#ive cried so much already today that even though i want to cry im too dehyrdated to

[ashtraysystem]

Life is feeling really really difficult right now.

I feel exhausted and depressed. I feel horrible about my body; my weight and having major chest dysphoria. like literally all week has been dysphoria. but because of how large my chest is there's really no option that doesnt make me uncomfortable besides getting top surgery which i dont have the resources to do right now.

I cut my hair which helped a tiny bit with my dysphoria. and ive been trying to wear more masculine outfits to help a bit too when im out and about.

[joshriku]

hi!! I saw a rec list of yours where you were like, "i actually have more but some of them are just the real popular ones so im like. Yeah youve read it." -- but I HAVENT!! I'm brand new to cherik and looking for those ultimate recs, those smash hits. could you rec some ultimate cherik fic, if you have the time? i'm not big on fluff but anything too cutesy but otherwise I'm totally open!!! thank you in advance!

hiii :D i would absolutely recommend you to also browse the tag filtering it by kudos because i tend to filter out some things and i also tend to be picky with stuff so there's probably Smashing Hits(tm) i overlooked bc i was like 'nahh im not in the mood today' and my god there are so many good authors and fics that probs go undiscovered by ME. so do make sure you don't miss out on Those Hits

that being said i went through my bookmarks and i'm grabbing those ones with thousands of kudos (bc to me A Lot of Kudos are anything over 100 but i know some cherik fics have liek 5k or more so. i rec going thru the tag fr) so if i repeat myself from the other recs im very sorry but teehee here you go!!!!

these are all like. well. they don't have major trigger warnings or bad endings so enjoy

two lonely souls in a fish bowl by blarfkey: this is really more centered around pietro and erik but the cherik in it is mmmmmwah and also it's jsut so fucking good if you need to scratch that itch of 'damn i wish pietro had told erik he was his dad' like the rest of us. it's so so so good and IT'S A WHOLE SERIES SO CHECK THAT OUT THEY'RE ALL SO GOOOOD.

been there, done that by asyouwish: time loop fic! fucking love that. erik gets stuck in a timeloop before the cuba thing happens. i love seeing littl emen suffer trapped in time

i don't want to wake up on my own anymore by pocky_slash: my bookmark tag here says 'something about erik sleeping' so i reread it and i was like oghggoghg erik sleeping....so YEAH.

orphans of forgetting by pocky_slash: AHGP okay this one's fucking good listen to me. i like men going through emotional trials that fucks them up but gives them an emotionally fulfilling result. this fics good

the pretender by clocks: au where erik fake proposes to charles to get free food. they're still mutants. apparently i bookmarked this one saying 'im going to cry' and now i remember i was jsut really emotional that day and there was no reason to cry as it is a very good and funny fic. help

the whole world wants what we're on by waketosleep: and there was only one bed!

mi casa, su casa by zairaA: i love this one. it's so fun to read. charles moves into his new apartment only to find out erik already lived there. i love this fic.

shalom malakh by zairaa: ive read this oen so many times and only now ive connected the dots that it's the same author. david haller is in this fic. 10/10 showstoppin gi love MY BOYYYYYY !!!!!! but other than that it's so fucking good. what's better than coming back from the dead to haunt ur loved ones AM I RIGHT..

still life with cookies by ren: this one's cute. like a romcom. the pining on this one is so good and enjoyable i liked it so much

a nice boy (the family matters edition) by pocky_slash: IVE RECCED THIS BEFORE. BUT LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO I REREAD IT AND I CRIED SO LIKE HERE IT GOES AGAIN

x marks the spot by the hoyden: i fuckign lvoe this fic. every time i reread it i blink and it's over even though its like 20k words but it's jsut THAT good!!!!

the courtship by danveresque: what's better than canon characters cherik. REINCARNATIPON FICS . fuck my life thsi fic stresse dme out so bad but it was so good. i love it.

never too late to be who you might have been by acetamide: charles and erik wake up in the future (the 2000s timeline movies) and only remember up until what they know before the cuban missile crisis. chaos but also sweet shit :)

tessellation by nekosmuse: i feel like ive mentioned this one before. no MATTER. it's GOOD. IT FUCKS ME UP SO BAD. it does messes with comic canon and also the xmen animated series so it's PERFECT FOR ME and i really do feel it's a classic. liek. 3k kudos should attest for a classic yeah. magneto is a charles xavier enjoyer. they meet. fall in love. Shit Happens. but like it's my favorite.

i think those are all the fics i have that are over 1k kudos long weeps.. again i SUPER encourage you to filter it by kudos when you go the charles/erik tag bc there are SO many fics with SO much content so please enjoy! i accidentally opened the tag and filtered it on august 2021 and i keep going through it. 2 years later yeah. i'm in like page 157 of it. we all make mistakes. but thank you for the ask and i hope you enjoy! :)

[one-abuse-survivor]

im recovering, slowly but its happening, snd its weird. i feel my emotions a lot stronger now, its been around 6 months since i left my parents' house and some days are great, i feel stronger and way more confident than i ever did there, i have an amazing job and i just love life. but there are days where everything is just too much, like today. every part of me hurts on the inside and im just tired. its like my heart aches and my chest has an emotional pain inside of it. my grandad died 4 years ago almost, and i feel like im finally getting the chance to grieve him. every day i miss him more and more and i just want him back. it feels like he died yesterday. my nanan died just over a year ago and i feel like im just processing shes gone. im grieving my grandparents, my parents(who they used to be before they abused me), and my (practically nonexistent) childhood all at once and it just hurts inside. its a hurt that makes me feel alive but i just want it to stop and leave me alone. im hoping this is a normal/regular thing people like me go through, and im also hoping it gets better soon. i know it wont in the near future, i feel all the memories coming back some days and i can only process one or two at a time, and it sometimes frustrates me because i want to get it over with, like ripping a bandaid off, but i just cant, and it has to be done step by step. i just miss my grandparents. a lot. im crying a lot more lately too, just feeling my emotions so much stronger since ive started to truly process my trauma. do they stay this strong or settle down? im triggered pretty easily, which, in time, i hope stops happening so easily. i know recovery is a hard road but im thankful and very grateful that i got the chance to start it so early in life. im 19, moved out at 18, and its a bit hard, just so thankful i have a good therapist 😂 sometimes i just get so angry at everything and want to just hurt myself to make the pain stop, or just feel like i do today, slow and tired and achy. i get the rare amazingly happy day, and make sure i enjoy it, dw hahah but idk i just wanted to vent/say this in hopes of hearing that other people are going through this too, and that im not alone

Hey, nonnie. I'm so glad to hear you're away from your parents and recovering from the abuse and trauma you endured. That's amazing, I'm really happy for you ❤️

Yes, in my experience, it is normal to experience these sort of shifts inside you, especially during the first few years of recovery. I personally also went through phases where I would cry almost daily, phases where my emotions seemed out of control, or where I randomly felt immense grief/anger/sadness/disgust. And I can tell you that, in my case, with the help of time and therapy, the bad days, which used to be frequent and leave me exhausted, have become rare and much more manageable. Now, 5 years into recovery, I can have a bad trauma moment (hell, I can even run into my mother) and still enjoy the rest of my day. And my emotions have become much more stable, too. I rarely feel like I'm not in control of them.

Obviously, not everything is easy or perfect. I still live with PTSD, and there's plenty of things I still need to keep working on, like being vulnerable and trusting others, but... The good days have definitely become the norm over time, instead of the exception. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I had a proper emotional flashback or ugly-cried from how overwhelmed I felt (knocking on wood, haha).

So, yes, nonnie, it does get better with time. Recovery isn't linear—I'm sure you've heard that already—but it does get better. Though there may be ups and downs, and you might go through completely unexpected lows as you process all your emotions, the tendency will be to move upwards, and, if you're anything like me, one day you'll wake up and realise you can't even remember the last time you ugly-cried or felt like the world was ending. You'll just be living your life.

You're doing amazingly! There might still be bad days ahead of you, but there are countless good days to come, too.

I hope you can find ways to safely express your anger with the help of your therapist, and I hope you have the space and tools to process some of your grief and trauma memories as they resurface.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

Oh, and if anyone else wants to reassure anon that they're not alone, feel free to do so!

[iwadori]

When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.

Sakusa:

“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”    

“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.

“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely

“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”

“Ok.”

You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.

“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”

“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing

“Just what?”

“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.

“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.

“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.

“Omi..” you repeated.

“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.  

To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,

“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.

“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.

“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you  

“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious  

“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.

“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,

“Omi answer me,”

“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”

“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.

“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”

“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”

“And those things are?”

“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.

“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”

“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”

“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”

“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”

“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”  

“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”

“Omi bu-”

“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”

“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”

“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.

“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”

“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.

You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.

Bokuto

The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”

When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.  

You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.

So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.  

You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,

“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.

“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”

“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”

As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”

“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.

“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”  

“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”

“No he isnt,” he says

“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.

“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”

“But why why didn’t you call?”

“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”

“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”

“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”

“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.  

That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’

Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.

This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.

If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this

General taglist [bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi, @iimoonii, @hamdehlesmis, @Shoyosupremacy, @iambashfulperson, @kayleighbeccaa, @dearkousei, @bakugouswh0r3, @xedspirits @borpcorp, @soft-angel-clouds, @foxxtrot-116 @Xogiaaa, @jesssobs, @apple-poptarts @galagcica @letssssus, @random-734, [join the taglist here]

[nikrangdan]

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Author's Notes ♡: Hello hello! Here’s my POCuties collab piece for Valentine’s Day. Even though today sometimes makes me feel unloved please know everyone is deserving of love and even if you don’t have someone this year, you can have me! I love you and so do your favs okay? (✿◠‿◠) ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : none! Just very sweet (a bit of the reader feeling like a burden to tamaki so a touch of sadness here and there)

Word count : 2.1k

Paring(s) : Tamaki Amajiki x F! Reader (fem pronouns)

Enjoy ♡

———————————————————————

Forever // T. Amajiki

Being with Tamaki for a few years taught his lover a lot. She saw more sides of him than most, and it made her heart swell to see the usually quiet boy happy and determined when he accomplished something he was trying for or when he was down she knew just how to cheer him up.

As the day drew on she realised just how much she loved him and how much she wished for him to be home, to give him a big kiss as he came through the door, knowing that his day was long, plagued with paperwork and patrols. Hearing the door open she saw her tall boyfriend enter, hood over his eyes as he let out a sigh, stretching as he felt his body being encased by his girlfriend “Hello butterfly how was your day” His low voice spoke out as she gave him a bright smile “It was nice heaving the day off but i missed you Tama” she pouted as he gave her a chuckle, kissing her forehead “I missed you too, the office was a bore without my adorable secretary” Moving into their shared apartment Tamaki saw food already laid out in front of him “I ran you some bath water too” [ ] called out as she rounded the wall separating the kitchen and living room “Y-you didn't have to do that love im-” A finger silenced his pleas “Let me take care of you okay? You need your rest and i didnt want you to worry about anything coming home except relaxing and cuddling with me okay?” [ ] said as she stood on her tippy toes, kissing the top of his cheek “Tamaki Amajiki we have been doing this for years, won't you please let me love you without trying to outdo me ; you deserve it, you're a wonderful hero, you're my hero and eventually...you'll be our family hero..once we have one..” She trailed off as he stared at her, watching a sadden face appear over her features. Shaking it off as soon as it had appeared she gave him another smile “Its alright. There's no rush, i'm here for the long haul , me and you okay?” she said as she let his face go , heading to the couch “Now go go, hurry up before the food gets cold.” She teased as he gave her a soft look, coming over to kiss her cheek “Okay i wont argue butterfly”

These little things stuck with him, her caring ways, cooking for him, cleaning his office while hed be gone, even doing some of his paperwork while he was on parole. He loved her so much and enjoyed all of the little things here and there she did for him. He ddi the same, and each time made her cry, not out of being upset but for how caring he was to her. Bringing her roses, making sure she didnt have to cook if he could help it, spa days and doing more crafts and bonding with her whenever they could. But he realized while she helped him with so much he felt like he struggled. She struggled with her own issues too, similar to his. Sometimes she felt like she wasnt enough, she had her own anxieties and could get in a sup when she felt inadequate, unlovable and unwanted. But to him, to tamaki he loved everything about her, and she was one of the strongest people he knew. He felt motivated and glad to have her as the one he wished to marry , to have kids with, to start a family. But that also broke his heart when the topic came up she did usually didnt talk much about it, happily making plans but going back on them by saying ‘if i was a good mother’ She didnt want to dissapoint their future kids, didnt want to be a lacking mother or wife. As usual Tamaki came home, but htis time he went past the wonderful smelling food in the kitchen and to their bedroom, his cute girlfriend wrapped up in a blanket “How are you feeling butterfly?” He asked as she gave him a smile, reaching over to hug him “Im oaky! Just a bit overwhelmed is all, im sorry i passed out during the meeting..” She said as she gave him a hurt look before continuing “I shouldve tried harder to stay and present with you i-” Before she could finish he gave her a kiss, stopping her words “You needed rest. Im still surprised you got up to cook, did you at least take a nap love?” He asked as she shook her head , causing him to smile “Good. i love you butterfly and i woudnt change that for the world” he said as she smiled, giving him a hug “I’d hope so” She giggled as he pouted “Never doubt my love for you [ ], no matter what im gonna be here, i promise okay?” he said as she nuzzled the boy, kissing his nose “ And i for you Tamaki”

February came in , the happy couple had started up to take more time off to do more things and enjoy eachothers presence in the month of love. As the days went by Tamaki noticed [ ] was having odd days. From sleeping long hours of the day to just crying randomly, he knee something was wrong. Coming from the store he heard sobbing from their bathroom. Terrified , he tried to enter only feeling the door being locked “[ ] baby whats wrong? Can i come in?” with no response he nervously knocked again. “[ ] please...whats wrong” He pleaded as the door unclicked, showing his still beautiful but tear stained cheeked girl. “T-tama..” She cried as she just jumped into his arms, scaring the indigo haired boy “Baby are you okay?” he asked as she took in a breath before smiling sadly “Y-yeah i am..” She said as he picked her up, taking them into the living room. “I love you..and whatever is making you feel like this..if i can help let me okay?” Tamaki said as [ ] shook her head, placing it into his shoulder as they fell asleep.

Every day from her breakdown Tamaki came to her office with a rose, ate lunch with her and made sure she was hydrated and well. Once the week of valentines day came up, he had his plan set in motion. He had their schedules fixed, the week off for themselves as they did different things. A spa day the first day, a picnic the next, shopping at an expensive store for clothes. Then an art day where they drew (or tried to ) eachother and made art fro and about the other. Once the day of Valentines came however, it was different. It started with them taking a shower together, Tamaki cooking breakfast in bead for [ ] as they talked through the morning. Tamaki told her the outfits they ha gotten the days prior was for tonight which gave [ ] the jitters. She was excited for what her pro hero boyfriend had instore for them. Once they got to the restaurant all eys were on them. [ ]’s long black dress falttereed tamakis white suit and black bow tie. The two of them sat and started to eat, coversating with some fans who so happend to be around thwm. One was a small girl with wide hopeful eyes. She came to the couple with her mom in toe “Im so sorry to interrupt you two, my daughter wouldnt let mt husband and me rest until she came over to you guys” the wmoan laughed, causing bothe members to smile “Hello there how are you?” Tamaki asked the girl as she stepped from behind her mother “ H-hi my name is Shiemi a-and i really like you suneater!” The small girl said , causing [ ] , Tamaki and her mom to smile “Why thank you Shiemi, i hope im a good hero for you” Tamaki responded as the little girl shook her head “The best! Youre so cool. A-and your wife is pretty like mama! I like you dress miss suneater” The girl said , causing [ ] to stutter as she sipped her water “O-oh why thank you Shiemi but Im-” before she could continue she saw her boyfriend give the woman and her daughter a wide smile “She is, inst she?” He said as he turned to [ ] , moving from his chair “Tama what are you-” [ ] asked again as he leaned to the little girls ear , then to the mothers as they both gave him a smile, the woman happily shaking her head as her daughter followed the hero. Confused, [ ] watched as he picked the little girl up, putting her atop of the bar table “Hey everyone! Suneater has an announcement!” she yelled as most people turned around or to the table in the middle of the room, watching and smiling at the energetic child and pro hero “In fact I do, [ ] would you mind standing?” Tamaki asked as she gave him a wide eyed look, standing as he gave her a smile, extending and hand to her as she joined his side

“H-hey guys , as you know um..this si my lovely girlfriend and partner [ ]” He started as she gave everyone in the room a wary smile, her face feeling hot as he continued “ Ive known her for years, and weve been dating for some of those, she's seen me through thick and thin, helped me out in a pinch and made me feel like the strongest man alive, well next to almight…” he whispered as some of the people laughed, more paying them attention “And through all of this….i could think of a more beautiful and right person to spend the rest of my life with” And with the the young child handed the now kneeling man a ring as some whooped and hollered, others recording as both [ ] and the girls mother had tears in their eyes “[ ] [ ], the love of my life, my butterfly, i couldnt think of a more beautiful person inside and out to be with, will you give me the honor and make me the happiest man on this earth to be my wife?” He asked as the ring was revealed, diamond glistening as his own tear filled eyes looked to hers. Thinking her voice would fail her she shook her head yes, causing the room to yell as she had her ring put on her finger , jumping to hug her standing fiance as they hugged and cried, video of the engagement spreading as he thought to himself ‘I can now have my family, my endless love with you my dear butterfly’

As their wedding came , all of their friends and family came, including the new found friends of the young Shiemi and her parents. The ceremony went though flawlessly, Shiemi being their flower girl as the newlyweds ran down the easel , heading for their limo as they herded for the reception. The family spoke on how happy they were from their marriage, friends giving their comments on how they knew the couple would get married as the couple laughed at some stories and comments about their relationship. The night ended with so much love and joy for the new couple, startint their life together\

Two years went by before valentines day came again, three years to the day he had proposed arrived. Happily and ready to celebrate Tamaki woke up to his wife missing, hearing her fumble in the bathroom. Heading to the room he was shocked to she her in a disarray , eyes foggy as she met his “Tama...i have a surprised” She said as her teras fell down her face. Confused and still a bit tired , he gave her a look as she handed him a blue and while stick. The word pregnant snapped him awake as more tears started to fall, handing him two and three more all with the same small but powerful word “Im..gonna be a dad?” He asked as she smiled, shaking her head as she hugged the trembling girl “T-tama i'm gonna be a mom..what if i'm not good enough…” She sobbed as he cooed her, kissing her lips as his tears fell with hers “You're gonna be great Butterfly, i promise, you're gonna be so so great” He said as his heart swelled feeling her lips against his ‘This...This is forever , a love i wished for...and i couldn't have asked for more of a way to live my life...i love you butterfly’

[callmepippin]

ok so i was tagged by the lovely @lexiklecksi for the 11/11/11 tag, the rules are: answer the 11 questions she asked me, make up my own 11 questions and then tag 11 ppl to answer those (so if you want you can skip to the questions at the bottom lmao). however as a fair warning: this got Way too long probably bc im rambly today. i tried to limit the stream of consciousness but….

1. current musical obsession: Frank Ocean and related sort of neo-r&b stuff - while writing this im also discovering Childish Gambino’s “Awaken, My Love!” (and also the song Golden Brown, but not bc im listening to it but bc im learning it on both guitar and piano)

2. 3 things i always take with me:

- wallet (or at least my id)

- phone (&earphones)

- cigarettes&lighter

3. what (or who) i miss most in lockdown: i dont rly remember? im so used to the situation by now that i kind of forget to miss what i did when things were “normal”... but i guess going to bars w/ friends, and just being able to go shopping when i need smth

4. pick: either only read 1 book or only read books picked by someone else: i wouldn’t be able to only read one book for the rest of my life! so definitely the second option (esp if i can pick the person who picks the books)

5. why i found your blog/followed you and if i intend to stay: uhh you followed me and when i checked your blog i liked the vibe i guess? also you were v nice in the tags of my music stuff! also ya i like it here, so im staying for a while

6. when and why did i last cry: i genuinely dont know for sure.. the last time i specifically remember crying was my granddad’s funeral, which is three yrs ago this month, but i do know ive cried once or twice since then, i just dont remember for sure when and why.

wait i do remember, i think the last time was when i saw Richard Says Goodbye (live music and movies or books are basically the only reason i rly cry, im not an emotional crier, dont know why).

7. who holds the key to my heart: my partner of five (and a bit) years, whom i love Very Much! (although ofc my heart is not locked, i have so much love to give, just romantically i am very much taken)

8, pick one: star wars/star trek, dobby/gollum, white/black magic, flying/teleportation, time travel: past/future?

- Star Wars

- Gollum (even though i have read hp but still havent read lotr, ive read the hobbit like 4 times tho)

- i think the hard dichotomy btwn white/black magic or like light/dark and good/bad in most fiction is often v flawed bc thats not how the world works, everything is grey areas (e.g. the Jedi are not better than the Sith, both have deeply flawed philosophies). the Force (or any magic for that matter) is not inherently good or evil, it just is. nature isnt abt good or evil, isnt abt opposites but abt balance.

and especially if you work with the occult and magical, i think thats all abt walking the edge between light and dark, life and death, night and day, good and bad etc…

so to answer the question: grey magic lmao, its all abt balance

- teleportation i think, bc while flying is very cool, i think teleportation has more practical uses (although also has danger involved, such as what happens if you teleport into a space that is already occupied by a person or an object? but for the sake of argument, prolly teleportation)

- do not even get me started on time travel.. the implications of time travel to the past are…… complicated to say the least (it only works if you believe in hard determinism, which i wholly do not). so in a practical sense, def to the future (although that is also Problematic within the constraints of our four-dimensional universe/experience).

in a philosophical sense though, ignoring all the paradoxes and laws of time and space, id still pick the future (or maybe no time travel at all), bc i think the past is the past for a reason. we remember it, we learn from it, but ultimately we must leave it behind.

my philosophical problem with traveling to the future is more that you cant just. skip life. so if you travel to the future, it has to be way beyond your own life and direct influence, or youll interfere with yourself and your own future, and thats scientifically, psychologically /and/ philosophically a v bad idea all round, i think.

9. which thoughts keep me awake at night: almost never specific thoughts, but quite often anxiety abt the near future. but theres no like, lingering issues that keep me awake.

10. what id do with you if we were locked up together for 24hrs: i think i’d really like to write with you! make poetry, song lyrics, make art! bc we could rly learn from each other i think and also we could just rly pick each others brain abt mundane, important and transcendental stuff ya know?

11. ask anything: do you have concrete, long term plans for the future, maybe even backup plans? a clear vision of how the rest of your life is going to go? or are you more the type to do what makes you happy now and figure it out as you go along?

my own questions (large variation in vibes and weight, i know):

describe your favourite colour using other senses (like what sound, smell, feeling or w/e do you associate with it)

what’s the best thing that happened to you in the last week, last month and last year?

what’s the one thing/what are the things that help(s) you get up in the moring and keep putting one foot in front of the other?

are you a leftie? (warning: there is a correct answer)

do you play/have you ever played a musical instrument? (and for the sake of completeness, yes i am counting singing as well)

do you have one thing (e.g. a song, movie, book or smth else) that never fails to bring you joy?

do you have one (or more) person(s) you feel you could still hit up after ten yrs of radio silence and you’d still vibe?

what’s your favourite song lyric/line from a poem/quote? and why?

who was your first celebrity crush? (if you’ve ever had one obvsly)

what’s smth you’re looking forward to? could be specific, could be a general thing like a driver’s licence or your own apartment or w/e

this one is specifically to feed my curiosity, indulge me: why did you follow me?

congrats, you’ve managed to reach the end! again, very sorry for the rambles, thanks for sticking around. im tagging @alt-heidi, @terdiscussie, @a-soul-to-cling-to, @ontvreemd, @sarahhnghae and i guess whoever fuckin feels like it? i literally can’t think of 11 ppl on this hell site, so if i forgot you its not personal. if we’re mutuals you’re especially tagged.

[babysizedfics]

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

[violetnotez]

You’ll Be Okay- Todoroki x Reader

@sizzlingbarbarianglitter: Could you do a one-shot with Shoto where the reader is usually all cheery and enthusiastic, but after a mysterious phone call she seems kind of down the entire day.. finally during hero training she kind of loses it and Todoroki comforts her. 

Hello anon, thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy this and *cough cough this request made me realize my absolute love for writing for Todoroki and him being a soft boy

Anyways, sending lots of love to you and I hope you like this :)

-----------------------------

Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Angst to Fluffy 

Word Count: 1460

One Shot

(RULES | MASTERLIST COMING SOON| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

“Good save Ochaco!” you yelled encouragingly, preparing yourself for the next toss.

Today was a rare free day in class, and instead of sparring against each other like all of Baku Squad was doing, you and Dekusquad has decided to play a game of “Quirk” volleyball.

It was exactly the same way volleyball is played, except quirks were allowed, which made it 10 times more interesting. You were playing Boys Against Girls, with Todoroki, Izuku, and Iida on one side and Ochaco, Froppy, and you on the other.

The game was coming to a fierce end, with you both tied for the last point. Todoroki turned to look at you, panting slightly in the hot afternoon sun as you high fived Ochaco for giving you guys the tying point. For as long as he could remember, he had always admired your outgoing and optimistic attitude. The whole game you had been playing hard, and he couldn’t help but notice how pretty you looked in the afternoon sun, your shirt clinging to you slightly-

“Hey Todoroki, don’t be getting tired on me just yet!” you yelled with a tired grin, mistaking his staring at you as zoning out.

He shook his head, the tips of his bangs damp from sweat. 

He looked down quickly, feeling so dumb for allowing himself to stare at you so unchecked like that- he was usually so good at keeping his crush on you form plain sight.

You took the ball from Uraraka’s outstretched hands, not noticing Todoroki’s blushing expression and preparing to serve the ball up, all the boy’s preparing for your serve. They knew you’d been holding back this whole game to preserve your extremely powerful quirk- most likely to use it for this very moment. They watched your very move, twitching from nervousness.  Todoroki admired how calm you looked, as if you had no care in the world. You brought the ball up, preparing to use your quirk to hit a powerful blow to the other side-

You felt the power in your arms diminish instantly, staring at your hand confused.

“Mr. Aisawa,” Froppy greeted your angsty teacher, “is everything all right?”

Mr. Aisawa walked over in your direction, making eye contact with your tired yet smiling expression.

“Yes, Froppy, everything is fine,” he stated plainly, “Y/n, if you’d come with me, your parents are calling you from the front office.”

You felt your heart drop-was something wrong?

Todoroki noticed your body stiffen slightly, your smile becoming slightly less bright.

“Of course sir,” you replied, giving your friends a quick “Goodbye” as you walked with your teacher.

They all stared at you and Mr. Aisawa walk away, the game of volleyball forgotten.

“I wonder what’s going on with y/n,” Ochaco thought out loud, concern on her face.

“Hopefully it’ll be fast, so we can finish our game,” Froppy added, walking under a tree to cool off.

Izuku and Iida followed Froppy, thinking of something else to do until you came back.

Todoroki stared at the lonely ball on the floor, worried for you. He saw your whole demeanor change, something none of the group saw- he knew you were dealing with something and didn’t want to say anything. After weeks of watching you from afar, he knew how you acted, and that wasn't typically you. 

Deku and Iida had decided to spar lightly while Uraraka and Froppy stretched, Todoroki leaning against the shaded tree, deep in thought. 

How was he going to talk to you? He wanted to ask you so badly how you were feeling- he wanted his cheerful y/n back. He hated seeing you like that, just pretending to be happy. He would do anything to get back that beautiful smile of yours, the one that was always so spontaneous and took him off guard in the best way possible.

He was usually not much of a talker, and never shied away from what he was thinking- but with you, it was harder. He wanted to say everything exactly right, but everything he thought of sounded exactly wrong. 

You came back 10 minutes later, your shoulders slumped as if you were carrying a huge weight on your shoulders, your head bent down.

“Y/n!” Ochaco cried your name happily, not noticing your defeated posture

Todoroki turned his head quickly, already noticing your change- to him, it was so obvious, even as you gave Midoriya a smile as he handed you the volleyball.

Everyone went back to their original places in the game that had ended  a few minutes before, the boys again twitching in anticipation as they watched your every move. Todoroki, most of all, was taking careful care to watch your movements-You weren’t smiling and you weren’t relaxed- your face was preoccupied as you looked down at the ball, your lashes fluttering as you blinked too many times. You sighed, looking up, serving the ball without using your quirk- taking all the boys by surprise. 

The game began again, the shouts and grunts of the competition filled the air, you and Todoroki not fighitng as hard as your teammates. You were preoccupied with keeping your emotions at bay, while Todoroki continued to worry over you.

Iida hit the ball your way, and noticing it too late, you feably went to hit, it going out of bounds and giving the boys the winning point. Strangely, nobody cheered about the victory, knowing it really wasn’t a true win. You were usually always so focused and competitive in games, making sure you gave it your all.  Todoroki was convinced something was wrong, even as you smiled and stated jokingly that you would beat them next time. He was going to get to the bottom of this and make sure you you were okay.

Todoroki waited until he felt was the right time to talk. All his friends were relaxing on the bleachers of the Track course, you sitting a few seats in front of them, staring at the mountains and hugging your elbows, not engaging in the conversation.

Were you intentionally isolating yourself from the others?

He walked down, his heart racing slightly and his hands shoved in his pockets, sitting next to you without a word. 

“Hi Todo”, you smiled weakly, using your nickname for him as your voice wavered slightly. He nodded, his nerves making him mute- he was never this alone and this close to you before. He noticed you hastily brush your cheeks with your hand, a sign you were holding back tears.

He cleared his throat nervously, asking, “Are-are you okay?”

He grimaced, hearing how unintelligent he made himself sound- of course you weren’t okay! You were clearly dealing with something, and he responded with nothing that was comforting or helpful. He made himself sound indifferent and if he just noticed your demeanor when he noticed all day. He internally wished he could kick himself for sounding so foolish when you responded with a sniffle.

“Its that noticeable huh?” you chuckled weakly, your voice hitching. “Im really sorry if Ive been...moody...I ddint mean to mess up the game or make you guys sad...I just-”

You shoulders began to shake the more you talked, and the more you talked, the less emotion you could control. You began tearing up, the tears trickling down your skin.

Todoroki instantly tended to comfort you, crouching in front of you instead of sitting beside you. He didnt know really what to do, except that he needed to comfort you. He rested his hand on your knee, hoping that by doing that, you would know that he was there for you. He waited until the tears subsided a little, you tear soaked face smiling down at him, making his heart stop.

How were still so beautiful when crying?

“Im so sorry Shouto, I didnt mean to-” you began.

“You dont have to apologize for anything, y/n,” he reassuring replied, “emotions are natural and it isnt healthy to keep them bottled up. 

I-” He gulped, hoping the next thing he said wouldn't reveal too much about how he truly felt about you. “I noticed all day you weren’t yourself. You weren’t as cheerful after you arrived back from the office. It pains me seeing you upset,y/n, it truly does.”

He looked up at you, his cheeks on fire but his face still strong and steady like the Todoroki you know and love.

You looked at him, your heart fluttering and skipping a beat. You found it cute and endearing, even though you felt slightly guilty for making him worry.

He reached up, his hand shaking slightly as he wiped a tear from your cheeck, pushing a strand of hair out of your vision so he can see even more of your face that he found gorgeous.

You smiled at him, and this time, he knew it was a true smile that he loved so much.

------------------

Requests open! <3

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 22

A/N - So this is the last part my lovelies! (Well there will be an Epilogue) i just want to thank everyone who has kept with this til the end and for all the love you’ve shown. 💕

"Buck, i cant stop looking at them" i smiled down at my two boys laying side by side in the hospital cot.

"I know, their perfect" he beamed before turning and kissing me "you did so good baby"

"I didn't do anything, i didn't even know what was going on!" I chuckled, when they took me down to the OR the babies heart rates dropped suddenly and they had to give me a general anaesthetic and get them out quick.....when i woke up again i had my two boys.

"You did everything! You carried them for the last... what, 8 months? You've kept them safe and healthy"

"I guess i did do that, I've got the stretch marks to prove it" i rolled my eyes.

"we still need names, we can't just keep calling them 'the boys' you know"

"Mmmhmm okay but can we talk about it after i sleep?" I asked covering my mouth as i yawned.

"Sure doll, you get some sleep"

"You'll watch them?"

"Of course, Steve will probably be in here in a minute he was so excited" Bucky shook his head and laughed.

"Okay, Just let me sleep for an hour and wake me up okay?"

"You got it".

When i woke up again i looked over to see Bucky sat with his eyes closed, both boys sleeping on his chest. He wasn't asleep just resting his eyes, his thumbs gently stroking over their tiny legs as they slept soundly. It was the most beautiful sight ive ever seen, i couldnt help but reach for my phone and snap a photo.

Yes im gonna be that mom who takes photo's of everything! Don't judge me!

"What are you doing?" He asked opening one eye and looking at me suspiciously.

"Taking a photo of my boys" i smiled "i told you to wake me up in an hour Buck, how long did i sleep? Its dark out!"

"4/5 hours" he shrugged casually "enjoy it while you can doll, you wont sleep well for a while"

"Unless they take after their mama and like their sleep too? God i hope they do!"

"Their gonna need a feed, you feeling up to it?"

"Yeah".

Bucky got up and carefully passed me one of the twins while he kept the other close to his chest and sat back down.

"His so tiny.... i feel like i'm gonna break him" i said as i lowered my gown and tried to get the baby to latch onto my breast "He latched on straight away.... oh my god this is so weird..."

"Thats my boy" Bucky winked making me laugh quietly so i didn't disturb the baby.

"So names..... i was thinking Steven and Samuel as middle names? Both of them are important to us" i said looking down at the baby in my arms.

"I love that idea, they'll love that too"

"Is Steve gonna Cry?"

"Probably" Bucky chuckled knowing what his friend was like.

"Okay and first names?"

"How about Thomas....After your dad? I know you miss him" Bucky suggested.

"I really do, i wish my mom and dad were here to see this" i quickly wiped a tear away "Thomas Samuel Barnes?"

"I like it doll"

"Me too" i smiled looking down at the larger of the boys in my arms "i think this is Thomas"

"Okay and now for this little man"

"How did we not decide on names before today?" I shook my head.

"Because we've had our hands full with the girls and Jack's case.... we thought we had more time" Bucky shrugged before getting up and switching out the babies.

"I don't really know what names i like"

"Me either, i didn't think it would he this hard to name them" i said as i got comfy with the next baby.

"You know just before the girls went to bed i heard Allie talking to the bump again.... how do you feel about Theodore?" I asked raising an eyebrow questioningly "thats what she called one of them.... we could call him Theo or Teddy for short?"

"Theodore Steven Barnes? It kinda works" he nodded "for the record i'll probably never call him Theodore"

"It doesn't surprise me babe, the girls rarely get called by their full names either"

"Thats true"

"So are we agreed?"

"I think we are" he grinned as he got settled with Thomas again.

"Did Steve come see them while i was sleeping?"

"Yeah but only for 10 minutes, i didn't want to disturb you.... plus visiting hours where nearly up. His coming back up later with the girls though, then his gonna take them home and watch them til we're aloud to go home"

"Sounds perfect, i miss my girls already"

"Im sure their missing you too"

"Their probably too busy with Auntie Becca to care" i smiled over at Bucky who was shaking his head.

"Okay Teddy is done, can you take him please.... i think i need some more pain relief"

"Sure doll" he laid Thomas in the cot and took Teddy from me before sitting back down to winding him.

I held a hand to my stomach and winced as i pressed the call button for the nurse.

"Your gonna be feeling that for a while doll, your gonna have to take it easy too. Let me help you with things"

"I'll be fine...."

"You will take it easy and let yourself heal"

"But Bucky you cant look after the girls and newborn twins on your own! I can't just sit around and do nothing...."

"You can and you will, Ive already spoken to Steve and his gonna come stay with us until your better"

"Okay, its not like he isn't always there anyway. I sometimes wonder if he actually lives with us and i just don't know about it"

"You don't mind that Steve's around alot do you?"

"Course not, i love Steve"

"Good, you'd tell me if you had a problem with it?"

"You know i would"

"Ms Y/L/N, how you feeling?" One of the nurses smiled as she walked into the room.

"I need something for the pain, other than that im good" i smiled at her.

"Okay lets see what i can do about that".

It was about an hour later when Steve walked in with Becca and the girls.

Steve came straight over to me and placed a kiss on the top of my head, Rosie was cuddled up to him but held her arms out to me as he leaned down.

He let her down to lay beside me and she instantly cuddled up to me.

"Hey mama, how you feeling?" Steve asked.

"Im doing okay, sore.... but its worth it"

"Their beautiful" he nodded looking down into the cot beside me we're they both slept.

"Congratulations you guys, their beautiful" Becca smiled hugging Bucky before getting a closer look at the babies.

Brooke and Allie stood with Bucky looking down at Thomas and Teddy.

"Girls, these are your baby brothers" Bucky said quietly to them and they smiled.

"Their so tiny"

"What are their names?" Allie asked turning to look at Bucky.

"Well this one, this is Thomas" he pointed to the bigger twin "and this is Theodore" he pointed to the smaller one, Allie gasped and looked up at me.

"I knew it!.... i knew that was his name!"

"Okay can i hold one now?" Steve asked practically bouncing on the spot making us laugh at him.

"Sure Steve, hey Buck why don't you let him hold Teddy first?"

"Sure doll" he carefully lifted Teddy and placed him in Steve's arms "this is Theodore...."

"I know that Y/N just said so"

"Theodore Steven Barnes"

"What!? Are you serious?" He said his eyes going wide.

"Yeah pal"

"Guys...." he said with tears in his eyes "i dont know what to say"

"Told you he would cry" Bucky chuckled and Steve gave his his best bitch face.

"If i wasn't holding Teddy id kick your ass"

"Yeah whatever pal"

"Language! Uncle Steve!" Brooke said with wide eyes as she turned to look at him.

"You said a bad word Uncle Stevie!" Allie added making us all laugh.

"Yeah Uncle Steve you said a bad word! Don't be saying bad language words around my kids"

"God your such a mom already"

"Y/N?" Allie said walking over to the side of my bed.

"Yeah babe?"

"Does this mean your our mom too?"

I looked over at Bucky who shrugged with a smile, i knew he was telling me it was my choice what i told her.

"Yeah Allie, i'm your mom too..... if you'll have me?"

"Really??" Brooke asked coming to stand beside Allie.

"Yeah"

"And... can we call you mom?"

"You can if you want to, whatever your comfortable with" i smiled brushing a piece of hair back from her face.

"Im gonna call you mom" Allie said casually before running back to her dad who was smiling as he listened to our conversation.

"You guys are gonna make me cry again" Steve said sniffling from the chair in the corner.

"I think i might join in this time too" Becca added quickly wiping a tear from her face.

After spending the longest two days in the hospital the boys and i were finally aloud to go home. It was the best feeling being back home, knowing i had Bucky and all my babies under one roof and plus Bucky and Steve had been amazing.

They wouldn't let me do much though.....They'd even carry me upstairs!! I was now managing to walk around by myself, slowly, but i was on the mend.

Sam and Wanda came to visit us the day we got home, Sam had actually cried when we told him Thomas's middle name.... even though he tried to hide it.

Wanda had sat cooing at the twins for hours and saying how much she couldn't wait to meet her little bundle of joy.

I was sat in bed just finishing the feeds, Bucky was next to me holding Teddy, the girls were asleep on the bottom of the bed, we'd been watching Aladdin and they had all fallen asleep halfway through. I smiled as Aladdin and Jasmine were singing about 'A Whole New World' realising my whole world was in this room, i never thought id be this happy.

"You okay doll? You seem a million miles away" Bucky asked pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Yeah, just thinking about how lucky i am that i met you. You've made me the happiest woman in the world Buck.... you gave me 3 beautiful girls and my handsome boys, who already look so much like their daddy by the way!" Bucky chuckled as he laced his free hand with mine "i love you baby"

"I love you too, i couldn't ask for a better mama for our kids" he smiled bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing my fingers "marry me?"

"What??...." i looked at him with wide eyes "did you just...."

"Yeah" he nodded with a huge smile on his face "make me the happiest man in the world and say yes?"

"Are you sure...? I mean i dont want you asking just cause we're having a moment...."

"Doll, this isn't just me being in the moment i promise" he said leaning over to the drawer in his bed side cabinet. When he turned back to me he had a black velvet box in his hand "ive had this for a while, i was just waiting for the right time"

"Buck...." i gasped feeling my heart racing as he opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring id ever seen.

"What do you say doll? will you marry me?"

"Yes!! A hundred times yes!" I smiled with happy tears as he slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed me.

"Its you and me doll, always"

"I think i'm okay with that".

Home taglist: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014

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[shhh-no-ones-home]

married with children ryan sitkowski x reader

+++++++++

title: they get married, ryan acts like a child when drunk lol

beginning is super cute and sweet but per usual things go awry pretty quickly lmfao

Song: with or without you by U2

@musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @bleed-to-make-amends

+++++++++

he had never even thought about marriage. when this all started he wanted nothing to do with it. we both knew we were in for the long haul but he didnt care about tying the knot and he told me that, right from square one. i went back to that moment over and over again throughout our entire relationship, never once doubting him or questioning it. it wasnt for everyone after all. i went over it in my mind again and again when he actually proposed to me. i was so happy i cried as soon as he started talking, telling me how much he loved me and how much i meant to him as he got down on one knee. and now im going over it again as im standing in front of a tall mirror, my best friend helping me put my veil into my hair. i stared at myself and my red puffy eyes from crying with my mother earlier as i got my dress on.

half of me wondered if he had cried yet today too, it was an emotional event after all. i guess id just have to find out later. i heard a knock at the door, turning my attention to it as my mother half opened the door. she sighed in relief before opening it fully and letting my dad in. my friend helped me off the pedestal and put my veil down, handing me my bouquet as my father took my arm in his.

"you look absolutely beautiful."

he said, making me smile as we walked out of the room.

"thanks daddy."

i said as i watched the wedding party descend down the stairs. we had chosen to have a small wedding party, a maid of honor and a best man only, with a flower girl and a ring bearer. we didnt want anything crazy and only invited close friends and family. the reception would be bigger however, more of a gathering than the actual ceremony. i breathed deeply as i heard the wedding bells ring through the church, oh what it took to actually get him to do this in a church. i clutched onto my fathers arm as we began the long walk to the alter. all eyes were on me and i felt uncomfortable at first but as soon as i looked at him i couldnt stop and their gazes didnt matter anymore.

i was smiling like an idiot as a tear slid down my cheek, he looked so happy standing between the priest and aj. as we got close to the alter the butterflies slowly ebbed. i was marrying my best friend, i had nothing to worry about anymore. i could see him more clearly now as aj nudged his arm and handed him a handkerchief. he was crying too, which made me laugh a little bit. he stepped down as my father offered my hand to him which he gladly took.

"take care of her."

he whispered and ryan nodded, taking me to the alter and facing the priest. I couldn't help but smile, only hearing half the words he said as I tried to sneak quick glances over at Ryan before we could face each other. He looked so handsome in his suit, the rose pinned to his lapel a nice shade of lavender. This almost felt like a dream.

°°°°°°°°°

As the music played I held onto Ryan for dear life. It was the first dance after all and I felt so uncomfortable being the only couple on the dance floor as we swayed back and forth. the alcohol we had been consuming so far didnt really help, despite my hope that it would. He still had that wide smile plastered across his face though.

"I don't know if I told you this already but you look beautiful today."

He said, making me smile back at him. Then I saw a flash, noticing the photographer.

"You're not so bad yourself Mr Sitkowski."

I felt his thumb rub gently into my side.

"Thank you, Mrs Sitkowski."

he quipped back. I couldn't help the blush creeping its way up my neck and to my face.

"I'm so glad we finally decided to do this ry."

I said, looking at him longingly. I watched as he scanned my face.

"So am I. I know I said a thousand years ago that I wouldn't ever do this but I'm beyond proud to call you my wife now."

i smiled widely at him as we swayed back and forth in a small circle, the music playing in the background.

"im not gonna lie, i was shocked but i think this is the best thing ive ever done. you really are my best friend."

he leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine as the music slowed and people clapped.

"im so glad i get to spend the rest of my life with you."

°°°°°°°°°

i sat down into the bench with a loud sigh, looking over to ryan who had just done the same. my dress was flowing over onto his lap but he didnt push it away. i looked over to him and smiled.

"we made it."

i said through a laugh, him sending me a wide smile back.

"the wedding and reception are over with, now all we have to do is make it official."

he said boldly, raising his brows and leaning closer to me. i shook my head amused and pushed him away.

"i think it can wait for the honeymoon tomorrow, you are pretty plastered after all."

he pouted at me, his arms making their way around my waist loosely.

"can i at least get a kiss?"

he said with pleading eyes. i rolled my eyes but caved immediately.

"fine, but dont get any ideas big boy."

i said, pecking him quickly on the lips. he tasted like a mixture of alcohols but the most noticeable was the red wine.

"is everything taken care of?"

he asked, staring at me. i looked up to our relatives walking around the venue packing things up and nodded.

"it is being taken care of as we speak ry."

i said and he nodded, readjusting his grip on my body and resting his head against my shoulder.

"thats good."

he said through a sigh. i looked down at him as he watched everyone. then my brother came into view, the box with the punch bowl in it tucked under his arm.

"the car is almost ready if you two wanna go now."

i nodded, tapping ryans arm.

"you ready ry?"

i asked and he sat up, looking at me confused.

"ready for what?"

i laughed a little bit.

"to go, baby, its time to leave."

he smiled at me and nodded.

"oh, then yeah."

he stood up quickly, pulling me with him. i held his hand tightly so he wouldn't wander off as we followed my brother outside the venue.

"are we going home?"

he asked, looking around before patting his pants with his free hand.

"baby we cant, my keys are gone."

i kept pulling him forward.

"my brother has your keys, hes the one taking us home and the one taking us to the airport tomorrow."

he made an 'o' shape with his mouth as we made it to the car. my brother opened the backseat door and ryan climbed in head first, laying down and tucking his legs in. i shook my head in amusement as peter closed the door.

"thanks again for doing this. it really does mean a lot."

i said as he opened the hatch to put the bowl in the already packed car.

"oh, yeah, i wouldnt pass up an opportunity like this one."

he said through a laugh and i shook my head, smiling at him.

"hes not usually this much of a handful but if i were given one day to party like the end of the world id take it too."

he sent me a knowing look.

"you couldve, if i remember correctly that champagne made its way to you a few times."

i scoffed at him as he opened the passenger door for me.

"who wants to get drunk off champagne? either way, one of us has to be the responsible one. ill just have him make it up to me by carrying my drunk ass home some time during our honeymoon."

i said with a wink. he shook his head at me before closing the door.

"i can hear you ya know."

ryan said from the back, making me jump.

"jesus ry!"

i said, clutching my chest. he sent me a lazy smile as he sat up, placing his head on the shoulder of the seat.

"i just want you to know that i will gladly carry your ass anywhere."

i laughed a little to myself before turning and pecking him gently on the lips.

"thanks ry, that means a lot."

he nodded once, proudly, to himself before falling back into the seat.

"i love you after all. what kind of husband would i be if i didnt."

i looked at him in the rearview mirror, a lazy smile plastered on his face as he toyed with his wedding ring happily. in that moment i knew, he really did mean it. it was enough to make me melt inside, and i wouldve cried had pete not been in the process of getting in the car. i turned back to him, him looking at me with the proudest look on his face.

"i love you too ry,"

i reached back and patted his knee gently.

"now lets go home."

[brightlightinadarkworld]

Song lyrics

Even though I am a believer I try and keep my posts pretty neutral, That being said this one is not that, this one is 100% a Christian post and while I really would love for nonbelievers to read I just want to be upfront and honest before you start reading something. 

Now that that’s been said lets get to it

I heard a song that I haven’t heard in a few years and it really HIT me hard, 

There is just something about music that really paints a picture, some songs the artist paints a picture for you with the lyrics its hard to see anything else, but others they take you back to where you were when you heard them, who you listened to them with and things like this, 

Anybody else ever hear a song and just break down into tears because of the place it takes your mind? 

As tough as I like to think I am there are a couple that get me literally every time

Holes in the floor of heaven and you should be here 

get me  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 

You would think I would learn to just hit skip when they come on but I just can’t seem to, in fact sometimes when I’m upset and missing those who have passed away I put them on…… on purpose ( I know sad and a little crazy sounding) but while I cry listening to them they almost put my brain at ease for a moment, these songs remind me that 

My angels are still with me and I will see them again one day

Other people struggle with this same thing! (IT IS NORMAL TO BE SAD SOMETIMES! Just don’t stay there)

They remind me of the people I love so dearly and that kinda makes me happy knowing their memory is still so alive in my heart. 

While this song hit me just as hard, it wasn’t sad! It was one of those times where I know God just has to have a sense of humor, it was like he just wanted to say “ DUH JEN IM RIGHT HERE, I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU FAIL “ 

Remember those series of unfortunate events I briefed on in my last post ( if you don’t pause here and go check out the last mental health post, not that you will learn about the events I just really want you to read that one too! ) 

Anyway I’ve been praying every day about them and repeating that same phase over and over THINGS. WONT. STAY .BAD .FOREVER.

And then these song lyrics just came to my mind, and like I said I haven’t heard the song in YEARS . And I don’t know about y’all but when a song lyric gets stuck in my head the only way to get it out is to go listen to it, so that’s exactly what I did. 

Want to know those lyrics….

“ Saw a flower growing in the middle of a sidewalk

Pushing up through the concrete

Like it was planted right there for me to see

The flashing lights the honking horns all seemed to fade away

In the shadow of that hospital at 5:08

I saw God today”

One of the things that really helps my mental state like I’ve mentioned before is to find a positive , if you are a nature lover like myself, take a moment, go for a walk, take a deep breath and look around, look at the flowers blooming, look how beautiful the sunset looks, look at the animals around you. How beautiful is nature, and as beautiful as nature is and as much as you love those things you found… GOD LOVES YOU! The same God that made those BEAUTIFUL flowers and sunsets thought of you and how much the world needed your beauty !

Then for my country music fans you already know the lyrics that come next but for those of you that maybe haven’t heard this song …

“ Ive been to church

Ive read the book

I know he’s here but I don’t look 

Near as often as I should 

Yeah I know I should

His fingerprints are everywhere 

I just slow down to stop and stare 

Opened my eyes and man I swear

I saw God today “

How true is this statement y’all? How many of you consider yourselves christians but have not stepped into a church in years ( not that you have to to be a christian ) when was the last time you opened your bible? How many of you are like me ( and maybe I’m alone in this, honestly I hope I am) and fell into depression during the pandemic? How many of you cried and asked God WHY , or to help get you out of this depression, or said I don’t understand why I am so sad? But didn’t take the extra time to get lost in his Word, or even in his creation?

Im going to admit that before my wreck I was not an every Sunday church goer, I’m also going to admit that still to this day I do not read my bible enough! And that’s okay , You don’t have to do those things to be saved or to be a good christian HOWEVER, 

Im gonna let you guys know, GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS ! He listens and he often will show you the answers to things you are looking for when you give him the time to.

If you give him the chance God will change your life! All he wants is a relationship with you. 

The point of these blogs are not to be condeming ever ( trust me I’m guilty of these things too or they wouldn’t come to me to talk about ) 

But they are  just to share with you guys. 

I hope this message touched someone like it did me and anyone looking to get involved with a great church I will save you a seat any Sunday (: 

Remember the positive is always there you just have to look a little harder sometimes to find the JOY in the JOurneY.

[naveenscrackwhore]

Crumbling Down

Summary: All around the hospital rumors are being spread of how an Attending and Resident are in a relationship. Those rumors happen to be about Ethan Ramsey and Cecily Aldaine. What does this mean for the two of them? What will happen to them? 

word count: 2014

A/N: hi! im sorta new to writing but ive been inspired by so many amazing writers to write this. i hope you all enjoy this! it took me a bit to get the confidence to post but should i make this a series? tell me in the comments below :)

Cecily blankly stared at her trembling hands, attempting to concentrate on Ethan’s voice. She could barely hear him though, no matter how hard she tried to focus. Soon, all she could hear was her own blood chaotically rushing all throughout her body and the sharp throbbing pain of her head. Her eyes became cloudy and her vision foggy. She felt her lips tremble along with her short legs. She became weaker and weaker by the moment, any moment now her legs will give up and she’d collapse to the floor with a thud. Cecily continued to breathe in and out. Shutting her eyes close, she counted with the beating of her heart. She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled out. One. She repeated it, her hands slowly started to shake less. Two. Again, she sucked in another breath and held it for a few moments before forcing it all out and quickly opened her eyes. Three. Cecily was finally back in reality. 

She snapped her gaze back at Ethan, his tan, veiny hands grasped onto his brunette and faint grey streaked hair, his grip hard enough to rip out chunks of it. A nervous and frustrated habit of his. She observed the way his brows furrowed and two straight lines formed on top of it. His sky blue eyes shut tightly as he spoke frantically. Cecily could also notice the slight wrinkles forming at the corners. Her eyes followed his long leg when he continued to pace around the room, another nervous habit of his. Words were rushing out of his mouth and his voice was growing louder and louder,- a part of her was pretty sure, the whole hospital heard them. He opened his light blue eyes and their eyes met. His eyes boring into her deep green ones. It felt as if he was staring right through her skull, invading her privacy and seeing all of her secrets. Sometimes, she thought of him as a parasite or a disease manifesting through her. But that's not very romantic.

She felt something boil and rise in her. Cecily was always a friendly, nice person and she rarely was confrontational. Sure, she might be outgoing and ‘outrageously,’ enthusiastic and energetic most of the time. The woman always tried her best to never confront anyone unless she was extremely angry at them for a valid reason. She always hated arguments but she’s recently found herself to be in a lot more since she started her career at Edenbrook. Breaking out of her thoughts and her murderous glares, she stomped towards him and halted right in front of Ethan. 

“Ethan, I don’t care about my career as much as I care about you!” Cecily passionately argued back at him, her fight or flight mode switching on. She was now close to him, her fingers aggressively poked at his chest as she looked up at him. “You never ask me what I want! This is exactly what happened last year in Miami! You always tell me how I should feel and ignore my feelings! You’re literally impossible!” 

She huffed at her swooped bangs and stared him down. Raking her hand through her long blonde locks, she gave in. With a long sigh, Cecily's body lightly pressed against his as she  cupped one side of his face with her hand while the other tucked the loose curl behind his ear. “I- I care about you Ethan more than you can ever imagine. I don’t care where I am at in five years if you’re not there with me.” 

Ethan’s hands settled on the curve of her small back, supporting her from falling. They stared into each other's eye longingly as Ethan took a few moments to process what she said. He hesitantly leaned down as she stepped on her tippy toes, her freckled nose bumping with his.. Neither broke eye contact as their lips ever-so slightly brushed against each other. But before Cecily could even press her lips harder against his, Ethan pulled away and turned so she couldn’t see him drag his hand up his face.

“Ethan?” Cecily stepped closer to him, her hand gently touching his shoulder.” Are you oka-.” 

The moment didn’t last long as Ethan whipped himself to face her, lightly smacking her hand away from him. She stared at him, her mouth slightly open and her eyes slightly more big. He drew in a breath as he growled, “Dr. Aldaine, I care about my career much more than I’ll ever care about you.”

Cecily paled, she didn’t move, she almost was frozen. She felt her mouth become and her hands became unsteady again. Her sea green eyes moved away from him as she glanced at his desk. Her heart dropped low to her stomach and it felt like she couldn’t breathe, again. She rested her hands on her neck as she anxiously rubbed it. Tears were threatening to spill but she resisted the sensation that eventually would take over. After what felt like an eternity, she tumbled through her words, “Oh, um.. Sick. Right, okay.”

“I’ll be on my way, I have to get some scans for my patient. Goodbye, Doctor. Ramsey.” She cleared her throat and made finger guns towards the door. She quickly darted out of his office and away from his sight. Her throat soon closed again andher walls crumbled down. 

Cecily quickly turned the knob of the supply closet and collapsed. Her hands gripped onto the cracked walls and her nails scraped some of the paint off of it as she glanced up at the ceiling. Trying to keep the tears a float, she refused to cry,- at least not over him. She was breathing ragged, her arms moved to her chest and she clutched tightly on herself, attempting to hug herself. 

‘It hurts so much.’ she thought, ‘why does it hurt so-.’

The door swung open and Bryce stood in front of it concerned. His brown eyes scanned her, trying to comprehend why she was on the edge of a mental breakdown. He stood still for a while, not completely sure of what to do with Cecily. Bryce couldn’t recall if he ever saw her cry this much. The moment, they made eye contact. She rubbed her nose with the sleeve of her lab coat and sniffled.

“Bryce, don’t just stand there! Get in or get out!” she cried, throwing an ivy bag at him. 

Bryce gave her a sad smile, remembering their first day at Edenbrook. She said that exact same thing to him as she did a year ago. He silently closed the door with a click as he slowly walked towards her, sliding down the wall. His long, toned arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. He rested his chin on Cecily’s head, keeping her close and tight. He rubbed soothing, circular motions around her back, whispering reassuring words in her ear. 

After a few minutes of her hyperventilating, she was finally stable and not crying. All he could hear was small sniffles and breathing steading. His arms still had her in a cocoon, protecting her with all he had. Bryce hated to see Cecily cry. They’ve been best friends since last year and were completely inseparable. They relied on one another, a lot. And when one was upset or in pain the other was there for them. He always joked that the best should always stick together but he really meant it, in some egotistical, cocky way. Bryce swears on his looks that he’d always be there for her, no matter what. 

Bryce’s fingers nimbly turned her head to face him, his thumb pressed softly against her chin. His eyes softened even more as he could see her nose was pinker than Azaleas. He comfortingly asked what happened to make her cry so much. 

Almost immediately, her chin started to wobble and her eyes began to water again. Cecily bit her lip, hard, trying to stop her cries but it failed, miserably. A metallic taste lingered on her tongue as she shoved her head into his chest. Through incoherent sobs, she cried, “I- I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

He massaged her shoulders and he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, “Okay, we don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” 

They stayed like that for a long time before Bryce finally stood up and offered her a hand. Cecily hesitantly took it, letting him pull her off her feet. A small giggle left her lips as she crashed into him. He laughed along with her, too. They quietly walked out of the supply closet, not bothered by the stares of their coworkers. At least, Bryce wasn’t. Cecily was though. She felt a burning sensation through her head, she knew whose eyes were on her and she felt dirty and ashamed. Cecily felt her cheeks flush a bright red as she attempted to concentrate on Bryce.

“Hey, at least, you don’t have make up on today.” he gave her a grin, “Right?” 

Cecily snorted dryly, “Yeah, I guess so.” She bit her lip, lightly before hugging him again. Resting, her head on his chest, her small arms wrapped around his torso. 

“You’re welcome, Barbie.” Bryce cockily mocked before winking at her, before strutting off to the surgical floor. 

“Whatever Ken!” she called out after him, walking towards the nurses station, picking up one of her patient’s charts and continuing the rest of her long shift. 

After the long hours of skillfully diagnosing and discharging patients,- and maybe avoiding a certain attending,- her day was finally over. Cecily could go home and sulk whilst eating a tub of strawberry ice cream or she can get drunk at Donahues. The ideas both seemed to fit well with her if she was being honest but she already made plans with the others for Donahues. She slipped on a pair of light blue sweats and a white crop. Staring at the mirror, she pulled her matching bandana and swiftly pulled her out of her face and poked at strands to frame her features. Cecily gnawed at her bottom lips as she remembered the occurring events with Ethan with a shake of her head and a sigh, she stumbled out of the changing room, shoving her professional clothes and heels in her locker. Frankly, she didn’t feel like bringing them home, she was just lazy. 

Sienna awaited near the entrance along with Jackie, Bryce and Elijah. All talking amongst themselves excitedly and were full of banter. Bryce and Jackie continued making witty comments at each other as Sienna and Elijah spoke of their interns, Sothy and Mitch. Cecily finally met up with them. She shared a bright, teasing smile and placed her small, pale hand on her hip. “Ready to start drinking lightweights or are you not up for it?” 

“That’s some big talk coming from a moppy drunk who can barely handle two shots of tequila,” Jackie quipped back at Cecily, her leathered arm swung over Cecily’s shoulder. Her big brown eyes sparked with a flare, the usual teasing flare, Jackie always had. She smirked, pridefully at her as Cecily shooed her away and elbows her side. 

“Leave her alone, Jackie,” Elijah grinned, “Cecily’s only 24, there’s a lot of time for her to become and train for drinking.” 

“I-,” Cecily groaned, she stared at the high ceiling, covering her face with her arms, “ Ugh! It was one time! And,- and I already had half a bottle of scotch! You can’t blame me!” 

The pair of residents strolled out of Edenbrook with lopsided grins. Screams of boisterous laughter and just yelling,- in general came from their direction. All of them butting heads and sizing the other one up. They staggered into each other, resulting in Bryce to fall flat on his behind which made Jackie make a remark and the others snickering. The five of them finally were there and were ready to venture into Donahues and forget anything that happened today with burning, refreshing liquid. 

hope you enjoyed! would anyone want me to make a taglist?

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[wongiemei]

iKON Relationship with New Girl Member

Jinhwan:

Basically, her dad

Takes care of her the most dealing with her problems

He’s the oldest and he is used to dealing with the boys’ shit so he can handle hers too

But sometimes, it can be overwhelming

The girl member would listen to him like he would for her

Whenever she gets in trouble, he would always defend her (which annoys Bin a lot)

When she’s in that *cough* time *cough*, she would be the most comfortable with him

Jinhwan wouldn’t hesitate but go to the store 2 streets down and buy her chocolate, medicine, heating packs, chips, and tampons/pads

out of all the boys, she would trust him the most

if she needs something, she would go to him first

jinhwan loves to brag about that to the boys

he also loves the fact that someone is finally shorter than him

the boys still call him short but the girl defends him saying he’s taller than her

if anything, they should call her short

the first time it happened, jinhwan almost cried bc finally someone stood up for him

whenever he’s upset or hurt by what the others said, he hides it but she can usually tell 

the only one he speaks his problems to

she experiments with makeup on him since he’s the only one who lets her

ngl, she’s actually pretty good

‘i didn’t spend 2 all-nighters watching jeffree star and james charles for nothing’

but as long as he sees that bright smile, he’s happy

i think he would be the im-never-letting-you-go type with her because he sees her as the girl he saw for the very first time

shy and innocent

and he will be damned if someone corrupts her

Yunhyeong:

if Jinhwan is her dad, he’s her mom

makes sure she does laundry, gets up early, goes to bed on time, showers before the boys

will feed and cook for the girl even when he’s tired

thinks shes the cutest little thing

but he knows that if he finds chanwoo and her are talking amongst themselves, shes gone

gets pranked on the most

the boys would use the girl to take advantage of his kindness to her for a prank

then the girl would be guilty later on and secretly tell song what theyre planning

believe it or not, yunghyeong is pretty scary when he’s mad

so she rats the others out bc she knows he wont punish her and she could watch the boys suffer

its like killing 2 birds with one stone

but really, she appreciates him

without him, she would be stuck eating delivery and ramen every night

since she rooms with him, chanwoo, and hanbin, hes always cooking something

ikonics see her a lot in his vlives and YT channel

when he went to the jungle, she was very worried

‘hyung, you’re going to get sick there! who’s going to feed me when you’re gone? you know Bin can’t cook for shit!’

‘yah! do you only see me as your chef?!’

‘what do you mean i can’t cook?!’

he looks out for her a lot

during ikontv, she was the only one excited for the mungap trip

out of all the boys, she appreciates him the most

okay, maybe she appreciates him and jinhwan the most

but, he was the one who made her feel welcome and tried the most to help her fit in and make sure she was comfortable

will never forget when he left her a tray of food at her door when she refused to leave her new room

there was a post-it note with encouraging words and she still has it to this day

just a wholesome mother-daughter relationship that will never be broken

Bobby:

oh, my baby

as i mentioned in the earlier post, he wasn’t very upset but he wasnt happy

but he wasnt upset enough to make her feel uncomfortable

bc jiwon is such a baby and so nice that he subtly helps her

over time, they build a cute relationship where he is like her older brother

steals her food all the time

‘no! song-hyung cooked that for me! Only for me!’

‘yah! it’s rude not to share with your elders!’

‘*mumbling* wdym elder. you’re practically a 5 year old’

jiwon has no mean bone in his body and you were practically an angel to him

well, when you’re not fooling around or goofing off

although he thought you wouldnt survive in iKON, he tries to help you as much as he can

even though bin is literally a big butt and gives you a hard time, jiwon helps you

like the time bin screamed at you because you couldnt get the dance right and you, being a strong woman who wouldnt let people push you around, screamed at him too

it resulted to you having a screaming match and the elders having to push you back because you were so close to punching him in the face and the youngers holding bin because he wouldnt hesitate to come at you

more on that in a sec

but you slammed the practice room shut and walked to the river to cool down

granted you were new to korea and didnt really know where you were going, you went to the place the guys took you to

bobby found you crying there and hes a very awkward little bean so it was hard for him to comfort you

since youre a girl and all

but you wrapped your arms around him and cried to his chest *cue confused and frozen bobby*

jiwon slowly wrapped his arms around you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear

since then, hes vowed to protect you bc youre basically the little sister hes wanted

B.I:

okay, lets get this bread

as i said in the beginning, he didnt like you

aT aLL

he wanted to give you a hard time bc he wanted to see how long you would last

these boys have been with him since their survival days and suddenly this girl comes in? no thanks bitch

but i think bin is just really frustrated bc he couldnt figure you out

the others, he knows like the back of his hands

but you? he doesnt know shit about you

*cue his bratty self*

we all know bin is actually a soft little puppy who needs to be protected by iKONICS and will sacrifice himself for his boys

and dont worry, he will soon come to love you too

when you locked yourself up in your room, jinhwan grabbed his ear and pulled him outside to scold him

but it resulted to bin and jinhwan arguing

‘if you dont get your shit together, we’re going to have some problems. you’re the leader arent you? then act like it’

every day you try to be nice to him but he just shrugs and sometimes even outright ignore you

but as time goes on, hanbin slowly figures you out

youre still scared of him and thinks hes a douche but you can see hes trying

he really is trying

he picks up your weird habits like unintentionally pout when you dont understand something or the tip of your nose sweating when youre nervous

before, he used to not ask for your input in any tracks but it has come to the point he would knock at your door in the ungodly time of 2 in the morning, asking if the draft is good

love scenario was your guys’ combined efforts

there will be an imagine with that^

since you came in bling bling era, he didnt really give you a lot of lines because he couldnt figure out your voice and your strengths

but now, he knows you very well too

‘yah, be careful. dont be eating a lot of that ice cream. you shouldnt even have any in the first place. youre lactose intolerant, remember?’

‘yes, bin. i think id remember if there was something wrong with me.’

there are petty little fights between you guys that used to be mean and hurtful but are now playful and downright cute

but that dreaded day of your biggest fight yet

in love scenario during bobby’s rap, there’s that fast move that even the others struggled in

but hanbin already got it nailed down bc hes a GOD

but you were struggling the most and hanbin tried to be patient and help you

it was just hard for you and you couldnt get it right

by the 100th time of him repeating it over and over again, he exploded

‘yah! how are you a dancer when you couldnt even get this right!’

you looked down ashamed while mumbling ‘sorry’

he yells again and you mess up 

AGAIN

he throws his hat down and gets up towards you

‘if you cant do it correctly, why bother with it? go home. you’re done’

jinhwan nervously puts a hand on his shoulder and goes in between them to try and difuse the situation

‘hanbin-ah. we’re having a hard time too. its not just her. the dance is just hard.’

‘i dont get we’ve done WAY harder choreo than this’

‘well, hanbin, remember. she wasnt here for that.’

‘maybe it was a mistake to put her here then. she isnt ready.’

you look up at him with flaring eyes

‘listen, you dont know anything that ive been through to get to where i am today so dont even say im not ready. YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!’

everyone stayed silent, even the maknaes bc theyve never seen her lash out like that

hanbin scoffed.

‘maybe if you actually opened up yourself to us and not hide in your damn room all day’

she stomped to him and pushed him

‘no MAYBE if you pulled your head out of your ass and take the time to get to know me then maybe you would! but NO! you decide to be a little bitch and throw tantrums just bc a girl joined your group. was your ego hurt that yg sent a girl to you? that you would need someone to make sure that this group doesnt crumble to the ground? bc with the way youre acting, the guys arent here just because youre a good leader. YOURE A TYRANT! THATS ALL YOU WOULD EVER BE!’

shit

Hanbin was FURIOUS

he pushed her back and the guys held on to them

you pushed them away and sent one last hateful glare before you made your way to the door

‘but dont worry, kim hanbin. because ill send my resignation letter to yang in the morning. im not putting up with your shit any longer’

there will be a whole ass imagine about that so it will contain when yall make up

but after that, yall are so cool

his sister loves you and he might start having a ‘thing’ 

more on that in a sec

Donghyuck:

oof my baby sunshine

previously stated, he was the only one excited for your arrival

so obvs, yall are very tight

you, bob, and dong do vlives together a lot and ikonics look forward to it all the time

always cheers you up

remember that prank for ikon tv where dong literally started comforting the girl?

well, he does that to you

he knows when you start to get upset and he rubs your back

sometimes, just a hug from him makes it all better

did i mention that he gives out the warmest hugs?

ace dancers

both of you love to do covers as bonding time

whenever you can’t sleep, you just go to the other dorm and go under the covers while he sings to you

he sees you as his little sister and reminds him of his own little sister back home

btw, he loves to give you gifts

but so do you

when yall were filming ikon tv, he always picked up something that reminded him of you

like when he went shopping with bobby for their studio, he got you a little cute figurine that you still have to this day

or when you went to lotte mall for your day off and bought him a little necklace

fans get excited bc they always see matching yall have

the two of you wear the most fan gifts

like when someone gave hanbin a shirt, you snatch it and wear it

like how dong takes bobby’s clothing

yall are so cute together and fans wish they had a brother or a sister like yall

Junhoe:

this hoe

jk, but he really looks hot in this one

yes, he hated you in the beginning but once he found out similarities between you, he started tolerating you

also to him, i think he oesnt like the fact that him and the others worked so hard to get where they are and he doesnt really know what you went through to get there

junhoe has the personality that may seem very cold at first but he easily opens up to others and that causes them to open up to him

he knows the struggles you went through to be in ikon

you’re older than him by a few months and you treat him like your child

‘junhoe-ah! dont forget to take your makeup off!’

‘yah! clean your room! its like a pigsty!’

he gets annoyed with it but he knows you just look out for him

he calls you ‘noona’ with that cute ass smile if he wants something

how can you say no to that

yalls laughs are so loud and yall are just loud in general

one time, yall had a competition on who could sing louder and the guys almost banned you from the apartment complex

the neighbors weren’t happy

he always asks you for fashion advice even though you don’t have a good fashion taste

you have the habit of spoiling him of clothes and shoes

‘noona, you don’t need to do this. take them back’

‘wtf they’re from busan. i’m not about to take a train ride there to return those. keep them.’

his mom absolutely adores you

always tells you to look after him and junhoe blushing like a maniac

‘mom, i’m bigger than her. i think she’d need more protecting than me’

he turns red whenever you pinch his cheeks together 

ngl, he had a crush on you but it faded away when he saw another member having a crush on you too

hes scared of him so hed rather back off

but you love him a lot and comfort him bc hes a little baby that really needs to be looked after

Chanwoo:

fuck, so cute

at first, chanwoo ignored you and made sure you were uncomfortable

even going as far as to disrespecting you

like being rude and being un-chanwoo

lets just say yunhyeong beat it out of him

as the youngest member, you baby him the most

‘oh, my little baby!’

initially, he was uncomfortable with it 

but now, he lives for it

pouts when you give another member too much attention

teases you about your short height all the time

helps you grocery shop mainly for him to carry the bags

‘dont worry, noona. im strong’

you find out that chanwoo actually joined the group last and had a hard time fitting in

you used this to your advantage to get closer to him with your similar situations

‘you know, being in an unfamiliar environment is hard. but having someone who understands your feelings makes it easier’

and he just looks up to you with those big brown eyes and you just melt

gamer buddies

love to go to pc cafes even though yall have your own respective computers at home

only goes for the food

always calls him when you’re stuck in one level

*cute Hanbin’s voice*

‘CHANWOO-YAH!!!! JUNG CHANWOO!!!’

even though he might act like a bitch sometimes, hes actually so soft and cute

hes your little baby and will always be your little baby even though yall are like 80