#its ok if you don't want to read this

[collophora]

Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness

(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

got a worm nibbling my brain. can someone help me find a piece of obscure media?

webcomic/indie comic from the 2010s. basically a sci-fi short story about a young girl (with red hair?) who was being raised by scientists as part of an experiment. she receives a haircut/has her head shaved, in preparation for her annual brain scan/testing. it is revealed that while her body is human, her "brain" is artificial, made of computer implants throughout her skull and spine. at some point her biological mother (also a scientist on the same campus?) encounters her and is repulsed, viewing her as a machine who has murdered her daughter.

it was very poignant and it bruised my heart and i can NOT find it anywhere

[mamawasatesttube]

timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done

[plush-rabbit]

Sinner!Adam Pt. 2

A/N: This was supposed to go together with another chapter, but it was gonna get too long, and I still need to fix it so yeah. Word Count: 3K

-

Your steps are quick, and you have to slow yourself down. You’re far too giddy- your heart beating against your chest, making your ears burn hot at the shell. Demons and other hellion citizens already glance your way, some of them craning their head to watch where you go so eagerly- so willingly without an escort. It’s been far too long since you’ve been seen out. You need to relax. Your stomach twists itself into knots, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you walk down the street. It’s been a while since you had actual eyes looking at you, and you have to tell yourself that no one cares about you, that it’s their curiosity, but they have no real thoughts about you. You come to a slow pace, restrained to a painful degree, with energy threatening to burst at the seams and leave you a mess.

It should come to no surprise that others look at you- some of them follow your figure until the crowd hides you long enough for you to disappear. While dating Lucifer had come with its perks early on in the relationship- such as bodyguards wherever you’d go, or even stores being reserved just for you- all of that dwindled along with the relationship. You never needed anything more than what you can just order online, and you hid yourself in the castle along with him. You never dared to leave, always worried of what you might hear from the people. But even so, that doesn’t stop the tabloids from theorizing about your relationship, or whether you’re still around or hiding in another ring.

You’ve forgotten what it was like to walk down the street. The anxiety. The fear. The skip in your step. The excitement. Leaving the castle that night to go and drink was something that you don’t regret. You haven’t felt like this in a long time, and it’s almost painful, but the warmth in your chest makes it bearable.

Turning the corner, you spot Adam sitting down on a table outside a restaurant. He’s slouched in the chair, his drink in front of him, as he scrolls on his phone. Hell’s citizens make a very obvious attempt to not get near him. You, however, make your way towards him, unable to hide the bounce in your step, unable to stop the grin.

“Adam!” You call when you’re just close enough, raising your hand in a wave. He looks up, startled, eyes wide and mouth partially agape. When he realizes it’s you, he gives you a lazy grin, lifting his hand up in greeting. 

The chair scrapes against the ground, and you sit across from him, your legs criss crossing under the table. It’s only when you’ve sat that you notice another drink, partially hidden by the other. “Took you long enough,” he tells you without any real annoyance in his words. He places his phone face down, and pushes an unopened drink towards you. “Didn’t know what you wanted, and the waiters were being annoying about having to order.”

You smile apologetically, grabbing the drink with your hands. The condensation wets your hands, cooling them down and hiding any bit of sweat that you may have had. “Sorry for taking a bit longer than expected,” you tell him. He gives you an expecting look and you tap the top of the drink with your nail. “Charlie needed me for a bit, but I had no idea how long it would actually take.”

“Couldn’t you just say no?’

Opening the drink, you watch as the fizz climbs up the neck of the bottle. “I could have. But I like helping Charlie. She’s a good kid.” Adam pushes the menu towards you- his nails sharpened, gleaming under the light.

“Fuck that,” he snarls, “damn cunt can throw a punch.”

“Adam,” you call in warning. “You’re cool and all, but I won’t let you disrespect Charlie,” your voice goes low and he’s aware of you for a moment, his eyes canning you, as if the realization that you are an actual demon and he is no longer in possession of angelic steel has clicked. “You came into her home and targeted her friends and family, and her people.” Your hand reaches over and you grasp his hand tightly, your nails sinking into the flesh of his hand. “You can bitch about whatever you want with me, but not about her. Understood?”

“Yes,” he says quickly. Compared to other hellions, you aren’t the most threatening, but a demon is a demon, and he’s learned that lesson.

You smile. “Great!”  You let go of his hand, letting yours return to your side of the table. “I haven’t been here before. How did you even find this place?”

As the words leave your mouth, someone comes to your table and clears their throat. You look up to see a hellhound with their teeth bared, as they glower at Adam. It seems as though his reputation exceeded far past just the Sinner hate, but also to the other residents of Hell. You shouldn’t be surprised- Hellborn and Sinners were near the bottom of the food chain, many of them were probably friends, or more. You wouldn’t be surprised if Exorcists had even murdered Hellborn just for the hell of it.

The hound before you stands tall, their fur on its end as they speak to Adam. You wonder if Adam can feel the disdain and hatred. It isn’t as if others are masking it- if anything it’s apparent. He isn’t just a Sinner- no, he’s much lower than that. You’d be terrified in his position, you’d never leave your home if you knew without a doubt that others couldn’t stand you. You wonder why he even goes out at all. You wonder how long he was alone in Hell for until you two met and became friends. You couldn’t fathom being all alone in a new place- especially one where you’re so obviously hated.

“And for you?” Their tone is noticeably different towards you. You had missed what Adam ordered, and you skim over the menu, choosing one of the first things you see as to not keep the waiter at the table.

“Oh, um this.” You point at the menu item, crossing your ankle over the other, cringing internally as you hadn’t repeated the menu item out loud. “Please.” The hound nods, and with a bow, they leave the table. You look up at Adam, who is busy staring down at his nearly empty drink. “What did you get?”

“The service here sucks,” he says in disgust. His lips curl in anger, his hands flat against the table. He grumbles something under his breath, and you glance to your side.

“They’re probably just tired,” you attempt to reason. Perhaps it's to protect him, even if he knows the reason why service is less than subpar. You wonder how long it took him to find a bar that would have him, or even a place to rent. Adam gives you an angry sort of look, but it quickly softens when you cock your head to the side. “I um- Sorry again if you were waiting for long,” you say softly. You shouldn’t have taken long- Charlie could have waited, but you lived in a  moment where Adam wasn’t the most hated in Pride Ring, where he could stomach waiting for a few moments alone in a street full of Hell’s citizens. 

He stays quiet, and brings his drink closer to him. “You look freaked walking down the street,” he says after a moment, his words tense, and slow as if he isn’t sure that that is what he wanted to say.

You shrug, attempting to play cool, but your bouncing leg gives you away. “It’s um, it’s been a while since I left the castle. When I- When we met that night, I wasn’t thinking clearly- I was a bit melodramatic and I guess, I just wanted the attention that I had gone out alone.” You twist your hands with each other, and you let your worry show, unable to settle it. 

“From?” You furrow your brows. “The attention you wanted.”

You bow your head and tap the tips of your shoes against the sidewalk. “Lucifer,” you whisper, his name heavy on your tongue, and shame resting like a weighted blanket over you.

“Did you get it?” You thin your lips and shake your head. Adam pulls a face, and leans back into his chair. “Sucks.”

“Yeah, well, I expected it. I mean, it still hurt, but ya know, what can you do.” You give a smile to Adam, and it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Before, when we were good, um, he would assign guards to me.”

Adam perks up at the mention. “Really?” He sounds shocked.

“As much as Hell is my home, it’s um, not exactly safe. Especially when you’re dating royalty. So, Lucifer thought it was best that if I was to leave on my own, I would have guards assigned to me. He said that it was too dangerous for me to leave on my own. I didn’t really believe him-” you wave your hand in the air- “I thought he was being controlling, until I almost got kidnapped.” You snort at the end, resting your cheek against your knuckles. 

“Almost?” Adam leans closer, now intrigued.

“I’m guessing Heaven really was safe compared to here,” you say. He gives you a look as if to say “duh”. You smile at him. “Probably for ransom or some demon who really hates royalty. One of the hellhounds assigned to me found my scent and killed the demon.”

“Oh,” he almost sounds shocked.

“Yeah, she tore out his throat.”

“You still got them around?” He asks, excitement laced into his words. You wonder how much he misses the carnage and bloodshed. “You know, in case I gotta watch out or something,” he tries to cover up, but you can see the way that his body comes to an alert, wanting and waiting for a reason to fight.

With an apologetic smile, you shake your head. “No, they returned to Beelzebub.” He raises a brow. “She handles Hellhounds. She’s down in gluttony, and she throws these big parties most of the time. People go over and they gorge themselves there- feeds into her sin, ya know?” You end, with a wave of your hand, unsure if he really needed an explanation or not.

“Did you care that they left?”

You shrug. “At first I did. I- I have this bad habit of-” you stop yourself- you want to see the good in people, you want to believe that they liked you as much as you like them- “well, it’s not important. But um, we were close, but I think that’s only because they were meant to guard me. But once Lucifer and I hit our rough patch and well I stopped going out as much.” You glance up at him, and quickly look away, interlocking your hands together. “He hardly made public appearances unless it was to visit the embassy-” you gesture to Adam with your hand- “or to visit one of the sins. And we hardly went on dates, so there was no reason to keep the guards around.” You look up at Adam and he’s silent, his brows slightly furrowed, creating small wrinkles between the space. “I’m sorry,” you say, embarrassment hot on your cheeks, “I didn’t mean to bring up Lucifer.” 

The waiter returns, your order served on porcelain plates. The hound only gives you a passing glance, their eyes returning to Adam, narrowing in resentment. A check is already placed in between the two of you, the hound standing tall, intimidatingly so. 

“Why the fuck are we getting the check already?” Adam asks, his body tense and expression matching the hound’s. 

“So you don’t run off.”

“Oh for fuck’s-”

“I got it!” You chirp quickly, reaching into your wallet to pull out a large bill. You gather it with the check, and hand it the hound. “Keep the change,” you tell them, adding a smile at the end of your words, hoping that that is enough to keep everything at bay.

The waiter glances between your hand and you, and takes it gently in their hand. They mumble a halfhearted thank-you under their breath and walk away. 

“What the fuck was that?” Adam asks. You take a sip of your drink, trying to find the right words. “I have money to pay for shit.”

“I don’t like confrontation. And it seemed like the two of you were going to get into it.” You kick your legs out, and your shoe bumps against Adam’s. “It just seemed easier to make them happy and leave us alone. But um, you can pay next time if you’d like.”

He scoffs. “You know I used to get shit for free in Heaven.” You scoff out a short laugh, your smile tender compared to his. “You don’t even get shit for free here.” 

You laugh at the statement, covering your smile with your hand. “No, unfortunately, you have to prove yourself down here. Between you and I, before your last extermination, not a lot of demons respected Charlie. She kinda had to prove herself and she did- that’s why she had cannibals on her side in the last extermination. Not a lot of people respect me- I never gave them a reason to care about me. I’m not famous or scary. I’m simply a demon who got lucky to be in Lucifer’s grace.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. There’s silence for a moment as you bite into your pastry. “Where would you go with him?”

“With Lucifer?” You ask, and he nods, his eyes fixated on his own plate. He moves the food around with a fork, letting it tear and poke through the food. “We’d do the usual stuff like dinner. But he’d take me to the other rings, sometimes. We’d go to Ozzie’s and have dinner and Asmodeus would have some of his best dancers perform for us. Or we’d go to Loo Loo Land and watch Fizzorolli at the circus.”

“Loo Loo Land?” Adam pulls a face at the name of the amusement park. 

“Oh, um Lucifer owns Lu Lu World, and Mammon- Greed- ripped it off, and made his own amusement park called Loo Loo Land. It’s nothing like Lu Lu World, but we would make fun of the rides, and it’s definitely not up to code.”

“Fucking asshole made an amusement park.”

You snort and take another bite off your plate. Covering your mouth with your hand, you swallow your food quickly. “I think you’d like it. The rides at least. But probably not all the Lucifer imagery.”

He scoffs and takes a bite of his meal. With a full mouth, he asks. “And now? What do ya’ll do?” 

“Well now, I beg him to eat with me, but I stopped doing that a while ago. I hated feeling dumb when he wouldn’t show up. But, I never really learn my lesson.” You look at him through your lashes, giving him a small smile, the corners only lifting for a brief moment before they fall. 

It’s silent for a moment, and you despise yourself for talking about Lucifer again. “I’m surprised you showed up today,” Adam says, his gaze turned the other way to watch hellions pass by. There’s a light tint that dusts over his cheeks, and he taps his nails on the table, the rhythm slow and controlled, jittering for just a second. 

Your hands are over the table, and with something sweet in your chest, you reach out to him. For the briefest second, the shortest moment, your fingers are outstretched, reaching to grab his hand, and when you catch his eyes, you let your hand slowly curl into a fist. “Of course, I came.” This must be how it feels to have a crush, to get excited over someone. “You invited me.” You’re screwed. In every possible way, you’re fucked. Adam entertained you enough for you to come at his beck and call, and you’re sure that you’re wide eyes and flustered, all smiles and laughter with him. “We are friends after all.” You want to hold his hand again. You need to hold him again, to feel his warmth, the callousness on his palms and fingertips. 

His eyes stare into your own, and you hold your breath. His lips part, and there’s uncertainty in the way that he holds himself, a speck of vulnerability that you had the grace of witnessing all those nights ago. And in the blink of an eye, it’s gone. His smile is sharp, and playful- too mischievous and out of sorts compared to before. “Friends with a fucking demon,” he scoffs, looking down at his plate, his smile stretched a bit too wide. “Who would have thought?”

The acknowledgement of his perceiving you as a friend, has you perk up in your seat. It’s been far too long since you’ve had friends. And while you think you want more, having him as a friend is enough to make the warmth in your chest spread. Dating a king left you too out of touch, too removed to connect with others. And those at the castle don’t even respect you, they can only tolerate you- a false partner, one undeserving of any title unlike the Queen before you. You’re happy- ecstatic, overjoyed. You have someone who likes you, who- in such a childlike glee- wants to be your friend. 

“Can you imagine that? An exorcist and a demon?” Your smile is wide, and you lean towards him, your body buzzing in excitement. “I’m sure that if you saw me out in the streets, you’d have attempted to kill me.”

“No attempts at anything, doll.” Adam points a finger at you, his smile proud and predatory. “I’d have spilled your guts all over the grimy ass floor.” His eyes gleam under the light, his smile scrunching up his eyes.

“Ha!” You snort. “You’re absolutely the worst.” Your laughter fills the air, and you light and bubbly. When you look at him again, he’s smiling gently at you, and it makes your laughter fade away. His hands are on the table, and you busy your hands with your food, hoping that the want to hold him will go away.

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

[wallbeatjournal]

Are true riverdale fans of the opinion it is a very good and nearly flawless show or does being a true riverdale fan mean being able to mock writing choices

it's long-running serial television plotted a season/half at a time so definitely not even "nearly" flawless.

BUT. i'm not doing combat with the writing team. i'm not actively reading against the text the way i have to in order to enjoy something like supernatural or the 90s robin comics or the fucking sopranos, which are patriarchal christiancore copworld rapeworld white supremacist horrorshows that hate their minority audiences, with like 2 good creatives involved and martyring themselves to fight the good fight on sparse rare installments if you try to approach them sincerely.

riverdale writing staff are like a favorite smart problematic tumblr mutual to me. I don't always like what's on their blog or who they're referencing. but we're in the same community and i'm interested and inspired and i trust their agenda overall, even when i see shit i wouldn't have fucking posted. but bc i'm not being condescended to or actively spited i'm not gonna condescend to or spite them, you know?

i expect rvd to age like twin peaks (another very uneven, highly referential serial juggling a couple of intensely cool metanarratives on top of its core story). and twin peaks fandom mocks twin peaks all the time. twin peaks includes some CLUNKY shit. it's kitsch. it's camp. it has a second season that is largely ASS. james is there. and on top of that it also includes some genuinely offputting-to-me stuff that just bothers me to sit through, even though i feel like i understand and respect what they're going for with it. i just don't want to watch someone sweep the fucking bar for minutes and minutes as entertainment. OK!!?

...so yeah. mock riverdale but in the right spirit. is that an answer? do i sound like i'm chugging the flavoraid koolaid fresh-aid? probably.

[aulerean]

[can-of-slorgs]

Local owlbear, what she gonna explodee✨

[juicyspacesecrets]

Happy Halloween!!! 😊😊😊

at this point don’t expect me to get anything out on time.....

[grinchwrapsupreme]

being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

[drakesvalley]

So introjection right. That thing where you internalize external things and they manifest as alters/traits/etc somehow. This isn't going to be about being treated like your source character.

This is about being treated as a source character.

We're pretty open about ourselves. We love talking about our experiences and what goes on in our head. We often draw ourselves and share it online because it makes us happy.

In the one public system space we hang out in, people have introjected us as alters from time to time. Which is OK I guess. We honestly don't mind that in particular. It happens. Especially with how we present ourselves publicly.

As long as you still remember we are real people with real feelings.

It's actually really really weird being referred to as a source. As something to be consumed. As something to take the bits and pieces of that you like. As something on the same level as a fictional character.

I know introjects of real people (aka factives) exist, but we're not a public figure or content creator. We're just some guy with DID and us as alters are a direct representative of that. We deal with some really rough shit actually and I don't Particularly enjoy that being taken in a light way.

One of us has a "stage name" for example. He doesn't use it normally. He hates using it unless he's actively going through it. It's a very direct metaphor for something that happened to us.

Seeing someone introject him, take that name and use it casually is very fucking uncomfortable actually!!

I guess like. If something like this happens, please talk to us about it. Please ask us directly where our boundaries lie. Ask the person in question if they are OK with you using the same profile picture, or name, or anything. I want people to communicate with us about that kind of stuff. So we don't have a major mutual freakout over it.

And... please, if someone is uncomfortable. Don't try to justify it with saying you can't control introjection and that it happens very easily for you. What happens in your head happens, but you can control how you respond to it. And deflecting someone else's discomfort with you taking their trauma responses isn't the way to go about it.

[devildarlindumbass]

Who up finally realising why a bunch of friendships ended with friends awkwardly confessing to them

[arcaneyouth]

here's to all the art that will never be known by anyone other than its creator. for whatever reason that is. i love you art that i'll never get to know, especially if it is intended to be that way. i love you art that exists in the nooks and crannies. i love you art that gets destroyed by the creators choice. i love you art that exists only for one. i love you art that will never be defined by anyone except the one who made it. i love you art that will never even leave the creators head. i love you art that simply is

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[saline-coelacanth]

Sonic Prime actually made me cry man ow my heart

[confetti-critter]

The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I