#it's very funny to me that p!ros is just so lovely to everyone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thrill-seeker-vn · 2 years

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I posted 1,090 times in 2022

775 posts created (71%)

315 posts reblogged (29%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thrill-seeker-if

@manonamora-if

@king-of-autumn

@hauntthebodies

@narrativefoiltrope

I tagged 919 of my posts in 2022

Only 16% of my posts had no tags

#not if related - 424 posts

#thrill seeker if - 133 posts

#ro asks - 101 posts

#ch: n - 96 posts

#ch: oli - 90 posts

#anon - 84 posts

#ch: hannie - 83 posts

#ask aalaa - 74 posts

#lovely anon <3 - 45 posts

#<3 - 42 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#we were like reviewing our tor as we go into another work year and she had been showing our plan for the next year and as we're talking she

My Top Posts in 2022:

Please don't write another IF. You're already lazy enough writing this one.

I don't really know what to say to this one. But, then again, I don't really owe you any sort of explanation. You have no idea who I am or what I've been through these last few months, so I really don't know where you get off of that you can speak to me so harshly.

I have very little time to myself, and I am making this IF for free. Between this, I've been helping my Ukranian family seek refuge here. I am paying for their stay. I'm working and studying, too. I get very little free time for this IF. I understand if you don't want to read it, or any of my other WIPs, but I don't think you have the right to talk to anyone this way regardless. I do not owe my time to you. I am not your personal content machine.

If you think you can do better, I truly encourage you to try. Maybe you can take this stick out of your ass while you're at it.

71 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

I’ve collaborated with the incredible @aikhako again for N’s birthday celebration! They've, of course, blown it out of the water yet again!

One thing I'm excited to announce for this celebration as well... I have finally moved the demo from inkle to twine! I have edited chapter 1, so it should hopefully flow better now!

You can play the game from this link. Hope you guys are having a great day!

Also, make sure to check out Aikhako on insta, they post more often there!

75 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

this is so funny to me.... i love blade so much but he really went out and spoke about their trauma and was like 'and i.... yeah me too i guess!'

91 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

5000 views and 2500 plays celebration!

Hello everyone! I actually can't believe it, but today, we passed 5000 views and 2500 browser plays for Thrill Seeker!!

First of all: thank you guys so much. I literally wouldn't be here without you guys. The support I've gotten from you amazing folks is staggering. I really want to thank ALL of you for supporting Thrill Seeker, you guys are so lovely and to be honest, the love I've gotten here has gotten me through some really tough times. The friends I've made here are absolutely wonderful.

I love talking to you guys, seeing your art and hearing your theories, and I love hearing what you look forward to. Thank you for listening to my ramblings and being so lovely!! I'm so happy to have people like you engaging with Thrill Seeker and I appreciate every single one of you.

So, to thank you all, we're going to have a little celebration!!

Until then I’d just like to do something fun for you all! Ther are three There will be three prizes for everyone who wishes to participate

1st prize: Portrait of your MC and preferred RO & Longer Drabble created with your preferred RO

2nd prize: Medium length drabble written with your character & smaller portrait of your preferred RO

3rd prize: Option to create your own character who, although small, will play a role giving information to the MC & moodboard of preferred character

To win, all you have to do is reblog or comment on this post (not like!!) and you'll be in!!! This will be open to anyone until about mid September, so you all have plenty of time!

I hope you guys enjoy!! Thank you guys so, so much for sticking with me and giving so much love to Thrill Seeker!

See the full post

93 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Your favorite IFs? I don't remember if you have already answered something like this and I'm looking for something to get addicted to.

I've actually been looking for the post I made about this exactly, but here's a bunch more!

@reincarnation-if - A RESURRECTION STORY, BABY!!! I love the author AND the story, I'm totally obsessed with it!! The demo isn't out yet, but I literally can't wait!!

@manonamora-if - I cannot recommend this author enough. Check out her IFs here. I don't even know how to begin describing how amazing she is-- it seems like she can literally do any genre!

@attollogame - I'm sure everyone knows this incredible if but, if you don't, definitely check them out RIGHT NOW! They're going to celebrate their two year anniversary soon, so this is the perfect chance to read the work and find out more about this awesome game!!

@jaunefleurwrites - another one I mention a lot. But she has so many amazing WIPS and IFs and I'm not sure if all my audience knows about it!! You can check Jaune's masterpost for all their amazing IFs (my favorite is definitely A World Without You!! There's just a certain warmth in Jaune's writing that I absolutely love!)

@magiciansvoyage - Yet again someone who shows up on the blog a lot-- I'm getting my favoritism out of the way, don't worry. Arlo is such a lovely writer and person, and Magician's Voyage is easily one of my favorite ifs. Arlo's writing is so immersive and I love fantasy, so easy rec from me!

@parkerlyn - The Nameless is literally one of the best IFs out there and you are missing out if you're not reading it. They are also celebrating their second anniversary soon so send them some love!!

@anathemafiction - If you're looking to buy an amazing, immersive game, this is the one to get! It's fully released, incredible quality, and you can download it on mobile or desktop. I would definitely recommend checking them out!

@thefallendivine - I love betrayal stories. You play as the heir to heaven and hell, but your family has been killed by your peers. You're in a situation where you're not sure who to trust anymore. I absolutely love these kinds of stories!! I think if you like Thrill Seeker, you'll enjoy this is!

@sevensdeadly-if - You get to interact and romance the seven deadly sins. How much better can it get, man??? Is there anything more I need to say to sell it?? Chapter one was released recently, so an excellent time to read it.

@nextinline-if - Are you looking for an if with DRAMA?? ROYALTY?? A STORY THAT MAKES YOU LOOK WITHIN YOURSELF, THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO BE A GOOD RULER??? then look no further than this amazing game!! Constantine has my heart and I will love him till the end of time, so if you do play, pick someone else, because he is MINE!

@lifesupreme-if - There are defiitely not enough sci-fi if's out there, and this story is based in the world of Cyberpunk 2077, so it was an automatic win in my eyes.

@when-life-gives-you-lemonssss - This is nothing like Thrill Seeker, and I love it. It's a cute slice of life with a bunch of awesome ROs. I love domestic games, and this covers all the boxes in the cute game checklist!

@whenbodiescollide - when i saw the synopsis, it immediately caught my attention. the entire aesthetic of the blog plays in so well with the story that i can't recommend it enough!!

@vendetta-if - another awesome synopsis bro. I love revenge stories, and this is probably the best IF you're gonna find of it, baby!

@lacewing-if - Their if doesn't have a demo yet, but I already love the premise. Keith has my entire heart and I can't wait until I can get to romance him properly LIUHDFSSDFHUI

@thehunt-if - Another concept I love a lot-- you play as a hunter for supernatural beings!! But then!!! YOU GET POSSESSED BY SOMETHING YOU HUNTED, AND NOW YOU HAVE TO WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES!! i cannot stress how much I love this hehe

@hummingbird-games - Moreso a VN, but still such a cute game and I just love it sm!!! The art is so gorgeous and it's just so nicely done!!

@if-whenthesunrises & @if-mirrormine - both are excellent stories!! The lovely author is on a hiatus right now, but I would still recommend checking out their work!!

@unwilling-souls-if - The premise is just so insanely good I can't even explain it. Check it out and you'll get it, LMAIUHDSFUHDFIU. Xander-- watch out. I'm coming for you.

There are way too many talented authors to mention in the word limit, so let me know if you want a part three!! Thank you for the ask Eva <3

339 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

21 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 4 years

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Tactical Retreat

Prompts: averykedavra: could i request,,,logince? maybe an imagination fic? roman retreating to the imagination and logan finding and comforting him? no pressure, but thank u regardless, and your stories are incredible!

Anon: So I’m I adore your writing and like I’ve read your stuff on ao3 and I just wanted to ask if you ever thought of that conversation between Roman and Remus and stuff that they mentioned in that story about Logan relapsing...? I just, I love the way you write your characters and dive into their head and manners so well- it’s incredible. (I’m shy to say but I also write a bit and I saw you’d left a comment on my story and I kind of died cause you’re incredible and I’m majorly inspired by you-)

Thanks for the prompts, babes! they fit so well that I did them together, I hope that's okay ^_^also: GUYS PLEASE VIEW THIS AS A

C H E C K P O I N T

if you've been scrolling for a while (and you probably have) pause here! drink water! get food! walk around the room for a little bit! stretch! do something please! you are very important to me and I care about you very deeply!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: explicit discussion of self-harm. I’m not kidding. I fucked myself up writing this a little please take care of yourselves. sympathetic remus

Pairings: logince, creativitwins, implied LAMP, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 5131

Retreat: an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.

Retreat: a place of privacy or safety: REFUGE.

* * *

“We are so not done with this conversation,” Remus had said.

That would certainly explain why Remus barges into Roman’s room at absolutely-unreasonable-do-you-have-any-idea-what-time-it-is o’clock.

Roman just looks at them all and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, please. It’s not all long sleeves and pants all summer for no reason.”

“R-Roman, you—you—?”

“Yeah, Specs,” Roman murmurs when Logan can’t find his words, “me too.”

“Oh, we are not done with this conversation.”

…

“Will you let us help you clean them?”

Unbidden, Logan’s face flares bright red.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, sweetie…”

Roman gently nudges Remus’s arm. “Let me. You two go check on Patton and Virgil.”

“What?”

“Roman—“

“Come on,” Roman coaxes, “it’s not like I don’t have the practice.”

“We are so not done with this conversation.”

That would certainly explain why Remus barges into Roman’s room at absolutely-unreasonable-do-you-have-any-idea-what-time-it-is o’clock.

“Remus,” Roman sighs, sitting up and covering his eyes, “I know it might not seem like it, but I do need my beauty sleep too.”

He frowns when Remus doesn’t say anything.

“I can look at whatever you’ve made tomorrow,” he promises, “I just—I don’t really want to—not that I don’t want to!—but can I…sleep, first, please?”

Remus still doesn’t say anything. Roman peeks out from behind his hand to see Remus…is still humanoid. The door isn’t…off its hinges, it’s just been slammed open. His morningstar isn’t in his hands. His brother is just staring at him.

Shit.

“Re?” Roman sits up slowly, his eyes adjusting to the light. “Re, are you—can you come here please?”

Remus walks into the room. Roman pulls back the covers, making room for his brother, already running through the checklist in his head. No blood, no guts, first aid kit is in the corner, he can get the shower running if need be…

It’s only when Remus actually stops next to his bed that he realizes what’s going on.

Remus is wearing his soft things. Remus has opened Roman’s door. And now he’s getting into the bed and just staring at him.

“…Re?”

“Ro,” Remus whispers, and oh no, “Ro, you…you didn’t have anybody?”

Roman’s heart clenches in his chest and an emptiness oozes into his throat. He should’ve known that Remus was serious when he said they weren’t done with that conversation.

“…Re, I—“

“Don’t bullshit me, Roman,” Remus hisses, the desperation bleeding into Roman’s lungs, “I know you, Ro-bro, and you—you—I’m gonna kick their asses.”

Roman sighs, his head falling back to the pillow. Now that the worry over his brother has dissipated, he really just wants to go back to sleep.

“You don’t have to do that, Re,” he mumbles.

“The hell I do!” Roman winces and he hushes. “You—Ro, you know what my job is. You know I—“

“Yeah, Re, I do know what your job is.” He stifles a yawn. “I…sorry, I just…I’m really tired right now.”

A sharp poke to his belly makes him squeak.

“Remus!”

“I told you, Ro, you can’t bullshit me.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Something, anything, Ro, you—“ Remus chokes— “Ro, you’re my brother. You’re fucking important to me.”

“I know, Re, I…well, I would say I’m sorry, but you told me not to bullshit.”

“So you’re not sorry.”

“Sorry for worrying you, yeah. But not for…” Roman sighs. “I would just be apologizing for how it makes you guys react and not because I’m sorry for what I’ve actually been doing.”

Remus is quiet for a moment. The bed dips under his weight as he slides under the blankets. Then he shifts a little closer until his hair brushes Roman’s nose.

“…when you said you knew what my job is,” he mutters after a moment, “you didn’t just mean the intrusive thoughts, did you?”

Roman shakes his head. “Thomas…I’m the…safe Creativity. I’m the fluffy, dreamy, Disney side.”

Remus moves to look up at him, encouraging him to continue.

“So I…I tend to romanticize things. I get the pretty, artsy, palatable version of things.” The emptiness bubbles up lazily into his throat. “Of everything. You…you get the real version of them.”

Even in the dim light, he can see Remus visibly pale.

“You get all the messy consequences, the realities of…a lot of the things that I wouldn’t.” Roman swallows. “So…”

“Oh, Ro…”

“Do we have to have this conversation now?”

Remus props himself up on his elbow, the blanket sliding a little off his shoulders. “Do you wanna have it in broad daylight, then? Plan it all out, sit down with a drink and a notebook? Have one of your lists to work down?”

“…can you at least close the door, please?”

A weight leaves Roman’s chest as the door closes and the light vanishes, leaving them in near darkness. His eyes close.

Damn it.

The mattress sinks as Remus gets back into the bed. He’s too far away for Roman to feel him. But he can feel his gaze on him.

“What do you want from me?”

“The truth?”

Roman huffs. “Is that all?”

“I dunno, Ro-bro, you’ve gotten pretty good at misleading everyone else.”

“I’m an actor.”

“Yeah, which means you’re really not good at turning it off.”

A mirthless laugh bursts out of one of the bubbles in his throat.

“Haven’t exactly had much of an incentive to do that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come on, you think any of them have actually wanted the real me for…ever?”

Remus scrambles up. “Roman, that’s—fuck, you’re one of the core Sides. You’re—you’re so fucking important, Ro, they—they love you.”

Something darker than darkness shears through the emptiness.

“No,” Roman growls, turning his head into the pillow, “no, they don’t.”

Did they ever? Or was that just an easy way to string along their favorite little puppet?

Before the anger can fully take hold of his throat, the emptiness oozes back into place and his jaw slackens, prompting another sigh as Remus freezes above him.

“What’re you talking about, Ro,” comes his voice from somewhere, “they—you—aren’t you…?”

“They say it,” Roman manages, “but I don’t think they mean it. Or if they do, it’s not—it’s not like that.”

“Well, then what the fuck is it?”

“They don’t want to listen to me, not really, they just…well, they need someone else to be there.”

“It’s funny because I’m pretty sure we just had this conversation with Lolo.”

“That’s different.”

“Is it?” Remus pokes Roman’s shoulder until he rolls onto his back. He glares. “I don’t care what anyone else says, Ro, you’re fucking important. You’re not replaceable. And you’re sure as hell not unlovable.”

Roman flinches.

Remus tilts his head, eyes widening.

“You don’t believe me.”

Roman shakes his head.

Remus lets out a shaky breath and lies back down, still staring at Roman. “Ro-Bro, what did they do to you?”

“What, you want the list alphabetically or in chronological order?”

“Roman, please.”

Roman’s eyes snap open in shock. Remus stares back at him, pleading. His brother is begging, he realizes in a panic. He wasn’t sure Remus knew how to do that.

“I’m—“

“If you dare say you’re sorry, I’m gonna rip your testicles out through your mouth.”

Roman swallows. “They just…they won’t listen to me,” he repeats lamely, “they don’t want me.”

“What do you mean, they don’t want you?”

Conveniently, Roman’s brain is now entirely empty. He knows stuff has happened to him…doesn’t he? Things…stuff’s been bad now. For a while. He’s been…doing whatever this is for a while.

So why can’t he remember?

“Every time I come up with an idea, it’s—they always want to change it.” But that’s just part of the editing process. He needs the others to help him edit.

“They think I’m too loud.” He is, though.

“I’m—they think I’m—“

Arrogant? Overbearing? Stuck in a fantasy world?

All of the above?

“Nothing,” he whispers finally, “they didn’t do anything to me.”

He buries his face in his hands.

“They didn’t do anything to me. I’m just—I’m just being overdramatic. It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not fine.”

“Isn’t it?” He flaps a hand at Remus. “You’re the one that gets the real version of all this. I get the romanticized version. No consequences. Just pretty words and sentiments that don’t make sense.”

“You think Thomas is okay with a self-harming Ego?”

“Well, maybe Thomas deserves a better Ego!”

The room freezes.

Roman squeezes his eyes shut. “Thomas deserves an Ego that knows what he’s doing. That believes in himself. That can do all the things it’s supposed to do.”

He lets his hands fall limply away from his face.

“But all he’s got is me.”

I’m not enough.

“I can’t—I can’t do my job without being able to…” He sighs. “I’m the opposite of Logan.”

“…how so?”

“Logan does it to make things go away so he can work. I do it make things come so I can work.”

He feels Remus tense on the bed.

“Romanticized, remember? That’s my job. Fantasy, dreams, romance, not real. I…” He shrugs. “It doesn’t matter.”

A wave of exhaustion threatens to snatch his words from his mouth. God, talking about this is so draining. Can he be done now?

“How,” Remus says after a moment, “can you possibly say it doesn’t matter?”

“Can’t I just go to sleep now, Remus?”

“No,” comes the snarl, “you can’t fucking go to sleep, because you’ve just told me it doesn’t fucking matter if you self-harm and that you think you aren’t good enough without it.”

Roman shrinks into himself. “Don’t yell at me.”

“Give me one good reason why not!”

“Because you’re making me want to do it again.”

Remus’s breath leaves him in a rush.

“Oh, Roman…”

Roman just curls up tighter.

“I’m doing this all wrong,” he hears Remus mutter faintly before something ruffles his hair and the bed dips further, “Ro-Bro, hey, look at me.”

“Are you going to yell at me again?”

“No, Roman, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things worse. I’m just really upset for you right now. I promise I won’t yell.”

Roman looks up. Remus smiles back at him, still not touching him. If he wanted to, he could reach out and tug Remus closer, but…that’s hard.

“Hey,” Remus says quietly, “you here with me?”

Roman nods.

“I’m sorry, really,” he continues, “we can…if you really want to stop, we can stop.”

“…no.” Roman shakes himself a little. “You’re right. I’d rather…I think I’d rather do it now, like this. So I don’t have to do it later.”

“Okay.” Remus shifts a little. “Can I ask you some questions or do you just want to talk and I’ll listen?”

“I don’t know if I can just talk.”

“That’s okay, Ro. How about this: I’m gonna ask you stuff and when you wanna say something, you just say it.”

“Okay.”

“How long has this been happening?”

Roman shuffles. “Long enough. Um…at least a few years.”

“Do you have the medical supplies you need to take care of it afterward so they don’t get infected?”

“Yeah.”

“If you run out, can you easily get more?”

“Yeah.”

Remus lets out a long, slow, breath. “Okay. Okay, that’s…that’s good.”

“Is that it?”

“Do you want it to be?”

Roman falters, looking at Remus’s face. The room is still dark. It’s still the middle of the night. The world is paused, breathing softly. He…he has time.

“…no.”

“Okay.” Remus shifts to lay on his side. “Can I ask you more stuff?”

“Sure.”

“It’s not just cutting, is it?”

Roman’s face burns. “No.”

“Will you tell me what else it is?”

“I don’t let myself eat. I read things I know are gonna be bad for me. I put myself in situations that I know are gonna be bad for me.”

“Can you give me an example of one?”

“…I submit an idea I know they’ll hate.”

Remus lets out another breath. Something tingles on the tip of Roman’s tongue, pressing up against his lips.

“…why didn’t you come to any of us?”

He swallows it down. “I didn’t think you’d listen.”

“I will,” Remus promises, “I always will.”

“How can you promise that?”

“Because you’re my brother,” he answers like it’s the easiest thing in the world, “and you’re important to me.”

Oh.

“So if you wanna talk,” he continues like he hasn’t just shattered Roman’s worldview, “I’m here to listen.”

The tingle is back. He stares at Remus, stuck. He can talk. He should talk. They just had a conversation with Logan about that. He should know this. This shouldn’t be happening to him.

He squeezes his eyes shut.

“You have to promise me something.”

“What?”

“Don’t touch me until I’m done.”

He can tell he’s startled Remus by the way the covers jerk back.

“…I promise.”

Here goes nothing.

“It’s not that I want this,” he starts, the words aching on his tongue, “that I want to feel bad, or upset, or—or…hurt. I just…sometimes it’s easier to work that way.”

He scuffs a hand over his nose.

“If I’m upset, I can…I know what kind of thing would make me feel better. Or I know how I am feeling and I can make an idea feel it instead. I know—I need—we—I—“

He sighs.

“I hate this.”

“You’re doing great.”

Doubt that. “They don’t want me. They tell me I’m too loud, I don’t make enough sense, I’m too rash, I’m too selfish.” He swallows. “That I spend too much time dreaming.”

His face twitches.

“They think they know what I dream about.”

“…and what do you dream about?”

Roman sinks his head into the pillow, the soft material cool against his cheek. The bed is warm, the room slightly chilled, the air a comforting weight. The emptiness froths in his chest.

“It’s not important.”

“Bullshit,” and only Remus could make that sound affectionate, “they’re your dreams, Ro.”

“Not Thomas’s.”

“So?” Remus reaches out to poke him but freezes halfway. The sight of his hand retreating makes Roman ache. “We just figured out that we’re allowed to not just depend on that, right?”

“Not at the expense of Thomas.” Roman huddles tighter. “And they wouldn’t care about it anyway.”

“Why do you think they don’t care about you?”

“Isn’t that what I just said,” he growls, scrubbing his hands over his face, “that they don’t want to listen to me? That they only ask for my opinion when they think I’ll be easily manipulated enough to agree with them? That when I’m not they reject me and everything I try to do for them?”

He takes a deep breath and draws his hands away. The sight of Remus, just out of reach, just there, hurts. It hurts. The urge to bury his nose in the crook of his brother’s neck hurts.

“No,” comes Remus’s voice quietly.

Roman blinks. His hands freeze, halfway to Remus.

Right. He asked for this.

He wraps his arms tightly around himself and squeezes.

“I can’t play the role all the time,” he murmurs, “so I have to…remind myself.”

“And that’s why you…?”

“Yeah.”

Remus is quiet for a moment. The room hurts. Roman is cold.

“Ro,” his brother says after a minute, “is you asking me to reject you if you look for physical comfort self-harm too?”

“…perhaps.”

“‘Cause you know self-denial is self-harm too.”

“Perhaps.”

He looks up to see Remus’s eyes…glistening?

“I hope you know I’m gonna hug you really hard now.”

“…please?”

Remus all but throws himself at Roman, rucking up the covers something awful as he bowls them over onto the pillows, his arms around his brother. Remus is big and warm and solid and soft and perfect, squeezing Roman so tightly he worries for a minute that he won’t be able to breathe. He buries his nose in Remus’s neck and oh, it’s everything he ever wanted. This is—

This is dangerous.

This is warm and solid and fire burning in his stomach. This is being able to eat and eat and eat until his tongue turns black and falls out of his skull. This is standing in front of a hurricane and the winds whipping around his immovable body.

This is opening that pit in his chest and giving himself to the need to devour.

Remus must feel the way he tenses in his arms and nuzzles into his hair.

“Ro-Bro?”

“Re?”

“Hey, what’s going on? You went weird there for a second.”

“This…this is okay, right?”

Remus squeezes him again. “Yes, Roman, this is okay. You’re allowed to hug me, I’m allowed to hug you.”

“It’s okay that I…want this?”

Remus stills and Roman panics.

He’s messed it up. He’s told Remus that he wants something. He’s told Remus that he wants something. He’s told Remus that he wants something. Remus is going to think he never wants to hug him. Remus is going to tell the others he’s being selfish. He’s let them know he still wants. He’s ruined everything.

Then Remus tightens his grip so much Roman gasps.

“Yes, Roman. This is perfectly fucking okay. You’re allowed to want, Ro. You’re supposed to want.”

“But I—Re—“

“Sorry.”

Roman pants as Remus loosens his grip. Just a little.

“But I—that’s never a good thing. Anytime I want something, we—they—I—I’m supposed to give it up.”

“One of these days,” Remus grumbles, mostly to himself, “we’re gonna sit down with Patton and have a conversation.”

“…like, this kind of conversation?”

Remus grumbles something inaudible.

“But every time I want something it goes wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want, Roman.” Remus tucks his face back into Roman’s neck. “You’re allowed to make yourself satisfied.”

Roman shakes his head. He’s learned this time. He got it right this time. There’s no sainthood in satisfaction. Selfless is safe. He’s figured out how to hide his appetite and put them into his work and not ask for more. He knows not to take up too much space. And when he doesn’t, well…

He knows how to remind himself.

When he says that to Remus, Remus pulls back to look at him.

“You don’t think you deserve to make yourself happy?”

He tries to busy himself with fiddling with Remus’s shirt. “I’m what Thomas wants. Or I’m supposed to be. Who cares about me?”

“I do.”

Roman huffs sadly. “I don’t—yes, thank you, Remus, I—I care a lot about you too.”

“You can say you love me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now, what were you going to say?”

Roman sighs, his eyes falling closed. “I want to be happy. I can’t be happy until Thomas is happy. And Thomas isn’t happy with what I want.”

“Oh, Ro…”

“I’m just—why can’t it be okay for me to just be happy?”

“It is, Ro, you can be happy.” Remus gives him another squeeze. “It’s…you can be you, Roman. That’s okay.”

“But it isn’t. It never is. And I can’t—I can’t be happy. Not yet. I have work to do.”

Remus shifts until his chin is tucked over Roman’s shoulder.

“…thought you were the hero, Ro-Bro?”

As the words plunge deep into Roman’s chest, he smiles.

“Name me one hero who was happy.”

When Roman really doesn’t want to be found, he goes deep into the Imagination.

Remus knows, now. Remus came and found him. Remus talked to him. Remus listens. Remus knows.

He was fine with telling Logan. Logan is different. They want Logan. Logan is wonderful and amazing and deserves the world. Or the stars. Or both!

…Janus also knows now.

He’s not sure how he feels about that.

But they’re going to want to talk to him. They’re going to want to know things. And Roman.

Roman can’t. Not today. It’s too much. It hurts too much.

“‘Cause you know self-denial is self-harm too.”

“Go away,” Roman mutters to the ghost of Remus’s voice as he pushes through the tangled brush.

This is different. This is avoiding an overload. This is when he’s already packaged up his appetites so they’re acceptable. This is when he’s already been stripped of what he wants and he has to leave before he gets stripped of who he is.

And it’s so, so stupid.

The others haven’t even done anything today.

Have they ever?

It’s just…sometimes it’s hard, okay? Roman knows he has to do it—no, he doesn’t—yes, he does—but sometimes he just wants everything to stop for two fucking seconds.

There’s a dark patch of woods on Roman’s side of the Imagination. When he brings the others in, they spot it and think that it’s the gateway to Remus’s side.

That’s actually at the bottom of the lake. The gravity flips as you enter this brine pool with a dense methane atmosphere over it. It’s pretty cool, actually.

But not this forest. This forest is Roman.

It’s the last part of Roman that lets himself want.

Deep between the trees, if you can find your way through, there’s a clearing. It’s very small, just large enough for a massive tree with white petals, almost brushing the ground. The petals sway gently in the little bit of breeze that manages to get through the thick walls of the other forest. Underneath is a little bench swing, just large enough for Roman to sit or lie down if he wants to. It smells gently of the blossoms. It’s quiet.

It’s his.

As he slogs through the last part of the foliage, he almost drops to his knees in relief. He made it. He can stop now.

The swing creaks welcomingly as he sits down, the tree reaching to ruffle his hair. He closes his eyes and lets his head tip back. It’s safe here. There’s nothing that can hurt him. It’s his place, his haven. He doesn’t have to pretend here. His eyes flutter open as he watches the petals fall from the branches. They twist and turn until they land on his red sash.

He picks it up. It’s so small. And soft. It’s pretty. It looks so white against the red of his sash. Why isn’t the rest of his shirt that white?

And the sash is so…so…red…

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the sunlight gleam off of the blade of his sword.

A wounded noise escapes Roman’s throat and echoes around and around the still glade. His hands clutch at his sash as he tumbles gracelessly from the swing.

How could he be so selfish?

Logan is hurting. Logan is struggling right now. The others should be focused on Logan. Not him.

Is this what he thinks he needs to stoop to now? To—to—to get attention now? He hasn’t learned his lesson about asking for attention? Hasn’t he learned that asking for anything hurts?

Is that why he wants to do it so badly?

Because it doesn’t matter that Roman self-harms. It doesn’t matter that telling Logan that he cared, that telling the others that he could help felt like selfishly turning Logan’s problem into something about him. It doesn’t matter that Roman’s wildest dream is to have someone care for him the way he desperately wants to be able to care for them.

Roman wants.

Roman’s not supposed to want something Thomas doesn’t want.

So Roman will be selfish here, in this glade, all by himself, where no one can see it, so that he doesn’t hurt anyone else.

Then he hears something.

“Roman? Roman, where are you?”

No.

“Roman! Roman, answer me!”

“No,” he whimpers, scrambling back against the tree.

Logan can’t be here right now. Logan—Logan has enough of his own to worry about, he can’t make Logan worry about him too.

“Roman?” Logan’s voice takes on a note of panic. “Roman!”

He should tell Logan it’s nothing to worry about. He should come out of the woods and smile, say he’s fine. He should ask Logan if he’s okay.

He doesn’t want Logan to see this place.

He doesn’t want Logan to see him like this.

He doesn’t want Logan to ask him if he’s okay.

Because he isn’t, and he’ll want to tell Logan that.

He staggers to his feet and starts to try and make it out of the glade before Logan gets too close. But the flowers are too soft, too warm, too safe. He can’t make himself get up, can’t make himself stop relentlessly taking comfort. He can’t stop wanting.

“Roman?” The leaves crinkle together. “Roman, are you back here?”

No, he should say, don’t come in here, it’s dangerous, I’ll come to you!

Yes, he wants to scream, yes, come find me, come help me, I want you.

The glade holds its breath as Logan bursts through the trees.

“Roman!”

Before he can blink, Logan’s crouching in front of him. He adjusts his glasses and reaches out for Roman’s shoulders, smoothing over the gold trim and examining his face anxiously.

“You’ve got scratches all across you,” he says worriedly, “did you have a hard time getting through? Are you alright? Were you with Remus?”

“No,” Roman mumbles, cheeks burning, “not…not Remus’s fault. Mine.”

“Roman,” he tuts, “you getting injured during a fight isn’t the fault you make it out to be.”

“…not a fight.”

Logan frowns. He glances over his shoulder. “The branches? I managed to get through with barely any scratches, perhaps if we go back through together, we can—“

“Wasn’t the branches, Logan,” Roman interrupts softly.

“Then…” He can almost feel the minute Logan’s eyes land on his hands lying limply at his sides. “…Roman, did you…?”

He nods, shame burning in his gut.

“…this may be a redundant question,” Logan says quietly after a moment, “but…are you alright?”

He can’t help the huff. “Would you like the honest answer or the acceptable one?”

Logan blinks. “Roman, you…you can always be honest with me. I apologize if I have ever given you the impression that you can’t.”

He must be able to see the disbelief on Roman’s face.

“…I do apologize for making you think your honesty was not wanted,” he says, shifting forward to kneel in front of Roman, “and…if it helps, I do believe I owe you.”

“No,” Roman says quickly, shaking his head, “no, Logan you don’t—you don’t owe me anything.”

“You cared for me.”

“That’s what anyone would do,” Roman argues, “what they should do. You shouldn’t owe me for basic decency. If anything, I owed you that.”

“Why would you owe me that?”

He laughs sadly. “Because I’m me? Because I’m loud and obnoxious and never want to listen to you?”

“And what about me? I’m cold and callous and dismissive of you.”

Roman shakes his head. “No, you’re not.”

Logan reaches up to push his hair out of his face. “And you’re not either.”

The wind ruffles through the petals. Logan looks up and smiles.

“It’s beautiful.”

Roman ducks his head. “…thanks.”

“So this is…yours?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s wonderful, Roman.”

“Thanks.”

“You don’t believe me,” Logan says softly, “do you?”

Roman just shrugs.

“Talk to me,” he coaxes, cupping Roman’s face in his hands, “come on, now.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Now, I don’t believe that for a second.”

It hurts. He wants and it hurts and it’s not supposed to hurt and of course it’s supposed to hurt. Everything hurts. Logan scoots a little closer and waits patiently.

“…it used to be easy,” Roman whispers finally, “I used to be able to…to make this work. And now…now I don’t know how to anymore.”

“How what works?”

“I’m not supposed to want,” Roman confesses, “I’m supposed to want for Thomas. And I…I don’t know what that is anymore. Maybe I never did. But I—it used to be easy for me to make myself stay where I was supposed to be. And how to remind myself to be safe in—in—“

“Pain,” Logan finishes.

Roman’s head throbs.

“Oh, my dear,” he murmurs, pulling Roman forward into a burning hug, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Roman slurs, drunk off of Logan’s arms around him, “don’t…don’t stress about it.”

“I’m worried about you, little star,” Logan says against his temple, “you’re hurting.”

“We all hurt.”

“Yes, and recently, someone very smart said that something like this isn’t necessary for us to love you.”

Roman looks up slowly, his eyes brimming with hope. Logan smiles down at him, head tilted in silent question.

“…you think I’m smart?”

“I think you’re quite intelligent, yes.” He catches a tear on the edge of his thumb. “And I think you’re hurting yourself, little star.”

“I…I am, Logan.”

“I know,” Logan whispers, “I know you are.”

“I’m sorry—“

“Shh, shh,” he soothes, “don’t apologize, little star, it’s okay. I’m not angry. I understand.”

Of course he does. He’s Logan.

“It’s not easy, is it? It never is, it’s just…we have to unlearn things, now.” Logan strokes a hand through his hair. “Sometimes it’s going to be a little harder.”

And Roman is here, in his glade, under his tree, protected by the eyes of the world by the thick forest wall, and he wants.

He wants to throw his arms around Logan and hang on for dear life. He wants this pit in his stomach to fill to bursting and disappear forever. He wants everything to stop, right here, so he can live here forever.

What comes out instead is: “…can you hold onto me?”

Logan nods instantly. “How much?”

“…like I might fall off the face of the earth if you let go?”

“Can that happen,” Logan asks even though he’s already moving.

“Not if you hold on.”

A chuckle rumbles through the warm chest as Roman’s cheek comes to rest against the soft fabric. “Then I’d better hold on tightly.”

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northlight14 · 3 years

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A love for love

Description: Roman loved love. He always had, even as a small child. So why was it so different whenever he was involved?

TW: panic attack, mention of making out but nothing is actually shown, cursing, questioning, unrequited love, let me know if I should add anything else

Ships: unrequited royality, platonic roceit, dukeceit

Genre: high school au

Prompt: prompt 6, aromantic (prompt by @pridewrite2021)

Roman loved love. He always had. Even as a small child, he'd watch wide eyed as Prince Charming leaned down and gave sleeping beauty true loves kiss, something so powerful that it was able to break an evil witches curse. He'd stayed up till early hours in the morning, squealing with excitement as he read about two warriors able to take on an entire army, motivated by their want to keep the other safe and stealing glances at each other as their metal swords collided with the enemies weapon. He'd sing his heart out when a romance song came on the radio, gushing about their love interest with such emotion that Roman adored.

Yes, Roman loved love.

So why was it so different whenever he was involved?

The earliest memory Roman had of this was when he was in first grade. Two of his classmates ran up to him giggling as they sang "Savannah has a crush on you!" Instead of feeling that overwhelming joy like the ones described in his books and music, he felt a deep cutting disgust in his stomach. Roman felt less like he could conquer the world and more like the world was going to swallow him whole. Rather than singing any great love song that he'd sang so many times in his room or in the car, he began crying instead while the two girls looked at him in confusion.

"It was just because I don't like her." Roman told himself.

But this feeling of being out of place only grew as his fellow classmates gushed about their boyfriends and girlfriends, crushes and which cartoon character they find cute. Granted, they were in second and third grade, so the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" roughly translated to "they let me borrow their crayon at break once and now we're in love and going to get married." However, this love for love spread like a virus and Romans desire to fit in only grew. So, during a sleepover with his friends, Roman looked upon the TV, at the princess Aurora and decided 'She'd make a good crush.' Before announcing it to the crowd of toddlers, the words immediately sounding wrong as he spoke them, as if he'd spoken them in a foreign language. He decided that night to never speak of his supposed "crush" ever again. Roman liked Aurora with Prince Philip much more, anyway.

Roman was in fifth grade when he was talking to one of his best friends, Valorie. The two of them just laughing and joking when his friends approached.

"Who's your girlfriend, Ro?" one laughed, putting his arm around Roman. And he knew it was a joke. He knew that. But it still felt like the arm hadn't wrapped around his shoulders and instead knocked all the air out his lungs in one hard punch. This moment lingered in his mind like a haunting apparition, quickly causing any friendships with girls to become strained. First only talking occasionally while in class or on the yard, to only talking when his guy friends weren't around, to only texting outside of school to nothing at all. Roman mourned these friendships but it had been made clear that boys and girls couldn't just be friends and the idea of people thinking he was dating any of these people made him feel like a caged bird.

Later that year Roman decided, despite his love for love, he didn't want to date. The reason for this being...

"I'm just more focused on my career."

"I just don't see the point in dating right now."

"I've never really liked anyone so what's the point?"

"I just like being more focused on myself."

And any other excuse he could possibly come up with, repeating them as many times as he needed to to believe them. Roman had always been a good actor, after all. But, of coarse, with this supposed decision came "reassurance" from adults, as if they had the ability to see the future.

"You just haven't met the right person, yet."

"You'll change your mind one day, when you get a bit older."

"All kids say that at your age."

"Roman isn't interested in dating YET."

These invalidating promises made Romans blood boil the more he heard them. It was as if he was yelling while trapped in a soundproof box, unable to escape. But, despite what seemingly everyone around him was saying, Roman knew deep down that romance just wasn't for him.

He also remained thankful that this love for love hadn't infected his friendship too much.

That was until seventh grade when what was originally a few cases of a love for love became an epidemic. It seemed that all anyone wanted to know was "do you have a crush on her?" "Did you hear that Lily and Reese are going out?" "Do you find her attractive?" This soon made its way over to his friends as they talked about how hot the girls were and teased each other relentlessly about who they liked. Roman once again felt like an outsider in his friend group. His friends conversations about their girlfriends may as well have been spoken in Latin.

Then the day came when his twin brother, Remus, came out as gay and started dating a guy named Janus. It then occurred to Roman.

"Maybe the reason I haven't been feeling anything for all these girls was because they were girls! Maybe I like boys instead!" Roman had never been a very logical person but this definitely seemed to make more sense. If he didn't like women then that surely must mean that he liked men instead, right? Because otherwise...otherwise Roman didn't know what that meant.

So Roman tried. Really God damn tried to find boys cute, to fantasize about dating them, to relate to gay experiences. But all he was met with was the same foreign and hollow feeling he'd felt when he lied about having a crush back in 2nd grade. Roman quickly began feeling his love for the concept of love diminish.

So when Roman entered grade 9, he decided to put anything to do with his romantic feelings (or lack there of) in a little box in the back of his mind to deal with later. Instead putting his passion and good acting skills to use by joining his schools drama department. The moment he stepped foot on stage, he felt himself come alive. The crowd, the praise, the creativity, it was addicting.

And it was only made better with the more friends he made. There was one person who he grew partially close to. Patton Heart. The two quickly became best friends, often hanging out outside of rehearsals and texting non stop. And, for the first time in what seemed like years, Roman was happy and comfortable.

That was until 10th grade. Roman way lying on his bed watching Netflix on his phone when a message from Patton came through. Roman clicked on the message and was caught massively off guard as he read it.

Patton: hey, Roman. So I've been thinking a lot lately. In particular about us and about you. And over the past few months I've started to realize that I have a really big crush on you. You're really handsome, funny and talented and I love spending time with you. It's totally ok if you don't like me back, but I figured it's better to be honest.

It should've been it. The moment when one of the main characters confesses their feelings for the love interest and they proclaim they feel the same way. Sparks fly and their hearts beat faster with excitement. It all becomes so clear when they hear that confession in movies and books.

But this wasn't a movie.

Roman felt time stand still as he read the message, his hands shaking so much he didn't think he would be able to respond even if he knew how to answer.

He couldn't breath. Why couldn't he breath?! The edges of his vision went fuzzy as he desperately gasped for air.

"Patton's great." He thought through his suffocating panic. "He's funny and charming and sweet. You should like him. Why don't you like him? What's wrong with you?!" Romans thoughts yelled as he tried desperately to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.

Not sure of what else to do, Roman ran to Remus' room, hoping he'd know how to respond.

Roman knocked on his brothers door and Remus responded with a very annoyed "come in" after a few beats of silence. Remus and Janus were sat on Remus' bed and Roman could tell from their slightly red lips that the two had been making out. But he wasn't in the headspace to even pretend to care that he'd interrupted them right now.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Remus said, clearly too irritated by his brothers presence to notice his distress.

"P-Patton just messaged me s-saying he likes me and I don't know what to say." Roman barely stuttered out, trying desperately not to cry in front of Remus and his boyfriend.

"Aw, cute. Roro finally got a man." Remus joked but Roman was definitely not in the mood for that kind of humor.

"Do you like him back?" Janus asked, calmly, clearly taking more notice of Romans distress.

"Well, I do. But not like that."

"Ok, so just tell him that. It doesn't have to be this whole thing. Why are you getting so upset?" Remus said, looking at Roman as if he was stupid.

Which, to be fair, Roman did feel very stupid right now.

"He's my best friend. I don't want to upset him." Yeah, that was the reason Roman was freaking out. He just didn't want to hurt Patton. That was it.

"Well, just say you don't want a relationship right now or some shit. Besides, he's probably more worried now because you've taken so long to answer." Remus pointed out. Yeah, Roman was never coming to Remus with his problems ever again.

"Yeah...ok." Roman said. Slowly, he walked out the room, noticing Janus looking at him curiously but deciding not to focus on it.

Roman: I'm really sorry Patton, but I don't feel the same way. We can still be friends tho. It doesn't have to be awkward between us. Especially because I really like being friends with you.

Patton: Yeah, that's ok. This is kinda what I was expecting to be honest. But yeah, I still wanna stay friends.

A few days later Janus came over again for dinner. Afterwards, Roman went into the living room and sat on the couch, scrolling through Instagram.

To his surprise, Janus followed after him and sat next to him. "So, how are you feeling after a few days ok. Broken his heart yet?" Janus teased.

Roman huffed out a laugh. "Uh, yeah, we agreed to just stay friends. Which I'm happy about but it's also really weird. I honestly don't know where we go from here which sucks because I really like Patton. Just not like...that." Janus nodded in understanding.

"You must care about him a lot if you had a panic attack just because you didn't want to hurt his feelings." Janus said. Roman just shrugged in response. "So, does that mean you like someone else?" Janus asked.

"No...I. I don't know. I've...I've never really liked anyone. I don't think I ever will. And people say I'll change my mind but...it isn't like I've made a choice. I've felt like this my whole life and everyone around me has had a crush on someone by now. I just... don't think I was built for romance. Which I know probably sounds stupid but that's just how I feel." He said, so honest it almost hurt.

Janus nodded slowly, taking in what Roman was saying. "It doesn't sound stupid." He said before pausing, as if considering his next choice of words. "Roman...have you ever heard of the term aromantic?" He asked.

"No." Roman answered, looking at Janus curiously.

"It basically means someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction. So they don't get crushes and stuff like that." He explained.

Roman felt his heart leap and for once it wasn't because of a fight or flight reflex. "Wait, that's a thing?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, a surprising number of people identify with it. I don't want to assume anything but I thought I might mention it just from what you've told me and what Remus has said in the past. Plus that panic on your face yesterday reminded me a bit of when I tried to force myself into romantic situations with girls." Janus smirked to himself.

That night Roman researched more on aromanticism than he did for his science test. The more he searched, the more it just made sense. Of coarse, he still had a long way to go towards self acceptance. Roman could feel himself already starting to mourn the idea that this was a choice he'd made ages ago and he was going to feel romantic love one day. It was an odd feeling, realizing that even though he knew deep down it wasn't a decision and he'd always hated when people made those comments, a part of him took comfort in adults promising that he'd change his mind one day. He was also horrified to realize that he didn't know what his future was supposed to look like now without romance. After all, media seemed to show single middle aged adults exclusively as depressed and lonely. But as he scoured through wiki articles to tumblr pages to memes, he knew this was a good start to unlearning any nonsense society had been shoving down his throat.

The more Roman learned and the more people he talked to online about it, the more he started to feel his love for love increase. But instead of it being centered on a prince and princess in a movie, two in love warriors keeping each other alive in a book or a cheesy love song on the radio, it was a different type of love Roman was finally starting to feel the more he accepted himself.

Self love.

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tomtenadia · 3 years

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Island Dreams - Chapter 31

Hello everyone.

Chapter 31 is finally here. I am sorry it took me a bit longer to post it, considering that the story is fully written... I have started another Rowaelin and in the past few days I had much fun writing that one and almost forgot I still had this one to finish. I am not saying anything about this chapter because it's a surprise but it's pure undiluted fluff.

I hope you'll love it.

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It was the beginning of August and Aelin had convinced Rowan to let her stay in the shop. Her mother would arrive in a couple of days and she had been alone at home for most of the time during the day. Rowan would go home during his lunch break to check on her and Lysandra would be with her on some of her days off. After she begged and pleaded and told him he was cruel to leave a pregnant woman all alone, in the end Rowan had caved and took her to work with him. She was now happily sitting on the comfy chair at the end of the shop and flipping through a kids book “What would you do if Lys gets the job?” Lysandra had finally got an interview for a job at the hospital and that day she was not at work because she had gone to the interview. “I will find an assistant. Although no one is as perfect as you and Lys.” Aelin was about to reply when sharp pain spread through her belly. She had been feeling funny all day but now she was suddenly in pain. Rowan was at her side in a second “Are you okay, what is happening?”

Aelin was folded over, holding her bump and breathing through the atrocious pain. “Are you having contractions?” “No, no this can’t be happening…” she managed through gritted teeth. “I need to get the car as close as possible. Stay here please. I’ll lock the shop.” Rowan ran out of the shop and Aelin sat back against the back of the chair practicing the breathing exercises she had learned at antenatal classes. She was half way through a breathing session when she felt something wet trickle between legs. “Fuck.” She swore when she realised her waters just broke. She was not ready. They had the birth all planned in two weeks. That was not the plan. She grabbed her phone and dialled Malcolm’s number. “Hey stranger, checking up on me?” Aelin did not reply straight away. “Mal…” she breathed out heavily “tell Yrene to be ready. Rowan and I will be on our…” she folded in two as pain spread again through her belly “the girls are coming.” “Are you okay? Are you in labour?” “No, I am in pain for pure fun.” Another breath “Of course I am in labour.” In that instant Rowan came back “I did manage to get the car round the corner.” He noticed her on the phone “Is that Mal?” Aelin nodded, not being able to talk. Rowan grabbed the phone “Mal, I am taking Aelin at the hospital right now. Tell Yrene to be ready. Looks like the girls have other plans.” He listened to the man on the other side and closed the call and passed the phone back to Aelin. “Let’s go.” He helped her stand “I asked the traffic warden to let me park beside the shop. I explained to them the situation.” “Whitethorn, I don’t care.” She growled. “How far apart are the contractions?” “How do I know? I have other things in my mind right now. So get a move on unless you want your daughters to be born in your shop.” She managed in one go before bending over in pain once again. Quickly they made it to the car and Aelin collapsed into the seat. Rowan was at the wheel in an instant. It took them ten minutes to get to the hospital and Aelin thought she had never felt more horrible pain in her life. Malcolm met them outside the hospital with a wheelchair “Yrene has a room ready for you and she is expecting you.” Then he turned to Rowan “Go, park the car. I’ll take her to the maternity ward.” Once parked the car he ran all the way to the maternity ward and saw Malcolm at the reception “Where is she?” “In her room with Yrene. She is over there.” He pointed at the room “just… wait a couple of minutes, Aelin might want some… privacy.” Rowan started pacing. “Hey, I gotta go back to work. Just keep me posted okay?” Rowan nodded “Thank you.” Once the man was gone, Rowan went back to pacing. A moment later he noticed Yrene leaving the room and the woman walked to him “Aelin is fine. The three of them are fine. They are a bit early but it happens a lot with twins.” Rowan finally started breathing again “She is only 2 cm, so she still has a long way to go and it will be a long day.” “What can I do to help?” He ran a hand through his hair “she is in so much pain and I feel useless.” Yrene put a hand on his arm “Stay with her, is all you can do. Try and keep her mind off the pain. Massage her back.” “Okay.” “I have to go but I will be back in an hour to see how she is doing.” Rowan went into the room and sat on the bed beside her and leaned over for a kiss. Aelin replied and deepened it, pulling him close by grabbing his t-shirt. Rowan was about to pull back and say that it was not appropriate but she kept him close and when her hand grabbed his and placed it on her breast he pulled back.”We are in a hospital.” He protested. “Rowan, love of my life, I am in a fuck load of pain that you have no idea.” She almost growled “Endorphins help with pain and sexual stimulation is a way to release them. So unless you want to put your hand between my legs and give me a good time, you will keep kissing me and play with my boobs until I tell you otherwise. Is that clear?” He leaned forward and kissed her with passion while his hand sneakily palmed her breast and Aelin moaned in satisfaction. “Feeling better?” He asked when he pulled away. She fully collapsed on the pillow “Can you see babies shooting out of my nether parts? So no, I am not better.” And as she said that she groaned through another contraction. “Sit on your knees.” Aelin was about to lash out another snarky remark but he stopped her “Sit on you haunches and turn your back to me.” She did that and Rowan started massaging her lower back. “I am sorry for my nasty comments.” Rowan leaned forward and kissed her neck “Aelin, don’t apologise. I can’t even imagine the level of pain you are in just now. And if making snarky comments helps you let out the frustration, just do it. You are the one doing the hard job. I guess my ego can take a bit of bashing.” “I love you.” She whispered through the pain. “Just because I bring you food.” Aelin laughed and was grateful he was there with her “thank you for being at my side.” “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He continued his massage. “I have so many sinful ideas just now.” A moan escaped her as his hands massaged a very painful spot. “Do you?” He asked while placing chaste kisses along her spine. “So, so sinful…” “Tell me…” And so she did.

It was in the middle of the night when Aelin grabbed Rowan’s hand and pulled him awake. He had fallen asleep on the bed beside her. “Ro…” her voice strained “Call Yrene, please.” And soon after she folded in two in pain, trying very hard not to scream. It was the middle of the night after all. The man jumped off the bed and went to call the doctor. When they came in Yrene went straight to check for Aelin “you did it. You are 10 cm. Are you ready to become a mum?” She grabbed Rowan’s hand and squeezed it hard “I will be here, Fireheart. I am here.” And kissed her head “I love you.” A nurse came in as well and Yrene took her position at the bottom of the bed between Aelin’s legs. Rowan went beside Aelin and took her hand in his “squeeze as much as you need.” Aelin nodded as contractions kept wrecking her body. “Ok Aelin, at the next contraction I need you to try and push as hard as you can.” Aelin screamed as the next contraction came and Rowan helped by pushing her forward. She squeezed his hand hard but he ignored it. She was in far much more pain. He kissed her head and kept silent. He didn’t want to distract her. “Fuck it hurts.” She shouted as she pushed one more time. “I can see the head.” Rowan leaned forward and spotted a tiny head covered in very thin layer of silver hair like his and smiled “It’s a disgusting show but beautiful at the same time.” “Listen to him, waxing poetic about my nether parts being ripped apart by another human being.” Yrene chuckled “you got a few more seconds before the next contraction. Take a deep breath.” Aelin tried but the next contraction came far too soon and lasted to what felt like an eternity. “I can’t do this. Make it stop.” Her head leaned heavily against Rowan’s chest. “Aelin, I have the shoulders out. A couple of more pushes and your first girl is out.” Aelin groaned and pushed and pushed until Yrene said the magical words “she is out.” Rowan froze, he stared at the little bundle in Yrene’s hands and almost cried. “Would like to cut the cord?” Offered Yrene and Rowan accepted eagerly not removing his eyes from his daughter. He was in awe. A doctor took the girl away and Rowan moved closer to Aelin and kissed her deeply “you are amazing.” In the distance they heard the cries of their girl. “She has good lungs.” Joked Aelin, resting for a moment before it was time for round two. Rowan kissed her again, deeper this time and his thumb brushed her cheek.

It was half an hour later when Aelin was ready again and Rowan took his position once more. Aelin started pushing again but Yrene stopped “wait.” “What?” Breathed an exhausted Aelin “get her out.” “She is breech.” “Of course she is.” Rowan brushed sweat off her brow. “It’s quite common in twins.” “What does it mean for the baby?” Asked Rowan worried. “I can deliver her safely, but it might take her a bit longer.” Explained Yrene “At least is the second one, which is a far better outcome.” Aelin went back to pushing following Yrene’s instructions. “I can see her tiny bum.” Said Rowan peeking again. “I feels anything but small, Whitethorn.” She growled through the pain. “She is a bit smaller than her sister and it’s helping.” Continued Yrene explaining what was happening “her feet and legs are now free. The worts part is gone. Again, a couple of pushes and she is out.” Rowan was transfixed, staring at his daughter slowly coming to life. Aelin gave a few final pushes and she eventually collapsed back on the bed, exhausted. Rowan was at her side in a moment after cutting the cord of his second daughter as well. “You did it, mo chridhe.” And kissed her forehead. “Are they okay?” Asked Rowan with apprehension. Yrene nodded. “We are doing some extra check since they are prematures but they are fine. The second one is a bit smaller but nothing to worry about. They are both healthy.” He sat beside Aelin and pulled her close to him, with his arm around her shoulders “You are amazing.” She leaned against his chest, a hand on his heart and he covered the hand with his “I love you.” In that instant two nurses came carrying a bundle each and Aelin was positive Rowan’s eyes were shining with tears. “There is someone who would like to meet you.” They passed one baby to Aelin and Rowan took the other one and Aelin almost laughed, she seemed even smaller in Rowan’s arms. He sat back down, the four of them all close. “They are gorgeous.” Said Rowan who was already in love. One of them cracked her eyes open “they have your green eyes,” then she lifted her tiny wooly hat and noticed the very thin layer of silver hair “they are your clones,” joked Aelin. “We need to decide who is Freyja and who is Morrigan.” Aelin looked at the twins and then at the girl in her arms “I think she is Freyja and you have Morrigan.” “How do you know?” “I just do…” He trusted her “Hi Morrigan,” he kissed the little girl “I am your dad and I love you madly.”

Once Aelin was in a better state, he passed Morrigan back to her and started taking photos of them three. “Your phone is going to be full of photos of our daughters very soon. Please don’t be the type of dad who shows picture of their children to every single person.” “I cannot make any promises. I have two beautiful daughters and I am a very proud dad.” He trafficked with his phone “I sent photos to Mal, Lys, your mum and my aunt.” “Look at you, before I came into your life you didn’t even have a phone and now you can even send pictures in messages and have at least five contacts.” He smiled “Mal says he is coming to visit as soon as he has a break, Lys is running some errands, your mum just said that she is looking forward to see her granddaughters tomorrow and my aunt said she is coming as soon as she closes for the day.” “Come back here with us.” Rowan pocketed his phone and sat back beside her, enveloping Aelin in an embrace. The twins were on her lap and he was playing with one of them “they are so tiny.” “They didn’t feel tiny when I was pushing them out of my nether parts.” Rowan kissed her temple “I am in awe.” Rowan played with Freyja who seemed the most lively of the two. Morrigan was content to be in her mother’s lap and stare up at them both.

Lysandra arrived a few hours later. Aelin was sleeping and Rowan was keeping an eye on the twins who went back to their small crib and they were both sleeping as well after they had been fed and burped. “Hi,” whispered Lysandra when she got in the room and noticed Aelin and the girls sleeping. She moved to the crib and almost squealed. “They are beautiful.” The man gave her an exhausted smile. “Hey, I am free. Go home, have a snooze or a shower. I’ll stay here.” “You don’t have to.” “I know, but I want to. Everyone is sleeping and it looks like you should as well.” Rowan nodded “I have to get clothes for Aelin and the twins anyway.” He stood and gently kissed both girls. Once he was away Lysandra leaned on the crib “you girls are lucky, your mum and dad love you madly.”

***

During one of the first nights they had gotten back home with the twins, Rowan woke up all of a sudden and he thought he heard a sound coming from the baby monitor. Slowly he turned and got off the bed and smiled when he noticed that Aelin was still sleeping. She had been exhausted and needed sleep. He grabbed the baby monitor and walked to the nursery. Freyja was awake while her sister Morrigan was still sleeping soundly. He reached into the crib and grabbed his daughter. Freyja was definitely the one with fire in her and she reminded him a lot of Aelin. She was the loudest and most active. Morrigan had been much calmer and cried much less than her sister and she was the one sleeping the longest during the night. Aelin had joked that they had one each, saying that Morrigan was his clone. “What is it, my love?” He brought Freyja against his shoulder and the girl snuggled against him. He started walking while gently patting her back. He went to the the dresser and grabbed a book and started reading it while walking and holding his daughter. “Shhh… dad is here. Does your tummy hurt?” he kissed her tiny head and after a few more minutes she stopped crying. He put the book down and kept walking while singing her a lullaby in Gaelic. He and Aelin had discussed the whole Gaelic thing and Aelin had begged him to teach the language to their daughters. That had made him very happy. Desperation almost took him when she started crying again “No… shhh…” he went back walking but there was nothing he could do. The book suggested she might hungry as well. But that implied waking up Aelin and he didn’t want to do that but they had no spare milk left for the night, a grave mistake he was going to fix very soon, and he could not stand any longer the sound of his daughter crying. In that instant a figure appeared on the doorstep “I tried but I can’t make her stop.” Aelin stopped in front of him and took Freyja from him “because you don’t have boobs.” She sat on the rocking chair and a moment later Freyja was eating happily. He kneeled at her side and stared at his daughter having her late night snack. He kissed Aelin’s shoulder “I tried not to wake you.” Aelin gave him a sleepy smile “I know, but as I said, I am the one with the boobs and she needs me.” Aelin rocked back on the chair and shifted to a more comfortable position, Rowan still kneeling at her side, restraining himself to caress the baby. Aelin had told him not to disturb the girls while they were eating, so he was juts happy to watch them. “Sing again.” Aelin asked him. His face went pale white. “I heard you and I loved it. Please.” His arm went around Freyja and he leaned his head against Aelin’s arm and started singing the lullaby he had been singing to his daughter. After a few moments Freyja detached from her mother and gurgled happily “my little greedy guts is happy now?” Aelin’s hand brushed the baby’s head. “I’ll burp her,” said Rowan picking up the baby again. Then he went to grab a bib and placed it on his shoulder and let Freyja snuggle against him again “Now, let’s say thank you to mum for dinner.” He grabbed the little girl’s hand and waved it toward Aelin “thanks mom. Dinner was amazing.” He said in a tiny voice and Aelin laughed. Rowan had been just as amazing as she had thought. He had offered to take the night shift for her, he had taken some time off from the shop. They had hired Malcolm’s sister who had proved to be a blessing and allowed him to stay away for a while without worrying. He had been doing all the chores in the house, the cooking and anything else it needed done just to allow her to rest. She had been feeling constantly exhausted and she was still a bit sore. It had only been five days since she had the twins and Yrene had told her it was perfectly normal. So Rowan had reached a new level of fussing and she had let him. Seeing him with his daughters filled her heart with joy. He had been walking back and forth in the room and had started telling Freyja a story filled with dragons, mythical creatures, the usual warriors and the amazing badass female character. She leaned back on the chair and listened to him when she noticed that Morrigan was awake as well “hello my darling girl, do you want to listen to dad as well?” She picked up the girl and hugged her close to her chest “did your sister wake you?” And she kissed her thin layer of silver hair. The baby cooed in response. “Looks like Morrigan wants to listen to the story too.” It was much later when the twins finally went back to sleep and Rowan carried an exhausted Aelin in his arms back to their bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and followed her. Aelin snuggled close to him and hid her face in the crook of his neck inhaling his scent. His arm wrapped around her and one leg draped over hers, enveloping Aelin in a cocoon that she seemed to enjoy very much now that they could snuggle closer again. “Will you finish telling me the story?” Rowan laughed “it was just a silly thing to create white noise for Freyja.” “But I liked it.” She complained kissing his neck in a sexy way. Sex would be off the table for a while but she needed the closeness with him. He shifted his head and she looked up at him “I had a crazy idea.” “Tell me.” She looked into his green eyes. “I was thinking about writing a book. A Fantasy.” “Will I be in it?” Rowan laughed loudly and kissed her on her lips “And who would you like to be, mo chridhe?” “Well, the queen, of course.” “Of course.” “And there has to be a silver haired knight who is a grumpy old man with an ice-like heart who is amazing with a crossbow.” She continued, brushing his hair with her hand. “And I can assume that the above mentioned queen is interested in the warrior?” “Oh yeah. She wants to bang him night and day but he is her captain of the guard. And he hates her because he is common born and her father killed loads of innocents, his family included. Such a tragic past.” “But he still serves her? Fireheart, that doesn’t make sense.” “Well, you are the writer, you fix it. But I am picky about my future man and as a queen I want the best.” He kissed her again, smiling against her lips “I will do my best, your highness.” Her hand sneaked under his t-shirt and brushed his chest and he stopped her hand when it started to wander south “Aelin…” “Just as thank you…” He crushed her to him, her arms blocked between them “there is no need.” She pushed free from him “you don’t find me attractive anymore.” Rowan grabbed her hand and placed it on his heart “I still do. Very, very much.” And he gave her a very deep kiss to prove to her just how much he was attracted to her “When the time is right, I will show you again just how much. But not now. You need to heal and desire might be… lacking.” “Yeah but my hands or mouth do not need to heal.” Another kiss “when we will be able to be together that way again I want all of you. And although I appreciate your… ministrations… I want the whole thing. Which means I can wait.” Aelin chuckled “you are such a strange man” she told him “another male would have taken anything. You on the other hand…” “You should know by now that I am weird.” “And I love you even more for that.”she kissed him “just don’t hog the shower too much.” And she winked at him. Rowan pulled her closer again, feeling the need for contact with her “I still find you as stunning as the day you walked into my shop and took my breath away.”

A couple of week had passed since the twins had entered their lives and Rowan never felt more tired in his life. Sleep had become a luxury and he did his best as well to be useful in the house and also help Aelin with the girls. It was a Saturday and he had let Aelin go with Lysandra and have a girls day the two of them and Aelin wanted to go and started to get her wedding dress ready. The wedding was only a month away and they had been busy. He had offered to take the twins for the day and now he was strolling through the Lews castle grounds with the pram and the twins in it. Both girls were awake and cooing happily. He took the path along the coastline and got away from the town and sat down on a bench the pram in front of him. “Do you want to see the sea?” He asked them. He grabbed Freyja, the girls had a blue dress with a big sunflower on, courtesy of Lysandra who had been spoiling the twins with cute clothes. He took the girl in his arms and she leaned against him. Rowan laughed, she had been dribbling all over her dress. He grabbed the bib and dried her mouth “you are messy, are you? Dribbling all over Aunt Lys’ dress.” He kissed her head and the little one gave him a tiny smile. Then he put her back down and grabbed Morrigan and the girl gave him a big toothless smile “you like it, eh?” And he kissed her as well. He put Morrigan back in the pram and kept walking enjoying the lovely day. Summer had been lingering a bit longer that year and he was hoping that it would resist a bit longer so they could have a dry wedding. Walking along the coast he started telling the girls stories of pirates and epic battles at sea until the twins fell asleep, entangled in each other arms as they had been doing every single day. A couple of passerby stopped to talk to him and have a look at the twins and he felt a swell of pride in showing off his daughters. Until he noticed a figure in the distance. She was running. That was new. The woman recognised him and stopped and walked toward him. “Hi, Ro.” “Hi Lyria.” “Is that your new job? Babysitting kids?” She asked, removing the headphones from her ears. “I am taking my daughters for a stroll.” Lyria’s face froze “your daughters. As in yours and hers?” “Her name is Aelin and yes, they are our daughters.” “What were you thinking?” “Excuse me?” Rowan’s temper was rising. “You have known the woman for what, a year? And you already have kids?” She brushed a hand through her brown hair “are you that desperate for affection and a family that you would settle for the first woman who was willing to take you?” Rowan breathed in. Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman. His hands fisted on the handle of the pram “I am happy, Lyria. I finally have a woman who truly loves me. And now I have two daughters as well. I have all I need.” “Gee Whitethorn, since when you are such a sappy romantic, boring old man? What happened to you?” Freyja started crying and he lifted her in his arms and rocked her gently until she stopped. Lyria finally looked at the girl “she looks like you.” “Yes, but Freyja is fiery like her mother. Morrigan is more like me.” “Morrigan? Do you hate your daughter that much?” Rowan ignored her and concentrated on his daughter “shhh go back to sleep. We’ll keep walking in a second.” He kissed her head and put her back in the pram with her sister. “So how is fatherhood treating you? Any regrets?” Rowan glared at her “why would I have any regrets? Aelin and I did not plan this but we were both happy when we found out. No regrets. We wanted this. Both of us.” “Are you mad at me because I did not want kids?” Rowan groaned “No. It was your choice and I respect it. I am civilised enough to know that this is not something all women want and I respect it. But I did. And I am glad that things ended the way they did because in the end we wanted different things and forcing the other to take a road against their will would have ended badly. I loved you, but it was not meant to be.” He concluded and felt relieved all of a sudden it was as if he was finally reaching closure. “Well, I have a man now. He is a lawyer and happy to spoil me to no end. We have a big house and we travel a lot. And he does not want a family.” “Well, good for you. If that’s what you want then it’s fine. I am glad you finally have the right man and right life for you.” She took a step toward him “I loved you, you know?” Rowan shook his head “I think you loved the spotlight more.” He added “after my injury you changed with me.” “You became difficult to deal with.” “I was in pain, Lyria. Rehab was hell and I had lost my shot at competing in the Olympics. Forever.” He almost shouted back “not once I got a bit of support from you. We were engaged and not once I had support from my fiancee.” “What did you want, a red carpet?” She snapped back. “No. Just you. I wanted you.” He brushed a hand through his hair “You know what? It doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past. Fighting now is pointless.” Both girls started to cry and Rowan rocked the pram “I need to go.” “Fine, go, have your perfect life with your perfect woman.” “I wish you all the best, Lyria. I wish you the life you always wanted.” And he walked away. Lyria was stuck on the spot staring at him walking away with the pram and his words rang true in her ears. Yes, they had wanted different things and in the end it had been for the best.

Rowan kept walking, the twins had gone back to sleep as soon as the pram started moving again and he was deep in thought. “That was Lyria,” he sad to his girls “your dad once loved her. But don’t worry, now I love only your mum.” Freyja spat out her her pacifier and Rowan put it back before she started crying again. He saw the afternoon ferry coming in and he stopped looking at it while it got closer to the port. Freyja was awake again and he lifted her in his arms and the little girl snuggled against him “You mum took that ferry,” he said pointing at the big boat and she looked at him “She travelled from far away and arrived here and then came to see dad.” He kissed her tiny head “She was beautiful. She still is. Don’t listen to her when she complains. She still makes dad’s knees go jelly.” And he laughed “she is fierce, intelligent and stubborn and she makes me so happy. Just as you and your sister do.” Gently he bounced his daughter and the girl cooed happily. His phone pinged and awkwardly he grabbed it from his pocket “look, mum is checking on us.” Freyja made a cute noise and then decided that eating her hand was more interesting. He lifted the phone and took a photo of him and Freyja and sent it to Aelin then added that Morrigan was having an affair with the pillow and sleeping happily. Holding his daughter, he kept walking pushing the pram. The phone pinged again but this time it was Aedion. The man was free and since Lys was with Aelin he had asked to meet up. Rowan had explained where he was and now was waiting for the man to join him. He noticed Aedion’s blonde mop of hair half an hour later. “Look Freyja, uncle Aedion is coming.” Aedion joined them and kissed the little girl “hello gorgeous.” Then took the girl from Rowan’s arms. In that instant Morrigan decide to wake up and Rowan picked her up “look who has decided to join the party.” Morrigan smiled to her dad and she snuggled in the crook of his neck. “Any news from our girls?” “Aelin texted me saying she and Lys are having fun shopping and that her wedding dress is now officially in the works.” “Good,” said Aedion bouncing Freyja “I think they needed some time together.” “Aelin needed to get out of the house.” Freyja made some noises and Aedion laughed “you are wonderful.” Aedion kissed her head “Uncle Aedion will spoil you rotten.” Rowan laughed. They were both leaning against the wall when they noticed a few women throwing glances in their direction and smiling. Some of them even stopped talking and playing with the girls. “Ro?” “I know. They are chicks magnets.” He joked. They both laughed “we are both men in two very committed relationship and with two very jealous partners.” “Hey, I love Lys. It took me ages to get her, I am not letting her go.” “Good, Lys is a great woman.” Rowan added. “She is incredible.” And he smiled “Your aunt is super awesome, you know? Just as fierce as your mum.” Freyja replied with a soft noise “Do you think I should ask her to marry me? What do you think, Freyja?” Rowan’s eyes popped in surprise “Really?” “Maybe in a bit but yeah, why not?” “If you are sure, go for it.” Replied Rowan lifting Morrigan to his face “Lovely. We have a code brown.” He declared. “Now, that’s a part of fatherhood I am not looking forward to.” “There is no escaping it.” Rowan put Morrigan back in the pram and took Freyja back as well “let’s go to my aunt. Text our women and see if they are done and want to meet us there.” “Yes sir.” They started walking back into town where Aelin and Lysandra had agreed to meet them. They arrived in town and went straight to Maeve’s and Rowan ran for the bathrooms. Morrigan was now sobbing heavily. Aelin and Lysandra arrived in the cafe not long after and both went straight to the pram “I am missing a man and a daughter.” Said Aelin looking around the place. “Code brown,” explained Aedion. A moment later Maeve joined them and went straight to her great niece “hello my darling.” Rowan returned ten minutes later with a Morrigan who had finally stopped crying but her eyes were still puffy. “No, my love, come here.” Rowan passed the girl to her mother and kissed Aelin. “Did you have a good time with them?” She asked him. “Wonderful, didn’t we girls?” And he grabbed Freyja’s hand. Their order arrived and they began eating and chatting away and Aelin started telling Rowan all about the dress without going into too many details. Until Freyja began fussing and Aelin knew she was hungry again. Apparently her daughter was a bottomless pit like her. She took a small blanket and draped it around herself and brought her daughter against her chest to feed her. She knew Maeve had no issues with her breastfeeding and the woman had made it abundantly clear. But on a few occasions she had encountered some resistance. “The blanket is stupid.” Growled Lysandra “they all love a pair of boobs, but if a child is attached to them, all of a sudden is outrageous.” She said a bit too loudly. “Lys, please. I know, but I am too tired to argue.” “Well, I am not.” And Lysandra crossed her arms around her chest. Aelin loved her friend. They could be both stubborn and fierce at the same level. Aedion took her hand “calm down.” “No.” She replied stubbornly “Society sucks. Breastfeeding is natural. And it infuriates me that a woman has to hide her child under a blanket as if it’s something to be ashamed of.” Aelin laughed at her friend’s rant and it took her down to memory lane. To a time when they were much younger and still med students. When they would join marches in London for human rights, for women’s rights. They also attended a few gay prides. Aelin had to stop once she started going out with Chaol. He had mentioned to her that he could not afford to have a girlfriend attending marches and protests. For a while she rebelled then when once they almost got arrested they had decided to calm down. “Lys is just reliving her old days as a proper protester.” Joked Aelin and Lysandra’s eyes shined in joy. Rowan and Aedion looked at them with concern. “When Aelin and I were still students we loved to join marches and protests in London. Anything that had to do with achieving equality and more rights, we were there. We have also a few gay prides under our belts.” “I had no idea…” said Aedion who had known both of them for a long time. “I think I am falling in love all over again.” Admitted Rowan kissing Aelin. “I think we shocked our two men.” Added Aelin. Rowan took Freyja from her and went for a walk to burp her. “He is adorable with the girls.” Commented Lysandra staring at Rowan walking around the cafe to burp his daughter. “So did you get the dress?” Asked Aedion curiously. Aelin nodded and took out her phone and showed him some pictures “this is just a drawing, but it gives you an idea, and they are Rowan’s colours.” “You are going to look wonderful.” He commented then turned to Lys. “I have a dress but I am not showing you any pictures. It’s a surprise.” “You are not the one getting married.” He protested. “Still, I am not showing you.” “She is gorgeous.” Added Aelin, patting the man’s hand “just please don’t leave the wedding too early to make me an aunt.” The couple laughed. A few minutes later Rowan came back and once Freyja was down they had to do everything all over again as Morrigan woke up for her lunch. The four of them spent the afternoon together. Rowan and Aedion took the two women for ice cream and enjoyed the summer day down at the park until it began to get a bit late and Rowan and Aelin declared it was time for them to get back home and tuck the twins in bed.

It was much later in the day and Rowan and Aelin were in the nursery. They had just put their daughters to bed after being fed, burped and changed. Aelin was standing near the crib and Rowan had his arms around her waist, her back pressed against his chest and kissed her behind the ear “they are perfect.” She squeezed his hand on her belly “I love them so much.” Rowan kissed her again and then both stayed in silence staring at the twin sleeping peacefully. Rowan sighed “I met Lyria today.” It had been nothing but he did not want to hide anything from her. Aelin turned to face him “where?” “At Lews castle grounds. I was walking with the twins and she appeared.” “And?” Rowan sighed again “she called me crazy for having children already. And then same old story, my fault she stopped loving me, I changed after the injury. And she bragged that she finally has a man who spoils her and is not obsessed with family.” Aelin hugged him “her loss, my gain.” “She always makes me pass like the bad guy.” He said angrily but whispering not to wake the twins. Aelin grabbed his hand and dragged him to their bedroom. “Go on, let it go.” Rowan paced back and forth and the groaned in frustration “I proposed because as a bloody moron I thought we were in love. Once we were over she told me that I only thought about having a family and she felt trapped in something she did not want.” He kept pacing “I never ever pushed her. We had the discussion once. One time and at the time she told me she wanted it too. Then all of a sudden I am this oppressive ogre of a man.” Aelin let him pace, she felt that he needed to get that put of his chest. “And then she had the guts to tell me I settled for the first woman who was willing to give me the affection and the family I craved like the desperate man I am according to her.” “She said what?” Shouted Aelin outraged “How dare she? Who made the bitch the fucking queen of the world, giving her power to judge people like that?” Aelin was now shouting and when she turned to Rowan she noticed pain in his eyes and it enraged her that that horrible woman still had the power to break him. She walked to him and folded her arms around him “I wanted all of this, Ro. With you.” She felt him shudder in her arms “My parents loved each other,” she heard him whisper against her neck “they loved me and they did their best to prove it every single day. I lost them a long time ago but I still miss them. I lost my family early.” She kissed his head “why do I need to feel bad for wanting my own? And to have kids to love the same way my parents loved me?” His confession almost broke her heart “there is nothing wrong, mo chridhe, and I am positive that your parents are very proud of how much you care for your daughters.” She squeezed him tight and she felt his shudders slowly stop “Next time I see her, nothing will stop me from punching her. I swear I’ll kick her arse so badly she won’t be able to sit for a week.” Rowan finally laughed “my Fireheart.” He lifted Aelin in his arms and he walked to the bed where he put her down and then stretched at her side and Aelin curled up against him. One arm draped over her side and with the other he pulled the blankets over them. “I am curious to see you in your wedding dress.” She kissed him “all I can tell you is that I am still hot.” “I have no doubts.” “I got cute dresses for the girls. I forgot to show them to you. They are purple and blue as well, so they follow your tartan colours. They are adorable.” “Tomorrow.” He added squishing her to his chest “now we need to sleep. We don’t know when out two terrors will wake up again.” “That is a great plan, my love.” She kissed his nose and within ten minutes they both were asleep in each others arms.

TAG:

@rowaelinismyotp

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #rowanwhitethorn #fanfic #rowaelinkids #dadrowanisthesexiest #Throne of Glass series

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choerrypuffs · 3 years

Note

My god im so sorry for the long ask im about to send BUT!! My phone wont let me reblog the last demigod series fic and i for sure want to give a feedback of sorts but TLDR: I LOVED IT SO MUCHHHH!!!

Okay so! First of all We love some good enemies to lovers™ and also adored the references used of the other series likeeeee its so funny 😩 and the way Cat and Moon were portrayedk I WAS LAUGHING SO MUCH!! Like im really reading this giggling ro myself in my bedroom like a highschool girl.

Also omg can i Just say that the confession at the end was so beautiful, like it felt like a Mr.Darcy confession of sorts in a "i love you most ardently" of sorts that idiot i want to hug him 😭😭💖 .

ALSO!!! I think I've said ir before but you write in a way that both someone who's read the books and someone who hasn't can understand rhe vibes and why is it important to the storyline and like when MrD called jeno Jason i was like 👀👀

AND JAEHYUN PULLING A LUKE MADE ME SO 😳😳😩😤🤣🤣 CUZ LIKE I WASN'T EXPECTING IT HE WAS A GOOD BROTHER OR SO I THOUGHT??? It was a very girlboss thing for you to do.

I think this is all, I'm very sorry if nothing mase sense I've been running on 5 hours of sleep and it's past midnight, but i genuinely enjoyed it so thank you so much for creating 💖 have a nice dayyy sending you lots of love

no please don't apologize!! thank you so much for taking the time to leave feedback!! 🥺💖 i'm so happy you liked the fic <3333

YESSSS ENEMIES TO LOVERS IS THE SUPERIOR TROPE IT WILL NEVER GET OLD FOR ME EVERYONE ELSE CAN PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS 🤧😩 i'm glad you enjoyed the easter eggs, my love!! i was in over my head trying to make sure everything lined up and also trying to remember all the references i made in the other fics 💀 don't look too close bc i most definitely forgot stuff FDJLSL

omfg you have no idea how honored i am that you would compare my fic to the MASTERPIECE that is pride and prejudice 😩 i've watched the 2005 film a billion times and i even referenced the hand flex scene in jaemin's demigods fic i am obsessed with p&p so much !! thank you for one of the greatest compliments i've ever received 🧎‍♀️

AHHH OMG I'M SO HAPPY YOU NOTICED MY JASON REFERENCE 🤩🤩🤩 yes i always try my best to make sure people that aren't familiar with pjo are able to read my fics as well bc people have told me they read them even if they haven't read the books which is incredibly kind of them to do so <3333

LMFAOOOOOO gaslight gatekeep girlboss after all ♥ yes jaehyun was meant to be the traitor pretty early on in the process though i did consider other members as well 👀

omg please get some sleep, my love!! thank you again for leaving such kind feedback and i hope you have a great day!! 💗💗💗

#ask #answered #suhnnyskiess

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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 4 years

Text

Discord pt 50

[Date: 25/02, 6.59 PM - 25/02, 07.51 PM GMT]

[‘Puppet’ from the Ib OST is playing in the VC.]

fetch: “:)”

Prince: “Oh! Crown said this was a good song! He says it reminds him of being a kid again! Don't you guys think so?

:)”

fetch: “YOU RE R I GHT PR INCE ! TH IS JS A VE R Y G OOD S ONG .” [You’re right Prince! This is a very good song.]

Prince: “I like it! It makes me feel all happy inside :)”

fetch: “TH OUG H ITS A L ITT LE F AST ER TH AN WH AT I U SUALL Y L IS TE N TO . N IG HT COR E HA AHA AHA .” [Though it’s a little faster than what I usually listen to. Nightcore haahaaha.]

Prince: “It is a little fast, but it's very nice :D”

Prince: “It makes me kinda sleepy :) How about you, fetch? :)”

fetch: “I GU ESS A L I TT LE HA HAA . B UT I GOT PL ENTY OF SL EE P LAS T N IGH T!” [I guess a little hahaa. But I got plenty of sleep last night!]

IM SO ENE ER GIZED AND R E ADY FO R THE D A Y” [I’m so energized and ready for the day]

donti: “Isn’t too much sleep a little bad for someone?”

Prince: “I don't think so :) It's nice to sleep. You don't have to think about all the things that might be stressing you out :)”

fetch: “I AG REE PR INC E . SL EE P IS NNI CE B UT D OGS CA NT S LE EP ALL D A Y ! THAT S A CAT TH ING TO DO L OL” [I agree, Prince. Sleep is nice but dogs can’t sleep all day! That’s a cat thing to do lol]

[‘No One in Sight’ from the Ib OST starts playing on loop]

fetch: “N OT AS G OOD AS THE LA ST ONE B UT S TILL A BOP” [Not as good as the last one but still a bop]

Prince: “Oh! This one is nice, too! Relaxing, like you’re outside listening to the breeze~”

Prince: “I can put on the other one again! :D”

[fetch: “ HM . TH ANF YOU PR INCE BU T I LIKE VA RIE TY SOM E TIME S :)” [Hm. Thank you, Prince, but I like variety sometimes]]

Prince: “Oh, ok :)”

fetch: “IM H APP Y TO SEE C R OWN ANS W E RIN G T H IN GS! YO U M UST BE H APPY T O O” [I’m happy to see Crown answering things! You must be happy too]

[donti: How had your day been so far Prince, while you’re here? This music really gets me in a convering mood.]

Prince: “It's been great! everything is fine :)“

fetch: “TH AT S GOO D :D” [That’s good :D]

[donti: Thats nice to know! How’s everyone in the court doing?”]

Prince: “Everyone is doing well :D i miss Knight, though... He hasn't been around in a while.”

fetch: “AW SADGE D: I H OPE Y OU F IND Y OUR KN IG HT BUD D Y SOON !” [Aw Sadge D: I hope you find your Knight buddy soon!]

[donti: Oh no! did something happen? Do you know where he is?

Prince: “No... He just... Went away one day... Crown said he'll find him for us and bring him home again, though, so it's ok! :)“

fetch: “AW HA HA HA H OW N ICE OF. H IM :) :) :)” [Aw hahaha how nice of. him]

[‘BGM008′ from the Ib OST starts playing]

[Povas: “Where did you last see knight?”]

Prince: “Um...Here, I think :)”

fetch: “O H G OOD SON G [Oh good song]

TH IS MAK ES THE FUN NY PIA NO T INK Y NOIS E” [This makes the funny piano tinky noise]

Prince: “I like the tinky noise too! :D”

Povas: “Why is it giving me a sense of dread?”

fetch: “I DK WHA T YOU M EAN BY D R EAD :/ ? IT S OUND S F INE TO M E !” [Idk what you mean by dread :/? It sounds fine to me!]

Prince: “Yeah! I think it's lovely! :)”

Povas: “It might just be me”

fetch: “PR OBAB LY Y OU LOL :D” [Probably you lol :D]

[donti: “Hm, change of music aside, whatcha been up to?”]

Prince: “Not much has been happening :) I just like to listen to music here. You can't be sad if there's nothing to make you upset, you know? :)”

[fetch [responding to donti]: “WH O ME ? OR PR INC E ?” [Who, me? Or Prince?]

donti: “Either or! I care about both of you :D”

fetch: “OH IM D OI NG GR E AT :D APP A RE NT LY M I SS E D D INN E R LA S T N IGHT SO M ONA (G OOD GO OD F RIEND MO NA) L EFT OUT A BR EA KF AS T FOR M E TO M UN CH WHI LE SHE WE NT TO W O RK” [Oh I’m doing great :D Apparently missed dinner last night so Mona (good good friend Mona) left out a breakfast for me to munch while she went to work]

[fetch: “HAV E BEEN VE RY TH IRST Y SO D RINK ING W AT ER” [Have been very thirsty so drinking water]]

Prince: “That's good! Drink plenty of water and eat plenty of food and get plenty of sleep! Crown would want you at your best :D”

fetch: “Y E AH :) TO AST WITH RO SE PET AL J AM M M AND GO OD C E R EAL” [Yeah :) toast with rose petal jammm and good cereal]

[‘The Little Doll's Dream’ from the Ib OST starts playing]

fetch: “OO OO O GUITAR R R [ooooo guitarrr]

I LI KE GU IT AR” [I like guitar]

[donti: Prince, you have a very wide range of music in here! Where did you find so many songs?”]

Prince: “Oh, i just like to listen to a lot of things! These songs are from a game called Ib! You should play it :)“

[fetch: “IT I S A VER Y F UN G AME ! GARRY IS MY F AVOR I TE CH AR ACTER” [It is a very fun game! Garry is my favorite character]]

Prince: “Garry is my favorite, too! he's so nice! :D”

Bea (she/her): “I've heard of that game before. What's it about?”

[fetch: “A G IRL GO ES TO AN A RT ME USE UM AND THE N SHI T GE TS F UCKED LOL PAI NTINS COM E TO L IFE N S H JT” [A girl goes to an art museum and then shit gets fucked lol]]

Prince: “I guess... But i'd describe it a little differently...”

[”Inquiry” from the Ib OST starts playing]

fetch: “I M EAN AIN T THAT WH AT HAP PENS LOL” [I mean ain’t that what happens lol]

Prince: “A girl named Ib goes to an art exhibit and ends up in finding herself inside a painting! She meets a nice man named Garry and they have to make their way out together! There's lots of different endings and lots of puzzles! :)”

fetch: “MY DE S C RI PT ION W AS BE T TER LOL” [My description was better lol]

donti: “Oh! So its not a horror game?”

Prince: “It can be a little scary sometimes, but it's not terrible :)”

fetch: “ANYW AY NIC E B OPS IM GONNA GO EA T THE R ES T OF THE ROSE PETAL JAM :) Y UM BY E G UYS DONT FOR GET TO AS K CR OW N TH IN GS” [Anyway nice bops I’m gonna go eat the rest of the Rose Petal Jam :) Yum bye guys don’t forget to ask Crown things]

[donti: Alright! What other games do you play?]

Prince: “Lots of games! I like Skyrim, Overwatch, Undertale and Minecraft the most, though! :D”

[donti: “thats awesome! I like Minecraft too! I also play Pokemon and some rhythm games :D”]

Prince: “Ooh, what's your favorite Pokemon? i like Mimikyu and Ditto the most! :)”

donti: “Gengar and Joltik! the Mareep line is also pretty cool!”

Prince: “Oh, I have to get going! Crown's asking to see me :)

Bye bye! :D”

#by:prince #on:discord #by:fetch #if the crown fits

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tnystrk-exe · 5 years

Text

Learning to Live 2

Tony Stark X Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

“Come on babygirl.” Tony pressed a few kisses to your shoulder. He had made you sit on the kitchen counter and trapped you in by standing between your legs. “Move in with me sweetheart. This big house gets lonely without you. You’ve been thinking about this forever.” He shifted to give you a kiss.

The faint taste of bourbon and a cigarette sticked around when he pulled away. “It’s only been two months, Tones.”

“Two months too long,” he complained, resting his head against your chest. The dreams were getting worse. Keeping you and Ro close was priority. “We can have a family Christmas. Haven’t had a good one of those since 91.”

“Tones, we’ve had good Christmas’s for six years.”

“Okay you saw through that, but honey, just say yes. All of this jumping between houses is just wasting our time.” Tony couldn’t work on his suits at your home. Sure you had offered to let him make a lab, but if he was over at yours work wasn’t on his mind.

“What’s got you in such a rush Tony?” You asked curiously. “You never sleep and you’re on Mark what? 20?”

“42,” he corrected quietly. “At least I’m working on it.”

“Tones,” you sighed, “You’re working yourself to the bone. It’s not good for you.” Though it was expected Tony went out through the wringer not too long ago. “Talk to me, you’re stressed.”

“I’m not,” he shook his head, “I’m fine.”

“You only smoke when you’re stressed or stuck. Given how many suits you’ve made since New York, you’re definitely not stuck.”

Ro and Dominic screamed as they chased one another through the house. Tony looked up quickly, a cold panic spread through him. It took a second for him to be pulled back to reality. “...I’ve been having some really messed up dreams. In those dreams bad things happen to the people I care about. I can’t sleep, YN. Sleeping and me that just isn’t happening. That’s time wasted when I can be building to protect the two people I’m not sure I could live without.”

“Tones, we’re fine. We’re safe.” You reassured him, making him look at you. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“We thought we were safe.” His eyes showed you more fear than you thought he would ever be capable of showing. “We don’t know what’s up there. I can’t rest until I know I did whatever it took for you and Ro.”

“Is that why you’re so stuck on us moving in?”

“I do want you two around, even without this hanging over me. Though, you’re right, there’s no denying it, it would be easier to keep the two of you safer here.”

“Okay,” you nodded, “We’ll move in.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. On a stipulation.”

“Anything.”

“You have to start taking care of yourself and none of this lemme wait until she’s asleep and sneak out when we go to bed.”

“You’ve noticed,” he stated.

You laughed, “Of course. Tony, you don’t exactly know how to do subtle. I even notice those mornings were you sneak into bed and act like you woke up when the alarm goes off. I was just seeing how long it took until you talked to me, honey. You carry around a lot of weight on your own. You don’t need to do this all on your own.”

“.....I’ve been drowned, beat, stuck in a desert with no pain killer, that was annoying...there’s too many things to count,” he sighed, shaking his head, “Up there? That’s worse than anything. Everything.”

There was a rare glimpse of fear in Tony’s eyes when he spoke. You weren’t even sure if you had seen it at all in the past couple of years. Tony was strong, defiant, and behind that lingered a self doubt that would probably always remain. Never fear. “Tony...”

Tony opened his mouth before the kid’s conversation by the piano distracted him. To tell the truth it was getting too much for him. Their innocent conversation was a nice distraction from the hell in his head. “Didn’t you have a crush on Ruby?” Dominic asked, making his Hulk toy fight Ro’s Captain America.

“Yeah! But she moved schools. So now I just have a crush on you,” Ro stated simply, “You’re cute, I think.”

“Oh, thanks! That’s cool we have crushes on each other! I don’t wanna be your boyfriend because then we have to be married and get jobs. And that’s boring. But maybe later when we’re bigger.”

“Yeah, I don’t want you to be my boyfriend either.”

“And here everyone thought they were safe from the Starks for a while,” Tony mused.

“Well, they got to the marriage talk before us.” The two of you would talk later. You could tell what you got was as much as he’d give right now.

“Nope, we got there pretty quickly. You’re already all mine in holy phony matrimony.”

“Then that means you’re all mine.”

“Always. May have to change that to a legally binding status sometime. I think I’d like to keep you around.” He leaned forward to drop a kiss on your cheek. “So when are we going to start moving the two of you in?”

“Now you’re talking about wanting to change my last name too?” You laughed, “Let’s pump the breaks for a while. All it is is a piece of paper. We can start up tomorrow. It’s not much, we don’t need much except the important stuff and our clothes.”

“I can wait.” He shrugged, expecting the struggle given the turn out of your first marriage. “Attempt number one wasn’t the best. I get it, but I have lots of time to wait. Eventually we’ll get there. Then I’ll hide that piece of paper somewhere you can never find it, then you’ll never be able to return me.”

“That’s incredibly sappy Stark, careful someone may thing you’re getting soft. Maybe it’s just the alcohol.”

“Mix of both. I’m always sweet on you Cupcake.”

The pager on the counter started to go off. “Duty calls Iron Man.” You pressed a final kiss to his lips before slipping off to grab your now ringing phone. “Yeah, Seb? ...I’ll be there as quick as possible.”

“Go save some lives, Doc.” He waved you off, walking over to check on the kids by the piano. “Hey Short Stack, Rugrat, what do the two of you say to going to the park before Dominic has to go back home?”

“Burgers too?” Dominic asked.

“Hmm,” Tony scratched his beard, pretending to think about it, “Who’s your favorite Avenger?”

“Hulk!”

“Really? Wound my ego why don’t you.”

“Yeah! He’s big and helped save you, plus my eyes turn green when I lie. Mom said so.”

Tony picked up Dominic, “That so? Show me.”

Dominic looked at him head on. “You’re the coolest Avenger.”

“Didn’t know you felt that way Dominic, your eyes didn’t change a shade. Go get your backpack and we’ll get set up to go.” Tony set him down on the floor and Dominic ran over to Ro’s room to get his things. “You named a car after your crush?”

“Yep! She was pretty the car was pretty. Now she’s going to a different school,” she pouted.

“Sorry about that sweetheart. It’ll be okay.”

“It sucks a lot.”

“But you have a crush on Dominic now?”

“A little,” she nodded, “He’s really cute and funny and nice.”

“All good qualifications, especially those last two.”

“Up?” She asked, looking so much smaller than she was.

“You’re growing up too fast.” It’s like he had blinked and here she was, talking to him about her crushes. Another blink and she’d think he was annoying and cringey. Tony picked her up happily, enjoying his time while he could. Pressing a kiss to her head as she curled up close to him. “Love you, Rugrat.”

“Love you, Labrat.”

Tony chuckled “Labrat?”

“You needed a nickname too! You don’t like it?” Ro asked, pulling away to pout at him.

He smiled and kissed her cheek. “I love it.”

Tony took the two of them to the park, snagging them a couple of kids meals to eat before playing. This whole lugging around two kids with him wasn’t so bad. Too fast. Way too fucking fast to think about that. One was more than enough. He found a shady spot to relax at while the pair killed their energy.

Time came and it was time to take Dominic back home, much to their disappointment. “Do I have to go home? I like it here! No one fights.”

“Sorry, kid, we’ve already nabbed you for three days. Your mom is already asking for you back.” Tony looked through the rearview to see Dominic crossing his arms over his chest a couple of tears going down his cheeks. Ro used her sleeve to wipe the stray tears. “Hey, hey, don’t do that. Look I’ll try to see what I can do and see if your parents will let you spend some of your Christmas break with us. Would you like that?”

“Yes, sir. That would be a lot of fun.”

“See? You don’t have to cry. Just gotta talk to me, kid.”

Dominic and Ro shared a long hug when he parked in front of the house. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Ro smiled and kissed the little boy’s cheek.

Dominic looked at her with wide eyes, a bright blush across his cheeks. “Thank you! Mr. Tony can I marry Ro?”

“Why don’t you give it a try in another fifteen years?”

“Okay! I can wait,” Dominic nodded. “See you at school.” The little boy grabbed his bag and dashed out of the car when he saw his little sister waiting at the door.

Ro climbed over the center console and jumped onto the passenger seat. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, Rugrat?” Tony asked, driving off once he saw Dominic walk inside his house.

“How did you know that you loved mommy?”

Tony took a breath, trying to remember when it clicked. That moment he knew.

“Hey Sweetpea!” He greeted when you answered the phone. “I’m thinking about coming in for spring break.”

“Really?” You asked, excitement dripping in your voice. It had been a while since the two of you had met on the Stark family vacation. “Genius Boy, you better not be messing with me.”

“I’m not!” He chuckled, “Tell you what, we’ll rent out a place at a beach. You can invite that guy you’ve been talking about too. Mr. Guy I think I’ll Marry.”

You cringed at his teasing but laughed all the same. “I said that at a moment of weakness. Let me live it down.”

“Don’t think I will. You hurt me finding someone else immediately after we got married.”

“You didn’t do any better. If I remember correctly, you had a very warm homecoming the second you stepped on campus.”

“Touché. I’ll make our arrangements and get in contact with you when everything is set in stone. Want me to pick you up or met up there?”

“We’ll meet you.”

“Someone planning on playing hide the zucchini?” You could practically see him raising his eyebrows at the suggestion.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you asked, rolling your eyes.

“Hey, I’m a sleaze, but I’m not that sleazy.” He leaned back in his chair, abandoning his project. “Use protection, we don’t want any little YNs running around anytime soon.”

“A bunch of little Tonys are more likely.”

Tony scoffed loudly. “Don’t put that out in the world. We can’t ever make a child suffer through me being their father.” There was some shuffling and a door closing, “Hey, Rhodey. Say hi to YN.”

“Hi, YN. Tell your man that he needs to get some sleep, he’s been running for three days now.”

“Hello, Rhodey. Tony go to sleep.”

“But we just got on the phone!” He complained childishly. “Give me a couple more minutes here.”

“Go to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow after classes.”

“It’s a date. Thanks Rhodey.” Tony hung up the phone and turned to look at Rhodey who was laying comfortably on his bed.

“What are your plans with her?” Rhodey wondered, knowing his friend’s usual tactics.

“No plans.” Tony shook his head, “She’s just my friend. Off limits just like you sweetheart.”

Rhodey raised a brow in response. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, she’s beautiful and funny. She’s a good girl, y’know? Sweet and all that, but blunt and realistic too. It’s nice. Refreshing. The only person that doesn’t care about who I am is you. Having someone else in that corner is nice,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “Anyhow, I don’t think YN would go for someone like me. Which is great, because emotions are a mess I don’t want to get into anytime soon.”

“Maybe you’ll be in for a surprise.” Rhodey shrugged. He saw a change in Tony when it came to you. It had just been a weekend, but you had an affect on his friend. “It wouldn’t be the worst.”

Tony thought it over, shaking his head. “Nope! That’s all just way too messy for me. We’re young it’s all about freedom right now. Who even wants to think about being tied down now? Or ever for that matter.”

The days passed quickly as you waited to meet up again. He was glad you’d get to meet Rhodey soon enough. Tony was sure you’d love one another. No time was wasted between Tony and Rhodey arriving and the party starting up for the week. There was too much alcohol and cash to get through to wait any longer.

When you got to the beach house, you looked in the car mirror. Straightening yourself out you wiped the tears from your eyes. You walked into the house. People were yelling, dancing, and drinking. Going to the bar area, you got yourself a drink and downed the amber liquid. The warmth spread throughout your body as you made another.

Suddenly someone’s arms wrapped around your waist and they spun you. The bottle spilling over haphazardly as you laughed an already familiar cologne filled the air around you. “Oh thank god it is you. I’ve grabbed the wrong girl three times already.” Tony kissed your cheek.

“How did the others react?” You asked, hugging him.

He took the bottle from you, taking a swig. “I’ve received a push, a kiss, and a slap. The slap was insanely more of a turn on than the kiss. A new discovery, I think.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you laughed, rolling your eyes.

“So where’s your guy?” Your face dropped. “Wrong question. Got it. What happened?”

“I was going to pick him up. Let myself into his place because that’s just what we did. Found him in his room and there he was with someone I thought was my friend.”

“Oh shit. We’re going to need a lot more alcohol.” Tony grabbed a couple of bottles and led you up to his room.

“Tones, come on, you don’t need to cheer me up. Enjoy your party. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Nah, come on we can catch up. It’ll be fun.”

You let him tug you up the stairs, not putting up much of a fight. There were a few whistles from drunk guys that thought Tony was taking up his first conquest of the night. Tony let you in his room and locked the door behind himself. “Where’s Rhodey?”

“He started talking to someone an hour ago, haven’t seen him since.” Tony sat down beside you on his bed. “Chose your poison.”

You grabbed the closer bottle and took a drink. “Why do guys suck so much?”

Tony looked at you, you looked downright broken-hearted. Now he could see the tears threatening to fall. “He doesn’t know how lucky he is that he even had your attention. He’ll regret it.”

You sniffed, absolutely hating how that waste messed up your night. Tonight was supposed to be fun. “This isn’t how I saw our reunion going down. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad to see you. How about you and I forget all about him? Let’s see if I can pull a smile out of you.”

The two of you talked, learning more about one another. There wasn’t any awkwardness in the air, the two of you worked well together. He earned more than one smile from you, which made him insanely proud and smug. You played some drinking games and it turned out Tony could hold his liquor better than you. Tony went after you when you stood suddenly and ran to the bathroom. He crouched down beside you, collecting your hair into a ponytail in his hand to keep it out of your face. “You’re okay sweetheart,” he said, his free hand rubbing your back soothingly.

“You don’t have to be here,” You rasped, it definitely wasn’t a pretty situation. “I got it.”

He shook his head, helping you to your feet. “YN, you’re my friend. Which means you’re going to repay this favor more than you think. Just because I didn’t hit my limit tonight doesn’t mean I won’t reach it tomorrow.”

You laughed weakly, “Gotcha Tones. I get to play nurse tomorrow.”

He pulled out a tooth brush and a bottle of water from under the sink cabinet. “Prepared for anything.”

You got yourself sorted, your stomach not feeling any better at all. Maybe you had over done it. “Thanks. I think it’s a hangout in the bathroom kinda night. Go enjoy your party.”

“And miss out on this?” Tony leaned against the wall and sank down. A tug on your hand and he had you sitting on his lap. “Let me take care of you tonight, sweets, don’t stress it.”

Relaxing against Tony, you absentmindedly pressed a kiss to his neck. “Love you, Tones.” You didn’t get to dread a response before you passed out listening to his heart.

Tony looked down at you, moving your hair out of your face. It wasn’t the first time the words dropped from your lips. Not by a long shot. It was, however, the first time he felt something inside of himself. He wanted to hear you say it again and again and again. That felt overly sappy for his taste. Still that didn’t stop him from pressing a kiss to your hair. This would be like him. If this was falling in love, then of course he did it in the bathroom at a party. The girl in question passed out on him, looking so peaceful as she rested against his chest. He shook his head, it had to be the alcohol. There was no way this was it.

Now he knew better. That was the point when his thoughts on you changed. He may have been too young and dumb to act on it, but that was definitely the start. It wasn’t too bad all things considered.

“Your mommy came to visit me and a boy had made her sad. Then I realized all I wanted to do was make her smile and protect her from anyone else that would make her sad. But I was still a kid and telling your mommy that I loved her felt very scary. It took me a long time to tell her.”

“It’s scary to tell someone you love them?” Ro wondered, “I think it’s easy.”

“Some people do” he nodded, “It depends on the person.”

“So when you told mommy you loved her, then you had me?” She asked trying to connect the dots.

“Something like that kiddo.”

“It’s different because you took a break to love Pepper? Is mommy going to take a break too?”

“I sure hope she doesn’t.”

“Me too. It’s more fun when you love each other. We’re always together.” Ro looked over, studying his expression closely. “Daddy?”

He looked over, a serious look on her face. At least, as serious as a child could look. “What’s on your mind Rhodes?”

“Daddy, don’t get mad,” she said nervously, “I don’t know if what I did was bad but I just wanted to know. You always say to ask questions when I want to know something. The picture mans when they see us they always say step dad. I wanted to ask you, but you always tell them fuck off and get angry. I asked Mr. Rivera and he said I should talk to mommy and you. So then I asked my friends. Marcus and Gabriela have step dads and another daddy.”

Tony felt a cold sinking feeling in his stomach. She had learned, caught on by herself and he had promised when the time came he wouldn’t lie. Man, he thought he had more time before the conversation came up. “You could have asked. I wouldn’t have gotten angry. How could I be angry with you?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “Does this mean someone else is my daddy? Do I have to call you Tony now? Or Mr. Stark?”

“You can call me...whatever makes you comfortable,” he responded, knowing her choice could potentially be heartbreaking. “It’s your call.”

“I don’t think I wanna call someone else daddy. That’s weird,” she scrunched her nose, “You’re my daddy, I love you. Can I please still call you daddy?”

He swallowed thickly, the lump in his throat feeling tight. “Of course, sweetheart, that wasn’t even a question you had to ask. I love being your dad. We can talk about this more when mom comes home, yeah? You and I can keep it hush that you said fuck.”

“You say fuck. Why can’t I say fuck?”

“Because if you keep saying it your mom is gonna fuck me up.” He poked her side.

Ro leaned over, her small hand landing on his cheek, she used her sleeve to wipe away a tear that had slipped. “Daddy cries? Did I make you sad?”

“No sweetheart. You didn’t make me sad,” he grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it, “Thank you, sweet girl. It’s bittersweet. You know the truth now, but you still chose me.”

She nodded, not really understanding. “You chose me too! Like Pokémon!”

“Exactly like Pokémon.”

Tony turned on the radio, Ro didn’t skip a beat singing along to Bowie happily. He smiled fondly as she went to town on her air guitar. How did he get so lucky to have this perfect child in his life? This kid that loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. It was something he never expected to have. Nothing would get him to ever give it up, he was certain of that.

It wasn’t that much longer until you came back home. The dynamic duo didn’t seem to be in the main house, “Ro! Tony!”

“They’re in the lab,” J.A.R.V.I.S. informed you, still elating the intercom audio leak through.

“Daddy did it!”

“Ro did it!”

You laughed at them, rolling your eyes. “Thank you, J. Have they behaved today?”

“With sir? I’ve seen worse times.”

You walked down the stairs, pizza box in hand. Ro sat next to Tony at his lab bench. Iron Man tech and coloring pages scattered around the pair.

“...really threw me under the bus there? Your father? I got you, let’s see the next time you want any toys.”

“You threw me too! Your daughter!” Ro jumped off her seat and ran to hug you. “I missed you mommy.” You placed the pizza on the table and picked her up.

“I missed you too. Did you have fun today?” You asked, kissing her cheek.

“Yeah, Dominic asked daddy if he could marry me and then me and daddy had a grown up talk.” She wiggles out of your arms and bee lined for the pizza. Tony grabbed your hand, pulling you close to give you a proper greeting. Ro pretended to gag around the bite she had taken. “You are gross and super old,” she decided.

You pulled away, kissing the corner of Tony’s mouth as you did. “So when’s the kid’s wedding?”

“Not anytime soon, told him to comeback when he’s older.”

“So what was your grown up talk?”

“Daddy’s always going to be my daddy,” Ro stated, “He can’t ever get rid of me.”

“Yeah, of course he can’t. He’s stuck with us.”

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “She asked the kids at her school what a step dad was and the kid solved the puzzle. We didn’t even have to drop any clues in there. Smart kid.”

“My friends have a step dad and a daddy. They see both of them. I don’t wanna call someone else daddy.” Ro handed Tony her pizza crust, “What if that other guy doesn’t like pizza crust? Who am I gonna give mine to?”

“I’m one of the greatest minds in the world, if not the greatest. And my kid thinks I’m good for nothing other than pizza crust disposal.”

“You’re good for cuddles and fixing too.”

“Thank you, I sure do try.”

Ro reached up for you, yawning as she did. “Mommy can we go to sleep? I’m really sleepy now.”

You picked up the little girl and sat her on your hip. “I’ll be back in a couple,” you told Tony. “Let’s get you all cleaned up and ready for bed.”

Twenty minutes later you and Ro were laying in bed. She was laying with her head on your shoulder, her fingers tracing patterns onto your arm. “Mommy? If you and daddy ever had a baby, do you think daddy will forget about me?”

“What? No sweetheart. Never. Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “I’m not really his baby like I’m your baby.”

“Ro, honey, that doesn’t matter,” you tucked her hair behind her ear, “We’re a family okay? We’ll stick together no matter what happens. That’s just how this all works. You never have to wonder if your daddy loves you okay? I know for a fact, that you mean the world to him.”

“I do?”

“Since the day he set eyes on you,” you promised, “You were such a tiny little thing in his arms. We didn’t know he was your daddy then, but I think you did. You were supposed to come a couple of weeks later, but you heard your dad and decided you couldn’t wait much longer.”

She smiled, her worries calmed. “I’m going to love you and daddy forever.”

“We’re going to love you forever too.”

“It’s okay if you have a baby.”

“Thanks,” you laughed, “But I think one is enough for me right now. Go to bed sweetheart, it’s late and you have school tomorrow.”

Ro kissed your cheek, “G’night mama.” She cuddled up into your warmth, sighing in contentment. Her small hand held yours while she tried to go to drift off. It didn’t take long for her to drop off. Carefully, you slipped out from under her. Tucking her in, you placed a kiss to her cheek.

Walking back to the lab, you hugged Tony from behind resting your head on his shoulder. “What are you thinking about Genius Boy?”

“Fixing up some implants that respond to my nervous system. Figured after New York, bracelets aren’t ideal. Worked but just because something works doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be upgraded. If I have something on me, it’ll make the process quicker. I don’t think I’ll be thrown of a building anytime soon but fool me once,” he rambled.

You kissed his neck, hoping it would calm him some. “Are you okay? Ro kinda found out something major today.”

He sighed, turning around in his chair to face you. “I’m always okay, you know that.” His arms went around you, he rested his head against your chest.

“You sure?”

“Don’t know,” he admitted, “not really. On one hand it’s good she learned young, there’s no time for her to feel resentful or betrayed. On the other, we weren’t the ones that got to tell her. I’m upset mostly, because I was her father in every sense. There was no faceless guy that she actually came from. It was me and no one else ever mattered. Now there’s probably a curiosity about a guy that has never even attempted to know anything about her in years.”

“Yeah, there is a curiosity. That’s undeniable. There’s even some doubt in her too now.”

“Doubt? What does she have to doubt?”

“I was laying down with her and she asked me if you’d forget about her when we had a baby.”

He jumped slightly, pulling back to look at you in shock. “Are we having another baby? We haven’t exactly been the most careful. So we really should have expected it, huh? Wow another one. We can do it. That’s totally doable.” Mind racing ahead of himself before you could answer.

“Cool it, Stark,” you laughed, seeing the noticeable panic in his face, “We’re not expecting a baby right now. Stop panicking.”

“Oh thank...Condoms. We should invest in them.” He sighed, visibly relaxing. “Not that having another kid with you wouldn’t be amazing. Does Ro really think I’d be different? If we’re being honest, anytime I think of the possibility of another one I can’t see myself loving them as much. Maybe it’s just because it’s hypothetical but it’s hard to envision.”

“It is weird,” you agreed, “the thought of another little kid running around. Isn’t it?”

“Would it be the worst thing?” Tony asked, looking up at you.

“I don’t think so,” you answered, carding your hand through his hair, “Having a family with you is the best thing in my life.”

You didn’t miss his rare blush when he looked down at the ground. There wasn’t ever a time Tony ever thought someone would say that. The fact that he had earned such a privilege was overwhelming. “You girls are really aiming for my heart today. Aren’t you?”

“Someone’s gotta remind the Tin Man he has one time to time.”

Tony pulled you in for a kiss. He wasn’t good at voicing how he felt, but he sure as hell knew how to make you feel it. A simple tug of his hair and a sweet sound from you was enough to get him running. “That’s it, you and I are gonna practice some good old fashion sex ed.”

“There’s always abstinence,” you joked.

“Damn it, YN, you’re a doctor not a teacher in Texas.” Tony playfully threw you over his shoulder, his hand copping a feel greedily. “Why don’t you show me a couple of things doc?”

Everything Tag:

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| @editsbyjenny | @vesta-ro |

#tony stark x reader #tony stark #Iron Man #mcu fanfic #reader insert

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stars-and-rose · 5 years

Text

emily’s notes on dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

so it took me an hour and a half to fulling watch the video because I ended up taking seven and a half pages of notes??? i might make a separate post analyzing the characters/the plot in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, but we’ll see. with that out of the way, please note that these notes are in chronological order. spoilers under the keep reading

seven warnings. seven freaking warnings. shit has hit the fan

why is Thomas ME in the mornings

wait no THOMAS BABY AHHHHHH

Virgil and Patton’s expressions when they first come in, oh god, Virgil looks absolutely done and Patton’s playing the ‘nothing is ever wrong’ game again

ROMAN. THERE IS SOMETHING OFF WITH MY SON AND I’M NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN

Patton singing to himself is pretty cute not gonna lie

“secrets secrets are no fun, share with me or else we’re done.”-Roman is me yet again

also “i have yet to receive my invite to the pity party” Ro i can’t-

okay so it seems Virgil Patton and Thomas all know something and they don’t want Roman to know

not gonna lie, watching these three play cover-up is pretty damn funny and Ro is on to them

I AM ONLY 2 MINUTES AND 28 SECONDS INTO THIS AND I WANNA C R Y

Roman calling in Logan for back up? WHOOOOOOO we stan

AHHHH SOMETHING IS VERY W RON G

Logan gets one FALSEHOOD a day?

honestly can't tell if they’re trying to protect Roman or they don’t trust him rn and ahhh that hurts

I’M VERY CONFUSED

i feel like i’m witnessing the logince vs moxiety war

so everyone but Roman knows and everyone but Logan is desperate to keep it that way

???????

NO ONE IS OKAY

they’re all coming for Ro’s role as the Extra side, huh? we’re hitting some extremes

“you all are acting fishy.” “so what, i’m acting fishy, sush- sue me.” “don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose.” Roman and Virgil at their finest

why isn’t Roman allowed to know about Thomas’s intrusive thoughts???

“i’m going to prohibit your breathing if you keep this up.” Virgil NO

Virgil Patton what are you doing

Roman is not going to fall for that distraction

wait no he did

i think everyone is a wee bit high

“have you ever imagined killing your brother”-HOLY SHIT SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN

OH MY GOD THE HANDS BEHIND RO AT 5:58 I JUST SCREAMED

THERE IS A CREEPY RAT MAN BEHIND THE TV

Patton covering his mouth and whispering out evil, and Virgil dropping into his tempest tongue when they see creepy rat man AAHHHHHHHHH

OH MY GOD HE HIT ROMAN HE HIT ROMAN WITH A MORNINGSTAR OH MY IS HE DEAD

“it’s the Duke.” thank you, Logan, BUT WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

The Duke is so freaking scary i can not-

state farm ad: everything in life is alright with state farm!

me, in hysterics only eight minutes in: nOtHiNg Is AlRiGhT

the Duke’s costume though... the clear elements from Roman but the inverted colors and the Duke feels gaudier

the Duke’s song is so creepy i can’t oh my god he'd been on screen for five minutes and he’s terrifying. The imagery, how dark everything is, how easily he moves around the other sides i’m chilled to the bone

did Roman call the duke bro??? um what???

also isn’t roman unconscious

I WANT MY ROMAN BACKKKKKKK

oh god what happened between Deceit and the Duke

the Duke is fucking terrifying. have i said that yet

i don’t wanna see the dark sides anymore! i’m good

that song is going to haunt me FOREVER

so the Duke is dark fantasies and corrupted creativity definitely Ro’s dark side

i no like

maybe the Duke was able to pop in because Roman’s been hurting recently????

HE JUST PULLED OFF HIS EARS OH GOD

Logan is the only one keeping himself together, i hope he can rationalize the Duke but i fear not

“you’re not creativity!”

“yeah! that’s the brave, handsome (Patton your gay is showing) unbeatable Roman!

*camera cuts to Ro still unconscious muttering about mashed potatoes*

Virgil looked so cute when he blew his bangs out of the way!

back to the angst

‘you’re scary’

*camera cuts to hurt/unimpressed Virgil*

ALSO THE DUKE IS NOT SCARY HE’S TERRIFYING

everyone is pointing fingers ahahhahah

how quickly Patton believed Logan was actually Deceit OOF when the only evidence for this was based on the fact Logan didn’t agree with Patton/Virgil’s method of dealing with the Duke

Lo: *trying to logic through the situation*

Vee and Pat: please shut your mouth

Logan:*talks about how nothing is black and white*

Thomas: *points out the difference between Roman in white and the Duke in black*

which is an amazing visual for character!Thomas’s black and white thinking

and it’s also an amazing detail to contrast Roman and the Duke. i thought the contrast between Patton and Deceit's suits was cool in SvS, but this is another level

Roman is still unconscious on the floor. the Duke is standing over him. alright, trash rat bastard.

wow i can’t believe my favorite side has a twin brother that’s an actual rodent

holy shit Thomas is such an amazing actor i genuinely cannot handle it, applause applause applause

“Wow, I hate him.” YEAH ME TOO THOMAS

the entire side conversation between Logan and Patton regarding the cradle in the treetop is gold

have i mentioned that the duke is disturbing yet? there is an EYEBALL on his shoulder

“...........maybe?” oh Patton bb you are trying but you’re not there yet

wow what happened between the Duke and Virgil, because the Duke really don’t like him

ROMAN YOU CAN G E T U P NOW

okay Virgil, that’s fine, break my heart

we’re still stuck on this “is Thomas a good person thing?”

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOGAN YOU GO SMART BABE

the flashback is just as creepy every time it plays gOD

well Vee got in an uncensored curse

Patton is shook

Virgil legit looks at him like,”you’re really hung up on THAT right now?”

“I’m about to smash the hulk!” what is happening.

“One of you is enough!” yes and I’d prefer Deceit right now!!

Deceit is a shit but he’s a shit with a cause

the Duke is just a rat

Patton is really playing the ignore all our problems card,huh

that didn’t work his arc why is he trying it again???

“this isn’t about me wanting to be listened too” SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU’RE TOO BLAME @ logan

Logan almost calling Virgil paranoid HURT

that brings me back to the whole “paranoviligant” scene from the Hogwarts video. both Ro and Lo have prevented themselves from calling Virgil paranoid, even though I feel like meaner things have been said. the word paranoid is significant then.

also logan quickly fixing his mistake there damn i love him

Thomas pleading with Virgil and Patton hurt me so much AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“well that can’t be where the bar is” WHAT A PARALLEL

Logan’s speech on religious really hit me.

i’m Catholic, but I’m also Pansexual.

watching an openly gay man talk about Religion freely made me feel really happy and accepted and i might have cried

also it was such a good way from Logan to make his point

the Duke really threw Patton and Virgil through a loop, huh

LOGAN IS THE BREADWINNER LISTEN TO HIM G O

okay, theory time: the Duke gets more powerful the weaker Roman gets and vice versa. so to keep the Duke away, Ro needs to get himself in a better place to figuratively defeat the Duke. but how can he get to that better place when it seems everyone is against him?

“i said figuratively. and that is why i say it. THAT *clap* IS *clap* WHY *clap* I *clap* SAY *clap* IT *clap* Lo really went off there, you go you funky little nerd

also Logan claps to emphasize his points a lot and it’s cute

“despite his best efforts, Virgil's could never stop being the bad guy~!” OUCH

you can see the vivid hurt on Virgil’s face when Logan says that it’s his faiult, it looks like he was slapped

and Logan quickly adding “oh and uh Patton.”

“rEcOrD sCrAtCh?” shut up stinky trash man

and Virgil’s shock that he isn’t the only problem, that isn’t not completely his fault?

and logan’s shock in realizing he isn’t the problem??

not like i needed a heart or anything

wow the Duke finally realized that Logan is going to smite him only took 25 minutes

he really just went off on Logan and Lo’s not even fazed

did the Duke just-

yeah he vored the deodorant

i can’t take this anymore

THE DUKE’S NAME

first of all, he just gave it anyway like it was nothing. the others gave thier names at key moments for them, and the Duke is like, yeah I’m Remus

also I SAW the little look he gave Virgil he’s not fooling me

wait is that why he gave his name so early? to spite Virgil? because Virgil hid his name for so long and such?

that’s it I’m voring the stinky trash bastard

second, the significance of the name itself. i’m assuming Remus is named after the Remus in Roman mythology. You know, the twins Romulus (hint hint RO nudge nudge) and Remus, the founders of Rome, but in the end Romulus killed Remus and became the city’s namesake

based on the connection of the names, and hoping that Roman is the Romulus of this story, Ro will be able to ‘defeat’ Remus one day

DID LOGAN JUST BARE HIS TEETH AT REMUS

he did OH MY GOD

Roman, still unconscious on the floor, telling Remus to shut up and defending Lo? we stan (one) creativity twin

well Remus just shuriikened Logan in the forehead

Logan simply falling for a brief moment then fixing the wound? he’s really a badass huh

Logan just summed up this entire shebang by saying,”if things one and two stop fearing the psycho asshole he’ll have no power.” alright Lo you go

LOGAN ALL THE WINS

Remus is really fucking dramatic huh, really seeing how he can be Roman’s twisted twin

really, Ro is chaotic good and Remus is straight up chaotic evil

“is he gone” you can’t be falling for that they’re ten minutes left on the episode

they fell for it

Virgil’s brutal honesty in listening off Thomas’s problems oof

“what if you sniffed your dogs butt?” Remus is getting a bit milder the more Logan talks him down, Lo is truly a king

“just shut up” WHOOOOO THOMAS

Patton and Virgil listening to Lo? GIVE ME AN AMEN

now we just need Ro to jump on the listening-to-Lo-express

AND LOGAN SAYING “IT’S OKAY” AND COMFORTING THE OTHER THREE AND BEING GENTLE WHOOOOOOO NO MORE OF THAT EMOTIONLESS BULLSHIT LOGAN WE KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT THEM

Logan’s speech on therapy? FANTASTIC, GIVE HIM AN AWARD

Patton admitting and realizing his over controlling methods and flaws??? we stan character development

VIRGIL JUST CALLED REMUS A COMMON COLD I CAN’T

but really, Virgil telling Remus off and calling him a pest not worth his time?? a king

“it was just like old times!” the look Patton and Logan share, they definitely are aware of Virgil’s past with the dark sides/ possibly being one and they are done with Vee being harassed

STINKY TRASH BASTARD IS GONE

ROMAN IS NOT DEAD

but his line, “I can see now why everyone was reluctant to tell me what was going on.” confused me

why didn’t the other warn Roman that Remus could be coming? it’s not like Roman didn’t know Remus existed (they are literally twins) and the other knew Remus existed so I'm not sure what all the secrecy was about. if the sides warned Ro, he could have been prepared, and you know, not unconscious for most of the video.

EVERYONE IS SO CONCERNED FOR RO AHHHHH

literally i might have screamed

i definitely did

when Roman used the same insult/nickname as Remus to Logan, how distraught he looked oh god

maybe that’s why Roman’s so much of a perfectionist,,, he’s so desperate to not be like Remus, Roman forces himself to be the exact opposite and it’s causing him pain

the little smiles everyone gives Lo at the end??? AHHHHHHHH

Thomas thanking logan and calling him Cool, and Logan just sinking out in response?????

SOFT SOFT SOFT

the entire like thirty seconds Roman and Remus share the screen, RO looks so uncomfortable

there has to be something else that happened between them,not just they being exact opposites... not sure on what

it also seems like Logan is getting better but Roman is falling down the rabbit hole and getting even worse

the funhouse mirror metaphor HURT

Roman is really coming for Patton’s nothing-is-ever-wrong game huh?

also just noting the parallels between Roman and Remus, the hand gestures, even how they both sink out with the same BYEEEEEEEE!

Virgil babey don’t blame yourself-

holy shit Virgil just dropped the mic

really that scene broke my heart

it wasn’t the reveal itself, but damn the delivery

Virgil looks on the verge of tears,puts himself out there and telling Thomas that he was a dark side and being met by silence???

my HEART

Thomas is such an incredible actor i cannot-

side note, how did Thomas not know? i believe the other sides know (someone please ask me about this so i can rant) and Vee was never exactly sutble about it and Deceit and Remus both taunted him about the past??

is character!Thomas just that dense??

so it seems like Logan is doing better, Patton is decent for the moment, but Virgil and Roman are both struggling right now

it feels like Roman’s arc is very drawn out, so i feel like things are getting worse before they get better

as for Virgil, i REALLY want the next video to be about how the past doesn’t define you and end with the other comforting Vee.

dear G O D why is Remus eating deodorant??

also, i really want to know what is actually the deodorant

or is Thomas actually eating deodorant

SOMEONE PLEASE CALL POISON CONTROL-

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666whatsyourvanishing · 5 years

Note

okay, second and last one today (probably; I would not be surprised If I ended thinking about another thing to ask, because that is what seems to happen everytime I say I will stop :P), what if! everyone had a type of dance they had to do to make magic related stuff happen, and this dance was one that I guess resonated with them, that fit them? not really the words I'm looking for, but something to that effect. anyhow, what would the ROs dance be? (also! you made me cry again with that ask ):< )

Hey no worries, I love your asks anon! Also I made myself cry with that ask too ;w;

I feel like this is something like the fusions in Steven Universe, each of them dance their own way you know. I also really like dance so I love this ask, thank you.

-----------

Caiden’s would be tap dancing, mainly because the magic Caiden uses on their machines is very intricate, fast and detailed. Much like tap dancing with requires a lot of focus and rhythm, machines are just the same. Tap dancing uses a specific type of shoe to dance, just like Caiden uses magic only through their machines. Tap dancing also fits Caiden in more ways that one, the fact that Caiden seems to always be on the run, and the fact that their brain is always on the go.

Jade’s would be ballroom dance. Not just because it’s classy and something that Jade does know, but also because it’s very dramatic. Like Jade. To do their magic, Jade needs someone or something to look through (in a way), like ballroom dancing, you need a partner, someone to guide or someone that guides you. Though Jade doesn’t trust people very often, which directly opposes what ballroom dancing entails, Jade is smart and can easily be on the same page as someone they barely know. Whether that’s magic or not, I wouldn’t know.

Bo’s dance would be street dance. Because it’s cool. And of course, it really allows us to look at Bo in a new light, that too. Street dance is sort of like freestyle type of thing, which if Bo had magic on their own, would be exactly how they would use it, just yolo-ing it. Street dance is also very showy, much like Bo, and is often done outside in any open space, which tells a lot about Bo’s way of dealing with things - going outside, traveling, not caring really where they are.

Tori’s dance would be meme dance. No I don’t take constructive criticism. You wouldn’t catch Tori dancing even dead, Tori’s extend of dancing would be fortnite dances and popular trendy dances. Since we’re in 80s probably the amazing dances from MC Hammer himself. It’s funny which honestly really shows how serious Tori takes things, and if they were to dance every time they perform magic, it would totally be ridiculous but at the same time cool moves. Because that’s Tori for you. Half-assing everything.

Jay’s would be ballet. Much like Jay, it’s graceful. Jay may be big and clumsy but they’re also very graceful and really have a healthy balance on their morals, which is reflected in ballet. It’s peaceful too which directly correlates to Tori’s nature magic, it’s art really. Big and scary but soft on and shy on the inside, ballet really would allow Jay to show their beauty inside.

Jun’s would be modern dance, more interpretive dance. This is type of dance you would see in a show, a story interlinked with a dance. If Jun had magic, this would be the way they would use it, everything has a meaning, every movement and every decision. This is also the way Jun lives their life, a story that Jun is trying to break free from. I’m not saying anymore cause the rest is spoilery. But Jun has grown up around theatre and art, so it would make sense that this is Jun’s type of dance.

#tvp #the vanished project #cog #choice of games #wip

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inevitable-anna · 5 years

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Escape The Night Spoilers S4X10

Here it is, guys! My final S4 reaction post. It’s been a long, funny, yet sad journey.

Anyway my series review should be up at sometime tomorrow.

For now, I hope you enjoy this post.

[[MORE]]

Is that the society lady? Jael? Or Ryu? Who is she with?

So this lady went into the museum for a mission.

Whoever this is, she is a badass!

Uh oh, here's The Collector.

Don’t open it! It’s what The Collector wants you to do! Don’t listen to her!

Oh no. What’s happening?

Waaahhhhh? She's the Gorgon?

Well, I didn't see that coming. Although I do like that they’ve given The Gorgon a backstory.

Watching the intro just hurts now that pretty much everyone is dead.

The way Colleen's smile falls when The Sorceress betrays them.

Oh sh*t, The Collector is alive again.

RUN YOU NUMBSKULLS RUN!

OMG it's Benjamin, Lucy, High Tower, The blue harpy, a vampire from S2, the guardian from S1, and The Carnival Master!

"It's like bloody Christmas everyday!"

Ohh yes! The Sorceress vs The Collector round 2!

The Collector definitely is gonna win.

Okay, they can kill The Collector by turning her to stone. Pity that The Gorgon is dead.

Egyptian exhibition is first up.

1/7 emblems found!

Joey: "The plan is to stick together."

Monsters: *come running in*

The group: *screams and runs in different directions*

Joey: "The plan has failed. And now it's every man for himself."

Now they have to help Garuda pay his penance in Hell? Hell naw, he bludgeoned Tim to death!

I wasn’t expecting Colleen to burp when she's scared.

Colleen got captured! :(

SAVE HER!

Joey: "If one of us gets captured we need to stick together and rescue them."

Colleen: *gets captured*

Joey: "Nm, lets go get the note."

Colleen trying to volunteer to be evil is actually sad to me, she's so scared of dying for a third time, that she offers to betray her friends.

Carnival Master, please don't sacrifice Colleen! She's the only the one left that I like. :(

Colleen: "you speak a very similar language to my newborn baby. I have a newborn baby."

Carnival Master: *chanting*

Colleen: "I have a newborn baby."

Carnival Master: "Shut up!"

Okay, Colleen trying not to get murdered/sacrificed is sad yet sort of funny?

Bretman: "Look, right here. Right here. I've got your back."

Colleen: "This is really uncomfortable, so maybe... we can, you know, this is not a good angle for him over there. You know, there's... it's a mess down there. You don't want people to see that, but that could be my power that I kill people with, just show em the vag. It's terrifying down there now."

Carnival Master: "Do you ever stop talking?" I love how the CM doesn't actually sound angry, he sounds genuinely curious.

Bretman: "The warrior statue is probably the one that looks the most warriorie, like obviously." No, Bretman, really? I thought it would be the one holding a ton of grapes!

Colleen: "I'm telling you, it's like a reflex, like I'm terrified so I can't stop talking. I also desperately need water, I have like cotton mouth."

Colleen: *in confessional* "I know I'm like p*ssing off these monsters and that means they're probably gonna kill me even sooner, but I literally can't stop talking." Well, at least, it’s stalling for time?

Yay, they saved Colleen!

Omg! Joey, Bretman, and Colleen are hiding under the table and they are so squashed together! How did they even fit under there?

The Collector and The Sorceress are still fighting?!?!?? I guess it keeps them both occupied from trying to find the guests

3/7 emblems found!

"Where flesh becomes stone." So Mortimer or the Gorgon's lair?

I feel like the whole ETN fandom just forgot that Mortimer died... again

The Gorgon's killer? So The Minotaur?

Wait! If that's The Minotaur's severed head, then who killed The Minotaur? Because Alex ordered The Minotaur to go back to the labyrinth and stay there.

Joey hiding behind that statue is hilarious! It reminds me of that scene in 'Aladdin' where he hides behind the strongman.

Joey ducks down under the statue and immediately sees its butt.

4/7 emblems found!

To get the sword that will turn The Collector to stone, they have to cover Excalibur in the Gorgon's blood. Lovely!

Yes! The Gorgon is gonna get revenge... even if it is from beyond the grave.

5/7 emblems found!

That map is the challenge grounds where Tana and Justine where for the first challenge. The Black steps are the stepping stones they need to use to get to the red one, where the emblem will be! I think? Are the flesh-eating scarabs still there?

Yeah, I was wrong.

6/7 emblems found!

For the final emblem they have to play a tune on the drums

7/7 emblems found!

I feel like the reason it's so quiet is that the monsters are gonna try and ambush the group.

Oh, they have to trap the monsters to get them out of the way, so the groups can turn Excalibur into The Sword Of All Legends.

It worked!

The monsters are now inside the exhibition cases! :D

Since we see a close up of all the monsters in the exhibition cases, I think the woman playing the harpy is quite pretty.

Although at 25:23 am I the only one thinks that Lucy looks scared?

Spell time... and they messed it up already...

*Spongebob narrator voice* “1 year later”

Yay! They did the spell! And it worked!

The Sword Of All Legends looks amazing! I want one!

HOW ARE THE COLLECTOR AND THE SORCERESS STILL FIGHTING?!?!!

The Sorceress is dead... again.

Joey: *stabs The Collector and turns her to stone*

Me: "YEAH! That's for Liza, Gabbie, Destorm, Tana, Justine, Alex, Tim, and... and Ro..."

The vault is open!

Is that the box that corrupted the Gorgon?

Grab the sphere and RUN!!

That box has the same Cthulhu looking thing as the 'Cursed God' statue last episode. The one that the caveman touched and I think got possessed by.

Joey just opened the soul jar... but what is going to happen to those souls now? Are the guests from this season in there or... like what was the point?

Aww that soul was Liza! At least she's not in Hell like I thought she was.

They opened the portal!

Bretman and Colleen are through!

Me: “Hoe, don’t do it!”

Joey: *runs back inside the museum*

Me: “Oh my god.”

Yep, he's going back for that stupid box.

Joey! You idiot! (No hate on real life Joey.)

29:42 Mat realising that Ro isn't with them... it’s so sad, I wanted her to live and be reunited with him.

Mat: "What happened?"

Bretman: "I don't know."

Colleen: "He didn't come through."

Me: "That's because he has to leave this season on a cliff hanger so they can make S5"

Joey opened the Cursed God's box... like a dumbass. (Again, no hate on real life Joey.)

And he's gotten sucked into the box. Like The Collector said to the Gorgon, "Looks like there's a trace of evil inside you."

Although I think that I would like to see a series where Joey is actually the big bad.

And that’s my final reaction post done! Woah, this has been a journey, and it’s been lovely to share it with you all. :D I hope you all enjoyed my posts about this season.

Hopefully, I shall be able to do another reaction series for S5, if there is one. My series review should be up tomorrow if everything goes according to plan.

But if any of you have an ETN questions for me, whether it’s about my favourite characters or something completely different, I would love to answer them! :D

I hope you have a lovely day!

#escape the night all stars #escape the night 4 #escape the night spoilers #escape the night #etn all stars #etn season 4 #etn spoilers #etn4 #etn

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dcarhcarts · 5 years

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This.....is the 1000th post on this blog, and I definitely waited until that could be true to post it, and that’s honestly? Very fitting. Seriously, you guys are a m a z i n g and I have literally never done a milestone before so I can’t tell you what it’s supposed to look like?? But we’ve somehow Miraculously (tm) managed to reach 100 followers and - anyway, this is going to be me very unprofessionally gushing about everyone because....I love you all and you’re all amazing aaaaaa. I’m??? Literally so blessed to have made friends and write with all of you. Y’all with multiple blogs, I’m only tagging once so I don’t spam your feed ok? And - as usual, this is going to get Long, because everything I do gets Long apparently. I tried to do it chronologically but IDK how well it worked oops.

THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, THE SUN IN MY EYES, MY MOON AND STARS

@ccrrupticn / D!!!! you are?? literally the reason I made this blog?? Without you, this thing would n o t mcfreaking exist omg!! You’re such an amazing writer (seriously, you manage so many muses and you give them all such distinct voices??? witchcraft???) and also so ???ridiculously kind! I love gushing to you about our Kids and you’re honestly A Saint (tm) for dealing with all of my blog construction/life related breakdowns, my crazy crossover headcanons and crashing into your inbox rambling about musicals <3 I miss talking to you so hmu whenever you come back if you want!!

@personnages / Lynna!! You’re like an Actual Angel. I think you were the first person!! who talked to me?? And You were So Nice and Welcoming that you literally soothed half of my fears coming into rpc like immediately?? You basically helped me figure out how diminutives work and you’re responsible for me adding at least 3 of my muses and I cannot tell you how much I love you and every time you pop onto my dash/feed/discord/etc, it just makes me happy inside <3 Definitely 100000% will follow you to every blog (if you’ll have me lmao) regardless of fandom!! i’m super excited about all of our ship/friendship roulettes and you’re just an absolute joy to talk to.

@nikolacvnas / LYDIA goodness you are a W O N D E R. Probably the best? Historically based blog I’ve ever encountered, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the Anastasia rpc!! The care and research and attention to detail that goes into your portrayals are a s t o n i s h i n g? Your Tatya is divine, your Maria is So Lovely and I Cry For Joy that you write Dima honestly. I’d been eyeing your blog for a little bit before I made my own - and I was honestly a little scared of you when we started cause you are a GODDESS and I am a potato, but then we talked??? and you’re hilarious and a ridiculously kind person and I love you? And of course, I love your dog (the cutest in the universe).

@mythostold / LESLIE~ Different blog, same story~ Man, I’ve been following you since maybe day two of this blog being active? No matter which fandom you end up in and which muse you write, you have such!! good!!! takes!!! For one, I love reading your meta posts??? Like you’re just so incredibly passionate about your muses?? And your writing style is so good aaaaaaa it’s so atmospheric. And on top of all of that - you’re??? such a sweet and incredible??? person??? And I love talking to you boo <3

@lifeawoke / NAT BBYSWEET <3 <3 <3 I have told the story of how I did a victory dance when you followed me to d e a t h probably but it’s t r u e your writing is amazing and your blog is amazing and y o u are amazing! You are the Natasha to my Sonya, and literally every time you send me a musing I’m like immediate-goofy-grin-heart-eyes???? It’s honestly a crime we don’t have more threads but like you’re an absolute joy to talk to and meme with and I adore you/your portrayal of beautiful bratty Natasha even if she drives my Sonya up the wall <3 You are Definitely the Funny Mutual lololol I crack up so much talking to you <3

@valianceearned / CARP you’re an amazing person/writer and holy h e c k am I impressed by your OCs!! They’re all so well thought out and developed? Your bios are so detailed and so much love and care is put into all of your characters. And your writing is so Lovely and it’s also very aesthetically lovely like holy heck the amount of work you put into both the content and the formatting? I am agog, I am aghast!!

@gearsandlevers / Callie!!!!! YOU ROUND ALL THE CORNERS I STRAIGHTEN THE CURVES!! love your kids so much. Your Violet is a delightfully clever and likeable kid, your Evan might have literally walked off the stage two seconds ago, and you’ve put so much thought into your cinnabon stoner Henry. Your dialogue is amazing and I love our headcanon sessions lobbing ideas back and forth with you!!

@spareisms / HEY MAGGIE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR!! You’re like the sweetest person alive??? How are you an Actual Real Life Disney Princess?? Your Anna is so well characterized and multi layered and I love how she an be so flawed but so brave and just how human she is. I’m very excited for your Anne Shirley too!! You’re a great writer (and a super sweet person aaaa) and I love you!!

@gcneralvaganov / Deanna, I have just one question: How? Have we only known each other for like 2 months???? It feels like my dash would literally be incomplete without you?? You play such deeply complex and incredibly flawed muses with such a great depth of respect and humanity. I love all of our AUs (we.....probably have a dozen by now), our long fix-canon tangents, and....look the inevitable conclusion to this whole thing is that we should....basically just write Anastasia tbh??? You’re incredibly funny and kind and talented and I’m so glad I yeeted myself into your IMs that first time 2 months ago! I love you, I love your muses, (Dima and Anya love their Dumb Boyfriend), and I love writing with you!

@ncvaflows / ALEXA YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND YOU. You??? Unlocked Ultimate AU Mode Ro and it’s like I c a n ‘ t stop?? First off, I cannot believe we literally own the same books and like the same barbie movies. How are we not literally the same person?? (Maybe w e ’ r e Anneliese and Erika lmao). Honestly from day 1 you’ve been so welcoming and lovely and I’m so glad we crashed into each other’s IMs yelling at top volume about random ya lit/movies/aus!! I adore literally all of your OCs (is everyone a b s o l u t e l y sure they’re not canon??? hmmmmm a Mystery)???? In the words of Li Shang, “You WRITE GOOD????” Anyway you’re amazing and I love you <3

WHILE IT’S DEFINITELY MY FAULT FOR BEING AN ANXIOUS BEAN WE REALLY NEED TO TALK MORE OFTEN CAUSE I LOVE YOU

@curtainrisen / Rebekah, dude, you’re a wonder. Your muses??? So diverse, and your voices for them? Super on the nose and amazing. I love your Helene and how human she is, and I really gotta toss more of my kids at you (Super excited for Duke!!). You’re real chill to meme with and I love talking/writing with you!!

@heartlosttravelers / Tor!! I love that you stan Raoul de Chagny So Hard ( the pure cinnamon roll boy deserves it honestly) and you’re super cool and great to talk to! All your muses are a m a z i n g and I always love the read when you pop up on my dash!

@damerusse / Marie!! You’re hella chill. Your memes???? 10000000% actually legendary. Meming with you cracks me The Heck Up. Lily is forever the puppy dealer, that is all, thank you, gnight. Ok for real though - your Lily is pretty Legendary too and you really got all that Spark and Fire right down. You’re amazing, and I love stalking your threads on my dash!

@lionhvrted / Fortune, my buddy my pal, we really be Out Here making Jane Austen plots even m o r e rom-com. Like. How did we manage that??? We might be literally magical lmao. We don’t have a ton of stuff going on at the moment but I love our dumb pining kids and I love the justice and humanity you give to your Caroline, and Fitzy loves his (future) wife.

@guvernantka / P R U E I already love our Exasperated Big Sis / Annoying Lil Sis / LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU YOU SMELLY DUMBASS LIL BRO IN LAW dynamic. You have the Best Sense of Humor (tm) and I’m always catching you when it’s like 12 in the morning here so I’m always cracking up silently in bed trying not to wake my roommies up.

@anastcsie / I LOVE OUR ANGRY SMOL AND DIRTY TOL YOUNG-BUT-OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER NAMED MARIA ALREADY. I love your Anya and how feisty and fiery she is (Dima, needless to say, loves his wife) and I love how chill (and hilarious!!) you are as a person. We do have a tendency to turn into angst monsters 24/7 but honestly that’s half the fun!!

@asundrop / Polly!!!! ok so I know we haven’t really done anything w/ Raps (yet muahaha) BUT b o y was I hella excited when I found someone willing to yell about CDrama with me??? Thank you for being the Eternally Stoic/Always Annoyed Ancient God to my Tiny Dumb Fox Princess?? I love them and I love you (you’re hella cool) so there!

@moretreasurewithin / KAAAATE goodness it’s only been a couple of days but I’m So Comfortable talking to you already? You’re just honestly really amazingly kind and I love screaming about Anastasia with you. We gotta get more going but I love your Dima and Maria Already (tm) and I love your sense of humor (here’s to torturing Dima with ties!!) and I can’t wait to get to know you better!

@annastrxng / AAAA somehow I managed to chat with you and then?? We never got anything going and it’s definitely mostly my fault cause of that High Anxiety (and also the fact that I got Immediately Busy) but you are literally So Nice and The Most Understanding and super great to talk to!! I hope we get something going in the future!!

@soulcrossed / ROSE we have the same name I keep forgetting this lmao BUT ANYWAY. All your muses?? Amazing. You gotta throw more of them at me. Your Sophie?? Are you Actually Diana Wynn Jones in disguise?? I love our crazy au/headcanon sessions and I love/hate that you’re The Worst Enabler and I’m inevitably going to end up with the other two Hatter sisters on this blog lmao.

I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU TON YET BUT HI!!! YOU SEEM CHILL!!

@alonecour / @steeledstark / @professor-of-predators / @sclskinn / @dulcettc / @volaticoux / @frxncaise / @argelfrasterr / @i-wrote-myway / @zharptiitsa / @villainsfall / @anyaromanovarp / @agoodandloyalrussian / @aliquisinter

AND EVERY ONE OF Y’ALL AMAZING PEOPLE OUT THERE I’M ADMIRING SILENTLY FROM AFAR EVEN NOW BECAUSE I CHICKENED OUT OF TAGGING YOU LAST MINUTE CAUSE WHAT IF YOU’RE LIKE “LMAO WHO IS THIS WEIRDO TAGGING ME??” (p.s. this is 100000% permission to slide into my IMs/like a plotting call/etc. I honestly think y’all are hella cool and probably love you already)

#follow forever #( milestone )#( ooc ) ✵ ~ CHANDELIERS AND CAVIAR ~ /#((................you know i made more friends than i thought i would coming into rpc as an anxious smol))#((I LOVE YOU ALL YOU'RE ALL AMAZING))#((thanks for putting up w/ me & my Super Anxious Self))#((ok i'm just gonna post this before i forget and reblog something and miss the 1000th post))

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coco-chip · 5 years

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Favorite to least favorite SBR characters?

I’m going to try and list all the named good characters and ill have a separate list for antagonists too because yeehaw

Good Characters:

1. Gyro Zeppeli - one of my all time fav characters sorry nyall you cant beat him

2. Marco - my bby boy did nothing wrong. so sweet and hardworking even tried to fix that dudes cllar in jail like i lvoe him so much.

3. Johnny Joestar - i debated this one cause like i /do/ like him but also,,mostly cause hes attached to gyro. i do think he had the best character growth of any jojo and i love seeing fanart and fanfics with him and hes of course a part of my fav ships so imma put him up here

4. Hot Pants - one of the best main women characters araki has done (tho she was still treated gross :///) her story is great her motives are awesome great design just very good

5. Lucy Steel - deserved better than she got!!!! she was so brave so smart!! shes a cute lil girl too!! and her story and lov for steven is heartwarming she rocks

6. Nicholas joestar - i know he had like what 4 lines and died real early but like he was the only good person in jonis life theres so much good sibling potential there and he seems like a real sweetheart i never have the heart to kill him off even in aus cause hes just,,so good,,

7. Mountain Tim - listen,,,,ramranch,,,,,, no seriously i liked his character and the scenes he was in his stand ability is cool and his design and like honestly if it werent for his weird thing with lucy he’d be higher up

8. Steven Steel - helping the heros helping lucy making the whole race hes just!! a good guy!!! i liked seeing him and his lame puns bless

9. Pocoloco - i count him as a hero he was like never an adversary of the gang. his scenes were funny and i love his stand my fav stand ability wish i had great luck. he was cool and i wish araki did more with him

10. wekapipo - do like how he went from villain to hero team and i do like how he was able to showcase another side of the spin power since gyro was the only one who used the balls before him. feel like there could have been more done with him and i didnt feel as connected to him as the others.

Antagonists:

1. Sugar Mountain - best of the antagonist gave me the sugar mountain arc which is the best arc in sbr yes. shes also like the most innocent of the antagonists she jsut wanted her parents back they were cursed by that stand too. also disability rep with her being blind!!! i know the bar is so low but araki gave us two whole disabled characters that were treated with respect i like that

2. Soundman - deserved better!! i think his motivations and abilities were super cool. wish he came around to the heros side in the end but alas

3. Oyecomova - great song, great design, cool and deadly ability, i enjoyed the fight with him!

4. Dr ferdinand - the orginal dino man, preferred him with scary monsters, good opponent and smart, think his whole thing with respect is funyn cause it makes no sense at all but thats the point

5. magenta magenta - i know hes supposed to be gross and annoying but i found him kinda endearing when he wasnt fighting. do look foward to seeing his adaptation in the anime a lot. he also had some character growth to becoming a better opponent which is cool to see. dont like some of his gross tendecies but other than that hes p fun

6. DISCO - no personality literally said one line but like i admire that. cool stand and one of the more fun fights to read. also like the song hes named after

7. all the boom booms - liked their abilities!! dont remember much about their like personalities but i dont think it was that important for their part in the story

8. pork pie hat kid - his fight did give that hysterical scene with johnny punting that insect out from his hiding place but other than that meh his stand ability is kinda cool but his deisgn and name arent fun

9. Mrs. Robinson - insects?? i dont fux with that no thank you. had cool design tho and liked how he was a dude who used mrs

10. ringo roadagain - i mean he did give that great gyjo scene but other than that meh. coolish ability. his design isnt that great.

11. eleven men - cool ability! part of one of my arcs. their design is really weird tho and they had no personality so towards the bottom they go

12. mike o - honestly forgot he exists but that just makes him better than everyone under him cause everyone under him i just straight up dislike or hate

13. diego brando - hes certainly better than dio! but uh thats all hes got going for him. dinos are cool too and i do appreciate his backstory. used to like him a wee bit more but fandom made me hate him so here he goes

14. axl ro - honestly wouldnt dislike him if he didnt give me civil war aka one of the worst arcs in sbr if not the worst. his design is boring and i can't even rememebr if he had a backstory. his stand ability sucks too so here towards the bottom he goes.

15. blackmore - was just a weirdo the whole time and also killed one of my favs so like fuckhim

16. funny valentine - my least favorite villain like in all of jojo i wrote a post about him already you know

#jjba #shut up coco #sbr #long post #thanks for the asks!! love answering questions :D #Anonymous #coco speech

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msbigredmachine · 8 years

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Come What May - Part 4

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. So why did she feel like she was making the biggest mistake of her life? Roman Reigns/OC/Tama Tonga

Wise Words Won’t Stop the Bleeding

Tama found Ashley exactly where he knew she would be, under the big oak tree overlooking the lake by her family home. This was the tree, she once told him, that she always came to during her childhood to find refuge from whatever difficulty she was facing, or simply come to relax and reflect on life in general.

No prizes for guessing why she was there this time.

The guests had left the church hours ago. After Ashley had abandoned him at the altar, Tama had sat down numbly in the front row of the church, certain that he was in some bizarre Runaway Bride-type movie. But it was real, and it was happening to him. From there he’d just driven around town, figuring out what to do with himself, and without thinking, he’d found himself at her home, found himself drawn to her again, even after what had just transpired. He had known how he would confront her. if he saw her again. At least so he thought. But now that she was near, his mind was blank, with no signs of his much-needed memory returning to him anytime soon. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He sat down beside her on the soft grass. He crossed his legs in front of him, his sharp black tuxedo pants hiking up a bit to reveal the black socks underneath them, and surveyed the picturesque scenery before him; staring but seeing nothing, his vision muddled by his racing mind.

Ashley felt his presence but did not move, terrified to look him in the eye. She had no right to defend herself, not after the way she shamed him in front of his family and friends. The internet smarks would have a field day. Tama would become a laughing stock, and it would be all her fault. She waited silently for the onslaught, the tirade she was certain was coming. God knew she deserved whatever hateful word that he threw at her after what she had done to him, betrayal that he never deserved.

She finally dared to glance up at him. Her heart broke at the distant, passive look in his eyes. “Tee…”

“I know what you want to say, Ashley,” Tama spoke suddenly, startling her. His accented tone was cool, calm and collected. “Don’t.”

Ashley obeyed, keeping her eyes on the grass. It was better that she did shut up. What possible explanation could she have for being so cold, so heartless? She wanted to say she never meant for this to happen, but it would have sounded like a terrible lie.

“I’ve thought about this for a long time, you know,” Tama continued. “And to be honest, I kinda saw this coming.”

Her tear-filled eyes widened. An unpleasant, hollow feeling nestled in her stomach. “What?”

“I knew that you were never really mine, Ashley,” he admitted, his eyes meeting her perplexed features. “At least not in the way I wanted you to be. I’ve known right from the start, really.”

She stared at him, not knowing whether to be relieved or heartbroken about that. “Tama…”

“Please, let me finish,” he interrupted, putting his hand over hers, ignoring her surprised expression at the unexpected gesture. “For a very long time, something in my gut told me that we rushed into this relationship. I’d heard about you and Ro, about how you had something really special together, unbreakable even. I heard how devastated you were when y’all broke up, and when you came to Japan I should have at least given you time to pick yourself up. But I didn’t, and that was a mistake on my part. Your heart wasn’t fully in it just yet, and I wanted it to be, so bad, ‘cause I really liked you. As a result, things were missing between us from the get-go. I was destined to become the rebound guy. You loved me, yes, but you weren’t in love with me. I should have known better than think that I could somehow take his place.”

A pang shot through Ashley at his words. Tama had obviously put a lot of thought into this, to the point that he was practically blaming himself for his own humiliation, and that made her feel even more terrible.

Catching the pained expression in her eyes, he hooked his finger underneath her chin and gently lifted her face up. “Listen to me, cutie. This is not your fault. I got myself into this mess. If I hadn’t been so selfish-”

“But you weren’t,” Ashley insisted, appalled that he would think such a thing. “Not in the slightest. If anything, you were perfect.”

“Yeah,” he acknowledged with a shrug, “but perfection ain’t enough when I’m not the one you really want.”

Guilt-ridden, she bowed her head once again.

“Hey,” Tama whispered. “I’m okay, Ash. I’m not angry, I swear. It hurts a bit, but I can handle it.”

Ashley could only marvel at his impeccable composure. Even when they were friends, she always knew that Tama Tonga was not the arrogant, psychotic savage he played on TV. He was honest, funny, a good listener and an absolute gentleman. Other than his potty-mouth and the occasional issues with his temperament, he was a gem. But he was right, and she could not deny it. There was no way she could have continued to deceive him, or more importantly, herself. He was not Roman. Believing that she could see past that, she had tried to make herself love Tama and in the process lost Roman and ended up breaking Tama’s heart. “I’m so sorry, Tee,” she said meekly.

“I know you are,” he said, still strangely calm. “I also know that I don’t want to lose you completely, Ash. I still want you to be a part of my life.”

“Really?” she asked uncertainly. He nodded, adding with a soft, sad smile, “I do. I care too much about you to let you go. Besides, we were good friends, remember? We can go back to that. Remember how much fun we had the weekend we took that trip to Hong Kong?”

Ashley found herself smiling as she remembered. “Yeah. It was great.”

He grinned. “And remember that time we went rollerblading at that park in Osaka…”

Ashley rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming next. “Oh no…”

“…And you fell right on your ass?” Tama burst into laughter.

She huffed, looking sulky. “In my defense, it was a really sharp turn.”

“Hey, you still fell. And your legs were sticking up in the air and shit! Everyone was staring.” He threw his hands in the air to demonstrate and leaned against the tree, laughing his head off. Refusing to be outdone, Ashley planted her hand on her waist. “My turn, smartass! Remember when you hit on that tranny the time we went to Hooters Tokyo to watch the Super Bowl?”

“I did not hit on her!” Tama argued, his voice faltering a bit. “Or him. Whatever! She made the first move, not me.”

“You kissed her!”

“I had a few drinks in my system…”

“And I still have pictures!” Ashley wiggled her eyebrows slyly.

Tama gasped in horror. “No fuckin’ way! You said you deleted them!”

A devilish grin spread across her beautiful face. “I lied.”

Tama pouted, but soon returned to his dazzling smile. “See what I mean? We can do this. So we’re not getting married. It’s not the end of the world. I still want to be there for you. I want you to come to me if you ever need anything, just like before. I’d really like that, Ash.”

Deeply touched by his selflessness, she lowered her head. “I can’t understand how you could be so forgiving,” she said quietly. “Even though I never meant to, I feel like I used you. I led you on for so long. How many months of your life did you waste on me, time that you’re never gonna get back?”

“It wasn’t a waste to me, cutie,” Tama assured her, taking her hand in his. “I enjoyed every minute we shared together. Sure, the timing kinda sucks,” he laughed a little, gesturing at their wedding outfits, “but better late than never, right?”

Tama leaned back to rest against the tree. He beckoned for Ashley to move closer, and when she did, he wrapped an arm around her. His head rested against hers, and she closed her hand around his wrist that was over her shoulder as they stared out into the lake, watching little fish leap out and back into the water, soaking in the new but comfortable aura surrounding them. Maybe this was always how things were meant to be between them; having a close, impenetrable friendship fated to stand the test of time. The talk they just had was definitely a step in the right direction. Ashley decided then and there that she did want Tama in her life after all. He was precious to her, and just like she did with the people she loved, she was going to look out for him and protect him.

“You really love Roman, don’t you?” Tama asked after a while, his deep, soft voice penetrating her thoughts.

A bashful smile automatically spread across her face. “I do. He means everything to me. I never believed in soul mates until I met him. I can’t even explain what I feel for him, it’s like…unreal. He…he is my soul mate, Tama.”

“You should see your face right now,” Tama whispered, almost awe-stricken as he watched her. “The big smile, eyes all lit up…I’ve never seen you like that, for me or anyone else. And all I needed to do was mention Roman’s name. Now if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

Flushing, she bit her lip. “I did love you, Tama,” she told him sincerely. “I still do.”

“I know, cutie,” he smiled, stroking her hair. “It’s okay, Ash. Don’t beat yourself over this, alright?” he continued, as he searched for something in his pocket. “You may not feel that way right now, but you’re a good person. That’s why I fell for you in the first place. And that’s why I want you to be with the man you want.”

He presented his phone to her. “So call him.”

Ashley gasped as she realized what he wanted her to do. “What? Call Rom-…Tee, I…you don’t have to do this.”

But he merely shrugged. “I want to. You should talk to him. Straighten things out once and for all. This time nobody will get in the way. I’ll make sure of that myself,” he added with a knowing wink.

Gratitude overwhelmed her as she beamed at him. “You’re an amazing man, Tama. I pray you find the girl you deserve. She’ll be the luckiest woman on the planet.”

“I will, someday.” He smiled, putting the phone in her hand and closing her fingers around it. “Now call your man.”

Sending him one final, grateful smile, she got off the grass and moved a few feet away, punching in the numbers she knew by heart. It went straight to voicemail.

“Hey, you’ve reached Roman. You know what to do.” The beep went off.

“Roman. Hey,” she stammered, surprised she could hear herself over her loudly hammering heart. “It’s Ashley. I just called to say…I just wanted you to know…The wedding is off, Roman. I didn’t go through with it. I just…” She paused, lifting her head to force back the impending tears. She wanted to say so much more to him. Her heart ached to tell him how she really felt. She had sacrificed so much for him already but she was willing to do more, only if it would get him to come back to her.

“I need you, Ro,” she cracked out, clutching the phone so hard that her knuckles turned white. “It’s you I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can’t do it if it’s not with you, I just can’t. I lost you twice already. I’m not gonna do it again. I mean it.”

She bit her lip shyly. “I…I want to see you, Roman. Please. I want us to talk. Come down to the church. I’ll be waiting outside, and I’m not leaving until you get here. Hope to see you. Bye.”

Hesitantly, hoping she had said everything right, she hung up and went back to Tama, handing him back his phone. “Done?” he asked.

She nodded as she resumed her seat beside him on the soft grass. She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you T,” she whispered in his ear. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Anything for you sweetheart.” He hugged her back, smiling at the unrestrained joy in her voice. It told Tama that he’d done the right thing. He’d been the bigger man, graciously accepted defeat, and he felt somewhat consoled by this.

Now all he had left to do was pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

------------------------

A/N: Title from the song “Breakeven” by The Script

Tagging:

#roman reigns #tama tonga #roman reigns fanfiction #tama tonga fanfiction #roman reigns imagines #come what may #msbigredmachine

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