#it's cute that way . i'm sure everyone looking at a piece of art or writing has thoughts and it's nice seeing what peoples reactions are

[welcometoteyvat]

begging all yall twitter artists to post whatever you post on twitter to here as well (so i can properly comment in the tags)

[daisyychainssj]

I know the whole Richas and Tallulah conflict happened hours ago and it reached a resolution and stuff but I'm just now catching up with it so I'm gonna write out my feelings about it because I think the whole thing and the way everyone is interpreting it differently is really interesting. I'm probably going to end up saying things that people said like hours ago so sorry if it's a bit repetitive to read!

!THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT THE CCS!

Richas POV - Okay so firstly, Richas' pov is probably the most complicated because he (obviously) has a much more complex relationship and understanding of the paintings. Not only do they cause him to be distressed because of how they're created but seeing it up on Philza's wall has just shown him that his pai Cellbit betrayed his trust. He didn't get rid of the paintings and instead has been just handing them out behind his back and I can't imagine how gut wrenching that must've been. Tallulah get's defensive about the painting and so she becomes the target of all of his hurt, frustration and fear. He is so worked up over this (understandably) and is getting increasingly frustrated because nobody is listening to him. He didn't agree to the "not be siblings anymore" ultimatum because he truly felt that way, I think he was just blinded by pure desperation. This poor kid NEEDS to be given the opportunity to sit down with someone and open up about this whole Romero Richas situation and he needs to be listened to and his fears taken seriously.

Tallulah POV - Now onto Tallulah's pov. For Tallulah this painting is a cute art piece of her papa phil and her brother Chayanne and suddenly her other brother is demanding that he take it back. Yes it's his painting but also she's a kid, in her eyes this painting was given to them and it's theirs now why would she give it back just so it can be destroyed? Also, Tallulah is the sweet egg! the kind egg! oh she's just so lovely and that's all there is to her!!!!! (sense my sarcasm here) sometimes when that is the way that someone presents themselves it's because they're scared that if they aren't that way they won't be liked/loved and people will leave if they're not prefect. This girl has abandonment issues on top of abandonment issues and Richas agreed to not be her sibling anymore over a painting. So this impacted her HARD. (we ofc know Richas didn't mean it but her character didn't) Tallulah acts out and (from her pov) stands her ground for once and now her brother doesn't want to be her brother anymore. I also think her throwing a tantrum and being a bratty made some of the audience even more shocked and dare I say frustrated at Tallulah behaving like this during this situation because that's not how they're used to her being. She was being stubborn and giving these intense ultimatums but she can be like this I think people just don't see it often because she only really lets her guards down in that way infront of Phil and Chayanne.

So now you have two extremely worked up kids who won't really listen to each other because their emotions are so heightened and that's to be expected! Children can not and should not be expected to regulate their emotions in the same way adults can.

Forever POV - His entire pov of the situation is very interesting to me. I see a lot of people criticising the way he handled this and to a certain extent I do agree. However, I think something that is being overlooked is that Forever perhaps wanting to make sure Tallulah was okay is because that is not his child. He only got permission literally yesterday to look after her after being previously denied. With Richas he can sit with him for HOURS afterwards if needed to try and talk through things. He has to drop Tallulah home in like an hour. It's very obvious to everyone on the island how close she is with Phil, she will tell him everything that happened during her time with the other parents. It makes sense, to me, for Forever to want to try and smooth the situation out as fast as he can and make everything okay. Do I think that makes the way he acted completely fine. No. but I don't think it makes zero sense for him to have acted that way. Also, him being Richas' pai means he's seen Richas have tantrums and be dramatic and bratty, he's never ever seen Tallulah do that so yeah he's going to panic and be like "oh shit I need to calm her down/make sure she's okay because this is unusual". I really do wish he had taken Richas' feelings and concerns more more seriously and hadn't just left him for a bit hopefully in the future he makes sure that he does that. It's a learning curve and he's learning to parent as he goes! He crash landed on an island and then got a child dropped into his lap to take care of so he's kinda just learning on the job.

BBH POV - I don't really have much to say here, I think bad handled the situation well given what he canonically knows about the Romero Richas situation (which is basically nothing) He encouraged Tallulah to talk things through with Richas and kept explaining how important their bond is and idk I just think BBH did a really good job.

Overall, I LOVE that the eggs are getting storylines with each other and are learning and growing. I'm so glad that Richas and Tallulah made up, they both need a warm hug and some hot chocolate or something after that whole ordeal. Little kids feeling big emotions for the first time is tough! but they did great <3

(I apologise if I missed anything important that happened between Richas and Forever when they were alone, I don't speak Portuguese but I tried my best based on the bits and pieces that the wonderful Portuguese speakers on here have translated!)

Anyway that's my long ass essay done! <3

[uchihaharlot]

I didn't mean to break their hearts, I was just curious, srry!😭😭 (but Itachi's one was kinda funny-)

But anyway, now I'm wondering about how they would react if they found out that you can draw really cool and beautiful.

(I'm an artist, so😎)

Nonny 🥹🥹

That put me in an really good mood; lol. That was way too fun to write; maybe I can one day write a super angsty break up (but I love them too much!!!).

I love all artists 😭😭😭 Painters, writers — digital or paper. Anything that expresses the inner workings of someone’s mind and the fact that they can manifest it to reality is so so so beautiful. I hope I’ve secretly seen your art, I’d probably simp over it. Always simp over art. 😂😂🥹🥹

N/SFW; very cute Uchiha men adoring your artwork! 🥹🥹🥹 (ooc Madara??); Simpy Obito; …Scandalous Shisui; abnormally observant Itachi 😂 suggestive themes rolled out the further I got. For some reason, I just had to. (P.s. I should not be allowed to write when tired??? Half of this was done while my eyes rolled shut in bed).

Madara:

It’s not everyday that Madara is blown like a leaf in the wind. When you mentioned being a patron of the arts, he thought maybe the art of battle?? Didn’t expect your weapon to be a paint brush with some acrylic paint. Thought it was some weird jutsu infused shit.

And then you just had to go above and beyond and do a portrait of him for his birthday!!!!! It’s hung on the living room center wall so that it’s the first thing anyone sees! Honestly, this man is a brute, but your art envokes his softer side! A side that he hasn’t been in touch with for…well, a long time.

Makes sure that everyone and I mean, everyone, is aware of your talent! Still, he tries to find the side hussle in it, soliciting customers for you and all. 😭😭 Will trash talk the chalk art children make on the sidewalk, which ‘…that’s not nice, they’re children..’ you say. He shrugs, nobody is as good as you.

Obito:

Finds out and tries to ‘secretly’ commission you lmao. Makes it totally obvious too, his handwriting is shit and eveeeerrryyyyone knows who Tobi really is…. Plus how can you even begin without discussing what he wants done!! Duh, Obito! Unfortunately for him, you are more interested in drawing matters of the flesh. He’ll only show his chest, nothing more.

‘That’s fine.’ You shrug, and get to work. Obito, however, does not have the resolve to sit still! It’s frustrating to no end, but alas, after what seems an eternity— its done. Sort of. Still much to add, but the basics are there and you’ll work better when he’s not asking how does it look every twenty minutes.

Eventually you do finish this beautiful piece of him, and Obito cries. You made his scars tolerable and beautiful with your mind’s creativity, he feels less self conscious about them, only a little.

Shisui:

Is the least normal about it when he discovered your sketchbook — more like snatched and played keep away. Had to fight him for it, literally. Will ask you to paint/draw him naked…many times lol and you respectfully say no... Not that he likes people to see him naked (ok maybe a little?) but he secretly hopes it might happen one day. It would be a private thing for the two of you, cause he wants that ass.

And when you do cave to his whim, just to satiate him. He’s nervous lmao. Had this oh so macho man idea of rocking a hard on but Shisui simply maintains his usual semi. It’s nice though, you make sure it’s extremely detailed..as he asked for.

But, ‘(y/n)… this is chibbi!!!’ Lol, jokes on Shisui!! He didn’t say how to draw his pp.

Itachi:

Is the most normal about it. Though he still will praise you every time you finish a piece and show him, he is still massively impressed. How does your wrist not get tired? …maybe this is why your hand jobs are so good. 😈 Just watching you try a new technique (pointillism, which is my favorite style) makes his wrist hurt. Enjoys when you ask him for ideas! He has lots of them! Mostly…obscure and derelict landscapes though.

Would not be opposed to having his portrait done, but it’s really not his style. He is disciplined enough to sit still but doesn’t see the value in it. Not until the final product is revealed, does he truly understand how important this piece was. You’ve captured his personality in a new light.

[third-arch]

My Trafalgar Law HC's!! pt.2 🤍🤍

Slight Spoiler!!!!

Thoughts🌸🌸

So, as I was writing Chapter 5, I got an idea for something I could add.

Basically, for my HC, I was thinking that maybe Law is secretly good at music? There have been some non canon material in spinoff content that I've been looking at that have hinted at the idea of Law having art classes when he was younger, so I thought it might be a cute idea that he had music lessons too! And considering his JP VA is good at singing, I thought it would be something that might be cool for this next chapter :)) Especially since Reader is a musician too and music is a key component of this fanfic, it would be a really cute way for them to bond.

His instrument would be...the ocarina!!🤍🤍✨✨✨

Inspired from Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, I really like seeing Reader and Law's dynamic as Samekichi and Wadanohara. I've always had a really hard time seeing him with someone who's confident or cool. I never really vibed with the stubborn or teasing reader dynamic, considering how stubborn and cold he can be, too. I see that more as like a best friends dynamic, I suppose (I'm getting deja vu of saying this before lol)?

So I guess he could he called Lawdanohara lol!!🤍🤍🤍

I'm not sure what piece he would play for her. I've been thinking of maybe a song that's personal to him or something that reminds him of Reader. I feel like the latter would be overkill, but it would be slightly extra work to explain how the song is important to him if I chose the former option. So, we'll see.🌸🌸🌸

My idea is to have Law play her a song on his ocarina for her birthday and then teach one to her!! I'd like to incorporate "Sakura Iro No Yume"(Tzu-Shieh, Wen) from Deemo as their duet piece.

It'll be slight foreshadowing to their teamwork in the future, I suppose. overall, this chapter is very important, but I also want it to be sentimental and sweet since it won the poll that everyone voted on!! 🌸🌸

Anyways, this chapter still has a big component to be added to it: artwork. I'm gonna try my best to stay light and to stick to sketches and doodles like the one shown above. I don't want to stress myself out too much with Quiescence 1 (darn you, you complicated, stubborn chapter).

Also, I'm not trying to be egotistical or anything with these updates btw!! I just really like writing and coming up with new ideas ._.!! This is new for me and it's super fun. I feel annoying sometimes when I make these lol. I'll try to do them less and less and stay humble for future uploads.

Still, I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter when it comes out!!🤍🤍🤍🌸🌸 :))

And thoughts on this idea are always welcome!! ✨✨✨

[bashfulgnome]

10 Years of Wrecking, Week 5 – Overflow

10 Years of Wrecking

Week 5 (Nov. 26 - Dec. 2): Free Week

My friend @cr1ms0nlord shared some lovely art with me and asked if I could write a fic based on the same concept (thanks for the idea buddy!). Well, what better time to release it than on the final day of 10 Years of Wrecking?

The fic is under the cut, but I would also like to thank everyone who participated in this month-long celebration and shared their WIR art, stories, and thoughts with the fandom for the anniversary. I'll continue reblogging any more contributions that I've missed and you're free to keep creating whenever you'd like (believe me, I take a really long time to make fanworks) but a big thank you to all participants and all of my wonderful friends I've made in this fandom. You've made these past 10 years amazing and I'm so glad we've met and bonded over this awesome movie. I hope to have many more good times with you all in the future!

She'd just about finished her ramen, but he hadn’t even noticed. 

The cool early-evening breeze in the shady outdoor patio ruffled the awnings of the shops and hotels along the main street in Extreme EZ Livin' 2. Felix had told her when she met up with him that it might be a little chilly, and insisted on lending her one of his shirts for an extra layer over her tank top just in case. The little button-down uniform wasn't exactly a comfortable fit, but the thought alone warmed her up just fine. It was pretty cute that he’d forgotten the height difference, too.

Tamora watched Felix struggling with the noodles, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, clearly unaccustomed to this kind of utensil. The chopsticks were smooth and free of splinters (a testament to the quality of the restaurant) but this didn't exactly help him grip his food. He'd spent the entire meal trying to make sure everything went perfectly. She was accustomed to chaos and disappointment–surely nothing could've SNAFU'd a lunch date that badly–but he seemed hyperfocused on making sure he didn't spill anything, or splash any hot broth, or make any noises.

Watching his consideration in overdrive merged affection and pity, how he cared about doing his best for her so much that he suppressed his little quirks and nervous habits. Not that it could've have been possible for him to even do anything in this situation that would drive her off; even when Felix was completely out of his element he always meant well.

It was something that attracted her to him, that even this early on in their relationship he tried so hard and valued what they had started building so much, but she couldn't help feeling that she was killing him somehow. Sprites passing through Game Central and hiding fearful glances, making a hole at her approach...did he sometimes see her that way too? Was he just better at hiding it?

If she stayed too long, would she erode what made him...him? The sweetness, patience, loyalty–how could he stay in one piece? He was used to such a simple life; how could she be anything other than too much? 

Tamora felt her own grip on her wrist tighten. The thought that eventually he'd be disappointed–or worse, hurt–if he got into this any deeper...burned and scratched inside her head. Just looking at him, a tenderness welled inside her chest that compelled her to keep Felix safe, to make sure his happiness wasn't wasted. She couldn't deny her own feelings for him of course, but he'd fallen hard and fast, riding higher than a past-midnight BurgerTime customer. Whatever image he had of her would have to shatter under its own weight eventually, in spite of them both. 

And still, what she’d been through tore at the scars whenever they had started to close, the cuts even deeper with the knowledge that it technically wasn't "real", never had been. That barrier was invisible but solid as any boundary at the edge of the map. It amazed her that the warmth he radiated was even able to pass through that wall, or that she'd turned out to be capable of sending any of her own back out towards him.

Maybe she was healing, the wounds opening less often and closing a little more tightly and quickly each time. Whether it was at his expense she couldn't tell.

Chancing a peek over at Felix, she noticed his cheeks had flushed from the heat of the dish. He lifted his head from the bowl, looked around, and made eye contact with her as he became reacquainted with his surroundings. 

"Still hot?"

His face went blank for a moment before he answered with a delayed startle.

"Oh yes ma'am...the ramen! The ramen's still pipin' hot! Had to take a break or I would've steamed my face right off!"

The corners of her mouth quirked into an unguarded smile. She could listen to that voice read a technical manual.

In a fit of nervous laughter Felix glanced back down at his chopsticks, still awkwardly adorned with a tangle of ramen–the broth dripping onto the table and his pants. Panicked, he took one bite and inhaled, pulling the noodles in with a loud, unintended slurp that bugged his eyes out in surprise.

Something in her chest twisted itself loose. Before she could think, a gale of laughter blew out from deep inside her. She leaned her forehead into one hand and gripped the table with the other, the crashing double-wave of that goofy visual and sound pummeling her previous train of thought and knocking her off balance.

Felix scrambled for a clump of napkins to dry his face and table before that...beautiful sound pealed in his ears. He'd heard chuckles and snorts from Tamora before, but never this lovely outburst of uninhibited happiness.

He reached out a hand to clasp over hers in affection and felt the tickle of an oncoming laugh himself. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past a sharp breath before being immediately reminded that all the spice had settled into that last mouthful of his meal.

“Tha-haaaaat” he wheezed, “wa-haaas a mistake!”

His violent coughs finally shook her out of her laughing fit as she watched him down the rest of his drink in one shot.

"Felix..." she panted, "I-I'm so sorry, the…! The sound just–I couldn't help it, are you okay?"

"Whew…oh my land… I'm just dandy! Nothing a cold drink couldn't wash down. 'M sorry I made such a mess–"

"Don't be. Haven't laughed like that in ages." 

She put a hand across his back, letting it linger on its way, and leaned in to kiss him on the nose. Felix didn't bend, or break, or recoil. He just laid his hand atop hers on his shoulder, and leaned into her with an even redder face and contented sigh.

"I'm glad I got to hear it, Tammy."

It was such a sincere response that she couldn't bring herself to hold eye contact.

"Y'know, next time don't fuss so much. You're gonna need to save that stress for everything else I put you through."

"I'm not jokin', you have a wonderful laugh. I wanna make you do that more often."

"I'm not joking either."

Felix paused. He looked around again and lowered his voice to just above a whisper.

"This isn't about dinner, is it?" He fidgeted with his hammer, running his thumb over the head’s curve. "I know I've been a bit jumpy lately but...I just don't wanna step on any toes. You don't have to tell me anythin' if you don't want to, but I won't be goin' anywhere if you do either. I can handle it, I promise."

Tamora pulled him a little closer.

She'd eaten the stalest crackers and ugliest MREs the service had to offer, but he cooked homemade soup, chili, and pies for her anyway.

She'd show up at her game’s exit covered in blood and grime from work and gotten into some brutal fistfights, but he still politely took off his hat and kissed her hands anyway.

She'd learned to manage the lingering mental scars and nightmares, but he did his best to understand and take care of whatever he could to put her at ease anyway.

Felix may have been a lover rather than a fighter, but if he was tough enough to stay by her side...well, maybe she didn't have anything to be afraid of. All those things Tamora loved about him weren't just painted on. She couldn't wear away something that filled him from the inside out, not any more than he could ever take away the fire that'd forged her relentless spirit in everything she undertook. He'd only ever stoked it.

"I'll take that chance if you will," she finally replied with a smile. "Maybe I can return the favor."

He kissed her knuckles and gazed up into her eyes with that entranced look that always settled across his features in moments like these.

"You already have..."

That settled it. He wasn't about to be one more thing that her past would take away from her.

—

Tagging some of my WIR buddies: @ask-icancraft-it @ashleybenlove @sgtcalhouns @coneygoil @kittysfigurines24 @fix-it-feesh @sadboy-tristan @make-it-mavis @datamining-your-heart @scarfboyxiv @wirridrs @doodlexx

Let me know if you would like your name added to the tags for future fics!

[blytheofbblythe]

Moms Who Smut

Where has this been all my (reading) life!?

Being a mom is a trip.

Being a married mom is busy.

Being a married mom with a full time job is chaotic.

Being a married mom with a full time job and a newfound love for smut/smutty fanfics is life.

I've been at this mom gig for about 12 years now if we factor in some pregnancy time, it is definitely my life's work and I truly love these little beings that we built. DIY and shit, we made those from scratch, y'all!

One of the tough things about motherhood is sinking to the bottom of the list, inevitably. I mean, maybe I'm doing it wrong but I've yet to come across a mom who doesn't feel this way. Sure, there are moments and girls' trips but on the whole, I'll put everyone in my family before myself on the day to day. I'm not entirely sure who I am anymore if we're being honest.

A turning point came in 2022, a friend of mine recommended a book that had a little spice in it. Listen, aside from some Danielle Steel in my teen years, I'd never really read anything with purposeful spice. It was really cute actually because once I dove in further, my first "naughty" book was basically Kinder-spice. The 6th Spice Girl who wears kitten heels but probably has some silk panties underneath her jean skirt and did some heavy petting in High School.

Next came ACOTAR, a true rite of passage, obviously. They were devoured in a week's time, Rhys was deemed my book boyfriend, I joined all the Fandom pages, HOOKED.

From there I went from reading 0-1 books per year (down from the 25ish I read prior to motherhood) to finishing 112 in 2022 alone.

Downtime that was once spent watching reality TV morphed into reading... The Kindle app on my phone means I'm reading at red lights, in waiting rooms, etc. I could not get enough!

Fast forward a bit.

I'm an avid Harry Potter fan, the nerd flag runs DEEP.

In knowing this, aforementioned friend convinces me to read a Dramione fanfic for the first time since Cursed Child. Let's politely resign to saying that CC did not leave a lasting impression, thus causing me to assume Fanfic wasn't for me. So I crack open this little Fic you may have heard of, Manacled, and dig in.

Fuck. My. Life.

That story ruined me, it split my mind wide open and shredded my heart into a thousand pieces. I neglected my family for 2 days and barely slept, coming out on the other side a changed woman.

Let's pause to acknowledge Senlinyu's complete Goddess status, her talent is unparalleled and she deserves every ounce of gushing the world has to offer. Manacled, is a work of art.

Manacled is how I got here... Well, technically my lovely friend is how I got here but Manacled lit a candle in the darkest corner of my mind, an area that had been collecting dust for quite awhile.

Now I'm months into my Dramione journey with zero plans of leaving anytime soon. I'm tearing through fics weekly, starting spreadsheets to keep track, and now my own works are slowly coming to life. Yes, I am googling things like "How to best utilize Tumblr" and "How do I create traction in AO3" like the fucking dinosaur I am... But I'm so happy. My mind is alight and writing again feels like coming home. Reading about Draco and Hermione literally fills my cup, it's bloody pathetic but I'm not sorry.

Now I notice little smutlings all around me! How long have you bitches been hiding this from me!? Where has this been all my reading life!?

If you're momming so hard and need an easy hobby, fucking run (digitally) to the Kindle App and download some smut. Seriously, join whatever pages you ned for recs if you don't have someone to help you- light the fire.

If you enjoy fandom, explore archiveofourown.org, there are some absolutely amazing (and hot) stories there for every fandom under the sun.

And if you are an avid Harry Potter fan looking to turn it up 75 notches with the best character building you've ever seen, come find us. Join us. You won't regret it.

[plasma-packin-mama]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

AWWW hi Astra, thank you!!

Hmm I feel like a lot of times as of late, I'm already a bit unsatisfied with my works as soon as I've finished them. It's a good thing because it means I'm learning, but not the best feeling anyway. I think it's an important skill as an artist to learn to love your works even if you see flaws with them, because there's always some element to appreciate, and creation in itself is beautiful. Here's some things from this blog that I still like:

Of course I have to put my comic here. I'm not too happy with a lot of the art in it to be completely honest, but I know that I worked very hard on it, and it was a big step for me to put something so personal out for others to see for the first time. I'm generally very private about my identity, so I was very nervous to broadcast something that talked so directly about that subject, even if it was actually about Delilah's story. (I've never tried to hide the fact that I put a lot of myself into Delilah lol) I still go back and reread the feedback I got on that comic sometimes because it makes me so happy to see others connecting with and feeling "seen" by my work. I never expected so much kindness. I think the reception of this comic is stored forever in my brain like one of the Core Memories from Inside Out. Thank you so much to everyone who left me feedback of any kind on that work, because I'm sure it means more to me than you really expected.

This is from very early in my blog when I first met @/thebigolbee and I worked SO hard on it because I felt so lucky that such a great and popular artist like Bee was doing an art trade with me! 😭😭 About nine months later I think we draw each other's OCS about as much as we draw our own- so I guess it worked out lol! I spent a long time on the line art for this one and I think it turned out really nice :)

I'm very proud of the background in this drawing, and I think the characters came out cute as well even though they're just a doodle. I get lazy with backgrounds most of the time so it was a good exercise. It was fun to work on!!!

This was a drawing I did when I was really struggling with art, I tried to loosen up (the hardest thing ever for me lol) and just go with the flow and honestly, even though it's nothing too special I still just really enjoy something about it!!! It's fun I think! (I have to draw Delilah during that period of their life more...)

ACK. This Frankenstein drawing that I picked at for so long and eventually just didn't finish the background for. I really love the characters and the mood of the piece, even though i intended to add much more detail to the room they're in. I think sometimes it's ok to leave things "unfinished" instead of just agonizing over it and never letting it see the light of day.

Valentine's drawing. It really surprised me how this became one of my most popular posts because I didn't really expect anyone to notice it!!! I drew it 1000% for myself, because happy sparkly characters being happy together are my favorite to draw. But apparently everyone else also likes that! A good lesson. (Maybe it was just bc everyone loves Ms. Rae Jepsen's musical stylings as much as me...)

I'm really proud of all the art that I did for high fantasy au, but this one especially because I worked very hard with my markers and I feel like it came out well!! I'm really awful at utilizing color in an interesting way-- I get nervous about ruining stuff by adding the wrong color the wrong place, but I think I did really well this time!!

I think that's enough!! It was really nice to look back at all my old works - I was actually surprised by how many things I still like despite their age!!! I do feel very positive after writing this post, so thank you for sending this along to me Astra!! :] I encourage everyone to do this, really go through your works and think about what you've learned from each one and why it's still nice!!

[oberheaven]

"It's what I do." A starting post sharing some of my favorite commissions and explaining my deal.

Hey Everyone, name’s Oberheaven! I'm gonna cut to the chase, the art isn't mine and any future art will probably not be mine too. The credit to the artist will be somewhere in the post with em, if they even want em posted in the first place.

This top piece belongs to @meatgiri on Twitter and on Tumblr.

I may lack artistic talent but I still have ideas exploding in my head and the greens to make em come alive through commissioning people with talent!

This one is by @inkuusan on twitter.

I am a big fan of 3 specific things and I will make sure you know em with each piece I comm by sprinkling then into the piece one way or another. If you somehow happen to miss em, they are...

Gwenpool (With her long gone friend Cecil specifically)

NieR Automata (9S specifically)

Transformers (More Than Meets The Eye (2016) comic specifically)

I love doing this as a hobby, it helps me find like-minded people who like 1 outta the 3 things and then slowly get em interested in the other 2.

And while I don't have Artistic talent, I try to be as creative as possible with other outlets outside of these, like writing or even brainstorming new looks!

Art by @aBitterSellout on Twitter, dialogue by me! (See a pattern yet? And these even have cute, new lil outfit ideas I came up for em.)

Here's a link to a Twitter moments with all the SFW pieces I've comm'd, with artist credits.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1386108145668431875?s=20

I love doing this and I hope I will get to share my money bought creativity to you all. maybe in Fanfic form or toybox form soon!

These 2 were made by me. Super old and unshareable imo, but whatever It's An Introduction! I'm Putting It All Out There!

[twimshi]

PLATONIC REIGEN X READER

In which Reigen and YN make a bet

A snippet of chapter 5 of chilli flakes on AO3. The current chapter takes place in middle school

“No I don't get it, run me over your plan again"

“All...I'm saying h-hah god...is that we should participate in the twin bicycle competition f-for our hah school, I hate the stairs”

Reigen stared at her suspiciously “YN….you are literally out of breath as we speak.”

The school cultural festival was starting soon, everyone was getting ready to make their fair buck for their own booth. They had walked past the school bulletin board while taking out the trash and saw the sign.

Come all students, let's all participate in the once a year school canteen program !! where you show off your class’s hidden talents

You can sell food, open cafes, and many more (with terms and conditions) 

YOU CAN ALSO COMPETE IN OUR ANNUAL WRITING/BAKING/COOKING COMPETITION THAT WILL BE HELD IN OUR SCHOOL’S AUDITORIUM 

 

YN turned a blind eye while Reigen saw the reward.

Students can win prizes such as a 

-10000YEN

-5000YEN

-Second-hand camera

 

He totally wanted one of them, Reigen grabbed one of the posters, ripping it from the school board. It might be vandalism, but nobody was there to see, so it's not technically vandalism.

Reigen then shook YN, who was beside him “YN LOOK!” He shoved the piece of paper in her face “I can't exactly see anything...IF YOU'RE SHOVING IT IN MY FACE” She comically yelled back, snatching the piece of paper “Okay...and?” 

“Is that the only reaction you're gonna give me?” He said he wasn't getting a reaction, so he placed the paper in his hand pointing “Idiot, look at the prize.”

YN rolled her eyes before letting them wonder about the paper “So? Reigen Arataka, we need'th not spend our time on such childish activities” she gripped the paper and started glowing.

The school’s way of competition was super rigged, Komina participated in all three competitions which were not allowed but she did anyway. Every year, Komina (a mean girl) would win just because that's why YN was so hesitant in joining.

"You can do it, but I am not" She makes a serious face.  

“C'mon YN doesn't give me that look, I know you want to participate” She giggled “Was my tsundere look that convincing?” 

“Please, you couldn't even fool a fly” In reality, Reigen was totally not fooled by YN’s acting skills and did not in fact get worried. 

YN and Reigen walked down the halls, skipping club activity to hide in a secluded part of the school where no teachers would walk since it was ‘haunted’ but the two teens lived for the unknown and just went along.

This was a routine for Reigen and YN, skip club, hang out, gossip about the art teacher and so on - they would smuggle PokeMob cards inside the sole of their shoes to get away with bringing what the school likes to call ‘contraband’

“Anyways….Are you serious about this?” YN quired taking a right “Yeah for sure, I was thinking you could participate in the pie-making comp-”

“Since when were you deciding my plans Arataka? We’re not even married yet”

“U’huh okay anyways, you always talked about how your grandma made pies, I thought we could y’know do that” They reached towards a door that was loose enough for them to squeeze their tiny bodies between

YN looks at him thoughtfully before replying “Well, I do…..but it's not that often..” 

“I pay attention... when you ramble” 

“Sap” Cute

“Shut up” He gently shoved YN and got their PokeMob cards ready to play.

YN pondered while shuffling her deck, if she were to participate in this competition she would have to ask her mother for money for the ingredients since she highly doubted the school could prepare jack shit for them.

“Hmm, I’ll think about it” She placed her fully evolved Magikarp down to eliminate Reigen's legendary “Pikachu'' card “You may win with luck my friend but…..never underestimate me at a card game.”

Reigen laid his head on the wall, hitting it in the process “Dangit! I thought I had this one” Every time they would play PokeMob YN had instantatioly won every game she played with Reigen, the game was more on intuition than luck - which normally would work in Reigen's favor, but sadly, YN was a God.

She grabbed a deck of cards, holding it as if she was a news reporter “Incoming news, REIGEN FUCKING SUCKS AND.I.RULE” She shoved all her glory in Reigens face, which to be fair was quite an amusing sight.

RING

 

“That's our queue to leave” They packed their belongings and made their way carefully towards to main school grounds, fortunately all the teachers were zombies t notice the teens make their way out of the closet together “I have made my decision Arataka” she stopped mid-walk that also made Reigen stop in his tracks.

“I’ll be participating in the pie competition~” She was going to do this for many reasons, to make her granny proud and…

“In return, if I do~” 

“Huh, what do-” She shushed him with her finger “Shush dear boy, I mean if I win at least third you will be my wife” Reigen was in disbelief, he shook his head frantically “No no nope” He said, popping the ‘p’. He wasn't mad, just confused? “What do I even get out of this?” He wasn't mad, it was just confusion?

“Simple. If you win, then I’ll be your wife”

Reigen did not just blush, he was absolutely not embarrassed.

He was now shushing her “D-Don't say that type of things” God why was YN so shameless at times like this.

“Psh, c’mon Juliet~ I want to teach you something today, let's go” They walked out of school, Reigen knew YN didn't mean much from what she said, knowing the girl she could accidentally tell a student she had a pole and everyone would think she actually had POLIO which was completely off - but since some of her classmates would mishear her over the recess they thought otherwise and showed up to her table with flowers and goodbye cards. This may or may not have happened last month, they don't talk about it.

A small rustle and giggle could be heard from behind them, Reigen snapped his head left and right to see if anyone was eavesdropping on their conversation, there was no one.

The duo set their way towards the local market before heading to their little spot, scanning the foods YN decides not to buy anything as Reigen buys his soft drink. Setting it on the counter he looks at the girl “You not buying anything YN?”

“..Nah, I wanna save it for another day” Reigen shrugged, a little suspicious of her action, he did know how to read people after all.

He grabbed a chocolate bar and placed it on the counter “Hey I'm not buying anything-”

“Uhuh, you say that now but come steal my food, don't worry about it. It's on sale anyways” YN looked slightly guilty but did not reject the offer. 

They both skipped to the garden eating/drinking their snacks to only get stomach cramps on their sides “We should not have skipped-ow” YN clutched her stomach as Reigen and her limped their way to a dry flower patch to sit down

“Soo, what do you have in mind we do today?” YN reached to her pocket pulling out tomato seeds “Well, i thought maybe since I've been here for what 69 years we should-”

“YN that is not possible-”

“Shush boy, as I was saying. I always respected this place, watering the plant and stuff and maybe I want to leave my mark here. Hence, this” She waved the seeds in front of him 

Reigen squinted his eyes “You want to plant a….what is that?” 

YN called him over to the soil patch “Well these my friend, are daisies” Reigen let her continue “I heard that their super low maintenance and look” she pointed at the sidewalk of the entrance “They even grow on concrete”

“Why do you even have seeds in the first place?”

“Well for starters it's just the yellow part of the flower and I walk to school and collect them”

Reigen thinks, then replied shrugging his shoulders “Sounds weird but I guess that's nice, we ought to decorate this place with some of our things anyways”

“Woah daisies are pretty rough huh, the government should use them for war and….stuff” They both thought about bombing Komina’s house at that moment but didn't fancy the thought of cleaning up Komina’s body. Well YN thought that, not Reigen.

YN digs a small hole trying to loosen the soil a little, Reigen placing the seeds in before covering them in soil “I think that ought to do it” She says admiring her handicraft “Now we have to water it every dayyyyy”

“Dude we come here like...almost every day”

“True……” YN leaned on him with her dirty soil-filled hands “Then?”

He just looked away, his face scrunched up “Ugh, I didn't want to say this now but it's about my mom...” YN didn't move, still on him “Oh yes Mrs.Mom, what did she have to say? I hope I get more leftovers, my mom hasn't been cooking much lately”

A sigh left his mouth, it was dry despite him drinking only a minute ago “I don't...don't know if we can hang out after this month a lot…” YN got up “If you want space I totally don't-”

“No! That's not it...It's…..It's about me and you changing…. OH yea I don't wanna miss watching adventure mob, yea adventure mob, we won't be able to record it” It was a lie but he couldn't tell her, not yet - another time, not when their friendship is on the line

YN sighed in relief. She knew he might be hiding something, but maybe he wasn't. She was being a little too paranoid. Slapping Reigen in the back, she laughed “Phew dude, you scared me for a second, getting all serious and stuff”

He tried to laugh, but it came out sounding like a choking cat “H-hehe, totally..” Changing the topic he chirps in “So you're participating in the pie competition?”

“Oh yeah, I am. You're doing the essay one, right?”

The knots in his stomach grew “Yup, I'm a little worried”

“Why? You're on top of the class for your amazing essays, I'm sure you can write an amazing story or something”

The way she worded it seemed so easy. “Yeah but….what if..” 

What if he couldn't do it? What if he just made a fool of himself? What if-

She stroked his hair gently, pulling him out of his thoughts “Hey ‘Taka, if anyone were to win that competition and make me their wife, I'm sure it's you”

The way she so shamelessly said it made Reigen not react, he was going to make her proud.

He leaned into her touch, taking a deep breath while taking her hand in his, shaking in an awkward position with a smile.

“May the best wife win”

[Hope you guys enjoy this!! Tiny reigen and YN bring me so much joy I can't even explain it, and yes platonic is like the best way to go with these cuties]

[boba-beom]

fr you can take them everywhere without having to buy/carry some heavy ass amp 🫠 aww that is so cute though that the guitar has been with you for that long🥺 i have a classical guitar that's been with me since i was 13 and an electric one that's been with me ever since i was 15 i think?

anyways, i've always thought about attaching one of those devices to my classical guitar so i could turn it into electric-acoustic as well, but i feel like when it comes to electric acoustic guitars, it's always better to buy one and not diy one.

i love how this is something we have in common though🥺

the middle school i went to required us to learn different pieces on the flute and get graded on them. we had a book all about it and that's how i learned hehe. it is indeed a beautiful instrument though and i find it fascinating how you can produce different sounds through it just with your breath. and it's honestly pretty easy to learn and with your musical background, i'm sure you'd pick it up really quick :") ahh, the harp is such a magical instrument. it's so calming and relaxing <3 wooow i'm always highly impressed by people who can play the violin, because it's not easy instrument at all. and self taught piano? respect. are you secretly a music genius too? 👀👀

my best friend actually taught me some piano and i also learned some things on my own, but i haven't played the piano that much ever since he moved across the world :/ nowadays, i mostly use the piano when i'm trying to guess the chords/notes in a song.

it's always nice to hear the perspective of other people on creative work tbh, cause everyone perceives things differently. i think that's my favorite thing about literature - how subjective it is🥺

ah, i see. i didn't know that. and thank you smiles🥺 have you had any time to look at txt's tour? ash blue taehyun has me WEAK to my knees fr wow it looks so good on him!! i think you really manifested that into reality. also the choreography to tinnitus is so good, i just love groovy it is. also the way soobin and taehyun did their parts, whoosh, i'm dizzy. anyway, beomgyu really ate it up, i think tinnitus suits him so much.🥺 and also the choreography for farewell neverland is so beautiful like wow, i have no words?? they all looked so stunning and the vocals were so good.

p.s: black is one of favorite haircolors on soob but i kinda miss blond hair soob, it looked so good on him. also whoever has been styling kai's hair so far needs a raise, because he looks way too good.

I did used to have a classical guitar before my dad gifted me the electro-acoustic one. but yes, I guess you could diy it, it's just a hassle and a little tedious but some electro-acoustics are pricey too, especially now with inflation 😭 but omg you have an electric one!! and how is it? I also love how we have that in common, I feel like I love talkingt o people about guitars and I can go on for a while hehe

I wouldn't say music genius 🤭 I've just always been interested in performing and doing covers. It's funny actually, because I could never do a speech in front of my class but I could perform a set of songs in front of majority of my high school peers, I just find it fun that way

I never actually got graded for piano and I've wanted to take lessons but with the pace of how my life was and is going I feel like I wouldn't have the time atm :< maybe in the future I'll pick it up again. I do have a keyboard in my room and the last song I learnt was billie eilish' my future. omg trying to find chords and notes by ear can be hard, unless you have perfect pitch? 👀 but that's nice that you learn from someone else, it's fun like that.

you're so right, like music, art, writing — they're all subjective and it's up to how people interpret it, I love it :>

omg YES I can't believe you remembered me manifesting periwinkle blue tyun hehe, it really does suit him and I hope his hair colour stays like that throughout the whole tour. I still have hope that I'll see them late this year IF they release europe/uk tour dates. the choreo for tinnitus is SO CATCHY like the vibes and the whole lot is just a masterpiece 🤭 farewell, neverland really is beautiful. something about that gives me contemporary dance and I love that for them, especially hueningkai's solo that he does? they're so graceful I love it. oh and blue spring? I told myself I need to go to their concert so I can hear them sing it and sing it with them. I got emotional the first time I heard it. all the emotion is there and again, another tubatu x moa song <3 they really love us :')

I was really hoping soobin would be a different colour but black, solely because he went from black hair, to blonde and to black hair again :(( I was hoping he'd be a light brown at least but black does suit him a lot. as for kai, his hair styled so far has been beautiful. oh and yeonjun and beomgyu with their long hair? long hair tubatu has a special place in my heart, honestly 💕

how have you been, lovely?

[espressothegoat]

I wanna take a minute to gush about Rat, since she's my oldest still-active OC and one of my favorite characters, and also one who's changed dramatically from her original design.

So sit back, buckle up, and listen as I take you through a story that I care deeply about but probably won't matter to anyone else.

Version 1: The Street Rat

She also had a pet mouse on her shoulder. Cute, right? Sadly that detail was forgotten in later versions. Maybe I should bring it back.

I created Rat in 2018 as a D&D character, of all things. In the fantasy setting she was an orphaned thief with a sharp tongue and a heart of gold, trying to redeem herself with the thieves guild after an unfortunate... falling out, let's say.

Her name came from the idea that everyone she stole from would call her a "dirty rat" as she fled, so much so that she took the name for herself. It was better than nothing, and a great in-universe explanation for my horrible pun.

At least it wasn't something stupidly obvious like Katia, or worse, Kat'la. Is the foreshadowing obvious enough yet? I can't tell.

Unfortunately that particular game didn't even last a full session, but I was able to reuse the same character later that year for a different homebrew game another friend was running.

Around 2019 I doodled a version of Rat in a futuristic setting, partially for fun and mostly because I wanted to draw a character in an outfit I had seen online. The setting stuck, and Rat went from a fantasy rogue to a futuristic thief. Not quite cyberpunk yet, but getting there.

Version 2: The Lost Years

Trouble was I didn't know how to use her, and once the homebrew game ended Rat fell by the wayside. I redesigned her several times for different projects, trying to fit her in somewhere. She reappeared as Katia (noo!) In an abandoned near-future setting, and again as Kat'la (noooo!) in a space fantasy story I was working on, but didn't quite fit.

Told you those names were stupid.

In 2021 I was inspired to redraw her futuristic design, refining her character and personality. This version was made more intense, more dangerous, a fighter. Fitting the catlike elements of her design, she liked to play with her quarry, taunting and teasing them before her blades found their target.

In the chaos of college and the early pandemic I misplaced several sketchbooks, including the one with Rat's original design in it. That was disheartening, and I set her aside to work on other projects.

But I still wasn't quite happy with her, and a certain goat had caught my interest, so once again she fell by the wayside.

Version 3: The Cyberpunk Era

Earlier this year while moving apartments, I found the misplaced sketchbook with the original drawing of Rat. Inspired, I decided to knuckle down and redesign her once more in a way that I could finally be happy with.

Her color scheme was first, throwing away the gray colors, keeping the red, and adding a nice teal accent for a pop of contrast. Then I updated her look to suit a cyberpunk setting, where ears and a tail could be easily explained through body modification. Her outfits were updated as well, keeping the sleek and practical form-fitting look but improving the design.

This version is back to being a thief, using her reflexes, speed, and intelligence to avoid being seen, and to escape when she's detected. She's playful and carefree, teasing her pursuers as she slips through their fingers once again and vanishes into the fog. But she's also reckless and overconfident, jumping headfirst into dangerous situations without a plan.

So why am I sharing all of this?

Well, cos I'm a nerd, and I enjoy gushing about my characters. But also because I'm planning to explore Rat's story and the world of Neo Pacifica further. I love this version of Rat, and I think she would make a fine protagonist in the cyberpunk setting I've started piecing together for her.

I'm not entirely sure how I'll approach it. Art and writing are obviously options, and I've always wanted to try making a comic... in any case, it'll probably be a while before it sees the light of day.

But yeah that's the whole story. If you made it this far, congratulations! Thanks for putting up with my rambling.

[sabertoothalex]

One of the exercises my therapist has had me do before is to put some kind of form to my anxiety. She says that being able to picture it as something worth having empathy for, maybe a cute little rabbit or a younger version of myself, would help me transform it from hostile entity to something able to be soothed. I've never been very good at this exercise. Sometimes I'll lie and say I've done it just to move on but the actual form it takes is usually the same. It is dark sludge coursing through my body. It is viscous and slightly shiny, thickly reflecting myself back at me. It burns when you touch it, it stinks when you smell it, and knowing that it is always inside of me makes me want to scream. How are you supposed to deal with that?

This poem appeared in a book I'm currently reading. The book is about how to write and this chapter was specifically about the different voices in ourselves, our "mental illnesses", that keep us paralyzed and unsure. It had an immediate impact on me. I've never seen this exact sentiment put into words quite this way before. The first time I read it I was slightly confused and unsure what I thought about it. It seemed mean because by the end it appeared to confirm my worst fears about the subject: that they're a disaster and demand unreasonable things from those around them. This quickly flipped on a second read, of course this is satirical, and by my tenth read I felt as thought I had found some great truth inside of it. Like the best writing, and sometimes poetry specifically is best suited to this, it introduces a scalpel to some feeling deep in you. It cuts it out and lays it down, separated from the rest of you, able to be turned over and looked at and examined in a way that you couldn't before when it was buried inside of the pieces of yourself that give you life.

The concept of the group meeting discussing whatever latest stupid thing you've said or done spoke to so many moments in my life. It's something that has been happening in my mind for my entire life basically. The idea that somewhere out there the people you've entrusted yourself to are speaking of you negatively, they're out there pouring over your words to find flaws, plotting how to hurt you. It feels comical to type out, this grand conglomerate of Kingdom Hearts-esque villains, sitting with their arms crossed atop massive chairs, deliberating on how to deal with you. I'm extremely susceptible to the kind of thinking the poem describes though. My brain is in a fairly constant miasma of wondering if I said the right thing, have I made a complete fool of myself, is everyone around me secretly having conversations about how terrible I am. At the heart of it is desperately wanting to be accepted in the face of what my brain is telling me is for sure rejection. I feel like this need for acceptance is fairly universal, and I feel deeply for everyone out there who struggles like this as well.

The book contextualizes it in relation to writing and the voices that grind against us, triggering paranoia and deep uncertainty. It says that the poem is an example of turning ugly feelings into something "artistic and true." I melted when I read this. I'm not saying anything unique here about turning bad feelings into good art but I do think it's sometimes hard to imagine positive coming from negative. And the second part was what really hit me: the truth of it. Reading this poem felt so vivid and full of experience, it was like a pair of arms gently draping over my shoulders and a voice whispering that I am not alone. This is I think something I always want to impart in my writing whether it's a subtle attempt to poke at an emotion or a big loud screaming thematic framework. The dark sludge is truth and making sense of that truth may be never ending but it can be beautiful.

[joshstambourine]

A Seconds Glance

"Hi I have a request for either Josh or Jake 💛 can I get a story where they see a girl, either at school or they can already be famous in this, and is instantly enamored. I don't know if you've seen The Virgin Suicides, but if you have then something similar to when Trip sees Lux for the first time. I'm interested in how those two would go about getting a girl's attention when they have a crush.💕💕💕" - Anonymous

//Hi Doll! I can’t say I have seen that--- but I will try my best to write something that I feel matches the idea you had. 

I’m gonna be repeating this forever--- but again, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this request out for you! I decided to go with Josh being in school for this one.//

Warnings: Cursing, awkward beans

Word Count: 1969

Synopsis: Josh had never really believed in love at first sight... but yet....

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader

The first day of sophomore year. For most this was just the start of another school year; a sudden reminder that a new binder or fun pencil case is exciting for all of 10 minutes when it comes to actual classes and work. But for Josh… this year felt like it was filled with possibilities. It sounds like some sort of stupid thing you'd see on a motivational calendar, but it really truly did.

Josh hadn't imagined for a second that he actually would have a chance in making music his career; and yet, he had spent all summer with his band mates playing for different occasions and pubs. All the while they were working, working hard on writing songs that they could be proud to play for others.

All of that said, Josh was returning to high-school this year with a new found amount of confidence and excitement; it showed in every step Josh took. His one hand held loosely on to the arm of his backpack, walking in time with Jake.

"But what do you think? Would it look good on me?" Jake inquired, fingers lightly playing with the mid-length pieces of hair on his head.

"I mean… I don't know…" Josh lightly starts, glancing at his twin and begins to take a good long look at him.

Jake's eyes widened just a touch, his expression becoming one that said, 'Well…?'

"Uh… honestly I don't really know Jake. I've never seen you with anything else than this." Josh admits, then snickers a little, "Except for that one time when we decided it'd be fun to take those scissors and---"

"No, that's fine, I didn't need to think about that." Jake immediately stopped him, his hand going to take a full dive into his mess of dark brown hair. 

"Cmon, it was really funny though. Ma really lost her shit when she saw your head like that." Josh continued to muse, hands folding into his pockets with the utmost of ease. 

Jake shook his head in a mournful way, "I can say I will never go back to a buzz-cut again… not without a fight."

Josh's smile never faltered, it was his laughter that changed, softening into a bit of a sigh as they reached the double doors at the front of the school. With a swing of the doors they both were making their way down the hallway to their lockers.

"Meet by Mr.Shapiro's class before lunch?" Jake questioned, to which Josh nodded. No matter which school the twins went to the teachers seemed to know that the best course of action was to keep them separated. That said Josh and Jake always had separate homerooms at least, through most of their time in school.

"See ya in a bit." Josh waved, taking a few steps back before turning on his heels and heading to his own locker.

Josh's excitement to be back in class showed on his face more than he probably would have wanted. A few pencils in his hand along with a binder filled with blank paper and tucked away dividers.  

As soon as Josh stepped into the class room his eyes were met with many familiar faces. Some of these people he had been in school with since kindergarten; like Meg, a rather tall blunt faced girl with long kinky black hair. She simply threw a peace sign Josh's way as he stepped through the doors; he eagerly returned it, bringing a small smile to Meg's lips. 

With some brisk steps Josh moved to place himself at the back of the classroom, just behind Meg. He threw his things on his desk without much thought. Despite there being a good number of kids he knew... there seemed to be equally just as many new kids. 

Leaning on his desk Josh moved closer to Meg, "Where the hell did these guys come from?" 

Meg's brow lifted as she leaned back a little, "Know the high-school on the east side?" 

"The one where you can get crack for super cheap?" Josh inquired, 

Meg's head bobbed, "They closed it down, so now we get half the kids that went there." She explains with her head resting on her hand in a bored way. 

"Oh shit really? That's a lot of kids---" Josh was quick to respond, glancing around the room. 

"Oh yeah... way too many in my personal opinion --- not that anyone cares." Meg mutters, beginning to click her mechanical pencil. 

Josh's eyes were still taking in all the new faces as he started to respond, "Wow aren't we positive today." 

Meg sighed, "Eh.... I'm just not excited, Justin and I broke up over the summer and I'll have to see him in history." She began to explain, "Things are just really tense, yknow?" 

She waited a moment for him to give some comforting... but still idiotic response, however none came. It finally got Meg to turn and look at him, as she did she immediately noticed that Josh's eyes had widened just a touch, cheeks dusted a light pink. 

Meg followed the line of his eyes to a beautiful young woman. The expression he wore was more than enough to tell Meg that she should move. 

Josh was so busy just... taking the new girl in that he didn't even notice Meg slip to the free desk to the side of the one she was previously sat in. Josh just couldn't put his finger on it, there was something... something so breathtaking about her. Was it her eyes? Or maybe how her hair fell around her face? He couldn't be sure. What he was absolutely sure of was that he had never had a moment in his life where he could hear music just by looking at someone. 

"Hey... do you know if this desk is free?" A new voice shook Josh. It was her. She was standing at a desk to his left with a bit of an awkward air. 

He was just so shaken. What did she say again? Something about a desk? Josh's lips parted, "Uh--- I uh, what did you--?" 

"No that one isn't open, but the one just in front of my dude Josh is, right Josh?" Meg interrupted, pointing to the desk ahead of him. 

"Oh y-yeah, that one's open! Definitely 100% open! It couldn't be more open even if it tried!" Josh started spouting, he really wasn't even aware that his mouth had moved, and that was clear in the fact that it just kept moving when she had come to sit down. "Do you need any pencils at all?? I have like 20!" He continued, though his hand held one full sized pencil and one shorter than the average person's pinkie... both chewed on. "I mean not on me but--- who needs a pencil right?" 

The girl laughed a little awkwardly, her gaze moving from Josh to Meg and then to the desk. "No, no I'm okay thank you though." She slipped into the chair, keeping her gaze frontwards. 

Meg looks to Josh with a shocked look, 'What was that??' She mouthed, 

Josh responded with an absolutely mortified expression. He would never say he was the smoothest guy on the planet, but he had never been that awkward in his life. 

Meg shook her head before reaching out to tap the girl's shoulder, "I'm Meg!" She introduces, "And that goober is Josh." 

The girl lightly moved to glance over her shoulder at Josh in a shy way. "It's nice to meet you both. I'm (Y/N)." She hummed with a sweet smile. 

"That's a pretty name, isn't it Josh??" Meg quickly said, trying to get him to continue the conversation in a less awkward way.

Josh nodded very enthusiastically, "The prettiest name I've heard in a long time!" He said with a smile, 

(Y/N)'s cheeks began to hold a flush of their own. "Oh! Uh... th-thank you!" She sputtered out. 

'OH FUCK. She's so cute.' Josh thought to himself, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat with a shaky swallow. 

Little did Josh know that (Y/N) was thinking something very similar. She might not make it as obvious as he was, but being so much closer now... being able to see the warmth in his brown eyes, seeing how his wavy brown hair came to cup his cheeks --- she couldn't help but continue to stare back at him. 

The only thing that could pull them both out of the little trance they had fallen into was the bell. Both of them quickly looked toward it, followed by a man's voice at the front of the class. 

"Alright everyone, take your seats!" 

(Y/N) was reluctant but she turned herself to look toward the front of the class. A little bit nervous, but mustering an ounce of courage she tore a piece of paper from her notebook quietly and began to scribble something down. 

Josh hardly got anything out of that language arts class, he was way too busy trying to figure out what excuse he could make to talk with (Y/N) again. He was just rattling through every little conversation starter he had ever heard in his life... but none of them felt like they would work. 

Before long the bell had rung overhead once more and everyone was shuffling to grab their things and head to all of their next classes. 

Biting his lip, Josh was determined to catch (Y/N) before she could head off to her own next class. Luckily for him she had a similar idea. Both turning to each other as they stepped out of the classroom, it was painfully quiet at first. It seemed as if they were trying to get their thoughts together really. 

Finally they spoke, 

"Hey would you---" "I was wondering if you'd---" 

At once. 

A small awkward laugh left their lips, "Please, go ahead I was going to say something dumb---" Josh quickly said moving to rub the back of his neck. 

(Y/N)'s lips parted as she let out and unsure chuckle, eyes moving downwards for a moment. "I was just going to ask if you would mind if I joined you for lunch? I just am new and don't really have any---" 

"Yes!" Josh quickly said, "Yes absolutely. You didn't even have to ask, you could have just showed up if you wanted to!" He quickly says to her. 

The speed he seemed to talk at entertained (Y/N) a heck of a lot. A smile creeping across her face, "Okay! Thank you!" She responded. 

"Do you know where the cafeteria is? I can show ya if you want??" Josh quickly continued, "I mean I'm sure you could find it on you're own, you seem very smart and capable. Most women are to be honest; I remember reading an article about how men need to---" 

"That would be really great actually." (Y/N) smiled in a gentle way. 'He's even more nervous than I am.' She thought to herself. 

"Oh-oh! Okay cool! Uh, do you know where Mr.Shapiro's class is?" He asks, 

(Y/N) seemed to think for a minute, "113... right? I have him for chemistry this afternoon I think." She mutters. 

Josh swiftly nods his head, "That's the one!! Meet me there okay?" He says. 

(Y/N) nodded back, understanding the little plan they now had. "I'll see you in a little bit then?" She lightly asks. 

"Yeah absolutely." Josh began to grin, suddenly beyond excited. Even as she began to walk off to her class all he could think about was how sure he was now that this year was going to be fantastic. 

That was until a warning bell played overhead, "Oh shit--" Josh jumped in shock, immediately beginning to run to his next class.

//That's all for now lovely! I do actually have an idea on how to continue this one if anyone would like! Pretty please let me know in the comments if that's something you guys would like 💜//

[boymeetsweevil]

Call me maybe

Grouping: Reader x Namjoon

Word Count: ~6.59k

Warnings/Themes: Club meet-cute AU, 1% angst +99% suggestive fluff, (legal!) alcohol consumption, language, flirting anxiety(?)

Summary: It all started with a stupid drinking game...

A/N: this is the One Direction wattpad-style fanfic that's been haunting me for so long. beware of that and the fact that this is unedited hahaha...

“You know the rules, girls. Whoever wins this round of rock-paper-scissors is It.”

You and your three friends, warm and bubbly from 2 rounds of shots at this point in the evening, assume your battle stances and stick your hands into the center of your table. Four hands make a square over the scattered layer of empty decorative shot glasses from the bar in the club.

There’s an air of electric excitement that comes with this game, lovingly nicknamed Hunter-Gathering. Whoever is It gets a target and has to pursue that target in hopes of bringing ‘home’ free drinks for everyone the rest of the night. But no matter how attractive the target is, you can't ever bring them home.

“Wait, wait!” Lia chimes in. “I can’t be It this time. I did it twice already and my ass still hurts from the last time.”

Dani nods seriously. “Fair enough. That means the odds are upped for the rest of you.”

“So, we’re just gonna ignore that ass thing,” another friend, Alexa, looks around the table with confused eyes.

“Do you actually want me to give you the details?” Lia smiles slowly at her from across the table.

Alexa’s face brightens with her own smile, worry evaporated. “You know what? I don’t! Never mind.”

The game begins and somehow you find yourself the lone rock amongst two pairs of scissors. Alexa and Dani laugh with relief because they don’t have to put in any work tonight. You roll your eyes to the heavens and silently question your karma.

“Are you ready to pick your target?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Dani grins.

She steps forward and grabs a clean face mask out of her clutch bag and wraps it around your eyes, careful not to muss your makeup or hair. Three pairs of hands rest on your shoulders and you let them spin you lightly around a few times. Not enough to get you dizzy but just enough to make sure you don’t know what direction you’re facing anymore.

“Alright,” Dani’s voice sounds out over the music of the club. “Take your pick!”

You stick your hand out blindly and someone unties the makeshift blindfold. Everyone follows the line your hand makes all the way to a tall figure standing by the side of the bar.

He’s probably the most handsome man any of you have seen in a while. There's an intimidating aura emanating from him. You figure it's the understated all-black outfit complete with the heinously expensive watch he's wearing and the sheer height of him as he towers over people near him at the bar.

“Oh my god,” Dani whispers as you all take in the stranger’s face.

“We can finally get top shelf vodka,” Alexa pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Not bad,” Lia hums in appreciation.

“Okay, why is everyone acting like I bagged him already?” Your voice grows high with nerves. “I'm pretty sure I have, like, a 2% chance of interesting him."

“What are you so worried about?” Dani crosses her arms at you. “Just do whatever you did to get those history nerds to help you out that one time."

"This is not the same thing. Those guys parted their hair 90/10 unironically and thought Diva Cups are for when you don't want to hold your pee when you stand in line for roller coasters."

"You're kidding," Lia gasps. You wish you were.

"Well, just pretend he's one of them anyway." Dani suggests, "Every guy is the same."

You can't argue with that logic.

“I mean, I can try flirting with him, but he’s probably so used to people throwing themselves at him. I don’t think anything I do would, like, make a dent, you know?”

“Babe, no. No—listen to me, okay?” Alexa takes you by the shoulders and forces you around so you can see how serious she is.

“Tonight is the last free night of vacation. After tonight, we have less than a day to get over our hangovers, pack up the Airbnb, and then catch our 6am flight back home to start the spring term. Our last night of freedom lies in your hands.”

“But, what if—”

“No ‘but’s. Do you see yourself? Do you see your skin in this fresh white two piece? Have you seen how your tits look in this off the shoulder top? That poor man doesn’t stand a chance!”

Lia murmurs her agreement in the background and Dani mentions something about fearing for the guy's soul. You think about the freakishly good pictures you all took in the stylish club bathroom when you first arrived.

“I see your point.”

You turn back toward the bar to review your target. He sips from a dark green bottle as he looks around at the people on the dance floor between your table and the bar. As he continues to scan the room, he locks eyes with you. You hold his gaze even though your instincts are screaming at you to duck for cover. Surprisingly, he gives a small smile and raises his bottle in salute.

"See, you got the hardest part down already. Just fake the rest until you make it."

You chance a look back in his direction only to catch him staring in the direction of the table. When he catches your gaze again, he whips his head away, cheeks tinging pink under the soft yellow lighting at the bar.

Alexa cackles and starts detailing all the drinks she wants made with the top shelf vodka. Lia and Dani discuss leaving early to go back and clean up the apartment so it’s clean in case you break the rules and bring this guy back for the night.

“Uh, aren’t you guys moving a little fast?”

“Aren’t you moving a little slow,” Alexa counters.

“Hold on, Lex.” Dani turns to you. “You know you don’t actually have to do this if you don’t want to, right? Hunter-Gathering is just a game, there's no pressure.”

For all their poking and teasing, you're reminded right then and there that your friends would never put you in a situation where they thought you were actually at any risk. The weight you felt on your shoulders lightens somewhat.

“No, no, I definitely still want to play, I just don’t want you guys to get your hopes up.”

“I believe in you.���

Lia bumps shoulders with you quietly. She’s not the most affectionate, so you know she really means it.

“I’ll do my best.”

You let them tweak you a little bit, fixing stray hairs and wiping away smeared lip gloss and hiking up your skirt, giving you their drink orders, before you grab your purse and phone and push in your stool.

When you finally make it to the bar, he’s in the same spot as you first found him in. He spots you once you get close enough and naturally makes room for you. You set your bag on the bar countertop before hopping up on the empty stool immediately in front of him. The movement causes your skirt to ride up even more and you’re glad you only let Lia hike it up one inch instead of three.

Dani's advice about treating this guy like any other scrub from school reverbs in the back of your head right as the nerves start to set in. With the guys in your art history class, your grade was on the line. There was no room for hesitation when you could barely draw a stick figure, much less write an essay analyzing what an old painting style could tell you about the dairy economy in a certain town like some of your classmates were doing. It was because you were desperate that you were suddenly able to transform into a femme fatale. It also helped that these guys quivered at any interaction with an adult woman.

Tonight's drinks are on the line, you tell yourself. As best you can, you try to trick yourself into entering the same mindset you were in when you would lay on the charm extra thick for the art history guys.

You let the corner of your mouth lift up in a coy smile while you survey the bar. The bartender is moving back and forth quickly to handle the high demand. A second later the girl next to you leaves her spot with a tray of 8 bright pink drinks, practically glowing in the dark. You wonder briefly if you should try to get a round of those for the table.

“—one of those before?”

His voice is deep and pleasant. When you give him a look over your shoulder, you have to suppress a gasp. Up close he's even more handsome. You really have your work cut out for you.

“What?"

"That neon pink drink," he nods back in the direction of the girl who'd taken the cotton candy pink drinks with her. "I was wondering if you'd tried them before."

“No, I haven’t,” you smile, letting your lips part slowly. His eyes dart from your painted eyes to the colored stretch of your mouth and then quickly back up. “Have you?”

“No. But I like to try new things.”

You purse your lips as if in thought, something you've seen other girls do while flirting with guys at school. “You must be pretty unpredictable, then.”

“Huh? Well, I wouldn’t say that.” He stammers a bit and nearly drops his beer bottle trying and failing to put it down. All the intimidation you felt coming from him earlier seems to have disappeared.

“I was just kidding.”

Like it has a mind of its own, your hand reaches out to rest on his arm reassuringly while you continue to laugh at him. His features clear up then and a relieved smile blooms on his face, bringing out an adorable dimple with it.

“You’re teasing me,” he realizes with a good natured huff and steps into your touch.

“You seem kinda fun to tease.” You let your hand linger a little longer before finally pulling it back.

“It’s kinda fun. You're pretty good at it.”

Oddly enough, this isn't as difficult for you as you thought it was going to be. In fact, you find yourself naturally tilting your head and fixing him with an intrigued look from under your lashes. He takes the opportunity to look you over as well, a small smile on his lips.

The personal attention does make you a little nervous despite the fact that it’s positive. So you dig in your purse to avoid looking directly at him for too long and to give your hands something to do. You brush up against a tube of lip gloss, pull it out, and reapply some to your lips.

You look back at him when you realize he’s grown quiet, only to find him following the movements of the gloss brush tracing the curve of your lips, cheeks dusted pink and eyes half-closed like he's in some sort of trance.

Experimentally you press your lips together and then purse them to make sure the gloss is distributed evenly. The man doesn't blink once. Suddenly, all his expensive apparel and large stature aren’t so intimidating.

"Is there something on my face," you smirk.

He slow blinks down at your mouth twice before realizing you're speaking again. His eyes grow wide and he raises a ringed hand to rub at the back of his neck. The movement rustles the hair covering his ears, revealing their pink tips. Cute.

"Just looking."

You laugh a little at him again. He marvels at the way the club lighting dances around in your glossy smile.

"So, how come I've never seen you here before?"

"Well...it's the first time me and my friends have come here."

"I see." He pivots to face you and leans his closest elbow on the counter of the bar. "Are you guys new to the area?"

"You could say that, yeah."

He raises an eyebrow when you don’t elaborate. Without looking away, he raises his hand to signal to the bartender that he wants another drink. When the bartender runs right over, you realize this guy actually might be a big deal. Silently you pull your card out of your wallet as the bartender makes their way over. You figure you’ll have to spend some money before you can really ask someone like him to buy drinks for your table.

"What'll it be,” the bartender asks.

"Two of those pink drinks please," he says and before you can place any order the bartender zooms away.

While the bartender starts preparing the drinks, you turn toward him.

"Who said I wanted the pink drink?"

He grins down at you, a dimple now popping up in each cheek. "Who said it's for you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's for me."

"And what makes you so sure?" He takes a step closer to you.

"Just a hunch," you hum before crossing your legs.

The white fabric of your skirt hikes up your thighs again with the movement. You smooth your palms over the soft material.

"Nice skirt."

"Yeah? You like it?"

"I like it," he admits quietly.

"And the top?" You gesture toward the pair of straps on the matching tube top, manicured nails gliding over your décolletage. He wets his lips.

"The top too."

He reaches out one large hand to one of the straps that have fallen over your shoulder. The drag of his fingers against your bare arm as he fixes it makes you shiver. You lament the loss of contact when pulls his hand back.

The bartender arrives with your drinks then, startling the both of you out of the little staring competition that had spontaneously started. The pink drink seems to glow from within, topped with whipped cream and full of little round ice cubes made from some sort of darker rose syrup floating in the liquid like lava in a lava lamp. The color barely prepares you for the thick sweetness that floods your mouth on the first sip.

"Oh, that's kinda..."

He huffs a laugh around his own first swallow and nods in agreement.

"Not what you wanted?"

"It's just really sweet. You like it?”

He shrugs. “It’s alright. But—"

The way he cuts himself off has you confused for a moment before he's reaching towards you cautiously. You're not too sure what's going on until you feel the pad of his thumb swipe over the corner of your lips carrying away some of the whipped topping from the drink. Your eyes widen when instead of wiping the cream on one of the cocktail napkins available on the counter he brings his thumb to his own lips. In a fraction of a second the cream is gone, but you're left feeling a rush of fluttering warmth on the side of your mouth and in the center of your chest.

"You think your friends would like these?” He slides his drink to the side so he can lean on his elbow and turn to you again. Now's your chance.

“Um, I don’t think this is really their style.”

“What is their style?”

You rattle off their drinks of choice, making sure to mention their favorite brands with a sigh. Of course, whenever you play this game, the brands can change depending on the budget of whoever’s buying. This time, you make sure to name drop as much as possible, per Alexa's request.

“Sounds like your friends really know what they like.”

“Yeah, they have really…unique tastes.” You falter a little under his amused stare. “But we don’t always drink that way. I mean, not every bar even carries all those to begin with.”

“That’s true.” He nods. “This bar has every single of them, though. Pretty lucky, huh?”

“Yep,” you chirp. You’re not sure if you’re in trouble or not because he’s still smiling. He seems to be onto the game, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well, it would be a shame not to welcome you all to the city. Get whatever you want. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

You place your hand on his arm again and squeeze for good measure. You don’t miss the way his large bicep flexes under your touch. After a beat, he brings his hand up to grasp yours and holds it while signaling to the bartender again. You give him a blindingly bright smile and he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

He asks the bartender to ‘take care’ of your table tonight on him, and you realize then that you’ve won the game. The victory isn't nearly as sweet as the pink drinks from earlier. The rules prohibit you from bringing him home or going over to his place. And even if it wasn't prohibited, your vacation is basically over.

“Where are you and your friends from?

You take his hand between yours and play with some of the rings on his fingers. They’re beautiful together in an eclectic way and you wonder if someone chose them for him.

“It’s a kind of small city, not like this one. It’s really just our university and then a few surrounding towns.”

“What made you guys move here then?"

"Oh, Right." You feel guilty. "Me and my friends are just here for vacation."

He blinks at you but takes the news in stride. "Well, if you want—I know the city pretty well since I have a place here—maybe I can give you a tour of the town later this week."

"I'd love that, I really would. But we're actually leaving tomorrow."

"For real?” His eyes grow wide and he looks down at your linked hands before looking over your face. You're shocked to see his features fall.

"Yeah, it sucks."

“Damn,” he smiles bittersweet at the floor. “I wish we’d bumped into each other sooner.”

“I absolutely agree," the sound of Alexa's voice rings loud in your ear.

“Uh, hello. Did you need me for something?" Your voice is high and tight as you fix her with an accusatory stare. You're not 100% positive, but it seemed like you and he were having a moment.

"No, babe, I just wanted to come over and show you my beautiful drink. I wanted to come show my gratitude to you both for making sure we have a good last night. The girls will appreciate that. Thank you, kind sir."

“Name’s Namjoon. And no need to thank me,” he smiles at the exchange between you two and sticks out his hand. Alexa daintily lays her hand in his and he lets out an incredulous laugh before playing along and raising it to his lips.

"What a gentleman," she coos before pinching lightly at the skin of your exposed back. It's a clear message just for you, telling you that there's about to be a change in plans. "What were you guys discussing?"

"I was actually about to offer up our booth. There's more than enough room for your table if you wanted to move. Me and my team—friends definitely wouldn't mind the company."

“You don’t have to do that!” You pipe up, suddenly shy. But it's quickly dashed away as Alexa pulls out her phone and opens up the groupchat.

"Let me just ask our friends if they’d like that."

You already know the answer, so you sigh quietly and gather up your card, phone, and purse. You can’t say you won’t miss the privacy from when it was just you and Namjoon, but you’re glad to be with your friends again as well.

The move from your little table to the VIP booth is lightning fast. By the time you get your own drink, Lia and Dani are already clutching their things and vibrating with excitement near the ropes leading to the VIP booth. A few of Namjoon’s friends are chatting with them from the other side of the ropes.

Once your group trickles in, you don't miss how they all arrange themselves in the booth so you're forced to sit on the end next to Namjoon with barely any space. The only options are to let one of your legs hang off the edge of the booth the whole time or sit practically half in his lap. Alexa winks at you over the first sip of her next very expensive drink.

Namjoon's friends are occupied by your friends re-telling some of the more exciting parts of the beginning of your vacation. Some story about how 'someone' lost their top while trying to jet ski. You send a weak glare to Lia as she tries to get them to guess just whose top it was. That's what you get for experimenting with spaghetti strings, you suppose.

"Do you guys like to dance," one of his friends says after a while of vibing to the music once the chatter cools down. Hoseok, you think his name was.

"Yes, definitely." Dani remarks while re-applying lip gloss. "You know who's a great dancer?"

"Who?" Hoseok looks around excitedly.

"She's gonna say me," you groan. "Which is not even true but let’s just all move down there already, no more 20 questions."

"Just one more," she pouts. "Namjoon, do you like to dance?"

He looks down at you once he's also out the booth, that little amused smile back on his lips.

"Well, it's not really part of my day job, but I don't mind it too much."

"What's your day job," you blurt out.

"I'm a...musician."

"A musician!" Alexa rushes over to you to link arms. "Did you hear that? Namjoon’s a musician."

"I don't recognize you," Lia says and Hoseok and another one of his friends burst into quiet laughter behind her.

"You definitely won't find Joon’s pics anywhere, that's for sure," one of his friends says. The rest of them dissolve into another fit of giggles.

The club lights hide the muted pink tinge his cheeks take on, and Namjoon leads the way to the dance-floor with a chagrined roll of his eyes.

"You think he's really a musician?” You whisper to Alexa and Lia. Dani is somewhere up ahead, already dancing.

"Maybe technically. Going off the way his friends keep laughing, he's probably, like, a failed SoundCloud rapper or something."

"No failed SoundCloud rapper wears Gucci like that," Lia motions with her chin to some piece of Namjoon’s outfit.

"That's true," you hum.

"Rich parents," Alexa says simply.

You and Lia consider it and then nod.

As you settle on the dance floor, you feel the rest of your nerves drift away. Lia comes over to take a selfie with you, and the two of you flirt with the camera until she's satisfied with the photos you've taken. She grabs your hand and makes a show of spinning you around and you figure that this is how the night will go before you stumble out around 2 or 3am and drunk pack for the flight home the next morning. You let her lead you back, further into the crowd before you bump into someone.

Namjoon's large hand comes to stabilize you at your waist and Lia acts like nothing happened before dancing away, phone light illuminating her sneaky smile.

"You good?" Namjoon's voice is soft in your ear.

"Y-yeah."

"You wanna dance, or should I let you go?"

Your friends shamelessly all look at the way he curves himself around you, all with their thumbs up in encouragement. You're reminded of the way you did the same a few nights prior when Dani was getting hit on by some cute guy at a different club.

At that time it felt fun hyping her up and watching her make a move, seeing how enamored this random guy was with your friend. Of course he is, you thought at the time, she's amazing. And you remember that this is probably what's driving them tonight as well with you and Namjoon.

You chance a look at him and realize that he's come to rest his cheek lightly near your temple, a soft look in his gaze as he awaits your answer.

"Sure, let's dance."

Namjoon was telling the truth when he said he wasn't all that into dancing. But he put in enough work to be able to follow you and meet you halfway while you were grinding on him to the music.

Even when you shyly stepped away after the first few dances to return to your squealing friends, you loosened up over time with more music and drinks and found yourself naturally ending up on him again. The first few songs turned into more and more and soon you were face-to-face, with his thigh wedged between yours and a heavy palm on your lower back guiding you to the beat.

You're not sure when you decided to abandon your friends and his, but at some point you did return to the booth under the guise of checking your phones. And you did check your phone first. But soon he was crowding you toward the wall by the booth and leaving you with no air of your own.

"You're really leaving tomorrow," he sighed into a bruise he was trying to leave near the hollow of your throat. "Or did you just say that because I was some creep at a bar."

"I never thought you were a creep."

He looks down at you with disbelief before getting distracted by your kiss-swollen lips.

"I mean it. I'm just a little shy sometimes."

"What do you have to be shy about when you look like this, huh?"

"Stop," you laugh lightly and look away from him.

He'd made a comment earlier about how much he liked the pristine white two piece you wore, but you'd been inching his hand up your skirt then. Now, one of his thumbs rubs an idle pattern just below the curve of your breast.

"No, but seriously. Are you actually leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. The new term starts for us all in a few days."

"So, leave in a few days," Namjoon whines.

"That's not enough time to get ready for the term."

"But I'll be so alone without you."

He gives you an exaggerated pout that splits into a real smile when you snort at his stupid expression. He pulls you to him just a smidgen tighter then.

"Does this usually work with other girls?"

"I don't know. Never tried it with other girls," he frowns a little at you.

"Sure."

"You know me and the team almost went to Club BigHit last Saturday?"

"Oh, really? That's kinda funny." You try to imagine what might have happened if he'd come to the same club you went to earlier.

"Yeah," Namjoon's voice grows quiet. "If I hadn't gotten sick then we would have met last week."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You sure you can't miss a few days of the term?"

"Yes, I'm sure." You let out an exasperated laugh. "You can't really be this upset that an actual stranger is just passing through your life."

"No, I know. I just—," he lets his head fall forward until he's touching his forehead to yours. "It was like something clicked when I saw you. I feel like I need more time with you."

"Oh," your voice comes out a little breathier than you expected.

The same look that had flashed across his face when you first came up to him finally gets to rest on his features. You want to let him down gently because you really can't play catch up during the first week of school.

"Tell you what. I can't miss the beginning of the term but if you make a song with my name in it and it gets...say, 50,000 listens, I'll buy a ticket that same day and come meet you. Wherever you are."

He pins you with a look then, inquisitive and dark. His eyes scan your open expression for something, before whatever he finds passes the test. He stands up tall.

"And it just needs to have 50,000 listens?"

In your mind you were thinking it would be too lofty for a failed SoundCloud rapper, but something in his tone sounds like he's rising to the challenge and it makes you nervous. You spent a lot on this vacation, you can't afford to actually fly out so soon if he somehow managed to get the listens and call your bluff. Besides, targets are off limits.

"Um, actually make that 150,000. And it has to have my area code in it too." You rattle off the three digits to him and he quickly types your conditions into the notes app on his phone.

"Is that it?"

"That's it, I guess."

"Deal."

Namjoon pockets his phone and leans back into your space. Any worries you had clawing to the forefront of your mind vanish when he presses soft lips to yours once more.

A month passes.

You don't end up having a one-night-stand with Namjoon because it wouldn't be fair to your friends when they'd clicked with a target but didn't take them home. That and because Dani got sick on the dance floor from mixing strawberry daiquiri with one too many pink drinks. But you do pass on your full number after he very nearly begs you to give it to him while packing into a cab.

And then he never used it.

It's not that you were expecting much, but when a month passes with not so much as word from him, you figure he forgot about you and your little bet.

Then 2 months pass.

Even though you know that you only spent a fraction of a day with him, you can't help thinking about Namjoon. Namjoon and his pretty eyes and pretty words that made you think there was some sort of connection there. You realize after the first two weeks back that you don't have his number but by the time 2 months pass, you realize that was definitely on purpose.

4 months pass.

You're over it, swamped with end of term work like finals and grading and putting in hours at work. But every time your friends suggest a little fun and hooking you up with someone, every time someone asked for your number at a coffee shop, you said no. Because you're over it and you're busy and not at all disappointed for how hard you fell for the lies some failed SoundCloud rapper fed you on a vacation one time.

19 weeks pass.

You're all in Lia's apartment, basking in the first few days of the end of classes even if it means finals are a few days later. Alexa is playing her favorite playlist on the speakers and you're taking a break to get some coffee going in the small kitchenette.

While the coffee machine starts up you wander back to the main room. Alexa is leaning over to turn the music up, one of her favorite songs just now coming up.

"Who's this again," Dani pipes up from her spot on the couch. "It's that one guy's collab with the Bulletproof Girlscouts, right?"

"Yep," Alexa checks the song title before sighing. "This song is so old now."

"True, but it's my favorite one on the whole album."

"I guess it really has been two years since his last album, huh." Dani muses and then goes back to her practice problem set.

You try not to laugh at how cute Alexa looks sulking because her favorite artist hasn't put out any music in so long.

"Why don't you just play his new stuff," Lia says.

"He's on indefinite hiatus. This is as new as it gets."

Lia picks up her own phone, showing it to the group.

"He released a new single this morning."

"What!"

Alexa scrambles from her seat to grab her headphones and jam them into her phone. You all know how she gets about her music and let her have a moment to soak up the new song while you get up to check on the coffee.

It takes a few minutes to get cups out and put everything together since everyone has different tastes, so you're in the middle of pouring creamer when you hear a chorus of screams.

"Why are we screaming?"

You rush into the main room again only to be bombarded with music from the speaker, this time turned up as high as it can go. What must be the new song comes through the speaker, the bass vibrating on the ground as the speaker pumps.

"Okay, yes, new song. It's good but I don't get—"

"Just listen to the fucking bridge," Dani's voice comes out incredibly shrill as she cuts you off.

The beat surges for the bridge and suddenly the lyrics turn into the artist growling about some girl he met at the club with the prettiest little white outfit he'd ever seen. Saying something that sounds oddly like your name, although you figure that can't be right. But then the next verse has your name in it too, and the next one, and the next one.

Your feet take you to where Alexa's phone is plugged in and you pick up the phone to look at the song. It's indeed a song by her favorite artist, a prolific and mysterious rapper who's never shown his face and who'd been on hiatus from making music. The song title is simple, a small string of numbers that look suspiciously like your area code.

When you let out a tiny gasp, your friends let out more excited shrieks. You ignore them in favor of thumbing through the music app to the artist's page where the new single lies at the top of his discography. To the right of all his songs are the stream counts. Most of his older songs have a few dozen million or so. This brand new one sits at a modest 4 million, but the numbers trickle up as the app updates them in real time.

"What the hell?"

"I know!" Alexa cries, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't believe we sat in a VIP booth with him and I didn't even recognize his stupid voice!"

"What are you gonna do," Dani smiles widely at your stunned face. "Are you gonna call him?"

"I don't have his number," you say simply. Your voice comes out monotone with shock.

"You didn't get his number?" Alexa starts crying for real.

"People are blowing my phone up about this," Lia says once the song ends and begins again on a loop. "You might want to turn off your phone. It's just a matter of time until people start snooping around."

"Right."

You grab your phone from your pocket. On instinct you scan through your socials one last time before turning it off. There's a startling number of texts, calls, emails, and notifications on your social media apps. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open up one of them only to find your name trending as the top hashtag. Clicking on it brings up a bunch of tweets both from fans raving about the new song and wondering who the muse is, to random accounts with identical names in the handle all claiming to be said muse.

"Oh my god, he tweeted!" Dani shoves her phone into your hands.

As of right now [2:38pm] we're at 5.76 million streams. That's more than 150,000...

"What does that mean," she asks you.

"It means...he wants me to fly out to see him. Today."

"Oh my god."

Alexa screams again and at this point you've lost count of how many that is. Lia gets out of her chair and tucks her chin over your shoulder to read the post herself.

"You need to go," Alexa shouts. "I'll help you pack, let's go."

"What about finals?"

"Are you—are you actually thinking of not going because of finals?"

"I mean—"

"If you want me die, just say that," she does something with her mouth that looks like a manic smile.

"What Lex means to say is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm sure even the profs would understand."

You're not sure what to say. First of all, you still don't have his number. Second of all, you're not sure how to fight through all the other accounts claiming to be you to let him know you saw the song. Third, you don't even know where to fly to. Fourth—

A Twitter notification chimes from your phone and a deadly hush falls over everyone. You go to your DM inbox with shaking fingers only to find a message request from an unknown sender. When you open the request, it's from Namjoon's agency.

Good afternoon,

You are being contacted today because one of our artists wishes to meet you. If you consent to the meeting, please review the flight information and tentative itinerary below and respond with your address and contact information. Please also note that the travel plans are for today [MM/DD/YYYY], so your response at your earliest convenience would be much appreciated. If you would like to go but cannot make it today—

"Do you think they'll send a car or should I book her a ride to the airport now?" Dani turns to Alexa.

"They'll probably send one to make sure the schedule is followed."

"That's true but what about—"

Lia taps you on the shoulder, startling you out of your stupor.

"There's a convenience store two doors down. Whatever you buy we can put in one of my suitcases and you can just take that. There's probably not enough time to go all the way back to your place."

"I—yeah, okay."

7 hours later finds Alexa, Dani and Lia finished with studying for the night. The entertainment channel is playing on the TV and the three of them have their heads bent over their phones and laptops, refreshing all the major gossip sites for updates.

"Maybe she's not even there yet," Dani sighs when the page she just refreshed shows no new posts.

"Yeah, I mean we still don't even know where she is," Lia says while putting her laptop to sleep. "What if they made her sign an NDA?"

"Even if they did, she'd probably still tell us once she got there. She's probably just busy killing time on the plane."

"She's sleeping!" Alexa screams a second later.

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"Check his instagram," is all she says before frantically typing a message to you about souvenirs.

Lia looks over at Dani's phone as she pulls up Namjoon's page. The rest of the layout is bare given his up until recent hiatus and the fact that he never posted any type of selfie. The video uploaded a mere 20 seconds ago undoes all the previous minimalism of the entire account.

The post isn't even of Namjoon. It's a black and white 5 second video of the top half of your naked back and shoulders, the rest of your body covered by the sheets. One of your arms is raised to cover your head with a pillow. The only sign of Namjoon is the arm that reaches out from the bottom of the frame, making it clear that he took the video himself. His hand reaches out to trace a heart over the skin of your shoulder blade. The caption reads:

Thanks for keeping your promise

[imagine-your-love-story]

hey penny!! This is kind of a big one, but you're my absolute favorite f/o blog and I trust you to maybe help with this a bit. I've been struggling a lot with having an f/o lately in a deeper way that's nothing but shame and guilt and jealousy. I'm in a really difficult transition in my life rn and have been struggling in a way I haven't for such a long time, and my f/o's source media has been my incredible safe space for a while now. I love it. It makes me feel excited and like myself and motivated to one day make great art like it. but lately my brain has twisted it (and my relationship with my f/o) into this terrible thing to be ashamed of. I tend to be a fandom jumper, delving into a piece of media for about 6 months at a time, before it fades and I find something else. and I'm TERRIFIED that I'm starting to feel disconnected from this piece of media I feel like I kinda need right now during this time? it's not as long as other pieces of media and I'm scared I've kinda drained it dry of its magic and have kinda experienced everything, and that the honeymoon period is over, and I so desperately want it to go back to that. I want it to be okay to keep enjoying this thing I love, and honestly feel like I need at times (I swear sometimes I'm in full baby needs her bottle mode). but I've been having STRIKING jealousy over other people liking or writing fanfic for him. Not to mention he's canonically married and everyone ships them like crazy-- I personally don't that much, and she kinda looks like me anyway (at times I just pretend she's my s/I and he whispers a combo of her name and mine and lets her hair down so it looks like mine bc he secretly knows she's just my own s/I ;) -- but I still get bothered and hate myself for the first instinctual emotional and physical response to seeing them and seeing other people like him. It's so weird and turns this experience into something I hate, but can't step away from either. I have my own canon a year after the events of my source that I think is super cute and make things work for both my f/o and his (ex- ;) ) canon love interest (and I personally think is super cute, I totally ship her with his brother) but it's hard not to feel like that's wrong or stupid or out-of-character or disrespecting the original canon or experiencing this art in the 'wrong' way or whatever, especially considering how much content there is for them. I told my s/o I needed a break, just a step back, and he was very sweet about it and understood ("I'm here when you need me"). but needed him sooner than I thought, and last night we were just able to cuddle and hold each other without talking or putting a label on it or jumping to a big conclusion about any of it. it was nice. lol maybe I just need to step out of the fandom part of it and just enjoy it for myself in my own special way, and get back to why I enjoyed it in the first place. there's so much self-judgement about it all (I've been here before with a lot of things I love, the fear of obsession, the shame of needing, feeling like I should be more rational and adult about everything, feeling like I HAVE to step away even though my brain instantly fights against it-- and none of those fears have ever come to fruition. I guess it just saddens me that all this deep love will fade eventually. it makes me sad. I just want to make it a happy place for me while it lasts. and I'm sure it'll come back into my life eventually, with only the happy stuff and none of the bad, which is what usually happens) I know this is a lot (my mini novel!! hope you've enjoyed!!) and I originally thought of just messaging you for advice, but thought that maybe even one person out there might relate and need the advice too. your blog and your heart (it shines through even just in your writing) are amazing and I appreciate you being willing to read. even just writing about it helps, especially to someone who I feel might sympathize or understand. escapism and media we relate to are so important, so it breaks my heart when it becomes this overcomplicated, depressing beast--

especially when I feel it doesn't have to be. again, thanks for reading this WALL of text and I hope you have the best, most peaceful, wonderful day. <3

Hello lovely darling!! Thank you so much for feeling comfortable to share with me!! ♥♥♥ I'm so sorry you're struggling and swamped with these emotions! They sound like a beast to bear! ♥

A number of things stood out for me so I'm probably going to write a mini novel in return so buckle up for some reading! :)

Fandom

You mentioned that your f/o and his canon love interest are a popular ship. Because of that, you see a lot of material that makes you feel jealous.

Fandom can be GREAT in many ways, but it can also be a lot to process and/or pretty horrible, depending on the situation.

For one of my f/os, the fandom likes to write really rough explicit fics It doesn't fit his personality AT ALL but it's now the norm for about 95% (if not more) of the fandom to write this content. And A LOT of it.

So of course people assume everyone accepts it as canon. Then they stop tagging things because why bother? EVERYONE likes it! (allegedly) Which makes it really difficult to blacklist.

I couldn't get away from it. Every time I tried finding new blogs to follow, it was one graphic fic after another.

At least three times in the course of the past year, I have fully removed myself from my f/o and his source material because I was getting so anxious, I was edging into panic attack territory.

He didn't make me feel safe anymore. He made me want to run away.

I have *carefully* eased myself back into my f/o's material again. But I do NOT go into any tags related to him. I follow about 2 blogs that I trust and that's it.

Sometimes I think fandoms can form these unwieldy mobs. It can be fun to find other people to share your enthusiasm with!

But the catch-22 is that you can also encounter people who may throw a wet blanket on your enthusiasm and ruin the fun for you.

I believe it's perfectly normal to take a break from fandom. It helps you get back to what YOU liked about the show, rather than constantly assessing what OTHER people think about it and getting overwhelmed with the fact that it seems you're the ONLY person who thinks X while everyone else is all about Y.

I've noticed other self-shippers have mentioned similar problems - feeling overwhelmed and outnumbered by the general majority of the fandom. Feeling like they shouldn't enjoy what they do because a large portion of the fandom hates it.

If you weren't on tumblr, would you still enjoy the thing? Probably!

It might feel lonely and weird at first to take a break from fandom. But try to enjoy yourself and remember why you fell in love with your f/o in the first place! :)

If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could set your blog to private so only a handful of people you trust can see it instead of the fandom at large!

Fear of fading love

You mentioned that you're scared your love for your f/o's material will fade at some point. And it might. Everything in life has a cycle - things shift because we've outgrown it or we want something fresh or we need new horizons to explore and that's okay!

But that love has been a crucial and defining part of your life for a LONG time. That love is permanently etched into you like a tattoo. It helped you grow. It helped you learn to love yourself in a whole new way you never would have had otherwise!

This love has shaped you and given you confidence and support. It has created a safe haven for you, granting you the comfort and freedom to be yourself.

That will stay with you forever. Every time you employ that confidence, you're exercising what that love has taught you. You're drawing on the well of strength it created in you. You're revisiting it and saying thank you and I love you always.

Maybe you won't love it as deeply in the future. But the love will always remain :)

Feeling disconnected

I can DEFINITELY relate to this feeling and it suuuuuucks omg.

There could be any number of reasons why you're feeling this disconnect but unfortunately, the only way to move past it is to hold on and weather the storm.

Maybe it's real life problems creating stress that make you feel blah.

Maybe it's just a "change of season" and you're in the transition mode into something else. But the in-between time is turbulent and a generally yucky feeling.

About 4 years ago, I was crazy in love with Star Wars and super active. I wrote fic like a madwoman (300k words in 1 1/2 years). But the fandom was very heavy on the toxic drama. And too many people were demanding/rude with their "feedback" on my fics.

Eventually, I stopped writing and disappeared because I was completely burned out. I didn't enjoy Star Wars anymore.

No matter how hard I looked, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find anything to replace Star Wars. And it left me feeling so listless (and kinda bitter, tbh).

I'm finally starting to touch on a few media sources that I'm really nuts about now and it feels amaaaaazzzziiing to get into that groove again.

But it took FOUR YEARS.

I tried to go back, revisit my old stomping grounds, pick up my old username but it felt...off. I wasn't that person anymore. I had expanded into something else that needed more room to breathe.

Looking back, I've realized that I had to sort through a few things before I could reach where I am now.

I had been juggling a number of stressors that were taxing my mental energy, including: family responsibilities, job stress (BIG one), Covid (another BIG one), self criticism (i.e. "this is a waste of time and you should do something more productive, stop being childish"), and burnout.

Eventually something will *click* again! But for now, it sounds like you're sorting through something and until you come out the other side, it might be a bumpy ride for a while (HUGS). It WILL sort itself out eventually though, promise! ♥

Feeling guilty/shame

This is only a matter of how you are treating yourself and speaking to yourself, my lovely!

Everyone has needs. That's not something to be shameful for. When you bury that need because you think, "I shouldn't feel this way!", you only create MORE anxiety.

If you NEED your f/o's source material right now to bring some joy into your life, that's okay!

If you NEED a break from fandom because people won't shut up for god's sake about shipping your f/o with your canon love interest, that's okay!

The best way to battle feelings of shame is be kind to yourself. Talk yourself down from the brink of these volatile emotions that are upsetting you.

DON'T beat yourself over the head and say, "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. BE AN ADULT, YOU NOODLE."

DO try acknowledging the way you feel and alter your activity to something that makes you feel better, like, "Hey, I'm not in a great headspace right now. Fandom doesn't seem to be helping, making me feel worse. I know it's fiction but my feelings are valid. I'm going to listen to some music that reminds me of my f/o because I enjoy doing that."

***

Anyway, um, WOW that got much longer than I expected! I hope a little of that was useful, lovely! Fingers crossed that things start looking up for you very soon!!! ♥

[tinycurlyfry]

I wanna hear your One Piece blorbo, scrunkly, scrimblo bimblo etc list (and if you feel like doing it for the brOC, that'd be absolutely hilarious)

jhgskldfgj doing it for brOC IS hilarious, you're absolutely right. I'll go ahead and do both lmaoo

ONE PIECE (*Note- I'm currently in the middle of Skypeia)

-Blorbo (Favorite, Character that consumes my thoughts) Zoro. Without a doubt. This fucking guy I SWEAR. He has my mind in a fucking death grip -Scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression) I mean, Chopper. He's the definition of being "So shaped" I feel gjsklfdg. -Scrimblo Bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) I know I just need to actually search for him and I'll find content on here of him, but I really dig Smoker and in going through One Piece art I haven't seen him come up once. I actually might do that after writing this up lmao. Him telling the people he works for to “go to hell” because they gave him the credit for saving Alabasta and wouldn’t acknowledge that it'd been the straw hats? Even though he'd gone after the Straw Hats himself before? Iconic. Had me roaring. You tell 'em, King! -Glup Shitto (Obscure Background favorite) hmm hard to tell just because I don't know who doesn't become a really big character at some point in this long ass show but I wanna say Zeff? He made me cry the way he wanted to ensure Sanji got out to see the world and that he chased after his dream and didn't stay at the restaurant because Sanji felt indebted to him. Between him and Smoker does this just mean I like the angry but caring dad vibe characters? Maybe. -Poor Little Meow Meow ("problematic"/pathetic fave) Usopp rant activated I apologize in advance that this is long jgslkdfg. Okay, so I really love Usopp's character but I do think One Piece over does it in making sure he comes across as the pathetic coward sometimes. They need to give him more shining moments without beating in the 'Haha, Usopp was useless again' horse. And they might! I've heard heard good things about Water 7. And I don't actually mind his frequent over-reactions and his loud nervous interjections/lies he makes to make himself sound big and tough. But, I didn't like that they said he made Nami's weapon a party prop primarily and only eventually did OP go "Okay, but actually this thing IS a very useful weapon and it works really well with Nami's strengths". My (maybe) controversial opinion? I LOVED the Syrup Village Arc. I think Usopp's writing in that arc was amazing. He literally is the bravest warrior because he's fucking terrified (as he honestly should be) of most of the stuff that crosses the crew's way but will put his life on the line to keep people safe and has put himself between a bad guy and innocent people to get the enemy to attack him instead. Also, it is... unfortunate the way one piece draws him and other poc characters ;>> Usopp is a favorite character that... I wish was in the hands of someone else writing-wise if that makes sense. I would never call Usopp my poor little meow meow lmaoo but I'm going to say Usopp fits here. - Horse Plinko (Character I would torment for fun) Oh, so many of them tbh but Zoro and Sanji both. These two need to be bullied for how ridiculous they are when they're trying to one-up each other. - Eeby Deeby (Character I would send to super hell) Sanji Kidding, but I just can't stand him sometimes jgkldfg. He gets sent to superhell for his painful and annoying straight act despite clearly having a bi awakening in meeting Ace lmaoo.

BrOC (For my other followers this was a big dnd roleplay event between amazing people in the Strings of Fate Discord)

-Blorbo - Beif. -Scrunkly - Honestly? I think Fili and Edmund are tied here -Glup Shitto - Look at me and tell me Nony doen't deserves the title Glup Shitto lmaoo -Poor Little Meow Meow - Ammon. I wouldn't call him pathetic but everyone would agree he was problematic and boy oh boy did he need friends and hugs and to be aggressively smothered in love against his will - Horse Plinko - Duniq but I'd feel bad about it jgkslfg It doesn't take much for Duniq.exe to stop working, but he's doing his best I'm sure. - Eeby Deeby - Ilven. For just, so many crimes. Stinky.