#its embarrassing as hell to be this obsessed over one guy but i also dont care i feel a strong urge to support him

[angerygoomba]

genuinely cried just now because my mom wont let me get my streamer merch.

[sk3tch404]

Yandere Donnie Darko Hcs

A/n: I finally came around to watching Donnie Darko while I was styling my hair this morning. It was so good and omgg HIS CHARACTER!!! Love it 💜 What he voices in where he rebels against authority resonates with me in the most honest and straight up sense, it's crazy.

CW: Characterizing of psychosis without research (I am in no way claiming this is how individuals who suffer some psychosis or with schizophrenic symptoms act or feel like. This is simply a work of fiction and how I see Donnie's mental state affect the scenario), Donnie is actually very tame here except for his obvious criminal record and acts of violence, and YALL HES A MENTALLY ILL TEENAGE BOY so he's a lowkey soft okay. Y'all see him with Gretchen? So caring and passionate ugh, love him sm. <33 I try to write as close to canon as possible, but sometimes that leads to really soft yans and I kind of doubt my writing. Despite that. I like to think that not all yanderes need to be possessive killing machines in order to fit into the troupe. Everyone's got their own way of dealing with obsession, and so I think I did decently with this one lol.

Proof read a few times, so sorry for wordy/run on sentences and possible wonky grammar.

I feel like Donnie is very observant and patient with his darling. He's quite analytical for a teenage boy which leads him to take time to consider the variables that weigh within your possible relationship.

Donnie is still an awkward kid, so dont be surprised when you accidentally find him staring at you for a considerable period of time in class. In school, he doesn't approach you, seeing as the setting is already suffocating enough. He'd try to catch you after school or when you two have a little bit of privacy.

He's kinda shy and clumsy at first glance--- too talkative in his speech and self-aware of his minor fuck ups. Over time, he'll be more open to what he wants with you. Donnie might not really understand how to handle love and all of its complexities, but hell try really hard to make it work.

Yeah, y'all saw how fast he dived in for that kiss in the film?... Embarrassing, but it's true that he's quite excited to show his affection for you. He'll be "so chill with it," and he is to an extent--- not too clingy at all--- but when he's around he gives you guard dog privileges. Stays at your side and defends you from any brain rotting comments made from the guys around the neighborhood. Donnie isn't much of a fighter, but he's damn well capable of planning and executing a crime if it calls for it. One count of arson, another unaccounted for, severe property damage, and murder? Don't doubt it for one second that he won't consider further acts in the future to come.

His psychosis affects him directly when it comes to you--- as it also does with most things. He already feels so shitty with how things are going in his life, Frank voicing the many thoughts he has about you day to day stresses him further. Sometimes Donnie is scared Frank will convince him to hurt you as the countdown progresses. Despite that fear, he can't keep away from you.

This distress causes Donnie to rebel more often. As he spirals down the rabbit hole Frank keeps digging for him, the anxiety that follows with what will happen to you once the world ends lingers late at night in his bed.

Donnie's main love language is quality time. He walks with you from school and chills with you pretty much wherever. He's pretty book-smart, so he'll pitch in with your projects and homework assignments. His parents don't really seem like they care what he does most of the time, so if he's given the chance, he'll crash at your place for a few before they think he's off sleepwalking or some shit.

Donnie already knows he's slipping off the rails, placebo medication or not, Frank stays to stir the pot. He's almost scared, scared to death that you'll think he's an insane lunatic and he'll scare you off. But at the same time, why be scared if it's the truth? He has evidence, the book, and his own visions. That anxiety doesn't go away when he rambles on about the six-foot-tall bunny rabbit and how that thing has led him to the method of time travel.

You're just left there dumb founded as he stares on at you with that deadpanned look. Too late to back out now. World's ending and you don't got a boyfriend. Well, you got Donnie... and Frank's there too sometimes, but either way, you're all each other's got. You don't want to be alone do you? Donnie knows he doesn't.

He trusts you more than anyone else. Yeah he's on meds, and sure he's loony, but everyone knows that already; not that they seemed to care too much anyway. He feels like he can just exist with you around. All that pent up frustration with the looming guilt of his actions festering inside can be washed out like waves on a cold shore. Of course, it's not a cure-all, but it's damn nice compared to the bone headed friends he got and the tense dinner table back at home.

He has scratch paper in his drawers that are just filled with messy sketches of you. Not sure if he'd be the type to use sketchbooks, but he is pretty organized in his own room. Donnie just finds you so easy and beautiful to draw. Art block has nothing on this boy. He hates it when his sisters barge into his room and see any unfinished piece of you lying around. They tease him so bad about it, he wishes they'd just leave him alone.

"Ooo, is this the girl you're always wasting your time with?"

"No, gimme it. It's none of your business, and get out of my room."

"Geez, fine. Not like that's the freakiest thing you got in here anyway."

Donnie wouldn't be the extreme stalking type, but if he caught a glance of you, he wouldn't be able to look away. He'd also take into account what your daily patterns are as well as your likes and dislikes. He notices your little habits like if you constantly apply too much pressure to your mechanical pencil, making your lead break. He's always have had a passive opinion on the school uniform, but you made it look good, great even. Donnie likes it even more seeing you in street wear. He takes note on your style and even thinks of taking some inspiration from it to feel closer to you.

He's sensitive in places a teenager would be in most. He's irritable and closed off much of the time, even to you if it gets bad enough. Of course, it's not your fault usually. It only makes sense to be defensive in the case of anything he may perceive as a threat, even if that means any possibility of you breaking his heart.

Donnie may be a bit shy in his advances, but what he isn't is hesitant. He's quite bold in his thoughts and feelings. While he is afraid of your judgement in particular, he doesn't mind doing many things in front of you. Your collar is crooked, so let him just fix it up real quick. Talk about something that's got him thinking? He's letting his thoughts pour out like it's happy hour. He sees no issue in doing what he wants to, so if you're feeling unsure or nervous about something, he'll be the one to do it for you. Not many questions asked unless it's got his serious attention.

Kisses are passionate and deep. (Tbh when I first watched the movie I was like, "DAMN dont eat her face- shit.") I dont know if Donnie has had previous experience or not, but he's definitely got the enthusiasm. He tries to match your rhythm if you seem to have trouble following. Not too much tongue, but best believe he's devouring your lips like it's the last 6 hours in the universe. His hands are roaming around your body, feeling the dips and curves so cautiously because Jesus, you're just rocking his fucking world. If you tell him to slow down, he will. Donnie never wants to force you to do anything you wouldn't want to.

Words of affirmation aren't really a thing for him. If he says something to you, it was probably on his mind anyway. If you say "I love you" to him, he'd be almost stunned but wouldn't have a problem reciprocating that energy. He just felt like that connection between you two was already clear enough. No need to say it so directly. Although, it's nice. He really loves and cares for you. Would take a bullet for you--- cross his heart till he dies, all that sappy shit.

If you reject him, let's just say Frank and Donnie will be speaking more often. It pushes him off the edge. Frank isn't in Donnie's head just to do evil shit, but it's not like his presence doesn't perpetuate Donnie's behavior further. He wouldn't go on a killing spree or anything excessively violent like that. He'd be hyper-focused on the time travel aspect of his situation and become more forceful in his methods. He'd demand answers to make sense of all of it. To cope with the fact you didn't want him like how he needed you. Why didn't you like him enough? What didn't he do? Actually, what did he do? His mind feels like its on the brink of breaking as he tries to rationalize all the negativity in his life. He's already done too much, his world feels like it's collapsing in on itself before the actual day could even come. You were a majority of that world, and now it's just broken.

Donnie is so distraught and confused about his adolescent experiences, he almost doesn't know what to do. The only thing to do from then on is to focus on the countdown. Time travel, and how to fix it all. Otherwise, not only would he be left alone, but you would be too. Donnie wouldn't want that for you, not ever. Even with all the pain and frustration stowed away inside his still beating heart, he would never wish to hurt you; one of the only people on Earth who didn't suck so much as everyone else did.

[bicon-crange]

can the nosey ones know abt ur crush? :3c dw if not. my condolences (positive)

yeah sure why not i cant stop fucking talking about it anyways.

iiii dont know if its necessarily a crush though!! definitely an obsession. definitely some kind of. fixation. thanks for your condolences i definitely fucking need them. TT-TT )

its like. uh. this person i know whos sooo articulate and smart and. theyre really sweet. yknow BASIC SHIT. theyre great everyone likes them.

anyways when we first started talking it was like. some kinda. there was clashing. i guess is how you could put it? but every time we finished talking i felt soo like. electrified. like buzzing. like my whole body was just shaking. adrenaline? maybe?

i really thought at first that it was just a friendly interest. some sort of.. y'know intellectual thing! you meet someone whos so much smarter than you and whos ideas are so well put together and who thinks YOU'RE interesting and of course you want to know more of how their brain works of course youre. captivated a bit yknow? thats like. normal. to feel. i think.

oh the first couple times we talked i went so nuts! i reread over our convos like a thousand times and reiterated our talks several times to EVERYONE in my house. its so actually embarrassing. but they were good convos you HAAAVE to understand. it was like. ducking weaving. it was like. some sort of mental exercise . and i thought it was like. normal. but it just kept. HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING.

and i tell you what this was a lot easier a month or so ago when i was like I JUST REALLY LIKE TALKING TO THIS PERSON!! ^_^ (<- STILL A DEFINITE POSSIBILITY) cause ugh. lately its like. ever since the thought popped in my head that this interest MIIIGHT be romantic in nature its. ALLLL DAY thinking about them its so nuts! its so constant!! its literally like a fucking DISEASE... i feel like. angry over it? spiteful? almost? it reminds me of when i had a crush on a guy in elementary school and I didnt know how to handle it so i beat the hell out of him with a lunch box.

like im over here forgetting shit left and right and messing up basic conversation skills and having heart palpitations and theyre like. fine probably. iiii honestly dont think they even think about me lol. i mean definitely not as much as i am,easy, because im totally insane and obsessive i know this.

we also dont talk so much! its not very often! so yeah im sure they dont think about me as much. im even definitely sure if i ever verbalized this it wouldnt work out. ive visualized them turning me down like 20 different ways for 20 different reasons just today. lots of reasons yknow! im mentally unwell and totally nuts, im immature and also very ugly im unable to carry out a meaningful relationship because of my chronic pain problems and various health issues, all of that is fine but my obsessive nature is really freaky,LD relationships are a no-go, they just dont like me that way, ect ect ect.

its sooo stupid. its SO middle school. they type a response to me and i can barely look at the screen. i feel SO fucking stupid its insane. im like. going to claw my eyes out of my head and chew on them till they burst. i hate it here. and its never going to be reciprocated whatsoever so im literally not even going to try.

BESIDES Y'KNOW!! I DONT EVEN KNOW FOR SURE IF THATS WHAT IM FEELING!! its been wracking my brain for a week straight!! its like. am i just fascinated on an intellectual level, am i just interested in an anthropological sense, are these just really good conversations, if this just normal friendship and im making things super weird? am i just excited that someone seems to get what im saying about what im interested in? yknow. dumb.

either way TLDR; im waiting for it to pass. either I'll sort my own feelings out or itll pass! if its infatuation, GOOD, that has a expiration date of 1-2 years so i will just box it up and not think about it and not do anything about it. ^_^ )9 and it WILL die. BUT if you know how to force that process to go along faster let me KNOW.

[screechingzephyrr]

So i finished watching the first season of CBS Ghosts, so this is the sequel to my first impressions post. My brain is preventing me from coherently creating thoughts but i know if i dont post this now i will never post it ever.

My thoughts in a big unfiltered list (sorry):

--Isaac is still my favourite character and he is going to forever live rent free in my brain. Him constantly gasping dramatically, him saying Hamilton was “fiNEee” with an eyeroll as hes battling with his love for theatre and his hatred for Hamilton. Icon behaviour. And Isaac and Nigel are so sweet and i love them so much. Everytime he pushed Nigel away i was screaming crying throwing up, silly guy behaviour over here.

--Nigels accent made me fucking wheeze as a british person, its so posh its hilarious and i love him for it

-The contrast between The Captain’s repression and Isaac’s acception is really great and i love them both dearly.

--Trevor is better in my brain now, he barely hits on Sam anymore so uncomfortableness has been vanquished and his backstory made me like him more. I like the twist and how he’s different from Julian with the fact that he didnt die in the act. Im separating them more in my head

--Jay is slightly better i guess? yeah thats it. hes allowed to exist, his and sams relationship still dont really have the right vibes for me but idk its probably just me

—Isaacs and Hettys relationship is so adorable like go off besties gossip about men but very specifically nigel

--Okay im going to be honest some of the episodes dragged and werent really enjoyable for me? maybe its because i thought there were thirteen episodes and when i was finishing episodes ten i was like hyped like “ok im nearly finished lets go!!!!” and then i checked and saw there were EIGHTEEN.

--Episodes i liked a lot / loved:

8)DND

9) Alberta’s Fan

15) Thorapy

16)Trevor’s Pants

17)Attic Girl

18)Farnsby & B

(Mostly because they had Isaac +Nigel in some of them. Also you can see the massive gap which is when i began to lose hope in existing)

--Episodes i hated:

13)The Vault

(BURN IT WITH FIRE. Elias’ ghost power made me want to scream and i had to mute it and fastforward it at on point bc my secondhand embarrassment was too strong for me to handle. The only good part of this episode was when Elias went down -into hell im guessing- and the ghosts screamed collectively. That was funny )

--The humour is really different from BBC ghosts. CBS is less subtle and very outright! i did laugh out loud quite a lot (Mostly bc of Isaac tbh. Also “Oskar is squirrel”).

i do think that its more “in the moment” type humour, if that makes any sense? like i laugh in the moment but i cant remember any jokes from it that i would reference in daily life, BUT maybe thats just because im comparing it to bbc ghosts which i had an allconsuming obsession with and can quote whole parts of episodes off the top of my head and which i influenced my parents into watching it too so we both know the jokes. so yk. its probably just me (again lol)

--also, CBS ghosts treats the Ghosts deaths in a very lighthearted way. None are very heartbroken over their deaths and many easily tell the stories of how they died. I do like this but sometimes they try to have some emotional moments?????? i mentioned this before but they literally have no impact

compared with BBC ghosts which treats each Ghosts death with varying degrees of poignancy, its very different and a nice change

— im glad i got to see more of Sasappis and Flower, theyre both icons tbh. im still wondering where Crash is?? Ive seen him maybe three or four times and one of them was in the background?

UHHH so to conclude,,, i think its a mostly entertaining show with interesting characters! Ive been rewatching a few episodes ive really liked. The episodes i didnt like as much would serve as good background noise i think.

[ssamie]

nine. “partners in crime and suicide”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentons of suicide & breaking into arcades

masterlist.        suicide freak!

"thank you for having us!" fukurodani exclaimed as they bowed. it was the end of their three-day practice match, and fukurodani was about to leave and were waiting for their bus. 

"hey hey hey!" bokuto called out. he waved his arms around, trying to get y/n's attention, all while akaashi quietly stood beside him. 

she chuckled and jogged over to the boy. "hey to you too, bokuto" she mused 

"y/n-chan! im gonna miss you!" bokuto said dramatically as he wrapped his beefy arms around her 

"i'll miss you too" she laughed "i'll be missing your awesome spikes, bokuto!" bokuto beamed from the praise and hugged her even tighter. "i know right! my spikes are awesome!" 

"you're too nice to him, y/n-san" akaashi commented 

"yeah, he's been thriving off your compliments for days" konoha snickered as he walked past  "he'll probably be down in the slumps once he can't hear you cheering for him anymore" 

bokuto pouted and rested his cheek on top of her head. "you're all so mean~" he whined 

"oi, oi, oi!" kuroo called out "bokubro, hands off our manager!" he glared playfully 

"no way!! join our team instead, y/n-chan!!" bokuto cried out as he squeezed her even tighter and swayed her around. "we already have two managers, bokuto-san" akaashi says as he tried to peel his huge arms off of her 

"we can have three!" bokuto countered 

"you can stick with two." kenma interjected. kenma stared him down, not talking nor blinking, silently waiting for him to let the girl go. 

"r-right!" bokuto smiled nervously. he let her go and sheepishly avoided eye contact with kenma. 

"kenma~" she cooed as she slithered her way towards him. "let's go out later" she suggested 

"where?" he asked 

"its a surprise, of course!" she exclaimed with a grin 

"you're not gonna kill me, are you?" 

"this is surprisingly nice.." kenma says as he pokes his mochi with his chopsticks 

y/n was sat across from him, a cup of tea in hand as she placed her mochi on his plate. "right? this is the usual restaurant the agency goes to" she said with a small smile 

kenma nodded and looked out the window as he chews on the sakura mochi. his cat-like eyes watched the cars and people pass by the streets. it was nearing night time, and the sky was slowly darkening, causing the street lights to turn on. 

"so, y/n.." he trailed off 

"hm?" she hummed back 

"why-" kenma stops himself, subconsciously letting out a tired sigh as he watched her pour some suspicious liquid into her drink. 

"what the hell are you doing?" kenma deadpanned as he watched her happily mix the contaminated tea. 

"shh! let me have my moment, kenma-kun!" she shushed him she giddily grasped the cup and brought it up to her lips. 

"y/n, stop that!" kenma exclaimed as he took the drink from her hands 

"what did you put in this?! it smells like death in a washing machine!" kenma gagged. he scrunched his nose up as he poured it out the window, emptying the cup before placing it back beside him, so she couldn't reach for it. 

"kenma! that was my suicide potion!" she cried out childishly 

"your suicide potion?" kenma deadpanned "that's stupid. please don't-" 

"dont worry though, i brought an extra one just in case!" she exclaimed "although it's just the chemicals so it'll probably sting my throat a bit" 

"how about you don't drink anything at all" kenma sighed. he shoved a mochi in her mouth and snatched the small bottle from her. 

"i thought we came here to have a peaceful meal, not so i could watch you die" he said "plus.. there's something i've been meaning to ask you" kenma said "but you just ruined the moment." 

"aw! are you finally agreeing to the double suicide?!" she asked with a huge grin. she took his hands in hers and intertwined their fingers together. "is that why you took the drink from me?" 

"you wanted to drink it together, didn't you?!" 

"no."

kenma shook his head and stared at their hands. more specifically, her bandages. "i wanted to know why you wore these bandages all the time.." he muttered 

he looked up to meet eyes with her. though, he soon panicked and frantically bowed his head in apology "i-i mean, if that's okay with you!" he shrieked "it's totally fine if you don't wanna tell me.." 

kenma gulped as she continued to stare at him with her (e/c) eyes and an unreadable expression. she then chuckled and pulled her hands away, stuffing them in her pockets as she leaned back on her seat 

"well, why do you think i wear them all the time?" she mused 

"um.. for injuries?" kenma replied, though he wasn't so sure of his answer 

she hummed and nodded along, not confirming nor denying it. 

"um, maybe for style?" he asked "though, you'd look perfectly fine without them" he said 

"would you like me not to wear my bandages?" she asked him 

"um well, no" kenma shrugged "i think it'd feel weird and new if i saw you without them" 

"maybe you just like bondage." she suggested with a straight face 

"i what??" kenma spluttered as a soft pink hue covered his cheeks "where did that come from?!" 

"i dunno, kenma-kun" she shrugged "maybe the reason you like seeing me in bandages so much is because-" 

"i don't wanna hear it." kenma groaned 

"also.. ʷʰᵒ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵍᵘʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵈᵃʸ?" he muttered bashfully 

she raised an eyebrow curiously as she asked him to repeat the question. 

"i asked.. who was that guy the other day?" kenma said much louder, much to his embarrassment 

"oh." she mumbled. just then, an evil grin formed on her lips as she giggled tauntingly. "oya oya~ why do you ask, kenma~" she teased as she poked on his cheeks 

"i- no reason, okay!" kenma exclaimed

he puffed out his reddened cheeks and looked down on his lap, letting his hair cover his face as he tried to ignore her teasing remarks "i just heard that he was your 'old partner' and i got curious" he said

"and how did you hear that, hm?" she smirked "were you spying on me?" 

kenma paled at the realisation of his slip up and groaned "well no- okay, kind of.." 

"we were just curious so we followed you.. but we stopped after you left the cafe" he admitted 

"hm, well his name is chuuya" she said with a fond smile "he's like a tiny chihuahua, and will probably bite you if you touch him" 

"oh.." kenma muttered "you guys seemed close..does he work for your agency too?" he asked 

she chuckled and shook her head. "no, no. quite the opposite of that, actually" 

"we're just old friends, i guess." she shrugged "we met at my old job"

"your old job?" kenma raised a brow "i kind of can't imagine you doing anything else, to be honest" 

"i mean, i wouldn't have believed you even worked as a detective if you didn't tell me yourself" he said with a soft laugh 

"well then, would you like to guess?" she asked with a smile. kenma blinked back, nodding as he pondered over his answer "well, i guess you could've been a.." he trailed off 

"um.." kenma groaned in frustration. he stared directly at her face, trying to think of a job suitable for her and her personality, though nothing came to mind. 

"dont bother burning your brain out, brat" a voice chimed in 

"yeah, y/n's old profession is still a mystery to us" another voice said 

kenma, along with y/n, looked back at the door to see kunikida and atsushi entering the cafe 

"oh! atsushi, weren't you aiming for the reward?" she chuckled "watch out, kenma might guess correctly before you!" atsushi panicked and rushed over to their side "was he close to the answer?!" atsushi shrieked 

"nope! but you can join the guessing game if you want!" she exclaimed with a cheeky grin 

"gladly!" atsushi exclaimed, pulling out a chair and setting it between them. "but just for context.." atsushi trailed off "the reward is still in tact right?" 

"yup! 700 grand for the correct answer!" she said with a laugh 

"700 grand?" kenma muttered "is the answer really that hard to guess?" 

"YES! THE ONLY PERSON WHO PROBABLY KNOWS IS RANPO-SAN AND-" atsushi cut himself off as he finally got a good look of kenma ".. youre that boy she's been obsessing about.." atsushi sweat dropped 

"y/n-san.." atsushi sent her a knowing glare, which she responds with an offended scoff 

"you hurt me, atsushi" she sighed "i asked him out, and he said yes! i didn't force him this time!" 

"what do you mean 'this time' ?" kunikida scowled "are you really pestering the poor boy?" kunikida said "sometimes it's like you're asking to be hit" 

kenma blinked as he watched them interact, slowly starting to feel awkward as the man in glasses continue to scold her while atsushi went back to guessing. 

"writer?!" atsushi guessed "nope!" 

"researcher!" ; "nooo!" 

"journalist!" ; "boo!" 

"fortune teller!" ; "wrong!~" 

"interpretor?!" ; "non, non~" 

"its all too random.." kenma commented as he, too, tried to think of the right answer 

"actor?!" atsushi shrieked "no! but.." she trailed off, placing her hands on her pink cheeks "that's flattering!" 

"y/n.." kenma muttered out. he reached over the table to tug on the sleeve of her coat. she screamed internally from his adorable act and faced him "yes?" she asked 

".. i wanna go to the arcade" kenma said with a pout 

she, quite literally, had to slap her chest repeatedly as she felt her heart beat faster. "kyANMAAA! YOU'RE SO CUTE!" she squealed "of course, we can go!" 

"well then, atsushi-kun, do you yeild?" she chuckled as she picked up the check from the table "well, i can't think of any more.." atsushi sighed defeatedly 

"then you can take our check!" she exclaimed as she sent him a cutesy smile. she shoved the bill into his hands and skipped away to the exit with kenma's hand in hers 

"wait! i don't have any money-" 

"bye-bye~" she waved as she closed the door 

"now then, let's get to that arcade" 

"y/n this is closed." kenma said with a sigh. they were currently standing infront of an arcade, obviously already closed, after walking for about half an hour 

"i know, kenma-kun! no need to state the obvious" she mused. she licked her lips as she continued fiddling with the lock, brows furrowing from concentration as she picked it open with a simple hair clip 

"so then why are we here??" kenma grumbled "we could've went to other ones that were open. and it's getting really late, you're lucky my parents aren't home for the week" he said 

"silly boy, it's not closed if the door is open, right?" she chuckled as she pointed to the arcade doors

"i wha- did you pick the lock?!" kenma whisper shouted  "this is illegal! we're literally breaking in!" he hissed out as he tried to run away 

though, she simply grasped his wrist and pulled him inside. "its fine, kenma! we'll just leave a note to the owner" she laughed carefreely "besides, it's not that big of a deal! we'll still pay for tokens!" she said with a smile 

kenma worriedly tiptoed inside, squinting his cat-like eyes as he tried to adjust to the dark. he slightly winced as bright, and colorful lights suddenly turned on. 

"oop- i found the power switch!" she announced "now then, what game should we play first.." she hummed to herself as she eyed each game

"this is it. i'm gonna die. we're gonna get arrested and i'll rot in the prison. thanks a lot." kenma chanted out. he nervously sat down on the seat infront of the screen which showed 'tekken' 

(bro i've never played that game before, and what do you call those huge metal box things with the games in arcades wtf ♀️)

 "i got tokens!" she exclaimed as she sat on the one across him.

"this is so wrong" kenma said with a shake of his head though despite that, he still reached out for the token and continued to play. 

after some time of pretty much trying out each game and tiring themselves out from the DDR machines by performing some embarrassing choreos. 

"okay, i kinda want that one" she said as she pointed to the cat plushy "why? there's one here that's so much bigger" kenma said as he pointed to the kuromi plushy which looked like it could swallow them whole 

"this cat looks like you." she defended "im gonna name him kyanma, won't that be cute?" 

"plus if we get this, we'll have enough tickets to get that game you want" 

staying true to her word, they didn't break or steal anything. so technically, they didn't commit a crime, right? well, only if you scratch out the breaking in part.. but that's okay. they had fun and that's all that matters, alright? 😃

"fine.." kenma mumbled as he plucked the plushy and the game off the shelf 

they threw the tickets on the counter, flashed the cctv cameras one last peace sign, and left. 

"i can't believe i just did that" kenma muttered out with a laugh "but it was fun. thanks for that, y/n" he smiled at her 

she blinked and stared at his side profile as they continued their walk home. "it was fun, yeah.." she chuckled 

"so.. how's it feel?" she mused "first crime in your record! do you feel like a misunderstood punk teen now?" 

"no, i feel like a criminal." 

"same thing!" she beamed with a grin 

she locked their arms together and gripped the plushy with her free hand, letting it dangle by her side as they walked "i just realized something.." she gasped 

kenma raised a brow and side eyed her "what is it?" he asked 

"we're now officially partners in crime and suicide!" 

"sure" kenma chuckled 

[psychosassicvampire]

ok the people want details about the skate park au

@pixeliis​ @futuristicwormsociety​ come get your food

its all very fast and loose but these are a handful of my concepts [proceeds to unfurl a scroll about as long as todd is tall]

- yes dirk actually skates and he’s not tony hawk but he’s decent

- todd is mesmerized by this anyway because we are starting off on s2 levels of “dirk is so important to my life” adoration. in reality dirk is fairly awkward and dorky but todd just has sparkles in his eyes about it. also dirk has cool jackets which more than makes up for a lot of awkwardness especially in the eyes of your bi peers

- todd does NOT skate (yet). he takes an adolescent amanda to the park so she can skate because she’s badass and cooler than her brother and he sits on a bench nearby to draw or carve mindlessly into things or does some spray paint graffiti and tagging while he ‘babysits’ per their parents’ request. eventually dirk rolls around and befriends amanda as his fellow skate park buddy and todd is starry-eyed about him from afar. he secretly draws dirk in his sketchbook sometimes.

- amanda catches on to her brother’s crush and she keeps trying to set them up. she’s 11 or 12 and it becomes one of her personal missions. young girls are extremely tenacious in their goals. meanwhile todd is shy and has dreadful self esteem with both girls and guys so he resents this.

- dirk occasionally leaves his jacket with todd at the bench and asks him to watch it for him while he skates with amanda - dirk gets along with kids well. todd can almost never speak in response to his requests but he usually nods his head hopelessly about it. at some point dirk asks todd why he doesn’t skate too. he’s just embarrassed to try something new and says he can’t. dirk calls bullshit and takes it upon himself to teach todd and get him used to being on a board. they do have to hold hands for this sometimes. todd falls a lot. hence the pink bandages. amanda gets a habit of yelling “KISS HIM” across the concrete at random intervals of their nearness which todd apologetically waves off as his sister being weird, oh you know how sisters are, and please shut up amanda.

- neither of the siblings have pararibulitis at this time nor have either of them lied about it yet. they can skate and get injured to their heart’s content... for now.

- i have to credit theo @drawyourgunsr5​ for the basis of the family feud which adds our romeo and juliet flavor. dirk’s family has recently come over from england and are wealthy enough to have bought out the business that the brotzman’s parents used to work at, and they have since lost their jobs. the brotzman family has been falling on hard times for it since, and the parents resent the gentlys for it. when they find out dirk is a gently, and that he frequents the local skate park, they are furious. eventually the brotzman parents bar either of the kids from going back to the park, though todd blows them off and does so anyway. dirk hates his own family and their claustrophobic expectations on him as their heir and would rather run away and be a rebellious skater wannabe, spending ridiculous amounts of his parent’s money on leather jackets they dont approve of and spending time with the mall rat kids. so he is on tenuous ground with his own family.

- todd is 18 so he technically could just run away from home and the tension therein but he’s sort of a third parent to amanda because the parents have to work so much at various part time jobs to make ends meet they’re almost never around and he doesn’t want to abandon her.

- dirk could also run away from home and nearly has plans to, though his consequences for doing so would be costly. later on when dirk and todd are finally in the realm of acknowledging their crushes on each other under flickering lamplight on the concrete, still warmly radiating the heat back from the summer sun, dirk admits he would give up everything his family has to offer him, all of the money, all of the influence in high places, to be with todd, and that todd is the single most important thing that has ever happened to him (spoken with all the naive drama of tragic teens in love and also sound of nothing).

- todd isn’t so confident about a dramatic escape being the best move, and he’s especially not thrilled about giving up a potential for security. his family struggles a lot and in the back of his mind he knows he or his sister could have a pararibulitis onset attack any day, and being out of money doesn’t bode so well for any of that. he loves dirk for dirk, but he also knows that while money doesn’t buy happiness it sure as hell can make life more possible. he’d rather try to keep things copacetic with the families if he can, at least initially.

- they meet in secret often, and on one or more occasions dirk has climbed into todd’s window unannounced. separately, dirk has invited todd over to his place and had the bright idea they both climb in through a window there too, whereupon dirk tells todd to push his bum to make him go up. (his own house is harder to climb into and he is a fool.)

basically theyre obsessed with each other and theyre stupid and i was like yeah but what if our boys had more piercings and looked like they woke up after sound of nothing more often (because this look changed me)

and then i realized i could do what i want so i did and i am

thank you for attending my self indulgence

[tigerdrop]

okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message

[simply-ellas-stuff]

My thoughts on Zack Snyder's Justice League because I watched it

The opening sequence, bc even tho the repeated scream audio was stuipid this opening was better

The new meeting between batman and Aquaman - that drawing on the wall in the og was unnecessary

Diana's extra badassery

The design of Stephen Wolf, because now he actually looks scaryish

The Queens emotions about losing her sisters of Themyscira - QUEENS DON'T JUST SEND THEIR PEOPLE INTO BATTLE EMOTIONLESSLY THESE SCENES WERE NEEDED - FUCK

THE BIGGER WITH IN THEMYSCIRA WHY THE FUCK DID THEY CUT THAT OUT?! - oh right, its because the previous director is sexist as fuck,

Stephen Wolf's Daddy Issues because that's fucking hilarious

Bruce explaining his want to find everyone bc of his promise

The close up on the fly things because that actually made it scary

THE FUCKING LIGHTING CEREMONY IN THEMESCERIA HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT

Diana's extra badassery after getting the Arrow because WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT CUT?! This explains SO MUCH about how Diana knows SO MUCH about a time she wasn't alive in and I have NO FUCKING CLUE why it was cut!?

Arthur Curry is a Stripper - Confirmed!

Arthur and his trainer talking, but idfk why they kept the bubble thing Although I do like that they clarify that it's not just Mera who can do that bubble thingy

The scene between Stephen Wolf and the stone-wall dude person was cool and it explained why Stephen Wolf was so desperate

Zeus, Ares, and Artemis prepped for battle along with Poseidon in the flashback was FUCKING AWESOME!!! Diana's Aunt as well, the shows of the Green Lanterns, and the ring returning to the planet [Although they should've named Artemis, bc she can easily be mistaken for Athena - Also; Artemis' roman equivalent in the goddess Diana ]

Darkseid being in the flashback, which explains a lot

The Gods vs Darkseid was FUCKING AWESOME

Barry's awkward rambling after running into Iris

ALSO IRIS FUCKING WEST!!!

The Big Belly Burger Reference, nicely done

My dad says Iris' car is beautiful

BARRY SAVED IRIS BITCHES

The slow-mo crash gave me anxiety

My dad says, "I know you got all the time in the world but c'mon this is ridiculous" about that scene then "That beautiful car..."

THE SCENE WITH STEPHEN WOLF AND THE ALTLANTIAN MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK DID STEPHEN WOLF KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOTHER BOX IN ATLANTIS

Do. Not. Make. Diana. And. Bruce. Romantic. Don't. Fucking. Do. It.

The use of slow-mo is kind of redundant

Victor being fucking AMAZING even tho he's getting in trouble at school

Victor and Mama's discussion gives some life to the 2-Dlike Cyborg from the og movie, WHY THE FUCK WAS IT CUT?!

Victor's inner-world where he's still fully human

Barry being sarcastic as fuck towards his father lmfao

"Very attractive Jewish boy"

The reference to Grodd YAAAAAAAS

I still hate that Barry's lightning is blue and not red

The explanation of the Speedforce and Snacks

"What are your super powers again?" "I'm Rich" Still one of the best lines

I love Diana's shirt in the scene with Alfred

"Looks like you have a date, Ms. Prince" lmfao - Unless his name is Steve, I doubt it

I feel like Victor and Diana would be a good brother/sister duo, ngl

Burying the fucking box at your mothers grave was the stupidest shit I have ever fucking seen Victor.

COMMISIONER GORDON HELL YES

Barry's utter fail at being normal around Diana

The underwater click-like dolphin speak was cool, but still kinda dumb knowing that later Aquaman speaks underwater just fine - ngl

Nice Liquidkinetics, Mera. Amber you're still a cunt.

Also, Mera says her parents died - Wasn't her father alive in Aquaman??

Victor seeing the bat-signal explains how he knew how to find them, honest

The badass entry of Bruce, Diana, and Barry makes me laugh

Barry is far too close to Bruce

Victor scared Barry LMFAOOOO

If Victor's father is the head of STAR Labs where the fuck is Harrison Wells?????

THEY LEFT BARRY BEHIND, ASSHOLES

Diana's annoyance at Barry running ahead is such a Mom thing

Stephen using the bug thing makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE

Diana trying to make a plan and it getting ruined fits with the exasperated Mom theme she's got going on.

THE SONG HEN DIANA GOES AGAINST STEPHEN WOLF, THE FUCKING VOCALS ALONG MAKE ME HYPE AS SHIIIIIIIIT

"I Belong To No One" I FUCKING LOVE IT

HEEEEEEEEELL of a push Barry lmfaooo

"Thank you Alfred" "Don't mention it" Mans is bored of your shit

"Sword Lady" LMFAOOOOOOO

Diana's x-move thing against Stephen Wolf YAAAAAAAAS BITCH

Diana saving Barry's ass - Accurate!

Victor taking over the Crawler makes more sense this way, honest

OKAY YOU AN ACTUALLY SEE AQUAMAN IN THE WATER AND IT MAKES IT MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE

That jump onto the crawler was smooth as fuck Diana!

Stephen Wolf getting visions from the boxes also explains a lot about some shit

"I know the requirements, I wrote them" Suuuuuuubtle lmfaoo

Victor brining the box them also fits better

Why is this Stone looking mother fucker speaking Latin?

Hello Darkseid, you look particularly dramatic this evening

Victor's explaining how he knows about the box makes a lot of sense, why was this cut again??

Actually explaining the fucking Mother Box was Helpful

Mrs. Kent and Lois having a heart to heart holy shiiiit

Martha talking about how Clark's death was drowned out by Superman's - wooow

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH MARTHA'S EYES IS THAT J'ONN J'ONZZ?! THATS THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER HOLY FUCK IT'S J'ONN J'ONZZ

Ironic that Ezra-Flash's hero is Superman while Grant Gustin's hero is superman lmfao

Diana and Arthur chatting was cute, the quote was awesome and the Atlantians totally copped that quote from the Amazonians

Alfred being a sarcastic fuck is my favorite

Alfred being the voice of reason, as always

Arthur helping Barry pick a hat is AMAZING

Diana telling the boys to change, mom or big sister?? lmfaoo

Barry's social awkwardness gives me second hand embarrassment

This little infiltration arc makes SO MUCH more fucking sense

Every one being suited up and triggering the alarm is amazing

Mr. Stone fucking trusting his son is my faaaaaavorite

THE SUITS ACTIVATED AND CAME OUT WHEN CLARK WAS MOVED PAST THEM DUDE WTF

IS LOIS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Barry looks like he's about to throw up

BARRY HAS ALREADY TIME TRAVELLED THAT LINE SHOULDVE BEEN KEPT IN

Arthur being antsy about not doing the resurrection makes so much sense

VICTOR SEEING A POSSIBLE FUTURE IS THE BEST SHIT

I love vision-Diana's Norse burial

EVIL VISION-SUPERMAN DUDE CMON

THE MISUNDERSTANDING MAKES THIS WORSE AND BETTER AT THE SAME TIME

HE REVERSED TIME WHEN HE RESURRECTED SUPERMAN WHAAAAAAAAT

The Military arriving was a sensible addition

The fancy ass dramatic ass arrival of Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg when Superman gets to the monument is hilarious

Victor loosing control is the woooooorst

The Lasso of Truth almost got through to him but he's a stubborn fuck

Superman functioning in Flashtime is something I will never understand

Yeah lets shoot at the guy whose indestructible, right

"you should probably move" LMFAOOOO

Batman v. Superman part 2 insert eye roll here

headbutts like children - and that's cheating on the playground Clark.

Heat vision makes so much more sense than "do you bleed?"

Lois coming in cluuuuutch

I like Lois' appearance better than Alfred bringing her, it fits Lois better

Arthur and Barry now have rivalry lmfaooo

Mr. Stone being obsessed with the mother box is annoying as fuck

Mr. Stone is an idiot and he should've fucking left the box alone

That was a horrible death why was that necessary?!

Arthur being a pessimist in this movie is honestly hilarious, tho why is he anti-love??

Barry being surprised at Batman's richness is never not funny

"I'll take that as a yes" okay Clark, don't show off

IS LOIS PREGNANT OR NOT?!

"Its really me Ma" Best scene of the whole fucking movie

Barry and Arthur heart-to -heart "I thought you didn't car" "I never said that" BUILD THIS FRIENDSHIP

BRUCE TELLS DIANA OF THE VISION

Bruce talking about faith never bodes well

THE QUEEN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL

"uh with the power of love" "Barry" LMFAOOOOOO

THE KRYPTONIAN SUITS LOOK AMAZING

Since when does Superman have Geokinesis??

I LOVE HOW BOTH OF HIS FATHERS ARE TALKING TO HIM I FUCKING LOVE IT

THE SUIT UP SCENE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IT LOOKS AWESOME

"just have to knock a little louder" Well, that's one way to knock Bruce

Nice crash boy

Straight up sounded like "Loud and queer" lmfaoooo

Diana leading the teeeeeeeaaaam Hell Yes!

I do miss the "I think we're all gonna die" lasso-Arthur scene tho. it was stupid - but funny.

DIANA COMING IN FOR THAT SLICE AND DICE BAYBEEEEY

THE TEAM SHOOOOT YES totally taken from Marvel but fuck did it look good

"you really are out of your mind" says the idiot who talks to fish

"not done yet" vs "your welcome" I like the second one better

Glorious hair Arthur lmfaoo

Fucking chair eject

NICE SHISH-KA-BOB ARTHUR FUCK

Alfred doesn't even fucking blink when Clark arrives

ARTHURS TRIDENT DOES THE WAVY THING ON LAND TOO BROOOO

Oh yeah, step back for the demi-god princess

DONT PISS OFF DIANA AND DO NOT USE HER FAMILY TO FUCK WITH HER IT NEVER ENDS WELL

The familiar flash buildup power ring will never not make me happy

Daaaaaayum Diana!!

Nice catch Arthur

Diana knows her mother and sisters are alive bc they sent the arrow to her, so why is he even trying it??

NICE SAVE SUPERMAN!!

"Not impressed" Smooooooth

THAT FINAL BATTLE IS FUCKING AWESOME

TIME TRAVEL

BADASS DIANA WITH THAT DEPCAPITATION

You sent Today at 5:44 PM

Them all standing there was straight up "Fuck with us, I dare you"

The epilogue was great but that dream was confusing, are we doing Alt-universe shit??

MARTIAN MOTHER FUCKING MANHUNTER BITCHEEEEEEEEEEZZ

IS LOIS PREGNANT OR NOT?!

[jimimn]

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

[smellysluna]

The one where Luka is a clown | Fictober19 #1

Prompt number: 「 one 」“It will be fun, trust me.”

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Luka Couffaine & [YOU]

Rating: T (Teens And Up)

Warnings/Tags: none

Summary: you’ve always had a crush on him bcs he simply was your type but nothing really happened unitl You & Luka get set up as project mates

Side note: I know that it’s the twelth of october but i just started it, i’ll write some more for fictober but i’ll use the prompts as i see fit bcs i’m just like that so yeah. anyways i hope this makes some kind of sense, its been a long time since i finished something i began writing. okay so i also wanted to write luka because there’s not many fics with him with an “x reader” tag. okay talk over, enjoy the story babes!!!!

"Hey."

I turned around in my seat and smiled. "Hi, Luka."

"So... how'd you wanna do this?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Do what?" Luka shared an amused smile. "Oh!" I face-palm. "The project! Right." I picked up the notebook with my notes from my desk and slammed it on his desk. Then I rotated it in his direction. "This is how we're going to do it."

"Wow, you've really thought this through already."

I rest my face on my hand and smirk. "It's no coincidence that I ace my presentations."

"I guess I'm lucky then."

"More than you think." I straighten my back. "Okay, no funny business tho. You fuck up and I'll make you suffer all the way to June. Take a picture of them notes so you have a copy and have a slight idea of what's going on."

He puts up a half-amused smile, "this ain't my first rodeo."

"But it's your first bullfight, so keep up." He laughed and I bit my lip. I might've gone overboard. 

"I'll do my best," he assured in a soft voice. Holy shit. He's so mellow. As soon as I was sure he had a picture of my notes, I took his phone. I entered into his contacts and added my number then dialed myself. 

I show him the screen of my phone. "Now we have each other's numbers." He smiled before I turned around just in time for the teacher to get in. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I was watching dessert recipes on YouTube when I received a message from Luka. The popup appeared from an Unknown number which reminded me that I forgot to add him to my contacts.

"hey"

     "hi"

    "what's up?"

"i went through ur notes"

    "yeah?"

    "they're amazing, aren't they"

"u made those in class"

"how???"

"they're too good"

You sent an image:

Unknown sent an image:

"anyhow"

"i wanted to know when you want to get the project finished"

"i thought that you'd want to finish it asap"

"u look like you have a busy schedule"

    "i'm free whenever, really"

    "but i don't want to finish it in one go"

    "so we'll spend a couple of days on it"

    "if u dont mind that is"

    "btw you give me too much credit"

"right"

"it's fine, yeah"

"more time to clown around"

Unknown sent an image:

    "> AUDIO (laughter)"

    "IM DYING"

    "WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY"

"i took clown courses in my childhood"

    "where's the diploma huh?"

"wait, lemme look"

"wait"

    "ur serious???"

"photo(clown certificate)"

    "I CAN'T BREATHE"

"clown code: never joke about being a clown"

    "AND HERE I WAS"

    "THINKING YOU WERE THE COOLEST GUY AT SCHOOL"

    "BUT ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE JUST A CLOWN"

    "I WAS SO FOOLISH"

    "ur now officially added to my contacts as clown boy 🤡"

"coolest guy huh? ;)"

    "don't let it get to your head, clown boy"

    "as much as i'd love to know about your clown career, i have to go make dinner"

    "we'll talk more about it at school"

    "don't vanish on me"

    "i'll snap my fingers into Thanos' ass if i have to"

"right 😂"

At dinner, I couldn't stop thinking about Luka. We might've never talked much to each other but I always had the hots for him. He was just my type: tall, supposedly long hair for a boy, dyed hair, punk-like feel and especially (these just get me going) those black gauges in his ears. Anyways, I'd lie if I said I never got distracted in class because of the smell of his cologne.

"Thank you for dinner, [Y/N]," said my mom after she cleaned the table.

"Don't forget to do the dishes, love."

"Yes, Dad," I chuckled.

"We're off to bed, then. Goodnight, [Y/N]."

"Goodnight, mum. Goodnight, dad."

That night, I fell asleep thinking about how nice that chat conversation with Luka was.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I groaned loudly when I got into class. I ran because I was late for geography. When I got to class, the lack of a teacher at the desk made me want to kill myself. My classmates were scattered around the classroom in groups, as usual when a teacher was absent. Done with life, I walk to my desk, drop my backpack and accommodate my face on the desk. Suddenly, somebody is standing next to me. But I really just wanted some sleep so my first intention was to ignore whomever until well, it's self-explanatory.

"Looks like someone spent all night thinking about me."

"What!?" I see Luka. Now fully energized and heart pumping, I stutter: "No, no. What are you even saying?"

He laughs and takes a seat on the vacant spot in front of me. He rests his arms on my desk. "I'm just messing with you, wanted to see the reaction I'd get out of you. I wasn't expecting to fully wake you up." He smiles broadly and I stare into his eyes.

Have you ever met that person, no matter who they are, their eyes are so enthralling that you just can't help but keep staring at them? These kinds of eyes just have something... Something I'm unable to describe. And when I stare at them, they're so glossy and shiny.

"I think you'd look amazing if you wore eyeliner."

"Huh?" Half of his face moves upwards in sync. "That's very random."

"I mean, yeah." I look away, fidget with my bracelet and then look back. "I just thought it'd bring your eyes out even more."

"Ooh," he exhales knowingly. "Because they're blue, right?"

I knit my eyebrows together. "No," I say offended. Had this boy never realized how nice his eyes are?

"Why then?" He asks and nods his head onto his arms.

"Well," I lick my lips, "I don't know." I shrug "It's not because of the color, which is beautiful just so you know." I caress my arm and try very hard to maintain eye contact, occasionally looking away. "Your eyes, I don't know, they just have something."

He smiles at my words, "look who's talking."

"Not a clown, that's for sure." He groans in a boyish way and it melts my insides so warm I almost let it show.

"You won't let it go, won’t you?" He lays defeated on my desk, arms sprawled.

"You did that to yourself." He hummed in a way that seemed a mixture of displeasure and annoyance. His long hair was sprawled in every direction of my desk. I could tell that he washed his hair either last night or this morning —it smelled so nice. Luka smelled really nice and I couldn't help but bite my lip to restrain myself from sniffing him all over like I was some kind of dog-bred. I started playing with his hair and it was so much softer than I expected it to be, it was dyed after all. He let a pleasurable groan slip through.

"Does this bother you?"

Luka abruptly opened his eyes and forced my head to rest on the desk as well. With very soft caresses he ran his hand through my locks and I understood what it was that he intended.

"What about you?"

I stared into his eyes for a moment and closed them, then resumed playing with his hair as he did the same. We were so close, I could hear his silent breathes. I wondered if this could be considered as cuddling. Honestly? I didn't care because I was enjoying it.

"Hey, guys, look at [Y/N] and Luka."

"Woah, when did that happen."

"Never thought [Y/N] liked that type of guy."

"You're kidding, right? Luka's definitely her type."

We spent the rest of the hour like that. Somewhere in between, the rest of the class noticed us but, frankly, we paid them no mind. But it made me anxious. Not because of what they said but about what Luka might've thought about it.

"I kind of like this," he whimpers softly as if scared he'd break whatever we had going on.

I agree with him softly, just as scared to ruin the mood.

When the bell rang, we hesitantly broke apart. Luka returned to his assigned seat behind me and then class started. The moments the teacher repeated subjects the class already went through, Luka played with the ends of my hair.

After the school bell rang for the last time that day, Luka approached me. He asked if I wanted to start on the project today. Luka was so cute while he asked. He didn't do anything particularly cute but the way he looked when he leaned on the wall had sent me flying. Obviously, I said that it was a good idea. Not desperately, of course, even though I wanted to grab him and steal him away. I kept my cool.

"What time?"

He grimaced to hide a grin. "I was hoping, like, right now?"

"Uh, well... On any other particular month, I'd agree and take you to my house. But we're getting reformations done so it's a very big mess."

"We can go to my place." He states like it's a universal fact.

"But all my shit's at home, and I'd want to empty my backpack, grab some money, etcetera."

"Okay, I get it. I can take you home and we'll head right over to mine?"

Even though I might pass out any moment out of pure embarrassment, I cross my arms in an 'X' in front of his face.

"No way that's happening, clown boy."

"What? Why?" He frowns.

"No way in hell I'm letting you drive me on your motorbike."

A small laugh escapes his lips. "You've never been on a motorcycle?"

I act displeased.

Luka laughs with a hand on his stomach. "You haven't!" I scowl and his laughter subdues. He waves his hands in front of him and apologizes for laughing. "I'll be careful, just for you." He assures.

"Even if I agreed... I doubt you'd have a second helmet. And we all know that police officer which has an obsession for the law."

"I got us covered on that one, I have two."

I stare at him. "You had this all planned out, didn't you?"

"No," he grins, "it just happens to be that I usually pick my sister up from her school."

"Oh, so she's gonna have to walk all the way back to your house. We can't let her do that, can we?" No matter how much I crush on Luka, anything that can get me out of sitting on that devil's contraption, I'd go with.

"I said 'usually', didn't I?" I can feel his smirk soaking right through me but in a much more softer tone he said "it'll be fun," and smiles "trust me."

It was his goddamn smile that convinced me to agree.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"I never knew you could live in a boat."

I looked around the main deck and, for some reason, I felt very lightweight and free.

"You don't like it?"

"The contrary, I love it!" I smile at him, "it adds to your charm."

Luka smiles back, "thanks."

Both of us walked inside the boat. I took everything all at once. You rarely get the chance to be inside a boat-home. But the most surprising thing was that it was stable —at least more than I thought.

"My room's the one at the end. Get yourself comfy —I'll be right there."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "Okay."

Once I get into his room, I relax and take a look around. I leave my backpack by the door and head straight for the most valuable thing to me in his room. Luka had one of the nicest guitar stands available on which laid the most basic electric guitar ever... but since looks can deceive, I pick it up.

I make myself comfortable on his bed along with Luka's guitar and a guitar pick I snatched from the wall. Without thinking twice, I started to play. It didn't matter to me that I hadn't plugged the guitar into an amplifier, this particular tab didn't need the magic of electricity. I suppose I should have asked first if I could play but it's too late now-

"That's 'Lonely Day', right?"

"Ah! Shit! Sorry!" I stood up hastily, the guitar pick went flying to the floor and I placed the guitar back where it was supposed to be. I turn to him to apologize, "I should've asked-."

Luka walks past me, grabs the guitar by its fretboard and puts the strap around himself. He shuffles around me and I was too confused to realize what he was doing. Then he hands me the guitar fully-tuned-connected-to-an-amplifier guitar. He lifts it by the fretboard again and hands it over to me as if telling me to take it. I stare into his eyes and do exactly that.

At that moment, we didn't need any words as I accepted his silent offer. I strum dumbly and then start fidgeting with the knobs on his amplifier. I bite my lip, it doesn't have as many options as mine and it's smaller than the one I have at home but I managed to get the right sound.

I started playing a song that I had played countless times and felt very confident. This moment was about impressing Luka and I was determined to blow him away. But the moment I started playing, I couldn't keep up the cool-girl act and grinned as I played around the room.

"Wow," he said amazed after I finished. "I never knew you played guitar, let alone that well."

"I'm amazing, I know," I wink.

"What did you play?"

"You don't recognize it!?" I gasp loudly. I put my hands over my heart. "Oh, my heart! It hurts! I have never been so hurt before!"

He holds back an embarrassed smile. "Guilty as charged."

"It's Crowd Chant, by Satriani," an exaggerated sad smile adorns my lips.

"Oh, right! The guy from 'Surfing with the Alien'!"

"Yes, that one! I love him, he's my idol!"

"He's good."

"Good? He's a GOD." I pout at him. "Your idol is Jagged Stone, that's why you have so little appreciation for him."

"Right."

I playfully punch him. "Just kidding."

"I thought I was supposed to be the clown around here."

I laugh very loud at that. "Yes! I will - haha - leave - ha - the rest to you."

During the week we were making the project we had gotten really close and we kept hanging out at each other's houses even when the project was long ago finished. I met his very cool mum, and his sister, who is physically exactly like him but both of them don't seem to admit it. And he met my small family too.

"I keep telling you! You do look alike! Genetics is no joke."

"I agree with [Y/N]!" Juleka's friend said one day over dinner. I can't remember what her name was but I always thought there was more than 'friends' between her and Juleka.

"We do not look alike; you both must be very blind," Luka jokes and I pinch him very hard. "Ow! Stop!" He pinches back.

"No! Luka! That was payback for yesterday!" He stuck his tongue out at me and I growl. "You're very mean."

He shrugs, "whatever you say, [Y/N]."

"Oh, 'whatever I say' it is, is it?" I crossed my arms and pondered without breaking my staring contest with Luka. "So if I said you're ugly, you'd agree?"

He smirked, "sure." I felt how triumph tasted and literally a second later I tasted defeat. "But it won't affect the fact that my eyes have 'something'."

I became a blushing mess and everyone at the table stared at us.

"So..." Juleka started, unsure. "Does that mean that [Y/N] confessed first?"

Juleka's blonde friend nodded, "I knew it!"

"I'm happy for the both of you," Mrs. Couffaine cheered with a very sweet smile.

There was a problem with their cheers which made Luka and me quite uncomfortable. It was wrong. Nothing had happened between us.

"It's...! It's not like that!" I attempt to defend ourselves and turn to Luka. "That's not what that was, right, Luka?"

He was looking in the opposite direction, scratching his crimson red neck. "I mean..."

I hide my face in my hands. "Oh my God, I want to kill myself."

"You know what? We will leave you both to work out whatever misunderstanding there might be, okay?" And with no answer, all three of them left.

"Let's go outside." With no warning, Luka took me by the hand and guided me to the main deck. It was chilly outside and I shivered but kept it to myself. "Here." Luka handed me his jacket.

"Thanks," I smile and put it on. It still smells like his cologne.

"About what Juleka said..." He avoided my gaze by looking into the river. "I might've told her that I like you," he turns to me and takes my hands, "a lot." Luka squeezes my hands out of nervousness. "The way you and I understand each other, without any words, just the music is enough. I feel like we're connected through it like we are the power-chords to any rock song."

My heart was melting, I always knew deep down that Luka's a very sweet romantic and he was killing me with his cuteness. I never knew you could look cute and hot during a confession. "Luka, I-"

"Remember when we sang 'Anything better than you'?"

"Yeah."

I recalled the memory. At the end of the song, when the part that goes "I can sing anything sweeter than you" our lips were so close... I couldn't stop thinking about it before I fell asleep every night.

"I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I just couldn't do it." Luka pulled me in and we were as close as that other time, my heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. "Until now."

Luka kissed me and I kissed back. We kissed each other so desperately and I ran my hand through his hair. Fuck, how I loved the softness of his hair. We break apart for a kiss and stare at each other's eyes, dumbfounded. We kiss again except this time it wasn't as desperate. It was softer, a kiss only Luka could make amazing. Luka had thin lips but made up for it with the way he kissed. I wanted to kiss him more, I wanted more from Luka so I kissed him harsher. Then he broke apart the kiss, clearly taken aback from it.

My heart stopped, "I... I'm sorry-!" He cut me off by kissing me harsher than I did and I loved every second of his harshness. I began feeling his neck, his back, his chest and pushed myself closer to him as every second that passed it became hotter.

We broke the make-out apart. Our flushed faces appreciated the cool night breeze. We keep wrapped around each other. "I think we should get back inside."

I listened to his pounding heart through his chest. "Not yet, clown boy."

"Whatever you say, love."

[thefivenights]

corpse, business man, and mother dearest?

i put it under a cut bc william is doing that blood tear thing again and i warn to read the tags because i dont just do those willy nilly and if i missed one please tell me so i can add it on!

Inspiration: I'm gonna be honest I have no idea

Micheal was a product of a drunken night between Jennifer and William and the direct cause to their marriage. Takes more after his mother in attitude and most of his looks.

While he had a somewhat better relationship with his father than William did with his own, he didn't have a healthy one. He craved any sort of attention or praise from his dad and soon resorted to bullying his siblings to get some form of attention. He never got any regardless and was told to 'try harder' and he'll be rewarded.

This bullying stopped after he shoved his brother into Fredbear's mouth and got suspended from school due to a nasty fight. This was partially due to being traumatized and also William allowing him to help out with his projects (aka Jen told him to and the couch wasn't comfortable)

He gained a talent for robotics and was even the one who made BonBon for Funtime Freddy

He had no idea until the events of Sister Location that the robots were made to kill, or that his sister was killed by Circus Baby. He genuinely thought that Elizabeth just ran away again.

Moved away from the house after his mom said William wasn't coming home again. Part of him was relieved.

Went to therapy and finally realized that his dad sucked and he can break this toxicity that seems to curse the guys in his family (well, most of them)

Got healthy male role models in the form of Henry and his Uncle and made some friends in the neighborhood

Curiousity kills the cat when he gets a message from an unknown number recommending a job at Circus Baby's Pizza World that featured some familiar faces (he was overjoyed at seeing bonbon again but not when funtime freddy was also involved)

When he took over the role of Mike Schmidt, it was less a new name and more of the actual Mike Schmidt needed to leave town for safety reasons and Micheal offered to just take his place at the pizzeria so he could focus on skedaddling (win-win)

Was unaware of Springtrap/Scraptrap being his dad until he spoke, and then Henry let Micheal have an extra taser because he refused to do his work without it handy (eventually it was agreed that Micheal would be allowed to have metal bat because he kept breaking his computer with the taser)

Grew close to Henry after the move and working with him made them closer, Micheal got a father figure and Henry got to care for someone again (to the point where they sat next to each other in the final moments)

Returned from the dead to assist other spirits with animatronic ties with the task of moving on, regardless of whether it was because of his father or not. Is assisted by his brother who took the form of Fredbear in what he finds to be the darkest joke Louis has ever made

Inspiration: I always think of the Clown from dbd but that's very loosely related but its a lot of the dbd killers tbh

Was always that kid who had animal skulls in his room, or knew just a little too much about medieval torture methods

Had a horrendous relationship with his father that was physically and mentally abusive

Was more or less raised by his older brother (who isn't that much older mind you) and his doormat of a mother, who he cared for dearly

Has only used a firearm once, and it was to finally rid the house of the monster that hurt everyone inside, he hasn't touched one since

Was forced to move to America by his mother after his brother convinced her that he killed her husband

Was favored by his mother over the elder sibling and was effectively free from punishment

Met Jennifer after she threw her stuffed rabbit his face with enough force that she made his nose bleed, she apologized but wasn't sincere ("He looked at me funny Ma!")

Was a little bit unnerving to be around but still managed to make a few friends when he was younger in the form of Henry, Jennifer, and a kid named Casey who went missing (and before anyone asks no he had no hand in this)

Was obsessed with robotics and made a promise with Henry to make robots when they got older

Learned how to play guitar so he could impress Jen, ended up embarrassing himself and also fell out of a tree. Surprisingly, she found this charming and asked him out (while also laughing)

Got wasted on his 21st birthday and take a wild guess what happened that night

Came up with the concept for Spring Bonnie thanks to Jen's stuffed rabbit and even helped make the springlock suit itself

When asked by Henry why he did what he did (aka murder) he just laughed in his face and started talking about freeing them from the monsters while also referring to himself as one. No one had any idea what he was talking about but managed to escape getting the police called on him. He had no reason other than he knew he could get away with it, figured he might as well play tragic villain to amp up the guilt

Probably should've gotten therapy after the move but never did

Genuinely cared for his children but had an obvious favorite in the form of Elizabeth (who wasn't even his)

Figured ignoring Micheal would keep him from patricide but just made things worse

Figured out quickly after a head count during that party with Circus Baby what happened to his daughter and made off with the animatronic as soon as possible, lying to his family that she ran away again but would turn up eventually

Has never laid a hand on his children but was unaware what total ignorance towards them would lead to

After the Fredbear incident he at least paid more attention to Micheal, if only to prevent the boy from shoving his daughter into another bear mouth

Is an excellent cook and good at drink mixing

Never really got along with his own brother but at least respected him for what he did (including the biggest cover he was ever given)

After Micheal made his intent to bash his dad's animatronic face in clear, he decided that Micheal was no longer a child and free to attack (he did get tased and also bashed with a bat a few times before being dragged to hell)

"I may kill children but at least I respect my son's pronouns"

Inspiration: an older friend of mine

Jennifer was always a rebellious child, and an oddity in her mother's eyes

On that note, the two never saw eye to eye on anything, and clashed daily

Resolved to never become like her mother and succeeded

Had a stuffed rabbit named monster truck that she liked to throw at people (namely the new british kid in the neighborhood who looked at her funny)

Was best friends with a kid named Casey Fitzgerald before they went missing

Chopped her hair off at the age of 15 and basically told her mother to suck on a lemon (but with more swearing)

Generally a delightful little child /j

Raised Micheal in a tiny apartment with her then boyfriend before they got the house they raised Louis and Elizabeth in

Saw the situation Elizabeth was in and pretty much just adopted her on the spot (there was some extra hurdles but they got their daughter in the end)

Was the one who actually raised the Afton children due to William being both busy and inattentive for various reasons

Wasn't perfect in raising her kids but was certainly better than her husband

Took dance lessons when she was younger and encouraged her children's creative behaviors

After Elizabeth "ran away" she found out about William's previous... activities and devised a plan to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone ever again

She told him what she found but mentioned that she was just disappointed in how careless his plan was in terms of the four main animatronics having his face saved in their systems, meaning it wouldn't be long until the police were at their door

When he returned home from destroying Freddy, she insisted it was better to do it all in one night to prevent suspicion, however this almost gave her plan away when he mentioned it was stupidly lethal. She succeeded when he still went back stating that he was smarter than most people

When he never returned home she told Micheal to pack his things and anything else he wanted to take with him, they were moving to another state so they could have a fresh start. She waited til he was a bit older to explain why William never returned home

Encouraged Micheal to get therapy and tried her best to give him a balanced home life. This became easier when Will's brother decided to step in and help and the duo became good friends (what also helped was that he was a teacher at Micheal's new school)

Warned Micheal to be wary about the new job at the pizza world and when Micheal finally rid himself of Ennard she gave him a place to stay while he figured out what to do about his situation

Helped Henry and Micheal set up the fake pizzeria and even wrote up fake lawsuits and ads

Is still alive after all these years out of pure determination to outlive any form of her ex husband

[jessironi89]

WELCOME!

Welcome to my bitty shop! Here I have quite a few bitties up for adoption. Be sure to check all of them out and hit me up with questions if you have any.  Nightmare Bitties: 

TealMare: As close to original Nightmare you will probably get. He is a mean bean but there are times where they aren’t as mean and you gotta take what you can get with them. They do still feed of negativity but positivity doesn’t necessarily harm them it just makes them grumpy and if you’re lucky they will get used to it and just get flustered or embarrassed at your niceness. This one loves apples. Surprising? nah not really.

PurbleMare: These ones are not as mean and are pretty neutral when it comes to how they act around you. They do have an unhealthy obsession with herbs and spices so you will most likely catch them in your pantry trying out all of them to see if they are good enough for their owner. They also experiment on combining spices and making a new spice sometimes to. Probably really enjoys cooking and if taught how would be a big help in the kitchen.  Favorite food is…….well any herb or spice they find.

GreenMare:  This is a good bean, with some anger issues. They love their owner and will do anything for them including getting angry at someone for being rude to you. Or will be ready to tear some asshole a knew one after you have a hard day at work and come home to vent. He will throw tantrums if he doesn’t get his way. Dont give in he will stop eventually just let him get it out his system and after he will most likely just cuddle up to your neck and go to sleep. His favorite food is sour patch kids candy. 

RedMare: This adorable little sad bean likes fire. No he loves it. He might be a little pyromaniac so be careful. Even so he is very loveable and needs all the cuddles to keep him from being to sad. Has bad anxiety so comfort and take care of him with all the care in the world and be patient as well. Favorite food is sugar cubes. 

TeableMare: This little hybrid is just adorable and very loveable. Can be a bit clingy so be careful where you sit cause you never know where the baby will be clinging to you from time to time. He loves to help you stay organized and will probably do as much cleaning as the small can for you just to impress you however he can. Favorite food is chocolate. 

Pinkmare: This little cutie is very loveable and loves to cuddle. Most of them will love you right away but there are some occasions where they are a bit skeptical. Dont worry though they will love you in time. Favorite food is strawberries. 

Orangemare: This one is a bit of an adventurer. You might catch him climbing around your furniture or even up your pants leg and shirt. He loves to seek out new adventures and if he is around other bitties will come up with fake little stories and adventures for them to go on in your home. Favorite food is anything citrusy. 

Yellowmare: This one loves anything shiny. jewelry, metal bottle caps, coins. Anything that reflects the sun and sparkles. A little bit of a hoarder you may sometimes find your shoes filled with stuff he finds and tries to hide or keep put up for later. Favorite food is pop tarts. 

Blancamare: A rather quiet Nightmare bitty. This one is also a bit more protective and acts more like the leader or parental figure of other bitties. He wont let anyone in your home that does not belong there and will also take care of other bitties you have when you are not at home or if you are busy. Favorite food is skittles.  Borrors (Horror Bitties) :

Each of these Horror bitties are tale bitties that were abandoned on the streets…. But, they tend to be aggressive at first for Sanses, but gradually calm down a few days in if you continue not to lash out. Each one id different in their own way and their soul magic varies per bitty. Once you earn their trust you will see each soul color sparks a different personality and shows just how caring they can be.  The thing is you have to gain their trust over time and you must be patient in doing so. Food also helps, keep them well fed and away from sharp objects until they trust you, then its just to protect you.Each one is treated and kept healthy here at the shelter. Each cracked skull has been fixed though some do not want it so that may vary depending on the bitty you adopt. They are also some who are pretty self conscious about the crack so they keep it hidden in their hood most of the time.In the end these bitties have been through hell and back and deserve a loving and caring home where they can grow and learn to love again.

Billers (Killer Bitties) :

These is the Biller set of Bitties. Each one represents each version of human souls.

PERSERVERANCE Biller: These bitties are very smart. The smartest of the other bitties to be exact and they really love to read. Reading is what you will see this bitty do a lot of and they will also probably as you to read with them many times. They also really enjoy stories so telling them stories would make their day. They could also help with any financial issues you need help with as well. Favorite food is grapes.  JUSTICE Biller: This bitty is just a bundle of joy and loves to play games like cowboys and Indians or laser tag. Anything where he can use fake weapon they are all for it. They can get a little anxious at times but all around are very caring bitties who learn how to use medical remedies to take care of other bitties and even their owners. Favorite food is lemons.  BRAVERY Biller: These little fighters love to spar and fight. They are big hearted beans who just enjoy a good rough housing sometimes. They are pretty tough so when you play with them you can be a little rougher then normal . If you aren’t you might end up with a pouty bitty who just wants to play with you. This one is a bitty who is in constant need of some sort of stimulation. Toys are very much recommended since sometimes even you cant play with them for to long due to other matters life throws at you. Favorite food is hotdogs.  PAITENCE Biller: These bitties are pretty much the essence of patience. They dont let much bother them and are pretty laid back. They love to accessorize and enjoy to change their wardrobe quiet often. They have quite the fashion sense and just love to look their best. They are probably your best bet at fashion advice when getting ready for an event or date. Favorite food is cookies.  INTEGRITY Biller: These bitties love music. If they get to upset or emotional music is always a good way to calm them or make them feel better. You may also catch them dancing if you’re lucky. Once they get used to you then youll catch them sleeping on your pillow or on your chest. They are like a cat and only want attention when they want it. If they aren’t in the mood you will probably get hissed at before they go about their business. Favorite food is sushi. 

KINDNESS Biller: Probably one of the sweetest bitties youll ever meet. Loves to cook for their owner and will love you unconditionally no matter what. Which could end up bad if they get a horrible owner. They love to cuddle but really love to cook with you or sit around and watch tv. Favorite food is eggs.

DETERMINATION Biller: These are full of Determination to just constantly cling to you like a koala. They need snuggles a lot, if they are deprived for to long they can become a small touch starved anxiety. If you feel you are going to be gone for a little bit to long make sure your bitty either has a companion bitty or has some sort of plushie to cling to till your return. Favorite food is twizzlers. 

KitKat (Error!Fell) :

Now this little edgy bitty loves to bite. And I mean loves to. A really good thing to get for this bitty are plenty of things to chew and knaw on. Ya'know something other then your fingers or shoes or….whatever else he would get in his mouth. 

Personality wise the Feller bitties can vary but they are mostly just very iffy about who touches them as well as very aggressive to those they are not sure of yet. It takes a while to gain their trust but once you do you have a friend for life. Feller’s are very cuddly and love to cuddle and snuggle. In fact before you do get their trust it is recommended to get them something to cling to while they sleep. 

Favorite food? Well they love spicy mustard and pretty much anything chewy. Gummy bears, pocky sticks anything they can crunch on or chew with their teeth is a good idea. They are also pretty nosey so if you have something you dont want found make sure these little guys dont know about that because they will go out of their way to mess with you by going through your stuff. 

Blueberror Bitty:

Blueberror bitties are now available! Each one will have its own personality when adopted so it will be at random. You wont know what his personality is until you adopt one so. Try your luck with this cutie! Cross Bitties: with xChara

without xChara

Cross bities are now available! Some come with xChara and others do not. Take your pick! Personalities may vary per bitty. Good luck!

[azrcxlfatale]

under the cut you’ll find saint’s intro, its just a brief run down for now until i get bio pages up but it should help get a sense of the boyo all the same !! he is gentle and friend shaped is all i can say ajjdfg. THIS HAS NOW BEEN UPDATED WITH LIKE FIVE EXTRA LIL MORE CURRENT HEADCANONS! [ they r just like for his own growth nothing major has happened with saint and he’s still fundamentally the same as he was bc he’s always been a more laidback and less tragic muse but feel free to read em bc they do help contextualise how he’ll be career wise and with grandmami] : 

   CHWE SAINT: 

so for the best part of his life saint was raised with his ‘grandmami’ as he terms her, but she’s better known to the whole island as ajumma solmi. for this reason he’s very doting toward her and a real grandma’s boy. he bakes with her often and they can often be found on street corners selling cheap priced but some of the finest flowers to the citizens because it’s grandmami’s tradition and its mostly done in hope to uplift the islanders and bring joy to their day in a small way and act of love. 

when i say doting i mean doTInG, he will help her in and out of chairs, help her cross streets, hold the groceries for her as she crosses, open doors for her even if grandmami insists he stops fussing because ffs saint ur making me look ancient and i’ll have u know i am still fighting fit and could knock any idiot on his ass with a fliCk of my finger. ajdhf. she is v fiery, if saint is like the picture of elegance and good manners then grandmami is the sTARK contrast. she has one hell of a potty mouth and just a no time for ur shit attitude. if anything saint is keeping her in line, not the other way around. 

his quirk is warp gate. he rlly just uses it to entertain himself mostly and help give his pals quick escapes when a prank of some sort has gone wrong. he can basically create portals out of a dark fog which can either be emitted through his breath or openings at the end of his fingers which he can activate, anyone can also use his portals to travel so long as he’s given them permission.

he just exudes sunshine rlly. is well known round the island for his out of this world smile which has been known to charm many. he is a very eligible and sought after bachelor but saint is like...not interested mostly bc he just like has no romantic awareness ahdhfhf not bc he doesn’t want it. and also bc he doesn’t like the way it’s mostly super young girls and guys just like awestruck by him. it feels a little too much like he’s a collective childhood crush by his groupies so yeah he is OBLIVIOUS. 

very humble and incredibly polite. just really down to earth whenever spoken to but being raised by an elderly person kinda makes u a little outdated, for this reason saint is kind of demure and bad at conversation mostly due to the fact he can easily talk for hours about his plans for baking with grandmami later, the book he read her this morning, the lovely walk they took in that gorgeous spot which he rlly recommends etc but he is god awful at talking about like typical young people stuff. 

lot of ppl think he plays hard to get, this is not true, saint just fr does not know how to fuckin speak and is the most oblivious person in the world to how to flirt, he’s easily flustered but bad at knowing when he’s being flirted with or if this person is just rlly nice and is usually too shy and respectful to rlly push luck by flirting in response hfhfjkg. USELESS. 

very 70′s/80′s aesthetic bby boy, sweet summer child. he is obsessed with old classic black and white films, had a collection before he moved to the island which he misses like everyday but luckily he has memorised ten million quotes. also collected records. obsessed with anything retro, is a collector of gaming merch. but he didn’t get to sneak much to the island :-( the only thing he rlly snuck was a small record stash. liked roller skating, bowling, drive in movies. dresses very retro but refined and classy with lots of layering. rlly good knowledge of classic literature. 

most likely to find him at the arcade in the funzone now on the island, he is a master at all the games but esp the old retro ones, usually goes early morning or late evening so he can spend hours uninterrupted on them and beat his high score everyday a bit more. if not there then he’ll be at zen’s computer gaming instead. he likes all tech really but prefers retro, he’s still figuring out modern. before coming to the island he was rlly getting into VR. if he’s not in either of these places, he’ll be on the beach in a volleyball match or doing a jog. still v much into his sports. 

ultimate sike power cause people think he looks like ur typical jock fuckboy but jokes on u he is pure of heart and dumb of ass himbo just blessed with ethereal looks, he is the breed of good lil boyo and that is all. 

obsessed with milkshakes and popcorn at the diners if he’s ever there u can guarantee that is what he is snacking on or treating himself to. his weakness is churros he fucken thinks that shit SLAPS. he’ll do anything if the prize is churros.  sMH someone help his diet. also loves fiddling with the jukeboxes there ajdjd. 

has two pet geckos one is peach colored and called zelda, the other is black and white leopard spotted and named zeus and he also has a chonk of a fluffy grumpy white cat called yoshi. he is the best. saint is a huge animal lover but probably still not on nyx’s level of dog worshipper. 

weeb. not as big of a one as nyx but he likes haikyuu, kuroko no basket, given, fruits basket, free! and yuri! on ice. he is very into anything that is slice of life or sports anime. 

has the nickname ‘koda’ bc of the movie brother bear, nicknamed after the lil baby bear cause he just reminds people of a baby bear ahdhd. 

he studies art, spends half his life in the studio working, big art nerd. once he gets in the work mode, he just does not stop for anything but water and snacks and goes at it all day into half the night. usually does big projects bc he loves a challenge. mostly paints, sometimes sketches. u know those vids of people mixing paint colors like a swatch of gold and turquoise? saint fuckin loves those so bad unf he does that all the time to calm himself. 

still lives with grandmami currently, he’s looking at getting his own place bc everyone tells him if he ever wants to have his own life then he needs to but he’s just v anxious about leaving grandmami on her own bc she getting older by the day and she’s all he has sO she cannot get hurt!! 

also in a bit of a dilemma with his art bc he kinda wants to make something out of it, like maybe teach some classes sort of thing and use it more as a career but right now he does not have the confidence in his ability and is mostly just doing it for fun and as a calming thing ( he’s an idiot he’s rlly fucken good pls someone make him take himself seriously )

never cusses but does say bitchin a lot, only ever uses fuck in bed basically so if u ever hear him say it then u know something next level has gone down bc saint refuses to swear even if he stubbed his pinky toe.

looks like a cinnamon roll but HE FUCKS!! boy is a kinky freak however saint has no shame or embarrassment like he will discuss it as casually as a discussion of what to have for dinner not bc he is like lewd but purely bc to him its rlly natural and like another form of art and he does not get the embarrassment or secret nature of it all like it is just factual to him that we come into the world like that and ppl enjoy it sometimes ajsj. 

gardening enthusiast!! has a fascination with studying plants and insects tbfh. still uses 70′s and 80′s kewl kid slang like unironically someone help him pls. sjjdjf. cute bonus fact: has freckles all over his shoulders and down his back. UWU. 

COUPLE OF CONNECTION IDEAS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD??: 

i would love for him to have a muse for art and/or to be someone’s muse. also and maybe interchangeably someone to kinda be his art mentor and be like saint u could pursue this fr if thats ur dream, then do it pls share this talent dont let ART DIE!!

someone he does gardening and insect studies with who gets his nerdy enthusiasm over it. 

a regular who gets flowers from him and grandmami, maybe he makes a special bouquet for them every day which always has a different meaning in the flower language bc he is soft like that ajjfl

someone who he can take on loads of cute lil platonic diner dinner dates bc he is a huge foodie as we can tell. this one is super fun like I imagine they scam tf outta restaurants that are over priced and for the elite by being like we all kno married couples or people getting engaged, celebrating anniversaries etc tend to get better deals on their meals. so he’s essentially doing this one bc he likes ur muses company and enthusiasm for food but also bc it means cheaper high quality meals for both and a guaranteed good time.

someone to nerd out with him over classic literature or films bc that would be hella cute

maybe someone who is also close with his grandmami and rlly loves spending time with her as well so he kinda trusts them to take care of her and trusts their judgement when they r like saint chill let the lady live okay go and do ur own shit akskf

he usually jogs alone but it would be cool for him to have someone to do that with and like table-tennis and shiz cause he just loves fitness activities and active leisure stuff too. 

maybe someone who is tryna teach him a little more about how to uH TALK LIKE SOMEONE HIS DAMN AGE AND STOP BEING SOME RETRO MAN STUCK IN MODERN TIMES AJDJD

UPDATES:

so a lot about saint hasn’t overly changed because like he just is and has always been a very wholesome laidback boyo but just a few bits of like additional info for his personal growth can be added:

he’s owner and manager of the florist now, grandmami is also there most of the time and handles a lot of stuff when she’s feeling up to it but with her getting more tired more easily from her illness saint needs to head everything really.

he grew up in a neighbourhood on hosu which like consisted of his entire street pretty much being full of his aunts and uncles so now like it’s a street just littered with all his tiny cousins who like to follow him about everywhere and play ball games etc on the street with him and kinda take it over shs. you can hear their joyful playing from like streets over it’s very cute.

his mother gave him up when she realised she was pregnant with him and too young to raise him and that it would hinder her from pursuing the life she wanted with his father. saint doesn’t hold any resentment for her choice, it only bothers him that his grandma has always had a serious illness since the early days of talks of her having no choice but to take him on and that despite this his mother allowed him to be left to her care and another burden on her when she was already so ill.

grandmami is now at a point where she’s hanging in there but she won’t have long left and saint is essentially now her live in carer till her final days which is hard af for him but he refuses to let it show. he’s not sure how he’ll function when he loses her. right now he’s trying to extend the florist business into a wellness one as well and more of an apothecary so he can keep himself stable and busy.

this is more just a cute fun fact but he’s a Christmas Eve baby. uwu lil boyo was born on the night before Christmas bc of course he was sdjdj.

[lizzienaut]

*breathes in deeply* Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Neville, Hedwig, Hagrid, Sirius, Filch, Cedric, McGonagall, Lupin, Mad Eye, Lily, Trelawney, Oillvander, Cho, and Petunia- *collapses and wheezes* *caramelldansen plays faintly in the background*

wOAH THAS A LOT OMGTHANK YOU FOR THE ASK ITS GONNA BE UNDER THE CUT EE

Harry Potter: Tell us about a scar on your body

okaY so i have a really tiny scar like right beside my left eyei got it in like fourth grade when my class was walking to swim lessonsim a clumsy dumbass so i trIPPED ON THE SIDEWALK AND FELL FACE FIRST INTO ITthe metal part where like,, the arms of my glasses connected to my frame DUG INTO MY TEMPLE AND CUT IT INTO SMITHEREENS i bled all over my teacher and you bet your ass i scream-sobbed 😎

Ron Weasley: Something you’re afraid of?

im afraid that at any moment everyone that im close with is gonna suddenly be like “haha pranked” and tell me theyve always hated me and then leavei haveabandonment issues whoopsiesbut for reaL my deepest fear is that people only like me out of pity and that once they get bored of me they’ll justdump mei dunno a lot of people have left me without an explanation and it just likereally hurts dude sometimes it makes me think there’s something wrong with me

that got really sad

im also really scared of the dark and loud noises!! ajkfsdf

Fred Weasley: Can you do any magic tricks? What is the best one you can do? If you can’t do any, what’s the best one you’ve seen?

MY FAVORITE SHOW WHEN I WAS YOUNGER WAS MAGIC’S BIGGEST SECRETS FINALLY REVEALEDthe masked magician looks DOPE AS HELLaltho the narrator and his obsession with women kindaweirds me out thinking back on it BUTi always liked watching him cut people in halF :O

George Weasley: What is the best prank you’ve ever played on someone?

OH OHwhen i was in fifth grade the charlie charlie challenge was big popular still and my group of friends at the time wanted to do it so i set it up and they asked a question and nothing happenedand so they asked anotherand i really subtly blew on the pencil and it moved and everyone collectively screamed and it was the funniest shit ever i am a prank master(tm) bow before me mortal

Neville Longbottom: Tell us an embarrassing story.

okay so like i gush about my friends a lot rightand i gush about iven a lot right i refuse to tag you because this still really embarrasses me and it happened like forever agoso i would talk about him a lot to my super close irl friend ~*~m~*~and ONE DAYWHILE ALL THREE OF US WERE IN A CALLTHIS FOOL DeCIDES TO SUDDENLY TELL HIM EVERY fUCKING THING IVE EVER SAID ABOUT HIM aND I LITERALLY LIKEMUTED MYSELF AND THREW MY EARBUDS ACROSS THE ROOMoh my GOD you have absolutely no idea how red and frantic i was i was gonna slaughter her AND THEN TODAY ONE OF MY OTHER FRIENDS stARTED TELLING HIM SHIT IVE SAID AND I JUSTPLEASE NOi cant even describe the feeling of pure unadulterated dread that courses through my veins every time someone’s like “oh haha by the way ___ cass said...”I DONT KNOW WHY IT EMBARRASSES ME SO MUCH BUT IT DOES HHH

oh but wait yall are here for tickles arent you so ill throw in a quick mini bonus storyone time during drama my whole class was sitting around each other in a circle and i was sitting beside one of my friends, who i was annoying the shit out of becos im a huge brat, and i dropped something and i bent to pick it up and she suddenly slammed her hand under my arm and started brutally murdering me in front of everyone and didnt stop until i like shrieked out an apology not like shriek but quiet scream beg sdjgskfg

Hedwig: If you went to Hogwarts, what kind of pet would you bring? (ex: cat, owl, rat, frog)

KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KI

Rubeus Hagrid: What is your favorite mystical creature?

mermaiDS!! mermaids are babes!! i wanna be a mermaid!! OR A SELKIE selkies are so pretty maN

Sirius Black: Have you ever been accused of doing something you didn’t do?

yeaH all the TIMEand when nobody believes im innocent its just so upsETTING AH

Argus Filch: What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

ive actually!! never had a job before oopsBUT UHive been out on the job with my dad before delivering food and god damn people can be such assholes to fast food workers lmao

Cedric Diggory: Have you ever had a near death experience?

YEAH MANY TIMESmy favorite time was almost getting hit by a double decker bus

Minerva McGonagall: What is your favorite spell?

tiggle spell

Remus Lupin: If you transform into any one animal or creature, which one would it be?

K I T T Y

Mad Eye Moody: Who is the bravest person you know?

my mama!! shes gone through so much and shes so strong an i justi love my mommy im sorry 😔

Lily Potter: What color eyes do you have?

blue!! :D

Professor Trelawney: Have you ever dreamt something was going to happen and then it happened?

OOOi had a dream that some guy that i had a crush on in like seventh grade was gonna break up with his girlfriend and it happened a few days later and i was like

😎😎😎

Mr. Ollivander: What would your wand look like?

pretty and pink next question

Cho Chang: If you were on the Quidditch team, what position would you play?

probably chaserim not quick or attentive enough to be a seeker and being a keeper would be p harD BeCOS AGAIN IM NOT FASTmaybe i could disrupt everyone else as a beater butchaser it is :o

Aunt Petunia: What is your favorite flower?

roses!! roses are so pretty i love them so much

[shapeofmetal]

So like how and when did Longarm reveals himself to Spidertank? What kind of role and job that Spidertank gets with joining the autobots?

As I am too lazy to type this up properly here is the conversation I had earlier today with @starscreams-tiara about how its gonna go down

I dont want to say IDK but like

argh

now I’m thinking about it

in this version its not just a one night stand they actually start dating

hmm

you think their first time having sex or like during an invasion after theyve been together for a while

whats more dramatic

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:18 PM

GOD I MEAN

Invasion after they’ve been together definitely has the super drama

CyanideOreoToday at 4:19 PM

but that would mean she wouldnt assume he was just disguising himself for her

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:19 PM

MMMMM THAT’S FAIR

CyanideOreoToday at 4:19 PM

she would figure out oh he was spying for these guys

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:19 PM

yeah so I guess go with their first time having sex

And then maybe they get back together after an invasion

when she already knows and learns that he was spying

CyanideOreoToday at 4:20 PM

hmm that sounds fun

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:20 PM

so then they can still frag post-invasion but like… it’s more like make-up sex

CyanideOreoToday at 4:20 PM

I like the idea of her turning over post coital bliss and he’s just shockwave

or do you think he’s enough of a drama queen to make a big deal out of it

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:21 PM

I feel like of the dramatic boys TFA Shockwave is the LEAST dramatic, which is kind of wild to consider

Like he’s still dramatic don’t get me wrong

but he strikes me as absolutely the most practical

CyanideOreoToday at 4:21 PM

you might be right

hmm true

he probably assumes the best time is right after when she’s riding those post sex hormones

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:21 PM

So I feel like she turns over in post-coital bliss and he’s just decided to be Shockwave like “so hello this is me I’m now sure you’re not a spy so”

TOTALLY

HE thinks it through very… LOGICALLY

but also, he’s an idiot

CyanideOreoToday at 4:22 PM

YES

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:22 PM

because the time to do that would have been BEFORE they fuck…. but no. He’s like “Ah she will accept this much more calmly while thoroughly fragged and relaxed because of sex”

CyanideOreoToday at 4:22 PM

he’s also sure now that he actually caught feelings because sex happen and he still wants to be here

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:22 PM

“this is genius I am so smart”

TOTALLY

So he’s like “ok we gotta do this now so we can be together permanently”

And then everything goes to hell and he’s big mad and confused

“I METICULOUSLY TIMED THIS I DON’T UNDERSTAND”

CyanideOreoToday at 4:23 PM

hmm should I have her be big mad he was lying period or add the whole YOU WERE SHOCKWAVE THIS WHOLE TIME afrontedness to it

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:24 PM

HMMMM that depends… do you still want this to be part of the multiverse

Or is this like… its own thing

CyanideOreoToday at 4:24 PM

god I dont even know

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:24 PM

It’s starting to feel like its own thing with the TFA design, and if that’s what you want to do I definitely vote “I’m mad you lied to me”

But in all other respects I like her mostly being mad that he’s Shockwave

CyanideOreoToday at 4:25 PM

I can always just claim she lost her memories if I wanna go back on it

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:25 PM

GOD if you wanted to keep the “I’m mad that you’re Shockwave” but still do a separate thing he could be partially responsible for her being technoorganic

CyanideOreoToday at 4:26 PM

I’m gonna go with she’s a weird spark that was created before the war and is a throback to something weird

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:26 PM

but like he doesn’t remember/know what she currently looks like so when he reveals himself like “hey baby what’s up” she’s like OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S YOU

YES NICE

CyanideOreoToday at 4:27 PM

Hmm maybe she ends up with a job in intelligence and works in cataloging and catalogs decepticons and was obsessed on the down low with shockwave because she thought there might be a connection because of the simular optics

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:27 PM

OH MY GOD

YES

so when he turns up there she’s like WHAT THE FUCK

CyanideOreoToday at 4:28 PM

that adds the layer of embarrassment I want

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:28 PM

her college celebrity crush just boned her and she didn’t even know lmao

CyanideOreoToday at 4:30 PM

Oh no my stable boyfriend is actually a bad boy

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:33 PM

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HE’S THE DREAM BAD BOY

HE’S THE NAUGHTY FANTASY DREAM BAD BOY

CyanideOreoToday at 4:34 PM

oh god it turns out a lot of her rage is just her being bad at dealign with ….

did I just make her tsundere

DAMMIT

oh my god what if she assumes him being there is a dream and just rolls with it till next morning where she wakes up and he’s still there and she hits him with a lamp yelling that it was a dream why is he still here

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:35 PM

OH MY FUCKING GOD

YES

HELP

THAT’S AMAZING

CyanideOreoToday at 4:37 PM

when they actually talk it out after they make up u think he’s mad or flattered the reason she assumed it was a dream was because she had a thing for him

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:37 PM

Oh I think he’s very flattered and smug

CyanideOreoToday at 4:37 PM

pff

perfect

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:38 PM

I feel like TFA Shockwave is definitely a smug motherfucker XD

CyanideOreoToday at 4:39 PM

She’s all “It was wrong. It started out as me trying to find information on Shock- you and I got kind of obsessed and then the dreams started so when you …. uhh revealed what you did it was like a dream …”

and then she has to hit him with another lamp again because he gets dangerously smug

starscreams-tiaraToday at 4:41 PM

his optic just does that little crescent moon grin thing that Whirl’s does

CyanideOreoToday at 4:41 PM

YES

[hamahsjournal]

The Boy That Broke Me

This is an odd story, in an odd setting, in a odd situation. But, unfortunately, it's my situation and writing about it is the only healthy way I know how to cope with the pain I feel every day.

I guess it started when .y family and I moved to a place I now call home, El Paso, Texas. My family moved from Maine to Texas to work in Jurez Mexico along side a couple we knew who were running an orphanage down there.

The move was hard on fifteen year old me. I was pulled from the only life and friends I ever knew and secluded in a completely new and different city. I fell into my first ever hole of depression. My depression rarely allowed me to escape from my bed, but before things got too bad I went and helped at the orphanage with my parents occasionally, that's when I met him.

My sister and I were in back of the orphanage sitting on the swing set while the kids were down for their daily rest time. A tall, lanky, good looking Mexican boy, who we'll call jose, started walking over to us. Now, let me emphasize, the fact he is a Spanish speaking Mexican and I am an English speaking American. I dont know what drove him to walk up to us bit he did.

He walked up to us and began speaking a confusing fast r rolling filled language I didnt understand at all. I think finally he got that neither my sister or I had no idea what he was saying. He smiled then and motioned to the ipod touch in my hand and said "wif-y?" To which I said "Que?" One of the five Spainish words I knew at the time. After going back and forth for way too long we finally realized he was saying Wifi and asking if my ipod was connected to the wifi. I told him "si, its connected" #spanglish . So after we laughed off the extremely awkward situation I handed him my ipod and he opened Google translate for us to be able to talk. He told us he was eighteen and worked at the orphanage. To be honest I don't remember much else of the conversation due to my embarrassment of the wifi situation.

We didnt see much of each other during the year my family lived in el Paso due to my crippling depression that only worrsend. But we were friends of Facebook and kept up to date with each others lives through the internet.

After a year of living in Texas and Mexico my family moved back to maine for reasons. My cousin, who's ten years older than me, still lived down there in the orphanage working fulltime there. So she formed a friendship with Jose and another girl who lived full time there.

In the fall of 2017, I was seventeen, I decided to make my first ever solo trip down to mexico to stay and work in the orphanage. I feel in love with it! I feel in love with the country, the kids, the language everything. You see I was so caught up in my lonely, dark world of isolating depression I never got to experience that amazing place. But what is more important to this story is I got really close to jose my cousin and friend. Like really close, like they were all my best friends.

I started to like jose as more than a friend though. He was an attractive, sweet caring twenty year old who was amazing with kids, how could I not and we were finally starting to be able to communicate! But I kept quiet never saying anything in fear of losing or messing up the friendship I had formed with the three after years of being alone.

So, after three months I returned home with a crush and new close friends. During the time I was gone though, my cousin became close to jose, like real close. Awkwardly close for someone she constantly complained about having to 'take care of', constantly texted her and acted young for his age.

I returned to the orphanage in august of 2018 after my eighteenth birthday. I continued working with the kids, loving it and rekindling my friendship with jose my cousin and our friend after being away for months.

Things were going great! But my feelings for jose were only getting stronger and stronger but I pushed them away. That was until December of that year..

My cousin was gone back to Maine for the holidays visiting family leaving jose our friend and I behind. One night jose and I were sat put back, building a fire to have smores with the kids later on. While sat by the fire though, jose turned to me and began to g me how he really liked me, actually he loved me, has for a long time. He saw us having a future, little house, kids, a dog thee whole lot!

My stomach was in my throat at his words. I remember the uncontrollable smile that was plastered to my face. It was like a stupid fairytale! I've had a crush on this boy that I was forced to repress for years scared of rejection and ruining a friendship a cherished. But I no longer had to because he also liked me, hell he said he loved me!

But I tried to be smart. I told him how i really liked him too but wanted to take things slow and not do anything until one of us moved out of the orphanage and we were no longer living under the same room, with our bosses, the directors, who we knew would have a pretty with us dating.

So we were in a weird we like each other but aren't dating faze for a while. I told our friend everything that had gone down by the fire and she was happy for us! She explained her hesitation with our living together and our odd situation but said as long as we didnt do anything stupid she supported us and was happy for us.

I was living like I was in some dumb romance novel, working a job I lived with a boy I started to like move and more with ever passing smile he would throw my way. That was until my cousin returned from her trip home.

Apparently jose had told her all that had gone down while she was away and she was not happy. She had a strange obsession with him that she claimed wasn't her liking him just her being protective.

She cornered me while we were making a meal for the kids one day and to give you all the short version, said I was trying the dynamic we had as friends, jose and I's relationship was inappropriate, we shouldn't ever do anything and it was not okay with her nor would it ever be.

This yet again triggered my uncontrolled depression. After the lecturing I escaped to my bathroom and picked back up an old habit I thought I had long left behind. I cut my hips and my sides, slumped in a ball of heart broken tears. Being the kind of person I am I took on everything she said and I hated myself.

I made sure to distance myself from jose afraid to hurt her again, which would intern hurt me. Jose eventually cause on and asked what happened I explained in a teary mess and he promised to talk to her and make things better. Well they didnt get better.

A perminant wedge was pur between my cousin and I and jose and I. I spent my nights crying hurting with my friend and spent my days hearing jose tell me how much he loves me while my cousin hated me.

My breaking point came when one day the director of the orphanage asked me to run out to the store for her to which I said sure let me see if jose and my cousin want to come and then I'll go. She then told me not to bother by cousin because she knew she was really stressed with all the work she had to get done, as she was a school teacher.

I agreed and called jose to ask him to join me. He came and while we were on our way out my cousin came out and asked "why are you guys trying to sneak off without me". Jose and I exchanged confused glances and I explained to her what had happened and that we were not trying to "sneak off".

You see, this is what she always thought. That I was constantly trying to take jose from her. That I was trying to be alone with him and have him all for myself. When in reality I was pushing him away to make sure I never did that and to keep our friendship intact.

She went on saying how it really felt like that's what we were doing. I again, told her it definitely was not and she was more than welcome to come with us (keep in mind we are going to the gro very store not a fucking resort). So she came along and ignored us the entire time. As I was getting out if the car when we returned home they mentioned going out to grab a drink before we had to get back to work.

I told them I would come but I wanted to invite our friend first, unable to be in the same room with the two of them acting like they were dating right in front of me. Cause this is how they always were. She wanted to be with him so badly she acted like his girlfriend around her and he allowed it.

When I got to my friends room to invite her, though I broke down explaining g the whole situation. My cousin hated me and jose kept saying he loved me while going around acting like her boyfriend in front of me. It felt like I was slowly being ripped apart from the inside out and my cousin didnt care at all that she was hurting me so much.

When my friend and I got in the car again my cousin called me a bitch for sneaking off without her and my friend lost it. She went off on my cousin defending me. No one had ever done this for me before. I wanted her to stop because I didnt want to add to the drama but i also wanted her to keep going because it was the first time i had felt someone actually cared about me in months.

We had a silent ride home and never spoke of the events in the car that day. Until jose pulled me aside that night and asked if i was okay. I told him no. I wasn't okay. I told him everything. How much it hurt me seeing him act like my cousins boyfriend while saying ti me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. I told him she hurt me like I never thought she would. I told him I never wanted this drama and I needed it to end. He needed to pick if he wanted to be with me or her.

He told me it wasn't like that, that he could be friends with her na date me. To which I called bullshit and explained that he couldn't actually do that because she liked him as more than a friend and wasn't willing to let anyone near him. He was silent.

I knew what his choice was then.

I had never really understood the term 'heartbroken'until that day. I thought it was just some cheesey romance word. But no, it is so much more than that. I felt truly and utterly broken. I was destroyed. The boy I loved chose my cousin who had hurt me over and over again over me, the girl he "loved". My chest ached like I'd been shot over and over again and left to die. If it weren't for my friend putting me back together again I dont know what would have happened.

I didnt talk to him for a long time after that about a week and a half. What I never wanted had happened it was my cousin and jose against my friend and I. I destroyed our friendship.

I finally spoke to him again when him and I took the kids to their weekly swim practice. Him and I were sat up in the bleachers when I got a call. Doctors had found a mass on my mother's thyroid they believed to be cancer. I cried. I had just had the worst week of my life loosing him and my cousin and now this. I could no longer hold it together.

He held me while I cried apologizing for everything he did to me and for what I was going through. We mended our relationship then i think. We talked more after but we were okay, because I realized it wasn't him. It was her. She had manipulated him into choosing her. I still hate him somedays because in the end it was him, he made his choice.

But then theres other days where he texts me saying "I still love you" and my heart breaks all over again, knowing I cant have a relationship with him until he has a normal friendship with her. Which will never happen, because he chose her and will always choose her.

So here I am hurting everytime I think about him and the eight months I spent with him. What hurts the most is I cant stop loving him, even though I want to so fucking bad. I want to hate him and move on but I cant. He. No, they destroyed me. I'm scared to be in another relationship, terrified to hear the words "I love you" again and them not be true. They ruined my life and dont care because they have each other. Yet he has the audacity to text me still to this day telling me he still loves me.

And I'm stupid enough to want to believe him and love him back...