#italian gym best routines

[freifraufischer]

Elisabetta Preziosa (ITA), BB, 2009 World Championships

[no-saints-around-here]

Me and You, Here and Now

Yandere Yakuza Boss Izana ABO AU

Masterlist

‎‎‎

tw: reader has female parts, reverse abo dynamics (stronger omega), suggestive murder, explicit nsfw, dead dove do not eat

special thanks to @trashybandit for beta reading this!

The front door to your apartment creaked open, and a head of white hair poked in cautiously, empty violet eyes scanning the darkened room. “Coast is clear,” Izana whispered to himself, before letting out a small giggle at the silliness of it all. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t known where you were the entire time; it was just that he had never been able to catch you at the best moment. Cracking the door slightly wider, the tanned man let himself in, humming a soft tune as he eased his gym bag through as small an opening as possible before immediately closing and locking the door behind him. From a single deep breath, it was clear that the air inside was stale; neither your door nor windows had been opened in the past twenty-four hours. There were no signs of life anywhere else in the small living area you called home - a thin layer of undisturbed dust coated the kitchen counter, something you would never allow to happen, nor was there a drop of water collected in the dishes tray. To any regular soul that made up the majority of society, it would be reasonable to assume that you weren’t home, and you hadn’t been home. Yet there was no doubt in Izana’s mind that you were here; his sensitive nose could pick up the traces of pheromones that still lingered on the surfaces you had touched. After all, an alpha would always be more attuned to both omegas and other alphas than regular humans would ever be.

Setting his black leather bag down lightly on the worn wooden floors, Izana made light work of stripping off his business suit; he did come straight from work after all, and being a yakuza boss could leave the stench of filthy blood and other people on his clothes. He rather not distract you with any other smell but his. Pulling off his silk scarf and thick woolen coat, those were neatly folded and left atop your spotless sofa before he got to loosening and removing his tie, slender fingers quickly working to unbutton both his vest and the soft white tuxedo shirt. With each minute that passed, the impatience only bubbled and grew in his gut, and it was getting harder and harder for the man to not fuck it all with this bothersome undressing and seek you out immediately, his eyes narrowing at nothing in particular as he quickly kicked off his prized handcrafted Italian leather shoes - there was nothing he could care more in the moment but you. You were waiting for him, in heat and in pain, and he needed you. Badly.

Just outside, separated by a thin wooden door: a quiet, typical suburban neighborhood, a usual silent weekday night; regular (betas, as Izana called them) families going about their usual evening routines, winding down for the day and preparing for the next. The last silver of sun that still peaked over the horizon threatened to disappear at any moment, the night and its cape of stars eager to begin its reign. A crackle of electricity, and the streetlamp that had stood faithfully next to your apartment block flickered on right on schedule, its strong yellow light filtering through your still curtains and casting a patterned shadow onto the floor. But behind the privacy of a locked door and drawn curtains, the feared mafia head could only sigh contently as he let his pajama shirt slip down over his head to cover his toned torso, loose, comfortable pants having been pulled over silk boxers. There was no stronger smell that one could bring to an omega’s heat than sleepwear that had been worn consistently for a week, and combined with the rest of the pieces of clothing that Izana had brought as offerings to line your nest with were equally well-worn and scented, there would be no mistaking who it was that came to woo you.

Bending slightly to pick his gym bag back up from the ground, a lustful hunger - an almost desperate need - sparked to life in those usually empty eyes; now, to hunt. 

Where were you hiding? 

There weren’t many places you could be in to begin with, not in this tiny apartment, and even fewer where you would be while in heat. Nests were usually tucked away in the dark corners of the house, as per the general preference of omegas when they went into heat: smell-proof, sound-proof pods provided by the government as part of a support program, though Izana knew from firsthand experience that there was at least enough space for two. Letting out a hum, the tanned man looked almost at home with the ease he ducked around corners and drummed the tips of his fingers against counters, making a beeline for the master bedroom; even if you had never once been invited him over to this new place of yours, it was clear he knew his way around like the back of his hand.

And pulling open an inconspicuous pair of door shutters, one of several that lined the far wall of your bedroom, the tinted glass window of your pod, tucked away in an unused wardrobe, gleamed back at him. A room within a room, a little cozy box that served as both your slice of heaven and your prison for the duration of your heat: Izana didn’t doubt that you were a lot safer from the dangers of the world inside than outside, your heavenly, addictive scent locked away from those who would do you harm. But right now, the man thought to himself, his pants already tenting as he eagerly reached for the handle of the entrance - right now there was no doubt you were still the safest with him. 

Like the creep of a fog along the forest floor, the sweet tantalizing aroma of your pheromones, combined with the freezing cold of air conditioning, came rolling out as the door was carefully pulled open, an invitation, a siren’s call to your former lover that tempted him into the dimly lit depths. The yakuza boss was only happy to take the bait, easing the black duffel bag through before him.  

‎

You were completely naked, plump flesh shiny with beaded perspiration that your hair stuck haphazardly to despite the temperature being several degrees lower than the already cool night outside, thick thighs splayed open as if to display your drooling private parts for him to feast his eyes upon. Your breasts were larger, heftier, than what they usually were, engorged by the sheer amount of hormones currently flooding your system, nipples already perked and at attention. Long, ugly scratches, now just barely scabbed over, framed your leaking pussy, where you must have raked your nails again and again in an attempt to relieve yourself from the lack of fulfillment, only to have both hands bound to protect yourself from you. Yet all Izana could focus on was you, his gaze unable to tear away as he drank in the tortured expression that pulled at your face, eyebrows furrowed, your lips contorted and twisted as you struggled in vain to find relief from the incessant arousal that was driving you to the brink of insanity.

“There you are, love.” Violet eyes, usually empty and cold, instantly lit up as they laid sight on you, the door swinging shut silently behind him.

Your head instantly lifted at his voice, a whine escaping your lips before you could stop yourself. It was certainly a reaction to the intense smell of his pheromones - an alpha's pheromones - hitting your nose. A promise of reprieve; a real mate who could satisfy your burning needs and quench the ache between your legs. But it seemed no matter whatever your empty womb was screaming at you, your mind was still the one in charge for now. And he was not who you had been expecting. “I-Izzy?” You looked completely confused at his sudden appearance. Your pupils were completely dilated, and Izana doubted if you could see anything more than a blob in your doorway, though your nose was certainly working. He was glad that you still remembered his scent. “You’re here?” 

Very carefully, Izana crouched to set his gym bag down gingerly, making no sudden or abrupt movement that could surprise you. An almost one-eighty role reversal from his stalking of you from earlier; the white-haired man was suddenly the prey caught in the headlights before your predatory, hungry eyes. The plush floor was soft yet cool against his bare feet as he slowly prodded his way nearer, conscious of the ensnared knots of sheets and what-not that brushed against his toes. “It’s me, baby girl.” He assured you, his tone gentle, warm and comforting, a far cry from the nonchalant, almost playful one that his victims know all too well. "You okay?"

You only grunted and whined in response, the entire pod shuddering under his feet as you struggled, though the handcuffs that kept your hands strung from the ceiling remained firm. 

His cute nickname had always been a misnomer for you when compared to him, Izana knew; as an omega, you were taller, larger and a hella lot stronger than he was. If he stretched it to its limits, the yakuza boss could argue that something as unassuming as 'baby girl' was at least kind of fitting for the regular you: a soft, kind-hearted soul that was so very aware and cautious of yourself. Yet at the peak of your heat with hormones flooding your system and your lust consuming your mind, you certainly weren't someone that the alpha wanted to tick off. More well-built than a beta male he was, but one wrong move and you would snap him in two between your thighs like a stick. 

“Y-you’re not supposed to be here.”

But you were his. You had always been his, and you didn’t have a choice in the matter. Raw strength was just one factor, and no doubt this yakuza boss had many other cards to play. This time, this time he would make sure to claim you once and for all, and make it stick.

Izana ignored your statement. “It’s alright, love. ‘M here now.” His voice was low, a guttural undertone, yet the tanned man still made no move to approach you, instead moving to pull the first of many clothing articles from the bag, bundling it up and tossing it like a ball at you, the cream woolen shirt landing softly on your chest. Taking a step back as you paused in your shifting to cautiously sniff at the new offering presented, it was the first time Izana pulled his gaze away from you, glancing around the pod in which you had built your nest and spent the last few days. 

Bundles of sheets and clothes carefully packed and tangled into a comfortable albeit makeshift mattress, Izana noted that the various shirts and sweaters you laid didn’t belong to you - he had never had any reports of you buying them, nor did they smell entirely like you despite you having drenched everything in your fluids. Combined with the fact that you had been left bound for an unknown period of time, his theory of there being another before him had been right. He was glad he acted on his hunch. If he had been wrong, it would have been just another mark to his already stained name. But now that he was provably right, at least that scum wasn’t something he nor you had to worry about.  Not now, not anymore. 

As you continued to squint suspiciously at his sweater, Izana retrieved another piece, this time a pair of shorts, and flung it to join his sweater on your chest, making sure to keep his gaze down and off of you: he knew you were particular about potential mates looking at you during your evaluation. He knew the cogs were turning in your mind as you struggled between rationality and your need to be filled, his strong, familiar scent as enticing to you as yours was to him. He knew you better than the back of his own hand. 

With your extremely heightened senses, the minimal dim yellow lighting within the pod, combined with the extremely tinted windows, were at just the right comfort level for you. Not that it mattered to his courting ritual - you relied almost completely on your sense of smell during this vulnerable period, and it was the overlapping scents of different pheromones that seemed to confuse you, the made man simply listening on as you alternated sniffing at his clothes and the air around your nest.

"Wh-where m-mate?" You stuttered out of the blue, your mind momentarily winning over the insatiable lust.

“Gone. He left, sweetheart.” 

‎

You whined, whimpered, the high-pitched whistle that escaped your lips - a similar yet different tune that you had used with him - meant to call for your mate to return to you. But there was no one to answer your call in the small, dark space. “Left?” You repeated in disbelief, your voice pitching up. “He left?”

The pod rattled as you attempted to break free from your cuffs, whistling again with more desperation, your chest heaving from the effort as your legs tried and failed to gain the traction you needed against the padded floor again and again, Izana’s offerings sliding off and into the dark abyss of the floor. “Left? Gone? Left?” Completely dilated eyes looked wildly in every direction, as if the nobody you had seduced and manipulated into being your fucktoy was hiding in a corner; your former lover was surprisingly content with watching you work yourself into a frenzy from a safe distance, violet eyes roaming over your body. He had no intention of getting caught up in your thrashing.

A beta male - that was who you picked to fuck you through your heat. A nobody from society’s majority that would have never been able to fulfill you, that would have never been able to get you pregnant, that you would have never been able to mark and bond with. A piece of trash that would have happily gone on his meaningless, worthless life, never earning the feared yakuza’s attention if he had simply stayed away from you. And now he’s left - not of his own accord, but you didn’t need to know that.

You must have been waiting for him all this time.

"He never loved you like I do, baby girl,” the man cooed, stripping his shirt off to reveal toned abs, taking a bold step forward, your eyes immediately swiveling back to fix on him, despairing doe eyes brimming with unshed tears. “That scum was just using you all this time."

The cold air whirled down quietly from the ceiling, a silent ballet that filled the background of your breathing as you tried to wrap your mind around what he was saying, your eyebrows furrowing and twitching as your struggles died down - it couldn’t be easy losing your other half while you were actively in heat, but it was a good sign that you hadn’t attacked him just yet. 

“He’s a little cheater as well.” Izana continued, pulling off his soft pajama pants before taking another step closer, now left in just his silky boxers. All his hair was standing on ends with the glacial temperatures in the pod, yet the tanned man bit down and suppressed as much of his shivering as he could. There was no need to give you any form of weakness to exploit. “Out playing with other mates while you’re suffering in here.” 

A lie, so what? The expression on your face turned confused, your lips flapping for several moments without sound before your voice emerged once more. “O-out? Others?” It was clear that you were completely bewildered by the changing situation and Izana’s lies, your brain cocked up on hormones and your mind melting from lust, unable to think straight or tell facts from falsehoods. All to Izana’s favor, of course.

“Mmmm. He’s never home to look after you.”

“He-he was-”

The delinquent cut you off. “No, he never was. He never bothered to spend any time with you, I know. Hated you, hated being with you. Leaving you alone to go party and drink the night away.”

Your eyes showed the conflicting thoughts raging away behind; you were doubting yourself. Doubting your memories, doubting the subhuman you picked. “He wasn’t?”

“No. He even laid hands on you, remember? Beat you so bad the police were involved.” His low, smooth voice whispered back, soothing and confident. Just a little more - all Izana needed was a little more to tip you over to his side, to believe the little lies he told you. You weren’t going to remember much after the high of your heat anyway, only that you two were bound and marked for life. “But I’m here. I’m here to look after you, baby girl. I’ve always been here for you.”

He wanted you he wanted you he wanted you so bad-

‎

Now just within arm’s reach of you, Izana teasingly snapped the elastic waistband of his boxers, and like butterflies to syrup, those wondrous, beautiful blown eyes of yours snapped downwards. And under your judging gaze, the tanned man slowly pulled down the last remaining article of clothing he had on him, revealing his bare body to you. Straightening up revealed the thick, heavy cock that hung between his legs, erect and straining. Individual strands of white hair that decorated his pubic area shimmered even in the dim light, a well-groomed frame that only helped to enhance the desirability of his cock. Izana couldn’t help but puff up at the catch of your breath, thrusting his hip slightly higher for you to get a better look. He knew what your body lusted for, what your heart was screaming and begging for; only he could fulfill you. Only he loved you.

He could all but feel your warm walls surrounding him, squeezing and clenching down around his length - a recurring dream that he had lived through night after night. His version of heaven that he had lived through once, and yearned to live in forever. But not yet. 

Carefully adding his newest offering of his recently worn pajamas, as well as his underwear, atop your breasts and as close to your face as possible, his tanned hand was just inches shy of brushing against your bare hot skin. If you accepted something so intimate from him, it would be time for the next stage. “It’s me, baby girl. Izzy. You remember me, don’t you?”

‎‎

Like a wave washing over you, the look behind your eyes changed; a certain ferocity roaring to life, overpowering and consuming the almost timid personality the real you had been hiding behind. You had walked straight into his trap. He had been accepted. Yet with your hands still bound above your head, there was little you could do. "Izzy, it- it hurts so bad." You whimpered, wriggling, shifting around in your nest of clothes. Trying to hump yourself against your nest did little to ease your suffering. You needed a dick inside you to soothe the ache and pain. You needed him. "Untie. P-please."

"You know I'll do anything for you, love. But you'll have to do something for me first, okay?"

Coercing. Mate-stealing. Highly illegal crimes that came with hefty punishments for him to be here, courting an omega in the midst of their heat who had already picked their mate. But those stuffy government folks could just add it to his list if they ever grew the balls to come after such a notorious figure as him.

“He didn’t fulfill you, did he, baby girl? He doesn’t know you like I do.” You were hot, burning hot as Izana pressed himself up against you between your legs, his hard dick rubbing firmly against the apex of your legs, your skin radiating heat that warmed his own to its core. The friction against your sensitive clit was a tantalizing glimpse - a promise - of what was to come. “I will, but I want you to mark me first.”

“Mark?” You frowned. “No mark.”

“Mark first.” Izana insisted, leaning forward and tiptoeing to press a chaste kiss to your lips, one hand caressing your cheek even as the other dipped down to play with the rim of your anus. He was lucky to be as tall as he is - even with you seated, the man could barely reach your face while he was humping your pussy. “No mark, no sex.” He whispered into your ear as he kissed a trail down your face and neck.

The normal you would have never agreed. You weren’t interested in marking anyone just yet, and you weren’t ready to mark him, but he wasn’t having it. There was no life, no world without his sun to orbit around, to give his life purpose and meaning, and he needed to make sure that you would only be his. Bound to him forever. He couldn’t live without you. 

Your expression turned ugly in the blink of an eye, and the hiss that seeped from between bared teeth was hair-raising as Izana attempted to nibble down on the marking glands at the crook of your neck. The yakuza boss immediately reeled, pulling away just in time to avoid the swing of your leg, narrowed eyes following the daring alpha as he backed off with both his hands raised in surrender. 

But in the blink of an eye, the anger was gone, evaporated into the blistering cold of the pod, the lust washing over your expression once more. "P-please." You whined, and the tanned man carefully slithered back up to you, eager for the warmth of your embrace - he had made the mistake of rushing the courting process. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

“Dump him. Take me back.” Exposing the crook of his own neck, the harsh grinding of his dick against you only getting firmer as his pheromones filled the air. “Just one mark, and I’ll be all yours. Fuck as long as you want.” He promised. 

‎

You finally caved, a growl gurgling forth from the base of your throat as you lurched forward, biting down and sinking your teeth into the corner of his neck. Izana whimpered, body shaking from the sudden rush of adrenaline that swept through him, violet eyes rolling into the back of his head as you drew blood from his marking glands. You were his. You had marked him, and you were his. Now and forever. 

With a smooth stroke, Izana plunged his entire length into you, the skin of his hip meeting yours in a violet slap. You reeled, releasing him from your teeth, throwing your head back as your toes curled as the other began to pump, long strokes that had him pull himself as far out as he could go before slamming himself back in. Your drooling pussy was more than lubricated enough to take his fat cock without any further preparations, warm walls that clamped down hard around him, milking him for all he was worth. Your body was demanding, a cruel mistress that wanted more and more, and Izana would happily give you anything and everything you wanted. He was all yours.

Brushing your hair aside, he licked your glands several times, enjoying the entire strength of your pheromones and the mild tingling it gave his tongue before chomping down on the crook of your neck - your blood really was as sweet as you. And that was all it took for him to step over the edge of pleasure, and his thrusting became erratic as he came in you, hot cum spurting as deep into you as Izana could go. 

Slumping slightly to take a breath, it was with one trembling hand that the yakuza boss reached out to keep his promise to free you. All it took was a single press of a button on the side of your pod, and the real monster you had temporarily buried emerged the moment your hands were finally freed. You wasted no time in wrapping both around the tanned man’s comparatively tiny waist, strong, muscular arms bodily lifting him into the air with ease. “You better not already be soft,” you snarled, as you lined the tip of his still hard cock up with your still lustful pussy, forcibly pushing him into you once more and setting a brutal pace as you manhandled him as if he weighed nothing more than a doll. As if his dick was no different from a large, warm dildo that occasionally filled you up. “Keep going. More. More.”

White hair flew back and forth at such a speed that it seemed even they had forgotten how to move as you wrangled Izana into going at your pace. One thick digit you had pressed into his anus and firmly kept against his prostate, an attempt to keep the cock that you were thrusting furiously against yourself hard for as long as possible as you licked and salivated over both crooks of his neck before pressing your lips against his in a bruising kiss. “Mine,” you growled, as Izana came again inside you, his body twitching and jerking in your grasp, pressed firmly between your thick thighs. His tongue was loose and heavy, impossible to move into forming any words except grunts and groans, his eyes rolled up in constant pleasure. But there was no rest for the wicked, the white-haired yakuza boss simply made to ride out his orgasm as you started to bounce him once more. You knew he could take it. 

There was no telling how long this session was going to last, but one thing that was clear here and now was that he was entirely yours. 

Outside, the night starry sky had long dominated the sky, yet Kakucho still sat right outside your front door, hand loosely wrapped around the handle of the gun hidden beneath his coat. Even if he had been given strict orders to stop anyone who tried to access your unit, the black-haired man doubted that there would be any trouble - you were an unstoppable force of nature yourself from the short period of time he knew you, and no one would be giving you trouble you didn’t actively get yourself into. He could only hope that his white-haired best friend was still alive and well. Still, the precaution was probably warranted given the smell of you in heat could attract unmarked alphas in the area, not that Kakucho would know what that smelled like.

Taking another chug of soda, his sole working gray eye wandered up from the quiet, uneventful neighborhood to stare at the bright moon beaming down at him. It was probably going to be a long night.

[poiseandprogress]

Poise & Progress: The Game Plan

So in my last blog post (which was also my first might I add) I mentioned that I adore anything relating to leveling up and becoming a femme fatale. And so today I’m choosing to become a part of what I adore. 

Here, I’m laying out my goals and plans on how I will achieve these goals. I’ve decided to categorize them based on the areas of my life that I would like to elevate. I will add that this is neither an original idea or layout. I was inspired by a blog here on tumblr that I’ve been following for a while. (@boujeeceo - they haven’t been active for a while though but you can look through their page of course! I don’t gatekeep.)

Okay, let’s get started with my goals shall we?

One Time Goals:

Save 5k 

Finish my modeling website 

Buy a vlogging camera

Create 3 Sources of income 

Start my social media management/marketing business 

Open my clothing boutique 

Have my own skin care line here in The Bahamas

To Purchase:

Smile direct club 

New bedroom furniture and closet storage (my bedroom needs a SERIOUS makeover)

New Wardrobe essentials (a little difficult considering my personality changes every three months but I think now that I’m laying it all out and building my dream persona it may get easier to manage)

Health & Fitness

Start a workout routine

At home pilates (gyms make me uncomfortable for many reasons)

Daily 30 minute jogs

Healthier diet (wholesome, plant based?)

Intermittent fasting? 

Cut out meat again?

Add more fruits and vegetables to my diet

Create a meal plan and meal prep on Sundays?

Solid Sleep schedule 

Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily (I’m struggling with the idea of this because I feel as though in order to be successful sooner I have to sacrifice some hours of sleep)

Take vitamins daily

Beauty:

Build a solid skincare routine & be consistent with it!

Practice my makeup skills

Learn how to install and style my own wigs

Finances 

Fix my relationship with money!!

SAVE & BUDGET

Increase Income 

Work/Career

Start a side hustle that I can scale into a remote/work from home business that brings in more than my current 9-5 does.  

Relationships:

Making more friends with the same interests as me and ones that have successfully achieved for themselves the lifestyle that I see for myself so that I can learn from them. This also means evaluating my current friendships and putting some distance between me and those that aren’t working on growth. 

Spirituality 

Strengthen relationship with God 

Read 1 chapter of the Bible Daily

Continue to explore my spirituality

Meditate daily

Socials: 

The girlies on every social media platform say that the best way to remain consistent and to be successful when it comes to social media is by niching down. I’ve been working on what my niche could be, based on the type of content that I like to consume and also the type of content that I will be able to post the most given my current location, income, and budget. 

I’m leaning towards: LIFESTYLE | FASHION | BEAUTY

Youtube

Start posting again. It’s that simple, I know it is. 

Hit 500 subscribers by New Years (Currently 292 - All of my past videos are private right now as I’m rebranding)

Meet monetization requirements (500 subscribers, 3 videos within 90 days and 3000 watch hours)

Instagram 

Hit 5k followers by New Year’s Eve (Currently 4,026) 

Create a solid social media strategy & content calendar 

Skills

Complete my social media marketing course 

Learn a new language (currently learning italian seeing that my boyfriend is an old Italian man loll)

Habits: 

Drink a gallon of water daily

Read more books 

Form daily routines 

Hobbies: 

Modeling 

Build my portfolio 

Book more runway stuff 

Travel for modeling

Hobbies that I’d like to start:

Tennis/Golf: I would like to have a physical hobby that can also keep me in shape. And also somewhere that affluent individuals in my community enjoy hanging out.

Traveling: This one feels like a dead giveaway. Of course I want to start traveling more. 

Horseback riding: I used to do it when I was younger and volunteering at a nearby stable. Learning to ride was a requirement but I didn’t stick around long enough to actually get good at it. 

Cooking & Baking (It’s recently become a dream of mine to host a fancy thanksgiving dinner) My family has never really been the baking type and traditional Bahamian meals are great and all but I would like to explore the art of cooking. 

I think for now this is a pretty extensive list of goals and aspirations even though in my head it feels like I’ve only scratched the surface. I’ll be going into more details on different aspects of these things here of course!

[perflorale]

Fragrances i think Rachel Green would wear…

Romance by Ralph Lauren

This is a clean and light fragrance. Floral but not so over powering. It’s feminine and I know of some people who have worn this to the gym and to work. Its not so in your face so it’s appropriate for the work environment. Rachel Green works at Ralph Lauren too, so this fragrance is definitely one i can see her wearing. I don’t see her as having a specific every day scent, she doesn’t like routine or to restrict herself like that, but this fragrance is a favourite of hers at work and it’s definitely a contender for every day. She’s fashionable in an effortless way, she doesn’t ever overdo it with how she dresses but is always put together and this fragrance encapsulates that perfectly. Its effortless but very pretty. She’s also a romantic at heart, a big reader of romance novels, in addition to her love for soap operas. This fragrance is romantic in that sense too. Its a sophisticated fragrance that doesn’t try too hard and i think its definitely something she’d love.

Coco Noir By Chanel

I can see Rachel as being a Chanel girlie. She does seem to enjoy wearing Chanel perfume in the earlier seasons, if I remember correctly its definitely mentioned. Coco noir is a very sexy and sophisticated perfume. I can see this being her fragrance for special occasions. Maybe she attends a formal event, or has a date. I can see her reaching for this in those occasions. The perfect perfume to wear with a classy dress. It opens up fresh with citruses at the top and settles into something warm, deep and rich with the sandalwood, cloves, vanilla, tonka and benzoin at the base. It’s timeless.

Paris Paris (Les Eaux Des Chanel) by Chanel

Another Chanel perfume. To reiterate, I see her as a Chanel type of girl. This is the one that stood out to me the most from Chanel’s Eaux des Chanel line. This line is inspired by destinations that are dear to Gabrielle Chanel, with each perfume in it being dedicated to a particular city. I chose Paris Paris for Rachel as it is part of her storyline towards the end where she is offered a job in Paris. This fragrance is best described as pretty. It’s light and fun and really matches her girl next door vibe. I can also see this being a pretty wedding scent and she was first introduced as a bride in the pilot episode. Its just a very pretty scent. Its got pink pepper and citruses at the top, giving it a sharp opening but then it's also softened by that rose note in the middle and the patchouli at the base gives it that sophistication that Chanel is so known for. Remember I said Rachel isn’t too strict with having an everyday scent? I feel like she alternates a lot and between this and Ralph Lauren’s romance. I can see her rocking both everyday. Alternatively there is also another perfume from this line i would have chosen for her, which is Paris-Venise since she had that whole storyline with Paulo and he’s Italian, but I thought this one suited her better.

Mixed Emotions by Byredo

Another contender for Rachel’s everyday fragrance, or maybe just a fragrance she wears on occasion and finds nostalgic, as perfumes often evoke memories for most of us. I feel like the name of this fragrance is also very accurate as a representation of her infamous relationship with Ross. Maybe this is a fragrance they both shared? It's unisex and could be for both Ross & Rachel. This is a lovely tea centred fragrance with mate in the opening and tea leaves in the middle, the base is quite green as well with woods and plants such as birch and papyrus. It’s an earthy scent sweetened by a fruity opening thanks to the black currant top note. It’s a very strong yet sweet and tame scent and there's something calming about it. Also to quote Phoebe, “Rachel’s just more flexible and mellow.” This is a fresh earthy scent. I definitely can see this as a fragrance Rachel would wear when pampering herself, as she frequents spas on occasion, or a perfume she and Ross would have worn together, at least when they weren’t on a break.

🌸 If you want to see more fragrance match ups for characters you love, or for yourself hit me with an ask! 🌸

[pandemicperipatetics]

Living in Park Slope, Brooklyn

We lived in Park Slope for ~18 months and really enjoyed the neighborhood for its peaceful, quiet vibes. Unlike other places we've lived in NYC, the streets are typically uncrowded and quiet with rarely any shouting outside our home and minimal honking from cars, and people generally seem less rushed. The close proximity to Prospect Park - designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, like Central Park - was definitely a perk, as was having relatively easy access to Manhattan via the subway. We also liked how large, affordable, and relatively not crowded our gym was.

On the flip side, the commute time to Manhattan was long (45 mins at best to midtown, but best to budget an hour for delays), and with longer subway wait times on weekends, we often stayed in the neighborhood vs. venturing into "the city." Most of the housing stock is very old brownstones (ours is from the 1890s), which comes with maintenance issues, lack of elevators, and some level of decrepitude (this was a HUGE problem in the duplex we rented, which had constant maintenance issues and vermin and a very checked-out landlady). And the vegetarian food options are rather depressing -- the neighborhood is overflowing with pasta/pizza joints (yay carbs, but no veg protein), sugary dessert shops, a seemingly disproportionate amount of non-A grade restaurants (per the NYC food safety rating system), and generally mediocre tasting food.

Our time in the neighborhood was split across a 1-bedroom sublet (4th floor walkup for ~3 months) and a 2-bedroom duplex brownstone (garden & parlor levels for ~15 months). Both were based in "South Slope", the even quieter subsection of the neighborhood that is slightly deeper into Brooklyn than "North Slope" (which is more central and closer to express train lines to Manhattan such as the Q and 2/3).

Our Favorite (Vegetarian) Food

While the healthy vegetarian options were not plentiful and a lot of the restaurants are aggressively mediocre compared to Manhattan fare, there were still some places we really enjoyed eating in the neighborhood. These were some of our favorite sit-down spots in/near South Slope, with the caveat that none of them had great veg protein so we only at there as exceptions to our regular routine:

Lore - One of the most upscale places in the neighborhood, and known for its Indian fusion and other "culturally diverse" dishes. For us, this was the best Indian food in the neighborhood (not that there was much competition) and generally really delicious. A reservation is typically needed for dinner, but walk-ins seem possible for brunch/lunch. Closed Mondays.

Pasta Louise - While I generally avoid pasta places for dinner given the heavy carb/low vegetarian protein ratio and tendency towards mediocrity, Pasta Louise's food is actually delicious. We loved the farro salad and many of the vegetarian pastas. The vibe is also very friendly and wholesome, and there are often families with kids. Wait times are generally long if you don't have a reservation.

Haenyo - Korean food. There's only one vegetarian entree - the tofu bibimbap - but it's excellent! Good to make a reservation here, though we were able to walk in on a weekend for dinner once (with a ~20 min wait).

Crosta - More Italian food. While there's no vegetarian protein to be found here, I enjoyed everything I tried, especially the vegetarian lasagna and also the salad and pizzas.

Krupa Grocery - Also in Windsor Terrace, the fake (vegetarian) chicken dish and gnocchi are pretty tasty here. This restaurant doesn't hold a candle to our favorites in Manhattan, but for days that we didn't want to leave the neighborhood, it was a good option for us. We really liked the cute backyard full of picnic tables and string lights.

Bonus: We didn't often venture into North Slope, but we did really enjoyed eating at Fausto there. Not a lot of vegetarian protein but the food was delicious.

We sometimes found better vegetarian protein options at the fast casual places in the neighborhood, including our favorites:

Two Boots - This is the best vegan pizza we know. We love the V for Vegan slice. It's not high in protein, but a delicious treat. Park Slope lifers probably hate it because it's a chain, but hey, it's good! For another pizza place, Norm's Pizza was also pretty good (though not vegan) - I liked their signature vodka sauce pizza.

Taim - Also a chain, and a great spot for make-your-own Mediterranean bowls. Better than Cava, in my opinion (not that there's a Cava in the neighborhood). The falafel comes with some protein and you can also add boiled eggs for some more.

Just Salad - Another chain. Because sadly Park Slope doesn't have many healthy vegetarian options that aren't chains. The salads here are actually quite delicious and you can add tofu to any of them, so this is obviously a winner for us.

Electric Beets - Small business with a bunch of all-vegetarian (vegan?) takeaway foods such as burritos with tofu, vegetarian lasagna, noodles, etc. The food was generally pretty good and we really liked that they had vegetarian protein in several dishes. The owner is also very friendly.

Hanco's - Vietnamese food. The tofu banh me is pretty good, as are the glass noodles with tofu. Think they also do have a few locations in NYC, though I don't really think of it as a chain.

Syko - Syrian/Korean fusion in neighboring Windsor Terrace. Featured in The New Yorker while we lived in the area. We liked the Fatboy, a massive scallion pancake sandwich that left us both with a food hangover after sharing one between us. Unfortunately, we didn't see this on the menu recently.

Sandwich Girl Cafe - We liked the breakfast burrito. Not the best breakfast burrito we've ever had, but definitely the best we've had in Park Slope.

Candidly, there were lots of places we tried in the neighborhood that were very disappointing in terms of the food taste. These included places that people love to love, like Miriam (Mediterranean food) and Masalawala (very spicy Indian food), and places that we'd never heard of but popped in to try. There were some places that were decent but not great, especially relative to their high prices, like Couleur Cafe. And there were places where the menus looked so unappealing for vegetarians that we never bothered to try them. So once we discovered the places we liked, we largely stuck to them.

Cafes, Bakeries, Dessert

Park Slope has tons and tons of cafes, bakeries, and dessert shops. It makes for a more European vibe. Some of my favorites were Culture (for frozen yogurt in the summertime, and yes it's a chain), Variety Coffee Roasters (good chai latte, has quite a lot of seating although often full, and you guessed it...a chain), Muse Cafe (mediocre food/drink tbh, but plenty of seating and always seemed to have seats available), and Techne Cafe (delicious croissants and drinks). The area is also known for Winner, a bakery that releases specific types of breads/baked goods at certain hours throughout the day (and attracts long lines for them). Given I'm not big on carbs this wasn't a favorite for me, and their challah was pretty mediocre, but people love to love Winner. There are many, many more cafes and bakeries in the neighborhood and I'm sure lots of them have tasty treats.

Notably, it was hard to find a decent bagel in the area, although Bagel Pub (...a chain) was generally pretty good. Ironically, we like Brooklyn Bagel, which is located in NoHo (Manhattan), better than anything we tried in Park Slope.

Things to Do

This is the kind of neighborhood that is a great place to live in relative peace. It's less about attractions or things to do in the way that Manhattan, or even some other neighborhoods of Brooklyn, are. So when it comes to things to do, at least for DINKs like us, there was not a lot. We really enjoyed walking and jogging in Prospect Park, which felt like a true getaway from the city. Walking around Greenwood Cemetery was also quite pretty. I enjoyed some of the local bookshops, like The Ripped Bodice (women-focused bookshop, only one other location in Los Angeles) and Powerhouse on 8th (independent bookstore).

Otherwise, finding things to do was more about getting out of the neighborhood - whether to head to other parts of Brooklyn for the gorgeous Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, the (IMO, mediocre) Brooklyn Museum, or a (usually avant garde) show at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, or to head into Manhattan for world-class museums, shows, and food.

Park Slope does seem to have quite a few places that offer activities for kids - pottery studio, art classes, music classes, etc. There is also a Nitehawk Cinema right across from Prospect Park (I don't watch a lot of movies and never visited).

Ultimately, we enjoyed our time living in Park Slope and were also glad to leave the decrepitude of our housing situation and the long commute in to work.

[butterflyintochains]

Can I Have This Dance?

Columbus conquered, the eastern leg of the tour is finally done, three weeks of rest before they go west to Chicago. Dancing takes a lot out of the body, but Veronica Faulkner would never give it up for anything in this world. Veronica packs her dance bag, and goes to meet with her boyfriend. Dustin wraps his arms around her, and kisses her cheek. ''You, angel, are the best dancer in the world.'' Veronica laughs, her company - based in DC - have done a show on Prime called 'The DC Dance-off'. She and her partner, Alexander, have won both of the first two seasons. ''Thank you, starlight. Did you like our dances?'' She asks.

Dustin nods, he's always so proud of her talents. ''Yeah, your Waltz had me going for a minute, my jaw was on the floor during that Argentine Tango, and you were on fire during that Group Salsa.'' Veronica beams up at him, and gets an idea. ''Do you want to learn how to dance? I can teach you if you want.''

Dustin says, always doubting himself with the unknown. ''I dunno, Vero, I've danced at weddings, but I kinda suck at it.'' Veronica assures him. ''You're a musician, amore, you're halfway there already. I've taught pensioners to dance, and have never turned out a bad dancer.'' Dustin says, seeming kind of scared based on what he saw from her tonight. ''I don't think I could do Roxanne any justice.'' Veronica shrugs. ''That's fine, that routine took us months to put together. We could start with a Waltz - something slow and simple. Then, if you're comfortable, graduate up to a Foxtrot. What d'you say?''

Dustin kisses her lips, her Italian spirit never fails to enchant him, she inspires him. ''Okay. Let's do this.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so, they get started. Veronica has acquired some extra men's dance shoes from the company in Dustin's size. They're using a room at a local gym for their sessions while Vero is in Ohio. She puts her practice skirt on, and scrolls through her Spotify for a good song. She finds 'What The World Needs Now' by Burt Bacharach. ''Dustin, take a listen to this song and tell me what you think.'' He borrows one of her earphones, and listens to the song quickly. ''Yeah, sounds good.''

First, Veronica shows him how to warm up properly for dancing; which muscles to stretch, how to keep his posture right, and how to keep his toes pointed. ''Okay, are you ready to get going?'' Dustin nervously nods, but says. ''Yeah, let's go.'' She teaches him a proper ballroom hold, and slowly guides Dustin through the technique. They have some lunch, Veronica asks. ''How are you finding this, amore?'' Dustin says, adjusting his glasses. ''Not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I dunno, I just see you dance, and it looks so complex, but you make it look so easy.''

Veronica chuckles. ''I was a rookie once upon a time too, Dustin, we all were.'' They get back to work, Veronica coaching Dustin through how to lead her around the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They make enough progress to add the song in by Wednesday, Dustin seems to be picking this dance up really well all things considered. So, Veronica adds some flairs to the choreography, no lifts. But, some twirls, a reverse fleckerl, and a dip. ''You are doing so well with this dance, Dustin. I am a very proud girlfriend and teacher right now.''

Dustin flushes a bit, but says. ''Thank you, I'm surprised at how good this feels myself. Is it weird, though, dancing with someone who isn't Alex?''

Veronica thinks, she and Alex have been partners since she was nine and he was ten, and they've never danced with anyone else. ''A little, but I am so glad I'm doing this with you. I think Brock would've driven me nuts.'' They get back to dancing, an idea forming in Veronica's head as they work on the dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veronica explains her idea to Dustin on their Thursday session, she wants to perform this dance at the band's next acoustic show in Cincinnati. The show is on Tuesday, so it would give them plenty of time to get the dance together, and for her to ask for her dress from Josephine. ''Y'know something, Vero? I think that's an amazing idea.'' Veronica beams, excited for their little performance already. ''Awesome, besides, you've gotten so good, it'd be a shame to waste this dance, wouldn't it?''

Dustin nods, and says. ''We should inform the band, they'd get a huge shock if we rocked up in a suit and dress for this without telling them what's going on first.'' Veronica nods, adjusting her hair, she knows Dustin hates not telling at least Ron everything. ''Yeah, totally.'' They keep on refining the dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday comes, the band and Veronica are chilling on the bus before the show begins, Dustin gives the lowdown on their little plan. Veronica sitting right beside him as he does. ''So, what d'you guys think?'' Dustin asks.

Siobhan beams, and says. ''That sounds amazing, guys, I for one want to see the work you've been doing this week.'' Ron, ever the second in command of the ship, says. ''Why not? Adds something new to the experience for one night only, right?'' Veronica smiles, relieved. ''Cool, we won't let you down.''

Brock jokes. ''Oh, we know you won't, Miss Pro Dancer. It's Mr Two Left Feet I'm worried about.'' Veronica places a hand on her boyfriend's knee, and says. ''Just you wait, Richards.''

While the band head into the venue, Dustin gets his black suit on with his dancing shoes. Veronica slips into her blush pink and lilac Waltz dress with her ballroom shoes. And, they head inside themselves.

Once inside, Dustin takes his place at the mic, and says to the audience. ''Okay, good evening, everyone. I'm dressed a little differently, but for a good reason. My lovely girlfriend, Veronica, is a professional dancer. And, we have a little surprise for you and my bandmates. Ready, Vero?''

Veronica nods, and says. ''Yeah, let's do this.'' She sets the song up with Cory, and they take to the floor. She gives Cory the nod, and they begin their Waltz. Gliding as they turn about the floor, Dustin keeping her pinned to his side, effortlessly leading the dance as she showed him how. Veronica letting herself be swept away by this moment, her first dance with the man she loves, and she's certain it's not the last. He spins her under his arm, and dips her gently to finish the dance. They share an embrace and a kiss to massive applause. Zuzana and Siobhan are drying their eyes. ''See? Told you you could do it.'' Veronica says. Dustin kisses her again. ''Thank you so much for believing in me. Foxtrot next time you're in town?''

Veronica nods. ''Foxtrot it is.'' Someone from the audience asks her, clearly surprised at how good that dance was. ''How long have you been dancing, Veronica?''

Veronica says, holding Dustin's hand. ''I'm 28 now, and was 6 when I started. I did the Competitions with my partner. Now we tour, do our company show, and teach.'' Dustin kisses her hand, and steps up to the mic again. ''Thank you for being so receptive to that, my first time actually dancing, couldn't have asked for a better person to do that with. So, we'll be right back, see you in a few minutes.'' They go back to the bus to change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the show goes smoothly, Veronica takes some questions of her own from the Messengers afterwards. ''How was Dustin as a student, Veronica?'' A man called Jake asks her. Veronica sips her water. ''The model student and dance partner, very enthusiastic to learn this dance. I've never turned out a bad dancer, the streak stays alive.''

His wife, a woman called Natalie, asks her. ''Was he nervous to begin with?'' Veronica looks over to him, looking at a fan's artwork for one of their albums. ''Yeah, but we got through it. I think starting him off with a Waltz was smart too, it's a slower dance.'' Zuzana comes by to say. ''That was the most beautiful thing I've seen all year, Vero.'' Veronica beams, and says. ''Thank you so much, Zuzu. I am so proud of Dustin too.''

Cory says, joining the circle. ''So you should be, I hope someone puts that on YouTube, it was so elegant.'' Veronica and Dustin share a gaze across the room, their love deepening, if that's even possible. Adam nudges his frontman, but Dustin only has eyes for his dancer tonight.

[tomydearfutureself]

Hey there! Today is 28th of December

So, I have absolutely no intention of turning this in to a rentable or famous page. I just want to remember the feeling of when I started for real.

Well, that was actually a few weeks ago, but the thought counts right?

I do not recall when we began, I just remember now, where I am addicted to exercise, counting my food, eating as well as I can (you know what I mean) an obviously, feeling good.

Somehow we started and we are following through. Not easy, there are days we don't even show up or get out of bed, but we try a lot.

I am gonna try to use this safe space to track down our journey, our hikes, our low points and the important achievements.

Kind of like the memoir book we always thought about writing.

Alright, so where are we?

Now we are on a consistent routine of going to the gym in the mornings, sometimes just stretching, working a bit of core and then 30min on elliptical because that's just good (and you watch the Big Bang theory).

Work wise we are teaching, cooking privately and trying our best to now find a third job haha.

College plans are coming up, we are starting to learn 3 languages (but come on, German and Italian it is just about to be better, not really learn).

And today we created our "100 things to do in 2024", defined our goals for next year and are really trying not to freak out about the Amazon delivery that's coming today.

So, first update it is done, hopefully in a month or a year this place will be filled with the stories and moments about the wellness journey we started. The most needed mental health trip we embarked.

See ya!

[dietplan5]

Get All the Information You Need to Lose Weight Right Now

Many people find it difficult to lose weight. Healthy habits and willpower are key to weight loss. 7 days keto diet plan

Breakfast is an essential part of losing weight. Fast weight loss can be achieved by eating breakfast every day.

Salads are a simple way to lose weight. Salads are good choices because they are high in fiber, which will fill you up and not burn calories.

Cauliflower can be used as a substitute for mashed potatoes. Simply steam the cauliflower with some onion, then puree it with vegetable stock or poultry. Next, add chopped onions to your pureed mixture. Finally, heat it up with chicken broth or vegetable. This side dish is delicious and satisfying with very little carbs.

A great tip to lose weight is to eat slower. When food is digested, people feel fuller. Your body takes some time to let your brain know that you are full. Take a bite and put your fork down. This will allow you to feel satisfied without having to eat too much.

When you feel hungry, a small amount of protein can help you lose weight.

When dieting, avoid fried foods. There are many healthy ways to make food taste great and be healthier. There are many ways to prepare food that taste just as good, including poaching, baking and broiling. These techniques will help you keep a slim figure.

Exercise in groups can be more enjoyable and something you will want to do often. Take a walk with your family and neighbors. Play sports with friends. You can lose weight by engaging in fun and rewarding activities.

As you lose weight, don't be too attached to other people. Everybody loses weight at their own pace. Some people lose weight faster than others.

There are many diets that will not get you the results you want. You can sign up for a gym or commit to an exercise program. Exercise should be a part of your daily routine. This is the only way to lose more calories than you eat.

You can reduce the amount of calories that you consume each day. Two times as many calories are found in one gram fat than in one gram carbohydrate or carb. Reduce the intake of foods high in fat and oils, and reduce your intake of dairy.

You will find the most nutritious foods that are rich in nutrition, such as meats, vegetables and fruits, along the perimeter of the store. Most foods and beverages found on shelves and in aisles are devoid of nutrition. Think salty chips, salty snacks, and junk food.

To burn fat, you must eat it. These legumes are key ingredients of a healthy lifestyle that makes weight loss possible.

You can lose weight by eating at home rather than going out. People who eat at their own homes are more likely to choose healthier foods. It will also help you save money.

Reduced intake of fatty foods such as french fries can do wonders not only for your waistline but also for your skin. Research has shown that a low-fat diet and more protein will have many benefits.

These can be served with low-fat salad dressings for extra flavor. This will reduce your intake of fat and increase your overall nutrition.

Buffets are not recommended for those who tend to gain weight quickly. Buffets with all-you can eat specials encourage you eat lots of food to get your money's worth.

When you want to lose weight, sleep is crucial. You are more likely to be overweight if you get less sleep than that.

To lose weight, you must get enough sleep. Insufficient sleep can lead to an increase in hormones, which can cause overeating.

Although weight loss is an important goal, it doesn't have to be your only goal.

Don't give in to your urges. To curb a craving, you could brush your teeth. To control your appetite, you can also clean gross objects and watch a scary movie.

This type of research will help you to find the best deals for fresh and healthy protein.

Try making spaghetti without the pasta if you love Italian food. This is a simple recipe that you can make: Mix zucchini, vegetable meatballs and tomato sauce together. This recipe is delicious and lower in calories. This can be done with many different dishes.

Keep track of your exercise and food intake.

A solid plan and a strict follow-through will help you succeed in your weight loss efforts. There will be times when you feel tempted to eat unhealthy foods. Make a plan and choose healthy, low-calorie snacks instead of tempting foods.

To see if dairy is affecting your weight, you can try removing it from your diet. People who are lactose intolerance or have a milk allergy may not be aware of their condition. The owner may feel bloated and gain weight as a result.

You don't have to carry extra weight around with you forever. You will see a natural change in your weight when you make healthy decisions. It is possible to lose weight if you believe it can be done and make the right decisions.

[helaintoloki]

Everybody Loves Somebody

pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: slight language, themes of insecurity, angst, pining, slow burn (kinda?), eventual fluff, over 5k words in length

notes: it’s finally finished! this took forever but I swear I put my entire soul into making this as perfect as it could be. I’ve never used this format before in my writing and it was challenging but also super fun so hopefully you guys like it :) (also yes the title and the fic somewhat is inspired by the Dean Martin song)

summary: Thrown into a blind date against his will, Bucky does his best to prepare in the days leading up to Saturday night, a feat that proves to be much more difficult than expected thanks to his neighbor across the hall.

Sunday

Three quick raps on the apartment door force Bucky to kick back the covers and sluggishly rise from his spot on the floor. He’s exhausted, but his recognition of the evenly spaced knocks on the wooden frame has him feeling compelled to answer, and so he does. Too tired to notice the television is still droning on in the background, Bucky idly wraps his discarded blanket around his form to shield his vibranium arm before opening the door to greet the old man standing on the other side.

“Rough night, huh?” Yori greets with a knowing smile.

“Something like that,” he replies with a tired, lopsided grin. “What are you doing here so early?”

“I set you up on a date,” the man says casually, as if setting Bucky up on dates without his knowledge and against his will is a common every day occurrence, and it is. “Saturday evening at six.”

“What— A date? Yori—“

“She’s a nice girl, very pretty. I think you’ll like her.”

“Now hang on a minute,” Bucky tries to interject, but Yori is already halfway down the hall before the super soldier can get another word in.

“You’re meeting her at the Italian place down the street!” Yori calls behind him. “She likes sunflowers!”

The old man’s shouts are sure to have woken up the entire fourth floor by now, but Bucky is too busy trying to process the jumble of information that has been thrust upon him so suddenly and so early in the morning to care. The last date Yori had sent him on had ended in disaster; Bucky wasn’t ready to get back out on the field, a stable relationship wasn’t in the cards for him. Surely no one in their right mind would stick around once they found out the truth about the man, and if they did it would only be a matter of time before the constant nightmares and extra baggage that came with dating the ex-Hydra assassin sent them running for the hills. But Yori meant well, Bucky knew that, and he also knew he owed the man more than he could ever give him in return, so if sitting through another painfully uncomfortable date would make him happy, then Bucky would just have to suck it up, put on the nicest shirt he owned, and charm his way through another awkward dinner.

“Sunflowers,” he grumbles to himself, quietly shutting the door before returning to his spot on the cold hardwood floor.

Monday

Monday mornings are gym mornings, early workouts that start at five and end at seven. He promptly returns to the apartment building at seven thirty, eight if he stops for breakfast, then goes to check the mail before heading back to the comfort of his sheltered apartment. He doesn’t receive much other than grocery coupons and an odd letter from the government every now and then, but he’s been told that a routine is good, it’s healthy, so on Monday mornings at seven thirty—or eight— Bucky pulls out his keys and opens his assigned metal box with a sense of indifference.

It’s eight o’clock on this particular morning, and with a half finished cup of coffee in hand the soldier opens the little metal compartment to find nothing other than stray specks of dust and the tiniest of spiderwebs in the top right corner of the box. It’s a familiar sight, but Bucky has learned not to let it bother him by now. Remember James, it has nothing to do with you, his therapist always said. You have to learn not to take things personally.

“It has nothing to do with me,” Bucky murmurs quietly before finally shutting his mailbox with a sigh. Coffee cup discarded in the nearby trash can, Bucky turns to make his trek towards the elevator only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of a beautifully familiar face.

Your name is y/n, you live on the fourth floor, and for someone reason you’re always covered in glitter. You’re on your way out the door, art supplies held clumsily in your grasp just begging to jump free from your hold, and despite the rush you seem to be in you still greet the man with a polite smile.

“Good morning,” you chime, honey coated voice filled with warmth and kindness for the stranger. Bucky simply gives you a halfhearted smile in return, watching you walk out the door and wishing he could just muster up the courage to speak to you.

You won the soldier’s heart the day you knocked on his door to drop off a “welcome to the neighborhood” casserole. It had only been his second day in his new apartment, and while he knew some of the other tenants were weary of the mysterious man with the thousand yard stare who had decided to call the building a home, you never once seemed to bat an eye at Bucky or his closed off nature. He had been a little short with you upon your first meeting, his anxiety coming off as annoyance, but still you wore that same kind smile of yours and assured him that if he ever needed anything you’d be happy to help. You were a kind person with a big heart, and Bucky didn’t want to chance snuffing out one of the few lights left in the world, so he let you be. Admiring you from afar was all he let himself have of you, and that was it.

Though, Bucky would be lying if he said you didn’t come across his mind every once in a while. He wondered what you were like, what music you listened to, how you liked your eggs in the morning, if you were an old soul or young at heart, if you’d ever let yourself fall into in the arms of a broken man and help pick up the pieces. It was a pipe dream, but sometimes a friendly smile from you in the morning was enough to get Bucky through an entire day. He hadn’t been with anyone in years, and while he didn’t think he was ready to get back out on the dating scene just yet he knew that if you asked him to he’d take the plunge in a heartbeat. You were an angel, and Bucky would never be able to bring himself to taint you with his touch.

Monday mornings are workout mornings, but they’re also mornings with you.

Tuesday

On Tuesday afternoons Bucky often finds himself in the company of Yori, ensuring the old man stays out of trouble and going out of his way to make sure his newest friend has a nice day out on the town. It isn’t much, and it never will be, but it’s enough for now, at least until Bucky can find the courage to tell the father just what exactly happened to his son on that fateful night. But until then, sushi for lunch will have to do.

He makes his usual trek to the man’s apartment, stomach already beginning to rumble at the prospect of a nice crunch roll, but Bucky’s hunger is soon replaced with nerves at the sight of the woman standing in Yori’s doorway.

You look pretty today, hair haphazardly styled in your rush out the door this morning, colorful stains of dry paint adoring your hands that clutch a bundle of books close to your chest, and a dangly pair of earrings that glint underneath the sunlight pouring through the hallway windows. There’s a smile on your face as you nod along to something Yori says that doesn’t quite register in the soldier’s jumbled thoughts, and the two of you are both too engrossed to notice his lingering presence standing just a few feet away.

“Thank you so much for lending me these. The kids keep me on my toes and I haven’t had any time to settle down with a good book so these were perfect,” you utter gratefully, handing off the pile of poetry books to Yori’s awaiting hands. Names of authors that Bucky doesn’t recognize catch his eye, just as his friend finally catches his presence.

“Of course. I have more if you’re ever interested,” he says before finally addressing the elephant in the hallway. “James, there you are. I was starting to think you wouldn’t make it.”

Bucky stiffens at the sound of his name, heat immediately crawling up his neck as you turn to him with a friendly smile. Clearing his throat, he steps forward and musters up a meager grin in return.

“Like I’d ever miss Tuesday lunch,” he jokes, a nervous chuckle falling past his lips.

“I guess I better get going. Thank you again, Yori,” you chime with a grateful smile. Then, with your attention turned to Bucky, “Have a nice lunch, James.”

“Thank you...” he trails quietly, mentally kicking himself for his stiff demeanor and wishing he could be less pathetic in your presence just once. Just once and he’d die a happy man.

You leave with a polite smile, turning down the hallway and out of Bucky’s grasp once again. Yori elbows his side.

“She’s single, you know.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Bucky replies with a wry chuckle. “You have me set up with one girl already.”

“Right,” Yori notes thoughtfully with a knowing smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes that Bucky can’t quite decipher. “I think you’re going to have a nice time on your date.”

“We’ll see,” is all he says in reply, your smile the only thing on his mind as the two men head out for the day.

Wednesday

Bucky has grown to love rainy days, days in which he can remain tucked away in the warmth and comfort of his own home with a relaxing mug of hot chocolate in one hand and some piece of pop culture media he has yet to catch up with in the other. Today’s pick is a book titled The Outsiders, and Bucky chooses to sit upon the windowsill to read the novel.

Gentle drops of rain trail down the glass window, pattering soothingly in a way that makes Bucky fear he may fall asleep. He sets the book aside with a tired sigh and glances out the window with his warm cheek pressed against the cool surface; the city is quiet and the streets nearly empty, and this makes it easier to spot you.

It’s almost as if you’ve been popping up out of nowhere lately, but Bucky never seems to mind. Watch from afar, that was the deal he made with himself, so who was he to complain if you made the task easier for him? He could never have you the way he wanted to because he doubted you’d ever want an unstable old man like him, and even if you did he’d be no good for you. He knew girls like you back in his day, girls with stars in their eyes and hearts on their sleeves, girls who’d melt in his arms whenever he so much as smiled at them. And yet you weren’t like any girl he’d ever seen; you were an enigma and he wanted nothing more than to spend all of eternity deciphering the mystery of you. But he couldn’t, because he shouldn’t, so he didn’t.

Despite the gloomy gray skies hanging above you there’s a serene smile on your face as you stop to admire the pots of sunflowers outside the building, reminding Bucky he has to buy some for his date on Saturday. God, he was dreading it. Bucky was sure whatever girl Yori picked for him would be nice enough, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sometimes wish it were you he’d be taking out for a night on the town. A guy can dream, right?

You retreat into a nearby coffee shop when the rain begins to fall harder, and as Bucky turns to his own warm drink he finds that the mug is now cold. Book discarded, he rises from his spot on the windowsill and drowsily drags himself into the kitchen for another cup.

For a moment he thinks sunflowers might surely bring about his demise, and the passing thought brings the smallest of smiles to his face. Only time will tell.

Thursday

“How are you feeling about your date on Saturday?”

The woman stares at him expectantly, pristine notepad resting casually in her lap, pen in hand as a warning, eyebrows raised at the man as he stares down contemplatively at the stitching of his leather gloves. What should be a comforting environment instead only seems to put him on edge, and as the seconds tick by on the clock hung crookedly above the doorway her pen only seems to get closer to the blank page below her. Shoulders sagging, Bucky can only offer a small sigh in response.

“I can’t say I feel too great about it,” he finally says, the tension in his shoulders alleviating slightly as she finally puts the pen down.

“And why’s that?” Doctor Raynor prods curiously.

“I just don’t really think I’m all that ready for a relationship. What person wants to be with someone as screwed up as me?”

“The right person will,” Christina comforts. Your smiling face flashes briefly in his mind in response and he shifts in discomfort— the doctor notices. “But I don’t think you’re telling me the full story here, James. I suspect there’s something else that’s holding you back. Or maybe someone.”

“That obvious, huh?” Bucky retorts with a wry smile.

“Who’s the lucky person?”

“Her name’s y/n,” he says, your name falling past his lips in the softest tone Dr. Raynor has ever heard from him before. “I don’t know her all that well, but she lives in my apartment building so I see her around a lot. She’s... she’s really pretty.”

“Well, what is it about y/n that you like?”

Geez, where do I even begin?

“I don’t know,” Bucky shrugs, picking absently at a loose seam on the end of his shirt, “I guess I like how friendly she is. Every time I see her she’s always smiling, she always says good morning to everyone and lends a hand wherever she can. It’s like she goes out of her way to be nice to me, and I’m not really used to that but it’s a nice feeling. The first time I met her she never even flinched, she wasn’t scared like other people usually are, and even when I blew her off she still made it clear that I was welcome and if I needed a friend she’d be there. That’s the kind of person she is.”

“Did you take her up on that offer?” The woman asks, but by the look on her face Bucky is sure she already knows the answer.

“No...”

“James, we’ve talked about this,” Christina says firmly, “you have to stop closing yourself off from the people around you. Making a friend could really help you, especially if this girl is truly as nice as you say she is.”

“She is,” he reiterates firmly, “and that’s why I can’t be her friend.”

The doctor’s brows furrow with piqued interest at his admission, legs shifting underneath her as she gets comfortable in preparation for what will most likely be a heavy confession. “Can you elaborate for me?” She says. Bucky sighs.

“After everything that’s happened, and everything the world has been through, it just gets harder and harder to find some sort of light in the dark. So when you finally do find it, it’s like you have to do everything in your power to make sure it never goes out.”

“So y/n is a light?” Raynor reaffirms.

“For so many people,” Bucky nods, “and if I try to put myself in the picture I’ll only bring her down. There’s no future with me, and she deserves better than that.”

“How do you know that if you never put yourself out there?” The doctor asks softly, silently stunned by the heavy confession Bucky has entrusted her with; it’s the most he’s ever opened up before.

Pieces of the past dart through his mind, and in the midst of all the heartache and the chaos he sees Yori, the one friendship he’s been able to successfully maintain since his period of healing. The memory of the man is pleasant for a moment, until Bucky is reminded of the basis of their friendship and how one single confession will tear down everything they’ve built together. It doesn’t matter what kind of man he is now or how much control he has over his own life, the Winter Soldier will always have the final say, and nothing will ever change that. Finally, he speaks.

“I just do.”

Friday

“Crap.”

The softly uttered curse sounds from across the hallway and alerts Bucky of his struggling neighbor’s presence. Purse slipping off your shoulder and heavy groceries spilling from your arms, you struggle to maneuver your key into the lock of your front door all while the heat of embarrassment engulfs your body in a suffocating hold. You’re not as put together as you usually are, your belongings in disarray and eyes full of exhaustion rivaling that of his own, your usually meticulously picked clothing replaced by joggers and an old college sweatshirt that’s three sizes too big on you, and yet Bucky still finds himself frozen in your presence.

Don’t just stand there, help her you idiot, his mind screams at him, the soldier harshly swallowing down his nerves before taking shaky steps towards you. An orange slips out of the brown paper bag and rolls towards his feet, and Bucky takes it as his in into a conversation.

“Need some help?” He asks with a crooked smile, one that softens at the look of distress clear in your eyes as you meet his gaze.

“That’s the understatement of the year,” you breathe out before offering a meager smile of your own. “Some help would be great, thank you.”

Bucky takes the heavier bags of groceries from your aching arms and returns the orange to its rightful place, allowing you the chance to take your keys and unlock the door. You don’t spare him another glance as you walk in, leaving it open as a silent invitation for him to let himself in. Bucky swallows nervously but wordlessly follows behind; he’s never been in a woman’s apartment before, and the fact that it’s yours makes the experience all the more nerve wracking.

Your apartment is small but personalized, decorated with little knickknacks and houseplants and old family portraits that Bucky does his best not to stare at in fear of being rude, and the vanilla scented candle that burns on the coffee table makes him feel all the more welcome. You drop your purse by the couch with a tired sigh before directing your attention to the man who stands awkwardly in your living room. His hulking figure makes your apartment seem tiny, oddly comforting in a way, but you hold back your giggles and merely guide him to your kitchen.

“You can set them on the counter,” you say with a passive wave before reaching into one of the cabinets for a glass cup. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No, thank you,” the man says politely as he settles the heavy bags down on the marble surface; as much as he’d like to sit and spend the evening with you, he can’t stay long, or more like he won’t allow himself to stay long. Your movements are clumsy as you down your glass of water, and Bucky looks away flustered as little droplets begin to escape the corners of your lips and dribble down your neck. “I hope I’m not overstepping by asking this, but are you alright? You seem a bit... flustered.”

“Is it that obvious?” You joke quietly, your smile barely reaching your eyes as you fidget with the sleeves of your sweater.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky begins to say in fear of overstepping, but you merely shake your head in response.

“I’m just a little stressed out. The kids always keep me on my toes, especially now that there’s more of them, and it’s been hard trying to get some of them to readjust.”

“Kids?” He repeats with furrowed brows. He can’t recall ever seeing you with any children, and there’s no sign of any living with you in your apartment. A genuine laugh leaves your lips this time at his response and Bucky tenses uncomfortably. Did he say something wrong?

“I’m a kindergarten teacher,” you explain with a smile, and everything clicks in Bucky’s mind then. That would explain the constant paint stains and trails of glitter left in your wake, the arts and crafts supplies and stacks of drawings you seem to carry with you everywhere. And here he thought your heart couldn’t get any bigger than it already was— were you even real?

“The effects of the blip have been really difficult for them. It’s hard having to come back to school and see that all your old friends are now five grades ahead of you. I know everyone has been impacted in some way by what happened, but it’s harder for the younger ones to understand. I’m doing my best to make the transition back to normalcy easier for them, but some days are harder than others, you know?”

“Sounds rough,” is all Bucky can manage to say, swallowing his emotions back harshly.

“Yeah,” you sigh quietly, rubbing away the clear exhaustion in your eyes, “but I’m trying my best.”

“Sometimes that’s all you can do.”

You smile then, a genuine smile, one that makes Bucky weak in the knees, and suddenly it’s as if all the weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.

“I really needed to hear that,” you utter softly, “thank you.”

“What are neighbors for?” Bucky jokes lamely, but you must like his sense of humor for you let out the quietest of giggles.

“You’re sweet. I like talking with you, but I won’t keep you any longer. I’m sure you’re a busy guy.”

“Not really,” he shrugs with a crooked smile, “I just had some errands to run before tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask curiously, brows raising with interest as Bucky awkwardly looks down at your hardwood floor.

“I’ve got a date.”

“Huh, no kidding. Me too,” you smile, and in response Bucky’s heart slowly begins to sink to his stomach. Yori had said you were single, but only an idiot would believe that someone like you could stay that way for long. Maybe if he had taken the doctor’s advice sooner he could be the one you’re seeing instead of the lucky guy that beat him to it.

“I should get going... I’ll see you around.”

“Thank you again for the help, and good luck on your date,” you say with an encouraging smile. Bucky swallows harshly in response, a look of longing in his eyes that he hides well with a meager quirk of his lips.

“You too,” he murmurs in response, casting you once last glance before showing himself out. The lock clicks behind him, and Bucky trudges back to his own empty apartment.

Saturday

The dining patio of the Italian restaurant is pleasantly empty, but the quiet stillness does little to help soothe Bucky’s nerves as he waits for the arrival of his date. He probably should have asked Yori what she looked like, what her name was and what she’d be wearing so he’d know what to expect, but the old man had been adamant on keeping the identity of his date a surprise.

“It’ll be better that way,” he had said, “trust me.”

The bouquet of sunflowers sits before him on the table almost tauntingly, their bright colors and sweet scent sending his senses into overdrive. He almost resented them, but then he thought of your smiling face through the window and the tension from his shoulders began to dissipate— if you could be strong and put on a brave face despite all the bad things that had happened in the world, then so could he.

“James?” A meek voice calls quietly, pulling the man from his thoughts. His blue eyes widen in surprise at the sight of the woman standing before him and he swallows anxiously.

“Y/n?” Bucky replies, quickly rising from his seat and cringing at the way in which the legs of the chair scrape harshly across the floor with his sudden movements. Here he thought you couldn’t get any more beautiful, and here you were proving him wrong with your cute little outfit and styled hair and charming smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for my date,” you explain with a sheepish smile. Bucky deflates— not only would he have to suffer through his own painfully awkward date, but he’d also have to sit and watch you get swept off your feet by someone else all in the same night.

“Oh... well, who’s the lucky guy?”

“That’s the thing,” you say with a nervous laugh, “I think you are.”

“Me?” Bucky repeats flabbergasted. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Yori was the one who said I should try dating again. He thought it would be good for me to spend some time with other adults since I’m always with my students, and when I said I didn’t really know anyone he told me he’d take care of it for me. All he told me was to come to this restaurant Saturday at six and look for the man with sunflowers,” you summarize before gesturing to the bouquet on the table, “and you’re the only one here with sunflowers so...”

A disbelieving laugh leaves Bucky then at the realization, and he isn’t sure whether he should jump for joy or wait for the ground below to swallow him whole. Finally he had a chance to spend time with the girl who had taken over his thoughts and occupied every available space in his heart, and yet he couldn’t help but feel terrified. A date was a big step up from neighborly conversation in your apartment, and all of Bucky’s hopes of developing something more with you were riding on this one date. Yori knew exactly what he was doing by setting the two of you up, and Bucky had no choice but to be grateful for the man who had bestowed upon him the chance to finally win you over.

“If this is too awkward for you we can just skip this whole date—“

“No, it’s not awkward at all,” Bucky is quick to interject. “I mean, this whole thing is certainly a surprise but it’s a good one. It’s an honor to be your blind date.”

He flashes a charming smile that makes you weak in the knees, and he knows then that he’s back in the game— who would have guessed he’d be able to dust off his old moves with such ease? He had to if he wanted any kind of chance at winning you over.

“In that case, why don’t we get out of here? This restaurant is a little stuffy,” you note with a small chuckle, your nerves slowly beginning to dwindle.

“Alright, what do you have in mind?”

The nightlife atmosphere of the plaza square is surprisingly much more comfortable compared to the dining patio, and Bucky considers himself the luckiest man alive to be able to witness firsthand the way your eyes seem to sparkle with the light of the starry sky. A nighttime stroll is right up Bucky’s alley, and you both fall into a comfortable step as you talk about whatever topic seems to come to mind. You speak of your students, about how much their smiling little faces have helped you get through the toughest times, how there’s a stray cat who calls the dumpsters behind your apartment building a home and waits for your arrival on trash days because you always bring the feline a special treat. Alpine, you had named it, and Bucky adored that greatly.

The details are vague but you enjoy the stories he tells you of his childhood and the way his whole face seems to light up at the mere mention of his mother and sister; that look dwindles slightly when he speaks of his old best friend, but you pretend not to notice. As a younger man Bucky worked at the docks before serving time in the army, though he fails to mention where he’d been stationed, and now he works for the government. You feel almost giddy to be learning so much about the man you once believed would rather prefer solitude over your company, and as the night drags on and the conversation begins to dwindle you almost wish you could reverse the clock and do it all over again.

“Thank you,” Bucky says after a moment of silence, prompting you to halt your steps and raise a brow curiously at your counterpart.

"What for?"

“Taking a chance on a guy like me,” he smiles faintly while offering you a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. “I haven’t really done anything like this in a while, and the idea of putting myself back out there scared me shitless, but you just make things so much easier. I guess what I’m trying to say is when I’m with you everything comes naturally, and I really appreciate that.”

“Oh,” you utter softly, a sheepish smile of your own gracing your lips as you turn away to admire the scenery around you. It isn’t until now that you notice you’ve stopped before the fountain, the arches of water flowing overhead illuminated by the fluorescent lights below them. A nervous fluttering occupies your stomach and when you finally meet Bucky’s gaze you feel as if nothing else in the entire world mattress other than the two of you in this moment. “Well, if it makes you feel any better I’m kind of in the same boat, so that just means we can figure this out as we go. Together.”

“I like that,” Bucky affirms with a nod, a look that can only be described as lovestruck taking over his features. Nerves overcome you then as you clutch your bouquet of flowers to your chest, heart thrumming rapidly in your rib cage as Bucky steps closer. The glove that had once shielded his right hand from the cold is now missing as he gently cups your cheek and encompasses you with his warmth. His palm is calloused and rough but comforting all the same, and it takes everything in your power not to melt like putty in his grasp.

“Is this okay?” He murmurs quietly as if raising his voice any higher will ruin the moment.

“Yeah,” you breathe shakily, swallowing back your nerves, “it’s okay.”

Your softly uttered words of confirmation are all Bucky needs to hear before dipping down and gently brushing his lips against your own. His movements are hesitant for only a moment, and it is only once he’s sure you are comfortable and secure that he moves in for more. Your lips are soft against his own, plush and warm and so sweet, and as your eyes begin to flutter shut and the forgotten sunflowers slip out of your grasp you drape your arms securely across his shoulders at the same moment in which his left hand joins his right in cupping your face as if you were a precious jewel in need of the upmost care.

Nothing exists when you are in each other’s arms, you are safe and sound in your own little world, and as you part to take a breath Bucky realizes then that one kiss is all he needs to know that you are the one he’s been waiting for all his life.

And by god, if you aren’t more than worth the wait.

[arabellamonkey]

The proposal challenge

stevetony | steve and tony decide they want to propose to the other at the same time, only to find out about the other's plans. from then on, it's not a matter of whether they'll end up marrying... it's a matter of who'll come up with the best proposal plan

also on ao3

Friday night dates had been a tradition between the two of them for the past four years they had been together. Once the honeymoon phase —in which almost everything had been perfect and what wasn’t had been deftly overlooked— had passed, both Steve and Tony had realized, that with lives as agitated as theirs, they needed to establish a set of rules and routines if they wanted to keep their relationship safe from the chaos they were engulfed in.

That’s where the Friday night dates had come from, and so far they had worked like a charm.

After difficult weeks where they barely got to see each other, the certainty that Friday would come had been a life jacket for their relationship more than once. And well, after weeks in which they had indeed seen each other a lot, Friday dates were just another chance to do so.

Usually, their dates were filled with chatter. Be it about their chaotic weeks or about whatever they felt like talking about. It didn’t matter: those dates were always synonyms of chatter and laughter in their memories.

Except for that one, that is.

They hadn’t fought —that happened less and less as time passed— but to a stranger, it might have seemed like it.

That night, Tony had ordered food from their favorite Italian, and they were eating it slowly in their penthouse, immersed in such a deep silence the only sounds that were heard were the ones of metal against the plates.

In contrast with the outside silence though, Tony's mind was running wild with many thoughts, all of them devoted to the man in front of him.

How the hell have we ended up at this point?  he asked himself, frustrated.

Everything had started that Monday, when Tony had finally decided for certain that he wanted to ask Steve to marry him. Reaching that point hadn’t been difficult in itself; he had known for a while that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Steve, and the fact that they had talked about it once or twice didn’t hurt. He knew he wanted to ask him and he was almost certain Steve would say yes, which was a comforting thought.

No, things had gotten complicated after he had made the decision, because then that had left him with a question that was just as important: how to do it?

Tony’s first instinct had been to do something extravagant, as he was. Something memorable, something that they would look back to with a smile and happiness. But then he had thought twice about it, and well, proposing was something important, and he wanted that moment to belong to the two of them. So, doing something extravagant had been ruled out when he had realized who he had been going to propose to. He knew Steve —and he prided himself on being second on the list of people who knew him most in the world, and that was just because he knew Barnes still had some anecdotes about their childhood that Steve hadn’t allowed him to disclose— so he had known instantly that a big gesture would be appreciated, yes.

But Steve was always saying how much he loved their most simple moments, the intimacy they had achieved over time. So that’s what Tony had decided to go for: something intimate and personal. He would propose to Steve with his mother’s ring in a small, intimate dinner. He had planned to order a cake and somehow hide the ring inside it, because it wouldn’t have been his proposal without some kind of surprise involved, right?

That had sounded like the perfect plan at the time.

But then, Tuesday came and he had heard something he was sure he hadn’t been supposed to hear.

It had been Steve, sparring with Barnes in the gym and saying, between deep breaths. “I need it to be special, Bucky. The greatest thing I can picture wouldn’t measure up to Tony.”

“Man, it’s just a proposal,” Buck had snorted, crouching to avoid a punch and sending Steve to the ground with a leg move. “Just give him your Ma's ring, ask him if he wants to marry you and it’ll be a done deal.”

“No,” Steve had answered, voice so full of conviction it had surprised even Tony, who had been listening behind the almost-closed door. “It has to be perfect, and it has to be great .”

Hadn’t Tony decided that he wanted to propose to Steve the day before, hearing that conversation would have made him really happy. But at that moment? No, at that moment the only thing he had been able to feel had been indignation.

Steve wanted to propose to him with something big?

Well, he was certain he could make it bigger.

But to make sure he would succeed, he had realized he needed to know about Steve’s moves before he made them, or else he risked being proposed to without expecting it and therefore, losing the competition to make the best proposal.

That’s when he had asked Rhodey to find out for him. And sure, his friend might have told him something similar to what Barnes had told Steve that day in the gym, but he had chosen to ignore him until he had returned a few hours later.

“He plans to take you hiking, spend the whole day together and ask you to marry him on a cliff? Something related to the day he confessed to you?” Rhodey had said, frowning deeply. “There might have been an aerostatic globe involved, I think.”

Well, that hadn’t been that hard to find out. And it hadn’t taken more than a couple of hours for Tony to find something greater to plan for their proposal: he would reserve Times Square, where they had kissed for the first time on their first date, have dinner and ask Steve to marry him. Plus, he would arrange to have illumination in a building nearby spelling the question in big, blue letters.

He had already made most of the reservations by Wednesday, when Rhodey had approached him, frowning. “He has changed plans. Now he’s preparing stuff to fly you both to Paris and ask you at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Something about how you’ve always had a knack for clichès? Not that he’s wrong.”

Tony had just sighed, nodded, and started rescheduling everything.

Having to cancel all his plans had been a bummer, but still. Fly him to Paris? Times Square wouldn’t do. He needed something bigger. After giving it some thought, he had found a new plan, a greater one.

“Japan?” Rhodey had asked when he had told him. “But why ?”

“He’ll like it,” Tony had said, sure of himself. They had been to Japan twice in their relationship, both in Avengers business, but Steve had mentioned once or twice how beautiful the rural zones seemed, and how peaceful everything was. Beautiful and peaceful? In Tony’s mind, that had equaled to a perfect recipe for a proposal. Plus, it was Japan, which in his mind had obviously been better than France. He hadn’t told Rhodey why.

So when Thursday had arrived, he had been pretty happy, humming while he worked on his most recent project. He had already made all the reservations and knew that everything would be perfect. But then Rhodey had called him.

“I don’t know why I keep doing this,” had been the first thing Rhodey had muttered on the phone.

“Just spit it out, honeybear.”

Rhodey had sighed.

“I was getting out of a meeting in the Triskelion when I overheard Rogers and Barnes fucking whispering about another change of plans.”

“Another?” Tony had asked, surprised and annoyed. “What is it this time?”

“Man, this is getting crazier and crazier,” Rhodey had whispered under his breath. “He was telling Barnes about some kind of reservation in a cruiser to Greenland? Something about how you got him out of the ice physically but also emotionally? Fuck, kill me now, Tony. This is corny as fuck.”

And well, that had been something Tony hadn’t been able to deny. It was corny, but the kind of corny that had made him smile a lot, taking advantage of the fact that Rhodey hadn’t been able to see him.

After that, he had spent most of Thursday planning a plan D but coming up with nothing. Then Friday had arrived, and in the morning he had managed to come up with the ultimate plan, an infallible one. He would take Steve to a game of the Los Angeles Dodgers; he would make Steve think it was all a joke on his part, but he intended to have the players play with the Brooklyn Dodgers. He knew how much it would mean to Steve to feel somehow closer to a part of his past, and well, it wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it.

After the game finished, he would get down on one knee and propose. Because if Steve was something, it was classic.

There had been no way in hell Steve would be able to top that.

But just half an hour before their Friday dinner, Tony had gotten a text from Rhodey.

Honeybear Today 21:30 PM No idea how I got this info But. He has changed plans AGAIN wtf HOW? I don’t know, man But Barnes was telling Nat something about a fucking trip to Wakanda? Didn’t manage to get the details tho

Tony: Fuck.

So there he was now, having dinner with the love of his life and hopefully soon-to-be-fiance and trying to understand how the hell they had reached that point. Judging by Steve’s tense expression, it seemed like he wasn’t the only one that was a bit annoyed by the situation.

Usually, Tony used these Friday dates to decompress. Steve was an amazing listener, and he always had the right expressions, reactions and words to Tony’s stories about everything that had been annoying him during the week.

But how the hell was he supposed to decompress now that the person that had been annoying him lately was the only one that could calm him down?

And then, Tony had an idea.

It was brilliant, really. The more he thought about it, the more he liked it.

He wanted to marry Steve, but he didn’t want to do so because of their trips, or the surprises they gave to each other. He wanted to marry him exactly for moments like this: for all the nights they spent together, for the laughs they shared on their dates, and how Steve made Tony feel understood. For the warmth that spread across his chest every single time Steve smiled at him.

At that moment, Steve’s expression was tense. And Tony couldn’t have come up with a better way to solve it.

So, biting his lip, he fished his mother’s ring from his pocket, where he had been carrying it the whole week hoping to get inspired by it, and put it tentatively on the table. He did so while watching Steve’s expression, which went from tense, to confused to honestly surprised. His eyes opened wide in that way that always made Tony laugh, and his mouth drew in “O” in lack of any words.

“Look,” Tony said, clearing his voice. “I don’t know how we’ve reached this point, but I’m pretty tired after a crazy week at work, and planning all these crazy proposition plans has only exhausted me more. And being with you it’s usually the opposite of exhausting, so instead of trying to keep up… Whatever this is, I figured I’d just ask: will you marry me?”

He was aware that his speech lacked all the pomposity he had been intending his proposition to have, but there was something about being honest while asking the love of his life to marry him that seemed to fit the situation just perfectly.

He watched in silence as Steve blinked quickly and whispered with a hoarse voice. “Only with one  condition.”

Tony lifted an eyebrow at that, honestly confused, as he watched Steve get up and return with a big bouquet of roses. Tony lifted an eyebrow as Steve showed him the bouquet in a way that made it obvious how he had hidden a small box in the center.

“Only if you say yes too,” Steve said with a shy smile.

The way both of them laughed before saying yes sounded just like their usual Friday date, and that was what reassured Tony that he had made the right call.

***

A few hours later, while they lay in their bed, Steve was resting while hugging Tony as he sneezed for the thousandth time. “Sorry, didn’t know you were allergic to them. Guess I should have just gone for the Paris trip, huh?” Steve muttered.

Tony snorted, shaking his head, and asked with his eyes closed, “how did you find out I was planning to propose to you?”

“I saw the ring in the dressing room,” Steve confessed while drawing figures on Tony’s skin with his fingers. “You always stored it in the safe, so it was just a matter of putting two and two together. And you?”

“I heard Barnes and you talk about it while sparring,” Tony confessed. “After that, I just asked Rhodey to find out about your plans.”

After a couple of seconds, Steve confessed, “I asked Buck to do the same.”

Once again, they laughed, interlacing their fingers, now with the rings on them.

[emmies-archives]

Heads and Tails

Genre: Fluff, Angst, College AU

Warnings: Aged up, smut, drinking, blowjobs, good old fashion drunk hookup, self degrading at one point, ahhh non descriptive smut....

Wordcount: 6.8k (my bad)

Summary: You slowly become best friends with Noya. One night you get drunk with him and Tanaka and it leads to drunk confessions. You two start dating afterward, you try to surprise him one day by at practice but his old feelings for Kiyoko bring out your insecurities when you see him talking to her. 

A/N: This took wayyy to long to write, and it’s a lot longer than I expected. First piece for Haikyuu and I was drinking wine while writing most of it so please forgive typos. The ending is ehh because I just wanted to get it finished. 

Inspired by a rp with @astrid-thirsts (....... Its not as much angst as I said)

You couldn’t remember the last time you were excited for a volleyball game. They weren’t something new you went to. You had always watched Karasuno’s boys team play, ever since you were little. Fond memories filled your thoughts whenever you thought about going to the matches. For a while though, there was something missing. The excited cheers from fans started to dwindle and you found less and less seats being filled. There were no longer group hugs when the team won. Replaced with hung heads and silent tears. But you kept going. Even as the boy’s losses stacked against them so high it cast a shadow big enough to drown them. Things started to change this year.

Rumors floated around the school pretty quickly. Apparently, there were knew recruits on the team and they had pretty good potential. It piqued your interest. If there was a chance that the team could start building back the foundation it once had, you wanted to be there to see it.

You decided to take the long way back to your dorm one day. It gave you a chance to walk by the gym where volleyball practice was held. You walked for a while, a tinge of excitement pooling in your stomach at the thought of maybe getting to see the team up close. For years you had watched them from high up in the bleachers. The only constant as the members came and went.

As the gym came into view, you slowed your pace. A part of you wanted to peek through the doors. With a sudden burst of courage, you went up to the doors. The few steps seemed like forever. Reaching a hand out to push one side open, your heart jumped when it slide open right when you touched it. The first thing you saw was a pair of bright brown eyes. The boy tilted his head a bit and you noticed a towel wrapped around his neck.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?”

That was one of the first times you had actually spoken to him, you weren’t even sure if he had known your name before. You weren’t a stranger to Nishinoya. He was in a few of your classes; you had just never really talked to him all that much. You didn’t know if it was the fact he was on the volleyball team, or that you had a huge crush on him but, it even thinking of talking to him made you nervous. I wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk to him, he was just overwhelming. Constantly full of energy, lighting up whatever room he walked into. The idea of just walking up to him and striking a conversation was intimidating. So, when one day you got paired together for a project you didn’t know if you were excited or scared.

It was easy to talk to him. A lot easier than you expected. Something about him always drew you in, even if he was going on and on about the volleyball team for the fifteenth time in the hour. The playful energy that exuded from him held a welcoming arm out to you. Like it was offering everything you’d ever wanted, even if he didn’t realize it. But you took it. Grabbed its hand and ran.

Its grasp eventually led to more nights spent with him, even after the work necessary for the project was finished. It sort of became the new norm for you. After his evening practice, you would either go to his dorm or he’d come to yours. The conversations came easier, shifting from class and volleyball to shared hobbies. You learned more about him than you ever thought you would. Every time you left his dorm, your head swarmed with the memories of the night. The entire walk home felt like you were floating, and you kind of felt ridiculous for it. The way your heartbeat sped up when he was close, or how your eyes lingered on him when he wasn’t looking shouldn’t happen. Especially because you weren’t sure if you’d ever get the courage to tell him your feelings. Little did you know, Nishinoya felt the same way.

He started to rush through the end of practice just so he could see you after. Just spending time with you was the best part of his day. He didn’t realize what his feelings were, just that he was happy when he was with you. It wasn’t until he brought you up to Tanaka at practice for the fifth day in a row did he slowly start to think different about you. Tanaka didn’t help either, teasing him about if that’s the reason he left practice early. If you knew about that, Nishinoya was sure you’d chew him out.

Your love for volleyball was only one of the things that drew him in. It was the way you always found the good in something, even if it felt like the world was ending at the time. One time he came texted you about a test in one of his classes, his grade ended up being a lot lower than expected and he was a little annoyed. You just offered to help him study for the next one, wanting to make him feel better. To him it felt like the entire weight was lifted off his shoulders just with that one response. There were other things too, of course. You were incredibly beautiful, catching his eye before you even became friends.

Months went by and the two of you fell in routine. He would meet you halfway between his dorm and yours before classes, walking you to yours which barely left him any time to make it to his. You told him you were fine when he mentioned it to you on accident one morning, but each day he stood under the same lamppost waiting for you. Slowly, without meaning to, you fell in love with him. But it didn’t feel like falling. It was more like stepping into a warm embrace.

 “Yuu?” Your voice was quiet as you called his name for the second time in the past few minutes. Slightly amused you nudged him with your foot under the table, trying to get his attention. “Nishinoya?!”

“Oh, sorry!” He set his phone on the table, a goofy grin on his face when he looked up at you. “Did you need something?”

“I was helping you with your Algebra homework. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“You’re going to be pretty disappointed then, because I haven’t done a problem in at least a half hour.” You couldn’t even be mad at him; all you could do was shake your head. He promised he’d work on his homework for the next hour. He lasted maybe ten minutes before groaning and pushing the paper away from him. “This is too boring. It’s a Friday, we should go out and have some fun!”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Wanna get drunk?”

 Three hours later, after an embarrassing little bit of Nishinoya watching you get ready as he laid on your bed, you ended up in Tanaka’s dorm room. Drink in hand you sat in his desk chair as Nishinoya and him sit on the ground in front of you.

This wasn’t what you thought when he mentioned getting drunk, but it was fun, nonetheless. You preferred this. Nishinoya was a popular guy so you figured he’d bring you to one of the clubs near campus, but this felt different. Maybe even special. Just you two and his best friend. Something about it was heartwarming. Until Tanaka brought up their manager again. It had been so many times the night already that you were tired of hearing about it.

“I’m telling you, y/n. It is better when she ignores me!” Tanaka yelled emphasizing his words by throwing his arm out, causing his drink to slosh over the edge of the cup.

“Really? I would’ve thought that being ignored would hurt.” You say, trying not to glance at Nishinoya when you do. Your feelings completely opposite your words.

“No, no it doesn’t. I don’t know how to explain it. Noya! You try for me; I can’t think straight.”

“Ahh, I don’t know man.” You didn’t notice the slight discomfort lining Nishinoya’s words or the way he looked to you as he responded. Already on your fifth drink of the night, you started to feel your head swim past tipsy. You caught his glance smiling into your cup as you drank more of whatever concoction he had made you.

“How’s your drink, y/n?” Nishinoya asked standing to make himself another one.

“Really good actually!” Your voice was louder than you anticipated, making you cringe slightly. “How are you so good at making drinks?”

“I learned my secret from those old Italian grandmas on youtube. I just don’t measure anything, letting my heart decide what to put in it.” All you could do was stare at him as he demonstrated. Tossing random things into his cup, trying not to make a disgusted face at the amount of alcohol you watched him pour.

“Did you… put that much into all my other drinks?” His toothy grin was enough of an answer and you stared into your cup. You hadn’t even tasted the liquor.

 Several rounds and a few shots later, it was your turn again. You had brought up the idea to play truth or drink. It was a game you had always played with your girl friends back home, so you decided why not. The amount of alcohol in your system didn’t help either.

“So, y/n.” Tanaka started, you could already see the evil look in his eyes. “Out of everyone on the volleyball team, which one of use would you want to hook up with?”

The question should’ve startled you, it probably would’ve if you hadn’t had the boost of vodka running through your veins and the newfound courage that came with it. Your answer came with no hesitation, you even looked into his eyes as you said it.

“Noya.” Your eyes flicked from his wide eyes to the growing smile on his lips. Not at all aware to the blush that flooded his cheeks.

 “Oh, dayum. I thought for sure you’d drink to that one.” Tanaka said but you didn’t really pay attention to his words. Your eyes focused on Nishinoya, feeling like if you ripped them from him. You’d never be able to look him in the eyes again.

“You’re turn, y/n.” Nishinoya’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Not able to tear his eyes away from yours.

Caught up in the moment, you direct your question towards him. “Yu-“

Your words are cut off as Tanaka lets out a loud groan, drawing your attention to him.

“Grossss, you guys can take that shit elsewhere. I’m gonna text Kiyoko again.”

 That’s how you found yourself sitting on one of the campus’s benches, your side nearly pressed against Nishinoya.

“Y/n, you look so beautiful under the light from the lamppost.” In your drunken state, you found his normally constant flirting cute. Your cheeks burn lightly from the deep blush resting on them. The two of you sit in silence after that. Neither of your quite ready to go back to your dorms.

“You know, I never got to ask you my question.” You say as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“You’re right, I forgot.” His response was short, but you could hear the hopeful tone swimming in it. “You can ask me now if you still want to.”

“Yuu, will you kiss me?”

“I don’t think that would’ve worked as a question, y/n.” He answered.

“God, just shut up and kiss me.” You quipped back, moving to face him. He didn’t even respond. Cupping your cheek, you both leaned in, you were too impatient to wait for him. The kiss was soft and sweet, ending too soon. You wanted more.

 Ten minutes later after dragging him to your dorm you pushed the door open. Thankful you didn’t share it with anyone as you pulled him into the room. You gently pushed him to sit on the bed, sitting on his lap arms wrapped around his neck loosely.

“I wasn’t kidding. He spoke. “You really do look amazing tonight.”

You hummed in response, not trusting your voice. Staring into his warm brown eyes, the fairy lights that light up your room danced in the reflection of them.

“You’re so handsome, Yuu.” Your voice is quiet and uneven as you talk. “You always are, I know I’ve never told you that before.”

“You’re drunk, y/n.” His voice matched yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“It’s your fault, dummy.” You shook your head, laughing at the amount of alcohol he probably put into your drinks, not realizing how fast you would drink them. “I meant what I said you know.”

“Really? I thought that was just for the game, you wouldn’t prefer someone else?” You could see the hope swirling in his eyes.

“Absolutely not. I don’t like anyone else.” You answered while your hands gingerly played with the ends of his hair.

“You like me?” His eyes widened at your statement and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“You didn’t realize?” You asked and he shook his head as his answer. “I thought I made it a little obvious, but yes I do.”

Your voice was nearly a whisper as you leaned in close to him. Breath ghosting over his lips, you could feel him shiver a bit and it put a smile on your face. He didn’t have to respond with words to make you know he felt the same way. Your lips connected again, this time different than before. Rough and passionate. Like he was pouring everything he was holding in into your lips. You did the same, every pent-up emotion you felt for him, every lingering gaze you spent trying to make yourself confess, every single thing.

The kiss became rougher, teeth clashing and noses bumping as you pulled closer to him. Unknowingly grinding your hips down into him at the way his tongue slipped into your mouth. A soft whimper slipping from your lips.

“Yuu..” You breathed out when he pulled away, panting himself.

“Fuck, y/n. Your lips are so soft.” He leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss. You could taste the lingering vodka on his tongue as it danced with yours. Both of you fighting for dominance. He groaned as you pushed your fingers into his hair, tugging gently at it. He jerked his hips up and you could feel him against your core. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You’re just….”

“No, it’s okay.” You said, smiling as you slipped off his lap. Hands sliding down his torso, stopping at his waistband. The tent in his pants already obvious. You looked back up to him, waiting for him to give you some sort of confirmation you could keep going.

He grabbed your hands gently, leaning in to press another short kiss against your lips. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to. Just, let me take care of you.” Confidence flooded your voice in your drunken stupor. He could only nod at your words and you moved your hands lower, palming his hardness through his pants. Enjoying the quiet groans that fall from his lips at the sudden friction. You tug on his waistband and he shifts his hips up, helping you pull his pants down. You move up pressing your lips against his again as you slip your hand into his boxers. Feeling him hiss lightly against your lips at your hand against him.

“Ah, shit-“ You could barely hear his groans as you focused wrapping your hand around his cock, loosely stroking it.

“You’re already so hard, Yuu. Did my answer affect you that much?” He bit his lip nodding again at your words as you worked your hand. A smile tugged at your lips.

You moved down further, placing soft kisses against his abs. Feeling him shudder as you trailed down, stopping at his boxers before pulling them down all the way. His member springing free, slapping against his stomach

“You’re so pretty.” You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock lightly, admiring the way it twitched lightly in your hold before swirling your tongue around the tip as you pumped the rest of his length. Hearing his quiet groans pushed you forward, and you looked up to him, meeting his gaze and you slowly brought more of him into your mouth. Watching as his head fell back through your blurry vision.

“I should be the one saying that, y/n.” He said, his voice unsteady.

You pulled back with a pop, smirking up at him. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you.”

You wait for him to respond before dipping your head back down, taking him into your mouth again. A loud moan fell from his lips as you did, and you had to press your hands into his thighs to keep him from bucking up into your mouth. Once he stilled himself, you started wrapping your fingers around what you couldn’t fit into your mouth. Swiping your tongue over the slit that leaked precum already.

You could feel his thighs twitching under you as you worked your mouth on him. Breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat you pushed your face down until your nose brush against his pelvis. The loud moan that ripped from his throat made you hum approvingly, and you moved your hand to play with his balls. When you pulled away just enough to breathe, he moved his hand to your jaw pulling you up to him.

“Want to cum with you.” Was the only thing he said before pushing up your shirt, helping you take it off. Biting his lip to concentrate on the clasp of your bra that for some reason he just couldn’t figure out. You grabbed his hands gently stopping him before unhooking it yourself throwing it across the room. His heated gaze fell to your chest as he wasted no time in touching you. Squeezing, sucking, nipping. Every time his tongue danced around your sensitive nipples he grew more confident at the soft breathy moans you let out.

He backed up onto the bed, pulling you with him before crawling over you catching your already swollen lips in another rough kiss. You couldn’t stop the whimper the fell from your lips when he ground down into your core. It put a cocky smile on his face, something you weren’t used too.

“Noya, please.”

“What do you want me to do, baby?” His voice was low, and his words were muffled as he kissed down your neck. It was becoming too much, you wanted him. Needed him.

“Fuck me! Pleas-“

You didn’t get to finish your sentence as he pushed your legs open. Swiping the tip up and down your folds a few times before slowly pushing in. Your mouth fell open at the sudden fullness. He didn’t stop until he was bottomed out inside you. You looked up at him once started moving his hips, trying to paint the look on his face into your memory. His eyes blown out in lust as he fucked into you, the way he gritted his teeth trying to quiet the loud moans. It was the last clear image before the night completely blurred.

 The next morning you tried recalling the events that occurred, and it only came in slivers. Like an old movie with holes burnt into the film. The pieces that you could interpret left you with memories of giving yourself to Nishinoya, and him to you. Maybe it was a good thing you couldn’t remember clearly. The way your head ached would’ve only been amplified by the weight of what you did last night. You tried not to think it was a mistake, but it was hard not to. Everyone has a drunken hook up once in a while. You’ve had your share, so why would this one be so different?

It was only when Nishinoya shifted beside you were you pulled from your intruding thoughts. You felt your body tense as he slid his arm over your side and bury his face into your shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent. There was a small voice in your head hoping he was still asleep. But it was nothing compared to the way you felt your heart speed up at the simple action. You closed your eyes telling yourself it was to stop your head from hurting, but you really just wanted to stay in this moment as long as you can. The soft, quiet calm before the shit storm you felt was coming. But, he proved you wrong.

Whispering your name softly as if not to wake you. You found yourself unable to answer him. Waiting to see what would happen, what your reaction to this should be. No matter how badly you wanted to be happy that this happened, you would take whatever came. You didn’t expect him to hum softly and feel his soft lips against your bare shoulder as he gently kissed it. Tangling his legs with yours, you felt him gently rubbing your arm. You couldn’t handle it anymore. His sweetness was too much, and you needed to look at him. Shifting in his hold you turned to face him. A small smile pulled at his lips when you did.

“Morning, y/n.” His voice was a bit raspy, and you found your heart speeding up again at the sight of his tussled hair. The memory of tangling your hands in it flashing across your mind and you couldn’t help the blush. “You okay?”

“Mhm. You’re just really hot.” The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, and you groaned a little. “Fuck, ignore that. I’m still asleep.”

Nishinoya “When did we fall asleep?” Your voice was quiet, trying to ignore the way his eyes were lighting up at your touch.

laughed at your plea and shook his head, which made you reach up to push the hair that fell in his eyes.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Was it we fucked for the sec-“

“Yuu!” Your hand covered his mouth, eyes wide at the way he could casually say it. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk about it. Just that you didn’t know where to even start. There were so many things you wanted to talk or ask him about now that you were sober. You just weren’t sure if you had the courage anymore. You dropped your hand and shifted your gaze from him, a little nervous.

“Something wrong? Oh no. You regret last night. I’m so sorry, I knew I should’ve waited to make a move when we were sober. I-“ His face pulled into a panicked stare and he started rambling before you cut him off again.

“No, Yuu. I don’t regret it at all. Not one bit.” You sighed looking back to him, trying to reassure his worry. “You were… really good. I just didn’t know how to talk about it.”

“Oh thank god. I was scared I fucked up.” He relaxed a bit, slipping his hand into yours. It warmed your heart how sweet he was being. “I don’t want to ruin this… whatever this is.”

“Do you remember what I said last night?” You asked meekly, hoping he did so you wouldn’t have to repeat it.

“Which part? You said a lot, most of it sounded like my name actually now that I think.” He laughed when you shoved his arm a little, glaring at him. “I know what you said. About liking me, and I feel the same way for you.”

“Then, what is this?” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you asked, and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. The next part you forced out, not wanting to hear the answer. Fearing it would be something that would hurt. “Is this just a one time thing?”

Nishinoya stared at your for a few seconds, completely silent. It felt like forever and the nervousness that pooled in your stomach started creeping up your body. The worst responses flashed through your head.

“No, I don’t want this to be a one time thing. Or anything casual either.” His voice was steady, and serious. You could tell he meant everything he said. “Do you want to go out with me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Nishi. I want to go out with you.”

“Fuck yeah! Does this mean I can take you out on a date? I’ve been wanting to for a really long time just never thought I could.” He rambled a little and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“A date sounds perfect. If its anywhere other than our dorms, we spend too much time in them.”

“Yes!! I’ve been wanting to for so long, I just never thought you liked me back!” His arm slid around your side again and your felt the urge to bury your face into his chest. He squeezed you tighter when you did. “Can I tell Tanaka? I feel like we owe this to him!”

“Sure. But don’t mention what we did?”

“I cant promise you that.”

 You two spent most of the morning and afternoon laying in your bed. There was something about him that made you let your guard down. You could talk to him for hours about random stuff and never get bored. It was a lot nicer in his arms too. You always imagined the way it would feel to be wrapped in his arms. Even when you thought you’d never tell him how you felt. It was nice to imagine though, but it was nothing compared to now.

His usual rough wildness on the court was replaced with a softness you didn’t know his arms had. They were always covered in scratches and bruises from practice. You found yourself tracing the dark marks on his biceps, admiring the contrast against his skin. He had a story for each one. Telling it to you as your finger ran over it, and you could picture each one. You’ve seen him on the court before, he was a fury to reckon with but you didn’t realize how aware he was.

The lazy cuddling only ended when both of your stomachs growled for the third time in thirty minutes. He reached over to your nightstand for his phone, asking if you wanted him to order food in. You were thankful for that, the headache from the lingering hangover still pulsated at the back of your neck.

When the food came, you put on a movie and the two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. You knew there were things you could talk about if you really wanted to, but you found no need to. There was something about just sitting with Nishinoya that made a sort of warm feeling hold in your chest. It was relaxing, and almost familiar.

 The next two weeks flew by. Your old routine with Nishinoya quickly turning into a new one. Instead of him asking you to study as an excuse to see you, he was already at your dorm when you got back from your last class. Each time you entered your dorm and found him sitting on your bed waiting for you made your heart soar.

What you felt for him before anything happened only amplified now. Lingering gazes turned into lustful ones, soft brushes became loving embraces. It was amazing. Everything you had dreamed of and more. It wasn’t until you came by one of his practices early to surprise him did the doubt slip into your thoughts.

You pushed open the gym door entering quietly, not wanting to interrupt anything. Your eyes scanned the gym looking for him and once you did, your excitement dropped a little. Him and Tanaka were standing next to their manager, the one Tanaka always went on and on about. It looked completely innocent, they were just talking. But you didn’t miss the way Nishinoya laughed or the bright look on his face as she said something.

You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you didn’t even have to. He looked so excited, the way his face was flushed as he swayed on his feet. It was a simple action, they were only talking so why did it have to feel like this?

He had told you about his crush on her before, but explained it was long gone. That it had been nothing but a simple unrequited crush. But it stung seeing him so happy talking to her. Confliction twisted in your stomach. You didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend to get jealous over other girls, but this somehow felt different.

You went up to the first person next to you and quietly asked them to give the bento box in your hands to Nishinoya. It was their captain. You were a little familiar with him from watching all of their games, you just never talked to him before.

“Don’t tell him I came in. Just if you could say I dropped it off?” Your voice was unsteady and you could feel your hands shaking a little.

“Sure thing. Are you, y/n?” You could only nod as your eyes flicked back to Nishinoya still standing by their manager. “So you’re Noya’s girlfriend! I was wondering when we were going to meet you. I was beginning to think you didn’t exist, but he talks about you so much.”

“Yeah, I am. I didn’t realize he talked about me that much. I’m surprised you’re not sick of it.” You laughed nervously a little, trying not to look at them.

“No, he means no harm. He obviously really cares about you, I’m glad he has someone like you. From what I’ve heard, you seem like an amazing person.”

That hurt. You don’t know why it did, but it pulled at your chest heavily. You tried so badly to fight against the way seeing him over there picked at your brain but it didn’t work. Tanaka’s signature laugh echoed in the gym and your eyes moved to them again. Their manager was gone now, but you saw the way Nishinoya looked after her.

You could feel tears start welling in your eyes and you quickly excused yourself. Moving back toward the doors hoping to whatever gods were out there that Nishinoya didn’t see you leave. But, he did. Just as you slipped out of the door he saw you. You caught his gaze when you looked back one last time and it almost felt like the wind was knocked out of your chest.

Fighting everything inside you screaming to turn around and go to him, you ran the other way. You didn’t know what to even say if you were to go up to him.

“Y/n! Wait up!” Nishinoya yelled behind you and you gritted your teeth. Of course, he’d follow you, that’s just who he was. You slowed your pace knowing he’d catch up any moment. Facing away from him you felt his arms slip around your waist as he hugged you from behind. “Hey, sweetheart. I wasn’t expecting you here.”

You couldn’t say anything. It was like your voice was stuck in your throat even though you desperately wanted to speak. Eyes fixed on something in the distance you tried to wipe the upset expression from your face. Wanting nothing more than to turn and bury your face into him, you felt the frustration building in you.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

The concern in his voice hurt. More than anything else so far. You were being stupid, there was no reason to worry. You knew that so why did you feel so shitty? When you didn’t respond he moved around to face you. The panic was evident on his face when he saw how upset you were.

“Baby, what happened?” His voice was soft, welcoming. You flicked your gaze to his eyes and felt a pang of guilt in your when you saw the worry flooding them. You couldn’t help but look away again.

“Nothing. I just forgot something.” Your voice was quiet, much quieter than you thought it’d be. It wasn’t very convincing, and you knew it.

“You don’t have to lie to me. Did something happen today? Is that why you came to practice?” You had to clench your jaw at his caring words. His hands cupped your face gently and you felt your lip quiver at the touch. Without meaning to, you leaned into his touch. Closing your eyes which made a tear slip from your welling eyes. “Baby, talk to me.”

You shook your head trying to shake his worry. “It’s stupid.”

You knew that wouldn’t work, but you tried. The feeling in your chest, frustration over yourself and the lingering hurt from seeing him in there became too much and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Pushing his hands from your face and burying yourself into his arms. The warmth of them didn’t do much to soothe you this time. It almost had the opposite effect. When he hugged you tightly a sob was ripped from your throat.

Crying was something you never wanted to do in front of him. You knew it would just make him worry, and yet here you were wrapped in his arms as your tears stained his shirt. Guilt tore at you again at that thought. He was supposed to be at practice. This was completely your fault. You shouldn’t have even come here to begin with.

Maybe this was meant to happen. The universes way of showing you that you weren’t meant to be together. You could go back to your old ways, watching silently from the stands while she was down there with him. That thought tore through you hard.

Kiyoko was mesmerizing, there was a softness in everything she did. She was so much better than you in every way. What were you even compared to her? You kept replaying the way he looked at her in your head. He looked so happy. Did he ever look that happy with you? You began questioning everything your thought you had known about your relationship.

“Y/n!” Nishinoya’s voice ripped through your intrusive thoughts and you couldn’t help but gasp. You hadn’t even noticed when you knelt on the ground, completely focused inside your own head.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Yuu. Go back to practice. I know I’m being annoying. I-I’ll go to my dorm, its okay.”

“What? No way, I’m not letting you leave.” He shook his head brows furrowing at your statements and apologies. “Let me help you…”

The way his eyes softened as you looked into them made a fresh wave of tears slip down your face. You found yourself spilling everything you were holding in with them. All your worries and fears, the reason you were crying. The way you felt you weren’t good enough for him.

“I saw you and your manager; I can’t help but think I’m not enough for you.” He didn’t say anything to interrupt your tear-filled rambling. “ You’re so amazing, and kind. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and I just…. Maybe you should be with Kiyoko. She’s so much better than me-“

“Stop.” He suddenly spoke out, “Stop it right now. You don’t get to say that about yourself.”

“But I-“

“No! I can’t believe you would even think like that.” His voice was raised a little causing you to snap your attention to his face. He looked so angry. The concern from before gone from his features. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just, I don’t think I make you as happy as you should be.”

“Stop apologizing, y/n. This is not your fault its mine.” That made you a little confused despite how upset you still were. This wasn’t his fault; he didn’t do anything.

“It’s not your faul-“

“It is though! I know I’m not that good at showing how I feel. That’s why I waited so long to do anything.” He shook his head as he talked, and you couldn’t pick apart the look in his eyes. “Should I have not asked you out? Would this have been better as a one-time thing?”

“What? No, Yuu. Don’t say that.” You felt your voice shake when you responded, it was so quiet you weren’t even sure if he heard you.

“I knew I’d hurt you. Do something to fuck this up. I couldn’t even keep this one perfect thing, could I? God I’m so stupid! This would’ve been so much easier if I wasn’t in love with you. Maybe we shouldn’t even have started dating, I’ve only been an ass to you.” His voice got louder as he berated himself. You knew he had a bit of a temper, but you never thought it would be toward himself.

“Yuu, stop.” He didn’t hear you as he continued beating himself up, “Yuu!”

You shoved his chest lightly to get his attention, panic coursing through your body. His eyes flashed to yours and the tears that spilled from them matched your stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry.. Fuck, I’m so sorry!” He scrambles toward you, diving into your embrace. You’ve never seen him angry like that and it scared you. He could tell, the look on your face when you pushed him made his heart drop. He pulled you to him again, this time he was crying. You felt the tears against your neck as he shoved his face into your shoulder. “Baby, I didn’t mean any of that. I promise. Please, please forget it. I’m not leaving you. Just don’t- don’t leave me.”

Hearing his desperate cries into you made your heart break, forgetting everything that happened before. You sat and held him like he did to you. Giving him a place to let all his fears out in the safety of your embrace.

“It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” You voice was basically a whisper as you ran your fingers down his hair, trying not to let the tears spill from your eyes again at they sadness in his voice and the way he clutched onto the back of your shirt.

“I’ve never loved someone before. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He spoke after a moment, he felt more relaxed in your arms and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Until you registered what he said for the second time.

“You love me?”

“Fuck. Did I say that?” He pulled away to look at you, eyes wide. All you could do was nod at his question, still processing it. “Shit, y/n. I, uh, ignore that.”

You shook your head rapidly, opening your mouth to say something. Anything. When nothing came out you leaned forward pressing your lips to his. His eyes flew open for a second but then he melted into your lips as his hands moved to bury themselves in your hair.

“I love you too.” You whispered into his lips, but he didn’t hear you. Too focused on your lips against his. You pulled back breaking the kiss to say it again, if you didn’t say it now you knew you’d regret it. He needed to hear how much he meant to you. “Yuu, I’m in love with you. I think I was before anything happened.”

“Really?”

“Let me finish!” You couldn’t help but laugh a little at his eager tone. “You’re so good to me, more than I think I deserve. Hearing you beat yourself up like that. I just…. Don’t ever, ever think I regret being with you for one second. The things you said…… Yuu, they’re not true. You need to know how much you deserve.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said. He knew he had a temper, and it usually was directed toward himself. Starting off as a simple thought and snowballing into full on degrading himself. You tilted his chin up making him look at you again, wanting to make him feel better. Pressing your lips to his again, this time less sweet. Deepening it by tugging on his shirt.

“If you don’t believe me… Let me show you just how much I love you, Nishi.” It took one look into your dark gaze for him to understand what you meant. His face flushed and you almost giggle at the sight. “I was heading back to my dorm, why don’t you come with me?”

“But, Daichi….” Nishinoya glanced back at the gym quickly before looking back to you.

“It’s okay, I can wait. Alone. In my dorm. Who knows what I’d do while you’re at practice…..”

“No fucking way, I’m coming with you” That was the first practice he missed on purpose.

[mcheang]

Lila hires some girl to pas herself as civilian!Ladybug but she's exposed when the other heroes (Alya, Nino, Kim, Max, Alix) realize that this girl doesn't know that they are heroes too.

Wrong answer

This isn’t my ideal kind of story prompt but ok. Any ideas how to improve the ending?

Back at Greece, Phoebe was a black-belt karate student and aspiring gymnast. Unfortunately she had a temper and developed a reputation for bullying. (She wasn’t the bullying sort but she did not like people in general and valued solitude)

Phoebe knew Lila was a liar, but didn’t care enough to expose her. Likewise, Lila wisely decided to leave Phoebe alone.

Then Phoebe lost her temper when some students thought to provoke her on a dare. Their broken limbs would have seen her expelled had Lila not intervened on her behalf to frame the victims instead. (Lila wanted them gone too)

Phoebe thanked Lila and said she owed her. Then went back to ignoring everyone.

Phoebe never thought Lila would actually call on her favor after the latter moved to Paris.

It was just Phoebe’s bad luck that her mother wanted to vacation there and Lila had somehow heard about it.

Lila messaged Phoebe, reminding her of the favor she owed. Fine. Whatever can get Phoebe back to her peaceful solitude the fastest.

Apparently Lila wanted Phoebe to pretend to be this hero Ladybug. Phoebe heard about her. While their eyes were both crystal blue, Phoebe’s hair was a lot darker, not that the miraculous doesn’t change hairstyles.

All Phoebe had to do was act responsible and go through her usual acrobatics routine. Then when Lila came in with her classmates, pretend like they were best friends.

Whatever.

Phoebe was in the zone when she heard the door opening. She would have ignored it but for Lila’s grating voice.

“Phoebe! I just wanted to introduce my friends to you.”

Forcing a smile that looked more like a grimace (Lila paused to reflect that she should have checked whether Phoebe could act) and said cheerily, “hi, Lila. Hello, Lila’s friends.”

The Parisians looked at her aerial split, eyes wide with wonder. “Hi.”

Lila: anyway, these are Alya, Nino, Kim, Max and Alix.

Alya: it’s so great to finally see you.

Kim: I knew you were an athlete the moment I saw you swing around with your yo-yo

Phoebe shrugged: I just train hard

Alya: I know you said you’re not dating but the cameras are off. What do you really think about Chat Noir

Phoebe gave a so-so gesture. “He’s not really my type. I would consider Monkey Boy for his agility or even Pegasus for his style.”

Kim: you mean, Monkey King.

Phoebe: he’s still a boy behind the mask

For some reason, Max and Kim were blushing

Alix: enough romance talk. Why didn’t you ever give Lila the fox miraculous

Phoebe: because she was traumatised by Volpina so she decided to pass the power to Foxy

Phoebe doesn’t know the names of the other heroes. Just their animal costumes and nicknamed them on her own.

Alya: Rena Rouge

Phoebe: yeah her.

Ladybug’s nonchalance bothered the heroes. Lila glared at her. Responsible!

Alya: would your ever consider letting the temporary heroes keep their miraculous?

Phoebe: never going to happen. I can’t trust them with that kind of responsibility.

Ouch.

Alix frowned. She still held her watch. Something doesn’t add up. “Hey, what was the name of the bunny heroine again?”

Lila piped up before Phoebe could give the wrong answer. “Bunnyx.”

Phoebe thought the word was accented by French so she just nodded and said, “What Lila said. Is Bunny your favorite heroine?”

The honest curiosity there confirmed it.

Alix narrowed her eyes, “you’re not really Ladybug, are you.”

Phoebe shrugged: you can only believe or not

She wasn’t this invested in the lie. Lila wanted to claw her eyes out.

Just then, Phoebe’s father came in to tell her that they were going to the Eiffel Tower for dinner so say goodbye to her friends.

Phoebe nodded and gathered up her gym bag. “Bye Lila. Bye Lila’s friends.”

Her sheer aloofness did not help Lila’s claim that she was Ladybug.

As one, her classmates turned their accusing glares on her.

Lila: she’s having a bad day

Alix: could have fooled me. Did fool me actually.

Max was going through the tales Lila had spun and buried his face in his hands. “How could I have fallen for that napkin story?”

Nino: there’s no way you’re Ladybug’s best friend

Lila: I am. You just saw her.

Alya: come on guys, dinner at my place.

Kim: that’s it? We’re just going to ignore Lila?

Alya: we’ll get akumatized and she’s not worth it.

Phoebe’s phone was bombarded with angry texts from Lila blaming her and threatening to go back on her lie at Greece.

Phoebe didn’t care. It was old news by now and their principal was getting short-term memory. Thanks to Lila, all records of that incident had been erased to move on. He won’t even realize what Lila is talking about and will instead ask if they ever had an Italian exchange student.

When school resumed the next day, everyone knew the absent Lila was a liar. Not willing to shrug off class duties, Marinette and Alya would double check to make sure Lila had a good reason for skipping.

But apparently she had a super contagious flu and could not leave her house.

Alya called Mrs Rossi to ask for her new address because surely she can’t be allowed to go to work if she is constantly near her sick daughter.

Mrs Rossi was baffled. Her daughter said she just had a common cold.

Anyway, she promised that Lila would go to school before the week was over. The doctor only gave her two days off school.

When Lila was driven to school by her mother, nobody bothered to glare at her, though some whispered in scandalised tones.

Lila was ignored by her class though Chloé had decided to make her revenge personal for that utterly ridiculous dance.

No one bothered to defend Lila from Chloé.

Marinette knew Lila couldn’t be trusted. Adrien felt that Chloé was justified in her humiliation.

So became Lila’s life in Paris. A lonely existence where the only person who paid her attention was a vengeful heiress who loved to humiliate her.

[baubabble]

“Subtle Differences” Part II - Hotch x F!Reader

PART I  FINAL PART

Summary:  As you continue working the case in Seattle, you begin to notice more and more that Hotch is staying close to you. With the occasional glance, you start to think that maybe his feelings are real, but doubts start to creep up. When another woman goes missing, you and the team must connect the dots faster to save her and find the unsub before it’s too late. 

Word Count: 3743

Warning: Typical CM Violence

Song I Wrote To: “Honest Man” by Ben Platt

Note: Ooh, part 2! This one is the “filler” i guess. Part three is when we get the team in action and a little more hotch x reader moments that I love. That should be up later this week! Also, I have watched this show A LOT, but presenting profiles isnt easy so i did my best. Also, the painting i reference is not real.

-------

The two of you worked in silence for a while as you tried to wrap your heads around the beginnings of a workable profile. 

As you both sat alone in the conference room, you could occasionally feel Hotch glancing over at you, but you were determined to keep your focus on the task at hand. This wasn’t like him to keep somewhat distracted while at work. Then again, he was never one to really show any kind of interest outside of work either. Something had changed, but you weren’t what it was yet. 

Half an hour later and Spencer and Rossi arrived. “Well, doesn’t this look cozy,” Rossi said as he pushed into the conference room, the doctor following right after.

You didn’t bother in acknowledging his snide comment as you continued to focus on the photos spread out before you on the board. Perotta had brought the maps Hotch had requested and Spencer immediately grabbed his red marker and began his geographical profile.

“All three victims were taken outside of very public places,” Spencer said, gaining the attention of the team. “Mason from outside a church she visited weekly, Rayna from a parking lot across from a major shopping center, and Lisa from outside the public library. Whoever the unsub is, he’s not afraid to take risks in the abduction.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” you asked, glancing around at your colleagues. 

“It can be either,” said Reid, tucking his hands into his pockets. “However, considering that no witnesses have come forward, he must be using a rather convincing ruse.” 

“Or he’s threatening them with a weapon,” Hotch added. Spencer nodded in agreement.

“Something else isn’t sitting well with me,” you revealed. “This method of killing...it seems like you would need to practice it before, right? Maybe not the wax on the body, but at least using it as a method of asphyxiation.”

“You think he’s done it before?” Rossi inquired. 

“It’s a possibility,” you said. Hotch nodded and hit the call button on the phone. 

“Speak and be heard!” Garcia said.

“Garcia, I need to know if there have been any other murders in the past that resemble the unsub’s method,” Hotch said. 

“As in just the wax in the throat or the whole enchilada?” she asked, causing Rossi to smile. 

“I think we would have noticed the rest of the ritual, so focus on just the method of killing,” you added. 

“I will dig and dig until I can dig no longer. Hit you back!” Garcia said as she hung up. 

As everyone got back to work, you got up to get yourself some much-needed caffeine. As you waited for it to brew, you tapped the pen in your hand against the countertop, trying to organize your thoughts. There had to be more to the killings instead of just replicating a piece of art. The woman in the painting had no discernible features so he wasn’t trying to get her exactly right. There had to be another reason for picking three different women from three different places. The mystery was gnawing at the back of your brain. 

“You look like you’re overthinking.” You turned to see Perotta leaning in the doorway of the break room.

“Just thinking, actually,” you said, grabbing a cup and pouring your coffee. “There are just a lot of things that are bothering me about this one.”

“Don’t all of them bother you?” he asked with a slight chuckle. You shrugged. 

“Unfortunately, you get used to it,” you said, moving past him. Perotta kept close to you.

“Have you always been in the BAU, Agent (Y/L/N)?” he asked, halting you in your step with a hand on your arm. You took a step back, letting his arm slide off of yours. 

“No, I used to be a part of an anti-terrorism task force for a while before I transferred,” you explained. Perotta nodded thoughtfully. 

“Wanted to get less action?” he asked, with a half-smile. 

“More, actually,” Hotch said as he interrupted the two of you. Perotta turned to your boss and you saw him swallow thickly as Aaron Hotchner stared him down.

“Huh, who would’ve thought,” Perotta said, glancing back at you, but you kept your arms close to you and didn’t bother smiling back. 

“The others are back,” Hotch said, pulling your attention. You nodded and turned away from Perotta. Hotch followed you back to the crowded conference room. He walked behind you, keeping a hand on the small of your back. 

“Thank you,” you whispered to him, acknowledging his perfect timing. 

“You’re welcome,” he murmured to you as he held open the door and waited for you to walk through before following afterward, letting his hand fall away. As you joined the rest of the team, you instantly knew something was up. Based on JJ’s concerned face, it wasn’t good. 

“What happened?” you asked, taking your seat between Morgan and Hotch. 

“The unsub has taken another woman,” Spencer revealed.

“Already?” you asked, surprised. “Lisa wasn’t even missing two days. The others were taken a week apart.” 

“He’s increasing his abduction time,” Rossi said, flicking through the file.

“Most likely because he thinks he’s running out of time to perfect his replication of the original painting,” Reid said, twirling a pen around in his slender hands. “Though, I am still not sure what connects all the victims together.”

“I may have an answer for you, Doctor,” Garcia’s voice lit up the room from the phone in the center of the round table. 

“What did you find out, Mama?” Derek asked. 

“Well, honey, I have unearthed something rather interesting. All three of the victims were what you would call art connoisseurs. They all belonged to the same club that focused on fundraising for the arts and preserving historical pieces.”

“Garcia, is the membership for this club exclusive?” Spencer asked. 

“Not at all. In fact, the list of members and donators are both available on the club’s website.”

“Considering he didn’t abduct them from their homes, he has to be getting their routines elsewhere,” you said. 

“Do we have any information on the newest victim?” Prentiss asked. 

“Her name is Allison Wilson, she’s twenty-four-years old from Port Angeles, and she was taken outside of her gym,” said Garcia. 

“Another public place,” Rossi realized. “In the middle of the day too while cops are out in higher numbers. And we thought he was being bold before.” 

“Was Allison a part of this art club, too?” Hotch asked. 

“Yes,” Garcia confirmed. “A newer member from the looks of it as she just moved to the area.” 

“Okay, well if they’re not getting their addresses from the site, then the unsub knows when and where they’ll be,” Prentiss said with a sigh. “Garcia do we have any idea how he’s getting their information?” 

“Not yet, but I am working on it,” Penelope said. “I will hit you back once I figure it out,” Garcia said in goodbye and there was a collective sigh within the group. 

“Okay,” Hotch said, “I think we have enough to deliver the profile.” 

------

Once Perotta had wrangled his officers, your team presented the profile. 

“We’re looking for a white male in his early thirties,” Hotch began, pulling the whole room’s attention.

“We believe he has created a scenario in his mind based on a single work of art in which he sees himself as a sort of reaper type character,” Emily added.

“He is posing his victims in the same way as the woman depicted in the Italian painting. “Manto di cera” or “Shroud of Wax”,” Spence continued. 

“The painting is set to be on full display at the Seattle Art Museum later this week,” you said, stepping forward. “We believe that the final victim he abducted, Allison Wilson, is going to be his final piece of art.”

“So, what was the point of the other three women?” An officer asked. 

“Mason, Rayna, and Lisa can be considered his trial runs. All of it in order to perfect his masterpiece,” Rossi said.

“He is an unhinged individual and will not hesitate to do whatever it takes to make sure he gets what he wants,” Derek said. “You should consider him armed, dangerous, and not afraid to die by suicide or suicide by cop.” 

“This unsub thinks of these women as less than human so there is a good chance that he has a negative history with one,” JJ added, “maybe a girlfriend or even his mother.”

“Whoever this man is, he is connected to the art community here in Seattle,” Hotch said, finishing up. “We’ve set up a tip line, but we are going to have to rely on his previous victims to locate him and Allison Wilson. Thank you.” Perotta then dispersed his officers and everyone got to work on trying to track down the unsub.

“(Y/N) was right, this guy has to have priors,” Morgan said once you and the rest of the team returned to the conference room. “There is no way that he just woke up one day and decided to kill. Not like this.” 

“We should look for any non-lethal incidents,” Reid said, “he may have tried to strangle someone first.” 

“I’ll get Garcia on it,” Hotch said as he hit the call button. 

“Ready when you are,” Garcia answered. 

“Garcia, I need you to look for any past police reports where female victims were strangled or suffocated. Not just crimes that seem similar to the wax," Hotch said, reading through the file again. 

You watched as his brows pulled together and all you wanted to do was to reach out and smooth down the crease that had formed. You knew stress was all a part of the job, especially when it came to Aaron. He never got a break and when cases arose like this one where there were more questions than answers, it took its toll.

At that moment, you wished for a Hail Mary. You wanted to save Allison, of course, but a simple answer or even just a bit of good news would lessen the weight on Aaron's shoulders.

As if feeling your eyes on him, Hotch looked up. Your (Y/E/C) eyes met his dark ones and for a moment, it felt like you were the only two people in the room. His eyes glanced down your face for a fraction of a second before he looked away. You didn't even realize Penelope was speaking again.

"Okay, I've been running searches for both kinds of crimes that correlate with the profile, but so far, I got zilch," Garcia said.

"Great," JJ groaned, "another dead end."

“However, fear not, my friends, as I do have something else," added Garcia.

“You figured out where the wax came from?” Reid asked. You looked at him, unaware he had even asked her to look into that in the first place. You also realized that it was something you should have thought of yourself. Your frown didn’t go unnoticed by Morgan who lightly kicked your foot under the table. You nodded to him, assuring him you were alright. 

“Not exactly,” Garcia said. “The wax itself is pretty generic. You can get it from multiple different suppliers, but the pigment used in it to make that blood-red color is not sold by the companies. It is an oxidized clay that is regulated and sold from a local artist and I have just sent his name and address to you...now!”

“Morgan, Prentiss,” Hotch addressed, “go pick up the owner and bring him back. JJ, Dave, get in touch with Allison Wilson’s family. Reid, (Y/L/N), keep working on trying to figure out how the unsub is finding his victims from the club.”

“What are you going to do?” Spencer asked. 

“I’m going to call and get a warrant for the owners of the charity club,” Hotch said as he stood and exited the room, followed closely by the others.

You and Spencer sat in silence for a few minutes before he swiveled his chair in your direction. "Is there something going on with you?" Reid asked, peering at you over the knee he had propped up on his chair.

“What do you mean?” you asked, furrowing your brow. 

“I don’t know, something just seems...different about you,” said Reid as he stared at you with that signature confused look of his. 

“Don’t profile me, Spencer,” you said, leaning back in your chair. 

“I’m not!” he said, “but I am your friend and I can tell there is something up.” You turned back towards, sighing. Spencer never missed anything. 

“Hotch is keeping me under evaluation this case,” you said and he immediately understood. 

“I know,” said Reid, “I had to do the same after getting shot. Emily had to do it too.” 

“I feel like every move I make… I feel as if I am under a microscope.” 

“It’s procedure, (Y/N). Look on the bright side, at least Strauss isn’t doing the evaluation,” Spencer said, trying to lighten the mood. That got you to smile and Reid brightened. “See, I knew I could make you do that,” he said, twirling his finger in front of your face. You playfully swatted his hand away. 

“Thanks, Reid.”

“Anytime,” he said with a wink and got up to go stare at the board once again. 

Looking out at the precinct through the glass walls, you could see Hotch in the Captain’s office. He paced while speaking on the phone. Spencer’s words resonated in your mind as you watched your boss. At first, you thought that maybe he had chosen to take on the responsibility of your evaluation to be closer to you, but now you weren’t so sure. What if it was just procedure after all and you were only reading into it? It wouldn’t be the first time that you read signals wrong. For being a profiler, when it came to your own love life, you could be pretty clueless. 

Eventually, Hotch rejoined you and Reid. “Did you get the warrant?” Reid asked, looking over his shoulder as Hotch took a seat. 

“Judge wouldn’t approve it,” Hotch sighed, “said because the website is public domain, anyone could have access and that it wasn’t enough probable cause to warrant a search and seizure.” 

“Great,” you said, “so now we just have to hope the clay guy gives us something.” 

“Do you think he’s a part of this?” Spencer asked. You shook your head. 

“No, but he has to know something. Considering how much wax has been used, and not to mention Rossi believes the unsub had trial runs… He must have bought more pigment than the shop’s usual customers.” 

“But why would he even leave a paper trail for something as easy as a red dye? You can practically make it out of anything?” Reid asked. 

“Because not everyone is as smart as you, Reid,” you said and he smiled shyly, turning back to the board to start laying out the hunting grounds. You looked at Hotch and he was smiling at you, thankful for you praising the doctor. You quirked a brow in question but he just shook his head, returning to his work. You turned away before the blush that welled in your cheeks became more apparent. 

“You guys need anything?” Perotta said as he pushed open the door and leaned in, 

“We’re fine for now,��� Hotch said, his tone filled with dismissal. Perotta pursed his lips, but nodded and left, letting the door swing shut behind him. 

“I don’t like him,” Spencer said quietly, his back still turned to you and Hotch.

“I second that,” you muttered. 

“You are both correct,” finished Hotch and Spencer slightly turned to look at you with amusement in your eyes. You couldn’t help the laugh that flew from your throat. Spencer chuckled quietly next to you as you tried to get yourself under control. Hotch watched you, completely enamored by the way your face lit up with a smile as you found him humorous. It was better than any drug he could think of, seeing that smile of yours. 

------

It was a little less than an hour later that the others came back with the shop owner.

The man, Terry Owens, looked nervous as Morgan took him into the interrogation room. His demeanor alone as he walked into the station was enough for you to know immediately that this was not your unsub.

As JJ continued speaking with the Wilson family, you went to observe the interrogation. Spencer and Emily were going over new evidence while you stood next to Hotch on the other side of the two-way mirror. Morgan and Rossi entered the room, taking a seat across from Owens. 

You watched closely as they asked their questions. You could tell that both Morgan and Rossi made the man nervous. He would flinch slightly any time Morgan raised his voice or Rossi shifted in his seat. You and Hotch didn’t say anything as you observed, but the closeness to him was tugging at your mind as you tried to stay focused.

You weren’t focusing on what your team members were asking the man, but rather how he responded to each question. Owens was sweating even though they chilled the room for him. He began slurring his words as he struggled to find answers for each inquiry thrown at him. When Rossi presented Owens with the crime scene photos, the shop owner nearly turned green. Pushing up his sleeves, he took slow breaths, trying to calm down. That is when you noticed the burn marks on his skin. 

They were slight and faded, but from your time with anti-terrorism, you knew the signs of torture immediately. You turned to your boss. “Hotch, I think I know what’s going on,” you said.

“You saw something?” he asked softly. 

“I think he’s been tortured by the unsub,” you explained. Hotch turned his attention back to the interrogation room for a moment before nodding at you. Sweeping past him, you entered the room. Morgan and Rossi looked at you and then got up and stood back, giving you room to work. “Hi, Terry,” you greeted with a warm smile. “I’m SSA (Y/L/N) and I think I know what happened to you.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked nervously. 

“The marks on your arms,” you said, gesturing to the exposed skin. He looked down and his eyes closed as his jaw went rigid. “Terry, look at me.” He did. “Those burns are from hot wax, right?” Owens nodded. “He hurt you to get you to not talk to anyone. He poured the wax on you to make sure you knew that if you talked, you would end up like the women he was killing.”

“I didn’t know he was going to kill them,” Owens said. “Please, I just thought he was into something weird, you know? Like a fetish or some kind of performance art. I’ve seen things like that before. I never imagined…” he trailed off, his hands shaking. You reached out and placed your hands over his. 

“You’re okay,” you promised him. “Terry, nobody is going to hurt you again. He is not going to be able to get to you anymore, but I need his name. He has another woman with him now. Her name is Allison and she’s only twenty-four-years old. She has a little sister named Cailey and a mom and dad who are worried sick about her. If we don’t find her, she’s going to end up like these women too.” You placed the other three photos before him again. “They didn’t deserve to die like this and neither does Allison Wilson.” 

Owens met your eyes, nearly pleading. “I don’t know his name,” he said. “He always paid in cash and he threatened me anytime I asked any personal questions.” 

“Is there anything you can tell me about him? The smallest thing can make a difference.” Owens thought for a moment before he straightened up. 

“I once heard him on the phone,” he said. “I was preparing his new order and someone called him. He was talking to them on speaker and they didn’t say a name, but they called him by a nickname.” 

“What was it?” you asked. 

“Galahad,” Owens said. 

“Like the Knights of the Roundtable?” you asked, turning over your shoulder to look at Morgan and Rossi, confused. Morgan, however, was shaking his head. 

“That’s what Lisa Bracken’s neighbor called the delivery guy that delivered Lisa’s artwork,” Morgan said before he and Rossi were moving out the door. You turned back to Owens. 

“You did great, Terry,” you said. “We’re gonna get him.” You didn’t wait for his response as you followed Morgan and Rossi back into the conference room. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Morgan was already saying as you pushed through the door. 

“Got something for me?” Garcia asked on the other line. 

“The unsub is a delivery guy that delivers specialty art pieces. He works for Ground Express,” Morgan said. 

“Okay that is a pretty big company, honey, you’re gonna have to give me a little bit more than that,” Penelope said. 

“Garcia, look for drivers that are specifically assigned to the dumping zones. He may be dumping their bodies during a route,” Spencer said. 

“Okay, one second…” she said as her hands flew over her keyboard. “Okay, I have four men that work that specific route. Two of them are way too young, the third is African American…” she paused for a second. “And the fourth fits our profile perfectly.”

“Garcia, I need a name,” you said. 

“Alan Rhett,” Garcia announced. “He owned an apartment downtown but was evicted two months ago and now he rents a loft space in Belltown. Oh,” she said. 

“What is it?” asked Rossi.

“He uses his own truck for deliveries and he hasn’t been to work in a few days.” 

“Garcia, send us the address,” Hotch ordered. 

“Already did,” she said. “Be safe, my friends, and go get him.” 

“Will do, Mama,” Morgan said as he ended the call. 

“Gear up,” Hotch said, “We’ll leave in five.” The team dispersed immediately. As you headed for the lockers to grab your vest, a phantom pain echoed through your injury site, but you took a deep breath and tried to center yourself. You were ready for the field, you had to be. Shutting out the echos of gunfire in your mind, you secured your sidearm and went to gear up. You weren’t going to let him kill another woman, not if you could help it.

[srbachchan]

DAY 4493

Jalsa, Mumbai                  June 24/25,  2020                   Wed/Thu  11:07 AM

Birthday - EF - Donna Lisch ..  Ef Akhilesh Goswami .. Thursday, June 25 .. love and the wishes of all on this auspicious day .. be safe on this day your special day .. your birthday .. from the Ef ..

Sometimes routine takes a break inadvertently .. sometimes a regularity become irregular .. sometimes craggy ragged serrated conditions plague the mind and take diverse course .. 

But every time the effort to not break tradition prevails .. tradition is pure .. it has the health of centuries .. and if is has lasted that long it must have values that were so strong and pure and committed that it retained itself in its purest !

I may have cragged last night but ‘tradition’ has not failed .. ‘tradition’ , dear me .. thats extremely irreverent of me to equate this Blog with ‘tradition’ .. it is not .. but for me it is no routine , it is affection and love and endeared condition and connect and care and most importantly the belief that there are a few that wait for the moment of the write to appear ..

And that is of continuous concern for me ..

The World and its life continues .. the subjects of interest prevail among all .. today one tomorrow another .. perhaps many in a single day .. but life moves .. conditions bring road blocks to thinkings but the road never ends .. it just marches on .. time passes and with it all of concern and topic passes with it too .. tomorrow shall shall bring fresh concerns and solutions .. 

Its all in the game .. this game of life .. 

So play it .. play it well .. give it the best effort .. try to score that elusive goal .. and when you do , celebrate to the roar of the stadium fans .. in whichever manner you wish ..

its late morning .. its time to gym ..

its also time to go back a bit to time .. thanks to some of the Ef and their constant reminders with old pictures ..

.. thats the immediate family on the QE 2, in the early 80′s on the largest passenger ship at the time .. a holiday on it to US .. from Plymouth in England , where you board .. to New York over the Atlantic .. a 5 day journey .. a bit choppy at times , but always in the swing of the ship .. iceberg siting distant and safe .. and when you near the shores of the US and get the first site of New York, the entire ship passengers assemble on the main deck and watch in delight .. almost like that shot from GodFather 2, when the Italian migrants arrive for the first time to the US .. and the little godfather to be , Corleone, lost bewildered look gets off into immigration .. 

Love 

Amitabh Bachchan

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Hadar Cats

Seventeen-year-old actress and all-around Renaissance woman Hadar Cats most recently starred in My Dad’s Christmas Date, and is currently filming a couple of projects that will be released soon. Hadar lives in Rome and speaks Italian, Hebrew, Spanish, and German. She also plays multiple instruments, sings, and is a competitive equestrian. Hadar took a few minutes to chat with us about her current projects, life, and how she balances it all:

How do you get into and stay in character when filming?

Everyone has their own way of doing it. My character Emma [in My Dad’s Christmas Date], she’s very similar to me in terms of how opinionated, loud and expressive she is, so it wasn’t a very different or difficult character to play. I obviously read the script multiple times, took notes, and thought a lot about her as a person, which is definitely important. I look forward to trying method acting or the Stanislavski system in the future; I think it’ll be a fascinating learning process.

You’re having a round table discussion with any four people (living or dead, real or fictional). Who is at the table, and what are you discussing?

That is an extremely hard question. Wow, I have so many! I would say 2Pac, Michelangelo, Ariana Grande, and my grandfathers. I’m not sure if that group would necessarily get along, but it would be amazing to get them together. Obviously, the conversation would be about art in all its forms, that is, if I’d even be able to speak. I think I’d be a total mess around these people.

What is the best piece of advice that you’ve ever received?

I don’t know if this is necessarily a piece of advice, but I live by a phrase my mum says a lot in Hebrew, which roughly translates to ‘It is what it is.’ 

How do you make time for school, practice, and yourself? What do you do for self-care?

It can get hard, and sometimes I forget to take a step back and breathe. But I try my best to have slow Saturday mornings, where I go to the gym and do my ‘Bubble’ skincare routine, including a facemask while listening to a podcast: it’s the best way to start the day. Riding is also a type of self-care for me—I feel so at peace while I’m doing it. Even just spending time with my horses is the best. 

Does your experience in languages and music impact how you approach acting? If yes, how?

Definitely. Before I took singing lessons, the way I spoke was completely different. I had a bit of a raspy and monotonous voice. Now that the way I speak has changed so dramatically, I find that my tone and range have changed a lot too. Rhythm is also so important. Italian, for example, is a highly rhythmic language, and learning how to do Italian scenes with an Italian rhythm can still be a challenge, but music has definitely helped!

You have the opportunity to ask an all-knowing fortune teller one question. What do you ask?

I would want to know if I’ll be successful and happy and in what field I’ll find my happiness and success. 

What’s next for you?

Finishing school and starting the next chapter of my life, which I’m super excited about!

Thanks for taking the time, Hadar!

📸: Eva Schwank

[supercodi]

How do you stay on track when you travel? - Honestly, you don’t. - There is a way to enjoy your vacations within reason. - How to enjoy your vacation within reason and not just using it to go crazy: - 1. Enjoy the local food and culture of wherever you are at, but keep limits on food you can get anywhere… like Oreos or Doritos. If you are just sitting in a hotel room with a bag of Doritos because you are on vacation… this is not enjoying within reason. 😝 - 2. Try to still base the majority of your meals around protein. Don’t order fettuccine Alfredo for every meal just because there is a good local Italian place nearby. This is where you start to try out that whole “balance” thing. - 3. When it comes to training: you can either take a rest for your vacation or you can try to find a local gym nearby that allows for guest passes. This might depend more on how long your trip is. Anything over a week I would suggest finding a gym to get some workouts in. - 4. Even if you find a gym I would recommend implementing it as a deload week. Chances are you will be way out of your usual routine so you will not be at your best performance wise. Making it a deload week takes the pressure off of having to perform in an unfamiliar environment but helps get you moving and retaining muscle mass. - Ultimately your vacations are meant to be enjoyed and what matters most is that you get back on track as soon as you get home. What you are doing on a daily basis outside of your vacation time is going to be much more important than what you do during a short vacation. 😁 - #vacation #nutrition #eating #food #teamcoachcody #ftmbodybuilding #bodybuilding #weightloss #fatloss #strengthtraining #gym #workout #training #health #fitness #motivation https://www.instagram.com/p/CTQA731PCwi/?utm_medium=tumblr