#it's late and I'm delirious

[mmani-e]

One last for the night. Thanks to everyone who liked my last post :)

[mezzy303]

So I've been rereading skip beat from the beginning for the first time in uhhhhh almost 10 years and I'm going inSaNE over characterizations and development that I have to write it down

At this point I'm only at the Heel siblings arc so I haven't gotten to the Guam or Saena arcs which are very big for Kyoko and Ren's character development and healing which I haven't reread since those chapters came out

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Nakamura for basing Kyoko and Ren's childhood struggles and trauma on very real things that aren't often, if at all, dealt with in anime/manga and also writing them with utmost care (Not only do the traumas inform their personalities, but their healing arcs aren't just a one and done thing!! It's a very slow process) Like starting with Kyoko, her single mother neglected her so much that she was raised by a family friend. On top of that, nothing Kyoko did was ever good enough for her mother, and both of these things are so apparent in Kyoko's character. She attaches herself to fairytales and magic as an escapism and because she relates to stories like Cinderella. She literally cannot function if she messes up and no one criticizes her. She can't properly acknowledge her own talents and beauty without it being attached somehow to fairytales; she never quite believes shes good enough. Similarly, she didn't want to bother anyone with her troubles, so she always dealt with them alone/in private spaces. Pretty sure she also has lowkey abandonment issues. And this is all parental trauma!! Things she already has before the series starts and she gets so utterly heartbroken she swears off romantic love entirely so she can never get hurt the same way again.

(I don't think I'll ever get over how Kyoko told all this to Kuu and he was literally like I'm adopting you. Your mine now. Sorry I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Kuu going home to his wife like hey we got a new kid 😂 Like Kyoko freezing up when she made mistakes and then Kuu showing her love instead of reprimanding her makes me go 🥹😩💖✨😭💝 Kyoko getting all fluffy from head pats🥹🥹 But on the downside she literally can't bring herself to call him dad unless she's in acting mode sjdfhsf)

When I really consider it, I wonder if Kyoko really loved Sho as a person or like.... the idea of him. Like he was just a convenient guy via proximity bc Kyoko needed someone to be her "prince". We haven't been shown exactly why she fell in love, but it would explain why she stuck with dedicating herself to him despite his terrible personality and knowing he never saw her the same way. It's portrayed like the concept of hatsukoi in anime where its ✨pure✨and innocent✨It seems very idealistic. Whereas Kyoko's love for Ren is more mature. She sees every aspect of Ren and doesn't sugarcoat it, she sees him as he is (she does him up on a pedestal but partially bc she admires him but also as an extreme measure to protect her heart and hide her feelings imo)

And REN. trauma to the max. He had to deal with the hardships of making a name for himself when his parents are already famous, extreme racism from being biracial, his friend/mentor dying from an accident he unintentionally caused???? Like boy hates himself so much he's literally disassociating 24/7 he needs a fucking therapist. I get how being Ren has helped him in some capacity but he needs a professional asap. Though deep diving into this is so interesting because Ren/Kuon compartmentalized his issues and the parts that he hates about himself so much he created its own persona ("Dark Kuon"), to the point he's rarely ever just himself. And he buried it so deep that as soon as he cracked the lid open, those emotions just spilled out. He can't even allow himself to be happy, and when he does feel truly happy, his automatic response is acting nonchalant,,,,,,,,,,,, he didn't even realize he was doing it at first 😢

Also the symbolism with Ren's watch makes me go a little feral. I don't remember if it's originally his or Rick's but it obviously stopped when the latter died and Ren keeps it as a reminder of what happened and why he went to Japan. It's a weird item since it grounds him but also represents his heavy trauma, and I think having those two things in one kinda showcases Ren's unhealthy coping mechanisms (like grounding himself to something traumatic isn't... great...). But that scene where he realizes he took it off and he has a moment of whether it to keep it on as Cain Heel or not??? *clenches fist* it was so good. (To recap it, he had his watch so he wouldn't lose himself in the role of BJ and then forgot it in the bathroom after an unexpected trauma response) Ren narrates his thoughts as choosing between Rick or Kyoko but interpreting this, he's choosing whether to keep himself stuck in his past trauma or move forward and let himself be happy AKA stick with unhealthy coping mechanisms vs try something healthy and rely on people he trusts. Kyoko essentially becomes someone Ren grounds himself to 🥺 He still needs therapy though lmao. He's so mentally unstable in this arc,,,

As I'm writing this I'm seeing a parallel between Kyoko and Ren and how they both had an experience that completely and utterly broke them, and it was this that pushed them onto their current paths in showbiz. And they likely would never have met each other again if those things never happened (they had to lose themselves to find each other?? 😭). It's so funny to me that Ren is all like ThEiR fAtEs ArE iNtErTwInEd with Kyoko and Sho when you have to consider the fact that him and Kyoko meeting again was like. a chance in a billion. It was fate 😂

KyoRen is such a poetic ship to me. The fact that they're different people when they meet and don't recognize the other. How Ren starts falling in love AS SOON AS HE REALIZES KYOKO IS THE SAME GIRL HE MET (Ren being gray/demiromantic.... more at 5). Kyoko lowkey starting to crush on Ren when she witnesses a bit of his real personality. These two things happening around the same time??????? And Ren being SO afraid of being Kuon, his true self, because of his bad qualities, but Kyoko pulling out the good qualities without him fully realizing it?? (I'm 100% referring to Kuon being a mischievous little shit and I live for how he teases Kyoko) tbh they treat each other differently from other people without even realizing it lol. And Kyoko being surrounded by toxic and possessive men pursuing her, and Ren being anything BUT. Like my man is a gigantic green flag. He recognizes that he can't seriously pursue Kyoko bc she's a minor and he really tries his best to only be a friend and mentor in her life and keeping her trust and never crossing her boundaries despite the stereotypes of men being "unable to control themselves." Y'all take point this should be the standard at minimum☝️

I have to talk about Sho bc this boy is so fucking toxic but he makes such a fascinating character. As much as I hate how Kyoko got heartbroken in the way she did, I think it was necessary so that she could leave Sho's sorry ass and cut him out of her life. Seriously,,,, he took advantage of her and used her as a servant. she literally dropped out of school, moved to a different city, and took on two jobs for the sole purpose of helping his career and then he threw her away like a used rag (JUST THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY). And then he has the audacity to fall in love with her smh. Anyway the fascinating part about him to analyze is how he's so possessive of Kyoko. Like she was a mere fly in his life, but she was always his. Until she wasn't. And I think those twisted thoughts kinda morphed into feelings for Kyoko. Ig in a way he still cares about her, but it could never hide how toxic he is. Anyone who's like I don't care how this person thinks of me as long as I take up the biggest space in their heart is egotistical and narcissistic. BUT he and Kyoko bickering like siblings will always be funny. Like epitome of two people who've lived with each other for way too long so they know how the other ticks and also get on each other's nerves 😂😂Sho does makes a good foil for Ren though. Like he's basically everything Ren is not: immature, temperamental, possessive, vain, the list goes on. His only redeeming qualities as a character is providing good drama and humor and being an example of what Ren isn't.

Skip Beat is really a story about healing and learning to love yourself and letting others love you and Nakamura is such a good story teller 🥺

[54625]

Assuming for a minute that both aliens and a god are real; if an alien, from a solar system far from ours, were to die, would it go to heaven? The same heaven as us? Would the hypothetical afterlife be universal? Would we meet aliens for the first time after we die?

Furthermore, does god watch over the lives of the aliens in the same way he supposedly does us? Does god love the aliens? Does god love the aliens more than he loves us? Are humans not his magnum opus? Is his masterpiece elsewhere? Am I going a little insane?

[mrsnaildood]

Heh.. when the ninja grow

[uncanny-tranny]

First project update:

I hated the way the fabric was laying (because I didn't believe in counting stitches at all), and I hated the shape. I've accepted early on that the only way to do good work is to get rid of bad work. This has probably taken me between 50-100 hours, and it took maybe half an hour to frog. I'm not angry about this, actually, and I was actually smiling most of the way through it. This is the only way to make good work, and I've learned that the hard way before. Why bother doing anything but good work?

[the-bisexual-a-genda]

The digital ticket for Cinderella's Castle is out!

After that, it will be a long wait for the YouTube release. But do not despair! You can watch a much worse unauthorized one woman reenactment of the show next weekend!

You know as long as you have really really really low standards. Which about a thousand or so of you did back when I made my Nerdy Prudes From Memory Video

[20nugs]

this is what I think of when I read "He smirks at me..."

[ketamachine]

Next up on RuPauls drag race we've got a newcomer, Ms. Cardi Lidge! That's right, the only bone in this fabulous queen is someone else's massive fucking cock! She can wiggle into and out of anything, give it up for Cardiiii!!!!!

[fluffypotatey]

Just read "The Shrine of Emrys" again and uh. Bro. You know how there's different feast days for saints like St. Florian, St. Christopher, etc?

Do you think the Druids have an Emrys Day?

Maybe they celebrate it with flowers and a feast of Emrys's favourite offerings and children make butterflies from parchment/cloth/leaves/whatever and maybe they also burn Uther in effigy.

Arthur is deeply conflicted on that one because a part of him is like "Yeah that's fair" and another part is like "guys, that's my dad, c'mon". The knights get a kick out of it, tho. Some more than others *cough*Gwaine*cough*

Merlin is lying facedown in the dirt and screaming into a lump of moss.

you reread my fics 🥺

but yeah yes, i already headcanon that they celebrate Emrys's "birth" or at least when the magic community was notified that Emrys will be present in this generation. so yeah they go all out to celebrate.

[thewavesfadetogrey]

I wanna run so far, I'd beat the morning

Before the dawn has come, I'd block the Sun

If you want it done.

- Hozier, De Selby (part 2)

[slug-gore-bug]

POV: He approaches, what do you do?

[thefvrious]

feeling thankful, grateful, blessed for the multitudinous ways @ghostsxagain and @lostintra have indulged me and been supportive of me the last couple of days especially!

[nataliescatorccio]

i really really appreciate your kind words and i hope i'm not being annoying with the questions, but do you have any idea why the whole gif is becoming transparent? ive tried it a few times and it keeps happening. i got an image from google, it's a transpartent png shape. so just black lines and everything else transparent. i followed the steps with the gif, and as soon as i click the clipping mask the whole goes away. it doesnt stay in the shape, it disappears completely.

oh, sorry anon, i misunderstood and thought you meant the png was working! it sounds like you're not using a shape, but something that is outlined? the way your clipping mask is working is that it will clip to the filled in area, which in this case, will just be your outline. if your shape is transparent then it won't pick it up, just the outlining line. you need to find a filled in shape (like a silhouette) rather than an outline and then it should work.

so just a quick example, something like this:

won't work as a clipping mask itself because it will just try to clip to where the black lines are. you need something like this:

to get it to clip to that black area.

what i do is when i have an outline i want to use, i just the magic wand tool to select the area of the shape i want, go to a new layer, and just colour in the inside area of the shape with a brush. you can then use this filled in shape as the clipping mask, and put the outline on top to outline your shape! if you find clipping masks confusing though, then maybe try with a silhouette first to get the hang of it.

[dxsole]

Just saw Encanto for the first time,,,

freaking,,,Disney, Pixar, whomever those bastards are made me bawl my eyes out :/// thinking about suing for punitive damages,,,I didn't need to feel this sad over a fictional family rn

[delirious-donna]

Here we go...

Blue Lock time!