#it's grounded and competent and REAL
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God though there's something CHILLING about the Eye of Sion.
Like--the realization of what an ISD-sized hyperspace ring means, the inherent propaganda coup of bringing back the fucking Chimera is a bad thing, yeah, but I'm talking immediate emotional impact.
Because the thing, is, right--there's a Trope at play here.
And the Trope is that...this is a top-secret evil space project, you know? This is Morgan Elsbeth's Evil Masterpiece, her refuge-in-audacity strike at the heart of the New Republic, operating in the open under their very noses, etc. This is the 'Eye of Sion', the dark weapon that will restore Thrawn to the galaxy.
So it's just sort of...expected, with the way this kind of story goes, that the Eye of Sion would be a WARSHIP.
That's just the trope, you know? All this time, all thes resources--it's supposed to have impenetrable armor and some kind of fucked-up new atomization weapon and maybe some murderous AI, it's supposed to have bristling firepower and impossible maneuverability and a massive swinging dick--it's supposed to be Thrawn's Newer And Badder Flagship TM, the terror of the galaxy.
It's not.
It's a hyperspace ring.
That's all. It's just a hyperspace ring.
All that time, all those resources, all this secrecy, the death, the sacrifice...And the Eye of Sion is a hyperspace ring. It has token point defense, and they've had nothing but time in which to do some very nice interior decorating (which is, compared to the cost of the ring itself, a nonexistent price tag) but. It's not a battle station. It's not a flagship. It's not even a light cruiser. It's a piece of tech that was already old-fashioned during the Clone Wars.
All those resources went toward a single, solitary purpose. One journey. Two hyperspace jumps. There, and back again.
That's how difficult it is, this thing they're attempting. Those are the stakes. All of the Imperial Remnant's remaining resources went toward this project--and the result is nothing more or less than a single, massive, unprecedented hyperspace ring.
That's all they think they'll need.
It would have been so much less intimidating if she was a warship.
#I'm not tagging my ahsoka show stuff anymore#because y'all dont know how to fucking behave#but it is SO GOOD actually#the characterization is on POINT the themes are THEMING it is. so fucking good.#full offense but Rebels + Ahsoka made Thrawn good#og legends thrawn is bbc sherlock bullshit smart#canon thrawn is TERRIFYINGLY intelligent#it's grounded and competent and REAL
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bring back k-pop music videos with oddball physical sets that are actually real or even just remotely built — and no, we left `dudes trapped inside of a cheese grater tunnel´ behind! — instead of hyper HD cameras doing 360s every two seconds in front of floating metallic green screen AI slop stickers. this ain’t social media @ directors, a k-pop video is supposed to tell a zany plot on a random alien planet where idols wear extensions and invent new words!!
#fantastic fantastic elastic elastic baby!! no more corny stuff with motion sickness i want some tarantino realness!#bigbang#exo#2ne1#bts#nct#stray kids#aespa#blackpink#ateez#xg#txt#njz#monsta x#kpop#kpop groups#k-pop#music#music videos#like i want to understand a story!! and see an actual ground they walk on!!!#can you tell i grew up on YG 2nd 3rd gen era masterpieces of madness? even marvels multiverse cannot compete#i accept cowboy concepts
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Do psychotropic drugs and/or ritual play a role in any of the blightseed cultures? A pretty broad question, lol
Yeah that’s a very broad question, the answer is about as much as it tends to play roles in real history. Alcohol is pretty ubiquitous (outside of cultures that abstain from intoxicants) and used for a variety of purposes, opioids are commonly used in some parts for pain relief or recreational purposes, stimulants (usually in mild, natural forms) are used to provide extra energy, and hallucinogens are most commonly used as part of a larger religious framework (rather than for recreational purposes). Any more elaborate answer kinda has to be case by case in a certain culture or part of the setting.
I'll just take this as an opportunity to talk about the one established sect that pretty much REVOLVES around psychoactive use. This is the Scholarly Order of the Root, which is a sort of mystery religion + elite community of scholars who currently occupy the Ur-Tree and its forest in the far southern Lowlands (southeast of Imperial Wardin, on the same land mass).
The Ur-Tree is the obligatory Huge Fucking Fantasy Tree (and its surrounding forest). It’s a mass of vegetation about a mile tall and almost as old as Plant Life Itself, its upper branches are primeval plants, which become more modern the nearer they get to the ground (and each 'level' holds tiny ecosystems, some containing descendants of LONG-extinct arthropods/other small animals). Its lowest branches and the surrounding forest are contemporary plant life, and all is connected and protected by an incomparably MASSIVE fungal mycelium network (which is itself a living god).
A lot of the Scholars' more secretive practices revolve around experimentation with substance use with the goal of expanding the Mind and transcending the body to fully connect to the Dreamlands, and they have a supply chain of traders and mercenaries called Rootrunners who traffic substances into the Lowlands. Most of their psychoactive use is in a very intentional capacity and not just like, for fun, but a LOT of them are just straight up addicted to cocaine (in the form of alchemically refined bruljenum, which is used for practical purposes of its stimulant effect during long hours of work).
All known psychoactives are desirable for experimentation (particularly hallucinogens), with each having properties that either allow expansion of the Mind, transcendence of the body, or outright divine communion. Their effects are logged in great detail and interpreted to form the basis of the Scholars' understanding of the natural world and reality itself.
The most important substance is Ur-Root, which is root matter from subterranean levels of the Ur-Tree that have both their own intrinsic psychoactive substances and a very, very high concentration of living god mycelium. The tree root contains DMT and the mycelium has its own wholly unique effects (being an actual living god). They alchemically refine it into a purer, more potent form, and use it to expand beyond the body and directly commune with the Giants, a group of entities they have identified as the only true gods.
An Ur-Root trip starts off with minor visual distortion, which turns into shifting fractals that slowly obscure the vision. Eventually the senses are entirely taken over by a 'tunnel' of rapidly shifting fractals and geometries. In a complete trip, the experiencer gets a sense that they have been pushed through a membrane and entered another realm, finding themselves in a distinct experiential Space.
At this point they may encounter entities which communicate to them in a language impossible to describe but wholly understood. These beings are understood to be the Giants, or at least aspects of the Giants that mortals are capable of comprehending (they often take familiar tutelary forms of the Mantis or the Snake, or appear resembling the same type of sophont that the experiencer is, all composed of ever-shifting geometries). The experiencer often feels a sense of unconditional and endless love from these beings, though the Giants may be more hostile and may appear in the form of the Trickster (usually a cultural figure regarded as malicious, be it an animal or otherwise) in a bad trip.
(^Up until this point, this has mostly just been a DMT 'breakthrough' experience ft. 'machine elves' and the like).
They are then removed from this space and returned to something that feels like the real world, but is nearly unrecognizable. They have a sense of rapidly moving through time, and will usually see 'the spires' towards the beginning, which just so happen to look like this:

(source + some context via Implication- the spires are exactly what this art is depicting)
The experiencer continues to move across an unfathomable amount of time, occasionally 'seeing' other such flashes of unfamiliar landscapes and creatures, and yet also being devoid of all their senses, the 'seeing' is pure, unfiltered experience. There is a sense of interconnectedness with all life, and that one has become the forest (or even Life) itself. The sense of time is wildly distorted, the trip lasts only about 5 minutes but feels like an eternity and is understood as literal hundreds of millions of years.
The experiencer has usually lost any remaining sense of Self and individual consciousness during this phase (in which case this time distortion is usually a neutral or even peaceful experience), but some retain a fraction of their identity, and find themselves trapped and conscious while experiencing what feels like eternity (which can be LIFE-CHANGINGLY distressing, even after the fact).
(^This latter part of the trip is the effects of the Ur-Tree fungus).
The trip ends with a sense of rushing through the ground and back up into one's body, at which point they will abruptly return to their senses and consciousness. The details are then immediately retrieved via interview and recorded in immense detail. The whole experience is understood as having been full comprehension of the Dreamlands, communion with the Giants, and then a tour through the act of creation.
This is done as part of the initiatory practice into the inner mystery-religion of the scholars, and as needed for study by high scholar-priests. It is not taken lightly, both as it is absolute communion with the gods and reality, and in that it can be a very, very difficult experience. People who have gone through this often walk away with a permanently shifted perspective, often in a positive and/or comforting way- a sense of interconnectedness with all life, a peace with the concept of death, seeing less of a point in individual ego and the concept of Self, and comfort in the sense of divine love they (may have) experienced. This heavily influences the philosophy of the Scholars and has had effects by proxy in the religious worldviews of the region.
Details of this experience are closely guarded, and initiates are given absolutely no prior knowledge and expectations for their trip. This is seen as a necessity- their naivety will allow for a true, unfiltered experience, and can be used to gauge whether they should or should not be accepted. Those that have a distinctly bad trip upon initiation may be assumed to have been 'rejected' by the giants and thus denied full priesthood, though this largely depends on How they interpret their distressing trip- those who identify this as a test and harsh lesson in a journey to enlightenment may be accepted (as this is how fully initiated scholar-priests interpret and handle their bad trips).
This inner priesthood is only a small fraction of the Scholarly Order, and its greater function is as a hub of education and repository of knowledge, and Scholar-trained doctors can provide some of the best medical care available in the setting ('best medical care in this setting' only means so much but it's pretty solid, relatively speaking). Only a chosen few Scholars ever get to commune with the Ur-Root, and most of the divine secrets revealed in the process are kept hidden (though they indirectly influence the politics and worldview of the entire order).
#I'm kind of fascinated by the quasi-religious beliefs that have developed around recreational hallucinogen use (ESPECIALLY DMT)#In contrast to like. Uses of DMT-containing substances like ayahuasca for long-established religious purposes#So this concept is basically 'what if a religion was FORMED from pretty much the ground up out of DMT usage'#Like the common 'entities' people encounter in recreational use being identified as the Real Gods and producing a religious worldview#that is mostly rooted in this experience (while still influenced by other cultural factors)#Also the like. Meta going on here is that the fungus is a 'living god' and the oldest one on the planet#It is a VERY rare type of living god that is 'created' by non-sophont (non-sentient even) beings and exists as a mycelial network#that perfectly supports and protects an entire forest. Basically a god for plants. It is so deeply interconnected with its forest that the#usual power sophont belief would have over it has basically zero influence. This is absolutely the closest thing to A God in canon.#(While still not being a Creator/sapient/or even supernatural within the framework of this reality. Just VERY unique.)#The Ur-Tree has always been above water and grows very very slowly over the course of millenia by kind of 'pulling up' plant life from#the ground (so you see ancient long extinct plants in its higher branches and contemporary plants close to/on the ground)#The mycelium helps shield and feed extinct plant life that could not otherwise survive in the contemporary environment#And the forest is big enough to produce its own weather (it is a rainforest and has been ever since the capacity for rainforests Existed)#It's not really a tree at all in any normal sense but an amalgam of thousands of types of plants-#Some growing on top of others and some interwoven beyond any distinction. It does form a superficially treelike structure#(mostly in order to physically support its own mass) with a very wide 'trunk' and massive 'roots' (which end in actual roots).#It feeds on its own perpetually shedding and decaying 'body' and any animal life that dies in the forest is VERY rapidly#decayed and absorbed by the mycelial network (to the point that many large scavengers cannot survive in this forest)#(If you kill a cow and leave it on the ground for just 1/2 hour you'll see little strands of mycelium already growing up around it)#The fungus fruits and spores on a very infrequent basis (scale of ten-thousands of years) which causes the forest to very slowly spread#Fortunately this isn't really an existential threat because the spread is VERY slow (even on a geological scale) and the fungus#itself is rather mundane in nature and cannot usually compete against established fungal networks in other places.#Though there are little Ur-Tree mycelium groves and woodlands in other parts of the world that may (over untold millennia)#generate their own Ur-Trees (there's already a few but they are all MUCH smaller and not readily recognized as the same thing)#WRT THE TRIP:#Most of what I'm describing is a DMT trip but consumption of high doses of Ur-Tree mycelium has both mundane psychoactive effects#and IS kind of the person experiencing the fungus' entire lifetime and seeing flashes of the world's actual evolutionary history.#The amount of material knowledge that can be accurately gleaned from this this is VERY limited though.
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Hubert is a huge fucking dork 💙💙💙
#tales of graces#hubert oswell#dolphin plays graces again#I know I talk about Asbel constantly but his brother is so adorable too 💙#a lieutenant in Strahta's military at age 16 and he acts like it he's SO prideful#but deep down he is the world's biggest dork and just as sappy as Asbel#I love his character arc going from lofty arrogance and mistrust to grounded humility and cooperation#without ever losing his prideful persona. He still can't be geniunely openhearted but his real feelings are always obvious anyway 💙#I love his competitiveness too how he fights w Asbel over who gets to be the Red Sunscreen Ranger 😂#Or insists he'll create a new puzzle to compete w Pascal once she's already mastered shotcube#I know his first mystic arte is memed on for sounding like 'Instant Balls!'#But his 3rd one Expiation cracks me up. 'Take summa THAT! And summa THESE!!' >:O#makes sense that his fighting style was canonically lifted from comic books if he talks like that 😂#Kudos to Steve Staley for having Hubert's voice crack constantly lest you forget he's barely out of puberty 👍#In conclusion Hubert is a huge dork and I love him 💙💙💙#also now I have a clip of him saying 'Based?'
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🆘 SToP Don't SKiP
A small donation can make a big difference 🙏🍉🇵🇸
My name is Ahmed. My wife Hadeel and I dreamed of a simple life together. We married in February 2023, and now Hadeel is pregnant, which makes our situation even more urgent. We had just settled into our cozy apartment in northern Gaza when everything changed on October 7, 2023, when war shattered our lives. We lost our home and my job, and after a series of evacuations, we ended up in a tent by the sea in Khan Younis.
As winter approaches, our situation is dire. We urgently need your support to help us rebuild our lives. Thank you for your kindness during these challenging times.



Amid the devastation of Gaza, five children stood before a broken electric pole leaning on the ground. They decided to turn it into a balancing game, competing to walk across it without falling.
Their laughter echoed every time one of them wobbled or nearly fell, cheering each other on with enthusiasm. After playing, they sat beside the pole, dreaming of real amusement parks far away from the rubble.
Despite the dusty sky and the destruction surrounding them, they realized that their dreams and laughter were stronger than all they had lost.


On a cold night on Gaza's outskirts, rain seeped through my tattered tent, turning the ground to mud. Once my refuge after war destroyed my home, the tent offered no warmth or safety. Memories of my lost home haunted me as I struggled to hold on. Your support can help restore the safety we've lost.
youtube
To donate:👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
— Ahmed and Hadeel
#gofundme#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#gaza strip#free gaza#go fund him#free palestine#go fund them#gaza#palestinian genocide#save palestine#i stand with palestine#all eyes on palestine#save gaza#please help#pls help#donations#donated#Youtube
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I've noticed how a lot of people are operating from (and never seem to live up to their ego) and how often ego gets confused with confidence. Aka fake confidence. We live in a world where loudness is mistaken for strength and arrogance for self worth. But in reality, the ego is fragile. It constantly needs feeding, approval, attention, validation, status—while real confidence is quiet, grounded and doesn’t need to prove anything
Ego is rooted in fear Confidence is rooted in self trust
1. Ego needs validation. Confidence doesn’t
Ego: Do they think I’m good enough?
Confidence: I know I am, whether they see it or not
2. Ego competes. Confidence supports
Ego: Wants to outshine others
Confidence: Knows that lifting others doesn’t dim your own light
3. Ego controls. Confidence allows
Ego: Obsessed with outcomes, appearances and being liked
Confidence: Trusts the process and is okay with not being for everyone
4. Ego reacts. Confidence responds
Ego: Feels attacked and lashes out
Confidence: Stays calm and chooses peace over power
5. Ego hides. Confidence reveals
Ego: Covers insecurities with masks—perfectionism, arrogance, or over explaining
Confidence: Is okay being imperfect, vulnerable, real
6. Ego proves. Confidence just is
Ego: Needs to show, argue and justify
Confidence: Speaks less, and moves with quiet certainty
7. Ego needs attention & validation. Confidence is secure without it
Ego: Constantly checks for texts, views, likes, compliments
Confidence: Enjoys attention, but doesn't depend on it
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A pair of Czekl drakes readying at a flower duel.
The one stretching and yawning is dressed in full dueling/dancing attire, which shows off material wealth via fine clothing and feathers while also exposing the sexiest part of his breeding plumage (in this culture it's the head and neck) and his flushed blue skin.
The other is his pair bonded partner, whose drab full body covering and clipped quills establishes that he is not available for reproduction this year, and meets expected modesty standards for a seasonally celibate drake. His presence makes his reproductively available partner more attractive to prospective hens, as it indicates that the celibate drake will have no offspring of his own this year and his full investment will be in his partner's young (and thus that of any hens who choose him).
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[Key for the typical sex assignments across qilik sexual variation:
Hen: Lays eggs, has duller coloration year-round, largest average body mass.
Drake: Produces sperm, has brighter coloration that molts into very colorful breeding plumage, skin seasonally flushes blue, smaller average body mass.
Faeder: Produces sperm and is usually physically indistinguishable from hens in average size and coloration. Can be anywhere between 1-25% of the sperm producing population.]
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Qilik species-wide descend from an ancestral mating system in which hens did not form pair bonds with drakes and played no role in raising subadult offspring, and rather would mate with chosen drake(s) and leave their eggs with the most favored suitor. Drakes would form long term pair bonds with other (usually related) drakes and cooperatively brood and raise young together. Faeder would wander through lekking grounds and opportunistically mate with hens (without having to directly compete with drakes) and play no further role in hatching/rearing their offspring.
They have brief windows of seasonal fertility triggered by the springtime increase of daylight hours (with some equatorial populations having their cycles triggered by seasonal rains instead). Most drakes experience a significant surge of testosterone which causes their springtime molt producing very bright new feathers and their skin to flush blue (if they are well-nourished).
Modern qilik have full behavioral plasticity that subjects this baseline mating system to tremendous cultural variation. There are some broad commonalities- drakes perform the majority of child rearing across most cultures, forms of drake sexual display (whether directly involved in reproduction or not) are nearly ubiquitous in the form of various cultural practices (dances, songs, mock or real combat, etc), and seasonal fertility is a purely biological trait and a universal.
The nomadic culture and heavily dispersed population of the Czekl people means reproductive arrangements are rarely made in advance. Rather, regional populations assemble in established locations during mid spring for a month-long event where the usually separated hen/faeder clans and drake clans can mingle. This is a time for trade, for drake parents to find suitable clans for any of their young adult hen/faeder children, and for individuals looking to reproduce to find a suitable (and highly temporary) partner.
In this culture, hens usually play no direct part whatsoever in their children's lives and may very well never see them hatched. Hens are believed to be the mechanism that supplies spiritual ancestral guardianship to their young, but their material responsibility begins and ends with finding a drake who can show himself to be strong, handsome, healthy, tied to a good clan, and economically secure enough to take good care of their offspring. This process is sometimes accomplished with simple meeting and talking, but the flashiest ways for drakes to advertise themselves is the flower duel.
This is a combination of a dance and a fight, in which available drakes congregate on a dueling ground, match up against the best looking rival they can find, and attempt to pin them to the ground while also dancing to chanted music and showing off their finest clothing and sexy feathers. Hens will watch these proceedings (usually aided by other members of their clan), and can approach anyone that catches their eye after the fact to converse and ensure that they have found a good father for their children. This also functionally provides a mechanism for drakes who do not have a pair-bonded male partner to attract a co-parent, and this culture's equivalents of romance stories lavish attention to narratives of flower duel rivals becoming enamored in the process of their mock battle.
Czekl culture places very little expectation on even temporary fidelity, and hens will often mate with multiple drakes per season and only provide their single egg (often of indeterminate siring) to the one they deem best. It's up to an individual drake to not only prove that he's extremely sexy and excellent father material, but that he can be good company for the week or so between the first (of usually many) acts of breeding and his reproductive partner(s) laying their eggs. While hens and drakes rarely form any sort of permanent bond in this culture (and aren't likely to see each other whatsoever for the rest of the year), these temporary friendships can be meaningful and enjoyable. There's plenty of things to do at this gathering besides just showing off and fucking, and temporary mates that actually hit it off will often bring their respective clans together to socialize and trade.
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The modesty standards of qilik cultures trend towards regulating attire of drakes more intensely than hens/faeder, especially when in breeding plumage and skin condition. Czekl society has fairly limited modesty standards, with the cloaca being the only part of the body expected to remain publicly covered in most contexts regardless of gender. The only major exception is that drakes who are choosing to remain celibate for the breeding season (or who have secured as many partners as they can handle) are expected to demonstrate this with full body covering. The exposure of seasonally blue tinted skin and breeding plumage is treated as an advertisement of full sexual availability, and uncovered drakes who refuse any mating are often subject to aggression and treatment as sexually deviant.
Czekl drake pairs typically take turns playing the reproductive role, hence the routine presence of seasonally celibate males at this event. A drake being able to display that he not only has a bonded partner but one who will remain nonreproductive for this season increases his chances of reproductive hookups. It tends to be assumed that partnered drakes will disproportionately invest in their own offspring, so having sex with a drake who has a celibate male partner is seen by most hens as guaranteeing a better future for the one and only egg they can lay each year.
This perception is a cultural bias rather than a response to behavioral drives, as partnered drakes do not actually show instinctive preference for their own young over that of their pair-bonded partner's. The evolutionary background for this is rooted in pre-behaviorally modern qilik male partners very frequently being biological brothers, and thus reaping selective benefits in mutual care for their related young. This is not as ubiquitously the case for behaviorally modern qilik, though incest taboos are rarely applied to bonded drake relationships. In the Czekl sphere, up to a quarter of these nonreproductive pair bonds are between male siblings.
It is exceptionally rare for qilik cultures to form taboos surrounding homosexual behavior between drakes, and when extent they tend to regulate actual sex acts rather than the forming of these pair bonds in of themselves. Less rare is acceptance of drake celibacy (outside of various religious contexts that dictate it), referring to complete/attemptedly lifelong abstinence from mating with hens. Czekl (and most central plains qilik groups) do not police the sexuality of drakes as aggressively as more intensely hen-matriarchal cultures do, but it’s still an expectation that all drakes will participate in bringing offspring to their clans over the course of their lives. Those who remain Serially (rather than seasonally) celibate are often subject to discrimination and sometimes even ousting from their own clans. The clan is the central unit of Czekl society and drake clans (treated as bloodlines) are sustained by their members providing offspring, so choosing never to do so is treated as imperilment of a clan's future.
Czekl drakes forming permanent pair bonds with hens is considered unnatural and deviant (though not aggressively policed, and very rare in practice), and forming these with faeder is HIGHLY stigmatized (faeder themselves are treated as barren hens in spite of their actual fertility, and are discouraged both from mating with hens and from forming bonds with drakes/joining drake clans). The practice of seasonally celibate drakes appearing in this public setting with full body covering has (culturally unintentional) functions in enabling these stigmatized drake/faeder pair bonds to fly under the radar (by giving an avenue for a faeder to hide her dull coloration and therefore sex assignment, under the guise of being a celibate drake), and allowing them to obtain offspring for themselves.
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I was looking for a book recently on an online storefront and was recommended a book written by a physicist about the history of humanity. this was a popular press book that was not intended to be read by other academics, but it reminded me of this niche genre of books, with experts from the physical sciences writing about human behaviour or history or what have you. Could you imagine coming across the inverse? A popular press book that purported to explain physics written by a historian?
There is some deep imbalance in how public perceptions of “general intelligence” seem to work - those in STEM are generally recognised for their competence, expertise, and intellectual acumen, and this recognition can be generalised, that at some level a demonstration of your expertise of eg astrophysics is a demonstration of your abilities of investigation writ large, that you have figured out some central underlying element of science that allows for basically limitless intellectual extension to any field or subject. A physicist can write a book about human history and be taken seriously by the general public on the assumption that physics is more difficult to understand than history, so any lower domain of investigation is open to them. The reverse is often not extended to a lot of the social sciences, particularly the theoretically-heavy social sciences; theory is just making bullshit up at the end of the day, it has no real practical application because any questions about the philosophy of thought or knowledge - how did we come to know what we know and under what conditions do we know these things - is just the indulgent wankery of people who can’t find a real job.
And of course it would be silly to insist that because you have read Hegel, an infamously difficult thinker, you know how to interpret the lab print-outs of electrochemists - I don’t want this goofy concept of general intelligence to be applied everywhere, I want it to go away entirely, but its current uneven applications across scientific fields indicates a broader problem with public conceptions of expertise and knowledge.
This probably has something to do with anti-communism on some level - social science is not generally regarded as “real science” (in no small part because social science is often the field of bureaucrats, and while animosity towards bureaucrats is deeply sympathetic, I suspect the reasons for this animosity are not themselves scientifically grounded), that while there is a public understanding of “objective facts” that exist prior and external to human interpretation, the politics of knowledge are hegemonically oriented around liberalism, to such an extent that any critique of the assumptions of knowledge are viewed as a dogmatic denial of reality done for the purposes of political infiltration and brainwashing. And I don’t feel totally unqualified to say this, given that this is basically the de facto response from students encountering Marxism for the first time in university. “Marx is too dogmatic” may as well be inscribed above the doors to lecture halls. Hell, Jordan Peterson made a nice little public career for himself railing against “post-modern neo-Marxism,” a phrase so nonsensical that the fact he was not immediately and permanently laughed out of the public arena for saying it is an indictment of how politically illiterate we are as a society!
And the infuriating thing is that a lot of social science scholarship (not just from the US but especially from the US) is complete horseshit, just pure evil garbage motivated solely by a desire to justify the fact that we do really need to keep killing tens of thousands of people a year to keep this whole party going. Every sociologist who calls themselves a “methodological individualist” is contributing to the long-standing tradition of eugenics scholarship but is too craven and vain to admit to this. If you had to describe the sum-total of the social scientific scholarly output of the west in a word, it would be ‘mysticism.’ Because it is the case that anti-colonial, anti-imperial, and anti-capitalist investigations of the political-economic conditions of the world have produced social scientific knowledge on par with the discovery of the atom, but it is not treated as such. “It is right to rebel” is not just a moral claim about violence but a scientific summary of human history.
But I think it is precisely this reactionary state of affairs that makes people devalue the social sciences as an actual site of legitimate investigation, that understanding the historical trajectory of ideas or the political conditions of life are valuable pursuits for any just society. Because social science deals with the social world, the political conditions under which the social world is investigated and understood are themselves bound up in questions of political and economic power. But this equally extends to the physical sciences - I know at least in environmental sciences, there is an ever-growing reckoning with climate change as an imminent threat to all life on earth, and environmental scientists cannot avoid talking about the political conditions of our planet even if all they want to do is study a river. Genocide is measurable in soil samples taken in the American continent. The separation of the environmental from the social is itself a historically contingent arrangement of knowledge.
But this is infuriating to even complain about because I don’t want to sound like an entitled academic or ego-bruised professional. I have no desire to start a faculty war with the STEM fields. I feel secure in my own expertise. I do not want anyone to “recognise my greatness” I am just profoundly lonely in this whole affair. and it just so happens that we exist in terribly anti-intellectual conditions for the most cruel and ugly reasons possible, and so we (me, I) have to suffer seeing books on sale claiming to give a general account of human history written by a physicist
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141 + reader
hc's when you five share the barracks together/just in general <3 (ooc, rushed my bad lmao, can be read platonically/romantically, reader is v close to them!!) kinda long oops 😩 might do a part 2 idk
nsfw version 🩷
there's a whole lot of testosterone and musk in the air when you're sharing living spaces with 4 men ‼️
all four men compete with each other to get your attention, even if it's unknowingly
whole lotta pouting when you're spending time with more man than the other, you're a great companion ;) and the army is lonely. they all need equal love and attention
speaking of, if you're smelling like one of them the other will immediately bundle you in his arms to put his scent on you instead and to cancel out the other (alpha behaviour 😵💫)
whole lotta flirting from each of them. they're all very intelligent soldiers, they know exactly what to say to get you going 😙
all of them adore the height difference with you. you get teased about it relentlessly (out of love obvi)
i don't think they're particularly messy men but ghost and gaz are the most cleanest, they like having their things in order and knowing where everything is
price is next because he's slumped with being captain so you'll see a lot of his paperwork around with coffee mugs from pulling all nighters
soap is more organised mess. it might look messy to you but he knows exactly where everything is
you, soap and gaz definitely have rap battles late at night. it starts of quiet but you'll usually hear price shouting at you three from his bedroom to stfu. ghost threatens to pull a grenade if you don't be quiet
assuming you're naturally a good cook, they'd all be so appreciative :") especially on bad days, your cooking reminds each of them of home (or lack of)
face masks! gaz would 100% be down to do them with you, soap would follow next because if gaz is doing it then he too???
ghost would roll his eyes, continuing polishing his guns with a rag "you ain't putting that muck on my face"
price would just look at you, shaking his head "got too much to do, sweetness"
but you're quite the convincer and all four men are on the floor of your bedroom, gossiping about the last mission with their preferred colour of face mask across their faces
assuming you're the only woman, they get very protective when you're hurt. soldiers get hurt from time to time but its different when it's you
"you alright, bonnie?" soap's gentle voice comes through your room as he hands you a warm mug of your fave drink
gaz had you wrapped in a big fluffy blanket, gently stroking your back
"who was it?" ghost's voice is firm, wanting to know who dared injured the youngest member of their team
"already got a handle on 'em" price follows, looking at the computer. whatever enemy dared to raise their hands on wished they'd be six feet under after all four men are done with them
you're the one each man needs when they're having a particularly bad day which are usually far in few between but sometimes it happens
gaz and soap are the types to seek you out, their faces settled in a troubled frown before they place their arms around you. no questions just yet, they just want to feel skin to skin for now. keeping them grounded before they can explain what happened. they're not looking for a fixer, just someone who'll listen
ghost and price are the type to isolate themselves for a while until it's night and then you'll find them gently knocking on your bedroom door and slipping inside, between your covers. their grip is strong, burying their faces deep into your neck whilst trying to wrap his arms as much as he can. these two won't talk much either, just looking to be held and stroked to calm down
ghost and soap are the type to show affection through lingering touches while gaz and price show affections through their words.
but speaking of hugs, each of them have their own special way they like to embrace
ghost thinks he's being slick but you realise just how touchstarved he really is, he gives hugs with his arms around your shoulders bringing you in to his chest. mostly because he's tall and broad but he likes how he can manhandle you from this position and smelling your scent <3
soap's the type to tackle you in a playful hug, maybe a spin to get a laugh out of you before he gently strokes your skin for a few seconds, a gentle kiss to your temple <3
price likes to hug from behind, resting his chin on your head while he looks at what you're doing. depending on you, his big arms are either wrapped on your waist or your shoulders <3
gaz gives side hugs because he likes linking his arm around your hips and he likes how you fit snugly into his body. and this way he can lean his head against yours and can bring you in closer with his other arm <3
all four can immediately smell you before you come in because they adore whatever perfume/spray you have
each of them would absolutely melt into pieces if you joined them/kept them company in what they were doing
and if they catch you in a towel after having a shower, best believe they're quickly walking back around to where they came from to help alleviate the growing... tent in their pants
lowkey kinda pervy 🫣 (never in a harmful way)
each of them have their strong points and would 100% train you in becoming stronger
even if you're a well established soldier, they all worry for your safety
price would teach you sniper techniques, ghost teaches you combat, gaz teaches you how to sharpen your aim and soap teaches you about explosives and how to construct/dismantle each of them
they take the training very seriously with you
a ton of cursing when their fave team loses lmaoo
if you're avid tea drinker, join the gaz/ghost/price club. if you're not, join the hater club with soap <3
ghost/gaz/soap will playfully fight with you, careful not to use their full strength and not to harm you. but it's so cute to them when you're struggling a little under them.
but when price scolds them in doing so, "i'm just helping in case there's an attack!"
if you're arguing against one of them, another will come to your defence. unless you're arguing all four then it's the silent treatment from you 🤭
all four of them melt when you call them by their real name instead of their callsign :")
ghost usually comes to you when his balaclava is broken and he'll keep you company as your fingers work their magic to the fabric, gently leaning against you as you speak to him
price will let you shape up his beard after you begging to do so and he grows to enjoy those tender moments
soap definitely calls for your help to shape up his mohawk, he trusts your hand to eye coordination above anyone elses
ghost will playfully ruffle your hair whenever you both pass each other
price gives you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder
gaz gives you a soft stroke on your arm or back whenever he's passing by
soap will gently tap his head against yours, not too hard to cause pain but just enough to know that he's there
but above all, the barracks you five share is definitely a safe space for each of them the second they come through the door <333
#call of duty modern warfare#cod mwii#simon riley#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john price#kyle gaz garrick#141 x reader#task force 141#cod 141#simon riley x reader#john price x reader#soap mactavish x reader#gaz x reader
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Bat-Family x Fem!OC
You hurt yourself doing home renovations
Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne (aged up), Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas, Selina Kyle & Kate Kane
Jason Todd aka. Red Hood
- You sit on the edge of the couch, dabbing at the scratch on your hand with a wet cloth. It’s a minor wound, nothing that warrants his concern, but Jason storms into the room the moment he hears you mutter a soft curse under your breath. His eyes dart to the crimson bead on your skin, and his jaw tightens. The roughness of his life has taught him to be wary of even the smallest injuries—too many scars bear the weight of things ignored. “What the hell happened?” he growls, crouching in front of you with a mix of panic and frustration. You tell him it’s nothing, just a mishap while sanding the baseboards, but Jason’s hands cradle yours as if you’ve just survived a war.
- His gaze softens as he takes the cloth from you and begins cleaning the wound himself. “You’ve got to be more careful,” he mutters, though there’s no real anger in his voice. Jason is a man of contradictions—fierce and tender, wild yet protective. The edge in his tone is not from annoyance but fear. You’ve seen him stare down criminals without blinking, yet the sight of your blood makes him falter. He cleans the wound with precision, a soldier’s efficiency honed by years of survival, but the way his fingers linger on your skin speaks of something far gentler.
- “Why didn’t you call me?” he asks after wrapping a bandage around your hand. You smile, brushing a stray lock of his dark hair from his forehead. “It’s just a scratch, Jason.” He scowls at your answer, but there’s no mistaking the way his shoulders relax now that you’re patched up. “Still,” he says, leaning back against the couch, “next time, just yell for me. I don’t care if it’s a papercut.” There’s something in his voice—an unspoken plea not to shut him out, not to leave him in the dark about even the smallest things. You nod, knowing it’s not worth the argument.
- Jason stays close to you for the rest of the evening, insisting you rest while he finishes the work you started. You watch as he moves around the room with surprising competence, muttering to himself about how you were using the wrong tools. It’s a rare sight, this domestic side of him, but it warms your heart to see him so invested in your safety and happiness. He pauses occasionally to glance your way, as if to reassure himself that you’re still there, still whole.
- Later, when the house is quiet and the renovations are forgotten, Jason pulls you into his arms. His embrace is fierce, almost desperate, as if he’s trying to shield you from the world. “You scared me,” he admits softly, his breath warm against your ear. You don’t apologize—you don’t need to—but you hold him just as tightly, grounding him in the moment. In his arms, you feel the weight of his love, raw and unyielding, and you know that he would do anything to keep you safe.
Dick Grayson aka. Nightwing
- When Dick first notices the faint cut on your hand, he doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he watches you from across the room, his blue eyes narrowing with concern. You’re trying to act as if nothing’s wrong, but he knows you too well. In a flash, he’s by your side, taking your hand in his with a featherlight touch. “What happened, beautiful?” he asks, his voice soft yet probing. You tell him about your home renovation mishap, expecting a lecture, but Dick only smiles—a small, knowing smile that says he’s already forgiven you for worrying him.
- He leads you to the kitchen, rummaging through drawers until he finds the first aid kit. “You really have to stop being so stubborn,” he teases, his voice light but tinged with genuine concern. As he cleans and bandages the cut, he peppers you with questions—what you were doing, why you didn’t call him, whether you’ve been taking breaks. It’s not interrogation; it’s care disguised as conversation. Dick has always had a way of making you feel like the center of his world, even in the smallest moments.
- “You know,” he says, his tone turning playful as he finishes wrapping your hand, “this could’ve been avoided if you’d just let me help you in the first place.” You roll your eyes, but you can’t hide your smile. Dick thrives on these moments of banter, using humor to ease the tension. He leans in closer, his forehead almost touching yours. “Promise me you’ll be more careful next time, okay?” His voice drops to a whisper, and the sincerity in his eyes leaves no room for argument. You nod, your heart fluttering at the intensity of his gaze.
- Later, Dick insists on finishing the renovations himself. You protest, but he silences you with a quick kiss and a mischievous grin. “I’ve got this,” he says, rolling up his sleeves. Watching him work is a sight to behold—his movements are graceful, almost acrobatic, as he tackles the task with ease. He hums a tune under his breath, glancing over his shoulder every so often to make sure you’re still watching. It’s in these moments that you’re reminded of how effortlessly he blends charm and competence.
- By the end of the day, Dick pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You scared me for a second there,” he admits, his voice barely audible. “I don’t like seeing you hurt, even if it’s something small.” You rest your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “I’m fine,” you reassure him, but he only tightens his hold on you. In his embrace, you feel the depth of his love—a love that is warm, unwavering, and as bright as the man himself.
Tim Drake aka. Red Robin
- Tim notices the faint injury almost immediately, his sharp eyes catching the way you wince as you flex your fingers. “You’re hurt,” he says, his tone calm but edged with worry. He takes your hand gently, inspecting the cut with the precision of someone used to analyzing details others might overlook. “How did this happen?” he asks, already piecing the story together from the scattered tools and sawdust nearby. You try to brush it off as nothing, but Tim is relentless in his quiet concern. “It might not look bad now, but even small injuries can get infected if you’re not careful,” he says, his words tinged with the wisdom of someone who’s seen too many situations spiral out of control.
- He disappears briefly, returning with a medical kit he seems to keep on hand for emergencies. “Sit down,” he instructs, his voice soft but firm. As he cleans the wound, his movements are careful, methodical, and surprisingly tender. Tim has always been meticulous, and this moment is no exception. He doesn’t say much as he works, but his focus speaks volumes. To Tim, taking care of you is not just a responsibility; it’s a privilege, one he approaches with the same dedication he gives to his mission.
- Once he’s done, Tim leans back, scrutinizing his handiwork with a small nod of approval. “You should’ve called me,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. There’s no accusation in his words, only a quiet plea. He knows you value your independence, but the thought of you tackling something dangerous without him makes his heart ache. “You don’t have to do everything alone,” he adds, his gaze meeting yours. In his eyes, you see a vulnerability he rarely shows—a fear of losing you to something as mundane as a careless accident.
- Tim insists on helping you finish the renovations, his logical mind already planning the most efficient way to get the job done. “I think we can sand the rest of this by hand—it’ll be safer,” he suggests, his tone laced with gentle compromise. As you work together, you notice how easily he shifts between precision and lightheartedness, cracking a joke here and there to keep the mood light. Tim thrives in collaboration, and you realize that even in these small moments, he’s teaching you how to lean on him without losing yourself.
- That night, as you sit together in the quiet of your newly finished space, Tim pulls you close, resting his forehead against yours. “You scared me today,” he admits, his voice steady but full of emotion. “I know it wasn’t a big deal, but it reminded me how much I care about you.” You smile, brushing a hand through his dark hair. “I’m okay,” you assure him, and he nods, though his arms around you tighten slightly. Tim’s love is deliberate, thoughtful, and profound, and in his embrace, you feel the unyielding strength of his devotion.
Damian Wayne aka. Robin
- Damian is not one to panic, but when he sees the faint streak of red on your hand, his emerald eyes darken with barely concealed concern. “What happened to you?” he demands, his voice sharper than intended. You try to downplay it, explaining that it was just a mishap with the wood you were sanding, but Damian is already at your side, inspecting the wound with the intensity of a detective. “This is unacceptable,” he mutters, shaking his head. His hands hover over yours, hesitant, as though he’s afraid of making it worse.
- Without waiting for your permission, Damian retrieves the first aid supplies. His movements are quick, almost impatient, but the way he handles your hand is unexpectedly gentle. “You should have called me,” he says, his tone betraying more frustration than he likely means. Damian is used to control, to being prepared for every eventuality, and the idea of you hurting yourself while he wasn’t there unsettles him deeply. As he bandages your hand, he doesn’t look up, his focus entirely on the task. “You’re too important to be so careless,” he adds softly, his words a rare glimpse into his guarded heart.
- Once your hand is tended to, Damian crosses his arms, regarding you with a mix of exasperation and worry. “You will allow me to assist you with these renovations,” he declares, leaving no room for argument. There’s an almost regal quality to his insistence, as though protecting you is a duty he’s sworn to uphold. Despite his brusque demeanor, you can’t help but smile at his determination. Damian notices and narrows his eyes. “This is not amusing,” he says, though the faintest hint of a blush betrays his embarrassment.
- As the two of you work side by side, Damian’s intensity softens, his perfectionist tendencies blending with a genuine desire to help. He critiques your technique—more out of habit than necessity—but his commentary is laced with a subtle warmth. “You’re quite capable,” he admits begrudgingly after a while, though his pride won’t let him praise you outright. You tease him about his reluctance, and for a moment, his usual stoicism gives way to a rare, quiet laugh.
- Later, as you rest, Damian sits beside you, his hand brushing against yours. “You frightened me,” he confesses, his voice barely audible. “I cannot bear the thought of you being hurt.” His words are heavy with sincerity, each one a testament to the depth of his feelings. You lean into him, and though he stiffens slightly—still unused to such open vulnerability—he doesn’t pull away. Damian’s love is fierce and unyielding, a shield against the world, and in that moment, you know you are his greatest treasure.
Barbara Gordon aka. Oracle / Batgirl
- When Barbara sees the bandage on your hand, her sharp mind immediately begins piecing together what happened. “What did you do?” she asks, her voice a mix of concern and curiosity. You explain the accident, expecting her to tease you, but instead, her brows furrow in worry. “Why didn’t you call me?” she asks, wheeling closer to examine your hand. Her fingers are cool and steady as they trace the edges of the bandage. “You’re not supposed to get hurt during DIY projects, you know,” she quips, though her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
- She insists on rechecking your handiwork, her years of experience as Oracle making her hyper-aware of potential oversights. “You did a decent job,” she admits, though she redoes the bandage with the efficiency of someone who’s patched up countless injuries before. As she works, she peppers you with questions—not out of distrust, but out of a need to ensure you’re truly okay. Barbara’s care is thorough and practical, but beneath it lies a tenderness she rarely shows so openly.
- “You’re way too stubborn,” she says with a mock sigh, sitting back once she’s satisfied with the bandage. “That’s one of the things I love about you, but it also drives me crazy.” You laugh, and the sound seems to ease some of the tension in her shoulders. Barbara has always been quick-witted and resilient, but when it comes to you, her usual composure gives way to a vulnerability that’s as beautiful as it is rare. “Just promise me you’ll be more careful,” she says, her tone softening.
- Barbara insists on helping you finish the renovations, her technical expertise shining through as she devises clever solutions to the challenges you were facing. “You know, this would’ve been easier with the right tools,” she teases, handing you a screwdriver. Working with her is effortless, her confidence infectious as she guides you through the process. She shares stories from her own DIY adventures, her laughter filling the room as she recounts her less-than-perfect attempts.
- Later, as you sit together in the glow of your completed work, Barbara reaches for your hand, her touch light but reassuring. “You scared me today,” she admits, her voice steady but tinged with emotion. “I know you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry.” You squeeze her hand, offering a silent promise to be more careful. Barbara’s love is a beacon—strong, unwavering, and endlessly supportive—and in her presence, you feel both cherished and empowered.
Stephanie Brown aka. Spoiler
- When Stephanie notices the makeshift bandage on your hand, she’s by your side in an instant, her blue eyes wide with concern. “What did you do this time?” she asks, her voice playful but edged with worry. You try to wave her off, but she grabs your hand gently, examining the wound with a detective’s scrutiny. “This doesn’t look too bad,” she says, her lips curving into a small smile. “But seriously, you’ve got to stop giving me heart attacks.” She pulls you into the kitchen, where she starts rummaging through drawers for the first aid kit.
- As she cleans the wound, Stephanie’s chatter fills the room, her words a mix of gentle scolding and humorous commentary. “You know, I could’ve helped. I’m pretty handy with a power drill, believe it or not,” she quips, her tone light. But when she wraps your hand with fresh bandages, her touch is soft, and her expression turns serious. “I’m not mad, just… be more careful, okay?” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. You nod, her sincerity grounding you in the moment.
- “Alright, that’s enough sitting around. I’m taking over,” she declares, jumping up and grabbing the tools you were using. Despite your protests, she flashes you a grin. “Relax, I’ve got this. Besides, someone has to keep you from getting into more trouble.” Watching Stephanie work is a mix of chaos and charm. She’s not the most precise, but her enthusiasm is infectious, and she makes sure to include you in the fun.
- She pauses occasionally to glance your way, her laughter bubbling up as she shares a joke or a story from her days as Spoiler. “Remember the time I tried to fix that chair and ended up breaking two others?” she asks, giggling at the memory. Her energy fills the space, making even the mundane task of sanding wood feel like an adventure. “See? I’m a professional,” she teases, flexing her arms dramatically.
- Later, as you both collapse on the couch, Stephanie wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. “You scared me for a second there,” she admits, her voice softer now. “But I’m glad you’re okay.” She presses a kiss to your temple, her lips warm against your skin. “Next time, we’re doing this together, deal?” In her embrace, you feel the full force of her love—bright, unyielding, and as unpredictable as the woman herself.
Cassandra Cain aka. Orphan
- Cassandra notices your injury before you can even explain it. Her sharp, observant eyes catch the way you cradle your hand, and she’s beside you in a heartbeat. “You’re hurt,” she says simply, her voice calm but laced with concern. She takes your hand gently, her movements careful as she inspects the wound. You assure her it’s nothing serious, but Cassandra shakes her head. “It matters,” she says softly, her gaze meeting yours.
- Without another word, she retrieves the first aid kit and begins cleaning the cut with meticulous care. Cassandra doesn’t need words to convey her feelings—her touch says everything. There’s a tenderness in the way she handles your hand, a silent promise to always protect you. She works quickly but gently, her focus unwavering. “Done,” she says finally, a small smile tugging at her lips.
- Cassandra gestures toward the tools you were using, her expression curious. “Show me,” she says, nodding toward the project you’d been working on. She listens intently as you explain, her attention wholly on you. When you offer to continue, she shakes her head. “Together,” she says firmly. Despite her quiet nature, Cassandra’s presence is commanding, and you find yourself nodding in agreement.
- Working with Cassandra is seamless. Her movements are fluid, almost dancer-like, as she takes on tasks with a quiet confidence. She doesn’t speak much, but the moments of shared silence are comforting, her steady presence grounding you. Occasionally, she glances your way, a faint smile playing on her lips as if to remind you that she’s there.
- That evening, as the renovations come to an end, Cassandra sits beside you, her hand resting lightly on yours. “You scared me,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.” Her words are simple, but the weight behind them is profound. You squeeze her hand, and she leans her head against your shoulder. In her quiet way, Cassandra shows you a love that is deep, unwavering, and unspoken yet always understood.
Duke Thomas aka. Signal
- “Whoa, what happened here?” Duke’s warm voice pulls you from your work as he notices the fresh bandage on your hand. He steps closer, his amber eyes narrowing in concern. “Please tell me you didn’t try to wrestle a piece of wood or something,” he teases, but the worry in his tone is evident. When you explain what happened, Duke shakes his head with a small laugh. “You’re something else, you know that?” he says, taking your hand to inspect the injury.
- Duke grabs the first aid kit and sits you down. “I’m no Alfred, but I think I can handle this,” he jokes, his touch careful as he replaces your bandage. As he works, he talks you through the process, his voice steady and reassuring. “You really scared me for a second,” he admits, glancing up at you. “Next time, just call me, alright? I’m good with more than just a Batarang.”
- After patching you up, Duke insists on helping you finish the renovations. “I’m not letting you do this alone,” he says, his smile warm and determined. Watching Duke work is like watching the sun—bright, energetic, and full of life. He tackles the task with a blend of skill and enthusiasm, cracking jokes to keep the mood light.
- Duke is a natural at making everything feel like a team effort. He hums under his breath as he works, occasionally glancing your way to make sure you’re okay. “You know,” he says, pausing to wipe some sawdust from his hands, “we make a pretty good team.” His grin is contagious, and you find yourself smiling despite the day’s chaos.
- As the day winds down, Duke pulls you into a gentle hug. “Don’t scare me like that again,” he says, his voice low but full of emotion. “You mean too much to me.” His arms around you are strong and comforting, a reminder of how deeply he cares. In Duke’s embrace, you feel the warmth of his love—steady, protective, and as radiant as the man himself.
Selina Kyle aka. Catwoman
- Selina’s sharp eyes catch the bandage on your hand the moment she walks into the room. “What did my beautiful troublemaker get into this time?” she asks, her voice a silky purr. Before you can respond, she’s at your side, lifting your hand gently to examine it. “Tsk, tsk. And here I thought you knew how to handle yourself,” she teases, though the concern in her gaze is undeniable.
- She retrieves a small first aid kit from her bag—because of course Selina Kyle is always prepared. “Hold still, darling,” she says as she carefully unwraps and replaces your bandage. Her movements are precise and practiced, her touch light but firm. “You’ve got to be more careful,” she says, her tone soft but firm. “If you’re going to get hurt, at least let me be there to enjoy the show.”
- Selina insists on finishing the work you started, her feline grace evident in every movement. “This isn’t so hard,” she says, her lips curving into a playful smirk. “Though I have to admit, I didn’t picture myself as the DIY type.” She works efficiently, pausing occasionally to flash you a sly grin. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
- As the work continues, Selina’s humor keeps the atmosphere light. “You know,” she says, leaning on the edge of the table, “you could’ve just bribed me with a good meal, and I’d have done all of this for you.” Her laughter fills the room, a sound that feels like a reward in itself.
- Later, as you sit together, Selina wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “You’re too precious to be getting hurt over something so mundane,” she says, her voice low and sincere. “Promise me you’ll call me next time?” You nod, and she smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Selina’s love is like her—mischievous, passionate, and fiercely protective, leaving you feeling utterly adored.
Kate Kane aka. Batwoman
- Kate notices the bandage on your hand the moment she walks in. “What happened?” she asks, her tone direct but laced with concern. When you explain, she frowns, crossing her arms. “You should’ve called me,” she says matter-of-factly, though her sharp gaze softens as she steps closer. “Let me see,” she says, her voice quieter now.
- She examines your hand with the precision of someone who’s had far too much experience patching people up. “It’s not bad,” she says, though her expression remains serious. As she cleans and rewraps the bandage, her movements are efficient but gentle. “You’ve got to be more careful,” she says, her voice firm but not unkind.
- Kate insists on taking over the renovations, her military training shining through in her methodical approach. “Step back,” she says, gesturing for you to sit. “I’ve got this.” Watching her work is mesmerizing—each movement deliberate, each decision calculated. Despite her no-nonsense demeanor, she glances your way occasionally, her lips curving into a small smile when she catches your eye.
- As the day progresses, Kate softens, her dry humor breaking through her usual stoicism. “You’re lucky I like you,” she teases, smirking as she adjusts a crooked frame. “Otherwise, I’d be charging you for this.” Her laughter is rare, but when it comes, it lights up the room.
- That evening, Kate sits beside you, her arm draped casually over your shoulders. “You scared me today,” she admits, her voice low but steady. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.” She presses a kiss to your temple, her touch lingering. Kate’s love is steadfast and unyielding, a protective shield that makes you feel safe and cherished in a way only she can provide.
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#tim drake x reader#red robin x reader#damian wayne x reader#robin x reader#barbara gordon x reader#batgirl x reader#stephanie brown x reader#cassandra cain x reader#duke thomas x reader#selina kyle x reader#catwoman x reader#kate kane x reader#batwoman x reader#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#batman x reader#dc x reader#dc comics imagines#dc comics headcanons#dc comics x reader#dc imagine#dc comics#dc
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✑ 𝓉𝓎𝓅𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒷𝑜𝓎𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝜗𝜚 𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓌𝑒

So, since Crowe is definitely my first fave of tab, so I just had to write more about him! Mostly focus on relationship canons, but shoutout to @i90o3 for the inspo!
𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔: 18+ NO KIDS (Adults Only) This content contains mature themes unsuitable for children. Please respect the creator's intentions.
I also threw in a bunch of my own general headcanons because honestly, Crowe has so much lore that I could talk about him forever (I won’t; it’ll be too damn long.)
He's got this whole backstory and vibe that I can't get enough of. Plus, I’m all about fleshing out his character even more, so I added a few of my personal twists on how I see him in different situations, especially when it comes to relationships.
He's such a layered character, and it's fun to dive deep into his personality.
[ 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ]
Okay, so let's talk about Crowe as a boyfriend. Honestly, he's everything—the perfect mix of charm, attention, and emotional depth. If you're the type of person who wants a relationship that's all about connection, balance, and growing together, Crowe is that guy.
He's basically the definition of a dream guy—like, he’s got that old-school chivalry thing down, a fucking prince, but it's not forced or anything. It just comes naturally to him. He’s thoughtful in ways that’ll make you smile, like he’s always paying attention to what you need and finding ways to show you he cares. The affection? Relentless, in the best way possible. He’ll make you feel like the center of his universe without hesitation.
And if you’re someone who thinks love can’t be that over-the-top, grand, movie-romance type, Crowe is out here proving everyone wrong. He’s the type to sweep you off your feet with the little things and make every moment together feel like an wonderful love story.
✑ The Gentleman Extraordinaire
GENTLEMAN, GENTLEMAN, GENTLEMAN. DEAR LORD! Okay, okay, hear me out—Like, I started playing the game for Sol—I was all in for Sol, but then Crowe shows up, and suddenly I’m sitting here like, "Sol, who?" Crowe doesn’t just win your heart—he walks in, takes it, and leaves you wondering how you ever lived without him. He’s that boyfriend who ruins all other boyfriends because he’s not trying to compete—he’s just naturally that good at loving you.
He’s got this smooth, polished vibe, like a real-life Prince Charming, but not in some cheesy, over-the-top way. No, Crowe’s the kind of charming that feels real because it is He’s not all about appearances—there’s this kindness and humility that just grounds him. He’s perfect, but not in an intimidating way; he’s perfect in a “why this man doesn’t exist?” way. T-T
You know when he shows up to meet your friends or family? Game over. He’s got that effortless grace, that charisma that makes everyone around him feel special. Your friends are like, "Wow, he’s amazing," and your mom is already planning the wedding. But here’s the thing—Crowe doesn’t care about impressing everyone. He just cares about you, His whole vibe screams, “I’m here to love you and make your life amazing.” And he does.
He doesn’t wait around asking, “When are you free?” Nope. Crowe says, “Meet me outside in 20,” and next thing you know, you’re at this secret little café, or on a picnic in some perfect, out-of-the-way spot, or just laying on the grass, looking up at the stars that somehow feels magical—not odd because he’s there. And everything he does feels so intentional—like, this man doesn’t try to be romantic; he is romantic.
He’s that guy who makes opening doors and pulling out chairs look like an art form. Like, you could be wearing sweats, but somehow when you’re out with him, the whole scene feels like it belongs in a movie.
Date night with Crowe? Babe, you’re not just going out for a night—you’re straight-up walking into a fashion shoot without even trying. This man is obsessed with matching outfits, but not in a cheesy way. Nah, it’s all about that subtle, cohesive vibe—same color schemes, the same textures.
And when you’re brainstorming outfits together? That’s part of the fun! It's like a mini fashion show before the actual date. And don’t even get me started on how he lets you borrow his clothes. You know this man is elite when his clothes smell like pure heaven and still fit you like a glove. Yall see how that man is built.
Crowe isn’t just boyfriend material, he’s the whole soulmate package. Like, seriously—he’s everything. I’m not even making this up, this man is next level.
✑ The Romantic Idealist
Crowe loves you like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and he’s not shy about it—like, at all. His love is this big, bold, cinematic thing, but also these soft, quiet moments that hit just as hard. It’s like he’s figured out how to be a walking rom-com and your comfort person all at once.
And Prince? Oh, Prince is charming for sure, but let’s be real: he’s more of a mother hen than some storybook prince. Brittney nailed it when she said that. He’s got that whole “nagging but with love” vibe, plus the way he carries himself. It’s giving “protective energy” more than “royal decree.”
And, Oh, you’ll never be unsure about how he feels. The man says, “I love you,” like it’s second nature—like he doesn’t even realize it’s slipping out half the time. And the way he looks at you? You know, the kind of gaze that makes your knees forget how to function? Yeah, that.
Then there are the little surprises: handwritten notes that are so sweet they feel illegal, gifts that aren’t just thoughtful but feel like they were plucked straight from your Pinterest board, and dates planned around stuff you didn’t even realize you’d mentioned. He’s not just big on the show of it; he’s big on knowing you, like, really knowing you.
And if you’re having a bad day or feeling some type of way? Crowe is on it. Insecurity? What’s that? Because he’s about to drop a forehead kiss, some whispered reassurances or even a whole TED Talk about why you’re literally the best human being alive. He’s not stopping until you believe it.
Lastly, flowers? Don’t even get me started. Crowe’s the kind of guy who gives flowers just because it’s Tuesday, and he definitely knows flower language. Like, he’ll bring you a bouquet and casually mention the meaning behind every bloom. It’s all very “main character in a dating sim.” even though he’s very much a second lead energy. You know exactly what I mean.
✑ Intimacy, Comfort, and Softness
Okay, so Crowe’s whole vibe is just… ugh, so comforting, in the way he shows up physically and emotionally.
Like, this man has a gift for making you feel safe and treasured, but also a little breathless. It’s the way he reads you, you know? He picks up on even the tiniest mood shifts and is right there—whether it’s to hold you, help you, or just let you vent without even asking for it.
And communication? Oh, he’s the king of creating that safe little bubble where you can spill your guts and not feel judged.
Oh, but don’t let that fool you—this man is such a tease. He loves getting under your skin in that playful, flirty way that has you pouting and glaring at him, and he’s just standing there with this little smirk. And honestly? You’d swear you catch him blushing every now and then when you pout back, but it’s so subtle you almost gaslight yourself into thinking it’s the lighting.
Now, THE HAIR. His Hair ™ deserves its own spotlight.
It’s a masterpiece, okay? Always soft, always smelling faintly of lavender or jasmine or some other magical scent that just makes you wanna dive face-first into it and never leave. Like, what’s his secret? Witchcraft? Angels? I don’t even care—it’s perfect.
And the texture? Bruh, it’s so smooth it’s unreal. Like, you run your fingers through it once, and suddenly you’re hooked. I’m talking brushing it, styling it, or just running your hands through it like it’s your job. Don’t even get me started.
But here’s the kicker: when you start massaging his scalp? Game over. This man is so sensitive, like his entire soul leaves his body. But wait, I’m not even close to done. His hair has its own little personality, just radiating vibes that scream, “Take care of me, love me, worship me.” And you do. Because you have to.
And if you dare to tug on his hair—ohhh, let me tell you, it’s a wrap. He just melts, full-on turns into a puddle with those big heart eyes, looking at you like you’re the only person in the universe. And the way he’s silently begging for more? Sir. Sir. You’re playing a dangerous game, Crowe.
Soft words, soft touches—the whole package. He’s the kind of person who will cup your face like you're the most important thing in the world and just whisper how incredible you are.
Or he’ll casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear while you’re talking like it’s no big deal, but it makes you feel like you're wrapped up in this cozy, gentle bubble. Honestly, it’s the kind of affection that just melts you.
You’d have him all peaceful and chill, just resting on your chest, no worries. It’s like his version of a personal reset button. I can’t even deal with how perfect that sounds.
Oh yeah! Let’s talk about his sleep, though. Crowe sleeps like a freaking Disney princess. Aurora who? Like, imagine the most peaceful, beautiful sleeping face ever. And okay, yeah, there’s a bit of a “corpse but make it art” vibe, because how can anyone look that good just… lying there? I’m so sorry, couldn't help it.
Crowe is all about that closeness, like, he loves resting his head on you. Whether it’s on the top of your head or just leaning on your shoulder, he thrives on that kind of support. It’s like his way of saying he trusts you with his energy.
And if you smell nice? Oh, he’s all about it. Like, if you're wearing something musky, floral, or have a hint of perfume, he’s in heaven. It’s like his little sensory heaven, and he’ll lean in a little closer just to get that extra whiff.
When it comes to hugs, it’s a mutual effort—you both kinda have this rhythm after learning each other’s boundaries. But when you do hug, Crowe’s hands usually find their way to your waist, not your chest or neck. It’s like this cozy, grounded thing where he wants to feel close but also be respectful of space.
If you’re feeling extra chill with him, he’d probably fall asleep in your arms, no questions asked. This boy just needs rest, and you’re the perfect pillow. But if he does fall asleep while hugging you? Good luck getting those arms to move. It’s like they’re made of steel or something—they’re not going anywhere. And honestly, who would want them to? It feels so good being wrapped up in his arms.
Seriously, though, his hugs are just addictive. Like, once you get one, you just want more. It’s warm, comforting, and feels like a personal little world just between the two of you. Just shower him with hugs in return—he’s craving it, trust me, especially when it’s just the two of you, behind closed doors. You’re honestly doing him a favor. But the only thing that could top his hugs? His kisses, hands down.
Like, don’t even get me started with his kisses—UGHH.
Crowe is ALL about them. Need kisses? Boom. Hands, cheeks, forehead, neck—whatever you want, he’s got you covered, babe. And if you’re cool with a PDA? Honey, he’s laying it on thick.
Like, smooches in front of everyone if anyone even thinks about making you jealous. But if you’re not into PDA, he’s got this smooth way of keeping you close—hand on your waist, pulling you into conversations, constantly checking in with those little glances that just scream, you’re my world.
And when it comes to love? Crowe doesn’t do things halfway. Do you need reassurance? He’s sitting you down for the most real heart-to-heart. Do you want more kisses? Babe, he’s already on it, no hesitation. If you’re the jealous type? Oh, he’s not just telling you he loves you; he’s showing it, making it crystal clear to everyone else, too.
And the pet names? My love, my dove, my heart—he’s laying them on THICK with a capital T; I swear to god, those aren’t the exact nicknames from the game itself, more like examples as I want you guys to see for yourself as I’m not lying!—I was eating it up every single time.
✑ The Ultimate Hype Man
Crowe is that person who’s just built to hype you up. Like, your wins? Automatically his wins. He’s out here making sure everyone and their mama knows just how proud he is of you.
But he has serious Cheerleader Energy—like, it’s not even casual. You finally ate today without forgetting, and this guy is acting like you just won Best Picture at the Oscars. Got a good grade on your test? He’s probably already planning a parade route through your neighborhood.
And if you failed that test? No worries—he’s showing up with your favorite snacks, ready to hype you up like, “It’s one test; you’re still a genius, obviously.” Honestly, I could’ve used that kind of energy after finals this year because…wow, the struggle. T-T
But it’s not just about the hype with Crowe. Oh no, he’s deeper than that. He’s the guy who’s like, “What’s your passion? Let’s chase it down,” and he actually has good advice, not just “follow your dreams” fluff. Like, practical, actionable stuff that makes you feel like you can actually do the thing. And the best part? He’s not just clapping for the big wins; he’s cheering for every little step you take, even the awkward ones.
Crowe’s that boyfriend—even friend who celebrates you while also making sure you’re constantly leveling up—and honestly, we all need a Crowe in our lives.
And oh, the reliability? Unmatched. Whether you need someone to hash out a problem, cheer you through a tough time, or just sit there as your unshakable rock, he’s there. No doubts, no drama. You can count on him to show up, fully present—both physically and emotionally.
Also, let’s talk about his socials. They’re basically a love letter to you. Couple pics, goofy candids, and those long, heartfelt stories where he’s just out here spilling about how lucky he is? Crowe’s all about letting the world know how much he adores you.
✑ Tailored to You
Crowe’s love language? All of them. He's like a walking, talking Swiss Army knife of affection, but with a twist: “I will become whatever you need me to be.” It's honestly wild. His default? Quality Time and Acts of Service, no question. He's the type of guy to be like, "I love you, and here's how I’m going to prove it." But the real magic happens when he adjusts based on whatever makes you happy. Do you like something? Oh, bet. He’ll be all over it, mastering it just for you.
— Physical Touch?
Crowe's all about that. Like, he will hold your hand just because, mess with your hair while you're chilling, and literally just hug the life out of you. It’s not some half-hearted stuff either—it’s the kind of touch that screams, “You are my world, and I’ll keep you close.”
— Acts of Service?
If you think you’re doing anything on your own, think again. Crowe's the guy who’s like, “Need help with your assignments? I’ll be your tutor, even if I don’t understand the material, I’ll pay someone or learn it myself. Running errands? I’ve got it covered.” He's all in on making your life easier, and that’s his way of showing love. He’ll get you that coffee you like without even asking.
— Words of Affirmation?
Man, if you thought he was shy with his words, you clearly don't know Crowe. He’s got this endless list of compliments, and he’s not shy about throwing them your way. “You’re amazing, you’re perfect, here’s why—let me list it out for you.” And let’s be real, he can’t stop talking about how great you are. Like, you’ll be sitting with him and next thing you know, he's telling his friends, “They are literally the best person ever,” and his friends just like, “Okay, we get it, you’re in love.”
— Quality Time?
When he’s with you, every second matters. Doesn’t matter if you’re just hanging out, watching a movie, or even just sitting there. He makes everything feel intentional like this moment right now is the only one that matters. He’s not just there, he’s fully present, and that makes everything feel special.
— Gift Giving?
This man doesn't just grab anything random. Oh no, every gift is like a peek into his brain where he’s thought about what would make you smile. It’s always something meaningful that shows he’s paying attention to what you care about. It’s like he can see straight into your soul and get you exactly what you didn’t even know you wanted.
✑ Tailored to Him
When it comes to receiving love for himself, though? Crowe’s all about Words of Affirmation and Quality Time, with a little sprinkle of Physical Touch in there. And honestly, it makes sense because (okay, I’m guessing here), but he definitely has some emotional trauma—like, maybe growing up too fast? Like he’s so independent… I NEED more into his backstory because something made him this way.
— Words of Affirmation?
They’re everything to him. Sometimes he just needs you to remind him that he’s doing okay. Tell him he’s not a failure, that he’s enough, and watch him melt. Like, imagine gently cupping his face and whispering, “You’re amazing, Crowe.” Boom. He’s soft, he’s vulnerable, and he’s all yours.
— Quality Time?
With his hectic schedule (hello, Student Council energy), any second you spend with him is like gold. And don’t even get me started on the fact that If you ask to hang out? Instant heart eyes. And the man STARES, okay? Like a full-on, unapologetic admiration station. Whether you’re looking back at him or not, he’s just soaking you in because, in his eyes, you’re an his actual deity.
— Physical Touch?
Okay, so picture this: when you’re out in public with Crowe, there’s always some kind of touching happening, and it’s the softest, most consistent thing ever. Like, dude’s got this constant need to feel you’re there, but it’s not over-the-top—it’s just perfect. Holding hands? That’s a given. Arm brushing as you walk side by side? Absolutely. Waist-hugging? Oh, for sure.
And you know what? Let’s throw in pinky-holding because I feel like he’s the type who’d totally be into that—like, tell me that wouldn’t be the cutest thing ever! Ugh, I’ve always wanted to try that. My heart can’t take it T-T. If there’s a way to be close to you, he’s doing it.
Crowe’s basically the poster child for “can’t get enough of you” energy, but somehow it’s not overwhelming? Just... natural, like breathing?
Now, alone time? Oh man, let me tell you, this guy is so touch-starved, and it’s the sweetest thing ever. It’s not like he’s clingy—no, it’s way softer than that. It’s more like this quiet, unspoken please in his body language, like, “I just need you to hold me right now, and maybe, maybe for always.” And when he’s in that space, when he wraps himself up in you, it’s so clear he craves it—but not in a way that feels desperate.
It’s more like he’s letting himself finally believe he deserves to be cared for like this. And oh my god, the kisses. When Crowe kisses you, holding you like you’re the only thing anchoring him to the world? It’s not just a kiss, okay? It’s an entire moment, a whole event. Like, “Shut up and take my soul, I guess this is my life now” kind of kiss. It’s breathtaking. You can’t just walk away from that; it stays with you.
Imagine this: you're just chilling on Crowe's bed, right? Lying there, talking about the most random stuff, maybe arguing over whether pineapple belongs on pizza or spiraling into some deep existential question. Just vibing, you know?
And then… THEN, you start noticing the way he’s looking at you. Like, he’s not just glancing—he’s doing that triangle method thing. His eyes flick from yours to your lips and back again, and you’re like, “Oh… oh he wants to kiss me. Like, RIGHT NOW.” You can feel it. It’s so obvious. He’s got that look, like you’re the only thing in the world he could possibly care about in this moment.
And it’s so soft at first. You both kind of lean in, and his lips just barely brush yours, like he’s scared he’ll mess it up if he moves too fast. And let me tell you—his lips? SO soft, like pillowy clouds. They’re full and perfect, and the way he kisses you? It’s like he thinks you’re made of glass, like he’s handling the most delicate, precious thing in the entire universe.
But then… something changes.
Like, something inside him snaps. It’s not just a kiss anymore—it’s a KISS. There’s this desperation, but not in a bad way. It’s like he’s been holding all these feelings in for so long, and now they’re just spilling out, like words he doesn’t know how to say with anything other than this kiss. His lips move with this crazy mix of hunger and tenderness like he’s trying to tell you without words how much you mean to him, how long he’s been waiting for this.
And the wild part? You can feel it. Every ounce of longing, every stolen glance, every unsaid word—it’s all in that kiss. It’s sweet and fiery at the same time, like he’s savoring every second, but also like he’s terrified it’ll all just vanish if he doesn’t hold on tight enough.
And then when he pulls away? Oh my god. The way he looks at you. Those deep blue eyes of his just lock onto you, and it’s like the entire universe shrinks down to just the two of you. He rests his forehead against yours, catching his breath, and he doesn’t even have to say anything. It’s just there, written all over his face. That look that says, I’m gone for you. Completely, hopelessly yours.
Also, his hands? Oh, his hands tell their own story. They’re soft and deliberate, cupping your face like you’re his whole world, his thumbs gently brushing over your cheekbones. Sometimes, his fingers hold your hair, pulling you just a little closer like he can’t get enough. Other times, his hands settle on your waist, grounding him, but there’s this light tremble—like even touching you sends a wave of overwhelming affection through him.
✑ Flaws? Hardly. But…
Crowe’s not perfect, but that’s the thing—his flaws are part of his charm, you know?
Like, he’s this guy who’ll go out of his way to keep the peace. He’s not about unnecessary drama and will dodge a tough conversation if he can. But here’s the thing—his love for you? It’s bigger than his fear of awkwardness or confrontation. He’ll choose to work through it for the sake of the relationship every time.
Take how he probably freaked out about confessing to you. Terrified.
I bet he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he didn’t want to ruin what you two already had. But when push comes to shove, he’d face that fear head-on because, for him, it’s worth it. And don’t even get me started on what happens if someone dares to hurt or disrespect you.
Sweet, peace-loving Crowe? Gone. You’ll see this bold, fiery version of him who’ll stand up for you without hesitation.
The thing about Crowe is he’ll do everything to make you happy, but sometimes he forgets about himself in the process. He’s so busy putting everyone else first that he can burn out or feel underappreciated, especially if he doesn’t see the same effort coming back. So yeah, remind him now and then that you’ve got his back too. He’ll probably act all humble about it, but he needs it.
And let’s be real—he’s not used to being the one cared for. Crowe’s always been the caretaker, so letting you in? Yeah, he’ll need a little nudge. (Cue those moments where he low-key deflects when it gets too real—classic fanfic material)
His conflict-avoidance thing? That’s where it gets tricky. Like, he won’t let you walk away from an argument upset—no chance. He’ll bend over backward to smooth things over because he has to see you happy. But if the shoe’s on the other foot? Spoiler alert: he might not just come out and say what’s bothering him. Instead, he’ll hit you with questions, all casual-like, about stuff that might be bugging him. It’s almost sneaky, but it’s totally him trying to figure things out without making it a thing.
And oh, my God, the romance. Crowe HAS TO BE extra af. Grand gestures, public displays—he’s all in, and everyone around you is swooning or jealous. It’s cute, don’t get me wrong, but if you’re the shy type?
Yeah, good luck with that.
✑ Thoughts + Ranting
So, disclaimer upfront: none of this is canon, just my thoughts and headcanons. A lot of these ideas come from some scenes in the game (spoilers ahead) and his character profile, which I'll share at the end for context.
Okay, so something about Crowe just screams "rich kid" to me. I know, it’s probably obvious to some people, but hear me out. In the game, he lives on the other side of town, right? And, spoilers, there’s that scene where he has a driver pick him up on the second day when you two get caught in the rain and at the end of the night, he has to go home.
Like, come on, rich people don’t just walk in the rain, they have drivers. Then let's talk about his clothes for a second. His shirts, especially that purple one, are super fancy. Like, where do you even buy a button-up shirt with that many buttons, and in that exact shade of purple? Not from a fast fashion store. I’m no expert on high-end clothes, but I’m pretty sure those are designer.
Anyway, he’s definitely got a backstory in the whole “rich hierarchy” world, though I think he’s dropped down a peg or two. After all creator said so herself that Crowe story will be pretty rocky.
There are two ways you can lose that high-ranking rich status: either you flunk out of a class or you do something big that gets you kicked out.
And with Crowe? I feel like it’s the second option. He’s definitely got that chip on his shoulder like he’s got something to prove, you know? That intense drive to show everyone that he’s more than just whatever they think of him.
— Example One! First-day scene.
So, if you choose the option (though, if I remember correctly, I think you’d become all overwhelmed), you end up having a little cry fest because you’re so worried about being too much for Crowe.
You’re thinking you’re being overbearing, like maybe you’ve crossed a line, and it’s all too much. So, you’re crying up on the roof—classic, right? But after that, you dry those tears, pull yourself together, and go off to your next class. And, of course, Crowe finds you. And you know what? He’s already comforting you because he can see right through the tired, tear-streaked face and knows exactly what went down.
But then, just when you think it’s a nice moment, someone from the student council shows up, searching for Crowe. They say he’s been looking for you all over the place, and they need him right now. And Crowe’s response?
“I don’t fucking care…” Honestly, that moment threw me off guard, but also—like, low-key swoony? Like, you don’t see that kind of attitude every day, and it was kinda hot.
— Then Crowe’s library scene—oh man.
So, Crowe kinda tests you there. He asks if you’d still stick by “Marie Antoinette” (which I think he’s talking about mom in metaphor) even with all the nasty rumors flying around about her. He’s basically asking if you’d trust her, or if you’d believe all the gossip from both the rich and poor folks alike. And the way he reacts if you choose to stay loyal to her?
Tears in his eyes. Earn points. It’s heartbreaking, honestly. You can tell he’s got so much riding on that trust like it really means the world to him.
But if you fall for the rumors and go with what everyone else says, Crowe’s visibly upset, and you lose points for it. It’s a tough call, right? Like, on one hand, the rumors could be true, but on the other, I feel like you should trust the person you know best. Trust is everything to him, and it’s hard not to see that.
Also, I’m pretty sure Crowe is an only child. I’m just feeling that vibe, you know? I headcanon that his mom (or both parents, but mostly his mom) are always off working or traveling for work, leaving him alone for long stretches of time. So, he probably spends a lot of time by himself.
That means he does all the household chores and probably picks up a lot of cooking skills, but here’s the thing: I don’t think he actually eats what he makes that often. He’s probably so used to being alone that he just makes meals for himself but ends up bringing the food to campus for you instead. It’s like a weirdly thoughtful gesture, even if it’s a little lonely at its core.
— Okay, so I have to add to this because of the new Crowe update?
Literally a chef's kiss. I just played it recently since I’ve been swamped with finals, so I’m a little behind, but omg. I’m so here for it. Like, I can't wait to see how the story unfolds and especially how Sol’s gonna react to everything. Dammit, creator, why make us wait for it? But honestly, I’ll wait. It’s gonna be worth it, I’m sure.
And, so before the update, Crowe was kinda just... there.
Like, we all knew we had a crush on him, but there wasn’t really much to grab onto, you know? But this update? Oh my god, it’s like they gave him a whole new personality and I’m living for it. He’s such a dreamboat prince now, I just wanna smother him in kisses! Like, mwah, mwah, mwah—someone stops me before I turn into a full-on fangirl. Or Sol himself.
For real, I was laughing the whole time, twirling my hair like some cheesy romcom character. He’s got this whole new charm that’s completely irresistible, and I’m just here for all of it. His vibes are adorable, lowkey a lil freak. If you know, you know.
Like, how did they make him so adorable all of a sudden? He’s the good boy we never knew we needed; he’s out here winning hearts left and right.
Seriously, how can you not love him now?
#tkatb crowe#tkatb#the kid at the back crowe#the kid at the back vn#the kid at the back x reader#the kid at the back head canons#tkatb vn#tkatb head canons#crowe x reader#jericho crowe ichabod#crowe ichabod
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co-pilot mischief ✫ curly concerns ✫ chapter uno
captain curly x teasing!reader
curly panics when he realizes he's attracted to his co-pilot. a mixture of professionalism and fear of making you uncomfortable are keeping him from pursuing his feelings. so, when you find out that he has a thing for you, you tease him to see how long it'll take for him to give up.
directory/m.list next chapter ⇨
words: ~3.5k
t/w: sexual references but no actual yucky (yet), reader being lowkey sadistic, cute curly <3, gn!reader/pronouns but reader wears a bra
a/n: hi. been obsessed with this video game recently—well, especially with Curly (go figure. i like fictional men). i needed to make something self-indulgent bc i just like this man way too much. and because i just want to make a world where none of them have to suffer. enjoy~
~jambalaya does not exist in this world~
Planned Shipment Duration: 382 Days Elapsed Transit Time: 292 Days
It had been over nine months aboard this damned ship, and Curly was just short of going mad. Not the kind of madness that came with sleep deprivation—he’d conquered that particular beast long ago, his body numb to the restless nights. No, this madness was quieter, more insidious, burrowing into his mind and refusing to leave. It trailed him through the claustrophobic halls of the Tulpar, slipping into the smallest crevices of his day-to-day. The worst part was, he knew exactly what caused it.
Or rather, who.
His co-pilot. The bane of his existence. The source of his sanity slipping through his fingers like sand.
Curly groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands, his calloused palms dragging over stubble. The cockpit was bathed in the green glow of the ship’s display panels, casting long shadows over his hunched figure. For once, he was alone. His co-pilot was off—God knows where—and he was left to grapple with the gnawing frustration that never seemed to diminish. It wasn’t the kind of irritation that burned; it simmered, steady and unyielding, until it became part of the fabric of his thoughts, melting like wax into his very being.
He could see their handwriting on the little sticky notes scattered around the console, each one an infuriatingly sweet reminder to stretch, drink water, or take a break. He tried to ignore the way those notes made him feel a little lighter, even when he wanted to crumple them up out of spite. Then there were the meals—hot, fresh, and left beside him during the long hours he spent poring over ship diagnostics on days he’d forget to come to the main lobby for food. Like clockwork, they arrived, a silent reminder that someone out there cared. Too much, in fact.
It wasn’t the fact that they’d climbed the ranks with startling efficiency or that they were nipping at his heels for his own position. But the issue wasn’t their competence. Hell, he’d been the one to recommend them to the crew. No, the problem—the real problem—was that he didn’t mind the notes. Or the meals. Or the way their laugh lingered in his head long after the joke had ended.
That was the crux of it: he didn’t mind. He cared too much.
Curly growled under his breath and pushed himself out of his chair, dropping into a push-up position before the thought could take hold again. One. Two. Three. The strain burned through his biceps and shoulders, grounding him in something tangible. In the beginning, this ritual had worked. Twenty push-ups, and he’d feel clear-headed enough to get back to work. But now? He was well into quadrupling that number, and the haze in his mind hadn’t lifted.
“Damn it,” he muttered, shifting to one-armed push-ups. Sweat beaded on his brow, but his thoughts remained stubbornly fixed.
It was their fault. The way they lingered in his peripheral vision during late-night shifts, always a step ahead of him. The way their presence filled the cockpit, electric and steady, as if the entire ship ran on their quiet energy. He hated it. He needed it.
Curly collapsed onto the floor, the cool metal pressing against his flushed skin. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the dull ceiling, and exhaled sharply. But it wasn’t their fault. It was all his.
Because no matter how many push-ups he did or how hard he worked, he couldn’t seem to outrun the one truth he hated most: he was falling for his co-pilot, and there was no way to make it stop.
It all started so innocently.
A couple of months ago, when Curly’s sleep was deteriorating thanks to the unholy cocktail of chronic insomnia and the Pony Express directive of “only indulging in five hours of sleep a night,” the signs of wear were becoming impossible to hide. His dark circles deepened, hollowing out his features, and the number of minor piloting errors he made began creeping upward. He hated slipping up, especially in front of the crew. But you had been there, catching the mistakes before anyone else could notice, your tone warm and forgiving as you covered for him without a single reproach.
“How many hours of sleep did you get last night, Captain?” you asked, glancing at him with a knowing arch of your brow. The question was less accusatory and more concerned, which somehow made it worse.
The third time you caught him in the cockpit, chugging yet another cup of bitter instant coffee, you sighed with exasperation. He barely had time to process what you were doing before you nudged him toward the door with a bottle of melatonin clutched in your hand.
“Rest, Captain,” you said firmly, standing your ground in front of him with a tilt to your chin that tolerated no argument. “Don’t go abusing yourself—and caffeine—like that. Do me a favor and take one of these with some water. I’ve got the ship tied down.”
Before he could retort, you physically pushed him through the doorway and locked the cockpit door behind him. He stared at the bottle of melatonin in his hand, blinking in confusion, his mind too fogged with exhaustion to properly argue. He barely made it to his quarters without bumping into a wall. Still, he heeded your demand.
When he woke up hours later, groggy but undeniably more refreshed than he’d felt in weeks, he returned to the cockpit to find the door unlocked and you sitting in his chair, nursing a steaming cup of water between your hands.
The smile you gave him as he walked in—small, gentle—made something in his chest falter, like the ship had hit a pocket of turbulence. He ignored it, chalking the reaction up to gratitude. “Thanks,” he muttered before reclaiming his chair.
That should have been it. A one-off moment. But it wasn’t.
The next time was when you came bounding into the cockpit, an excited glint in your eyes, holding a bundle of old films scavenged from storage. “Look what I found!” you exclaimed, dropping them onto the console as if they were treasures unearthed from a sunken ship. The crew’s old stash of classic movies. You suggested a movie night, and by the weekend, everyone was gathered in the living area, dressed in mismatched pajamas as per your insistence.
The fake day-and-night screen in the living room had been converted into a movie screen (thanks to a favor from Swansea), and you’d somehow transformed the cramped space into a cozy theater. The crew was laughing, the air thick with the buttery aroma of popcorn—smuggled aboard in direct defiance of Pony Express regulations. Swansea lounged in a corner, throwing popcorn into his mouth with perfect aim, while Daisuke and Anya shared a bag of candy bars, their laughter ringing out during the film’s funniest moments.
And then there was you, looking at the rest of the crew, a relieved smile on your face from seeing them having fun and relaxing.
You’d curled up on the couch with bunny slippers, wearing an oversized t-shirt that reached down to your knees. Curly found himself staring at the way your legs curled up in front of you, the smooth skin catching the flickering light of the screen. He shook his head and willed himself to look back at the film, feeling an odd mix of discomfort and… something else.
It wasn’t just your legs that had caught his attention. He watched your shoulders relax as you looked at the others having a good time. From your shoulders, his eyes slowly trailed up to your neck,
There was the lace halter bralette peeking out from the neckline of your shirt, delicate and intricate, its strap circling your neck like a whisper of fabric. He’d overheard you mention it in passing to Anya once, saying how they were more comfortable than traditional bras. Cute, you’d said. Anya had agreed wholeheartedly, and the two of you had launched into an entire conversation about comfortable alternatives, leaving him both bewildered and hyper-aware of the intricacies of brassiers.
That night, you’d tied your hair up, sweeping it off your face and revealing the curve of your neck. He hated how his eyes kept trailing there, lingering too long on the strap of your bralette before snapping back to the screen.
What was wrong with him?
The laughter of the crew filled the room, but Curly’s focus was elsewhere. He watched the way your shoulders relaxed as you leaned back, your smile warm and unguarded as you looked at the others enjoying themselves. It had been a rough couple of weeks, but in that moment, you looked so at ease, like you were carrying everyone’s joy on your shoulders and doing it gladly.
His gaze drifted again, following the line of your neck up to your jaw and almost to your lips before he froze, his chest tightening with realization. He was staring. Stop it, you creep. His heart thudded in his chest, the weight of his guilt sinking in. The last thing he ever wanted was to make you uncomfortable, to let you see just how hopelessly he was starting to lose control of his own feelings.
And yet, even as he looked away, forcing his attention back to the film, the memory of your smile lingered in his mind, burning as brightly as a star in space.
Later that night, after the crew had dispersed to their quarters, Curly lingered in the living area. The faint smell of popcorn still hung in the air, and empty mugs cluttered the low table, remnants of the impromptu movie night.
He hadn’t planned to stay, but you were still there, stacking empty bowls with practiced efficiency. You hummed softly as you worked, the sound low and content.
“You don’t have to clean up,” he said, his voice startlingly loud in the quiet.
You glanced at him over your shoulder, an easy smile spreading across your face. “Neither do you, Captain. Yet here you are.”
Curly looked so charming, sweeping up the crumbs from the ground with a bashful smile. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Force of habit, I guess.”
He stepped forward and started gathering stray candy wrappers. You didn’t protest, and the two of you worked in companionable silence. The only sounds were the soft clink of mugs and the occasional hum from the ship’s systems.
“Thanks for tonight,” he said suddenly, his voice quieter. He kept his eyes on the mug in his hand, turning it absently. “I think… the crew needed it.”
You paused, a little surprised. “Needed what?”
“A break. A reminder that things aren’t always so…” He trailed off, searching for the word. “Mechanical.”
You laughed softly, and the sound was warm enough to make his chest ache. “Even machines need downtime, Captain. And so do you.”
He glanced at you, his resolve faltering as you met his gaze head-on. Your eyes were steady, soft, and full of something he couldn’t quite name. For a moment, the ship felt too small, the air too thin.
“I guess I’ll work on that,” he said, forcing a crooked smile and dropping his gaze.
As the months passed, his little problem only got worse.
It started as little things.
The way Curly’s voice would soften when he said your name, like he was tasting it before letting it leave his mouth. How he always seemed to position himself between you and anything remotely dangerous during routine checks, even if the “danger” was just a loose panel or a slightly sparking wire. You noticed those things before, but they hadn’t meant much to you at the time.
But lately, you’ve started picking up on more.
Like how he fidgets whenever you lean over his chair to point something out on the cockpit screen. Or how his ears turn red if your hand brushes his when passing tools or data tablets. At first, you think it’s funny—how someone so competent and in control can get so flustered over little things. But then, there’s the moment in the Main Lobby.
You’re digging through one of the upper cabinets, on the hunt for something sweet, when you hear his boots scuff against the floor behind you.
“You’re always after the chocolate in the vending machine,” he says, leaning casually against the counter like he isn’t watching you a little too closely.
“And you’re always after the coffee,” you quip, holding up a ration bar triumphantly.
“Touché.” His lips twitch into a smile, and you can’t help but notice how his eyes linger on you just a moment too long before he turns to grab his mug from the shelf.
It’s not unusual—this kind of back-and-forth—but as you open the bar and break off a piece, you catch him glancing at you again, almost like he’s about to say something. He doesn’t, though, and the moment stretches long enough to feel... significant.
That’s when it starts clicking.
The lingering looks. The slight hesitation in his voice when he talks to you. The way he goes out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable, even when he doesn’t have to. The realization settles in your chest, warm and a little thrilling.
Does Curly like me?
Your mind starts replaying recent moments with a new lens. The way he always pulls you aside first to explain changes to the schedule. How he always offers to carry extra supplies during inspections, even when you insist you’re fine. That time he casually gave you his jacket when the living quarters were colder than usual, like it was no big deal.
“Earth to you,” Curly says, snapping you out of your thoughts. He’s holding out a water pouch, his brow slightly furrowed. “You zoned out there for a second. You okay?”
You take the pouch and give him a smile. “Yeah. Just thinking.”
“About what?”
You tilt your head, studying him, and your smile widens when he shifts under your gaze. “Nothing important.”
It’s a lie, of course. You’re thinking about him—about how he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention, about how he tries so hard to act unaffected when you’re around.
And for the first time, you feel a little wicked. If Curly likes you, why not have a little fun with it?
Curly knew something was off the moment you walked into the cockpit.
It wasn’t just the way you greeted him, your voice light and playful as always. It was the way your smile lingered, like you were holding onto a secret you couldn’t wait to let out.
“You’re up early,” you said, dropping into your seat beside him.
“Could say the same for you,” Curly muttered, keeping his eyes on the console. He was grateful for the excuse to look busy, though the screen in front of him was just a diagnostic report he’d already read three times.
“You’re always so serious, Captain.” Your tone was teasing, but there was something else beneath it, something that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
He didn’t respond, didn’t trust himself to.
The silence stretched, and just when he thought you’d moved on, you leaned closer—close enough for him to catch the faint scent of whatever soap you used.
“Hey, Curly?”
His stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
You paused, drawing it out, like you were savoring his anticipation. Then, with a sly grin, you said, “You’re staring.”
“I’m not—” He froze, his heart skipping a beat. “What?”
“You are,” you insisted, your grin widening. “You’ve been staring at that same report for the last ten minutes. What’s so interesting about it?”
Curly’s mouth went dry. He scrambled for an answer, but his mind betrayed him, replaying every fleeting glance he’d stolen of you earlier that morning. How long had you noticed?
When he didn’t respond, you leaned back in your chair, smug satisfaction written all over your face. “Relax, Captain. I’m just messing with you.”
But you weren’t. Not entirely.
Because as you watched the tips of his ears turn pink and saw how his jaw tightened, you realized something. Something that made your pulse quicken and your lips curl into a wicked smile.
He likes me.
And now that you knew, you couldn’t help yourself.
Curly swore the ship’s cockpit had never felt this small before.
You were now hovering just over his shoulder, leaning in to inspect a blinking diagnostic alert on the screen. The proximity was maddening—he could feel the warmth radiating off you, the sleeve of your Pony Express jumpsuit brushing against his arm every time you moved.
“Hmm,” you mused, tilting your head. “Looks like a minor power fluctuation. Nothing to worry about, but we should log it for the next maintenance check.”
He nodded stiffly, trying to focus on your words instead of the fact that your hair was so close it tickled his cheek. “Right. I’ll, uh, take care of it.”
But when he reached for the keyboard, so did you. Your fingers grazed his, and you both froze.
“Sorry,” you said, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. A playful smile tugged at your lips, and he didn’t trust it for a second. “Didn’t mean to get in your way, Captain.”
“It’s fine,” he muttered, turning back to the screen. But his fingers trembled slightly as he typed, and he cursed himself for it.
“You know,” you said, leaning against the edge of the console, your voice deceptively casual. “You look good when you’re focused like that.”
He nearly choked. “What?”
“I said you look good when you’re focused.” You shrugged, like it was the most normal, casual thing in the world. “It’s kind of intimidating, actually. In a good way.”
His face burned, and he fought the urge to bury it in his hands. “I—uh—thanks, I guess...”
The smile you gave him was nothing short of devilish. “You’re welcome.”
You stayed there, watching him a little too closely, and he could feel his pulse thudding in his ears. Finally, he risked a glance at you, only to find you tilting your head with mock innocence.
“Everything okay, Captain?”
“Yeah,” he said quickly, focusing hard on the screen. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Oh, no reason.” Your voice was light, teasing. “You just seem a little... tense.”
He stiffened, embarrassed and confused as to what you were doing but powerless to stop it.
“You know,” you continued, leaning a little closer again, “you really should loosen up. It’s not good for your health to be so serious all the time.”
“I’m not—” He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”
“Hmm.” You studied him for a moment, and then, with a mischievous glint in your eyes, you added, “If you ever need help relaxing, Captain, just let me know.”
He froze, his brain short-circuiting at the double meaning behind your words.
Before he could stammer out a response, you straightened up, patting him lightly on the shoulder. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it. Don’t work too hard, okay?”
And just like that, you were gone, leaving him alone in the cockpit, his heart racing and his mind a chaotic mess.
He groaned, burying his face in his hands. He was doomed. Absolutely doomed.
From the moment you saw Curly’s ears turn red, his fate was sealed. You’d never imagined the stoic, dependable captain could be reduced to such an adorable mess, and now that you’d seen it, there was no going back. It was just too cute—the way his bravado would falter, his words stumbling over themselves as he tried and failed to maintain composure.
Normally, Curly was all broad shoulders and easy charm, his commanding presence impossible to ignore. But you’d discovered a crack in that armor, a secret button that turned him from the ever-confident leader into a flustered, helpless schoolboy. And oh, what a delightful button it was to press.
You’d always found him attractive—how could you not? He was responsible, dependable, and unfairly handsome. But for the longest time, you assumed he’d only ever see you as his co-pilot, someone to rely on professionally but never personally. Yet now, the way his gaze lingered a moment too long, the subtle flush on his cheeks whenever you got a little too close, told you a very different story.
It gave you a strange, heady sense of power, and you had absolutely no intention of letting it go to waste.
A small, wicked thrill ran through you whenever you imagined the possibilities. What if you teased him just enough to make that carefully controlled exterior crumble? What if you pushed him to the edge, until he couldn’t hold it in any longer? Your mind wandered to a particularly wonderful thought: Curly, unable to take it anymore, bending you over the console with a heated, desperate confession.
You shivered, the fantasy almost too delicious to bear.
And so, your mission began—not to reject him, but to push him. To tease and torment, to watch his resolve unravel thread by thread. You weren’t cruel, not really. You knew he’d crack eventually, and you planned to reward him handsomely when he did. But until then?
Until then, you’d savor every stolen glance, every stammered reply, every moment he tries and fails to hold himself together.
After all, what was a little mischief between co-pilots?
a/n: let me know what y'all think! biggest thank yous to those who have written curly x reader fics thus far, y'all fueled me lmfao.
oh yeah.. smut.. eventually...
taglist is open! lmk if you want to be on the taglist for just curly/mouthwashing characters or if you want the news on alll my fics... also might be accepting requests hehe! i can't guarantee that i can do em, but i'll accept ideas!
thanks for reading! <3
btw. not beta read, please let me know if there are any typos or inconsistencies stay safe & hydrated as always!
(and go to sleep if you're reading this super late. don't be a curly. take care of yourself! (i say, writing this at midnight))
crossposted on ao3
directory/m.list next chapter ⇨
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing smut#mouthwashing game#Captain curly#curly x reader#curly mouthwashing#curly x reader smut#captain curly smut#curly fluff#mouthwashing fluff#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#grant curly#curly smut
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A few years ago, there was a thread on r/asksciencefiction where someone was fishing for a superhero story with an inverted Omni-Man dynamic, or a setting where Homelander's initial presentation is played straight- a setting where the Superman figure actually is the paragon of morality he's initially presented as, but no other superhero is- a situation where you've got one really competent true-blue hero standing head-and-shoulders in power above what's otherwise a complete nest of vipers.
Someone in the thread floated My Hero Academia; while I haven't read it, my understanding is that that's not really an accurate read of what's going on with Stain's neurosis about All-Might being the only "real hero," that the point of that arc is that Stain's got an insane and unreasonable standard and that taking an endorsement deal, while bad, isn't actually grounds for execution. My own contribution to the thread was Gail Simone's Welcome to Tranquility, where a major part of the backstory involved the faux Justice-League's Superman analogue having a little accident because he's the only one who thought they were morally obligated to go public with the secret life-extending macguffin that the rest of the team is using to enforce comic-book time on themselves and their loved ones; while only a couple members of the team are directly in on it, the rest are conveniently incurious. And Jupiter's Legacy gets tantalizingly close to this- The Utopian, a well-meaning stick-in-the-mud, ultimately gets blindsided and couped by his scheming brother who creates a superhero junta staffed by a Kingdom-Come-style glut of third-gen superheroes, who are framed as fundamentally self-interested because only came onto the scene after most of the situations you legitimately need a superhero to handle have been neutralized. (The rub, of course, is that the comic is also highly critical of the Utopian's intellectually incurious self-righteously 'apolitical' approach to superheroism- if for no other reason than that it left him in a position to get blindsided by a coup!) While Jupiter's Legacy gets the closest, all three of these are only loosely orbiting around the spirit of the original idea, and there's something really interesting there- particularly if the Superman figure isn't hopelessly naive in the same way as Utopian. Because first of all, if you're Metaman or Amazingman or whatever brand-name alias the writer goes with, and you really earnestly mean it, and you put together a team of all the other most powerful heroes on earth in order to pool your resources, and then with dawning horror you gradually begin to realize that everyone in the room besides yourself is a fascist or a con artist or abuser or any other variant of a kid with a magnifying glass eyeing that anthill called Earth- What the hell is your next move?
Do you just call the whole thing off? Can you trust that they'll actually go home if you call the whole thing off? I mean you've put the idea in their heads, are you sure that they aren't going to, like, start the Crime Syndicate in your absence? Do you stick around to try and enact containment, see if getting all of these people on a team makes them easier to keep on a leash? But that's functionally going to make you their enabler pretty quickly, right? Overlooking "should you kill them-" can you kill them? You're stronger than any individual one of them- are you stronger than all of them? The first time one of them really crosses a line in a way you can't ignore- will that be a one-on-one fight? Are they the kind of people capable of putting two-and-two together and pre-emptively ganging up on you if you push back too hard? Do you just start trying to get them killed, or keep them at each other's throats so they can't coordinate anything really nasty? Can you squeeze any positive moral utility out of them, or is that just a way to justify not doing the hard work of taking them down? There've been works where the conceit is to question the default assumption that Superman in specific would be a good person, and there've been works where the conceit is to question the default assumption that superheroes in general would be good people. Something to be done, I think, with questioning the default assumption that everyone Superman becomes professionally close to would be good, and to explore how he'd handle it if they weren't.
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unsolved (xiii)
Summary: Bucky doesn’t even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet’s amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)
Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, forests, sabotaging
A/N: lmao so initially this was actually supposed to be released on Halloween last year bc it was the 13th chapter. but of course, The Horrors. so have a Halloween themed chapter in the middle of fucking April. good day to you all.
Previous part || Series masterlist

Bucky doesn’t do Halloween.
To be fair, Bucky doesn’t do most organised festive celebrations.
But Halloween specifically, is not for him.
He barely has energy to exist in real life, and now he has to do it with a costume? Like a little circus clown boy begging for claps?
No.
So even though the team has mostly done the most with what they can, and dressed up to celebrate the spirits of the holiday, he has chosen to stick to his usual.
He begins to feel the guilt twirling around his stomach when he finally makes his way to the event ground.
The whole Halloween fair felt like fall in a bottle. Rows of vendor stalls lined the main walkway, overpriced cider and hot chocolate competing for everyone’s attention. The air was thick with the scent of kettle corn, fried dough, and bonfire smoke, and at the very center of the fairground, a massive pumpkin display loomed. IT was carefully arranged, family-friendly, and absolutely begging to be destroyed.
There were costumes everywhere. Kids sprinting between hay bales in bandages and plastic fangs, groups of teenagers posing for selfies in group outfits, couples holding hands.
It was nice. It might even begin to thaw his cold, solid heart.
The groans and bullying that follows when he pulls up half an hour late is warranted but he holds his ground.
Hands balled into fists, chest pushed out and sturdy, he takes his usual place next to you, bracing for impact.
“You’re a bore,” you say without skipping a beat. “You’re like fun-antidote. Where is your costume?”
“I’m wearing a costume,” he says simply. “I’m A Guy.”
“Your costume cannot be guy. I knew this shit would happen. I had a costume delivered to you one month ago, where is it?”
“If you think I’m dressing like that Dr Seuss piece of shit, you’re deranged.” Bucky casts a look at you.
He opened the package, saw the red stripes and closed it right back up.
“There’s no way you showed up with nothing,” Nat scoffs.
“Clint wore a full Pikachu onesie,” Wanda offers, joining the group with a powdered sugar moustache.
“That’s because Clint has no shame.”
“I heard that,” Clint calls from somewhere. God knows where.
“You were supposed to,” Bucky fires back.
Nat raises an eyebrow. “C’mon Buck. Not even a little face paint?”
“Do I look like a man who owns face paint,” he says dryly, glaring when he suddenly notices a little detail. “Why’s everyone looking at me? This one’s not wearing a costume either.”
He juts a thumb towards you. You narrow your eyes.
“I’m literally wearing one right now,” you say, gesturing to yourself.
“You’re wearing a black t-shirt and combat boots,” he argues. “That’s clothes. It’s not a costume.”
“It’s a good costume,” Sam pipes up. “I get it.”
You beam at him. “Thanks.”
Bucky glances at you, then at Sam, then back at you again.
Nat, leaning back against the table, exhales a short laugh. “Really nailed the details.”
“Right?” You glance down at your fit.
She nods. “Very accurate.”
Bucky stares for a few more seconds, coming up short.
Finally, he grumbles, “Whatever. Where’s the video shoot?”
“You guys are shooting a video here?” Wanda asks, tearing off a piece of funnel cake and popping it into her mouth.
“Yeah, I thought it’d be fun to go through the corn maze. Local legends say it’s haunted by the spirit of teenagers who got lost in there years ago and never returned.” You shrug. “I’m gonna attach a GoPro onto Bucky’s head and set him free in there.”
“You make me sound like a rat.”
“You’re the handsomest rat I’ve ever seen, baby. If I were a piece of cheese, would you want me?”
“Stop.”
“You’re really just gonna go in there together, huh?” Sam pipes up casually.
Bucky looks at him weirdly, but Sam has the deeply self-satisfied smirk of a man about to be a menace.
You don’t even hesitate. “Yeah?”
“Uh-huh. Corn mazes have a history, you know? Just saying. ”
“A history,” you repeat.
Nat, ever helpful, leans forward, resting her chin in her hand. “Classic teenage makeout spot.”
Bucky’s eye twitches.
“I wouldn’t know, I spent my teenage years blowing up buildings,” you reply.
Wanda hums. “That’s what they all say.”
“Literally who says this.”
“You’re not missing out. It’s cold and itchy and the whole place smells like hay,” Steve chimes in, doing his best to aid the situation.
Sam nods solemnly. “Yeah, but next thing you know, you’re lost with no cell service, standing real close, saying shit like ‘oh no, my flashlight batteries died, guess we have to huddle for warmth–””
Bucky groans. “It’s a fucking corn maze, not the catacombs. There’s no getting lost and huddling for warmth.”
Clint, appearing just in time to make this worse, tilts his head innocently. “Oh, you guys doing the Lover’s Lane?”
Bucky gestures aggressively at the fair map. “It says Field of Screams.”
“Sure can be a field of screams if this night goes well,” you add unhelpfully.
Bucky turns to Steve, clearly expecting him to be the voice of reason.
Steve, unfortunately, is already hiding a smile behind his drink.
Bucky’s jaw clenches.
“Assholes,” he mutters.
Sam claps him on the shoulder. “Have fun in the murder corn.”

Somewhere in the distance, the haunted house’s chainsaw gag goes off, followed by delighted screaming.
Bucky adjusts the camera strapped to his head like a miner’s torch. “I thought you were going as the tennis ball from that threesome movie.”
“Costume didn’t deliver in time. So I found something better.”
“What are you supposed to be?”
You ignore him, but there’s an amused expression on your face. “I know you think that because you’ve gotten to this point, you’ve gotten away with not having a costume. Unfortunately for you, I have come prepared.”
Before he can react, you shove a piece of fabric into his hands.
He holds it up, balled into his fist. “Is this–”
“The cape from the laughing gas group, yes.” You nod.
“I thought I got rid of this thing, where the hell did you get it from?” He lets it unravel in all its unironed, crinkly wonder.
“I would never let you get rid of a piece of art like this. Now look, you’ve got a solid costume.”
“I don’t need a costume.”
“Well, now you have one. Put it on.”
“No.”
“Put it on.”
“No.”
Five minutes later, he has a shitty full-length cape on as you stand at the entrance to a haunted corn maze.
The wind picks up just enough to make his cape move ominously. He elects to ignore it.
You adjust the camera on your head, tilting it toward him.
“Well, well, well,” you narrate,. “If it isn’t the dark lord himself.”
“I hope the ghosts take you first.”
“That’s what I love about you, Buck. Always looking out for me.”
Bucky shakes his head, pulling the cape tighter around his shoulders when the wind threatens to blow it away.
The archway is wrapped in dim string lights, flickering unsteadily.
Beyond it, the corn stands tall and unmoving, the entrance swallowing the path ahead in a thick, oppressive darkness.
“Alright, you ready?” you turn to him.
He sighs. “Always.”
________
The night is alive.
The festival’s noise carries even through the thick walls of corn, muffled laughter and distant screams bleeding through the cracks, the occasional blast of music from a game booth still loud enough to reach you guys.
Teenagers run ahead, scaring their friends before the actors even get the chance.
Bucky walks beside you, hands tucked into the pocket of his cargo pants.
A breeze kicks up, rustling through the maze.
From somewhere to your right, a group of college kids run screaming out of one of the side paths, shoving each other as they trip over their own feet.
Bucky watches them, expression completely unimpressed. “They paid twenty bucks to get chased through corn by a guy in a mask.”
“We also have done that,” you remind him.
You walk for a while in no particular direction, just following the winding, trampled-down paths. Nothing creepy has happened yet.
“I had a place like this growing up,” Bucky mutters, stepping over a stray piece of corn husk.
You glance at him. “A haunted maze?”
“A fair. Smaller than this, but same kind of deal. Seasonal. My parents used to take us before it got too cold.”
You hum. “What’d they have?”
“The usual,” Bucky says. “Rides, caramel apples, bad magic acts. There was a fortune teller I was scared of when I was a kid.”
“You were scared of a fortune teller?”
“She was fuckin’ aggressive for a woman whose entire job was pretending to read palms. I didn’t even want to do it. My parents paid ‘cause Becca begged, and then she got too scared to go near her. I got thrown in so it didn’t up being a waste of a few bucks.”
“Becca betrayed you.”
“Sold me out immediately.”
You laugh. There’s a faint smile on his face as he walks through the godforsaken corn.
“I had a fair once,” you say. “It wasn’t real. But they called it a festival.”
Bucky doesn’t say anything.
“There was a little town outside the facility,” you say, stepping over a raised tree root. “Once a year, they’d set up these tests. The whole thing was so weird. Gave us candy. Let us play games. Just to see if we could blend in.”
“HYDRA did something similar.”
You snort. “You guys ever do the winter carnival, or was that unique to usl?”
Bucky groans. “Always fucking Winter Wonderland or Halloweentown.”
You laugh, kicking at a loose pile of hay. “I used to steal candy.”
Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Without getting caught?”
“They probably knew,” you admit. “But they never stopped me. Maybe that was the test.”
Bucky hums, before saying gruffly. “Maybe it was just a win.”
You hold his gaze for a second. The careless upturn of his lip is enough to make you forget what nonsense you were about to say.
You wonder how much footage you’d have to edit out if it was just staring at his dumb, pretty face in silence.
A breeze shuffles the corn.
The distant scream of another maze runner echoes through the night.
It’s enough to snap you out of whatever the hell this is.
The festival noise is still going strong, bleeding into the maze, distant music mixing with the hum of people.
You reach a split in the path. A fork in the maze, with two equally stupid-looking trails leading deeper into the field.
Bucky stops, tilting his head slightly, scanning both directions.
You, on the other hand, just pick a side based on what the vibes emanating from them were.
“This way,” you say, already stepping toward the left.
Bucky does not move. “That’s the wrong way.”
“Excuse me?”
Bucky gestures down the right path. “That’s the way out.”
You fold your arms. “How do you know?”
“Because I do.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer you’re getting.”
You tilt your head. “Did you fucking map out the way to the exit?”
“No,” Bucky lies.
“That defeats the whole point of a maze.”
“It’s called situational awareness.”
“It’s called being a control freak,” you correct.
Bucky exhales sharply.
You gesture down the path you picked. “So what happens if I go this way?”
“You get lost.”
“Or.”
“No.”
“Or–”
“I’m not going the wrong way.”
“Fine. It appears that we have reached an impasse.” You pause, considering for a second. “I fear that our journey together ends here. Catch you on the flipside, partner.”
Bucky watches as you take a slow, exaggerated step backward down the left path.
“Are you seriously splitting us up?” he asks dryly.
“It is not I who refuses to tread the path of integrity.”
Bucky glares.
You take another step, arms crossed over your chest, combat boots pressed into the dirt.
He’s about to give in and follow your stupidass plan, when it suddenly clicks for him. Honestly, once he gets it, he’s embarrassed at how long it took.
“Is your fuckin’ costume s’pposed to be me?” Bucky’s jaw drops open slightly.
A grin breaks across your face and it’s enough of an answer for him.
“You’re fucking ridiculous.” He takes a long, hard look at your ridiculous outfit. “What is wrong with you?”
“I think I did great,” you say, pulling at the hem of your black t-shirt. “I even made sure the shade was right.”
“You think you’re hilarious.”
“I do, yeah. Now let’s get a move on.” You clap your hands. “This maze ain’t gonna solve itself.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you dressed like that.”
“Afraid people are gonna think we’re the same person?”
Bucky crosses his arms over his chest. You do the same.
“Stop.”
“I’m just existing, man.”
“You’re making fun of me.”
“Now who said that?” You narrow your eyes. “I’m dressed like the hottest person I know besides myself, you should take it as a compliment”
Bucky mumbles something under his breath, taking a step towards the path on the right.
“I see you’ve made your choice. The wrong one, but I respect it.” You salute. “See you on the other side, Barnes.”
And just like that, you disappear down the path.
Bucky stands there for a few seconds in silence.
Then, grudgingly, he starts walking again, taking his route. The correct route.


The festival noise is still there, still steady.
Bucky isn’t worried.
Because, first of all, it’s a corn maze.
Second of all, he’s already sure he knows the way out.
The first few minutes alone, he doesn’t think about it much.
He walks, eyes scanning the paths, the layout, the movement of people up ahead.
Unfortunately with the way his brain is hardwired, It doesn’t take him long to see the pattern.
The jump scares are timed.
The actors cycle between three or four spots.
The lighting is only dim enough to be “spooky,” but there are clear emergency lanterns posted at every exit route.
All things considered, it’s shockingly easy to navigate, so he wonders what’s so haunted about it in the first place.
By the time he reaches the third scare actor, he’s already figured out that they’re all positioned in the exact same intervals.
A few minutes later, the familiar mechanical rev of a chainsaw sounds through the corn again.
Bucky sighs, already exhausted.
The actor jumps out from the corn, mask on, chainsaw lifted dramatically.
Bucky stares.
The actor stares back.
There’s a long, painful pause.
Bucky slips past him and keeps walking.
_______
“How much fuckin’ corn is there?” he mumbles by the time he hits the next split in the path.
He hasn’t heard from you in a while, which doesn’t make sese because he should have run into you at some point. He would never admit it out loud but he would rather your incessant chattering than silence.
Seemingly ten minutes into his neverending trek, he pulls out his phone to track his way back to Steve using the damn Find My Phone bullshit
No signal.
He exhales sharply. Taps the screen a few more times, holds it above his head and even rotates it a few times.
Still nothing.
It’s annoying, sure. But beyond that, something about it feels vaguely unsettling.
The maze wasn’t that far away from the fair.
It wasn’t like he’d wandered into the woods.
He should have cell service.
He grumbles, putting his phone back into his pocket, continuing on.
_________
The paths aren’t endless.
The entire attraction is contained within the fairgrounds, wedged between the parking lot and the hayride station, which means if he just keeps moving in a straight line, he should hit the outer edge eventually.
Or at the very least, run into a staff member making sure no dumbass teenagers try to cut through the corn and ruin the layout.
And yet he’s been walking for a while now.
No exits are showing up.
Which is annoying. Because he’s usually good at this kind of thing.
If he can navigate a city he barely recognizes, evade people trying to kill him, track movement through urban terrain with nothing but a loose trail, then he should be able to walk out of a goddamn festival attraction.
But the paths just keep twisting, folding back into each other.
The maze stretches longer than it should.
EVen though he’d figured it out, Bucky doesn’t immediately notice it.
He’s too focused on just moving forward. Getting to the end.
But after another few turns, another five minutes of silence, it finally registers.
There hasn’t been a single scare in a while.
The last was what, ten minutes ago?
Before that, they had been stationed at every few turns, jumping out at whatever happened to wander through.
Bucky stops.
The corn doesn’t rustle the way it usually does.
It stands tall and eerily frozen.
Bucky tilts his head slightly and listens.
But the fairground is further away than it should be.
There’s still wind.
It's still chilly.
Like it’s been pushed back a little further with every turn he’s taken.
Which doesn’t make sense.
Bucky exhales, shaking it off, shaking it loose, refusing to acknowledge the stupid, creeping frustration in his chest.
This is fine.
He keeps moving because at some point, it has to end.
The sky is still clear.
The night is dark.
He rounds the next turn--
Agonizing minutes later, Bucky knows he should have found an exit by now.
Even if he somehow took the longest possible route, even if he completely lost track of where he was going, he should have hit the fairground again by sheer accident.
And finally, he sees something different.
A scarecrow.
Lying in the middle of the path.
It's an old, rotting, weatherworn thing that doesn’t belong in a festival attraction.
The wood is splintering at the edges. The burlap sack tied around its head is molded and sun-bleached. The hat it’s wearing is barely holding together.
And its arms, long and stiff and thin, aren’t stretched out the way scarecrows usually are, instead pressed tight against its sides.
Bucky stares at it.
A long, slow moment passes.
“What the fuck’s your deal?” he asks.
It does not answer. Obviously.
He stares for a few more seconds, raising his leg to step beside it and move on–
Something touches him.
His entire body locks up for half a second, reflex screaming at him to step back, to turn, to fight.
It’s barely anything.
A whisper of sensation, a brief, feather-light press against the metal of his wrist.
Not a grab. Not a push. Just contact.
And then there’s a giggle.
Soft, small sound that feels like it’s been yanked straight out of another life.
It takes a secodn to register that his pulse is hammering now.
Because it’s been months of this. Of coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t just imagining it.
Not from cold, clamping fear.
Something else.
The giggle sounds again, a few feet away this time.
She’d been following him. Watching him. Waiting for a chance to get him alone and-- God, what?
What was she going to do?
His head snaps towards the sound, trying to zero in on it outside of the rustling of stems.
When it floats by again, it’s further away.
His feet move before his mind registers it.
Soft peals of laughter, the same when he’d let her draw all over his sketchbooks, when he’d douse her in water from the hose, when his dad would throw her under his arm and carry her around.
It doesn’t matter.
He rounds the corner fast, boots skidding slightly on the packed dirt.
The air is colder now than ten minutes ago, stinging his skin. Or maybe that’s just in his head.
The laughter leads him around another corner, and the weight in his chest grows more desparate.
Because if she’s there, he can tell her everything he’s been thinking of for months now.
That he’s sorry, that he’d do whatever it takes to get her to rest–
He opens his mouth to call out her name–
He bounds down the path, heart hammering and eyes wide.
His feet skid to a halt, boots grinding into the ground when he almost collides straight into something.
Someone.
But no.
Face tucked behind a Jason Vorhees mask, fake machete resting on a shoulder.
Not her.
“Woah,” it says, “the hell are you running from?”
Bucky stops immediately, breathless.
It doesn’t take even a second to register the voice.
In the same short second, it is gone.
The giggle. The touch on the inside of his wrist.
It’s all gone.
And in its place, it’s you.
You’re standing like you’ve been waiting for him, mask lopsided, fake machete swinging lazily in one hand, like you just wandered in from a completely different reality.
Fuck. He’d been sure. So sure.
But then it’s you, pulling the mask up till it rides up your forehead.
“Look who finally showed up,” you say brightly, grinning like you haven’t been wandering the maze in abandoned slasher cosplay for god knows how long.
“I’ve been trying to find an exit for, like, half an hour. Got so bored I was about to float up and look for you from the sky.”
He doesn’t say anything, heart in his mouth.
He doesn’t smile.
He probably doesn’t even blink, head turning as he scans the area for any sign.
You cock your head at him. “...You good?”
“Yeah,” he says too fast. “Fine.”
She wasn’t here.
You give him a look. One you’ve used before.
He forces his hands to stay loose at his sides. Tries not to look like he’s still coming down from something. Tries not to think about the soft giggle he’d heard minutes ago, or how badly he’d wanted to find the source.
“You been in here the whole time?” he asks finally.
You nod. “Yeah. I got bored. The actors vanished a while ago. I found the mask and figured, why not.” You hold up the machete. “Also this. Very high-quality prop. Very stabby.”
He raises an eyebrow. Barely.
“I was gonna jump-scare someone, but no one’s been around.” You pause. “Except you, apparently.”
He's not entirely sure he's in the same plane of existence as you.
His gaze flicks over you again, with your mask, weapon, loose smile. Still completely unaware that he just nearly walked out of the last twenty years chasing a memory, only to find you instead.
He swallows. Pushes the feeling back down.
“Thought you said you were gonna levitate out.”
“I was!” You grin. “But then you showed up. How was your night?
He doesn’t answer right away.
Finally he just exhales for the first time in what seems like years.
“It was fine.”
But the longer you look at him, the less sure you seem.
You study his face, squinting. “You look like you saw something.”
“Didn’t.”
You chew on that for a second, eyes still on him, before saying, “You’ve been weird, you know.”
Bucky tilts his head slightly.
“Like, not just tonight. After some of these shoots. Not all of them. Just… some.”
Bucky says nothing. He knew it wouldn't be too long before you brought this up.
You go on anyway. “At first I thought it was just your usual ‘why am I involved in this bullshit’ thing, but it’s not that. Not every time. Some of these places are different. You come back quiet.”
You shift the machete from one hand to the other. It feels stupid, suddenly.
“I haven’t said anything,” you add. “Because I figured if you didn’t want to be here, you’d say something. But you haven’t and if this kind of stuff screws with your head in some way, we can pick other places. Or we can stop the show altogether. We don’t have to keep doing this if it’s messing with you.”
You look back at him now. Direct. Steady.
Bucky doesn’t flinch.
It would be easy to lie. Easier than explaining.
So he clears his throat, looks down the path where the maze bends gently left. “Good to know.”
Something soft on his cheek tugs his face back.
He looks back at you, a small crease between his eyebrows.
You hold his face in place softly, but the look on your face is firm. "We don't have to continue the show. I'm being serious. It's not worth it if you--"
Bucky watches you trail off, but your hands don't let go of his face.
"I know," he says, voice a bit quieter, more tired.
Your gaze is intense, but he holds it. His throat constricts a bit when he swallows.
“Well. I was headed for apple dunking before this turned into a weird spiral. You coming?”
He knows you notice it.
Still, you don’t press. Just give him a small smile, search his face one last time before letting go.
“Yeah,” he says, letting out a deep exhale when you turn away from him.
“Good. I need a witness when I inevitably fight a twelve-year-old over a Fuji.”
“I will not take your side,” he manages to get out, following behind closely.
“Yeah, yeah,” you say, casting a look over your shoulder. “But you’ll reap the rewards when I win.”
Bucky opens his mouth to say something in return, but shuts up when you slip your hand into his, interlacing your fingers and giving it a short squeeze.
His heart, poor fucking thing, probably won’t be able to handle another episode of racing tonight.
“Come on,” you say, swinging it back and forth. “You can buy me some cider.”
Bucky says something snappy, sighs a little and tightens his grip on your hand.

It takes a while before you finally see the fair.
You push a few stalks aside and sigh like you’ve just crossed a battlefield.
The fairground lights bleed brighter through the corn, the ambient noise getting louder with each step.
Bucky's kept his grip on your hand, but slipped it into the pocket of his jacket because the night only gets colder.
“I can’t believe I almost had to fly over this stupid maze just to find you,” you say. “What would you have done if I hadn’t shown up?”
He shrugs. “Would’ve found a way out.”
“Oh?” you say, eyebrows lifting. “With what? Your ancient Boy Scout compass? Prayer? I was prepared to carry you out, you know.”
He snorts.
“Little rescue mission. One arm around your waist.”
He stops walking. “No.”
You blink innocently. “No?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not? I can fly. Kind of.”
“I would rather die in the corn than be carried out like a wet cat.”
“You’re being ridiculous. Hasn’t Steve ever gotten a ride from Tony? I don’t hear him complaining about sitting on his teammate’s back.”
“Like he’s on a fucking horse?” Bucky says, scandalized. “No?”
“You’re emotionally allergic to help.”
“I don’t need help.”
“I know,” you say, turning to grin at him again. “But I’m gonna offer it anyway. Just to annoy you.”
The stupid Jason mask is still swinging at your collar, machete tucked like a trophy at your hip. Bucky rolls his eyes but can't help a smile from slipping out.
“Anyway,” you say casually, “I’m just saying, if I hadn’t found you, you’d still be in there. They’d name the field after you eventually.”
He doesn’t respond to that, but you catch him shaking his head.
You swing the machete against your leg like a toy. “Would the team have come looking for you if I hadn’t?”
Bucky glances at you. “Eventually.”
“Eventually,” you repeat. “Cool. So like… couple of days?”
He shrugs. “Give or take.”
You nod sagely. “Okay. So if it takes you a few days to get rescued, I’m looking at what, two weeks? After someone trips over my skeleton by accident?”
He doesn’t look at you when he says, “That’s not how it works with us.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Us?”
He gestures vaguely. “The team.”
You scoff. “I literally had an entire PR team trying to erase me from the internet not too long ago.”
Bucky studies you with a sharp look for a few moments. You keep swinging the machete back and forth, one arm locked in place inside his jacket pocket.
“Do you think it was a coincidence,” he says finally, “that the week your article dropped, everyone just happened to go batshit insane?”
You blink at him. “What.”
“C’mon,” he says. “Steve makes a huge donation. Nat starts a fight on live TV. Clint breaks into a goddamn bank vault. Your story got the least coverage out of all of them.”
You frown slightly. “I thought that was just Avengers being Avengers.”
Bucky shrugs. “Nobody told anyone to do anything. They just did it loudly so you’d know whose side they were on.”
You fall silent for a moment. “Huh.”
He doesn’t push.
You don’t ask again, but you shuffle closer. He tries his level best to stay cool, and mostly succeeds.
The second you step out of the cornfield, it's like walking into a trap.
Scattered around the festival’s edge, half-lurking by the caramel apple stand and the booth selling “Blood Smoothies”, are most of the team, waiting.
Nat is nursing a cup of hot chocolate like it's vodka and watching everything with the faint smirk of someone who knew how this would end before it started.
Sam spots you first. His grin spreads instantly.
“Generally when people disappear for a while, they show up with less clothes than before,” he calls.
You glance at your mask and machete and Bucky tugs off the stupid cape.
“Just in time for the main event. I was about to start placing bets.”
“On what,” Bucky mutters, already tired of this conversation.
“Whether we were getting a call from you,” Sam replies, “or the morgue.”
You shrug. “Por qué no los dos?”
Wanda drifts in with a caramel apple in one hand and a too-knowing smile at your hand in his.
Bucky’s expression shutters instantly, mouthing. “Don’t.”
She shakes her head lightly, not saying anything.
You’re still smiling, focused on the conversation at hand, “He got lost. I heroically rescued him. It was a very emotional journey.”
“I wasn’t lost.”
Steve finally wanders over, coffee in hand, squinting at Bucky like he's trying to decipher something.
“You good?” he asks, handing him a slice of pumpkin pie.
Bucky nods. “Fine.”
Steve looks between the two of you. Then at the mask. Then at the machete. “You two gonna go find other hauntings or are y’all done for the evening?”
“I’m going apple dunking,” you say brightly. “I’m about to ruin some middle schoolers.”
“Emotionally or physically?” Clint asks.
“Whichever’s funnier.” You shrug, nudging Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m gonna destroy some third grader and dedicate the win to you.”
"I don't know you."
You give him a bright grin, and wiggle your hand out of his to follow behind Clint.
Bucky doesn't like the sudden lack of warmth, but he finds respite in pie Steve has handed to him.
Bucky’s always liked the noise of fairs.
Not because he actually enjoys them and the overstimulation it brings, but because he can disappear into the background. Everyone's loud. Everyone's distracted. No one looks at the guy who stands still.
So that’s what he does now.
Leans against a picnic table, a second slice of pie in his hands that he hasn’t even looked at, while Steve stands beside him with a cup of something steaming and unremarkable.
It’s easy, the quiet between them. Familiar.
Which is probably why Bucky says it out loud before he thinks about it too hard.
“Do you remember PBJ?”
Steve squints. “The sandwich?”
Bucky exhales through his nose. “No. The nickname.”
Steve takes a slow sip, then looks at him again.
“Oh,” he says, softer now. “Right. What I called you and Becca."
"D'you remember why?" Bucky doesn't meet his eye.
"Wasn't it 'cause she couldn’t spell your name properly when she was little? Wrote ‘Jam’ everywhere. Used to drive you insane.”
“She got very smug about it,” Bucky mutters.
Steve laughs. “Only ‘cause you kept calling her ‘Peanut’.”
Bucky nods, tight smile on his lips.
“I’d forgotten about that,” Steve says. “God, Peanut Becca and Jam. You were so serious about it, too."
Bucky notes quietly, “She wrote ‘PBJ’ on everything. Lunchboxes. Schoolbooks. Hell, birthday cards.”
"I remember."
Steve elbows him gently. “Why’d you ask?”
They stand there a while longer.
The lights flicker in the distance.
And there it is. That soft pang in his chest, sharp and sad and warm all at once.
Bucky hesitates. Opens his mouth to say something else–
“Gentlemen!”
You’re striding toward them with far too much confidence, holding a large, offensively purple stuffed bat in both hands like it’s a gift from a distant god.
“I bring tribute.”
You shove the bat into Bucky’s hands, grinning. “For being so brave in the cornfield. And for looking like you were about five seconds away from emotionally unloading on pie.”
The bat’s wings sparkle. Its eyes are mildly unhinged.
Bucky looks at it to you. “What is this.”
“A cherished new member of the team. And a gift to you.”
Steve’s face does something complicated behind his cup.
And for a second, Bucky just stares at the stupid plush thing in his hands, and tries to ignore the way his throat tightens.
Bucky huffs. “Thanks. It’s horrifying.”
“I know,” you say, bright as anything. “Try not to fall in love with me over it.”
He has the sick, annoying, grating feeling that it's a warning that's come too late, probably.
But he doesn’t say that.
Because you steal the rest of his pie.
And the ugly bat now rests on his bed.
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Ena x G/N Reader HCs: An Ode To Isekai (Or, How You Destroy Her and Moony’s Sandwiches)
One moment, you were choking on a pickle that the employee at your favorite fast food restaurant neglected to remove. The next, you were plummeting through a swirling mess of distorted colors, shapes shifting around you like a broken computer screen. Gravity twisted in ways it shouldn’t, and just when you thought you’d keep falling forever—
THUD.
“AAAH! OUR BEAUTIFUL, PEACEFUL PICNIC! DESTROYED! TRAGEDY! WOE IS ME!”
The voice was loud, dramatic, and oddly robotic, and as you groaned, struggling to push yourself up, you realized you’d landed right on top of a checkered picnic blanket… and two figures. One was an angular, multi-colored humanoid flailing her arms wildly, and the other was a round, moon-faced being staring blankly at you.
The nausea was instant. The sky was glitching, the grass beneath you was pixelated, and the entire world meshed together with low-poly graphics. Panic clawed at your chest.
“Oh! How fascinating! A new specimen! A new friend! A LOST SOUL!” The colorful girl’s tone flipped in an instant, her arms outstretched as if you were some grand discovery.
You barely had time to react before she yanked you upright with alarming strength. “Salutations! My name is Ena! And you are…?”
ENA is immediately, intensely curious about you. One second she’s mourning the loss of her sandwiches, the next she’s staring at you with her face way too close to yours, inspecting you like you’re some rare artifact.
“How peculiar! You have skin! And your eyes—so full of FEAR and EXISTENTIAL DREAD! Adorable!”
The one apparently named Moony, still sitting on the ground, tilts her head. “You look sick. Don’t vomit on my blanket.”
You do, in fact, feel sick. The ground beneath you doesn’t feel real, and the sky keeps shifting between daytime and nighttime. Your body feels out of place in this world.
“Oh nyo, my new chum is feewing siwck :c dis is allll my fauwlt” Ena cries, polygonal tears falling out of her eyes and literally bouncing off of you. However, she notices your shaky breathing, and she seems to pause her breakdown. Then her tone shifts into something oddly clinical. “Ah. I see. Overwhelmed. Confused. Rapid heart rate. Nausea. Ah, yes. Yes yes yes. Yes yes. Expected results.”
“Do not worry, my fleshy, fragile companion! I, Ena, shall teach you the ways of this realm! Perhaps you shall THRIVE! Or perish horribly. But no! I shall ensure your survival! HOPEFULMISTICALLY!”
She switches between exaggerated theatrics and cold, matter-of-fact, and often bizarre statements at random, which does not help your anxiety.
At first, her advice isn’t very helpful, or well, maybe it is, at this point you aren’t sure of anything anymore. “Do not drink the water from the drinking fountains. Or do. It might turn you into a dog. Or erase your mouth. It’s a gamble! And you know what God says about that!”
Eventually, though, she starts learning how to help in a more… normal way. She slows down when she notices you trembling, and after a long pause, she mutters, “You feel like you don’t belong here, don’t you?”
It’s the first time her voice sounds completely even. No wild swing, no emotional outburst, Just quiet understanding, as if both of her sides are coequal in their understanding.
She places a hand on your shoulder. “I know that feeling. I still feel that way, most of the time.”
“But,” she continues, suddenly perking up, her yellow side taking control again, “I have ADAPTED! And so can you!”
You’re not entirely convinced. But the way she begins doing a strange dance around you like you’ve already won something makes it hard to stay hopeless.
“Besides! You have me now! A trusty, glorious, questionably competent guide! Let us find you STABILITY! Or at least, a divine snack.”
Moony finally chimes in again. “... You still crushed my sandwich.”
Ena gasps. “And a REPLACEMENT SANDWICH! Quickly, to the food vendor! Or the wishing well! Maybe we’ll be lucky and summon a perfect BLT (Barely Legible Tomato) from the void!”
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Aren't you tired of being nice, don't you just wanna go apeshit: a ramble about the despair gimmick
In short- in my mind & my world, despair is basically just giving up on your/society's principles and deliberately becoming the worst version of yourself. It's kind of a rejection of society and expectations to a catastrophic degree- I am tired of being nice and I am going to go apeshit (I'm sick of trying to keep everything together, I'm doing a 180 and burning it all to the ground). Who hasn't fantasized a little bit about giving up the long fight for good and doing all the things you know are bad?
In long:
I do think the whole despair and hope, specifically, are moreso gimmicks to have easily recognisable and iconic words in your game rather than something you can actually summarise. I mean, the concepts are real, and the feelings are as real as any feeling is. But the spiral-eyes and super-saiyan mode are obviously moreso to make it dynamic and On Brand, and it's simply more fun that way. As a visual artist this is great for me!
But like, the actual despair thing to me is a more familiar feeling that a lot of people might recognize; a kind of sickness, not illness, but being sick of the world you were born into. Especially these gifted kids with their whole future already defined, whether they like it or not. If your world is rigid and unyielding, you might be sorely tempted to take a sledgehammer and just wreck it.
Akane example: her life was really rough, and her only way out was sports and the privileges being good at them brings. If she doesn't keep up, she just might end back in poverty, and at least in gymnastics there are less people abusing her. But she still needs to practice, mind her diet, wear the right clothes, socialize, compete, go to school, worry about her family back home, etc. Eventually she throws it all away, says FUCK IT and lets herself do whatever she wants, even ruins her body so there is a very slim chance she can even make a comeback- no expectations, nothing to live up to. Then, she can finally stop trying so hard to be good. It's easier to lay down and deteriorate, and after so long pushing yourself to make it, there's probably a kind of delerious joy to finally just. Give up, and stop trying. Absolving yourself of all responsibility for your life and others', whatever happens from here on out just doesn't matter.
Imagine your life is a castle of blocks (you know, the kind kids play with).
When you're little, everything is impressive. You made one block stand up, wow! Good job! Keep going, here's a block coloured improvement, here's one coloured discipline.
You should have a block coloured father figure, but instead you're handed violence. That one is misshapen and ugly and makes your whole construct unstable and much more difficult to work with in the future, but you're too young to know the difference. Once you're old enough to know, it's too late- you already built so much on that foundation.
As you go on, and make a bigger castle, not only does the building get harder, but people expect more, and it gets more and more imperative that you keep going and do not fuck up. Especially when you're a gifted kid that's supposed to be the very best at that one thing you do - it's exhausting!! Every time the castle so much as rattles, you're terrified it's all gonna come down, and you just start hating this stupid castle.
Then someone shows up and says, hey. You can just knock this whole thing down, yknow? If you do, people will stop hounding you about it, and if you do it with a big tantrum and a bang, they won't even expect you to try again. You can just rest.
And god, doesn't that sound good.
She hands you a baseball bat and you delightfully start smashing your castle to bits, and get splinters and blisters and tire yourself out with it. Once you're done, maybe you even start smashing other people's blocks. Maybe you even think you're helping them. It's just stupid blocks and you're so over treating them seriously.
(It so happens that she is making her own empire out of the wood chips of your life, but you don't see that. Or you don't care, or you're just happy to give something back to her.)
But of course it's not actually a castle of blocks. It's your life, and you don't get to switch out broken blocks for new ones and you can't un-smash them.
Kind of like waking up from a bender, a fun wild crazy time while it lasted, but now you feel sick and gross and hurt and you'd like to go back to the comforts you had, but... too late.
You get put into a rehab coma. Everything is a mess, everything hurts, and you don't really want to live in a pile of wood chips after all. You don't need to make a castle, you can make whatever you want, actually. But it's gonna be pretty hard.
A guy hands you band-aids and some glue and says, better get to work.
And you get to work.
#Talky talky#Ive been writing into this on and off for so long lol#Just some thinks n thoughts#I am hovering my own baseball bat over my own house of blocks lmao as always i am Projecting#Fuyuhiko: im sick of trying to do good while running a criminal empire. Im gonna be the bad guy everyone assumes#Sonia: I'm tired of putting everyone in my country before myself. I'm going to boost myself up at their expense#Etc etc etc#There's like. A vindictive little man in your brain that kind of wants to just be let loose and tear into things#And you gotta tell it nooooo I understand how you feel but we can't do that. Let's microdose on it by punching a pillow
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