#its definitely not as literal and just kind of a manifestation of the person but they can pick up a ton of details from that

[aroaceleovaldez]

I’m a bit nervous about sending an ask, but the curiosity has won me over, hope this isn’t too many questions

You said you headcannon Leo Valdez as dragon kin so I was wondering, do you think he has shifts often, if at all? If so, does he generally have some types of shifts more often or is it more balanced? And do the other campers and the seven know? If they do, did he tell them or did they piece it together on their own? If he told them, did he have to explain a lot or were they kind of just like “okay” and didn’t question it a lot? Like they just accepted it and didn’t want to overstep or something is what I mean

I think maybe I’m overthinking this, I really hope I’m not asking too many questions or anything

It's no worries at all! Asks/questions are always welcome!

I think his most usual shifts would be teeth/scales, but they're a lot more subtle so he either doesn't notice them as much or can ignore them. Those ones are probably semi-regular for him but again, more subtle most of the time (most of the time... every once in awhile he gets hit with a stronger maw shift and he's just sitting there gnashing his teeth at the air for like an hour cause his mouth feels weird until it goes away). Maybe also horns.

Less common ones for him but ones he'd notice more are probably wings, tail, and talons. Talons i mostly just think would be funny for him cause he has his habit of tapping his fingers as a stim. Him getting tripped up from the phantom talons while trying to stim, being confused for a minute about why his fingers aren't touching the table and he just ends up tapping out morse code into the air a couple inches above his desk instead. Wings and tail would probably just be pretty standard phantom limbs - they're just there and he's aware of them and maybe able to move them a bit. I imagine he'd eventually try to make some 'kin gear to help with those shifts specifically just so his brain stops error 404ing when his dragon limbs pass through solid objects despite his brain thinking they should be able to tangibly interact.

I don't think Leo would know what otherkin/alterhuman is when he first meets the Argo II crew, and probably wouldn't get the opportunity to learn about it for awhile. He doesn't really have the vocabulary to explain how he's feeling - just that he Is A Dragon. The rest of the crew probably also doesn't know what otherkin/alterhuman is either so they don't have an explanation for him, but, yknow, demigod life is already so goddamn weird, if Leo says he's a dragon that's not the most abnormal thing they've heard that week and they'll just take his word for it and accept it. And Jason probably understands the feeling re: being a wolf therian, even though he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain it either, so there's at least some solidarity there.

Earlier on I think Leo would just crack a lot of jokes about being a dragon, not particularly explaining how he feels about it to the others but just kind of putting the concept out there. He might try to explain it if the topic comes up but, as mentioned before, just struggle too much to try and find the words for it (the adhd/dyslexia/autism wording problems do not help there). I do like to think though that, due to their Hades/Pluto kid soul powers, Nico and Hazel would actually be able to pick up on spiritual-origin otherkin/therians/etc if they focused on it - Nico in particular, probably a lot more passively - and be able to kind of see phantom limbs/shifts sometimes (cause goodness knows how souls/spirit stuff works in the Riordanverse and I can have my self-indulgent silly alterhuman worldbuilding hcs if i want to - also at least partially inspired by some journal posts i've read of people mentioning people/animals/automatic doors picking up on their phantom limbs and being able to track the movement and stuff. if any demigod would be able to do that it's gonna be the kids with literal soul/phantom powers). I just find the concept amusing of Leo trying to explain this extremely metaphysical experience and Nico's just off to the side like "Oh yeah no, your soul is a dragon. Like, very literally. Dunno how that happened but good for you. btw why do you have ghost wings sometimes?" And Leo's grateful for someone helping him explain it but also isn't sure how he should react to statement. Eventually though one of the crew stumbles across alterhuman stuff - probably Leo or Annabeth, most likely accidentally through looking into daemonism stuff (you know they both read His Dark Materials) - and they put two and two together and finally have a means to explain it and Leo could not be more relieved (though he still doesn't know how to feel about Nico's soul comments).

I love rotating alterhuman demigods in my brain

[chaoticace2005]

Random short of Alastor’s shadow being done with his shit and becoming friends with our favorite losers. ( @xxqueenofdragonsxx @downthegenderriver )

Shadowstor was tired.

So tired.

Contrary to popular belief shadows COULD get tired. And Shadowstor was aware of that early on.

Okay… to be fair most shadows probably can’t get tired. Because most shadows can’t feel.

But Shadowstor was an exception. Because the very reason for it’s exhaustion is the same reason it can think to begin with.

Alastor.

Not the Radio Demon. Because Alastor himself isn’t the Radio Demon, no. Shadowstor helped with that. Helped more than it gets credit for (which is virtually none because of how Alastor likes to posture himself.)

And that’s fine, really. Shadowstor is a shadow for fucks sake. It isn’t made for being directly in the spotlight. Alastor is and Shadowstor fades into the background, being obscured with the focus on it’s counterpart.

The thing that does get Shadowstor exhausted though is the fact that Alastor has the tendency of being an impulsive idiot.

Now, don’t get Shadowstor wrong, Alastor is definitely a large part of why the Radio Demon has a reputation as an unhinged, powerful, scary individual. Shadowstor helped with the powers though, but really it thinks its greatest contribution was the fact that this means the Radio Demon now has some semblance of impulse control.

Alastor may not listen to anyone. But it’s usually kind of hard not to hear out a literal manifestation and source of your powers.

Usually. Because Alastor will still start a fight with pretty much anyone. He’ll go on the air and mock Vox for his crush. He’ll say ducks are an overrated animal right in front of Lucifer. He’ll 1v1 the literally first man. He’ll call Susan’s blouse tacky.

And all Shadowstor can usually do is sit back and watch. Because it’s bound to help Alastor. Bound to be part of the Radio Demon. But that doesn’t stop it from being exhausted every single time Al does start something.

One thing though about being tied to Alastor is you get to know others who are tied to Alastor. Others who are equally exhausted by Alastor.

Husk.

The Bar Cat was one being Shadowstor could relate to on a deep level. Because Shadowstor has to put up with the ineptness of Alastor. But Husk has to put up with the ineptness of Alastor and everyone else.

It’s because of this when Alastor is sleeping (which, despite Angel Dust’s verbal doubts on the matter does happen, Alastor isn’t an all powerful being, despite how much he pretends to be,) Shadowstor sometimes will go out, going downstairs to the bar that is usually only occupied by the Cat-Demon waiting from his not-boyfriend to come home.

(Sexual and romantic feelings are so weird. Relationships are so weird and Shadowstor is glad it doesn’t have to deal with that.)

After a particularly tiring day of Alastor trying to break into the Vees tower and destroy Vox’s body pillow of him, Shadowstor was exhausted. It had pretty much given up on trying where Vox was involved, because Alastor seemed to get particular joy out of taunting the TV, but it still felt like it had to try. At this point it was a matter of principle. It had fought with Alastor on this for years and it was not stopping to just let him win.

“Oh, my dear, you worry too much.” He said to Shadowstor before merging with it into the shadows and traveling across the city.

Fifteen minutes later Shadowstor had to rush them out if there because Vox had installed a shark filled moat around his office. Which Shadowstor had seen but Alastor walked right into. Because apparently “radio demon” powers extend to wresting sharks in the water (it does NOT.)

So now Alastor was asleep after pretending he had totally-not-been chewed up by some demon-sharks. And Shadowstor went downstairs to the bar.

“You too, huh?” Husk said to it, seeming to notice right when the shadow crossed with threshold. Working with the Radio Demon for years would get a person skilled at picking up changes in shadows quickly.

Shadowstor just nodded and slumped against the wall, putting its hands to its head.

The winged cat nodded in agreement, “I’ll drink to that.” He said as he took a half-full whiskey bottle and chugged it.

Shadowstor wished it could drink.

“What was it this time? Lucifer’s ducks again?”

The shadow shook its head and flat, vertically-aligned hand on top of it, making the sign for “shark.”

“Oh. Vox. Do I even want to know?”

Shadowstor shook its head again because no, Husk really didn’t. It doesn’t even want to start to think about the Alastor-Body-Pillow. Or the Alastor shrine. Or the Alastor fanfiction it found (which Vox should be lucky that Alastor didn’t find that because otherwise there’d be another broken TV screen in this hotel.)

Right then a beaten up pink spider burst through the hotel doors, going right to a stool in the bar and crashing onto it.

“Tough night?” Husk asked, already handing his not-boyfriend a drink that had been prepared even before Shadowstor arrived.

“You know it. Fuckin’ Val.”

Husk made a sound to show he was listening.

“Apparently Vox was pissed today. So that meant Val was pissed today.”

Oh… oops?

Okay, to be fair, if Vox is pissed at Alastor that isn’t really Shadowstor’s fault. It tried to stop him.

The shadow made a face palm again at its counterpart’s need to harass every single person he came into contact with.

“Wha- Smiles?”

Alastor’s here?! Wait… no he isn’t. Cause Shadowstor is here. And Shadowstor would know if Al woke up.

Oh… the spider demon is staring right at it.

Shadowstor shook its head, a bit annoyed at the idea of being confused with that impulsive buffoon.

“Huh? Husk, what—“

“That’s Alastor’s shadow.”

Shadowstor waved.

“Alastor’s what?”

“Shadow? You know? The thing that goes around with him. Helps with his powers. I’m sure he’s manifested it in front of you before.”

“Oh… yeah. So it’s just… here? Where’s Al?”

Shadowstor made the sign for sleeping.

“Sleeping.” Husk translated.

“What? How?!”

“His shadow can leave when Alastor isn’t conscious or controlling it.”

“No. I mean how did you get that from that?!” Angel says as he motions back over to Shadowstor which… rude.

“I know sign language.”

“You know WHAT?!”

“Sign language.”

“Jesus Whiskers, how many languages do you know?”

“Well there’s Russian, Spanish—“

“Wait. No. Back to the point. Alastor’s shadow just comes down here sometimes and talk to you?”

“…yeah?”

“About what?”

Shadowstor just makes one sign with as much as exhaustion as it can.

“Alastor.”

“Al— wait,” Angel laughs, “even Smiles’ shadow has a problem with him?!”

Shadowstor starts signing to explain the exact issue it faces with Alastor, Husk working to translate while Angel just nods in response.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe a fucking shadow has some oftha same shitty boss troubles as me.”

Shadowstor gives a shake and growl at that. Because Alastor isn’t it’s boss. It can see Husk about to translate before Angel cuts in.

“Oh… not your boss.”

Shadowstor nods.

“…so you’re like… you’re own person?”

Shadowstor shrugs because who knows. It wasn’t sentient before Alastor but it sure as hell is now.

“… you got a name?”

And Shadowstor pauses because no. It’s just Alastor’s shadow. For as long as it’s been around it’s never had a name. Alastor never deemed that necessary.

“Husk? Does it?” Angel asks when Shadowstor won’t answer which- hey it’s still right here. It can talk for itself. Or respond anyways.

“I don’t… think so?”

Angel turns back to Shadowstor.

“Do ya want one? Like… if you’re separate from Alastor shouldn’t you have a name that isn’t just ‘his shadow.’”

The shadow thinks for a second before slowly nodding, intrigued by this novel idea.

“What about… Tom?”

Tom?

“Tom?” Husk asks.

“Fuck. Fine, what about… Dusk? Cause y’a know shadows and darkness and stuff…”

Dusk… Dusk… it likes that.

Dusk nods and it can see the spider demon smile.

“Sweet. Nice ta meetya Duskie- oh wait. Duskie… Husky! Aw ya rhyme!”

Dusk can see Husk roll his eyes, and that just makes it even more comfortable in its decision.

—Later—

“So, you’re only able to really move around at night? When Al is asleep?”

Dusk nods.

“…Husk, what do you think Lucifer and Vox would say about moving our ‘Fuck Alastor’ meetings to nighttime?”

Oh. Oh Dusk likes this one.

[plutonianeris]

𝖒𝖊𝖉𝖚𝖘𝖆 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖏𝖚𝖈𝖙 𝖆𝖘𝖈

This is how medusa conjuct ascendant has manifested for me. I am not a professional astrologer, just sharing my personal experiences I believe correlate with this placement.

🐍 In regards to appearances, I have always had very long, dark wavy hair. Growing up, a lot of times my hair was touched without my consent and I remember distinctly someone pulling my hair hard as fuck in school and it was a group of girls (didnt know which one it was). I also remember boys trying to “flirt” with me by tugging my hair.

🐍As I got older and started taking care of my hair even more, that is one the first things I always get compliments on by strangers, acquaintances or coworkers.

🐍In some other posts I see people mention a “piercing gaze.” As a kid, when I was angry I use to look at people like I wanted to shoot lasers out of my eyes. My mother would hate when I would look at her like that, she told me I looked like a monster when I gave her the death stare during arguments.

🐍On the flip side of that however, I do also get compliments on my eyes. My eyes are big and very dark as well just like my hair. One time in high school, one of my teachers told me I had “bedroom eyes” in front of the whole class. I realized it was kinda inappropriate when I googled what that was after. One of my friends said I have “siren eyes.”

🐍I have never felt fully comfortable around the opposite sex. I was always very very wary of men. In high school was when it was at its peak. The guys were pretty gross. One time a guy in my grade (who I barely knew) pulled me into a hug and literally bit my fucking shoulder. I had shoved him away and looked towards my teacher but he didnt do anything, just looked away.

🐍I can definitely see men in my life or in my surroundings who were not being inappropriate to me being indifferent to watching bad/ uncomfortable things happen to me. Either they didn’t care or didn’t find me someone worthy as defending or both.

🐍When I did defend myself I was villanized quickly over it. In high school, a guy behind me slapped my butt and when I turned around and slapped him in the face I got in trouble/ detention for it.

🐍I was often talked about in a very sexual manner (despite never dating or being “promiscuous” for a lack of better word). Comments were made about my body and sexuality.

🐍Then when I went to college I felt like I putting myself out there more but realized I wasn’t fully being vulnerable. I liked to flirt with guys but I wanted them to have to practically BEG for my attention. And then when they gave it to me I would shut them down. I use to do that a lot. One time a guy was so angry at me he called me a snake. I’m an adult now, and have grown and don’t do any kind of thing like that anymore. But at the time, I believe I was seeking a kind of power/control over other people because I personally felt powerless or unworthy.

🐍I am also not personally fond of snakes as pets or wanting to hold them. But I use to always want a medusa tattoo in college and had a bracelet with Medusa and another with Artemis on it that I wore everyday (and it was all before I even knew about astrology or the fact that I have this placement).

🐍I have generally had good relationships with women. But I do think for sure growing up I tried to make the women around me (whether family, teachers or friends) like me as much as possible. It felt devastating being rejected by them.

🐍When the women in my life would hurt me, whether by accident or on purpose I would make excuses for them until it would blow up in my face. (It reminds me of how Medusa use to worship Athena and was shocked and destroyed at the betrayal).

🐍There have been times where other women would look at me as if I was in competition with them (when in reality I didn’t give a fuck). But they would make petty comparisons. One time I had a “friend” who asked in front of a group of guys, “who is prettier? me or her?”

🐍I use to HATE when people stared at me, mostly when it was men. I would look back at people and be like what the fuck are you looking at? or say something along those lines. It made me so furious when men would catcall me too or eye me up and down.

🐍I would definitely say that growing up I had a bad temper. I was very resentful and impulsive and I was angry with the things that had happened to me and my body. Sometimes I just wanted to disappear. I was not easily given the benefit of the doubt. I was quick to get blamed. Not easily listened to.

🐍Overall, I can see having this placement as being very heavy as kid or a teen. I was so young and I was just worried about being a kid and getting to know myself but I got sexualized so much. I think I did grow up too fast in certain aspects. I do not miss my childhood nor do I remember it with nostalgia.

🐍I love being an adult. I love making my own choices. I love not having to ask for permission. I love feeling confident in my femininity(I feel like this year is when I just started to fully explore it out of love). It was a painful journey but more often than not I feel brave, and safe and comfortable in my body now more than ever. I don’t self sabotage anymore or go out of my way to shut people out. But it took a very long time.

[desceros]

sometimes i think about the future symphony "i should have married you" post you made and it makes me so sad but the other night as i was falling asleep i was struck with absolute agony by the awful idea of "i should have married you" because marrying her would have made her hamato and maybe just maybe then she would have been able to become a hamato spirit. and the brothers most likely would have been able to make contact with the hamato sprits like they do in the series. and because if he married her at least he would have been able to contact her spirit. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh anyways thought i should share hope your day is going fabulously captain desceros

oh, this is awful. allow me to make it even worse :)

we’ve seen in the series that you dont actually have to have the hamato name to be ‘a hamato’ as april demonstrates. we’ve also seen varying levels of. hm. ninj-oscity? ninpo skills? from the boys. like raph and leo doing a ninja mind meld. just. just mikey.

and we’ve always seen that donnie struggles with ninpo the most.

his ninpo is mechanical. when he uses it at its most conscious level, we see it manifest as blueprints coming together. literal pieces, as if constructed with real material. when he panics or doesn’t go through this process, it’s a vague shape that isn’t as strong or as defined in purpose.

so let’s take this scenario you’ve brought to us.

viola-chan would have, unquestionably, been a hamato. and for that reason, i can definitely see her having a hamato spirit.

…..but i dont think donnie would ever be able to communicate with it.

mikey would be the most likely, since he has the strongest ninpo. but he’d be in high demand since he’s so strong, so i think it would tire him and i dont know how much time and energy he’d have to talk to anyone. not to mention the stress he’d feel when donnie would come to him like Hey Can I Talk To My Dead Girlfriend and mikey’s like…. dude i just got home from 24 hours of straight ass kicking i’m about to pass tf out.

and raph, i imagine, died not too long after viola-chan, so whether he could or not is moot.

leo. well. i dont think leo could communicate with viola-chan either. leo is rather avoidant when he feels guilty or ashamed, and (without going into too much of spoiler territory) he’d feel largely unworthy to talk to you, i think. and since we’ve seen that it takes an open heart to use the technique, it wouldn’t work.

and donnie. god. donnie would try. he would try so, so hard. he would try, hours upon hours, every free moment, banging his fists on his thighs as he’d meditate until he’d collapse. reaching out. seeking. already not as strong at this whole ninpo nonsense. unable to calm himself from the need to see you need to see you please just let me see you one last time please please please that would make it impossible to focus. he’d start thinking about tech that could bridge the gap. that’s how his ninpo works, after all. modeling his blueprint. so if he can design a machine that can talk to you. his ninpo can bring it to life.

but he doesnt exactly have a lot of time to dedicate to a personal project like that, let alone one so fucking insane in scale, so actually impossible to do. and as the time passes he grows more and more obsessed with thinking about it. yet simultaneously more and more sure it’ll never happen. i feel like his last moments, alone, bleeding, staring up at the rust-colored sky, he’d be smiling. because of course he he has some kind of death drone army set to go the moment his ninpo cuts off, and it’s one last middle finger to krang. …but also i think he’d be a little relieved. hoping his spirit will find yours and lavi’s.

(do they? who knows. no more hamato exist in that timeline to find out.)

[pinkanonwrites]

“ASK ME ABOUT BUMBLEBEE IN MY ASK BOX I LITERALLY NEVER GET SICK OF HIM” hi sorry. ive had a crush on that guy for like 18 years now he makes me fucking crazy. talk about him as much as you want pretty please

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY! Thank you so much anon, I'll gladly indulge.

I don't think there's been a single iteration of Bumblebee I didn't at least kind of like. There's definitely a few iterations of him that stand out to me though! I really, really like the direction they took Bumblebee in Earthspark, an unprepared mentor who's still a little immature, but has it WAY more put-together than the Terrans he's always surrounded with. He thinks he's in over his head and there's no way he could be a teacher, but by the end of Season 1 he's proven himself to be an incredible leader, teacher, and fun uncle figure.

Also, potentially controversial opinion, I really enjoy RID 2015 Bumblebee. It's definitely not the best Transformers series, and personally I think it would have been a lot more well-received if it wasn't pitched as a sequel to Transformers Prime and instead got to stand alone as its own thing. But seeing Bumblebee trying to be a serious leader with his goofball team only makes it more adorable when the geeky moments slip through, like his love of cowboys or the Bumblebee babysitting episode. Prime Bee and RID 2015 Bee definitely don't feel like the same character to me, but I'm able to separate them enough that I enjoy each of their merits.

But my humble opinions on various Bumblebees aren't the main reason we're here, is it? No, the main reason is for me to write all my personal little valveplug headcanons for y'all to enjoy and peruse!

NSFW BELOW THE CUT!

I think just about every version of Bee would be incredibly possessive over his partner. Though he's usually a fun, plucky, charming bot, he's got a lot of inferiority complexes and that manifests in him absolutely NOT wanting to share. Some Bees are more flexible than other Bees, but all versions of Bee love it best when your attention is on him. The only one that I can see being willing to share his partner on a 'more than once' basis would be Cyberverse Bee, and even then only with someone he felt equally comfortable with like Cheetor or Hot Rod.

Bee is also incredibly tactile, he loves skin-to-metal contact. If he had no shame and no scruples he'd carry you around in his servos or on his shoulder wherever he went. Bayverse, Knightverse, Cyberverse, and Animated Bumblebee are all very grabby and affectionate in public, while Prime, RID 2015, and Earthspark Bee save their touching and fondling for more private places. Really, the first group just get too excited when they see you, while the second group is worried about embarrassing you AND themselves.

He usually prefers to be the one doing the spiking, but that's partially because of the aforementioned inferiority complex. Get your hands and mouth on his sensitive little valve and you'll have a puddle of mech all for you to play with.

Very messy and very enthusiastic kisser. Even when he's trying to hold back and take it slow his processor is just a fog of pleasure and he can't help but practically devour you. Same thing if he's eating you out, he gets completely and utterly drunk on you.

LOT of transfluid for a minibot, and despite his better efforts the two of you usually end up pretty messy. If it's an accident he'll be very sheepish and apologetic, but if you asked for it he'll fully revel in seeing you covered and slick with his fluids. Actually, probably a lot of fluids in general if we cycle back on that kissing one. He's just a messy bot.~

And I talked about this a little in my tickling posts, but I'll indulge myself a little more. Like Optimus, I think Bumblebee enjoys being tickled but struggles to voice that or ask for it because he's worried it'll reflect poorly on him, like he won't be taken seriously if he lets himself indulge. The inner lining of his door wings is super sensitive, even just trailing your fingers up and down the length of the rubber window seal will have him squirming. As for the inverse, Bumblebee absolutely loves to tickle you, and would gladly do it whenever you ask. You're so, so much smaller than he is: softer, squishier, more vulnerable. It both turns him on and tugs at his heartstrings that you trust him enough to let him manhandle you like that, pin you down and push you to your absolute limits until you're wriggling and gasping and squealing with laughter. Cyberverse and Knightverse Bees are the biggest ticklers, while Animated and Earthspark Bees are the biggest ticklees.

(If you have any more questions about my particular headcanons on specific iterations of Bumblebee, please please please send an ask! I can answer well and enthusiastically for just about every Bee, save for IDW and Prime.)

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

It Should Have Been Jonathan: Why Swapping Jonathan and Mina's Roles for the Blood Ceremony Makes Dracula a Better Story Both Thematically and Plotwise

Bram Stoker did not write it this way, so swapping Jonathan in is not a headcanon, but rather an adaptational choice that adaptations like Murray Mysteries or fic writers (like me!) choose to make over and over again. Here's why you should engage with this premise.

(No spoilers for those caught up to October 3rd of Dracula Daily)

(non-graphic mention of rape, sexual assault, etc)

The Story As It Is: The Good Points

Jonathan um. Goes Through it this novel. If you hadn't noticed. Mina takes care of him a lot, and after the blood ceremony, Jonathan gets to take care of her. This is very sweet, and I do enjoy that both Mina and Jonathan take turns rather than Jonathan always needing help.

It's not like it's unrealistic. Dracula would totally retaliate against the men fighting against him by targeting Mina. He super would see this as very apt revenge, and he's definitely that brand of sexist that sees women as a prize.

This plot point goes out of its way to frame the actions of the men in excluding Mina as utterly disastrous, which is cool.

Mina as the Victim: What is it Accomplishing + How Did She Get There

Mina spends most of the novel taking care of the people Dracula's victimized. She is a force to be reckoned with, but as Stoker wrote her she is a very good sort of English woman, pious, obedient to the men, respectable, etc. etc. Although she and Lucy have very different characters, when Dracula targets them they serve the same role as good English women who are coming under attack by Dracula, an evil Eastern European man. In Lucy's case he literally kills her and in her place is a hot sexually impure corruption of the original person. Victorian nightmare fuel. In addition, there are all kinds of sexual non-con rape vibes to what he does to both Lucy and Mina. Hot forceful foreign men are invading England and targeting good women. That's the whole fear that Dracula represents.

This manifestation of xenophobia doesn't hold up at all. For me, it's always been the worst element of the novel. I don't find it compelling.

Something else you might have picked up from this update: martyr talk martyr talk martyr talk. While (trust me) Mina is still smart and still given a lot of agency by Stoker to break her own curse, after the blood ceremony, she suffers Very Piously. Like a hair's breadth away from publishing a video entitled "How To Suffer A Tormentor From Hell in A God Honoring Way" on her Youtube Channel.

I personally don't find this interesting. I don't think it holds up. I don't want to see Mina suffer like a Perfect Little Christian. I want to see her kick ass and take names.

In conclusion: the driving forces behind Mina's attack and trauma are at best uninspired and outdated, and there is a very nasty undercurrent of xenophobia and sexism there as well.

I don't love it. I'm either bored or actively turned off by what Stoker is trying to say.

Jonathan as the Victim: What Could It Accomplish?

Dracula choosing to attack Jonathan again would shift the narrative so that it becomes a story about an abuser who will Not Let Go. An abuser who follows across a continent. An abuser who waits until you've just started to recover from the first round of trauma and started to feel safe again to start an onslaught even more vicious and concerted than the last.

I think Stoker laid the groundwork for this twist to be more terrifying and compelling than for Mina to be targeted 2/3rds of the way through. Obviously Dracula is an abuser no matter what, but it so much more terrifying to me to think of him playing a long-term game of cat and mouse over like 6 months with one man, than it is to see him target Mina over the span of three days.

This is also in character for Dracula. I agree with the common interpretation that Dracula continued to target Lucy even when it got ridiculously difficult and dangerous to continue because he can't stand to lose a test of dominance.

If we carry that over to Jonathan there is absolutely no way that Dracula would be ok with learning Jonathan escaped and is recovering. He would Hate that. He would absolutely want to target Jonathan again.

So you remember "I too can love" "tonight is mine" the gaps in the journal? All that abuse that is hinted at and never explored? The same sort of sexual assault motifs that are so present in Lucy and Mina's attacks? The implication that Jonathan was fed on by Dracula? All these hints that Stoker doesn't do anything with or develop further? Well Making Jonathan the one who undergoes the blood ceremony gives us a very natural chance to discuss them again.

In conclusion: Jonathan's history with the Count makes him being the victim (again) a more compelling story. We've watched the Count slowly escalate aggression with him over the course of a novel, and this final attempt to literally claim Jonathan's soul and make him a thrall is the natural conclusion of that. To me those are some compelling stakes

Jonathan being Targeting Makes for Less Plotholes (and less Infuriatingly Sexist Plotpoints)

Not that Mina being excluded is unrealistic or unworthy of engaging with in the original novel but I find it to be such a drag

And actually to a certain point it is unrealistic to me because I think the decision to completely cut her off and stop talking to her about anything comes completely out of left field. Everyone was acting like she'd work with them in some capacity right up until Van Helsing says differently. I find that jarring.

Switching the target to Jonathan eliminates that plotpoint entirely, which I think is cool. Maybe Stoker never would have written Mina as one of the boys, but it's not the 19th century anymore and we can write Mina however we want. I think having a Mina that sticks up for herself and refuses to be excluded is neat.

But on what grounds would they choose to exclude Jonathan? Well I actually think that some obvious solutions present themselves.

Murray Mysteries goes the "Jonathan you have PTSD you shouldn't retraumatize yourself route" which works for them, since it's a 21st century retelling

But I actually think it could potentially make sense for Van Helsing to want to exclude Jonathan, and to need to be secretive about it.

So you know how in the canon Dracula gives Mina his blood partially because his intention was to make himself a spy? The plan was to use an unwitting Mina to his advantage but the polycule bursting in killed that idea.

Well if I were Van Helsing, I would immediately suspect that the Count had fucked with Jonathan at the castle. I mean it would make so much sense wouldn't it? Jonathan was there for two months, he could be compromised in so many different ways.

If Van Helsing had these suspicions, then it would be the natural next step to try and exclude Jonathan from the business as completely and utterly as possible under whatever flimsy excuses he can make up (and this man has been making up flimsy excuses for the whole novel so it's in character).

This adaptational change would lead into Jonathan getting attacked again very smoothly, except in this version, Van Helsing's reasoning has more grounds to it than just Sexism, so he would be not only a smarter character, but also one I'd want to punch less.

I think that makes for a stronger plot

Also it seems very natural to me that Jonathan wouldn't realize he'd been attacked again by Dracula. More natural than Mina not realizing. This man has been having PTSD nightmares and flashbacks about Count Dracula attacking him for the entire summer and early fall. Canonically his trauma made it difficult for him to separate dreams from reality in the past. He would just assume they were particularly nasty dreams.

This would also apply to Mina not noticing Jonathan was being fed on as well. She's used to him not looking well and having bad nights. It would not immediately be apparent to her that this was different that the usual.

In conclusion: Jonathan being the one who is attacked opens the door to other obvious plot changes that create a better story structurally.

Okay You've Convinced Me, I Want to Explore This

Listen to Murray Mysteries! Listen to Murray Mysteries if I haven't convinced you, it's really good and it's the only adaptation I know of that actually adapts the Polycule in a good way.

Read my series! I don't mean to self-promote but if you couldn't tell I feel incredibly strongly about this premise and I don't see people tapping into the potential so I've had to do it myself. Strange Wonders is a series of short stories that explore the plot of Dracula if this change had happened. The goal was to create something that mimicked Bram Stoker's tone and style as much as possible, while being the story I liked better in my head. The first in the series, Uncommon Horrors and Unnatural Hurts is Dracula Daily friendly, and the next in the series The Resilience of the Dawn will be Dracula Daily friendly by October 4th. I'm still updating as well although the story is technically complete and has a climax.

here some would stand between you and death by princ3ssf33t is a great little one-shot fic I've found that deals with the role reversal and features some stellar Jonmina

There is a Pleasure in the Pathless Woods by calliopes_pen is another epic reimagining where both the Harkers are targeted by Dracula

Your fic/art/content here!! Endless potential.

TL;DR

Having Jonathan undergo the blood ceremony instead of Mina makes for richer horror, stronger character arcs, less teethgrinding sexism, and less plotholes. The Dracula fandom should be exploring it more.

[millysastroblog]

✨Solar Return Chart 2023✨

#Birthday Edition 🥳

Hello Hello guys ,I am so happy to be back on track with my Solar Return Chart Series. In the last couple of weeks if found myself to be inspiered by my last Solar Return Chart 2022 that changed my life. So I thought why not share my knowledge and experience for this year since my birthday is today 🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳! Some might wonder how is it possible to experience the manifestations of a SR Chart so soon. For me personally my SR Chart gets activated 3 months prior to my actual birthday.

So let’s start.

✨SR ASC in Virgo:

Oh boy, since the past 3 months my daily routines have been a bit more chaotic and stressful becuase of work and school. I am very busy at work trying to get my task orderly and efficently done. Since SR ASC Virgo has been activted, i feel less emotinal but more analytical, perfectinistic and focused on what needs to fixed and done. Recently i have meet so many different people through my working enviroument that i have help with diffucult or complicated tasks, trying to be the one who carrys the heavy load . My anxiety has increaed out of no where like I get nervous and anxious about the smallest things like attending social gatherings puncutal, my work projects, school, about how I handle my health etc. Speaking off health matters. I try to balance it out with meditations, mindful eating, healthy diets, Yoga etc.

✨SR ASC ruling natal 5th house:

Thankfully I have the SR Rising placement connected to the my natal 5th house ruler and it's surely not boring or draining. It's more of a lighthearted, fun, relaxing energy .that gave or still gives me the opportunity to explore my creative pursuits like a hobby, engaging in things that bring me joy. And interestingly in January I started this Astro Blog. I found writing and reading to be one of my main passions additionally with dancing,cooking, binge watching shows, singing, and yoga .The 5th house also represents children the past couple months i have been bonding with my little sister like crazy, i literally just want to spend every hour of the day just with her. Sadly i haven't had experiences around dating or the romantic sector, maybe it will happen later on, who knows ?  #hobbys, creativity, fun

✨7th house stellium (Sun,Mercury,Neptune) :

Ummmhh love? Relationships? are things I think about frequently. Lately I started to reflect on my past destructive behaviors in my past close connections/relationships and how I used to sabotage them because of my unhealed wounds . Having a 7th house SR Chart Stellium doesn't always determine that someone will be in a relationship but I surely have the desire to connect with different types of people. I have this inner craving to form healthy close bonds and heal from past traumatic relationships . I am kind of still processing my last close connection which i ended 6 months ago thinking about what i could have done better, why i did it, do i regret it, Will i ever be ready for a relationship? and so on.... but I still have hope of finding my soulmate. # life commitment

✨Moon Libra in the 2nd house:

With Moon in Libra the need to have people around me is two times intensified since Libra rules the 7th house. One thing I can definitely say is that my finances (personal income) is fluctuating like ebb and flow. I earn my money normally through my job but I spend huge amounts of it recklessly. It's the emotional impulse that drives me very loose and irresponsible because I feel ( moon) like doing it, but I do gain little finacial gains out my regular income out of know where though. #money honey

✨Chiron, Venus, Jupiter in the 8th house ruled by Aries:

Ohhh god, the packed 8th house....luckily its in Jupiter and Venus which defently helped me with gaining money from other sources like people. Venus showed me how to see beauty in things that are underneath the surface and not tangible. I truly want to have passionate romantic lustful relationship where I can share so many undiscovered, hidden parts that hopefully will be received with acceptance and understanding . Jupiter ummmm... my libido is on skyrockets at this point. Sry to mention it but it's true. Chiron in this house will assist me in healing the ugly and nasty parts about sexual matters, money and deep intimate connections that i am scared and deeply ashamed of. 

✨Mars in the 10th house ruled by Gemini :

Now this is one of the most intense SR chart placements because I possess mars in the 10th house natally. Ahh again with work my career path is right now very intense, my workaholic nature comes even more out, like a crazy uncontrollable working machine. Lately I have been questioning if my career path is the right one, or if I would want to switch into another department where I can express my truest passions and talents. I haven't had conflicts with bosses or people at work yet but with my mother since she counts as an authority figure which is from a natal standing point nothing knew, but just 10 times intensified. 

✨Saturn in the 6th :

Ohh boy boy work work work literally the only thing that pops up in my SR Chart for this year. So Saturn as we all know represents hardships and restrictions and lately I have been very lazy lacking, energy and motivation for my daily activities .I just feel drained and burnt out from my working life. But the positive thing about Saturn is that it sheds light on certain patterns that are not useful or productive for us. In my case it would be how I overindulge in unhealthy habits like binge watching shows everday, overeating, procrastination and the list goes on. Saturn in the 6th house has had subtle impact on my physical health with constant neck and back pains :(

✨Uranus, North Node in the 9th house :

Now with Uranus in the 9th I have been also traveling a lot of course for work purposes, visited new different places and had interesting experiences. But this is a very disruptive and chaotic energy while traveling long distance or for longer hours, I tend to be so nervous and all over the place losing my cool when I misse my plane or train. I look forward to plane multiple trips for this year :)

✨Pluto in the 5th house:

Pluto made me create an obsession with my hobby’s like posting Astro content. As I mentioned before children can be a huge part , deciding whether I would want to have kids in the future or not at all. This placement gave me introspective and insightful moments about myself who I identify as, what makes me happy and what my passion and talents are.

You guys probably know my entire life story through this Solar Return Observation 😅. I hoped this kind of helped to see how a SR Chart can manifest in real life situations.

Down below there is a question about if you guys might want another Observation from my chart from last year because that is when I can spell some interesting facts and predictions since it lasted a whole entire year.

Im just going to enjoy my birthday and wish u guys a beautiful blessed day 🥰!

[madarasminx]

Rant 01: Madara wasn't an evil soul as one would think.

Madara Uchiha.

A man who was misunderstood and viewed as a power-hungry villain over the decades. He was a truer man than most in the anime and spoke what he thought and felt on a profound level of intelligence. As a Capricorn, he doesn't sugar-coat. He is a leader, a bit rude but you can understand his perspective once u get to know his upbringing and background.

He wasn't an evil person.

Yes, he was a gentle and kind-hearted man in the Warring Era in his younger years but the light of his heart was chipped away little by little the more he lost what he held dear. His brothers, his friends, children amongst his generation, his baby brother, the clan, and lastly his hope which was betrayed by the one he trusted most. Hashirama.

Can you imagine trying to stay positive after everything you give your slivers of chance to are snatched from your very eyes? How can he be viewed as evil? What, because of his idea of total control of the shinobi world? If it were you, could you still view the world as "peaceful, thriving, and harmonious"?

Just like any other human species, he experienced a number of emotions he masked very well for the sake of battle and his clan. As strong as he is and the image he was portrayed to be is the ego from these emotions: neglect, loss, depression, isolation, dissociation, paranoia, hatred, agony, and betrayal. Could you have gone through all those psychological shifts and remain sane?

Hm, definitely not. I think most of us would become mental after a couple of losses. He lost MANY things.

Just like in the anime, he is viewed as someone for control, dominance, and power. (This behavior is rooted in parental alienation of childhood where his father found it mandatory for Madara to be a "weapon instead of a child at a young age which is what he was raised upon the teachings of his father). Those very goals are manifested from a life-changing loss and deep-seated hatred.

Remember when Hashirama was speaking to him in the Uchiha Shrine and he began to go into a spiral while articulating his "true dream"? Ideally, some would say he is crazy or not listening to reason.

Ask yourself this though: How can someone CHOOSE to lose their sanity after experiencing a MYRIAD of mental and physiological spikes and dives?

Then after his first "death" he was LITERALLY a wandering ghost. As the namesake, The Ghost of the Uchiha. Over the decades his name was spoken with an energy of power and intimation even in his death. A soul with malice and all negative forces and karma attached to its name.

So yeah... He did what he thought was right with good intentions but his wired mind from his era drove him into doing maddening things to achieve what he couldnt before. His worldview was distorted, guys...

His actual evolving death and conversation with Edo Hashirama at the end proves this.

And that's it for this rant.

[tongues--and--teeth]

Fuck i fucking love your art smmmm

Berserk boi

QUICK GIVE ME ALL YOUR BERSERK CACAOO HCSSS

Oh my god! Thank you so much! This totally made my day <33333

I'm so sorry this took so long, I've been really busy lately :(

(TW for gore mention)

So actually I headcanon that his berserk form is connected to his soul jam. Kind of like a little side effect. Y'know what use is a sword if not to harm others? If not to shed blood? (and also this sword hurts its owner too!) and it's the soul jam of resolution which is also dictionary definition, literally a firm decision that you're unwavering in. If Dark Cacao ever goes back on his decision to take the sword, guess what! He goes berserk until it consumes all of his life force and kills him. woo. 

He used to be able to control the berserk form a little, being able to turn partially into it to fight and stuff. He did lose the power to do so as he got older. Turning into his half-form and full form basically torturing him every time he tried to use it. It also completely removes pretty much all mental capacity for intelligent thought, so he can't use it in a "productive" way even if he wanted to. Basically just blind destruction with no distinction between friend or foe. 

(^that's actually the concept for the drawing you saw)

Personally, I have his berserk form more or less as kind of an allegory for illness, a physical manifestation of internal pain. He was making it a fuel to keep going instead of actually confronting the “bad stuff” that happened. He was taking how it hurt him and using that to keep going, instead of confronting it head-on and getting it to stop hurting him. Eventually, he couldn't keep doing this, it was destroying him and he was losing control. So now, he couldn’t use it for anything, aka, his pain isn't useful anymore. Anyway, he does still transform into his berserk form (albeit unintentionally) but only during times of extreme stress and triggers like certain sounds, textures, and tastes. It's also triggered through more physical means, if he stands too long his legs start turning to smoke, if he fights too long his eyes glow white, it's torture every time. In very special cases (Pomegranate Cookie) he goes full berserk, it usually takes him out for weeks, unable to do much, hardly able to take care of himself, much less able to make himself useful as a king or as a warrior.

Actually, after he stopped going berserk back in book 14, I think he was cut open pretty much everywhere underneath his armor. His guts were spilling out, and were barely contained by his armor. It basically cut him almost completely in half. He still managed to fight afterwards, obviously at great personal cost, but he was still able to fight. Weeks after, he could barely move, he was stuck in bed, and even small things like sitting up were a huge struggle. The only reason he's not dead is because of his soul jam, the same reason he was cursed in the first place. His immortality at the cost of eternal suffering and the like.

After book 14, he forces enough energy to attend the council of heroes (AKA Cookie Odyssey chapter 1) but the smallest things keep setting him off, turning him slightly berserk every time. He is spending every second he can lying down in his tent. It prevents his wounds from healing, and it also keeps him from thinking clearly. When he tried killing Clotted Cream the, admittedly very little, healing that was done was immediately reversed. He ended up barely functioning, with the only reason he was able to continue with the council was because Hollyberry noticed him limping and had Pure Vanilla heal him. Which only did so much, because it’s…A curse that's both caused by and stopped by his immortality, and you can't just fix that without probably killing him instantly. So, he doesn’t have a permanent solution, and he’s stuck with this until the end of time.

Thank you again for the ask. It was really fun to do! Sorry again for taking so long to finish it :(

[satanandsoul]

hello, thank you for the reply and yes, he did mention it in a dream vs dream video to be 10:00 am. it'd be great if you could do it for that time! thank you once again!!! have a great day ahead!

Hi there anon! Thank you so much for confirming the birth time for Haechan. Really appreciate it! 💕💛💕

♊︎ Haechan Birth Chart Analysis ♊︎

Disclaimer: All these are for entertainment purposes only. DO take my words with a grain of salt.

Asteroid and astrological body that will be discussed in depth are Chiron and Black Moon Lilith (BML) as they show up prominent in my research.

First of all, can I just say, I feel sorry for this man. Like Genuinely. With Sun-Venus conjunction in 11th house Gemini opposite Pluto-Chiron conjunction in 4th house Sagittarius, I cannot imagine how painful it is to live Haechan's life. I myself have Sun-Venus conjunction in Leo square Pluto in Scorpio. There wasn't a moment when I didn't wish I was someone else before I was 25 (the age Venus matures). Natives with Sun-Venus conjunction place a lot of importance on whether they are socially accepted or loved. Their egos are bounded with the idea of becoming that popular boy or girl that is welcomed in any social circumstances. Normally, it manifests well when this aspect is on its own. It gives diplomacy and popularity to the natives. But Haechan has his Sun-Venus conjunction opposite by Pluto-Chiron conjunction. People who have Sun-Pluto and Venus-Pluto stressful aspects at the same time inherently think that they are unlovable. They constantly compare themselves to others and find faults within themselves. And when you throw in Chiron (wounds that one cannot heal) into the mix, I see it manifests as a lot of people around Haechan (most probably at home because Pluto and Chiron are in the 4th house) making remarks on how unlikeable his usual way of getting things done (Sun) and his love language (Venus). It can also be Haechan's appearance that people make remarks on as Sun is the chart ruler. And these remarks hurt Haechan and lower his self-esteem. Haechan has Uranus trining his Sun-Venus conjunction from the 7th house. He may appear fast-changing in order to not let others notice his hurt. An example that I can give you is you know how people pretend that they have moved on to something else when they can see their passion projects are failing. It is to save them faces but deep down they are saddened by the said failure. The same thing will happen to love for Haechan. He will pretend that he has found a new man or woman he is interested in when he can sense that you are not that into him. It is a defence mechanism. You can't really blame Haechan for that. I will ignore the trines Neptune makes with the Sun-Venus conjunction as its orb is too wide, 9 degrees.

Moon in 12th house Leo opposite Neptune in 6th house Aquarius: At Haechan's core, he is extremely dreamy (Neptune and 12th house together? Puff). Not in the way that you will sigh by just one look at him, but I feel like Haechan is really good at selling a fantasy to others. Not that he deliberately does so for ulterior motives, he himself believes in those fantasies too. I can't tell you what kind of fantasies these are exactly, because Moon can point to literally all kinds of inner workings happening within a person. But Haechan is definitely dreamy by nature. And his Moon is trined by the same dame Pluto-Chiron conjunction. His emotions are also impacted by the remarks that I have just talked about in the previous paragraph. But the beauty about trine is that it is a gift. Moon trine Pluto gives emotional resilience after failure and Moon trine Chiron gives the native an opportunity to heal through emotion (But the orb for this aspect is huge too, 9 degrees, so... 🤞🏻). But is Haechan okay? I am genuinely concerned.

Now, the Mercury that Haechan has is chef-kiss. I know, it is in Cancer, which is not the domicile or exaltation position for Mercury. But it is the apex of a Yod (the finger of God), energetically charged by Neptune and Pluto. Haechan naturally understand the public's subconscious (Neptune, the dreamy subconscious; while Pluto, the obsessive subconscious). He is a great artist because of that. He can use his communication (Mercury) to make something new (the nature of Yod), psychologically profound (Pluto) and mesmerising (Neptune). Another singer-songwriter that has Mercury as the apex of the a Yod is Lana Del Rey, although the supporting planets are different (Jupiter and Uranus). But you get what I mean, she is one of the greatest lyricists of our generation. Mercury opposite BML: The way that Haechan talks stresses people out. This is because he has no filter. He does not recognise some topics are considered taboos in the society. And hence, he may feel ostracised for the way he thinks. But it is a great talent that he has in provoking people by just talking. I can also feel that he may be good at dirty talk (not going into too much details of this as this is not a 18+ reading).

Mars in 11th house in Gemini loosely conjuncts Sun: Great aspects for having an alignment between what he wants and how he gets it. Mars trine Uranus: very dynamic and energetic. I can see that he values independence. He will dislike it if someone retrains his actions. He is a wild card in that sense. And I can see that he is kind of experimental in bedroom (again, not going into too much details of this as this is not a 18+ reading).

Aquarius Descendant conjuncts Uranus in 7th house: Haechan attracts and is attracted to the rebellious type of people. He himself can feel very rebellious too. But at the same time, his relationships will come and go very fast. They are highly unstable.

Jupiter-Saturn conjunction in 10th house: This is someone who is grounded (Saturn) with his aspirations (Jupiter). And his aspirations are mostly related to his chosen profession (10th house). He has a high possibility in succeeding in his career IF he can overcome his tendency to be rebellious, unpredictable, and unconventional in love matters (Uranus in the 7th house) as his Jupiter-Saturn conjunction is squared by Uranus. After his Saturn return, his career will blossom.

I hope you enjoy this reading, anon. And have a nice day!

[stateswscarlet]

Sorry this is gonna be long ;-;

I pretty much read all your threads but I was still left wondering about how the law of assumption fits in with the nuances of life. Obviously I don't think life is black and white so when the law states that our reality is created from our state, I was a little confused. There have been examples in my life where looking back I'd by definition occupy a negative state and yet the opposite of what should've happened, happened.

Take for example, when I was in the talking stage with my now ex, I constantly affirmed he thought I'd be boring and we wouldn't be a good match for each other (lowkey i have an avoidant attachment style so I was mentally self sabotaging). I constantly viewed myself as a loser and someone people didn't want and ACCEPTED that as truth. By definition I was in an unfavorable state of being unwanted yet he moved mountains to talk to me and start the convos bc for some reason he really cared and wanted to be my bf. He literally pushed through to be in a relationship with me even when I was self sabotaging and barely communicating and I was affirming negative shit. I just don't understand why I got the opposite result although a good one.

If the 3D is a mirror and is constantly mirroring my state how come the opposite happened? I had a really bad self concept that I wasn't interesting enough or enough in general to hold any kind of relationship platonic or romantic.

even if you werent aware of it, at the end of the day you did somehow somewhere accept that he likes you/other assumptions/something along those lines, you also probably were not in a state of desperation and trying hard to make it happen. we manifest everything in our personal experience via our state so its not like a whole LAW just chose not to be in effect for you. instead of worrying so much about the past, ask yourself how you can start giving yourself and embodying what you want to be now.

[manicpixiefelix]

Heir!Reader has the most incredible wardrobe that's absolutely to die for. They're constantly featuring in style magazines and people are always imitating their style.

one of the plot points is literally that everything the reader owns is 100% tailored and impeccably styled. they're canonically the best dressed person at every single event they go to.

im so desperate to talk about heir!reader, ive spent so much time so far working on it but its going to take some more time because it's gotten out of hand again hahah, but AAAAAA there's so much i wanna tell you about them

i think tho my favourite part of heir!reader has been working to still make them echo h,h,h!reader so you can see that they are the same character, just with vastly different teenage experiences. my favourite way this has manifested is in the way they still have this uncanny ability to read Felix and what he wants, even if he doesn't even realise he's putting out those vibes. (poor felix thinks its a power game of sorts and definitely thinks they have some kind of malicious ulterior motive)

[coldresolve]

A huge part of the whump being torture apologia discussion comes from the fact that people exoticize torture. It's foreign. It's something you see in spy movies and read about in thrillers. It's a pain that most people can safely distance themselves from in order to experience emotional catharsis or simple enjoyment. The thing is, some people don't get to have that distance.

It's hard for me to describe the sheer grief that comes with it all. I know a man who was tortured in prison. People who faced abuse from family so severe that it amounted to torture. Someone whose torture was to watch their friends be deliberately hurt. I wish whump writers could learn to have compassion for these people as well, even if their lived experiences are not exceptionally common or openly spoken about.

If an author portrays domestic abuse in their writing, it's generally considered necessary and responsible for them to either write the abuse in a realistic way or to state outside their writing that their portrayal of this very real issue is unrealistic. This respects people's lived experiences with abuse and prevents creating a culture of normalizing and glorifying abusive behavior.

It's most definitely not too much to ask of whump writers to uphold those same standards when writing about torture.

you have no idea how nice it is to get someone well spoken and well thought out in my inbox every once in a while. uh im on like hr 30 of being awake and kinda struggling piecing my thoughts together right now, so forgive me if i dont make a lot of sense, but i wanna say sth

the tone of your ask for some reason really hit a nerve for me. like getting slapped in the face, kind of. i think its the fact you come across really compassionate and just. calm, thoughtful in this. kinda puts my approach into perspective lol

i think im just angry about this topic. like ive got a passion for wanting to get it right, but its driven by anger and frustration. having ppl nitpick the fuck out of everything i say instead of actually having the sorts of conversations that should be had about the topic. i know me being angry edgy tantrum controversial oh whats he gonna say now guy and all that, turns people away from listening to me but i dont know how else to approach it sometimes, i don't want to make excuses for people who i feel should know better. i dont have that kind of patience i guess, at least not right now

i think that anger is like a manifestation, symptom. im angry about the people this happens to, and how catastrophic it is. angry at the people who let it happen. the systems that are built around it. people don't see how systemic torture can be. im angry that the fucking war on terror media frenzy was so effective, because your average person still fucking believes in all the bullshit. or the idea of torture survivors being "broken" like its a personal failure, like its the result of their own shortcomings when they're some of the strongest people you can meet. just all these unfair ideas about it that are everywhere. and people still somehow find it necessary to keep spreading those ideas, even if they know theyre wrong. when it doesnt add anything of value, youre not saying anything about it, youre not actually adding something to the conversation by going along with the bullshit, youre literally just entertaining yourself

i dont know how to not be angry about it, i think. thats the growth goal for me i guess, cause i know this isnt the sorta thing thats gonna fix itself tomorrow. and i dunno your ask just made me think about that, like how i handle this on a personal level. and i think itd be healthy for me to step away from the discussion for a couple days at least and just. accept that i tried to reach people this round, maybe it didnt really work, thats fine, ill try again some other time. also i am writing all this very slowly cause my skull is kinda collapsing in on itself so to speak and maybe that has something to do with me being sorta hopelessly frustrated lmfao. apologies

[catgirlforeskin]

I am the Essentialism anon.

Sorry, I am kind of afraid of making statements with anon off because I don't want to deal with controversy.

Firstly, yes, it was inspired by a post like "You say that I am a transphobe for saying that femboys and trans women are basically the same, but you are wrong! Transphobes say that your biological sex is what matters, not their gender identity. I say that neither sex nor gender are real, none of it matters, so being femboy or trans woman is not different! I am not a TERF, I am very progressive!"

Now to stupid philosophical talk.

Part of my inspiration came from the addition, but yeah, it was like this.

It's an absolutely cruel idea, at least from my perspective and experience. Aside from its inability to describe emergence of gender dysphoria, it basically excludes closeted trans people from "really" being their gender on the basis of not being socially treated as one. They do say that it doesn't matter because none of it is real, but like, there are other people who are recognized as being their gender. You can't solipsism away from it, and this framework offers nothing else. If you live as your CASAB then you participate in society as your CASAB, by their ideas. I hope that they are not stupid enough to openly say it, but if the only way to make your conception of "gender is what societal dynamics you are placed in" is to not apply it to trans people then your conception is just transphobic.

Moving on to gender essentialism. In its practical usage gender essentialism means attributing certain qualities to certain gender. Qualities that are attributed are usually based on existing conceptions of femininity and masculinity, that are based on current iteration of patriarchal system. You can pick different set of qualities, obviously, but it will not make more sense. In this regard, I think that its correct to say that gender as defined as set of qualities is socially constructed, and usually with obvious purposes.

Now, that's the reason that I am on anon, but in any other way it doesn't add up with my experience.

I don't attribute any innate qualities to gender, but I do consider gender an innate quality itself, with no additional conditions or qualities. An eidos, if you will.

A good comparison is electric charge. Its polarity and ammount influence the movement of the charged object, but it doesn't define it. The movement is defined by interaction between the particle, the electric field, and other particles. Particles with same charge can still behave absolutely differently.

The innate gender of person influences their actions through lifetime, but it doesn't define them - the set of material conditions, culture, and gendered social dynamics do. Still, it says nothing about their personality, and people with same gender can otherwise have nothing in common, and their life stories may be absolutely opposite.

Continuing the electric analogy (I literally invented it for this ask so it's raw and has a lot of unfortunate implications, but that's the only comprehensible comparison I have), the constructed gender roles and gendered societal dynamics are like magnets that move people into their socially constructed roles, and patriarchy is the set of those magnets and wires, created to power whatever machine it is currently manifested as.

While laws and material conditions are definitely what patriarchy is based on today, I think that it's daemonic effectiveness and persistence and some other qualities can't be described without analysing the ways culture and society can influence human behaviour far beyound what should be called rationality.

It is probably becoming too complicated, unfortunately.

It probably sounds weird and nonsensical, but I think that it's the only way I can properly explain my experience. My desire to be a woman was born out of pure being, it certainly wasn't born out of being treated as one in my childhood, or out of desire to be treated as one by society. Nobody realistically would think that being treated as a woman by society is desirable, especially considering that I am a lesbian and low-key gnc (which dispels the other explanation of transness). And yet it certainly is desirable for me. Not because I like it better, but because manifesting myself and actualising my gender is that important, I don't think that anybody here needs to hear it.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that the only not inherently essentialist (wow what a combination of words) conception of what makes someone belong to any gender that I was presented with was the thing about "that's how you fit in society and your experience of it". And it sucked hard and overall messed me up a lot. I said that realistically nobody would like to be treated the way women are treated, and yet that's exactly what I wanted. The experience of the most cruelest kinds of misogyny is oftentimes presented as "what makes women women", which is a no nuance radfem take, you are right, but it was more or less accepted as being the "treated" in question by my surroundings, so obviously the fact that I was (almost) never catcalled or told to do traditionally feminine labour at school or whatever in fact gave me a lot of dysphoria (and low-key guilt, to be honest), because if this experience is what defines being a woman, then what am I? And it all started long before I cracked, so it did involve things beyound just societal conditioning or whatever.

You may say that I took it to extremes, and you are right, healthy psyche is not something I possess, but the same goes to seemingly less traumatic parts of what socially constructed female gender entails. Trying to make yourself into acceptable image of a woman is certainly the experience any girl has, and even more so if she is trans. But treating this image as what does it mean to socially function as a woman definitely did a damage to me. It's one thing to get into popular media that you hate but consume to fit in or being docile the way "proper" women are and the whole other one is developing the fucking comphet.

At least now I do have the cis woman ammount of gendered trauma, you stupid girl.

I don't, like, accuse anyone who says that gender is just socially constructed of my suffering, it's just that after dealing with this bulshit and patriarchy I feel everything bad about everything even remotely like this.

(I am better now but what happened over years can't be forgotten)

None of it matters because I am what I am and so is everyone else. I am not "a man becoming a woman", I am just innately a woman placed in circumstances that are antithetical to my being, and even the proper societal definition of a woman is unfitting and traumatic, it is and it always was the experience of a woman, however weird and rare.

Just a charged particle that has to go against the current, and even then she doesn't have the designated place, even though the magnets forced her to go there.

None of it would make sense otherwise.

Sorry for incomprehensibly venting about my stupid life and strange ideas in your inbox. Feel free to call me a mysticist and a charlatan and anything you like.

A lot of that makes sense to me, yeah

To your initial point about the people who say trans women are just femboys because gender/sex aren’t real, I think most of these people do still believe in and enforce a sex binary, whether they realize it or not. The posts usually boil down to grouping trans women with femboys/traps/whatever and against cis women/tme lesbians, and the only reason to do this is if you believe in sex essentialism.

It reminds me a lot of the people who say “sexuality isn’t real, we’re all just bi to some degree heehee XP” but for gender. It’s never meaningful abolitionism, it’s just trying to deconstruct someone else’s identity and say “umm actually mine is the only real, natural one”

A lot of people also just outright don’t understand what something being a social construct means, which is why we get these stupid takes about gender. How gender is constructed in our society is political, it’s the main means of enforcing patriarchy, but like, taking that to say that gender isn’t real at all is a bit silly. It would define trans people out of existence

Also saying gender isn’t a thing to enforce a sex binary is the basis for a certain hate group everyone here loves to talk about, I’m sure that isn’t a coincidence

[etruatcaelum]

On Semblances.

As this post mentions, neither Salem nor Ozma have ‘true’ ancient magic anymore: her immense power derives from the pools of light and darkness, and when Ozma created the maidens, they sacrificed their divine gifts but awakened their aura. Both now wield powers functionally identical to the aura and dust-based magic of modern humans; the sole difference between them and ordinary humans is vastly greater experience and, in Salem’s case, the interaction between her infinite aura and her grimmness.

(That is the subject for another post, but in essence grimm flesh and atrum ‘burn’ aura and this reaction can be controlled and channeled just like dust; Salem, who is grimm, uses this to her advantage to mimic ‘true’ magic.)

And, because their ‘magic’ is really just aura trained to a level beyond what any mortal could achieve in a single lifetime, both of them do have semblances.

Salem’s semblance is less an outward projection of her self than an inward one. It developed through the slow reconstruction of her mind and soul after a long period during which she had no sense of identity and was just kind of mindlessly dreaming all the time; her semblance sparked from the need to become whole and to know herself again. What it does, in essence, is immanentize her thinking.

Think method of loci, but crystallized from the imaginary construct into a real, tangible place—in a sense, the interior of her soul, her semblance, is a realm. Not one anything like as vast or complicated as Remnant or the Ever After, but quite a bit larger and more intricate than the vaults, and accessible only through doors she chooses to open.

It’s how she keeps herself sane and also why her sense of identity and conviction are so unshakable in the present: Salem knows herself extremely well and nearly everything that defines who and what she is, she made a deliberate choice to include as a fundamental part of herself. She is capable of change—and in fact capable of changing herself very rapidly and easily, once she decides to do so—but she cannot be forced or coerced or compelled or worn down or manipulated into it. Because the only way she can change is for her to literally disassemble and reassemble parts of herself and her semblance will not let her do that if she doesn’t truly want it to.

Ozma doesn’t know that they even have a semblance, because their semblance fluctuates from one life to the next; they believe the permutations of their own semblance have all been semblances taken from the lives they steal. What’s actually going on is that their very fragile sense of self gave them a semblance that lacks clear definition because it has yet to be fully-realized. It warps and bends and molds itself into the hollowed-out masks of every host, then loses that shape once those masks crumble again to expose Ozma.

There are, however, some constants:

The base essence of their semblance is remembrance and accretion of time. It’s the grasping for another chance and the tearing pain of almost and the venom of what if and maybe then and it wasn’t supposed to happen this way all rolled into one. It’s the aching possibility on the trailing edge of a mistake. Often, it takes the form of small-scale temporal manipulation: with Ozpin, it became an ability to ‘skip’ a second or two here and an idle moment there and ‘save up’ that time to spend all at once, squeezing several minutes worth of action into a single fraction of a second. (<- Ozma still has this ability and Oscar can tap into it for a while, but after the events of V8 it fades as their self-identification as Ozpin disintegrates.)

As themself—once freed from their curse and restored to live as their own person—their semblance is effectively only half-formed: not quite latent, but not truly manifested either. They will need to find themself and know themself before they’re able to fully bring it out. In its true, unalloyed form, Ozma’s semblance is unbinding: the breaking of chains, the opening of doors, the snipped thread of fate to unleash boundless possibility.

In less poetic terms, they will be able to reach back and bring forward the moments when what is now became inescapable. Nothing can be undone, nothing erased: the past cannot be unwritten, but what they can do is create a second chance to rewrite the future, whether by literally making a new possibility that didn’t exist before or by cutting through whatever beliefs or rationalizations a person clings to to pretend that they have no other choice.

Their fully-realized semblance will turn inward and confront them whether they like it or not; toward other people it is entirely under their control. (<- It is also quite likely the one thing capable of reaching into Salem’s head and shaking the foundations of her self, by drawing out her line of reasoning for committing to those choices and asking her to walk those paths anew, decide again.)

Oscar does not have a semblance and will not have a semblance until he’s separated from Ozma. If the integration were completed he would eventually produce a new permutation of Ozma’s, but it wouldn’t in any meaningful sense belong to Oscar, because Oscar as an individual would, for all intents and purposes, be dead.

But once he’s separated from Ozma, and once he sorts out who he is and who he wants to be outside of the looming existential dread of becoming Ozma, he’ll be able to discover his semblance.

(<- Also his aura, when not subsumed by Ozma’s, will turn out to actually be orange. Like a pumpkin. Because his Ozian allusion isn’t Tip OR Dorothy, it’s Jack Pumpkinhead)

Oscar’s semblance is… essentially, a hyper-specialized form of empathy: he can take the words people say and unfold them to reveal the things they mean, the feelings they’re trying to express but can’t communicate clearly, and then find the words to articulate those things back. He’s an interpreter, not of language but of emotions. He’s able to very quickly talk through to the heart of a problem, and he’s preternaturally good at listening in a way that makes people feel seen and heard. It also has the side effect of making him almost impossible to lie to.

Even with Ozma in his head, there are traces of this latent ability eking through to the surface—his determination to connect with Ironwood throughout V7, his intuitive sense for what to say to Hazel and Emerald to earn their trust, and even earlier, his realization that Ozpin is lying and his ability to break through long enough to spill Jinn’s name: these are all inklings of what could be, if not smothered by Ozma’s curse.

That sort of rising-to-the-surface is very rare among Ozma’s hosts. With Oscar, it’s happening partly because he’s fighting so hard to hold on for as long as he can, partly because his upbringing gave him a pretty strong sense of identity to begin with, and partly because the nature of his semblance itself resists falsehood and obfuscation. Latent though it is, it still gives him a firm place to stand when he pushes back and asserts himself against Ozma’s resignation. This struggle also has the effect of deepening the potential of his semblance—in effect, training it before it even properly manifests—so that once he’s free and it emerges fully he gets in tune with it fast.

[creature-wizard]

Here's a perspective that I believe hasn't been offered by any other anons that you got. Or at least, I couldn't find, even though I was reading your blog for hours at this point. It's really engaging!

Law of assumption, Neville Goddard's ideas, and to a little bit greater extent Edward Art (the latter goes more into concepts and ideas I look for in spirituality, so I preferred reading/listening to him than Neville) have provided me with genuine, complex, eye opening and enriching spiritual experience and, whether you want to believe it or not, actual results that I have not expected.

That being said, I'm really glad that you are addressing all these issues within the community and aren't afraid to criticize aspects that need to be talked about, -- like really obvious red flags that Neville definitely pulled some stuff out of his ass, or the fact that most of these manifesting gurus are probably... just lying about things and aren't free from criticism,-- or in some cases, directly called out, like literal spiritual abuse that is rampant at this point. (Yes, loa practitioner lurking the blog and seeing this anon message of mine; I'm talking about you guilt tripping people, especially children, who are already desperate enough, telling them they have manifested fucking wars, diseases, or severe abuse they go through. Shame on you.)

I don't engage with loa community specifically for these reasons, despite that I think there is some grain of truth in ideas, and I'm saying this as someone who has been interested in spirituality my whole life, and I'm coming from my experience with other beliefs, belief systems, and religions that I looked into. This is a separate philosophical topic on its own, and I'll probably end up writing a whole a book here if I keep going, so I'll just say instead that personally for me, I found several aspects of loa to be similar to various therapeutic techniques I implement for my CPTSD. To think about it, I find it kind of ironic, because I wouldn't recommend loa to traumatized people, especially ones that still go through shit.

Anyway, I just really wanted to say thank you, and yeah, keep posting in the tag! Like you yourself answered to some other anon, by their logic they're manifesting your posts into reality, so it's on them, lmfao.

It's kind of funny to watch though. Being true to your beliefs implies not being affected by opinions of other people and being unafraid to possible criticism of your position. So, not even in the context of loa but spirituality as a whole, them being offended is most likely a projection, where they realize they have been bullshitting themselves this whole time.

I also fully agree with your observation that a lot of these people are mean girl wannabees. In my case, I managed to experience a deeper connection to the world and people around me, but as for your average loa poster on tumblr dot com, they seem to be more egocentric and detached from others than even some random Christian online. It's really gross.

This is definitely an interesting perspective, and if you managed to turn this stuff into a beneficial practice, then more power to you! I'm pretty much all for people trying things as long as they're informed, respectful, and sensible about it.