#it's like nothings fucking changed
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Oh fuck. Today marks 6 whole years since The Bullshit started. I mean. It'd Started well before then but that's when it officially started yknow. And what cosmic irony is it that a whole new bullshit that's basically just a worse version of the original bullshit is starting now too
#my autoimmune disorder fully kicked in on Feb 18. 2018 lmao#and like. I know it all started before then bcuz even that previous April I had what I realized later was a flare#and the December before that was when I had strep that spread to my ears and almost definitely my brain bcuz my doctor just didn't give#us the strep test results for a whole week#so shit was definitely going wrong before then but it didn't actually Do anything until that day yknow#we were in Seattle to see Hamilton live and I could barely even see the stage because the world was spinning too much and I was so nauseous#I spendt the entire next week in bed and barely ate anything. missed a ton of school. and it just never got better#and now here we are. 6 years later. and I've spent almost the whole week in bed and barely eaten. waiting on specialist appointments again.#it's like nothings fucking changed#last year I was almost over even remembering the day because I'd mostly stopped grieving the loss of the life I used to have#and now it's even worse than before.#idk man it's just. it's a lot yknow#armchair speaks#actually disabled#physically disabled
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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To anyone who wants to talk shit about bad story/character development in Deadpool & Wolverine CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP! I CAME TO SEE 2 HOURS OF DEADPOOL MAKING META & SEX JOKES AND HAVING HOMOEROTIC TENSION WITH WOLVERINE AND MARVEL DELIVERED EXACTLY THAT
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#deadpool 3#I don’t care if the story isn’t endgame-levels of angst or whatever#you know guys just because the MCU isn’t doing well doesn’t mean they had to release another Endgame esque movie for redemption#MAYBE I JUST WATCHED IT FOR A GOOD TIME#AND NOTHING ELSE#ISNT THAT CRAZY#but yeah I loved the movie#wolverine#genuinely though the movie could’ve been 2 hours of gay sex and not much would have changed#I came to see deadpool & wolverine and got Deadpool & wolverine#for once#true advertising#loved this movie#WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK#also cassandra nova#can we talk about her?#I like her#I like how VIOLATING she was#cassandra nova
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random monarch trio stuff (and 24 is also there yeah)
#the first one is like ok more serious the rest is just lame#id finish the first cause i had fun with the idea but i have enough wips as is and sometimes a rough sketch says more#sorry#i have more but these are the most 'polished' (as much as they can be)#anyway#my art#basslinegrave art#venture bros#monarch a trois#the monarch#dr. mrs. the monarch#henchman 21#henchman 24#cackling at the fence one i think i got that idea like at night and ran to my phone to write the idea in my notes#ok i added one more sketch#idk what posessed me to finish it so fast cause i was working with basically nothing (a shitty phone draft)#(the monarch and 21 one) og has holding up a heart shape with the hands but i changed it to an awkward M inspired by that pose gary did#but i changed it from the thumbs to fingers because it was too anatomically fucked up
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Constantly plagued with thoughts of Edwin now knowing he enjoys being courted and Charles (compulsive charmer) with a whole new arsenal up his sleeve (laser focus on Monty’s whole deal)
“I mean, my smile is prett-y convincing” yeah yeah okay I can see where this is heading. Outlook not so good (for me)
#and the thing is#Charles wouldn’t even be actively or intentionally doing it to woo Edwin. that’s not on his radar what’s he need to do that for.#he’s just Like That#an artist perfecting his art form you could say#Edwin knows! obviously. which is even more satisfying bc#he gets to be on the receiving end of All That AND he gets to be a massive bitch about it#the scathing commentary is directly proportional to how pleased he is#which CHARLES knows#Charles said nothing would change!!! and nothing has they’re still /them/#maybe he’s even working on figuring the rest out. that’s not important.#someone fucking put me down already I am constantly so pained#dead boy detectives#Charles Rowland#Edwin Payne#dbda#don’t think I’ve ever used a ship tag on a post before but hey#payneland#I say hi
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The lovers?
#this might be a wip i dont even know lol#consumed by the beast yesterday had to draw this POSTHASTE#garashir#julian bashir#elim garak#star trek fanart#star trek ds9#ds9 fanart#star trek#artists on tumblr#markers#bright colors#if i worked on this more i think it could be awesome.. or like a 9 hour haul where nothing actually changes akdjzndb#well see lmao#had to draw them again#i fucking missed them.....
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HE'S GONNA STEAL--NOT JUST YOUR HEART--BUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN AS WELL!!!
#chrisrin doodles#grian#mcyt#persona 5#hermitcraft#i should probably come up with a name for this au?#anyways GRIAN!#i didn't have a firm persona in mind for him#but i was thinking about maybe someone like artful dodger?#from oliver twist#ill be frank i know nothing about the novel#i was just looking last night for famous thieves but specifically like#very sterotypical pickpockets/classic thieves#not very gentleman-y at all#he's probably a wind user#super quick on his feet#he does not have a gun he just throws explosives#if youre wondering about his outfit i think it's VERY fitting for grian to have his ideal version of 'rebellion'#be literally like. a petty robber who causes absolute chaos#he still has his shackles on#theyre broken#he just got out of jail#he's going to rob another bank#he's going to be a Fucking Menace#and no one can stop him#his codename i think would change every single time#scar just calls him something new every time they go in#and the rest of the thieves just roll with it
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EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.
#mark and the fact he is fighting for this fucking life to avoid the Many Bad Endings???? im pacing. getting out the red string.#when the season is about who you are and what you could become. when trying to be good is an active choice and a struggle.#RAHHHHHHHHHHH#chewing on the bars of my enclosure...when every mark is evil OUR mark is the outlier. the exception. the OTHER. RAHHHH#dog poetry being mark poetry because how often can you kick a dog before it starts snarling before you raise your hand?#how often can you beat it before it rips into you without mercy? when it bites not at your hand but at your neck?#when does violence for survival and violence for vengeance start and end? when your opponent is down and you keep drawing blood?#circling and pacing and losing my mind over this btw if you care#anyways self vs self gets me going crazy. did you know i loved the end of atsv? because it shows.#i think o!mark would lose his fucking mind at what evil wasp looking mark has done + this mf wasp would LOATHE mark's kindness#they both see the other as the WORST version of themselves and they can't stand it. They can't shatter the mirror but they think they can--#--change the reflection.#evil mark seeing mark and seeing what he USED to be#mark seeing what he COULD be#CAN U SEE THE VISION??????#digital art#invincible rotating in my mind#invincible fanart#fanart#mark my beloved#mark grayson fanart#mark grayson#invincible s2#invincible show#mark like hello this is my secret twin and he is NOTHING like me hahahaha anyways wanna debate about having mORALS and LIFE#mark grayson vs the urge not to accept every responsibility as his own#he's batman coded that way#ok im done yapping#if this happened in the comics in any way shape or form dont tell me JACK SHIT or i will PUMMEL YOU with my SHOES
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It’s so cute seeing other fandoms complain about their really good anime adaptations meanwhile s1 and 2 of Kuro are just… bad. Just an absolute dumpster fire. Like I’m seeing people complaining because some of the Hellsing characters were drawn slightly differently in Ultimate, I’m seeing BSD fans talk about how they ever so slightly tweaked this one panel from the manga.
Babygirl, they added a whole two and a half seasons of non-canon wacko nonsense. They added a naked dog-man. They spoiled a major plot twist of the manga. They took a hacksaw to like three whole characters personalities. They added the Alice in Wonderland OVA.
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#LOOK at what they did to sebastian grell and lizzie#LOOK#the hellsing OVA fucks#bsd is one ld the best anime ive ever seen#you know nothing of the depths anime adaptations can descend to#death note fans are chill though#theyre like oh yeah they kind of changed lights character#and they did compress the last half of the series like a jpeg#but the soundtrack slaps and they made it 50% gayer#so a net positive
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you bitches have got to watch Scavengers Reign if you haven't yet, i'm only a few episodes in and it's already completely unlike anything else i've ever seen
#if nothing else just check it out for the incredible animation and the beautifully designed alien world#but that DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT. NOT EVEN CLOSE.#i'm like. have i forever been changed by this somehow. by a few episodes of this show. i feel altered#i don't even have commentary of any kind or anything funny to say while the episode plays#except for occasionally What The Fuck and Oh My God#i'm just sitting there with my jaw slack until the credits roll#actually that's not true. i occasionally scream. THIS SHOW IS SO SCARY#IT'S NOT MARKETED AS HORROR I DON'T THINK???#IT'S SCARIER THAN SOME HORROR FILMS I'VE SEEN THAT REALLY -TRY- TO SCARE YOU#not in a Horror Genre way but in the way that a world this alien IS horrific. it's so scary. it doesn't matter at all that you're there.#i've never seen a creative work that did ''alien'' this well. i can hardly even draw comparisons#it feels both prehistoric and posthistoric#simultaneously it feels like we're shrunken down experiencing a microscopic level of something and that we're at a macro level#you gotta get into it.#sergle.txt#scavengers reign
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saw x doodles!!!! also a peter :]
#SAW X MADE ME LIKE MANDY SOOOO MUCH MORE#SHES SUCH A FUCKED UP GIRLIE#I love her nothing bad should ever happen to her :(#amanda young#mark hoffman#peter strahm#saw#saw x#uhh#saw v#saw 2023#????#is that a tag#ALSO BPD PETER IS SO REAL TO ME#BPD REALNESS#I am PROJECTING!!!!!!#it literally changes nothing I just think he has bpd. ok.#it is real tome.#coffinshipping#not a art tag
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Mostly Hiring manager, but HR manager and PR manager too
#elden ring#elden ring varre#white mask varre#varre#white faced varre#tarnished#tarnished oc#varre x tarnished#tw; blood#suggestive#no jokes or humor this time sorry#just Varre being Varre#I know I usually stick to humor stuff but this clawed through my brain like an eldritch horror#I actually hate 5/11 Varre faces I drew here but I did my best#sometimes homeboy is gonna look like a lil gremlin and there’s nothing I can do about it#but also those other 6 /11 faces are the best I’ve ever done so I’ll take it#never been more clear to me how I unconsciously push myself to do harder things#like we got crazy hand angles with defined knuckles and fingernails#we got the upward angle face that doesn’t look like shit#we got form fitting lighting that is passable#semi accurate fabric physics#did I not give a fuck about the BG#yes#but I’m here for Varre sex appeal not rendering bricks#also misericorde magically changes scale throughout the whole comic#lmao oops#most detailed environmental lighting I’ve done too#Christ the lengths I go to for deranged fictional men#at the very least I feel like the dialogue isn’t ooc#me fighting for my life to make sure Varre looks like the same damn character between each panel
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why does every reconciliation fic go like this
#my dc posting#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanart#ugh i forgot to change tim n dick's skin colours aa i already put my drawing stuff away whatever#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#<- main offenders#no but. jason will be making some absolutely great points#ill be cheering him on like YEAH know ur fucking value good job call them the fuck out dont fall for their shit!!#then there will be one (1) event n suddenly the author pulls a complete 180#all of jason's valid issues n complaints r swept away without ever being solved#at most he's given a few flimsy excuses or justifications#n suddenly hes all happy n dandy w them#like 🤨🤨🤨 what!!!#like nothing changes nobody makes any effort but apparently one sentence going 'omg no it wasnt like that jason 😭' is enough to sweep#everything under the rug#like why have i never read a fic where anyone actually works to change. to right the wrongs theyve done. to apolgoize and do better.#aside form of course jason going 'i see now that murder is wrong i was stupid n angry for no good reason good thing the pit madness has bee#solved/managed better n i have apologized to Poor Little 10yo Baby Tim whom i hurt and traumatized So Badly how will he ever forgive me...'#'fuck my family wtf is wrong w these assholes' 'i killed the joker for like 3 minutes' 'i love you i have no further issues aside from#Teenage Angst which will be cured via being told my anger is disproportional and of course one (1) hug form my Dearest Father'#when will i read someone 'pullin the alfred card' and jason respondin w 'fuck alfred'. he deserves to be an asshole w the way hes treated..#ok ill stop now im just. very done w this stuff
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What if Aziraphale knew what kind of effect it would have when he offered to restore Crowley to full angelic status. What if Crowley walking away was what he wanted? What he needed to keep him safe? Aziraphale just never expected the kiss.
What if “Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death,” wasn’t just the name of a coffee shop, but also a threat? What if all of the lies we saw him told (Job’s children…The Miracle…), the performances we saw him put on (The Jane Austen ball…the Magician act) was all a lead up to his biggest lie yet? “You’re demons, you’re evil.”
What if that was what Aziraphale thought he needed to do to keep Crowley from putting himself in danger to “rescue” him one last time?
What if Aziraphale didn’t want to reform Heaven so much as he wanted to rip it up by the roots and tear it apart, so it can never hurt Crowley again?
What if he knew.
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable divorce#this is a whole lot of nothing#my brain is a melted cocktail of despair and sadness#I needed season 3 like yesterday#it’s fun to speculate#but I think that it’s also an incredible character arc if Aziraphale truly still believed Heaven could still be changed#BUT it’s suspicious as hell that we never actually saw Aziraphale’s reaction to the Metatron’s initial offer#im just SAYING. ITS SUSPICIOUS#And I also just love BAMF!Aziraphale marching into Heaven to fuck it UP
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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i realizedd i have nt drawn mithrun befure
#hate2say this but hes. just like me forrealll....#like i can do Things. but ive lost the want 2 take care of myself that i go 2-4 days w/o eating/sleeping so i NEED someone 2 help me w it#bc wnen i was 13-14 i could only eat rations + nothing for. a year that it completely fucked up my weight and eating habits#mithrun we r in this together my boy its going to be slippery & we will splat and sploink but by god we willcontinue our lives trying#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#mithrun#i still think abt that dunmesh post where smthing can change u forever & u can never go back but the love will still b there waiting 4 you
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