#it’s the rt universe in my brain

[bubblegum-gf]

immortal space god rtgame who can live on earth as a human but only for a very short time, and as a different identity each time (unnecessarily inserting my there’s-so-many-rts rtumblr brainrot). is that anything. just lonely immortal space god rt

everyone has an immortal space god rt agenda dumbass, it came free with your fucking rtgame obsession

[sokumotanaka]

The power of imagination is fascinating, isn't it? See this?

-

This is art by advarcher done in 2021 on their deleted deviant art page, you can't find these pictures anywhere else. before we even see Vacuo- and this is the canon version of the same place.

A dusty one color location. The fanart conveys a much more lived in world than what you'd read on the wiki. On the wiki it's described as a horrible place to live, everyone lives in nomadic villages that constantly move, which makes finding loved ones hard to find, and the consistent "This place sucks to live" while basing locations off Egyptian pyramids, and nomadic culture which is why indigenous people partook it feels like an idiots idea of what living in POC locations is like.

It comes prejudice, and while RT WAS prejudice (Never forget Mika) I doubt they even been outside of white suburbia locations to make such odd claims. I feel the fan location is something I want to explore, learn about and even protect! I can't in my right mind think why RT would make something highly based on POC cultures and locations and decide to write it as a lawless, hate filled place where everyone is so miserable that they have shirts in universe that say they hate being there.

A fan made it more interesting, diverse, better looking, with a single image. Ruby looks happy to be there, there's plenty of lush greenery, mimicking alot of real life locations, there's color, things that catch the eye in that image, it's big- there seem to be bones and structures- Yang in the other image is by an outpost that looks partially taken back by the elements, it's fascinating what the brain can make up; again fans made this up.

[justtrashperson]

So a while back you drew art of the sonic!lads feat. the metal virus, and if you have any further ideas on that matter I would love to hear them!

Totally fine if not and you just wanted to draw some cool art, but the whole metal virus arc was one of my favourites in the idw comics ^-^'

KAJSKA that’s fair, I'm currently also brain rotting over sonic prime and the sonic!Lads again so luckily I do have lore for you. Also same metal virus arc was one of my favorites too

Though it was a while ago, I might forgot some details about the arc so yeah sorry if there’s anything missing or wrong lmao

Anyway this got so long bc I like to ramble so read more it is

So, I guess the Sonic!Lads universe exist somewhat within the idw sonic canon, like the actual sonic characters do exist but are vaguely there, so restoration hq or whatever it was still exist, G.U.N. Exist somewhat, there’s the Babylonians, etc.

Anyway, This was probably a while after all the lads are friends, which is probably a very bad timing, considering the whole lore with Brian, but we'll get to it someday.

Basically at first the whole thing was like the idw, where everyone didn't notice at first, but when they did, it was far too late.

Kevin and RT are roommates, and since RT does have an extreme gear, they managed to bail out, taking some necessary equipment specifically to survive/camp, and jumps out of a fucking window kasjaskj (okay maybe a bit dramatic but the whole place outside are already swarming with zombots so what are they supposed to do)

Brian was at Daithi's place, doing some check ups to make sure his robot parts didn't act up again, before the garage doors started banging, and as they went to the window, they see that the outside was also swarming with Zombots. Daithi started to tell Brian to get anything he can get while he himself tries to take some tech he made that might be useful, before the doors broke and the zombots started coming. They managed to get away safely because of Daithi's bounce shoes (though he was almost caught) and Brian's rocket shoes.

Sean was working in his shift on the coffee shop, before he saw people running away, and before the windows at the shop broke because of the zombots. He wasn't home, and there was only a few things that can held them back, so He just ran away, trying to find somewhere safe, bringing anything he can.

ANYWAY, RT and Kevin managed to find a shelter that was created by the restoration HQ and stayed there for a while. Dan works with others to try and save other people by using his extreme gear, while Kevin helps inside the shelter as much as he can.

Brian and Daithi was camping from place to place before getting a notice that there was a restoration HQ ship near them. They tried to make a run for it while getting chased by the Zombots, before they got surrounded just close to the ship. They fought as hard as they can before Brian just, picks Daithi up and throws him into the ship, leaving him behind. There's a whole 'I'm not leaving you again!' scene or something, (like that one scene with Vector and Espio) where Daithi tries to get out and help, but was stopped by the other civillians inside, while he watched Brian getting consumed by the horde.

Sean manages to run into the shelter Dan and Kevin is in, and helps too, while getting a few supplies. He works both Inside and outside, sometimes becoming Intel for whatever is happening outside and helping Dan get out of tight situations.

Anyway, Daithi later also arrives, informing the Lads about Brian's situation. Sean decides to help, Dan too whenever he can, while Kevin still mostly stays inside, but going outside once or twice if the other lads aren't there to help Daithi.

Though things got worse. After one particular nasty situation, Dan eventually catches the virus when he was out with Sean, rescuing any alive civilians. Sean went to help him, but Dan just, told him to go, to go back to the HQ while with the consciousness he still had, Dan will try and stop any Zombots while Sean and the others escape.

We get back to Brian and he did got infected, his robot parts are trying to fight through the virus since it mostly affected his alive parts, so some of his consciousness is there. He tried his best to help others escape, but it is becoming hard as his own robot side starts to get corrupted.

Sean later also got infected while going through an abandoned city, trying to find any survivor, before eventually encountering a horde with some other people and tried to run for it, but he got pulled by the zombots as he was climbing a ladder to the roof, and eventually turned into a zombot.

I'll try to make this quick, but at the end the only lads who weren't infected are Kevin and Daithi. They did go through some tight stuff, almost getting infected here and there. At the end before every virus was taken away, the shelter was ambushed and they were trying to hold them back as best as they can, though after months and maybe year? I forgot how long the fucking arc was of fighting and surviving, they are getting very exhausted. But good timing since the whole end of the arc happened, and the virus vanished.

Later on both of them tried to find where the other lads were, though Dan did find his extreme gear again and managed to go to the shelter again, reuniting with Kevin and Daithi, Sean was later found in an abandoned building while Brian was inside another shelter with other people.

[kiwinatorwaffles]

Kiwi have you never seen the amazing/horrid Xisumavoid april fools video?

well i have now.

this feels. Wrong.

theres a disturbance in the universe. something is............. Incorrect.

OKAY REAL TALK. this video is reminding me that x is such a crazy good actor it's scary. he's definitely not the type of roleplayer like ren where he gets into a role and gets all dramatic no no no the thing about x is that he acts like Himself all the time.

like me watching this video im like naw yeah this is an april fools prank. thats not actual x he's acting. but he sounds so in character my brain is fucking with me every single second he speaks and thats what makes it so unsettling like SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

im actually gonna believe c!x did this for an april fools bit and then broke down after the video was made /jjjj

AND THE MONSTER ENERGY BIT. my headcanon is that he drinks tea flavored monster energy whenever he Really needs the caffeine so thanks xisuma for confirming im right again /silly

(also the part where he said cities skylines didnt go anywhere. sorry x i love your content but your city was too functional. so i went to go watch RT blow up virginia and make a poop volcano)

heres the link to the video for anyone interested

[sootneo]

i've been brainrotting a pokémon au with gamblerduo (rtgame and jerma985) simply because i have nothing else to occupy my brain with.

i could only come up with jeremy's team up until now because rt's would be based on stats and stuff like that which would be a bit difficult and take a long time, at least until i rewatch a few of his pokémon videos and try to guess which pokémon he'd keep in a permanent team on an universe he's an actual trainer. jerma's team is far easier because he caught his pokémon based on weirdness, cuteness, ugliness. the uglier the better. giant doll eyes? absolutely. looks like a fucking beast who could smash him into a pulp and is also the most horrid thing you could ever see? it's his now.

anyways, hear me out:

his first pokémon was a buzzwole who was lurking after him, a huge ugly thing that was actually super clingy and lovely towards jerma after he caught it, but despite its jolly nature, he's scared shitless of it. he doesn't trap it in a pokéball because he thinks letting all his pokémon loose is good, but he's immensely scared of ever referring to it (he feeds it, and gives it Scared Affection when it needs, but nothing past it). also, the main reason why it liked jerma so much was because he was just some beefy blond guy with nice eyes walking around without any buddies yet (other than human friends), so the big bug just found himself in jeremy, deciding his vibe was nice enough.

the second one he had ever gotten was a pupitar, which he didn't even know was previously a larvitar. for some reason the idea of carrying around that big dumb cocoon was really funny and he decided to commit to the bit, putting it inside a backpack after he and his buzzwole decided to actually do something cool for once and go battle away in the world. BUT! when he had to make it fight after his low level buzzwole fainted, he simply watched it win, start shining and evolve into a huge tyranitar right in front of him. it has a naive nature, and it's almost as harmless as his buzzwole. he's also pretty scared of it because it's fucking huge, but jerma's more used to its cute eyes, so he learned how to take care of his two beasts and love them despite the fact they could easily kill him.

his third pokémon was espurr. he wasn't scared of it, just curious, thinking it was some funky little guy. he didn't know it had a sassy nature, so trying to befriend it was a bit stressful. in the end, he ended up adding it to his team after they went on a little mission together and he could properly bond with it. the big eyed little thing is now always on his shoulders, staring at people, like "this is my trainer. fuck off. i'm trying to explode you with my mind."

his noivern, of quirky nature, was literally the only noibat that had evolved in the cave jerma entered, and it flew right into his face. just fucking ran him over. and it startled literally everyone because of its weird ass ears that no one had ever seen before. and everyone screamed. and the noivern was stuck to him. and they were trying to run/fly. and it was fucking chaos. they ended up bonding after the screams made the entrance to the cave get closed off by falling rocks, the noivern helping him get out, not only getting closer to jerma but the team he had. it wanted jerma to catch it at the end, and it was welcomed with open arms.

oh, what about his toxtricity? his? he doesn't have any toxtricity???? oh. the one who suddenly started accompanying him on his journey but he never realized he didn't catch and it was simply a wild pokémon being his friend? just some low-key toxtricity who was Just There out of a sudden and no one really paid attention to the fact it just joined them like he was caught?? oh yeah, THAT toxtricity. he ended up giving it a pokéball after people pointed out how funny it was to have a pokémon be yours and not yours at the same time, the chill guy even bringing him an ultraball just because it didn't like regular pokéballs nor greatballs. it had chill nature obviously, and it helped jerma charge his phone even before becoming part of the team. overall an amazing buddy, bonded with noivern the most.

his final buddy was a goddamn shiinotic that just... has a lot of brains. it has brave nature. and it just gets really stressed watching everyone else get into trouble and get fucked up over the silliest things. so instead of using it's little fingers on a sleeping jerma the first time it saw him sleeping on the floor of the forest, it had to wake people up over his tyranitar rolling over and almost crushing him with its weight. and it just started doing that for him. instead of a c= face, it has a >=c face now. it's always on jerma's hair too, on clinging onto his backpack, it has become friends with espurr too since they seem to be the smallest in size yet the biggest in brains on the team.

btw, he doesn't know the gender of any of his pokémon, and he doesn't care much, and when it comes to funky accessories, sometimes they wear ribbons, sometimes they put bowties, everyone just kinda stayed gender neutral to him and since they all don't seem to mind, he also doesn't ask. they're just his friends, being male or female doesn't really change his views on them or anything else, since they don't got attract or any gender based move. he also doesn't know that, at some point, his team became insanely strong. his buzzwole could be lvl 87 and he doesn't know. his tyranitar is about lvl 80, meanwhile espurr and shiinotic are both at lvl 100. toxtricity is a bit weaker, at lvl 69, but it's because it is a bit lazy to battle. the items they hold were all given by espurr too, he doesn't understand much about being a trainer yet, but he slowly starts getting the hang of it and is at a medium level amount of knowledge.

[pepprs]

the specific way i am ******** *** is so fucking sad and painful but also so fucking funny

[carlottastudios]

Rosegarden week 2.0 Day 2: Silver

“It’s…It’s beautiful!” Ruby’s eyes shone as she held up the silver rose necklace, a huge smile on her face.

Oscar grinned, evidently pleased with his anniversary present.

“I take it that means you like it?”

“I love it!” she leaped at him, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Whoa! Be careful Ruby! The jewellery looks fragile!” warned Taiyang from where he leaned against the kitchen counter.

“And expensive.” added Qrow. “Where’d you get the money for that, kid?”

Oscar managed to answer the huntsman’s question, but not without difficulty, as he was noticeably distracted by Ruby kissing him again and again.

“Years and years of saving up my allowance. Plus a lot of extra farmwork for my relatives.” he smiled proudly. “Totally worth it.” then he turned his head to Ruby’s barrage of kisses with one of his own.

She gave him a few last pecks before pulling away, bouncing giddy joy.

“I’m going to put this on right now!” she held up the necklace excitedly.

“Maybe you should get changed first?” suggested Oscar. “We gotta be on our way soon.”

“I was going to do that too!” she said, then giving more kiss on the cheek before she raced upstairs.

Only a few minutes later, she came back down, now dressed in her chosen attire for the evening. Oscar’s eyes went wide as he saw her. Ruby’s dress was a cloud-like silver silk and it helped bring out the beautiful pearly colour of her eyes. Her new necklace a noticeably paler shade and, from where it sat below her collarbone, its tiny petals glimmered like water in the moonlight. Ruby smiled.

“So, how do I look?” she asked, her pinks a delicate pink, and though she appeared calm, the shifting of her feet in their dark grey flats betrayed her shyness.

“Gorgeous.” Oscar said dreamily, causing Ruby to giggle.

The young man managed to collect himself and offered her his arm. She accepted it, but stopped and withdrew her arm.

“Shoot! I almost forgot your present!”

She rushed upstairs, coming back a few seconds later holding a small dark blue box with silver ribbon tied around it in a bow.

“It’s not nearly as romantic as yours, but I hope you like it anyway.”

“If it’s from you, I know I will.” Oscar assured her, undoing the bow and opening the box.

Inside, laid on a bed of white fabric, was a pair of rectangular reading glasses, the dark wire rims glinting in the lamp light.

“You got me new glasses!” Oscar exclaimed, delighted, and he wrapped Ruby in a hug. “Thank you, Ruby! This is the best anniversary gift ever!”

“No, yours is the best!” she argued, kissing him.

“Oh, would you two just go already!” said Qrow. “You’re gonna give us all cavities!”

“Stop being so cynical, Qrow!” Tai chastised, then to the teens he said: “Have a wonderful anniversary, you two!”

“We will dad!” Ruby smiled to Tai, then waved at Qrow. “See you later dad!”

“Don’t have too much fun.” her biological father cautioned, but his tone was light and his smile warm.

Oscar chuckled.

“Sorry, Qrow, but we can’t make any promises.”

Qrow nodded approvingly.

“Good man. See you later.”

“Bye kids!” Tai waved to them as they stepped out of the house.

“Bye!” they answered, then started off.

After walking a little while in the fading light of late afternoon, Oscar broke the silence.

“I don’t mean to brag, but now that I think about it, I guess you could say my gift is the more fitting one.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ruby, looking up at him.

“Well, it turns out that silver is actually the colour associated with couples’ 10th wedding anniversaries.” Oscar explained, then added quickly. “And I know that we’re not married, and it hasn’t been 10 years, but this is technically our 10th date.”

“You’re right!” Ruby smiled. “At least, so long as you’re only counting ‘real’ dates.” she said, to which Oscar nodded. “You know, when we actually plan for it as a date and it starts as a date and ends as a date and doesn’t turn into a fight with a bunch of grimm or something?”

They both shared a laugh at that. That particular turn of events was one they had experienced many times. Too many times for their liking. There was nothing more annoying then when your nice evening with your significant other was rudely interrupted by a stranger bursting into the restaurant shouting that a pack of beowulfs had been spotted at the outskirts of town or by a nevermore flying over the theatre where you were watching a movie or even an ursa barging in on the romantic picnic you’d spent hours planning and preparing. This last had particularly irked Oscar as he had indeed spent hours picking the right spot for that picnic and getting the food ready himself. Food which had nearly gone to waste with the ursa’s attack. He was so peeved by this that he’d nearly killed the brute with a single hit. Luckily, such events hadn’t always transpired. Oscar and Ruby had managed to have 9 successful, completely uninterrupted and very enjoyable dates, and hopefully this would be the tenth.

“So I was right!” said Ruby. “Yours is the best anniversary gift! Ever!”

Oscar smiled at her.

“No. No, it’s not.” he said softly, putting an arm around her, the silver-eyed girl of his dreams, as they kept walking. “Because you’re the best anniversary gift ever.”

[r-ene]

02.26.22

- day 30/50

today's verse: "‘Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand… For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’ - Isaiah 41:10,13

long dayyyyy

started my day with virtual open house to one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country, also the hospital where I might be having my internship during my 4th year in BSRT and ending my day in my past college's university hospital, accompanying my sister to get her punctured wound checked out

today's productivity:

attended an open house for a medical school (though I'll be practicing as an RT for awhile once I graduate and get my license :) )

attended my first ever youth service today !!

completed PAE youtube transcriptions

did some extra reading on PAE and CRP (pharmacology is very interesting, I might spend a lot of time reading with MIMS but I might not be able to include the notes for my extra reading to my compilation project since there's almost 30 drugs mentioned in class, it's not required but yk)

3/15 FRT youtube transcriptions done

completed a groupwork for DA

scheduled sent my PAE compilation for its due day

reviewed parts of the brain while waiting in the hospital

caught up on international news - me and my friend have conversations about the current issues and for now i'll be educating myself, spread awareness and pray as hard as I can for what is happening to Ukraine as there's only much we can do for now. The pastor from the youth service shared that he and other pastors all over the world have their group chat and the pastors in Ukraine shared that they have their Church underground. Even in war, they still preach, pray and believe. Therefore I believe we should also do the same, no matter what religion, we should keep praying and believing that they will receive the help and justice they deserve.

Hoping everyone to keep safe, be safe, wherever you might be in the world. Good night 💫

[bubblegum-gf]

this is gonna be a ramble

I feel like rtumblr permanently changed something in my brain. I was thinking about the barbie thing and how rt is so barbie-coded (endless barbies, endless rts) and then I remembered like, well no. this isn't real. this is all fake rt lore. he's just a youtuber! and somehow he became the blorbo ultimate!

like I joke about ooh in my rtcu headcanon the rtgod came down into our fictional tumblr world and said what the fuck is all this and then all the rtumblrites went mad trying to recreate him or the universe broke and rts started appearing or whatever but like are we okay???? has anyone been outside in the past 3 years??? we're still in the real world right? I've been going on about this for 3 years like no time has passed. are we sure something didn't actually shift in the universe?? but it all feels so right??? and there's that rt tournament on reddit/discord right now that I assume isn't tumblr affiliated. why has this happened in multiple instances???? why is rt so determined to multiply?? does this happen in other fandoms and we just notice cuz we made a sorta meta bit out of it?

and the worst part is, judging by what the plot of the barbie movie seems to be, all this existentialism just makes him more barbie-coded!

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Religious Trauma Syndrome: How Some Organized Religion Leads to Mental Health Problems

By Valerie Tarico

Marlene Winell interviewed March 25, 2013

At age sixteen I began what would be a four year struggle with bulimia. When the symptoms started, I turned in desperation to adults who knew more than I did about how to stop shameful behavior—my Bible study leader and a visiting youth minister.  “If you ask anything in faith, believing,” they said. “It will be done.” I knew they were quoting [3] the Word of God. We prayed together, and I went home confident that God had heard my prayers. But my horrible compulsions didn’t go away. By the fall of my sophomore year in college, I was desperate and depressed enough that I made a suicide attempt. The problem wasn’t just the bulimia. I was convinced by then that I was a complete spiritual failure. My college counseling department had offered to get me real help (which they later did). But to my mind, at that point, such help couldn’t fix the core problem: I was a failure in the eyes of God. It would be years before I understood that my inability to heal bulimia through the mechanisms offered by biblical Christianity was not a function of my own spiritual deficiency but deficiencies in Evangelical religion itself.  

Dr. Marlene Winell is a human development consultant in the San Francisco Area. She is also the daughter of Pentecostal missionaries. This combination has given her work an unusual focus. For the past twenty years she has counseled men and women in recovery from various forms of fundamentalist religion including the Assemblies of God denomination in which she was raised. Winell is the author of Leaving the Fold – A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion [4], written during her years of private practice in psychology. Over the years, Winell has provided assistance to clients whose religious experiences were even more damaging than mine. Some of them are people whose psychological symptoms weren’t just exacerbated by their religion, but actually caused by it.  

Two years ago, Winell made waves by formally labeling what she calls “Religious Trauma Syndrome” (RTS) and beginning to write and speak on the subject for professional audiences. When the British Association of Behavioral and Cognitive Psychologists published a series of articles on the topic, members of a Christian counseling association protested what they called excessive attention to a “relatively niche topic.” One commenter said, “A religion, faith or book cannot be abuse but the people interpreting can make anything abusive.”

Is toxic religion simply misinterpretation? What is religious trauma? Why does Winell believe religious trauma merits its own diagnostic label?

Let’s start this interview with the basics. What exactly is religious trauma syndrome?

Winell: Religious trauma syndrome (RTS) is a set of symptoms and characteristics that tend to go together and which are related to harmful experiences with religion. They are the result of two things: immersion in a controlling religion and the secondary impact of leaving a religious group. The RTS label provides a name and description that affected people often recognize immediately. Many other people are surprised by the idea of RTS, because in our culture it is generally assumed that religion is benign or good for you. Just like telling kids about Santa Claus and letting them work out their beliefs later, people see no harm in teaching religion to children.

But in reality, religious teachings and practices sometimes cause serious mental health damage. The public is somewhat familiar with sexual and physical abuse in a religious context. As Journalist Janet Heimlich has documented in, Breaking Their Will, Bible-based religious groups that emphasize patriarchal authority in family structure and use harsh parenting methods can be destructive.

But the problem isn’t just physical and sexual abuse. Emotional and mental treatment in authoritarian religious groups also can be damaging because of 1) toxic teachings like eternal damnation or original sin 2) religious practices or mindset, such as punishment, black and white thinking, or sexual guilt, and 3) neglect that prevents a person from having the information or opportunities to develop normally.

Can you give me an example of RTS from your consulting practice?

Winell: I can give you many. One of the symptom clusters is around fear and anxiety. People indoctrinated into fundamentalist Christianity as small children sometimes have memories of being terrified by images of hell and apocalypse before their brains could begin to make sense of such ideas. Some survivors, who I prefer to call “reclaimers,” [8] have flashbacks, panic attacks, or nightmares in adulthood even when they intellectually no longer believe the theology. One client of mine, who during the day functioned well as a professional, struggled with intense fear many nights. She said,

“I was afraid I was going to hell. I was afraid I was doing something really wrong. I was completely out of control. I sometimes would wake up in the night and start screaming, thrashing my arms, trying to rid myself of what I was feeling. I’d walk around the house trying to think and calm myself down, in the middle of the night, trying to do some self-talk, but I felt like it was just something that – the fear and anxiety was taking over my life.” Or consider this comment, which refers to a film [9] used by evangelicals to warn about the horrors of the “end times” for nonbelievers.

“I was taken to see the film “A Thief In The Night”. WOW.  I am in shock to learn that many other people suffered the same traumas I lived with because of this film. A few days or weeks after the film viewing, I came into the house and mom wasn’t there. I stood there screaming in terror. When I stopped screaming, I began making my plan: Who my Christian neighbors were, who’s house to break into to get money and food. I was 12 years old and was preparing for Armageddon alone.”

In addition to anxiety, RTS can include depression, cognitive difficulties, and problems with social functioning. In fundamentalist Christianity, the individual is considered depraved and in need of salvation. A core message is “You are bad and wrong and deserve to die.” (The wages of sin is death [10].) This gets taught to millions of children through organizations like Child Evangelism Fellowship [11] and there is a group organized [12]  to oppose their incursion into public schools.  I’ve had clients who remember being distraught when given a vivid bloody image of Jesus paying the ultimate price for their sins. Decades later they sit telling me that they can’t manage to find any self-worth.

“After twenty-seven years of trying to live a perfect life, I failed. . . I was ashamed of myself all day long. My mind battling with itself with no relief. . . I always believed everything that I was taught but I thought that I was not approved by God. I thought that basically I, too, would die at Armageddon.

“I’ve spent literally years injuring myself, cutting and burning my arms, taking overdoses and starving myself, to punish myself so that God doesn’t have to punish me. It’s taken me years to feel deserving of anything good.”

Born-again Christianity and devout Catholicism [13] tell people they are weak and dependent, calling on phrases like “lean not unto your own understanding [14]” or “trust and obey [11].” People who internalize these messages can suffer from learned helplessness. I’ll give you an example from a client who had little decision-making ability after living his entire life devoted to following the “will of God.” The words here don’t convey the depth of his despair.

“I have an awful time making decisions in general. Like I can’t, you know, wake up in the morning, “What am I going to do today?” Like I don’t even know where to start. You know all the things I thought I might be doing are gone and I’m not sure I should even try to have a career; essentially I babysit my four-year-old all day.”

Authoritarian religious groups are subcultures where conformity is required in order to belong. Thus if you dare to leave the religion, you risk losing your entire support system as well.

“I lost all my friends. I lost my close ties to family. Now I’m losing my country. I’ve lost so much because of this malignant religion and I am angry and sad to my very core. . . I have tried hard to make new friends, but I have failed miserably. . . I am very lonely.”

Leaving a religion, after total immersion, can cause a complete upheaval of a person’s construction of reality, including the self, other people, life, and the future. People unfamiliar with this situation, including therapists, have trouble appreciating the sheer terror it can create.

“My form of religion was very strongly entrenched and anchored deeply in my heart. It is hard to describe how fully my religion informed, infused, and influenced my entire worldview. My first steps out of fundamentalism were profoundly frightening and I had frequent thoughts of suicide. Now I’m way past that but I still haven’t quite found “my place in the universe.”

Even for a person who was not so entrenched, leaving one’s religion can be a stressful and significant transition.

Many people seem to walk away from their religion easily, without really looking back. What is different about the clientele you work with?

Winell: Religious groups that are highly controlling, teach fear about the world, and keep members sheltered and ill-equipped to function in society are harder to leave easily. The difficulty seems to be greater if the person was born and raised in the religion rather than joining as an adult convert. This is because they have no frame of reference – no other “self” or way of “being in the world.” A common personality type is a person who is deeply emotional and thoughtful and who tends to throw themselves wholeheartedly into their endeavors. “True believers” who then lose their faith feel more anger and depression and grief than those who simply went to church on Sunday.

Aren’t these just people who would be depressed, anxious, or obsessive anyways?

Winell: Not at all. If my observation is correct, these are people who are intense and involved and caring. They hang on to the religion longer than those who simply “walk away” because they try to make it work even when they have doubts. Sometimes this is out of fear, but often it is out of devotion. These are people for whom ethics, integrity and compassion matter a great deal. I find that when they get better and rebuild their lives, they are wonderfully creative and energetic about new things.

In your mind, how is RTS different from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Winell: RTS is a specific set of symptoms and characteristics that are connected with harmful religious experience, not just any trauma. This is crucial to understanding the condition and any kind of self-help or treatment. (More details about this can be found on my Journey Free [15] website and discussed in my talk [16] at the Texas Freethought Convention.)

Another difference is the social context, which is extremely different from other traumas or forms of abuse. When someone is recovering from domestic abuse, for example, other people understand and support the need to leave and recover. They don’t question it as a matter of interpretation, and they don’t send the person back for more. But this is exactly what happens to many former believers who seek counseling. If a provider doesn’t understand the source of the symptoms, he or she may send a client for pastoral counseling, or to AA, or even to another church. One reclaimer expressed her frustration this way:

“Include physically-abusive parents who quote “Spare the rod and spoil the child” as literally as you can imagine and you have one fucked-up soul: an unloved, rejected, traumatized toddler in the body of an adult. I’m simply a broken spirit in an empty shell. But wait...That’s not enough!? There’s also the expectation by everyone in society that we victims should celebrate this with our perpetrators every Christmas and Easter!!”

Just like disorders such as autism or bulimia, giving RTS a real name has important advantages. People who are suffering find that having a label for their experience helps them feel less alone and guilty. Some have written to me to express their relief:

“There’s actually a name for it! I was brainwashed from birth and wasted 25 years of my life serving Him! I’ve since been out of my religion for several years now, but I cannot shake the haunting fear of hell and feel absolutely doomed. I’m now socially inept, unemployable, and the only way I can have sex is to pay for it.”

Labeling RTS encourages professionals to study it more carefully, develop treatments, and offer training. Hopefully, we can even work on prevention.

What do you see as the difference between religion that causes trauma and religion that doesn’t?

Winell: Religion causes trauma when it is highly controlling and prevents people from thinking for themselves and trusting their own feelings. Groups that demand obedience and conformity produce fear, not love and growth. With constant judgment of self and others, people become alienated from themselves, each other, and the world. Religion in its worst forms causes separation.

Conversely, groups that connect people and promote self-knowledge and personal growth can be said to be healthy. The book, Healthy Religion [17], describes these traits. Such groups put high value on respecting differences, and members feel empowered as individuals.  They provide social support, a place for events and rites of passage, exchange of ideas, inspiration, opportunities for service, and connection to social causes. They encourage spiritual practices that promote health like meditation or principles for living like the golden rule. More and more, non-theists are asking [18] how they can create similar spiritual communities without the supernaturalism. An atheist congregation [19] in London launched this year and has received over 200 inquiries from people wanting to replicate their model.

Some people say that terms like “recovery from religion” and “religious trauma syndrome” are just atheist attempts to pathologize religious belief.

Winell: Mental health professionals have enough to do without going out looking for new pathology. I never set out looking for a “niche topic,” and certainly not religious trauma syndrome. I originally wrote a paper for a conference of the American Psychological Association and thought that would be the end of it. Since then, I have tried to move on to other things several times, but this work has simply grown.

In my opinion, we are simply, as a culture, becoming aware of religious trauma. More and more people are leaving religion, as seen by polls [20] showing that the “religiously unaffiliated” have increased in the last five years from just over 15% to just under 20% of all U.S. adults. It’s no wonder the internet is exploding with websites for former believers from all religions, providing forums [21] for people to support each other. The huge population of people “leaving the fold” includes a subset at risk for RTS, and more people are talking about it and seeking help.  For example, there are thousands of former Mormons [22], and I was asked to speak about RTS at an Exmormon Foundation conference.  I facilitate an international support group online called Release and Reclaim [23]  which has monthly conference calls. An organization called Recovery from Religion, [24] helps people start self-help meet-up groups

Saying that someone is trying to pathologize authoritarian religion is like saying someone pathologized eating disorders by naming them. Before that, they were healthy? No, before that we weren’t noticing. People were suffering, thought they were alone, and blamed themselves.  Professionals had no awareness or training. This is the situation of RTS today. Authoritarian religion is already pathological, and leaving a high-control group can be traumatic. People are already suffering. They need to be recognized and helped. _______________________________

Statistics update:

Numbers of American ‘nones’ continues to rise

October 18, 2019

By David Crary – Associated Press

The portion of Americans with no religious affiliation is rising significantly, in tandem with a sharp drop in the percentage that identifies as Christians, according to new data from the Pew Research Center. …

Pew says all categories of the religiously unaffiliated population – often referred to as the “nones” grew in magnitude. Self-described atheists now account for 4% of U.S. adults, up from 2% in 2009; agnostics account for 5%, up from 3% a decade ago; and 17% of Americans now describe their religion as “nothing in particular,” up from 12% in 2009.

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2019/1018/Numbers-of-American-nones-continues-to-rise

_______________________________

Marlene Winell interviewed by Valerie Tarico on recovering from religious trauma Uploaded on January 31, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIfABmbqSMA

24:12

On Moral Politics, a TV program with host Dr. Valerie Tarico, Marlene Winell describes the trauma that can result from harmful experiences with religious indoctrination. Dr. Winell explains that mental health issues are widespread and need to be understood just as we understand PTSD. There are steps to recovery, treatment modalities, and resources available as well. She now refers to this as RTS or Religious Trauma Syndrome. _______________________________

Links:
 
[3] https://www.biblestudyonjesuschrist.com/pog/ask1.htm 
[4] https://marlenewinell.net/leaving-fold-former 
[8] https://journeyfree.org/article/reclaimers/ 
[9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Thief_in_the_Night_%28film%29 
[10] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+6%3A23&version=KJV 
[11] https://valerietarico.com/2011/02/04/our-public-schools-their-mission-field/ 
[12] http://www.intrinsicdignity.com/ 
[13] https://www.maryjohnson.co/an-unquenchable-thirst/ 
[14] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3%3A5-6&version=KJV [15] https://journeyfree.org/category/uncategorized/ [16] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qrE4pMBlis 
[17] https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Religion-Psychological-Guide-Mature/dp/1425924166 [18] https://www.humanistchaplaincy.org/ [19] https://www.christianpost.com/news/london-atheist-church-model-looking-to-expand-worldwide-91516 [20] https://www.pewforum.org/2012/10/09/nones-on-the-rise/ 
[21] https://new.exchristian.net/ 
[22] https://www.exmormon.org/ 
[23] https://journeyfree.org/group-forum/ [24] https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

_____________________________________

Get God’s Self-Appointed Messengers Out of Your Head

Valerie Tarico Which buzz phrases from your past are stuck in your brain? “God’s messengers” were all real complicated people with biases, blind spots, favorite foods and morning breath. They were not gods and they are not you. So how can you get them out of your head or at least reduce them to muffled background noise?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfyYA420F0

[convoy914]

Okay, so, regarding those RWBY/Transformers crossovers I’ve thought up, we have: General/IDW, which I already rambled about a bit here, then I put a bit of thought into what a “fusion fic” type thing for Beast Wars and Animated would look like (I.e, the crews from there land on Remnant instead. The Beast Wars would be a bit different on a planet populated by sapient beings (tho still linked to Earth’s past) plus expansion on ideas the original cartoon didn’t have the budget to delve into (also the Gods are Vok. Like, the leaders of the Vok), and for Animated Remnant would look a bit different from canon when the Autobots wake up due to a young Pietro Polendina discovering Megatron’s head. Haven’t delved into this as much as Beast Wars, but it’s an idea)(Plus, consider, Technorganic Penny).

Also a bit of a different idea for the Unicron Trilogy. It’s post canon for them, and a crossover between universes rather than a fusion type thing. The idea is, after the Black Hole is closed, Unicron’s consciousness ends up on Remnant after the Fall of Beacon, and if Remnant dies while it’s on it... Anyways the point is that RWBY characters get “bonded spirit guides” in the form of perfect mental duplicates of Unicron Trilogy bots. It’s complicated. And yeah, there‘s power ups as a result; this IS the Unicron Trilogy we’re talking about here. Also I took the opportunity to address the continuity issues with Cybertron AND give Unicron some pathos. Cause I can)

And well, I’m probably the only person on the planet who’s given serious though into what a RWBY/Beast Wars: Uprising crossover would look like (basically, RWBY characters end up in the Uprising universe), and you know those fics that are like “character x ends up in another franchise after dying”? Let’s delve into the psychological effects of that, with dead RWBY characters on TFP Earth. SOMEONE has to take these concepts to their full potentials, and I suppose that’s gonna be me. Oh, and I imagined the Hasbro Universe on Remnant as well (and threw in other RT stuff) and thought up a tiny thing about Optimus Prime and Megatron alone on Remnant. AND OF COURSE: AUs of these AUs. Shattered Glass, Functionist Universe, dead TFP bots on Remnant, stuff like that. My brain does this stuff. I mean, SOMEONE had to. There’s only ONE actually good RWBY/Transformers crossover actually written out there, SOMEONE had to pick up the slack, even if just in my own head

Speaking of which: THERE Swapsy, I talked about my ideas without being self-deprecating about how self-indulgent they are. Are you happy now? (No but seriously thanks. I still think no one else will like them, but y’know. Now, ask me about the Amalgamation AU)(if you want to, obvs)

[iamnightduchess]

Hey Queen, so I was rewatching season 2 of AOT, and obviously, I saw the amazing Reiner and Bertholdt betrayal scene. I couldn’t help but imagine how that scene would play out in the Twilight Blue universe. May I ask for your headcanons of the Twilight Blue universe? I’m also really curious if Mikasa and Reiner would get back together since they teamed up in the manga to defeat Eren. Thanks!

Hello my dear. Thank you so much for the wonderful Ask! Here’s hoping that your weekend has started out great so far. The S2E6 scene is legendary on its own through the nonchalant way Reiner revealed his & Bertolt’s true identity to the Islanders. In the Twilight Blue Universe, it would be a lot more impactful on both Mikasa & Reiner emotionally. The following (super long) headcanon would be what I envision had happened & also, the possibility of them getting back together again in current canon timeline of the manga.

Read on more for your reading pleasure!

ReiKasa Fic AU Headcanon #4

Universe: Twilight Blue (Note: for this headcanon, the epilogue never took place & the only person who is aware of ReiKasa’s secret relationship would be Bertolt. There's some BeruKasa moments too.) Rhythmic muse included in the links below!

Pre-Reveal

* After the end of Twilight Blue, Reiner & Mikasa had been seeing each other in secrecy. Bertolt would frequently and naturally be the one who provides an excuse for Reiner’s occasional disappearances and he’d also be the one who actually help to switch Reiner’s kitchen or laundry duties so they would coincide with Mikasa’s turn making it easier for the couple to sneak in more alone time together.

* Their relationship continues even when they both enlisted with the Survey Corps.

* Mikasa & Reiner have several secret rendezvous spot(s) : i) the library, right at the secluded area of the fitness books section, ii) the nearby forest for an early morning run, iii) the kitchen storage room. When they've been reassigned to the SC's old headquarters, they frequently snuck into an old attic up in one of the older towers.

* Mikasa can be seen staying longer whenever Eren & Armin hung out with Reiner & Bertolt. It never escaped Armin's perceptive observation that Mikasa seemed to be more sociable only around boys like Reiner & Bertolt.

* During one of their secret trysts, Reiner promised to Mikasa that he'd bring her back to his home in the future to introduce her to his family. He even mentioned this in secret to Bertolt, which the latter protested immediately, arguing that Mikasa would have a horrible future in Marley if they ever take her back with the Founder. She would become their POW or worst, a breeder for the military due to her Ackerman blood. Bertolt reminded him that there are no possible future for them together.

* Since they've been keeping their relationship a secret, Reiner still is flirtatious around the other girls, much to Mikasa's envy. But she wasn't openly expressive of her feelings, therefore only Bertolt was able to tell when Mikasa is bothered by Reiner's behavior around the other female cadets.

* Bertolt would be the one to remind Reiner that he's being overboard but when his best friend apparently 'forgotten' that he's dating the top cadet, Bertolt eventually became the person that offers Mikasa the voice of reasoning.

* Reiner's apparent crush on Krista wasn't taken well by Mikasa. Reiner told her that it was all an act so no one would find out about their relationship. But it didn't hurt Mikasa less everytime he tries to flirt with the petite, beautiful girl right in front of her. It also didn't help that all the other cadets had been gossiping about how Reiner & Krista make a perfect couple, much to Ymir's annoyance as well.

* Bertolt began to spend more time with Mikasa alone, where he also shared with her of his secret feelings for Annie. They both bonded over having to keep their true feelings to themselves. At this point, Mikasa had already see Bertolt as a brother figure, just like Eren and Armin. The other cadets, however, began to suspect the nature of Bertolt & Mikasa’s relationship.

* Connie was the one who suggested that Bertolt & Mikasa had been 'tumbling in the hay' during dinner, when they were running late that one time from cleaning the stables. The way they both blushed & kept quiet only stirred up more rumors, much to Jean & Reiner's annoyance. That same night, after their evening roll call, inside that tiny attic space, Reiner, once again, reminded her on why there would be no other men that could make Mikasa feels the way he does. Part of him was being possessive, part of him was jealous.

* One incident where Mikasa fell off a tree and twisted her ankle to help a stray cat, actually almost caused a rift between Reiner & Bertolt. Reiner only then realized that he had hurt Mikasa's feelings the instant he felt envious when he saw Bertolt carrying the injured Mikasa in his arms. Bertolt asked him, "Why would you care about her?", causing Reiner to recognize that he hasn't been fair towards Mikasa ever since they began dating.

* Bertolt had to remind Reiner that they were not supposed to be attached to anyone on that island but they both know that it was already a line they had crossed.

Reveal & RtS “Say Something”

* The day before the emergency discreet meeting with the top SC officers had also been the last time Reiner & Mikasa had been intimate with each other.

* The night Hange revealed the SC's suspicions of the duo's true identity, Mikasa found it difficult to accept & she had secretly been hoping that their suspicions were untrue.

* When their squad arrives in time to rescue Reiner, Bertolt & the others in Utgard Castle, Mikasa had been worried about Reiner's injury but the way Reiner & Bertolt had been avoiding her gaze somehow confirms her worst fear.

* On top of Wall Rose, Mikasa had been dreading the moment that they're waiting to apprehend the two of them but Reiner's sudden mental breakdown pushed them all to the point of no return. Her hands had been shaking & she hesitated. Their objective was to apprehend them both for questioning, partly because she desperately wanted to talk to Reiner & to get his explanation.

* To say that Mikasa was disappointed that their suspicions were proven true would be an understatement. She was beyond devastated.

* Mikasa actually only wanted to hold Bertolt down so they could apprehend him. But Reiner pushed her off the wall, and this is because Reiner knew that Bertolt & him had to shift and he didn't want her to be caught in the transformation blast.

* The moment Reiner's psyche reinstates back to his Warrior alter, he had temporarily compartmentalized his existing feelings for Mikasa but his heart wouldn't allow him to do so.

* When the SC were chasing after Reiner, Bertolt & Eren, Reiner's heart ultimately broke the moment he heard Mikasa called him a plague of humanity in vain. His heart bled when he'd heard a Titan grabbed Mikasa & he'd heard her screaming in pain but he had to pretend that he felt nothing when it happened.

* Their relationship was as good as dead at that point and the end of the road for both of them, which was a premature, unspoken decision on both sides.

* The whole time when the SC were present during Hange’s introduction & briefing of the Thunder Spears, Mikasa’s brain had been thinking about Reiner the whole time & her feelings were hurt even worst than before.

* She knew they had no choice but to kill them & it didn’t make it even easier for her. It still hurts her to have to use that last Thunder Spear on him. She was still angry at him the whole time Hange was threatening him to explain about the place he came from, their mission & that mysterious letter for Historia. Never she’d expected that it would be the last time she’d ever see his face.

Post-Reveal  “It’s Not Goodbye”

* During her imprisonment for insubordination, Mikasa became depressed not only for the fact she now knew that both Eren & Armin have limited years left of living due to the Curse of Ymir, but it was also because of her guilt towards having to watch Bertolt being eaten alive by Armin’s raw titan form and also for a fact that Reiner would also be dying before Eren does.

* When Eren & Armin went to Reiner & Bertolt’s old room to clear their remaining possessions, it was Armin who told Mikasa that he’d kept them in the old attic instead of throwing them away. Mikasa kept Reiner’s old shirt that still has his scent on it from the storage & actually hid it under her pillow. It helped her through her difficult nights.

Time-Skip (Current Canon Timeline) “Love Story”  | “Tainted”

* Within that four years, they both had never stopped thinking about the other. It hurts Reiner so badly that he couldn’t allow himself to reminisce all of the beautiful moments he had with Mikasa and could only subconsciously thought of the last moment he’d ever saw her face; her sending an explosive projectile down his Titan’s throat.

* Mikasa had not talked to anyone about Reiner or even once mention his name within that four years. No one knew why she would seclude herself in the attic of one of the headquarters towers every other Saturday.

* Only Sasha knew of Mikasa’s secret relationship years later by accident as during one night, she had overheard Mikasa tossed and turned around in her sleep, calling out for Reiner’s name, her asking why and how could you in her sleep. Mikasa would later wakes up from her nightmare & hides herself in their shared bathroom, crying in the shower.

* The first time she sees Reiner’s Armored Titan again in Liberio, she couldn’t hide the disappointment on her face. She couldn’t even look at Reiner’s direction at all & she realizes that seeing him again still hurts her.

* She was genuinely concerned of Reiner’s safety after the Rumbling was initiated by Eren. Later on, when they were reunited through the Marley-Paradis alliance, all those old memories came flooding back. They both had grown physically & mentally older but the love, it has always been there. The moment she saw his sleeping figure, by gods, she had never known how much she’s been missing him.

* It pained her so much when she saw him being pummeled by Jean because of Marco’s death. Not even once he retaliated or defended himself. She’d never stopped worrying for him the moment he saw him immobilized inside his Titan form at the docks in their confrontation with the Jeagerists. Yet, not even once had she spoken to him directly ever since they were reunited.

* The first time they’ve ever spoken to each other was on the Hizuru steamer en route to Odiha. While Connie was busy tending to the injured Armin in the Medical Bay inside the ship, she helped clean Annie & Reiner’s wounds. “I miss you so damn much.” Were the first words he’d ever spoken to her after four and a half years. She pretended that she didn’t hear him at all.

* She avoided him on the steamer and even when they’re all gathered in the communal area to strategize, she’d spoken to everyone directly, even Annie & Pieck except him. Reiner also saw her observing the conversation Armin was having with Annie on the decks from afar and pulled her into one of secluded hallways to talk & to break the cold silence between them.

* She pushed him away and locked herself inside one of the unoccupied rooms as Reiner knocked on the door from the other side, kneeling and begging for her forgiveness, begging her not to shut him out. Mikasa hated herself even more with every tears that she had shed for both Eren and Reiner.

* Later that night, once they’ve docked in Odiha, Reiner knocked on her door once again to tell her that if tonight is the last night he’d have alive, he just wanted to apologize to her & he just didn’t want to have anymore regrets. 

* He begged and he pleaded, “I just wanted to be able to look at you in your eyes and tell you how very sorry I am for all the hurt I’ve caused you and there hasn’t been a day that went by without you on my mind. A part of me died a little bit each day since the day I left Paradis.”

* It took several swings of her fist against his chest, a slap on his cheek and a whispered, “I hate you” from her lips before it met his in a reawakened hunger. Old feelings and sparks reignited between the two former lovers. Inside a tiny bunker room on the Hizuru steam ship, two separated hearts reunited as one once again, so as their bodies.

* Now that Marley is in ruins & her mother is most probably dead, Reiner believes that he no longer has a home to return to. Mikasa disagrees & argues that he still has Gabi and he’d always have a home in her heart. Reiner realizes that if he ever survives their last stand against the Founder in Fort Salta the next day, he’d only wanted to spend the remaining time that he’d still had left alive with Mikasa, raising Gabi & Falco together.

* Right before they both dropped off from the plane to take down Eren’s Founding Titan, Reiner made one last promise to her: he’ll never leave her again & they will both return home together.

---------

I hope you’ve enjoyed the above & thanks again for sending in this fun Ask, @xrocketmanx! Take care & stay safe.

xoxo,

NightD

[adrienne-fh]

From the desk of...

Day 1- Introduce yourself! What’s some basic info you’d like to share about yourself? Also! What are you studying? (If you’re in college, what’s your major? which semester are you in?)

I am adrienne-fh. I am a non-traditional adult student attempting to complete my first Bachelor's Degree. I am a student at Oregon State University on hiatus. I studied Psychology and Statistics. I hope to resume soon.

I enjoy singing, reading, writing, twitch streaming. Starcraft, Hearthstone, World of Warcraft - RPGs, RTS, and fighting games are fun. I also enjoy Chess. I wear monochromatic outfits with an eye for textures. I’m a curly girl. All-natural everything but wear wigs as my hair grows back from a buzz cut.

I am an ordained minister through Universal Life Church. It is much more than being a wedding officiant! I offer a host of ministerial services including ceremonies for baptism, the dying, and funerals.

I am a person with chronic illness: Fibromyalgia and PTSD. This causes a range of difficulties, the hardest to deal with being pain and exhaustion. I’m a walking pin cushion with a pillow.

Day 2- If you’ve chosen a major, why did you decide on it? If you’re in any other grade, what field/major interests you the most?

I am interested in human behavior and high performers and the dark triad. I love to understand how our mind works. Because I am interested in psychometrics and informatics, I am developing my skill in statistics and programming.

I enjoy human-computer interaction and Natural Language Processing. AI and its impact on what it means to be a working adult are intriguing. Children are at an advantage, learning more skills sooner. All this, combined with wanting to be a part of the new wave of IoT and AI, starts with understanding who we are to appreciate who we are becoming. The impact on our decision-making and empathy is stunning.

I am a Mental Health Peer Supporter seeking provisional certification. I am also seeking ways to improve my pastoral counseling services. Psychology is key in many endeavors, even writing complex characters!

Day 3- Have you done a challenge before? If so, how was it? If not, what are you expecting to get out of this experience?

Yes! 100 Days of Productivity. I forget to post sometimes. I would like to develop consistency and use my blog to keep me accountable. Because I’m not so broken up about not always completing what I set out to do, I focus more on the joy of sharing my story with others and the connections I could make.

Day 4- For my researching fellows, what are you researching? If you’re not currently researching, what is the topic within your field that you’re most passionate about?

Mainly, the effectiveness of Online Mental Health Communities. How to make Online Health Communities work better. How we interact with Online Mental Health Communities and how they affect the way we feel and behave. How can Fountain House use its Virtual Club House to improve life satisfaction amongst members? 

I also research trends in AI, Beauty, and Goal Achievement.

Day 5- Tag 3 studyblrs that you like seeing on your dashboard.

@a-medstudents-journey 

@theologei

@a-study-in-dante

Day 6- Quickly! tag urself!

five pm. warm smiles. classy. aesthetic Instagram feed. anklets. soft music. yoga. face masks. @adrienne-fh

Day 7-  Some of your music faves right now (let’s say up to 5)

ABBA, Madonna, Vienna Teng, Ashnikko, Billie Ellish

Day 8- International Women’s Day! What’s your take on feminism?

It is obviously not much of a choice to be respectful to anyone, no matter gender or preference. We can complain about the conversations we are having or do more to have them. We have to treat each other better - humans in general.

Day 9- Write something that you’d like to tell yourself.

You can do it! You are doing it! It is getting better! Focus. Get rid of all the junk! You deserve the love and life you keep giving to everyone else.

Day 10- Tag someone whose aesthetic you love seeing on your feed.

@justanotherstudyblrinthecrowd

Day 11- What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t got the chance to do so?

Stand in front of the Louvre. Visit the Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família. Fall in deep mutual kind and compassionate love with lots of romance and care. Publish a print book - short stories, essays, novels, novellas, and of course poetry. I have a lot to share!

Day 12- Are you more into plants or flowers? What’s your fave type?

I really love succulents. The best of both. I really really love moss!

Day 13- Tell us the most eye-opening book you’ve read.

Oh. That’s really hard. I think of The Da Vinci Code and The Human Stain. Any book by Jonathan Safran Foer, particularly Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

Day 14-  What are some of the reasons you love yourself/should love yourself?

I am a divine child of light that believes in the cosmos lining up and giving all of us a big wink with a smile. I’m silly and playful. I’m dead serious smart, psychic, and a crazy protector of love and personal freedom. I fight away evil with nurturing and honesty. I’m a bit crazy and zany. I’m bizarre. I’m pretty much free-spirited and open with an edge.

Day 15- Tag someone who you think would get along just right with you.

@manuxstudies​

Day 16- What’s your go-to coffee/tea/beverage order?

Venti Flat White with sugar in the raw or Keto-Friendly Stevia Drops. Both are delicious. 

Day 17- Share with us your feel-good playlist.

Deep Focus

Brain Food

The Show Must Go On (Curated)

Day 18- Tag someone whose blog you constantly check.

@bakinginthewoods​

Day 19- Tell us about your online experience (is it sometimes overwhelming? Do you feel like it's a great way to get in touch with people? What’s something that you love seeing on here?)

Tumblr is soothing. Other online communities, not so much. I have gotten bullied, cyberattacked, stolen from, and had trouble with employment because of online hijinks based on Gossip and “Mean-Girling”. People who are stressed out and have a reputation to uphold lash out at people who are viewed as a threat (for whatever reason). We, as netizens, know that the whole “Bro Culture” thing can be toxic. I experienced gossip on steroids that resulted in financial loss, illness, and loss of employment. Hard to prove. However, finding and creating healthy spaces online that encourage creativity and sharing is possible. Some of my favorite supportive communities are Github, Quora, and Deviant Art. If you know of any, share a link in my comments. 

Day 20- What are three things that inspire you?

Music. I love deep lyrics and heavy percussion and bass. My journal entries. I love reading what I'm actually thinking (same with Vlogs). People-watching. You learn a lot about what matters watching our interactions silently.

Day 21- Share a quote that speaks to you.

“He who fears he will suffer already suffers because he fears.”

— Michel De Montaigne.

Day 22- What’s your comfort food/ comfort routine for sad days?

Peanut Butter and Jelly with a tall glass of cow milk.

Day 23- What’s some random miscellaneous piece of information that you just happen to know?

Kirk Hammett of Metallica met his wife while a film, jazz, and Asian studies student at SFU in CA.

Day 24- Share with us your favorite word (it can be in any language).

Pus. It's the Swedish word for Kiss. Bra, also Swedish, means good.

Day 25- Tag someone who has great text posts

@adrienne-fh

Day 26- What has been your best zoomester experience so far?

I can’t say which. This is pretty nice.

Day 27- If you’re about to graduate, what’s something that you’ll miss from school? If you aren’t about to graduate, tell us something you really love about school.

I enjoy reading and understanding difficult concepts. What a joy after a few hours of reading to finally understand!

Day 28- Spill the tea about the things that you’ve done during the zoomester (Online shopping, courses taken, any hobby)

I’ve doodled. I’ve zoned out. I’ve watched Twitch.

Day 29- Quick! Name your own aesthetic! or alternatively, what’s an aesthetic you’d like to try out?

Romanti-goth, Vamp, Cyber Punk (kinda). Pinup.

Day 30- What’s the best advice someone has given you?

Fake it till you make it. Show up and never give up. Burn your boats!

Day 31-  Send three people some uplifting messages!

@ava-embers Write more sexy stuff doll face.

@studyingwhilepsychotic smooches to my soul sister. Rage on wild child.

@twitchb-tch Shut up! You are too cute. You guys rock!

[theonceoverthinker]

Signs Clover Might Come Back

So if you’ve been reading this little blog for any amount of time since the end of the last year, you’d know I’ve had RWBY, Fair Game, and Clover Ebi on the brain. And if you’d been reading it for any amount of time since late January, then you’d know that both I and a lot of other people really, really, really hated the ultimate handling of each of those things following the release of 7X12.

But I’m not here to go off about that episode today (Though I still have PLENTY more to say on that front).

No, I’m here to look forward towards the upcoming volume with something a bit more optimistic (Given some of those quotes from the 7X12 commentary that have recently come to light and the possibility of a V8 trailer tomorrow, we could all use that right about now).

Volume 8 is about a month away, and with it, a large amount of the Fair Game/Clover Ebi community as well as myself are hoping Clover will be resurrected as a result of something we call the Staff of Creation Theory. 

Look, I probably don’t have to explain this to anyone reading this post, but just in case, the tldr of the theory is that the Staff of Creation will cease holding Atlas up and since it’s able to create, it just might be able to bring back the deceased as a form of recreation (I.E. Clover). I’ve made a theory or two about how it could work in the context of straight up execution, but again, that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

So -- incredibly long intro aside -- what AM I here to talk about?

Well, as the title states I want to talk about the signs that we can look for in V8 prior to any resurrection that can reasonably suggest that Clover might come back.

My overall thoughts on whether Clover will actually come back or not basically come down to a coin flip at this point. Trace amounts of evidence both in some of the animation from V7 and implications of comments heard here and there give off a real sense that he just might be revived after all, but then again, the writers have done little lately to inspire a lot of faith in me, and a large amount of my distrust with RT is that we had a lot more to go on that 7X12 wasn’t going to be...well, 7X12 before 7X12 was 7X12.

(Jenna, come on, you said you weren’t going to rant about it...)

MOVING ON!

Anyway, I compiled a brief list of realistic ideas that could happen in the context of Volume 8 (And its marketing, merch, etc.) before the theoretical resurrection as a means of foreshadowing it, as well as a brief explanation as to my reasonings for believing them to be meaningful and possible executions they could take in their implementations. Anything is on the table here, so now that this incredibly long intro that somehow got even longer is done, let’s get going!

List under the cut!

1. Clover appearing ANYWHERE in the V8 intro. Simply put, dead people tend to not show up in the RWBY intros following their passing. Maybe their graves will show up, as they have with Summer, but that’s about it. But even outside of that trend, Clover appearing in Volume 8′s intro would put some nice power in the theory’s corner. I don’t even think he necessarily has to be in it himself (though I absolutely want him to). Giving any amount of significant screen time to the pin would (while not as good for us as actually showing off Clover himself) still be a point in our favor of Clover’s importance to the characters. I could see this happening in two ways. First, if it’s not Clover appearing, but the pin, we could have Qrow looking at or wearing the pin and then the camera doing a closeup of it (Hopefully without the blood). Second, if it IS Clover appearing (And if he does appear in the intro, I’d say his chances of returning will be up significantly since they’re bothering to animate not just the pin, but Clover’s face/entire body), Clover could be dragged away from Qrow in sort of an abstract nightmare-ish thing akin to the visual of Qrow drinking in V6 directly. In both cases, they’d be followed by a transition to something relevant to his resurrection would be the real money ticket.

Transitions...

Now, the specifics of this as it pertains to Clover will be explained in the next point, but what you need to know right now is that transitions are incredibly important. Simply put, the sequences of events, especially as they exist in and pertain to large ensemble casts like the one we have in RWBY because so many things are happening simultaneously, are important. They have the ability to convey narrative insights; story beats can be glimpsed off of them and themes can be established or deconstructed by the order of plot and story points. 

What are those things that it would be really good to transition to after mentioning/showing Clover/Clover’s pin?

I am SO glad you asked, because I’m about to get to it!

2. Any mention of the sentiment of “dead is dead” in the context of Clover’s death followed by a transition to something that calls that very idea into question. Here we go. 

I’m of the mindset that we could be witnessing some very nice foreshadowing of a Clover revival if during a mention of Clover, something that’s said by someone (Qrow, Ironwood, Robyn, the Ace Ops) that’s akin to “there’s no way he can come back” or “dead is dead” is IMMEDIATELY followed by one the following things: The Staff of Creation itself or just the door to the staff’s vault, Penny or Ozpin (Formerly dead characters now resurrected, Penny being the current Winter Maiden and the only one able to access the staff) doing pretty much anything, or the base of the floating city and the blue magic under it. ANY of these things (And probably one or two others because I’m only one man here) carry with them a heaping helping of foreshadowing, the universe itself telling us not to count our chickens before they hatch. I can see this happening via a hard cut or a fade between the character mentioning Clover (Or Clover’s pin) and the aforementioned element.

The reason why I place such emphasis on these transitions is because without them, bringing up Clover or Clover’s mortality (or present lack thereof) only has a narrative function of quelling any hopes of him being revived, a proverbial twisting of the knife, if you will.

3. ”No hetero”-ing the Jailbirds ship/separating them as quickly as possible. A worrying point for many of us has been the possibility that with Clover absent and killed off in a way that seemingly showed that Clover and Qrow were too opposite each other to make it work, that Qrow and Robyn (Now off to prison together) could possibly become a thing. I think doing something to ensure audiences right off the bat that that’s not a concern anyone needs to have will do a little something to show that RT at least listened to the clear dislike the ship received from the get go (No offense intended if you do ship it, but it is what it is and both components of Jailbirds are shipped far more with other characters, and for good reason). Moreover, getting rid of the chance of Jailbirds off the bat might show that Qrow’s romantic future is still up in the air, possibly for a revived Clover to come back and be a part of. This can be done in a number of ways -- canonizing Springthyme, getting Robyn and Qrow out of jail and separated ASAP, canonizing Qrow’s romantic love for Clover, etc. The quicker this is done, the more I’d be willing to believe we could see Clover’s return.

4. Not just Marrow being shown contemplating deflecting from Ironwood. This one’s a little hard to explain, so follow me.

Prior to Clover’s death, Neath Oum made a Tweet that pointed out how odd it was that there were five Ace Ops in a world geared towards the number four (Four people on a team, Maidens, relics, kingdoms, etc). If this sentiment is to remain true with a Clover revival, something’s got to give to even out the inherently weird setup of the Ace Ops’ odd number (Pun intended). 

Look, if Clover’s coming back, then they’re not gonna make him a villain because it wouldn't make sense (Even with the garbage logic of 7X12). So that means that they have to make a big change regarding either just Clover or all of the other Ace Ops.

This can happen a number of ways. Clover can come back and take the place of the (possibly) deceased Summer Rose on STRQ (Best case scenario imho because it leaves the Ace Ops open to a redemption), another Ace Op can die (I REALLY don’t want it to be this), or Clover can back and deflects...but not alone, and that last point is the only one with real potential foreshadowing from the Ace Ops. 

Obviously, Marrow’s the one Ace Op everyone thinks will turn against Ironwood, especially with the reveal of Clover’s death to the Ace Ops now an inevitability. He’s going to have a reaction to that, and probably the biggest of his team’s. However, here’s the thing: If just Marrow deflects, that makes one member by himself (Or two if Clover comes back and joins with him) and a team of three. That absolutely doesn’t work with that sentiment of four being the central number of the show, either (Unless even more characters are thrown into the mix and...no...just no…). So if Marrow leaves the Ace Ops, I don’t think it will be alone.

Once again, there’s a couple of ways this could go. One of the remaining could be actually villainized to make space for Clover back on the main team (Harriet would be my most likely prediction because of that exchange she and Marrow had about killing team RWBY), or (ideally) all of them could deflect and create a hybrid of my first and third idea: Clover goes off to join Qrow, Raven, and Tai while Marrow, Elm, Harriet, and Vine stay as the Ace Ops (Maybe under a new team name).

The signs to look out for of this happening are bigger reactions from the non-Marrow Ace Ops than they’ve shown in the series up to this point (With the exception of 7X12), the Ace Ops mourning together and even growing closer during that mourning, or statements of doubt from the rest of the team regarding Ironwood’s plan or just Ironwood’s leadership as well.

5. Any marketing regarding Qrow mourning Clover. Why market a setup to something that doesn’t have a payoff? If Clover’s as unimportant as he was claimed to be, then showing Qrow mourn wouldn’t have a point, after all, right? So why do it? Perhaps because there’s something on its way. I’m just saying, if you see the official RWBY Twitter make a post of Qrow forlornly looking at Clover’s pin or putting on the pin, or a tweet that quotes the kind of “dead is dead” line I mentioned back in point 2, there might be more to it than the surface might have us believe. I’m not telling you to expect anything because as I said, my hope is not especially high right now either, but I will say that that could be a real sign.

6. Ace Ops merchandise with all five of them. A few months ago, a shirt of all five of the Ace Ops popped up on the RT shop. This set off an alarm bell or two in my head because why sell a shirt of a team that ended the previous volume with one member dead and the other four of them cast off to the side as basically secondary villains? I know people like the Ace Ops, but it was still a really weird merch choice. It was especially jarring because in that same wave of merch, the team ORNJ shirt was revealed, and that was effectively a spoiler since that team hadn’t officially formed yet (Just implied, but other teams like RNJR were given their team name on screen). However, I acknowledge that that could all just be a fluke. BUT, if we see more of this kind of thing during V8...you never know, right? 

7. Tyrian bringing up Clover a LOT. I can’t fully explain this one, but while Tyrian seemed to realize Clover’s importance to Qrow, him bragging about it a lot prior to or during his and Qrow’s inevitable next showdown would be a really solid potential mark in the Clover comes back column (If he’s not already back by the time this happens, of course).

So there you go -- a few signs that might be present if we really are going to get Clover back. Maybe getting all of these ideas together is just a means of working out my senses of hope and doubt as V8 grows closer -- it absolutely is (Especially after reading some of those commentary quotes -- YIKES). Maybe this will help someone who feels the same way I do cope as well. Whatever this was, I hope it makes things easier. 

[miafic]

MIA + RT Literary References

People have asked for these over the years, and I finally got a list together! 

First is everything alphabetically, and second is chapter-by-chapter. If you have any questions, please let me know :)

Italics denote that an excerpt of the book is included. 

Made In America:

Because of Winn-Dixie - Kate DiCamillo

The Catcher In the Rye - J. D. Salinger 

The City of Ember - Jeanne DuPrau

Ender’s Game - Orson Scott Card

Fifty Shades of Grey - E. L. James

The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

James and the Giant Peach - Roald Dahl

Legend - Marie Lu

The Maze Runner - James Dashner

The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka

Of Mice & Men - John Steinbeck

Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut

Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

---------

Rising Tide:

A-C

An Abundance of Katherines - John Green

Allegiant - Veronica Roth

Anne Sexton: A Biography - Diane Wood Middlebrook

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

The Art of Racing in the Rain - Garth Stein

Beautiful Darkness - Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoët

Because of Winn-Dixie - Kate DiCamillo

Blankets - Craig Thompson

Brain on Fire - Susannah Cahalan

Breakage - Mary Oliver

Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - Judi Barrett

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon

D-L

Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Jeff Kinney

Doctor Zhivago - Boris Pasternak

The Fault In Our Stars - John Green

Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn

Goodnight Moon - Margaret Wise Brown

Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

How I Go Into the Woods - Mary Oliver

Insurgent - Veronica Roth

King Lear - William Shakespeare

Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls - David Sedaris

The Library Book - Tom Chapin and Michael Mark

Life of Pi - Yann Martel

The Lightning Thief - Rick Riordan

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - C. S. Lewis

Live - Anne Sexton

Looking For Alaska - John Green

M-O

Macbeth - William Shakespeare

Making Rumors: The Inside Story of the Classic Fleetwood Mac Album - Ken Caillat and Steve Stiefel

Matilda - Roald Dahl

Moby-Dick - Herman Melville

A Monster Calls - Patrick Ness

My Heart and Other Black Holes - Jasmine Warga

Of Mice & Men - John Steinbeck

A Midsummer Night’s Dream - William Shakespeare

Monster - Walter Dean Myers

The Night Circus - Erin Morganstern

The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton

P-Z

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky

Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons - James Dean

Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes - James Dean

The Pillowcase - Annelyse Gelman

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket

The Summer Day - Mary Oliver

The Tale of Despereaux - Kate DiCamillo

This Is Just to Say - William Carlos Williams

The Uses of Sorrow - Mary Oliver

When Death Comes - Mary Oliver

Wild Geese - Mary Oliver

Will Grayson, Will Grayson - John Green

Wonder - R. J. Palacio

---------

Made In America

Chapter 1 - Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Chapters 2 and 3 - Of Mice & Men by John Steinbeck

Chapter 4 - Of Mice & Men, The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom

Chapters 5 and 6 - N/A

Chapter 7 - The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Chapter 8 and 9 - N/A

Chapter 10 - The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Chapters 11 and 12 - The Five People You Meet In Heaven, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 13 - The Maze Runner by James Dashner, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling

Chapter 14 - The Maze Runner, The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka (”God, no one else in this place knows who Gregor Samsa is.”)

Chapter 15 - N/A

Chapter 16 - The Maze Runner, The Catcher In the Rye by J. D. Salinger 

Chapter 17 - The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Chapter 18 - The Maze Runner (And I added an indirect reference to Shakespeare’s Macbeth. See if you can find it!)

Chapter 19 - Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, The Maze Runner, Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo

Chapter 20 - The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau

Chapter 21 - Twilight, Legend by Marie Lu, The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Chapter 22 - James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl, Harry Potter, Because of Winn-Dixie (“It’s a Littmus Lozenge.”)

---------

Rising Tide

Prologue - N/A

June - Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling, Of Mice & Men by John Steinbeck, King Lear by William Shakespeare

July - Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoët, Blankets by Craig Thompson, Brain on Fire by Susannah Cahalan, Harry Potter, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

August - Insurgent by Veronica Roth, Allegiant by Veronica Roth, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

September - The Fault In Our Stars, Looking For Alaska by John Green, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon, Macbeth by William Shakespeare, The Fault In Our Stars

October - A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, The Library Book by Tom Chapin and Michael Mark, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett, Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney

November I - Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, Breakage by Mary Oliver, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime

November II - Life of Pi by Yann Martel, The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

November III - Life of Pi, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, The Tale of Despereaux, A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare

December - Monster by Walter Dean Myers, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, Harry Potter, The Night Circus by Erin Morganstern, The Tale of Despereaux, Wonder by R. J. Palacio, Making Rumors: The Inside Story of the Classic Fleetwood Mac Album by Ken Caillat and Steve Stiefel, The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

January - Harry Potter, Anne Sexton: A Biography by Diane Wood Middlebrook, Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris, Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, The Art of Racing in the Rain, Live by Anne Sexton

February - The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

March I - Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, The Uses of Sorrow by Mary Oliver, Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo, My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

March II - My Heart and Other Black Holes, The Pillowcase by Annelyse Gelman, Harry Potter, This Is Just to Say by William Carlos Williams

March III - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis, Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak, A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness, The Summer Day by Mary Oliver, When Death Comes by Mary Oliver, Goodnight Moon

March IV - Aristotle and Dante Discover the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Because of Winn-Dixie

April - King Lear, The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton, The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

May - Harry Potter, Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons by James Dean, Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes by James Dean

June - Looking For Alaska, Of Mice & Men

Epilogue - How I Go Into the Woods by Mary Oliver, Matilda by Roald Dahl

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

i was tagged by @even-after-a-millennia! Thank you~! 

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 (ish) blogs you would like to know better. (spoiler, it won’t be 20 blogs lol)

name/nickname: Theo/Kee

gender: NB

star sign: Capricorn

height: 5′ 8? I think?

time: 11:21 pm

favorite bands: AJR, Fall Out Boy, june, MONOWHALES, Imagine Dragons,

favorite solo artists: CORPSE, Jon Bellion, Hobo Johnson, K.Flay, Watsky, grandson, Ashnikko, NateWantsToBattle

song stuck in my head: Trouble by Valerie Broussard (I surprisingly didn’t have one until I saw Maida’s answer 😆)

last movie: Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh. good question. According to my Netflix watch history it was I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore and that was 20 days ago already lmao

last show: Cursed (i think i’m only 2 episodes in so far)

when did i create this blog: mmmm I think it was 2018? It was during a week of downtime during busy season, so probably October

what do i post: Whump and a lot of my own rambling lol

last thing googled: Geoguessr

other blogs: @myotherwhumpblog @all4oneone4all plus two different youtuber blogs and my main, I don’t want to tag those blogs publicly but I’m willing to share them privately if anyone wants to know them <3 (the youtuber blogs are one for Corpse Husband and friends and the other is AH/RT)

do i get asks: Occasionally, it’s not often that I’ll just get random asks but if I reblog an ask game I get one or two (sometimes haha not always)

why i chose my url: Before I made this blog I was just lurking around the whump community from my main without following anyone and one night I came across @whump-my-dear-watson‘s blog and saw her header image and it was late at night and my brain went “OH! CLEVER!” and thought it’d make a cool url.

following: 121

followers: 446

average hours of sleep: ideally 10, but usually 6 or 7

lucky number: 3

instruments: i know how to play piano (kinda, haven’t played in a long ass time) but I like the sound of guitar

what am i wearing: socks, slippers, leggings under sweatpants, long sleeve shirt under t-shirt, a watch and a nb braided bracelet that I bought from someone in the whump community like two and a half years ago and it blows my mind that it’s lasted this long, but i fear it may give out soon :/

dream job: i don’t dream of labor lol I’d love to not worry about money and just do my hobbies without making any of it an actual job that might make me hate it eventually, any time I get a new hobby of crafting like making jewelry or chainmail my moms always like “ooh you could get a table at a craft fair or farmers market and sell it!” and I just. no. no. my biggest enjoyment of this is that there is no pressure for it to be perfect

dream trip: I’ve been to England/Scotland twice now but I want to go back and also see Ireland

favorite food: at this point just anything that won’t make me sick tbh

nationality: Canadian

favorite song: there are much to many for me to chose from rn, I can’t think

last book read: Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey (YES I”M STILL WORKING ON IT SHUSH)

top three fictional universes i'd like to live in: The Expanse, shits fucked but living/working in space is normal and that’d be cool. Star Wars if I can be a Force user. Heartstriker series if I can be a dragon lmao

Tagging: @set-phasers-to-whump @aceofwhump @whump-my-dear-watson (i’m already tagging you in this post so I will tag you for real to) @get-whumped (We’re even now, I forgot to tag you too ahaha!)  aaaaahhhhhhh anyone else who wants to do this, sorry it’s late and my brain is shutting down and I can’t think