Tumgik
#ive been dissociating all week!
identityquest · 24 days
Text
Tumblr media
check out the shirt i got for my birthday :)
158 notes · View notes
m0thcl0wn · 25 days
Text
Tumblr media
Luffy week day four: i still have my friends
699 notes · View notes
faggotslime · 2 months
Text
having a burnout meltdown at work haha
6 notes · View notes
fiendishartist2 · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
i cant speak and i cant move and i cant stop thinking
6 notes · View notes
ev1lmorty · 3 months
Text
checking notifications n seeing this n immediately dissociating n having to remind myself this is not a blockable offense but i wish it were
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
girlwithfish · 4 months
Text
guys what if i started smoking cigarettes. or just got a hobby. or became obsessed w one person. hahaha
4 notes · View notes
magnoliamyrrh · 7 months
Text
.
4 notes · View notes
feralghxuls · 11 months
Text
im just saying. where mountain is from in the pit is all dark caves and he only ever saw other ghouls to chase them out of his territory or when he was getting chased out of someone's territory
he gets summoned and suddenly everything is so bright and so loud and there are so many people talking to him all the time and so many scents everywhere. he has no social skills. he's constantly overstimulated. how else is he supposed to handle that except to dissociate into oblivion
4 notes · View notes
mediculling · 2 years
Text
ha+chday.
11 notes · View notes
rotturn · 1 year
Text
every day on this trip is worse
#i can not stand my sister at all i truly can't#she's been yelling and arguing for 10 minutes because she has her hair straightner but mum doesnt have a plug converter#and she keeps yelling ab how her fringe is fucked when it looks literally the same as it has this entire trip#and is yelling ab how its mums fault as if she couldn't have bought this shit herself before we left#i am just. so over this#any fun that would come from being on an international trip is immediately taken away by my mum and sister constantly getting angry#and either yelling or getting passive aggressive and making me feel horrible its just so tiring#bc i feel like such a fucking asshole for not enjoying an international trip that i will never get the opportunity for again#like this cost so much money and it feels awful to say i dont want it or that its not fun or whatever#but i am constantly dissociating and trying not to cry and ive had meltdowns and panic attacks almost every day but im not allowed to show#them bc my sister tells me to calm down and not be so dramatic and everything is a sensory nightmare#and i have a very specific diet at home and its not available outside of nz and there arent really any worthy substitutes and even if there#are i wont know bc i dont speak the languages so im just living on shitty little protien drinks and hot chocolate which makes me feel worse#and on top of it all im sick and i havent had any chance to rest bc my sister wont stop ab going places and doing thingd#and gets pissy if i dont want to#and its just so fucking difficult i knew that being stuck w them for 2 months would suck but its been 1 week and i cant do this anymore#i have no other option but i seriously don't know what to do i don't know how to handle this im at my limit#travelling is stressful and anxiety inducing and its hard enough doing it once on my own#let alone every 2 or 3 days w family that rushes and runs late and has 10000 bags that never fucking fit on the trains#and its always me left standing in the aisle blocking peoples path with nowhere to go bc my sisters giant suitcase wont fit anywhere#i hate this so much and its making me hate all the cities and countries we go to bc i dont get to experience the places i only get#to experience fucking breakdowns and im constantly drinking water bc im constantly dehydrated from either crying or panicked breathing#its a mess and i hate it and i want to go home I haven't felt comfortable or safe since i left home and i wont feel either until i go back#but that isnt until the last couple days of january so i just have to keep dealing with things getting worse by the day#negative cw#rant cw#ask to tag cw
3 notes · View notes
broadswipeslideshow · 2 years
Text
damn .
#wow. it's been bad. like really bad?#ive had my shitty moments but i think the past week takes a place in the top 5#idk what the fuck has been wrong with me but oh my god i am horrible. a complete mess. i cannot even function right now#the amount of times i've dissociated the past couple of days is ??? crazy. never had that happen except 4 when i went through severe trauma#just.... i can't focus. my sight gets all fuzzy and i don't have the mental capacity to return to my body#i am just numb and lifeless and my entire being is dead weight. it's too much effort to move so i just stare into a blurry atmosphere#most of the time. wishing i was dead tbh.#every single day i think 'i'm gonna kill muself.' i say it to myself constantly#like a source of comfort or some fucked up shit#i swear to god i have missing time from the past week. like what was i doing all day? where did i go?#it kind of scares me and the fact that i think i'm hallucinating doesn't make it any better#i keep hearing voices that aren't there and i saw a cockroach in my bathroom.... but it wasn't one#it was just me imagining it plus it was way too fast to be one#but i literally gasped and flinched back and watched it go behind my toilet. yet it wasn't there#what the fuck is happening to me?#i should be happy. i got accepted into college. and yet i'm not. i'm worse than ever before#my dad doesn't even support me on this. i don't have anyone to talk to. and i just really want to fucking die#and idk. i always think to myself how much i hate myself but i never really took it that seriously#but then the other day i realized how much i truly believe and KNOW i am a bad person. i am not good.#like wow i guess i really do hate myself#starting to suspect i have bpd :/ never really thought abt it before#but from what i keep reading and seeing most of my symptoms match up perfectly#favorite person / self harm / mood swings / utter lack of care for myself / anger and resentment toward others all the time#so much shit idk. my therapist says i self harm but i really have no idea if what i do is considered self harm#i mean. i guess it has left scars. but i don't think i do it out of hatred for myself? but maybe i do#considering i've come to the conclusion that i fucking despise every aspect of myself#i don't think it's normal to put yourself in someone else's shoes and think 'why would they ever want to be friends with me?'#there's too many other things to say but. i'm stupid and ugly and i want to die and fuck my life lmao. i hate it here for real.
2 notes · View notes
steampunk-ghostxx · 3 months
Text
CAN I GET A BREAK PLEASE
Woke up 2 hours before my work alarm to discover my phone has the black screen of death suddenly, and I can't do anything about it right now. I'm going to have to call off work today, which is giving me major anxiety, and I'm going to have to scramble to try and find a way to get a new phone most likely. Today was SUPPOSED to be day 4 of 7 for work, but I can't go to work without a phone.
My mental state was already pretty fucking garbage, but now it's buried in the landfill.
0 notes
kazzzmataz · 5 months
Text
my new years resolution is to stop dissociating 🙏
0 notes
moonlitsnail · 1 year
Text
tonight was supposed to be relaxing but it just fucking sucked
1 note · View note
Text
y'all I can't stop thinking about cold island from my singing monster sped up
1 note · View note
writersdrug · 1 month
Note
COD men period comfort? 🥺
The way my period started right as I finished this... also, I have Endometriosis, so I wrote this with the idea that periods are very heavy and painful for the reader, sometimes making them bedridden. Shit's rough 🙃
CoD Headcannons: Comforting You While You're on Your Period
Fluff, slight nsfw, mentions of cramps and blood, mentions of fingerings, no "period? What's that?" behavior, these men are all educated, mentions of food anxiety, female anatomy
Tumblr media
Captain John Price
If this was a competition, Price would be the winner. He doesn't need to look at your tracker app to know it's around the corner, he recognizes the signs immediately. As soon as you begin to dissociate for more than a minute or two, accompanied by your grumbles of how you've been craving junk food lately, he knows it's coming.
He's very intuitive when it comes to your needs. He knows you'll want to call out of work the first few days, so he does it for you. That way, you won't be stressing over it the night before. He plugs in your heating pad (leaving the setting on off, for now), so it's ready when you need it. He fills your water bottle with cold water, he fills the nightstand drawer with iron and protein laden snacks, and he puts a fresh box of your preferred pain medication in there as well. The bathroom is stocked with pads/tampons, and he even makes sure that the remote to the telly is on the nightstand.
He forces you to stretch every morning. It's the one time he ignores your protests and drags you out of bed, insisting you would feel much better - and he was right every time. He'd have you sit with your feet pointed forwards, bending your back until you could touch your toes.
"Gonna join me, John?"
"Psh, you know I'd snap like a twig, love."
Then he'd have you on your hands and knees, kneeling beside you and slowly guiding you to stretch your arms and arch your back, keeping your bum in the air (let's be honest, he doesn't kneel behind you for this because he'd be keeping you in that position for a different reason). He'd have a hand on your lower back, whispering small praises as you groaned from the relief. Once you were in that position, convincing you to get up was another hassle.
He understands that you can have mood swings - he always reminds you that communication is best, and even if you aren't sure what you want, you should still talk to him. Let him know if you're feeling too overstimulated, if his presence is a bit too overbearing in that moment, or if you want him there - whether that's sitting in a chair next to the bath while you take a soak, his hand running over your hair, or if he's cradling you in bed, hands gently massaging your abdomen/lower back.
You feel a bit silly, sometimes - being treated like a porcelain doll. As you promised him you would, you communicate with John that you feel bad that he's pampering you so much, and that you can't exactly return the favour at the moment. He'd listen, never shushing you or interrupting you, and at the end of your venting, he'd assure you that not only is this his obligation as your partner, but it's also something he enjoys doing - looking after you when you need it most.
As for making it up? "We'll explore what options there are when you're feeling up t' it" (He's talking about ovulation week).
Tumblr media
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
You tell Gaz when your period is coming. He's not as intuitive as Price, but he appreciates that you let him know, and he helps you plan for the next few days. You go shopping together, stocking up on snacks, meds, and Liquid IV (Gaz had originally introduced you to it, and now it's an essential when you're on your period).
He once bought you a period massager that you found online. You thought it was the best invention ever, with both a massage and a heat setting, but it never could compare to Gaz's hands. You eventually ended up putting it on a shelf in the closet after telling him through tears, all while he massaged your stomach, that it felt like you were replacing him, and you hated it. You wanted to throw the damn thing away, but he convinced you that you might change your mind later.
Gaz treats this time of the month like it's the most normal thing in the world. Of course, he pampers you, giving you cuddles when you want them and helping you through the emotional shipwreck in your mind, but he knows you don't like feeling like you're helpless. So he does it all in the most nonchalant way possible. He'll play video games with you as the both of you lounge in bed; whenever you want a snack, he grabs one for himself (partially because you mentioned once that you don't like eating by yourself, partially because he's always hungry).
He refers to your period in different ways each time it comes around. "Is it shark week?" "I got you some more tampons, babe, for the ritual." Or, his favorite, when he sees you scowling at your period tracker app: "Ya got mad cow disease again, luv?"
He'll watch true crime with you per your request, but he's not thrilled about it. You've had to correct him multiple times that it's not about the killing, it's about the mystery of solving each murder that intrigues you. More often than not, you'll look up from where you're laying on his chest, and he'll be watching the telly with a grimace.
"What's wrong, Kyle?"
"It was the landlord - guy looks fishy, and his alibi is shit."
Tumblr media
Johnny "Soap" Mactavish
Johnny understands what a period is - he's a smart man. However, when it comes to your cravings and raging emotions, he's like a devil on your shoulder. If you thought you were impulsive during this time of the month, he only adds fuel to the fire.
He comes back after a trip to the grocery store, announcing that he purchased everything you need for the next few days. The "everything" in question? Crisps, wine, and candy (your favorite candy, sure, but not much chocolate). You don't have the heart to tell him that, while you enjoy all the snacks and alcohol he bought, it's not necessarily the best food for your period - although, the part of your brain that was craving it was thanking him over and over.
You would be lying on top of him on the sofa, the telly playing a show that had been neglected by the both of you. He'd be rubbing your lower back with one hand and massaging your scalp with the other, listening to you as you tearfully explained how much you missed your childhood family dog, a husky named Janet.
"- and she was so cuddly and protective- *sniff*- and she- did I tell you, she used to howl when I cried, like- like she was crying with me? God, I miss her-"
"Sweetheart, why don' we just get ye a pup, eh? A husky, just like Janet, and ye can both howl together whenever ye feel like it."
"No- *sniff*- no, Johnny, we shouldn't-"
"Why not? It'll keep ye company when ah'm away. Ah've always wanted a pup myself, y'know."
It really didn't take much more convincing than that. The next day, Johnny was walking into the flat, holding a husky pup cradled in one arm, and a bag of dog toys and food in the other. You had already forgotten his suggestion to get the dog, and would have scolded him for being so impulsive, but the cuteness aggression had already set in. You squealed and ran over to Johnny, crying happy tears between peppering his face with kisses and cooing at the puppy. He had the proudest smile on his face, seeing how much happier you looked compared to the day before.
Oh, and if you tell this man your breasts are sore? He's running across the room, fast enough to break the sound barrier, to offer you a helping hand (or two).
Tumblr media
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Simon has to remind himself that, when you're on your period, you don't always think logically. He's extremely patient with you, but he isn't the best with words. Or, rather, he isn't well-versed in the backwards rationality that comes with your period.
"Simon, can we get Chinese?"
"Sure, luvie, if you want it."
"Will you eat some?"
"Honestly, 'm not really hungry. But we can get what you want."
"... no, I'm ok. Nevermind."
"Wha'? Why not?"
"I don't need it."
Simon still doesn't understand why you won't eat without him, but he knows not to question it. He does, however, order your favorite takeout anyways, and he'll feed it to you if you still insist that you don't want it. He may steal a bite or two if you let him.
Like every good partner, he understands what a period is, and he understands the pain and frustration it causes you. He's still never entirely sure of how to help you, and he often doubts that he's being helpful at all. But that's where his military experience came in clutch: you tell him what to do, and he does it. You want to cuddle? "Scoot over f' me, luv." You want time alone? No worries, he can do some of his own work, just shout if you need him. You're running low on tampons and medication? He'll drop whatever he's doing and run to the corner store for it.
Massage KING, and he doesn't even know it. He huffs and says you're just trying to flatter him when you tell him how good at it he is. He treats you like you're in a spa, too: he dims the lights, he makes you wear an eye mask, he'll turn on the fan because he knows you love the white noise... he'll kneel behind you as you lay on your stomach, and this man will deliver the most tender, slow, and soothing massage of your life. His hands are already so huge and warm, and he somehow flawlessly works you into a drooling puddle each time.
He can't lie: seeing you there, passed out and snoring, no longer complaining about your aches and pains, fills him with just as much pride as it does relief. He's happy you're feeling well enough to rest, and that he's the one to get you there. He'll slowly get up, covering your lower back with the heating blanket, before leaving to replenish your thermos with tea.
Tumblr media
König
Whenever you mention that your period is coming soon, he always panics a little. König is a strong soldier, not bothered or phased by much. But when it comes to you, he hates knowing that you're in pain, and that he can't do anything to fix it (despite how often you assure him that he's helping).
This man goes all out. He fills the fridge with healthy, colorful fruits and vegetables, meat, and a pitcher of your favorite drink. He has your heating pad ready to go by your bedside, along with two thermoses, one of hot tea and one of ice-cold water. He sets up a small tray in the bathroom with tampons, pads, fresh underwear, and even a few pairs of shorts. He has a fan in the corner of the room, pointed at the bed and ready to go if you need it. He even takes off work for a few days - he refuses to leave your side when you're in pain.
Like Ghost, he likes being told what to do. If you ask him to turn on the fan, to turn off the lights, or to refill your thermos, he's up and doing it before you can finish your sentence. He hangs on your every word like it might be your last (you'd think with how he acts while you're on your period, you might be dying). He snuggles you every second you're in bed, and despite it being a bit warm, you don't mind the constant affection.
He cooks for you no less than twice daily, and this man can COOK. In no way, shape, or form does König skimp on seasonings and portion sizes when it comes to you. He carries you to the kitchen and sits you on the counter so he can keep an eye on you while he prepares you a hearty, nutritious meal (he needs to make sure you're eating well, schatz, but he'll let you scrounge for lunch, if that's what you really want). Sits with you at the dining table and holds your hand while the both of you eat, listening to you talk. If neither of you have anything to say, or if you're dissociating, he'll just sit and enjoy the silence with you, occasionally brushing your hair from your face and leaning over to kiss your cheek.
Sometimes, he'll do some of his work in bed with you, if he absolutely can't put it off any longer. You were once snuggled up to him, half asleep in the crook of his arm as he typed away on his laptop. He would occasionally rub his large hand over your lower stomach if he heard you groaning in pain from your cramps.
"Schnuki?"
"Mm?"
"Do you want me to finger you?"
That just about made you bolt upright like a rocket. "What?!"
He pointed to his screen. "Everyone says it makes you feel better, no?"
"König, um..." You didn't hate the idea, but didn't he? "I thought you were working?"
"C'mon, liebe-" he closed his computer and put it on the nightstand, rolling on top of you. "Relax for me, I'll make you feel good..."
Please just let this man take care of you and tell him he's doing a good job, it's all he wants.
541 notes · View notes