#its becoming a vocal stim i hate it

[beegswaz]

for what purpose! for what purpose!!!

[katy-133]

Rick Sanchez Showing Signs of ASD for 30 Images

(Re-posting this from a previous reblog I posted in. For organisational purposes.)

(Using some notes from CDC.gov and NHS.uk)

“People with [autism spectrum disorder (ASD)] often have problems with social communication and interaction, and restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. People with ASD may also have different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention. It is important to note that some people without ASD might also have some of these symptoms.” - Signs and Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder, CDC.gov

Similar to the above quote, some of the below examples can be explained through Doylist (meta) explanations (for example, Rick usually wears the same clothes because that's a common trope in animation, due to asset limitations and marketing/merchandise reasons).

With that in mind:

Bad sensory, overstimulation: Rick preferring to eat just noodles (possibly due to texture/taste aversion), instead of having what everyone else in the family is having.

Getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close: Rick pushing Morty away when Morty runs up to hug him.

Stimming (repetitive performance of certain physical movements or vocalisations) by moving his fists in a celebratory shaking motion in multiple episodes.

Gets upset by minor changes. Rick getting mad at Morty for changing the position of his car seat, refusing to leave a dangerous situation until it's re-adjusted.

Rick: "Wait, did you f**k with my seat settings?!"

Having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes: Rick being upset that Morty is busy and can't go on an adventure with him (like in a typical episode).

Gastrointestinal issues (for example, constipation). An episode focuses on Rick needing to go to a custom planet (that felt safe and secluded) to use the toilet and feeling great distress upon learning that someone else found the planet.

Has a safe food that is seeked out for comfort. Rick likes wafers. He's seen getting them from the kitchen in multiple episodes, Beth makes sure the house is stocked with them, and the Citadel of Ricks even has its own factory to produce them.

Referencing good sensory: Rick talking in detail about pancakes covered in syrup, not wanting the pancakes to go bad.

Rick: "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste. And I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top!"

And Rick enjoying pancakes in S1E10 and S4E2:

Has obsessive interests. Rick becoming hyper-focused on giant mecha collecting and Morty reminding him to not go overboard on his new hyperfixation.

Morty: "Sometimes, enough is... ?" Rick: (Sadly) "Sometimes enough is enough."

Liking to plan things carefully before doing them: Rick keeping various helpful inventions in his lab coat just in case he needs them later (Vindicators episode).

Infodumping (to excitedly share a large amount of information about a highly-focused subject or passion at one time, usually in great detail and length).

Finding it hard to talk about feelings: Rick having hesitation in apologising and explaining his thoughts and feelings to Jerry.

Rick: "If I'm genuinely cool, I should be able to love you. Which I... therefore do."

Avoids or does not keep eye contact: Rick looking away or breaking eye contact with Morty. Image set of Morty calling him out:

Rick breaking eye contact while lying to Morty:

Having a preferred outfit to wear each day (can be cause of sensory issues). Rick wearing the same blue shirt for over 40 years (we see in flashbacks that it was brighter and has faded with time).

Unusual speech patterns, such as stuttering. Rick's stuttering decreases as seasons progress.

Vocal stimming (when someone repeats a specific sound or phrase to produce sensory stimulation). Some autistic children find it easier to make up their own words. Rick repeatedly saying, "wubba lubba dub dub." He will also repeat his own words (echolalia) immediately afterwards.

Delay edecholalia, scripting (when someone "saves" exact phrases and uses them later to make social situations easier). Rick (in The Ricks Must Be Crazy) remembers Morty's comment, "that just sounds like slavery with extra steps" and uses it later to try and win an argument with another scientist.

Not picking up social cues, finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling. Rick making a joke and then realising the other person is in too much distress to laugh with him (has done this with both Morty and Jerry).

Rick: "You're not laughing?" (Expression changes upon realising) "Oh, right. You're dying."

Unconventional grief response, "inappropriate" facial expressions, lack of fear: Rick reacting to burying himself in a less uneasy way than Morty.

"To the point" style of social interaction. Rick often speaks bluntly and is seen as rude by other characters in response.

Rick: "Everyone, f**k off. Morty, I need your help."

Has a terrible memory but can remember ridiculously difficult information if it interests him. Rick forgets his portal gun and leaves it behind, but can remember the formula for various chemical reactions without using a reference (ending of M.Night Shaym-Aliens!).

And finally...

President Curtis referencing Rick's neurodivergency:

Rick's comment:

Rick: "I'm not touching that thing,"

Rick finding a roundabout way to let Morty know that he (Rick) also has ASD:

Rick: "Is this game popular with autistic people?" Morty: "Why would you say something like that?" Rick: "Because I'm starting to love it."

Wish I could have added more examples, but 30 images is Tumblr's current post limit.

(I understand that the potential meme joke by OP is that the "NOT YOU" image is of Rick from season 1, versus his markedly changed characterisation in season 5-onwards, that focused more on coding Rick as neurodivergent.)

I hope this has been in some part educational for a few readers. Happy Autism Acceptance Month.

But now for the disclaimer bit: Don't take it from me, learn more about ASD.

[billboard-hotties-tourney]

I just wanted to reassure people about the stress around moral superiority around autism, cos it seemed like some people were feeling genuinely bad

the only propaganda that was submitted in the OP for that individual was literally the word autism so i think ppl prolly felt like they were playing into a joke that op made?

like, obvi the submission for the other person was more passionate and included more details - and this is out of your hands as the person who's taking submissions, putting them in a randomizer and doing hard work compiling, tracking and posting everything - but the contrast between the two becomes funny

referring to this individual as a funky autistic man is a pretty common meme in the autism and new wave communities (and the considerable ven diagram overlap therein), and it's likely the submission was made by an autistic person - but at the same time part of what makes that individual attractive is the way he's so unapologetically himself, and the way that manifests is in how he dances, moves, talks and sings - in a way that people call weird but in a way that a lot of autistic people have done in the privacy of our own spaces - even been shamed for if we do it publically. some of the ways he sings is really reminiscent of a lot of vocal stimming for a lot of folks, for example, and his more jittery movements are very relatable so the autism is both a bit of a meme, but also a way that we feel seen - and that individual being (almost certainly) autistic and mainsteam people knowing about it and valuing him and finding him attractive and talented is a source of pride/hope in a lot of ways. There's many musicians, especially in alternate scenes like postpunk/new wave who seem pretty autistic to a practiced eye, but this individual has actually discussed the way he relates to that experience. i understand how, without that context, one could be genuinely worried that people believed that if you didn't vote for him you're abelist - but i really think that it's more of a lack of communication/understanding about how this is joked about in the relevant community, if that makes sense like, no-ones genuinally tracking down who voted for what and taking u to task for it. it's fundamentally a contest about who's hotter, and for some people this particular individual being [likely] autistic is relevant and makes him hotter - in the same way one might find an individual hotter if you enjoy or relate to their music, even if the person they're versed up against is objectively more attractive (if attraction can even be measured objectively, free of social practices/norms!) - and the fact that the only piece of propaganda was the word autism means that if you don't vote for him it must be because you hate the only thing that was mentioned about him is funny because it's so ott, but also cathartic for autistic people to joke about because so many of us have experienced hatred due to having autism. it's nice for that to be something funny and relevant in a real but also absurdist sort of way its very liberating, honestly, for an autistic person to be considered hot (being so often infantilised), so its this sense of pride in it too i guess - it can be okay to move in the world in a way that doesnt hurt and isnt tiring and brings you joy, and not only okay and normal but even desirable i hope this makes sense, i just wanted to reassure people that no-ones actually making a moral judgement, it is a meme but there's also something serious there too and it just seems like a joke that's not translating between communities i appreciate all the work that you've put into this tourney!!!! it's been very fun and i'm excited to keep on voting!

I was so worried when I saw such a long ask, but honestly, very well-put. Glad you're excited to participate!

[nqn]

For the send a character:3€ : Butters

favorite thing about them: the genuine childlike wonder that butters has is like. fascinating to me. you live in South Park, and you still manage to have so much whimsy even when its constantly trying to get forcibly beaten out of you every week??? you are so strong. i love you. i think that a therapist in another town could help.

least favorite thing about them: the misogyny :( please stop hating women

favorite line: anything where theyre singing 'loo loo loo i've got some apples' because it is a brainworm and something i have to try not to let become a vocal stim. ALTERNATIVELY. is butters barking in good times with weapons because that one IS one of my vocal stims.

brOTP: bunny!!!!!!

OTP: sorry for my rarepair. its butters/tweek i'm ill. i have no reason for this other than i got really attached to headcanoning with friends ten years ago and i've been ride or die ever since

nOTP: honestlyyy idk?? like butters is versatile enough i think anything could work if you really wanted it to and i'm not someone who prides myself in disliking ships

random headcanon: has texture stims and sensory processing problems, but is obsessed with physical crafts so keeps powering through Bad Texture Times because hes triyng to make something and is too excited about the project. god he hates the feeling and sound of aluminum foil, but damned if it doesn't look cool (to him) once its crafted

unpopular opinion: i dont like when ppl boil marjorine down into a one note character who is just there to be kennys arm candy it makes me rlly sad

song i associate with them: i have to get back to you on this one i don't actually think i have any songs off the top of my head thatre butters coded and that is a DAMN SHAME

favorite picture of them: t,the hand thing. the stimmy.

[c0tards--s0luti0n]

ifucking hate vocal stims like can someone PLEASE explain why i cant stop Oh my god is that freddy fasbear ❓️ har har har har har harhar har har harrrr its becoming a fucking problem

[starbeans-cafe]

Mario and Dr Mario differences headcanons (+slight general doc hcs)

-Full disclosure, the two of them aren’t related. They’re the same person from different universes

-Due to their names being the same, everyone just calls Mario, yknow, Mario, whilst They refer to doctor Mario as either Doc, or just doctor.

——people around them tried finding out anything else to call doc, so they tried using his middle name, which also happens to be Mario.

——whilst talking about the other, Doc just calls Mario "the plumber".

-Doc is slightly shorter than Mario (he’s 5'0, Mario is 5'1), its nearly unnoticeable, but Mario’s hat doesnt do doc any favors.

-Doc has a couple gray hairs (due to stress) and in general just seems old; he tries playing off that he’s just very mature but it’s clear it’s a bit embarrassing for him

-On a similar note, Doc and Mario aren’t the same ages. Doc is exactly one year older than Mario.

——-another similar note, Docs Luigi isnt his twin, but his younger brother by two years.

-Whilst Mario has the resting :) face, doc just looks SO upset all of the time (it’s the autism. For both of them).

—-this is also reflected in their personalities, Doc is much more cranky and a lot more rude. This is because he always wants some kind distance from people and is very nervous about opening up.

-Mario grew up in Italy and moved to the US at an early age, whilst doc grew up in the US and moved to Italy at an early age, which resulted in him being a lot more comfortable with speaking English than Mario is.

-Mario is nonverbal in most cases, whilst only becoming somewhat verbal in stressful scenarios or with people Hes incredibly comfortable with. Doc on the other hand is verbal usually, but becomes nonverbal in stressful scenarios.

-Mario is the "I need sound or else I cant function" AuDHD, whilst Doc is the "if there is one sound too much im going to go ballistic" AuDHD

-whilst Mario is great with kids and is basically every kids uncle the second he meets them, Doc definitely does not. He thinks they’re too loud, icky, etc. he tries his best to be nice to them though.

-Whilst Mario falls asleep within seconds, Doc often has way too much trouble sleeping at night.

-Doc always ALWAYS wears his jacket, or at least something akin to it. Even if the weather doesn’t allow for it, he wears the jacket anyway.

-Mario’s favorite season is summer, whilst doc absolutely hates it and much prefers winter.

-Docs gloves aren’t hospital gear or anything like that, he has em so he doesn’t need to touch anything with his bare hands (#sensoryAvoidantMoment)

-Doc always needs to grab onto something, it usually ends up being his chin or pills he keeps stored.

-Doc is definitely not a real doctor. He has a doctorate but definitely none of the medical variety; he’s a nurse at best.

——on the same topic, he faked his medical license. Everyone knows this but he’s never gonna admit to it.

-Docs stims are much more physical, as a opposed to Mario’s vocal stims.

-As opposed to Mario and Peach, Doc and nurse Toadstool don’t have any romantic chemistry. He sees her more as a sister than anything

[enthblaze]

Good morning (or afternoon or evening or whatever but for me it's morning), here is an incoherent list of facts about Roselyn Althea Jones because I feel like gushing about her (list is subject to be added to):

- One of her go-to vocal stims is Baby Girl. The only way you are safe from being called Baby Girl by her is if you make it explicitly clear that you are uncomfortable with it.

- She is a Barbie girlie first and a person second. One of her most treasured childhood memories is finding a handwritten note from Barbie herself on top of the DVD cases with her most beloved Barbie movies, Princess and the Pauper (aka the Best Barbie Movie Ever) and Magic of the Pegasus (Barbie Comfort Movie number 1 of 4), with brand new DVDs inside because the old ones got so worn out they no longer played.

- She doesn't know what the fuck her gender is outside of the concept of pink.

- Her pronouns are she/her and pink/pinks! She usually uses she, but somedays prefers pink.

- She cried the first time she played Undertale. The first time the line "Despite everything, it's still you" came on screen, she had to physically put the controller down and put her head in her hands.

- She enjoys experimenting with eye makeup! She has yet to find a foundation that doesn't set off her sensory issues, let alone contour or concealer, so she's stuck with elaborate eyeshadow and eye art, which she's cool with.

- In a similar vein, she hates the feeling of Casey's facepaint. There's a super sick selfie of Rose and Casey with Casey's facepaint on, Rose's facepaint was photoshopped on. She despises the feeling of it, she can't even look at the containers for too long.

- She's autistic, and got diagnosed at fifteen.

- Pink owns several different pairs of rollerskates because they look pretty. Pink's better on rollerskates than pink is on the ice.

- She hates being cold.

- In addition to being a Barbie girlie, she's also an MCYT girlie! Her favorite youtubers are Shubble, LDShadowlady, and Markiplier.

- She is astoundingly good at learning languages.

- Pinks hair is long and curly and pink adores taking care of it. Seeing pinks curls be pretty and healthy makes pink happy stim from just a glance in a mirror.

- She jumpscares so. easily.

- She gets bitey, sometimes. Like she'll see a stray finger and the impulsive thoughts will win and she'll go *chomp*. *bite*. *attaka* even.

- *Slaps roof of car except its Rose and I accidentally knock her headphones off her head* This baby can hold So Much Rage In Her.

- Her brain is playing music At All Times and if she doesn't like the music her brain is providing her, she will blast different music through her headphones. It might be loud enough to give her hearing damage later down the line, but if she can't feel it rumbling through her bones than what the fuck is the point?

- Somehow, she has gotten several girls at school to crush on her without even trying. She has no idea how, and it drives Casey insane.

- When pinks emotions get really overwhelming, pinks magic will have what pinks family calls 'fits," in that she will inadvertently make things start to float and glow or pinks big emotion will literally be emanating off her.

- She hates eye contact.

- She and Casey have stupid nicknames for each other; Casey calls her Freckles, Rose calls him Bandana.

- Her most common nickname is either Rose or Ro.

- She once threatened to stab her brother if he made her fuck up her eyeliner.

- Pink and Casey have an elaborate handshake that ends with them bonking their heads together.

- Pink can do a *killer* winged eyeliner, but she has to use eyeliner pencils directly on her skin cause liquid eyeliner squicks her out, but she can handle liquid eyeliner *overtop* of pencil eyeliner.

- She once hotwired a motorcycle and stole it from the Purple Dragons, that thing has become her pride and joy and she keeps her stolen prize at her dad's mechanic shop because he's teaching her how to take care of it.

- Rose and Casey are known to unceremoniously and unexpectedly smacking the shit out of each other with pillows. The Cain Instinct is. So strong with these two.

- Casey is her favorite person.

- Despite what her grades may say, she does actually enjoy learning new things.

- Her best classes are dance, choir, and whatever language class she's taking (she's working on her third language credit).

- "You can't handle the uber instincts of my uber autism. Observe." *fails to flirt with her autistic crush*. /ref

- Her vocal range is fucking *insane*, she can go up to whistle notes and down to low tenor. Bass is where she has to draw the line tho :/

She's so baby girl, I love her sm <3

Also!! Food for thought!! What would Giovanni think of Rose? 👀 Or, whats your favorite little fact (or facts) about Vanni?

stop...if i didnt already love Rose before- THEN I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER NOW

omg SHES AN LDSHADOWLADY STAN?? QUEEN SHIT !!! LOVE HER FOR THAT

AND AUTISTIC??? pink and i are the same fr fr,,,like how did u make it possible to make a charactee so lovable?? i will give my life for pink

oh i am gladly taking all this info and shelving it for later, i love little details about characters, they make me so happie

as for Vanni...he's more so curious about her as to wary. Rose, i think, would intrigue him, but i think they'd be quite good friends

i will say tho, i think Van would be a bit intimidated at first lmao but then he'd find her pretty fun and honestly? they'd be a chaotic duo

Van doesn't often break out of his responsible "eldest brother" role but Rose would deffo get him to loosen up a little

AND FAVE FACT!!!

Van is semi-verbal !!! (projecting onto my boy fr) as he grew up, he got better at handling it and now often appears to communicate pretty well, but there's days where speaking is a little too hard and communicating comes to a standstill

as tots, the boys and Splinter learnt sign language to help Van during those days, and during the farmhouse arc, it became a common form of communication bcs Leo had to rest his throat as well

Casey & April also learnt sign language, simply bcs it would make their lives so much easier, and also bcs whispering during missions wasn't always the best way to go about things. being silent was an important part of being a ninja, after all

[the1nonlycannoli]

I really hate to say this, but having two autistic siblings can really suck sometimes. The 12yro is super clingy, needs help with almost everything, and becomes violent during meltdowns. The 14yro goes nonverbal a lot, needs lots of validation, and goes on hour long walks when angry. They both primarily use vocal stims such as "meêk". They rarely get along and when mad at eachother get very physically aggressive with eachother. Its so tiring having to break up fights, calm down meltdowns, perfect my tone, supervise chores, tuck in the 12 yro, make them take showers, and so on.

I love them to peices and get along with them many times, but its very draining having them as siblings or almost as children of my own.

[clueingforbeggs]

I think one of the things which really draws me to DS9 is its presentation of the Federation. In TOS and TNG, the Federation is this utopian society where everything's good, and you only get a few bad eggs within the Federation, all the conflict, all the 'evil', comes from outside.

That was actually a stipulation in (early, I think) TNG, that the characters couldn't have conflicts between them. Conflict is a part of life, and no matter how much society progresses, there are still going to be individual conflicts. Someone won't know something's offensive, the new ensign was singing a song which triggers the commander who lost their wife who loved that song, someone stims vocally and overstimulates another crewmember. Something would come up.

DS9 comes straight in with 'This is Sisko, he hates Picard.' Interpersonal conflict. DS9 introduces Section 31, which I think was great because it's like... The Federation is much better than today's world but it's still flawed, and the way it was handled then? Perfect.

But that energy kinda got lost. Voyager makes its way back home from far beyond the Federations reach. America is the victim of a terrorist attack, forever influencing American media like Star Trek. Enterprise is released, where there's no Federation, but there's lots of 'We're good, it's Them who are bad.' ('Them' being aliens. Vulcans, Andorians, Tellarites, especially the 'Nooo series 3 isn't a war on terror metaphor!' Xindi.) in that, still. Humanity 'civilises' the species that become part of the Federation. The Vulcans might be an advanced civilisation but come on, look at them! They're at war with the Andorians, and they're at war with themselves in the background. They withhold medical care from people who had mind melds gone wrong. Humanity re-introduces them to their own culture and then brings them and the Andorians together.

And then it all... Stopped. Enterprise was cancelled, and the next Star Trek to be released would release years later.

DS9 was the only classic Trek which, IMO, made the Federation a nuanced, not-just-good-but-still-better, society. Humanity and friends may have 'moved past' things, but they still come up. The utopian Federation is held up by the immoral Section 31. Which there are some notes of in S4 of Enterprise. Man, they cancelled that show just as it was getting good.

And then, Discovery S2 happened and made Section 31 an open part of the Federation, which everyone reported to, and which was only bad because of an AI. Us vs them. 'Them' being technology.

Much as I like most of that series of DSC, that wasn't a good move.

You can resolve it, I think. Have S31 go underground, mutate into what it was in DS9. That's what I'm doing in my fanfic, at least. But outside of DS9 and its portrayal of S31, if you want your Federation to be, to use the description I've just written for it in said fanfic, 'A utopian facade over a flawed society', you really need to look for beta canon.

[princesscyr-fn]

Brothers x Autistic! MC Tidbits/Headcanons

I figured I’d do one as I’m autistic and I wanna be included in things. At the same time however, autism is a spectrum and each of us experience different behaviors and such. As such, each MC for each brother is different so everyone feels included! These are meant to be platonic but you can interpret this however you want. I’m asexual so writing actual romantic stuff makes me very uncomfortable lol.

|Masterlist is here|

MC is gender neutral, yall

Available on Ao3, Wattpad

Lucifer

♡ Clashing with one another from the get go. ♡ Lucifer tends to criticize you, and its mostly unintentional. He’s just looking out for you, though his pride prevents him from admitting that he cares about you. ♡ One day though, the usual comment that falls from his lips about you ends up making you snap. As a result, you are calling him every name under the blocked sun in the Devildom. (Satan LOVES this.) This is when Lucifer realizes he made a fucky wucky. (Thanks @error-code-606 lmao) ♡ Lucifer gets a super harsh reality check from Satan, reminding him that you are autistic and that constant put-downs is bad for a persons self-esteem/image issues. For once, pride feels guilt bubbling in his gut. ♡ From then on, Lucifer is more mindful of how he words his issues with you. (Still staying blunt, which you appreciate.) All the while he praises you from time to time for all the good stuff you’ve done thus far. ♡ Lucifer would keep mental notes of all your stims and triggers. ♡ Entertains stim toys and isn’t bothered by such as he tries to work. ♡ Lucifer would play soothing music for you, mostly classical or easy listening. Something to tingle your sensory. ♡ He stops your meltdowns before you could fully lose control of yourself. ♡ Soft hands are your weakness and Lucifer’s hands don’t disappoint. He’ll let you hold his hands anytime you desire. ♡ Lucifer's office is the best spot for you to have quiet time. ♡ You can talk his ear off and he would love every second of it, deep down.

Mammon

♡ He was quick to pick up on your behaviors before you could push him away. ♡ He is able to joke with you, both of you laughing like hyenas all the way. ♡ Mammon would never make fun of your stutter or mispronunciation of words. He’s patient and tries his best to help you. He absolutely hates when the other demons (not his brothers) make fun of you for something you have no control over. ♡ Both of you would find comfort in each other. ♡ You would absolutely adore his hair. Being a fan of bright colors and his hair being as white as angel wings. Bless his heart, he will allow you to play with it while denying how much he likes it. ♡ He knows the sound of coins is one of your favorite sounds sensory wise. He always makes sure to have some coins on him. ♡ Mammon would remember all of your fixations and then try to shower you in gifts relevant to your current likes. ♡ He loves music and will sing with you no matter how goofy you both sound. ♡ Late night Hell’s Kitchen runs are mandatory. ♡ You are the only person he would try so hard not to steal from. (He’d fail miserably and just keep your stuff instead of selling it.) ♡ Class would be hilarious with him, he’s a class clown. ♡ While he may be a class clown, I think he would somewhat try a bit harder on his work because you encourage him to do his best every single day.

Leviathan

♡ Things between the two of you are tense at first as both of you are socially awkward and standoffish. ♡ Though once you’re both comfortable, you will talk each others ears off about anime, video games, and everything under the blocked sun of the Devildom. ♡ You two will develop a secret language that the other brothers won’t understand. Imagine all that shit talk. ♡ You’re both stimmers! While Levi has physical and vocal stims, yours are mostly vocal with the occasional twitch and thigh slap. ♡ You both are major plushie enthusiasts. Prove me wrong. (You can’t.) ♡ Eye contact is difficult to maintain between the two of you, with both of you either yelping, blushing, and looking away while sputtering nonsense. ♡ Mention your love or interest in aquatic life or the sea and watch him fall in love with you, (he’s a sea monster, duh) though he will deny it smh. ♡ You both share a love for slime and will buy a lo of it on your trips to the human world. (When you two feel like doing things like that.) ♡ Levi will most certainly dress as a cat maid so long as you do it too. ♡ Stim games are 100% your favorite games to play with him. (Minecraft, Terraria, Fortnite, No Mans Sky...) ♡ Levi figures out that the sound of the ocean soothes you, and will imitate the sounds in his fish tanks to help you relax. ♡ You two make the best cosplay duo. No question about it.

Satan

♡ He is more understanding than you were led to believe. (Shame on you, Lucifer.) You avoided him at first until you found yourself in a heated debate with him regarding human world fauna kingdom. This conversation, though heated, gave you the chance to actually talk to him. It was then the realization hit that Lucifer intentionally kept you two apart. ♡ You two end up becoming close friends. ♡ You hate reading alone as its not engaging and gets boring quickly. So you tell Satan that you would like for him to read to you, which he’d accept without a second thought. ♡ He would remember your likes and dislikes. He would always encourage you to talk about your latest obsession. He’s always interested in hearing about what you have to say. ♡ Jingle cat ears. No explanation needed. (Might dress up as a cat maid with you and Levi, tho.) ♡ He would learn all your stims and triggers so he can help you when you need it. ♡ If you’re the artsy type, you bet he will learn all the crafts for you. ♡ The sound of turning pages satisfies your sound sensory. ♡ Nature walks, lots of them. Quiet moments together means the world to the two of you. ♡ Occasionally you fall asleep next to him as he reads to you. His voice is soothing enough to lull you to sleep. ♡ You two are so close in fact, he rubs it in Lucifer's face. ♡ Satan always finds himself holding your hand whenever you two go out to crowded public places.

Asmodeus

♡ Physical contact wasn’t your thing until you met the avatar of lust. ♡ He took it personally at first when you would stand awkwardly whenever he hugged you or how you would pull your hand away when he would try to hold it. ♡ Once you explain that you are autistic and physical contact was a weird subject for you, he is quick to understand. After all, he is all about consent and wanted to make sure you were comfortable. ♡ Friendship blossoms between the two of you quickly and smoothly. ♡ Asmo would help you with being more extroverted by inviting you to parties. ♡ He would make note of your stims and to satisfy your sensory, he would buy lotions and perfumes. ♡ Getting your nails done is fun and Asmo is perfect for that task. ♡ You have a best friend who will listen to you intently and give you good advice. ♡ Going shopping is less nerve wracking with him. Plus he would give you fashion tips so you can look and feel your best. ♡ The first time you gave him a hug on your own, he wept tears of joy. ♡ Spa days are mandatory. ♡ There is a love between the two of you that does not require a relationship to be valid.

Beelzebub

♡ Beel warmed up to you quickly, especially when he witnesses your appetite at dinner. ♡ He is always curious and asking you questions to better understand you. ♡ You are quick to share your food with him and vice versa. ♡ Eating competitions, though you would lose to him always, unless if he was going easy on you. (Good luck, chief) ♡ Playful and friendly flirting/banter. ♡ Beel would be interested in whatever you obsess with that week. ♡ He is patient with you and doesn’t judge you for things you have no control over. ♡ Includes you in all family activities because hes all about family first. ♡ You two will gush to each other about any and everything. ♡ Hell’s Kitchen dates? Fuck yeah. Those are mandatory. ♡ Though you are picky in terms of texture, Beel would gladly eat whatever food you won’t. ♡ You aren’t a very active person, but that will change with Beel. Eat first, then run it off, human.

Belphegor:

♡ Warmed up to you quickly despite killing you, mainly because you forgave him and still treated him with kindness despite the fact. (Simp *cough* *cough*) ♡ He is very understanding in regards to your sensory, stims, and meltdowns. ♡ Loves laying in silence with you (and vice versa) ♡ Belphie would show you constellations with his magic to help you sleep. ♡ Slime? You bet Belphie would be as entertained as you are on that subject. Cloud slime would be one of his favorites. ♡ You two communicate with each other better in silence. ♡ He would share his cow pillow with you. ♡ Your sensory craves anything that is soft. Belphie would be surprised at first when you mindlessly play with his hair as you lay together. ♡ Your troubling dreams became a little more peaceful with Belphie at your side. ♡ Both of you are big plushie enthusiasts and have a plushie club hangout spot with Levi. ♡ Belphies voice does satisfy your sensory. ♡ Tea time is a fun activity between the two of you. It leads to good naps as well.

[foryouthegays]

Developing the Syndicate (PLUSHIES DROPPED) [Dream SMP] liveblog and summary

Vocal stims go brrr: 53:00, 1:13:10, 1:21:55,

Good laugh: 18:05 (not when the laugh is, but the joke also made me laugh so), 23:00, 53:50

Technoyell 😳: 0:35

Other: 10:50 XD, 1:12:45 OwO,

Summary:

Techno starts the stream in his house. He talks about his new second monitor, and his new plushies. He watches Ranboo walk around the area, and explains his plans for the stream. He wants to work on the Syndicate and get curse of vanishing books.

He hears someone opening his chests, and finds Ranboo outside. He broke the walls of the house to look through the chests. Techno chases him back into the house, and finds Tommy in the box.

They join a call together, and Tommy explains that he’s going against Dream tomorrow, and that he might die. He leaves the VC and Techno goes back to see what he took. He also mentions that he doesn’t think anyone else can hear the voices (chat).

Techno goes to talk to Ranboo, and gives him two Ender Eyes, which were named ‘Ranboos Eyes.’ Ranboo thanks him, and gives him a stack of cookies in return. They use the sellout timer for the plushies, and talk about how fast they sold out. Techno shows Ranboo the polar bear he found, and they laugh about Tommyinnit for a while.

Techno names the bear Steve, and then they go to the turtle farm. Techno loses Toby, but they find more polar bears to bring back to the house.

After reading donations, Techno leaves Ranboo to find someone. Once outside of the Nether, Techno finds Eggpire propaganda posters and is extremely confused. He eventually messages Niki, and she tells him where she is. He makes his way over, and finds Niki in an underground base. Techno tries to convince her to join the Syndicate, but she says she’s working on revenge, and asks for a few days. Techno agrees, leaves, and goes to the Nether, where he spends several minutes looking for a warped forest biome to finish the table. He finds it, decorates the meeting room for a few minutes, and then ends the stream.

Liveblog:

Guys this is such a simp-y thing to say but u know the sound techno makes when hes stretching? Yea h

1:20TECHNO GOT A SECOND MONITOR POGGGGG

I hate asmr but technos keyboard,,,hghgn (4 mins in)

ExcuSE ME RANBOO??? WHY R U ROBBING TECHNO ALSODKJFJAKHD

My favorite part of techno tommy interactions is how their characters hate each other but u can HEAR techno smiling and laughing when hes talking to tommy its great

Tommy n techno r on different ends of the same spectrum but i have NO idea what that spectrum is. Someone help

I want a technoplushie :(

I will never get over techno makin fun of his viewers its great

AALSKDKFJJAH THE PLANE WENT OUT OF STOCK IN LIKE TWO MINUTES HES SO POWERFUL

Ive mentioned the plushies to my mom so many times plssss as if i want one cmon

I love techno n ranboo makin fun of tommy. Honestly they just Vibe n love them

35:15 ‘he turned into a piglin with like, full prot 4 netherite’ uhhh is that technos backstory? Normal pig got pushed into the nether and ended up becoming a piglin?

43:30 ‘its not impressive….but its uh,,, its pressive’ ????

53:45 alkaskfjah that laugh,,,

Techno explainin that he has stabbing power, not institutional power,,,,hell yeah

1:08:55 ‘im the human gps,,,i am never lost’ [leaves vc] ‘chat i have no idea where i am i am so lost’

‘Technoblades become a marketable plushie, phil, its fantastic!’ Hhgn ik he means the plushie but like,,,,enbyctechno brainrot says it/its ctechno,,,,

[solarsleepless]

Asking for special fingers to write me down some headcannons for asd!puffy, adhd!niki and adhd!techno

I am begging ur magic fingers sir please

you've come to the right place (ma'am? sir? ma'am i think correct me if i'm wrong)

plus cc!techno has adhd so this should be fun

okay so

techno always knew he was more different, the way he seemed to be more fixated on fighting then gold

he would glare at someone if they offered him gold then slashed with his sword

most the people he killed were idiots, but he respected good fights

then he saw philza, attacking wither skeletons. his fighting style was so good and he was clearly experienced and techno watched him in awe

but when phil started to lose the fight, techno stepped in to kill the remaining wither skeletons

they became good friends (as you well know) and since phil has lived for an indefinite amount of time and piglins grow up slower physically, which made a lot of people underestimate him

sorry this is just becoming techno meeting phil headcanons

techno never knew what the term for being different was

and once again, was in awe when phil sat him down and explained what ADHD was

after that, they started developing their own stim toys, and discovered that techno mainly likes chewlery

he has a few vocal stims: "hallooo" "weeeeeee" among others

he doesnt have many physical ones but he does this weird thing where he spins his arms around to feel the wind on them. weird but pog!

when he moves into Antarctic Empire, he really likes the feeling of snow, so he always keeps a little

anyways onto puffy

i'm going to be a little rusty on ASD since... i dont have ASD (i'm pretty sure anyways) so please tell me if i get anything wrong

puffy knew she was different when she realized she loved the sea more than the land

when she was little, she would make little boats out of branches and see how far it went

when she got old enough, she eventually got enough money to get her own big proper boat

texture go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (she loves the texture of wood)

there was only one food she didn't allow on the ship and that's paella (look it up if you dont know what it means). she just hates it and has no idea why. it just does not feel good the way grass does

speaking of grass she definitely chews absently that amongst other things in her spare time, sometimes even furniture

she hates the sound of chewing. like she always eats alone cause someone chewing just makes her upset for no reason

she has met Several People who seemed nice at first but then were ableist so their kneecaps said bye-bye

most of her stims i already explained in Another Post (just keep scrolling in my blog 'Puffy' and you should see it)

anyways onto niki

she was always on the more inattentive side, so people (including herself) never realized she was ADHD

in fact she didnt know until she joined the Syndicate

but it was one of the reasons she and puffy got along so well

she definitely jumps up and down

zones out more than anyone on the server

definitely hyperfixated on L'Manberg (which is why it was so painful to see it explode the first time)

explosions overstimulate her (obviously) which is one of the reasons she goes into her little hidey hole

she hyperfixates on her secret city which makes the time staying there easier but she's still painfully understimulated

once she joins the syndicate after five minutes techno immediately figures out she's ADHD and quietly mentions it to her

and now things made so much more sense

she wasn't just lazy or over-emotional...

OH YEAH THE WHOLE KILLING-TOMMY THING WAS DEFINITELY A HUGE REACTION TO RSD

techno gave her some chewlery, but they found out she preffered the smaller ones so she most of the time she fiddles with the chewlery necklace instead

niki visits even when they dont have a syndicate meeting because she and techno message each other whenever eachother is understimulated or just not hyperfixating

they definitely both hyperfixated on the syndicate meetings

puffy got a huge backlash from RSD thanks to the Red Banquet

y'know with the whole

"It was all your fault Puffy"

and of course couple RSD with a hero complex and youve got yourself a mental breakdown

techno and niki like saying "weeeeeeee" together

it just makes the brain go BRRRRRRr

they also say "brrrrrrrr" when they can

i'm not sure if youve seen but remember that one MCC where HBomb dressed up as an "catboy" maid and got his team to dress up as "catboy" maids?

yeah well niki (i say mcc is canon because its funny. they all just stop whatever war they're doing to play sports) adopted the "BROTHERRRRRRRRR!!" stim from that

i dont have any other hcs

uhhh

OH yeah in physical stims niki doesn't have many but she still

does a lil' dance when she's happy

same with puffy actually!!

well i hope you enjoyed it bc its all i got

[bnha-butterfly]

Maybe some more of your autistic bakugou hc if your up to it

I don’t think you know how ready I am to scream about Autistic!Bakugou at any given moment. That being said buckle up cus Autistic Baku lives in my head rent free.

 First let me just direct you to THIS post cus its just perfect and highlights some of the reasons I think Bakugou is on the spectrum.

I genuinely think that Katsuki suffers from some form of prosopagnosia which is why he never really calls people by their names

When he gets overstimulated and his system goes into fight or flight to almost always choses fight. Which is which is when you’ll get his seemingly random burst of anger

Vocal,  auditory and tactile stims!! 

Probably has like 20 different chewables in his room cus he’s an aggressive chewer when he stims.

Refuses to be seen with a stim toy so he only uses them in the comfort of his own room.

He hums. He rubs his knuckles against his thigh slowly with even pressure. He’ll bite on his fingers if he’s out of he comfort of his room.

He thinks Kiri and Sero have really nice voices. They almost never fail to sort of calm him down.

Definitely has echolalia and when he was younger he had to teach himself to avoid words that trigger it. 

He’s not super adverse to scent. He actually has a lot of scents he likes. Especially the scents of his favorite people. He finds them grounding and comforting and he can just get sucked into a trance.

HE HATES SLIMY THINGS

Like they make him want to gag

He’s 95% touch adverse and will go out of his way to not touch someone

He has to initiate the physical contact

HATES LIGHT TOUCHES. If your gonna touch him it has to have a certain amount of pressure behind it. 

He’s incredibly schedule oriented. But, prefers to block out his day as opposed to schedule every second of his day. He used to have his days planned down to the minute but switched to blocking when he realized he’s gonna have to be more flexible when he becomes a hero. 

Hyper fixated on being the #1 hero. 

All Might is his special interest and has accidently info dumped on Kirishima once. (Neither speak about the time this happened)

He doesn’t mask in terms of his blunt and kind of curt way of talking but does when it comes to “acting autistic”

Extremely observant of the things that tend to be happening around him because that minimizes the chances of him being caught off guard. He knows all of the gossip in the school because people never pay attention to whos around them when they gossip. 

He has learned the mannerisms of the entire bakusquad. 

Meltdowns for him mean him exploding and pushing everyone away from him. Usually followed by a period of him becoming non-verbal.

Shutdowns are harder to catch. He’ll curl in on himself. He won’t talk as much. He’ll avoid touch at all cost, even if its from one of his favorite people. His social battery will be in the negatives so he’ll hold up in his room for super long. He’s semi-verbal and will just fixate on a special interest or one of his current hyper-fixations till he starts to feel better

An: I don’t know if this is what you were expecting when you asked for this but like ngl writing this gave me the boost of serotonin I needed. I love writing about character’s I head cannon as autistic ( and hell do I hc a ton of MHA charaters as on the spectrum)

[frenchie-sottises]

More Skelebros Headcannons.

Thanks to @dont-dimension-it, a lot of you liked my headcannons. Because of it, I decided to write some more. (NOTE: Fellswap Gold Sans and Paps’s nicksnames were switched last time. Paps is Coffee, Sans is Wine.)

Triggers? Just the mention of some phobias.

Papyrus:

- He has his moments of sassiness. - Although he mainly likes children books, he does read some more adult themed books. They’re mainly adventure based. - He saw a bunch of skeleton props in a store once. He didn’t know what to feel about them. - He’s somewhat good at flirting? He has to be in the mood for it, and that’s kind of rare. - Nothing he eats contains any sugar. The last time he consumed sugar, he almost blew a giant hole in the side of Mt. Ebott.

Sans:

- Is actually pretty good on the trombone. He mainly uses it to troll Papyrus though. - Doesn’t like anything child themed when it comes to horror for obvious reasons. - Suffers a pretty bad case of astraphobia, which is the fear of lightning. - Has moments where he falls easily. (In love.) - When he first started to learn how to use his blue attack, he used it on himself and sent himself flying through the entirety of Snowdin. He didn’t get hurt, but he didn’t use it for about a month after that.

Edge:

- He wears a silky black robe cause he knows he’s that sexy. It’s also to spite his brother. - Is so in love with the idea of protecting someone he likes that it can be confused with obsession. (No, this doesn’t include his brother. Don’t bring up that Fontcest shit.) - Has a bad case of trypophobia after seeing what a wasp’s nest looks like. He almost gets physically sick from being exposed to the triggers. - He’s also a germaphobe to the point he sets dirt ablaze. - His racecar bed is basically a Ford Mustang bed. It also functions as a real car.

Red:

- Pretends he hates ketchup, but he secretly likes it. - Also suffers trypophobia. - Has about nine pairs of the same kind of sneaker. - Has tried to imitate his brother’s cackle once, ended in humiliation. - He’s learn to tone down on being vocally violent.

Stretch:

- Unlike most of his lazy counterparts, he actually has a proper bed. - Has a jacket where there’s pockets on the inside, so when he wears it, he stuffs them with random items. Every time he takes out something from them, people joke about him having portals on the inside of his jacket. - Has a beanie that is the same color as his hoodies. He only has it to make jokes with. - He used to wear slippers, but they kept flying off his feet the few times he’s tried to run, so he wears little booties that have a similar appearance to tennis shoes. - When he gets super flustered, and I mean his face being almost entirely orange, he’ll melt any snow that happens to be around him. He’ll also become jelly in some cases while he’s melting the surrounding snow.

Blueberry:

- Is surprisingly flexible despite how his body is structured. - When he really wants something, he’ll make a look that’ll send chills down anyone’s spine. - He can sculpt with pretty much anything that is sturdy enough to stand on its own. - May or may not have an art pad personally crafted by Undyne. - Actually does have some scars from some of his fights. They’re mostly on his ribcage and spine, and they’re pretty sensitive to the touch.

Pup:

- Is a metal fan. - Actually knows some German and can mimic a German accent almost perfectly. - If he’s given the chance, he can be sappy as all hell to someone he personally finds charming. - Sings pretty good when no one’s around. - If he had someone who is able to help him with his addictions, it’s guaranteed that he’ll fall in love hard for that person.

Blackberry:

- Has similar ideas compared to Edge when to comes to protection, but it will turn into obsession at some points. He’s gotten better about this though. - If someone manages to bring out his softer side, a part of him will hate them, but he mostly shows genuine respect for having the patience to pull that off. - Will get horribly flustered if someone tells him that he’s still strong despite his body not showing it. - Can make pretty good beverages. Mainly alcohol-based ones. - Makes a hug sound like a threat.

Slim (Fellswap Red):

- Excellent baker. - Can get excited over nothing and it’s the cutest thing on the planet. - Comes up with some of the sweetest nicknames. - Big cuddlebug. - He’s so soft, someone please protect him.

Bloodberry (Fellswap Red):

- Classy motherfucker. - He sucks at baking most things, but he’s good at baking bread-based dishes. - He has an odd quirk where he wears a golden chain in the spring to summer months, and wears a silver one in the fall and winter months. No one knows why. - Tried eyeliner once, hated it. - Bit of a grammar Nazi, but he does actually bother to try and teach others how and when to use certain words and spellings.

Coffee (Fellswap Gold):

- Drinks coffee that’s as black as his soul.. okay, his soul’s not black, but the coffee still is. The coffee also tends to be chocolate flavored. - When he does talk, he has a little bit of a Russian accent. - Has a strong interest in dragons and other mythological creatures. - Stims a lot due to his autism. - His body reacts in confusion when being touched and doesn’t like it, but deep down, he’s secretly touch starved.

Wine (Fellswap Gold):

- Drinks any wine, but prefers classic red wine. - Has a strong Russian accent. - He will treat someone close, other than his brother, almost like they were his own kid. - He’s not in a situation where he can truly let out how he really feels, so when it’s something he’s passionate about, he winds up either training intensely or stims about it. (It’s usually hand flapping and running.) - He’d be a king no one asked but deserved.

Axe:

- Is someone who doesn’t want to be a part of drama. He prefers the quiet life. - He’s learned to make his own butchering weapons. - The kind of person you wouldn’t really want as a dad.. less you like the idea of someone willing to kill someone who insulted you. - Loves being petted and loved on. - Unlike most of his counterparts, a physical heartbeat can be heard.

Everest:

- Can imitate the whistles that are usually heard in a forest. - Prefers the quiet life. - Suffers phonophobia, which is the fear of loud, especially unwarranted, noises. - Despite his hunched over appearance, he likes being tall. He’s weak, so being tall can be a benefit for him since he can appear intimidating. - His armor is made of literal bone as opposed to the typical metal.

Hope y’all enjoy these!

[anxiously-awaiting]

@brian-david-spillbert I owe u my life for showing interest

also i tried to make them look less same-facey and im actually really liking it tbh

more hcs but with Other Stuff under the cut!

None of them are neurotypical. none of them.

They all have Autism and ADHD, with Lalna also having bipolar bc hey, im already projecting, why not a little more. 

Lalna’s headphones are noise cancelling because he has sensitive hearing, they help him lots when he’s having meltdowns. 

Lalnable is photophobic, or has light sensitivity. He tends to get migraines from sunlight and other bright lights, and the specific tint in his glasses help block out certain wavelengths of light to make it easier on him.

Stimming And Infodumping Is Allowed And Encouraged. 

Lalnable has lots of stim jewelry, mostly rings and bracelets.

Lalna has a chewy necklace, though he doesn’t usually wear it. It’s shaped like a flask!

Five has a collection of those cute squishy animals 

Nano and Lalna are more uh physical stimmers i suppose? They do happy flappies and tap and bounce around and stuff. 

Lalnable avoids eye contact almost entirely, and being forced to make eye contact makes him panicky, especially considering his upbringing. 

Five has echolalia, or will repeat words, both stuff she says or stuff others say. 

Five and Lalnable also vocally stim, Lalnable makes ticking sounds which becomes painfully ironic when he gets his miraculous.

Lalna HATES having tight things around his neck, hence his collar on his supersuit being unzipped slightly. 

Lalnable tends to scratch at himself when he’s having a panic attack or meltdown, and Lalna tends to help him calm down and hold his hands so he doesn’t hurt himself.

yes, thats where his scars come from

Lalnable and Nano have bad fears of the dark

Lalna is very physically affectionate to the other three! 

Five tends to steal the boys’ jackets and hoodies because they’re big on her and Very Comfy

Five toe walks!!! 

They all work at a bakery that Nano owns!! If you ask her, she’ll say its “family run”

Lalnable owns a motorcycle, and he’s actually modified it to be quieter

Nano helps paint the others nails, and she and Lalnable use that time to vent about shitty customers

Lalnable tends to get really bad intrusive thoughts, and he’s not very vocal about it, but it tends to affect his self-confidence a lot and make him feel like a shitty person. Lalna can usually tell when they get bad and he does what he can to help distract him and subtly remind him just because he has Bad Thoughts doesn’t mean he’s a Bad Person

Lalna genuanly HATES brushing his hair, he’s not sure why, its just Bad Feeling

Lalnable tends to get really sleepy when its cold, so when he’s stayed up for three days with no sleep, the others will convince him to watch a movie with them and they’ll sneakily turn the thermostat down and he’s passed tf out in 30 minutes or less. 

[chrysanthemumpink]

Guys I have to tell my story. And if you’re in grad school, please read.

I am getting my PhD in literature and am writing a thesis. My thesis is on disability and black women. I wanted to explore how disability is coded through language and how that specifically works with black womanness.

Anyway, a scholar agrees to chair my thesis. Honestly, they seemed uninterested in the project. But being a young scholar, I felt honored to work with a “titan” in the field. But things started going wrong. The chair hated every idea I had. It started out small, things like “support your argument” but grew into full on challenging my observations. To give an example, I was writing about dementia, neuro divergence and black women. They advised me to get rid of that because it wasn’t neurodivergence OR disability. It was just a “natural product of aging.” But again, I was supposed to trust this scholar. Eventually the language got more vitrolic. They refered to disability as “deformities.” I’ve never once used that word. But after 2 rejected drafts, I was so so desperate to get it right.

I have ADHD and Bipolar disorder. To concentrate to my fullest ability I need to stim. I can carry on without stimming but after so much rejection, I just needed to focus 100%. To stim I just draw squares over and over again. In neat little rows. The chair was vocally disaproved. They told me to “stop doing whatever and focus.” Now if you know anything about stimmimg, when someone says something like that, any ounce of focus is just thrown out the window. I could barely talk because of that. ADHD shut down is real.

But again, I persist. Even after my chair sent me an email saying they “have met undergrads with more passion.” So I sent a third draft. And again, she tears it apart. They accused me of conflating “disabled” with “minority identity.” They boasted about how they knew the aurthor personally and that they would be appaled that disability could be related to prejudice. And a quick note; I DID conflate the disabled identity with minority identites. DISABILITY IS A MINORITY IDENTITY AND I AM WRITING ABOUT HOW THAT INTERSECT WITH BLACK WOMANHOOD.

Here is an excerpt from the many emails.

Ok. so after a couple of visits to the crisis center and a suicide watch, I learned a few things.

First, talk to your friends/cohorts. I should have told them sooner but better late than never. And their very first reaction was No. No one should treat students that way and that’s also ablist as fuck.

Another thing I learned from friends and peers. Criticism is meant to help and improve writing, NOT tear it down. If commentary doesn’t suggest improvement or change, it is just bullying. “The author would be appalled” and “I’ve met undergrads with more focus/passion” isn’t criticism. It’s bullying

GET THE TEA! So my university has ONE disability scholar. She is not in my department but I got a chance to meet her. Turns out she worked with a literature department student on her dissertation. That student’s dissertation chair rejected her during her DEFENSE citing that “she didn’t see the need for disablity in black feminism.” But uh oh! her chair is now my chair. That poor girl had to appeal and im going through the same thing. Weeks later, I am reading up on theory, minding my own business, and this scholar mentions my chair by name and calls her out on her ablist assumptions about disability.

Follow your heat. I had a bad feeling about this months ago. I shouldnt have let this go on for so long.

The last thing i learned is that I KNOW what needs to be written. I know what needs to be talked about. Don’t let people gaslight you and talk you out of an idea.

Overall, I think that this advisor meant well. I honestly believe that what they were trying to do was impliment “tough love.” But since that tough love came from a place of ablist assumptions, it was not love at all. It was just aggresive antagonization.

The end of this story is that I will be leaving this university. Next year, I will work as a full time instructor and chair a Teachers of Color Caucus. I’m also working on a creative project. I will get my PhD from someplace new and I am quite happy about it. Its ok if you dont believe this story, even I don’t believe it. But I had to write this and tell my side of the story. At least once.

I am happy to share the rejected drafts so that you may judge whether or not my chair is right. But trust me, this has become about much more than writing and content. It’s become an attack on my neurodivegence, disability, and disabled black women