#its going to be an absolute disaster and i am SO READY FOR IT

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me, explaining things in a way that's completely incoherent: I don't understand what you find so difficult to comprehend???

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Pity Party.

Synopsis - Carmy just wants to see you treated the way he thinks you deserve. He decides to take matters into his own hands.

Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Roommate Reader

Word Count - 3k

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol mention. carmys filthy mouth.

Age Rating - 18+

Author's Note - hello hello hello!! i am back!! i had a wonderful vacation soaking up the sun, and i am feeling refreshed and ready to go. i have had so many ideas over the past few weeks, so i'm excited to get some of them written asap!! this was a fic that came to me randomly, as i was thinking about roommate!carmen and how much of a menace he'd be if you ever talked about other guys. this was written as a part of my carmen roommates collection. it doesn't follow on from Finders, Keepers or Sweet Dreams, but it does exist in the same universe - so you can decide if this takes place before or after!! as always, feel free to send me any ideas or thoughts or burning desires you have. so much love <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Series Masterlist. Masterlist. Inbox.

"You're back early."

Carmy had swung the door open, expecting to come home to an empty apartment. Instead, he's met with the sight of you, sitting on the couch, undoing the straps of your shoes.

"Fuckin' disaster," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.

He breathes out a chuckle at the stormy look on your face. Carmy thinks you're cutest when you're angry. He aches to smooth the crease between your brows with his thumb.

"That bad?" he asks, taking a seat next you and kicking off his sneakers.

"You wouldn't even believe."

He rises and makes his way to the kitchen, filling the tea kettle and placing it on the stove top. Grabbing two mugs, he casts a glance over his shoulder at you, frowning at your body language. You look defeated.

Carmy steeps two cups of tea, placing one of them carefully into your waiting hands. He resumes his seat on the sofa, pressing his thigh against yours and turning to face you.

"You wanna talk about it?"

You think for a moment before replying.

"You're gonna laugh at me."

His face instantly crumples, confusion written all over it.

"I'll never laugh at you. I'll laugh with you, sure. But never at you."

He nudges your shoulder with his, urging you to go on.

"Okay, fine. The actual date was pretty good. He took me to that Italian place downtown-"

"Dolce Vita? Did you get the truffle pasta I told you about?" Carmy interrupts you before you can continue.

"Yes, oh my God. It was incredible. Do you think you can recreate it sometime?"

"Fuck yeah. They're pretty secretive with their recipes, but I think I can figure it out. You can help me if you want - I'm gonna need a sous chef."

He pulls a reluctant laugh from you, the sound echoing off the ceramic of your mugs. You both know that being the sous chef involves you sitting on the counter drinking wine while Carmy does all the work.

"Of course. I'll always be your sous chef."

"I'll hold you to that."

You smile at him gently, a little taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.

"Anyway. The dinner went great. He seemed super interested in me, asked me questions, told me about his job, his hobbies, his dog. He was hot, and good to talk to. I thought I'd hit the jackpot."

"And then?"

"And then we went back to his apartment. And it all went to shit."

He chuckles, blue eyes glinting in the moonlight.

"Tell me more."

"You really want to hear about all of this?"

It's not like you and Carmy aren't close. You absolutely are. It's just that there's always been this unspoken connection between the two of you. A bubbling, fiery attraction that you both shut down repeatedly, screwing the lid on tight whenever it rears its head. So, you tend to avoid talking to Carmy about dating. You're scared you'll accidentally blurt out the truth - you compare every single date to him.

"Of course I do."

His answer is so genuine it makes you ache. You continue, hesitantly.

"Well... things got a little... heavy. He wasn't a bad kisser, I guess... he just wasn't... a good one? He kept biting my lip super hard and it kinda hurt. Then he pulled my clothes off like a high schooler, and he's on top of me, and I'm waiting for him to sort of... do... anything? And then he's finished. Like, completely done. And then he has the nerve to ask me if I finished."

Carmy's mouth has fallen open, shock etched across his face. After a long, heavy pause, he speaks.

"What the fuck?"

You look at him for moment, before bursting into contagious laughter. He joins you, both of you with your heads thrown back, giggles reverberating around the lowlit room.

"I mean, seriously," he pants, still laughing. "What the fuck?"

"I didn't even answer him. I just put my clothes on, grabbed my bag and left without saying a word."

Every time you try to stifle your laughter, a giggle escapes. The situation wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, it's hilarious.

All of a sudden, you both go silent. You're deep in thought, reflecting on the seemingly never ending stream of bad dates that you've endured. Carmy is watching you intently, ocean blue eyes glued to your face.

"Fuck," you breathe. "This is kinda pathetic."

Carmy inhales deeply, and turns his body so it's facing yours on the couch.

"The way I see it," he begins, "you have two options."

You quirk a brow in confusion and stay quiet, waiting for him to explain.

"You can sit here feeling sorry for yourself, or, you can let me fuck you the way you deserve."

Your mouth falls open in shock at the exact same moment your brain seems to shut down. You can't think. You can't process his words. All you can focus on is the way he's staring at you. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. A shiver runs down your spine, and you have to remind yourself to breathe.

"Wh-... what?" you choke out.

"You heard me, honey. You can wallow in your little pity party, or you can let me show you what it's like to be with someone who can actually make you come. Your choice."

His voice has dropped an octave lower than usual, the tone warm and honeyed. He's still staring at you, blue gaze unrelenting.

"Is this gonna fuck everything up between us?" you whisper hesitantly.

Carmy reaches out and places a gentle hand on your cheek, thumb stroking careful circles into your skin.

"I don't think anything can fuck up what we have," he murmurs. "You're the only thing in my life that makes sense."

His confession seems to sober you up, the honesty in his words snapping you back to your senses.

"Okay."

He almost does a double take at the sureness in your voice.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Put your money where your mouth is, Carmen."

"There she is," he chuckles. "You scared me when you went quiet for a second there."

"Well, if what you say is true, you're not gonna be able to shut me up for the night."

He laughs darkly, and slides closer to you slightly.

"Oh, honey. You're gonna wish you hadn't said that."

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, tracing the journey of your neck with his fingertips. He rests his hand lightly at the base of your throat, the heavy weight of it making you pant.

"If there's any point where you don't like something, or you want me to slow down, just say so. Okay?"

You nod your head, entranced by the sudden dominance he's displaying. You've never seen this side of him before. You can't believe he's been hiding it this whole time.

"Words, pretty. Need to hear you say it."

"Yes. I understand. I'll tell you, I promise."

He doesn't say anything in reply, just smirks. He lets you sit in the silence for a moment too long, the anticipation slowly killing you.

"Please, Carmen," you breathe. "Please."

"Fuck," he groans, shuffling closer to you. "You sound so pretty when you beg."

Carmy leans in and kisses your cheek gently, testing the waters. He presses a kiss to your other cheek, and pulls back to watch for your reaction. When he's happy, he tilts forward and leaves a careful kiss on your chin, then your forehead, then both of your closed eyes, before kissing you on the side of your mouth. His closeness makes you whine, desperate for him to give you what you want.

Finally, he connects his lips to yours, starting off slow and tender. When you tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and try to pull him even closer, his resolve snaps. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You clamber over him and climb into his lap, straddling his hips and pressing yourself into his body.

Carmy can't decide where to put his hands. He's grabbing at your waist, running his fingers up your back, pulling you into him by your ass. You're both groaning into each others mouths, enraptured by the other person and the all consuming way they kiss.

"Can I take this off?" he asks lowly, pulling at the hem of your dress.

Instead of answering, you pull it over your head, throwing it onto the floor in front of you.

"Fuck," he murmurs. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

His hands are roaming all of your exposed skin, as if he can't get enough. He's terrified he won't ever get to see you like this again, so he's not going to waste a second.

You grind your hips down into his, eliciting a groan from the both of you. His hands tighten their grip on your waist, as he leans up to press open mouthed kisses to your jaw. Your fingers fly to the hem of his t shirt, pulling it off swiftly. You manage to shove his jeans down and off, before attempting to pull off his underwear. Carmy stops you in your tracks.

"Nuh uh," he tuts. "This is about you. Not me."

He pulls you off his lap gently and shuffles so his back is resting against the couch cushions. He spreads his legs wide, and gestures for you to sit between them. When you don't move, he looks at you carefully.

"Give me a color, pretty girl."

You take a deep breath, and smile at him softly.

"Green, Carmen. Promise."

You manoeuvre sideways, so you can place yourself with your back to his chest. He wraps his arms around you for a moment and holds you tightly, as if he's scared you'll disappear any second. You relax into his embrace, all the tension leaving your body. You have nothing to worry about. It's just you and Carmen, in the place you call home.

You drop your head back into Carmy's shoulder, and allow yourself to get lost in the feeling of his hands on your skin. He's begun tracing patterns down your arms, your sides, your stomach, until he reaches your underwear. He plays with the band, dipping his finger underneath in a feather light touch. Goose bumps rise across your body and you shiver, practically vibrating with need.

"Carmen," you whisper. "Don't tease."

"But that's half the fun," he murmurs into your ear, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

You can picture it perfectly, too. The way his eyes crinkle, the way his mouth curves, the way he bites his lip to stifle it. The image in your mind makes you melt into him further. You want to be as close to him as you physically can be. You'd completely disappear into him if you could.

He brings you back to reality by cupping you over your underwear, groaning when he feels the saturated material.

"Oh, pretty girl. Is this all for me? Fuck."

Suddenly, his game of teasing has lost all its fun. Carmy twists his fingers into your underwear and pulls them off in one swift movement, throwing them in the general direction of your dress on the floor. He places a hand on each of your thighs and spreads them apart, hooking them over his legs.

Carmy starts off slow, careful. He caresses over your skin, gentle and almost apprehensive. When he gets to your core, he swipes a finger through, testing the waters. When you buck your hips into his hand, he knows you're both on the same page.

"Just relax, okay? Gonna make you feel good."

His deep, smooth, whiskey like voice is doing nothing to help the heat bubbling in your stomach. You only whine in response, wiggling your hips to urge him to keep going.

Carmy throws one arm around your stomach, keeping you plastered to his body. You can feel him hot and hard against your back, and you so desperately want to feel him that your mouth is watering. You grind back into him, and he reads your mind.

"Not yet," he whispers. "This is about you, remember? Need to show you what you've been missing."

With that, he circles your clit with two fingers, slowly but surely. He revels in the noises you elicit. They're making him dizzy, disorientated. He never thought he'd be the one to pull a sound like that from you. He's quite convinced he's dreaming.

"Let me hear you. Don't hold back on me, okay?"

You nod your head frantically, willing to give him whatever he asks if you get what you want.

Carmy slips a finger into you slowly, moaning under his breath at your warmth. When he thinks you're ready, he adds a second finger, and sets a steady rhythm, trying to figure out what you like.

After he's set his pace, he starts to curl his fingers on the up stroke, grinning to himself when he finds the spot.

"Yeah? Right there? That's it, isn't it?"

You're nodding and shaking and pawing at his forearms, trying to tether yourself to reality in any way you can. You think you might be floating, on cloud 9, in some sort of euphoric trance. You can't believe no one's ever made you feel like this before. You're convinced no one ever will again.

Carmy quickens his pace and basks in the glory of your moans. He thinks this might be the most beautiful you've ever looked, spread out completely for him. Every inch of your skin is touching his, and it makes his heart skip a beat for a second.

He presses a kiss into your hair and keeps his mouth there, murmuring honeyed praises into your ear.

"Doin' so good for me."

"You got it, honey, that's it."

"Atta girl. Keep going. Almost there."

"You look so fuckin' pretty like this. Fuck. Gonna be thinking about this forever."

"I'll ruin you, baby. Nothing's ever gonna compare to this, to what we have."

All you can do is moan in response, his filthy words pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You're almost there, but something is stopping you. You whine in frustration, tears welling in your eyes. Carmy feels the tension suddenly grasp your muscles, and leans down to mutter to you softly.

"What is it, sweet girl? What do you need? Just tell me. Anything, and I'll give it to you."

You're not sure how much you trust your voice right now, so you decide to show him instead. You take the hand that he's using to hold you to him and move it up your body until it's resting against your throat. You tighten your fingers around his, and moan in response to the pressure.

"Oh, baby," he coos. "Filthy fuckin' girl. Here I thought you were so innocent, and this whole time you wanted to be choked like a whore?"

The way he degrades you so lovingly makes you mewl. You'd never ever trust anyone else to speak to you this way in such an intimate moment - but with Carmen, there's no hesitation. You know he's just telling you what you need to hear in the heat of the moment. And you love him for it.

"Fuck, Carmen," you manage to choke out. "Keep going. Don't stop, please."

"I'll do anything you want if you keep saying my name like that," he whispers.

"Carmen," you moan in response. "Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy."

You're chanting his name like a prayer. He's rutting into your back, hips grinding and circling in time with his fingers that are maintaining their steady rhythm. His fingers tighten around your throat as he crooks his digits just right, and the result is a devastating moan from you that Carmy wishes to have on repeat for the rest of his life.

"So close," you whisper hoarsely. "Harder."

Carmy uses his thumb to circle your clit with one hand, other hand pulling you by your neck back into him tightly. He grinds his hips dirtily into you, and the feeling of him so silky and warm against you is what sends you over the edge. The corners of your vision go white as you arch into him, head thrown backwards into his chest. The sounds you're making are so melodic, so borderline angelic that Carmy almost cries. Heaven, he thinks. This is salvation.

Carmy finishes with you, climaxing onto the soft skin of your back. You both relax simultaneously, chests heaving and panting. He removes his fingers gently and wraps both arms around you, pulling you into him tightly despite the mess. He reaches to brush the hair out of your face, and the gesture is so tender it makes your lip quiver.

"Thank you," you whisper after what feels like hours of comfortable silence.

"Sorry I called you a whore," he murmurs back.

You let out a surprised laugh, vibrating with amusement in his arms.

"I know you didn't mean it."

"I mean I did give you the best orgasm of your life, so... call it even?"

"You're forgiven," you chuckle. "Completely forgiven."

You trace gentle patterns over his forearms with your fingertips, following the black ink of his tattoos. He sighs in contentment and places a kiss into your hair, relaxing further into the couch.

You sit together like that for a while, neither of you too concerned with the time. It's not often you see Carmy so relaxed, so serene. You're enjoying it for as long as you can.

"We should clean up," he says quietly, eventually. "Sorry about the mess."

"It's okay. Worth it," you tease, pinching his thigh. He pinches your side in retaliation, which makes you jump.

"Come on, trouble."

He stands from the couch, never letting go of the grip he has on you. You have no choice but to stand with him, yelping as he half carries you through the apartment towards the shower.

The sounds of both of your laughter bounce off of the abandoned mugs of tea still sat on the coffee table, melodic and joyous. The moonlight seeps through the windows, illuminating the beginning of something special in the living room of your shared apartment.

[spacebarbarianweird]

OK OK you just gotta hear me on this one,, Astarion and gn reader where reader is little spoon and Astarion can *sense* just how relaxed reader gets. Instead of their pulse racing from his touches they slow down. Muscles relaxed. Happy little sighs.

^^ he can’t handle this btw he’s absolutely fucking bewildered

A Person to Hold

Synopsis: Fluffy post-game epilogue

Tags: fluff

Read on AO3

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Headcanons

He looks at you, unable to stop smiling.

"They deserve happiness. We all do. And I will forever be grateful to have found it with you," Astarion says.

You make a step forward with open arms. Astarion hugs you, closing his eyes like a content cat. 

A mere half year ago these hugs scared him. It was weird. It was scary. What did you want? Did you want to hurt him? Did you want his body?

No.

None of that.

You taught him not to be afraid. You hug him daily and if he occasionally flinches you don’t let him go. You hold him in your arms when he has nightmares and kiss away his tears when it's just too much.

"I feel bad keeping you all to myself! After all, I get to see you every night."

"Are you sure? You won't be bored?"

You kiss his cheek and leave. In a few seconds, you look back, trying to see if he hasn’t changed his mind. 

"Darling, I can spend some time with myself. Go on, go and mingle. And I will be there, when you’re ready. I will always be here, my love."

He hasn’t. Astarion sits down beside a campfire sensing its warmth.

He doesn't feel like talking. He didn't manage to make friends with the others and now can sense hostility from them. He is a vampire. His strength isn’t suppressed by the tadpole and apparently once the vampire's master is dead, spawns become lesser vampires. Astarion doesn't feel the difference, to be honest, but he knows people feel something is off with him.

Well, it doesn't matter. What matters is that he feels good. He has never thought his head might be so clear. He can make a working ambush plan in a blink of an eye and it won't lead to a disaster because he actually can think everything through. He can walk on ceilings and walls again, he regenerates before you manage to notice he is wounded. 

He has the world to explore, places to see, things to do. He is going to make up for all these decades of misery, to bury them under the pile of happy memories.

And he has you.

Probably the weirdest thing that could happen to him.

You, who forgave his lies and manipulations, who gave him the second chance when it was the stupidest thing to do. Who made him believe the world isn’t an evil place. 

You are the first person he sees when returns from his reverie. Your breathing soothes him, so does your heartbeat.

Astarion never had anything. Everything he had a right to was stripped away from him including his own life.

But now he has you.

To hold, to kiss, to talk. 

To travel together, to hunt monsters, to be independent adventurers. You are there to save him from nightmares. And he is there to save you from death.

How could he become so happy?

“I am going to sleep, are you with me or do you want to hunt?” he feels a soft “pat” on his shoulder.

How come he has you?

You are a bit drunk and very sleepy.

“Let’s go to the tent.”

“Good, I got used to sleeping with you by my side.”

Astarion looks around as if ashamed of what he is going to do and, having made sure no one sees you, takes you in his hands bridal-style.

You are weightless to him thanks to the vampiric strength. He could walk many miles carrying you and not getting tired.

In the tent, you get to your bedroll and immediately cover yourself with a thick blanket. Then, you open it a little, inviting Astarion to join.

He takes his clothes off and crawls to your side. The night is warm, so are you. But since you have to share your body heat with him, you sleep under the thickest fur blanket. 

You are his and he is yours. If a year ago someone told him that would be his future he would bitterly laugh.

Astarion presses your back to his chest, placing the chin on your shoulder.

Your muscles relax, the pulse slows down. You are falling asleep in his arms.

"My love, thank you" he whispers in you ear, tugging you closer

“Hm?”

“Thank you for finding me."

You squeeze his hand. “You were worth it.”

He doesn’t want to meditate. He wants to hold you like that until you wake up. Astarion concentrates on your breathing and heartbeat. You are already sound asleep.

“Sleep well, darling,” he kisses your cheek. “We still have plenty of things to do together.” 

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96

[rafyki]

Goth! Nico/ Surfer! Percy AU Part 3!

Here, have some awkward flirting by two absolute lovestruck losers (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Oh how I love writing them being absolute disaster around each other asdsgsdhdff

@neo-kid-funk I managed to finish this part before I thought, I hope you like it!!! And I hope it fuels your inspiration for new art *evil laugh*

(For everyone who hasn't seen it yet, go to Neo's blog and enjoy her beautiful art!! This fic was inspired by her perfect design of older goth Nico <33)

Part 1, Part 2

~~~~~~

Nico didn’t expect it to become a habit. He expected it to be a one time thing, the kind of thing that turns your world upside down for a while but doesn’t really change anything in the long run. 

He expected to go back to work the next time for his shift and to not exchange more than a couple of words with Percy.

Even in his wildest fantasies he had not expected Percy to actually go and make conversation with him. 

“Doesn’t it drive you crazy? That you’re always on the beach so close to the ocean yet you can’t go in the water?” 

Percy had his usual drink in his hand, and Nico had been ready to wish him a nice day and watch him walk away as it always happened.

That was how things usually went. Not this.

Nico could feel his world shift around its axis (a little dramatic, yes, he knew, and he also had no doubt that Leo would tease him nonstop if he told him), and an annoying blush creeping up his neck to his face as Percy looked at him with a curious look.

He looked away, trying to find something, anything, to do that would make him appear busy and give him an excuse to avoid those way too perfect eyes.

He had not been prepared for this.

“Uhm”, he started, remembering that he had been asked a question.

He could almost hear Jason’s voice in his head yelling at him that it’s your chance, it’s your chance, talk to him!; together with Leo’s voice screaming go make him fall for you, goth boy!

Shaking his head a little, he tried to shoo them away.

“I’m not a huge fan of the ocean”, he said in the end.

And, well, that had been perhaps the wrong thing to say, judging by Percy’s horrified expression. Eyes wide wide and mouth hanging open there where he had been about to take another sip of his drink, he was looking at Nico like he had just admitted that he liked to kick kittens in his free time. It was equal parts comical and mortifying.

Before Nico could decide if he wanted to laugh at that expression or regret every life choice that had led him up to that point, Percy let out a shocked “What!?”

And for some reason, that made him chuckle, left him smiling behind his hand.

“Was that the wrong answer?”, he asked, trying and probably failing to keep the teasing tone out of his voice. 

Percy took a moment to answer. He was looking at Nico carefully, a weird expression on his face now that Nico couldn’t read. It made Nico feel a little unstable on his feet; he didn’t even realize he was staring right back at Percy until he noticed the slight red on his nose and cheekbones and found himself thinking that it was cute how Percy still got sunburn even when it seemed that he basically lived on the beach under the sun.

Percy cleared his throat, and the world started moving again around them.

“Yes!”, he said. “How can you not like the ocean?”

Nico shrugged, and threw a glance at the immense expanse of water before him. There were a lot of reasons he wasn't really fond of it, but he wasn’t sure Percy would appreciate them.

“It’s not that I don’t like it, I just don’t like getting in the water”.

“That basically means you don’t like it though”.

Nico rolled his eyes. His heart was beating a little too fast, his hands were sweaty, and he kept playing nervously with the rings on his lips. And he wanted nothing more than for this moment and this conversation to stretch on for as long as possible.

“It seems you’re taking this pretty personally”, he said, smiling. 

Percy smiled back, and Nico’s heart replied with somersaults. “I am, I take the ocean very seriously”.

Nico had guessed, but it was nice hearing it directly from Percy, adding this information to his mental list of things I know about him. For some reason, he had the feeling that that list would keep growing from now on.

His eyes fell on the trident tattoo on Percy’s left bicep. It made Nico feel weak in the knees every time he saw it, his mind immediately offering him the haunting thought of what it would feel like under his fingers. He sort of wanted to bite it.

No, not the time for this kind of thoughts!

He was definitely blushing now - he just hoped that the shadow of the kiosk's little roof was enough to hide it. 

You’re the worst, Nico di Angelo, shame on you.

Percy must have noticed where he was looking though, because he glanced at his tattoo too. “Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious”, he laughed. 

Oh he had such a nice laugh. 

“You’re a big fan of the Little Mermaid?”, Nico asked, because for some reason that was the first thing that had come to his mind.

It made Percy laugh a little more though, so Nico counted it as a victory.

“That’s definitely part of it, I think I must have watched that movie a thousand times when I was little”.

Nico mentally added that new information to his list.

“Maybe you were a mermaid in your past life”, he suggested. “Or some sort of sea god”.

Those last words escaped his mouth before he could hold them back. He had not meant to say them out loud - damn his brain and his too fast mouth and his stupid huge crush. Percy did look like a sea god but that didn’t mean Nico had to say it out loud and expose himself like that. See, that’s why he didn’t want to talk to Percy, he knew he would make a fool of himself. Maybe the ground would be so nice as to open up and swallow him whole right now.

(Oh, he knew his friends would laugh at him like crazy for this later).

When he found the courage to look back at Percy, he found him still smiling, an amused look in his eyes. 

Nico’s stomach curled painfully on itself in a mix of embarrassment and stupid fondness. He was so weak for that look.

“In that case that would mean you just told a sea god that you don’t like the ocean”, Percy said. “That could be a problem”.

“I never said I don’t like it”, Nico pointed out, surprised at himself for how he could still speak despite his internal turmoil. “And also, I said you might have been one in your past life”.

Percy waved a hand. “That doesn’t matter. You know gods aren’t that reasonable”.

“Are you saying I should apologize?”

“Precisely”, Percy said, nodding solemnly.

That was such a weird conversation to have with someone you barely knew. Yet Nico couldn’t hold back the smile growing on his lips. Despite the continuous maelstrom raging inside him, he probably hadn’t stopped smiling for a second the whole time; it made him feel like a fool, but it was alright because Percy had been smiling for the whole time too.

“And how should I do that?”, Nico asked. 

Percy seemed to think about it for a moment. “You could let me teach you how to surf”.

Nico stopped. Time stopped, the whole world stopped, even the waves of the ocean itself probably stopped moving.

In the least useful way possible, his mind conjured the terrible image of himself on a surfboard in the water with Percy wet and handsome next to him, holding him to show him what to do.

No, nope, no way. He would end up drowning after two seconds, either because surfing was definitely not his thing, or because letting the ocean swallow him would be the less embarrassing option.

“Uhm”, was the only thing that came out of his mouth“I… don’t think that would be such a good idea”. 

Why is he asking me this though, oh my god what’s going on here.

His embarrassment must have caught up to Percy, because suddenly his smile turned awkward and so was also the short laugh that escaped his lips.

“I was just joking of course!”, he said quickly. Nico watched the way he rubbed his neck, the way he wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Well, then-”

“I mean!”, Nico cut him off without thinking. 

That well then sounded way too much like Percy was about to leave, and Nico didn’t want that.

The relaxed feeling from before was gone, replaced with awkwardness hanging heavily in the air around them. If he had let Percy leave now, Nico was afraid he wouldn't see him again.

Don’t ruin this! It’s your chance!

This time, he tried his best to listen to his friends’ voices in his head.

“I- I mean”, he said again. “I’m really not good with water”.

He hoped his smile came out more apologetic than absolutely mortified and embarrassed. The pounding of his own heart was deafening almost, he could feel it in his throat, making it hard to breathe and push the words out. “Thanks for the offer though…?”. It came out more like a question than anything.

Idiot idiot idiot.

“Ah- uhm”, Percy, said, letting out an awkward laugh. He wasn't looking at Nico anymore, his eyes fixed on his still half full drink. “Yeah, sure”.

You have to fix this!

“I'll just- look at you surfing and enjoy the ocean from afar for now”.

Weird, that was weird! Had he really just admitted that he would just stare at him? Maybe drowning in the ocean really was the best case scenario for him. No way his blush wasn't visible right now. 

Percy must be thinking that he was the weirdest and creepiest guy right now. Nico wanted to die.

But then, Percy looked back at him, and the look on his face wasn't creeped out or uncomfortable - just surprised, eyes blinking slowly and mouth hanging open like he wanted to say something but didn't know exactly what. Nico watched as a small smile made its way back to his lips. The red sunburn on Percy's cheeks was mesmerizing.

“Sounds good to me”.

And okay, perhaps he hadn't ruined everything completely. Perhaps he would get to talk to Percy again.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, making Nico almost jump out of his skin. He had forgotten there was a whole world outside of himself and the man in front of him.

“Nico, we have to switch, it's time for your break”, Jason's voice reached him, bringing him back to reality. His friend was looking at him with a clear question in his eyes and badly veiled excitement - Nico knew he would want to hear everything about his conversation with Percy later. 

“Yeah, right”, he replied, half relieved and half disappointed that the moment was over.

He turned to Percy. He couldn't read the expression in his eyes. “Well, I have to go”, he said.

Percy nodded. The soft smile was back on his face, and Nico felt his heart melt at the sight. “It was nice talking to you Nico”.

“You too. Have a nice day, Percy”.

It was the first time he called him directly by his name, he realized. It sounded way too nice ok his tongue.

He kept staring at his retreating figure as he walked away, feeling unstable on his feet like someone had suddenly changed the gravity on Earth.

“You okay?”, Jason asked.

“Uhm… I think so? I'm not sure what just happened”.

Jason laughed and put a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

“You can tell me everything later, alright? Come to my and Leo's place after work”.

Nico grimaced at the prospect - he could already feel the teasing that would come of it. But he did need to talk about it, so he nodded.“Yeah, alright”, he agreed. “But I really need a smoke now”.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #38] Delaying the Inevitable

warnings: a test is taken! bronys are mentioned! lots going on!

a/n: ahhhh just one tonight!! sorry!! i forgot to schedule them earlier!! lucky 4 u I have time tomorrow to schedule a decent chunk! gawd looking at this picture makes me miss him so much :( a lot of the bd header pictures are taken from lives that happened around the time they were written, and its so cute seeing the time pass like that :(

wc: 4.5K

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

Naver maps says it's a thirty-five-minute walk to your place from Jeongguk's gym.

When a text comes through to his phone from yours with the simple words 'I'm ready," he makes it in twenty.

Skin sticky with sweat, clothes a little damp, glasses on, he doesn't care for appearances as he shows up at your door - and you're reminded of exactly how you got yourself into this mess, again .

It's not your fault he walks around looking like he does.

If anything, he should be more considerate of you, and your feelings, and that fact that seeing him all sweaty will only ever serve to remind you of what it's like to have sex with him.

You fear you'll go insane if you have to keep looking at him like this.

And so you tell him as such.

"Go home, get a shower, come back."

"What?" he laughs, lip ring doing the thing ever so casually as he shakes his head. "I've only just-"

Raising your finger to his lips, you hush him. Keep your face straight.

"Jeongguk, I am but merely a woman. I cannot be held liable for my body, nor the way it's telling me I have to shag you immediately. It will be a disaster if you stay."

Rolling his eyes, he guides you back into your apartment and closes the door behind himself.

"Merely a woman?" He laughs. "You sound like a robot, not a woman."

"I'm being formal!" You tell him. "It's the only way to stop myself from getting to my knees."

"What has gotten into you?!" he asks with total bewilderment. Plonks himself down on your sofa. "I thought the whole reason you called me over was to-" And then he realises what you're doing. Puts a stop to it immediately. "No. Absolutely not. You cannot use sex to get out of taking that damn test."

You roll your eyes with an arrogant smirk, of which you know will drive him insane. "Was worth a try."

"Fuck you," he grins. "I'm not that easy."

The way his lips part when you stand in front of him and tie your hair up? Looks down, as if he thinks that's where you'll go?

"Yeah," you tease, ruffling his hair, before sinking into the sofa next to him. "Sure. Not easy."

"I'm not!" He protests, but you just tease him even more.

"Yeah, yeah," you nod. "Whatever you say, baby."

"Alright, attitude," Jeongguk smirks, enjoying the flirt far more than he knows he should. Knows that he's just using it to distract himself from the box on your coffee table. Knows that the sooner it's done and out of the way, the sooner he can forget about it - or not. "Anyways, don't you have a stick to piss onto?"

"Watersports?" You hum, feigning confusion. "I didn't think that was on the sticky notes?"

Jeongguk just looks at you with a raised brow, as if to question whether or not you're actually entertaining the idea of it - and then he takes offence.

"My dick is not a stick. Take that back."

"Stick boy," you reply, decidedly never taking it back.

And then he has a smug little grin on his face as he reaches down for the box and tosses it to your lap. "I have you on camera saying I've got the hugest cock in the world."

"That's not what I said."

"It is," he assures you, blatantly embellishing what you actually said. "You said it's the hugest cock in the world, and the nicest."

He's lying - but he looks so cute, grin all big and full of stars, that you want him to carry on.

"I think you have hearing problems."

"Nope," he shakes his head. "You said, word for word, ' Ohhh, Jeongguk, your cock is the nicest and hugest cock in the whole entire world, way bigger than Jimin's, and you're also actually really cool' ."

"Now, I know that is a lie," you assure him, as if the entire thing hasn't been fabricated. "You're so lame."

"Oh yeah?" He grins.

"The lamest."

"Well if I'm that lame, go take that fuckin' test B," he nods at the box that's sitting in your lap. "Make sure you don't have my lame-ass kids in your tummy."

"That's not where kids live in the body," you tell him, as if he doesn't know.

He could probably tell you a thing or two about the female anatomy, now. Has read every article in the WebMD Pregnancy Centre. Has shit like 'folic acid' and 'preeclampsia' floating around in his vernacular.

"Fingers crossed they don't currently live in your body at all," he reminds you of your absolute disdain for mothering children. You've never suggested any indication of wanting to keep a kid should you be pregnant right now. Have always said how they're a future goal for you - not a present-day one - and so he wants you to know that he's on board with whatever choice you make, should the test be positive.

Narrowing your eyes, you're oddly comforted by this sentence. After days upon days spent fretting over Jeongguk's wants, it is nice to know his default seems to be the same as yours. You aren't ready for a kid. In your heart of hearts, you know this.

You've no doubt that Jeongguk would step up to the plate, if a kid were to be on the cards. Would be a great dad. Fantastic. If anything, your certainty of his ability is the only thing that would maybe convince you to keep it.

But he has dreams, too. He has goals. Has a meeting with the bank next week for a business loan that will set the wheels in motion.

It's in both of your best interests to be on the same page. Feels heartless, when you think of it like that - but such is life. We can't have everything all at once.

Getting to your feet, you give him a reluctant smile. "Put the TV on. Don't want you to listen to me pissing. Weirdo."

Jeongguk agrees to do so. Turns the TV on as you walk away, and almost mutes it just to wind you up - but he needs you to do this test. Doesn't want to run the risk of taking things back to square one. The sooner you have an answer, the sooner you can go about righting the wrongs of your arrangement.

Flicking across the latch of your bathroom door, a weight presses down on your chest.

Intrusive and unforgiving, it's exactly what you've been shying away from.

The future isn't written in the stars. It's not some cosmic destiny like you try to kid yourself that is it. No prophecy can foretell the outcome of your bad decisions. Choices are made, and consequences are dealt. Life balances on chance, and you're well aware you've taken a few too many.

Resting your hands on the basin of your sink, you let your head hang between your shoulders. Inhale. Exhale.

You know if Jeongguk were in the room with you, he'd get you looking in the mirror. Have you confronting this fear head-on.

And you know you'd thank him for it.

Lifting your gaze to yourself, you study your face. Glitter trails up your cheekbone and dusts the inner corners of your eyes. Not too much. Well, not too much for you. Probably a little too much for most people.

You'd recently spent a night without glitter, and had felt like a shell of yourself.

The person looking at you in the mirror right now may not have her life figured out. Shit might be a mess. Her heart is in a state of disarray and her 'career' can barely even be called a career.

But as you look down at the box in front of you, you know that beyond the door is a person who somehow has the ability to make it feel like it all makes sense. As if you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

So while, no, you don't think you were fated to end up here, specifically, you know that you are destined to be okay. You have to be. Regardless of the outcome.

In your living room, Jeongguk's staring at the television, but he isn't paying it any attention.

The news is on. Some report about declining birth rates. It makes him feel uneasy, so he flicks it over to the next channel. A kids show. Flicks it over again. Finally lands on a variety show he doesn't care for. Decides it's better than the other two, so leaves it on.

Feet to the floor, he sits up straight on your sofa, doesn't realise just how violently he's jittering his leg until his phone drops to the floor.

As he leans down to pick it up, he notices a small mirror ball tile tangled in your shagpile rug. Smiles to himself as he picks it out, and tosses it on your coffee table. Wonders, a little carelessly, if your kids would take after you and your magpie-like love for shiny things.

Before he gets a chance to reprimand himself for thinking about such hypotheticals, your bathroom clicks open.

Like a deer in headlights, your eyes are wide. Fearful. Have just done something you can't take back.

"So...?" Jeongguk nervously asks. For all he's read in the last week or so, he doesn't actually know how tests like these work.

You shrug your shoulders. Don't move from the doorway, almost as if you're guarding the small pink that rests on top of your toilet. "Don't know yet. It's developing."

He nods. Swallows. "Right. Yeah. Of course," he says, because it seems obvious now. "How-"

"Three minutes," you state a little mechanically, knowing exactly what he was going to ask. "Three minutes. One line is safe. Two lines... Two lines means I'm pregnant."

Jeongguk is silent as he looks at you. Is normally so good with knowing the right things to say.

You typically only ever face one of your fears at a time. He's strong when you're weak, and vice versa. So used to being pillars of support, there's a strange air of caution now that you're both terrified.

Nothing can be said, nor done, to change the outcome, now.

So Jeongguk stands. Holds out his hand. "C'mere."

Reluctant at first, his earnest eyes encourage you over. Your heavy feet drag your body to him, and he wastes no time wrapping you up in the protection of himself.

"It's fine," he tells you. "It will be fine."

Nodding, you push away from him. Try and play it cool. Pretend as if you don't want to violently throw up all over your apartment.

"Shotgun not being the one to check it," you say - but he absolutely does not want to check it first.

"It's your piss," he reminds you, thinking it might persuade you.

"Gguk, let's not pretend like that's a boundary with us," you laugh. He's seen you throw up after one too many star fuckers. Has been a star fucker himself. You're pretty sure there isn't anything that could repulse him about you. Not now.

"Touche," he agrees. Holds up his fist. "Battle?"

Without hesitation, you launch into a war of rock, paper, scissors. He fights valiantly, but is no match for you - mainly because he will always, without fail, play paper as his default when he's rushed.

"That's not fair," he whines when you point it out - but a deal is a deal. The responsibility is now his, whether he likes it or not. Eventually, he nods. Psyches himself up. Paces the room a little, and bounces on the balls of his feet as if he's gearing up for a round in the boxing ring.

"You can't fight a pregnancy test," you deadpan, trying to ease the tension.

"I mean you did a pretty good job of fighting one," he reminds you, despite his smile. "Could have taken it ages ago but nooo-"

"Well, I've taken it now!" you pout a little at the way he's calling you out - mainly because you know he's right. "It'll be ready."

He continues to pace.

"Gguk," you press - as if you didn't take a million years building up the courage to take the test.

"Right," he nods, turning to face the door. "Yeah. Phew. Okay."

Light on his feet, he's still bouncing. It's a distraction method more than anything. Helps his brain regulate his chaotic thoughts a little better. Gets them in order.

Bringing your legs up to your chest, you wait patiently on the sofa. Kind of wish you'd been the one the win. At this point you just want to know. Just wanna-

"Fuck."

The sound of Jeongguk's voice echoes from the bathroom. No greater clarification is given. A second passes. The sound of a deep-rooted sigh exhaling is the only true indication that Jeongguk is aware of your fates.

And suddenly, you don't want to know at all. You yo-yo between blissful ignorance and desperation for knowledge.

As he reenters the living space, he doesn't look over at you. Heads straight for your freezer. Yanks it open, and pulls the vodka from the door. Knocks the freezer shut, and reaches over to the draining board for a shot glass. Pours himself a shot. Hisses as it goes down. Turns to face you. Pours another. Walks a little closer, and holds it out for you. It's now that you realise he's still holding the test. Nose a little blushed, eyes watery, he says nothing.

"Gguk, I don't think vodka is goo-"

"It doesn't matter," he cuts you off, presenting you with the small pink stick. Tentatively reaching for it, you're scared to look - and so Jeongguk clarifies. "One line. Not pregnant."

"Oh, fuck," you exhale. Take the shot and down it immediately. Pass Jeongguk the shot glass. Let him pour himself another. Welcome it as a second one is also poured for you, but put the empty glass on the coffee table afterwards this time. Jeongguk takes the seat opposite you as you study the test once more, making sure for certain. Look up at him with absolute elation. "I could kiss you right now."

It's just an expression, and he knows this, but fuck it. He wishes you would. Knows better than to encourage it.

"B, that's exactly what got us into this mess," he reminds you with a laugh. Pulls you in for a hug. Squeezes you so tightly you think you might just burst. "Fucking hell. I thought we were fucked."

Nodding against him, you let out a tearful laugh. The gravity of the situation hits you like a tonne of bricks. The pair of you are so happy. Deliriously so. If the test has been positive? Yeah... You don't imagine you would have felt this way.

"That was, like, the most stressful thing I've ever experienced," you whine a little, pulling away from him, to sit up straight. The smile on your lips is radiant, the look in your eyes cosmic - and he's mirroring you. "Like, no offence to your future offspring, but I couldn't think of anything worse."

He just nods. "Ditto." Laughs. Falls back into the cushions on the sofa, but drags you down with him. Hugs you even tighter than before. "Let's just never fuck again. I can't deal with the stress."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

And even though it's said in jest, there is an acute understanding that perhaps you should take a step back. Not from your friendship, nor from anything else - just the misplaced intimacy you both enjoy far too much.

Resting your chin on his chest, you wait for him to glance down. The angle is awkward and Jeongguk is well aware it's not the finest, but he doesn't care how you perceive him. Knows that the (rare) appearance of a double chin isn't exactly gonna make you run for the hills. In fact, you kind of like the angle. His eyes are so focused on you that it almost makes it hard for you to focus on him. You get a little lost in his constellations, hopping from star to star.

"I'm sorry I prolonged it," you whisper, but he just shakes his head.

"S'fine. It's done now."

He means it. Would take the stress and the turmoil of the unknown ten times over, if it means he gets this at the end of it. The way you curl up to him without hesitation, not a single care given to the world around you, evokes a lotus blossom in his chest. Blooming in even the darkest cavern, it'll survive all storms. No test of weather nor threat of disruption will ever sever it from its roots. Pretty, pink, and sparkling, it's yours. He'll keep it safe.

"You gonna head back to the gym?" You ask him, not wanting him to feel like he has to say - but once more, he just shakes his head. Says something about a new docu-series on Netflix. Mumbles shit about needing a rest day.

Truthfully, you'd quite like him to stay.

So you offer him your shower, and when he asks if you'll join, you say, "Gguk, have we learned nothing?"

His cheeks flame as a pretty laugh escapes his lips. For a second, you worry. Fear that your rejection will rehash old worries of his - but instead, he just gives you a fond smile. "Yeah. You're right."

While Jeongguk showers, you sort yourself out. Toss the test in your bedroom, and close the door. It can stay there in solitude. You don't care for it. Don't need it. For a moment, albeit a very small one, you consider what could have happened if there had been two lines in the result window - then decide it's better off not tempting fate.

Jeongguk apparently doesn't get this memo. Comes out of your bathroom in just a towel wrapped around his hips. Doesn't tempt fate, but he does tempt you. Makes you convince yourself that maybe the negative test is a sign from the stars. An all clear. The go-ahead.

Shag Jeongguk, the stars whisper while they twinkle. You'll be fine.

But the stars are not to be trusted. They romanticise things a little too much. Give you false promises and prophesize empty futures.

"My God," you scold him. "Put some clothes on!"

It takes everything in him not to just drop his towel instead - but you were right. You're supposed to have learned from this lesson. You've so many of his clothes in your room now that he may as well have his own mini wardrobe. Just grabs a pair of shorts and a white shirt. Looks so cosy that you can't refuse when he encourages you to snuggle against him.

By the time Danbi arrives home from work, you and Jeongguk are both out like lights.

Asleep on the sofa, curled up, back to Jeongguk's chest, the documentary is still running. A soft smile rests on her lips as she quietly makes her way to her bedroom. Wonders when the pair of you will just grow up and come to the same realisation that quite literally everybody else has.

Which is exactly why she's so adamant on making the pair of you speak about it the following week, during pre-drinks at Jeongguk and Jimin's place.

It's not a grand night out or any celebration - just an excuse to get together with friends. Mid-seasons, there's much to do other than socialise with your nearest and dearest, and Jeongguk wants to blow off a little steam before his meeting with the Bank. Knows that once the ball is rolling and progress is being made, he won't have the opportunity to be so reckless with his time.

For now, though, he'll revel in the novelty of normalcy.

"Honestly," Jeongguk stresses, beer in hand, tipsy determination lacing his features. "I know what you think you saw, but-"

"Oh, not Jeongguk coming in strong with gaslighting," Danbi snorts, wine glass to her lips as her eyes judgmentally cast you both knowing gazes. Currently grilling him about the night at The Ryu, she doesn't buy his excuses for a second. "You can't deny the gallery. You almost kissed ! In front of everyone ."

She raises a good point; One that you are quick to deny.

"Ah," you interject. "But the key word, there, is almost . We were just trying to make it look like we were into one another. And, I mean.. gotcha!"

Jimin snorts. Mimics. " 'Look .'"

You ignore him. Continue to defend yourselves. Pretend like you didn't notice a small holographic fleck on Jeongguk's skin earlier. He's still stained in you, even if you haven't been painting his skin lovely shades of pink and purple much these days.

Despite Taehyung's art show having been and gone well over two weeks ago, it's the first time you're all hanging out together. You'll meet the others later when you get into town, so for now, you revel in the harmless bantering of your closest friends within the group.

The bottle of beer in Jeongguk's hand slowly warms, condensation sweltering down the sides. He takes a swig, and knocks it back with a shake of his head. "We aren't dating, we aren't fucking - what more do you want from us? For us to lie?"

"But you are lying!" Jimin whines, pulling one of the sofa pillows up to his face. Pressing down into it, he screams.

You don't care to hide the coy smile you throw Jeongguk's way. He doesn't care to hide his either, kind of enjoying the ridiculousness of it all. Biting down on his plump bottom lip, you're distracted momentarily by the way his lip ring flips in the corner of his mouth.

"Why does it even matter?" You laugh, getting your feet so you can retrieve your punnet of strawberries from the fridge. "What will confirmation do? Won't change anything."

"It'll satisfy my ever-present need to be correct," Jimin assures you, and it does make you laugh.

But then you're turning to walk back, and are struck by how gorgeous Jeongguk's new haircut makes him appear. He's always been charming. Always hot. There's just something about the way it's pushed back, and a few strands remain loose, that really gets you. Looks like a hot mechanic or some shit like that. The kinda guy who'd know his way around an engine.

Coming to stop beside Jeongguk, you perch on the arm of the sofa. Smirk. Bite down on your bottom lip.

Clasping his chin, you're pleased to see a total lack of surprise on Jeongguk's face. Instead, he trusts you. Knows that whatever you're doing comes with purpose. This isn't about desire.

He plays the hand you've dealt him spectacularly. Leaning in a little closer - but notably not as close as he's used to - you let the very tip of your nose nudge against his. Grin. Whisper, loud enough for your friends to hear, "Shall we tell them?"

Stroking his hand up your waist while you keep him locked in position, Jeongguk is almost too good at playing the role of a devoted lover. Looks at you with Orion's bow in his eyes, though if you were to think critically, you'd know it was Cupid who had struck him.

"About which part?"

Your friends stare in stunned silence. Jimin's jaw looks like it's fallen off its hinges. It's not like either of you notice. You're entirely focused on one another right now. Are just doing it for the shits and giggles, but kinda forget you're supposed to be winding your friends up, not each other.

"The part where we're actually embroiled in a FinDom contract, and the only reason I stick around is for the money," you lie with such cadence that it sounds entirely plausible.

They all know Jeongguk's in no position to finance such a lifestyle, mind you. They know it must be bullshit.

Jeongguk playfully frowns. "I thought we agreed on never telling a living soul? Anyways, I think they'd be more interested to know sex parties we go to every weekend?"

"Oh shit, you're right," you enthuse, quite clearly both trying to outdo the other. "And about your Daddy kink."

Now this one does make Jeongguk's lips twitch a little, denial begging its way up his throat, but painfully swallowed by his need to keep the game up. So instead, he shrugs. "They'll be just as interested in your Mummy kink."

But even if Jeongguk can fake it for that long, you can't. Need to tap out, otherwise you'll burst out laughing. Easing your grip on his jaw, you saunter back to your place on the sofa and simply shrug. Raise a brow. Let your tongue cheekily flick against your teeth as you address your friends. "Was that the confirmation you were after?"

"I'm gonna be sick," Jimin groans, rolling about on the floor.

"Oh, give over," you laugh. "You didn't actually believe that?"

Jeongguk needs another beer. Wants to wash away the mind-numbing way it feels to flirt with you, but knows there's absolutely no way he can stand right now. Would only serve to prove the suspicions of your friends true.

"I've seen Jeongguk lie before," Jimin reminds you. "Can't lie to save his life-"

"Hey!"

"- but that was the most convincing set of words that have ever come out of his mouth. You two are freaks - confirmed - and I wish I had never asked. Am scarred for life."

Glancing over to Jeongguk, you're pleased to see he's finding this just as funny as you are.

"Phew," he feigns relief. Braces himself, 'cause he knows what he's about to say is gonna get a reaction. "Was worried you'd react badly. It's why we didn't tell you about the Brony convention we're going to next weekend."

"Brony?!"

"What the fuck?"

"How do you even know what a Brony is?!"

"Wait... What is a Brony?" Taehyung asks a little cluelessly, and honestly, you think it's best to let Danbi explain that one.

As the conversation derails, you excuse yourself to go and make another drink. You're not due to leave the apartment for another half an hour or so, and there's plenty of liquor to tide you over until then.

Coming to stand behind you, your friends distracted by their own debate, Jeongguk lets his hand rest on your hip. It's not an unusual position for him to be in. He's acquainted with you in all and every capacity thinkable - there's not an inch of your skin that he hasn't devoured.

He's kissed, and he's caressed. Worshipped and reddened with the intimate touch of his hands. Has held your body so closely at times it's been hard to tell where his ended and yours began.

The encroachment upon your personal space is never intrusive with him. Is always welcome.

"What are we having?" He asks, not thinking anything of his incessant need to be touching you. It's just comfortable. Natural. Familiar.

"Was thinking about Star Lovers," you tell him.

Funny, really. He's been thinking about them a lot too, tonight - though perhaps not the kind you're talking about.

"Star Lovers," he simply nods. Smiles. Says, "Yeah. Sounds perfect."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[isabella-kr]

Just read your reassurance fic and fuckin loved it. Absolutely feral for price rn. Not sure if you're still open for requests, but i am a strong believer that price gives the best hugs, holds you to his chest for comfort, problemsolving kinda hugs, but maybe something happened and now its oc/reader's time to return the favour.

This is the first time I've ever made a request so hope I did it right lol. basically I'm starving for fluff. maybe a bit of hurt/comfort.

Thank you so much for requesting!! I'm so glad you liked it!! I agree, he definitely gives incredible hugs and I would kill to experience them at least once. I hope you don't mind, but I made this an F!reader because you didn't specify and it's what I find easiest; however, if you'd like me to change this to gender neutral, let me know and I will edit this :))

Out of Your Control

Do not repost

Synopsis: After a mission gone awry, Price can't help but blame himself for everything that had gone wrong. Hugs won't solve the problem, but they will definitely help ease his nerves.

Pairing: John Price x Female!Reader (Hints of an established relationship)

Genre: Angst & Fluff / Hurt & Comfort

Warnings: Swearing, self-blame, Price cries, reader cries, use of ‘sweetheart’ and ‘love’ 

Word Count: 2k

General Masterlist COD:MWII Masterlist

GIF not mine

The mission was a disaster.

Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. It was as though the enemy was expecting them, and decided to make his defence ten times stronger, quicker, and more ruthless. It was clear that the mission was doomed for failure from the start, but they prevailed nonetheless; eager to complete their task.

The place was swarming with soldiers who were armed with weapons from head to toe. So were they, but no matter how armed their Squad seemed to be, the enemy soldiers had twice as many guns, and twice as many blades. They were like flies on a hot summer’s day, doubling at speeds that didn’t seem humanly possible, and before long, they were surrounded from every corner.  

Their hushed voices rang out through the comms as they considered their next course of action. Yet as Price was about to tell them to retreat - to evacuate because there was no way they would come out if this mission alive – it was already too late. Loud sirens rang out in their ears, and the rapid sounds of stomping boots made the hairs at the back of all their necks stand up. It went south too quickly for them to even attempt to deescalate the situation.  

Bullets rained down like hail, and it didn’t take a genius to know they would not be getting out of this scot-free, and none of them did. Some of their injuries were worse than others, but they all looked equally beat up, as though they were on the brink of death.  

It was barely an hour later that they were sat in the medical bay, with nurses and doctors running around them like headless chickens. Their frantic movements and hushed whispers made her head feel like a balloon ready to be popped, and she could only assume the others felt the same from the way their faces scrunched up with discomfort.  

Price was nowhere to be seen, having ran out the moment the nurses told him he was free to go. The Captain’s injuries weren’t as severe as the others, and that only seemed to worsen the guilt he was already feeling.  

It was Soap who looked the worst out of all of them, like Death himself was about to knock on his door and take him away. Yet somehow, with half of his face turned purple, and his left eye swollen shut, he still managed to send her a sweet smile the moment their eyes locked together.  

She sent him a sympathetic glance in return, hissing and flinching when a bullet was suddenly extracted from the flesh of her thigh. She almost glared at the doctor who pulled the metal out of her, but stopped herself when an anti-septic was wiped over the open wound, and another wave of pain made an anguished groan leave her throat. She could only sigh and wait for this to be over; to finally leave and get some time for herself.  

“Take this,” a nurse spoke with a sweet smile, giving her three small pills and a cup of water. Once she downed the medicine and emptied the small, plastic cup, the nurse nodded, “Good. Now, you get some rest, alright? You need it.”  

“Thank you,” she nodded, plopping down from her bed to leave the stuffy room. She winced with every limped step she took, but decided she would rather suffer than spend the night in the medical room because of a non-fatal injury.  

She wasted no time before making her way over to her room, welcoming the familiar smell with a smile on her face. The material that was soaked with her sweat and blood was pulled off her tired body, and soon replaced with something more comfortable. The new clothes were soft to the touch and didn’t stick to her bruised skin, making her sigh out in relief. She decided to wear something that would cover her up entirely, not out of modesty, but to hide the injuries from the captain’s guilt-filled eyes.  

After leaving her room and making another stop to brew two cups of tea, she began making her way down a long corridor. It didn’t take her too long to arrive at Price’s office, though the wound in her thigh definitely slowed her down somewhat. His door seemed to be locked shut, for when she pressed her elbow against the handle, it didn’t budge.  

With a small sigh, she knocked on the door with the rip of her boot, and waited for the door to be opened. Yet no sound came from inside the room; no gruff voice telling her to piss off; no sound of papers rustling, and no heavy footsteps making their way across the room.  

She exhaled sharply, eyes closing as she kicked the door harder than before. Some of the tea trickled down from the mugs, the steaming hot liquid burning the skin of her finger. She ignored the burning sensation, instead focusing on the man who she knew was on the opposite side of the door.  

“Sir, I need to speak with you,” she spoke out loud, hoping the sound of urgency in her voice would get him to open up. But alas, the silence continued. “Captain-” she looked around her, making sure there was no-one there to hear her next words, “John… please let me in.”  

That seemed to get him moving, as only a few seconds passed before the door was pulled open. She walked in without waiting for permission, and placed the two hot mugs on his desk. Her eyes were quick to notice the scattered papers on his desk, his handwriting turning frantic on some of them.  

Her eyes soon settled on the bearded man who walked around the desk and sat down in his chair. He had a blank look in his eyes, and she slowly sat down on the chair on the other side of the desk. She moved one of the mugs closer towards him, but he made no attempt to reach for it. His eyes didn’t even glance down to look at it.  

“John,” she spoke slowly. Softly.

He didn’t look at her, and she swore his eyes were avoiding eye contact at all costs. There was a dark bruise forming on the apple of his left cheek, the skin turning a dark purple, mixed with a sickly yellow. A deep gash also decorated his clavicle, the skin red a raw, yet the wound was not deep enough to require stitches.  

She could feel her heart break into a million pieces at the sight of his hopeless state. “John,” she whispered once again, “…sweetheart.”  

This time, his eyes moved to look into hers. They were glazed over, and she could tell he was close to cracking, the guilt eating him up alive.  

“This wasn’t your fault, John,” she told him with a shake of her head.

He let out a humourless laugh. The type of laugh that told her just how deep in despair he was. “Yeah, it was. I should’ve known better.”  

“John, no.” She disagreed, “You couldn’t have predicted this.”  

“No, but I should’ve been ready for it,” he argued, “I should’ve been prepared for things to go wrong.”  

“And you were,” she spoke softly, “But we were all taken by surprise. None of us could have known this was going to happen. No matter how prepared we could have been. No matter what you think you could’ve done, we were simply too outnumbered.”  

With a tilt of his head, he exhaled sharply, “This was supposed to be an easy mission. In and out.”  

She nodded in understanding, “And it would’ve been if the information you were given was correct,” she pointed out. “This one was out of your hands, John.”

He shook his head in disagreement, hie eyes trained on the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. With a small wince, she pushed herself off the chair and walked over towards him. Her fingers curled around his jaw and she moved him so that his eyes were locked with hers.  

“John, what matters is that we’re all alive.” She told him, “You’re fine. The boys are fine. I’m fine. We’re all okay.”  

With a blank stare, his hand moved to her thigh and applied some pressure in the exact spot where the bullet had penetrated her skin. He didn’t do it hard, in fact, he barely touched the area. Yet despite all that, she felt like a thousand needles were stabbed into her sore skin at once.  

She choked at the pain that travelled through her body, and her hand instinctively pulled his away. He stared at her with a look that told her he did not believe a word she just told him. How could he when the soft, and otherwise welcome gesture caused her so much pain.  

“You don’t sound fine to me, love.”  

“John.” She scolded, “This isn’t something that’s never happened to me before. I’ve lost count of how many times I got shot, and I’m sure you have too.”  

He didn’t respond to the accusation, his eyes only closing in shame. With a small, yet deep sigh, she managed to pull him towards her. The non-bruised side of his face was pressed against her chest, and her arms wrapped securely around him. The palm of her left hand cradled the back of his head, whilst the other moved to rub comforting circles on his shoulders.  

“I know you won’t believe me,” she whispered, “But none of us blame you. Not Ghost, not Soap, not Gaz, and most definitely not me”  

Upon hearing her words, he wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her even closer to him than she was before. A small whimper left his lips, and he moved his face so that his nose was pressing against her. She moved down, carefully not to startle him, and kissed the crown of his head. She kept her face there, only tightening her hold around him when his body began to shake; the dam which he had built breaking into pieces as he allowed his emotions to flow freely.  

His tears soaked through her shirt, and the situation made her own eyes well with tears. She didn’t care when they began to roll down her cheeks, or when his fingers clenched around the material of her shirt and pulled on it. She only cared that he finally let himself feel, without shoving his emotions away until they became unbearable.  

“We would never blame you for this. Sometimes things are out of our control, okay?” She hummed against him, “There’s no point in beating ourselves up over it. It’s in the past. We can’t change it, so let it go. Please, just let it go.”  

A sob wrecked through his body, and his fingers let go of her shirt to dig into her skin. He managed to nod against her, and she felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She knew the guilt had not fully left him, and that they still had a long way to go, but this was progress. She was just glad he was willing to try and move past it, and no matter how long it would take him, she would remain by his side the entire time.  

She would wrap her arms around him and hold him close as he let the tears flow freely, just as he had done for her so many times before. She would hold him for as long as he needed her to, even if her arms began to ache, she would keep her arms wrapped securely around him.  

“Just please…” she sniffled, “Don’t beat yourself up over this. We’re all going to be fine. Nothing a little rest and some medicine can’t fix.”  

“And some stitches.”

“Yeah,” she let out a small laugh as her lips pressed against his hair once more, “And some stitches.”  

[thebarontheabyss]

head empty except for this wip that is living rent free in my head.. please pay me rent, i am broke xD

how would the ros react with an mc that has zero self preservation skills. an absolute disaster. no sense of danger at all. but incredible luck. the "brings a wolf home because they thought it was a dog and wanted to find its owner" type *young mc holding up a very unimpressed but otherwise chill racoon* LOOK WHAT I FOUND! mcs teacher: *distressed and confused noises* How did it not scratch you????

Lol, sorry for squatting your mind!

So In the afterlife, where mortality is a concept of the past, danger is not exactly as straightforward. So, your MC's disregard for self-preservation becomes less about personal risk and more about the absolute chaos they leave in their wake!

The Raven would have a field day with the MC’s antics. "Oh, another 'pet' to add to our collection? Maybe next time you'll bring home a dragon," he’ll quip sarcastically, his tone laced with equal parts amusement and exasperation. Despite his remarks, he’ll be a bit worried about the potential messes to clean up.

Death would be constantly perplexed by the MC's actions. "What… drove you to do that?" they'd ask with a puzzled smile. The MC’s behavior would definitely leave Death even more confused about human (or formerly human) nature.

Lilith/Damien would revel in the MC's unpredictable nature. They'd see it as a source of entertainment and might even encourage the MC's reckless behavior for their own amusement. "You do keep the afterlife interesting," they'd remark with a grin.

Morgan/Morgana, used to their own brand of reckless magic, would find a kindred spirit in the MC. They might caution the MC but would also be intrigued by their audacity. "Just make sure you don't bring down the bar with you," they'd warn, half-jokingly.

Peisinoe would view the MC's behavior with a mix of disdain and reluctant admiration. "Such flamboyance in tempting fate. But do remember, not all of us are as charmed," they'd say, ensuring their space remains an oasis of calm amidst the MC's chaos.

Shelly would be both worried and amused by the MC's antics. "You remind me of my little siblings," she'd say with a laugh, making sure to keep an extra eye on the MC and hiding the strong booze, just for safety measures.

Hastur would be ever-vigilant, ready to intervene if the MC's luck ever ran thin. "There is a fine line between bravery and folly. Tread it wisely," he'd counsel, his watchful eyes always on the lookout for any actual danger.

Yaga would grumble about the MC's escapades, predicting all the ways it could go wrong. Despite her complaints, she'd always be prepared to offer advice or assistance, albeit grudgingly.

He Without Name would observe the MC's actions with silent curiosity. "Chaos… Entropy…" He will whisper after every incident.

[ninicaise]

@bacchantbroccoli what the people want the people get!! warning though i am not a fan of the girlboss queen perfect tragic dead woman so get ready for some messy disaster mothers. also i did not intend for them to be this long so i had to split them a little for readability.

hennike lore in my head:

marie-antoinette ass character. marie-antoinette-esque. marie-antoinette core. etc

didn't have a filter in the most innocent way possible, didn't fit in with the subtlety of veretian court politics which is part of why laurent is drawn to damen's tendency to say whatever the fuck he was thinking most of the time.

auguste had to do a lot of the heavy lifting raising laurent partly bc she was sick a lot and couldn't always get out of bed and partly bc she saw auguste was so good at her and aleron's job she sometimes decided he could handle the whole thing. was young when she was married off so she tended to be a little self-centred; she didn't have time to grow out of being a child before having children herself.

despite this she did the best she could and tried to bond with them especially academically and creatively, and tried her best to include kemptian culture in both of their educations. speaking of;

she tried to raise her kids bilingual but it didn't last long bc aleron didn't like that as he is basically a cartoon villain. she put up with a lot of shit from aleron in general bc marriage love duty which resulted in auguste putting up with a lot of shit from Everyone Ever All The Time bc kingdom love duty which lead to laurent putting up with the regent's shit and being ridiculed in his own court for so many years. bc family love trauma status.

maybe if she still had the tendency to always say whatever the fuck crossed her mind by the time she realized she was being poisoned then things would've been different.

hypermenestra lore in my head:

this is a messy one okay basically choices were made and they were not the best ones.

first thing about hypermenestra is that was sooo loving so adoring so protective of kastor to the point of being overbearing. permissive. keep that in mind.

didn't mind whether kastor was going to be king or not but after a few years she got used to the idea so damen was a huge shock to her. she tried not to let it show too much bc egeria was her friend and whatnot but kastor could tell. being only child for the majority of his childhood usually coddled and not having much demanded from him given they were still lowkey hoping from an heir from egeria but still being told it was likely he was going to be king was a DISASTROUS choice on both theomedes and hypermenestra's part and on top of that hypermenestra was a piss poor liar. kastor Noticed.

she was not cold towards damen but she was not motherly either bc she didn't see it as her responsibility (which. was she wrong).

she could see kastor being a little bummed at the whole situation and tried to cheer him up by telling him he would've done a better job than damen at ruling anyway, this one time she went as far as ignoring damen being in the same room as her bc kastor was in a mood. often called kastor her 'little king' once or twice letting a 'my true king' slip which. had its consequences.

must stress this is not bc she was resentful of anyone, she just didn't want kastor to be sad or frustrated or any negative emotion ever and she didn't know how to deal with it. she was in absolute agony every time she saw kastor have the slightest fucking frown it was honestly incredible to see.

overall had no intention of creating a coup but ultimately theomedes loved her so much and was so permissive with her that she loved kastor so much she was so permissive with him that kastor decided he could do whatever he wanted. ironically, damen never got that permission, and when he realized in slavery that he had been taking something that wasn't his, he accepted it gracefully and with dignity, and decided to give it back with ease.

+ egeria lore bc i started thinking abt my one true rightful queen of akielos:

did not want children for a long time. she fully understood the responsibility that having a child meant and fully believed she was not ready. used a lot of contraceptive methods for a few years and it really messed up with her system, unfortunately.

probably would've made the best mother of the lot. ironic isn't it.

had an incredible vision. could see shit coming from miles away which gave her a tendency to jump to conclusions too quickly and accept no other information + be a bit too much with criticism. this got an unflattering reputation for a few years, added to the fact that she was also very private very cold very tactical for an akielon, and thus very lonely.

it's not that she didn't care for people and she wasn't cold, or harsh, just stoic. she wasn't exactly an approachable person. in fact, the only time she was seen with true softness on her face was the first and only time she held damen in her arms.

got along better with hypermenestra than theomedes. she thought theomedes was a little thick and lacked insightfulness and she knew theomedes thought she was basically insane. mostly their marriage was one of mutual tolerance. hypermenestra on the other hand was very eloquent even though she tended to agree with everything egeria said in the end. couldn't keep a damn opinion but at least she understood egeria when she talked.

kastor though, big fan. egeria loved that child’s wisdom, was more of an aunt figure to him at the time. she got kinda sad when kastor stopped talking to her after she got pregnant, but she understood it.

in truth very little was known about the late queen. nobody dared to get close enough to really know her. and well. queen egeria was so lovely, so dedicated, knowledgable and clever, gentle and playful at times, even. had anyone taken the time to know her, to truly see her, she wouldn't be just another tragic royal death now. damen asked around and though he didn't come to this exact same conclusion, he got the feeling there was something missing in the way people spoke about his mother. had he known her, he would have truly seen her. he has a tendency to want to see past appearences, still.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Monkie Kid

season 4

episode 1

knox reaction

HECK

L- help that’s so funny i just started typing this and my youngest bro came up to me and went “shouldn’t you be watching monkie kid?” THE TIMING WAS IMPECCABLE I’M ON THE FLOORBG;SAKMF;AWLEF

ANYWAY HE’S RIGHT I SHOULD BE

I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE SINCE EIGHT THIRTY AND IT’S ONE NOW AND EVERY TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT WATCHING I’D GET SO HYPE IT FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA IMPLODE BUT HECK IT HECK IT WE BALL, LETS ROLL I’M READY TO SCREAM AND CRY AND SOB AND WHAT THE HECK AM I GETTING IN FOR-

man i love this show this is insane

ALRIGHT

guys I haven’t even opened the file pls it’s just sitting there i’m cryiNGBG;ALAWFIAMWF

OKAY

OKAY I CAN DO THIS

(ajr bang song music) HERE WE G O

opened the file. I have accepted there’s no way i’m going to be normal about any of this

can i just say tho i’m impressed how quickly we got the english episodes season 3 was waiting months and avoiding spoilers was like walking through a minefield- wdym no i’m not stalling

HECK OKAY STARTING HERE WE GO

i have closed discord no longer distracted

OH GODS I PRESSED PLAY I;MGNSDF;LKMAFAWGBA;IOWMF

THEMESONG WTHEME SONG I’M GOINT GBDFBSALKFMA;OWIABG;IWEMF;AMF

so

I have

seen the theme that was shared last month but

oh man i am

i am still not normal

I

GUYS ITS GBSDFB;AWKMEFFL

CAN I PLS JUST

THE BEGINNING?? PLS??? THE GOING THROUGH VICTORIES THEY’VE HAD, THE LBD ONE I’M BGSDF;MAWOIEFMAF

AND NOW EVERYONE’S GOT THEIR JTTW COUNTERPARTS/PAST LIVES BEHIND THEM AND I AM MENTALLY ILL WHY IS EVERYTHING THIS SHOW DOES SO FREAKING PRETTY PLS I’M GBSDFLK;MA;GOINWFAMF AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sorry going through it frame by frame we’ll be here a while I try and make it quick

I love how Zhu Bajie is holding a kitchen knife sir still cooks 10/10, hecking desert for Tang with ruins and HMBGSLDKFMAWEF SANDY, SANDY MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED, ALL THE SKELTONS IN THE BACKGROUND WITH HIM AND THE WILD RED HAIR DESIGN FOR SHA WUJING GIVES ME LIFE, MEI WITH THE DRAGON PALACE BEHIND HER I’M IN TEARS, AND THEN WE GET TO THE MONKEYS, AND THE SCROLL WINDING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND I SWEAR IF THIS IS TIME TRAVEL, OR DELVING INTO SWK’S MEMORIES, OR GOING INTO THE BOOK I’M FLIPPING TABLES I HAVE SO MANY GUESSES AND I’M SURE NONE OF THEM ARE RIGHT SWK AND MAC HELLO DISASTER MONKEYS YOUR’E BEAUTIFUL HIS HAT HIS HAT I’M GONNA CRYGBLSAE;KFMAWEF

as you can see I am perfectly normal about this show LEGO Monkie Kid

lion fella looking at swk, hi you can tell the lion dude is a fave the way he’s drawn no fr literally just in the theme song he is so shaped, i’m sure he’s great but SWK BELOVED WITH HIS MONKEYS |;A;/ PLS THE SWORN BROTHERS ALL LAUGHING AND MESSING AND SWK LOOKING PASSED OUT ON THE TABLE PLS I’MGBNSDFLKAMWEO DBK’S SMILE FACING OFF AGAINST THE HELPGNDFL WITH NEZHA THERE AND AAAAAAAAAAAA MAC THERE AND AAAAAAAA

we’re cool we’re normal, i remember someone saying this was supposed to be like a filler season not so plot heavy or something, i call cap this is gonna emotionally destroy me i can already feel it

MK GETS LI’LL MECH IT LOOKS LIKE IT TELAPORTED THERE THAT MIGHT JUST BE FOR THE THEME SONG BUT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME IF HE LEARNS HOW TO DO THAT HELLO??

new outfits new outfits new outfits NEW OUTFITS NEW FITS NEW FITS NEW FITS

TANG GETTING A HAND OF HIS BUBBLE SPELL, PIGSY HYPE PIGSY HYPE PIGSY STANS WHERE WE AT, NAH I LOVE THIS DUDE SM, FATHER OF THE YEAR only Sandy could  smile that brightly standing on a pile of bones and skulls i swear MY MANS WEARING HALF A SHIRT PLS BGS;LFKMAW;EOFIM

so hear me out, theory moment, all this dark looking fools with blue eyes, i swear they look like ink, ink from a book perhaps? maybe i book they get thrown into HECK IF I KNOW I’M JUST SO HYPED I SWEAR I’M SHAKING THEY HAVE THEIR WEAPONS HBGBSDF;AMWOEIMF SCREAAAMSSS fighting evil ink clones of their past lives? MK FACING OFF AGAINST MONKEY OFC I JUST AM SO FREAKING EXCITED I CANTBGL;SDFMAOI;EWFMASLKFAWOIEMKDSF

the jttw crew looks so freaking dope i love them

gosh this show’s animation is just FLYING BARK YOU HAVE MY ENTIRE SOUL NOTHING BUT MAD RESPECT AND GRATEFULNESS FOR MAKING THIS HIGH QUALITY OF ANIMATION

okay okay theme song over, i managed to have that only take up like… less space than ses 3 I’M DOING GOOD SEE GSDBFA;LKFMEWOFIAMFKLAF

okay actual episode time I’m gonna cry when i hear any of them i’mgbkl;fma;owef

oh ohhh hello hellloooooo hello mysterious swooshy beginning hiiii

OH OH

IS THIS

THIS LOOKS LIKE THE UNDERWORLD

HELLO??

ALL THE LITTLE FLOATY LIGHTS IS THIS THE UNDERWORLD??? DEATH?? HI? ????

i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

that’s a dope fit dude, i’m biased towards sick hoods tho i will say, looks like he has like an arrow on the back of his hand whats that i feel like i’m being presumptious assigning this dude as he- OH COME ON THAT’S SO DOPE THAT’S SUCH A COOL HEBGSFLKMAIOWEJFIAMFMMF HELLO ROOM FULL OF SPINNY THINGS IS THAT THE DEATH NAME BOOK\???? AAAAA

i’m jumping ahead might not be the underworld at all i could be wrong AAAAAAASCREAMSNGBSLK;DFMAWEF

SIR THE VIOLENCE OF THAT SPIN LIKE, THE HECKING FORCE OF SOMETHING LOOKING SO EASY AND IT SHAKES THE WHOLE FLOOR IS SOMETHING ALRIGHT I’M BGDS;LFMA;OEWF

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

STIMMING STIMMING CHILLS I CAN’T TYPE I’M TOO BUSY STIMMINGBGFSDL;JFMA;WE SCREAMSNBSGSDKFLM SCREAMSBGSKMDFLM HELGGBBSKAMW;EF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

nice transition i love this show i’m in pieces GLOWY LETTERS ITS THEY ITS THEM WHAT DOES THIS MEEEAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

DOUBLE SNAKE

oh we have old lego people now hello gents NAH BUT THEIR BACKGROUND CHARACTER DESIGN IS ALWAYS SO FIRE

the trio of grandma’s my beloveds

PLS I CAN’T BEILEVE HOW DISGRUNTLED THIS ONE PERSON LOOKS AT BEING THROWN INTO THE AIR BGSLKF;MAWEMIF

have

kay

so so

so sooo so hey hi hello hi there i

i am smiling

so big rn sir

the grandmas mk MK

MK

MY BOY

MY LAD

MY MAN

IT HE

I ADORE

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ITS HE

So i really love this funky monkie man, i adore him, he is serotonin, he is everything, he is so wonderful

OKAY AND THE SNAKES EXPRESSION IS SO FUNNY PLS, JUST *SWEATS* MASSIVE STAFF MY LAD IS DOING SO WELL I’MGBSDALKFMAWE

VOICE I

I NEED TO PRESS PLAY AGAIN I WANT TO HEAR HIM I WANTBG;LSDFMAWE I LOVE THIS FREAKING SHOW SOMEBDOY SEDATE ME BGDS;LFKMA;WEF

POWERFUL

HE IS BUT A LAD

HE IS T H E  LAD

“GOOD MORNING LADIES”

PLS

PLS

PLS

PLS

PLS

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND PLSBGB;SDFMA;OWIEFMAWENASNGWIEMFKSMF

HIS SMILE

HISBGSLKFMAWE

GOOD MORNIGN MK

WHAT A SWEETIE

PLS

ADOPTED GRANDMAS THANK YOU

MISS LADIES GM

I’M

I’M GOING TO START SOBBING I SWEAR HE IS EVERYHTINGBFMAOIAWJE;FAGBAEFMASF

POWERFUL LAD

HE IS NOTHING BUT VIBINGBSDF;LKAMWE

SELFIE

PLS HE’S TAKING SELFIES WITH THE GRANDMAS I’M BGSLFKM;AWE

THE BLEP

PLS

PLS HE’S SO WONDERFUL I AM NORMAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER I SWEAR

JIN AND YIN

THE LADS

nice caps mates y’all stylin this season 10/10

OH THEIR SNAKE NICE

HELPGNSLFKMWE HAS THE STAFF

STILL TAKES THE VEHICLE

WHOAH

WHAT THE

SEARPENT SHEARS

FANCY

OH THEY’RE SO FANCY TODAY

THOSE ARE MASSIVE

PLS

MMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

MA’AM OF MY HEART

FIRE OF MY HEART

GIRL OF MY WORLD

WHAT WORDS BELVOED

BELOVED

SHE’S STYLIN IN A SHIP

PLS

PLS IT’S ALWAYS BREAKING DOWN

HER LAUGH

HER LAUGH IS EVERYHTINGSKFLSDMF

:O

PRETTY NEW ROBE

OHH HELLO? HOW’D THEY GET HIS RING???

WHERE’D YOU GET ALL THESSENL;GMAWEF-

w wait

wait did they get them from monkey kings place? because if so that’d be really funnybGLKAMWEF

OKAY NAH THO THE “that we’ve SOMEHOW managed to steal” LIKE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW THEY DID IT EITHER I KNOW IT’S WRITING BUT ITS STILL SO FUNNY PLS BGS;LKFMWEA;IOFM

JUST THROWING THINGS

NOT EVEN USING THEM AS WEAPONS

JUST TOSSING THINGS

HELPGNSDLKFMWE

ESPLOSION

MEIIII

EMJIGNSFLKWEM

AAAAAAAAAAAA

CAN

I’M SO HYPE

PLS

LAD GETS A PERSONAL MECH

I’M GONNA CRY

LOOK HOW GOOD HE IS

nNICE CATCH MONKEY MAN

CAUGHT

SNATCHED

NOTHING DOING

EASY MEAL

RIP

BUGGAR

PLS

TEAM ATTACK

I’M GONNA CRY

YOU DID NOT NEED TO DESTROY THAT WHOLE BUIDLIGN PLS BGSLFMKAWE

AWAAA AAA PLLSSSS

THE CITY BEING HAPPY ABOUT HIM I’M

YES

DARN RIGHT

WONDER HOW LONG THAT’LL LAST I’M SORRYGBSF;KMAWEFMAS

SO MANY GRANNIES IN THIS SEASON AND I APPROVE

nice landing mates bG;ALKWEFM

COME ON THEIR SO SILLY AND EPIC I LOVE THEM SM MEI AND MK THE DUO EVER

g

get

pls its so easy

get BRICKEDBGSLKWEMF

GET BRIKED GET IT CAUSE

BRICK

ON HEAD

pls don’t kill me i’m doing my bestbG;LWAMERF;OAWEF

little groUP HUG

THE TIME FOR HUGS IS OVERGHLSKF

OH??

THEIR MANAGER????

THEIR MANAGER?????????

MK WERE U GONNA KILL THOSE SUCEKRS??

HELPGNSLFKMAWEF

IS THAT THEIR MOM OR AUNT OR SOMETHING??

DANG

AWAAA PLS

“i wasn’t ACTUALLY gonna slice and dice em i just thought we looked cool and edgy” actually your honour i adore him and he’s never done anything wrong in his life and he should get all of the hugs and money and everything in the world

MEI MY BELOVED

TAKING SELFIES

PLS

PLS THAT’S SO FUNNYGBSDFLKAWMEF

mans ready for edgy, i’m ready mei i can feel it its my emo goth girl phase

THEY HAVE PILES FOR DIFFERENT THREAT LEVELSGNSLDKFM PLS

;-;

my lad

my lad is so trauma

pls

he’s so traumatized

pls he needs therapy

I love him i’m so concernedbG;LKAWEF

SIR

SIR PLS

SHE’S CONCERENED

JUNK IN TRUNK

.

*looks at my bricked joke*

I

I can’t even judge him i do the same thing plsBGL;AKMEF

am

am i an Mk kinniebG;LKEWF;ONAWEIOFMWE IGNORE THAT MOVING ON WBK PROBABLYGBSL;FKMWAEF

IS HE OKAY?????

SIR????

ARE YOU ALRIGHT????

I DON’T THINK YOU ARE ALRIGHT

PIGSY

HELPGNBSLF;KMAWE

HELP I’M

PLS

PLS I’M GONANGBSADLKFMAW;EOF HEGBKLSFMEMFK WBGBS;LKDFA;WEIMF

WHEEZINGNSFKLMSDF

OH GODS WE’RE HALF DONE I’MBGBSDFLKAEW

PLS IT’S PIGSY

HE’S NOT EVEN PRETENDING TO DILVIER NOODLES ANYMROE

I’M NGONGDSLFAMOI;WEFMAFKH;GOIAWFEJE

STILL USES THE VEHICLE THO

i am

so in love with everything about this show pls

my concern for mk grows ARE YOU OKAY GOING BY YORUSELF?? ISSUES WITH THE MONKEY ?? ARE YOU OKAY?? TRUAMA AT THE MOUNTAIN?>? DEISAGREEMENTS WITH MONKEY KING STILL?? ARE THINGS AWKARD??? I’M SO CURIOUS PLS BGSLKFMAWEF PLS PLSGBSDLKFMWE

PLS DON’T STILL BE MAD AT HIIIMMMMMMMM

HE’S DOING HIS BEST MK PLS I’LL ONLY ACCEPT THIS OUTOCME IF THIS WHOLE SEASON IS JUST EXPLORING MONKEY KINGS TRUAMA ADN THEY ALL GO “OH TAHT’S WHY HE’S LIKE THIS” OKAY OKAY MOVING ON I’M PROBABLY WRONG I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCHGBSDFLKAEW

i have

to pause this

every time

i hear one of their voices

every time

W WONDERFULGBDSFLKAMWE

I

MONKEY

MONKEY

IT HE

ITS HIM

IT IS THE MONKEY EVER

THE ONE AND ONLY

THE ABSOLUTE BEST MONKEY OF ALL TIME

THE MOMST TRUAMA

SIR HAS SO MUCH JUNK PLSBGSL;FM

I

I am so normal you guys I’m so normal about hearing Monkey King Mei Pigsy and Mk’s voices i’m so normal bG;LAWMEF;EWAMF

aALL THE LITTLE MONKEYSNGLKSFE

HELPGNDSLFKMAWEF

NEZHA’S GONNA FLIP WHEN HE HEARS I HAVE THISBGS;LKFMAWEAKGM NOT GONNA RETURN IT? I MEAN FINDERS KEEPERS RIGHT-

OH HE STYLIN

MATE HE STYLIN MONKEY KING IN CAPES BRUH THERE AIN’T NO OTHER

I’M

PLS

PLS

HE’S SO

PLS

ITS THE MONKEY GUYS WHAT ELSE DO I SAY

ITS HIM

WHEN IW AS YOUR AGEBGLD;FMA;WEFOIMAWEF

I’M

PLS

HE’S SO

HE IS

SO

SO

YES

I’M

I’M SO NORMAL I LOVE HIM

SIR SEEMS A BIT DETATCHED STILL OH YEAH SAVING PEOPLE YES THAT IS A THING YOU ALSO DO I REMEMBER PEOPELGBSLF;MAKWEF AND GIVING HIM PRAISE YES, PRAISE THE LAD TELL HIM HOW GOOD HE’S DOING DESERVED PLS I’MGBSDF;LKMAWE

SWINGING YOUR BIG OL TAIL AROUND TO GET WHAT YOU WANTED-

he is

so important to me you guys I have such brainrot over this monkey pls bGLKAMWEFAF

I WAS GOING TO SAY MAKING REGRETABLE LIFE CHOICES BUT BGS;LKFMA;WEFAG;WOAIEMFAWEF

I

y you

kinda already done

more for this world that i ever

;-;

pls

i’m

|;-;/

|;A;/

monk e y

OH MK PLS WDYM

OH

OH WE

WE PLAYING THE BLAME GAME ARE WE

OH THEY’RE BOTH SO TRUAMATIZED AND MENTALLY ILL

THEY BOTH NEED THERAPY SO BAD

MONKEY KING BLAMING YOURSELF FOR IT ISNT’ GONNA HELP MK STOP BLAMING HIMSELF PLS MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND WHAT THEY NEEDED ANYWAY PLS, MK IF YOU HADN’T SHOWN UP THEY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE STAFF STRAIGHT AWAY, LBD CLEARLY ALREADY HAD THE KEY THE MAYOR HAD IT, AND COME ON COME OOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MK PLS YOU GOTTA JUMP THROUGH SOME SERIOUS HOOPS TO SELF BLAME FOR THIS

i mean his teacher’s p good at doing that too it seems but BGLA;KMEF;OAWEF SHAKES THEM BOTH

YOU HECKING MENTALLY ILL MONKEYS

i adore them hanging out they mean everything to me I’m adoring how chill this starts out i feel like i’m about to be hit by a train of some kind bGLK;MAWEF

“come on bud you gotta learn to let that suff go” AND RISK LOOKING LIKE HE’S IRRESPONCIBLE AND DOESN’T CARE AT ALL LIKE YOU??? THIS IS A CHALLANGE SORRY I’M THINKING ABOUT MONKEY KINGS TRUAMA AND HOW BEING ALOOF AND LIKE HE DOESNT’ CARE HSA GOTTA BE THE ONLY WAY HE CAN LIVE WITH ALL THE STUFF THAT HE DID AND THE STUFF THAT WAS DONE TO HIM OKAY I’M NORMAL I’M NORMAL

BELIEVE ME I WASN’T ALWAYS THE EASIESTMKML

WHAT

BUT YOUR’E SO CUTE AND CHEEKY

PLS

PLS

MONKEYGBSDLFK;AW;OEFMAGH;IAOWENBG;OIWAEMF

“i know right??” PLS

PLS SIR

UR HONOUR I WILL NOW ONLY EVER DESCRIBE MONKEY KING AS CUTE AND CHEEKY /J /J /J

THE POINT IS

oh hi

hello

nah tho that’s

actually p decent advice ngl

<— number one rule is “leave it better than you found it” in dealing with everything

STILL GOTTA RECOVER FROM THE MESSUPS THO MONKEY KING

I CAN SEE WHY HE’S BEING LIGHT ABOUT IT-IS THAT THE MONA LISA BGS;JDLAKFMNA;WGB;OIAWEM;AWOEG;OIWEFGGBIO;MEF

MK HAVING TROUBLE

I’M GONNA CRY

IT WON’T

OH

OH

OH THAT FACE

OH NO THAT FACE HE MADE

PLS

MONKEY KING SIR

SUN WUKONG

MAN

OH MAAAAAN

THAT FACE

SERIOUSLY THIS DUDE

MAKES SUCH

SPICIFIC FACES WHEN MK ISN’T LOOKING

WHERE ITS JUST

SO MOURNFUL

AND UNDERSTANDING LIKE FEELS THAT

FLYING BARK YOU ABSOLUTE MAD LADS YOUR EXPRESSIONS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

FOREVERS A LONG TIME BUD

TRUST ME

I AM

MENTALLY UNWELL YOU GUYS

I AM SO VERY MENTALLY UNWELL

man cleaning up together ;-;

WELP

.

THAT’S AWKWARD

FIRST OFF CALLED IT, CALLED IT THAT THEY’D FIND SOMETHIGN WHILE CLEANING HIS PLACE I SO CALLED IT I WAS SO RIGHT

gosh that was some PANIK from mr. the king

OH MAN IT WAS SO CHILL FOR A HOT SECOND

SCREAMSGNSLDKMAWEF

OH I’M

GOTTA BREATH HANG ON I’M NOT CHILL I’M LSOING IT

YOU DID A THING

HIDING BEHIND MONKEY KING PLS

OH BOY

OH BOYYYYYYYYY

SO HANG ON

WHAT IS THISBGSL;DKFMAWE

AAAAA

WAHT IS AGHSJFLKAWEFN;GANLE;AWFKEKMLAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMS

MONKKEY KING SNATCHING HIM GETTING HIM OUT O FTHE WAY AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

OKAY OKAY

SO INK CREATURES

FROM BOOK I WAS RIGHT

SWK WHYAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMINGBNFLAMWEF

AAAAAAA

GOING THROUGH

WHAT

HOLY

WHAT THE CRAP IS

HAPPEN

OH MY GODS

OH MUY GODS WHAS I WRIGBSDLGN;WAELNMWAKEMRFWEMAIEWMGAAA

AAAAAAA

THING ABOTU IT BEING A BOKGHNSG

I’M NOT NORMAL I’M LOSING IT GUYS

ITS

ITS A BOOK OF TRUAMA I SWEAR

LISTEN TO THAT I’M LSOING IT

EVERYBODY YELLING AT HIM LBD LAUGHING WUKONG IS FROZEN ITS THE SAME CLIP FROM WHEN MEI WAS YELLING AT HIM TRUAMA MONKE TRUAMA MONKEY OH OH THIS SEASON IS GOING TO KILL ME I’M GOINT TO DIE I’M GOING TO PERSIH THISBGSLKMA;GH;OIWFMAWEOIFHA;AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

TRIPITAKA VOICE SHUT THE FREKAKNDFKLWE UPPPPPP NOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMS THE BABY MONKEYS NOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MK READY TO FIGHT

NOOOOO

THE

NOOOOOOOO

BBY MONKEYS

OH MAN

first of

bird guy

fire looking

that animation ??

that composition?? hot dang buddy flying bark is off the rails

secondly

SCREAMS

ITS LITERALLY A BOOK OF SWK’S WORST MOMENTS IT LOOKS LIKE, WAS I RGHT WAS I RIGHT WAS I RIGHT THERE’S NO WAY THERE’S NO WAY IW ASBGNLSAFKMAW HE’S GONNA GET PULLED IN ISN’T HE

MONKEY KINGS GONNA GET PULLED IN I SWEAR IF HE GETS PULLED IN

I’M LSOING IT I’M LOSING IT SCREAMING

SWK VS HIS TURAMA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TEY

I’M

HOLY CRAP

HOLY WAHT THE FBGDFNKSMA;AWOEGB;OAIWEFMKMSDFKMSDF

HE GOT FREAKINGB

I’LL FIGURE OUT AND ITS CRYING

HE’S CRYINGLKFDMSF

I AM NEVER OKAY EVER A DAY IN MY LIFE I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGH AND HE SEALED THEM IN HE SEALED HIM

OH MY FREAKINGN TRUAMA

FREE TRUAMA

FREE TRUAMA FOR EVERYBODY

.

.

.

.

inhales

I am mentally unwell

fake composed

hello good evening

I WAS FREAKING RIGHT ABOUT THE SCROLL I’M GOING TO FREAKING IMPLODE RIGHT THS SECONDHGNLKSAMDF AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMSING

FLIPPING TABLES

RUNNING AROUND

THROWING CHAIRS

RUNNING OUTSIDE

THROWING MYSELF IN THE SNOW

LOSING IT

I AM LOSING IT

I AM SBGLS;KMSBG;OWAIEMNGABGA;OWEIFNA;OEWIBHG;OAIWG;B;OUINFAOIWEBGUIONMG;OIAWEMF;AWGO;IUFN;OIDRQWEJOIJG;OAIERWJF;BG;OWAEIJFOIJEF;LMF;OERGH;OLFMAO;WEIJF;OERGJ;OERHGOA;WEIMFOWGHEWAIOMFERWOGHWAEFJOEWAIMFORIJAG;WOIR

okay so that was

sure something

that was

SURE SOMETHING

THAT SURE WAS SOMETHING HUH

THAT SURE WAS

SOMETHING

WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THAT

HEKCING

SCREAMS

SWK JUST

THAT WAS A GOODBYE

THAT WAS HIMSAYING GOODBYE

SIR REALLY WENT

WELP

THINGS CAN’T LAST

NICE KNOWING YOU

STUFF ALWAYS CATCHES UP

DO WHAT YOU GOTTA BYEEE

FR THIS DUDE

READY TO DIE

READY TO SEAL HIMSELF INSIDE

WAHT LOOKS LIKE HIS NIGHTMARES AND ALL HIS WORST MISTAKES FOREVER HUH

FR HUH HIM AND HIS MONKEYS JUST GONE

AND THERE ENDS THE LEGEND OF THE MONKEY KING SUN WUKONG GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN

FREAKNBGBGBSLKF;MAWEO;IFAGB;OIAWEFM;WOIAN;SAFMLSKDFDSF

AND I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MORRREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Y’all mk is so freaking traumatized the Lad needs therapy asap he just got out of a traumatizing experience and he just watched his mentor get engulfed in freaky ink and THAT

THAT

“some monsters can never change”

���you make a couple of mistakes in your life and no one ever lets you live it down”

“you’ve done more for this world that i ever have”

YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME

HIS FACE

WHEN THAT INK STUFF IS GETTING HIM

HIS FACE THE WHOLE TIME

SO IN THE THEME SONG

HE IS FIGHTING MONKEY KING

HE IS SO IN THE THEME SONG

SO

YOUUUUU

YOU HEKCING

MONKIE CREW DIRECTIORS PEOPEL I LOVE YOU I WANT TO THROW HANDS I’M SCREAMIGNFBGFNAKWEFMAGN;OAIWEMF

THAT

oh yeah so

this season is

probably going to destroy me more than 3 did. 4 is probably going to be my favourite i’m calling it now, we’re dealing with monkey kings past trauma and depending on how its handled this will easily become my favourite welp here we go i’m ready to die bring it the heck on perishment here i come

ahem yes uh

thank you for coming to knox reacts today… uh we will be back with… more reactions when I get… more eps… in english i

i

all that dialogue that came out of the ink guys come on

THE MACAQUE SCREAM?????????????

THE LOOK ON WUKONGS FACE???

THE LBD LAUGH????????????

I AM

HOLY CRAPGBSESHGBWABG;WA4IEUONAEWFM

“Monkey! No violence.”

“NO!”

I’M SCREAMING

THE STREAK OF INK ON MK’S HAND FROM REACHING FOR THE MONKEYS

excuse me i need to go scream into a pillow nice having you here godspeed if you read all the way you’re as insane as i am i’m gonna go perish now or i’ll be keysmashing here all day have a good one SCREAMSBGS;LMAW;OGBWAEF

we get to see mk still having truama and trouble from the previous season you guys MONKEY KING’S PAST POPPING UP IN A MORE EMOTIONAL WAY AND YOU CAN SEE IT DANCING ON HIM PUSING HIM INTO THE GROUND MY GOOD SIR THIS IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WHAT I

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

hi, so, there's this headcanon I've had about Gungi for a little while and seeing him in the bad batch trailer prompted me to share it :)

(btw go watch the trailer, it's SO good)

So, do we all remember that arc in tcw where Ahsoka gets captured by the Trandoshians? If not, quick recap. Basically, they capture her during a mission and drop her on this island to hunt her for sport. She meets former Jedi younglings there and they try to escape together. One of their plans is ambushing the drop ship when it comes in to bring more prey. They fail, but the prisoner on the ships just so happens to be a Wookie (Chewbacca, actually, if I remember correctly). Now that's all good and well, but you know what surprised me? Ahsoka spoke Wookie.

I mean I get that Jedi learn different languages in order to understand different species and people around the galaxy but Wookie seems awfully specific for me. We never really see her on a mission on Kashyyyk (unlike Obi-Wan who spoke the Twi'leks language and is regularly seen with Orn Free Ta and on a mission on Ryloth) or interacting with any other Wookies. Except for Gungi.

We see them interacting in the Kyber Crystal arc and it got me thinking.

Supposedly Ahsoka is nearing the end of her Padawan Training and expects to soon become a Knight. Which makes sense if you think about it. When she first became a Padawan Anakin thought she was too young, but Yoda disagreed. Despite her age she was ready to be a Padawan on a skill-based level. Throughout the show we see people saying how she's more skilled than her peers. An early knighthood is just as plausible as her early padawan training. Take the Wrong Jedi arc. by the end (at the age of 17) she was offered knighthood. she turned it down, but that's not my point

Long story short? My headcanon is that Ahsoka was scouting Gungi, hoping to make him her student when she becomes a knight and he a padawan. And I would have LOVED to see it.

Just think about it!

Ahsoka seeing this skilled youngling and immediately learning to speak Wookie so she can give him proper training.

Her watching him extra carefully during his Kyber Crystal Trial (or whatever its called)

eventually it's time for her knighthood and for Gungi to be assigned a Master and she just nags and nags and nags Obi-Wan about bringing it up in a council meeting till he finally concedes but you can't just become a knight and then immediately get a padawan ahsoka

but anakin did, Master, why am I any different? he trained me!

*sigh* I am aware, knight tano

anyway eventually they become master and padawan and suddenly Gungi has ETERNAL bragging rights, because his master is Ahsoka Tano, former student of Anakin Skywalker, part of Yodas goddamn disaster lineage

eventually he grows taller than her, but it takes a while because her montrals also still keep growing so it doesn't count, my young, inexperienced padawan and everytime Ahsoka has to interrogate a perp she is good cop and just talks all nice and calmly to them until they eventually do something incredibly disrespectful, so she calls her student for help in handling this perp. They fully expect a small togruta child to show up and suddenly this massive Wookie is just absolutely TOWERING over them

First time Mission with the rest of disaster lineage + Rex goes absolutely south and there is an endless amount of arguing, meanwhile Rex and Gungi stand off to the side like yeah its always like this kid

Rex thinks there's finally a second reasonable person there but PLOT TWIST, Gungi lives for the drama and is spilling tea with Obi-Wan in 2 days time (he also began learning Wookie as soon as Ahsoka started nagging him)

Even Rex learned the language, but SOMEHOW Anakin just,,, didn't get the memo and never learned it so everytime they're in a room together it's just,,, uh... u good bro

*responds in Wookie, telling him he's having a rough week*

nice to hear trainings going well, pal, keep it up

*stares into the camera like he's on the office*

and somehow they kill palpatine, destroy all the chips and are a disaster family till death doth them part

the end

[giggly-squiggily]

Lee!kyo and ler!tohru from fruits basket if its alright with you?

It's more than alright with me! As of the time of writing this, I've just finished watching Fruits Basket Prelude and I'm in such a mood for it! :D I've gotcha covered anon!

Cloud 9 (Taglist):

@baby-tickles2022, @cupcake-spice13

“Teach me!”

“Absolutely not.” Kyo replied automatically, shaping the rice balls one by one. “You’ll only end up getting hurt.”

Tohru mock pouted beside him, her own rice ball taking shape as they worked side by side, preparing lunch. “I won’t if it’s you teaching me though. You’re such a good instructor, Kyo! If I am to ever learn how to defend myself, I’d prefer someone like you to do it.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Kyo gruffed, even as a blush climbed his neck. “Besides- I’ve already taught you how to defend yourself. You still have your keychain?” The keychain was a small collection of self defense items; pepper spray, a stabby thing Kyo couldn’t remember the name of, a whistle with a pitch so high the one time Tohru blew it for practice Yuki accidently sent the milk flying (That was a funny day, he couldn’t deny) along with other things.

“Always.” Tohru nodded, easing his worry. “Still- I want to learn at least one martial arts trick- something I can use as a last ditch effort.”

“What’s this really about, Tohru?” Kyo turned to her properly with a raised brow. “You’ve never been that interested in learning before; why the sudden request?”

He expected her to argue with him, claiming that she was definitely interested. Instead she blushed, looking at her hands with the cutest shy smile he’d seen ever. 

“Well…me and Kisa were watching this new anime and…”

“Knew it.” Kyo sighed, earning a light swat from her hand towel. “You two and your anime shows.”

“Hush! It was a good move too! The main character was like- whoop and swish! The main bad guy went- zoom! It was really cool!” She was so animated, her hands in fists as she remembered the show. Kyo had to fight down the laughs as she looked up at him with sparkling eyes. “I know I can’t do anything like that, but just having the ability to do something similar…that would be amazing! So could you teach me, Kyo? Please?”

He really should say no, stand by his original answer. This could only end in disaster. Yet looking into those big brown eyes, he felt any resistance melt away.

“Alright.” He gave in, smiling when she whooped, hugging him in glee. “But just so you know- I’m not gonna go easy on you.”

That was a lie and they both knew it.

~~~

“I’m ready! What are we learning first, Kyo?” Tohru asked, eyes bright with excitement. They decided to keep things casual- wearing simple clothes over Gi. It was more a necessity than choice- the legs and sleeves were far too long for his wife, tripping her.

“The first thing we’re doing is a test.” Kyo nodded, standing tall before his ‘student.’ “I need to see where you’re at before I show you a move. The goal is to take me down. Are you ready?”

Tohru nodded, eyes bright. “Ready as I’ll ever be!”

“Right. Show me what you can do. Ready? Go!” Kyo nodded, standing firm. His wife let out a battle cry before running up to him, taking a swing-

And missing entirely. Kyo didn’t even need to step out of the way.

“I completely missed!” She yelped.

“So I saw.” He nodded, fighting down a grin. “Come on, don’t give up now.”

Tohru nodded, trying again. Another battle cry, another run and swing, another miss. This time Kyo had to step aside. “You’re closer. Come on- don’t hold back on me, Honda!”

“Oh, you’re gonna get it now!” She nodded, shaking off the miss. Instead of charging forward this time, she watched him, considering. Then she smiled, getting ready to strike once more. “Here I come!” She cried as she ran forward.

“Announcing your move isn’t gonna help in the long run.” He sidestepped, evading her attack. “You gotta be more subtle- whoa!”

Arms came around his neck from behind as Tohru jumped on his back, wrapping her legs around his torso. “Gotcha!” She cheered through her giggles, pride in her voice.

“Heh, sure did.” Kyo couldn’t hold back the grin as he hoisted her legs, supporting her. “Now, what are you going to do-ahehehe! Heehhehy, hahahahng on!” His voice broke into laughter when her fingers found his sides, wiggling gently. “Thihhiihs isn’t part of the trahhahaining!”

“Sure it is! The goal is to take you down, right?” She giggled against his neck, hanging on when he tried to gently pry her off. “This seems to be working quite well!”

“Ahehhehhee! Yohohoohohu snehehahahahak! This is chehahahhahahating!” Kyo jerked when her fingers wormed into his armpits, nearly taking a fall as new waves of ticklishness spread along his nerves. Shaking her off did nothing, and trying to squeeze her hands out was only in vain. He could only shuffle run about, unable to stay still. “Tohohohoohoohruhuhuhuhuhu!”

“Hehe, you’re so cute, Kyo!” She leaned in and pressed a kiss against his cheek before her hands shot down to his belly, making him squeak. “Take that!”

“AHHH AHEHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!” Kyo collapsed to his knees, all fight drained from him as his worst spot was tickled. “NOOHOHOHOHOHO! TOOHOHOOHOHRUUHUHUHU PLEHHAHHAHAHAHSE!”

“Please what?” She teased, climbing off his back but staying close as her fingers scribbled along his belly. “Please keep tickling you?”

“YOHOOHOHOHU KNOHOOHOHW WHAHAHAT I MEHAHHAHHAN!”

“Hm…” She hummed in thought.

“TOHOOHOHOHORU!”

“Hehe, okay okay.” She giggled, finally pulling back her hands and watching Kyo collapse, gasping for air. “Did I pass?”

“Eheh…hehehe…hehe…” Kyo groaned, giving her a halfhearted glare that dissolved into a weary smile upon seeing her face. “Fine, fine…you pass.”

“Yay!” Tohru cheered, doing a little happy dance while clapping. Kyo chuckled at the sight, his heart filling with love for her all over. “I knew I could do it!”

“Sure, but see…there’s one thing you forgot about, Tohru.” Kyo leaned up watching her expression grow curious. “When you take someone down, you better be ready to run!” Without any warning, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing his wife into his chest as he ran his fingers up and down her ribs, earning a variety of adorable squeaks and squeals.

“AH! Ahehahahahhahhahaha! Khehehehehehyohohohohohou!”

“This is still part of training! Now you know how to take someone down.” Kyo grinned, relishing in her pretty laughter. “Show me what you’re gonna do when the tickle monster takes you hostage!”

I hope this was good!

[propertyoftoru]

Tag game: Get to know me!

Thank you @abiaswreck for the tag! :] 🖤

1. Birthday?

8/11 (me and binnie are birthday twins)

2. Favorite color?

I'll say black but i dont really have a favorite!

3. How tall are you?

5’5 (and 3/4 thank you very much)

4. How many pair of shoes to you own?

somewhere around 14 idk i gave up on counting

5. Favorite song?

for skz probably ssick or easy but not skz probably ohio is for lovers by hawthorne heights

6. Favorite movie?

oh probably either the scream movies or unironically the twilight movies (theyre my childhood comfort movies)

7. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone who makes me laugh and takes the time to understand me.

8. Do you want children?

I've said no for a really long time but i think if i met the right person and the circumstances were ideal then maybe.

9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Not really other than a few times of being a stupid teenager nothing serious though. Watching my parents screw up a lot when i was young probably had a lot to do with that.

10. What color socks are you wearing?

oh god i hate socks so much. i only wear them when i have to and not a second longer.

11. Favorite type of music?

this is such a cliché but i really do listen to everything. edm, pop, pop punk, metal, sad songs, happy songs, hell on occasion even a tiny bit of country (only carrie underwood lets not get carried away)

12. How many pillows do you sleep with?

2! One horizontal and one vertical. Kinda like a half body pillow i guess? idk i have to be hugging something to fall asleep.

13. What position do you sleep in?

im a diagnosed insomniac so really whatever position my body finally passes out in... there's a lot of tossing and turning most nights.

14. What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

Bright lights (a tv or any sort of light on an appliance) or dead silence i need a fan or rain or SOMETHING.

15. Have you tried archery?

Yeah actually my grandfather used to take me hunting when i was younger. I never actually killed anything but i got pretty good at hitting cans and targets :]

16. Favorite fruit?

ohhhhh either strawberries or blackberries or pineapple... idk i love fruit so much.

17. Are you a good liar?

I can be when I have to be. I hate lying though it always brings drama and negative energy.

18. What’s your personality type?

INFP-T

19. Innie or outie?

Innie

20. Left or right handed?

Both! but I mostly use my right!

21. Favorite food?

Pineapple pizza (fight me Christopher Bang)

22. Favorite foreign food?

Oh my grandmother makes Jag on special occasions and its one of my favorites. Other than that as of recently ive been eating japchae so much i literally have a craving for it like every other day.

23. Are you clean or messy?

sigh. my room? depression disaster area. Everything else in my life? Severe OCD neat freak (im talking labels, sorted by color and size, the whole nine yards)

24. Most used phrase?

buh. it really has no meaning its just a sound i make about 200 times a day. i also swear like a sailor so if not buh then probably cunt or fuck.

25. How long does it take you to get ready?

Depends on where im going and whos gonna be there. anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes.

26. Do you talk to yourself?

Of course, im the funniest and smartest person i know. (on a real note my hyperactive imagination goes crazy so i spend most days rambling to myself about nonsense.)

27. Do you sing to yourself?

All day everyday like im in a fucking musical or something.

28. Are you a good singer?

Eh. ive been told i am but i think i could be decent if i took lessons.

29. Biggest fear?

Sharks/The ocean (its more a fear of the unknown because what the fuck even lives down there)

30. Are you a gossip?

Absolutely not. I learned my lesson in middle/high school that shit brings nothing but bad vibes and negative energy.

31. Long or short hair?

I wish i could say short because my hair drives me crazy most days but i also hate how i look with short hair so long i suppose.

32. Favorite school subject?

English or Criminal Justice/Forensics

33. Extrovert or introvert?

introvert but situational extrovert (ill be extroverted if theres someone more introverted than me solely because i cannot stand awkward tension) not quite an ambivert but somewhere close to one.

34. What make you nervous?

Groups of super outgoing people. I always get too afraid to talk in fear of ruining the flow of conversation or being talked over.

35. Who was your first crush?

idk probably justin bieber or nick jonas

36. How many piercings do you have?

4. Both of my ears and both of my nipples. i want to get my bellybutton done soon though.

37. How many tattoos do you have?

9 but im hoping to work on my leg sleeve again soon.

38. How fast can you run?

Depends on whos chasing me.

39. What color is your hair?

Brown right now. It was half black half blonde but i wanted to focus on getting my hair healthy for a while.

40. What color are your eyes?

Blue/Green/Gray depends on who you ask and the lighting in the room.

41. What makes you angry?

Not much im a pretty calm person but when im playing video games thats a different story.

42. Do you like your name?

No. My father chose it and i dont speak to him.

43. Do you want a boy to girl as a child?

IF i had a kid i would want a boy 100%. As someone whos mother had 3 babies when i was 16/17/18 i can confidently say little girls are the spawns of the devil and little boys are rays of sunshine.

44. What are your strengths?

Mental fortitude and my empathy for others.

45. What are your weaknesses?

I give second (and third and fourth) chances to people that do not deserve it.

46. What’s the color of your bedspread?

Light gray but i keep lots and lots of blankets around too.

47. What’s the color of your room?

Gray and dark blue.

Tagging for fun! Ignore if you don’t want it do it! Or ignore if you don’t feel comfortable!: @bbyquokka @lino-ppang @alphadisaster @aspenwritesstuff +anyone that wants to do this.

[devircy]

New Habits and Coffee KidLaw

Request: Softest rendition physically possible of Kidd attempting to make coffee for Law in the morning. He knows that Law needs it and sneakily wakes up earlier just to make it, but it's an absolute disaster. Like the worst coffee known to man, and from there I want to know how you'd make Law react. But it has to be the fluffiest thing ever by the end. 

1.3k Words

Law was a continual creature of habit, the surest way to piss him off was to mess it up. Anyone who worked with Law much less knew him understood this. No surprises, no changes, no irregularities. So an explanation as to why something in his perfected schedule had changed could probably be summed up with some neurotransmitter misfiring not that its cause really mattered to Law. 

Sleep cleared from his vision as a cup was thrust before him, it took a second for his eyes to adjust. The aroma was twinged traces of coffee and burnt beans. His mouth opened and closed no less than three times, expression shifting each time he did. A roll of his neck released the joints in a blissful crack as Law chose his next words carefully.

“Eustass-ya?” Sleep gripped his voice still, forcing the name to sound as if a lover's whisper.

“I know you don’t like shifts in your routine,” The somehow perky redhead began still holding the mystery liquid between his painted nails.  Law's brow shot up as if to say ‘then why did you do it?’.  “However you always leave the house at 4 am in a rush to the hospital, I thought for once I could help.”

“Help,” Law mumbled to himself as if the word was foreign, letting it roll around in his mouth. His hands dragged down his face rubbing at his eyes with a sigh. If he was going to sanely approach the situation he needed coffee, or whatever substance close to coffee was in that cup. His hands lifted from the mattress to remove the mug from Eustass’s grasp. Neither of them said anything as Law brought the cup to his lips.  Eustass did his best to pretend he was looking anywhere but at Law and the sip he would be taking. Not that Law was fooled. His lips parted and the dark liquid rushed past. If the past 15 years of being a doctor had taught him anything it was how to keep his face perfectly schooled into indifference.

“Eustass-ya will you grab me my glasses,” The words came out in a neutral tone a contrast to the rancid flavor coating every crevice of his mouth. Law added a squint for good measure even though his eyesight was not that bad. It really was not. He could see every flex of the redhead's abdomen, one that Michelangelo would seek to discover in his stones. The flash of red hair that trailed below into the low-hanging grey sweatpants, the ones that hid nothing from view. “ Since you desire to help.”

“Yeah, where are they?” There it was that grin, the one that forced Law to avert his gaze. Eustass was shameless and immensely enjoyed when Law sidetracked himself with one glimpse at his figure.

“Should be on the desk in my office downstairs.” The “coffee” caught in his throat again as he attempted to swallow it until Eustass was out of his sight. A mission to retrieve the glasses that sat on the nightstand beside him currently. Sliding from under the sheets Law beelined for their bathroom, careful to mimic the sound of piss with his pouring of the drink into the toilet. Prior to Eustass’s return with the claim that he could not find them, Law was already dressed in his scrubs and ready to vanish through the door.

The cup was there again in his face the next morning. He would admit he enjoyed waking up to his lovers voice coaxing him out of his dreams over the scream of his usual alarms. The cup however was not a welcome site.

 “Eustass-ya I think I can make my own coffee,” Law spoke his words sounding nothing more than a tired slur before he even sat up.

“Just try it,” There was an almost desperation to his words as the mattress dipped next to him. A warm body situated itself near his hips and the cup, of course, remained. “Please?” 

“Yeah hand it here,” Please, what an infernal word. A word Eustass scarcely used unless something was deemed worthy enough. Law's eyes fixed themselves on the cup again. The aroma was already daring him to take a sip. It was earthy yet spicy, not one of the usual blends Law had for the machine. Eustass did not hide his attentions this time instead he watched as Laws's eyes drifted closed simply breathing in the scent. As if eager his tongue darted out swiping at his lips jealous of the attention going only to his sense of smell. He brought it to his lips and sighed with the flavor that washed over his tongue. This. This was something he could get used to.

“What changed?” Law asked in between downing the rest of the mug.

“Sanji gave me a pointer or two.” What Eustass failed to mention was he had bought a new coffee machine, beans, mugs, filters, and anything else that a proper barista would have. Not that he would call himself that.

“Would you make it for me again tomorrow?” There was an uncertainty in Law’s voice as he spoke, monitoring Eustass’s reaction. All he saw was joy as the redhead removed the cup from Law’s hands and captured his lips with his own. 

“I will make it for you every day if you would like.” Each word was spoken between kisses in a shared breath. 

“I would,” Was Law's only answer, and Eustass had never been so thankful. “This too.”

Recapturing his coffee-stained lips was his answer and Law hummed his approval. Law was running late per his schedule but this time he was certain he had perfected it.

Short dialogue between Sanji and Eustass:

“Sanji please, I'll pay for lessons or whatever just teach me how to make coffee.” The redhead had practically stormed into the French chef's kitchen unwilling to wait for him outside. Urgency filling his voice entertained Sanji to a certain degree, though he almost didn’t believe this was Law's lover.

“I never thought I would see the day.” Groveling and bargaining someone had taught him well. Smoke fell lazily from his lips prior to the words that followed. “But yes I can teach you. What do you have to make it.”

“I don’t know some machine.” Eustass could not lie he had no clue, he had pressed buttons and it ‘worked’. 

“You are in luck since I am off for the afternoon.” The kitchen was left behind as  Sanji drove, wind danced through the windows as he let his free arm rest outside of the car. “Why the sudden interest in coffee making? New job or something?”

“No, I attempted to change something in Law’s schedule.” Even Sanji cringed as the words left the redhead's mouth. 

“I assume it ended badly?” His eyes stayed glued to the road as if he could remove the attention on Eustass, a tactic he learned usually made people open up more. 

“If by bad you mean he made me go look for his glasses which were on his nightstand so he could pretend to drink it and pour it down the toilet.” Defeat coated the words as if unredeemable.

“You are lucky.” Blue eyes shifted catching the orange irises for the briefest of seconds. 

“What do you mean?” Confusion was evident in his question as Sanji observed him again.

“Law never withdrawals his opinions. I assume he didn’t even make a comment about the coffee before he left. And he took the change in schedule pretty well. For all the years since middle school that Law and I have been friends he has never once let any of this slide, for any reason.” The rest of the day Eustass listened, and attempted, bought, and wrote down whatever Sanji instructed of him. He would not fail again.

[gnomebud]

eulie can i ask you to pitch trigun to me. i know nothing about it other than 1. blonde guy with cool red jacket. 2. bigolas dickolas? it sounds interesting and i see it everywhere- what do you like about it? is it a movie? tv show? help

[cracks knuckles] hi emma i'm finally done with finals and moving out and am home and ready to answer this. okay so

elevator trigun pitches:

the most pathetic guy you've ever seen goes through the horrors in a big desert. there's big worms and cowboys and cosmic body horror and guns

two insurance agents/reporters are having the weirdest job assignment of their life following around a walking natural disaster

aforementioned insurance agents:

wow! can one man really have allegories for this many people from the bible? you bet!

gay people on a couch

the transmascs stay winning fancam

knives? like, millions? (-- @whale-blanket)

the kindest guy you've ever seen is so determined to be kind even when everyone else wants him not to be

ok. actual reply. blond guy with cool red jacket is vash the stampede, the main character of trigun! he is a very good guy who is committed to pacifism and is constantly going through the horrors because of um. an evil twin brother (it’s complicated). he's joined by two insurance girls who are trying to keep him from doing more damage than he normally accidentally causes (or, in trigun stampede, two reporters) and a totally normal priest with a totally normal cross.

trigun is a manga (also referred to as trigun maximum bc most of the volumes are published under that title) that has been adapted into two anime: the first is the '98 trigun that aired before most of the manga was released and the second is trigun stampede, which is probably largely what you have seen me posting and which had its first season air this year! i mostly really care about trigun stampede and trigun maximum!

bigolas dickolas refers to nicholas d wolfwood who is one of the characters of all time. i'm normal about him. he's a totally normal priest/undertaker with a totally normal cross. he doesn't have secrets at all. don't worry about it. it also refers to twitter user maskofbun's tweet about this is how you lose the time war that managed to skyrocket the novel to best-selling again by sheer virtue of their audience of trigun enjoyers buying it

i got into trigun stampede as it was airing and got to watch new episodes with friends, which was really really fun, and i think it's a great introduction to the whole canon! stampede rearranges a lot of stuff from trigun maximum but does so in a really fun way. it's a little confusing at first but a really fun time! and the music is incredible! i was literally motivated to watch the first ep by the transmascs stay winning fancam -- took one look at that guy and was like i need to know everything about him. vash is possibly the blorbo of all time. once stampede s1 ended i read all of trigun & trigun maximum (trigun overhaul on tumblr is the place to do that if you're interested!) and absolutely fell in love with the whole thing even more. trigun has really interesting stuff about violence, humanity, family, love, what it means to be a monster, etc. that made me love it SO much. and the art is so so so cool! even if fight scenes are kind of incomprehensible. every character in trigun is so interesting and the whole story is so cool and makes me SO sad and contemplative. it's been the only thing in my brain for nearly 6 months. trigun...

in short: watch trigun stampede ! extremely good animation, cool intro to trigun, great music, and there is a guy with millions of knives. it's a space western! it's scifi! it's weird! you get to be endlessly sad about some guys! yay!

[iwilltransyourgender]

Rant time.

Okay, look, we all know Viva Las Vengeance is a whole…. something that isn’t quite Panic! At The Disco, nor is it anything particularly amazing either because Brendon can’t write for shit, but I think one aspect in which we can cut it some slack is the beautiful musical disaster that is:

Sad Clown

What could possibly be the saving grace for this astronomical fuckup of a song?

Well, you’re absolutely right in that it is an underwhelming absolute lack of an orgasm after chafing your genitals for a fucking hour, but dear god, in a way, doesn’t that make SENSE? Look, we know Brendon Urine didn’t do it on purpose at all cuz, you know, he’s a dumb cunt and not a 5’1 autistic man hoarding literature degrees like a useless dragon hoards gloves for hands it doesn’t have. But if he HAD done it on purpose, Sad Clown could have been recognised as a satisfyingly UNsatisfying metaphor for, well, unsatisfying…ness.

Consider:

"I pop a pill to feel euphoria. Five minutes, ten minutes, to a half an hour, But not the rest of my life."

And

"Even though I'm smiling, I'm crying. I'm sick and tired of trying, I'm dying. Is this all there is?"

In a badly done, even babygirlification somewhat, of the Hey Ya theme of sad lyrics on a preppy dance tune (and look, I never said the lyrics were good), we can extrapolate the story being told here; ex-lovers, one, Maggie presumably, has moved on quite happily whereas our protagonist has not, though he puts on a front of happiness and copes with drugs, and while the drugs may give him a temporary relief, he knows that he cannot rely on this permanently.

How does this make a shit song a good song?

In an overly analysed close-reading of the music, which I am absolutely qualified to do because I took music theory class for one year in highschool and I'm a man on the internet, I can conclude that this song just doesn't have a chorus? Sure, Urine tried, but if you actually ignore the urge to do a dancey dance and listen for like two secs, you'll realise that the "chorus" is just a whole lotta buildup with no payoff. Bridges, no chorus. Chafing, no orgasm, whatever fucking analogy you wanna roll with. We literally get like three bridges in a row:

"Five minutes, ten minutes, to a half an hour For the rest of my life."

I call this the pre-bridge. It's different to the verse, and we get a sense of "change is coming" in the dropping of the notes towards the end of the bar, and even the general softer, more emotive tone in Urine's voice in "For the rest of my life," however this isn't yet a bridge in the same way most of us would recognise one.

"Leave me alone (a paliacciao triste) Leave me alone (he not so molto bene)."

Bridge 1: Huge musical buildup in the drum, the dropout of other instruments (again, a common indication of "get ready, it's coming!") and the inclusion of the backup singers singing the goofiest fucking shit I've ever read in my life.

"Your majesty's magnificent. My tragedy is imminent. Even though I'm smiling, I'm crying, I shall win."

Bridge 2: Oh, another bridge? I mean, it COULD have been a chorus, but its that last line where we get basically exactly the same musicality of the first bridge, but louder, and man I'm on the edge of my seat. I'm waiting for the climax, I'm rearing to fucking GO.

guitar riff

Oh.

That was it?

That was...

Well, I didn't come that's for sure.

Where the fuck is the chorus, Urine? Because I sure as shit didn't hear one! I feel like I'm back four years in time with my ex who had the weakest dick game I've ever seen in someone without erectile dysfuction.

And then that ending too. He screeches that last note (and this is the only comment I'll make on Urine's actual singing capabilities because that's a whole other rant for another day) and then everything just... dies. And not even in a satisfactory way. No fade out, no sharp sudden stop; it gives the vibe of the orchestra awkwardly realising the conductor's stopped and is glaring at the trombones.

It is unsatisfying

BUT IT FUCKING WORKS.

AND I'M SO MAD THAT IT WORKS.

Literally an entire song about dissatisfaction, faking pleasure/happiness, relying on temporary highs that ultimately never amount to anything, AND IT IS MOST UN-FUCKING-SATISFYING SHIT I'VE EVER LISTENED TO.

WHY

[pigeonfancier]

Finally, we've hit the hopeful-finish line, so I feel fine discussing it without side-eyeing the possibility of ~*jinxing it*~. Is jinxing real? No. Does that knowledge help the gut-level proclivity towards magical thinking? Absolutely not, haha.

My mother got covid towards the end of September, which was very baffling - she was the only one in the household who got it, and I'm usually with her when she's fucking around town for aneurysm/CKD reasons. Thankfully, her illness has not been severe, and it hopefully will not leave any long-term consequences, knocking on fucking wood.

But it has been a very stressful two weeks or so, because both she and my father have a certain proclivity towards being huge plague rats, as well as just general health disasters. Air circulation in the house? Well, there's one fan, isn't that enough? Wearing masks inside of the house? Oh, that's uncomfortable. Washing your hands regularly and staying in your particular corner of the house? Well, it can't be that infectious, right?

Quit smoking when she's got what is ultimately a respiratory virus? No, actually, it's time to get back to chainsmoking.

But we've clawed through it! I cannot imagine there is any way that my father and I avoided getting at least a low viral load, but we never tested positive and we never showed any symptoms, so I am going to be content with that. What is low viral load save a free booster, really?

I was a little distressed at the start of all of this, because my immune system loses its mind over vaccinations, never mind the actual virus. Not interested in seeing what it does with that! But I suppose there is one benefit to my immune system regularly hitting me with a bat, haha, anddd that is that it is always ready to beat the shit out of anything else as well.