make you 😳 that's one of my talents Janis: sure Janis: that shit don't work on me Jimmy: sure Jimmy: you're well special, you Jimmy: a proper ❄ Janis: if you like Janis: or you ain't as special as you've been led to believe but either or Jimmy: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot, in your own words Janis: if you think i'm the type to take the higher ground whilst you continue to be a dickhead, you got the wrong bitch Jimmy: If you think this is me being a dickhead, you've got the wrong northern new boy Janis: scary Janis: is this the part where i cream myself? Jimmy: You can't kiss and you scare too easily Jimmy: is there owt else I gotta be warned about? Janis: you couldn't make a 🐷😳 Jimmy: you've got body issues an' all ✔ Jimmy: what diet are you on, I'll try and look interested Janis: wrong sister Janis: pass on your deets Jimmy: Tah Janis: have fun Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [skip to after am activities which they slayed as a #team] Janis: tah for not dragging me down too much Jimmy: I were about to say the same thing to you, girl Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wow, so in-synch Janis: what am I thinking rn Jimmy: it'd make a 🐷😳 Janis: [when you barely hold back that lol] Janis: oh well Janis: 💕 whilst it lasted babe Jimmy: fuck it, I'm still pretty Jimmy: 🧠 off for a bit Janis: sound like a delusional single ma Janis: you'll bounce back, karen, you still got it Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: two kids and no man Janis: 💔 Janis: make the most of this you time Jimmy: on it Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🙌📣👏🏆 Jimmy: living laughing loving Jimmy: all in this one morning Janis: break out the pink gin and prosecco babes Jimmy: It's a #date Janis: the lack of booze on this trip is shocking Janis: someone's got to have something Jimmy: meant to be what you paddys are known for Jimmy: sort it out, the lot of yous Janis: if I find the goods, I won't share 💕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: I'll sneak off and find my own then Jimmy: gotta be a pub somewhere Janis: you reckon you're getting free Jimmy: why not? Janis: 😎 not ninja Jimmy: I'll send you a selfie once I've had a few Jimmy: proof'll be in the pint Janis: fuck off are you going without Jimmy: you reckon you're coming with? piss off Janis: i won't need to chat to you when we get there Janis: if Jimmy: you don't need to chat to me now but on you go Janis: this ain't talking Janis: and you can't stop me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you'll get over it Janis: dry your eyes Jimmy: You'll get over staying here Janis: fuck off, you don't even know where we are Jimmy: I've got a 📱 knobhead Jimmy: [waves it at her IRL] Janis: call a hotline to 😢🍆👌 it out Jimmy: phone a friend to take you to the pub Jimmy: I'll see you there Janis: I can go myself, dickwad Janis: 🤞 we don't pick the same one Jimmy: I'll avoid anywhere called the Blushing Pig Jimmy: know it's your local Janis: you'll wanna avoid anywhere too local with that accent Jimmy: I ain't scared, leave that to you, like Janis: piss off Jimmy: the plan's that, yeah Janis: okay, try this one, shut up Jimmy: this ain't talking Jimmy: what happened to that? Janis: i make the rules Janis: it's talking when i want you to not Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: laters then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: ✌ flip reverse that Jimmy: [nearly lols] Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: went from hot to cute well quick Janis: yeah, not the only one with talents Jimmy: I might believe you when I see any Janis: I were about to say the same thing to you, boy Jimmy: I got in there first, girl Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: fact remains, no blushes, just bullshit Janis: and to get to the pub? Janis: not helping you, amateur Jimmy: [sends her some real saucy shit use your imagination cos we know I don't have skills] Jimmy: To hide your blush or top that Janis: [when you have to make a face of disgust so it ain't straight up 😳] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [at least her going out for a run would not be weird if the teachers asked] Jimmy: [run baby run] Janis: [jump that fence, you're defs getting into trouble after the hols, starting the new term off well before finishing this one] Jimmy: [start as you mean to go on, everyone will be scandalised] Janis: [just ignoring each other lmao] Jimmy: [good luck with that] Janis: did you get lost Jimmy: did you pull a muscle? Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: no proof, just chat Janis: proof is how far behind you're lagging Jimmy: Piss off Janis: aw baby Jimmy: save your sweet talk, Judith Jimmy: you might need the practice but I don't need to hear it Janis: gotta concentrate on your 🗺 Janis: only so much 🧠 power a Northern boys got Jimmy: congrats on being a native, mate Janis: ain't that hard Janis: one main road Jimmy: I'll drop you in my old home town and you can let me know how well you crack on Janis: alright Janis: piss easy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: can't be much worse than here Jimmy: can be your own judge Janis: generous Jimmy: I ain't buying you a pint Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: I'll get someone of age to do that Janis: tah Jimmy: 🧠 and 🍀 Janis: just tits Janis: don't feel too bad Jimmy: I feel bad for you if you're banking on that Janis: 10 feminist points for you, pop up a status #ally Jimmy: I meant 'cause your sister's are better but alright Janis: didn't see her hauling her arse over no fence but alright Jimmy: nobody asked her, that'll be why Jimmy: must be politer than you an' all Janis: find your way back and shag her then, like Jimmy: If I fancied that I wouldn't be here Jimmy: but tah for giving us your blessing Janis: got more chance that than getting a drink Jimmy: take that 🍻 chance still Janis: tits aren't that good then Jimmy: To cancel out the lass attached she'd need them🥇 Jimmy: I'm new, but that don't mean I ain't got a single clue about nowt Janis: so made up you've seen a boob, mate Jimmy: me too, like Janis: 👌 Janis: [sends picture of drink like mission accomplished] Jimmy: 👏 Jimmy: you should post that somewhere you can actually brag Janis: tah for the suggestion Janis: wait 'til I'm finished Janis: Lucas don't need my location Jimmy: How else is he meant to propose? Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: you wanna 💔 him when I get caught cheating Jimmy: he's 💕 I'm just here to make you 😳 Janis: not talking about you, you ain't here Jimmy: not talking to me either, this don't count Janis: too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be thinking up #s for me if you've got the brain space Jimmy: How much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: get you a pint if you ever make it Jimmy: [struts in] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: [gets the lad to get 'em all a drink in, sure he is thrilled lmao] Jimmy: [#cockblocked] Janis: 👏 on not dying Jimmy: might do on the way back Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: wouldn't be a tragedy to miss more team building Janis: I don't wanna give you cpr Jimmy: don't bring it up then Jimmy: I never asked Janis: I don't care Janis: not catching a case 'cos you're suicidal Jimmy: I get it, you need the practice for that an' all Janis: I get it, you're a dick Jimmy: Is there owt you can do on the first try? Janis: none of your business Jimmy: no then Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't know me Janis: and you don't need to Jimmy: 👌❄ Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: sure Janis: so don't ask Jimmy: It weren't a real question, more of a dig Janis: like I said, I get it Janis: real edgy stuff Jimmy: whatever big head, you know things Jimmy: I got that myself ages ago Janis: yeah, you're dead convincing, hollyoaks Jimmy: I wouldn't bother auditioning if I were you Jimmy: they really care about tits Janis: you're fooled Janis: but thanks for the advice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone's going off 'cos only so long before they'd be obligated to call the police lol but they'd try to get contact first, massive 🙄] Janis: drink up, newbie Jimmy: no chance, I just got here Janis: you wanna be dragged out by a teacher Janis: that'll look well 😎 Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: [short lol like ha] Janis: alright then, enjoy Janis: [going out with the dude] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [after a period] Janis: I'll tell 'em where to find you then, shall I? Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: well it ain't gonna look very #goals but that's your choice Jimmy: Thought you were making the rules Janis: I ain't gonna drag you out, nice try perv Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: do whatever the fuck you are gonna do then, Jennifer Janis: 🙄 omg get out Janis: take the glass with you if you're aiming for impressive here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you trying to achieve Jimmy: We've done this bit, don't know each other, don't want to, ring any bells? Jimmy: and it should be obvious for a 🧠 like yours Janis: you want to get them to leave you alone, sure Janis: so you don't need to cause this scene Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Janis: I didn't come for no reason Janis: but I don't need the garda called on me Jimmy: I came here for my dad's bollocks reasons Jimmy: so maybe I do Janis: alright Janis: I'll say I ain't seen you then Janis: if that's what you want Jimmy: that won't look right Jimmy: we're meant to be love's young dream Janis: right Janis: so we've really gotta bonnie and clyde it? Jimmy: I'll find another way to fuck him over Jimmy: without dragging you down into it Janis: cheers Janis: consider it an IOU, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we should've taken more pictures Janis: I've text my sister, now they know we're not actually runaways/kidnapped/other, we can at least take our time before the bollocking Janis: get another drink if you want Jimmy: I don't have a 🔪 in my pocket everyone Jimmy: figure it out Janis: just pleased to see me, yeah Janis: good one Jimmy: 💀 pact's tomorrow Jimmy: and we're obviously using poison Janis: obviously, the ⛵ lake isn't deep enough to walk into the middle of Jimmy: and I don't have rocks in my pocket either Jimmy: they ain't that deep Janis: 💔💰 poor boy, right? Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: gutting Janis: I'll bring the poison then Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: I'll bring the 🥧 for you to poison Janis: it's for credit, by the way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: somehow shitter than I imagined still Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: you got a 🚬? Jimmy: only thing actually in my pockets Janis: don't need an inventory can I have one Jimmy: If you come here Janis: so bloody awkward Jimmy: I don't get credit for exercising, mate Janis: 🙄 yeah cheers for the training Janis: [comes in though] Jimmy: [waves because cheeky little shit] Janis: [😑 just puts her hands out like tah] Jimmy: I said, come here Janis: [stomps closer like boy] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him because 1. that bitch and 2. selfie opportunities shouldn't be ignored 3. shameless] Janis: [when you go hard for the selfies but then you push him back like oi] Jimmy: [when you likewise go hard for the selfies but then shrug and walk out knowing she'll follow you for that 🚬] Janis: you're so stupid Jimmy: *northern Janis: if you wanna do your people like that Janis: I'm just talking 'bout you Jimmy: We all understand what come here means Jimmy: my stupid dog just about does an' all Janis: fuck off Jimmy: Do you want a 🚬 or not? Janis: I did, you heard me Jimmy: Come on then Janis: [comes out but starts walking gesturing like let's go] Jimmy: [lights one for her and holds it out cos always] Janis: [takes it in silence] Jimmy: [walking and 🚬 in silence as is their standard] Janis: they better go easy on you 'cos you're a new kid and by proxy, me Jimmy: I'll play the 🎻🎻s loud Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: long as my parents don't find out and try to fuck with my holiday, give a fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: like you wanna be grounded for 3 weeks Jimmy: like that'd be his choice of punishment Janis: lucky you Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: poor you Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [is just 😒 but when is that not his face tbh] Janis: [so not gonna notice really] Jimmy: [deafening silence is also not a clue] Janis: don't snitch on me and I won't snitch on you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: later then Janis: [bolts 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's taking his sweet time and we all know it] Janis: [the very next day, room cleaning duty 'cos you've been bad eggs] Jimmy: here's your chance to see if anyone has anything to drink Janis: true Janis: I'll do Dan and Jake's room then, that's where my money is Jimmy: 💕 and 🍀 girl Janis: godspeed Janis: 📸 anything good Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬s and 💸 Janis: they ain't the sharpest Janis: plus they're terrified we'll turn around and say they went full on abuse of power away from school property Jimmy: You should let me in your room Janis: I ain't got nothing to steal, have at my sister's shit Janis: but seriously, they realise they've left us alone rn, dopes Jimmy: Later, dickhead Jimmy: when your sister is about Janis: twincest ain't the one Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Jack would disagree, clearly Janis: [retro pornmag moment] Janis: guess he knew the signal would be shit, clever boy Jimmy: can't be that clever if he ain't getting any off the page Janis: neither are you, like Jimmy: You're rocking my world, baby Jimmy: don't insult yourself Janis: 😏 Janis: right Jimmy: [a picture of some prescription pills] Jimmy: want these? Janis: won't even take offense to that implication Janis: go on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You should come then Janis: later Jimmy: I don't wanna do drugs with you, Jodie Jimmy: it weren't the idea Janis: I get the idea, moron Janis: I'm saying yeah, probably should Jimmy: Alright Janis: these kids are idiots Janis: why have they bought half this shit Jimmy: not all of them, I just found your sister's friend's binge stash 🍫🍪🍬 Jimmy: won't be starving in a bit Janis: that's evil Janis: someone'll die if she don't get her cals Janis: 🤞 it's grace Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: come and get a 🍪 Janis: not your stupid dog Jimmy: she follows instructions 50% of the time Janis: 🖕 Janis: maybe if you were a better trainer Jimmy: more for me 💕 Janis: you enjoy, I'm busy Jimmy: I get it, it's decent porn Janis: that's it 🙄😂 Janis: but you've put me off now, twat Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 🍀 I'm coming over later then Janis: obviously Janis: how morally dubious is it to put Kieran's missus' bra in say Janis: Leon's bed Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: I'd reckon you were morally obligated Jimmy: answering for everyone Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Pouring water in Brian's bed is gonna be my good deed for the day Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: Could've got into Catholic school well easily, me Janis: missed a trick Janis: you'd have loved it 📏😩 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: that is a username and a half Jimmy: Wait til you have a scroll, mate Jimmy: you'll be 😍🤤 Janis: 🍀 I don't need the sugar Jimmy: he ain't got the 💰 to be that kinda daddy Jimmy: and you ain't got step mum in you Janis: fuck you Janis: just 'cos you don't want that for you Jimmy: 'Cause you just said you're 😇 Jimmy: gotta be evil, knobhead Janis: suspect Janis: why you being almost nice Janis: you wanna share the swag I found Jimmy: #duh Janis: depends Janis: you eat all the 🍪s Jimmy: I'm only one lad Jimmy: there's fucking 1000s Janis: part-timer Janis: yeti could do it in five minutes Jimmy: you're the 😳🐷 Jimmy: but challenge accepted Janis: why you trying to give me an eating disorder Janis: you've already tampered with one bitch's today, like Janis: is it your thing? Jimmy: Why ain't you already got one? Jimmy: looks like most of the lasses at school have Janis: No I don't Janis: I'm not an idiot Jimmy: Sounds like something a lass with an eating disorder would say but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 Jimmy: cover me Janis: sure Janis: diligent as Jimmy: or come with Jimmy: if you want Janis: depends Janis: you giving me a 🚬 to stay skinny Jimmy: No need Janis: make your mind up Jimmy: I've never said you're fat Janis: bullshit! 😂 Janis: at least try to keep up with what you're dishing out Jimmy: I can't keep up with what ain't there Janis: the pig emoji is straight-up still on my screen, boy Jimmy: 🧠 and 😳 Janis: 😏 sure Jimmy: don't come then, girl Janis: shut up Janis: I want one Jimmy: Who's the biggest dickhead? We'll go in their room for it Janis: 🤔 Janis: 11 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: race you Janis: big mistake Jimmy: [obviously beats her but only because he was halfway there when he said they should race #sneaky] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [just fuming 😒] Jimmy: [😏 shamelessly and lounging on the bed of whoever the hell's room this is] Janis: ['cheater' and sitting on the floor] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like oi even though he is but also so she can sit on it if she want #softboy] Janis: [just looking at him like I don't want a pillow] Jimmy: ['reckoned you might need one after being such a sore loser' shrugs and throws some 🍬s from the stash he's pocketed her way instead] Janis: ['don't get sore that easy, boy' popping one in her mouth and throwing whatever spoils she found into the middle] Jimmy: [lighting up x2 first for her and then him and then lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, bit rude that you haven't looked at what she brought boy] Janis: [takes it but is just ashing it on the floor] Jimmy: [blowing smoke rings at this random kid's ceiling casually] Janis: [just on your phone like] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are trying not to fall asleep because blatantly on his phone all night to Bobby 'cause he was left with Ian] Janis: [allowing it 'cos no need to be that much of a dick, like] Jimmy: [accidentally doing that OTT dramatic jerking yourself awake thing after a bit, which there's no styling out] Janis: [lil 😏 'don't set the gaff alight, too far'] Jimmy: ['if that's where you draw the line, babe'] Janis: ['save the big stuff for the death pact end times'] Jimmy: [does a IRL 👍] Janis: ['he keep you up?'] Jimmy: [when you nod automatically but obviously who you mean isn't who she means but you can't then be like actually no] Janis: [shakes her head like dickhead but kinda fondly 'cos doesn't hate Ollie] Jimmy: [when he doesn't know they are related still so amused] Janis: [just looking like you have a crush lmao] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 you don't need immediately after you've put the 1st one out in this room cos you don't wanna leave] Janis: [hopping up onto the bed to look through the shit he found 'cos no rush to go back to cleaning or being with the rest either] Jimmy: [sneaky looking at her while she's looking at the things] Janis: [oh duh, she should have the holy grail in a backpack 'cos someone had to have some booze even if it's just cans or shitty alcohpops, get that out like now it's a #haul] Jimmy: [yasss get #day drunk kids, well not really because there wouldn't be enough but still, have at it] Janis: [just putting one on his chest like a bottle for a baby lmao] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: 💕🍺 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: ['Slainte'] Jimmy: [downs the drink cos the only thing to do when its shit] Janis: [the same] Jimmy: [eating all those sweet treats and necking all that booze having a lovely time] Janis: [get some energy boo] Jimmy: [being #goals together on the low] Janis: [selfie moment] Jimmy: [as always going harder than you need to] Janis: [gotta make people think you used your time wisely] Jimmy: [voting for the first ever love bite to happen rn] Janis: fuckin' vampire Jimmy: subtlety ain't always the way to get top marks Janis: alright 🤓 Janis: but if I die in a freak hickey accident, like they write about to scare bitches, you have to pretend to be devastated at my funeral Jimmy: you'll live, dry your eyes and wipe your mouth, like Janis: you with the blood, dickwad Jimmy: you with the 🍫, baby Janis: 😑 Janis: [but has to check] Jimmy: told you Jimmy: it weren't a pisstake Janis: you are Jimmy: 💔 Janis: could've at least wiped it off for me Janis: make it work Jimmy: I know how much you ain't about being touched Jimmy: I am making it work Janis: don't be a pussy Janis: [points at the love bite like duh] Jimmy: [shamelessly touches it while giving her a look] Janis: [when you just have to be like not phased face 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [when you have to do another even better one as a result cos #same] Janis: [giving him an ear one 'cos gotta one up the situ otherwise why are you doing this boys, we know why] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you have to be like ow to hide how into it you are] Janis: [🙄 but checks it sneaky like] Jimmy: [🙄 back cos what else can he do] Janis: you'll live Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you said it first Jimmy: you were 😢 first Janis: you're louder Janis: how much more trouble are you gonna get me in? Jimmy: how much more trouble do you wanna be in? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gotta return it of course] Janis: [need to hear people coming for the cockblock] Jimmy: [I was just about to say that] Janis: [better get outta this randos room sharpish] Jimmy: [when you can take her hand to run off cos you can play it off like in case someone sees us if she was like excuse you] Janis: [not gonna fight it though 'cos you can just say you were on the level] Jimmy: [we all know what's up] Janis: [are they going to her room or separate?] Jimmy: [good question, do you wanna do any afternoon awkwardness before that?] Janis: [we could do another lunch moment and see if we have any ideas] Jimmy: [I'm down to give them a fake coupley af lunch] Janis: [go cause a commotion honeys] Jimmy: [everyone would be so extra about their everything, I can't] Janis: [it'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [be a cliche and carry her food for her for a start boy] Janis: [sit at a table with like some people but only have eyes for each other, duh] Jimmy: [and they should whisper a lot cos it looks saucy but really they could be saying anything and are probably shading y'all] Janis: [deffo, as well as sharing food like you probably have the same shit on your plates there's 0 need] Jimmy: [#thosecouples at least they are being OTT on purpose like] Janis: [exactly, also everyone has peeped those love bites 'cos they were such a big deal when school like people would be wearing scarves like oh no don't look aha] Jimmy: [Grace about to stab herself with a fork, oh honey just wait til you get kicked out of your room later] Janis: [you gonna be heated and your friends are just gonna be at the door like 👂] Jimmy: [literally she is gonna angry cry and we all know it bitch] Janis: [you know there would've been convos this whole time, we should probably do that] Jimmy: [we totally can] Jimmy: [also he's totally slipping in some actual flirtiness with the whispers and we know it's not just to make her 😳 bye] Janis: [just angrily whispering back like imma fuck you up boy] Jimmy: [like she's not a white ginger where its gonna be that obvious nobody's checking you can calm down Jimothy, you're already also touching her way more than you need to for your own benefit] Janis: [gotta hit him with a footsie moment 'cos there's still nothing more obvious than when you're being faux subtle] Jimmy: [love that for them] Janis: [like you can't be too cray there are teachers in here lmao] Jimmy: [thank god, any actual PDA and Grace would die] Janis: [can have a moment on the way out to your activity try and stop 'em] Jimmy: [they want it as much as their audience does so sorry Mr Lucas you're outvoted, like] Janis: [when i went to camp mary and her mans were so extra at the end they got awarded camp's romeo and juliet so like as long as it keep pg 13 you're alright tbh and he loves it] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [okay trust falls and blindfold assault course moment for the afternoon] Jimmy: [lowkey having fun even though you're meant to be hating it] Janis: [when she'd be freaking out to him on the low like don't fucking drop me bitch 'cos trust issues but you gotta be #goals so he won't] Jimmy: [we know he'd piss about but it's actually fine, he can and will piggyback you in the future babe, he's got this] Jimmy: [#trustissuessquad because likewise would not enjoy that bit] Janis: [poor grace bouta die on the other hand, like courteney let ellie drop and she still doesn't trust her lmao] Janis: [good for tryna get attention like friends help me i'm hurt] Jimmy: [Grace would be living for that drama and also she gonna fuck that boy later so payback for you boy getting put in some vulnerable positions lol] ] Jimmy: [also she can cry off like oh I'm so injured so she don't have to watch the JJ show for a bit] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: sure there's a defrosting pack of peas going if you want the job Janis: not as popular as she'd like to believe Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: and so's she Janis: never how I'd put it, but no shit on that point regardless Jimmy: hang on, just gonna @ my dad to prove that my little brother ain't the biggest cry baby going Jimmy: She's 🥇 and you're 🥈 Janis: funny Janis: when I have him over for dinner he can see for himself Jimmy: Funnier Janis: i know Janis: not your fault you're 🥉 Jimmy: Reckons the lass who can't do owt first go Janis: the boy who still reckons he knows anything about me when we've been over this Jimmy: You nearly took my 👂 off earlier but I've still got both 👀 mate Janis: if i knew we were aiming to maim, you wouldn't have Janis: still got a 👄 you chat 💩 out of too, unfortunately Jimmy: [when you're trying not to lol] Jimmy: lovely you Janis: [😏] Janis: it's been said Jimmy: I get it, you've got form with the maiming, loads of blind and deaf lads about now Jimmy: Tah for letting me off so light 💕 Janis: well it ain't real, so only fair Jimmy: now I know you're a lass who plays fair Janis: you'd have different bruises to prove otherwise Janis: join her on sick bay 🤕🥴 Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Jimmy: You've gotta stop flirting with me, girl Janis: you'd know that too Janis: if I were Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [throws a 🍬 at her in full view of the bitch he stole them off] Janis: [good thing you ain't concerned about making friends/can catch, just smiling at her like cheers babe] Janis: you feeling left out? Janis: you gotta make a girl 😢 now, yeah Jimmy: Gotta give myself a break from that 👄 of yours Janis: shh Janis: don't say that out loud Jimmy: don't screenshot me and the secret's safe Jimmy: or wait until I say something about exercising your jaw for later and then hit post Janis: 😂 Janis: grim Janis: and unlikely humblebrag Jimmy: There, made a lass cry laugh, that'll do Janis: Soph can consider herself safe Janis: and welcome I took the hit Jimmy: 😇 you Jimmy: I remember Janis: someone's gotta Janis: so unappreciated Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Gimme a sec to find signal enough to tweet it Janis: gotta clue in all your fans that couldn't be here Jimmy: [does do some suitably cringey tweet of course] Janis: 😏 how you still expect to get laid after this holy show is beyond me Jimmy: I don't #duh Jimmy: transferring to that Catholic school as soon as, obviously Janis: they're the worst for it Janis: just say sorry afterward Jimmy: Everyone knows anal don't count, Judith Jimmy: do it for Jesus Janis: 'less it's with another lad, sodomite Jimmy: That'll be why Mr Lucas is my plan B Janis: yeah well, fight yer for him Jimmy: 💪🏆 Go on Janis: [just looking at him like really tho] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [play fight moment] Jimmy: [so flirty, get a room you two, she should win though obvs because he cheated on that race earlier] Janis: time to get some 📿 Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: You ain't getting shot of me that easy, babe Jimmy: Letting you win 'cause of how unappreciated you feel counts about as much as this counts as talking, like Janis: yeah right, whatever makes you feel better, loser Jimmy: Take your hollow victory 😘 Janis: I can beat you at anything Janis: any time, anywhere Jimmy: when it's #fakeforfake Janis: convenient for you, that Jimmy: nowt about this is Janis: 🎻 Janis: take your 👑 crybaby Jimmy: No tah, I'd have to touch your sister to get it Janis: she is a lot like that dragon in shrek Janis: fair Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she'll find the right donkey one day, I'm sure 💕 Jimmy: could save me a bit in 🚬 if she were blowing smoke about Janis: there's one pro Janis: you never talk so she could blather on as much as she likes Jimmy: I talk, just not to you Janis: and no one else here Janis: least of all her, so still counts, don't fight it Jimmy: I'd have to save all my strength to keep her off me Janis: you really saving yourself for marriage, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's a con, damn Janis: really thought I could get rid of her once and for all Jimmy: don't pretend she ain't the 👰💍 type Janis: obvs, but a massive slag, no child of the lord there Janis: allegedly my fathers Jimmy: My ex was a massive slag an' all Jimmy: I'll make it work Janis: great Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if you could move again and take her with, that'd be perfect Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: No need to wait that long for your real happy ending then Jimmy: were a bit rude how you've been such a tease about the 💀💀 pact but alright Janis: you'll do yourself in after a few months, max Janis: hmu then Jimmy: as a 👻 Jimmy: least I won't have to touch you and you can't me Janis: weren't planning on it wanker but exactly Janis: everyone gets to win Janis: she's the 🕷⚰ type Janis: love an excuse to cry forever Jimmy: might get her with my dad instead Jimmy: move over mate Janis: and I'm the one who can't follow instructions? 😑 Janis: stick to the plan Jimmy: plans change Jimmy: leave the crying to her Janis: just don't understand why you won't die for me tbh Jimmy: Not as 🧠 as you made out, eh Juliet? 💔 proper tragedy that Janis: it's your fault, you don't stick to your word ever Janis: nothing to do with me Jimmy: Nowt to do with you is right Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: How long is this bollocks gonna go on? I don't need to know how to build a raft Jimmy: or give a fuck if the 🦊 has 🐔 for his tea Janis: how you planning to navigate that sea of 😭 then? Janis: more practical than a maths lesson at any rate Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you're uninvited for a 🚬 Janis: fine, drama queen Jimmy: in a bit 🤓 Janis: just 'cos you can't keep up Jimmy: just 'cause you're working on commission Jimmy: hmu when you need art for your 'more practical than a maths lesson' poster Janis: that's your thing then Janis: makes sense Janis: had to be one of the two Jimmy: 👍 Janis: at least you won't be bringing out the acoustic around the firepit tonight Janis: small blessings Jimmy: only bring the 🎻🎻 me Janis: ha Janis: cute Jimmy: tweet it if you mean it, girl 💕 Janis: k, if you like Jimmy: I'll give it a like, yeah Janis: not even a retweet, cold Janis: do you want them to buy this or nah Jimmy: can't retweet my own praises Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: oh right, we're ignoring your giant head Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: Nobody likes a bighead, you should know, mate Janis: dunno what you mean Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you ain't being on my raft team, FYI Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: drown on your own time, I gotta win Jimmy: I'll already be in sick bay after how #savage that jab was Janis: almost as bad at faking it as her Jimmy: you being the only one that reckons so isn't gonna make me 😭 Janis: awh, but everything else does Jimmy: #whensheknowsyouproperwell 💕 Janis: it's true love 💕 Janis: as far as any of these idiots are aware Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤞😍😍 Janis: alright, this is boring now Janis: no one needs this health and safety bullshit Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: wouldn't have 💀💀💀d you to nod when I first said it Jimmy: 'Cause yeah, that'll be why I'm staying here 🚬 tah Janis: you wanna start agreeing on everything now Janis: not pretending we're married Jimmy: Tah again, this time for admitting I'm right about everything Jimmy: I was just talking about the once but alright Janis: you never said it was boring, technically Janis: and I never said that, get lost Jimmy: I might be lost 🤞 Janis: deep Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: geographically, dickhead Janis: how 😂 Jimmy: can't be lost if I know Janis: I mean, this place is not that big Janis: and signposted to fuck, where've you even gone, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: v helpful my dear Janis: soz I didn't put a chip in your neck whilst you were gnawing on mine Jimmy: It's alright, I know you can't do owt right, forget two things at once Janis: fuck off Janis: stay lost Jimmy: have done and will do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haunt you later then Janis: not that long since lunch Janis: you'll survive until one of the teachers finds you Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll pray for Mr Lucas obvs Jimmy: probably get Ms O'Brien Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: you know he's already in the water Janis: if he could get away with speedos, he would, whereas her turtleneck could not be higher Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 👙 on him and 🥔 sack on her Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: be why you ain't coming to my rescue Janis: 😏 Janis: obviously Janis: fine, hang on Jimmy: it ain't actually in the contract Jimmy: don't bother about me Janis: whatever, won't be hard Janis: then I'll just go back to my room after, peace and quiet Janis: anyway, her still in the sick bay gives me a valid excuse, concerned sister I am Jimmy: text me when you want me to show up Janis: ha, alright Jimmy: least if she's concussed we won't have to put on as convincing a show Janis: one can hope 🤞 Janis: sadly there's fuck all to damage in her head so Jimmy: Sounding like she will be my dad's perfect match 💘 Janis: does that mean you'll start showing up for dinner and xmas Janis: not part of the deal Jimmy: 🙏 they'll rent a cottage together and leave me the fuck out of it Janis: can get behind that Jimmy: #forlifenotjustforchristmas Janis: make it happen @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 'cause that's such a dream come true, I'm going to sleep Jimmy: don't miss me too much Janis: ..outside? Jimmy: If I get eaten by some animal or owt you can have my 🚬s Janis: 💘 Janis: romance aside, at least you'll be easy to find if you're 😴 Jimmy: Keep my snoring off the socials tah Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: but you look so cute baby Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: look cute all the time Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: goodnight, Jenna Jimmy: 😘 Janis: sweet dreams, dickhead Jimmy: just said they were guaranteed Jimmy: can't stop being a 😇 you Janis: not yet 😈 Jimmy: @ everyone who missed my earlier tweet Janis: yeah don't make me sound boring Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: can agree on that Jimmy: if I wanted boring I'd have asked Ms O'Brien to fake date me Janis: 😏 Janis: she could be a secret freak Jimmy: doubt she's bitten any ears off though Janis: missing out? Jimmy: the benchmark has been set Janis: oh please Janis: you loved it Janis: got the job done, didn't it Jimmy: tonight will Janis: yeah Jimmy: Owt off limits? Janis: you love 🍑 stuff, I get it Janis: but nah, I don't care Jimmy: 👴 love me Jimmy: #soznotsoz Janis: if I pretend to be Mr Lucas, it kinda defeats what we're doing here Janis: soz Jimmy: It's alright, I'm more 👵💕 live out your what would Ms O'Brien do fantasies Jimmy: you started strong, like Janis: admitting I do know what I'm doing? Janis: about time Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: you wish I would Janis: you wish I'd do the other side 👂 Jimmy: Yeah well fed up of this earring #newschoolnewme Janis: 😂 Janis: bye 😎 boy bye Jimmy: Tah for not having braces, you'd be dangerous Janis: if that's your thing you should deffo go catholic and start your religious training asap Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: and your thing is what, going from 🐷 to 🦈 after a few drinks? Janis: pigs have eaten far more humans than sharks ever have, for one, idiot Janis: and two, you only need to fake like you know exactly what I need Jimmy: sounds like fake news that Janis: your favourite word, that Jimmy: you don't need to know my fave word Jimmy: won't be on the test Janis: just the safe word, sure Jimmy: What's it gonna be? Trust fund's two Jimmy: Pony'll work Janis: great, you're a furry Janis: give me strength Jimmy: You don't need to know my kinks either Janis: stop being so obvious then Jimmy: It's obvious you're turned on by 💰 only trying to be accommodating until you secure Mr Lucas' teacher salary 💍💕 Janis: Obviously Janis: hit up some overworked and underpaid nurses whilst I'm at it Jimmy: Get that blood, vampire girl Janis: more fun making you bleed Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for the #fans that want it Jimmy: I know how much fun I am Janis: I tweeted about you last Janis: it's your turn to tweet about me Janis: if you can pry your hand off your dick for one sec Jimmy: you were last 'cause I always go first Jimmy: pull your weight Janis: not my fault you're premature Janis: well, obvs is but you know Jimmy: If that's the rep you want, Joanne Jimmy: [posts something extra about missing her that's like really hot and a mood] Janis: you care about my rep as much as I do Janis: though that post didn't entirely suck Jimmy: careful, that almost sounded like a real compliment Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend would you be Janis: never Janis: [can find him 'cos you know, has to at some point] Jimmy: I get it, you need the IRL inspo of seeing me now it's your turn again Janis: [😑 but sits down with and has to get close to match the mood of his post to take a #reunited pic] Janis: needs must Jimmy: Fake like you know what come here means and do it properly Jimmy: [When you shamelessly just wanna be more extra] Janis: [defs first lap sitting moment needed like don't test me boy] Janis: there Jimmy: [yassss having such a moment bye] Jimmy: and you reckon I need to be a better trainer Janis: stop comparing me to fucking farmyard animals and dogs Janis: [angry face right in his 'cos you ain't moved] Jimmy: Alright, Juliet next post I'll compare you to a summer's day Janis: hilarious Jimmy: necessary if you're gonna keep making that face Jimmy: can't have it sticking Janis: [makes a face like give a fuck] Jimmy: [😏 because she obvs does or why are they doing this ha] Janis: you're so smug Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: unduly Jimmy: How would you know? Janis: [gestures at him like it's obvious] Jimmy: [shrugs because again being a smug dickhead like you don't know me bye] Janis: [pushes on his chest to get up off him] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬] Janis: [takes it and starts walking but looks back like] Janis: follow me to civilization Jimmy: Why? Janis: because you're lost Janis: and you could be inside right now, undisturbed, for at least another 45 minutes yet Jimmy: Do the maths on that, did you? Jimmy: not sure if I can trust a #hater Janis: oh my god Jimmy: What? Janis: would it 💀💀💀 you to just come Jimmy: Are you trying to? Janis: what are you talking about now Jimmy: Gonna lure me to my death or not? Janis: tempting as you make it Janis: we have 2 of those shit drinks left Janis: unless there's something better we can do out here Jimmy: Help me up then Janis: 👴 Janis: [but does] Jimmy: Oi, you were sitting on me so long I've got a 💀 leg Janis: if that's how shit your stamina is how we gonna fake fuck convincingly Janis: sort it out Jimmy: you ate half my lunch, sort that out Janis: you didn't need it, skiver Janis: only using your voice, I had to actually do the course Jimmy: I had to keep you alive Jimmy: not as hard as your sister makes it look but still a challenge when you Janis: piss off Janis: I could've done that shit alone Jimmy: bollocks Janis: so could Jimmy: go on then, we'll recreate it Janis: [closes her eyes and struts for a bit like see] Jimmy: fuck that we're going to the course Janis: alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we know the drill, when you're being slow af so he's like do it properly and then you go faster and fall, not actually doing any damage but] Jimmy: [shamelessly helping her up even though she don't need it and being actually worried until you can see she's not hurt] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: didn't push you over Janis: [when you start to hobble away for the drama of it all] Jimmy: stop, dickhead Janis: [looking like, what?] Jimmy: [goes and helps her obvs] Janis: I could've done it Janis: you were rushing me Jimmy: Yeah, I were Jimmy: on the ⏲ Jimmy: you said 45 mins uninterrupted Janis: you challenged me Janis: we could've just gone inside Jimmy: you challenged you Jimmy: admit you need me Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: I heard some dumb shit Jimmy: [walks away but not far just to make the point cos she was leaning on him then] Janis: [😑] Janis: stop being a twat Jimmy: you Janis: you Janis: immature Jimmy: I'm a lad, we do it slower Janis: no excuse for acting like a kid is it Janis: [is less 😑 though] Jimmy: What's yours, I'll borrow that Janis: I'm injured, bastard Jimmy: You've been a knobhead since before I got here Janis: and how the fuck would you know thay Jimmy: I've heard some dumb shit an' all Jimmy: I told you, I ain't that new Janis: Exactly Janis: how would you know Janis: [walks off faster now, with as little hobbling as poss.] Jimmy: [stops her so he can try and help her again because not that rude] Janis: I don't need your help Jimmy: I don't need to offer but I am Janis: I'm meant to be grateful, yeah? Janis: do one Jimmy: [shakes his head because no and no and is helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: fine, white knight 'til we're back but then leave me alone Jimmy: [picks her up cos that's permission right there, if you say so boy #problematic and sure if anyone sees them it'll look #goals] Janis: [when you ain't speaking so you don't say no] Jimmy: [casual walk back in silence, obvs he gently puts her on her bed and leaves] Jimmy: [definitely takes a bottle out of the two that are left cos his share even though it's not gonna do fuck all] Janis: [when you're definitely like cheek but not gonna break your vow of silence to argue about that like] Jimmy: [okay so my idea is, he shows up later, knocking on the door which Grace answers so he knows she's there cos this is only gonna work if she was and sweeps in full of apologies like I'm so sorry you got hurt cos of me babe etc (which would kill Grace cos that boy ain't sorry and that's the tea) but critically there is some real sorry if there hidden for him being an actual dickhead, like. Even though we can pretend it's for Grace's benefit everything he's saying and why she has to accept and get back on this fake train] Janis: [good thinking my nugget] Jimmy: [he ain't that good of an actor and anyway he'd make sure she can see he's actually sorry too] Janis: [lbr she's too closed off to want to talk about it so she's gonna take it for what it is, even if this puts them back 10 paces, that's the vibe always] Jimmy: [gotta throw yourself fully into this pantomime so it don't get too real kids, really milking that injury and his nurse role] Janis: [truly, give them an oscar] Jimmy: [nobody give Grace one, cos we all see you] Janis: [when her friends are probably low-key over nursing her now like quit before they bitching to mia about you gurl] Jimmy: [literally that though, she'd have to have given it up which makes it ruder that Jimothy then shows up to do it for Janis] Janis: [oh this poor boy she's gonna be feeling murderous at now] Jimmy: [plus you know Jimmy would be being so hot about everything like 'oh does this hurt, what about this' as a shameless reason to touch up her entire leg] Janis: [just umming and ahhing like you're not sure so he has to keep doing it lmao okay] Jimmy: [Grace's friends just 👀🍿 while they're doing their make up or whatever] Janis: [welcome for tonight's entertainment ladies, be sure to tell the whole world, being that bitch by asking him to get you something like water and then being like 'don't go' 'cos they'd love that] Jimmy: [he should totally get his hoodie for her too which she still has #duh and put it on for her like she's an actual invalid] Janis: [get on the invaleed couch honey] Jimmy: [please say she's wearing the pjs rn for that throwback and mood] Janis: [of course, 'cos bitch actually does the activities so her clothes would be muddy, as if you weren't jello enough ladies like put that perf body away] Jimmy: [this is why as much as Grace wants to share a room she also doesn't because be more beautiful Janis goddamn] Janis: [cuts her hair off in her sleep or smothers her with a pillow] Jimmy: [also he should be ignoring his phone going off (we know its because fuck you Ian) because what would be more goals to Grace and her friends than full attention] Janis: [100%, though she should pick it up (when it ain't ringing like lol) and just go on it 'cos trust with the passcode too omg] Jimmy: [and bonus points that it adds to his new boy mystery like why is he so in demand] Janis: [god bless, when you'd be trying so hard not to lol at them at so many points] Jimmy: [literally do give them an oscar cos I could not] Janis: [kick it up a notch by being like 'you know what would make me feel better' 'cos it's a power move when the girl says it, nick from the act] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaas] Janis: [like we said though, actually have to make out 'cos no faking that part] Jimmy: [good thing they've got real chemistry] Jimmy: [just a really epic make out sesh for everyone to enjoy and Grace is like NOPE g2g] Janis: [facetimeing mia rn 'cos they think you too busy to notice and lbr, a bitch would screen record she creepy lmao] Jimmy: [Grace just stomping around fuming getting ready really quick by her standards meanwhile this is the hardest JJ have had to go, don't think about it] Janis: [oh babe you know they ain't gonna stop, meanwhile janis just freaking 'cos she ain't ever been arsed before and it feels good so whoops] Jimmy: [literally no acting going on from him here he's just fully into it cos no need to hold back unlike with the lovebite situ when you can pretend its all for that lot, any sounds you make or things you do] Jimmy: [taking that hoodie off her again like] Janis: [when an audience means you can do more, what is this time period, god bless] Jimmy: [it's my fave for a reason cos who else would even do this never mind take it this far] Janis: [just going for the other ear like she said she would] Jimmy: [at least he doesn't have to act like he's not into it/she's bad at it this time cos barely got away with that the first time] Janis: [there's no hiding it rn, deny it later lads] Jimmy: [that said he'd still have to whisper some kind of pisstake in her ear about it just so she can't be too smug later] Janis: [naturally, can't be too real with it] Jimmy: [loses some of the sass when you're breathless as hell trying to say it though so] Janis: [so you just 😏 now like heh] Jimmy: [just gotta pull her hair so you can pull her into you and a kiss to wipe that smugness off her face like nbd so casual rn] Janis: [when that kiss would be so aggressive bye] Jimmy: [it makes me die because Grace would NEVER let anyone touch her hair, not even the fam and especially not a boy it's like her number 1 THING so she can see that and it can be her cue to slam that door and go honey] Janis: [you should probably leave shameless friends like there's no reason for you to be in here now lmao] Jimmy: [them just hurrying off after her so gutted they gotta leave meanwhile JJ are gonna be gutted that they have to stop] Janis: [soz lads, purely for your audience, remember, at least he can't leave 'cos that'd look so rude like bye we done] Jimmy: [and you know her friends would be loitering lowkey cos Grace is in no mood to be followed and would sister snap so there's the excuse they don't need] Janis: [exactly, you gotta stick it out 'til a teacher finds you and kicks you out tbh] Jimmy: [Jimmy just aggressively drinking that water he got for her #thirstybitch so he don't have to look at her or say anything] Jimmy: [lowkey shady sir like lemme get the taste of you out of my mouth] Janis: [when you get up to look in the mirror like you're remotely arsed what you look like but really you're just assessing love bite damage] Jimmy: [pissing about with the bed once she's off it unscrewing something or whatever so they can pretend they broke it] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face] Jimmy: [shrugs and goes on his phone to check in with both Bobby and Cass] Janis: [wrapping her ankle with some tape she'd probably have brought 'cos sporty bitch not 'cos it's needed but for the look of] Jimmy: [does the face back at her cos good idea and gestures for her to go to the door and listen if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are being that extra or if they've gone] Janis: [hops over, again not 'cos she needs too but #bants and has a serious listening face on] Jimmy: [tries not to lol for what must be the millionth time honestly] Janis: [gestures for him to come over and nods like they're there but I have a plan] Jimmy: [comes over of course] Janis: [pushes him into the door and starts faking noises like you do the same keep up 'cos that'll shake them to their core but also show 'em that they're still going at it, like] Jimmy: [does as he's told this once] Janis: [least they wouldn't have to do that long 'cos they'd bolt because could not not lol out loud at that] Jimmy: [goes through Grace's drawers, finds her condom stash, opens one and ditches it but leaves the wrapper when it can obvs be seen at the top of the bin] Janis: [when you make a face that's like ew but fair] Jimmy: [🙄 but playfully cos not like you're living for this bit either] Janis: ['could've just pulled out, amateur' but whispering 'cos don't wanna be too loud unless for the right reasons yet] Jimmy: that the fave 🍀 method then? Janis: pretty much Jimmy: bit soon for a fake pregnancy scare Jimmy: and I obvs couldn't 'cause I want you so much 💕 Janis: obvs Janis: c'est la vie, just wanted the trip to Liverpool, like Jimmy: how many of these shall I do? Jimmy: [gestures to the wrapper like] Jimmy: don't wanna have to throw your sister on a ferry or under a bus Janis: [goes over to look how many there are and chucks out two more, opening one] Janis: she'd be buzzin' Janis: know she's the type Jimmy: My ex has got one she's bound to be regretting by now if she's that desperate, like Janis: [looks at the condom then him then down like awks] Jimmy: Piss off, it ain't mine Janis: [when you literally breathe out like phew] Janis: Jesus, lead with that Jimmy: [throws whatever stuffed toy Grace still sleeps with at her] Janis: [clutches the bear to her chest like 😲 faux outrage] Janis: how dare you treat Tuffie like that Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: be our secret, yeah? Janis: good thing you ain't a dad Janis: [throws the thing at him] Jimmy: raising two kids, only not with her Jimmy: [throws it back] Janis: [just playing catch at this point, obvs doesn't think he's got two kids like that so is like okay] Janis: explains why you're so knackered Janis: that and all the wild fake sex Jimmy: that'll do it Jimmy: [sits on Grace's bed and starts doodling on the back of his hand with her eyebrow pencil or whatever] Janis: those things are like 20 quid a pop Janis: [is clearly amused by this not mad, goes over to the window to open it and get some air] Jimmy: better start paying me then Jimmy: [does the good idea face again though cos letting that non existent sex smell out] Janis: you weren't fake that good and I'm not fake that desperate Jimmy: [😏 cos yeah he was] Janis: [kicks her bed so he wobbles] Jimmy: [is like OI cos of course his doodle smudges cos he's left handed anyway] Janis: [shrugs like you know what you did but goes over to the mirror where the makeup has been left, finds him the wipes and gets a lipstick and puts it on] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos not actually bothered also actually ambidextrous anyway so you choose to use that hand boy and we all see you shamelessly looking at her as well] Janis: ['hold still' and then covering his face/neck area with lipstick kisses quickly then smudging them with her fingers so they're faded] Janis: evidence Jimmy: you weren't wearing it before Jimmy: don't say much for me if you stopped mid go to put it on Janis: weren't my face they were looking at, new boy Janis: 😍 Janis: trust Jimmy: when it was attached to mine they were Janis: it's only a nude, not fuck off red Janis: wipe it off if you reckon though Jimmy: not my area of expertise tbh mate Janis: 🙄 Janis: then hush Jimmy: til you want me to get loud again sure Janis: they shouldn't come back now Janis: hopefully they have some life, like Janis: unlikely though it seems Jimmy: What about Grace? Meant to sleep here Janis: I'm hoping she's Ophelia'd herself in the lake Janis: probably go in with them now, idk Jimmy: If she's beat us to the 💀 pact, I'm 💔 Janis: gotta get the attention back somehow Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: [leans out of the open window to 🚬 cos can't leave yet] Janis: purely post-coital, obviously Jimmy: you should have one an' all then Janis: [puts fingers up like 'three' but smiles like jk] Janis: go on then Jimmy: [obviously lights her up cos a princess can never fuck opening your own doors @ nick in the act this is the real #goals] Janis: [cheers motion, also it's clearly a small window/small room in general so they'd have to be close rn] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly, so much of your bodies touching casually] Janis: [when you'd be so aware of it after dry humping each other for however long there] Jimmy: [literally though and she did not have many clothes on at all so] Janis: [still don't rn like hi] Jimmy: [when you remember because you're brushing up against so much of her bare skin so you fetch the hoodie again like a dutiful bf even though nobody's watching] Jimmy: [making her hold your 🚬 while you get it] Janis: [puts it on 'cos lbr you both need another layer between you rn] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out of it for her unthinkingly, how intimate excuse you boy] Janis: [just freezes casually like] Jimmy: [when you just take a step back like] Janis: [just goes and sits on Grace's bed to finish it 'cos whaddya care tbh so unphased by all of this] Jimmy: [he'll be here unmoving like musical statues nbd] Janis: [on her phone seeing if any of the goss has ended up there yet 'cos invariably will, sends him a gossipy ass post with '😂 #missionaccomplished?' Jimmy: 👍 Janis: guess you can go now then Janis: do you reckon Jimmy: [his phone is going off again too but it's just the fam so ignoring for rn] Jimmy: Alright Janis: unless you wanna try to sleep Janis: clearly the teachers are too pissed to be clued in right now Jimmy: [fixes her bed and lies on it] Jimmy: remind me to break it again Janis: will do Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [closes his eyes but nobody falls asleep that fast and we all know it] Janis: [quietly like 'night' and turning the big light off and putting on a lamp by the bottom bunk as if this is such a casual situation] Janis: don't freak if I have to hop up there if Grace comes back, yeah Jimmy: [when the pillow obvs smells like her cos its hers and you're just lying there like mistakes have been made before the thought of having to lie with her has even crossed your mind] Jimmy: even if I do, I'll fake I ain't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 me Janis: [little lol] Janis: lucky for you casper, I don't sleep, so she won't reckon you've kicked me out my own bed or nothing Jimmy: I know you're a vampire already, don't need to convince me, girl Janis: no neck biting Janis: scout's honour Jimmy: Saving it for the bus back, I get it, why wouldn't you? Janis: my parting gift to you, babe Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: well romantic that is Janis: ain't it just Janis: beats whatever the shit giftshop has got on offer Jimmy: So cute you Janis: bullshit am I Jimmy: I'll steal you a pen or fridge magnet, make you believe me Janis: 🧸 obviously needs a friend Janis: cute enough for ya Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 🐷 🦈 or 🐴? Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: alright 🧸 if you wanna twin with Grace that bad Janis: fuck off or I'm breaking the bed whilst you're still in it Jimmy: just don't kick it Jimmy: might get more than fake injured Janis: thanks for the fake concern Jimmy: hot as that bandage is, like Janis: vampire, not a mummy, got it Janis: fucking halloween up in here Jimmy: what you wanna be the easter bunny or? Janis: that's the cliche hot option, ain't it Jimmy: give us some 🍫 then Jimmy: she must have it hidden somewhere Janis: you just lay there whilst I look, your highness Janis: [but is] Jimmy: could've asked you to make me a sandwich Janis: you want me to smack you that badly, just ask Janis: [finds some 'cos obvs knows her and throws it up] Jimmy: 🤤😍 etc Janis: I felt that, so convincing Jimmy: I know you can feel every bruise, babe Jimmy: that job's done with Janis: thank god Janis: 😷 Jimmy: 💔 etc Janis: go to sleep, dickhead Jimmy: [as if on cue Bobby's blowing his phone up cos can't] Janis: can get that, like Janis: got 🎧 and not bothered what you're chatting about Janis: sounds important Jimmy: I'm tired Jimmy: [but obvs does because has to] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [casually the longest convo ever, poor bab] Janis: [doesn't listen 'cos ain't that bitch but does take 'em off for a sec to see if he's done but is like oh when he ain't] Jimmy: [why you gotta be so shit Ian it was your idea he went] Janis: [when you can't get your own kid to sleep like] Jimmy: [when you don't try cos you're the shut the door on him type aka my mum lol] Janis: [goes out for a wee, get a drink etc so he doesn't feel rushed or like she would be listening] Jimmy: [when you're done but then can't sleep cos mad at your dad so 🚬 at the window again] Janis: [has brought him a drink too so when she sees he's up puts it on the window sill for him but doesn't speak 'cos can read the room well enough] Jimmy: [staring out the window furiously excuse him] Janis: [a look she knows personally so not going to be up in his face, just gets back on Grace's bed] Jimmy: let's go Janis: okay Janis: anywhere, yeah? Jimmy: [downs the drink she brought him to show it's appreciated thank you bae] Jimmy: Teacher's block first, that's the real holy show Janis: [raises her eyebrows like what you got planned but nods 'cos regardless, swapping her shorts for joggers before they go like] Jimmy: were gonna say put some clothes on Jimmy: don't tell anyone though Janis: [mimes zipping her lips] Jimmy: so many secrets, I know Jimmy: [touches the OG lovebite] Janis: [opens the door with a flourish like lead the way 'cos can't dwell on that/make it a moment] Jimmy: [walks through but then remembers what she said about halloween and runs back to take all the toilet paper he can find like a little nerd] Janis: [😏 wid it, helps] Jimmy: 🎃🧛👻 Janis: [a bit of lowkey mindless vandalism will help take your mind off it] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 🤞 🐰 girl Jimmy: [that and spying on the teachers in general would be fun for that hot goss] Janis: I won't hop, if it's all the same to you Janis: [deffo, we know they're schwasted] Jimmy: what kind of fake injury Jimmy: you gotta commit, Jules Janis: the idea is, no one sees us Janis: if we get caught I'll fall dramatically into your arms, yeah Jimmy: No need Jimmy: [picks her up like he did earlier but with a very different vibe we know] Janis: ['this is committing, yeah'] Jimmy: [a look] Janis: [looking back like half challenge half like what's up before tapping his back like let's go] Jimmy: [boy we get that you wanna be distracted by her specifically in a specific way but please calm down] Janis: [can't let you do that yet lads] Jimmy: [on you go to annoy the teachers and spy] Janis: [at least that'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [before they go back they should see Grace leaving that lad's room but obvs she don't see them] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [gives her a ? look cos maybe he was focused on teacher drama still] Janis: [shakes her head and starts walking not in the direction of the rooms] Janis: got any 🚬 left Jimmy: [obvs does and obvs lights one for her and then himself] Janis: [heading outside and to a bench to smoke in silence] Jimmy: [sits near but not close] Janis: ['just gutted we didn't learn O'Brien's a dark horse, like'] Jimmy: ['she ain't no lightweight, next time'll be the one, heard it's France'] Janis: ['next time then'] Jimmy: ['it's a date'] Janis: ['ain't gonna be dead by then?'] Jimmy: ['Depends'] Janis: [nods like I feel you] Jimmy: ['Taking that as your personal guarantee the poison you got is stronger than the shit they're drinking, don't let me down, rich girl'] Janis: ['it's lethal, trust me' and a look] Jimmy: [nods like good] Janis: ['you should go in, get some sleep at last'] Jimmy: [nods again but doesn't move] Janis: ['want me to return the favour and carry you?'] Jimmy: [😏 'on that proper dodgy ankle, no way baby' and playfully nudges it with his own foot 'sleep on the bus with you as my pillow, tah'] Janis: [shakes her head but is 😏 back 'well soz my tits aren't bigger then'] Jimmy: ['me an' all, would make this shit easier to fake'] Janis: ['you're such a cunt'] Jimmy: [gives her a well I'm soz about that then sarcastic look] Janis: [kicks him but not hard as she gets up 'later then'] Jimmy: [is all oi as per but not really ever mad] Janis: [shrugs like what you gonna do about it and goes off in the direction of a trail to do a casual run at whatever late o'clock this is] Jimmy: proper miss you already 💕 Janis: beam it into the night sky, batman Janis: I already know Jimmy: hang on, trying to do a 😳🐷 Jimmy: you see it yet? Janis: you're meant to be an artist Janis: sort it out Jimmy: never said I were Janis: you did Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I reckoned I could sort you a poster Jimmy: so could my little brother Janis: good enough Janis: get to work Jimmy: very inspiring you Janis: soz I don't look more like a pig Janis: you who keeps on saying it Jimmy: it's you who keeps going pink Jimmy: soz I didn't have a hoodie in that colour Janis: erm not even once Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: You coming to bed or what? Janis: I can't be in the same room as her right now Jimmy: be in mine then Janis: alright Janis: cheers Jimmy: Alright, come on Janis: just gotta circle back Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: such an athlete, I know Janis: I never said that either Janis: but yeah, I won't deny it Jimmy: Don't have to, still got my 👀 Jimmy: not fully closed or owt yet Janis: Impressive Jimmy: can't deny it Janis: 🙄 Janis: [showing up 'cos wouldn't have got too far] Jimmy: [just quietly like 'hey'] Janis: [lil awkward laugh like 'alright'] Jimmy: [and it's back to walking in silence] Janis: [when you don't know if he's giving you his bed or you're about to get in together so you're mentally preparing yourself for either] Jimmy: [when you know you're gonna share (can blame Ollie's presence but we know the truth and that he's sleeping) so preparing yourself for that since you didn't think it through before you said it] Janis: [styling it out like you're way more confident than you are 'cos can be part of the act, hence she'd take her joggers and the hoodie off casually 'cos wouldn't sleep that clothed but waits for him to get in first like your bed] Jimmy: [we all see you taking your top off boy even though there's no need] Janis: [👀 when you looking but try to be subtle please] Jimmy: [she's earned that right tbh he's seen and touched so much of her by now] Janis: [fair] Jimmy: [in you get kids for your single bed forced closeness] Janis: [get used to it tbh, at least he's clearly tired af so can at least pretend he's sleeping even if he ain't] Jimmy: [they are both too tall for this to be comfy you'd literally have to be all over each other] Janis: [again, no denying you're into it, just have to stay quiet if you wanna pretend lads] Jimmy: [the realest] Jimmy: [and don't move too much, don't need to get betrayed by your boy parts there Jimothy] Janis: [as amusing as that would be for us, don't need you to die of shame] Jimmy: [🐘 in the room now and definitely earlier because there is no way you could do all that shit and not] Janis: [she'd be like, don't take it personally, that shit just happens but it doesn't just happen if you're not into it at all, like] Jimmy: [mhmm as much as his internal monologue be like well I can't help that we all know if it was Grace or whoever you wouldn't be feeling it so bye] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [if it was Mia it'd go back inside his body] Janis: [lmao you wouldn't know she was in the bed with you tbh] Jimmy: [don't ever wanna think about her hooking up with anyone my god] Janis: [amazing it happens so much] Jimmy: [just gonna think about JJ having a spoon instead thank you] Janis: [indeed, much nicer] Jimmy: [at least he is tired enough to fall asleep eventually because that'd feel like the longest night ever if not] Janis: [let her have some too or rude for likewise] Jimmy: [pray you don't dream about earlier either of you] Janis: [hope neither of you sleep talk] Jimmy: [can't be that cruel omg] Janis: [awks when ollie wakes up like hi] Jimmy: [you gotta run girl, really hit him in those abandonment issues when wakes up] Janis: [see you on the bus] Jimmy: [#awks] Janis: [gotta sit next to each other though, at least faking it for the fans will break the ice] Jimmy: [least there's only so much coupleyness you can do there if you're not making out, no need to go as hard] Janis: [mainly the aforementioned snuggling] Jimmy: [first time he ever plays with her hair in a soft way which will forever be his future fave] Janis: [just imagined grace from her seat like 😒] Jimmy: [honestly, probably crying on the low because contrary to popular belief she is capable of subtlety when needed to protect herself like that] Janis: [but we must know, did he go to the giftshop] Jimmy: [he had to steal her a teddy of some sort or I swear to god] Janis: [she can take a selfie with that then] Jimmy: [probably the kind of crap sort that have a t-shirt on of the place but he didn't spend money on it so] Janis: [it's the #brag that counts, they'd be jel] Jimmy: [exactly and it's points for him with her cos he stole it like he said he would and didn't get caught or anything cringe] Janis: [exactly dr phil dem sneaky feels] Jimmy: [and the reminder of this trip when she thinks its all she's gonna get] Janis: [lmao what a headfuck like you're just gonna pretend you don't know each other now okay lads] Jimmy: [in what world also everyone would be like UM what] Jimmy: [I love how they haven't discussed it once] Janis: [ridiculous] Jimmy: [it's the best thing likewise how nobody's gonna think she's gay after those bedroom antics so there's no reason for her to agree to anymore but she do] Janis: [be more blatant with your flimsy reasoning guys] Jimmy: [you silly eggs] Janis: thank fuck it's the holidays Jimmy: 🙌 Janis: 💃 Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: 👙🕶 Jimmy: 😎 forever obvs but 🎊 that you can't take the piss about it Janis: every ☁ Jimmy: ⛅ Janis: just remember to sign off with a post about how you'll miss me though Jimmy: it's drafted Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I get it, your 👅 is tied around me, babe Jimmy: lemme write it for you Janis: trust falls were yesterday Janis: what are you actually gonna write Jimmy: refresh my feed in a bit Jimmy: it'll be there Janis: shifty Jimmy: I ain't forgot how easily you scare Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: yeah, in a bit Jimmy: hang on in there Janis: do my best Janis: feel 💀 approaching though Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude to outlive me when we made a pact Janis: I'm more of a shootout with the law kinda girl Janis: what can I say Jimmy: nowt 'cause you should've said before Janis: don't remember signing nothing Janis: in blood or otherwise Jimmy: 💀💌 got a massive J scrawled on it, my dear Janis: [😏] Janis: fine Janis: see you at the funeral, beloved Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Your sister keeps staring at me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [such a GOOD long kiss that's no less intense than any of their others but softer and therefore easier for him to say is 1000% fake cos she don't know what a #softboy he is yet] Janis: [you know the bus would wheyyy 'cos nowhere to hide so even if you're caught off guard you've gotta play into it yeah] Janis: surprised she can see fuck all Janis: 😭 Jimmy: thought you were gonna say you blinded her Jimmy: save all your maiming for me, eh 💕 Janis: 'course Janis: doesn't get that biblical Janis: my brother's deaf but that's fuck all to do with me alright Jimmy: sounds fake but alright Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['wipes it off his face with her hands then cups his chin you know what I mean ott cutesy] Janis: rude Jimmy: [giving her those OTT 😍 so fake mhmm] Jimmy: Teach me some sign language then Janis: [says something along the lines of 'I'm gonna maim you' I hope Grace isn't looking that hard, just like excuse me, teaching him swear obvs 'cos first thing anyone does lol] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time learning and loling its fine Grace will be blinded by her tears after that cute kiss] Janis: [when you forget you're putting on a show but this is a mood anyway so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally though, love that for them] Janis: [even the teachers can't be mad 'cos you know they'd be like ooh they know sign language teach everyone 'cos it looks good on them] Jimmy: [Grace is the only one fuming honey, texting Mia like] Janis: [that snek, just gonna keep that 'i fucked your brother' 'til it really hurts] Jimmy: [she's the literal worst and Pablo is too hot for you, girl] Janis: [what a time] Jimmy: [is there anything else we want to happen, besides a dramatic hug goodbye at the end obvs] Janis: [and taking off his hoodie to give back] Jimmy: [but he's like no, boy don't be giving your clothes away she's richer than you] Janis: cute bit Janis: I'll drop it off somewhere covert, like Jimmy: You'll have stretched it Janis: please Janis: you stupid Jimmy: Take the closest thing to a tit compliment you're getting off me and leave it out Janis: 🙄 Janis: you're alright, thanks Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: make sure you tweet that out 💕 so sweet to me, you Janis: you said you drafted it Janis: ugh Jimmy: My bit, yeah Jimmy: [but also sends out that pic she took of herself in the hoodie way back when remember with a post about how he's letting her keep it cos it looks better on her etc] Jimmy: that ain't it though Janis: guess I'll have to put my thinking cap on Jimmy: if you can find one to fit your big head once all the comments, likes and DMs flood in] Janis: nope, I'll take this fame and run with it Janis: all I ever wanted, obvs Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🤩 me Janis: you'll always be my no.1 fan, babe Janis: 😘 Jimmy: Babe OMG 😭💕😘 Janis: I know, so sweet Janis: 😇 you might say Jimmy: You would Jimmy: I'd go 😈 Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: You really want one last 😳 for the road, yeah? Jimmy: You'll always be my 😳🐷, girl Janis: Wow 😭💕😘 Jimmy: I know, Shakespeare's #quaking Janis: yeah, well known pussy destroyer, old bill Jimmy: [laughs] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [showing her how extra everyone is being on that post obvs] Janis: [between an eyeroll and vaguely smug 'cos it's worked but people are cray] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can do replies if she wants, enjoy seeing that trust again peeps] Janis: [when you get to be a funny bitch, hands him hers like there's Mia say hi] Jimmy: [obvs does and it would obvs also be hilarious, he'd probably literally facetime her rn like oh hey cos doesn't give a fuck] Janis: [don't get feeling special, babe] Jimmy: [when he's a better mean girl than Mia bye] Janis: [cackling] Jimmy: [If you weren't into him before Janis, you will be now] Janis: she's such a cunt Janis: wish I coulda seen her tryna haul ass up a rock wall though Jimmy: we can 💀💀 her when we get back Jimmy: I'll put my thinking cap on Janis: could blow on her and she'd go tbh Janis: that was ON, btw, don't get ideas Jimmy: I did read it as let her blow me Jimmy: not that ride or die for you, mate Janis: her teeth are probs false so it'd be a good time Janis: 👵 Jimmy: Alright, I'm in Jimmy: [sends a pic of Norman Bates' dead mum in the OG psycho you know the one] Jimmy: Just my type that Janis: why stop at a beej Janis: dress her up and take her for a spin 'round your room, like Jimmy: It's a date Janis: that's why you 😎 huh Janis: psycho eyes Janis: no faking emotion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't forget my crows feet Jimmy: It's alright though I reckon I look decent for 45 Janis: too cocky for a predator, honestly Janis: 🙄 Janis: got the receipts and everything, boy Janis: man, whatever Jimmy: If you hear sirens, they're for me Jimmy: Calm Mr Lucas down however you like Janis: awh, you wanted to start a ⚪ Janis: that's cute Jimmy: still time or? Janis: he's only got 👀 for me and it's very fucking rude to suggest otherwise Jimmy: Is that what he told you? #awks Janis: shut up Janis: shit stirrer Jimmy: I'm not talking Janis: tryna break me and my mans up Janis: got a taste for it, like Janis: fuck 👻 boy, you're a monster Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: holiday flings been fun and all but he's dependable Janis: penciled in every Wednesday, last period, like Janis: 😍😍😍 #getyouamans Jimmy: the point were I don't want one Jimmy: 🙏 only Janis: the ultimate Man Janis: I get it Janis: 😇 repent, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: soon be time to be a 😈 and 💔 me Janis: that's the storyline, yeah? Jimmy: Got a better one? Janis: Nah, just wondering Janis: cool, I'll find a willing participant then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [scrolling through the post 'cos lads be horny on main] Jimmy: [when you're so 😒 but you can't let it show] Janis: [dw this plan lasts like 10 secs you thirsty hoes] Jimmy: [don't even go into how triggered he'd be cos how much his ex cheated bye] Janis: [exactly dr phil it doesn't happen for all the reasons and we know it] Jimmy: [boy just shut down over here nbd nothing to see people] Janis: [when you notice but you're not gonna bring that up but you put the phone down like k and go back to chillin'] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's just texting Cass on the way back from her trip, distracting himself with big brother duties, like] Janis: [when usually you get picked up from school after a trip but you know ian ain't coming honey] Jimmy: [literally, he will have to go himself so fingers crossed they get back earlier than her trip does] Janis: [least they at the same school and live near it but still, also janis and grace in charming moods so welcome home! lmao] Jimmy: [Caleb chatting away in the car in portugese god bless] Janis: [when ain't no one talking to you, janis probably didn't wanna get in like oh lads] Jimmy: [break my heart all of y'all, Grace only speaks to be like drop me at Mia's] Janis: [aren't you so glad you had 10 kids looool] Jimmy: [truly]

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zwiezraczek · 6 years

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Lance began to be insecure entering to the Garrison, an essay by me

We know Lance have insecurities, I'm not Sherlock for discovering that but we had hints about it since season 1 episode 1 and nobody seemed to care. (not blaming, just seeing)(I will just focus on season 1 because I watched this and I got hit by a truck when seeing this)

Minor spoilers from s7

From what we know, entering to the Garrison is a big deal right? I mean, Shiro “helped” Keith to get in because teachers weren't able to see his talent through his hot-head. But imagine Lance. He made it himself, he had to work like an ant to achieve what he always wanted: to be a pilot. Or maybe he was talented enough to not work and to just succeed. And it will be my statement according to his behaviour.

Imagine little Lance, being the best at everything without even moving a finger because he's talented and everybody keeps telling him so, so he works a bit, but not too much because it's easy coming. He finally gets into Garrison and then he faces the reality: he isn't the best anymore. Everybody is talented, more talented than him, they all are great: engineers, pilots, fighters... And little tiny Lance is just... Here? And above all, he's looking up to Shiro the hero. He wants to be like him, but fuck there are so many others who seem to be better than him at literally everything. Especially Keith who's Shiro's “favourite”, who is Lance's rival but only in his mind because he needs something to push him to work more and to be the best. But there are always people who are better than him and that kills him, especially because he can't reach Keith's level that he wants to once touch or even reach.

Ep 3 s1:

“Hasta la later Keith!” This means a lot to him. His rival is out, so now he feels more powerful. That's selfish, that's a bad attitude but he feels confident again, at least a bit because he finally won the fight.

Ep 1 s.1:

Lance is gently reminded by Iverson that he's a second choice, that it's thanks to Keith that he's here, not thanks to himself. But let's face the fact that he's at the Garrison, where the best of the best students are and even if you are one of the worst in this school you are one of the best students on Earth (let's assume that Garrison is a multi nationalities school). And Lance still feels bad about the fact that he's just a second choice, and that's normal, and he wants to be the best at what he does and to be cool and he finally drowns himself in all of his expectations.

“You're a cargo pilot.” - Keith. This is one of the most heart breaking thing for Lance I suppose: his rival can't remember him and worst he's not even his equal because he only remembers him by his less important function. That hurts.

The only person that isn't teasing him about his abilities is Shiro: “Nice job Lance” // “You're the worst pilot ever!” - Keith. He acknowledges him that he matters by remembering his name after they met (and Lance dies that's why he's hesitating to take his hand)

“Whatever dropout” - Lance to Keith. And that's when I got hit by a truck in the middle of my feelings. The only thing that Lance is reproaching to Keith is that he's a dropout, something that is really degrading to him because he was always told that he was the best and being a dropout was a shame.

“It's been an honour flying with you guys” - Keith. Okay, this is for my Klance heart, there Lance could see some recognition from Keith, his rival who said that he was the worst pilot ever, who just the fuck said that it's been an honour flying with him (for two days lalala) (and the whole team but let's just erase this fact from our memory). Lance.exe stopped functioning at this moment I guess

Ep 3 s.1:

“I know we're supposed to be brave but honestly I just want to go home” - Lance. He can't find his place here, it's something brand new for him meaning that he begins from nothing, he has to build something. But I can say how hard it's to build something when you just began to build something before and something just made you change places to begin to build something new. It happened to Lance at the Garrison and when he finally began to find his place there he was forced to abandon it.

Ep 7 s.1:

“I got fire power! - Hey, I want that!” Keith & Lance. Jealousy. That's typically what's happening to people who are lacking confidence, or who were once good at something and everything came easily. It's like “Why him, doing the same thing as I do, has something that I can't have?”, it's kind of frustrating to feel this way, to feel worse than the others when you have been 'the best” for so long.

“That is a better idea” - Keith. Same as for the quote with honour, but here Lance is the only subject of the recognition, and that feels awesome. He's finally seen as an equal, or maybe someone a bit smarter thanks to his plan, and that may warm his heart because his rival literally said to him that he had a better idea than him. It can only warm a heart.

“Who do you think you are dealing with? A bunch of amateurs? *hits a rock* - You really want me to answer that? - No...” Lance & Shiro. The most shameful moment for Lance: his hero saw that he is clumsy, maybe not worth being a paladin. These things escalate pretty quickly, when you aren't confident enough, every single error anybody points out about you (especially someone you like and admire) seems to be the end of the world. And that kind of was the end of Lance's world when he answered “No” because he's now fully aware of the fact that the only person who considered him as an equal since the beginning can change his mind, and consider him as someone less valuable.

AND. One last thing, I saw somewhere that Lance's personality may be the result of him being just smol when he was a child, I personally think that his loud personality is the result of not knowing who he really wants to be, how to achieve it, how to be someone he would like to be. He builds himself up, he tries new things, he knows he's not perfect (now) but he tries his best to be the best version of himself at the Garrison: being the best or not at school. It's his way to cope with failure, the big failure he might live while entering at the Garrison: discovering that, after all, maybe he's not that special.

But in the end, Lance is special. He's a Paladin of Voltron, Blue and Red love him (and maybe Black please let this happen), he is the one putting smile on the whole crew's face by telling jokes (I know they all make these silly faces when Lance speaks but deep in their hearts they don't know what they would do without him), he's comforting them (even if he's the one needing comfort), to sum everything up: he's kind of essential to the crew but he can't just see this.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#voltron #vld #voltron season 7 #voltron spoilers #vld s7 #vld s7 spoilers #lance mcclain #lance is a little insecure bean we need to protect #blue paladin #red paladin #I mean we need to protect him and I'd love to see him with a bright smile #again #aaaah this gave me feels #why am I like this writing things that will made me cry?#why am i like this #why am I relating to this #this was my ted talk #Loverboy Lance

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origami-goblin · 6 years

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Starfinder Theme Focus - Spacefarers and Xenoseekers

First of all, let me apologize. It's been MONTHS since I teased the final article on Starfinder themes and leaving this series in a perilously unfinished limbo. I wish that I had a decent excuse to explain it, but unfortunately I don't have that either. So please, accept my apology, and let's get to the conclusion of this series!

We've covered a lot of bases - Ace Pilots, Bounty Hunters, Icons, Mercenaries, Outlaws, Priests, and Scholars, which means that today we will be talking about Spacefarers, Xenoseekers, and briefly touching on the Themeless concept. That's still a ton of ground to cover, and I'm a bit intimidated even thinking about it. Concluding this intense detail into Starfinder's themes will be bittersweet - not only because it'll be over, but also because there's no way to fully encapsulate the entire, endless spectrum of characters you can create within Paizo's Starfinder universe. That's what's really great about the Themeless option; if none of the other themes do your character justice in describing their schtick, then you can always go Themeless and solve that particular problem.

Whenever I create a character, I will usually start by trying to find an interesting or obscure feat, characteristic, theme, etc and build the character around that. Some people are really creative and come up with amazing backstories first and build the character to fit their artistic vision. Although that'll happen on occasion, I'll generally determine a character's backstory after I've fleshed out their vitals and statblock. The important thing for me is that my characters stand out. Not from a min-max perspective (if that's what you enjoy then keep doing it!), but from a standpoint of going outside the norm and playing a character with abilities that people may have never experienced before.

Stone Warder Sorcerer? Breadth of Experience feat? Archivist Bard? All of these types of choices go leaps and bounds to hint and what the character is all about. A Stone Warder Sorcerer would be something like an Earth Bender from Avatar, gaining their powers from the rocky world around them. Characters with a Breadth of Experience are ancient, meaning that they've seen and heard nearly all there is to know. Bards with the Archivist archetype aren't going to be dishing out much damage, but they are constantly scribbling down their experiences and every bit of lore they can get their hands on. And just like that, a single piece of your character's statblock can literally define them.

That's partly been the point of these posts about the Themes in Starfinder. Sure, you can come up with an absolutely AWESOME character concept and attach a theme that fits that character. No problem. But if you're having trouble coming up with a character, the options listed in these posts are meant to assist you in launching off into the incredible Imagisphere to create a truly unique character.

Alright, I've babbled so much that I've turned into a brook. (Sorry if I've used that particular moniker already...it's been a long time since my last Starfinder post). Time to finish off the series!

Spacefarer Character Concepts

"Your longing to journey among the stars can't be sated. You yearn for the adventure of stepping onto a distant world and exploring its secrets. You tend to greet every new opportunity with bravery and fortitude, confident that your multitude of skills will pull you through. Perhaps you simply find joy in the act of traveling with your companions, or perhaps you are just out to line your pockets with all sorts of alien loot!"

Clueless Tourist - Let's face it. You saw a map of the Pact Worlds and immediately searched the best places to visit on each planet. Theme parks, monuments, parks - you want to visit them all and document your travels on a blog that you're still coming up with a creative name for. Experiences are the best currency to be paid in, and your goal is to become filthy rich on them. Now, you might not understand all of the different cultures or customs in the places that you're visiting, but in your eyes everybody else should be happy that you're bolstering the economy in all of your destinations. Excuse me - could you please take my photo?

Deductive Meteorologist - Perhaps in the same vein as the Environmental Engineer concept from the Scholar post, this character would be all about the weather and is drawn to the varied climates and conditions present in the Pact World planets. Have you ever seen the sunrise through noxious fuchsia clouds or felt thick, oily rain land on your head? All of these phenomenon can be explained through science. Maybe you'll publish a scholarly journal on your findings, or maybe your more of a storm-chaser bent on surviving the most wild and dangerous conditions. No matter how you spin it, you're fascinated by the weather, whether your companions like it or not.

Hospitable Flight Attendant - Time to make everybody else's travel experiences as enjoyable as possible. You're an expert at socializing and keeping everybody's minds off the baggage fees and severe lack of legroom. In your eyes, there's no part of a space commute that can't be made better by a tall glass of sherry or a delicious sack of Zeni's Zesty Znacks. While traveling, you are sure to keep all the amenities nearby to heighten the enjoyment of those around you. You might have gotten into the gig because you wanted to see the universe, and maybe that itch is just beginning to surface once more.

Curious Explorer - Hardly anything fancy about this one. You love exploring. The mystery, intrigue, and discovery thrill you to pieces. Every time you come across a corner, you just HAVE to see what's on the other side of it. This is known to get you into heaps of trouble and situations where you end up on the wrong end of a 'No Trespassing' sign. But, through your foolhardy actions, you've been able to experience things that very few other people have, and your stories are the things of legend. There are countless star sectors to visit and only so much time...what are you waiting for?!

Budding Photographer - Your goal? The perfect shot. You might be a movie producer scouting locations for your next sector-buster. Or maybe you're an artistic photographer determined to capture the essence of the human (and alien) experience. You never miss a moment and you are incredibly easy to track based on the trail of snapshots that you leave behind. Whether your honing your craft or a complete amateur when it comes to lighting, focus, and apertures, space grants you the freedom to create magnificent works of art. Every horizon has another potential shot, and you'll hitchhike your way around the galaxy if you have to if it means catching your elusive unicorn.

Xenoseeker Character Concepts

"The thought of meeting alien life-forms excites you. The more different their appearances and customs are from yours, the better! You either believe they have much to teach you or you want to prove you are better than them. Of course, the only way to accomplish your goal is to leave the Pact Worlds and travel to the Vast, where a virtually endless number of aliens await."

Captivated Anthropologist - This concept makes perfect sense. As an anthropologist, you live and love to study the differences between humanoid species. You can even take it a step further to be fascinated with specific aspects of each of the races. What are the secrets behind the Lashunta's psychic abilities? How tough are the scales of the Vesk? So many questions and not enough time to find all the answers. You might become acutely interested in your crewmates, asking them all sorts of intrusive questions in order to develop an understanding for their specific gifts and talents. Beings with surgical enhancements might be particularly interesting to you as humanoids continue their never-ending quest for power.

Inquisitive Marketing Guru - If you want to sell something, you HAVE to know your market. Double blind surveys, focus groups, experimental expos...you will stop at nothing to understand the people buying the products you're pitching. Whether you're a part of an elaborate Ponzi scheme or a well-known enterprise, you are hungry to understand the psychology of buying patterns and habitual spending. If you can unlock those secrets, you will be the most valuable asset to whichever company decides to employ you. And, by developing an understanding for the beings around you, you'll undoubtedly be an asset in any situation involving sweet-talking with honeyed words. Heck - maybe if you can find some delicious edible aliens, you will be the next great snack mogul in the Pact Worlds! Second only to Zeni himzelf.

Experimental Doctor - You embrace the uniqueness of yourself and encourage others to do the same. Stand out from the crowd, you say. Set yourself apart! Implant yourself with one of the many augmentations that you can provide! Your interest in the countless creeping aliens and obscure creatures skittering around the Vast stimulate your imagination and provide you with the necessary...tools to allow you to develop exciting new attachments for your adoring fans. Or maybe you're more secretive and don't think your work should see the light of day. Will you be a mad scientist or a renowned surgeon? The choice is yours!

Calming Zoologist - People will pay loads of money to see an exhibit they've never experienced before. There are countless numbers of mindless creatures out in the far reaches of space that would be welcomed additions to a zoological attraction. Your history in taming wild beasts and soothing the animalistic nature in the creatures you've encountered makes you the perfect person for the job. There is a fantastic space zoo that'll pay top dollar for new specimens, and you're itching to get paid. This isn't to say that you are inconsiderate of the creatures' feelings, however. The zoo that you're working for is more akin to a resort, and they take great care of the residents that live there.

Talkative Space Taxi Driver - While taking fares, you've come across just about every type of intelligent being known in the sector. Long nights that turned into early mornings were a staple of yours, and you've delivered passengers to slums, clubs, and luxury estates, learning about them all the while. You love a good conversation; it helps pass the time and gives you an amazing repertoire of stories to share with your crewmates. Everybody comes from a different background, and you have learned to appreciate the intricacies and uniqueness that everybody brings to the figurative table. You might have a bit of a lead foot as well...but who doesn't?

Themeless Characters

If you don't fit the bill with any of the other themes, then you are probably Themeless. By choosing to forgo a theme designation, your statistical bonuses will suffer compared to a character who has a theme, so if you're more concerned with numbers and maximizing your character, then this might not be for you. Choosing this option, however, will allow you to portray your character as a vast canvas, awaiting your masterful strokes.

Hopefully I've portrayed the wide variety of concepts that the Starfinder themes can cover. With a dash of creativity, you can morph at least one of the themes to fit the base core of your character. Try to think about each of the themes in new ways; don't get caught up in the specific 'title' of the theme. Read the blurbs about each one and search for synonyms that line up with the character that you're envisioning in your mind.

---

At the end of the day, play a character that you WANT to play. You should be excited every time that you portray your character, and play the game in whatever way is going to be the most fun for you.

I hope you've enjoyed this series on the Themes of Starfinder! See you in the stars!

#Starfinder #Paizo #Themes #Character #Creation #Building #ttrpg #RPG #Gaming #Tabletop #Concepts #StarfinderRPG #Rulebook

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saltwukong · 6 years

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“RWBY was so much better back then” Pt. 1 - Obligatory Fight Scenes Complaint, And Maybe Why They Suck

By now anybody who knows me knows I’m not going to shut up about this, ever, so let’s get this over with.

Volume 4′s and especially Volume 5′s fight scenes suck. I mean, they just do. That’s as close as we come to objectively bad suckage and even people who still cling desperately to like this show admit that they’re bad. And it’s easy to take potshots at them, comparing them to shit like V3′s Pyrrha vs. Cinder or Yang vs. Mercury and whatnot, but still--no one ever says something even worse, and also true: the fights have actually regressed so far that Volume 1′s fights look infinitely better.

That’s bad.

And also alarmingly backwards. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Your later products aren’t supposed to look better than their predecessors simply because they came later; they’re supposed to look better because of better equipment and more experience using it. After five years of animating fight scenes, they should’ve gotten better and should not be doling out such crap that looks like an amateur got into Maya for ten minutes.

Conversely, your starting animations (and RWBY was definitely a lot of the team’s animators’ starting points on a serious work, it showed in the “Volume 1″ style we came to know that involved identical running animations, black shadows as background characters, and the many inconsistencies abundant throughout it like Ruby having two Crescent Roses) should look like the starting animations when compared to later ones. You hadn’t learned as much and you were just starting out. Right?

And I’m not backing down on that point either. Volume 4 and 5′s fights are worse than Volume 1′s. A demonstration:

youtube

I’m not even talking about Penny in this scene. I mean, watch how it opens: Roman shooting candle shots at a downed Blake.

Blake looks up, realizing she just heard another firework being shot despite her disorientation. She rolls wildly out of the way hoping to dodge any more shots before she gets her footing.

And Blake is no fool. She just got knocked on her ass and dazed despite appearing to have a cemented 100% upper hand and a helpless hostage. Roman has the advantage (range, power) and she knows it. She doesn’t press her attack, and flees for the time being. Speaking of her footing,

That’s her, losing her footing. That’s part of the genius of this fight scene, is that you can feel every blow. Blake stumbling as she flees is because of the power of the explosion that just struck next to her. It gives us a sense of how it feels trying to dodge bullshit like that and how dangerous they are. Another example of “little” things seen here is this:

That tiny shake up and down is jitter. Jitter is incredibly basic, and almost necessary in really good fight scenes that involve explosions or strong impacts, you just can’t use it in excess or it becomes distracting. Now that I’ve pointed it out to you, it probably seems pretty odd that you didn’t notice it before, right?

Speaking of which, how about the fact that Roman attacked Blake more than once to begin with? Blake was disoriented from the first attack and Roman meant to put her down. True, this paints Roman as a pragmatist, but it also paints him as...well, an actual combatant. Because, when your opponent is vulnerable, you take advantage of it. That’s not restricted to his character type, that’s just how fights work.

Now contrast that against Blake vs. Ilia in Volume 5,

First of all, no jitter. That’s not the camera shaking a bit, that’s the characters shaking, so don’t mistake this as having used good intel from previous animations--nonetheless that Blake getting her weapon shocked out of her hand is given none either. But moreover, what’s important is what happens immediately after this.

Ilia took advantage of her opponent’s weakness, and that’s good. Shock of shocks, I complimented something. But it’s still a step down. Why? Because Ilia just intentionally succeeded in removing Blake’s weapon and stunning her for an instant. Ilia also has a weapon in her hand and she is a foot away from Blake--why did she pause for a moment for Blake to recover and then perform a complicated acrobatic kick? Why doesn’t she just smack Blake with the damn whip the instant Blake loses her momentum?

You know...sort of like Roman did here?

Because, ya know, that’s what fight choreography actually looks like. Not all complicated rule-of-cool spin kicks. This might seem fast and simple in comparison to the flashy and, on the surface, cooler thing Ilia did, but what Ilia did was just one more way the pace of the fight was kept slow and restricted, rather than being heated and a matter of reflexes and skill. In fact, you might could say that Ilia lost the fight because of that.

The “fight” between Blake and Ilia, if you can call it that, ends with Blake pinning Ilia from above, like so:

Why the hell didn’t Ilia dodge that?

Blake gets a full two seconds of airtime before she actually hits!

You wanna know why Roman didn’t dodge it back when Sun did this?

Because Roman:

didn’t know Sun was present.

And because he didn’t know Sun was present, didn’t know to be on guard.

And because he didn’t know Sun was present, couldn’t have known he would attack or from where.

None of that applies to Ilia, who has been in a hostile engagement with Blake for a few minutes, know knows exactly where she is beforehand, and saw her attack. There is no reason whatsoever Ilia shouldn’t have let Blake fall on her ass and then kicked her when she made it to the ground, which is exactly what would’ve happened in Monty Oum’s RWBY.

Even the best fights of Volume 5, like this one, look like they came from amateurs, while the ones from Volume 1 look like a professional made them.

Well...a professional did make them, right? Monty was there and worked on them! It isn’t really fair to hold them to that standard, right?

I often say that the infuriating results of Volume 5′s fight scenes (and lack thereof) simply come from a matter of the ones responsible not trying and not putting in the effort (which makes them so easy to despise; it’d be one thing if they were just mediocre animators, but it ends up looking like they just don’t care). But here, we see a fight that clearly was worked on, and worked on by people that cared. There’s no denying that.

Yet it doesn’t stack up.

I also often see people say (and have sometimes said myself) that yeah, it’s not really Monty-standard material we expect from the living animators with us at the moment. But let me give you a hot take: maybe it is in fact perfectly fair to hold Rooster Teeh to that standard?

After all, they worked with Monty, right? It wasn’t just a one-man effort, right? It wasn’t just one man and maybe his close team bearing the entire weight of the process of animating, right? It isn’t like they’d just throw all the hard work to Monty while ripping his show out from under him, right?

The answer at the beginning of this post felt like “yes”. The more I think about it though, the more it feels like “no”. I already know they wrote “[MONTY ACTION]” when actually writing their fight scenes into the script. So I can unfortunately find it very plausible that all the hardest animating work, and the work that reflected most, was done by him and the few animators that left with Shane a few years ago.

Because if it wasn’t, things would’ve been picked up. Things would’ve been shared and learned and the animations from current day, while not seeming like a gleaming love letter to the Monty Oum talent, would at least reflect that he once breathed life into this project and in a way still does.

Maybe it’s because--and this is just a suspicious, but bleak feeling--no one bothered to hang around Monty and try to pick up what he was putting down back then that all of the fight scenes look so regressed. Maybe it’s because they never felt like they had to learn from Monty in order to create RWBY, which is why it appears that literally nothing was learned inbetween Volumes 1 and 5--because nothing was.

People praise Volumes 4 and 5 by saying the “production values” are through the roof. That’s true in the sense that Maya is more advanced and nicer to look at than Poser. It’s completely untrue in that the skill and effort used to deliver the product (and indeed, the money too) are the furthest thing from improved.

End rant.

#rwde #crew criticism #Major Salt Warning

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sixmorningsafter · 7 years

Text

76 Theses

Oh hey there, Gabi. Long time no see. Hope your summer is going well as if I don’t already know because I follow you on Instagram, and I hope your med school prep isn’t destroying you I’m going to grad school in the fall, so girl I can only imagine. EDIT: GIRL HOW DID YOU POST A CHAPTER TWO DAYS BEFORE YOU MOVED AND STARTED OVER IN ANOTHER PLACE FOR FREAKIN’ MED SCHOOL

LMAOOOO FWIW I didn’t start over, I literally moved like 30 minutes away (and my family did a solid 75% of the work because what are big over-involved Puerto Rican families for). Summer was GLORIOUS. And 6 months ago, loooooool, I’M THE WORST. But you’re the best. This review is the best. Hope you’re crushing grad school (I know you are instinctively but I also know you are because I’ve talked to you about it and despite your humble nonsense I can tell you’re killin’ it). ANYWAY, diving on in to this literary masterpiece of a review:

Anyways, let me start by saying, literally every time you post a new chapter, I think “I’m ready, let’s go”. But literally, every time I read a new chapter, I am not ready, and you slay me every single freakin’ time. Dude, I have no clue how you do it, but every time, I die. Any more deaths, and I’d be a freakin’ Winchester.

A/N: looooool that’s incredible because every time I post a new chapter I think ‘this is it, this is where everyone realizes I don’t actually know how to write, it’s been fun’. But in all seriousness, girl, the fact that you make a point to send reviews after every chapter and go into detail like this is just–like honestly it’s reason enough to crank out 30K words of my bullshit. Not even kidding. If literally no one but you read this story I’d still write it because getting your hilarious whip-smart reviews are life. It’s so appreciated. It’s so appreciated.

Off the bat, while you may believe this is a “filler” chapter, it is a damn good filler I wish I could write filler chapters as nicely and uniquely wtf. If you meant filler as in full of wonderful delightfulness, then yas girl this is the filler-est of filler chapters. Because if you meant this is some fluff piece that has nothing of substance, if you thought for once second that we aren’t thriving off the Bamon drama of the Steroline giggles, we’d all have to chase you out of town good thing you’re already moving.

This chapter is amazing, and on a personal spiritual level, I still can not get over your similes. I know that sounds silly and amateur, but while you’re hella awesome at metaphors, your similes, dude, are unique af, and every single time I write something that barely resembles something you’ve written, I’m staring at my screen like what the actual fuck is the nonsense? Sooooo, rest assured, this chapter is awesome (to be explained in great detail), and you’re awesome too (also to be explained in greater detail).

LMAOOOOO CASSIE I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT A FUCKING SIMILE WAS HELP ME WHY AM I HERE. But DUDE, I actually have some words to say about this, the first ones being - GAH. Thanks so, so much love. I’m beaming. The second ones being - I ALWAYS think they’re weird when I write them. Seriously. Like that feeling you said you get when you try getting creative with a description is the exact same one I get -ROLL WITH IT. I had to learn that by just sucking it up and posting shit with unusual descriptions and then seeing what kind of feedback I got for it (which tbh makes it sound like I’ve been doing it for a while lololol but I actually just recently started challenging myself to get more creative with my descriptions for things). It actually came from constantly reading writing with cool imagery (Six of Crows was a great one!) and realizing that they never fell back on tired/common metaphors. They always used something unique (Kaz’s voice being like dry leaves scattering across pavement or w/e? Lmao you know how I felt about the constant descriptions of Kaz’s voice but I loved that one). I’m clearly nowhere near that level but I’ve definitely taken to stopping a few times while writing and going, ‘Wait. This is a chance to come up with something cool. Slow down. Do better.’ Cause tbh I have no instinct for it. I don’t think in creative metaphors or similes or whatever. But if I labor over it for a minute or two I can maybe come up with something, so yeah, THE POINT OF ALL THIS BEING - it probably sounds a lot better to a reader than it will to you. They feel and read unnaturally to me because they don’t come naturally to me, lol, but the people reading probs don’t know that so trust yourself! Do it! Knowing you and your talent they’re probably incredible.

Okay, so, in an attempt not to be mundane, let’s go through this fav line by fav line please forgive me if I just rewrite the whole chapter because ff.net doesn’t let you copy/paste

“She remembered feeling alarmed, a little helpless, like a plastic bag caught in the middle of a hurricane” (us FL girls can spot one another from miles away) (but also???? great simile). Poor Damon, but also poor Bonnie. This girl is just tryna help—it’s the core of her being, tbh—and this boy is too proud. Not like proud-proud, but that oh-shit-I’m-exposed proud. You know. A/N: AMERICAN BEAUTY REFERENCE WHADDUP. Lol I was channeling that plastic bag shot at the end of the movie. Granted there’s no hurricane in that but you know, us Florida girls put hurricanes into everything. And yeah, that’s a great read on Damon. His pride/confidence is something he uses as a shield more than anything, which isn’t to say it’s fake exactly, but more so something he relies on to stay detached and not really have to deal with things. It’s easy for him to be like ‘world sucks, I don’t care’. Anytime anyone sees below that confidence/armor, though, it’s really destabilizing for him because it makes the reality of his fears/anxieties harder to ignore, ya know?

Kai calling out “Friends?” is the most relatable thing. He’s a murdery little bean.

“And sure, maybe she’s being a giant, hypocritical pot to his doesn’t-deal-with-childhood-trauma kettle…” Yes girl, these lines are really awesome. Also, I like how Bonnie recognizes the cycle right away. She’s like ‘been there done that broseph’.

“Do you have any pop tarts?” this girl asks. Lol when you stress eat. Btw, we never find out if she got them??? I need answers???? I feel like Kai could 3D print pop tarts if he needed to.

“Toodles”: I had a friend (loose usage of the term) in hs who used to say that, for real, and it’s funny ‘cause she was this gossipy diva (Bekah?) and reading this just sent me back. Also, toodles is such a passive-aggressive thing to say, especially for Care. I don’t think toodles has ever been said without the backing vocal of ‘I hate you please die’.

“… the prospect of going through the whole song and dance made her bones ache, it was so tiring.” FINALLY, CAROLINE, YOU’RE FREE OF THE CURSE I can tell not really, but, at least, we’re getting through some of that warding doe. RIGHT!? Lol I was excited to put that bit in because it was sort of my attempted nod to everyone reading that it was okay (actually encouraged!) to feel frustrated with Caroline’s constant mood swings because she herself hated them. They weren’t meant to be read as a some ‘fascinating complicated girl’ thing, you know? I feel like a lot of shows (esp. with male writers) like to write these female characters that are difficult and volatile for the sake of being ‘interesting’ and I kind of wanted everyone to know that I wasn’t going for that. Caroline’s coming from a place of fear. She knows what she’s doing isn’t fair. She knows it’s angering and more trouble than it’s worth. And even more than that, she hates it just as much as everyone else does, and by the time we hit chapter 16, she’s finally too drained to listen to that frantic instinct to self-preserve. She just throws caution to the wind and lets it go. It’s still scary for her but what can you do. But you’re right, she’s getting there!

***Side Note*** when is Tyler gonna be a thing, I need some sma Tyler in my life rn Me toooooooo he’s my husband. He should be popping in for 18 or 19!

Stefan’s recap of what happened, “you planned the homecoming dance at the same time as the football game”/”False” is great. I really love your back-and-forth dialogue, like always, ‘cause it’s natural and it’s funny as hell. Idk, when I write it (or sometimes when I read other people’s), it doesn’t have that same fast pace hilarity. Maybe that’s just me. It’s definitely just you cause I’ve read your dialogue and it’s hilarious, but one thing I’ve found that super speeds up dialogue is removing the dialogue tags. Seriously. Makes a world of difference. Like I don’t think it’s even possible to write an extended snappy exchange with dialogue tags tbh, cause your mind will just naturally slow it down to read the description. Half the time I go back to edit, I’m just removing unnecessary dialogue tags or descriptions that felt needed at the time. It helps if you can pick dialogue that sort of speaks for itself in terms of how it’s said, too (and realizing that once you’ve set the tone of a conversation, you really don’t need to keep re-emphasizing that tone - it really only needs to be addressed if there’s a shift imo). Also, I’ve kind of found that leaving out subjects can both make dialogue sound way more natural and also speed it up. Like even in the example you used below: “You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell” it wouldn’t read the same if it was: “You’re ridiculous.” “I’m effective.” “You’re terrifying.” “I’m productive.” “And you’re impressive as hell.” See how it slows it down? And throw in dialogue tags and it’s even slower. “You’re ridiculous,” he said. “I’m effective,” I countered. “You’re terrifying,” he replied. “I’m productive,” I quipped. “And you’re impressive as hell,” he concluded. To me that just completely changes the speed/flow. So yeah, there’s my unsolicited advice on snappy dialogue, lolololol.

Caroline’s interjection: “Systematic overview” lol

“You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell”—ooooo, Stefan! Your heart-eyes are showing!

***Side Note*** so, uh, are we ever gonna find out what Stefan allegedly did? Muahaha yes. Kind of. Iz cute.

His deadpan face eased into a smile—one of those twinkling, warm ones that reminded her of honey spilling off a spoon—and predictably, annoyingly, her stomach did a flutter—gold. I feel like you can really get away with lines like this when it comes to Steroline because a) Caroline is a writer and b) Stefan is a Disney prince I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU USED THAT BTW I’M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF BUT DUUUUDE LISTEN I have so much fun writing in Caroline’s PoV because I can write things in a way that I can’t with other characters. I think you’ll see a lot of that in 17 when Caroline dives into her Matt history. And Stefan’s fun because he’s such a fucking sap so I can get as dumb as I want. He has a scene in 17 where I’m like ‘jesus christ dude get a grip’. Damon’s my annoying son because he’s closed off as hell so I always have to keep his thoughts muted and on-the-brink-of-something. Bonnie probably comes the most easily. Anyway, there’s my response to a question that was never even asked.

“It was the elephant in the room, big and obvious and floating over their heads like a light-up blimp. None of this frothy, chit-chat matters, it read in a glitzy, scrolling marquee, waving its animatronic trunk, y’all are fake.” … Does it ever get exhausting? Knowing that you’re literally the best at this metaphorical imagery thingies that need an actual name so I can use it and throw it in your face like, look at this gabi, think about what you’ve done? I almost cut that out because I thought it would feel random! See? That was one of those ‘pause’ moments where I almost left it as ‘the elephant in the room’ and then was like ‘you can do better than that’, and then after I extended it I was like ‘that sounds weird as hell but whatever roll with it’. So roll with yours, girl!

“An awkward beat passed as they regarded each other in the bright, exposing overhead light”/ “the lighting too clinical for such a personal conversation”. So, recently, coupling physical and metaphorical description has really been my jam, and I am so totally digging this. I have this weird thing where I feel like the lighting has to be soft for intimate conversations and if it’s not I’m like not in the right headspace for it, looool. So I’m glad you’re weird about that with me!

“[Katherine] was tough. Cynical. Her arms would lock tightly around him, jaw set, damning the world and the fucked up people in it.” Nice glimpse at the infamous Katherine Pierce. Can’t wait for a possible cameo from her in the future. NYE! Hopefully. I might be overselling NYE.

“Melted, really, like a clock in a fucking Dali painting.” Ok so like, do you Google this shit or is your brain just going a million miles a minute, coming up with stellar ways of impressing us (me)? Like jfc Gabi, calm down. LOOOL okay that one was instinctive because I compare legit every melty thing to a Dali clock. My sister’s cat has no bones and liquifies into whatever space she inhabits and we call her a melted clock.

“Floaty, useless goddamn feathers” this is cute i’m fine

“The Tylers” mention: Tyler believes in love? Is Tyler a Stefan, and that’s why Defan gels? Does Tyler have a girlfriend or boyfriend or a something?!?!? How cute! I feel like the best way to describe Tyler is like… surprisingly well-adjusted. Like he definitely had some shitty things go down in his life (abusive dad), but he had a loving mom and an unexpected support system in Damon and Katherine and because of that, he’s grown up to be this easy-going, confident guy. He’s definitely got a wild streak because of Damon and Katherine, but even when he went out with them they always kept an eye on him, always kept him out of the real dangerous stuff. He grew up loved. So when it comes to romantic love, he’s a casual optimist about it. He’s not some heart-on-his-sleeve romantic, but he believes it’s out there. His issue is kind of that he gets along with everyone (one of those types), so no one’s really knocked him off his feet yet love-wise. “The Carolines”: oh shit, called out. I love that he can read her like a goddamn book even though they aren’t anything under the surface at all. Like that just shows how good he is at this. Yessss, love that interpretation. I kind of wanted to emphasize how much he has everyone pegged so that it would heighten the contrast to how much he keeps having to redefine Bonnie.

“She’d cracked his varnish”—nice—“so thoughtlessly, like it wasn’t something he relied on”—oh shit—“and for what?/ “For shits and giggles? To see if she could?” Like usually I can handle these lines I’m lying but how sad and fucked up is it that Damon thinks Bonnie was only kind to him for something. I totally understand his mindset (like get where he’s coming from), but jfc honey, Bonnie is the Hufflepuffiest (which kudos btw for using the house for both ships, nice nice, I’m honored on behalf of us honey-badgers) and she literally didn’t try to help for anything. He def. struggles with the idea of people being kind for no reason. AND YAS GIRL HONEY BADGERS UNITE! KINDNESS EVERYWHERE! YOU get some kindness. YOU get some kindness! ERRBODY IN DA CLUB GETTIN KINDNESS.

“He scoffed again, shaking his head—worry. Concern./ “Unwanted things.” CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS THE SHIT, MAN. All us writers out here (or just me idk) are screaming and, probably totally weeping.

“Her eyes looked a little buggy in her magnifying goggles, hair in a mess of curls, and instantly, unwantedly, he felt a bit of the cool distance warm right off him.” Oh silly boy. Like you can actually resist how adorable Bon-bon is. Also, love nerd!Bonnie, can she come back some more? I’m going to incorporate it into 17! I think. Lmao I will now.

“It means I don’t need you to fucking fix me.” Yikes, dude. I always worry that those mood-shift lines aren’t going to pack enough of a punch so I love when you single them out.

“One little emotion glitch”… It’s really interesting you put it this way. Stefonnie are all heartstrings and mush, and Daroline are very ones-and-zeros, very programmed-and-defined. And this ties into Kai’s “logic” speech, because while these no-strings-attached sillies think they can avoid what makes us all human, they’ve got another thing coming. These fools are just as sappy-feely as their romantic counterparts. TRUEFAX.COM I wanna change the story description to just that ^^

“Relax.” IF THAT SHIT ISN’T THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER I HAVE NO IDEA HOW BONNIE DIDN’T DECK HIM RIGHT THERE. Not to call him out, but my boyfriend does this whenever I get worked up, and I’ve warned him, next time he tells me to relax, he’s getting hit. I literally read Damon’s “relax” in my bf’s voice, and I got so irritated. (Great job). I THINK YOU MEAN YOUR FIANCÉ WHHHAAAATTTTTT

“Your blood type was ‘tequila’.”

“Does that bother you” / “Not as much as it bothers you” OOOO GIRL EXPOSE HIM YAS another line I hoped packed a punch.

“Cat, is he lying?” lol when do they actually name her Never.

“Casually vibrant and loose” reminds me of sunshine for some reason. Sunshiny Caroline is my fav.

“Bonnie’s Caroline. Spirited. Brassy… A hell-raiser with a sparkling stare and a laugh like a bell.” Stefan, babe, stop.

“Badgering the witness!” LOL I’m using this in b&b, you’ve been warned, bye DO IT.

“Memory Lane was closed.”/ “Detour to Platonic Avenue”: good, good, keep it up. I love how they end up talking about it anyways? And it’s lowkey a daroline convo, but without a doubt, Damon would flirt it up, and it’d probably end in more sex, but these two goofballs I swear: “Told you I was the class skank” and “it takes years of training” but also “No room left behind” “Nothing is good enough to make me forget about how much I hate heights” / “I am” OH SHIT IT’S GETTIN’ HOT IN HERE. But also????? Excellent example of what I was saying (re: daroline convo); Caroline lapsed into her natural, flirty confidence, not even realizing GIRL HOW AREN’T YOU REALIZING how something so saucy, that would naturally turn on Stefan, can’t be said so casually. HAHAHA honestly as I was writing that I was like ‘careful what you wish for steffy bear’ because like you said, that is natural Caroline. She’s confident, flirty, vibrant, etc, and if Stefan was already falling for the prickly, self-preserving version, how did he expect to survive this one, you know? I don’t approve of these characters’ dumb ass decisions I just write them.

“You’re Lawyer Dangerous-ing me, aren’t you?” and “Wow, I ruined you.” Love it. I feel like Kol pulled this shit on Caroline, and she lowkey trusts her brother, so she fell for things like this all the time. LOOOL Kol’s such a menace.

“You didn’t think you were Buttercup, did you?” / “That’s embarrassing”: I love sma Stefan so much. I liked tvd at one time, but that’s for another day lololol we’ve discussed this.

“Ugh, montage love” I’m sorry Gabi, are you in sma too? ya know every now and then I have to insert my frustration with how dumb everyone is.

“Was it real if the sun started to fade after a few years? Was it real if the gravity weakened and he had to struggle to stay in her atmosphere? Was it real if another planet got pulled in, too, one he could never see because it was always on the exact opposite side of her, moving in tandem with him, eclipsed by her glow?” Shit, girl. Like, go home already. Gah, thanks love. Another case of ‘pause. Think. You can do better.’ I’m telling you, you just have to roll with it!

“I don’t regret a second of that” oh Stefan, you lovesick fool

“I’m like a human Bermuda Triangle” love

“Just give him the Disney Prince look” and the process of him going through it, and him being like, “This is just my face” I’m dead.

“Danger Zone” lmfaoooooo, followed by “Whatever, Piss Pants”. Sounds like a classic Caroline x Kol moment Honestly, it was so nice to write them just having an easy convo, lololol. And TOTALLY a Care x Kol type exchange. Oh, Kol. I can’t wait to write him over the Christmas chapter(s).

“Bonnie knew the ball was in her court to be the bigger person” to “…they all made her feel caught between telling him that everything was going to be okay and asking him if he wanted a gold fucking star.”/ “Unfortunately, the latter seemed to be winning out.” Okay, so I have to admit this: this “petty, four-year-old” Bamon is a little shamefully like me and my boyfriend. We’re like the diluted version of bamon in this fic. I’m the nerd/caring one, my bf is the cynical/well-read one, and we’re both petty af, and our form of affection is kinda like bamon’s back-and-forth. I mean, we’re not as fucked up at all, but idk, I see parts of our relationship in bamon, which is why they are otp does that mean I think ryan and I otp? maybe but I don’t like being gross. Anyways… FIANCÉ RYAN. CASS IS GETTING MARRIED Y’ALL. I OTP YOU GUYS ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US SO IT’S FINE.

“Must be depressing” / “Don’t worry about it” / “Just means it doesn’t matter” / “Because isn’t that the human way?” Ooooo this shit boils my blood this is the kind of crap ryan pulls sometimes omg but moreover, this baiting thing is so aggravating. Say what you want to say and be done with it! WEDDING BELLS AND RIIIINNNIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LMAO literally any mention of you and Ryan’s going to bring that response out of me bye

“I mean, didn’t you tell me last night that your biggest fear is that something’s wrong with you and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out?” and Bonnie’s internal monologue “her head was caught in a hum as she tried to shake off the burn of hearing her biggest insecurity thrown in her face, casual, smug”. I got to admit, Gab, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I was literally hanging on every sentence like oh. My. GOD. DAMON WENT THERE.

Side Note: this whole scene had me all sorts of fucked up, and like damn girl, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I felt for Bonnie. Not in a personal way, but like having someone just throw your deepest fear in your face? Someone who you were just warming up to? Like shit.

GIRL thanks so much, that scene definitely took some tweaking. I always stress about those moments because it takes me so long to get a sense for exactly what kind of mood I built (cause I’m almost like… already in the mood when I start writing it so I don’t actually know if I built it or not? Like if someone who wasn’t me would feel it through the writing alone? Does that make sense? I always try to explain this and fail). But anyway, gah, so glad this pulled you in. Like it’s one thing to try and be funny and fail at it (my life) but for some reason it’s way more nerve-wracking to me to try and be dramatic/intense and fail at it.

Kai’s crème-bru-yay is like opening Pinterest and seeing the first promoted post lol.

Damon’s “would it kill you to stay for one dessert” and her “it might kill you”, which I translated to “I might kill you, you fucker” Exactly what it meant.

The Bon/Kid talk. Nice. I love how it parallels to the Care/Stef talk earlier (dunno if you did this on purpose?) Nope, but I’m going to pretend I’m put-together enough of an author to do things like that and say of course.

“I don’t even know what your vulnerabilities are, Damon!” Have you read Lee’s “Parachute” bamon fic. Damon asks, “Do I ever say anything I don’t mean?” and Bonnie says something like Uh yeah, you say whatever will bother people the most. That. That is so true, and I didn’t realize it until I read it in her fic. Noooo, I haven’t, but now I really need to!

He was a friggin’ serial killer and they’d played right into his game Jesus fucking Christ they were all going to di—I love how off the rails Bonnie’s thoughts are. Like she’s stilly lowkey pissy at Damon, but at the same time, she’s like we’re gonna die. LOL that’s why Bonnie’s the easiest for me to write, because I too am often balancing serious emotions with cracky off-the-rails thoughts.

“I’m sorry but what the everloving fuck, dude?” So, first, amazing line lmfao; second, amazing scene, my friend. Damon, somehow, talking Kai down? Like who would have thought? “Not a good look, man.” I’m dead.

Jk that line is getting it’s own number. Just reading it makes me think that Damon must’ve said something like this to Tyler. Must have. Like, maybe Tyler’s talking about how he got into a fight at school, or maybe about how he screwed things up with a girl—idk idc, big brother!Damon is a good look. Toootally! I was 100% channeling big bro!Damon there, and I definitely hoped people would connect it back to Tyler. Tyler’s just someone that Damon wants better for, you know? Like him and Katherine take him along on their wild rides but like I said earlier, Damon definitely doesn’t want him to live the same kind of life or make the same kind of mistakes/sacrifices he’s made. So I can totally see him steering him off that path if he senses him heading down it. And just in general, so happy you liked that scene. It was one of the scenes I was most pumped for ‘cause I live for feels, and I thought it showed really cute sides of both Damon and Kai.

Kai’s fun fact about Dante, and Damon’s plain, “Bummer” lol.

Kai’s “Did you mean what you said earlier…thinking I was cool…?” I seriously don’t know how you made a serial killer adorable but how dare you :D

“Boyish, almost, like he was some angsty teen she’d walked in on listening to Britney Spears”, oops you did it again I’m hilarious my friend, you played with my heart for fantastic similes. Like, this one just epitomizes what you wanted it to, this sheepish, caught-in-the-moment-of-a-good-deed kinda thing. Like, Gabi, stop Yeeeesssss that was exactly what I wanted to get across but I wasn’t sure I got it across so YAY. Goes to show you. You never think that of your own stuff. Idk why this review response is turning into a giant PSA on cutting yourself some slack with your own writing but CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK WITH YOUR OWN WRITING PEOPLE.

‘you are so much more than you think you are, you piece of shit’—see, that’s my kind of “terms of endearment”. LOL mine too.

Caroline vs. Cat, illustrated by “Are you trying to die?” is very much like me vs. a cat except I’m super allergic, so I’m doing the dying LOOOOOL love ya, Cas.

“Stefan!” She blustered out of her room with a scowl, padding down the hallway in Bonnie’s too-small Gryffindor slippers. First off, Caroline calling Stefan. Secondly, Caroline calling Stefan to be a meditator between her and the cat. Thirdly, why does Bonnie had Gryffindor slippers if she is clearly (eh) Hufflepuff (she could easily be Ravenclaw tbh). LMAO so I made them Hufflepuff at first and then I remembered Bonnie had a Gryffindor shirt and I thought it’d be funny for her to just randomly have paraphernalia from every house because she can’t decide who she is and goes through phases where she’s super convinced she’s one house and then it changes a few months later.

“Tide of amusement”/ “Wash of endearment”: teach me your wayssss I read that as ‘teach me your waaaavvveeesss’ we’re both hilarious

“Saint Stefan”: I really like (and appreciate) that Caroline is the one calling him this. That it’s not some jealous brother, but some girl who blatantly misunderstood him and is coming to the conclusion that maybe this savior complex isn’t as bad/ingrained as she thought. Honestly even just reading ‘jealous brother’ gave me such TVD PTSD. Gross. I’m with ya, girl.

Stefan’s advice, “Dazzle him with that Rebekah charm” literally is the most Dad thing I’ve ever seen lmao

“Demon.” / “Demons everywhere.” Lolololololol

“Do your thing. Give me the sisterhood spiel or whatever Hallmark collection it was you were planning on plagiarizing.” Well shit. I’d probably pay to hear Damon and Rebekah’s verbal sparring. LMAO Damon vs. Rebekah would be amazing. I feel like they’d be fast friends, which makes me laugh because Kol would totally idolize Damon and yet him and Rebekah would loathe each other.

“But more importantly… Tiffany will be social media stalking you every inch of the way, seething with jealousy, so take a lot of pictures.” I love how she gives the realest advice, and then brings it to Rebekah’s level lol. I feel like big sister!Caroline is something we were deprived of and didn’t know it. Hahaha you know Rebekah would totally ignore that shit if it didn’t circle back to making her nemesis miserable. But sister!Caroline is definitely something I want to do more of, so I’m so happy you liked that side. Christmas time will give her and Kol some quality time (and Mama Liz!)

“I’m going to need some tea,” she says lmao.

Oh this is the thing I was talking about when I referred to Lee’s fic: “he’d know before he’d even opened his mouth that he was going to hate what came out” and “why the hell had he even gone there? He could’ve just told her he needed space”. Very similar. You guys had the same revelation. That’s rad - I definitely have to go read her fic. Lee’s writing is always brilliant.

“Unfortunately, the hole he’d just managed to dig himself into had an echo, and the only sound in it was the disbelieving crack in Bonnie’s voice when she’d confronted him about bring up her parents.” Right in the heart.

“But maybe she thought he was a megadouche” he cares what she thinks! “Maybe she was waiting for him to prove that he wasn’t.”

“You missed a spot” / “A harsh spray of water cut him off from the pull-out faucet she’d shot straight at him”—if this petty shit isn’t me & ryan CAS AND RYAN ARE GETTING MARRIEDDDDDDDDDD

“And mean.” I love that tack on, it’s so childish, but epitomizes how she can’t even stay mad at him. “Very, very mean.” Their childish bits are my favorite parts to write. It’s in full-swing in 17.

“I just had a really shitty week last week.” Oooo glimpse into the past. Like Bonnie’s with the Enzo/Klaus mention. More of that ahead!

“And don’t stop calling me kid.” / “It’s cute and I like it.” Can they just kiss and be together already omg You would think but everyone in this story is stupid.

“And he was struck by the most bizarre impulse to kiss her” see, even Damon knows!!!!

The “pep rally” / “I was actually a cheerleader for a bit in college” convo. Classic Bamon

“Try not to do anything secretly heroic while I’m gone.”

“Maybe he was allergic to pep” / “maybe he was high on it” Damon and Bonnie sitting in a tree… D-E-N-Y-I-N-G

THE ALMOST STEROLINE NAME DROP I WAS ACTUALLY GRINNING LIKE A MORON WHEN I READ THIS MUAHAHA it was so stupid and I cackled writing it.

“I think I need to talk about Matt”/ “And I think you should probably tell me about Elena”. What? Caroline Forbes is talking about exes? Is doing something healthy that’ll further her relationship with Stefan? THERE IS SO MUCH PRIDE IN MY HEART – Also, I think this was a great way to end the chapter ‘cause it’s super cliffhanger and also super like a tvd episode, you know? Great, excellent, fantastic job! RIGHT? LOOK AT HER GO! She’s ready to confront some things! And because I took six months to reply to this and have the benefit of actually having the scene written now, I can tell you that she’s really going there. Saying things she’s never said out loud. It’s a hard scene for her. But she’s determined. So it makes me so happy that you’re proud of her (I’m proud of her!), and hopefully the next chapter will make it a little clearer why she is the way she is (and why it took her this long to get there). Also, YAY for show-like endings! You know that’s what I’m going for ;) TBH that’s a large reason why the chapters have gotten so long - I want like a whole episode in a chapter with a beginning, middle, and end, and I want them to set up a story for the next one, and for four central characters that usually ends up taking me about 8-10 scenes, loool. So I’m glad you like it that way, too ;)

Okay, so this is longer than I hoped, but I’m sure you won’t mind. Take your mind off med school, off the whole moving thing. Anyways, thanks a bazillion for being this awesome author that interacts with her audience, who puts at least 1000% percent into this fic when, really, you don’t gotta, and ya know… thanks for fulfilling the need everyone has seen tvd died (there were only 6 seasons right?)

Definitely only six seasons. And girl, psh, thank you for making all of the things you listed above worth it. Seriously. You guys make writing this story a legitimate joy - I literally have you in mind when I write. I anticipate who’s going to like what. Whose going to have a problem with what. And it makes me a better writer. Seriously. Anyway, you’re as lovely and witty and talented and kind and weird and wonderful as ever and I expect detailed updates on you and Ryan’s royal wedding every week and NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR WRITING A LONG REVIEW WHO ARE YOU KIDDING YOU’RE MY SUN AND I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT I’LL SAY IT AGAIN IT TAKES ME FOREVER TO RESPOND BECAUSE I LEGIT CAN’T THINK OF A REPLY THAT’S WORTHY SOOOOO THANKS FOR MAKING MY LIFE K BYEEEEE

#reply #review #six mornings after #16 #cassie's review #that's going to be a tag #because it deserves its own tag #anyway here you all go you're welcome for bringing cas into your life #meta #submission

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hamiltongolfcourses · 4 years

Text

Has Golf Changed?

I played with him at Colonial the first week back out, but I sort of said, ‘OK, wait until he gets to a proper golf course, he’ll have to rein it back in.’ This is as proper as they come, and look what’s happened.”

—Rory McIlroy, on Bryson DeChambeau

“So many times I relied on science, and it worked every single time.”

—DeChambeau, following his U.S. Open victory

For a moment, let’s forget the specifics. Let’s forget the weight and distance gain, the muscle activation fitness regimen, the protein shakes, the single iron length, the putting lasers, and a thousand other things that fall under the umbrella of “science.” Forget it all and think broadly. We need some distance to understand Bryson DeChambeau’s win at the U.S. Open—the most consequential result for golf since Tiger Woods won the Masters in 1997—and to internalize the only conclusion that really matters: On an intellectual level, nobody else is trying hard enough.

If that sounds like an insult to a group of professionals who have dedicated their lives to becoming elite practitioners of the sport, so be it. DeChambeau is putting them to shame simply because he has the courage not just to seek out innovative ideas, but to pursue them with monomaniacal energy. His commitment is so rigorous, so fanatical, that everyone else comes off looking like a dilettante.

This makes people uncomfortable, fans and players alike, but the ultimate legacy of his astonishing win at Winged Foot—a course that was supposed to be the antithesis to and kryptonite for the DeChambeau Style—is that we can no longer dismiss him as a pretentious pseudoscientist. That comfort is gone, and now we reckon with a reality that forces from the mouths of the doubters the three most painful words imaginable.

He was right.

• • •

Let’s talk about Tiger in ’97. With that win at Augusta, which so quickly validated and then exceeded every bit of hype, the game was fundamentally changed. The kids who watched him then, and who are dominating the PGA Tour today, understood golf entirely through the context of Tiger. His power, his fitness, his passion, his competitive edge. These were the templates they followed. Some, like Patrick Reed, even began to wear red on Sunday and to speak with the same clipped cadence. Even in less extreme cases, Tiger’s physical and psychological influence was felt. You see it everywhere today; the game exists in his image.

What will the DeChambeau Effect look like? In 15 years, will we watch a new generation of hulked-up bombers chain-guzzle protein shakes, pecs bursting out of their golf shirts, each iron as long as the next, as they analyze complex topographical charts and an assistant clocks the speed of their putts?

The answer is, probably yes. DeChambeau is so full of good ideas that some of them are going to trickle down, particularly if he keeps winning. Whatever Chris Como, his coach, is doing, other coaches will do. Muscle activation technique, which has been a staple in the NFL for years, will become widespread in golf. Barring any major rules change, power will reign even more completely than it did before, and player physiques will reflect it. All of DeChambeau’s good ideas will be copied.

That’s because DeChambeau is golf’s answer to Billy Beane. He takes a Moneyball approach to every facet of the game; he’s open to literally any idea that might make the sport easier and help him shoot a low score, and he’ll pursue the slight edges with monastic fervor. Playing within a game that hews closely to tradition, socially and competitively, DeChambeau has the self-confidence to ignore conventional wisdom. The difference is that Beane sought out market inefficiencies because his Oakland A’s operated from a major payroll deficit. DeChambeau, on the other hand, was already supremely talented. When an NCAA and U.S. Amateur champ opens his mind to the cosmos in an effort to squeeze every possible advantage, Winged Foot is the result.

Writ large, that’s both the lesson and consequence of the past weekend, and the single element that young aspiring golfers should take to heart. To compete in the Bryson Era, it’s not enough to have talent and to work hard. You better think hard, too. You better be so committed that you treat golf like an experiment to be solved, and you better stumble upon your own innovations. DeChambeau’s long-lasting effect on this game won’t be physical. It will be mental.

• • •

Do you find DeChambeau invigorating, or infuriating? The answer probably says less about DeChambeau, and more about you, how you feel about change, about tradition, about innovation, and about the limitations of what golf should be.

Of all the players who commented on DeChambeau when it became clear that he would win the U.S. Open, Rory McIlroy’s remarks were the most interesting.

“I don’t really know what to say because that’s just the complete opposite of what you think a U.S. Open champion does,” McIlroy said. “Whether that’s good or bad for the game, I don’t know, but it’s just—it’s not the way I saw this golf course being played or this tournament being played. It’s kind of hard to really wrap my head around it … I think it’s brilliant, but I think he’s taken advantage of where the game is at the minute.”

Nobody explicitly asked him for an appraisal on whether it was “good or bad,” but in Rory’s defense, that part of the question is implied. Still, if you’re like me, you read a bit of negative judgment in the answer, and a bit of frustration. DeChambeau seems to have found a cheat code, and the idea that it’s working might seem unjust, especially to a player like McIlroy who has experienced a slew of difficulties at the majors in the last half-decade.

Yet to call it a shortcut is to undersell DeChambeau’s outrageous work ethic, the months of body transformation during the pandemic, the Saturday night range session under the lights at Winged Foot. Still, the ideas themselves aren’t so wild. If there’s a comical angle here, it’s that despite the caricature of DeChambeau as some kind of occult physicist, the fundamental beliefs behind his “innovations” are fairly simple. In July, I learned all about his weight gain and muscle training regimen, and while the specifics get pretty complicated, the reasoning behind it can be expressed with a very simple equation: More weight and more strength = more distance = more wins.

It’s not even a new concept. Tiger’s fitness regimen changed the game in similar ways, but DeChambeau wanted to do more than simply follow in Tiger’s footsteps. He wanted to continue the evolution and blow it out to its most extreme form, and his self-belief is so total that he refuses to be held back by cautionary tales.

Example: The reason most people thought he’d fail at Winged Foot is because the thick rough punishes errant tee shots, and DeChambeau’s length comes at the expense of accuracy. If you can’t hit fairways, you can’t win—not there. It sounds logical, but look closer and it’s easy to see how conventional wisdom fails. What actually happened, and what DeChambeau noticed before the week began along with his coach Chris Como and Mark Broadie, is that the fairways were so narrow that they punished everyone, long hitter or short. Nobody hitting driver could reasonably be expected to hold a high percentage. So, in that case, why not be long?

“Everyone talked about hitting fairways out here,” Xander Schauffele said on Sunday, when asked about DeChambeau. “It’s not about hitting fairways. It’s about hitting on the correct side of the hole … you’d rather be the guy in the rough with a lob wedge than with an 8-iron or 7-iron.”

Precisely. Of course, wide fairways pose the same conundrum. Punish everyone, and length wins. Punish no one, and length wins. You see the common denominator: Length wins.

Now, it’s not quite that simple. DeChambeau had a comprehensive game plan, played beautifully from the rough and was spectacular with the putter, particularly on Sunday. But it starts with rejecting the original idea, that aggression won’t work. It starts by rejecting the warnings.

• • •

The nice thing about athletic innovation is that the results are measurable. DeChambeau’s physical transformation attracts the bulk of public attention, and puts the focus on his drives (which are spectacular). Did it work? Well, in the 2020 season, he finished first in strokes gained/off the tee. That’s compared to 24th, 12th, and 35th in prior years. It worked.

His putting game deserves its own feature-length article, but you can get a small taste from this quote: “If I hit a 40-footer and it says 10.1 miles per hour on the device, I know that I’ve executed it correctly. And if I see the ball go two feet past that 40-foot mark, I know it’s perfect.” So it involves radar and arm locks and lasers and men holding towels when necessary. Did it work? In 2020, he finished 10th in sg/putting, compared to 28th, 32nd and a woeful 145th in prior years. It worked.

Today, his approach game is relatively poor (119th by the strokes gained metric last season), but you can bet he’ll find a way to improve that, too, and if his performance from the thick grass at Winged Foot is any indication, he’s on his way. “I don’t think they can set it up for him, to be honest,” Louis Oosthuizen said on Sunday, “he’s so strong out of the rough.” In fact, DeChambeau was first in the entire field at Winged Foot in strokes gained/approach, accumulating a massive 7.551 strokes in four rounds. It’s working.

You can view this success as a referendum on the specific techniques DeChambeau is using to improve his game. Yes, there will be copycats. He’ll be very influential in that regard, perhaps more than anyone since Tiger. But as DeChambeau himself readily concedes, “not everybody has to do it my way.” The fact that he’s thrived with muscle activation technique and lasers and protein shakes doesn’t mean that everyone will. It doesn’t even mean that he will, at least not forever.

The true revolution that DeChambeau has initiated is not a physical or technical one, brilliant as those elements might look today. No, he’s leading an intellectual transformation, and it’s defined by both the ability to consider golf in new and counterintuitive ways and the courage to pursue those ideas with a zealot’s obsession. In that sense, he has already lapped his contemporaries and put them on the defensive, and he’s done it on the basis of principles (“length wins!”) that seem shockingly obvious.

• • •

There’s a story, almost certainly apocryphal, about Christopher Columbus attending a dinner party at a nobleman’s castle after his voyages. At one point, a guest spoke up to say that discovering a new trade route to the Indies wasn’t such a great accomplishment; really, anyone could do it. Rather than respond, Columbus asked for an egg. When it arrived, he challenged everyone at the table to stand the egg straight on its end. They all tried, they all failed; the egg toppled every time. When they were done, Columbus took the egg, cracked the end, and stood it straight up with no problem. “And now that I’ve shown you how it’s done,” he said, “any fool could manage.”

Bryson DeChambeau has cracked the egg. What happens next is up to everyone else.

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thestuckylibrary-bigbang · 7 years

Photo

Part One

This post contains alternate universe sbb2017 works of all sorts of genres. This post contains the following, take a look at what participants have been working hard on since June!

A/B/O

Band/Musician AU

Based on other media AU

Canon Divergence (sorted from were they diverge from canon)

Pre TFA

TFA

TWS

College/University AU and also HIgh School AU

Fairy Tale/Mythology

Also check out Canon ‘Verse | AU Part Two | AU Part Three | Masterpost

A/B/O

The Alpha’s Ball by Samwise_baggins & Steve-Bucky-Stucky

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con

Word Count: 44, 706

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, Thomas ‘TJ’ Hammond/Johnny Storm, Sam Wilson/ Riley, Nick Fury/ Phil Coulson

Tags: Omega Verse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Reference Child Abuse, m-preg, Mating Cycle/ In-Heat, Violent Sex, Graphic Sex

Summary: The annual Alpha’s Ball, where people go to find a mate, is being hosted by Tony Stark at his mansion in New York. It is a masquerade ball, and the Avengers are among the guests. But even when searching for love, things don’t always go as planned for the Avengers. For Steve, it means a chance to forget his one time love, killed during the war. For Bucky, it means a night out, trying to pick up the pieces after having fled his former lover. What it means for the pair of them is a revelation of secrets and twisted plots - - and a chance at a possible new beginning … together.

Artist: Samwise_baggins

Steve

Bucky

Band/Musician AU

I’m With The Band? by @mystrana (Ao3)

Three beautiful pieces of art by: @artgroves (Ao3) (rating: G)

“Oh Shucks Steve”

“Pre-caffeine Bucky”

“Rock Star Bucky”

(rating: NC-17)

words: 23.9k

Relationships: Steve/Bucky

Tags: College AU, Band AU, Fluff, Wee bit of angst, explicit content, no archive warnings apply

Steve Rogers is getting by just fine spending every Friday night by himself, thank you very much, until his classmate Peggy invites him to come see her favorite local band. One look at the lead singer Bucky, and it’s lust at first sight. The next thing he knows, Steve is outside making out with the guy of his dreams, but it’s never that simple - Bucky’s bandmate Natasha finds them outside and all but drags Bucky back inside by his ear.

Steve’s not sure where to go from here, but he’s pretty sure, somehow or another, he’s gonna have to see Bucky again.

PEOPLE LIVE HERE BY @TOLKHIEN (AO3)

BANNER, POSTER, AND ARTWORK BY @STARMAKI (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 46,112 Relationship: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Background Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Characters: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Maria Hill, Sam Wilson, Peggy Carter, Alexander Pierce Warnings: Alcohol Use, Drug Use, Drug Overdose, Suicidal Thoughts. Tags: Modern AU, No Superpowers, Punk AU, Band AU, Veteran Bucky, Musician Bucky, Pre-Serum Steve, Artist Steve, Tattoos and Piercings, PTSD, Drug Addiction, Temporary Breakup, Happy Ending, Based on a Real Band, Rise Against Summary MAY YOU BE IN HEAVEN BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD. MAY THESE WINDS BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK. ‘CAUSE WHEN WE’RE ALL JUST GHOSTS, AND THE MADNESS OVERTAKES US, WE WILL LOOK AT THE ASHES AND SAY, “PEOPLE LIVED HERE.”

When Steve meets the singer of Crimson Riot, on whom he may or may not be harbouring a years long crush, and gets offered a job, Steve thinks it’s a dream come true. Getting paid to go on tour with his favourite band and create art? It’ll just take some time to get used to the rockstar lifestyle.But as he gets to know James “Bucky” Barnes, and sees what’s underneath the drugs and the cocky attitude, he gives himself a new job: Help Bucky before it’s too late.

TUMBLR POST

Based on other media AU

Ain’t Misbehaving by Revenant-Scribe (Ao3) (Tumblr)

Header art and paper craft art by @milollita

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers (past)

Summary:

Steve Rogers is an excellent judge of character. No, really! But, as Peggy puts it: when it comes to love his head tends to override his heart. When his girlfriend leaves him for a model Steve wonders if he’ll ever find the right partner; maybe it’s time to stop looking.Naturally, this is when he (quite literally) runs into Jim Buchanan, a fashion exec who (also literally) makes Steve weak-in-the-knees. Sure, that might just be the concussion but they do seem to have some sort of chemistry. Jim’s sweet and funny, walks his neighbor’s rescue dog and can do over 300 chin-ups without pausing to catch his breath (Steve’s new apartment has a great view), so clearly there must be something horrible he’s trying to keep secret.(A Head Over Heels adaptation)

Read over at Ao3

As Soon As Possible by turn_turn_turn

Art by Jessie Lucid

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 30K

Relationships: Main course of Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes with a dash of Natasha Romanov/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Brock Rumlow, and Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson on the side

Tags: When Harry Met Sally AU, Modern AU, No Powers AU, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, more like Begrudging Acquaintances to Friends to Lovers, seriously you guys please stop poking at each other and fall in Love already, Rom-heavy-on-the-Com Fun, please laugh at my jokes

Summary:

Can two idiots stop bickering long enough to confess their true feelings for one another? Steve and Bucky will attempt to answer this question in just twelve short years! A journey filled with road trips, arguments, other relationships, emotionally convoluted hookups, borderline-salacious and pastrami-sandwich-adjacent amateur theater, and heaps of completely unnecessary, totally mutual pining! An updated re-imagining of a romcom classic, starring Steve Rogers, a bird-boned, hopeless romantic with a stubborn streak, and Bucky Barnes, a laid-back Lothario (dubious on both counts) with a heart of gold and more bad Star Wars puns than Mark Hamill himself! Also features supporting roles by Natasha ‘We All Wish We Were That Cool’ Romanoff, Samuel ‘Has His Shit Together, Unlike All of You Dweebs’ Wilson, Clint 'Are You Going to Finish That Slice’ Barton, and many more! Now showing at an archive near you.

Header by the amazing Jessie Lucid @lucidnancyboy

Art by the amazing Jessie Lucid (on ao3)

Brooklyn Bound by multifandomfics

Rating: M

Words:55,485

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Tags: Minor/Childhood Death (Mentioned), Sweet Home Alabama AU, Multiship, non-graphic sexual situations, Cursing/Swearing

Summary: Steve Rogers is ready to embark on a new chapter in his life, his perfect boyfriend has just proposed and all is going well. The only problem, he’s still married to his childhood sweetheart. Steve needs to return home to Brooklyn and finalize his divorce before his fiancée finds out he was ever married. However things become more complicated as Steve arrives, it turns out that there is more to his ex than meets the eye, and old feelings resurface. Steve needs to choose, stay in Brooklyn with the man he once loved, or return to California and start his new life. Sweet Home Alabama AU.

Art by 10feetalice

Creatures of a Brief Season by @goddessvicky & @octobergryphon

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 56k

Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Clint Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson/Wanda Maximoff, Darcy Lewis/Grant Ward, Jane Foster/Thor Odinson

Tags: public sex, outdoor sex, magic, anal sex, oral sex, fingering, rimming, blow jobs, UST, au covenant, different powers, au magic, bisexual steve, bisexual bucky, bottom steve, top steve, bottom bucky, top bucky, au modern with magic, college, friends to lovers, smut, we tried to make it fluff, all the swears, slow burn, Framily

Summary:

The Sons of Ipswich possess otherworldly powers, but they are not the only ones with this gift.

On the edge of his 21st birthday, Steve Rogers feels the Power growing within him. He’s hoping that with Bucky, Sam, and Clint, he’ll survive the transformation.

That’s not the only thing that’s changing. Bucky and Steve have always been best friends, but now, maybe, there’s something more?

Amazing Artwork by the phenomenally talented Alby

First I commit a Crime (Then You Get Blamed For It) by @tisfan

Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Characters: Loki (female), James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Thor, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Lucky, Nick Fury Additional Tags: Sinbad AU, Low-tech/high-magic, Sea Monsters, Sirens, Pining Idiots, Idiots in Love, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Pirates, Oral Sex, Cheating, sort of, everyone is forgiven Summary:

When Loki is bored, suddenly, nothing is easy.

Framed for stealing the Reality Stone from his best friend (and former lover!) Steve, Bucky finds himself accused of the crime and sentenced to death. When the Council doesn’t believe that Bucky is innocent, Steve swears to be executed in Bucky’s place, giving him time to seek out Loki and recover the stone from Loki’s realm of Jotunheim

Accompanied by a ship full of stalwart adventurers, and Steve’s fiance, Tony Stark – who doesn’t trust Bucky as far as he can throw him! – the ship, Hydra, faces sirens, snowbirds, and living islands to make it to Loki’s realm, recover the stone and save Steve’s life. The biggest problem? Bucky can’t forget his old lover, but at the same time, finds himself falling in love with Steve’s boyfriend.

for the ashes of his fathers (and the kingdoms of his gods) - ‘Oblivion’ stucky AU by LadyNimrodel

Steve and Natasha are an effective team. They work for Shield’s Control Station, built after the planet was destroyed in the war with the Scavs. They are left on a broken and barren planet to keep the drones running that protect the hydra rigs, which collect precious water for what’s left of humanity, now living in a colony on one of Saturn’s moons.

What Steve knows is this: the Scav attacks are getting worse, even though they lost the war nearly fifty years ago. In two weeks he and Natasha are leaving to join the rest of humanity. And that neither of them want to leave earth.

What he doesn’t know is why the Scavs are attacking again, why everything Control tells them feels wrong, and why he keeps dreaming of a man with grey-blue eyes and a familiar smile and who Steve doesn’t remember.

-Or- The Oblivion AU that no one asked for.

Art by Emeraldwolf | Art by koreanrage

Give Me Fuel, Give Me Fire by 221BJen

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 41k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: Fast & the Furious AU, Major Character Injury, Car Accidents, Car Sex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mechanic Bucky Barnes, Undercover Steve Rogers, AU - No Powers

Summary: Brooklyn detective Steve Rogers finds his loyalty tested when he goes undercover to investigate a group at the center of a series of high speed heists. He doesn’t know what to make of James Barnes and his family of choice, but he wants to know more. Drag races, muscle cars and intense attraction leave Steve wondering if he’s in way too deep. Spoiler alert: Definitely.

Art by faceisamess (on AO3)

Home Is Where the Heart Is by @anice-1 (AO3)

with art by MrBarnesIfYaNasty beta-read by @curry-spice-and-everything-nice

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 22k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter

Tags: Sweet Home Alabama AU, based on a movie, modern AU - no powers, referenced minor character death, referenced pet death, people get drunk, artist!Steve, background Clint/Natasha, brief mention of past Bruce/Natasha

Summary:

Steve Rogers has it all: He’s the hottest new artist in town, he’s dating the most eligible bachelorette of New York City, and he just got the proposal of his dreams. The problem? Steve already has a husband, and travelling home to finally divorce Bucky Barnes proves to be far more of a trip down memory lane than Steve expected.

How to Fix a Broken Heart by RockSaltAndRoll

Rating: General Audiences

Words:

Archive Warnings:

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on Grey's Anatomy, medical AU, Major Illness, Blood, Surgery, Fluff and Angst, heart failure, Doctor/Patient Romance, Doctor!Bucky, Patient!Steve, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Happy Ending

Summary

Stucky Big Bang 2017 Submission:Falling in love with a patient was top of the list of things Bucky Barnes would never do...until he met Steve Rogers - a good guy with a broken heart that can't be fixed. After Steve's transplant surgery falls through and his bad heart weakens, Bucky and his team try their hardest to keep him alive until they can find a donor. Over bedside picnics and games of scrabble, Bucky fights against time to save the man he's in love with before Steve loses his battle.

Identity Is Your Most Valuable Possession by assemblingbrokenmemories

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 72.5 k

Relationships: Steve/Bucky

Tags: Alternate Universe- The Incredibles, Modern with Powers AU, Fake Marriage, Family Fic, Amputee!Bucky, Cryokinetic!Bucky, Canon Typical Violence, Minor Character Death Mention, Alternating POV

Summary: Steve and Bucky meet as opposite sides of a battle when the brainwashed Winter Soldier was sent to kill Captain America and ended up captured and a friend instead. This battle and its resulting damage are the nail in the coffin for enhanced individuals, and the government rolls out the Enhanced Relocation Act which rehouses superheroes into civilian life. Seven years later, the glory of the “super hero days” are over and the ERA sees Steve and Bucky masquerading as a married couple with three adopted children- Pietro, Wanda, and Peter. As they struggle to adjust to their as regular citizens, a unique and potentially dangerous offer puts their family in danger. WIll they come together? Or will this see the end of their charade? - The Incredibles AU people (sort of) asked for!

Art by debwalsh (tumblr)

Art by debwalsh (ao3)

Indiana Barnes and the Curse of the Tesseract by follow_the_sun

Art by sulasaferoom

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Creator chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 56,576

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Action/Adventure, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Inspired by Indiana Jones, Inspired by The Rocketeer, Marvel Norse Lore, sbb2017, Stucky Big Bang 2017, Canon Disabled Character, Brief torture scene, The Real Treasure Was the Priceless Historical Sites We Blew Up Along The Way

Summary: It’s 1943, and art history professor Steve Rogers has been hired to help wealthy industrialist Tony Stark find his father, who went missing while searching for the fabled Tesseract. It sounds like an easy job until Steve finds out that his old flame, Bucky Barnes, is also part of the expedition.

Our Core is Madness by Terrenis | Art by noncorporealform

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Words: 61380

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson/DarcyLewis, Mentions of Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Thor/Jane Foster, Sif/Maria Hill/Sharon Carter

Tags: AU - Modern Setting; AU - Year 2000; Serial Killers; Mental Issues; Movie Science; Post-Serum Steve; Bucky has Issues and a metal arm; Howards A+++parenting; Dissociative identity disorder, more on Ao3

Summary: When Crossbones, New York’s and New Jersey’s newest Serial Killer, collapses, when finally captured, it’s up to SHIELD Agent Steve Rogers to find a way to locate the killer’s newest victim, before it’s too late.

Enter one James “Bucky” Barnes - a psychologist and engineer, who uses an experimental device to engulf into his patients’ minds. In a race against time, Steve and his partner Natasha turn to him for help and Bucky agrees, while secretly fighting against his growing attraction for the nice blond federal agent. The only question is: Is it safe to enter a mad man’s subconscious or will it end badly for them both?

Or a The Cell! AU that no one asked for. But I wrote it anyway.

Steal The Rhythm Out From My Heart by Nori [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

Rating: Mature Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 32K Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Tags: Alternate Universe - Destiny (video game), Canon-Typical Violence, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Angst, Humor, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Minor Character Death

Summary: Humanity’s dwindling numbers hang by a thread and the last of the Traveler’s strange, powerful Light grows dimmer by the day. With their fearsome, unknown enemy closing in, it falls on the Guardians to defend the last of Earth’s people. Steve, only recently reborn and still learning the limits of his inhuman abilities, is thrown headfirst into an unceasing battle for life itself. Falling in love with a mysterious, reticent Hunter isn’t really part of the plan, but Steve’s always been flexible. Now if he could just convince the object of his affections to admit he’s in love, too, these long days of war might even be worth the trouble.

“You’re a madman,” Bucky informs him fondly. Steve steps forward, using both hands to grab the edges of Bucky’s hood and pulling until the material lies neat and even.

“Probably,” he agrees amiably, and hops backwards off the cliff.

Art by Emeraldwolf | Art by koreanrage

Stevie by malone78.tumblr.com

Word count: 35k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Stony - Freeform, Depression, blink and you miss it mention of Buckynat, Recovery, Deception, Age Difference, Suicide Attempt, Arranged Marriage Summary:

Steve is the son of a live-in-nurse who returns home from two years in Paris a stunning young man, and immediately catches the attention of Tony, the playboy son of his mother’s rich employers. Tony woos and wins Steve, who has always been in love with him. However, their romance is threatened by Tony’s serious older brother, Bucky, who runs the family business and is relying on Tony to marry an heiress in order for a crucial merger to take place. Steve is initially elated because he has been in love with Tony since he can remember. What seems like a dream come true for Steve ends up taking a strange turn when Bucky starts spending time with Stevie. In a world of money and high society, who can Stevie trust with his heart?

Art by milkberi.tumblr.com to follow

Storm Chasers by raisedinthunder

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: None

Words: 29k

Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Twister AU, storm chaser au, estranged husbands, rekindled romance

Summary: When the worst series of storms on record are predicted to hit Oklahoma, Bucky Barnes drags his entire department out into the field to chase them down. When they’re joined by his estranged husband, Steve and his new fiancé it’s not just their new tornado warning system that’s put to the test. Risking their lives Bucky and Steve go up against mother nature together once more.

Art by drjezdzany

The Holtzmann-Rogers Plan of Action by krycekasks

Unrated

Archive Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Relationships: James Bucky Barnes / Steve Rogers, Erin Gilbert / Jillian Holtzmann

Tags: Holtzbert - Shrinkyclinks - Great British Bake Off - Ghostbusting AU, misunderstandings, Rogers and Holtz are scamps!, evil twins, Fluff, dream/flashback with gun violence and killing, description of an asthma attack / difficulty breathing, description of a cut / bleeding, allusion to disturbing human experimentation, but mostly: Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor

Summary: Why have one five foot one-ish obstinate blond with no sense of self-preservation issues and a propensity for getting into trouble when you can have two for twice the price? Only by working together do they stand a chance of getting their best friends to fall in love with them. Throw in experimental robotic arms, ghost hunting and internationally renowned televised baking competition and a cunning plan, what could possibly go wrong?

(aka the one where Steve is an art professor in love with his best friend, the former Special Forces sniper Bucky Barnes, who lost and arm in combat and tests experimental prostheses for Jillian Holtzmann, who is in love with her best friend Erin Gilbert, paranormal expert and Steve’s colleague. While Erin and Bucky vie for Star Baker in the Great British Bake Off, Holtzmann and Rogers devise a plan to win their hearts.)

Adorable, amazing and delicious art (I’m so lucky, it’s ridiculous) by Frau Argh - thank you for taking a chance with this story, your enthusiasm (and love for Aliens) has made it all worthwhile

Where No One Goes by made_of_sunshine

Rated: PG/Teen

Character tags:James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter, Helen Cho, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Nick Fury Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Fantasy, Non-consensual daemon touching, loosely based on httyd, pre-serum Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Amnesia, Loss of Identity, Dragons Summary:

Three years ago, Steve Rogers woke up on the shores of Skjoldr, barely breathing, his daemon at his side. He remembered nothing of his previous life. Featuring: A war in which he is not the hero, a dragon who may not be what it seems and two boys who are more than they realize.

Art by @cloudwolfbane

Art by @inkforwordsart

Canon Divergence (sorted from were they diverge from canon)

Pre TFA

Gweilo Gongfu by P.R. Zed

Rating: E

Warnings: No archive warnings apply

Words: 34K

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Tags: Alternate Universe, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Chinese American Bucky Barnes, 1930s, Period-Typical Racism, Martial Arts

Summary:

“I can look after myself.” Steve bristled. “And how about you? You go around taking on three fighters from the Hip Sing Tong on a regular basis?”

“Sure,” the guy said, and then he gave Steve a big grin. “I don’t like bullies either.”

“Jeez, we’re two of a kind, ain’t we?” Steve laughed and stuck out his hand. “Steve Rogers.”

The guy took his hand in a firm grip.

“Bucky Dyun.”

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, unless you want to call me Pok Chi like my ma does.”

“Bucky it is.”

Steve Rogers doesn’t know much about Chinese culture when he makes a wrong turn in Chinatown. But a chance meeting gives him not only a new friend, but an entry into a whole new world. The more he learns from Bucky, the closer they get, until Bucky is so much more than a friend. But when a Chinese gang goes after Bucky and his family, Steve knows he needs to stand up and make sure the man he loves doesn’t lose everything.

Art by potofsoup (link to come)

Art by cassandrasfisher (link to come)

Red Strings and Violent Things by urbanconstellations tumblr

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings apply

Words: 27k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: Post- Winter Soldier, PTSD, Allusions to sexual situations and Violence, Cursing

Summary: There is an old Chinese myth about a red string of Fate, that is intertwined around two souls by the gods. The cord may stretch, or tangle, but never break. Two boys fall in love in Brooklyn, slowly and full of promise. As they fall, their string unwinds to catch them. Seventy five years later, that string finds its way back home. After the Winter Soldier pulls Steve Rogers out of the Potomac, he isn’t quite sure where to begin putting the pieces back together. Steve Rogers is spending his time pulling on threads, while trying to follow his own. Their strings will pull them through memories and doubt, until they wind up on a pier, wound together again.

Seventy five years in fits and starts.

Art by @sorrowingsoldier

Art by @starmaki

TFA

A Retelling by AftertheFall (you_took_everything)

Rating: E

Words: 20k

Archive Warnings: Rape/Noncon

Tags: TFA, Howling Commandos, Peggy Carter, Pre-Seruem Steve, Bucky Barnes as Captain America, Religious Themes

Summary:

Bucky stood in a line with a bunch of other men at parade rest. All the men were probably as scared as Bucky, and, like Bucky, none of them willing to show it.

His papers had come in the mail. It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting them. His father had looked grim. His mother had not been able to stop crying. She had always been religious, but she started attending mass two times a day and three times on Sundays. She tried to make Bucky come too, but he didn’t really see much point to it. He’d never been very religious.

Colder Weather by FireflysLove

Rating: Mature

Words: 20k

Archive Warnings: Major Character Death

Tags: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, ghost au, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-War, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Period-Typical Homophobia

Summary

In another life, Bucky died in Azzano and Steve never became Captain America. Bucky's come back to haunt Steve. In another time two boys fall in love and learn how to live.

A Ghost AU written in two parts.

Demobilization by 743ish

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 41k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: Post-war, No Powers, Steve Rogers/OFC, 1940s Bucky Barnes, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, Jealousy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Homecoming, Emotional Sex

Summary: When the Statue of Liberty slides into view, the whole ship roars. It’s deafening. Bucky throws his fist in the air and yells along with everyone else. His heart is in his throat. The Statue of goddamn Liberty. Bucky wants to climb up her robe and kiss her sour green face.

The cheers rise up again as they go by her, and then die back down; most of the guys are just happy to sit and smile and watch the city float lazily into focus. They know they’ve got days more of barracks and bunks and cheap train seats before they’ll get to see their families in Pittsburgh, or Columbus, or Chicago. But Bucky’s home, he can see Brooklyn, and he laughs and shades his eyes from the sun and feels crazy with happiness, and this has to be the slowest fucking boat in the world, but at least he has a good view while he dies of impatience.

In 1945, Bucky comes home from the war.

Art by Sallysparrow017 tumblr || ao3

Beta by Dreadnought

Folie a Deux

Author: Cloud_Wolfbane

Artists: Xemsonx and Mithborien

Rated: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Amputation

Summary: When Bucky falls off the train in the Alps, Steve follows, and Russia gains two of the greatest assassins that ever lived.

Art Links:

Xemsonx’s awesome trailer can be seen here.

Mithborien’s amazing gifs can be seen here. Mithborien also did the lovely header and the time stamps seen throughout the story.

maybe tomorrow (i’ll find my way home) by obsessivereader

Rating: E

Words count: 26,361

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: shrinkyclinks, reincarnated Steve, Post-CATWS, AU - Canon divergent, alternating POV, mild gore (treating injuries), suicide ideation, past rape-noncon (brief mention), implied/referenced torture (brief mention)

Summary: A man exits the building. Approximately 5’6”, thin, tired-looking. A suitable target. He needs someone he can overpower quickly and quietly. He’s injured from the fight on the helicarriers, and weak from hunger, and blood-loss.

A streetlight illuminates the target’s face as he passes under it. That one brief glimpse of a narrow face and glowing blond hair sets his heart rate climbing. Something presses at the edges of his mind, like the wingbeats of night moths against a pane of glass. He ignores it, like he ignores the phantom voice that comes when he’s too long out of cryo. He walks towards the target, knife in hand.

What if… What if Captain America died on the Valkyrie. What if he was reborn. What if the Winter Soldier met him after the fall of the helicarriers.

Art by @this-simple-mind

Check out my other art for maybe tomorrow here

Now I Can Only Dream (Of Being All You Need) by IndigoNight tumblr

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con

Words: ~35k

Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/The Winter Soldier

Tags: multiple personalities, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced torture, panic attacks, dissociation, scars, non-consensual body modification, implied/referenced rape/non-con, non-consensual magic, not AoU compliant, not CA:CW compliant

Summary: The Winter Soldier exists for one reason: Protect Bucky Barnes. It is an ongoing mission, one that does not change when their HYDRA handlers are exchanged for the Avengers. Except the Winter Soldier has no defenses against magic, no contingencies planned for when Bucky is ripped out from his protective cocoon and exposed to the world in a body of his own. It’s a mission adjustment that neither of them were prepared for. At least now they have back up, if they’re willing to accept it.

Beautiful art by arania

@araniaart

Protector by @capgal with artwork by glide-thru

Rating: Gen Archive Warnings: No warnings apply Word Count: 30k Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Additonal Tags: Magical!Shield AU, Canon Compliant Summary: In which Steve finds Bucky, loses Bucky, finds Bucky, and loses Bucky again, and picks up and drops the shield a few times along the way.Or: the one where everything is the same, except the shield is a magical alien artifact like Mjolnir.

Winter Gorgon by @quarra

Rating:E

Words:74k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Canon Divergent, Gorgon!BUcky, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Torture, Captain America Steve Rogers, Light Dom/Sub, Switching, Internalized Homophobia, Angst

For as long as Steve could remember, all he ever wanted to do was what was right. So when he hears about his father’s old regiment being held as POW’s by the Nazis, he’s determined to put what Doctor Erskine gave him to good use and goes AWOL to rescue them.

But the 107th isn’t all he finds there. Deep in the labs is a very unusual prisoner; one with snakes in his hair and a mask nailed to his face. Despite the man’s monstrous visage, Steve can’t in good conscience leave him to the enemy. That one act of mercy will change his life, the course of the war, and even the future of the world.

Art by @lenadraws

To Split the Night by AftertheFall with art by @ivedoneit100times that can be seen here

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

Words: 20,043

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Period-Typical Homophobia, Bucky Barnes as Captain America, Peggy Carter is a badass as per usual, regligious themes, suicide ideation, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Drugs

Summary: “It seems we all need something to kill for to seek & claim to treasure till it screams in elemental dark to argue with the Gods over–” - yusef komunyakaa

You Would Be In Clover by @chibisquirt

Rating: E (Explicit)

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Words: 126k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson

Tags: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Gay Bucky Barnes, Female Steve Rogers, Marriage of Convenience, Religion, Miscarriage, Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, Howard Stark/Steve Rogers (minor ship), Bucky Barnes/Others (offscreen)

Summary:

Sarah “Gwen” Rogers was nineteen when she married Bucky Barnes, and she knew at the time just how stupid it was: it wasn’t exactly a brilliant move to marry a man who could never love her, even—or especially—when she knew that she was in love with him.

Neither of them could have predicted the war that came, and if they had, then they sure as hell couldn’t have predicted what would happen when Gwen volunteered for Project: Rebirth.

Art by @esaael and by @mamadonovan

TWS

A Song for Eurydice by Optimustaud @optimustaud

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 19999

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: cursing, torture, medical experimentation, suicidal ideation, mental illness, body horror, cannon divergence, motown and soul

Summary: Ten years after the events of The Winter Soldier Steve tracks Bucky to an abandoned Hydra base in Siberia.

Read the fic on AO3

Art by @riakomai / @artbyria

“Episode Two: We Hate Cats!” by @lucidnancyboy and @drjezdzany .

a direct sequel to “Episode One: Red Vines”.

Art posts on tumblr: Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4+5

playlist here

Rating: M

Warnings: Mentions of past Torture, Depression, PTSD, Angst, Past Dubious Consent, Suicidal Ideation, Drinking, Explicit Language

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov (mentioned), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (mentioned), hinted at past Steve/Bucky/Peggy

Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson, FRIDAY

Word Count: 88k

Summary: Simply put, Bucky was different now. It had taken a heaping dose of pain for Steve to get that fact through his thick skull, but they were finally on the same page…sort of. Unfortunately, ‘sort of’ wasn’t making things easier. Like an idiot, Steve had expected instantaneous rainbows and sunshine to bathe them in happiness, but all he saw was a giant wall of stubborn and bacon flying at his head.

Bucky and Clint covering their mouths so Steve couldn’t hear them whispering? It hurt. Bucky and Tony laughing at unfunny jokes about torture? It hurt. Bucky and Nat exchanging secret spy glances? It hurt like hell. But Sam declaring himself ‘Team Bucky’? That downright sucked. Once, Bucky had given those pieces of himself to Steve…and only Steve. That was the problem: Steve wasn’t the boy Bucky fell in love with, he wasn’t Captain America, and he wasn’t even doing a good job at being Steve Rogers. Their foundation lost, the question had become, ‘Now what?’

They sucked at it, but they were trying. The fighting, laughing, panicking, hugging, sarcasm, make-up sex, and yes, flying bacon proved that. Not so simply put: Relationships are never a straight line; especially when you both get frozen and end up in the wrong century.

Read on AO3.

Find lucidnancyboy / Jessie Lucid Art on tumblr, AO3 and Instagram.

Find drjezdzany / Lorien on tumblr, AO3 and redbubble.

I Was Me by stuckyisawayoflife

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 20k +

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Old People Love Bucky Barnes, Depression, Anxiety

Summary:

It went like this.

James Buchanan Barnes aka Bucky aka the Winter Solider knocked on Steven Grant Rogers aka Steve aka Captain America’s door at precisely 5:47 am on Tuesday morning. And Steve who, despite all his training, was known to catch a case of “overtrusting idiot” every now and again, shuffled sleepily to the door and swung it open, yawning out a “can I help you?” without even fully opening his eyes.

He blinked when he noticed Bucky standing there, long hair hanging limply under a hat pulled down low, metal hand hidden surreptitiously in his left pocket, giving him a shy sort of smile. Steve had to grip the doorframe to keep from falling to his knees.

Bucky, who was much more composed, simply said, “Hey, Steve.”

Art & Header by ee-void

The Waves Above Us by Suchthingbutnever

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Words: 50k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Antifascist Steve, Communist Bucky, Anal Sex, Mental Instability, Racism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Suicide, Drug Use, Depression, Socialist Steve ftw!

Summary:

Steve Rogers looks for death, that elusive fucker dodging him left and right. He stares at walls, talks to ghosts and smokes a boatload of weed. He has a homeless friend who sells stuff on the sidewalk. He eats greasy burgers and barbecue chips. He works for S.H.I.E.L.D., because why the hell not? Yet, unwittingly, there are several things he rediscovers: communism, sex, and then, unbowed, unbroken and very much unhinged, the only equal to his insanity: Bucky Barnes.

—

Or: The first piece of Bucky Barnes that returned was, in all honestly.

His cock.

Art by Sally, as well as sundae cherries.

College/University AU and also High School AU

It’s Quiet Uptown by princess-of-the-worlds (ao3)

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warnings: None

Words: 28K

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Tags: Modern!AU, Boarding School!AU, Canon Temporary Death, Brief Underaged Drinking, Road Trip, Mutants

Summary: Steve Rogers has always relied on the fact that Bucky Barnes is a major part of his life, and his burgeoning crush on his best friend shouldn’t alarm him. It doesn’t, in fact, but Steve has always had the worst timing in life. He anticipated problems but not problems like this. Enter: boarding school for rich kids, death, assassins, mutants, a road trip, and what could possibly be a government-wide conspiracy. Steve may not even make it to college.

Art by @ninjasherlock

Betaread by @lostthebucky

Lessons In Chemistry by @brendaonao3

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships:Bucky/Steve (Background Sam/Rhodey)

Word Count: 42329

Tags: College AU, Science Nerd Bucky, Artist Steve, Bucky POV, Sexual Experimentation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Dom/sub Undertones, Friends With Benefits, Boys Who Can’t Communicate Except Through Sex, Language Kink, Skinny!Steve, Bucky & Sam Friendship, Bucky & Peggy Friendship

Summary: Bucky Barnes is having a rough senior year of college: his girlfriend of two years just dumped him for being too boring, he’s drowning in lab work and classes and assignments, sleep and free time are a distant memory, and all his friends seem to want to talk about is how he needs to out of his comfort zone.

But then his old high school buddy, Steve Rogers, drops back into his life, and suddenly classwork and studying and getting into a great grad school are the last thing on his mind.

Art by @sulasaferoom

of glory and of good by laure_lie (justawks) with art by barnesergeant

Rating: Teen And Up

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 20,230.

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, brief - Relationship

Tags: alternate universe - actors, alternate universe - modern setting, actor Steve, actor Bucky, Hamlet - Freeform, Shakespeare, high school theatre, social media, coming out

Summary: Steve Rogers cannot escape Bucky Barnes. He’s everywhere. High school was a long time ago, yes, but it’s not easily that you forget your first rival. Bucky Barnes stole the role of Prince Hamlet right out from under Steve’s nose, after all. Ten years later they find themselves in the same position - two actors, with a few scars and a few more secrets - vying for the role of Prince Hamlet in what promises to be the role of a lifetime.

Roll for Initiative by QueenoftheRandomWord42

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 30244 words

Chapters 5/5

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe, The D&D AU nobody asked for, Bucky Barnes plays the Winter Soldier, Steve plays Captain America, Fury’s their GM, M to F Transgender side character Joseph Rogers is the trans side character, no powers au, modern day AU, College AU

Summary: What happens when you mix D&D, The Avengers, with a dash of Identity Porn, a dash of fun, and put into the blender and press frappe? Hopefully this fic!

Bucky Barnes has been trying to juggle his final term in his undergrad while trying to find a thesis project for grad school by day, by night he plays table top games. His characters have a habit of dying before the end of the campaign, and all he can do afterwards is talk to his friend Nomad1974 about the games.

Steve Rogers has been trying to get though art school while his mother is sick with cancer, and circumstances have required that he move in with his mother and uncle until his mother is better or he graduates from college, which ever comes first. The best escape he has is playing table top games online with his friend Not_Yur_Side_Kick17.

Both players have started developing feelings for each other online, but when they meet in real life, they are unaware they know each other, and begin pining. When well these two figure out that they know each other in real life?

Art: by @samthebirdbae

Fairy Tale/Mythology AU

Endurance and Magic by izabelluhroze

Rating: G

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 22k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Cinderella!AU, Tony is the fairy godfather, mild abuse, minor character death, cliffhanger ending, pre!war Bucky, skinny!Steve, illness, this sounds angsty and it kinda is but there’s also a lot of fluff.

Summary:

‘Hear ye! Hear ye!

Know that on this day, our new king here by declares his love

For the mysterious blonde Bachelor, as wore white satin gloves

and who called himself Steven.

And requests that he presents himself at the palace immediately,

Whereupon, if he is willing, his royal majesty shall, forthwith, marry him.

Art by instagrims

I Think You’re the Cat’s Meow by daslebensmittel

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 22,109

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes / Steve Rogers

Tags: Beauty and the Beast!AU (sort of), Modern Fairytale, Humor, Asshole Cat, Mostly Canon!Steve Rogers, Canon-divergent!Bucky Barnes, Pets, Cats, Enemies to Friends (I guess), Brief Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers

Summary: When Steve met Bucky, it was love at first sight. Bucky, on the other hand, wasn’t impressed; but he also happened to be - a cat. First-time cat owner Steve has a lot to learn about taking care of Bucky, as he tries to juggle his missions and hectic love life. And despite his initial rejection of Steve, asshole-cat Bucky soon learns to appreciate his patient human. However, Bucky also has his own secret agenda to achieve, before his nine lives run out. He never expected Steve of all people to help him - not at first, anyway.

Cover Art by @kikisloveschocolate Art by @barnessergeant Art by @milkberi (pending)

It Tastes Like Ambrosia by Little_Iago, myfailsafe, picoalloe

Rating: Explicit

Words:42k

Archive Warnings: None

After a human soul escapes the grasp of Hades and evades ferrying by Charon, the peaceful God of death Thanatos is tasked with finding out which God is interfering. Taking the mortal form of James Buchanan Barnes, he finds himself face to face with Steve Rogers, the man who has escaped death not once but twice. Now he must get into Steve's good graces and figure out why this mortal is special enough to disappear from the Underworld. Now Thanatos must navigate the normal life of a human, feelings and all, and manage to finish this simple task. The only problem is nothing involving Steve is simple. At all.

Art by @squeakydevil and @cbolle

#sbb2017

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