#its not even anything important theres other things to enjoy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

randomwriteronline · 5 months

Text

I wonder if the toa mata recognized themselves in their own memories from before mata nui.

I dont know, i think theres possibilities to be explored about that. Suddenly remembering yourself and what you find being a complete stranger is a common thing for amnesia plots i guess but also i think this could be even more jarring. Like a more genuine difference between killing machine and living being.

Its less a matter of nature vs nurture and more a matter of nature with a certain type of nurture. Nature dictates they are powerful and driven and well meaning, but the way they are brought up produces completely different people.

Their first taste of life was a sterile room with nobody but each other and a disembodied voice reading out their duties, establishing an arbitrary hierarchy within them, and then sending them to a glorified bootcamp where a ruthless instructor worked on making them into skilled combatants and nothing else, teaching them how to use their elements as tools and weapons without indulging in them; they got a vague sense of what and how a community feels like with the Av-Matoran - as outsiders, as its protective shield, there for them but not with them - only to get that stripped away from them too because their role as life saving tools to be preserved under glass just in case of a crisis was more important.

I wonder if the Toa Mata, the ones who were taken to the Koro of Mata Nui and listened to the Turaga's tales and reprimands and would have moved mountains for the Matoran who treated them like older siblings, return with their minds to things they said or thought or did from before the Island of Mata Nui and stop in their tracks. Whose memory is that, they think? That can't be mine. I am not like that. My siblings are not like that. Some things are perfectly right, they cant deny that; but just as many if not more are so wrong that they almost feel like a really cruel joke somebody planted into their heads.

Kopaka and Tahu got along, even if they dont want to admit it because they need to bicker like children or theyll die, but are more surprised that they werent as tentatively close with anybody else. Lewa remembers so much frustration and tedium and anger that if he stalls in his memories too much he genuinely starts feeling queasy, Pohatu has remnants of bitterness and passive aggression that still cling to him like the smell of a cigarette on someone who gave up smoking, and they both hate that because its nothing like them. Onua and Gali feel like theyre peering into some kind of imperfect clone's brain when they try to remember - its themselves, they know that, it has to be, but there are certain things they know about themelves that are just completely missing and its kind of dizzying to realize that.

Im not even sure they liked each other. They work together because its their destiny, but they don't seem to seek each other out for fun or anything else. In their training days they had to be shoved in each others direction or they would have never solved their obligatory group assignments.

I wonder if their terrors and flaws could partially come from this first life that they had too. Gali's fear of her anger and Lewa's disregard for duty stemming from Hydraxon's methods - she internalized his reprimands about feeling guilt for living enemies, but without any memory of him she believes the words resurfacing in her mind from time to time are her own, and is appalled by their cruelty; he was forbidden from enjoying himself, from indulging in any form of fun, of entertainment, of joy, and unconsciously now he rebels by shirking away from responsability to do whatever he wants.

The responses to Tahu's decision regarding the codrex haunt him, the whole situation, really; how he stripped his siblings of any say on their fate because he was the leader, not even telling them or explaining himself until they had no other choice, and if he could treat them like that once then what would stop him from doing so again and again until he doesnt even think about it? Kopaka is uneasy about it too. He knew the plan and supported Tahu only because he tagged along, but hes very, very acutely aware that he would have been left just as much in the dark as everybody else otherwise, and he would gave not even had anybody to seek any comfort from because hes fairly certain none of the others would have liked him enough to care.

Onua as @cantankerouscanuck pointed out to me mightve taken Hydraxon's teachings to heart, hence why he's so quiet: no use in expressing weakness, right? But karda nui must have been hellish on his senses, with all that light - a tangible physical discomfort that would bleed out into an emotional one as he becomes conscious of how none of his siblings go through this, thus he must be damaged in some way, faulty, out of place, and so he seeks to be alone, digging himself away. And its not hard to imagine how Pohatu (who hasnt had the chance to grow into the affable, kind toa his siblings can always lean on when they need to yet) would become convinced of his uselessness within the team and seethe about it.

They arrive on Mata Nui as broken war machines with no clue who they even are and suddenly find nature and community and love, and in a moment theyre people.

I wonder if the environment helped. Being thrown upon a beach in the open air with nothing but a whole world that is so alien and yet feels so right beckoning them to come closer. Discovering their powers and their domains freely, immediately - first thing they did was dive into their respective elements without a second thought, naturally magnetized, taking after them like it was the simplest thing in the world, because they are the first toa, the first beings capable of harnessing these powers in their whole universe, and its in their nature to be so connected to them. Maybe it helped. Maybe it made them feel connected to their own selves enough to figure themselves out in a way they couldnt have done so before.

Maybe it helped to find out their collective destiny each on their own, in their own environment, at their own pace, surrounded by younger siblings who look at them with awe and curiosity and frustration sometimes, guided by people who know how being alive works with all its good parts and messy bits and who can tell what having so much power means when youre barely aware of how to use it or what to do. And maybe it helped to find out who their siblings were in a similar way, introducing themselves as they wanted, as they felt like, without a specific order, and learning to recognize each other as siblings with all the things that make them insufferable and all the things that make them the best and what makes them happy and what makes them angry and how they sound when theyre worried and how likely they are to chase you down to the other edge of the island for doing something stupid, and like real people they grow and develop and change and stay the same, and then they meet the memory of themselves from before becoming people and its...

Idk. Its like the realization of who they used to be and the distance between themselves and those selves, and the fact that they dont like them.

#bionicle #toa mata #random talks #oh my god finally it shows up in tags. i had to email support and they still couldnt do anything for the previous version #sorry for the One Guy who liked the previous versions i swear I'll stop now that it finally works #but yea. many thoughts not necessarily coherent or well explained but i tried #i think of gali working alone and pohatus passive aggressiveness and lewa threatening to chew out tahu once they awake again #(i think of lewa being the first one to hear tahu laugh on mata nui)#i wonder if they sometimes acted or said something that made them look and sound and feel like before their stasis #and if it made them wince and hush uncomfortably or if they pushed through it despite the discomfort #i wonder if they talked about this. any of this. even if it wasnt pleasant.

88 notes · View notes

shesmore-shoebill · 11 days

Note

since you mentioned an angel in neon blue as one of your faves…..your top 5 amangela fics perhaps? some honorary mentions too if there’s too many? 👀

Sorry for the delay on this, life got busy and then more busy instead of less busy and I wanted to give this ask its deserved amount of consideration.

anyway. Five is HARD. I will do my best. Order is not indicative of anything bc I've agonized long enough as it is. I've tagged folks + linked directly to their posts where I could find their associated tumblr post, and links to AO3 where I couldn't.

Also I cheated and made a separate list for NSFW ones. Partly because I know some people don't want to read NSFW. and to cheat a little on the 5 restriction.

As always, RPF with F as in fiction. From what I recall, none of these are attempting to speculate or make any actual statements about real people, they're all just works of fiction I like.

if anyone wants me to remove a link to their fic or a tag for any reason, let me know.

close my eyes (and fantasize) by @baflegacy

listen. I am a fucking sucker for well intentioned and realistic miscommunication that stems from care and then goes wrong. I love a thing where someone cares about someone and thats why they're worried and the worry also means they are a little mad and a little hurt bc fuck, i want to help you, why arent you talking to me about this, did i do something, crossed with the other person doing everything in their power to do the exact thing driving them up the wall, because they genuinely care so much about the other person that its skewing their judgement. People who care and people who fuck up. I'll eat it up every time, and this one is written in a way that feels so real. 👌👌👌👌

the devil is in the details by skiespeaches

this is a newer fic and its still in progress atm and so theres a chance it gets bumped into NSFW territory 😅 but im really enjoying it!!! The dynamic between Amanda and Angela takes the competitive edge we can see in videos and makes it into something phenomenal. Its got such strong tension and pacing, and its also got. REALLY GOOD COMMUNICATION. People react realistically and have reasonable fears and doubts but everyone also talks about them and trusts each other and its just so satisfying to read as a result. And it STILL does the tension and the 👀👀👀👀👀 so well. Guess its kind of funny to put this and the prior recc right next to each other but I genuinely love both of these. Communication and humans are weird.

not strong enough by @moviemandy

i love a disaster angela fic as much as anyone but because I feel like that trope is established among smosh rpf, I love having that get subverted even more. More Amanda getting comforted!!! yeah!!!!!And the way the dynamic and emotions are written in this one is especially satisfying to me, they all feel very real, and sweet. :') Also, Im always a sucker for the trope where someone tries to deflect from their issues by taking care of someone else and then gets CALLED OUT FOR IT. also, double bonus, this fic can be read completely platonically. :]

a field of yellow flowers by @unknownteapot

gah this one has so many layers and elements to it, its such a damn delight to reread. the bittersweetness of it all really 👌👌👌👌. Grudging respect and admiration in an awful space, magnetism of people who both deeply want to love each other and really don't (but they do). The world feels very realized and that's so important bc the fic clearly sets up the interplay as like. The two of them and also the world they are in as a distinct three players in the story. This fic has so many emotions!!! gut punch of an end! you feel for both of them so deeply by the end.

i've been having revelations by @poppyfamily

slight cheating bc this is courtmangela but it should still count imo!!! It contains another classic trope of people who care about each other deeply and it being percieved by other people before they clock it themselves. Its something I like specifically as a writing trope and only executed in specific ways- caring deeply and being affectionate does not HAVE to mean you want to sleep with or are in love with someone, and IRL assumptions about that can be. Infuriating. But love how this fic does it. :) Also its funny and it feels very genuine and the voices all sound. right. I love fics with lots of cuts where so much is said in tiny details and tiny moments, it makes the world feel very fleshed out. Also, Courtmangela as a band is just a blessed concept.

NSFW fics:

lets make this bed get squeaky by baflegacy

This rewrote my goddamn brain chemistry actually. Like yes, this one is hot, but the parts that really hooked into my brain are not exclusively the spicy bits. Pining RPF Amanda is SO important to my brain, and that dynamic of an Amanda silently losing her mind and Angela also silently losing her mind but slightly more at peace about it, combined with their very genuine friendship keeping things fine and then. and THEN. well.

personal leisure by unknownteapot

hey this fic is hot as hell. Its extremely well written. But also besides the nsfw parts the banter and the sort of instant connection all feel very real and unforced and i love that the end of the fic feels so open ended but also so light and hopeful and sweet. choosing to believe they meet for coffee the next day and it all goes swimmingly.

like she wants to try me on by baflegacy

this fic is about amanda in the submissive and breedable outfit and angela. It accomplishes eveeything you could want from that. Its Very nsfw. its VERY good. Writing smut is difficult on multiple levels- keeping it logistically and emotionally sound while keeping it spicy. It does all three really well. also the aftercare moment is really sweet. :]

bonus: its the subject of this ask so i didnt include it but shout out to an angel in neon blue- the tension is INCREDIBLE and the way the ending recontextualizes everything and leaves you unsure who was really in control the whole time is like. really impressive. The characterization is SO strong and feels so true to the Sarah Christ we know and creates an equally strong Creekside Killer characterization to juxtapose it. 👌

#this post is absolutely outing me as someone who sent amangela anons here on smoshblr huh. 😅 look. i like what i like.#amangela #smosh rpf #smosh fanfic #smosh fic #ask tag #this is def not all the amangela fics i like but ones i felt like i could best articulate my liking for haha.#in gen amangela fic writers are v talented! 👌#i spent maybe too long on this ask but it was fun and now i have a post storing some of my fave fics so thats a plus #hope directly tagging is not a faux pas of some kind 😬 lmk if you want me to untag or unlink #likewise for the one author who isnt on here... ill see if i can let them know maybe #angela giarratana #amanda lehan canto #(largely for my own tagging purposes)

33 notes · View notes

the-s1lly-corner · 6 months

Note

Hay...... Do you think you could do tadc characters with a reader who has super bad depth perception (due to an eye injury) and as a result often ends up walking into things because they didn't realise it was right in front of them?? :3 (aka me)

TADC cast x reader who has very bad depth perception!

fuck it we balling!! (admin is now on a small time crunch, theyre not going to explode if they fail to finish this before they timer is up, but they are weird about time stuff) rolls around ehehehhehe i hope you enjoy!! i must admit, admin was a little stumped on this so this might be a little..... meh </3

CAINE:

i think he blows it out way out of proportion... though im not sure thats the right word... i mean, if you manage to get close to caine (which is quite a feat considering before he didnt really. build genuine connections with circus members as well as being busy with... whatever it is he does...) he doesnt quite.. understand... so i think he insists on being your eyes, utilizing his... thousands of all seeing eyes. he can get overbearing at times so youre going to need to set the record straight and explain things to him... hes a little confused but hes got the spirit.... takes you to his room whenever things get hard (migraine, nausea, ect ect ect) and pampers you... so.. maybe him taking things too far/seriously isnt that bad...

POMNI:

has probably tossed you something before remembering your depth perception... the regret on her face is immediate, spreading over it before you even have the chance to react to whats going on... quick and long stream of apologies as she picks up the thing; it wasnt even likely anything important or fragile

eventually builds the habit to not toss things to people when they ask for something.. offers to read things out for you if you have trouble with it, as well as guiding you to dark places if you have trouble with migraines as well (while admin doesnt have depth perception he does have something funky with his eyes that make them sometimes roll and cross and it suuuucks)

RAGATHA:

oh she is so so so empathetic with you. as mentioned above in pomnis part, if youre prone to nausea or migraines, shes going to do all that she can to help you... usually lets you lay in her bed to collect yourself... helps you judge the distance things are, especially if its in a chaotic situation such as an in house adventure. if you open up to her about the reason behind your bad vision, her heart is going to hurt for you. if you need comfort, she will provide it; if you just need some ears, she will provide. generally very good about accommodating you

JAX:

has probably asked why your eyes look off, assuming they cross or otherwise arent "standard". doesnt really say it to be rude, well.. actually no this is jax hes likely just scoping to see what the deal is, though its more of a curiosity thing. gives a soft "oh" when you briefly explain why. honestly i think he has a habit of tossing things to people when they ask him for something, and i think this would carry over to you.... does sometimes feel bad, but hey! hes not trying to be mean (kinda...)

does not stoop low enough to use your poor depth perception to his advantage for pranks, though. hes an asshole but i dont think he would be that evil tbh...

KINGER:

honestly? same. like i dont think that he has bad eyes thanks to an injury, no rather i think its just because hes OLD!!! so theres times where you guys fail to be each others eyes. you have terrible depth perception, he is shortsighted... uh oh... good news is that hes always keeping an eye on you (no shitty pun intended) due to him constantly worrying about you, so the chance of you somehow being in the way of danger is fairly low.... probably.... if you tend to attract it, though, or are on the clumsier side, rest assured that hes keeping you in the pillow fort!/lh

ZOOBLE:

probably doesnt even notice it at first until you bring it up in passing, and honestly i dont think their view on you would change. sure they would try to be more accommodating for you since theyre not totally apathetic, especially since youre a friend and/or partner... but theyre not too... emotional, so unlike ragatha they wouldnt outwardly give you an excessive amount of.... pity? care? im struggling to find the right word, im afraid... will let you vent about it, though, if the issues that come with it cause any stress.. otherwise doesnt bring it up too much unless you bring it up, both because they dont think its too much of a big deal as well as not wanting to pry

GANGLE:

very sad very empathetic if you ever open up to her about the events leading up to your injury (assuming you remember/it was something that happened in the real world that carried into the digital world), and perhaps sheds a tear for you. helps you read and write things if you struggle with it, as well as even wrapping her ribbon around your eyes should any random bouts of nausea roll in. generally very sweet about it but is very careful about not stepping over any lines, tends to ask before doing something (especially with the blindfolding/nausea thing)

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

71 notes · View notes

damnfandomproblems · 4 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/739064506502791168/fandom-problem-4499-i-think-sometimes-people-get

Thing is op

People like to use "coded" as an excuse to harrass others over a fictional character

"this character is minor-coded therefor if you like them or draw them sexy then you are a pedo"

"this character is gay-coded so if you ship them qith the opposite gender your homophobic"

"this character is autism-coded so if you dont see them that way you are ableist."

"this character is poc coded and if you dont portray them that way then you are racist"

And then they go and rip people to shreds over it. And most of the time they are actually "coded" as anything.

Ill give you a good example as to why coding should just fucking die in fandom.

In transformers (all of them afaik) there is a sentient ROBOT named Jazz. He is often voiced by a black voice actor, even in the early days of Generation 1 in 1984. Though it changes a few times Jazz is well known for his accented voice. Jazz (the music) is also known to be pioneered by black people.

In a way jazz is black coded. He is designed with all these elements related to black people.

The thing is. Jazz is a fucking robot. "Jazz" is the name he chose for himself because his cybertronian name does not translate or cannot be spoken by humans. Jazz is also a type of music he only heard when he arrived on earth and is something he loves, hence why he chose the name. He chooses to express himself in such a way because its what he enjoys.

It does not mean he is black. A white person can do all that because they have a love for jazz music. It isnt going to make them "black coded"

He is also again, a robot. Not human. Not even organic.

However of all the problems ive seen in the TF fandom the one about whether you should draw a human version of Jazz as black or white is probably the one thats sets people who give a shit off the most.

It doesn't matter what characteristics a character has. It doesnt matter if Jazz is drawn as black or white. Cuz he isn't human. Its literally up to fan interpretation and none of them are wrong but people want to shit fling, and react hostile over others not drawing him as black anyway.

Same could be said about a certain more popular pink skinned character (who is also human and japanese but when have people ever viewed japanese people as important.)

You can have your queer coded villains. Doesn't actually say they are queer. Hell in the past it would be done as a way to demonize queerness and traits. But queer people still loved those villains because they could relate to their tragedies.

What "coding" actually is, is a part of the design process to add depth and character. It's an inspiration born from reality. But it's not always that the character is meant to be that thing.

Theres a character from genshin impact i could say is "DID-coded" because when she falls alseep or is so stressed she passes out there is another version of her that takes her place that she doesnt know about.

In the same vein theres the game "At Dead of Night" (recommend it, its a horror game) where the main antagonist is possessed and murders people. They even had to put a disclaimer that the character didnt have DID and the game wasnt made to demonize people with DID or portray them as unstable serial killers. However despite the creators saying that, fans still "DID-code" the antagonist, not out of hatred for people with DID but because some people with DID still relate to the character. Not so much the killing people but the struggle the antagonist has with "being possessed". Having DID can be a frustrating and tiring experience and not many cope with it very well even when they do no harm. Feeling of loss of control is very relatable even without DID.

Regardless the rampant "coding everything trend" in fandom has caused a new "ship war" like wave of harrassment. If you dont view a character this was your a horrible person and you deserve *insert graphic content and threats of harm and suibaiting and more*

coding can be a cool thing to discover while analyzing a character or even creating one. But its become hated with good reason because people have no reason left in them. Coding is a cool way of adding depth and nuance to a character and would actually REALLY help beginners with their "bland" characters. Unfortunately even thats discouraged, since it can be seen as "baiting" or "stereotyping" and sometimes appropriating culture. (But a giant sentient robot making his entire personality about jazz music isn't? Lol)

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

#fandom problem 4499 #response to previous problem

49 notes · View notes

thereindeerlady · 7 months

Text

Hello to the 2 Zukka fans who may actually see this, i bring you Free Thoughts of a 2 am snacker!

Zukka hockey player/figure skater au

Now, i know what you’re thinking: Lydia! Tupp! This has already been done before!

And you would be correct! However! My brain has tweaked it in a way i have personally yet to see (wink wink nudge nudge drop the fic links if you’ve read this before)

So! My thoughts on the subject:

Hockey Player Zuko and Figure Skater Sokka

Zuko, child figure skating prodigy who suffered a tragic accident, is hidden away for two years before he reemerges under his Uncle’s care as a fierce hockey competitor after everyone said he’d never skate again

Sokka, who’s sister Katara became a World Junior Champion at 16* in ice hockey and who Sokka feels he can never live up to, enjoys after-hours figure skating on the same ice he works to maintain. Sokka, who watches singles programs galore and learns his favorites and recreates them, posting them to youtube for his 6 followers (Hakoda, Bato, GranGran, some kid name Aang, and two other anonymous strangers). Sokka who has a natural grace to him despite the obvious lack of formal training, who skates like he’s got everything and nothing to lose, whose love for the art shows in every glide and every turn. Sokka who gets discovered one day by an old grumpy coach who offers to give him a few tips. Sokka who is a fast learner and spends ages 14 to 18 quickly climbing the local ranks.

Zuko, who, at 16 faces a second injury that takes him out of hockey forever. Zuko, who has just been officially disowned as his own sister takes to the spotlight. Zuko, angry at the world, lashing out at everyone around, but goes willingly with his uncle when Iroh suggests a change of scenery 6 months into his recovery. Zuko who is determined to skate again, if only for himself, if only to prove that yes, he is strong enough to come back again. Zuko who strikes a deal with local ice rink that if he sits and runs the front counter during the day while his uncle runs the popular new tea shop inside the rink, he can use the rink after hours once his injury is healed enough. Almost 17 year old Zuko who stays late to reorganize some papers behind the counter one night and sees Sokka step onto the ice and go through vigorous warm ups and exercises. Zuko, who drifts a little closer and watches as Sokka is told he can skate anything he wants for the first skate. Zuko, hearing the song from the last program he ever skated come on through the speakers and watching as Sokka skates through it easily, with a passion Zuko himself had never managed to feel. Zuko, who occasionally stays behind to secretly watch a pretty boy skate and never gets caught for 4 more months. Zuko, who is finally cleared by his physical therapist to get back on the ice but with orders to take it slow, gliding carefully out onto well-taken-care-of ice for the first time in almost a year in skates very different from his last pair, and it feels strangely like coming home.

Sokka who watches a stranger hesitantly enter the rink. He comes to the rink on his nights off when everything at home becomes too much. He loves his sister and his parents- because Bato never needed to marry his dad to be a second father to him- and he even loves his sweet crazy old GranGran, but sometimes it all gets to be too much. They know he’s seriously training in figure skating now but they’ve never come to any of his recitals**. Its not that they dont care, but theres always something else going on. “Oh, we cant, Katara has her out of state tournament that weekend” or “Oh no bud Im so sorry, Bato and I are going on a late anniversary trip that day” or even “I have too much homework, Sokka, I’ll come to the next one, promise!” The only one who never makes an excuse but he also never actually sees in the audience is GranGran (this’ll be important later on wink wink). So, when things get to be too much and Sokka gets tired of having to be the loudest person in the room just to simply be acknowledged, he comes to his safe place. The rink after hours. Sokka watches from the upper shadows as the stranger takes careful, measured, practiced glides. Like riding a bike for the first time in ages, they’re hesitant at first before they slowly gain traction. At first, he thinks the stranger is just going to glide from one end to the other all night but instead he watches as they slowly begin a few exercises. Very familiar exercises. (Do you see where im going with this?) And then, they turn around, and Sokka is suddenly breathless because before him is the most beautiful boy- the most beautiful human- he’s ever seen. And sure, maybe Sokka has always fallen too fast and too hard, and sure, Sokka has literally never talked to this boy in his entire life, but Sokka looks at him and sees that look on his face and knows. ‘He’s just like me.’

Zuko who keeps coming back and lingers before Sokka gets on the ice. Sokka who stays late to watch Zuko retrain himself. Piandao who is sick and tired of watching these two boys dance around each other when they could clearly be learning from one another because, though Zuko had not trained in figure skating in years, he had been a true prodigy and he picked it back up easier than he should have been able. Piandao who was Zuko’s first coach before his father transferred him to Zhao’s guidance. (Jeong Jeong, a retired pro hockey player who is tired of listening to his husband bitch all day anout oblivious idiots because they’re starting to remind him of himself and Piandao when they were young and headstrong.) Jeong Jeong who finally takes matters into his own hand and tells the boy who runs his front counter that Piandao would like for him to come to Sokka’s next practice and then tells Piandao to “Stop whining and do something now, I’ll see you at home” with a kiss on the cheek as the two boys shyly trade introductions.

Zuko who begins helping Sokka with his training even as he himself recovers and relearns. Sokka showing up on the nights Zuko skates alone with greasy takeout and the occasional baked good his GranGran made that day. Sokka and Zuko curling up on the couch in the back office watching old figure skating videos on an old laptop and Sokka finally realizing exactly who Zuko is as Zuko finally realizes Sokka is that one youtuber he watched for years when he was younger. Zuko laughing and telling him that the random subscriber Aang is actually a friend of his and the other anonymous subscriber was just Zuko’s second account after he lost the password to the first.

On one of their casual skate nights, once Zuko is back to full strength, Sokka suggests they learn a pairs skate tongether for fun. Ike a trust exercise!” He says as if he hasnt been dying to know what it would feel like to skate in tandem with Zuko since he first saw his face. Zuko agrees and he and Sokka find a program they both like. They decide who’s skating what and then begin to fumble through learning their individual parts. A week or two later, they try it together for the first time, no music, and its not half bad. They continue to learn it together and notice that the more they skate together, the better they get individually. Zuko’s refined control gives Sokka a more polished look without smothering his passion while Sokka’s passion and fluidity allows Zuko to loosen up and actually enjoy what he’s doing. (1 hour mark)

Eventually, they put it to music, and Piandao and Jeong Jeong emerge from the shadows at the end of the song. Piandao asks them if they want to learn their own pairs program to compete together this year. The two boys share a look and agree almost immediately. The next few months are spent learning the choreography. Sokka and Zuko both go through core strength training and lifting weights because Piandao is currently planning to have them both lift each other at some point in the program.

Time jumps forward to the competitions and Zuko and Sokka blow it out of the water. This time, Sokka spots his GranGran when Zuko is pointing out and waving to his Uncle Iroh near the top of the rink. She’s sitting with Zuko’s uncle and he’s elated to see her there and yet, disappointed that his family still hasn’t come to support him. Time jumps again. Sokka and Zuko spends hours training and then hours on their off days hanging around Zuko and Iroh’s house or even Iroh’s tea shop. They ofc have spent all of this time in continual pining.

But, time jump to when they’re both 18 and 19 and they’ve both just qualified to skate pairs at Junior Worlds for the second year and this year they’re sure to win. They’re in Zuko’s kitchen, baking, and as they’re waiting for the over timer to go off, a slow song comes on. Sokka, in contrast to his norm, is quiet and gentle in the way he offers Zuko his hand and they slow dance in the kitchen with flour in their hair. They’re a little giggly and high on adrenaline but neither are sure who leans in first, only that they are both very much on board with the whole kissing thing. Despite the years of tension, the kiss is tentative and sweet. They begin dating and it only makes their program better. The love they have for each other so clearly pours over into their skating.

This Junior Worlds is the first tike GranGran finally drags the rest of the family by the ear to come and watch Sokka compete and to Zuko’s surprise, he sees Aang and a few of his other friends in the audience. Sokka and Zuko win (to no ones surprise).

Insert sokka family angst and resolve here. Insert zuko family trauma etc here

Sokka and Zuko go om to do more pairs skating things and they live happily ever after etc ete

I ran out of steam there but its 3:10 in the morning and i started at 1:51. Hope you enjoyed, this has been 2 am thoughts with Lydia.

* i did minimal research here, be proud

** same thing but even less this fime

#zukka #zukka nation #zukka headcanons #zukka au #prince zuko #atla zuko #sokka #atla sokka

55 notes · View notes

antiv3nom · 1 month

Note

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

#ask #random ramblings #bedman #ask game #anon

23 notes · View notes

wuntrum · 8 months

Note

Oooh I just started rewatching Twin Peaks yesterday! The last time I saw it was around 4 or 5 years ago. Just putting on the first episode again made me realize how much like home this weird little show feels like to me. It’s been nice to see your enthusiasm for it on my dash :)

may I ask what you enjoy most about the show, or why it appeals to you, if anything comes to mind? I find it’s a bit of an odd one to try recommending to people - I love it, of course, but my taste is a little strange, and I don’t find other fans out in the wild that often.

oooh, that's an interesting question! i think theres a lot of aspects that appeal to me about twin peaks...on a very surface level i love the aesthetics of the show, as someone who lives in new england (pacific northwest and new england are connected pacman-map-style in my mind), the settings and fashion are all excellent. i also love its absurdity, i love the fact that no one talks like a real person and theres people with such weird and distinct archetypes and over the top emotions all colliding with each other---that, and the way it approaches the sort of worldbuilding going on, plus the importance of dreams in the narrative contribute to such an interesting and dreamy atmosphere. i think what makes twin peaks special compared to things that were made after it and were inspired by parts of it is that even when its confusing and strange on a literal level, its always emotionally resonant--you don't need to understand it, because you feel it. the way they're able to set up all the people and relationships in this town so quickly, you really feel like you're a fly on the wall in this living and breathing place, even when its strange. you rarely see how buildings and places connect, but you don't need to because its all so convincing as a woven together location (and of course thats for like logistical/filming purposes, but it creates an interesting effect lol). it uses the familiarity of americana tropes (and even television tropes) and distorts them to create meaning, while still keeping parts of their signifiers intact. even watching it for the first time in 2021 was shocking throughout, so i genuinely can't imagine how it felt catching it live when it was airing, like there was nothing else like it! the fact that david lynch helped to make a prime time television show is something that like logically should never have happened, but i'm so glad it did. i also think on a production/creative level, its so interesting to see how it sort of morphed and developed as the original run and fire walk with me and the return unfolded, like what themes were dropped versus what (at first) insignificant details were given meaning and expanded upon.

i do think it can be a hard sell to convince people to give it a chance--i've had a friend or two try to watch it and say its too slow for them, or it just wasn't clicking. but i've also had more friends really get into it, probably because i have a lot of weirdo artsy friends (i say that with love of course). but i think it's a great gateway into other weird and absurd stuff, or at least it was for me. i also enjoy a good ol "weird thing happening in small town" story, and so it was interesting watching twin peaks and then revisiting stuff that was clearly inspired by it, or at least partially (welcome to night vale, s1 of stranger things...s1 of riverdale. but also i think the return has its own sort of inspiration fuel, like season 4 of barry and beau is afraid struck me in the same way that the return did)

#asks #twin peaks #idk if all that makes sense but its my truth !#i reaaaally really gotta do a full rewatch. its been a minute #my taste is also strange so i think thats why it appeals to be in the way it does LOL

54 notes · View notes

captainjunglegym · 3 months

Note

sry needed to talk to this about someone lmao but I’ve seen so many people on twitter say that george played the king like a fiddle when i feel like looking at it this way is way too easy. like yes ofc george manipulates james but i feel like to some degree james even knows that he isn’t dumb he kind of lets george rule. you can see a shift in their relationship when he feels like george is more sincere and i think in a lot of moments their love was real. he only freaks out when george goes against the one thing he hates which is war that is a line george should not have crossed. their relationship definitely wasn’t healthy (which relationship in the 1600s was tbh) but at least you could still see some of george‘s softer side shine through with james. george as a character isn’t one dimensional he is so many things at once until well the end when i don’t think he is even a person anymore.

firstly, anything ever said on twitter is a bad take. I have twitter blocked on my computer bc i get tempted to look and it only brings bad vibes.

and yes you're right. james comes across as a monarch who doesn't particularly have head (or the patience) for politics. He does kinda let george do a lot of that for him. Famously, James' only stance is that he's a staunch pacifist and when george crosses that line, and tries to lie about it, then that's when the cards fall. George doesn't even realise theres a line bc he's so lost in the power he's gained, and when James fights back you can SEE how devastated and completely caught of guard he is. He banks on james loving him unconditionally but that ultimately doesn't hold up.

The best example i think of their relationship dynamic is the woods scene in ep7. James is rotting inside under mary's watch, dying of illness. George makes the woods his bedroom because he knows james lives for being outdoors. Some might say this was solely to butter james up about the spain issue, BUT even if it was, george had to know james so intimately to understand what that gesture meant for him. That was PEAK romance. He literally brought james back to life because he was the only one who knew him enough to do so. And you can see in that ep that they really do love each other. Even if, like you say, its not that healthy bc power and status was more important back then. they laugh together, they enjoy each other's company, they'd, at that point, been together for YEARS.

George is such a wonderful character. His is so complex. He does love James genuinely. But he gets very comfortable in james' favour and crosses a line because he craves the power and status his position affords. By the end, he doesn't really have anything tethering him to the ground. Especially with James' death, which i think was probs pretty traumatic for him haha, and the fact he no longer is under mary's thumb. Historically speaking, we know that everyone fucking HATED george by the end, and thought he was incompetent. And you can see in how he acts with the guy who kills him (john felton) that he's completely lost touch with reality. And its SO upsetting to watch because he's a dead eyed double of the young 20 year old we meet in the beginning.

God i could write ESSAYS about this show and it's relationships.

#mary and george spoilers #spoilers #george villiers

20 notes · View notes

lains-reality · 10 months

Note

Im struggling with applying this concept in my daily life due to boredom (my ego is too bored to live in the present)

So what I’m getting is that we’re just observing the ego. The “self” doesnt think that something is boring- ego does. And the state of being bored is just the state of wanting something to happen. Which contradicts the I am.

It’s just that my ego lives such a boring life with almost zero human contact for the entire day and with few hobbies. The only thing I feel like I can resort to is social media. (Which I’m trying to stop) Do I just observe this routine on and on again? It’s hard to live in the present when there’s nothing to do

Sorry I don’t know if this made much sense..

"Im struggling with applying this concept in my daily life due to boredom (my ego is too bored to live in the present)"

theres not really an application, just reminders. when something prompts you to do anything, that can be used to remind yourself of the truth.

when i get bored its usually 'cause i want the world to look a certain way, when actually even without your desires there are so much things to do! divinity is in everything, everywhere.

"And the state of being bored is just the state of wanting something to happen."

what ru talking abt (1) theres no states here (2) does being bored actually have to mean anything? ik i just said the reason why i get bored, but ... (3) if the character is unreal, then does it concerns matter?

"Which contradicts the I am."

nothing really contradicts the I AM. everthing takes place in awareness anyway, this is all like saying I AM bored, but really you are the I AM, not the bored. you can just accept that the bored feeling is here, it doesnt really change anything does it?

"It’s just that my ego lives such a boring life with almost zero human contact for the entire day and with few hobbies."

then do some hobbies? what do you want me to advise you?? you're bored.. its either

do something and enjoy yourself

wallow in the boredom

either way you can let go of limitations as you go in both situations anyway. idk if this will help but i thought that i couldnt let go of limitations without some big fight or something, but no! simply getting yourself to do some chores and choosing to enjoy yourself through that is enough.

theres this idea that everything is meditation, once you know what it is.

went a bit off point lol

"The only thing I feel like I can resort to is social media. (Which I’m trying to stop)"

then stop fixing yourself to feeling like theres only social media. just let the idea of something possibly more guide you. you think you are the character who only has the body it has now and is limited by it.

"It’s hard to live in the present when there’s nothing to do"

you know i deleted a quote from my reblog blog's queue bcs i thought this is not as important as the others, i'm so mad now that i need it. it said bascially people mistake the contents of the present moment as the actual present moment. it was by eckhart tolle.

you are ALREADY IN THE PRESENT MOMEMT, your mind wants to take you to the past or future, but thats not NOW. you can say 'but that was then' or 'thats not now so i dont need to deal with it rn' and move on. you don't need something to do to honour the present moment. you're already here!!

also, again, you think that theres nothing to do bcs you take yourself to be the body. the limited. theres so much more than what you're character can do. you are unlimited.

reading

read practising the power of now by eckhart tolle, its like consistently the only book i keep talking abt in like almost all anon answers

learn to be comfortable by yourself

#lainsmail

59 notes · View notes

lesbianspeedy · 8 months

Note

Sorry if this is a bad question or more likely just hopeless. I’ve been trying to find a good Connor Hawke comic to read (first found out about him in Damian’s Robin solo and he and Rose were the only two things I liked besides the Robin chase but I’m a bat brat) and I’ve only read the Silver Monkey story and as I’m not a fan of Oliver Green at all (my exposure to him has in no way been positive) and I HATE Dixon and I know he’s the main writer for Connor, but I had to drop the Tim solo because of his obvious, I guess bigotry would be the right word to use here, but he is one of the three writers I refuse to let myself read anymore to try and keep my blood pressure low. Are there any Connor stories or series that exist outside of those parameters to read because I’m having 0 luck. I’m also not sure if you’re a fan of Mia or Emilio or have any go-to stories for them, but I know nothing about them and I’d like to change that if at all possible.

i understand, i do i do. while i think dixon is capable of good character writing, and he did manage to do it in connor's run, i also understand his very very obvious politics shine through all the time and it gets tiresome (at one point in his ga run he manages to write OLIVER QUEEN "both sides"ing literal nazis that he and hal fought in GL/GA). here's the best i can do for recs outside of dixon (though few and far between)

Before i start, i do wanna clarify that his character in robin is. well. pretty different from his actual pre-established character. I'm not saying you won't like him, and im genuinely begging you to give him a shot, but if youre looking for the snarky brawler type, you might be a lil thrown by the polite buddhist monk you're gonna get.

you are in luck, as his first few appearances were by kelley puckett, so if you havent already read GA vol. 2 #0, do that first! #91 and #92 are also by puckett until dixon takes over for #93, so read those if you dont mind just stopping in the middle of an arc, otherwise avoid.

now this next rec IS 1/3 written by dixon but if you can get through it, the crossover connor has with wally and kyle is enjoyable, thats Green Lantern Vol. 3 #96, GA Vol. 2 #130, and The Flash Vol. 2 #135

Connor's JLA run! JLA Vol. 1 #8-#15, #8 and #9 are specifically about connor saving and joining the league, the rest of the issues just feature him in a team setting, as, well, its the league.

if you want to read mia as well, read Green Arrow: Quiver (GA Vol. 3 #1-#10), Connor plays an important role but its almost entirely in the very last issue, and it's more about Ollie's role dynamic with him than anything else, so just read that if it tickles your fancy.

I wish i could recommend more of GA Vol. 3 for connor, unfortunately he's pretty fucking sidelined, and for every good moment theres 2 bad ones. (immediately after quiver he is shot and put in a coma for an arc, somehow this isnt the last time this happens.) Though i do recommend #11, and i think #21 is a good issue to read for ollie and him, but it also includes a pretty huge retcon to Connor and Ollie's past

Other than those, he has One-shots in Green Arrow 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular: "One", DC Pride 2022: "Think Of Me", and DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration: "Hawke & Kong"

to answer your second question, my URL aint lesbianspeedy for nothin! Mia is what i breathe and bleed, my recs for her are here!

as for Emi, your best bets are Green Arrow Vol. 5 #18-#20, #22, #28-#34 for her origin (though read N52 green arrow at your own risk, even i havent properly read these), Green Arrow Vol. 6 #1-#7 (this may feel like a completely new character, i'm sorry, dc has a angsty characterisation problem, if you enjoy either of these characterisations, i'd recommend you keep reading said runs past my specific recs for more issues with her!) and Stargirl Spring Break Special + Stargirl: The Lost Children #1-#6

#comic recs #connor hawke #green arrow

33 notes · View notes

cupoftaae · 1 year

Text

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ college spirit (chapter 7)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5k

Chapter warnings- okay so this is probably the chapter with the most warnings, there is a lot of alchohol, lots of swearing, theres themes of relationship abuse, physical abuse, manipulation, blood mention, we see jungkook btw (bc its party time) Taehyungs heart is in the right place but he does something bad. Kaito is a dickhead say it with me. dont read if youre sensitive to domestic abuse themes, this one was rough yall. also apologies for spelling errors.

A/N- So this is the chapter I would label as story changing, everything kind of takes a giant move in an opposite direction from here on out, Its crazy but hope you enjoy!!

Growing up, you thought that life would just magically align the moment you hit your 20's, you would be married with 2 kids living somewhere that provided everything you needed, and anything you wanted. You can laugh at yourself now for thinking, or even considering, that your early 20's would be any different from your teen years.

Because, with that said, here you were laying in bed with Taehyung as he slept, while your boyfriend was out doing God knows what. Granted, he isnt the best boy to use as an example, but just a few hours ago you almost kissed your best friend. You are a lot of things, but despite the shitty situation, you are not a cheater.

You could have yelled at him, you could have made a big deal about what happened outside, but you didnt.

You told yourself that this was taehyungs night to shine, so you dropped it and did what you both always do, forget it even happened. He is stubborn though, and snuck into your bed right before you fell asleep.

Its not unusual for you both to sleep near one another, but you would think he would get the hint that things needed to simmer down for a few.....guess not.

"youre awake?"

you turned your head to the raspy voice beside you, rubbing your eyes as you hummed. "yeah"

He smiled and stretched, burying his face into the pillow before reluctantly sitting up against the headboard.

"You sleep okay?" you ask

"yeah" tae chuckled, "Sort of have a headache..."

"ah" you reached into your nightstand and grabbed some Tylenol, handing the pills over to him along with your not drunk water bottle from last night.

He smiled graciously and took the medicine, sipping the bottle before clearing his throat. "thanks" the boy yawned. "any plans today?" he looked at you

You pulled down the sheet and sat up as well, groaning at the stubborn sunlight peaking through your curtains. "Um...yeah. shit I forgot....some of my friends are throwing a party and I said I would show up. I dont know why I agreed"

"what?" tae whined "just dont go"

"nah they will be pissed at me, they already called me a prude for working and being home all day after school" you shrug

Tae sunk into the bed, upset that you would be out and about while he stayed in the apartment. "I'll just make an appearance, then make my exit, okay? it wont be like an all night thing, swear" you rambled.

"can I go at least?" he pleaded with big eyes

sighing, you look up at the ceiling. "eh, Im not sure thats....I dont know if its a good idea"

"why not?"

"because you dont know anyone over there except from Chae and Dahyun...who youve only met a few times, and-"

"whos throwing the party?"

"...I dont know? Some kid named Jungkook"

"see? you dont even know whos gonna be there so whats the difference if I go?" he insisted

"Because I definitely will recognize people, we all are on the same campus, you wont know a soul"

"Pleaseeee" he jokingly whined and held onto your arm.

"tae"

"Is kaito going?"

"yes"

"then I will too"

you scoff and pull back, "youre going just because he is?"

He looks at you, "no, I just- whatever im going" he stands up and flairs his arms around dramatically before going into the bathroom to wash up, not giving any room to further the conversation.

you fall back against the pillows and sigh. You never wanted to go, but you thought perhaps you had a chance at having fun, now that chance was at like....0.0002%. You loved tae, but certain people in your life dont, certain people who will be at that party, certain people who told you not to bring him.

"Yes mom, i-...yes yes, I already said that" you paced around the kitchen with your cellphone pressed to your ear, attempting to clean off the counters while conversing with your mother who was back in Gwangju.

"Well im just saying, your birthday is next month and I would come to Busan myself but my back is still giving issues, doctor said no travel. Would love to see you and kaito come visit me"

You looked around the kitchen as you listened to your mom speak, eyes catching on taehyung who was eating an english muffin in the living room, writing an email to his mom about how he won the art contest.

"I'll talk to him, we both have crazy schedules right now and the semester isnt over until the end of next month, so-"

"its okay if you cant, im just throwing it out there"

"no no, i'll find a way, ok? I only turn 23 once, and Im sure Kaito will love to meet you too."

Tae took a bite of his food and cocked his head to you, raising his eyebrows as you silently shrugged in response.

"Ok....mhm. I love you too mama, text me, okay? ...bye bye" you sigh and put your phone down.

"early birthday festivities?"

"yeah....Im gonna visit mom in a few weeks and she asked me to bring the..boy" you giggle, making him smile.

"she doesnt wanna see me?"

"I think she just wants to meet my current boyfriend, youll see her on easter" you pat his back and walk into your room.

"I think Jungkook is cute" Dahyun spoke up, biting into her donut as she scrolled through social media, showing his photos to Chae.

"eh he is oka- woah, yeah hes hot" she leaned closer into her friends phone as Kaito sighed and handed over their coffees. "thanks bean boy" chae chuckled and sipped her drink.

"If you guys are gonna harass me on my shift you can go" he adjusted his apron before wiping off the counter. "do you seriously plan on waiting until I get off of work? you cant drive yourself to the party?"

"what else do we have to do? and....its raining" dahyun drank her coffee, turning to Kaito. "plus you only have another 30 minuets, hurry up"

Chae laughed and walked over to sit in one of the booths as kaito took a new customers order.

"dahyun cmere"

The girl walked over and sat with her friend, looking down at her phone. "whats that?"

"Its Y/N and taehyung" she snickered, scrolling through the collected photos you took last night on your instagram.

Kaito peered over at his friends, curious upon hearing your name brought up. "Oh, yeah, they had this stupid art thing last night, guess he won or whatever" he dried his hands and handed the customer their drink.

"this doesnt look like a art thing" Dahyun smirked

"what?" he came from behind the counter, walking over to see a video of you, drunk, at some bar with taehyung, eating fries.

"she said she was going home after" he pouted and took the girls phone into his hands

"hey!" chae snatched her phone back

"she lied to me" he scoffs and looks again at the videos. "this was last night? youre sure?"

"it says 18 hours ago, yes"

He scratched his head and silently walked back to his position, not speaking a single word until his shift ended. The girls sharing humorous yet worried glances at eachother.

"He isnt picking you up"

"what?" you walk around the lobby of your apartment complex as you struggle to comprehend your friend on the other line.

"He said he cant pick you up, but he would see you at the party" Chae spoke louder.

"why cant he pick me up?, where-, what is he doing?"

"I dont know, but thats what he said, ask him" she responded shortly before getting distracted by someone else and hanging up on accident.

You sigh loudly and walk over to taehyung who was resting on the bench. "so hes not picking me up, big surprise"

"what?" he sat up and faced you

You two had gotten ready quickly around 6pm and waited in the lobby for your boyfriend, who you thought would be picking you up.

"I dont know" you shrug and pinch the bridge of your nose,

"hey its okay, i'll go back upstairs and get my keys...ill drive us" he patted your back as you looked at your feet.

"no its not that, I just....he's been acting so off and different. I sent him a cute message last night and he texted me back all lovey dovey this morning, now hes ignoring me, I cant take his fucking moodswings"

"im sorry" he mumbled, looking around at the busy lobby. "maybe...maybe I shouldnt go, like, do you think hes mad that we hung out last night?" he asked

"I dont know anymore, man" you look back at him, "I think we should just go, im not gonna hide from him...maybe I can get him to talk with me" you sigh and stand to your feet. "Im okay with you coming just really...keep your distance"

"from you?"

"from him"

he nods and stands, "okay, just wait here i'll get my keys"

The house party was loud, maybe too loud for an on campus event, especially considering it was only 7pm. You practically felt the music blaring inside of you as you timidly stepped into the crowded house. You were immediately met with the mixed aroma of sweat, alcohol, bath and body works perfume, and incense.

"eugh.." you turn to Taehyung and carefully grabbed his arm, leading him out of the busy room. "Just sit, im gonna go look for Kai an-"

"Y/N!"

you turn your head to be met with an already drunk Chae, bringing you into her sweaty arms.

"oh..hey, uh-"

"you need to come with me, we are doing Karaoke upstairs, and Im winning" she yelled, alcohol evident on her breath as it smacked your face.

"you can win Karaoke?" tae mumbled behind you

"yes, yes you can!!" she pointed at him and grabbed your arm, "lets go bitch"

"wait y/n, dont leave me" tae pouted and grasped your other arm.

"I promise ill be right back, okay?" you offered a slight apologetic smile before being whisked away by your friend upstairs, leaving the boy alone in a room full of unfamiliars.

As you made your way into some cleared out room, your eyes were drawn to the huge Karaoke machine set up. "woah..."

"Yeah woah cmon lets go sing a celine dion song"

"chae hold on, wheres Kaito?"

"who?"

you sighed and looked around before grabbing her shoulders, "my boyfriend, Kaito, I need to talk to him, like now. Tall, black hair, you know.....goes by kaito." you dramatically explained as you watched your best friends eyes widen

"Oh yeah.... he is mad at you" she snickered and was quickly distracted by other people, running away before you could question anything she had just said.

"what the fuck" you exhaled, pushing through everyone to try and find kai.

Meanwhile, Taehyung navigated the party downstairs as he awkwardly made his way to the kitchen. There was no order of cleanliness, there was no organization, and the looks of all the mixed red solo cups scattered throughout the entire room kind of disgusted him. He didnt trust any of it, he lifted up a bottle of what looked like tequila and sniffed it, nope, definitely not tequila.

He gave up on finding something to sip on, leaning against the kitchen island as he peered around the large space that seemed too loud for his liking.

Perhaps this was how you felt last night in the art museum.

" 'scuse me" a voice came up beside the boy, making him quickly turn his head and try to figure out who was talking to him, the dim lighting making it difficult.

"what?"

"youre standing in front of the vodka. excuse me" the man repeated, only then did Taehyung understand and scoot over to the side, allowing access to the alcohol. "sorry" he murmured.

"dont think Ive seen you around" the man joked, smiling as he poured and mixed two different bottles into his cup. "whats your name?"

Taehyung looked down to his feet and quickly decided if he should lie or be honest, figuring that these were all college kids, and well, he was not.

"uh, im taehyung. Kim taehyung" he decided, holding out his hand in a gesture of a handshake.

The man looked down and chuckled, ignoring the greeting and looking up at tae. "yeah? you seem unsure"

"yes, thats my name. sorry, i dont usually do parties and shit"

"i can tell man" he took a sip of his drink, audibly wincing before smiling. "Im Jungkook"

Tae raised his brow in acknowledgment

"wanna drink? you look tense" jungkook patted his shoulder and offered him a sip of his own cup, which taehyung reluctantly drank from.

"eugh, jesus christ, that tastes awful"

"I know, but it will get you fucked up" jungkook shrugged,

"hey jungkook wheres Jin at? he said he wou-" a voice came into the kitchen, stopping abruptly when he stood in front of Tae.

"hey" taehyung swallowed harshly

well. he found kaito.

Kaitos eyes drunkingly looked over his figure, a look of disgust and only disgust is what best could be described as his reaction to him being here.

"ah no way, you guys know eachother?" jungkook looked between the two of them happily,

"sort of..." taehyung chuckled, feeling sweat develop on his neck and back.

"wheres y/n?" he asked, looking at him intensly

"Uh, I genuinely dont know...she went away with chae and-"

"wait, y/n is here?" jungkook interrupted, stepping between them both.

"yeah" they both said at the same time before meeting eachothers eyes again.

"dude.....where is she? shes hot as hell" he whisper yelled, peaking into the next room excitedly.

Taehyung glared at the boy, waiting to see kaitos reaction.

"I know, shes my girlfriend"

"no shit dude!" jungkook slapped kaitos back, now ignoring tae completely. "lucky ass"

"nah man" they both stood a few feet away from tae in the doorway, speaking quietly. "she got the worst personality, stuck up as hell. walks and talks as if she doesnt know the only reason boys talk to her is for her tits" he slurs and bursts out laughing

"damn thats harsh man... even for you"

"whatever, i dont care. you can probably have her next...." he sipped his beer quickly

Taehyung felt the anger course through his chest, he wanted to run up and say something, but frankly, he was scared of Kaito, and you had mentioned something about him when he was drunk. If this was it, yeah, its scary.

He immediately stormed out of the room and pushed through the crowd to search for you, the music now blasting louder than before. He quickly walked up to someone familiar by the stairs

"Dahyun, is Y/N around? is she upstairs?"

"taehyung!" she hugged him, "uh...I think? Chae is probably working her. shes ok im sure" she giggled and dragged him over to a lighter area. "look at my manicure! give me an honest opinion. Jimin said it wasnt work $80 bucks and I should just do them myself now, but I think its cute and-"

she went on and on about something that had nothing to do with him for what seemed like forever. Whos jimin? who cares its just a manicure?

he thought to himself as he smiled and nodded.

"they look good, gotta go" he quickly spoke, politely tapping her shoulder before making a dash upstairs. He checked each door, opening up a bathroom to expose two randoms making out.

"oh! uh, im sorry" he covered his eyes and slammed the door shut, walking to the other hall and entering a loud and packed room. "hey chae..." he walked up to the girl, who was in the middle a very intense just dance session with some other poor girl who fell victim.

"heEyy!!" she slurred and danced over to him

He smiled and caught her as she tripped, helping her up. "whats upppp?"

He laughed and made sure she was able to stand on her own before speaking. "do you know where Y/N is?"

"did you see my dancing?" she randomly questioned

"yes, I saw your dancing chae, very nice, now have you seen y/n?"

she looked around curiously before speaking, "oh, yeah, she went to the bathroom!" she yelled into his face

"great, thanks" he gave a thumbs up as he went back into the hall. well he knew which bathroom you werent in.

He trailed down the hall and walked into a bedroom that seemed to be empty, he gently called out your name.

"I'll be out in a second" you shout back, making him exhale in relief. He shut the door to the bedroom and sat on the bed as he waited for you to exit the restroom.

"oh, tae, hi" you mumbled, walking out to him. "you okay?"

"y/n, we need to talk, like...now" he stood up as you made your way over, standing in front of him.

You saw the concern on his face as he spoke, clearing your throat. "wh-whats wrong? what happened?"

"I ran into Kaito and I think-

the door slowly creaked open, a certain someones head peaking in.

"Oh surprise surprise, youre in here with her" Kaito opened the door and walked over, stumbling over his feet.

You stepped closer to tae, feeling fear seep in as you took in your boyfriends very drunk state.

"get out" he looked at taehyung

"no im no-"

"just get the fuck out" he bit

"Taehyung please its okay just go" your voice choked, eyes tearing up as you led him to the door.

"dont let him do anything" he whispered, as you shut the door in his face, making him take a deep breath as he paced through the busy hall outside.

You slowly turned to the boy, waiting for him to speak.

"so, I know that...maybe this is not the best time or whatever to bring this up, but im ready to just..." he began, pausing after words as his thought process was slowed.

"ready to what?" you fidgeted with your bracelets, keeping by the door in case he tried to touch you again.

"move on with my life" he laughed and looked at you.

"wh..what?"

"y/n lets be honest, you dont give two fucking shits about me anymore, so why are we doing this. you dont care, you never have"

you scoffed, "Kaito you are drunk...stop this please, you have no idea what youre saying! How dare you say I dont care about you when all ive done is worry about where you have been and why you are upset!"

"oh please" he stood up and walked around. "you wouldnt care if I died tomorrow, you would find the next boy toy to move on to."

"stop" you mumble, "im not like that, you are being an awful person to me right now"

he walked over and laughed, "why? because im calling you out? calling you out for being a whore?"

you bit the inside of your cheek to avoid breaking out in tears right then and there. you couldnt even speak, you were too afraid and frankly confused on what even caused this sudden outburst.

"you are the one crying? really? I should be upset, I am upset."

he shook his head as he looked at you, " I dont think theres anything left for us right now, so just leave it at that, yeah?" he mumbled into your face as you shoved you aside, allowing him to open the door.

You were shocked, you planned on coming to fix whatever was going on between you both, all of the stressing, just to for him to get drunk and break up with you in some random bedroom. no.

You carefully grasped his arm before he left, "kai, please dont do this" you whispered, his arm forcefully pulling away from you. "dont"

Kaito stormed through the people out in the hall, making his way down the stairs as your eyes met taehyungs. You avoided stopping to talk with him as you decided to run after Kaito.

You were embarrassed. You tried to convince tae that you were in a happy and loving relationship, the little lie was now unraveling as the night ensued right in front of him and your friends.

"wait, please" you called out, following your boyfriend into the living room where the music blared. you tried your best to weave through as best you could, finally catching up to the boy and attempting to reason with him once more.

"baby please can we just talk?" you ask loudly, facing his back as he stood in the crowd.

"No, dont call me that" he mumbled.

"Y/N!!! whats up!" Jungkook ran out of the kitchen to your side, smiling and hugging you. "nice to formally meet you, are you enjoyin- why are you crying?" he pulled away and took in your appearance

"Im sorry Im just dealing with something" you calmly tried to explain, kaito turning around to the both of you. "dont listen to a word this slut says" he bit, making you swallow harshly.

Jungkook looked taken back, his eyes meeting yours sympathetically. "hey, cmon man, dont....dont say that. youre having another beer?" he asked, genuinely concerned for his friends behavior.

Taehyung pushed through and made his way to the living room, eyes wandering for you. He assumed it was best to just leave now, unaware of what had gone down just a few moments prior. He found you standing next to Kaito and Jungkook, watching from afar as he contemplated going over and taking you away.

"dont touch me" kaito shivered away from your touch, making you sigh. "lets go home to my apartment, we need to talk and get you sober, youve drunk too much" you spoke, looking at jungkook for support.

"yeah cmon, listen to her. its probably whats best." he nodded

Kaito looked down with anger at his feet as you stared at him for a moment, you were hesitant to speak any further, but the boy needed help and never listened. He needed to get sober and then probably never drink again. this....wasnt kaito.

"lets just go please? I'll take care of you sweetheart its okay, I-" your hand gently reached out to hold onto his jaw, carefully caressing it as you tried to get him to pick his head up.

You werent sure what exactly had happened, all you knew is that one second you were reasoning with him, the next, the side of your face was burning in pain.

Kaito had pulled back and struck you to the ground.

before you knew it there was a crowd of people surrounding the incident, Jungkook pulling Kaito away as he spit words out at you, none of which you could hear. The music had faded out of your hearing, and the lights were hazed. Your face burned with shame as you struggled to stand up, eyes watching you with concern and shock.

You felt hands immediately pick you up to your feet, turning to see it was Taehyung. You tried to explain but you didnt even comprehend what was coming out of your mouth.

he looked pale, in more pain than you were. His eyes glanced over you and back at kaito as he felt rage fill throughout him, carefully setting you aside as he approached the other boy and suddenly punched him across the face, the room gasping immediately.

"hey- fuck! stop guys!!!" Jungkook tried to seperate them, but there was no use. Taehyung had kaito by his collar, fist repeatedly punching into his face as he fell to the floor, blood on his skin and clothing.

You stood back, unable to fully understand what the fuck was happening. Once it kicked into your mind, your feet were racing over to him, yanking on the back of his shirt. "stop!!! Taehyung stop!!!!" you screamed, other guests joining in to help stop it as well. Your friends stood in the corner, shocked at what they had just witnessed.

"are you okay, miss?" some random man came up, asking you as you realized how many people had been around, asking you questions, none you even heard or noticed.

Someone finally pulled Taehyung away from kaito, who had passed out against the cold tile, nose and mouth bleeding as you watched in horror.

"What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU?" you screamed at Taehyung, grabbing onto his shirt and shaking him, tears spilling as he looked down at you.

He didnt respond, he let you flip out as people tried to fix up the unconscious boy on the floor.

"you guys gotta go, fuck, the police were called" Jin ran out and spoke loudly, cueing the group of people to run out the door.

"we need to go" Taehyung spoke flatly, gently grasping your arms as he directed you out the door.

He led you to the car and put you into the back seat before getting into the drivers side. He didnt drive right away, instead he looked down at his bruised fist.

"why...why didnt you say anything to me"

You had curled up into the fetal position, tears falling down your cheeks as you tried to look out the window.

"all this time....all this time he was doing this and you never-" he stopped, leaning his head against the headrest and closing his eyes.

"im sorry" you choke out.

He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself so he could speak, let alone drive.

"we will have to talk, about all of this"

"what if you get in trouble?" you whisper

"I didnt do anything wrong, he fucking hit you. He hit a woman, they all saw it" he spoke louder, voice shaky.

you sniffled, the pain in your face and head suddenly becoming really obvious, making you wince.

"are you okay? shit, lets uh, lets get you to a hospital or something" he started his car

"no...I just need Ice"

"what if you have a concussion?"

you groan, "I dont, taehyung, he hit my cheekbone and jaw" you trace your hand over your face, hissing at the sharp sting.

"Im still gonna take you to a walk in clinic, im not risking it. we will go home and sleep right after, I dont want to hear you argue about anything tonight. Tomorrow morning we need to sit and talk." he sternly spoke, making his way down the street.

You didnt have the energy to fight, you were mad, but you didnt have the energy.

You were upset with Taehyung for making the situation worse, but you were even more mad with Kaito. you felt betrayed, he humiliated you in front of everyone you know. He put his hands on you, after saying he would never do it again, over what? nothing.

"there is no signs of concussion, but there will be signifigant bruising and damaged nerves." the doctor read over her chart as you sat in a hospital bed, taehyung by your side. it was late, you missed your bed, you missed Yeontan. You didnt think you would be here, especially for this reason.

"thats..good, better than having something serious" he exhaled

"do you wish to file a report against the person who did this to you?"

Tae opened up his mouth to speak, but you cut in

"no, its already being taken care of, thank you though"

She nodded sadly and walked off, giving you too permission to go home.

you felt over your cheek, now covered with bandages.

"Im so sorry" he whispered, looking at you.

"tae.."

"no, im sorry. im so fucking sorry. I know I shouldnt have done that, but I.....I saw him hit you. I saw him hit you, y/n."

"i know" you mumbled, looking down.

"when I saw it happening, I just couldnt control myself. It was wrong of me, I take blame, but jesus y/n...."

"I know..." you repeated, voice cracking slightly. "tae please I just wanna go home, okay? I dont wanna relive it right now"

He nodded softly, standing to get to your side. "yeah, lets go home." he held your ice pack for you, leading you back to the car.

The sounds of the city surrounding you infiltrated your ears. You really couldve been anywhere in the world tonight, but here you were, in this position.

You knew you shouldnt have gone to the party, you regret it with your whole being, because not only did you suffer, but you dragged Taehyung into it too.

You had yourself to blame. you wanted to cry and scream but all you could do is lay in bed that night once you got home as taehyung gently rubbed your back, reassuring you that it would be okay.

Yeah, about that thing you said earlier, about assuming your twenties would be fantastic and amazing......11 year old you needed a reality check.

taglist:

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

70 notes · View notes