#it’s okay we already learned all this stuff in lab idk why we’re doing it in lecture too

[creampuffqueen]

girl in front of me in bio is drawing the most stunning picture of a horse instead of taking notes. nature is healing 💗

[just-anka]

I realised I haven’t really regularly posted here since like... I don’t even know, September? It’s been a while, anyway. A lot happened, and I now feel like actually writing a post for the first time in a while, so here goes haha. The first bullet point is entirely work waffle so feel free to skip. Apologies in advance for the fact that this post will probably reach novel length by the time I’m done. 

• I took a week off in late September before Ben started his new job so we could go to the mountains for a bit, and it was a much-needed little break from work. And pretty much right after I got back, work got completely mental - nothing bad as such, just one thing after the other, loads of deadlines, so many important things. First I was finishing up data for a paper (first authorship was being debated which is partially why I threw myself into the job so much, but it looks like it’ll be the PhD student before me’s now, which is how it should be tbh, it’s much more hers than it is mine), then the date for my first committee meeting was set and I suddenly had only two weeks to prepare (did not think it was going to be that short notice, whoops, had a very stressful two weeks but all went well - for us, this meeting means presenting our research plan and preliminary data to a committee of four professors so they can give you input, it’s not suuuper formal but still pretty stressful), then I had to write the report for that (I love writing so that one was okay), then there was suddenly a lot to do for a really important cooperation with a company (big money responsibility which stressed me the fuck out), and then, just as I thought I was pretty much done for the year, I realised I needed my lab book up to date for my end of year meeting with my PI (which wouldn’t be such a big deal, except I didn’t have a lab book at the time. Never got around to starting one. So nine months of lab book were written within another very stressful week). Whew. Even writing this out makes me feel like that was a lot haha. 

• After the end of year discussion, I really was done for the year - I officially worked until the 23rd but there was not that much actual work happening, and with the pressure off after months, I properly crashed for a few days. Ben left for England on the weekend after to see his family for christmas etc, and I spent most of that weekend sleeping and doing very little. It was needed. Then my mum came to visit me for the holidays and we had four really lovely days together, also involving a lot of chilling (the only actual thing we did was that magical winter hike that I posted some pictures of the other day). 

• And now I’m skiing! I was planning to go to England as well for NYE to see Ben’s family, but with the corona situation escalating again lately I decided it was too risky for just a few days. So I made a last-minute plan to go skiing by myself instead, because all that involves is a 2 hour train journey. I’m actually staying in a hotel too, which I’ve never done by myself before, I’m usually a dorm in a hostel type of person, but well. Covid has changed a lot of things :D trying to stay safe and away from people, which is of course not entirely possible in a ski resort, but it’s going okay. The skiing itself is great, it’s really nice having some time to go at my own pace and a few days in a row. Today was day 4 and I’ve really found my groove again (more on that later). There’s not much snow though so not many off-pisteing opportunities :/ I’m staying until Monday and then it’s back to work on Wednesday. 

• Speaking of skiing, we’ve got season passes this year, my first season and Ben’s second. We’ve just been doing on the weekends so far - since the 21st of November I just realised while looking back in my calendar! That’s one hell of an early season start haha. We did just one day three weekends and then one full weekend right before Ben left. The first few days were bloody hard. For context, I learned to ski before I learned to walk and loved it as a child, then stopped for a few years because I felt like I wasn’t progressing anymore and was getting bored with it, basically. Then last January I went to France with Ben and his skiing friends and got introduced to freeriding and the idea of ski touring, and now I’m back to loving it haha. I’d ideally like to not have to resort ski anymore at one point (meaning touring) because I know it’s terrible from an environmental standpoint but... idk. It’s currently my only option, and I love it a lot, so I guess it feels okay? Anyway, since I learned to ski so early, it’s the one sport that I’ve always been pretty good at and like, never get scared, at least not on piste. Until this year. The first three individual days were just all kind of horrible, the conditions weren’t ideal with very hard surface and tons of ice and pretty busy slopes, and only steep terrain open as well (Engelberg, our “home” resort - we have a season pass that encompasses a bunch of resorts so we’re not limited to one - is literally dead flat beginner’s slopes, which weren’t open in the beginning, or red runs that should be black and black lol). Pairing loads of ice with my old skis which barely have an edge anymore was... not ideal. I was so scared constantly and it made me like I lost all my ability etc etc. But yeah, turns out I just needed a few days and some easier conditions to get back into it, and now ice and steep stuff and everything is fine again. Who would’ve thought. (a sensible person, probably). 

• But then, the full weekend we skied in December was awesome! Saturday already felt much better and then it snowed a bunch over night and Sunday we spent all day powder skiing, basically. I learned SO much and just had an absolute ball! Definitely one of the best days skiing I’ve had, and one of the best days recently in general. 

• Plus that whole weekend was just lovely, car camping in a campsite full of huge campervans was pretty fun :D I love the looks we get when people see the car and clearly wonder where we sleep. And we’ve got our setup perfected for winter now so both the nights were toasty. Friday night we had dinner in “bed” watching a movie, and Saturday night we sat in the little kitchen (the campsite has it open for everyone, but everyone else there has a camper, so it doesn’t seem to be used much) drinking tea and playing cards and ahh. Camping in the mountains. My ideal life eh? (though the weekend before this wonderful one, we got snowed in because it dumped over a metre over night completely unexpectedly and that was stressful as hell, but I think that’s a story for another day, if ever, I’m kind of trying to forget that day :’D) 

• Yesterday I also finally took the plunge and ordered new skis. Been debating for ages which ones to get but I’ve finally decided and I’m now very excited! 

• Ok this post so far reads as “work and skiing” which is pretty much what November and December were and probably what January is going to be too haha. Ben and I want to ski another week together end of January as well, and there’s some big exciting work things coming up as well. 

• Even though I have to admit, now that I’m on a break, I’ve spent a lot of time dreading work and questioning my career choices and all of that lark... sigh. I love my job most of the time, but I kind of hate having a job? If that makes sense? Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) I just wish I had more time for other things that I care about. But I also now I’m lucky to have that job, especially this year, and lucky to have a job I don’t hate, and get to do a lot of fun stuff on the side, even if it often means little sleep and downtime. 

• Speaking of things I care about, I was on a proper roll with writing for a few days before and after Christmas. It’s ebbed off again a bit, but it was still pretty cool, and my totally-useless-all-cheese-project is now 33,000+ words long and like, half-way there story wise. Had a lot of fun with that. 

• Lastly, Ben is still in England, and he’s coming back next Sunday, and I can’t wait! I miss him so much when we’re not together it’s actually silly. Although it’s less stressful this time than the last few times because... we live together, his work just offered him an unlimited contract from January, and I’m stuck here for another 2-3 years, so it looks like we’ll actually get to be in the same place for now. Which is all I wished for last year, and I’m so damn grateful - that stability really is the best thing 2020 has brought for me. And, as he said, even though we were apart for the start of the new year, it will hopefully bring more time together than any previous year ♡

• Okay I think this is long enough now, if you actually made it until here you’re a hero and I will try and post a bit more regularly again now to avoid this size of mind dump :’D I hope you all got into the new year alright, it feels very strange to me that it’s 2021 because I actually slept through midnight on new year’s for the first time since I was tiny haha but I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way! 

[littleredlie]

Intervention (S1P4)

Series Masterlist | Master Masterlist

Chicago Med x doctor!OC Morgan Fitzgerald is a doctor at Chicago Medical and she returns back after a two week break. However, we learn that she didn’t spend her entire break off and instead focused on her sister’s murder.  Based off S1E11 of Chicago Med

2.3k+ Words (Short chapter)

Featuring: Morgan Fitzgerald, Hayden Everett (mentioned), Will Halstead, Maggie Lockwood, Connor Rhodes, Kevin Atwater, Adam Ruzek, Jay Halstead (mentioned), Sarah Reese Warning:  mentions of rape and murder, idk what else ??? A/N: Yikes, I started writing this chapter and ended up writing the next chapter so I had to write the end of this one and the beginning of part 5. This part was hard to write because the episode didn’t have much action to put Morgan in and so I made it a kind of Morgan-centric episode. It’s very shot, I had no idea what I was doing. Part 5 is better and I’ve already started part six. Sorry in advance. And we will never talk about this chapter again.

Part Three

“Hey Morgan, welcome back.”

“Hey Mags, how’re you?” Morgan tosses her stethoscope around her neck and picks up a few papers sitting on the desk.

“Nope, nada. I wanna hear how your vacation went. You’re gone for two weeks and not a single person hears from you. You do not deserve to hear about any work drama until you spill.”

“I think you are being overdramatic. And not that you need to know, but Connor heard from me,” Morgan shrugs, not daring to look at the nurse. Maggie had an eyebrow raised and was giving her a look; it was similar to the one she did during Jay and the doctor’s interaction.

“You two really have history don’t you?”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for almost 15 years. He knew my sister first, but he and I were just closer.” At the mention of her sister, Maggie sends her friend a soft but the latter still isn’t looking. “And we made this ridiculous promise while we were drunk about how we were always gonna be there for each other, and yet, neither of us have broken that promise.” Morgan is quiet for a second as she thinks about the time she and Connor had as friends, but then she moves on. Like she always does when it comes to her personal life. She never lingers on it long enough for people to try and figure her out. “My vacation though was very quiet. Hayden and I drove up to a resort  up north and rented a cabin. We skied, went to spas, ate luxurious food. She had to leave for an assignment early so I just relaxed and did a little research too.”

“So you went all the way to a resort just to work, eventually.”

“The work’s never done Maggie,” with that Morgan leaves with a smile, heading to   the first patient of her day. Maggie just watches her receding back.

Before Morgan can make it into her assigned examination room, someone walks up to her, placing a gentle hand on her lower back.

“Hey Fitz,” Connor says, a small smile on his face.

“Fitz? No one’s called me that since med school,” she chuckles fully stopping to look at him. “What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to welcome you back. You look good.”

“Yeah, I guess time off was vital. But I have to know,” she pauses, the anticipation building and Connor waiting. “Does everyone know about Olivia? I’d suspect everyone would come to you for some clarification.”

Connor pauses, contemplating whether or not to spew out a white lie. It was true a few people came and prodded for the truth. And he briefly heard whispered conversations among colleagues before they would stop when he got near, but he knew what the topic was. Connor also knew how private Morgan was. She always had been, and after Olivia’s death she just became more closed off. But she also didn’t like being lied to. “Yeah, people know. I’ve tried to handle it, but it has its own life.”

“I guess it’s okay. I just…. I don’t know.” She shrugs and Connor rests his hands on her upper arms.

“Will you be okay?” His voice is sincere and Morgan wants to hug him, but maybe not right now.

“I will be,” at that Connor is about to pull away but Morgan stops him. “Hey, I wanted to apologize for being a bitch before I left. You know how my family gets me.”

“I understand. I do. And I’ll always give you the space you need.”

“Yeah, I know. But I probably shouldn’t push away my best friend. I need you, especially now.”

Connor pulls Morgan into a quick hug and is going to say something but a commotion arises from the ambulance bay.

“Dr. Rhodes, can you get this, please?” The two doctors pull apart and turn to the pleading charge nurse. “We’re slammed.” 

“I’m on it!” He answers back and throws a ‘talk later’ look to Morgan over his shoulder.

She nods back to him and finally turns her direction to her primary goal. With notes open about the patient on the tablet and a smile on her face, Dr. Fitzgerald returns to work.

          ❦

Three hours later, Morgan is on a roll. Treating patients as quickly and efficiently as she could. She had seen her usual coworkers, except Will. She may or may not have been avoiding him. And it was about to get easier, because after her lunch break she was heading up the OBGYN. She loved emergency medicine, but always felt that there weren’t enough available people in the emergency room that specialized in the field. Just like Connor was pursuing cardiothoracic surgery and Natalie was focused on emergency pediatrics, Morgan focused on obstetric and gynecology emergencies. It interested her just as much as emergency medicine did and after losing a pregnant patient when she first got her match, the choice came easy to her.

“Dr. Fitzgerald.” Maggie calls, pulling the doctor in her direction.

“Yes ma’am. What can I do for you?” Morgan leans her body on the desk as the ensuing chaos of the emergency room flutters around them.

“I just need a signature here for your last patient’s discharge papers.” 

“No problem.” Morgan pulls out a pen from her pocket and signs the paperwork. During this, Will siddles up to her. Maggie notices first and wants to usher him away, since she (along with everyone) noticed that Morgan was ignoring him, but the redhead ignored the nurse’s glares and he turned to Morgan, who still hadn't noticed that he was there.

“Morgan.”

Morgan’s plump lips fold into a thin line as a breath catches in her throat, she was avoiding this. Slowly placing the pen back into her jacket, she finally lays her eyes on him. “Dr. Halstead.”

“It’s good to see you back.” He starts, trying to catch her eyes which were fluttering around the hospital floor, evading. “I was hoping we co–” a ringtone interrupts his words and Morgan notices it’s coming from her. She breathes out a sigh of relief when she pulls it out. It may have been petty, but she wanted to stay angry at him a little longer. 

“Sorry, I have to take this.” Without a response, she answers the phone without looking at who it is, and walks away. “Hey, are you here?” She asked.

“Yeah, we’re in the parking garage, top floor.” His answer beckons her to start walking to the hospital employee parking lot.

“We?” Morgan questioned. 

“Yeah, Adam’s here.”

“Kevin!” She screeches, annoyance bubbling inside her. There was a reason she didn’t ask for Adam’s help.

“He’s my partner Morg, I couldn’t blow him off.” Kevin answers back and she pushes out an agitated sigh.

“Ugh, whatever. I’ll be up there in a few.” Morgan hands up and stuffs her cellphone back into her lab coat pocket.

The weather isn’t bad when Morgan hikes herself up to the top of the parking garage.  She can see the two policemen leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee.  She’d met Kevin years ago through his younger brother Jordan. The younger kid ended up in the hospital and Morgan was the one to treat him. They got to talking, found out they had some things in common, and it was one of the closest connections she made when she first moved out here and after Olivia’s death. Dating wasn’t an option between them, the way the two cared for each other was something close to two siblings and again, the fact that she dated Jay wasn’t helping. She didn’t want to dip her toe into the police dating pool again.

Morgan knew Adam through Kevin and Jay. And she made the mistake of introducing Adam to her roommate. Those two were quite the pair. Hayden used him as an inside source when it came to her articles and he used her to do things that he as a police officer legally couldn’t do (Morgan wasn’t necessarily supposed to know that though). Together, they made an agreement to warm each other’s bed when it was needed. Morgan of course thought it was stupid as Adam was a mess when it came to his love life, Hayden reassured that it was no strings attached and they were practically best friends when they weren’t sleeping together. 

Other than that, Morgan and Adam didn’t have a bad relationship, she didn’t want to ask him this favor because she knew he’d tell Hayden. And Morgan doesn’t want her roommate on her back.

“Hey boys,” Morgan called out to them, her body leaning through the open passenger window. She gives a strained smile to Adam and he gives her one back, knowing why she didn’t ask him to do the favor. Without saying anything, Kevin passes the folder she asked for.

It was surprisingly thinner than what she expected it to be. This killer has been on the loose for a while and she’d hoped that the police would listen to her anonymous tips that tried to tie together all his crimes. But the evidence showed that they didn’t.

“This is all they have Kev?” Morgan flips through the pages, disappointment written on her face. 

“Yeah.  I tried digging up some more, but that’s all that was available.”

“God, cops are so fucking useless.” She huffs out, completely missing the offended faces on the two detectives. “I have more in my own files than this. I tried taking it in, but I keep getting shut down.”

“Morgan, you can’t do this by yourself.” Adam finally speaks up, placing a hand on her wrist. She pulls her eyes away from the paperwork to him. 

“But it seems like no one else wants to do the work. Olivia’s case has gone cold and I feel like the longer that it goes unsolved, the harder it will be to get justice.” Olivia’s throat aches as a sob threatens to creep out. There are tears brimming in her eyes and she turns her body away from the two men.

“I understand that, doc. But, you already have to worry about your patients and yourself.” Adam starts, glancing at Kevin, trying to get his partner to say something. The black man is unsure what to say, he’d recently learned about Morgan’s sister when she first asked him to acquire the files. 

“Why don’t we take a look into it?” Kevin says and Adam wants to hit him upside the head. Adam had promised Hayden that he would help Morgan move on, which meant getting Olivia’s investigation out of her mind. If he and Kevin pursued this case, Morgan would never let it rest.

“Would you really do that?” Morgan almost throws herself into the car, hope filling in her chest. “You’d do actual investigating?” Kevin hesitates when he meets eye contact with Adam,  but the look on Morgan’s face destroys him.

“Yeah, I’ll try to do some work in between my regular caseload.” There’s a soft smile on Kevin’s face while Adam sighs out then turns his head to look at the giddy doctor.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me Kevin. You too, Adam.” Before the second man could say anything, Morgan’s phone goes off indicating the arrival for one of her pregnant patients. “Looks like I have to go. Why don’t you come over tonight and I’ll give you everything that I have.” She smiles at both of them. “And Adam, please don’t tell Hayden or Jay.”

“Jay?” Adam questions. He understood why she didn’t want him to tell Hayden, but Jay?

“Yeah, Jay. The two of us are in a really good spot right now and I don’t want to jeopardize that anymore that it already has been.” Adam nods, understanding. “I’ll see you guys later.” With that, Morgan makes her way back into the hospital.

          ❦

Between patients Morgan finds herself peeking into the folder that Kevin gave her. One name stands: Isaac Elway. Apparently, his sister was a victim to the same killer that ended Olivia’s life. Details of the horrific crime, along with her sisters, were displayed in the paperwork. Morgan’s read the information about Olivia’s case numerous times before, but it still breaks her heart and it constantly keeps her up at night.

When she has no more patients, she pulls out a card with number on it. It’s Elway’s. She dials the number, her fingernail being demolished by the teeth in her mouth. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, she’d been searching for answers for years. This was the first time she had heard of Elway and she had to know what he knew. Why was phone number in the file? Was he that important.

The phone rings and anxiety rises in Morgan’s throat. Eventually she had to get answers, that’s why she had Kevin looking into more details. No one answers the other line, just the automated voicemail message and a beep. Morgan quickly debates in her head whether or not to leave a message,  but ultimately she does.

“Hi, Mr. Elway this Dr. Morgan Fitzgerald at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center.  I am calling in regards to Sabrina Elway’s case file and it’s relation to another case. This isn’t a topic would like to discuss over the phone so I’d appreciate it if you would give me a call back. Thank you.” She hangs up the call and shoves the phone back into the pocket of her scrubs. 

“Dr. Fitzgerald, I need an OB consult on a patient?” Dr. Reese pokes her head through the door, oblivious to the emotions ripping the attending.

“Yeah, give me a moment.  I’ll be there.” The intern nods her head and retreats back towards the nurse’s central desk.

Morgan watches Sarah leave and then her eyes graze over the presence of her fellow doctors and the patients inhabiting the emergency room. She needed to accept that she will get her answers soon and that she could not speed the process of the world. She couldn’t afford getting distracted or she’d put herself and her patients in danger. She leaves the doctor’s lounge and heads back to her job, finally relinquishing control of her sister’s case.

Part Five

[trensu]

Episode 43: The One where WWX is Soft for Children and Bunnies

we're still in the forbidden chamber

wwx has his detective cap on and is being clever

the lan bros are listening attentively as they should be

wwx: jgy is a sneaky conniving bastard blah blah he vandalizes evil music books blah blah

lots of boring plot talk basically

i'm sitting here like, *sigh* so pretty wwx so pretty

which is what i imagine lwj does all the time...

lol wwx goes to lxc and is like, no offense bro but jgy was a skilled spy during the war who was able to infiltrate and memorize wen ruohan's stuff in their secret chamber. invading this one would've been a piece of cake for him

and lxc is like well damn, guess i better test out all this evil music and see if it actually works

lxc: i'll just test the evil magic music on myself. yep. that way no one gets hurt and that couldn't possibly backfire on me at all

lwj: bro

lxc: bro. i gotta do this bro to clear my bae’s i mean friend's name

LOL lxc is like you all see jgy this way but i see him in a totally different way

YEAH WE KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

LOLOLOL OMG

lxc turns to gaze off into the middle distance and is like, the jgy in my heart is kind and benevolent blah blah

and behind him wwx crosses his arms and all but rolls his eyes LIKE DUDE YOU'RE COMING TO THE WRONG PERSON FOR SYMPATHY. I'M THE ONE THAT GOT KILLED FOR THINGS YOUR BF DID

oh this moment's interesting

lxc is like, can't you allow me to be cautious about making this decision? 

and lwj takes a step towards him, ready to speak but wwx grabs his upper arm and stops him with a shake of his head

the look lwj gives him just before that was like why are you stopping me?

but wwx knows this isn't something you can push

lwj trusts wwx's judgment and holds back whatever he was going to say

i'm curious as to what he WAS going to tell his brother tho

now lwj is leaving to talk to their uncle and lxc is like, sure i'll take your soulmate back to your room for you

WE'RE GONNA GET SOME BABY!LWJ FLASHBACKS SOON OMG

IT'S GONNA HURT

wwx: since lan zhan isn't here, i wanna ask you about something

lxc: tell me

wwx: what are the whipping scars on lan zhan?

lxc: you don't know?

AND THEIR SONG STARTS PLAYING

wwx: i asked him but he didn't wanna say, so i'm asking you

lxc: yeah, if he doesn't think it's necessary he'll probably never talk about it so i'll tell you instead of respecting my little brother's decisions about his personal life

AND OKAY I'M GLAD HE DID BC IT GIVES US WANGXIAN MOMENTS BUT STILL!! 

lxc: do you remember that one time when wn shot and killed your sister's husband?

on the one hand, HOW COULD HE FORGET but on the other hand, he forgets quite a lot of things actually...

lxc: after wq and the others turned themselves in...*cue flashback*

we're at the burial mounds, lwj is standing by himself before wwx's cave facing down a whole freaking squadron of cultivators

su she: *runs his mouth as if we actually care what he has to say*

lwj: *completely unfazed and expressionless* you are not qualified to speak to me

HELL FUCKING YEAH

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW EPIC THIS MOMENT IS

LOOK AT LWJ OWN THAT ICE PRINCE PERSONA TO STRIKE DOWN AN IMPUDENT ANT OF A PERSON

su she goes to draw his sword AS IF HE HAS ANY REAL CHANCE OF DEFEATING HANGUANG JUN IN A SWORD FIGHT

but jgy shows up with even MORE cultivators and then does that thing where he compliments the person inconveniencing him and takes control of the situation

jgy: oh hanguang jun is so honorable let's not search wwx's secret cave lab right now

BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT LWJ DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE

HE DOESN'T LOOK AT HIM OR SU SHE AT ALL

bc lwj is forever Better Than You.

fuck jgy

jgy: even if wwx is alive, the burial mounds is surrounded so there's no way he could come here without us noticing

he says this to lwj all mildly BUT YOU KNOW IT'S A THREAT

He bows (lwj STILL doesn't acknowledge him and it's GREAT) and walks away

then pauses (bc Drama) and is like oh, almost forgot, your uncle is waiting for you at the cloud recesses. And then he just leaves with all his cultivators

this is when lwj finally looks at jgy (or his back, at least since jgy is leaving)

We cut to the next scene that has lwj slamming the point of bichen in the the stone ground, arm bleeding

HE IS VISIBLY SWEATING AND TREMBLING

lxc: lwj made a mess and fought against everyone there

AND WE SEE LWJ FALL TO HIS KNEE, ONE ARM USING BICHEN AS SUPPORT WHILE THE OTHER RESTS ON THE GROUND

but the fall was gradual and jerky, like he was fighting it the whole way down. 

As if the only reason he fell is bc he's used up every ounce his strength and energy he had in his body

lxc: uncle burst into anger and took him back home, punishing him with 300 lashes and repenting in the cold pond cave for 3 years

we cut to the cloud recesses, camera shot from above making lwj, who is kneeling before his uncle and surrounded by disciples, look small AS ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING ON THE CELLO 

his uncle orders them to start beating lwj

AND LWJ TAKES IT LIKE A CHAMP

he barely moves with each strike and MAN THAT DISCIPLE IS NOT HOLDING BACK

oooh, we see him do that fist clench thing which looks even more painful without bichen to grip tbh

dude lwj is clenching his jaw so hard. 

like, he refuses to cry out in pain and it's gotta hurt bc he's bleeding already

lqr: what is rule 52 of the lan clan?

lwj: do not befriend evil

NO HESITATION. SAID IN A STRONG FIRM VOICE

AS IF HE WASN'T CURRENTLY GETTING BEATEN WITH A NIGHTMARE STICK

and lqr is all you have forgotten the fundamental laws of our clan, how can you have the nerve to face your ancestors like this!!

BUT LWJ IS NOT HAVING THAT

HE'LL TAKE THE BEATING BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIS POINT

lwj: i dare ask you, grandmaster, who is right? who is wrong? what is black? what is white?

Bc our boy has learned! He’s learned NUANCE and CRITICAL THINKING and the existence of GRAY AREAS

BC WTF IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THESE STUPID RULES IF THEY DON'T PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND DEFENSELESS?

Bc his soulmate was right all along and he didn’t stand by him when he needed him most and now his soulmate is gone. His soulmate is gone. He’s GONE.

I'M GONNA MAKE MYSELF CRY

lqr: perfect! that's my good student

he does not say this happily. he is in fact SHOUTING this VERY ANGRILY

and here i wanna say, hey lqr, what's that rule about excessive noise...?

cue lwj's fist clench again, which sounds just as painful as the beating tbh

lqr: wangji, you have disappointed me

NOT AS MUCH AS YOU AND YOUR DAMN RULE-BOOK HAVE DISAPPOINTED HIM, YOU JERK

and here we see an ACTUAL VISIBLE SCOWL on our beautiful hanguang jun's face as he continues to be beaten

HOW ANGRY AND TORN UP MUST HE BE TO ACTUALLY SCOWL LIKE THAT??

cut to lwj kneeling at the ice table thing in the cold pond cave, robed in white and face blank but somehow still projecting an aura of cold fury

probably bc the rulebook open in front of him says "eradicate evil, establish laws, and goodness will be everlasting" and he knows that’s bullshit now

but actually this scene is visually very beautiful. 

It’s all in misty shades of pale cold blue and white and everything’s spaced out in a way to emphasize how very very alone lwj is

cut back to the present with wwx and lxc

wwx grips his flute with both hands and looks down like he can't believe what he's hearing

lxc: when lwj was imprisoned i tried to persuade him...but he told me he considered you his confidant soulmate and believed in your integrity

wwx: why would he bother…?

his brow is furrowed and his voice is soft like he truly doesn't seem to understand why lwj would bother to do all that

and on the one hand i wanna scream IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, YOU MORON

but on the other hand, everybody else in wwx's life, everyone else he loved, turned on him or died 

and he probably truly believes he deserved all that, and that he is undeserving of lwj's unwavering faith

and then i cry

lxc: do you know what this place is?

shot of the entrance to the silence room aka the jingshi aka lwj's room

wwx: i don't

lxc: it's where our mother lived

wwx is hanging off his every word

lxc: you might find it strange that the wife of the clan leader didn't live with her husband in the frigid chamber

with a name like that i wouldn't want to live there either...

lxc: you might know that our father used to isolate himself for years, not caring about anything...

Not even his sons, apparently!

wwx: i do

and he explains that his father isolated himself bc of his mother or whatever

lxc: this place was more of a prison than a home

It was his mother’s prison. When did he figure that out? Was it when HE WAS STILL A KID??

DID HE FEEL GUILTY FOR SPENDING TIME WITH HIS  MOTHER KNOWING SHE WAS LOCKED UP AGAINST HER WILL??

THE LAN FAM IS SO FUCKED UP OMG

now he's telling us the whole tragic love story

it was love at first sight, he says and wwx is like ah yes, a typical romance

and lxc is like, uh no, she didn't love him back and she murdered his teacher, idk why tho

lxc: but i guess it's all about right and wrong, love and hate

Which is a major theme of the whole show, tbh

OH DAMN

now he's telling wwx about how his dad took his mom to cloud recesses and married her against the clan's approval and that he told them that this was the person he would love for a lifetime, that “whoever tried to drive her out would have to go through him first"

DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU, WWX?

RINGING ANY (WEDDING) BELLS?

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING AT ALL, WWX?

"after the wedding my father built this house, and locked my mother up"

lxc says this all so calmly and gently, as if he were reading from a story book rather than reciting his immediate family's history

Which is probably a coping mechanism, tbh

this fam is so fucked up, have i mentioned?

lxc: do you understand why my father did all this?

wwx: *nod*

lxc: and do you think he did the right thing?

wwx: i don't know

well, i mean, he married her and locked her up against her will

granted she did murder someone but i get the feeling she probably had good reason to

and now he's telling wwx that they basically had no parents bc they were given off to others to raise them until they were old enough to attend their uncle's lessons

FLASHBACK TO BABY!LWJ READING TO HIS MAMA FROM A LAN CLAN BOOK

HE'S SO CUTE AND TINY AND HIS MAMA IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY. 

SHE LOOKS AT HIM WITH SUCH LOVE, AND RUNS HER HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SO GENTLY

lxc makes a point here to say that their mother never complained about her imprisonment or how painful it must've been to be trapped like that

BC THEIR MAMA LOVED THEM

lxc: lwj never said anything, but i knew he looked forward to the day we visited mother every month

HOW AWFUL IS THAT, TO BE RESTRICTED TO ONE DAY A MONTH TO SPEND WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE???

Lxc: he did (look forward to seeing mom). and so did i.

cut to baby lwj kneeling in the snow, all little and by himself IN FRONT OF THE JINGSHI, AKA HIS MOM’S PRISON AKA PROBABLY HIS FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL THE CLOUD RECESSES

lxc: one day, uncle told us that we didn't need to go there anymore. mother had gone.

I'M GONNA CRY

HE'S SO LITTLE AND SAD AND HE'S KNEELING SO STILL WITH HIS TINY HANDS IN HIS LAP

like even lqr is moved bc he goes and puts a hand on his shoulder

lxc: we were too young to understand what that meant.

lxc: no matter how others consoled us or how uncle scolded him, lwj still came here every month. he would sit on that porch and wait for someone to open the door.

I'M SOBBING

LWJ HAS SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES

He’s kept himself still and stalwart ever since he was a kid so that if his loved one chose to come back, he’d still be there for them 

I'M HURTING SO MUCH

HE JUST WANTED THEM TO COME BACK AND THINK HE WAS WORTH STAYING FOR. 

GOD I HATE CRYING. I'M A SNOTTY MESS RN

Lxc: when we got older we realized that she would never come back. that no one would ever open the door for him. but he still came.

FUCK

GOD DAMN IT

STOP HURTING ME SO MUCH, WHAT THE HELL

lxc: lwj has always been stubborn since he was very young

lxc: back then, he watched you learn crafty tricks. he didn't say anything, but i knew...that the pain and confusion in his heart was the same as what he felt for our mother

MY GOD, JUST BEAT ME WITH THOSE NIGHTMARE STICKS INSTEAD. THAT WOULD HURT LESS THAN THIS.

wwx's eyes are all red-rimmed and his brow is all pinches and HE JUST SWALLOWED BACK THE LUMP IN HIS THROAT

THE SAME ONE I HAVE RIGHT NOW AS I CRY AND CRY AND CRY

and lxc is like, well, that's enough intense conversation for now, imma do a flute solo

~flute sounds~

and now he's like i tried to persuade lwj before but now that i'm in his shoes it turns out making a decision isn't actually easy to do?? who'd have thought?

oh here comes lwj, all straight-backed and regal as always but no jewelry in his hair! no topknot! he looks so different this way

AND HE HAS TWO JARS OF EMPEROR'S SMILE WITH HIM

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING AGAIN

oh, the way he holds it out to wwx, like an offering at an altar...

cut to inside the jingshi, we get to see him uncap one of the jars and pour a drink out for his soulmate. 

like, the camera is specifically focused on his hands

which, hey, i’ve seen the tags ppl, i know some of you are Into That so take the time to enjoy this

then we get a shot of all of him and he looks so so soft and exposed and vulnerable  here?? with his hair down in his own room, pouring a drink for his wei ying

it's beautiful

wwx walks in and watches as lwj starts to pour himself a cup of tea

THIS IS A LOT. 

~Their Song~ playing sweetly, no other sounds except the quiet clinks of the cups and teapot. And all of lwj’s actions are just...light

wwx: lan zhan…

GOD I JUST WANT TO SCREENCAP THIS WHOLE SCENE

the shot of lwj here, while he’s focused on pouring his tea. 

the way his head is angled and the wisps of his hair frame his face. 

he takes up a good portion of the screen without seeming domineering or forceful, just...peacefully existing in the space

and then we cut back to wwx's face, his mouth open as he takes a breath 

He wants to say something, anything, but you can see on his face that he can't make the words come

Like he doesn’t want to disturb the moment with whatever he was going to say, bc it’s a fragile moment

and then this brief literally-2-seconds shot of lwj to the right, sitting at the table 

the table is set up so beautifully with the jars of emperor's smile and their cups. and he's looking up and the lighting AND AHHHHHH

IT'S JUST A VERY BEAUTIFUL TWO SECONDS AND I'VE STARED AT IT FOR MUCH TOO LONG ALREADY

lwj: what?

and wwx can't even really return his gaze. he looks just as vulnerable here but, unlike lwj, he also looks awkward, like he’s nervous in his vulnerability same ,wwx, same

wwx tries to say thank you but it comes out stuttered and soft while lwj watches him patiently

wwx mumbles to himself "it's awkward to say it out loud" and his eyes flicker back and forth for a second as his mouth pinches, agitated 

BC IT IS MEGA AWKWARD

FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD

AND AS LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS WWX CAN BE, IT'S NEVER ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.

wwx: *clears throat* i mean...the burden on your brother's shoulders is tremendous

smooth transition, wwx, very smooth

but at least it allowed him the chance to sit at the table with lwj

wwx: after all, jgy is his sworn brother. if i were him...

he trails off awkwardly and it feels even MORE awkward bc the background music just ends suddenly and it's silent for us, the audience

lwj doesn't say anything and instead gently moves the cup of wine towards wwx.

once that's done he says "if there's evidence, my brother won't tolerate it."

but he doesn't look at wwx and his face is somber

wwx: that's true. he's got his principles

finally lwj looks at him

lwj: you didn't tell him.

wwx: tell him what?

lwj: about the flute on qiongqi way

wwx: you know about that?

lwj: i asked wen ning. he said he heard a second flute

wwx: i thought i was hearing things until nightless city *insert flashback here*

cut to next scene. wwx is standing just outside the jingshi doors with a jar in his hand as it snows

lwj steps up next to him and ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING

they're still talking about the flute and how wwx is confident now that there was a second one used to frame him basically. he's quietly angry here.

lwj immediately says it was jgy but wwx responds with "maybe, maybe not"

lwj looks at him, "you don't want to know the answer?"

bc lwj does. he wants to know who framed his soulmate, causing the suffering that lead to his death

wwx: at first i really wanted to but now i just want to say, 'whatever. screw it!'

he says with a laugh and then takes a swig from his wine jar

wwx put down that wine jar, you've obviously had too much already.

wwx: lan zhan, i actually think whether i know the answer or not won't be of much importance for me. after all, in ppl's minds, the yiling patriarch did bad things. even if i expressed my grievances, people still won't trust me

and he smiles

MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

He says, "Sometimes the world only needs an excuse or target that everyone can hate"

PAINFULLY TRUE

and then he says something along the lines that it doesn't matter, if he wasn't made the target, someone else would have been

BASICALLY HE'S JUST VERY DISILLUSIONED HERE 

THE WORLD SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED FOR DISAPPOINTING HIM

now we hear the sound of a guqin playing ~Their Song~

lwj at his guqin playing their song to soothe his soulmate

wwx: *voiceover* i was lonely back then. the few who believed in me were dead, wen ning, jyl. Luckily…

and here we get the crescendo of the opening theme as we cut to lwj. 

the voiceover changes from wwx to lwj

lwj: in this world, there is still someone who trust you

I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

voiceover switches back to wwx and we get a shot of wwx watching lwj play

wwx: lan zhan, i toast to you. i'm glad to have one true friend

SO MANY FEELINGS

and then i get distracted as wwx does that thing where he pours wine into his mouth and spills half of it down his VERY INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT

shot of lwj thinking: for nothing else but a clean conscience

shot of wwx thinking: no matter how they slander me, i know i have a clean conscience

EVEN THEIR THOUGHTS ARE IN SYNC OMG

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS STILL PLAYING BUT NOW IT'S THE GUQIN AND THE FLUTE COMING TOGETHER

wwx gazes tenderly at lwj and whispers: lan zhan. i'm sorry...and thank you

AND WE GET THE ACTORS’ VOCALS ADDED IN TO ~THEIR SONG~ AS LWJ LOOKS UP AND SEES WWX WATCHING HIM

AND I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS

I WOULD LIKE TO GET DISTRACTED BY WWX'S INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT AGIAN PLZ

cut to the next day with lxc meditating and our boys hiding behind a privacy screen

lwj is in perfect posture, eyes closed and meditating calmly while wwx keeps listing to the side and jolting awake bc meditating IS FOR NERDS

lol except this time he lists to the opposite side and falls into lwj's shoulder with a cute little gasp

lwj gives him a look and wwx quickly arranges himself into a sloppy lotus pose

jgy walks in and our boys are immediately on alert peeking through the privacy screen 

(which actually isn't all that private. you can see through half of it??)

now we get a moment for lxc and jgy in which jgy returns the jade token and it’s, like, a Thing

BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM

LET'S SEE OUR BOYS' REACTION TO WHAT JGY HAS TO SAY

wwx is watching lwj as jgy says something about how they don't have info on lwj and wwx yet and lwj closes his eyes against the news

i think he's upset he's placed his brother in this position...

now we're informed that there are active puppets in the burial mounds

lxc is like, well it can't be wwx bc he was stabbed

and jgy is like he's been stabbed before and controlled puppets alright then!

meanwhile wwx behind the screen scoffs and thinks "they think too highly of me"

also, like, jgy was trying to get lxc to give them up by saying how lwj would be safe bc of his great reputation

Honestly, it really just goes to show that these people don't actually care about your actions. they've made their assumptions and they'll stick to them no matter what and IT'S SUPER FRUSTRATING

plot talk plot talk sworn trio moment plot talk

now lxc is off to carp tower while our boys prepare for a field trip to the burial mounds

LIL APPLE AND THE BUNNIES!!

our boys are by a stream and there's bunnies all over the place and wwx is telling lil apple they're leaving

~THEIR SONG~ STARTS UP AGAIN

AHHHHHHHHH, LOOOK!!! THERE’S TEENY TINY SMILE ON LWJ'S FACE AS HE PUTS DOWN BICHEN TO PICK UP ONE OF THE BUNNIES

EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE

WWX GETS THAT LITTLE MISCHIEVOUS SMILE ON HIS FACE AS HE GOES TO POKE THE BUNNY

AND HE MAKES SILLY NOISES AT IT AND IS ALL INSULTED THAT THE BUNNY DOESN'T REACT

SO CUTE!!

wwx: see? they only like you *pout* they're only loyal to their owner

so lwj wordlessly hands over the bunny BC IF HIS SOULMATE WANTS BUNNIES, HIS SOULMATE IS GETTING BUNNIES

the bunny wriggles and wwx is like "don't try to run. you can never run away from me. stay here bunny!"

IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE

HE'S JUST PETTING THE BUNNY ALL OVER AND USING A PLAYFUL VOICE WHILE TALKING TO IT AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL

Don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny

wwx looks over to lwj: lan zhan, it's so strange. i know we're going on a dangerous mission but i don't feel scared at all

then he goes back to the bunny and wiggles it around SO CUTELY: do you think it's strange too? what do you think?

AND HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST SMILE

lwj: it's getting late. let's go

wwx: okay *pets bunny* little bunny, we're leaving~

THIS SHOW SHOULD ONLY EVER BE ABOUT BUNNIES, I'VE DECIDED

BUNNIES DON'T HURT ME 

now we cut to them at the entrance of the cloud recesses

lil apple is being stubborn and the bunnies are on the steps

wwx: they hate to see you go.

and wwx looks at lwj all playfully

wwx: i never thought that hanguang jun would be so popular among the little animals

and then he finishes with AN ADORABLE LITTLE POUT: bc i'm not

lwj: why not?

wwx: all little animals regardless of their habitat run when they see me. isn't that right lil apple? *proceeds to bully the donkey*

lwj: *walks off bc he does not condone animal abuse or smth*

wwx: wait for me hanguang jun!!

NOW WE'RE ON A DIRT PATH

LWJ IS HOLDING THE LIL APPLE'S LEAD WHILE WWX RIDES LIL APPLE

HE’S PLAYING HIS FLUTE AND THEN STARTS PLAYING ~THEIR SONG~!!!!

AND LWJ LOOKS TOWARDS HIM HIS EYES ALL TENDER AND FULL OF LOVE

WWX IS SMILING WHILE HE PLAYS

EVERYTHING IS STILL WONDERFUL

LWJ HAS ONE OF HIS ALMOST-SMILES ON HIS FACE

wwx: lan zhan, i wanna know, back in the murder turtle cave, what was the name of the song you sang to me?

lwj: why do you ask?

wwx: just tell me the name. i think i've figured out how you recognized me

wwx: tell me what song it is. who's the composer?

lwj: me

wwx: so you composed it?!

lwj: hm

wwx: what's the name then?

THIS IS SUCH A CAREFREE PLEASANT CONVERSATION AND I LOVE IT

lwj: what do you think?

wwx: you're asking my opinion?

he gets this huge smile on his face and giggles

wwx: i think i'll call it...

lwj: i'm thirsty, let's look for water

IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT LWJ

they find a random house and wwx proceeds to steal a melon

but they're interrupted so they hide like the CRIMINALS THEY ARE lol

and we see mr & mrs mianmian with little mianmian!!

mr mianmian is all if you run off again the yiling patriarch will eat you!

little mianmian is like I'M NOT SCARED, mama says the yiling patriarch doesn’t bully good people

and that's how mianmian and her husband and daughter get guaranteed invites to their future wedding

we cut to wwx and lwj 

wwx is nodding enthusiastically like THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE, IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT'S ACKNOWLEDGED

ohhhhh really liking how mianmian draws her sword and demands the criminals to show themselves

Lol, she's like WHO'S THERE? and wwx literally answers, UM, NO ONE??

lwj purses his lips like, really?? and comes out of hiding

Mianmian is shocked to find hanguang jun hiding on her property obvs, but is also excited to recognize wwx

wwx: *internally* why does this lady know me?? did she have a problem with me or did i provoke her??

then wwx recognizes her!! he's very excited about it!

and we end the episode on a high note there!!

We get to see the only functional, happy (and alive) marriage in the entire cultivation world!!

And yeah, we got our hearts torn out by kid!lwj but we were rewarded with soft domesticity AND bunnies right after!!!

Overall good quality wangxiantics

Return to Masterpost

[lostinspidey]

hi there!!! i’m like super really sick and feel all yucky and reading your stuff while i’ve been cooped up has helped a bunch. could i request a stark!reader and peter blurb where tony keeps catching them making out and makes a joke like “are you having sex with my daughter parker?” and then it’s all quiet and your both like “... shit” and idk if you’ve seen spider-man w andrew garfield but tht scene where he pulls gwen to him with his webs??? yeah.... that (hs too?)

the compound is quiet.

in retrospect, it’s probably too quiet. typically your ears are able to pick up on some sort of noise - nat and clint playfully bickering down the hall or steve blending one of his protein shakes in the kitchen. 

but tonight, perched at a table in your father’s lab, there’s none of that. just the sound of you and peter flipping through the pages of your math textbook, broken up by bits of playful conversation and stealing from each other’s stash of snacks.

“pete,” you pipe up. “are we the only ones here?”

he’s sitting at the other end of the table, diligently copying a list of equations into his notebook. he looks up at you after finishing off a series of numbers and letters, one of your twizzlers dangling from the corner of his mouth. 

“i dunno,” he says. “are we?”

“it’s just… it’s quiet, don’t you think? maybe everyone went out for dinner?”

“could be.” he shrugs. “i mean, usually someone comes into the lab to bother us by now.”

you nod slowly. peter stands up, a smile making its way onto his lips as he walks towards you. the look in his eye makes you bashfully look away, cheeks already hot and flustered.

“so…” he eventually says. “we’re alone, huh?”

you set your pencil down, perch your chin against your hand. “in my father’s lab, peter? really?”

“what? i - no! i just want a kiss. please?”

you finally manage to peer up at him, at the endearing pull of his brow and the puppy dog look in his eye that he’s managed to master in an impressively short amount of time. not that you need much convincing.

you inch forward in your seat, tilting your head up towards him with a sly smile. “well, why didn’t you just say so?” you ask.

peter leans in slowly, closing the gap between you for a kiss that’s too short and too sweet. he seems a little surprised when you lull him back in, your hands eagerly holding onto the front of his shirt while his make their way to the sides of your face, pulling you in closer. deeper. it’s probably a bit strange, you think, that his kisses still feel this nice, even after all this time.

eventually he pulls away, and your eyes snap open at the realization that you and peter just kissed. in your father’s lab. the one place you’re sure he’d be the least happy with.

“thank god the security cameras are off,” you breathe.

peter chuckles at the look on your face, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. “shoot, i was hoping we could rewatch that later.”

“peter!”

“i’m kidding!”

you bite down on your lip to keep from grinning too hard, then press another tiny kiss against the corner of his mouth. “if we’re gonna do this, maybe we should -”

“ahem.”

the two of you jump in unison. you fight the urge to groan, unwillingly meeting the gaze that is staring you down from the doorway. your father stands with his eyebrows raised, eyes flickering between you and peter, unable to determine who deserves the brunt of his anger.

peter’s hands slip from your face, his arms falling back down to his sides, but it’s too late. however much of that your father saw, it was enough for him to learn the truth.

you clear your throat, trying - and failing - to add a little nonchalance to your voice. “hey dad!”

“was there a bug in her eye, pete?”

of course he’d settle on your poor, innocent boyfriend. if your cheeks weren’t burning before, they sure as hell are now. 

peter wrinkles his nose, risking a glance down at you. “i - what?”

“was there a bug in my daughter’s eye?” he crosses his arms. “is that why you were standing so close to her?”

peter opens his mouth to respond, closes it, then opens it again, staring at your father with his face frozen in fear. 

you push your chair out and stand up, making sure to leave enough space between the two of you. “we thought you went out, dad.”

“we did. team dinner. brought you back from shawarma.” he brings up one of his hands, revealing a carryout bag. “although, i can see the two of you have already had plenty.”

“dad -”

“time to go, pete.” he waves peter over, casting you a look of disapproval. “we’ll talk about this tonight, alright y/n?”

you let out a sigh, nodding your head despite the fact that you don’t want to. despite the fact that it means you’ll probably never get to be alone with peter in the lab anymore, because it’s pretty clear that, no, there wasn’t a bug in your eye. if you try to come up with an excuse right now - with a flustered peter standing next to you - the truth will come out eventually.

peter’s quick to pack up his stuff, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. however, he stops in his tracks once he leaves the table, glancing over his shoulder at you. 

peter, no.

“mr. stark?” he says.

“are you sure you wanna explain yourself right now, spiderling?”

“i was the one who kissed y/n.”

you latch onto peter’s arm, eyes wide as saucers. “peter, what are you -”

“she tried to tell me we shouldn’t kiss in your lab. uh, multiple times, actually. but i didn’t listen.”

your father keeps his arms crossed, blinking once at peter. he takes this as a sign to continue, speaking with a newfound sense of confidence.

“but i wouldn’t have kissed her if i didn’t have feelings for her, mr. stark. genuine feelings. and i know we’re young and we may not know what genuine feelings are just yet, but i can assure you i haven’t felt this way about anybody besides aunt may.”

he stops when he notices you and your father exchange confused glances. “n-not like - ew. i mean that i care a lot about her. i feel like i wanna… protect her. does that make sense?”

your dad’s still staring at peter when he finishes speaking, nurturing a silence that gets more and more uncomfortable as the seconds tick by. then, right when you swear you can see his gaze start to soften, he turns around, motioning for you all to follow him.

“come on. eat your shawarma in the living room where i can keep my eye on you and then maybe i’ll let peter stay.”

beside you, peter lets out a breath of relief. “yes, sir.”

you catch your dad’s eye before he leaves, mouthing a small thank you. you realize he’ll still want to talk later - probably when pepper gets home from work - but to say you expected this would be a bit of an understatement. your dad’s always been a hopeless romantic, but never when it comes to you. go figure.

he disappears back down the hallway, but before you can follow him, you feel something strong pulling against the back of your shirt, whipping you around and planting you inches away from peter. 

“whoa!”

you practically fall into him, and he helps you catch your balance, smiling that same smile from just moments ago.

this time, you immediately smile back, curling your fingers around the web shooters on his wrists. “you gave that whole speech, and you still wanna try to kiss me in my dad’s lab?”

“who said i wanna kiss you?” he teases, lips already grazing yours. 

you roll your eyes. “thought your feelings for me were genuine.”

“shut up.”

peter laughs, and now you’re the one who leans in, planting your lips sweetly against his to show him that your feelings are genuine, too. his arms slide around your waist, pulling your torsos together, and you nearly forget all about what just happened until -

“thin ice, you two!” your dad’s voice booms from down the hall, causing the two of you to jump out of each other’s arms. “thin ice!”

“coming, mr. stark!” peter yells back. all you can do cover your mouth to keep from laughing, thinking that if thin ice isn’t the same thing as broken, and you and peter both feel a certain way about each other, maybe that’s enough for it all to be okay.

[noddytheornithopod]

So I’m in chapter 3 and WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NOW A CULT???

So... what’s up with the meteors? How does this relate to everything? Seriously, if this ties to my tragedy theory then what even is this? Did Kazuichi engineer meteors or something to hit the Earth??? Also... translators, why the fuck did you need to use “invalid” to mean disabled people? That’s pretty fucking ableist. Even if the equivalent was still in Japanese (which is still BS of course, ableism should never be tolerated, don’t make me go Monodam on you)

Okay so everyone’s now suspicious of Maki, but Kaito wants to see the best in everyone so he believes that there’s more to her than just being an assassin.

Holy shit, so Monodam not only killed his fellow Monokubs, but now he launches a coup and disposes Monokuma from running things. Now Monokuma is just a silent husk of his former self. :v Honestly it’s intriguing but also hilarious. Monodam wants everyone to just get along, but he’s now forcing it. Poor guy was obviously treated like shit by the others (especially Monokid of course), so he clearly wants revenge and thus is on his power trip. He almost sounds like he doesn’t want the killing to continue, but I can’t tell TBH. To you I say... Monodam is still best Monokub.

Tsumugi... you’re rude to Gonta for saying he’s suddenly a coward and you make a comment about scary asylums full of “lunatics”... don’t test me young lady, you already made perverted comments, don’t push it.

Lol, the empty rooms have the ghosts of Monokuma and the dead Monokubs.

Okay, Kiyo seems like he’s orgasming at the stuff in the anthropology lab. Also his threat to Kokichi was amazing. But yeah, that was fun. Also wow, stuff talking about communicating with the dead, that’s creepy... and Shuichi even has a brief moment of “well I WOULD like to talk to Kaede”.

Angie’s lab was I guess a thing. I’m sure the locking will come to play in the murder. Oddly not much to say here, unlike about Miss Yonaga herself as you’ll see...

Okay this fourth floor in general is pretty creepy, but in a cool way (not like a CERTAIN SOMEONE I’ll get to). The computer was something, IDK what that was about, though I guess the “new world” aspect does sound like the Neo-World. Wonder what the heck this is gonna mean in the future.

So Tenko has a lab now, and she can train there, cool. Also wow, she got real for a second.

Okay so... what the fuck was that Miu and Keebo scene? Like yeah it seems like Miu was cleaning Keebo, but they were also clearly attracted to each other. It almost looked like an actual sex scene (or was it actually one?)???

So the memory flashlight only shows that weird funeral we saw in chapter 2, but now with everyone instead of just Kaede. From what I’m guessing, the whole “erasing their memories to live normal lives” thing required them all to fake their deaths and that’s what the funeral is about. IDK why they’re all together, were they all a class before? Were they just remaining Ultimates? Did they all fake their deaths in the same event? Of course, this could be more deception too...

Okay wow, Kaito is really concerned about Maki. He brings her out to train with him and Shuichi, and even though she resists for a bit, she decides to give in. She doesn’t stay around for long, but it’s something.

Okay so the morning... we still get a motive, though is this now all to get along given Monodam is in control? Or are we still doing the killing game? Anyway... this motive claims to allow resurrection of the dead, specifically one of their four classmates.

Okay so... ANGIE WHAT THE FUCK? When I noticed Tsumugi mention Atua I got suspicious, but then Keebo mentioned Atua too... and then we see fucking Tenko has joined them too. Angie then seduces Gonta with her shit and welp. Now half of the class has been brainwashed into Angie’s “student council” (read: Atua cult). Tsumugi, you’re no longer fave, you’re cancelled for being an Angie puppet! :v

So it seems like Angie seduced them all. Gonta is simple and believes whatever is told to him, Himiko needed someone to look up to, Tsumugi feels insecure and plain so a “higher purpose” probably is seductive sounding, Keebo sounded jealous that Miu was with the New World computer more than him so Angie used that to convince him that authoritarianism was best for stability. Tenko I’m not so sure about, but it feels like she wanted to be with Himiko so gave in. And of course, they’re all trapped in the school so Angie’s alternative idea might be appealing.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually like Kokichi a lot more now. I’ll take the annoying prick over the creepy cult! Obviously as a liar he sees through Angie’s BS. As annoying as he can be, he certainly knows his shit and of course is fun to try and deduct what he’s up to. Kiyo as an anthropologist would also know how cults work and see their BS. Miu is too sciencey, and you could argue Kaito is too but for him it also becomes more about the rampant authoritarianism they bring now as well as him not wanting to give up and truly survive (which Kaede also helped inspire in him). Maki and Shuichi also feel the same (as do the others, Kaito is just really strong in his love of freedom), but Shuichi also feels indebted to Kaede to get everyone out alive.

I also tried a free time with Kokichi, but I fucked it up. I guess Shuichi did briefly learn a bit about how people brainwash others though. :v

Because I hate myself, I saw the goddamn man’s fantasy scene. It becomes even more uncomfortable when you realise this is Angie’s organising. Monokuma showing up was funny though.

Kaito feels really uneasy, I’m not sure if it’s just the cult stuff or also the idea of resurrecting the dead. Maybe he wants to resurrect Kaede, and despite how scary and impossible he finds the idea he can’t get the idea out of his head?

So because Tsumugi is cancelled, I am now hanging out with my weird anthropology buddy Kiyo. His free times are still pretty interesting with the anthropology stuff, though him mentioning his sister and how she inspired him was a nice backstory. Also if she’s only friends with girls, is that a part of why he makes himself look and act so effeminate?

Kaito doesn’t even go out to train at night. I’m worried about him. Maki actually comes with Shuichi and they just do it together themselves. From the sounds of it, Maki didn’t choose to become an assassin, but was made to be one, and now feels detached from her humanity as a result. It’s also why she’s so good at pushups, lol.

Okay wow, the council stopping Maki was really creepy. As if the prejudice wasn’t enough towards her, Angie’s authoritarian streak now forbids anyone going out at night. If she was annoying before, I now hate her.

Well the morning was really creepy. The student council announces their preparations for resurrection, and it sounds like they’re even considering human sacrifices. Yeah, we’re getting pretty out there.

So the Monokubs bring a memory light to try and create some peace... but Angie destroys it. Of course her minions agree with her because their council is organised so that Atua decides everything... and as point it out, it just means Angie is running everything. Kaito is mega pissed off (also because the exit hole is blocked off, but this is the last straw), and honestly I feel him.

Monodam, Angie stopped them from getting along by destroying the flashlight. I’m just saying, you COULD punish her, maybe whip out the Exisals or something... YES I WANT ANGIE TO DIE, SHE’S REACHED A POSITION ONLY TERUTERU HAS: “I hate you with all my guts and I hope you die.”

I’m up to the free times now, but gosh, things were so intense I had to stop. Cults and brainwashing like this really get under my skin. Like, if Angie were simply a creepy cult leader, I wouldn’t hate her as much... but she’s clearly Polynesian. So basically: not only do we have a racial stereotype of someone who acts simple and naively kind and a whole host of other Polynesian and Indigenous stereotypes... but now she’s deceptive and untrustworthy, sucking people into her cult to grow power for herself. Seriously, fuck Angie, and fuck her creators for thinking it’s acceptable to have your resident foreigner for the game be a Polynesian who’s weird, primitive and now obsessively religious to the point of authoritarianism and brutality.

Okay, so... where will things go from here? I’m not even sure at this rate. Angie is obviously going to play a central role in the next case. Whether she’s murdered or is the murder is a question though, though if you look at Mikan revealing she had Despair Disease and remembered her Despair self and Celeste being found out as Taeko Yasuhiro, I won’t be surprised if Angie is the killer. It’s arguably predictable, but it’s satisfying too. :V Because I mean, Angie is clearly using the Atua religion as a means to gain power for herself, and in the first investigation Kaede when talking to her notes that her religion sounds like some kind of scam, I forget the exact lines but I think it mentioned guys on the internet too? So basically: Angie’s a hack and she’s gonna be exposed.

That being said, Angie WOULD be predictable as the killer like I said. I COULD see Kaito snapping and killing her as a self sacrifice on his behalf just to remind everyone of what Kaede wanted and that giving up isn’t living (wow, that’s like Makoto at the end of the first game... but with dying).

So the third chapter is always the double murder one... but worst case scenario: we get a Jonestown massacre situation. Not just two murders, but as many as five: I’d be surprised if we went that far, but the worst case scenario is Angie ordering her followers to kill themselves for the resurrection ritual to work. Of course, if they’re not ruled as suicides then that’s a problem - I’m PRETTY sure the two or more rule was in it, but I admit I’m not entirely sure, so maybe there’s leeway. Regardless, we’re in dangerous waters. I mean, Angie DID mention human sacrifice as a possibility. Maybe Angie could also order the defiant ones to be killed because they’re disturbing the peace (in other words, she makes the others kill FOR her), I mean this IS a clear allegory for the dogma of organised religion and even authoritarianism in general. It’s literally a cult.

Also like the second game, people’s minds are being fucked with in the third chapter, it’s just now someone instead of something. :v

So... what if the whole resurrecting the dead thing is just bullshit? What if it’s just to see how far someone would go to do this, even if it means killing someone? And of course this would be a failure of getting along, so Monodam will be mega pissed off, and the blackened failed the test.

That being said, what if the resurrection IS real? Obviously there will be a weird explanation for it (maybe the New World computer ties to it, especially if it’s a Neo-World thing?), but Rantaro being back would obviously be a big deal. That being said, what if instead of him it’s Kaede who comes back? Angie dismissed her as a murderer, but Kaede just got her target wrong and fucked up. And I mean, I’m sure Shuichi and Kaito would be happy to see her at least (provided they can believe she’s really back).

Angie and Monodam share interesting parallels. They claim to want the same thing, but their methods are different. Monodam is taking control through fear, while Angie brainwashes people into following her with promises of love and peace. That being said, Monodam, please take care of Angie. She IS the core of why they’re not getting along. ;P

[littlehollyleaf]

GOTHAM S05E04 “Ruin”

okay listen I know other stuff happened in this episode and it was even stuff I enjoyed and was interested in (like - WTF jeremiah??!) but I don’t have time to talk about any of that when there is SO.MUCH.FOXMA.AWESOMENESS to squee over (and you can’t say I didn’t warn you)

fyi - I’ve incorporated MULTIPLE VISUAL AIDS to assist in my flail!

let’s start by going through my FOXMA WISHLIST because there is WAY MORE to check off it that I thought possible in one hit!

Touching - bonus points if it’s beyond practical, like Foxy resting a hand on Eddie’s arm to offer comfort or Eddie gripping Foxy to emotionally steady himself

they flunked on the bonus points but still, FUCKING CHECK!

and you know what? I’m awarding A WHOLE SET OF DIFFERENT BONUS POINTS for Luscious Lucius Fucking ‘down boy I’m in charge’ Fox fucking MANHANDLING ED LIKE IT’S NOTHING because it’s EVERYTHING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE and didn’t even think to put on the list omgomg!

like... I’ve seen a TON of fic and fanart with Foxy being physically dominant with Ed and I do think it makes all the sense characterisation-wise, but for some reason I’d never properly envisioned/embraced it as part of their ship/dynamic (perhaps because in my one and only fic I had Eddie being more dominating when it came to physical stuff due to various contextual reasons... or maybe because we’ve never actually seen Foxy get physical with anyone in canon before, aside from wacking Alvarez with that chair that time, after which he looked frazzled as opposed to the glorious calm and in control he is here so it didn’t really convey his ability to be so.... UNF. while physically taking charge...   idk)

(god I could watch this gif all day honestly....)

(it’s the way Foxy doesn’t hesitate, he’s just - BAM! I’m in control now)

(and juxtapositioned with Eddie’s epic flailing so they are just so perfectly, beautifully opposed)

(then the way Eddie, on seeing it’s Foxy, JUST.FUCKING.TAKES.IT, his fear and flailing dropping all at once as he submits and just holds himself all still and expectant under the hold, clearly THRILLED it’s Foxy who’s found him)

(and Foxy is only using his GODDAMN FINGERTIPS FOR FUCKS SAKE, so firm and commanding with so little effort I just - *fans self*)

(shit we’re only on point one and I’ve spent forever - strap in everyone!) 

Speaking in tandem - ie. figuring out the same thing simultaneously and excitedly shouting out the answer together 

Actually the talking in tandem one is really important to me so I’m adding it again

Okay the talking in tandem doesn’t have to be them figuring out the same thing, it could just be them reacting the same way to something and discovering they are like-minded

FUCKING CHECK!! The one thing I WANTED THE MOST, SO MUCH I PUT IT ON MY LIST THREE WHOLE TIMES. FUCKING CHECK??! ALREADY??!

Lucius: Unless whatever ignited those heated oil tanks - Together: - smashed through that window

(guys pls though look at the above travesty, I only have MSPaint, for the love of god someone gif this??)

I really can’t... there aren’t words for how ecstatic I am about this! 

I was watching with my good friend @enchantersnight, who will attest that I squealed and grabbed her in excitement (which she took with good grace considering she didn’t even know about The List, so must have thought I was just being a mad woman for no reason :p)

And the way they both wave their hand at the window together. And Foxy’s little satisfied nod because he’s not thinking of Ed as a criminal in that moment, all he’s thinking is ‘fuck yeah we just cracked it.’ And they both turn their heads all synchronised because they are so perfectly on the same wavelength, so completely lost in solving the mystery, the parts of themselves that match are so beautifully ALIGNED! 

Showing how they are similar people in many ways - check and check!   

Foxy telling Ed he is a genius and pleading with him to use his intellect for the greater good

K, we’re not all the way there, but HALF A CHECK, because -

Plus he explicitly said he needed Ed’s ‘expertise.’ All of which amounts to acknowledging (and appreciating!) Ed’s genius, so -! *hearts eyes*

(this set covers it perfectly XD)

...and there is still time for Foxy to plead with Ed to use his genius for good *crosses fingers*

Eddie calling Foxy ‘Lucius’ just the once as part of a serious, emotionally charged moment

Not really what I was going for (I was thinking more Ed yelling his name out of fear for Foxy, or as a desperate plea for Foxy to help him), but A+ for effort for Eddie’s wild yell for ‘Lucius’ here -

Because I love the fact that Eddie was so caught up in working the case at this point that he wanted to keep helping even without personal incentive :)

(aside: Eddie you bad bad bad man killing that innocent old lady though, that was really NOT NECESSARY, pls! ...but it was also somewhat hilarious, in a black comedy kind of way :p 

see - THAT’S the level of villainy/immorality I’m happy for Eddie to exist in, killing/torturing/maiming individuals, even innocent ones, yes, cool, because Eddie IS NOT A GOOD PERSON... but... not killing hundreds of innocents, including CHILDREN, in one hit, that’s... that’s a different kind of villainy, you know?)

One/either thinking the other is dead and being relieved to learn they are alive

Again, not quite. But Foxy does comment in the filing room that he thought Ed was dead. No, he doesn’t show any kind of relief that Eddie ISN’T, but since it’s now canon that Foxy somehow learnt of Ed’s supposed demise this opens up avenues for plenty of headcanons :) 

Because - WHEN did Foxy hear that Ed was dead? and HOW? and even WHY? Was he ACTIVELY LOOKING for news on Ed because he personally WANTED TO KNOW? Did it MATTER to Foxy if Ed was alive or dead? Did he feel a pang of sorrow/regret on hearing the news at the fate of a man he saw potential in to be better and wished that somehow Ed’s life could have been different?

(look, Occam’s Razor suggests Jim was probably looking for news on Lee and heard back that both she and Eddie died in the Narrows and THAT’S how Foxy heard about Ed’s death, but SSSSHHHH - I’m gonna imagine Foxy was making quiet enquiries for himself and no-one can stop me!)

PHEW!

We made it to the end of the points on my Wishlist that got fulfilled. 

KUDOS SHOW

Now - let’s talk about THE OTHER STUFF that was amazing!

Like -

Lucius RELEASING ED and HOLDING HIM IN PLACE JUST BY POINTING A FINGER AT HIM LIKE FUUUUCK!

And again there’s no fucking hesitation. The SHEER CONFIDENCE Foxy has that he CAN AND WILL exert this much power over Ed just. Wow. Just wow.

...there’s something interesting to make of this maybe actually...because Foxy...wasn’t this...commanding, with Ed before. No he was never intimidated, but during the whole riddle crime spree and the confrontation with Harvey on the stairwell Foxy was... nervous around Ed? Like Ed was a live wire or dangerous animal, someone Foxy found a little UNPREDICTABLE and thus was less firm and more pleading with? But NOW... 

okay, the stakes are different here ofc - before there were lives on the line and Foxy’s interaction with Ed was the one thing that could save them, so that pressure would have made him hesitant to try and take control...

yeah, that’s it isn’t it - Ed needs a viable threat in order to exert power/control over Foxy (and anyone really)

but without that threat the balance of power absolutely lies with Foxy (so obviously here, with Eddie unarmed and in such a state of disarray! but was also true in that scene with them at the GCPD lab when Eddie was investigating the Red Hood Gang)

Then also EDDIE’S.FUCKING.SMILE!! 

Anyone else displaying this much power over him, exposing his vulnerability, his ‘inadequacies’ (so Eddie might see it), would surely make Eddie furious, scared even perhaps - he might rail against them, scowl, try to fight or run. 

But here with Foxy he just FUCKING SMILES. He is so GODDAMN HAPPY to have been caught by FOXY. He doesn’t try to fight or escape because HE WANTS TO HAVE A MOMENT WITH FOXY, he WANTS TO BANTER. Because, dare I say, he LIKES BEING IN FOXY’S POWER??

Likewise when Foxy busts out the blackmail THIS is Eddie’s reaction

THIS -

Just look at him he’s FUCKING DELIGHTED that Foxy has been smart enough to immediately suss out Ed’s desire for the file is something he can exploit.

And then the way he kinda gleefully tries to figure out what Foxy could possibly want from him - I ADORE IT. 

Because it’s become a GAME to Eddie now ofc - he and Foxy playing off each other. 

And it’s a delicious blend of Foxy being all controlling and also flippant in the way he talks to Ed, thus him gently leading Ed into taking it this way, and also Eddie’s clear respect and personal interest in Foxy making him inclined to put a positive spin on the situation, to find it enjoyable. And like... it doesn’t feel esp planned or manipulative on Foxy’s part? Their reactions to each other just feel... genuine? Obviously Foxy IS trying to convince Ed to help him but... the way he speaks to him and looks at him... it just feels like Foxy being NATURAL with Ed to me? Like, he’s not spending all the time carefully choosing his words and behaviour, calculating what he needs to do to win Ed over, he’s just... going with the flow? Reacting to Ed... in the way he WANTS to, and Ed is doing the same? 

Sure they’ve both got end goals they want to achieve, but during their banter those almost seem secondary, just for moment, to the mutual enjoyment they are getting from their interaction?

And yes, mutual - look at this and tell me Foxy isn’t having fun as well!

Other great things about this scene -

Eddie calling Foxy ‘the second smartest man in Gotham’ <3 <3 Absolute proof he respects Foxy’s intellect :D

Eddie trying to surprise grab the file from Foxy’s hands. Because LOL. Foxy’s dry ‘...why?’ and shake of his head at Eddie’s childish antics totally makes it! Plus the way Eddie makes one last half-hearted grab before his eventual ‘fine.’ 

@vampirebillionaire pointed out it’s kinda crazy Eddie was able to physically capture a Street Demon thug, but can’t muster enough strength to yank a file from a scientist :p 

I like your suggestion, Daisy, that this adds to the ‘mind controlled Eddie’ theory - ie. when Eddie is under the influence he becomes more physically capable perhaps.

May I also suggest another possibility - that the file grab was just for show? Because Eddie desperately WANTS to team up with Foxy for a bit. But he has to convince himself it is absolutely his ONLY OPTION in order to do so? Because Eddie is a confused and repressed and psychologically mixed up prawn and can’t accept just wanting to work with Foxy just because. Plus a blackmail scenario/game has already been established. So to Eddie’s mind the only way that makes sense for him to work with Foxy in this moment is for Foxy’s blackmail to hold up. Meaning before Eddie can agree he has to establish that he CANNOT get the file by other means? Hence all the huffing and puffing and extra lunge at the end - it’s all him adding to the pretence?

...idk it’s prob too involved for what the show was actually going for, but it crossed my mind :p Felt like ‘Riddler logic’ you know? And involves a bit of theatrics, and Eddie lying to himself...

Anyway, the other PHENOMENAL THING about this scene -

I am given and I am taken, 

I was there from your first breath 

and I will follow you until your death

You know, that riddle for ‘name’ that clever fandom people cleverly extracted from the voice over line in that dramatic pre-S05 promo? (’I will follow you until your death’) The one that lots of us were taken by because of the vague, possible nygmobblepot associations? (and some of us, ahem, one of us, even used to title a fic), but that was also suspected to be a possible exchange between Ed and a hallucinatory version of himself - maybe being about how the name and/or persona of ‘Riddler’ has been with Ed all along and will be part of him until he dies.

WELL TURNS OUT EDDIE SAYS THAT RIDDLE TO FOXY CAN YOU BELIEVE??

I mean, look, I know it’s just a riddle for plot purposes. But that doesn’t change the fact that Eddie, CANONICALLY, stands there, INCHES from Foxy -

STARING DEEPLY INTO HIS EYES, voice slightly whispery and husky

and he tells him

I WILL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOUR DEATH

I Just -

And they fucking end liKE THIS GUYS -

Literally POINTING AT FOXY LIKE HE’S MAKING A PROMISE?? (and oh shit I just thought is he pointing at Foxy’s HEART?? ...also does this technically fit my bonus point for touching? hotdamn)

And look at Foxy’s smile! Yeah it’s mocking but... maybe in a FOND way??

All - ‘name, the answer’s ‘name’ Ed, but you had to make a song and dance out of it didn’t you, you dork?’

*dreamy sigh*

Other stuff -

Eddie investigating the crime scene and working it all out was some GENUINE PI RIDDLER SHIT right there *swoon*

I love the way Foxy just steps back and lets Ed get on with it. I flail over Eddie showing his respect for Foxy, but there was real respect in Foxy for Ed here, which was beautiful <3

On the rooftop - *hearts* over Eddie genuinely praising Foxy for figuring out it was the exact spot of the shooting from angles etc, showing he CLEARLY rates Foxy’s intelligence very high :) Only for Foxy to admit that he worked it out because he noticed the weapon’s casing had been left behind :p (which - SLOPPY of blacked out Ed now I think about it?). That was both a fun gag, lightly highlighting how Eddie sometimes misses the obvious and reaches for the most complex option when a much simpler one is on hand (making his advice to Oswald way back when about how sometimes the simpler solution is best really just... lolz... take your own advice Eddie, pls), as well as, I think, maybe hinting that Eddie really may be SMARTER than Foxy on a purely intellectual level - because it was potentially suggesting that Foxy could ONLY tell it was the right place because of the weapon case and might not have been able, at least as fast, to have worked out the angles etc like Eddie did. Maybe...

Eddie telling Foxy in complete seriousness that he hopes Foxy finds the criminal and makes them pay - playing out just like I hoped in the tags over here after seeing the Eddie preview clip of the episode, yes win!

(#holly you're an idiot going to the gcpd is how ed is gonna team up with foxy it's an excellent plan!!! #...I bet that 'make them pay' line in the trailer fits here #ed is talking about helping foxy found the haven bomber and how they should make them pay #but ~plot twist Eddie - it was you!! #yus I like that #pls be true!)

aside: Foxy now has that weapon case and is going to see if it has clues as to the perpetrator - Eddie thinks it won’t but I wonder... while blacked out Eddie left himself a message... I wonder if it’s possible he may have left the weapon case on purpose in the HOPE that he will be found out? that someone will catch him and put a stop to him being mind controlled??

...in any case, this opens up the possibility of Foxy finding out the shooter was Ed and OMG I HAVE ~HOPES AND DREAMS ABOUT THAT

In my hopes and dreams Foxy simply DOES.NOT.BELIEVE that Eddie would/could have committed such a crime, at least not willingly. And especially since Ed literally helped him solve the crime and he saw and heard Ed be GENUINELY affected by the crime enough to want the criminal to pay - and yes, sure, Ed could have been playing him and faking that, getting a kick out of giving Foxy clues to his own crime, but Foxy just feels sure Ed was being honest on that rooftop, that he really didn’t seem to know he was responsible, and it convinces Foxy there is something much more sinister going on here...

*CROSSES FINGERS TIGHT*

(omg - we know Babs gets Eddie at some point... WHAT IF Foxy ends up trying to save Eddie from her??! UGH IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN BUT WHAT A DREAM! Foxy could even go to Oswald maybe to get help saving Ed, maybe providing evidence that Ed is in fact innocent... and in doing so he frees Ozzie from any personal anguish he might be suffering due to believing that Eddie really did commit the crime perhaps? even less likely, but I’m gonna roll with it for now :p)

Right one last thing. I did also have on my wishlist a proviso of the ‘talking in tandem’ thing -

When they talk in tandem they have to finish smiling at each other

Obviously this didn’t happen (POINTS DEDUCTED!!). 

But then, we did get THIS as their final moment so ALL IS FORGIVEN -

In conclusion

I am dead

Gotham?

(here’s hoping for the remainder of the Wishlist in their next episode together! :p)

[jinmukangwrites]

I’m not sure how this bad things happen bingo is supposed to work..... but can we get a newly-struck-out-on-his-own teenage nightwing getting held up by his neck?

X/done diamond/next fire/requested

@badthingshappenbingo

Sorry I took forever, and also sorry in advance of this chapter isn't as great as the others. I hit a major writing block on this one for some reason (hense why I took forever) but I pushed through it. I think it's okay, idk, whatever, I almost kill Dick again so it's all good.

I'll add a keep reading when I get to my laptop.

Also look! I have a bingo coming up!!!!! Yay!!!

-o-o-o-o-

Nightwing landed hard but silent at the top of a metal structure by the dockside. The moon had rose to its highest point and the cool night air, air that was somehow colder than Gotham, breezed past, ruffling his loose hair and sinking through his suit. Below where he perched were a group of classic baddies doing classic baddie business. He watched silently as one hefted a box into a shipping container and another marked a tally on a clipboard.

He didn't know what were packed into those boxes being loaded, but he did know that the man leading the operation wouldn't be taking charge of innocent boxes of cereal. No, Gave Jones—a leading force in Blüdhaven's gangs that was not someone to cross unprepared—dealt in drugs.

Nightwing had been tracking Gave for the better part of a week, which is just a bit shorter than the time Dick Grayson had been in Blüdhaven. He was Dick—Nightwing's—first bad guy since he moved out of the manor, well, first actual bad guy. In the time he'd been in Blüdhaven, he'd definitely had his fair share of criminals show up during his patrols. Back in Gotham, perps got the idea pretty quickly that they had a small window to actually try to mug someone or rob a bank before Batman and Robin showed up, but in Blüdhaven it was like the purge became a reality. Corruption ran all the way to the mayor's chair and cops did nothing about it. Nightwing ran into a criminal every other street all the way into the morning, and even then crime did not sleep. It bled into the day and continued onto the next night. Crime was like a fire ant nest, you can take a couple soldiers and workers out, but they'll continue to swarm and build up until they're fighting back with a nasty bite.

But Gave wasn't a soldier or worker, more like a general. A man no one messed with, who controlled instead of worked. Not quite a queen ant, but taking him out would throw off a whole fleet.

Therefore: first bad guy of Blüdhaven.

Right now, Gave and about twelve underlings and five hired guns moved boxes too and from crates, taking things out and putting others in. Nightwing figured that whatever were in the crates was bad, and whatever they were putting back—probably as an exchange—was just as bad. If not worse. Bad guys usually sell the bad stuff rather than buy it.

Something suddenly crashed and Nightwing tensed as Gave whipped around from where he was counting goods and began to stalk with a face of murder to a young man who dropped a box that he was attempting to lug into a crate. The man whimpered before he hurriedly began to apologise profusely but Nightwing wasn't paying too much attention to that; what he was paying attention to was to the fallen crate with shattered walls, halfway laying on the ground, halfway collapsed into it. Around the cracks pooled a yellow substance that Nighting wished would just go away.

"Of course," Nightwing growled to himself quietly, "of course it's Venom."

It's like every time he and Batman get rid of it, more of it pops out somewhere, stronger and more dangerous. Civilians that use it never learn, at first they take it as an untraceable steroid, and then the addiction gets to them and they turn into raging King Kong's, the only difference is that women they kidnap don't usually end up leaving their meaty fists alive.

It looked like they were sending Venom out of the country, not in. That fact both relieved and worried Nightwing, because at least he knew it wouldn't be Blüdhaven that will be flattened by humans turned Hulk; but third world countries—where, to Nightwing's best judgement, the Venom was most likely going—were harder to infiltrate and clean up. That also meant that somewhere in Blüdhaven was a secret Venom lab that Nightwing hadn't found.

Hopefully, taking out Gave would lead him to that lab.

"How stupid are you! Are you trying to make us lose profit!" Gave was screaming, catching Nightwing's attention.

"Oh heck," Nightwing cursed himself. He was too busy glaring at Venom to notice that Gave had pulled out a gun and was ruthlessly shoving it into the chest of the man who dropped the crate. Other workers averted their eyes and continued their work as the hired guns snickered and watched the cowering man with blood thirsty eyes.

"I'm sorry!" The man sobbed.

"Do you have any idea how much this costs?" Gave snarled and Nightwing flexed his muscles when Gave's finger brushed over the trigger of his gun. "This is coming out of your paycheck!"

Nightwing watched as Gave suddenly stopped yelling and a thoughtful look appeared on his face. Nightwing instantly knew what was going to happen.

"Or, we can just eliminate your paycheck all together," Gave said with an evil smirk.

The man got a confused look, and then a look of dawning spread through his features and he attempted to back up in horror.

Okay, enough is enough, Nightwing thought with a sigh. He had been waiting for the perfect moment to make his move, but letting one casualty—even that of a criminal—slip by wouldn't make Nightwing that much of a bigger person. Ends don't justify means and all that stuff.

Gave readjusted the hold on his gun and Nightwing grabbed an escrima stick from the holsters strapped to his back—heavens above did he love his escrima sticks, definitely a step up from a pole—and launched it through the air. It whizzed and hit directly on Gave's gun hand, snapping the weapon out of his fingers and probably breaking a couple small, fragile bones. Gave screamed in pain as a shot of electricity—god he loved his escrima sticks—ran through his body, disorienting him just enough for Nightwing to remove himself from his perch and begin his attack.

He quickly dodged and hid behind a beam of metal scaffolding when one of the hired guns did the admittingly smart thing and fired in Nightwing's direction, where the stick came hurtling from out of nowhere. Nightwing saw another hired gun leave his spot and start running over, but Nightwing didn't worry too much about that guy, he was heading towards juuuust the wrong direction.

Silence fell over the group of criminals as Gave spat and hissed like a wounded alley cat, clutching at his hand and swearing up the wall.

"The fuck?!" Gave screamed finally and the man he had been previously threatening whimpered. "Was that!?!"

"I think it's that Batman wannabe," sad a hired gun that run over to Gave's side, probably to protect him for another flying stick. He was eyeing the offending stick—that was casually sitting on the asphalt like it hadn't just broken a man's hand—with distrust.

Nightwing both bristled and smirked at the recognition in the hired guns voice. Finally he was gaining a rep in Blüdhaven, but it still stung to be compared to Batman. Maybe he should just tell everyone that he used to be Robin. That'd scare em.

Gave growled unintelligently and started to command the hired guns to find "that Batman copycat" and at the workers to work faster. Nightwing squeezed himself into a nook when he saw the gun that had ran over to find him had turned in his direction. At that same moment, Gave grabbed the cowering worker with his good hand and shoved a syringe into the man's arms.

Nightwing's blood froze when Gave hissed, "make yourself useful."

"Crap."

He spun from his hiding spot and ran in the shadows directly to the hired gun. The hired gun only got to see Nightwing for a brief second before Nightwing has roadhouse kicking him over the temple. The man let out a strangled sound of surprise and then fell to the ground, knocked unconscious. Nighting continued his sprinting, jumping bar to bar until he was down on ground level, but he was too late.

The man who dropped the crate dropped the syringe onto the ground with shaking hands.

"Crap." Nightwing repeated.

The man doubled over and clutched at his stomach, erupting into a painful scream as muscles we're already rippling and growing at a gross and alarming speed. Nightwing jumped from the shadows and sprinted through the dock, alerting every criminal there to his presence in quite a spectacular way—"oh where's that Nightwing guy? Woah, he's running suddenly towards us!!!"—and jumped onto the back of the Venom infested man. He whipped out his other stick and tried to knock the guy out, but the Venom took over and the man threw Nightwing with a mighty yell that would make the Hulk jealous.

A fist that was five times the size it was a couple seconds ago knocked into Nightwing's side and sent him hurtling through the air in a similar way his escrima stick had a few minutes ago. He let out a moan when he felt his ribs give in just a bit as he spun in the air. Thankfully, he quickly orientated himself and landed—albeit sloppily—on the pavement before launching himself to the side as bullets sprayed where he had just been. The bullets ricocheted off the asphalt and kicked up bits of stone and sparks.

Nightwing flipped across the ground and grabbed his other escrima stick before taking cover behind a shipping compartment, the sound of bullets hitting metal followed him.

"GET HIM." Someone, probably Gave, screamed through the gunfire.

Nighting only had a second to catch his breath and convince his brain to ignore his jostled ribs before a hand three times the size of Nightwing's hand slammed around the corner of the container, each of its sausage like fingers sunk deep into the metal, bending it in ways that shouldn't be possible. The container was whipped aside, flying through the air and landing on the scaffolding Nightwing had been hiding at a few minutes ago and knocking the whole structure over. Nightwing barely had time to think that the Venom this time was either extremely strong or shouldn't be taken by the vial before he was back flipping out of the way of the hand belonging to the man turned monster. Metal screeched as scaffolding collapsed on itself and the monster in front of his yelled in a chaotic rage. He swung another blow and Nightwing just barely was able to bring his sticks in front of him to at least block the blow.

The force of the blow alone hurt like a mother, but Nightwing was able to force the hit to his side and the monster ended up slipping and hitting the ground with enough power to shake the ground and make a hand shaped print in the asphalt.

Nightwing didn't give the monster any time to recover before he jammed the ends of his escrima sticks into its side, feeding it enough electricity to knock out a gorilla. The monster screamed and spasmed before, in one last attempt, it the out it's arm and swatted Nightwing aside like he was a fly. The monster stumbled and fell to its knees, but Nightwing was more worried about trying to land once again without jostling his ribs that he was sure a few were broken now. He wasn't so lucky this time, he ended up rolling on the the ground quite a few times before coming to a painful stop.

Everything went silent as Nightwing did his best to not throw up.

"Is… is he dead?" Asked a voice, not Gave.

"I don't know, go check!" Ah, there is Gave.

Nightwing heard multiple pairs of footsteps begin to approach him and he went still, playing dead for the moment. A foot jammed into his side and it took all of his training to not grunt out in pain.

"He looks dead to me," the man who kicked him said. Nightwing waited a few more seconds before two more footsteps arrived. His eyes shot open and he launched his attack with a complicated spin on his hands with his legs in the air—it looked more like a hip hop move, but it was still useful for fighting. His ribs protested in pain as his feet connected with the faces of three out of four conscious hired guns and he flipped onto his feet and got into a fighting position. Because of his ribs, the move wasn't as effective as he would have liked, only knocking one of three out and making the other two stumble.

Nightwing launched his attack viciously. There were two burly looking men standing in front of him with guns they definitely knew how to use, so he had to act quickly before they got the idea to pull their triggers. Nightwing went to hit one of them with his escrima sticks and watched the other one carefully—who was standing off a bit looking pissed off.

The man—who seemed to be buff and fast—dodged to the side and went to sucker punch Nightwing's side, which Nightwing just barely managed to block with his other hand. He quickly returned attack and bitch slapped him across the jaw with his stick. The man stumbled back with a moan and Nightwing was instantly under attack from the other hired gun. He gasped as meaty arms wrapped around his middle, trying to knock him down wrestling style, but Nightwing planted his feet and grabbed his shoulders. His ribs ached with fire yet he continued to ignore it as he shoved the other man away and threw his escrima stick at the first thug who had been trying to aim his gun without hurting his partner. The gun flew out of his hand and Nightwing sprinted towards him to finish him.

The man recovered quickly, which was a sad fact about much Blüdhaven criminals. They weren't skittish like Gotham scum, but hardened criminals that really knew how to fight.

And the fight continued, a fight filled with Nightwing throwing sticks and dodging punches from two men who could be mistaken as bears.

At some point, Nightwing lost both of his Escrima sticks and his hair began to stick to his forehead. He hadn't had a fight this intense in awhile… which is why he had tried to wait for a better moment. He was using his forearms to block blows from the two men who decided to proceed onto him at the same time and slowly backing up with each blow. He growled and was just about to finally return a punch when both the men got horrified looks on their faces and backed away.

Nightwing was just able to feel a little confused before his whole upper body was encased in a giant hand.

He couldn't stop the agonized scream that escaped his lips when the hand squeezed violently before throwing him across the courtyard.

Nightwing landed hard against one of the containers, knocking every body part he had against cold metal, before he flopped down onto the ground. Before he could even take a shuddering breath, he was dragged up to his feet by the Hulk and lifted up by one hand around his neck.

Now he really wished he had that time to take a breath, and now he's being strangled when he's already out of air.

He felt blood trail down his forehead and leak over the lenses of his mask as his feet dangled helplessly below him. The monster was holding him up at arm's length, a length that was just barely out of Nightwing's kicking range. He brought his hands up to the hand around his neck and clawed as hard as he could, both trying to get out of the grasp and hold himself up by something other than his neck.

Nothing was working and his ears were ringing.

To his side, he noticed Gave poke his head out from behind a compartment—the coward—and smirk at Nightwing's. One of the hired men brushed off his hands like he did all the work.

Gave walked up to where Nightwing dangled and his grin widened. "This is the Batman copycat? Pathetic."

"He fights like he's used to someone having his back," one of the guns said.

Nightwing lost the next thing to be said in his own ringing hearing and blurring vision. He felt hot breath on his face and the hand around him felt cold as ice.

He let one hand fall to blindly search for something.

"Just finish him-" someone said through the ringing.

Where…

There.

He grabbed his grappling gun and jammed the pointed end into the hand holding him up.

The monster wailed and dropped Nightwing like a rag doll onto the ground. Nightwing didn't like hurting people, there's a reason he used blunt force weapons instead of sharpened batterangs, but in that moment he was so deep in fight or flight that he didn't care. He somehow kept a grasp on the grapple and it slid out of the monsters palm with a slick pop with him as he landed hard on the ground. Before anyone could question what happened, Nightwing took the arguably heroic—though at the moment he felt like a coward—way out. With black rimming his vision and his whole body in total agony, he shot the bloody grapple towards the distance and retreated. He kept going until the smell of the sea was far behind him and his legs gave out. He stumbled in the dark streets and slid against one of the buildings brick walls, breathing hard.

"Damn," he whispered as the clouds opened up to rain.

"Damnit."

-o-o-o-o-

Wow, whole chapter fit on the post. Neat. That's a first.

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2018 Anime Final Review

Why yes, pretty much all the Spring premieres are done (don’t even remind me haha I’m so far behind) and this is horribly late, I had a busy couple of weeks ;---; and am still struggling to catch up, but here’s my final rundown of this long slow winter! Worst to best, as always.

Dropped

Basilisk Ouka Ninpou Chou: Although I’d said I’d keep watching for the Nobunaga twist, given the onslaught of new stuff for Spring, it’s unsustainable to keep watching something so mediocre I don’t even find anything to say about it. Also Nobunaga hasn’t been mentioned in three episodes.

DUMPSTER FIRE

Darling in the Franxx: So we’re halfway through the show and still feels nothing of importance has happened, except we learned “lesbians are not viable, what a relief” and also KOKORO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE BABIES. The whole Kokoro business is very unsavory because on the one hand the writing is a dick to Walking Fat Joke Futoshi, but on the other hand Futoshi is an entitled Nice Guy who acts like Kokoro has some obligation to return his feelings, so basically everyone sucks lmao. Btw, does anyone know what happened with episode 13? I went to watch it but what I got instead was a Deadman Wonderland episode, complete with the story of Palurdo meeting Lab Experiment-turned-Beast Waifu as children and making a promise that would subsequently be forgotten until they meet again in their teenage years. Jesus, does Womenz are Beastz: The Anime have a single original idea?

How am I supposed to measure my own disinterest and contempt

This basically means I didn’t care for these shows. I don’t hate them but I was aggressively unengaged in them and I can’t really rank them from worst to best because that would imply me having any measurable emotional reaction to them

Violet Evergarden: I don’t think I have much to add about this one that I haven’t said before. Tryhard Sad Anime Girl stories rehashing old clichés with little novelty to them,  with a bonus of a super poorly explained and thought out child super soldier tragic backstory that still has me ?????? The final episode has the addendum of trying to redeem That One Asshole in a “he treats her bad because he’s sad about his brother dying sob sob sob he’s totally not a jerk” and i was very annoyed by that.

Koi wa Ameagari no You ni: It’s complicated to talk about this show. I really liked the first episode, hated the 4-6, then was mostly bored by the rest of it. The whole romance angle was completely dropped in the latter half, but I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing given how tastelessly it was being handled in some moments, or a bad one given how bland everything else was. It felt like Akira’s crush on Kondo turned out to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It also felt like Akira was profoundly underdeveloped, and it bothered me because Kondo was developed properly. His character felt more fully realized than hers. Like idk, I just cared so little for the last few episodes and it didn’t feel like Akira’s emotional progression was very connected with the first half of the show. 

Fate/Extra Last Encore: I don’t even have a screenshot. Apparently the reason the show started so late into the season is that it took a long time to produce, and apparently there are two more episodes that will be released at some point in July. But really, what matters is that I have no idea of what this show was trying to accomplish. The characters were a bunch of pieces of cardboard spouting pseudo nihilistic philosophical nonsense and I don’t even know how to describe the plot. It was generic in its Boss of the Week approach but the execution was often very flat. Definitely none of the fun from Apocrypha’s cool characters was to be had in this iteration of the franchise.

Too much iyashikei

This season we had too much iyashikei and I’m burned out. Here are the ones I didn’t hate but also wasn’t super in love with.

Miira no Kaikata: I think this show would’ve worked better as 3-minute vignettes. 20 minutes of it was a bit too much and I struggled to pay attention. I also felt the dragon and MukuMuku had very tangential roles. I don’t have a whole lot to say. It’s cute, if cute is your jam this show is for you. Connie is best smol monster.

Hakumei to Mikochi: Another cute show that gains extra points for its somewhat unique setting, beautiful color palette and picture book aesthetic and because the two main girls are great characters. I particularly liked the first and last episodes. It’s a relaxing, fun little show

Sanrio Danshi: The harbinger of feminism made into a toy commercial, while not quite iyashikei, is still a slice of life that just occassionally indulged in too much melodrama. It was nonetheless a fun little thing that managed to turn cynical consumerism into a positive message for boys: it’s okay to like non-traditionally-masculine things. One of the details I liked most was that none of the boys had to give up on their previous groups of friends even after “coming out”, Kouta’s friends and Shuu’s team were supportive of them and even participated in their dumbass musical play. Some may even read this show as a not-so-subtle allegory on homosexuality and while I don’t think this was Sanrio’s intent (their intent is to broaden their market, plain and simple) the fact that it works so well with that reading is honestly great. I had very minimal expectations for this show and I’m happy it turned out better than those.

Classicaloid 2: Classicaloid isn’t quite iyashikei either but it fits in the “didn’t love it, didn’t hate it” category. I’m a huge fan of season one, but unfortunately a big part of S2 failed to capture the magic. I think most of it was restored in the second cour, specially with brilliant episodes such as the one where Dovo-chan becomes a super-realistic painting of himself, and the last three episodes really captured what made Classicaloid great. I’ve really come to love this cast, so I wouldn’t complain if we got more seasons (please do Vivaldi!!!)

Shonen is a Good Genre, Actually

Shonen as a genre/demographic is much reviled for its repetitive clichés and childish stories, but I think we live at a time in which we can have well-executed shonen anime that, although falling for the same old clichés, have enough heart and sincerity that makes them enjoyable. This part also isn’t necessarily ranked, since my favorite one will change depending on which day you ask me

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: As I have mentioned before, this second season seems to be the polar opposite of the first one’s rapid pace. It’s been a while since I read the manga, but I feel like it took a lot less to get to the mid-season cutoff point there than this anime would lead you to believe, especially the training part felt excruciatingly long. NanaTai has other various flaws including its 1000% not funny harrassment jokes and the dumb introduction of quantified “power levels” (why Suzuki), but characters like Diane, King and Ban give the show a unique flavor. And I’m not even gonna pretend to be unbiased, I just love everything involving Ban, even the weird and questionable choice of bringing Elaine back. I’m excited that we’re finally approaching Escanor’s arrival.

Yowapeda Glory Road: I also forgot to grab a screenshot lmao. Yowapeda is a very particular beast, and with its episode count already in the hundreds, it’s not something I’d reccommend unless you’re super into dragged out ridiculous sports anime. This second season of Onoda’s second year has not been without its flaws either, starting with the, imho absurd persistence in making Sohoku look like underdogs even though they’re reigning champions. It’s made a lot of the first two days of the Interhigh feel a lot grimmer than this cheerful show ought to. Kaburagi is still an insufferable character, and the fact that he drags the team down doesn’t help him either, and I just wish the writers would let Best Boy Teshima win anything. I hope the second day ends on a lighter note, because the gloom and doom is making this a less enjoyable watch than it should be

Mahoutsukai no Yome: I feel a little better about this one knowing the final was anime-original, but at the same time I’m beyond livid with how it was wrapped up. I loved the second half of the series because of how well-written and emotional Chise’s growth was, and everything up to her embracing of Cartaphilus’s curse was a beautiful display of her strength and will to live. What I’m not here for is that asspull wedding whatever that makes no sense in the context of the previous events, especially because after the fact, Elias’s attempt to kill Stella is swept under the rug. This could’ve been my favorite show of the season without that bullshit ending and while I don’t regret watching it, it leaves me with a sad feeling of what could have been

Best of the season

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens: It had a slow start, but with its endearing cast and well-developed character relationships, HTR won me over, especially the last quarter. The animation was veeery barebones, but Lin and Bamba’s charisma and their organically developed relationship carried the show to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. I also really appreciate the fact that the series includes a gay couple with an adopted daughter and that Lin’s crossdressing is never used as a joke or treated as a character flaw or a “phase”. I love stories about found families and I’d love to see more of this gang fighting crime and doing shady business in their city of assassins.

Garo: Vanishing Line: This iteration of Garo had a somewhat slow start, but boy did it pick up steam in the second half. The action was great -the final fight against King had some incredible stylistic choices, the characters’ journeys felt complete and very human and the story was interesting and different enough from other Garo to not feel repetitive, yet with enough Garoisms that made it feel connected to everything else. Like I said, I love stories about found families, so the way Sophie found a home with Gina, Luke and Sword by the end was very touching. Watching Sophie’s journey has been a treat, and I’m immensely happy that this wasn’t a Guren no Tsuki disaster, but was more in line with the excellence of Honoo no Kokuin.

Gakuen Babysitters: This was the huge surprise of the season for me, I almost expected it to be pretty dull. Instead it turned out to be super cute and extremely heartwarming. It had a couple of duds here and there, mostly the not-actually-a-pedophile joke character and the early love triangle skits, but the former disappeared and the latter was vastly improved in the second half of the show. I wish Ryuichi’s grief had been dealt with a bit more, but I think what they did show was very well executed and empathetic. And the portrayal of the kids felt very realistic, including both children’s most adorable and most obnoxious behaviors. KIRIN IS BEST GIRL

Card Captor Sakura Clear Card arc: I have expressed some complaints and dissatisfactions with this sequel all through the season. Mostly in regards to the new cards and how the old ones seem to have been forgotten (also the lazy designs of the new cards). In spite of that, Sakura hasn’t lost any of its heart in these 20 years, the characters are still the kids we grew up with. It is an overwhelmingly cheerful and positive show, from Sakura and Syaoran’s shyly developing relationship, to the hopefulness of Sakura’s magic and just the simple day to day life of Sakura and her friends. In spite of all its flaws, Sakura is still my favorite show of the season and I’m happy we get to spend one more season with these characters. Just please give me more Yue??? 

Ooooof, finally I’m done with this! PLEASE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THE 20+ SHOWS I’M SAMPLING FOR SPRING AHAHAHAHA. There’s too much anime. Anime must be stopped, immediately. Don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts about the winter season, even if it seems I’m losing my mind a little Dx TOO MUCH ANIME

[d3ndroica]

Big Apple 5

Part 1     Part 2    Part 3    Part 4    

They traded texts. Sometimes the other was busy, and no reply would come, or replies were so sporadic it didn’t amount to much. But every few days or so, there would be an actual conversation. Usually it wasn’t about anything important. Something a roommate did, a news story, or some other random topic.  

It was Friday. Madge was bored, waiting for cells to incubate in the lab so she could finish an assay. She had time to kill. Her thoughts had strayed to something that had needled her. She picked up her phone. Set it down. Picked it up.

Madge 4:14pm So I have a question

Gale 4:17pm um ok? Madge 4:17pm So. Do you have a different safety text if you like, bring someone home? Or go home with someone else?

Gale 4:20pm hot date?

Madge 4:21pm ha. No really it makes sense right? What if something happens

Gale 4:22pm  um dont take someone home if you’re worried about your safety

Madge 4:23pm Right. Because rape only happens in back alleys with strangers. Or I could just join a nunnery so then i’ll never have to worry about my safety ever again anyway

Gale 4:24pm that would be shakespearean level tragic (the nunnery part, rape is always tragic) You’re talking a whole new level of safety text i hadn’t thought  of. I guess you could have suffix emojis? There’s always 🍆 and 🌮  If you wanted to share that info

Madge 4:26pm  Holy shit really? I’m at work you know

Gale 4:27pm  yeah i’m working too who cares what did you think I would say?

Madge 4:27pm IDK I never understood the 🌮 thing   I mean, why not a good old fashioned pussy right? 😻

Gale 4:28pm   Are your coworkers reading your texts? Tell them I want to eat your 😻 See how maybe could be taken the wrong way Do you know how many people have pet cats?

Sometimes he did this. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was or if it was even on purpose. Flirting because it was just normal to him. Teasing her. Whatever it was, she tried to ignore it. She really did. Unsuccessfully, because holy shit. And it seemed to be escalating. And maybe she wanted it, and that was why she brought up things like  🌮 versus  😻. But still. It was a dangerous game to play with someone she couldn’t date.

Madge 4:29pm  OMG you are nuts so, I get the pet cat thing  But tacos are a thing too  Like taco tuesday? I love taco tuesday, and I might want to invite people to eat actual tacos  I could probably talk my roomie into it, she’s all about her latinx heritage I should be able to use 🌮 without people thinking it’s a come on

Gale 4:29pm um yeah “come eat my 🌮🌮” is probably a bad way to invite people to dinner

Gale 4:32pm  🍒?  And don’t say you want to invite people over to eat cherries I thought you didn’t use emojis

Madge 4:35pm Hey I’m learning the local ways. Gotta try to fit in in a new city right?  Well there’s no pie emoji anyway is there? So I guess I’d have to settle for typing out words.

Gale 4:36pm  words  what are those  that sounds impossible 🙄  almost as bad as phone calls

Madge 4:36pm ha right. phone calls. Cressida talks on the phone a lot actually, it’s weird. Maybe autocorrect cant handle multilingual convos? OR MAYBE it’s because she can’t text people about 🌮!  Shit that sounds racist.  😳 It is funny though That there are people all over town sending texts about their 🍆🍆 and 🌮🌮    Like sex is so embarrassing we can’t admit is what we want Also now i want tacos

Gale 4:39pm Didn’t this all start because you wanted an emoji for sex

Madge 4:40pm huh Wait, no. I mean, yes it applies to sex. But it’s broader than that. The whole safety text thing makes sense. I mean I get it, going out drinking, dancing, big city, late nights. There are some risks there and so when those risks don’t apply, you say so. And it’s more fun than a bunch of “home safe” messages. I never said sex. You made it about sex.

Gale 4:42pm  You can say what you want but I know you’re just looking for a sex emoji. Why else would you be going home with someone at 2am?

Madge 4:44pm I just want to understand the protocols here. Like, if I am safely to where I will be for the night but it’s not home? Do I include that? Is there a second safety text in the morning? Or if someone comes home with me, that’s like, an additional risk factor. With or without the sex. So fine let’s assume it’s for sex, then it’s a bit braggadocious to be like “🖕⛄️ 🐸 I’m about to have sex now”

Gale 4:45pm  Braggadocious????????? Are you kidding me?? You and your big words don’t steal my emojis 🖕⛄️ 🐸  = MINE and isn’t it still bragging no matter how you say it?

Gale 4:48pm isn’t this whole thing dehumanizing anyway? Just send 👩‍❤️‍ 👩 or 👩‍❤️‍ ❤️‍👨 or whatever. no sex needed. for the record from now on I want to be referred to as 🤵🏽

Madge 4:49pm lol You know that’s supposed to be a groom like for a wedding right?

Gale 5:16pm you want  🌮🌮 tonight?

Madge 5:19pm Yes Dammit.

Gale 5:22pm <link1> or <link2> your pick

Madge clicked on the links. One was for “street taco” and the other was for a lesbian bar called “cubbyhole.”  Thank God her phone was not on the office wifi.

Madge 5:25pm Haha so funny Meet @ 9? I’m stuck here awhile.

Gale 5:26pm deal  I’ve always wanted to go to cubbyhole you think they’ll let me in if I’m with you?

When Madge arrived at “Street Taco” which was actually a festively decorated sit-down taqueria, the place was packed. Gale was already there, hunched near the doorway waiting for a table and looking at his phone. Wearing layers starting with a button-down collared shirt, followed by a dark sweater, and ending with a winter coat, he looked different, practically cleancut. Suddenly she felt a wave of shyness, but she threw that feeling aside, walked over and nudged his elbow.

He gave her a sidelong glance. “Hey,” he said with a small smile, still typing something with his thumbs. A moment later he pocketed the phone.

“Why do people eat so late here?” She grumbled.

“Because nobody works 9 to 5 in this city?” Gale suggested. “Congratulations - looks like you’re becoming a New Yorker. Why were you at work so late on a Friday night anyway?”

“Typical lab work,” Madge said. She started to explain but the hostess had buzzed Gale’s phone. Their table was ready. 

Once they were seated Gale looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you’ve given up on the librarian look already?” he questioned.

She bit back a smile. “I’m just saving it for work now. It’s amazing how effective a frumpy cardigan and sneakers can be. That, and I’m wearing a lab coat half the time anyway.” Now that he’d shed his winter coat, she realized why he looked different. He’d gotten a haircut.

“Right, lab coats. What were you saying about work?”

Madge tried to explain it briefly. “So, we have a lot of protocols that require incubation periods between each step. Some stages can sit overnight and others can’t so you work out the best schedule but there are always long days. I’m actually lucky I haven’t had to go in on the weekend yet.”

“Well I guess finding the cure for cancer isn’t going to be easy,” Gale joked.

Madge groaned. “You did not just say that.”

“What?”

Madge retorted. “The Cure for cancer? Are you serious? So, that’s a total misconception. There is no research targeting *quote* A cure for cancer. It’s not one disease. It’s a whole bunch of diseases that are lumped together.” She huffed and counted on her fingers,”Lymphomas and leukemias and sarcomas and tumors just for a start - and none of those are just one disease with a simple cure waiting to be found either.”

“Okay,” Gale replied.

Madge realized she was rambling and on her soapbox but she couldn’t stop herself. “It’s just one of those things that people don’t get and it’s really frustrating. I mean, telling people I work on pharmaceutical effects on the cellular regulation of apoptosis in diseased cells it would make no sense to anyone outside the field.” Proof in point, she knew from his expression it meant nothing to him. She continued, “so I say, hey I work on cancer drugs, but then people get this idea that we’re gonna find some magical solution that cures everything and that’s not how it works.”

Gale smirked. “Definitely not easy then.”

“Fine. I shouldn’t have brought it up anyway,” Madge frowned. “It’s just been a long day.”

“Well, I like you explaining it. Even if it sounds like greek to me. I don’t know jack about that stuff.”

They checked out the menu and ordered food. It didn’t take long to get their food, which slowed down the conversation. Gale asked how things were going with her phone-obsessed roommate, but really Madge had no complaints about Cressida. They didn’t even interact that much, at least not yet. Gale apparently had two roommates in a 3-bedroom apartment. They’d all met playing soccer and apparently got on fairly well.

“Have you seen Thom lately?” Madge asked. Thom had asked her all about Gale and what she thought after their last dinner together. Eventually Madge had told him he should just talk to Gale if he was so curious. She couldn’t see Thom and Gale together now, despite their history, but she felt maybe she owed it to Thom to pry a bit.

“We talked last week I think,” Gale guessed, sounding casual.  “I take it you two are pretty close?”

“Yeah, you know, college bonding. Late nights. We’ve both needed someone ..  He’s my guy, you know? I mean, my platonic guy friend guy. Obviously.”

“How did you meet him?” he asked.

“Theater program. I worked tech backstage,” she explained. “So we were in the same dorm freshman year but we really bonded during A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum that spring.”

“Only backstage?” He was teasing her. “Did you figure you’d had your 15 minutes of fame? Princess?” 

Madge rolled her eyes. “Funny. So my acting coach for the pageants told me my acting was ‘pedestrian’ and I guess I decided that was a good thing. Backstage was more fun anyway. Like in Forum, Thom didn’t have that big a role, so he had lots of time to hang out backstage.”

“And you’ve been BFFs ever since?” Gale joked. 

“Sort of. I don’t think either one of us realized it when school ended. We just knew it was sad to go home. Then we talked all the time that summer. I had some stuff going on and he came out to his family, so I guess it was a pretty eventful year.”

“Was it hard for him? Coming out?”

Madge shrugged. “I guess so, yeah. Isn’t it always? He can tell you. But I don’t think his parents were that surprised? It was more the extended family.” Madge felt a little uncomfortable talking about Thom’s outing, so she turned the tables. “It’s gotta be tough though. I mean, you’ve been there. Was yours hard?”

Gale paused. “Well, yeah. Coming out was hard. You stand on the precipice so many times before you finally just do it, because no matter what your mom says, you’ve heard all this shit about it being a choice and burning in hell. School, church, fucking little league coaches.” Gale sighed. “I hoped it would be easier for Thom though. He was so sure of who he was and you know, the whole theater thing. I just felt like I was lost in the woods, waiting for some sign.  We barely knew gay people existed in high school. Where we came from, we’d never even heard the word bisexual, let alone pan. It was confusing. Took me awhile to figure out that I didn’t have to choose gay or straight.”

Madge almost choked on her taco. “You’re -” she cut herself off. PAN! Pansexual! Her mind screamed it at her. In all honesty she wasn’t sure exactly what that meant but she was pretty sure it was something like bisexual. There was no way she was going to admit her ignorance now. Plus he’d just laid down some pretty serious stuff and her first reaction was to his orientation. Not cool. Quickly she tried to cover. “I mean, yeah. That sucks. You came out as pan though? I just didn’t think about you coming out. As pan. To your family. Are they ...” She paused to take a long sip of her drink. “Are they supportive?”

“I’m so blessed there,” Gale had apparently been distracted enough by everything else he’d just said to realize that being pan was a revelation to her. “My mom,” he told her, “is amazing. It was definitely hard for her - I mean she is deeply religious and by then I’d brought home a few girlfriends. She’s 100% supportive though. She tries so much.”

“That’s good,” Madge said weakly. She was getting way too much new information here and was having trouble keeping up.

After a minute Gale added, “you’re right though. I think a lot of pan people only ever come out partway. They say they’re bi or gay or straight, if they can. But when I finally figured out that there was a name for my feelings, I couldn’t give that up.”

“Right,” Madge agreed. “You shouldn’t have to. It’s like Thom says. You do you.” 

[thorne93]

Lost and Found (Part 13- FINAL)

Prompt: Imagine finding a lost dog, but it’s not just anyone’s lost dog. Who will show up at your door to claim the pup?

Warnings: Maybe language…and…crying? Idk

Word Count: 1656

Note: My precious doggie went missing on 6/10 and no one has spotted her or turned her in to the local shelters or anything. I miss her so much, but it inspired this fic. Texts are in italics. Thanks to my darling beta @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​

Tags: @amarvelouswritings​ @blackwidow-romanoff​ @cocosierra94​ @firstgal34​ @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @sebstan01 @camigt1999 @elleatrixlestrange​ @bittersweetunicorm @moonlightimagination​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @capandbuck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week passed since he showed up at your door. You won’t lie, you wanted to call him, to tell him to come back. To tell him you missed him. But why? What good would it do? He clearly didn’t know what he he wanted. So you wallowed. You continued down your wicked spiral into despair and heartbreak, not even trying to stay above the waves of torment that crashed over you.

At the end of that week, Ida had texted you, asking to meet in Central Park on a certain bridge to hang out.

“No,” you responded, no where near ready to leave the house.

“Just do it. Get out of the house, mopey.”

“Fine.”

You would’ve fought harder but you honestly didn’t feel like it.

You arrived at twilight on the bridge, not noticing at first that soft white fairy lights were lining the walkway, the edge of the bridge and the handrails. Small lanterns were placed there as well. You assumed some dude was trying to romance his girlfriend. Half of you felt bitter, the other half was really happy for the girl.

You waited and waited. Twenty minutes went by and you had texted Ida twice. She responded once, saying she was on her way. At the thirty minute mark you huffed and told her via text that you were leaving. Right as you turned to walk away though, a particular song started nearby by a live orchestra. Although, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint the location of the sound, you knew it was a large symphony orchestra.

You’d heard this song a hundred times. You’d made Sebastian sit through the movie with you about five times since he’d moved in and you often played it in the car or at work, belting out to it. It wasn’t hard to figure out that it was your favorite song. It was unmistakable - Evermore, from Beauty and the Beast. You would know it anywhere.

“I was the one who had it all, I was the master of my fate,” Sebastian suddenly started singing as he came up on the bridge.

“Sebastian?” you breathed, wondering what was going on.

He merely grinned at you and continued singing. “I never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth too late.” He was slowly making his way to you, emotion evident in his eyes as he continued singing. Tears started to prick your eyes. You weren’t sure what you were feeling in that moment, but you didn’t want to go anywhere else.

“I’ll never shake away the pain. I close my eyes but she’s still there. I let her steal into my melancholy heart, it’s more than I can bear.”

The first bittersweet tear started to fall and you laughed at yourself, wiping it with your sleeve.

“Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she runs away,” he sang and you slowly realized he was singing this song from him to you. He didn’t pick it because it was your favorite song…He picked it because it’s how he felt. “She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me, come what may. Wasting in my lonely tower, waiting by an open door, I’ll fool myself, she’ll walk right in and be with me for evermore.”

By now, he’d closed half the distance between you two.

“I rage against the trials of love, I curse the fading of the light. Though she’s already flown so far beyond my reach, she’s never out of sight.”

A few more strides and he would be inches from you. Your heart was beating so fast as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she fades from view. She will still inspire me, be a part of everything I do.”

Two more strides.

“Wasting in my lonely tower, waiting by an open door, I’ll fool myself, she’ll walk right in.”

He was here. In front of you. Arm’s length away, his voice had grown softer.

“And as the long, long nights begin, I’ll think of all that might have been, waiting here for evermore.”

The music faded as his eyes held so much emotion. Hope, happiness, pleading, sorrow, torment, life…love.

He handed you a long stemmed red rose, your favorite flower, and he remembered.

“Sebastian…” you started, laughing and crying, not sure what you were feeling.

“Y/N,” he started, making it clear that it was his turn to talk. “I meant it. Every word. I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you. I never should’ve left you. That was cruel of me. I said I was doing it for you but the truth was I was doing it for myself. I never thought I’d need anyone…But I need you. I miss you. I love you. I’ve been in love with you and whether you accept my apology and take me as I am, you will always be a part of me. I see your face everywhere I go. I’m inspired by you every day. I waited and waited and waited for you to call or text or come on set or come to my house. When you never did, I realized just what I had done. I was a coward, hoping you would make the first move, but why would you? I hurt you, I know that. But I’m not running any more.” He took a small break and you noticed he was shaking. “Y/N, not being next to you was torture. I miss you so fucking much. Please, forgive me.”

You frowned at him for a split second before throwing your arms around his neck and your lips crashing on his in a passionate, bruising kiss. His hands immediately curved around your back, holding you tighter to him, as if he let go, you’d escape his grasp yet again. The sheer feeling of his touch, his lips on you was the most freeing feeling you’d ever felt.

“Thank you,” he breathed once you pulled apart, foreheads resting against each other.

It was then that you realized people were clapping, cheering, and recording. You giggled at the event as you nuzzled his nose.

“So, you recruited Ida?” you wondered with a slight smirk.

“I had to have a partner in crime.”

“So, you’re the villain to my hero?” you asked mischievously.

“Something like that,” he noted as his nose crinkled.

“Was all that stuff about Spinee true?”

“Yeah, actually, it is. He’s not doing well without you. I think…we’re just going to have to move back in together, you know, for his sake.”

“Oh of course, I can’t stand you, so, I’m doing it for him.”

“Yeah, well I’m not the one who leaves dirty socks on the floor.”

You smirked and laughed. “It’s my house, you asshat, I’ll leave dirty whatever and wherever I want to.”

“That shit isn’t gonna fly. We split all this shit 50-50 or no deal.”

“Really? No deal?”

“Really.”

“Get over yourself, Sebastian,” you teased, nudging him.

—————

The next day, you had texted Ida, chastising her for tricking you. When she asked if it worked, you sent her a pic of Seb making coffee, then put your phone away.

“I noticed all your posters of me are gone…” he commented softly as he turned and leaned against the counter.

“Yeah, it was too hard to look at them so…”

“Hey, that’s okay. I get it.”

“I smashed the mug you gave me,” you admitted with guilt gnawing at your tongue..

“Hey, it’s just a mug. I’ll buy you a thousand more if you want them,” he said as you walked up and put your arms around his waist, hugging him close to you.

Chris and Ida asked to go out on a double date within the next few weeks and you obliged. It was a really fun night now that everyone was on the same page.

Within just a few weeks though, Sebastian’s stuff didn’t all fit in your apartment, so you two agreed to find something more suitable for your needs. You began apartment hunting together and finally found something that had a big enough master bathroom, master bedroom, 2 extra rooms, one for your office and the other for Seb, and a perfect kitchen and living room.

The day you signed the new lease agreement and got your stuff moved in, Seb asked you in your bedroom where he said he had a surprise for you.

“If this is you in the Winter Soldier outfit, I am so down for that,” you said with a laugh as you walked into the room, but something caught your eye and it wasn’t your sexy boyfriend.

It was the furry companion he had next to him. It was an black lab.

“I got her for you,” he said sweetly. “You’ve mentioned more than once that you missed having a dog and I think it’s only fair you have one of your own. Besides, Spinee needs a friend.”

“Seb,” you said as tears trickled down your face. You ran to him and hugged and kissed him before dropping down to pet the dog.

“Oh, my gosh. What’s her name?” you asked as you looked up at him excitedly.

He laughed. “She’s your dog, babe. You name her whatever you want.”

“Shit, I’m bad with names…What about…Chuffy?”

He threw his head back and laughed, clapping.

“That’s perfect.”

“I thought so too.”

And so, it turns out, it wasn’t Spinee who was lost. It was Sebastian, and through trials of love and heartbreak, you found him. In a way, you’d been lost too, never knowing what true love felt like, but Sebastian had returned the favor, finding that within you too. While you hoped it never happened again, you knew, that if either one of you were ever lost, the fates would inevitably put you in each other’s paths to find each other.

[patchworktail]

ITS 4:30 AM AND I DONT FEEL LIKE SLEEPING so I’m gonna do this meme that i got tagged for twiCE and totally forgot to do til now!!!! (i had 2 dig through your blogs to find them omg)

ANYWAY i was tagged by both @mooitstimdrake​ and @cynessie​ (I MISS U BOTH BTW ❤)

RULES: Share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions provided by the tagger, tag 11 awesome people and leave 11 questions for them to answer!

(I’m gonna skip tagging people/asking 11 questions - 1) because I’m lazy 2) because a lot of people who I would tag either have already been tagged or woN’T DO IT and 3) I have to answer two sets of 11 questions anyway so I’ll let one of those sets take the place of my 11 questions!!)

11 Facts

I was supposed to leave to move into my college 3 days ago but since my college is in Savannah they pushed off move-in/orientation for a weEK BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IRMA AND I’M STILL UPSET/DISAPPOINTED

That being said I’m about to start as a college freshman at art school, planning on majoring in animation! :D

I binged all of Buzzfeed Unsolved in like 2 days and I fuckin LOVE IT

Also BNHA is like my current main obsession???? I fell in love w that anime and uhhhh I’d Die For My Kids

I almost never use skype anymore - I’m always on Discord now (mutuals may add me just message me if you want my tag :3c)

I loooove creating OCs and my main OC is a forest elf named Rally and he’s precious and I LOVE HIM AND COULD TALK ABOUT HIM FOR HOURS (also my best friend @/harpxer and I have a huge ongoing rp with him and her mountain elf oc, Kahl!! they’re really gay)

Hmmm fun fact I guess I’ve been involved with internet communities since I was 10 years old and I made my very first internet friend when I was 10 and we’re still great friends and talk p much every day to this day (hi @/fiishr)

I want a tattoo super bad but idk what I’d geT

I worked at a jewelry engraving stand at an amusement park this summer and one night I accidentally gave myself a 1st degree burn on my finger from the hot glue gun and it hurt So Bad

I had my graduation party this July and it was really fun but the best part was when 14 of us played this giant game of spoons and it got really intense, made worse by people randomly screaming during it, and then we collectively decided to blast hardcore rap music from the speakers and Let Me Tell You i have not been involved in a more stressful card game in my LIFE

I’ll always always always fall for the hero/happy character/protagonist basically....idk what it is about me but I’m so Predictable...I love cute optimistic brave characters who just wanna do Right.....I don’t cARE IF PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE BORING I THINK THEY’RE PERFECT AND AMAZIGN AND I LOVE THEM

AS FOR AN EXTRA 12TH FACT ABOUT ME AS U CAN SEE I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO I’M THE BIGGEST OVERSHARER E V E R IT’S SO BAD SOMEONE STOP ME

ANYWAY ONTO THE QUESTIONS :3c

@mooitstimdrake​‘s Questions:

If you were to make a new blog dedicated to one single thing (fandom, hobby/activity, etc) what would it be? Honestly, right at the moment probably BNHA!!!! it’s legit my most recent big obsession and I love it?? so much???

If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you have? A RACCOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOSOSOSOSOS MUCH and some people actually do have them as pets! They can be difficult though but WORTH IT

Who was your favorite teacher and why were they your favorite? OH BOY......I’m gonna say it’s a tie between my AP studio art teacher and my AP US government teacher from this past year, my senior year! My AP art teacher because our class was super tiny, 12 kids, and it really felt like a family?? She was a-okay with letting us all goof around and say weird shit, she was really chill and funny and like. part teacher, part friend, which was always nice. As for my AP gov teacher, he was SO. FUCKING. FUNNY. OH MAN. NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE he just like? put up with SO MUCH? we had some real character kids in that class and my teacher’s reactions were HILARIOUS. he had a sarcastic streak too so his responses were equally as funny when someone did something weird. He would say the funniest stuff just ask @/harpxer I would tell her so many stories from that class sohboshrb. Aside from the humor that class was really interesting, and he’s a really good, invested teacher - he wanted us to learn, he’s super passionate about government and history, and he always started off each class with 2 current events which was really nice and helped me learn more about things happening in the world too!!! overall that was like my fav non-art class I’ve ever taken!!!!

What’s your guilty pleasure (and I’m challenging you not to say some kind of food)? HMMMMM. Honestly I’m gonna go ahead and say really cheesy or lame movies/shows (like, Disney channel movies, dumb shows - like the one summer I watched all of Glee LOL, stuff like that). Like yeah I know 90% of it is terRIBLE but it’s still amusing/lighthearted stuff that makes me happy KLSDJVLSDHB

Favorite pizza topping? EXTRA CHEESE IF THAT COUNTS, if not then pepperoni!!

What’s the last thing you bought (that wasn’t food)? I’ve actually been buying a lot the past few weeks in prep for college/spending a little money for ONCE since I worked all summer. I got a bunch of boring stuff but the things I’m most excited about are: two posters I got for my dorm (The Office is one and one is Lord Huron), a giant wall tapestry (it’s Up themed!!!), tWO BNHA/POKEMON CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM I START CRYING BC THEYRE SO CUTE, and oh my GOD I BOUGHT THIS GIANT PILLOW FROM TARGET AND IT IS THE SINGLE SOFTEST THING I’VE EVER FELT AND IT’S HUGE AND IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME MY #1 COMFORT OBJECT AND TOP FIVE FAV THINGS IVE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!! I guess MOST recently though I just bought Clip Studio Paint online today (art program) since it’s on sale for 50% off and I’ve heard great things about it!

What upcoming movies/tv shows are you looking forward to? UHHHHH as for movies... justice league part 1, the incredibles 2, kingsman 2, the neW POKEMON MOVIE I CHOOSE YOU, probably a lot more I can’t remember rn. AS FOR SHOWS HMMM I’m...excited for the next season of the good place and izombie, and oh I’m excited for the punisher netflix show!! and the next season of voltron of COURSE!!! and next season of stranger things!! probably more I’m forgetting too tbh

Any recommendations (this could be anything just throw your best pitch at me)? JFISDJKLBJ I DON’T KNOW OMG tbh rachel you watch a lot of the same things I do already LMAOOO

What’s your favorite thing to wear that you own? OH FUCK I DUNNO HMMM I really like wearing my various leggings and scarves, but as like a Single Item....I like wearing....uhhhh I have this giANT sweater like it’s WAY too big for me but it’s so COMFY and I love it. I also love wearing my Star Labs sweatshirt bc it’s soft and comfortable

What was your first pet? my cat!!! we took her in as a stray kitten living in our backyard when I was like. 2 or 3 and so we’ve basically had her my whole life!!

If you could learn any language, what would it be? UHHHHHH honestly probably spanish - I took it 4 straight years and was okay at it in class but one year went by with me not taking it and I forgot everything LOOOL I’m...bad....at languages....

@cynessie‘s Questions:

Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been? I haven’t been many cool places :( I guess the coolest isssss I dunno it depends? Lake George is where I go on vacation every year, I LOVE NYC, I love Savannah too and it’s where I’m gonna be for college so?? ?? ?  ? I’VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I’M SAD BUT I’M POOR AND CAN’T AFFORD IT

What was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? veterinarian!! 

Look to your right. What do you see? a dirty plate on my desk, my bed just past that, and my CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY THAT ARE SO CUTE I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THEM

What are you procrastinating on? ajkldjboidj lik e 4 art commissions,,,, and 7 MAP parts,,,, and my pre-work for 2 of my classes,,,,,,,and cleaning my room,,,, and sending thank-you notes to relatives,,, SOMEONE KICK MY ASS AND MAKE ME DO SHIT

Which family member are you closest too and what is their name? UHHHH.... I guess my younger brother Luke? or maybe my mom? I’m not on bad terms with anyone though, I love both my older brothers too and we all have a good sibling relationship I just talk more with my younger bro I think - second closest would be with my second older brother Connor!

What’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to Ultralife by Oh Wonder right now :3c I’ve been on a huUUGE Oh Wonder kick lately!!

What do you generally carry in your bag/pockets when you go out? my wallet (w my license and money and debit card and all), travel size lotion, phone, and chap stick!!

What is one thing you are excited for? FINALLY GETTING TO COLLEGE NEXT WEEK AND STARTING CLASSES FJIODFHINBDFHBNSBO

Do you believe in ghosts? I’m gonna hesitantly say YES but I’m not 100% convinced I don’t think

What is a skill you want to learn? MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD but I think learning how to act would be kinda neat. On a more realistic note I wish I could learn to exercise without dying

Tell me a joke. I’M BAD AT JOKES DON’T DO THIS TO ME NESSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO YEAH THAT’S ALL FOLKS it’s 5am now...Nice..... :’) I love my ability to stay up obscenely late while also getting Nothing Done JLSDNVDHAGHVDLAK

[miniwolfsbane]

I found a shiny in the wild on a website!

Still can’t get a dog, very disappointing.  It’s just I’m the only one that wants one, we have wood floors now after having carpet for a long time, (I think that’s the main reason my dad’s not on board), we’re still working on the house and everyone is busy being an actual adult (unlike me!) so I have too much time on my hands and do stupid stuff like this. You might be wondering “Why don’t you move out?” Well, because, dear anon, I’m caregiving and have been for 13 years and it’s not gonna change anytime soon. So, because of all this, I probably won’t ever get a dog. Anyway, I just thought the whole “I found a shiny” was really funny. As it usually is. I still don’t have Let’s Go Pikachu either, but, hey, first world problems, am I right?

Also her name is Princess on the site and she’s beautiful and looks like a lab/Husky mix from the light yellow coloring. A husky is A LOT of work and care, but I want a dog for exercise, among other reasons (because we’ve always had a dog until now. As I’ve said, I lost my last dog to a tumor 8 years ago, and our other dog Cleveland was gone a year or two before that. He was old and didn’t take our move well. Long, sad story there.

I’m just going ramble for a minute. Tumblr hasn’t let me post for a couple days, so I need a good vent. Again. Feel free to ignore past this point unless you’re really bored!

I know a dog is a big responsibility and I’m ready for it. I promised a family member (and I think I told my dad? But it had no effect, obviously) tuthat I’d take full care of it. I used to just feed my dog and walks were done as a family thing, but I could totally walk it every day and feed it. I’m more than old enough. 

OTOH, without a dog, there’s not more responsibility piled on top of me. I already have a cat and bird, besides fulltime caregiving. So...plus?

But I miss having a dog and enjoyed the companionship. It’s like the meme says, money doesn’t wiggle it’s butt when you come in the door. 

Then it’s like, I’d love to finish the repairs on the house, but again, money is always an issue. (Another reason I became a youtuber. I’m hoping to earn money to contribute to household funds and not just spend it on myself. Besides, if you’re following me, you know I’mma just spend it on Sailor Moon merch, clothes, food and the like!) Again, it’s a waiting game. You have to be good enough, funny enough, entertaining enough for youtube to start getting monatized. Like I said on Twitter, I’m going to try ASMR and a bit of everything and see what gets views. And for fun, because it’s an excuse to cosplay, lol. (I want to stay away from romantic ASMR for the time being, because it sounds weird for me to do that and I’m religious and I’m not sure it’s okay. So dressing up as Rogue or whoever sounded like a fun idea that’s not romantic at all.) On that note, I was super excited last night because one Sims video got 40 views in an hour and the second video I did got 74, then 84 later on!! That is more views at once than I’ve had in weeks. I wondered if YT was glitching, but I figured not, so I was really happy! I wanted to write it last night, but like I said, Tumblr hasn’t let me posted. Well, glob knows how I’ll do with a fake southern accent. I want to do Evo Rogue just for the attitude alone. Oh, and I’ve still got my crappy cosplay blouse of hers somewhere too. Hooray? (And the fake white hair. XD) The fam and I dressed up for the Iron Man 2 premiere with a huge group. Never happened again, unfortunately.

Anway, back to the dog thing. It would be so fun to have a dog, but I can’t keep going like this. Unless I have the money to make the repairs needed, then I don’t think anyone will care much. Unless the dog scratches up the floor, of course. Or something worse. Le sigh. We actually had to send my first dog, a dropped off Golden Retriever named Buttercup, to a farm when I was 5 because she chewed up hoses. (Both parents worked at the time, so she was outside a lot.) And, of course, my parents took me to “say goodbye” but I actually had to watch her get taken away, barking and upset. Completely traumatizing. After that I had a string of dogs that kept dying on me and such, no lie. Bailey Quarters ran away, Widget drowned in our pool during a pet sitting (It was one of my brothers friends, but it could’ve happened to anyone. Worse, I saw it at 8. It was a wonder it didn’t scar me for life.) , Abby the hound got Parvo. We took in Widget’s mom and sister, Missy and Chubby, and then things finally normalized. Then Cleveland came along, then Wiley came because I begged for him. (Do not take your kid to a puppy birthing unless you want a puppy.) Missy, Chubby and Cleveland had been family dogs, but Wiley, as insane and hyper and smart-dumb as he was, totally my dog. This is the dog that stuck his head in a fireplace while the fire was going to retrieve a stick. (But he was safe, as the stick didn’t go into the fire, just far from it.)

I miss all that crazyness. I miss having a dog. Dogs don’t scratch you on purpose and they don’t bite if they’re friendly, usually. Dogs aren’t cats. I love my cat, I let him have a Meow box subscription for a while, but he’s not a dog. Same with the bird. (Who screams too much, BTW.) Well, it’s not the end of the world. I just have to learn to take disappointment better.

Lastly, unrelated but the hmm-hm-hmmms at Skreened.com shut down my store! :( Buuuut that may be because I was making fangirling shirts without permission and using AOS actors names? IDK. But, it’s like, you can’t own people? What, do you go e-mail their agent and say “Can I use his name on a shirt?” I guess so! That’s the only reason I can think of, but they didn’t even e-mail me a warning or anything! (I signed up in ‘15, if that makes any difference. Didn’t sell anything.) I do remember taking down shirts that used character names, in fear of getting terminated. Very disappointing, but I’ve got other stores that didn’t delete me, thank glob, and my patreon I never actually look at and need to get back to. Bleh. I just hate when things like this happen, but don’t we all? On the upside, I wasn’t making, say Pokemon stuff on Etsy and getting a cease and desist and I know not to deal with them again. Oh, hey, look, clear copyright infringement! https://skreened.com/search?q=pokemon *Headdesk* 

[mysidewriting]

Through the Storm

From the start --> Previous chapter

Chapter Four:

The walls of Professor Oak's lab were lined from ceiling to floor in thick books. Titles ranging from things relating to the overall population of Kanto, to specific species of Pokémon. Large machines whirred in the background and an interesting assortment of the native beats wandered the lab, aiding assistants with their work or just lounging in corners.

The man himself was short, square faced, and entirely grey. He welcomed me ceremoniously with a large grin and a steady handshake. His hands were so raw with callouses that I felt as though I needed lotion after simply shaking hands.

He directed me towards a side room of the lab where some thick binders sat on a round table. I could tell by the scribbled words on the cover that Oak's work laid between the plastic. He promised my time here wouldn't be mostly reading and would actually include some hands on experimenting and sampling of the Kanto population, but for today it would be most beneficial for me to read as much as possible.

So that's what I did nearly all day. Sat at that round table with my nose in binders full of research findings and questions. As monotonous as it was, the content was shockingly interesting and exciting so I never got too distracted or bored.

Towards the end of the day I moved on to the last binder, a significantly thinner piece of research than the ones I had worked through. The cover was black and speckled with gold, a sheet of paper with a drawn rune on the front sparked my interest.

The index held nothing other than Pokémon names and page numbers, nothing I recognized at all. Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mew, and MewTwo.

Articuno, currently believed to be sleeping somewhere in the depths of sea foam cave, was one of the three legendary birds. An ice and flying type and that held unspeakable power. I wondered if it was any stronger or even stronger than Lunaala or Solgaleo. Not much information was in the research about the ice bird, and not much was in there for the other two birds either.

Zapdos was last seen in the power plant near Pewter City and Mt. Moon. It was an electric flying type and was known for striking lightning with each beat of its wings.

Moltres, the fire and flying type bird had not been seen anywhere other than the sky in the last ten years. Its location was completely unknown, and its presence was feared by many. The bird was almost entirely covered in flames, much like the Phoenix spoken of in old mythology. Despite the fact that its location was unknown, researchers speculate that it was living in a tropical environment such as the orange islands not far off the coast of Kanto.

The final two Pokémon covered in the binder had their sections merged and not much information had been provided for either of them. I'd just started reading about the psychic type, Mew, when Oak entered and informed me it was time to head home for the day. He was surprised to see I had gotten through nearly everything and agreed to let me finish the last section tomorrow.

Green had invited me to stay at house for the whole week I was supposed to be in Pallet and working with his grandfather. I thanked him repeatedly, and promised to repay the favor in the future. The guest room was made temporarily mine and I unpacked all the contents of my backpack into the empty dresser, washing my dirty clothes in his basement. I met his younger sister, a girl who sparked no resemblance to the narcissistic man whatsoever. She was shy and quiet, only two years younger than me.

Daisy was a Pokémon groomer with a magic touch, not even my still rambunctious nidorina could act disorderly around her. She was calm and didn't react negatively when I asked if she would groom Type:Null, she only asked where it was from. We had tea together and talked about various things, she told stories of Green when he was younger and more annoying than he was now.

Later in the day, as the sun was falling beyond the horizon and the rattata scurried around in the shadowed grass for scraps, Green came back to the house with another guy in tow. They were both covered in dirt and debris.

"Cinnabar is uninhabitable, in case either of you were wondering." Green said as he tossed his dirty jacket into a corner of the living room. His sister rose her eyebrows in annoyance at him but he shrugged it off. "That volcano eruption destroyed everything."

"That's not surprising." Daisy stated bluntly, still gazing at her older brother with a look of aggravation. "The news said the eruption was huge."

"Eruption?" I questioned, gaze falling on the other guy who was shucking off his own jacket and hanging it up on a rack.

"Some volcano under Cinnabar Island blew up two months ago. Red and I wanted to see if anything from the city made it." Green explained, referencing the new guy. Red the champion of Kanto, oh.

"So that old mansion and the fossil lab are just destroyed?" Daisy asked.

Red nodded disappointedly.

"That's a lot of scientific research and history lost." Daisy complained, setting her cup of tea down on the side table. She stood from the couch both of us had been sitting on for the past few hours and scooped up Green's dusted jacket and Red's as well. "You should have taken Moon with you, though." She said as she left the room, likely taking the jackets downstairs to wash them.

"We'll take you with us when you’re finished with gramps's stuff." Green said with a beaming grin in my direction. "We're going to explore Seafoam Island with you."

Seafoam! That was where the ice bird was thought to be located, excitement gripped me and I grinned back to him. "You better take me with you!"

The three of us, excluding Daisy. Went out to the backyard where Green released half his team to wander and stretch before being in for the night. Red did the same and I gazed in awe at his bulky charizard and somehow intimidating pikachu. Green half forced, half requested me to release lycanroc and Type:Null so Red could see the rare species of Pokémon from Alola. I obliged and had to stop Null from ramming into Green's arcanine out of intimidation. Kai was preoccupied showing off to the two men staring at her with amazement.

Red wasn't much for words, as I learned when attempting to ask him about his training regimen. He'd just shrugged and pointed to Green - who then explained that they trained off each other for the most part. The only thing he did say was 'sure' when Green asked him if he wanted to watch some movie before calling it a night. The Pokémon were left outside while everyone in the house nestled into the living room to watch some cheesy flick about team rocket.

After it was over I told them about Alola's former Team Skull. How there was nothing all that scary about them aside from some crazy crap with Pokémon from another dimension. Both Red and Green stared at me like I was insane, I just shrugged. I wasn't really allowed to talk about ultra space or the ultra beasts with anyone other than those who already knew about them.

M//I met the champion of Kanto!

H//REALLY?! Ooh what's he like?

M//quiet haha //he's got a real scary looking charizard and pikachu

G//pikachu?

H//yeah why not a raichu?

M//idk and he wouldn't tell me if I asked

L//I've met him before too! He's very quiet, but very nice //I've heard that Kantonian Raichu aren't as strong as Alolan.

G//odd.

M//Gladion, the Null you gave me tried to fight Green's Pokémon for no reason hahaha

G//you brought it with?

M//yeah!

H//I still want one 😒

G//There's only two.

L//Moon's is much cuter than yours, Bub. 😝

G//Okay?

L//she also saved me life so

M//you wouldn't have died! Just probably broke something.... haha //also she?

H//HOW DID SHE SAVE YOUR LIFE? Why did you almost die!!!!

G//What did you do....

L//Moon and I found a weird cave and explored and I almost fell off a cliff 😅

G//Moon, that's exactly what I told you not to do...

M//this was before that though! //And I guess Null is just a girl now, ok haha

H//LILLIE DONT GO IN THERE AGAIN! You either Moon what the heck?

M//I want to go back though

G//D o n ' t. I swear to Arceus, Moon, do not go back.

Mew was apparently the first decedent of the god Pokemon, Arceus. The first Pokémon that created every other Pokémon? Something like that, the way the research was written it was hard to understand what they were trying to explain. Either way, it was rarely seen but apparently whenever it did appear in front of someone it was very playful and loved to play tricks on people.

Mew was the only other Pokémon known to use the move transform, where it took on the image of another beast. Ditto, the man made Pokémon, is such thought to be a failed attempt at recreating the legendary mew.

Mewtwo, was a more successful attempt to create a clone of Mew, for research purposes. Drawings were scattered throughout the pages of Oak's work. Depicting a humanoid figure with a long tail and two spinal cords. The lab it had been created in was destroyed with 180 casualties and almost all information about the man made creature was destroyed in the exploding lab. It used telepathy to speak with humans according to the information that had been saved... only eyewitness testimonials to its power... of those who survived, all believe it was Mewtwo who had destroyed the lab - killing all the professors and assistants.

The Pokémon had escaped and was now in hiding somewhere, likely in Kanto.

I want to find it.

The rest of the day was spent surveying the wildlife just west of Lavender Town. Oak provides both of us and a small group of assistants a helicopter ride to the area. I searched for growlithe and tried to tag at least two girls and two boys with trackers.

The only thing I could think about while looking at all the growlithe was my father's pet of the species. I struggled to focus on counting the population as my mind drifted to wonder about my mother's wellbeing.

I would have to call her again, check up on the whole situation.

Most of the work I did with Oak was relatively similar to the things I did the first two days. I learned a lot about the native species of Kanto, and helped to put away some new found information about some rarer species.

I'd explored the safari zone very thoroughly, seeing Pokémon that couldn't be seen outside of the 'playground' as easily, at least in Kanto. I certainly recognized a lot of them from Alola. We studied the interactions between humans and Pokémon by interviewing with various trainers, people with pets, and businesses that used Pokémon for various tasks. I helped a few of the assistants to put together a quick report on our findings. I got a chance to explore Mt. Moon much more thoroughly then I had when I transversed it myself. Finding some new areas and tunnels that I hadn't seen when I was only looking through the caves.

All of the time spent traveling across Kanto had exhausted me by the final night of my week with Oak. I'd spent most of the time after what Green had deemed 'work' for me, just lying in bed and listening to music. Recounting all the different things I'd done and seen already was amazing to me. I still had another five months to do similar things and I couldn't even imagine what events would unfold as I traveled and met new faces and Pokémon.

I was packing up my things from the borrowed dressers when Green suddenly burst in the room, a bag over his own shoulder. "One more day with gramps, huh?"

"Yep!" I passed him a small smile, "thanks for letting me stay here."

"You kidding, kid? It was a joy." He chuckled, "You’re always welcome to stay with Daisy and me."

"Thanks! Maybe I'll come back then. Maybe I'll come by every week." I joked. I stuffed a tightly rolled up ball of undergarments into my bag, hoping the man standing in the doorway wouldn't notice.

"Uh, let's not over use my generosity here." He affirmed warily, his eyebrows low and judgmental before realizing I was only kidding. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again, his tone taunting. "So you know what this means, right?" He said with a sly expression on his face. Sliding around the doorway so he was officially in the room, leaning against the wall.

I stared at him quizzically, "no, what?"

"Seafoam Island soon!" He half sang, the sound falling into more laughter.

I actually jumped with excitement, dropping my bag so nearly all the contents spilled out. "Oh! Right! I want to find that legendary bird in there."

"Ha! Fat chance." His voice was loud enough to make my ears ring. "It's nearly impossible to get to the bottom of the caves."

I returned a sly grin in his direction, "I can make it down there."

His hazel eyes rolled, over dramatic. "Sure, sure."

Note: So this is kind of a super uneventful chapter and I apologize for that. I may just post chapter five later today, to make up for that. To continue off of that... Could you guys let me know what you think of length for these chapters? I'm conflicted about how much to post at a time. :c So two things - do you guys want chapter five tonight/tomorrow? (Next chapter is posted!) and what do you guys want to see with length for chapters? (For reference, this chapter was around 6 pages long. Chapter three was a whopping 13-14) Thanks!

[bizarrebird]

As mentioned, I’m still on my Buffy kick, so I’m gonna continue with my live blogging. Fair warning, I may skip some episodes because they’re... not great or too Xander centric for my tastes. But I don’t think anyone’s gonna read these who isn’t familiar with the series so you probably know why I’m skipping the ones I am.

Anyway, onto Season 2, Episode 2: Some Assembly Required

First, I just wanna say, I’m really dumb cause I thought this was the episode where Spike and Dru show up and stuff gets good but SURPRISE THAT’S NOT TILL EPISODE THREE FFFFFFUUUUUUUU

So we start with Buffy in a graveyard (we start here a lot, idk if it’s the same graveyard all the shots here are so fucking dark you can’t tell what anyth) waiting for a new vamp to rise from his grave. Angel appears out of nowhere, startling her because, as Buffy points out, he never learned to approach people like a normal person. Angel makes a comment about how he expected Buffy to have Xander or someone with her.

And okay, there’s a lot to unpack in this conversation, the parts that happen before and after they get interrupted by random vampire of the week. Don’t wanna spend the whole liveblog on this, so I’m gonna bullet point the important things

Angel giving Buffy shit for dancing with Xander, but refusing to admit he’s jealous cause Angel is a tool (this is a recurring theme)

Buffy saying she just did it to make Angel jealous, probably cause he’s a tool and never wants to talk about his feelings (also a recurring theme)

Vague slutshamey talking about the dancing which is super uncomfy

Angel calling Xander ‘just a kid’ which has a lot of just... super creepy implications, which are like almost addressed when Buffy asks if that means she’s a kid too, but we don’t get an answer to that (for the record she’s 16 and Angel is super fucking old, yeah I gotta talk about this later in another post)

Angel just tries to go cause he’s a little shit baby who makes Buffy do like 80% of the work in their relationship

Alright, there’s a lot of expansion that can be done on all this, but a lot of it’ll probably happen in liveblogging future episodes.

SO ANYWAY as Buffy goes to chase after Angel (like he always makes her do), she falls into an open grave and they realize the body has been dragged away, starting this investigation into the ‘monster of the week’ as we go to OPENING CREDITS

As the cool music fades we go to Buffy and Xander walking into the library to find Giles talking to an empty chair, practicing how to ask out Jenny Calendar. It’s actually pretty cute and I love awkward nerd dad Giles and Buffy sasses him in a charming way... which Xander then makes super weird, leading to the very, very warranted line from Buffy: “I fear you.” You should fear him, Buffy. You and every other female character in this show. Buffy goes on to give Giles some advice about asking Jenny out, which is sweet, while Xander is a tool.

Buffy then starts talking about the grave she and Angel found. Xander of course has to comment on her being there with Angel, y’know the guy Buffy has a legit on and off again thing with, who she has every right to hang out with without you judging her Xander, shut your gross mouth. Buffy continues to explain stuff and they decide to get Willow to look into the missing body, cause I guess this was the 90s and no one else knows how computers work

Willow we find being adorable and signing up for a science fair where random creepo of the week (I think he’s called Erik???? idk he’s gross so I don’t wanna acknowledge him more than I absolutely have to. Isn’t it wild that a feminist show has so many just casually creepy dude characters? I wonder what that’s about, Joss) Less creepy rando of the week, Chris, shows up and has a nice chat with Willow (too bad we’re going to forget he exists after this episode) Then light of my life, queen of my heart Cordelia shows up to also do the science fair cause the writers needed to find a reason to get her into this plot where she’s gonna get creeped on a whole bunch, great. Buffy shows up for Scoobie bizz and Cordy and Willow go with her, conveniently missing the super cryptic lines the episode randos drop in the middle of a crowded school hallway, but I guess none of the extras can hear so no one calls the cops

Cut to the library where everyone except Willow is scared of the witchcraft that makes the computer work, so she looks up the missing dead girl. Cordelia doesn’t care what they’re doing, but follows along anyway cause the writers kinda want her to be in the Scoobie gang but can’t figure out how to make it happen. She also drops some big foreshadowing that no one listens to because no one in this show appreciates her the way I do. Willow finds that their missing dead girl was killed in an accident with two other girls, so they decide to see if their bodies are gone too as Giles runs through creepy theories about flesh eating demons or zombies. Buffy briefly mentions Angel and Xander shoves his own foot up his ass in protest

We then go to the graveyard where Giles and Xander dig up the grave while Buffy and Willow talk about boys (will we pass the bechdel test this episode? we just don’t know) Buffy gets shamed more for her ‘sexydance’ with Xander and then she asks about the foreshadowing Cordelia dropped earlier and Willow turns into an exposition fairy to talk about Chris’s dead brother, who totally isn’t related at all to the dead bodies being dug up now. Buffy opens up the coffin and we cut to--

Cordelia heading to her car after cheer practice, only to be stalked by a mysterious pair of shoes in the most ripped from a horror movie scene this episode. She hides in a dumpster only to realize the creep following her is actually Angel, who still doesn’t know how to not terrify people he’s trying to talk to. As she’s getting out o the dumpster, Cordelia finds a severed hand trying to cop a feel

The gang gets back to the library where Angel and Cordelia are hanging out (probably planning their spin off already) and Xander and Angel are stupid at each other because that’s the only kind of interaction these two can ever have. Angel tells them about the body parts in the dumpster, which apparently he looked at enough to know some bits are missing, throwing out all the theories the scoobies came up with. He says that the stitching was super good and Giles makes the (very justified) point that high schoolers shouldn’t know how to do that, but apparently they like to stitch up bodies in the science club, so it’s time to break into some lockers. Cordelia asks Angel to take her home and it’s weird for everyone (also Angel’s wearing a really weird jacket right now, it’s khaki and makes him look like a business man who just got laid off and is super bummed that means he can’t sneak around with his secretary anymore)

We then go to Chris’s house where his mom is clearly grieving, but still awful. Now okay, this scene is super short, but very good at establishing everything we need to know about Chris’s homelife, so points there. Back to the school for breaking into people’s lockers. Chris and creepo are found to have lots of medbooks and the creepiest fucking frankengirl made out of pictures from magazines or something. We then go to Chris and creepo in their secret lab where they’re frankensteining the girl bits together

And now we go to the school where Buffy rightly says how messed up this is and Xander opens his mouth to word vomit about love and it’s so weird how his mouth moves but Whedon’s words come out and shit all over female characters. Then we get some cute flirting with Giles and Jenny and he stutters a whole bunch and she asks him out and it’s a genuinely sweet moment (this is when we feel the Whedon destruction of happiness hammers looming. Remember kids, Joss Whedon hates happiness)

Willow tries to do research while Xander’s a dumbass, then Buffy gets there and they discuss the possibilities of frankengirl already being shambling around, only for Giles to get there and say that all three dead heads have been found, so Chris and creepy haven’t finished the job yet. We go to them, talking about how they’ve gotta move fast cause there’s a time limit before the limbs start being extra super dead. Creepy wants to kill a girl and Chris is like ‘dude what the fuck, I’m not doing that’ and it’s revealed that his super dead brother is now a frankenjock and these guys can just... bring people back from the dead??? For a show where people drop like flies, you’d think this would get a little more focus, but no. Super dead bro just wants an equally horrifying lady friend and manages to football talk Chris into agreeing to murder. Dead guy looks at creepy’s pictures and he picks Cordelia (cause it’s been almost an episode since she’s been kidnapped, gotta tick that box again)

The Scoobies meanwhile realize that Chris and creepy have to kill a new girl to get a head and Buffy’s the only one appropriately enraged by this. Willow tries to argue sympathy for Chris, which Buffy doesn’t seem to go for until she goes to Chris’s house and gets an idea of how shit his situation is with his mom. Buffy goes to check out Chris’s weird basement room while dead bro looms, she finds a creepy cut up picture of Cordy and rushes to the rescue. Meanwhile Cordelia gets menaced and kidnapped in the locker room but Buffy shows up just in time to save her. Then Cordelia, cause she’s a fucking pro, insists on going out for cheerleading stuff, gotta lead all those fuckin cheers

Buffy realizes Chris is still there and does try to sympathize, but tells him he’s gotta knock off the creepy shit. Chris plays the pronoun game saying he has to do this for “him” until Buffy realizes he means his dead brother. We briefly see said brother smashing everything and attacking creepy until he says he can make him the lady friend on his own. Buffy and Chris get back to the hidey hole too late and realize dead bro and creepy are still going after my sweet Cordelia

At the football game we see Giles and Jenny on their date, her actually calling it that and making Giles go all awkward. But then the cockblock crew shows up and Willow and Xander steal Giles’s food instead of... y’know, worrying about the potential frankenteen stuff going on. Cordelia gets statched by the dead guy and dragged off while the crowd is distracted by the bizarrely shiny yellow pants the football players are wearing. Buffy and Chris get there a little too late and then we see Cordelia with the creeps and she screams a lot, which... fair Cordy, me too

Chris tells Buffy where to find Cordelia. Apparently they’re just doing this in an old science lab??? .Chris goes to get backup and Buffy goes for the save. She real quickly tries to talk things down, cause she does sympathize with Chris, but when deaders goes to attack Cordy, Buffy goes for the ass kick. The fight goes on for a really, really long time cause this guy won’t get staked. The lab starts catching on fire as Xander gets there and (being useful for the first time this episode, no this season) goes to get a tied up Cordelia out (or he tries to, he can’t undo the fucking straps holding her down on her weird gurney thing, just ignoring all the knives and cutting tools like a foot away cause why use his thinkerbox for anything other than petty quips)

Giles and Willow get there and remove an unconscious creepy. Xander just... he fucking throws himself onto a still screaming Cordelia, giving up getting her untied and just wheels them out because the lab is on too much fire now. This knocks the gurney where the rest of the bits of the would be frankengirl are into the biggest fire. Dead bro is about to super smash Buffy when Chris gets there and yells at him.

This makes him notice the burning body and he just... really awkwardly climbs on top of it and gets redeaded in the fire. And it’s kinda sad but he’s been super creepy this whole episode and no one will remember this later

Outside the fire department gets there a little before Angel does (still wearing his weird khaki outfit like he forgot his middle and last names are “I’ll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color”) And he just... stands there for a bit until we cut to Giles and Jenny talking about a second date. I’m sure that will go well and there won’t be any drama

Xander and Willow talk about how they’re sad and dateless for some reason. Well, Xander says that because he’s a clod and Willow humors him because she’s a soft lovely lady who hasn’t realized there are better options out there yet (soon, honey, soon) Cordelia, who has been temporarily possessed by Joss Whedon, tries to flirt at Xander a little, but he’s dumbass and just brushes her off

Cordelia makes the greatest face ever and is temporarily released from the mild insanity that makes her think Xander is anything more than a terrible worm boy (this won’t last and I hate that)

Now we close out on the same graveyard where we started (wow, neat, such closure, much meaning wow) There’s also this weird cut to a closeup where Sarah Michelle Gellar is clearly standing on a box as Angel talks about how he is in fact jealous of Xander. Progress! I guess. He talks about how being a vampire is suffering cause it makes dating a teenager hard

I joke, but okay, this is a sweet scene and a nice way to bookend the episode, and this is coming from Bangelhater69 over here

FINAL THOUGHTS: In terms of advancing the plot, not a whole lot happens, but there are some good character and relationship moments here, so it’s definitely not all bad. But hey guys SPIKE GETS HERE NEXT EPISODE!!!!

[hellotvv]

Life Update

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted. The last time I posted was the first day of this semester, and now it’s basically two weeks in. Have things changed a lot? I’d say, not really. But life has been good definitely.

Today is a rainy day, so I’m in a mood to finally write and idk vent some feelings. Today, I’ve slept in for a while. I ate lunch and then showered and met up with Rebecca. The reason why I met up with Rebecca is because she’s auditioning for Mulan and needs photos of her. She asked if I could take photos of her and I was like sure. So I got over to her place at like 3:30 and it was a pretty cloudy cold day. We walked around to the beach near Manzanita (one of the 2nd year dorms), it’s a meh beach. I took photos of her, asked her about her classes, winter break, and etc. Since although we have math together this quarter, I haven’t really seen her. But she’s Kai’s ochem lab partner this quarter tho. It was nice talking to her. She asked if there’s any new gossip going on with my life, and I was like haha nah. Apparently I have pretty friends tho, so my next gf has to be pretty since I must have high standards according to her. I was like nah, I’m pretty chill tbh in terms of looks. I’m definitely more of a personality person. I asked her if anything is new with her love life, and she says she likes being single a lot. She asked about Stefanie actually, and I told her I haven’t really talked to Stefanie since August. Apparently Rebecca heard gossip about Stefanie o.o I was like oh and told me some stuff? I wonder who told her such gossip o.o. She asked if I met Helen before, since she’s good friends with Helen. I told her that I met Helen once at a USC party lol. Then Rebecca treated me to a starbucks frap and drove me to my house, which was nice of her. Since her place is a bit far (walking wise at least) from my place. Then I chilled, ate dinner with my friend Bryan, made some plans with him, and yeah. He asked if I was going to Bharat’s party tonight, but I honestly wasn’t feeling it today. I know I didn’t go out Friday, but idk this week is like one of those weeks where I just wanna stay in my room and be by myself. I’ve been pretty good about hanging out with my SB friends and there’s like a groupme with all 12 of us in it now lol. On Friday, they went to watch a horror movie, but I wasn’t feeling like going. I actually thought about just going to the movie theaters by myself and watching La La Land by myself. I never watched a movie by myself, but it feels like it could be a nice thing just going and watching by myself. Idk I heard La La Land is good and I really wanna watch it. So yeah, today, I just kinda chilled in doors and had a good day at home. Idk I just enjoy those lazy rainy days indoors and cuddling up in bed. Also I played some Overwatch with my friend Ann (from back home) and it was cool. Also Rebecca + Lindsay (her housemate) both recently said we should hang out more, and I agreed we should haha. 

As for general updates overall... School’s been going good, nothing to complain about yet. I got a new lab partner in ochem, but she’s like idk the most unsocial lab partner yet? Like she doesn’t make any small talk like oh how’s your day, what classes are u taking, etc etc. Idk I’ve had some cool lab partners like my MCDB1C lab partner last year :( and my lab partner last quarter is pretty cool. I see him at parties sometime still haha and we say hi and what’s up and stuff. But yeah, can’t complain about classes yet. Going to be studying for them tomorrow! As for friends, idk if I’ve made new friends exactly just yet. I still keep in touch with Hope and Fyona. Fyona and I text pretty much every day and facetime fairly often just for fun. We’re like best friends and it’s cool. Catherine, I still snapchat every now and then, but haven’t really talked to her. Kristy is taking ochem lab and I see her now and then with Jessica. We all ate ramen with Brent, Bharat, Henry, and Bryan just like last week! Idk there’s so much to update, even tho it’s just been a bit. Uhm... School okay, maybe stressed about future when it gets to like 4th year and stuff. But I guess just gotta take life one step at a time sometimes. I’ve became decent friends with one of my models Cindy! We made plans to shoot sometime in the future. My photography ig has been doing some good growth :D it’s at nearly 800 followers~ and I still get hit up by models randomly asking to shoot with me still, which is cool. Outside of the shoot with Rebecca today, I haven’t really shot lately. But I might in February with Sabrina in Fyona, maybe a future shoot with Cindy again, uhh random models potentially, and this one photographer that wants to link up and he works near SB. Idk photography going well! As for sm4sh, there’s no tournaments recently. But this week was the Arcadian on Thursday, which is a tournie where no PR players can play in. I’m legit ranked 3 in SB, so I can’t play haha. But Brent played and I went to support him + gave him some coaching. He ended up getting top 8, which is really good. It had like 70 ppl!! Uhh, I still keep up with my friend Jia. Kai and I are doing fine, she liked her expensive xmas gift that she chose. She’s getting a roommate still, and she hasn’t really been home this entire week. The roommate is prob gonna be some random, idk who or when they’ll move in. But I’ll miss having the house to myself T_T ahhh. Hopefully they won’t be a bad housemate D:  I play overwatch with my boi Alan still now and then. I haven’t really bought clothes in a while, so no progress there. As for clothing brand, it’s made some progress. Henry is a lagger with vectorizing the designs ahhh. Since we have one good design :( and just want it already done. But we got 3 samples of a pretty basic shirt that says, “No Sleep”. It’s to be like edgy and fit our sad boy theme. Like you can interpret it in a lot of ways. Like oh no sleep, since we’re up late crying or thinking. Or if you wear it to the gym, it’ll be hardcore like damn this guy going hard, no sleep!! But yeah :3 I did the designs for that and we got 3 samples being shipped to me. If it’s good, then we’ll do an order for a couple more to sell to friends. Mostly waiting for Henry to finish the graphic design for our first real tee. Then maybe we’ll have a launch party + make a website + ig. Then once we have another design done, then we’ll start to advertise it I guess lol. So clothing brand going okie. These past two weeks, I did go to friend parties, ate dinner/lunch with friends, go to the gym and etc. Oh right. So I’ve been really really good about my diet this week. I’ve tracked my calories and ate reallly well in terms of eating at a calorie deficit. Last week I was pretty good too, but this week damn I’ve been really good. It’s hard a bit, but life style change yo. I’ve been hitting the gym occasionally too, so that should help! Just wait 1-2 more months yo :D gonna be way more fit and super happy with my appearance. My skin has been good lately, so that’s going for me! But yeah been improving fitness wise ever since I got back to school. I guess I don’t really have much to complain about. I have good friends that invite me to things, so I have the option to decide whether or not go out haha. I have buddies for lunch/dinner if I want. I have gym buddies like Brent/Bharat/Shannie/Brooke. Been doing good progress on every aspect I guess of my life, and nothing bad happened at all lately. So I guess I gotta appreciate more when things are just content or good. But yeah, brief summary I guess about how I’m doing, there’s probably a bunch more stuff that I haven’t thought of. I think I’m going home next week for Lunar New Years :O I also have midterms next week .-. 

As for my love life.. Hmhm, that’s a bit more tricky in some ways. I guess similar to Rebecca. I think I finally got to a point where I’m definitely okay and fine being single. I legit have made 0 attempts on looking for a gf, and been mostly focused on myself for once. I definitely think I’m making some progress on myself and working even more on improving myself in mental/physical/etc aspects. I have gained back more confidence in myself as well. I definitely think I could be a great SO as well. Like I’d like to think that I’m fairly knowledgeable about relationships. I’ve done some reflecting and learned from mistakes on what to do/not to do and I hink I’ve improved in how I treat ppl/myself/etc as well! But hey, I’m the type of dude that would drive hours just to see a SO for an hour or even 30 minutes. I’m the type of guy that would genuinely cherish them, try to keep interest by flirting with them, show them love/affection through words + actions, give small gifts now and then, treat them to every meal if possible, drive them around, try to find new places for adventures, make plans with them, make sacrifices for them, try to get into their hobbies, pull all nighters for them, try to give amazing gifts, try to plan/throw great life milestone events, and etc. So I guess I’m confident in my ability on being a good SO, so I’m not shying away from relationships. But I’m not necessarily going out of my way to look for one. I’m trying for once to focus on myself and improve myself, be happy on my own, and become an even better person for myself and I guess maybe future SO as well. But yeah, not in the place in my life, where I can’t be vulnerable anymore. Definitely at a good place, where I could take risks and be vulnerable and open my heart again, if I wanted to. But no real big motivation to go out of my way to look for a SO or anything rn. If it happens, it happens. I guess semi-related to my love life, is that my ex Kristy randomly followed my theo.centric ig account o: we haven’t talked in maybe almost a year? So I’m surprised she followed me, but I followed back since whateverz. Nothing came out of it tho, still haven’t talked, and it’s been a while since uh she followed me (maybe a week)? As for Stefanie. Honestly, I miss her still a bit to this day. I guess I’m fine being single and would be open to dating other people. Yet for whatever reason, I still miss her deep down in my heart... I guess I just went through so much and spent so much time with her and was so used to having her in my life, that it’s hard without her sometimes. I guess I shouldn’t in some ways, since sigh some of the things she did to me... But idk... :( I can’t help it... I guess even tho I’ve ‘moved on’, the way things were/things ended just never sat well with me to this day like closure was kinda reached but not really... I guess in an ideal world, maybe she would have loved me more and looked only at me.. Oh well, life. Idk I guess it’s late and just in an eh mood. Idk it’s crazy, since I’ve broken up with Kristy/broke off short things with so and so, but I guess I never think about them this long after a break up... Idk why it’s like this with Stetefanie now... She was so mean to me too :( sigh. Maybe one last emotional update later. A bit sleepy now and I guess that’s all for now. I’m good, maybe sad a bit sometimes at night, improved myself, working on all my hobbies + school, and yeah.