Tumgik
#it’s the ex-catholic in me
feministteapot · 2 months
Text
Found the funniest billboard I've ever seen in Milwaukee this weekend
Tumblr media
Peta sucks but this is so funny
3K notes · View notes
fuckingwhateverdude · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
@nosebleedclub / sept. #9
451 notes · View notes
cemeterything · 1 year
Note
DUDE, re: that post you reblogged about pigeons and doves, do you know of the Luzon bleeding heart (Gallicolumba luzonica)?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
if i was this bird i'd prank people by clutching my chest and stumbling around and screaming "oh god it hurts so bad! oh fuck somebody help me!" and then sitting up and laughing at their faces when they realize they got totally bamboozled
3K notes · View notes
kedsandtubesocks · 1 month
Text
be your hallowed ground
Demon!Ezra x F!Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: 1700’s. the journey home before you is long, weary, and you are alone… but not for long
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI. colonial era inspired AU, inexperienced!reader, religiously raised reader, historical/societal period negative views of women, major supernatural elements, religious discussions along with Christian imagery & mentions of scripture, Ezra’s use of petnames, heavy corruption kink, possessive!Ezra, finger sucking, wound kissing and one small moment of blood consumption, Ezra lifts reader with his demon strength (reader has no physical description), intense kissing & spicy moments, f!oral receiving, light overstimulation, briefest mention of Ezra watching/stalking, sacrilegious themes, dark & spooky vibes
word count: 7.9k
a/n: so this is my first Ezra fic & i blame this AU on my ex catholic school kid roots along with playing too much cult of the lamb bcs here we are lol I wouldn’t be here without the ones who paved the way/inspired me to take the jump to write Ezra so thank you @morallyinept @julesonrecord & @lowlights for being true lovely guides, also to @pastelle-rabbit @haylzcyon & @ahauntedcowboy for letting me scream/cry about this lol I love each & every one of y’all - and to you, if you decide to take a peek and read, thank you so much ♡
Tumblr media
The forest stretches out far, daunting.
Twilight glimmers on the last of her heels and you hope to return home soon. You can almost hear your father’s anger at your stubbornness for not staying at the inn for another night and for simply being on this journey in the first place. You should’ve saved up for a carriage ride home.
Now, alone in the woods, you fear the tree branches will soon reach down to claw you into their canopy cluster above.
Deeper and further you walk through the forest path. You haven’t prayed much recently. But you faintly remember words urging you to not fear the terror of night, nor the danger that prowls in the darkness, and you’re gently eased. You also think of the early spring blooms scattered among the town waiting for you.
Then a branch cracks behind you, the sound of someone stepping on it, and you stop.
The trek has been silent, eerily so. Not even bird chirps or the wind’s breeze has filled your space. Yet it now sounds like something approaches.
You whip around.
No one stands behind you. Only the dirt and dust linger in the air.
The woods must be clouding you with unnecessary dread. You’ve walked these roads alone before and you will walk them again even though the forest seems darker now.
Determined, and slightly frightened, you spin on your heels to quickly return on your journey.
“There you are, turtle dove.”
The voice startles you so suddenly you almost collapse. Strangely accented, the thick drawl flows heavy with a twang of someone from the wild southern territories.
Your heart beats fast like a petrified rabbit and your eyes snap towards the source of the voice.
Leaning against a large tree is the most exquisite man you ever believe to be crafted.
Dressed in a striking coat, a beautifully sharp nose and dark facial hair, he’s ethereal. You also spot the most interesting tuff of white blonde hair against his dark chestnut locks. What’s startling are his magnetic inky eyes staring at you.
“I don’t know you, good sir.” You politely reply.
The man smiles like a fox creeping around a chicken coop.
“Ezra is my given name, turtle dove. Now we’re no longer strangers.”
His name - Ezra.
Like his name suggests you wonder if maybe he’s here to provide aid, your personal blessing.
Yet his words flutter out duplicitous and heavy like something dangerous chains around them down.
“Then good day to you, sir.” You nod, a polite reply, and decide to withhold your name.
“May I accompany you on your journey?” He suggests surprisingly gentle, his words olive branch-like offers.
You ask him where he is even headed, and for what brings a well speaking, slightly suspicious, man as himself into these woods.
“The same as you, sweet bird,” Ezra replies simply. “We all have our journeys to be upon. Mine just happens to coincide with yours. A rather fortuitous blessing if I do say so myself.”
Your eyes narrow. Something scratches at the back of your mind urging you to keep walking and pay no heed to this man.
But then the wind picks up.
From a soft breeze it quickly transforms into the strangest howl, like a warning of the dangers lurking all around. In a slight panic your eyes survey your surroundings. This man might be a stranger, but having company might not be such a bad choice.
“Come now.” Ezra comments reassuring and steady even among the howling winds. “These woods are wild and deep, ain’t no place for a treasure such as yourself.”
He is handsome, the most stunning man you may ever see. And the glimmer in his eyes seems to beckon you.
After you quietly nod, your journey expands by one.
With a gracious bow of his head, the man from the shadows falls into step beside you.
The wind suddenly, but thankfully, settles. However, tension prickles against your skin and a strange warmth blooms from the center of your chest.
“So, what’s a lovely angel like yourself doing here, a babe in the woods?” Ezra begins.
Your fingers tighten against your cloak while the truth stays sealed tight.
The man chuckles.
“Don’t go shy on me now, sweet dove,” he teases.
You huff annoyed. However, seeing as how you will be traveling with him until you return home, you decide to engage with him.
Your dearest friend moved to the next town when you both became fully grown. She fell in love with a married man in a loveless marriage to a cruel woman. Because of that your friend was condemned to banishment. Now, she’s with child. Some even whisper the child was maybe even convinced due to witchcraft.
However, with the recent passing of your town’s relentless head clergyman, you hope this will help improve the situation.
Ezra listens patiently, letting you quietly explain everything.
“And so you traveled to visit your dear friend like a kind emissary.” He notes. “Your town must be in an uproar over you visiting her.”
“They are.” You answer stiffly.
Your father absolutely detests it. Even the governor’s son, who has shown interest in courting you, has made it known that your lenient position doesn’t help towards a marriage possibility. But you won't falter in your loyalty. Especially after your faith has been so shaken from seeing the harsh treatment given to your friend.
“A fair decision.” Ezra agrees. “All those upset are fools anyway. Seems they forgot the good book even mentions how cherished a gift it is to forgive others just as the lord forgives us.”
He quotes scripture so passively it surprises you. He doesn’t seem like a spiritual type. If anything, Ezra seems like a man who slinks around the shadows late at night among the thieves and brothels hidden at the edge of town.
“You’re right,” you agree with him. “Who are we to judge others on simple matters of passion compared to our lord, especially to condemn it?”
“Lust is considered a grave sin though, dear birdie, so I understand why.” He quietly answers while his words scurry over your skin. “After all, look at the predicament it entangled your dear friend in.”
“And don’t passions of the flesh wage war against the solemnity of the soul?” Ezra politely answers lightly referring to scripture and you wonder if he is a man devoted to the good book.
So you reserve your words again.
“Please… do not silence your song, biride.” Ezra coos.
“Now, tell me your thoughts,” he whispers low.
As you swallow hard, your skin feels tight against your bones. But you decide to speak freely, as dangerous as it may be.
“It’s true that my friend committed a terrible sin.” You begin with a shaky sigh. “I understand her punishment. But for others to be so cruel when faith says to forgive and embrace salvation feels hypocritical.”
“True indeed. And as you said, all this for the sake of condemning passion? There are worse commandments to shatter under heaven’s watchful eye.” Ezra drawls out.
“Exactly.” You agree with a firm nod more at ease with your new companion.
“Besides… isn’t the act of creation an offspring of passion?” He challenges and the thought stuns you.
The stranger is correct and his perception moves you.
You’ve never engaged in such discussions like this with anyone before, especially not with a man. You noticed he speaks to you like an equal, never diminishing your ideals or fully trampling on your opinions.
Something greedy urges you to slow down your step and spend as much time with your new companion.
“So, is there a husband of yours waitin’ at home to meet you with passions, dear dove?” Ezra asks with the curl of intrigue in his voice and you almost choke on a gasp.
“A rather forward question to ask a stranger.” You snap back sharply and glare at him.
Ezra keeps his abyss eyes drawn forward and doesn't seem bothering at your reply or the discussion matter he brought up.
“Thought we established we’re no longer strangers?” Your stranger mutters back.
“We’ve discussed religion, the ways of the hearts and their passions. Only good friends touch on such topics, yes?”
He’s unbearably confident, and he knows it. You want to storm off, maybe even demand him to leave. But you can’t do it. You almost can’t endure the thought of him leaving now.
So you reply stiffly. “No. I have no husband at home.”
“Truly?” He now squawks confused.
“Ain’t that a damn shame.” He purrs. “A creature lovely as yourself deserves to be worshiped every minute you’re here among this green earth.”
Your heart thumps erratic against its cage.
“Are you mocking me, good man Ezra, for not being married?” You deflect with a shaky voice.
“Never, turtle dove.” He reassures. “I believe the ultimate sin is to be denied any shade of passion.”
“Especially for a beauty marvelous as yourself.” He exhales and his voice dances devilishly.
An uneasiness settles into your legs, like your body could give out at any moment.
“What you say is blasphemy,” you manage to reply, however your voice wavers. “A heathen's words.”
“I could’ve recounted the same about you moments ago when you spoke your thoughts.” He mutters back.
Your heart drops. He’s correct. This man has your thoughts tied up in so many knots and you cannot find a path within yourself.
“No need to worry.” Ezra says. “Treading into heathen’s territory is never frightful when you have a companion.”
You don’t know how you feel about this conversation or where it seems to be heading towards. Your gaze turns to Ezra. He continues staring ahead composed.
He’s a strange unorthodox man, an anomaly, someone you never believed existed.
“Now tell me… have you tasted desire, my sweet turtle dove?”
His eyes now move to you, catching you staring red handed. Like an exposed thief, your gaze flies away from him.
His question, as if composed of thorns, constricts around your throat refusing to let you answer.
You’ve tasted it on the tips of your tongue. One of your old childhood friends became a courtesan at a brothel. During her nights off, you’d sneak out to visit her. She recounted with giggles about the various sexual escapades she’s experienced. It made your mouth water wishing for the embrace of a lover, to understand what it meant to be truly desired.
You’ve been tempted to fall into bed with the blacksmith’s brother but once you discovered his cruel treatment of the women in town you were soured by the thought. So during the late nights alone your fingers slipped under the quilts and you would find a sticky taste of passion.
Getting caught up in your thoughts keeps you quiet.
“When I was a younger man and lived in France.” Ezra begins with a sudden gentle musing, the voice of a storyteller almost. “Even when I migrated here to the southern territories, I learned of an interesting turn of phrase.”
“La petite mort.” The words flow from him beautifully, rolled with such finessed precision. Hearing him speak sparks a jolt up your spine.
“I’m not quite sure you know of it, but do you know what it means?”
Your eyes that had glazed over are now back on Ezra. His devastatingly beautiful face remains serene.
“The literal translation is ‘a little death.’” Ezra continues. “But what it speaks of is the little moment of feeling as if you’re dying when experiencing true orgasmic release, something that makes us see god.”
His words, hanging with a thinly concealed desire, rip through you and a slickness slowly pools between your legs.
Now his eyes flicker to you.
“A pleasure so rapturous we taste a little death.” He mutters looking so intently at you that you want to scurry and hide away.
But you can’t. You’re drawn into his gaze, a poor moth entrapped by his erratic flame, and you’re not quite sure if this fire is hellfire.
Rationale within you screams this man could be a robber or could be leading you into his sticky web to simply harm you. Yet it seems like he could vanish into smoke.
You also notice you and Eza have both stopped walking. Now staring into his eyes, you discover storms in them.
Until an oncoming storm arrives all around. The wind erupts into howls. It whips around fast and you tug your cloak closer trying to stay warm against the gales.
Your face even scrunches up at the drastic change in the weather.
A firm hand moves to your back pulling you closer until you rest within the shade of a firm body. Ezra has drawn you into his side, lifting his cloak to cover you, and your eyes become full moons.
“To keep you sheltered from this weather. Though, we may need to hunt for some sanctuary soon.” He mutters.
He smells of pine, like the forest itself gave him to you. However you also catch the smallest hint of something smoky, like he slept too close to a campfire.
But, his words confuse you.
“Terrible weather? It’s simply just bad wind.” You yell against the wind and glance around the forest.
That’s when you notice how terrifyingly dark it’s gotten. The tree branches now stretch above like monstrous limbs crawling along the darkness.
How long have you been out along the trail? You haven’t even reached the halfway point to town. The woods now loom incredibly dark like a chasm ready to swallow you whole.
Then the drum of thunder comes, and the skies open up, as if on command by Ezra’s prophetic words. The rain unleashes a downpour. You squawk like a petrified bird at how soaked you’re getting even being covered by his coat.
“Come!” He cries over the storm keeping you close. “I believe there is shelter close by.”
So through the darkness you go, led by him off the path and deeper into the thicket.
How did he know a shelter was nearby? Shouldn’t he have come here earlier and left you on your journey? Or did he maybe sense the storm was coming and wanted to keep accompanying you.
The rush of the rain along with how quickly Ezra moves you and him feels as if you’re flying through the forest like your feet never once touch the ground.
Your body stops and out from the darkness, among the rain, stands the faint shape of a building.
Ezra guides you inside and you exhale relieved you’re out of the storm.
The stale smell of dust greets you first and makes your nose crinkle.
Looking out to your new makeshift shelter, you find yourself standing in a very abandoned church. Dried dead leaves scatter the floor. Vacant pews hold a hollow ghostly emptiness. You didn’t even know this chapel was here.
“How did you know of this place-” you turn to ask Ezra but discover you’re alone.
So focused on soaking in the church you didn’t even notice his departure.
“Ezra?” You call for him and silence replies.
Where could he have gone?
“Worry not.” Ezra’s voice floats out an echo. From the side of the sacristy, beside the main congregation hall, he emerges.
How did he get there without you noticing?
In his grasp is a lit candle. The flames create interesting shadows upon his handsome face as his molten eyes stare at you.
“Apologizes,” he reassured you with the ease of a saint. “Went to scavenge for some light.”
“Seems you were unsuccessful.” You dryly tease, walking towards where Ezra stands at the front of the congregation.
A slight tug of amusement comes over his heavenly face.
“We shall make camp here until the storm quells.”
No better place to find sanctuary than in a chapel, even though this one has seen better days.
Outside the wind continues rattling the windows while the rain creates a soothing melody. Yet, there is an emptiness here, like you can’t sense any sacred spirit within these walls. You wonder if the Lord maybe has even abandoned this space.
“Come rest with me, turtle dove.” Ezra beckons to you as he sits casually on the floor up besides the altar.
“You can’t sit there!” You whisper urgent.
“Why? Who is here to stop me?” Ezra counters with raised eyebrows and amused crinkled eyes.
“This is sacred ground! You can’t simply sit in the sanctuary like it’s some sort of encampment!” You argue.
“Biride,” Ezra begins. “This momentary shelter is merely a building. The same way all buildings are just simple creations of stone and labor.”
“Not buildings like this, especially when our lord resides here.” You reply like a dutifully faithful follower.
Ezra now sits up from his lax position to glance around. His eyes survey every inch of the space.
“You say our Heavenly Father is here. But tell me, turtle dove, do you sense his presence here?”
He noticed it too.
Your tongue becomes metal, heavy and bitter.
“Come,” he urges again, kinder now. “Rest. Your legs need their strength for the rest of your journey. It will be much more comfortable than those stuffy pews.”
You narrow your eyes at him, still hesitant. Defiant, you try sitting in one of the vacant pews only to find clusters of spider webs creating a slightly unnerving barrier. And you didn’t want to check every pew for availability. You were too tired.
Refusing to meet Ezra’s eyes you step past the pews, into the sanctuary, and delicately sit a small space away from your companion.
“See? Not so hard, and you didn’t even combust into flames sitting here.”
You glare at him while Ezra grins triumphant. Silence settles. But with a man who readily embraces the gift and curse of gab, it feels dangerous.
A small gurgle of a noise rumbles out and your face heats up horrified. You didn’t realize you hadn’t eaten this entire journey.
“A bit peckish, dear dove?” Ezra chuckles a smokey thing.
You’re about to grumble under your breath annoyed until he again peers around the abandoned church.
“Rather unfortunate there doesn’t seem to be any source of subsidence here.”
You quietly reassure him as you shift your cloak to reach for your covered satchel. Thankfully, your morsel of a wrapped loaf was spared from the rain.
“I have this for us to share.” You quietly announce.
Ezra gasps small but surprised.
“Divine goddess, you are salvation.” He breathes out.
“I am no goddess. No one person is divine in such a way.” You correct him.
The man hums. “If the maker created man in his image does that not mean we are shades of god in our own ways?”
Midway unfolding the bread out of the paper, you halt.
You never thought of it that way. It made sense. Slowly, it feels as if a wagon wheel is turning in your head leading you towards something you cannot reach.
“Sweet turtle dove,” Ezra calls to you. “Would you be so gracious and let me consecrate our feast?”
You’re stunned by the heartfelt request. This man seems to be a never ending labyrinth confusing you with no end in sight.
You slide closer to sit fully beside him. Readily you hand him the wrapped bread and try not to jump at his hand brushing yours. His skin is soft, warmed, and your knuckles tingle from the simple exchange.
“Thank you kindly.”
Now holding the bread in one hand, Ezra moves the other to lightly hover above the morsel. Closing his eyes in prayer, Ezra begins.
However, he mutters low and so fast that you can’t even catch a word of his prayer. You wonder if he even is saying anything or is simply mocking the form of prayer.
You’re about to chide him until he quickly finishes. Dreamily opening his eyes Ezra then simply breaks the bread into two.
“To break communion with someone lovely as you is an honor.” With a gracious grin, your stranger hands you a piece. You thank him with a soft mutter.
The storm continues its wrath and you arrive at a bleak conclusion. Your night will be spent here in this eerie abandoned church with this strange mysterious handsome man.
Resigning yourself to that, you sigh and take a bite out of the bread.
The bread was a simple one you got from the neighboring town’s bakery. It’s nothing special. You’ve even thought it rather stale at times.
However, the bread you taste now is indescribable.
It melts in your mouth, wonderfully soft and warm. There’s even the sweetest taste like a whisper of a fruit that reminds you of apples. An uncontrollable moan of satisfaction escapes you.
But your eyes widen realizing how you just acted.
Embarrassment floods you fast and you anxiously gaze at Ezra who smirks at you.
Unable to stare at him long, you turn back down to your lap. The bread looks exactly the same as it always does.
Is your mind so exhausted it believes this stale morsel now tastes this heavenly?
You must be imagining things.
Besides you, Ezra shuffles. Out of curiosity your eyes lift towards him and find the man shrugging off his coat.
He even removes his waistcoat to reveal his simple white slipover. Rain still lingers on his skin allowing the pristine white cloth to stick to him. Without the coat you’re given clear sight of his glorious neck.
A thought flutters into your mind.
You imagine sinking your teeth into his beautiful flesh and lapping up all the rain droplets.
Dread fills you.
How could you think such thoughts?
“Turtle dove,” Ezra’s voice shatters the silence almost making you jump.
“If you could create a world of your own, what would it look like?”
The question stumps you, even brings in a twinkle of curiosity. What would bring on such a question? You suppose it must be a way to break the silence and pass the time.
In thought, you hum a small noise.
“I think…” you quietly utter and let your thoughts flow.
You think of a world built on compassion, one without hunger or war, of one filled with peace and justice.
“And without sin, I suppose.” Ezra gently comments and your eyes turn to him.
He stares towards the ground with a peculiar look shadowed over his handsome face.
“Yes of course.” You answer. Sin is the root of all evil and corrupted humanity’s souls.
“What if I told you some sins are not all evil? And that what you long for, dear turtle dove, is not a world void is sin, but one free of guilt from it.”
Your face scrunches up a bit confused over his nebulous words.
“Should we not all live in indulgence?” Ezra adds, clarified in his words.
“Indulgence leads to corruption.” You reply parroting all the countless sermons that discussed this.
“If our creator didn’t want us to indulge, then why did he indulge in creating such a world so lush as this one?” Your stranger offers.
You try gathering a reply, thinking of all the lessons about how this world is meant to be seen in awe and appreciated. Not to indulge in. But now all your arguments seem to fall short, not even sound correct in your head.
Before you can press the discussion further Ezra leans closer towards you. Your thoughts and body become completely petrified.
You should lean away, lean back from his casual intimate movements.
But you can’t. Or, within the deep terror of your heart you know the truth. You don’t want to.
His thumb moves towards the corner of your mouth and you transform completely into stone.
Ezra’s ink eyes haze over while his thumb gently swipes against your skin.
“Crumbs.” He mutters, answering for his actions. Yet, his hand doesn’t leave.
You don’t shove him away or demand him to go. The downpour rattling the windows becomes the church’s only noise while you and this man sit in the stillness.
Ezra’s attention falls to your mouth.
His thumb now strokes the corner of your lips. You believe it’s to wipe more bread crumbs away. Then his thumb swipes across your bottom lip and a sharp inhale escapes you.
His eyes and yours find each other.
“You deserve to live in indulgence,” Ezra whispers deviously rich.
Your skin feels ablazed and your throat dries. Out of instinct or perhaps something darker you wet your lips. In that movement your lips press against his thumb and your tongue manages to swipe at his skin.
You’re rewarded the faintest taste of him, a crumb of his salty golden skin, and it’s like a thread slowly catches fire.
You want more, need it.
Possibly possessed now, your mouth opens up and simply slips more of his thumb into your mouth.
The moment the salty taste of him hits your tongue your eyes close.
Feeling his finger in your mouth against your tongue, against your teeth, is divine. His flesh must be coated with ambrosia because your mouth waters aching for more.
Heaven, or this must be a slice of it.
Until horror strikes you and you realize what you’re doing. Terrified eyes now open, you’re about to pull away and yelp horrified.
Ezra’s hand rapidly moves to cradle your face firm and slide his thumb deeper into your mouth.
“Oh my sweet bird,” he coos now closer to you. “You’ve tasted the pleasure I can give, the magic I can conjure. Don’t deny yourself this.”
His beautiful nose presses into the side of your face nuzzling against your skin and your eyes close. Bliss overtakes you.
“Now” his voice drops a dangerous lulling whisper. “Hollow your cheeks for me, and suck in.”
You do as told and the groan Ezra lets out vibrates deep past your skin. You even let out a whine.
You’ve heard the noises men make in the waves of passion, but this was decadent. You never knew a man could sound this beautiful.
You wanted to hear him even more. And knowing you did this to him? A syrupy drunken pride courses through you intoxicating.
You suck harder, allowing your tongue to caress his skin and Ezra exhales heavenly.
Before you can indulge any further, a creature screeches into the church and shatters the sensual spell. You shriek in terror and scramble. Wings furiously flapping come and out of reflex you cover your head.
Then a solid body collides into you and your world falls over.
You hit the floor of the sanctuary with a soft thud. It would’ve been a harder fall if not for Ezra’s hand cradling your head to soften the impact. Your eyes look up to find Ezra covering you, protecting you from whatever flew in.
Your heart thumps loud in your ears, a horrible drum drowning out your thoughts. His broad shoulders, firm frame, he really is a man crafted out of pure beauty and desire now that you’ve tasted his skin.
“Blasted bats… must’ve been nesting in here.” Ezra comments with a mutter while his eyes stay watching out.
Now you faintly hear the familiar chirps of the creatures. You hope they all leave soon or move to another area within the church.
Slowly the rustling settles. Ezra does not move from his post above you, a shield keeping you safe from the interrupting creatures.
His large hand cradling your head holds you gently but with a firmness that speaks of his control.
The strangest clash of sensations arrives. Like Eve awoken out of her blissful sin, you’re keenly aware of the cold clothes sticking to you. Particularly your wet cloak weighing on you sends a chill crawling up your skin making you squirm.
Ezra’s eyes slip back to you. The candlelight highlights the shadows of his face and his eyes seem deeper than before. Candlelight doesn’t even reflect in their abyss.
Until his obsidian eyes go wide in a slight panic.
“Your wing, turtle dove.”
Now confused you shift to lift your arm up. A small cut has ripped through your cloak and blouse sleeve. You didn’t even notice or feel it. Must have cut yourself on the old wooden floor below.
The church didn’t seem this dilapidated to have rotten wood floors. However, without upkeep, it only makes sense everything begins to splinter and decay. Thankfully the cut isn’t deep but dark crimson does stain the cloth.
“Oh,” you even mutter a bit stunned.
Gently Ezra shifts to help you up while being cautious of your wound.
“Are you in pain?” He asks, concerned.
“No.” You shake your head, truthfully telling him you didn’t even notice the cut.
Ezra delicately moves towards your arm. “May I?”
You nod quietly.
Gingerly, your mysterious stranger places his hands on you to further inspect your wound.
“It doesn’t hurt.” You reassure him.
Surprisingly, Ezra stays silent. His eyes remain on your arm. As if you’re an injured sparrow, he folds up your blouse sleeve delicately.
The faintest touch of his thumb strokes your bare skin and your throat constricts tight. This unknown mystery of a man tenderly touching you clutches at your soul.
“My creator, so heavenly in his wisdom,” he suddenly speaks low, like his voice is dipped in sticky honey. “Taught me this is how we heal wounds.”
Then Ezra draws your arm up and he leans down. And in that swift moment, he presses his lips to your wound.
A tender kiss.
Your breath hitches, tripping over itself. You indeed had his finger in your mouth moments ago. But this opens a chasm in you. Especially as you watch him lick away your blood at his lips
Then his lips return to your skin, on your wound, and it feels like devotion.
There were saints that kissed the wounds of your lord and now how angelic, reverent, Ezra’s face looks, you imagine him as one.
However, his lips start kissing all across your arm, quickly becoming greedy. Like a silent thief, he continues kissing up your arm with deliberate nips.
If he is a robber, this thievery is divine. You even squirm, squeezing your legs together because a slick wetness leaks between them. You wish to quell this burning urge to be touched.
Your mind only focuses on Ezra’s lips that you don’t even notice he unclasped your cloak until the heavy cold weight drops off you like shackles unchained.
However, an awful breeze across your skin makes you shrink back from the cold and snaps you into awareness.
You can’t do this with a man like this, a stranger.
A fanged piece of yourself urges you to simply give in, especially with a man not known in town. The internal struggle vanishes when Ezra’s breath tickles against your exposed neck.
“Do you wish me to stop, my turtle dove?” He coo’s. “I believe you deserve to taste this indulgence.”
“I don’t know you.” You croak out. Yet your voice doesn’t even sound convinced of your own resolve.
“Oh but you do.” Ezra pleads, his voice drenched in gilded desire.
“You know me.” He urges. “This is what you wanted. Your heart summoned me. I heard your call and here I am.”
“What do you mean?” Your voice cracks, an unsteady foundation.
“The hidden truths in your heart,” Ezra whispers and his breath dances upon your skin a ghost’s hymnal.
“The festering jealousy of knowing your dear friend found adoration, even out of sin…you wished to know of such delights. And your anger of this world for damning you to such solitudes, of being so constricting - it all called to me.”
Fear captures your heart. This couldn’t be true.
“Oh but it is,” Ezra answers you.
You don’t even know if you spoke those words aloud or if this man has now slithered into your thoughts.
“All those nights you longed for a lover,” he mourns sympathetically. “All alone with just your fingers in your sweet sex.”
You choke on air, gasping for some sort of relief from this terror drowning you.
“Oh and I’ve watched you for so long, my bird.” He bemoans. “Ached for so long to claim you mine.”
“You…you’ve seen me before?” You stammer.
“Indeed I have. I know you’ve partaken in sin. And the guilt you hold consumes you. Let me be your redemption,” Ezra continues with a pure temptation crawling from his voice.
You should be concerned at how this man has seen you before. Yet…With his mouth simply a breath’s pace away from you nothing seems to matter. Because your mind only wants him to kiss you, ravish you.
“You must say it, my angel.” He mutters.
Do you dare jump off the ledge and plunge into this molten fire?
A light terror runs across your skin, like hearing the hiss of a snake yet not seeing it. Something is afoot with Ezra. You can’t pinpoint it…
But you also wonder if this doubt is born from the chains of your faith holding you back?
“Ezra.” You mumble his name, a choked noise.
“I await your command.” The man reverently responds as if in a mass himself.
“Please….” You whimper out.
“Please what?” He murmurs and his twang clouds his voice even more.
“Please….touch me.” You croak while your voice trails.
It unleashes a monster.
Ezra’s lips dive onto your neck, kissing upon your skin with a possessed fervor. Even while sitting, the sudden rush of his lips, the scrape of his facial hair against you makes your body collapse.
It only allows for Ezra to sweep you into his arms.
Yanking his face away from your neck, you’re about to mourn the loss of him against your skin until his lips swoop in to consume yours.
You’ve kissed others before. In the hidden shadow of buildings after dark, you’ve even recently shared a kiss or two with the blacksmith’s brother a handful of times. They’ve been wonderful but secret encounters.
This however sets your soul on fire.
His tongue swiftly maneuvers into your mouth and now tasting him from the source, you never want to know a day without this, without him.
You moan, yanking at him closer, and try to slide your own tongue against his now. It’s messy, wet, a clash of bone and spirit but it’s delicious.
Sliding his arms under your legs, Ezra lifts you up with ease as he stands. You squeak against his lips, but then your eyes roll back when the man suddenly begins sucking on your tongue.
Your body feels like it will crumble at any moment.
That’s when you notice you’re being laid upon something cold and flat.
Wearily you find you do rest high upon something.
And now, the church is lit.
You panic looking around. The torches lining the walls burn with warm flames and illuminate the space in amber light.
How? Ezra did not leave you for one moment. Was there another here? And if so, how did you not hear them?
A warm calloused hand moves to cradle your face and your eyes snap to Ezra who peers down at you with smoke filled eyes.
“Don’t fret, my dove. We are only here.” He reassures, leaning down to kiss you again and your eyes shut once more.
“And if you’re not simply focused on me, then I’m not doing this correctly.” He mutters against your lips.
A wanton drunkenness comes with how consuming he kisses, especially as his mouth pulls from your lips to lick against your jaw.
He hums a satisfied groan.
“Oh my darling turtle dove, you were born to be worshiped by me weren’t you? And I blessed to simply be your devout disciple.” A revered holiness oozes thick from his voice.
“Let me venerate at your holy temple.” Ezra exhales against your throat kissing your feverish skin.
This is more than you can handle. It’s tremendous. It’s too much, yet not enough. It’s building something just out of your grasp, a flame that can’t be extinguished and scorches so fierce.
Blinking out of the haze, you find instead of being beside you, Ezra, like magic, now stands by your feet.
His hands slide up your legs and yank you closer towards him.
A yelp of surprise squeaks out from you. Any other noise or thoughts get swallowed up when Ezra’s hands snake under your skirt and up your legs.
Your eyes close under the sensation of his calloused warm hands.
“Do you know what true sacrifice cleanses sins?” Ezra asks with gravel in his voice.
“Hm?” You mumble, unable to create a response with how wonderful his fingers feel caressing your thighs.
“It’s to offer up one’s life. That’s the ultimate form of sacrifice.”
His words terrify you. Is he insinuating what you think he is? Are you to be made a lamb to slaughter because of the desire consuming you?
“Shh…” Ezra notices your worry and soothes you, rubbing gentle circles on your skin.
“Fear not, my dove. For I shall bring you redemption just as you’ve brought me mine.”
Slowly, he hoists your leg up and your eyes widen. He shifts to stand between your legs. Keeping his gaze on you, the mysterious man kisses your calf, a calming balm that also ignites a heat brewing in you again.
“Tell me,” Ezra asks, speaking into your skin. “Has anyone tasted you…here?”
Suddenly his fingers graze against your sex and warmth floods your face at just the thought.
You heard of such a thing from your friend at the brothels. However it was a rare occurrence, almost seemed mythical.
“No.” You breathe out.
“Shame.” Ezra mumbles. “All for me I suppose. A wonderfully ripe peach, all mine to consume.”
His inky dazed eyes flicker to yours.
“Will you let me take you to heaven, my lovely? May I swim in your ocean and taste your pearl?” Ezra offers like a man asking for your atonement.
The terminology is not missed on you and lust crashes in a dizzying tidal wave.
Quietly, swallowing thick, you nod yes.
Pride grin tugs at Ezra’s lips and his eyes twinkle like a creature lurking out from the woods.
Softly closing his eyes, he returns to kissing your skin. Except this time he moves up your leg with a purpose -
Like he’s on a holy pilgrimage.
Almost bewitched you watch him kneel down and push up your skirt to reveal your under garment. It’s a sight you want seared into your memory.
Then Ezra presses forward and kisses your covered sex. A gasp rips wild from you and your eyes roll back.
With a fast rip, Ezra takes apart your undergarments. Bare to him, his tongue then licks against your cunt and the most debauched sound you never knew you could even make escapes you.
“Do you enjoy? Wish me to continue?” You don’t know how Ezra’s voice swirls around you, a caress in the whispering wind, but you nod frantically.
“Ezra please… more.” You whimper.
And he does as you command.
Ezra pulls you apart with a wet devotion and frenzy that feels like you’re being devoured. He’s feasting on you.
You whine, even slap a hand over your mouth to silence how loud you’ve become when he sucks hard on the pearl of your sex.
“No.” He mumbles wet within your molten heat. “Let me hear you, my lovely.”
You don’t deny him after that.
The storm now rages outside, violently ramming into the windows. It mixes with the cries of your pleasure ripping through you.
When your climax arrives and knocks you out of this realm, you scream Ezra’s name while your legs shake.
“Beauty divine,” Ezra sighs, devout and borderline drunk.
Breathing down from your high with your back fully now flat against the floor surface, it hits you.
You’ve been lying on the chapel’s altar this entire time.
The offering is you. You indeed are the sacrifice, one of vitality. The throne of ecstasy is a form of life…
And did Ezra not tell you passion is also a tiny death itself as well?
Before you can gather this, Ezra dives back into you again and you squirm unbelieving this man can want more. He’s a man possessed like he’s trying to consume you from the inside out, devouring you until he reaches your marrow.
“Ezra.” You whimper. It borders too much, but you also don’t want this to stop.
“Let me feast, my dove.” He growls back and you catch it.
Ezra’s voice sounds distorted, fluttering between his twang and now a jagged danger sounding monstrous.
Wearily, trying to stay aware among the heat of building rapture, you exhaustedly lean up.
Between your legs Ezra is a sinful sight. His broad shoulders keep your thighs open as his tongue dips into the caverns of your cunt. You melt, unable to keep your eyes open.
But you want to watch him, want to remember this for as long as you can.
Especially now that the storm rages all around. You even wonder if the decaying church’s roof might be ripped off.
So your eyes open.
From between your legs, Ezra glances up.
His mouth stays stuck to your sex, except his eyes are completely hollowed out.
Drenched in darkness, like ink spilled entirely into them, they’re unholy and inhuman.
A scream rips from you but you can’t tell if it’s born of fear or pleasure. Or maybe both have blended together.
Your hips rise galvanized more and more, unable to stop their grind into his lips. Ezra’s grip keeps you secured and grounded.
Yet the sensation of sharpened nails now scrape against your skin.
You discover there are indeed claws, gruesome and monstrous claws, that form Ezra’s hands and arms.
“What- what are you?!” You sob.
Ezra hums and peers up at you.
“Salvation, my lovely. Yours and mine.”
A second orgasmic high hits and from the overwhelming pleasure your vision goes white. You wonder if this is heaven.
Or perhaps it’s hell.
Maybe you have died.
You should scream in terror or pray for absolution. But it’s so hard when this tastes so incredibly intoxicating, a most potent elixir.
As your body crumbles back against the altar, the overstimulated sensations become numbing, fogging your mind. Your eyes flicker up to the ceiling of the chapel.
You cannot find your god anywhere in the shadows.
The back of Ezra’s clawed hand gently strokes your cheek.
So tired, barely able to stay awake, your exhausted gaze flickers to him.
Those eyes of his, dark chasms of hell, should be soulless. But instead he looks at you with utmost tenderness.
The blazing lights of the church cast a warm glow outlined around Ezra, almost like a halo.
It’s beautiful. He’s beautiful in the terrifying way a fire is.
The mystery known as Ezra suddenly whispers out your name and you realize…
You never once gave it to him this entire time.
He is the last sight you see before your vision finally falls into the darkness.
When you awake, you’re among your quilts and bed.
You’re home.
Rapidly you look around so confused. How did you end up here? Was it all a dream?
“You’re awake!” Your father cries relieved and rushes to your side.
He thankfully answers all your questions.
You had arrived the morning after the storm. However, you hadn’t been alone.
“You had fallen ill on the road.” Your father explains. “But, thanks be to God, the new pastor sent to our town discovered you and carried you home.”
Now you’ve been resting ever since.
Had that experience been a fever dream, a temporary temptation conjured from your heart’s dark desires?
That had to be a dream, one brought on by your sudden sickness. So you rest and stay in bed for most of the day. From your window you admire the beautiful clear skies, the wonderful weather, and wildflowers growing so lovely.
You also notice your arm is completely healed, like you were never cut to begin with.
Midafternoon, a knock arrives at the door.
Your father calls your name. “Someone here to visit!”
Your mind sorts through all the possibilities of who is here to see you. You never expected your dearest friend to enter in with tears in her eyes. Overjoyed emotion washes over you as she rushes to embrace you.
“How can this be?” You hiccup, wiping away the tears. She was rarely allowed back home, especially now with her early pregnancy.
“The new pastor,” she smiles wide. “So holy and forgiving, he spoke to the judges and they are all redetermining a new sentence for me.”
You almost whisper out a prayer of thanksgiving. You hoped in your heart this would happen. She doesn’t stay long, wanting you to rest and you urge her to do the same.
By twilight another knock at the door arrives.
“Seems we are quite popular today.” Your father teases out from the main quarters.
Then he exclaims in excitement at seeing who’s arrived.
“Oh we are so blessed to have such a considerate clergyman coming by to visit!”
The new pastor. You’re beyond interested to meet this man and now you will.
When your father enters your room, Ezra waltzes in behind him.
Fear seizes your soul.
No. It couldn’t be.
This must be a man that looks like him down to his beautiful sharp nose and white patch of hair.
“Pleasure to see you again and under better circumstances.” Ezra’s clear twang rings out low and twinkling within your room.
Your heart rages rapidly and wild.
“Don’t look so terrified.” Your father chides soft but you still can’t believe this sight before you.
“Might I have a moment of solitude with your dear offspring?” Ezra asks with all the humility of an apostle.
Your father readily agrees, shutting the door behind him.
Now in the confines of your room Ezra slowly saunters towards your bed, a creature approaching its prey.
He exalts your name on an exhale.
You try to speak, but nothing comes out and Ezra moves to kneel beside your bed. His eyes twinkle with patient and pious understanding.
“Shh…no need for words, my dear turtle dove.” He quietly soothes you.
So many emotions clash in you, a tremulous onslaught you can’t handle.
“Have you come to kill me?” Fear manages to escape your lips and Ezra’s glorious face drops.
“Oh no, my beloved birdie. I’d never lay a hand on you with any violence or killing intent.” He reassures, a tender caress. “I’m here to free you. For us to set everyone free…did you not hear of what I did for your dear friend?”
His hand graciously cradles your cheek.
You should be terrified this man, this creature, is here. But you’re not.
Instead consuming relief and dangerous glee fills you. He is real. It was real.
Your hands clasp onto his and you hate how much you lean into his touch
Ezra leans forward and places a kiss against your forehead.
“What are you?” You ask barely above a whisper.
“The shadow of an angel, perhaps a monster to some.” He replies back. “But yours, nonetheless”
And you want him to be yours.
This is wrong to feel so greedy, to want a creature this dangerous. But were demons not once angels who deserved forgiveness and love?
So shifting your face you turn and place a kiss against Ezra’s palm.
Now when you hear the sermons, when you hear Ezra preach, you will think of Eve with sympathy because you understand.
You too fell for the serpent.
After all, evil never looks so beautiful as it does holding you. And desire never tasted so divine, never felt so holy.
Outside your window, the wildflowers begin to rot and the sudden rumble of a thunderstorm rolls in.
118 notes · View notes
voiddaisy · 8 days
Text
Do you think that when Jason Todd was dying, head bashed in as he waiting for the timer to reach zero, he prayed? And not to God — he stopped believing in a god years ago — but praying to Bruce. Praying in the hopes Bruce would hear and save him. Praying and crying out for Bruce to forgive him for making such a mistake. Praying that when he died, Bruce would mourn his death?
And when Jason came back from the dead, hoping his father avenged his death, he found out that Bruce didn’t kill the Joker for killing Jason. And Jason stopped believing in Bruce, too.
Tumblr media
95 notes · View notes
blvvdk3ep · 4 months
Text
Decided I'm never going to recover from the religious guilt so I might as well sexualize it
107 notes · View notes
amillionkilopascals · 17 days
Text
they're pinning my wings to a cork board tomorrow,
and i will stretch them out to be pierced.
i will offer no struggle or complaint,
i will lie there with obedience and docility
and let them make a show of how i chose to let them pin my wings.
look at her, they will point and say to my fellow winged creatures,
look at how she let us pin her wings!
she is so much happier like this.
flying is an abomination. 
and i will hang there,
suspended,
until i slip off of the nails eventually
and the holes heal.
then i will realise,
when my mother is taking me back to them to pin me down again, that 
i do want to fly.
i will no longer let them pin my wings to a cork board.
inspired by x via @papayajuan2019
41 notes · View notes
im-just-an-angel · 21 days
Text
one of the most sick things i have realized in the ppl around me who are still catholic, is how much they are plagued with catholic guilt. a girl who won't get surgery bc she believes its punishment for her sins. ppl who are nearly suicidal in their desire for heaven, and since heaven is coming, they do nothing to change their situation. they dont try to improve their lives or others or the planet bc at the end of the day this is a "fallen world" and "heaven is waiting." it is so sick to drill into a persons head since theyre a child that they were born evil, that they need god to fix them, they need god to sustain them, as if it wont affect their mental state at all as adults. my little cousins who have already shown signs of having anxiety about god, like asking if he'll be mad at them/their parents for doing normal, human things. like really being afraid of what that would mean. my opinion and love for this world and its people shifted sp drastically when i realized i could just stop. i could stop being afraid of god. i could stop thinking we all deserved to burn in a lake of eternal fire. who even makes a lake of eternal fire anyway? that very much does not sound like a me problem. when i left the church, i very much still believed in hell, and i very much believed it was a place i would go, and would deserve to go. but i chose it anyway. i chose the eternal torture, because who does a thing like eternal torture? if god would torture me forever, than that wasn't someone i wanted to associate with, consequences be damned. and slowly, i started to see the world differently. i know the world is on fire, and theres a few too many genocides occuring at the moment, and i do truly have it in me to detest forever the people who hurt innocent people. but still, desite it all, despite everything, i think we're good. yes, we do bad things, but at the end of the day, most of us just want to go home, and cuddle our pets/loved ones, and eat a good meal, and look at the stars and dream. we're not so different, and we're not so bad. idk where i was going with all this exactly, but i think the cure to catholic guilt is choosing to believe in the good. catholism says goodness can only come from god, and thats why were damned. but i think we *are* good. even despite all the reasons ppl give me on the contrary. bc i see ppl wish happy holidays to strangers, holidays they dont celebrate themselves, just to see them happy. i see strangers go out of there way to help people every single day. bc most of us understand that we all just want the same things, and are willing to help each other get them. we arent evil, and bad things arent some divine punishment, sometimes things just suck. the cure to catholic guilt, i think, is a love that can outcompete the divine.
52 notes · View notes
the-winds-indecision · 6 months
Text
Said Cain to his mother, "Am I my brother's keeper?"
Eve kneels in front of him, the boy barely old enough to understand what he is asking. Takes his face in her hand, looks him in the eye.
"Yes."
He must watch out for his younger brother, must keep him safe, must teach him how to be a boy, must make sure he knows how to pray and how to find his way home (though, to Cain, they are one and the same). He smiles at the boy who toddles behind him through the garden, mud up to his knees and elbows, smudged across his nose. This boy has his heart - he would be his brother's keeper even without his mother's word.
The first time Cain finds himself with Abel's blood on his hands, he doesn't know what to do. Abel lies bleeding in the garden - his knee is skinned and the blood is everywhere - it seeps into the soil and stains the stone and it is so sticky and red on Cain's hands as he cries for his mother.
Cain cries as Eve bandages Abel. He is still crying when Abel runs back outside to play in the garden. Cain is his brother's keeper. He should have been keeping a closer eye on his brother, should have told him to be careful, should have run slower, should have --
The rocks in the garden dig into his knees as he prays forgiveness. It feels right. It feels deserved. He stays out there until the ground is cold, the blood long since dried, and long after his mother has called him in for dinner.
* * * * *
Said Cain to his father, "Am I my brother's keeper?"
His father's back is turned but Cain can almost hear Adam roll his eyes.
"Yes."
Abel is a young man now, and almost never home. It is somehow Cain's job to know his brother's whereabouts, Cain's job to make sure his brother is home for dinner, Cain's job to ease his mother's mind when his brother is out after dark or before sunrise. Cain is, after all, his brother's keeper.
Cain has never known what it means to be a boy, to be a man, yet he has taught his brother without fail. He, however, has only ever known what it means to be the older brother. He knows that when his fathers feet ache, it is his job to pull the plow. When Eve tends the hearth until she collapses with fever it is his job to work in her stead. And his job to care for his mother as she rests.
When Abel comes home bloodied, his mother cries and his father scolds. Cain simply sighs, and hangs a pot of water over the fire. Pulls out the scrap cloth and soap. Abel grins as he regales his brother with the day’s adventure.  Doesn’t notice that the only response is a smile and a tired nod. 
Cain is the last person awake that night - tired body slumped by the dying fire as he washes his brother’s blood from his hands for the hundredth time. Cain is, after all, his brother’s keeper.
* * * * *
The last time Cain has Abel’s blood on his hands, he doesn’t know what to do.  Just stands still, sways in the breeze, watches as the blood paints the stones, paints the soil, paints his hands.  There is so much blood on his hands.  Cain knows he cannot hide from his Lord.  There is only so much time until he is pressed for a reason.  He should think - he should know what he is to say. 
He just stands there.  
Cain doesn’t know who he is without Abel.  He is - he was his brother’s keeper.  If not the older brother, who is he anymore?
It is not long before the footsteps approach and a voice sounds from behind.  Cain dares not turn to meet the gaze of the speaker.
"And where, Cain, is your brother?"
Said Cain to his Lord, "am I my brother's keeper?" and for the first time -
"No."
116 notes · View notes
animentality · 5 months
Text
How was I supposed to resist durgetash when the very first words out of their mouths were religious guilt?
Religious guilt is the best.
There's nothing better than amazing sex with someone you're not supposed to be having sex with, and your punishment is eternal torture and damnation. But maybe they're worth it.
I was raised Catholic, so maybe this is not universal.
106 notes · View notes
gael-garcia · 28 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— Song of Solomon 4, quoted in
El crimen del Padre Amaro (2002, Carlos Carrera)
31 notes · View notes
fuckingwhateverdude · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
1.16.24
278 notes · View notes
goldkirk · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
it is SUCH a good day to no longer be in a cult 😭🌈✨💖
129 notes · View notes
chicafinal · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
sugar & spice (2001)
91 notes · View notes
trickstersaint · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
transubstantiation // august 2 2023
96 notes · View notes
seraphimfall · 1 year
Text
the catholic church i grew up in didn’t have a youth service or anything. so, my 8-year-old self would have to sit through the regular services with all the adults.
i would get so bored that i’d look up at the hanging lights, and try to figure out who in the congregation would get crushed if they fell.
331 notes · View notes