#its like a zebra cake

[monochromatictoad]

Since Dracul doesn't sleep, like, at all. Imagine Hector and Mathias watching as this man either stays on the throne or paces around aimlessly, but they never see him sleep. Maybe Mathias confronts him about it because Dracul tries to nod off as Mathias is talking. Dracul simply growls and walks away. Now, Mathias might interpret this as Dracul being angry with him, and tell Hector about it.

Now imagine this, one night Hector leaves for a moment, leaving Mathias alone in bed. Maybe he got called by the Toymaker for some assistance. Imagine something crawling in bed with Mathias, and he almost immediately knows it's not Hector. It's heavy and weirdly warm and cold at the same time. It also smells like rot and death. So he wakes up and instinctively tries to get away, only to see Dracul passed out on top of him. The Castle also shifts above him, and informs the confused Lord that, Dracul was asleep and it needed a safe place to leave him. And that if him or Hector hurt its Prince, it will make sure that their death will be long and painful. Before just, vanishing from the room, now leaving Mathias under Dracul. Imagine Hector when he returns and finds his Lord and Dracul in bed together. Of course,Mathias would explain what he understood happened. Maybe this will make Hector and Mathias see something more in Dracul as he sleeps. Maybe Dracul would wake up not even an hour into the nap, and immediately tries to get back up. He offers no discussion nor explanation.

Maybe this becomes a pattern. A very sad pattern.

Anyways, that's just some thoughts I had.

@beevean @the-crow-binary

[2oranges]

MY FRIEND GOT ME FOOD!!!!!!

[milk-tea-sakura]

Hi! May I order a zebra cake with a side of genmaicha. As spicy as possible pls w/ bts namjoon and jungkook😄

Two Is Better Than One

𝓒𝔀: 𝓢𝓶𝓾𝓽, 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮, 𝓓𝓸𝓶! 𝓝𝓪𝓶𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷, 𝓢𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱! 𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓴𝓸𝓸𝓴, 𝓢𝓾𝓫! 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻, 𝓞𝓻𝓪𝓵 (𝓕𝓮𝓶! 𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰), 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓾𝓵𝓽𝓲𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼, 𝓹𝓾𝓼𝓼𝔂 𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 1161

𝓔𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮: 4 𝓶𝓲𝓷 35 𝓼𝓮𝓬

𝘡𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘬𝘦 - "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩."

𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢 - 𝘖𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘹

Hope you enjoy!!

Order list

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Namjoon and Jungkook sat on the couch in their apartment, each of them scrolling through their phones. As Y/n came out of the bathroom after her shower, Namjoon's gaze lingered on her for a moment too long, admiring the way her wet hair clung to her bare shoulders.

Jungkook also looked up, his eyes widening slightly as he took in Y/n's appearance, and a wicked grin slowly spread across his face.

Y/n noticed the sudden change in the atmosphere in the room, and she could feel the heat of both Namjoon and Jungkook's gazes on her. "What?" she asked, feigning nonchalance as she walked towards the couch.

Namjoon set down his phone, his eyes still fixed on Y/n. "Nothing," he said, his voice low and silky. "Just admiring the view."

Jungkook chuckled, setting his phone aside as well. "Yeah, you're looking...awfully nice tonight," he said, his tone dripping with innuendo.

Y/n felt a shiver run down her spine at their words, her skin prickling with anticipation. She knew what they wanted, and she wanted it too, but she also couldn't resist teasing them.

"Oh, really?" she asked, feigning innocence.

Namjoon and Jungkook shared a look, both grinning at her response. They knew she was playing coy, and it only made them want her more.

"Come here," Namjoon said, his voice authoritative and commanding. He held out his hand, gesturing for her to join them on the couch.

Y/n felt her heart skip a beat at Namjoon's tone. She walked over to the couch and took his hand, letting him pull her onto his lap. He guided her so she was straddling him, her damp hair falling around her face like a curtain.

Jungkook moved closer, closing the gap between them. He ran his hands up her thighs, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his eyes roaming over her body appreciatively.

Y/n felt a flush creeping up her neck at their words, her body responding to their touch. She could feel Namjoon's hands gripping her hips, holding her in place as he leaned in to press a kiss to the sensitive skin of her collarbone. Meanwhile, Jungkook's hands continued to explore her thighs, his touch getting increasingly intimate.

"Lay down on the couch baby. Let us taste you, hm?" Namjoon tells you while using your hips to guide you down to the couch.

Y/n obediently laid down on the couch, her heart racing at the words and the rough tone of Namjoon's voice. Her head fell back onto the cushions, her hair fanning out around her head in a chaotic mess. She could feel the weight of their gazes on her, their eyes burning with desire.

"Can I take these off?" Jungkook asks motioning to your panties. You nod in response but that wasn't enough for them. "Words, pretty." Namjoon reminds.

Y/n swallowed hard, her face flushed. "Yes," she said, her voice coming out as a whisper. "Take them off."

Jungkook grins, the look in his eyes dark and full of promise. He moves to the edge of the couch, positioning himself between your legs. His hands slide up your thighs, his touch gentle but firm as he finds the waistband of your panties.

Namjoon moves up to sit on the back of the couch, his eyes locked on you and what Jungkook is about to do. He lifts one hand to brush your hair away from your face, his touch almost tender, while his other hand grips the back of the couch in anticipation.

Jungkook slowly peels your panties off, the fabric sliding down your legs and thrown off to the side. Once they are finally off you open your legs to the awaiting man in front of you.

“Do you still want to continue?” Jungkook asks while planting kisses on the inside of your thighs. You whimper out “Yes, please.” Without being told anything else Jungkook dove in, sucking and licking your clit like a starved man.

You throw your head back against the couch in pleasure at the contact. As you moan and buck into Jungkook’s mouth Namjoon grabs one of your hands as he threads his fingers through Jungkooks hair, pushing him closer against your core.

You moan at the extra pressure against your pussy, bucking your hips against his mouth. Eventually, Jungkook pins your hips down to the sofa, finding it too hard to keep his pace against your core. When Namjoon finally removes his hand from Jungkooks hair, Jungkook leans back, his lips and chin coated with your slick.

“Tell her how good she tastes,” Namjoon instructs Jungkook, almost like you weren't even there. But still, Jungkook answers looking at you “You taste like heaven, and I can’t get enough of you.” 

Namjoon quickly shifts from your side, joining Jungkook on the floor. Namjoon grabs Jungkook’s jaw, forcing him into a kiss in which Junkook complied in. They kiss each other while you lay on the sofa, the bottom half of your body exposed and needy. As they kiss Namjoon licks Jungkooks lips and chin, effectively returning your slick back into Jungkooks mouth.

Once they break away Namjoon Shifts so he’s kneeling next to Jungkook, they both take a leg and spread it apart a little further apart to fit the two of them so they can both taste your juices at the same time.

You whine in response to everything that’s been happening. “Please, touch me, I need it please” you continuously beg them.

Namjoon is the first to act, leaning in to lick your clit in turn making you jump in pleasure. As Namjoon continues his assault on your clit, Jungkook leans in as well, slightly pushing Namjoons to face out of the way so he can get a taste too.

The feeling of the two tongues on your core brings you closer to your climax. Both Namjoon and Jungkook use one arm each to hold your hips down as they assault your core. Their tongues overlap each other periodically, kissing each other as they make out with your cunt.

This feeling brings you to your climax immediately. Your back arching off the sofa, hips trying to twist out of their grasp, legs trying to close around their heads, and your hands pushing and pulling them towards and away from you, unsure of if you want more or if it’s too much.

They continue lapping at your cunt until you finally come down from your high, twitching and whining. As they pull away from you they gently close your legs letting you take a short break.

“You with us?” Namjoon asks sweetly. Still, in a haze, you hum a small yes and nod with a soft smile on your face.

“That’s good, now, do you think you can handle a little more? Since Kookie and I have a little problem?” 

[marrkopolo]

A Wise Man Once Said

Precious lost its ring in the scrap yard with no metal detector the lavender pussywillows hide the trolls

Hong Kong wheel of fate UW spinned it first Knights of Templar slaughtered at a mass concert of bloody crimson tide

Tithe on a full moon for 2x the glee The crash of waves against the rocks, like bodies slapping against each other during sex blood shooting through veins Hot heat, sticky, in Iceland together I too, know of these lands

Tax season says the King! blue knots on a tent red food buckets hung like death #four crosses in a foreign land alone is no place to exist

An underwater welder lying on the blue tarp, is like a union of troops led by a zebra.

Flying flags at Disney welcome to the world of water failed regret, emptiness and betrayal tattered flags get left to rot sew it in with the others together and the quilt becomes strong and scintillating

Crush you with your own history headless horseman and halo hair dark horse donuts This is as good as it gets!

Red-lipped lipstick cracked porcelain face You can't hold a candle to this

King of the Hill My pool stick is clean now true Kings swim in the swimming pool together King of the Hill Jack of Spades went with the stolen crown and robots learn to volunteer.

Pledge to a sanitizer salute to a gong beat your chest it's loud and strong Love at first sight or sounds like a good idea Wisdom of the crowd or individual motivation?

A rabbi with the yachts Fortified lamps sees all UFOs, telekinesis and even explosive lingerie. One denarius for a days work Why they get more? Stand while another sits. Then switch roles and you'll see why.

What sees with three eyes? The melatonin-like parental bond, third eye awoken, Moksha.

Insane Luke has a scar red dots that kill. Baldie takes biosphere crown the bald animal is cutting loose again Is doraphilia still fun to you?

I attempt to transform but the tea is too strong my hands have small heart Lying down a tiny raindrop falls into my ear swirling into the cochlea My whole world has changed!

Eczema stealing make-up twice North Face go north Racks of weapons are not enough this time

My mask is old but gold bars had paved my fortunate path …a fortunate path(whispering)

Tik Tok vault one exit is enough The eagle has docked into spray-painted madness. Not to fret I hear a falcon cry Jump when the law is bent it will help you fly

Six shooter Six pack 3 sewers 3 fires Twin-spirit 1 spacesuit

Mountain top king of the hill climb Nepal Hajj pilgrimage princess climbs like a pirate piggyback down the wedding aisle

Opposites attract

One fell to its doom down the abyssal void towards the bottom and a ghost ship lost in the Bermuda Triangle with Pandoras Box Lazarus

Gunpowder in shoes Footprints in the sand Jesus did not tap

Short and tall fat and thin Lookalikes Soundalikes Smellalikes the hunt of touch and taste What double currencies create the ultimate Yin Yang effect? AI said to cure pride and competition, exchange abacus rubik-cubed calculators instead of cash.

Echoes and reverberation voices become lightning WATTS= AMPS X VOLTS

Float your payloads into the troposphere with skinny vertical structures of contained saltwater Heat a planet with a satellite asteroid belt

A call for help QR codes morse code gun flare smoke signal what are your coordinates? R-E-B-O-R-N

Some ancients say gunpowder only made flee then gun made to kill Oil spills from bronze age to silicon chips flood the market cut the mall castle cake in half Zangief on a segway You win.Perfect.

Lawrence Groves copyright©2024

[therealmsdelulu]

Prince Eric/Jonah Hauer King Masterlist

KEY

💔-Angst(sad ending)

❤️‍🩹-Angst(happy ending)

🤍-fluff

🫣-semi-smut

😫-smut

🤩-author's favorite

🥰-reader's favorite

PRINCE ERIC

Series:

'My Little Mermaid' (Series)❤️‍🩹🤍

Entanglement *coming soon*

Oneshots:

Imposter: Summary: You run away after a big fight with your mom, having no other way to escape, you decide to sneak onto the Prince's ship. A little angst if you squint but mostly fluff. Prince Eric x F!Reader.🤍🤩

Picnic Date: Summary: A super cute fluffy picnic with your favorite Prince.  Prince Eric x Gn!reader. Super short and sweet.🤍

The two times Eric realized he loved you and the one time he told you.:Summary: Basically the title. The two times that Eric realized he loved the reader and the one time he finally admitted it.🤍🥰🤩

All Too Well (Y/N and Eric’s Version):Summary: F!Reader and Eric see each other for the first time after breaking up. They reminisce about their relationship and realise they’re still in love with each other. Inspired by All Too Well by Taylor Swift. ❤️‍🩹🤍

Would you love me if I was a worm: Summary: Its the middle of the night and the reader has a very important question.🤍

Sea sick:You finally agree to go on a voyage with the Prince but you suddenly remembers why it took so long to convince you in the first place. 🤍

Something Bout the Way You Look Tonight🤍🫣

Surprise(coming soon)

The Great War (coming soon)

JONAH HAUER KING

Overwhelmed: You get overwhelmed during a red carpet but Jonah is there to calm you down.🤍

Batter and Banter: You and Jonah have a super domestic moment baking and light playful bantering.🤍🥰🤩

Batter and Banter Pt. 2🤍🥰🤩

Trailer Shenanigans: Jonah really missed you and plans on showing you exactly how much.🫣🥰🤍

Can’t Get Enough of You: Jonah and Reader dancing to RnB in the living room.🤍

Eating for Two Reader is pregnant and Jonah is excited to be a father.🤍

Pretty Boy Reader admiring Jonah🤍🤩

But Mommy I Love Him! : Jonah finally meets the readers family but Reader’s mom doesn’t like him (at first).🤍

Dont Forget About Us 🤍

Doc McStuffins 🤍

Swiper, No swiping🤍

Aftercare🤍

Interviews and Intimacy 🤍

Thirst Tweets 🤍🤩

Thirst tweets pt 2 🤍

Smudged lipstick🤍

I can see you 😫

Drunken kisses(coming soon)

Jaffa Cakes and Zebra Cakes *coming soon*

LAST UPDATED: 9/2/23

*Requests are currently open*

[bellarosethefangirl]

Bucci gang x Reader Headcanons

Baking Their S/o A Valentines Surprise

Taglist:

@syntheticseraton1n @danielle-marie @shxftxng @noaltbruh

If you'd like to be added to my taglist, info here

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno would do his best to impress you so he's baking you a four tier double chocolate cake with valentines sprinkle's

He would plan out the sweet treat a week ahead to make sure he bought the best ingredients on the market

He's really good at baking and decorating desserts

He spent two days creating this lovely cake for you

He'll wear a cute pink floral apron with ladybug oven mitts

He got you a gift bag full of items you've had your eyes on for months

Giorno would wear a nice suit since he'd take you to a garden date after you both enjoy the cake

When presenting the cake to you he has a smile on his face and he went above and beyond by growing a vase of red roses too

Your glowing smile made all the time and effort he put into this surprise for you worth it

If you comment how delicious the cake is his eyes gleam with joy as he gives you a charming smile and kiss to your forehead

Narancia Ghirga

Narancia isn't the best cook but he can bake cookies, cakes, and brownies easily. He'll decide to bake you some vanilla cupcakes decorated in pink frosting and topped with conversation heart candies

He'd be rapping while listening to loud rap on his stereo. He'd dance as he's waiting for the cupcakes to bake or cool down.

Since you're not home he'd grab his gift he bought you from a music store. He'll have it ready for you by the cupcakes.

As he is decorating he's hoping for a hug and kiss from you

Once you're home you're greeted by an eager Narancia with a tower of Valentines cupcakes. His lips are puckered up causing you to giggle and kiss him. He combed his hair and wore cologne for you! He's so cute.

He'll watch as you enjoy your cupcake opening his gift for you

Your appreciation means a lot to him so he's so happy when you give him a hug

He's taking you on a movie date so he hopes you're ready for junk food and a movie together

Bruno Bucciarati

Of course he'd be a good baker. He'd bake your favorite type of cake then decorate it in a lovely Valentines theme topping it with a heart shaped store bought cookie

The man may be a capo but he made time for you since its Valentines day

He'll wear a zipper themed apron and his hair is in a bun as he is working on your cake. Smooth jazz is playing on his record player as he thinks about you. He misses you so much.

His apron is pretty dirty since he made you dinner too. He was sure to make your favorite meal. This man will surprise you with a romantic candle lit dinner with wine glasses and rose petals.

As he waits for the cakes to cool down he gets ready for you. He'll wear a suit and put his best suit on. He wants to impress you so of course he is going above and beyond.

After he is done getting ready the zipper apron is back on and he decorates while his stand cleans up the kitchen

The moment you arrive home Bruno greets you in the sweetest tone with a pet name. As your eyes widen at such a surprise his smile radiates the room.

You're no match against his arms wrapping around you. You thank him for everything with kiss.

He pushes your chair in for you and starts serving you the food he made. He's sure to remind you to leave room for the cake he made you. Your eyes light up seeing your favorite food and such a marvelous cake.

Bruno is happy to see you enjoy his cooking and the slice of cake he served you. You thank him with lots of kisses

Guido Mista

This man is a foodie and sure loves to cook. He will take inspiration from circus animal cookies and recreate them into heart shaped cookies for you. He'll top them with Valentine's sprinkles.

He thought cookies would be best so the leftovers could be easily saved in a cookie jar for later

He's got a chef hat and red zebra print apron whistling as he listens to the radio.

It takes him time to coat the cookies in the melted chocolate but he knows they'll turn out fine

After he is done decorating he'll write you a note, "Happy Valentines, sweetheart I baked you cookies. I'll be in the living room shortly. I have snacks and a movie waiting for you. Be there in a bit. Your man Mista-"

He takes a shower making sure he chose an expensive body wash. He wants cuddles after all

You try some cookies once you arrive home. His note didn't go unnoticed so you head to the living room.

You soon see Mista standing in front of you in a new pair of striped pants. He's shirtless with his arms out wide open for you.

As you're in his arms be sure to compliment him or fondle him. He loves it. He'll hold you in his arms as you both watch movies together.

If you thank him for the cookies or praise his baking he kisses your forehead and sweetly tells you, "Happy Valentines, love you babe"

Fugo Pannacotta

Fugo will choose a difficult dessert such as macaroons but he planned it a week prior so he's prepared

He will want them to be perfect! The heart shapes must be perfect too. He'll even give you three different fillings for each! If the heart shaped macaroons aren't symmetrical then he will redo them as many times as it takes

He bakes in the cutest red strawberry print apron with a small low ponytail showing off his strawberry earrings in the process. He'll also have the cutest matching baking mittens too.

He will read a book as he waits for them to bake and cool down

He'll think of different imagines of you reacting to your surprise. Murmuring responses to himself. "Yes belleza all for you!", "Oh you like my macaroons? What's that? A kiss?"

His favorite are secretly the beige colored macaroons with the red roses and lettering filled with, "I love you". He loves his handwriting and gets bashful about telling you he loves you

He'll neatly place them on a strawberry plate beside a large vase of flowers for you. He'll make sure they're your favorite type of flowers

When you arrive home and see the surprise he has such a pleased expression. His smile is super humble upon hearing your compliments. He hopes you kiss him.

If you do he starts to get love drunk. Half lidded purple eyes with a visible small blush.

He's so happy seeing your reactions to the flowers and dessert he made you

You two will watch a movie together while enjoying the macaroons.

Leone Abbacchio

Abbacchio isn't much of a cook but he's decent when he wants to be. His baking skills are decent too. He desired to make the cookies because acts of service are his love language. He'll decide to make you sugar cookies

He'll make a small batch of the cookies decorating them in a nightmare before Christmas theme. He wants to be a little romantic and reference the couple from the movie. He hopes you understand the implication. He is a man of few words after all

His hair is in a ponytail as he bakes. He won't wear an apron but he will listen to music as he bakes and decorates the cookies

It took him quite a bit of time to decorate so he sure hopes you enjoy them.

He plans to take you to a restaurant when you arrive home

When you arrive and compliment or thank him he's eating up the attention. He will smile if he receives affection from you.

He got you a black rose and compliments you

If he see's you enjoy one he'll be happy. He isn't as into sweets so he won't try one

He'll undo his ponytail and ask you to get ready to go out. He's surprising you with your favorite restaurant

Trish Una

She decides to bake you some pink sugar cookies bars with cream cheese frosting and valentine's sprinkle's.

She has a very girly pink apron with her stereo playing her favorite CD. She sing's along as she bakes. Her sweet voice is so beautiful as she sings.

She'll have a big smile on her face as she thinks about you. She'll ever so often look over to the gift bag she has ready for you. It will have two expensive presents inside

She decides to bake you some pink sugar cookies bars with cream cheese frosting and valentine's sprinkle's.

She has a very girly pink apron with her stereo playing her favorite CD. She sing's along as she bakes. Her sweet voice is so beautiful as she sings.

She'll have a big smile on her face as she thinks about you. She'll ever so often look over to the gift bag she has ready for you. It will have two expensive presents inside

Trish will start singing about romance as she is frosting the cookie bars. She touches up her makeup and changes into a sexy dress.

Her lovely green eyes light up upon hearing you arrive at the door. She greets you by serenading you. She's feeling flirty if you get bashful or in a romantic mood. She will give you a kiss and direct you to her surprise.

Any response from you gives her joy. If you compliment her look she'll want affection. She'll love to see your reaction to the presents she bought you. If you greet her with a bouquet or gift she'll kiss and hug you as thanks

Afterwards you two are going to a high end restaurant in her limo

[offantasiesandreams]

OK. Hear me out: The reader making cute little plushies for the Elsens.

That's it. Go crazy. Go stupid

Ahhhh I envy reader in this one, I really wish I was capable of making plushies as well! That idea is so cute, the Elsen deserve to have a nice and warm, cuddly friend with them at all times! I wrote this a few months ago, in June or July, while I was still at school, so I don't remember if I've proofread this or not! And, in all honesty, I have too much commuting to do today to be able to properly do so either, so, sorry about that ^^'

Reader Making Cute Plushies for the Elsen

As someone who has always had a passion for creating and bringing smiles upon others, it pained you to see those poor inhabitants of such a bleak world, wishing to give them something to make them happy, to bring them joy and glee in this dreadful place. So, you’ve decided to make some plushies for them, a passion of yours for quite some time now. Anything and everything that came to mind, things, that those poor creatures have likely never seen before.

From armadillos to zebras, you’ve made it all as cute as possible, not wanting to scare away the shy and anxious Elsen. And some of them took a liking to your work as you went on with it, watching you with interest from the corners of their eyes, some even going as far as watching you over your shoulders as you oh so masterfully sewed together the ears of a panda. Once you’ve finished the animal and gave it to the first Elsen in your vicinity, the one observing your work and asking you about it, his eyes growing wide in surprise.

Cautiously, he took it from you, scrutinising it from every angle, trying to find the danger or harm in it. What if there was a bomb in it? What if meat was going to ooze from it? But no matter how much he poked and squeezed the plushie, nothing happened. In fact, the worst it did was give him the impression it was going to make a squeaky noise at any opportunity, but it never did. For a second, it seemed as though he was shaking with excitement, his tired smile turning genuine. Turning around, he showed off the gift he had received, with the other Elsen immediately taking to it.

As soon as the others had each taken their turn touching the felt, petting and squeezing it, the original Elsen took back its newly prized possession, thanking you and bowing low to you, wishing to show his gratitude. Soon after he had left, the others would flock to you, watching you intently, hoping to each receive a small gift from you, which you happily obliged with, giving each of them a small friend to call their own.

Soon enough, after a few days of preparation and weeks worth of work, every one of them had a small plushie with them at all times, cuddling them, making them have tea parties, yes, even living out their dreams through them together.

It didn’t take too long for all of them to plot and scheme together, knowing fully well that they would have a newfound guardian with them along with their original one. And yet, as much love as they have found within their novel toys, they were going to pay that exact same love back to you. They may not have had much, but they were willing to share what they did have with you. And thus, one day, you would find yourself getting dragged around by those small creatures into the library, the central part of zone 2. For as much as they looked down upon noise and intruders, they would hold a small “party” for you there. Even if calling it such was nothing short of a severe exaggeration, it was sweet nevertheless. And thus, they gifted you a cake, shaped in the likes of many a creatures you gifted them. Crocodiles, ostriches, turtles, everything you could think of was there. It was quite the small spectacle, but one of love, adoration and gratitude for you.

[leclerced]

Okay since my frustration is out the window I come bearing Maxoscar meeting their girl.

For me she knows from the beginning they’re vampires or has no clue about vampires apart from binging TVD. So maybe one time when Oscar is kind of new he maybe feeds on her friend and when she finds them she thinks he’s murdering the poor girl so she starts hitting him with her bag or sth and only after sees that he’s got fangs and her friend doesn’t look like she was being slaughtered or sth. So maybe she’s a little frick and starts asking him questions and is super interested in what it’s like to be a vampire. Then Max finds them and is like “oh fuck…Oscar what have u done and why is some human girl interrogating you in a dark alley?”

If she doesn’t know then I see Max and Oscar go to the store to buy groceries (in my head vampires still eat normal food not only drink blood cause it would be a sad life, not being able to eat). But Max knows only the basic since he was holed up in his mansion for however long. So the boys stand in the middle of the sweet’s alley and argue about sth and right this moment our girlie comes up to them and is like “umm not that I want to be nosy or sth but I recommend *this, this and this*”. Max would be mesmerised by her for some reason and awkwardly try talking to her but everything comes out wrong and Oscar is trying to save the situation but he’s the best in things like that either so they both are embarrassed af but she just thinks it’s cute and gives them her number.

okok ballerina anon sent another ask im gonna post after this one ! tell me which u guys like more they r all different

i like the idea of her going out with friends and catching oscar feeding on one of them!! she'd assume they're hooking up and she starts laughing, "oh my god you're so drunk you're hooking up in an alley? no, we are going home." and then oscar looks up and she sees fangs and blood. finding out vampires exist because one of them is sucking on her friend's neck in the alley way is definitely not the best way to be introduced to the supernatural underworld. so she's totally freaking out. max shows up while oscar tries to calm her down by telling him he wasn't going to kill her, and he immediately starts complaining about how oscar's a mess and he needs to stop feeding in public because this is the third time he's been caught in a month. they just bicker back and forth while she stands there in shock. idk how it would continue but the idea is funny

the grocery store thing is cute. i kinda love it. oscar's trying to explain what each of the packages of treats are, but keeps telling max he hasn't actually tried them. "i mean, its an oatmeal cookie sandwich with cream in the middle." "yeah but, is it good?" "i haven't tried it, but it looks good, doesn't it?" after oscar explains what he thinks zebra cakes are for a third time, she interrupts and tells them they should get the oatmeal cream pies, the honey buns, and that the cosmic brownies are a must have, too. max starts questioning her on them, asking what her favorite is and why? oscar apologizes for the questions and says she can finish shopping, but she thinks they're cute so she's like, "tell you what. i'll give you my number and after you try them you tell me your favorites and i'll tell you mine."

max doesn't have a phone, so he writes her number at the bottom of his grocery list and makes oscar take him out to buy a cell phone afterwards. i think he would call her instead of texting like oscar suggests, he wants to hear her voice. he really wanted to facetime her after the at&t employee told him about that feature but oscar quickly talked him down and made him wait a day before he let him call the number. with this idea, how and when does she find out they’re vampires?

[totaleclipse573]

First of all Total, let me make it 100% crystal clear that YOU ARE LOVED!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you feel better soon, so I am here to offer my services to talk. :) Here's a few questions for ya.

What are the favorite foods of your OCs?

In the Clone AU, does anyone else besides Shadow and Tails (I think) know Eclipse is a Clone?

Do you have any headcanons about Starline and his past? :]

🥺This made me smile <3 Thanks sm

The favorite foods for each of them? That's quite the list...

Terios - Loves both mac n cheese and cookies. Not at the same time though....possibly

Doleon? Hmm...he'd like meaty stuff, of course. Not sure what specifically...he also just eats rocks /gen

The Chaos Sibs (who I need to talk about more) are all different. Sky likes biscuits, Rose loves cupcakes (specifically chili chocolate cupcakes, pyrokinesis gives her a reaaaally high spice tolerance level in general,) Zoom is a simple boy. Peanut butter sandwich.

Penny loves pizza, Evelyn probably likes poundcakes with whipped cream, and I think Pollux would try those mini zebra cakes and go starry eyed (possibly literally)

2nd question? Yeah, others know. Rouge and Omega, of course, maybe Sonic? At one point? Remember how Clip hadn't gotten to meet anyone in this au. He wasn't redeemed, so for example, if Sonic were to find out, he'd know from others that this was a clone, but uh. What's up with the original you speak of. There was one, apparently! (Also, if we're counting the au of the au, then Starline, too. Bc ofc that happened 🤭)

And the last one. Ohhhhh yes I do. A few silly and one not so silly.

I'm going to assume that by "past," you mean when he was younger, hopefully I'm right 😅

The obvious theatre kid headcanon that is basically canon by this point

Starline isn't his name. It's his last name. He's called Dr. STARLINE. That means its his last name and I will not be changing my mind. What is his first name, I have to know. Give me answers Sega, before I headcanon Perry (this is relevant I promise look : it's probably something he hated so much that he went to great lengths to never reference it ever again in adulthood)

He wasn't really.....cared about. Didn't get much attention. Ever. And it lead him to, in the future, do anything to get the approval of his idol. He's so dedicated to prove that he can and WILL succeed, by any means possible. He HAS potential, and NOBODY CARES. (When character no backstory or explanation for their actions, I give backstory and explanation for their actions. Simple as that.)

He was 100% The Weird Kid™

I've seen most of the interpretations of his past have him come from a wealthy family. I like to think they were literally just normal, and his eggman fanboy-ism happened after witnessing an attack nearby. He's totally normal guys. The place is on fire yeah yeah whatever but look at the TECH on those things

Haven't thought about it much since the single brainburst all of this came from, but there you go!

[babygirl-riley]

Cravings

Being pregnant is never easy, at least for Allison. The twins are kicking her ass, which includes kicking Simon’s when he doesn’t bring the right cravings for her. Simon thinks she needs a exorcism…

Warnings: Swearing, pregnancy, cravings, mentions of sex, soft!Simon, Dad!Simon, and baby talk

Simon stood in front of the isle of box desserts for god for knows how long. He had two boxes in each hand, she was craving two different flavors, two different cakes, two different companies. He glared down at them cursing to himself of which one she told him to grab but was nervous on which one to actually buy. She was craving the American cake called Zebra Cakes and Cosmic Brownies, which both is horrendous tasting. Worst case he could buy both and suffer with eating one of the boxes or sneaking them out to Soap back at base.

Just an hour ago Allison was yelling at him saying that she wanted the cakes that have the zebra print rolled not the squared. He argued with her saying that they were the same damn thing before she threw the dessert on the other side of the fucking room. That's when he knew he had to leave, not only to yell and fight more with her, but because that wasn't like her to rage like that. Plus him saying she needed an exorcist didn't end well with cake smashed into his mask. He was pissed at himself to say that to her.

He has read that women's emotions change dramatically when being pregnant. Simon did a lot of research the last couple of weeks, being back in the states, was good for her and him, not only for the cakes and cravings, but for help. Her sister was here to help while he would be at base with the team, in a couple of days he had to leave for a couple of weeks, which not only he hated but Allison did too. He didn't want to leave her or the babies, they could be born anytime now, he researched on how they can be born 3 months before expected, hell even earlier in some cases.

Fuck the cakes. He shook his head and looked at them. Simon didn't mind the stares, people would pass by staring either at the mask or him suspiciously standing in the damn spot he has been in. "Sir," He snapped his head up to see a woman in the store uniform. "Finding everything alright?"

He let out a long exhale. Simon knew what that meant, standing here too long. "Yeah."

"Pregnant wife?" The worker asked smiling up at him.

He snapped his head down at her, she was an older lady. Glasses, very short compared to him, had a hunch. Tiny. "Uh," Wife...the word echoed in his mind. Wife. "Yeah." He said before catching himself. Fuck they are not married but the lady doesn't need to know that.

"When I was pregnant," She started as she took the cosmic brownies and placing them back on the shelf. "The Cosmic ones were not that good. Its the Ding Dongs." She said chuckling to herself.

"She doesn't like anything round or square has to be rolled up with these things." Simon mumbled.

The lady looked up at him puzzled then laughed before walking over to the Swiss Rolls. "These are basically like those ones but chocolate." She winked at him handing the box over.

He was hesitant at first, confused why she didn't kick him out like some places would with a masked man. He grabbed it gently. "Thank you ma'am."

"If you shop here more just ask for Gail. I will be willing to help with any soon to be parents." She rested her hand on his shoulder before walking away.

He watched her walk away before walking to the check out. Checking out was faster then deciding on the damn desserts, the walk home was as well. On the way home he couldn't pinpoint what else he had needed while he was out but figured it wasn't that important if he didn't remember it. When he took the elevator up to their short term apartment he heard Allison laughing. He felt that leap in his heart that he always felt when hearing her laugh, seeing her terribly dance to music, or even when she is asleep. He put the key in and unlocked the door, thinking he would step into a laughing Allison, instead she was crying.

He dropped the groceries and hurried to her, she was in the kitchen sitting on one of the chairs against the island. Palms on her face, shoulders up and down. Simon placed a hand on her shoulder. "Allison love?"

When she snapped her head up, he wanted to jolt back from the sudden movement. Her eyes swollen, cheeks stained with tears, red color covered her cheeks and around her eyes. His heart cracked a bit. "I want the bastards out. I can't believe I threw a cake at you. Fucking hell."

Simon chuckled before stopping himself when she gave him the stare that he hates. Like she is about to gouge his eyes out with the stare. "Love its okay I shouldn't have said you needed a priest."

Simon kissed the top of her head and she sighed. "I do though, I never been out of control with my emotions then after you left I dropped the ice that has now melted but it was the last of it. Now I am here crying like a bitch baby."

Simon's shoulders slouched a bit the pebble fucking ice. Damn. That is what he forgot, he was too fucking busy with the cakes, arguing with himself. Simon inhaled before grabbing the boxed desserts and placing them on the island facing her. Her eyes gleamed with joy and grabbed the Zebra Cakes. "Oh thank god!" She cheered as she ripped them open snatching a package.

When she started to eat them he turned to put the other box away, knowing that she would want more of the Zebra ones. "Simon," He turned to her and couldn't help but smirk at the crumb covered angel. "I am sorry for smashing the cake on your face." He grabbed one of her hands, taking his mask off, and kissing her fingers.

"I am sorry too love." He said rubbing her knuckles. She stared at him for a moment, smiling before it dropped.

"Simon you forgot the ice didn't you?" She asked and he stood up before inhaling.

She may be pregnant but she defiantly doesn't have the brain of one. Usually from what he read they don't have a good memory but her she has a memory of a dolphin. That is probably a good reason why she was on Task Force 141, even in this state she could probably do the duties then some of the men and women on the team. Simon sighed before nodding. "Yeah I will go..."

"No," She said shaking her head. "You can go another time. Its okay." Allison smiled at him and scoot her way off of the chair.

Simon felt his cock twitch, Allison and him for the last couple of weeks have not been able to keep their hands off of each other. Sex was more common then breathing. He inhaled controlling his thoughts of throwing her on top of the counter and fucking her senseless as he went around to walk next to her. Before he helped her sit down he grabbed the box of cakes setting them on the coffee table.

Simon helped her sit down on the couch before handing her the remote. She grabbed it carefully from him before bursting into tears. Simon blinked a couple of times not saying anything for a moment. "What is wrong dove?" He said petting her hair back to get a better look at her.

"I know...I..." She said catching her breath. "I know I said not to get the pebble ice but..."

Simon chuckled before shaking his head. "But you want them?"

She nodded her head before blowing a raspberry. "I am a mess Si."

"A hot mess." He agreed feeling the laser between his eyes.

........................................................................................................................

OMG guys its been soooo long! I tried to post more but damn school is kicking my ass! I hope you enjoyed this short one! I will be making more of my stories and hope to post more! Love lots! :)

Masterlist

[bazzpop]

An Angel and Demon’s Guide to Adopting Other Wayward Angels

Also posted to Ao3 here

Adoption is generally seen as a good thing for society. It helps orphaned children find loving new families and gives couples the chance to experience parenthood even if they cannot bare their own young. Sure, the process has its ups and downs but many adoptive parents agree that it is one of the best decisions they’ve made in their short lifetimes.

Those parents, of course, have thought extensively enough about adoption to have gone through with finalizing the legal documents in order to take in a child— Aziraphale and Crowley, have not.

They just show up all on their own, really.

Crowley sniffs the air, another one, he thinks, with a resigned sigh.

This is the fourth time this month that they’ve been bothered by heaven’s attempt at supervision. Not that it’s really a bother anymore, he’s more amused than coiled up to strike now, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys having the constant interruptions. Especially during the last few times when he and Aziraphale had been rather occupied, snogging while he sat on the angel’s desk as said angel held him in place. Crowley smirks at the memory of the last new angel— Damuel… Tamuel… something like that, he really didn’t care, but the look on their face was absolutely priceless.

It’s been a peaceful week so far— he’s taken the angel out for lunches and dinners at both old and new favorites, caused a bit of mischief by selling and trading old CDs that have been left in the Bentley for over a fortnight, picked up a vintage Buddy Holly record from a new shop for his angel, brought a few more of his plants over from his flat, and they’ve had no visitors to ruin their plans for around a week.

“New one, Angel,” Crowley calls over Everyday as it croons from the old gramophone, “should be coming off the zebra crossing in a mo.”

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Aziraphale wiggles excitedly, rising from his desk. He’d been getting a head start on his taxes and could use a break,“It’s a good thing I popped out to the shops earlier!”

“Had to restock your nibble supply so soon?” The demon teases fondly, Aziraphale hums in agreement.

“Anything for you, my dear?”

“Besides you?” Crowley purrs, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh hush, you insatiable serpent!” Aziraphale turns a fetching shade of pink, giggling as he makes his way to the kitchenette. “You know what I meant.”

“Could do with a couple of Jaffa cakes and coffee.”

“Of course, love.”

The angel has made it across the street and is currently fidgeting in front of the bookshop, Crowley knows since he’s been tracking their nervous movements for the past few minutes now, by the time Aziraphale comes back with a tray laden with one of his Wedgwood tea sets, a single sleek black coffee mug, and an impressive assortment of petits fours. The demon steals four of the mini chocolate covered cakes, stacking them like casino tokens, before Aziraphale has the chance to swat his hand away from the pile of treats until the newcomer arrives.

“Taking them a while, innit?”

“I suppose.” Aziraphale hums, handing Crowley his mug, “Do you think they’ll make it to the door before the tea grows cold this time?”

“They’ll come angel,” Crowley answers, adding wistfully, “they always do nowadays.”

He shifts over to make room for Aziraphale, the armchair expanding to accommodate both entities as the angel takes a seat, snuggling up against Crowley’s side, who in turn wraps an arm around the angel’s shoulders. When no comments or complaints are made by the demon, Aziraphale reverts the armchair back to its original size in order to get even closer. Crowley grunts softly as he repositions himself to be more comfortable while wedged between his angel and the arm of the chair.

“Hi, angel.”

“Hello, dear—“

A knock on the window, of all things, get their attention. Finally.

They sit dumbstruck for a second, the shared moment between two beings ruined, before Crowley snorts so hard into a laugh that it must hurt, prompting Aziraphale to laugh full-bellied at the truly ridiculousness of the situation. Heaven must be running out of new and competent angels to send if this is the best they can do at this point.

“The window, really?!” Crowley guffaws, trying to smother it into Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Oh, this should be good!”

“Behave, dearest,” Aziraphale swats at him on the arm, trying to get the demon to compose himself, knowing he’ll never stop laughing either if Crowley keeps going.

Crowley relents, but keeps snickering. A quick miracle reheats the tea and refills his coffee— a silent apology of sort— but one that is well worth it a thousand times over with the way Aziraphale beams at him. Each and every single thing Crowley’s ever done in his life to earn that smile has always been worth it, from the easiest things to the most risky. Aziraphale’s happiness is always worth it.

Even if that means adopting every hopeless angel that shows up on their stoop.

“Would you like to do the honors,” the poor armchair creaks in protest as Aziraphale moves to stand, tugging down waistcoat as he goes, “or should I?”

“Nah angel, don’t feel like initiating a possible smiting, you know how well that went last time I answered it first.”

Crowley had only answered the door for one of those naïve surveillance angels only once— and once is probably enough anyway considering how well it had gone. He’d only done it for a lark, not even expecting a fight to break out based on their experience with the previous lot, why would this one be much different? Well, even he admitted that it wasn’t his brightest idea as an unknown, though thankfully low rank, angel panicked after being confronted with their very first demon— and a decently powerful one at that if the rumors were true. The angel, being caught in fight or flight mode, inevitably choose fight, and gracelessly tackled Crowley to the ground— only to have the tables almost instantly turned on them by another higher ranking and seemingly vengeful angel. Crowley permits Aziraphale to do the talking in this situation, opting to remain sprawled out in the doorway like a welcome mat. He’s in the middle of contemplating his own idiocy— why did he even think that could have gone well? Though, granted it could have gone so much worse— when Aziraphale hauls his ass up and over to the couch. The conversation afterwards had been painfully awkward, but they still took that angel under their wings.

Aziraphale hurries over to the door as another knock rattles against the ancient windows.

“Ah! Just a minute!” Aziraphale clears his throat and smooths down his waistcoat again, getting rid of any wrinkles with a thought. He also notices Crowley reach into the inner pocket of his jacket for a pair of sunglasses and slips them on in one smooth motion.

The angel, Sabel, doesn’t even pretend to be human. It’s like Gabriel and the other heavenly twats didn’t even try to explain their mission and what they were supposed to be looking out for down here. Sabel even explains that they went to the wrong bookshop at first, “somewhere called Waterstones! Except there was no water or stones! There was just humans surrounded by books, which I thought was odd, but then I remembered that I was looking for a bookshop!”

Aziraphale and Crowley listen, each highly amused, while the celestial equivalent of a toddler hopped up on sugar recounts everything that’s happened to them from the time they stepped off of heaven’s lift. Aziraphale worries that adding actual sugar to the mix might cause an overload, but is too late as Sabel accepts a cup of tea and a small raspberry thumbprint shortbread. They’re so fond of the sweetness that they add eight more sugar cubes to their already sweetened tea when they find pleasure in the way it melts on their tongue. It’s quite impressive, or so Crowley thinks, that they don’t choke while gulping down more sugar than tea. Aziraphale tries not to let the offense of a long-time tea snob show too much on his face.

Two (retired) Earth agents look on in growing horror, they’ve created a monster in a record breaking eleven and a half minutes. Normally it took a lot more tempting for the angels to even consider partaking in any kind of ‘gross matter’, as they say.

“Thank you for the hospitality!” Sabel beams, adding meekly, “I’m not exactly sure what I should be supervising. I’m afraid I’m very new to this whole business.”

“You’re more than welcome to stay here for a while, until you acclimate to living on Earth, that is.” Aziraphale says, taking another sip of tea.

Crowley barely holds back a long-suffering groan. This is basically heaven’s version of what hell does with that disposal demon, Eric, he remembers distantly. The main difference being that hell just kills them as a form of crowd control and heaven seems to abandon these angels down on earth. Sure, he feels kind of bad for the poor beings, maybe feels a smidge of kinship due to heaven’s abandonment after these angels have been labeled as ‘corrupted’, in this case by experiencing Earth’s simple pleasures, but the responsibility of basically raising these angels for a life on Earth shouldn’t fall on him and Aziraphale. He guesses it’s just the Almighty’s form of a joke punishment and reward all wrapped into one package for averting Armageddon, but as long as Aziraphale’s willing to put up with it— so is he.

“Really?” Sabel’s eyes sparkle with excitement, “You mean I can stay in this place? On Earth? And I can keep enjoying these, what did you call them, bee sticks? I’ve never had a bee stick before, they must not be big up in heaven, but they’re so good!”

“Those are called biscuits, dear, and of course you can stay!” Aziraphale says, absolutely enthused to have found another angel who seems to delight in tasty baked goods like himself, “There’s a room upstairs that you—“

Crowley swiftly cuts him off, “A word with you, angel. In private.”

Aziraphale hesitates for a moment, “Ah yes, of course, my dear, um, we’ll be right back in a moment. You should try the pink lady apple tarts next, let me know what you think!” Aziraphale smiles warmly at the other angel before following the demon. Crowley’s already out of the back room and is holding the bedroom door open— impatient but dear as he waits for Aziraphale to enter first and following after.

“We can’t keep doing this.” Crowley says, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to stave off an impending headache.

“Oh come now, dearest, what’s the harm in one more?” Aziraphale pouts, turning pleading doe eyes towards his beloved demon.

They both know that Aziraphale’s playing dirty.

Crowley scowls, leaning back against the door in what he thinks is an uncaring gesture. He resists for as long as he can, which isn’t very long, before Aziraphale turns up the dial. The bastard even makes his eyes shine with I shed tears and let’s his lip wobble. He knew he never stood a chance against The Look, but at least he didn’t fold like a house of cards as easily this time. Aziraphale, however, smugly thinks otherwise.

“Fine.”

[fandom-scatteredthoughtsonpaper]

This post is about the culinary and beverages of the Devildom. Not all of the foods and drinks are listed, because I have left out the foods that are either in the apps or limited foods for Special Guest. I also probably missed some, so I guess I might update this post if I come across any.

>>Drinks:

-Juices 🧃

Mutated pomegranate juice (Apparently, good for your skin)

Hell lemon juice

Grudge juice

-Dairy 🥛

Hell milk (makes you grow in massive size)

-Coffee ☕

Hell coffee

Lament coffee

Ultra-carbonated death coffee

Frappucino:

Blushberry frappucino

Dark hell mocha chip cream frappucino

-Soda 🥤

Hell cola

Hell soda

Bloody soda

-Energy drinks

Centillion Buzz (highly potent and can raise the dead)

-Tea 🍵🧋

Hell tea

Hell lemon tea

Second flush Darjeeling tea

Cheshire Cat Grass Tea (Incredibly rare)

Types of bufo egg milk tea:

Bufo egg milk tea

Hell poison honey flavor

-Alcohol 🍶🍷

Cemetery tequila

Demonus: (many variations;; I didn't save those because I didn't think about Demonus having different types like editions or aging versions)

Cowboy Demonus

Blue Demonus

Red Demonus

Cocktails:

Siren's Song

>>Food:

-Appetizers and side foods 🍟🍟

Devil nuggets

Deep-fried devil zebra

666 french fries (not a size, that's the name)

Black tornado fries

Bat giblet saute

-Breads, burgers, and sandwiches 🍔🥪

Midnight biscuits

Double poison cheeseburgers

Gigadeath burger

4000-year-aged cheeseburger

Destroyed devil burger

Fried scorpion sandwiches with vinegar and tartar sauce

Black tapir sandwich

Devil ham sandwich

BLT Devil sandwich

Devildom-style vampire bat sandwich

Red spider sandwich

Hotter than hot toasted sandwich

-Veggies, fruits, and nuts 🥑🍒

Dark shadow sea cucumber

Poisoned hemlock

Flaming hot mushrooms

Glazed shadow chestnuts

Shadow banana

Shadow cherries

Wailing pepper

Bloody oranges

Bloody avocado

Hell lemons

-Devil crush (I don't know if these are a type of fruit or juice/drink, so it's getting its own segment)

Cherry

Watermelon

Mango

-Seafood 🍣🍣

Demonkiller remora meuniere

Hell tuna

Stonefish meuniere with Little Devil's white sauce

Live poison anglerfish (Be careful with that...)

Stuffed dark kraken

Types of sushi:

Shadow hog and devil salmon rolled sushi

Grilled vampire bat and bufo toad sushi

Devil zebra meat sushi

Devil moray sushi

-Soups 🍜🥣

Vjedogonian bile soup

Quetzalcoatl brains soup

Shadow viper soup

Shadow cream stew

Ramen:

Hell soy sauce flavored ramen cup

Vanilla pork fat seafood with extra devil's chili peppers ramen cup (What the actual hell, Mammon...)

Shadow miso ramen (packed with veggies!)

Quetzalcoatl brains flavored ramen cup

-Dips, sauces, and condiments 🍯

Hell poison honey

Demi-glace sauce

Blood chocolate sauce

Death's Door sauce

Death's Door hot sauce

Flamingo gecko sauce

Hellfire mushroom sauce

Sauce of the undead

Garlic anchovy dip (Eeewewew, understandable why Diavolo doesn't like it)

Purgatory mustard

Hell mustard

Shadow chestnut paste

Shadow wasabi

Revelation tomato puree

-Dinner foods 🍝🍛

Abyss slime pasta

Hellfire mushroom pasta

Shadow pork ragu pasta

Shadow goose meat and egg lasagna

Shadow hog meatballs

Mountain goat cheese pizza

Havoc devil ribs with bell peppers

Devil cabbage and shadow hog stir fry

Super spicy newt pot-au-feu

Grilled devil chicken over rice

-Dumplings 🥟🥟

Shadow hog dumplings

Midnight dumplings

Mandrake dumplings

Toxic shumai

-Pies, pastries, cakes, and sweets 🍡🥧

Hundred-eyed lizard pie

Hellfire mushroom pie

Hellfire chocolate pie

Bloody cherry pie

Sweet shadow-carred pie

Chocolate cursed smoked pie

Sorrowful black smoke chocolate pie

Cherry donuts

Demonus chocolate

Skull chocolate

Caramel shadow tart

Madam Scream's super sweet scones

Poison strawberry cheesecake crepes

Poison strawberry vile soultrap mille-feuille

Poison strawberry mille-feuille

Deadly poison strawberry shortcake

Poisonous cheesecake

Horror's Horror cheesecake

Angelic brownies

Poison strawberry pudding

Lunatic pudding

Aged magma butter cake

Ocean of clouds cake

Black cloud cake

Aquamarine cake

Cat's Eye cake

Cat's Eye chocolate cake

Demon eclairs

Underworld eclairs

Bloody Mont Blancs

Dragon's mark pie crust

Shadow croffles

Brimstone bavarian cream

Chocolate eggs with blood berry sauce

-Spices and powders

Indignation cinnamon

Corruption cardamom

Mandragora powder

Nightglow rosemary

-Junk foods and snacks 🍿🍫

Candy heart (Fizzes in your mouth)

Types of popcorn:

Tree sap popcorn

Lava salt popcorn

Magma butter popcorn

Death's Door popcorn

Devilbee popcorn

Fresh hell popcorn

-Simple foods

Pickled vampire bats

Blue rose crystal pickles

Chaos devil cider

Death scorpion syrup

Poison apple syrup

-Meats 🍖🥩

Smoked shadow hog

Flaming toad

Quetzalcoatl brains

Simmered behemoth's hind leg

Charred poison belly newt

Whole roast havoc devil

[amayavittori]

The one thing in life that pisses me off is guilt-tripping. Guilt-tripping has not ONCE worked on me, ever. In fact, it has warranted the most insane reactions I’d ever done on impulse. One time my dad asked me to go to the grocery store to get him a pack of zebra cakes, I said “oh yeah, just a sec, I need to submit this assignment.” And he went “wow, you’re so cold hearted. You won’t even do this one thing for me even though I’m tired from work.” I stopped what I was doing, looked up at him and went “Fine.” THEN I proceeded to choose a Walmart one hour away and purposely grabbed something similar but just off enough that it didn’t taste the same. He never tried to guilt me like that again.

Anyway, this is about some aggressively pathos piece of shit mail I got the other day telling me to vote against some people in North Carolina, trying to “warn” of something that could “affect children” and I opened it to see that it was a fucking anti-abortion propaganda pamphlet hoping to get some last minute votes for senate and whatnot. The thing really did its damndest to play into the “but think of the children 🥺” I am, and I think what’s best for the kids right now is to make sure that they choose spite over ever falling into pity party schemes and vote for assholes in elections. So that unfortunately means that I now gotta curse whoever is tryna throw Cheri, Lucy and Sam under the bus on the next blood moon eclipse for testing just how spiteful I can be for trying to trick me into doing what they want.

[lil-catty]

this is overly specific and i have no good reason for it but what is your favorite kind of desert/sweet thing to eat

this is really dumb but its zebra cakes

like the ones that you buy for your five year old at the store. idk what it is but im like a little bit addicted to them

[bishiglomper]

My body makes no goddamn sense

I ate a pack of zebra cakes for breakfast (noonish)

And then a little bit later i had coffee and 2 bologna sandwiches. Didnt take my medicine either

And i have a low??

W h a t

Why

Ugh

I thought i was anxious because i was running around in zelda and fight music was playing but i wasnt seeing anything. I thought that's why i was anxious. 😂

I think its so stupid that that particular low blood sugar symptom has the same flavor of anxiety as real anxiety like what kind of bullshit is that. You're not real, stfu.

I can't imagine if bro had this, he's already got chronic panic attacks. Bro would be mental if he had to deal with that bs too

[touch-my-noodles]

I'm high af rn and I become a food critic when im high. Here are my munchie ratings.*

First up, Pringles. We had a variety snack pack. I had 3 different flavors: original 3/10. they were so bland. Like eating thick paper with a dusting of salt. I would know I have eaten paper before. I was a child. Cheddar-6/10. If you're craving salt, this is for you. It tasted like salt and yellow flavoring. But somehow, it's still good. Sour cream & onion- 8/10. Such a classic. They executed this well. I love Sour cream. Can't have tacos without a shit ton of Sour.

Blue moon flavored ice cream 6/10. It says "a Midwest favorite with a unique flavor." I'm not from the Midwest and have never heard of it. I'm on the East Coast, and I've only seen it on the shelves at wally world for a couple of months. decided to try. It is the bluest of blues. In an ice cream???? Pretty but like why. Pretty sells. But it does have a unique indescribable flavor. Not a bad taste but wouldn't get again. I'll stick to my chery ice cream.

White rice- 7/10. Ive recently started cooking rice with broth flavor packets I steal from work. They have really good broth at the hospital. Maybe such a high rating because I cookwd it perfectly. So, it's not always a 7/10. The chicken flavor packet was amazing in it. And butter salt peper garlic powder was amazing.

Yall going to vomit on this one. cottage cheese and hot dogs. 9/10. BECAUSE ITS MY CHILDHOOD. I have no idea where this started. I've always liked cottage cheese and so did my mom. I like putting stuff in it. Tomatoes fruit and yes hot dogs... was this a struggle food?

Toll house cookie dough (raw and baked)-9/10. So good. We always followed the toll house chocholate cip cookie recipe and it just doesn't taste like the store bought toll house. So what im saying is its better than my moms. But also like it's toll house recipe vs it store bought. Something tells me they ain't telling the truth and they make you buy the store stuff. Ugh a still warm cookie with milk.

Chocolate fudge pop tart (toasted)- 4/10. The first thing I thought was "wow this be dry". I don't normally buy pop tarts. I like to get thing I domt normally do because like I said I'm a food critic when I'm high. The fudge filling is pretty good. The crunch of the frost is nice I always like a crunch. But that crust is so dry. Use milk with this one

Little Debbie Zebra Cakes-4/10. Normally I like these. I steal them from my husband all the time. Now, while high they taste so difffent. They taste so artificial. Like the outside fudge tastes like artificial sweetener. The cake doesn't have flavor and is like sand.

Water - 10/10. Drink up. Stay hydrated, my friends. Ily

*not all eaten today