#its my art. im allowed to be angry about it

[sadmages]

is it really surprising that people tag their fandom blorbo on the fandom blorbo website? soup store sells soup. i get how it could be frustrating as i also post art that gets mislabeled and it does make my eye twitch sometimes but it’s ultimately harmless and sorta expected on a fandom site

It's harmless until every single time I post art of this character it gets mistagged as j*n s*ms and it makes me not want to draw my oldest oc ever again <3

It is also not hard to read the description of a post or the tags of a post and see that hey actually this is not about your blorbo. Anyway I'm not like. Discoursing about this it's my art that I put time into and I'm allowed to be annoyed

[gayemoji]

uterus trauma pt. 347

[fanaticsnail]

Restrained

Masterlist Here

Word Count: 1,300+

Synopsis: Eustass Kid didn't know what possessed him to allow his lover to restrain him against his Captains' chair. But yet, here he is: stuck and loving it.

Themes: MDNI, smut, established relationship, Sub!kid x Dom!reader, gn!reader, nipple play - Kid receiving, untouched reader, untouched Kid.

Notes: I don't know why I needed to do this, but I did. He's just crept up on me. Send help. Something about large, powerful men being made to squirm. Art link.

Tag list: @sordidmusings @since-im-already-here @feral-artistry @gingernut1314 @carrotsunshine

Eustass Kid's eyes widened, his muffled voice growling past the material of the woven gag. Saliva coated his chin, his red paint far from present within the boarder lines of his lips. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he continued to strain against the seastone cuffs that bound his ankles to the chair legs.

Woven rope cinched tightly beneath his armpits, his right arm was bound to the backrest of the chair, while his stumped left was coiled tightly and restrained against the side of the chair.

Why did he agree to this again? What was the safety signal again? He just felt helpless, small, stuck - restrained.

As his eyes met with yours, your wicked smile crept up to decorate your face with suggestive intent. Your fingertips gently traced his scarred cheek, trailing down his jaw to brush lightly against his clavicle bone. As your fingertips trailed delicately lower against his chest, he writhed beneath your hand as it barely skimmed over his left nipple.

His belt buckle jingled as he attempted to greedily seek your touch where he desperately craved it. The waistband of his decorative pants and underwear fell further down his knees to pool at his boot-covered feet. The swollen tip of his angry cock throbbed, twitching in anticipation as it stood alert to receive its orders.

You remained fully clothed, your smile now softening into a small smirk. Your thumb casually traced over his left nipple once more, watching as Kid mewled within his gag and arched his back. His eyes widened further in shock as the first few droplets of pearly precum gathered in the slit of his cock.

This was the first time you had suggested such a thing: finally being the one in control for once. After much negotiating, and back and forth with what exactly that means, Kid agreed to be a willing puppy and accept all that he was given by your hands.

And what he was given was shibari restraint within his Captains’ chair, a gag thrust in between his lips, seastone cuffs attached to his ankles and a verbal reminder that, should he ever wish to stop, he was to tap his right heel three times firmly on the floor.

“Does that feel good, big guy?” you purred your sultry whisper into his left ear, “Like feeling my fingers on your sensitive nipples?”

Flicking your thumb over his left nipple, you began to focus your attention on his right: pinching it lightly between your index and middle finger. In scissoring motions, you rolled the tender skin between your secondary knuckles: always gentle, always soft, always tender.

Kid was panting heavily now, brows knit in a deep furrow with sweat pooling beneath the band of his blast goggles. Scrunching his eyes tightly shut, his black eyeliner began to smudge with a mixture of glassy tears at the stimulation he was and wasn't receiving.

The dance of his untouched cock bobbing in the air, veins pulsating with desire, held your attention for a moment: debating whether you should pay the poor, neglected boy some attention. Your smile widened as you chose to continue your negligence, focussing solely on his nipples.

You straddled his lap, hooking your thighs over his knees and intentionally keeping any stimulus away from his needy cock. He cried out in muffled desperation, opening his tightly scrunched eyes and begging you with his accusatory gaze.

The twitch of his knob enchanted you, watching as the blood rush deepened the hue and had his breath hitching.

“Am I not treating you well?” you taunted him with a mocking pout, “Too much and too little all at once?”

He bobbed his head frantically, his mind dizzy with the focus of his sensation being so far from his cock. He truly did not understand why this zone of his body had the pit of his stomach coiling within his belly, his balls sucked up deep within his stomach and the tip of his cock twitching like he was about to explode.

“You think this is too much,” you commented in a low hum, “Just wait until you feel this.”

Leaning down, you licked a clean stripe with the tip of your tongue down his left pectoral, rolling his right nipple within your thumb and index finger as you thumbed over his left. He mewled, keening and whimpering like a needy puppy as he tucked his head into his shoulder to avoid your eyes.

His breath hitched, his cock straining as his mind fogged. Your flattened tongue ground itself against the sensitive nub of his left nipple, before you swirled the tip in skillful circles. He honestly felt like the pit in his stomach was about to burst. He clamped his eyes shut once more, blood flooding to his cheeks: dusting his skin with a warm hue of vibrant red.

Tugging and sucking at the flesh had him writhing in his seat: gyrating, thrusting, and circling to attempt to rub his touch-starved cock against any surface to provide it stimulus. You giggled against his flesh before vibrating a hum into his peaked nipple.

He almost forgot how to breathe, the feelings were too overwhelming for him to process. You released his nipple from your mouth with an overemphatic ‘pop’, Kid’s eyes reopening to meet his whisky-hue orbs with your own. His irises were almost completely missing, the dark onyx of his pupils claiming dominance against his eyes.

Floating your eyes between his own, briefly fluttering down to his gagged mouth, you leaned forward and pressed a small kiss against his lips. The kiss was chaste, his lips barely being able to meet with your own beneath the woven gag. Pulling away, you smiled at him while still flicking at his right nipple.

Without tearing your eyes from his, you leant down to his left nipple once more. Kid held his breath, fully expecting you to toy with him with your lips and tongue. What you did instead was lean forward, hover your lips in a perfect circle, and blew a lengthy breath of cold air against the saliva coated surface of his left nipple.

The band snapped within his stomach; the sudden shocked arrival of an unsuspecting orgasm erupting from the swollen tip of Kid’s impressive cock had his voice crying out for you. You pulled away from his nipples, sensing a twitch in his thigh that only ever occured when he was about to explode in passion.

Thick ropes of his cum spent itself on his stomach, smaller squirts of pearly, translucent droplets spurted within the air and coated his pubic hair at the base of his shaft. His thick, red pubic hair was marked by his sticky cum: coating each strand with his passionate release.

Cries of his bliss were caught within the material of the saliva-dampened gag, halting the true sobs and whimpers he was desperately screaming in gratitude to you. Your shock was evident in your eyes, a surprised smile swelled up to your cheeks as you watched this impressively larger man become undone without any stimulus to his quivering cock.

Huffing and panting, the final spurts of his spend leaked from his shiney tip, pooling down his velvety shaft with several whimpering twitches. You cooed at him in awe, softly pressing a small kiss against the apple of his cheek as you halted the pressure on his nipples.

“Aww, that was so cute!” you chirped at him, his eyes snapping open with his brows triangulating in the center of his forehead, “You wanna do it again?”

His right heel bounced frantically against the floor, indicating in panic that he was completely and totally unprepared to have that occur again. You giggled with your head nodding, hands presenting your palms upwards in defense before removing the gag from your lover’s lips.

“Okay, big guy,” you smiled at him, tugging down the material and shimmying it down his chin, “How do you feel?” you caressed his cheeks, pressing gentle kisses against his temple and forehead.

“Like I-...” he choked on his words, glancing down at the mess coating his lap and chair, “...like I shouldn't have liked that as much as I did.”

[lilybug-02]

The HK comic was very sweet and wholesome and I loved every second of reading it! :3

Also does Dewi give hornet back her thread? Im pretty sure she needs that for silksong when that eventually releases lol

Also to go off on an unrelated tangent/rant, people have been supposedly like up in arms about how "Silksong will never release!" and how "Its taking FORVEVER to come out!" But like.... First of all, its and indie studio. Secondly It was only announced in 2019, which, yeah, was 5 years ago, but with the way people were describing it I thought it was announced like way earlier. And hollow knight was released in 2017, but the way people talk about it makes me think its like a classic from early 2000's or something. Sure, its a good game, but why are people so stuck on the Silksong thing? Like at least you're pretty sure you're probably gonna get a full game when it releases. With other communities/fandoms you'd be lucky to get even an announcement. Like Deltarune for example. Not even Toby Fox was sure he was gonna be able to do it in the first place lol. And if you think 5 years is bad of a wait, imagine waiting for a new LITERALLY ANYTHING WHATSOEVER from Bethesda that isnt the 100th re-re-release gold ultra plus edition of fucking Skyrim again but now on the fucking smart watch or whatever. I'm 90% sure that most of Bethesda's existance as a company has been spent making something for Skyrim instead of working on anything new or original.

Sorry for the random rant btw

Anyways love your art, have a nice day, kay bye imma go die of awkwardness in the corner :)

First off thank you very very much. I am so glad to hear how much you like the Hollow Knight comic. And to answer your question, Hornet allowed Dewi to keep that thread. She gave it to him as a peace offering for helping the bugs get back home and to lead Dewi through the maze like cave. Don't worry, she has PLENTY of thread back in Hallownest.

And regarding the impatience of Silksong. I get it. I am the very lucky few to get into the game NOW. I haven't had to wait as long as the many other people waiting for Silksong to release, and in that regard I am quite spoiled. Yeah, Deltarune won't fully release in at least another 5 years, but I wouldn't want to say I'm morally better for my "patience". Waiting for a game or any kind of media SUCKS. The fandom keeps it alive, but even those can grow stagnant. As long as you aren't harassing the creators or fans of the project, you can be as angry or frustrated or sad as you want. I think it's normal and can help others feel less alone in their feelings as well.

Not to say your points of contention above aren't relevant!!! Patience and kindness are always important to keep in mind with artistic projects. Art is HARD and can be very taxing. I hope I'm not dampening your message. ❤️ Thanks for sharing

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[joesalw]

putting this here bc this blog feels like a safe space as a someone whos always been very critical of taylor despire also loving her art… plus im far too afraid to put this on main so :/

i remember back in 2023 when the whole matty ratty thing was going on, and as a jewish fan i felt completely disgusted she would even allow someone so gross and bigoted into her life. i was part of the #speakupnow campaign with other fans, i felt so desperate to make it all end and for her to condemn that man… but she didn’t. she only distanced herself. i was at least partially satisfied she stopped associating with him, and i still considered myself a fan for that reason, but the pain i felt of betrayal to her most marginalised fans never really went fully away no matter how much i tried to stuff it down.

flash forward to now. i was ready for this album, excited even to get new music, only to receive a disjointed wreck of an album that was largely defending a relationship with a neonazi freak. i feel stunned and angry. i was already growing a dislike towards her because of the whole billionaire/ecoterrorist/politically silent thing but i told myself i can still like the music and be critical or her actions at the same time. now i’m not so sure i feel that way anymore. i feel ashamed and stupid and lied to. i spent so much time and money on her only for her to continue to lowkey simp for a racist misogynistic weirdo on top of all the other shit??? idk.

i feel like i’m looking for validation from others my anger and hurt is justified, that its okay to change my mind about taylor swift, that i can still acknowledge the positive impact her art had on me and not want to support the current path shes on right now because it is hurting people and i can’t stand by and watch any longer or else i’m complicit, that i can grieve the trust i put in her to be a better person that she’s been acting like in the past year or so. i hope this ask is of no bother to you, i just saw your ex swifties tag and felt like maybe this would be a good time to speak my truth.

Your anger and hurt is completely justified, the main purpose of my ex swiftie tag is for this discussion. We are all feeling the same resentment towards her. And it's valid because we wasted so much time loving her and defending her and now it's like she's completely a different unrecognizable person, a person that's doing everything against the things she once she stood for. You may call this being parasocial but she's to be blamed for that for deliberately creating this parasocial relationship with her fans. Like dropping easter eggs, secret sessions, clues about exes, sharing diary pages etc etc as a marketing scheme to profit her branding.

[sweetsummercourier]

I am legitimately curious and would like some input - AOT Fandom

I have rarely ever interacted with the Attack on Titan fandom, but this anime/manga has been a huge part of my life since i was like 13 and I want to hear from some fans.

So to put it out there: Im not a fan of EreMika. I have my reasons and its my opinion, but Ive never been against people who ship it (which I know a lot do). Ship whoever you want, yknow? However its because of this ship and how some fans are very very protective of it that I feel the need to ask this question.

How does the fandom feel about oc/canon pairings with Eren especially? Ive finished the show and manga, and I've been wanting to do things with my little pairing with my oc that Ive had for years, but the fandom and shippers have, quite frankly, given me so much anxiety that even though I know im allowed to enjoy things and do my own thing, the idea of people getting very upset and angry genuinely upsets me.

I wanna do art, I wanna write fanfics and short stories and stuff, and Id love to post them but I genuinely want to know others thoughts. Call me sensitive, but I want to be able to share the things I love and make me happy too, like everyone else :)

Feel free to comment, send me an ask, or DM me! I really wanna hear from yall

[heroicleader2763]

hello! this is a bfdi pin rp/askblog [mostly rp] ran by a pin fictkin. this blog is packed with my own headcanons, so it may feel "canon non-compliant" at times. it also implements things from other bfdi AUs such as fear garden, so a headsup for that!

───//───

you need a heroic leader like me!! ★ ☆

📌 — she/they/he ; non-binary butch lesbian ⚢ 📌 — autistic ♾︎ ; she also Types Weird. it's Analogous to her Accent! 📌 — location is at the tpot hotel ; timeline is ambiguous mostly but its supposed to be post-tpot ↳ for other rp blogs: no need to worry about timeline divergences! ill gladly shatter time and space to interact with other objects <3 uses signoff "— 📌" 📌 — sometimes coiny shows up, say hi to him when he's here! uses signoff "— 🪙"

[CURRENT APPEARANCE] <- this changes as the main roleplay progresses! [TIMELINE OF EVENTS] <- confused? want to know what in the world is currently happening in this whole mess? this [un]comprehensive summary of important events is for you! ───//───

ask rules aareee.. none! well, not for now. magic anons allowed, creepy ass questions with no context allowed, etc etc! i also may not reply to asks sometimes for various reasons — usually i either genuinely dont know how to respond to it, don't want to, or im saving it for another time also please start OOC questions with "OOC:" at the start or anything similar! i get confused at times and may respond it in-character

───//───

canon pairs ♡

; leafpin — romantic [-> @leafyztar] ↳ evie x pin.. eviepin? pinevie? — big fat crush, one-sided mess. evil yuri ; coinpin — queerplatonic partners & romantic exes, roommates [most objects still mistake them as romantic whoops.] ↳ snowcoin & fireoiny — implied romantic, pin is unaware ; sawty — romantic

notable objects ⭒

; gaty & saw — close friends [-> @littlegrayzigzag8] ; price tag — friends! [-> @priceless-taggy] ; pin jr. — sisters [-> @mini-leafster] ; leafy jr. — "daughter" [-> @mini-leafster] ; "the scarlet" — ally [-> @thescarlet-gardener] ; needle — half-sisters ; book — friends

───//───

tags ↓

; #asks — answers, etc. ; #stuff — pin rambles ; #info — interests, general information, etc. ; #lore — related to bfdi canon/relationships w other objects ; #doodles — in & out of character drawings, doodles etc. ; #fanart — art related to the blog, made by you guys! ; #rbs — in-character reblogs ; #ooc — out of character posting/answers, etc. ; #pinned — misc. blog info that i cant fit in the pinned post ; #coin creature — coiny posts ; #scarlet — she is a bit relevant

formatting ↓

; plain — average pin text. she doesnt bother to color her text ; [text] — thoughts, muttering, commenting or action ; -text- or *text* — action

; small — whispering or muttering ; [small] — quiet commenting or onomatopeia ; -small- or *small* — onomatopeia

; orange — it's coiny! ; red — angry emphasis or scarlet

blog ran by @ohmysheetmetal [likes come from @dlnorampage] ♪

[coolsosha]

50 SHADES OF ASMO??? INTO THE ASMOVERSE??? 100 AND 1 ASMO?

Dunno about u, but I think thats veeery cool when artists make smol changes to the character they draw. And thats very interesting to see how different people see the same character! ♡

Sooo Sosha drew some sketches with 5 different Asmodeus designs.

IF U ARE ONE OF THOSE UNLUCKY PEOPLE WHO I TAGGED IN HERE, DON'T WORRY, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO IGNORE THIS POST♡

Time is priceless and there is no need to spend it on some random person's post only because they tagged you in it.

-Sosha. 2023.

First one we have... Original one!

Pretty simple cuuus, ya already know how he looks like.

-classic

-boring

-awful hair colour. no wonder why he has different hair colour on different arts.

Second one is... @soshaaaa aka me.

I actually drew this in the end, but i thought that "Well, if i will be harassing other ppl's Asmos, i need to harass my own Asmo first!"

-Eyes. ah, these eyes.

-"You draw nude man because you are horny, i draw nude man because im lazy to think of a new outfit"(×1)

-Why this one have so many "@Sosha"? because im angry when i have empty space on canvas

click to see more..

THIRD ONE ISSS @hiort

NOOO, FIRST DESIGN THAT IS MADE BY NOT-SOSHA?? (Aw, Sosha don't want to interrupt anyone, but I need to give credit for design so Sosha had to tag you, srry.)

-I found only 2 images of this one, but i just HAD TO draw it! I mean, look at this barbiegirl!

-I loove long haired Asmo. Also blonde looks pretty good on him!

-I made this first, so its less full than other ones. But i still think it came out cool!

FORTHTH ONE ISSSSS @noecoded

(srry for tag)

-I saw this Asmo some time ago, even before i went to tumblr, and when i found original artist I KNEW THAT I HAD TO DRAW THIS ASMO SOMEDAY.

-"You draw nude man because you are horny, i draw nude man because im lazy to think of a new outfit"(×2)

-I decided to use orig.artist shading style so it would look more familiar (and because i like it)

-darker skin and bright pink hair look sooo good!

-"Oh nooo, they made her EMOOO (deadass music)"

AND FIFTHTHTH ONE ISS @shootingstarrfish

(srry srry tag srry tag)

-U gotta say "Sosha, but this design is not very different" and i will say "SHUT UP IT GIVES EMU OTORI ENERGY AND I LOVE IT"

-He looks so silly and happy, I COULDN'T SKIP THIS ONE, OKAY????

-This one looks like mostly memes, i admit. I'm guilty. But i like it tho-

-Stealed lighting because IT LOOKS COOL

ULTIMATE MEME SKETCH!

IMAGINE BEING ASMO AND ENJOYING YOUR LIFE, THEN SUDDENLY 4 ANOTHER ASMOS FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSES APPEAR AND START TO DESTROY DEVILDOM TOGETHER???

...yeah, i definitely was high while i was drawing this.

Why they all pink? because i picked colours from their backgrounds, and when i was colouring backgrounds, i used mostly pink.

ALSO ASMO SCREENS FOR ALL YOU ASMO SIMPS AS USUAL♡♡♡

ANYWAY, END OF POST

[thousandyearphantombunker]

(vent)

TOH fandom feels this need to 'stick it' to other kids shows and show them how TOH 'did it correctly' but they don't understand what shows like Amphibia's SVTFOE and SU etc etc were going for. And the whole 'the show was cancelled excuse' drives me freaking insane! I grew up watching Spectacular spider man, x men evolution and GLtas and those shows got screwed over so badly- but they used their time efficiently to establish stories and characters etc so no you can absolutely can give everyone in your cast good character and relationship development establish important plot points and elements and villains within a short amount of time.

SVTFOE went through awful seasonal rot yes but it knew how to balance highschool drama with adventures amazingly (also it's mix of random xd humor and dark comedy was done a lot better imo) Amphibia despite its flaws is a very well done fantasy story (and has some great diversity in it and more subtle allegorical stuff surrounding being a foreigner and oppression- it's not the most deep show ever but it absolutely has depth) and im gonna say it Steven Universe while not a masterpiece by any means (it does share most of TOH's flaws) is just objectively better than TOH. Especially when it comes to diversity! More diverse body types, more diverse personalities (not everyone is lovably dorky- steven is a crybaby soft boy who matures into a charismatic leader, amethyst is a rambunctious tough bruiser, pearl is an intellectual insecure knight whose lost her cause and garnet is a stoic cool leader etc) and has jewish and south east asian rep and while no one talks about it Amethyst is good disabled rep (she's got the alien equivalent of dwarfism, the alien equivalent of a developmental disability and she has an arc surrounding how she views these aspects of herself) it handles mental illness very well and yet it has this horrible reputation as being super racist and inappropriate to show to kids- which is an opinion people are allowed to have about this show especially if they are black or poc or whatever- I'm not gonna call their opinions BS there are some good points they make about the whole 'angry black woman' stereotype but as a Puerto Rican girl with autism wasn't allowed to make any mildly negative comments about TOH and how it handled neurodivergence or how I didn't even register Luz as afro latina without fans saying I was full of shit and just completely media illiterate- the human zoo in su was depicted as bad but made one or two off color jokes and therefore the show is irredeemably evil- okay then but now you can't fucking harass me over saying TOH had some instances where the disabled rep fell apart a bit (i wouldn't even say that the show is over all ableist or godawful it just had moments that could've been handled better) but um no I'm not allowed to say that apparently- if you get to call my complaints bullshit because your a 'queer poc' then i as another queer poc gets to complain about the show you think is untouchable (i won't cause that's really mean and you have legitimate points) the logic this fandom uses to justify being an asshole to others drives me up a wall. SVTFOE handled revisionist history and colonialism better. Steven Universe had actual fucking diversity. Amphibia had actual layers and complexity that gets totally ignored. But no all shows have to have super blunt representation, and pretty art styles with flashy animation and we must shame all people who have even the most tame criticisms of TOH. The owl house isn't a horrible show but it has its flaws and people who complain about them bring up valid points and since some of you seem so up in arms needing bringing up race guess what? White people also get to call out TOH's flaws. So many kids shows get disregarded as having no depth or being stupid and I hate that TOH fandom also gets in on that nonsense.

Your show is cool we get it now stop fucking putting other kids media down. I'm not gonna say you should be thanking Steven universe or adventure time or gravity falls for laying down the groundwork so TOH can exist you get to criticize these shows but maybe don't get shocked and call everyone who says something you dislike media illiterate and say our complaints are BS? Cause we can easily say the same to you-by your logic I can say all your complaints are full of shit and harass you over liking the collector because of how he treated king, by your logic I get to call you racist and homophobic etc - which we can agree is a bullshit thing to say right? And also it's just mean. You can complain that Steven Universe getting cancelled isn't an excuse for its shit writing in some episodes (I agree with that) just also be aware that Im holding toh to that same standard. You can complain that SVTFOE had an ending you hate because of how ooc and pointless so much of it was- agreed but I get to say the same shit about toh

TOH is not immune to the criticisms you lob at other shows and screaming media iliteracy at the top of your lungs doesn't shut down arguments as well as you think it does

[intertexts]

GMORNING !!!!! u know what time it is

EPISODE 8 TRIVIA:

- the big monster they fought in the beginning was called a Crawling Apocalypse which looks like this. terrifying !!!

- bizly really liked that william banished it. he was originally not gonna let him do that but then "i realized your character can do so little and that was cool so i said fuck it" we love william pity points he is such a loser and he rolls so terribly <3

- they start talking about one piece because grizzlys saying things abt how certain parts of dakota are inspired by luffy and bizly goes "ive never watched anime" which is the biggest lie in the world

- grizzly: "yknow we were about an hour into the episode before i realized wow i havent done anything productive yet"

condi: "you just hit on vyncents mom for like 20 minutes!!!!"

- and then they start talking about how dakota and chip (bizlys pc from riptide) would either be best friends or hate each other which is really funny bc there are now MULTIPLE what if crossover episodes where they meet and interact and thats exactly the dynamic . i love them

- condi wasnt expecting his dad to be dead, he thought theyd have to fight him

- he kind of hesitated taking the sword !! vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about using something that belonged to his father

- he wasnt entirely Present for the part where his dad betrayed the party, he was sort of fading in and out of consciousness so theres a chance he didnt actually get the full picture. condi knows this out of character and vyncent knows it in the back of his mind somewhere that his dad might not actually be fully evil but hes too angry to come to terms with that yet

- hes struggling a lot with the fact that his mom.doesnt know about the betrayal. he doesnt want to tell her because "its not his fathers pride at stake, its his mother's memory of him" and that makes me so . :(

- THE GREATS!!!!!!!! THE GREATS ARE HERE i love the greats. surely nothing bad is happening to them

- they have a couple theories as to whats going on with the greats:

-- condi: theyre in this state because vyncent took too long getting them back here out of his head

-- condi: they were killed when they got transported to the other world and there was no way to get them back completely

-- charlie: something happened in the time where vyncent was transported to prime and the greats had died, so someone did something to keep them alive by putting them in his head. maybe they could only be kept alive by being in vyncents head

- grizzly tries to insight check bizly irl to see if any of their theories are close so far. this does not work . he rolled a 17 btw

- none of them trust minerva they think she might be secretly working with the lich. bizly defends her by saying "shes also in the middle of basically an apocalypse i think shes allowed to be a little mean to you"

- le frog is the only french person ever. this is brought up with NO context no explanation

- bizly is sharing some of the thumbnail art from youtube because this was right around the time the first few episodes were being put up publically !! most of them are just the same as the official refs but the most important one is le frog bc im not actually sure if youve seen his offical design yet . also tide used to be white. we dont have to talk about white tide

- bizly says pd feels more like a DC comic than a Marvel comic. hes right about this

- charlie starts talking about marissa meyer books and this is important 2 me because the lunar chronicles was an extremely formative piece of media for me . she apparently has a book called renegades thats superhero themed and i have not read it yet but i put it on my list specifically because of this. wahoo!

tgis is SUCH good trivia for this ep thank u dude... ouagh. really solid meal here. i love these last couple episodes so much.. there's so much fun stuff happening here i'm enjoying all of the greats stuff & getting like a solid Vyncent Moment for a while.

i LOVE the william pity points its great! it WAS cool as fuck!! also i gain +5 hp every time a gm goes "who give a shit if this isn't technically how the game mechanics should work, it's fun for everyone at the table & makes for something cool and makes sense narratively."

that being said. i DID take SO MUCH PSYCHIC DAMAGE from how long dakota spent hitting on his fucking mom. Please. Please king !!! sob.

I ALSO WAS EXPECTING THEM TO FIGHT VYN'S DAD???? still not unconvinced that some lich undead bullshit isn't going to happen with that. god i'm so invested in figuring out what HAPPENED there... i love this type of murder mystery situation. & i also was genuinely unsure if he would take the sword or not!! really kind of an ohhh shit! moment when he did. imo. vyncent virion sol i love u.... also it's still INCREDIBLY funny 2 me that he's still in his normal clothes. i have not forgotten that he is just doin his fantasy bullshit thing in the just some guy drip. (<- i might have forgotten something but i've been assuming they no longer have/wear Official Hero Drip since they're no longer really sanctioned or on great terms w/ them? also i've been assuming that the episode-specific clothes & shit isn't really permanent... now that im thinking about it though please tell me wiwi hardcore blue flame black leather kickass spiky biker jacket remains. it's too cool for him. but. still.)

I LOVE THE GREATS SO MUCH... i hope nothing permanently bad happens to them :( i like them so dearly..... you know they r really solid folks because they spent a YEAR and change living in a teenager's brain & came out of the experience still bein so nice 2 him.... augh. also in general big fan of the system-adjacent bullshit :] i love it when theres. guy with guys in his head. etc. will b sad ab their departure but i hope they r OKAY and return 2 Being Alive & shit!! nervous laughter. also god i can't wait to find out what Actually Happened with them. hhrhrghghgghh.

THIS IS SO TRUE ALSO???? free my girl minerva she did nothing but have Literally Normal Reactions to TERRIBLE things happening!!!

I DON'T LIKE THAT LEFROG FACT. it raises the question of is he actually even french or like, is there even a point of reference for his behavior. like. What is going on there. Horrifying thank you!!!! also man this entire degree im working on would be useless! well. maybe prime quebec exists. somehow. independently of a hypothetical europe. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN BTW. its so cute.. i WAS kind of imagining a mutant Big Real Fucking Frog situation but i think this is a lot more reasonable. also literally ignoring white tide I Do Not See it. It Does Not Exist.

ALSO. NOT GOING TO START TALKING AB COMICS FOR EVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS. BUT. he is so so so right. (<- dc comics guy with Opinions. well. technically im not even much of a dc guy im just a vertigo guy. but. still.) hghghghbhgh.

[acidmatze]

Was thinking on the bus messy thoughts about girls (and teens in general) arent allowed to be messy anymore and as someone who was a Very Messy teen with Very Messy emotions it wasnt easy growing up ofc but at least i had Very Fitting music and art and was "allowed" to create equally messy vent art and write shitty poems and stuff. Music was fitting perfectly for my emotions But now? Nobody is raging anymore. Nobody is yelling. Nobody is angry. Nobody is messy. Where are the music videos of people crying tears of blood but its actually just running eyeliner in the rain and the singer had pain and heartbreak for breakfast? Im 17 and my boyfriend left me and I will never be happy again so i get into my car (the shittiest pickup in the universe or something or whatever) and drive off a bridge while the singer screams his entire heart and soul out and looks like someone vomited sparkledogs all over the place. Theres so many fucking belts on that guy's black skinny jeans if he walks it makes clanking noises. Its 2005 and never have i ever been this sad and nobody in the entire universe could possibly understand me Where is that now? No wonder the teens are so messed up! They dont even draw shitty pictures of themselves doing some shitfuck to either themselves or people who wronged them anymore while Band With The Edgiest Name Ever rages in the background. How are they supposed to express themselves if they dont wear 238457349 belts anymore?

[drottni]

LBFAD rewatch observations part 5

1. Shangque is so pure and straightforward.

2. The way DFQC immediately latches onto any explanation of XLH's behavior of saving him. When Shangque says "she had an opportunity to escape but she gave it up to save you. It shows that..." and DFQC eagerly turns to him and says "shows that?" like yesss please?!?! tell me what does this mean?!?!? someone! anyone! And then immediately rejects the idea of "she's becoming a loyal subject like me!"

3. No words for how beautifully soft that petal shower scene is. Her joy and his smile. 🥺

4. The great Dongfang Qincang and his weakness for Flower Cakes made by his wife.

5. "Damutou is more intimate" !! 🤝🏼 "You can call me whatever you want" !! 🙃🙃🙃🥺

6. Man. Dylan Wang's acting in that "high on XLH's emotions" scene was soooo goood. The tortured joy where he is laughing but you also see his frustration. The angry sadness where you can see him crying but also the rage. His shaking hands as he grabs the Jade Ring and the deep breaths to ground himself. Oof. *Chefs kisses*

7. Also can we just talk about the multiple times he has made a fool of himself in front of his advisors because of her shenanigans but like....it never impacted his reign. They just figured out logical explanations and kind of just went with it... (excluding Xunfeng ofcourse because he actually can and does question DFQC). Like his advisors must be having headaches from the whiplash of emotions he gave them 😆

8. Sulking DFQC and coaxing XLH are the cutest. Ignoring her as they leave the pond illusion. The way he is shaking as he tells her she could have died if he didn't come on time and that she has to stay within his sight always. Her offering up the Destiny Book to please him. His disgruntled "oh so you fixed it right away for Changheng, I see how it is" her "ah but you know what saved me! This little inside thing that only you and I know!". And then finally him easing off and telling her "I would find you anywhere" and her teary eyed "My master who was the dearest person to me said the same thing and you...." All the little ways these two say "I love you I love you" without yet realizing that they do.

9. HIS HANDS. When she passes out and he catches her. His hands just rubbing her shoulder out of affection, concern, the need to feel she is still here alive with him. Ahh. That subtle movement 👌. (Also. Her just passing out from the exertion of her powers and maybeee from the almost realization that this menace of a king, the great Moon Supreme, might also be someone very dear to her. Like yes gurl I too would just pass out on the brink of such a realization)

10. "Are you still angry?" *cute little smile* "No" *sulk* "Yes you are" *pout*... "Damutou, I'm soooryy" *big puppy eyes* "Eat." *melted under the ray of her sunshine*. THE CUTEST BABIESS. (I love that she apologizes. Despite the fact that her intentions had never been to run but she acknowledges that she put him in a bad situation. That she sees how much this upset him and she is sorry for that.)

11. "You can't just come into my heart" 🤝🏼 "I can go wherever I want" 💀💀

12. "Why was I allowed to in the past? What's the difference now?" XLH: UHM SIR I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH YOU THEN. DO YOU MIND IM TRYNA HANDLE THESE NEW FEELINGS.

13. DFQC is such a heavy full of depth and compelling character and I just love Dylan Wang's portrayal and I just--- gahhh! *muffled screams*

14. I don't think I can express in words how much I love the scene of DFQC turning away from XLH while he weeps and then turning and collapsing into her. It is art. It is poetry. It is EVERYTHING. Dylan Wang's acting my god. The pain the sorrow the need for comfort its all so beautifully expressed on his face. XLH's tears and pain for him. The hands. Ofcourse the hands 😭😭 Also. XLH refusing to give up until she found the thorn pricking at him and pulled it out so he could heal. I love her. For seeing the pain and anger buried in him and saying "something here is not right. His reputation as a terrible monster who slaughters his family is wrong. I will figure this out and I will help him however I can" and then doing it! Refusing to back down even at the last minute when he says it isn't her place to ask! Being there for him as he goes through the grieiving process. Fiercely defending him against everyone who dares to say he is heartless. God. I love them both.

15. Head empty no thoughts just DFQC's little hand gesture stopping XLH in her tracks before she can come to stop him from taking the lightening strikes.

16. DFQC asking her to teach him how to be warm towards people because no one ever taught him that 😭😭

17. Her teaching him how to smile by showing it to him and then suggesting to also "hug" Xunfeng and his love adled brain IMMEDIATELY going "How?" *puppy eyes* and her immediately almost folding him into a hug but just barely stopping herself! You cannot tell me he did not know that would happen. He definitely knew she would "show" not "tell" and most definitely wanted her to hug him. We already seen him be sneaky as heck when telling her "No I am still weak I neeeeed you to help me walk" when it was straight up nonsense 😄 Even adding little fake coughs to convince her. I love me a sneaky husband who tries to coax more love out of his wife.

18. "This is the first time I have ever thanked a person. Don't refuse me." 😭🥲

That entire interaction of theirs is so giggle inducingly cute like omg the smiles they can barely contain the teasing "are my flower cakes ready?" "did you finish your medicine" "its too bitter *pout* but I did it, not a single drop left! *satisfied smirk*" AAHAHHHHHHHH but this line !! "Don't refuse me" !! Don't take this moment from me! Just let me adore youuuuuuuuu!!!!

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP37 SPOILERS!

im a bit late bc i was at work all day but time for ep37 reactions!! i cant believe its already here

- now ive heard everyone talking about the intro i bet its gonna be a rickroll or some shit

- ITS FUCKINF ALL STAR. I KNEW THEY WOULD PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS

- A TEENAGE GIRLS PARENT JUST GOT SHOT AND KILLED AND UR PLAYING ALL STAR.

- hermie mention in the intro im so calm and cool and chill about this /j

- "ur enough as u are" AINT NO WAY UR ABOUT TO MAKE ME START CRYING OVER A PARODY OF SMASH MOUTHS ALL STAR. WHY DID U HAVE TO PULL OUT THE BIG GUNS

- I DONT WANT THE TAYLOR VOICE CHANGE GOD NO

- MATT IM SCREAMING

- WILL CAMPOS U ABSOLUTE MADMAN. i already knew he was gonna find a way around using revivify but THAT WAS WILD

- are people gonna start drawing normal w that piece of jewelry now. bc i wanna. i already like drawing him w bracelets

- oh god what is beths fact gonna be.

- "i just keep meeting all the right people at all the wrong times" BETH MAY U ARE EVIL. THE PLOT OF THIS EPISODE HASNT EVEN STARTED AND IM ALREADY EMO

- ITS STARTING. OH NO

- NICKY BETTER FUCKING SHOW UP im curious to see what they actually decided on for the reason for him not being there last episode

- HERMIE WAS REMEMBERED giggles and kicks my feet

- TAYLOR AND LINCOLN ARENT AWARE THAT TERRY IS DEAD RN.

- were getting terris reaction rn i cant believe this is happening

- IM starting to feel sick godddd

- i bet im gonna see art of the lincoln and taylor piggyback ride hehe

- OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD TERRIS ASLEEP THIS MEANS WERE GONNA GET SCARY BACK. ALSO IS SHE GONNA SEE WILLY OH NOOOO

- NO NO NO NO NONONO

- "theres my girl" STFUUUUUU

- DOES SCARY REMEMBER ANYTHING??? DOES SHE KNOW WHATS GOING ON????

- "just wake him up" I. HATE. THIS EPSIODE

- SCARY GETTING CHOKED UP I CANT DO THIS

- TERRY DIDNT EVEN NEED TO DIE FUCK THIS

- "whoooa shit thats fucked up!" anthony burch i know u are just so incredibly pleased w urself.

- SCARYS STILL PRETENDING LIKE SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT TERRY. JUST FEEL UR FEELINGS GIRL GOOD GOD

- "EMBARRASSING"??? FOR A KID TO BE UPSET THAT ONE OF THEIR PARENTS GOT MURDERED???? WILLY STAMPLER WTF IS WRONG W U

- there was never a more obvious lie than willy saying hell revive terry

- 19 INSIGHT LETS GOOO

- THATS RIGHT SCARY. STAND THE FUCK UP TO HIM

- NORMAL DESPERATELY TRYING TO HELP AWWWW MAN :[[ I HATE THIS

- PUTS MY HEAD IN MY HANDS. THIS IS SO DEEPLY UPSETTING

- WHEN WE SAID WE WANTED MORE SCARY AND NORMAL INTERACTIONS WE DIDNT THINK ITD BE LIKE THIS!!!

- THE TWINS ARE HERE NOW OMG

- beth is out for fucking blood this episode. god she is so good at making the audience feel for her characters

- SHES TELEPORTING TO GRANT?? IM NOT READY YET

- "hes dangerous! get away from him!" THE FACT THAT THIS IS LINCOLN SAYING THIS ABOUT GRANT BREAKS MY HEART

- SCARY HAS A GUN FUCK YEAH!!!

- FIRST HERMIE SPEAKING LINE OF THE EPISODE YIPPEEEE

- halfway through the episode now. cant wait to see what could possibly go wrong next!!

- i love whenever anthony allows a fun rulebreaking idea to work

- IDK WHY THE IDEA OF THE KIDDADS HAVING A GC IS SO FUNNY TO ME

- rons status remains a mystery....

- "we could do a whole scene w just hermie and all the other ones" u joke matt but i enjoy every scene w hermie no matter how unnecessary and drawn out

- as always linc and taylor are such a funny iconic duo

- WERE FINALLY GETTING ANGRY NORMAL??? FINALLY????

- WILL WITHDRAWING HIS COOL MOVE LMAO

- i just realized WE STILL HAVENT SEEN NICKY!!! GODDAMN!!!

- "the gayest fucking mecha of all time" swiftli fans do u like the new ship name /j

- ig i cannot deny it anymore swiftli is practically canon atp

- NICKY!!!! NICKY!!!!! I SHOT STRAIGHT UP IN MY SEAT

- NICKY AND HERMIE ARE FINALLY INTERACTING. PRAISE THE LORD

- i thought nicky got all his limbs back?? did anthony just forget

- btw ive probably been waking up my whole house w how hard im laughing over swiftli this episode

- LINCOLNS GONNA PUNCH GRANT WHOA. WHOA

- "so what are u gonna do, ur gonna kill me?" as i said before. i hate this episode.

- SCARY OBLITERATED PAPA JOHN SO FAST WHOA.

- THE DUNGEON SETUP VS THE TONE OF THE EPISODE HELPPP

- i just had such a weird thought/prediction. but i will hold my tongue. bc the last time i said something like this it came true and i do not want this to come true

- IS SCARY GONNA BREAK IT W LOVE FOR TERRY. I CANT DO THIS

- "i love u and i hate that u made me love u when u are who u are and u knew it." I WISH U COULD SEE MY FUCKING FACE RN. HOLYYY SHIT THATS DEVASTATING

- oh. my. good. lord.

- GUYS????? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW. HOLY FUCK. THAT WAS HEAVY AS SHIT

[dufrau]

Babe you said you wanted comments and I love being a cheerleader so have a comment so thought through that I'm a little embarrassed (I literally took notes)

The loneliness that is getting invited to your mum's book club.

Nancy being heartbroken about not being invited 💔

Hard relate to thinking 'what is the most normal way to do something' in a social situation.

Also Nancy's allowed to be angry anyway but when you add wet socks? Unhinged feral rage justified.

If I was at that party I would absolutely have walked in on them because I'd be like, where snacks??? Except I probably would have followed in the first instance because the pretty girls went to get snacks so that's where I need to be and then they would never have banged so basically I'm glad I was not written in.

Giggling at the idea of Nancy smashing the peanut butter BC robin suggested it was an inappropriate snack.

'Her arms were pink up close, from the sun, and Nancy wanted to grab onto her biceps, her wrists, just grab them and let go and then watch her handprints fade away. Which was insane, of course. And which was par for the course, of course.'

Nancy angry at the fridge? fan art, someone, please.

Obsessed with Nancy checking out Robins legs like damn 😍 she has no musculature and she runs stupid, that's hot

Robin being like yeah the bowls are here where I'm blocking you from getting them and doing nothing to remedy that... her mind

Nancy not knowing what to say and just slut shaming robin 💯

'I need to get in there' 👀

'Robin swallowed and Nancy watched it happen. She couldn't feel it, the movement of her throat, from where her fingers were, and she was jealous of that too.' 🥴😩💓

The idea that in their blossoming relationship Robin will look at Nancy's facial expression and not be sure if she is about to commit a crime or fuck her silly 🤌🏻

'That she could have been the one to invite Robin over, that Robin almost definitely would have come if Nancy had only asked. Robin's hands were on her face and her breath was in Nancy's mouth and Nancy was standing between her legs surrounded by the heat of her, wondering if Robin would come now if she asked.' 😩😩😩

'Left to her own devices she wound up doing things like taking on the federal government to avenge her friend's death' happens to the best of us x

I think my favourite line is 'Nancy wanted to rub up against the sound of it.'

Favourite ronance canon trope is robin doing anything Nancy asks her (sexual)

Thank you for feeding us!!

Oh wow thank YOU for feeding ME. <3<3<3

I will address your concerns in list format! Under a cut because this is so long! Which I am not complaining about at all for the record this is making my day!

You know Karen's book club is awful, too. Straight romance novels every month and they just get drunk and complain about their husbands.

No but for real the loneliness of summer vacation when you are in-between friend groups? It's been 25 years but I remember this so vividly 😭 I did not fuck anybody in a kitchen about it though unfortunately.

I think Nancy is often kind of Performing Normalcy in the show and I think being profoundly lonely on top of that makes it very how-it-felt-to-socialize-when-covid-precautions-started-to-let-up. She's trying so hard!

Wet socks are the worst. Anger intensifies.

My excuse for nobody walking in was first of all just that its my story and i didnt want them to, but besides that im like, well nobody asked for snacks actually, and the boys are swimming in the pool and steve is working on his tan. And tbh they probably weren't even in there that long. Anyway they thank you for not interrupting them!

I almost had her pull down a can of Bush's Baked Beans instead of the peanut butter but it felt like very niche fanservice so I refrained.

The sunburn stuff was just there to add specificity and make it feel more tangible. I am trying to trick you into imagining what it feels like.

Nancy standing in front of the fridge mad about being short is so funny to me i can see it so clearly in my mind 😂 She's so mad already and now she's too short to reach the chips?? The disrespect.

I am a Robin-was-terrible-at-soccer-and-only-played-one-season-because-her-parents-forced-her truther. I am also a girls-with-soft-legs-are-cute truther.

Robin was 100% fucking with Nancy re: the bowls. I don't think she fully understood the *way* she was fucking with Nancy, but she definitely knew it was riling her up and she leaned into that on purpose just to see what would happen.

Nancy truly does know better than to slut shame anybody but she also does NOT know how to say "you look so good i want to scream" so uh RIP her principles this one time i guess.

The "I need to get in there" bit was just fun to write. I stand by it. I love that shit.

Throats are sexy. That is all I have to say about that.

I'm pretty sure Robin already has a pavlovian response to Nancy's Felony Face but yeah from here on out she's toast.

That line is probably a little over the top but nobody is probably reading angry kitchen smut for the subtlety so again I stand by it!

It's true though, whenever Nancy has nothing to do she MAKES something to do. Luckily for the federal government she now has something to do (Robin.)

Thank you! I also like that line a lot!

This is also my favorite trope for them 🙏

[ghostbrawl]

sent the 🐯 - nono the thing is i do know you!! youre not a stranger im just... sometimes i get spooked off, from interacting so much. because sometimes i think people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset :( and thats got nothin to do with you, you didnt do anything wrong. its me with my stupid thoughts and shit. i think youre really cool and i love your art and style and you seem so confident and dont give a shit about a lot of things. im intimidated by that

tried to answer this one privately and realized i couldn't because its an anon ask haha .. welp! i still want you to hear my input on this one so it's just going to be no reblog.

i'm going to put my response under the cut though for the sake of people's dashboards and because it's somewhat mushy. continue if you dare, followers - i'll be talking in depth about, like, emotions an shit.

so i sat on this ask for a while and really rolled it around my enclosure a little bit. full disclosure i need to just say for a long time i also felt this way - by that i mean feeling as though [people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset] - for various reasons.

one reason was that i had experienced real world examples of this sort of coddling many times - people online and in real life would often entertain me to my face and talk about me behind my back, mostly until i got too annoying to bear and was openly lashed out at or shunned. most of these incidents occurred when i was 16 or younger, to be fair, but they did make a mark on me.

another reason was just anxiety - if i didn't know exactly what the people around me thought, it would be safe to say those thoughts were bad. it would've verified what i thought about myself- and assuming those people already hated me allowed me to empathize with the versions of my loved ones that i created in my head. i often mourned the fact that they had to deal with me before i even knew whether they were annoyed or not.

these were the two main reasons why i often felt like people hated me, but i'm sure there were more.

i don't have an EXACT read on who you are anon, though i feel like i have an idea (you don't have to tell me, but if you'd like, reach out and send me a dm) - but personally, if we know each other, and i've not yelled at you or blocked you or told you not to talk to me, there's an incredibly decent chance (99%) that i neither hate you nor think you're annoying.

if you're my next door neighbor from two years ago, i take that back. but if you aren't, keep reading!

other than in my deepest darkest worst moments, i've pretty much trained myself out of the kneejerk assumption that my friends and loved ones hate me. i'll try not to sound preachy when i talk about why, but trust me when i say i have a point here in talking about it.

anyway - here's how i stopped doing that.

#1 - i started to model my own understandings of people's attitudes toward others based on my own attitudes.

ok i know that sounds weird or isn't very easy to understand so let me just give an example.

a technique i used a lot was just thinking through how, when, and why i liked or loved my friends. i loved my friends because they have similar interests to me, because of the history we had together, because it was easy to communicate with them, because i loved their minds and ideas, because they enriched my life (even when i didn't talk to them as much), because i was excited to hear from them + learn about their life, because i cared about them and didn't want to see them sick or hurt, because they were fun to hang out with, etc. etc etc.

then, i'd think about how i felt when one of my friends messed up, was irritating, annoying, or made me angry in some way. depending on how egregious the ill was, i reacted anywhere from pretty much none at all (for most irritations or annoyances) - to 'angry in the moment, it fades later' (for high stress situations in which i had no excuses for that friend) - to 'we seriously need to work this out' (for ongoing situations in which i was building up the strength to address).

most of the time, the irritations i encountered fell into the first category. many times i couldn't even be annoyed - i loved those friends so much that it didn't even matter, either in the very second the irritation happened or in the grand scheme of things.

in the few moments that i encountered more grave irritations such as those in the last category, what usually would happen is either that me and the other person sorted out our grievances and both agreed to change our behavior, or we parted ways.... and many of the friends i parted ways with i found wanting their company again and reconnected with them.

in evaluating myself in the context of my friends, though i can never know how, when, or why my friends love me, i know for relative certainty that when i am irritating or annoying to them, it is incidental and fades just as quickly for them as it fades for me. my friends will never be as concerned with my small flaws and ills as i am - it simply doesn't affect them nearly as much as it affects me.

^ this idea is doubly true for acquaintances and people you don't know as well as to say "friends" -- at the acquaintance level people can choose whether to get closer or to drift, factoring in time, interest, hyperfixation, location, their jobs, etc.

but this first technique only worked when i had the self-esteem to internalize the fact that other people's inner worlds were both just as complex as mine (holding complex feelings about oneself and each other) and just as simple as mine (annoyed or not? and for how long? etc)!

so another thing that really helped me was

#2 - faking confidence until i could build it properly.

i know everyone says this shit and it seems so ineffectual when it feels much more grounded and real to be cynical, to be anxious and upset with oneself.

and in many senses, it IS ineffectual - immediately. faking confidence is something that only works over years of doing it, and in faking your confidence you must also identify very real parts of yourself to be Actual Confident(tm) about and work toward feeling that way for real.

faking confidence is the sandbox where i, personally, found actual things to be proud of myself for within. when i faked confidence in my voice, way of thinking, my art, and my personality, i eventually found actual things to like in each of those aspects of myself based on how people reacted to that "front" of confidence i put up about those aspects of myself.

for a while i faced an awkward phase where my faked confidence was so intense that it manifested as arrogance and aggression toward others -- avoid this if you can . facepalm emoji.

but in presenting myself as somebody who was equal (or even greater) than other people in social situations i was in, other people pointed out things to be praised about me.

at first i'd be skeptical, but i'd keep it in the back of my mind. but over time, i'd see over and over the success of those parts of myself in social situations, artistic circles, athletic contexts, etc, and start to think "maybe i am good at [x]" or "maybe [personality trait] about me is helpful and cool", and on and on and on.

confidence and self-like is a process that builds on itself and gets easier over time. the second i began to question whether traits i had were really harmful or bad, the more i started to see reinforcing evidence of the contrary; of them being productive, healthy, interesting, worth having rather than destroying.

and the further you progress in this avenue, the easier it is to #not give a shit about things - or to respond less to attacks on the psyche or personality.

and when i reinforced + gained a respect for the parts of myself i once hated, it became easier to believe that others could admire me as much i admired them - that others could brush off my shortcomings as easily as i brushed off theirs.

recently, i hate to admit, i've had to start this process of loving myself all over again as i've started to experience a major personality shift brought on by gaining different + new responsibilities in my life. i respond differently to new circumstances so many times that i'm becoming somebody different - somebody i'm not yet prepared to love. somebody that i'm much more inclined to loathe, because i've seen the effects of my new personality traits on myself and others; not in observing my own actions, but in observing the actions of people in my life with the same personality traits such as my family.

so for now my confidence in a lot of situations is much shakier than it used to be - but the foundations i created back when are still there. when i don't believe in myself or punch down on myself i can keep it relatively contained internally and not project it onto others - or if i can't avoid projecting it, i at least understand on some level that i'm being unreasonable... and i can still keep that outward confident look pretty seamlessly while working out new insecurities from within.

trust me - i give a lot of shits, and so does every other confident person you know. we just keep it to ourselves - not to say that keeping it to oneself is inherently better, but it just helps to keep oneself from spiraling into deeper and deeper self hatred. keeping that hate on the down-low keeps it from gaining significant power.

in terms of being intimidated by other confident people....

i have nothing really to say about that. i think it's something that both affirms and worries the confident person in question - to be intimidating is to be slick and cool and impenetrable. but to be intimidating is also to be impenetrable (/neg) - impossible to see the inner life of through that glare of coolness or confidence. i guess its a double edged sword, i dunno.

but i think it gets easier to see even the intimidatingly cool as dorky, regular people when you recognize that pretty much everyone has or had crappy self image at one point. people are less intimidating when you allow the idea that they too, are people who fuck up, who go through things, who break down, who hate themselves, and who are just trying their best to seem like somebody lovable and worthwhile. and do that in order to CHASE interactions with others - and that wanting those interactions doesn't reflect badly on you or them.

but idk. i get it if u don't wanna read all that.

TLDR: ur thoughts aren't stupid and we've all been there. and i'm just some tumblr user on the internet it's really not so serious or scary. i post incessantly about robot sex and wizards instead of getting groceries. and everyone is just as stupid and dorky as the worst person you know and that's totally fine.