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obxjj · 3 years

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the way we heal | jj maybank

- pairings: jj maybank x reader

- summary: people deal with trauma in different ways but it seems that jj thinks you don't care about the loss of your friends and deep down himself but he just needs to understand that people heal in their own time and through their own meanings, he just needed to be reassured of it. kinda pre season 2 ep 1 give ot take

- warning(s): really motherfucking angsty and swearing. mention of substance abuse

- wc: 2.2k :))))

a/n: all my fics the pogues and reader are the age 17/18 only because that's more comfortable for me to write. its been a long long time since i have wrote something so sorry for and spelling errors

People tend to deal with trauma differently. It could be resulting to crying you eyes out until you can’t breath and you can’t see through your tears clouding your eyes. Drinking until your liver wants to shut down and you whole body is so numb that yourself and everyone around you is so tuned out that you can’t function. Resulting to drugs to either feel something or not to feel anything at all. Or to have something to blame your actions on from yourself acting out simply because you don’t know how to handle the situation of a friend dying.

See you on the other hand dealt with it internally or the whim and feeling of not accepting death. Maybe it was your subconscious talking wanting you not to accept or maybe it was the gut feeling that you always got telling you that they were actually alive and have survived that storm that ‘supposedly’ had swept them away because “no body was found”.

This ‘gut feeling’ had always been right in many life or death situations. Or even just you picking out an outfit that you were unsure of whether it was going to get the boys attention that you had a crush on. It did indeed get his attention that night because that’s how you ended up loosing your virginity that night but that’s besides the point.

The best way you could describe it was like when people would do personality tests and it would ask “are you controlled by your heart or what you feel” probably not those exact words but you get the point. I felt with my feelings if my gut said yes then it was a yes.

Since the night that John B and Sarah had ‘died’ your gut had been telling you the opposite. That they were in fact not dead. As Big John use to say when you were a kid, you can never kill a Routledge. At the time it seemed like bullshit but now it was starting to grow on you.

However now your two friends were presumed dead and not everyone dealt with trauma like you did. Some would even go as far to say that you didn’t actually give a fuck that your friends were dead because you hadn’t cried or you hadn’t drunk yourself into a state of no return or resulted to smoking weed every single day and spray painted ‘murder’ on Ward Cameron’s estate. But at least Kiara wasn’t lying.

But the thing was you hadn’t cried because you couldn’t, you quite literally hated crying because it made you feel weak. Even if you tried and you tried your hardest but nothing came. At this point you could go as far as denial. This gut feeling was like getting hit by a semi truck every time a thought came into your head questioning maybe they were dead. Maybe they did get swept away at sea and never to return.

Your gut feeling was simply not letting you mourn the loss of John B and Sarah and now everyone thought you were an emotionless bitch. I mean they were right to a point but not the whole point.

So that brought you to current day driving around the Cut and night playing fucking real life Where’s Wally but its Where’s JJ Maybank because he’s blacked out drunk somewhere and now you’re on a rescue mission. Not like you had done enough of those in the last few weeks.

About an hour ago your phone rang and it was JJ asking you to come pick him up since somehow he had now idea where he had ended up and was too far gone to put together his surroundings. Well that’s what you had assumed he said since you had to decipher his slurred words.

At this point you had driven around the whole island and gone to every hid out spot that he would go smoke at or to just get away from everyday life. You had gone to all but one place. Where you avoiding that particular house because it held so many memories, plus the fact you hadn’t been near the place since shit hit rock bottom. Yes? But it was the highest chance that JJ was sitting on that dock with his legs swinging over it with a beer in hand.

Well you were right. As you walked down the old dock to where JJ was sitting it was if you could feel all the emotions, thoughts and disbelief crawling their way up your skin from the ground you were walking on. But that gut feeling was like a wave of fire, burning it all the way back to the ground.

“I don’t know why I just didn’t look here first. I should have known aye” you half heartedly said trying to keep the conversation light since you didn’t know what state JJ was going to be in. From the huff you got in response told you he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“How much have you had J?” You asked with concern but still trying to keep you voice light and less reprimanding because you knew he was in a too fragile state for you to be angry.

“Does it even matter how much Iv had. I don’t feel shit anymore” he replied back with his words straight forward and sobered.

“Well have you even given yourself a break for your body to sober up for you to even feel the effects of it? Or have you still been going since yesterday when I saw you? J its not going to do shit if you don’t give it a rest for at least a day or so” you said back trying you best to keep you and your voice as calm as possible. You fucking hated seeing JJ like this, you would never say it to his face but fuck it just reminded you of his dad when he got into states like this. Until the last week you had never seen JJ this bad. But could you blame him.

“You just don’t get it do you” JJ was now facing you and by the tone of his voice you had unintentionally struck a nerve that you were actively avoiding. “Why did you even fucking come if you’re just going to tell me how I should cope. Do you even care that JB has gone? He was our best fucking friend. He was my fucking brother my only family! And he’s fucking gone just like his old man. You haven’t even shed a tear y/n. You’re just acting like nothing had happened. Do you even care!” JJ was now on his feet breathing heavily and his jaw so clenched you’re surprised his teeth haven’t broken

“J, please do not yell at me right now” you asked with your voice shaking trying to hold back something that was bubbling at the surface. Was it anger or was it the water works that desperately needed to be let out.

JJ started to walk back up the dock, showing that he was done with this conversation that he could have avoided if he didn’t ask you in the first place to come pick him up. Deep down he knew that you would be the only one to come and get him, he just wasn’t as good at showing his gratefulness due to the alcohol that was numbing him.

“JJ just wait please, please don’t walk away” You stood back up and starting walking after him quick on the backs of his feet. He halted his tracks and turned around to look at you with a pained look in his face, as you got up close you could see his eyes stained red. Either from crying or the linger of weed still in his system.

“What could you possibly want to say y/n. I really thought you would be the last person not to care about this” JJ was now right up in your face and his voice was holding back trying his best not to yell. But that last sentence had taken you back.

“You think I don’t care JJ!” now you starting yelling “of course I give a shit JJ our friends are gone, they are not fucking here. I know it might not seem that I don’t care. But just because I’m not crying my eyes out every hour or drinking myself into a state where I don’t now where the fuck I am or getting high that I spray paint on any wall I see” your breath was now battling to come to the surface because you were talking so fast.

“Just because Im not doing any of those things doesn’t mean I don’t care JJ! People deal with this shit differently and you need to understand that” you breathed out trying to grasp for air again “the thing is JJ I have this annoying gut feeling thats telling me that John B and Sarah are not dead, and its literally preventing me to mourn them. I have convinced myself that they are alive and I can’t fucking mourn non dead people J. I don’t know how to fucking explain it”

“Well why didn’t you just tell us that” he replied after bit letting your whole rant sink into his brain, weaving its way through the alcohol that was clouding it.

“Because JJ! Even saying that out loud I sound fucking crazy, like I’m in a deep pit of denial. The thing is I’m far from denial. Yes I know there is a massive fucking fat chance that they are dead and have been food for the sharks” you exclaimed

“Don’t make it worse y/n” JJ shook his head not very happy with your choice of words

“Okay yeah sorry bad wording. Im sorry” you lowered your head in sorrow wanting to slap yourself in the face for trying to make jokes out of trauma.

“So its not that I don’t care J, trust me I do care. But John B and Sarah are not physically here with us and I cant physically care for them right now. But when we see them can do that”

“Y/n -“ JJ tried to get a word in but you hadn’t finished

“Don’t JJ. We will see them again” you put an emphasis on ‘will’ “I trust my gut and even you know that when I get a gut feeling that it’s always been right. Correct?”

“Yes but -“ he tried to get another word in but you needed him to listen.

“JJ I care about you. I care about Kiara and Pope. You guys are physically here for me to care for. The thing is I haven’t spoken to Kie since she’s with Pope half the time and I have spoken to Pope since he’s with Kid half the time and you? I can’t speak to you because your too far gone in beers to for me to even get a coherent conversation in” This was such an over due conversation to be had, you were now on the verge of hyperventilating. You needed JJ to hear this. Fully sober would have been better but half sober is the best you’re gonna get.

“JJ I understand if that’s how you’re going to deal with all of this but you can’t throw yourself completely away. We need you. I need you JJ. I can’t have you going off the deep end and then we loose you too. You need to be here for when we get John B back. He will need you for when he’s back”. The water works that you had been holding back had finally been released and trust it to be in front of JJ. He was your fucking rock, you couldn’t loose him. No way that would be your last day on earth if that were to happen.

“I-. Im sorry. I’m just so fucking lost y/n. I don’t know what the fuck to do. You’re always at work and Kie and Pope are god knows where. I just want this to go away so fucking bad. All this pain, I feel like I have no one” JJ was now crying to and gripping your waist as is you could float away into the air

“I know JJ, but you have us you have always had us. But you have to be so stubborn sometimes that you won’t let us in and help, you won’t let me in a help you” you had JJ’s face in your hands making him look at you so he knew you meant every single word. “I’m so sorry if you didn’t think I cared and I wasn’t there to help you, I just deal with this shit in a different way. Just like every single other person. We all heal differently and that’s okay. It dosent mean we care less. It doesn’t mean I care less”

Now there you and JJ stand on the dock leading off the chateau both in each others embrace purging the pain that’s both been locked up inside you for so long. The past you and JJ had people really didn’t tend to understand but neither did you. But you would always find your way back to each other at the end of the day. Despite the fights you had in the past and the days you would be at each others throats screaming at each other to the days you would be secretly stealing a glance at him because you just couldn’t help yourself.

You would always be there to help him take the pain away and he was always be there to do the same for you.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank #outerbanks #outerbanks fanfic #obx #outerbanks season 2 #jj maybank imagine

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anotherspnfanfic · 3 years

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Overloaded

Pairing: Dr Dean x nurse reader

Word count: 1584

Warnings: minor injury

Squares filled: Hospital AU for @spndeanbingo and Doctor AU for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me a Story Bingo

Summary: Working too many hours and being short handed leads to a breaking point.

~~~

Gabe pushed the wheelchair off the elevator into the ED. She bit her lip to muffle her whimper as the small bump jostled her foot. “Sorry,” Gabe murmured as he wheeled her towards the nurses station. “Hey, Charlie, you got an open room? She needs an x-ray.”

Charlie turned to see who Gabe was referring to. “Oh, what happened?” she asked, seeing the pain on her friend’s face.

Before either of them could explain, Dean came out of an exam room and spotted her. “My nurses are not supposed to be in wheelchairs. Especially not my favorite one,” he said as he walked over and squatted down to her level. He noticed her puffy eyes as he carefully pulled up the pant leg on her elevated foot. He echoed Charlie’s question, “What happened, sweetheart?”

She rubbed a hand across her forehead as she glanced at the floor. “I missed a step, or maybe two. I landed wrong on my ankle. I'm pretty sure it’s broken. It hurts a lot.”

Dean raised an eyebrow as he stood and moved to take over Gabe’s position. “Okay, let's get you checked out.”

“Exam 4 is open,” Charlie said.

Dean turned to Gabe as he pushed her toward the room. “Can you go grab the portable x-ray and 25 mcg fentanyl, please?”

Once they were in the exam room, Dean offered his hand to help her stand on her good leg. He leaned over and lifted her carefully and then set her on the bed. She tried not to whine as the movement sent pain shooting up her leg. “Damn it. This sucks,” she said.

He situated the bed so she was laid nearly flat and got her foot elevated on a couple pillows. “1-10—how’s the pain?” Dean asked, as he tossed a blanket over her.

“Uhh, about a 6.”

Dean nodded. “Gabe should be back with the pain meds in a minute. So, you missed a step?” he asked as he started to check her vitals.

“Yeah, I was playing with my phone and I missed it,” she explained. He gave her a skeptical look.

Before he could say anything more, Gabe appeared and handed Dean a syringe. “I figured you’d want that first. I’ll be right back with the x-ray.”

Dean finished recording her temp and BP, then pushed the sleeve of her scrubs up her shoulder and cleaned a spot with an alcohol wipe. “Little pinch,” he warned. “Babe, you can maneuver all the stairs in this building backwards, hands full, and with your eyes closed. You sure you just missed it?” he asked.

She broke eye contact as she contemplated her answer carefully, knowing he could tell when she was lying. “No,” she mumbled. “I might have been a little dizzy, too.”

He reached his index finger under her chin to force her eyes to meet his. “Any guesses why you were dizzy?”

She pulled away enough to drop her gaze back down to the bed and shrugged almost imperceptibly. “Low blood sugar, maybe? Probably,” she mumbled the last word. She fiddled with the corner of the blanket almost nervously, not wanting to see the disappointment and concern on his face.

He hummed. “So you didn’t miss a step. You fainted?”

She sighed in defeat. “Yeah.”

“Have you eaten anything since the granola bar I brought you,” he paused to check his watch, “five hours ago?”

She shook her head and pulled the barely-touched bar from her pocket. “I got busy and then I forgot it was there.”

“What about water? Have you been drinking?” he probed. She simply shook her head, still refusing to make eye contact. “So you’re probably dehydrated, too.”

She shrugged.

He sighed. “You really have got to take better care of yourself. I love how much you care for everyone around you, but you have to come first once in a while. Otherwise, you won’t be able to help anyone.”

“I just get so busy that I forget sometimes.”

He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “We are going to work on that.”

Before she could add anything, Gabe pushed the x-ray into the room, and within a few minutes, they had all the images they needed of her ankle.

“Definitely very broken,” Dean stated. “Gabe, can you run a CBC and BMP and then start an IV of normal saline while I go page Sammy, please?”

“You got it, boss.”

“Wait!” she yelled before he could disappear out the door. “Why are you paging Sam?”

He turned back to face her. “Did you hit your head, too? You broke your ankle; we need an ortho consult. That would be Sam.”

She let out a frustrated groan as Dean left.

Gabe patted her shoulder before wrapping the tourniquet around her arm. “Maybe try not falling down the stairs next time.”

She rolled her eyes and looked away from what he was doing. “Oh, my god. Why didn’t I think of that?!”

He finished the blood draw and got the IV set up. Next, he carefully fluffed the pillows under her foot to ensure it was elevated enough. “You are all set. Do you need anything else right now?”

“Not unless you have a time machine.”

“A day do-over? Let’s see.” Gabe snapped his fingers and then spun around. “Damn. It was worth a shot.”

She tried to contain her smile as she rolled her eyes at him. “Thanks for trying, I guess.”

Ten minutes later, she was dozing off when Dean returned with Sam close behind. Dean ran a comforting hand over her head to ensure she was awake.

Sam took a few minutes to read over the x-rays. He turned away from the light board and walked over to the foot of the bed. “Unstable bimalleolar fracture,” he stated as he inspected her ankle. “You just bought yourself surgery and a vacation.”

“No way,” she blurted. “I can’t. We’re already short staffed.”

Sam shrugged. “It’s not exactly optional. Good news, though: the swelling isn’t too bad yet, I happen to be free in 45 minutes, and you haven’t eaten anything in hours. So we can do this today.”

Charlie joined them to give Dean her lab results. He turned to address her. “Just like I thought: mild dehydration and your blood sugar is at 58.” Dean flipped through the info again before handing it over to Sam. “Okay. So I’ll add glucose to her IV and get her up to pre-op.”

“Perfect. Make sure you keep her foot elevated.”

Dean rolled his eyes dramatically. “Do you think this is my first day?”

Sam shrugged. “Just making sure, Jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean grumbled quietly.

Sam turned his attention back to her. “I’ll see you soon, Shortie. I’ll getcha all fixed up. Sound like a plan?”

She gave him a lazy thumbs up. “Thanks, Gigantor.”

“Can you send Gabe back in here on your way past?” Dean requested. Sam simply nodded as he turned to leave.

Dean returned his focus to her. “How’s the pain now?”

She scrunched up her nose as she considered her answer. “Um, about one and a half.” She laughed at herself.

“That’s good. I see you’re loopy, too.”

She scowled at him. “You’re loopy.”

He just shook his head. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.” Gabe returned and Dean gave him the med order and asked him to take her up to the OR.

“You’re not coming up?” She pouted.

He shook his head. “I can’t. I’ll be there when you wake up, though, I promise.” He took her hand and placed a quick kiss to her knuckles.

As if on cue, Charlie leaned into the room. “Dean, trauma incoming. MVA car vs pedestrian. Ambo is two minutes out.”

“Okay, I'll be there in a second.” He gave her hand one more squeeze before he turned to leave. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Roughly three hours later, Sam found Dean in the lounge pouring a cup of coffee. He nodded and offered over the now-full cup.

“Thank you.” Sam took a sip of the dark liquid. “We got her all set up in recovery. She should be awake soon.”

“Okay. I’ll head up there in a minute.” Dean took a sip of his own coffee. “Everything went smoothly?”

“I’d have paged you if it hadn’t.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam nodded. “Yes, it went perfectly. It’ll heal up just fine.”

“Thanks, Sammy.”

Wandering into her room, he couldn’t help but smile at how peaceful she looked. He placed his hand softly against her cheek, sweeping his thumb slowly over the skin. She nuzzled into the touch as she lazily opened her eyes. “Hi, sweetheart.”

She gave him a goofy smile. “I like when you call me that.”

“I know you do.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy.” She yawned. “And I’m starving. Can you bring me some fries?”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m glad your appetite is back. You get a little more sleep and I’ll bring you fries.”

“And pizza,” she added. Before he could agree, she gasped. “Ice cream!”

“Tell you what: I will get you fries from the cafeteria for you to munch on on the way home and then we can order pizza.”

She pouted as her eyelids started to droop. “What about ice cream?”

His eyebrows scrunched together as he asked, “When do we ever not have ice cream at home?”

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” She smiled as she finally let herself drift off once more.

~~~

Tags: @deanwasscaredbyacat @babypieandwhiskey @muchamusedaboutnothing @defenderrosetyler @akshi8278 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

#tell me a story bingo #spndeanbingo #supernatural #spn fanfic #dean x reader #doctor!dean #doctor!sam #dean one shot #dean winchester #my gif #spn #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fanfiction

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liquid-luck-00 · 3 years

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I Hate You

Part 1: You’re not just my Friend

#2: I hate you from @zambie-trashart Prompt List

DC Supersons x Miraculous

~~~~~~~~~~

Dick wasn’t sure what was going on, but it probably wasn’t good. After Tim and Damian came back from the Kent’s Damian has been in a worse mood than usual and Tim had a grin that reminded him of the Cheshire cat. That could not be good. Surprise is putting it mildly when Tim finally spoke about it the next morning.

“Did you know Jon has a cousin from Paris?” Tim asked and his grin was plastered on his face and it was starting to become unsettling. Hearing this Damian started to scowl harder into his plate, how is that possible.

“No. Why? ” Dick was almost to scared to ask, and he really should not have asked.

“Well apparently they always try to fool and prank Connor and well the two ‘twins’ got me and the Demon Spawn over there”

“What do you mean with ‘twins’ and ‘got you two’” it was Jason who spoke up this time.

“The two of them swapped places and I thought Jon’s cousin was him and he her” Damian practically growled.

Jason burst out laughing “Your serious two kids fooled the Demon Spawn and the genius!" Jason all but fell out of his seat from laughing. "Oh that is absolute gold”

Dick couldn’t help but smile and agree with the second eldest.

———

That was when Bruce entered the dining room.

"Do I want to know" he asked with a tired sigh sitting down. Damian was seated glaring at Jason, who was laughed hysterically, Tim wore a cheshire grin but his face had an embarrassed blush, while Dick seemed the most composed you can tell he is close to laughing as well.

"So you know how Tim and Damian went over to the Kent's yesterday" Dick began.

"Yes what of it" Bruce replied.

"Apparently Jon has a cousin who looks and acts like him"

"I still don’t get why this is relevant Dick"

"So these two thought Jon was his cousin and that she was him" This time Jason did fall out of his seat.

"Why don't we invite them over" Bruce grinned this is something I want to see.

———

Dick and Jason could not take it. Both of them were literal rays of sunshine. They tended to answer questions for themselves and one another. Making it hard to figure out who was who.

One of them was in a light grey jacket with a blush shirt, light washed jeans and white sneakers. The other was in a red shirt with a black and white open flannel shirt over it, blue jeans and red sneakers. Both of them were wearing a baseball cap to hide the length of their hair.

Because both sides were a part at this game kept everyone on their toes.

They tried to swap their phones but didn't work. She and Jon set them identically however they pointed toaster that there was a minute difference in the screen saver.

After two hours Damian seemed to be done. So everyone placed their or votes on who was Jon.

The four siblings all pointed at her thinking she was her cousin.

"Nope" she smiled. The three older boys began to laugh while Damian was beginning to fume.

"If you guys thought we were tricking you with our clothes you were wrong" Jon explained.

"You two figured it out huh" Mari looked to Bruce and Alfred.

"It was slight but Miss Marinette is more graceful, dance perhaps?" Alfred responded but also asked.

"Ballet" she smiled.

"Also it is hardly noticeable but Jon's eyes are a bit more electric where Marinette's are more bluebell." Bruce stated.

"Looks, like four people can now tell as apart Mars" Jon smiled.

Damian huffed and stalked back into the manor.

She was going to go after him when she was held back.

"He's just mad you two got him again" Jason spoke between laughs.

"Give him time" Dick reassured, she nodded her head.

———

About half an hour later Alfred said Lunch would be soon, and since Damian was still gone, she went to look for him.

She found him in a gym going through forms with a sword.

"Lunch will be soon" he stopped and watched her.

"Why act like Kent?"

"Huh."

"Why act and attempt to be someone else?"

"I'm not trying to be anyone. Jon is my cousin and we are alike. If we like to play pranks together it doesn't mean we are trying to be another person."

"Tt. How am I supposed to believe you. If you are Kent's cousin, I hardly know you. If you are Kent, then you are deceiving me. So why should I trust what you say?"

"Do or don't but I'm not lying."

"Tt. We'll see." faster than Mari could process Damian charged at her sword still in hand. Her legs wouldn't move but she still had enough sense to guard her head with her arms. Unfortunately the tip of the sword still got her. A cold sting ran about a centimeter above her left eyebrow, cut through it to almost four centimeters past her eye. Then she felt a burning sensation the longer the wound is exposed to air.

"Tt. so you are Kent's cousin"

"If by that you mean not Kryptonian yeah" she turned on her heel and walked out looking for a bathroom. Her breathing coming in shaky gasps. She had taken off her jacket and was using it to stop the blood while applying pressure.

———

She isn’t kryptonian, but she didn’t run. Why didn’t she try to leave not just attempt to block.

Damian went to the dining room for lunch. Kent’s cousin wasn’t there but everyone else was. He simply sat down and began to eat.

“Hey Damian do you know where Mars is?”

“Tt. Why would I know where she is?”

———

That was when Marinette walked into the dining room. Her jacket was folded and she was holding it and her hair was now parted to the right and not the left as it was earlier.

“What happened?” Jon’s voice was steely the opposite of his usual cheeriness.

“Please drop it” Marinette spoke steadily, but her eyes were pleading with her cousin.

“You never told us that your cousin was human” Damian spoke almost bored still eating.

“Because it wasn’t relevant” Mari bit out. Now all attention was on her and in a house full of detectives she was not going to get out of this.

Jon flew over to her and was examining her. That was when he noticed the cut on her brow. “Mari”

“It’s not as bad as you think” but he didn’t listen he grabbed the jacket she had set down and unfolded it. That was when the entire family saw the blood stains on the light grey fabric.

“Miss Marinette, may I” Alfred now came up to her and began to check her as well. “It needs to be closed. Unfortunately it will scar.”

“Now we will be able to tell them apart” Damian deemed it appropriate to speak.

“I hate you.” Mari glared at the green eyed boy “I hope your proud of yourself.”

“Tt. I don’t see the problem.”

“Of course you don’t”

“Damian care to explain.” Bruce demanded.

“It seems self explanatory”

“He attacked me”

“You attacked Pixie” Jason seemed to take offense on her behalf.

“Why aren’t you more upset or in pain that looks bad” Dick went into mother hen mode.

“Because there is no use dwelling on it. And thinking about it makes it hurt more”

“Still Mars it’s bad, you really shouldn’t need to hide this” Jon was starting to become overprotective.

“I’m a klutz I’ve had worse. Besides I’m just tired at this point.”

“But” Jon was going to argue further but she didn’t want to hear it.

“Hey look at it this was Conner will finally be able to tell us apart.” Jon pursed his lips and so did everyone else in the room. Mari gave a smile as to lighten the mood but was unsure if she succeeded. Well there is no point in dwelling on it now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@iloveitwhen @greatcatblaze

JPS: @zambie-trashart @loveswifi @wannajointhecrabcult @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @mochegato @thatonecroc @professionalfangirl1738

#dc x miraculous #dc x mlb #maribat #mlb x dc #miraculous x dc #Jon’s cousin #JPS

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i-am-infinite · 3 years

Text

Guilt (Part 1): The Rescue

(Din Djarin x ForceSensitive!Fem!Reader)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Slight Chpt 12 and 13 spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Description: Moff Gideon has found someone else to run his experiments on and word gets back to Din. Will he take his son far away and try and find somewhere safe? Or will the guilt of an innocent being put in his son’s place eat away at him? (No Y/N or ___ used)

Word Count: Slightly over 4K

Warnings: Mentions of blood and needles. Broken glass. Fainting. Blood loss. Canon type violence. Possible bad writing (first fic pls go easy on me). If I’m missing anything please let me know, I’ve never done one of these before.

A/N: This is my first fanfic I’ve written so it might be really bad but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head so here it is. I also made up a planet/system and don’t know if star wars has alarm clocks but i wrote it in anyway. I also wrote this in Word first and then realized I couldn’t copy it over so I tried my best to type it over in here.

Normal. That is what was used to describe your life. Nothing out of the ordinary. Life wasn’t boring per se, but it definitely wasn’t compelling enough for your tastes. Studying to be a healer help keep it somewhat interesting but not enough.

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Crust littered eyes creak open as your face unsticks from the textbook scattered across the desk. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Your stiff neck cracks as you finally sit up. Fell asleep studying again. You loved learning about healing, you really did. But the long nights and barely sleeping was enough to make your head explode. Looking over at the clock with bright red numbers blinking at you. 8:15.

8:15! I’m late! You think as you force yourself awake. No not again! Being a student means you need to do hands on hours down at the nearest medcenter. All the late night studying also means that you oversleep most days. Grabbing your work bag filled with a change of clothes, in preparation of these events, you run out the door.

Your feet hit the wet cobble stones as it echos through your little part of the city. Vendors lining up the street ready to start their days. Passing the shop you went to yesterday, your mind too preoccupied to notice that it’s empty today. You know that theres is a faster route to the medcenter, but is it a path you really want to take today? Dark and windy path that you can barely see five feet in front of you on mornings like this. Too foggy and muggy for your liking. You’d rather stick to the main road where there’s people, where if anything were to happen, people would see, they would know. Regardless, it shaves fifteen minutes off your commute. You loathe having to be late for another shift. Making the sharp turn in between tow booths, you pace quickens to get through as quickly as you can. While not having much visibility, you swear you can see a pair of eyes in the dark. Has to just be my imagination, you convince yourself, I just need to keep going. It’ll be fine.

Footsteps echo behind you. Hands grab your shoulders. A scream rises in your throat, but no sound comes out. Everything goes dark when you feel something hit the side of your head.

Sigh. “Grogu get back in your seat.” The little baby waddles down off the controls and into his father’s lap. “Not what I meant,” Din grumbles with a smile hidden under his helmet. He grabs Grogu by his little robe and places him in the seat to his right and tells him to buckle up as a holo comes through from Greef Karga.

“Mando, we’ve just got word that Moff Gideon might have been seen in the Braic system. It looks like they found a substitute for the baby for the time being. I would use this time to go find a hide-out and lay low. He could still come back for the little one. Be well,”

Din goes to start the ship and find coordinates to stay out of trouble for a while when he hears the baby whine. Looking back at his adoptive child, all Din can see is Grogu, then a nameless kid, lying unconscious on a metal table, trapped underneath a contraption. Din starts breathing heavy and feeling sick that he ever gave his son up to those Imps. All he can hear is the beeping of the machine he’s hooked up to. Anger boiling back to the surface as he hears himself yell at the doctor all over again in his memories. No, he tells himself, He’s here with me. He’s fine. He’s safe. He shakes himself out of it and goes to fly the Razor Crest off planet.

Before he even gets off the planet, all Din can think about is that innocent person in his son’s place. They were going to kill Grogu, just for his blood for their experiments. Din can’t bring the kid anywhere near those people, he can’t risk losing his family, not when both of them have formed such attachments to each other. But he can’t stop thinking of this person who is in the that position now. He should’ve made sure Gideon was dead. Because of that now more people are going to get hurt.

Without thinking he turns on his holo already asking, “Where is he taking them?”

Feeling groggy with heavy eyes, you are able to open them just a bit to a blinding light. Reluctantly closing them again, you lift your arm to rub your eyes, but only they don’t move. What? The rest of your senses start coming back and you can feel the cool metal against your back, the same metal wrapped around your wrists and your ankles attached to the table. Finally bracing the light and opening your eyes, lifting your head slightly off the table and oh no the room is spinning now. There is an IV in your arm drawing your blood out into some odd machine, explaining the dizziness. Second time in two days you’ve had to deal with your own blood.

Walking through the shops on your one day off, you pick up a flower hair pin. The glasswork is so intricate and entrancing, you can’t help but turn it over and over in your hands. A pearl bead sitting in the center of iridescent gray and white petals. Placing it back in its place, your had scrapes against another glass design that is not yet finished, slashing open your palm. “Oh, dear let me help you with that,” the lady running the stand says. She looks you with her white hair barely covering her forehead. Tattoos liter her arms. A design peaks your interest as you swear you know but can’t quite place.

“It’s fine, I can take care of it myself,” you state already inspecting your hand. No shards in it so thats good.

“Oh no I insist. It happened at my booth, let me help clean it,” she declares taking your hand in her own. It feels like she squeezes the wound causing you to wince in pain slightly. Knowing she should just be cleaning it and wrapping it, you’re a little confused. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to tend to these sort of things, not wanted to embarrass her at her stand, you keep quiet. She finally gets a clean rag to help blot away at the blood on your hand. You didn’t think anything of it at the time, but it appears she has put it in a bag to the side.

“I don’t have any gauze to help wrap it up,” the stand lady says.

“Oh, don’t worry, I have plenty of my own,” you mention, “It will be fine until I make it back to my place.” Smiling you walk away. Without looking, you can feel her move the piece you cut your hand on into the bag. Must just be because it’s a dangerous piece, you think, not knowing there’s still some of your blood on it too.

Closing your eyes again, you try to wonder why that is so significant to you right now. It was a harmless thing in passing, so why is it at the forefront of your mind? You are strapped to a table and all you can think about is that little cut you got the day prior. If your head didn’t feel like it was a spinner top right now, you would have laughed. Opening your eyes again you see men all in white armor and helmets guarding the door to your room, while a man in a white coat is working on the machine where your IV is attached. I thought the empire was dead. The same symbol that keeps going through your mind is the same one sewn into the man’s white coat. Your breathing gets shallower as you feel the panic rise in your chest. I’m never getting out of here, you realize as your vision becomes black once again.

You’re losing a lot of blood. You know that. You can feel it when noise wakes you up and your eyelids feel like lead. All the noise is muffled, as if you’re underwater. Frankly it feels like you are. It would be so easy to let the waves of darkness just wash over you right now, to let the water take you under. No, you can’t give up the fight and drown into unconsciousness just yet. You force yourself to stay awake.

Barely getting your eyes open, bright red lights flood your vision. You imagine you’re still in bed, or at least asleep at your desk, with the alarm clock blaring, not here with blaster fire. Wait, blaster fire? You attempt to turn your head to the side to look, or to dodge, you aren’t to sure in your current state. The fast action causes you to feel like you’re spinning, or it might be the room, either way your eyes can’t focus on what is going on. Closing your eyes again to make it stop, you hear voices surrounding you. They sound so far away at the moment but finally, after what feels like ages, one voice sounds clearer.

“Please help us. Help us get out of here. Her m-counts aren’t nearly as high as the child’s. They’re demanding more blood. She’s already lost 2 liters, I don’t know how much longer she can last.”

Child? They wanted to do this to a child? You’d choke down a sob if you could just thinking of that poor baby. What did he even say about what-counts? What the hell are those? All these questions are making your head spin more and more. Taking most of your energy to open your eyes, you’re met with a chrome stormtrooper trying to unbind you. Wait no, not a stormtrooper. You’ve heard stories about him and his people. What were they called? For the life of you, you can’t remember right now.

“You’re going to need help getting her out of here,” you realize that the man in the whit coat was the one who spoke before and is now pleading with the metal man, “Please Mandalorian take me with you and I’ll help you get her out of here.”

That’s it. He’s a Mandalorian. He gets your wrists free as the doctor takes the IV out. Pushing off the table to sit up, the world starts spinning again. You don’t even realize you’re about to hit the table again until the Mandalorian grabs your shoulders to keep you semi-upright. You hear some sort of static come from his helmet. “Fine.” he grumbles, “help me get her out of this thing.”

With a flip of a switch, the rest of your body is free from restraints. Eager to get out of there, you swing your legs over the edge of the table, hands finding the arms of the Mandalorian with his hands still on your shoulders. Nauseous and woozy, you try to use the cold metal of his pauldron to ground yourself, to get the room to stop spinning. He can see you start to sway and wraps his arms around your waist as he lowers you from the table. Your feet hit the floor and black dots start to cloud your vision. Blood pounding in your ears trying to tell you to stop and lie back down. Muffled voices come from beside you again as you feel another arm wrap around you from the other side. Your feet dragging against the floor as both men on either side of you go towards the door.

You feel the heavily armored man to your left let go. Eyes that are still fuzzy and unfocused sort of see him peak out the door with his blaster drawn. He leaves the room and all that can be heard is the pew pew pew of blaster fire. Vision start to come back the tiniest bit, you can see him standing in the door way waving his hand as to say Come on.

The three of you hurry as fast as you can down the corridor to get to an exit. Lots of twists and turns, just for you all to come up at a dead end. So much for rescuing, you think to yourself as the doctor still holding you up, leans you up against a pillar as the two of them survey the situation. More of the Mandalorian assessing the situation and the doctor just frantically pacing back and forth.

Sitting down now that the adrenaline of being kidnapped and “rescued” die down, you feel your breathing getting shallower and harder to breath. Eyelids getting heavy again. You just want to lay down and go to sleep, hoping that will fix things. Starting your descent from your upright position to close your eyes, two hands grab your shoulders and jerk you up. It takes a second to realize this modulated voice was talking you you. “Hey, you got to stay with me now,” he pleads, one hand going to the side of your face. Pain spreads across your features due to being struck there earlier, a bruise starting to form in its place. Pulling his hand away like seeing the your face contorted burned him, he continues, “I’m going to get you out of here, you just have to stay awake.” You open your mouth to speak, but your throat feels like it’s filled with sand from Tattooine, so you just weakly nod your head yes. “Okay good,” the shiny man says after letting out a deep breath.

Still holding your shoulders, he helps you stand up and tells the doctor to take you and go further down the hall. Taking something small and circular out of his belt and placing it on the far wall, he speed walks back toward you two. It starts blinking red as his arms come and cage both of you in. Peeking over his shoulder, you see the wall disappear. Well explode, but one second ago it was there and now it’s not. When the explosion first rings in your ears, you reflexively reach out for the Mandalorian’s arm and feel him tense under your touch.

When he deems it safe to move again, letting go of his arm, he hops over the rubble to the outside world, blaster drawn. Looking out you think it looks like a desert, but one you’ve never seen before. You have no idea where you are, even what planet you are on. You eyes go to where the chrome man is stalking towards. It seems he found two speeder bikes that the troopers use, sans the troopers. Your feet hit the gravel and you realize you aren’t wearing shoes anymore. How long was I out? You begin to question when you see a stormtrooper take aim at your rescuer. Right when he pulls the trigger, you reach your hand out and scream, “NO!”

You could’ve sworn it was going to hit him. It should’ve hit him. But at the last second it bent and went in another direction. You knew stormtroopers were bad shots, but nothing like that has ever happened. The Mandalorian whips around at your scream and shoots the trooper down. He goes back to what he originally planned to do, but not without turning to you. You see his chest plate heave up and down a few times before turning back around. After a beat, the only sound you can hear is the Mandalorian starting up the speeders and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. The doctor helps guide you to the bikes and as you’re about to get on behind him, the Mandalorian picks you up bridal style and sits on his own respective bike. You make a noise of discontent at the sudden action and are then seated in front of him, yet again caged in by his arms with your legs draped over one of his. You can hear him breathing through the modulator as he states, “Just in case you pass out again. Can’t have you falling off the back of the bike.” You go to adjust how you are sitting when he takes off.

Gasping in shock, you hug your arms around his neck with you head in his cowl as you take panicked breaths. His hand touches your back as you hear him shout over the noise of the engines, “Put your legs around me, you’re slipping off.” He holds your waist as you sling your right leg around and hook it with your left one behind his back. Not the position you thought you’d end up in as a blush creeps up on your face, but neither the less here you are. His hand lets go of your waist and back to the handlebars as he steers.

Suddenly getting the feeling like you’re being followed, you say into his neck cowl, “Go left!” You don’t know why, but you just get a gut feeling to go that way. He follows your lead, not without a brief hesitation. The doctor follows on his speeder in the same direction. Finally looking up you see two stormtroopers in the distance. I wish their speeders would just stop or something, you plead with yourself and you think back to what happened with the blaster. Testing the waters, you unhook one of your hands from Mando’s neck and hold it out and... nothing. Okay focus, you close your eyes and picture their speeders stopping, or malfunctioning, or anything at this point.

The sound of a crash comes ringing into your ears. Opening your eyes, you can see the troopers flip over their handlebars as if their engines just died. You slightly chuckle to yourself as your eyelids feel heavy again. You try to get them to stay open, but sleep just feels so much better at the moment. And with that, you’re out like a light.

Din feels you go limp against him. His arm once again going to grab you by your waist to keep you in place. He wills his speeder to go faster, to get back to the Razor Crest sooner as he’s panicking thinking he somehow made the situation worse. He exposed you on the bike by having you sit like this. Your arms, legs, and head were all exposed to possible blaster fire. Have you been hit? He heard a crash but couldn’t look back without moving you more, risking leaving you more unprotected. His blame for himself spirals as his grip on you grows tighter. He can’t explain why he’s so distraught over a stranger, but still every time he blinks, he swears he sees back on that table. The next time he swears he sees his son on that very table again. First he gave the kid up to those people, now he didn’t finish Gideon off and let you, an innocent stranger who he is now clutching onto for dear life, get in the crossfire. Too many people have gotten hurt because of this. Because of him. He needs to make it right.

Finally Din and Dr. Pershing arrive at the Razor Crest where Din is already lowering the hatch and carrying you in. Kicking some crates together, he gently lowers you down onto this makeshift bed. He uses his thermal setting to see your body temperature, to see how you are recovering from the blood loss. He isn’t thrilled to see it still low, you were getting your energy back slowly before, along with more body heat, bit not enough to Din’s liking. Turning his helmet to Pershing, the doctor says, “She’s going to need more blood.” Din, already standing ready to run out and get some, not even knowing where or how to do that, is stopped by Pershing telling him that he’ll go get it, that it would look less suspicious. Agreeing, Din sits by your side while using his comm-link to tell Greef that he could bring Grogu back to the ship. How Din always finds someone to babysit still surprises him.

You wake up with a start. Eyes not yet adjusted to the lights overhead. Looking down you can see an IV in your arm again. Now towards the side, you can see the same doctor from before asleep up against a wall. Please tell me it wasn’t a dream, tears well up in your eyes as you think you’ve made the whole thing up to cope. It wasn’t until you felt your hand come to wipe away your watery eyes that you realized it just might not be a dream. The IV isn’t taking blood this time, it’s giving it.

Finally looking around, you realize you’re on a ship that feels like it’s moving. Confused by this, you try and sit up. Not nearly as dizzy as before, you slowly swing your legs off the wooden crates you’re lying on. Noticing your still barefoot as a chill gets sent up to your spine by the cold metal floor, you grab your IV bag off what appears to be just a hook poorly attached to the ceiling. You venture around the small area of the ship, noticing there isn’t a lot besides these boxes and what appears to be two storage type of units. You don’t even tempt to look in, too intrusive. You do however see a ladder going higher up on the ship. Taking the IV out and ripping a piece of your shirt off to wrap around your arm for pressure, so you can use both hands to climb, you start your ascent up.

Once you finally reach the top, you hear cooing? Didn’t that doctor say something about a child earlier? Looking forward into the cockpit, you see your savior flying while looking to his right at one of the co-pilot chairs. Clearing your throat to get his attention, two little eyes peer at you from the seat. A bright smile appears on this little green things face and you can’t help but stifle a laugh because its ears are the size of his body.

Distracted by this cute baby, you don’t notice the way the Mandalorian swivels his chair to face you. Finally looking at the man who saved you today, your breath hitches. You don’t know how to thank him for what he did, so you sort of just stand and stare for a second. He stands up and lightly grabs your arm with your homemade bandage on it. Tilting his helmet to the side you hear static coming from it. Did he just sigh at you? “You were supposed to keep it in your arm,” he finally states, with a tinge of annoyance.

Eyes not wanting to meet the T of his visor, you direct your gaze to the ground. “ I jus- I-,” you stammer, not able to find the right words. “Thank you.” It comes out more hushed than you’d like, but he still hears you. He just gives you a slight nod before releasing his arm and heading back to his seat. All your muscles turn to stone as you stand there not knowing if you should leave or not, until he cocks his head towards the seat to his left. On shaky legs you find your way to the seat. Before even sitting down fully, the little green child is already trying to get into your lap. Giggling to yourself you let him up onto your lap.

Once you do the strangest thing happens. You can feel what he’s thinking, his emotions, his past. How he was trained with the special abilities, much like the ones you just displayed before. How he was scared and in hiding until the man sitting in front of you found him. How he thinks of him as a father, his dad. Your chest tightens at that one. Still confused as to why the same people who wanted this child, Grogu, for his powers, also wanted you, you pull him to your chest to comfort you both. You finally speak up again and ask, “Did they want me because I might have the same abilities as this one?” You meant it to sound strong, but it just came out sounding weak.

Without looking at you, the Mandalorian replies shortly after a pause, “Yes.” You swore you can see his grip tighten on the ships steering as he says that. Turning to the two of you finally, he says in the sincerest voice you’ve heard out of him, “They wont get to either of you again. I can promise you that.” Your chest swells at this statement and Grogu looks up at you with a smile as if he felt the way your heart fluttered. You wish you were the one wearing the helmet right now because you can feel your cheeks heat up. To ease the situation in the best way you can, awkwardly, you clear your throat before asking, “So where are we headed now?”

Swiveling back in his chair to hit a few buttons, you’re confused not knowing what they are supposed to do until he pulls up a map and points a place out. He tells you that he’s going to drop off Dr. Pershing at one of the squiggles you see and then try and figure it out from there. “So, I guess thats where I get off too?” You meant it to come out more as a statement than a question, but after what you just went through, you’d rather not be left to fend for youself.

“If that’s what you want,” he finally utters after a while. “ But they’re not going to stop coming after you. Either of you. It might be safer for you to stay here with me, us.” The last part comes out so quiet, it’s almost as if he didn’t want you to hear, out of fear of your response.

Trying to not answer too quickly, you take a deep breath and finally say, “Yes. I’d like that a lot.” With a curt nod, he turns back around. Warmth fills your chest yet again at this stranger’s kindness. It’s just because I have the same abilities as his child, you try to convince yourself. But deep down you’re hoping it’s more than that. The child in your lap grips your fingers tightly and coos, as if he’s trying to tell you your hopes might not be too far off.

Oh, it’s going to be an interesting adventure with these two, you smile to yourself.

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suwya · 3 years

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Till the Stars Had Run Away - Chapter 6

Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."

Rating: M

Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

AO3

A/N: Sorry for the waiting, but real life came along and I had to stop writing for a couple of weeks. Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta reader I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this. Happy Labour Day!

Chapter 6 . .

Be not inhospitable to strangers,

lest they be angels in disguise.

(W. B. Yeats)

When Killian regained consciousness he found himself in what reminded him of a military hospital. There were thin white curtains around his bed, but through them he could spot other beds like his, most of them empty. The room seemed large and dimly lit.

He closed his eyes and remembered the crash landing, the unknown desert planet, the great rock that was about to crush Henry, and that feeling of unease and imminent danger he had felt just before the impact. Where was he? And above all what kind of situation was he in, a good or a bad one? He opened his eyes again, and noticed he wasn’t alone. A woman was checking his IV, and a nearby monitor was beeping intermittently.

Killian tried to sit up, but a stabbing pain in his lungs made him desist immediately. He groaned loudly.

“Look who’s awake.” Said the woman, who was now staring at him. “Hello, handsome.” She added cheerfully.

Killian had found himself dealing with uncharted waters several times in his life. He decided to play the waiting game. “This is usually my line, well, more or less.”

“Really? In this case, I'll warn my husband not to approach you.”

“Don’t worry I'm not into men, not recently at least.” He smirked.

“Oh, but my husband is quite the charming one.”

“I still prefer the company of a fair lady, if I could choose.” He winked and chuckled, and a dull pain made him gasp.

“Take it easy.” She immediately shifted her attitude from playful to worried. “How do you feel?”

“As if I've been hit by a rocket.”

“Not a rocket, but yes, you’ve been hit hard. You’ve suffered two broken ribs. And believe me, you were lucky, it could have been worse. Do you mind if I run some tests and see how you react?”

“No problem.”

While the woman was busy measuring his temperature, making him follow a small blue LED light with his gaze, and extracting some blood to examine later, he took advantage of the opportunity to observe her more closely. She had short black hair and green eyes, bright and lively in contrast to her very delicate skin. Killian found himself thinking of another pair of green eyes, which had been filling his thoughts frequently lately. The memory brought him back to reality quickly.

“What is this place?” He inquired, eager to know what had happened while he was unconscious.

“Welcome to Vernal-Den.” She answered smiling.

Killian tried to remember if he had ever read about this planet. “Never heard of it.”

“Yeah, we’re not very popular.”

Was she too concentrated on checking-in his vitals, or was she being too concise on purpose? He didn’t know, but he intended to keep an eye on her. “How long was I out?”

“A while.” Another elusive answer.

He decided to test the waters. “Were there ….other injured people with me?”

“If you’re referring to Henry and Emma, they are perfectly fine.” She seemed sincere. “They are staying at our place. Henry has visited you every day since you came in.”

“And Emma?”

“Well, she can’t come in. She’s not a relative of yours. But she has spent long hours sitting just outside that door.” She said pointing towards the exit. “I had to order her to go home and get some rest.”

After that she excused herself, saying that she had to attend to other patients.

He realized she hadn’t even told him her name. He didn’t know if he could trust her or not. The fact that she had avoided some of his questions sent chills down his spine. And most of all there was the Emma problem.

Why couldn’t she visit him? Was it true that it was only a matter of rules? Or was she in some kind of peril? He needed to know what was happening behind those doors that separated him from the woman that had been pestering his dreams in the last ten years of his life. He had to know that she was alright. To hell with rules! He thought. And by the way, when was the last time he followed one. He had to get out of this place. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his lungs was so strong that his vision started to blur and cold sweat formed on his temples. He lay back down on the bed, aware that in his conditions he couldn’t have gone far before collapsing unconscious on the floor. He promised himself to solve the problem as soon as he had enough strengths, but he couldn't dwell too much on that thought, because sleep was reclaiming his mind again.

~·~·~·~

Time passed very slowly, or so it seemed, but maybe it was simply the fact that every day looked the same. Killian was mostly asleep, probably due to the painkillers introduced through the IV, and when he woke up he couldn't tell how long he had been out, he couldn't even tell if it was day or night. There were no windows in that room.

During one of the moments when his mind regained consciousness, he felt the mattress drop slightly to one side and he slowly opened his eyes.

“You are awake! How do you feel? Can you breathe? Of course you can, you would be dead otherwise! Does it hurt?” Henry was sitting at the end of the bed, and he was asking a lot of questions, as usual. “Sorry.” He suddenly looked contrite. “I should let you rest, but…”

“It’s ok, lad.” Killian cut him off. “I’m glad to see you’re all in one piece.”

The boy greeted him with a wide grin.

Killian remembered the last moments before getting injured, and he was relieved to know that he had been able to prevent that rock from hitting Henry. But other worries crowded his mind. “How about your mom?”

“She’s fine. She’s outside. They won’t let her in. You know, only relatives and all that stuff.” He explained.

“I see. And why are you…?”

Henry didn’t let him finish the question. “I told them I’m your son.” He whispered with a conspiratory smile.

“Clever boy.” Killian’s chuckle turned soon into a cough due to the pain.

“Does it hurt?” The boy asked, frowning.

The man dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. “It’s not a big deal.” He didn’t want the lad to feel responsible for his well-being. “How many days have passed since we landed here?” He asked, changing the subject.

“I don't know exactly.” And at Killian’s questioning look, he added, “It’s complicated.”

“How so?”

“People live underground here,” The boy started to explain, “With no opportunity to look outside. And there are no clocks. My watch had probably broken when we arrived, it doesn’t work anymore.”

The man hummed, he was starting to understand. The lack of windows, the elusive answer he had received from the dark-haired nurse… everything was beginning to tally in Killian’s head. “I want you to think carefully about everything you saw outside this room. Did you feel something was wrong?”

The boy shrugged. “I don't know.” He seemed to ponder. “This place is strange. Lots of corridors and passages underground. We are not allowed to go out into the open. They say it’s dangerous. But I never felt a threat or something. I would rather say it’s boring.”

“Why boring?”

Henry was trying to find the right words to explain it. “All the days are the same, people repeat the same actions every day. They say it’s useful to maintain a routine. But I don’t think Mary Margaret and David are bad people.”

“I’m sorry, who?” Killian asked.

“Oh, yeah, Mary Margaret, she is your nurse. We’re staying at her home. She is very nice. And David is her husband. He showed me the greenhouse. It’s awesome and huge, you should see it! But I don’t think he works there. I don’t know what his job is.”

Routine? New people? A greenhouse? Well, that was a lot of information to process. But Killian felt sleep calling him back. Next time I see that lady Margaret, I’m going to ask her not to put more painkillers in my IV. He thought. “Thank you, Henry, for everything. But I may need to rest for a while now.” He managed to say before falling asleep again.

~·~·~·~

Emma knew Killian was feeling better, Henry had told her about their short chat, and some of her child's enthusiasm had even infected her positively, but she continued to feel restless, she wanted to make herself useful. Most of all, she wanted to see Killian again.

All this absurd situation was her fault. And no, she was not thinking about the fact that Killian was lying on a hospital bed because of some bad decisions she had made lately. No. She was not going down that path again. She had already spent a lot of hours regretting many choices done in the last month.

But this was nonsensical, why couldn’t she visit a friend that was hurt and maybe in need of some company? She had actually had a chance to say that she was his wife; after all in the eyes of her guests, she and Killian had a son together, so why not lie a bit more and make Mary Margaret believe that she and Killian were married. But the thought of a possible long time spent together on this planet feigning to be a happily married couple scared her, and she couldn’t go on with the lie.

So there she was, sitting on a very uncomfortable metal chair in the waiting room. She had spent more hours there than she could count.

David had passed by to greet his wife, and he had offered to take Henry with him, on the way back home. So she was left alone with her thoughts.

Mary Margaret peeked out the door with a steaming mug in her hand. “Take this. It will help.”

She agreed with a nod. “Thank you.” She sipped some of the hot liquid and it felt like her nerves were starting to relax a little.

“You should go home and rest. It's late.” The woman said.

“Mary Margaret let me enter.” Emma pleaded for the umpteenth time.

“We have already talked about it. You know I can’t do that. There are strict rules down here, and the best way for us to survive is to follow them.”

“This is insane. I’m not a dangerous criminal or someone who is plotting to destroy this planet. I just want to see him. Please.” She begged.

The dark-haired woman seemed to be pondering all the possible consequences. “All right.” She sighed. “Let’s just say that I’m going inside and leave the door ajar, by mistake, of course. I have to check some very important documents, so I’ll be busy and concentrated. I’m not going to ask you what you’re going to do in the next... fifteen minutes or so. Okay?”

“Thank you.” Emma handed her the cup back, rising from her chair. “You won’t regret it.”

After Mary Margaret disappeared behind the door, Emma waited some minutes before going after her. The room was large and there were many beds, she had no idea where Killian was, but after a quick look at the surroundings, she discovered that only a couple of all the beds were occupied.

She approached one of those and gently opened the curtain trying not to disturb the patient lying inside.

Killian seemed asleep. He was pale, with dark circles under his eyes. She could only imagine the pain he was going through. She had her heart in her throat because she felt responsible for the situation. If they hadn't taken a detour because she had requested it, they'd probably all be home safe and sound by now.

“Hey, beautiful.” He greeted her with a painful grin.

Immersed as she was in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that he had woken up. She smiled, trying to be strong and not show her inner turmoil. “Do they treat you well here?”

“I'm not complaining. The nurse is kind and the food is edible.” He tried to downplay the situation. “Although I would prefer the care and attention of a certain blonde.” He winked.

Emma chuckled. Then she went closer to him and sat down on the side of his bed, trying not to cause him any more pain. She looked him straight in the eye, and then, gently, she took his hand in hers, intertwining her fingers with his. She saw him swallow hard, and the beeping of his heartbeat accelerated on the monitor. She smiled softly again. “Thank you for saving my son’s life.”

She saw how he wet his lips before answering as if his mouth had been suddenly dry. “It was the right thing to do.” Was his answer, but his voice came out slightly choked.

Emma looked back, checking if any hospital employee was nearby, “I shouldn’t be here, and unfortunately my time is running out. But I wanted to see you... needed to see with my own eyes that you are ok... well, more or less.” She whispered, with her gaze lowered, avoiding eye contact. The physical connection of their joined hands was already arousing too many contradictory emotions inside her.

“Aye. I know the feeling.” He replied, letting her know that he had been eager to establish contact with her throughout his stay in the hospital.

At those words, she stared at him again. “Get well soon.” She bent down and dropped a mild kiss at the corner of his lips. “We need you.”

~·~·~·~

Killian was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. This time there was no way he would fall asleep again. Every time he thought about what had just happened his beeping monitor sped up. He blushed. It had been just a chaste kiss, nothing compared to the hot and breathtaking one they had shared a few days before. But she had said it had been a one-time thing and he had promised himself not to indulge in those lustful thoughts anymore. Yet, this last kiss had seemed much more real, and meaningful... it had left him with a feeling of hope.

Hope and distress. Emma was such a strong and beautiful woman, a marvelous creature, as he liked to describe her in his mind, and a princess even. And what was he? A rebel, and a scoundrel. Or a rapscallion... whatever. Okay, maybe not anymore, but he had been in the past, for many years. He had been trying to redeem himself lately. But was he worth enough of her? That was the million dollar question.

He was still ruminating on it when the known brunette peeked out the curtains. “Hello. How are you today?” She greeted him with a bright smile, as usual.

“Better.” He hoped the monitor on his right wasn’t showing his state of mind.

She came closer. “Do you mind if I check your ribs? It's time to change the dressing.” After a short pause, she added, “I'm sorry, but we don't have the best equipment to assist our patients. We have to work with what we have available on this planet.” She said pointing to the bands that covered his chest.

Killian nodded, and Mary Margaret started to untie the bandages. She seemed concentrated on her task, probably she was trying to avoid causing him any pain. It was only when she started to apply an ointment on the bruises, that she spoke again. “You love her.” It was just a whisper, and Killian doubted if he had heard correctly. But then she added “Emma.”

It wasn’t a question, and he pondered what was the correct answer, or if she was expecting one. “I'd go to the end of the world for her… Or the multiverse.” He said eventually.

“And she for you, I take it?”

Killian chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“What’s the problem?” She looked at him surprised. Then took some clean gauzes and started to wrap them on him.

“She's bloody brilliant, an amazing woman. She fights for her son and always does what’s right.” Killian’s voice was so full of admiration.

“Is there something wrong with it?” Mary Margaret inquired.

Killian shook his head again. “She raised the bar very high. The fact is, I don't think I measure up.”

The woman folded the old bandages and took the ointment bottle, then she stood up, she was making an exit when she stopped short. “Since you came here I've been watching you.”

“I don't know if I should be flattered or scared.” The man tried to ease the tension of the moment.

“We don’t have many foreigners on this planet, but believe me, you're not one of the bad guys. You sacrificed yourself for the sake of a young boy. There's good in your heart.” She smiled at him softly. “I’m going to look for the doctor; I bet you’ll be leaving this room soon.”

~·~·~·~

The following day started the same as the previous ones. But during the first hours of the evening a man in a white coat came to visit Killian. He explained the medications and precautions to be taken to him, some movements that he should avoid for a while, and other tips for a speedy recovery. Then he handed over some papers for the patient to sign to be discharged. Finally some good news.

After a while redressing and packing up his few belongings in his satchel Killian went to the door. Walking hurt a bit but nothing he couldn’t bear.

Mary Margaret was already waiting for him, and a tall blonde guy was with her. “You must be Jones.” He said. When they shook hands, Killian learned his name was David Nolan, and he remembered Henry had mentioned him in his conversations. “I’m going to take you to our humble abode.”

Nolan's house was in fact modest. A loft with a large dining room, a kitchenette, a bedroom, and a small bathroom on one corner, all open, without doors, except for the bathroom. There was a raised bedroom opposite it, whose access was a metal stair.

Dinner was good, if a little awkward. Emma didn't interact much, and Killian wanted to ask if something was troubling her, but he preferred to wait for a better time, perhaps a less crowded one. Henry entertained them with what he had done throughout the day and kept repeating how glad he was that Killian was back with them.

But the man was still a bit cautious with those new people around him. He didn’t know them, especially the Nolan guy, who had been silent for most of the dinner, glancing sidelong at him as if he wanted to study him thoroughly before making a personal judgment. The feeling was mutual, Killian thought.

Just after dessert, David started to speak. “What will you need to restore your ship?” He asked.

“Uh… a new stabilizer, I think, and some parts of the propulsion engine for sure. But I’ll have to look closely at the damages to be sure there’s nothing else broken.”

The blond man nodded. “Not many ships come and go from here. But I hope we can find all the pieces you need.”

“Thank you, mate.”

“Tomorrow I’ll take you to the hangar where your ship is. We’ll have a look at it.” He seemed sincere in his generosity.

“May I help?” Henry barged in.

A chorus of “No!” echoed the room.

“I appreciate the support, but it could be dangerous.” Killian explained.

“I hate being here. I feel trapped.” The boy complained.

Mary Margaret sighed. “This is a feeling that will vanish with time.”

The woman was no doubt trying to instill some optimism, but Killian didn't like the idea of staying in that place longer than necessary. “Well, then, let’s hope we could leave this planet before the feeling has entirely vanished.” He made a grin and passed his hand on his side.

“Time for resting.” The brunette stated although it sounded more like an order. “But before that, we should change those bandages. Emma, would you like to help me?”

“Me?” Emma, who had been silent and a bit on the sidelines all evening, seemed to re-emerge from wherever she’d gone.

“He won’t be able to do it by himself when you won’t live here anymore. It’s better if you learn how to help him.” Mary Margaret clarified.

Emma looked like she was going to object, but in the end, she asserted. “Sure.”

~·~·~·~

If a certain nervousness had taken hold of Emma as she climbed to the upstairs room, it disappeared the instant Mary Margaret helped Killian get rid of his shirt. That wasn’t a thorax, it was a nautical chart. Most of it was covered by gauze, but she could still spot many marks and scars.

There was a tattoo, two of them to be exact, but Emma saw just one at first. It was on his right forearm; it was a big red heart with a dagger running through and the name “Milah” across it. Emma made a mental note to ask him later who she was.

Mary Margaret showed her how to unfasten the bandages, and then she ordered her to stand behind him, to help better in removing them all.

On his back, Emma saw the second tattoo, on his right shoulder. It was an old nautical instrument she had read about in a book when she was younger, but she couldn’t remember the exact name. The drawing was beautifully detailed, even if it had faded, it was probably older than the other one, she thought.

And when all the gauze was out of the way, she saw them: tiny, blurred, old scars that studded most of his back. Emma wondered what kind of life he had to endure when he was very young.

Mary Margaret asked her to help with the ointment. She had already opened the bottle and was showing the blonde woman how much cream to use. But Emma wasn't listening, standing now in front of the man, her attention was caught by the glorious chest hair that was covering most of his torso.

Okay, there was also a big, horrible bruise on his right ribs, but Mary Margaret was saying that it seemed on the way to a fast recovery, if the yellow and purple veining was some indication.

Emma was ogling and she wasn’t ashamed of it either. The amount of hair decreased in the lower part of his chest, leaving a black trail that disappeared under the hem of his pants.

"See something you like?" Emma was abruptly taken back to reality by a smug Killian that was smirking at her while arching an eyebrow. She blushed. She was caught red-handed, but she couldn’t let him win. She took advantage of the fact that Mary Margaret was looking for something in a nearby drawer, to get closer to him. She looked at him lasciviously from under her lashes. “Maybe?” She purred.

Now it was his time to blush, he looked intently at his feet, but she found the bright red that appeared on his ears extremely endearing. Point for Emma.

Mary Margaret taught the other woman how to fix the bandages, and Emma had to use some tiny hooks to hold them together. She did not miss the opportunity to casually slide her fingers over a part of his chest hair that came out of the bandages.

“Bloody Hell!” Killian muttered.

Emma retreated her hand immediately. “Sorry. Did I hurt you?” Worries that she had done something wrong clouded her gaze.

“Apologies.” Killian was scratching behind his ear, in evident embarrassment. “While I do enjoy two lovely ladies attending to my needs, I'm not used to someone taking care of me…” He smiled and brought his mouth close to Emma’s ear: “I’m usually the one who devotes full attention to a woman’s needs.” He whispered, but clearly not as quietly as he would have liked, because Mary Margaret's answer - “Well, you will have to put that off for a while” - made him blush again like a schoolboy scolded by his teacher.

~·~·~·~

Suddenly it was bedtime. Everyone was busy making preparations and taking shifts for the bathroom to change for the night. Killian was upstairs, staring at the bed he knew he had to share with Emma, who was arranging a pillow on the nearby sofa. He passed a hand through his hair and then scratched a spot behind his right ear. “I'll crash on that couch.” He stated as if it was the most logical conclusion to a battle he was fighting inside.

“Don't be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “It's barely long enough for Henry. Plus, you’re still recovering, you absolutely need to rest.”

He didn't seem very convinced. “Emma, I'm not sure this is a good idea.”

“And why is that?” Was her exasperated reply, turning towards him with her hands on her hips. “What are you going to do? Seduce me with a couple of broken ribs and a ten-year-old boy sleeping next to us?”

He lifted his arms and surrendered. “Fair point.” He conceded.

In no time they were all ready for the night and Henry was snoring softly on the sofa. Killian was supine, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the events of the day. In any case, sleep had no intention of coming, but he tried not to move. He didn’t want to wake up his roommates. Emma was lying close with her back to him and he didn’t know if she was already in the arms of Morpheus.

He turned his head to observe how her upper body moved with the rhythm of her breathing, blond curls covering her shoulders. Killian had to repress the urge to touch them. And as if responding to his call, she stirred and turned to face him.

Her eyes opened lazily. “Still awake?” She murmured.

“I have the feeling that I’ve slept enough for the rest of my life.” He whispered. “But you can’t rest either, I see.”

She didn’t answer.

Perhaps it was the closeness, perhaps it was the fact that they had spent the last few days apart. Killian didn't know how he found the courage, but he lifted his left arm as an invitation. “Come here,” he said.

She seemed to ponder the situation, chewing her bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He decided not to think about all the possible implications of that sentence. He was falling in love with her, he was aware of it. Probably the simple doubt that she might not reciprocate was already hurting him, but he knew that at that moment she was referring only to his physical bruises. “You won’t.”

She slipped under the sheets towards him, resting her head gently on his left shoulder and placing a hand on his chest, avoiding the bruised part. Not many minutes passed before her lids grew heavy and she dozed off to the rhythm of his heartbeats. Killian placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

#cs ff #cs au #Till the Stars Had Run Away #alternative universe #science fiction #space au #my writing

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brelione · 4 years

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Toxic PT 2 (Rafe Cameron X Reader)

Request:plz make a part 2 to toxic!!!!

Pt 1

Warnings:Smut,unhealthy relationships.

He had stayed awake for hours that night.He had tried calling you at least 20 times only for you to block his number.He had decided that enough was enough, getting dressed in actual clothes before quietly leaving his house and starting his drive to yours.

He hadnt been to your house in two weeks, you had claimed that it was too messy and that you didnt really want him to be there.He pulled into your driveway,seeing the red lights on through your window.

He had no idea why you liked the red lights so much but he figured you just had them because you could.He remembered the first time he had been over your house.

It had been a ‘date’.You two sat on your bed, scrolling through netflix.Your room was lit with the red led lights that were sticking to your wall, the remote not too far away. “Wait,wait...wait, hold on.Can I change the color?”He had asked, giggling like a child when you said yes.He had pressed all the buttons, making purple and blue before settling on a cotton candy pink. “Are you done?”You had asked, laughing at how excited he had been over colored lights.He nodded, finally handing you the remote back.

He got out of his truck,trying his best not to slam the door.He knew that your parents had gone to the mainland for the weekend.He reached under one of your plants to find the spare key,opening your door.

You had told him where it was in case of emergencies.You were his go to person whenever he got into an argument with Ward and didnt want to be at his house for a moment longer, instead driving to your house for a kiss, a hug and sex.

He licked his lips nervously, sighing before making his way upstairs and into your room, opening the door.It felt like it had been forever since he had sat on your bed with your body resting against him, his arms around your waist.

It had been long since you guys had even had a nice little moment like that, cuddling and innocent kisses.He loved sex but he still missed those little joys of the relationship.His eyes widened at what he saw.

You were on your bad in just your bra and underwear, the red light making your room look like the pits of hell.You turned to look at Rafe,sitting up and glaring at him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?I blocked you for a reason, get the fuck out!”You shouted at him.Of course you were mad at him.It wasnt really mad about him cheating, you were more mad about who he had cheated on you with.Anyone else you could understand but you couldnt understand Ellie.

Even if he was high or drunk or whatever excuse he had.She was a total bitch.You didnt even consider Rafe your boyfriend, you had considered him more of a friend with benefits since you guys had began to drift emotionally.

He gulped,feeling himself beginning to shake. “I just-i want-want to fix things.”He mumbled, taking in a deep breath. “Yeah?You should’ve thought about that before you fucked Ellie.You think I give a shit about you,Rafe?You’re stupider than I thought, youre just my fuck buddy.Now get out of my house before I call the cops.”You glared up at him, watching his eyes fill up with tears.

He shook his head, trying to speak. “No,no you cant-you love me.You do!Have you been lying this whole time?”Tears rolled down his face,trying to breath but forgetting how.You licked your lips, leaning back on the mattress.You knew how this would end, with his cock buried inside of you as he tried to convince you that he actually cared about you.

“Rafe, I dont love anyone.That includes you, okay?Its not my fault that you have a thing for me, thats on you.Its your fault for fucking some other bitch, understand?”You asked, not missing the way that his eyes flicked down to your slightly parted legs.

“But….but you care about me?Dont you?”He asked but it sounded more like a sob.You sighed,shrugging. “Rafe, you know I dont give two shits about anybody.You’re just a good fuck, alright?”You needed him to understand.

You could tell that he was breaking apart right in front of you and it pulled at your heart strings as you watched him cry.You wanted to love him but it just didnt seem possible. “Stop crying, Rafe.”You stood up, wiping the salty tears from his face. “So….so are we done?Are we...we cant...we’re not fucking anymore?”He asked,making you laugh quietly.

“No feelings attached, understand?”You asked.This was probably one of the worst things you had ever done.You were most definitely a toxic person and that was as clear as the water at the private beaches.

He nodded,sniffling a bit before blinking away the tears that were building up in his blue eyes.You stood on your tip toes, kissing him gently.He melted under your touch,his hands touching your waist lightly almost like he was scared he would break you.

He really loved you, he was positive that he did.He just couldnt figure out how to show it.You slowly stepped backwards,bringing him with you as you laid on the bed,your legs wrapping around his waist.You pulled away,leaving kisses and hickeys down his neck.He let out a soft moan, obsessed with the way you felt against his body.

He was obsessed with you in general, the way you made him feel was absolutely insane.His eyes focused on your face, you were now straddling him, the red light hitting your cheekbones beautifully.He didnt know when his shirt was pulled off, your eyes falling down to the hickies that Ellie had left.

“Hmm...she’s not too good at that.”Your finger tips grazed his chest,stopping at every hickey the girl had left.He nodded, agreeing. “You’re so much better...she just wanted to make you mad.”He leaned up for a kiss only for you to push him back down,your hand on his throat.

“I know, seems like she made you more mad though.”You looked over to your door, noticing the small dents the two of you had made.It only took a few more moments for the two of you to be completely naked,Rafe turning the two of you over so he could be in control.

He didnt need to take out anger, he just wanted to be gentle this time.He wanted to make you feel good so he could apologize, wanting to enjoy this with you now in case this was his last time being in your bed.He slid in and out of you slowly, hitting all the spots deep inside of you.He wanted to whisper that he loved you over and over again.

No feelings attached,he remembered,instead just resting his head in the crook of your neck as you tugged at his hair.He was trying not to cry,biting hard on his lip to hold back the tears,pressing his body against yours, clinging onto you like a life line.

“Rafe...Rafe,please….please go faster.”You whimpered,your legs around his waist, trying to urge him to go faster. “Hmm….why should I?”He grinned,looking down at you.You rolled your eyes, gripping his jaw. “Because you love me,dont you?”You asked.He gulped,nodding.

“Then why dont you want me to feel good?Dont you want me to feel good,daddy?”You pouted,grinning when you saw his eyes widen.He was quick to speed up,pulling out so his tip was barely grazing your entrance before slamming in,his eyes rolling back at the scream you let out.

“Fuck, Rafe.”You whimpered,nails scratching red lines into his back. “You’re so tight….you feel so good.”He moaned,nails digging into your hips. “Did Ellie feel this good?”You asked,tugging at his hair so he’d look up at you. “No...never.”He answered, leaning down to kiss you gently.

“I know.”You bit down on his lip,able to tell that he was close. “Im gonna cum.”He was bruising the skin of your thighs but you didnt care. “Hold it.”You told him.He looked surprised, never hearing that from you before. “What?”He asked.

“Hold it.”You repeated,turning him onto his back, fingertips pressing into his throat as you rolled your hips against him. “Please.”He clenched his eyes shut, in physical pain from his need to finish. “Nope, you fucked another girl.You dont deserve it.”You answered, squeezing harder on his throat as you came,getting off of him.

He was angry, staring down at his still hard cock. “But-but what about me?”He asked as you panted,getting your panties back on. “You should’ve thought about that before.You should go, ive got things to do.”You pulled on a pair of short shorts, not bothering to put on a bra as you pulled a thin yellow shirt on.

He had seen the shirt on his floor before, peeling it off of your body and throwing it to the floor.He felt tempted to look through your closet for any of his clothes, any proof that you had once been his.

He had plenty of your stuff, a small stuffed animal, a gold ring that he often wore on his pinkie, sunglasses that you had left at his poolside.He kept your stuff mainly to reassure himself that you were an actual person and that you guys were actually together.He had wondered if you did the same, knowing that you probably didnt but wanted a solid answer anyways.

“What?”He asked,his voice cracking.You sighed,putting your hair into a bun, sliding on your shoes. “You heard me, Rafe.”You replied,handing him his shorts from your floor.He was still shaking as he pulled on his clothes, his hair disheveled and his face red.

“So- so tomorrow?Like, you’ll come over tomorrow and we can do some stuff.”He played with his fingers anxiously, taking in a deep breath. “Okay.”You answered, tying your converse. “Okay...um...will you unblock me?”He asked, tapping his foot on the floor.You shook your head, telling him to leave.

He closed your door, trying not to think too much as he got into his truck, staring up at your window,seeing you leaning your elbows on the window sill,smoking a blunt.

He knew that relationships should never be like this you were as toxic as they come but he just couldnt get enough of you.It really did suck but it was just the way things were and he’d have to learn to accept it, backing out of your driveway.

@sexytholland @28cnn @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae

@sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

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#rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron imagine #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe x y/n #outerbanks rafe #rafe fanfiction #drew starkey #outer banks #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron headcanon #rafe #obx

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andyet-here-we-are · 4 years

Text

I Would Get Into Millions of Accidents Just to See You, Chapter 1

For @wolfgeralt as a little ‘thank you’ for his stunning art -which I really adore, you can see it here: (x)

and for @hecky-heckicravedeath (x) who gave me inspiration for this fanfiction. Also Thanks @3tothe1 for being my beta. (You’re such a sweetheart, and I love you so much)

Anyway, I hope you like it, my dear Witchlings! 💛

I present you: NURSE GERALT!

Chapter 1 Word Count: 2461

ao3: (x)

Chapter 2 Tumblr link: (x) Chapter 3 Tumblr link: (x) Chapter 4 Tumblr Link: (x)

When Geralt arrives for his shift, still feeling exhausted from yesterday, he has no idea what’s waiting for him at the hospital. His days are never too ordinary because you never know what you’ll come across.

That’s a part of being a nurse.

But he could never think that one of the not-so-famous musicians, his daughter, Ciri adores, was going to have a terrible traffic accident—which somehow isn’t on the news—and end up in the hospital he works at.

He already knows his name since Ciri just can’t stop talking about how nice he is and how he sounds like an angel. To the point where sometimes Geralt wants to say “Okay he is wonderful, so kind and lovely and you really love him, I get it. Can you please just keep eating your pasta? Yes Ciri, yes, I know that pasta is his favorite food, you say that every time we’re having pasta. ”

Geralt isn’t there for his intake, apparently, the accident happened last night, and the musician was badly injured.

Jaskier has a ruptured spleen that caused internal hemorrhaging, which the doctors were able to repair. He also has a mild concussion, a couple of broken ribs, along with some cuts and a broken leg which he is probably going to need another surgery for.

Since the other nurse who was responsible for Jaskier last night, is having some family issues and has to take his annual leave, Jaskier is in Geralt’s care now, they let Geralt know.

When Geralt is home, Ciri starts talking about how Jaskier hadn’t posted anything in two days, and how worried she is since Jaskier had promised them a new song, “He never breaks his promises,” she says.

Geralt thinks that keeping the fact that the young man was in a traffic accident to himself is a better idea.

***

Three days later, when Geralt cracks open the door to Jaskier’s room, the man still sounds asleep, his chest rising and falling with every slow breath he takes as the morphine keeps dripping into his system. It’s enough to keep him subdued, if not completely pain-free.

He checks his IV, and takes a few notes onto his clipboard, right before the musician comes to, his eyelids fluttering.

And damn if he hasn’t got the most breathtaking eyes he has ever seen in his whole life. Even when they lack the spark Geralt is sure they normally hold in them.

Jaskier is confused, of course. So he tells him about what has happened and clears his throat before speaking.

“Mr. Pankratz, I need to take your vitals and then give you some medicines for the pain, may I have your arm?”

“Hell you can, might as well take my poor heart that seems to be beating for—” Jaskier flirts and coughs before he has the chance to finish, his voice is low and hoarse from lack of use.

Geralt makes no comments, and fills a cup of water for him instead, helping him to drink it. He is surprised by the musician’s flattering words, and he is also glad that he is good at keeping a neutral expression on his face.

“…you.” He finishes. “Well, I would normally use the ‘am I dead and in Heaven?’ cliché, but, see,” Jaskier keeps talking after sipping some water “I’m in too much pain to think that I’m in heaven. You sure look like a sexy angel or something though. Ohoho, are you gonna give me a sponge bath, too? Just wondering. If so, I’m totally down for it. Just so you know.”

Geralt can’t help but snort at that a bit, “Do you always talk that much?”

“Maybe it’s you who doesn’t talk enough, you ever considered that?” Jaskier teases, and then suddenly his whole playful expression changes like he remembered that he had left his cat on the stone, and he frowns to himself, “Oh God, three days you said? Shitshitshit,” he drops his head back onto his pillows in a way too dramatic manner, covering his eyes with one hand “I had promised them a new song,” the nurse hears him mumbling “I am such an idiot.”

Jaskier truly seems so disappointed in himself that Geralt feels the need of comforting him. The man had a traffic accident, for crying out loud!

And yet, he is concerned for his fans because he couldn’t keep his promise, rather than being worried for himself.

Not even an hour has passed since he had the chance to talk to the man, but he already can see why Ciri likes this guy that much.

“It’s not your fault that some idiot decided that running a red light and colliding with your car was a good idea,” Geralt says “don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Jaskier still seems disappointed, but he mumbles a silent 'thank you’ before he says “ you may be right, but I promised them.”

***

Days go like this: Jaskier keeps flirting with him every time Geralt steps into his room to check on him and give him his medicines. Geralt never flirts back because of obvious reasons, but he never tells him to stop either, even though he does judge him with his eyes now and then.

The moments Geralt can spend with the man is the most he feels happy at work.

He can’t even deny that at this point.

Ciri keeps asking him why he looks happier nowadays, and why he suddenly became clumsy all of a sudden because he loses his focus easily.

“Who is the reason behind your smile? I gotta know! C’mon, it’s not fair! Don’t leave me hanging like this!” She insists, being the stubborn girl she is, and after a second she grins like cheshire cat “You’ve finally met someone special?”

“…I might have, pumpkin” is his answer. “I might have.”

***

He doesn’t know why, but Geralt doesn’t like Thursdays. Well, it’s probably because everything bad has ever happened to him seemed to happen on Thursdays, usually.

And sadly, this Thursday is no exception.

Hank, a seventy years old man who has been here for more than a month, and who has been very ill passes away. Who he had become really close with and really cared about.

Jaskier catches his change of mood when he goes to check on him and simply says, “Talk to me. I mean, you don’t have to. But you look like you could use a friend. And I’m so bored of watching television anyway.”

So Geralt talks to him.

He talks about Hank, about how wise he was. He talks about how he has been working here for years but how it still affects him so much when someone passes away. How he doesn’t suppose to feel a connection with his patients, how terrible of a nurse that makes him.

“That makes you human, not a terrible nurse.” Jaskier assures him, his voice as gentle as always. “Believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Geralt isn’t sure when Jaskier’s hand finds his hand as they talk, and when his dainty looking, long fingers link with his; but the intimate gesture feels so natural, so right that he just lets him.

***

Jaskier has surgery for his right leg the next day, and it’s not the first time that Geralt hears his patients saying the most ridiculous things after their surgery, thanks to the sedation.

But oh boy, if Jaskier doesn’t take it to a whole new level.

“Maaarry meee, my dear nurse!” the musician yells, “we could make the most adorable babies together! One of them would have my voice, one of them would have your weirdly sexy brooding or something. One of them would have my…. my tongue? Or eyes? Cheeks! Yes, cheeks. And the other would have your lips while the other would have your… DIMPLE! I love that cute dimple you have on your jaw! ”

Geralt laughs, because how can he not?

“That’s biologically impossible.” the nurse says. “Also how many kids you have in mind? That was awfully a lot.”

“Hmm, let’s see. Marie, Duchess,” Jaskier starts to count with his fingers, and he looks so damn adorable that Geralt finds it extremely hard to not just reach out and ruffle his hair. “Thomas O'Malley, Toulouse, and Berlioz. So, six!”

“It’s five, actually,” Geralt tilts his head to the side slightly and corrects him with a fond, little smile. “So… you’re planning to name your kids after The Aristocats?”

“Our kids, mind you. And I’m not straight, love. You can’t expect me to do the math, I don’t make the rules.”

Love.

He just called Geralt ‘love’

“He probably calls ‘love’ everyone,” the nurse reminds himself and swallows, not being able to focus on what Jaskier says for a minute or so. “You’re no special.”

But the way Jaskier utters that one word, makes him feel like he is lying to himself.

When he can finally focus on what he is saying, Jaskier is still talking about the same topic.

“…and you should be grateful that I’m not planning to name them after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! If we’re gonna have more than six, I’m totally doing that though.”

“Why Mr. Pankratz, we’re not even married yet. But I already don’t have a say in anything, it seems.” Geralt can’t help but tease with the young man in return.

Jaskier waves one hand weakly: “Don’t take this as my marriage proposal though, I’m better than that. If I were to propose to you I would do that in the most wonderful way. Roses, candles, and everything. Even fireworks.”

Geralt remains silent, so Jaskier talks again: “And ya know, joking aside, actually we couldn’t name them unless we adopted them when they were babies.”

“Why do you want so many kids?” the nurse wonders, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, growing up in a foster care system will do that to you,” Jaskier lets out a loud and somehow cute yawn.

Geralt knows that he wasn’t even supposed to ask that, and he shouldn’t even listen to Jaskier rambling about his life, which he won’t even remember after the sedative effect wears off.

But he can’t suppress his need of knowing more about him.

He just can’t.

“Wanna adopt as many kids as I can, so I can provide ’em a life filled full of love and everything they deserve. All the beautiful things in the universe. All the things I couldn’t have when I was a kid.” Jaskier admits, and his words make Geralt’s heart clench in his chest.

At that moment, Geralt is sure that he is falling so hard for the musician.

Maybe he already did.

“Don’t think that I’m not gonna name our dogs after them though. Or cats.” Jaskier mumbles. He looks like he is just two seconds away from falling into a deep sleep.

Right when he moves to leave, Jaskier grabs his hand as he softly, sweetly whispers, “Geralt, don’t leave me.” And he sounds so vulnerable, so weak that the nurse’s heart skips a beat in his chest.

Geralt would love to say that he doesn’t leave all night, but he has other patients he needs to check on, so he leaves.

But not before staying for five minutes as he holds the musician’s hand, and watches him fall asleep. Nobody needs to know, right?

***

The next day, Jaskier doesn’t remember most of the things he had said last night, but somehow he remembers that Geralt had stayed for a while.

That day, feeling guilty about yesterday, Geralt talks about his life.

“It’s only fair,” he thinks.

He talks about Ciri, and he lets the musician know how crazy his daughter is about him. That makes Jaskier smile at him warmly, but then again, his smile is always like this.

Warmer than the sun on a hot summer day.

Blushing, Jaskier hesitantly says that he would love to meet her. His big, baby blue eyes seem to be searching for something in Geralt’s eyes.

And Geralt understands that he finds whatever he was searching for when Geralt nods and says: “We would love that, too.”

***

“Look! Jaskier finally posted something!” Ciri says one morning while they are having breakfast, well, more like Ciri is having breakfast, and Geralt is just busy with his coffee since he is in a hurry.

“Hmm?”

“Wait, was this an ‘I’m Actually Curious About What You Have To Say’ type of ‘hmm’? Because it definitely didn’t sound like your usual ‘I Don’t Care’ type of ‘hmm’. Nice! That might be the first time you actually seem curious about what I have to say about him.” Ciri smiles, and lets out a sad, little “Oh.” After reading whatever Jaskier had posted.

“He says that he is having some minor health issues…”

Geralt huffs at that.

‘Minor health issues’

If what he had gone through is “minor” to Jaskier, Geralt doesn’t even want to imagine what “major health issues” mean in his dictionary.

But he is sure that the only reason why the musician says “minor” is because he doesn’t want to worry his fans.

“‘I am in good hands though—I mean it, really really good hands—so no need to worry. Love you all, xoxo’ Hmm… I hope it’s nothing serious.”

The nurse looks at his daughter’s phone screen and the excessive amount of winking face emojis after ‘really really good hands’ part catches his attention.

He tries to hide his smile behind his black coffee mug.

And luckily, he succeeds.

***

A few days later, it’s time for Jaskier to be discharged from the hospital. And Geralt feels a bit sad about it, to be honest. Because he is already used to having the young man around.

To his never-ending flirting and jokes, to his smile, to his everything.

But the good thing is, that means that he will be no longer his patient.

Jaskier gives him his number before he leaves, and tells Geralt to call him whenever he is free.

“I’m totally getting into another accident and make sure they bring me here if you don’t call, Mr. Handsome Nurse,” the musician jokes in a low voice.

“We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Geralt smiles. “You can be sure that I’ll call, Jaskier. And we can even have some pasta maybe.”

It’s the first time that Geralt calls him by his first name, and the nurse can see how the other man’s smile widens when he does that, eyes sparkling.

“Wow. Now I have no doubt about how much Ciri talks about me,“ scratching the back of his head, Jaskier chuckles shyly, and it’s music to his ears. Ciri is right. He does sound like an angel.

"Till we meet again, Geralt. Till we meet again.”

#the witcher #jaskier #geraskier #jaskier x geralt #dandelion #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt z rivii #the witcher fanfiction #nurse geralt au #I Would Get Into Millions Of Accidents Just To See You #my writing

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it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream · 4 years

Text

Mr. I want suck your blood - Pt 4

Warning: Mentions of violence and Swearing

Word count: 2,451

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In stories, Soulmates were meant to be the real deal. They were forever. They were two individuals who were brought together by the universe so their lives finally made perfect sense.

You'd never heard of Soulmates ‘Taking a break’ or ‘Splitting up,’ it wasn't something that happened. That’s not what happened in the stories.

Thats just the thing though. Life isn't a story. Life’s a bitch.

Y/N POV

It had been 1 Hour 19 minutes and 45 seconds since Carlisle shattered your world. 1 Hour, 22 minutes and 23 seconds since you had ripped out your IV line and stormed out of the Cullen house. 1 Hour, 28 minutes and 15 seconds, since Carlisle Cullen, your SOULMATE, decided to call it quits.

Carlisle’s words were still ringing in your ears. “It’s safer this way.” or “Now you can live a normal human life.” You felt numb.

-1 Hour, 19 minutes and 45 seconds ago-

You looked up as you saw Carlisle standing in the wooden door frame. You smiled and placed a hand on your fast beating heart relieved to see him unscathed. Bella had swiftly exited the room. It was just the two of you now. You could tell straight away that something was wrong. Your heart started racing again.

You sat there and listened, as Carlisle took your hand and proceeded to shatter your world. He’d decided that being together, it was too dangerous. He couldn't put you in danger again, couldn’t watch you bleed in his arms again. You both argued. It was his over protective nature, that was the cause of this.

“What about Bella and Edward? She’s still human?!” Apparently it was an invalid argument. Invalid my ass. He wouldn't budge. He thought some time apart would be for the best, even if saying it did secretly pain him.

You were angry, so angry that you ripped out your own IV, not without gagging of course. The screaming and arguing drew the attention of the rest of the Cullen household. Bella was trying to calm you down and stop your arm from bleeding, while Edward and Esme were talking to Carlisle.

You didn't care anymore. How dare he. How could he do this to you? You didn't ask for this life. You'd been dragged into it head first. You'd accepted him for all he was. Before all of this you WERE a normal teenager, with normal teenage problems!

You didn't want normal anymore. You wanted Carlisle, the Volturi, wolves and blood singers. You wanted it all, but just like that, he took it away.

You hadn't wasted any time running through the house, past Alice, Rose and Jasper and to your car. You say run, more like fast walked, your legs were still jelly from lying in bed the last couple of days. Alice had tried to stop you on the way out but Jasper told her to let you go, he could feel the pain and anger radiating of you in waves.

The first thing you did when you got to your car was check your glove box for cigarettes. You got in and slammed the door, you could see Carlisle fighting to try and get passed Edward and Emmett but they wouldn't let him out. You looked over to see Bella running toward your car. You waited. She jumped in the passenger side and neither of you spoke a word. You didn't have to. You started the engine and it came to life with a roar, you peeled out of the Cullen’s drive way with tears streaming down your face and a cigarette between your lips. You fucking hated Forks.

Bella had made you pull over halfway home, scared the tears were clouding your vision. She was probably right, the road ahead did look quite blurry. You traded places and carried on towards home. She was talking to you but you weren't really listening, just watching the trees speed past in a blur, you were sure you could see other objects moving beside you through the trees just as fast, but blinked and they were gone.

-2 weeks later-

Grand Piano by Nicki Minaj blared through the speakers on repeat, you sat staring blankly at your sketchpad, no inspiration, no drive.. nothing. It had been like this for two weeks. Bella had apparently been the same, but you just couldn't shake it. You'd shut yourself off from everyone. Only coming out of your room to get food and use the bathroom. You felt numb.

You could tell your Mom and Charlie were starting to worry. They'd tried to talk to you, find out whats wrong. All they knew is someone broke your heart bad. You'd started having nightmares the first night you were without Carlisle. They felt like more than nightmares though, so vivid, almost like premonitions. You'd wake up still screaming in a cold sweat clutching your chest and crying. Crying for everything you lost when Carlisle let you go. You'd never been in love before and if it felt like this then you never wanted to be again. You didn't think you could love again.

You were spaced out, the music was still playing in the background but your mind was somewhere else, another thing that had been happening since the accident. You just went places, like you were daydreaming, lost in a trance. This time was different though. It was if you were actually there, watching things unfold, only when you came to you were in your bedroom, your paints scattered everywhere, your sketchbook now covered in imagery. You gasped and flew back from your desk, the page awash with shades of vibrant red and black. You gagged. Blood….. and a symbol, it was an emblem of some sort. You shook your head and closed the book on the now dry paints.

What the fuck.

It happened a few more times after that. The spacing out, coming back to earth having drawn on something or once, even scratched symbols into your desk. You'd practically stopped sleeping. Too many thoughts in your head. Even Bella was getting worried, she knew what it was like to spiral and you were doing it at 100mph. She’d suggested talking to Carlisle but you shouted at her for even bringing him up. He left you and hadn't made any attempt to contact or see you. Why give him the satisfaction.

You'd decided enough was enough. You had to start living your life again, or at least thats what you tried to tell yourself. Today you were going to see Seth. You’d become quite close friends with Seth since getting involved in the whole supernatural side of life but you'd been shutting him out for weeks, he knew what had happened with Mr I want to suck you blood, but he didn't ask questions, which you were grateful for. You thought it would do you some good to get outside and breath in the fresh air. You couldn't wallow in self pity any longer.

It felt weird to be in normal clothes rather than ratty old pyjamas. You parked up, jumping out of your car, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. You had brought your sketchbook with you, you didn't know who to talk to about these things, so you were going to show one to Seth, just to see if he recognised anything.

You couldn't help but breath deeply as the air floated off the salty sea and toward your face. You smiled as you watched Seth running down the beach. His boyish grin was charming and his smile grew as he got closer to you. He wrapped you in a hug and you hugged back desperate for a bit of normalcy.

“Hey Seth,” You grinned, thankful for a bit of human, well in this case werewolf, connection. Yeah you had Bella.. and Alice had tried to stop by from time to time, but at the minute they were just a constant reminder of him….

“Y/N! I missed you, things have been so strange without seeing you around ya know!” You bumped his shoulder as you walked down the beach. It had been strange. You'd moved to Forks, got involved with Vamps and the supernatural and in all this time you'd never had any normal time to yourself, or with a friend.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, you know the whole…. thing…” He just nodded his head. You didn't have to explain, he was just happy you were there now.

You'd spent hours just walking and talking on the beach. While walking you had bumped into some of the others as well, Sam, Paul…. You got along with them too, but they had never agreed with your relationship. They seemed somewhat more comfortable around you now. Catching up was good, you felt a lot lighter when you walked, your heart a little less heavy, he was still in the back of your mind though, as much as you tried to think about anything else.

There was an abandoned fire pit a little further up from where you'd been talking with the others, logs surrounded the ashy mound, placed out like small earthy benches. You'd been collecting odd pieces of wood on the way, expecting to find it there. Yourself and Seth pilled the kindling high and he started a fire, he didn't really need to because of his heat, but it was still fun. As Seth continued the fire you reached around and grabbed your leather backpack, opening the zip and fishing inside for your paint covered sketchbook. He came to sit beside you as you started flicking through the pages. You tried to glance at him from the corner of your eye to read his expressions.

“Y/N, these are pretty amazing, and… somewhat scary…” He looked at the book and then back at you. “What are they?” His finger traced the images and the symbols.

You shook your head and flicked through the pages more rapidly. “I don't know S, I…if I tell you something you have to promise you wont tell anyone, not even Sam, not even Jake….” You gulped and looked up at him. He looked confused. You faltered a little, getting nervous you shut your book and started to shove it in your bag. “This was stupid, I should go…” You stood up trying to leave but Seth grabbed your hand.

“I wont tell, you can trust me I promise.” You relaxed, still hesitant, you sat back down. You took the sketchbook back out and went to the first page, tracing the symbols and images, remembering how clearly you had seen them in your mind.

“I drew these. But I didn’t, at the same time.” Seth just looked even more confused now. “I think…. I think something happened to me when I was bitten S…. Something I cant explain. This symbol, I drew this, sat at my desk, one minute the sky outside was light, the next thing I knew it was dark, and the once blank page was covered in all these drawings!” You flicked through the book and sighed placing your head in your hands. He probably thought you were crazy. You sure felt crazy.

You felt his hand rest on your back as you hunched over sighing. “Y/N I’m a wolf, The Cullen’s are Vampires… crazier things have happened, i’ve just never heard of this crazy happening yet….”

You peaked at him from your hands. “Do you know what any of the symbols mean? I see them in my dreams as well, it’s like i’m watching a movie in my head, it’s like I'm there but no one can hear me or see me.. It feels so real.” You sit up, flicking through the pages, before you can turn to the next, Seth’s hand comes flying down stopping the process as he points to one of the symbols.

“Y/N, I’ve seen that symbol before… I think it’s something to do with the cold ones.. the Volturi to be exact.” You groan. This cant be fucking happening. Not only were you dumped now you were having freaky Volturi dreams as well? You searched in your bag for your cigarettes, you held the packet out to Seth and he surprisingly took one. You grinned.

“Wow Sethy never took you for the rebel type.” He ruffled your hair and you shoved him. “Seriously though what am I going to do, this shouldn't be happening i’m human, I didn't turn, Carlisle made sure of that.” You couldn't hide the bitter tone in your voice.

“I don’t know what it means Y/N, but I promise we will figure it out.. cant you talk to Cull…” You glared at him before he could finish his sentence. “Never mind, stupid idea, ignore me.” You laughed and you both carried on looking through the book. What the hell did this mean?

It was late now, Seth walked you to your car, his body still close to keep you warm, the sea breeze now icy cold on your skin. You sighed, part of you didn't want to leave, it was the first kind of normal you'd felt in a really long time, even before coming to Forks. Life in your old place had been really hard, You didn't fit in anywhere, you could count your friends on one hand and you had a strange relationship with your bio dad. You thought things would get easier, Forks had the smallest population and yet you managed to find yourself smack bang in the middle of all this drama, you'd thank Bella for that later. You thought it would be easier living here, maybe you were wrong.

You turned, looking at Seth as you reached your car, you were about to tell him you'd had a nice time, ask him if he wanted to hang out again soon, but you couldn't speak. The waves sounded louder, the air around you felt thicker and you couldn't breath. You could hear Seth’s muffled voice in the background somewhere and a pair of arms shaking you but in your head you were somewhere else entirely.

Cloaks of black floating across the white pearlescent snow, rivers of red blood flowing all around. Wicked eyes staring into yours, and then pain.

You screamed and grabbed your head, it felt like someone had jabbed it with a white hot poker. Images flashed before your eyes, Volturi, Snow, Red, Carlisle. You gagged, so much blood, so much pain. Then, nothing.

Your mind went dark, no images now, no sound, just the sharp ache as you feel your body shut down and hit the solid ground, then the coldness surrounded you.

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Hey guys! I’m sorry it took so long for me to post another part! Hope you enjoy reading x Please comment if you'd like to be tagged!

PT 5 -------- HERE

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@thechangingcolourswithinthewoods

@scream-kiwi79

@kettnerjanea

@caraboo15

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gracelessfighters · 4 years

Text

Dragonfly - Chapter 6

JJ Maybank x female!reader series

Summary: JJ and reader spend the day together, building on their feelings they’ve now admitted to each other but an accident ruins the end of the day (my summaries literally get worse with every one I write)

Word Count: 1.8k (shorter than the others I really struggled with what to write)

Warnings: language, injury (grammar probably)

Catch up: Chapters 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out but i didn’t know what I wanted to write (tbh I don’t even like what ive written but I needed to write something) and I still dont know how I want this series to end but it’ll probably be only another chapter or two - feedback is always appreciated :)

You had moved slightly in the night, but when you woke up, JJ’s arms were still around you, holding you close. You rolled over so you could look at him, his breathing still heavy as he was sleeping, his face a calm and relaxed, no sign of the emotion he had experienced last night.

Almost as if he had felt you looking at him, he opened his eyes, giving you a soft smile, “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“I didn’t leave in the night this time.”

You laughed, “I can see that, but I’m definitely glad you didn’t.”

“So am I,” he sat up, “anyway, what should we do today?”

“Well I don’t have work today so I’m completely free to do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” He asked, his lips forming a smirk, eyebrows raised.

You playfully hit him, “Within reason you idiot - is your mind always in the gutter?”

“Yep, and it’s not my fault the effect you have on me.”

You rolled your eyes, getting out of bed, “Sure, well I’m gonna go and shower,” you put your hand up, stopping his comment before he could even say it, “without you, and whilst I’m gone you can decide what we’re doing today?”

He pouted, “I suppose, it’s not like I get to have fun.”

Smiling and shaking your head slightly, you leant down to kiss his cheek, “you can always have fun another time JJ.”

He was still watching you when you walked out of your room, his cheek warm from where you kissed him, as if he could feel the love through it.

—————

“Are we gonna invite the others?” You say to JJ, looking out at the ocean where you had planned to spend most of the day.

“Not today if that’s alright? I want you to myself for once and they don’t need to see my face like this.”

“Okay then,” you hugged him from the side, “just us.”

“I hope you’re ready to see that you’re not better than me at everything.” He said, walking towards the sea, board in hand.

You laughed, “You’re wrong but hey, I like the confidence - it’s kinda hot.”

“I’m always hot Y/N.”

“Come on,” you say, ignoring his last comment, “lets see if you’re all talk or not JJ.”

You and JJ spent the first half an hour trying to outcompete each other on every wave that came your way, you’d do a trick, then he’d do it and so on. Even with the competition between the two of you, you were having an incredible time, something about being around JJ made your heart feel lighter and he was always cracking jokes which had a big part in this - anytime your face fell slightly, even if there wasn’t something particularly wrong, he was there, saying something stupid to make you laugh. This attention alone made your heart swell, it showed he was paying attention to your facial expressions, showing he cared. You were doing the same for him but his face was yet to show any sign of the sadness you’d seen last night, maybe he’d already put his wall back up, but even so you planned to make sure he was truly happy today, something you’d want if it was you.

The two of you had paddled out behind where the waves were breaking, floating on your boards, talking about everything and anything.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” JJ said, “what’s with the dragonfly necklace? I’m yet to see you where anything else.”

You subconsciously reached up to hold the charm between your fingers, “My mum gave it to me when I was younger, there was this day where we out at a lake in the woods near us and a large dragonfly landed on my outstretched hand.” You smiled softly before continuing, “She took a picture of that moment and I earned the nickname dragonfly within my family - and since she died I’ve worn it everyday in memory of her.”

JJ smiled at you, “That’s really sweet, and at some point I think I’d like to hear more about your life before you moved here if you’re up for it?”

“Yeah I think I would be, it might take me a while though because I’m not one who shares things easily, but I think I could with you.”

“Alright then I look forward to it, and I’ll share stuff with you, and maybe we can both come out of it as better people.”

“Yes sounds good - get through the darkness together?”

He had paddled closer to you and held out his hand for you to hold, “Get through it together.”

You sat like that for a while, holding hands, floating on the water and enjoying each others company.

“Come on, let’s get a few more waves in, then we need to eat because I am starving.” He patted his stomach with his hands to emphasise his point.

“I was starting to think the same thing.”

You were about to head back to the beach when you saw a really promising wave begin forming behind you, so you paddled towards it, turning as it got closer so you could ride it.

You had been standing up on your board for a few seconds when you realised too late that you’d gotten too close to the rocks at the side of the beach, you tried to turn your board away from them but it was too late.

Your board clipped against one of the rocks, throwing you off your board and into the rocky water underneath.

As you fell you heard JJ shout your name, but it was of no use, you were already under the water, the waves turning you in the water - you felt the rocks scratch your arms and then this was followed by a horrible pounding in your head.

You must have backed out for a few seconds because the next thing you knew, JJ had his hands underneath your arms and was pulling you out of the water and onto his board

You coughed up some water, the hammering in your head too loud to even hear JJ say your name repeatedly.

Slowly the pain began calming down enough for you to take in your surroundings, you groaned.

“Shit Y/N, are you okay?” His voice laced with worry.

“Um yeah I think so, my head hurts and my arm…” you looked down at the arm you’d felt against the rocks, blood was all over it, one of the gashes was much deeper than the others, most of the blood seeping from it, “my arm also hurts.”

“Okay well let’s get back to the beach, then I can look at the injuries.”

“Where’s my board?” You had realised there was no weight on your ankle where it’s usually attached, JJ wouldn’t meet your eyes, “Where’s my board JJ?!”

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he pointed over to the rocks where you’d crashed, your board had broken with the force, “Shit, I don’t have enough saved for another one yet.”

“I’m sure it’ll work itself out, but right now we need to get to the beach Y/N.”

JJ got off his board, allowing you to lie down on his, and swam to shore, pulling you with him.

Once you were sat on the sand, JJ moved in front of you, moving your wet hair off your forehead, wincing when he saw the large cut there, “Um I think you should go to hospital.”

“No, I’m sure this is all stuff that can be bandaged at home.”

“Fucking hell, it’s not Y/N, I mean you can see your arm and your head is just as bad, please you could have a concussion or worse - let me take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t like hospitals JJ.” Avoiding his eyes, knowing you would agree with him if you looked into them.

“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go to one when you need it.”

“Ugh fine,” you reluctantly agreed, “but I don’t want my dad to know yet.”

“Okay, I’m taking that as a win,” you could tell he was more worried than he was letting on, still trying to make light of the situation, but with the pain you were feeling, you felt like there could be cause for worry.

He picked you up bridal style, one arm under your legs, the other around your back, careful not to hurt any part of you and carried you towards your car so he could drive to the hospital.

—————

Once you got there, JJ sat you down on one of the chairs in the waiting room before going up to the reception desk and trying to get some help.

You closed your eyes whilst you waited, hoping the lack of light will help the pounding in your head, but with them closed it didn’t take long for you to pass out, embracing the darkness where there was no pain.

There was beeping nearby, you opened your eyes to see you’d been put into a room and were lying on a bed - the beeping you’d heard was a monitor to the side of you. To the other side, JJ was sat gripping your hand with incredible strength, his head resting on a small gap on your bed.

“Hey,” your voice was croaky - how long had you been out?

His head whipped up, smiling “Hey, how you feeling?”

“Better I guess, what happened? How long have I been here?”

“Um you collapsed whilst I spoke to the person at the desk, which gave me a small heart attach by the way,” he couldn’t help but laugh at the ‘oops’ face you’d made, “and then they brought you into here to stitch up the big gash on your arm and forehead - I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for like an hour.”

“Wow best sleep I’ve ever had.” You joked.

He grinned at you and then squeezed your hand, “I’m really glad you’re okay, I don’t think I want to lose you yet.”

You squeezed his hand back, “You won’t - I’m too stubborn.”

He laughs, looking between your eyes and your lips, and as he leans forward, you let your eyes fall shut as his lips meet yours. The way he kisses you takes your breath away - it’s as if kissing you was all he ever wanted and the events in the past couple of days have pushed him over the edge.

You pulled back, smiling at each other, before he says “This is definitely the most eventful first date I’ve ever had.”

A/N: I almost took this to a much darker place but I’m in an alright mood today so I decided against it and hey I might save that for another fic/series

Taglist: @jellyfishbeansontoast @tangledinsparkles @k-k0129 @jjsbxtch @outerbankslove @obx-beach @emerald-xcd @danicarosaline @belledutchess @teamnick @justcallmesams @claryherondhaleparker @hurricane-abigail

strikethrough means I couldnt tag you :(

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #outerbanks fic #outer banks imagine #Outer Banks #obx #obx fic #pope heyward #john b routledge #kiara carrera #outrebanx #outrebanx dragonfly #rudy pankow

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captainscanadian · 5 years

Text

Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 6)

My Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: Bucky Barnes is ready to fix the mess that your parents had created, but he doesn’t want you to know about it.

Word Count: 7076

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Steve (Platonic), Doctor!Steve x Lawyer!Peggy

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Abuse & Alcoholism, Surgery, Organ Donation, IV & Needles, Emotional Distress, Physical Pain, Drugs, Hospital Stay, Homelessness, Mentions of Death & Cancer

A/N: Recently a lot of people have been asking me if Bucky can murder the reader’s parents. As much as I understand your strong hatred towards them, the answer is no. Sorry not worry. This one’s dedicated to Naynay for being the reason why I started posting all of my crappy writing on here. <3 Pic & gif are not mine, credits to the respective owners!

It was only a matter of time before Dr. James Barnes had been paged down to the Emergency Room for a consult. A patient had come in complaining of chest pain and shortness of breath. This eventually led him into the OR to repair the woman’s dissecting aorta, a surgery that typically lasted a few hours with no complications. It was a procedure that he had performed many times before. He need not fret over it, despite it being an emergency procedure than a pre-planned one like the one this morning. Perhaps, it was the unpredictable nature of heart surgery that had been so attractive to him. He could not deny that he liked the adrenaline rush that came with literally racing death itself and beating it fair and square.

By the time he had gotten out of surgery, it was way past lunchtime and Bucky was starving. After getting Shuri to inform the patient’s family about the patient’s current status, he found himself grabbing a salad from the hospital’s cafeteria and retreating to the doctors’ lounge for some rest before he was to get hit by the next cardiovascular crisis at hand. The unexpected circumstances that came with the job were perfect for a guy who had once wanted no commitments. But now to say that his attitude had changed would be quite the understatement. Nevertheless, Bucky sucked it up and went about his day like any other surgeon in the hospital.

While a part of him was feeling uneasy, thanks to the escalation of things that he had returned to, he knew that all he had to do was push through it all until his shift would finally be over. But he was unsure what to do next. He wondered if he should go back down to the post-op ward and see you. As much as he wanted to return to his place at your bedside, a part of him was hesitant. He was unsure about whether you would want him there, especially after what had happened with your mother coming to see you. He did not want to risk being shooed away by you.

After all, it made him wonder if you could not even trust your own mother, how you could be able to trust anyone else. All of a sudden, your hesitance to become close to anyone in the hospital made sense to him. After all, your mother had been the source of all of your trust issues. And as much as he was willing to accept that you might never ever trust him and let him into your life, he could not deny that it would hurt like a bitch either way. He was not ready to put himself through that, at least not yet.

“Steve, you’re still here.” Bucky noted upon seeing his best friend lying down on the sofa once he entered the lounge. “Your shift ended hours ago. Why haven’t gone home, you punk? You’re one of the only ones who actually have a life outside of the hospital. Why are you even here right now?”

Sleepily flipping through the channels of the television to find something decent to watch, Steve looked up to see his best friend and gave him a weak smile. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, Buck, not after what happened to Y/L/N. Being her emergency contact is a huge responsibility and I feel like I should stick around, you know, just in case... I don’t want any her to have any other complications.” He told him with a sigh and a shrug of his shoulders, sitting up to face his best friend who sat down in front of him.

“How is she?” He asked, biting down on his bottom lip as he picked at his salad for a moment.

“She’s... awake, talking. No further complications, no infections. She’s in a bit of pain but she’s a little hesitant about the amount of drugs she puts in her body. Nat redid the sutures herself and closed her up so they’re all... still in place. Wanda’s sitting at her bedside to make sure she doesn’t move at all, just to keep them still intact. Thor’s watching the door to make sure no one comes in or leaves without being noticed.” He explained. “She’ll be fine, Buck. She’s... recovering.”

Nodding as he bit down on his bottom lip once more, the dark haired doctor continued to pick at his salad. “You should go home, Steve. I’ll be here and... I’ll call you if anything happens. Just go home, get some sleep. You haven’t even seen Sarah in two days. At least, spend the night at home for her and come back in the morning.”

“No, Buck, it’s fine... I don’t mind sticking around the hospital for a few more hours. I’m way too sleepy. It’s definitely not safe for me to be driving home on my own and Peggy had a meeting at the firm this afternoon. She said she won’t be back until she’s picked Sarah up from daycare, so I’m just hanging out here, waiting for my girls.”

A soft chuckle escaped Bucky’s lips as he finally took a bite of his salad, leaning back in his seat and putting his feet up against the coffee table. “You’ve really got your shit figured out, Steve. Work-life balance, marriage and kids...” This was true. Compared to him, his best friend really did have his whole life figured out. The two of them had always been competitive despite being best friends since childhood. From the SATs to their undergraduate years to the MCATs to Columbia Medical School, even their surgical residencies thereafter, Bucky and Steve had always come in neck and neck at the top of their classes. But when it came to family life though, it seemed like Steve was already way ahead of Bucky.

“You know, you could have that too if you really wanted to.” Steve reminded him, a sigh escaping his lips as he fidgeted with the remote in his hand. “If you’re willing to commit and sacrifice being a complete workaholic to make time for a wife and kids, you could...” He was not an idiot. He knew that Bucky wanted the kind of life that he had with Peggy, even if he had denied it countless times before. He could not help but want that for his best friend too. After all, he knew that not only did Bucky want to settle down and have family, but that a part of him also wanted it all with you.

And knowing of your past, Steve wanted that for you too. He knew that you deserved to be unconditionally loved by someone, for you had not experienced unconditional love ever before. He wanted that for you because he understood how much Bucky loved you. If only things did work out in your favor and the two of you finally accepted your feelings for each other. Steve can only hope or sit back and watch, for he was certainly not a meddler of things.

The dark haired doctor let out a sigh before shaking his head, taking another bite of his salad and trying to ignore Steve’s words. “Yeah, well... that’s not what I want.” He lied, even though a part of him knew that the other could see right through his bullshit. “I mean, I do love her but... I don’t think she’d ever love me back, Steve. I know for a fact that she won’t ever accept me. So if it’s not her, then it won’t be anyone else.”

Before Steve could even say anything in response to that, the door burst open with a rather annoyed Peggy Carter entering the doctor’s lounge. “I got your text, darling, and I must admit that I’m not surprised at all.” She announced, plopping down on the sofa next to her husband. “Hello, Barnes.”

“Peggy.” He gave her a nod, continuing to pick at his salad before taking another bite.

“Where’s Sarah?”

“Her cousin Sharon wanted to get her some lunch. She had just woken up from a nap when I picked her up from daycare. Seemed a little cranky because she was hungry.” The woman replied with a shrug. “And I didn’t think she should be here when we’re talking about this, you know? Sharon said she’ll bring her back in an hour or so. Gives us enough time to talk, you know?”

Bucky grew confused at her words and raised his eyebrows at Steve. “Talking about what?”

Peggy turned around to look at Steve. “Have you told him yet, Steve? Because he sure does look too calm to know what happened.”

Steve let out a sigh as he rubbed his eyes. “I’m way too tired to deal with how he would react so I thought I’d wait until you were here. You’re better at breaking this kind of bad news than I am.” This was partially true. Being a doctor, a cardiothoracic surgeon at that, Dr. Rogers had certainly been trained on how to deliver bad news to his patients. Most of the time, such bad news included the unforeseeable factors: the patient’s condition receding beyond the surgeon’s control, surgical complications and even death.

But with what Steve was forced to deal with at that moment, though certainly not as bad as patient death, it was Peggy who was much more equipped to deal with such dilemmas. She was a Cambridge-educated attorney who happened to work at one of the most reputable law firms in New York. She was certainly used to dealing with extortion cases, not to mention that you had also approached her for legal advice on becoming an organ donor to your abusive father.

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky asked as he sat up on the sofa and set down his food, turning over to look at his best friend’s wife. “Peggy, what is it?”

Peggy let out a sigh as she sat back in her seat. “I’ll tell you but I want you to promise me that you won’t go off on a complete fit of rage or do anything absolutely stupid.”

He let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. “If this has something to do with Y/N, then I'm not making any promises I know I can't keep.” He told her before turning to Steve. “Did she tell you something? Did she... tell you what happened with her mother?”

Steve bit down on his bottom lip before leaning forwards in his seat. “Her mother... told her that her decision to come forward and donate her liver to her father lead to... them having hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills. And now she’s emotionally blackmailing Y/L/N to pay for them because they couldn’t afford the surgery.”

To say that Bucky was completely unsurprised by this revelation would be an understatement. After all, this had exactly been his suspicion ever since he had found out about your parents coming down to Brooklyn Hospital in the first place. They had not come searching for better medical treatment from Dr. Romanoff. They had come in search of a way to extort money from you. But finding out that your mother’s attempt at extortion was the reason behind you bleeding out like that only made the man feel angrier at your parents. But he did not show it. “I mean, I saw that coming.” He said with a shrug, returning to his salad.

His calm and composed reaction made Steve and Peggy turn to look at each other for a moment.

“What?” Steve asked, blankly.

“I got suspicious.” Bucky replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “When Y/N told me that her formerly abusive slash estranged father was admitted here, I was... a little surprised. I knew she was from this small town near Philadelphia so, how in the world did they manage to get all the way to Brooklyn, let alone at the hospital where their daughter worked? I mean, it all did seem like a coincidence but... I didn’t think that there was any way that they did not know... that their daughter worked there. I... had no reason to trust her parents, right? And I was... right. I mean, they tracked her down... they came here... and I don’t think a liver transplant was what they came looking for. I think they came here to tie Y/N down... emotionally... and try to get money from her to pay for the outstanding medical bills that they have in Philly. But their plan didn’t work. Y/N volunteered to get tested because she... has a heart. She cared about doing the right thing and being the better person. She cares... about... everyone but herself, even her abusive parents. When Y/N volunteered to get tested, do you remember what happened, Steve? Her mother wouldn’t even accept it at first, because she knew that the surgery would mean more medical bills and they weren’t financially stable. She’d just lost her job and they don’t have insurance. Y/N had to get Romanoff to explain how long they would have to wait until UNOS found him a match just so that she would agree. This has been their motive all along... to get money from her. Because they... went bankrupt when Y/N was a little kid and the mom had to work as a maid to keep things going, dad drank away all of their money and now that mom doesn’t have a job anymore, hey... look, the child we abused who ran away from us is working as a doctor in New York and making six figures so why don’t we just go over there and do what we always did best... emotionally abuse her and get her to pay us a large amount?” He could not help but roll his eyes, huffing as he leaned back in his seat. “Fucking pieces of shit, they are...”

Peggy Carter’s eyes grew so wide at Bucky’s speech that Steve almost feared that they might have popped right out of her skull. “Holy shit, Barnes.” She covered her mouth as her jaw dropped. As a mother to a little girl herself, she could not understand how anyone could put their own child in such a situation. To say that she was disgusted by your parents would be an understatement. She was beyond glad that you had managed to break free from their abuse when you did, but the fact that they were still very a part of your life at that moment pissed her off. She needed to find a solution to all of this and make sure that they never bothered you again.

“How do you know all of this?” Steve asked. “How do you know about them going bankrupt when she was a kid and that she ran away from their abuse?” After all, he was well aware that you had not disclosed these events of your past to anyone but him and his wife. He knew of your circumstances with your parents, because he was your emergency contact. You had told Peggy in case there was a legal dilemma to your decision. You wanted to ensure that the fact that you had reported their abuse all those years ago did not get in the way of you donating your liver now. But how did Bucky know all of this? Steve had no idea.

“Yeah, the whole ‘outstanding medical bills in Philly’ thing is news to the both of us.” She agreed, looking at her husband before turning over to his best friend. “I don’t think she intended to tell anyone about this, not even to Steve and I. And... as much as I would like to believe that she trusted you enough to tell you any of this, I think she would have at least told us that you were also aware of her past. But we know Y/N and she wouldn’t have just told you any of this that easily. So, let’s just cut to the chase... What did you do, Bucky?”

The blonde haired doctor’s eyes grew wide as he realized the change of tone in his wife’s voice, for he knew that this was the tone she often used in court. “Bucky... please don’t tell me that you...” A part of him did know what his friend might have done, but he still refused to believe it until he admitted it himself.

“I got Becca to look into her parents.” He confessed.

“Bucky!”

“Are you insane?!” The hospital’s in-house attorney exclaimed, her British accent rolling off of her tongue with such ease and poise despite the fact that she was fuming at the man’s actions. “You fucking hired a PI to look into a patient?! Do you even realize how many potential lawsuits could possibly come out of that?”

“You violated Y/N’s privacy, Buck!” Dr. Rogers added, shaking his head in a slight disappointment. “How do think she’d feel if she ever found out what you’ve done? She’s already got a lot of trust issues and you’re not making this any easier for yourself!”

“I mean, I had to do what I had to do!” The dark haired doctor defended himself. “I get it, Steve. I violated her privacy by hiring Becca to look into her parents and her abusive childhood with them. Sure, she might hate me for it. I don’t care. I only did it because I care about her, Steve. I knew that something wasn’t right when her parents showed up at the hospital. As much as I wasn’t okay with her donating her liver, I respected her decision and her bodily autonomy. She had the right to do whatever the fuck she wanted and I had no say in that whatsoever. But that did not stop me from being suspicious about her parents. I mean, I couldn’t ask her because she wouldn’t tell me. I knew that you knew a lot more about her past than any of us, Steve. Of course, she tells you everything. But is she going to tell me if I asked? Not even a chance. And are you going to tell me if I asked you what was up with her and her parents? Also no, because you’re the most righteous human being on this entire fucking planet who cares about honor and all that bullshit and you trained your God damn fellow to be just as honorable and righteous and follow in your footsteps... which has now cost her a piece of her liver and a whole lot of blood.” Bucky paused to take a breath before turning over to Peggy. “And of course, you knew everything too, Peggy. Y/N told me that she came to you for legal advice, just in case. But I also knew not to ask you either, because you would have given me a whole lecture about attorney-client privilege and I saved us all a hell of lot of time by just going ahead and hiring Becca to do the work for me.”

Steve let out a sigh as he stood up from his seat. “I need a cup of coffee.” He announced as he walked over to the kitchenette and started to make himself a cup.

“Can you also make me a cup of tea, please darling?” Peggy asked Steve as she rubbed her temples, her eyes not leaving Bucky’s. “You’re insane, Barnes. You’re absolutely insane and you know that. And to even call you the godfather of my child, good lord, what have we done? You’ll be such a terrible influence on her when she’s older, I’m sure of it.”

Dr. Barnes finished the last of his salad and nodded, chuckling softly at her remark. “I know, Peggy. They say that love makes you crazy... and I’ve been doing some pretty crazy things lately. I won’t even deny it.” This was true. After all, Bucky had been doing more than just sit at your bedside while you were asleep. A week after he had found out about your make shift clinic at the homeless shelter, he had made an anonymous donation of a million dollars to the shelter in hopes that a part of it would be able to fund your cause. And for the next two years, he would go on to do much crazier things when it came to you.

Whether it was buying an extra cup of coffee every morning and bringing it over to you just to see you give him a sleepy smile in gratitude, or waiting for you to get out of surgery every other night and lying about a late night craving for Indian food just so that he could give you a ride home, there were certain things that he had started to do that would make anyone think he was crazy. But to him, it was all a part of him trying to become a better person, because you had made him want to be a better person.

Even last year, he had startled the entire surgical department meeting by suggesting a fundraising gala to help raise money to increase the number of pro bono surgeries that were being performed at the hospital. Chief Stark had been surprised that Dr. Barnes had been the one to even make that suggestion; his bet would have been on Rogers. But without much debate, the gala had been approved by the hospital’s board of directors. Tony had put Bucky in charge of throwing the ball itself, which the man had surprisingly managed to pull off.

James Barnes had made yet another generous donation to his own cause this time, while also convincing his three sisters in helping him organize the event so that others could also take part in the act of giving back. He had approached his retired parents in hopes that their contacts could help him find more sponsors. And thanks to you, he had hired the lovely Indian couple who owned the restaurant you had been living above to cater the event. The rest of the event had been paid by him, with some of the doctors also pitching in.

It had been a rare occurrence for Dr. James Barnes to take part is such formal events, so there was no denying that his attempts at organizing one and showing up at that was quite refreshing to see. He had donned a designer tuxedo, his luscious long hair coiffed into a neat bun. He looked prim and proper, to say the least.

But if one had observed him rather closely that night, they would have noticed that his bright blue eyes were constantly darting towards the entrance throughout the whole event. Even when he had taken to the stage to make a speech and had commanded the attention of an entire banquet hall, no one had noticed how his gaze was constantly wandering towards the double doors that led his guests inside. Perhaps no one except Wanda Maximoff was able to figure out that this entire event had been Bucky Barnes’ attempt at channelling his inner Jay Gatsby.

The bottles of champagne had been popped, poured into flutes and emptied long before, dinner and dessert served promptly thereafter. It was not until after the DJ had opened up the dance floor did James finally receive the long-awaited arrival of the woman he loved. And in an instant, his lips curled into a smile at the sight of you in your silver-grey evening gown. He knew that the shimmer and sequins were very unlike you, but he appreciated the effort you had taken to follow the dress code.

As you noticed the host of the evening upon your entrance and made your way towards the dance floor to greet him, you could not help but notice that he cleaned up quite well, in his tuxedo and his hair in a bun. Oh how attractive he looked in that bun, you could not deny it. You rarely saw him put his hair up, except for that one time when he had showed up to a consult with his hair tied up with a Hello Kitty hair-tie a while back.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought of how handsome he looked that evening and you quickly shooed away your thoughts, walking up to him with a bright smile. “James, hey... I’m so sorry I’m late. I didn’t mean to miss the dinner and half of the party. I had a last minute consult at the ER and I had to do an Endarterectomy. It took longer than expected and by the time I got home, showered and got ready... it took me a while. I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” His smile was genuine and one that brought you a sense of calm. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it, things like that are not always in our hands. I wasn’t even sure if you’d show up, to be honest. I know that... social events like these are not really your thing. At least I’m glad you decided to spend the rest of your evening here instead of being cooped up in your little clinic. It means a lot, doll, really... thank you for being here.” He bit down on his bottom lip rather nervously as he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. It was an act of politeness to say the least, a sign of gratitude that you had even bothered to show up late than never, even though you did have an excuse to not be there.

You felt your cheeks heat up once more, a sense of warmth in your heart as you felt his lips against your cheek. There was something gentle about the way his warm breath lingered against your skin, but you quickly looked down to hide the blush. You could not help but grin widely at his understanding nature and you looked around the ball room.

It seemed as though a majority of the guests had already left. The DJ had been playing a slow song and naturally, Steve and Peggy were at the center of the dance floor. You must have heard a thousand times during your bi-weekly dinners with the Rogers’ of the story of their first date and their first dance. Even after years of being married, the two of them still looked so in love. You could not help but want that for yourself. But you felt slightly greedy for it. After all, you had always believed that you did not deserve to be loved by anyone.

The blonde haired doctor noticed your gaze on him and gave you a wave, his wife still leant against his shoulder as they swayed along to the song. You chuckled, shooting him a quick thumbs up before turning to James. “Looks like you’ve really pulled this off, Dr. Barnes.” You noted, seeing that the gala had been quite the success. “I must say that I’m impressed.”

“I couldn’t have done it without your help though, doll, thanks to you and your undying loyalty to the Singh’s.” He politely remarked. “The food’s a big hit- hey; have you even had a chance to eat anything since you got out of your surgery?” It had taken Bucky a moment to realize that it was way past dinner time and knowing you and the way you had rushed to get here after your surgery, you might not have eaten.

“Um... no.” You shook your head.

“Come on, let’s get you in the kitchen and grab you some of that delicious food.” It had been a rather impulsive move on his part, when he had just casually grabbed your hand and lead you away from the dance floor.

You had been caught off guard by his actions but you paid no heed to them anyways. You had assumed that it was just his way of being a host, making sure that all of his guests were well fed and taken care of. After all, you had paid for your ticket to attend this gala and he probably just wanted to give you your money’s worth. You would not have imagined that his actions were a sign of his undying love for you.

He walked out of the ball room before turning down the hallway to where the kitchen was, complimenting and thanking a few of the wait staff along the way before entering the kitchen.

You stood at the door, watching as he made his way over to the head chef who was also your landlord. He really was a wonder of a man, you thought. How thoughtful and kind had he really been, for as long as you’ve known him? To think that the two of you had managed to not get along in the OR at some point seemed to surprise you. But that fall out had only made the two of you become the closer. There was no denying that.

After asking the woman to fix you a plate of food, he walked back to you with a cheeky grin on his face. “I told them to set aside your plate in case you showed up. They’ll just reheat it in a moment.”

You could not help but let out a chuckle at that, raising an eyebrow nevertheless. “How did you know that I would even show up though, James?” You asked, curiously. “After all, I do have a tendency to make plans at first and bail on people.”

“I just had a little faith that you would be here... considering that it’s for a good cause and you’re not the kind of person who turns away from doing something to give back.” He replied, grinning widely as he realized that he really did know you well. “Plus, you did pay for the food, the champagne and a little dancing. As a responsible host, I wanted to make sure you did get your money’s worth.”

You rolled your eyes playfully as you walked past him to enter the kitchen, greeting the lovely Indian chef with a hug before taking the plate from her. “Well... since I’ve got my food here now, where’s my champagne?”

As the banquet was wrapping up, Bucky had excused himself to check on the clean up. The red carpet had been rolled up, the table linens piled up and the chairs stacked neatly on top of one another. The DJ had taken down the speakers and loaded up his equipment in his van, the cleaning staff was busy sweeping the confetti off the hard wooden floor.

You found yourself wafting down your plate of food in the kitchen while the staff got busy with doing the dishes. Chatting away with the lovely Indian woman who continued to pile up the remainder of the food onto your plate, you managed to eat until you were full. You did not realize how hungry you had been until you had eaten second and third helpings of the Singh’s signature biryani, but you were grateful to the woman for wanting to feed you well. After all, this was the closest experience you had to a mother’s love.

James had not returned until an hour later, having sent off the last of his guests home before dealing with the payments for the DJ and the linen rentals. He let Rebecca take care of the rest before excusing himself for the night, grabbing the last remaining bottle of champagne from the fridge before making his way over to you. “Sorry that took a while, doll.” He told you as he chuckled, holding up the bottle. “But I got what you asked for...” He could not help but notice the aluminum tray of food that you were holding and he raised his eyebrow at you.

“What? I had three plates of food but there was still some left over. There was no way I was going to let some good biryani go into the trash. Plus, I figured that you wouldn’t have had a chance to eat anything either, being a good host and all. So, what do you say, we get out of here and find ourselves a really nice late night view of the bridge and... have a little picnic?” You wiggled your eyebrows at him before letting out a laugh.

“I... think I’d like that.”

Bucky was taken by surprise that you had even made this suggestion, but it was not very unlikely of you to be concerned about wasting food or watching someone else go hungry either. Having left the venue of the banquet together, the two of you somehow managed to end up on the roof of your loft home somehow. You had been the one to suggest it though, for you wanted him to see the view from up there.

It was a mid-August night, the air was breezy. You kicked off your heels and sat down on the concrete step as you looked up at the stars. The night was quiet, even though there was the occasional laughter of passerby’s walking past the restaurant that stirred up the silence every now and then.

He had taken off his coat and wrapped it over your shoulder, in case you got cold, a plastic fork in his hand that was picking through the aluminum tray as he ate the food that you had packed up for him. “Did I tell you how lovely you look in that dress, Y/N?”

“Did I tell you how much I like your hair like that, James?” You asked, teasingly. “I have to admit, you clean up real nice.”

“You too.” He chuckled as he took a bite of his food, looking around the neighborhood that he had been so familiar with when he had been younger, but now he felt like a stranger. After Steve had moved in with him, he rarely came down to this part of town. While it was home to his best friend, to him it had been an insignificant part of Brooklyn, at least until you had moved here. Nowadays, it seemed that he came by this neighborhood every few days whenever he’d offered you a ride home and to see that these trips only made him miss his former nanny would be an understatement.

He missed her dearly, for the woman had raised him as her own. He knew that it was people like her who needed the care and concern of people like him. It was why he had thrown this gala in the first place, not even Steve knew about how close this was for Bucky.

Perhaps if Sarah Rogers had the money to afford the best care in Brooklyn, her doctors would not have managed to misdiagnose her with pneumonia. Her cancer could have been caught sooner and she might be alive. These pro bono surgeries were just a way for him to prevent such tragic deaths that could have been easily avoided.

You popped the bottle of champagne, laughing heartily at the fizz that spilled slightly on your gown. But you could care less about it. “You first.” You told him as you held the bottle towards him.

Taking the bottle from you and taking a swing, he turned over to look at you with a smile. “Why do you still live here, Y/N?” He asked you, curiously. “You’re not a fellow anymore. You’re a board certified cardiothoracic surgeon and a good one at that. I’m sure you can afford a nicer apartment with the amount you get paid.”

“I mean, I could... but I don’t really want to leave my little loft.” You replied, shrugging as you took the bottle from him and took a sip. “It’s been my first real home in forever, James. It’s the first place that I moved into... that wasn’t a campus dorm or a sorority house. It wasn’t supposed to be some kind of temporary accommodation.” Like a foster home. “I mean, I could find myself a bigger apartment but... it’s just me. I don’t take up that much space. I don’t like taking up too much space. I’m fine living here. It’s nice and cozy. It’s home.”

“But aren’t you worried about the safety hazards, Y/N? You live above a restaurant, the stairs are too narrow. In case of an emergency, you won’t be able to get out quickly.” He noted.

You let out a sigh as you handed him the bottle. “You know, after spending a cold winter night in the street... any other place can feel the safest.” You admitted, biting down on your bottom lip. “Plus, I work so much that I’m barely home anyways. It’s fine, James. I’m fine here.”

“Alright... if that’s what you say so.” He nodded, giving in since he knew that he could not change your mind that easily, taking a sip of the champagne before setting it down for a moment. He set down his tray and stood up from his seat on the step. “Anyways, I think the roof has enough space for just the two of us.” He remarked as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “And I think I owe you a little dance. So if you wouldn’t mind, Dr. Y/N/N... shall we?””

You could not help but roll your eyes at that. “I believe you do.” You remarked as you stood up, brushing off the back of your dress before slipping back into your heels.

Bucky put on a song before setting down his phone, holding out his hand with a bow of his head. “M’Lady.”

You giggled softly as you tried your best at a curtsey, only to trip over your gown and grab onto the man’s hand as you laughed.

He let out a hearty laugh as he helped you regain your balance, his arm wrapped around your waist as he began to slowly sway along to the music.

You blushed slightly as you held onto him, your ear pressed gently against his chest, the sound of his beating heart bringing you a sense of solace as the song began.

You look so wonderful in your dress I love your hair like that The way it falls on the side of your neck Down your shoulders and back We are surrounded by all of these lies And people who talk too much You got the kind of look in your eyes As if no one knows anything but us Should this be the last thing I see I want you to know it's enough for me 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need I'm so in love, so in love So in love, so in love You look so beautiful in this light Your silhouette over me The way it brings out the blue in your eyes Is the Tenerife Sea And all of the voices surrounding us here They just fade out when you take a breath Just say the word and I will disappear Into the wilderness Should this be the last thing I see I want you to know it's enough for me 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need I'm so in love, so in love So in love, so in love

“Well, the fact that you deliberately admitted that only makes me wonder what kind of crazy thing you’re about to do next, Barnes.” Peggy noted as she took her steaming cup of tea from her husband. “Because I know that look on your face. You’re planning something, aren’t you?”

Bucky let out a chuckle as he stood up from his seat, tossing away the container that had held his salad in the trash can before walking over to his locker. “I’m not planning anything, Peggy. I’m just... coming up with a solution to Y/N’s dilemma.” He told her with a shrug as he retrived his lab coat and put it on over his scrubs.

“Also known as planning.” Steve clarified as he sat down next to his wife and took a sip of his coffee. “Spill it, you punk. What are you going to do?”

“Well, right now... I’m going to go down to the pediatrics ward because Clint asked me to cover his shift for the afternoon.” Rolling his eyes, Dr. Barnes grabbed his stethoscope that hung on the hook in his locker. He turned around to look at Peggy for a moment. “Peggy, out of curiosity, how long will it take for you to draft a contract?”

The lawyer gave him a confused look. “It really depends on what the terms on this contract will be?”

“How about something along the lines of... ‘by accepting these two million dollars and an additional allowance of three grand’s per month... we, the Y/L/N’s agree that we will leave our estranged daughter alone for the rest of her life, we’ll never try to contact her and we won’t try to extort any more money from her,’ or something like that?” He asked her, smirking as he tossed his stethoscope over his neck and crossed his arms against his chest.

“Bucky, no.”

“I pay off her dad’s medical bills and give them a little extra so that they don’t come crawling back to her ever again.” Bucky stated with a shrug. “Steve, you and I both know what Y/N does with her hard-earned money. This clinic is... her everything. If she pays them off, she won’t be able to keep it going. I don’t think I can let that be taken away from her.”

Steve let out a sigh as he pondered Bucky’s suggestion for a moment. “As much as I agree with you, Buck, this isn’t your call to make. It’s hers. And even if she did find out about you wanting to do this, you know she won’t let you. Hell, she wouldn’t even let me pay them off when I offered to do it this morning.”

“She... doesn’t need to know, Steve. That’s why I’m telling the two of you. Peggy drafts a contract; I write a cheque, the Y/L/N’s sign the contract and take the money that they came for. Y/N will be happy once they are out of her life for good and that’s all that fucking matters.”

“But... Bucky, what even is the point of you doing all of this if Y/L/N doesn’t even find out about it?”

#aj writes #better #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #doctor!bucky #buck barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic

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phantasmalduelist · 4 years

Photo

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY 🌟

Continuation and the final part of the playlist Awakened in Starlight I did ages ago!! I hope you enjoy!! Under the read more is the story. Please do read!!

Thank you for reading and listening, if you do.

ACT I: I could never sacrifice you

1. Sacrifice by Sharon Lyons

A tiny little sacrifice. Her mother would always say, for worlds to turn, some things would be lost among the space between galaxies.

Ouri was young back then, a much tinier dragon, much more impressionable. Now one sacrifice felt like touching a pulsating black hole.

The silver tree bloomed above Ouri. She dug her hands in the golden sand of the cosmos. By her feet the lifeless body of Najwa lied.

“Weaver of Worlds, you must let go.” The leaves echoed through the white room. “Fate beckons you, Scion. It is time.”

Golden magic blossomed on her fingertips and she felt a pang of frightening pain. “I’m sorry, mother. I’m sorry, Silver Tree. I’m sorry, Najwa.”

The room was a golden field, and death became life.

2. Across the Universe of Time by Hayley Westenra

“And the cold, cold wind, it blows me away The feeling all over is a black black day But I know that I’ll see you again And I know that you’re near me”

***

ACT II: I could never forget you

3. Light in Between by Abby Gundersen

Najwa tried to forget. She really did. Tried to leave everything behind. To be forgotten amongst the cliffs of Desert Highlands.

Shame, sadness, anger; they danced underneath her skin every day. Her dreams were plagued with meadows blooming in the sunlight. Songs of ancient times.

Najwa wondered if other Awakened actually dreamed. Or if she had just ended up in a bizarre predicament. One that would forever be a mystery. Unless…

Unless she found Ouri.

Najwa gritted her teeth and patted Toffee’s back to try and distract herself. The summit wildhorn bleated and rested her head above Najwa’s. “Yeah, I know gal.”

4. God Only Knows by RAIGN

“I may not always love you But long as there are stars above you If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on Believe me”

***

ACT III: And so they dance between knives and lies

5. You Have to Let Go by Adam Fielding

“How could you!?” Najwa shouted. Her hands grabbing at Ouri’s Mordant Crescent outfit. A reminder so grim. A reminder so ugly.

“Najwa, I’m not who you think I am.” Ouri was visibly shaking. Forming words had become hard for her.

“Oh you think I don’t know? The display is sickening.” Najwa pushed Ouri against the wall with such force the nearby shelves shook. Ouri simply stood still, her eyes full of guilt.

“No, it’s not that.” She tried to relax her shoulders, but ultimately failed. Ouri knew bringing this up right now would be either an incredibly stupid idea, or completely destroy their chance of ever reconnecting. “I’m just… following a list of things to do.”

“This can’t be serious.” Najwa’s eyes were pure rage. “Was “Awakening” me part of the list!?“

“No… He didn’t do anything to you. I-” She swallowed hard. “I did.”

It took only a second for her eyes to lose the deep hazel color. Replaced by golden shades and cosmic hues. Ouri was the night sky. The far seeing cosmos. Written all over her skin.

Najwa stepped back in a daze. Her mind was a volcano erupting in the middle of the ocean. “What is going on.” Najwa stepped back as further as she could clinging to her scythe. If she still had a beating heart she knew it would have plummeted out of her chest by now.

“Spearmarshal. Najwa.” Ouri paused. And the universe watched them from the corners of the tapestry of time. “The list is what your people call a prophecy.”

The sudden realization hit Najwa like a crashing wave. All those cryptic dreams. All those shades of gold dancing at he back of her mind. The prairies of starlight. All of it. “Am I bound to you!? You did this to me!?”

“N-no! No! I cut the connection. Your will is your own.” Ouri quickly interjected. Panic was taking over her.

“How dare you!?” Najwa’s grab on her scythe was painfully tight. Tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

“If it were not me. It would have been Palawa Joko! I didn’t want that!” Ouri pleaded. Pleaded to be understood between fate and choice. Between golden threads and shadows.

“You…” Najwa’s anger was like a bursting sun. Extinguishing a galaxy before it was even formed. “You are a monster. I regret the day I crossed paths with you.”

A sacrifice. A hole in the tapestry of time.

“I know.”

The birds did not sing that morning.

6. I Cannot Raise the Dead by The Dark Element

“In a time before us We were both someone else And we can be again We both let wrong one in To keep the right one out And now we’re both without”

***

ACT IV: Until tomorrow begins again

7. Heart Lying Still by Nightwish

The Domain of Kourna was even more dreadful than Najwa remembered; she ended up finding an empty building to sit on while the Sunspears were organizing the attack on Gandara.

She kept pulling at her attire. It felt strange to use the Sunspears’ dervish insignia again. But here she was, ready to help destroy the cause of all the pain in her home.

“Mother?” A voice came from the door.

“Yes, Khalida?” she responded lamely.

“Jeez, I thought you’d be happier. Is not seeing your daughter for the first time in eight years a good thing?” Khalida teased her, raising her eyebrow playfully.

“I- No. I’m sorry, hunbun.” Najwa panicked and tried to get up.

“Hey. I’m just teasing. I know all our wounds are still pretty fresh.” Khalida placed her hand over her mother’s shoulder, signalling her to sit back down.

“Yeah…” Najwa said.

Khalida sat next to her and hugged her knees. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Ha. I should be the one asking you that.” Najwa leaned her back against the wall. Her whole body was tense.

“C'mon, Mom. We might all just die in a few hours.” She elbowed her mother and grinned.

“Gods. When did you become so…” Najwa tried to find words to fill the gap of so many years lost. But nothing came up. She knew it would always be something hard to manage. “Never mind. I came to a conclusion. And I don’t like it.”

“Uhhhhh? Yeah? So early in the morning?” Khalida quipped.

She snorted at the comment. “You know, Ouri.”

“I do know her.”

“I might have said some really. Really. Upsetting things to her.” She shuddered remembering the last time they had talked. It was a chilling sonnet in the back of Najwa’s mind. “I was hurting. I still think she had no right to bring me back to life. But…”

“You see her point now?” Khalida said.

“Yeah… Being bound to Joko would have destroyed every fiber of my morals. I am still here. I am still mostly myself.” She looked at her hands and felt a spark of warmth. “I got to see you again.”

“Then you should tell her that,” Khalida simply offered.

“I think I should just let it go-”

“You did that for eight years.”

“And here I thought I was the mother.” She frowned and crossed her arms.

“Things change. I am a Spearmarshal now.” Khalida smiled.

8.To the Moon and Back by Moonlight Haze

“I still love you so bad To the moon and back and I Yes I miss you daily to the moon and back I’d go anywhere now To the moon and back for you Hope my voice will reach you To the moon and back Time cannot heal scars that lie so deep Inside this void of mine”

***

ACT V: I will cling to the heart between dawn and dusk

9. Between the Lines by Felix Räuber

Ouri and Najwa both stood across each other. The fortress sounded eerily silent after Aurene and the Commander had stopped Joko. Only the faint cheers in the distance, from both the dead and the living, could be heard.

Najwa took a deep breath and touched the grotesquely adorned walls. “This could have been my fate.”

Ouri eyes followed the other woman’s form. She bowed her head slightly, avoiding her gaze.

“I don’t know how I feel about everything that happened,” Najwa continued. “I even find it hard to believe that I am here.”

The former Spearmarshal dragged her feet through the tar. The oozing pools reflected her face in such a distorted manner. “Gross. I wouldn’t want to have this inside of me.” Najwa grimaced.

Ouri bit her lip, trying not to chuckle at the comment.

“Are you just gonna let me monologue?” Najwa pouted. “I remember you being a chatter box.”

“You said you wanted to talk…”

“Always a little too literal, are we?” Najwa walked over to Ouri. “It’s just. I… I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Fix what?” Ouri blinked. Her eyes were gold and shining. They contrasted the beautiful dark blues of her skin.

Much better outfit, Najwa caught herself staring at her curves. The essence of the stars painting her body was mesmerizing. Ouri titled her head at the slight pause.

Najwa coughed and tried to re-focus. “Us.”

Tentatively she reached out for Ouri’s hands. They were glowing in a flame-like effect. Najwa could swear they felt like what one would describe as the heart of the universe. Warm, cold, terrifying, and enticing all at the same time.

“The reason. The reason it hurt so much to know what you did. The reason it felt less of a burden if I was just another Awakened is…” She pushed back her tears. And squeezed the other woman’s hands. “Is because. I.”

“I love you.” Ouri cut her off.

Najwa didn’t need to ask. Najwa didn’t need to understand. Ouri was a Celestial. A Scion of a grand river of the cosmos. A life bearer. How could a life bearer leave someone to die. Someone she loved.

Yet disbelief still colored her blushing face.

“You. You love me?”

Ouri nodded.

Najwa should have known that from the first day they met. Ouri had always been a spark. The fountain of the gentle sun. Najwa connected their lips in a rush of emotion. Soft and willing. Somewhat rough and passionate, too. Full of regrets, mistakes, and guilt. Full of joy, love, and forgiveness.

“I love you, too. Gods, I do.”

Dusk and dawn danced together for the first time in a millennia.

10. Forever by Frozen Crown

“Find in light the essence of the night Say forever Forever Till the stars shine on our hearts Tides won’t last Our time is dying fast But this moment, our moment It will shine bright on our hearts”

***

ACT VI: Spearmarshal and Scion

11. Celestial Dreams by Rachel Currea

“So do I get an honorary Celestial membership?” Najwa’s hair sparkled against the wind. The grey tips had become glowing and golden much like her eyes.

“Well… if you want one.” Ouri laughed.

“Yes, I do.” She grinned widely. “Don’t tell the other Awakened, but this is so much cooler.”

12. Night Will Fade by Beyond the Black

“Somewhere beyond this world Far beyond this life Fate will raise our souls out of the past Somewhere beyond this day Night will fade away Will you follow my final words For tomorrow beyond this world”

13. Into a Dawn by Feridea

“I never let go, of my hopes and dreams I never was afraid, the road is free To find a star, to guide me through this twilight fall Into a dawn”

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #Apostle Najwa #Awakened (♢)#Human (♢)#human #awakened #the Astral Ouri #Dragon (♢)#scion #dragon #humanoid form #Khalida Mukantagara #playlist #my writing #stories

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weartirondad · 4 years

Text

Chaos, Yet Harmony

Summary: 3 times Peter made Tony watch Star Wars and the 1 time it was Tony's idea.Or: Peter Parker is unapologetically a geek and Tony quickly realizes that there's nothing he wouldn't do for him.

A/N: this is part of the @irondadsecretsanta and is my gift for @aslanscompass. It was a ton of fun & I wish you all a wonderful Christmas <3

Check out all the other AMAZING fics HERE !

FF.net I ao3

Tony was wary when he answered the call at 10 past eleven at night.

He had learned early on that late night calls from teenage vigilantes were never a good sign and that, really, a call at any time from a teenager was a rarity and should always raise a red flag. So, yeah, he was wary but he felt like he was entitled to.

Next to him his fiancée was curled around the dark green plush blanket like a cat and regarded him, staring at the lit up screen of his phone, in amusement. “Don’t yell too much.”

He rolled his eyes and accepted the call, “No promises.”

“Mr. Stark?” came the breathless voice of none other than Peter Parker through the speakers and already he could feel his blood pressure rise and tried to breathe out deliberately slowly.

Calm, Stark, you’re calm.

“The one and only,” he answered and was almost proud of how calm and collected he sounded. Oh how deceiving voices could be.

“Oh!” The kid sounded actually surprised and paused for a second in which Tony could only hear the telling thwip thwip thwip of hectic webbing.

Not the best sign but he was calm. So very calm.

He was also already on the way to the nearest window, two steps from calling a suit. Pepper behind him was now openly laughing but he didn’t look back because –

“Great! I might need a little help here. Something.” Thwip. “Something came up.” Thwip. “Sorta.”

“Sorta?” Calm.

“I mean.” Thwip. “It definitely came up. Yup.” Thwip. “Definitely. How far are you from Queens?” Thwip.

“Three minutes,” he sighed, giving up on the act of sounding completely aloof, half waving to Pepper before turning around, stepping into his suit and jumping out of the window. There went the nice, cozy night he had planned.

“Kid? You still there?”

There was a long moment of no rambling and no thwiping and it was unsettling. If Tony knew that getting late night calls was a bad sign, he was sure as heck that random pauses in late night calls where close to the calling of the apocalypse.

“Huh? Yeah. Just, uh.” Thwip. “Try’na avoid getting hit.”

Jesus.

If anyone was going to test his body’s ability to handle stress it wasn’t his own superhero gig or some spandex wearing traitor, it was a goody-two-shoes kid dressed up as a spider.

“Okay, great. You keep doing that and tell me what’s going on.”

Just keep talking, kid, tell me you’re alive.

Peter started talking and while he sounded a little too excited for his taste he let the familiar sound calm him down. As long as Peter was talking, Tony could convince himself that he didn’t have to panic just yet.

He could already see Spider-Man flipping towards another building when a message from Pepper blinked up on his HUD.

Get home safe. Both of you. I’m heading to bed. Love you.

“That was wild, Mr. Stark! Like, super wild. Super mega wild. Super-duper mega –“

“Wild?” Tony suggested in mock seriousness, setting down on the landing pad and watched Spider-Man land gracefully behind him. The second the kid had solid ground under his feet he ripped off his mask and took in a big gulp of air. His hair was mussed, cheeks red and his usually light brown eyes dark, pupils dilated so much not much of the iris was left to be seen.

Typical signs of an active sympathetic nervous system, his mind supplied unsolicited.

“Steady,” he ordered roughly when a bony shoulder bumped into his arm but there was no real force behind it when he reached out to wrap an arm around him to do the steadying himself. As soon as he had him under control he led them to the kitchen to get one of the nutrition bars he had started keeping in stock for Peter’s mutant metabolism.

“S’rry.” The kid grinned up at him sheepishly, rubbing at the mess of curls on his forehead in a poor attempt to tame them. “What’re we gonna do now?”

He raised an eyebrow in silent amusement. “It’s midnight, buddy. You should probably get to bed sometime soon if you wanna make first period.”

“But –“ Peter looked disoriented for a moment, eyes flying back and forth between the clock and Tony felt for him when his searching gaze fell on him. He looked so hopeful, as if he was lost and Tony his compass and he was so certain that he would lead him back home. The genuine trust in his eyes pierced through him and immediately he felt lacking. Thank goodness that deflection was his second nature.

Shoving two granola bars into Peter’s hand, he took a step back to give himself some space to reorient.

“You’re too excited to sleep?”

There was a vigorous nod that had crumbs falling everywhere.

“Figures,” he sighed, “The aftereffects of adrenaline are never fun.” He watched the teenager devour the second bar in mere seconds, mind whirling with doubt. “Do you want me to stay with you until you are tired enough to go to bed?”

Wide eyes found his and, mouth still full, Peter gave a timid nod, uncertain question marks clear in the twinkle of his eyes and the way he cocked his head to the side slightly.

“Okay, let’s make some tea and put on a movie. What do you wanna watch? Frozen?” He turned around to start rummaging through the kitchen for herbal tea.

That must’ve been enough for Peter to finally swallow his food and get his bearings. “How do you even know about Frozen, Mr. Stark? Are you a fan?” he quipped.

He half-turned, kettle in hand, grinning when Peter plopped down on the couch and immediately tucked himself into the blanket Pepper had neatly folded and stashed on the arm rest before she had gone to sleep. “Have you been outside last year? Show me someone who doesn’t know about Frozen.”

“Fair point,” Peter agreed easily, mind obviously already a step further. “What’s your favorite Star Wars?”

“Uh,” Tony put the kettle on the stove, “I have seen about as many Star Wars movies as I’ve seen Frozen movies.”

“You –“ The way Peter turned must put a painful strain on his neck but he looked too scandalized to notice. “What?”

The kettle whistled and he put in two bags of Pepper’s herbal tea before replying, “I have never watched Star Wars.”

“Oh my –“ For the second time that evening Peter looked utterly confused which, for a kid that smart, was especially amusing. “What rock have you been living under? I thought everyone knew Star Wars. Especially old people.”

“Hey!” He admonished but had to admit that it lost much of its brunt when he put down two steaming glasses of tea and started tugging at the blanket to cover Peter’s foot fully. “Be nice to me.”

“I’m being super nice, Mr. Stark. ‘Cause I’m gonna introduce you to a galaxy far, far away. The best galaxy.”

Tony watched in amusement as Peter ordered F.R.I.D.A.Y. to put on Episode IV and then looked eagerly back at him. “You’re gonna love it.”

“This is supposed to make you tired, squirt,” he reminded him, tapping his knee gently.

“It will,” he promised, “Star Wars always calms me down.”

The way he said it made Tony pause, made his heart ache with the harsh reality this kid had had to face and how bright he still was despite of it. Instead of an answer he pushed the glass of tea into his hands and made sure he was all tucked in before starting the movie.

Surprisingly enough Peter wasn’t lying. Halfway through the movie his breathing had evened out so much that Tony thought he was already asleep, cheek mushed into one of the big pillows, curled in on himself.

When the movie was over he stirred, slurring “G’nna watch the rest t’morrow?”

“Maybe let’s split it up a little, whataya say?” He reached out to brush some of his curls from his forehead, surprised by the gentleness of the gesture. “But we can watch them together if you want to.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise, kiddo.”

ii.

With Peter it wasn’t exactly hard to notice when something was off.

Even Tony, who admittedly was often too caught up in his own world to be fine-tuned into other people’s feelings and was much more comfortable fixing a cranky robot than moody human, could see it from a mile away. Or maybe that was a new kind of sense that began and ended with Peter Parker’s wellbeing. Oh well, he tried not to dwell on that.

The thing about Peter was that, when he was fine, his entire being radiated contentment, his voice tripped with excitement and his eyes shone with laughter. On a good day he was the picture perfect golden retriever puppy and similarly receptive to hugs and hair ruffles.

Today, though, his usual exuberance had visibly deflated and when he came to the workshop he punched in his code and then continued to scuff towards his workstation with only a passing hello. That was not the Peter Tony knew and, frankly, it was worrying to see someone normally so eager and lively so … lacking of life for lack of a better word.

The thing about Tony was that he was, by his own standing, probably the least equipped to deal with someone having a bad day. Heck, his own bad days usually ended in working through every meal, chugging coffee by the gallon and seeing no sun light for hours on end and even he knew that wasn’t healthy.

So he kept quiet at first and let Peter work in hopes of it calming him down because what did he know about healthily dealing with teenage angst on a Wednesday?

He kept a close eye on him, though, because for how much Tony didn’t think he was equipped to handle Peter’s bad days he also wanted to chase the shadows from his face and the hardness from his stance however cliché that sounded.

He wanted to help, he did. He just didn’t know how. So he watched from afar and contemplated.

When Peter dropped the screw driver a third time and was getting more and more agitated with the web shooter he was working on, Tony decided to stage an intervention ‘cause what the heck. He hated seeing the kid so down.

Rolling his chair over to the teenager’s work bench he picked up the tool before Peter could. “You wanna tell me what’s up, squirt?”

Peter glared, which was about as intimidating as a golden retriever puppy glaring, “Nothing,” and reached for the screw driver. Which Tony pulled out of reach at the last moment. Which made him look even more like a puppy. It was all in the big brown eyes, he decided then.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I have a secret identity.”

“Which I found out about in like a day.” He leaned back with a grin and started throwing the screwdriver in the air and effortlessly catching it.

“You’re Tony Stark,” the kid gave back with an eye roll, catching the tool before Tony had the chance to. “But I’m fine, honestly.”

“I mean,” he crossed his arms and watched him turn back to his web shooter rather listlessly, “considering that you not being fine usually means you’re bleeding out in an alleyway I’m not entirely reassured.”

“I’ve never bled out in an alleyway.”

“Yeah, because I flew in to get you before you could.”

“Why do you even care?” Peter snapped at him, a flicker of teenage annoyance dancing in his eyes before vanishing in the time it took Tony to ponder the fact that even this seemingly perfect kid could be annoyed. Finally. “Sorry,” he sighed, proving yet again how much better he was than literally anyone else, “I’m just annoyed.”

If that wasn’t a break-through, than he didn’t know what was. Silently patting himself on the back, Tony reached out to turn Peter’s chair so he was facing him and gently took the screw driver from his hands, putting him down on the work bench before giving the kid his full intention.

“What are you annoyed about?”

He shrugged indifferently, not meeting his eyes, “I don’t know. I just... Ned and I got into an argument and he was being so… so stubborn about it. Like, it wasn’t even that bad but he just wouldn’t budge.”

“Oh no, a stubborn teenager. Someone call the zoo we’ve found an endangered species,” he deadpanned.

Peter glared again but Tony could also see him bite down on his lower lip to keep it from curling upwards.

“Sorry, sorry. What did you and Ned fight about?”

“It wasn’t a fight… not really,” he corrected, “And it was dumb. Like, really ridiculous to be so annoyed about it. It’s not… it’s just stupid.”

Cocking his head to the side ever so slightly he raised an eyebrow and repeated calmly, “What did you argue about? I mean, if you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine but if it’s got you so up in arms about it maybe you should is all I’m saying.”

“You’re gonna think it’s stupid,” Peter pouted.

“Maybe,” Tony shrugged, “But it’s still okay to be angry about something stupid sometimes. You don’t wanna know about half the things Rhodey and I fought about back in the days. Still do, actually.”

“Now I kinda do,” Peter grinned, then paused. “We argued about the Jedi code.”

“You… argued about the Jedi code,” Tony repeated dumbly, “Like… The Star Wars guys running around in wardrobes? They have a code?”

Big brown eyes flew up to meet his, full of indignation “Of course they have a code! There’s actually a couple different versions of it which is what we were arguing about because he said –,“ Peter stopped speaking midsentence, mouth slamming shut audibly. “It doesn’t matter… You don’t… you don’t have to listen to this, honestly, Mr. Stark.”

He made sure to school his expression and started speaking deliberately slowly, “Peter. I know I don’t have to listen to this. And, as you’ve pointed out before I am Tony Stark and you know I rarely do anything I don’t want to but, kid, you gotta know at this point that I like having you around and I like talking to you. That doesn’t just hold true when you’re your usual bubbly self but also, and especially when you’re not. This is clearly important to you. And if it’s important to you, I’m interested.”

He waited until Peter gave him a nod of understanding, timid as it may be, and leaned back in his chair again, “So tell me about this discourse in the Star Wars fandom.”

The kid didn’t have to be told twice and Tony felt his soul settle when he watched him perk up and dive into what must’ve obviously been weighing him down.

“Okay, so the Jedi code most commonly used goes like: There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge etcetera which, you know, it’s mostly meant to be used as a mantra for meditation to, like, get to a place where you don’t let your emotions overtake you and stuff. And I get that, I do.”

When Tony gave an earnest nod to show he was listening, Peter continued. “But it wasn’t always like that. It used to be: Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge, and so on. And I like that one better because it acknowledges the fact that Jedi do have emotions like everyone else, too, right? I think that’s important! And this whole black-and-white view of ‘There’s no emotion whatsoever’ makes me so mad!”

He was gesticulating wildly, cheeks reddening with fervor as he spoke.

“Putting aside how hypocritical the whole thing sounds, you can’t make people think that having emotions will put them on a direct path to the Dark side when so much of the goodness of the Good side comes from how much they care. It’s all about controlling those emotions enough to not make bad decisions based on them but – Why can’t there be peace with emotion? By giving their Padawans the feeling that they’re in the wrong for being… well, for being people they just make it so much easier for them to fall to the Dark side!”

“It just – it makes me mad how black-and-white they want to make the world seem. And by doing that they start lying to themselves and to their students and what good does a code do when it’s impossible to hold yourself to it? You can’t just go around telling people there’s no Death but the Force when that is, objectively, a lie. Whereas Death, yet the Force acknowledges that people die but gives you the closure of knowing where you’ll find them again and the belief that they’re still with you, somehow. I think … I think that’s beautiful.” Once he was done he slumped together on his chair.

“Feeling better now?” Tony asked, reaching out to pat the top of his head.

“Yeah, a little,” he sighed, “I’m annoyed that we even argued about it but I also don’t like how he wouldn’t even listen to my point of view, ya know?”

“Well, did you listen to his side?”

“I mean,” Peter blinked up at him sheepishly, “Kinda?” The corners of his lips tugged upwards and he gave a shrug, “Maybe not as much as I should have,” he admitted with a sigh. They fell silent for a moment, Tony giving Peter the time to work through the wall his mind had built up.

“Guess I’m gonna text him an apology for not listening and that it’s okay that we have different opinions.”

“Atta boy!” Tony grinned at him and while he knew none of Peter’s maturity was his doing, his heart still swelled with pride of how good Peter was.

“Can we watch Star Wars now?”

“You got your homework done?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yes.”

“Hungry?”

He laughed, exasperated, “Nothing some popcorn couldn’t fix.”

Tony smiled, then sobered and gave him a once over. “You okay?”

Peter nodded, a lone strand of curl bobbing back and forth, smile soft and true. “Yeah.”

Well, that settled it. He clapped his hands once and got up from his chair in a swift motion. “Then let’s watch... What comes after Episode six?”

“Episode one!” Peter jumped up, grabbing his wrist like a child pulling their parent towards a candy store, “You’ll finally meet Anakin. And honestly that’s exactly my point! Maybe if they hadn’t told him that all emotion is bad –“

He let himself be dragged upstairs and listened to him rambling over the Jedi code and he realized, in that instant, that he was truly, irrevocably happy.

iii.

“I cannot believe I let you put me into this,” he complained, his voice breathy and rough.

Peter pulled on his white robe and fastened his light saber in its holder for the umpteenth time. “To be fair, you were the one who wanted a mask. I wanted you to go as Obi Wan.”

“He is blond, Peter,” he shot back like he had the last hundred times they’d had this conversation. He looked around through the dark lenses of his mask, the HUD he had installed blinking up to scour the crowd for possible threads, and sighed, “I miss the days where I was oblivious to Star Wars and didn’t have an annoying teenager dragging me to these things.”

“No, you don’t.”

He was glad the mask hid his smile at the easy banter. It was bad enough Peter knew exactly how wrapped around his little finger he was, he didn’t have to show it time and time again.

“Okay, I don’t. But you still owe me one.”

“But Mr. Sta-a-ark,” he said, dragging his last name for at least two more syllables than it had and looking as pitiful as if he’d actually just lost his hand, “I’m already being punished enough. We’re going to MOMA next semester.”

Despite himself, Tony could feel the fondness shine through as he chuckled, “Excuse me, are you actually voicing dislike in something? Are you actually my Peter Parker or have you officially become a rebel now?”

The kid giggled, honest to god giggled, and shrugged, “Guess there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Mr. Stark. I do dislike things!”

“Really? Name three.” He raised an unimpressed eyebrow, leveling Peter with a glare before realizing that the gesture was completely lost in his costume. Not even the tone translated. He really needed to figure something out for that next time. He couldn’t have his natural charm get lost in the Dark side.

The thought made him stop dead in his tracks – thankfully still unseen by the Jedi next to him. Next time? He hated this costume with a passion why would he consider wearing it again?

Unbeknownst to the inner whirlwind that were his thoughts, Peter actually answered his question after floundering for a bit.

“Well, I don’t like bad people. And hurricanes. And MOMA. Even though, MOMA really never did anything to me, I’d just rather go somewhere else y’know. I mean, it’ll probably be kinda nice anyway? So yeah, maybe I don’t not like MOMA. But – I still don’t like, uh, racists?”

Ah, yeah, that was why he was actually thinking about a next time in this ridiculous outfit. Because of Peter freaking Parker.

“Those are all very good things to dislike, Mr. Parker, but I was actually hoping that all people with a little decency and common sense disliked those things,” he teased. “Just admit that you do not have a single mean bone in your body and that it’s physically impossible for you to dislike anything.”

“That’s not –“

“I love your cosplay, man!” some guy in a badly made Yoda costume whose ears were precariously close to falling off the side of his head and were only held in place by a few strands of grey fuzz interrupted him and the disturbance would have annoyed Tony had Peter’s face not started positively lighting up at the compliment.

“Thank you!” he replied easily with a face splitting grin, “I love yours, too. What’d you use to make the ears?”

“Just papier-mâché”, Yoda replied, obviously taken aback by the interest in his own costume by someone with an obviously home-made light saber. He seemed excited, though, and started rambling about something until he let his eyes wander to the side and took in Tony’s appearance for the first time.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, yes, gasped, and gaped at him like a fish pulled out of water, “That is the best father and son costume ever! Can I take a picture of the two of you?”

And before Tony could so much as utter a word, Peter had already nodded his consent and leaned against him with a huge grin on his face and the other kid was fumbling for his phone and started snapping pictures of them. And then a selfie, because of course.

“Is this real life?” he breathed out almost silently.

“It might just be fantasy,” his sassy AI replied instantly, earning him another gasp and round of big, wide eyes from Yoda.

“Did your mask just reply to you? And did the eyes light up? How did you do that?”

“It’s just a, uh,” very high-tech AI system that was talking back to him, “it’s like Google glasses.” He cringed internally and could feel more than see Peter snicker against his side.

“Oh, like the ones Tony Stark always wears?”

By now Peter was having to work so hard on holding back his laughter that he had gone almost rigid, grinning from ear to ear and happily answering for him. “Yes, yes, Tony Stark is totally wearing Google glasses.”

“Ah, well, I think yours are cooler anyway. I mean you’d never find Tony Stark at the Star Wars midnight premiere.”

Oh, don’t I wish, he thought, ruefully imagining how comfortable he could be on his own couch right now.

Peter, though, Peter was loving this which made him reconsider his earlier statement about the mean bones in his body.

“Yeah, you’re way cooler than Tony Stark. Right, dad?”

Oh for goodness sake. That sassy dad should not do the things to his heart that it was currently doing. That could not be healthy.

“Sure,” he cleared his throat to get rid of the pesky emotions in there, “I mean, Tony Stark is a pretty cool guy but, uh, yeah, so much cooler.”

And, as if someone had heard his prayers, the doors to the movie theater were opened and a reverent murmur went through the crowd before people – droids and aliens, Jedi and Sith alike – started wandering in and taking their places and finally, finally the thing they were actually here to see could begin.

Tony would complain about that day to anyone who would listen (and to some, like Pepper, who wouldn’t) but when Peter sent him one of the pictures the Yoda guy had taken, he framed it and put it up next to the picture of him and Rhodey proudly presenting Dum-E in his lab.

Until, of course, when he broke it in a moment of uncontrollable grief because looking at all he used to have just hurt too dang much.

iv.

“You coming, kiddo?”

The voice came out of nowhere, startling him so much he almost toppled over the front porch’s wooden railing he was leaning against.

“Wha-“ he whirled around and his heart simultaneously sang and sank, “Oh, it’s just you.”

“Yeah, just me. Sorry to disappoint.” The quip fell from his lips easily but his mentor’s dark eyes shone with concern. Somehow that made the lump in his stomach grow even heavier.

“That’s not – I mean, uh, I’m not –“ he stumbled over his words, cringing at how high-pitched his voice sounded even to his own ears, “Sorry. I’m –“

He stopped midsentence when he realized that he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say and just shrugged, coupled with a small smile that was definitely fake and evidently did not convince Mr. Stark of anything.

He was still coming closer, slowly and careful of the shiny prosthetic that sat where his arm used to be.

The image made Peter sick and he tried to focus on his face instead. There were a few more wrinkles than he remembered, especially around his eyes and mouth – from laughing no doubt. He was sporting more grey hair, too, and he looked comfortable in his dark blue cardigan where he used to wear suits or band shirts. He looked exactly like someone who lived happily in a lake house.

“You okay, squirt?”

He snapped out of his spiraling thoughts and, on reflex, started nodding.

“See,” he stopped when he was next to him and leaned against the railing, too, facing Peter who turned to face the small boat that was moving ever so slightly with the lake’s small ripples. “I don’t believe you.”

Huh.

“You’re not okay.” It was a statement, leaving no room for him to argue.

“But –“ He was cut off and a part of him was glad for it because what was he going to say anyway? He was a bad liar and Mr. Stark good at reading him. That, at least, was something that hadn’t changed.

“None of us are really okay and that’s okay,” Mr. Stark said and turned to watch the lake now, too. “Or so I’ve been told repeatedly. But, as I’ve also been reliably informed, we have to talk to each other to get better.”

He shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest, tugging both hands under his arm-pits to keep them from shaking.

“No talking, I take it?”

He shrugged again.

“Would you let me hug you?”

His head snapped up instantly. The question came as a surprise but sounded honest and hesitant and attentive and it made his head spin. But, when he took a moment to think about it, he ended up nodding. He didn’t think there was a whole lot he would refuse the man for a while.

Almost immediately he was being wrapped into a strong healthy arm and pulled close until Mr. Stark could bury his face in his hair and take in a deep breath. He couldn’t help but notice how heavily his mentor was leaning against the railing while holding him but he also noticed how his entire body seemed to loosen as the hug went on, how tension and worry slowly sept out of his stance.

Peter noticed the same for himself, too, and somehow that made him want to cry.

The arm around him was steady and it held him together when everything had seemed to fall apart and his head was spinning and he felt his eyes tear up and his heart beat speed up and he suddenly wished that he could stay here forever.

Which was ridiculous. Mr. Stark just wanted to give him a quick hug and go on with his day. He couldn’t know how liberating his touch felt, how cared for and valued and loved Peter felt just by being in his arms and he couldn’t just tell him. He couldn’t –

But it felt so nice.

“Hey, hey, bud,” Mr. Stark sounded worried and it felt like he wanted to pull away and Peter’s breaths started coming in quicker at the thought. There was a sound somewhere in the back of his throat and Mr. Stark stopped pulling away but still loosened his grip.

“It’s okay, kiddo,” he shushed him and Peter had to swallow down a sob because this was getting ridiculous but it felt so nice, “It’s gonna be okay, I promise. It’s gonna be okay.”

After a moment he had caught himself enough to not start breaking down and gave a nod. “I’m –“ he sniffed and whispered, “Thank … Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

For a moment it seemed like his mentor wasn’t going to say anything but then he gave a small smile and pulled him into his side instead. “Anytime, kiddo. Now let’s watch Rogue One. The Force is telling me it’s time for a high stakes-tragedy-comfort movie.”

Despite himself, Peter let out a wet giggle. “There’s never a wrong time for Star Wars, Mr. Stark.”

“I know, I know. It’s tradition. Or so you keep telling me,” he said and the fondness in his voice almost made Peter cry again.

He didn’t, though.

They went back into the empty lake house – May, Pepper and Morgan were having a girls day apparently – made themselves comfortable on the big couch and put on the movie as if they had never done anything else. They moved like a well-oiled machine, like a team that had been working together forever.

Peter was curled into Mr. Stark’s side and his thumb was constantly caressing his knee and it felt wonderful. It felt like home.

The lump in his throat never left.

Somehow it kept growing with every passing minute and with it the loneliness and while he felt right at home it also felt like he shouldn’t. His body felt out of place, as if all the pieces of him had never truly reintegrated, leaving him with holes in his being that he wasn’t sure how to fill.

He watched Chirrut Îmwe blindly walk across battlefields and single-handedly eliminate an entire garrison, trusting the Force to keep him safe and the blazing desire for that kind of certainty hit him unaware.

Maybe that was the whole problem, he realized slowly, as he watched Galen’s message to his daughter and that was when the first tear fell, silent and painful.

Ever since he had come back barely anything had seemed certain anymore. There had been things he had believed to be unchangeable but then a mad Titan had snapped his fingers and his beliefs had turned into dust alongside his body and half the universe and then he had come back and everything had been different and even things that appeared to be the same just weren’t.

May had been gone, too. They still loved each other the same way they always had. Unconditionally. Unquestioningly. Easy. She never had to miss him, never faced a world without him in it. She was the only constant he could claim but everything else –

He couldn’t understand how it had been five years and Mr. Stark had a wife and a kid and a lake house and how he could have still missed him with all that. How he could’ve even had the time. Why would he miss Peter of all people? And, and…

Mr. Stark’s affection was different now. Fiercer, gentler, more… more parental. Or maybe it wasn’t different but he was more open with it. He looked at him the way he looked at Morgan and he couldn’t make sense of that. He couldn’t.

Why would anyone miss me?

He kept circling back to the same question.

Whywhywhywhy- Why me?

He didn’t notice he started full on crying until suddenly the screen in front of him was blurry and his cheeks were wet and his breaths came in rough. He tried to breathe through it, to keep his body calm and steady so Mr. Stark wouldn’t notice but it made his lungs feel like they were on fire trying to keep it all in.

As if he had read his thoughts Mr. Stark’s hand moved up from where it had been resting on his knee and started rubbing slow circles into his scalp. He didn’t move otherwise, made no attempt to pull away and when he spoke his voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Did he? He knew if he started talking, he’d start spiraling and he’d lose the last ounce of self-control he was clinging to. He didn’t want that.

He shook his head, but his body started shaking more violently anyway when he couldn’t breathe through the sobs anymore.

“Shh, that’s okay, buddy, that’s fine,” Mr. Stark murmured, “But stop trying to bite down on your tears. I know how much that hurts. It’s okay. Let it out. I’m here.”

He kept talking – quietly, soothingly, calmly – and at some point Peter’s body decided to listen and he stopped trying to keep quiet and when the first sob broke through his lips he buried his head in Mr. Stark’s stomach and let himself cry.

It hurt and more often than not Mr. Stark had to remind him to slow down his breathing so the oxygen could reach his brain and it didn’t seem to ever stop. But it was also freeing.

Every sob that tore through him gave voice to a pain he had buried inside like needles in his soul that he was pulling out one after the other. For the first time since he had come back he felt like he could breathe again.

His lungs were finally uncurling fully, the weight that had been sitting on his ribcage was gone. He could breathe and at first he gulped in the air like someone pulled from certain death through drowning. He felt like he had been suffocating for weeks and this was the first time someone had pulled his head above water again.

“Slowly, squirt, slowly. Breathe nice and slowly, the air’s not going anywhere, I promise.”

And if Mr. Stark promised to keep his head above water it must be right. After all, Mr. Stark always kept his promises.

They didn’t exchange anything other than those small reassurances and soothings until the end of the movie. And Peter shed a few tears when the inevitable happened but he was tired and cried out and so emotionally drained he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to feel again.

Still, when Princess Leia appeared on the screen he felt the same flutter of hope in his chest that he always felt when he watched it and his soul settled.

“Hope,” she said on screen and the single syllable word echoed through his body, spreading like a bonfire and melting places that had been numb for days.

Everything was going to be okay.

When the credits started rolling, that’s when Mr. Stark started talking again starting with a cough to clear his throat that sounded like he had been crying, too.

“I know you may not want to talk about it, Pete, but I feel like we should.” He sighed and he sounded sad and strong at the same time. More importantly, though, he never stopped running his fingers through his hair. “You may not have heard but I’m a responsible adult now. Someone who makes kids talk about their problems.”

Peter snorted and Mr. Stark gave a chuckle.

“Granted, Morgan’s tears are usually about whether or not we’re letting her have that second juice pop but we do talk about that.”

“You give her the juice pop, don’t you?” His voice was scratchy but Mr. Stark didn’t comment on that. He laughed quietly.

“It depends, honestly. On whether or not Pepper is around when the tantrum starts.”

“You’re a great dad to her,” he whispered in reply and if he had thought he had calmed down just half a minute earlier then his heart felt like splitting open again now. He couldn’t put the finger on it, didn’t want to admit to himself that it was jealousy of the time they had that he would never get. He hated himself for thinking about it. If anyone deserved a family it was Mr. Stark and Morgan was the sweetest child. It was just –

Morgan belonged with her family, she was a Stark through and through – stubbornness and smarts and all. And Mr. Stark belonged with Pepper and his daughter, too. He knew that. He wanted that for them.

He just – he had thought that he had kind of belonged with Mr. Stark, too, but how could he now that he had been gone for five years? How could he ever belong anywhere ever again?

“As they say; practice makes perfect,” Mr. Stark spoke, completely oblivious to Peter’s thoughts, “Guess it gets easier the second time around.”

For a moment he forgot to spiral into self-doubt and angst and stopped. A Second… Second time? Huh?

As if he sensed the wordless question, his mentor pulled him closer and buried his face in his hair again. It seemed to soothe him as much as it calmed Peter. He seemed comfortable this close. Happy, at home.

“See, squirt, I know that I didn’t raise you. I would never take that honor and privilege from May and your Uncle Ben and your parents. They made you in the person you were when I met you and that person was already better than anything I could have ever hoped to achieve. But then,” he paused as if unsure how to continue, “We did meet and I did get the honor of being in your life, of mentoring you, of caring for you. I made a lot of mistakes at first and – My biggest mistake was trying to keep you at arm’s length.”

“I don’t – I don’t understand,” Peter whispered, pushing himself up far enough to meet his mentor’s eyes that were glistening with unshed tears. His gaze softened even more when he saw his own tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes and there was a shadow of anguish and a spark of love in them.

“I know,” he sighed, never breaking eye contact but shifting them into a more comfortable position, “You can’t understand because I never told you. Not really. But, Peter, you have to know, that you’re my kid. You are as much my kid as Morgan is. You made me want to be a dad, made me want to prove that I could because I wanted to be one to you and I didn’t want to fail you. And –“ he stopped and a shudder went through his body, “And then I did. I failed you and I – I never forgave myself for that. And I never stopped missing you. God, I missed you so much, Pete.”

But … “Why would you… Why me?”

“Because, Peter. Because you’re my boy and I love you and the world was so much darker without you in it and because every awful moment would’ve been less awful with you and every good moment would’ve been perfect. I – I kept going, I went on because I had to. Because there were Pepper and Rhodey and then Morgan. I had to keep going but that doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you every single second of every single day.”

“I’m scared that I don’t belong anymore. That I don’t belong anywhere anymore,” he admitted finally. The shameful confession uttered so quietly that the words almost got lost in his mentor’s heavy breaths on his cheeks.

“Oh,” Mr. Stark looked at him stunned, like he had grown a second head for a good moment before leaning forward and pulling him back in, holding him tighter than he had ever held him. Both arms folding across his back with the prosthetic cutting into his skin but it didn’t matter, it didn’t. Because he felt held together in place, in a place where he belonged and where he was wanted. He was being anchored and kept from drifting off into the infinite vastness of space and he was so incredibly grateful.

“You belong here, kiddo,” he took in the fierce words in his ear, let them run down his back and warm him like a hot shower after a cold day. “You belong with me and you belong with May. You belong in Queens and you belong here, in this lake house that has been planned with your bedroom in mind. You belong with your family and, for as long as you let me, I will never let you go ever again.”

He cried some more after that – cried himself to sleep that night in fact – but Mr. Stark was there the whole time, holding him, whispering reassurances and tickling a wet smile out of him eventually. The next day was a little bit better. The self- doubt didn’t evaporate, didn’t leave right away.

Some days were worse than others, some were better. Some the voices in his head had him going mad with why’s and what-if’s and some days he couldn’t even hear them over Morgan’s giggles and May’s bad jokes and Mr. Stark lecturing Dum-E.

Coming back wasn’t easy by any means and it did take a while but a couple of weeks later, he jumped out of Happy’s new SUV, running up to the front porch and flying into Mr. Stark’s waiting arms, and his thoughts hummed happily with only one thought.

I’m home.

#irondadsecretsanta #irondad #iron dad #irondad fic #peter parker #tony stark #star wars #josis fic #chaos yet harmony #merry christmas!!

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icklemissmayhem · 4 years

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BTS Fic - Stones Thrown - Chapter 5

T/W: Shooting at a concert, Injury, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Ao3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Jin wakes to Yoongi calling both his name and Taehyung’s repeatedly, though he quickly realises in very different tones. He’s speaking softly, reassuringly to Tae, and pretty much whisper-shouting at Jin to wake up. As he blinks his eyes fully open, Jin squints in the dim light, it’s obviously still night-time, the lights in their bay switched off, though the area is lit from the ward corridor and the monitors they’re attached to still. He also becomes aware of a soft whimpering, gasping noise, especially when Yoongi quietens, having noticed Jin is now awake and listening. “Yoongi, what’s-” he starts, almost immediately being interrupted, but for once not caring as he clears his throat, hoping his voice will sound less hoarse the next time he speaks. “Hyung, it’s Tae, something’s wrong, he won’t answer me, I’m going to call-” Yoongi blurts, clearly worried, panicked almost, reaching for his call button, pausing as Jin responds. “Just wait. Give me a minute.” He makes eye contact with Yoongi as he uses the controls on his bed to raise himself into a sitting position, grimacing as he shifts position before turning as much as he can towards Taehyung, equal parts glad and relieved once more that the hospital staff put him next to Jin, just a few feet away when he was brought up to the ward eventually in the evening. “Taehyung-ah, It’s hyung. What’s wrong? Does it hurt, do you need more medicine?” he queries, frowning when Tae’s only response to his questioning is more whimpering and more gasping breaths, his eyes wide open, but not focussing on Jin as he continues to speak. “Taehyung?” he tries again, louder this time, but gets no- well, the same response. Worried now, Jin shifts towards the edge of his bed, gingerly turning and sliding his legs over the edge of the bed closest to Taehyung. “Hyung, no- what the f-” Yoongi protests, grabbing once more at the call button. Jin grunts as his feet hit the floor, and heaves himself upright, grabbing hold of the cabinet beside his bed to steady himself, a wave of dizziness sweeping over him briefly. “Seokjin-hyung, no, get back in bed, I’ll call-” Yoongi continues to protest, Jin fixing him with a pointed look, practically a glare, across the bay, before he takes a step towards Taehyung, grimacing as the leads and tubes he’d momentarily forgotten about in his determination to reach Tae make their presence felt. “Min Yoongi, I swear, if you press that damn button I’ll-” Jin threatens, taking another step, cutting himself off, hissing as his IV line pulls out of his hand. One step later, and he’s turning and lowering himself gently down onto the side of Taehyung’s bed, and looking down at him, Taehyung lying almost rigid, breathing rapidly, but seemingly unaware of anything around him, until Jin gently touches the side of his face. Tae’s eyes shoot to Jin’s face suddenly, and he seems to stiffen somehow, but then relaxes, a sigh shakily leaving his lips as tears form in his eyes. “Hey Taehyung-ah” Jin practically croons, fingers gently brushing hair back away from his face, only stilling the movement when Taehyung brings one of his hands up and grips his wrist tightly, before relaxing his grip, but keeping the contact. “Are you in pain?” He smiles when Taehyung screws up his face but then shakes his head. “Good… That’s good, I’m glad.” “Hyung, is Tae…?” he hears Yoongi ask hesitantly, and he looks up, smiling still. “He’s ok Yoongi-yah. He’s awake now.” He looks down at Taehyung once more as he feels his hand being squeezed tightly again, Tae opening his mouth to speak. “Hyung-” he grimaces, and tries to clear his throat, but his voice sounds as weak as before when he speaks again. “-couldn’t… I… scared.” “You had a bad dream?” Again, Taehyung screws up his face, thinking, but doesn’t answer. “Taehyung-ah?” Silence. Jin sighs, smiling sadly. “You know we’re safe here, right?” Tae raises an eyebrow sceptically, still not speaking as he inhales shakily, tears still spilling slowly, Jin wiping them away carefully. “We’re at the hospital now, Yoongi too, remember?” He gets a nod for that at least. “Listen Tae. We are safe now, I promise. We have security here on the ward, outside too.” He reassures, knowing that having been the only reason he’d slept earlier. Taehyung lets out another shaky sigh, then mutters something, avoiding eye contact.

“Taehyung, please. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help.” Jin can see Yoongi across the room, propped up in bed now, watching the two of them, frowning, obviously concerned, probably annoyed that he can’t do anything to help. Jin flashes him a quick ‘ok’ sign, but his attention snaps back to Taehyung when he begins speaking once more.

“Jin-hyung, it wasn’t a dream, it… it really ha-“ and with that he crumbles completely, letting go of Jin’s hand and hiding his face as he begins sobbing brokenly. Silently cursing the fact he’s only got one hand, and he can’t pull Taehyung into his chest without hurting both of them, Jin does his best to wipe away the tears streaming down Tae’s face under his hands, stroking his hair, rubbing his thumb against his cheek, his jaw, his neck, anything he can think of that might provide any sort of comfort, murmuring soothing assurances all the while. He’s not sure how much time passes before Taehyung sucks in a long, shaky breath, scrubbing at his eyes before dropping his hands to his sides. He looks every bit the mess Jin expects, blotchy and damp-skinned from tears, still sniffing, when his breath isn’t catching in the occasional sob, but he seems to have calmed down somewhat. Jin brushes his hair back from his face once more and leaves his hand there as Tae leans into the contact, half-smiling as Tae looks up at him, just staring.

“Gwaechanah?” he whispers, before catching himself and adding “jyeossni?” at which Tae’s lips quirk slightly. “We will be.” he promises, nodding his head decisively. “You, me and Yoongi-yah over there” he continues, “We’re here, and we’re together, and we’ll get better. Together.” He smiles as Yoongi backs him up, deliberately drawling in Satoori, Tae smiling fully even as he scrubs at his eyes once more before responding in kind, vowing to fight back stronger than ever, or something to that effect. “Hyung, Taehyung-ah, we should probably get-” Yoongi yawns before he can finish the sentence, just as well, since the sheer ignominy of being told to sleep at a reasonable hour by Min Yoongi of all people would undoubtedly have caused a row to break out on a normal night, but this isn’t a normal night, Yoongi looks as tired as Jin feels, and despite barely spending any time awake since arriving on the ward, Taehyung looks as if he’s fighting to keep his eyes open. “OK Yoongi-yah” he replies, “Sleep well.” He watches as Yoongi lies back down flat, shifting slightly until he stills, as comfortable as he can be whilst lying on his back. He turns to face Taehyung, to wish him goodnight too, but as he does so, Tae grabs at his hand once more, holding it tight. “Hyung, I- don’t- I-” he stutters, before trying again. “Don’t want to sleep.” “Taehyung-ah” Jin whispers, squeezing his fingers reassuringly “you’ll be alright, I promise. You need to sleep to get better. Hyung will stay until-” “I don’t want to be alone.” Taehyung pleads. “Hyungnim please, I- I was alone, and no-one was there and- and no-one came to help and I couldn’t get up, and I couldn’t wake up and- No more drugs, no more sleep. Not alone.” Jin sighs as Tae quiets, obviously still upset by what sounds like a nightmare the drugs kept him from waking and escaping. “Taehyung-ah. You weren’t alone, I promise. I was there with you the whole time, on the stage remember? Then Joon and Hoseok-ah were with you til you got to the hospital. I know, I do, it’s been scary for all of us, but we’re not alone. Never have been, never will be.” Seeing Tae’s eyes gloss over with tears once more, he hurriedly continues. “You weren’t alone. That was just a nightmare. Yoongi-yah is over there-” he reassures him, gesturing, “-and I’ll be right there.” he finishes, pointing at his own bed, barely any distance away. Taehyung frowns, reaching to grab Jin’s wrist and pulling it down close to his chest. “Hyung… sleep here instead.” he all but begs, refusing to let go of Jin’s hand, even as Jin tries to gently free it from his tightening grip. He sighs as he tries one last time to get Taehyung to settle. “Tae, there’s really not enough ro- Yah! Wait- don’t!” He interrupts himself twice in as meany seconds as Tae, stubbornly attempts to shuffle to the far side of the bed, barely moving before he stills, grimacing. “Yeah. That’s why.” Jin murmurs, not unkindly, as Taehyung sucks in a few deep breaths. “Taehyung, this really isn’t a good idea. Imagine one of us falling o-” Taehyung interrupts at that point, still quietly pleading, and Jin makes the mistake he so often does when dealing with the youngest members and makes eye contact with him. He should know better, know his own weaknesses when he’s trying to be responsible, reasonable, but far too often, like right now, with Tae’s eyes still puffy and red, glassy with the threat of more tears, they manage to convince him to go against his better judgement, just by looking at him - and Taehyung still won’t loosen his grip on Jin’s hand. Jin huffs as his resolve crumbles, along with any inclination to stand up and return to his own bed. “If one of us ends up on the floor it’s on you, Kim Taehyung.” he half-jokes, as a smile just barely pulls up the edges of Tae’s mouth, scrubbing at his eyes roughly before laying his arm out across the space he’s managed to create for Jin to lie down next to him.

“We won’t.” he states matter-of-factly, smiling fully as Jin lifts his feet onto the bed and slides them under the blanket, turning his body gingerly as he does so, before lying down, moving slowly and carefully, focussing on not jostling Taehyung, rather than being careful on his own account, something he almost immediately regrets, hissing out a pained breath as he settles, his injured shoulder protesting as he tries to relax back onto the bed. Tae’s arm immediately curls around from under his neck, fingers momentarily combing through his hair before stilling as Taehyung hums contentedly. Jin feels him shift slightly, before smiling as his other hand is seized by Tae’s, fingers wrapping round his own and squeezing gently. “Taehyung-ah…” he whispers “what are you…?” “Just making sure hyung doesn’t fall out of bed.” Tae murmurs in response, and Jin can practically hear him grinning cheekily now he’s gotten his own way, as he so often does. “Yah, you menace. Time to sleep.” he admonishes, even as a grin matching Taehyung’s own flashes across his face before he yawns.

“Ok hyung. Goodnight.” Tae agrees, sleepily.

“Sweet dreams Taehyung-ah.” he murmurs, eyes closing, receiving only a hum as an answer.

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loveistherootofhappiness · 4 years

Text

Throwing out something a little positive before the season finale breaks our hearts...

Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Michael/OC (aka “Dr. McHottie”) w/ a little Bathena Rating: T Word Count: 2981

Summary: None of that included coming face to face with the guy that’s been wondering in and out of his thoughts for the last few days.

Can also be read here -----

Dr. Derek Hale walked slowly as he exited the elevator. Each step was paired with a sip of the black, way too strong, coffee that he’d gotten from the lobby. The acrid taste was awful, but was doing a manageable job of keeping him awake right now. He hated when he wasn’t prepared for a shift, felt he was not only doing a disservice to himself, but the patients as well not being a hundred percent. Though, he didn’t feel right calling out or asking a colleague to work in his place, it was his own fault he was so tired. Well, the fault of a certain guy he’d met in an elevator who’d been heavily on his mind for the last three days, but that was beside the point.

As he approached the nurse’s station, he shook all thoughts of “Elevator Guy” from his mind, knowing they’d stray to point of distraction if he continued this line of thinking. Putting his things down and brushing off all comments about how tired he looked, he poured through the charts and notes on the patients he was responsible for on the trauma ward. He steeled his focus and was able to get caught up on everything in about 30 minutes and prepared to start making his rounds. He grabbed his tablet, stethoscope, pocketed an otoscope, and walked towards the first room on his list to check in on the patient.

Athena wasn’t sleeping but resting comfortably, well, as comfortably as she could. The warm body snuggled against her was doing wanders for her. She was spooned against Bobby, face in his neck inhaling the scent she’d been missing for the last three days. Bobby had his hands wrapped around her careful to avoid any of her injuries. Parts of her body still ached, but this having him next her again, it was making it so much better. It took a bit of convincing to do this, but not as much as she thought it would.

“I know both of you know better,” Derek said in amusement as he opened the door to the room.

Athena groaned inwardly pulling herself out of the moment she was in. “Is it shift change time already?” Athena asked innocently, “I thought we had a little more time.”

“It’s okay, I guess I’ll let it slide,” Derek paused as he looked between Bobby and Athena, “this time.” Dereks voice still held it’s amused tone. This was was far from the first time that he found patients in bed with loved ones. He’d worked in trauma long enough to know how much physical contact could help in the healing process mental and emotionally, as well as physically. “I’m glad you have a support system with you.”

“So am I.” Athena placed her hand over Bobby’s near by one, rubbing her thumb along the the back.

Derek smiled as used his foot to lift the bed so he can examine her better. “I’m Dr. Derek Hale, by the way.”

“Athena Nash.”

Following the introductions, he went through the motions of examining of her. He took note of her vitals making sure everything was within normal ranges. “Scale of 1 to 10, how bad’s the pain today?”

“About a 4,” she answered honestly. He looked at her, seeing if there were any sign of lying, she appeared to be telling the truth.

“The pain meds been treating you okay?”

“Other than making me a little sleepy, I feel fine.”

He hummed in acknowledgment as he took note of her answer. He pulled out the otoscope, looking at her eyes, checking their reaction to light, “no headaches, blurred vision, nausea, trouble breathing?”

“There is a dull ache in my head, but the meds help with that. No blurred vision, nausea, nothing like that. My chest hurts a bit when I inhale, but it’s nothing I can’t handle” He turned off the scope and put it back in his pocket, taking note that everything was normal.

He took note of her facial wounds, which appeared to be healing normally, no signs of infection. Nothing that time wouldn’t be able to take care of.

“You seem to be doing very well Athena. No adverse reactions to treatment. Healing nicely.”

“Great. When can I go home?” She asked eagerly.

“Athena.” Her partner said pointedly, which she responded to by shooting him a look.

Derek chuckled, “it’s fine. It’s a fair question,” he sat at the end of Athena’s bed, “honestly speaking, I see no reason why we can’t have you out of here by the end of the day.”

“Oh thank god,” Athena breathed a sigh of relief while her partner still looked wary.

“You’re healing is going to take time, but, at this point, it nothing that can’t be done at home. I think we’ve bandaged you up as much as we can. I see no reason why we can’t have you out of here by the end of the day,” he rose to his feet, “so you guys can cuddle up together in your own bed. As long as it’s just cuddling, no strenuous activities right now and you still need to get plenty of rest.”

“Of course, I understand.”

“Do you have any other questions for me?” She shook her head. “Well, I’m going to go update your chart and get the discharge process started. It was good meeting you, Athena.”

He reached over and held out his hand towards her partner. “Bobby,” he told him. Derek faltered a bit, having remembered hearing the name, but recovered quickly before it was, hopefully, noticed. Bobby didn’t give him any indicate that he noticed when he let go of his hand.

“Alright, I’ll be back to check on you later.” He said to Athena before turning to leave. As he did, the door opened, putting him face to face with none other than “Elevator Guy” holding a bouquet of flowers and a bag of food.

When Michael woke up this morning his plans included: making sure his kids were okay, calling his mom, going to visit Athena, and bringing her and Bobby some lunch from Athena’s favorite place. None of that included coming face to face with the guy that’s been wondering in and out of his thoughts for the last few days. Though, he couldn’t say he was mad at the strange turn of events.

Michael knew he was staring way past the point of what was considered appropriate, but he couldn’t help himself. He knew the man looked good, but the low lighting of the elevator didn’t do him nearly enough justice. In the fluorescent lighting of the hospital room he could clearly see his piercing dark brown eyes, smooth deep brown skin, and powerful jawline. The man was beautiful. As he watched “Hot Doctor’s” features shift from surprise to almost smiling, he could see the recognition. It was comforting to know that he hadn’t forgotten him.

It took a nurse clearing her throat from behind him for him to realize how caught up they had gotten in the moment. “Oh, sorry,” Michael chuckled nervously and stepped out of the nurse’s way for her to enter the room.

The doctor took the opportunity to make his leave as well. “I need to continue making my rounds,” he said quickly before exiting the room just as quickly. Michael was so flustered he wasn’t able to get another word in before he left.

Michael was mentally kicking himself as he stood out of the way, while the nurse tended to Athena’s IVs. He still hadn’t gotten his name. He just stood there staring like an idiot. It was just as well, he had every opportunity to do so when he was trapped with him three nights ago for well over an hour. He sighed, damn if he didn’t know how to waste an opportunity. He didn’t miss the look the look that the nurse shot him as she walked out of the room after finishing. The universe’s way of telling him it agreed with him.

When the door clicked closed, he was left with Bobby and Athena’s amused looks. He made his way over to them, placing the flowers and food on the bedside table. “So, how are you feeling today?” He asked Athena as he distracted himself with taking the food out of the bag. He was met with silent, eyebrow raises as he handed each container to both of them and pulled the rolling table in front of Athena, “I’m not getting away with that, am I?”

“Not a chance,” Bobby said, taking the top of of his and Athena’s containers.

“Micheal, what was that? Do you know him?”

“Yes- well, no- umm, kinda, I guess,” he stumbled over his words, trying to find the right words to say, “I met him in an elevator,” he settled on.

“You met him in an elevator?” Athena asked slowly.

“The night of your- what happened, after my MRI, I was leaving the hospital, and found myself stuck in elevator with him. We were trapped for about an hour or so before we were finally rescued. When we were I had every intention of asking for his name and, possibly, his phone number when I got the call from Bobby about what happened. All of that flew out the window. After the dust settled and I knew you were okay, I had time to think about it. I kinda just chalked it up as a missed opportunity. Didn’t think I would see him again.”

“Wait, so you were trapped with him, for over an hour, and you didn’t get his name?” Bobby asked.

“Don’t remind me. I guess we just got to talking and it didn’t come up.” Michael fondly remembered how the conversation between them just flowed, it’d been a while since he’d felt that spark with someone.

“So what ya gonna do about it?” Athena asked casually, as she ate one of her fries.

“What do you mean?” Michael asked, feigning ignorance.

“I’m gonna ignore that because you know exactly what I mean.” Athena eyed him carefully, “it’s not like you to waste an opportunity.”

She was right, it wasn’t, but this was different, felt different. It had been a while,since he’d felt this level of attraction to someone, since he’d purposefully put himself out there. If the connection was anything to go off of, he could chance saying that “Hot Doctor” was attracted to him too. Maybe, at some level. This was all still so new to him, he didn’t want to be wrong or risk misreading what he believed could be signals. “You’re right, I just don’t wanna be wrong. I wanna be sure I’m not wrong here and he likes me too.”

“He likes you,” Athena and Bobby told him simultaneously.

“This entire hospital felt the chemistry between you two just now.” Athena joked.

“Ha ha,” Michael snarked, “can we drop this and focus on you?” Michael asked, more than ready to stop talking about this.

Athena eyed him, “fine, as long as you remember that you deserve to be happy.” He laid a hand on her shoulder and placed a kiss on her forehead in response.

“Now, how are you feeling?” With that question he, Bobby, and Athena feel into a comfortable conversation that wasn’t about him anymore.

Before he knew it, a couple of hours had gone by. May was texting him, asking him if it was okay if he and Harry went to the hospital. He let her know that her mom was being released from the hospital today and they should see her by tonight. Bobby had left to go home to shower, change, and bring some comfy clothes for Athena to go home in. He told him he’d stay with her until he came back.

Glancing over at Athena to find her still sleeping, Michael decided to use the opportunity to get some himself something to drink and some air. Rising from his seat, he left, closing the door softly behind him. He looked left and right in the hallway, seeing if he’d spot him waking the halls. No such luck. He walked towards the elevators and luckily didn’t have to wait long before they opened. He walked in and headed straight for the back wall, placing one hand on the bridge of his nose squeezing his eyes shut tightly and the other on the rail behind him.

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this.” The smooth, deep voice startled him a bit. Michael opened his eyes to find himself face to face with “Hot Doctor” as the elevator doors closed.

Michael sighed and slowly met his eyes before saying, “we do.”

He stepped closer to him and Michael put his other hand on the rail he was leaning against, trying desperately to hide his nervousness. He was probably failing, “you know, I’ve been kicking myself for a couple of days now.” He said to him.

“Oh, why?” Michael licked his lips and gripped the rail a little tighter.

“Well, you see, I met this guy, had this connection with him, well, at least, I thought so.”

“So, what happened?”

“Wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t get his name, and I didn’t even give him mine.”

Michael tried hard to hide his smile, “well, if the connection was there, you know, like you said it was, he just might be kicking himself for the same reasons. Maybe even wanting to apologize for running off without warning before you could get it.” Michael put his hands up, “that’s just me assuming that happened.”

He chuckled lowly, “well wouldn’t you know, that’s exactly what happened. I don’t blame him for it though, it happens. Seems like whatever it was seemed super important.”

“It was, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. Hypothetically speaking of course. You don’t seem like the type of guy someone would just leave hanging like that, you know, unless absolutely necessary.”

“Do I now?” He asked cheekily.

“Yeah, you do.” What was it about this guy that made all of this so easy for him?

“It’s just as well, he probably has someone special at home.”

“No, I don’t think he does.” His smile widened, brightening his entire face.

He held out his hand, “Derek Hale.”

Taking his hand in his, “Michael Grant.” There it was again, that spark. That small shockwave that reverberated throughout his body. Whatever this was, was strong, and Michael liked it.

“It nice to meet you, Michael Grant.”

“You as well, Derek Hale.” Dropping his hand and the facade, he asked, “So, what gave you the impression that I had someone special?”

“I don’t know, guys like you always do. Plus, I saw the look on your face when you answered Bobby’s call, before the bad news part, and-”

“Woah, woah, wait. You thought Bobby was,” Michael couldn’t help but laugh at the thought.

“Love how you find that so funny,” Derek said as he looked away shyly.

“No, no, no, sorry about that,” he recovered, wiping his eyes, “it’s just funny because Bobby is my ex-wife’s husband. The woman I was visiting, the mother of my kids, your patient, the guy that was in there with her.”

He watched Derek eyes widen in recognition, “so that was... oh! I thought Bobby was- so he isn’t your- woo, that’s a relief. And he I was thinking that the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about was in a relationship.”

“The guy you couldn’t stop thinking about?” Michael asked slowly, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Fuck, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

Before Michael could say anything further., the elevator started to move. Both looked at the other, knowing neither of them had pressed any buttons, and started to laugh. They both decided to shelve the conversation and fell into a comfortable silence as the elevator reached it destination: the first floor lobby.

When the elevator came to a halt, and the door opened, Michael and Derek exited quickly, allowing the other people waiting to get on. As they walked through the lobby, Derek bumped his shoulder and nodded his head to the left, “come with me.”

Michael, unquestioningly, followed him and was lead to a door that only read, “Private”. He watched as Derek pulled his badge from his pocket and swiped it against the adjacent pad. He opened the door into a nice looking lounge area.

Michael whistled, “this is nice.” He looked around, “am I even supposed to be in here?”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he winked before getting himself something out of the fridge. He threw one to Michael as well.

“Why’d you bring me here?”

“I knew no one else would be in here around this time and it was the most private place I could think of to continue our conversation.”

“So our conversation requires privacy, huh?”

“Well, didn’t really want to the risk having an audience when I asked you out.” Clear. Direct. Straight to the point.

“Wow, you waste no time.” Michael could feel the pull in the muscles in his cheeks from smiling so much.

“I’ve wasted three days, I think that’s more than enough time.”

“So, you’re saying that you would have asked me out that night, if we weren’t interrupted.”

“Absolutely.” Michael couldn’t help but appreciate the conviction in Derek’s tone.

“Well, Derek, I’d love to go out with you.” Michael fished his phone out of his back pocket, handing it to Derek. Derek, catching on, put his number in the phone and called himself so he’d have Michael’s number as well.

“So what are plans looking like next Friday night?” He asked as he handed Micheal back his phone.

“Can’t say that I have anything going on.”

“How about dinner? Around 7? The really good Italian place on 5th?” Derek asked tentatively.

“It’s a date.” -----

#GiveMichaelABoyfriend2k20 😌

#michael grant #athena grant #bobby nash #he looked like a derek okay #bathena #911 #episode filler #this is me trying not to be insecure about my writing #hope you enjoy #fanfic writing hell

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