#it's not ordinary TO ME. call me selfish but yeah

[thomine]

just a short notice that i'm not a very number person. this means that likes + reblogs (with no comments), although appreciated, are not as favoured as people commenting or letting me know what they think.

[heauxvibez]

Kissing On My Tattoos

warning: eehh, naur warning. Maybe just a sprinkle of a moan in there, but nothing harmful :)

Roman texting you while you're on a date has never been out of the ordinary. Especially if you had no interest in the guy.

A smile lit up Roman's face every time his phone buzzed, knowing it was a message from you, signaling that you weren't enjoying yourself.

Baby Girl💕: Can you come pick me up when he drops me off?

Biting his bottom lip, Roman typed the following words,

Sure thing baby girl. Just let me know when you get home.

His brown eyes brightened, he couldn't wait to see you. Just the thought of you made his heart race which he hated but loved at the same time. He just wanted to have fun. But you, oh, you yearned for something deeper, something more profound, especially with him.

When he confessed his attraction for you but made it clear he wasn't ready for anything serious, it broke you, leaving a bittersweet ache in your heart. Yet, you understood. Some people couldn't fathom the idea of commitment. And Roman, he was one of them.

He did put an offer on the table though, he put forth the idea of ya'll becoming friends with benefits. No strings attached whatsoever.

You were very hesitant and you thought about the offer for at least 2 weeks. You were putting your feelings on the line and knew it wasn't worth it but you really wanted to be with him. And if that was the only way you could have him, then so be it.

It's been 3 months since you've agreed and to be honest, you have enjoyed it. Besides the fact that Roman always.. and I mean always flirted with other girls in front of you. But hey, that's what you signed up for.

Before you knew it, you were dipping your toes into the waters of other men's attention. After all, if Roman was playing the field, why shouldn't you? The plan was simple: keep him around until someone else came along who truly made you feel the way he did.

Roman had picked up on it. Your absence hadn't gone unnoticed, not with you off on dates with other guys. And weirdly enough, he was feeling... jealous? Roman had never really been the green-eyed type, but lately, something was stirring inside him. He knew he shouldn't be, given he'd been messing around with other girls while fooling around with you. But still, that twinge of envy lingered.

He wanted you all to himself, plain and simple. Yeah, he knew it was selfish and unfair, but that's just how he felt, and nothing could shake that.

Lately, he'd been keeping his distance from the other girls he'd been seeing. It was like he was slowly cutting ties with them, realizing that his heart belonged to you and you alone.

Slipping into a black tee and his favorite Nike sandals, Roman checked his phone after getting a text from you.

Your date didn't go as planned, and now all you wanted was for Roman to bring back that smile to your face.

___

"Thanks for picking me up Ro, tonight was horrible.."

You collapsed onto his bed, sprawling out on your stomach. His scent enveloped you, his cologne mingling with the familiar smell of his sheets. You melted into the mattress, feeling completely at ease. Your muscles relaxed, and so did your mind. It was pure bliss.

He settled on the edge of the bed near your feet, releasing a heavy sigh.

"No problem, baby."

Internally, you melted. When he called you baby, it sent shivers down your spine, but you quickly reminded yourself that you probably weren't the only one he called that.

Before long, he was stretched out beside you, shirtless now. He propped his hands behind his head, gazing up at the ceiling. His mind seemed to be wandering, lost in a swirl of thoughts.

He couldn't bear the thought of anyone else having you, touching you, holding you, kissing you...None of it. The idea alone made him want to scream in frustration.

You noticed the look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

You hopped onto his lap, settling with your legs on either side, facing him.

"Nothing..."

"Don't lie to me."

He grinned and his hands found their way to your thighs. Instantly, your skin prickled with goosebumps, a familiar sensation whenever he touched you. Your body responded in ways that defied explanation or words.

He licked his lips, nearly making you squeal with anticipation.

"It's...just that I don't like seeing you with other men. It drives me absolutely in-fucking-sane," he expressed sternly. You could tell by the look of his face, he was serious. In fact, it almost felt like you were in trouble just from the way he looked at you.

Holding back a smirk you said,

"Well, I don't like seeing you with other women, but you're the one who came up with this Friend With Benefits crap,"

"I know, I know.." he sighed, running a hand over his bearded face.

"So, what are we going to do?" you asked. You honestly enjoyed this. He was finally giving in to his feelings.

His hands lazily trailed up and down your silky skin, relishing in the way you responded to his touch, your breath catching in your throat.

"We're going to be together because the thought of you being with someone else is eating me up on the inside,"

You awed him, grasping his hands in your own and placing them above his head. Leaning forward, you captured his lips with yours. The kiss was laced with a passion you've never felt before. You both took your time exploring each other's mouths, tongues fighting for dominance before he finally won.

As Roman's tongue teased a sensitive spot in your mouth, you couldn't help but let out a soft moan, feeling a warmth pooling between your thighs.

Planting kisses along his shoulder, you traced the inked patterns on his skin, marveling at the details they whispered about his culture, his life.

When you found that sweet spot, he groaned, his grip on your hand tightening as you continued to hold them above his head.

"Baby.." he whispered breathlessly as you sucked on his sweet spot. You showed no mercy, nibbling and sucking until he was putty in your hands. Every stroke of your tongue against his inked skin sent shivers coursing through his body.

"Now, we aren't going to be together just because you say so. I really want you to drop those women, all of them. Prove to me that you want me and only me.." you murmured against his neck before sitting up, meeting his gaze head-on.

Roman pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes squinting slightly.

"Okay...I will."

Lightly slapping his chest, you glared.

"I'm serious, Roman. You're playing games and I'm not down with that anymore. I'm through being fuck buddies. Either you give me all of you or nothing at all."

Roman sat up, encircling his arms around your waist, pulling you close. He rested his forehead against yours, his desire burning beyond the physical; he wanted to claim you as his own. You were the only one who stirred these feelings within him, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you just to play the field.

He was a fool for your pretty eyes and that smile. How'd he expect himself not to fall?

"I'm not lying, baby. I promise, I will drop them all for you."

He brushed his fingertips along the curve of your cheek, his minty breath teasing your lips as he inched closer.

"I don't have to worry about another woman's lips on your body?" you questioned, a hint of uncertainty in your eyes.

He tenderly kissed your lips, catching you off guard for a fleeting moment.

"Nope. I don't want nobody but you kissin' on my tattoos, baby girl.." he whispered, then leaned in to place a kiss on your temple.

---------------

Hope y'all enjoyed this small little one shot!

And please go read my last two one-shots if you haven't already. I enjoyed writing them and want you to enjoy reading them! Love ya'll, Muah!

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi @msbigredmachine @theninthwonder @mzv11 @wrestlingprincess80 @saintmagx

[stromuprisahat]

Remind me again, why is ~he~ here?!

Siege and Storm- Chapter 9

It's not a team effort, Malyen. Army won't judge you as a couple.

Macho lowly otkazat'sya doesn't get to strike (again).

Please do!

This would work as much more powerful statement, if Mal were genuinely concerned for Alina's well-being and her OWN choice, instead of being pissed he's the one, who called dibs on her.

*whispers* That's exactly what's he gonna do...

For allowing you to keep breathing?!

Yeah, me too...

There's nothing more pathetic than an insecure man shouting.

Perhaps maybe insecure man deciding for "their" woman.

A minute of silence for an alternative universe, where Nikolai isn't so unreasonably accommodating, and has actual guards stationed at door, so they rush in after hearing shouting. They see a deserter attacking their Tsarevich, so they step in...

Is acting like a mindless animal supposed to make him look attractive?!

HoW DaRe You fLiRt WiTh My aCcEsSoRy?!

Because seriously- what's his problem here?!

Really?!

That's what's bothering you, Alina?!

I know Alina has some serious issues regarding self-worth, but I'd be more concerned about him acting as if she were his property, and anyone even suggesting she might have different role in the world deserves to be beaten by fists (because control is overrated and true men make a pub brawl out of anything)...

You're supposed to sit by hearth and warm my soup!

Sorry Malaria, but Alina IS THE Sun Summoner, want it or not. You can't just keep ignoring it and hoping she'll just slip into your shadow AGAIN. ... wait... *war flashbacks from Cofton* At least not as long as there are people capable of finding her and dragging her back into the story.

How can you be so SELFISH, Alina?! What about his soup?!

Just when the heroine moves to assume at least ~some~ responsibility (although for different reasons than you'd expect), she's promptly shamed for not thinking about Maaal for one (1) second... I love how he uses position of honour as an insult, because he's the one with full ownership of a public figure.

I know I'm apparently too demanding, but shouldn't he be overjoyed he didn't get shot on the spot yet? And no one seems too concerned about his desertion...

But hey- gf not discussing her decision to stop hiding from expectations placed upon her is obviously the more pressing matter.

Y'no. if his objection was that she completely forgot to negotiate change of his status in First Army with Nikolai (DESER*gunshot*), I'd cheer and fully support him, but his position in her love life and bedroom is apparently more pressing matter.

Also a huge fan of body language here.

What could crossed arms mean in body language? Rude, angry and insecure?! Sounds about right...

Ordinary deserter ORDERS a Prince and Major of the very same Army he fled...?

Yeah, Alina!

Mal wants his sickly housewife back!

Y'no, I wanted to note how quickly Malyen changed his mind about coming back, but then I re-read the end of previous book to be sure, and it's always been Alina. He wanted to get out, get rid of her amplifier and live his happy life in obscurity consequences be damned:

Shadow and Bone- After

His girl refuses to get rid of all of the stuff that makes her different, so he just has to settle for her fancy clothes...

Wow!

Supportive boyfriend here!

But hey- admitting she IS strong would mean giving up his dreams of watching her trudging after him.

He doesn't even have any idea what the Darkling can or cannot do! It's not some sort of professional opinion!

This one's kinda funny in a way- Alina had very similar thought about him and volcra a chapter earlier...

Siege and Storm- Chapter 8

... ashamed ... given up EVERYTHING to be WITH ME ... Don't tell me, Malyen's so blind he never notices what his (rather pointed) remarks do to Alina?!

I thought we both wanted to help Ravka.

No, Alina. He never did. We've been both wrong. He cares only about himself and his ownership of a small, inconsequential you.

This could offer an interesting view into a mind of a soldier so alienated from his country that offers him zero promises for the future, he cares for nothing... if he weren't such an inconsiderate dick to Alina...

Love this aspect of their relationship! SO empowering!

Like... He'd need to be extremely dull, if I wanted to interpret this as anything but clear fucking MANIPULATION. This is psychological blackmailing 101!

And he's supposed to be the supportive boyfriend SOMEHOW...

[yourdarkcherry]

Seducing Rafe Cameron || Ch.4

Summary: You were blessed with an easy life since you were born, but it’s all threatened when your dad’s business fails and you find yourself with no prospects and no education and so your only solution is to marry rich. Who’s a better candidate than the older brother of your ex-best friend from high school? So you do everything in your power to seduce Rafe Cameron, not knowing he’s the root to all your problems.

Warnings: toxic relationship, spoiled reader, sexist elements, dark content, blackcoded reader, pregnancy, physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, death threats, eventual smut.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

The environment when you have learned of Sarah’s betrayal wasn’t ideal, but then again you don’t think you finding out in any way could’ve been ideal.

You invited yourself to Tannyhill for an impromptu sleepover, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary because you and Sarah always did that. But what was strange was the reason that made you even think you had to do this. Sarah was becoming distant, and you can tell that there was something going on with her and she wasn’t telling you.

It was very strange, as you and Sarah told each other everything.

You and her were lounging in the massive L shaped couch in the living room, you curling to yourself next to her and her sprawled on the longer part of it while you two were mindlessly rewatching Clueless. It was an all time favorite of you both.

The house was relatively empty for the weekend, Ward and Rose away on an anniversary vacation, Wheezie also at a sleepover. You hadn’t seen Rafe since you came over carrying your luggage last night.

It was at the scene that Cher asked Dionne her iconic question, “would you call me selfish?” that Rafe stepped inside the house. You didn’t even notice him as you were giggling and quoting Dionne’s answer back. “No, not to your face.”

Sarah only gave you back a tight smile, her eyes clouding over with something like they always do lately.

You notice Rafe then, with visible scars on his face and looking like he was just involved in a fight. The sight made you sit up straight. Sarah still didn’t notice, and you usually would follow her cue in ignoring Rafe.

But you couldn’t. “Oh my god, are you okay?” you asked, squinting as you stared at his face for longer. Possibly the longest time you’ve ever stared at his face. Sarah’s eyes follow where you’re staring, but she’s not that much shocked.

“It’s not a big deal,” Rafe says. “It’s only Sarah’s stupid boyfriend thinking he can land a punch.”

You frown, then you glance at Sarah and see that her face blanched. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, Colin Davis.” Rafe answers, and he looks at you as if you had grown three heads—like you were stupid for not knowing that your best friend of ten years had a boyfriend.

Your eyes darted to Sarah, searching her face for any sign of an explanation. Her expression had gone pale, confirming that what Rafe said was true.

You stood up from the couch, with clear anger on your face. “Are you shitting me, Rafe?”

Rafe raises an eyebrow, “do I look like someone who would be lying to you?” With that, you turn to stare back at Sarah in horror. Her eyes are red and wet with tears as she slowly stands up from the couch too.

“Why are you making a big deal about this?” Rafe says exasperatedly, “I don’t even know if he’s Sarah’s boyfriend, all I know is that I see him climb out of her window all the time.”

You gasp in disbelief and blink hastily at him, hoping that this is some sort of elaborate cruel joke. That Sarah’s only doing this just to tell you that she’s right in her suspicions about your new boyfriend. If you doubt him enough to cheat, then you know he isn’t good enough for you.

Though you find yourself not caring about him, you don’t even think you liked him that much to begin with. He was just in the football team, and you were a cheerleader and when he asked you out you thought that it would look cute. Cliche, but cute. A cheerleader and an athlete.

“Colin Davis?” you repeat, your eyes darting between Rafe and Sarah. “You fucked Colin Davis? My boyfriend?”

Rafe’s jaw slightly turns slack, and he too turns to look at Sarah for clarification. Sarah’s tears start slipping down her cheeks, and her chest raises and falls sharply while she sniffles.

“(Y/N) I didn’t mean to—”

“You’re telling me you fucked Colin? My fucking boyfriend?” your finger is pointed at your chest as your own eyes start watering the longer you stare at her.

This has to be a nightmare if it wasn’t a joke. But the feel of your hot tears in your eyes is so real, as well as the biting cold of the North Carolina’s autumn bites on your naked thighs.

“I’m sorry— I didn’t—” a gasp cuts her, and you feel the pain of the betrayal wash over you harshly like a tsunami, each revelation feeling like a punch to the gut.

Tears began to spill down your cheeks, hot and unrelenting. The familiar comfort of the couch and the security of your longtime friendship now felt like a distant memory, replaced by a painful and overwhelming sense of heartbreak.

You raise your palm to stop her from talking, “you’re not denying Rafe’s words—that it wasn’t a one time thing.”

Sarah’s tears were thick as they streamed down her face, her chest heaving with ragged breaths as she struggled to find the words to explain herself. But you didn’t want to hear it, the damage was done, and the trust you once shared was irrevocably broken.

“How could you do this to me?” you repeated, your fingers trembling as you wiped at the tears streaming down your cheeks. “You were my best friend. I trusted you more than anyone.”

The memory of all the years you two had spent as inseparable souls, confiding in each other, supporting one another through thick and thin, now felt like a cruel joke. How could she have betrayed that trust, that bond, in such a devastating way?

“I actually don’t care about what you did, I care that you hold me in such a low regard that you went ahead and threw away our friendship like it was nothing.” Your voice is breaking with each word you say, and your chest is tightening, “If you don’t care about our friendship—fine!” you say, searching the couch for your phone and when you find it you clutch on it harshly.

“If you don’t care about our friendship then fucking fine, cause I don’t fucking care about you anymore.” you say one last time, and instead of wearing your outside shoes you dig in your feet inside the soft house slippers that you always wear when you’re at Tannyhill. You brush past Rafe and head to the door as you see Sarah collapse to the floor from the corner of your eyes.

The tears continued to flow, your heart shattering with each passing second. This was a betrayal you didn't know if you could ever forgive.

The air outside bites on your thighs and naked arms, but the chill was nothing compared to the icy grip of betrayal that had seized your heart. In that moment, you felt utterly alone, your world turned upside down by the devastating actions of the one person you thought you could always count on.

As you stormed away, the sound of Rafe's hurried footsteps reached your ears. "Please, (Y/N), wait!" he called out, his voice tinged with desperation.

You whirled around, your eyes burning with a fury that threatened to consume you. "What do you want, Rafe?" you spat, the words laced with venom.

He approached you cautiously, “look, I had no idea but if I did I would’ve—”

“No, Rafe. There’s nothing you can do. Nothing you can say that will make this right. Sarah…” Your voice broke, the mere utterance of her name like a knife to your heart. “She’s the one that broke my trust, she made her bed and now she has to lie in it. And I never wanna see her again or see anything that reminds me of her, that includes you.”

He watches you with a frown, but you continue anyways, “so please, don’t make me say things I’ll regret and just... leave me alone. I need time to process this, to figure out how I’m going to move forward without that backstabber, I can’t be around anything that reminds me of her.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if trying to hold the shattered pieces of your heart together. The tears continued to stream down your face, a testament to the depth of your pain.

“I’m so angry I could—” you end your words with a sigh as you look down at your slippers. Then you look up finding Rafe opened his mouth to speak.

Though when you’re about to hear what he has to say, the familiar surroundings of the conversation melted away, and you suddenly found yourself jolting awake, the vivid dream dissipating like mist in the morning light.

Your heart pounded, the remnants of the dream still clinging to the edges of your consciousness. The betrayal, the anger, the sense of shattered trust, it all felt so real, so visceral—because it was real. It was simply your mind replaying the most horrid memory of your entire life like a movie. A haunting echo of a reality you had faced years ago.

It’s almost 10 am when you finish getting ready for the day. Your mom is in the living room, looking like she already finished her morning run, and eating a breakfast sandwich while sipping her cafe latte.

“Good morning.” you greet, she greeted back while looking up from her phone then she let out a quiet gasp.

“Honey, you look horrible!” she commented, and set down her cup on the table while looking up at you with clear concern.

“Jesus christ, mom, what a nice thing to say to your daughter.” you sigh, walking to the kitchen as she followed you with her empty plate and cup. She set the utensils in the dishwasher. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she said, then rounded to face you as you turned to switch on the burner.

“You look pale, and pretty exhausted.”

“Didn’t sleep well.” you respond, then crack an egg on the frying pan. Your mother sighed, still looking at your side profile while you concentrated on cooking.

Your mom leaned against the counter. “I heard about the car,” she said quietly, her voice laced with worry. “Rafe told me what happened.”

You kept your focus on the frying pan, feeling a mix of emotions at the mention of his name. Also feeling like telling her that you rear-ended Sarah’s boyfriend isn’t the best idea. So you just swallow that thought of telling her. “Did he also tell you that he came over? Just for a little,”

Your mom’s eyes widened while she smiled. “I had no idea! But why did he come over?” your cheeks slightly burn at the double meaning of her words, but you ignore it and answer truthfully. “I felt bad that we couldn’t have a proper date because of the accident and stuff, so when he dropped me home I told him I’ll make him a sandwich.”

She gives you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “That was considerate of you.”

While the egg is frying, you move to toast two slices of bread. Then you turn around to face your mother, “I’m having a girls’ day with Wheezie today.”

She raises an eyebrow. “How are you getting there? Do you really feel confident with Wheezie’s driving? She hasn’t even gotten her permit yet. Or are you taking an Uber?”

You shake your head, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Rafe doesn’t trust Ubers. He said he’ll drive us everywhere.”

She nods slowly, and doesn't speak for a few moments. “He’s a bit more old-fashioned than I thought for a guy his age.” The slices of toast shoot up, and you quickly take them out in a plate. “What do you mean?”

Your mother sighs, and you could tell she’s struggling to find words to deliver her point properly. “I mean, I knew he was a gentleman. I could see it in the way he treated all those ladies he took to all those parties and events. But I just… didn’t know he was old-fashioned.”

“Are you trying to say that you get bad vibes from him and that I should back off?” you ask, unwrapping a slice of american cheese and placing it on one of the toasts, you head to the gas stove and flip your egg into it and cover the egg with the other piece of toast.

You walk to the coffee machine and flick it open while you pretend like your life doesn’t depend on your mother’s next words. You trust her more than anyone, you trust her judgment and so if she tells you to abort the mission—you will.

It will hurt you, sure, because you genuinely like Rafe. The sole mention of his name brings butterflies and fuzz to your insides. But your mother knows best.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” You relaxed a bit, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “I just meant that it’s surprising, just…” she pauses and you glance over your shoulder when the machine beeps.

“Look, if he doesn’t ask you to be his girlfriend by next month—considering he is an old fashioned man, you’re gonna want to rethink things.”

Your mom’s words hang in the air as you turn to grab your coffee, trying to process what she just said. The kitchen is filled with the warm, comforting aroma of your breakfast, but the conversation has taken a turn that leaves you feeling unsettled.

Your heart skipped a beat at her words. You knew the urgency behind your actions. Your family’s financial situation was dire, and your feelings for Rafe were as strategic as they were genuine. You needed him to propose to secure your future, but you had to play it just right.

“Okay,” you said softly, trying to keep your emotions in check. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The kitchen was quiet for a moment. Finally, your mom spoke up again. “So, have you and Wheezie planned out what you’re going to do today? Any special plans or just a casual outing?”

You considered her question, a smile forming on your lips. “We’re planning to hit the mall, maybe get our nails done…some shopping, just spending time together.”

She smiles, “that sounds nice.”

When 10:30 am hits, and the sun is bright and shiny, Wheezie calls you.

“Hi Wheezie!” you answer, trying to keep your excitement in check.

“Hey!” Wheezie’s voice comes through bubbly and enthusiastic. “I’m so ready for today! I’ve been looking forward to this all week. I found a bunch of new stores I want to check out, and I heard there’s this amazing new nail salon that just opened. Are you excited?”

You chuckle at her excitement. “Totally! I’m looking forward to it too. It’s going to be a fun day.”

“Great! I’m so glad you’re up for it,” she gushes. “I can’t wait to spend some time together. I was thinking we could start with the mall, hit up a few stores, and then get our nails done. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect,” you say, smiling as you gather your things.

“Rafe and I are gonna be over at your house in like…” you hear her voice faint as she sets her phone slightly away, to ask someone a question. “Five minutes!” she answers, and you hear the sound of a door shutting behind her.

“See you in five,” you say and she hums before ending the call.

Despite it being less than five minutes in the clock on your phone, it still feels like the time was stretching forever. You hear the distinct noise of Rafe’s truck rolling down your street, you instantly wear your sunglasses and slip out the door.

As you walk toward the curb, you catch sight of Rafe in the driver’s seat, his eyes meeting yours through the window. Your cheeks flush with a warm blush, and you quickly look away, trying to shake off the sudden rush of nerves.

Wheezie’s figure appears as she rounds the front of the truck. You meet her halfway, and she practically launches herself into a hug, which you return with a big grin. She’s practically bouncing with excitement in her cute summer outfit, and you can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.

“Wheezie, oh lord, you look super cute!” you exclaim, holding her hand and twirling her around as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Says you!” she laughs, her cheeks flushed with happiness.

Wheezie then pulls you to the back seats of Rafe’s truck, and you softly greet him when your eyes meet before she pushes you inside the car. “Hi, Rafe.”

“Hey, sunglasses.” he comments, and your cheeks burn even harsher as you take them off when you enter his car.

Rafe starts the truck and pulls out of the neighborhood. As he drives, Wheezie continues to buzz with excitement, her voice filled with enthusiasm. “I’ve been checking out all these new stores, and I heard there’s a great sale at one of them. Plus, I have been looking all over pinterest for nails inspo and I found this.”

She takes out her phone and displays some pictures to you as you lean back in the seat, letting Wheezie’s excitement wash over you. The drive to the mall feels relaxed, with Rafe navigating through the traffic. You catch occasional glances of him in the rearview mirror, his eyes meeting yours with a hint of a smile that makes your cheeks warm again.

Wheezie’s chatter is contagious, and you find yourself joining in naturally. But when the conversation starts to wane a bit, Wheezie turns to Rafe with a curious expression.

“You know, I could’ve driven us to the mall,” Wheezie says playfully. “So, what are you going to do while we shop?”

Rafe chuckles, glancing at Wheezie through the rearview mirror. “I thought that as the driver I naturally get a pass to join in?”

Wheezie gives him a skeptical look. “Really? You think you can just tag along? We’re going to be all over the place.”

Rafe raises his eyebrows. “Come on, it could be fun. I’ll even help you pick out stuff.”

Wheezie starts to protest but then hesitates. “But you’ll probably get bored. We’re going to be in and out of so many stores.”

Wheezie mulls it over for a second, then relents with a slight grin. “Alright, fine. You can come. But you’re going to help us carry our shopping bags.”

“Deal.”

As Rafe parks the truck and you both climb out, you feel a wave of excitement wash over you. Wheezie heads towards the mall entrance with boundless energy, and you follow, glancing back at Rafe with a grateful smile.

“Thanks again, Rafe,” you say as you head inside. “We’ll be sure to make it worth your while.”

“No problem, and it already is worth it,” he says, leaning in slightly. As he does, he lowers his voice just enough so only you can hear. “I’m actually doing this to secretly spend some time with you.”

Your cheeks flush, and you look down, trying to hide your shy smile. “Oh, I see…well, I’m glad you’re here then.”

Rafe’s grin widens. “Glad to hear it.”

With that, you and Wheezie head into the mall, Rafe following close behind. You follow all of Wheezie’s whims, of entering any store she wants and giving her opinions on whatever she wants.

“How do I look?” Wheezie asked, her excitement bubbling over.

She was wearing a dress that fell gracefully around her, the vibrant colors and soft fabric making her look effortlessly stylish. She struck a few poses, clearly happy with the dress.

You took in the sight, your smile widening. “Wheezie, you look amazing. That dress is perfect for you!”

Wheezie beamed, looking at herself in the mirror with satisfaction. “Really? I wasn’t sure if it was too much, but I love it.”

Just then, Rafe wandered over from where he’d been browsing nearby. “You should get it.” Wheezie rolls her eyes at his hastiness in making a decision. “This isn’t how you shop, you’re too hasty, see this is exactly why I didn’t want you tagging with us.”

You giggle then comment, “I love it too, I think cool toned colors look great on you.” Wheezie then points at you, “see? This is how you shop, you analyze everything then make a decision.”

Rafe smirked and shrugged. “Fair enough. I guess I’ll leave the final decision to you two experts.”

Wheezie gave a satisfied nod and headed back to the fitting room to change out of the dress. Rafe turned to you with a curious look. “Didn’t you find anything you like yet?”

You glanced at him with surprise, then crossed your arms over your chest. You mulled over your answer for a moment. You couldn’t exactly tell him you were being cautious with your spending due to your family’s financial situation. With your dad’s bankruptcy looming over you, every penny counted. Sure, his savings can only hold you off for a few months, but you still need to be careful about how you spend it. In case this mission didn’t work out, not with Rafe or anyone or your family’s bankruptcy was found out—you’d need to flee to The Cut. You would need to have some money saved up to buy a small house that fits your family.

“Not yet,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “I haven’t found anything that really grabs my attention.”

Rafe raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. “Aren’t you shopping for Midsummer? Seems like a perfect time to find something new.”

You shrugged slightly, attempting to keep your tone casual. “I actually already have a dress at home. I got it a few weeks ago, and it’s all altered and ready to go. So no need to buy anything else right now.”

Rafe’s expression softened, and he nodded. “Got it. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t missing out on anything.”

You appreciated his concern, even though you couldn’t share the full extent of your situation with him. “Thanks for checking. I guess I’m just being a bit picky today.”

Wheezie emerged from the fitting room, now dressed in her regular clothes. She looked at both of you with a satisfied smile. “All set. Ready to hit the next store?”

As you all moved towards the next store, you couldn’t shake the feeling of Rafe’s gaze lingering on you, and you wondered if he sensed there was more to your story than you were letting on.

When almost two hours passed, Wheezie bought a lot of things, making Rafe’s hands all busy with holding her shopping bags. She’s satisfied with her purchases, but not with any of yours—considering you didn’t buy a single thing, only a pink off shoulder blouse that Rafe paid for.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t buy anything, this was a shopping spree!” she whines, walking inside the nail salon inside the mall. You giggle and argue, “no it wasn’t, it’s a girls day. It’s not about the activity as much as it’s about the company.”

She stares at you, and tries her best to fight her widening smile that’s showing on her face. “Well, you’re so goddamn picky.”

“That, I am.” you add, then you both head to the counter and tell the girl at the counter your designs.

When you’re done showing your designs, the girl takes you to the manicure and pedicure station, from the corner of your eye you see Rafe sitting by the waiting chairs.

The nail salon wasn’t crowded, it only had you and Wheezie and two other girls.

Wheezie settled into her chair, still shaking her head in disbelief. “Seriously, just one blouse? You’re way too picky.”

You chuckled as you sat down next to her, giving a small shrug, “I know what I want, that’s all. And hey, I did get something.”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, because Rafe practically forced you to buy it.”

You glanced over at Rafe, who was now seated in the waiting area, surrounded by shopping bags. He caught your eye and gave a small charming smile. Your cheeks warmed slightly, remembering how he’d insisted on paying for the blouse despite your protests.

He’s generous, perhaps it might’ve been all show for you—but you want to believe otherwise, and that he’s your perfect match.

“Yeah, well, it’s a nice blouse,” you said, trying to steer the conversation back.

Wheezie grinned, finally letting the subject drop as she relaxed into her seat. “Fine, fine. But next time I’m the one that’s choosing for you.”

You laughed softly. “Deal.”

As the nail technicians began their work, Wheezie kept the conversation going, talking about school, friends, and the latest gossip. You chimed in here and there, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Rafe. You could feel his presence, even from across the room, and it was both comforting and nerve-wracking.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance in Rafe’s direction. He was scrolling through his phone, looking perfectly content to wait for you both. It was a small thing, but the fact that he was willing to hang around all day just to spend time with his sister—and with you by extension—made your heart flutter.

Wheezie noticed your distraction and leaned over slightly. “He’s been staring at you, you know,” she whispered, a teasing glint in her eye.

You shot her a look. “Stop it, he’s just here for you.”

She shook her head, a knowing smile on her lips. “You keep telling yourself that.”

You tried to focus on your manicure, but Wheezie’s words echoed in your mind. Part of you wondered if she was right—if maybe, just maybe, there was more to Rafe’s presence today than just being a good big brother.

As the nail technicians finished up, Wheezie admired her newly polished nails with a satisfied grin. “Perfect! I love them.”

You glanced at your own nails, the design simple but elegant. “They did a great job,” you agreed.

Wheezie nodded, then turned her attention back to you. “Alright, what’s next on the agenda? Lunch? More shopping?”

Before you could answer, Rafe stood up, making his way over to the two of you. “How’d it go?” he asked, his eyes lingering on you for just a moment longer than necessary.

“Great!” Wheezie chirped. “Look at these!” She showed off her nails, and Rafe gave an approving nod.

“Nice,” he said, then turned to you. “And you?”

You showed him your nails, he took your fingertips into his hands to observe your nails better and you try not to think too much about his intense gaze. “I’m happy with them.” you answer.

“Good,” he said, his voice softening slightly. “Glad to see you enjoyed yourself.” he lets go of your hand and you stretch your fingers and ball them into a fist as you feel your face heating.

“I vote for lunch, by the way.” Rafe tells Wheezie.

“Cute that you think you have a say in this. (Y/N)?” she asks. You eye her sadly. “I’m pretty hungry myself, so my vote’s on lunch too.”

Wheezie giggles, “I’m starving too, but I just felt like being mean to Rafe considering he’s imposing on our girls day.”

“Hey, don’t I at least make a useful bag carrier?” he argues.

When you arrived at the restaurant, the atmosphere was lively, with a soft buzz of conversation and the clinking of glasses. The waiter was polished and charming, with a warm smile that he directed at you just a little longer than necessary.

As you settle into the table, the waiter beams with an easy smile, his eyes subtly drifting to you as he places the menus on the table. “I recommend the special today,” he says, his voice smooth and confident. “But for someone with a keen sense of style, you might enjoy something a bit more refined.”

You smile back, appreciating his attentiveness but not fully engaging. “What would you suggest?”

He leans in slightly, as if sharing a secret. “For someone like you? The seared scallops with a citrus glaze. It’s light, elegant, and has just the right amount of zest.”

Rafe’s gaze sharpens slightly, though he stays quiet, watching the exchange with a faintly furrowed brow.

Before you can respond, Wheezie chimes in, completely unaware of the tension. “That does sound good! But what about the pasta? Is it actually as heavenly as they claim?”

The waiter straightens up, turning to Wheezie with a friendly nod. “The pasta is excellent, especially the carbonara. But if you’re in the mood for something with a bit of flair, I’d still recommend the scallops. Perfect for a special occasion.”

He glances back at you as he says the last part, his eyes lingering just a fraction too long. Rafe shifts in his seat, and you can practically feel the silent claim he’s staking.

“Well, I think I’ll try the carbonara,” Wheezie decides, her voice cheerful. “But I don’t know what my brother would do without you helping us out, right?” She gives a playful look to Rafe, who manages a tight smile.

“I’ll have the steak,” Rafe says, his tone clipped. Then he looks at you, his gaze softening slightly. “And for you?”

“I think I’ll go with the scallops,” you reply, handing the menu back to the waiter.

“Excellent choice,” the waiter says, his smile widening. “I’ll get that started for you.”

As he walks away, Rafe comments with a clipped tone, “seems like he’s taken a liking to you.”

Wheezie, oblivious to the undercurrent in his tone, pipes up, “I think he was just being nice! I mean, you’re really good at picking things that stand out. Maybe that’s what he meant.”

You chuckle, but Rafe’s expression stays serious. “Maybe. Or maybe he just doesn’t know when to back off.”

The rest of the meal continues with the waiter’s attentiveness, each time subtly directed more at you. He refills your drink before it’s empty, brings extra napkins without being asked, and even stops by to make sure your meal is perfect.

“You’ve really got this place figured out,” Wheezie teases, noticing the extra attention. “I bet he’s just hoping for a good tip.”

You laugh, trying to keep things light, “or maybe he’s just really good at his job.”

After the meal, when you’ve finished and the waiter brings the check, he gives you a smile. “I hope you enjoyed everything. If you ever need any more recommendations, I’m always here.”

“Thanks,” you say, keeping your tone polite but neutral.

As Rafe paid the bill, he was noticeably quicker to usher everyone out. He opened the door for you, his hand lingering on your back a moment longer than usual, as if silently reminding you of his presence.

The sky is lilac by the time you all exit the mall and head towards Rafe’s car. He’s silent, but Wheezie’s chatter fills the air enough that you almost don’t notice it.

Wheezie's voice bubbles with excitement. “Today was so much fun! We should do this more often. But seriously, you didn’t buy enough stuff. Next time, I’m forcing you to splurge.”

You chuckle, glancing at her as she hops into the back seat. “We’ll see about that. Maybe next time I’ll be the one carrying all the bags.”

Wheezie grins, buckling her seatbelt. “You better be! Oh, and did you see the way that waiter was all over you? Like, he was so obvious.”

Your cheeks warm slightly at her teasing, and you avoid Rafe’s eyes as you settle into the passenger seat. “He was just being nice. I’m sure he’s like that with everyone.”

“Yeah, right,” Wheezie scoffs, leaning forward between the seats. “I bet he’s never looked at anyone like that before. If Rafe hadn’t been there, he probably would’ve asked for your number.”

Rafe glances at Wheezie through the rearview mirror, his jaw tight. “Good thing I was there then, huh?”

Wheezie raises an eyebrow, picking up on the tension but choosing to keep things light. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But seriously, (Y/N), you could’ve at least flirted back a little. You know, just for fun.”

You laugh softly, trying to defuse the situation. “Trust me, Wheezie, I’m not that good at flirting. Plus, I was more focused on our girls’ day.”

“Yeah, right,” Wheezie scoffs. “Says Miss Popular, who had like…a ton of boyfriends in high school!”

“Oh stop it, High school was literally a lifetime ago and I’m so over it.” you protest, leaning close to playfully slap Wheezie’s arm to stop her from further teasing you.

As the car continues down the quiet street, you enjoy the relaxed conversation and the soothing background of Wheezie’s light-hearted commentary. The evening air is cool, and the glow of streetlights casts a warm hue inside the car.

When you pull up to Tannyhill, you help Wheezie take her bags inside to her room. Then she hugs you good bye and says in your ear, “I had such a great time today, next time it will be just us.”

You hum in agreement while rubbing circles in her back, “next time you’re invited to my house for a movie night.”

She breaks the hug with a gasp, “am I?!”

“Of course you are!” you answer, and she giggles in happiness.

You hug each other good-bye one last time and you run down the stairs to walk back to your home.

You’re not surprised to see Rafe waiting for you downstairs, but your heart leaps ten times by the time you approach him. You descend the stairs of the door threshold, he’s leaning casually against his truck. His eyes meet yours as you reach the bottom, and he pushes off the vehicle with a warm smile.

“Hey,” he greets, his voice gentle.

“Hey,” you reply, feeling a rush of excitement. “Thanks again for today. It really meant a lot.”

Rafe steps closer, his gaze softening as he looks at you. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I did too.”

The air between you is charged with a quiet intensity. Rafe takes a deep breath, as if gathering his thoughts. “I’ve been thinking a lot about today and how much I enjoyed spending time with you.”

You meet his eyes, your heart pounding. “Me too. It was a lot of fun.”

Rafe’s smile grows, but there’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “I know we’ve only just started spending time together, but I really like where this is going. I’d like us to be more than just friends.”

You feel a flutter of anticipation. “What do you have in mind?”

Rafe’s eyes are earnest as he takes a step closer. “I want us to be together. To make it official. I think we have something special, and I’d like to see where it can go.”

It’s as if the whole world stopped rotating when your brain processes his words. It’s what you’ve been striving for. Your heart pounds even faster than you’ve ever felt in your life before, you blink in surprise as you watch him.

“I…I want that too, I’d like it a lot.”

Rafe’s expression brightens, and he reaches out to take your hand. “Great. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

The cool evening air feels more inviting than ever, and with Rafe by your side, the future suddenly seems full of endless potential. Though even with all of that, for some reason, it feels slightly strange that he asked you to be his girlfriend when you two didn’t even have your first date yet.

You’re scared of what your mother will say about this, about him asking you this question. So, you decide that the best answer for now is not to tell her that you are now Rafe’s girlfriend when he didn’t even take you out on a first date yet.

[shivstar]

Lily Evans

T. W.- I am being critical so any fans who are super delicate for their precious Lily flower- kindly stay away.

Now.... Can anyone help me understand where does this head canon come from that Lily Potter nee Evans was a kind person..?

I mean i get it, she was smart and intelligent and beautiful but kindness???...

She was bitchy and dismissive to snape, her own bff at many instances before they broke of as friends...

When Petunia, her elder sister, expressed her dislike towards snape, what does our Mary sue does..? She goes ahead and befriends that guy who threw a tree branch at her elder sister.... Like yeah,,, I can definitely see her sweetness... She was dripping with it when she almost laughed when her (supposed) bff was abused in the open..

I could definitely see when she showed no sympathy to a kid petunia when the later must have been super upset about not having any magic when Lily was the apple of her parents' eye all her life just because she has something that she didn't do anything to get from the birth....

Also, I am neither a fan of adult Petunia nor adult Snape but both of their kid version definately saw that Lily was a guileful human being...

And yes,,, I know that women are allowed to be selfish...I don't want people harping on about misogyny....but what i hate is that she is never called out on it....

It is either she was super good Or let her be bad...women should also be allowed to be bad.... As if it is a good thing if a women is bad just because men had the permission to be bad for so many years... (like if you ask an average person what is the opposite of patriarchy, the answer would be matriarchy but when you ask an intellectual person what is the opposite of patriarchy, they will say Equality..the same way they will say the opposite of matriarchy is also equality..)

Anyways most of the scene we see are showing how childish and immature and self righteous she is....

We are only told about her greatness....( I don't count her last act as an out of ordinary act of greatness because I believe any decent mother would do the same) (most mothers in real life sleep empty stomach happily if it means their kid can be fed in their stead)

But that's what happens right? No one says bad things about a dead person. ( except if you are Snape and the dead person in question is the bane of his existence) 😅😆.. And on top of that she is (the boy who lived) Harry Potter's mum...no one is going to bad mouth her in front of him...

But was she really that sweet and kind and empathetic that we are made to believe by JKR( the woman we all collectively hate)????

[vanyzvat]

ALTR 251521

Chapter 1: No Strings Attached (You are here!)

Chapter 2: His Name

Chapter 3: Jac͟k̷͟s͟͠e̸̷͡ptį͡c̀ę͢͠y̡é

Chapter 4: Chase Brody

Jack is only mentioned briefly, and is erased from the story (Due to being retconned) as a character in Chapter 5 and onward.

Summary: Reader is a YouTuber who has lost everything (How and why is up to interpretation). As a result, they have lost their sense of fear entirely, and do not seem to care about consequences anymore.

They spend their days making content mainly focused on "debunking and exposing IRIS", taking advantage of their negative reputation for views.

They've been affected by ALTR 114209 for quite some time now, but they seem to be holding up just fine...

After forming a sort of "bond" with ALTR 114209 itself, the entity trusts them enough to get a bit more personal with them.

A lot of things are based off personal headcanons and my own interpretation of these characters! Please keep that in mind. I apologize in advance for any errors! Please let me know if there are any so I can fix them.

You were not meant to be alive today- Not according to whatever the hell IRIS was saying, at least. “Overexposure to "ALTR 114209" not only puts you in danger, but also those around you”, they said. But you paid it no mind.

You didn't have anything, or anyone, so you didn't bother taking any precautions.

Maybe that sounded pessimistic to anyone who didn't actually know you, but you didn't see it that way. It was something you had accepted long ago.

A lonely life was what you lived, but it was more fulfilling than being surrounded by people who only held you back, who betrayed you, who left you behind.

As of now, you didn't really care about your fate.

You lived your life peacefully, content with whatever route it took. If something "bad" happened, you just rolled with it, and in return, nothing seemed to ever bother you.

Worrying about the outcomes, the consequences of your actions, the future- It was just another headache to you.

That made it- Him, curious.

And just like that, you became a target to him.

"Him", who you only called as such due to his appearance. Clearly, he was no ordinary human- He wasn't human at all.

He was able to warp reality itself to his will, and you figured that to him, this world was nothing more than a game. A game of puppets, in which he was the puppet master.

Still, you saw some resemblance- Signs of humanity within him. Or maybe, you saw yourself in him.

...That probably said more about you than about him, actually. Yeah, you should probably be concerned about that.

Still, he has been around you for so long now, and you didn't even know if he had a proper name yet.

He treated you like all the other ones at first- Just another toy made to entertain him after he broke his last one. That's what you assumed, anyway.

But you didn't react- Not in the way he wanted you to.

The whispers, the images he flashed in your eyes- They didn't get you like he had hoped.

You had seen them time and time again, but they only seemed to slightly inconvenienced you when you were trying to do your everyday tasks...

To you, he came off as desperate. To him, you were infuriating.

He seemed willing to go to every length to be satisfied, to finally get the reaction he wanted out of you, and you knew that. So you took it as a personal goal to not give him that.

You were thankful to not have a job that required you to actually leave your home, otherwise, the task of having to constantly explain your situation to everyone you come across would get annoying.

You figured that those living near you were most likely affected by ALTR 114209 too, but you honestly couldn't care less.

You didn't know them, and they didn't know you. It's their problem, not yours- You've stopped feeling remorse over your "selfish decisions" and thinking. Maybe that was why you were truly free.

The more you talked to him, the closer the two of you seemed to become.

That didn't mean it didn't take any effort, though. It took you many, many tries to finally get him to even respond to you.

After hearing him whisper unimportant nonsense in your ears and catching glimpses of him at the corner of your eyes for so long, you decided to try to approach him.

And you did, in hopes of getting something in return.

At first, he would stand completely still, unmoving until he faded into obscurity.

After that, he would only eye you up and down, then tilt his head to the side, almost out of intrigue.

And after that, he would only smile.

It was such an odd thing to you- Was he really so lonely, that he would do so much for one person? One, measly little human? You weren't giving him what he wanted, and yet he continued sticking around, trying over and over.

Weirdly enough, you could even go as far as to say you found his attempts endearing.

Bold of him to assume something wasn't already wrong with you, when nothing he was doing worked. You weren't normal, you were a "weird little freak" as he would put it.

He had considered giving up on you multiple times. You gave little to no reaction, you almost instantly moved on from anything he threw at you, and you even tried communicating with him. Who does that?

You were just a waste of his time.

But when he tried to give up on you, he found himself unable to. He'd grown attached to you.

And as annoying as that was for him, he thought of an alternative solution. He gave up on trying to break you, but he didn't give up on you entirely.

You had become his safe space.

You had given him a place where he could go to whenever he needed to hide, and whenever he felt like being treated like a guest.

“A puppet master needs to rest his hands if he wants to control his puppets properly”, that was his excuse.

Today, you were sitting by your work desk, surrounded by your monitors. Your editing program was open on your main screen, with you being busy cutting up some footage for your next upload.

Your channel was... A controversial one, and rightfully so. You've made multiple videos on IRIS, and why they are "not to be trusted".

You were a bit biased, considering your one and only friend was the one thing they were trying to get rid of.

It was kind of surprising they hadn't sent people to kidnap you in your sleep yet... Maybe they did try to, actually, but were unsuccessful. You couldn't imagine why.

Maybe it was because you were one of the few people who didn't bother installing those WTCHR cameras within your home.

You lifted the coffee mug off your desk and connected it to your lips, taking a long sip.

You were about to set it back down when suddenly, an odd image flashed brightly infront of you.

The image was of an event you had experienced before, only now, something was off. Your vision was blurry, and you blinked frantically in an attempt to bring it back to how it was before.

You felt your head grow heavy.

He was here, or- nearby. You knew.

Somehow, the thought of getting to talk to him again was enough to distract you from how sick you felt in that moment.

“Where are you?”

You tried to contain your excitement, and also your need to pass out right then and there. Thankfully, your sickness only lasted for a moment.

There were the faint sounds of laughter in the distance.

You could feel the temperature of the room rapidly declining.

“I̵ am ͝he͝re,”

He suddenly whispered in your left ear.

“I͞ ām t̡herê,”

He whispered in your right.

You see two hands covering your vision. Despite already knowing he was playful, he still managed to catch you off-guard.

“I'm ͝eve̢rywhere͏.”

He spoke once more, his voice now from behind you. He moved around so quickly, it was hard to keep up.

“Yes, yes, I know.”

You took his hands off your face and turned around, and they fell back to his sides.

“You'̨ve bee̕n͜ w̡orking. Working sò, ̷s̛o ha͡rd... W̴h̶y ̴not͟ ̡take a ͜brȩa̕k to s͝pend ͘s̸o͏me ̸time ̨with m̵ę?”

You sighed...

Of course you favoured being with him over doing work, so you pushed your chair back with your legs, and sat up so you could take a look at him.

“And why should I do that?”

“Bec͟aús͝e I͜'͟m ͏t͏he o̴n̴l̀y ͢pe̢rso͜n in you͠r͟ ́l̀i͜fe̷.” He shot at you.

“You're not even a person.” You shot back, and that earned a laugh from him.

You always found yourself trying to make him laugh, and wondered if he could tell. He most likely could.

“Yo̵ur ͡w̧o̡r̢d̢s ͡c̀ut̶ ̨d͡e̷ep!”

“N͞o͠w- L̛et̶'s̶ go ̢someẁh͜ere̛ ͟more... Com̨for͏tab͠l͜é, yeah?”

Before you could even say anything, you weren't inside your recording room anymore, but in the living room.

You still needed some time to get used to him doing that- Just teleporting you around. Still, you plopped down on your couch, and he sat besides you.

“Oh, I forgot to ask. Do you want anything?”

“No. ͜Ju̴st ̵yo͡u.”

“Ah. So, why have you decided to visit?”

He placed one of his hands on top of his knee, and you can see him digging his nails into it. Ouch?

“Just̨ ̛a̴ bi̧t lo̕ǹèly.”

He gritted his teeth.

“A̛n̷d͞ upsȩt.”

You couldn't tell if he was trying to come off as condescending on purpose, or if it was a genuine thing he just did.

Either way, you thought it was stupid if he felt like he had to continuously be that way. It was like he was paranoid that eyes were on him at all times, and he would be completely ruined if he didn't always act a certain way.

Still, he was trying to open up- Which was unusual of him. He never really bothered talking about how he felt. It was always about his accomplishments, his doings, what he had been up to. He was always so proud and full of himself whenever he talked.

“Well, I need a break anyway, like you said, so I'll be available for a bit. What's wrong?”

No reply.

You shot glances at him. He's breathing slowly, as if he contemplating something. He seemed weirdly stressed.

...And suddenly, you got a nosebleed. Because of course you did.

You only noticed it had even happened after a drop of blood fell on your shirt.

“Jesus christ-”

He watches you hurriedly get up, his mouth agape. Did he not mean to do that?

You ran for the bathroom.

After you managed to get your nosebleed to stop, you quickly went back in your room to change into a new shirt before going back to him.

He was still waiting for you in the living room.

He hasn't moved an inch.

“Hey,”

You spoke, your voice sounding tired.

You were tired.

His eyes look up at you without him moving his head. Then, he looks away again. Shame was a new thing from him, huh.

“Sòr͞r̴y.͞”

“No, it's okay. I was just a bit... I don't know- Surprised? I thought you gave people nosebleeds and whatnot on purpose.”

He chuckled.

“S͏ome͘t̶i͏me̢s̀.”

You sat down besides him again.

“...Let's try this one more time then?”

You went straight to the point, and his smile faded. He was the one who had told you something was up in the first place, why would he be trying to avoid it now?

“What's wrong?”

You asked, and he answered your question with a question of his own- One you would've never expected to come from someone like him.

“Ha͟ve͟ ̶you e̕v̧e̡r be̷e͘n ͡be͟tr͏a̢y̴ed̛?”

[lover-of-midnight]

Bungou Stray Dogs Masterlist

Together: “Dazai?” The surprise was clear to hear. Chuuya tilted his head slightly as he looked at Dazai, the man was back in his normal clothes. Ao3 Link

You have no idea: “And the next I was gone.” Dazai tilted Chuuya’s head slightly upward. His eyes were bright as his finger traced against Chuuya’s cheek. “I know I hurt you and that I never wanted to hurt you. I listened to every message you sent me. It was the only thing that kept me going. Your messages and photos.” Dazai could see the pain in Chuuya’s eyes. Ao3 Link

Misery loves company: When the other boy finally settled again, Chuuya realised with a groan he didn’t want to leave his friend alone to deal with the nightmares on his own. His eyes racked over his room, a groan slipping through his lips when he realised that the idea passed through again. Ao3 Link

I can't love myself how I love you: “I love you and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe even when it means hurting you in the process.” Dazai forced himself to stand up, his energy completely gone. He whipped at his eyes wishing he could hide the tear tracks. Ao3 Link

Fighting your own head. The day passed slowly as his mind just tried to dragged him down even further. He ignored the calls coming in, eventually the pounding against his door. He knows in the end that he would have to face the music, but now isn’t the time. Ao3 Link

I don't know... “What happened love.” Chuuya tried to keep his voice as calm as he could. Dazai’s eyes darted around, everything felt too much. His breathing felt like it caught in his chest and he didn’t want to move. Ao3 Link

Change of Faith: “Oda…” Dazai’s voice broke slightly as he slid down next to the body. Blood clung to his hand and he just wanted to wipe it away. The silence was thick in the room. Ao3 Link

You are not the man, I thought. “The truth Dazai.” Chuuya took a step closer to the younger man, everything in him screaming, raging at the world. Ao3 Link

It was a needed choice. “I can’t promise you forever Chibi. But I can be here for now, for as long as you will have me.” Dazai kept his voice even. Both of them know that there is a high change that he will try to kill himself again. But he could be here in the present just be here for Chuuya. Ao3 Link

It is time. His heart almost stopped. Is this how love feels? His eyes went to his wrist, but it was hidden beneath his jacket. The time was almost up when he last checked. Ao3 Link

What if: You were in a position where one change and your life would be over Dazai? One change in the force and we won’t have you here any longer. And yeah it is selfish that I don’t want you dead even though I know that each day is a suffering for you. Ao3 Link

A little bit out of the ordinary. Everything just falls apart, they are good Chibi.” Dazai’s voice was soft as he admitted to his downfall. He should have tried to get more intelligence, should have seen that something was missing when no one could tell him a thing about them. Ao3 Link

Nowhere to run: “It doesn’t matter. I have it handled.” Dazai just wanted to walk out. This was too much. It felt like he was being attacked from inside and outside. He didn’t know what to make of these people. Ao3 Link

Every Whumpee's Needs: He closed his eyes again as another shiver passed through his body. It felt like he was being boiled alive. He knows that he needs to do something about it, but all he managed to do was lay still. Hoping that it won’t trigger another vomiting spell. Ao3 Link

Everything hurts and I'm dying: Wondering why on Earth Dazai didn’t just come to him before he did something stupid. Why did he think jumping from a bridge would change anything? Now he only was full of bruises and a head injury. Ao3 Link

The very noisy night: “Something is bothering you.” A mere fact, nothing to be questioned. In the years they have been together Chuuya managed to learn some of the subtler ways Dazai would show he was at his end. And for some reason tonight seemed like such a night. Ao3 Link

Can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs: When he placed his hands over Dazai’s eyes to shield him from the knife, coming down, piercing his heart. Ao3 Link

Let's break the ice: Dazai forced himself back upright, brown met blue and for a second he wished that he could just let everything go. Just for a second, to just go splat on the road below. Ao3 Link

Enough is enough: “Dazai?” There wasn’t much hope to get a response. His hand was warm against the coldness of Dazai’s cheek. Ao3 Link

Famous last words: “Come, you need to see a doctor.” He made sure to keep his voice as calm as he could. Knowing that the last time he had to take Dazai near a doctor the boy freaked out. The muscles tensing as Dazai tried to pull away, made Chuuya tighten his hands. Ao3 Link

I'm Sorry: This was the only why. There is no more place for him in the Port Mafia. And he couldn’t ask Chuuya to a choice between himself and his family. It would be wrong to do. Plus, he was relatively sure that Chuuya would have chosen to stay. Ao3 Link

Nightmares: Chuuya just held him waiting for the tremors to pass. Waiting for his breath to even out. Wondering if tonight he would finally tell him what was going on in his mind or if it would be like always. A wall between them. Ao3 Link

I'm Done: His hands balled up slightly before he turned to face Dazai. “I love you more than you know and ever will know. Why can’t it be the same for you? Why is it necessary for you to string me along? All I am good for is those plans of yours. Knowing I will come to no matter the situation.” Chuuya could feel tears burning his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. Ao3 Link

My Pet: “We are in the Mafia Chibi, and my orders are absolute.” Dazai knows by now he shouldn’t test his Chibi’s patience but at the same time, he just couldn’t help it. It was so much fun. Ao3 Link

My sweet little omega: He grinned slightly as he nuzzled into Dazai’s neck. Just breathing deeply for a second. His sweet little omega was already wrecked, and they barely started the fun. Ao3 Link

Just listen: A pained whimper filled the air as he made his way to his room, his hands shaking as he reached for his blades. Just forget everything for a short while. Tomorrow he will handle the rest, but for now, he didn’t have the energy to deal anymore. Ao3 Link

How long until you break: “You realise that hurting him will make the boss pissed off with you. He wants him with a reason, do not mess this up.” In the short time, she worked as a medic here, she honestly wondered why she was still trying some days. It was just a bunch of manic people around her. Always going out of their way to hurt the people they get. Ao3 Link

Please spell it out for me. “Do I have to spell it out for you Dazai?” Chuuya could feel tears burning his eyes. “I love you! I have fallen in love with you the bloody second, I saw you.” He turned away from Dazai. A choking sob left his lips. Ao3 Link

I'm a Failure: Dazai tried to ignore the pain as he curled up behind the futon. He could hear the rain pattering against the metal making him shiver. It was all his fault. He should have known that there was something more to the new organisation. Ao3 Link

Out of my mind: Another whimper as Dazai tried to press against Chuuya. Hoping for more but at the same time, knew that he would need to beg if he wanted more tonight. Ao3 Link

Engraved into my mind: Hoping that he would tell him to stop speaking, that it was enough. Because he was quite sure he wouldn’t be able to stop now. It felt like someone finally pulled the plug. All the water needs to be realised. Ao3 Link

Say that again: He forced his hands to still as he kissed Dazai’s cheek. “You should have come to me. You don’t need to deal with this alone. I love you.” The last part was said so softly Chuuya was sure that at least Dazai wouldn’t have heard that part. Ao3 Link

Confusion at midnight: Cloudy brown eyes looked at Chuuya. “I don’t know. Everything is hot and my skin is itchy, and I don’t like this, Chu.” Another step closer “It is as if something is burning in my stomach and my head feels fuzzy.” He could feel tears burning his eyes, wanting something but having no idea what. Ao3 Link

Holding Hands: While in a train station, Dazai feels slightly jealous of the people. Chuuya to the rescue. Ao3 Link

Energy Fairy: “Osamu what in the seven hells are you looking for? And stop pulling files out please?” The last part came out slightly high as Chuuya forced the cabinet closed.Brown eyes locked with blue as Dazai pouted. “But how am I supposed to get the energy fairy?” His voice was low and tired. Ao3 Link

Sometimes we only need comfort: Chuuya tightened his arms slightly, wishing he could take the pain away. “Try and sleep. We will figure this out.” His voice was low as he ran his fingers against Dazai’s back. Maybe it would be best if someone takes out Mori… Ao3 Link

Atelphobia: Chuuya bit the inside of his lip as he rocked slightly back and forth. He forced the negative energy from his mind. It doesn’t matter if Dazai comes or not. It doesn’t. Ao3 Link

Please find me: He could almost feel his heart breaking when a trembling body clashed with his. A slight thud as he pulled the omega properly onto his lap. “It is all right. You are coming back home.” Chuuya whispered the words. The urge to kill everyone involved was almost overwhelming him. In the end, he just nodded at his men. Ao3 Link

And there was only one bed. “Mackerel, can I get the bandages off you?” Chuuya kept his voice low. He knew how Dazai could get for his bandages. Scared of showing what is going on in his skin. To show the world what he managed to survive so far. Ao3 Link

Don't be so stubborn. Just try it! “Please Dazai, I tried a new receipt the texture will be different I promise.” Anything to get him to eat slightly more vegetables. Why does it sometimes feel like he was dealing with a toddler? Ao3 Link

What did you do? “Yeah.” Chuuya sighed slightly. “I don’t know why you did what you did. But it worked. You managed to save my life and keep other people safe. It will take a while before I get over what you said, but I will.” Chuuya leaned slightly forward placing a kiss on Dazai’s head. Ao3 Link

Clenched Fists: Dazai closed his eyes for a second before he leaned down placing a kiss on Chuuya’s head. “Go to sleep Chu. We will discuss this when you are better.” He ran his fingers through the sweat-soaked hair, as he waited for Chuuya to fall asleep. Ao3 Link

What? Did you enjoy it? Chuuya was silent as he watched Dazai chasing the high. He could see the moment that he was almost there, the stuttering of his hips, the way his chest was heaving. He pulled his hand away as Dazai looked at him with tears in his eyes. Ao3 Link

This is wrong: “There was no other choice Dazai. You know it as well as I do.” Chuuya could feel the anger coursing through his veins. “Do not look at me like you care. It is my life, if I died out there, it would have been the…” Before he could continue Dazai pressed his mouth against Chuuya’s. Ao3 Link

You don't need to hide.“You don’t need to hide anymore. I know you want to return to your container, but you don’t need to hide anymore.” Chuuya wished he could shake the words into Dazai’s head, but he knows at the end of the day it would do nothing. Ao3 Link

Get on your knees: “Go to sleep, we will speak tomorrow,” Chuuya’s voice was warm as he gently ran his fingers through the matted locks. It wasn’t long before Dazai was out for the count. Chuuya placed a kiss on Dazai’s head before he also settled down for the night. His arm was securely around Dazai’s waist. Ao3 Link

Where do you want to go? Dazai was silent for a few seconds. “All right, I will try.” He closed his eyes as he tried to ignore the despair slowly falling over him. Just trust Chuuya, he normally knows better when it comes to emotions. Ao3 Link

I love you, okay! “It is too much Chu. Why can’t anyone understand? All it is, is empty, always empty. It is like the void is living inside me. Slowly devouring me from the inside out. And I just want it to end!” He breath out the last word almost like a dragon. Ao3 Link

But now the room is spinning while I am trying to fill in all the gaps: “Just sleep, everything will be better in the morning.” He whispered the words into the quiet of the room Ao3 Link

I'll call out your name, but you won't call back Dazai forced his eyes open, everything felt heavy. Darkness was trying to drag him back down, but he forced himself to sit upright. A groan slipped passed his lips as he tried to figure out where he was.

“Dazai lay down.” The voice was calm as a hand pushed him down. A panic whine slipped passed his lips as he fought against the hands, but his body didn’t want to work with him. It felt like he was back home, all those years ago. Ao3 Link

Like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon: “Alright, hey it is okay Osamu, it is okay. You are safe. I am here for you if you want to speak.” Chuuya pulled Dazai back onto his lap, as he hummed hoping to calm him down, knowing that tonight was not the night he would get an answer. Ao3 Link

I see the danger, it is written in your eyes: “It was a lot, he is scared and confused. But with proper support, he will find his way again Mori-san.” Her words were light as she gave him a smile. “The fact that he also already woke up, with those kinds of injuries. He is fighting.” Ao3 Link

You better pray I don't get up this time around: He forced himself to turn around and look at the building, he grimaced slightly as he saw the damage, it was plain as day that it was a miracle that he survived it. Ao3 Link

Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart: When he was certain that Dazai was asleep, he forced himself upright, his legs trembled slightly as he made his way out of Mori Corp. There was a sick sense that some of the punishments should have been his. His eyes softened slightly as he looked at the trembling boy in his arms, looking younger than he was. Who would have thought that Dazai cared that much? Ao3 Link

I paced around for hours on empty, I jumped at the slightest of sounds: His hand trembled as he gently ran it through Dazai’s hair. How on earth did he expect to keep the abuse hidden for so long? Of course, someone would have noticed. There was only so much before people would start to speak about it. Ao3 Link

I've got soul, but I am not a soldier: Hands pushed into his chest, soft whimpers reaching his ears. He gently licked the fang marks as he pulled away. Dazai tried to speak but all that came out was a garble as he lost consciousness. Chuuya needed to do the last part. Ao3 Link

Learning everything ain't what it seems: “Mori would have gone after you, I was starting to go against him, that is why Oda died. And I knew that he would have gone after you next, anything to keep me in line.” Dazai hissed the last part out, hoping that Chuuya would understand. Ao3 Link

Can't you see that you're lost without me? Chuuya closed his eyes as he lay down. He glanced towards Dazai, who sat down next to him. His voice trembled slightly. “You left, and you promised that you would never leave, but still you were gone. When I woke up today and you weren’t there…” He trailed off. Ao3 Link

All the lights going dark and my hope's destroyed: The days passed slowly as Chuuya lost his hope, that anyone would want him back, slowly losing the will to live, he ignored his captures, ignored the food and water they bought him. Just wasting away. Ao3 Link

I haven't slept in days, but who's counting? Dazai just gave him another glare, knowing that there isn’t much that helps with sleep, his brain was simply going too fast every moment, and the few hours of sleep he got, meant that sleep would even be worse for a day or two. Ao3 Link

It comes and goes like the strength in your bones: Allowing the tiredness to start to drag him under, only for a warm hand to gently shake him. “Before you sleep, drink.” Pills were pressed into his hand, making him groan as he swallowed it dry. His eyes slipped shut as darkness finally claimed him. Ao3 Link

Feed me poison, fill me, 'till I drown: He moved forward as a hand was placed on his shoulder, pulling him backwards. Panik clouded his mind as he could only blankly stare at the nurse. Someone had pulled Dazai from his arms, but he wanted to follow behind. Ao3 Link

I don't need you to help me, I can handle things myself: Dazai scrunched up his face slightly before he spoke. “Because death is the only way out. I am tired, no one understands. Mori just wants and wants and wants, and I can’t give anymore. Always wonder when he is going to go after you or Oda and Ango. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Do you have any idea how tiresome it is?” Ao3 Link

Would you lie with me and just forget the world? “I never told you that, and I showed it even worse. And I am sorry. Please, just get through this, when everything is done I promise I will make it up to you.” Dazai closed his eyes, just holding Chuuya’s hand. Ao3 Link

You're the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest. Dazai glared slightly at Chuuya. His eyes were almost red. “Leave me alone.” He almost hissed the words, as he pulled the blanket around his shoulders. Ao3 Link

You're the lump in my throat and the lump in my chest: Dazai forced himself to breathe through his nose. The pain will ebb away again. He needs to keep his focus. He glared at the man in front of him, he wanted to push him away, but with his hands tied, well that was difficult. Ao3 Link

I'll take one final step, all you have to do is make me: Dazai was silent as he clutched at his head. He wanted to force himself upright, but everything was spinning around him, making him feel dizzy. He could hear Chuuya moving around him, but he couldn’t find the strength to answer him. Ao3 Link

People don't change, time does. Chuuya shrugged slightly as he turned to walk out, “It has nothing to do with you, don’t try.” There was a tiredness in his voice that pierced through Dazai’s heart. “It does Chibi…” Dazai trailed off, forcing himself to continue. “He is under my protection.” Ao3 Link

See the chains around my feet: A soft groan slipped through Chuuya’s lips, he could feel something pressing him down when he tried to push himself upright. Why does he feel like a living death? He tried to rack his mind to find what he did before he blacked out, but everything was blank. Ao3 Link

They never saw us coming until they hit the floor. When they finally made their way back to the penthouse, Dazai easily pulled Chuuya onto his lap just holding him close. “What’s bothering you?” His voice was low as he placed a kiss against Chuuya’s neck making him shiver. Ao3 Link

It's gonna get me by the end of the night: Dazai deepened his breath slightly as he pulled the blanket tighter around his body. He hated this, his mind playing tricks on him and he knew that this was all this was. For a moment he wished that he could have a normal life. Ao3 Link

I've got a head full of chemicals, mouth full of ridicule: Dazai grimaced slightly, it felt like someone stabbed him in the heart repeatedly at the thought. He bit his lip slightly as he gathered a few personal things. Making sure that everything is in place. Ao3 Link

You're not delivering a perfect body to the grave: His voice was small as he forced himself to speak. “Mom, once forced me outside while it was storming as a punishment, I thought I was going to die that night.” His hands tightened in the blanket, his eyes blank. Ao3 Link

Sometimes I get so tired, I don't even know myself. Chuuya, is overtired, Dazai to the rescue. Ao3 Link

You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleeding. He couldn’t see the scars, the reason that Dazai wished he could die, the only thing he could control, yet it also slipped from his control. Ao3 Link

It's okay to say I am not okay: “Do you think that Chuuya might have wanted to help because he cares about you?” Oda took a sip from his tea as he saw Dazai thinking. Ao3 Link

It is just a storm: “Why? You hate me on a good day, why would you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Dazai chokes slightly on the last part. He had known for a while that he had a major crush on the alpha. But there was nothing that he could do about that. Ao3 Link

Alone: The knife easily sank into his flesh, Dazai could feel his heart rate picking up as he pulled the knife out again before he bought it down again. A bitter laugh slipped through his lips as the man started to scream, trying to pull away. Ao3 Link

When your best isn't enough: It took everything in him not to go after the brat immediately, but to wait his time. Watching from afar as the boy climbed the rank in the Mafia, earning mockery as a Demon Prodigy, to him leaving for the ADA. Ao3 Link

Just a little bit of kindness: A hand clenched suddenly around his arm, and his eyes went to the stage. He could feel the anger almost boiling over when he saw the teen. It was clear that he was injured, the only one not in lingerie. But rather long sleeves, his tail wrapped around his leg. Ao3 Link

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Bnha 391 and General Small Comment;

Ok so i didnt like a lot of things with bnha lately for most of the things, especially how story deal with its villains. Yeah, it is not over but until now, i dont think its good. Story focus on power more than it focus on actually adressing the flaws of society author build up at first place.

- Deku hasnt speak to Shigaraki yet but until this point, the way he dealt with villains, his interaction with them isnt good enough. like, you cant change things by keep saying everthing black and white or saying there is hope. I think story didnt give enough  character development for Izuku to come that point so at least, i hope, Shiggy will do something about it.

- Todoroki family plot bad. It was always bad because of how much story focus on Endeavour’s bad written redemption arc, he literally choose everyone over Touya since beginning until the end, i hate how he casually hugs him and speak over him when Touya was talking. Guy kinda feels guilty, yeah, but he express that ‘guilt’ in a very selfish way that it drives me nuts. Literally your typical abuser. I cant believe of all people, Endeavour has to be the one who close to him, not Rei, not his siblings but him...And with other family members too. I think some people already talked about this, that main problem with Todoroki family is that they keep blaming him for speaking up and once again, if this is the final arc for Todo family, Fuyumi and Natsuo’s speech sucks.

With Shouto, i think the problem is that bnha is a story about saving people’s hearth, not psychically defeating them and as readers, we should witness that change between Shouto and Dabi, that beginning point (like ‘your power’ scene for Shouto) didnt happen yet. And i wonder, do anyone remember um fake heroes plot? Endeavour’s bad hero career with how violently he attacks towards criminal from Twice’s speech chapter or how he almost killed Koichi in vigilantes? Dabi’s speech? What is the point of all of these things, if its not gonna be adressed properly, especially between Dabi and Shouto since they are villain and hero. I know its not over but until now, it was bad. To be honest, only thing i am satisfied with Todo family plot is Rei and Touya interaction. It looks like the only one its completed for final arc. Because she literally choose Touya over millions to save him, no justification, no victim blaming, no anger, just a worried mother, calling her son’s name and tells that she is sorry, and thats it. She doesnt make whole speech and self pity, unlike Bakugou and Endeavour. See the difference. And if author wasnt so obsessed with Endeavour’s nonexistent redemption arc, i am sure that we would get more of Rei. She did what she could do best for Touya as civillian, ordinary person. This part of story is fine but others? Bad.

- Allmight and others too. I dont want to talk about every detail because you know the summary, flaws of society isnt adressed properly/at all and story focus on power dynamic and etc.

But for at least this chapter, i would like to say, i kinda like this one. Uraraka and Toga development, interaction. At first, Uraraka would brush off everything Toga said and does, which makes sense since she was from other side. And Toga would talk your typical villain but after that Toga crying scene, Uraraka seems to be able empathize with her than many other heroes ever could for villains. The way she just accepted that she was wrong about her, that she changed her mind, she also knows that she is in pain and she says sorry, she is not angry, she is not rejecting her, she tells her that she found her. I mean, look at her face when she speaks to her. Like, great start, Uraraka. I think there are still many issues with story and how fast everything happens but i really like this one. It feels like an actually hero speech who geniuely wants to empathize with villain, completely stranger, just a girl who is like her. Unlike before, she doesnt talk like a robot with ‘you did commit crime so everything happens to you, you deserve it’ type of attitude. No. This time Uraraka is different.

At least for this chapter, for now, Uraraka Ochaco is rising.

Edit; I made it Clear that i write this based on my personal opinion. Literally, every second of this post is "i think". Certain people use this to insult and harass me. It just shows what kind of people they are. If you disagree, make your own post without mentioning/making me involve in any way. Of course, if you want to debate about series with respect, i dont mind. I dont think being kind is too hard.

[cto10121]

Finally bought a copy of Midnight Sun!!! Or as I like to call it, Twilight’s subtext as actual text because people suck at reading comprehension. Honestly, with every reread the book gets better and better. And of course, I have des notes (Part 1, since this tome is long):

I love how Edward is so obviously interested in her even before he smells her scent. That ~strange urge to step between her and Jessica’s vicious thoughts…buddy

Also love me some Arrogant!Edward, especially at the beginning—the Mr. Darcy vibes truly are impeccable, and it makes total sense for this narrative. The stupid clowns and anti fans hate it, but it is absolutely essential to his character arc towards humility/self-acceptance. It’s called character development, bitch

Edward: “She is an ordinary human girl, nothing special, she isn’t even pretty” Also Edward literally the second time he sees her: “She has oddly deep brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate, but with the clarity of strong tea, with flecks of caramel and agate green and now she is tossing her luscious mahogany hair at me and now her delicious scent is wafting like delicate perfume—” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Clowns: “Edward doesn’t like Bella for herself, he just likes her scent!!!1!” Edward: *absolutely REFUSES to go into detail about her scent, just its effect on him* Yeah. Strange, but revealing. In Twilight he does say it’s like freesia, and Laurent says it’s “floral, somehow.” The metaphor for sexual desire and even predation is there, suggested by Edward’s obvious romantic interest, but narrative-wise Meyer firmly separates the two and even has Edward conquer his own selfish instincts in order to be together with Bella. In that framing, Bella’s scent becomes another obstacle to overcome to reach true romance, and that fact alone makes Twilight better than 90% of romances lol

I don’t think I mentioned this before, but Meyer’s Spanish is surprisingly legit so far. I’ve literally read worse Spanish by Chicano and Latino writers, without accent marks and everything. Although I must say, they always have these Spanish high school teachers insist on having the whole class speak Spanish. It’s such a cliché, but a charming one, I guess

Edward hearing about Emmett’s cantante encounter and thinking, “Yeah, no, this is worse” is such an unintended flex, imo. Homeboy really was dealing with the worst vampire thirst ever and he actually succeeded in overcoming that enough to dick her down. Kudos

Edward thinking about Bella on her wedding day to some stranger and feeling pained—boy, it’s been three days!!!!! Birds of a feather flocking together

“A word I’d never said before in the presence of a lady—” This is the line that made the antis go crazy????? That a vampire from 1901 and frozen in that state would speak and act like he was from 1901????? Antis are so damn stupid

“I liked that I’d finally guessed right. That I was beginning to understand her.” Honestly? So far Edward has been very good at reading her body language and her feelings, almost from the get-go. Some specifics and quirks elude him, and he almost completely misses her attraction to him, but almost everything Bella is feeling from Twilight he also picks up on. So the Team Jacob fans that insist that Jacob is better because he is a better reader of Bella may not have that much of an argument after all

“Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. Like an obsessed vampire stalker.” And like Bella, Edward is iconically hilarious in the best way possible. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Aaaaaand Alice has her Vampire!Bella vision and everyone is 😮 at Edward falling for Bella. Still wish that Edward would be in denial of his obvious feelings for a while longer, since it’s so much fun

Not antis complaining about how Midnight Sun’s added scenes on Bella’s selflessness and her friends being awful were ~retcons by Meyer…bitch, in Twilight it was clear as day her friends were fake. Normal, but fake. Angela excepted. And Bella’s kindness/self-abnegation was more than established, although there it was focused mostly on Bella’s shielding Angela from Jessica’s prying and setting up Mike/Jessica.

“Obviously the meteorite was just a metaphor for all the unlikely things that could go wrong.” Obviously, but your antis have never been the sharpest tools in the shed in terms of reading comprehension, Edward, so don’t even bother—oh, you meant yourself. Meyer definitely is doing some meta here.

“Edward…Stay.” God, I do want to see this scene dramatized in the TV show in an Edward POV flashback episode. Imagine Edward wrestling silently with his self-loathing, about to leave her room and possibly Bella for good, and then Bella speaks his name. He whirls around, shocked, and the way it’s framed the viewer almost believes she has woken up, but Bella is obviously sleeping. And telling him to stay. And Edward being all 😮 🥺 💗Beautiful…except the TV show would absolutely ruin it somehow

Edward not realizing that Bella is (obviously) turned on by him is just perfection. He is as oblivious to his own beauty as Bella is to hers and it makes for a great parallel. Only difference is he does contemplate whether Bella is attracted to him a little

“Staring at her mouth made me feel strange.” I swear, Edward is so much more naïve than Bella about anything romance. Homegirl owned her crush and acquitted herself very well all things considered. Meanwhile Edward is emotionally flailing like an angsty Kermit every single page, doing a “I wonder why?” every few seconds

“Sometimes, when he stares at me, I’d swear he’s thinking of killing me. Freak. Mike wasn’t entirely unperceptive.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“She wore a deep blue blouse today” It has begun

“Bella winked?” Yes, Edward, and so did you, you fucking V tease. Both of you wink at people because you two are birds of a feather, flocking together. Two dorks, both alike in love clownery

Edward 🤝 Juliet —> “Soft perfection” & “Dear perfection” Don’t think I didn’t notice, Meyer!!!

The flirtatious waitress!!! Am enjoying her so much more this time around. Usually I like Bella’s Port Angeles chapter than Edward’s, but this shit reads great in both POVs

“Aside from my worries about her sanity, I began to feel a swelling of hope” 10/10 sentence, no notes

“She dreamed of me. I wanted to dream of her.”🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 “I could not dream of her. She should not dream of me.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Edward empathizing with Angela and wanting to pair her up with Ben (and succeeding!) warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart. It’s so great that his 100-year-old cold haughty shell is finally melting and giving way to the 17-year-old simp he is

“Running a house is time-consuming, and I usually had a part-time job, too, not to mention school—” Fuck anyone who hates Bella because she is ~boring, fuck them to hell and back. Homegirl was run so ragged she didn’t have time for herself, much less date. It’s a wonder she had hobbies to begin with (Edit: Aaaaaand the reason Bella hates birthdays is because her mother was shitty at giving her what she wanted and she had to pretend to like them. The fuck)

But on that note, I’m really loving all of Bella’s answers to Edward’s questions, almost easily the best part of the book, and canon-compliant with Twilight. Bella herself comes out as much more winsome, bright, and quirky through Edward’s perspective, traits that were less emphasized in her POV for obvious reasons. Even the stupid antis acknowledge that

Clown Antis: “Edward ~forced her to leave everything she wanted!1!1!!1” Literally Edward: “I realized how important it was for me to know her plans for the future. So I didn’t derail them. So I could shape this unlikely future into the best version to suit her.”

Bella being initially alarmed at Edward in the sun is possibly a retcon. In Twilight she did say the sight was “shocking,” but I thought it was mostly in a romantic way. But it does make sense lore-wise that she would think of him on fire at first. This is Edward’s POV, so he could just be assuming that is Bella’s alarm. Still, I wonder why Bella would skip over the extended “You aren’t repulsed by my flagrant lack of humanity?” exchange. I guess she took it for granted she wasn’t afraid????

Edward counting insects in the meadow etc. is just so…not really hilarious in context. The parodies made it seem like he was some neurodivergent nerd. In actual context he was just trying to distract himself from Bella’s scent.

“Better to see myself as the whole, bad and good, and work with the reality of it.” So mature and much better than anything else in this genre. Edward is growing and learning

“Regardless, I have better reflexes.” You’re (still) a whore, Edward. Nice to know that hasn’t changed.

[tinyinvadr]

Here we go, the final chapter of Psychoborrower (I actually finished a fic yay)! It’s kind of short, but just wrapping things up. I might do a few one shots about Flint’s first week at camp, and then next will be Rhombus of Ruin!

Psychoborrower

Epilogue

I was up early the next morning. Or, early compared to Sasha, at least. He was so tired, he didn’t even make it to bed. He just fell asleep right at his workbench. Though, that wasn’t too out of the ordinary for him. Sometimes I think he works too hard.

Raz showed up in the lab shortly after I woke up. He asked if I wanted to hang out around camp before he had to leave, so of course, I took him up on it. After all, there was a good chance I’d never see him or this place ever again.

After we left the lab, he took notice of my change in mood.

“So… have you decided what you’re gonna do?”

I sighed. “Yeah… Sasha said to think it over and weigh all my options, but I’m really not sure what other choice I have. I’m a monster if I don’t go home and tell them what happened, but… I don’t…”

“You don’t wanna go back there.”

I nodded. It felt horrible and selfish to admit it, but my mind was completely at odds with itself. I didn’t want to hurt my family, but I also didn’t want to sacrifice my happiness and sense of self just to please them.

We both went quiet. Raz didn’t have any ideas, so we silently accepted that this was the way things had to be. I hated to bring his mood down, especially since he was looking forward to having one final fun day at camp without any evil plot to get in the way. And I wanted that, too, but it was hard to even think about having fun when I knew it would all be over in a matter of hours.

My train of thought was disrupted by a sudden blinding flash of light.

“Ugh, the faces you guys made look weird! This can’t go in my scrapbook!”

Lili snuck up on us with a Polaroid camera and took our picture. Why she was expecting it to look good when we were both clearly depressed and she caught us off guard with that flash, I have no idea.

Raz sighed. “We’re not really in the mood right now, Lili.”

“Aw, come on, please? Everyone’s gonna be in it, and you guys are basically the heroes of camp!”

She went on to explain how she always made a scrapbook for her dad every year, since he was the Grand Head of the Psychonauts and liked to keep up to date on the progress of the new generation of psychics.

Then, an idea hit me.

“Lili, this might be a lot to ask since you’re already making one, but could you help me make my own scrapbook to send home to my parents? Maybe if they see how happy I am here, they’ll understand why being psychic is so important to me.”

“Sure! I bet you can convince them if we get everyone at camp involved. We’re all rooting for you, Flint.”

Just as she said that, Bobby passed by behind her.

“I’m not!”

“Shut up, Bobby!” We both snapped.

So, the rest of the day was spent snapping pictures with everyone, and then cutting and pasting them together. Probably the only normal summer camp activity to ever occur at Whispering Rock, and arts and crafts wasn’t even on the schedule.

I was hesitant to interact with the other campers at first, but it was… nice. It finally felt like I was a regular kid for once. Of course, I was right about them having a lot of questions, but Raz and Lili were great about moving things along and keeping me from getting too overwhelmed by all the attention.

We were almost finished with the scrapbook when all of the campers were called to the reception area. Coach Oleander wanted to publicly apologize to everyone and thank Raz and I for setting him straight. I had confidence he could turn things around for himself. At the end of the day, he really wasn’t a bad person at heart.

He invited us to join him on the stage, and Ford took over from there.

“I would like to take a moment to recognize the accomplishments of two very promising students here. Against all odds, they were able to put aside their differences, face their fears, and use their powers for the greater good. Here at Whispering Rock, we teach our students to strengthen their minds. But the true marker of a Psychonaut in the making is strength of heart. You both have gone above and beyond these past few days, and it’s for that reason that I’d like to ask you something we don’t normally offer to campers…”

I held my breath. I knew what was coming, but I was still in disbelief. Then, any remaining doubts I had left disappeared when Ford held out two uniforms, one of which was perfectly scaled to fit me.

“Would you like to join the Psychonauts?”

Neither of us could contain our excitement. We were both practically jumping up and down, and it’s a miracle I didn’t end up falling off Raz’s shoulder. Everything I’d been working towards finally paid off, and it felt better than I ever could’ve imagined.

Not only was I finally being recognized as a true Psychonaut, but I felt like I finally found my place in the world. I had friends, a family, even, and they accepted every part of me. The borrower me, the psychic me, and just me in general. I had nothing left to hide, and that feeling is something I will never let myself forget.

“In that case, let’s all welcome the newest members of the Psychonauts, Razputin Aquato and Flint Loveseat!”

All of the campers clapped and cheered for us, but underneath it, I noticed Raz chuckle.

“Loveseat?”

“You’re one to talk, Aquato.”

Later that day, Lili finished up the scrapbook, and left me to look through it with Phoebe. Given the fact that I was born and raised in the walls of her house and I hitched a ride with her to camp, I figured it would make sense for her to bring the book home to my parents.

“Wow… so you’re saying we basically grew up together and I didn’t even know it? That makes you like my little brother!”

“Ah, big brother. I’m older.”

“Yeah, but you’re littler.”

“Fine, fine. Just… I don’t know how my parents are gonna react. When you’re showing them the scrapbook, make sure to keep calm, and take things at their pace, okay?”

“Of course, Flint. I really hope this works out.”

Suddenly, Sasha and Milla levitated over to us.

“Flint, darling, do you have a moment?”

I nodded, climbing onto Milla’s hand. Phoebe waved goodbye, taking the book and running off to the camp bus stop.

Sasha paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. I could tell this was serious.

“Grand Head Zanotto has been kidnapped. We’re leaving to locate and rescue him as soon as possible.”

“Oh no… Where do you think he is? Did you tell Lili yet? What should I do while you’re gone? What if-”

“We were going to ask you to come with us. You are a Psychonaut now, after all, and you and Razputin did just save all of our brains.”

“Of course, it’s perfectly alright if you need a break. We just wanted to offer.” Milla added.

This was it. My first official mission. Came up a lot sooner than I thought it would, but I wasn’t one to complain. It was a brand new day, and a brand new adventure was about to begin.

“Count me in!”

So, we met up with Raz and Lili to debrief them, and we all got into the jet to head off on our search for Truman Zanotto. Coach Oleander joined us, too, though Ford had to stay behind. His mobile psitanium supply wore off, causing his mind to revert to its shattered state.

Milla passed me over to Raz as she and Sasha took their seats at the front, and soon, we were ready for takeoff.

“See? I told ya we’d be Psychonauts together.”

I sighed. “You just love being right, don’t you?”

“C’mon, you’re glad I was right!”

If it were any other day, I’d fire a million snarky comments back at him. But not this time.

“Yeah… I really am.”

[everysongineverykey]

your post about eyes in dhmis (most especially the tags) made me realize something

do you think it's relevant at all that yellow guy's eyes turn green specifically? green, which he says is his favorite color and the same color he changes into at the end of the original series..

y'know, i've been wondering for some time if the phrase "green is not a creative color" means a bit more than we think. i mean, that bit definitely is at least partially to torture yellow guy, but... not a creative color. i wonder... since duck is green, and he's not so very creative at all.

duck is grouchy. he's often selfish and easily annoyed. he mistakes butterflies, baby worms, and basically every small animal for "pesky bees". when the key tells him he has to secure the town in the pilot, drawing a moustache and angry eyebrows on a photo of a friend of his, duck doesn't think twice about it. yellow guy and red guy both see through mean steve (the key)'s machinations, but duck only sees a town in danger, cause that's what he's been told to see. when the computer traps the three in the digital world, looping again and again, red guy is instantly suspicious, and even yellow guy starts to become disillusioned with what he's being shown, but duck just keeps trying on digital outfit after digital outfit. he's got no imagination- he can't see the forest for the trees. he's not creative.

if yellow guy is the naive child whose dad's running the show, and red guy is the avatar of the audience/meta-aware one/possible co-creator if you follow the tv theory, then duck is stuck in the middle. he's just an ordinary guy. the first time he starts to realize something's up in the original series is in episode 5, when red guy calls him on the phone and he becomes suspicious of the steak. on the phone. red guy sees everything, but duck only gets the cue to flee when he hears it.

anyway. yeah. green's not a creative color- it's practical, grouchy, down-to-earth, wants what it wants. yellow guy's eyes turning green just might be symbolic of him seeing through the gaudy sets and catchy teacher tunes and finally seeing his world for what it is- a prison.

[thefleetsfinest]

This was a terrible idea, why had she let herself be talked into this again? "You get out there! Go on some dates!" and "Okay, one date didn't didn't work out and you had to call the fire department, try again." She made a friend than, and sure they had been a young reptilian patient in the end, and maybe she should have argued to Stephen that he was her friend, and her two associates that now spent most of their days in the clinic were her friends as well.

Miracles really, and not small ones. Leonard's been amazing, a great help in a lot of things and he along with Luna had made the clinic more lively. Not that it wasn't with some their frequent patients (Spider-man and Hawkeye were a chatty bunch).

Yet she would try again when even Jane had encouraged Stephen's sentiments. It's a different date, and she really already hates the internet and online dating. Why couldn't she meet some sweet Southern doctor with passion in his light eyes and a sense of humor like Leonard's and they hit it off the old fashioned way?

Why's it gotta be dating profiles these days?

Technically today's date is not a doctor, and it's a brunch which she has no clue if that's odd for a date or not. It was a nice day, so being out or eating on a patio might be nice for a date setting, daytime romantic.

Linda had opened up the clinic with Leonard, and after two appointments seen to; she's ducking away to get dressed. When she returns to the lobby, it definitely feels weird not to be in her nursing uniform or scrubs.

A light-colored sundress put on in place and she's let her hair down than pulled a few strands back for a half up but mostly down. ❝ How do I look? ⸻ Not too much for a brunch, right? Should I have brought a sun hat? Sitting on a patio could be nice, but hats aren't date appropriate, yeah? ❞

She's maybe stalling a little because she really doesn't know what to do with getting out, and was maybe trying to more so that Stephen would stop worrying over her. For a guy, who really screwed up with her, he's became a good friend.

❝ I owe you, can't thank you enough for handling more things here and well, letting me dip out this afternoon. ❞

It was just a normal work day for Leonard, nothing special or out of the ordinary. ( Outside of Linda's date. Which he definitely isn't grumpy about, why would he be grumpy? It's none of his business who she dates, even if he did think apps were just about the DUMBEST way to find someone to settle down with.) There had been the SMALLEST of selfish thoughts of finding some reason he couldn't cover the clinic while she went out, but in the end.. he couldn't bring himself to disappoint her.

So there he was, finding himself FIDDLING with the files, finding every which way to PROLONG the entire task of putting them back in their respective secure spots. ( Mostly adding his little notes from the important, slowly written so it was at least MOSTLY readable. ) when she had finally come back FRESHLY CHANGED, and looking like something out of a MAGAGINE.

For the BRIEFEST of moments, Leonard stood just STOOD THERE staring at her, taking in every last detail. Everything from the way her dark hair waved and curled, to the flow of her sundress, the color of her cheeks all the way down her just how GOOD her legs looked.

What was he suppose to be answering again?

"You look down right STUNNIN'" It was the first thing he managed to blurt out of his mouth, and it was the HONEST truth. "I don't know nothin' about fashion so you are barkin' up the wrong tree about the hat... though I think you look perfect just the way yer are."

Was he still talking?

"Don't sweat it, It's not like I wasn't gonna be here anyways and besides.. at least one of us should try to have a social life." and you deserve to be happy.. "and let's face it I'm a lost cause a this point." a bit of a laugh followed as he clicked at his pen a few times. FIDGETING.

"This feller truly is Lucky to be taking you out on a nice afternoon like today, be a shame for ya to not be out on some nice patio somewhere." He has got to stop and he knows it. So he manages a deep breath, the pen put away. She had places to be.. a SOMEONE ELSE waiting for her.

god he needed a drink.

"Go on get going, yer gonna be late if you keep letting me prattle on."

[the-oc-lass]

Nimona OC - Charlotte Swiftheart/Corova: Bad Night

Haven't posted about baby in a minute, so I'll give you a scene I wrote the other day for the full length fic I'm writing. Do enjoy!

Original Post

Ever since that night when she was ten, Charlotte has known that she can go to Ambrosius if she has a particularly bad nightmare. It’s something that she’s done a handful of times over the past three years, but she tries not to let it become a habit. She’s been learning to manage on her own. Sometimes, it just helps to have another person that she trusts nearby, and even though Ballister is now in the bunk right next to hers, she’s still afraid of making things worse for him. So, when she has another nightmare on this particular night, the first thing she does is pull her pillow from beneath her and hug it tightly, trying to take deep breaths without making too much noise. A few hiccups sneak in, but she’s mostly able to get her heart rate and breathing under control. However, even as she continues her breathing exercises, the fear clings to her like a parasite. It sinks into her mind, digging its claws in, and she can’t help the tremble that runs through her body. She’s not sure how long she tries to get it under control before it becomes too much. She sets the pillow back on her bed and cautiously climbs out of bed. She glances over at Ballister, who’s still asleep with his back facing her, then hurries out of the barracks. She knows the route to Ambrosius’s room by heart these days, and even on the darkest nights, when she struggles to see the halls, she’s able to reach it without trouble. Tonight, though, she’s almost to the room when she hears rushed footsteps coming in her direction. She looks around for somewhere to hide, but she already knows that there isn’t anything in this hall. However, as she looks toward the sound of the footsteps, a skinny figure rounds the corner. As soon as the figure spots her, though, they freeze, and Charlotte squints in the low light. 

“Ballister?” she calls softly. The figure takes a slow, single step forward. 

“Charlotte?” a familiar voice whispers back. She nods and Ballister slowly moves closer until she’s finally able to properly make out his face in the dark. He looks…Shaken. Maybe a little afraid. “What are you doing out here?” She fidgets slightly with the hem of her shirt, lips pursed for a moment. 

“I’m going to see Ambrosius,” she mutters. “What are you doing?” 

“Same thing,” he mutters back. She looks at him to meet his eyes. 

“Bad dream?” He nods, and she gives him a small, wry smile in the dark. “Me too.” Her hand extends toward him, and he looks at it for a moment before taking it. She knows that they aren’t kids anymore—not to the public or the Institute—but she doesn’t care at the moment. Grasping onto Ballister’s hand is comforting, and she feels more at ease as they walk the rest of the way to Ambrosius’s door. They pause outside it, and she hesitates as she lifts her fist toward the door. Even after the past three years, after becoming so close with him, she still feels bad about waking him up in the middle of the night. It feels wrong. Rude. Like she’s being selfish. But even if she feels bad, she can’t make herself turn away and walk back to the barracks. She never can. So, she knocks on the door, just loud enough that she knows Ambrosius will hear it and wake up. She’s learned that he can be a bit of a light sleeper. After waiting a few moments, a sleep rumpled Ambrosius opens the door, rubbing at one eye. However, spotting both of them standing there seems to wake him up a bit more, and he tilts his head to give them a sympathetic look. 

“Bad night, huh?” he asks. Charlotte frowns and looks at the floor. 

“Yeah,” she mutters, while Ballister nods silently beside her. Ambrosius steps aside to let them into the room. 

“Come on,” he says softly. The two slip inside quietly, and Ambrosius shuts the door behind them. If it were any ordinary bunk, Charlotte may have been concerned about how the bed would fit them all, but Ambrosius’s bed isn’t an ordinary bunk. It’s plenty big for all three of them, even though they’ve all grown since they first met each other. Ambrosius wordlessly fiddles with his alarm clock, adding an earlier time that will wake them when they need to return to the barracks so that they aren’t missed. It’s something he’s learned to do over the years when it comes to both of them. Neither ever really wants to leave the comfort and safety of Ambrosius’s bed and room, but they do every time. They don’t speak as they settle into the bed, Ambrosius taking his place between Ballister and Charlotte. They’re both rather tactile people, so he isn’t surprised when they curl up against him. He simply wraps an arm around both of them and begins to recount stories to them—stories that both have already heard. Charlotte reaches across Ambrosius’s body to set her hand on Ballister’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. As she closes her eyes, she feels a hand copy her gesture on her own shoulder, and she sighs softly. A safe feeling settles over her like a blanket, and she lets herself doze off to the sound of Ambrosius’s voice, the warmth of Ballister’s hand on her shoulder spreading right through to her soul.

Also, remember how I made Charlotte in the sims? Well guess what, I made baby Charlotte too. Here's my baby:

So innocent, so small. No idea what's going to happen to her. Precious little girl.

Hello tagged people:

@ammonitetheseaserpent @perfectkittystranger @madlad06 @xxlunadrawsstuffxx @floxu

[ginnsbaker]

hi there! can i just say i’m a big fan of your “if i bleed (you’ll be the last to know)” work!! i just want to take a long minute to gush about all the little details i hyperfixated on.

okok first i have!!! to talk about this title… my god… it.. hurts so good??? (assuming it was from cruel summer by taylor) i love this song so much and have read countless of fics with this same title but none hit the nail on the head quite like yours.. and now i’m listening to the song all over again and my thoughts are filled with how perfect this song and this fic fit together. before i realized you were quoting this song i had just imagined sometime late into spring but now i’m imagining summer and it somehow makes all the smaller moments more intimate to me…

second, i haven’t watched sorry for your loss yet… i’ve been meaning to!! …but i just really don’t do well with grief related shows even though i know it might help me to grow and move past it to learn and see how others cope… but anyway! i’ve gone into this blind pretty much, only knowing that yeah, leigh’s husband passes and there’s something she didn’t know… and i’m not a fan of cheaters and such but something about reading how… selfish.. these characters can be… flawed characters. it just makes it sweeter to read somehow. — especially that little part in part 6(?) where jules mentions how… difficult leigh can be at times since the whole thing.. like gahhhh my brain is like… gnawing and chewing on how… just real you make these characters!!! the emotions you portray through leigh as well!!! like…ahhh!!! i really don’t know what to say it just makes me tug on my hair in a good way… speechless is what you’ve made me! or! or!! oh my god!!! when the reader doesn’t want leigh to hurt any more than she already is and leigh just.. takes the pain and walks with it??? because she’s… stronger than this? because she’s bitter? feels like she has to get back at matt?? and ugh… idkidk really! (i got all that from the anger and the line “i can handle pain just fine.”) like… i’m just. i’m chewing on this like a piece of gum that i don’t wanna spit out. oh!!! and… when she’s mad at… the things that matter… the little things like. how intimate it is for matt to just be there… after that first date… also! i’m a hater!! i’m a lover of the haters (jules!!!) and a hater of the lovers!! meaning, danny!!! i love that you’ve made me hate his character. after seeing how selfish he really is with leigh and.. how much of a tough spot the reader is in…

ok this is getting too long, i apologize. i jus really loved the pacing of the story, the characterizations and everything else… i just love it a lot and i can’t stop thinking about it after every update… because of all the cliffhangers!! anyway. i hope you know your words are loved, author. thank you!!

(ps. my friend saw me typing these paragraphs out and called it a love letter… and this is exactly what it is. a love letter to you, dear author and to your lovely fic. thank you again for writing such a piece and i am absolutely sat waiting for the next part!!!)

Oh my gosh, reading your feedback got me all:

first of all, i want to thank you for this long and adorable message. it's always such an overwhelming and it reminds me one of the reasons why i love writing so much. thank you thank you!

re:title- yes it's from Cruel Summer :)

re: watching Sorry for your loss - honestly, it's not required for you to have seen the show, just that you know the gist of it (Leigh being a young widow). Nothing really goes on--it just paints the process of grief in ordinary life. So you really don't have to see it. Besides, I don't even follow its timeline and relationships to a T.

re: your thoughts on the story- i find myself nodding along the stuff you picked out from the last 6 chapters. Also, I am a hater too (lol), I'm just not very vocal about the things I hate because one of lizzie's character once said: "You think it's cool to hate things. And it's not. It's boring. Talk about what you love and keep quiet about what you don't." But I'm a huge hater. I think we all secretly are. I think hating Danny is easy in this fic, but I keep trying to find something in him that's relatable, something that just doesn't make him an antagonist. I think it's fair to think that he's also being used by Leigh, being treated unfairly by Leigh. I don't think I really hate Danny here as much as you guys do. I have done awful things when I was younger out of the selfishness of satisfying my own desires. But I'll talk about that some other time and if anyone will ask :P

thank you for your love letter, it means so much and I'm going to keep this in my blog and tag it for what it is. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the series :)

[murmuur-vanilja]

Fictober 2022.16 — Damn, Rachida

Prompt number 16: "You're looking, but you don't see" Original fiction: My Servant, the Devil Rating: M Warnings: implications of disordered eating and related issues, ableism

Running her hands through her massive walk-in closets, Rachida was searching for the best outfit for the day. The collection of clothes she had gathered in her place was absurd, to the point where quantifying it would lead to incomprehensible numbers. Yet, a look out the window should be enough to notice the insurmountable gap between the budget spent on herself and the crumbs she gave to her kingdom. Measures had been taken, time and time again, to prevent any revolution, and that mainly included the relocation of most people had they turned old enough to go work and be hosted in other parts of the world. In other words, despite the selfish attitude of their Queen, the countries she had command over were hopeful. Would a dress do? What kind? She was bored of her long, blue kaftan, and her headpiece had grown out of fashion. Therefore, she had once again become her own priority, although it would be wrong to assume she had ever not been on her own mind. The golden patterns on her royal clothes weren’t shiny enough — she wanted to glow more, she wanted to show off what sort of perfect body she thought she had, with the curves, the ribs, the collarbone and the hips. Would it be hypocritical of me to call her vain for exhibiting such ill thoughts? Still, our similarities were quite superficial — we didn’t share a motive in that regard.

As her eyes landed on an abaya featuring glitter and lace. At least, she referred to it as an abaya, and I’m going by her words, because the clothe was completely unrecognisable, having changed so much from its original form. She tried it on and looked at the shape of her thighs, satisfied by the gap between her legs. A smile illuminated her face. “Mh, I’ve always been the prettiest, but I’d like people to see me as the hottest, too. Just look at these stupid polls, and they tare Taneilla looks fancier? I’ll beat her to that, bitch-ass.” Her intentions were in the wrong place; the very polls she had been referring to didn’t have anything to do with physique in the first place. It was but a survey that had circulated around the forum DataData, a network that was only accessible to specific people having been granted the right to less restriction on the internet. Taneilla, one of the other Queens, hadn’t “won” anything — instead, she had been described as more composed than Rachida. However, ever since she had come to hear about that piece of information, Rachida had grown jealous. Selecting new clothes was her vengeance over the Queen that was always bullying her at the meetings. To be quite honest, it was nothing out of the ordinary for her — she was basically the modern version of Narcissus, and may that fucking idiot drown in her reflection too. Therefore, she was simply being her usual self, unable to accept anything but first place. “Yeah, that dress is perfect. People will see. They better understand. No more of these Eclipso, Ramdam, Lukas or Amă. I’m the only true God on Earth.” The sight of her was pitiful, and frankly quite annoying. For most higher-ups, the way she had come to be in power, and to maintain it, was a mystery. Her people might be hopeful for a better future, but the officials who spent time with her knew the people was misguided in that sentiment. The most deceived, however, were her suitors. Rachida wasn’t married, even though a lot of people had tried to put a ring on her hand. She would always tell them off and kick them out, claiming they were unable to impress her. As the narrator, I had been putting up with her stories, but she was getting on my nerve more and more each day. Although I knew how to mask most of my emotions, or rather how to entirely supress them and feel nothing but apathy, I could become impulsive if you tried really hard. As she posed in front of her mirrors, she spat out even more ambitious words. “And who’s that other guy they’ve been talking about lately? Ren? Guren? Ugh, whatever, I bet they’re just some kind of loser too. Probably worse than the ‘gods’ all those idiots are fawning over already.” It just so happened that I could stand any and all accusations from anyone, but that I wouldn’t take it from her. That night, I suddenly stood on her windowsill. A black coat covering my figure, and the right amount of serious in my expression, I stared when she screamed as the lightning hit in an unpredictable storm. “The only true God? Damn, girl, aren’t you exaggerating things when you’re in front of the mirrors all alone? You’re looking, but you don’t see. Your stupid kind is even afraid of the weather.” She noticed me, and her pupils immediately reduced as her heartbeat sped up. That physiological reaction was betraying pure terror. Usually, such strange appearance wouldn’t have fazed her, and she would have called for the Red Forces to take care of the intruder. Naturally, my cue had nothing to do with being usual, and had it been, I would still have been unsettling. After all, she had never met anyone wearing horns or a tail. “Congrats, you’ve got yourself a crown. Now what? I don’t care much about if you think you can be compared to Eclipso, Ramdam or Lukas. They’re no fun anyway, lol.” I could see her body shaking. I could have let it at that, but I wasn’t satisfied just yet. I had gone out of my way to come in person, so I should make an impression. Yet, I was already holding back, doing her a favour: I could’ve skipped the talking and gone straight to the stabbing. She wasn’t worth that much trouble, though. “Do you really wish to defile me? Bow the fuck down.” For the first time ever since I had started observing her, she obeyed someone without a pout. She bowed, and her trembling made it so that she even kneeled, hanging her head low. I must admit, every once in a while, there was something good that could come out of my supernatural status. The expression on her face at that moment was priceless. I smiled before disappearing. “Not that stupid, are we?”

[the-vault-apprentice]

I feel the discourse has a lot to do with the russian-ukranian war and its just in poor taste? like maybe the mindset is they should have done this earlier when a war WASNT going on, so it wouldnt trigger players but as far as ive seen, there was a war cutscene in aurora too, so i was just wondering whats the difference, or are people also upset about it too

The only difference, as far as I know, is that rather than a battle, this is a more human side of war. The parts that aren't fair, the parts that hurt people who had not a damn choice in the matter. It's not soldiers fighting soldiers or people fighting monsters, it's cruelty towards ordinary civilians.

I'm not a beta player, so my knowledge of the upcoming season is extremely limited, but that would be my best guess. That it paints a picture of suffering unlike the bodies on the Wasteland's Battlefield- They're already dead, it's over for them. These ones are not dead and therefore still in pain, and they should not be. There's no REASON for it- But war is unreasonable and greed is selfish. The lives of even the ordinary people were ruined by the pursuit of power.

I'll admit with how chaotic and unstable my home life has been, I completely forgot there was an actual war going on on the other side of the world. I've been more concerned with trying to survive the next day at a time myself, but I think it's just an unfortunate coincidence. I highly doubt TGC would do that on purpose- Most likely they'd already had this season planned for after Aurora, and it's not like they could just throw together a whole different one quickly enough, not without a TON of complaints and/or extremely overworked staff. The last few seasons have been alternating between light and dark, and it makes perfect sense to show us the cruelty of the king after the kindness of Aurora.

Besides, I've heard it's going to be called the season of Remembrance, and like.... Yeah. It's important. This happened in their world, and these people deserve to be remembered. I'm not defending the people making memes about the spirit being arrested or anything like that, this is a season that will need to be handled with respect and it's not going to be for everyone. And that's completely fine! I just don't appreciate people coming after the idea of the season itself or acting like it's some kind of huge moral failure on TGC's part. You're under no obligation to enjoy the season or participate in it, but to completely attack it before it's even gone live? Please, some of us use fictional despair to cope with the tragedies we can't change in our own life. Let those of us who want to enjoy the dark underside of Sky's story do so, please. We shouldn't be mocked for being excited about lore, either, cuz they said that too. That people didn't care it was horrible because "OMG cosmetics!!!!" and "✨Lore✨" but... At least there IS lore. At least there IS a story to be told- even a sad one- as opposed to real-life pain which isn't always clear cause and effect and you go your whole damn life wondering why-

Sorry. Got a bit off track. But I think people upset by the new season in beta need to step back and remember none of it is real and nobody is forcing them to play. And I think those of us who choose to play have an obligation to handle the heavy subject in a respectful manner, as well. So while I do plan to play through the Season of Remembrance, I can assure you there will be no ridiculous memes or fruitless attempts at humor. It is a tragedy unfolding in front of me, and I will give it the treatment that calls for. Joy at the life lived and the chance to help these spirits move on, gratitude for their gifts, and yes, sorrow at the suffering.