#it's been a few hours since i've heard an update from anyone

[heybaetae]

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[karajaynetoday]

nothing's going right, and everything's a mess, and no one likes to be alone | jack hughes

author's note: don't ask me how the university semester timeline in this works. i have simply given reader a three week break in march bc why not. this is fanfiction okay, anything can happen 😂 no one proofread this for me so soz for any typos!

word count: 3.4k words

warnings: none that i can think of? but lmk if i've missed anything. soz if the ending makes you mad LOL i do love a cliffhanger

read part one here

read part two here

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here (soz that the masterlist is not up to date lol) | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here

Somehow, the ill feeling of waiting until summer to see Jack again began to fade with each passing day. The itch to text him every time something exciting or infuriating happened to you began to lessen. The thoughts of him when you saw a funny meme he’d like, or your shared favourite foods on special at the grocery store, quietly stopped happening as frequently. 

But then there were the things that didn’t stop. The sharp pain in your chest whenever Jack’s smiling face popped up on your social media feed. The butterflies in your stomach whenever your parents brought him up in conversation, fuelled by whatever the latest updates were from their group message thread with Jim and Ellen. The joy that would wash over you when you heard about a Devils win or a Jack Hughes goal, followed almost always by a wave of sadness that you were hearing about it second or third hand, rather than from Jack himself.

You were the one who’d asked for space. You needed time, you’d said. Given the blow up of All-Star weekend, all Jack was doing was respecting your wishes; but a huge part of you not so secretly wished he’d be a bit more disrespectful and reach out. Your mind was a mess of conflicting thoughts, and your heart wasn’t sure which emotion to feel or where to go next. 

Since kindergarten, you’d barely gone more than a few days without seeing or communicating with Jack in some way. Now you were nearly a month without a word, and even though you were still mad at how he’d treated you, you were craving a return to the friendship you’d become so accustomed to. Jack knew you better than anyone, could basically read your mind with a single look, and although you had plenty of friends at college and still around in Toronto from high school, none came close to the camaraderie you shared with Jack. He was someone you could talk to for hours, or sit next to in silence for the same amount of time, it didn’t matter. With Jack, you could be utterly and entirely yourself, no complications. Now it felt like you were always pretending. And it was exhausting.

It was about 9pm on a Thursday night when you found yourself pushing through that exhaustion to try and complete yet another university assignment. For motherfucking economics. You couldn’t wait until you’d completed all of your compulsory economics credits because it was the absolute opposite of your cup of tea, when it came to academic subjects. This assignment was your last one, and you weren’t sure whether to cheer or cry at the idea of hitting the submit button on the online portal. Maybe you should’ve bought a confetti cannon to celebrate. Or a box of wine. Or booked yourself a flight somewhere fun, given you had a break from classes soon.

As soon as the thought of a trip crossed your mind, your phone began to buzz with an incoming video call. A video call from… Luke. Luke Hughes. 

Your face scrunched in confusion, as you swiped to answer the call, met with Luke’s smiling face and messy curls. 

“Hey sunshine! Long time no see. How have you been?” Luke spoke cheerily. Almost too cheerily. 

You were immediately suspicious and narrowed your eyes at the youngest Hughes. 

Luke was 3 years old when you met for the first time; he could barely remember a life without you in it. Given how inseparable you and Jack were, Luke became your de facto little brother, always tagging along where he could and joining in your adventures. Later on, when he became a teenager, you were the one Luke would come to when he was having issues with his friends, or trying to build up the courage to ask out the cute girl in his math class, or missing his brothers when they moved away. You were his second call after Ellen when he felt homesick at Michigan, and you were his first call when he had fucked up something that he felt his brothers would never let him live down. Emotional support and damage control, with a healthy dose of teasing and laughs thrown in. That was the dynamic between you and Luke. It also meant you could read him to filth when he was lying to you, and your honesty radar was through the roof at this sudden video call.

“I’m fine, Moose. Just trying to wrap up my final assignment before the break without losing my entire mind.” You offered weakly, half-expecting Luke to make a joke about your mind having been lost years ago, but the joke never came.

Instead, you saw the concern flicker across Luke’s face, just for a moment, before he forced a smile.

“How long is your break for? Any plans?”

“Three weeks, and not really. I promised my mother I’d spend a few days helping her with planning for their anniversary party in June, but that probably won’t happen until right before I go back to school.” You chatted absently, hitting save on your essay and standing up from the couch, bringing your phone with you as you moved into the kitchen to make yourself a drink.

You propped the phone up against the vase on your kitchen bench, reaching up into the cabinet to retrieve a glass. 

“Well, you should come visit. We’ve got like 5 home games in a row or something ridiculous coming up. It’d be fun!” Luke’s tone was cheerful, but cautious, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to react. 

You hummed in response, moving slightly out of view of your phone to get some ice cubes from your freezer and a soda from the fridge. 

“Besides, I heard a rumour that you’ve got an airline voucher to use. I’d hate for it to expire or something.” 

You could feel your heart starting to beat faster. Luke knew about the voucher. Did that mean Jack had told him about your fight? 

“The voucher won’t expire for three years. I’m sure I’ll manage to use it before then.” You deadpanned, stepping back into frame to see Luke rolling his eyes at you. 

“Yeah, sure, but will I survive that long without seeing you? Absolutely not. Come on, sugar. Please? Even if it’s just a weekend?” Luke had moved into full begging mode, with puppy dog eyes and everything.

You sighed, fidgeting with the straw in your drink and avoiding his gaze. 

“I don’t… we haven’t talked at all, Luke. I don’t know what he’ll do if I just show up there.” You half-whispered, feeling that all-too-familiar wave of sadness coursing through your veins. 

“He talked about you tonight at dinner. Says he misses you. But he doesn’t want to push, or not give you the space you wanted. But right now, he’s on the couch watching Gossip Girl, so…” Luke stated matter-of-factly, staring you down with a knowing look on your face.

Gossip Girl was something you’d insisted Jack get into when you were teenagers, as long as he “wanted to be called your official best friend”. And The OC. And Gilmore Girls. And One Tree Hill. And basically any other teen drama series you could think of. Collectively, those shows had thousands of episodes, and you always found yourself settling down to watch them whenever you were missing Jack more than usual. You’d never realised before that he did the same.

“Should… should we tell him I’m coming? I don’t want him to get upset by a bad surprise.” 

“Not at all, sugar. Book the flight and send me the details, I’ll sort out the rest.” Luke’s beaming smile made a smile of your own creep onto your face, as you nodded at him and went to retrieve your laptop from the couch to log onto the airline website.

“Now that that’s sorted, I was wondering, what does it mean when a girl asks me what my sun, moon and rising are? Should I be worried? Or is it a good thing?”

– 

Two days later, you were done with your semester and on your way to the airport. Luke had suggested you book a one-way flight, “That way, you can go home whenever you like!”, but you were starting to feel like the whole thing was a mistake. 

Nonetheless, you pushed through those feelings and boarded your flight. The whole ordeal took less than two hours, and soon enough you found yourself navigating the arrivals area at Newark airport. You spotted Luke’s lanky figure, clad in a Michigan sweatshirt, with his back to you. You couldn’t help but creep up on him and poke his side, cracking up with laughter as Luke jumped at least three feet into the air. He’d always been the easiest to scare, ever since you were kids. 

Luke cussed you out, and then pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. 

“Missed your face, sugarplum.” Luke murmured, as you pulled away from each other and he rested his hands on your shoulders, studying you. 

“Aw, Lukey. I’d say I’d missed yours too, but we really gotta do something about that hair.” You poked your tongue out as the youngest Hughes brother’s jaw dropped in mock offense. 

You retrieved your bag from the luggage carousel, and headed out to where Luke had parked. The two of you fell into easy conversation as Luke navigated through the New Jersey streets back to the apartment he shared with Jack. 

You managed to bury most of the nerves, but they came bubbling back to the surface when Luke pulled into the parking garage at the bottom of his building.

“Is… um… Is Jack home? Alone?” You managed to squeak out, and Luke looked at you like you were crazy. 

Ever since All-Star weekend, you’d been having a recurring nightmare about Jack and the girl from the messages you’d accidentally become privy to. In particular, it was a scenario where you would come home from wherever you’d been out, and opened the apartment door to find them… entangled, on every possible surface you could think of. You felt yourself starting to feel ill as the images from your nightmares started to flash back into your mind. 

“He’s alone. Ever since… ever since he came home early from All-Star, he’s been alone. None of the… usual visitors have been over. And he hasn’t been going to theirs, either. Not even when we’re on a roadie.” Luke said carefully, and you could tell he was trying not to upset you.

You could also tell that he was being honest. Because you could always tell when he was lying. But your mind was running a million miles a minute. Jack hadn’t… for a month? Because of his fight with you? You loved Jack, but you also knew (despite wishing that you didn’t know at all) that it had been years since he’d gone that long without intimacy. In fact, it was probably the longest since losing his virginity that Jack hadn’t fulfilled his desires. 

Your mind was starting to wander into the gutter, and you pressed your eyes closed to bring yourself back to Earth. All you could do was nod at Luke, before you both hopped out of the car and into the elevator. Luke insisted on carrying your luggage, so you found yourself fidgeting incessantly with your hands as the elevator climbed to the correct floor. 

You trailed behind Luke as he strode towards the apartment door and unlocked it, stepping inside and putting your bag down. He looked back and waved you into the apartment, pressing a finger to his lips. You tiptoed across the doorway, and your heart softened at the scene before you. 

You could see the back of Jack’s head leaned up against the couch, and an episode of Gilmore Girls playing on the TV mounted on the wall. In fact, it was one of your favourite episodes; where Jess comes back and shows Rory the book he wrote, and calls her out for dropping out of Yale. You smiled ruefully as you thought about the parallels between that episode and your current situation with Jack, as the argument between Jess and Rory played out on the screen.  

What do you mean?

You know what I mean! I know you. I know you better than anyone! This isn't you!

… 

This isn't you! This! You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this!

You caught him on a bad night.

This isn't about him! Okay? Screw him! What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?

I don't know. I don't know…

“Are we Team Jess or Team Rory this time, Jacky?” Luke called out, making you jump. 

“Team Jess all the way, obviously. Where have you bee-” Jack stopped dead in his tracks as he turned to face his brother, and instead saw you in the middle of his living room.

Jack’s face was a revelation. Confusion, at first. Then the briefest flash of hurt and anguish. Then a smile. Then caution and uncertainty, as he slowly stepped towards you. 

You let a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, and quickly moved across the room, clumsily throwing your arms around your best friend. You felt Jack freeze momentarily, almost as if he was shocked at your touch, but that soon passed and you felt his hands slide around your waist and squeeze, bringing your bodies as close together as possible. 

You nestled your head on Jack’s shoulder, breathing in his scent. His thumbs softly rubbed up and down your side, and you felt him press a soft kiss into your hair. You stayed like that for a minute, or maybe longer, relaxing into the embrace.

The sound of the apartment door slamming shut made you jolt, and you rolled your eyes as you realised that Luke had tried to sneak way unnoticed and failed miserably. 

“Hi.” Jack whispered, pulling back from you slightly but keeping his hands locked around you. 

“Hi.” You whispered back, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. 

“Is it still shit hair? Or better now it’s longer?” Jack teased, rolling his tongue between his teeth.

“Better. But only slightly.” You teased back, your hands slipping down to the back of his neck comfortably. 

The warmth of the surprise arrival was starting to fade. The dread you’d felt over addressing your fight with Jack was starting to set in, fast. The guilt you felt for being the catalyst for over a month for not speaking to your best friend was washing over you. Your heart rate was through the roof, and your palms were beginning to sweat. 

Jack sensed your change in mood, and pulled away from you to look you up and down.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to shower? Or take a nap?” He was nervous, too.

“I ate before my flight. And showered this morning. And it’s 11am, so I think I’m good on the nap front. But I do think we should… we should talk. About everything.” You were basically tripping over your words at this point, but Jack’s reassuring nod helped to calm your nerves. 

Wordlessly, Jack took your hand and led you over to the couch, gesturing for you to sit. You sat down and faced him, crossing your legs and resting your hands on your knees, still fidgeting with your hoodie sleeves. 

“I’m sorry - “ You both said unanimously, a gentle laughter filling the room. 

“I’m sorry I needed so much time apart, J. It fucking sucked, and it was my fault, and I just didn’t -” You began to ramble, only stopping when Jack leaned over and squeezed your knee reassuringly.

“You only needed that time because I was an asshole, sugar. It’s on me, really. I had no right to treat you like an occasional friend, or something that I shouldn’t prioritise -” Jack paused as you cringed, remembering the text messages that referred to his time with you as “boring family bullshit”. 

“I was thinking with my dick, not with my head, and that’s not fair on anyone.” You shot Jack a weird look, and he looked sheepish in return.

“Quinn… Quinn said that to me. After you told him to tell me about the messages. He’s right, thought. It wasn’t fair.” Jack continued, pausing to take a deep breath. 

“This whole… thing, this life -” Jack gestured broadly at the apartment around you, and you glanced around properly for the first time. Framed jerseys of Luke and Jack’s adorned the walls.Various photos of the Hughes family scattered about the place. The fridge, with a gas bill stuck to it, along with a polaroid of you and Jack from last Christmas. And a photo from your senior prom. And a group photo of everyone from last summer at the lake house, Jack’s mouth open in laughter with his arm slung over your bikini-clad shoulders. 

“It’s all I thought I ever wanted. And it’s amazing, and I’m so grateful. But it’s worth nothing to me, the money, the girls -” You felt yourself involuntarily cringe again. “The fame, the accolades, it’s worth nothing to me without the people that I love by my side. And if those people don’t know how much I love and appreciate them, because I treat them like shit, then that’s on me. No one else. Me.” 

You sat quietly, taking in Jack’s emphatic statement. You weren’t quite sure what to say. So instead, you gently reached over and took Jack’s hand in yours, lacing your fingers through his and squeezing softly, for a moment while you gathered your thoughts.

“I know the life you live, Jack. You don’t have to be sorry for it. Playing hockey was all you ever dreamed of, and I honestly can’t blame you for… enjoying… all the perks it comes with.” You swallowed the wave of nausea that hit you, before continuing. 

“I don’t… I don’t know what life looks like without you in it. The last month was such a bizarre experience, and not one that I ever want to repeat, but I also… I need to… Can I be honest?” You spoke softly, glancing up from your hands to meet Jack’s gaze, and he nodded encouragingly at you. 

“I wasn’t just upset because you made me feel like I was inconveniencing you, or cock-blocking you -” It was Jack’s turn to cringe. “I think I was upset because I was jealous. Because that will never, ever be me. And I think… I think I want it to be? Maybe? Fuck, I don’t know!” You dropped Jack’s hand and stood up from the couch, and started to pace the room. 

“Sugar, please sit down.” Jack pleaded, and you paused, looking back at him on the couch. One look was all you needed, and you narrowed your eyes at the smirk on his dumb face. 

“Why are you smirking? I am experiencing emotional distress, you asshole.” You seethed, running your hands through your hair in frustration.

“Tell me more about this jealousy thing. I’m intrigued.” Jack’s tone was light and teasing, and washed over you like sour milk. Your head whipped in his direction and your face must’ve said a thousand words, because Jack’s smirk soon disappeared and he hurriedly stood up and walked over, reaching out to touch you. 

“See, this -” You jabbed a finger into Jack’s chest. “This is why I have avoided this conversation for almost my entire life. Because you think it’s hilarious that we could ever go down that path. That we could ever be something more than what we are. Because I’m not good enough,or pretty enough, or just enough and I never will be, and I hate it. I hate it so much.” Your voice cracked on the last few words, and you felt the hot tears start to bubble out of your eyes and stream down your face. 

Jack didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He pulled you into a hug, bringing his hand up to your face and gently brushing away the tears with his thumbs. 

“Breathe, sugar. You need to calm down.” Jack said quietly, willing you to calm. That just made you cry harder. 

You were about to pull away, when you felt Jack cup your face with both hands, before leaning in to kiss you. 

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam, it looks like I'll be in Chicago for a few days next May. I'm going through all the typical sight seeing websites, but do you have any recommendations for a first time visitor? I'm not huge on architecture, parks or crowds. History, art and music are a big yes. I'm considering the Big Bus hop on/off tour for practicality. Any tips would be appreciated!

I used to have a "guide to Chicago" that I would link people to, but I think it probably badly needs updating, since a lot of what it talks about is pre-pandemic, and some places don't exist anymore (which is not necessarily down to the pandemic, Chicago is an ever-changing place). RIP Apocalypse McDonalds. Definitely before you follow anyone's advice including mine, look up what you're going to go see to make sure it's still there.

So, couple of quick recommendations; thanks for telling me some of what you're into, that always helps :) I'm going to assume you're either staying somewhere close to downtown or willing to trek into the city from outside it. A lot of people who tell me they're visiting Chicago are actually visiting Rosemont, which is a nice place but not Chicago and not super close to most of what I'll be talking about. Chicago is extremely large, and if you are staying around the O'Hare airport area (Rosemont) it will be an hour by public transit or at least $50 by rideshare/cab to get downtown.

I will say whenever I'm visiting somewhere, my first stop is always Atlas Obscura, which usually lists the really weird shit to do. :D

I've never done the Big Bus tour, but it's much nicer to do it in May than, say, December, and the people I know who've done it found it a convenient and inexpensive way to get around the city without having to deal with public transit, so while I can't personally recommend, I've only heard good things.

I know you said you weren't into architecture, but if you want to see a lot of Chicago in a very relaxed fashion, while incidentally getting some architecture knowledge, it's tough to beat the Chicago Architecture Center's boat tour. You just get on the boat, buy a drink if you want one, sit back, and drift down the river and back while someone narrates the history of Chicago architecture to you. You'll also, in May, see lots of other folks out on the river and get a real taste of Chicago's downtown scene. If you'd like to see the river without the cost of the architecture tour, I'd check out the water taxis and see if there's an opportunity to take one when going between other places you're visiting. They do a lot of tourist-destination stops.

For history, the Chicago History Museum is a natural fit and a lot of walking tours leave from the museum, although most of them are architecture :D I would also HIGHLY recommend Adam Selzer's Mysterious Chicago tours; Selzer is a very smart local historian and if you'd like to do reading ahead of time I also highly recommend his book Ghosts of Chicago. If he's offering a tour of Rose Hill or Graceland cemeteries, I'd jump on that; Graceland was my old "home" cemetery (it was literally my backyard for about a decade) and I think it's extremely interesting and beautiful. If you do go to Graceland, I can recommend Byron's nearby as a great place to get a burger, fries, Italian Beef, or a hot dog. But pretty much any tour he offers I would recommend whether I've been on it or not, he's great.

For art, again, the natural choice is the Art Institute Museum; to avoid lines, I'd recommend buying your museum ticket ahead of time and entering through the Modern Wing on Monroe Street, which is less attractive but also way less crowded than the "Lions" entrance on Michigan Avenue. I always recommend people make sure not to miss the Thorne Miniatures (they're in the basement so easy to miss, but any docent can direct you there) and the Ugliest Vase in the World. They move the vase around quite a bit, but if you check the website for the Londonderry Vase before you go, it'll tell you where to find it. Its hideousness must be seen in person. Also make sure not to miss the Chagall windows, they're off in a corner by the entrance to the cafe.

I'm not really much on music so my reccs are weaker there, but if you'd like some Chicago blues in a tourist-friendly environment, Kingston Mines is good, as is Buddy Guy's (which also has great food and is closer to downtown). If you like fried chicken, Harold's Chicken Shack is near Buddy Guy's (it's all over, it's a small chain, but that's usually the easiest one for people to find). The Chicago Symphony Orchestra is pretty great for classical music, and in the summer they often have special guests. If you like the NPR show "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me", they record live in downtown Chicago at the Fine Arts building; you usually have to buy pretty far in advance, keep an eye on tickets here.

More general recommendations: the Museum of Science and Industry is really fun, especially with kids but even without, but it's also the furthest out from downtown and can take some work to get to. Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium are both fun times, although the Shedd is kinda pricey I think. They're right next to each other though so a day doing both is convenient. If you are doing any of the museums, keep your eyes peeled for the "Mold A Rama" machines, where for $5 you can watch the machine injection-mold you a souvenir. Often the museums have custom machines for various exhibits (the Death exhibit at the Field had a skull one, for instance).

There are two train systems in Chicago: the "El" (the color-coded trains you see in movies all the time) and the Metra. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TAKE THE METRA TRAIN ANYWHERE. The Metra is a commuter rail designed for people who know how to use it, and they don't announce stops or even sometimes have signage; often the train won't stop at a platform unless it's told to during certain times of day. It is extremely easy to get extremely lost on the Metra and end up somewhere you do not want to be. If you are taking public transit, even if it seems less convenient, stick to buses and the El trains. The El and Metra run on different tracks so it's easy to avoid the Metra, but I always like to warn folks.

Okay, I think that's the highlights, minus some parks and such; I hope you have a great time! Feel free to hit me if you have questions.

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Not Your Classic Vigilante [Ch. 11]

Alternate Dimension AU TW: Language, Light Alcohol CW: OC Use, See the OC Guide [Here] Genre: Drama, Action, Angst, Light Comedy Pairing: Batfamily & Batsis!Reader, OC x Reader YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 7.4K

(11/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next] [DC Masterlist] | [Not Your Classic Vigilante Masterlist]

Notes: This has to be the fastest I've uploaded an update AHAHA also quick heads up I updated the OC Guide

Disclaimer: This series is originally by @fandom-meanderer who is a close friend of mine, but she has since fallen out of her Tumblr days and asked me to finish a few series for her, hence why I am now in ownership of the Not Your Classic Vigilante series, I hope I can still live up to her writing as I rewrite this series! (I promise not to change too much, hehe)

2015

“I’m home,” your keys hung loosely from your hands. “Hello?” Usually, you would’ve been greeted by at least Alfred. “Timmy? Cass?” Still, no response. “Well, what the fuck,” you shrugged and trudged upstairs. The manor was unnervingly quiet today, and you knew well enough that there was something amiss. Then, finally, you heard a conversation just ahead.

“I apologize if it’s a little cramped,” Alfred remarks. You stuck your head in. “Ah, Miss (Y/N), welcome home.”

“Hey, Alfred,” you looked at the child in front of you. “Huh… they get younger every year,” you crossed your arms.

“And who the hell are you?” He snarks. “A maid?”

“Oh, and he’s feisty,” you leaned against the door frame. “What’s your story then? Orphaned? Stole tires? Figured him out?” You went down the line and counted on your hands.

“Not necessarily,” your dad walks in from behind you and you jumped in your shoes.

“Hello to you too,” you rolled your eyes.

“(Y/N), this is Damian,” your father introduces him. “He’s your brother.” Your eyes widened. You looked at Damian again and, now that you really thought of it, you could see the resemblance to older pictures of your dad.

“Half brother, I’m guessing,” you added.

“Right. This will be his home from now on, help him get adjusted,” your father places the luggage in his hands down. “But, I’m not too worried about you.”

“Huh, have you told Dick yet?”

“He got here half an hour ago.”

“Oh, well, I guess I’ll clean up whatever mess happens,” you pushed off of the door now. “It’s nice to meet you, Damian, let’s get to know each other better later once you’re finished unpacking. I know a great arcade in the city you might like,” you adjusted your backpack and crossed the hall to your room. You leaned your backpack against your desk and went straight to work. The college application deadline was fast approaching and you had to be on top of it, then exam season was also following in its heels so you had to remain vigilant of that.

“So what exactly is your role, then?” Damian’s voice came behind you. You ignored the way your heart stopped from shock and turned around after taking a deep breath. You'd never get used to being snuck up on, even after having to deal with your brothers.

“Heiress. You?”

“You? Heir to what? The Batman title?” He was seated on your bed with his arms crossed.

“Oh no, no way, heiress to Wayne Industries of course,” you corrected him. “I have no intentions of doing whatever vigilante work dad or any of you usually do,” you crossed your arms and shook your head.

“You’re pulling my leg.”

“No, sir, I am not,” you nudged your head toward the desk behind you. “Plus I have more important things to worry about.”

“So you have no formal training at all?” Damian asks with heavy skepticism.

“I mean, I have basic combat skills that I learned from Dick and Jason, but that’s about it, just enough to handle my own, but not enough to do any vigilante work,” your eyes shifted to the side in thought. “Why?”

“I find it hard to believe that anyone would pass up an opportunity to become stronger.”

“I’m stronger in my own way, thank you very much,” you rolled your eyes and turned back around to your desk. “If you need anything else, just let me know. We’re siblings so I’ll always be happy to help you out,” you opened your laptop and started typing up one of your college essays. Damian didn’t respond, and when you looked back to check on him, he was gone. “They get stranger every time too…” you mumbled right as Dick sent a text to the sibling group chat.

‘THERE’S ANOTHER ONE?!’ You chuckled and shook your head.

‘Yeah.’ Tim’s response was blunt and your heart suddenly sank. Especially when just moments later his contact name appeared across your screen. You answered without hesitation.

“Hey, Timmy, what’s up?” You asked.

“Hey, sis, are you busy right now?”

“Just working on college applications, but I have plenty of time, where are you?”

“Let’s grab a coffee together, my treat! I just want someone to talk to right now.”

“Of course, Tim, I’ll be right over, our usual spot, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll save us a table. Drive safe, (Y/N).”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m heading out now, bye!”

“See you.” He hung up first and you grabbed your things before heading out of your room. Damian, meanwhile, kicked off from the wall next to your room.

“Where are you going?” He asks. You toss him a quick glance and a shrug.

“Out, why?”

“Out to patrol, right?” He presses. You shake your head.

“Nope, I already told you, I don’t do that stuff,” you walked down the stairs and he followed.

“Not even like Gordon?”

“Uh… Mr. Gordon or Babs?” You ask.

“Barbara.”

“No, I’m not too versed in tech, not on her level at least,” you grabbed your keys. “I’d invite you to join me, but I’m meeting up with Tim so maybe next time,” you tossed them in your hand now.

“For an intel report?”

“Why are you so set on me being a vigilante? I want nothing to do with that stuff, Damian,” you turned to him now. What was so hard for him to understand that you just weren’t a fighting person?

“It’s just…” Damian stops. You realized now how small he was, he couldn’t have been older than ten. “My… our father is the Batman. My mother is Talia al Ghul and yours is Selina Kyle.” Huh, he did his research. “I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re wasting your potential. Why would you choose to be ordinary when you could be extraordinary?” He asks. You hummed and crossed your arms, what a way to put your decision down and by a child no less. You didn’t know Damian well at all, you’d just met him today and here he was putting your life on blast.

“Well, I guess that’s something we’ll both find out together later, huh? I’ll see you later, Damian,” you cut the conversation off and walked down to the garage. This time, Damian didn’t follow you.

~

2022

“I’m sorry you had to come here while it’s in this state, Damian,” you grimaced. You start moving around the apartment to tidy it up at least a little, “as you can tell, we’re not usually home,” you start piling beer bottles in your arms and tossing them in the bin. “I’ll be back, their majesties call,” you said with an annoyed tone before disappearing into one of the rooms.

“It feels like I have a massive hangover,” Nixon whines as he collapses on the couch.

“I think all my ribs are broken,” Carter mutters next to him.

“It’s not a competition, boy scout,” Nixon groans. “Alex?” He looks over at him.

“Get in line,” Alex finishes up wrapping Eve’s hands with fresh bandages.

“The fact that you two can both self-heal is fucking bullshit,” Nixon cries.

“It’s actually reattachment, which is much more painful than regen,” Alex replies, “Damian, come over here, (Y/N) would kill me if she saw so much as a scratch,” he gestures to the chair and Damian sits down hesitantly. “I don’t think you remember me.”

“I don’t.”

“Blunt, much?” Nixon snickers.

“I was penpals with your sister,” he rolls the bandages over Damian’s arms. “Nothing more, we had a thousand miles between us and your sister had a reply period of two business weeks,” he rolls his eyes. “Oh, Evangeline, could you look around if we have something for the lad to eat? When was the last time he ate anything?”

“When he scarfed down my lunch two days ago,” Nixon answers.

“Has it been two days?” Alex taps his head. The time period he’s been here had gone by in a blur. He didn’t even realize it had been that long at all. Landing here on this Earth, nearly being eaten alive by god knows what, and waiting in the cold dirt floors of the regroup encampment, before finally landing here. He wondered how many people went into battle because there were only fourteen people who made it to the encampment.

“I’m not hungry,” Damian cuts in. Just thinking of the brief moment he’d seen the aftermath of the battle nearly turned his stomach inside out.

“It’s not that, Damian, look at your hands,” Alex starts opening drawers and cabinets. Damian looks down and feels his throat go dry. His hands seemed nearly transparent as if he could stick them through anything and they’d easily go through.

“Explain, now!”

“This Earth’s protective spell is rejecting you since you’re not from here, eating anything from here will bypass that spell and make it seem like you’re native,” Alex opened the fridge. One beer and one egg.

“How old are you again, Damian?” Alex asks.

“Sixteen.”

“That’s old enough,” he took the bottle and hit the cap on the counter. The cap bounced off with a quiet clink and he handed it to Damian.

“He’s a child!” Eve gasps.

“Would you like to eat a raw egg, Damian?” He asks. Damian shakes his head. “Bottoms up then,” he hands the beer bottle to him.

“Wow, you two really live like this,” Nixon groans.

“How do you still have the energy to be an asshole?” Carter asks him.

“My sister surrounded herself with idiots,” Damian says with a quarter-finished bottle of beer. Just in time for you to walk out in a cleaner uniform. You adjusted your gloves over your hand.

“Oh, you gave my baby brother a beer,” you observed. “You could’ve given him the egg, you know.”

“You broke both our pot and pan,” Alex reminds you.

“In self-defense,” you grabbed your keys off the counter. “How you holding up, kiddo, tired? Hungry?”

“Confused,” Damian watched the color return to his hands.

“Wow, you two really are siblings, huh?” Nixon asks.

“I know, you think they’re idiots, it’s fine, come on, I have to take you with me,” you nudged your head toward the door and waited for Damian to follow. “Someone already reported Damian to her majesty, she’s demanding an explanation and I have about half an hour to bullshit a good one.”

“Oh, man, she’s going to give you hell, (Y/N),” Nixon’s laugh turns into a groan of pain.

“Dumbass,” you rolled your eyes. “Come on, Damian, I’ll explain everything on the way,” you gestured for him to stand up and he did so. “Eve, do me a solid, can you warp us to the castle?”

“Of course,” she places her hand on her heart and bows slightly before waving her hand in a circular motion. A portal opens up next to her and inside Damian could see the faint traces of a regal room on the other side. 

“You head in first, Dami,” you urged him in, and, carefully, he stepped through and landed in what looked like a waiting room. He turned around and saw a distorted version of your apartment within the vortex’s walls.

“What are you going to do about him, (Y/N)?” Alex asks.

“Get him home, obviously. But not now, the royal family is watching him because some idiot reported him as a survivor,” you shook your head. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Until then, he’d going to have to act.”

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about. I'm just trying to make sure he doesn't freak out,” you said before you finally stepped through and it swirled closed. “Okay so…” you looked Damian over, “I asked his highness for a favor, you can’t go in wearing your uniform,” you brushed the ashes off of his shoulder. Then, behind you, there is a knock at the door.

“Captain? May I come in?” Calvin’s voice was only loud enough for those in the room to hear.

“Door’s open.” The prince slid in with a bundle of clothes in his hands.

“Oh, goodness, when I heard you’d brought back a child with you I didn’t think the rumors were serious,” Calvin stares at Damian for a moment longer before turning to you. “These should fit him, I think, it’s the uniform we give to the wards when they’re still training.”

“I know what these are, I usually hand them out anyway,” you shrugged. “Damian, this is His Highness the Crown Prince, Calvin Reinhart. Your Highness, this is my younger brother, Damian Wayne.”

“I see, there is a subtle aura to you both that I now understand runs in the family,” he says vaguely. You handed the clothes to Damian.

“Get changed into those, kiddo, then we’ll talk,” you nodded.

“Comfort room is just across the hall,” Calvin points in its general direction with two fingers and Damian turns to you. You just nodded your head again and he left, just barely catching the conversation behind him. “I never took you as one to pick up a ward.”

“He’s in my care for the time being and he’s interested in Knighthood.” Your voices fell silent as soon as he closed the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror for a brief moment, spotting the scars and the healed-over gashes as well as the bandages, before slipping on the fresher pair of clothes. He folded his tattered uniform carefully, the encircled R staring back at him as he walked back.

“We should have him complete a field test then, you know what people would say if you just let him in.” Damian walked into the rest of the conversation and you held your hand out. He placed his uniform on it and you pushed it carefully into a backpack that you handed to him after.

“Oh, of course, I’ll do it by the books,” you reassured him. “What should I expect walking in?”

“My father wants a full report on what happened, you can just ignore whatever chide remarks my mother sends your way though,” he says.

“And you?”

“I don’t have a say in any of this,” he sighs. He looks at Damian. “Wow, a perfect fit.”

“He’s as ready for this as any of those other kids are,” you crossed your arms.

“Are you sure? That test is difficult, I barely got through it,” he says.

“Yours was a formality, your highness,” you reminded him.

“Right, right,” Calvin nods with a knowing smile. “I’ll see you in the throne room, then,” he bids goodbye and closes the door quietly behind him.

“Look at you, handsome devil,” you rubbed his hair gently and leaned against the table in the room. “Alright, Damian, ready for your first mission on this new Earth?”

“Absolutely,” he straightens up.

“Mission one on the new Earth: Be good, blend in. Look, the royal family can’t know that you dropped from another Earth, okay? As far as they know we’ve all been born and raised here, very few people know about where the Brigade members came from. So, let’s get our story straight,” you leaned down and spoke in a quiet voice. Your eyes moved side to side to ensure that no one was listening. “Like usual, you are my younger brother. Our parents are living in the mountain regions and sent both of us down when we were teenagers to find livelihoods. I’m all done, but you’re just starting, I brought you in to live with me because you were interested in joining the Knight’s Order, and from today on you will be my apprentice,” you spoke in a steady voice and he nodded.

“Anything else I should know?”

“Don’t look into the eyes of the queen directly, she’ll know that you’re lying,” you told him. “Each member of the royal family has a special ability that has kept them in power. The King can crush your bones at the snap of his fingers, the Queen can know if you’re telling the truth with a simple glance at your eyes, and the Prince can throw anything and it’d reach it’s target. The presence of these innate abilities and the power to grant them is proof of royal blood,” you explained. “But, you don’t need to worry about all of that, hell, you don’t even have to worry about the practical exam coming up to enter as a Knight’s apprentice, at your skill level I’d promote you to the highest already,” you laughed shortly. “But, let me do all the talking in there, just observe, and if you notice something’s off, find a subtle way to tell me,” you stood up and he followed you out. You knew the layout of the castle already, having been here almost as many times as your own home, and finally you stood beyond two grandiose doors that stretched higher than Damian thought normal.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head and you opened the doors, together, you both walked into the grand throne room. Before you sat three of the most powerful people in that world and, to say the least, Damian felt the pressure in the atmosphere. It was similar to those few times when he knew his enemies out-skilled him. He found himself subconsciously moving toward you and, as if you understood, your hand pulled him closer.

“Captain,” the King spoke.

“Your Majesty,” you stopped a good distance away from the thrones, bowed your head, and put your hand to your heart. Damian followed suit.

“What is that behind you,” the Queen spat. Damian didn’t miss the annoyed look in your eyes as you looked up at the other woman.

“My younger brother, and soon to be my apprentice,” you explained.

“I see,” she relaxes into her seat. “Quite the predicament you’ve found yourself in. If he will affect your duties, dispose of him.” Damian’s fists clenched behind his back, but he said nothing.

“That won’t be a problem. You’ll soon see that he is a very capable young man.”

“Tch,” the Queen turned her nose. Damian suddenly realizes why Jason would be so pissed when he did that to him. “So he’s virtually untouchable.”

“Yes.”

“Give me news on that village,” the King cut into the conversation.

“It’s unsalvageable, Your Majesty,” You replied curtly. He shifted slightly.

“How many survivors?”

“Five…”

“Hundred?” He cut you off.

“No, your majesty. Five,” you touched your heart again. “Correction, three, not including us from the Knight’s Order.”

“My god,” the Queen shook her head. “How could your team, your special operations unit, have failed?!”

“I believe I’ve told you before, Your Majesty, there have been frequent sightings of a new and much stronger daemon in our midst. Usually, we have been able to handle these mutations, but, for reasons unknown, an entire herd of a new variant descended upon the village,” you stood your ground and continued to explain the situation, all of which Damian already knew as Eve filled him in.

“Usually?” The King’s stance straightened and the Queen’s expression grew grave.

“Father, if you’d recall, I gave you a brief report on the Brigade’s findings a few days ago,” Calvin spoke up. The King held his hand up and Calvin stopped. “Captain, you look like you’re about to say something,” he gestures toward you.

“Yes, Your Majesty, I can assure you that the Brigade has everything under control.”

“New variant?” She asks. “How long have you been dealing with these beasts before informing us?!”

“Near a year now, Your Majesty, but with much smaller variants.”

“A year?! When were you planning on reporting this?!” She shouts.

“The Brigade has had this issue under control up until now. The mutations were advancing at a slow rate until now, and thus we kept a watchful eye on them. As I said, the variant that destroyed that village is a new one. We have never seen one that advanced that far,” your voice remained firm.

It was a presence that Damian wasn’t used to. The longer he stayed here, the more he realizes how much you’ve changed. Especially now, you look just like their father. Damian’s eyes wandered to the Prince, who was silent this entire time. He was almost entirely different than when he saw him earlier, whatever warmth he thought he saw in him was replaced with a bitter coldness that matched his parents, it was almost impressive. Calvin was watching you with a strange mix of curiosity, confusion, and concern. His head rested on the palm of his hand as he tried to feign superiority, but he held a similar annoyed expression that you had, with his eyes constantly shifting to the Queen, who seemed ready to boil over with rage.

“I see,” the King tapped his foot, the sound bouncing off of the room’s walls. “Then continue doing what you’ve been doing.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Await further orders then, Captain. You are dismissed.” You bowed your head again, turned on your heel, and left, Damian following close behind with every hair at the back of his neck standing up from the stares alone.

~

“What do you mean, you can’t find him?” Dick shouts. Tim rubs his head angrily and gestures toward the screen.

“Do you see him on the radar? No? Well, neither can I!” He argues. Jason rolls his eyes.

“Stop arguing,” Bruce sighs.

“Why am I even here?” Jason grumbles. He takes his helmet. “I’m out, this is stupid. We’re wasting time using this tech, I’ll find him myself and drag him back, yeah? Maybe the kid found (Y/N) already too,” he says.

“Jason has a point, we’re getting nowhere configuring this system,” Bruce concedes.

“Jason, Bruce, wait, come on, we should make sure he’s alright, the fact that he’s not pinging here is a huge problem,” Dick reasons. Tim turns back to the bat computer and a notification pings. “Hold on, there’s some noise about a strange light in the third district, it might be something to look into.”

“Pull it up, then,” Bruce says.

“Yeah,” Tim answers. He pulls up the grainy CCTV footage, speeding through the footage to find something of interest, and once he saw the bright light he scrubbed back a few minutes, and the figure centered in it was unmistakable. They watched as Damian ran around the area, asking random people who happened to be passing by, and whatnot, then a stranger walked up to him and inaudibly told him something. Whatever he said, Damian listened carefully, before the stranger pulled out what looked similar to a pocket watch. Damian watched the pendulum move from side to side before falling to the ground. The stranger lifted him and disappeared into the alley, a bright light emitting from it, and the footage ended there.

“Shit… I should’ve known it was one of the three,” Steph frowns.

“Three?” Tim turns to her.

“You know… aliens, robots, or wizards? This has to be wizard, it’s written all over it,” she says.

“Damian was not kidnapped by wizards,” Tim drags a tired hand down his face.

“Holy shit, Damian was kidnapped by wizards?!” Jason looks up from his phone and then it was Bruce’s turn to sigh, but before the argument could continue, then a notification pings on the batcomputer and Tim was quick to navigate to it.

“Whoa… what’s that?” Jason looks at the picture on the screen.

“I think (Y/N) left it behind, I found it on her seat after I woke up,” Tim skims through the report. “Damn… no matches.”

“Looks like it belongs to a wizard,” Steph whispers, and Cass snickers.

“Wait, try cross-referencing it with the CCTV from earlier,” Dick cuts in.

“You sure?” Tim asks.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he was holding a watch.”

“It could just be a pocket watch, you know?” Jason argues.

“Who the hell carries pocket watches in the 21st century?” Steph chides.

“It’s a match!” Tim nearly jumps from his seat.

“Shit, never mind then,” Jason shrugs and Tim pulls the pocketwatch from its spot on the console. He opens it quickly.

“Take a look inside of it, I noticed that the watch face looked too peculiar,” Tim tapped it and so far, no dice. There was no reaction or movement whatsoever. Inside the watch face was a series of concentric circles that were intersected by a number of hands that extended the length of each circle’s radii.

“Yeah… uh… maybe it also reads milliseconds,” Jason hums.

“I doubt that,” Tim grimaces.

“You guys really think it’s magic?” Dick asks.

“I’m thinking more of that it could be some complicated tech that neither of us understands yet,”

And so, operation Save Damian is a go.

~

2015

“So… how’s the new kid doing?” Steph asks. You, her, Cass, and Babs sat at a cafe table, you just wanting to eat your sandwich while the three of them were extra intent on hearing the drama from you firsthand.

“Damian’s doing good, stellar, actually, like… he’s probably one of the best Robins from the get-go,” you shrugged.

“Best Robin? That’s a loaded statement,” Steph chuckled.

“I did say from the get-go. But, to be fair, Damian’s raising situation was a little different than the others.”

“Right, the al Ghuls,” Steph says with an exaggerated tone. 

“If you want to ask about Robin stuff you should ask the guys though, I’m not involved in that stuff,” you shook your head. “Like… Jesus, the kid’s only ten! I know it’s not my place to judge but… I kinda want to give him at least a bit of a childhood but he’s so…” you trailed, trying to find the right words to say.

“Bratty?” Steph asks.

“Rude?” Babs tries.

“Conceited?” Cass says before drinking her iced coffee.

“Those are a bit harsh,” you shook your head. You sighed and played with your straw for a bit. “Lonely. He seems very lonely,” you drank some of your drink, trying to ignore the hinted tension at the table now. “I don’t know… I mean, I get it, I do. He grew up to be an assassin, and he didn’t have time or the privilege to make friends, I don’t have the full story so I can’t assume, I just want him to feel comfortable,” you rest your chin on your palm.

“Takes one to know one, huh?” Cass asks.

“Yeah,” you answered absently. Then, in the blink of an eye, you smiled and shook your head. “Not that I was lonely, you know? Obviously, I had all of you, my brothers, my mom, and Alfred so I had plenty of people, and you’re all so wonderful so… I just want Damian to see that too. I get why he doesn’t want to be close with me since I’m just ordinary, but I hope at least Dick gets through to him,” you said.

“Well, Dick has a way with people so I’m sure they’ll bond somehow,” Babs nods.

“Ordinary… you’ve never used that word before,” Cass taps a finger on the table and you shook your head.

“It’s no big deal, it’s just the truth,” you shrugged. “When I first met Damian he said something interesting to me, actually,” you adjusted yourself so you were more comfortable on the metal chairs, “he brought up how our dad is Bruce Wayne, then he brought up how my mom is Selina Kyle, and he asked me why I settled to be ordinary when I could’ve been extraordinary.”

“Yeah, sis, he’s just a brat,” Steph deadpans.

“Hey now,” you shot a pointed look at her and she shrugs. “Anyway, I got to thinking about it over with Tim—”

“Aw, hell, Tim! Shit, how’d he take the news?” Steph asks. You shook your head.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but not well. Wait for him to talk to you about it though,” you told her. “But back on topic… I discussed it with Tim and he told me that of all of us, I was the most important member,” you rolled your eyes. “I didn’t buy it at first but…” you took a deep breath. “Every super family needs a civilian, right?” You finally said. Cass reached over and held your hand in hers, squeezing it with some amount of reassurance.

“You are so much more than just an ordinary civilian, (Y/N),” Steph says. “You’re our sister, through and through. Not just anyone can shut Jason up the way you do,” she adds with a short laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sure Damian is hurting right now, he needs time to open up,” Cass says.

“He’s an interesting boy, he’s so mission-driven that it surprises me,” Babs sighs. 

“Dad thinks that me taking him out is a waste,” you sighed.

“Bruce said that?” Babs masks her surprise.

“He said it in a very Bruce Wayne way, you know? I told him I’d be taking Damian with me somewhere and he would hit me with the “Again?” and ugh it just makes me angry,” you grumbled.

“Well, he was never able to control you either, so there’s probably not much he could do to stop you,” Steph says.

“Like he’d try,” you leaned back against the chair and stole a glance at your watch. “I should head back to the manor, I still have assignments,” you sighed.

“Oh, need a ride? Let’s share an Uber,” Babs says.

“Sure, yeah, how about you two?”

“I have to go on patrol,” Steph says.

“Ditto,” Cass readjusts her scarf and you nod.

“Good luck, then, stay safe,” you gave the both of them hugs before following Barbra.

“You know, (Y/N),” Barbara spoke up when you were a good distance away, “I think what you’re doing for Damian is good,” she says.

“What am I doing?”

“Giving him a chance,” she says. “You’re right, he’s still a child, even though he acts so mature, sometimes I hear a sliver of the child he is and it reminds me that normally he wouldn’t be handling these kinds of missions,” she says.

“Yeah, I always worry about him,” you shake your head.

“(Y/N), about what Tim said, he’s right, you know. You keep us in touch with our human side, I know sometimes you feel left out when you walk into our meetings, but you are an instrumental member of our family,” she continues. “Remember that, (Y/N).”

“I know, I know,” you nodded. You’d known ever since you renounced the vigilante business. The looks you got from everyone were just different, and the looks you got from people after were just as bad.

~

“Thirsty? You should drink something,” you pulled out two discs from your pocket while you and Damian walked along the castle halls. Holding the discs close together, you firmly grasped onto the handles and twisted them to open and, as you separated the discs, water gathered between them.

“Whoa…” he observes it and you hand it to him. “How do I drink this?”

“You can hold it with one hand,” you chuckled and reached over, pulling out a small sphere of water and popping it into your mouth. “We have actual water bottles, but it’s just easier to carry that around,” you said.

“Is this magic?” He copies you and pulls a small sphere of water from the middle before drinking it.

“Yup, Alex brought it from somewhere,” you answered while Damian handed the device back to you. You resealed it and put it away. “Now, today’s the entrance practical for new knights, I gotta admit that we lucked out there. Like I said earlier, I’m pretty sure you’ll pass with flying colors,” you turned him down a hallway.

“What should I expect?”

“It’s divided into two exams. The first is an obstacle course, you have to get through it within ten minutes. The second is a mock hunt, you’ll have to fight and capture a beginner-level beast,” you say. “Easy, for you, trust.” You both walked out into the training grounds, Damian shielded his eyes from the harsh sunlight while he looked around seeing knights of various backgrounds roam around. “See that building over there? The one with the green banner on it? That’s for you and the other examinees, go ahead and make yourself comfortable there for now while I meet with the others to prep the course, and, oh! One more thing Dami!”

“Yeah?”

“Be nice to the other kids, okay? Not everyone's as cool as you.” You urged him forward and you waited for him to reach the practice house before taking off yourself.

Damian opened the door cautiously, seeing boys and girls similar to his age all talking amongst themselves and preparing for the exam. 

“So the rumors are true, they let in a homeschooler?” One of the boys snarked. Damian turns to him, unamused. “Guess what, mountain boy, this exam isn’t for bumpkins like you,” he sneers.

“Oh, leave him alone, Hugo!” One of the girls grimaces. “Here, new kid, come sit with us,” she waves Damian over to a table with a few others and, remembering your words, obliges. “I’m Retta,” she introduces herself.

“Damian,” he sits next to her.

“I’m Niers!” The platinum blond boy next to him is next.

“My name’s Luciana,” the tanned girl goes next.

“And I’m Lowen,” the last boy introduces himself.

“So, is it true? You didn’t go to any of the academies?” Niers asks. Damian nods.

“Yeah, I trained… in the mountains,” he holds back a groan. Maybe you didn’t change at all, your lies were still obvious.

“That’s so crazy, I always forget there’s a whole village up there,” Niers hums. “Shoot, so you don’t know what to expect, huh?”

“I have an idea,” Damian eyes the tarts that Retta stacks on his plate.

“Eat them, they’re good for you. They have some mild stamina enhancers in them,” she smiles.

“I mean, we’ve kinda always known what the exam has,” Luciana mutters. “Lowen and I have siblings in the Knighthood already,” she says.

“Really?” Well, that’s a coincidence.

“Yeah, my older brother’s Aldryn,” Lowen says it with a slight hint of disdain. “Luci's are the twins in lab coats.”

“My older siblings! Marion'll be at the test today too, I’m so nervous,” she chews on the inside of her lip and Retta places a cookie on her plate.

“For the nerves,” she says. “No worries though, depending on how you fail you get a retest,” Retta explains.

“Is it really that difficult?” Damian asks.

“Oh, you don’t even know,” Niers shudders. “But… all of this for one reason!” He says. The four teens put their hands in the center and a blazing determination appears in their gazes. They glance at Damian, waiting for him to join in and, with a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he does so.

“To meet the Captain Wayne in the flesh!” Luciana says. Damian is taken aback for a moment.

“To meet the Captain Wayne!” The other three announce. What are the odds he gets sucked into his sister’s fan club?

‘Good grief…’ he could feel his battery draining already.

“Examinees, to the exam field,” Nixon walks in holding a clipboard. He eyes Damian but makes no other attempts at acknowledgment before leaving.

“That’s our cue! Follow us, Damian, we help each other out in this group!” Retta smiles.

“And who said I was in this group?”

“We all did now go!” Niers pushes everyone forward.

Damian listened in on all the conversations on their way to the site, trying to get a general idea of what awaited him. He’d heard many different things, but if one detail was certain, it was that the beast at the end was what they called a ‘Hamig’ whatever that was. You had mentioned to him that it was a beginner-level beast, but he still remained on his guard.

But when he saw the test site, he had to hold back a laugh. And when he spotted you walking toward the group, the eye contact alone almost made you both laugh.

You were right. This was child’s play.

“Students of the 28th class, today is your practical exam to join the Knighthood. My name is Captain (Y/N) Wayne and I oversee all the affairs of the Knighthood and the Brigade. Today myself, Nixon Jones, and Carter Adara will be observing your exams and grading you. You will know if you passed or failed as soon as you complete the exam and you are allowed one retest and one only. If you fail both of those, you will be held back to the next class practical which will happen exactly a year from now. We will be conducting the first exam now, then we’ll have a break, and finally the second part. Don’t let your guard down, and impress us. Your rankings will be given to you today as well,” you instructed. “So, who’s first?” You looked among the crowd. Damian crossed his arms, the first rule of undercover was easy, don’t stand out. He would have to observe the general skill level of everyone first just in case. “Ah, a volunteer already! Let’s see if I’m remembering correctly, Hugo Gardner?” You asked. Damian’s gaze moved over to the boy who pushed his way forward.

“That’s me, I’m glad you remember,” his bravado’s unmatched.

“Right, hard to forget you,” you smiled.

“This is Hugo’s fourth time retaking the practical,” Lowen says quietly, and Damian fights back a snort. This was the kid who tried to demean him? He couldn’t wait to see him fail the course.

And fail he did. Landing face first into the mud below because he didn’t gauge how far the next platform was.

“Gardner, back to the group, you’ll be retesting after everyone completes their exam,” Carter says.

“Whatever,” Hugo spats. “See that, mountain boy?! If I could barely get through it you could kiss this title goodbye!” He laughs. Damian glares at him and you shook your head. Not yet, it was a reminder.

Then, students came and went, students passed, and students failed, and, finally, that left Damian. He had looked over everyone’s abilities enough that he could replicate it to avoid attention, he didn’t want to make this more difficult for you, at least. He had heard a range of different times already, he’d heard eight minutes, nine minutes, eleven minutes, and more and less. The best time right now was five minutes and forty-two seconds. He could complete this in two, but he knew he shouldn’t, don’t draw attention.

“You can still drop out, mountain hobo!” Hugo’s insults were obviously forced.

Aw, whatever, Damian couldn’t resist a chance to show off against people like that. So, he stood at the starting line, and once you had blown the whistle, he took off.

The first course was simple, climbing. One jump and a strategically planned landing point had him at the top in seconds. Then, where Gardner failed, the jump to the next platform. Easy, Damian didn’t have to think of it. The next section was a series of spinning columns with various protrusions, and this one took out a lot of the cohort already, but, again, easy. The trick was to see the pattern before running in, and he’d seen it so many times already. The final part stretched over a small body of water with various buoys set up. There were many strategies for this one, such that he’d seen, either use momentum at each buoy or use them as floaters. Damian decided to do neither of those and used them as platforms instead, moving with ease among each and landing at the finish line.

“Two minutes,” Nixon clicks the stopwatch, and surprised gasps and cheers followed.

“That was crazy, Damian! Why didn’t you tell us you were that good?” Niers compliments him. “Shoot, now I feel kinda embarrassed, you’re a pro!”

“We worried for no reason,” Luci's shoulders relaxed.

“Hey, check out Hugo,” Lowen grins. Hugo had begun his retest, standing at the top of the climbing tower and staring at the platform. Be good, Damian thought of those words again. After years of living with his father, of being good, maybe this new Earth was a chance to try anew.

“Hey, Gardner!” Damian shouts. Hugo glares at him. “Focus on the platform before you jump, trust your instincts! If you’d been training for this, then you can handle it,” Damian instructs. Hugo takes a deep breath and, assumably, follows Damian’s instructions and successfully lands on the platform.

“Shouldn’t we call that out,” Nixon nudges you.

“No, I don’t think I can handle watching Hugo come in another year, he’s been working hard for this. Teamwork and trust are also tenets we emphasize,” you say. You watched Hugo continue through the course with difficulty and, once he’d reached the finish, Nixon checked the stopwatch.

“Eight minutes and seven seconds,” he calls, “congrats, Hugo, you advance to the final test,” he says. Hugo stands for a moment, catching his breath, when tears finally slipped down and his friends rushed over to him, all congratulating him on his achievement.

“You did good, kid,” you nudged Damian with your clipboard and he shrugs it off.

“Whatever…” he says. You slipped a lunch bag in his hand.

“So, let’s take a break, then we’ll complete today’s exam. Everyone who didn’t pass, don’t take it to heart, use this as a learning experience to prepare for the next exam. And those who did pass, don’t let it get to your head, the second exam is much harder,” you announced, walking past Damian as if nothing had happened.

“Damian! Come over here!” Retta calls him over again and he follows while he opened the paper bag and spotted the salad and fruits inside, and beneath it a wrapped veggie burger. Then, as he sat down, Damian felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and, if memory served him right, then your note should be sandwiched under the fruits and bingo. He reads the note in the bag, keeping his privacy about himself as he does so.

‘Why did P stick with J? Because P is butter with J! - Big Sis’ There is no Earth where that would have been funny. But, call it instinct, he flipped the note over and lo and behold, the actual message.

‘Hey Dami, the lunch they’re serving is boar roast and, obviously, you can’t eat that, so I had my assistant run and grab you these. They might taste a little different than what you’re used to, though, just keep an open mind.’ 

Keep an open mind? Damian pulled the salad out, eyeing the purple lettuce and pink spinach.

Oh.

~

As soon as the elevator doors opened, you walked straight forward, stopping in front of the cage with the beast inside, still standing, and still looming, but still silent. You looked at it carefully, going over all the details with a new understanding.

“Hello, old friend,” you crossed your arms and the beast seemed to bow its head. Unable to speak, it raises it now, exposing the dog tags melted into its fur. You looked at the protective circles around it, stepping through them carefully to approach the cage and, just barely, you could just barely make out the name on it.

‘CK - 78’ was engraved on it. Whoever this was, they weren’t part of the Knighthood.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are,” you backed away from the cage and the beast whimpered, lowering to the ground and lying there peacefully.

“Captain,” you look over your shoulder and watch the two twin scientists enter.

“That’s the most relaxed it’s been,” Inigo speaks up.

“All day, every day, that thing snarls at me and snaps at whoever nears it. It likes you, Cap, I don’t know why though,” Marion shakes her head.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Mary,” you lied. Again, you looked at the beast, who watched you with one eye.

“Pitiful creature, if we weren’t studying it then I would’ve put it out of his misery,” Inigo shoves his hands into his lab coat pockets. “So, what can we help you with, Cap?”

“Just looking, there’s something that’s been bothering me since the last attack,” you crossed your arms. “The report said that this beast displayed an unparalleled strength, and after dealing with similar variants I can confirm that,” you looked over the beast again.

“We’ve been trying to heal the wounds too,” Marion says, “it won’t let us get close.”

“The beast is guarded, most wild beasts are,” you nodded. “Well, keep up the good work, it’s about time I proctored the second exam,” you looked at your watch.

“Damn, that time of the year already? Cut 'em some slack, Cap.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved your hand and left the room, hearing the beast stand up behind you with sounds of metal hitting the cage to prove it.

Not Your Classic Vigilante: @gabytodd @peachydokii @marshmallow12435 @f0leysgurl @luminaaz @lolsnack @akuri-shinsou @pansinspace @time-shardz @lovely-maryj @urminebutidontwantyou @y3oudsc 

[nothankyoudear]

London book shop recommendations?

Summary: A.Z. Fell and Co. is recommended as a local London bookshop on a Reddit post. Chaos ensues when someone actually takes the recommendation and goes there, only to find that: 1. They don't get to buy books 2. The gentle bookshop owner apparently owns a giant python And 3. The bookshop owner is 100% in love with his best friend with the sunglasses OR Ineffable Husbands told through Reddit posts.

stupid little fic i wrote. thought it'd be funny to post on tumblr bc its formatted like reddit... social mediaception?

anyways, also on my ao3, nothankyoudear.

Enjoy!

r/books

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

London book shop recommendations?

Hi everyone! Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but I just moved to London and I'd like to support some of the more local book shops that are around here! Any good suggestions?

EDIT: Thank you for all the suggestions! I will definitely be checking them out :)

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buttscotchzzz · 2 yrs. ago Are you looking to actually take home the books?    

       SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago        yes... I think that's the purpose of bookshops?

             buttscotchzzz · 2 yrs. ago               Yes, obviously, sorry. I just live close to this book store called A.Z. Fell & Co, and it's the loveliest place. It's very cosy and the collection of books there is honestly unbelievable (I think  there are some texts dating back to the 16th century? Not sure why those are in a book shop instead of a museum). The owner is a lovely man too, but he refuses to sell his books. Not sure why.

              Yeah so, for looking around and sitting?? Fantastic place. Actually purchasing books?? Probably not so much.

                   SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago                     No apology needed, sorry if I came off too harsh :) Sounds wonderfully strange!! I'll make sure to check it out (even if I won't get to take any of the books back home lol)

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r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

Strange soho bookshop that doesn't sell books?

Hello! I've recently been recommended this bookshop called "A.Z. Fell & Co" in Soho. It's quite nice but also... Kinda weird? Not sure how to describe it. So I know it might be quite niche, but I just wanted to know if anyone knows anything about it? 

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DollieDollie · 2 yrs. ago Lived in Soho all my life. The shop is kinda infamous with the locals because nobody knows what the hell is going on with it. Weird as hell opening and closing hours too.

       Miriiriram · 2 yrs. ago        I live in Covent Garden and I've also heard some stuff about the bookshop. Never been able to figure out how the man keeps his shop open in central Soho since there's no way he's turning a profit - It's been here for as long as I can remember though. 

             SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago              Huh, how weird. Well, the shop owner seems nice so I'll keep digging! 

---------------

r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

Update on strange soho bookshop that doesn't sell books

Hi everyone! Me again. Not sure if anyone is still keeping up, but I've had a few more trips to "A.Z. Fell & Co" and here are my experiences:

- I've had some people mention weird opening and closing hours, and from what I can tell that is 100% true. The sign at the front door almost melted my brain, but I've figured out the timings pretty good by now.

- The books kept there are very very strange. From what I can tell, most of them are published before the 1930s, and I swear I've seen some ancient texts around... I did find this one book with some pictures of earth and space though, so that's pretty cool.

- Nearly no one comes into the shop! Foot traffic outside is crazy, but every time I've been inside, I'm always the only one there. I understand that bookshops aren't the most interesting things around, but it's still a shop in the smack dab middle of Soho, so the pure emptiness of it is a little weird (take a shot every time I say weird or strange in this post lol)

- Mr Fell, the shop owner, is very very lovely!! There was this one time when I just sat and read for what must be hours, and he didn't even bat an eye - even offered me tea! We sat down, had a little chat about Jane Austen, and I could really tell that he is really passionate about his books - couldn't stop smiling and everything.

He did mumble something weird about Jane Austen being a spy, however, so still quite a weird fellow.

- Mr Fell still doesn't sell books. I asked him the first time I came into the store for some books and he said no, but I just assumed it was maybe because I didn't know him well enough? Anyways I asked him again and he just stared at me like I just asked to take his firstborn. So no luck on that yet.

- I think Mr Fell has a partner but I'm not quite sure about it. There's this man called Crowley that seems to be the only other person that comes into the bookshop, and he's got what is possibly the coolest sense of fashion in the world - I'm talking full two-piece suit, sunglasses on indoors, and bright red hair. Not ginger hair, RED hair. 

Mr Fell calls Crowley "My dear" and Crowley calls him "Angel". They act like an old married couple, bickering and everything, but I really don't wanna assume so... 

That's pretty much all I can think of off the top of my head, I think. I'll keep you guys updated (if anyone is still reading lol) if I find something new!

PS. unrelated but there's this coffee shop that's really nice - "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death", just across the street from the bookshop. Really good coffee if anyone is looking for a drink!

EDIT: Okay well, this post blew up more than I expected. Good to see that other people are also strangely obsessed with this little bookshop lol! Thanks for the awards and I'll definitely keep you guys updated!!!

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r/snakes

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 year ago

Does anyone know what this snake is?

Found this GIANT snake on the floor of a bookshop!!! Does anyone know the species or anything?? 

[Attachment: 1]

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SSssssBoys· 1 yr. agoOh my god that thing is huge! You found it on the floor of a BOOKSHOP?

       SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago        Yes!!! Crazy right?? I think it must've snuck in or smth because I'm a regular at the shop and I've never seen it before. Is it venomous????

             liveweire837· 1 yr. ago              Purely based on the size it has to be a ball python or an anaconda - Can't really tell from the photo quality. Neither are venomous but are still dangerous. Call animal control ASAP.

                   SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago                      Sorry for the quality - I was a little busy screaming lol. But the store owner just came out and told me that it's apparently his pet? I knew some people keep snakes for pets but I've never seen them in real life, so huge too! Anyways thank you for the advice! :D ---------------

r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 year ago

Update on "A.Z. Fell & Co"

Hello, I'm back with some more news! 

- First news: Mr Fell has given me his first name! I asked him what A. Z. stood for, and he thought for a while like he doesn't know his first name? Anyways his name is Azira, which I think is quite a cool name.

I tried looking him up on Google but nothing came up, so I tried asking him for his middle name and he got this weirdly panicked look on his face. I didn't push it further because he was turning a little red trying to think. 

- Mr Fell owns a giant snake. I think he's some sort of Python? Not quite sure about it yet. His name is Crawly (ha, like Crowley) and I found him on the floor one morning - gave me the fright of my life! Anyways, he's cute but he has this weirdly human look in his eyes sometimes. He also really likes curling himself next to or just on Mr Fell - didn't know snakes could be clingy lol. Sometimes I feel like I'm intruding on the two of them, which is kinda crazy because one of them is literally a snake.

- Crowley is still coming into the shop fairly often, and he's still just as intimidating as ever. He does, however, do this thing where he kinda melts when he talks to Mr Fell. Kinda hard to explain but you can really tell the difference in his body language. I can't see his eyes because of the sunglasses, but I swear they go soft and everything.

Maybe they're dating, maybe they're not. All I know is that when I ask Mr Fell about Crowley, he talks about him like how he talks about Jane Austen books.

- I've finally managed to lend (heavy focus on the word LEND) a book!! Returned in perfect condition :)

That's all I have for now! Will continue to update if anything else interesting comes up.

EDIT 1: Some people didn't believe in the whole snake shenanigan, which I completely understand (sounds ridiculous to myself too), but I've attached a picture of Crawly just as proof. You can see him curled up next to Mr Fell, which I still think is pretty cute.

[Attachment: 1]

EDIT 2: I've asked Mr Fell (in a very awkward conversation), and Crowley is in fact not his partner. I know people have been debating in the comments but Mr Fell says they're just best friends. Will investigate further on the matter.

EDIT 3: I've asked Mr Fell and Crowley if they mind me posting about them, and I am proud to say that I now have the official go ahead from the both of them to post updates. I've also made a subreddit since I feel bad spamming r/London with nothing but A.Z. Fell & Co content lol. I'll be posting future updates at r/AZFellAndCo :)

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PollyPirate · 1 yr. agoEveryone in agreement that there's definitely some HEAVY pining going on between Mr Fell and Crowley say aye

       WonderfulWorld· 1 yr. ago        aye

             cooliosoolio23 · 1 yr. ago              AYE

                  nothankyou845 · 1 yr. ago                   aye > 56 more replies

peanutbutternnut · 1 yr. ago a bookseller named azira w/ a fucking python sounds like a video game character. badass as hell

       SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago        He's actually kind of the opposite of badass - dresses like he just stepped out of the Victorian era. He's got a bowtie and everything! 

                peanutbutternnut · 1 yr. ago                  even MORE badass

                         Lilypadwfrog · 1 yr. ago                           wait so mr fell is dressed like a gentleman from the victorian era, and crowley is dressed like an 80s fashion icon??? literally the most blatant example of opposites attract i've ever seen. next thing i know you'll be telling me that they have contrasting colour palettes LMAO                                  SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago                                   You're not gonna believe this lol

HmmmmMMmM· 1 yr. ago "He talks about him like how he talks about Jane Austen books." BRO ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/Mimimeow 1 year ago

Has anyone actually visited A. Z. Fell & Co. ?

Basically just the title. I keep seeing posts about people trying to visit the store but always getting 'interrupted' by one thing or another. Has anyone actually managed to visit the place other than SadLittleJay?

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mirandapanda · 1 yr ago I was one of the people who got 'interrupted' on their way there. I found a little kitten on the side of the road and just couldn't leave her there, so I took her to the vet instead. Not too fussed about it though, since now it helped me meet the absolute love of my life, Luna.

[Link]

      Mimimeow OP · 1 yr ago       oh my god SHE'S SO CUTE 😭 Maybe I'll try visiting the bookshop so I can get a cat

      Edit: Holy fucking shit ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/AnthonyJC 9 months ago

Why do people think they're in love It's all people are talking about. Can someone explain this. 

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Sort By: Best MillieRockers96· 9 mo ago well i mean,,, mr fell talks about crowley like he talks about books (which i think r basically his life and soul), and from the last update we got crowley was literally giving mr fell houseplants in what i can only say is domestic hell. if u see some videos of them u can also see that they look at each other like the other one's the sun when the other not watching, so yeah we're pretty sure they're in love just INCREDIBLY oblivious

                Lilypadwfrog ·9 mo ago                 100% in love. also talking about the whole "he talks about crowley like he talks about books", its lowkey crazy how much mr fell talks about crowley. like that man NEVER stops i think. but honestly just give the pinned post a look and you'll get it. 

                           AnthonyJC OP· 9 mo ago                             Oh ---------------

r/AskReddit 

Posted by u/porlrlrlr 2 months ago What are some of the weirdest things that you've seen on reddit?

Very broad and basic question, but I'm bored and need temporary fulfilment

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yeahsolikeuhh · 2 mo ago A while back there was this bookshop that blew up because of a reddit post. Apparently the shop's been around for three hundred years or something, and apparently had shit like the first edition of the Great Gatsby and stuff trailing back to the 16th century or something - But that's not even the weird part.

People tried to visit the bookshop because of the popularity obviously, but every time they try, stuff just happens at random and it never happens. Everyone knows the bookshop is there, but no one except OP for that first reddit post has ever actually managed to get in. Sometimes they find a stray cat and get distracted, sometimes a giant storm just instantaneously starts, but literally ZERO people have gotten into that book shop except for OP.

The bookshop owner is called AZIRA (not fucking kidding), with a pet python (also not fucking kidding), who is also apparently dressed like he came out of the Victorian era (still not fucking kidding). Now I'm not saying he's a wizard, but I'm pretty damn sure he's a fucking wizard.

Also apparently he's also in love with his best friend and there's this huge pining thing happening the last time I checked, but I think OP stopped updating a while back so yeah. 

        Cauliflourpanfried· 2 mo ago         Holy shit I completely forgot about that. Genuinely the weirdest shit. Hope they finally got their shit sorted and at least kissed or smth tho. ---------------

r/IAmA

Posted by u/MrAziraFell 6 days ago

I am Azira Fell, the owner of A.Z. Fell & Co. A sk Me Anything!

Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing well. I am Azira Fell and I happen to own A.Z. Fell & Co. I've recently been informed of just how popular my bookshop has become, so here I am! Here is a picture of me, Crawly, and this sign I made for proof.

I'm still not very good at technology, so I truly do apologise for the slow responses. I will try my best :)

- AZF

Edit: Thank you for all your questions! As much as I'd love to just sit and chat with all of you, I still have the calls of thousands of wonderful books to tend to. I hope you all have a lovely day :)

- AZF

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monsteriaLoe· 6 days ago Are you aware of the weird phenomenon where, when someone tries to come to your shop, they always seem to get distracted or pulled away by another thing? And, being completely honest, were you involved in any of these? I understand the question sounds silly, but it's just so strange that I have to ask.

        MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago         Thank you for the question! And it's not silly at all. I actually was not aware of this until today! And if I had the ability to summon stray cats at will, my bookshop would already be overwhelmed with kittens.

        I suppose it must just simply be some sort of magic, or maybe even a miracle ;) - AZF

PollyPirate · 6 days ago Are you and Crowley finally together???? (feel free to not answer if it really is too personal or anything like that)

        MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago         Hello, Polly! Thank you for being so considerate. In short, yes we are together now. Now looking back on it, I suppose it was a little silly that we waited that long to be together. Well, that's all over now, and Crowley and I are as happy as ever - AZF

              PollyPirate· 6 days ago              OMG

                     JooolyRancher· 6 days ago                      Congratulations! What made you guys take the last step, if I may ask?

                                MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago                                 Well, it's actually quite funny since apparently Crowley had found the subreddit (I believe that is what it's called) that Jay had made while looking for the bookshop on the Internet, saw the posts that all of you made about us being obliviously in love with the other, and finally decided to tell me how he truly felt. So, if I have to be honest, it was all of you that helped us take the last step, and I am very grateful for that :) - AZF

                                        cooliosoolio23· 6 days ago                                        ok well now im crying

wormieboyyyyyy · 6 days ago Why don't you sell your books? Also do you have a favourite? (a favourite book I mean)         MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago         Well those two questions actually are quite interlinked, if I do say so myself. My answer to the first is because I simply love them all too much, and can't bear to part with them. My answer to the second is also I simply love them all too much, so I cannot pick just one. I do, however, especially adore the work of Terry Pratchett. - AZF

                wormieboyyyyyy · 6 days ago                 Ain't that the truth. Have you ever thought of selling a book, tho? Like ever? You do run a bookshop.

                        MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago                         Well.... I suppose I could sell just one. - AZF ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 day ago

Oh my god

MR FELL SOLD ME A BOOK!!!!!!! 

[Attachment: 1]

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[dutchdread]

Rebirth Update 10b

The crappiness of the Cait Sith (whom I still don't like in general btw) segment was easily forgotten though by the gold saucer date. I had refrained from listening to Aeriths song prior to the game since I didn't want anything spoiled and wanted the song in context, and now that I've heard it, man is it clearly about Zack. I can't wait to finish the game and watch different variations of certain scenes, because I don't see any way that anyone can look at a game that has this in it and still think Cloud and Tifa aren't the canonical ship. Again Cloud and Tifa are framed together opposed to Aerith, almost never is it that Aerith and Tifa are presented as being mirrorings that Cloud has to choose between. It's always Cloud and Tifa as a single unit being pitted "against" Aerith. Signaling that Aerith is helping them, and they her. Since you can essentially go on a date with everyone, and it all depends on their feelings towards you, we can say that the dates essentially tell us something about Clouds relationship dynamic in regards to the other team members. And Tifas date makes it exceptionally clear that their relationship dynamic is that of a young couple in love, come together again after years and slowly growing closer. My guess is that his date with Aerith will be more spiritual and about healing, but until I see it I can only guess. And I can't wait to see the other ones. Man, I am sure I've forgotten a bunch that I wanted to mention. It comes as I play but with 10 hour sessions a lot of it is lost to time. Will probably slow down a bit now, I've been working towards this part and man I am kinda burnt out with all the side quests and I just got a few new ones.... One thing I can't help wondering about though. How must it feel for a Clerith to play this game? I can't imagine the mental gymnastics needed to not go "...oh damn... I was wrong". I do feel a bit sorry for them though. I remember 20 years ago explaining to people that Tifa was the more valid love interest was such an uphill battle. It required so much analysis and explanation because you were just swimming up stream, going against the grain, all those nice little analogies, it was sooooo exhausting. And then for 20+ years it was just material after material confirming what Clotis had been saying from day one. And the Cleriths just had to keep moving goalposts, keep spinning, slowly driven into a corner to where now we don't just have the deeper analysis to point at, but even just the superficially obvious. As someone who always enjoys arguing for positions that are unpopular because they're not obvious, but are nevertheless true, it's honestly been a joy to watch the public perception change this much. Lets hope part 3 continues the good work, but honestly, it kinda has to, what has happened in part 2 really can't be taken back. Any romance between Aerith and Cloud after this would be....well, problematic and icky would probably be the best words. One more thing, having Cloud say very matter-of-factly "oh yeah, Zack, my friend who is totally head over heels for Aerith was satisfying. I don't see jealousy there, I don't see conflicted feelings there, I don't see a man who is thinking about trying to hit on the girl his friend loves there. Cloud knows about Zack and Aerith, Aerith knows about Cloud and Tifa, they're all helping each other with those issues, not coming between them, it, my friends, is over.

[mikakeya]

Lucky Wednesday

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,660

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: You fell for Bucky Barnes as he dined in the restaurant you work at - Izzy's. You decide to call him up to ask him out on a date as it leads to everything you've ever imagined it to be and more.

A/N: This is the Bucky apology fic that I've been writing after publishing my 'Hello, I'm Back' Announcement and Update Post. I hope you guys enjoy it because I certainly do. I love how sweet I portrayed Bucky to be and it is slightly canon to what happened in TFATWS. Here's to me wishing this can actually happen so that I can manifest shifting and have a normal relationship with James Bucky Barnes. The 'Steve Rogers Bday 4th of July' fic will have to wait, I'm so sorry but it's past 12am my time and I'm tired so I'm going to retire. Goodnight :))

"Hello, can I speak to James Barnes? O-oh, hey, how are you doing uh...I feel kinda silly doing this but uh, this is Y/N, the waitress from Izzy's. You know the one w- well the only waitress." You picked up the phone after your shift ended at 10 and called Bucky's number after saving it that one time from when he called about a delivery.

Well, that's at least what happened yesterday after you finished your shift at 10 like you always do. For some reason, you actually had the guts to pick up the phone and call him. At least that was better than telling it to him in person and embarrassing yourself knowing how red your cheeks would have gotten from the feeling of being flustered.

Ever since Bucky walked into Izzy's and you laid eyes on him, you couldn't help but feel a sort of luring attraction about him. Something was telling you that this man had gone through a lot and indeed he has since you recently came into contact with Sam Wilson - The Falcon as he entered Izzy's and asked if Bucky had entered here. One thing led to another from Sam wanting to know the whereabouts of Bucky's location to you wanting to learn everything you can about Bucky before asking him out on a date.

So that's how you knew what you needed to know about Bucky as Sam gave you a pep talk to ask him out while warning you about how he's a "grumpy and lonely staring machine".

You felt bad for the man honestly after all he's been through. Most people would probably have a hard time trying to see past the wrongs that Bucky did but you were able to accept him as he is instead of holding him accountable for what he did.

Anyways, jumping back to the present moment where you were still working and trying to pass the time by putting your head in the game as you served your customers while cleaning up the bar as well. A few hours passed before you know it and because there wasn't anyone left in Izzy's, you decided to close up early and clean up the restaurant before calling for a pizza delivery.

You headed into the back of the house restaurant passing through a 'Noren Curtain' which separates it from the rest of the restaurant where the customers dine as you changed into something presentable and did your hair up into a loose bun with your hair feelers framing your face.

You heard the bell hanging on the front door go off as you peeked your head out from behind the Noren Curtain before landing your eyes on Bucky as you smiled at him and headed out.

"Hey- wow... that's like the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone has done." You greeted him before seeing the bouquet of flowers and chuckling softly to yourself as you made a comment about it before taking the flowers from him, "Thank you Bucky."

You smelled the flowers and placed them in a vase on the bar where Bucky would usually sit.

"Just grab a seat and I'll be done in a few. I'm just cleaning up the place and setting it for whoever's opening tomorrow." You continue to clean the tables before bringing whatever needed to be brought back behind the Noren Curtain as Bucky nodded and sat down by the bar.

Just then there was a knock on the door as you told Bucky to get it, "Bucky, do you think you can get that please?"

Bucky got up from his seat and went to the door as he opened it and collected a box of pizzas, "Hey um did you order pizzas by any chance?"

"Yep, I did, just place them on the bar." You came back out with beers in your hands before placing them on the bar as well as you opened two - one for yourself and one for Bucky before placing it in front of him.

The date went as normally as it could with you joking about how old Bucky is since you found out about it from Sam. You did tell Bucky that Sam was looking for him to which his expression turned from a smile to a frown. You apologised for ruining the mood not sure if he was trying to avoid Sam in general or just upset with him altogether.

You described the date to yourself as perfect however as it went from beers and pizzas to a game night as you kept games on the shelf for when the shifts got a little too boring.

You were both playing Battleship which is a favourite game of yours as you exchanged conversations along the way while getting to know one another. Bucky did however have to drink the remainder of the 3rd beer bottle he had as you won the game before you called it quits since it was getting pretty late already. You kept the game and cleared out the pizza box as well as the beer bottles before wiping down the bar counter.

You took your things from the room hidden behind the Noren Curtain as you came back out and found Bucky waiting for you with cash in his hand as you tilted your head unsure of what his intentions were with the cash in his hand.

"Oh it's for the pizza and the beer earlier on-" Bucky read the expression on your face and assumed what you were questioning about in your thoughts as you cut him off.

"That's fine. it's okay, really, you don't have to pay for it."

Bucky nods and walks towards you as he places the cash in your bag pocket before looking at you as your faces were close to one another, "Keep it, I insist."

You nodded and smiled at Bucky as you went to take the flowers he gave you earlier on. He left the shop first waiting outside for you as you turned off the lights and walked out of Izzy's before locking up the restaurant.

Bucky offered his hand for you to take as you wrapped an arm around his arm. He asked for your address as you told him where you lived before he proceeded to walk you back home. You both talked more about each other as giggles and chuckles were shared between the two of you.

After some time, the two of you approached your front door after taking the lift up to your level in the building. You opened your front door before turning around to face Bucky as he took your hand in his and kissed it. You smiled feeling really happy about how the date went and blushed a little.

"Thank you for tonight, Y/N. I really appreciate it. I would like to have a second date with you but it's just- everything's just uh- j-just uh..." Bucky trailed off as he felt your hand touching his arm and making its way higher up as he got distracted from what he was saying.

You nod and tried to comfort him with your touching as you explained to him, "I understand. Everything's messy right now and I would love to have that second date with you as well but if you need some time then I'm okay with that."

You smile at Bucky before tiptoeing and kissing his cheek as you balanced yourself from holding onto his arm. As you pulled back, however, he pulled you in for a gentle kiss that left you melting into it as you've been wanting to do that after your second bottle of beer seeing as your alcohol tolerance isn't that high to begin with.

You pulled away from the kiss slowly while blushing and looking flustered while slightly tipsy as you smiled sheepishly before yawning.

"Alright doll, let's get you into bed then..." Bucky chuckled as he picked you up and walked into your apartment before shutting the front door with his leg.

You held on to Bucky with your bag still slung around you and flowers still in your hands as you gently buried and nuzzled your face into his neck before closing your eyes and falling asleep.

Bucky carried you into your room before placing you down gently onto your bed as he carefully and cautiously removed your sachel without waking you up as he placed it on the ground next to your bedside table. He took the flowers still in the grasp of your palm as he went to find a vase or any holder to put it in before filling it up with water so the flowers last longer.

Bucky came back into your room to turn the fan on for you as he looked between you and the fan to see if its noise would wake you up before discovering how much of a dead sleeper you are. He smiled and chuckled softly to himself before removing your shoes and placing them on the floor as he tucked you in under your blanket which you snuggled into and held on to it while stirring slightly.

Bucky kissed your head before taking your shoes and placing them by your main door. He noticed a pair of fluffy slippers and smiled as he took the slippers and went back into your room placing them by the side of your bed for you. He took your phone from your sachel before keying his number into it and putting a cute name for himself in your contacts as he plugged it into the cable and left it on your nightstand.

Bucky kissed your head once more before leaving your apartment as he sighed. He knows that you're an ordinary civilian and you're practically too perfect for him but he'll keep to his word on calling you for that second date the moment he figures out how to solve whatever he's going through in life.

[arkhamsrevenge]

I saw you wanted some requests and I've been thinking about this one for awhile. Imagine Dick Greyson discovering you smoking again, after being a few years sober, due to a mission going wrong

I got a little carried away. I hope you enjoy!

Worried Sober

You dragged the cancer stick from your mouth and blow out smoke. It's been 10 years since you've been sober, hell 10 years since you wanted a cigarette. It's cold tonight, actually it seemed a lot colder tonight than usual.

"Thought you didn't smoke anymore." You didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"I don't. One time thing." You replied. Soon arms came into view. Dick Grayson, the first Robin, your first teammate and your first friend stood beside you. His face stayed blank but his eyes told another story. He was concerned, you didn't know if it was for you or Jason. "It's just to keep my mind off things for a second." You croaked and took another drag.

"He's fine." You're eyes flickered to Dick who was doing his best to try and convince you of that. For the past 2 hours that's all everyone's been saying and it's driving you crazy. They're acting so optimistic it's sickening. You grit you're teeth trying to stop yourself from snapping back. "Here, give me the-" Dick started to reach for your cigarette only to have you pull farther away from him. His face softened. "He's fine. I pr-"

"You can't promise me that. Don't promise me that." You growled, you're voice cracking slightly. You felt tears starting to form. "You promised me he'd be fine 15 years ago." Dick let his arm fall to his side. "You lied to me for 5 of those years. Telling me he was off somewhere in another country focusing on his education. That Bruce sent him to a very prestigious school you can't pronounce and Bruce has been giving you weekly updates that Jason's ok. When the whole fucking time he was DEAD! DEAD DICK! GONE. Why the fuck did you keep me hoping he'd come back?" The tears were falling free now. You're voice had gone completely horse. Dick's eyes lowered.

"I didn't know how to tell you he was gone." The first Robin whispered. "I didn't tell you he was dead to protect you. How do I tell someone who I see everyday that her best friend is dead?" You paused, tears still running down your face.

"Y/N, Jason's dead. He died in an explosion that the Joker rigged. That's how Dick." You could see the cogs turning in his head; trying to think what to say next.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you, but Jason wouldnt want you coping by falling back into old bad habits." You scoffed.

"I don't need your apology. I needed you to tell me the truth. You all got to mourn, I didn't. You all went through the 5 stages of grief, I never did. When Jason came back I acted mad at him because I thought he left for 5 years! And then, then, everyone was upset with me when I didn't want anything to do with you because you lied. Oh forgive Dick, he was mourning the loss of this brother. He did what he thought was best for you. All he wanted to do was protect you. I don't need anyone protecting me. I can't handle myself. That being said, dont you dare try to guilt trip me by using Jason. I dont give a fuck what anyone wants, it my fucking body. If I want to have a cigarette then fuck off and let me." You were breathing heavy by the time you finished your rant. Dick just stared at you.

"Feel better?" He asked. You're temper was beyond seething. Flicking the cigarette over the balcony, he pushed past him and walked back into the manner. You heard Dick running after you. "I'm sorry, ok? I just wanted to cut the tension. I'm not good in tense situations you know that." You continued to ignore him as you made your way to your room Alfred insited you stay in. You sat on your bed and dug through your bag looking for you pack of cigarettes.

"I took them." You're breath caught in your throat. You knew that voice, that deep gruff voice that haunted you for years. You felt frozen but somehow managed to turn around to face the man holding your cigarettes hostage. There in the doorway was Jason Todd, holding your pack if cigarettes in his scared up hands. Dick Grayson, the man you just screamed at for twenty minutes was leaning on Jason's shoulder with his elbow. You bit your cheek and slowly stood up making your way over to the mountain of a man. You had to crane you're neck to see him once you were close enough. You hadn't been this close to him in a month at least. Your heart was pulsing in your ears. Jason's brow furrowed with worry for a second making you think he can hear how fast your hearts racing. You look him over for a second, seeing if there are any visible injuries. He had a few scratches definitely some brusies and he's standing so he couldn't be in that much pain. Looking back into his once blue now green eyes, you reached for the pack of cigarettes only to have Jason pull them away. You reached again and he pulled away. Jason did this to you about three more times, a smirk forming on his face. "I thought you were asthmatic." Jason's deep voice rumbled in his chest. You grit your teeth.

"I am. Now give." You say trying to get your cigarette box, your were angry before and now your annoyed. You should be happy to see Jason alive and healthy. For fuck sake, you're the one who saved him from another deadly encounter. Jason was staking out one of Crane's warehouses and went in guns a blazing. If you hadn't been there with a mash carrying the antidote needed to reverse the affects, Jason would have gotten beat to death again the way Crane's goons were hitting him. But right in this moment you're so mad and upset with Dick for lying to you that all you wanted to do was smoke. You weren't hurting anyone else, just yourself.

"Your lungs already have a hard time working, giving them smoke is only gonna make it worse." Jason said still keeping the box out of reach from you, who has resorted to jumping up to try and get the box. You swear he's just trying to embarrass or make you very aware of you size compared to him.

"Just. Give. Me. Them." You say jumping with each word. Suddenly, your chest tightened. You stopped jumping to try and catch your breath. You know this feeling, it's all to familiar for you. You were having an asthma attack. You needed to take your inhaler but your pride was refusing you to do so. "Fine. Take them." You try to hide that your out of breathe. "Leave." You knew they both weren't stupid, they were raised by the world's greatest detective. You wouldn't just conside like that without a reason. You try to take a deep breath but failed. You felt like you were breathing through a straw. Still you waited for Jason and Dick to leave, your vision was starting to go, the lack of oxygen was getting to you, making you head go fuzzy. The former Robins started you down as if waiting for you to break. "Leave." You repeated softly. Both men's eyes widened. Shit they knew. Your strained voice gave you away as did your knees when they buckled. Jason caught you fast and guided you to the ground while Dick pulled out your inhaler from his pocket. He held it up to your lips but still you kept them shut.

"Take the fucking inhaler!" Dick shouted panicked. Both men cursed themselves for not catching on sooner. Reluctantly, you opened you mouth and breathed in twice. Soon your chest unwound and you were breathing normally. All you energy had depleted. You had forgotten how shitty your asthma attacks made you feel. All three of you sat in silence for a bit. You became hyper aware that were basically laying on Jason. You felt yourself start to blush and started to pull yourself to you feet. Jason still guiding you until you were fully standing. Both men loomed at you as if they were waiting for you to break down or collapse again. Without a word you repacked your bag and zipped it up. You took a deep breath finally feeling it fully and started to head for the door. You slunk past Jason and Dick, making you way down the manner staircase wanting to leave.

"Where are you going?" Dick asked.

"Back to my apartment. Jason's back safe, I saw him, he looks fine, I'm going." You say not bothering to look back. You didn't want to look at their faces. Knowing Dick had your inhaler ready just incase confirmed he still cares. You were embarrassed by your put burst because of you worry for Jason and the fact that you had an asthma attack after the out burst try to get you cigarettes back after being 10 yeats sober was also making you embarrassed.

"Ms. L/N perhaps you can wait till tomorrow. I made turkey with mashed sweet potatoes and mixed vegetables." Your hand stays on the door handle, Alfred always makes you hesitant. "Mashed sweet potatoes with toasted marshmallows on top." You still stayed still. "And lemon cakes for dessert." Slowly you removed your hand from the door handle and turned back to Alfred who offered you a hand. "Just leave your bag by the door for now Ms. come have some dinner with everyone." You let the stap of your bag slide off your shoulder, you then placed it on the floor and took Alfred's hand. He beckond Dick and Jason who had remained on the stairwell trying to think of ways to keep you from leaving. Both men shared a glance and met you eyes again back cautiously making their way down the stairs. Alfred then lead everyone to the kitchen to enjoy an nice meal after quit a night. You sat down at the grand table, Jason and Dick took either side of you. Tim, Babs, Damien and Bruce had already beat you, Jason and Dick there. Everyone ate in a calming silence for a few minutes. You kept your eyes down but saw Jason and Dick sharing glances out of you peripheral vision. Finally you spoke.

"Throw them out for me, would ya?" You turned to Jason who nodded.

"What is Todd throwing out?" Damien asked.

"Just something rotten." Dick answered. You nodded in agreement and continued to eat. With the tension gone, everyone enjoyed their meal a little more relaxed.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All right, this is my post about John Oliver’s appearance on Russell Howard’s podcast that’s going to get way more detailed about the Chocolate Milk Gang than anyone wants (I can already picture @lastweeksshirttonight reply to this to say they care, so I should amend that to say there is one person who wants that, but they have already listened to the episode and don't really need to be told what's in it, leaving this post still of interest to no people). So here is a cut.

It's been just a little bit over a year now since the couple of months I spent doing constant posts to update everyone on my progress through the rabbit hole of understanding the meaning of "Chocolate Milk Gang". A journey that started with an effort to just explain the name, but grew much bigger than that. Consider this post a continuation of those ones.

Okay. Okay. In order to find all the things I wanted to reference for this post, I decided to make one folder on my hard drive called Chocolate Milk Gang, where I collect all the video, audio, and PDF files that relate to the intersection of CMG members, and I've got to admit I had a moment of looking at the whole folder and saying, "This is all starting to feel a bit Beautiful Mind." But anyway, it is convenient to have it all in one place.

Anyway. Here are the couple of clips I cut out of that podcast for that folder:

There's a lot to unpack here, comedian gossip-wise. Football stories that I'm always happy to hear again. Between Kitson's radio shows, Russell Howard/Jon Richardson's radio show, and The Bugle, I've heard enough different stories to suggest that apparently Al Pitcher's wedding was a hell of a time.

There's also some stuff in that Edinburgh clip that isn't specifically relevant the the CMG, but is relevant to some other stuff I've been posting about in the last few months. Stuff about the difference between British and American comedy, and how I'm pretty sure those differences are largely shaped by the Edinburgh Festival. Specifically by the fact that anyone can go to the Edinburgh Festival, making it very different from something like Just For Laughs that we have here, which is invite only (plus a few spots that can be won in auditions). And I think this is what makes British comedy much more similar to Australia/NZ comedy than it is to North American comedy, because they have MICF over there that's similar to Edinburgh.

John Oliver sums it up well here:

You can kind of finish your ‘bulletproof’ – to the extent that that was true, which it wasn’t – but as close to a solid set of comedy that you can produce. At that point, you’re finished, really, right? So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep doing that? There’s probably many cautionary tales that will show you that’s not the way to human happiness. So then you start to break it. And that was where Edinburgh, for me, was so massively important, that you throw away that safety blanket, and then the next year you come back with a brand new hour. You spent a number of years making that twenty minutes, now you have to spend eleven months making an hour.

I wish he'd expanded a bit on the "not the way to human happiness" part, because that interests me. Starting comedy around here, I've seen how different it is from what I hear from British stuff, and obviously there are lots of reasons for that, mainly that I'm comparing low-level stuff that's local to me against great comedians from Britain. I know that Britain also has low-level club comedians, I just don't hear from them all the way over here.

But I have heard a little bit of fairly low-level comedy in Britain, and it's still notably different from what I hear here. Also, some of the comedians I hear around here have been doing it a long time (including my brother, who's been doing it 13 years, doing regular pro spots for over ten, makes enough money off comedy each year so he could probably almost live off his comedy income alone if he didn't mind being extremely poor), have done quite well. I've tried to see what their ambitions are, what the path is that they're trying to get on to the next thing. And there just doesn't really seem to be one. There are occasional spots on CBC that people would like, but those are so rare, so few compared to the number of panel show spots that comedians can try for in Britain, if they want to go that way. And obviously, in Britain, the new comedians are all trying to put together something good enough to take to Edinburgh, even if at first it's just the twenty-minute set that John Oliver was talking about in that clip for the Comedy Zone or something like that. No one here is doing that. They're pretty much doing the exact thing that John Oliver described as "not the way to human happiness", perfecting their 20-minute set so they can impress increasingly important club promoters for years and years and years.

It seems to me like a bad idea to dedicate your whole life to the thing that John Oliver accurately described as "not the way to human happiness", but I'm interested in how many other options there are. You can try for TV and radio spots, I guess, but there aren't many of those here. Some comedians around here try to audition for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival and Just For Laughs, but not many get in because there's not nearly as much to to those festivals as there is to Edinburgh. A couple of people around here have started podcasts, but contrary to what the front page of Chortle each week might suggest, surely not everyone in the entire world can start a podcast. You could sell your soul to social media, obviously - that's always an option no matter what your field is. But if you want to do comedy and don't want that, what else are you supposed to do? I don't ask that question facetiously, I would genuinely like to know and I wish John Oliver would answer it. Which I guess he did, and the answer was to go to Edinburgh until you get good enough to do your own tours. Or, in his case, you make some connections at Footlights, have Ricky Gervais happen to know who you are, then for some reason he mentions your name to Jon Stewart when The Daily Show is looking for a British correspondent. Also you start a podcast.

Anyway. That's the part where John Oliver explained some interesting stuff about the intersections between the comedy industry and the comedy craft, but that's not what we're here for, is it? We're here for some comedian gossip! And this podcast episode provided on that front.

Okay. To explain the significance of one part of that clip, I have to go back a bit. To summer 2022, when I spent ages looking things up to try to find the explanation for the name “Chocolate Milk Gang”. I’d found that it had to do with them being sober when all the other comedians were drunk, to them being considered vaguely nerdy compared to other comedians who were more shouty or smooth or alcoholics. So I got the gist, but this wasn’t enough to fully make sense. I kept coming back to asking: But why chocolate milk, though? Do they drink the chocolate milk? Do they talk about chocolate milk on stage? Do they regularly sacrifice cows in the middle of the night and steal their milk? Or was that just that one time?

The clearest explanation I'd found came from a 2007 article that said:

Part of a new breed of stand-up dubbed the Chocolate Milk Gang for rejecting a hard-living ethos, they include the likes of Daniel Kitson, Demetri Martin, John Oliver, David O’Doherty, Josie Long and Alun Cochrane, and can be characterised by their romantic sensibility, intelligence, geekiness, love of indie music and passive-aggressive, alpha male competitiveness.

But that doesn't explain the name. Sure, chocolate milk is a sort of nerdy drink, but there had to be a reason why that specific drink got used in their nickname. I remember at one point saying in a frustrated Tumblr post that in the early 00s, I was hanging out with my high school friends, and we were nerdy and sober and liked to imagine ourselves as romantic and intelligent, but we never named ourselves after chocolate milk, because that is not a thing that just automatically happens to everyone who’s a nerd.

So I kept searching. There were just barely enough references to the term on the internet for me to be pretty sure it was really used, but few enough for me to occasionally doubt that. There are really very, very few direct references to the actual name “Chocolate Milk Gang” out there.

They are so rare that I once listened to an entire Comedian’s Comedian podcast episode featuring the worst person in the entire world, just because I’d read that he mentions the words “Chocolate Milk Gang” in it, which turned out to not even be true. Actually, he just talked a bunch of shit about David O’Doherty in the ComCom episode, and then on a different podcast months later, he talked to a different guy about how DO’D had (shockingly) disliked the comments he'd made on the ComCom podcast, and it’s there that he mentions that DO'D was in a Chocolate Milk Gang. And I listened to both episodes. To two hours of the worst person in the fucking world talking, just so I could hear someone say “Chocolate Milk Gang”, because instances of that were so rare. And he didn’t even actually say “Chocolate Milk Gang” – got the name wrong and called them the “Chocolate Milk Brigade”. And listening to those two hours pissed me off so much that I lost respect for Stuart Goldsmith just because he was able to be in a room with that guy and not punch him in the fucking face.

I hate to focus on him and normally when I complain about that on this blog I just refer to him as the worst person in the world rather than getting specific, but in the interests of laying this all out in one place, the Chocolate Milk Brigade reference is about 15:30 into this:

I get into the McSavage stuff because me listening to all that bullshit really shows just how incredibly rare direct mentions of the term "Chocolate Milk" in relation to those comedians are, how hard they were to find so I'd listen to anything. I did, however, find a number of things that described the phenomenon, but just didn't use the name. Notably, this clip from Stewart Lee's Alternative Comedy Experience TV show:

Or this clip from Russell Howard and Jon Richardson's radio show, recorded live from the Edinburgh Festival in 2007, looking back at Edinburgh 2006 with guest Richard Herring:

Interesting that both Lee and Herring identify them specifically as being strange and different for not spending the entire month of August drunk. That probably says more about Lee and Herring than about anything else.

So they go by many names, apparently. The Chocolate Milk Brigade, in the words of David McSavage. The Hanging Around Gang, in the words of Stewart Lee. The annoyingly sober nerds of the circuit, according to Richard Herring. The Guys with the Bags, in the words of Andrew Maxwell. The International Crime Syndicate that Sometimes Organizes Soccer Matches, in the words of John Oliver (okay, he was talking about FIFA when he said those words, but I think they also apply to the CMG).

That Stewart Lee clip has them come so close to using their actual name, but they still don't quite say it. The very rare instances of the actual name being referenced include that bullshit McSavage saga, that extremely weird article I quoted above, and this clip from David O'Doherty's episode of the Comedian's Comedian podcast that I finally - finally found after searching for so long (I consider it very lucky that David O'Doherty went on the ComCom podcast before the worst person in the world did, because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten his brilliant episode at all, since it's my understanding that for some time after that horrible episode he wasn't on speaking terms with David McSavage or Stuart Goldsmith, fucking understandably):

God, re-listening to that is reminding me of how exciting it was to find it for the first time last year, after searching for so long. Actually, to illustrate how exciting it was, I still need to get a cat and name it Stuart Goldsmith. Early in the episode, DO'D talked a bit about his early Edinburgh days, and I paused the recording to make a post on Tumblr about that discussion, and how close they came to discussing the Chocolate Milk Gang, and how much I wanted my answer. In that post, I said something like: "Stuart Goldsmith, if you can get an explanation out of David O'Doherty for the Chocolate Milk Gang, I will name my first cat after you." As a joke about how I do not want kids but felt that this was important enough to offer something on the same level as letting him have my firstborn. A bit later in the same episode, when he delivered on that, I made a follow-up post to 1) share the above clip, which I deemed the Holy Grail of audio clips, as I'd looked for it for so long, and 2) admit that I do need to name a cat after Stuart Goldsmith now.

I've just dug up the post that I made after I first heard that clip - a post from August 19, 2022 - and in it, I transcribe what DO'D said. I shall copy/paste some of it:

David O’Doherty: ’02 was the year where I came [to Edinburgh] with a show, I’d been a bit sad and tried to write a show… and I met just a bunch of people. I met Kitson, I met Conchords, I met Taika Waititi, who’s a movie director now, I met Zaltzman, I met John Oliver, I met Josie Long – I’d met her before but, we were all just trying to figure out a kind of a thing that we wanted to do. And it didn’t quite fit with what was successful around then, because none of us were… I guess you could categorize it as quite low-status individuals. As in, we didn’t walk out with smoke machines, and if we did shout from off stage it was something ironic, about, like, “Get ready to try and stay awake for an hour, because this room is bullshit. Ladies and gentlemen!” You know, and that was… whereas before, that was the start of shiny floor comedy that we see on TV now. So it was like people in tailored suits and bowing, and getting the adulation – that was just never a thing I wanted to do. My father’s a jazz musician, and jazz is like the opposite of that.” Stuart Goldsmith: In those comedians that we’ve named, do you see a sort of reflection of your styles in each other’s work? Because there are sort of similarities, like a common trope of that kind of gang is to treat something gentle and meandering and whimsical as if it’s, you know, like a rap battle or something. To kind of pretend like you’re Notorious B.I.G., talking about a unicorn. David O’Doherty: Oh, that. Yeah, I mean, that’s… that’s pretty low, what you’ve just said. Stuart Goldsmith: [laughter] Well it’s something that’s copied a lot now, and I think it originated with Kitson and with you doing Late ‘n Live. That whole thing of going, “strap in, buckle up.” But now, every idiot in tight jeans is going, “Strap in,” but without a sense of why. David O’Doherty: Right, yeah. Yeah, I guess we were… yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, I’ve always felt that I’m trying to say something reasonably profound. I’ve never done a show that was just a load of jokes, and was just trying to fill the time with talking about, you know, fairy lights and bunting, which was sort of the perception, I think, people who never came to the shows, or some people who reviewed it, would have had around the time. Of like, “Where is he from? I don’t know, but I’d like to visit it.” You know, I’ve always tried to talk about the things that were important. It’s just that those things manifested themselves as the tale of a suicidal lobster, which was the first show here, or whatever it was then. So, you know, none of that was very tough. I remember once, we were referred to as… Me: Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, for the love of God, tell me what you were referred to as. David O’Doherty: …because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang. Which isn’t something you see… Stuart Goldsmith: By who? David O’Doherty: I think Glenn Wool, or something like that. Stuart Goldsmith: Okay, for people who don’t know Glenn Wool, he very much typifies the… David O’Doherty: Well, he was certainly then, he was like a party, a mega-party dude then. I remember Andrew Maxwell… Stuart Goldsmith: [laughing] Sorry, even your use of the phrase “mega party dude” firmly establishes you as a chocolate milk guy. David O’Doherty: I remember Maxwell, who’s a friend of mine – Andrew Maxwell is such a much more alpha character – brackets, shorter – than me, and he once said to John Oliver, “You lads, you’ve always got bags.” Because we had, as in a backpack or a satchel. And we probably had, like jokes, or like, books, and he was always like, “What’s in your bag?” Like there was something going on, just… we have effigies of you, and we have ceremonies that you’re not allowed to come to.

In that copy-paste of that my old post, I would like to draw your attention to this quote: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang."

I said at the time that it didn't matter, because of course I was so happy to have the central mystery answered that I could overlook one little confusing bit. But of course, I still tried for a while to look it up. I couldn't quite understand what DO'D was saying - it sounded to me like "favorait", or maybe "fav-o'rait"?

I Googled all these things, but it was hard when I didn't even know what type of place it was. I was picturing a sort of 7/11-style corner store, a place that was open late and sold milkshakes. But I didn't know what it actually was. So I was just Googling a word that I didn't know how to spell, and I didn't know what context to add. Throwing in the word "Edinburgh" didn't help.

At some point I took to Google Maps, and then Google Earth. He said the went "over" to get milkshakes after Late 'n' Live, which suggested to me that it couldn't be far from the Gilded Balloon. They wouldn't travel all that far in the middle of the night when they'd just done a whole big comedy show. So I looked around the map to see if I could find anything by that name, but nothing came up. I eventually gave up on finding it.

However. However. Here's a shortened version of the clip I posted earlier, of John Oliver on the recent Russell Howard podcast episode, talking about Edinburgh. Here's a short clip of just the part that's relevant to this post, where he talks about the CMG days:

He said it! He said it! That's the same word DO'D said, the name of the store, but John Oliver said it more clearly so I was inspired to try Googling again.

I tried Googling potential spellings with the word "Edinburgh" for a while, but nothing came up. Then I realized something (and this part isn't going to make this post sound less Beautiful Mind-y): this is a tradition that started in 2002. The Gilded Balloon burned down in December 2002, and was rebuilt nearby. So in August 2002, when the CMG started, the Gilded Balloon was in a different place to where it is now. All that searching on Google Maps/Earth, I was looking in the wrong spot.

So I did some Googling to try to find the original address for the Gilded Balloon. My CMG research from the last year has led me to know a hell of a lot about the Gilded Balloon. I even know its layout and backstage quite well, since it was heavily featured in that Tim Minchin documentary (I even know more than I need to about how the dressing rooms look, by which I mean there were more shots than I needed of Tim Minchin with his clothes off). But I couldn't find its original exact address. I knew that it was originally in a place called Cowgate, which is a neighbourhood and/or street and/or square (this is why I've named the cow sacrificing event Cowgate, even though that occurred at the new location in 2003). I learned today that it was supposed to become a casino but Karen Koren made it a comedy club instead. I learned that its original building used to be a J. & R. Allan's department store. But I couldn't find its specific address.

However, I did find that the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started in something called Hastie's Close. So I went to that place on Google Earth, figuring the fire couldn't have spread all that far. I set the year to 2005, which was the closest year to 2002 for which Google Earth had archive data around there. And I just explored the area.

I didn't actually expect to find anything, really. But then, suddenly, it appeared before me:

So... mystery solved. Look, to be honest, most of this post has just been to give context to try to explain why the fuck I was so excited to find an Edinburgh diner that, as I now know because once I knew exactly what I was looking for I was able to look the place up, closed down years ago. It's exciting because it's the last little piece of the answer that I was so excited to find last year.

That's what David O'Doherty actually said: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to Favorit and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang." And Favoirt is not a 7/11-style corner store, it's a diner that even had a license to sell alcohol late (according to its front window), but is clearly the sort of place that's more about the milkshakes than it is about being a bar. And it is, in fact, very near the original Gilded Balloon. Or at least, it's very near the place where the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started.

I am so pleased to have found a spelling, description, and even picture to go with the [inaudible] word that David O'Doherty said in that Holy Grail audio clip, tying up that one loose end over a year later.

Why does that matter? Look, I'm not quite sure, but it definitely seemed important. It definitely seemed sweet to hear John Oliver in 2023 reminisce about going for milkshakes in Edinburgh, and hanging out with "Jermaine [Clement] and Brett [McKenzie] and Demetri [Martin] at Favorit" - he came so close to using the actual CMG name, despite not quite specifically saying it.

Like I said, a lot to unpack in that podcast episode. I have now unpacked one tiny, tiny part of it, and it was the least important part. But I did unpack it. It's unpacked now. You're welcome.

...As I keep saying, there are worse things I could have gotten deeply obsessed with as a way to cope with the changing world in pandemic times. I could have gotten really into Jordan Peterson, like some ex-CMG members/hosts of podcasts about a box for things people like, that I could name. At least I didn't do that. I just occasionally spend two hours on Google Earth to find a long-closed diner in Edinburgh. I'm doing fine.

[alllostinmythoughts]

I was not a good Witness and that’s a good thing.

When I was in, I thought I was a bad JW for things I could not control. I had poor physical health since I was a teenager and my mental health suffered because of that. I became a publisher as a tween but my hours were lacking because I could not do more than an hour a week and I did not get “return visits” or bible studies because of my severe social anxiety. I did not comment in the meetings and I had to eventually remove my self from the ministry school for the same reason.

All of those things did not make me a bad Witness. Those things were me being human and doing the best I could despite my circumstances. Now that I am out, I can see that I should not have felt ashamed nor have been made to feel guilty about it.

Here, though, are a list of things that did make me bad Jehovah’s Witness and why I think it was a good thing.

• I didn't like giving people the JW version of life after death.

A few years ago the organization updated the tracts they produced. Before they were square and had a trifold design. They had several paragraphs about whatever the front cover said it was about. Typical religious stuff. Life, death, how Jesus can save us. It was something you could give someone on the fly while out and about or to someone who said they didn't have any time to talk. The new ones are a little different. Same info, just a different format. More colorful and eye catching. Folded in half and with less info, only a couple of scriptures and sentences.

As I got older, I became increasingly uncomfortable with giving out the ones about suffering and death. I was especially uncomfortable with the ones about death. A witness will read this and think: “Why would anyone be uncomfortable with telling someone about our hope for the future.” That's why, because it is our hope, your hope. I would always think, what if we gave that tract to someone who had just lost someone. They're in the middle of grieving and you want them to contemplate an entirely new belief in the afterlife. They may already have a really strong belief that brings them comfort but then you tell them that they're wrong, and show them a couple of scriptures why they're wrong. That could devastate someone.

I know this isn't always the case. Since I was a child, I've heard stories of people who lost a loved one and then were visited by witnesses and were comforted by the witnesses version of what happens after we die and what we have to look forward to past that. But it's not like you're gonna hear a person talk about how they in-fact were not comforted, when they're giving their life experience in the Kingdom Hall. You could not look me in the eye and tell me with absolute certainty that it did not ever hurt someone.

Witnesses think that everything they believe is an absolute fact and that everybody would want to hear what they have to share. They cannot even fathom for a second that someone else may actually be happier with their current belief system and their beliefs may make someone upset.

• I didn't believe in paradise.

When you’re a child, you believe everything your parents tell you. With kids outside the organization, they’re told that Santa and the Easter Bunny is real but then kids grow up and they realize for themselves what’s real or not. Not so when it comes to witnesses.

When you’re a kid as a witnesses you’re told about this paradise and it’s nice to believe in. Who doesn’t want to play all day without worrying about anything or being able to pet lions, and tigers, and bears. Oh my.

However, when you grow up you realize the reality of the situation and you just have to be comfortable with all the implications of it.

Witnesses are a doomsday cult. They probably wouldn’t like that descriptor but it’s the truth. I might go into it further in a another post but for now, I’ll just give a brief summery. They believe that in an indeterminate future, Jesus and the angels will kill everybody on earth except Jehovah’s Witnesses and then it will be paradise. So, if you have family, nice neighbors you talk to frequently, and innocent children who aren’t witnesses, they will not make it. Think about it, there are currently close to 8 billion people on earth and there are only 8 million witnesses. Close to 8 billion people will die, just like that. Innocent people, just because they didn't believe the same things as a group of 8 million people.

I think this belief is just awful. When I was in the organization, I think I just tried to ignore it completely and didn’t even think about it to keep myself sane.

• I had political opinions.

Now this one is a doozy and something that I still struggle with, being partially sheltered from most things, especially of the political nature. But you can’t be kept away from everything and my family were not the type of witnesses that didn’t have a TV and us kids were allowed to watch anything age appropriate. (Well, we weren’t allowed to watch a few things but we weren’t extreme. That might be another interesting thing to post about.) So, things filtered through but not enough that I feel that even now, as an adult, I have an completely informed opinion on a lot of different ideas. But, I’m getting there. Hopefully.

I think, however, I was informed enough about a few topics. Like, racism and feminism. These were dirty words in the organization.

You see, on the surface, the organization could look pretty progressive. (Ignoring the blatant homophobia.) On paper they paint a pretty picture. But if you’ve lived through the organization's actual stances of these things, you’d realize that’s not actually true.

When if comes to racial inclusion, you’ll read in the books they publish, that God is impartial and that God does not favor one race, ethnicity or nationality over another. We’re taught not to have a nationalistic view of one’s country because we’re all God’s children on Earth. We’re even suppose to take a stand against drafting in the military, if we’re ever called to that, because we’re supposed to view everyone as a brother under God and how could one go to war against your brother.

But you’re also supposed to be politically neutral. So if you were to agree with the sentiment that there is a problem with police brutality currently in America, then that could get you in trouble. You would be told that you are creating division and that that is a politically held belief and we do not hold political beliefs.

When I was still in the organization, I got into an argument with someone I worked with who is a Jehovah’s Witness. It was around the time of the BLM protests. I tried to be carefully with what I said because like I said, I could get in to trouble. However, I got so frustrated with the things he was saying that eventually, I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore. I straight up asked him if he thought de-segregation was a bad thing, because that decision came from the direct result of the protests lead by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I asked him if he was okay with the fact that black people wouldn’t be working along side him, if segregation was still in effect right now. He kept trying to skirt around the question because obviously he couldn’t say he was okay with segregation but he also couldn’t agree with the protesters either.

It’s so twisted.

• I thought it was okay for other people to worship however they wanted.

I never could wrap my head around the witnesses disdain for how other people worshiped in their faith. For multiple reasons.

First, just like many witnesses who are born in, many other people in other religions were also born in to their faith. It is the only way they now how to worship. They were taught by their parents from a young age. If someone came up to a witness and told them, “By the way, the way you’ve worshiped God since you were a child is wrong and you’re gonna be punished because of it.” They would be offended. Well, no. They would probably take it as a challenge. To prove why they are the only ones in the entire world who worships the correct way. As if there is such a thing.

That’s the other reason why I couldn’t understand. I always thought it was presumptuous for any one person to claim with absolute certainty that their religion was the true religion and therefore, everything they believed and did for that religion was correct. I respect that they have the right to worship however they felt was right. However, even if you believe truly in your heart that you had everything figured out. That you found God and now you know that the way you’re going to live your life from now on out would be the correct way. You still would give other people the courtesy to have the same thing that you have and to recognize that even if you whole-heartedly believe, there would be no way for you to 100% certain. Maybe 99%, but never 100%.

So that’s it. There are many other things that made me bad bad witness but I’m proud of all of them. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe they have the moral high ground in everything they believe in but they don’t.

[avalon-of-babylon]

Some people just want to hate

So the other day I was in a live stream when Cyberpunk 2077 came up and the streamer said something odd "I've been told by trans people that it's transphobic and I'm going to listen to them"

Now I was confused by this because the only trans related controversy I knew of was the soda ad. However, it'd been a while since I did Claire's so I decided to look into it and my god some people just want to fucking complain.

ChroManticore

From all I've read this is the only one with any merit.

On the off chance you the reader don't know what happened here's the gist of it. ChroManticore is a soda company in the game with 16 flavors and before the games release an in game ad was released showing a (presumably) trans women in a skin-tight leotard that showed off her massive glowing cock along with the slogan "mix it up"

This was rightfully criticized for fetishistic and othering, and the CDPR apology was subpar to say the least. Anyone who felt or feels that way is valid and deserves have their criticism heard. Any harassment critics have received over this is unacceptable full stop.

Now that being said there is some context for the larger world that is important to keep in mind.

In the world of cyberpunk everyone and everything is a commodity, your life and even your rights are dependent on how much value you have to a corporation. To the corporation in game that made that ad they were not a person but a commodity and numbers on a spreadsheet.

It's also important to remember that this is a world 50 years in the future where if you have the money you can hot swap your genitals on a whim, you can befriend a vending machine, everyone is under threat of living programs, and the ethics of immortality for the rich through essentials putting their brain on a USB, popping it into someone else's brain and stealing their body is a very real and pressing thing. This is a world beyond our own with a culture that's in many ways left ours behind.

Could the ad have been handled more responsibly? Yes however I personally think it's unfair to call the game transphobic because of it.

"Cyberpunk 2077's Character Creation is Transphobic"

"At first, many trans players were happy with the idea that gender would not be determined by the character's genitals. However, that possible excitement turned to disbelief when gamers realized their character's gender and pronouns are not determined by genitals, but rather by voice. Only deep-voiced characters can be identified as male, while higher-pitched characters are identified as female, which purports the harmful idea that people's genders can be identified by certain traits." - CPR.com article How Cyberpunk 2077 Perpetuates Transphobia & Why Gamers Are Calling It an Act of Violence

While yes, pronouns should be an independent choice that CDPR will hopefully add in a future update, this is tantamount to saying any game with character creation but no pronouns option is transphobic. You can use the female voice with a masc body and literally no genitals if you want anyone saying this just wants something to complain about.

Honestly from the bottom of my heart go fuck yourself.

There's no queer characters (yes there are)

"There are occasional appearances of trans flags and a few characters who may or may not be LGBTQ, but the majority of the characters appear to be cisgender and heterosexual" - "It's possible players will uncover more trans characters over the course of the game, but it seems odd that reviewers who have played anywhere from 40 to 60 hours have yet to encounter any meaningful trans NPCs." CPR.com article How Cyberpunk 2077 Perpetuates Transphobia & Why Gamers Are Calling It an Act of Violence

I don't even know what to say to that. Sorry you spent the entire time running around not engaging with the game you were playing??? That's on you buddy, literal skill issue. Maybe help Claire (a trans woman) avenge her dead husband or spend even a minute with Kerry?

And that's pretty much it. There's also claims of ostracization without any evidence or even elaboration, a tweet from 2018 and it's subpar apology, and a defense of Keanu. What little substance there is isn't substantial to call the game transphobic and the rest is just utter horse shit by people who just want something to hate.

[kpodcast]

What makes a good concert setlist? I've been to three concerts this year, and watched the Eras tour movie, and I don't think there's a perfect formula. I saw Twice in Dallas this year, and I'm going to look at their setlist to see what patterns we can identify.

We're going to talk just about song choice, not the videos or chatting, and I'm going to exclude the encore songs since those changed every night, and the solo songs (except POP, see notes).

Here's the full set list:

SET ME FREE I CAN'T STOP ME GO HARD MORE & MORE MOONLIGHT SUNRISE BRAVE First Solo Set Feel Special Cry for Me FANCY The Feels Second Solo Set - including POP! Queen of Hearts YES or YES/What Is Love?/CHEER UP/LIKEY/KNOCK KNOCK/SCIENTIST/Heart Shaker Alcohol-Free Dance the Night Away Talk That Talk When We Were Kids CRAZY STUPID LOVE

As is becoming the norm, I decided to look at MV views and Spotify streams for every song at the concert.

I think any Kpop fan knows a few of these songs - Feel Special, The Feels, FANCY are the ones I would guess - and the average Twice fan probably knows most of them. But, there are some more deep cuts, ones that I didn't know, like BRAVE and GO HARD.

Some other things to note about the concert:

Feel Special, Cry for Me, FANCY, and The Feels were performed with a live band

YES or YES through Heart Shaker were performed as a medley, with only a verse or chorus from each song.

With all that in mind, what can we determine about setlists from Twice's concert?

Off the bat, I see that the graph shows some lulls - GO HARD and BRAVE at the start, Queen of Hearts before the medley, and both When We Were Young and CRAZY STUPID LOVE to finish off the show. I think lulls in the show are important, as someone who is pushing 30, I need time to rest. It also gave Twice time to rest! There were a few songs where the choreography was really designed around them sitting for a while, which is important when you're planning a 3 hour show.

Also, as previously mentioned, their most well known songs were all done with the live band. This took their most popular songs and gave them a new twist and made them exciting. I have never screamed Cry for Me like I did with the live band. It kept people engaged with songs that they've likely heard hundreds of times already. If you haven't seen it, check out Jihyo's incredible a cappella solo for Feel Special.

And then the medley. I loved the medley. I thought it was such a fun and smart way to incorporate some of their older songs. You can see on the graph those seven songs are among the most popular, and Twice has likely performed them hundreds of times in the years since their release. The medley was a way to, again, keep the audience engaged and give Twice a new way to interpret and perform these songs and play with the choreography as well.

I have so many thoughts about setlist choices! How venue and size makes a difference in song choices and interaction with the audience, how each song flows to the next, how recent releases and future teasers affect song choices, it's all so interesting.

How important do you think the order of the setlist is? Do agree that there should be lulls in the set? I've seen iKON and DKB as well and would love to share some thoughts on their setlists as well if anyone is interested!

As always - some notes:

Views and streams numbers were pulled in early November

I used the Cry for Me choreography video views in place of MV views, since there is no MV for Cry for Me

Just straight view/stream counts is not the clearest way to gauge popularity, since older songs will have more views due to age. I may release an updated version of this post with views/streams over time!

I left in POP! since it was released on the Twice channel, and as of writing this post I realize that I should have included Nightmare from Jihyo as well as it was released after the concert

[teyamsatan]

alright, let me share all the details of my day with you but I have to admit, it wasn't anything extraordinary, it was just packed rip to my social battery. I was constantly on the move since 7 in the morning, doing so much paperwork and interacting with different people, which left me feeling a bit exhausted haha now I’m very happy to be home in my room in cozy pj’s 😇

the weather today was SOO hot and sunny, normally, I enjoy the sunshine, but being under it makes me stressed about my skin aging with every passing second thank goodness for sunscreen

under the sun, my sister’s friends and I managed to plan a surprise party for her upcoming birthday the upcoming week. let’s see how that will go. later, I met up with my friends to barbecue while watching the champions league. oh, and I learned something new today: one of my friends made a "salad" using grilled watermelon (specifically the white part, I know, sounds weird) but it surprisingly tasted good (I was very skeptical at first) for anyone curious, I recommend giving it a try, it's like a combination of the taste of cucumber and grilled zucchini/eggplant (don't forget to add a bunch of seasoning)

and yeah, that’s it. now your turn, how was your day? what did you eat? what did you drink? 💕I hope no one got on my andra bb's nerves today 😒 

under the cut cause this is longggg hahaha

omg that sounds like a very busy day, i'm so proud of you, but also feel for your social battery cause mine drains really quickly irl and then i need 3-5 business days to recover. the weather in the uk is also horrendously hot for the uk and the houses here (and the rest of the uk) don't do well with heat, so i'm in pain, sipping on frozen margaritas hahahha.

the surprise party plans sound sooo nice, i'm so excited to hear how that will go, so keep me updated <3 also i'm cravinggg a barbeque, i haven't had a proper one in so long, back home my dad used to always make me bbq when i visited my grandma, but i haven't been home for summer in a long time unfortunately :( i've heard about the watermelon thing before, but haven't tried it, and now am vv curious and will let you know as soon as i try ittt

my day started with me going to university on a saturday, which i hate. there's one more week of the study that basically has basically ruined every aspect of my life lol, and until then i'm under constant stress bc of it. fortunately, i finished my job in about 2 stressful hours, and then i went to the cafe i always go to and wrote for a few hours, which was really nice. i had a normal latte, 2 ice lattes, an iced tea from starbucks, three frozen margaritas, and a lot of water hahahah. i ate a smoked salmon bagel for breakfast, and this thai chicken/broccoli stirfry we make with peanut butter sauce which is delishhh for lunch/dinner. i also went swimming today and broke my record for most calories burned swimming, which was a nice surprise.

that was my day my love xx thank you for asking <3 ilysmmm

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Fic games

I was tagged to post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to AO3, and I'm curious what this will look like, so here we go...

Dean woke up with a groggy head, sore wrists and a complete inability to move. (Exactly Like a Men Of Letters Move, SPN, Rated E)

Dean drove the Impala into his assigned parking space in the massive underground lot. Its familiar growl was cut through with a disquieting rattle that made him frown: the repairs he'd made at the side of a dusty road a few hours before would need some further work before he got back out on the road again. (Bit of Rough, SPN, rated M)

Duke Crocker had never had much of a regular sleep schedule. (Watched His Lovers Sleep, Haven, rated T)

This is a story that differs only a little from the original. Or rather, which differs a lot, but only in one specific way. (A Miracle Powered by Centuries of Troubled Aether, Haven, rated T)

The Troubles set Nathan up to fail, long before he ever heard of a woman called Audrey Parker. They set him up to fail in ways he didn’t even know about; from his own family history to what his father knew was coming, and simply the way the Troubles work. (This is not a fic as such but rather some meta about Haven, rated T)

"Why do I always go for the shy ones?" Something in her voice makes me turn around, and something in the view makes me not want to leave. (Somehow The Same, Haven. I've just been working on the next chapter for this! Currently rated T, though that might change.)

For lack of anything better to do one afternoon, Duke and Nathan sat on a rock at the edge of the beach, drawing pictures in the sand with sticks. “It’s going to be 1990 soon,” Duke said out of nowhere. “And then it’ll be The Year Two Thousand,” he added. It had an inevitable ominous ring to it. (The Things You've Done, Haven, rated T)

“I'm not saying you need wine, but I'm saying it wouldn't be a bad idea,” Jess said, amused as she poured him a glass of red. (Sunshine, Haven, rated M)

Dean walked through the library to his room. For once the place was quiet; Sam and Bobby were out on a beer run, Charlie was already asleep, Garth and Kevin would be back tomorrow. There was of course their additional, hopefully temporary, houseguest. But since losing all of his demonic powers Crowley had become surprisingly useful. (Not Entirely By Mistake, SPN, rated E)

Dean pulled the Impala up outside the Roadhouse. “This place is starting to feel like home,” Sam said. (Outside the Roadhouse, SPN, Rated E)

Honorary mention for the last thing I updated; Everyone I know lives here (hoping to update this one soon too): It was one of those rare quiet days in the bunker where there was no imminent apocalypse, no one they knew was in immediate danger, and no obvious case-worthy news stories had presented themselves. The building was relatively full, though even when all of its semi-permanent residents were at home still only a fraction of the bedrooms were occupied. (SPN/Buffy crossover, rated M)

Thanks for the tag @misscrazyfangirl321

Tagging ... anyone who wants to play!

[purplesurveys]

1866

The last time you were disappointed, who or what cheered you up? Nothing, haha. I just waited until I stopped feeling bad.

Who was the last person to visit you at your house? Angela and Hans came over a little over a week ago. We talked about Hong Kong, what people around us have been up to, then spent the last 1-2 hours talking about their dream wedding which I got really really really really excited about hehe.

Have you been craving any particular snack lately? Which? I've been wanting Auntie Anne's pretzels but I also want to save, so that's been taking a backseat for now.

Do you enjoy any films with Brie Larson in them? I've only ever seen her in Room but ugh did I love that movie. I had a ridiculous phase where I watched it everyday for like two months straight. I wanted to get the book, too, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

Can you recall the first film you ever saw at a cinema? It was a Stuart Little movie. Stuart Little 2 checks out since it came out when I was 4, and I remember seeing my first movie at 4.

Who was the last person you had a good giggle with? Probably Dev.

What was the last song you heard that reminded you of someone? We played a few Seventeen songs in the car earlier and it reminded me of a few Carat friends.

Have you had any news of any kind lately? I've been told an exciting update recently that pretty much makes me get a lump in my throat whenever I get too deep in my thoughts about it, heh.

Has anyone close to you had a birthday in the last week? It was Katreen's birthday on the 16th, and my cousin's yesterday.

If you went back in time, what would you say to your 12-year-old self? If you could just hold on for a bit, things will be okay.

Do you recall where your first kiss took place? Yes, in my bedroom.

What colour is your favourite underwear? Red.

When you were small, did you ever ask your parents where babies came from? Sure, I did.

^ If so, do you remember what they told you? I don't, tbh. They didn't try to come up with something creative lol.

How many times in your life would you say you've been in love? Just once.

Name 3 items that are in your bedroom. A lamp, a pen holder, and a few packs of hair dye.

How many friends do you have, whose name begins with L? I can think of two off the top of my head – Laurice and Lui.

Do you remember what you did on your 16th birthday? I don't think we did anything for it.

Have you ever had feelings for someone whose name started with T? Nope.

^ Were they older or younger than you?

What trait of yours do you think others most appreciate? I like that I'm generous, but if people see that or not I wouldn't be sure.

[carica-ficus]

“Fourth Wing”

26/12/2023

Reading progress: 346/498 (69%) Read through since last update: 122

Another sick day, another rampant reading day. I've been noticing A LOT of inconsistencies and bad plot hole mendings in this section. Thankfully, this book is more than easy to read, so I should be done with it soon enough, but man... There's too much stuff that just doesn't make sense. Another thing I noticed and that I can't overlook is that this book is purely written as a "and then" narrative. There's a really good video from the South Park creators that break this concept down, so I'm not going to go into that right now, but yeah, I'm painfully aware why this plot doesn't work for this book (among many other things...) This time, I'm mostly ranting. I'm really losing my mind over this book, so I need to get some stuff off of my chest.

Thoughts today:

So, Violet talks about how she would, and I quote, "climb the man like a tree", but literally on the next page says she's not mad enough to do it.

And then the cringe part when she calls herself a masochist as a joke and he's intrigued. I'm guessing they'll have the most vanilla sex I have ever read.

I've just realized that it's kinda weird that Tairn and Sgaeyl are the only mated pair know in the book so far? I think it's kinda weird because this novel is filled with so much unnecessary information and now it seems to lack something that would maybe be useful. Or at least interesting.

I get that Dain is very strict with the rules, but his recent outbursts seem so out of character. Why wouldn't he believe Mavis tried to kill Violet? He thinks everyone is out to get her anyway.

We have so many unnecessary characters in this book, but then the other 2 wingleaders get introduced at page 245. (Future me: And then are never mentioned again. Just like 90% of all the characters in this book.)

I got to the orange part and if I haven't watched a review for this book a few hours ago where the reader mentioned the absurdity of this specific scene, I wouldn't even know what it's about. This might be the absolute worst fucking part in the book just because it's so random and has literally 0 context. (Future me: I understand what the orange was used for later, but the way this information was introduced is so forced. And lazy. Like damn.)

Hate hate hate that Xaden calls Violet Violence. She literally cannot kill anyone. She never picks a fight. It's used only because it seems quirky.

Okay, I knew the dragon fucking scene was coming on. I get it. I don't judge. In fact, I don't mind. I actually like when authors take the liberty of exploring sexuality in their work. Sure. But how does it make sense to build this whole shit up, to make Violet be overcome by lust, only for Xaden to teach her how to ignore it??? And after she is successful at it, THEN they kiss??? Why?? Why why why???

And then they don't even fuck. Bruh, what the fuck.

(I know it's because Xaden felt like he would take advantage of her, but what the fuck? What the fuuuuuck????)

"The only weapons we're allowed to have are the ones we earn." I've grown numb to all the stupid rules established as a ways to compensate for Yarros's poor writing skills, but this is by far the worst one I've heard. Y'all are in the military, for fucks sake! Shouldn't they provide you with weapons???

The whole squad as Violet and Xaden trash around on the matt:

I was just thinking how it's incredibly weird that Violet's mom hasn't inquired about her at all, only for her to finally appear again after 200 pages! Yay! I wonder what she'll say about her daughter that she forced into the position of a rider?! Still not happy? Shame. I'm so surprised.

What's the whole point of the games? I mean, they were fun, sure, but felt a little underwhelming, mostly because the last assignment was dull, in my opinion, and the rest of them were barely mentioned, let alone featured.

Yup, it makes perfect sense that Xaden doesn't reveal he can talk to Violet telepathically. And it makes perfect sense that the first time he does it is during an important briefing. Just to tease her. That rascal, him! He's so silly!

Speaking of which, that next kiss of theirs as they're leaving is so... unemotional. It comes out of nowhere. From Xaden who has suddenly, in 3 days, had a change of heart he hasn't experienced in the last 3-4 months they have been training together. Like, what?

Can you guess I'm getting a little frustrated? I am really searching for a way to connect to this book, but it's becoming so hard. There's a few good pages, then a dozen bad ones. Well... See y'all tomorrow.