#it’s the lame boyfriend meme

[lanshappycorner]

18trip doodles (ft. tenren)

[hawnks]

Also the way they just hold hands sometimes..........

[deathernoia]

damn ok kadsey

[dreamertrilogyy]

ppl in actual relationships (not e-couples) who follow each other on here are actually so cute i love love

[secretlocket]

THINKING ABOUT BOYFRIEND!MIGUEL.

boyfriend!miguel who’s stoic demeanor cracks like glass on concrete when he’s with you. his ice cold forefront melts like butter under heat just by looking at you, hearing your voice—just by you.

boyfriend!miguel who laughs at your lame jokes, giggles at the memes you send him even if he doesn’t understand them.

boyfriend!miguel who takes all your recs into consideration. that netflix show you told him about that’s got you hooked? he’s already on season three. your favorite band just dropped a new album and you want him to check it out? he already has it playing on repeat. the candy that you’ve been obsessed with since you were a kid that you would love for him to try? he keeps stashes of it in his kitchen cabinet.

boyfriend!miguel who loves falling asleep with you on the phone. wether if it’s a regular call or facetime, hearing you peacefully snore puts him at ease, even though you always end up falling asleep first.

boyfriend!miguel who loves touching you. nuzzling his face into your neck whenever you hug or cuddle. light but tender grips on your waist when he holds you. peppering soft kisses all over your body as a way to wake up in the morning. tickle fights during the late nights when you both have way too much sugar in your systems, so tired you act out on innocent delirium.

boyfriend!miguel who not only loves touching you, but tasting you also—the man is a certified pussy eating king. loves making you fall apart on his tongue, lapping up your liquid essence which he swears tastes like pure honey to him. soft lips sucking on your clit, warm tongue gently exploring your folds as you on grip on to his hair, shoulders, the sheets—whatever you can for dear life as broken, fucked out sobs leave your lips.

boyfriend!miguel who loves you more than life.

boyfriend!miguel who can’t get enough of you.

[gureumz]

bet? bet!

like a freak, like a g [installment 1]

rating: explicit

member: jake

premise: there's not much secrets to be found out with the director of recruitment. but he does recruit you for one hell of a challenge: fuck your way around his frat house.

notes: fem!reader, greek life!au, university!au, fwb!jake, slightly possessive!jake (but he's also down to share), dirty talk, brief mention of pregnancy, unprotected sex, creampie

a/n: first installment of the 'sleeping around the frat house' series! tried something different here, not sure if it'll work but i like this one~ i'm so excited for this series so i hope you all join along for the ride! *divider by cafekitsune

jake sim is not your boyfriend.

he's a friend. from high school. who happens to go to the same university as you.

for the first few weeks of freshman year, the two of you were each other's default, having moved to this city all on your own for your respective degrees.

orientation, vacant periods, dinner after class. all of these were spent with jake. you clung onto each other like velcro. freshman jake and ______ versus the world.

and then jake decided to rush for a frat and you got roped into your own extracurriculars. the friendship faded into texts here and there about things that reminded you of each other. memes. an occasional selfie update.

until jake invited you to the frat's recruit-organized party for the year.

"i bought all the booze," jake had declared proudly, voice straining over the booming music. you nodded, genuinely impressed by how well the recruits put the party together.

"it's a fun party," you practically yelled into jake's ear. he pulled back and smiled down at you.

the recruits even managed to rent party lights for the night. and under the purple-red glow of the strobes, you realized just how handsome jake is up close. even when he's standing at the top of the stairs and you at the bottom, him beckoning you up, you could readily admit he was hot.

and you kind of did.

"jake," you breathed out quietly, leaning over the banister from the second floor overlooking the party below. jake is right beside you.

he turned to you, eyes blinking slowly from the alcohol he's consumed thus far. jake leans in closer and you can smell the heineken on his breath.

"i'm kinda...bored," you said rather lamely. jake snorted, leaning his head down on your shoulder. you breathe the scent of his shampoo in, nuzzling your face in his soft raven hair.

"what do you wanna do?" jake asked, craning his neck to look at you from where he's still laid down on your shoulder.

jake snaked an arm around your waist and you knew you were done for. a second later, you were kissing, and within another minute, he's pushing you towards the direction of his room at the very end of the hall.

"fuck, you're so hot," you blurted out over the creaking of his bed, his movements messy and frantic but still enough to have you throwing your head back in pleasure.

"so are you," jake had said, grinning down at you. his hands dug into your sides, keeping you pinned in place as he fucked into you with the enthusiasm only a drunk college frat boy could possess.

and the rest was history.

---

it went on like this for the next year and a half. a friendship maintained through quickies in his car and semi-dates in his frat house bedroom, takeout boxes on his desk while he fucked you doggy style on his (still) creaky bed.

it's not to say you kept things exclusive. that wasn't part of the deal.

whatever the deal is. you haven't really talked about it.

there would be times when neither of you would reach out for weeks or months on end. you'd start to wonder why he was gone so long but then you'd see jake post a girl's hand or half of someone's face on his instagram story, complete with an obscure poetic indie love song in the background.

ah. of course.

in your defense, you had your fair share of flings and situationships here and there. one even came close to an actual serious relationship.

yeonjun, a music major senior you went out with last year when you were a sophomore. he took you out to dates and introduced you to his friends and wrote you songs. but he always found an excuse to avoid that conversation.

(you found out without much difficulty that it was just his ex begging for him to come back.)

guess what happens next.

and so by the tail end of last academic year, you and jake somehow were aligned once again. both single. both horny.

three months later and here you are after the first day of classes of your third year, naked on jake's bed. just like the old times.

"i missed you," jake whispers, hands moving frantically over your body, tugging at your clothes while his mouth busied itself on your neck.

"we saw each other back home a few weeks ago," you reply, giggling when you feel jake lick a stripe up to your jaw.

he can be a little excitable sometimes. like a puppy.

"weeks, ________. can't believe you flew off to some island somewhere while i was left alone to jerk off to pictures of you," jake complains, blowing hair out of his eyes as he pulls away. he tugs his shirt off in one graceful swoop and you're greeted with an eyeful of his abs.

"well, if it's any consolation, i touched myself to your pictures, too," you respond, dropping your voice to a seductive lilt. your hand smooths down jake's bare torso as he leans back down over you, a grin spreading on his face.

"yeah?" he asks.

"oh yeah," you affirm, nodding. you reach down to cup jake through his sweats, a quiet hiss escaping him as you do so.

"fuck, baby, need you so bad," jake admits, hurriedly tugging and kicking off his pants. he's bare under the cotton fabric, having foregone boxers. typical jake.

jake spits on his palm, wrapping his hand around his shaft right after, jerking it to full hardness. he bites down on his lip as his other hand grabs at one of your tits, kneading and squeezing.

"wait," you call out, laying a hand on jake's arm. "you haven't fucked anyone while i was gone, right?"

jake rolls his eyes playfully, leaning down to kiss you. your teeth clash for a moment and you gasp slightly, not expecting such passion from jake.

"only wanted to fuck you," jake admits. he quirks an eyebrow, eyeing you curiously. "how about you?"

you shake your head. "couldn't go longer than a day without thinking about you filling me up with that cock."

jake grins, kissing you again. he lines his tip with your entrance, pulling away slightly as he slips in between your slick folds.

"missed this," jake mutters, pushing more and more of himself in. you simultaneously sigh out in relief once he's bottoms out.

"missed you," he adds.

you snake your arms around jake's shoulders, pulling him close as he starts to rut against you. he moans softly next to your ear and you let yourself do the same, your voices mingling and bouncing off the walls of jake's tiny bedroom.

"fuck, _______," jake groans. "how are you always so tight?"

you don't answer, merely wrapping your legs around jake's hips, pulling him closer. you hear him grunt as he leans back to look at you. his eyes are dark but focused on you. you feel fingers snake around your throat and you can't help the way your eyes roll into the back of your head.

"yeah, that's right," jake chuckles. he squeezes at your jugular lightly and you whine, grabbing at jake's wrist.

"such a whore, aren't you? my cockhungry whore," jake declares. you love it when he gets possessive and you know he knows. he uses it to his advantage any time he can.

"yeah," you agree, nodding as best as you can with jake squeezing at your air pipes. your voice is strained, hoarse from the way jake is choking you.

"yours. only yours."

jake curses under his breath, letting go of your neck. you gasp for air but any attempt to breathe is quickly cut short as you feel jake press your legs up against your chest. you cry out in surprise, jake hammering into you with a newfound speed and strength that sends your brain in a frenzy.

you always felt a certain way when jake has you like this, cunt in full view, body folded nearly in half, fucking into you like he was trying to put a baby in you.

"mine." jake sounds nearly animalistic, a primal need taking over him as he forces your legs harder against your chest.

your head is spinning, limbs going limp with how hard jake is fucking you. the feeling in your abdomen snaps tight, threatening to break.

you babble incoherently a barely distinguishable mix of jake's name, curses, and pained pleas of 'more, need more!' or 'feel s'fucking good, jakey! your cock feels so good!'. it doesn't take long for jake to give the last of his frenzied thrusts, pushing in deep when he cums, spurts of himself filling you up just as you'd hoped.

jake continues to fuck into you after a while, knowing you haven't finished just yet. you reach down between your legs to press your fingers onto your clit, hips grinding up to meet jake's. he complains of oversensitivity but he goes on and by mercy, your own orgasm finally takes over, you clenching down on jake's half flaccid dick.

he pulls out after a few moments, finally allowing himself some relief. you're both breathing hard, sweaty and tired from the whole ordeal. you prop yourself up on your elbows, meeting jake's eyes.

"please don't deprive me for that long ever again," jake says with a sleepy smile, slumping over you. you giggle as you fall back against his bed, jake's face cradled in your neck,

you run your fingers through his disheveled hair, lips pressed against his temple.

jake sim is not your boyfriend but it's times like this that it feels like he might be.

a noise jostles you out of your thoughts. a phone notification.

jake lifts his head from your chest, blindly groping around his bed for his phone. he finally locates it after a moment, handing it to you.

"can you read that for me? jake requests, voice muffled as he snuggles closer to you.

you squint as the sudden brightness of the screen practically assaults your eyes. you blink a few times, reading the message displayed on the notification.

from hee: are you done? i had to physically restrain jay from pounding your door down.

"oh shit," you say, throwing your head back in embarrassment.

"your frat bros heard us," you inform jake.

jake merely snorts, winding his arms around you and pulling you closer.

"as they have a million times before," jake points out. "it's not like i'm the only one who fucks loudly in this house."

your ears perk up at that.

"oh? is the rest of the frat a bunch of man whores like you?" you tease, nudging jake lightly with your knee. he lifts his head up, frowning at you.

"i'm not a man whore, thank you very much," jake says with a roll of his eye. "can't speak for the rest of them, though."

"spill," you urge, raising your eyebrows expectantly at jake.

"sorry, babe, the secrets of the frat must be kept with full confidentiality," jake counters with a shrug.

you narrow your eyes at that. you've seen jake's frat brothers around a handful of times. you'd have to be blind to not see their good looks. and you'd have to be a liar not to admit that they are, indeed, good-looking.

"unless you want to find out for yourself," jake adds, giving you a look as if to say, 'i dare you'.

you straighten up, leaning against jake's headboard.

"let's say i do want to find out," you begin, crossing your arms against your chest.

jake's mouth falls open but his expression quickly shifts into a look of mischief. he looks off to the side, as if pondering on what to tell you. after a few seconds, he snaps his fingers and returns his gaze to you. he's practically bouncing with excitement.

"you can always sleep your way around the house," jake suggests, cocking a brow, as if to challenge you.

you pause. a million different questions come tumbling down on you. before you could get a word out, jake holds out his arms.

"or, at least, the executive committee," jake hurriedly adds. "i can guarantee you, all the other members aren't worth your time."

if you weren't interested before, you're definitely intrigued now.

"i got one ticked off so far," you muse, smiling sweetly at jake. "not much secrets to be found with the director of recruitment."

it takes jake a moment to realize you're referring to him. he rolls his eyes, reaching over to tickle your side. you swat his arm away, giggling.

"as if any of the others could fuck you the way i do," jake scoffs. he leans over the side of the bed, reaching for his discarded shirt. he tosses it in your direction.

you catch the fabric in your hands, pulling it over your head. jake stops as he straightens up, the rest of his and your clothes in his hands. he gives you a one-over and smirks.

"make sure to let them fuck you while you wear this, okay?" jake teases, leaning in to kiss you.

"no promises," you taunt back. jake pulls away, a look of confusion on his face.

"you're not actually serious, are you?" jake questions. you nearly laugh at jake's genuinely clueless expression.

"why not? might be fun," you say with a shrug.

"besides, i never back down from a good challenge," you add.

jake studies you for a moment. you briefly think he might be mad or god forbid, disgusted with what you're attempting to do, but after a while, a shit-eating grin takes over his face.

"atta girl," jake says, winking. he kisses you again, hands grabbing at your waist.

jake sim is not your boyfriend because what boyfriend lets you fuck around with his frat brothers? but then again, it's not too late to talk about it. whatever it is with jake.

but for now, you have a task to get to.

[writingfromasgard]

𝔹𝕝𝕦𝕣𝕓𝕤

Masterlist

𝕋𝕖𝕩𝕥

Cowboy Graves - rambling, anti-graves TF141: Dick tricks Sexting w/ 141 TF141's therapist Monsieur Price + His Escorts You got a Lame ass boyfriend TF141+Konig: Surprise! I'm Naked! TF141 away from home for weeks TF141 who turn Cowboy after meeting you Chat: See cat, lick cat - Gaz, Price, Ghost, Soap, Laswell TF141 + Konig Birthmarks TF141's (Female) S/Os Fae141 + Konig Cures for the common Cold Uninterested/Distracted kink TF141's Anniversary

𝕄𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕒

Konig vs Ghost Audio - Talking to their SO Eating pussy - Video, meme

[eggtartz]

a/n : request by @bontensbabygirl for a part two of tr characters doing this trend 🫶🏻

masterlist

characters : mikey + rindou + ran + sanzu + izana

mikey

"manjiro?"

"yes bubs?"

"can we do this one trend?"

"trend?"

"yeah it's a thing where the video goes viral and everyone does the same thing like the video"

"sounds lame"

"manjiro!" he laughed while sitting on the couch so you turned record and attempted to sit down but mikey closed his legs.

"manjiro..." you voice with a warning. you redo it and mikey happily obliged, the video perfectly done although you had to force him to wear covered shoes. "i don't think anyone would find slippers hot in thirst trapping"

"that's not the slippers fault!"

rindou

"rinnie.!!"

"oh here we go again it's like that one meme where the boyfriend is trying to relax and the hyper girlfriend keeps bugging him"

"are you saying that you hate my presence haitani?"

"fine, if you won't do it. your brother might do it with me anyways" you stomped your feet away from him but heard footsteps grow behind you. "oh c'mon now, i never said you're annoying. what is that you wanted to do baby?" you glared at him and showed him the video. "oh, anything for my baby! c'mon sit sit" he urged you to start the recording and did the trend so well. after posting the video, rindou didn't let you go from his lap and said sorry.

ran

"ran?"

"y/n?"

"ran?"

"y/n?"

"ran you're annoying"

"i love you t- wait what" he snapped his head towards your direction while you giggled at him. you the moved closer to him. you turned the camera and pressed record, ran oblivious to your activity and kept watching the tv without a single care of the world as he's watching his favorite drama.

apparently in the app, girls saw how your boyfriend manspread and went wild with it. after telling ran about it, he was PROUD. but for you, that's the first and last time you're featuring ran in your account.

sanzu

"haru wanna do this trend with me?" sanzu who just finished washing the dishes wiped his hands on his apron. "what trend is that princess?"

"it's a trend for couples on tiktok"

"oh okay may i see the trend?" you showed him the video and he scrolled through the video with the same music and nodded his head slightly. "we can do it on the chair princess let's go" you were giddy and when sanzu looked like he was ready, the camera was on. unfortunately you tried sitting between his legs but you slipped because the apron he's wearing was blocking the way. sanzu laughed at you and said sorry while taking off the apron. rubbing your butt, you pouted. "aw does it hurt come here, i'll take care of it"

did the trend the next day because you two forgotten about it.

izana

"no"

"but just once?"

"no honey"

"aw it's not like im showing your face" you tried talking to him while izana was typing away on his laptop. "it's just a 7 second video, won't disturb you after this promise" you whined at your boyfriend. izana pinched the bridge of his nose.

"fine c'mon then honey seven seconds move it, move it" he pushed the chair from the table and gestured his lap. you wasted no time and wiggled your way between his legs. after posting the video, you didn't budge from his lap and sat there. "on a second thought, this position is comfortable don't you think?" you asked while looking back at him. he looked down at you and sighed, making you giggle. you stayed there anyway, clicking sounds heard.

[thealogie]

Michael Sheen if you’re reading this im so sorry I called you David Tennant’s lame ass boyfriend even though it was part of a meme/bit that runs counter to everything this blog stands for I think you’re the greatest actor of your generation. I also hope you trip and fall off the stage in Nye and you land on me and I break a bone and you’re completely fine but I sue you and we see each other in court for years haha WHO said that

[chiquitafresa]

I hope you don’t mind me sharing my staticapple headcanons in return-

My favorite headcanon is that Vox teaches Lucifer how to game and Lucifer is comedically bad at it . But if anyone in the shared lobby says anything, you bet your ass whoever did it is getting doxxed .

Also! I don’t think either of them can cook to save their lives . On one of their early dates, Lucifer invited Vox to his house for a home cooked meal, and realizes a tad too late he has no clue how to cook . Vox comes to see him fussing over burnt ramen . They end up ordering in . (They might learn to cook later though, who knows)

Lucifer makes a habit of showing up to places like hours before it’s time to start and just waits at the door except Vox has cameras everywhere so he notices this and ends up letting him in early (Lucifer gets pretty flustered at this the first time it happens). Vox does consider telling him a meeting time that’s later so he’s not comically early, but part of him enjoys getting to spend a few hours before schedule with his bf.

Vox doesn’t really know how to connect to Charlie at first- well he does, but it mostly involves several manipulative tactics that pray on her better nature instead of genuinely just letting her get to know him and vice versa . Eventually they bond by drawing together, even though Vox isn’t the best at it-

Also Lucifer has really horrible memory with conversations, but luckily Vox has surveillance everywhere! He can just record his bf’s conversations for him! Wait what do you mean that’s a breach of privacy? (They have a very long conversation about boundaries after this . )

I think Vox would hype Lucifer up so fucking much too . Not that it’s really necessary cause cmon, king of hell, but it’s like that meme . If I had a lame ass boyfriend I would hype him up so much, I’d be like here comes the specialest boy ever if you don’t clap I’ll blow up this whole building . That’s them . It’s even funnier because Vox is just as much of a cringefail dumbass as Lucifer is .

They talk about how much they hate Alastor but Lucifer notices that Vox is putting waaaaayy too much weight on it . I think they could actually help eachother a lot in this specific aspect because they’re both people who tend to define themselves off of their relationships, and obsess over one particular relationship to the point of it being unhealthy . (Like, I’m not sure if you’ve seen it, but theres a post about how Vox isn’t really happy or excited about anything until Alastor shows up? And Lucifer is the same way with Charlie calling him! I think Lucifer having a person in his life that has nothing to do with his daughter before meeting him would be pretty welcome, and Vox having someone who can validate his feelings about Alastor without enabling him is also just soooo)

Okay yeah that’s my take on them . I really like how you draw them btw . They’re very cute <3

OH MY GOD ANON I LOVE THIS!!! Your making me cry over how cute they’re are ❤️

I mean like they’re so cute to think about, like how would they first meet? How will Vox react to Lucifer asking him out???

They are having me on a choke hold 😭😭😭

[bwambiee]

21, CAN YOU DO SOMETHIN’ FOR ME? — BLLK

PAIRING : football player! isagi x figure skater! reader

GENRE : social media au (SMAU), crack , college au , slice of life , light angst , crack humor (it’s like 95% of the story LOL) , occasionally will have written chapters

SUMMARY : when your friend suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, she runs to you for help! crazy enough, her boyfriend thinks of the same idea but runs to your boyfriend instead. Here’s the problem— they both made you and isagi swear to secrecy. Uh-oh.

WARNINGS : fem! reader , profanity , suggestive/sexual jokes but no smut , mentions of kys and kms jokes , crack , no verbal filter (i made everyone CRAZY) , mentions of cheating/infidelity, mc’s friend is off her rocker , two idiots helping two idiots , the rest of blue lock just watching you two be dumb , isagi is the biggest loser but the rest of bllk are lame too , this smau is like 5% plot and 95% of a drug trip , isagi is down bad for his gf (sometimes) , the fourth wall will be broken at times , rin wants smarter friends , established relationships

FEATURING : my moots !! @luvtorei @itoshi-s @katasstrophy @lalunanymph <3 check out their amazing blogs pls i beg , various kpop idols but just for meme purposes

STATUS : hiatus (updates every tuesday and friday’s EST ! )

TAGS : #21.asks🤳 #21.can.u.do.sumn.for.me🤳 (so you can filter them if you don’t want me to bother your dashie ! )

TAGLIST : slide in my asks to be added ! <3

A/N : hello hello everyone!!! please bear to read this little authors note for just a second but i just want to thank all of my moots and followers for getting me up to a lil’ milestone 🥹 never would i have imagined myself to be creating content but here i am! and i’ve received sm love and positive energy it just makes me want to make more content! as a thank you, since christmas is coming up, for a little gift for my moots and followers i’ve been working on this smau as a treat for everyone and also a little challenge for myself! have fun reading and please read the warnings before you dive in!

⚠️TIME TO BEREAL⚠️

PROFILES ONE | TWO | THREE just posted late !

NOTIFICATIONS !

one. you’re my reason to live and nut.

two. get YN a jersey mike sub 😟

three. sexual immorality is not cool 🙏🏻

four. small hiatus until further notice

© 𝐘𝐀𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐓. do not, in any way steal, plagiarize , or repost any of my works. any translations and modifications are not tolerated.

[maestro04yayyy]

Oh gosh, like, OK you know that about the "If I had a lame boyfriend I'd hype him up so much" meme?

Cos like, Chloe wouldn't be thinking in those terms, Juleka has been mentally slotted into "exceptional" by virtue of matching Chloe's vibes. But she knows not everyone sees that & that Juleka needs to see that so she can reach her full potential.

Which is another way of saying:

Chloe: If my girlfriend/future-Girlfriend was shy, I'd hyper up up so much.! Like I'll go into a building & tell everyone, here comes the most gorgeous, devilishly, exceptional maiden you've ever seen & everyone had better make sure she knows it or I'm burning this whole place down with you all inside it!

Class: ...

Juleka (Tackles & makes out with Chloe)

Class: What the fuck?

Ok loke this fit so much with my headcanon(fanon or canon) of chloe just loving fiercely and absolutely. Also that os a think she will do!!!(she kinda hyped adrien up to the class before he joined in stone heart I think, and of course she did the same for her mom, but juleka is the best now, so she is going to do it ten fold) and really juleka is gping to love!!!(beinf being a little embarassed, but her whole thing is wanting to be seen, and chloe is clearly staring so)

Also they totally make out all the time after that.

(Ok now I imagine juleka or chloe asked to change sit so they can be next to each other, not sure how rose took that, the same goes for sabrina depending on her relationship with chloe, maybe she is supportive!!)

[whaledocboi]

yknow the "if i had a lame ass boyfriend i would hype him up so much" meme? thats actually me and my best friend

[tenderhungering]

veep headcanons? :3

oh this will take a WHILE……i love veep so much. i’m about to wrap up season 6 right now ! i think i’ll do little headcannons / analysis for each character ! i might do a part 2 because i want to also do some more supporting characters. like you know damn well im gonna wanna write for catherine and marjorie as a whole,,,

Selina

named catherine “catherine” like her mother in order to be able to yell said name in anger the way she never could yell back at her mother

the severe mommy issues make her need every single one of her staff to be emotionally involved in her. if she isn’t the center of their life, she gets anxious about it, even angry. she needs to be validated

depends heavily on spellcheck,,, i just think she hates phones for some reason.

she can tell EXACTLY how someone is feeling by making it up in her head and believing it ❤️

got arrested once in her youth and it was wiped off the record. #supportwomen’swrongs

Amy

would do super super well taking up something that makes her adrenaline pump. they keep trying to get her to relax by making her get massages, meditate and be in quiet. she needs NOISE. she should be allowed to beat someone up at least once a day

had a little gray cat whenever she was younger. she likes them ! they’re similar to how she is whenever it comes to boundaries.

bisexual but she has a stressful job so she doesn’t have time to think about that rn

she would benefit from me in her life actually

actually really liked dan bc dan seems to personalize the relationship to the person (dan is so kind ❤️) so she was into him but suddenly got the ick.

Dan

trigger warning for SA and grooming: i think dan’s relationship with sex is so affected by the fact he slept with his teacher whenever he was younger in exchange for a good grade. it has made him view it was an exchange, a transactional affair. it’s why he’s so shit at intimacy, he doesn’t see to her anything out of it.

watches all the latest movies but it’s only because he keeps taking women out to go see them:

has a really sensitive stomach,,,,he says it’s something he ate but i feel like whenever he gets anxious it happens to

catholic guilt galore but he’s busy so he CANNOT get into it

he’s so the type of boyfriend who does baby talk and when he’s recorded he gets real mad about it. get that camera OUTTA here

Mike

he is like a baby duckling to me that’s why he wanted to raise them actually

has so many useless apps on his phone. why do you have a flashlight app you have a flashlight BUILT into the phone. its okay though bc he watches lot of youtube tutorials

probably wanted to vlog at some point but he got yelled at by selina in a clip so he stopped

the personality hire,,, everyone loves him but god he can be so bad at his job sometimes. everyone gets mad but never enough to fire him

because he started dating wendy, he started to dress up a little more ! ties and handkerchiefs match. i love you dad

Jonah

he so ran one of those private meme accounts whenever he was younger but he got so bad at everyone saying they were lame he just posted a screenshot that said SUCK MY DICK SON and blocked everyone

his incessant gross comments are a result of being around a bunch of rich white men that happen to be politicians that tend to laugh at them. he has daddy issues. he needs the validation

his little curls going missing are a result of him getting his hair straightened because he wanted to look more professional actually. he burnt his hands so he begged his mom to help him

gets really anxious about his health CONSTANTLY and has a will written out already because he’s scared one day it’ll (he doesn’t know what) catch up to him

Gary

he knows the lyrics to every new pop song ever. he loves it. he used to play Just Dance whenever he was in college or something i don’t know i feel like he might’ve even been in a club that requires that

has an extensive skin care routine. he puts on those fluffy headbands sometimes but stopped bc he realized it was to keep your hair dry and his is so short lmao

definitely has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. he just pops a pill of whatever and hopes that it works (it doesn’t)

needs heavy validation from authority figures,,,like badly,,, i think that’s why he enjoys it so much whenever any of selina’s boyfriends acknowledge him as a person (or anyone gives him any importance)

he needs someone to tell him what to do because he is so lost on having any identify that isn’t directly tied to someone else ? he’s not even really sure what he himself likes anymore. uses “we” more than he uses “i”

[ladystoneboobs]

hey, everyone remember this moment from the yellowjackets pilot?

well, guess who was one of those asshole varsity baseball players.

eta: and then, in the pilot's pre-plane morning montage, we see this:

jackie 100% went back to fix that sign. not even to get rid of the word boys and make it gender-neutral, specifically to insult them.

it's like the opposite of that meme about hyping up your lame-ass boyfriend everywhere you go. jackie could not stand the thought of anyone overlooking her girls' acclomplishments to praise her loser boyfriend's loser team of loser assholes. no, no, nobody can be proud of them, that's not allowed. shame on them and pride in your winning lady yellowjackets only.

[darkanachronism]

Apparently what I do now is make low effort memes about my Druid Dirk, and her weird vampire Boyfriend.

These two are so lame and I support them.