#its just that i never hold grudges

[totebagbisexual]

my toxic trait is if ur mad at me i’ll do my best to be understanding and recognize where i was wrong and apologize but if ur still mad at me after that i will go fucking crazy

[cometblaster2070]

let us once again bring up the absolute RIDICULOUS man that is milton fucking grimm

im sorry im aware it's been 10 years and this is just a show to sell dolls, BUT THIS MAN'S BACKSTORY HAS ME ON THE FLOOR

OH NO MY BROTHER GOT INTO TROUBLE BECAUSE OF ME BECAUSE I DIDN'T LISTEN TO OUR DAD :((((

GUESS THE ONLY THING TO DO IS NOW TRAUMATIZE 15 YEAR OLDS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!

AND SPEAKING OF THAT BROTHER LET ME JUST CURSE HIM AND TOSS HIM INTO THE BASEMENT WHEN HE GOES 'hey milton this entire thing's kind of fucked up tbh'

this stupid fucking man i mean

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on wait im unable to Scribble rn but i had this Lights Out interaction in my head and i need to put it somewhere before i forget. Okay so the scene is Howdy, Poppy, Frank, and Wally are all having quiet time in the post office. just vibing.

Howdy: i'm going to say something harsh

Poppy: that's alright. we understand <3

Frank: go ahead, it's better than bottling it up

Howdy:

Howdy, near tears: you're all so boring i think it's actually killing me

Poppy / Frank / Wally: ...

[dailykugisaki]

Day 158 | id in alt

The hater streak returns, your honor.

[tumblingxelian]

Chrysididae 

The Birth of the Hero Chrysididae!

A student film premiers, a lost heiress in enraged at the perceived betrayal of her sponsor, classmates, family and even oldest friend.

Why she wonders, why do these things keep happening to me?

It is a question she had wondered before but only rarely, too often it was too easy to find some enemy to blame, or her own lack of exceptional talent.

But on this day, when she reflects on Gabriel Agreste's souless stare from the tablet, something clicks.

He did this on purpose.

Like one domino hitting another, it sets off a chain of memories and with them a realization.

On what was to be Adrien's first day of school, the first Akuma appears, despite the fact that surely other teenagers were embarrassed or angered.

This should have scared Adrien and compelled him to stay home, but no.

So it is again with Stoneheart, but somehow, for some reason he chooses Chloe as a victim despite nearly every member of class being terrified and enraged, despite his intent to be to confess his love to Mylene.

He still takes the time to kidnap Chloe, who was the instigator of Adrien's rebellion.

This would be her first near death, but not the last.

Lady Wifi would come next, suitably aggrieved perhaps but to what purpose? Hawk Moth of all people should know Chloe could not have been Ladybug, so there needs to be another motive, one to target the girl and not a presumed hero.

Ah yes, punishing her for helping Adrien slip his grasp.

Evilillustrator, would be next, neglecting the humiliation and abuse his teacher subjected him to in favor or murdering a girl for a snide comment regarding his crush.

Now you might say, what of Roger, Rose, Juleka and Kim?

But remember, even an Akuma will not go against the deep and abiding instincts of its source human. Their loved one's may be in endangered on accident or in a deranged bit to assist them.

But never would they be intentionally harmed.

In this same vain, a man who believes wholeheartedly in his duty to be of service to the community, a girl whose most malevolent self only wanted a dream wedding, a girl who wished to be seen and a boy who wished for love to disappear.

All Akuma that either would not or could not kill by their nature or that of their powers. They would be insufficient for breaking the girl who defied him.

Antibug is where things begin to change.

Convinced that her beloved idol hated her just as her mother always had, Chloe began to break. So much so she could not avoid his Akuma this time.

Able to defeat Chat Noir and a fair match for Ladybug she was one of the stronger Aluma. Not in the upper echelons like Style Queen or Sanboy, but worth stoking over the coals for an even greater reaction.

Speaking of Style Queen, you may question why Gabriel would allow his son, who has so far avoided all harm from any Akuma to be struck low.

I remind you that while his control is great it is not infinite. I would add that not only does Hawk Moth's ego outstrip his control but so too does his scheming.

Why snub the notoriously angry Style Queen? Why would Nathalie, an otherwise sensible woman go along with the insult. Only to see him retract it the next day? Why was Gabriel who has refused to leave his manor in all other attacks absent when the Style Queen invaded his home?

Why if not for the fact he sought to make Style Queen and with Mayura's help could do so. But she was not enough alone, but her presence would bring about inspiration for his newest scheme.

It would bring about Queen Wasp.

But first, you may question why Gabriel would allow his son, who has so far avoided all harm from any Akuma to be struck low. I remind you that while his control is great it is not infinite, and would go further and note how strange it is that Gabriel would be absent from his manor.

He would not leave during any other Akuma attack, yet the this one? How odd, lest

Murdered by her mother the day before, then rejected by her yet again, mind on the edge of snapping she orchestrated her own self destruction and from the wreckage crawled the first Akumatized Miraculous User.

For we cannot call her a hero.

Who was the next Akuma, but her own father. His intent with her just as it was with his wife, to keep her in Paris for his own pleasure at her expense. Conveniently ensuring Hawk Moth's new muse could not slip the leash she did not even know was fastening around her neck.

Just as hoped it would see, she was chosen this time to wield a Miraculous and she would be chosen again on Heroes' Day. Hawk Moth's only known effort to Akumatize others rather than letting the people of Paris do his work for him.

This was where we first saw sign of Mayura and to any who have been wondering. Yes, this is why The Collector & Simon Says mean so little. There was always a hidden second who could have commanded the Akuma, and if not, paint a target on his back from a target so far away that the here's would surely arrive in time.

With Mayura's arrival came a new wave of terror, not just for Paris but Chloe in particular.

Don't believe me, I do not blame you, but it is the truth.

Over the months following Heroes Day, battle after battle would be fought before the former Miraculous Holder. Always in front of her home where the Bee Signal shone, always to see her rejected by her idol.

From this came Miracular.

Close, but not close enough, Chloe resister the Akum, but Sabrina could not and within moments of Chat's arrival Mayura was upon them.

The villains had been waiting, a clear signal they had been observing her for sometimes, a clear signal of their continued interest.

Especially given, despite the months of absence, the moment it was necessary, Queen Bee flew again. Even as Ladybug swore this would be the last time as she doubtlessly had done for the last two months of battle.

Only to change her mind as needs demanded it.

But do not think her egotistical my witnesses. It was not merely Chloe who was targeted but another as well.

Marinette Dupain Cheng. A girl who has yet to be Akumatized, who holds a disdain for liars and seeks truth. Such an ideal recipe for an Akuma that could force Ladybug & Chat Noir into the light.

Thus it was, she'd be framed for cheating, theft and assault before her classmates by one Lila Rossi. Perhaps this would not convince you alone but I ask.

How did Hawk Moth know the class he has so often predated on, the class which contains Adrien Agrest, if he did not have a hand in this event?

This was not the first time Lila was used as such. Whispering sweet lies into Chloe's ears about how to summon Ladybug but leaving her humiliated instead.

Has she not done the same with others? Kagami for instances.

Decaying day by day, and nightmare by nightmare, Miracle Queen approached and this is where it all comes together.

Her feuding parents presenting with a garment both ugly and enraging that binds them together by a man who proclaims himself a designer.

An Akuma on the scene in mere moments, to combine them into one. The parents turned against the child enough to harm her yet again, but kept from devouring her. Finally, the Bee Signal sabotaged.

Why this family, why this girl even before the Miraculous? Who would know her well enough to orchestrate such targeted strikes against her psyche? What man has the motive, resources and insight to break Chloe Bourgeois?

Why its the same man whose beloved assistant fell ill at the same time as Mayura vanished from the field of battle. Its the same man who had a hand in the transformation of Style Queen & Heart Hunter. It is the same man who promised a desperate girl a movie, only to rip it away with a subtle smile. Knowing his Akuma would find her soon.

But he was not ready for me, or in a way, for her.

Chloe Bourgeois, the girl you knew, no longer exists. She had no desire to anymore, more than Hawk Moth saw to that.

What she did desire was to prove she was more than a Super Disaster and means by which to free her from the role long since assigned to her.

For the latter, came a Sentimonster not long for this world. Its power exorcising that malevolent miasma of Hawk Moth. But even as it was destroyed the creatures magic did as it was bid.

For his voice had gone silent, the rage faded and the Akuma was taken into more than this mere suit but into the skin, to course through her blood and bury itself in her marrow.

Now I emerge from the girl that was once Chloe Bourgeois with three purposes.

To tell the world of Gabriel's crimes, to defeat Hawk Moth, and be an exceptional Hero.

I am Chrysididae and for what its worth, I am sorry.

[pensymbols]

if i had to give a ppe presentation on anything itd be about how nicos fatal flaw isnt holding grudges but being loyal and how percys isnt loyalty its holding grudges and in this essay

[bare1ythere]

Trying to figure out why this guy in my discussion group for class was annoying me so much and I finally figured it out: I hate being in any class after 3:30pm and the moment I set foot in that room I am immediately irritated just by the fact that I'm there

[witchspeka]

I do think Shou genuinely doesn't know Mob's name, like why would he?? He never properly introduced himself, their only "proper" interaction was Mob saving him and one (1) singular line of dialogue at the end of S1

But if Shou were to pick up on anybody's naming convention it would be Ritsus... who doesn't really call Mob by name anyway...

So this was just a long winded way to say that one day Shou will slip up and accidentally call Mob "nii-san" the way you accidentally call your teacher "mom"

[jorvikzelda]

today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago

[cheemken]

Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.

I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.

Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.

Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha

Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo

But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight

And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him

Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes

Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Yeah yeah yeah people can grow and change and become better that doesnt mean minority groups have to forgive and forget things that hurt them

[sentimentalslut]

So I've hit a bit of a dead end in my life where I have no idea what to do or what I want to do. Do you have any advice on how to try and figure it all out?

Also I love ur duncney fics you should be an author <3

listen, anon. i'm 26. as much as i am flattered that you think i have it figured out, i do not. i'm willing to bet i wont have it figured out in ten years or twenty or forty-five. the thing is, i'm fine with that.

so here's my advice:

honestly, just keep living. put one foot in front of the other. find things you enjoy for no other purpose than enjoyment.

you don't have to 'do' anything -- living is about experiences. not every one of them have to have a purpose.

most of being human is drifting around and wondering why youre here. none of us really have the answer. that's okay. that's normal. maybe you'll never figure out what you're meant to 'do'. and that's fine!

the thing that keeps me anchored in the sea of Being Alive All the Time, and the thing that keeps most people anchored, is passion.

step one of discovering your passion, whatever it is, is to allow yourself to discover it. pick up pointless new hobbies and let yourself put them down if you dont enjoy them. read new books. read wikipedia articles for things youve never heard of. go on long walks in new parts of your neighborhood. listen to a new podcast. watch a video essay about something stupid youve always been curious about.

make bad art. paint shitty pictures, draw shitty portraits, write shitty stories. let yourself be bad at things. let yourself be purposeless.

accept the fact that you are human and unsure about your place in the universe -- because those two things go hand in hand. this is the curse of sentience. embrace it.

[ladynicte]

I really wonder if fatal flaws are actually like a family thing, Bianca does say that, that the fatal flaw of all children of Hades is holding onto grudges, but I do wonder if maybe that's just her fatal flaw and she just assumed that would be Nico's too

[minglana]

the fact that i cant be mean for too long bc i start to feel bad.... lmao

[littlemuppetmonsters]

listening to the new fob album on repeat until i like it

[hecksupremechips]

It’s been ages since I dusted off my love for Starkid but nothing will ever infuriate me as much as the song from Black Friday thats like “what Tim wants Tim will get” didn’t get a fucked up reprise where Tom is holding someone at gunpoint in order to make Tim’s wishes come true and prove himself as a father