#its bad its real bad . im thinking abt them So Much i wanna take a nap w them ....

[nomairuins]

i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately

[mysimsyuri]

🫵 you.

🏁- if not at the same time, who started pining first? how long until it became mutual (if ever)?

🛏️- did you two ever have a "there's only one bed" moment?

💭- who daydreamed about the other more often? what did they think about most?

ough thankyou elliot for asking vague ones so i can indulge...... (these two have been plaguing my brain All Day . queerplatonically)

🏁 - not to sound a little self absorbed but i do think it was shawn for sure. i have in depth feelings abt shawns feelings for the ppl around him but i wanna wait til im further into the show to say anything but uh !! he had a lil crush on me for a bit but after i was like "bro im aroace" he backed off and the feelings developed more into how he felt abt gus (didnt know anything abt qprs yet, just thought it was ~best friend vibes~; also hed had feelings for gus for literal Years and just kind of assumed thats what they were) so he just kinda sat back and let the feelings fester (he skipped a lot between thinking they Were romantic and trying to give me space so he didnt make me uncomfy/things w gus weird and those aforementioned ~best friend vibes~) until it grew to full on pining for both me And gus.

paragraph break woag. um after that it was me, i realized i had queerplatonic crushes on them both about a couple months later ?? also i just assumed that gus and shawn were in a qpr already cuz of how they acted fghdkjfg so it was just like "ok cool. should i ask if they need a third or would that be weird. im gonna say weird and just sit here and Pine"

gus. hrm. i think he definitely liked shawn for a little while and were gonna pretend i can name a certain time in the show to back this up. maybe they both nearly died and the experience awakened something in him idk. he pined for him a little but not w me (i still dont have the details of how we all started the relationship but i think i bring up qprs and theyre both like "huh??? thats. is that what this is???" so he only starts liking me like that After we start being together (we didnt think to just. share shawn. we were just like "ok were all together now. the three of us. wahoo"))

🛏️ - not particularly cuz theres not rlly a bed in the office (unless there is. once again 10 episodes in sdfhjg) ?? But there are all nighters and naptimes w the one couch . usually for naps well just sleep at our desks but sometimes u just gotta stretch out n lay down yknow and if somebodys already there then oh well!! shawn has woken up multiple times to both me And gus passed out nearly on top of him (and vice versa ofc but shawn looks the coziest. i lay on him on purpose)

💭 - tbh prolly me a teehee :]c shawn and gus are usually too busy working to daydream while i just sit at my desk thinking abt them rescuing me from something or other... or just what it would be like to hug them .

[be-good-to-bugs]

:D

[slamsuckingslut]

willne and y/n being good friends, where shes been in his videos a couple times before and people always do edits of them and lowkey ship them⭐️

and everybody thinks theyre dating but theyre all like "no guys😣!!" but they actually are down bad for eachother

PLEASE MAKE THEM END UP TOGETHERRR😭

thanks bestie!☺️

Omg this is a cute idea. i fw cutesy shit like this heavy anon. I'm gonna assume fem reader cause u said she, so she it will be.

WillNE x fem!reader

No details abt y/n, just that she is girl and has been on Wills channel and has one of her own.

Potential title;

what the fans want, the fans get.(its me, im fans.)

NO NSFW, JUST CUTESY !!

Anytime Will posted a video and y/n was in it, it would get more views than the ones with James, or if y/n posted featuring Will. And mainly because the comments.

lord the comments.

"omg they'd literally be the best power couple on youtube"

"THE TENSION, JUST KISS ALREADY"

"PLSSS I NEED YOU TWO TO GET TOGETHER ALREADYY"

"bro fr rizzed her up"

Will and y/n never directly responded to comments, unless one made a joke to the other about them, making the other blush slightly. Or if James decided to make a joke, which would make both of them incredibly flustered as they immediately deflected it.

"what? Me and her/him would never work, dating her/him would be a bloody nightmare."

"Will(or)Y/n? Seriously? Nah, I don't think that'd work.."

Are just a few of the usual responses to either of them would give if asked about the comments, or if a joke happened to be made.

But privately, it wasn't so much of a joke. Will would make it seem like he couldn't stand dating her, but really that's all he wanted. And y/n seemed to think Will genuinely didn't want her, but she most definitely wanted him.

The way she'd stare at him when he spoke, or did anything really, would make Will's heart skip a beat.

The way Will would offer to help her with things or get things higher up for her gave her butterflies, especially if he reached around her.

Basically the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, and the fans definitely noticed more and more in the videos of the two together.

And like the fans they are, would comment on every single little interaction and blow up the videos by just shipping them.

Today was no different, y/n being at Will's as they talk over ideas for videos and hang out, and boy are the comments from the fans relentless.

"Y'know, Will, I think the fans want us to get together. Wouldn't it be funny if we did a joke video of us going on a date or something? Just to mess with them?"

Will immediately blushed but hid by turning away slightly and letting out a laugh as he nodded, he managed to get himself under control and not blush.. but his cheeks were still definitely pink at the idea of taking her on a date, even as a joke.

"Ah yeah, that'd be well fun, eh? Get to take a pretty girl like you out and mess with those morons."

Now it's y/ns turn to blush as she stares at him and smiles a bit, letting out a little laugh. She nods a bit and stares at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"But just as a joke.. right? Wouldn't want to over indulge them, right?"

Will seemed to think for a second at that as he stared at her, not really knowing what to say. He could either reject the girl he's been wanting for ages or make a fool of himself if she didn't want him.

She stared at him as she waited for a response, hoping he'd say for real, but also hoping that'd he'd play it off as a joke just so it doesn't get awkward.. but it's already awkward as they silently stare at eachother.

"I uhm-.. I mean if you want it to be a real date, I'd take you on one.. but surely you wouldn't, don't wanna over indulge the fans, eh?"

Will managed to say, feeling like his heart had broken his ribcage then dropped into his stomach as he stared at her. He managed a smile and a small chuckle as he ignored how sweaty his palms felt.

Y/n on the other hand, was freaking out. Her stomach twisting and doing flips as she tried to fight the growing warmth on her cheeks as she stared at him.

"I wouldn't mind a real date.. If you were serious."

She said as she stared at him, ignoring the lump in her throat as she bites the inside of her cheek, staring at him hopefully as she hopes he was serious, and not just messing with her.

He nearly died. He was absolutely giddy with excitement as she confirmed she'd go on a real date with him. Shit. She wants to go on a date with him. His stomach does flips as he stares at her and smiles widely.

"Obviously I'd take you on a real date, y/n. But we definitely shouldn't over indulge the fans, they might all explode, the morons.."

He said as he got closer to her, seeming like he wanted to touch her somehow, but didn't want to overstep.

She stared at him as she smiled, her cheeks flushing a light red as she looked at him and stood right in front of him and glanced at his lips.

"I'll go on the date if I get a kiss. Gotta know that you're serious, y'know?"

She said as she shrugged and stared up at him expectantly, grinning slightly.

He smiled but froze, staring at her for a second. He sneakily wiped his hands on his pants, de-sweaty-ing his hands before he gently cupped her cheeks.

He hesitantly leaned in, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to her lips she could pull away from anytime. But he hoped she wouldn't and that she was serious.

And boy was she serious. She gently put her hands on his jaw, kissing him back as she smiled.

Eventually they both pulled away, staring at eachother and smiling like idiots, which they were idiots for not getting together sooner.

"So, where we goin for that date Lovely?"

"Hm, I dunno.. Surprise me, but not somewhere super fancy, somewhere simple."

He smiled, nodding as he heard her request for a simple date. He stared at her for a moment before kissing her again, to which she happily kissed him back, hugging him tightly.

BONUS!!!!

It has been months since they'd been dating, and finally decided to tell the fans. Using y/ns original idea of a fake date, but it just being a real date that will could write off as a business expense. Which got millions of views, and loads of comments.

"OMFG ARE THEY ACTUALLY OFFICIAL??"

"HOLY SHIT HE BAGGED HER FINALLY"

"Omg they're so cute together I can't-"

"lil bro actually rizzed her up"

Despite it being an even split between doubtful comments and comments being overly excited they got together, they eventually decided to confirm it to the fans a few weeks later..

To which so many of them freaked out, in a happy way. Tweets, posts, comments, and all of the above from fans freaking out over their favorite ship finally being confirmed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bro this was so silly goofy to write, i love it smsm.

BUT PEOPLE FROM OTHER FANDOMS PLSPLS GIVE ME REQUESTS, I LOVE DOING WILLNE BUT I NEED MORE IDEAS FOR THE OTHER THINGS I LIKE PLSPLSPLS

also to the anon or multiple that keep requesting willne, i will continue to feed u trust 🙏 love u

[verysanebsdfan]

Helloo 💗💗

Idk if ur taking hxh requests now but could you do hcs on how it'd likely go when Killua's family eventually find out abt his s/o?? How each family member is likely to react and how they even found out abt that anyway, and all that since...

I DONT THINK ITD GO WELL BUT I COULD BE WRONG

Have a nice day by the way <3

Hello and thank you for requesting<3

I doubt it will be accurate but thats what headcanons are for ig? Either way i tried <3

Also i made this gn!reader

Tw: a little foul language i guess, murder mentioned in a silli way >_<, its really bad so it needs a warning too

○ oKi imagine Illumi somehow saw you on a date or just hanging out ykyk, and told it to the rest of the family cuz Killua is the fav child?! fuckin snitch

○ Alr so lets be fr, it would really depend on your strenght. Are you strong asf and good influence on Killua? Sure, it could be arranged. But are you weak, or bad influence, or have some flaws that they dont like? RUN.

○ So lets say you are not the worst (ily yall dw), i have a strong feeling that Kikyo, Killuas mom, would despise you. She'd be like those moms on socials like, "nuh uh you arent his first kiss, i was, and he is still my baby boy" and "i cant let anyone steal my boy, he is mine, not yours blah blah" girl, grow tf up.

○ And lets be honest, it wouldnt be much better with Illumi :((

Oh? Kill has an s/o? hm...once they have a disagreement, he will kill them anyway

○ STFU U ILLUMINATI >_<

○ Next up would be Milluki

○ Imagine not having a real s/o, Milluki (i aint better)

○ Either way, he wouldnt be happy but what can he do? You arent the favourtie child Milluki.

○ I dunno what to say, really, but Kalluto wouldnt really give a flying shit.

○ Alluka would adore you omg >_< AND you're gonna be her sister in law?! RIGHT? RIGHT? Same with Nanika, adores you. But if you ever hurt Killua....id recommend killing yourself quickly before they find you. (pls dont kys and dont hurt killua)

○ I wanna include Zeno cuz he slays sm. Supporting grandparent fr. Much better than Kikyo and Illumi.

○ Now on to Silva....

○ I can sorta see him be okay with it, i mean, if Kill is happy and wants to get stronger, and return home, why tf not.

○ But be careful, a little slip and *funeral music starts playing*

○ Overally pretty chill on the outside at least

○ So if you were cool and strong, you would probably live (hopefully)

Guys im sorry its badddddddddddddddddd but i tried, I am on a vacacion so my brain kind of got fried its so hot here wthhhh

[girlboybug]

California Gurls

"warm, wet n’ wild, there must be something in the water."

or the one where joel hasn't been to california in god knows how long, but, one thing's for certain. he loves, california girls.

what’s playing 🎧 : california gurls by katy perry

pairing : joel miller x cali!girl reader

word count : 2k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUTTY HEADCANON LIST, age gap, public sex, light themes of exhibitionism, heavy petting, bikini fetish, is that a thing? it is now. unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampies, oral f!receiving, blowjobs, doggy style, riding, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, switch coded joel and reader, joel still leans towards top/dom, edging, forced orgasms, drunk/high sex

TRIGGER WARNINGS : umm i honestly can't think of any besides sex under the influence of both alcohol and weed but neither joel and reader are sober so its all around consensual as always :) if i missed anything plz lmk!

a/n : hi baes, im sorry that ive been slacking on uploading, ive been a bit burnt out, and i recently just got a job! so i fear my uploading may become more scarce but i will try my best to not let it get too bad.

ive had this au in mind for awhile n thought a headcanon list would b perfect hehe and i might make it a full fic in the future. i have a very special fic im almost done with and then a few more requests, thank u to those patient ppl who requested it, i promise i havent forgotten abt u!!! anyways sorry this is so long kjjdsjhdjsj plz enjoy and if there is anyway i can make my writing more inclusive pleaaase let me know!

joel didn't even want to be in california, but it was on the way to where him and ellie needed to go, and it was supposed to be just them two passing through, nothing less, nothing more.

but then, and of course there's always a but, on the journey both joel and ellie stumble upon a beach.

a beach with you.

culture shock for joel, like immediately. it's almost like the virus never spread to california, specifically their beaches. girls girls girls, all clad in the skimpiest bikinis and swimwear he's seen in years - or ever actually.

ellie convinces him to stay, just for a little while, and of course, he obliges, begrudgingly. the begrudging feeling and furrow in his brows slowly melts away when he's left to unwind in the warm sand, wandering eyes traveling across the beach's very underdressed inhabitants.

he lets ellie play in the water, he's more than content enjoying the view surrounding him in the sand.

you’re quick to notice the newcomers, instantly excited upon meeting new people

you make it real difficult for joel to maintain eye contact while he talks to you, he feels like he needs to physically hold his eyes in place so they don't drift down to the way your tits spill out your bikini top

he can smell the salty water, the semi sweet and unforgettable scent of sunscreen and a hint of coconut on you, and it's honestly mind numbing

and when ellie begs to stay in california for a bit longer than they planned, he surprises both himself and ellie when he jumps to say yes.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

ੈ✩‧₊˚

you make joel never wanna leave california. when it's dark out, with the beach left empty and void of half naked and sunburnt people, it becomes a space for just you and joel.

he loves fucking you right on the sand, loves setting up your bright pink beach towel across the sandy floors just to push your face down onto it, smushing your cheek until your pretty lips pucker and sob his name when he bullies the fat head of his cock into your fluttering hole.

it was so easy getting joel to crack and fuck you, it didn't take much convincing, if anything, it took more convincing on his part to not bend you over upon immediate introductions. but when he finally lets himself have you, it's all he ever wants to do

it was a massive shock that he could keep up with your stamina, he's like what, 56? and you're a 20 something year old full of life and energy and yet he was giving you a run for your money, almost making you tap out when he forces a third orgasm of the night out of you

he loves to drag his tongue across your skin, loves to sink his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder when he fucks you from the back, he loves tasting the remnants of the ocean that lingers on your skin

loves to sneak off with you behind the lifeguard tower, and he loves hearing you plead with him to give you some attention.

he loves to make you beg for it. he loves pushing those tiny bikini bottoms that cover not enough, just to lap and lap and lap, at your soaked cunt.

loves to eat it til you cry, he doesn't stop until you have to push him off. he loves it when he gets to flip you on your tummy, he pulls your hips up and buries his face in your pussy, licking you up until your legs shake and can barely keep you upright, but it's okay, he's always there to keep you in place.

you enjoy feeding his ego when you tell him he's the best you've ever had, which isn't a lie

but the way he forces your knees near your ears when you whine about how his cock is the best, and the way he plunges in so deep you can feel him kiss your cervix, makes you feel like you'd say anything else he wanted to hear to get him to keep fucking you like that

sometimes he just can't keep his hands off you, so he'll pull you away to the secluded part of the beach, and make you ride him

oh you love riding him. you like feeling the slight shift in dominance that occurs when you get on top. you love pushing his chest down, letting his back connect to the sand, tons of little grains getting lost in his hair when you keep him down like that, fucking him the way you like, using his fat cock like your personal toy. 

you don’t care about how sensitive he is, you make him take your tight cunt, he's the one that wanted this, so it's only fair he finishes what he started after all.

it's your turn to only get more turned on when you see his pretty brown eyes line with tears when you're fucking him through his second orgasm back to back.

you're insatiable when you're like this, drunk on his cock, and drunk on the power trip of being in control. you’re unable to stop your hips from rocking down onto his, guiding his fingers to your needy clit.

you lower yourself down to his chest, kissing his freckled shoulders, teeth grazing over his collarbones when he's whimpering in your hair, feeling too much everywhere but he doesn't tell you to stop, he takes everything you give him

loves pulling you into his chest when you've ticked him off, he keeps your back to his front, he spreads your legs and keeps them open with his ankle hooking around your's.

his strong bicep, that you love, keeps you in a loose chokehold, his free hand teasing your soaked cunt, bringing you to the edge of release just to rip it away from you. he loves kissing your sunkissed skin, feeling the warmth from being in the sun all day while he whispers for you to, shut the fuck up and behave.

his fingers circle around your clit, switching between that and burying his thick digits in your aching hole, scoffing when you sigh and whimper in relief when he pushes his middle finger in

doesn't let you finish despite your pleas and cries

he's so mean when he's mad at you. :(

he takes your bikini bottoms, pocketing them away and tossing you his flannel if you're gonna complain that much about being bare even though you're practically naked 99% of the time.

you immediately go home, throw his flannel over a pillow and hump it, trying your best to focus on the scent that wafts from his flannel, and lingers on your skin, pretending the friction you felt was from his fingers

you love getting back at joel, like when you're sitting at the tiki bar, and he's trying his best to converse with your friends

you'll snake yourself in his arms, hopping onto his lap while he sits in the barstool, accidentally letting your wet bikini bottoms soak his drying swim trunks

you also unintentionally squirm around in his lap, 'not realizing' you're grinding your ass right on his hardening cock, looking up at him in faux concern when he starts stuttering and stammering mid-convo

he grips your hips, his fingers digging into your warm skin, silently warning you

you don't heed his warnings, naturally, and instead hop off his lap, announcing to the group that you've decided to go for another session in the water, leaving him to awkwardly swivel his barstool away as to not flash his aching erection beneath his swim trunks to all your friends.

of course joel always gets the last word, he's pulling you away from the water, tugging you along with him by the rocks near the shore the furthest from everyone

little girl is gonna learn today, he mutters to himself, and you have to hide your squeals of excitement, knowing he's gonna fuck you stupid

and that he does, he makes you work for your orgasm, and that’s only if he feels nice enough in the moment 

he has you on your knees in front of him while he leans his back against the sturdy surface of a large rock, his hand resting behind your head while he grunts for you to take every inch of him down your throat 

s’what girls like you are good for, i’nt that right baby? 

your cunt flutters at his words, he always makes you tingly from just speaking 

when he’s about to cum he can never decide which is better, seeing your pretty face covered in his seed or watching you swallow it down without a single flinch 

before you, joel hadn’t done anything like this in like, 20+ years, so when you think you’re done, you’re not. 

his cock stays hard sometimes, and he’s more than willing to use you over and over until he’s satisfied, not that you complain, you’re always so pliable and compliant for him. 

he sits you up, pulls you into his lap and makes you put it in, loves watching his fat cock disappear into your greedy cunt, sucking him in and wrapping around him like a tight glove. 

holds your hips down and keeps you in place while he fucks up in to you, tugs your bikini top down and sucks on your chest, tongue messily dragging all along your salty skin, teasing your sensitive nipples with his teeth 

sometimes he’ll play nice, he’ll rub your sweet little clit, cooing and kissing at your neck and cheek when you collapse in his chest, rutting on his cock while he fucks you through your all consuming orgasm. 

buries his face in your neck to breathe in your scent when he’s close, whispers to you if you’ll let him cum inside, and you always say yes 

grunts a few utterances of your name when he cums in you, he slowly fucks his cum inside you, the wet sound from your grinding bodies turns him on more than he can even describe, addicted to how it feels and how it sounds 

loves to slowly pull out, and watch his cum leak from your hole, loves knowing he’s the first and only one, who gets to do that to you. 

and when he’s at your small place, with ellie being at a girl her age’s place for the night, he unwinds in your bed with you, passing a blunt back and forth

you give him sips from whatever fruity alcoholic drink you’ve concocted that night, giggling mid kiss when you taste the mixture of a mango pineapple drink and weed on his tongue 

and he always gets the munchies on nights like this, but not for food

loves devouring your pussy when he’s high, he’ll make his way on top of you, eyes ablaze, mouth parted with low breaths, eyeing you down like you’re his prey 

you try to tease him by closing your legs, but that’s fine, he can work with that

he grabs your ankles, taking them in one big hand, pulling you down towards him before he lifts your legs up by your ankles, smirking to himself when he pushes your panties to the side and dives in tongue first 

he can eat you out for hours, he’s just so hungry, and he can’t get enough of you

and when you’re shaking, trembling, struggling to breathe, he loves watching the violent jerk your body makes when he pushes his cock inside your messy and soaked hole, loves holding you down while you shake beneath him from your burning orgasms you just had back to back 

fucks you nice and slow, wants you to feel every single inch, and every single vein inside of you, wants you to know who’s fucking you this good

and when he can’t hold off on leaving california any longer, he tries to convince you to come with him. and in the time that the pair has stayed in california, ellie has grown to like you, and naturally joins him in his pleas, begging you to come along with them. 

and as much as you want to go along with them, you can't get yourself to leave. california’s your home, and it could be their’s too, you try to tell them, but you both know where the other belongs. 

when he leaves, he kisses you hard enough that you pray it bruises into your lips for the rest of your life. 

you make him promise to try and come by at least every summer, and with a wide smile, he says he can do that. 

[angellurgy2]

i thinkci just ruin everything in my life. i walk around trying my fucking hardest to be the best girl i can be, to communicate my issues, to tell when I feel bad abt them, to try n figure out how to move past them. i try to engage w people on things they like i try to pretend i like things i try to pretend im a person who is able to interact w 'interests' i try to pretend i can take all the fucking abuse and exclusion and forgetfulness on a daily basis but no matter what i do i just ruin everything somehow. ive stopped speaking out loud to anyone at all irl bc i know everythinf that co w out of my mouth will be hated on or taken with the worst assumption possible instead of assuming the best in me which no one has ever done. even my irl gfs never think of me. never even consider what id like. i get to just rot while they run away without ever msging me to go fuck a girl who hate s me. i want a fucjing break from the pain which is why i tried to kms but its not always gonna fuckinf work so im just stuck here n i cant reaaally come online for refuge anymore bc all im reminded of is how much people have fucjing abandoned me and how u all reblog all of their shit so theyre plastered on my dash and i just wanna fucking escape this endless pain that I can never avoid feeling. i want real fucking friends but im just not allowed to have them i guess. at times ive thought 'im glad i didnt die b4 so i could meet my first irl gfs at least' but now i dont. now i just wish that the pain would(ve) stop at all. and sure some of the problem is just that ppl r fucking assholes who refuse to acrually care about their sisters and are lying to everyones faces abt their morality but clearly im a walking fckn problem too. no matter what everytime im around smth gets ruined. what am i even supposed to fucking do when theres no point in trying anything anymore

[rose022]

hi~ im rose! (among other names lol, ask for them or find them) welcome to my intro!

- dont feel bad about blocking or unfollowing me, just wanna say this. i may make posts abt being confused when i see people leave but curate ur own experience idc be happy

- you can call me whatever you want idc, just lemme know. like genuinely any nickname. i do have two others tbh but ehh

- yeah yeah im an adult so dont block me if i like ur post and u say mdni ight? also for any minors if that makes u uncomfortable u can leave. i dont tend to post anything nsfw here, just sometimes suggestive stuff and both nsfw and suggestive are tagged just like that

- pronouns are whatever is funniest in the moment. or just use your own. neos are ok

- asks and dms always open for anything. i won't really reach out first but i promise you can always talk to me about anything. if you don't have anyone else or just want to talk about a particular thing or want to vent, etc. like genuinely pretty please talk to me about your interests i will gladly listen!!! <3

- also you can always tag me in anything!! i love tag games (i may take a bit) and if theres anything you think id like or reminds you of me id love to see it!!

- don't really have a dni but like i will block you if you're a bigot. im a fag and autistic if you don't like that go away idc. also if you are pro cop or military stuff fuck off

- if we're mutuals please tag stuff with cw rose for anything with touya or akito being shipped with anyone else or TBHK nene and tsukasa as a ship, self harm images, stuff about spiders (or any bugs kinda) mostly pictures of them or them on someone (bees moths and butterflies exempt), needles if theyre detailed not cartoony, real life gore of animals or humans (not sfx or art just real stuff), sa, stiff about veins, and please use tone tags but mostly just for joking or sarcasm as i tend to assume everything is serious.

- MUTUALS PLEASE TELL ME STUFF TO TAG FOR YOU!!! i do my best to read carrds and intros and stuff but i might forget please remind me please. gore and sexual stuff will get tagged as gore and nsfw but it's mostly explicit stuff. things are tagged as what it is, not with cw or tw.

- !!current things i tag are agere, homestuck, eye strain, saiouma, bsd, religion, body dysmorphia, religion, marlo dont look (for nsfw stuff, tbh im not sure what counts but anything with mentions of sexual stuff that isn't just like a joke), elie shoo (csm saiouma gore), suggestive (anything relating to anything nsfw like jokes or anything else), adrien no look (alcohol, crickets, girl interrupted, hospital innuendos), clowns

- tags

#rose rambles - my posts

#rose tagged ramblings - i made a separate one for when i talk a lot in tags

#rose art - quite simply rose's art

#rose ocs - the sillies from my brain

#ask rose! - asks

#rose pics - look i don't get creative with naming these i think you can tell

#rose cosplay - ^^^ yeah

#helpful - things that could be helpful to anyone

#save - similar to above but more so personal things

#important - maybe not technically helpful but i think people should see

#favs - self explanatory, i believe

#sillies - similar to above but not really

#luv - mutual appreciation mostly

#heart! - things made by mutuals!

#liebe - things made for me!

#mecore - woah thats so me frfr

#rose writing - idk man take a guess

(i wanna like fix all my posts to have tags but i reblog so much and itll take me a million years to get back to the start of my account atp. maybe one day.)

- commission info

art:

writing: $2 per 100 words (?)

i also take requests for these!! or other stuff but like it will almost definitely take me a bajillion years to finish so if you wanna make sure i do something, gimme money. but u dont gotta its ok ily anyways

i have a k-fi rose226 and dm for p-ypal

- sideblogs

@nightcord-luka-official

@luka-spotted most active

@daily-akiyama-mizuki hiatus!

@daily-asahina-mafuyu hiatus!

@kokomi-sangonomiya-official

@mafuyu-asahina-official

@wansho-luka-official

@junior-high-enanan-official

@fischl-official

@rosemusictime lol no followers

@oz-the-bird-official (to translate my Fischl)

@ako-udagawa-official this and above in progress

@daily-purple-character send reqs

@rose-poll-account

@aoi-shirosaki-official pjsk oc rp blog

@hikari-itsuki-official ^

@yuki-jigoku-official ^

@kei-makura-official ^

@roseswonderland things i make

@yuki-spotted

@niigo-va-updates

(i may remove u as a follower depending on if i trust you enough for these next few but if we're mutuals ur pretty much safe)

@moonlit-thoughts22 vent

@selfless-lvr selfship/kin

@softrosebud agere

@shhh-its-rose moots only one mentioned at the top of this

and ask for the nsfw one... cus im too scared to just add it

(guys i think I have too many sideblogs help)

im not active on many other social media but if we're mutuals you can ask for like anything and ill probably have an account. somehow im most active here tho (and in one discord server but u guys cant join)

[kanonavi]

hello tumblr user kanonavi who is 1/3rd of the reason i started rereading tgcf. i have come to collect my personal apology for the emotional damages inflicted upon me for the past 5 days. and i have also come with THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (mostly feelings)

- icb i put off this reread so long hualian are so romance. theyre jsut Romance......... absolutely floored by every throwaway bit of dialogue they had....... in shambles forever....,

- sqx arc was not as painful as the first few times i read it bc i now stand with my cancelled wife (he xuan) I STILL LOVE SQX AND THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD. BUT HX WAS REAL FOR ALL OF THAT. i love revenge

- i wanna know your thoughts on ling wen bc u mentioned having mixed feelings on her but i loved her so bad all the way to the end so im curious ljdkdjf

- i am not immune to backstory arc pt2. read it last last (?) night at like 3am and cried myself to sleep its just so gutting every timeeeeeee.... the hc plot that builds in that arc is ofc one of my favorites in the entire novel though :')

- the chapter w the cave of statues took me like 2+ hours to get through because i was feeling so insane abt it

i feel bad dropping this block of text in ur askbox sorry. will leave it there for now LOL

Omg hiiiii tumblr user stardust-make-a-wish welcome back from the yaoi cocaine pit :3 I know you're here to collect emotional damages, but I must make it known that I'm not even remotely sorry <3

Also you should feel bad for yourself instead of for me because I can only respond to huge blocks of text with even bigger blocks of text, so (TGCF Spoilers Ahead) and also I am so sorry lmaooooo

UGH you're so right that hualian is the most romance forever they are just so *clenches fists and sobs*....... They're always there for each other and they're so in love and they've been through so much and I just want them to be able to rest because it's what they deserve.

I will never once say that Hu Xuan wasn't justified in everything he did cuz like. Shi Wudu had it coming what a piece of shit. But at the same time Qingxuan is my wife and I will not tolerate my wife being harmed. So like revenge slay yes but also I am still cancelling He Xuan and spraying him with the water bottle (even though he is already very very damp).

Yesyesyes Ling Wen. So my thought about Ling Wen is that she kinda girlbossed a little too close to the sun, but at the same time you look at her circumstances both past and present and have to understand why she did all of that. It already would have been hard enough for her to gain any kind of recognition as a woman, much less in the Heavenly Court, so her ruthlessness is completely understandable. But at the same time, I don't really think the Brocade Immortal deserved what she did to him nor was taking Bai Wuxiang's side in the final conflict a real cool thing of her to do. I can't fully be a hater though because her own thoughts about everything are clearly so nuanced (See: The final convo she had with Xie Lian about the Brocade Immortal, which I am still thinking so incredibly hard about to this day).

I think that Ling Wen is interesting in the same way that I find other characters like Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Yin Yu interesting. It's in the sense that even if I don't really agree with all of the actions that they took, it's very easy to look at them and come to an understanding of why they did what they did. And I have varying degrees of like for all of the characters I just listed, but that doesn't change the fact that they're all Compelling. So it's almost like a begrudging respect that I feel for Ling Wen, if I were to boil it down into simple terms.

aaaaaaaaaa The Horrors(tm) :sob: Even though I could talk about Xie Lian's arc through that part of his backstory for a million years, you're so right that Hua Cheng's arc through it is also so interesting to watch. It really goes to prove that Hua Cheng is different from everyone else in Xie Lian's life up until this point, because yes there's the very obvious throughline of Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian (rather than expecting his protection), but even more importantly that feeling never changes even when Xie Lian has his mini corruption arc.

Like, Hua Cheng fell in love with the pure and virtuous Crown Prince of Xianle but not for that quality. Instead of being ashamed and looking at Xie Lian with scorn when he was like "What if I kill everyone actually" Hua Cheng is like "Then let me be your sword". There's the element of not wanting Xie Lian to dirty himself that Hua Cheng carries for the entire story but the point is in that he is not a voice who would tell Xie Lian to stop having those thoughts if it's truly what he wants (Unlike what his parents or Feng Xin and Mu Qing would probably say).

I'm going to write an essay about their character dynamic one day istg I am chewing through the drywall

The cave statues chapter......... *passes away*. Like on one hand that chapter is so funny because yes Hua Cheng is just an absolute certified freak (POV my roommate telling me earlier on in my reading that HC is a porn addict and me being like "pssht noooo" but then getting to this chapter several months later and being like "O h.") but on the other hand THE CONFESSION??????? Like. All I can do is gesture wildly at the storyboard animatic that someone made of that scene on YouTube while absolutely fucking sobbing. There is a reason why the cover of volume 6 felt somehow more intimate than the cover of volume 4 where they're literally making out.

Anyway I'm patting Hua Cheng on the head like It's okay buddy Xie Lian loves you because you're a certified freak, he's seen too much of this world to be weirded out even a little bit. Which is why those two are perfect for each other <3

I'm glad you had so much fun on your reread, have fun with the brainworms :3

[spruzu]

Doing a silly post of all my (main) fav characters bcz why not.

They will mainly be in order of who i like the most but some are even and if i was asked to pick one between them i physically wouldnt be able to.

-KNUCKLES THE MF ECHIDNA!!!!!!!!!!

HES SO COOOOL I CANT. Theres a knuckles shaped part in my heart. (kinda wanna be him in a way it's kinda embarrassing) I LOVE all of his versions in sonic prime, renegade knucks has a special place in my heart though he's top tier. Sonic boom knuckles is so funny and stupid like him going ''Oh wait i cant read.'' is so funny to me as a dyslexic person myself. Movie knuckles needs to be protected at all costs istg he's so sweet. GIVE KNUCKLES ALL THE GRAPES HE WANTS! 🍇🍇🍇🍇

-Sonic the hedgehog

Sonic's on the same level as knuckles he genuinely so cool and i do base some of my personality off him... i love his character development in sonic prime but his attitude in sonic x is so funny its amazing. He's defo got a bit of attitude to him in the older stuff which makes me love him more. His jokes and ''Wtf is danger.'' attitude is so real. Also movie sonic voiced by Ben Schwartz HELL YEAH, i love Ben hes so funny i cant wait for sonic 3.

-Shadow the hedgehog

''Another sonic character? is all your favourite characters sonic characters?'' no, just wait i get to other characters <3 but MY MY MY MY MYYY OH MY I LOVE SHADOW. I remember my first sonic game, if you can even call it that, being Mario and Sonic 2012 Olympic games and always playing as either shadow, sonic, silver or amy. I loved paying as him. Also his game is SO FUN and his backstory is so fun to learn and 100% take some of his personality and put it onto mine like i do with sonic. He's just such a good character and im glad this is the year of shadow bcz we NEED more shadow content. i would ramble about him more but i cant think of anything else to say.

-Leonardo (ROTMNT)

Another character voiced by Ben schwartz! I just recently watched this movie and i LOVED it. I used to like TMNT when i was little but never fully got into it but my favourites were always Leo and Mikey. Im literally him /hj. He's such a cool character (i say that with all of them i just love them all so much). Also if any TMNT fans have any movie/TV show recommendations for TMNT i am willing to take them!

-Miles Morales

I remember watching Into the Spider Verse and i loved it so much, i felt bad for miles in a way because he had to go through seeing spider man die in front of his eyes then realising hes the new spider man and blah blah blah. Im watching Penny's (from snapcube) VODs from when she played Spiderman 2 and miles' suits are so cool i love how they added the spider-verse movie suits into the game theyre defo some of my favs. Across the spider verse was such a good movie but into the spider verse was defo better (hot take? idk). Im so excited to see what happens in the next movie.

-Silver the hedgehog

Another sonic character yes, but i love sonic so much its my main special interest/hyperfixation. Silver is so silly i need to see more content of him tho. It's also kinda funny how his first appearance was sonic 06 ,which as we all know, is an awful game. In need to see more of him we need another game with him in as a playable character. Smt like SA2 idk.

-Batman

All forms of batman, lego batman is top tier and the rest under him. I watched the lego batman movie in the cinema when it came out and little me loved it and i recently, abt 3 years ago, got fully into batman stuff. The movies are so good and batman is such a cool character to, i need to meet more people who like him.

Thats it for now, i would add garfield but i dont really have anything to say abt him other than hes the most realest character ever. Hate mondays, love lasagne.

Anyways, i love these characters so much most of them being my comfort characters **cough cough** the sonic ones **cough cough**.

[witchbugs]

hello beloved mutuals u’ll never guess what character this post is about. to celebrate the episode betty’s ten year anniversary of existence here is a annotation of sorts (?) of my betty playlist (<- talking to empty audience) warning this makes increasingly less sense

starting off strong with betty (a little bit of madness) by half shy !!!!! we dont appreciate this song enough THERE IS A SONG ABT HER !!!!!! BY SOMEONE WHO WROTE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW :3 dont even have to say anything abt this one

THE MOON WILL SING BY THE CRANE WIVES. ITS THE. THE I COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE. I SPENT SO MUCH TIME DEDICATED TO SIMON IM NOT SURE THERES EVEN ANY ME LEFT ANYMORE. shaking like a rabid dog do we get the vision

the deal by mitski !! this one is just sooo betty fusing with golb ok trust me

& by tally hall!! this one is solely for the outro tbh 😭 BIG BAD BETTY OF THE POCALYPSE, SHE OPENS HER LIPS AND IT GOES LIKE THIS ‼️🔥🔥

I BET ON LOSING DOGS BY MITSKI. GODDD THIS IS THE ONE THAT MADE ME WANNA MAKE THIS POST. III BET ON LOSING DOGSS, I KNOW THEYRE LOSING AND I PAY FOR MY PLACE BY THE RING. simon/ice king ok. are we seeing the vision. and dont even get me STARTEDDD on i always want u when im finally fine… ITS THE WAY SIMON WAS INSANE AND WHEN HE WAS FINALLY HIMSELF AGAIN SHE WAS GONE. EATING GLASS. and FINALLY the SOMEONE TO WATCH ME DIE. GODDDD.

curses by the crane wives! I JUST THINK IT FITS OK :3 the devils after both of ussss OUGHGUH

no eyed girl by lemon demon, gonna be so real idk how to explain this one. we’re just vibing

i’m your man by mitski. yes theres a lot of mitski. this is on my petrigrof playlist as well and i think it could be from either pov tbh. LIKE the first verse is betty i think and the second is simon’s suicidal ass in fionna and cake

running up that hill (a deal with god) by kate bush :3 this ones just OBVIOUSSS id make a deal with god… GET HIM TO SWAP OUR PLACES…..

my girlfriend is a witch by october country ! just for sillies. magic betty ily forever and ever

love, me normally by will wood! dont know how to explain this one either tbh bc will wood lyrics scramble my brain but in a pleasant way. idk i just think shes full of autism and also magic insanity

sick of losing soulmates by dodie! OUGHGHG. another more petrigrof centered one but mannn . I CAN FINALLY SEE UR AS FUCKED UP AS ME SO HOW DO WE WIN. I WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. lighting myself on fire

death thrice dawn by the scary jokes! ngl i dont remember adding this one but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tossing this verse at u

wife by mitski!!!! is this a stretch. idc idc. ur home to mee if i am not urs what am iiii

goodbye, my danish sweetheart by mitski !! guhh magic betty and “i’m sure that uve seen what its done to my heart” and “im not the girl i ought to be” and “you can tell them what u saw in me and not the way i am” ☹️ ANDDD could we just be what we’re meant to be, im just about to beg u pleaseew ☹️💔

i guess by mitski GODDDD so proud of her for moving on and idk learning to pass the bechdel test i GUESS but im GOINJ TO EAT FIBERGLASS

ANDDD THATS THE END !!! FOR NOW !!! there will be more songs on this playlist later :3 if u read this ily and i will probably do this w/ my petrigrof playlist at some point :3

[muzwoom]

Like deruth has to make the first step and i want the angst of them finding out it was an act before cale attempts to let the act go can you tell more?

YES DEFINITELY

So a lot of fics have cale making the first step to make amends with his family which honestly? Realistic. I have never in real life experienced a parent actually owning up to their mistakes and taking the first step to apologize and be better its always the (often teen or adult at that point) child who makes that first step in my experience

And i think in canon it would probably be og cale trying to make amends as well, so i honestly read fics like this happily anyway

But in an ideal world parents take responsibility for their actions and try to be better for their kids! While deruth obviously loves and cares for cale he shows it in a very roundabout way (like making his servants report on what cale has been up to). I imagine this is more normal in a noble household instead of a normal household. However theyve very obviously just been waiting for cale to get better on his own instead of actually doing anything, while not knowing that it would never stop bc its largely an act and cale acts like that on purpose to help his siblings and stepmom

Im rambling at this point so im just gonna outline what in my eyes would be the perfect progression for cale and deruths relationship (and by extension the rest of the henituse family):

- somethinh happens that makes deruth try to sort of talk to cale (fuck if i know what, maybe its a situation where cale regressed and got ancient powers and has been throwing up blood like krs!cale, maybe cale went to an event where he caught the attention of someone dangerous like adin)

- cale is like “what the fuck my father is actually talking to me. What does this mean”

- somehow after a while of deruth trying to be more of a parent, lily and basen taking this as a chance to try and get closer with cale, and cale just being confused and feeling like a fish out of water, they find out about him faking the trash behavior

- idk how, maybe he just hinted at some things being the way they are bc of reasons to lily or whatever not thinking much would come from it??

- but yea they find out and theyre *not* happy bc cale has been doing this self sacrificial self destructive act on his own for ten years now and they want him to actually be happy

- cale at hearing that goes shocked pikachu face

- “oh i care abt my family but i didnt expect them to care about me back” 💀

- he does NOT wanna let the trash act go bc he thinks if he stops the vassals will just be pieces of shit again and it also a deterrent against gossip abt his family in general (hes also a depressed little fuck who thinks he doesnt fit in with the family, who thinks he deserves the scorn a little and who likes some of the benefits the act gave him (he also doesnt rlly know who else to be hashtag identity crisis))

- family is determined tho bc their boy just spent 10 years being self destructive like this while hiding that he really loved them ALL THIS TIME and they wanna show him they wanna spend time with him and that they love him back

- shit can still get a little tense sometimes, just bc of the baggage between deruth and cale and also just bc recovery isnt lineair and in really bad situations like for example the vassals making a really shit move cale would def put himself in the line of fire in a heartbeat and do smth trashy again

- i would love to see eric wheelsmans face when he finds out cale was faking it this whole time, man has been trying to stage interventions and shit while cale was doing it on purpose

[bunnihearted]

-.-

and no but fr it's easy for ppl to say im dramatic or too much or 'should just get over it'. but i've never had love feelings like this for anyone ever... i could go into depth but that's just the jist: i love this person so deeply so deeply it's so rare and so all consuming. and i might seem lame or stupid or pathetic but these feelings have been controlling me for 1.5yrs... (the crush developed fast). like actually controlling my life and idk what to do abt it. and it freaks me out bc i have gotten over crushes!!! i had one on a guy i knew and was friends with, but i didnt realize i had a crush until after we had 0 contact w eo. and it took me like 4yrs until i could think of him without chest pain and dread in my stomach??? then i had one on my physical therapist, but bc that relationship was strictly professional and he had no platonic nor physical interest in me, and i didnt even see him when my sessions ended, i got over him in 1 year and now dont even think of him. but this is different... it's also different bc it is the most "romance" (like incl. any share sexual and platonic and affectionate energy etc) that i've also received from my crush. like this is even harder for me to let go bc even if it wasnt an actual relationship, it felt close to one (esp so for me since i've never even had a relationship). plus my feelings and thoughts and sentiments i expressed wasnt one sided. so ..... like i am genuinely scared abt how i will get past this bc i cant live w this pain??? since im extra emotional like much more than an average person it hurts so fucking bad like so fucking bad. and it scares me bc 1) i dont wanna feel like this plus i keep thinking of it and 2) if i keep feeling like this it will close me off from meeting new potentional connections. so like yeah ppl can be dismissive all they want but i really dont want to feel like this bc it hurts so bad and it drives me insane and it is actually affecting my life... like im unable to function properly bc like ppl with whole full lives and are also not made like me might be normal abt things but.. this was al i wanted dreamed abt and just felt so much for and like idk what to do without it and idk how to function w it.

ok yeah maybe i sound crazy but like genuinely i feel insane abt it. and ppl just tell u to move on but like ?!?!?!?!? i dont know i dont know. if i met the first person i've loved like this at 25 ... what does that mean???????? if just crushes have taken me years to get past, how long will this take and how much will it hurt??? im like genuinely terrified bc i cant even imagine my life without them 🙃🙃🙃 i cant imagine wanting anyone else or feeling this way with anyone else 🙃🙃🙃🙃 and i know what ppl say ok i know i know!!!!! but i just cant?? idk how to process that bc im 25.. and i have /never/ felt this way.... maybe it just sounds crazy but i think i was made for them (but its sad when they arent made for me ofc</3). and might sound crazy but everyone are different and i just needed smth like this and idk!!!! yes i sound crazy idc im like so scared of emotions and how deep they are and idk what to do. bc apparently therapists dont want u coming to them to talk abt this and like ummmmm what if i cant let this go and keep going insane forever. i saw someone say they had unrequited love for someone for 10yrs and couldnt get over it. what the fuck?!?!? i wanna scream like how is this real 😦😦😦😦 is there any drug for me to take to lose all my emotions?!?!? 🫨🫨🫨🫨

[oshidorifuufu]

psst you are given permission to rant about your oshis in the answer to this ask!!!! (*´∀｀*) i wanna hear all about them!!!!!

THANK YOU SM I LOVE YOUU💖💖💖💖

I LOVE IZURU SO MUCH. IF YOU LOOK AT MY HAPPY TAG I THINK MOST IF NOT ALL THE POSTS R ABOUT IZURU 😭

hes cute, hes entertaining, he’s adorable, HIS ENGLISH is adorable, HES SO GOOD AT GUITAR!!!! AND SINGING!!! HIS AISHITE COVER OMG!!! AND I WANT HIS GOODS SO BAD!!!! HES INSPIRED ME TO PICK UP THE GUITAR AGAIN!!! and im so HAPPY because my guitar looks similar to the guitar in his model 🥺🥺

THIS HAD GOT TO BE ONE OF MY FAV IZURU CLIPS!!! HES SO CUTE!!!! https://youtu.be/wpK7_mhSMBo?si=lCmerRYcasUMeF7T (hakka english one)

OTHER FUN ONES: https://youtu.be/xN7qz89gSgw?si=Q67ns5T3kFj0modd , https://youtu.be/nUZZ5ylrU44?si=Tf-chkNQnNdQMkjk

AS I WRITE THIS i am listening to this song on loop https://youtu.be/PQyXsCV5ZWQ?si=RxLzwNRSDVf6vnFS LEARNING ABOUT THIS SONG WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME ALL YEAR AND YOU NEED TO HEAR IT TOO

in general its not JUST izuru that i love. I LOVE ALL THE HOLOSTARS!!!!! HANASAKI MIYABI IS MY OSHI TOO AND ASTEL LEDA AND KISHIDO TENMA MIGHT BECOME OSHI’S TOO!! AFGH BUT I ALSO LOVE ROBERU!! THIS SONG CHEERS ME UP SO MUCH ITS GOTTEN ME OUT OF DEPRESSIVE RUTS I!!! LOVE!!! IT!!!!!!!

(this roberu clip is so cute hehe) https://youtu.be/C5mH835w0LY?si=9niBq8V1enujoer7

WAHHHHHH IZURUS PART CAME ON IN THE SONG I LOVE HIM I LOVECHIM ITS SO GOOD WAHHH

RN IZURU IS MY KAMI OSHI AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL. BUT THE OTHERS R HOLOSTARS IN GENERAL, HANASAKI MIYABI, KANAE AND MEME MASHIRO!!!!!!!

HANASAKI MIYABI IS SO ADORABLE AND THIS MAY SOUND MEAN BUT I FIND THE FACT HES NOT THE BEST AS SINGING SO ADORABLE 😭 HES SUCH AN ADORABLE LITTLE FLOWER BOY!!!!!!!!! I WANNA BE AS CUTE AS HIMMM 😭 AND HIS 出かけよう SERIES IS SO FUN TO WATCH!! ITS GOT PRETTY SIMPLE JAPANESE AND THE EDITING IS SO CUTEE EHAHAHHEHAHAH

NEXT IS KANAE!!! KANAE ISNT FROM HOLOLIVE BUT NIJISANJI. (why am i talking in all caps oopsies???) HES SUPER MISCHEVIOUS BUT ALSO SUPER KIND!!!! AND FUNNY!!!!! ESPECIALLY IN CHRONIOR ALONGSIDE KUZUHA!!!!

MY FAV KNAE CLIPS/VIDEOS:

https://youtu.be/l7lfYjVRz6A?si=sP7qDRgI5pG2tqLv , https://youtu.be/N5TkXb9F4dQ?si=fg3ciRwAEm1hRjTc , https://youtu.be/kXyzE01wtIE?si=W1NZ5gF7eKj8ic61

I WATCHED A STREAM HIM LIKE LAST MONTH THAT WAS FUCKING 18 HOURS LONG!!!!! FROM SM LIKE 6PM TO 12PM JPN TIME!!!! KANAE IS CRAZY COMMITED LIKE 😭 THERE WERE PPL HAVING DINNER, GOING TO BED, WAKING UP, EATING BREAKFAST, GOING TO WORK, TAKING THEIR LUNCH BREAK AND BRO WAS STILL STREAMINGFG?????

i was so glad to be there live…

IN THE SECOND CLIP SPECIFICALLY, I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT HE COULD JUST DRIVE OFF LIKE THAT 😭 it probably sounds weird but i always find myself clinging to people on online games like that!?!??!? i get so upset if they leave me -w- is that a bpd thing or me just being weird

HES SO CHILL AND NORMAL AND FUNNY AND WHAAA??? I WANNA BE LIKE HIM!!!! (except im too mentally ill for that)

I HAVE SO MUCH FANART OF HIM SAVED ON PINTEREST,,,,,,,,,

OK NEXT IS MEME MASHIRO!!!! HES ALSO FROM NIJISANJI!!!!

THIS GUY HAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE COVERS OF ALL TIME THAT EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT LISTENING TO GOOD MUSIC NEEDS TO LISTEN TO: https://youtu.be/m79OrSy03rs?si=LCjVTRqUymGs50R0

HIS LORE IS BASED OFF THIS SONG!! and even outside of his lore, he actually has a pretty depressing background, he’s talked somewhat abt his toxic family, being bullied by teachers, etcetc, which makes him feel really real and relatable. im so happy that he gets to be happy doing this now!!! >_<

he mostly does horror streams!! even tho i cant handle horror they’re pretty fun hehe

TUMBLR WONT LET ME POST ANY MORE VIDEO LINKS BUT I WILL REBLOG THIS AND FOLLOW UP

ONE OF MY FAV MASHIRO CLIPS ^

im kind of hyperfixated on these guys rn especially holostars >_< they make me so happy and i will absolutely fucking BAWL my eyes out whenever any of them inevitably graduate (quit streaming)

[moonjxsung]

STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3

(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)

I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.

(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)

It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶

(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)

[kienansidhe]

hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural