#its literally everything i hate

[tinyspringtrap]

ugh I’m still upset about this stupid fucking drawing tablet

rant incoming. gets personal. life shit. its not really about the drawing tablet.

I hate this stupid fucking thing so much. I’ve never before in my life had something give me an actual, genuine meltdown, but this tablet??

every time I try to open this thing and give it a chance it just pisses me off - half because of the tablet itself and half because... I pretty explicitly said I didn’t want a drawing tablet, and then I got one anyways :/

and it’s not even one I would pick out - it’s fucking horrendously overcomplicated, has too many fucking buttons on it for a drawing surface, it comes with a bunch of random pieces that I cannot figure out what the hell they’re supposed to do - AND. AND. the charging cord. plugs into the right hand side of the tablet. where I would be drawing. who the fuck designed this piece of shit? I would never willingly buy this thing. I don’t NEED ~*professional grade*~ I just need something that functions and isn’t stupidly overcomplicated.

It’s not a very good gift if the person explicitly says they don’t want it. Idk. call me ungrateful or w/e if you want but the tablet combined with the fact I also got a coffee maker (????) just kinda. further made me feel like people don’t really care a lot about what I wanted. 

it’s... not a new feeling. and I don’t get it, because pretty much everything on the wishlist I sent was cheap and/or something I would have gotten real use or joy out of. I don’t think I got a single thing that I actually... enjoyed, in any capacity, from my mom or grandparents. meanwhile I bought things that catered to what they enjoyed - they might not have /needed/ any of it, but they were all things based on what they enjoy and/or wanted. like it’s just.

it’s like they went out of their way to get me things I explicitly said i didn’t want. like it would have genuinely been easier to just. buy a small handful of the plushtoys i wanted - it would have made me a lot happier too. I don’t need or like expensive gifts.

I think it really says a lot when my narcissistic aunt who I can barely stand to be around because she’s fucking terrible got me a better, more thought out gift that fit with the kind of things I actually wanted.

You know what she got me? a 20$ mug with a cat and a funny saying on it. and that was a far more enjoyable gift to open then half the things I actually received from my mom and grandparents. 

I’ve asked now for so many years in a row to NOT get pajama pants because I literally have too many and I keep getting them anyways. shirts would be nice, some pajama shorts/capris for summer would be super useful and appreciated because I literally have like 1, maybe 2, pajama bottoms for summer

sometimes I wonder why they even tell me to send them a list anymore, it’s not like they buy anything I would actually enjoy having. and it’s not like it’s 100% stuffed animals or anything either?? like I have underwear in there that i like, that would be cool and rad and helpful to receive. I have mugs and kitchenware that I like - I have shirts that come in my size, I have bras that come in my size in there.

but i keep getting things that I have never shown interest in or have outright verbalized disinterest in.

and like. I expected that from my grandparents. it’s been pretty clear for a while now who the favourite grandchild is. it’s no secret that my grandpa hates my biological father with a burning passion and its pretty obviously effected his view on me my entire life.

but idk, it just kinda hurt in a whole new way to have my mom be so clearly dismissive of my wants too. 

you’d think i’d be tougher after being emotionally and psychologically abused for more than half my life by a shitty excuse for a stepfather but here we are.

really wish he would have just beat me more instead of fucking with my emotional and psychological wellbeing. at least if he just beat the shit out of me more I might not be as deeply convinced I was undeserving of love and incapable of trusting people to have genuine good intentions when it comes to wanting to know me.

also if he’d beat me more often I might’ve been able to get someone to actually help me maybe instead of being laughed at by a guidance counsellor for opening up about the incredible levels of abuse because ‘hitting your children occasionally isn’t abuse’ 

anyways. listen. listen it is such a small fuckign thing, it’s such a small thing but receiving one of the items on my list just once would make me so happy. it would make me feel heard. it would make me feel like my wishes mattered and i was deserving of the things i want. it would make me feel like ppl cared about what i want when i have been told for so many years that they dont. 

I hate that my mental health is so ruined. I hate that I will never get over any of the shit i was told time and time again as a child about how i dont deserve things and im subhuman and dont matter. i wish i could juist function mentally like a normal person who hasn’t been abused god i wish i could i really do.

but this shit sticks with you, forever. I’m never going to get over it im never going to be able to escape it all i can do is try my best to deal with it. i shouldnt fucking have to. i shouldnt have to fucking suffer for the rest of my life because someone decided to emotionally and psychologically destroy a child but i do.

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

[shortmexicangirl]

she wrote some of the most romantic lyrics of all time about him and now has to sing them 3x a week for the next 5 months??? i would simply Cancel The Whole Tour

[theguffbin]

I did the thing

the horrible wretched thing

it breathes out of spite for god and smells of diseased moss and I hope it brings nothing but suffering and eight crazy nights bon appetit dork @akanemnon

[thrumbolt]

Sometimes I forget why exactly I disliked ACOMAF as much as I did and then I see a random quote and am instantly reminded.

This is exactly the type of gaslighting that this book does that annoyed me so. fucking. badly.

'All he'd wanted to do wasn't free me, but fuck me' - ah yes, because it totally wasn't her who went for his pants first.

'He hadn't tried to kill her, hadn't crawled for me'

Excuse me? He crawled as he was bleeding out from a chest wound, still tied up. Not to mention he DID kill Amarantha in the end. (Also he couldn't kill her before, because that's how magic bonds work - none of the high lords could lift a finger against her. There was literally nothing he was able to do).

Also it makes no SENSE for Feyre to be resentful of Tamlin not rescuing her all of a sudden? Tamlin saved her already by returning her to the human realm. SHE returned to fight and die for him. She KNEW she'd most likely die but she was there to rescue HIM. It's not like she got kidnapped by Amarantha and he just watched, no she came to die for him. It's kind of weird to blame him for not getting her out when she came in to get HIM out.

So yeah, ACOMAF is awful in this regard and I just don't get it. It would have been quite easy and possible to make Feyre realize that Tamlin isn't right for her without literally making shit up about him that conflicts with book one.

[comics-centalx]

Ok. I just need to take a moment and say I absolutely love how Wally's reactions while dodging an alien hurtling towards him out of his 𝘞𝘐𝘍𝘌'𝘚 mouth are normal, but then his finishing expression and pose is like a Greek statue.

His face just goes from pure shock to ✨𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤✨.

Honestly, it gives me "I want you to draw me like one of your French girls" vibes.

Don't even get me started on Dick's reaction, lmao.

[spirk-trek]

i never had a problem with (and even kinda liked) aos until i started trying to read fanfic and every "tos" fic is secretly about chris pine and my brain has to reboot without warning

[bananonbinary]

somewhat kicking a bees nest here, but hear me out-

"homemade and handcrafted goods should cost hundreds and even thousands of dollars" is why attaching a monetary value to esoteric concepts like "time" and "skill" (and, you know, "a human being") is a bad system.

now, before the pitchforks come out, i am not bitching because i want a handcrafted quilt for $20. i do recognize that it would be unbelievably unfair to the quilter. but like...doesn't that sound obscene? that we live in a system where things that used to be pretty mundane are now only available to the upper class, or the creator just fucking dies? where in order for someone to make anything artistic, they need to be independently wealthy or ONLY cater to wealthy people?

again, i am not suggesting that artists should sell me their shit at a horrific loss. im not really suggesting any solution at all here, we're between a bit of a rock and a hard place. but it feels really inherently fucked up to me that the only options are "Artists taken advantage of" and "only rich people get art."

anyways, UBI huh

[fearmeeeee]

edit

[disguisedcheezed]

it's so funny to me when people just believe that john is straight because he said "i'm not a homosexual" once because

1. you are believing the words of a 13 yr old who was 12 the day before.

2. people forget that he's 13 when he said that, and that he is not old enough for a proper romantic relationship.

3. john egbert doesn't think. in fact, he'd rather not AT ALL. like. EVER.

4. why would he think about ever liking a girl? can't he just say it out right if he does?

also, this part in a nutshell:

karkat: DO YOU WANNA BE IN A RELATIONSHI-

john: i am not a homosexual. 👍

5. god king of repression had you fooled FOOL.

and the most ironic part is that it's the same shit homophobic parents say like "yeah, but when you were 13 you said you liked girls soooo"

[dreemurr-skelememer]

I'm gonna be anonymous when I say this because I have seen this done by many people... I strongly dislike the "Error and Nightmare gang are the good guys and trying to make the universe stable while The star sanses are the idiots who will not see reason" .. Like... I .. really? I'm not sure if the reason why I don't like it is because I have seen it so many times or what but it annoys me dearly. The members of the star sanses are reasonable and they are just often made as one sided ignorant people- I mean okay Lets go on the different pov, on the bad sanse side: You see them risk their lives every day getting themselves hurt over and over again all to defend different worlds for the sake of bringing what they believe to be peace and you label them as the fools who just want all the glory- really??? people who get hurt over and over again just do it for that stupid reasons??? I mean come on! Seeing as generally it is shown that the bad sanses want peace as well why not be trying to reach an agreement??? you fight over and over again and you couldn't even be bothered to try and reach their heads to finally listen to what you are saying like what "in a way" dream has done with nightmare countless times but they cant do the same? Just have them fight knowing that the other side are in the wrong and you choose to do nothing but break them?? Like is this your pride or something?? Why are they labelled as good guys yet they allow the other side to fight to their deaths with a good motive in mind but they only lack the full picture?? How am i suppose to "root for you" if this is what you do????? We get inside information of how peaceful they are and how they care for each other deeply, but if you care so much for each other why would you allow the other side to keep fighting your loved ones when they are missing the big picture, you know the big picture yet you say... NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH!! you cannot tell me that they don't listen to you when you barely speak up about the true issue or find a way to show them- you maybe say it once or twice in the whole story and then any other time you go straight to fighting or just avoid them.. COWARDS!! ALL OF THEM!! And in these stories the star sanses always state their reasons for their interference yet you cannot tell them why you are doing this?? All that comes out your mouth are insults and sneers, who would want to believe you when that is all the comes out of your MOUTHS... Excuse me... Just pissed sorry for the long rant.. Oh my gosh AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON DREAM AND NIGHTMARE, DUDE YOU GOT THE BALLS TO BLAME YOUR KID BROTHER FOR BEING A KID AND NOT RECOGNISING YOUR TRAUMA EVEN NOW AS YOU ARE MUCH MORE MATURE AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO REALIZE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BOTH AS CHILDREN????? Is he the one holding onto the past or is it you??? Night is always depicted as the dadmare, boss, the caring lover, the brother yet he doesn't even have the decency to face the fact he abandoned his brother in stone for 500 years or so, when he comes out you automatically hate him for something he had no idea or control of and choose to ignore his pleads, when your brother wants to reach you, you break him over and over again not wanting him in your life ever again when as i said before he was your "KID BROTHER" and you want to tell me your the good one for just wanting to cut him off with no answers or anything? You gotta be pulling my leg bro... and it would be a different story if the dreamtale background is different but no! it isnt! nothing is said to make it seem dream was an abuser of sorts, they were both hurt and yet you blame dream for all of it you have a whole ass support system yet that is your mindset??? I cant.... I really cant Uh sorry again for this long ass rant though =w=

anon our souls are holding hands resonating as one

my two cents on this (that isn't something i said. a million times before already) is that it's usually because people refuse to see the star sanses in the same light they do the bad sanses the people who actively dislike the star sanses and what they do usually do so because they can't relate to them, from what i've noticed

the bad sanses are easier to root for because of the fact that they are made of struggle and the dirty, gritty parts of morality and life so to say it's easier to think of good things in the middle of so much bad, because it's in our nature as people to look for hope or root for the good, no matter how little it is having the ability to look for goodness and love in so much evil is a form of love in of itself everybody struggles and life sucks and sometimes the world is evil and sometimes we do bad things, but that's the thing, the fact that we as people find something good in the middle of it all (like finding familial love bloom in the bad sanses, as an example) is very inspiring. at least to me!!! that's how i see it!!!! that's how i like to think people see it as well because that's how i see and enjoy them together so i can totally see why people find more relatability and love for the bad sanses. i really do get it and i agree!! like a lot!!!!! i love them too

but that exact reason is also why it really sucks that people just don't see the star sanses in the same light?

i wanna reemphasize my point in relatability: it's difficult for most people to relate to the star sanses because inherently they are the heroes, the protagonists, the main characters, because nobody are any of those things i feel like people often put them on a pedestal because of their central tropes and characteristics. they have it all already, they don't need more praise, right?

i think the biggest problem people have with the star sanses, like your whole ramble very clearly shows, is that they don't humanize them i feel like a lot of people assume that just because they are good and choose to be good and are praised for being good, they are unreachable people don't think they struggle. that it sucks being that.

it's often why i like writing the star sanses with so much struggle and so much mental illness lol, because being good is fucking HARD and they're as imperfect as everybody else. dream is anxious, ink is brash, blue is a workaholic, stuff like that

there's a lot to say but it's just....the bad sanses and the star sanses are two sides of the same coin. the bad sanses is finding good in the middle of, basically, evil and misdeed the star sanses is finding struggle in the middle of trying to do good

people often portray both of them black and white morals and it's why it gets frustrating and flat and badly written.

idk, just like how i find inspiration in the bad sanses of finding hope and love in the middle of darkness, i really admire the implications of the star sanses when you actually decide to humanize them. because if you make the star sanses struggle throughout their praise, glory, and righteousness, it's...really admirable that they still choose to do good.

like you said, the star sanses risk their lives often and fight, offering treaties and agreements, just to make things right that's so??? admirable????? like for the amount of times the bad sanses fucking fight them, i genuinely would've just given up completely, but they just....don't??? and that's so admirable and sweet? it makes them so deserving of their titles as guardians.

idk!!! this is a massive ramble too, i don't even know where i was going with it but like, yeah, i think i wanted to talk mostly about why people preferred the bad sanses over the star sanses and how it makes me sad i get you anon. with my whole body and my whole soul. i understand what you mean and i see you

[dhmis-autism]

Hey hello!

Here are some colored doodles of the fun little DHMIS bodyswap idea thought up by the very fun, very smart @escargon! I did them way back when and wanted to finish them up to add to the fun lol.

It was sooo much fun to draw and I hope I made it clear whos who by the body language/dialogue but if not! I put a helpful little diagram in there. Also,as well, I think if Duck had access to a relatively-normal sized body like Reds’ that duckman is dressing up and NO ONE can stop him. So that’s the last two.

[grzybjek]

Stuff that I wont finish and doodles that arent worth posting on instagram. Enjoy these tumblr i love tumblr

[smilesrobotlover]

Ok this has been bothering me all day. I saw a post talking about how Rauru and Sonia did more for Zelda than Rhoam did and… I’m once again going to defend Rhoam, cuz that’s a very unfair thing to say and a horrible comparison to make.

Rauru and Sonia helped Zelda with her time powers and learning about the secret stone. Rhoam didn’t help her with her sealing power. Why? Cuz he has no magic and he clearly wasn’t the one who had it. Her mother was the one who had the power and was the one to teach her. Rhoam had no idea what he was doing, he didn’t understand the magic, and he hoped that if she dedicated her life that it would awaken so that the calamity wouldn’t destroy their home.

Well he should’ve tried to help her anyways right? Well, yes it’s easy to say that, unfortunately Rhoam was put in a very bad position of being king with the looming threat of the APOCALYPSE!!!! I think it’s implied that Rhoam married into the family, since his wife had the sealing power from the blood of the goddess or whatever, and seeing how he’s Hylian, he wasn’t a prince from another kingdom since all other kingdoms in this world have small round ears. For all we know, he was a prince consort who was never raised to be king. We don’t know what he was doing before, but with his wife’s sudden death and the responsibility of protecting his kingdom, he didn’t make the right choices. Which isn’t an excuse, but in his position, it’s an explanation. Rauru and Sonia didn’t have an apocalypse threatening to happen, in fact, they were in an era of peace and the future seemed bright. Of course they had time to hang out with Zelda and have tea parties with her. They seemed to be relaxed and having fun, which makes sense seeing how there didn’t seem to be much of a threat to their kingdom, minus Ganondorf, but I don’t think either of them saw him as a huge threat, seeing how they were absolutely blindsided by him.

It’s implied in AOC that Rhoam shouldered all of the responsibilities of the kingdom, and it seemed that he was under a significant amount of pressure during the calamity. And I feel like he mostly did that so Zelda could focus on awakening her power. She didn’t seem to have many responsibilities as princess save for awakening her power and helping out the champions. She is barely 17 so it makes sense that she’s not ruling the kingdom, but I do feel like Rhoam did all that stuff so she could focus on the calamity itself. And I’m sure in his stress he grew frustrated whenever Zelda focused more on the machines than awakening her power. Which was not the right thing to do, but come ON the world is literally about to end and the ONLY piece of the puzzle they need is Zelda!!! Some people forget that she HAD to awaken her powers otherwise the world was going to be destroyed! And it almost was cuz they were awakened too late! They were in such an unfair situation! And it’s not fair to compare him to Rauru and Sonia who were not in the same situation he was in, who were lying around in the grass and drinking tea because the calamity wasn’t there.

Rhoam is such a well written character that acts the way you’d expect someone in his situation to act. And he has so much regret over some of the things he’s had to do to protect Hyrule. You can read it in his journal where he finally gives up and desires to act more like a father to Zelda, you can see it when he takes Terrako away from Zelda, and you can see it when he’s a ghost 100 years after everything is destroyed. He’s so guilty but he did what he thought was best so that Zelda could not have a throne to nothing, so that Hyrule will be safe. And there’s a lot of things he could’ve done better, but people don’t act rational under that much stress. Like come on, would you? Don’t lie you absolutely wouldn’t.

And this post isn’t meant to diss on Rauru and Sonia, I like them in their own ways. But it’s kinda dumb whenever people love complex characters and then turn around and hate on characters like Rhoam and make them completely one-dimensional when they’re not. Y’all are completely unfair to Rhoam.

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

[stafsar]

L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time.

I had a bookcover design assignment so obviously I chose @devilinthebox's literary masterpiece of a fanfic Our Bodies, Possessed by Light