Tumgik
#it'll just hurt more if you say yeah'
schroedingerscryptid · 2 months
Text
.
3 notes · View notes
ame-to-ame · 3 months
Text
there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
2 notes · View notes
noxtivagus · 2 years
Text
dfhaskdfjsdkf good day 😭
#🌙.vents#i don't remember sleeping this long i think i woke up 12 then 2 then#5. i wld've slept for longer if i didn't force myself to get up n i think the milk tea helped wake me a bit#i'm so..#the burden of my regrets r so suffocating. there are times i can't see anything else when i'm drowning in them.#if such trivial failures affect me this much then how tf will i survive in this cruel world?#i know i'll always find my way but i wonder the lengths of what i sacrifice. of what i deny and destroy within myself#& of how it'll affect me in the unforeseeable future. of what more loss and pain it'll bring in this world#compared to before i don't often put up a mask anymore. even if it's painful i choose to be authentic. i've improved in that sense#but it's not enough. perhaps i'm simply too harsh on myself; forgetting i am human and that i falter too. i'm not perfect n i shouldn't be.#even with my shortcomings there r ppl that stay. that say thank you. and. yeah. yeah.. that should be proof enough of real reciprocation#but.#i don't know am i really just so afraid of being forgotten? left behind? thinking of it n i used to write of that fear often back then#opening up to 'friends'. being told i was loved. that i would always have my place here#this is pathetic i grew up relying too much on success for my worth. i know i'm so much more but#i placed this on myself. this is the ocean i chose to drown myself in. so when i falter in the only thing i grew up being good that#bcs it hurts yk i used to draw. i painted a lot as a kid but what happened to that passion?#i used to write. a lot. but these past few years.. i don't know what's wrong with me. why it's so hard to do that again#piano. if i continued i would have.. i really had the potential to be. good. i mean i#i've never been a genius i've honestly always hated being called that. i know i've always been naturally smart but.#my hard-work carried me further. and i'm not.. smart enough or good enough to be a genius. never have been.#hollow compliments. before hs it was like everyone really just knew me for my brain. nothing of the way i wrote or my passions. just smarts#so now i'm just a shadow; a ghost of who i used to be. in that aspect at least. but. now w my other strengths they've been faltering too#i'm sorry i should've been better i should do more i know i can. but maybe i. i've always overestimated myself#i think when i was around 6-8 before grade school i can't really remember anymore but there was this competition i think#i would've gotten second if i didn't hesitate. if i didn't fucking hesitate. n i think that always stuck with me#bcs i was really quite the timid shy kid. even though i was older i wld be the one following apollo.. i'm sorry. they deserve more than me#bulbel is making me cry bye wtf
4 notes · View notes
astrxealis · 2 years
Text
venat makes me the saddest
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i love her soooo much and i love how it is almost purely familial/platonic#i think she deserves all the best for real. she deserves to be happy and free#flow always makes me so sad :((#tbh i said this b4 but enw already hits me a lot as is rn! and esp bcs i understand how. despair is like. yeah#but i have yet to lose a loved one and i'm terrified. absolutely terrified of that (<- kid who cried at the thought of a loved one leaving#even before i was 10 y/o) so i'd love to replay enw then bcs... it'll make it hurt more in a way that Heals. if that makes sense#ffxiv funny lil game and also really good game but also it is... not for the light of heart as well?#enw is so heavy i think? and the dark undertones throughout the whole game are... yeah. yeah.#but i truthfully think with all my my being that it is an experience everyone should try out. once. ffxiv means so much to me.#i think it is beautiful though how we all have that different thing we think everyone should get into!#it speaks of how unique each and every one of us is. and i love who i am in all of the beings in the world#because there is only ever me; and i forgot what i was going to say and also strayed off topic!#anyways i love final fantasy xiv so much and i think there's something really just there about people who have shared the same experiences#which is why it is really important to be with those similar to you! and for me that is especially final fantasy and drakenier#but that doesn't mean all the others around you are less. they are just as much; just in a different manner#<- me maturing from my bitter thoughts a few months ago! i'm still improving though <3#yeah this all was nice to write even if this was so off topic in the end#though it still is related tbh mhm? <3#i am not perfect and i never will be; chasing after something i will never achieve will only lead to further downfall#but it is important to do what we can. be there for ourself. be there for others. love and love and love.#these are all things i've learned through many aspects of life and ffxiv and my growing as a teen really affirmed it for me
3 notes · View notes
anantaru · 5 months
Text
cw. reader is a virgin, big cock haithie yaay, fem! reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"you need to tell me if it hurts," alhaitham lifts you towards him, his cock pressing between— and he says it so easily, taking all the fear off your mind as you twitch when you feel him repeatedly connecting with you.
"we don't f-fuck— have to, have to," he breathes and slides two more inches in, "you can just keep me warm like that, yeah?" as he kisses your neck, "that's good?" there's no hint of impatience, no hostility, only heats of flesh rubbing against flesh and his desire to make this feel good for his darling.
such a precious thing you were to him, you don't even realise how fucking mad you make him, don't you? compressing around him with wet, tight little squeezes of your cunt getting used to his length, forming around him, memorising his size, your mind getting used to this new feeling as your legs shake and twist around his muscular body.
it feels like tiny fireworks going off deep in your gut and conquering more of your veins, your limbs and bodily reactions the more he fucks into you— the more he makes love to you. for a moment, alhaitham strokes over your hip and kneads at your ass before settling on your stomach, pressing the heel of his palm down, rubbing your belly, going lower, rubbing your clit, pinching it, wanting to stimulate all of you, pull one finger through the little hood protecting your weeping pearl and grinding his digit into it as your pussy bucks up and sends shocks to your hole.
his erection was half way in and already had you weeping, begging for mercy but at the same time, more of his cock and his length bulging into your walls. "it'll be fine, j-just stay like this," the scribe filthily covers your mouth with his own, although more tongue as he kitty licks at your bottom lip,
"just keep me warm."
Tumblr media
©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
6K notes · View notes
suiana · 4 months
Text
✎ yandere! criminal who is helplessly in love with you, devoting his life to you and keeping your affections solely on him, and him only.
✎ yandere! criminal who can't help but flirt with you despite being so beaten up. i mean you're just so cute! why wouldn't he flirt?
✎ yandere! criminal who always reminds you that he has the upperhand no matter what his condition is like. he likes playing dirty.
✎ yandere! criminal who commits even more crimes after seeing you talk with someone who isn't him. doctor, you just never learn, do you?
"remember doctor, you may be smarter, but i always have the upperhand."
the criminal mutters, smirking as he leans into your touch. you merely click your tongue, grimacing at the his antics before going back to tending to his injuries.
you were his doctor, illegally caring for one of the most wanted criminals in the country simply because he was once your childhood friend. you knew it was wrong, you knew you should have rejected him the second he came stumbling to your apartment one day with a bloody wound.
but you didn't. you took him in and treated his injury, nursed him back to health and even offered your place as refuge if he ever needed medical attention again.
unfortunately, you failed to realise that the man was crazy in love with you, infatuated to such an extent that he would harm others without a second thought.
"please, you must understand, i've only ever wanted you to love me and not some other bastard. if you didn't talk to him i wouldn't have needed to hurt that guy."
he mutters, looking at you with such a fond expression that you would've mistaken for love. you really didn't know how to respond to his affections. after all, he was your childhood friend turned criminal. things would be even worse for you if you reciprocated him.
so you did the best thing possible and just ignored him whenever he went off on another tangent of his delusional rambles. you daren't speak up and reject him again. oh no, it happened once and you didn't want it to happen again.
"you look so sexy when you ignore me."
the criminal coos, placing his hand over yours as he brings it to his cheek. you uncomfortably maintain eye contact with him, grimacing as you allow him to mutter and talk about his love. it's okay... just tolerate it...
"oh baby, don't you get it? everything i do is for you."
yeah, you know. he tells you all the time. bout how all his crimes are dedicated for you or done in your name. of course he never says it to the public, he doesn't want you to get jailed! though, he can't help but fantasize about how romantic it would be if you two were both wanted criminals on the run together.
"why must you torment me like this? all i've ever wanted was for you to love me back."
he sighs, not noticing your pursed lips or obvious discomfort.
"never smile for anyone else. only i should have the honour of seeing it. all those other fools will never worship you the way you should be worshipped."
you can't help but twitch at his words. ugh, he always preaches about worshipping you and stuff. it's so... is he mentally insane too?
you get the love part, but the worshipping? you won't be surprised if he prays to you when he's on the brink of his death.
"no one gets me like you. that's why i love you so much."
your childhood friend mutters, finally letting go of your hand after pressing a tender kiss to the inside of your wrist. you allow your hand to limp by your side, standing like an npc as you continue to stare at him as he continues his dramatic talk.
you never knew he yapped so much before. when he was younger he was more introverted, more silent and just clingy. now he can't shut up. or maybe that's just around you.
you continue to listen to the male yapping, not really processing his words. hopefully it'll be over soon... but your hopes were crushed as you freeze in place, eyes widening in horror as he smiles widely at you, eyes fully deranged as he suddenly brings your hands to his cheeks, forcing your cold hands to cradle his cheeks.
"i mean, don't you love me too?"
shit, how do you answer this without meeting a bad fate?
3K notes · View notes
were--ralph · 9 months
Note
why exactly do you dislike generative art so much? i know its been misused by some folks, but like, why blame a tool because it gets used by shitty people? Why not just... blame the people who are shitty? I mean this in genuinely good faith, you seem like a pretty nice guy normally, but i guess it just makes me confused how... severe? your reactions are sometimes to it. There's a lot of nuance to conversation about it, and by folks a lot smarter than I (I suggest checking out the Are We Art Yet or "AWAY" group! They've got a lot on their page about the ethical use of Image generation software by individuals, and it really helped explain some things I was confused about). I know on my end, it made me think about why I personally was so reactive about Who was allowed to make art and How/Why. Again, all this in good faith, and I'm not asking you to like, Explain yourself or anything- If you just read this and decide to delete it instead of answering, all good! I just hope maybe you'll look into *why* some people advocate for generative software as strongly as they do, and listen to what they have to say about things -🦜
Tumblr media
if Ai genuinely generated its own content I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, however what Ai currently does is scrape other people's art, collect it, and then build something based off of others stolen works without crediting them. It's like. stealing other peoples art, mashing it together, then saying "this is mine i can not only profit of it but i can use it to cut costs in other industries.
this is more evident by people not "making" art but instead using prompts. Its like going to McDonalds and saying "Burger. Big, Juicy, etc, etc" then instead of a worker making the burger it uses an algorithm to build a burger based off of several restaurant's recepies.
example
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the left is AI art, the right is one of the artists (Lindong) who it pulled the art style from. it's literally mass producing someone's artstyle by taking their art then using an algorithm to rebuild it in any context. this is even more apparent when you see ai art also tries to recreate artists watermarks and generally blends them together making it unintelligible.
Aside from that theres a lot of other ethical problems with it including generating pretty awful content, including but not limited to cp. It also uses a lot of processing power and apparently water? I haven't caught up on the newer developements i've been depressed about it tbh
Then aside from those, studios are leaning towards Ai generation to replace having to pay people. I've seen professional voice actors complain on twitter that they haven't gotten as much work since ai voice generation started, artists are being cut down and replaced by ai art then having the remaining artists fix any errors in the ai art.
Even beyond those things are the potential for misinformation. Here's an experiment: Which of these two are ai generated?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ready?
These two are both entirely ai generated. I have no idea if they're real people, but in a few months you could ai generate a Biden sex scandal, you could generate politics in whatever situation you want, you can generate popular streamers nude, whatever. and worse yet is ai generated video is already being developed and it doesn't look bad.
I posted on this already but as of right now it only needs one clear frame of a body and it can generate motion. yeah there are issues but it's been like two years since ai development started being taken seriously and we've gotten to this point already. within another two years it'll be close to perfected. There was even tests done with tiktokers and it works. it just fucking works.
There is genuinely not one upside to ai art. at all. it's theft, it's harming peoples lives, its harming the environment, its cutting jobs back and hurting the economy, it's invading peoples privacy, its making pedophilia accessible, and more. it's a plague and there's no vaccine for it. And all because people don't want to take a year to learn anatomy.
5K notes · View notes
steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
Text
pop goes metal
for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'alternate universe'
rated t | 964 words | cw: language | tags: famous corroded coffin, pop star steve harrington, flirting, getting together
🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
"No fuckin' way are we working with him," Eddie argues with their manager. "You're always so worried about our image and then you go and have us doing a song with a fuckin' pop artist?"
The manager, Anthony, rolls his eyes. "It'll broaden your fanbase. You know who spends money on shit? Women. You know who likes Steve Harrington? Women."
"Does he even write his own shit?" Gareth asks.
"Does it matter?" Eddie turned to him with a glare. "Even if he writes it, it's not our style."
"Maybe we could at least hear what he's trying to work with us on?" Jeff, always the calming presence, asked towards Anthony.
"He sent over a sample before we sign any agreements."
Eddie sat down in the chair furthest from everyone else, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Now, this isn't an official recording. Just what he did on his phone on his tour bus with his acoustic guitar. He arranged the bass already for Frankie, too, but said he's open to whatever Gareth feels is right for the drums." Anthony pressed play on his phone and the room was filled with strumming and a surprisingly raspy voice singing what was clearly a chorus.
Eddie could pretend he hated it, and maybe the guys would agree with him and they'd never have to speak of this again.
He couldn't hide his reaction fast enough, though.
His jaw dropped as he listened to the lyrics, surprised to find that they weren't just about going to a club and dancing or being in love.
Steve's voice broke at the end before there was shuffling and the recording stopped.
Eddie felt everyone's eyes on him. He closed his mouth and looked down at the floor, tapping his fingers against his arm.
"It's not bad," he finally said. "Not sure why he needs us, though."
"Apparently, his brother is a huge fan of you and suggested he try to work with you."
"I think we should do it." Jeff said, a note of finality in his tone that Eddie knew he wouldn't try arguing with.
"Yeah, can't hurt." Frankie shrugged.
"If he's giving me creative freedom on the drums, how can I say no?" Gareth smirked.
"Guess we're working with the pop diva, then."
****
Steve Harrington was nothing like what they expected.
He showed up to their studio in sweats and glasses, holding a tablet and a bottle of Tylenol. They started to introduce themselves as he found a spot on the couch.
"I'm really glad you guys were willing to work with me," he said after he shook everyone's hand.
Eddie stared.
"My uh, my brother, Dustin, he's kinda why I wrote this song and I know it means a lot that you agreed to be on it," Steve continued. "So, thanks. Hopefully it doesn't ruin your vibes or anything."
Eddie felt every wall he built crumbling with every word Steve spoke. God dammit, this man just had to be sincere and hot and talented, didn't he?
"Nah, we're gonna sound great together." Eddie smiled at Steve's wide-eyed look. "You wanna show us the whole song?"
Steve nodded, pulling something up on his phone. Another recording, this one more professional and included an electric guitar.
"Robin was the stand in for the electric while I did bass."
"So you can play bass?" Frankie asked, leaning in.
"Yeah, but my preferred instrument is piano. I just don't do a lot of slow songs. Guitar is what gets the women interested, or so they tell me," Steve smiled awkwardly. "But feel free to change some things up. I'm totally open to suggestions."
But really, it was damn near perfect as it was. Frankie made one tweak during the bridge, but Steve ended up loving it more than the original and told him so with a grin.
"You're a fuckin' genius!" He exclaimed.
Gareth started messing around on the drums while Steve and Eddie worked on the first couple of lines.
"Something still doesn't feel right," Steve mentioned.
"Maybe we change the rhyming pattern?" Eddie suggested. "You've got ABAB. Might work better to do AABB. Some of these words can be moved around to make that work."
Steve stared at the notes app for a moment, then looked back up at Eddie, beaming smile making his eyes squint.
"I could kiss you!" He shouted. As soon as he realized what he said, he blushed, looking back down at the phone. "I mean, thanks. That's a great suggestion."
Eddie searched Steve's face, coming to the conclusion that there was probably a good reason why Steve didn't care about what women liked when it came to his music.
"I have a pretty strict rule about kissing people I work with," Eddie said slowly, quietly so they wouldn't be overheard.
"Yeah, no, that makes sense. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or-"
"But we won't be working with each other for long, right?" Eddie continued, letting his hand rest on Steve's thigh. God, he was muscular.
"Um. No I guess not."
"Rain check, then. Until we've finished our professional relationship." Eddie couldn't believe he was suggesting this. Showing interest in a pop star. What's next? Dating one? Marrying one?
"Are you saying you wanna kiss me, Munson?" Steve suddenly sounded more confident.
"I'm saying we've got work to do before I can get my hands on you." Eddie tapped his thigh before pulling away. "So let's get to it."
"Dude! I got it!" Gareth yelled, interrupting their moment.
"Be right there!" Steve yelled back, not looking away from Eddie. "Might break a record for fastest recording time ever just so I can kiss you," Steve added quietly to Eddie before standing and walking over to Gareth.
"Well, fuck." Eddie sighed, smiling to himself.
993 notes · View notes
fairyhaos · 5 months
Text
◈ the worst day of the week // choi seungcheol
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
seungcheol x gn!reader, 1.2k+ words
tags: requested by anon, fluff, established relationship, slight hurt/comfort, soooo domestic oof
warnings: pet names (baby), reader eats cereal at 2am
summary: everyone has days where they don't want to go to work. for you, it happens every monday, but fortunately, you have a lovely boyfriend who will do anything to make you smile, even on your worst days.
Tumblr media
“What are you doing?”
You flinch at the stern words that sound over your shoulder, and pause with your hand held midair. You can't turn around, frozen in place. 
“Um.” You swallow nervously. “Nothing?”
There's a tense silence, and you can hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears as you breathe slowly, too afraid to make any more noise. The person is still standing behind you, a looming presence, and maybe, if you hold still for long enough, then they might end up going away—
Seungcheol sighs, and walks around the kitchen table until he's facing you. “Y/N. What are you doing?”
Your shoulders slump as your boyfriend's face comes into view, his hair all sleep-mussed and his eyes droopy with drowsiness. But his gaze is focused on you, the disapproving turn of his lips clear even in the faint light provided by the lamp in the corner of the kitchen. 
Weakly, you attempt a smile. “I'm having a bowl of cereal?”
Seungcheol blinks. A long, slow, unimpressed blink. “You're having a bowl of cereal at two in the morning?”
“Yeah. It's like… the new ‘it’ thing. Everyone's doing it.”
He raises an eyebrow. You slowly shove another spoonful of cereal into your mouth.
“No, they're not,” Seungcheol says, and with a sigh, tries to reach over and pull the bowl away from you. “Y/N, baby—”
“Hey, no, don't take my cereal away,” you protest, grappling for the cereal and tugging it towards you before he can take it away. Seungcheol frowns disapprovingly, and you wilt a little. “It'll go all soggy if I don't have it now. I need to eat it.”
“You need to sleep,” he returns firmly, and then sighs again. “Y/N, it's two in the morning, and you have work later. Why are you awake, and eating cereal? You don't even like this kind of cereal.”
He's right, and you don't, because it's the tasteless variety that grates irritatingly against your gums but you just needed something to do, because it's a Monday tomorrow and it's literally the worst day of the week and you don't want Monday to come. 
Well. Technically, it's already Monday. But thinking about it like that makes you feel even more terrible, the little worms digging even uglier holes into your stomach, and you grimace. 
So that's why you're awake now, shoving tasteless, soggy cereal into your mouth because you don't want to go to bed. 
Seungcheol regards you with sad eyes, like he knows exactly what you're thinking.
Knowing him, you think sulkily, he probably really does.
He doesn’t say anything, though, and just continues watching you with those sad eyes as you slowly eat your cereal. His gaze makes you feel strangely guilty, heart twisting weirdly in your chest as you eat, feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
By the time you finish, your boyfriend still hasn’t said a word, but he does pinch your cheek fondly and take the bowl from you once you set down your spoon.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, and he's looking at you with those big, earnest eyes, the sincerity and warmth making his gaze meltingly soft even in the darkness of the room. When you hesitate to answer, his eyes seem to melt even more. “Do you want a hug?”
And oh, there's something about the way he says it that makes you begin to tear up, feeling so overwhelmingly comforted by his voice. 
“Oh, baby…”
Before you know it, he's gotten up from the table, walked over to you, pulled your chair back and enveloped you in a hug. 
He's wearing one of his oversized hoodies, and the material is soft under your fingers as you cling to his shoulders, burying yourself into the crook of his neck as he holds you securely. He just smells so much like him, all gentle and kind and willing to be there for you and all your worries and fears about the dreaded day ahead of you make you dissolve, kitten-weak, into his arms. 
“Shh, don't worry baby,” Seungcheol murmurs, still bent over you, hands rubbing secure circles into your back as you cry. “Don't worry. It's okay, shhh, don't cry, I'm here. I'm here for you.”
It only makes you cry harder, hearing the care in his voice, but Seungcheol doesn't seem to mind. He stays over you, hugging you, until your tears begin to subside, and then he helps you out of the uncomfortable kitchen chair, one hand around your waist and the other keeping your fingers interlaced with his own as he guides you out and up the stairs, back to your room again. 
He's gentle, the entire way, whispering words of comfort and pressing reassuring kisses to your temple as he helps you up the stairs. 
“There we go, that's it, I love you,” he says softly, when you make it up the final step. He squeezes your hand, once. “I love you.”
He's babying you, even more than his normal boyfriend-level of Doting™, but you can't even bring yourself to feel embarrassed about it, more focused on how nice it feels to be held by him, to be treated so delicately. And even when your nose is still running and your eyes feel all horribly swollen, Seungcheol still calls you beautiful, still says he loves you. 
“Here we are,” he says, smiling, as he tucks you into bed before moving round to the other side to climb in himself. “Rest, baby. You need to sleep now.”
You mumble something, incoherent even to yourself. Seungcheol just chuckles softly, pressing another kiss to your temple. 
“Rest,” he repeats, the word warm against your cheek as he kisses you again. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” you say, a little drowsy. A beat. “Still don't wanna go to work t'morrow.”
Seungcheol chuckles again. “I know, baby. But I'll be here when you come back home, you know? You won't be at work forever. I promise.”
“Mhm. Feels like forever, though.”
“Maybe.” Seungcheol is silent for a moment, thoughtful. “How about this. After work tomorrow, we'll go out on a date.”
You look over at him. “A date? On a Monday?”
“Just a small one,” Seungcheol says, and you can see his mildly embarrassed smile, even in the dimness of the room. “It'll give you something to look forward to, no?”
It certainly would. You can't help but smile, a blush creeping up on your cheeks because he just somehow makes you feel so loved even when he's smiling bashfully at 2am on the absolutely worst day of the entire week. 
“Yeah,” you say, and roll over to snuggle into him, rubbing at your swollen eyes until they feel a little better, relaxing into him with a contented sigh. “Thank you, Cheol.”
“Of course, baby,” Seungcheol says, and then presses another kiss to the top of your head, gathering you in his arms. 
You look up at him, and with your eyes, you trace the adoration on his face even in the darkness. You smile. 
“I love you.”
Seungcheol squeezes you against him, and kisses your forehead yet again, his lips as warm and soft as the gentlest of promises.
“I love you too.”
Tumblr media
fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @raevyng @isabellah29 @kikohao
1K notes · View notes
ozlices · 2 years
Note
how are you doin today sweetie?
mixed.
i winded up returning home last night bc being in the house that traumatic event happened in wasn't doing anything good for me. i feel the slightest tiny bit lighter, but otherwise still really empty, distressed, hurt, mournful, crying a lot, v dissociated, etc etc etc.
anxious also bc i have to go back to my parents' house next week for a doctor appointment. i have no idea how i'll react to going back there, and it's. a lot just to even think about.
im just trying my best to keep distracted for now, and trying to avoid isolating as best i can. all my close friends including my roommate know what happened, so. they'll help me out if i slip. it's just. really hard still and is gonna be for a long time. probably years, if any other major loss ive had is any indication, and this one is the majorest of them all, so,, hhhh.
ty for checking in though it's very sweet and i appreciate it
0 notes
nochepsicodelica · 13 days
Text
You know how sometimes you think of a scenario but just its exact moment and beyond?? There's no clear background on how things got to that point, unless you want to think up that background or it's just that single scene and whatever rolls from it? Well my little spoof is about being pregnant with Toji's baby, but as someone he loves and isn't embarrassed to partake in pda with and just overall someone who he can't wait to come home to every day. Like, he's ready to do this with you.
If you thought Toji was protective of you when it was just you two, then you had no idea of what was to come with having the smallest bean in your stomach, his little cub growing in your womb. You felt a sense of relief when months passed and—through his actions—he continued to remind you that he was in love with going through the process of having a baby with you, but sometimes you would get so caught up with the things that carrying a child entailed, that it would slip your mind.
He catches you crying a lot and even though he knows that it's perfectly normal for your emotions to be all over the place, he still worries. So you can imagine his reaction to watching you waddle around the house while rubbing your belly, in tears. You're breaking his heart with the sound of your little hiccups and sniffing and it won't stop, so he takes your hand and pulls you along to sit on the couch with him.
"You okay, mama?" He asks, rubbing your belly.
You give him a shaky smile and take a breath before responding, pausing the stream of tears for a very brief moment. "Yeah, it's just... my back hurts... and we're hungry... and I feel-" you can't get through the sentence before you start sobbing again.
"You feel what, baby?" He asks, wiping away the fresh stream of tears.
You shake your head, unable to talk through these intense emotions. All he can do is wait and listen until you calm down. He takes your hands in his and squeezes them, affectionately, showing you that he has all the patience in the world for you. Your eyes remain downcast, but eventually the waterfalls running down your cheeks cease.
"You feel what?" He asks, again.
"Fat and ugly, and I don't wanna go to the bathroom because of the mirror. It'll make me feel worse."
He hums, acknowledging your words, despite how severely untrue they are. "Sorry, baby, don't cry, but i'm gonna have to disagree with you. I've never seen someone as pretty as you. It's part of the reason for why you have a baby in your belly."
"It's unfair. You don't look any different. You're still so handsome and... and..."
"Hey," he says, distracting you before you break down again. "You want me to gain some weight?"
You nod, twinkling eyes meeting his warm gaze. You scoff, your thoughts on the suggestion immediately shifting. "You'd still be fine as fuck with a few extra pounds on you."
He laughs, rubbing your belly once more before standing up and sitting behind you for better access to your back. "What do you guys wanna eat?"
- EnD sCeNe 🥀 -
No, but fr this was just casually rolling around in my brain like a dog rolling around in mud.
648 notes · View notes
montimer · 2 months
Text
Deadpool x reader
Gn!reader,him gaining a crush on ya
Tumblr media
He tries not to believe it. Is there even a scenario where you would love him back?
He tries his best to push these feelings away. But he just can't help it, i mean why you gotta be so beautiful and kind to him and your voice, gosh- but the more he tries getting his mind off you the more it hurts. Especially if he goes to drink at a bar and gets so drunk he ends up with someone next to him in the morning.
So instead he lets his obsession grew.
Oh you're shopping? He just happens to be there too! Don't question it, he'll start yapping and drags you with himself.
He invites you over more than usual. You wanna watch a movie? Play games? If he wins he gets a kiss- whoa what,who said that?
He'll wanna have sleepovers. Throw pillow fights and no he won't sleep on the floor, make some space for him. Incase you don't tell him to sleep on the couch he'll totally not creepily stare at you as you sleep. Sure he'll fall asleep,,eventually.
He gives you tiny hints that he loves you. But of course you won't really catch them, after all he acts freaky with everyone.
And by flirting i mean, putting a hand around your shoulder. Telling you that you are gorgeous and calling you nicknames. Showing you a heart with his hands and so much more.
If you let him he would love to hug you every now and then. Tho his hugs get longer and longer the more you let him closer to you.
Speaking of which, he'll let you see his face and know more about his past only after a longer time.
But even then, when he took off his mask and expected a disgusted look or a mean comment, you just smiled at him and reassured that he is beautiful inside and out. Can you be any more charming? He just fall head over heals all over again.
You laugh at his jokes and think hes cool? He is wordless.
He will try to kiss you through his mask and will do it if you don't push him away. "Smooch me!"
Sometimes he stares at you with out noticing.
His room is full of stuff that you gifted to him and photos of you (where he got it? Oh don't worry about it..)
And if you happen to be a hero/etc, he will have a plush and other merch of you around.
He'll even give you a mini version of himself. To keep you safe he says.
He loves to be around you and is overly affectionate.
He squishez his eyes into a smile upon seeing you. He'll wave at you and everything.
He'll draw you silly pictures (mostly the two of you holding hands and being lovey-dovey)
He also leaves you flowers.
If you say nice things to him it'll blow his mind. By nice i mean stuff like "You are cute!" Or "You're the best!". Yeah you really think so? His heart feels like its beating stronger.
He speaks before thinking rather often. He lets his stranger thoughts out. Such thoughts like "You're so hot". He stares wide eyed at you after. Then comes the awkward laugh, just laugh with him please.
Anyways get used to it cuz he'll make your life a living hell, or maybe heaven?
He would ask you to move into an apartment with him, and he won't stop asking that question. Wouldn't it be less lonely and more fun to have a roommate?
He just can't come up with a way to confess..maybe the job will do it itself? No Yes,yes it will Wade don't worry.
631 notes · View notes
erwinsvow · 6 months
Note
omgg what about kook trio where rafe and reader are sleeping and rafe is laying on her chests and top and kalce walk in and keep making fun of him all dayy. i need<3333
Tumblr media
truthfully, rafe hadn't been feeling well all day. he was hungover from last night, because you seemingly become a drain for alcohol, drinking endless amounts and only getting drunker and drunker. when you smile up at him and offer him another shot, he finds it hard to refuse.
"c'mon, rafe, stop being such a pussy and just take it with me. ugh," you yell over the music, shoving the drink into his hand. it's harder still to refuse after that.
so he wakes up hungover. you're up beside him, having slept in his bed at tannyhill like you always do after they have a party. the light's pouring into his bedroom, and you look like an angel, dressed in one of his old frat shirts.
"rise and shine," you chirp, stretching your arms and showing him a glimpse of pink panties that are making his head pound even more. "rafe? get up."
"shut up," he mumbles, turning around to look away from you before his dick gets hard. "get the curtains. m'head hurts."
"aww," you purr, getting closer to rafe, resting your head back on the pillow. you stroke rafe's hair for a second, hand hovering with hesitation before going back to do it again. it feels too intimate between friends, even friends like you and rafe.
he groans against his pillow, and you let your hand fall back.
"come on rafe.. we'll go get greasy bacon and pancakes. it'll fix you right up. good as gold, right?" you say, mimicking the phrase he always uses.
with some convincing, you get rafe up and at the dinner. you text top and kelce to come too, but you don't know where they went off to—you really never keep track, always busy with rafe the morning after.
when you make it back to tannyhill after breakfast—or rather lunch—rafe is still complaining about his headache.
"you need water and-"
"what i need is for you to stop yappin'. woke me up for this shit. those eggs sucked."
"i thought they were fine. you're just cranky, rafe you need a nap and an advil-"
"m'not napping, not a child. jus' let me go lay down."
"whatever you say," you chirp back. "you big baby."
"shut your mouth before i shut it for you." he goes and lays down on the couch, while you get a cup of water for him and sit by rafe's head. you run your fingers through his hair, not as worried this time.
"mm. keep doin' that." he mumbles back, eyes shutting. you hold back a laugh, curling up to get more comfortable, bringing rafe's head into your lap.
you don't know when you fell asleep—just remember stretching your legs and getting pulled into rafe's warm grip. you're not even hungover, but it was hard to pull away when rafe had an arm across your stomach and the other inside your shirt—his shirt—with a hand on your back. rafe's head is now on your chest, nestled comfortably on your boobs. he's snoring, which means he's really tired.
you wake up to the sound of snickering. your eyes open for a second to take in kelce and top laughing, phone out and taking a picture of you and rafe.
"guys," you whisper, not wanting to wake up rafe. "don't laugh. he was hungover."
"so if i get hungover, i can feel you up too?"
"shut up," rafe mumbles against your chest. "fuck off. let us sleep." they shuffle away, still laughing.
"you know they're never gonna let this go, right?"
"don't care. you shut up too. m'sleeping. this is nice." you smile.
"yeah. it is."
Tumblr media
995 notes · View notes
mostlymarvelsstuff · 2 months
Text
Good Luck Babe
Summary: Natasha is conflicted on her sexuality due to the way shes been raised. This causes her to act rather harmfully as she pulls both Y/n and Steve along for the ride. (No powers AU)
Authors note: In case it wasn't obvious this fic was very much inspired by "Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan
Warnings: smut(fingering, hickies, scissoring), angst(internalized homophobia, brief Nat x Steve), hurt/comfort, happy ending
Word count: 5748
Natasha Masterlist Marvel Masterlist
Tumblr media
     Natasha shivers as the air in the room starts to feel cold on her exposed body. Noticing her discomfort you quickly reach over and pull the blanket over you both. Her eyes drift up to your face and you smile softly at her while admiring the different green hues and flecks of gold that make up her eyes
   “Y/n….” She whispers, not wanting to disturb such a serene moment 
   “Yeah baby?”
   Her heart almost always melts whenever you call her that, though she may never admit that to herself,  “Kiss me?”
   You had to chuckle a bit. This wasn't your first time in a situation like this with her, plus the two of you had just spent hours entangled in each other while having sex. And yet here she was acting almost shy. You lean forward and connect your lips to hers. The kiss is soft and sweet, and if you didn't know better you'd say it was filled with love. But you do know better. And you also know, she'll be gone by morning.
   You both break apart and she scoots impossibly closer, resting her face against your chest as her arm drapes over your midsection, “Goodnight Tasha”
   “Goodnight Y/n”
   The next morning when you wake up the opposite side of the bed is empty, and the lack of presence from the redhead stings despite this being exactly what you expected. The bed always feels colder without her, and though your brain tells you it'll never happen, a part of your heart longs for a day when you wake up to her greeting you a good morning.
   Eventually you had dragged yourself out of bed and gone about your morning as you normally would. Breakfast, shower, drive to work. Once at work your day was rather dull, full of paperwork, phone calls and meetings. As per usual. And also as usual your best friend texts you just as your lunch break begins, once again giving no indication that last night's events had transpired
   Natty: Hey, you coming to the club later?
   Y/n: Yeah, I’ll be there
   Natty: Great :) See you later then
   Y/n: See you tonight  
   You’d made arrangements days ago to meet up with your friends at a nearby nightclub after your shift today, and honestly you were dredging doing so now. Natahsa was going to be there, which was doable. You’ve been pretending to still be nothing more to her than her best friend for the past month now so it wasn’t a strain, just disappointing. What you were actually concerned about was Steve. 
   He was sure to be there, which normally meant little to you, but lately he and Nat have been getting rather close. Close enough that there's talk of them potentially getting together soon. And that thought made your heart sink. You figured what you had with Nat was fleeting, she was clearly scared to embrace the fact that she was into women, but that didn’t mean you were ready to let her go. It didn’t mean you didn’t actually have feelings for her and were ready to watch her just move on. Especially with Steve of all people. But what could you do?
   Hours later you find yourself at one of the club's tables with Sam, Maria and Steve waiting for the others to arrive. Thankfully the blond doesn’t talk to you much, not that you struggle to be cordial, you just really didn’t want to engage with him. Which you suppose was a bit unfair considering he didn’t know what you and Nat had going on, but despite this you all manage to hold a conversation until Bucky and Sharon show up. With all but one now in attendance you all decide to go ahead and order your drinks, but before you can tell the bartender what Nat would want Steve does. You try not to frown, afterall this didn’t mean anything, everyone in the group knew everyone's orders. But it still puts a bad taste on your tongue.
   Finally the redhead shows up, and she offers you a bright smile as she approaches the group. You smile back but it's all for show really, because you know she’ll take the empty seat across from you next to Steve instead of the one next to you. Your heart sinks when she proves you right and you can’t help but let your smile drop. You thought you'd be used to this by now. She always goes back to acting as if she's not attracted to you. Acting like Steve is who she wants to be with when they haven't even entered a relationship and she's entering your bed most nights. 
   But you aren't used to it. It still stings and makes you jealous. But you kept your mouth shut. Better to have her one way then never at all. That's what you'd first told yourself. But now, you've fallen deeper for her, and watching her try to fall for someone else while still holding you, hurts. And you know that you have to say something soon or you'll only be hurt worse.
   As if trying to prove your inner monologue correct, Natasha leans closer to Steve and sets her hand on his forearm. Her thumb starts to rub soothing circles on his bare skin, just like she normally does with you when the two of you are alone, and he turns to offer her a smile before returning to his conversation with Sam. The interaction has you downing half your drink in one go and if you hadn’t been so quick to leave the table and excuse yourself to the bathroom you’d have noticed the look of concern that crossed the redheads face
   You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror lost in a whirlwind of thoughts for a few minutes until the cause of said whirlwind opens the door. You attempt to straighten yourself out so you can ignore her arrival and leave but you should have known she wouldn’t let this be easy.
   “Are you alright?” she asks, placing her arm on your bicep to stop you from passing by
   Part of you feels cared for by the concern in her tone, but the other part of you remembers that she is the reason you feel this way, “Yeah, I’m good.”
   Her eyes soften as she looks you over, “You're not though. Something is bothering you.”
   You glance at the floor to avoid her gaze but she doesn’t like this very much and cups your face to bring your gaze back to her
   “You can talk to me, you know?”
   “I know” you admit, briefly contemplating if you really wanted to have this conversation in a dirty club bathroom, but you really don’t. You’d rather not have to have it at all truly, “Lets go rejoin the others before they get suspicious”
   She follows you back out and you both sit back down at the table. More drinks are ordered and the night goes on, and you do your absolute best to avoid how close Nats mouth gets to Steve's ear when she tells him things or how Steve's arm curls around her waist to keep her close to him. But while you're doing your best to ignore them Nat keeps her eye on you. She won't lie, she knows what she's doing is taking a toll on both herself and especially you, and she knows she'd be hurting if the roles were reversed. But she's terrified to allow that part of herself to exist, knowing the ramifications.
   Steve was the stereotypical “perfect” guy, and she knew being with him would make her parents happy and proud. They would love him. He was the safe choice, he was acceptable, he is who she's supposed to want. But that's the thing, she doesn’t really want him. She wants you, but every fiber of her being tells her that it's wrong. That she's not supposed to want you that way, that she shouldn’t be engaging in the sexual activity that she is with you, that her parents won't accept her. But each moment she spent with you just felt so right. She felt so hopelessly stuck on what to do
    A few days pass before you hear from Natasha again, and to no surprise you find yourself right back in the same position you always do, naked and in your bed. She's laying below you with her hands wrapped around your neck and her legs intertwined with yours as the two of you engage in a heavy and heated makeout session
  The need for air has the two of you breaking apart and you slowly make your way down her neck to her chest, kissing as you go. She lets out a few moans and whimpers each time you hit some of her more sensitive places, and she can tell by this that you're trying your best to work her up slowly. Problem is she can’t do slow, not tonight. Even though she desperately wants to
   “Y/n…” she moans as you near her hips
   “What is it baby?”
   “We can’t take too long” she admits in a hushed tone, “My date with Steves in a few hours”
   Your movements stop as you take in her words, and it honestly feels like your roof is crashing down over your head. How could she think coming here before going out on a date with him was the right move? And how could she think that you’d be okay with her just bringing that up while you're in this vulnerable position with her?
   “Natasha, I can’t keep doing this”
   This takes her by surprise and the use of her full name has anxiety building inside of her. She sits up on her elbows to look at you, “What do you mean?”
   You scoff, “You know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm tired of not being able to have you fully and always playing second to him. I'm tired of having your possessiveness but not your heart.”
   Oh if only you knew the truth, if only she could muster the courage to tell you. Instead all she can do is fumble her words, “Y/n, I…”
   “Save it.” You hiss, standing up. She feels more vulnerable than she ever has with you and moves her arms to cover herself. You feel guilty for this, but you can't hurt yourself anymore, “Get your clothes back on Natasha. I wouldn't want you to be late for your date. We’re done anyway”
“Are …are you saying we can't see each other anymore?” she asks, tears already starting to slide down her cheeks. She had expected this, had known it had been building for a while now and had a feeling that news would be the final straw. But she couldn’t hide this from you, nor would she ever lie to you about it 
   “Yes Natasha, that's exactly what I'm saying. I can't keep doing this back and forth between him and me. I need certainty and commitment, and I know I'll never get that from you” you admit, trying to blink away the tears in your eyes, “Whatever this was, is done. You can’t have both of us, and it's clear you've chosen him.”
   Her lip quivers at your harsh but not unfair words, and her heart aches, “I- ”
   “Just go Natasha!” you snap
   She quickly gets off your bed, picks up her clothes from your floor and dresses herself as she makes her way down the hall. Tears blur her vision as she continues towards your door, and her hand trembles when she reaches for the knob. She closes it behind her and rushes to her car before her emotions get the better of her.
   As soon as you hear your front door shut you let yourself slump down on your bed with a quiet sob. Part of you had hoped she’d fight what you were saying, admit to be scared and she’d stay looking for your comfort and support. But the other part of you had tried to be prepared for this outcome since day one. Tried being the key word, because when you love someone, you can only be so prepared to say goodbye when you're not the one chosen.
   Out in her car the redhead has no qualms about breaking down, and she does so right there in front of your house. A sob escapes her as the reality of the situation hits her. This isn’t what she wanted, but she knows it's what she caused by everything she put into motion with Steve. And honestly that makes the pain even worse, she's lost you and it's all because she's a coward.
   She somehow manages to make it back to her house despite crying almost uncontrollably the entire drive. Once inside she finds herself at a crossroads. Does she postpone her date with Steve, crawl into bed and mourn what could have been with you? Or does she find her resolve and force herself to see this through and go on pretending that it's Steve she wants?
   An hour later Steves at her door, and she opens it to greet him. He's in a nice pair of jeans and a button up shirt with a collar. His hair is neatly combed and he's sporting a huge smile. His eyes widen when he takes in her sundress, and her heart aches as she remembers that you’d had nearly the same reaction
  “Wow Nat, you look great” he admits before pulling out a small bouquet, “I got you these”
   She puts on her best smile and takes the flowers from him, “Thank you Steve, let me put them in some water and then we can go. Please come in”
   The blond stands in her living room, watching her with a fondness as she moves about the kitchen to find a vase and fill it with water. She sets it on the kitchen table before making her way back over to the man and he offers her his arm
   “Shall we go?” he asks, and she can only nod due to the lump in her throat
    He takes her to a quaint little restaurant that's a family run establishment, and they find themselves in a booth towards the back. Instead of sitting across from her he slides in beside her and though he seems to like this arrangement it makes her stomach drop. She wasn’t uncomfortable necessarily, but she certainly wasn’t at ease either. She didn’t want him to be so close, not when it was your presence she was craving.
   The two order and as they await their meal a casual conversation is had. Natasha thinks she's handling herself quite well in the face of everything until his arm moves to rest on the back of the cushion behind her shoulders. Instead of her usual nonchalance to his touch she finds herself starting to spiral. All she can think about is your touch, how your arms feel around her when you hold her. How safe and cared for it makes her feel. And instead she's here with Steve. She shouldn’t be but she is, and it takes almost everything in her not to tear up at the thought of you.
   Thankfully the food soon arrives and so his arm moves, allowing her to feel a bit calmer again. They carry on with sporadic conversation as they eat and while it's clear he's truly enjoying himself here with her, her mind drifts away back to you every chance she gets. How were you handling this? Were you alright? What on earth was she doing? If he notices her lack of attention or interest he doesn’t say anything, and honestly she's very grateful for that. 
   After they finish their meal he walks her back to his car and begins to drive her home. It wasn’t bad until his hand found purchase on her thigh, but she does her best to ignore the burning feeling of guilt and longing in her heart. But when his thumb starts to caress her skin as you usually did she finds herself becoming quite nauseous. Thankfully they finally pull up in front of her house and she tries not to seem too eager at the prospect as she exits his car.
   However Steve is a gentleman, and he insists on walking her to her front door. And though she should have expected his next move due to everything he's hinted at this evening, her mind was obviously a bit jumbled. So when he leans in for a kiss it takes her a moment to even process that his lips are on hers. Once she realizes however she finds herself panicking and unable to carry on this charade any longer. This was wrong. All wrong. 
   She brings her hands up to his chest and pushes him away, causing him to look at her in confusion. Tears start to build in her eyes as she rushes to explain herself, “I’m sorry Steve, I’m so sorry. I can’t do this, this was a mistake”
   He nods solemnly, “There's someone else, isn’t there?”
   “Yes, there is. And I shouldn’t be here, shouldn't have agreed to this. I should be with her” she admits, and it feels like a weights been lifted off her shoulders, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to lead you on or hurt you, and I never wanted to hurt her either”
   “Nat, breathe. Relax and take a deep breath” she does as told and he continues, “Its okay, I’m not mad. A bit disappointed this didn’t go as planned, sure. But it sounds like you were just trying to figure yourself out, and I can’t be upset at you for that”
   She lets out a deep breath and looks at him with gratitude, “Thank you, I just didn’t know what to do and now I’ve ruined everything”
   “Hey, you messed up, but nothing is ruined” he says, giving her a soft smile, 
   She scoffs “She probably hates me. Probably wouldn’t even trust me after this.”
   “Nat, this girl clearly has your heart. If you don’t at least try, you’ll forever live with the what ifs.”
   She looks at him and knows he's right. Plus she owes it to not only herself but to you to finally be honest and sincere about everything, “Thank you Steve, for everything. I've got to go”
   He nods and watches her rush off to her car and stands there still as she pulls out of her driveway. Her tires squeal as she turns and he can’t help but think how lucky this mystery girl was to have Natashas affections, especially when they appeared to run as deeply as they did.
   You're startled by a loud and frantic knocking at your front door and cautiously make your way to open it. To say you're surprised to see the redhead there would be an understatement and you certainly weren’t prepared for the words that rapidly spill out of her mouth either
   “Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. And I understand completely if you still send me away after this, but you deserve to actually hear it. I've been an idiot and a coward, and I haven’t been treating you right at all. I made such a mess of everything all because of my fears and I selfishly dragged you and poor Steve into my mess. But please know I’ve never wanted Steve, not ever. I’ve just been too afraid to admit to both myself and anyone else what I like and who I truly want.” 
   You carefully cup her face in your hands, and she looks at you expectantly through her watery eyes, “And who do you want, Tasha?”
   “You, I want you.” she finally admits, sending both of your hearts racing, “All I could think about on that stupid date was you. And god Y/n, I never wanted to hurt you, leaving here earlier was such a mistake- ”
   Your lips crash into hers, effectively cutting off her rambling, and she practically melts against you. Her arms wrap tightly around your waist as if to show you how she never intends to let you go again, and your thumbs brush away the stray tears from her cheeks as you deepen the kiss. And her hold on you never falters even when you pull away for air
   “You came back” you whisper in disbelief, making her heart ache
   “There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I’m just so sorry it took me so long to find my courage, detka(baby). Ya tebya lyublyu”
   Now it's your turn to shed a few tears, “I’m pretty sure I know what that means, but I’d like confirmation”
   She smiles at you, “I love you”
   “I love you too” you reply, your voice a bit strained from choking back your emotions. Afterall, you never thought you’d hear her say it, let alone have the chance to say it back, “I thought I’d lost you”
   Her hold on your waist tightens, “I’m so sorry. I’m never going anywhere. Not ever again. I’m yours, if you’ll still have me.”
   You really never thought she’d choose to be here with you over the life expected of her. But she did, she's here and finally ready to be with you fully, “Of course I’ll still have you, Tasha.”
   She smiles an ear to ear smile and lets out a carefree giggle before launching herself into your arms, “I won’t ever let you down again, I promise”
   “Come on, let's head inside” you suggest, kissing the top of her head before gently tugging her towards the house
   She eagerly follows and you barely manage to get the door shut and locked before she's wrapping her arms around you once more. Your arms instinctively wrap around her waist as she nuzzles her face against your neck, and you can’t help but smile when she lets out a soft giggle. You can tell how happy she is now that she's embracing her true self with you, and it honestly has you elated. Not just because she chose to be with you either, while that does add to it, but because she's no longer letting anyone else's thoughts, opinions, or judgements dictate how she lives or loves.
   After a few more moments she leans back out of your embrace and begins to pull you out of the entryway and further into the house. She doesn’t keep her hands off you for long though, because as soon as you enter the living room she's guiding you over to the couch. You plop down on one of the cushions and before you can even question what she's up to she's straddling your lap. Your hands find purchase on her hips while hers rest on your shoulders. She looks down at you with a smile before leaning in for another kiss. It starts off as a series of soft and loving kisses, but the longer you two sit there the more it evolves into a full blown make out session.
   Before long her hands are tangling in your hair and your grip on her waist moves up under her shirt to caress the skin by her waistline. She lets out a soft moan at the touch but pulls back away from you a bit. At first the rapid movement of her chest leads you to believe that she's only catching her breath but that's not the case
   “Are you sure?” she asks with a vulnerability you've not yet seen shining in her eyes
   “Tasha, this isn’t anything new for us” you point out with a smile
   “But it is,” she insists, “Every other time both of us were unsure of the other's feelings and trying to ignore our own. And don’t get me wrong the sex was good, like really good, but it was just hooking up. This time I want something….”
   “Real” you finish for her, looking at her knowingly, “You want something as intimate as you feel”
   “Yes. And I definitely don’t want it on the living room sofa”
   You chuckle, “I agree, come on”
   She quickly removes herself from your lap and waits for you to stand before she begins to make her way back the hall to your room, and you find it quite adorable how her smile never fades from her face. Once in your room she approaches you and her hands find the familiar place on your hips once more. She kisses you again, softly yet hungrily before tugging on the bottom of your shirt
   “Can I?” You nod and lift your arms to help her get you out of your shirt, and your bra follows soon after it, “God, you're so beautiful detka(baby). I haven’t told you that enough, but I won’t go a single day without reminding of it now”
   Your cheeks flush at her words and you manage to get out a hushed, “Thank you Tasha”
   She smiles and pecks your lips again before her hands find the waistline of your jeans and she looks at you expectantly. You nod your permission once more and soon your pants and underwear are on the floor too. 
   “Your turn” you tell her, reaching for her shirt, “If thats ok?”
   She eagerly nods, “Yes. Please”
   Her clothes get taken off even faster than yours had it seems, and your eyes rake over her bare body for a few moments before returning to hold her gaze. The way you look at her makes her bite her bottom lip and you let out a sigh
   “You're absolutely gorgeous, baby”
   It's her turn to flush then, and she finds herself unable to wait any longer. She surges forward, wraps her arms around you and kisses you passionately before moving you closer to the bed, “Lay down for me, please”
   You do as you're told and once she's sure you're in the position you want to be in she straddles you again. It's different this time though, because now you can feel her bare heat against your thigh, and she's already wet.
   Your hands move to her hips ready to help her start moving against you like you normally would, but she stops you, “Tasha?”
   “Shh detka(baby)” she coos, leaning over you slightly, “Just let me take care of you. Let me show you how special you are, how much you mean to me”
   “Okay” you agree in a mere whisper, your mouth too dry to be any louder currently
   Natasha smiles down at you while placing her hands on your stomach, and she traces shapes against the soft skin there before letting her hands roam across the rest of your body. Her touch is slow and gentle, but when she reaches your breasts you're unable to hold back a whimper of pleasure
   “That's it, let me hear you” she coaxes as her hands continue to palm your breasts, which causes more sounds of pleasure to leave you as her lips once again meet yours
   As her fingers tweak your nipples she ends up swallowing the next moan you make, which has her subconsciously grinding down on your thigh a few times, which only makes you moan again, a bit louder this time. She eventually pulls back from you only to start kissing down your jawline and to your chest, and your so distracted by the way her mouth feels that you hadn’t even notice her one hand had moved to brace herself on the bed while the other had moved to your pussy until her fingers are swiping through your folds
   “Don’t worry” she mumbles against your chest as she glances up at you, “Gonna take such good care of you”
   Your mouth parts with yet another moan as two of her fingers slip inside you, and she hums at the way your walls squeeze her. She starts to curl them and lets her palm brush against your clit as she continues to kiss your chest, slowly moving towards your breasts. She kisses one of your plump mounds a few times before wrapping her lips around your nipple, and then she finally begins to thrust her fingers
   “Oh god” you mumble, back arching slightly at the sudden spike of pleasure. She merely hums in acknowledgment as she continues her movements, and it isn't long until the sounds of your moans and arousal fill the room 
   She lets go of your nipple with a pop and quickly kisses her way back up your chest and jawline, “You're so wet detka(baby)”
   “Mhm” you answer, unable to currently form words, which proves to only spur her on. Her thrusts pick up speed then, causing you to cry out, “Ah! Tasha! I’m so close”
   Suddenly her lips brush against the shell of your ear, “Konchi dlya menya, moya lyubov'(cum for me, my love)”
   You aren’t sure what she's said, but it doesn't seem to matter, because it's what finally pushes you over the edge. You cum hard but she continues her movements, albeit more gently now, to help you come back down from your high. But as soon as you let out a whimper she knows you're too sensitive to continue. She lays herself further on top of you, calming you with her weight, then pulls her fingers out of you. She brings them up to her own mouth to clean them, and if you were more cognisant you'd have made a comment on it
   You spend the next minute or two catching your breath before you realize just how wet your thigh is, and you find your energy coming back as you get excited by the prospect of taking care of her now.
   You gently nudge her waist with your hand, “Roll onto the other side of the bed for me baby”
   She eagerly does as she's told and sits herself against the headboard, but you have to hold back a moan at the sight of her slick covered thighs as she gets herself comfortable. She bites her lower lip as you straddle her, and her hands instinctively grab your waist and pull you closer until your nose is brushing against hers
   “Hey” she breathes out, her eyes looking straight into yours
   “Hi” you reply, smiling stupidly before kissing her fiercely
   The two of you sit there making out for who knows how long until Natasha can ignore her aching needs no longer. She whines into your mouth and bucks her hips hoping you’ll get the idea. And you do, but she's a bit confused when you move back off her lap
   “Lift this leg for me” you pant, still a bit breathless.She does as you ask, but was in no way prepared for the way your warm and soaked pussy would feel right up against hers
   “Bozhe moy(oh my god” she moans, letting her head fall back against the headboard
   “Well, that sounded like somebody likes this”  you tease as you roll your hips, causing you both to let out moans 
   As your hips slowly keep moving you bring your hands up to her chest, and you gently squeeze her breasts a few times before you let your thumbs brush over her sensitive nipples. She brings her arms to hold you once more which in turn helps you in your movements
   “Oh! Feels so good!”
   You reply with a moan of your own as you lean into her, letting your forehead rest against her shoulder for a moment as you still toy with her tits. You can feel how rapidly her heart beats under your fingertips, and pride fills you knowing that it belongs to you as much as yours belongs to her. Of that you could be certain 
   You're suddenly overcome by the need to mark her flesh by her neck, and though you have had this urge before you had never acted on it due to all the complications. But it felt appropriate to act on it now. You bring your mouth to her neck and begin to kiss the skin there, which she doesn’t think twice about until she feels your mouth beginning to suck against her pulsepoint
   “Y/n” she whimpers out as her hold on your waist tightens
   You're sure there will be marks there tomorrow based on how you can feel her nail dig in but you hardly care. All you want is to make her feel as good and loved as she just had you feeling, and if that came with visible marks to either of you, then so be it. Your mouth moves to suck another, and then another and it has the redhead nearly falling to pieces 
   “I’m gonna cum. Please cum with me”
   You nod against her and she meets your next thrust with one of her own, sending you both headfirst into your orgasms. The low moan she lets out as her cum gushes against your own cum covers cunt is a sound you've not heard before, but your damn well determined to hear it again now
   The movement of her hands from your waist to the back of your neck has you focusing on her once more and you nearly melt when you see the love sick look on her face. You bring one of your hands up to cup her cheek and she leans into your touch with ease
   “I love you Natasha”
   She can’t help the tears that build in her eyes once more, “I love you too”
   The two of you bask in each other's presence just a bit longer before going to get cleaned up. Not wanting to be apart from each other you both agree to a shared shower in which you both help clean the other and wash their hair. Once your out and dried off you find yourself and Nat some pajamas and as soon as your both dressed she's dragging you back over to the bed for cuddles
   You both stay there the rest of the evening and into the night, sharing conversations as the tv plays quietly in the background. But eventually she drifts off to sleep in your arms so you just hold her a while longer before tucking you both into bed.
   When you wake up the next morning you find her still nestled beside you with her arms now wrapped around your midsection. And you smile at the fact that your bed is warm. Just as it should be.
Tumblr media
Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @mmmmokdok @nataliasknife @natashasilverfox @when-wolves-howl @danveration @naomi-m3ndez @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @readings-stuff @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @xchaiix @iaminluvwithnat @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories @imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastormm  @zoomdeathknight @rayeofmoonlight @aeroae @sashawalker2
882 notes · View notes
vivwritesfics · 1 month
Text
Marry Me?
She needs a wedding date, someone to fake being her boyfriend, and he's happy to help.
Tumblr media
"I need your help."
Daniel Ricciardo loved his best friend. He would have done anything for her. So when she came to him, asking him to pretend to be her date for her sisters wedding, he said yes.
Drinking and dancing with his best friend, he couldn't imagine anything better.
He nodded his head in agreement and opened his arms for her and she fell into them, sigh content. "You're the best, Honey badger," she mumbled as she laid her head against his chest.
"Have you gotten a dress yet?"
Daniel knew before he'd even agreed to go with her that their outfits were going to be matching. His tie, bow tie, whatever he ended up wearing, was gonna match her dress, he knew. His little surprise for the wedding.
Daniel was there a few days later, when her mother called. He turned down the radio in her car and kept quiet as she spike to her mother.
"Hi mum," he heard as he continued to drive. In any other setting, Daniel would have been able to hear her mother's responses. But the low hum of the engine and the sound of the air conditioning kept him from that. Not that he would have been trying to listen in, of course.
"Yeah I got my date sorted," he heard her say, rather exasperated. "Yes, he's really nice. Trust me, you're all going to love him."
There was a pause, her mother speaking as her eyes went wide. "Boyfriend?!" She cried, and her mother continued. "But-" Her mother kept speaking, stopping her from cutting in. "Wait-" And then the line went dead.
Dropping her phone into her lap, she turned her attention back to Daniel. "I might need a bigger favour than you just being my plus one."
***
No matter how many times Daniel told her, she wasn't going to get it through her head that he would do anything for her. He was standing in a Chapel, tie the same shade of green as her dress, for crying out loud! Pretending to be her boyfriend was no big deal.
He'd made a big show of it in the morning, driving her to where her sister was staying. He held her hand, pulled her back into him when she tried to walk through the door. All of her sisters friends cooed when he kissed the top of her head before letting go.
He held her hand through the ceremony. It really was a lovely ceremony, a little cheesy, filled the clichés, but still beautiful. Admittedly, it got a little boring, but that was where Daniel came in.
They thumb wrestled, played rock paper scissors, and other things you'd expect bored kids to do. It didn't matter that they were grown adults, they were having fun.
Daniel held her hand as they headed to the reception. His hand was warm in hers and she thought she could feel a different between his tattooed skin and the skin that didn't have any ink (in reality, she just knew his body that well that she knew exactly where to find his tattoos).
They sat through the speeches. Did it hurt that her sister hadn't asked her to write one? Yeah, it did. But she sat there, Daniel's hand so distracting on her knee.
And then the dancing started. Her sister and her new husband took to the dance floor. It was slow, their entire families watching them. But then more people joined in.
Standing up, Daniel held out his hand.
"We don't have to dance," she said as she sipped her drink.
Daniel took her drink from her hands and put it down. "It'll be fun," he said with his usual charming grin and pulled her to her feet.
One hand holding hers, the other on her waist, Daniel began moving her across the dance floor. "I think your parents were about to ask me my intentions," he said, holding her body against his.
"Your intentions, huh?" He grinned, and looked at her parents over his shoulder. "And what are your intentions, Mr Ricciardo?"
He couldn't hide his grin as he looked at her. "Marriage, kids, side by side coffins, baby!"
Her laugh echoed around the hall. Several family members were looking at the both of them, probably whispering to each other about how cute they were. And they were, his suit matching her tie, the two of them standing too close to be friends.
They just needed to realise it themselves.
525 notes · View notes
livinginshambles · 1 year
Text
How much are we worth? | James Potter
Tumblr media
Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader
Word count: 5.8k
Summary: Sirius bets that James can't get a girl to go out with him. James pursues you and falls for you. You are hurt when you find out that you were just a bet, even more when you realise how little they bet on you.
Notes: A classic: Strangers to friends to lovers, Angst, Bet trope, Fluff and happy ending because yey, I believe in second chances :) Existence of a wardrobe that works like newt scamanders suitcase and SPeLLing Mistakes
Masterlist
_________________
In hindsight, you should've known.
"Have you maybe considered giving up on her?" Remus' question caught James off guard when he returned to the marauders at the Gryffindor table after another failed attempt and rejection by Lily.
"Not until she's given me a chance at least," James responded, eyes trained on Lily's retreating figure. "Besides, this chasing game is sort of our thing now."
The marauders nodded sceptically.
"Not particularly the dynamic I'd want to have with the person I fancy," Peter whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear. James shot him a look as if Peter had just committed the greatest betrayal of the century.
Sirius snorted out loud. "Dynamic my ass, yeah." He threw a piece of bread across the table in James' direction.
"He's stuck with Lily now because if he decides to chase some other poor girl and inevitably get rejected, it'll prove that James Potter just can't get some," he added, wearing a shit eating grin on his face.
James pulled a face at Sirius. "Oh please I can get girls. It's just that contrary to you, I actually show commitment to only one," he huffed.
Sirius shrugged. "You say that, but you've never even had a girlfriend. Been pining over Evans since first year. Besides, commitment or being stuck," he weighed his hands in the air. "Same same."
James rolled his eyes and got up. When he turned around, he crashed into someone who had been standing behind him, tripping her, and he sent her crashing into the Ravenclaw table behind him. The Ravenclaw sitting at that table ducked out of the way. She stuck her hands out to brace herself and loudly hissed when her hand ended up in someone's scalding soup.
"Godric, I am so sorry," James scrambled to offer her a napkin. She snatched it out of his hands and dried her hands. James saw that they were scorching red and more apologies stumbled out of his mouth.
"Let me help you get to madam Pomfrey," he offered, concern lacing his tone. He reached his hand out to her and she jerked away.
"Fuck off Potter, I'd rather take a bloody bath in boiling water than go anywhere with you." She spat, and left, hand pressed against her chest, covered by the napkin.
The commotion had everyone turn their heads at him and despite usually being a fan of being at the centre of attention, he embarrassedly sat down again.
"Guess really no girl wants to go anywhere with you, Prongs," Sirius snickered. James offered him a sour look.
"This was just because I literally burned her hand, Pads. Any other time, she would totally go out with me." James boasted, but guilt and concern for the girl who he didn't know, lingered in his mind.
"Right, you wanna bet?"
"The usual?"
"The usual."
They sealed the deal with a nod. Peter and Remus shared a look but they knew that was no use trying to tell them to stop it already. Remus thought back to the scowl on the girl's face and prayed that she would stay headstrong and reject James.
After all, Sirius and James were from wealthy families, so money has never actually played a role during these bets. It’s just the principle of it that counts and is the reason why they only ever bet one galleon. It meant someone would get hurt.
The scowl on your face disappeared with the cool relief of the running water from the girls bathroom on your hand, but the bitter feeling remained when your mind wandered to James Potter. You scoffed to yourself. Arrogant, self pretentious, blood boiling bully. Though never having been a victim of their pranks, you lost several friends to Beauxbatons because of the marauders’ cruelty.
You glanced at yourself in the mirror one last time and left for your Ancient Runes class where you walked to your designated seat next to Lily Evans. You two unsurprisingly got along. Though your personalities were nothing alike, you being rather reserved, you could both value each other’s calm presence and even ‘maturity’ to a certain degree.
She offered you a smile and you nodded at her in acknowledgement. “I’m embarrassed to ask this, but could I maybe share your book? I didn’t have time to pick it up after lunch.” Lily gave you a surprised look but quickly assured you that you could to which you offered her a small but grateful smile.
She opened her mouth to tell you something, when something else, or rather someone else, caught her attention. Before he even reached the table, she had already attempted to ward him off in a monotone voice. “Go away Potter, I’m not interested.”
“Not here for you, Lilypad,” he smugly said and stopped right next to you. Lily raised her eyebrows and looked at you with a concerned look. Without looking up from Lily’s book, you also repeated Lily’s words. “Fuck off Potter, I’m not interested either.”
“I haven’t even said anythi-“
“And I don’t want you to.”
“Okay, but here me out, I-“
“I. Don’t. Want. You. To,” you pronounced every word clearly.
“Come on, just listen-“
You turned around, an incredibly sour look on your face. James couldn’t help but admire you for a moment. You looked pretty, contorted face aside. Especially when you had smiled at Lily. It had caught him off guard.
“Can you spare me a second?” He tried again. For a second, he thought he saw a look of appreciation cross your face at his formulated words, but it was gone in a split second.
“No. Class is starting, get back to your seat Potter,” you dryly responded. You turned back to your book and James walked back to his friends.
James potter was determined though, you had to give him that. You abruptly turned on your heels, ready to walk in the opposite direction, even if it would mean a detour of about 8 minutes to your destination. You were really not into his crap today.
“Y/N!” James called out to you and chased you.
“I told you to call me by my last name. We're not friends, Potter. I don’t want to be. In fact, I don’t want anything to do with you. So, for Merlin’s sake, leave me alone, or I swear on his balls that I will hurt you.” You spat the last part out through gritted teeth and
James took a step back in surprise. He looked at you for a moment, carefully considering his next words. “L/N.” He settled on, voice quieter. When you didn’t immediately walk off, he took it as a sign to continue. “I was wondering if you would allow me to sit next to you during our free period between Transfiguration and Potions.”
You raised you eyebrows.
“My friends all took classes and there’s like a two hour gap and I like company, that’s all,” he hastily explained before you could go and reject him.
“What are you, six years old?” You sarcastically asked him. “Can’t spend what, two hours on your own?”
James’ eyes averted to the ground. “Just not enjoying being alone,” he mumbled, almost embarrassedly. You looked at him, great, now you were being an asshole yourself.
“You know the big old wardrobe in the abandoned classroom on the seventh floor?” you eventually asked. James’ eyes lit up and nodded.
“It’s bigger on the inside.” You said.
“A secret room?” He asked while trying to recall seeing an extra room on the map. You nodded. “Not even visible on your map because it’s not Hogwarts. A pocket dimension, Dumbledore said.”
James’ jaw fell slack. “You know about the map?” he whispered.
“You can join me there between classes next week if you want, but I can’t promise you that it’ll be any different to passing the time on your own.” You said, completely ignoring him. You stopped in front of the library. “A word about the wardrobe and I swear-“
“-on Merlin’s balls that you’ll hex me, yeah,” he waved you off with a triumphant smile.
“Witty, are you now.” You looked at him. A small smirk lingering on the corner of your lips. James heart skipped.
“Just one of the effects you have on me, darling,” he winked at you. “L/N,” he quickly corrected when your face fell into a scowl again.
“I’m not kidding though, this is my spot to get away from everything. I don’t feel like sharing it with people.” James felt flattered. So you would share it with him?
“I solemnly swear I won’t tell,” he assured you, a serious expression on his face. “You can trust me, L/N.” He cringed at his own words. Trust him? He was only talking to you to prove Sirius wrong.
“I’ll hold you to it, Potter,” you nodded and entered the library. The door closed and James slouched against the wall next to him. A giddy feeling fluttered in his stomach at the thought of hanging out with you.
“So what happened to rather bathing in boiling water than going anywhere with me,” James couldn’t help but arrogantly ask while trying to keep up with your ridiculously fast walking pace as you two were on your way to the wardrobe. “I’m not going anywhere with you, you’re going somewhere with me,” you denied, your eyes narrowed at him. James put his hands up in mock surrender. “Lead the way, L/N.”
“I am,” you deadpanned.
James sceptically looked at the oak wardrobe. He and his friends had rummaged through this room already. It included the wardrobe, but it had looked pretty normal.
“Doesn’t look very special,” he said while you were busy locking the door behind you. You made your way over to James and pushed him out of the way roughly. He gaped at you with an offended look on his face. “You know, being a bit more chivalrous wouldn’t hurt you,” he exclaimed.
You shrugged and opened the door. James stared in amazement as he realised that the inside was in fact bigger. He walked to the wall that the wardrobe was standing against and squeezed his hand between the wall and the wardrobe.
“Why are you so surprised?” you asked. “We literally learned about the Extension charm yesterday?”
“We did?”
Maybe hanging out with James Potter wasn’t as terrible as you had expected it to be and so, it became a routine. James had finally realised that his persistence to flirt with you or try to impress you wasn’t getting him anywhere and had opted to actually be considerate of you.
He respected you when you not so kindly told him to fuck off and was sitting next to you quietly while you studied between hours in the wardrobe. He had read the book that he’d seen you read in the courtyard- and was surprised to find himself interested in the story- so that he could talk to you about something when your demeanour told him that he could speak again. He stuck to calling you by your last name and learned to read your mood when he could joke around.
Most importantly, he’d learned to enjoy himself in a comfortable silence that didn’t require him to do or say anything and just let him be.
You two were laying on the couch again, feet propped up, both on opposite sides, but feet touching in the middle. James was admiring you. The way your eyebrows crunched up in a frown, eyes squinted, and lips mouthing the words you were reading.
“You’re careless with spelling, Potter.” You eventually looked up from correcting his assignment. “But that’s a brilliant essay.”
James beamed up at you, relief, pride and happiness all washing over him at once.
“Also, you have a nice handwriting,” you added after considering whether or not you should mention it.
James was now fully grinning, pushing himself to sit up from his relaxed position. “Two compliments?” he asked teasingly and you immediately huffed and looked away. “Don’t let it get to your head, Potter. It’s big as it is.”
“But you think I’m brilliant and that my handwriting is nice.” He repeated happily.
“Your essay was brilliant,” you attempted to correct him, but he seemed to be lost in happy thoughts. You looked at him. He had his arms up behand his neck because he had laid down again. He was grinning from ear to ear and his eyes squinted in delight and satisfaction. He looked so... harmless.
“You know,” you began and James looked up at you, propping himself up a little in curiosity at the fact that you were starting the conversation for the first time.
“I used to think you were the biggest asshole ever. Astoundingly stupid and good for nothing but hurting people.” You were looking up at the ceiling now and missed the way James eyes flashed with mixed feelings.
“I had a few friends, you know. They were great, but everyone called them boring and a stick in the mud.” You turned your head towards James. “You and the rest of the marauders used to tell us to “lighten up already,” and pranked us separately, one by one until all five moved schools.”
James looked down, feeling horrible and guilty. It was true that in his early years at Hogwarts, he and his friends had been going too far with pranks. That kind of stopped after that prank.
“So I’ve held a grudge against you, like any good friend would do,” you smiled to yourself at the thought of your friends. “I think maybe I no longer have to.” James heart melted at your confession. Over the course of weeks, he’d become desperate for your approval and friendship.
“You’ve changed since then,” you concluded out loud. “Not cruel anymore.” You hesitated for a moment.
“James?” You then asked and James looked up at you with wide eyes. He knew that this was the first time that you’d addressed him by his name instead of ‘Potter’.
“Yeah?”
“I really value our friendship,” you whispered. “It’s worth a lot to me.”
James heart both warmed and tightened. “It’s worth a lot to me too,” he whispered back.
“Where were you,” Remus asked when he returned to the Gryffindor common room. “We looked on the map, but we couldn’t find you.”
“And we couldn’t find Y/N either.” James fought the urge to correct them and say that they shouldn’t use your first name like that. That he had worked for your friendship to stop calling you by your last name.
“Do I owe you a galleon now?” Sirius popped up from behind him. “What? No,” James said, thinking of another subject to talk about, wanting to ignore the existence of the bet in the first place.
“I was hanging out with Y/N,” he admitted. “But because we're friends now.”
“Yeah, but where were you hanging out?” Peter asked. “Because we weren’t allowed to leave Hogwarts today.”
“Did you find another secret passage?” Sirius gasped and James immediately shook his head to deny it. “Oh come on, we’re your friends, you have to tell us!”
Remus watched James shift uncomfortably and tried to intervene. “Let him be, Padfoot.” Sirius wasn’t having it though, and when James said that he promised not to tell, he responded with, “What, you value your fake friendship with that stick-up-her-ass girl more than us?”
“It’s not a fake friendship,” he weakly fought back. “Don’t call her that.”
Sirius sighed. “I’m sorry Prongs. I didn’t mean to call her that, hell I don’t even know the girl, she’s probably alright. But you’re keeping secrets, it’s not fair.”
You stared in disbelief at the marauder who wasn’t James, having a hook-up in your wardrobe. When he noticed you in the entrance, Sirius merely held his hand up at you in a greeting. “Thanks for letting me borrow this, this is the best spot for not getting caught.”
You backed away and slammed the door shut. James.
“Potter!” you yelled at him when you saw him leave the Gryffindor chambers. Your face was contorted in anger and you were seething.
He looked up at you, happy feeling in his chest and he was itching to show you the paper behind his back.
You stabbed your finger in his chest, effectively wiping the happy grin on his face off. “You promised,” you hissed. James immediately knew what you were talking about. “I’m sorry, I had to tell him,” he tried to justify his actions and you scoffed. “Fuck you,” you spat and walked off.
James stood there, frozen and stared at the empty spot in front of him. His arms hung by his side and he looked down at his essay which wore a big ‘O’ mark and right next to it in Professor McGonagall’s handwriting, ‘Keep this brilliant work up, Mr. Potter.’
James was watching you, sulking. He had made such progress and now it felt as if all those baby steps were for nothing, instead taking eight long strides back. You had closed yourself off again and James was too intimidated by your glares every time he walked in your direction, so he would change directions last minute every time you burned a hole through his head with your eyes.
‘This is so stupid’ he thought to himself when his body automatically steered him away from you again. He mustered up all of his courage and headed straight for you. He would rather face your wrath head on than go back to being strangers. Especially when tomorrow was free period again.
“Is it okay if I talk to you for a moment?” he asked, nervous.
You scanned him up and down. Everything about him looked remorseful, from his posture to dull eyes to his tone when he asked you if he could have a word. You waved at him to take a seat next to you, and he gratefully took the opportunity.
“I’m sorry. I swore I wouldn’t tell and I did and I shouldn’t have. I would go back in time and stop past me from telling Sirius, but I can’t, but I also don’t want to lose you because I meant what I said. This friendship is worth so much to me.” James took a deep breath. “So please let me make amends?” he finished.
“Okay.”
James blinked. “Okay?” he dumbly repeated.
“That’s what I said.”
“Wait, so that’s it? No grovelling? No conditions?”
“Would you like me to add conditions?”
“I mean..” James stuttered. “Sure?”
“Fine. Consider this your second chance , even though it technically is your third after your horrid behaviour towards my friends. It’s also your last.” You said that last part sharply. “Do you accept those terms?”
James nodded in relief and agreed. It was only when he laid in bed at night that he realised that he should’ve probably gotten clean on the matter of the bet right when he had the chance. He was on his last chance after all. But it would be alright. He would simply call off the bet and then it would be as if nothing ever happened. No one had to know, no one had to get hurt.
He waited after Transfiguration and grinned at you when you made your way to him. He had really looked forward to spending time with you again at your spot. Even if the marauders knew its location now, too.
“Lead the way, Y/N.”
“I am,” you retorted with a hint of amusement in your voice. James grinned and followed you, only noticing after a while that you were walking around on the third floor instead of the seventh. “Did you find a new spot?” he curiously asked.
“Yes. And no.” James huffed at your vagueness, imploring you to explain. “Let’s just say that Dumbledore got himself off my blacklist.” You turned the corner and moved a portrait to the side. James knew of the passageway. It was moist in there and cold so it hadn’t interested him and his friends very much. But behind the door you just opened, stood your wardrobe.
He looked at it, amazed. “You got Dumbledore to move a wardrobe for you?” he asked incredulously. You slyly smiled but didn’t say anything except for “I did the cleaning myself.”
“So what’s going on with you and James,” Lily curiously asked you. You shrugged and brought your water bottle to your lips. “Kept bothering me into a friendship, I guess.”
Lily laughed. “Well, whatever keeps him away from me,” she joked and you let out an audible laugh. She leaned in towards you. “But if he’s no longer fighting for my attention, but yours, I think it might mean that he fancies you.”
You choked on your water. “Most certainly not!” You strictly assured her and composed yourself. Lily laughed. “No need to get so defensive over his feelings. You make it seem as if I suggested that you fancied him,” she said, chuckling. You turned your head away and she gasped. “Do you fancy him?”
“What’s with all this gossiping and boys talk,” you grumbled, unpleased. “But for the record, I don’t think so.” You stuck your nose up.
“You don’t think so?” Lily repeated. “What do you mean?”
“I gravely appreciate him and I feel very comforted in his presence. We’re friends. It doesn’t mean I fancy him.” You answered. “Besides, I’ve never fancied anyone. Not sure I know what it’s like.”
“Okay, how would you feel if he starts dating someone, right now?”
You pondered over the question for a bit. “I guess he can do whatever he wants, but don’t expect me to share our spot with some random girl,” you said, the last part coming out more bitter than you expected. Huh. ‘Did you fancy James Potter?’ you wondered.
“I fancy her,” James told his friends while they were out in Hogsmeade.
“L/N?” Peter asked. James nodded in affirmation. “Well damn Prongs,” Sirius started. “What happened?”
“Y/N and I are good, I think. We fit and it feels amazing. It seems surprising, but we can talk for hours or sit in silence together without it being weird at all. Everything is comfortable with her, in like the good way,” James struggled to express all his feelings about you.
Sirius whistled. “Almost envious of you, Prongs. What about Evans though?”
James shrugged. “Not the kind of dynamic I want.”
“So are you going to tell her?” Remus asked. James puffed his chest. “Of course. I’m not shy about my feelings. I publicly chased after Lily for years,” he reasoned. But despite his big words, he felt like a nervous wreck. Because what if you rejected him?
James found you in the library. “Is now a good time?” he asked. You sat up straight. Last night, you had done a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that yes, you fancied James Potter. “Yes, actually. I wanted to talk to you,” you replied. You got up and and started to gather your belongings. James grabbed your books for you and you left the library.
“I fancy you.”
James blinked. Were his ears deceiving him? Were you joking? Did you have a bet of your own going on with someone?
“I’m sorry?” he managed to get out, his voice an octave higher than usual.
“I fancy you,” you stated again. Matter of factly. “I came to the realisation yesterday and they do say honesty is the best policy.” James laughed softly at your sad attempt to lessen the awkward atmosphere.
“I actually wanted to talk to you to say the same thing,” he breathed out in a relieved manner. You stared at him in surprise. Okay. Definitely not what you expected.
“So you fancy me.” You repeated to make sure.
“And you fancy me.” James nodded.
“Do you want to go out with me?” you asked.
James’ heart leaped. He had spent so much time asking that question, he realised that how amazing it felt to hear the question directed at him. He grinned. “Glad you asked, darling. Yes, I’ll go out with you.” He reached out to you carefully wrapped an arm around you. You fully leaned into him in a hug and breathed him in.
“Think our relationship just went up in value.” You mumbled, your words slightly muffled by your face, hidden in his sweater.
You felt him laugh. “Well, we upgraded from friends to couple. How much are we worth now?”
You pretended to think about it. “We’re worth all the money in Gringotts bank.”
“That’s a lot of money,” he hummed.
You had taken James out on a date in the middle of the Gryffindor Quidditch stands at night, after curfew. James was the first to lean in and kiss you and when he did, he practically melted into you, your arms slung over his broad shoulders. He’d muttered something about how lucky he was and you’d told him that he better know it, before admitting that you felt the same way.
After you had left him several hickeys, scattered across his neck, he had insisted on returning the favour. He was only on his second when you two were interrupted by Filch, who had spotted you two. You two ran off to the third floor and decided to hide out in your wardrobe until he was gone all while continuing making out. You and James fell asleep in that position. You on your back on the couch, James draped over you like a weighted blanket with his face nuzzled in your throat, and your legs entangled.
Though very surprised at first, your fellow Hogwarts students quickly got used to the idea of you and James in a relationship. It wasn’t long before you were walking down the corridors together, James hand on your lower back and inching lower. You shot him a warning glare and he bit his check when he splayed his hand over your ass with a cheeky smile. You elbowed him in the ribs, earning a huff and let your hand rest on his ass in turn.
Everything was perfect, which is of course why everything had to become a disaster very quickly. James wasn’t even sure how such a perfect night had turned so horrible. One moment, you were partying, everything had been great, and he had been envisioning you and him for the rest of your lives, and the next, he was pleading with you through a locked door.
“Y/N, we can call you Y/N right?” Sirius had drunkenly slurred. You had rolled your eyes at his antics, but nodded. Though you would never admit it out loud, you appreciated the elder Black.
“I like you. We all like you and we’re happy that it’s you and not Evans anymore,” he mumbled on and he stumbled over his own feet, barely reacting in time to not drop to the floor.
You internally smiled at his words.
“I’m sorry that I was an asshole to you. You’re really great. If I had known, I wouldn’t have targeted your friend group for pranks or risked your feelings by making you part of a stupid bet.”
It was as if the world stopped spinning for a moment, music only barely in the background. “A bet?” you spoke in a dangerously low voice.
Sirius seemed to catch on to your change in demeanour and sobered up at an incredible rate. “Shit, no-“
But you had already turned around to find James, Sirius stumbling behind you to try and stop you.
“How much?” you spat out angrily when you found him. The music was luckily loud enough to hide your argument from other students.
James looked at you, confused. “How much?”
“How much are we worth?”
James frowned at you question. “All the money in Gringotts bank,” he calmly answered you and moved to embrace you, thinking you were just very drunk.
You pushed him away and he stumbled a few steps back.
“No,” you hoarsely responded. “That’s how much I think we’re worth. How much did you bet on me.”
James’ blood ran cold. “I-“ His words opened and closed like a fish. “Because the amount better have been fucking worth it, James,” you cut him off.
“Darling-“
You felt numb. “How little?”
“A galleon.”
You nodded and stepped back. “I was wrong,” you shakily breathed out. “You, James Potter, are still cruel.”
James chased you. “Wait, please,” he begged. You ran out of the room, towards the third floor and into the wardrobe hidden behind the door behind the portrait.
James followed you and pulled on the knob to open the wardrobe that you had locked. He sunk down against the doors and took a deep breath.
He had to explain. He had to let you know that you meant everything to him. And that everything was real. Honesty is the best policy after all, right?
“I’m sorry. Darling, I am so sorry. It’s so stupid how it happened. They were saying that I couldn’t get anyone to go out with me and then I accidentally hurt you with the soup incident, so Sirius bet with me that I couldn’t get anyone you to go out with me. I was never planning on hurting you, I swear,“ James rambled.
“I wanted to apologize and make up for your hand anyway. Not that it was out of pity or anything,” he immediately added.
“I did think you were beautiful. I did want to talk to you. And when you rejected me at first, yes, I did want to prove Sirius wrong. But then you were everything. I wanted so desperately to be friends with you because you were right. The bet was stupid, but it was never about money. It was never even about you per se, but I’m so fucking happy that it ended up being you, because I’m in love with you. Please believe me.”
You sucked in a breath at his words. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
James jumped at your voice from the other side of the door. “I wanted to, I really did. But I had already screwed up once and you weren’t going to give me anymore chances, so I thought that if I just never told you and called of the bet, pretending it never happened, I could keep you.” He leaned back against the door, eyes tightly shut. “And if we break up, then I don’t regret it, because the past months with you were perfect,” he whispered.
The door abruptly opened from inside out and he stumbled back, having leaned against it. He looked up at you, hovering above him. He knew you. He knew how to read you and right now, you needed space. “I’ll wait for you,” he said, hesitantly and left you alone.
You needed your friends right now.
When James didn’t see you the next day, he accepted that you didn’t want to see him. But by now, almost an entire week had passed and James and his friends were itching to apologize to you at least once more. He decided to ask Lily where you were and was absolutely not prepared for her answer.
“She went to Beauxbatons.” Lily pursed her lips at the boy in front of her in disdain. She knew what had happened but couldn’t help but pity him a little bit when he looked at her like that. Devastated.
James’ world stopped and for a moment he thought he couldn’t breathe. Did you leave? Had he managed to push you away to a whole different school? He thanked Lily for her answer and sat down at his own desk in a daze. His body moved on autopilot for the next few days. He was falling into a routine that he didn’t like.
During free periods, he hid out in the wardrobe, face up towards the ceiling as he imagined you were lying in his arms right then.
You had been gone for a week and a half and had returned to Hogwarts. Feeling lighter in your heart and decisive steps carrying you towards the Gryffindor Quidditch stands, right on time for the match.
You saw James and your heart jumped. He looked good. He had definitely looked better before, but all in all, he looked good. You bit your lip, suddenly insecure and doubting his promise to wait for you. Another twenty points for Gryffindor and admired James from the distance.
When you had arrived at Beauxbatons, you had wallowed in self pity for a day or two before your friends had pulled you out of it and reasoned with you. Surprisingly on James’ behalf.
You knew they were right. You were madly in love with James and he was undoubtedly madly in love with you too. Though it had all started off as a bet, how could you stay upset when it only brought you and James together.
James eyes scanned through the crowd, automatically trailing to the spot where you two had been sitting and kissed during your first date. He had to do a double take when he saw you in the crowds and almost fell off his broomstick when he rubbed his eyes with both hands to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
He started making his way towards you when his eyes locked onto the golden snitch. His eyes flickered between you and the snitch, but you had seen it too, so you flashed him a grin. His shoulders relaxed, and he started the chase.
“Darling?” James appeared in the doorway to the boy’s changing rooms.
“James,” you nodded. You were smiling at him, and your warm, inviting tone had him move forward until you were within reach.
“I’ve missed you so much, I thought I lost you.”
“Hm, you’re just lucky that I really really love you too.” You sassed back. James was in front of you in two big steps. “Yeah?” he asked a twinkle in his eye. “Just like that? No grovelling? No conditions?”
You kissed him. “Would you like me to include grovelling?” you laughed at him.
“Yeah actually. You see, I’ve already prepared at least eight different ways to make up to you.”
He pressed his lips to yours again.
“Get a room!” Sirius yelled and you shot him a sour look. He held up his hands in surrender, a shit eating grin still present on his face.
“Fine, but don’t expect your captain back for the celebratory party. He’s mine tonight,” you shot back.
“And every other night, I hope?” James coyly smiled at you. You shook your head in amusement and dragged him away, hand slipping to rest on his ass, his own hand finding its way to yours.
“Lead the way, Darling.”
@elsie-bells @charlie-weasley-is-underrated @dreamingofmarauders @moonyslibrary98 @wildernessflora @hollandweather @queerqueenlynn @locklyebrainrot @thisrandombitch @moonys0chocolate @grac3aph3lion @someonesuggestmeaname @mel-yldrm @yrseline @apiec @earfquak3 @yourvvenicebitch @venomsvl @leyla-ravenclaw @spacedangel @darrarii @shrekscrustybudassy @unsleptwriter @middle-of-the-earth @sirene-noir @bettytaylorversion @littlepoisonmushroom @faumpje @iloveutwice @katelebate @moonysupremacy01 @marina468 @fangirl-kimora @bellesowl @badasswlthafatass @sjprongs
@targaryenmoony @its-a-ittle-bit-cold @quackitysdrugdealer @gaysludge @acciotwinz @in2meijasworld @shadowbriar @kategables @prongsprincessworld @devilsnightz @lavandersblues @inesven
4K notes · View notes